#not that its a huge loss. but i do like the contrast 7 years makes LOL

[slavhew]

2024 redraw of a 2017 dirkus

[spnwatch]

Season 2: The Rankings

Whew. Oh boy.

They were still puttering about in season 1 to an extent. But now? Now they’ve really hit their stride. This season was a veritable chocolate box of delights and I ate my way through it. The overall myth arc was kind of nonsensical, but that emotional throughline? Christ. Spn buries SO MUCH emotional complexity into its leads, and they cashed in every cent in that two part finale. It packs one hell of a punch. And yeah, okay, I knew the broad strokes, the twists and turns. It’s hard not to be spoilered for a season of tv that aired over a decade ago. But reader! It mattered not!! I. Still. Wept. That’s when you know it’s the good kush.  1.) 2x12: NIGHTSHIFTER. This one just snagged the top spot by merit of its sheer ambition. Supernatural often feels like a very empty universe to me, just two guys and one car drifting from place to place. Which is fine, it makes for compelling TV, but they totally flipped the script here and this episode really dazzles precisely because of that contrast. It’s a huge, cinematic episode, a metropolitan setting full of uncontrollable elements, and it’s great to see Sam and Dean so profoundly vulnerable. The outside world is pressing up against the windows. They have sniper dots trained on them! They are, literally and figuratively, out of their depth! We’re not in Kansas any more, baby. God, I haven’t even mentioned the supporting characters. The entire mandroid rant deserves an Emmy. Victor Henrickson’s entrance! Heist movie antics! Agh!  10/10  

2.) 2x07: THE USUAL SUSPECTS. Again this episode was a cut above precisely because it showed us what the brothers look like from the outside: sketchy as all hell. It’s so good when reality ensures, because it’s great to be reminded they lead objectively insane lives! Through Linda Blair’s eyes we get to see just how unknowable, feral and amoral they appear to the eyes of polite society. Put under a microscope like this, they’re scary guys! They’re just not socialised like normal people. They don’t really care about being arrested, or about the felonies. Getting arrested is an irritant above everything else. They’re still working the case from the inside. They’re professionals; excellent liars, and totally in sync with each other. The handwritten notes they pass, like delinquent school kids! A delight! The thrill lies in watching Blair slowly unwrap their strange logic, and unravel the mystery of both the brothers and the ghost. Ugh, what a great perspective shift. I’m 100% here for it. 10/10 

 3.) 2x09: CROATOAN. Ugh, this setting. Small Town Gothic, complete with eerie mist, hostile locals and creepy Stepford vibes. Sam really shone in this episode. He’s so soothing and giant, and it made his suffering at the end all the more devastaing. The real reason this episode ranks so highly is their conversation in the surgery. It just killed me. Dean’s sheer, bone-deep exhaustion, his admission that he’s tired of the life. Sam’s despair, because he knows Dean won’t leave. The performances were so steller. I can’t even really think too deeply about it because it makes me too crazy. 10/10  

 4.) 2x21: ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE: PART ONE. I loved this finale so much more than the finale in Season 1, LOL. It might just be because I’m more invested now, who knows. The opening of this episode is a piece of art: Boston playing on the car stereo, the rain, the small cafe, the lighting. Gorgeous. I love when they have to interact with ordinary people! It adds so much: texture, humour, personality! It draws things out of Sam and Dean that we just don’t see when they have each other to bounce off of. It was so good to see Ava and Andy again. “I just woke up in freakin’ Frontierland!” The gang’s all here, folks! This episode would rank higher, but recieves minus points for the long boring speech the demon gives Sam, and killing off the first gay in the show 0.2 seconds after her introduction. Anyway. The ending of course unzipped me; Dean cradling Sam’s dead body, muttering “It’s okay, it’s not even that bad.” The elation of their reunion, so devastaingly cut short! Sam, twenty two years old, bleeding out in the mud. The sheer, hopelessness of it all. The horror. My notes for the end of the episode simply read: “Dean oh Christ. Oh my God. Oh no.” It’s just one of those scenes that stay with you long after the credits start rolling. 9/10   

5.) 2x20: WHAT IS AND WHAT SHOULD NEVER BE. I never thought I could be so profoundly upset by watching a man happily mowing a lawn. Dean’s trauma over the loss of his mother has undercut the whole show up until this point, and here it bursts to the fore. What really got me was the simplicity of it all. Just a sit-down dinner, an engagement. A beer on the porch. Fuck, he deserves it. He deserves everything. All the performances were great, they really served to show there’s a whole life in these AU characters. The fact it wasn’t all perfect was bizarrely more devastating. AU Sam’s weird straight hair and dorky jacket sealed the deal for me, as did his baffled terror in the warehouse. But even here, with no training and no idea what’s happening, he gets into the Impala! Because that’s his brother! Because I’m a huge baby I had to remove points because of how upsetting I found Sam’s quiet hostility towards Dean, HA. But that’s really just a testament to how well-realised their dynamic has become by the second season. 9/10  

 6.) 2x15: TALL TALES. Every single thing Sam does in any of Dean’s memories. Also alien slowdance set to “Lady in Red.” Also Bobby breaking them up like they’re petulant children. Gold, all of it gold. 9/10 

 7.)  2x11: PLAYTHINGS. So I’m a slut for a cool setting, obviously. Turns out, Supernatural did The Haunting of Bly Manor fifteen years ago. The swimming pool! The attic! Creepy dolls! The weird little playground! This episode has it all! I loved the saga between the ghost sister and the old lady, which would honestly make a killer movie in its own right. But I’m digressing. The main star of this episode was, of course, Dean’s profound and escalating sexual insecurities. “Well, you are kinda butch. People probably think you’re overcompensating.” FATALITY. I would’ve placed this one higher but the weird incestuous undertones kinda squicked me out... however, I did think we were meant to be creeped out by it, which is more than I can say for some other uh. Instances. It was, after all, beautifully paralelled at the end with the two sisters reuniting in death. “I can’t leave here, and you can’t leave me.” SHUDDER. Also, honestly, can Sam have one (1) breakdown on his own without Dean’s own emotional baggage taking over? Older siblings, smh. 9/10

8.) 2x22: ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE: PART TWO. This one ranks lower than part one purely because I thought the yellow-eyed demon’s overall plot was kinda nonsensical, and I cared not for John’s weird deux ex machina moment. Like do you expect me to feel sorry for that bitch? I don’t! Anyway, that being said, let’s move on to Dean’s eyes in the junkyard when Bobby asks him, “do you have that low an opinion of yourself?” They’re so flat. So dead, like a shark’s. He doesn’t need to say anything back, because it’s all over his face. That non-expression says it all. This is the culmination of the emotional arc that began with his savage beatdown of the Impala in episode 2x02. To call it survivor’s guilt wouldn’t even begin to cover what Dean goes through this episode. It’s all in Ackles’ performance; in the the way he yells, “What am I supposed to do now, Sammy?��� The complete claustrophobia of it all. There’s nothing for it but to make the deal. Dean’s been moving inexorably towards this moment for the entire season. 9/10   

 9.) 2x13: HOUSES OF THE HOLY. What a kooky little episode! Magic fingers! Sam’s costcutter seance purchases! The scooby-doo placemat he uses as a makeshift altar! I love him, your honour. Obviously this episode has a lot of *~dramatic irony~* in it because of the later seasons, but it stands alone as a total banger. I was so gutted for Sam when the "angel” was revealed. So many good little Sam moments to be found in this episode. His soft, quiet little revelation that he prays every day. His awkward, earnest explanation to the horrified priest! Dean gets some great moments chasing down the would-be rapist down those dark, snow-covered streets. His speech to Sam where he explains his lack of belief is brief, but it’s a total gut punch. Rounding it off with Knockin on Heaven’s Door was just the cherry on top. 9/10 

 10.) 2x14: BORN UNDER A BAD SIGN. Ahaha I love the way Dean acts whenever Sam’s psychic powers come up. He treats him like a rebellious teen, it’s so funny. “What’s going on with you, Sam? Smokin’, drinkin’?” As if Sam’s behaviour was a) at all under his control or b) anything Dean wouldn’t HIMSELF do. Dean’s just like, this isn’t how I raised you! Truly hysterical. The whole sequence between Meg!Sam and Jo was fantastic and horrible. Sam’s huge physique is never threatening, but it really was in that moment. The interplay between them was totally spine-tingling. Meg’s impression Sam slowly crumbling away over the course of the episode was so compelling and I’m sure it will be a really fun rewatch now I know the *twist*. 9/10  

Favourite lines this season: 

The way Sam says “black cat’s bone” in 2x08

“You’re not gonna go kill somebody because a ghost told you to, are you insane?!” - Dean, 2x13

“Dean, this is a very serious investigation, we don’t have time for your blah blah blah blah.” - Sam (according to Dean), 2x15

“I’m fine, except for every single thing that’s happening.” - Ava, 2x21 

[travllingbunny]

The 100 rewatch: 5x03 Sleeping Giants

Continuing my joint rewatch of season 5 with @jeanie205. After two great episodes where we caught up with our main characters and saw (or did not see, in the case of Spacekru) their experiences during the 6-year time jump, Sleeping Giants is another excellent episode, this time fully about the present day action with the Eligius prisoners moving into Eden, their conflict with and capture and torture of Clarke, and most of all about the Spacekru trying to find a way to deal with the Eligius crew, get to the ground and save their people.

It’s also a great Bellamy episode, just as 5x01 was a great Clarke-centric episode and 5x02 a great Octavia episode. Raven also gets still getting pretty good character moments here (and has maybe more lines than in any other episode, but to be fair, most of it is exposition).

What particularly struck me - especially after quite a few slower episodes in season 7 - is just how fast, intense and full of both action and loads of new information (about Eligius 4 and Diyoza, but also a lot of setup for season 6, and even for the possible prequel). There are also lots and lots of parallels and contrasts to season 1, and callbacks to previous seasons in general; morality debates, fights, and one very epic (and romantic-looking) reunion of the show’s two main characters in the closing scene.

Timeline:  2 days have passed since the present day events of 5x01 - it is 2201 days since Praimfaya.

This episode is full of action and new information - if you don’t pay attention to every second, you may miss some of it:

First mention of Eligius 3: their mission may have been top secret. but the crew of Eligius 4 obviously knew that the corporation was sending Nightbloods and that one of the planet was a binary star system (Shaw males a comment "Two suns, no sunscreen”).

Eligius 4 was a mining ship; one of its engines got busted in the rebellion of the prisoners, which is why the ship needed a hundred years to get back to Earth (as opposed to Eligius 3 - which we later see took just a few years to reach Sanctum from Earth)

Possible prequel info: Raven mentions great-great grandpappy Blake who was an astronaut with multiple PhDs (but it’s unclear if he was an ancestor of both Bellamy and Octavia, in which case he has to be Aurora’s ancestor).

We start getting some of Diyoza backstory here (there’s more in the following episodes), when she mentions to Clarke that she fought when the “fascist government” tried to take her home. (This could’ve been seen as just Diyoza’s bias, but now that we have an idea - from 7x08 - what USA - under a President Wallace - was like just before the apocalypse, her description seems fitting. Callie also considered the government fascist.)

Instead of more exposition, the show follows the Show, Don’t Tell rule and gives the backstory about the rebellion in a more exciting way, by having Spacekru find and watch a video message that the late captain of the ship filmed  and was about to send when he was killed. But the show also still intentionally withholds some info: the captain mentions that the prisoners have learned about Order 11 but we don't find out what that was until a few episodes later - that it was an order to kill all the prisoners. This would change our perception of Diyoza and the entire situation to quite an extent, but so far, all you get from this is that the prisoners, and Diyoza in particular, are very dangerous. The captain was about to send the message that Eligius be blown out of the sky, saying that “Diyoza can't be allowed to weaponize the cargo", which first hints at her terrifying reputation. But considering he was just going to do that, I’m not sure you can’t blame Diyoza for letting McCreary kill him. (Even though Shaw just does that, reminding Diyoza that she promised she wouldn’t kill any of the crew - to which she laconically replies she didn’t promise the others wouldn’t.)

There is, however, already some moral ambiguity there because Spacekru learn that prisoners were seen as “expendable” by the people in power - and Murphy says this sounds familiar, pointing out a parallel between the Eligius prisoners and the Delinquents. In general, season 5 plays a lot with the (imperfect) parallels (and contrasts) between season 5 and season 1. Some of the not-so-subtle callbacks include Diyoza saying “We’re not alone” in 5x01, Clarke making notes and drawings of the weaponry that the newcomers have, which is kind of a "parallel" to how Lincoln made notes in his notebook (except Lincoln was mostly making notes of how many people were there, not their weapons - since they didn’t have any), Clarke being captured and refusing to give any info by staying silent, and Clarke getting tortured, like Lincoln was. And just like Octavia argued that Lincoln didn’t speak English, but Bellamy was sure he did, now Shaw tries to argue that Clarke can’t speak English but Diyoza is smart enough to know she does. (It was really obvious in both cases - someone who doesn't speak your language but wants to communicate would say something in another language and make gestures, a mute person would make gestures, but when someone is looking at you silently and with a stone face, they obviously don't WANT to talk. Octavia seems to have actually believed that Lincoln didn’t speak English, since she was later surprised that he did - but she was still naive at the time. I find it hard to believe Shaw really believed that - he was probably just trying to dissuade Diyoza from letting McCreary torture someone.)

But here’s the thing: a parallel doesn’t have to mean two things are really the same - sometimes, as in this case, it’s more like “this is kind of reminiscent of that other thing, but when you compare them, you see that they’re drastically different”, which is pretty obvious, as in one case, we had a hundred kids with no weapons (aside from one gun and one knife), just going around without a plan and trying to have a good time in a rather small area, vs thousands of organized people with at least hundreds of armed warriors in a much wider territory. In this case, we have a bunch of heavily armed (and that’s an understatement, they really have all sorts of incredibly powerful weapons) adult murderers who came in with the express plan to take over the Valley - which was the only habitable area on Earth, vs a sole woman and a child. In other words, the Eligius prisoners are exactly what the Grounders claimed in season 1 that the 100 were, but what the 100 most definitely were not - a real and massive threat.  But on the other hand, there is a reason why this parallel exists - and that’s to point out that the prisoners, no matter how scary they are, no matter how good the reasons to be afraid of them, no matter how bad they may be... are still people who were sent as forced labor, deemed expendable, and now are trying to get back home, to Earth. What else could they do - float forever in space, in cryo? 

Another callback in this episode was to season 3 - and it’s a particularly important one for Bellamy’s character arc: the dilemma of what to do with the 283 Eligius prisoners in cryo. Murphy is the voice of ruthless pragmatism and suggests that they simply pull the plug and kill them all, before Diyoza could wake them up from the ground and use them as her army. Echo, though she says she understands why this is hard for Bellamy, backs up Murphy’s suggestion, but Bellamy refuses. You can see how awful even the idea is to him, reminding him of one of the things he has been regretting and feeling guilty for years - helping Pike kill Lexa’s army while they were sleeping. There are differences in circumstance, but it is basically the same thing, kill people in their sleep pre-emptively, before they could be potentially used against you, because if they are, they would be a huge threat to your people. (Well, it is the same thing for the purposes of the show - if we believe that experienced Trikru warriors could all sleep at the same time and not wake up and start fighting - which the show really wants us to believe, though it never made any sense. The Eligius prisoners, however, are really helpless here because they are cryo frozen, so this would really be the massacre that season 3 pretended Hakeldama was.) Murphy brings up Clarke, in what is one of the weirder lines in this episode - “If Clarke was here, this wouldn’t even...” I’m not sure what exactly he was trying to say - did he mean to imply Clarke would be in favor of killing them all (which doesn’t make much sense - it’s not like Clarke was the one more in favor of violent solutions than the peaceful and diplomatic ones compared to Bellamy, in fact, it was typically the opposite in seasons 1-4, especially whenever Murphy was around to witness their actions and decisions, On the other hand, the show went on to give Murphy some weird opinions about Clarke in season 6. Or did he mean that Bellamy himself would opt for drastic measures to protect Clarke? 

It’s unclear, and it feels like this line just exists to set up Bellamy’s response and show how much the loss and memory of Clarke is still weighing heavy on Bellamy and motivating him. Bellamy has been trying to be better and redeem himself for mistakes of his past that he made when he was more inclined to react violently against enemies - and, since Praimfaya, he has been trying to honor Clarke’s memory, and be the kind of leader she wanted him to be, and the kind of leader she was. "Clarke didn't die for us to go back and make the same mistakes".  

Ironically, Clarke has in the meantime become a lot more like season 1a Bellamy: her focus has narrowed to trying to protect a single person, a child she loves and feels responsible for, and in her present situation, she’s a lot more inclined to opt for violent solutions. We’ve already seen that in 5x01 with the “There are no good guys” scene, and in 5x03 she is quite ruthless when she doesn’t want to mercy kill a prisoner stabbed by one of her and Madi’s traps, even when Madi is asking her to do it. Season 5 Clarke characterization is pretty controversial - and I’m not 100% sure how I feel about it. It was clearly meant to show Clarke changed and not like herself after 6 years isolation with just Madi as a companion - but I don’t like the way it seemed to almost reduce Clarke to the “Mama Bear” trope. On the other hand, this is not entirely new - Clarke was always kind of mother to the Delinquents, even though they were her age, and driven by the desire to protect those she loves and/or felt responsible for -  especially in season 2, we saw how far she can go when she is cornered and desperate to save her people. And she is certainly cornered here. We could argue  whether some of her decisions here - such as to start attacking the prisoners - were smart, but with Eden as the only livable place, there wasn’t much else she could do other than hide, which she and Madi couldn’t do indefinitely.

Bellamy’s. Echo’s and Raven’s fight with Kodiak - a particularly large and dangerous prisoner that Diyoza had woken up because of the alarm Spacekru had set off - is IMO one of the best in the show, very raw and brutal and desperate. It reminds me of the 2x11 fight where Bellamy also ended up strangling a man after a desperate fight, with the help of Echo and someone else who’s mostly a non-combatant - in S2 it was Maya, here it’s Raven. (For someone who isn’t a fighter  and in spite of her disability, Raven has the right moves - going straight for the eyes.) Bellamy and Echo work well as a part of the team, the leader and his right hand, but if you just saw this episode, you’d have no idea that they’re a couple. They don’t get the little everyday moments of chemistry and coupley behavior that we see here with Marper (when Raven teases “lovebirds” about Zero G sex, we immediately see that Marper is who she meant) or that we see with Memori in other seasons, whenever they are together. Here, they are on a break, and it’s so weird after seeing them in S7, watching Emori and Murphy snapping at each other with animosity - but there’s a thin line between love and hate.

Sleeping Giants is generally a great showcase for Bellamy: this is arguably him at his best as a leader, not only negotiating and saving his people while also refusing to commit mass murder, but we also see how good he is at instilling confidence in other team members - be it asking Murphy for his opinion, or building up Emori’s confidence as a pilot. The moment where they smile each other after she lands successfully is one of the best scenes in terms of the Spacekru dynamic - and in terms of genuinely platonic m/f friendships in the show (which should get more screentime).

It’s also a good episode for Raven, who insists she stays behind even though she knows there is a huge chance of dying, and lies to Bellamy that there is an escape pod for two, to stop him from insisting on staying instead, with his own self-sacrificial tendencies. In season 7, Raven felt guilty for not putting her life on the line in 7x03, but she did it here. Murphy ends up unintentionally kind of doing the same - fooled by her lie about the escape pod. Would he have stayed behind if he knew there was no escape pod? At this point in his development, probably not, but he is still showing the desire to contribute and do something heroic. He isn’t even sure himself what his motives are - was it just to impress Emori and show he’s not selfish, or if he really wants to be a hero who is ready to sacrifice and/or risk his life, the way the others do?

There are so many callbacks in this episode! Murphy even says the line "See you on the other side" and Raven tells Murphy: “You're right, dying alone would have sucked", referencing their scene in 2x01, back when they were just starting to not be enemies.

But of course, what this episode is mostly remembered by is Bellamy learning that Clarke is alive, and their first meeting in 6 years, in the epic last scene. The show made Bellamy and the rest of the Spacekru a bit incompetent for a moment when they get themselves captured by two prisoners, so Madi would rescue them and deliver the news that Clarke is alive. Clarke has obviously told Madi stories about Bellamy and described him, since Madi immediately recognizes him. We get Bellamy’s Harper and Monty’s reactions (as they are the Delinquents and much closer to Clarke than Echo and Emori). So Madi rescues Bellamy and then Bellamy rescues Clarke, and it feels like a lot of the plot was written in order to set up that last scene.  (Incidentally, Bellamy and Clarke are paralleled with the way they both say the same line: “No, Madi”.)

Let’s be honest here - there was no plot reason whatsoever to put this kind of emphasis on Bellamy rescuing Clarke in this scene, other than to emphasize the importance of Bellamy’s and Clarke’s relationship. He was already planning to use the prisoners in cryo as leverage to rescue Octavia and the rest of the people in the bunker - which he will also do. He could have rescued Clarke in a brief scene and then continued negotiating with Diyoza. In plot terms, this is not a cliffhanger or last scene material. But in relationship terms? That’s another story. And there was no reason to make it look so goddamn romantic - other than to portray their relationship as a romantic one, regardless of their actual relationship status. 

The entire scene is filmed to look like a dream. We see Clarke looking at him, with a dreamy look in her eyes. From Clarke’s POV, it looks like Bellamy is appearing out of the darkness, bathed in light (and holding the “Best dad in the universe” cup from Eligius 4).  

 If this was just your run-of-the-mill rescue of some of our protagonists by other ones, there was also no reason for Diyoza to say the line: “283 lives for one. She must be pretty important to you.”  In fact, this line used to bug me - because I thought it didn’t make sense for her to ask that. Come on, Diyoza, you know how hostage negotiations and leverage works! You know he is making a smart play here. Release my people and I don’t kill your people - there’s nothing strange about that. But on second thoughts - I can see Diyoza bulls*itting like that in order to try to suss out what exactly Bellamy’s relationship to Clarke is, so she could potentially use it later in dealing with them. In any case, this line clearly exists to set up Bellamy’s answer: “She is”. Set o dramatic music, as the ending line of the episode.

