#if you slapped she/her on me that would in fact suck! royally!!

[nothorses]

the thing that’s really getting me about all the ppl theorycrafting why exactly you’re getting degendered is like… even if these *extremely* charitable readings were true, they would still be misgendering you??? like it doesn’t actually matter if “it’s coming from a place of consideration and care” because they’re still using the wrong pronouns for you

Literally exactly.

And like... I know a lot of these folks do ultimately have good intentions. I'd be willing to bet a lot of them are "just being careful", in their own minds.

But. it doesn't matter, actually. If you got my pronouns right when you thought I was cis, and they're suddenly too hard for you only once you know I'm trans, there's no non-transphobic reason for that. You saw me as a man and gendered me as such because it was "easy to remember" or whatever, then learned I was a trans man, and stopped seeing me as a man.

Cis men are easy to gender correctly, but trans men are not. That's transphobia.

And even if it wasn't- I am still being misgendered. It hurts differently when it's malicious vs. misguided vs. a genuine accident, but it's still a violation of my boundaries, it still hurts, and the goal should be to Not do that.

[wriheart]

Darling and the Charming Siblings

Part three of my Ever After High rewrite let’s gooooooooooooo. I am so excited to finally get these ideas out of my head and into writing.

All of my Ever After High posts can be found here if you haven’t read them, the previous two posts explain the world building and a bit about the magic of Ever After.

So, as mentioned in my original post, the fairytale children are not, in fact, born from their parents, but instead from a magical tree that is planted upon the completion of a story. The major reason I did this is because of…insest. I know, I know, the show kind of explains it away with that one episode where the charming kids are explaining “we’re not related to that charming family or that charming family” yada yada, it never made sense or sat right to me. If all of the kids are supposed to be the descendants of fairy tale characters, Apple and Daring should be siblings. So when coming up with ideas for my rewrite, that was the most major aspect of the original that I wanted to change. So here we are.

My solution still had two problems though: a) if the charming siblings were raised by their fairytale parents, they would all be raised separately, and wouldn't have that sibling dynamic, and b) if they were raised by their fairytale parents they would be raised side-by-side with their love interest (like if Apple and Daring were raised in the same castle), we would still have insest-adjacent bs.

So, I fell back on my nobel family idea that I came up with for the villian kids: there’s a nobel family who raises all of the Prince Charmings. So Daring, Dexter, Darling, and the other charming brothers all grew up in the same home. Out of all of the noble families, the family who has raised every generation of Charmings is the most renowned.

Darling is a little different from her brothers, however. She was not born from a fairytale tree. Instead, she’s the legitimate child of Cinderella and Prince Charming.

For this fanfic (if I ever write it), one of the major themes that I will be exploring is the classism present in the world of Ever After. After all, you have the royals who find themselves born into a happy ending, and the rebels who are stuck with gruesome fates and taught from a young age that they have to go along with it. Then, you have the students without a destiny who are treated like mere extras hardly worthy of anything.

Now what does this have to do with Darling? Well, the fairytale characters are not supposed to have children, after all, that’s what the trees are for. So when Cinderella gave birth to a daughter, Emperor Grim was not happy. But Cinderella is a royal, a queen who has otherwise followed her destiny to a t. By taking her daughter and sending her to be raised by the most prestigious nobel family, it is a slap on the wrist punishment for Cinderella’s offense. If a villian survived and had a kid (or anyone who wasn’t a royal made the same mistake as Cinderella) their punishment would be much more severe. So Darling being raised by the Charmings shows how those with higher up positions are treated differently from the rest of the population.

(It still sucks for Cinderella, don’t get me wrong. To occasionally see her daughter when she visits EAH to see Ashlyn, catching a glimpse of Darling is painful.)

Darling does not know she is Cinderella’s daughter. For all she knows, she’s the daughter of the nobles who raised her. She’s Lady Darling Charming. In addition to the prestige noble families gain for raising the next generation, their children have a higher chance of being accepted into EAH when trying out. So Darling tries out and is accepted. (I’m not yet sure what destiny I’m going to have her try out for but it’s something where she’s a damsel in distress or something along those lines.)

Even though she’s seen as a lady by most, growing up with many, many brothers means she was roughhousing from a young age, and since they grew up with her, her brothers don’t care that she’s a girl and they’ll happily train with her.

When it comes to taking control of her own destiny, Darling is playing the long game. She would rather be taking sword fighting lessons instead of learning how to be a damsel in distress, but in a world where destinies are framed as life or death, she knows that for now, as much as it pains her, she must keep her head down.

That doesn’t mean she’s doing nothing though. Since the moment she arrived at EAH, Darling has been exploring. She knows the castle like the back of her hand: every secret passage is known to her and she uses that knowledge to her advantage. Blondie may be the one who loves finding gossip, but Darling is the one who truly knows everything that is going on at EAH.

So, of course, she knows that Raven is trying to break free of her destiny. Darling is willing to do anything to help, even if it means traveling into the cursed world of wonderland.

Daring, Dexter, and Darling are the three main charmings, but I might have to create a few more charming siblings to tell the story. There are so many tales with princes, and with at least four princesses in need of a prince (Apple, Briar, Ashlynn, and Holly) it makes sense to come up with a bunch more. Plus, I think it would be fun if the charmings grew up in a house with twelve other siblings.

Anyway, I’m trying to keep the characters mostly the same. Darling appears shy and soft-spoken, the perfect lady, when in reality that’s simply a way for her to disguise her rebellious intentions until the time is right. She’s curious, inquisitive, and a lover of adventure. Dexter is very self-conscious. Compared to his other brothers, he isn’t very good at the typical prince things, and yet, he has to be. He can’t fail his fairy tale. He’s constantly under pressure, and the things he thinks about himself are very harsh. Daring is also under pressure, as the prince with the most famous destiny. He’s constantly risking his life to save those around him before his destiny is even started. He sacrifices his own time to constantly be the one people turn to when there’s a foe to be vanquished, so he’s never really taken the time to simply be by himself and enjoy what he wants to do. He copes by constantly making sure his appearance is perfect, because even if he’s feeling tired on the inside, his charmingness must persist.

————

All EAH AU Posts

[pandamorphic]

Beneath the salty waves, a young dragon cried.

She swam, fighting currents and undertows she didn’t yet know, her tears indistinguishable from the home she fled. Fear and sadness and uncertainty dragged her drowning mind ahead until finally she crashed to the surface and coughed away the waves that filled her mouth. She blinked at the sky and seethed with indignation.

It wasn’t fair. The placid ocean gently released her to the beach as little stars twinkled in the clear blue expanse. Why weren’t they angry, full of righteous vengeance on her behalf? Why didn’t the waters rage and churn and spew into black clouds pounding with lightning? As she collapsed into the soft sands, she tried slowing her merciless heart.

“Oh, my dear, sweet Siren. Why do you run from me?”

She froze. She frantically searched the ripples for the telltale glow of scales. But there was nothing.

Why couldn’t she just get away from him? From them all? Even when she managed to leave, he still whispered in her ear, taunting her. She backed away from the water, sand sucking her talons as if they wanted her to stay. The light fractured around her as something blocked the moons. Clouds were gathering quickly, coming from the mainland and clawing towards her. She ran with a strangled wail—

—straight into something solid. She collapsed, the forest that edged the beach spinning around her. She looked up to find a looming figure haloed by moonlight. It had a strangely alluring presence wreathed in the scent of… was it dried coral? Or saltwater taffy? She realized she couldn’t pin down the smell but she knew it as soft and beguiling, like the rare days her parents let her play around the Wobbegong Carpets with the servants’ dragonets.

The world began to settle into its rightful place, and as it did, she realized the figure was a dragon. A huge NightWing, in fact. What was a NightWing doing around the SeaWing kingdom? she wondered.

“Oh, hello there, little one,” the dragon rumbled.

(Cut for insta)

Her eyes stretched wide as she tried hiding her fear.

“That’s it, sweet Siren. Never let them see your true feelings. Chin up and smile. You belong to the palace. To me.”

A sob escaped before she could catch it. Then, like a dam bursting, the onslaught of tears came.

“Ah, shhh,” the NightWing soothed, immediately wrapping herself around the dragonet. “What troubles you, dear?”

The dragon was warm. Not at all like the deep waters she hatched in, or the stiff royals who planned her every move. There was something tender and motherly in the way she caressed the webbing along her back. It was a feeling she never knew herself.

“My— they—“

She couldn’t stop hiccuping and could taste the familiar sharpness that would follow whenever she stuttered or flinched in front of her parents. However, no slap came, and instead the strangers pale eyes held concern rather than anger. So she swallowed and tried again.

“My… my parents. They were upset, and… they hurt me.”

The dragon tutted quietly. “When parents harm their own children… Is there no greater injustice?”

She buried her head in the stranger’s side and whimpered.

“Child, what if I told you I could help?”

She looked up slowly, confused.

“If there was anything, anything you wanted in the whole world, what would it be?”

She paused. What did she want? She was sick of being told what to do, what to say, how to properly act among which dragons. She hated that her parents treated her few friends poorly just because they were servants and commoners. No one listened to her. And she wanted him gone.

“To tell others what to do.”

“A simple enough wish. I can make that happen, little one. I just need something from you…”

———

WHEW this took me a while 😭 first real attempt at a lil comic thing!! Also more oc lore YEAH!! This is the origin of Siren’s power (and how her eyes changed as a result) and another connection with Lady Sybil 👀

[khaleesiofalicante]

It’s in the shape of a lily, obviously, and it itched into the royal blue cape draped over the man’s back.

At this point lilies are a paid actor to Max and David's love story and I'm so glad they made an appearance

He had flirted with her a little bit, but never took it too far. He liked her too much for that

So Max likes Madeleine but not David? What kind of opposite land is this?

He misses Mina dearly in moments like this. If she were here, she’d finish her champagne in one gulp and pop the strawberry into Max’s mouth with no question.

I missed Mina so much I'm so glad we get to see Max/Mina shenanigans! I know their friendship is not a canon event but that makes the times we see them together so much precious the way they get each other is *chef's kiss*, do we get more scenes with them in LBAF? Maybe with Max and Kitty?

when Max forgets himself for just a moment and laughs out loud.He’s been told not to do that.

Excuse you who wants to smother Maxs laugh, I'll smother them with a pillow

Max can’t relate. His life is already stressful enough. No dick or pussy could be worth all that paperwork and trouble.

David, who is now standing behind them, holds his hand out. Max, who feels the urge to slap it away for some reason, shoves his hand into his pocket.

Ohh David's in the house! Was he jealous? Please tell me he was jealous?

Maybe it’s because she’s not a model or an actress or professional tennis player – and yes, the fucker has dated all of them in that exact order. 

So Max knows so many details about David's love life but claims he doesn't like him and is not interested in him? OKAYYY MAXWELL

“It’s alright, I’m not jealous,” Joseph tells him, sounding like it too. “You seem rather…annoyed about it.”

Yes Joseph are king and savior, call this liar out!

It’s actually Your Royal Highness,” David corrects him haughtily. “You would know that if you managed to pay attention to anything other than yourself.”

I'm gonna be honest, I was not expecting David to be rude to Max. I have no idea why, but this was very unexpected and very entertaining

Why must you be so adamant as to antagonize me at every turn?” David sighs softly.

There he is. That line, I don't know why it struck but it sounds more like David talking to Max. The previous line felt like a mask and this is a glimpse of how David actually feels and the fact that you managed to portray both just shows how talented you are, I'm in awe

Well, I’m sorry I’m not interested in sucking your dick like everyone else,” Max rolls his eyes.

That a lie if I've ever saw one Maxwell

LILIES ARE A PAID ACTOR. THAT COMMENT MADE ME CACKLE SO HARD. YOU ARE RIGHT AND YOU SHOULD SAY IT.

I LOVEEEEE Max and Mina relationship. We'll see them again in FMF 2. We'll definitely see more of Kitty (and all the other kiddos) in LBAF. Maybe Uncle Max will be there to save the day when they inevitably get into trouble 👀

And yes every scene you find David acting like a dick or he's about to die is him being jealous af. I NEED JEALOUS DAVID FROM DAVID POV.

David being mean to Max is part him pretending to be the prince (Cause Albert lurking there) and part him literally freaking out and just spewing all kinds of shit. I really wanted to write cakegate from David POV but alas.

Also so many "oh honeeyyyyyy" moments in this fic loool.

[anonymousfiction211]

A plaything

Summary:

You attend a feast in honour of Prince Thor. You are bored and plan to leave. However, Loki has different plans.

Word count:

2.771 words

Warning:

Swearing and shameless smut

You looked around the room, trying to find some entertainment. But this party was the same as any other party, celebrating the return of one of the princes. The whole ballroom was decorated extravagant with silver cloths, red curtains and multiple chandeliers that were hanging from the ceiling. It was all dressed in the colours of Prince Thor. You always preferred the gold and dark green, which were Prince Loki’s colours. But Thor had returned home from a battle and apparently him not dying needed to be celebrated by every noble family. Including the noble family, you belonged too. You did not attend these parties very often, since your family stood very low in the hierarchy. And even if your family did get invited, your parents would often go themselves. But tonight, happened to be their anniversary, so you offered to go for them instead.  

The servants were currently clearing the last of the cutlery from the tables and pushing some tables around to make room for people to dance. You were still bored from the conversations you had to endure during dinner. It was always the same conversation, how other families were doing, if anything new happened (which was almost never) and praising the royal family for all they had done over the last time. You ordered another glass of wine, the open bar at these parties did make the whole thing slightly more bearable. Then you heard music playing and faced the dance floor to watch the opening dance. King Odin was dancing with his wife Frigga. After the dance ended more people made their way to the dance floor, while Odin and Frigga retreated. With that notion you decided to leave, when you had finished your drink. Since the king and queen left it would not be considered insulting to the royal family if you left early.

You started to down your drink. When your cup was empty you placed it back on the bar and gave the servant a genuine smile. Just when you turned around you heard him ask ‘Would you like another drink lady y/n?’. You turned back to decline the offer when you heard a low voice speaking ‘Yes she will, and I will have the same, please’. You annoyingly turned your head to see which guy had answered, when you saw Loki. Shit. You really wanted to go home but could not decline a prince. Argh.. just this one drink, which was already your fifth, stick to protocol, be polite and leave before you will do something stupid you thought. You quickly smiled at Loki ‘Thank you, my prince’. He gave you a quick smile back. ‘You are welcome, so what do you think of the celebration?’. You complemented the celebration, had the same sort of conversation you had with everybody else all night and drank your drink as fast as you could. When you finished your drink, you were about to excuse yourself and leave. That is when Loki extended his hand to you ‘Would you like to join me for a dance?’. The first thing you thought was I would rather do anything else right now, than dance with you. But you know you could not say that, so rather reluctantly you accepted his hand.

He led you to the dancefloor and he spinned and twirled you around. He did not say a word to you while you danced. He did keep his gaze on you the entire time. He moved gracefully and you started to admire some of his features. You were thankful when the dance ended, because now you finally had an opportunity to leave. ‘If you will excuse..’. But Loki cut you off and led you to a table with some snacks on it, and offered you one. Before you could finish it one of the servants had already brought the two of you a drink. At this point Loki was really getting on your nerves. You gave him one of your fakest smiles, hoping he will take the hint ‘My prince, it would be rude to deny your other guests to have the opportunity to talk to you tonight, it is already getting quite late and..’. He then cut you off again. ‘I find these events quite unbearable. Always the same dull conversations, nothing ever seems to happen. So, to get through them I like to find something to play with.’ You looked confused at him before saying ‘I am getting tired, I think I should leave early tonight’. He leaned a little closer to your ear and purred ‘You have been wanting to leave from the moment I saw you down your drink, but it can’t have my plaything leave early tonight’. He quickly took your hand and walked you over to the table where his brother was sitting with his friends. Before you could protest you heard him say ‘Thor, this is lady y/n, she is a little bored. Kindly take care of her, will you?’. And with that your evening was getting quite long. Thor made you play drinking games and told long stories about his battles. Every time you tried to leave Loki would suddenly show up with someone to talk to, dance with or with something to drink or eat. Every time he did you glared at him, which just made him smirk back at you. Bastard.

The evening would at least go on for another two hours, but you had far too much to drink. When Loki was nowhere to be seen you said goodbye to Thor and the rest of the table and left. You were relieved to be almost at the exit, but suddenly Loki appeared in front of you. To say he looked not amused, would be an understatement. ‘Where do you think you’re going?’ he growled. You took a step back, but he was already walking towards you. ‘I am going home, I wanted to leave for a very long time now. You’ve had your fun by torturing me all evening, now let me go home!’. Loki raised his hand and for a moment you thought he was going to slap you. Since you were being quite rude to royalty. Instead, he brushed your cheek with the back of his hand ‘But darling, you can’t leave until tomorrow.’ You sighed ‘And why not?’. He then looked at you with a dark look and grabbed your waist with both his hands ‘Because I am going to fuck you so hard you will not be able to walk until tomorrow.’ Hearing him say that in a lusty voice did something to you. Before you could answer you saw a green shimmer and you were not standing at the exit anymore.

He pulled you closer to him. He placed two of his fingers under your chin and made you look up at him. He closed the distant between your faces and his lips were now brushing yours. He did not break eye contact and his gaze softened a bit. You saw lust in his green eyes, and you swallowed in anticipation of what was to come. ‘May I?’ he asked. You nodded at him. He then pressed his lips against yours. Your lips move in sync with each other, like you have done this a hundred times before. He moved his hand from your chin to your neck to deepen the kiss. You felt his tongue against your lips, and you opened your mouth to let his tongue enter. Loki then started to kiss you more passionately, which made you moan. He broke the kiss and smirked at you. He put his hands on you butt and lifted you in one smooth motion. You squeaked a bit in surprise and instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist. He started to walk with you and kiss your neck. The feeling of his lips on your skin made you breath faster. Then you felt his teeth sink into your flesh, just on the brink of pleasure and pain. You tightened his legs around him, making you feel his hardened cock through his pants.

He had walked you to his bed and laid you down on your back. He shimmered your clothes away and you lay naked before him. He took one of your nipples in his mouth and circled it with his tongue until it hardened. One of his hands was caressing the inside of your thighs. You quickly become a panting mess underneath him. He slipped one finger between your folds and felt how wet you already were. You moaned at the sensation. Loki suddenly stopped and looked deeply into your eyes. He takes his finger with your wetness on it in his mouth and started to suck it. The sight of him sucking his own finger made you tremble. You felt his knee lining up at your entrance putting a slight pressure on your clit. You let out a low moan and started to move your hips up and down, to create some friction. You grabbed his jacket and pulled it off. The fact that he was still fully clothed, was becoming frustrating. You desperately needed to feel him. But before you could undress him any further he grabbed your wrists with one of his hands, and pinned them above your head. He removed his knee and you whined at the loss of pressure on your clit. You felt your pussy throb, begging for attention, but Loki just grinned at you. ‘You’re an eager little thing, aren’t you? Look at my pants’. You looked down and saw a large wet stain at the part of his knee you rubbed your clit against. You started to blush.

Loki flicked his hand and you suddenly felt the touch of cool metal against your wrists. You looked up and saw your wrists handcuffed together. Attached to the handcuffs was a chain which was bound to the headboard of the bed. You heard him chuckle ‘I prefer to have both hands free, when I play with my toys’. Normally you would protest to any man who would do something like that without asking, but with Loki it was different. The fact that he was treating you like his personal toy to play with, was a real turn on for you. Loki moved to lay besides you. He had one hand supporting his head while his other hand was stroking your breasts. You felt your pussy throb harder and started to squirm at the feeling of his touch. He was watching how your body reacted to his touch. He slowly started to move his hand lower. ‘I must say that it was a pleasant surprise to see you tonight’. His hand was now on your hip slowly making circles. You felt the bedsheets underneath your pussy become damp. Your breaths were shallow and you mind was racing. You desperately needed relief. He moved his head to your ear, and his other hand grabbed your hair. He pulled on it slightly and you could feel his tongue stroking your earlobe ‘I noticed you a few feasts ago and ever since I saw you, I have not been able to put you out of my mind’. You moaned at the feeling of his tongue on your ear and bucked your hips in the hope he will touch your pussy. ‘I do admit that I tend to break my toys, but I am going to play with you for as long as I can’. He then put a finger on your clit and started to rub slow circles. He puts just enough pressure on it to feel him, but hardly enough to give you some form of relief. His touch was driving you crazy and you started to moan his name repeatedly. He removed his other hand from your hair and started to stroke your cheek.

Then there was a knock on the door. ‘Prince Loki?’. Loki looked annoyed and turned his face towards the door ‘Come in.’. A guard walked in and he froze for a moment before he regained his composure. Loki chuckled while he was still stroking circles around your clit. His other hand was brushing to your hair, like he was petting you. You could do nothing else than moan his name. You were hardly aware that there was a guard now watching you. ‘Ehm.. the feast is a- almost at an end and Prince Thor is requesting your presence to say goodbye to the remaining guests.’. Loki sighed and looked at you. Your eyes were closed and your whole body looked flushed and was moving ever so slightly. Loki saw just how desperate you were to come. ‘I’ll be there in five minutes’ Loki said to the guard. The guard then left as quickly as he could. You groaned ‘Please Loki, please. You can not do this to me, I need you’.

