#not once has he been there for TK IN HIS LIFE

[im-overstimulated-and-im-sad]

6, 12, 21 for Owen please

Hi 🥰🥰

6- What’s something you have in common with this character?

As much as I love Owen Strand that is a tough one because he has confidence and leadership that I myself do not possess, and my eating habits are more akin to raccoon fishing stuff out of a dumpster lol… but I will say I also know what it’s like to have your life changed by divorce (I was the kid not the person getting divorced) but that is a reason I love the Strand family so much in general.

12- What’s a headcanon you have for this character?

Basically my headcanon is that Owen was not absent for TK’s entire childhood after the divorce- I maintain there was a couple of rough years where he wasn’t as present as he should have been but after Gwyn kicked his ass and he made it to TK’s holiday concert then he made more of an effort- I’m not saying he never chose work over his kid but he was always in TK’s life and saw his son every week otherwise they wouldn’t be as close as they are because even in the pilot it’s clear how close they are and who much Owen knows his kid, which I don’t think they would have been if Owen was truly never there

21- if you’re a fic writer and have written for this character, what’s your favorite thing to do when you’re writing for this character? What’s something you don’t like?

In fact I have- (Will Ferrell Anchorman voice) you can say I’ve written about a quarter million words about this character 🥰🥰

And that is because Owen is very fun to write- I love writing dad Owen, writing Owen as a dad taking care of/frantically searching for/patching up his kid(s) is very fun 😍😍

Something I don’t like (but won’t deny happen- I just felt it didn’t happen to quite the extent others do) is because my long fic starts when TK is five and goes through the years of the divorce it was much less fun to write trying but coming up short Owen but I did- the petty his ex wife is seeing someone new Owen, falling asleep and his kid gets injured when he was supposed to be watching them Owen- not showing up for not just there holiday concert but missing other big things Owen- less fun to write but I definitely have!

Thank you for the ask 😍😍😍

[unstatedmartini]

Tk was so nervous but soft on the phonecall to Carlos 🥹 and you could see his disappointment when Carlos said he wasn’t coming home tonight as he ‘might’ stay with Iris (I also think I caught an eye roll from Tk when Carlos said that aswell) 🥹 clearly Tk thought Carlos was avoiding coming home as he’s still mad at Tk which wouldn’t of helped Tk’s guilt that was consuming him. The “I love you?” was so sad too, Tk was so nervous to say it and clearly wanted some reassurance that everything is ok and he didn’t really get it. And the fact Tk didn’t want to eat with their friends 😞

[aida-sparks]

Eddie pining in secret over Buck seems like a legitimate thing.

There's subtext in many scenes that make me think Eddie has secretly pined over Buck to some extent. I also see more than one reason why Eddie might never act on all those warm feels he doesn't know what to do with. Just one of those reasons is that even if he has finally accepted that he himself has feelings for Buck, he simply doesn't see how Buck could ever reciprocate.

Why would Eddie think that? Eddie's understanding of Buck's sexual life is shaped by what he's heard. (And what he hasn't!)

Eddie was never around to hear Maddie's comments that imply her brother might like men the same way he likes women.

Maddie to Buck in 2x4: "So does this boy crush on Eddie mean that you're finally ready to move on from Abby?"

Maddie to Josh in 3x12: "Oh no, I like you too much to set you up with my brother." Unrelated to Maddie but still key: Eddie also missed TK's comment to Buck in the Lonestar crossover episode, where TK assumed Buck was either gay or bi and that Buck was hitting on him.....

2. Instead, Eddie was around to hear all about Buck's firehose exploits back in the days when he was a self-described "sex addict". Yes, Eddie knows about Buck 1.0.

In 3x12, When Chimney suggests Eddie try talking to a therapist name Rosie, Buck asks, "Is that the one I slept with?" Eddie responds, "You slept with your therapist?"

Most recently in 6x13 Eddie listens to Buck try to calculate all the women he's slept with.

No one can convince me that the look on Eddie's face here is simply exasperation. He truly looks a little crestfallen, like Buck's words stung him.

It's just another reminder in Eddie's head that Buck is different from him when it comes to sex. Pair that with the head canon that Eddie is demisexual (everything in canon points to it, in my opinion!), and it's easy to see why Eddie would think he has zero chance with Buck. Buck once described himself as a sex addict. Eddie, on the other hand, got with Shannon in high school and hasn't ever been shown to go looking for any casual flings or want even a one-night stand. I don't think Eddie judges either lifestyle; he just recognizes they are very different. So, no matter what Eddie may have come to realize about his own feelings toward Buck, it's easy for him to think he could never be enough for Buck. And so Eddie pushes down those warm feelings, and he settles for whatever he can get with Buck. As long as Buck's in his and Christopher's life, that can be enough for Eddie. And that's still so sad to me, because it means that Eddie still isn't following his own heart.

It would be interesting for Eddie to be in earshot the next time Maddie makes a comment about a male date for Buck, though!

[darkbluekies]

Can I request a one shot with a reader that managed to pick the lock and escape the hospital? (Dr.Kry)

Escaping a madman

Doctor!yandere OC x reader

Summary: you pick the lock and escape doctor Kry. You don't know that he knows exactly where you live and decides to go get you back.

Warnings: yandere, drugs, obsession, mentions of killing, threats, non consensual kiss, kidnapping

Word count 1.9k

"All tucked in nicely?" he smiles, feeling the duvets with his hands.

You nod.

"Okay, good", the doctor continues. "Alright then, sleep well, Y/N, I will be back in an hour or so to check up on you. If there’s anything you need, just press the button on your bed and I'll be here in a heartbeat."

Doctor Kry thinks it's just one of your normal afternoon naps. If only he knew what you have planned. The very second the door closes behind him, you can hear the lock turning. You sprint up from your bed and over to the desk. You open drawer after drawer with your weak hands, already feeling how your head is spinning with all this movement and fear. Dr Kry could come back any minute if he suspects something and then he'll catch you red handed. Maybe that's why he started locking your door?

You can't take more of him. He's like a parasite that feeds off of you and he doesn't seem like he can get enough. You need to get away before he sews himself together with you.

Gosh, how you miss your family. Dr Kry barely tells you what day it is, so you don't know how long you've been separated. All you know is that it's too long.

You rummage through the small drawers until you find a paperclip. If you bend it enough, maybe you can use it as a lockpick?

You don't wait to find out. Quickly, you run to the door and insert the little metal stick into the keyhole. You poke around, trying to find the right trigger. Something has to be pressed to unlock the door.

You sit there for a good ten minutes before the lock gives in and clicks open. With a small, relieved smile, you open the door. You sneak out into the corridor, carefully looking around. You've barely left your room since you've come here. The only times you've been let out has been by Dr Kry’s side (and the few times you managed to run down to the cafeteria). The cafeteria is close to the entrance, right where you have to be. You know the way down to the cafeteria wonderfully.

You decide to take the elevator. Less people will see you that way. You only need once glance in the elevator mirror to grow cold. If you've ever seen a walking zombie, that'd be it. This hospital has turned you into a living dead.

As soon as the box you're in stops moving and the doors open, you brace yourself. Be quick, unnoticeable and brave. Don't stop if anyone asks you something … and if Doctor Kry sees you … run for dear life. He has to be the reason why you're looking and feeling like you do. Thankfully, no one seems tk bat an eye. Everyone is so busy with their own things that no one seems to see the person walking out the entrance in a hospital gown. Your heart is beating in your throat. Bare feet touch the asphalt and you gulp. You're free! You're outside! The fresh breeze caresses your body, welcoming you out, congratulating you for finally escaping.

Tears run down your cheeks as you run over to the payphone in the middle of the parking lot. You have to call your parents and have them pick you up before Dr Kry realizes that you're gone. Only problem? You don't have any coins. Desperately, you look around and find that someone must have dropped there on the ground. You pick up the two shiny coins and push them into the slot. Fingers shaking as you press the number buttons. A few signals pass by before it breaks off.

"Hello?" a familiar voice says.

"Mom!" you breathe out, near tears again.

"Y/N?! H-How are you feeling, you haven't let us see you-"

"No, it wasn't me, I promise. I-Ill tell you everything, just please come pick me up! Hurry!"

"I'll be there soon."

And so she hung up. You sink down on the asphalt and start to bawl. Feeling overwhelmed would be an understatement. Hearing your mothers voice again, being outside, about to be picked up, being noticed by doctor Kry … it'll end your poor heart.

Fifteen minutes feel like two years. Your mom's car finally slides into the parking lot with a screech and is close to hitting another car. It stops right in front of you. Your mother jumps out without bothering to close the door behind her. She throws herself over you and you cling onto the woman as if this is the last time you'll ever see her. The familiar smell is hypnotizing, it makes you think of a better time, a time that feels so long ago. It's summer now and when you went into the hospital the snow was falling heavily from the gray sky. Either it's been a year and a half or six months. It feels more like the first alternative, but your mom hasn't changed at all, so you believe it's only been a couple of months.

She brings you into the car while asking a million different questions. You answer them all, but your body starts to lose the adrenaline. You slump back into the seat. Normally, you would be sleeping at this time and your body has adapted to your different nap times.

As soon as you come back to your childhood home, an immense feeling of exhaustion washes over you. You're home, you're finally safe.

You want to tell your family everything that has happened, but you think that you're going to faint if you don't get to sleep in your own bed again. They help you up to the second floor and place you gently into the bed. Everything around you is as you remember it. It smells like it usually smells, it looks like it usually looks and it feels like it usually does. You're home.

A weird noise wakes you up. Something sounding like a door creaking open. You open your eyes, but to your surprise, you can't see anything! You must have slept longer than planned. The moon is up outside your window.

You look around, noticing a figure in the darkness. As you're about to gasp, a hand slaps over your mouth. Only by the scent, you're able to identify the person.

"Shh, my little one", Dr Kry whispers and holds his other finger over his lips. "If you make any noise I'll kill them."

You don't have to ask who he means. Terrified, you shake your head as quickly as you can. He sighs, looking down into your pleading eyes.

"Why did you have to run away, hm?" he says sadly. "It was supposed to be the two of us. Don't you understand how scared I got when I walked into your room and saw that you weren't there? I looked at the security footage and you and so sheepishly walked out! I knew that you'd go here. You missed your family so much, didn't you, little one?"