Rating: 8.5/10

[deuxjun]

Concupiscent | LTY

Title: Concupiscent Group: NCT Member: Taeyong Genre/Warning: Smut with minimal plot, kind of a gang au kind of not, dom!yong, vulgar language including dirty talk, asphyxiation, spanking, hair pulling, pet names, orgasm denial, oral (mutual)   Summary/Request: In which baby boy Taeyong decides to show his Queen just how much of a King he is when she undermines him | Or in which Taeyong’s Leo moon pops Word count: 6K+ (I’ve had this in my drafts since sept ‘18 please don’t let this flop)

The fact that the heels of your Manilos were touching the floors of downtown Seoul had already soured your mood, but having to leave your Bugatti Chiron on this grimy street, in front of a dingy, rusting club made you outright pissed.

You sauntered up to the entrance, the waves of people parting for you without a word said. The pathetic excuse of velvet rope was already moved to make way for you, your heels clicking against uneven pavement, then muffling when you entered the building and felt your heels sink into the old carpet.

Doing business here was the worst, but supposedly the most conspicuous. Every few months a brand new shitty location found for the meetings to be held. Usually you find it a waste of time, but tonight you had something to say.

“A pleasure as always.” The member in  charge of District 3, Irene, had said upon your entrance, to which you simply nodded in response and found a seat.

A server had started to come around to pour you a drink when they were intercepted. “I can do that for her.” You saw the dust of pink blushing the servers cheeks, simply because of a charming smile from a handsome man and you just had to roll your eyes. “Its her job.” Your tone was clipped, annoyed and Taeyong immediately picked up on the fact. “She’s serving you, I was under the impression that was my job.” His tone was hushed as he placed the flute of champagne in front of you, eyes cautious when they laid on you. You barely spared him a glance. “I’m looking for a king, not a servant" 

The iciness in your tone had Taeyong pausing and then retreating with a nod. Many women would be happy to have a man willing to be at their beck and call, and while you had loved it at the beginning, his recent performance proved that all of that was for nought. If he was unable to progress it would mean nothing. 

"Shall we begin?” District 7 leader Rosé asked. 

Right to business, just the way you liked it. Everyone settled into their seats and began to update the leaders of business in their respective districts. When it came round to you, you were quick to relay what you had to, but needed to voice something else too.  “I have concerns over District 8. We lost 1.3 Million worth of product. A huge loss.” As the words left your mouth Taeyong’s head shot up and the understanding of your mood was apparent in his eyes. But, there was also the beginnings of fury inking out in his dark orbs.

“That was not my-“

"I’m concerned we’ve left the district to someone too inexperienced. We even had fucking detective Jung getting cocky with us, asking for more money. This was not a small slip up and the fact that the person in charge is not taking ownership for the mistake is a weakness in his leadership. We need to re-evaluate." 

Taeyong was positively fuming, you could see the bulge of veins in his near translucent skin,how his jaw ticked under the pressure of clenched teeth. His dark gaze was burning through you and you returned his look with your own steely gaze. Business first.

"While your point is valid, I will have a private conversation regarding district 8. Moving on.” You could tell, you could feel his aura cloud over you, how he struggled to turn his eyes away from you and focus. It seems in more ways than one you affect Lee Taeyong. 

The meeting was adjourned hours later, but Taeyong was held back to speak with the main bosses. He gave one last dark look your way, before he turned away, not watching you walk out. 

The air was much cooler against your skin, the sky devoid of light above the city as you walked to your car and leant on the bonnet, waiting for Taeyong to finish. You may come off as cold and heartless, but you really did care for Taeyong. In your line of business however, mistakes like his needed to be nipped in the bud. You could only hope he understood where you were coming from. 

You spotted the deep red of his hair under a lamplight when he exited. “Tae.” His head turned hearing the familiar voice call out to him. He spared you a glance and scoffed, but then in a split second decided to approach you. He didn’t say anything, in fact he bypassed you and opened your car door. “Give me a ride home."  Now it was your turn to scoff.

Nevertheless you found yourself in your car turning on the ignition. "You can stay at mine tonight.” You didn’t look at him, but you felt his eyes on you as you sped down the highway. He leant toward you suddenly, his breath brushing your skin as he whispered. “You sure that’s a good idea, baby?” Your body betrayed you when you felt the shivers rake down your spine. 

Opting to ignore him, your foot pressed harder on the pedal and you shifted gears till you were well over the speed limit. Taeyong sitting back in his seat with a smirk as you barely managed to manoeuvre amongst other cars occupying the highway.  It was no surprise that in no time you were home.

Your heels were neatly placed by the front door for you to put in their proper place tomorrow. You began to make your way toward the staircase when you felt the gentle weight of Taeyong’s hand on your wrist. His hand had left the door as he shut it, while his other remained on you. He released a sigh of discontent and stepped closer to you, hand slipping from your wrist so that his arms could slither around your waist and hold you closer, his head dropping softly to rest on your shoulder. A rare moment of intimacy admittedly, but one you didn’t shy away from as you brought your own hands to run soothingly through his hair. 

“T…” voice uncharacteristically soft, “are you-“ your voice faded with the beginnings of soft, tender pecks against your shoulder; your thoughts had faded into the abyss of your mind, breath caught in your throat, apprehensive of the warm mouth that was slowing travelling above your collarbone and up the slope of your neck. Each light touch sent a wild spread of tingles, reaching higher and higher till they found your jaw. You found your head slowly turning to meet his lips, half lidded eyes boring into his. 

At long last your mouths met, slowly, in a soft dance, sweet like honey trickling down a tree. It was an unusual kiss, no urgency, no unbridled lust, a kiss that forsaked time, a kiss that didn’t need more, it was a kiss that stopped the cogs of your brain from allowing you to function, a kiss that untangled the threads of reality and made you feel as if the very fabric of the universe no longer existed and instead you were floating in nothingness, but it didn’t matter because Taeyong’s lips were on yours.  

Parting is such sweet sorrow never had as much meaning to you as it did when Taeyong removed his lips from yours and the moment he did air rushed into your lungs, oxygen igniting a fire in your chest. A fleeting moment of silence and catching your breath before Taeyong was gently pulling you toward him again, this time tighter. 

You sighed against his mouth, as if it had been years, instead of the mere seconds that his lips had been parted from yours. Taeyong’s weight pushed you to move backward, clumsily, never leaving his lips, even as your head knocked against the wood of your door. In that moment his mouth pressed a bit harder, a bit more wanton, hands leaving their comfortable place on your hips to run over your legs, up your waist, into your hair; you felt the nimble fingers against the strands, the tugging around and then the slight relief of pressure when he had succeeded in releasing your tight bun. His hands immediately wove into your hair, pressing your head harder against him, a soft groan humming against your lips. 

Much to your protest his mouth left yours, but your complaints weren’t raised once you felt the sensation of his teeth softly nibbling at your neck. You were growing warmer by the second, soon to be going into a dangerous heat that would make you delirious. Your fingers ran his build, gripping him closer. You felt the pressure surely to bring several hickies along your neck moving onto your collarbones. 

A gentle heat spread on the flesh of your thigh gripped in Taeyongs hand. He encouraged your limb higher, to rest on his hip and moved to slot between your legs, even closer to your body. You sighed, his warmth binding into the pores of your skin and making you glow with warmth. 

Your teeth sunk into your bottom lip the moment Taeyong rolled his pelvis into you, deliciously grinding on that telltale spot with purpose.  His lips curve into a smile against your skin, taking pleasure in the change of your voice becoming soft and breathy, his name parting from your mouth like it was all you knew. 

Lips, in all their soft wonder, grazed your skin in a way that contradicted the deepness of his hips pressing into you. You could only cradle him impossibly closer in fear that if there was nothing for you to anchor to, you would really slip away. 

His fingers tickled your thighs, up to your hips to dig in, making your breath hitch, pain mutely registered the deeper he pressed. His ears keened for your low moans, the kind that bubbled from deep within your chest and came out more as a groan. It made him smirk.

A smirk that grew as your startled yelp echoed in the quiet, body thudding harshly against your door as Taeyong forcibly guided you to turn around.

Taeyong’s body closed in on you, fingers drawing into your hair and pulling back harshly to bear your neck for his lips to lay on. His hips dug into your backside, slow and torturous grind completely contrasting the aching grip he had on your hair. He was nibbling your ear lobe, seemingly deaf to your whispers and soft moans for something more. 

His hand laid on your hip, rubbing his thumb back and forth in a slow motion on your clothed skin. "You’re so pretty.” He purred, his hardness evident against you and making you wish to feel him bare, skin to skin. 

“Please.” You whisper, pressing back against him. “Please give it to me baby boy." 

A noise sounds from the back of his throat, barely audible but you heard it, that familiar sweet sound that always has you growing needier. 

He kisses at your shoulder in little pecks and runs his hand lower to the swell of your arse. He squeezes the flesh softly in his palm then slips lower between your legs to press up against your heat. You shudder, trembling slightly when the pads of his fingers slides in a slow movement up and down your centre. 

In a second he has lowered to his knees, a dull thud meeting your ears. Your hair falls against your back, Taeyong bringing his other hand to palm at your meaty flesh. He pushes your dress up, mouthing at the backs of your thighs, up to the teasing skin peeking out of your underwear. You hum in delight, Taeyong leaving no place of bared skin untouched, unkissed and when he presses his face between your cheeks and inhales deeply you whine. 

He tilts his head up further, teeth nipping, nose pressing further into you, meeting your own hips pushing back against him. 

"Relax, baby.” He hushes after pulling back. 

You rest your head against the door, taking slow and deep breaths, just allowing your body to succumb to Taeyong and his touch; he tilts himself away from you to stare at your bottom, to watch his fingers daintily run up and down your thighs, caress over your plumpness, and then finally his fingers tiptoe to the band of your underwear. 

The material crawls down your skin when he begins to lower it, taking his sweet time to let it slide over your cheeks, down your thighs and hit the floor. 

A long beat of silence passes, yet you don’t utter a word. Your ears are filled with the heavy thump of your heart, with adrenaline fueled blood rushing through your exhilarated body, and all you can do is wait, feel the heavy stare of Taeyong’s eyes slowly eyeing your bared flesh until tingles spread over your skin as if it were a physical touch.

The first touch of him on your skin has you sighing in a way that spoke of your need, of the way you crave for that softness unique to him, the care in which he handles you, sedating your body to all he has to offer. 

His hands are gentle and warm, gliding up the backs of your thighs till the weight of your globes are held in each palm. His fingers curl to squeeze and gently dig, lifting to part and reveal your temple that he loves to worship. 

His breath touches you first, like static against you, but then his tongue glides against where your arousal has begun to steadily stream and gone is that static charge, and in place is cloud covered skies lit by lightning, feeling the thunder rattle your insides until you are left shaking against the gentle laps of his tongue seemingly kissed by moonlight, for soon you see stars. 

The wood grates under the clawing of your nails, senses totally engrossed in the sound of Taeyong languidly slurping you up, in the feel of his tongue that seems to be made of magic sliding in a slow motion over your core, in the way he chokes a whimper into you that you know is caused by his adoration for your taste; you’re enamoured and willing to give him everything and know that he is willing to give it all to you, his Queen. 

And in a sudden moment, his spell is broken. Either you’re slow, or Taeyong was just that quick, for in a matter of indiscernible seconds he has risen to his feet, body pressed hard against yours and slipping between your slick folds are the tips of fingers, agile, without a hint of tease when they slide upwards, inside of you, so so embarrassingly easy. 

At the edge of where your sanity seemed to lay are knuckles pressing so harsh and purposefully against you, you lose your breath. Wetness trickles down his skin, like morning dew kissing a petal, the sound of his fingers being sucked in sending his blood rushing south, encouraging him to have you gushing even more for him. 

“I slide so easily into you, baby. You always open up so well for me, don’t you? Your body knows me. Loves me and the things I do to it, right?” He is so soft spoken in your ear, it makes you dizzy with the way the words part from his lips sweetly, yet turn your insides in the same effect his fingers do. 

You can’t find the will in yourself to reply. Not when your body is practically dropping down onto his fingers, making you feel as if they were pressing that much deeper. Not when you can clearly feel its shape, thin and knobbly against your walls that squeeze so tightly around him. But, Taeyong is having none of that, frustration getting the better of him, with a hiss moving his fingers urgently inside of you and all of a sudden, your juices barely able to spill from you with the force of his fingers fucking it back in. 

“Right?" 

Your voice cracks into a sound like glass shattering; broken, sharp, hitting at different volumes in an uneven pattern under the ferocity and speed of his fingers. Your throat hitches and your back bows and Taeyong knows that you’re almost there. Close, so, so close. 

”Please.“ You screech, trembling against the coolness of your door feeling utterly empty and devastated at the loss of your orgasm that you knew you could have reached in just a few more frustrating seconds. ”Please.“ You cry out breathless, sweaty palms squeaking against the door when your body begins to slide down. 

Taeyong has stepped back, distancing himself from you so he could watch the way your skin moved with your trembles, so he could watch you hopelessly hang on and still beg to be pushed to the edge. 

"Turn around.” His low voice carried in the quiet ,past the thump in your ears. He watched your lagged movements, your arms pushing weakly against your door until you were facing him, face flushed, perspiration shining on your skin. “Come here, baby.” You pushed yourself off the door and took the few steps until you were again so close his warmth became yours again. 

He cupped your face, thumbs stroking back and forth beneath your eyes where tears sat at your waterline. “Oh baby,” he began quietly, breath tickling your quivering lips, “don’t cry… I want you to do something for me, can you?” The immediate nod of your head had Taeyong’s soft and fond smile appearing, a smile so familiar to you, unlike how he was tonight. “The safe word that we use for me… you remember it right? I want you to remember if for yourself tonight, okay?" 

A small noise sounds from the back of your throat and you blink once, clearing your head when you reply soft and firm. ”Yes.“ 

Taeyong’s smile is warm, reaching his darkened orbs and making way for pure sunlight, so bright and staring down at you when he says, "good girl” before leaning in to give you a kiss so tender you feel tugs at your heart bringing about a painful ache. 

He parts with a heavy breath and in a moment the light in his eyes flicker until it has completely faded. “I want you to crawl, my love. And don’t stop till I tell you to." 

Your heart skips a beat, eyes trained on his when you lower to your knees. His throat bobs when he swallows, the sight of you staring up at him, so pliant, so beautiful, encouraging that chemical high to fill his body. Your eyes flutter, lashes touching your skin, becoming demure and looking away from his eyes to the floor when you begin to move.

It’s a weird sensation; you knees pressing to the hardness of your floor, the chill running up your body, feeling the linger of Taeyong’s eyes watching the way your body moves slow, the way you are half displayed, arousal coating you, dress creased and shifting. 

Just as you approach the first step, your body bows inward and a harsh startled pain filled gasp parts from your lips, pushed out when the palm of Taeyong’s hand cracks against the flesh of your arse. You still, shaking inches away from the stairs.

Another slap echoes in the eerie quiet and then his voice comes, "keep moving, baby. Don’t stop for nothing." 

Glossy lips quiver, body flushing with aroused heat and then you’re willing your limbs onwards. Your palm lays on the cool of your oak steps, a tingle of sharp shards striking your warmth when you push yourself up the stairs.

At the fourth step his hand comes down heavy again, and at the fourth step your voice breaks as do your movements, hips pressing to the edges of the stairs. "Do I have to repeat myself, baby?”

No. 

It is halfway up the stairs, skin near burning at the sensation of Taeyong’s continued strikes that he croaks good girl and slips two fingers that curl and hook, as if to push you along faster, yet breaks your pace and has your gripping the hardwood with a mewl. 

Taeyong doesn’t have to repeat himself, the feeling of him inside you urges you to move quicker, so much so that he nearly slips from your heat. The bass of his groan feeds into you, desire heavy in the air, surged on with each slap against your skin, with the sound of liquid honey stirring with the push and pull of fingers determined to guide and to taunt until you feel the contraction of muscles deep within.

“You can do it baby. You’re a Queen right? This is light work.“ He scoffs, tone patronising when he looks down at your tiring body, watching you stretch your hand out for that last step, so close, nearly there, until, a hand presses down between your shoulder blades and his fingers are anything but still. 

"JESUS- FUCKFUCKFUCK” God please I’m right there.

“Get up. You have one more step.” 

“Nononotaeyongnopleaseplease” Again. He denied you again. His shadow cast over your body, weak on the steps, subtly trembling and silently crying for yet another orgasm lost. 

 “Oh, do you feel a huge loss? I’m not sure I can help you baby, it’s gone now. I’m not very good at keeping things.” Ignoring your pleas, he slowly bent down, lips closing in on your ear. “Get up my Queen, or will I have to help you?” The dangerous undertone had you freezing up. You were still not used to this Taeyong; to his touch filled with dark lust, to that dulcet tone you were accustomed to now completely faded for something rough, gravelly, his tongue sharp, his eyes akin to a black hole ready to swallow you, it was all so foreign. 

“Help it is.” He hushed, fingers sliding into your hair and all but dragging you over that last step, ignoring your startled cry, or your hands reaching for his. 

Your knees burned and when Taeyong finally came to a stop in front of the hallway mirror you collapsed at his feet. 

“You want a king? Suck this dick like I’m the only one worthy of you, my Queen.” Your glossy eyes stared up at him, already looking down at you whilst his hands busied themselves with his belt and zipper. You swallow the dryness in your throat, shifting on your knees until you were half up, with a hand balanced on his thigh and your other grabbing for his half hard length as soon as he had shifted his boxers lower. 

Taeyong’s throat bobbed harshly, dark eyes taking in the rare sight of you unkempt, hair askew, faintest trails of black in your dried tears, but most of all, those eyes. Wide and so eager, so ready to please him. 

Your tongue flattened from his base and dragged up to his tip, your eyes locked on his face as you tapped his dick against your tongue, then closed your mouth around his tip, allowing saliva to dribble out of your mouth. Your fist twisted up and down, mouth focused on suckling the head of his dick, drawing a pretty moan from Taeyong’s pink lips.

His hands came up to cup your cheeks, his stare turning more affectionate, thumbs sweeping back and forth gently on your skin. “You’re so perfect,” He whispered. “So beautiful, so stunning, my God.”

His hands shift into your hair as you begin to follow your hand down his length, taking in more and more steadily. 

Taeyong’s mouth gapes, watching you with furrowed brows, totally engrossed in the sensation your lips wrapped around him brings, his arousal only spiking at the sound of his dick rutting against your soft spot. 

“Fuck, baby, you’re so good with your mouth.” His fingers tighten in your hair and he slowly drags your head further down, feeling your throat constrict at the invasion. “It’s a shame you have to say dumb shit isn’t it?” He grunts, dragging you backward slowly, then down again, taking his time, ensuring you make his dick nice and wet. Your whimper does not deter him from his attempt to breach your throat, his grip firm when he pulls you down again, slow, ensuring each inch is felt when he slips down the back of your throat, gently holding you in place even as you splutter around him, body wanting to recoil away from him, but Taeyong would not allow that, nestling deep as possible. 

Your eyes squeeze shut, the tears that had pooled in your eyes sliding down your face and meeting the drool spilling past your lips. He draws back carefully, letting his tip rest in your mouth, allowing you a few seconds to inhale through your nose and then carefully sliding in deep again, repeating this rhythm of slowly filling your throat, of letting his length block your airways. 

“So goddamn beautiful, yet so fucking infuriating.” His voice has become shaky, breathy and distant whispers as he watches you. Follows the gentle slide of his dick, of your mouth stretching around him, how you were becoming ruined, dirtied by your own spit, by your running makeup. “Always doubting me, my Queen. Do I look like a king yet?" 

The moment your eyes roll back, a weird sensation passes over you. There is a heavy pressure in your head, making you feel as if your skull could implode, your heart is as erratic as your body panics at the lack of air, but then it is as if a wave of calm washes over you, vision becoming fuzzy until it feels as if the black edging your eyes would take over completely. 

Your body hits the floor. Eyes unfocused, head lulling around against the hard surface, your head so disoriented you don’t even notice how hard your body is heaving to fill your lungs with air to prevent you from passing out after being denied oxygen for so long. 

Taeyong immediately crouches down, sweeping his hand beneath your head and allowing it to rest on his thigh, caring hands stroking your cheek, cooing at you. "Shh, breathe baby. You’re okay, you’re okay, I’m here, I’m here, always here.” Your eyes finally stop rolling and you find the ability to focus on his voice and his voice alone, clinging to it as the blackness fades and you finally stabilise your breathing. 

You blink the remaining tears away and find Taeyong, your sweet, sweet angel Taeyong looking down at you with the gentlest smile. “You good?” He asks quietly. Swallowing hard, you whisper back, “I’m good." 

He leans down to close the gap, stealing your breath in an entirely different way when your lips meet, a soft collision that felt like sinking into a pillow of clouds, warm emotion wrapping around the two of you. He pulls back with his eyes closed, his breath fanning your face when he breathes out and opens his eyes to stare adoringly at you again. "We aren’t finished yet, my Queen." 

Taeyong keeps control when he pushes you to sit up and when he strips you of your dress and underwear. His hands travel your body as if he is exploring a newfound beauty that God has blessed him with, fingers kissed by angels and fluttering like their wings. His fingers tickle up your neck and flick off your chin and you find yourself wanting to say take me my king.  

Instead, you are silent, awaiting his next move; he shifts on his knees behind you, until he is able to drape himself over your body, his weight a false security blanket, clothed chest brushing the sweaty expanse of your back, a hand, one finger at a time laying the curve of your neck, thumb and fingertips against your jaw, keeping your head up and making eye contact in the mirror. This way you are able to see the dark depths of his eyes as he guides his length to your dripping folds, his tip playing against your slit, up and down, brushing against your clit, until finally, you feel him press against your entrance, your walls already clenching, eagerly waiting to be filled. 

