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#not to say others may not feel hurt in that situation
kdinjenzen · 7 hours
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So with all the stuff going on around Nintendo Vs Pocketpair I feel like people are missing the point of what's going on.
And this article actually finally brings up the biggest point: Nintendo has 1000s of patents and chooses not to enforce them all on everyone.
The idea that, quoting the article and Serkan Toto, "Nintendo's sweeping list of patents means it likely "could have sued half of the gaming industry back in 2017," …so like WHY NOT DO THAT?
There's a million reasons to not do it for Nintendo but TLDR is it's just bad business for them to do so.
The real take away is -what has PocketPair/Palworld done- that has brought out Nintendo to start enforcing these things in this particular situation?
A lot if you pay attention to PocketPair/Palworld's marketing and social presence. They threw rocks at Nintendo, so Nintendo is finally pushing back.
Now I'm not going to fully go to bat for Nintendo and say "they are a good company" because there's no such thing truly…
But in most cases with Nintendo, they C&D folks multiple times before even thinking of escalating anything to real legal trouble. Which is kinder than most companies.
The final thought of the article says that Nintendo may feel "threatened" by PalWorld but… I don't buy it.
Pokemon is THE highest grossing franchise in the world… ever… of all time. It's total revenue is around $100 BILLION with a B.
PalWorld, even at it's height, didn't even come close.
The aspects that I think Nintendo decided to act upon in their mind for this is the brazen bold rudeness and shit talking that happened on social media/marketing with PocketPair/Palworld.
PLUS the fact that Pokemon fans were also quick to be like "bruh, even if this isn't stolen it's obviously design lifted" for a lot of Palworld's Pals.
Add in the fact that both Microsoft and now Sony have pulled PalWorld onto their platforms… Nintendo is going to notice and get mad.
The truth is that PocketPair is an indie dev… with major AAA studios behind it now in a lot of ways. Which actually hurts PocketPair in a sense.
Nintendo tends to ignore indie stuff and has actually collabed with many indie studios before in major ways, so they aren't anti-indie.
Nintendo is OLD SCHOOL and expects a little bit of respect.
Nintendo has not taken action against pretty much any of the other true new Tiny Critter Collecting Indie IP that have popped up, a lot of them are ON Nintendo platforms and have had Nintendo feature them in directs…
But PocketPair threw rocks. Nintendo easily saw this as disrespect, but could be ignored.
What CAN'T be is the outcry from their own fanbase to "look into things" with PalWorld to see what, if anything, was lifted from Nintendo directly.
And Nintendo did. They took over a year to look into it.
This isn't Nintendo doing a knee jerk reaction, they went over things and took their time to research what PalWorld and PocketPair were doing.
Nintendo isn't stupid. They don't pick fights for no reason.
Regardless of if you LIKE Nintendo, or your feelings on a big company taking on a little company… Nintendo is very likely on the right side of business, IP, and patent law here.
Nintendo -losing- here would be, actually, really bad for small folks more than big guys in the long run.
Adding in the fact that PocketPair launched a generative Ai art game on top of all that…
This feel like, yes, Nintendo is flexing in a lot of ways but… they chose who to flex on and not to flex on -everyone-… so there seems to be a solid reason as to -why-.
Again the real take away is that IF Nintendo could have sued half of the gaming industry (as of 2017) with all the patents they have … why didn't they and WHY are they choosing to sue PocketPair/Palworld -now-?
Because that's more important than anything else.
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yunas-thoughts · 12 hours
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Since I'm super deep into the maurauders fandom atm but have also just read aftg here are my opinions on wich aftg chracter has wich patronus 🤌✨:
Neil Josten: Falcon - Falcons have a keen eye and are among the fastest creatures on earth. If your Patronus is a falcon, you may have been a troubled soul who decided to cast away their old, evil habits to fly down the hard, right path. Your nature pulls you to the dark, but you’ve chosen to live for the light - The falcon also represents breaking free from slavery. Now that you are free, you are flying in the light, and no one can stop you, not even Dementors!
Andrew Minyard: Hippogriff - The hippogriff is a proud and dangerous creature. They are half eagle, half horse, the offspring of a horse and griffin. If your Patronus is a hippogriff, you likely have a demeanor that commands respect or else. You’ve been known to fiercely defend those you’re loyal to and lash out at those who don’t earn your respect. At the same time, you are capable of growing to love former enemies - after a bloody battle.
Kevin Day: Heron - The heron is known for its outstanding determination and intelligence. Herons live in three elements: water, earth, and air, revealing that the animal appreciates diversity. You have a mind like no other and work on whatever you’re working on until you’ve finished it.
Nicky Hemmick: Hedgehog - Cute and loveable inside and out, those who possess a hedgehog Patronus may thrive on giving and receiving love and may feel they need more of it than others realize. While upfront about their endearment and affectionate personality, hedgehogs are also known to be anxious and overly cautious. They often worry about their own and others of their kind’s safety. Those around must approach the hedgehog with care and precision, though, because when defensive and hurt, hedgehogs are remembered not for their sweetness, but for their sharp spikes.
Renee Walker: Adder - The common European adder or common European viper is a venomous snake that can be found throughout Europe. Adders are not normally aggressive and tend to only bite when they are threatened in some way.
Dan Wilds: Orca - It’s no mistake that orcas are nicknamed “killer whales.” They are one of the most effective hunters in the ocean. Orcas use teamwork and complex communication skills to hunt and the same cunning to protect their young. With the fierce, calculated protection of an orca on your side, you can rest assured that the Dementors will be no match for you.
Matt Boyd: Black Bear - The formidable form of the black bear is often enough to scare away even the bravest of explorers, not to mention Dementors! Often mistaken as a deadly predator, the black bear mostly feasts on berries, grasses, and roots complemented with fish and carrion. This is often how people see you - a fierce opponent who will protect yourself and those close to you but who has a softer side hidden away from the world. Black bears are known for their adaptability, and this is often seen in how resourceful you can be. No matter the situation you find yourself in, when you come to call upon your Patronus, the black bear will be fully prepared to fight in your corner.
Allison Reynolds: Peacock - Peacocks are ground-dwelling birds known for their beautiful eye-shaped plumage. These birds extend their feathers not only to attract mates but more importantly, to appear more intimidating to predators. With feathers that make up over 60% of their total length, it gets the job done. Peacocks are easily irritated and would make a fierce and gorgeous Patronus.
Aaron Minyard: Lynx - The lynx is a solitary wild cat. They hunt alone, using their great sense of hearing and their stealth to move through the forests without being seen by either their prey or those who may be watching. When they do strike, they are fast enough to even catch snowshoe hares. Dementors won’t know what hit them!
Definitions are from: https://www.mugglenet.com/2017/08/patronus-say-personality/
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nothorses · 1 year
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the thing that’s really getting me about all the ppl theorycrafting why exactly you’re getting degendered is like… even if these *extremely* charitable readings were true, they would still be misgendering you??? like it doesn’t actually matter if “it’s coming from a place of consideration and care” because they’re still using the wrong pronouns for you
Literally exactly.
And like... I know a lot of these folks do ultimately have good intentions. I'd be willing to bet a lot of them are "just being careful", in their own minds.
But. it doesn't matter, actually. If you got my pronouns right when you thought I was cis, and they're suddenly too hard for you only once you know I'm trans, there's no non-transphobic reason for that. You saw me as a man and gendered me as such because it was "easy to remember" or whatever, then learned I was a trans man, and stopped seeing me as a man.
Cis men are easy to gender correctly, but trans men are not. That's transphobia.
And even if it wasn't- I am still being misgendered. It hurts differently when it's malicious vs. misguided vs. a genuine accident, but it's still a violation of my boundaries, it still hurts, and the goal should be to Not do that.
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abandoned-quiche · 3 months
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i think what undertale fangames should really strive for is to push undertale's themes of mercy to the edge - push the PLAYER to see what their limits are on who deserves mercy.
#like for example.#someone who's having some sort of psychotic break and trying to hurt you. can you really justify killing them just because they were trying#to kill you? even though they would have snapped out of it eventually? even though they didn't actually WANT to kill you?#some would say you're justified to kill that person in self defense because you might have died if you didn't.#remember that there's always a power imbalance between humans and monsters. the human always has more power to end the conflict peacefully.#how about someone who's killed before? not someone like asgore or flowey where the situation's intricacies run deep.#this person simply murdered another monster because they wanted to. because they had something to gain from it#physically or emotionally. let's say he poisoned his lovely father to get his inheritence.#he is not fighting YOU to kill you for some petty gain - he's doing it for some other reason.#perhaps he's fighting you with no intent to kill - just ​to deter you from doing something that could ruin his life. or perhaps he intends t#kill you for a good reason.#can you justify taking his life because of what he did before?#the answers to these may seem obvious to you. but there are many who do believe it is within your right to kill these people.#this game should push them to reconsider their stance on this topic.#when you spare everyone because 'it's an undertale game and that's what you're supposed to do' sometimes you can miss out. and miss the poin#many people would be like 'i'm supposed to spare this guy? seriously? that's stupid.' and do it snyway because it's what you're 'supposed'#to do because it's an undertale game and the lesson is 'killing is bad.' they don't stop to reconsider WHY they think it's ridiculous to be#asked to spare these people.#i want to make an undertale fangame where at the beginning it says something like#'Don't just spare characters because this is an Undertale game and that's what you're 'supposed' to do. I want you to actually think about#the decision. Decide for YOURSELF what you think you should do in these situations. And really consider why you feel that way. Ultimately#the choice is up to you - that's the point of the game.'
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lususnatura · 3 months
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i just have one more thing to say about him before i go to sleep, and that's this: i've been thinking about making blamore an herbalist that's partially self-taught + also had asked someone to also teach him about it and i think i'm going to do it. because i think it would really fit for his character, since blamore would likely do it as a way to try to find out ways to ease its own pain (particularly his nerve pain) at first. but... all i can imagine now is blamore stumbling across someone's muse in the event that they are friends and them being injured / in pain.