Loki pushed your legs open further and positioned his face right before your pussy. He hummed in approval. ‘I know darling, but I will not be gone long. Now you have been moaning my name so prettily, let us see if I can make you scream it’. Without a warning he pushed his tongue hard down on your clit and moved it up and down. Two of his fingers slipped easily inside of you and started to pump in and out of you. The wet sounds that were coming from this action sounded sinful to your ears. But all you could care about is the feeling of your orgasm building up inside of you. ‘I do only have 3 minutes left, so I need you to be a good girl and come for me. Now!’. The vibration of his words against your clit sends you over the edge and you screamed his name. His fingers started to pump slower and his tongue was now drawing slow long circles against your clit. He worked you through your intense orgasm and looked smugly at you, trembling, and still moaning his name softly. He brought his fingers to your mouth and you eagerly started to lick them clean. ‘Now, I will be gone for about 30 minutes.’. You looked at him with widened eyes. He then gave you a darkened look ‘But I’m far from done playing with you, yet.’

With his fingers now clean he stood up and grabbed his jacket, put it on and straightened the rest of his clothes. You started to tug at your handcuffs which made Loki chuckle. He then went to one of his cabinets, opened a drawer and pulled out a ball shaped like an egg. ‘You know what it is?’ You shook your head. He walked towards you and pushed the egg-shaped ball inside of you, which made you jolt. Then he showed you a remote in his hands. ‘Like I said, I will be back in 30 minutes. But you do know how I need something to play with during these tedious events.’ He pressed on a button and the egg-shaped ball started to vibrate. You gasped and started to squirm. Loki bent down to kiss you and you started to moan into the kiss. He then whispered in your ear ‘When I come back we’ll play some more before you break. In the meantime, you are not allowed to come until I get back. I want to watch as you come undone every time I let you. If you do come before I am back, I promise you that you are in for a rough night. Remember that right now, I am still going easy on you. Don’t worry the doors will be locked and no one else will be able to enter.’ 

He then stood up straight and started to walk towards the door. You were whimpering softly, trying to distract yourself. You were not sure if you could handle this vibration for so long, without coming. Plus, you did not know if you wanted to know what a rough night with Loki meant. The way he plays with your body was already hard to sustain. You heard him open the door and you looked at him. Just before he was through the door, he turned around to face you ‘Oh, one more thing darling..’ he shot you a wicked grin and you saw him push another button on the remote. The vibration increased, you let out a loud moan and arched your back. Already feeling your orgasm build up. ‘This is not even the highest setting’. And with that he left you to moan, squirm and wait until he gets be back.

[scintillasofbeomgyu]

-ˏˋ⋆ ̥ 𝗳𝗼𝘅'𝘀 𝗵𝗶𝗿𝗮𝗲𝘁𝗵 – part one: the beginning (cyj)

pairing: choi yeonjun x fem!reader x kang taehyun

genre(s): fantasy, period!fic, nine-tailed fox!yeonjun, crown prince!taehyun, angst, fluff here and there

word count: 4,1k

the spirit who had been guarding the south side of the mountain, a nine-tailed fox, is requested by the crown prince of Joseon to make an appearance before his betrothed. though reluctant at first, he agrees on condition that their meeting is fleeting and under the guise of a mask.

an: this was inspired by the kdrama ‘tale of the nine-tailed’, hence the similar elements. events may or may not be historically accurate. ++ i’m really anxious about how this fic will be taken, but i’ve put too much effort in to let it sit in my drafts ksks. might post the part 2 if you want! let me know what you think!

(finally posting this as a gift for the immense support i’ve been receiving! thank you! ❤️ and low-key bc sumi has been thinkin about kitsune yeonjun)

Sealed by the promise of two youths many moons ago, your betrothal to the crown prince of Joseon was something which was not unbeknownst to anyone in the country. Many young ladies, noble and common alike, coveted your fortune and would make desperate pleas to the gods to have half the luck you did. And perhaps anyone else would have boasted about how fate had favoured them, but you didn’t.

“(Y/n)? Are you listening?” his highness asked, raising an eyebrow as you continued to flip through the pages of a book you had picked up from his desk. You placed the book back where you found it and turned to look from the pavilion, out across the pond and above the canopy tops to the mountains in the distance.

What had intrigued you about the palace was not the status, nor the riches, nor the people who dwelt within it. After all, you preferred to be neck-deep in books of history and literature, poetry, and volumes which questioned which was myth and which was reality. Your father, though, was as open-minded as anyone else was about the education of women at the time – not at all. So you had resorted to killing two birds with one stone; appeasing your father by agreeing to meet with the prince meant getting your hands on books you wouldn’t be able to find anywhere else.

But today, you had an entirely different motive.

“Do you believe in mythical beings, your Highness?” you asked, turning to face the prince who stared back at you, wide-eyed.

The seemingly sudden question had him taken aback.

From the very first meeting, you had puzzled Taehyun. Like you, although he knew he had to do it some day, the topic of his marriage hadn’t interested him. Or rather, it was more important to him that the person he would one day wed had the same interests as he did – the good of the people and the flourishing of the country.

He’d be lying if he said he didn’t expect you to be as crazed about love and titles as the other noblewomen of Joseon were, at first. So he was pleasantly surprised when you had arrived at Gyeongbokgung, not batting an eyelash in his direction. But when he had attempted to open discussions about politics and solving the exorbitant taxes expected from the people, he’d find your nose buried in one of the books from the pile you sifted through by his desk.

Taehyun was already struggling to figure you out, and now you asked him this.

“I’m not sure what you mean,” he cocked his head to the side, folding his hands behind his back. “have you come across something thought-provoking?”

“It’s quite straightforward; a yes or no question.” you shrugged, smirking as your eyes caught the not-so-discreet glances his personal guard and the eunuch had given one another.

Ultimately, to have relations with the throne was not all sunshine and roses. For your own protection, and to ensure you were not used as leverage against the king, your father had sent you very far from home – to Southern Jeolla. And it was upon your arrival back in Hanyang, after many years away, that you had come to hear the rumours which had surrounded the royal family.

A gumiho. A nine-tailed fox. The spirit which protected the forest. A being which could not be trusted. The one to whom the country owed it’s prosperity. The one at whose hands the country could fall into havoc.

You knew better than to believe the words of storytellers and self-proclaimed chroniclers. It was the fact that they had all said the same thing which had perturbed you. It left this unsettling feeling, which just wouldn’t fade away. So you read book after book, folklores and retellings, each and every documented account of those who had insisted they had seen the man with ‘eyes which glowed like hot embers even in the light of day’. It nearly drove you insane.

That was, until just this morning, when you had overheard the court ladies chattering away in hushed tones about how so-and-so had come to see the prince again, how much so-and-so frightened them, and how they wondered for how much longer the king would leave the future of the kingdom in the hands of such a wild-card.

You turned to look out beyond the trees again, a sudden gush of wind rattling their branches and sending their leaves sailing through the air. “Let me meet him. This... friend of yours, your Highness.”

“No.”

Taehyun nodded, taking a leaf from the shrub in front of him between his fingers, “I thought you’d say that.”

Yeonjun huffed, taking a bite out of one of the freshly picked apples the prince had brought along with him on his visit (as some sort of incentive, he supposed). The scowl he had adorned etched deeper into his face as Taehyun’s proposition crossed his mind a second time. He should have left the boy to the wandering spirits all those years ago, is what he thought. The fact that Yeonjun had allowed him to follow him around and meet with him must have made him cocky.

In the beginning, he trusted them. Yeonjun had spent thousands of years cultivating the forest and protecting those which lived beneath it’s canopy. He had taken an oath to never allow any harm to come to it, and as a sort of by-product, had taken up an arrangement with the king to hand over to him any miscreants who chanced into his territory. And for hundreds of years, this agreement was honored. King after king had revered the spirit who protected the people, throwing grand festivals in his honor.

Until humans did what they always do. They became consumed by greed and corrupted by power. They feared that the existence of a powerful being, and the esteem in which the people held it, threatened the very authority of the throne.

On a night which felt like yesterday to Yeonjun, the then king had convinced him to appear before the people, reasoning that he deserved to be celebrated and loved; not lurking in the depths of a forest where he wondered alone. His yearning for family provoked, he had left, only to return to enormous crackling fires which devoured everything in their path.

Now he was being asked to entertain the likes of one of them again? An insolent, entitled woman who was probably the daughter of some power-hungry government official nonetheless? He wouldn’t allow himself to be made a fool out of again.

“I’m aware you cannot leave the forest unguarded for long periods of time, especially at night,” Taehyun said, brushing the bits of earth from his hand onto his silk garment. “which is why I want to bring her here.”

The half-eaten apple hit the forest floor with a thud.

“What did you just say?” the same incredulity written on Yeonjun’s face, embedded into his voice.

Taehyun grinned sheepishly, “Hyung, can’t you do me this one favour?”

Quickly taking a seat beside him, the crown prince of the Joseon dynasty grabbed onto the sleeve of Yeonjun’s black robe and tugged at it. Yeonjun sucked a sharp breath of air through his teeth and slapped his hands away. The memory of a scared little boy in disheveled clothes, sobbing as snot ran down onto his lips crossed Yeonjun’s mind. He bit back the grin which fought to pull at his lips.

“I thought you weren’t interested in love? Why all the effort then?”

Taehyun dropped his hands from where they had been grappling at Yeonjun’s robe and stood up, clearing his throat before folding his hands behind his back again. Yeonjun smirked. “It’s not by choice, the woman in question is frightening. Only the gods would know the lengths she would have gone to had I refused her.”

Many minutes of back and forth bickering had passed before Taehyun managed to convince Yeonjun to appear before you. This reluctant agreement came with conditions, however. Leaving the mountain for even a moment during nightfall was out of the question, but that didn’t mean that he was okay with some suspicious woman wandering into his home. So, they had settled on the foot of the mountain closest to the north side. Yeonjun had also made sure to point out that although he had agreed to let you see him, he never agreed to introductions.

“You never struck me as the type to attend parties in the evening, your Highness,” you hollered from your palanquin which lagged behind his. When no reply came, you seethed, biting back the urge to punch a hole through the expensive wooden barrier in front of you. He had suddenly appeared at your father’s estate just as the sun had dipped beyond the horizon, not bothering to give an explanation before your father had the guards stuff you into the tiny varnished vehicle. “You haven’t yet answered me, your Majesty. The question from earlier.”

You cried out in pain when the palanquin was suddenly set down, tossing you up in the air like a shuttlecock. Hand still pressing down on your head from where it had hit the roof of the palanquin, you glared at Taehyun’s outstretched hand when the door folded open. You violently slapped the hand away and pulled back your skirt, nearly kicking his shins as you climbed out. Accidentally, of course.

Your behaviour amused Taehyun, a smirk finding its way to his lips. He whispered something to Soobin, his personal guard, who had given him a distressed look in return. He sighed as Taehyun placed a hand on his shoulder, giving a quick nod before returning to the entourage. You raised an eyebrow when Taehyun offered you a smile, gesturing his hand to the left of where the road forked into two.

The evening air was brisk; the various flora emitting a plethora of unique smells which blended together as they crawled into your nose. Leaves rustled as the forest creatures scurried across the floor; the occasional flapping of wings and hoots of the wide-eyed, mice-eating predators filling the otherwise eerie silence. The pale moon, which shone like a great halo in the sky, casted it’s light through the trees, creating beautiful natural skylights and mysterious shadows. The breeze was ever-so gentle, seemingly caressing your cheeks as you followed Taehyun down the path filled with earthy soil.

“You’re going to kill me aren’t you?” He chuckled at the question you had posed. He took a firm hold of your hand as he helped you cross the stream you had encountered, squeezing it a little tighter as your shoe glided off some algae, smiling when he heard the under-the-breath cuss.

When you had both safely crossed over into the field of long grass on the other side of the bank, he caught his breath for a moment. “My men say there came a troupe from Jeonju in Northern Jeolla a few days back,” Taehyun started, motioning for you to follow behind him as he stalked through the vegetation.

You groaned. Just how much torture was he planning to put you through? Did he find out you had ‘borrowed’ some of the books from his shelf?

After another few dreadful minutes of walking, an enormous tree came into your sights. It’s trunk looked as if it could house a small population, and it’s branches spread far across the open space; a meadow. Taehyun smiled in satisfaction and wiped the beads of sweat from his forehead, before placing his hands on his hips. Was this what he wanted to show you? You were far too tired, and your feet hurt way too much to enjoy the sentiment.

“Right, as I was saying,” The prince continued. You took a seat on the soft blades of grass and began pulling the shoes off your aching feet. “Despite journeying across the country to perform in gisaeng houses, I’m told the productions of this troupe were rather enthralling – ”

The sound of your snorting earned a glare from the prince. You shook your hand, “I find myself in constant surprise this evening, your Highness,” you laughed. “Hearing the term‘gisaeng’ from your mouth would send chills down anyone’s spine.”

The distant strumming of a zither whispered in your ears and your body froze. Slowly, the field, which had been lit only by the silvery hues offered by the moon, glowed in shades of green and yellow as fireflies hovered in the air. Then the zither stopped. Your neck snapped in the direction of scuffling feet by the tree trunk. Figures dressed in black placed paper lanterns varying in size at the base of the trunk, before scaling up to the branches.

A gasp slipped from your lips when the zither had suddenly started playing again; much louder this time. Ribbons dropped from different branches around the tree, carrying men and women who spun as they unravelled. Sporting white masks in the form of a fox, they danced around the tree, twirling and swinging back, dipping low before soaring through the air with such delicacy it gave you goosebumps.

“This performance is called the Fox’s Hiraeth,” Taehyun whispered, eyes fixated on the scene before of him, “you asked the other day did you not? About gumihos in Hanyang.”

His Highness’ attempt to throw you off was painfully obvious in that moment, and it did not go unnoticed. But just before you could make the remark that you had been carefully curating for exactly this situation, the zither had come to a stop once again. Leaves rustled above you and you lifted your head into a pair of the prettiest eyes you had ever seen.

They were a shade of light brown; little flecks of green and amber peeking from in-between when light passed through them. Bewilderment swam in those sparkling orbs behind the mask, it’s wearer holding his breath, not looking away for even a moment. The feeling in your chest drew a smile onto your lips, so big, it pushed up the corners of your eyes.

“Hello.”

He pulled back suddenly, and a strong gust of wind blew right through you, making you squeeze your eyes shut. The wind seemed to blow harder and harder – Taehyun had to press his hands onto your shoulders to prevent you from being gone with it. When it had died down and you opened your eyes again, you shot up, shoving his hands away.

The lights had gone out and the fireflies were nowhere to be seen. The lanterns and the troupe too had vanished into thin air; leaving not a trace. But that was not what was distressing you.

Hands clenching fists into your satin skirt, your eyes searched desperately, “where did he go?”

“Who?” Taehyun questioned, tightening the black cloth strings of his gat. He blinked, feigning innocence so professionally, it antagonised you. “The performance is over; we should leave.”

Pulling your lips between your teeth, the agonizing feeling of having lost something important tearing at your chest, you made a decision. You were positive that Taehyun knew exactly what was going on, but you weren’t about to waste any more time trying to force an answer out of the tight-lipped prince.

Where the meadow under the peculiar tree ended, the forest started again, and spread all across the mountain. You could have been mistaken, and that man may have just been another one of the performers. But it was the forest. It felt as if it was calling out to you; screaming. Every one of your limbs ached to dash into its depths.

Taehyun cleared his throat and turned away instantaneously when he noticed you hurriedly tearing off your blouse. You tossed the garment carrying the golden emblem to the ground, and slipped your shoes back on, ignoring Taehyun’s voice which bombarded you with questions.

He grabbed onto your hand before you left and you stopped, peering down at where your bodies were joined. “It’s dangerous.” he said; his voice as firm as his grip, yet eyes pleading with you like those of a child.

Despite your fathers’ lasting friendship, you had never met Taehyun until a few days ago. And if you did, you couldn’t recall. The confounded stares he had thrown at you upon your arrival had amused you; they were not contrary to that of the other noblemen and their sons whom your father had introduced you to. You didn’t act like the prince’s woman – they had probably expected someone who they could easily manipulate and bribe to their liking – but you were very much the opposite.

It was his behaviour in the days that followed which had taken you by surprise. He’d have books stacked up all around his desk which varied in genre, and were organised by author and publication date, whenever you visited. He seldom spoke and never forced conversation with you, but he’d call for tea and sweets then leave them at a certain place on the tabletop untouched. You’d catch his eyes glancing up at you every once in a while in your peripheral vision, and a smile would find itself to your lips.

He cared for you and you had grown to care for him as well. But you knew that if you left with him right now, your insatiable curiosity would only grow and you’d just end up returning here anyway.

Placing your hands over his, eyes asking him to forgive you, you slipped out of his grasp.

“I’ll be okay.”

Yeonjun paced up and down the cliff once more. He glanced over his shoulder at the mask resting against a boulder behind him, then slapped his hands onto his face and lamented. He couldn’t figure out what had gone wrong. Everything was happening exactly as he had planned – the dokkaebi had put on their show, relishing in the fact that they were pranking humans; the trees, the breeze and the critters had agreed to set the mood for what he had intended to be your heart being won over by the Taehyun.

He peeked through the spaces in his fingers at the wooden guise, and proceeded toward it. He knelt down and picked it up, eyes fixating on the slots where they were housed previously. He was certain he had prepared for everything, but that all changed when his eyes met with yours.

They stared back at him in surprise, but that surprise slowly transitioned into a warmth which enveloped him; the light of the lanterns which reflected from them, inviting him closer. They scared him, too. Under the mask he had given himself the appearance of one of the lumberers who frequented the forest, but your eyes seemed to stare right through him. They reached into his depths, baring him before you.

Yeonjun glared, irritated with how foolish he had been. He should have trusted his instinct and refused Taehyun no matter how much he insisted. It was absurd that after all these centuries he still let himself fall prey to the ludicrous fantasy he would ever be able to live and feel as they do – he knew that was the real reason he had gone along with this preposterous idea.

His grip on the mask tightened before he hurled it into the bushes. Your voice exclaimed an ‘Ow!’, making him topple over in surprise. The golden rays of sun spilled over the summit just as you stepped out from the flora, bathing you in it’s warmth and highlighting your features as it chased away the night. You rubbed your head profusely where the mask had hit you, pausing when you noticed Yeonjun’s figure on the floor.

Hands on your hips, smiling in triumph, you blew the stray strands of hair from your face. “Found you.”

He had never in his life met such a vivacious woman. Your hair looked like a bird’s nest; tiny twigs and leaves buried within the now tousled black locks. There were tears in your hanbok. Stains of dirt, grass and mud soiled the skirt. Alas, you still had a stupid smile plastered across your mucky face. He caught himself before he started grinning like an idiot too, shuffling amongst the earth before rising with his back turned towards you. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms over your chest. Was he looking down on your intellect?

“You’re not very clever for an ancient spirit,” you remarked, tossing the mask at his feet. His frame froze, making you scoff.

The hair cascading down his back was a pale shade pink which shimmered under the light. It contrasted the pitch black robes he adorned, which were embroidered with silver. When he turned around to give you a look of wry amusement, you noticed the bangs which framed his face were more washed out in colour compared to the rest of his head. His slanted eyes were mono-lidded, and they glistened as beautifully as the night before. His lips were plump; it’s colour reminded you of the strawberry tanghulu you had seen in the market.

He stepped closer to you, smirking at the way you were entranced by his beauty, until his face stood only inches away from yours. You cast your eyes away from him, gulping as you took a step back. His eyebrows furrowed when you cringed, staggering before you fell to the ground.

“Are you alright?” he fretted, the role of the charismatic flirt quickly abandoning him as he helped you to your feet. He wrapped his arms around your waist, lifting you into his arms, and carried you to a place where you could sit comfortably. You gripped only his garments tightly, eyes still refusing to meet with his; the scent of flowers lingering on your clothes as he set you down. “His Majesty did not accompany you?”

He knelt down beside you and pulled off your shoes. Blood had soaked into your socks from all the hiking you had done the night before – the back of your shoes had cut deep into your heels; climbing over boulders and through thick vegetation had made the soles of your feet sensitive and prone to cuts and scratches. He pulled his lip between his teeth, eyes shooting daggers into yours.

He poured some of the alcohol he had been storing over your wounds, and massaged in the compound he made of medicinal herbs he had momentarily disappeared to go and find. He tore pieces of his robe to bind them when he was finished, then folded his arms over his chest. “I’m taking you back to the palace.”

You jolted up from where you were seated; Yeonjun pushed your shoulders back down. “None of my questions have been answered, I’m not leaving until they are.”

“Don’t you have a prince to marry?” he contended, tapping a finger on his chin, “they’re not going to be impressed when you return looking like this.”