The first inch is euphoric, the first hint of stretch welcomed. The second inch, dizzying, lips pulled between teeth and eyes glossing over, out of focus but completely engrossed in the sensation at the same time. The third, filling you just as slow, is maddening, your warm heat attempting to swallow more of him in, body doing the begging for you. Inch after inch only aggravates the trembles, only sedates your tense muscles until you are slack and at complete mercy to his penetration. When he finally bottoms out, it is a feeling indescribable, to be one with him, to be completely full of him. 

“How does that feel, my Queen? Is my dick serving your sweet little cunt well?” An almost distressed moan leaves your lips, nails scratching at the floor in desperation.  Taeyong leans even further over you until your chest presses down to the floor,  your head resting to the side and all you can see is your tear stained face clutched by his hand. The first pull of his length feels like a shock, your body feeling yourself become empty, and Taeyong kisses your cheek, lips hotly resting by your ear when he slowly fills you up again.”Tell me my love. Is this what you wanted? Is this how you like your king?” He punctuates his next words by slowly sliding back into you again. “To own your pussy? To make you a mess? To make you cum so hard you forget how to function?”

Your breath hitches and as he pushes that last inch back in you gasp an airy, fucked out yes, voice not even sounding like your own. He chuckles against your ear, a new kind of shiver wracking through your being at its deepends, its sinister undertone. And that’s when he fucks you harder. Dragging his length back slow only to rut into you with one hard thrust that shakes every inch of your being. 

“Oh, my lovely queen you feel so fucking good. I could stay buried in you forever.” He rasps out, another harsh push of his hips. You feel drool slide out of your gaping mouth, you can see your eyes, murky and dark, so foreign as they stare back at you in the mirror. And Taeyong. You can see Taeyong’s eyes running your sweaty and pliant form in your reflection, the way your body responds to him, the way he makes you feel, the way he is taking you as he should: Like you are his. 

“Don’t you have anything to say now? C’mon my dear Queen, give me some tips on leadership” He suddenly sits up, pulling you up by your jaw, making you watch the tears stream down your face, his cock slowly sliding in and out of you as you babbled. “Don’t tell me, you’ve become totally incoherent for my dick baby? You really can’t think? Oh? But you were so snappy back then, so quick to bring up my lack of shortcomings. But here you are, a limp mess.” He hisses into your ear, dark eyes staring you down. 

“Too inexperienced.” He drags up back to meet his harsh thrust.

“Weakness.” He growls, circling his hips against your soft flesh, his dick rubbing against your walls. 

“Imsorryimsorrypleaseimsorry” You slur, clenching your jaw when a sudden wave of something electrifying runs through you. 

“What was that?” He hisses, pulling you up against his chest.

"I-I’m sorry.” You whimper. “You are my king. You’re mine.” You whisper, looking up at him, turning your head as much as you can under his grip to press a soft kiss to his jaw. 

Taeyong silently shifts, eyes never leaving yours. He brings his other hand up to join your jaw, fingers interlocking atop your neck to keep your head back looking up at him. His lips rest on your forehead, hot and heavy pants and engulfing eyes staring back into yours and as he witnesses the desperation in your eyes shift into something more he rolls his hips, sinfully slow hitting hard and that precise moment when he’s near;y as deep as he can be inside of you, he pushes hard, pressing his hips tightly against your backside, and this is how he continues, fluid slow and hard thrusts fucking into you, the slight pressure on your throat making you feel lightheaded and as if you were on the verge of floating away. 

Taeyong grunts, pulling your head back further if possible, moving his face down to lick into your mouth, to kiss your lips carefully and soft and swallow your sounds each time rattles your body with the strength of his strokes and in a sudden, overwhelming moment, your skin is alight, your eyes are rolling to the back of your head and your pulse is in your ears, a loud thump thump as your blood rushes and you shake in Taeyong’s arms so much so you’re afraid you will fall apart as you cum at long last. 

Taeyong allows your body to fall to the floor, his chest immediately pressing down on your back whilst his hand scrambles for yours to press it further into the floor and he begins to rut faster against you, panting and groaning and moaning all kinds of sweet melodies in your ear, his other hand reaching down and grabbing your hip to lift for his hand to slide under and find your clit. You cry out, broken and weak as his fingers  incessantly rub circles and he continues fucking into you, murmimg word sin your ear that you can’t even process and as he pushes deeply into you, you feel the spurts of his orgasm filling you up, his groan fanning over your skin as he collapses atop of you, fingers still on your slit until he can’t feel your walls spasming around him again. 

It seems like forever until he rolls off of you, staring up at the ceiling panting while you lay immobile on your stomach. 

After a moment of gathering himself, Taeyong looks over at you, gulping before deciding to roll over and gently press his lips to your shoulder, his delicate fingers carefully moving the hair plastered to your face out of the way.

“Are… are you okay?”

“Hmm…” You reply after a few seconds, voice croaky, blinking the fuzziness from your eyes. “I am sorry you know… But in this busi-” 

“I know.” Taeyong is silent for a moment, thinking over his words. “I know my place,” He finally sighs, “I was just… Hurt… I thought you would have spoken to me first, but when you acted cold and called me out… it hurt.” 

“I know, I didn’t mean to hurt you… Next time I won’t interfere… What did they say anyway?” 

Taeyong turns his cheek to the side resting against your warm skin. “I explained everything to them. I told them how I had sorted it. They were happy.”

“You…You sorted it? How?” You shift and Taeyong lifts his head, watching as you turn your head to face him. 

Smirking, “If you had spoken to me first, you would have known how. I’ll tell you everything in the morning.” He promises, sweetly pecking you on the lips. He rests his head on the floor next to your head, the both of you quietly staring into each other’s eyes and you feel your eyes threatening to close when Taeyong brings his hand up to massage his fingers through your hair. “Let’s go to bed, I don’t fancy sleeping out here.” Taeyong moves to stand and then reaches out to help you and you pause, narrowing your eyes at him. “You’re still the little spoon.”

Taeyong’s eyes glittered as if the sun had caught the stars waiting in them, lips pulled back in a wide, adoring grin. “Of course, my Queen." 

[mattbrothersscriptwriter]

My Top 20 Films of 2019 - Part Two

I don’t think I’ve had a year where my top ten jostled and shifted as much as this one did - these really are the best of the best and my personal favourites of 2019.

10. Toy Story 4

I think we can all agree that Toy Story 3 was a pretty much perfect conclusion to a perfect trilogy right? About as close as is likely to get, I’m sure. I shared the same trepidation when part four was announced, especially after some underwhelming sequels like Finding Dory and Cars 3 (though I do have a lot of time for Monsters University and Incredibles 2). So maybe it’s because the odds were so stacked against this being good but I thought it was wonderful. A truly existential nightmare of an epilogue that does away with Andy (and mostly kids altogether) to focus on the dreams and desires of the toys themselves - separate from their ‘duties’ as playthings to biological Gods. What is their purpose in life without an owner? Can they be their own person and carve their own path? In the case of breakout new character Forky (Tony Hale), what IS life? Big big questions for a cash grab kids films huh?

The animation is somehow yet another huge leap forward (that opening rainstorm!), Bo Peep’s return is excellently pitched and the series tradition of being unnervingly horrifying is back as well thanks to those creepy ventriloquist dolls! Keanu Reeves continues his ‘Keanuassaince‘ as the hilarious Duke Caboom and this time, hopefully, the ending at least feels finite. This series means so much to me: I think the first movie is possibly the tightest, most perfect script ever written, the third is one of my favourites of the decade and growing up with the franchise (I was 9 when the first came out, 13 for part two, 24 for part three and now 32 for this one), these characters are like old friends so of course it was great to see them again. All this film had to do was be good enough to justify its existence and while there are certainly those out there that don’t believe this one managed it, I think the fact that it went as far as it did showed that Pixar are still capable of pushing boundaries and exploring infinity and beyond when they really put their minds to it.

9. The Nightingale

Hoo boy. Already controversial with talk of mass walkouts (I witnessed a few when this screened at Sundance London), it’s not hard to see why but easy to understand. Jennifer Kent (The Babadook) is a truly fearless filmmaker following up her acclaimed suburban horror movie come grief allegory with a period revenge tale set in the Tasmanian wilderness during British colonial rule in the early 1800s. It’s rare to see the British depicted with the monstrous brutality for which they were known in the distant colonies and this unflinching drama sorely needed an Australian voice behind the camera to do it justice.

The film is front loaded with some genuinely upsetting, nasty scenes of cruel violence but its uncensored brutality and the almost casual nature of its depiction is entirely the point - this was normalised behaviour over there and by treating it so matter of factly, it doesn’t slip into gratuitous ‘movie violence’. It is what it is. And what it is is hard to watch. If anything, as Kent has often stated, it’s still toned down from the actual atrocities that occurred so it’s a delicate balance that I think Kent more than understands. Quoting from an excellent Vanity Fair interview she did about how she directs, Kent said “I think audiences have become very anaesthetised to violence on screen and it’s something I find disturbing... People say ‘these scenes are so shocking and disturbing’. Of course they are. We need to feel that. When we become so removed from violence on screen, this is a very irresponsible thing. So I wanted to put us right within the frame with that person experiencing the loss of everything they hold dear”. 

Aisling Franciosi is next level here as a woman who has her whole life torn from her, leaving her as nothing but a raging husk out for vengeance. It would be so easy to fall into odd couple tropes once she teams up with reluctant native tracker Billy (an equally impressive newcomer, Baykali Ganambarr) but the film continues to stay true to the harsh racism of the era, unafraid to depict our heroine - our point of sympathy - as horrendously racist towards her own ally. Their partnership is not easily solidified but that makes it all the stronger when they star to trust each other. Sam Claflin is also career best here, weaponizing his usual charm into dangerous menace and even after cementing himself as the year’s most evil villain, he can still draw out the humanity in such a broken and corrupt man.

Gorgeously shot in the Academy ratio, the forest landscape here is oppressive and claustrophobic. Kent also steps back into her horror roots with some mesmerising, skin crawling dream scenes that amplify the woozy nightmarish tone and overbearing sense of dread. Once seen, never forgotten, this is not going to be everyone’s cup of tea (and that’s fine) but when cinema can affect you on such a visceral level and be this powerful, reflective and honest about our own past, it’s hard to ignore. Stunning.

8. The Irishman

Aka Martin Scorsese’s magnum opus, I did manage to see this one in a cinema before the Netflix drop and absolutely loved it. I’ve watched 85 minute long movies that felt longer than this - Marty’s mastery of pace, energy and knowing when to let things play out in agonising detail is second to none. This epic tale of  the life of Frank Sheeran (Robert De Niro) really is the cinematic equivalent of having your cake and eating it too, allowing Scorsese to run through a greatest hits victory lap of mobster set pieces, alpha male arguments, a decades spanning life story and one (last?) truly great Joe Pesci performance before simply letting the story... continue... to a natural, depressing and tragic ending, reflecting the emptiness of a life built on violence and crime.

For a film this long, it’s impressive how much the smallest details make the biggest impacts. A stammering phone call from a man emotionally incapable of offering any sort of condolence. The cold refusal of forgiveness from a once loving daughter. A simple mirroring of a bowl of cereal or a door left slightly ajar. These are the parts of life that haunt us all and it’s what we notice the most in a deliberately lengthy biopic that shows how much these things matter when everything else is said and done. The violence explodes in sudden, sharp bursts, often capping off unbearably tense sequences filled with the everyday (a car ride, a conversation about fish, ice cream...) and this contrast between the whizz bang of classic Scorsese and the contemplative nature of Silence era Scorsese is what makes this film feel like such an accomplishment. De Niro is FINALLY back but it’s the memorably against type role for Pesci and an invigorated Al Pacino who steals this one, along with a roll call of fantastic cameos, with perhaps the most screentime given to the wonderfully petty Stephen Graham as Tony Pro, not to mention Anna Paquin’s near silent performance which says more than possibly anyone else. 

Yes, the CG de-aging is misguided at best, distracting at worst (I never really knew how old anyone was meant to be at any given time... which is kinda a problem) but like how you get used to it really quickly when it’s used well, here I kinda got past it being bad in an equally fast amount of time and just went with it. Would it have been a different beast had they cast younger actors to play them in the past? Undoubtedly. But if this gives us over three hours of Hollywood’s finest giving it their all for the last real time together, then that’s a compromise I can live with.

7. The Last Black Man in San Francisco

Wow. I was in love with this film from the moving first trailer but then the film itself surpassed all expectations. This is a true indie film success story, with lead actor Jimmie Fails developing the idea with director Joe Talbot for years before Kickstarting a proof of concept and eventually getting into Sundance with short film American Paradise, which led to the backing of this debut feature through Plan B and A24. The deeply personal and poetic drama follows a fictionalised version of Jimmie, trying to buy back an old Victorian town house he claims was built by his grandfather, in an act of rebellion against the increasingly gentrified San Francisco that both he and director Talbot call home.

The film is many things - a story of male friendship, of solidarity within our community, of how our cities can change right from underneath us - it moves to the beat of it’s own drum, with painterly cinematography full of gorgeous autumnal colours and my favourite score of the year from Emile Mosseri. The performances, mostly by newcomers or locals outside of brilliant turns from Jonathan Majors, Danny Glover and Thora Birch, are wonderful and the whole thing is such a beautiful love letter to the city that it makes you ache for a strong sense of place in your own home, even if your relationship with it is fractured or strained. As Jimmie says, “you’re not allowed to hate it unless you love it”.

For me, last year’s Blindspotting (my favourite film of the year) tackled gentrification within California more succinctly but this much more lyrical piece of work ebbs and flows through a number of themes like identity, family, memory and time. It’s a big film living inside a small, personal one and it is not to be overlooked.

6. Little Women

I had neither read the book nor seen any prior adaptation of Louisa May Alcott’s 1868 novel so to me, this is by default the definitive telling of this story. If from what I hear, the non linear structure is Greta Gerwig’s addition, then it’s a total slam dunk. It works so well in breaking up the narrative and by jumping from past to present, her screenplay highlights certain moments and decisions with a palpable sense of irony, emotional weight or knowing wink. Getting to see a statement made with sincere conviction and then paid off within seconds, can be both a joy and a surefire recipe for tears. Whether it’s the devastating contrast between scenes centred around Beth’s illness or the juxtaposition of character’s attitudes to one another, it’s a massive triumph. Watching Amy angrily tell Laurie how she’s been in love with him all her life and then cutting back to her childishly making a plaster cast of her foot for him (’to remind him how small her feet are’) is so funny. 

Gerwig and her impeccable cast bring an electric energy to the period setting, capturing the big, messy realities of family life with a mix of overwhelming cross-chatter and the smallest of intimate gestures. It’s a testament to the film that every sister feels fully serviced and represented, from Beth’s quiet strength to Amy’s unforgivable sibling rivalry. Chris Cooper’s turn as a stoic man suffering almost imperceptible grief is a personal heartbreaking favourite. 

The book’s (I’m assuming) most sweeping romantic statements are wonderfully delivered, full of urgent passion and relatable heartache, from Marmie’s (Laura Dern) “I’m angry nearly every day of my life” moment to Jo’s (Saoirse Ronan) painful defiance of feminine attributes not being enough to cure her loneliness. The sheer amount of heart and warmth in this is just remarkable and I can easily see it being a film I return to again and again.

5. Booksmart

2019 has been a banner year for female directors, making their exclusion from some of the early awards conversations all the more damning. From this list alone, we have Lulu Wang, Jennifer Kent and Greta Gerwig. Not to mention Lorene Scafaria (Hustlers), Melina Matsoukas (Queen & Slim), Jocelyn DeBoer & Dawn Luebbe (Greener Grass), Sophie Hyde (Animals) and Rose Glass (Saint Maud - watch out for THIS one in 2020, it’s brilliant). Perhaps the most natural transition from in front of to behind the camera has been made by Olivia Wilde, who has created a borderline perfect teen comedy that can make you laugh till you cry, cry till you laugh and everything in-between.

Subverting the (usually male focused) ‘one last party before college’ tropes that fuel the likes of Superbad and it’s many inferior imitators, Booksmart follows two overachievers who, rather than go on a coming of age journey to get some booze or get laid, simply want to indulge in an insane night of teenage freedom after realising that all of the ‘cool kids’ who they assumed were dropouts, also managed to get a place in all of the big universities. It’s a subtly clever remix of an old favourite from the get go but the committed performances from Kaitlyn Dever and Beanie Feldstein put you firmly in their shoes for the whole ride. 

It’s a genuine blast, with big laughs and a bigger heart, portraying a supportive female friendship that doesn’t rely on hokey contrivances to tear them apart, meaning that when certain repressed feelings do come to the surface, the fallout is heartbreaking. As I stated in a twitter rave after first seeing it back in May, every single character, no matter how much they might appear to be simply representing a stock role or genre trope, gets their moment to be humanised. This is an impeccably cast ensemble of young unknowns who constantly surprise and the script is a marvel - a watertight structure without a beat out of place, callbacks and payoffs to throwaway gags circle back to be hugely important and most of all, the approach taken to sexuality and representation feels so natural. I really think it is destined to be looked back on and represent 2019 the way Heathers does ‘88, Clueless ‘95 or Easy A 2010. A new high benchmark for crowd pleasing, indie comedy - teen or otherwise.

4. Ad Astra

Brad Pitt is one of my favourite actors and one who, despite still being a huge A-lister even after 30 years in the game, never seems to get enough credit for the choices he makes, the movies he stars in and also the range of stories he helps produce through his company, Plan B. 2019 was something of a comeback year for Pitt as an actor with the insanely measured and controlled lead performance seen here in Ad Astra and the more charismatic and chaotic supporting role in Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood.

I love space movies, especially those that are more about broken people blasting themselves into the unknown to search for answers within themselves... which manages to sum up a lot of recent output in this weirdly specific sub-genre. First Man was a devastating look at grief characterised by a man who would rather go to a desolate rock than have to confront what he lost, all while being packaged as a heroic biopic with a stunning score. Gravity and The Martian both find their protagonists forced to rely on their own cunning and ingenuity to survive and Interstellar looked at the lengths we go to for those we love left behind. Smaller, arty character studies like High Life or Moon are also astounding. All of this is to say that Ad Astra takes these concepts and runs with them, challenging Pitt to cross the solar system to talk some sense into his long thought dead father (Tommy Lee Jones). But within all the ‘sad dad’ stuff, there’s another film in here just daring you to try and second guess it - one that kicks things off with a terrifying free fall from space, gives us a Mad Max style buggy chase on the moon and sidesteps into horror for one particular set-piece involving a rabid baboon in zero G! It manages to feel so completely nuts, so episodic in structure, that I understand why a lot of people were turned off - feeling that the overall film was too scattershot to land the drama or too pondering to have any fun with. I get the criticisms but for me, both elements worked in tandem, propelling Pitt on this (assumed) one way journey at a crazy pace whilst sitting back and languishing in the ‘bigger themes’ more associated with a Malik or Kubrick film. Something that Pitt can sell me on in his sleep by this point.

I loved the visuals from cinematographer Hoyte van Hoytema (Interstellar), loved the imagination and flair of the script from director James Gray and Ethan Gross and loved the score by Max Richter (with Lorne Balfe and Nils Frahm) but most of all, loved Pitt, proving that sometimes a lot less, is a lot more. The sting of hearing the one thing he surely knew (but hoped he wouldn’t) be destined to hear from his absent father, acted almost entirely in his eyes during a third act confrontation, summed up the movie’s brilliance for me - so much so that I can forgive some of the more outlandish ‘Mr Hyde’ moments of this thing’s alter ego... like, say, riding a piece of damaged hull like a surfboard through a meteor debris field! 

3. Avengers: Endgame

It’s no secret that I think Marvel, the MCU in particular, have been going from strength to strength in recent years, slowly but surely taking bigger risks with filmmakers (the bonkers Taika Waititi, the indie darlings of Ryan Coogler, Cate Shortland and Chloe Zhao) whilst also carefully crafting an entertaining, interconnected universe of characters and stories. But what is the point of building up any movie ‘universe’ if you’re not going to pay it off and Endgame is perhaps the strongest conclusion to eleven years of movie sequels that fans could have possibly hoped for.

Going into this thing, the hype was off the charts (and for good reason, with it now being the highest grossing film of all time) but I remember souring on the first entry of this two-parter, Infinity War, during the time between initial release and Endgame’s premiere. That film had a game-changing climax, killing off half the heroes (and indeed the universe’s population) and letting the credits role on the villain having achieved his ultimate goal. It was daring, especially for a mammoth summer blockbuster but obviously, we all knew the deaths would never be permanent, especially with so many already-announced sequels for now ‘dusted’ characters. However, it wasn’t just the feeling that everything would inevitably be alright in the end. For me, the characters themselves felt hugely under-serviced, with arguably the franchise’s main goody two shoes Captain America being little more than a beardy bloke who showed up to fight a little bit. Basically what I’m getting at is that I felt Endgame, perhaps emboldened by the giant runtime, managed to not only address these character slights but ALSO managed to deliver the most action packed, comic booky, ‘bashing your toys together’ final fight as well.

It’s a film of three parts, each pretty much broken up into one hour sections. There’s the genuinely new and interesting initial section following our heroes dealing with the fact that they lost... and it stuck. Thor angrily kills Thanos within the first fifteen minutes but it’s a meaningless action by this point - empty revenge. Cutting to five years later, we get to see how defeat has affected them, for better or worse, trying to come to terms with grief and acceptance. Cap tries to help the everyman, Black Widow is out leading an intergalactic mop up squad and Thor is wallowing in a depressive black hole. It’s a shocking and vibrantly compelling deconstruction of the whole superhero thing and it gives the actors some real meat to chew on, especially Robert Downy Jr here who goes from being utterly broken to fighting within himself to do the right thing despite now having a daughter he doesn’t want to lose too. Part two is the trip down memory lane, fan service-y time heist which is possibly the most fun section of any of these movies, paying tribute to the franchise’s past whilst teetering on a knife’s edge trying to pull off a genuine ‘mission impossible’. And then it explodes into the extended finale which pays everyone off, demonstrates some brilliantly imaginative action and sticks the landing better than it had any right to. In a year which saw the ending of a handful of massive geek properties, from Game of Thrones to Star Wars, it’s a miracle even one of them got it right at all. That Endgame managed to get it SO right is an extraordinary accomplishment and if anything, I think Marvel may have shot themselves in the foot as it’s hard to imagine anything they can give us in the future having the intense emotional weight and momentum of this huge finale.