and as a result, it would want to try to help alleviate them of their suffering; so if they had burns and/or cuts, then he'd rub a herbal salve into their skin where it was affected to help treat them. and maybeee he'd give them a bath or something in yarrow if they had a fever because it has been shown to have REALLY good anti-pyretic (anti-fever) abilities. so i basically just imagined it trying to nurse them back to health at least a little bit, and i 😭 i'm putting this on my wishlist on here now because this is just too damn sweet albeit in an angsty way to not do so. but of course, if they were like on death's door or something, then it would definitely just be using some of these herbal cures in the meantime until he could get an medical doctor out there like nico to help them. but it's the thought that counts in the end
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youremyonlyhope · 5 months
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why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up
#i'm overthinking something that i did and was told off for doing by my director#and on my way home i was thinking when was the last time i was even talked to like that during a production#and then i remembered the costume experience from hell of only a couple months ago that i've already began blocking out#but the thing is that that person was someone i knew i'd never have to work with again#i mean at first i thought i would have to work with them more. then they announced they were moving away immediately#so i only had to deal with them face to face for another weekish after that point and anytime they yelled at me#i was like 'cool. i'll do exactly what you say to do. and nothing more.' but then of course me being me#i did some extra stuff and they initially were like 'oh that's pretty' and then days later told me to cut everything i added#and like sure i get that the show was frozen but girl. that costume was unfinished. i was trying to finish it. it was frozen but looked bad#anyway. whenever they yelled at me and had actual malice in their heart i was like whatever. i was hurt. but i didn't care as much.#but this time it's someone i've worked with many many times before and it was about a habit i have that i know isn't great#but at the same time the thing that prompted it wasn't even me doing this habit it was something else#but she interpreted it as that habit and said that i can't do that on a production she's directing#and that if i couldn't stop then i could pull out from the production and there'd be no hard feelings between us#and honestly i think her reassuring that she knows i'm valuable and that she wants me there while also telling me not to do this thing#and the fact that she's someone i like working with and will continue to work with just made it all hurt so much more#especially since she referenced another past production we've done where i didn't even realize she had noticed that i do this.#and i found myself in near tears. and still am kind of in near tears. i can't decide if i need to cry or not.#and i had NO sleep last night so i was looking forward to sleeping tonight but now i'm just overthinking EVERYTHING#and like. i know everything will be fine. if i just stop inserting myself and stick to just my specific tasks. it'll be fine.#but this is one of the ways my ocd manifests. i feel like i have to personally fix something i notice going wrong. or it'll be bad.#because every single time i choose to sit back and not be nosy when i notice something it ends up bad in a way i could have prevented#if i just inserted myself in a situation i technically wasn't part of but knew i could help or fix. so i just need to not do that.#but then i feel guilt if it does go wrong in the ways i immediately assumed it would and in a way i could prevent.#and i've been trying to work on this for like 6 months and aaaahhhh it's hard and being called out on it from her just really really hurt#i still may or may not cry. i don't know. the irony of me telling my therapist THIS MORNING that it's been a while since i last cried.#and the universe being like 'i took that as a challenge' and handing me this situation for me to spiral over.#i need to leave things alone. i need to stare straight ahead. and ignore whatever isn't specifically for me to do. but ahhh i want to help#and then of course my mom has this same habit and it annoys me when she does it yet i do it to other people and ahhhhhhhh#brain please just shut up. i need to sleep. i have to work tomorrow.
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cerise-on-top · 5 months
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ALLO!!!!
how are you, love?!?!!? I hope driving practice has been good!!
I was wondering this the other day, cuz I was rereading one of my favorite posts of yours about Rudy, and I’m curious, why does he feel the need to be strong and not be seen as weak? Like, why doesn’t he initiate that besides feeling like it would bother his partner? I wanna know who HURT MY BABY!!! >:(
Hey there!
I'm doing fine, thank you! How are you! Driving has been alright! I passed my exam and soon I will be driving with my mother for practice! I plan to get the practical exam done sometime before November :D
I can actually give you two answers to your question, a short, but truthful one, and a longer one! Under the read more so I won't clutter anyone's dashboard ^^
In short: Rodolfo is, surprisingly, the character I project onto the most while writing! So, yeah, him being the way he is is just me projecting my personality onto him!
The long answer would be that he's actually got a bit of toxic masculinity in him. All those characters have been in the military ever since they were young, where I always liked to think the men would be rather toxic, not wanting to be seen as weak and just wanting to show off how strong and cool they are. I don't usually show too much of it in other characters, but another character who grew up and internalized some toxic masculinity, in my writing, is Soap. But he handles it a bit differently from Rodolfo. However, he would want to be seen as a traditionally strong man as well.
Rodolfo was shaped by his time in the military and started believing that he was not to show very many emotions either. Sure, he will show that he's happy, that he's somewhat annoyed, but not usually to the extent he really feels it, unless there's not a lot to that emotion in that moment. Everyone around him was a show-off, was cocky and somewhat immature as well. He has always been more mature than others his age, but it still rubbed off on him. Deep inside he does still want to show his emotions. But that's showing weakness to him. Sometimes he just wants to cry and have someone comfort him, he almost always wants someone to hold him and be sappy with him, telling him how much they love him. It doesn't even need to be a romantic kind of love, if a good friend of his was to ever tell him that they loved him then he'd be over the moon, even if he'd just answer with a simple "thanks".
Ever since he joined all those wannabe machos that believe that being strong means never showing how damaged you are, he sort of became like them. Sure, he usually has his emotions under control, you usually can't tell he's too upset unless he's about to tear someone's throat out, but that also means that the people close to him will never really hear the truth. He needs to be the big, strong man in your relationship, anything else just isn't acceptable. While he may not believe in all that alpha male nonsense, he does believe that he should be the one to make more money than his partner, that he should always take the bullet for them, that he should fight off any and all competitors out there.
It's more extreme when his partner is a woman, or female aligned, because in that case he really feels as though he has to be her pillar, that he can't show any "weakness" at all. With enough persistent persuasion, he could slowly change his mind, but it would take a while.
That toxic masculinity is also the reason why Rodolfo, as I write him, prefers men. Don't get me wrong, he still loves women, but when with a man it's not as extreme. He won't show everything he feels, but he'll be a bit more at ease. Even initially, he can be more open with a man because there's a kind of kinship he doesn't immediately have with a woman. If his partner is more open with his feelings, then he has a slightly easier time as well. If his partner is a "weak" man, who needs to be protected, then that's alright too. It shows Rodolfo that men don't always need to be those strong, aggressive beings. Besides, that toxic masculinity he believes in applies to him the most, it's not as severe with other people. So he won't hold his partner accountable for showing emotions or being affectionate with him. In fact, Rodolfo actually likes it when his partner is being affectionate with him, it means that he loves him. Rodolfo is affection starved anyway. Sure, Alejandro is affectionate with him, but it's not nearly enough to satiate him. He's very much like a black hole in that regard: No matter how much affection you throw at him, it likely isn't enough. He loves affection, but he won't show it through "normal" means, such as initiating a cuddling session, unless explicitly asked.
If asked, he will do just about anything since that's his job as a strong man, to make his partner happy. If you ask to hold him, then that's one of the only times he'll "swallow his pride". In reality, he could cry because he really just wants to be held. Deep down he wants to be pampered and taken care of as much, if not even more so than, his partner. He's actually a real sweetheart, he just can't show it all the time. Wants to be peppered in kisses and be told that he's the most handsome lad in the world. But alas, he can't even ask for comfort. If he's sad then he'll just swallow it down, not wanting to bother his partner, and, of course, to "seem stronger than he actually is".
So yeah, Rodolfo really suffers from all that toxic masculinity nonsense.
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savage-rhi · 10 months
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Magenta.
#i love my team i rarely if ever say a negative thing because i am grateful to their humanity and compassion toward each other#but I'm aggravated#i don't like imposing my will against others especially when it comes to children#no matter how verbally abusive or physical they try to get when they throw a trantrum or are legitimately triggered#i know there are times where these situations call for more strictness and redirection#but god damn if somehow I'm getting through to that kid in the middle of that and they're talking to me and telling me how they feel#and trusting me to hold space for them#the last thing i need anyone doing is coming in cornering them and being like NUH HUH NOT THAT#“your options are sit in the rain or attend pe!”#cause we're right back at square fucking 1 and also you underminded me in front of the kiddo which hurts me and also may plant the idea#that they can undermine me in the future#i was hired to be a mentor and a specialist#let me be a damn mentor and specialist and work my magic#i had this kid coming down from a 10 with aggression to a 6 within minutes then the conversation got derailed#i like the teacher i work alongside but sometimes i get the impression she doesn't like my methods for getting on the kiddos levels#cause it can be very childlike and yes it does take away time from their education however this is also a treatment facility and school#the mental health component is just as if not more important#cause how can they function and learn if they can't get their basic needs met?#ok off my soapbox#i love helping kids but damn it do the adults in and out of the job don't appreciate that#magenta is my safe word for venting lmao
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medicinemane · 3 months
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Sometimes you have something that you could say, that you think about saying, that you more or less know how you'd phrase it... but it's just not fucking worth it cause you know for a fact that people don't fucking listen
I don't know, I try to stay... if not optimistic then at least with a mind set of "doesn't matter, we've got no choice but to try and make things better"
Truthfully though I think I'm extremely pessimistic when it comes to the chances of anyone actually listening to what I say
I'm not sure if I'm just bad with words but... it seems impossible to convey even simple thoughts to people so... truthfully I've more or less given up and have just stopped trying. Especially if I don't at least know people well
So there it is
#like I could have said this; and I could have said that; and... hmm... I just don't think I would have succeeded in conveying that like...#I'm actually on your side man; I'm in your corner on this#I think you might be tilting at windmills here#but it's not fucking worth it anymore cause history shows me I'd either get no response or one that missed every word I said#and... I just give up... with everything#I don't want to say no one listens because that goes too far; but even with people I like very few people feel like they listen#people I adore where it's like... I'm not sure how you don't get that I can't 'move out' of my house cause... it's my house; like I own it#it's a question of telling someone else they have to leave; but like... I ain't leaving my home... this is mine#and... I don't understand how... this is like the 3rd or 4th time I've had to explain this; and it doesn't add up to me#cause this is someone that's brilliant that I know cares about me#...so I'm mostly confused... and a bit sad and hurt... but mostly I just don't get what I'm doing wrong in communicating#but if that's how I feel about someone I'm close to; how do you think I feel about strangers?#I don't understand what it takes to get people to listen#and like... there's a chance they would have; there's a chance they would have been super receptive#it's just... it's no longer worth the effort to me#it's not worth the effort on a chance; and perhaps I do them a real disservice; and perhaps I do the next person one too#but... there's too many people I run into these days where I'm right and so... I don't know; kinda am closed off at this point#or something; fuck it; doesn't matter#also you people worry too much about me just saying what's on my mind#whatever the fuck I may say here... ain't I cleaning and shit; whatever... hmm...#you'd fucking hate Eeyore; you say you'd like him; but I'm telling you that people can't fucking accept someone being a bit morose#you'd bother him to cheer up; you say you'd accept him; but I'm saying you wouldn't#and I'm saying you wouldn't cause no one can just let me say shit that's on my mind without making a big deal out of it#like at what point do I earn the right to not have to fix myself on top of all the other shit I'm trying to fix?#at what point does taking practical actions to try and improve my situation make up for me saying gloomy shit sometimes?#whatever... doesn't matter#if there's one thing I've learned in life it's that people care very much; and they're fucking horrible at actually supporting people#most people want to very much and suck very badly at it; in part cause they can't just sit with someone; they're always trying to fix thing#mm tag so i can find things later
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celestialmancer · 4 months
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⛈️ //
#tag vent bullshit would highly recommend just scrolling past this if vent bs aint your thing#so run along now for those who would rather avoid. im just tossing in tags bc its easier on me.#anyway… just… …#this stress is really eating me alive & im so tired#ive been crying on & off since yesterday esp w my health taking a swan dive to hell amidst this#but i have to just. deal with.#crying when alone specifically like fuck am i gonna show a damn thing to anyone. fuck no ❤️#esp when it feels like my emotions im feeling are me somehow being manipulative.#because i dont have a right to any of this right. its just a pity party im throwinf for myself.#& yet all these feelings emotions everything i havent processed continue to fester & bubble up to the surface in pure vitriol.#pure hatred & anger bc of it coming from a place of hurt but what does that matter. right? …im just.#i feel manipulative expressing anything. i feel manipulative having feelings. i need to remove them at once. i need them gone at once.#i feel manipulative even so much as talking about situations that hurt me. bc i ‘shoulsnt feel this way’#all this shit to me feels like it just reads as ‘woe is me’ bullshit i hate it so much.#im tired. i dont know. im in distress & emotionally really falling apart but just.#it almost feels more comforting to just let myself bleed out on myself metaphorically speaking than to dare task anyone via asking them#to help me w my own metaphorical wounds. bc then im shoving a burden onto them. & I’m not supposed to do that.#so much for being a pillar of stability for others LMFAOOO. whatever. whatever.#faulty ass pillar that’s just falling apart from being built on an unstable foundation#im tired im tired of hurting both emotionally & physically due to flare ups from the sheer stress as well#& crying feels fucking humiliating & like im just begging for pity.#i shouldnt be fucking crying. i shouldn’t. im supposed to be fine. i say. & at first i was fucking able to fucking.#dissociate & let quinn join me too so i could be fully coldly detached. from it. but thats not happening bc i cant control when she joins#joins front w me. & i almost wish she could take front fully. take front from me fully for as long as this situation keeps going.#even if that means i end up in solitude & w barely much recollection of what may transpire. at least when she’s upfront? i dont have to be.#solitude bc she doesnt like talking to anyone even my own trusted friends.#unless its somehow fucjing necessary but at least w her upfront i just. i dont. have to feel. i can disconnect & forget everything.#i just want to stop fucking falling apart & i have so many unprocessed emotions over this all that feel unacceptable to talk abt STILL.#im that fucking convinced any neg emotion i show is wrong somehow & while ive gotten better w this im still. not. idk. just. w/e. ifg.