Tears start to run down your cheeks, flooding down on his hand.

"Don't cry", Dr Kry whispers and bends down to lean his forehead on yours. "I'm not going to hurt you. I'll remove my hand, okay? Remember that if you make any noise, I'll kill your parents. You don't want that, do you?"

You shake your head just as quickly again.

"Good", he whispers and removes his hand.

Your bottom lip trembles tremendously and you're about to let out a sob, but you bite your lip to prevent it.

"You're so pretty", Dr Kry whispers.

You shake your head. You saw your reflection in the mirror. Whatever he's done to you, it's anything but pretty.

"Yes, you are", he whispers and cups your cheeks softly.

His cold hands make you shiver. You pray that this is a nightmare. A side effect from the lack of drugs he's given you. But his touch, his breath, it's all too real.

Suddenly, his lips meet yours in a gentle kiss. You gasp and stare at him, too shocked to push him off.

Dr Kry pulls back and picks up something from his pocket. You notice how he's not wearing his doctor clothes. He's wearing a sand colored jean jacket and a pair of jeans. You can't tell what he picks up from his pocket, but it looks like a cloth.

"Take a big breath", he urges and presses it to your face, covering both mouth and nose. "Come on, sweetheart. Can’t you do that for me?"

You start to turn your head back and forth, but you can't escape his claws. The cloth follows your every move. You hold your breath and glare at him. He seems to be as calm as ever. He knows that you’ll have to breathe sooner or later. You can’t win. When you can't hold your breath anymore you're forced to breathe it in whether you like it or not. A dizzy sensation enters your brain, numbing it.

"There we go", he cooes. "What a good little thing you are, darling. Big breaths, good job. Don't be scared, when you wake up, you'll be where you belong again and we can pretend that this never happened."

The last thing you see is Doctor Kry’s blue eyes staring right into yours.

When you wake up, the sun is shining in your eyes. The groggy feeling in your head is making everything harder. You can’t seem to move or think. With half open eyes, you look around, finding that you’re back in the hospital. You lift your hands to rub your eyes, but your right hand stops. You look down. He’s handcuffed it to the side of the bed! In panic, you start to move your hand, hoping to get out of it.

The bathroom door opens and Dr Kry comes out, fixing his white lab coat. You freeze and stare at him with wide eyes. He smiles slightly.

“Oh, darling, don’t look so scared”, he says and nods at your cuffed wrist. “I had to do that to make sure you don’t go rummaging through my drawers again. If you can pick the door lock with a paperclip, I don’t want to know what more you can do.”

“L-Let me go!” you shout.

“No, I won’t.” He sits down on the side of the bed, right by your knees. “You need me as much as I need you … it’s just a matter of time before you realize that. You’re sick, Y/N, you can’t be out in the large world. Don’t you see that I’m protecting you? You need me to protect you. You can’t survive without me.”

“I hate you. You’re such a piece of shit!”

“You’re just frightened. I know you don’t hate me. You like me when I’m nice and I’ll be just as nice as you want me to be, but then you need to be a good little patient and not run around when you’re not supposed to. Promise me that you’ll never try to run away again. I didn’t touch your parents this time, but if you ever try again, I’ll burn down their house. Remember, Y/N, I’m good at making murders look like accidents.”

“No …”

“Yes. Promise me now. Promise that you’ll stay here for the rest of your little life and that you’ll never try to leave me again. Promise me.”

“I can’t …”

“I know where you live, I know where all of your friends live-”

“I promise! I promise to n-never leave you again. Please, just let everyone be. I’ll do whatever you want if you just let everyone else be!”

Dr Kry smiles cockily and kisses your forehead. You shiver and close your eyes. Can you ever escape this madman?

[canonicallyobserving911]

Buck & Eddie: “You don’t know me!” - 7x5

In 2x8, Buck told a woman, “You don’t even know me!” and according to the script for episode 5 in season 7, the title of it will be almost an exact match since it's "You don’t know me!” and it appears to be a callback to his comment.

Since it's possible some may not have watched 2x8 Buck Actually in a while, here’s a quick reminder of the conversation Buck had with Bobby.  They were discussing TK and how Buck hooked up with her in a bar restroom but Buck told him that since he had finally let go of AC, he thought she had changed him 🙄. Then he proceeded to say he had only been single for like a day and he was back to basically being Buck 1.0. When they entered the gas station, Buck kept talking to Bobby about how he was thinking about calling TK but he didn’t want her to think he was only after one thing.  While Hen was treating the woman robber victim, she overheard Buck talking and commented, “You are only after one thing.  Jerk!”.  Buck responded, “You don’t even know me!” and she replied, “You’re a man, I know enough!”

Why is this important?

It’s important because the theme of “You don’t know me” has been applied to Buck with regards to every hookup or so-called “relationship” he’s had with different women on the show.  Let’s be real for a minute because the truth is none of them AC, AM, TK, ND, Dr. Wells nor the two women he hooked up with in season 1 knew him either.  Also, the woman who made the comment was a random victim who overheard Buck talking for less than a minute and she thought she knew Buck just because he’s a man. It was implied that all men want to do is hookup and leave like he did with TK but Buck has been and continues to search for the love of his life. The conversation he had with her connects to the one he had with Eddie in 6x15 while they were standing in the cemetery.

Buck said, “I feel like I have to try and be the same old Buck… mostly for the sake of everyone else” and Eddie responded, “You don’t have to be anything for anybody”.

IMO, their comments were being made directly to the audience and they were for the people who, after six seasons still want to keep seeing Buck do the same thing over and over again (I know it’s hard to believe but trust and believe there are people in the GA and in the 9-1-1 fandom who want to keep Buck on the hamster wheel and I think it’s because they DON’T WANT HIM TO BE WITH EDDIE).  These are the viewers who would rather he keep randomly hooking up with people (it could be anybody and it doesn’t matter if it’s irrational, nonsensical, illogical, random or whatever/whomever just as long as they can see him hookup with another guy or another random love interest) instead of him finally accepting the love that him and Eddie effortlessly share with one another.  I’ve said this many times, Buck and Eddie are in love with each other, they’re soulmates (post linked here) and they share a once in a lifetime love of their lives type of love that transcends space and time.  They have a deep, emotional and intimate connection that’s not superficial and it’s not based on a hookup.  They have an EPIC love story that deserves to be told without any more distractions or the addition of one-dimensional love interests.  It’s not platonic, it’s romantic and if they do go CANON, it will make for groundbreaking television.

Back to our regularly scheduled program…

After the title for 7x5 was released a few weeks ago, I completed a post about how Connor really doesn’t know Buck the way he said he does in 6x4 (linked here) and I stand by everything I included in it.  However, this post is in addition to that one and it includes the details about how all the women Buck dated didn’t know him either.

In 1x1, the first woman Buck was shown hooking up with in the firetruck told him to his face that she didn’t want to get to know him.  He asked her for her number and she replied, “You’re cute and you’re very good at whatever it is we just did but let’s not ruin it by getting to know each other.” She didn't want to get to know him and the look on his face showed he wanted more but she didn't so he moved on to the next one.

Dr. Wells was the LAFD’s trauma therapist and SHE TRIED TO BEFRIEND Buck on Facebook before he ever entered her office.  She knew the day would come when he would need therapy and when he asked her if she sent him a friend request, she told him he should delete it but then they ended up having sex.  It was played off like a joke but that’s not what it was because she was in a position of power and as a licensed therapist, she should have been charged because it’s against the law for that to happen. IMO, since Buck didn't know any better, as his captain, Bobby should have reported her. She wasn't mentioned again until 3x9 when Buck, Bobby, Chimney and Eddie were sitting in the loft at the firehouse and all Bobby said was "She's no longer with the department". That wasn't enough and she took advantage of him. Trust and believe the situation would have ended differently if the roles had been reversed.

AC wasn’t any different because after Buck stood by her and helped her after her mom died, he was being catfished by a man and several women were after him because of that guy's lies. After a woman threw a drink in his face, he said to her, “You know me right? Come on” and she replied, “I don’t even know who I am right now. But I definitely don’t feel like I know who you are right now.” She ended up ghosting him and abandoning him while he waited for her for months.

When she returned two years later, she didn't even apologize to him.

AM didn’t know Buck either and don’t get sidetracked by the fact that she called him Evan sometimes.  It was proven she didn’t know who he is when she said, “I know it’s who you are” after he said, “You want me to quit my job”.  Well, being a firefighter is NOT who Buck is, it’s what he does but she clearly saw him as a hot firefighter just like AC did and was looking for a good time. Please remember she didn't have a problem leaving him because of it.

TK didn’t know Buck at all and for everyone who thinks just because they were having sex and living together, that doesn’t mean anything because after meeting four years earlier, TK still had no idea who Buck was before it was over and she didn’t care.  If she had known him then she wouldn’t have betrayed his trust.  Also, he did cheat on her which made the situation worse but neither of them wanted to admit they weren’t supposed to be together and they clung instead of just ending it.  When he got ready to break up with her, she didn't try to see his side of it, she just stuck to her immoral ideals and wanted him to be ok with her running with the Jonah story.  Instead of saying, “I understand and I apologize” she said, “You knew who I was when we started dating” and he replied, “I guess I thought I could learn to live with it”.  She made it all about her the same way Buck makes everything about himself. They were two self-centered people with tragic childhoods in a trainwreck relationship and it shouldn’t have ever happened. It's still interesting that Buck ended up in a relationship with her after everything she did to Bobby and the 118 four years earlier (related post linked here and here).

ND fangirled over Buck and was so enthralled by his death but when she found out he had a full life, she did judge him.  He said, “I know this is something that’s easy to judge” but even though she said that him being a sperm donor was a kind gesture or whatever, she left because she couldn't handle his full life. Granted she was a death doula but her actions weren't professional and it would have been better if she would have helped him deal with his death. Her return should have ended with Buck saying "No thanks" and sending her on her way but of course he was shoved into another lackluster one dimensional relationship. Also, them telling each other, “I like you” was very high school like🙄.