“What’s your name? Are you really a nine-tailed fox? How old are you? Do you eat human livers? If so, why? Is it true that you are only able to receive titles like the ‘Spirit of the Mountain’ when you don’t feed human on livers? Are you actually a woman? Do you really want the best for this country? Do you wish to bring it to ruin for your own pleasure? Is it true that – ”

He took a step closer to you, and lifted your chin with his finger, closing your mouth. You held your breath as his eyes flickered to your lips, and he smirked noticing the blush spread across your face. He reached behind you and pulled the jade pin from your hair, the tresses falling gently down your back. Bringing the hairpin before you, and his lips to your ear, he whispered, “I dare not rob the future king of his woman, my lady. You should return home for your own safety.”

His hand travelled down the length of your arm, trailing goosebumps and setting fire to your skin. He placed the pin into your hand and lifted it, brushing his lips across your knuckles. His eyes locked with yours and you gasped as they glowed like a setting sun.

A horse whinnied as it strode into the area, making you tear your eyes away from Yeonjun’s. Taehyun slid off it’s back, rushing to your side. He grabbed onto your shoulders brows furrowing as he examined you from top to bottom. “Are you alright, (Y/n)?”

You nodded absent-mindedly, searching for where he had gone. Taehyun led you to his horse, and lifted you onto the saddle, sighing as he found you still trying to see past the trees and their leaves. You squeezed onto your chest as you rode away, an inexplicable feeling overtaking you. You had to see him again. Not out of curiosity. No, you – you just had too.

Yeonjun held onto the trunk of the pine tree and swung his body around from the backside. Watching you ride off into the distance, eyes still set on finding him, he sighed, twirling the ring he had slipped off your finger around his.

“(Y/n), huh?” he muttered under his breath, exhilarated by the way it rolled off his tongue.

[buckyownsmylife]

was it worth the thrill? - steve rogers/reader/bucky barnes smut

The one where Steve invites Bucky to watch

Warnings: royal au!, forced voyeurism, kind of dubcon because reader is caught by surprise, steve is mean to bucky, lots and lots of sexual acts and dirty talk, taunts against bucky and his desire for the reader, brief breeding kink

A/N: this is a third part to this fic and this fic, but can be read by itself without much problem. If you do want to understand more of the background though, I recommend reading at least that first one. Also, Bucky is only watching in this one. No action for our boy.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

When Steve walked into our shared bedroom with that dark glint in his eyes, my body immediately started trembling in response. In the short span of the five days we’d been married, I’d come to learn that nothing good came out of it - at least, nothing pure. Because the truth of the matter was, I was always left with shaky legs and pools of his cum dripping from me.

I couldn’t pretend that I didn’t like it, but I couldn’t pretend that it didn’t frighten me either. This wasn’t what I had waited for when I prepared myself for fulfilling my obligations as his queen. My mother warned me it would hurt, but she never said the pain would be accompanied by a pleasure so intense it would forever taint me.

I belonged to him, now. There was no doubt in my soul of it. Even if we weren’t soulmates to begin with, he’d forced his way in, like he did between my legs on our wedding night, and made sure to become a part of me. Something I would never be able to shake away - and I didn’t really want to.

He leaned over the bed to kiss me, bringing me up to stand before him as his eyes ran over my body with clear admiration. It made me weak, *he made me weak for him. I didn’t love him before - I barely even knew him - but it was safe to say that if this wasn’t love, growing deep inside of me, warming my lower belly and etching its way around my heart, it was a disease. An addiction, he was making me dependent on his touch and on the way it made me feel.

“I have a surprise for you,” he practically sang, and since the dark edge was still present in his smirk, I couldn’t relax against his body as he ran a single finger over my collarbones, as he had done when he first touched me like this.

“W-what is it?” I managed to ask, despite the gasp that escaped my lips when his fingers went further south and pinched my nipple over the thin fabric of my nightgown. It was hard to keep myself on the edge, expectant of what he had in store, especially since his hands felt so nice running all over my body.

For a second, he didn’t speak, too occupied with littering the exposed part of my chest with its familiar mess of lovebites that never truly healed, but after a particular suck that made me gasp and hold him closer to me, he finally raised his head to smile down at me.“We have a guest.”

For a second, his words didn’t register, my heartbeat remaining safely excited, in the limits of what would happen every time my husband was near me now that I knew him and what he liked to do to me. But then he stepped away and moved towards the door, and I felt that same heartbeat plummet down to my stomach as blue eyes met mine over the threshold.

Bucky.

“Are you happy to see him, my queen?” That was a difficult question in a normal situation, and this was as far from normal as it could possibly get.

“Steve, what is he doing here?” I pulled on my husband’s arm, desperately trying to shield my body from his brother’s vision, but as large as Steve was, not much could be done. And as difficult as it was for me to accept it, it was clear that seeing me in my nightgown would be the most modest view of my body that James would be exposed to tonight.

“Well, I asked him to come watch us as I take you right in that bed, over and over again, my love,” he whispered against my ear as he inverted our positions, standing behind me and holding my arms around his neck so he could freely bury one of his hands between my breasts. “I know he keeps his gaze on you when he thinks I’m not looking. I want to give him something to see, something that he’ll always remember each time he looks your way again.” A soft kiss, much too sweet for what Steve intended to do in our chambers tonight, was pressed against my temple, and I couldn’t stop the sigh that escaped my lips as he simultaneously started to circle one of my nipples. “Maybe this way he will finally learn that you’re mine.”

He wasn’t wrong. I’d seen - even felt - Bucky’s eyes on me ever since my wedding day, weighing heavily as a guilty conscious I wasn’t too sure I should have. As close as we were before I became Steve’s, there was never talk of any commitment - he never even made any advances that let me believe he wanted me to be his. So the gossip that reached me once our engagement was made public left me feeling overwhelmed and confused.

Could it be that his self-doubt really stopped him from going after what he wanted - me?

The thought was much too difficult to bear, so I just buried under the pile of nerves that I had been before the wedding. It was much easier to believe that he never wanted me at all. He was happy for me, of course. He was my best friend and I was now officially a part of his family, forever.

I would have been able to keep blindly believing that if it weren’t for the way he behaved since the engagement. We barely spoke - in fact, he started to actively avoid me at all times. During the wedding, I couldn’t bear to meet his eyes, because they were heavy with an emotion I couldn’t identify, and that made my own heart feel small. And of course, there was my first night with Steve, where *he acknowledged the fact that his own brother had wanted me.

How could I ignore it?

It only got worse since then. The lingering stares, the heavy silences that made my heart sink to the bottom of my stomach. I missed Bucky, but his absence was easier than having him around like this.

Especially like this, the mixture of lust and hurt swirling in his irises as he didn’t dare look away from the path his brother trailed down my body. My nightgown was suddenly no more, reduced to nothing but a pile of scraps by my feet as Steve’s hands tore the fabric right in the middle, exposing me completely to the other man’s eyes.

“No need to be shy, my love,” he whispered as he sat down on the mattress behind us, bringing me with him and spreading my legs open for Bucky’s appreciation. When I tried to close them, a slap resounded around the room, rendering me boneless by surprise. Of course, I wasn’t expecting it, but I was also taken back by how much I *liked it, feeling my neglected little nub tingle from the abrupt contact it had received.  “Spread them wide, darling. Let him see what he’ll never have.”

Steve’s P.O.V.

I wanted to laugh at Bucky’s expression almost as much as I wanted to punch him. Seeing him desire what was mine only made me more desperate to fuck Y/N, give her exactly what only I could, reminder her and him that she was my wife and would never feel another man’s touch on her body.

“Get on your knees,” I ordered, already pushing her away from my lap and down on the floor. She went without any resistance at all, eyes big as she looked up at me when I stood to my full height and took off my pants. “I want your mouth on my cock,” I clarified, fingers combing through her hair to hold her tresses on my grip. “C’mon, darling, open wide. Show him what he’ll never get to experience.”

I watched her little tongue dart out to taste me tentatively at first, and it made me smile as it reminded me of the first time I’d put her in this position. She had been so confused then, but already so eager to please. After that first night of passion that we had shared on our wedding night, I’d helped her understand just how pleasurable our time together as husband and wife could be, and I witnessed her grow more and more comfortable with each moan I managed to pry out of her lips.

She seemed to be ignoring my brother’s presence now, and despite wanting to humiliate him - needing him to know and see just how thoroughly I owned each and every part of her - I found that I didn’t mind it at all when her eyes closed and her mouth stretched as far as it could to swallow my hardened member.

If she could pretend he wasn’t there, it meant she probably didn’t want him like she wanted me. And that’s what I needed to know to be able to sleep soundly next to her again, without those terrible nightmares of her and James running away together.

“You look so good on your knees for me, my queen.” A soft smile awaited her when she finally opened her eyes again to look up at me, tongue still swirling around my cock and making me grunt and thrust back on her mouth. I felt her giggle - as best as she could, and a wave of warmth washed through me as I was forced to recognize just how much I loved her.

I could never lose her.

“Just like that, my love, yes. Make sure he’ll never forget this,” I commanded as I started to guide her movements by the grip I held of her hair. “Make him feel sorry for ever even looking your way, for desiring what’s mine.”

My eyes met James’ dark ones, a smirk taking over my face as I recognized the pain in his. Yes. This is what I wanted. I needed to know that he would remember how it looked when I had my cock inside Y/N’s throat every time he looked at her from now on.

As difficult as it was for me, it wasn’t in my plans to cum so soon, so I forced her to part from my member before pulling her to her feet again and throwing her pliant body on the bed behind us.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

I was so overcome with desire that I felt inebriated. It was hard to focus on a specific course of action, even harder to understand what was going on. All I felt was the overwhelming fire inside my body, the wetness that dripped down my thighs as I looked at my husband towering over me.

“Like what you see, brother? Isn’t she beautiful? And mine. *All mine. Forever.” I trembled from head to toe as I realized just how exposed I truly was for Bucky’s gaze, as Steve knelt before me in bed and caressed the soft skin of the inside of my thighs.

“Can you smell her?” He asked as his eyes never strayed from my exposed pussy, thumbs spreading me even more open for him and his brother. “She’s so sweet, even down here.” A thumb met my nub, making me cry out as I struggled to find something to hold onto, before finally settling on the pillows above me. “You can’t imagine just how incredible she tastes like.” 

His voice was barely recognizable as he voiced his final taunt, just before he leaned down and licked a stripe across my entire pussy. “Hmm… Delicious.” Ever since our first night, when Steve knelt before me and buried his face between my legs, I knew he took particular delight in tasting the juices I produced, but there was something different about the way he laved me with his attention this night. It was more animalistic than human, the noises he let out as he ate me out, showing a hunger that seemed to threaten to devour me whole.

Just when I thought I would flood his face with my release, he parted from my lower lips with a sharp inhale, in search of air, but then a single finger penetrated me, searching my insides with knowing ease.

“Don’t you want to be fucking her like this, James?” Steve’s gaze was dark as he stared down at my helpless body, another finger penetrating my hole as the squelching sounds resonated across the room, no doubt filling his brother’s ears as well, along with my cries. “Don’t you wish it was you who got to know what her sweet peach tasted like? But you never will. Do you know why?”

A quick swipe of my husband’s tongue over my little nub and I was clenching around his digits, screaming helplessly into the room as he quickened his movements to make it harder for me to come down from this high - the high only he could provide me with.

If James answered, I wasn’t able to tell. My own heartbeat was the only thing I could hear, until Steve finally took pity on my boneless body and slowed down his movements, eyes suddenly soft as he took in my breathlessness under his power.

“Because she only drips for me, isn’t that right, darling? Only I can make her drench our shared bed.” And just as a finishing statement, he leaned over and licked a long strip up my sensitive pussy, collecting some of the excess moisture, humming appreciatively like he just couldn’t stop himself from doing so.

But then he was kissing me again, forcing his tongue inside my mouth like he forced his fingers inside of me, and I recognized my own taste, but when it was mixed with his own particular one, it was like a completely different love potion, reigniting the ambers of desire and taking away some of the sensibility I could feel in my most private part.

“You already want me inside of you, huh?” Steve knew. Of course he knew, he knew me better than anyone else in this entire world. And as he rubbed his undeniable hardness against my mound, instead of whimpering in oversensitivity, all I could do was clench his shoulders and beg for more.

“Yes, my queen, I’ll give you more. I’ll give you everything, I’ll give you the whole world if you ask me for it.” His words, paired with a possessive bite over the better half of my exposed throat, had me gasping in surprise and lust, and just when I thought he might relent and give me what I so desperately craved, his gaze fell upon the man still staring at the whole scene I was currently partaking in.

“Look at him, my love.” It was an order, I knew it, and there was no way for me to disobey it. So my eyes rose up to find darkened ones, and I was taken back by just how utterly *wrecked James looked, fingers digging into the arms of the chair he was seating on, his body leaning in the direction of the bed like he was one step away from leaping towards us. “Do you see how hard he is?”

After the question was made, it was impossible not to look, my gaze falling on the barely concealed hardness that Bucky was somehow managing to ignore. It looked painful, and my heart ached for him, but another ache was calling out for my attention, and I couldn’t very well divide it between us both. So I just whined, desperately trying to signal to my husband just what I needed from him.

“You need it bad, huh? Almost as badly as him, I bet. Tell him, darling. Tell him how badly you want my cock and I’ll give it to you.” A small part of me, the still sane part of me, didn’t want to do it. I didn’t want to add to James’ humiliation, I didn’t want to know I had actively helped contribute to his pain. But that part was no match to the untamed need I felt for the man above me, the only man I had ever had dominate me in such a way. So, without any effort whatsoever, I found myself whining, “Please, Steve, please. I need you inside of me, please.”

I couldn’t do much more than that, but ever the reliable husband, he *knew it. So, with a calming kiss to my forehead, he at last fused our bodies together, making me feel whole for the first time that night.

Bucky’s P.O.V.

There were no words that could describe the pain of seeing them unite as man and wife before me, now in this carnal, primal way. I thought their wedding night was hell. Then, there were no words left for me to describe this torture I was being forced to live through. Every moan, every sweet sound that fell from the lips of the woman that I loved was like a dagger through my heart, and I hated that Steve knew it. He knew exactly what he was doing, breaking me to pieces so I could no longer imagine what kind of man would leave this room tonight. I only knew that right now, I felt reduced to nothing.

His sounds were worse than hers. At least hers I’d once wished to hear. But each word, each grunt that left Steve’s mouth only served to cut me deeper, creating an anger I didn’t even know I was capable of holding before tonight.

Then again, I’d never wanted anyone like I wanted her.

“God, you feel amazing,” Steve commented, and for the first time that night I didn’t actually think he was doing this just to hurt me. No, for the first time tonight, it felt like he had completely forgot about me, too busy appreciating how it felt to be wrapped up in the arms and in the lower lips of his beautiful wife.

What wouldn’t I give to kiss her like that. Not even fuck her. Just kiss her. Know what she tasted like, if she truly was as sweet as she appeared to be. Maybe touch her cheek one more time, caress it like I used to do back when she didn’t belong to him.

If I had known this is where life would take us, would I have found the courage to ask her to be mine? I knew I loved her since I was fifteen, but I never considered myself worthy of being with someone so pure, so perfect. So I diverted my desires to other women, learning how to touch and make love the same way every man my age was expected to. The very same way Steve did, too.

“Fuck, I love being inside of you. So fucking tight, despite how hard I fuck you every single night.” I wanted to not look. I wanted to resist, to oppose myself from this tyrannical torture my king, *my brother was submitting me to. But if this was the only way I’d ever get to experience her like this, even if from afar, I couldn’t find it in myself to force my abstention. A huge part of me wanted to drink in every second of this experience, immortalize it in the depths of my soul, from where I would be relieving it each and every night after this one, until the day I died.

“Can you imagine if I finally breed you tonight? Right in front of him?” My stomach twisted at the realization that what Steve was referring to could very well happen. The next heir, my nephew, could very well be born from this night, and walk around these hallways as just another reminder of what could never be mine.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

My stomach dropped at the realization of the truth behind what Steve was saying. Our child, the future of our kingdom could come from this very night, and I wasn’t too sure how I felt about this. I didn’t know what it would be like, having my son in my arms and James close by, knowing that he was there for the conception.

But there was no time to worry about that now, not when my husband was still brutally pounding me, a hand around my neck as he ordered, “Moan my name. Scream my fucking name. I want him to have it imprinted in his mind for the rest of his life.”

The order, however, felt completely unnecessary - I couldn’t have kept quiet if *that’s what he had ordered me to do. Not when the drag of his member in and out of my pussy felt overwhelming in the most delicious of ways, eliciting the sounds of my wetness mixed with the encounter of our bodies, alongside the ones created by my own lips. It felt delicious in its pain, and it felt like he would never stop fucking me, if only for the satisfaction of leaving a permanent mark on his brother’s soul.

“I bet he wants to help. You know he would give anything to feel you like this, just once, right? To know what it’s like, to own you at such a primal level.” The smell of my juices and our sweat was making my head swirl, only distantly noticing my husband pick up his pace even more, now truly fucking me in a punishing tempo, like he was taking out on my body the stress that James had caused him.

“But he can’t,” he affirmed, almost like he was trying to remind himself of that. “He can’t, he can’t, he never will.” Each sentence was accompanied by a harsher thrust against my sweet spot, so it wasn’t surprising that in a white hot blinding wave I was carried to my final orgasm, just as it wasn’t to hear him groan, “I’m gonna cum. I’m cumming, I’m cumming,” while squeezing my hand to help him ground himself.

It took him a while to recover his senses, and still he never stopped slowly moving in and out of me, like he wanted to make sure every drop of his essence would be properly deposited in my waiting womb.

“You’re mine,” was the first thing he whispered after he managed to catch his breath, eyes glued to my own but the words clearly meant for someone else’s ears. “You’re only mine. This is where you belong, getting filled by my cock again and again.”

There was something to be said about not knowing what was going on through James’ mind, while being sure that the very idea of whatever innocence he considered me to have had been completely and utterly shattered. Weirdly, it felt comforting, in a sense I couldn’t quite understand just yet.

Steve finally managed to gather enough strength to leave the bed, while I remained incapable to move a single muscle. I watched as he located a robe, quickly tying it around his hips before finally addressing his brother.

“Good luck falling asleep tonight. I dare you to look at her again without thinking about her getting impaled on my cock. You should know better than to give her any kind of lustful look now.”

[kpop-dungeon]

His Puppy Princess. (Chan/Chanhyuk x Princess!You)

Warning(s): Filthy fucking. Total submission stuff and petplay. This takes place in the old times. Read at your own risk. Nor you neither Chan are a minor in this.

Chanhyuk chuckled to himself when he saw Y/n, his pretty fiance who also happened to be the Princess of his kingdom roll her beautiful eyes when she saw him enter the ball along his team which was composed of all the important men from the royal army.

It was the adorable puff in her cheeks and the way her tiny fists clenched at her sides at the sight of him that he loved so much. Because it made him want to fuck her even more brutal and rough than he already did. Rip those pretty ridiculously overpriced gowns off her and mark her fragile skin a pretty shade of violet. Dirty the soft royal pale skin that encased her soft flesh so she looked like his pretty fuck pet and breeding whore. Tug at her soft luscious locks as he slapped her delicate face red and humiliatingly slutty.

Oh. Does he sound like a cruel fiance perhaps forcing the girl to let him have his way?

It only looks that way because Y/n hates the fact that she is engaged to an army captain who will never be able to afford her. The materialistic whore is just petty that he isn't a duke or a prince like the fiance's and spouses of her siblings and cousins. Maybe if she wasn't found sucking Chanhyuk's cock like the dirty submissive little fuck dog she is in her chambers she wouldn't be betrothed to him right now.

It was a punishment to her by her panicked family. To keep mouths shut and maintain their reputation as well as hers.

But Chanhyuk wasn't complaining and neither was Y/n when her throat was stuffed all the way down to her pipes by the man's cock which was her one of her most favourite things.

Her submissiveness got the best of her and before she could stop and remind herself of the difference in their statuses like she wouldn't be his wife in the future, Y/n was on her knees looking up at the male with her lust dilated puppy eyes and whimpering lips.

Like… right now.

"Tsk…" Chanhyuk chuckled as he ripped the already sweaty Princess' pretty dress off, pushing her against the wall of the empty hallway outside the ballroom to pull the ripped fabrics off her, twirling her undergarments around his slender fingers and lifting her pretty little ass up in a wedgie before landing a powerful spank both her cheeks.

"Look at you now…" His warm lips touched her ear as she shuddered, holding herself against the wall pathetically while the male bit her ear and pulled at it softly, causing her to whine out a squeak when he lifted her off the ground using the wedgie.

Y/n felt her holes clench as more of her arousal leaked out. He treated her so good in all the ways despite not being the richest man it blew her mind. In all the ways. Chanhyuk was perfect.

He made it hurt so fucking good.

"Why do you even bother acting like you're anything above me when we both know you love being at the very bottom next to my feet, huh puppy?" Her toes curled at his words and eyes fluttered close, teeth pulling her bottom lip between them tightly.

Fuck. She loved it when he called her all those things. "Acting all annoyed," he softened the wedgie only to pull hard at it again, making her crack burn up before continuing. "Arrogant and bothered in front of everyone like you don't crawl to me like a pathetic bitch in heat everytime."