2. Knives Out

Rian Johnson has been having a ball leaping into genre sandpits and stirring shit up, from his teen spin on noir in Brick to his quirky con man caper with The Brothers Bloom, his time travel thriller Looper and even his approach to the Star Wars mythos in The Last Jedi. Turning his attention to the relatively dead ‘whodunnit’ genre, Knives Out is a perfect example of how to celebrate everything that excites you about a genre whilst weaponizing it’s tropes against your audience’s baggage and preconceptions.

An impeccable cast have the time of their lives here, revelling in playing self obsessed narcissists who scramble to punt the blame around when the family’s patriarch, a successful crime novelist (Christopher Plummer), winds up dead. Of course there’s something fishy going on so Daniel Craig’s brilliantly dry southern detective Benoit Blanc is called in to investigate.There are plenty of standouts here, from Don Johnson’s ignorant alpha wannabe Richard to Michael Shannon’s ferocious eldest son Walt to Chris Evan’s sweater wearing jock Ransom, full of unchecked, white privilege swagger. But the surprise was the wholly sympathetic, meek, vomit prone Marta, played brilliantly by Ana de Armas, cast against her usual type of sultry bombshell (Knock Knock, Blade Runner 2049), to spearhead the biggest shake up of the genre conventions. To go into more detail would begin to tread into spoiler territory but by flipping the audience’s engagement with the detective, we’re suddenly on the receiving end of the scrutiny and the tension derived from this switcheroo is genius and opens up the second act of the story immensely.

The whole thing is so lovingly crafted and the script is one of the tightest I’ve seen in years. The amount of setup and payoff here is staggering and never not hugely satisfying, especially as it heads into it’s final stretch. It really gives you some hope that you could have such a dense, plotty, character driven idea for a story and that it could survive the transition from page to screen intact and for the finished product to work as well as it does. I really hope Johnson returns to tell another Benoit Blanc mystery and judging by the roaring box office success (currently over $200 million worldwide for a non IP original), I certainly believe he will.

1. Eighth Grade

My film of the year is another example of the power of cinema to put us in other people’s shoes and to discover the traits, fears, joys and insecurities that we all share irregardless. It may shock you to learn this but I have never been a 13 year old teenage girl trying to get by in the modern world of social media peer pressure and ‘influencer’ culture whilst crippled with personal anxiety. My school days almost literally could not have looked more different than this (less Instagram, more POGs) and yet, this is a film about struggling with oneself, with loneliness, with wanting more but not knowing how to get it without changing yourself and the careless way we treat those with our best interests at heart in our selfish attempt to impress peers and fit in. That is understandable. That is universal. And as I’m sure I’ve said a bunch of times in this list, movies that present the most specific worldview whilst tapping into universal themes are the ones that inevitably resonate the most.

Youtuber and comedian Bo Burnham has crafted an impeccable debut feature, somehow portraying a generation of teens at least a couple of generations below his own, with such laser focused insight and intimate detail. It’s no accident that this film has often been called a sort of social-horror, with cringe levels off the charts and recognisable trappings of anxiety and depression in every frame. The film’s style services this feeling at every turn, from it’s long takes and nauseous handheld camerawork to the sensory overload in it’s score (take a bow Anna Meredith) and the naturalistic performances from all involved. Burnham struck gold when he found Elsie Fisher, delivering the most painful and effortlessly real portrayal of a tweenager in crisis as Kayla. The way she glances around skittishly, the way she is completely lost in her phone, the way she talks, even the way she breathes all feeds into the illusion - the film is oftentimes less a studio style teen comedy and more a fly on the wall documentary. 

This is a film that could have coasted on being a distant, social media based cousin to more standard fare like Sex Drive or Superbad or even Easy A but it goes much deeper, unafraid to let you lower your guard and suddenly hit you with the most terrifying scene of casually attempted sexual aggression or let you watch this pure, kindhearted girl falter and question herself in ways she shouldn’t even have to worry about. And at it’s core, there is another beautiful father/daughter relationship, with Josh Hamilton stuck on the outside looking in, desperate to help Kayla with every fibre of his being but knowing there are certain things she has to figure out for herself. It absolutely had me and their scene around a backyard campfire is one of the year’s most touching.

This is a truly remarkable film that I think everyone should seek out but I’m especially excited for all the actual teenage girls who will get to watch this and feel seen. This isn’t about the popular kid, it isn’t about the dork who hangs out with his or her own band of misfits. This is about the true loner, that person trying everything to get noticed and still ending up invisible, that person trying to connect through the most disconnected means there is - the internet - and everything that comes with it. Learning that the version of yourself you ‘portray’ on a Youtube channel may act like they have all the answers but if you’re kidding yourself then how do you grow? 

When I saw this in the cinema, I watched a mother take her seat with her two daughters, aged probably at around nine and twelve. Possibly a touch young for this, I thought, and I admit I cringed a bit on their behalf during some very adult trailers but in the end, I’m glad their mum decided they were mature enough to see this because a) they had a total blast and b) life simply IS R rated for the most part, especially during our school years, and those girls being able to see someone like Kayla have her story told on the big screen felt like a huge win. I honestly can’t wait to see what Burnham or Fisher decide to do next. 2019 has absolutely been their year... and it’s been a hell of a year.

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Prohormones were developed prior to the exploration as well as advancement of SARMs and after steroids. were already being utilized in the body building neighborhood. Prohormones resemble anabolic-androgenic steroids, yet with milder effects on the body compared to steroids.

It's revealed to enhance bone density and also boost the high quality of the bone's design. The body's bone upkeep cycle is reliant upon the tasks of hormones, and also the hormones that sustain bone health and wellness have a tendency to decrease with age. SARMs may suppress this for older individuals in jeopardy for weakening of bones and bone crack.

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A feasible factor for the lack of more powerful effects on muscle mass fiber dimension in today study might be the family member short-term administration of OS and LG. Similar to the BW, the weight of the GM was higher in all OVX rats than in Non-OVX in both experiments. Just the OVX+LG 4 therapy group showed a greater GM's weight than in the OVX and also OVX+LG 0.4 groups, which remains in line with the monitoring of enhanced intramuscular fat in the OVX+LG 4 team. OS has actually been shown to enhance lean body mass as well as decrease overall fat mass. However, as a higher intramuscular fat content after treatment with LG has not been reported to the best of our understanding until now, this impact of a SARM application needs to be thought about as a possible adverse effects. Since the evaluation of intramuscular fat content is very complicated and was not the major emphasis of the research study, just the groups Non-OVX, OVX as well as OVX+LG 4 were picked.

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It's this targeting of certain androgen receptors that avoids the harmful poisonous side effects, making them a risk-free, efficient as well as legal choice. The drugs, known as Sarms, are banned by the World Anti-Doping Company but are extensively available online, including via Google, Facebook, Amazon and eBay. They are implied to resemble the impacts of anabolic steroids in building muscle mass without the major side-effects. SARMs are an option to anabolic-androgenic steroids, checking out of which has possibly crossed the mind of many muscle building specialists. Among their numerous benefits is the virtually outright lack of side effects, which include mood damage, sex drive decline, or, as in situation of androgen prep work-- conversion to estrogens, which disrupt the male body photo. " I sent the supplements off and really did not listen to anything for a long while, and then USADA rang me a fortnight ago and also stated that the fresh, closed items I had sent had actually evaluated positive for ostarine. USADA claimed that they would contrast the ostarine ratio in the items to the ostarine ratio from my examinations.

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Particularly application to body building, there have actually been many logs of customers on various forums using Ostarine as a help to enhance lean body mass as well as strength levels. To date Ostarine has been assessed in eight professional tests including around 600 topics including three efficiency studies. A 4 month Stage IIb professional test enlisted 159 clients with the research study meeting its main goal of an absolute boost in overall lean body mass compared to placebo and the additional objective of muscle mass function. Careful androgen receptor modulators bind to the androgen receptor and also show osteo and also myo anabolic activity. There is a factor for making use of much shorter cycles, and this is to allow your body to acclimatise to the steroids, your body does not like change so might rebel against making use of steroids, what are the benefits of sarms. Until now we can state that it is the very first generation of Sarms and the offered results are extremely comparable to results generated by conventional steroids.

Unfortunately, the human body attempts to be creative and also when testosterone is on the surge, it has a tendency to increase estrogen also. Sometimes even at a quicker rate, due to this throughout PCT it is important to block estrogen from aromatizing to make sure that adverse effects such as Gyno and even muscular tissue loss don't occur. RAD-140 is most generally made use of at 5-20mg each day, with 10mg daily being the most common for 6-12 weeks. During this time people have actually reported huge increases in strength along with 10-15lbs of muscular tissue from the initial cycle. The normal dose for efficiency enhancement is 2-10mg daily for 4-8 weeks. The average results from this are 7-10lbs of LBM, excellent increases in toughness and little to no fat loss.

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The primary causes for bone and joint conditions are sarcopenia and also osteoporosis. Both, sarcopenia and osteoporosis are under continuous research as well as meanings remain in modification. In ladies, hormonal changes such as the decline in estrogen in the postmenopausal metabolic process might sustain the development of both sarcopenia and also weakening of bones.

The first week changeover was immense, without any uncertainty a recurring effect of the creatine as well as beta alanine, and also the option I made to front lots the research for ostarine for 2 days only. Generally, a drug with a 24 hour half would take a week to get to stable state I assume so an option I employ is 2 days of two caps at the beginning rather than the normal one a day really obtains that study approximately level quickly. I acquired around 2 kg overall in 8 weeks while noticeably loosing fat. Overall I assume I navigated 4-5 Kilos of lean muscular tissues and shed 3 kilos of fat without any diet regimen restriction. my diete was 2200 calorie each day for obtain shreds as well as i take strenght as well as keep the muscle i assume its not fake ostarine. As Ostarine has anabolic results, the dieter can cut calories without having to worry about muscle or strength loss.

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Discover moreSARMs UK supplements are an exciting course of supplements which operate as options to prohormones for those trying to find something more powerful than a natural testosterone booster. These "Selective Androgen Receptor Modulators" work by intensifying androgen degrees in the body which leads to huge rises in efficiency and also recovery. Here's where to get SARMS muscle building supplements in our online shop. Over the past 5 years, online searches for SARMs (or "discerning androgen receptor modulators", including andarine and ostarine) have actually been rising gradually. Utilized this to maintain strength on cut, however really enabled me to boost weight on all workouts at maintenance calories, this functions like a mild PH, it is a terrific alternative anabolic.

Across the board, SARMs are considered safer than steroids consequently. Additionally, they're considered relatively risk-free just because scientists haven't discover red flags that raise alarm system regarding these compounds for human consumption. Men and women young and old have participated in various professional studies, taking different SARMs at various dosages for study purposes recorded in clinical journals. The muscle growth promoted by SARMs is what makes them interesting bodybuilders, professional athletes, as well as guys or females wishing to reduce weight. Nevertheless, research study recommends SARMs can additionally assist protect against osteoporosis and also help people who have it.

Unlike prohormones and also steroids, which bodybuilders have generally utilized, SARMs don't aromatize. The elevated estrogen that follows the increase in testosterone from steroids is what triggers their harmful side effects. SARMS increase testosterone differently that does not boost estrogen and lead to estrogen-related problems.

Albeit, just the highest dosage of LG was examined, it seems to be crucial searching for and needs to be explored in the future studies. Alternatively, testosterone supplementation has actually been shown to increase muscle mass toughness in men and also to avoid muscle mass degeneration in orchidectomized male mice (14-- 17). Although valuable effects on sex-related function, individual distress, and also blood lipids were observed in postmenopausal women, management of testosterone in females is questionable considering that lasting studies are doing not have to prove safety and security. In guys, testosterone supplements is associated with a boosted threat of breathing, cardiac, and also dermatologic negative effects. Bone and joint disorders account for about one-third of illness as well as health problem of the senior in industrial nations and also continue to reveal an upward pattern. Subsequently, the threat of falls has increased, and also cracks are ending up being an extra common injury.

It appears that there is evidence that ostarine is progressively showing up in supplements. There are currently 60 products on USADA's High Danger Checklist that contain ostarine. Preclinical researches have actually shown the capacity of SARMs to increase levator ani muscle mass in the castrated rat as well as to increase bone mass and stamina. Effectiveness tests of a number of SARMs in human beings are in onset and have usually shown modest increments in fat-free mass.

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Ligandrol is often referred to as the "very osta" or the "king of sarms" because of it being very discerning like Ostarine yet applying its impacts a lot more forcefully, leading to greater muscular tissue gains. LGD is a strong agonist for the AR in skeletal muscle as well as bone yet very weak in contrast in the prostate. An Androgen is a class of hormonal agents that work as ligands that bind to cellular androgen receptors. All anabolic steroids or prohormones construct muscle with binding to androgen receptors.

The very first generation SARMs do not undergo aromatization or 5-alpha decrease; it is unidentified whether this might present long-term threats. The efficacy and the security of SARMs as function advertising treatment is just beginning to be examined. GSK, the research drug, belongs to a new course of drugs called non-steroidal, selective androgen receptor modulators, which can imitate a few of the valuable impacts of testosterone whilst staying clear of several of the undesirable side effects. The term 'SARMs' mean Careful Androgen Receptor Modulators. Androgen is an all-natural item of the body that allows us to construct skeletal muscle mass. In turn, this can assist to produce muscle mass, boost bone thickness, and motivate fat loss. The purpose of PCT is to return your testosterone back to regular degrees, whilst combating any type of negative effects that try to show up throughout this time around.

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On YouTube, it is tough to divide the serpent oil sales people from real user testimonials, however the basic consensus appears to be that ostarine works for individuals seeking to develop muscular tissue as well as bone stamina. This would appear to fit with the clinical conditions ostarine was established to deal with in the first place. It also fits with what UFC boxers would be looking for in a supplement.

They have actually been made use of in lots of medical and also pharmaceutical research studies across the study neighborhood. At Ligand Chem we guarantee that our products satisfy the industry criteria. One of the most substantial being boosted sports performance, fat decrease and muscle growth. SARMS which stands for Selective Androgen Receptor Modulators, have actually especially designed molecules that uniquely target the androgen receptors in certain cells.

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via Politics – FiveThirtyEight

Even if you knew in advance about the “blue shift” that would occur in states like Pennsylvania — and we did know in advance about it! — it’s been hard to make enough of a mental adjustment for it this week. Numbers flashing across a TV ticker have a certain magnetic power and certitude to them. It was easy to forget that Joe Biden would gain ground once mail votes were added to the tallies because such votes were overwhelmingly Democratic this year in Pennsylvania and most other states.

But just because of that blue shift — and the red shift that occurred in states where mail votes were counted first — that doesn’t mean the presidential race was all that close in the end. Joe Biden’s win was on the tighter side of the likely range of outcomes suggested by polls, but it was a thoroughly convincing one judged on its own merits.

So put aside your anxieties of the past few days and the premature media narratives that have been circulating since Tuesday night. Suppose, instead, that you’d been on one of those weekslong rafting trips in the Grand Canyon (sounds pleasant, doesn’t it?) and woke up to this map:

It’s not a landslide, by any means, but this is a map that almost any Democrat would have been thrilled about if you’d shown it to them a year ago. Biden looks to have reclaimed the three “blue wall” states — Pennsylvania, Michigan and Wisconsin (ABC News has announced that Biden is the “apparent winner” in Pennsylvania and Wisconsin1) — that were central to Hillary Clinton’s loss. He may also win Arizona (he would become the first Democrat to do so since 1996) and, in the opposite corner of the country, Georgia (the first Democratic winner there since 1992). Additionally, Biden easily won Nebraska’s 2nd Congressional District, which could be a thorn in the side of Republicans going forward. He also ran far ahead of Clinton in rural northern states such as Maine, Minnesota and New Hampshire.

Extrapolating out from current vote totals, I project Biden winning the popular vote by 4.3 percentage points and getting 81.8 million votes to President Trump’s 74.9 million, with a turnout of around 160 million. This is significant because no candidate has ever received 70 million votes in an election — former President Barack Obama came the closest in 2008, with 69.5 million votes — let alone 80 million. That may also be a slightly conservative projection, given the blue shift we’ve seen so far and the fact that late-counted votes such as provisional ballots often lean Democratic. I’d probably bet on Biden’s popular vote margin winding up at closer to 5 points than to 4, and 6 points isn’t entirely out of the question either.

The margin is also a bit more impressive in the context of our highly polarized political era, which has tended to produce close elections. If I’m right about the popular vote margin, Biden’s win would come via the second-largest popular vote margin since 2000, exceeding Obama’s 3.9-point margin against Mitt Romney in 2012 but lagging behind Obama’s 7.3-point win over John McCain in 2008.

Biden also defeated an elected incumbent, which is relatively rare. Since World War II, five elected incumbents who sought reelection have won it — Dwight Eisenhower, Richard Nixon, George W. Bush, Bill Clinton and Obama. Trump is now the third sitting president to lose his reelection bid in that time, along with Jimmy Carter and George H.W. Bush.

What about the polls? Didn’t they show a wider margin for Biden? Yes, they did — Biden led in the final national polls by around 8 points. So we’re probably going to wind up with a polling error of around 3 to 4 points, both nationally and at the state level. (Although that will reflect a combination of states like Georgia, where the polls were spot-on, and others like Wisconsin, where there were big misses.) This is, of course, a subject on which we’ll have more to say in the coming days. For now, it’s safe to say that pollsters will have some questions to answer, especially about how they missed in the same direction (underestimating Trump) in some of the same states two elections in a row.

At the same time, this election’s polling error may wind up being fairly normal by historical standards. Indeed, the final polls miss by around 3 points, on average, in presidential elections. The error this year may be somewhat wider than that, but we should wait for all the votes to be counted because margins may shift substantially in some states before results are certified.

In any case, Biden’s ability to survive a polling error of the size that sank Clinton was precisely the reason he was a fairly heavy favorite in our forecast. Biden won (or is likely to win) several states — Georgia, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, Arizona2 — by margins that will probably be between 0 and 2 percentage points, in contrast to Clinton, who lost Wisconsin, Michigan, Pennsylvania and Florida by margins of 1 percentage point or less. Biden’s 89 percent chance of winning the Electoral College included the possibility of nail-biter wins in critical states — although, again, it’s hard to know if this race would be regarded as that much of a nail-biter if not for the timing of ballot counting and the blue shift.

The bigger problems — both for Democrats and for the polls — were in races for Congress.

There weren’t necessarily any huge upsets in the Senate; it’s just that Democrats lost most of the tossup races. Among races where winners have been projected so far, Democrat Sara Gideon is the only Senate candidate favored in our forecast to have lost, and she had only a 59 percent chance of beating Sen. Susan Collins, according to our final forecast. Gideon, however, is likely to eventually be joined by Cal Cunningham in North Carolina once that race is projected, who had a 68 percent chance, although the polling in that Senate race had tightened in the closing days of the campaign following a Cunningham sexting scandal. Republican Joni Ernst held off challenger Theresa Greenfield in Iowa, although Ernst was a narrow favorite in our forecast.

Democrats do retain a chance at a Senate majority, or more likely a 50-50 split in which Vice President-elect Kamala Harris would be the deciding vote. Democrats currently hold 48 seats,3 but there are two runoffs in Georgia on Jan. 5 that are sure to attract hundreds of millions of dollars worth of advertising. I’m a little too exhausted to prognosticate about the Georgia runoffs all that much, but Democrats are at least mathematically alive here in a state that Biden appears likely to win. They also retain some outside chances at winning a Senate seat in Alaska, where mail votes have not yet been counted.

But Democrats underperformed in the U.S. House, where they’ve lost almost every toss-up race that has been projected so far and Republicans have made a net gain of 5 seats and counting. It also appears as though Democrats will underperform in the House popular vote relative to the presidential vote and the generic ballot, where Democrats led by about 7 percentage points. That looks like a significant polling miss (although the House popular vote can take a long time to finalize). In that sense, the election could be described as more of a repudiation of Trump specifically than of Republicans writ large.

Biden did have some shortcomings, however. One major one was his apparent underperformance among key groups of Hispanic voters, especially Cuban Americans in South Florida and Mexican Americans in South Texas. As you can see in this chart from The New York Times, there were huge shifts toward Trump in these areas:

Indeed, even with the addition of Georgia and Arizona in their column, Democrats’ Electoral College coalition is somewhat fragile if it doesn’t contain Florida and/or Texas. It’s not clear yet what the tipping-point state will be in this election — but mostly likely it will be Arizona or Wisconsin, where it appears as though Biden will win by around 1 percentage point. That could mean there’s around a 4-point gap between the roughly 5-point popular vote victory that we eventually expect from Biden and his margin in the tipping-point state, a bigger Electoral College disadvantage than Clinton had in 2016 (3 points).

Still, this brings up one last point: This is the seventh election out of the past eight in which Democrats have won the popular vote for president. If American elections were contested on the basis of the popular vote, this race could probably have been called fairly early on Tuesday night, and we could all have gotten a lot more sleep the past few days. But don’t let bleary eyes obscure Biden’s accomplishment.

[potaetaezz]

|| Sweet Like Coffee || 10

prev << >> next

pairing: Nct Dream x Reader  [female]

genre/au: fluff | teeny bit of angst (to come) | enemies to lovers | Everyone is just a clueless bunch of weirdos, you get the drill… or so you thought.

warnings: slight swearing, immature content, underage drinking

A/N: its’s my first fanfic so no judgment lol | Jaemin is getting friskyyy | Longer Chp | here we go~

_____________________________________

You did end up regretting it. But not what you expected. 