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29121996 · 4 months
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.
#all of this is Throwing me down the rabbit hole again btw.#i may not . ever say a fuckign Word to him. but i sure as fuck gst to look at him#and its hard Not To. hes still the prettiest man ive ever looked at!! im still attracred to him !!#i shouldnt be !!! but i am and im allowing that . i cant keep feeling like this tho ABDIDNDJ#i . am going to get So Hurt .#i mean it shouldnt b any different to any other similar situation but UNLIKE every other time .#we actually dated ! i actually love him n have a wild history w him ! its a lot dofferent !#its fine !!!!! im . yelling internally .#and atp i need to get laid . im seriously abt to just send libra a mssg n b like#i know this is weird n u can absolutwly say no. but how do u feel abt having sex#or wtv . bc . this call of celibacy was fun n helpful . but .#eniugh is enough i need to get laid. so i can shake some od whatever the FUCK is going on internally#anyway. im going Crazy internally . i gotta talk to my coworker abt getting a 2 drink max on myself#not vc im actually a menace !!!! or anyrhung !!!!#but bx !!! i keep saying dumb shit abt ppl while theyre around . n its not shit thats like#it cant get me into trouble . itll get me a talking to occasionally#but . (im talking abt one specific thing i sakd n if i dont unravel my ahite lie Now itll look bad)#so im bookibg a sesh w my ips worker to discuss tgis bx . i Fucked Up Kinda . and . i dont know what to do abt it bc i feel guilty#a little. i needed to. like i did what i had to do in the moment . but . i twisted thw truth a little to get what i wanted#n i dont Like That :( not to my manager.#bc she batted 4 me IMMEDIATELY . n i do hate that h eis so well fucking KNOWN.
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dollfacefantasy · 11 days
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MAKE HIM DO WHAT I SAY ♡
pairing: older bf!!logan howlett x fem!reader
summary: you and logan make a little bet. who can last longer without sex? as much as he wants to deny it, he's starting to think the answer might be you.
cw: nsfw (18+), smut, p in v, brief daddy kink (one mention)
a/n: a commission for my sweet @sleepyluxe who i love so very much <33 this fic takes place after the events of dofp when things are fixed.
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Seven days. One week. A quarter of a month. That's how long it had been since Logan and you had fucked.
It was brutal. Some may say he's being dramatic, but that's because they've never had the luxury of you. They couldn't understand losing a paradise they've never experienced. The past several days he's felt like a man wandering through a barren desert, the oasis in sight but never close enough to drink from. Absolute torture
Unfortunately, this situation came about because he couldn't keep his mouth shut.
You'd been getting some work done late last Sunday evening. Just a few plans for the upcoming school week. Your fingers punched away at your computer while Logan lay on the bed twirling a stray cigar between his fingers.
"How many more pages you got?" he asked, boosting his head up to glance at you.
At the sound of his voice, you spun your chair around to face him. "Not that many. Just finalizing a few details for the field trip they're taking the kids on next weekend," you said.
"You're not even going. Why're they making you do that?"
The fat stick of tobacco continued to glide between his digits. One of your legs crossed over the other as you watched him.
"I'm not going because I offered to do all the planning," you reminded him. 
Your eyes stayed on the tantalizing movements of his fingers.
"You know you can't smoke in here, so don't even think about it," you said.
He rolled his eyes and puffed air through his pursed lips as if that was an outrageous warning. Sitting up, he put the cigar back in the drawer on his side of the bed. He rose to his feet and began to cross the room in your direction.
"Maybe you should give me something else to do with my mouth then," he teased, his voice lowering to the octave that reverberated with want for you.
Then it was your turn to roll your eyes. You turned your chair back toward the desk and continued grazing your fingertips over the raised letters.
It didn't deter him though. He kept on in your direction, stopping only when he was directly behind the backing of your seat.
His hands landed on your shoulders, fingers massaging the tight muscles fanning out from your neck. He leaned forward so his head hovered beside yours. You could hear each breath he took. The smell of that cigar lingered around his form even if he hadn't lit up tonight.
"C'mon, babydoll. You've been working so hard. A little break won't hurt you," he murmured, lips pressing against your cheekbone.
"I have to have these done by tomorrow morning. Just give me a few minutes, and then I'll be done for the night and completely focused on you," you'd rebuffed him gently.
But that didn't satisfy Logan. When he wanted you, he got you. He proceeded with his tender touches and luring pecks. You remained focused on your work though. He figured he should vary his approach.
"Just let me make you feel good then, honey. Give you some extra motivation," he whispered. His dedicated hands drifted to your waist, squeezing in a way that teased the idea of lifting you up and putting you on his lap. As good as it would've felt to be full of him, you knew you had to get this done.
"You're so bad," you said with a smile, head falling back a little as his mouth moved to your neck, "You act like you haven't gotten any in decades."
"Is that your way of telling me you're getting tired of me?" he teased.
"No. I'm just saying you're insatiable. It's getting to the point where I don't think you could live without me," you responded with a tone matching his in arrogance.
His eyebrow raised, and he pulled back a little to laugh. "That so?"
"Mhm," you nodded. Your sweet eyes stared him down, begging him to disagree.
Looking back, he wishes he could travel through time again to slap any further words out of his mouth. He should've just agreed! Should've told you that you were absolutely right. That he can't live without you, can't survive this life if he doesn't get to slip inside of you at the end of each day. He should've waited the fifteen minutes it would've taken you to finish your paperwork and then gotten laid.
But he didn't do any of that. He had to keep going and dig himself into a deeper hole.
"Don't act so innocent, princess. You're just as bad as me," he'd said.
"No way," you'd huffed, smirking with amusement, "I want you a totally normal amount. You want me like every second of the day. If you could, I don't think you'd ever let me do anything. You'd probably keep me chained to the bed, yours for the taking at all times of the day.
"Like you wouldn't love that. I'm not the one pawing at you every morning, whining about how bad I need it," he taunted.
"Oh shut up, that's happened like a couple times. Every day you're right in my ear, feeling me up. You practically drag me away from what I'm doing when you wanna fuck," you fired back, "I am nowhere near as bad as you."
And then he'd spoken the three cursed words that launched him into this predicament.
"You wanna bet?"
You laughed more at that and nodded again. "Sure. Because I know I'll win."
And that unofficial vow of celibacy was why the two of you had been dancing around each other for the past week. He was starting to feel like that old love song counting the amount of time it'd been since he had you beneath him last. Fifteen hours and seven days or however it went.
You didn't make this trying time any easier for him either. That night he went to sleep with blue balls. The next morning, he woke up to you getting ready. You weren't dressed in your usual style of clothing though. Instead, you had on a dress, Logan's favorite dress of yours. You'd styled your hair real pretty too, letting it compliment your features in the best way.
As his heavy lids blinked open to consciousness, he watched you fasten a shimmering necklace over your collarbone. It sat just above the neckline of the chiffon fabric that adorned your bust.
You caught his waking eyes with your own in the reflective glass, turning to look at him with a bright smile. 
Despite his bleary vision, he could hear the light steps of you prancing over to him. The mattress dipped with your weight as you sat down and leaned in to kiss his forehead. Your fingers slid through his dark hair just the way he likes, with your nails scratching his scalp a little. Worst of all, that close, the scent of your perfume became all consuming. It hit him harder than normal. He wasn't sure if he should blame you or himself for predicting the trials of the coming days.
He hummed in acknowledgement of your presence and nuzzled into your palm.
"Hey, sleepyhead," you cooed, your voice extra soft and sweet. It was too caring to be seductive, but of course, that's where his mind went anyways.
"Hey, baby," he'd mumbled.
"I gotta go drop off that paperwork, but I'll see you later. I love you," you whispered in return before laying one more column of kisses from the tip of his nose back to his forehead.
Then you'd left, leaving him half-hard and yearning for you. A pattern that would plague him over the next week.
Each day it was some new form of torture. The day after that, you'd worked extra hard in the danger room, coming back to him at night covered in a light sheen of sweat. Your heady natural scent filled the bedroom in moments.
The following afternoon, you wanted to cuddle when you both had some free time. The fact that you draped your leg over his torso, slotting your clothed cunt right against his hip, inches away from his cock, was pure accident of course.
Over the last few days, your games have become less specific. You peppered your speech with innuendo. Looked at him with your fuck-me eyes and spoke in the tone you always used seconds before he ended up bending you over the nearest surface.
He tried to fight back, he really did. He stopped wearing a shirt in your shared room. Every time he talked to you, he made sure to rub your ass or stroke your cheek. He was so desperate he stooped to embarrassing levels of lovey-dovey when the two of you were alone. But no matter what he tried, it seemed like you'd been right. Of your pair, you had the superior restraint.
With each passing hour, his frustration grew.
Today, it reaches its zenith.
The mansion is empty because it's Sunday. All the students and other teachers are out on the trip to the observatory today. You and Logan are the only remaining residents in the school. He ended up not having to tag along with the rest of the group after volunteering to fix the sprinklers bordering the school's patio. Babysitting kids had never been his forte even with all the practice he gets at it now. Simple handiwork he could do no problem.
The two of you take the morning to sleep in. This was a rare occasion where no early meetings or classes occupied your schedules. You stay tangled up together well past sunrise.
Logan is the first to leave the warmth and comfort of your embrace. He pulls himself from the nest of pillows and blankets, stretching his limbs out as he does. He rubs the tiredness from his features before rising and heading to the wardrobe to pull on some clothes.
