#noticed the Taemin from SHINee is gone again too

[ultrakdramamama]

Wait...so Taemin changed his Instagram name???

I was pissed for a minute because I thought someone hacked him, but evidently he copied Jinki and  "xoals" spells out taemin on the korean keyboard! and "ox" is "tae" backwards. At least that is what people are saying.🤔

[peppertaemint]

hey! on the army/shawol drama –

i am a shawol and an army (or well... i am a bts fan lol i don't like associating with armys if i can help it) and to be completely honest i did see a level of nastiness coming from shawols this time around that i hadn't seen in a long long time. the accounts with the more inflammatory tweets seem to have either deleted or gone private for now except for this one: https://twitter.com/arcticminkey/status/1628075402156552215 / https://twitter.com/arcticminkey/status/1628111485078470678 ("didn't even change the spelling" 😭 of a four-letter word?!)

those tweets in particular annoyed me because they use the same rhetoric armys love to use (and which i loathe) – accusing other artists of "ripping off" their faves instead of acknowledging their autonomy, creativity and even humanity.

now i don't know if sm fans were already on edge because of the sm/hybe acquisition (understandably) and decided to take their frustration out on this – or if it was because the shinee plagiarism series holds a special meaning for many people – i think all of those things combined + the usual fan war logic might explain the overreaction. but yeah, i don't think shawols were all that innocent this time around. there WERE a lot of nice shawols who also shut that shit down fast, as expected, but i thought the loud minority was loud and especially nasty.

obviously armys were ten times as vile in response – WAY disproportionate, like you said, and like it tends to be. they make not knowing anything about kpop their personality and then have the nerve to call artists "flops" when they don't know them. just absolute fucking twats. lol if i may.

(apparently some of the louder elements on the shawol side turned out to be ex-armys, which sort of supports a pattern i have been noticing for a while. armys are fucking annoying and call these people "leftovers", acting like they hold a grudge against bts specifically, but – to me at least – the issue is that while they move away from bts they do not unlearn the superiority complex, bullishness, and overall nastiness that they practiced as armys, and bring it with them wherever they go. genuinely when i say armys have made fan culture worse as a whole i mean it. this is based on my impression of things and not any hard data though lol so i concede i might be way off.)

anyway! the whole thing was ridiculous. any plagiarism accusations over common phrases are ridiculous. i concur with the last anon who is asking for jimin on nolto. MAXIMISING THEIR JOINT SLAY etc.

also re: shinee contracts: if i'm not mistaken their contract extensions are usually 3 years long. they renewed their original 7-year contract in 2015 for 3 more years, then again in 2018 for 3 more years. contracts are frozen during enlistment, so if my calculations are correct they should be renegotiating fairly soon, once taemin is out. not sure what that means in the grand scheme of the hybe/sm takeover but i believe that's the timeline. (i agree with your take on the situation btw – i really don't think groups and solo artists like shinee will be affected creatively, and they'll retain their usual freedom in that regard, but i do worry that if hybe stays obsessed with targeting the US then artists who are "only" popular domestically might see their promotional activities take a backseat. i hope i'm wrong. we'll see!)

sorry this was so long! appreciate your blog :)

Hi! Thank you for sending this in for more balance.

I have that account on mute, which is why I never saw that crap. And I'll be controversial (but also agree with you) - ex army are spreading gross behaviours. But shippers are also at the route of a lot of shitty behaviour. I say that as someone who likes shipping for fun so I see it. I've seen a lot of weird stuff from MinKey shippers in the last year. And no surprise the account you mention is in that category. Other ship accounts are problematic too but MinKeyers have been the worst lately. They just get way too comfortable speaking on things they shouldn't. They had a whole thing about MinKey bringing gay marriage to Korea.... yeah. Read that again. If you're a fan of Key or SHINee, it should be pretty fucking obvious why that's a really bizarre and just grossly insensitive way to go.

But anyway. There will always be nastiness and as SHINee World keeps growing, it will be harder to keep up our behaviour standards. But I think we have to. The fact that most people deleted is positive. Minho said we're a reflection of them so I hope shawols will keep taking that seriously.

Thanks for your Ask!

[skzhocomments]

The Boundless Sphere of Fate - Lee Taemin - Chapter 4 - Making up

General masterlist

Story masterlist - please consult it for the summary of the story, trigger warnings etc.

Wattpad + AO3

Chapter 3 | Chapter 5 (coming soon)

---

Chapter 4 - Making up

word count: ~1.6k words

That’s how Blair’s nightmare started. 