Your lips didn’t meet Jaemin’s, and a part of you was grateful. Something happened to you when you were with him, it was like the rest of the world didn’t exist. You could say anything to him, do anything with him, and there would be no consequences, no regrets. That of course, wasn’t true. The minute you left you regretted your explanation, your candidness of your emotions, your feelings that won you over. You regretted the ‘I care’. You did care, something inside of you was making that very clear. But you didn’t want to. You couldn’t even distinguish how you cared, or in what way. 

There was a darkness, a greyness that inked his eyes, that told you to fall for him. There was a loss of control around him. You hated that. But most of all, you hated his ‘type’. His arrogance, his ego, his cockiness. Everyone always wants the ‘bad boy’, but not you. You craved someone who was good for you, someone who treated you right. Someone like Jeno. But Jaemin was confusing your thoughts, haunting your dreams. And you knew, that if you kissed him, those hazy shadowed dreams would come true. Sadly.

What you needed most right now, what you needed most whenever your emotions became too intimate, was space. You decided to take a step back from Jaemin that day. To take a step back from his bad influence, his dark, bitter eyes, his warmth. You didn’t like when your emotions became too inflamed, overly tenacious. For when your heart was aflame, it was all too easy to be swayed, by emotion, by luring eyes. You needed control, for if your feelings took over your power, took over your actions, you could make some very impulsive, unbearably regrettable decisions. 

                                                                 [7:09am]

You woke up to someone gently singing. A soft but hoarse voice. Lila.

‘How many people have the keys to my apartment??’

“Oh good your awake! Look Haechan’s party, we need-“

“Woah, Lila calm your shit okay, is that even today??”

Haechan’s parties were said to be unreal, and even that was an understatement. Crowds of people flowing in from anywhere to meet people, make bad decisions and have fun. No one knew anyone there, or barely anyone, and that’s what was so compelling. Haechan was basically a modern Gatsby in party terms. Of course, it would be amazing to let loose, have a drink, dance a bit. But you weren’t as sociable as Lila, and you couldn’t drink as much as Renjun. 

Renjun used to be like you, a little bit shy yet speckled with gregarious traits. But he befriended Haechan last year, and since then he could chug a naggin of vodka like it was water. And as for Lila, put her in the middle of any social gathering and she’d shine. You just- you didn’t know where you’d fit in - at the party.

“Yes, yes it is. Sooo what are you wearing?”

“Wearing? If I’m going uhm jeans—”

She interrupted before you could finish, with a half-suppressed laugh emerging. “Oh no honey, it’s a Halloween party.”

Leave it to Haechan to throw a Halloween party 2 weeks early.

“I’ll see.” You spit out, eyes smiling as Lila’s beamed.

———

Sitting down, staring at the empty whiteboard, you could feel something on you. A stare. Someone’s eyes mesmerising your figure, capturing you intently. Your back burned from the glare. You turned around. Fast. In hopes of catching the culprit with smoldering eyes.

Haechan. What a surprise. He always knew how to catch one's attention.

He quirked his eyebrows and passed a note to you. Once you gripped it, you could tell Jeno was curious beside you. Peering intently into its contents. 

‘You better come to the party. This is a personal invitation y/n.’

‘What a Gatsby move.’

You crumbled the note in one hand and shoved it into your bag, making sure both of them watched. He wasn’t going to influence your decision. If you were going, it would be for Lila, or for yourself. Not for some guy.

Your eyes gazed up to Jeno instinctively. He was focusing intently on the work on the board. ‘There has to be something beyond his smile’ you thought, ‘Eyes full of lust, some tantalising charm behind that innocence.’ Your blood warmed at the thought.

“So are you going?” his voice brought you back to reality.

You assumed he was on about Haechan’s party. “I don’t know” You chuckled lightly.

“You should.” His smile almost persuaded you, right there and then.

There was an attraction in his gaze, and you knew hoped he felt it too. You were falling deeper into the wrath of his smile, and you liked it. You wished nothing more than to reach over and fuse your smile with his. Nothing more than to simply talk with him, read with him, stay with him. Your feelings grew deeper and you hadn’t even noticed. Spending time with Jaemin really did confuse you. Little were you aware of how deep your feelings ran, in your veins, in your pulse. Little did you know how your tensions drowned away with the smile on his face. You weren’t an affectionate, sappy person, and you definitely weren’t good at expressing or understanding your emotions. Oh but only if you were. Haechan’s party would’ve gone a lot differently.

———

Arriving home, you noticed Ten was already there. Sitting right in front of the television, remote control in his hand.

“How was school?” He asked, trying to act brotherly.

“Do you care?” you laughed.

“Not really.” and he smiled brightly. “You going to Haechan’s party?”

You shook your head. As much as you like socializing, reading a book snuggled up with chamomile tea in your hand definitely beat it. During your final class, you had reached the conclusion that you were not going. You didn’t see the point, and at home, you could catch up on many missed episodes of your new binge tv show. ‘They’ll be fine without me’. 

lunalila560 : comin to Haechan’s?? [5:53]

imaginey/n :nahhh, too tired   [5:55]

——

[6:16]

A knock came from the door and in stepped Lila. She brought with her a huge blue gear bag filled with her most stylish clothes and makeup, because your most stylish clothes were probably your Christmas pajamas. She wore a short pink dress, with a black cropped denim jacket resting delicately on her shoulders. Black heels embraced her slender feet. Her hair was tied in two loose braids, with white glitter sprinkled casually over. Her makeup was classic with a dash of extra glitter to contrast. She was beautiful as always, and you were still in your pajamas, stuffing your face with popcorn as if watching a fashion show.

“Okay so…” she began. She held out a clothes hanger, your new Halloween costume hanging from it. “You’re coming, I don’t care what you say.”

You rolled your eyes but didn’t protest. Lila had clearly put effort into your costume, knowing fully well you would’ve actually worn jeans. She was always so organised like that.

“So what am I?” You sat on the edge of the couch, leaning into her beaming eyes, curious of her plans.

“Lara Croft.”

You nearly choked on air as your eyes filled with uncertainty. Ten chimed in with appreciation. You shook your head but she argued; “Just trust me.”

Lila knew you so well, too well in fact. The outfit was unarguably perfect for you. Not too revealing, comfortable, something you could dance in. She wanted you to wear shorts, but knowing you, she chose green cargo pants with a slit around the thigh instead. 

She plaited your hair, pulling out the messy bits at the front. Made your makeup look effortlessly casual. Smeared brown paint like ‘dirt’ on your body and grey tank top. Tied a bandage around the slit in your pants as if you were injured. And of course, who could forget a (toy) gun in your hand. You couldn’t deny you actually liked it. 

———

Lila walked beside you up Haechan’s driveway, wearing her version of ‘Jessica Rabbit’. Your breath trembled. You could already hear the music. There were a few people outside. You were late, by approximately 2 hours, which meant the party already started. You gulped. Butterflies dancing in your stomach. No. Wasps, stinging. 

By the time you had reached the porch, it was too late. Lila’s arm linked in yours preventing your escape. The sweat clammed your palms, and your armpits, which you prayed the dirt could hide the stains. Before Lila grabbed the doorknob, her eyes met yours. Telling you that it was going to be okay, that it was safe, that you should breathe. Little did she know the reason for your racing heart. But before you could blink, she pulled the door open, music shrieking in your ears.

The party was loud, real loud.

The house was beautifully designed, but there were way too many people to appreciate it. The place was crowded, people everywhere, streaming from the top of the stairs, out of the innumerable rooms up there, and people headed straight into the kitchen downstairs, or what you assumed was the kitchen. The lighting was dim, you could barely make out Lila’s face beside you. People were hanging over banisters, screaming, chanting. Music blaring, deafening your ears. And everyone was clearly very, very drunk.

Lila’s shout met your ear, yet you barely heard her; “Kitchen….drink?”

It didn’t matter for her hand tugged yours into a room, the kitchen. You bumped into everyone, dancing, laughing. You focused your eyes on the floor. You weren’t ready to recognise people yet. You needed alcohol for that. And lucky for you, you were nearly there.

You looked up when Lila came to a halt.

‘Holy shit.’

There wasn’t enough counter to hold all the bottles. From vodka to whiskey, it had everything. You didn’t know where to start. Lila did, however, as she shoved a cup filled with something in your hand. Before you knew it, you too were laughing. You were very nearly drunk on the atmosphere, on the music. You took a gulp of the vile concoction before you felt the heavyweight of a stare settling on you. That familiar glare. You quickly forgot about it as Lila refilled your drink. If anything was going to make this night easier, it was alcohol.

“You came!” 

Renjun screamed beside you. He had a rather large glass in his hand.

“Ms.Croft.” He added, “enchante.” 

A laugh escaped your mouth easily, “And what may you be?”

“Ayy matey, tis’ I, Jack Sparrow.” He completely failed the accent, but A for effort.

“How fitting.” you quirked your eyebrows, “a pirate always does have a drink in his hand.”

He bowed, his pirate hat falling off. Then, nearly collapsing on the floor with laughter. You couldn’t help but laugh with him.

Your eyes wandered to Lila who was already talking up a ‘Joker’. 

The alcohol buzzed in your veins, your body warming up to its comfort. You followed Renjun to another lively room. He began chatting aimlessly with people, and you stood beside him. Your body swayed to the music, feeling looser than it did an hour ago. You were lost in conversation when a finger tapped your back. You turned to see Haechan, standing a touch too close.

“Pleasure to see you here.” His voice engulfed in lure.

“Pleasure to be here.” Words slipped easily.

“Nice gun.” He sniggered, eyes judging it but the smile on his face loving it. You held it out, pointing it at him. You pressed the trigger, releasing a pathetic squirt of water. His hands were up before you could attempt a wink.

He was dressed in a suit, a very Gatsy suit.

He held out a drink, one that smelled sweet accompanied by a strawberry floating on top. He winked, properly, as your hand grasped it. A wink followed by that carefree laugh. You spent some time with Haechan, talking about things you couldn’t remember, drinking things you couldn’t distinguish and dancing, as awfully as you’d imagined. The alcohol began to race, rush through you, bubbling, fizzing. You lost track of time, of faces, of songs. 

“Have you seen Jeno?” you asked.

“Oh, lover boy? Nope.” he laughed

Your heart sagged just slightly. You reminded yourself that these parties last all night.

‘I’ll see him later.’

Yet again, you felt a set of eyes find you within the growing crowd. It wasn’t Haechan, you soon realised for you were with him, dancing. You scanned the room, but there was no one you recognised.

Until there he was, walking sauntering down the stairs, holding your gaze. His eyes wandered from yours to your ripped tank top, down to your boots. Taking in all of you. His stare full of deceit and depth, but none the less intoxicating. He stopped in front of you, looking down at you, into you. His teeth taunted his lip, bit his lip. A smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth. Haechan disappeared, everyone disappeared, as if it was only you and him in the room.

You pulled out your gun, a smile taking over your mouth. “Hands up, Jaemin.”

He did as he was told, hands following your order. 

“And don’t you dare bite that lip.” You added, confidently. 

You traced his outline. His body embraced by a black suit. A white shirt peeking out behind his blazer. A black bowtie drawing your eyes to his neck, and then back up to his gaze. While you were admiring his suit, he pulled his own gun out to point at you. 

“Fair play.” he chuckled. 

“What even are you?” 

“You see, Ms.Croft” he began with that deep voice of his, “I was going to be your prince charming, but now, I’m your savior. It’s Jaemin, Na Jaemin.”

You couldn’t hold back a giggle as he winked. He surely was charming, but he was definitely no prince.

You forgot a lot, but the alcohol wasn’t going to let you forget how close you had been before. How close you had been to his bitten lip or his deceitful stare. 

“Care for a drink?” he asked.

“Of course.” but this time it was you who winked. 

It was when the drink met your lips that his head turned to the corner of the room. Yours followed. It was dark, you were borderline drunk, but you could always spot Jeno in a crowd. 

You dropped your drink. Your breath hitched.

Jeno wasn’t smiling at you, he didn’t even notice you. He was too busy sticking his tongue down some girls throat. His hands roaming her body, his mouth desperate, his teeth tugging at her lip. He was on fire yet your eyes watched, like ice.

You knew there was a part of him that was aflame, seduction lurking inside of him, he just didn’t want to show you. Disappointment tugged at your heart. You wanted to look away, but you couldn’t. You were frozen. You didn’t feel jealous or hurt (maybe a little bit). You felt pathetic, stupid for letting yourself believe that even the tiniest part of him was interested in you. Stupid for beginning to like him.

His mouth tore away from her, taking in oxygen when his eyes found you. Found you staring right back at him, at the girl, at their intensity. You almost saw a dim speck of regret in his eyes, but it was too dark to be true.

You panicked, his eyes still watching you. You looked to the ground, and then to Jaemin. His expression changed, from understanding to pure desire. You inched closer, making sure Jeno’s eyes were locked on you. You closed the gap between your beating heart and Jaemin’s. He looked into your eyes as if he was searching for something. Temptation speckled his iris. His hot breath meeting your cheek. Control disappearing from your grip.

Slowly, the music faded and so did the crowd, so did Jeno. It felt like it was just you two in the room, alone, a fraction away from each other. Your heart raced, breath shaky. His mouth searched for your ear, his voice ragged; “You’ll regret this.”

You opened your mouth to speak when his lips crashed against yours. You pulled away for an instant to see lust overtaking his gaze. Then he devoured you, lips moving in rhythm. Body melting into his. You could taste the desperation in his mouth, feel the want on his tongue as it plunged down your throat. His breathy sounds taunted your ear. His hands worked their way around your body, feeling each crevasse, each line until they settled a bit lower than your waist. Pulling you impossibly closer. His teeth teased your lips. Your mouth felt bruised but you couldn’t let go.

 His kiss was intoxicating. His passion ignited something in you. You couldn’t hold back a slight moan as his lips moved to your neck. Your fingers intertwined with his hair, pulling it. Want racing through your veins. His tongue demanding more of you, until you broke away, gasping for air. For a moment you tasted the alcohol on his breath, and it brought you back to reality. 

His smirk settled on you again.

His mouth dived for your ear once more, nibbling slightly before his hoarse voice spoke. 

“He’s still watching.”

_____________________________________

See you next time -> Wednesday 23rd xx

_____________________________________

[tillidontneedfantasy]

‘Thank U, Next’ - Ariana Grande REVIEW: I think we’re ALL so fucking grateful for her ex

Only 6 months following the release of her fourth studio album, Sweetener (2018), Ariana Grande released her fifth, Thank U, Next (2019). According to Grande, the entire album was written in the span of two weeks with a group of her close friends and collaborators. Inspiration comes at you fast, and boy, did the latter part of Ariana’s 2019 call for some more art. And sometimes the only way to process tragedy is to create something beautiful from it.

Thank U, Next sometimes feels like an invasion of privacy, most specifically on “ghostin’,” a track about grieving the tragic loss of her ex-boyfriend and talented rap star, Mac Miller, while still trying to show love to her then-fiancé, SNL’s Pete Davidson. As beautiful and heartbreaking as the song is, it wasn’t even supposed to make the album, and any listener can understand why, but Scooter Braun insisted. Another intimate track about Miller that Grande did want to share, “imagine,” is a breathtaking daydream of the kind of life they could have shared together. Though much of the album is somber sentiments hidden behind playful melodies, exploring the difficult few years Grande has had to undergo in the limelight at the height of her fame, Thank U, Next is, at the end of the day, a celebration. “7 rings,” (which samples The Sound Of Music’s “My Favorite Things”), “NASA,” and the titular track, “thank u, next” explore Grande’s success, her star-power, and the important lesson she’s learned that she doesn’t need anyone but herself; she’s “so good with that,” as are we.

BEST TRACK(S): “thank u, next,” “in my head”

Pop artists and label executives will study the release of “thank u, next,” for many, many years to come. Discussing all of her most significant and high profile relationships in one verse, throwing shade at her own father in the bridge, the early 2000’s iconic empowered female romcom throwbacks in the music video, and just the title itself, “thank u, next,” all encapsulate a significant pop cultural moment. With this track, Ariana spins tragedy on its head and challenges us all to be positive about what’s to come, to find success in failures (”God forbid something happens / ‘least this song is a smash!”), and to be grateful for our past and the lessons it has taught us.

She isn’t as grateful on “in my head,” a track that reviews her blind spots in a failed relationship. The song begins with a voicemail from her friend, who lovingly but sternly tells her, “You’re in love with a version of a person that you’ve created in your head, that you are trying to but cannot fix…the only thing that you can fix is yourself.” The music is a bit distorted, just like her perception of this person. She claims that her imagination is “too creative,” seeing only the best of him, and that “they” (presumably her friends, just like the one leaving the voicemail) only see the bad, using the biblical tale of Cain and Abel to contrast their perception of this person. Just as her friend reprimands her, she is trying to help someone grow who isn’t willing to do the work themself. “I saw your potential without seeing credentials / maybe that’s the issue,” she contemplates in the outro. We all have had that experience of giving someone too much benefit of the doubt because we love them so blindly, believing we could be the ones to change something within someone somehow without them putting any of their own efforts forward; “in my head” is a good reminder that we usually can’t, nor should we try.

WEAKEST TRACK: “break up with your girlfriend, I’m bored”

Considering the mature content and storyline of this album, “break up with your girlfriend, I’m bored” feels like five steps backward. To make this track the closer instead of “thank u, next,” feels like a complete misfire. Despite its commercial success, this song offers the least out of everything else on the record; the most exciting part is the sample from *NSYNC’s “It Makes Me Ill,” which more than anything makes me feel the overwhelming urge to go listen to No Strings Attached (2000).

THE IN-BETWEENS

The fact that Sweetener was released only half a year prior to Thank U, Next, is present throughout the album, and although Grande went through events that made her evolve personally, she did not have quite as much time to catch up sonically. Songs such as “bad idea” and “make up” are very fun, but do not push her sound forward in any way. However, on most other tracks, that evolution is present in the lyrical content. One topic covered in "needy" and “fake smile” is Ariana’s difficulty balancing her fame and her mental well-being. “Fuck a fake smile" she declares. While this is especially true for Ariana, considering there are cameras constantly flashing her way and so much expected of her, this applies to all listeners as well: it’s okay to not be okay sometimes, and you don’t have to mask your pain for anyone, nor should you. As the process of creating art shows, being honest about your struggles makes the fight against them all the easier.

BEST PROSPECTIVE SINGLE: “NASA”

Immediately following her admission to being needy, she turns the tables around and asks for some space, reminding the subject of the song that she's a star, hence the clever title. "NASA" is an extremely enjoyable track and has all the makings of a successful single: impossible not to dance (or at least bob your head), easy to sing along, not too serious yet still empowering. The main takeaway is that Grande is not going to let anyone drag her under with them, and neither should you.

***

All of that being said, I would like to take a moment to destroy the notion that only despair and pain can inspire art. This simply is not true. The reality is that sadness is easier to access and explore than happiness; we have more words for it, more concrete situations that define it, more stakes in it. I wish Ariana Grande never had to go through any of the things she has in the past few years. But there are two ways that we can handle adversity: let it defeat us, or defeat it. Grande chose the latter with Thank U, Next. Not only is this a great example to set for her fans of all ages, but it is a great precedent for herself, too; the best use of your past is utilizing it as a means to move forward, and so, she marches on. But hopefully there’s some joy-inspired music on the horizon. We’re so fucking grateful for your ex(es) too, Ariana, but we’re ready for what’s next. Grade: 4/5

DISCLAIMER – REVIEWER’S BIAS: I have watched Ariana Grande go from performing on Broadway in the musical 13 to becoming a breakout star on Nickelodeon’s Victorious to becoming one of this generation’s biggest pop stars. I find Ariana’s voice to be phenomenal and for her music to be quite enjoyable. “Into You” is an all-time pop jam. I wasn’t a huge fan of Sweetener, so receiving Thank U, Next so quickly thereafter was a nice pallet cleanser for me. I feel like I spent the entire past year worried about Ariana, as there are many videos of her online crying throughout her shows, barely able to even sing. What I hope more than anything for Ariana is to be able to find the right balance for her to do her job and preserve her mental health so that she can continue to create more pop cultural moments for us all to look back on for years to come.

[fashionbusinessclub]

Small Business Owners: Accounting Is for Profit Planning, Not Just Tax Preparation

An individual may be led to think that benefit is your principal objective in an business in reality it's the cash flowing in and out of a firm which will keep the doors shut. The idea of profit is marginally sparse and just discusses income and expenses in a certain time. Cashflow, alternatively, is significantly more lively in the sense it is worried about the movement of money and from a organization. It's worried about the period in the movement of this currency occurs. Profits don't coincide with their associated cash inflows and out flows. The internet effect is that cash receipts regularly lag cash payments although profits could be mentioned, the company could experience a shortterm cash deficit. Because of this, it's vital to predict cash flows in addition to project possible profits. In such terms, it's crucial that you learn just how to convert your accrual profit for a own cash flow profit. You have in order to keep up enough cash readily available to conduct your business, however maybe perhaps not too long regarding sacrifice potential earnings from some different applications.

Why bookkeeping is required

Help One to function much better as a Company Owner

Make Reliable conclusions Know when to employ a group of employees Know just how to price your services and products Know just how to tag your expenditure items Helps one to figure out whether to enlarge or perhaps maybe not Helps with surgeries estimated costs Stop Fraud and Theft Control the most significant problem is internal thieving Reconcile your novels and inventory management of gear Raising Capital (allow you to to spell out financials to stakeholders) Loans Investors What will be the Best Practices in Accounting for Small Businesses to tackle your ordinary'pain points'? Hire or talk CPA or accountant What may be the simplest strategy and how frequently to get What do you have within my own industry? Identify what exactly is my prime purpose? Can the accountant gauge the total price of my small enterprise Can I help me grow my business with profit preparation methods How do you help me prepare for tax season What are several unique considerations for my specific industry?

