#not to be stereotypical but i feel like eddie is so far into the closet he's halfway to mr. tumnus' house

[ofyorkshire]

I love BJ's easy, good-natured sassing.

[steddieas-shegoes]

deep penetration up the field

for @steddieholidaydrabbles prompt 'sports au' rated e wc: 992 tags: secret relationship, football player steve, musician eddie, dirty talk, phone sex (in the loosest sense of the term), masturbation

first, a huge shout out to @thefreakandthehair for basically coming up with the commentator's lines at the beginning of this drabble. and for encouraging me when it comes to a sport that isn't hockey. hope this is a very tasty meal for you 💖

and a thank you to the love of my life in another life @wormdebut, who may or may not have written a part two to this already because neither of us were satisfied with the level of tendernasty kinky shit they got up to here.

“Why are you watching the game? We are anti-football in this home,” Eddie crossed his arms over his chest as he took in what Gareth and Jeff had put on the tv.

“As if you don’t have the world’s most embarrassing crush on Harrington,” Gareth snorted.

“I don’t, actually,” Eddie said, distracted as he watched the man himself on the screen.

“Those tight ends, especially Harrington, they’re skilled at finding the holes and getting that deep penetration up the field,” an announcer said.

“Exactly, Mark. You need a tight end that can play both ways confidently, that’s what sets this team apart,” another announcer said.

Eddie barely bit back a laugh as they focused in on Steve’s face before the snap.

Eddie could just barely see the edge of a hickey on his neck and felt his heart stop.

“Looks like Harrington has no trouble finding willing women,” Jeff nudged Eddie as he left the room to get another beer from the fridge.

He secretly liked football, and probably worshiped the ground Steve walked on as he was most of the reason the Colts had been having an undefeated season so far.

Gareth, however, couldn’t stand any event with a ball, and would judge the hell out of Jeff if he found out he was watching for any other reason than to make fun.

Eddie watched as Steve got a touchdown, something he’d been doing in almost every game this season, doing his stupid dance in the end zone. 

Eddie hid a fond smile when he pretended to play air guitar and pointed at the camera that was focused in on him.

He could feel the heat on his face, knew he needed to get out of the room, but just as he turned to go, Jeff came back in and saw him.

“Are you getting sick, Ed?” He asked, genuinely concerned.

“Nope. Just gonna go finish packing!”

He rushed to his bedroom, closing the door and sliding down until he was sitting on the floor with his head against his knees.

They talked about telling the guys when they meet up in Chicago in two weeks. The Colts play the Bears and Eddie plays The Riviera.

But the more Eddie thought about what that would mean, that it would make it real, the more he wanted to wait.

Not because he wasn’t sure about Steve. Never because he wasn’t head over heels in love with him.

Because Steve came out of nowhere, a stereotypical jock in every way on the surface, an overwhelmingly adoring and adorable sweetheart the moment he was alone with Eddie. It was easy to fall in love with him.

And it happened fast.

One moment they were making it out backstage in a closet, the next Steve was whispering how much he loved him in their shared hotel bed the night before pre-season started.

Now, they secretly met up when they could until they could figure out how to tell the people that mattered.

Eddie would have to be more careful about the hickeys he left, though.

He managed to pick himself up and actually work on packing for Corroded Coffin’s Midwest tour, but couldn’t help smiling to himself when he heard Jeff yelling excitedly about Steve managing to block three guys for his team to get another touchdown.

When his cell phone rang an hour later, he rushed to pick it up, already knowing who it would be before checking the screen.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he sat on the edge of his bed as he spoke.

“Hey, baby. Doing okay?” Steve’s voice was still slightly out of breath, like he’d just ran off the field and called Eddie before anything else.

“I’m good. Are you?”

“Great. We won. I think if we keep it up, we’ll be favored to make the Super Bowl.”

Eddie’s brows raised.

He didn’t really like football, but everyone knew how big of a deal the Super Bowl was. 

“That’s great, Stevie. You heading back to the hotel now or going out with the guys?” 

“I’m hiding in the bathroom, we just got off the field. Think I’m gonna head to the hotel, though. Don’t really feel like going out.”

Eddie smiled to himself.

“Call me when you get settled?”

“Just to hear my voice or for other reasons?” 

Eddie could hear the smirk in Steve’s voice, felt himself start to smirk at the thought of what they could do on the phone later.

“You know I love hearing your voice, but I also love hearing you whine and beg,” Eddie’s voice dropped lower, more of a growl.

“Eddie.”

Steve sounded breathless, almost like when he…

“Are you touching yourself? In uniform?” He told Eddie he didn’t like to risk messing up the uniform, it was sacred, blah blah blah. But Eddie knew exactly where his hand was right now.

“Mhm,” Steve whimpered.

“Jesus Christ, Stevie. Can’t even wait until you get to the hotel? What if someone walks in?” Eddie knew what would happen if he kept talking like this, especially when he could hear the faint movements of Steve’s hand working his cock.

“Don’t care. Need you,” Steve gasped out, ending his words on a groan.

Eddie was hard, but refused to touch himself now, knew he’d be miserable if Steve had to suddenly stop and he didn’t get off.

“What do you think I’d do? You think I’d get on my knees in the locker room, suck you off in front of everyone?” Eddie shook his head when he heard Steve’s breath catch, slick noises getting louder. “Or would you wanna wait until everyone leaves so no one sees you begging to suck me off before I’ve even gotten your cum down my throat?” 

“Please,” Steve begged.

Eddie smirked.

“Go ahead, sweet boy. Make a mess.”

Steve bit back a loud moan as he came, panting into the phone as Eddie talked him through it.

“Later?” Steve asked.

“You’re insatiable.”

[mazzystar24]

i feel like im in the minority who don’t want eddie to have a slut era in general like… idk even without chris it feels so ooc for him to me, like i feel like he’s so far repressed at this point that if he didn’t wind up with buck he would end up just living the bachelor’s life…

and like i feel like that was the whole point of not having eddie and tommy be the couple this season was bc it wouldn’t make sense for eddie to step forward in that way unless it was buck… or at least that’s what i interpreted the initial decision to swap the storylines to be so maybe i’m wrong

i guess after six years i’m just tired of them dragging their feet and i’m sick of them giving them meaningless relationships with zero chemistry rather than just letting them be happy… and giving eddie a slut era would just feel like they’re rehashing buck 1.0 and i’m tired of them reusing plotlines they’ve already used for other characters (and even giving characters the same plotlines again)

like eddie can be gay without having a slut era and i kinda would like them to not play into the hypersexual queer stereotype since they’ve decided to do so w buck

One thing is 3am me is a gremlin and I don’t like her or her brain (that was the time I made that post) also she just likes to make fun of annoying people but so do I and I had seen TOO many posts talking about a straight slut era for Eddie so hence the chaos gremlin post

Normal me’s thoughts on this:

• the reason I don’t like slut era as gay Eddie canon for Eddie is like you said it’s a bit ooc but also imo like I feel like BECAUSE he’s so repressed it’d take a really meaningful and impactful relationship to give him the like motivation/push he needs to get him outta that closet (which was my same reasoning for why I was glad they didn’t do Eddie/tommy like they originally planned- cos buck just never realised it but Eddie like actively represses it and has much more like in depth reasons for it- like buck wasn’t so much in the closet as he just thought that was his room meanwhile Eddie is like in a super bolted chained Houdini level closet)

• I mentioned in the tags but I want to be FLABBERGASTED when buddie canon happens I want to let out an audible scream in shock and wake up my neighbours and realise it only after I get a noise complaint and if they make them both canonically queer it’d feel like a matter of time (funnily enough i said this but about making ONE of them queer when the bi buck rumours were going around and legit the next week or so we get 7x04 and I was right - true I didn’t anticipate bt fans and the fact that it doesn’t feel FULLY inevitable- but fingers crossed I am psychic again and we get gay Eddie)

• while I think the fact it’s so ooc would be interesting because like it’d show how Chris leaving is affecting him I feel like it’d also be a huge disservice to Eddie because his queer arc and experiences deserve better than like strangers and one night stands as a coping mechanism if you get me

• if I’m fully honest even if his queer arc doesn’t end up perfect I just want him to be canon like it wouldn’t be my ideal like honestly if they do a disservice to him I’d hate it but still I’d just take the win because gay Eddie deserves to be free from😔 like even with buck they kinda weren’t great with his arc but my joy at bi buck overpowers that

But yeah sick and tired buddie canon now Tim please😔💔

[take-everything-you-can]

Yours Or Mine

18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

A/N: So first let me just say it has been years since I've been inspired to write smut, but alas Eddie Munson has opened the floodgates. This will be the first installment of many to come as a sort of kink exploration series for Eddie and Reader. I just felt like the year anniversary of all of us loving this man would be the perfect time to post this!

I was so nervous to post this but I've had some amazing people in my corner. @astragreenwoode Thank you so much for everything that you do in editing my stories helping them flow effortlessly. I'm blessed to have you.

To the ever-so-lovely ladies @big-ope-vibes, @bimbobaggins69, and @munsonswife for beta reading and making me feel like posting this wasn't going to be the worst idea on the planet and letting me talk through my anxieties and slutty little Eddie thots.

also can't get over this amazing divider by @newlips

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Fem Reader ( Established relationship)

Word count: 3.9K

Tw: 18+ mdni (if you are underage gtfo this post .... seriously get lost) crude language, f receiving, m receiving, p in v sex unprotected ( pls use protection my people), subby switch if you squint, shower sex, needy Eddie I suppose, slight ball play, some soft dom Eddie

 

College ended up being harsher than you expected, but the full ride for the Cheerleading scholarship the school had given you was more than worth all the trouble you had to keep your grades up. You proudly proved to everyone that the whole ‘all cheerleaders are dumb’ stereotype was just that; an unfounded myth meant to diminish all those involved. After working your ass off throughout High School, you ended up picking one not too far from home. Having to care for your other six siblings alone was enough to drive your parents insane, so the fact that you were willing to make the commute made you an angel in their eyes.

Today ended up being especially exciting for two reasons; cheer practice would be held at your old high school, which also meant you were able to spend time with your beloved metalhead of a boyfriend. Your coach ended up dragging out practice to be longer and harsher than usual with seemingly endless drills and unnecessarily cruel critiques of your performance. It was a punishment for being late. 

Usually, that was something that would’ve set you off, but if you were being totally honest, you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. You welcomed it as a distraction for why exactly you came to practice so late. It was for a good reason, you swear; Eddie decided to take you on a ‘Side Quest,’ as he put it.

He took you on a small detour; pulling you into the nearest supply closet, out of the crowded hallway, and getting his hands on you as soon as possible. Almost as soon as he closed the door behind you, he used all his strength to pin you against the wood of the door. You giggled as he nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, leaving a torturously slow trail of pecks and nips up your jaw. He hungrily stopped at your lips, gently tugging your bottom lip with his teeth.

“Eddie. . .” you breathed out, trying your best to compose yourself as he dragged his hand from your cheek to the curve of your cleavage rising and falling with your heartbeat beneath your uniform. “We. . .we can’t do this right now, baby. I’m gonna be late. You’re gonna be late.”

Your breath hitched in your throat as the cold contrast of his rings on your bare cleavage made your body break out in goosebumps. His deep brown orbs started to darken as they threatened to pull you in and never let you go. As much as you wanted to just lean in and forget about the rest of the world outside this closet, you mustered all your strength to stop him from going forward. You giggled as you placed a hand on either side of his face, bringing his head up to make your lips touch.

