#not-a-space-alien

[showrunnerihardlyknowher]

Have you ever seen Fantastic Planet? It's literally a retro future giant/tiny movie where tiny people are kept as pets and there's even a scene where a colony in the park gets raided by an exterminator. Weird, niche movie and so similar to what you just posted I actually had to double check that's not what the post was about

I have, actually!! I watched it when I was younger (when I had a weirdly growing interest in g/t and unfiltered internet access) and you could find fully pirated movies on Youtube lmao. I never liked the second half of the movie when the human runs away after his owner got bored of him so I would just constantly rewatch the first part.

[geraskierfanficprompts]

I second the "Jaskier and the kaer morhen moving company" tags from dearest @penandinkprincess I want to read a fic about Jaskier getting his strapping beautiful lads

Hired a moving company and they sent four strong, strapping, beautiful lads to my house to disassemble my furniture and move all my things. I loved them. I got them pizza. They told me moving company gossip. I missed them one minute after they left. My moving lads. Come back to me. You're so strong and so well trained in safe lifting

[wuntrum]

ripley :)

[outtawack]

[loonarmuunar]

Humans being the first. Not the strongest or the smartest or the weirdest or the most violent. Just the first.

We called out into the dark over and over. We sent out messages in hopes. We searched every planet we could reach, in hopes of any sign of life. Any at all.

We thought, hoped we were the last, because we couldn’t bear the idea of being the one ones this awake and alive in a world as vast as this.

And we died alone.

When the others are born, many many years later, they find us, everything we left for them.

They recover The Golden Record and look at it a million times over, they dig up our fossils and put us in museums, they study us for years and years, loving us as we love our ancestors’ painted hands on cave walls.

In a lot of their languages, the word they use for us has the same root for “mother”.

[takemetoyourdealerz]

[trainwreckrenegade]

[skritzzy]

I feel like any aliens that were prey at some point in evolution would have an odd fear of humans. Mostly cause they look like predators, act a bit like predators, and ARE predators. One perfect example is when we're focused on something like a mosquito that's been bugging us for a long time and we are just done.

Alien: "What. What..?"

Human: *HUNTING down a mosquito it saw*

Alien: ".... yeah I am really uncomfortable...."

Human: *quiet footsteps, pupils dialated, intense focus,*

Alien: *WAR FLASHBACKS*

Human: "Found you." *absolutely desimates the mosquito, squashing it into a million pieces as it's guts and various body parts liquidize into blood of the bloodthirsty, now stained on the palm of the human. A living being now reduced to a useless corpse as the human wipes the remains on their pants*

Alien: "I feel like I've just gained trauma."

[puppetmaster13u]

Y'know sometimes I wonder what Ras reaction was to the Justice League. Like he practically offered Bruce the chance to be one of his generals, straight up offered for him to be his heir, and was turned down.

Do you think he's offended. Because oh, so his organization isn't good enough, but that merry band of idiots is?!

[archrries]

Humans cracking their knuckles as an intimidation tactic against aliens

Can you imagine being an alien and this thing just broke its bones at you?????

I'd be scared tbh

Why did it make that noise

That's a bone breaking noise

It's like those ppl who bite off their acrylics before a fight

[humanoidhistory]

Alien production still.

[tachvintlogic]

Humans are a bad influence

Human: It really is an amazing coincidence...

Ztsaxhi: Hey guys, the food replicator glitched out and gave me way more food than it should. Want some? It's kind of like human "chips."

Käfavayarlop: Is it safe for my species?

Ztsaxhi: Let me check... no poisons but...oh damn, the food guide says it has capsaicin that's painful for you. Sorry.

Human: Ooh, Let me have some then!

Ztsaxhi: Go ahead.

Käfavayarlop: But wait, weren't we just saying that Käfavayarlopen and humans have weirdly similar taste buds—

Human *bites into chip*: Wow! Hggh, that is— REALLY spicy! You were not kidding about capsaicin.

Ztsaxhi: Are you okay?

Human: Fine! It's actually good, I swear. *eats the rest of the chip*

Käfavayarlop: Your face is turning red.

Human: Yeah, capsaicin does cause pain, that's the spiciness, but it's a good kind of pain. It adds to the flavor. *takes another chip*

Ztsaxhi: So "spiciness" is just pain?

Human: Kind of. It's—It's an acquired taste.