"P- Please, sir! Please~" the girl breathlessly shuddered at his words, whining out while keeping her eyes shut, loving how he was bouncing her up and down like a Master would to his puppet.

"Please what?" Chanhyuk growled harshly, saving her from falling when the panties tore and she went to fall down by placing his knee between her legs while still midair.

"Please more~" after being pampered and treated like such superior specie all her life she loved how different Chanhyuk made her feel. It was so embarrassing, degrading and humiliating. The thrill made her pussy ache from pleasure.

At first the thoughts saddened the girl as she thought something was wrong. But after Chanhyuk took her under his wing- or rather, his balls, she didn't want to be fixed anymore.

"Tsk~" the male chuckled deeply and spanked her again, pulling on her cheeks and exposing her cute now red pucker. "You really love being a good little dog for me, huh?" Y/n could only pathetically nod at that, squeaking out from pleasure when he pinned her to the wall by the back of her neck after wrapping his rough military worn fingers around it, pulling his knee back and slamming it back up in her pussy, making her cry out.

"Thank you, Captain!" Y/n called out lewdly, drooling pathetically. "Thank you so much! AHHH!" Her back arched as she slowly tried to rub herself against the muscles of the man's leg whilst he tied her hands above her glowing red ass cheeks using her torn up underwear before letting her down on her feet and turning her much smaller body around.

"Get on your knees, puppy. It's treat time." His big hand pulled the remaining piece of the costly dress from her now exposed chest, taking a good hold of her fat breasts and grazing his rough thumbs over the deep red and perked nubs, making the girl blush. "Go on now…" Patting her feet like an actual animal, Chanhyuk took a step back to undo his pants.

"And remember well, the wetter you can make it, the easier it'll be for your cute little ass." The male's eyebrows furrowed before one of them raised when she still didn't budge, making him look up at her from his military uniform pants. "Well?"

"M- Master…" Despite how crazy they were, Y/n was still very shy to voice out her needs sometimes. "I… Um…" Her head lowered as she stared down at her shaking knees now. "P- Please… m- make face feel g- goot… A- And clean…" The man almost didn't hear it because of how meek she was being, smirking when she finished.

"Oh, yes. How could I forget? My hygienic little Princess doesn't like being dirty now, does she?" Shaking her head she looked up at him, breathing heavily with eyes full of lust as she eagerly waited for what was to come only to yelp when he suddenly smacked her tit. "Answer when you're being spoken to!" The sternness in his voice made her almost cream herself.

"Y- Yes, sir! Yes, plea-" the next slap landed on her face before he grabbed a fistful of her soft hair from the mid of her head.

"Is that how dumb dogs like this whore right here talk?"

Her surprised and aroused expression instantly transformed into one of pain before she whined and squeezed her thighs together, tears streaming down her eyes. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He was so good.

"N- No! I- I mean- w- woof woof!" Y/n's heart was literally thumping from all of it. Her ears were almost numb. This was so good. "Y- Yes, w- woof, M- Master woo-f!" She felt so small compared to the tall and wide man. "W- Woof, p- puppy d- doesn't l- like being dirty w- woof woof!"

"Good bitch." She loved how raspy his voice got when he was aroused, gulping down a thick bile. He was so frightening when he was like this. It was literal heaven. Spitting out a huge wad of spit on her pretty face, the Captain slapped both her cheeks not too hard but not so soft either to 'tap' the spit in to clean her slightly dusty face before abruptly stopping and pushing her down all the way to the ground, rubbing her face against the floor and getting dirt on it as well as her tits.

This was exactly why he loved the chase. Because after that the way she let him go off made it all the more worthwhile.

"Too bad dirty breeding dogs don't get any privileges but only Master's kindness when they deserve it." Y/n holes clenched again at his words, submitting herself over to Chanhyuk's mercy. Which was always more worth it than the last time. "Now, let us see…" Pulling her face up off the ground to take a look, the male smirked in satisfaction at the sight of her pretty face all dirty, plump lips covered in saliva and swollen, eyes red and dangerously delated. "Absolutely stunning" the Captain breathed out before pressing his lips to hers without hesitation.

"Now, come here." Uncovering his erect and hard giant cock with his free hand, Chanhyuk pulled her closer to it by her hair, pumping it to smear his precum over it before tapping it against her lips, chuckling when she eagerly went to wrap her lips around the tip only to be deprived of it when he teasingly pulled it away, making her pretty face scrunch in displeasure, a soft pout gracing her lips as she whimpered.

"Okay, okay" the man chucked. "Only because you look so cute right now." He loved getting her dirty for himself and himself only. For the rest of the word she was his Princess that he was going to protect with his life. But when it was just them he loved to tear her clothes apart and get dirty with his cum and other things.

Y/n was so beautiful in his eyes that anything in the world could complment her gorgeous face. The Princess could make anything look good and luxurious. Even dirt.

So ethereal. So dirty. So filthy. All for him.

Chanhyuk plugged her cute little mouth with his balls first, loving how they filled the small space, her bratty little red cheeks puffing out from his fat testicles as she needily sucked at them like she had been deprived of any food for years, eyes hazy and barely open with her head all the way back as she stared up at him, sniffing his cock that he was resting on her face, covering it because it was bigger than it.

"Good puppy… such a good fucking puppy" slipping his boot between her legs he slowly teased her drenched vagina making the girl buck her hips.

Pulling his balls out of her mouth with a plop, Chanhyuk chuckled at the instant whine only to shush her by slapping her cheek with his cock. "Patience, my hungry little dog. Tsk. So eager for her treat." Tapping it against her lips some more he finally plugged it in her mouth, making her eyes roll to the back of her head when his tip grazed her throat, soft thighs drowning Chanhyuk's foot between them as she sat up straighter and started to grind against his leg.

The man sucked in a harsh breath when he felt his cock slip in between her silthy smooth throat, his other hand quickly finding her neck to feel the shape from the outside, hips swaying beautifully elegant as he slowly took his sweet time fucking her mouth all the way down to her throat, pushing his balls in each time to have her gag and choke before pulling out all the way to his tip before violating the narrow walls of flesh again.

"Come here" not caring about the denial her pussy received when he pulled her up by her throat and bent over the balcony that was opposite to the wall because he knew she liked pleasuring him far more than herself and loved being tortured and chastised for days, Chanhyuk groped and squeezed Y/n buttcheeks, pulling them apart to expose her blinking pucker.

"So cute and eager…" He noted deeply as she gripped the metal frame of the balcony, panting and relishing in the feeling of pure submission. "Let us get this stretching now, shall we?"

"W- Woof… woof~" Strings of drool made their way out of the corners of her mouth as her eyes rolled to the back of her head when Chanhyuk stroked her pucker with one of his rough thumbs, spitting on the hole before massaging it in because he didn't want to rip her today.

"Good dog~" cooing in a praising manner like one would to an actual dog, Chanhyuk aligned his thick beet red tip against her welcoming and nicely trained pucker, the male swayed his hips and pushed his huge cock in her tight hole inch by inch slowly whilst kissing and nibbling on her shoulder, hands now fondling her breasts while pinching her hard nipples at the same time, he felt his own sweat drip down his skin when he felt her hole suck up his cock.

"Good breeding dog… such a good whore… The perfect fuck puppet" biting down on her ear because he loved doing that due to how she cowered and whined from the feeling, the male pulled his cock out only to slam in faster this time, eventually getting faster and faster, making her moan out into the royal garden beneath the balcony, the sound almost being echoed.

"O- Oh dear Lord high up above in the heavens!" The Slave and Master heard the voice of the Queen, Y/n's mother from behind.

"Shit, pup. This is why I tell you to be quiet" it was a lie. He NEVER told her to be quiet. The man loved her being as loud as she could, still fucking into her and having no intentions of stopping. "Now we got caught… again." Chanhyuk found nothing more satisfying than knowing that he was the only one who had this stuck up little thing so good all wrapped around his pinky finger. He took pride in how good he could fuck her and give her exactly what she needed.

And he wanted everyone to know and hear it.

Glancing over his shoulder to find a red faced Queen, a displeased King and shocked Duke whom Chanhyuk didn't know the name of but knew had always wanted to persue his pup even after their engagement, the Captain chuckled, standing up straighter while still fucking up the girl's tight ass, covering her tits and pussy by his rough and protective hands from the other young man, made his way away from the little crowd, headed for Y/n's room because they had a long night ahead.

"S- Sorry, mommy!" Y/n whined, her head falling against Chanhyuk's shoulder for support as she wanted, face twisted in both pain and pleasure. "I- I know I promised woof- I MEAN!" The male laughed at the panic in her voice when she barked, trying to make sense of her words whilst the three people stared at them in horror. Her crimson coloured face was covered in sweat, precum, dirt and spit.

"I- I know I promised b- but…" The Princess' mouth formed in a big 'O' when she had a dry orgasm from how good her ass was being fucked regardless of no stimulation where it should have been.

"You can do this tomorrow morning when you're less… occupied, love." Kissing her forehead, Chanhyuk made sure to look straight in the Duke's soul while saying the words, kissing Y/n's forehead to get the whole point across as she lewdly agreed, he started walking away.

.

Don't @ me. Only @ @emeraldbabygirl because this is ALL her fault.

[candreloup]

Hello! So, here's the surprise! I'm doing a collab with@villain-enthusiast! We decided to split an ask into two parts- I'm doing part one, and they'll do part 2. The ask is from an anon- but whoever you are, here's your ask! Also- to the people reading this, make sure to go check out part 2 on @villain-enthusiast's 's blog! I'll add the link when it's up. Anyways, on to the story!

(Also this ask is addressed to@villain-enthusiast, NOT me)

hi! i really love your writing, and i was wondering if you could write a snippet where an assassin is given a lucrative sum of money to kill a prince, but when she tries to, it turns out that the prince is like, /five/, and his parents really suck (like, really, really suck), so she ends up faking the prince's death and adopting (read: kidnapping)

"I need you to kill someone."

The bag thumped onto the table, clanking with the distinct sound of coins.

Assassin raised an eyebrow. "That little?"

The man at the end of the table scoffed. "There's more."

"How much more?"

"Enough."

Assassin snorted and spun in her chair, turning and getting up.

"50,000."

Assassin started walking.

"100,000."

She kept walking, strolling lazily along the plush carpet. The man behind her huffed in exasperation. "What more do you want?" Assassin laughed.

"You know the price- you tell me."

"...500,000."

Her back still turned, Assassin paused, calculating. 500,000. It was a ridiculous sum for an assassination- even she knew that. Half a million was enough to live off of for... well, for a while. On one hand- it was almost too good to be true. On the other hand, she knew full well it was going to be risky. No one in their right minds would give half a million for an easy kill. But money was money, and she'd done hard kills for less money. After a moment of hesitation, Assassin spun on her heel.

"Now that's what I'm talking about."

Assassin crouched on the roof, staring into the glowing windows of the castle. A prince. It had been a while since Assassin had killed a royal- the heavy defenses and high risk made it a task she'd only once accepted. The knowledge had made Assassin hesitate- but that hesitation vanished when the man raised the prices to 700,000 without blinking an eye. Jesus. How important was this prince, anyways? He was in line to inherit a small kingdom- beneath most others' notice and unlikely to pose any threat. Oh well. In this business, Assassin had learned not to pry. It never went well. The last time she'd gotten involved... well, it hadn't gone the best. For her or the target. Better to keep out of it and just do the job.

The curtain moved, focusing Assassin's attention on it. She was perched on one of the castle's roofs- one that was relatively far away from the guard but close enough for her to use binoculars to see what she assumed was the prince's room. It was a strangely childlike room, with a regal look and a huge vaulted ceiling-but with decorations that seemed more fit for a toddler than an adult. The curtain was pulled aside by a woman- the queen, a tall middle aged woman with crease lines on her forehead- and pinned to the walls. The door slid open and the queen stood there, breathing in the night air. She turned suddenly, something pulling on her dress. A child's hand. Whose- As the queen turned, it hit her. The prince is a child.

Shit. In the years she'd been killing, Assassin had never touched children. She had lines, boundaries she didn't cross. Killing the bedridden, senile, children- that she didn't do. Her morality wasn't shattered enough to stoop that low. She could make money other ways.

Shit. Assassin silently cursed her stupidity. Why hadn't she asked for more details? The man had been cagey, nervous- but it wasn't unusual for new clients to be more reserved. The thing that should have tipped her off was when he'd refused to give her more information than the prince's hair color and eye color. She'd assumed- god, she should've known- that the prince was a young adult- at least past his teenage years and soon to inherit the throne. But not a child. His parents were unusually old for the prince's age, too; they must have had a child early.

It was a good thing this was a reconnaissance mission. She'd just have to go back and-

A sudden burst of movement from the window caught Assassin's attention. The woman was upset, waving her arms and moving around the room agitatedly. The prince just sat on the bed, head hung and feet dangling. What the hell? Assassin decided not to get involved. That was the best thing to do.

Don't get involved. Ignore it.

And then the queen slapped the child. Hard. Across the face.

From what Assassin could see, the child wasn't crying- only sitting, still dangling his legs over the edge of the bed like a doll. The queen was clearly screaming, pointing to something with her mouth moving. She slammed her hand on a table, still screaming about something, and grabbed the boy's legs, stopping their dangling motion. He didn't seem to be saying anything- but the woman was getting angrier and angrier by the second. She was throwing things now, hurling papers and books off of desks and smashing objects on the floor. The prince did nothing. Finally, the woman stormed off, a trail of destruction following her. The door slammed, and the little boy sat on the bed, crying.

Assassin was pissed. She didn't know what the argument was about, or why the queen thought she could slap her child. The boy looked young- what, five? Too young to be hit like that. And the fact that he hadn't started crying until his mother left the room made Assassin very doubtful of their relationship.

It's not my business. Assassin could feel the anger building up, boiling white-hot. Not my business. She remembered screams from a different time, bruises and cuts in places that couldn't be seen.

Just keep out of it. Yelling and the crashing sounds of things shattering echoing down the hallway. Sobbing, and the sound of skin thrown violently against skin. The metallic smell of blood.

No.

Assassin stood up carefully and started to climb down the roof.

It's my business now.

The next few days were a blur of preparation. What to do, how to handle the parents, where to go- and how to safely take the prince. How to remove the bounty on his head. How to get away without the retaliation of the man who'd paid her to kill this child. She'd have to plant a fake body, make a possible story- preferably one that pinned the parents. They deserved the worst.

The first step was sneaking into the castle and observing the situation more carefully. Their private lives were a cesspool of violence and rage. From father to mother, mother to son and father to son. Throwing things, hitting things, hitting people- everything was a target. Close servants, mistresses, even the unfortunate people who happened to find the king in his drunken rages. Everything was, of course, kept under wraps. It wouldn't do to have the royal family exposed for domestic violence and abuse. No, instead they always appeared as a perfect family. Even when the king was drunk, he was always sober enough to leave marks where no one else could see them. The queen wore long sleeves. So did the prince.

Assassin couldn't stand to watch their family for more than an hour. Except for the prince. She was extremely interested in him. He was seven, but looked a lot smaller than he should have. Probably because... well, Assassin didn't want to think about that. He studied constantly. Partly because of his parents and partly because of his own volition- his parents left him alone when he was studying.

It only took a day or so for Assassin to figure out the best plan to get the prince out after she'd figured out their schedules. She had to plant a fake dead body in the prince's room, bring him out through the window. Night was the best time- everyone was sleeping and the guard's visibility was much lower. But she had to act fast. The rotation was tight, with barely any breaks in their watches. She'd only been able to observe them from a fairly far away tower using her best gear, and only because the palace had such large windows. But the guards were also only human, and she'd slipped past castle defenses before.

That night was dark, a kind of pitch blackness that covered even the stars' piercing lights. The perfect night for Assassin, with even the moon only a sliver in the sky. Tonight was the night. She'd known the minute the sun went down and she could barely see past the end of her street. It was perfect.

She slipped past the guards fairly easily- only a few close calls that set her heart racing. Everything else was a breeze past that, the climbing not difficult as long as she stayed low. The prince's room was near another roof, the window and balcony protruding from it easily accessible. It was going too well.

Assassin finally made it onto the balcony, silently sliding through the open window. The queen had left it slightly open after she left the room, slamming the door as usual. The window was a tall one, a typical French Window leading onto a huge balcony. She stood in the prince's room for a moment, looking around to make sure she was alone before she walked quietly to the boy's bed. He was sleeping soundly, chest rising and falling steadily.

Assassin reached out a hand to his head.

Something grabbed her wrist suddenly. Assassin jolted in shock, twisting her wrist away instinctively.

The prince was sitting up in bed, staring at her.

"What are you doing?"

[airplanned]

Have my favorite chunk of Yiga!Zelda

It’s in the middle.  Who cares!

I’m no where near posting this fic, but that’s not going to stop me.

***

Link is not a fan of balls.  The formal Champion's outfit that he's required to wear is uncomfortable and everyone looks at him the whole time and he has to make small talk with snide people.  The king trots him out and drags him around, showing him off to important people who Link both cares nothing about and is helplessly intimidated by.  And then there are all the fine, well-mannered ladies who hint all night that they would definitely blow him in a coat closet.  He tries to stick close to Mipha or Daruk, who are both experts at shielding him from conversations.

Tonight, he's standing beside Daruk, hopefully deep enough in the Goron's shadow that no one will notice him.  Someone got Daruk onto the topic of cutting rubies for use in jewelry and weapons, and Daruk is adamant that that's a crime against nature. His hand gestures alone keep people at a distance.

Link is basking in his good luck when he sees both the king headed his way from the right and a woman in red across the dance floor on his left.  His whole back stiffens.  She's in a dark red ball gown that cinches tight at the waist with a corset that shows an eye-drawing amount of cleavage.  Her black hair is pulled back at the nape of her neck, but curls of too short hair frame her face.  Her lipstick matches the color of her dress, and she smirks at him when their eyes lock.

No one notices him step away from Daruk's rant, except maybe the king, but Link wouldn't know because he doesn't look back.

She falls into a slow, elegant curtsy when he approaches, looking up at him from under her eyelashes, which seem darker and thicker tonight.  As he bows back, he searches his memory for if she even has eyelashes normally, and it occurs to him that she either doesn't or they're abnormally light. 

Neither of them speak until they're standing on the dance floor and she's in his arms, pressed tight to his chest, her hand in his.

"How many of you are there?" he asks.  As they turn, he marks the king in the crowd and scans the area for suspicious activity.

She sighs.  "I know it's an absolute scandal, but I am without a chaperone tonight.  Whatever shall I do?"  She shifts impossibly closer.

He gives her a distrustful look.  "How did you get in here?  It's invite only."

Conspiratorially, she says, "I have found a flaw in your security measures."

"Oh yeah?"

"I teleported past the man checking invitations."

"Of course you did."

He searches the crowd again.  He only knows half the servers.  The other half--

Her hand slips from his shoulder to the back of his neck, drawing his eyes back to her.  They stare at each other, even as he sweeps her around the dance floor, their steps in perfect sync, her dress flowing around his legs almost as if she's sucking him in, devouring him.

"You're a good dancer," he says.

"Thank you.  My dad taught me."

He snorts.  "Mine too."  Then, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here for the food.  Look how horribly skinny I am in this dress.”

He's a fool, because he looks.  His hand tightens on her back.

The song ends, and they don't break apart even to applaud the musicians.  When the next song starts, they're moving again.

"You know, you're not supposed to dance two songs in a row with the same person," she says.  "People will think you're taken with me."

"I'm not letting you out of my sight."

"Hmmm.  Well, we probably shouldn't dance three songs together.  We'll have to find something else to do."

"You're trying to distract me.  Get me out of the room."

"Out of the room?  Sir Knight, what on earth would we do out of the room?"

He frowns at her.

"I suppose we could take a moonlit walk in the gardens to the bench under the cherry blossom tree, where you'd lick your way down my neck."

He's the Hylian Champion and has nerves of steel, and he's able to keep his eyes on hers instead of let them drag down her throat.  He'd start just below her ear.  He'd suck at her pulse point and nibble at her collar bone and lick his way down her chest.

Her eyes darken.  "Or maybe," she says more quietly, "we could go to the southwest sitting room and you could press me against the green wallpaper and ruck up my skirts."

He swallows hard.

She knows way too much about the layout of the castle.

When he doesn't give in, she rolls her eyes.  "Please.  There are literally a hundred people in this room with swords along with all four other Champions.  That's not why I'm here."

"Why are you here?"

"You know why."

He did.  And the southwest sitting room sounded like a really good idea.  Yes.  They should--

Her eyes widen slightly just before there's a tap on his shoulder.  He turns to see Urbosa glaring at him so hard that it's shocking he’s not struck by lightning.

"A moment?" she asks, then steps away without waiting for a response.

"See you," she whispers.

"You too," Urbosa calls over her shoulder.

Her shoulders roll back with being ordered to do something.  Her lips pursing and eyes narrowing.

Link snorts and pulls her along by the hand. 

He probably shouldn't be holding her hand.

Urbosa leads them out to one of the balconies, and turns to face them with her arms crossed over her chest.  "Who's this?" she demands.

"This is...uh...Lady...Stabitha."

He can feel her irritation like a storm cloud beside him, even as her smile blossoms and she drops into another curtsy. 