In addition to his normal black t-shirt and jeans, he grabs the tool belt on his way out to the lawn. He slings it around his hips before walking through the back door. Heading past the basketball court and rows of hedges, he finds the line of leaking sprinklers besides them. It would probably take him a while given that he had to first identify the source of the problem and then recalibrate all of them with the adjustment.
He sighs but gets to work. At least he'd have a distraction from the desires haunting him.
Crouching in the dewy grass next to the little faucets, he begins examining the hard plastic shells. To his surprise, scanning for breaks does attach his mind to the task and give him a brief reprieve. It's quiet outside. Besides a small chirp from a distant bird or a grunt out of him, no other sounds echo over the open space. The sun shines in the sky, but it's not beating down on him. The air tickles his skin with warmth but not to the point of being miserably humid.
All the conditions meet in the perfect middle to keep him calm. It's the most peace he's had since he agreed to this bet between the two of you.
But all that tranquility is shattered about a half hour later when he hears the patter of footsteps against the stone pathway. From around the tall thicket of green foliage, comes you. Your face breaks out into a smile the second you burst into his vision. He would look the same if not for what you'd decided to wear.
You trot over to him across the grass in a pair of tiny black shorts with lacy frills on the hems. They sway with each of your movements, highlighting the shape of your legs. A gray camisole graces your upper half; a delicate white bow sits at the center of the collar, dead center between your breasts. The fit of the garment displays the contour of your chest just right. He feels like he's gonna start drooling before you make it near.
Despite his reaction, the outfit wasn't that provocative. It wasn't like you'd strutted out in lingerie. But he was so pent up that a flash of your ankle in the proper lighting could probably get him hard.
Bounding up to him, you wrap his body in a tight hug. Every curve of your form presses up against him.
"Look at you, working so hard," you praise playfully with a kiss to his cheek.
He laughs it off, returning the hug in an attempt to be normal, so you wouldn't see how vulnerable he was right now, how this was the perfect opportunity to strike. He couldn't let you know that in this moment, he could easily become the prey.
"Were you missing me already?" he asks, rubbing his free hand up and down your spine.
"Mhm. Woke up and you were gone," you reply. You nuzzle the crook of his neck, planting a few electric kisses on his skin.
"I didn't wanna wake you. You're pretty cute when you're sleeping," he mutters.
"Well now I'm gonna be cute out here with you," you say and pull back. You peck his lips one more time before plopping down in the grass behind him.
He glances back at you to see what that means. All you're doing is sitting there. Your legs extend out in front of you, straightened for his eyes to rake over. You lean back with your palms against the moist greenery below you.
"You don't got anything better to do with your day off?" he asks.
That earns him a small pout. "If you want me to leave, I will. I just wanna spend time with you."
He can tell by your tone that your intentions aren't so innocent. You're leading him into allowing your presence. But denying his girlfriend has never been one of the wolverine's strengths so of course, he acquiesces.
"Relax. I'm not telling you to go anywhere," he says as he turns back to his work, "I just don't think this will be that interesting to you."
"Watching you do anything is interesting to me," you joke back.
He rolls his eyes and gets back to work.
At first, things are smooth as before. He continues messing with the small, bendy pipes. You're quiet behind him. Almost too quiet, but he lets it go for now since he thinks he's found the source of the malfunction.
It doesn't take long to patch up. The more difficult part is going to each individual head and fixing the tightness. His fingers twist the little knobs to the correct settings. He then turns to you when he's finally done.
The sight of you feels like a gust of fresh air filling his lungs. You're laid out where you were before, but you've reclined across the ground. One of your arms is sprawled outwards, soaking up the sunlight while the other lazily covers your eyes. Your shadow outlines your figure against the emerald blades below you.
You look luscious and ripe, like a precious fruit ready to be picked and devoured. In any other circumstance, that's exactly what he'd do. He'd spread you out further for him and take you apart piece by piece. He wanted your nectar running down his chin with each savoring lap of his tongue. He craved the feeling of your heat wrapped around him, your walls massaging his shaft during every punishing thrust.
Imagining it now only gets the blood pumping down South to his hardening length.
He runs a hand over his hair and sighs. Why didn't he do that now? What was the point of this stupid fucking contest? It's not like there was anything on the line. The only stake was his pride, which to be honest, he'd already compromised for you multiple times over the course of your relationship.
Unbuckling the leather from his waist, he discards the tool belt. Next he peels his shirt from his body and tosses it to the side.
He makes his way to you on the grass. He drops to his knees and leans forward. His muscular frame cages you in against the ground. Starting at your navel, he drags his nose up your body. He coasts over the valley between your breasts and past your collar bone. His soft exhales breeze across your throat before he finally reaches your cheek. With a gentle pull, he clears your arm from your face.
Your eyes flutter to adjust to the sunlight beaming down on them again. They take in the vision of him so close to you and the way he gazes down with adoration.
"Hey, pretty girl," he says, his voice much softer than it'd been before, "You falling asleep on me?"
His thumb rubs over your jawline while the other strokes the crown of your head. A smile blooms across your lips. You can't help it with how he's behaving.
"No... well, maybe a little. I think you were right. Sprinklers are pretty boring," you say.
He grins and leans in to kiss your lips. With the exchange he hopes to communicate everything he doesn't want to say. I give up. You win.
You reach up and cup his scruffy cheeks. Your tongue swipes against his lips, sensing his longing for intimacy. He allows you in, and you deepen the connection. A long breath oozes from your nostrils.
He presses you down against the ground further as your hands slide over the little white streaks in his hair. Your fingers embed themselves in his locks. You feel his hands sliding down your body. They stop at your hips and give the plush flesh a squeeze.
It's obvious what he wants, but in case there was any doubt, his digits then hook around the top of your shorts and give them a tug.
A giggle bubbles up out of you against his mouth. You pull back to look at him with smug eyes.
"Is that your way of admitting I was right?" you ask.
He grumbles and ducks his head down to start kissing your neck. "Don't get cocky or I'll change my mind."
That makes you laugh more. You yank on his hair and pull him back up to look at you. 
"No you won't," you tease and brush your noses together. Looking into his eyes again, you can see how bad he wants this. "Just say it."
"Say what?"
"Say you're giving in. And that I win. And that you can't live without me."
He gives you a blank stare. Silently, he contemplates if there's any way around this. He wonders if there's a way he can avoid utter humiliation.
"C'mon, baby. Throw an old dog a bone," he grumbles.
Giggling, you shake your head. "Nuh uh. I wanna hear you say it."
He sighs and rolls over, pulling you on top of him. You straddle his hips with learned ease. Your smile glows from this angle. The sunlight above cascades over your frame and only further accentuates your body in your tight clothes. He rubs his hands up and down your sides. His dick is already at half-mast under the denim that covers his lower body. Your heat rests right on top of it, teasing him through the barriers of cloth. It dangles what he could have if he gives you what you want right before him.
The words that challenged you and created this trap for himself came out so easy. Why couldn't these be the same?
To coax him along, you grind down the slightest bit. The pressure's so light and gentle, a mere graze of your mound on the outline of his growing bulge. He hisses at the feeling.
"Just admit it," you say, planting your palms on his chest, "Just say I was right and you were wrong."
He watches you above him, knowing you're not going to drop this. If he wanted this self-invoked dry spell to end, he'd have to make it happen.
You roll your hips down with more force, impatient to hear him comply with your request. A small whimper leaks out of you. He can tell from that sound alone that you're getting worked up. That arousal is beginning to collect between your thighs.
The thought of it makes his need for you almost biological. His hands clamp around your waist and press you down harder. He rocks his up a little to meet your own movements.
"I need you so bad, princess," he sighs, his eyes shutting as he takes in the dull pleasure of you on top of him.
"Then you can say what I told you," you tease.
"What was it again?" he asks as he continues dragging your covered pussy back and forth along his now fully hard shaft.
"Say you're giving in. That I win. And that you can't live without me," you remind him, visibly proud of your victory.
With a sigh, he repeats, "I'm giving in. You win. I can't live without you."
You smile and laugh as if it was the best thing you'd ever heard. Your head falls back with glee before coming up so you can see his face again.
"Actually, can you say that again? I'm gonna grab my phone. That way I can film it this time. I just wanna have a record-" you continue to tease, but you're cut off by your own squeal when he grabs you and flips you back over onto your back. He keeps you quiet by smashing his lips against yours as your back thuds against the grass.
This kiss burns hotter than the last one. His mouth moves with bruising passion as he pulls your shorts down your legs for real. You help him by kicking them loose. His hands roam around over your smooth skin.
He glances down and finds what he thought he felt. No panties.
Eyes flitting back up to you, he shakes his head. "You were gonna give in anyways," he accuses.
"Yeah, but you gave in first," you giggle.
A small growl rumbles in his chest, but he still leans in to pull your tank top up. He brings it across your stomach, letting your breasts fall free as he bunches the material above them. He cups the plump flesh, taking a look at the beauty he holds in his palms. You watch him in the fleeting interval in which you're forced to separate.
"So... since I win, what do I get?" you continue to gloat.
"My dick inside you," he answers as his fingers yank his zipper open and shove down his pants in a similar fashion to your shorts.
"But I'm gonna get that anyways. I think I should get a real prize," you say, aiming to stoke the flames higher.
Your hips get hauled closer across the grass, so fast that you're in danger of having green smeared across your skin.
"I don't think you'll be complaining in a few minutes, ya little brat," he mumbles.
His fist pumps over his cock as he lines it up between your legs. The leaky tip smears some precum over your folds before he slides inside. He groans as he sinks in, cherishing the feeling after the week of its absence.
You're quick to adjust to the stretch. With a sharp breath, your back arches off the grass. He had already snapped back and slammed in again. You knew he wouldn't be patient after being deprived of this. Watching him above you, your eyes study how his chest puffs in and out with harsh breaths. His strong arms extend down on either side of your head, his fists holding clumps of grass between them. 
It's a gorgeous view, but you know it can't beat the feeling.
"Closer..." you whine and grab at his shoulders, pulling him down so he's right on you and smothering your body against the turf, "Missed you, old man."
"How many times have I told you to quit it with that?" he asks as his pelvis begins setting a rhythm.
"Enough to know that I'm never gonna," you say. It's the last thing you can get out before moans shatter your plans to speak.
His warm flesh pounds against yours over and over. Your body rocks with the bounce of him on top of you. It feels so good. The world feels bright again, like you'd transitioned from an existence of black and white to living in color. It was so open out here but also so empty. Like you and him were the only two people on earth.
Your voice tapers off. Words become second to whimpers of pleasure. His hands grope the swell of your ass before returning to your sides for steady leverage.
"We'll have to work on that then," he grunts, "If you're not gonna stop, I'll just have to make sure you can't speak at all."
You preen at the idea, clutching at his muscular shoulders and back. He pants right next to your ear. Each stroke drives deep into you, brushing a spot that had ached for him to touch it again.
"Never wanna go that long again," you babble around whines.
"Me neither, baby. Think you were right. Not being able to feel this pretty little pussy every day almost killed me," he says.
A rush of euphoria flows through you upon hearing that. Your moans become more breathy, more full of need for him. You grab one of his wrists and tug his hand off your hip, pushing it in between your legs.