Please understand, I don't like TK but in 4x8 she said, "You just can't stand the idea of someone not liking you" and she was right. Buck works hard to make people like him and it's very reminiscent of the way he's been trying to get his parents to love him anyway. He needs therapy.

It seems like he's still doing it and the words Bobby spoke in 6x11 during his coma dream had no effect since he still cares about how people see him. He hasn't learned anything yet but hopefully he will in season 7.

Eddie Diaz is the ONLY person on the show who KNOWS and SEES Buck and the video above includes several snippets from different episodes to prove it.

Eddie knows him at his core. He knows when to call him on his BS, he recognizes when Buck makes things about himself and he knows when he's trying to fix things instead of understanding it's not always his job to fix them.

Maddie is Buck's sister but she still sees Evan (post linked here) her little brother but Eddie knows Buck and after they become a CANON couple, he’ll know Buck even more. 

While I’m not sure who’s going to say, “You don’t know me” in 7x5 or if it will be said at all, I do believe Buck might say it again and if he does, it will be a callback to 2x8. Also, 6x15 could be included in it since Buck might not be trying to be the "same old Buck" anymore and hopefully it will be enough for the naysayers to understand he's not the same person. IMO, I still think it’s something he will say to Connor especially since the sperm donor arc is supposed to return and OS said in an interview it won’t be revisited before the first 5 episodes.  Hopefully, Buck will finally realize the people he thought knew him really don’t including Connor.

Is it possible Eddie could say it to M, maybe but I don’t know because IMO that doesn’t sound like something he would say to anyone.  But he is all therapized now and he’s supposed to be joking or whatever this season so who knows.

The point of this post is to illustrate how Buck said, “You don’t even know me” in 2x8 and apparently, it’s going to be a callback in 7x5 but the question is, if he does say it, who’s he going to say it to? 👀 

[matan4il]

Buddie 611 meta

I LOVED that the ep showed us how Eddie wasn’t doing compressions on Buck because someone instructed him to. No, he just couldn’t stand by, couldn't let someone else try to bring his partner back to life, so he announced he was taking over, fuck anyone who would try to stop him. No one even tries to, they wordlessly acknowledge Eddie as Buck's mad with worry partner, much like how in 315, the team treated Buck while Eddie was in danger. And then Eddie shocks Buck’s heart back and gets his pulse going again. Eddie literally kept Buck’s heart going, and then he was still so distraught that he yelled at the medical staff (even though as a medic, he knows it’s pointless), “Do more!” 'Coz that’s what Eddie himself was doing, he stepped in and did more than he was asked to, a continuation of us having seen him doing exactly that in 610 as well, when he didn’t wait for Bobby to decide what to do to help Buck, Eddie charged up an electrocuted ladder he was just thrown off of. Because when it comes to Buck, he will always do more. ~~

The significance of the bond between them is also shown when Eddie is the first flashback Buck experiences within the coma dream, the first lifeline to the real world. That’s continued when the second flashback is to the tsunami, where Buck saved Chris. However, Eddie and Chris aren't quite present in these flashbacks. Buck’s subconscious is at war with itself. The Diaz boys are this powerful connection to the real world (much like Buck and Chris were Eddie’s back in 315, as I tried to demonstrate in this gifset), but the coma dream shows the power of childhood trauma and how much we can be trapped by the desire to fix it. The whole dream contrasts Buck having parents who are loving, who want and appreciate him, with everything bad that would happen if he weren’t with the 118. As the dream goes on, the price keeps getting higher, yet Buck still struggles until the very end with letting go of the illusion that his parents love him, and the sense he himself can be fixed if they do, like he’d then finally feel good enough. That’s why, in a sense, Eddie and Chris have to be more absent than present for the coma dream to be seductive. Because if they’re fully present, if he truly engages with their coma versions and remembers the family unit he has outside the dream, the balance would be tipped over, the battle would have been decided before Buck had a chance to learn his lesson.

That’s why he only hears what happened to Eddie, he doesn’t witness it firsthand, and why when the dream's seductive nature is failing, suddenly Chris is there (despite his coma version not being in LA) to tempt Buck into staying. Even then, walking away from the dream version of Chris while telling him that he’s not real is the only thing Buck says he'll always feel guilty about. ~~ 

I just gotta include a small note here on how much I love the progression we’ve had from Bobby saying in 101 that while Buck calls him “pops,” they’re not a family, through Buck telling TK aloud that Bobby’s basically his dad (in the crossover) to Bobby finally admitting this is true for him as well. I’ve pointed out this season repeatedly (like in my 610 meta) that the show’s dealing with questions of fatherhood, including the question of biology in that context, and this ep was no different, yet this truly was one of the highlights for me when it comes to this theme. I love how much Buck and Bobby mean to each other. ~~ 

Buck’s mom saying “your kids” and Buck being confused until she clarifies it’s not his actual children, it’s his students, then his disappointment, that’s one loose end that the ep didn’t wrap up, because that is a continuation of the whole sperm donor situation (with Margaret once more being at the center of confusion on whether Buck is a dad or not). This one is only going to be really addressed once Buck fully deals with his role in Connor and Kameron’s baby’s life, something he can’t properly do until he also faces his role in Christopher’s, a role that this ep really emphasized. No other kids were by Buck’s bed, not even May who has free access as a legal adult and who has now admitted she knows Buck is her step dad’s other kid. Chris needs his Buck in a way that no other firefam kid does. ~~ 

Which brings me to the heart wrenching fate we (and Buck) learn the Diaz boys have suffered in his absence. I have mentioned countless times in my meta posts how important I believe 204 was to Buddie. How critical Buck’s decision to step into Eddie’s mess with him was. Not once, but twice in that ep, first when he helps Eddie by talking to Bobby about Chris spending the day at the station with the 118, then when Buck introduces Eddie to Carla. I have always said Eddie was very attracted (and not just physically) to Buck from the start, but Eddie’s Christopher’s dad first, so he never would have been able to fall for anyone who doesn’t also love his son as much as he does. In other words, I’ve always thought the heart eyes Eddie gives Buck at the end of the Carla introduction scene, that was the moment when he was gone. And now we learn how meaningful Buck himself knows that was. Without that happening, his subconscious just knows Eddie’s parents would have succeeded with their threat of getting Chris away from his dad, leading to Eddie completely falling apart. Buddie's tale is a love story, and this coma revelation is basically the show telling us Buck’s subconscious already knows this. ~~ 

Eddie’s reactions in the real world are also a reflection of how important Buddifer’s little family unit is to all three of them. Keep in mind, even with his therapy, Eddie is still a reserved guy, right? He normally remains calm in the face of adversity, it takes a lot to rattle him, he doesn't easily get to the point where he falls apart emotionally. When he does in this ep, he only allows himself to when his son is looking away. And even then, he just can't go on answering Christopher's questions about Buck's state. So it highlights how important Buck is to Eddie, when the latter DOES fall apart. When he jumps in to take care of Buck on the gurney as it’s wheeled into the hospital. When he shouts at the medical staff. When he looks so wrecked at the hospital, close to what previously it took weeks of insomnia to do to him. When he can’t look at Buck's comatose body or stop himself from crying while he listens to Chris speaking or bring himself to be strong for his son and answer him. And of course, when the reserved Eddie goes against hospital regulations and parental common sense (to keep your kid away from disturbing sights), sneaking his son in to see Buck. But Eddie does it because he gets it. When Chris says he needs to talk to Buck, Eddie knows the full weight of this, because it’s his truth, too. Both Diaz boys need their Buck to wake up. So everything Chris is saying, all the comfort he’s offering, along with the insistence that Buck MUST return to them? He’s speaking for Eddie as well. ~~ 

I also liked that Buck realized during his coma dream two truths that seem, but are not, mutually exclusive: that he does have a family worth going back for, but that ultimately, he’s returning for himself. He’s not trying to please anyone else, he’s not trying to get anyone else’s approval. His adoptive family matters to him, even his bio parents who have failed him repeatedly matter, but at the end of the day, he’s not going back because his loved ones do or don’t need him, do or don’t accept him, do or don’t approve of him. He’s going back because he loves them and he wants to be with them. And that ties in with another thing we see in this ep. 

Bobby describes the coma dream as a world where Buck can fix everything. Buck says not all, seemingly implying he couldn’t bring Bobby back from the dead. But that’s not actually true, is it? 'Coz the coma world is Buck’s subconscious, it can be altered in whatever way he wants. Bobby can be there and talk to him despite being “dead” which means... he’s not really dead, not in the way that makes death so tragic, depriving us of our loved ones. Chris can be at the hospital, despite not being in LA and not knowing Buck. It’s a coma dream, there are no rules! Buck’s subconscious is king! And we know how important it is for Buck to fix things, Eddie pointed it out in 504, and we saw a callback to this just last week. The climax of this ep is even set against the musical backdrop of Coldplay’s Fix You. But this trait stems from Buck feeling like he needs to fix things, to be the hero, in order to be worthy of love. In the coma, Buck realizes he IS loved. And therefore, he doesn’t need to fix EVERYTHING in order to make a difference and be deserving of love. He IS enough, exactly as he is, limited fixing possibilities and all. That’s how he gets to choose both his loved ones and himself in coming back to reality. ~~ 

Oh, can we talk about the heart drawings scene from 514 and how it relates to this ep? I recently answered an ask about it, and pointed out I think Eddie’s heart has been Chris for years now, and for a long time, it was only him. But that scene showed how, thanks to the way Buck has been there for both of them along the years, helping, healing and loving them, Eddie’s heart is no longer exclusively his son. It’s Buck, too. Which explains why the heart theme we’ve been seeing with Eddie since 413 has expanded to include Buck’s in this ep, with Eddie literally restarting it. So 611 really affirms who Eddie’s heart now belongs to. We see how, without Buck, he would have lost Chris as well. Without Buck, he would have lost his whole heart. ~~ 

And that brings us of course to what kind of a person Eddie would be once that happened. We learn he would have become this angry man, drawing on his reaction during the lawsuit story arc. But notice that in both cases, a part of the issue causing Eddie's anger is not having Buck. Yes, back in s3 Eddie was dealing with Shannon’s death, but he doesn’t really start losing it until he also can no longer speak to Buck. Similarly, in the coma dream, he becomes Angry Guy due to the loss of Chris, but that is tied in with the absence of Buck in his life. In other words, losing Buck causes Eddie SUCH grief, that it has no other way out except for rage. ~~ 