“Later, Sweet Boy. I’ll still be here after practice, okay?” you whispered.

A small groan sounded from the back of Eddie’s throat; an incredibly needy sound as he pressed his forehead against yours. Even as he held onto you and batted his doe-like eyes to hypnotize you into staying, he didn’t go any further. He may be relentless, but he respects you.

“Ya promise?” he whined against your mouth.

You hummed in agreement, blindly dragging your hand around to find him as you hooked your pinkies together. He savored the kiss as long as you let him before you left the small room, wanting to imprint it in your minds to give both of you something to look forward to after you were finished with practice.

Around the time your team finished and made their way to the girl’s locker room, Eddie was fresh out of his latest session with the boys from Hellfire. You were the last one to take a shower as the other girls left, planning on meeting up with Eddie where he usually parked his van just like you did every Friday. But he had other plans today, ones that couldn’t wait any longer. As he watched the remaining members of Hellfire and the other members of your team leave the school parking lot, Eddie snuck back into the building to make sure you kept your earlier promise.

The Dungeon Master shamelessly walked into the girl’s locker room and his eyes locked on you as you were just peeling off the sweat-soaked cheer uniform. Every inch of you was flushed in tone; the bottom of your hair damp and your body was covered in a thin layer of sweat as you let your top fall to the floor. You let out a soft moan as you freed your sticky breasts from the confines of your bra. It was familiar to him; the same one he had thrown into the corner of your bedroom as he relentlessly took you to your peak just a few nights ago.

He debated on just staying there, watching you clean your body, but the twitch in his pants he got just from the sight of you told him otherwise. Eddie craved to get a taste of your salty, flushed skin before you had the chance to wipe yourself clean. He was never able to hold out from touching you for long, no matter how hard he had tried in the past. You were just as magnetic as the day he met you. What was it that people said? ‘Opposites Attract?’

Eddie leaned himself against the set of lockers closest to the showers, crossing his arms against his chest as he cleared his throat to capture your attention.

 You jumped in shock as you let out a quiet squeak. Instinctually, you used your arms to cover your chest as you turned around, not expecting anyone to be in here with you, especially not Eddie. But at the sight of him, you lowered your arms and sighed in relief but you rolled your eyes a bit. He was supposed to be cleaning out his van. He had told you it was trashed by the boys after a gig at The Hideout and said he would make sure the passenger side was clean before letting you ride in it this morning over the phone. He now stood before you, a gleam of awe in his eyes.

“See something you like, Munson?” you laughed out, turning so that you were innocently looking over your shoulder and gave him a little shake of your ass that made your cheer skirt follow.

The smirk on his face deepened and made his dimples stand more prominent on his face; it was a look he reserved just for you. He pushed himself off the lockers and slowly but surely made his way toward you.

“I sure do like what I see. But. . .you look like you could use a hand there, Sweetheart,” he purred, sticking his tongue out slightly between his teeth.

“Oh, really?” you teased, meandering your way over to meet him in the middle. He took your hand in his and allowed him to twirl you like you were waltzing, making the short little skirt that adorned your body send him into a trance. You watched his eyes size you up, trailing down from your head to your feet as you gripped the side of your skirt in frustration. How long was he going to take before holding you up on your promise?

“Yeah. . .what’s that old saying? ‘Reach out to lend a hand. . .not to bend the heart,’ or however the fuck it goes?” Eddie slithers his arms around your waist to pull your bare body flush against his clothed form, tilting his head as he gave your nose a small peck. He teasingly kissed either side of your mouth, before pulling you in to crash them against his.

“Fucking finally,” you thought to yourself; though, the heat in your belly only grew hotter now.

“Would you bend my heart, Eddie?” you whispered against his lips, almost as if telling him a secret.

“I wouldn’t dare, Princess. . .” he muttered back against you. As he made your heart flutter when his hands buried in the roots of your hair, Eddie twisted and turned your body around to bring your ass against his growing bulge. He pushed you against the shower's wall and made you arch your back, rough and gentle all at once.

“Now. . .bending you over, on the other hand. . .” he growled into your ear, sending a shiver straight down to your core as he lifted your skirt to reveal your pussy and ass practically swallowing your panties.

“That’s a whole ‘nother thing,” Eddie finished, giving your bare ass a tender slap that made you whine and jump.

The giggle that leaves you turns into a moan as he unwrapped his hand from your damp hair and tilted your head to mash his lips against yours once more. As he turns you around, the cold tile meets your back. Playing with the hem of his shirt before sliding your hand underneath it, you ghost over the trail of hair that led to the bulge in his pants now throbbing with desire. 

As you walk your fingers up his chest with a feather-light touch, you blindly trail over his tattoos engraved in your memory. You had spent many of your shared hours together tracing over the black lines etched into Eddie’s skin. On your laziest of days together, he used your body as a blank canvas to paint your skin a masterpiece of his own, purples and pinks staining your skin for days to come.

Smirking with mischief, you let your hand travel down to tease his cock by cupping him through his pants ever so slightly.

“. . .fuck,” Eddie stutters out, making you whine as he unlocks your lips. “I need to taste you... .now,” he spoke, his tone dangerously laced with need.

Eddie tugs you to sit on the small bench below the showerhead, lowering himself to his knees as he pulls your skirt and panties down. Gripping each thigh, he jerks you slightly forward to get a better angle before burying his face in between your legs. He kneads the soft meat of your thighs on either side, leaving small bruises in the shape of his fingertips and the tender marks of his teeth. Looking up at you with lust-blown eyes, he waits for your permission to continue, Once you give him the knowing nod of your head, he slows down as he notices just how drenched your pussy really is.

“Mmmm, such a pretty little pussy,” he mutters against you, torturously dragging his mouth everywhere but where you needed him to be.

“Tight, juicy, and all mine. Isn’t that right, baby?”

You gasp as you wait for him to touch you, frantically nodding. But that wasn’t enough; not for him.

“I’m sorry,” he laughs against the skin of your thigh. “I couldn’t hear you, Sweetheart. What did you just say?”

You simultaneously whined and groaned with frustration.

“Yes,” you gasped. “It’s yours, Eddie. It’s your pussy. Now, please, please just fuck me.”

“Such a desperate little slut. I’m right here, baby. ‘M not going anywhere. Not when I have such a tasty little snack on a silver platter right in front of me.”

You want nothing more at that moment than to tell him to shut the hell up and stop playing with his food. But before you can utter a word, he cuts you off by flattening his tongue against you. He licks up your arousal from the bottom of your opening to your clit, circling the bundle of nerves for a little while before wrapping his lips around it. You swear to God that Eddie’s trying to destroy you, to somehow devour your soul as he does the same to your pussy. Everything he does to you drives you crazy; severs your train of thought from its track. All that’s swirling around in your mind is Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.

The sound of his tongue lapping up your slick and sliding through your folds coaxed a moan out of you that echoes off the tiled walls of the locker room. It feeds Eddie’s ego full as he moans against your soaking mound, the vibrations of his hums igniting the fire in you and sending the flames higher and higher. As your legs quiver at the intensity and the coil in your stomach starts to loom, he pushes his hands against your thighs to keep you from slipping off the bench and against the wall. You dig your hands into the roots of his dark curls, earning another hum of appreciation before detaching his lips from you to circle his tongue around your clit again.

Eddie looks up at you with a coy smile and hazy eyes, the mixture of your arousal and his spit dripping down his chin as he latches his mouth around you again. He effortlessly slides his finger in and out of you. The sinful slurping sounds that fill the air send waves of phantom pleasure washing over you. It felt something akin to a dream; déjà vu. You gasp as Eddie slips a second finger into you, the cool metal of his rings bumping against your entrance making your pussy flutter around him at the unexpected contrast.

“Shhiiitt, you’re takin’ my fingers so well, Sweetheart. Can’t wait to have that tight little pussy wrapped around me,” he purred against your clit as he curled his fingers against your sweet spot. He can tell by your breath and the way you tremble beneath his mouth that you’re about to snap. It encouraged him to frantically pick up the pace of his fingers and playfully shake his head back against your clit, bringing you over the edge and sending your body into pure bliss. 

Eddie wasted no time drinking up all that released from you, licking up every drop from between the lips of your pussy to where it was caked on the inside of your thighs. It was ambrosia on his tongue, salty sweat and musk mixed with his spit and your release. He was so glad he decided to stop you from showering when he did; you wouldn’t have ended up tasting nearly as good as you did now.

The fog from your mind started to clear as you come back down to earth again, Your breathing returned to normal again after Eddie lowered your thighs back onto his shoulders. He snuggles himself into the embrace of your legs, leaning his cheek into your palm that traveled down from his hair.

 "Well I'd say you definitely lent a helping hand, but now it's my turn pretty boy." He laughs as he brings his fingers to your mouth, pressing them past your teeth and letting them settle, as you suck your arousal off of him. Moaning through closed eyes basking in the reminder of how Eddie made you feel on top of the world, you were gonna return the favor. 

He had always adored when you would get that look in your eyes after making you cum. Your eyes would get a bit glassy and your lids would draw almost as if fighting sleep. No, you weren't fighting to sleep, you were just turning the cogs trying to figure out how you were going to please your man. You had turned the shower on to the hottest it would go, never reaching past a lukewarm. If Hawkins was one thing it was never efficient.

“ I don’t think it’s very fair that I have to be naked and you get to be fully clothed. I think we need to fix that.” he took a tendril of hair that had fallen into your face and tucked it behind your ear.

“Well if you still have the ability to think straight I don't think I've done my job right princess.”  He pulls the shirt from the nape of his neck up and over his head and tosses it towards the pile you had started on the tile floor. Before he can reach for them you are already lowering yourself to your knees as your hands unbutton his jeans and slip his zipper down slowly looking up at him through your lashes. 

“ Fuck me, man.” It comes out breathy and hitched as you tug his jeans and boxers to his ankles. Watching as his dick springs from the second tug down, smacking his stomach as his precum leaves a mess making your mouth water, a reflex making you bite down so hard on your bottom lip you swear you can taste the metallic trickle of blood. He kicks his pants to the side as he takes a seat on the bench you were on not long ago.

The tile was biting into your knees but you had been through worse trying to suck Eddie off, Skull Rock had a particularly awful patch of prickly trees that Eddie just loves to stand beneath. Looking up at him now he had nothing but love for you in those eyes. 

His breathing hitches as you lick the mess off his stomach, mixing it on your tongue as you let a glob of drool drop to the tip of his dick as you take your hand and rub it along his shaft. The size of him always had your thighs clenching. He was length and girth in all the right places. The thought of him filling you had your arousal dripping onto the tile below you. You lowered your head taking Eddie into your mouth swirling your tongue around his tip and across his slit as he clutched a fist into your hair as you began to bob up and down a perfect rhythm you had found he fell for. 

“ Holy shit, Baby, Just like that, yes fuuuck,  Just like that .” His head was leaned back against the wall, eyes closed as the water from the shower mist  hit his chest rolling down his flexed stomach, cooling the heat that was rising within him. You could see a small thank you on his lips as he held out his breath feeling you take him to his hilt and hearing the sound of your throat gag against him, the vibrations of the moan sending a shiver down his spine. 