He knows what you want. His fingers apply some pressure and rub at your swollen bundle of nerves. Immediately, he's rewarded with a whine out of you and a buck from your hips.
"Impatient," he huffs between a set of deep thrusts.
"I won," you retort, "I get to do what I want."
Even in the heat of the moment, he chuckles at your petulant tone. His hips keep rutting against you on the grass. He's sure his next task of yard-work will be covering the mysterious indents in the soil out here.
"I needa cum, Logan," you whine several seconds later, "So close."
"Yeah? You need it, sweetheart? Need to let it out after keeping it from me for so long?"
Your head bobs up and down in an enthusiastic nod. "Please, please, please."
"Well, it's like you said. You won. So I think you can finish when you're ready."
"Mmmm- o- ok..." you whimper out.
Your hips roll up and down to reciprocate the fast pace of his own. He's battering right up against that special spot inside you that makes your mind blank and your eyes gloss up.
With a handful of whimpers, you cum. Your face scrunches as your cunt tightens around him. His fingers keep up the same rhythm on your clit, swirling around the little bud through your pleasure high.
"That's my girl," he praises, "Let it all out for daddy."
Your body seizes up at that command. Every cell of your being somehow knows to obey. You stumble over words and let them leave your lips half formed.
He keeps driving into you as you're coming down, chasing his own release. You're well into the territory of overstimulation now, all parts of you fizzling like a lit sparkler.  Your thighs quiver against his sides violently. They lock around his waist when you finally feel him slam in and drain himself.
A loud groan erupts from him. He makes no effort to restrain it given that only the two of you are here to hear it. He fucks it into you, ricocheting himself against your center a couple more times and letting every last drop pour into your dripping hole.
When he feels sated, at least for the moment, he reluctantly pulls out. He takes a couple deep breaths as he watches a bit of his cum ooze out of you. It didn't matter though. That wouldn't be the last load you took today.
His body topples over next to yours on the natural ground. You both lie there for a few moments catching your breath before you roll onto your side to look at him.
You just stare for a few moments. Your eyes roam along the shape of his face to the slope of his jaw and the curve of his chest. Leaning in, you kiss the space below his ear.
He responds to the touch by curling his arm around your waist and pulling you to his side.
His head turns to meet your loving gaze.
"I think we have some more time to make up for," he says.
You respond with an eager nod and hop up to your feet. Both of you pull on the basics of the clothes you'd been wearing before and rush back into the mansion, giggling as you stumble through the halls like a couple of lovesick teenagers.
The door to your room stays shut for the rest of the day. You spend the remaining hours you have enmeshed in each other; intertwined with him enough to recover from the lack you'd put yourself through.
Logan doesn't venture beyond the barrier of your shared sanctuary until the sun has gone down and darkness coats the halls of the mansion.  He walks quietly, taking his steps carefully to ensure none of the wooden planks beneath him creak.
All he had to do was go downstairs and grab you some water. In and out. Five minutes. But as he rounds the turn into the room, Scott's already there, looking through the fridge. He freezes and stands there awkwardly in his black tank top and loose sweatpants.
Having heard the sounds of his footsteps, the other man glances over at him. 
"There you are. Didn't see you around when I got back," he says simply.
Logan shrugs, trying to play it casual. He walks across the room toward the cupboard that holds the glasses. The other man's eyes follow him. He can feel that even through the scarlet shades on his face.
"Haven't seen your other half either," Scott continues.
Logan can tell from the tone of his voice where this is going. 
"Don't call her that," he scoffs, forever downplaying his attachment to you, "She's tired. She's upstairs sleeping."
"On her day off? I wonder what would have her so drained," Scott replies. His tone is flat in contrast to the little smirk on his face.
"Don't start," Logan says. He goes to the fridge to fill your cup with water. The trickle of the fluid is the only sound in the room until Scott keeps going.
"I didn't say anything," he says, raising his hands in surrender, "Only that this is the best mood you've been in all week."
"A couple hours without you around does wonders for me," Logan grumbles, wishing the liquid would pour a little faster.
"I'm sure. A couple hours with no one else around. Just the two of you after you've both been stiff the whole week," he taunts, "It's ok to admit you're whipped."
Finally, the cup is full. Logan takes it and turns away, holding one finger up as he walks from the kitchen.
"See you tomorrow, Scott."
"Yeah. Tell her if she's feeling sore, she can skip the early meeting," he says with a little laugh.
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daydreamer-in-reverie · 4 months
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Started rereading the Hunger Games series and I feel like it’s so overlooked how in 74th and 75th Hunger Games, we don’t know every Tribute’s names, with Katniss only referring to them by their District numbers but in TBOSAS, we knew every single Tribute by name. We associated them with the clothes they wore on the Reaping Day and Suzanne even goes so far as to describe how they looked, however briefly. We see these Tributes and we’re familiarized with them by the little tidbits provided to the mentors and to Snow and Lucy Gray. But we never get this in the original trilogy.
In two generations, President Snow alienated the Districts from each other so much that Katniss didn’t even care to know all the names of the Tributes sent into the Arena with her, with the exception being those who posed great risk against her safety and those she felt great compassion for (e.g. Cato, Thresh, Rue, Mags, Betee, Wiress etc.). Katniss even went so far as to call the D6 Tributes in the 75th Hunger Games morphlings, for their affinity to imbibe in the drugs that help them forget their own traumas (an incredibly hurtful description, in my own opinion, to be known by the qualities you hate the most about yourself). We never know the real name of the 74th D5 girl, with Katniss only referring to her as Foxface and we don’t even know Marvel’s name until we get to the second book and he was Katniss’ first personal kill. Katniss even kills the D4 girl in the books with the same tracker jacker venom that killed Glimmer and yet still, we don’t know her name. We are so removed from the identity of the other Tributes that we don’t even know what some of them looked like beyond brief descriptions of mangled bodies and dead Tributes in the bloodbath at the Cornucopia.
And, the thing is, Suzanne established the importance of names in the series. Even in real life, we recognize the importance of being named. It is a fundamental aspect of being human. If you’re ever in a perilous situation where a person might be placing your life in danger, we’re told to remind the person that you’re human. “Keep saying your name, how old you are, where you came from. Remind them you are a human being just like them.” Before any propaganda can work against a group of people, refusing to recognize a person’s name is the first step to dehumanization. And just like the people of the Districts, we don’t care enough about the other Tributes to even want to know their names. Their propaganda worked on us, the readers.
In two generations, President Snow completely wiped out any sense of familiarity and camaraderie the Districts may have shared with the other. In two generations, Snow sowed the seeds of distrust and division into the Districts so deeply that even we, the readers, were affected by the effects of Capitol propaganda. In two generations, the Districts ceased to genuinely care about the others beyond the vague sense of injustice they feel for their shared plight. It’s why Career Districts don’t seem to care about killing the other Tributes. How can you care, to show your compassion and humanity, when you can barely see them as people? Yes, they may have been in the Arena with you. Yes, they may have been starved and beaten and forced into labor like you were. Yes, they might be children just like you. Yes, they might be subjected to the same deplorable system that turned you into virtual slaves. But they are not your friends. They are not your allies. They are strange, with different customs and traditions that you have. You do not share the same values. They do not care about you. At the first chance they get, they will kill you with your bare hands and they will do it with alacrity if it meant their survival. There can only be one Victor and it can’t be them. It has to be you.
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borderlinereminders · 2 months
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If you’re someone who needs reassurance from loved ones that they love you, that’s really valid. But the way you ask for it matters. Hinting at it with comments like “nobody loves me” can actually be hurtful to your loved ones. It’s also a good idea to try and reassure yourself first!
The truth is that for a lot of people, giving reassurance constantly is exhausting. It can lead to issues in a relationship over time, and negative feelings on both sides because they may end up avoiding the other person. This is especially true if someone doesn't ask for reassurance directly but hints at it with things like "No one cares about me."
My advice is if you are finding yourself struggling is to first try and self soothe either with skills or things that have helped in the past. Here is my post on self-soothing ideas! And if that doesn’t work, then ask for it in a healthy way.
Some other examples.
Keep screenshots, letters, cards etc that affirm you are cared about by your loved ones. You can even ask someone to give you a recording of them saying it that you can listen to. Bonus: Keep these things in a self-care box that you can use in times of crisis and pull out that has other things in like affirmation cards, favourite treats, self care items, etc.
Examine the evidence. By this I mean try and keep a list of things they've done to show they care about you. For example, I have a list of things my partner has done for me besides saying "I love you" of both big things and little things that I can read when my brain decides to be rude to me and make me doubt he cares.
If the other person has done something specifically to make you feel they don't care, it's important to step back and look at the situation and check the facts. There's a difference between someone lying to you or doing something intentional and someone not replying to you because they got busy. Here’s my post on checking the facts!
Here’s a post on Challenging Irrational Thoughts!
ACCEPTS is a really good skill for distractions! Here's a post on it.
TIPP is a good skill if you are needing to calm down in immediate crisis. Here's a post on it.
If you're having urges to accuse your loved one of not caring, consider Urge Surfing (here's a post on it) and then using a skill or plan that helps you.
If you aren't able to self-soothe that's so valid! It really is. I recommend trying it because sometimes you will be able to. But then sometimes you won't be able to and that's okay. In this case, if you need to get it from someone, ask directly for it instead of doing it in a guilting/passive aggressive/hinting way. You might say "Hey. I know you care about me, but my brain is being rude. Can you please give me some reassurance?" instead of "Sorry I'm such a bad friend/person/burden/etc".
It might also be worth having a conversation when calm with the other person to establish some boundaries and ideas for communication.
For example, if your friend regularly feels drained by you asking for reassurance, they could set boundaries on how often they're okay for you to ask for it.
You both might decide that they will try and message you randomly to offer reassurance because it can mean a lot when that happens.
This might be where they send you messages/recordings/etc that you can read in times of need.
If the friend is doing something specifically, even unintentionally, that makes you question things then it's really valid to have a discussion about it! I recommend using some I-Statements or other communicative skills to talk about it. Even if they aren't doing something wrong, it's still valid to talk about your feelings and see if you can come up with a solution. For example, maybe it's really hard on you that they disappear randomly for a couple days when their energy levels plummet. And this causes you to spiral and think they're ghosting you or etc. In this situation, maybe you and your friend come up with a solution where you establish a single emoji (specific for this purpose) that the friend can send with low energy that says "Hey. It's not you but I'm feeling drained and need to not reply for a bit."
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myladysapphire · 3 months
Text
You belong with me
you and jace were childhood friends, you never left eachothers side growing up, but that all changed once you both went off to university.
CW: MDI, 18+, smut, p in v, oral (f receiving), fingering, angst, jealousy, unrequited love (kinda), love confessions, not proofread!
word count: 5,896
modern Jace x fem!reader
Masterlist
a/n based of taylor swifts you belong with me, lyrics and music video.i also have very little knowledge of american uni or football, but i tried my best though!
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You and Jace had grown up, side by side. Your mothers had been the best of friends, and so naturally you both were also. For your entire lives you knew everything about each other, your traits your habits, you knew each other better than you knew yourselves. You made every decision together, especially the decision to go to Dragonstone university together.
And that decision changed everything.
It wasn’t a surprise that Jace became so popular, he always had been. Always so able to draw a crowd and make friends in any situation.