"This is her then?" Urbosa asks.

Link blinks.  "Who?"

"The girl who's making you stupid."

Indignantly, he says, "I'm not stupid!"

"You just made a spectacle of yourself at a royal ball."

"I--"  Oh. He probably did.  Shit.

Ruin lowers her eyes and tucks her hands against her stomach as if she's bashful.  "I'm sure the Hylian Champion romances all the young ladies. I cannot be solely to blame."

"What?!"  He spins on her.  “Hey, it's one thing for me to make a fool of myself, but it's another to imply I’m unfaithful, and--oh Goddess damn it all!”

She flutters her eyelashes at him.

He narrows his eyes and spits, "Screw you."

Their eye contact turns heated and one of her eyebrows bounces in challenge.  Yes, screw her.  Against the wall in the southwest sitting room.

Urbosa slaps him.

"Ow!"

"Get it together.  You are Hyrule's light.  Think with your brain and not your dick, or I will drag you to Hebra and put you to work for the Rito loggers.  And you."  Urbosa points a long finger straight in Ruin’s face.  "I know you're bad news.  I am watching you."

Ruin’s eyes narrow, and for a second Link thinks she'll pull out a sickle and slice off the finger in her face.

In a dangerous voice she says, "Don't you ever touch him again.”

They glare at each other.  The possessiveness in her posture makes him deliriously turned on, while the fact that she's picking a fight with Urbosa has him nearly in a panic.  The two do not work well together, and he's lightheaded when lightning crashes across the sky.

"Okay!" he says loudly.  "Why don't I see you out?"  He grabs Ruin's arm and tugs her away even as she twists to continue glaring at Urbosa over her shoulder.  As soon as the other Champion is out of sight, she twists and suddenly she's holding his arm and her fingers are threaded through his and his face is too hot.

They crash into the southwest sitting room and she locks the door behind them. 

[buglife]

Perhaps a meeting between Dadmaster and the White Lady?

“Do you think that they might be okay with taking students again?”

Mato thought for a moment, walking beside his child in the restored Royal Gardens. They were just enjoying the quiet sights for a while, when Ghost brought up the possibility of teaching nail arts to the guards and knights of the realm. The question was a surprising one, which for a moment worried the beetle that something may be going on that he wasn't being told about.

“They might be, why do you ask?” He leaned down to look Ghost in the eyes. “Are you worried about something?”

“I just...I can’t be everywhere at once, even as a god.” They admitted, averting their gaze as though ashamed of the fact. “I want my people to be protected, even If I can’t be there. I don’t need protecting, but they do.”

“Well, that’s a fine reason as any.” Mato answered with a reassuring tone to his voice, glad to hear that nothing nefarious was going on. It was just Ghost being Ghost, worried over everyone's safety again. “You indeed can’t be everywhere, and perhaps more people knowing the nail arts would be a boon to the kingdom.”

“I thought so too, but there’s only you, me, Uncle Oro and Sheo, and Grandpa Sly who know how to even teach it. I can’t teach everyone by myself.” They gestured to themselves and their current 'mortal' form. They were certainly not as large as their twin, Hollow, nore were they even tall enough to reach Mato's shoulder. Even being a god, they wouldn't be able to instantly teach a rather intensive and practice heavy technique like the nail arts. It would have to be done the old fashioned way with actual teaching. They were right, they couldn't do it all by themselves. They would need some help.

“Did you ask Sly about this?” Mato thoughtfully replied. “He was the one to teach us, after all. He’d be able to help you for sure.”

Ghost nodded their head. “I asked Grandpa Sly and he said, and I quote, “I trained enough kids, now I want to enjoy my goddamn retirement.”

“Then what did he say when you offered to pay him?” Mato crossed his arms and raised a brow, anticipating the answer.

“Where do I sign?” The void being snorted in amusement, shoulders shaking with the effort to not burst into outright laughter. Mato was not so reserved.

“HAHA! Of course that old miser would!” Mato bellowed a deep belly laugh and slapped Ghost so hard on the back it sent them stumbling a little. In the corner of his eye, he could see the posted guardsmen stiffen at the interaction. “To be honest, I think he also wants to be able to brag about being able to beat up knights and guardsmen all day without getting a treason charge.”

“That and I think Uncle Oro would be down with It too. He’s that kinda guy.” Ghost chirped, eyes now full of mirth. They didn’t seem to mind being bodily hauled around by their father, despite their status as a King. “He likes putting bugs who are a little too full of themselves back in their place, and I saw some of the new applicants. I think he’d do a lot of good here.”

Mato hummed in thought. Oro was very different from the rest of the brothers, and even Sly. He'd need special motivation and he wasn't always swayed by Geo. “What do you have in mind to get him out of his hovel and here in the city?”

“I think he wouldn’t mind if I offered to give him a private candy chef on call that I will employ.” They drummed their claws together, amused by their own cleverness. “I remember that he used to train me in exchange for honey I’d sneak out of the Hive. Imagine what he’d do for whatever sweets his heart desires that could be made on demand?”

“There’s my little tactician! That will get him for sure.” Mato beamed with pride, not like Ghost had to do much to get him to be proud of them to begin with. “Sheo I think might just be too busy with his husband right now for teaching beyond his art school.”

They nodded in response and smiled up at their father, who quickly reached down to give them a gentle noogie. They didn’t bother trying to escape and accepted their affection without so much of a flinch. Good. Mato released them after a chitin crushing hug and set them back on their feet.

“You know I’m proud of you, right?” He asked softly, deciding to voice the thoughts he was having. It was one thing to feel pride for someone, it was another to let them know that you thought as such.

Ghost nodded, a bit of gray coloring the shell that made up their face, nudging a few pebbles with a foot. “I know, thanks Dad.”

He was about to comment further when a little dragonfly suddenly dropped out of the air and pancaked into the cobble stones below them. Both Nailmaster and King leapt backwards from the sudden noise and movement, drawing their nails together in a smooth motion through instinct alone. Then, when nothing outright attacked them, they took a second look.

It was a messenger to be sure. The dragonfly was wearing a bag and a hat that denoted them as a member of the messenger corps. At first Mato thought that the bug was injured from the crash, but the amount of scrapes and cuts alone couldn’t have been caused by just hitting stone. They wearily reached up to hold out a hemo-stained letter, somewhat reeling from the hit they took, antenna bent and crooked.

“Messenger Stikks, reporting with an urgent message from Kingdom’s edge!” The dragonfly slurred, struggling to focus enough to hold the letter out straight. They closed one eye and narrowed the other, adjusting their grip so that the letter was actually in front of Ghost and not a few feet to the left. “Antlion larvae have dug in from the wastes and they are everywhere!”

Ghost took the letter and read it quickly. Then read it again. They finally put the paper down and sighed, all the humor they had merely seconds ago sucked out by the reality of their station.

“Something the matter, my child? Do you need help?” Mato had yet to release his grip on his great nail, moving the other hand to rest it on their shoulder in an act of comfot.

Ghost shook their head with a huff of annoyance. “This wouldn’t be a problem if the coliseum would have just left the larvae alone. The letter is from the head Fool, apparently they caught a few, which then escaped, and now is tunneling under the arena and is causing sections to collapse on itself. They are requesting aid from me as per our treaty.”

“Well, they are called Fools for a reason.” Mato could only shrug at that. “Even I wouldn’t mess with a doodlebug.”

“...A what?”

“Just a nickname for them.” Mato bent over and picked up the dragonfly. “You alright son?” He looked the bug over. They were kind of smooshed and bent up, but it seemed like they’d be okay after getting some medical attention.

“Aye aye, sir!” The dragonfly saluted and missed, causing them to punch themselves in the head with a CRACK.

Mato was then holding a completely unconscious bug. He winced and waved over a guard, handing the poor bug over to be taken to the nearest doctor. Ghost was trying to not laugh, obviously feeling bad for the poor bug, but Mato had to admit it was kind of funny.

“You sure you don’t need help, Ghost?” Mato asked again, once the guard and dragonfly were gone. He focused hard with his dad powers to determine if Ghost was going to tell the truth. God King or not, they were still his kid and he’d be damned if he let them run off and get themselves hurt.

They shook their head. “No Dad, I will be fine. I’ll just have to pull out the larvae and then set them loose out in the wastes. Nobody else has to get hurt today.”

He nodded. “As long as you’ll be okay. I trust you to know your own limits.”

“I will.” They tilted their head up in a smile. “Feel free to wander around for a bit, I’ll be back soon and we can meet up with Quirrel and Hollow later for dinner.”

“Sounds good to me, come back safe.” He gave them a short hug and a pat to the back.

They nodded and stepped back, suddenly dissolving into liquified void, seeping into the stonework and vanishing from view. It was a very blink and you miss it type action for sure. Teleporting was different from bug to bug, but Ghost sure did know how to make and exit when they needed to make one quick. Soon the last bits of excess void evaporated and not a single trace was left behind that the King was even standing there. Well, with nothing else to do but wait, he decided to take their advice and take a look around. After the palace was built over top of the old one, the gardens were also revitalized. A lot of work had been put into the place and once things were green and blooming again, it was opened up for the public. It was fairly peaceful and offered a lot of nice spots to simply sit and reflect should one want to.

He decided that perhaps the best thing to do was to find such a spot and meditate for a while. Ghost had given him quite a bit of information to consider. The idea of teaching the nail arts to the next generation of warriors was a interesting one and he wasn’t quite sure how to implement such an ambitious plan. Perhaps a school would have to be made. He’d have to talk to his own father and brothers as well about it. Perhaps a solution would come to him once he emptied his mind for a while.

He walked around gardens, looking for a quiet spot for Ghost to find him later, when he was stopped by a sight that made him question his vision. He blinked a few times to clear his eyes, but he still saw the same figure that used to be everywhere before the infection began.

The White Lady sat on a stone bench, idlily watering a patch of flowers using a simple watering can. Mato could see no finery on her or any mark of a station beyond a civilian on her person. She was dressed simply in white robes, the roots on her head curled up and branching outwards in a mess of tiny white leaves and petals. She didn’t seem to notice him, giving the flowers on the ground a drink as she hummed to herself, her eyes closed in either thought or contentment.

To be honest, it Mato didn’t quite know what to think at first. Most of the citizens of Hallownest gave little thought to their previous Queen. Before Hollow was even locked into the temple, she had fled her people and her home to wall herself within her personal gardens, taking one of the great knights with her. When it was clear that Hollow wasn’t going to be able to hold back the wrath of the Radiance, the King also fled, abandoning the kingdom to their fate. Most remembered this, and cared little about the fates of the rulers who vanished during the kingdom’s darkest hour, leaving the common bug to fend for themselves with no leadership and no help.

They weren’t remembered fondly, regulated to history books and a cautionary tales of pride and cowardice.

It was only years of training that kept him from fully succumbing to rage. How dare she! How dare she sit here all pretty in the palace gardens, like she never allowed the king to murder their own children and abandoned every bug that looked up to her when things didn’t work out perfectly? The same lady who annexed an entire section of another people’s land for her own personal gardens? The same Lady that sat a scant few meters away from the home of those she most hurt?

And why was she here? From what he understood, Ghost did not like her one bit. Even gentle and sweet Hollow only recalled moments with her to be painful and refused to further elaborate on the matter. He got most of the story from Ghost, and what he heard made him livid. He often wondered what he would say to the former king and queen should he meet them again, and now he was being presented with such an opportunity.

He took a few deep breaths. As far as he knew, she was no longer his Queen nor any sort of authority over him anymore. He would get a few answers, no, he demanded them.

He approached her, no longer masking the noise of his movements as his boots crunched a few discarded dead leaves. She paused in her humming and turned her face to fix her startling blue eyes on him. Mato stared back, unafraid and resolute. She balked slightly from the force of his stare, but composed herself by sitting up and gently smiling down on him.

“Hello.” She said, her voice soft and whispery, like a breeze through the leaves of a willow tree. “How can I help you?”

“What are you doing here.” Mato demanded. The question was short and very much to the point.

“Me? Well, my child-”

“They are not your child.” Mato hissed, cutting off her words with an enraged snarl. “You don’t get to call them that, not after what you and the pale bastard  did to them!”

She seemed taken aback for a moment, narrowing her eyes as her roots shuddered, before she seemed to slump into herself. She turned her head away for a moment, taking in an audible breath as she turned it back to glance back at the Nailmaster. “You act as if I don’t regret what we were forced to do.”

“You always had a choice.” Mato countered. “You could have done anything other than let thousands of your children lay dead at the bottom of the abyss. Have you even gone down there to see them? Offer some sort of rites like any parent would do for their deceased children?”

“It does not matter, Ghost has-”

“King  Ghost.” He once again corrected her. Only family got to refer to them by their name alone and fiercely guarded such a privilege. Especially since they had to pick their own name. The Lady and the King didn't even feel it fitting to give them something as simple as a name.

“Yes." She sighed, "King Ghost has informed me that their siblings besides Hollow now reside within the void... at rest, which is now a part of them. Empty rites and platitudes will not bring them back, nor erase what I have...what we have done.”

Mato stared at her for a moment, scanning her face and body for any hint of lies or manipulation. To his surprise, he found none, just an old woman who was full of regrets.

“Then why are you here?” He finally spoke and crossed his arms in front of him. “My child obviously knows that you are here, why let you in? You told them to kill their own sibling and take their place in a plan that already failed, just to hold the mad goddess at bay for a scant few more years while you could still hide in the Gardens and play pretend. Why?” He could barely keep the fury from his voice as he spoke. He could see her flinch with each accusation, her eyes blurring with what might be tears, he couldn’t be sure. All he knew was that was he was saying was impacting her in some way, and he was happy for that at least.

She was silent for a moment, the roots and branches that made up her head curling in on themselves and shuddering slightly. A few leaves and petals dropped to the stones below and rapidly lost their otherworldly shimmer. “I don’t know, to be honest.”

Mato narrowed his eyes behind the hard shell of his mask. “You gottah be shitting me.”

“I speak the truth.” She shifted in her seat so she could face him fully. “All I know, is that one day, King Ghost arrived where I have made my exile. They commanded me to unroot myself. I could sense the brand on them, the pieces of my husband and I that made them, and the spark of a higher power, so I obeyed. It took time to unroot myself, but once I did they commanded me to unbind myself and to come with them.” She paused a moment to look up, as thought remembering a feeling or a snippet of a memory. “I had diminished myself, made myself weak. I could no longer see, so they commanded that I reside here to recover. I did so, and when I saw them for the first time I was astonished and humbled. I had believed that perhaps that they would take revenge and have me executed or banish me to the wastes, but... they did not. Instead, they told me that I will do what I was meant to do and I was not permitted to run away again.”

Mato was silent, listening as the White Lady spoke, watching her face as it went through a range of emotions. Regret, bitterness, elation, joy, shame...all flickered through her pale face and shimmering eyes.

“My sentence was to bring life back to the kingdom, as it was my duty long before the Pale Wyrm even chose Hallownest to rebirth himself in. I would, as they put it, ‘have to clean up my mess’ and I have been doing as such.”

“I did notice everything get greener.” Mato muttered. He had noticed the yields from the farms were also quite abundant and rich. The kingdom should have gone through a period of famine as they rebuilt, but there was food. Nothing refined at the beginning, but nobody went hungry. “Was that you?”

She nodded, serene as she put her watering can to the side. She lifted one of her roots from the ground, leaving a neat little hole that she dropped a single seed into. “Yes, I am a goddess of life and fertility, it brings me joy to know that life has begun anew.”

“Are you a prisoner here, then?” He looked, but saw no chains, no shackles, and not even the delicate weave of spells or magic. Nothing that could force her to stay here.

“Goodness no.” She shook her head, eyes curled up in slight amusement. “There is not a place I could run that my ch….my king could not find me. Nore do I expect that they are such a god to begin with. I am here as they said, to clean up my own mess. Nothing more, and nothing less. I have been given my own home here.” She gestured to a cottage nestled in among the trees, just barely out of sight, most likely for her own privacy. “I have no need to leave, nore am I under duress. I simply am.”

Mato’s rage was beginning to cool somewhat. From what he understood, his child had decided to grow beyond the pettiness and childish ways of the former higher powers, and instead, enact rather wise and mature decisions. With a start, he realized that he may have had a hand in that decision. He thought back to a moment, a scant couple years ago when rebuilding hasn’t even started yet.

“Dad?” Ghost asked. They had just had their first molt, resting their now slightly bigger body against their twin sibling. Hollow was in bed, their head and body haven just gotten new fresh bandages. It had been only a bare few months after the death of the Radiance, and Ghost had had some time to sit and think about their situation.

Of course both of the void siblings were a mess after the final battle, and Mato had commandeered an empty home in Dirtmouth to care for them both. Herrah had awoken from her slumber and was there to care for Hornet, but she had Deepnest to restore. Hornet jumped back and forth between both homes, bringing honey from the Hive and silken bandages in the effort to bring Hollow back to some semblance of wellness.

“Yes, my child?” Mato had adopted Hollow instantly, the poor injured bug still was very much a child despite being the tallest bug they’ve ever seen. He coaxed Hollow into opening their mouth and letting him stick another spoonful of light broth inside. He patted them gently when they did, helping them get ready for the next spoonful.

“How did you learn to forgive Uncle Oro?” Ghost was staring at their new set of arms, clenching and unclenching their hands. They tripped over their new telepathy a few times, but they were able to be understood. Mato stayed steady enough to get another spoon of sustenance in his largest child, but was quite surprised by the question.

“That’s quite a question, Ghost. What suddenly brought this on?”

Ghost was silent for a few moments and Mato gave them time to get their thoughts together. Hollow tried a chirp of encouragement, but Mato tapped them on the snoot. No chirping, only soup for the moment. They harrumphed and took another spoonful, which earned them a nice rub to sooth the healing cracks in their face.

“Uncle Oro hurt you and Uncle Sheo, really bad.” Ghost started. “But now, you are all okay again. How did that happen? What do you do when someone hurts you, but you don’t want to be hurt by them anymore?”

Ah, there it was. No doubt this had something to do with the sibling’s awful, awful parents. He didn’t want to accidentally poison his child with his own bad memories, nor the awfulness of why the situation actually happened in the first place. Instead, he decided to be completely honest.

“Well, Sheo and I were hurt, yes. We took space for ourselves to sort out our feelings. By then, the infection was in full swing and we didn’t know how the other was doing. When you let us know that all three of us were still alive, that’s when we knew there was a chance.”

Ghost looked up, tilting their head backwards so they didn’t have to get up from where they where lounging. “A chance?”

“Yes, the only time a chance to fix something between someone is gone, is when they are gone themselves. When we realized that we were all still alive, I knew that a chance still existed to get my brothers back.”

Ghost nodded, listening closely. Hollow subtly curved their head to listen as well, and Mato suddenly found himself with the full undivided attention of two children. He would have to choose his words carefully

“So, a few weeks ago, we both went to see Oro, and we talked. We talked about how we hurt each other. We talked about how we were sorry. We talked about how we can improve ourselves and move on. In the end, we decided to give each other a chance again, at least for one last time. Obviously, Oro wanted to be back with us again, because we worked it all out. We missed each other a lot, so I found that we could forgive each other and start again.”

“Uncle Oro is still really grumpy though…” Ghost added as an after thought.

“Oro was always a grumpy little bastard, that hasn’t changed.” Mato laughed. “ What changed however, is that we realized what we all did to cause the problem in the first place, and apologized. Now it’s just letting time go by to heal the wounds and give everyone a fresh chance again.”

“That’s it? Just time and a chance?” Ghost tilted their head to the side, eye’s narrow as they did their best to grasp the concept. Hollow moved their head just enough to give their smaller sibling a nuzzle. Ghost sighed and shifted so that they could hug Hollow back with nuzzle of their own, melting into the cuddle pile.

“If you think they are worthy of a second chance, than yeah. If not, than don’t give them a third.” Mato stopped assaulting Hollow with soup for the moment, letting them have a bit of a break for a cuddle. He took the time to look over the bandaged socket where their left arm used to be. He’ll have to ask Sheo and Smith if they could do something about that. "It's up to you to even consider giving that chance. If you don't want to, nobody is going to blame you for that. It's your decision alone and nobody can force you to do otherwise." He waggled the spoon at Ghost to further get his point across, as well as a subtle unspoken 'I will beat anyone who tells you otherwise with this spoon'.

“Thanks, Father.” Ghost looked up, eyes shining with resolve. “I think I know what to do now.

“They are giving you a second chance.” Mato spoke aloud once he finished with his memory, startling the White Lady with the suddenness of his voice.

“I’m afraid I don’t..” She looked confused by it all, looking Mato up and down as though he suddenly went crazy.

“They are giving you a second chance to be in their life. Both theirs and Hollows.” Mato’s voice took on a hard edge again as he pointed to her. “They are deciding if you are going to hurt them again, as they are not going to give you a third chance.”

“You mean...they’d want me to be…” her eyes widened and glistened with moisture, speaking some delicate hope that still resided within her. Mato knew he could never understand her particular pain, nore did he feel like she even deserved to have that hope after all this time, but that was not his decision to make.