You had slipped off of his length and licked down to the sack underneath, hands working along as you found your way. A small whimper from Eddie as you took one of his balls into your mouth and sucked along the skin feeling the weight of his need making you moan and Eddie's grip on your hair tightened. He pulled up off of him with a wet pop, his balls were extremely sensitive. A lesson you learned on a rainy day in May as your boardroom hit rock bottom and Eddie had looked like a god coming out of the shower. Letting the spit fall as your hands continuously worked their way up and down his length. 

“ Come on honey Please.” you let out a giggle, one that made him grip your hair hard,  pulling back until you were face to face with him.

 “ Who's desperate now?” Instead of words, you knew he would make you pay for laughing at his plea. Standing fast as he bent you over again just as he did when you first started this little act except this time he brutally slammed his cock straight into you. A whine ripped through you gasping for air around his moans. They were muffled against your skin bending with you as you found a grip on the wall in front of you as the water made everything around you slick. 

Once your hold was solid his grip on your hips let you know his pace was about to be fast and rough. Slamming into you over and over the sounds of his balls slapping against the arousal that was dripping from you and echoing off the walls. The dirty thoughts of how anyone could walk in at any moment to check and make sure that someone was not in any harm, and would instead find you a moaning mess, getting railed in the best way by the freak of Hawkins High. A freak he was indeed. You look at your wrist and see the light bruises he had left not long ago from some handcuffs and his headboard. This then led you to another thought of how he had used those handcuffs in the hideout one night after a long show, a night where he had promised to lock up for the owner but instead, he had you cuffed to a wall and set up on his amp as he played riffs through your orgasms. He had recorded some little tapes for himself. The breathless gruff in his voice brought you back to now. 

“ You in that pretty little head baby? You keep squeezing the fuck out of me with that tight pussy of yours. What's got, you so bot-thered baby? Come on we got all weekend to fuck those thoughts out. Just let go, baby, just let go. Come on sweet thing.“ 

You can feel him closing in on his climax. The hitch in his pace is a telltale sign. You moan and mewl under him pushing back with more pressure as your own climax begins to build and hit that high. 

“ No words hunny? Dick just that good hmm?” you nod as the coil snaps for the second time. Throwing your head back into his shoulder as you ride out your high.

“ Yes Eddie! God Yes! Always so good to me. Always. So. good. To. Me.” as you gush around him he thrust into you a few more times as the ropes of his pleasure begin to paint your walls. The grunts and moans of his release could make you come again just by the way he grips onto you, making sure that you are glued to him. Every single drop of him sealed within you.

He falls flush to you slipping out with a hiss and turns you in his arms as you both stand wrapped into each other's arms. He kisses your shoulder and the crook of your neck. You squish your face against the flat of his chest and the thick of his arm as you let your eyelids drift closed just reveling in the moment as the water washes over you both. He nudges your ear with his nose as you turn your face up to him he catches your lips in a hungry yet slow kiss, letting his forehead fall to yours.

 “ You know I love you, pretty girl. You know that right?” you hum a satisfied tune into his mouth as you kiss him softly.

 “ I love you more handsome.” he lets out a low laugh.

” Not possible .” bringing your face back to his chest. 

“ Yes possible .”  Then everything goes Dark. You can feel Eddie but you can’t see him. You conclude that a janitor had turned off the lights, thinking everyone had gone home for the night. Not the first time that it had happened and it would probably not be the last.  But thankfully Eddie being Eddie knew exactly how to get you out, another time he would save you, your hero. Your freak, Your love.

[babiesteeb]

EDDIE MUNSON'S EPIC BUCKETLIST OF THE CENTURY!

heyooo!! just to preface this is a very very rough draft of a fic i have been working on and i have barely read over it so there is probably a bunch of shit wrong with it. i will be adding more into it and continuing the story but i just wanted to get an interest check and see if anyone has suggestions for bucket-list items.

the premise is that its all canon up to where eddie died. wayne has to move out of the trailer after what happened and steve helps him move. wayne ends up telling steve he wants him to sort through eddie’s stuff and give it to the party as mementos. steve takes the boxes and ends up finding eddie’s bucket-list that he never got to do.

click more to read!

“It’s just ridiculous, Rob. I don’t understand why they won’t just fuck off and let us grieve for a second.”

Steve always had a habit of anxiously twirling the phone cord around his hand when he talked, and this time was no exception. The whole length of cord was wrapped in a bundle around his fist for the past thirty minutes while he was ranting to Robin.

Barely a week after Eddie passed the government was already forcing Wayne into an apartment closer to the center of town. Granted, it was only about 10 miles east of Forest Hills but the feelings that came with packing your nephew’s life up only five days after they died were obviously unwelcomed by Wayne.

Thus, Steve was allotted the responsibility of sorting through Eddie’s belongings and deciding what is appropriate to show to the younger members of their group. Wayne felt it an invasion of Eddie’s privacy if he found things he wasn’t supposed to. Steve still wasn’t sure how he was the better option but all he wanted was to support Wayne.

“When are suits ever considerate? I just feel bad that you have to go through Eddie’s stuff. I mean, you barely knew the dude and it’s very likely he has the stereotypical horny teenage boy shit. No one wants to see that.”

Steve could hear Robin sigh through the receiver, causing him to tighten his hold on the phone cord. He flitted his eyes to the stack of cardboard boxes that sat unopened inside his closet, frowning at the implications of what could be found in them.

“I just wanna help Wayne out. At least we have the answers to what happened. He doesn’t even know what happened and Eddie’s body is still down there…” He trailed off, chewing at the inside of his cheek before continuing, “I just feel fuckin’ bad. You should’ve seen his face when I was loading the boxes up. He looked heartbroken.”

Steve could feel the familiar pit in his stomach open wider at the memory of helping Wayne get his boxes packed. He had never really gone through the death of someone close to him except his grandfather and he remembers just how empty he felt. He couldn’t imagine losing a child.

“Stevie… You just gotta get through it and then I can help you show the kids and then it’ll be over with. You can tell Wayne and he’ll probably be relieved and then we can all grieve together.”

He hated when she made things sound so simple. Steve didn’t even want to look at the boxes let alone rifle through them. It felt like he was given a task any other person would be more suited for.

While Steve had gotten to know Eddie a little better while fighting for their lives together, he definitely wasn’t close enough to decide who got to see what from his belongings. It felt like he was being trusted far more than what should be given to him and Steve wasn’t sure how to process it all.

“I hate when you’re right, Robbie. I guess I should get started then, huh?”

After the two gave each other their farewells, Steve approached the stack of boxes and stood above them. His arms were crossed over his chest and his fringe was getting in his eyes as he stared down at them.

It didn’t feel right. Sitting alone in a room less than a week after a newly formed friend passed and going through their entire bedroom's worth of things felt more than creepy. It felt like an invasion of Eddie’s privacy more than it would’ve been if Wayne did it. At least he would know what Eddie would want others to see. Steve didn’t know a single thing that Eddie would want to be hidden and that scared him.

Steve shook his head as if shaking the thoughts away and simply decided today would not be the day he looked through the boxes.

Maybe tomorrow.

It was nearly a month after Eddie had passed and many pushes by Robin before Steve felt it was right to finally finish the task given to him.

Steve opened his closet doors and plopped down in front of the first box he remembers packing up, dragging it closer to him by a corner. He took one deep steadying breath before he began untucking the box flaps. Once the contents were revealed to him, he immediately noticed a standard-sized piece of paper sitting neatly atop a heap of folded dark-colored clothing.

Whether Wayne placed the paper there or Steve did and just forgot, he wasn’t sure. It felt like it was meant to be seen.

Steve carefully picked the piece up and flipped it over, eyebrows narrowing as he read aloud the header of the paper.

“Eddie Munson’s Epic Bucketlist of the Century.”

It was written in red ink and surrounded by doodles of what looked to be dice, music notes, and various characters holding weapons.

There were eleven bullet points with different achievements scrawled across the page.

“One, finally see Metallica in concert. Two, make an album with the boys. Three, take Wayne to a basketball game.”

Steve laughs at what looks to be a person throwing up as well as a crossed-out basketball next to the third bullet point. What came next didn’t exactly surprise Steve but it did catch him off guard. He remembers hearing about the rumors surrounding Eddie. He remembers he was a part of starting a lot of those rumors. However, the rumor was confirmed on the next bullet point Steve had only heard through whispers.

“Four, go on a real date. With a man.”

Steve could barely get the sentence out before he felt a strong gust of wind travel across the back of his neck. Before he got too far into finding where the breeze came from, his eyes locked on the corner of his room. Something that looked like a male figure was leaning back against his desk with frizzy curly hair hanging off their shoulders and their legs crossed at the ankles.

“Thought you were never gonna open those, Harrington.”

and that was it for now! if anyone has suggestions or comments, pls pls pls let me know!!

[rantshemlock]

It: Chapter 2

It: Chapter 2 is an almost three hour movie in which just about nothing of value happens

this review contains implied spoilers for the movie! if that bothers you, don’t read ahead.

It (2017) had some incredible setpieces with brilliant monster designs and fantastic practical effects, bolstered by a couple of excellent performances from the show-stealing Finn Wolfhard and Jack Dylan Grazer, along with an outstanding performance by Bill Skarsgard as Pennywise. this, and the simplicity of the plot, make up for the fact that the character writing was often shallow and the dialogue laden with exposition.

It: Chapter 2 has almost all of those qualities, but also one major flaw: it's a bad movie.

there’s a lot to unpack when it comes to why exactly It 2 is such an extreme drop in quality to the first movie; the biggest is the story, which is a mish-mash of new footage of the child actors and the characters as adults, and is probably the biggest pisstake in film history in terms how much of an extreme waste of time it is. for a film to so thoroughly enforce the idea that the characters’ actions are pointless and serve nothing is unbelievable. as a movie that should be a triumphant ending to the saga, we’re given what is explicitly told to us to be pointless.

It 2′s sin is that it doesn’t build up to anything. not storybeats, not relationships, often not even scares. things are laughably obviously telegraphed, even more so than It 2017′s often heavy-handed exposition. the movie wants us to care about the characters because of their past together, but rather than building off the first film’s two hours of story it instead patches in new settings and scenes that no viewer has any attachment to.