And you, you had always been one to take a backseat. Happy in the friends you had, and never one to put yourself out there as he did.
And sadly, that seemed to be your first mistake.
He had joined the football team, finding new friends and a new crowd quickly.
You stuck to your old friends. Making small efforts to know the endless crowds of people at university.
And so, he and you started to spend less time together, and more and more time apart.
And then he got a girlfriend.
Sara Snow.
The cheer captain.
And the sister of his new best friend, Cregan Stark.
And suddenly you weren’t apart of his life anymore. You had found out he had a girlfriend from sitting on the bleachers at one of his games and seeing her run towards him and shove her tongue down his throat.
As time went on, your texts to one another became less and less, your replies delayed, and sporadic, and his ever more so.
Your study sessions stop, nights in together became nights in apart.
It hurt, you had loved him for so long, as a friend and a lover. Not that he knew. All you could do no was stare in envy as you lost your best friend and never even got a chance to say goodbye.
That year was a strange one, you now watched each other from the outskirts, you didn’t know each other every thought or where they were at all times.
Ther person you looked to in every room, no longer there, no longer was he the person you would text at every opportunity, or share looks as you reacted to what other people were saying.
Now you only knew each other in passing, a few texts here and there, mostly about your course, or if you were going home for summer or the weekend.
And when you both were home, it was so different. Once you would spend all day together, planning your days with each other. And now, you may sit in the same room, but little more than small smiles and small talk was shared between you.
And the few times you did feel you could talk to him; he would be, interrupted by his new friends coming to whisk him away.
The last three years you started to get used to not having Jace as a constant presence, instead you found great comfort in your other friends, you had always been close to them, and apart of you was grateful as you began to realise the love of female friendships, rather than just the love of Jacearys Strong.
It was Friday, the week before the big football game. The game everyone talked nonstop about, even Jace, as he had messaged you asking if you were coming to the game.
You had yet to respond.
Once you were his biggest cheerleader, sitting on the bleachers shouting his name. Now you no longer cheered his name, though you always sent him a kind smile when he did look for you in the crowd.
But unlike before you no longer went to every game, and as time went on you went to less and less.
 “Are you going to the game on Friday?” Maris asked. You were all sat in a private study room, preparing for your midterms.
You shrugged “maybe, I’m not sure yet”
“of course, we all are! It’s the big game, everyone’s talked about it nonstop!” Baela said beside you, “and I also don’t want to miss watching Cregan stark all hot and sweaty, now would I?” she said with a laugh, she and him had been casually hooking up for a past year, and with the way he looked at her she was sure they were soon to become more.
You laughed, “perhaps for you maybe, not that I have anyone worth ogling over”.
“Sure, you don’t” Heleana giggled from the other side of the table “poor Jacey would miss you terribly if you don’t go”.
“Oh please, he wouldn’t care if I was there or not” you rolled your eyes.
“Oh? Aside from his on again off again weird little thing with Sara Snow, Jace is, besotted with you!” Maris interjected.
“she’s not wrong” Rhaena spoke,
“Really?” you shook your head, “perhaps once, but he rarely speaks more than a few words to me anymore”.
“Perhaps that’s because he realised how hot you are” Baela said, sending you a wink.
“Oh gods, do you remember the look on his face when you slept with Justin Lannister in our first year” Maris laughed, “he looked like a kicked puppy!”
“Especially when he saw the hickey he had left” Heleana added.
You shook your head “I think he was more disgusted with the fact I slept with Justin than anything else”.
“hmm” Rhaena hummed, “and when you and Aemond dated in high school, what about then?”
“Oh gods, don’t bring that up” Heleana grumbled, “it still brings me nightmares, from when I walked in- “she fakes gagged at the memory.
“Okay stop it, I think you’ve all proved your point!” you sighed, “maybe once he had a crush on me, but not anymore!”
They all shared a look.
“And what about your crush on him?”
“What crush?” you said defensively.
They all laughed.
You stood up dramatic, gathering your books, “if I go to the game will you all shut up?”
“We make no promises!” Maris said, laughing once more.
“Ughh, I don’t know why I put up with you lot” you grumbled, as you went to leave.
“Because you love us” Heleana, answered.
“And Jacey too” Baela added.
you rolled your eyes as you left, heading home for the weekend.
You returned home often, your mother was all alone with out you there, though you did often find Rhaenyra, Jace’s mother, in her company. You loved seeing them both, finding Rhaenrya presence to be as much as a comfort as your own mothers.
Its one of the reasons your friendship with Jace fading into what it was now, hurt so much.
Before you had practically lived at Jace’s house growing up and now you rarely went over there, despite living next door, your bedroom windows facing one another. It hurt, seeing the life you knew suddenly disappear. To spend the summers in your own home, having your friends come to yours rather than to his, especially when you could see him on his bed, and you on yours.
He had changed, though not so much that he seemed a stranger to you, though his company was certainly strange. He knows hung out around Aegon a lot more, though he had once avoided him as often as he could. You were glad he had yet to adopt Aegon’s personality, the self-entitlement mixed with the self-loathing. Jace remained kind, his gaze often on yours whenever you were in the same room together. Something you had heard Aegon mock on several occasions.
As you walked into your house, the taste of cinnamon and sound of laughter flooded your senses. It was no surprise to see your mother in the kitchen, and even less of a surprise to see Rhaenyra with her, a smile graced your face as you approached the pair.
“mama” you greeted, “Nyra”.
“Oh darling, I didn’t know you were coming home!” your mother greeted, pulling you into a hug.
“I came home to study, I couldn’t focus with all the football stuff going on” you sighed, dumping your bag on the kitchen table.
Rhaenyra laughed, “yes Jace has talked nonstop about the football” she then looked at you with a sad look, “are you planning to go?”
“I’m not sure yet” you replied, stealing one of your mother’s cinnamon rolls from the counter.
“I’m sure Jace wants you there, he misses your rituals you know” Nyra spoke, coming to sit down at the table you now sat at.
“He does?” you did too, he was the reason you got into football in the first place and watching him without your rituals or watching games without Jace’s constant commentary.
“I know he does” she smiled, reaching for your hand, as your mother moved towards to the table.
“Believe it or not, darling, he talks about you often” she gave you a teasing look.
You shook your head, “if only he talked to me and not about me more” moving to stand up and head for your room.
“He said he was coming back this week, perhaps he will” Nyra called out as you started to walk up the stairs.
As you lay on your bed, your eyes moving to investigate Jace’s room. You laid there for a while, hoping they would open.
And they did. He had clearly just returned home just like yourself, his face tired, as he moved to sit on his bed, his face downcast, no smile in sight.         
You moved to sit up, and as you did, he saw you, a small smile gracing his face.
He sent you a small shy wave, and for a moment you felt as if you and he were back to normal.
But then his smile disappeared as his phone rang.
She tried to not watch as he argued with someone, his girlfriend you assumed. They always argued, she was always upset about something he had said, she never got his humour, not like you once did.
You couldn’t think of anything they truly had in common, then again you didn’t know either of them, not anymore.
On paper It made sense them being together, she was cheer captain and he on the football team, whilst you, you were on the bleachers, watching the game and waiting for his victory, whilst she would cheer him on, in his direct view. Ever the supporting act, and you the extra.
Before Uni, you and been his biggest and though you still supported him, it hurt a little seeing her cheer his name, especially since you never knew if they were off or on again until her, she shoved her tongue down his throat.
You and he used to have a ritual before each game. the day before you would always bunk of school, and he would always somehow convince you to join him on his run, you would run side by side, your phones listening to same playlist. (You and he had always had the exact same music taste, music she didn’t like, if the  though few parties hosted by his frat and her sorority were anything to go off of)Then you would spend the night staying up and watching the same three movies, before falling into a sugar induced coma only to be woken up by Nyra and Luke aggressively shilling you both awake screaming that your going to be late, and when you did finally wake up Jace would always force you both to take an ice bath, claiming it to be a good way to wake you up. You never believed him, and it would take him pulling you into the water with him for you to join him.
You would be there for every game and event, cheering from the bleachers.
And now as you watched him arguing with his girlfriend, you wished you knew what they were saying, there issues. A part of you regretted not trying harder to stay friends with him, even though it was him who moved away from you, not you away from him.
You reached down under your bed, trying to find the old sketchbook you used to use to talk to Jace before you both had phones.
You didn’t have his number anymore, having deleted it off your phone, though you remembered it off by heart, a part, something you could never bring yourself to forget it.
You didn’t want to text him, it didn’t feel right, you are reaching out first almost didn’t feel right either but eh looked hurt and you deep down still cared.
Finding a pen you quickly wrote, “you, okay?” Finding a pen you quickly wrote, “are you okay?”
He had sat down on his bed, head in his hands before looking up to see you turn the paper around.
A smile graced his face as he shrugged and reached for his own sketchbook and pen.
“Tired of drama” he wrote.
You laughed a little at his message, writing “sorry” with a sad face beside it, shrugging as you turned the paper around
And he shook his head, moving to stand up as you went to write something else, only for him to shut his curtain before he could see what you wrote. 
You shrugged of his easy dismissal, and how so few words were exchanged before he decided to end the conversation.
You had finished you studying, content and ready for your exams, so blasting your music on full volume you started to dance around your room.
Unbeknownst to you, he watched you dance, a smile pulling at his face as he realised you were the same as always. You danced like no one was watching singing along to the songs as you did. And he smiled, laughing at your antics as he remembered how you used to pull him up and dance with you.
He regretted how he ended his friendship with abandoning you, he wasn’t even sure why he did it. He knew he hurt you. He feltBu, for his own selfish somehow, he had made gain. He had made new friends; he, he was popular and on the uni football team. He liked the spotlight always had and was half to have all these new friends. He had made a great bond with but in doing so he lost his truest friend and the woman he loved.
He had decided to talk to you, to apologise and make up for what he did. So, as he saw you at outside the bench outside both your houses he came over and sat beside you. So, as he saw yous at outside the bench outside both your houses he came over and say beside you.
“hey” you heard a voice say beside you, as you turned your head to see Jace sit beside you.
“hey” you said back, as your hair falling in front of your face. He reached his hand forward, to brush the hair out of your eyes, and tucking it behind your ear.
 “How have you been?” he asked, his hand lingering slightly. You stared at him fro a moment, he still dressed the same, with the same worn-out jeans, the same smile, but with better hair.
You supposed you looked entirely different, though at the same time you hadn’t changed either. Your curled hair was no longer a frizzy messed, but well maintained. You didn’t wear your glasses much anymore, now favouring contacts. He seemed to smile as he took you in, staring at your eyes.
“I’m good, you?”
“Good, excited for the game…” he kept talking and it felt like old times again, you thought, it was so easy, to return to how it once was, chatting about nothing in particular.
He smiled as he spoke to you, happily chatting away. His smile was the same as always, a smile you sworn could light up a town.
“I haven’t seen you in a while” you said after a pause.
“yeah” he said awkwardly, scratching his head “I’m sorry about that, I never meant to- “a car pulled up, with Sara Snow in it.
He got up suddenly, mumbling goodbye as he did. His smile had faded, and turned into a forced smile, the kind of smile you gave to a stranger you passed in the hallway, as he got into her car. She instantly pulled him in for a kiss, her eyes staring you down as she did.