“I don’t think they want you as their mother.” Mato took no joy over crushing that bit of hope, but she needed to know the truth. “After all this time, I don’t think they can let you be that intimate with them, at least for a very long time. Of course I’m speaking of Ghost, not Hollow. But for Ghost, I would shoot for just being a friend, someone they can trust again. Maybe it can evolve into something else besides that, but who knows what the future can hold."

"It is clear that you do not like me, or approve of my presence here at all. So why tell me this?" She bent her head down to regard Mato as though searching for the punchline to a cruel joke.

"Because it's the truth, and yes, I don't like you one bit, but the ones Ghost choose to be in their life is not up to me. If they want to give you a chance along with Hollow, than so be it. It's their life, not mine. BUT..." He stopped slouching and pulled himself up to his full height. "If you hurt them again, either of them, I will make you regret that. Do you understand?"

She nodded. "I do."

"Good, then we have nothing more to discuss." He turned on his heel and left, not even giving her a wayward glance as he left her behind. He could have dragged more answers from her for sure. Even if they only needed one vessel for the plan, they could have taking in the 'rejected' ones and cared for them. Was she even there when the selection was taken place? Did she also leave Ghost to fell back into the abyss, never to see light again for years, maybe decades? Too many questions, and he doubted he'd get satisfying answers to any of them. Perhaps for now, it was best to let it go. Ghost or Hollow will bring it up on their own time and he would do what he always did, be there when they needed it. He loved them, even if it was later in their lives than he wanted it to be.

He wished he could have been there from the beginning. How different would they have turned out if he could have scooped them up at their hatching and carried them away to raise and love? All of them, not just those two, every single cracked shell in the abyss belonged to an individual child. He didn't know how, but he figured he'd have enough love for them all if needed. Perhaps he was feeling jealous that she could have had that, but chose to throw it and her own children away instead.

Too many feeling and not enough answers. He needed to get some meditation done and sort himself out before Ghost came to find him again. It wouldn't do for them to see him angry and conflicted like he was. He marched along until he found a nice, quiet section of the gardens and sat. He folded his legs under himself and let his cloak fall around him, emptying his mind and falling deep into the calming waves of meditation. He let the feelings come and wash over him, letting himself experience them without becoming consumed. The memories and the experiences were neatly sorted as he pulled himself together where he'd be able to experience them again should he wish to. Soon, there was nothing but calm. Everything was in it's right place and Mato let himself drift away into the nothingness and soothe his heart.

He started back into reality when he felt a tug on his cloak. He instinctively looked down where he expected a tiny void creature to be tugging on his cloak, looking for hugs. When he didn't see them down there, he looked up to see his grown child tugging on his cloak, eyes curled up in amusement.

"Hey Dad," they said with a giggle. "Sorry to wake you, but I'm back."

"That you are." Mato replied with a 'smile' of his own, standing up to stretch. He must have been sitting for a while, as his legs began to buzz with pins and needles as he worked the numbness out. "How did it go?"

"Well. The larvae were moved with no more injuries. The Fools will have to fix their own coliseum, since it was their fault it got damaged in the first place." Ghost giggled again, something amusing must have happened, and no doubt they were saving it for dinner later.

"Let me guess, there's more too that?"

They nodded, vibrating slightly. "Yes, but I want Quirrel and Hollow to hear it too. They'll get a kick out of it and you'd spoil it if I told you now."

"Then let's not keep them waiting." Mato mock bowed. "After you, your majesty."

"Dadddd noooo." They waved their hands around, trying to get him to stand again. "That's embarrassing! Monomon doesn't do that!"

"She isn't allowed to bow because it gives her cover to get smoke bombs out of her veil without getting caught." He countered with a laugh.

Ghost just sighed dramatically and grabbed his hand, dragging him off towards the palace where dinner and company awaited. Mato found that he couldn't stop laughing, letting his child drag him around just for the fact that he could.

It was then he realized that he pitied the White Lady. All these little moments she willfully gave up, never to experience it for the foreseeable future. It struck him as very sad that she would give up such a thing, but he decided there was no use in trying to understand why.

After all, he would be too busy coming up with ways to spoil his own children, and that thought would consume most of his days, as It should be.

---

Heyo another request down!!! Next up will be SIBLING DAY!!!

Also antlion larvae are terrifying, but the fact that they have 'doodlebugs' as their nickname is strangely endearing.

I feel neutral about the white lady. Yes she willfully participated in the plan and no in no way innocent, but boy did she make herself suffer for it. Hence here, Ghost gave her a chance to just be who she was before, just god doing god things, without having to balance a kingdom. She just has to help clean up the mess she left her kids to deal with and can't run away when the going gets tough again. To be honest, I feel like she's a lot happier now to just have her nice little private cabin in the gardens with no royal responsibilities and the hope that one day she may have more than a professional relationship with Ghost and Hollow.

Hollow knows she is there, but is working through their own feelings before they decide on what to do about it. They love her so much but remembers the pain in being constantly rejected and treated as though they were already dead by her. It's complicated, but there are therapists in the kingdom now and that will help over time.

[stressy-enby]

Hey there! What do you say ab making some headcanons featuring Hawks discussing earnest topics with his s/o? For instance, s/o perceives how hard Hawks is working to make the commission content and fulfill their everyday request. There's certainly lots of pressure put on his back but he shrugs it off and says that he's doing just fine. However, he initially let her in on particularly nasty stuff they needed him to do beforehand and she's asking him whether it makes sense anymore to discriminate villains when heroes have their own faults just as much. S/o is conflicted but she's not blaming it on him. So how is he going to respond? What would be his reaction? Will he act all defensive of heroes or will he agree with the statement?

I did this as a one-shot, because this is an interesting topic and I wanted to spend some more time on it than I would if I did this as headcanons. Enjoy!!

Heroes?

Warnings: off-hand mention of rape and sexual assault. It’s not important to the overall story, but it’s still in there and I don’t want anyone else to be unpleasantly surprised.

. . .

He left you on read.

He never left you on read.

Keigo always responded to texts fairly quickly. Even if he was working, it never took him longer than 5 minutes to reply.

So when you checked your phone at 8:38, finding your 8:13 text still unanswered, naturally, you began getting nervous.

You transferred your phone between your hands, weighing the options of sending him a second text. He had clearly seen the message, so maybe he was unable to answer it. But then again, this was Keigo. When was the last time he left you on read? Never. This was the first instance.

You sighed loudly, and your fingers flew across the screen and hit send before you could over think this any more than you had already.

Hey, when do you get off work? Wanna have a movie night? 

Read at 8:14

- Lmk when you get a minute, k? Hope everything’s ok

You watched the delivered pop up as you put your phone to sleep.

Unable to sit still, or even look away from your phone for even a moment, you woke it back up almost immediately. You gripped the device as if it were your lifeline when the read message appeared.

Finally, finally, the texting ellipses rolled across the left side of the screen.

Omw to your place. See u soon

I don’t like how blunt that is, You thought, brow furrowing. You texted a quick thumbs up, and went about putting the kettle on.

Something curling in your stomach told you that this was going to be a long night.

. . . . .

“Why were you so late tonight?” You asked your boyfriend, handing him his steaming mug.

Keigo, who was still in his hero costume, sans goggles and jacket, excepted the tea with a gracious, yet tired smile. “Meeting with the Commission.”

“Ah,” You nodded in immediate understanding. “That certainly explains your uncharacteristic bluntness.”

“Heh, yeah,” He ran a hand through his hair, and took a sip of his tea, avoiding your gaze. “Long meeting.”

“Uh-huh.” You raised an eyebrow. “What was it about?”

“Ah, you know.”

“In point of fact I don’t know, because you never tell me.” 

Keigo grimaced, still refusing to meet your eyes. “I’m not sure I’m allowed to tell you.”

“Yeah? Well fuck that.” You planted your drink on the coffee table and turned his face towards you. “You’re never this out of it. I know those meeting aren’t fun, but you don’t stay depressed for this long afterwards. What was different?”

Keigo was quiet for a minute. He placed his mug next to yours, before leaning into you. He hugged you and buried his face in the crook of your neck.

“Fuck them,” He muttered “Fuck those fucking fuckers.”

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and pet his hair. You decided to stay quiet as he began to quiver.

I’ve never seen him so distraught.

“We talked about my infiltration mission.” He finally admitted. “With the League.” 

“Oh.”

What else could you say. You waited for elaboration.

“The League wants me to do something to prove my loyalty, and I wanted to talk it over with the Commission. It’s....extreme.”

“Uh oh. What is it?”

Keigo was silent. He hugged you tighter. “They want me to kill a hero.”

Your hand froze in his hair, and your blood ran ran cold. “What? What did they say? The Commission.”

He whimpered into your skin.

“Keigo,” You whispered, placing a comforting hand on the back of his neck. “They didn’t give the OK for that, did they?”

“(Y/N), I don’t know what to do. I can’t do this.”

You rubbed his back, astonished. “Of course you don’t! Who would? That’s ridiculous.”

“I’m sorry,”

“Hey, don’t apologize, Birdy. It’s not your fault. The whole situation is just royally fucked.”

He hummed pathetically. You felt your skin dampen as Keigo wept into it. You rocked yourself and him as he let it all out.

“God, the Commission sucks ass.” You muttered. “They don’t care about you or any of the other heroes. They just want to keep up their appearances and keep making money. They’re no better than the villains themselves.”

He remained quiet, but seemed to be listening. He buried a hand into your hair and gently pulled you even closer.

“Does it really make sense to keep demonizing villains the way we do when we’re just as bad?” You mused.

“Wait, what?” Keigo detached himself from your neck, eyes red. “What do you mean, just as bad?”

You leaned back into the couch, taking his hands in yours. “Well, it’s just that I’ve seen heroes get away with some stuff that shouldn’t fly. Sometimes it feels like they’re just as villainous.”

“I guess,” Keigo frowned, whipping his eyes.

“You seem unconvinced.” Your lips twitched. “Remember last month, when there was a scandal with the hero Twister? About how he treated his female sidekicks and employees?”

“I think so.” Keigo bit his lip in contemplation. “There were like, 8 different rape and sexual assault allegations against him, but he got off easy.”

“Yeah, the Commission paid the court a shit-ton of money to drop the case. He got off with almost literally a slap on the wrist.” You growled, gripping his hands tighter. “It’s absolute bullshit. The whole hero structure and society is bullshit, at least the way it is now.”

“Huh. I think I see where you’re coming from.” He whipped his eyes again. “God, this sucks.”

“Indeed.” You hugged him again, burying your face in his neck this time. “I just wish there was an easy way out.”

“We could run away,” The winged man offered, returning your hug. “Pack our bags and book it, never come back.”

“I can’t tell if you’re kidding or not.” You chuckled.

“Mean neither.” He admitted, laughing lightly. “Is there anywhere you’ve wanted to go? Out of the country, I mean.”

“Y’know, I’ve always liked to visit Sweden. It seems cool.” You remarked after some thought. “They’re pretty tight on hero laws, can’t get away with any bullshit over there.”

“I’m sold. Let’s go!”

“Keigo, we can’t just-”

“We can and we will, babe! Pack your bags!” He dissolved into giggles, resting his forehead on your shoulder. “Sorry,”

“Silly bird.” You laughed, kissing his forehead. “I’d go anywhere with you.”

[loadingrat]

⿻ 𝐬𝐰𝐚𝐧 𝐥𝐚𝐤𝐞 → 𝐤. 𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐣𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐠

🏻 ⃟⿻ 𝐠 𝐞 𝐧 𝐫 𝐞  →    angst; retelling; fantasy

🏼 ⃟⿻ 𝐬 𝐮 𝐦 𝐦 𝐚 𝐫 𝐲  →   with the burden of a crown on his head, Hongjoong finds himself forced to get a bride before he turns twenty two, yet he finds himself struck by love with a cursed young woman named Odette, who's body turns to swan at dawn. it all should be as simple as snapping your fingers to break the curse, when all it takes is three little words, yet, when spoken wrongly, they may do more harm then good.

🏽 ⃟⿻ 𝐰 𝐚 𝐫 𝐧 𝐢 𝐧 𝐠 𝐬   →   this awfully written i apologise; based off the ballet, so suicide; dark magic; violence; mention of a curse; the usual swearing; hunting; instant love; drowning; overprotective parents and another shitty ass parent if you ask me; forced marriage; the reader is referred to as "Odette"

🏾 ⃟⿻ 𝐰 𝐨 𝐫 𝐝 𝐬   → + 5.5k

🏿 ⃟⿻ 𝐦 𝐚 𝐬 𝐭 𝐞 𝐫 𝐥 𝐢 𝐬 𝐭 𝐬 →  main masterlist   ⦚   retellings

   Hongjoong always enjoyed watching as the wind bent under the will of his arrows, obeying them and letting the weapons find their way right in the middle of the red target. It brought pride in his chest, and helped him feel more like a boy stuck with a crown on his head than a prince stuck with the future of a kingdom on his back. He loved to see how flour would purr out of the sacks full of the snow like powder that stood in the royal yard, and so did his friends, as they always cheered him on, despite getting their expensive clothes all dirtied up.

   Saying that Kim Hongjoong's life was anything but exiting would've been the understandment of the year, that only if the words wouldn't have reached his mother's ears. However the queen was always aware of anything and everything going on in her kingdom, as if the old woman with her hair like silver had eyes in every corner of the territory. The prince always disliked that in her as he himself was never allowed to even leave the palace without one of his parents following. Of course, he was grateful that the queen and the king were the most understanding royalties he's ever met, and he got to speak to a lot on a daily, however, when it came to actually understanding him, sadly they were left lacking. The prince hated the way he pictured himself in this situation, but he couldn't do much and just accept that he was like a swan trapped in a dove's cage, and it made him feel completely hopeless.

   "You'll try getting out this evening, won't you?" The words slipped prince Wooyoung's lips as if he asked the same thing over and over. The smile on his lips had always faded during previous days, as the answer would've been a sad shake of the head, but the said day it only bloomed as Hongjoong turned his head around, looking at his bow as if it was the most interesting thing he's seen in his lifetime. "Holy shit, he didn't deny it!" Wooyoung spoke, a loud sound like a hyena's laughter ringing from his lungs as he repeatedly slapped his best friend's back. The other prince tried moving away, his abused body protesting with each hit Wooyoung delivered, but deciding that he'd fail anyways, Yeosang resorted to catching the younger's hand and delivering a harsh hit back. "But he did not agree to it either."

   It took only two more hours for the man to find himself sitting at a lavish dinner table, all kind of foods placed before them, yet the anxiety growing inside his heart made it easy for his appetite to stray away. "Hongjoong?" His father's voice was harsh as he demanded the prince to give him his attention. His mother's words followed right after, tone dripping with honey and Hongjoong knew something was in her mind. "The date for your birthday ball is approaching." She stated, and the man couldn't help but try to anticipate what she would've said next. "And we thought that it would be a rather perfect time for you to find a bride."

   The prince sucked in a hard breath, not trusting his voice to speak up his mind as it could've cracked, and he was not a teenager anymore, so he feared the way it could've made him look weak in front of the King. Hongjoong had met many princesses, duchesses, nobilities of all kinds, even country girls with exceptional talents, but none ever intrigued him and he surely wasn't going to choose a bride just yet. Hongjoong liked to believe he was too you for marriage, but his two friends always nagged that if he'll dare pass twenty five by himself, no princess will ever marry him for his heart, but for his crown instead, to which Hongjoong only scoffed as he dispatched another set of arrows. "I don't think anyone's marrying me for my heart now either."

    "So what do you say?" He felt as if his words were stuck in his throat and he was unable to get then out, but even if he would've answered as he truly believed, he knew his pleadings would've fallen on deaf ears. Hongjoong knew this day was going to come sooner or earlier, he just didn't expect it quite yet. "I agree, mother," the prince didn't know what gave him the courage to stretch his words, or to arch his eyebrows upwards, or smile like he did, all the while still looking in his plate. "However i also have a proposal.."

   Truly, Hongjoong doesn't know what came over him that evening, yet it was because of his boldness that he found himself mounting one of the finest mares in the stables. The prince had taken care of the horse since it was barely standing, he himself being only a child, enchanted by the pure white little fur on it. He's called her Zoya, a fitting name for a mount like herself, and despite leaving the palace only a couple of times, alongside of his father or mother, he considered the creature loyal enough to not abandon him when he'll most need her.

   With his bow resting in at his hip, the prince started following a rather small river, which eventually brought him in town and down the valley the palace rested on. Hongjoong wearily adventured himself in the wide forest that spread before him, the darkness of it making him shiver slightly as his mind finally wrapped around all the danger that could've hid around. Wolves, bears, mountain lions, all kind of creatures lurked in the forest, however the silver haired prince advanced nonetheless, clutching his bow tighter as if it could've made him feel secure once more.

   Just as he was about to urge his horse to start running, the sound of rapid wings flapping in the air made his skin crowl and his head shoot back, his eyes snapping rapidly on a flock of birds. Their fathers were as white as you could've imagined and as pure as it could've gotten, their bodies long, majestic and elegant, and Hongjoong couldn't help but let his mouth hang open as he stared at the beautiful swans that took over the sky. Within seconds, the brave prince clutched his bow and aimed skillfully, ready to let his arrow pierce through what he nominated as the prettiest swan, but Hongjoong wasn't as hard hearted as his father believed him to be, his eyes saddening and his chest burning as he asked himself how could he kill such a beautiful creature.

   The prince sighed deeply, putting his bow back and giving the horse a gentle nudge as a sign to follow the flock and Zoya took off obediently, rushing Hongjoong through the woods. He enjoyed the way wind blew through his silver locks, caressing his cheeks harshly and he love the adrenaline that came with riding this fast and thinking about how free one could be, thinking about what he's missed his whole life. Hongjoong knew that where there was a smaller river, there had to be a wider water source near by, and the swans that seemed to start heading down only gave him more reasons to believe he was right. The only problem was that he was not expecting the woods to end so quickly, his horse coming to an abrupt halt as it hooves planted in the mud as harsh as it could.

   He jumped eagerly from his horse and there, right before him and barely at two steps away from where his horse stopped, a grand body of water spread itself so widely that the other side of the lake was barley visible through the thin mist. The water sparkled in the shy sunlight of the evening, the sound of a small cascade barely audible in the back and the prince felt his jaw drop slightly one more time. If his mother would've been with him, she wouldn't even look at the beauty in front of her, but would scold him about how unmannered he looked and how that wasn't suitable for princes like him, not even in a million years, but as he spotted the swans floating happily around, everything about manners felt long forgotten.

   The boy in him had the urgent need to sit down in the slightly damp yet soft grass, eyes wide on the beautiful birds before him, yet the mature side in him wanted to mount back on his horse and move forward. There was so much more to explore and so little time, his mind wrapping around the fact that his father had gave him one single day to ride around the kingdom, with the condition that he'd return the evening before the horologe rang three in the morning. Therefore, the prince clutched on the horse's reins ready to mount, sparing one last glance at the lake, who's water started reflecting the rosy color of the sky.

   Hongjoong sucked in his breath, feeling how air left his lungs as he swore he started imagining things. His head whipped back, the forest remaining the only sight for a while, and he took his time thinking about what came into his sight seconds ago. Not long after, he turned around and came to the horrifying conclusion that he was indeed watching as the small bodies of the swans, that now rested calmly on the shore, morphed and twisted, becoming mere humans. Their build was more than just elegant, bodies long and delicate, nothing short of pure beauty. Each wore long gowns, as white and pure as their dazzling wings were, little silver necklaces with one sapphire gem decorating their necks, yet he quickly took notice of the one swan that stood in the middle of them all, sitted on the old trunk of a tree, her eyes glimming with happiness while a silver tiara rested on the top of her head.

   The prince watched them with amazement, as if they had put him under a thick spell like sirens would do to the poor sailors adventuring in the deep waters. Yet the more he watched, the more he couldn't help but feel like an intruder. The women danced and laughed when younger swans tried to impress them, then ran quickly to hide under an older swan's wing. The innocence of the moment was making his own heart fill with happiness, lips curling upwards gently and eyes turning in crescents as a squeaky giggle rolled off his throat.

   The moment all the laughter stopped and a cutting silence settled in, the prince knew he had done something wrong. He felt the warmth that had built in his chest being stripped away from him, eyes growing wide and startled, just as the swans had became. It didn't take long for Hongjoong to see how every pair of eyes rested on him, making him feel anxious. Should he leave? Or was he supposed to stay now? Either way, the answer would've been to not panic, which he's failed the moment one of the youngest of the creatures approached him, yelling loudly the name of who he supposed was the swan with the tiara.

   "Odette! Odette!" The small girl yelled happily, grabbing the prince's hand and jumping up and down while giggling. "It's prince charming! He's come to save us!" At her words, Hongjoong's cheeks started flaring pink, his heart beating faster as each pair of eyes rested on him, and he completely forgot about his tight grip on the bow in his other hand. The mare let out a loud cry, startled by the poor girl before slamming it's hooves harshly in the ground multiple times. In alert, Hongjoong let go of his bow, grabbing the girl's body in his arms and hurrying further away from the horse, who angrily took off back towards the town.