Taemin is apparently a king at holding grudges once someone gets on his nerves, so he does exactly that. When his spiritual energy is highest, at exactly 3:30 a.m., he causes all sorts of mischief around the house to surprise Blair in the morning. From misplacing random objects, like the sugar cup since Blair loves drinking her coffee with wayyy too much sugar, to hiding her shoes so she’d be late for work, or tying her shoelaces to make her trip, he makes it his day-to-day mission to mess with her. Her reactions are truly the funniest.

Once Blair realises his antics and stops giving him the reaction he’s expecting, he decides that his revenge is not enough. He starts going to her room and wakes her up in the middle of the night, without fail, messing with her sleep schedule as well.

He finds it fun, and laughs at her, and she cusses him out, and somehow two weeks have passed and Blair starts regretting buying this house and getting stuck with a naughty ghost like Taemin.

“You look like you haven’t gotten any sleep in weeks.” Brian tries to joke, but immediately stops laughing once he notices she doesn’t find it funny.

“I haven’t.” She replies blankly.

“Oh, no… insomnia?”

“Yeah, something like that…” She mutters.

“No worries, we’re gonna drown ourselves in alcohol and you’ll sleep like a baby tonight.”

“Is it ‘Friday. In two weeks.’ already?” She asks, and hopes it’s not, because she’s really tired and not in the mood to see her coworker any longer than she must.

Should she just get a hotel or something? Have a good night's sleep?

Go to a priest and attempt to exorcise that little mischievous shit?

“Yes, it’s that Friday. I’m done with work, so I’ll go wait for you in the downstairs café.”

“Okay.” Blair sighs, but a promise is a promise.

~

Five hours and way too many drinks later, Blair stumbles into her house with Brian’s lips latched onto hers. She misses the lock three times with her back pressed against the door and him kissing her passionately, and she almost trips when taking off her shoes and guiding him into her bedroom.

“Fuck, babe.” He mutters when she takes off her top. She doesn’t necessarily like him, but she really needs to get a release. She helps him out of his shirt as well.

Brian moves to her skirt and takes it off, admiring her lacy underwear, then immediately goes on top of her and starts grinding against her pussy. Blair moans in his mouth and helps him out of his pants as well, and when he finally, after what feels like forever after edging her with all the grinding, he moves her underwear to the side to stick his dick in her, she notices Taemin next to the bed grinning at her.

“Having fun?” He asks, grinning from ear to ear.

Right above Brian’s head floats a heavy book. Blair’s eyes go big.

“NO! YOU FUCKER! ENOUGH!” She starts screaming, weeks of pent-up annoyance finally shining through. “WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!”

Brian jumps from on top of her and looks at her worried. His head missed the book by a centimetre, but Taemin makes it disappear back on the shelf quickly, before Brian notices it.

“Blair…? Is everything okay?”

The girl doesn’t even hear him, as she sees Taemin’s unwavering smile that simply pisses her off.

“GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY ROOM, YOU CREEP!” She screams again, and Brian starts shaking, immediately starting to collect his discarded clothes. He runs out the door moments later, completely ignoring Blair’s attempts to explain she wasn’t in fact talking to him, but how would she actually explain she was talking to a ghost?!

~

Brian is now long gone as Blair is stressing her brains out thinking of an explanation. She is so embarrassed and has no idea how she’s going to face Brian on Monday. What a bad idea this night was.

“You, sit down.” She enters the living room and commands Taemin, who does so, amused.

“Oh, you’re wearing clothes again.” He says, but Blair ignores his witty remark.

“Okay, this is not working out.” She finally says after a while.

“Mad after you cockblocked that dude?”

“I cockblocked that dude?! You came into my room when we wanted to have sex!”

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?! Get out of my room, you creep!” Taemin imitates Blair and bursts out laughing. “Poor dude didn’t even get the chance to put it in before you started screaming.”

“It’s not funny!” Blair stands up annoyed and groans.

“Ohh but it is. You should’ve seen his face! He was sooo shocked. He didn’t know you’re batshit crazy.”

“I’m not batshit crazy!”

“You screamed at him at the top of your lungs, though.”

“No. I screamed at you.” Her face contorts with anger. “It’s not my fault I fucking see ghosts, okay?!” She retorts, annoyed. Everyone thought she was crazy, and it’s super frustrating to have the reason for your misfortune, a ghost, remind you of it every chance he gets.