“remember the club house? you love the club house!” the film says, showing us to a set we’ve never seen before and have no reason to care about other than it dictates we have to now care about it. the first movie was incredibly well received and is now beloved, it has more than enough emotional moments to build off of, but the film rejects all that in favour of bringing up new ideas, new concepts that hardly get built upon. it demands you care, but doesn’t earn that compassion or attention.

unresolved issues is the name of the game in this movie; characters are constantly shown to have problems, huge, serious problems. Beverly is being abused by her husband, something we’re shown in overly graphic detail. Mike is suffering from untold trauma from standing vigil over Derry for years. Bill is fucking up his movie and his relationship with his wife. Richie is living a lie, deep within the closet. what’s most egregious is not just that these issues don’t get resolved, but that they never get addressed.

we are meant to believe that these characters care about each other, care deeply, have a connection that would drive them to die for each other, but no one notices that Bev is covered with bruises and is desperately avoiding home. no one questions Mike’s erratic, terrified behaviour. Bill forgets his wife exists. as i watched the movie i found myself asking, if Ben loves Beverly so much, why can’t he see her pain?

in the first movie, the characters’ issues were deeply entrenched in their psyche, were part of what Pennywise used to manipulate and attack them. in this movie, they haven’t moved on from their childhood issues and their adult issues are merely tacked on, lip service to the idea that they have grown up but a refusal to actually spend time examining what their issues as adults are. all the characters are suffering in some way, but they never share these things. for all their love and trust, they never developed past their childhood and they never learned how to be adults. their arcs from the first movie are reset completely; their development in that film never happened. for how little that film ties into this one and how much this one wants to retell history with new content, it might as well not have existed at all.

if It: Chapter 2 lacks anything, it’s tact. it’s carelessly violent and shallow, throwing around horrifying concepts and spending no time to flesh them out. while the idea in the book that Pennywise’s presence leads to more violence, abuse and bigotry deserves criticism, this film manages to do an even worse job. what in the book might be questionable and in need of updating becomes uncomfortable and thoughtless in the movie. the gay hate crime at the film is one of the most prominent examples; always a horrifying thing to read in the movie it serves even less purpose, exposes even less about the town, adds nothing, means nothing. goes nowhere.

let’s talk about being gay. let’s talk about Richie.

here’s a fun fact; discounting Nightmare on Elm Street 2 (as painful as it is for me to say this, as someone who fucking adores that movie) It: Chapter 2 is the first horror movie in a big franchise to have a gay hero, unless there’s some information i really badly need to be updated on. making Richie gay was a good move, and i think Richie was the perfect character to pick for it. he’s by far one of the two most likeable characters in the film, the most memorable, gets the best moments and the best lines.

but the conclusion the film gives him, combined with the hate crime earlier in the movie, after he spends the entire film in the closet letting no one know he is suffering, is that he will never be happy. he can’t open up to anyone about what he’s feeling; he never tells any of the others, even Eddie, the character strongly implied to be the love of his life. while Ben and Beverly are given one of the best and most visually striking setpieces of the film to reunite in, there is no such moment for Eddie and Richie. there is no catharsis for either of them.

while making Richie gay was an excellent idea, to try and throw a bone to us starving gays to have someone to cling to, but the ending of the movie left me feeling completely hollow. i did not want my takeaway from his character to be that he is traumatised beyond the point of any healing.

the politics of gay representation in this movie are bad, and so is race.

Stephen King is a writer with a dirty reputation for his habit of using “native americans” as shorthand for something magic and not understandable, and this film manages to not only dig up the few traces of this from the book but also make it worse, turning the ritual of chud (something that the book implied only worked because the characters believed in it and had no tie to native americans) into the act of ignorant, misinformed indigenous people who get not a single line to explain or defend themselves but are only allowed to be set dressing to later be ridiculed and demonised.

Mike, the sole black character of the movie, is served horribly in this film. while in  the novel he was one of the most important characters, a thoughtful librarian and historian carefully gathering the history of Derry to research the truth of It’s influence, he was given no screen time in the first movie and in this one is the detested outsider of the group. he is pushed into the position of mentor and guide, rather than friend, and comes across almost like the old stereotype of the magical black character, someone who is only there to provide guidance to the white leads through insight he mysteriously and magically possesses. the film stripped away his position as historian and researcher from the first movie and now scrambles to make up for that, leaving him without the history and characterisation to allow us to understand who and why he is.

on top of this, despite the enormity of his sacrifice to stay in Derry and the clear mental strain it’s put him through -- Isaiah Mustafa gives Mike more depth and thought than anyone else did and brings in his performance layers of subtlety this film doesn’t deserve -- the other characters are mocking and derisive of his attempts, don’t trust him and accuse him repeatedly of lying to and betraying them. these moments go nowhere, also. he is always immediately ‘forgiven’ without any thought as to his own suffering or the continual selflessness of his actions. he’s the thoughtless punchbag to a film in which the character continually martyrs himself for the comfort of others.

he isn’t even given the dignity of being called the leader of the group, despite doing everything for them and coming up with every idea. for some reason, the leader is nominated as Bill, despite James McAvoy’s performance being lackluster to the point of fading into the background entirely and the character of Bill doing next to nothing in the film at all.

but again -- the characters in It are not allowed to care about each other’s pain and suffering outside of a few moments. they come with their mental turmoil and they are either completely cured of it or allowed to remain in it, unmentioned again.

there’s not a bad actor in this -- James Ransone is astonishingly good, pitch-perfectly recreating Jack Dylan Grazer’s every mannerism, Bill Hader is both funny and heart-rendering when needed, Isaiah Mustafa moves mountains to make the script give him some depth, and Bill Skarsgard is again incredible as Pennywise -- but there’s also not an actor who isn’t horribly, horribly maligned by the script. Jessica Chastain, an actress of tremendous power and presence, is given next to nothing to do or say. more thought and care is given to Stephen King’s cameo as a shop owner than the role of Henry Bowers.

the film has its moments. Richie and Eddie are a delight, and the monster design and practical effects are again top of the line. it’s just a painful shame that so much talent and craft, the skills of the incredible artists and designers, the hard work of the enthusiastic and engaged cast and the intricacy of the sets are wasted on a movie that has no direction, no idea where it’s going and no point to make about anything.

also, it’s pretty fucking galling for a movie to continually make jokes about how despised a writer’s endings are only for it to take the far better ending of the book and discard it for something so ridiculous it was a strain not to laugh in the theatre.

It: Chapter 2 has no reason to be as bad as it is, but all the goodwill in the world can’t save a story this fragile, this pointless, and that refuses to engage with any of the subject it brings up to this degree. It wants us to take it very seriously indeed, but there’s nothing here to latch onto; this movie is someone screaming ‘oh the horror’ in a beautiful room filled with set dressings that crumble to ash.

[dachi-chan25]

So i finally watched It chapter 2...

DISCLAIMER: So I know most of y'all don't like anyone to critizise anything u like, right of the bat I am telling u I did NOT liked this movie at all, there are changes I thought were good ideas but most of it was just plain terrible in MY opinion and I need to vent. If u share my opinión or find my rage amusing read on.

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I had been putting off watching this movie, cuz in 2017 I enjoyed the 1st IT movie but I had a TON of issues with it (Mike's complete erasure, Stan being a completely different character, The Losers Club moments being sacrificed to cool sounding one-liners, WTF happened to Henry Bowers and Alvin Marsh, Bev being overly sexualized, etc, etc) so I was on the fence about this one. The cast is what finally caught my attention but then I heard very mixed reviews about it, and as I am starting on a new job I hadn't had the time to go and watch it til now and oh boy was I disappointed.

First off, we have to ask ourselves was Adrian Melon's murder scene really that necessary??? I understand what they used it for in the movie (to make a R3ddi3 reference /as a side note I do not care for the ship or any other IT ship tbh i write it like this cuz i don't want this post to invade the ship tag) but the characters involved are never mentioned again and it was too gratuitous (like we can have a homophobic hate crime, slurs thrown around all the time but we can't have the gay ship this movie was going for saying they love each other in a straightforward manner??? I know this is an unpopular opinion but I am not giving Muschietti props for doing the gay closeted ship for the 1000th time, if u were gonna do it go for it!!! Do right by the characters, hell in the book they get more tenderness and they are never explicitly gay, Eddie is heavily coded as gay or asexual and Richie is super bisexual) like my queer ass is tired of seeing gay ppl die in violent gruesome ways all the time.

While I love Bill Skarsgard's performance, the excess of CGI and all those jumpscares and strobe lights, actually take away from his performance, he is super scary and eerie when he is talking and even being friendly but super hillarious and plain silly when he is actually trying to be scary or when he is eating, it looked too wierd.

TBH whyyy was Tom Rogan in this?? Muschietti had already changed Alvin Marsh from being physically violent to being a sexual predator (everything they changed from Bev took away from her character, like we can have her smoking and flirting w Mr Keene but we can't have her teaching Richie how to use his yo-yo or winning in a fucking video game or drawing or anything that remotely has to do with her character) why was Tom necessary?? Hell we could have skipped that and have Bev in Kay's house telling her all that happened instead, I mean if he wasn't gonna die in the sewer why is he even a character? It was so easy to erase him and have Kay instead. Also how tf did Alvin survive???

Whyyy do that to Audra??? I fucken hate Muschietti, was it necessary to justify Bill cheating on her??? Nope, we could have simply have Bill not kiss Beverly and that’s it, also I am kinda salty Audra is not part of the plot.

Lmao Henry, like he fell on the fucken pipe and you could hear his fucken bones breaking and craking and he gets to get up and walk home????????? Whyyy y y , Muschietti ????

We never really got to see how deeply ingrained Pennywise is in the town, he is actually Derry. And if Muschietti thinks he fixed the wtf ending everyone complained about in the 90's adaptation he is on fucken drugs, this ending is super messed up and has nothing to do with the book or with anything at all, we never get to know what exactly is Pennywise, his true form it's a clown spider apparently or something cuz the death lights were there but not really ???

STAN was fucken robbed (again) last time he was completely ereased, he was physically there on the scenes but that’s it, his personality was null. And his thing, the thing that made him comit suicide was the fact that he was the one to see the death lights, the most logical and disbelieving of them faced something far beyond anyone's comprehension and they gave that to Bev?? And the death lights apparently gave her Final Destination abilities? ?????

Eddie was robbed. Of so so much. Muschietti fuck you. Frist off why isn't Eddie the CEO of some app like Uber like he was the Losers Club compass he was a great fucking driver, he loved sports (I actually got excited when they had this scene with the baseball game cuz i thought it was gonna be an Eddie scene but nope) y not connect that with this Token bs Muschietti pulled off his ass (this is actually a great idea, and could symbolize the Losers' lost childhood IF Muschietti had been assed to give them significance or something in part 1) His death scene. Just why? Why are his last words a cheap joke instead of a love confession, fuck it Muschietti if u wanted R3ddi3 have the courage to really do it (in the books the Losers take turns to carry his body out of the sewer cuz they will not leave him there, that's more meaningful than them diving) One of his most beautiful quotes is something Bill is writing??? Lmaoooo Bill wishes he could have thought up that (I love Bill but come the fuck on)

Why make such a huge deal out of B3nv3rly or r3ddi3 when the point of it all was that the Losers Club all loved each other, apart from whatever romantic feelings, they found a family in one another and they really erased that in this movie, I was like y are this ppl friends with each other. Mike drugged Bill, Richie was awfull to everyone, they barely had a conversation in the restaurant (biihhh the 90s miniseries does this better) and show no respect for Mike at all ( I mean I am not surprised cuz Muschietti has no respect for Mike as a character at all) or bill like nah son.

Stephen King cameo was there I guess, it was fine.

The Kiss me fat boy, of all things u could have taken from the 90's miniseries why that?????

Ben building the house club by himself ???? Bullshit, Muschietti ereased another great Losers Club bonding time and hate him for it.

MIKE, I AM ENRAGED. So Muschietti is braver than King for making R3ddi3 "canon" but he destroyed Mike's entire character and that is fine with y'all mmmmm. His parents were "crackheads" apparently cuz it's not like that is a stereotype black ppl have carried on for years on end, he did not go to school, he was not the historian but now he is cuz he had to stay and he is crazy and obsesive and drugs Bill and also stole from a native american tribe???? FUCK this so fucken much I hate it with all my being .

How does such a choppy movie manage to drag on forever??? Like there were still 45 Min left and I was bored out of my mind. Why is the final arc so bad??? Like some much stuff that could have actually gotten away with erasing (Paul Bunyan, whyyy it was so silly, it doesn't even work in the book, but fine like King was super high he barely remembers writing it, why take it to the big screen u should have sticked to him being afraid of clowns like u had already messed up) and added and could have added things that actually enriched the adaptation.