Did you notice how once again, Buck got to be Madney’s truth teller? He did that first in 208, when he realized Madney are basically dating. Interestingly, everything he told Maddie about them was also true for him and Eddie. Then in this ep, he tells Chim Madney basically should be married, since they already share every other part of domestic and committed life. Obviously this will come into play soon. So just remember that once again, his words can be easily applied to Buddifer as well, plus Buck’s truth teller status was paralleled back in s2 with Maddie in 204, when she asked her brother about his newfound boy crush on Eddie... ~~ 

Okay, last one, but I just had to share with you maybe my fave parallel from this ep. You might have noticed in my 610 meta how much I think the lightning stroke parallels the shooting arc. Well, this was true with one of the sweetest moments in the ep’s conclusion. Just like how, at the end of 414, we got to witness Eddie hugging Chris while Buck watched on, so we get to see Buck hugging their son while Eddie looks on now. Except Eddie isn’t just looking. He enables the hug by helping Chris into Buck’s arms. Tell me again: how is this not a family? How are these men not partners, dedicated and loving towards each other in every way that matters...? ~~ 

Please enjoy direct links to my weekly meta posts, my Buddie gifs and more of my content in my pinned post. Endlessly thankful to @whosoldherout​, who​ blows my mind away every week with her hard work and beautiful gifs for my meta. Tag list will follow in the reblog, please let me know if you wanna be added/removed here. Thank you in advance for any reblog and like! I’m operating on far too little sleep in order to get this posted quickly, so I can't explain how much any and all encouragement matters to me. Thank you! xoxox

[princessamericachavez]

It’s so funny how Buck and Eddie react to each other’s relationships in wildly different ways that, however, ultimately lead to neither of them “supporting” said romance.

Buck: apparently (a little too) supportive, will out Eddie’s relationship to the entire firefam (her existence by asking her love language, the christening, Eddie snapping at her once), will not speak a single word to the woman in question, will not once show up at the Diaz’s when she’s around, funny looks at Eddie at the first signs of relationship issues, literally a counterweight to every issue in their relationship (the skateboard, Chris’s initial reaction is running to him, he’s already part of the family), not a single word of encouragement forthright relationship, his only advise so far has been “dump her” or “ghost her”.

Eddie: snaps at Buck when he starts bringing up his exes, visibly angry when he’s bending over backwards for Abby, constantly poking Buck about living at his ghost girlfriend’s house, openly hostile with TK when she first films them, “your girlfriend isn’t helping”, bitterly jealous during the treasure hunt, invites them to dinner and puts on his bitchiest face and tells Buck to “move on”, volunteers to go with the girl he thought Buck was staring at, can’t even pretend to be sad over Buck’s big fight with Taylor

I just find it particularly hilarious that Buck is apparently all in and supportive but quietly doing small sabotage to Eddie’s love life by not actually supporting it and straight up suggesting he leaves them, vs Eddie who never once actually told Buck to leave these relationships but was rather transparent in his dislike for them and made no effort to hide that he didn’t approve.

[thisbuildinghasfeelings]

It's been a tough year in a lot of ways, but one thing I've been able to consistently count on to bring me joy is the incredible writing in this fandom! I feel like 2023 has been almost a golden age of Tarlos fic. With both the sheer quantity AND quality of fic, it has been a wonderful time to be a Tarlos fic reader! In celebration of this golden age, I wanted to share a list of some of the fic that brought me the most joy in the past year.

Of course, this is not a comprehensive list...as much as I may want to, I can't possibly read everything this fandom has to offer. There's still a lot to get to on my to-read list. And even from the fic I did read, I'm sure I'm forgetting some amazing ones. There's just SO MUCH. But here I have listed (alphabetic by author) some of the fic that most resonated with me the past year, fic that I still think about and reread, and fic that has taken up full time residence in my brain!

There are A LOT...so I'll be putting the list under the cut.

all my blood for the sweetness of his laugh by @alrightbuckaroo

A truly beautiful little fic about Carlos' feelings about TK's laugh. A bit of angst and a lot of love.

anger has told me her real name is grief by alrightbuckaroo

An excellent 4x17/4x18 fic that deals a lot with Carlos' grief and the journey he goes through in those two episodes.

my beatin' heart belongs to you by bartsy

A fic about Carlos' anxiety after the death of his father, manifested in his fears for the safety of his husband. This fic is so beautiful and very in character. I would love it so much if the show would go even a tiny bit in the direction of exploring Carlos' anxiety!

It Beats for You by @basilsunrise

A 4x04 coda, porn with feelings and bottom Carlos...truly, what more could I ask for?? Very hot and SO MANY feelings!

she has almost killed me with love for that boy by @beautifulhigh

Another 4x04 coda (there can never be enough) that's also a study of the different types of love, all of which Carlos has in his life.

How quickly we change overnight by @birdclowns

A pre-canon fic about TK and his relationship with Alex. I particularly love this kind of thing where we have so little concrete information in canon. It's a perfect opportunity for fic, and I really love this one. Alex could easily be handled as some horrible villain, but the way he's handled here is far more realistic and I think it makes my heart break for TK even more.

Even if the World Ends Tomorrow by @bonheur-cafe

A post-apocalypse AU that's a little terrifying but ultimately very hopeful. This is one that I kept thinking about long after I read it.

can i be close to you? by @catanisspicy

A 5+1 fic about TK asking Carlos if he'd still love him if he was a worm. A true delight! This is another fic I still think about all the time.

slowly, then all at once by catanisspicy

A fic about TK and Carlos loving each other, which is one of my favorite things in the world.

The Center of the Maze by @carlos-in-glasses

7 times TK and Carlos thought they would never get married and one time they actually did. This fic covers so many of the most significant moments of their relationship and is so very beautifully written. I think my favorite part is (predictably) the section related to the soulmates scene.

When Soulmates Swim by carlos-in-glasses

A wonderful AU where TK and Carlos get to know each other while swimming together. It's everything: hot, sweet, beautiful, poignant, and sometimes incredibly hilarious.

Release the Hand to Relax the Animal by carlos-in-glasses

A fic that's all about touch and the great sex, past and present, that TK and Carlos have had. A true masterpiece.

We Have Suffered Enough by @chicgeekgirl89

A 4x16 coda. Oh, the soulmates scene! I'm automatically going to love anything even remotely soulmates scene-adjacent, and this one is particularly beautiful.

Shiner by chicgeekgirl89

A 4x15 coda dealing with Carlos finding out about TK's black eye, which is something I desperately wanted to see on screen. I love the way it goes here. It's incredibly sweet.

Cold Feet by @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut

A lovely little fic that has Carlos feeling some big feelings about his soon-to-be husband.

When I'm Like This by cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut

An early season 1 Tarlos fic with a lot of angst and feelings, which is always one of my favorite things. This one is ridiculously hot, yet also filled with so much emotion and feelings and gorgeous writing. Just thinking about it makes me want to reread!

to build a home by @freneticfloetry

A Carlos character study, from pre-series through season 4. If there was ever a character I wanted to study, it's Carlos Reyes. And this fic is beautifully done, expertly exploring the complexities of his character and the gaps canon has left to be filled.

The Sting by @goodways

Shortly after they're married, Carlos gets involved in an FBI sting operation that requires him to go on a date and flirt with another man, something that TK is not thrilled about. This fic is at times funny, emotional, hot and sweet.

First night by goodways

The first time TK and Carlos have sex and all the feelings and attempted avoidance of feelings that comes with it. So many feelings!!!

Take my hand, take my whole life, too by @heartstringsduet

HANDS. What more could I ask for? This fic is an absolutely gorgeous exploration of TK and Carlos' intimacy across their whole lives together. I'm ready to tear up just thinking about it!

But most of it was beautiful by heartstringsduet

An at-home Tarlos honeymoon fic. I call a lot of fic on this list beautiful, but sometimes there's no better word. This fic is beautiful.

broken glass by @irispurpurea

A beautiful, heartbreaking exploration of Carlos' grief. It's all fragmented and non-linear, which only adds to how moving and powerful it is.

a little bit more by krissyloowhoo

An installment of a series in which TK and Carlos adopt a baby girl. This one features Carlos in love with what a good dad TK is.

Stand your brand of love by @ladytessa74

A Tarlos honeymoon fic written prior to the end of the season. This was a go-to reread for me in the weeks leading up to the finale. Even now, when it's no longer technically canon compliant, the emotions hit just as hard.

How I linger to admire by ladytessa74

This fic is pretty much my dream season 5. It has everything: Carlos solving his father's murder, TK and Carlos getting held at gunpoint, and Lou II saving the day. Several items on my wish list for season 5 were directly inspired by reading this fic.

Do it all over again by ladytessa74

TK tries for a do over of the proposal because he thinks Carlos deserves better, which leads to a series of funny, adorable and touching moments. The writing is beautiful, and it even inspired a cross stitch! I have many favorite things about Tessa's writing, but one of my very favorite things is the way she writes the intimacy and affection and touch between TK and Carlos. This fic is filled with some of my favorite examples of that.

All Your Colors Make Me Feel Alive by @lemonlyman-dotcom

This wonderful fic uses the music of Beck to explore moments in TK and Carlos' relationship. Angst and fluff: the best combination.

I'm Not A Fortress, But I Will Try To Protect You by lemonlyman-dotcom

TK and Marjan have a conversation in the wake of the events of 2x04. One of my favorite parts of Lemon's writing is the incredible amount of backstory detail, most particularly the friendship between TK and Marjan. There are hints of this in canon, but here it's beautifully developed and I love it so much.

Call Me If You Get Lost by lemonlyman-dotcom

TK and Carlos go for a romantic weekend while also looking out for a friend. This fic is a delight and so much fun!

Love From the Other Side by @lightningboltreader

Exes to lovers and only one bed...what could possibly be better?? I particularly enjoy the conversation between TK and Carlos that leads to their reconciliation.