~ 19 years in the past~

“Could you tell me more about this man you’ve been seeing?” A polished woman with an immaculate white coat asked, peeking at Blair under her square glasses. She was a blonde, very tall woman, who looked very intimidating to the little girl.

“… no.” Blair shook her head.

“Are you seeing him now?”

“NO!” The 5-year-old girl shouted. It was the 10th time this past year doctors asked her this. She hated going to the hospital. “The man is only in daycare! He is an electrician!”

“Is he now?” The woman smiled. “What is he wearing?”

“I told you! A blue uniform!”

“I see.” The woman nodded. “So, when did you start seeing him, sweetie?”

“3 months ago. Right after winter.”

“Can you also hear his voice?” The psychiatrist inquired further.

“I talk to him all the time, but the kids there say they can’t see him! I don’t know how. He’s so big! Like this!” The girl got up from the chair and jumped in the air with her arms held high above her head, trying to show the doctor how tall the man was.

Her mother shook her head behind the girl.

“Since when has she been seeing things?” The doctor asked the mom.

“Since always… she keeps telling me about this man, or about the old woman at the pastry shop, she would also randomly point out on the street and mumble disturbing things about people that aren’t there… I’m at my wits end, I don’t understand what’s wrong with this child.”

“Hm.” The doctor nodded. “This sounds like a case of childhood-onset schizophrenia. This is extremely rare, though. I’ve never seen such a young child have it…”

“What can we do about it? Can we give her some pills?!”

“I’m not sure medication is the best course of action at her age. We should observe her more carefully. Go to reception and get her hospitalised for now.”

~

Blair was taken to a room with only a bed and a small wardrobe. Everything was white, and blinding. She hated it.

She wanted to go home.

“Okay, you’re going to stay here until they figure out what’s wrong with you. Got that?” Her mom spoke coldly, already with her foot out the door.

“Mommy, can I please have my pink plushie? I promise I won’t get him dirty.”

“If I remember to bring it tomorrow.” Her mother shrugged. “Anything else?”

“Can you stay with me?” The little girl asked, hopeful.

“Of course not. Where would I sleep?” Her mom rolled her eyes. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Okay mommy. I love you.”

Without saying anything back, her mother left the room.

She didn’t come back for a whole agonising week, where Blair got asked countless questions.

The doctors didn’t know what was wrong, why she saw people, but since she wasn’t able to see anyone or hear any voices while being hospitalised, they let her go back home.

~

~present day~

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry.” Taemin raises his hands in the air in fake-defence and chuckles. “Don’t be so angry. I’m just messing with you.”

“You’ve been messing with me for two weeks, Taemin.”

“Damn, has it already been two weeks? I haven’t noticed.”

“Don’t play innocent.”

“I’m not. Just, genuinely, time passes by a bit differently when you’re a ghost, you know?”

Blair looks at him dead in the eyes, then sighs.

“I can’t keep being your source of entertainment just because I upset you two weeks ago.”

“You didn’t upset me.”

“Liar.”

“Fine, I’m lying. I was pretty upset. You did react a bit too extremely to my harmless pranks though.”

“Yea, the lack of sleep is kinda getting to me, Taemin. The least you could’ve done was let me get laid. I’m tired, cranky and horny. It’s a fatal combo.” She complains, then, as she hears herself speak, she kinda starts chuckling as well. It sounds so ridiculous, she can’t help it, and Taemin joins in with her.

“Friends again?” Taemin hands her a hand, and she decides to fake-shake it.

“Friends again.”

“Should we go watch some Netflix?” Taemin suggests.

“Yeah, you go do that, and I’m gonna go use one of those things on my nightstand.”

“EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.”

“Don’t be dramatic.” She rolls her eyes. “It’s your fault I didn’t have sex.”

“I saved you the embarrassment, that dude was ugly.”

“Shut up.” Blair jokes, then starts laughing. He is kinda right. Brian is not the best looking man, and she wasn’t particularly attracted to him, so she wasn’t really upset.

“Okay, okay, go have fun with your little big toys and I’ll be here when you’re done.”

“Oh wow, a few minutes of silence?!” Blair squirms with happiness. “VIBRATOR, I’M COMING!”

“Gross.” Taemin chuckles and watches Blair shut the door to her room.

---

Chapter 3 | Chapter 5 (coming soon)

[taem-min-archived]

Ink heart || o.sh

PAIRING || Sehun x female reader

GENRES || Horror, angst, yandere (?)