I just give up. Like if they do a 3rd one like it's rumored I won't see it, Muschietti clearly does not know how to be subtle or to have meaningful character arcs, he is just good for cheap jumpscares, one líners and yo mama jokes so I pass. I really hoped the up coming King adaptations are better than this one. That being said the movie had real fun/enjoyable moments, if this were not an adaptation I would have liked it a hella lot more than I did but alas nope.

[hiyo-silver]

Behind Blindfolds

Nobody expected the world to end the way it does until it starts. It was always thought to happen all in one go but instead it drags on for years of feigning really living when all they're doing is surviving. In this situation maybe, surviving is really losing.

Summary: A newbie joins the gang, she takes a particular liking to Beverly.

Chapter 1 + ao3

Taglist: @fuckboykaspbrak @thesquidliesthuman @rachi0964 @beepbeep-losers @bigbilliamdenbro @jalenrose11 @sleepygaybrough @itandstrangerthingsfanfic @boopboopbichie @peachywyatt @aizeninlefox @sockwantstodie @ahoybyeler @yooonbum @coffeekaspbrak @sedanleystanley

Beverly has never been so unsettled by the things that go bump in the night. She’s like to consider what she was a brave little girl, but really she was no more than a little girl who couldn’t find it in her trauma muddled mind to be afraid. Now, however, in the wake of what all the news channels are calling “the end of the world- at least how we know it,” she summons her courage to try and will herself to even close her eyes.

She’s the only woman here and she can feel all of their eyes on her in the hours that they’re awake. She’s young, pregnant, and seen as the weakest link in this band of misfits. Now they rely on the clocks to keep a more normal circadian rhythm. The windows are all shaded by large chunks of cardboard taped stiffly over the glass. No chances should be taken against this monster. It has no mercy, ruthless and evil. It’s almost like It has no mind or shape of It’s own, just taking people over for small bits of time just to destroy them. It can and will bring a fall to anything in its path. Derry has never known something more evil, it’s just a quiet town in rural Maine.

There’s a knock on the front door. Everything in the Uris house seems to freeze at the sound. The timid knocks grow louder, more desperate and scared. Stan pads down the stairs in his fluffy blue robe. Mike follows close behind, a long gun propped up on his shoulder. Bill joins them down the stairs carrying a handful of pretty fashion scarves, all silk and floral. They’d been Patty’s, but they can be easily used as blindfolds. It’s important to mourn the dead, but you can’t mourn if you yourself haven’t made it to a point of survival.

Beverly rolls off the guest bed, socked feet slipping out silently to the foyer with the boys. The three of them are whispering, all tying the scarves at the back of their heads, “Pass me one,” she demands in a hushed tone. She finds that part of being the only girl is useful, her voice is more distinct. Bill knows it’s her and shoves one in her direction. There’s no time to argue. May as well keep her safe if she insists on being involved.

“State your name and purpose,” Mike commands, projecting his voice loud enough to be heard through the door. Never once does the gun falter from it’s position poised on his shoulder. He may not be able to see through the scarf, but it’s easy to tell what his target is. Right in the center of the front door, right where he heard the voice from.

“Kay. Kay McCall. I live alone and my power’s gone out. I’ve been looking for anyone else who may be alive,” a woman’s voice calls back. She holds the same confidence that Mike’s command had held. It’s almost intimidating, but the team can definitely use another powerhouse like her.

“Listen K-Kay, I’m going to pass you a big blanket, o-okay? Hang it over the lamps o-outside the door. Then I’ll le-let you all the way in. It’s just for our pr-protection.” Bill tries to keep his voice steady, not wanting to stutter over the important instructions. By this interaction, Bev can tell that the man’s always stuttered that way. It’s been a part of his day to day life for years. He opens the door a crack, keeping the chain locked to keep them safe.

A hand with nails that were once painted but now chipping reaches in carefully, non threateningly. They can’t see it now, but it’ll become obvious without the blindfolds that she may be confident, but she’s definitely a nail biter. She does what she’s told as efficiently as she can, her own blindfold leaving her to her other senses. All the survivors will get good without their sight. They won’t be able to safely see the outside any time in the foreseeable future.

Finally she gets it draped over the outdoor lanterns, it’s meant to keep what could be seen outside the house out. They finally do open the door fully to reveal a short woman with curly black hair, shutting the door hastily and fearfully behind herself. They pull up their blindfolds, hers is a nice sleeping mask that matches her solid colored maternity pajamas. The pale pink of her tank top contrasts her deeply tan skin. The lack of blindfold reveals brown eyes chocked full of fear and worry.

“My name is Kay McCall,” she repeats, hoping to prompt some sort of chain of introductions. There’s less of them than it seemed like outside the door. She wants to come off as least scary as she possibly can. She’d like to be able to say that people don’t automatically assume her to stereotypes, but as soon as they know that her dad is black, she’s seen as nothing more than an angry black woman with a lot to say. She can prove herself otherwise though, as long as people give her a chance to explain her points. She’s just as useful and valuable. Though she sees Mike and lets out a breath that she forgot she’d been holding. He’s like her, and he’s very obviously trusted and in a position of leadership.

After their eyes meet hers they travel down. It would take an idiot to not realize she’s pregnant, about as big as Beverly’s own stomach. Kay takes note of this. “How far along are you?” she asks, her hand resting on the top of her stomach, still breathing hard from the journey here.

“Almost full term,” Bev responds. The boys take a different shade of shocked then Kay does. Their shock only increases at her response.

“Me too.” Two babies born around the same time. Two babies who will know nothing but living with no grass and no sunshine. The miracle of birth should be exciting, but really it just fills the awake group with a fresh wave of fear.

“Welcome to the club, Kay, us losers stuck living through this hell,” Mike says, finally lowering his gun. They used to exclusively call themselves the survivors, but now it feels less hopeful, only making them feel more stuck. There’s not much to do now. Rations are lowering, there’s no cell service, and the streets aren’t getting much quieter. There’s no end in sight of whatever this is. They don’t feel like winners, like success, quite the opposite. Losers. They feel like losers.

“Thanks,” Kay says in a small whisper. It’s not like she was expecting the warmest of welcomes, but she didn’t expect the entire group to disperse out before even introducing themselves properly. She rubs her arm awkwardly, left alone in the foyer with Beverly. She already sees an ally in her. She’s the only other woman she’s seen in this group, and even better they’re both at the same point in their pregnancies. It would do them good to become close.

“Your name?” Kay asks, the wording comes out sounding a bit entitled but it wasn’t meant to. She’s used to comfort at least most of the time. When she divorced her husband a long while ago she ended up with most of the money. She knew exactly what she was doing. She’s a published author, quite wealthy, and ready to bring her baby girl into the world. That is until this thing came along. Her books don’t feel as important now that life itself is on the line.

“Beverly. Beverly Marsh,” Bev tries to speak as smoothly as Kay does, but she nearly always comes off as rude or uncaring when she must be serious. Her voice comes out in an unsure quiver instead. Like her hesitant tongue wasn’t ready to say anything. She’s short and small in stature, but the way she carries herself gives off more power than Beverly thinks she ever could- key would thinks she could ever.

The dim light of the foyer gets tiring and soon Bev decides that since she’s been here longer it’s her job to direct. “You probably need somewhere to sleep. Pillows and blankets are in the closet down the hall, I’ll get some for you,” it’s her excuse to walk away, and hopefully bring her closer to going back to sleep. Growing a human inside of her body is showing itself to be exhausting.

She pulls open the sliding closet door and sees something even worse than all the horrors she’s seen in the past few days. In the closet, illuminated by the light bulb at the top of the closet, are Richie and Eddie. Not just Richie and Eddie but Richie and Eddie naked, Eddie’s dick up Richie’s ass, panting in a way he couldn’t blame on his asthma. It takes them a few moments to notice Beverly and the door opening, a look of horror crossing their faces. “It’s not what it looks like,” Richie rushes out, pushing his glasses up his nose, pulling away from Eddie as fast as he can even though it hurts.

“Uh, I just need a pillow and a blanket and a minor case of amnesia,” Beverly says in a hushed voice with a sarcastic smile. She just reaches up for the top shelf to pull down what she needs. “Use protection, be safe, goodnight,” she says as she closes the door again. She lets out a deep sigh, that was another thing she definitely did not want to witness. No wonder they hadn’t been there for Kay’s arrival, they’d been in the closet getting started on whatever they were doing.

Bev hugs the pillow and quilt to her chest, waddling her way down to the foyer. She starts to pass them to Kay, “Where do you want to sleep? I can help you find somewhere,” Bev asks, she wants to get this over with but she remembers being the new one. She can be the Bill for Kay, he explained to her most of what she needed, and she can help Kay.

“Where are you sleeping? I hear pregnant woman shouldn’t be alone all the time, it can make their baby not develop well,” Kay suggests. Really all her time alone has gotten lonely. She didn’t think that not having a partner would feel so much like a loss, but it’s just something new to learn about herself. Self discovery is important.

Beverly looks a bit uncomfortable for a moment or two, before just nodding. She’s been pretty lonely too. Leaving Tom was the best thing she could have done, but she still has an ounce of regret. She leads Kay to the guest room, she got lucky to sleep in a nice bed, they decided that she should because she’s pregnant. Kay is also pregnant, it’s just fair.

“So who’s your baby’s father?” Bev asks, she remembers that Kay said she’d been living alone, maybe she’s like her. Solidarity sounds refreshing.

“A sperm donor, number thirty three to be exact,” the shorter woman says with a sly smile, trying to set her pillow and blanket alongside Bev’s. She’s learned that relationships aren’t very fulfilling to her, but she wants to be a mother. She wants to bring a child into this world, who knows? Her child could bring the change the world needs. Self reliance was alright before, but what seems to be an apocalypse brings a completely different set of rules and goals. “What about yours?”

“An asshole. I loved him, I really did. But he hit me and hurt me and I don’t think he’d make a safe father. So I got out of there. I’m still not sure I’d make a safe mother either, but I can’t take the baby away from myself,” Beverly explains, too exhausted to have a filter. Besides, she’s stuck with these people for now, they’re allowed to know.

“You’ll make a great mother,” Kay says in a sure voice.

“How do you know?” Bev asks, laying in her spot, pulling a strand of her hair behind her ear.

“Because you’re questioning if you will be. Sign of intelligence,” Kay says, laying beside her and looking over at her, trying to get herself comfortable. “The best way to be a good mom now is to get some rest.”

[edwardnashtons]

37

2k, SFW. Kid!Nygmobblepot (among other things) since at first I couldn’t imagine a scenario where’d they say this to one another (except as children) and then was able to imagine a series of several times they might. 

37. “You look like you need a hug”

“You look like you need a hug,” a small voice says,interrupting Oswald’s solitude. Oswald looks down, finding a small boy— who can’tbe older than seven— staring up at him.

“I don’t,” Oswald says, sniffling and wiping under his eyes.He has no idea how the kid got in. Oswald had picked the lock on this supplycloset and then locked it behind him; this was where he always spent recesswhen the torment became too much. Sixth grade had been hell so far, but soonhe’d be in middle school, and things would be better there. His mother hadpromised.

“Hugs make you feel better,” the kid tries again, staringearnestly up at him from behind round glasses, brown eyes wide and innocent.

“How’d you get in here?” Oswald asks. The kid puts his plain,brown paper bag next to Oswald and then sits beside him. Then, to Oswald’sastonishment, he pulls a lock-picking kit free from inside. It’s a nice set,one Oswald has been saving to get for months now.