We were in screaming color by @liminalmemories21

I was looking forward to this season 4 fic since before the season even started airing! I can imagine it must have been particularly difficult to write, from the ridiculous season 4 timeline to all the plotholes and inconsistencies that the Iris storyline and Carlos' sudden two sisters created, but it was done beautifully. It made me think about so many season 4 details and moments in different ways and ultimately led to an enhanced appreciation of the season.

I need you so much closer by @marjansmarwani

A 4x04 coda. This one focuses on all the many people who love Carlos. I always love to read about Carlos being loved!

where the empty space is a saving grace by @maxbegone

Carlos talks with Gwyn in the time before he's revived by TK and the narcan in 4x04. Beautiful and poignant.

etched in gold by maxbegone

A lovely little wedding moment where TK and Carlos get some alone time during the reception.

By Your Side by @never-blooms

The Reyes kitchen through the years. If there's anything that deserves more exploration, it's the Reyes family and all their complexities. This fic does an incredible job of this and is so beautifully written.

The Calling by @orchidscript

This is a fascinating and beautiful fic about TK using his experience with addiction to help people in the course of his job as a paramedic. It's something I would love so much for them to explore on the show!

Under A Star Spell by orchidscript

In this AU, Carlos practices folk magic. The fic itself is absolutely magical. One of the things I love about it is how different it is from pretty much every other Tarlos fic I've ever read.

Lost and Found by @paperstorm

A 4x04 coda (if there's one thing about me, it's that I love a 4x04 coda). I loved this episode so much but there was so much more I wanted, particularly to see what happened in the aftermath at the hospital, which is why this fic is so appreciated.

Ritual by paperstorm

An installment of Andie's spectacular Missing Moments series. I could easily have put every installment on this list, but I chose the one for 2x11, which is my favorite of the season 2 fics. I'm always a sucker for Carlos working through his feelings about his relationship with his parents!

The Firehouse by paperstorm

An incredible AU with TK and Carlos as childhood friends who meet again years later when Carlos is undercover and TK is living a life of crime. The angst in this one is spectacular, and the payoff is beautiful and earned and extraordinarily satisfying.

peace by @redshirt2

Carlos post-breakup. This little fic is heartbreaking and perfectly captures Carlos' desolate state of mind as he's left alone.

dream this night away by @reyesstrand

A pre-season 4 honeymoon fic where TK and Carlos end up in a motel after their flight is cancelled. A little bit of angst and a lot of love and tenderness.

to which there is no reply by reyesstrand

An absolutely gorgeous honeymoon fic, this time canon-compliant, that features Carlos struggling with his grief and being loved by his husband.

balancing act by reyesstrand

TK and Carlos sharing food and falling in love. What could possibly be better? This fic is so beautiful and it spans the entirety of their relationship. An incredible achievement and a true gift to readers!

the strong will never fall by @rmd-writes

Another 4x04 coda (I truly can never get enough). This one is incredibly tender and emotional.

shine some light on my day by @rosedavid

A sweet, fluffy, gentle fic about TK and Carlos waking up and getting ready for the day together. Domestic fluff at its finest!

and salt the earth behind you by @safeashousespdf

TK brings Carlos to New York 6 months after Gwyn's death and TK grapples with the ways things have changed and the ways he has changed. This fic is incredibly powerful. I read it months ago but I still think about it.

you and me, forevermore by @strandnreyes

A gorgeous wedding coda that made me cry multiple times.

Come what may, I'll still stay by strandnreyes

Carlos struggles with his work-life balance when he becomes a detective. It gets worse and worse until he makes a pretty big mistake that shows him just how bad things have gotten. Lots of angst, but also lots of happiness by the end and so much love permeating through every bit of it. This was one of the THE fics of the year for me and it still lives rent free in my brain!

no rules in breakable heaven by strandnreyes

An AU where Carlos takes a job as a private chef in the Hamptons for TK's family. Jen wrote so many incredible AUs this year, but this one was my favorite. Just the right amount of angst with a proportionately happy ending! And the descriptions of the food Carlos was preparing always made me very hungry.

As long as it's with you by @tailoredshirt

TK and Carlos spend their first Valentine's Day as husbands in the ER, but it's nothing too serious. This fic is mostly soft and sweet. I still think about it all the time, especially the little gestures and affectionate touches between them. It's a lovely little fic that's guaranteed to make you smile.

tell me how by @theghostofashton

Carlos and his grief leading up to the wedding. Beautiful and heartbreaking. I loved this so much.

Back to You and Me by @three-drink-amy

A lovely 4x16 coda. In celebration of finding out that TK doesn't have to worry about Huntington's, TK and Carlos go back to the honky tonk where it all began!

The Weight of Grief by @wandering-night19

This is an absolutely riveting fic that has TK near-death in a coma (again). It's poignant and heartbreaking. One scene in particular in the final chapter makes me want to cry just thinking about it! Some chapters deal with Andrea and Gabriel backstory, which eventually links up to the ongoing story in the present. The whole thing is so well written and beautifully constructed.

living at the centre of a wound still fresh by @welcometololaland

A heartbreaking, beautiful masterpiece of a fic. Carlos struggles with his grief on their honeymoon, but TK is there to help him through. Just thinking about this one makes me want to cry...and also reread!

a long time ago (we used to be friends) by welcometololaland

A masterpiece of an AU, exes to lovers with private investigator Carlos and wrongly accused of murder TK. They work together to clear TK's name and come back together in a beautiful way.

[paperstorm]

thank you for the tags @carlos-in-glasses @heartstringsduet @nancygillianmvp @bonheur-cafe and @sznofthesticks! You're queued :)

-

TK strips methodically once the door is closed behind him and turns the water on. He stares at himself in the mirror and feels as if he’s looking at an ancient portrait of a distant relative instead – there’s some resemblance in the likeness that stares back at him with slightly parted lips and drooping features but there’s a haunted, hollow look behind his eyes and it doesn’t look like the reflection he used to recognize. He looks old and tired, dull like a flickering lightbulb on its last legs, worn out and flat like an overused tire with no treads left to speak of.

It isn’t the first time he’s seen such an empty look on his own face, it’s just the first time in a very long while. TK’s put so many things behind him, anchored them firmly in his past and slammed a door of steel and iron behind them so they can’t follow them into his new life. The only person here who knows the extent of his failures is his dad, and Owen rarely mentions it anymore. TK gave Carlos the middle school book report version but not more than that, and Carlos has never asked for further explanation. TK feels like a gate has been lifted and the ghosts that haunt his past are suddenly swirling around him, and maybe, he thinks as he balls his hands into fists and tries to shatter the mirror with his mind so he doesn’t have to face himself anymore, the gate was made of her.

Tk turns away from it. He steps into the shower, lathering soap into a dark blue bath puff until it’s bubbly and trying to scrub the spiders off his skin. They used to be such a familiar presence. Almost comforting, because they were predictable. It took TK so long and so much work to get rid of them.

Twice, he managed it. Twice he managed to pick himself up and bleed the poison from his system and rebuild. After he lost Carlos, TK’d spent a week terrified that they might come back and he might not be strong enough to resist them, or scrub himself clean a third time afterward. They never did and he was proud of that, even as he drowned in the soul-deep sorrow of lost love. But this is worse than that. Carlos was gone, but he wasn’t gone. The possibility of reconciliation was always floating in the distance, and TK could have reached for it sooner if his pride hadn’t set up so many roadblocks. This isn’t the same. He could reach for his mom but he would be reaching into a void that he won’t be given permission to enter. She didn’t come with him to California but she could have. She didn’t follow them permanently to Texas but she could have. TK can’t follow her wherever she’s gone to this time.

It strikes him as he roughly kneads shampoo into his hair that he’s already forgotten what her laughter sounds like. He can’t conjure the sound of it in his imagination, as much as he tries. He bites the inside of his cheek until he tastes blood and then spits it down the drain, watching as the water pooling around his feet is pink for a few seconds before it runs clear.

Tags under the cut

Tagging @theghostofashton @birdclowns @reyesstrand @strandnreyes @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut

@actual-sleeping-beauty @thisbuildinghasfeelings @herefortarlos @tailoredshirt @goodways

@alrightbuckaroo @lightningboltreader @freneticfloetry @mooshkat @liminalmemories21

@chaotictarlos @lemonlyman-dotcom @whatsintheboxmh @inkweedandlizards @reasonandfaithinharmony

@never-blooms @sanjuwrites @orchidscript @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad

@jesuisici33 @kiwichaeng @fallout-mars @honeybee-taskforce @vineofroses

@fitzherbertssmolder @safeashousespdf @eclectic-sassycoweyes @laelipoo

[alrightbuckaroo]

Happy Sunday, everyone! So the Time Loop AU has accidentally sort of become a bit of a character study as well (though it's a time loop before anything else), so here's a little Carlos lore behind that pale green sweater. Which, funnily enough, coincidentally goes with the color scheme of yesterday's mood board! 💚

Luisa told him pale green meant peace, harmony, new beginnings and new life. ‘Spring in a Bottle’ is what his dad once called it when he walked by their flashcards. For some reason, that was the symbolism that always stuck to him like glue.

When Carlos turned 16, he was hopelessly love in Javier Barrera and lying to himself about it. After coming home from a particularly rough day at school, his mom asked him if wanted to paint his room and if so, what color.

He took a beat to think about how he had been feeling. How his body had been changing, how his heart kept breaking and how he wanted things to start anew. Eventually, a rickety voice shaken by the hands of puberty answered with, “Pale green.”

After taking a second to dry from the memories that washed over him, Carlos slipped on the pale green sweater with ease. Pale green once found a way to breathe new life into him, maybe it could do the same for TK.