To succeed, your company has to be profitable. Your entire organization goals down down to the simple fact. However turning a profit now is simpler said than done. As a way to enhance your bottom line, you want to understand what's going on financially at all times. Additionally you ought to get focused on understanding and tracking that your KPIs. What will be the Frequent Profitability Metrics to Track Running a Business -- crucial performance indicators (KPI)

Whether You Choose to employ a specialist or perform it yourself, then there are some metrics That You Ought to certainly have to keep tabs at all times:

Outstanding Accounts Payable: Outstanding accounts receivable (A/P) shows the total amount of cash you now owe to your providers. Average Cash Burn Average cash burn off up is the pace of which your organization' cash balance is going down on average each month over a specified time period. A negative burn is a good sign because it indicates your business is generating cash and growing its cash reserves. Cash Runaway: If your business is operating at a loss, cash runway helps you estimate how many months you can continue before your business exhausts its cash reserves. Similar to your cash burn, a negative runway is a good sign that your business is growing its cash reserves. Gross Margin: Gross margin is a percentage that demonstrates the total revenue of your business after subtracting the costs associated with creating and selling your business' services and products. It's actually really just a helpful metric to spot the way your earnings contrasts to some prices, and letting you make changes so. Customer Acquisition Cost: By focusing on just how much you really may spend on moderate to obtain a brand new customer, you also can tell just how many clients you want to create a profit. Customer Lifetime Value: You will want to understand your LTV therefore you are able to predict your prospective earnings and gauge the entire number of clients you want to cultivate your profits. Break-Even Point:How do I want to create sales for the own company to generate a profit?Knowing this number will reveal to you the thing you want to accomplish in order to develop a profit (e.g., gain more clients, increase prices, or lesser operating expenses). Net Profit: This really is the one most important number you want to understand for your own organization for a financial achievement. If you're not earning a profit, then your employer isn't likely to survive for longterm. Total earnings contrast with past year/last month. By assessing and tracking your entire revenues with time, you're going to have the ability to get sound business decisions and establish better financial targets. Average revenue per employee. It is vital that you know that this number so you may set realistic growth targets and comprehend strategies to enhance your business processes. The next checklist lays a recommended time line to look after the bookkeeping purposes that could keep you conducive to the operations of your enterprise and enhance your tax preparation. The accuracy and timeliness of those amounts entered will impact the important performance indicators that drive business decisions which will need to be manufactured, on the regular, monthly and yearly basis prior to profits. Daily Accounting Tasks

Review your everyday Cash flow posture therefore that you never'grow broke'. Since cash may be your fuel for the small enterprise, you can't wish to be running close vacant. Start every day by assessing how much cash you've got available. Weekly Accounting Tasks

2. Record Transactions

Record each trade (charging clients, receiving cash out of clients, paying vendors, etc.) at the correct account weekly or daily, based upon volume. Even though recording trades by hand or at Excel sheets is okay, it's most likely simpler to make utilize of accounting applications such as QuickBooks. The huge advantages and control far outweigh the price tag.

3. Document and File Receipts

Keep copies of invoices delivered, all cash receipts (cash, credit and check card deposits) and all of cash payments (cash, check, credit card bills, etc.).

Start a vendors document, sorted alphabetically, (Sears under"S", CVS under"C,"etc.) to get simple access. Create a citizenship document sorted by citizenship date as well as also a bank announcement document sorted by month. A frequent habit would be to throw all newspaper receipts to a carton and attempt to decode them in tax time, however if you don't get a tiny level of trades, it's much far better to have different files for various receipts kept organized while they arrive in. Many bookkeeping applications systems Allow You to scan paper receipts and also prevent physical documents entirely

4. Review Unpaid Bills from Vendors

Every firm must have an"unpaid vendors" folder. Maintain a listing of every one of your vendors which features charging dates, numbers due and payment deadline. If vendors give discounts for early payment, then you might need to make the most of the when you've got the bucks available.

5. Pay Vendors, Sign Checks

Track your account receivable and also possess capital allowed to pay for your suppliers promptly to prevent any late penalties and maintain positive relationships together. If you can give payment dates on net 60 or net 90, the higher. If you create payments on the internet or drop a check in the mail, maintain copies of bills sent and sent using accounting program.

6. Get and Send Invoices

Make sure you include payment stipulations. Most statements are due over 1 month, called"Net 30" in the end of your invoice. With no date, you'll have more difficulty forecasting earnings for your month. To be certain that to get paid in time, consistently use a statement form which comprises the ideal details like repayment conditions, itemized charges, and also your payment speech.

7. Review Projected Cash Flow

Managing your money flow is crucial, particularly in the very first year of one's small business enterprise. Forecasting just how much cash you're going to need while within the forthcoming weeks/months may assist you to book enough capital to pay for invoices, for example your own employees and providers. Besides, you may create more informed business decisions concerning how to pay it.

All you have to is just a very simple invoice revealing your overall income position, expected cash receipts throughout the future week/month and expected cash payments throughout the future week/month.

8. Executive Dashboard (weekly review)

This dash provides you a'snapshot' of one's surgeries on a weekly basis.

It include of Cash on Hand, Cash burn , Account Receivables, Accounts Payable, Items sold, Inventory on Hand, inventory turns, out standing problems in the company, and gross profit margin, new sales drops, customer reductions, customer support functionality, ontime shipping speed and product quality overall effectiveness.

Monthly Accounting Tasks

9. Balance Your Business Checkbook

As you get back together your own personal checking accounts, you want to be aware your money trade entries are true every month and then that you're dealing together with the suitable cash standing. Reconciling your hard earned money makes it a lot much easier to detect and fix some errors or omissions-by you personally or by the bank-in moment to improve them.

10. Review Past-Due ("Aged") Receivables

Make sure you incorporate an"aging" pillar to different"open invoices" with all the amount of days a bill is delinquent. This provides you an instant view of customer payments that are outstanding. The start of the month can be really just actually a fantastic time to ship overdue reminder announcements to clients, customers and someone else that owes you more money.

By the conclusion of your financial year, You'll Be looking at this accounts to Figure out what receivables you Will Have to ship to collections or compose away to get a deduction

1-1. Analyze Inventory Status

For those who have stock, then place aside time for you to re order products which sell fast and identify the others which are moving slowly and might need to be discounted down or down, fundamentally, composed. By assessing regularly (and comparing to earlier weeks' amounts ), it's simpler to make alterations therefore you're neither short nor over loaded.

1 2. Process-or Review Payroll and Approve Tax Payments

Despite the fact that you've got a proven program to pay for your employees (usually semimonthly ), then you want to meet with payroll tax conditions based on national, state and regional legislation at several times, therefore make sure you subtract, deposit and report the applicable tax, social security, Medicare and handicap taxation into the proper agencies on the necessary dates.

Review the payroll outline before payments have been disbursed in order to avoid needing to get corrections throughout the upcoming payroll period. A payroll company may perform all of this to help save time and ensure accuracy in a fair price.

1 3. Review Actual Profit and Loss Circuit Budget and Prior Years

Monthly, take some opportunity to reassess your budgeted expenses and compare these with that which you have ever spent. Are you currently really paying or below budget? Go over the variances and do it as desired

Your profit and loss statement (also referred to as an income statement), either to the present month and year so far, informs you just how much you've got and how much you're spent. Quantify it from the allowance monthly (or quarter). Assessing your actual amounts to your intended amounts high lights at which you might well be spending too much or inadequate, so you are able to make changes.

When you haven't prepared a budget, then compare your present yeartodate P&L with precisely exactly the exact identical prior-period yeartodate P&L to recognize variances and make alterations.

14. Review Month-End Balance Sheet vs. Prior Period

By assessing your balance sheet in one date-June 30, 2015, for example-to a balance sheet by a previous date (December 31, 2014), you obtain a photo of the way you're managing assets and obligations. The crucial thing is to start looking for that which exactly is considerably down or up and comprehend the reason why. By way of instance, if your balances prices up, can it be thanks to raised recent earnings or due to payments from clients?

Quarterly Accounting Tasks

1-5. Prepare/Review Revised Annual P&L Estimate

It is the right time to appraise just how much money you're actually earning, if your assets are moving down or up, the gap between earnings and expenses, which triggered those changes, the method that you're spending money, in addition to pinpointing problem areas, and making alterations to improve margins and sales.

16. Review Quarterly Payroll Reports and Make Payments

You've now already been reviewing your semi monthly deductions accounts. Nevertheless, both the IRS and many countries require annual Revenue accounts and some other residual quarterly obligations. Again, it's better if your payroll supplier completes those files and reports . Your work is to examine to make certain they look fair.

17. Inspection Sales Tax and Make Quarterly Payments

If your organization works at a country which requires sales tax, then be sure to comply with prevent significant penalties. Even the U.S. Small Business Administration (SBA) will help you decide a state tax duties.

18. Compute Estimated Income Tax and Make Payment

The IRS and countries which have income taxation ask that you pay for estimated taxes. Review your yeartodate P&L to determine whether your debt any projected taxes for this quarter. Your tax accountant will assist if needed.

Annual Accounting Tasks

1 9. Review Past-Due Receivables

Now it is the right time to assess substantial overdue receivables and choose whether you think clients will gradually cover, whether to ship delinquent invoices to a collection service or if to publish off them to get a deduction.

20. Review Your Inventory

Review your existing inventory to find out the worth of items not available. Any writedown of inventory equates to some deduction in your own year old taxes. If you don't writedown un-sellable stock, then you're overstating your inventory balance and paying for additional taxation you don't owe.

2 1. Fill in IRS Forms W-2 and 1099misc

The IRS includes a January 31 deadline which expects one to record that on the yearly earnings of one's fulltime employees (W-2s) & most independent builders (1099s). This deadline incorporates mailing copies of these tax forms to those men and women who worked for you personally. Observe: A 1099 form isn't essential for any builders that got less than 600. Look at saving time and preventing mistakes by having an e filing support.

2-2. Review full-year fiscal reports for tax coverage

Get coordinated Collect and save important records (use programs and calendars for assistance ) Create email folders to save bank receipts and statement Store contracts and contracts Track kilometers and auto expenditures Store all essential records for the organization type.

Tax Preparation Tax preparation can be an early perspective and perhaps not an gain preparation event Capture all applicable occasions Identify all of deduction types Capture all meals Meetings --anything had been discussed/calendar Try never to discuss industry average industry cost for food.

[doublethetheories]

Show vs. Science: Exploding Hands?

Hey everyone, welcome to the (long awaited) Bakugou Science Bust!! In this post it’s less about theories and more about finding the scientific inconsistencies in Bakugou’s quirk and finding solutions in the form of mini-theories. The formatting is going along the top questions I had and the results I got. Also warning this ended up being ~1900 words long (before editing) so... yea. 

The conclusion is basically a compare and contrast of the Canon vs. Scientific Bakugou and what differences we end up with. Feel free to reblog with your own theories or reaction to this, since I really enjoy seeing your feedback.

Before getting into the science of it, let’s just recap what we know about Bakugou Katsuki. As explained in season 1, episode 7, his ‘exploding hands’ quirk stems from him sweating nitroglycerin and (somehow) being able to channel that into his explosions. Right off the bat, we already know the science will not allow him to use his quirk the way he does in the show where he uses mere ‘concentration’(?) to set off his explosions. So let’s get into the specifics of his limitations.

Could he actually control the explosions?

Seems like a pretty easy place to start right? It’s a valid question; just because he has nitroglycerin in his system doesn’t mean he can actually control when or if he explodes. (Which is a bit worrying.)

The answer to this one already gives us a few inconsistencies between canon and science compliant versions of this character. Yes, he can control the explosions. If Bakugou is able to sweat nitroglycerin, he would almost always have a thin layer of explosive liquid covering his body. (It can also be assumed that, with this as his power and with puberty having already hit, he sweats a lot.) 

From there, the nitroglycerin in its liquid form can be exploded in one of two ways; heat or shock/impact. And since Bakugou obviously isn’t going to rely on a lighter or Todoroki to help him out every time he needs to use his power, it can be deduced that he’s using impact to create those explosions. Which leads us into our next section,

How would he control his power?

Going with ‘impact’ as the match to the gasoline raises two problems for Bakugou, though. One, he canonically has way more control over his power than scientifically possible, and Two, this boy is a very short-tempered one. Adding his easy-to-anger personality to this (very literally) explosive quirk would be a huge safety issue to both him and everyone around him. Having control over the blasts is possible, but it’d take effort.

So, first off, he would have to fix his anger issues and learn to not hit or slam his hands on the nearest item when something goes wrong. Along with this, he would have to avoid getting in the middle of fights as well (unless he means to use his quirk in it). He might be the most peaceful Bakugou possible, but that won’t stop an explosion from getting slapped.

He’d also need to wear thin but tight long sleeves and pants in order to absorb and dilute the nitroglycerin, making it less likely to explode on unavoidable impacts. 

Now, to address the few options he has that provide at least some for of control over the explosions. 

Initially, snapping seemed like the obvious solution. Not to say that it isn’t an option, since it would work to activate the nitroglycerin in his hand, and if he was snapping while flicking his wrist for more control, then it’d be a totally viable option. The problem comes up when looking for actual damage to be done to the opponent. Snapping his fingers close to them would be enough to stun an enemy, but the power of the explosions he could potentially make measures around the strength of the first two firecrackers from this video.

The next step I took in researching this was finding a directional way for him to clap, in order to exhibit some stronger results than the snap. (Though heads up, even at maximum power, he would not be able to naturally make the huge explosions he does in the show. The gauntlets he has though might be able to help him do that.)

There were many ways for him to, essentially, clap in order to get his blast in the intended direction, but almost all of them require at least a paragraph of explanation in order to get the idea across sans imagery. There is one that came to me almost immediately; it’s from a theater game called Zip Zap Zop. This video demonstrates the clap pretty well. 

With the impact of his fingers on his palm, the majority of the nitroglycerin would be on the palm, therefore igniting it and allowing it to go in a specific direction as he slides his exploding hand forward. 

Sweating Nitroglycerin???

So this part of the research was a lot harder than literally any of the rest of it because in every diagram I found, the sweat glands weren’t connected to anything. Literally no website I went to explained where specifically the sweat glands got their ingredients. This resulted in me taking an alternate route. 

Sweat is the body’s way of disposing of waste and maintaining a steady temperature (woop woop homeostasis), and it consists mostly of water and salt. Sweat glands are also found all throughout the body, hence Bakugou needing to dilute all the sweat with fabric before the excess sweat becomes a real problem. 

Since the “research” was a lot of roughly-averaged math based on conflicting information, the answer is tentative, but generally, yes, it is possible for him to sweat nitroglycerin. The natural implication of it into his body is a separate thing, but if you replace all the water in his body with a 2 parts water 1 part nitroglycerin mixture, his body should hold up along with the nitroglycerin. Surprisingly, it holds it’s chemical make-up holds its own pretty well in the face of water.

Bonus science fact that came out of this section: if the 2/1 water/nitroglycerin mixture was what was flowing through his veins, along with his sweat, his pee and spit would also be explosive. So would the water from his showers or baths since the nitroglycerin would be mixed into it. 

Would he be deaf?

Just going to preface this by saying I am obsessed with Deaf!Bakugou headcanons, oneshots, fics, and art because A, I love deaf representation so much, and B, it’s freaking accurate the show is lying to us he would 100% be deaf and here is why-

According to the National Institute of Deafness and Other Communication Disorders, hearing loss due to exposure to sounds can begin at 85 decibels or higher. To put this in perspective, the NIDCD says that heavy traffic averages at 85 decibels and firearms average around 150 decibels. 150 decibels is also the estimated bursting point for eardrums.

It’s difficult to estimate how powerful his explosions are, but I’m going to use an ‘average pistol’ for this research. I am doing this because firearms use mini explosions in order to fire the bullet, and an average pistol is just an average place to start. A .22 LR pistol falls around 152 decibels. 

Next, instead of going through all the calculations to see how large this explosion is in comparison to his would-be hand explosions, I decided to convert the mass of the bullet to liters (which is what I have his sweat measured in) and see how the two numbers compare. The bigger the number, the more explosive matter there is and the larger the explosion. 

Bakugou sweats roughly .21 liters per hour, based on research on how much people sweat averagely during exercise and having him be on the upper end since he’d be working out hard in order to use his quirk and have actual impact. When speaking of a .22 caliber bullet, the measurements fall around 3.1 grams. Converting that, we get .0031 liters. This number is obviously too small to compare with the caliber of explosions Bakugou is letting off. In fact, bakugou’s explosions are more than 70 times that. 

The (insane) difference between the two number shows us that Bakugou’s explosions will produce a lot more sound than that of a simple pistol. Instead of being just deaf, his eardrums would be nonexistent. HIs explosions’ sound might not be to the same ratio as the intensity but still.. hopefully he looses his hearing gradually over time as his explosions get more powerful, because otherwise, that’d be extremely painful.

(Please note that this section was written before I found these blueprints showing his headpiece as having earplugs, though he would still have significant hearing loss from the explosions he does even when he’s not wearing those.)

Could his skin take the constant damage?

The explanation for this section is less scientific and more of a theoretical hypothesis. There is also a second theory I have that helps defend this question, but I’m probably going to make that its own post. (If I do I’ll come back and link it here.)

Anyways, I think he just used simple endurance training.

It might seem random but the chances that his skin just built up strength over the years of constant, slowly growing damage being done to them. We already know his power grows as he does, and we know that he did use it as a child, so it just got used to it. Sort of like calluses from monkey bars. 

Going off of that assumption, it’s reasonable to think that at first, with his small pops, his hands’ skin was hurt but quickly grew back thicker and stronger. Because that’s how the body works when it’s hurt. When you burn your skin, it grows back with a different texture because it has been burned and it trying to prevent that damage from happening again. So if he’s been slowly building up his skins’ resistance to the explosions, he should be generally alright at this point.

Please remember this is just a theory written without much knowledge f burning skin and not a recommendation. Do not try this at home. :)

Conclusion

Scientific Bakugou:

Whenever he needs to use his quirk, he either claps, snaps, or hits the object he’s aiming for.

In order to avoid accidental explosions, he avoids sharp, impactful movements (smacking, hitting, or slamming things.)

He normally wears thin, lightweight long sleeves along with generally snug pants in order to absorb the excess sweat on his body for his safety and others.

When he sweats, he’s sweating a mixture of nitroglycerin and water. 

His spit and pee are also explosive. 

His hearing is gone completely once he hits highschool, as his explosions reach well over 150 decibels on a regular basis.

The skin on his hands has (possibly) built up burn-calluses from the explosions over the years, growing in strength as the explosions do. It still hurts but the nerve damage is enough to prevent it from being too painful.

Canon Bakugou:*

Whenever he needs to use his quirk, he somehow charges the nitroglycerin in his hand via concentration. ?

In order to avoid accidental explosions, he tries to keep control over his nerves, since that seems to be what causes him to loose control and accidentally release some pops.

He normally wears loose fitting pants and a tank top because apparently he does not fear science.

When he sweats, he's sweating nitroglycerin.

His spit and pee might be explosive but are probably not.

His hearing is just fine with barely any noticeable damage at all, despite the decibels he is constantly being exposed to.

The skin on his hands is normal and undamaged. (Bonus science inconsistency is that he wears gloves in his hero costume, which would mute his power completely. If he even managed to make an explosion in those things, they seem to be explosion resistant, so it'd do more damage to him than anything/one else.)

*I think it should be noted that canon Bakugou's power seems to be tied to his emotions, which I only noticed as I was writing this.

Outro

Despite how long it took, I really had a lot of fun with this project. I’m tempted to make this into a series, possibly doing Creati / Yao-Momo next. I also have a few things I mentioned in the post above that might be part two, three, four, etc.s to this post, but going in the direction of further exploring Bakugou’s abilities. Still need help on deciding which part two option to focus on first though. 

Possible part two’s include: 

another post like this but shorter and about his gauntlets (and hero costume in general, this would probably go more in depth on what he wears in general as well)

a post like this that follows up on my rising question of ‘could he actually control the explosions with neither of the triggers of nitroglycerin’ and going into what other explosive he’d have to use in order to have that chemical interact with the ones flowing through his system (i.e. hormones and nerves-)

a follow up on the fact that I didn’t actually complete the research on his hands being able to / not able to withstand all the explosions over the years

a post dedicated to my mini-theory about bnha having one consistent mutation over everyone who has a quirk

Also the art in the deaf!bakugou section doesn’t have a signature on it and when I reverse image searched it the only account I could find that possibly made it was @maelstrom-prince. So much freaking respect to whoever made it though, I freaking love blueprints for fictional things. 

[supplier-of-peptidesz]

HGH Side Effects, Results, Legality, and More

By George Spellwin

Dear Friend and Fellow Athlete,

For decades, Human Growth Hormone (HGH) has been referred to as the "fountain of youth". It's been used by bodybuilders to cut fat, enhance steroid cycles, and recover from workouts faster. So it's easy to see why many look at HGH as some sort of wonder drug. But just exactly what is HGH? More importantly, what can it do for you, and is HGH safe to use? Keep reading this guide as you'll learn about HGH side effects, HGH results, is HGH legal, HGH vs steroids, and a step by step guide on how to mix HGH - complete with pictures.

What is Human Growth Hormone?

HGH (a.k.a. somatropin or GH) is created by the pituitary gland, and its primary function is to help our bones, muscles, organs, and tissues properly grow during our early years. And it's important that, during childhood and teenage years, your HGH levels remain balanced so that you don't become a dwarf or eight feet tall. HGH benefits don't stop when you're young, though, because you also need plenty of this hormone to keep your muscles full and strong, regulate metabolic functions, have a healthy immune system and repair your skin.

Unfortunately, our body's HGH peaks when we're adolescents and begins to decline from here. This is especially the case when we reach our 30's, as HGH levels begin dropping much faster at this point. Over time this leads to some unsightly byproducts of aging, like more body fat, less muscle, decreased bone density, worse skin appearance, fatigue and decreased brain function.

HGH Results and Benefits

Given all the bad things that happen when our bodies produce less HGH, one huge benefit of this drug is that it can reverse or at least improve aging. Now, this isn't to say that you're going to live to 120 just because you take HGH injections, but you should start to look and feel more youthful by using this drug.