“I picked the lock,” the kid says, as if that wasn’t obvious,putting the kit back in the bag and pulling out a peanut butter and jellysandwich. “I always eat lunch in here.”

“I’ve never seen you here,” Oswald points out.

“They switched my lunch period ‘cause I got in a fight,” thekid says, taking a bite out of his sandwich. Mouth full, he asks Oswald, “Do youwant some?”

“No, thank you,” Oswald says. He’ll get a free school lunchlater. “What’s your name?”

“I’m Eddie,” the kid says, carefully swallowing beforeanswering.

“My name is Oswald Cobblepot. Pleasure to make youracquaintance.” Eddie giggles in response. “What?”

“I like how you talk,” Eddie says. “Like they do in books,and old movies. Do you read a lot?”

“I enjoy books about birds,” Oswald tells him, pausing for amoment. “And vampires.”

“I know all about birds!” Eddie exclaims, waving his handsexcitedly. “You know, you look kinda like a—”

“A penguin?” Oswald deadpans. Eddie gasps comically, andOswald can see he’s missing a tooth.

“How’d you know what I was gonna say?” he whispers, eyeswide with wonder as he leans closer to the older boy.

“I get that comparison a lot,” Oswald explains.

“What kind of bird would I be?” Eddie asks him, a toothysmile playing on his lips. Oswald takes note of his round glasses and recallshis apparent interest in reading. A wide-eyed boy with a bookish personality.It was just too easy.

“You’re the very stereotype of an owl,” Oswald informs him.Eddie smiles at that and scoots closer, eating more of his sandwich. They talkuntil the period is over, at which time Oswald tells Eddie to go out first. He’lllock the door behind them. Before he leaves, Eddie turns and hugs him, going upon his tip-toes to put his arms around Oswald’s shoulders.

“I hope you feel better,” he says, turning and going out ofthe door. Oswald doesn’t see him again.

***

“You look like you need a hug,” Edward says, falling intobed beside him. Oswald is still recovering from the injury to his shoulder, buthe’s far more inclined to give in to Edward’s suggestions following the funthey had leading up to their dispatching of Mr. Leonard.

“What gave you that idea?” Oswald asks, as though he had notjust been staring wistfully into the distance, thinking of his mother.

“Hugs make you feel better,” Edward sing-songs, flipping upthe covers and getting under them. Something about this is making himnostalgic, but he’s been in his head far too often lately. It’s probablynothing. “It also speeds up the healing process.”

“Then hug away,” Oswald sighs, as if he isn’t starved forit. Edward moves across the bed, putting his hand on the other side of Oswald’sribs to pull them together in the center of the bed. He moves his thigh overOswald’s stomach, and rests his head on Oswald’s good shoulder, pushing hisforehead against Oswald’s neck.

“Comfy?” Edward asks, his breath fanning across Oswald’sneck. Oswald swallows thickly.

“Very.”

***

“You look like you need a hug,” Edward sadly intones, theguard closing the visiting room door behind him.

“You have no idea, Ed,” Oswald says, broken and beaten downand so very glad to see him. Edwardsits across from him, mindful of the fact that they aren’t actually allowed totouch.

“They confiscated what I brought you,” Edward says, “I’msorry.”

“Don’t be,” Oswald says, “it’s not your fault.”

“I wish there was something more I could do,” Edward says,pressing his fingers into his eyes and looking down.

“Do you still do what I asked of you, before I came here?”Edward’s head snaps up.

“Of course,” hesays. “Lilies, occasional visits.” Oswald smiles.

“Then you’re doing enough,” he assures Edward, reaching outand remembering the handcuff around his right wrist.

“Oswald,” Edward says, voice lowered, “I’ve been looking atschematics, and I think I know a way you could esc—”

“Hush!” Oswald snaps at him, eyes flicking to the camerasand the door. “Edward, if they overhear, I won’t be able to see you anymore.And then I will have nothing.Nothing.” He sits back in his chair, resigned to his fate. Edward frowns andchecks his watch, wincing at the time.

“How long?” Oswald asks, tears threatening to spill from hiseyes.

“Two minutes,” Edward says. “If you want, I could hug youright before I go. They’ll be pulling me out of the room anyways.” Oswaldconsiders the offer. They’ll allow Edward back after a hug, he’s sure of it.Otherwise it wouldn’t be worth the risk. One kind touch after months without isall he wants.

“Reserve the last thirty seconds for it,” Oswald decides.“Has there been any suspicion on you for…?” He trails off, hyperaware thatthere are no secrets you can keep in this place. Edward catches his meaning,eyes flashing with something dark.

“I’m handling it,” he says, glancing at his watch. “However,it might be some time before I can visit again. Forty seconds.”

“Come here,” Oswald says, pushing his chair back with onehand and standing. Edward moves quickly, sliding between Oswald and the tableon his left so that Oswald can still hug him with his right arm. Pushing Edwardflush against the table allows him to pull his hand close enough to really hug him, despite the cuffs, theonly positive touch he’s had since he entered this hellscape. Guards rush inprecisely thirty seconds later to peel them apart, Edward telling Oswald to hang in there as they pull him from theroom, his long, skinny legs dragging slowly after him through the door. Oswaldlaughs and lets them take him.

***

“You look like you need a hug,” Edward mocks, cocking a browat him. Oswald glares, the sight of Edward Nygma making both love and hatechurn in his stomach in one acidic, despicable mix. He wants to slit his throatand lick his jugular, to tear him apart and make him scream in ecstasy. Thelast time Edward came to visit him in Arkham, he hadn’t loved him or hated himat all. (Well, in retrospect, perhaps he’d loved him a little bit.)

“I’d kill you first,” Oswald sneers, his injured facetwinging in pain at the movement.

“I’d rather die than let you touch me, believe me,” Edwardspits, slamming a briefcase on the table in front of him. “I’m not here foryou, I’m here because I need something from you.”

“What makes you think I’ll help you?” Oswald growls.

“Because I need you to be the King of Gotham again,” Edwardsays, flicking up the latches on the briefcase. Oswald’s eyes narrow.

“What for?”

“I have my reasons,” he says, tone clipped. “But they’re notsomething I can tell you until you’re on board. I’ll explain them if— and onlyif— you agree. So, are you in?”Oswald lets a slow, predatory smile split his face, feeling the cuts on hisnose and cheek pull with the gesture.

“I’m in. What’s the plan?”

***

“You look like you need a hug,” Oswald gasps, coming back tolife in Edward’s arms. Edward wails and clutches him closer, memories ofKristen still flashing in front of his eyes from the vision of Oswald, brokenand bleeding, cradled in his arms while he sobbed uselessly and begged him notto die, not to leave him, to hang in there.Oswald rediscovers where his arms are, holding Edward in return. He moves untilhe’s kneeling on the concrete floor, soothing Edward while he inhales shakybreaths and tries to calm himself down. Grundy and Lee are watching them, Leekeeping a steady hand on Grundy’s arm to remind him not to interrupt, despiteEdward’s clear distress. Oswald ignores them and kisses Edward’s shakingshoulder, his ear, his hair, hands soothing over his back and shoulders,rubbing them in comfort. He never thought he’d have this again, savoring everymoment. Oswald’s hands are in constant motion over Edward, mouth pressingkisses to the side of his face for as long as Edward will allow him, histemple, his nose. He kisses the tears from Edward’s cheeks and tells him it’s okay, I’m here, it’ll take more than atwo-story fall onto concrete to kill me; you off all people should know that.

Edward makes a sound between a sob and a laugh andintercepts a kiss Oswald intended on pressing to his cheek, lips soft andsmooth against Oswald’s. Oswald’s eyes widen, noting how Edward’s are closed.There are tears still clinging to his lashes, tears he’d shed over Oswald’sprone body. Oswald blinks, then shuts his eyes, Edward’s lips parting againsthis. Oswald embraces him, putting everything he has into kissing him now, incase Edward changes his mind later. Edward hums as Oswald slips his tongue pasthis lips, letting Oswald explore the inside of his mouth. Edward ends the kiss,pulling Oswald into another hug and burying his face into the crook of his shoulder.

“I’m glad you’re alive,” Edward sobs, voice hoarse andmuffled on the side of Oswald’s neck.

“I’d fall out of a window any time if meant you’d let mekiss you like that,” Oswald jokes, his inability to easily cure Edward of sadnessstill as frustrating as ever. Edward pulls away, swiping quick fingers underhis eyes.

“Maybe you should just ask me?” Edward suggests, trying tosmile. Another tear escapes down his cheek, and Oswald catches it on his thumb.He hesitates.

“May I kiss you again?” Oswald asks, vision swimming fromhis head injury, unsure if any of this is even real.

“You may,” Edward whispers, letting him. If this is a dream,or a coma, (it couldn’t possibly be heaven) Oswald is uninterested in waking.The sound of gunfire breaks him from his reverie.

“That would be her reinforcements,” Edward says, pulling himto his feet. “Can you walk?”

“I’m walking on air,” Oswald tells him. Edward’s eyes narrowas he leads him along to their getaway vehicle, eyeing him critically.

“Lee, I think the fall broke him,” Edward decides. “He’snever this good-humored.”

“I think you kissed him silly,” Lee posits, unlocking thedriver side door.

“That’s your professional diagnosis?” Edward scoffs.

“That, and he most definitely has a concussion, yeah.”

“Edward,” Oswald says, letting himself be shepherded intothe back seat, “did you go to Hilltop Elementary?” Edward freezes halfwaythrough buckling Oswald’s seatbelt for him and then finishes, quickly doing hisown as Lee takes off.

“Yes, I did. Why?” Oswald’s eyes widen.

“Oh, you’re so cute, Eddie. Adorable. And so small… When did you get so much taller than me?You were so small and cute…”

“Okie dokie,” Edward says, interrupting his nonsensicalslurring. “Let’s just be quiet now and get back to the Narrows, shall we?”

“If you were a bird you’d be an owl,” Oswald tells him,hugging him urgently despite the pull of his seatbelt. Edward freezes.

“You’re the same Penguin,” Edward whispers, the realizationfinally coming over him.

“I’ve always been Penguin,” Oswald tells him, kissing hischeek. “How many kids do you think had that nickname in school, bird-brain?”

“Now you’re just being rude,” Edward says, kissing hisforehead affectionately. “I’ll forgive you, due to the fact that you have ahead injury and that you’re probably concussed. You know, I’ve actually thoughtabout that conversation a lot since then, and while owls are often portrayed inpop-culture and mythology as being the wisest of the birds, they are actually rather stupid, comparatively. In fact,the most intelligent birds are found in the corvid family—”

Edward begins an extensive infodump, and Oswald falls asleepcomfortably beside him. There will be no lack of hugs for either from now on.

[archivistsrock]

"...Bomer, who was decorative in the Magic Mike movies but dug deep as the closeted New York Times reporter in Ryan Murphy's The Normal Heart, gives a performance of real warmth and delicacy. Rather than play Freda as a force of nature or a collection of mannerisms — the typical default modes of actors playing trans women — Bomer renders her fully dimensional: an unpredictable tangle of impulses, by turns defensive and tender. Kylene Steele, a transgender woman, was personal consultant to Bomer.

[This ask is an excerpt from a THR review of Anything - read here]tl;dr – I’m glad this reviewer liked it; that’s still not the main problem; yes, of course I still think Matt is a GREAT human being even though I think that he made a mistake by accepting this role. 