   "Yuna, dear!" The swan quickly run to the prince, her hands coming to grip Hongjoong's arms, which were still holding tightly onto her. "Are you alright?" His voice sounded unsure as he let the woman gently take her in her own hold, hand placing the younger's head again her chest. When a little laughter came from Yuna's lips, everyone sighed in relief, smiles painted on the swans' lips when the smaller swan jumped back on the grass and began twirling around the royalty as she giggled loudly. "Yuna, where are your manners?" Another swan called out, her lips pulled in a thin line and her eyebrows furrowed, and she most definetly was the oldest of the group, her aura holding a maturity that amazed Hongjoong, despite her youthful features.

   "Don't tense yourself, Yongsun." The youngest girl however rolled her eyes at the authority in Yongsun's voice, her own lips pulled in a pout as she bowed slightly in front of the silver haired man. He gave her a polite smile before bowing right back, sending the women in awe. "Come sit with us." The girl next to him offered, and he couldn't help but let his eyes wander over her striking features. She was an unique type of beauty, something he's never seen in anyone before, not even in all the princesses that's come to court him. He loved her voice as well, her tone being like honey to his ears and he couldn't even bring himself to care about the sudden drop of formalities when his orbs found hers.

   "I would hate to make such beautiful ladies uncomfortable with my presence." He acknowledged humbly, felling a shy smile tug at his lips while hearing how the woman, who he assumed was named Odette, let out a wholehearted laugh, her eyes turning to crescents as one of her hands came to hide her mouth. "Bother us? It would be a crime to not enjoy your presence." She assured, nodding her head towards him like encouraging him to take a step forward, and so he did. One step at a time before he found himself sitting in the grass besides a couple of children, who playfully pulled at his clothes and wowed at the fine material.

   "What's your name, son?" The oldest inquired, making Hongjoong's cheeks become pinker again, however this time, his eyes fell on the ground, where his ring decorated fingers gently pulled at the damb grass. "Kim Hongjoong." He spoke softly, not expecting any grand reactions form the group, who only nodded their heads in adoration. "We'll would you look at that, it really is prince charming." Another swan laughed, making Hongjoong himself let out a shy giggle, his eyes involuntary traveling to the swan with a tiara. It felt like hours that he stood there and just watched her, her skin bathing in the golden light of the sunset, and her eyes glimmering with love as she looked at each swan, before her eyes settled on him as well.

   "Do you like to dance?" One of the younger swans looked at him curiously, her small hand coming to grasp at Hongjoong's with excitement as she awaited a reply, and when the prince nodded his head in agreemen, he girl softly tugged him after her, bringing him to his feet. Together, they marveled at the way the forest started lighting up as soon as the sun went under, mushrooms and strange plants glowing in the dark, along with the moss on the trees, it was absolutely beautiful. However Hongjoong didn't have long to observe the landscape, his attention being brought back to the small girl that began dancing with him as the others started singing along, and it didn't take a while for the swans to join in as well, a chorus of laughter spreading trough the rather dormant forest as they all had their fun.

   Yongsun smiled happily as she took Odette's's hand, bringing her closer to the silver haired prince, who bowed deeply and offered his hand, an invitation, the girl concluded as she accepted happily. Perhaps only for tonight, she could forget about her curse, see herself as an actual princess and lose herself in the idea that Hongjoong would be the one to break the curse. However nothing like that happened as they began dancing, a tough wind starting to pull at their bodies, darkness spreading like a plague. The youngest girls found coverage behind the elders, while Hongjoong placed his arms around Odette and brought her closer to his chest, protecting the swan from whatever danger eas awaiting them.

   "Well well.." the sharp voice of a girl that came with the calmness of the weather startled the prince, who felt reluctant to let go of the swan in his arms, yet still let go of her and watched as disgust painted over Odette's features and anger over the others. Just on the shore stood another woman, her gown way shorter and messier as well as dotted with darker shades of black. Her features were just as graceful and as striking as the others, her own features making her look like a devine, but something about her tone made the prince feel sure that she wasn't just as beautiful on the inside.

   "The swan princess found herself a rescuer." She taunted while getting closer, her thumb and pointer wrapping around Odette's chin and bringing her closer. The princess, as the stranger called her, let out a scoff before pulling away, making the black swan laugh as if she was in hysterics. "Hoping you'll turn human again, little one?" She fumed, letting her eyes fall on Hongjoong, who stood stiff and angered, eyes on her like, if he had his arrows, he wouldn't have hesitated to let one of them pierce her heart.

   "It'll never happen, we'll make sure of that, little Odette." The stranger cocked one of her eyebrows while shaking her head and her fingers glazed over the necklace she was proudly wearing. With a last laugh, the black swan took a couple of steps back before her body quickly morphed in the one of a swan, yet her feathers looked disturbed and unhealthy, her body, small, too weak for a creature that was supposed to look as beautiful as a swan.

   "Who was that?" Hongjoong found himself asking, his own eyebrows arched upwards in confusion. His hand found Odette's and gripped it lightly a reassuring smile tugging at the girl's lips as she found comfort in the prince, who was still a stranger. "Odile.. Her father tried casting a curse on the town, however it did not go as planned and it ended up backfiring." She began explaining, choosing carefully her words as she took a glance at his chocolate warm eyes. The prince himself let his gaze meet hers, observant eyes curiously investigating her for a while before he spoke out loud. "Then why are you trapped as swans as well?" Silence washed over the group, the tension growing so thick that Hongjoong could've cut it with a knife. "I didn't say that it didn't work."

   Not much passed before Hongjoong excused himself, getting up and fetching his bow that stood patiently in the grass. He's dropped it earlier when Zoya took off and completely forgot about it, however, in his favor, his loyal mare had found her way back to the lake, thirst driving it back the way it's come. After the prince found himself back on his mount, thanking all of his lucky stars for bringing it back to him, he finally let his eyes fall on the woman with a little crown on her head. He swore he felt his heart beating faster than ever, swirling with the desire to take her with him and keep her to himself, to make her his, and at that moment he knew that there was no one that could ever become his queen, except her.

   "I must head out, however my family is hosting a ball tomorrow, at dusk, in order to find me a bride. It would be a honor to have you as a guest." He spoke softly, taking in the surprise on Odette's face, who only nodded before waving elegantly. With a polite nod from himself, the prince saw himself off as Zoya started galloping as fast as she could towards the palace.

   "You must go." a cold and harsh voice spoke, making the girl's shoulders fall, she put so much hope that perhaps this time, she'll be able to find love by herself, and hearing her father speak like that made her whole world shatter. With a long sigh, the girl turned her head around, in order to hide her glassy eyes, telling herself that it all starts being unfair the moment even her father had turned against her. "I shall not, father." Was all Odile said before she lifted her chin high, eyes becoming sharp as she told herself that it was time to pull free from his strings, yet she had a feeling that it will not be as easy as denying his orders.

    Rothbart, the black swan's father, smiled triumphally, as if the crown had already been placed on his head. He let himself turn around and face his only daughter and with a hushed voiced he whispered. "You'll go.. oh you'll go." Odile wanted to protest, to yell and say something, but the second her father touched her necklace, the poor girl knew it was too late. It took her a quick moment of thinking, preparing herself for what she might see, before she finally turned to the mirror that stood patiently on a wall. It was then that complete sorrow engulfed her heart, failing to find her own reflection. Instead, a familiar face started back at her, Odette's features looking so beautiful and so graceful, yet so ugly to Odile, as she was left to deal with her pain before she could've stopped it. "You do not have a choice."

   "But what should i wear?" Odette sighed, bringing her hands in her lap as she eyed nervously the ground. Her crown was resting on her head, sapphires sparkling in the gentle moonlight. "I cannot show up to a royal ball in this gown.." as much as she loved her dress, it's material softer than silk and whiter than the pearls found in the ocean's depths, she feared it was nothing short of what noblewomen wore to sleep. The more she thought about it, the more Odette found herself trapped between her own thoughts. What if her hair was was not as elegant as the other princesses', what if her little white slippers were to dirty up the expensive carpets around the castle. Worse, despite knowing how to dance, Odette had little knowledge of etiquette, as she's grown up as a simple village girl. She was going to make a fool out of herself and the prince for inviting her.

   "Worry not, Odette." A soft voice came from behind her, but before she's gotten the chance to turn around, a pair of cold hands rested on her bare shoulders, making her gasp at the sudden feeling of chilliness. Shivers traveled up and down on her back, eyes becoming wide in surprise as the speed she turned her head around could've given her a whiplash. Yongsun giggled softly, amused by the fact that she actually spooked the younger swan. "You look beautiful, and your gown is magnificent. Made with soft material like your wings, pulled together by a thread of magic. My dear, you look breathtaking."

   Odette stood a second just looking at her friend, a long sigh leaving her mouth when she understood that Yongsun was right. All she had to do was to have fun, she'd be dancing and talking to people, nothing she hasn't done before, so why was she worrying now? "You should leave, it's getting late." Was all the older woman said as she bent down to kiss the top of her head like a mother would before sending off her child off. A couple of younger swans insisted of going with her, clinging on her gown and her hands before she agreed in defeat. A chorus of laughter and giggles following her the deeper she walked into the forest and the closer she's gotten to the palace.

        Hongjoong stood sitting on the throne, a crown on his head while his parents stood at both of his sides. His rather small body seemed to shrink more and more with every second and with each nod he gave to the young women that would come to bow before him. They were all wearing beautiful gowns, feminine features painted by a thin layer of makeup, jewelries decorating their necks, ears and hair, he had to admit that they were all beautiful, but none of them where Odette. His Odette. He waited patiently for her to make her appearance, eyes running back to the spiral staircase in hopes that he'd spot her, and his observant mother did not take long to notice. "You're waiting for someone." She announced, a hand resting on her son's shoulder in a way of assuring him that it will all be fine.

    Hongjoong nodded, his lips parting slightly as he pondered on his thoughts, however, before he's even gotten thr chance to speak, a familiar face made his heart beat like it never has, and his breath got stuck in his throat. A wave of heat crossed his cheeks, feeling as a strong blush took over his face. From one of the corners of the grand ballroom, he noticed Yeosang smirking his way, Wooyoung whispering something to him before they both snickered.

    "Your highness.." when she arrived in front of him, Hongjoong quickly has gotten up on his feet, refusing to let her bow before him. One of his hands gently taking one of her own as the other traveled to her side in order to bring her body closer to his own with a shy embrace. At the action, a couple of gasps could be heard throughout the room, everyone surprised at the prince's action, yet he did not care, and it could've been the reason why he completely looked past the vile smile that played on the girl's lips. "Odette.. will you dance with me?"

    "We've arrived too late!" One of the little swans warned as she peeked trough the closest window, huffing in defeat at the sight. Odette waisted no time in following her closely, face crumbling in defeat as he watched how her dear Hongjoong waltzed around the room with no one else but Odile. His eyes were so fixed on her that it seemed like she was his whole world, hands gripping her close like she'd parish if he let go, and everyone around them saw it. How in love he was, how much care he put in every step they made together, and that made Odette's stomach churn in pain. Her eyes began watering, heart screaming at her to do something yet her body remained frozen in place.

    "Odette..?" The little girl asked, her tone wobbling as her own eyes began to water as she watched the princess of the swans. The young woman's skin began morphing, little fluff and white feathers growing from her arms and shoulders at a slow peace, like she was to turn in swan once more. With each second she spent looking at her beloved dance with another woman, looking so smitten by her, the little sapphires on the crown she wore began to crack more and more, and panic took over the three children when their own necklaces followed closely and as Hongjoong's voice rang trough their ears.

    "So, Your Highness, would you say that you love me?" Odile questioned as she made eye contact with the prince, who giggled shyly before sighing deeply. He felt caught red-handed and all he could do now was nod his head slightly before speaking softly. "I love you." Yet something didn't feel right, deead filling his heart as he said his words, like a kid that's done something wrong and waited anxiously for his parents to scold him. It was then that he began to fall out of the spell he had been put under, noticing how the woman in front of him did not wear a crown yet a necklace, amber decorating the gem that rested patiently on her neck. The white gown that the swan once wore was not completed jet black, eyes harsh as a voice so cutting he began feeling dizzy.

    "You're not Odette." He stated, stopping from dancing and taking a couple of harsh steps back. The prince's hand flew to his sword, threatening to take it out and use it, yet Odile's smile never faltered. "Even if you harmed me, my mission here had ended." She explained, giggling once more before turning herself in the same swan she morphed in when they first met and before anyone could do anything, she flew past him, soaring trough the open window where four little figures stood at.

    "Odette..?" He asked, feeling his hear break as he noticed how heartbroken she looked, how her skin began turning in feathers and how tears cascaded over her cheeks like they couldn't be stopped. "Odette!" He yelled louder, rushing to jump over the window, yet failing to do so in time before the woman began running back towards the forest. "Hongjoong!" His father warned, yet the prince was far gone, already chasing after the swan with unshed tears blurring his own vision.

    It didn't take long for the two to reach the lake, scratches from little branches decorating their skin as neither had been careful while running, yet that did not matter to them, the heartache burning every bit of ration they had. "I did not know, Odette!" He tried explaining himself, taking a step forward towards the woman, who only took one back, her feet so close to the shore that it made Hongjoong's heart freeze in place. "I thought it was you.."

    Yet what was done was done and both of them knew it, the sapphires finally shuttering as Odette took her crown off, breaking it in two. Without even thinking about the outcome, the swan threw it into the lake, a muffled sob leaving her mouth as she herself took a step closer to the edge. "No! Odette please! I love you!" He shouted, yet it was all in vain as he knew that the curse will get to her before his words will.

    The second he noticed what she intended, the prince rushed to her side, gripping her waist tightly and pressing a soft kiss to her lips, eyes deeply staring in her own like their hearts spoke to each other, and it all felt more than ethereal as both of their bodies hit the water, sinking slowly as they held each other like not even death could do them apart.

   And perhaps it couldn't, as the second the sun began rising, the women that stood next to the lake and mourned the passing of their princess did not turn back to swans, and their gowns turned back to the clothes they once wore when they were running errands around the village. On the other side of the forest, Rothbart felt his powers leave him, a sudden weakness taking over his body as it slowly began turning to ashes. "No!" He yelled like a mantra, yet it was all in vain as ths moment the shy sunlight peeked trough his window, all that remained of him was an amber ring and his daughter, who only stared at the cracked mirror on the wall, ashamed of herself and mad at the world like never before.

    And even years after, deep down, on the bottom of the lake, the two lovers stood embraced, untouched by the time, as if they were simply sleeping. So perhaps, the curse that once plagued the young women became a blessing, as not only has she found peace, but love as well.

[rigmarolling]

Historical Holiday Traditions We Really Need To Bring Back

Here comes Santa Claus, and also a bunch of annual holiday Things we do to ensure he commits a truly boggling act of breaking and entering and leaves goods underneath the large plant in the living room.

Because I’ve always got a hankerin’ for the days of yore, here are some historical holiday traditions we really need to bring back:

1. Everything that happened on Saturnalia

Saturnalia was the ancient Roman winter festival held on December 25th--which is why we celebrate Christmas on that day and not on the day historians speculate Jesus was actually born, which was probably in the spring. 

Saturnalia was bonkers. As the name suggests, it celebrated the god Saturn, who represented wealth and liberty and generally having a great time.

Above: Their party is way cooler than yours could ever hope to be.

During Saturnalia, masters would serve their slaves, because it was the one day during the year when everybody agreed that freedom for all is great, actually, let’s just do that. Everyone wore a coned hat called the pilleus to denote that they were all bros and equal, and also to disguise the fact that they hadn’t brushed their hair after partying hard all week, probably.

Gambling was allowed on Saturnalia, so all of Rome basically turned into ancient Vegas, complete with Caesar’s Palace, except with the actual Caesar and his palace because he was, you know. Alive. 

The most famous part (besides getting drunk off your rocker) was gift-giving--usually gag gifts. Historians have records of people giving each other some truly impressive white elephant gifts for Saturnalia, including: a parrot, balls, toothpicks, a pig, one single sausage, spoons, and deliberately awful books of poetry. 

Above: Me, except all the time.

Partygoers also crowned a King of Saturnalia, which was a predecessor to the King of Fools popular in medieval festivals. The king was basically the head idiot who delivered absurd commands to everyone there, like, “Sing naked!” or “run around screaming for an hour,” or “slap your butt cheeks real hard in front of your crush; DO IT, Brutus.”

Oh, wait. Everyone was already doing all that. Hell yes.

(Quick clarification: early celebrations of Saturnalia did feature human sacrifice, so let’s just leave that bit out and instead wear the pointy hats and sing naked, okay? Io Saturnalia, everybody.)

2. Leaving out treats for Sleipnir in the hopes of avoiding Odin’s complete disregard for your property

The whole “leave out cookies and milk for Santa” thing comes from a much older tradition of trying to appease old guys with white beards. In Norse mythology, Odin, who was sort of the head god but preferred to be on a perpetual road trip instead, took an annual nighttime ride through the winter sky called the Wild Hunt. 

Above: The holidays, now with 300% more heavy metal.

Variations of the Wild Hunt story exist in a bunch of European folklore--in Odin’s case, he usually brought along a bunch of supernatural buddies, like spirits and other gods and Valkyries and ghost dogs, who, the Vikings said, you could hear howling and barking as the group approached (GOOD DOGGOS).

That was the thing, though; you never actually saw Odin’s hunt--you only heard it. And hearing it did not spark the same sense of childish glee you felt when you thought you heard Santa’s sleigh bells approaching as a kid--instead, the Vikings said, you should be afraid. Be VERY afraid.

Because Odin could be kind of a dick.

Odin was also known as the Allfather, and like any father, he hated asking for directions. GPS who? I’m the Allfather, I’m riding the same way I always ride.

And that was pretty much it: “I took this road last year and I’m taking it again this year.”

“But,” someone would pipe up from the back, “there are houses on the road now--we’re gonna run right into them. We could just take a different path; there’s actually a detour off the--”

“Nope,” Odin would say. “They know the rules. My road, my hunt, my rules. We’re going this way.”

So if you were unlucky enough to have built your house along one of Odin’s favorite road trip sky-ways, he wouldn’t just plow right past you.

He would burn your entire house down--and your family along with it.

Kids playing in the yard? Torch ‘em; they should have known better. Grandma knitting while she waits for her gingerbread Einherjar to finish baking? Sucks to be her; my road, my rules, my beard, I’m the Allfather, bitch.

Above: Santa, but so much worse.

To be fair to Odin, he could be a cool guy sometimes. He just turned into any dad when he was on a road trip and wanted to MAKE GOOD TIME, DAMN IT, I AM NOT STOPPING; YOU SHOULD HAVE PEED BEFORE WE LEFT.

To ensure they didn’t incur Odin’s road trip wrath, the Vikings had a few ways of smoothing things over with Dad.

They would leave Odin offerings on the road, like pieces of steel (??? okay ???) or bread for his dogs, or food for his giant, eight-legged horse, Sleipnir, because the only true way to a man’s heart is through his pet. 

People would generally leave veggies and oats and other horse-y things out for Sleipnir, whose eight legs made him the fastest flying horse in the world and also made him the only horse to ever win Asgard’s coveted tap dancing championship. 

(Side note: EIGHT legs...EIGHT tiny reindeer...eh? Eh? See how we got here? Thanks, nightmare horse!)

Above: An excellent prancer AND dancer. 

And if Odin was feeling particularly charitable and not in the mood for horrific acts of arson, children would also leave their shoes out for him--it was said that he’d put gifts in your boots to ring in a happy new year.

If all that didn’t work and the Vikings heard the hunt approaching, they would resort to throwing themselves on the ground and covering their heads while the massive party sped above them like a giant Halloween rager. 

So this holiday season, leave your boots out for Odin and some carrots out for his giant spider horse or you and your entire family will die in a fiery inferno, the end.

3. Yule Logs

Speaking of Scandinavia, another Northern European winter solstice tradition was the yule log. Today, if you google “yule log,” something like this will pop up:

...which isn’t an actual log, but is instead log-shaped food that you shove into your mouth along with 500 other cakes at the same time because it’s CHRISTMAS, and I’m having ME TIME; so WHAT if I ate the whole jar of Nutella by myself, alone, in the dark at 3 am?

But that log cake is actually inspired by actual logs of yore that Celtic, Germanic, and Scandinavian peoples decorated with fragrant plants like holly, ivy, pinecones, and other Stuff That Smells Nice before tossing the log into the fire.

This served a few purposes: 

It smelled nice, and Bath and Body Works scented candles hadn’t been invented yet.

It had religious and/or spiritual significance as a way to mark the winter solstice.

It was a symbolic way of ringing in the new year and kicking out the old.

Common belief held that the ashes of a yule log could ward off lightning strikes and bad energy.

Winter cold. Fire warm.

Everybody loves to watch things burn. (See: Odin.)

The yule log cakes we eat today got their start in 19th century Paris, when bakers thought it was a cute idea to resurrect an ancient pagan tradition in the form of a delicious dessert, and boy, howdy, were they right.

In any case, I’m 100% down with eating a chocolate yule log while burning an actual yule log in my backyard because everybody loves to watch things burn; winter cold, fire warm; and hnnnngggg pine tree smell hnnnnggg.