Thanks for the tags:

Thanks for the tags @welcometololaland, @rmd-writes, @heartstringsduet, @strandnreyes, @orchidscript

and @sznofthesticks, @reyesstrand, @carlos-in-glasses,

No pressure tagging:

@herefortarlos, @honeybee-taskforce, @lightningboltreader

@lemonlyman-dotcom, @vineofroses, @nancygillianmvp, @never-blooms, @bonheur-cafe

@basilsunrise, @carlos-tk, @freneticfloetry, @paperstorm, @theghostofashton

@thebumblecee, @your-catfish-friend, @ladytessa74, @safeaswrites, @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut

and here's an open tag :)

[carlos-in-glasses]

Thank you for the tag @three-drink-amy ! Happy Wednesday! This week in BJ Fic, let's experience retractile testicles with Tarlos 🧡:

“Baby– baby–” TK pleads, “I can’t– I can’t– last–” he buckles, his mouth colliding with Carlos’ left shoulder. He bites him hard as he comes and Carlos yells at the surprise of the sting. “Sorry,” TK sighs into his skin, abuzz and jittering as he processes the shocking intensity of the grind.

“Oh fuck. My ball’s gone.”

“What?”

“My right ball. It’s gone up.”

Carlos turns around as TK shifts into a kneeling stance, one leg either side of Carlos’ waist. His come drips onto Carlos’ pecs as he gently coaxes his right ball out from where it has receded into his groin.

“Need a hand?” Carlos asks with a chuckle.

“No thank you.”

This happens to TK sometimes when he comes hard. Carlos can’t help but feel pride, although TK hates it. Most memorably, once when he was sixteen, his ball didn’t come back down again. He confessed to Owen and they took a father-son trip to the ER, where unfortunately TK was seen to by a hot male nurse. TK told Carlos the story years ago, the first time it occurred after sex between them. He relayed it like it was the worst moment of his whole life, even though he’d arguably been through a lot worse. Balls are just really precious.

“God damn what a sexy sight this must be,” TK clucks as his right testicle obediently starts to drop by way of him pressing his hand back and forth against the valley connecting crotch and leg.

“I like how you’re doing it right above me so I can see every detail,” Carlos laughs.

“I like to take care of it immediately.”

Carlos reaches between TK’s legs to welcome the adventuring ball back into the game, cupping it softly in the crook of his pointer finger. “How about I take care of you now? Bath before bed?”

TK leans down to kiss him, smiling as he goes.

Open tag and tags below:

@cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @lemonlyman-dotcom @heartstringsduet @paperstorm @strandnreyes @reyesstrand @lightningboltreader @goodways @bonheur-cafe @noxsoulmate @ladytessa74 @chaotictarlos @chicgeekgirl89 @carlos-tk @louis-ii-reyes-strand @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad @orchidscript @liminalmemories21 @theghostofashton @welcometololaland @herefortarlos @rmd-writes @thisbuildinghasfeelings @alrightbuckaroo @whatsintheboxmh @freneticfloetry @never-blooms @literateowl @sznofthesticks @honeybee-taskforce @vineofroses @sugdenlovesdingle @wandering-night19 @sanjuwrites @kiwichaeng @fallout-mars - If you want to share/haven't already! No pressure ever! ❤️🩷🧡💛💚💙🩵💜

[satomatto]

. //TK DAYS | NAOYA ZEN'IN.

cw: femdom; bondage; supposedly non-con/dub-con towards the end; Naoya is a bastard and that says it all.

tw: control/submission; brat taming; orgasm control; dry orgasm; semi-public; anal sex; is prostate massage with an armature part of your plans, dear friends? now yes; humiliation; binding; it can be a little incoherent in places; facesitting; foot fetish (a little?); Naoya is a bastard x2.

wc: 3.2k

Your fingers gently run over the rough rope. The quiet, sweet breathing right next to you is relaxing. The pretty face is surprisingly calm. A little off-putting. And after all, this guy is cute only when he's asleep - the muscles of his face are soft and relaxed, and his mouth isn't spewing tons of nasty, barbed words that spread through you like poison.

The airy lace shirt, you know that silly pink thing makes him drool. He'd prefer to fuck you without taking it off and then jerk you off for weeks, clutching it in his fist and reaching for it with every fiber of his worthless soul until the smell wears off.

It's truly disgusting to watch it from behind the screen. While he's sure you still don't suspect a thing. Oh yeah, sure, the bastard moans loud and high while he does it - it's impossible not to realize what's going on during these 'meditation' sessions in the back room of the clan mansion. It's worth giving him credit, he's actually more focused afterward. As befits a worthy Zenin heir.

And, as befits a worthy bride of a Zenin heir, you're doing a pretty good job of keeping him in line. After you came into his life and followed him around, he became much more balanced, which is surprising to everyone. You've heard a few thank yous from the servants. You know, the assistant Zenin personal chef adores you. And your personal maid, who was begging to be transferred somewhere - even demoted, expecting you to treat her like Naoya - is now willing to die for this place.

Good food is never too much to ask for, though, is it? And always clean clothes and royal-level service at the snap of your fingers comes in handy most of the time, too. Besides, access to the gossip going around between the clans and in this cursed place comes in handy too.

For example, that's how you found out that Naoya has a small altar in his room dedicated to a man named Toji. Fushiguro was once a Zenin, and after a couple fateful interactions, little Naoya made him his ideal - in fact, even without going into details, you find the man worthy of respect, but Naoya… He's always been the odd one. Anyway, since this place was never built on such high feelings, like a respect, it's a sin not to take advantage of another of his weaknesses - that's the extra pressure points, right?

But, uh, can't you just throw away all your trump cards? Nope, and that's the only reason you're not talking right now. Yes, sometimes it's worth it to stick your tongue up your ass to enjoy watching others bury their heads in the sand, luckily for you, Naoya wasn't good at shutting up in time, but isn't that more fun?

Looking at him makes you think about so many things and it does make you want to try to mess with him in much more subtle ways, but at the moment you should stick to your plan. It's too early to cross the line. Boundaries need to be pushed first, then broken.

You know, it's pretty sweet. What a blatant variety - the sheer volume of curses he heaps on you (the only thing his generosity shows, merit note) while his cock desperately jerks and leaking thick, translucent pre-ejaculate profusely. He's already soiled his expensive clothes and is now whimpering at your feet like some dirty dog.

"Doesn't your pretty mouth know how to do anything else?" you mock him. He'd said the same thing to you once, one of your first nights, and you hadn't had much experience in bed, either, since most of your interactions had been limited to fingering and the porn the maid had shown you.

It's not something a noble lady can do, but in the end, you had to - after you were put up as collateral, you had to gain the trust of the heir.

So all your family's debts were forgotten as a wedding present. Still, thanks to this performance, you remain relatively free, so it's not like you regret what you've done.

Especially because the heir to the clan himself turned out to be such a whore.

The soft slippers you usually wear - you wish you'd changed them for high-heeled shoes. Preferably with a platform, the kind that would smear that pretty face on the garden tiles where he's lying tied up and helpless.

With a sharp tug on the ropes, you struggle to get this carcass to sit up and turn around, safely ignoring his protests.

Still, he should be quieter. Just because you dragged him to an abandoned, albeit neat barn, doesn't mean he can yell as usual and go unnoticed.

What a shame for the heir to the clan to cry out for help while in such a humiliating position. He knows how quickly rumors spread, and his frankly vile nature doesn't help his position as a victim. He'll be laughed at - there's no other way to put it!

Either way, he shuts up pretty quickly when your foot rests against his lips. Maybe fuzzy slippers really weren't the best choice - he'll choke on it. Fine, though, because in one elegant motion, you drop the slipper, which lands quite successfully nearby.

You flirt with his lips one last time. Well, he must not be ready for that yet.

So, you gently slide your foot lower, rubbing your fingertips through his clothes.

The very next second, you step on, placing your foot flat and causing him to topple backwards, hitting his head painfully on the wooden bench behind him. Watch as the idiot shakes his hips, looking for a better footing to keep from falling over.

The way he looks at you in that moment is priceless. There's so much helplessness in that fleeting contact that is immediately replaced by a contrived coldness afterward. He doesn't like restrictions. Also, he's never let you be on top, eh, complexes, complexes… Well, you'll have a blast now.

What are you thinking about, running your little foot over his cock? Not that you're going to get dirty in it too. And this pedicure was only recently done… But it's too late to back out.

Pretty warm for late summer, isn't it? The way Naoya's moans resonate in your crotch makes you redouble your efforts. Your position isn't very stable, especially because of the way he wiggles his hips to the beat, letting out another dirty moan, followed immediately by a filthy curse in a language you don't know. Well, at least it sounded vicious enough….

How nice - Naoya manages to come to his senses again and gets into that prickly shell again, spitting out another insult in your direction. He's starting to get repetitive in them. It seems even this rambunctious boy has limits; or he's just lost the ability to think clearly already, which is just as likely.

How long do you think it will take for him to soil himself in his own cum, like the dirty dog that he is? Ah, probably quite a while.

Just when you think about it, his pathetic cock begins to throb more tangibly under your leg, like a butterfly trapped in a cage (too elegant a comparison), and alas he's still moaning in a way that so caresses your ears, signaling that he's really close. But, are you going to give him that opportunity? What a freaking pump jump….

Losing your balance a little, your foot slides down, landing right on his balls. He's a big enough boy to be able to support some of your weight, ignore those frustrated-painful moans coming from this pile of incoherent shit. He's looking at you with a pitying stare, out of his clouded eye sockets. He's gonna cry, that poor guy!

At first you thought you'd hurt him somehow, but when you looked down, you saw a charming picture. This one was whining not because he was in discomfort - rather the opposite, he was literally dripping with it.

Ah, yes, that pissy little masochist.

Now you're really wondering what exactly makes him so obsessed with his training. Oh, maybe he even have played with his juicy ass before… In fact, you don't really care if he's had experience. After all, you're always happy to give people an unforgettable time!

The light satin pouch swinging on the delicate silk cord tied around your hips opened to let your delicate fingers in.

You've been planning to use it on him for a while now.

Nice wavy texture, with a very successful seal at the end, still with a comfortable, curved handle - isn't it fabulous? The material is wood. This was hard to find - such good work…. You could tell you were very pleased with your find. Well, it's time to use it on this brat, he's been so quiet, it's almost boring.

As soon as his eyes meet yours, he once again makes a wry face and venomously spouts how disgusted he is to be here, once again demanding to be untied in order to teach you some kind of lesson.

You'd think you'd be that stupid. It's not like he'd think of anything better than just making you taste your own medicine. Though you're both good at that - spitting at each other from the same angle until one of you comes up with something new, and so on and so forth. Kind of ironic.