[read more to…read more. Note that I’m a cis female. I always worry that I’m saying something “wrong” or speaking for/over trans people, etc. That’s not my intention at all, but people keep asking for my opinion, so here it is (like does my opinion even matter? Really? No.). Sigh. I’m super worried I’ll say something ignorant, and if I do, please correct me.Also note that I wrote this very stream-of-consciousness, so it might be a big ol’ mess. I didn’t address everything. I’m sure I ramble. Just try to bear with me (if you want).]

And Anon, I’m assuming a few things here because you just cut and pasted part of a review with no commentary of your own. Are you just  seeing if I’ve read it? (I have, but thanks) Are you just happy that the first review we’ve seen is a good one? (I’m pleased, too) Or are you posting this to me as a defense regarding Matt accepting the role, bc you know I’m critical of his decision to play a trans woman? I’m going to  assume it’s option #3, bc tbh it just reads as passive aggressive to me. If I’m wrong and it’s one of the other options, I’m sorry for assuming incorrectly. But I know that there are Matt fans out there with the mentality of, “I hope the movie gets GREAT reviews so everyone who  criticized him will eat their words!” (etc.)I’m sorry, but people who think that just are NOT grasping the main problem people have with casting Matt (cis male) as a trans woman. The main argument wasn’t that Matt would do a shitty job acting because he’s a man. Or that he would be incapable of realistically playing a trans woman without reverting to stereotypes. The main issue is that yet again having a man portray a trans woman sends a message that trans women are really men. Or that they were men “before they became women.” In reality, they are women. They have always been women. They may have “looked like a man” or lived “as a man” for part of their life (because society ugh), but THEY WERE ALWAYS WOMEN. The trouble is that much of society doesn’t grasp or understand this. They still see trans women as men who “decided” to “become” women. This then leads to a lot of violence towards trans people, especially trans women. The stats showing the amount of violence against trans people is staggering. Same goes for trans suicides, including kids. It’s horrible.So I am happy that so far the movie is getting good reviews, including Matt’s performance. Since the movie IS made and IS out there, OF COURSE I’d want it to be good and respectful. I hope it DOES have a positive impact on people who view it. I hope it DOES help bring greater empathy and understanding towards trans people. That would be great. But these goals can still be accomplished if the trans woman character was actually played by a trans woman (or even a cis woman, but this also would have some criticism – albeit less, imo). Any publicity and press done for the film would show the character (Freda) as a WOMAN. More emphasis on the fact that trans women are WOMEN. When (if?) Matt does press for this role, people are going to see a MAN. So people may question, “Why did a man need  to play that role? Are trans women really men first? So are they ACTUALLY men?”Continuing to excuse problematic casting because the movie and portrayal is good is a definite hindrance to progress. “Yes, I can see how this is an issue BUT…” “I agree that trans people should be cast in more roles  BUT…” BUT BUT BUT. WAIT WAIT WAIT. “Trust us,” say the cis people of the world to trans people. “This isn’t a problem for you. This is actually helping! Things will get better! Just keep waiting!” Can’t you see how this would get tiring really fast for trans people? Especially when they view this as actually endangering trans people’s lives? Yes, I KNOW many of you think this is an unfair stretch, but some people TRULY believe this – knowing this, can you blame them for getting so upset? Really, truly, try to think about this from a trans person’s point of view. I know it’s easy to get defensive, and you still don’t have to agree, but can’t you at least see where they’re coming from? “Everyone should be able to play any role!” – Well okay, but in reality everyone ISN’T getting the same opportunity to play any role. (also, this argument is bullshit on other levels, but I’m not going to get more into that here)With regards to Matt getting more criticism than Jeffrey Tambor, Jared Leto, Eddie Redmayne, etc…Yes, he is (altho the other actors were also critized – this is NOT a completely new issue that only sprang up with Matt and Anything). But that’s how progress works. First no one sees something as an issue (it doesn’t mean it’s NOT an issue, it’s just that most people don’t acknowledge it as one). Then people start to speak up about the issue. Then (hopefully) steps of progress are made.First there are no movies representing trans people. Then there are movies representing trans people, but the roles are played by cis actors. This is progress! We’re bringing attention to trans lives! But then people think, hmm, shouldn’t we stop implying that trans women are really men? Or that trans men are really women? We need to cast trans women in trans women roles/trans men in trans men roles. PROGRESS! And then, hey! Trans women should be able to play cis women and cis women should be able to play trans women! (same with trans and cis men) Progress! (And no…I don’t think the next progressive leap goes back to letting cis men play trans women.)I think Matt is getting more criticism bc we’re entering/at the stage of progress where it’s just becoming more unacceptable for trans women to be portrayed by men. As time goes on, this will become more and more unacceptable (imo). Matt is the latest example, so he’s getting the most criticism. Because progess. In 10 years, maybe no one who claims to be even mildly socially progressive will find it acceptable for cis men to play trans women. If this movie came up 10 years from now, maybe Matt would NEVER accept (or even be offered) the role. As a Matt fan, it sucks to see him criticized. I get it. As someone who’s an advocate for social  progress, it’s nice to see this type of casting get so much criticism. It’s hard to take off your “Matt fan” hat, but sometimes it’s important to do so. We’re all learning; we’re all growing (I can hope). This includes me. This includes Matt. This should include everyone. THAT SAID: Even though I don’t think Matt should have accepted this role, I still think he is a stellar human being. I’m SURE he went into this project with the absolute best intentions. I’m sure he did his best to prepare for this role and to portray Freda with as much authenticity as possible. I’m sure he consulted with trans women in preparation for this role. As the review linked above states, one of the producers of the film is a trans woman and she served as his personal consultant throughout filming. So that’s all great, but it still doesn’t change the fact that he’s another cis male playing a trans woman. Matt has been a great advocate (imo) for the lgbtq community. I 100% don’t think that this decision alone should define him. But I still think it’s a mistake. YOU’RE CAPABLE OF LOVING AND ADMIRING SOMEONE EVEN IF YOU THINK THEY MADE A MISTAKE. No one is perfect, even your celeb idol. And someone making one bad decision doesn’t make them a 100% trash human being. [And OF COURSE I think people telling Matt that he should die, etc.  is TERRIBLE]. I should also say that there are trans people who DON’T have a problem with Matt playing a trans woman. I’m not saying there is an absolute right and wrong on this. I’m definitely not the ultimate moral authority. This is just my personal opinion, formed by listening to various arguments and perspectives. Currently, this is where I fall. This is how I feel about it. I’m open to hearing counter-arguments, especially when they actually try to counter the specific problems I mentioned above (but please try to be polite, I beg of you).  I look forward to hearing what Matt has to say (assuming he ever says  anything about it). My opinion can certainly continue to change and evolve.

[alicedoessurveys]

131 Questions

1. On Saturdays, I like to… Depends what mood I’m in or how I’m feeling. If I’m in a tired, ’cba with anything’ mood I can easily lounge in my jammies at home watching telly and playing sims. If I’m in a more energetic ‘need to get out the house’ mood ill persuade my mom to go shopping, or take the dogs out or something

2. Where would you like to be a missionary to? Idk what that means

3. What’s better — toilet paper rolled over top or underneath? Over

4. Which Scooby-Doo character are you most like (Scooby, Shaggy, Daphne, Fred, Velma, the monster, Scrappy?) Probably shaggy and scooby cause I’m scared of everything

5. If you had to endure one natural disaster (i.e. hurricane, tornado, etc), what would you pick and why? Idk, hurricane maybe? Id rather not be in any disaster tbh

6. What movie or TV show do you take guilty pleasure in watching? Not gonna lie, there are some shows on kids tv I actually enjoy watching

7. If you had to describe your day as a traffic sign, what would it be? Ive had a mental block and I can’t think of any traffic signs

8. What traditional stereotype would you classify yourself as? I don’t think I really fit into one stereotype. im kind of a nerd but not 100% nerd

9. What “group” did you belong to in high school? My group was a mishmash of people. we were branded as the weird, geeky, unpopular group by most people

10. If you wrote a book about yourself…what would it be about? Probably about my experience with mental health and how it affected my school/college years

11. If your house were burning down, what would you take and why? obviously first thing id do would be check my family and pets were safe. Then id grab my laptop, the teddy I’ve had since I was born and try to get the two boxes from under my bed that I keep my memories in.

12. Describe your favorite pair of PJ’s. My favourites at the moment are my Christmas ones I bought myself this year. They’re red and white, with a kind of Christmas jumper pattern on them. Its hard to describe them but they’re super cosy

13. How many handbags do you own? Like two, I’m not big on handbags. I buy one and keep it until its dies then get a new one

14. If this were your last day alive, what would you say to your friends? Thank them for sticking with me and giving me some great memories

15. What is your very favorite part of your day? getting into bed at the end of the day

16. What is your best scar? Tell the story of how you got it. I don’t consider any of my scars ‘best’.. the one that has the most meaning is the one on my stomach. Its from when my appendix burst when I was two years old and my parents said It was 50/50 wether I survived or not

17. You win a million dollars, but you have to give half to a charity. Which charity do you pick, and what do you do with the rest of the money? probably Birmingham dogs home, or dogs trust

18. Describe your dream wedding where money is no option. IF I every do get married, I would like a winter/christmas wedding cause Christmas is my favourite time of year and winter weather is a bit more predictable. Id want to get married in a church, then go to a big castle hall for the reception. Honeymoon in lapland!

19. What kind of deodorant do you use? I think its either dove or sure..? I can’t remember. its a spray deodrant though, can’t deal with those horrid wet stick ones  

20. If you were a spy what would your alias be? is alias like, spy name? I don’t know, I can’t think of anything cool haha

21. Do you have a birth mark? Where? Does it look like anything? Nope, don’t think so

22. You are planning the most awesome dinner party of your life. Which 3 celebrities/historical figures (past or present) would you add to your guest list to keep the dinner talk interesting? Edie Redmayne because.. its eddie redmayne and he’s just adorable. kate mckinnon would be a freakin’ amazing dinner party guests I chose her and I can’t think who id chose for the third person.. maybe Walt Disney. NO WAIT, JOHNNY DEPP!! I choose Johnny Depp, I feel like he’d have a lot of great stories

23. What is your favorite sport, and which team of that sport do you cheer for? None

24. Which would you rather have a kiss or a hug? Why? Hug

25. If you could be a pair of jeans what style would you be?  Why? Skinny jeans, so I could be skinny :’)

26. You have multiple personalities, describe some of them. too many to go into

27. What is the best thing you have done in your life? Probably passing my driving test. OR, when I was 17 I got certified as a Zumba instructor. even though I ended up having to give up Zumba, thats probably the thing I’m the most proud of in my life so far. As someone who suffers anxiety/panic attacks it was a massive achievement to travel to blackpool, go dance at Winter Gardens ballroom ON MY OWN in a room full of strangers for 6 hours, and come out with a certificate.

28. If you were blind for the rest of your life… what would you miss seeing the most? Everything. It would be awful. Id probably miss seeing my dogs faces the most

29. What household chore do you hate the most? Washing the dishes, or hanging my clothes up in the closet

30. What is your most disappointing moment in life? the whole college experience. dropping two of my a levels, failing the other two. Then dropping out of college course. And again, dropping out of another college course. Not a great 3 years for me.