(Quick note:  The word “yule” is  the name of a traditional pagan winter festival, still celebrated culturally or religiously in modern pagan practice. It’s also another name for Odin. He had a bunch of other names, one of the most well-known being jólfaðr, which is Old Norse for “Yule father.” If you would like to royally piss him off, or if you are Loki, feel free to call him “Yule Daddy.”)

4. Upside down Christmas trees

I just found out that apparently, upside down Christmas trees are a hot new trend with HGTV types this year, so I guess this is one historical trend we did bring back, meaning it doesn’t really belong on this list, but I’m gonna talk about it, anyway.

Side note: Oh, my god, that BANNISTER. I NEED.

Historians aren’t actually sure where the inverted Christmas tree thing came from, but we know people were bringing home trees and then hanging them upside down in the living room as early as the 7th century. We have a couple theories as to why people turned trees on their heads:

Logistically, it’s way easier to hang a giant pine tree from your rafters upside down by its trunk and roots. You just hoist that baby up there, wind some rope around the rafter and the trunk, and boom. Start decorating.

A Christian tradition says that one day in the 7th century, a Benedictine monk named Saint Boniface stumbled across a group of pagans worshipping an oak tree. So, instead of minding his own damn business, he cut the tree down and replaced it with a fir tree. While the pagans were like, “Dude, what the hell?” Boniface used the triangular shape of the fir tree to explain the concept of the holy trinity to the pagans. Some versions have him planting it right-side up, others having him displaying a fir tree upside down. Either way, it’s still a triangle that’s a solid but ultimately very rude way of explaining God. Word’s still out on whether anyone was converted or just rightly pissed off that this random guy strolled into their place of worship, chopped down their sacred tree, and plopped HIS tree down instead. Please do not do that this holiday season.

Eastern Europeans lay claim to the upside-down tree phenomenon with a tradition called podłazniczek in Poland--people hung the tree from the ceiling and decorated it with fruits and nuts and seeds and ribbons and other festive doodads. 

(God, who lives in these houses? Look at that. That’s like a swanky version of Gaston’s hunting lodge. Where do I get one? Which enchanted castle do I have to stumble into to chill out in a Christmas living room like that?)

Today, at least in the West, upside-down trees are making a comeback because...I don’t know. Chip and Joanna Gaines said so. 

Some folks say it’s a surefire way to keep your cats from clawing their way through the tree and then puking up fir needles for weeks afterward, which checks out for me.

5. Incredibly weird Victorian Christmas cards

So back in the 19th century, the Christmas card industry was really getting fired up. Victorians loved their mail, let me tell you. They loved sending it. They loved getting it. They loved writing it. They loved opening it. They loved those sexy wax seals you use to keep all that sweet, sweet mail inside that sizzling envelope. (Those things are incredibly sexy. Have you ever made a wax seal? Oh, man, it’s hot.)

The problem, though, was that while the Victorians arguably helped standardize many of the holiday traditions we know and love today (Christmas trees, caroling, Dickens everything, spending too much money, etc.) back in 1800-whenever, a lot of that Christmas symbolism was, um...still under construction. No one had really agreed on which visual holiday cues worked and which...didn’t.

Meaning everyone just kind of made up their own holiday symbols. Which resulted in monstrous aberrations like this card:

What the hell is that? A beet? Is that a beet? Or a turnip? Why is it...oh, God, why does it have a man’s head? Why does the man beet have insect claws? 

What is it that he’s holding? A cookie? Cardboard? A terra cotta planter?

And then there’s this one:

“A Merry Christmas to you,” it says, while depicting a brutal frog murder/mugging. 

What are you trying to tell me? Are you threatening me with this card? Is that it? Is this a threat? How the hell am I supposed to interpret this? “Merry Christmas, hide your money or you’re dead, you stupid bitch.”

Also, why is the dead frog naked? Did the other frog steal his clothes after the murder? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS?

Victorian holiday cards also doubled as early absurdist Internet memes, apparently, because how else do I explain this?

Is this some sort of tiny animal Santa? A mouse riding a lobster? Like, the mouse, I get. Mice are fine. Disney built an empire on a mouse. And look, he’s got a little list of things he’s presumably going to bring you: Peace, joy, health, happiness. (In French. Oh, wait, is that that Patton Oswalt rat?)

But a LOBSTER? What’s with the lobster? It’s basically a sea scorpion. Why in the name of all that is good and holy would you saddle up a LOBSTER? I hate it. I hate it so, so much. Just scurrying around the floor with more legs than are strictly necessary, smelling like the seafood section of Smith’s, snapping its giant claws.

This whole card is a health inspector’s worst nightmare. It really is.

I gotta say, though, I am a fan of this one:

Presumably, that polar bear is going in for a hug because nothing stamps out a polar bear’s innate desire to rip your face from your skull than candy canes and Coke and Christmas spirit.

This next one is actually fantastic, but for all the wrong reasons:

I know everyone overuses “same” these days but geez, LOOK at that kid. I can HEAR it. SAME.

If you’ve ever been in a shopping mall stuffed with kids, nothing sums it up better than this card. This is like the perverse version of those Anne Geddes portraits that were everywhere in the late 90s. “Make wee Jacob sit in the tea pot; everyone will--Jacob, STOP, look at Mommy; I said LOOK. AT. MOMMY--everyone will love it.”

Actually, you know what? Every other Christmas card is cancelled. This is the only card we will be using from now on. This is it. 

Wait, no. We can also use this one:

Merry Christmas. Here’s a fuckin’...just a dead fuckin’ bird.

[morningstar-descended]

Here's a challenge for ya, 📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂📂, there should be at least 100 there for ya, have fun 😊- 🦀 anon

Mammon was an accomplished soldier in the Celestial Realm

Belphie used to be a little Lucifer Mini-Me when he was a young Angel

Lucifer would sing his siblings to sleep, Before

He didn’t tell his brothers about Lilith because he didn’t want them to interfere with her new life. It was hard enough for him not to.

Diavolo’s older brother, Beleth, has a scar covering the left side of his face from where Dia ground him into the dirt to try and get him to yield.

Their formal fight for the crown lasted three days.

Diavolo’s younger brother, Amaymon, is Asmo’s sugar daddy.

Diavolo’s Mom is also still alive, she has her own estate in another part of the Devildom. She can suplex him.

Lucifer will absently neaten up his brother’s clothes for them while he’s lecturing them.

Lucifer has fed demons and unruly Witches to Cerberus before.

Mammon has never had a partner in any sense of the word.

Satan was ‘born’ as a baby.

Asmo used to dress Satan up in little outfits when he was small.

Satan can repeat almost everything he’s read verbatim.

Lucifer has to double check that he knows where all of his brothers are before he can rest at night, unless he passes out.

All the brothers wore their hair long as angels. Lucifer’s the only one who’s never grown it back out since their fall.

It took Lucifer around six hundred years to develop proper feelings for Diavolo.

Lucifer is deathly afraid of Diavolo’s father.

Barbatos is possibly--not counting Diavolo--Lucifer’s only friend.

The Sport Beel plays is a type of Wrestling mixed with MMA and Capture the Flag. It’s played topless.

Lucifer will occasionally ask Levi to explain the plot of an anime or game to him if he wants to zone out for a while. He’s listening, but because following what Levi is talking about takes a lot of concentration, it’s almost like meditating.

Lucifer’s hair got its white / gray streaks when they lost Lilith.

Lucifer actually does have some wrinkles, he just hides them most of the time.

No matter how hard he tries, Lucifer just can’t get good at video games.

Lucifer will write out bits of sheet music when he’s bored.

Lucifer has more demon markings on his body than just the diamond on his forehead.

Lucifer’s hands are very scarred, mostly from dealing with small child Satan.

Beel’s sport is unnamed because in Infernal, it literally just is called “The Sport” since there’s only one.

Almost all of the siblings have physically torn an opponent to shreds and or consumed them. Asmo and Mammon are notable exceptions.

Satan went through a phase where he spoke solely in riddles.

Levi was hardcore into theater before animation became more of a thing. he still has a lot of opinions about it.

Belphie spent most of their early fallen years either half asleep, or completely asleep.

Beel is incapable of chewing gum or sucking on a jaw breaker properly. He impulsively swallows whatever goes in his mouth.

Lucifer has been summoned to the human world successfully only twice in his existence. He killed both summoners for the audacity.

The entire garden around the house of lamentation was of Lucifer’s design.

Mammon has the best control over his shape-shifting--able to stay in a false form for longer, and able to retain his humanoid form despite high emotions.

The brothers are, quite literally, Devildom Celebrities.

Diavolo has never kept a pet before.

Lucifer is ambidextrous, but prefers his left hand.

Mammon is left handed.

Gluttony demons tithe to Lord Beelzebub on his birthday in the form of whatever food they fixate on.

The first angel Lucifer killed after his fall was one he didn’t actually recognize.

The first angel Mammon killed was one of his friends from the Celestial Guard.

Lucifer will never forgive the other Archangels for turning their back on him.

Lucifer has only ever had two partners in any sense of the term in his entire life.

Beel used to be the smallest, before he hit his growth spurt and overshot all of them.

Lucifer swears almost exclusively in celestial, when he’s pissed off enough to actually swear.

Satan doesn’t really have any of Lucifer’s memories, but he retained the emotions based around them. It’s confusing.

Lucifer can cook just fine, but he can’t bake to save his life.

The Longest Lucifer has stayed awake without any rest was about a month. It wasn’t pretty.

Half of the time Lucifer says something funny it’s unintentional.

Most of the Devildom’s current infrastructure was pioneered by Diavolo’s father.

King Diavolo’s real name is Ba’al.

Lucifer can play basically any instrument that’s been invented, apart from electronic only ones.

Levi’s skill in painting could put any of the great masters to shame.

Lucifer isn’t a fan of a poultry, ironically.

The fact that they can get Belphie to wear his complicated RAD uniform everyday while being the Cardinal Sin of Sloth is a point towards how well Belphie controls his sin.

Being a shutin used to be cool and mysterious-- Levi mourns that social shift often.

Lucifer considers Levi the easiest brother to handle because he doesn’t really leave his room.

Mammon, while definitely being guilty of lots of grifts and get rich quick schemes, actually has at least five jobs on top of his stipend for being a Sin.

Lucifer has been trying to figure out how to kill those three witches for causing him problems by proxy, but he hasn’t figured out a legal way to justify it yet.

Amaymon is Diavolo’s youngest sibling. Lucifer can’t stand him.

Flower arranging is one of Asmo’s hobbies.

Asmo also has the best eye for interior design aesthetics, even if he uses them to make a room look... Like That.

For Centuries Lucifer couldn’t even begin to talk about his interests without Diavolo flooding him with related gifts. He’s gotten better about it since.

Lucifer and Diavolo’s relationship was purely physical at first.

Beel often uses the fact that his brothers think he’s stupid for his own gain. Most of the time it’s to get more food, but whatever works works.

Lucifer is completely fire proof now as a demon, inside and out.

He has nightmares of fire, though.

In one of the battles of the Celestial war, The Archangel Michael did his Signature “Step on Lucifer’s face/head trick” And Lucifer nearly took his leg off for it.

All demons can both purr and growl.

Lucifer’s back is heavily scarred from his fall and Satan’s creation both.

Mammon physically regenerates the fastest, and Belphie the slowest.

Levi, due to Envy’s ability to constantly and unintentionally buff the demons around him, is always helping his brothers in some small way whether he means to or not.

Beel still has specific nightmares of Lilith’s death, and will often crawl into Belphie’s bed to hold him after.

Satan never knew Lilith, but he’s emotionally attached to her because of the vague memories he inherited from Lucifer.

Asmo’s hair, if he grew it out, would be loosely curly.

All Lust type demons are Incubi / Succubi / Concubi.

Wrath type demons are the ones who cause classic hauntings.

All sleep paralysis demons are Sloth demons, though.

Pride type demons are the most prone to possessing humans in power, despite Lucifer having never possessed a human before.

Barbatos is actually a little bit older than Diavolo, but not by much.

Luke is basically Michael’s son.

Simeon is the younger brother of the Archangel Jophiel (the Angel of Beauty).

Asmo, if given the chance to defect back to the Celestial Realm, would seriously consider it.

Mammon acts like a fool, but isn’t one himself.

Belphie and Beel aren’t quite telepathic, but they always know where the other is, or if they’re in trouble.

The Cardinal sin of Wrath traditionally writes all of the punitive legislation in the devildom, so Satan is the one who writes out what crime gets what punishment.

The Devildom’s economy has never flourished so much before Mammon became the sin of Greed.

A good 60% of the work Lucifer does is paperwork that should actually be handled by one of his brothers.

Asmo’s painted his nails with his own venom before, and then used it to kill people who piss him off.

The only person Lucifer can accept losing to is Diavolo.

Lucifer isn’t a functional person until around 2 hours after he’s woken up. Luckily he tends to get up around 4:30a.m. / 5a.m. so when normal people have to interact with him, he’s mostly aware.

Mammon likes to over-saturate his foods with toppings and sauces, which is why Beel can’t stand his cooking.

Asmo likes the taste of straight vodka.

Lucifer once slapped another demon’s head clean off when they spoke back to him while he was addressing Diavolo’s court.

Lucifer and Diavolo’s first real “Date” was in the Royal Garden.

Any part of an Archdemon is worth a small fortune, as they’re rather potent spell ingredients.

If you talk shit about Mammon near a Greed type demon they WILL beat your ass.

Diavolo loved Lucifer on sight. Or, well, he loved the look of him.

[t455a-rambles]

A Little Insight of StarCatcher Boyfriend and Girlfriend.

Since I've got nothing better to do, I might as well write what and how's the relationship between Boyfriend and Girlfriend.

Oh yeah! Don't forget to support the creators of the mod, Kip and Startdust Tunes.

Now, from my first post for Boyfriend's backstory, I briefly mentioned how he and Girlfriend are mostly fascinated in one another and they took the opportunity to hang out more as they are collecting the Star Gems. [I know I keep on switching from "stars" to "specific gem" to "Star Gems". But this time, this time it's called Star Gems, okay?]

But I want more in depth with it. And this is where it begins

...

Okay, now let's backtrack to when Boyfriend and Girlfriend first met. Now I mentioned Boyfriend was terrified yet curious with Girlfriend and vice versa. Boyfriend was the first who started the conversation. Of course he said "Hello" to Girlfriend.

And as you would guess it, Girlfriend did not pick up the language immediately and just responded with, "Bloop doo beep?" Boyfriend tried to slow down his speak and uses hand gesture. "Hello. My name is Boyfriend. What is your name?" To Boyfriend's surprise, Girlfriend understood what he was saying and responded with fluent English. "Oh. Nice to meet you! My name is [ [REDACTED] Because I dunno what an alien name suited for her lol]."

Boyfriend tried to pronounce Girlfriend's real name, but it ended up sounding so bad, to which he apologized for it. Girlfriend reassured Boyfriend and it was okay for him to not get it right. Girlfriend tried to come up with a name that is easy for Boyfriend to remember. Then an idea popped out. "How about you call me, Girlfriend."

Boyfriend looked up to Girlfriend with a red blush on his face. "Y- You can't call yourself "Girlfriend". We're not even dating!" Girlfriend rolled her eyes and let out a sarcastic tone, but it's a playful one. "You're name is literally "Boyfriend" for crying out loud."

Girlfriend did have a point and never did Boyfriend felt speechless by that fact. He then agreed to call the alien "Girlfriend", but he still wanted to pronounce her name correctly. This made Girlfriend flattered by his determination.

Girlfriend then asked where did Boyfriend come from and his response was gotten suck by a powerful energy while he was out to take a planet's sample. He figured it was a wormhole which brought him here.

"You're lucky that the wormhole brought you here. Who knows where you might land. Maybe near the blackhole." Boyfriend was terrified by the possibility and Girlfriend said it in a calm manner did not help the situation at all.

Girlfriend asked about the planet Boyfriend previously visited, brushing what she said earlier. Boyfriend shook off the dread feeling and explained it excitedly.

Then a question came in Boyfriend's mind. "Uh... Girlfriend. Does this planet have a supply of oxygen? I'm worried my tank is running out of air." Girlfriend wasn't familiar with the word, "oxygen" and what's the use for it.

Boyfriend explained that it's a gas molecule which helps humans stay alive. He tried to find something to draw as a example on what it looked like. Sadly, there wasn't anything to draw.

Meanwhile, Girlfriend slowly understood why the oxygen was important. "Uh... Hate to break it to you, but I don't think there's a particular gas around here." Oh how Boyfriend was panicking because he would die quiet early. And if he died, he wouldn't be able to explore and study this different universe.

Seeing Boyfriend in distressed, made Girlfriend feel bad for him. She tried to come up with something that could help Boyfriend stay alive. Then, an idea struck. She took off her ring bracelet and transformed it into a star shape. And later slapped it onto Boyfriend's glass helmet. "There you go!"

Boyfriend was stunned on what happened and touched the area where Girlfriend "gently" pressed the item. "Uh... Girlfriend. What did you put on my helmet?"

"That's a Star Shield, it used to be my bracelet. What it does is for you to survive the harsh space out there. In this case, you are able to breath without even worrying about your low oxygen." Girlfriend explained it proudly.

Boyfriend slowly taken in the new information, which to him was another puzzle he needed to solve. "Okay. But why put it on my helmet?" He asked as he pointed the said object. "Oh! I just thought it looks cute there!" Girlfriend smiled happily.

Boyfriend smiled as well. "Thanks, Girlfriend. But, are you sure you're okay without your bracelet as your shield?" Girlfriend waved her hands dismissively. "It's okay. Besides, why do you think I have two more on my upper arms?" She showed her own Ring Shields.

"Huh. I thought they were just accessories." Girlfriend just scoffed playfully. "You'd be surprised what other things I can do with these bracelets." Boyfriend was all excited again. "Really?! Can you show me?"

"Hmm... Nah. That's top secret." She giggled as Boyfriend begged for her to tell.

.

Both Boyfriend and Girlfriend just wandered together through the crowded area. Even if it's a terrible idea to Boyfriend, but Girlfriend reassured him that her people have seen different species from different planets visited and left their planet occasionally. So Boyfriend wasn't that strange to them.

But even with Girlfriend's calm words, it didn't shake the crowd staring at Boyfriend curiously before moving on. Such an awkward and intense feeling there. But that didn't stop Boyfriend from examining some weird objects. Did I said some? I meant a lot of weird object and Girlfriend had to explain them all, which was tiring.

"Boyfriend, can we rest up? My feet are starting to sore." Boyfriend was so distracted that he didn't noticed how long they were walking. Sheepishly, he agreed and now Girlfriend was the one dragging Boyfriend to a quiet spot.

As the two sat beside each other, Boyfriend huffed out his breath, which caused a fog appeared on his helmet. He chuckled and watched the fog slowly evaporated. "Thank you, Girlfriend, for teaching me the wonders of your planet."

Girlfriend smiled and said "Your welcome" to Boyfriend. There was another request from Boyfriend himself. "Hey, Girlfriend. If you don't mind, can you teach me your language you've said the first time we met?"

"You mean the [REDACTED] or to put it simply, the Beep Language? Are you sure? It's kinda complicated for someone new to it." Boyfriend looked at Girlfriend with determination. "Yeah, I do! How else am I suppose to communicate with your native language? I uh... kinda feel bad for you to speak English all day." Boyfriend bashfully scratched his lower helmet.

Girlfriend found herself admiring Boyfriend's determination even more. "Alright. I'll tell you the basics and work up from there." Boyfriend nodded excitedly and their lesson began.

.

From this point, I mentioned one of the Royal Guard found Girlfriend and reported to Daddy Dearest, or should we say [REDACTED]. [Lol I'll never get tired of using that word. I promised I'll come up with the alternative names for the Dearest family. Or maybe not. Who knows lol].

Anyway, you know what happens after that. So let's just skip to the aftermath of the first battle.

.

So, the Star Gems are scattered, right? So, how would Boyfriend travelled without a vehicle? Simple, he rides on Girlfriend's speakers. At least, that's what I think. Besides, what's a flying object use for if it's not for transportation, right?

But you know what the coolest part when taking a cruise on a flying speaker with Girlfriend? They can watch a lot of beautiful stars and dust clouds up-close. Man, I wished I can do that too.

From there, Boyfriend's continued to asked more questions to Girlfriend. And even though it's annoying sometimes, Girlfriend didn't mind. So long as she could travel longer with someone other than her parents and relearning everything about the universe.

After all, Boyfriend gave some insights on what he knew during his astronaut training and from his reading. And with a little friendly conversation about themselves even more. Oh, and Boyfriend is getting fluent with the Beep Language.

I do think they slowly develop an attraction from one another before they meet the last two battles. Boyfriend and Girlfriend told each other how their respected species act and do when they are in love.

I will explain Girlfriend's side on my upcoming fanon world-building for Girlfriend's universe. So keep an eye for that ;]

...

And that's it for today's fanon story! Wooh! I had a lot of fun creating these interaction with two people and semi their personalities as I am impromptu writing this lol.

Anyway, thank you for those who had read this far!

Have a nice day!