You had never actually talked to her before, never known anyone who had, but you did know Cregan, though not well, and he rarely said anything nice about his sister.
They drove away after that, Jace looking at you over his shoulder as they did.
The rest of the day you kept too yourself, focusing on studying. Jace had yet to return home, the light off in his room. Not that you were checking.
He had sent you a text, “sorry”, nothing more. You hadn’t replied, you didn’t even know what to say.
From the corner of your eye, you saw the light in his room turn on.
He walked in with a downtrodden look. He had spent the whole day with her and felt only regret on not spending it with you.
He and sara were on and off again, never anything serious, no feelings past lust. Especially after how she talked about you today. He ended it officially, and he couldn’t be happier. Especially when he saw yous at at your bed.
He reached under his bed for his sketchbook, reminiscing on how even as children you couldn’t spend an hour with out talking to one another.
It had all changed after uni, and he regretted not dragging you with him as he changed.
“hey” he wrote holding it up hoping you would look, and as luck would have it you did.
You seemed unsure as you yourself grabbed your own sketchbook, writing the words.
“what’s up?”
“I wanted to see if you were okay”.
You furrowed your brows “yeah?”
He sent you a small smile, before grabbing his phone and calling you.
“Hey?” you answered, your tone nervous.
“Hey!” he said trying to lighten your mood a little, “i’m sorry about earlier it won’t happen again”.
Yous kissed your teeth nodding your head, “right” his actions early hadn’t supposed you, they only made you realise that you and he won’t ever return to how you were before. Choosing each other first always, and never up and leaving each other mid conversation.
“I…. i broke up with her, officially”.
You hummed, he nervously coughed.
“I I know I hurt you when I started dating her, and i…I am so sorry, I just got so caught up in the idea of it all, these…these past few years have been a torment to me, watching as you seemed perfectly okay with us not…not being us anymore and I didn’t know how to…how to talk to you or-“
“i wasn’t perfectly okay with it” you interrupted him “at not point was I okay with loosing my best friend” you shook your head, glaring at him through the window “I tried to talk to you  and you shook me off, you chose her over an 18  year long friendship, how would I be okay with It!”
“I didn’t!” he said quickly, his face panicked, “I-I I messaged you I swear I did I sent you so many messages and you never replied”.
“No, you didn’t, I get the odd one but the second is as her shove her tongue down your throat I haven’t received these “many messages” you claim to have sent”.
“what?” he looked shocked through the window, “I told you about her, how I got drunk and slept with her at a party and how she wouldn’t take no as an answer, you never replied, I sent you countless texts about going to study together or hanging out and you never showed up!”
“What! You never showed up when I asked you!” you were near shouting now.
“You never asked me- “
“Neither did you!”
You heard your mum call you are asking if you were okay. You went silent, “we can’t do this over the phone”.
“Meet me at the backdoor” you looked at him nodding your head.
“hey” you said as Jace opened his back door, pulling it closed behind him.
“hey” he said moving towards you, “look, clearly there was some reason we never got these texts”.
You looked at him in disbelief, shaking your head, “gods Jace I didn’t realise you were so blind!” you laughed, “look I don’t know her or anything about her but, are you sure Sara never used your phone and maybe deleted the messages?”
“Umm…no?” he said unsure, “why would she do that”.
“Oh, please Jace, you and I have known each other our whole lives, and when we first started uni, we were acting like a married couple, she probably wanted me out the way so she could date you”.
“But we weren’t…we’ve never- “he stuttered awkwardly.
“Have you never once thought of me-?”
He cut you off, “no!” he said it too fast, so fast that you were unsure if he meant it.
“Really? Because I have, I did” you replied, sending him a shy look. You had hopped he had to and that you are saying this would make him say it in return.
He looked at you shocked, not expecting your admission, then his face turned guilty.  “I know” he said looking down, “but at the time I- I saw you nothing more than a…a friend and so I…I dated Sara to push you away in hope you would stop seeing me as more than a friend.” He scratched his head awkwardly, looking down his eyes filled with guilt.
 “oh” that’s all you could say. It was the first time you had ever admitted you had actually liked him, and to be rejected so clearly. To know the reason why he was with Sara, the reason he was with her in the first place was to get rid of you, it hurt more than three years of only passing words and fading friendship.
“I. I’m sorry I… I broke up with her though”.
You laughed a humourless laugh, almost in disbelief “I well that makes what you said better” you scoffed, truing around to leave.
He grabbed your arm, “No…I” he whispered your name, “I… I do like you like that… I’m just before her id dint realise my feelings for you and I do know…”
You scoffed, “right… so it took fucking another woman and ignoring me for three years, to save me from my feeling, made you realise you liked me to?”
“Yes.” He nodded.
You laughed, a short scoff of a laugh, “by the gods Jace you’re an idiot” this time when he grabbed your arm as you went to leave you only shook him off, storming up to your room and leaving the curtains shut for the rest of the weekend.
That week you swear you saw Jace everywhere. He seemed to follow you almost.
Though you were both doing the same course, meaning 90% of your lectures were together.
“Why is Jace following you?” Maris asked as you both walked out of your seminar.
“Oh gods, I haven’t told you, have I?”
She laughed, intrigued, “no, what happened”.
You looked down laughing as you tried to tell her, “Well Jace and I finally talked and he… admitted he liked me?”
“What!”
“that’s not it… but he also told me that he knew I liked him and that was the reason he started dating Sara… so I would stop liking him”.
“What the hells?” Baela said as she caught up to the pair of you, “did I just hear that right”.
“don’t even get me started! But I basically told him he was an idiot; I mean who hurts someone like that!”
“Idiots!” Maris and Baela said simultaneously.
And as they did you saw Jace appear from around the corner, two coffees in hand. He had a hopeful look in his eyes as he walked towards you.
“Speak of the devil” you mumbled, as you turned to your friends, “I’ll be back in a minute” you said as you walked towards him.
“Jace” you greeted. “What do you want now?”
“To apologise” he said handing you a coffee, “I really am sorry, I never should have done what I did, and I should have told you, and not kept it from you.” He looked at you, his face kin to puppy scrounging for food.
“Then why did you?” You said as you ushered him to an empty room.
“I was scared. “He admitted, smiling shyly, “all my life I had loved you and everyone told me you did too, and then. then you and Aemond started dating and I thought they all were lying to me and how could you ever love me and when you could be with him”
In truth it took you until after your relationship with Aemond to realise your feelings for Jace, in fact it was Aemond who broke up with you because he saw said feelings first.
He continued. “And then you broke up and everyone was telling me to take a chance, and then uni started, and I got scared and realised that you did I fact like me too. But for some reason I was convinced that being in a relationship in uni would only tear us apart. So… so I decided to take a step back and stop whatever romantic feelings we had- “
“That wasn’t your choice to make Jace, maybe for yourself but my own feelings? You had no right!”
“I know… I know. I was- I am an idiot and…I’m sorry, truly.”
You sighed, you could see he was really sorry, and yet an apart of you didn’t want to forgive him. But another part of you wanted to jump into his arms and forgive him.
“I want us to be friends.” He said, with a hopeful gaze. And your heart broke all other again.
“no” you stepped back, “you know of my feelings, and… I-I can’t be your friend, I can’t ignore those feelings, I won’t, I can’t” tears welled in your eyes at the look on his face.
“I don’t know if I can give you what you want.”
“Why not?”
“Because I have loved you my whole life, and I have already screwed that up, I can’t risk whatever we have now for a relationship.” “we have nothing, we are not friends, not lovers, nothing. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain”.
“No, I have everything to lose, I have already lost your friendship, I can’t risk breaking your heart and loosing you forever!”
“So, because you’re afraid of the possibility of us breaking up you won’t try?” you shook your head, “I can’t believe you! I don’t understand what you want! And you clearly don’t see what I want either!” you went to leave, “I can’t anymore Jace, I just want, I can’t look at you without my heartbreaking. You broke my heart and our friendship once before because you feared losing me forever, well know I think you might have lost me anyway.”
You left without another word or a single glance.
The week passed slowly, your friends were a great comfort and your exams seemed to breeze past you, but the nagging in your back of your mind was constant.
The regret and want. The want to see Jace, to take back what you said and make him realise what an idiot he was. And the regret from not grabbing his face and kissing him.
You and he had been each other’s first kiss, using the excuse of ‘practice’ to cover up you real feelings. It had been awkward, with nose and teeth clashing, and then before you knew it the kisses became perfect, casual even. You had both been sure it was the start of something. And then you ruined it by saying yes when Aemond asked you on a date. You never regretted dating him, he was your first love, your first everything. But not your first kiss. He made you realise what love was and that it was what you had with Jace all along.
Then University started, you lived in the same halls, saw each other every moment of everyday, cooking together, studying together. And then the casual kissing came back. Sweet kisses goodbye or good morning. And then one day you had lingered, and he had pushed back. Your daily routine faded, and then it all happened. The football team and Sara Snow.
It would of been better had he just stopped kissing you, stopped initiating the kisses. Instead, he left you, and now you had done the same to him.
And yet here you stood, getting ready for the big football game, with all your friends.
You wore a jersey, his. The day he got on the team he had gotten you both a jersey. It had sat unworn in a box under your bed since then. It fit perfectly, his name written in bold on the back, alongside his lucky number. The number you had picked, the number that was conveniently todays date.
You stared into the mirror taking a deep breath as your friends all readied themselves. You weren’t sure exactly what you planned to do, but either way Jace would regret ever saying no to dating you.
Everyone was at the game, including the entirety of Jace’s family, you found yourself sat next to Rhaenrya and Luke. You sat right at the front, practically, on the field, meaning Jace could see you, and more importantly you in his jersey. They had all taken notice of your jersey, with Harwin sending you a teasing look.
It was loud and chaotic, the entirety of the university at the event and for good cause as Jace’s team had won.
You hadn’t really paid any attention, your eyes solely focused of Jace.  
He made eye contact with you, solely you and came rushing forward. You stood up moving yourself and before you knew it, he had sweeped you up into is arms. Spinning you around, he whispered like a chant “I’m so sorry, I regret everything I never should have- “
You shut him up, taking his mouth with yours in a slow passionate kiss. Moaning into each other’s mouths, you realised you both had got on lost in the crowd, as everyone had run into the field. Leaving you to find a moment alone, to finally reconnect and admit your feelings.
“Come with me” he said grabbing your hand, leading you away from the crowd and field.
“I’ve never taken anyone here before” he said once you finally reached your destination, it was a sweet little outlook with a view of the island. “The day I found it I wanted to save it, for you”.
You looked at each other, hands entwined.
“I love you” you both said in unison, bringing a smile to each of your faces.  
“I am so sorry about everything, I don’t know why I said what I did, why I asked to be friends and nothing more. I’m a fool”
“You’re my fool” you laughed, “in fact were both fools, I don’t know why we kept this from each other for 21 years. “You laughed, before reaching forward and kissing him again.
It was so different from your years of practice kisses. They were deliberate and sweet. This was hot, passionate and desperate.