His cock drooped and now he was only squinting somewhere through you. You didn't like the fact that he was distracted, but for the sake of a brighter future, you could be patient for a while, couldn't you?

Of course, it didn't make you feel any better to listen to the asshole's beautiful, sweet, exceptionally flattering speeches. Your soft, condescending smile won't waver - you've spent so much time perfecting it in the mirror that nothing can shake it now. Yeah, you've definitely been preparing for something like this.

Maybe not specifically for this day - you didn't even expect it to go so smoothly. Maybe our omniscient and ready for anything heir is so used to you that he doesn't even pay attention to your cursed energy anymore? You've heard that everyone has it, but even so, you can't control it. That's sad, because then you'd have so many new opportunities. And danger.

But that makes it even more interesting.

It's also funny that despite all his brave speeches, the proud Zenin still hasn't used his cursed technique that he bragged so much about. Maybe the ropes are in his way, but it's highly doubtful - the most ordinary untreated harnesses, taken a couple of days ago from the same shed.

That leaves only one possibility: he's actually enjoying it, or in other words, getting a real high, isn't he?

Even watching Naoya deal with such a pathetic situation, covered in your juices, his cock leaking more and more, even through the erection ring you so thoughtfully put on, right after he started moaning too loudly, even after your warning. Not that he was a rabbit in bed, despite the fact that he often finished things earlier than you would have liked, he was ready to go for another round almost immediately - he clearly lacked stamina, because he would also finish after a couple of slimy moans and a couple minutes of panting whimpering. You should teach him how to fuck, dear.

Yes, definitely - spread his legs even wider, tying another knot behind his back as he bites his own lips, holding back a heaving moan. He's ready to burst from the fact that you're finally coming down on his cock. The freshly cut grass is actually quite unpleasantly prickly. However, it smells good. Unlike this--

All right, fine, in fact, the master of water procedures knows how to give himself a good bath - with all those silly rituals, he most often emerges from the ofuro with a very pleasant, lingering smell of green tea and honey, among a whole bunch of disparate but surprisingly well-blended scents, even the smell of lavender slips in.

However, even all this splendor wears off after a week of regular training and other delights of a sorcerer's life. And this man is clearly not going to bother with even a simple shower once every three days, so is it worth talking about how he usually smells? Especially when you have to give him oral.

You just can't stand it, even though Naoya himself adopts a cute, wrinkled expression on your face as he stretches your mouth and nips at your throat, trying to get you to take him even deeper. Every time, he feels obligated to fuck you the hardest he can so that the next day you'll wrinkle your nose every time you need to open your mouth, even if he doesn't enjoy it himself. He just likes to see you in pain.

He may know more about clan politics than you do, but you're clearly a bit more educated than someone who spends most of his time as an adult in some sort of training (and even that is questionable now).

He stopped in that regard as soon as he turned sixteen, yes, his manners aren't bad, but still, they leave a lot to be desired, especially compared to you. Well, your former educational institution had high standards.

At the very least, you still have the support of your family and you're not his wife yet, and who's to say they have pride and would rather be up to their ears in bloody debt than let their precious eldest daughter be humiliated into full marriage.

He can't just beat you up, and his bullshit isn't the least bit intimidating, at least not yet, not once, after his next verbal diarrhea, has he ever raised a hand to you. You highly doubt his upbringing played into that. He's not a silent biter.

You pull your panties down to your ankles and pull them off, shoving them deeper into his mouth. So they don't fall out. It would be better to shove them down from your leg for security, but you're more focused now on the idea of how hard his eyes will roll. Will you be able to make him cry? There's no time to waste, because the asshole is starting to realize something - the last thing you need is for him to start squirming.

The smooth wood slides easily between your labia, collecting your natural lubrication. Yes, it may be not enough, even over the top, especially for someone who has never tried anything like this before. But, somehow, you don't care. Like he once did.

You can still remind him of the time that bastard brazenly spit in your crotch and ignoring your willingness to do it, he put it all the way in, holding your arms above your head with a steely grip.

Oh, and afterward he was so complimentary about the way your walls clenched around him that you'd think he actually liked it, pfft. You remember perfectly well how hard it was for him to move.

Here, even Naoya, the speed himself, somehow lasted longer than five minutes, all the while panting and twitching every time you clamped down because of the unpleasant sensations down there, intentionally or not. After that, he left in unhappy, snorting unhappily.

Oh, you'd forgotten how beautiful the moments were when he was silent. As you shifted him into a horizontal position, you realized that you hadn't really thought about picking up more proper knots.

It's going to be a little uncomfortable, but it's too late to back out - not when you've already done it all. You want to get to the end, and Naoya will to remember this day.

As you thought about how to push the toy in, you were totally oblivious to Naoya. You might have been a little lost in your own thoughts, but without even realizing it, you were playing with your pussy, gently collecting your juices on the toy. Well, there was nowhere to get lube anyway (and even though initially you wanted to limit yourself to spit, such a vulnerable view could not help but inspire lustful thoughts).

The guy below was literally seething, and why wouldn't he be? Hovering right over him, you were literally giving him the VIP-seats to this voyeur.

It's amazing how you didn't think of that before. He was scrutinizing your curves so closely that you couldn't even think about the admiration your body aroused in him - only senseless lust could move him, of course. Such a graceful figure, skillful hands… Ah, no wonder he likes to watch you so much - to tell you the truth, you'd do the same if you were him.

The moans coming out through his gag were music to your ears. Couldn't have been more charming.

Well, it's time for dessert. You squat down, getting comfortable on his chest and playfully wiggling your hips, teasing him even more, you spread his legs. He still doesn't understand that you want to give him the slip - poor guy. so naive… Locking the knots so that he can't move the hips at the worst possible moment, flattening your head like a watermelon, you return to his crotch.

Gently, just touching the overexcited, sensitive cock, you gently move lower and lower, smearing your secretions all over his ass. He seems to start to realize what's going on - through the half-drunk fog of arousal. he starts to move his hips indignantly, really only helping you to push the dildo into his anus.

A light flick on his engorged cock is enough to make him shriek and hastily shut up in a rag. Literally.

The ribbed walls of the wooden dildo graze his entrance with startling frequency. You might not be too rough on him, it's not to your advantage - that's an easier way to phrase it.

After a couple of thrusts, you get the feeling that he has a vacuum cleaner in his ass, otherwise how then did he create such a powerful pump? Yeah, there are more and more questions to those training sessions, perhaps you should attend one sometime…..

He's wriggling around like some kind of worm. Almost pathetic, but what can you do - you're already tired of it. Perhaps it's time to finish it?

Accelerating your thrusts to the point where your hand starts to go numb, suddenly, stopping, you grab his flushed cock. It feels swollen, as do his balls.

It must be painful? Not being able to get free for so long.

You probably should have tortured him a little longer, made him walk with the ring long enough for him to come crawling back to you, but you've had enough of that already. Nerves are getting the better of you, aren't it?

Such tension - ah, his whole body shakes and arches as you squeeze him lightly at the base.

The muffled click of the lock on the ring sends a wave of satisfaction through your body. Zenin is so sensitive right now, he could cum from your breath-… And that's something you should have thought about a little earlier. Or at least realize how hard it's been on him all this time. Probably should have brought tissues, though… What do you need them for when you have such an adorable mouth around? Should you get him to clean you? Oh, no, you've got a better idea.

Sliding closer to his face, still wiggling your hips and never stopping generously jerking him off, you position your ass roughly where his mouth is. From the sounds of it, the heir managed to spit out your makeshift gag the moment you sat on him. Come on, you're not that heavy, but apparently it was just too much for some people - heavy breathlessness is a testament to that.

At first you thought he wouldn't have thought of it on his own, because he'd never been brilliantly intelligent - brazen, maybe, but now that his brains were leaking out through his cock (and still soaking into his clothes), he was unable to form the simplest coherent sentence, making only scraps of sounds that should be… Words?

However, his tongue was between your legs pretty quickly, desperately playing with your entrance and engaging your clit. Maybe you cost each other, finally deciding to pull the dildo out of his ass, with a distinctive pop, slowly pulling out and yanking sharply when there were only millimeters left; you come to the point where you can't reuse it.

Not wanting to put the dirty toy away in that lovely pouch, you toss it into the nearest bushes, getting comfortable on the guy's face beneath you. As far as you can remember, this part of the garden will barely be reached by Friday, so you have plenty of time.

Ah, turns out this prick is really good at this. Perhaps you shouldn't have underestimated him and his complaints about you aren't so unfounded? But, he hasn't given you a hint of that until now, so… It's not enough to have talent - you have to know how to use it.

And now you've found the perfect use for it.

Even though it's a little selfish, you ignore his whimpering - on edge, you decide that a slight asphyxiation wouldn't hurt him. After all, he's only shown his best feelings for pain before.

With a loud groan, you move all over the surface available to you, rubbing your pussy all over his face, and finally soiling him with your juices, you move up and get, by your own admission, the best look on his face today.

All wet, slimy stuff, greedily gulping air with his mouth like a beached fish, tongue out and eyes rolled back in delight. His cock seems to twitch again, but this time nothing comes out of it - the guy's body shakes with spasms and he struggles desperately on the ground, trying in vain to get out of the ropes and uncomfortable position.

To think what you've driven him to - what a bad girl, eh! And exactly the same thinks the unfortunate man who came out of that damned house at such a late hour…

[zitasempri]

seven sentence sunday

thank you for the tag @sznofthesticks <3 i’ve put off writing the au just so i could focus on what i like to call “carlos/tk and the reyes ranch”

“Can you just take the photos and put them somewhere safe?” Carlos asks, voice a little wobbly. He feels that burning in the back of his eyes, that lump in his throat well up. His father has always been this monolith, this everlasting presence— even when he wasn’t in Carlos’ life. Over the months that followed after Gabriel’s death, Carlos quickly discovered that grief is like a shadow that you have to nurture; it wakes up with you in the morning and stays with you until you close your eyes.

“Of course,” TK says, watching as Carlos screws his eyes shut, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I’ll do anything for you, ishi.”