HGH can also help build lean mass. Notice I said "lean" (fat-free) mass because studies have shown that HGH may have little to no impact on muscle growth (1) (2). Even research performed on athletes in training have yielded no proven muscle-building results (3). However, this isn't to say that HGH has absolutely no place in the bodybuilding community because, as I'll later discuss, you can combine it with anabolic-androgenic steroids (AAS) for really powerful results.

This may be especially true in the fat-loss department, where one study revealed that HGH is better than testosterone for melting body fat. The research showed that older men who received HGH injections lost 13% body fat, as compared to the 5.8% fat reduction in the testosterone group (4). Perhaps even more interesting is that those using testosterone and HGH together lost 21% of their body fat.

Another bonus to Human Growth Hormone is that it helps you recover from both workouts and heal from injuries faster. The latter is great for anybody who's dealt with nagging injuries for years that they want to heal finally. As for the faster workout recovery time, well, any athlete can appreciate being able to train harder and more frequently. Imagine how much more muscle you could gain if you worked each muscle group twice every 10 days, rather than the standard of once per week.

HGH Side Effects

As if I haven't already discussed enough great things about HGH, yet another is that you shouldn't experience any side effects with it. Contrast this to AAS, which can have severe side effects depending upon the dosage.

Water retention and joint pain are probably the worst side effects of HGH that you'll experience. Luckily, the joint pain shouldn't be unbearable in most cases, and the water retention will subside when your HGH cycle is over. Some minor problems that you could experience include cold-like symptoms, fatigue, and headaches when using this drug.

One serious issue that you should consider is if your family has a history of cancer. If so, you should definitely visit a doctor and get checked out for cancer because, while GH isn't proven to cause tumors, it can accelerate the growth rate of existing tumors.

Another serious issue is acromegaly, or the thickening of your jaw, fingers, and toes. Acromegaly can lead to the lengthening of your fingers and toes, and cause you to develop the dreaded "square jaw" appearance that many HGH users have - making you look like a hairless Neanderthal However, it should be mentioned that this is normally only a problem in those who abuse high dosages of GH for long periods of time. By keeping dosages reasonable, you should keep your normal human appearance too.

HGH has somewhat of a mixed effect on your cholesterol levels. A study performed on older men and women showed that their LDL (bad) cholesterol levels decreased; however, their triglyceride levels increased (5). One more concern worth mentioning is that those using this drug are also at more risk of developing carpal tunnel syndrome (6).

Is HGH Legal?

HGH is illegal in most countries concerning recreational or performance-enhancing use. In the United States, for example, anybody who illegally sells or prescribes Human Growth Hormones faces up to 5 years in prison and a $250,000 fine. The only way to legally obtain this drug is by getting a prescription for either child growth deficiency or adult growth hormone deficiency. Despite how HGH is not legal in most countries, that doesn't stop many people from getting their hands on it.

Also, keep in mind that all major sports governing bodies have banned GH. Sure, this compound doesn't produce noticeable strength-boosting capabilities (7). But its ability to enhance fat loss, improve workout recovery time, and heal old injuries certainly has some use to athletes. For a while, HGH testing wasn't available to sports leagues because there was no reliable way to test it. However, that's changed quite a bit, and all major professional sports have HGH testing available now.

How to get HGH?

If you don't have a prescription to buy HGH, or a doctor willing to prescribe it to you, then the black market is your other option. There are some underground labs that offer HGH products to anybody through the internet. However, as the term "black market" suggests, you must always be careful when buying HGH online. After all, it could be underdosed, fake, or even an entirely different compound.

One more thing to consider when you buy HGH is that the real version only comes in lyophilized powder, and it must be administered through subcutaneous (into the fat just under the skin) injections. You'll often see some different products offered, ranging from HGH pills to HGH spray - these are complete garbage! Somatropin is a fragile molecule that's really unstable and doesn't stay composed very long at room temperature. If you shake HGH too hard, this can also reshape it and form something entirely different from Human Growth Hormones. Long story short, don't buy HGH pills, patches or sprays.

HGH vs. Steroids

Because Human Growth Hormone and anabolic steroids can both help you build muscle and strength, they are commonly lumped together. However, this is a mistake because they are very different from each other.

First off, HGH is a protein-based hormone produced in the pituitary gland (base of brain). It's made of 191 amino acid chains and controls a number of functions like cell reproduction and repair, and growth of tissue and bones. HGH side effects are typically mild and less threatening than steroids, with the most common problems being high blood pressure, headaches, joint pain, and water retention.

Testosterone, on the other hand, is a sex hormone that's made in the testes. Forming the foundation of all anabolic steroids, testosterone plays a big role in protein synthesis, boosts strength and improves muscular endurance. Anabolic steroid side effects are pretty serious, with users potentially experiencing gynecomastia (man boobs), high blood pressure, high cholesterol, liver toxicity, low sex drive, low natural testosterone and/or water retention.

As you can see, HGH and AAS are quite different from each other in many respects. However, they do share some similarities, namely that they're synthesized naturally in the body, and they're both necessary parts of human development.

HGH for Bodybuilding

Because HGH was and is widely used by bodybuilders and athletes over the years, it's assumed that it has incredible muscle-building and strength-boosting benefits. However, as discussed before, research has yet to conclude that you'll gain any significant muscle mass through HGH (8). But then again, bodybuilders don't take HGH because they've been fooled by public opinion.

This drug has some good effects on fat loss and workout recovery - two huge qualities that bodybuilders benefit from HGH. And these effects are only enhanced when you include GH in an anabolic steroid cycle. Think of AAS as regular-grade gasoline, adding HGH would turn them into higher, premium-grade fuel. You can get better results from anabolic steroids, and use less of them just by incorporating HGH.

So how does HGH work? As mentioned before, GH is secreted by the pituitary gland, usually when you're sleeping or during high-intensity workouts. Once secreted, the activity of HGH normally only lasts for around 10-20 minutes. During this short duration, it binds to fat cells, causing them to break down into triglycerides and preventing these fat cells from uptaking lipids. HGH also binds to muscle cells, leading to the release of growth factors and multiplication of the cells.

Another bodybuilding benefit of HGH is that it travels to the liver and induces the secretion of Insulin-like Growth Factor One (IGF-1). When IGF-1 is released, it stimulates protein synthesis in muscles and encourages amino acid uptake. Research suggests that these actions help to create a moderate anabolic effect that GH lacks on its own (9). IGF-1 also acts very much like insulin and can increase the metabolism of carbohydrates. Higher IGF-1 levels lead to carbs being converted to glucose and used as energy, rather than being stored as fat.

From an overall standpoint, HGH isn't magic for bodybuilders that will help them build pounds of muscle and rapidly drop their body fat into the single digits. However, GH does provide some quality benefits in the way of protein synthesis, nutrient shuttling, and fat loss - all helping you attain a better physique, especially when combined with anabolic steroids.

HGH for Women

Given that most anabolic steroids cause virilization (development of male sexual characteristics) in women, there's a common stereotype that ladies shouldn't use Human Growth Hormone either. But did you know that women actually produce more HGH in their bodies than men?

HGH is safe for women at lower dosages, and they can see some nice results concerning increased energy levels, fat loss, healthier skin, and wrinkle reduction. As indicated in this EliteFitness Forum thread, a good HGH dosage for women without major side effects ranges from 0.5 - 1.5 IU's per day.

HGH Price

Aside from its illegal status, another big roadblock that keeps people from using GH is the high price. It's a great compound to mix with an anabolic steroid cycle...if you can afford it. But for many bodybuilders, it's a little pricey to add just for fat-loss and recovery purposes.

The cost varies based on the brand you're ordering, but it's common to pay anywhere from $3 to $4 per IU of high-quality somatropin. So if you were to buy a supply of 500 IU's, you'd end up paying between $1,500 and $2,000 on average. As I'll discuss below, a typical HGH dosage for bodybuilding is 5 UI's per day, which works out to about $15-$20 for daily use. Maybe you don't have to be a millionaire to afford this, but it's certainly not cheap for a non-muscle building compound.

One more thing to be aware of here: if the price is unbelievable, then don't believe it. Quality HGH - that with 191 amino acid chains - is fairly expensive to produce, so underground labs aren't going to sell it for the same price as Dianabol. If you do find really cheap HGH ($1 or less per IU), it's probably the weak, 192-amino-acid-chain product known as somatrem.

How to use HGH

Okay, so now that we've discussed all the highs and lows of HGH, it should be reiterated that this is an effective drug for certain bodybuilding purposes. This is especially the case when you combine HGH with testosterone, which gives you a great synergistic effect for fat loss and workout recovery. Plus, if you're middle-aged, and beyond, you can't overlook the anti-aging effects of this drug either. That said, let's go over what you'll need to know to run a good HGH cycle by answering some common questions.

What HGH Dosage should I take?

There's no one-size-fits-all formula for how much HGH you should use, and a lot of this has to do with the quality of the product. However, there are some rough guidelines that you can follow until finding out what works for you.

With quality Serostim, you can see pretty good bodybuilding results with just 3-4 UI's a day. With "blue tops" (generic) HGH, you'll probably need 5-6 UI's before you start seeing decent results. If it's really low-quality product, you might even need 7-8 IU's to get the same effect as 3-4 UI's of Serostim.

Assuming you're just using HGH for anti-aging and general health benefits, you can get solid results with only 2-3 UI's per day.

How should I cycle HGH?

As I discussed before, HGH makes for a good drug to stack with AAS. Plus, because this compound doesn't shut down your natural testosterone production like anabolic steroids, you can run it far longer. It's recommended that you use HGH for a minimum of 20 weeks to get solid bodybuilding results.

Again, the quality will greatly determine how much you should use every day. The guy discussed in the thread gets blue tops HGH. Blue tops HGH is a generic made product from China; so I'm betting he's going to need around 5 IU's to get the same results as 3 IU's of a pharma-grade product. As an experienced steroid user, he also stacks HGH with testosterone enanthate, Equipoise, and Dianabol in one cycle, and then testosterone e., Deca Durabolin and Turinabol in another AAS cycle. In all, he runs HGH for 47 straight weeks before stopping use.

When should I take HGH?

When you take HGH, injections will largely depend on your age. Men aged 20 to 50 should release a fair amount of GH at night while they're sleeping; so taking this drug before bed will only suppress your natural output and result in wasted product. That said, most younger and middle-aged men should use HGH in the morning so that you essentially have two HGH spikes - one while you're sleeping and one in the early morning.

For those older than 50, or with a condition that affects a normal release of HGH, you should take it right before bed. This allows your body to mimic the normal pattern of GH release that you'd have with a properly functioning pituitary gland.

How often should I take HGH?

Some people take HGH 7 days a week, which provides good results; however, I don’t think this is necessary. When you get the biggest surge of natural GH in your life, it is during puberty, and it's often in irregular spurts, not a steady source.

A 5 day on / 2 day off pattern is the best route, but most people fall into the (bad) habit of doing it Mon-Fri and then Sat and Sun off - this isn't very good.

This spreads the doses out, but never so you go longer than one day without a dose. I have done it both ways - this schedule and the every day (7 days per week) schedule - and there is really no difference at all with the results...except the above schedule makes your GH supply last longer. Overall, though, the results and benefits are exactly the same. Also, when taking more than 4 IU's of HGH per day, try dividing it into two doses; one in the AM upon rising and the other half at 4 p.m. in the evening.

More than 10 IU's of HGH daily, then divide into four doses: AM, noon, 3 p.m., 6 p.m.

Higher than 10 IU's of HGH daily is not encouraged for the average trainee, and even for the elite trainee until much research has been done. After all, going this high requires T4 supplementation and very often incorporating insulin since the only reason to go higher than 10 UI's of HGH is for forced bulking.

How is HGH Measured?

IU (international units) is a standard measurement concerning amount/quantity, not strength. 10 UI's from a 4mg compound will be weaker than 10 UI's from a 6mg product.

Now consider that when HGH is constituted, we normally use 1ml of bacstat water, which is 100 UI's. So a generic HGH vial that is claimed to be 10 UI's is now effectively 100 UI's due to the water measurement in it. Kind of confusing for sure, which is where I suspect a lot of the complaints about a certain brand of HGH being underdosed originate from. Simply because they do not tell you what strength the product is; instead they hide behind the "IU" claim of so many IU's per vial.

How do I mix HGH?

First of all, you need the following supplies:

One Insulin syringe

One bottle of Bacteriostatic water

One Injection Syringe

[salvatoreschool]

Legacies And Buffy The Vampire Slayer: 5 Ways They Are Similar (& 5 Ways They Are Different)

It may seem unfair to compare and contrast the groundbreaking Buffy the Vampire Slayer to the freshman The Vampire Diaries' spin-off, Legacies. After all Buffy the Vampire Slayer ran for 7 seasons, is considered a cultural phenomenon, a cult classic, and a trailblazer due to its strong female lead.

Joss Whedon, the creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, famously said that he had grown, "so tired of slasher film cliches, especially the dumb, oversexed blond stumbling into a dark place to have sex with a boyfriend, only to be killed. I began thinking that I would love to see a scene where a ditsy blond walks into a dark alley, a monster attacks her and she kicks its ass." How can Legacies compare to such an iconic show?

Legacies is the second spin-off of The Vampire Diaries. In it, we follow the children of important characters from The Vampire Diaries and The Originals.

10. SIMILAR: SETTING

Both shows start in a high school setting. Our main characters, Buffy and Hope, are 16 and 17 respectively. While Buffy is new to this high school, Hope has grown up at her school. However, the struggles they face are similar. While recognizing that they are different than their peers, they want acceptance and to be more "normal."

In addition, both of the schools are in a town that has its own supernatural connection. Buffy the Vampire Slayer is in Sunnydale, the Hellmouth, a gateway for demons to enter Earth.

Legacies takes place in Mystic Falls, the small town where The Vampire Diaries took place. Mystic Falls has a long history with the supernatural. Even Hope's father, one of the original vampires, lived there. Though it has a small town charm, its history is much darker and deeper. The school they attend is full of magic.

9. DIFFERENT: THE TONE

While Legacies does have a much lighter tone than its predecessors, The Vampire Diaries and The Originals, it still is darker than the first couple seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. This may be due to the previous shows casting a shadow over Legacies. As viewers, we know that Hope suffered extreme tragedy and is learning to cope with life and living. This is apparent from the pilot episode.

To contrast, Buffy is excited to be at a new school and meet new people. She swaps trendy advice with the resident mean girls and finds good friends in Willow and Xander. Although it's true that Buffy the Vampire Slayer's tone does change, especially in Season 6, it starts out light with loads of humor.

8. SIMILAR: MAIN PROTAGONIST'S JOURNEY

Buffy and Hope are the only one of their kind. Buffy is the chosen one, the only vampire slayer (until she dies, of course, and another slayer awakens). Hope is the only tribrid: a vampire, werewolf, and witch. Buffy knows her quest but, like most classic protagonists on a hero's journey, struggles to accept it. On the other hand, Hope suspects that she has a quest but doesn't understand her purpose until the last episode. Wrecked with guilt through much of the season, Hope wants to prove that she is worthy of the sacrifice that her family made for her.

In addition, Buffy and Hope are strong female leads. While they have supernatural strength, they also have strong personalities and morals. They both defend others, even if it could mean their own deaths. They care about others and consider it a duty to help and protect those incapable of protecting themselves.

7. DIFFERENT: THE DIALOGUE

Joss Whedon was praised for his use of witty, smart dialogue in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It was another aspect that set his show apart. Due to the praise, Joss Whedon actually challenged himself to do an episode where there was no dialogue, Season 4's Hush. He succeeded in this episode as well, proving that while the dialogue was great, the show's success was due to more than just all the clever words.

The dialogue in Legacies doesn't stand out as much as the dialogue in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. While it has a little lighter tone than the dialogue in The Vampire Diaries and The Originals, it is still dramatic. The humor and wit are mainly missing. The focus is on the mythology of The Vampire Diaries universe, rather than witty teen dialogue.

6. SIMILAR: MONSTER OF THE WEEK

In Season 1, Legacies uses a monster of the week story-telling device. We have a dragon, a unicorn pooping mind-altering slugs, a necromancer, and more. Each monster does have the same goal: Retrieve the keys to release the Malivore. While they are one-off monsters, they are connected to a larger issue.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer practices this same strategy. Each episode had a monster of the week and, for the most part, the conflict was resolved by the end of the show. Also, we have monsters that are connected to the big bad, the Master. This, of course, changes in the later seasons, where we have stretches of episodes revolving around a solitary antagonist.

5. DIFFERENT: THE SCOOBIES

Though Buffy was the heroine of the show, she had her buddies - nicknamed the Scoobies or the Scooby Gang - help out frequently. At first, the Scoobies didn't possess supernatural abilities, but that changes throughout the show. Perhaps one of the Scoobies' strongest powers is to hold Buffy accountable. In the show, Spike (a vampire) tells Buffy that what kept her alive longer than the other slayers is her connections to others. The Scoobies may not be the title characters, but they are just as important to the show.

Hope doesn't want friends or a team to help her, besides Alaric, but she does get a team. Most of the members are supernatural beings. Hope acts primarily as a solo agent. She doesn't listen or consider their advice, thinking that she knows best. Buffy's friends feel uniquely themselves. We have yet to see all the members of Hope's team accomplish the same.

4. SIMILAR: MAIN PROTAGONIST BECOMES AN ORPHAN (BASICALLY)

Many shows and books with a heroic child protagonist willing to risk or sacrifice their lives in order to save others, feature orphans (think Harry Potter). They aren't held back by parental love and aren't regarded as children. In Legacies, Alaric is okay with Hope risking her life but not his own young children (Lizzie and Josie), who are the same age.

Legacies begins two years after Hope lost her mother, father, and uncle. Partly due to her grief, she both isolates herself and risks her life to save others. At the end of the season, she sacrifices her life to save others. Sadly, they won't remember the sacrifice due to the Malivore erasing the memories others have of magical beings. Hope, as a tribrid, is a magical being.

Buffy doesn't start out as an orphan. She has a loving mother and a mostly absent father. In one of the most heartbreaking episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, The Body, Buffy loses her mother. The episode shows us how each character reacts to the loss. Joyce, Buffy's mom, didn't die from anything supernatural, making Buffy feel truly helpless. Buffy's father isn't really ever there to be a parental figure. Even if this only happens in Season 5, Buffy keeps her vampire business a secret from Joyce. Consequently, the hero has to act on her own most of the time.

3. DIFFERENT: MIRRORS AND METAPHORS

Buffy the Vampire Slayer uses many different creative writing techniques like mirrors or metaphors. Its text was layered with a lot of meaning ripe for analytical study. Passion of the Nerd, a vlogger, does a great time analyzing such techniques. In his series, he identifies Cordelia as Buffy's mirror, serving as Buffy's identity prior to becoming a slayer. The fact that vloggers, college professors, and fans can analyze Buffy the Vampire Slayer in such depth and for so many years, shows how well the use of mirrors, metaphors, and other creative writing tools worked.

Legacies is a younger show, with only one season to its name. So far, there hasn't been much creative writing strategies. This could change in the future.

2. SIMILAR: ENIGMATIC BOYFRIEND

In Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel presents a great mystery. Along with Giles, Angel is the only person who knows Buffy is the slayer when she arrives in Sunnydale. Angel gives her a cross necklace for further protection. It isn't until he stays at her house that Buffy finds out what he is a vampire. Later, we find out that Angel is a unique vampire since he has a soul. When the show was new, Angel's reveal was a huge deal.

Whereas Angel might have been hiding his true nature intentionally from Buffy, Landon of Legacies doesn't know his true nature. He doesn't know his past or his parents. Later, due to a drastic death, we learn that Landon is a supernatural being. He is a phoenix, rising from the ashes, from death. In addition, we find out that Landon's "father" is the Malivore. Matter of fact, Landon's parentage makes Hope's family look like a golden family.

1. DIFFERENT: A SCHOOL OF SUPERNATURAL TRAINING

Alaric and Caroline created the "Salvatore School for the Young and Gifted" so that children like Lizzie and Josie would have a safe place to live and learn about their abilities. The idea was to provide a place where they could become stronger and better citizens to each other and to humans. Hope has been learning and improving her abilities since she was a child. She also has the support of her family and the other students with magical abilities. Although Hope believes herself to be alone, she is surrounded by other students who relate to what she is going through.

On the flip side, Buffy doesn't even know that she is the slayer until she is a teenager. She learns that most slayers don't live long lives. While she has Giles to provide one-on-one training, she is alone. Rather than being eased into her gift, Buffy was submerged in the icy water instantly. Later, she does meet other slayers (like Faith) that help her feel less alone, but she remains separate. She may have benefited from learning more about her gift; however, it would have limited her more ordinary experiences.

We'll see what Season 2 has in store for Hope in Legacies. It could be that there will be even more connections with Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

[squipsscribblesheere]

Dangerous

Chapter 1: Unraveling

The marketplace was alive with energy that only those with magic could bring about. It could be seen from the man with flames dancing across the palms of his hands to the woman with long, curled vines covering the skirt of her dress. The simple-minded crowd ooh'd and aww'd at the sights, entertained by their simple tricks. I had to hold back a scoff at the sight.

Instead, I gazed at them from afar as I slowly made my way closer to the crowd, knowing it was only a matter of time until someone saw me and the crowds dispersed, leaving only the vendors to deal with me; if only to make some money.

"Samantha," my sister Elizabeth turned to glare at me, interrupting my countdown. "Must you amble along like so? You have more work after we finish, and I'd rather not spend all day in this wind." She paused in step and speech, looking me over. "And honestly Samantha, you're twelve, stop slouching." Elizabeth waved her hand in the air and resumed walking as she spoke. She took great pride in her vast vocabulary, which was only a small fraction of her seemingly endless knowledge thanks to her magic. A perfect memory, fast-working brain, and sometimes I swear, she could read your mind. All facts she talked about far too much for my liking, like the cocky, know-it-all 15 year old she was.