Käfavayarlop: ...I want to try.

Ztsaxhi: No!

Human: Let them! Though I will warn you this is not beginner friendly.

Käfavayarlop: *bites* Sacred Gonork! My mouth is on fire!

Human: You good?

Käfavayarlop: No. *takes another bite*

Ztsaxhi: No, don't keep eating it!

Käfavayarlop: But it's good.

Human: Is bovine milk safe for them? We probably need it.

Ztsaxhi: I'll check, yes it is. Wait, is this what all those jokes about humans pairing Ztsaxhi cuisine with milk are about?

Human: Yeah, it helps with the pain.

Ztsaxhi: Why would you even eat food that hurts you?

Human and Käfavayarlop: It's an acquired taste.

[allwhiterain]

Sigourney Weaver as Ellen Ripley in Alien (1979) directed by Ridley Scott

[humansarespaceorcsforeal]

Voyage Log 179: Our ship is due to receive a human crewmate. My colleagues are pleased. They have served with humans before. I've heard their stories and I must say, I have some concerns.

They're chaotic and messy and invasive. They talk. So much. I doubt I will become close to the new human.

Voyage Log 199: The new human arrived some time ago. They seem different from the way their species is typically described. They're..... quiet. They keep to themselves but aren't unfriendly when approached. I'm not sure what to make of them.

Voyage Log 210: Human Chris has taken sitting at the same table as me during meals. We don't speak and keep a respectable distance. It's... not unpleasant.

Voyage Log 219: Chris is fond of gardening as well! It is a difficult hobby to have on a ship. They have shared several tips as to how I can improve the health of my Hyacinths.

Voyage Log 241: I have been suspended from active duty for breaking Von's olfactory sensor. I assured the Captain that I did it on a whim and certainly not because Von destroyed Chris's Geranium. I am most definitely not attached to the Human.

Voyage Log 242: Chris has joined me in my temporary suspension. They kicked Von in his reproductive organ after hearing him calling me expletives. They told the Captain that they were definitely not attached to me either.

[el0wyn]

Honestly obsessed with the "Humans are the cats of space" corner of the whole trope.

We may be seen as objectively adorable. We're tiny predators, vicious and mighty with teeth and nails, but also easy to pick up and hold and swing around while saying "Babyyyy"

We're quiet and sneaky in the wild, hard to catch and contain, very effective hunters and climbers. But when domesticated who wouldn't just lounge around if we're given free food, unlimited sleep, and constant enrichment?

And same with cats, there's a variety of how humans act and feel about these huge creatures taking care of us. Some of us might be very chatty, very affectionate, some probably clingy if we trust our Alien enough. While others don't screw with their personal space, would scratch and bite if you do something they don't like. The affection is at their pace cause otherwise you'll come out with a few scars.

As small as we are, the more wild independent humans have the strength and means to take down predators so much bigger than us when the situation becomes dire enough. There's been cats who've gotten dogs, wolves, and bears singlehandedly.

A human that's been in an alien family long enough would probably chase off a huge threatening space creature to protect the alien young, just as cats have done for human children.

Imagine after a few years of integration with aliens, some humans don't get by well with taking care of their children so they find an alien that looks responsible and careful enough and they leave their young on their doorstep so they can grow up with all the food and shelter they could ever need.

Maybe they have a human distribution system where a person who's just tired of the human world picks a ship to stay on, and the aliens on board just accept it because that's how humans are. Maybe they help provide pest control for those space creatures small enough to hide in hard-to-reach areas of the ship.

And even amongst all this agility and predatory instinct, humans can still be pretty dumb and airhead and ridiculous. Imagine how hilarious aliens would find it when we get jumpscared or sneeze or feel the random need to stim and run around. Alien puts a long sticky parchment on that crevice of our backs that's hard to reach and watches as we struggle to reach and take it off cause it's annoying, same way we might put tape on a cat's head. Maybe they find the funky way a human mom tries to carry her too-big baby funny the same way a mom cat dragging her too-big baby by the scruff is funny.

Maybe there's a language barrier, but Aliens notice our odd human sounds and mimic them to get our attention, but they struggle with the different sound and pronunciation we just hear random gargled calls of "Molasses!" "Tree!" "税金!" when they're just trying to greet us. And you learn to recognize the pattern of noises that mean whatever name they gave you in their language.

Humans really are just big cats.