31. When have you laughed the hardest? Cried? today. I realised my dog’s haircut made him look like Edna Mode from the incredibles.. easily amused. Last time I cried, Im not sure. The last time I remember crying was Christmas Eve

32. If you had a “theme song” that played whenever you walk into a room full of people, what would it be? My cellophane from Chicago? Haha idk

33. What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? General appearance. Probably what they’re wearing, their hair, their face. If I’m up close face to face with someone the first thing I notice are eyes and mouth

34. What time period from the past would you most have liked to live in and why? 80s, I like the music

35. What is the best reward anyone can give you? support

36. If you had a band what would you name it? Idk, I used to have a name I said I would use but I can’t remember now

37. Do you like fruit? Vegetables? Not really. The only fruit I like is apples and bananas. The only veg I like are peas

38. What can someone do to encourage you? tell me they believe in me and be genuine about it

39. If you could be one for just 24 hours, what cereal box cartoon character would you be? Why? What a bazaar question haha! Erm, the one from coco pops? The monkey

40. What was the best thing that happened to you this weekend? New Years day. i spent the day surrounded by family at my sisters house and we stayed they’re till almost 2am playing heads up and singing too loud

41. What is your favorite animal? List three adjectives to explain your choice. Ffs, I don’t know what an adjective is :’) favourite animal: dogs. Loyal, cuddly, goofballs

42. What is your favorite color? List three adjectives to explain your choice. Again with the adjectives, gah! Fave colour, purple. I don’t know why, I just like it leave me alone

43. It’s a very hot and muggy day. You desperately want something very cool and refreshing to quench your thirst and revitalize your body. What would you drink — either make your own or store-bought. Cold water obvs

44. You discover that the person you’re head-over-heels interested in loves a good homemade & handmade dessert. What will you concoct when you have this person over? Cookies, either salted caramel or Nutella filled

45. What would you leave in your will for the person you care about the most? Idk, I don’t really have anything to leave :’)

46. What do you consider to the most valuable thing you own: when you were a child/teenager/now? Child: probably something stupid like dolls. Teenager: idk, laptop? Now: again probably laptop since I bought a new one yesterday. I would say dog but I don’t own the dog

47. What’s the kindest act you have ever seen done? Idk

48. If you could have any job in the world, which one would you want? Actress, or dancer. Or animal trainer for movies/tv

49. What are your best/worst subjects in school and what subjects would you want to learn now? Best subjects: none. Worst subjects: all of them, but especially science.

50. What are you most talented at? Nothing :’)

51. What is your worst nightmare today? Still being the way I am now this time next year

52. How often do you clean between your toes? Idk, like almost every day I think

53. What is your favorite way to waste time at work without getting caught? I don’t have a job so idk

54. If you could have had the starring role in one film already made, which movie would you pick? Tina in Fantastic Beasts.. being part of that amazing film AND getting to spend all that time with Eddie Redmayne <3

55. If you were to perform in the circus, what would you do? I don’t want to be apart of a circus

56. If you could eliminate one thing you do each day in the bathroom so that you never had to do it again, what would it be? Having to go to the bathroom <- yup, that

57. You were just given a yacht. What would you name it? the mad hatter

58. If you could have been told one thing that you weren’t told when you were a teenager, what would you like to have heard? ‘Dont expect everything to get better in college. It only gets worse’

59. You’ve just been hired to a promotions position at Kellog Co. What would you put in a new breakfast cereal box as a gimmick? These questions are hard man

60. Just like “Everybody Wang Chung tonight!”, what action would your name be if it were a verb? wtf

61. Name your favorite song. At the moment, I’m loving Todrick Hall ‘no place like home’

62. If you were to get a tattoo, what would it say or what would the graphic be? I have a tattoo. I have 3 musical notes behind my ear. I want another tattoo, i want a lighthouse on the side of my foot under my ankle

63. If you could play any musical instrument, what would it be and why? If you already play an instrument(s), what do you play and why? ive just started playing the ukulele, my dad bought me one for Christmas

64. When trick-or-treating as a kid, was there any kind of candy that you didn’t like to get? I never went trick or treating

65. Why do you live in the Washington DC area? I dont :’)

66. What is your favorite memory of Christmases past? Just Christmas in general

67. What is the most outrageous thing you’ve done for God? I haven’t done anything outrageous.. the most ‘unlike me’ thing I did was stand up in front of my church and give a testimony. It was terrifying and I cried with relief when it was over haha

68. If a movie was being made of your life and you could choose the actor/actress to play you, who would you choose and why? Jennifer Lawrence

69. Paper or plastic? Paper I guess idk

70. What was the weirdest food you’ve ever eaten? I don’t eat anything weird, I’m a very boring eater

71. What do you keep in the trunk of your car? I have a basket which I keep de-icer, ice scraper, washer liquid, a torch, gloves, hat, tennis balls and dog poop bags

72. When you were in grade school, what did you want to be when you grew up? Why? I wanted to be someone who looked after peoples cats when they went on holiday.. don’t ask why

73. If you owned a CB radio what would your “handle” be? I dont know what that means

74. If you were given 24 hrs to live, what would you do? I can’t even, questions like this stress me out

75. If you were in the “Miss America” talent competition, what would your talent be? (Note: both guys & gals have to answer this question) i dont know, probably bring the dog on stage and dance with him or something haha

76. What do you think the most ultimate gift of the world is? Uh.. idk. I feel like this survey is gonna be really boring cause most my answers are ‘idk’

77. What is your earliest childhood memory? Earliest memory is mom dropping me off at preschool and my crying my eyes out being carried off by the teacher

78. What was your favorite TV show when you were growing up? I had many. I had a lot of veggitales videos

79. If you had one extra hour of free time a day, how would you use it? Either sleep, or just more time sitting on the sofa wasting my life

79. What CD is in your CD player right now? Rend Collective, Campfire II

80. The great theologian Andy Warhol stated that everyone gets 15 minutes of fame.  What happened during your 15 minutes? Still waiting for mine

81. Name the most famous person you’ve had a face to face encounter with. I met the wanted, Andy Jordan and literally bumped into laurence llewelyn-bowen in hobby craft last year

82. Name your favorite children’s story. Anything by road Dahl, the whole chronicles of Narnia or the grufflo

83. If you could spend 15 minutes with any living person, who would it be and why? hmm.. I haven’t mentioned eddie redmayne enough in this survey so ill say him :’) or Kate McKinnon.. love her

84. What person in the Bible do you most closely identify with? Esther was my favourite growing up, and now I’m older I identify with her a lot

85. What article of clothing most closely describes your personality? A hoodie because you can pull the hood over your head and hide away just like I’ve been doing for a long time <-this

86. If you were to write a book what would it be about? Im sure I answered this question earlier..?

87. How many rings before you answer the phone? I don’t really do that. I see who’s ringing and I either answer it or I don’t

88. What is the first thing you think of when you wake in the morning? Lie there contemplating wether to wake up or go back to sleep

89. If you won a million dollars, what would you do with it? Pay off they money I owe. Pay off parents debts, and sisters debts. Give them money. Buy a house in Bournemouth. Set up a doggy day care business.

90. If you had to, what part of your body would you get pierced? No thanks

91. Who was your favorite teacher and why? My English/drama teacher in the first year of senior school. She found out I was having difficulties and became like a mentor to be. She helped me out a lot.  

92. What makes you feel the most secure? My family

93. Who do you admire the most? Mom

94. Have you ever had a reoccurring dream? What was it? I’ve had dreams about my teeth falling out a few times. Recently I keep having dreams about being in bed with spiders and snakes crawling on me and wake up hitting my duvet and generally freakin the f out

95. What was your nickname growing up? Bong

96. Who was your hero when you were a child, and what did you do to be like them? My dad. I would try to play his guitars and would tag along with him when he went to his evening jobs

97. Peanut or plain? Peanut or plain what..?

98. What is your favorite cartoon character & why? I don’t actually know

99. How did you learn to ride a bicycle? all I remember is my dad took me to the park and held on to the bike while I cycled, then let me go and I rode into a tree

100. Based on something you’ve already done, how might you make it into the Guinness Book of World Records? The ability to jump to the worst conclusion in the quickest time

101. What’s the closest you’ve come to becoming a pop star/winning an Oscar? No where near

102. When was the last time you did something for the first time? What was it? I honestly can’t think of anything

103. What is your concept of a fruitful day? I dont know what that means..

104. What was your favorite thing to play with as a child? Why? I was quite an active child, I spent a lot of time climbing trees and running around outdoors. When I wasn’t doing that, my favourite toys were bratz dolls

105. If you could be any animal in the world for 24 hours, which animal would you be? Why? a bird, I would love to experience flying

106. Have you ever jumped out of a plane? Nope, im not adventurous enough for that

107. If you could rid the world of one thing, what would it be? Hate/war/terror

108. What is your best personal characteristic? Ughhhh I hate questions like this, I’m not good at saying nice stuff about myself

109. What is your favorite quote? “And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those you don’t believe in magic will never find it.” - Roald Dahl

110. If you could be invisible for a day, what would you do? Sneak onto a film set and see what its like

111. What is your favorite weird food combination? Im not into any weird food combinations. Like I said earlier, I’m not adventurous enough

112. If you had to be a flower, which one would you like to be and why? Maybe a rose, cause they’re pretty but they have thorns so they fight back again people who try to pick them :’)

113. If you were stranded on a desert island, what three books and three people would you take with you? 3 books: Fantastic beasts and where to find them, Harry Potter and the cursed child (cause its the one I’m reading atm) and a bible. 3 people: my mom, my dad and my sis
 114. My biggest pet peeve is… People in general

115. What is your favorite commercial? What commercial annoys you the most? I don’t really have a favourite. they all tend to annoy me after a while. OH WAIT! One advert I will never get fed up of is the Coca Cola Christmas one, ‘Holidays are Coming’

116. What’s the most interesting “Ice Breaker” Question you have ever been asked? I avoid situations that require ice breaker questions.

117. If you could be an ice cream flavor, what would it be? Why? Salted caramel, cause its my fave idk

118. Name a turning point in your life that makes you smile/cry. Makes me cry: probably the year I dropped out of college for the third time, got dianosed with depression then got ill with thyroid shit Makes me smile: maybe, going back to church this year because its changed my life for the better and set our family on an exciting journey thats just beginning :)  

119. If there were a holiday in your honor what would it celebrate? everyone who isn’t perfect, who is awkward, and fails at stuff a lot

120. What clubs were you a member of in High School? Are you still interested in any of the same things? I joined a drama club for like a week before it got shut down because there wasn’t enough members

121. If you were to be on a reality TV show which one would you be on and why? Probably big brother, I have no talents so I couldn’t go on anything else :’)

122. If you could be anything in the world, what would you be and why? Someone with talent. preferably someone who could sing, dance and act and was in musicals  

123. If someone rented a billboard for you, what would you put on it? ‘Make the effort to make someone smile today’

124. If you had to enter a competition for the “Most Uselessly Unique Talent,” what would your talent be? The ability to get animals to like me

125. If you were a Smurf, what would your name be? Awkward smurf, talentless smurf, failure smurf

126. What is your worst personality characteristic? Please refer to previous answer

127. If you had to be a teacher of something, what would you teach? well I completed a night course in canine behaviour so I guess I could teach how to care for and train dogs

128. How would you like to be remembered? Someone who made people smile

129. What is one thing that you constantly think about (other than material things)? Whether I’m doing the right thing or not. what I should be doing with my life.

130. What do you like best about your hometown? I don’t know, I guess the fact that its got a nice reputation

131. Something interesting you might not know about me is… Im not very interesting..