However before I could open my mouth to give her a well thought snarky reply, a woman let out a bloodcurdling shriek that echoed throughout the market. She was pointing a bony finger at me, frozen in fear. Her eyes were pinned on the dusty gray sash I wore, the dumb sash that told everyone how I lacked magic. I scowled, sick of seeing that look of mortal terror from people once they spotted that sash on a young child. I dreamed of burning the sash in a huge blaze someday.

That and the awful blue and gold dress I wore, with long sleeves that met with my gloves, and a skirt that brushed the ground. I was forced to wear it because according to the royal scientist's theory my "condition" was likely to be contagious. And of course, word about me spread.

The truth is, they don't know much about my lack of magic, only that it's incredibly rare and by so accounts, I shouldn't be alive. Since magic is kind of what makes up the life force of the people in the Kingdom of Mirshik. Its great.

She must be new around here, I thought with a mental sigh. Everyone else had stopped reacting in horrified screams a couple of years ago.

With my presence finally known the wealthy, followed by their servants and maids, began to clear out, their previous goals in the market currently forgotten. They all gossiped among themselves, each telling a made up story about me, every one more ridiculous than the last.

Whispers of, "she's the dead brought back to life," "an utterly horrifying disgrace," and "she's a changeling, but she's not fooling anybody," caught my ear. I just kept a straight face in response, a helpful skill I'd learned to use years ago. So far just another regular day for me.

"Must that happen every time I go to the market with you, Samantha?" Elizabeth sighed in irritation as we neared an old, pudgy fruit vendor who looked anywhere but at me.

"It's Sam," was the only thing that I muttered in response, watching the rocks I kicked with each step. I hated the name Samantha, it sounded like a name that belonged to a regular girl who enjoyed dresses and had magic; any girl but me.

"Samantha," Elizabeth said in a sweet voice. Shards. "I just remembered that I had some more work for you to do later. If you're not too busy, of course." Because according to her I never did enough. She turned away to talk with the vendor to buy some fruits, sure a response wouldn't come from me. And although I bit my tongue and said nothing, there were a couple of choice words directed at Elizabeth floating through my head. I silenced those thoughts quickly, irritated I'd even thought of them. Elizabeth was my sister, after all. And besides, the silence was better than being rude and making things worse for myself. Who knew that that wouldn't require words.

~~~∆~~~∆~~~∆~~~∆~~~∆~~~∆~~~∆~~~∆~~~∆~~~∆~~~

I almost hummed to myself as I worked in the garden later that afternoon, planting flower seeds that would bloom within the month. Of all the work I had to do as my family's serving girl, gardening was the job I could always do with a smile on my face.

I loved the sun on my face, the way the flowers created a beautiful space that I felt at home in.

It was also the one job I could do without wearing my awful dress. I smiled to myself as if sharing an inside joke as I glanced down at the rolled up sleeves of my shirt, and my pale gloveless hands; my family would freak out if they saw my exposed skin. But they weren't around to see, and besides what they didn't know couldn't hurt them.

"Samantha! Sam! Sam!" Elizabeth squealed behind me, pulling me out of my thoughts. I sighed, wiping my dirt covered hands on my pants as I stood up. They were a nicer pair but I couldn't bring myself to care too much about it. Besides, I'd just have to wash them later tonight anyways. I wonder what work she's just decided that I can do for her. I sighed, about to say my thoughts out loud.

Instead I was turned around, sucking in a huge breath of air from almost falling onto my back due to the sudden change. The only thing that kept me from falling was her hand holding onto mine. I found myself face to face with her, her beaming with an almost childish joy

"Elizabeth, what in the-" I muttered, trying to reorient myself. I glared up at her, irritated that she didn't seem to care about anything except her news. She, of course, missed look I gave her; I wasn't even sure she was actually paying attention to me.

"Sam, I got a position at the palace! Can you believe it? At the palace!" She continued, basically squealing as she squeezed my hands tighter and shook them in her excitement. She swayed on her feet, apparently unable to stand from her excitement. I looked up at her, giving her a small smile. This had been her dream since she was 10.

I remember her telling a little 7 year old me about how she would sleep in a luxurious bed, with serving maids to tend to her, and how she'd browse the library, reading as many books as she wished. These were the good kind of memories I held on to.

I opened my mouth to congratulate her, when something in my head clicked. I couldn't believe that I hadn't realized earlier.

Her bare hands were holding my ungloved ones. Not good.

I pulled my hands out of hers, backing away from her. My mind raced with questions that I didn't know the answer to, but I soon would; the idea of which horrified me. What would happen to me when my family found out? What would happen to Elizabeth?

"Samantha, what are you-" Elizabeth broke off, her eyebrows raised. The look of realization when she figured out what had happened came seconds later, as she looked down at her own hands, then to mine. It killed me to see her like that.

For the first time I can remember Elizabeth was at a loss for words. Words but not actions. She screamed, the sound loud and piercing as it rang through my ears. From where I stood I watched as she trembled, looking at her hand as if it were something foreign she'd never before seen.

"Elizabeth dear, what's wrong?" Mother asked, walking outside, tailed by her personal maid.

"Sam, hands." She stuttered, pointing an accusing finger at me. Not even a second later she collapsed to the ground, from fear or touching me I didn't know which.

"What have you done." Mother growled at me, straightening her posture to seem taller as to look down on me better.

"I, it was an accident! I swear! She just came out here excited an-" I began to explain in a rush of words, tripping over every other one.

"Spare me the lies. Maid call in the king's gaurd to take away this monster." She said the words with the deepest hatred I'd ever heard.

"But I swear! I swear it was an accident I, I never meant to do anything to her please don't take me away. Please."

"You expect help from me? You're a monster, a guest I begrudgingly allowed into my home and how do you repay me? You ruin the future of my one daughter, the one person who could finally raise the status of our family after your disgraceful existance dragged us down. The only thing I could feel for you is disgust, for being such a useless fool.

"So you will leave this house in cuffs, under arrest like the criminal you are. Just as you should have years ago." With that she turned away without another word, calling the butler out to ensure I didn't run off before I was arrested. He seemed to almost blend in with the scenery, only to be seen when he was needed. He was just a nameless part of the house that had just always been there, at least to me. Another servant followed him, scooping up the unconscious Elizabeth and carrying her in after Mother.

I just stood there, unable to produce a word or a clear thought in response to those cruel words. I hadn't thought I was that despised in my own home. Those words hit me deep and I knew that they'd always stick with me whether I wanted them or not.

Deep breaths, I told myself in an attempt to calm down and think of something. I couldn't be arrested for a crime that wasn't my fault, that I didn't commit. I glanced around the walls of the courtyard, covered in winding vines and vibrant flowers that contrasted the crumbling broken wall that it was.

I glanced back at the stoic butler, who seemed to look through me. I wasn't sure if he actually saw me, or if that was just part of his butler act. Either way I was about to find out.

With a second of hesitation I darted to the wall, grasping for a vine I could use to climb up. I jad underestimated how difficult this could be. Behind me the butler let out a comically loud gasp.

"Miss you can't do that!" He shouted from behind, sounding breathy. The guy probably hadn't run in the last few years.

I ignored him, fighting the urge to look over my shoulder. I had to trust that I could find my way up faster than the butler could run. There, a vine I could grab onto. I pulled myself up, finding it easier once I got moving up.

"Lady Everly! Lord Everly! The girl is escaping!" He continued on in a screechy voice while still trying to sound pompous. I liked him better when he was silent.

I wasn't far from the top now, my hand was mere inches below it.

"You half-wit butler! I gave you one job! Just the one." Mother barreled out, screeching in a similar fashion.

"You won't make it far. The first person to see you will turn you without a second thought. You might as well just turn back and make this easier for all of us." She continued, talking to my back and sounding more composed.

I paused on top of the wall, listening to her words, a vine in my hand to swing down with. Then, I jumped, choosing to not look back.

[ethenell]

Best Films of 2018, Part I

10. First Man (dir. Damien Chazelle)

“That's one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.“

Everything about First Man screamed "Oscar Contender". Director Damien Chazelle was fresh off his Best Director win for the widely-beloved La La Land - a win which made him the youngest ever recipient of that prize - and was re-teaming with La La Land co-star Ryan Gosling to dig into the life of a modern American hero and explore behind the scenes of one of mankind's greatest technical accomplishments. On paper, it had front-runner status locked in from day one.

Alas, the award season gods had other plans ... First Man sagged at the box office despite a warm response from the critics, and it's Oscar campaign simply never took hold.

For the life of me, I can’t quite figure out why. 

First Man more than meets the high bar Chazelle set for himself with the prodigious one-two punch of Whiplash and La La Land. It succeeds in such dramatically different artistic and thematic territory than his first two films that practically demands reconsideration of any preconceived notions of his limitations as a filmmaker and as a storyteller. 

Chazelle's direction is as tightly controlled and formally ambitious as ever, and the script is rich in personal and technical detail, without ever getting bogged down in either. 

Gosling and Claire Foy - already building a noteworthy filmography following her critically-praised turn on Netflix's The Crown - are terrific at every turn, delivering restrained, affecting performances that deserved far more attention than they ever got in this crowded award season.

As is becoming routine on a Damien Chazelle film, the below the line work is roundly fantastic, with special distinction going to Justin Huwitz's brilliant score - clearly one of the year's best. 

But more than it's myriad technical achievement, First Man soars in large part because it recasts a chapter of history often depicted for the universality of its impact on intensely personal grounds, and in so doing, rediscovers the fundamental humanity one of the human race's defining moments. 

9. Shoplifters (dir. Hirokazu Kore-eda)

“Sometimes, it’s better to choose your own family.”

What makes a family? This is the question that sparked lauded Japanese filmmaker Hirokazu Kore-Eda to begin work on the screenplay for what would become a Palme d'Or winning film.

It's a deceptively simple question which begets layers of gnawing moral ambiguity under even the lightest scrutiny. It is within these layers of grey that Kore-Eda places his central characters, a ragtag group who all live under the roof of their makeshift matriarch, earning a passable living from an ever-shifting combination of welfare fraud, soft-core sex work, and, of course, shoplifting. 

Living on the margins of society, the group maintains a relatively stable existence before making the fateful decision to take in a neighborhood child showing clear signs of parental abuse. It's an ethically problematic moment, but the film hardly lingers on it. It drifts forward with such tender and graceful ease when the other shoe finally drops with the entirety of it's devastating weight, you hardly see it coming. 

As the true scope of the group's messy co-existence comes into clearer focus, we are left to face an uncomfortable truth - despite all of their moral shortcomings, together, the group had found some kind of genuine happiness. It pits the black-and-white moralism of modern Japanese society against the nuanced humanism of Kore-Eda’s characters, and ends up making a convincing argument that neither perspective can adequately encompass the unforeseeable moral fallout of their actions.

Ultimately, Shoplifters is a film about the gritty details and complicated history that lies beneath the surface of our most ubiquitous human relationships. Uncommonly wise and unerringly gentle - even when it's ripping your heart from your chest - Kore-Eda's latest is an absolute masterclass, and the best film of his career.

8. Annihilation (dir. Alex Garland)

“I think you're confusing suicide with self-destruction ... Almost none of us commit suicide; almost all of us self-destruct.“

There are moments (or is it days? or weeks?) in which I can't make heads or tails of this film. It's an enigma. It shifts before your eyes, defying your expectations and challenging your notions until you finally either get up and walk away, or give up trying to understand it and settle for just experiencing it. If you were lucky enough to find yourself in the latter group, then you were treated to a beautifully thought-provoking cinematic treatise on the human propensity for self destruction. 

Annihilation focuses on a team of scientists sent to explore a mysterious (and steadily expanding) phenomenon known only as The Shimmer, from which no other previous expedition has returned. As they move further into The Shimmer, the breadth of its mysteries only expand, taking an increasing mental and physical toll on the team, tasked with finding their way its point of genesis. 

Breakdowns, both mental and physical, are inherently cinematic, but never has a film that conflates the two ever felt so deeply invested in mining the metaphysical connection between them. 

Writer-director Alex Garland’s exploration of this philosophical territory is unyielding, making for a draining, sometimes punishing, viewing experience. Annihilation puts its characters through the ringer and takes the audience along for the ride. But it’s grizzlier moments never feel unearned. 

Every sequence feels deliberate, every shot painstaking, like they’re all pieces of a puzzle that’s laid out only partially assembled in front of us. That it’s left to the audience to piece some things together on their own isn’t a bug, but a feature - this is a film that’s built to linger.

If the comparisons to Tarkovsky’s Stalker feel obvious, perhaps the greatest credit I can give to Garland’s brilliant sophomore effort is this: Annihilation proves itself worthy of the comparison.

7. Cold War (dir. Pawel Pawlikowski)

“Let’s go to the other side ... The view will be better there.”

The Cold War, despite being generally cast in broad geopolitical terms, had real human consequences. This observation may not be novel, but as Pawel Pawlikowski’s moving sophomore film gracefully demonstrates, it can be painfully personal. 

Beginning in Poland in 1949, Cold War follows Wiktor and Zula, who meet in a makeshift musical academy established with the nominal purpose of assembling a touring ensemble based around traditional Polish folk music. But as the new Soviet government begins to exert increasing influence over the group, pressure builds until Wiktor finally flees to the West with Zula reluctantly staying behind.

From there the film takes on an elliptical structure, in which years pass during a momentary cut to black, and we see this fateful decision reverberate through the rest of their lives, with consequences both obvious and unforeseen.

Like Pawlikowski's debut film Ida, Cold War is shot entirely in a high-contrast black-and-white, its images packed within a boxy 4x3 frame. Far from empty stylistic flair, these creative choices pay huge narrative dividends.

Its precisely-framed shots, striking cuts and elegant camera movements come together to form the most distinctive visual language of any film in 2018. Pawilowski then puts this language to brilliant use, communicating with image and montage what he never could with dialogue alone.

The isolation that comes with the loss of national identity; the pain of love separated by political boundaries; the tension between personal satisfaction and artistic ambition. These ideas, merely present on the page, are given tremendous power on-screen thanks to Pawilkowski's exacting artistic vision and the film's incandescent lead performances. 

Despite the fact that it failed to take home any of the three awards for which it was nominated last night, the nominations themselves demonstrate that Cold War has a strong contingent of passionate supporters. Something tells me this contingent will only grow with time. 

6. Minding the Gap (dir. Bing Liu)

“This device cures heartache.”

Skating was an escape. For three boys in Rockford, illinois, skating was a release from myriad pressures that threatened to crush them in their early adolescence. At some point along the way, one of them picked up a camera and started filming.

From that seemingly innocuous decision, we can trace the birth of 2018's best documentary. Even more, it wouldn't be a stretch to call Bing Liu's Minding the Gap one of the best debut films (of any kind) in recent memory. 

The film’s elegant, gliding skating sequences are enough to make Liu's skills as a cinematographer and editor abundantly clear. But technical skill is only one element of film-making greatness. A truly great filmmaker puts their skills to work telling essential stories. The stories that Liu tells in Minding the Gap - stories about skating, friendship, family, and abuse - will shake you to your core.

As Liu's camera follows the journeys of his friends and subjects through the years, its piercing view shows with uncommon clarity how the abuse that they have suffered continues to shape their paths. To his own great credit, Liu is careful not to exempt himself from this intense scrutiny, sitting down with his own mother for an interview that makes up one of the film's most heart-wrenching scenes. 

In the end, it is Liu’s friendship and familiarity with his subjects that elevates Minding the Gap. First and foremost, his presence during his subject’s most painful and intimate moments can’t be taken for granted - that kind of access is only possible when the filmmaker has taken the time to really earn the trust of their subjects.

But their closeness pays further dividends when his camera catches the friends in their worst, most painful moments. In less familiar hands, these moments could overwhelm everything else we’ve come to know about these kids. But instead of reducing them for cheap emotional points, Liu provides the necessary context to continue seeing them as three-dimensional, complex people. Because Liu never loses sight of the goodness in these people, neither do we. 

Minding the Gap’s exploration of the complex emotional repercussions of abuse are all the more powerful because of it.

[punkbakugo]

I have felt that quite a number of the climaxes in this arc have been abrupt and swift wrap ups, so Horikoshi is a dab hand at building up tension and expectations and then bringing reasonable and optimistic/nice resolutions- which when overused gets tedius. All the matches except 4, did the same thing with A on the ropes and then turning it around for a win, a last second loss or a tie but the preultimate chapter to the conclusions all had good cliff hanger pages. M1 we expected Vine to do 1/?

-to do more than she did. M2 set up Momo to do something spectular and although she did it was brief and familiar just more advance and required some thinking over how she’s hugely improved. M3 teased Todoroki but it ended up being Iida doing much of interest. The only match that was not a rise and fall was M4 but people still complained about Tokage being hyped only to be easily beaten (but that’s the price of not developing 1B until now). The tonal shift in M5 takes the biscuit being 2/?-

-more serious and Deku going through real distress. It might be Horikoshi keeping it “child friendly” and compared to a lot of other shounen which usually by now have jumped into darker territory BNHA seems to still tread shallow waters after the scare of the Overhaul arc with climaxes being soft, well meaning and nice, from Aoyama to Gentle, 1B and now knock off Hell Boy. Heck even Endeavour not losing his eye and Dabi maybe even having some remourse made a less consequential end than 3/?-

-what could have been. After All Might’s last stand and Bakugou’s break down, then the mess of the Overhaul arc there has been a big back pedal in tone with more neat wrap ups but it’s already crossed the line. It could be the calm before the storm and all the near misses is like the waves coming to shore and then receeding before the more powerful storms comes crashing through. The absence of the villains besides cameo appearances is very noteable compared to how active they were before 4/?-

-The lack of villains besides snippets makes me think the change is creating a sense of “something big is coming” and these almost “it all works out in the end” kind of resolutions are to provide a bigger contrast when it all falls apart rather than getting dire and miserable too fast and tiring out those emotions too soon. Horikoshi has a way of bringing up ideas and potential directions then swerving only to come back to them much later, Bakugou almost broke down after his first match with 5/?

-Deku, was startled out of it by All Might and well you know the rest where the dam finally broke over 100 chapters later. It could be that Deku’s still fragmenting to get to such a low point. Although compared to Bakugou, Deku has a much more elaborate support system especially if the vestiges help him then he has internal confididants, when he was pushing people away, people help him and he responds positively to the aid so Deku could be written to demonstrate the value of a good support 6/?

-support system to contrast with the consequences of thinking Bakugou could handle everything on his own. That does fit the repeated message of “you are not alone” . I like the idea of Bakugou getting to do for Deku as Deku did for him, and Deku may still need that (especially if All Might dies/ends up in a unresponsive condition and he goes to Bakugou because both boys know the weight this means to Deku and All Might was equally important to them). However ther may be value in not repeating 7/?

things too similiarly to show parallel symbolism. I did like how Horikoshi demonstarted how Bakugou taking on the idea of ‘save to win’, it was not like how fans were expecting it, it did not involve a child or other grander sentiments but by incoporating the development of him trusting others and relying on them in a commanding and “I expect you know what your doing” way that imo was so much better than most fan ideas as his character was intact but I still worry Horikoshi may be avoiding 8/?

-getting too dark after his experiences writing the overhaul arc since he wants the series to be Optimistic. It may be noticeable I have lost my thread. I am uncertain if Horikoshi is working on something and using writing techniques to create the effect (repeated cycles of tension and breaking it to lull into security so that it’s much more alarming when that cycle breaks and he commits) or if this style is coming from him figuring out how and what to write after the Overhaul arc. What gives 9/

-give me hope is that the villains are still pretty dark (their chapter dis-arming Overhaul was unapologetically ruthless) and Hawks situation is still pretty grim. I am rambling now so shall end it here- thank you for follwoing this up and I hope you have a happy New Year and a better 2019. Take care to you and your cats.

i think the cultural festival arc was a good palate cleanser for the overhaul arc, it didn’t need to have big sweeping consequences as it was more or less a filler arc to settle things down and set the scene for later. i think the endeavor arc did what it needed to do, i don’t think he needed to lose an eye, just get the scar for Symbolism. i think the tone was consistent, the tension was never straight up derailed, it did its job to show how things are going with the todoroki family, set up the stuff with hawks, and i think the stuff with dabi was more or less meant to point toward dabi is a todoroki theory considering his emotional preoccupation with endeavor.

when it comes to this arc, there are two parts to it: the matches to show off how the characters have grown and the underlying plot thread with ofa. these matches are also much more isolated rather than plot heavy (outside of 4 & 5) which is why i wouldn’t consider anything within them too climactic. i think if anything with the matches fell short, it wasn’t intentional bait & switches but rather the fact that juggling this big of an ensemble cast isn’t horikoshi’s strong suit.

with deku’s match however, like you said, the fact that deku was in genuine distress with legitimate plot relevant tension made everything working out with ochako’s plan & shinsou’s brainwashing and then the hellboy lookalike yelling at deku for a gag feel jarring and tonally inconsistent. i don’t like complaining about the direction the plot is going based on one (1) chapter because it could be going somewhere completely different, i don’t know, but i can’t help but not be thrilled by this. 

and when it comes to deku’s emotional conflicts i’d relate them less to bakugou and more to iida (especially with iida straight up parroting what deku said to him during the stain arc back at him & constantly worrying about his emotional state) and like. idk, i understand where you’re coming from and i wouldn’t be surprised if the whole “you’re not alone” thing relates to deku’s issue with actually following up on his friends’ offers to rely on them but because of the fact that this has been something built up for so long & pointed out by multiple people, the idea of the thing that finally gets through to deku being the vestiges, a concept which was introduced this arc (i know they were technically introduced during the sports festival but the concept of them being people that can actively talk to deku is very recent) i.e. his simmering internal struggle being resolved by sudden supernatural intervention, is not going to feel like a satisfying resolution to me compared to other character’s similar struggles.

maybe i’m overreacting, we’ll have to see how this works out. like you said, horikoshi could be doing a number of things and i don’t really see him straight up avoiding darker themes altogether so maybe i’ll get the deku struggle i desire at a later point, i just thought it felt like the perfect set up for it here.