TK then does as Carlos says, placing the box onto the coffee table and carefully placing the photo albums back inside. He can feel Carlos’ eyes burning a hole into him, and the thought makes him feel like he’s choking on a certain sadness that he can’t quite name, but TK knows that he feels it, too. Once he’s got everything packed up, he settles back onto the couch.

“Is there anything else you need?” TK murmurs, noticing Carlos’ downcast expression. The exhaustion seems to be worse, he thinks, running his fingers over the bags underneath Carlos’ eyes. And yet, he’s still as beautiful as he was that night in the rain, still as beautiful as he was that night under a sky that bled green and blue— still as beautiful as he was when they shared vows underneath a blanket of love. “A nap, maybe? I could rub your back until you fall asleep.”

Carlos makes a small, noncommittal noise in the back of his throat, a low hum as he knocks their heads together. He closes his eyes for a moment, and is met with flashes of memories that seem to never leave him— his father’s turquoise ring on his finger, standing out against the skin, the endless well of grief that could drown him if he opened up, the memories of being underneath a legacy that could choke him alive, if he let it. He thinks of his father’s smile, his warm brown eyes. And he’s suddenly back on the other end of that phone call, on that terrible night, and—

“Te amo,” TK whispers, and Carlos’ eyes snap open.

tagging: @lemonlyman-dotcom, @reyesstrand (truly didn’t realize you already posted when i made this post of mine lmao), @carlos-tk !

[cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut]

Thanks to @carlos-in-glasses @jesuisici33 @birdclowns @heartstringsduet @strandnreyes @alrightbuckaroo @bonheur-cafe @paperstorm @ambiguouspenny @louis-ii-reyes-strand for the tags! It’s nice to get stuck into something new. The main warnings here are grief, loss of a parent, description of injury and death. Just another Wednesday over here 🫣

In some ways, losing his mother is like falling through the ice all over again. In the distant back of his mind, part of him had known it might happen, that untimely, terrible things are possible. He knew it like he knows the taste of sharp air when a scene takes a turn for the worse, the breathless, cutting moment when a patient slips too far out of his reach. He knew it like the feeling of ribs cracking under his hands – strong arms aching, pale fingers interlocked – as he commands life back into a stranger’s long motionless body. These things happen, yet they feel abstract all the same. He knew the ground could have given way beneath him as he crawled on his belly over the ice, adrenaline shielding him from the cold at first. He knew it could have all gone wrong.

But he reaches every call feeling certain that they’ll save someone, and although he’d understood the nature of winter and the cruelties of ice water, he’d reached for that boy with a naive surety that he was safe from the clutches of the thing that was killing him. Patients die, ice cracks and splinters and plunges grown bodies under. These things happen, but they’d never happened to him. The knowledge of every maybe was nothing more than fleeting shadows in his mind – ghosts, long before his mother was one.

But the ice gave way.

His mother hit her head on the sidewalk.

TK almost drowned, almost died, and his mother bled out over concrete no one had paid much thought to until that moment. Someone had to hook TK’s body up to the ventilator once he’d been dragged out of the water, connect him to all those wires and machines just to keep his lungs working. And someone had to wash his mother’s blood from the concrete, call Enzo away from work.

All these things that were always possibilities, but from which TK had naively felt protected, immune. A lot of paramedics get badly hurt in the field. A lot of people lose their mother before they’re twenty-nine.

He guesses he’d just never realised that these things happen ever actually meant they could happen to him, that when his father reminded him there’s no guarantees in this life, for anybody, not only did that apply to TK, but his mother – who was beautiful; kind; strong willed; enthusiastic about Chinese food and cute home decor and the very best fruit teas – was included too.

And now TK’s immune system is shot to shit, and his mother has been gone for three days

Apologies if you’ve done this already as it’s late in the day, but some no pressure tags are below! Plus an Open Tag for anyone who wants to join in!

@welcometololaland @redshirt2 @tailoredshirt @taralaurel @sugdenlovesdingle @goodways @theghostofashton @thebumblecee @lightningboltreader @ladytessa74 @lemonlyman-dotcom @basilsunrise @rosedavid @reasonandfaithinharmony @rmd-writes @reyesstrand @three-drink-amy @thisbuildinghasfeelings @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad @inkweedandlizards @detective-giggles @rosedavid @wandering-night19 @wtfuckevenknows @orchidscript @sznofthesticks

[strandnreyes]

thanks @welcometololaland @three-drink-amy @rmd-writes <3 cabin fic has crossed 20k. let me not do anything more than double that

When Carlos’ hand sneaks up the back of TK’s shirt, TK pulls back and murmurs, “Thought you weren’t trying to start something.”

Carlos bats his eyes open and finds TK looking back. The room is dark, but his eyes are bright and they’re breathtakingly beautiful this up close.

“I’m not,” Carlos defends, though he keeps his palm flat against TK’s back. After a moment, he starts trailing his fingers up and down his spine.

TK hums and then his eyes fall shut as he tips his head forward again. He steals a few more quick kisses, their lips sliding together, and then he leans back more permanently. He doesn’t go far, but he makes enough space for his arm to curl up between their chests. His fingers come to trail along Carlos’ chin and Carlos lets himself be loved.

“Today was fun,” TK says quietly and Carlos nods. “Did you have a good day?”

“I had fun,” Carlos agrees. Despite the weirdness that came up at times, he doesn’t remember the last time he spent the whole day just hanging out with friends and doing things for pleasure.

“Even if we can’t agree on how Uno should be played.”

“TK,” Carlos laughs quietly and TK stretches up to kiss Carlos once more.

“That might be a problem. We’re gonna live in a divided household.”

Carlos is still smiling, but he shakes his head fondly. “I love you.”

TK settles, his cheek becoming more pressed against the pillow and his body growing loose under Carlos’ touch. “Love you.”

Carlos cranes his neck to press a prolonged kiss to TK’s forehead and as he lays his head back down, TK catches his chin with his thumb and pointer finger.

“I like hanging out with you,” TK whispers, like it’s a secret he’s been harboring. “Swimming and volleyball and card games... everything’s always more fun with you.”

Carlos’ heart flutters and he flattens TK to the mattress, caging his head with his arms and kissing him deeply. TK’s eyes are gleeful when he pulls back and the lip Carlos just kissed is now pulled between his teeth.

“My whole life is a lot more fun with you,” Carlos confesses.

tagging @reyesstrand @theghostofashton @tailoredshirt @fitzherbertssmolder @freneticfloetry @alrightbuckaroo @ambiguouspenny @paperstorm @liminalmemories21 @heartstringsduet @herefortarlos @tellmegoodbye @carlos-in-glasses @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @bonheur-cafe @basilsunrise @wandering-night19 @orchidscript @carlos-tk @whatsintheboxmh + open tag!

[paperstorm]

Carlos definitely told TK to hop on and TK hold on like a baby koala and Carlos carried him to bed and sat against the headboard with TK wrapped around him with his face buried in Carlos’ neck and just breathing each other and letting their scent mingle after that I believe Carlos helped TK bathe just like he said and they fell asleep holding hand with their foreheads touching

"I'm getting snot on your shirt," TK mumbles.

"It needed to be washed anyway," Carlos replies. He rubs TK's back slowly, palm sliding methodically up and down over the soft cotton of his hoodie.

TK sniffs, and Carlos tightens his arms around him. He's scared, too. It's an atomic bomb of bad news, and he's had far less time to process it than TK has. The idea of losing him has always terrified Carlos, no matter how it might happen, but this way seems particularly awful. Carlos isn't going to lie to TK and say he isn't scared. But they will tackle it together, like they'll tackle everything for the rest of their lives. Of that, Carlos is sure.

"I love you so much," he whispers.

TK makes a soft, hurt noise and buries his face more completely into Carlos's neck, tears leaving his skin damp.

"I love you, too," TK whispers back. "I didn't mean it. What I said before. Please don't leave me."

"Never," Carlos promises him. "Never ever, baby. You're mine."

TK nods.

Carlos kisses his cheek, leaning out of the hug so he can see TK's face. It's still red and swollen, streaked with tears, his eyes pink-rimmed and sad. Carlos takes his cheeks into his hands, using his thumbs to wipe some of the moisture away.

"Let's have a shower," Carlos suggests, because he can't let them sit here marinating in fear and heartbreak any longer. He's never been good at being still, he has to do something. "I'm all gross from work."

"You're not gross, you're perfect," TK argues, and for just a moment that makes him cry harder.

"Hey," Carlos murmurs to him, ducking down and not letting TK look away from him. He tracks his eyes, smiling at him when TK's gaze meets his.

"What?" TK asks.

"You are beautiful. And funny, and brave, and brilliant. You mean everything to me. Everything about you is my favorite thing. And you're all mine, okay? Forever."

TK sniffs again and nods. "Okay."

"Let's have a shower."

"You really do wanna bathe me, huh?" TK asks, finally cracking a smile through his tears.

Carlos brushes a few more tears off his cheek and then kisses his heated skin. "Yeah. I really do. You had an awful day. And then sat here for hours waiting for me. Let me take care of you."

TK nods. He stands when Carlos does, letting Carlos put an arm around his shoulders and give him a squeeze as they make their way toward the bathroom.

Carlos sits TK on the closed lid of the toilet. He starts the shower, angling the nozzle away from the door so water doesn't splash onto the tiled floor. TK blows his nose noisily, hiccupping once or twice and looking up at Carlos. He seems so small right now, the bright light of him so diminished, and Carlos likes him small sometimes, but not like this.

He unbuttons his own shirt, letting it fall off his shoulders and to the floor. When he steps closer, TK lifts his arms up like a little kid waiting to be undressed and Carlos chuckles fondly. He bends down, pushing up the hem of the maroon hoodie and getting it off over TK's head.

Carlos can't help leaning in further and pressing a kiss to TK's lips. TK hums softly into it, and stands when Carlos pulls gently at his hand. He undresses them both the rest of the way and then helps TK into the shower, taking only a moment to drink in the stunning sight of him. TK is the most beautiful thing he's ever seen, and despite the heaviness of this moment, Carlos is so excited to spend the rest of his life with this man.

TK holds out a hand, reaching for him, and Carlos takes it and steps into the shower after him. He moves in close, wrapping TK back up into his arms under the warm, soothing spray.