“Gods, I need you” he moaned into your mouth, as he backed you up onto a tree, his hands descending to your waist, pulling you closer to him. Your bodies stating to slowly grind against one another as your tongues battled for dominance, his eventually winning, as he took you in for one last heated kiss before his lips began deciding down your neck.
“Please.” You begged, as you reached down to pull of his jersey, you wore nothing underneath, your bare breasts on show.
He moaned at the sight of them, before taking your nipple into his mouth, licking and sucking as he did. Low moans spilling out of you as he did.  You gripped his hair as he continued his ministrations, before pulling him of your breast and reaching up to undress him. Soon you were both bare, if anyone was to walk by, they would easily you, but neither of you seemed to care as Jace moved to kiss you again his hand reaching down to caress your wet cunt, shuddering as he penetrated your hole.
As he continued to pump his fingers in and out of you, your moans swallowed by his mouth as you felt yourself tighten around his fingers your peak edging closer and closer, before he withdrew his fingers causing a moan of protest as his fingers left you.
“Keep going” you pleaded, but he simply shook his head, before going on his knees, your leg moving o his shoulder as he licked your cunt. He lapped you up like he was dying, and you were his final meal. Licking up all your juices before finally reaching your clit, his fingers hand made there way back to your cunt, as you felt his finger penetrate you once more as he sucked your clit into his mouth.
You moaned loudly as he did so, making no effort to hide your pleasure, as you gripped his hair and started to ride his face until you finally came.
he stood up slowly, before once again pulling you into heated kiss.
“You taste divine” he moaned into your mouth, before groaning as you reached for his cock. “jump” he groaned, and as you allowing him to thrust, into you in one slick movement as you wrapped your legs around his waist, causing you both to moan simultaneously, as your walls wrapped around his length tightly, he didn’t move for a moment, allowing you both to adjust before he started to pump his hips slowly into you, building up a rhyme.
“Gods you moaned,” gripping onto him tightly, as he started to pound into you, you both moaning as his pace picked up.
His face was buried in your neck, leaving kisses you where sure would leave a mark.
He continued to thrust his hips, pounding into you as your peaks grew closer and closer, his cock throbbing inside you as your cunt tightened around his length.
“I’m going to cum” he whined. “Fuck, where?” he asked, reaching down to rub your clit, prompting you closer and closer to Cumming with him.
“Inside…I’m on the pill” you said between moans and before you knew it you felt the warmness of him spreads inside you as you came yourself, gripping tightly on his arms as you did.
You took a moment, leaning against, him and him you.
“Why did we wait so long to do this again?” he asked catching his breath.
“Because you’re an idiot”.
He laughed, “and I will spend every day making it up to you I swear” he kissed you softly, as if sealing his promise in a kiss, a promise you knew he would keep “I should have known, you belong with me”.
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moonastro · 5 months
Text
groom persona chart
sun in the houses
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what is a groom persona chart? this chart exhibits qualities that your husband will have and possible placements that can be seen in their chart. it is simply a chart all about your spouse in a woman's chart. the asteroid groom can be identified using the code 5129.
so the sun is perceived as ones ego and ones characteristics and personality. in the GPC it can identify traits that your fs will have along with their personality.
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reminder: this is my interpretation from observations and first hand experiences, so don't take this to heart.
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sun in the 1st house: spouse is expressive and bold. can be seen as innocent at times and can catch eyes of other people. are fiery in a sense when they get mad or angry, in fact can get easily mad and are known to be scary when mad or angry. usually the fs wants to be recognised and seen as who they are and not who someone's opinions of them are, being authentic is very important to them. they take great care of their appearance and are aware of it so usually they can be seen as well put together and often very attractive. usually the fs also owns fancy cars and may be known for their 'cool' car whether if its the newest or a vintage, they just have a very fond appreciation for vehicles especially cars. native can meet fs where their is action going on and can feel as if everything went down in a blur.
spouse can have natal sun in aries, 1st house, fire sign, fire house, fire degree.
sun in the 2nd house: the fs values their space and comfort. fs can sing very well and can most likely sing throughout the day. can have a special bond with their possessions for example may keep books from like 10 years ago and take them to any new home they move into. can have a difficult time of letting things go if they hold a special place in their heart. on the other hand are laid back, enjoys little things in life, have interest in the arts, have a unique voice perhaps its soothing or raspy. can be difficult to persuade them to do something they really don't want to do and if you actually persuade them past their limits they can break down and make the whole situation worse that it actually is. also whenever someone makes them question as to why they are doing what they chose to do because when they do they will have a different opinion about people after making them hesitate to do something they want to do. native can meet spouse through stable environments and somewhere where money is involved which can be a holiday, town, restaurant etc.
spouse can have natal sun in taurus, 2nd house, earth sign, earth house, earth degree.
sun in the 3rd house: fs is expressive and quite blunt. says what they mean and can sometime come off as being rude. can use their words as a tactic in arguments so best believe can hurt you during an argument. however are a master when it comes to persuading people so they have this charm that people can't seem to fathom. they love to engage and respond to someone conversations and you best believe that they are someone who interrupts someone ELSES conversations to slip in their opinion or correct them. love things that stimulate the fs mind so they are actually very curious in nature and want to find out why things work the way they do. the fs most likely has a sibling or you may get introduced to your fs by their sibling or your own sibling, usually in the neighbourhood as well.
spouse can have natal sun in gemini, 3rd house, air sign, air house, air degree.
sun in the 4th house: spouse is traditional and exhibits a very bold and dominant place in the home. more than likely the spouse provides an important role within the family and home, the spouse is very reliant within the family and keeps the house stable. usually the spouse is very masculine and are very traditional with their role within the household for example, may be the breadwinner of the household. may be a softie to their children though, act differently around their children than they do with others outside their home. this can also be an indication of meeting your spouse by relations from your mother or feminine figure in your life. so your mother can introduce you and your spouse as they might have known them first. also most likely that your spouse is from your natal homeland.
spouse can have their natal sun in cancer, 4th house, water sign, water house, water degree.
sun in the 5th house: the fs smiles a lot. idk what it is but you see them having the most brightest face in the world, the sun is in its own sign so you will get the double effects of leo. he may act like a child himself sometimes, usually linking situations or occurrences to his childhood like for example like if they saw a teddy in a claw machine they can go on about how they had a similar one when they were like 3. love kids stuff such as eating from kids menu, kids toys, kids activities, kids books and so on. are really fun to be around though, definitely is the one to lift everyone's mood up and they will just keep at it and just smile like throughout the whole time you are with them because they just have the energy for it. can meet fs at a fun event where there is loud music, fun activities and chaos going on.
spouse can have natal sun in leo, 5th house, fire sign, fire house, fire degree.
sun in the 6th house: fs is in their practical mindset a lot. thinking of the worst possible outcomes in life in terms of their routine, health and so forth. may have a strong erg to perform duties for people and are actually very supportive and helpful. fs may be discipline in his routine and sometimes can come off as strict to others as they can easily force their views onto others. fs is quite strategic and are very clean and focused. may have a very important skin care routine or like double cleanse and stuff like that, probably are good at keeping their home tidy as well so are good at laundry, washing dishes, ironing, grocery shopping and so on. they are not really wary of the traditional roles in the home and just do what needs to be done. likely to meet spouse in a practical and routine based environment, most likely will be unexpected.
spouse can have natal sun in virgo, 6th house, earth sign, earth house, earth degree.
sun in the 7th house: spouse is an expert and values making and developing strong bonds with people. they hate conflict so they allow themselves to be in good terms with everyone. fs has lovely style and may smell amazing/ could be into perfumes, body butters, soaps and so forth. can judge people a lot though like oh look at them and what they're wearing and such. they don't like lying so they are very truthful to what they say and what they mean. possibly has great skin. fs is charming without trying, thats just the way they act fr, like thats just who they are. are most likely on everyone's side though and hate being on a side and prefer to be the mediator. have a soothing aura and can be liked by immediate family members rather quickly, their charm is something else I'm telling you now. can meet fs during being in a relationship already or being introduced by other people.
spouse can have natal sun in libra, 7th house, air sign, air house, air degree.
sun in the 8th house: fs is quite secretive, for example extended family members may not even know much about the fs even when married. fs is quite mysterious and if you want to know about them you would have to make the approach first. can look shy or unapproachable at first. spouse can get jealous easily and can perceive situations to be worse than they are. spouse can be attracted to occult themes and may practise tarot, astrology and so forth. fs knows their worth and knows they're a bad b*. are a powerful human being in what they do, have a lot of power whether its from someone else's money or their own, their sexuality or their spirituality. people want to know their life or wants going on int heir life, fs most likely will seem interesting on the outside. native can meet fs during a time of transformation and usually at a time where spiritual signs are all around them.
spouse can have natal sun in scorpio, 8th house, water sign, water house, water degree.
sun in the 9th house: spouse most likely has a degree of a higher education of some sort. fs is broad minded, have an adventurous spirit and are eager to learn from their mistakes and don't mind when someone corrects them if they say or do something wrong because they would rather do something correctly. are very adaptable to any situation so you'll see them do one thing and switch it up the next day or something. fs is particularly fond of other cultures and can be inspired from other countries whether its their food, language, tradition, celebrations they study all of it. fs can most likely speak more than 1 language. you may meet your fs abroad, at a different country, at university.
spouse can have natal sun in sagittarius, 9th house, fire sign, fire house, fire degree.
sun in the 10th house: fs is most likely quite serious and stern. are focused with their career and visions in life. are most likely the career oriented individual and most likely the spouse may be in a higher ranking position with their career than the individual with the placement. the fs may be well known by the public since the sun does rule fame and the public eye and placed in the 10th house of the public it makes sense. fs may posses mature characteristics that can acquire them to be in a more higher rank than others which can lead the spouse having lots of respect from other people. spouse may also have fame within their workplace, may be well known from their hard work can be also because they are better at one particular job and get praised and acknowledged for it. fs can be open to the idea of talking about death and the after world ( I'm not sure why but they have no fear of death). however this placement values their traditions and keeps their truth, are very fair with their actions. natives can meet their spouse in a workplace or during work, usually at their work.
spouse can have natal sun in capricorn, 10th house, earth sign, earth house, earth degree.
sun in the 11th house: fs can be irregular at times, can be a totally different person at home than they are out in public. fs is good with technical appliances and often are the handyman of the house when it comes to technology. can also own or cant live without their devices (something i picked up on). the fs may be know by many people as 11th house rules groups of people and its most likely on the internet, they can run vlogs, have a blog, post images, make videos and so on. their routine can consist of having their presence on the internet. fs is mature in their views. the native and fs may have started out as friends or may have been talking online before becoming official, could meet online.
spouse can have natal sun in aquarius, 11th house, air sign, air house, air degree.
sun in the 12th house: spouse is most likely from overseas. in terms of personality are emotionally attentive, intuitive, these individuals also often times listen to their spouse more. are soft spoken. they usually are on the move as perse you will hardly see them be in one place. the fs can have a different view in life and can often be left confused due to the lack of attentiveness to the world around them. the fs most likely can have family living overseas so they can have family living in different places in the world. fs can be distant with their spouses family so this placements family may not know that much about the fs.
spouse can have natal sun in pisces, 12th house, water sign, water house, water degree.
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thanks so much for reading kind souls <<33
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