SUMMARY || You were his forever, by blood and ink.

WARNINGS || mentions of blood, yandere behavior, Sehun being delusional in love, character death, mentions of accident

A/N || Yes, this is my fifth draft but hey at least I like this version better. Big thanks to @shining-prism and @a--pl​ for helping me so much with the initial ones.

WC || 0.5K

TAGGING || @exoxobsession @cerisetalks @iminchaosnow @shrutiajit @woo-minhee02 @buttvi @xavi-in-kpopland @whatudoing @spacebyuns @midnightmoi

EVENT || Part of the Suit a Lyric event by @houseofincantations​ thank you for letting me take part!

PROMPTS || Yes I took many- But hey some of these are my most favourite songs like i hate u, i love u, be alright and Paris in the rain.

17."I remember how you looked like at the end. The memory haunts me, as if you're mocking me. You're like a shadow." -Taemin, Shadow

11."Anywhere with you feels like Paris in the rain."- LAUV, Paris in the rain

33."Even though I see you every day you're still pretty and I love it" -Rose, D.O

41. “I’ll search the universe until I can find you again.” - EXO, Universe

54."The universe has moved for us" - BTS, serendipity

9."How is it you never notice, that you are slowly killing me." / "You want her, you need her. And I'll never be her." - Gnash, Olivia O'Brien- i hate you, i love you

16.“You took all of me and left.” - Taeyeon, 11:11

41."I know you love her, but it's over, mate, it doesn't matter, put the phone away."- Dean Lewis, Be alright

6."You'll never know the psychopath sitting next to you."- Twenty One Pilots, Heathens

11."Even the veil that hides the smile inside the glass mask is lost." -Taemin, Advice

13."I'm the only one in your arms forever." -Dreamcatcher, BEcause

“I’ll search the universe until I can find you again.”

The single tear drop fell from his eyes, dampening her skin once more. He hiccupped as he wiped it away, trying to swallow in the pain.

But it was too much for him to bear, too much for his heart to take. He could feel himself breaking under the pain as he raised the pen to ink another line on the skin.

“Baby, you took all of me and left."

The nib of the pen dug into the skin, breaking it until the blood oozed out of it. Sighing with satisfaction, he began carving his name with the new red ink.

Sehun wanted to remember her in every way possible, and he wanted her to remember every aspect of him. 

When she first died, his friends had told him that what he was doing was wrong, that he had to move on.

“I know you love her, but it's over.” Chanyeol had said, but he shook his head in disagreement. Chanyeol wouldn’t understand. He was never in love with her.

Sehun couldn’t, and wouldn’t move on from her. 

“The universe has moved for us." He muttered, staring at his artwork as he had carved his name on the skin with blood. It looked perfect, like now they were tied to each other forever.

It had been almost a month since she left, but he was glad that he could still see her everyday. Everyday he could see her pretty face, her soft features and bathe in her former love.

"Even though I see you every day you're still pretty and I love it" He muttered, running his hands over her ruined skin.

He clearly remembered the day she had died, the way her body was after the car had crashed into her. Covered with blood and bent in odd angles. He had nearly killed the driver in rage.

Here she was crossing the street to meet him, and here a drunk driver rammed his vehicle right into her in a red light.

I remember how you looked like at the end. The memory haunts me, as if you're mocking me. You're like a shadow. 

That’s what she had become for him.

A shadow.

He cradled her body closer to him, trying to capture her long gone body heat.

 "I'm the only one in your arms forever."

He smiled at her, but of course she didn’t return the smile. Frowning at her expressionless face, he forced her lips into a smile and then smiled at the memory. Deep down he knew that even the veil that hid the smile inside the glass mask was lost, and yet this was more than enough for him.

He only had simple wishes in life, and one of them was visiting Paris with her. But it didn’t matter anymore. 

“Anywhere with you feels like Paris in the rain." he muttered, running his hand gently over her carved skin.

He stared at his masterpiece with great satisfaction. All over her body he had marked his name, making her his forever.

Now she was always his, by blood and ink.

A/N: Please do tell me what you think about this story!! I worked really hard on it and I would love to know everyone’s thoughts on it~ Comments and reblogs are appreciated!

[junjungsunwoo]

Storm.

Eric Sohn X reader, angst, 0.636k.

A/N: a small Drabble as my finals are rolling in tomorrow so I won’t be able to post much, wish me luck everyone! (Let’s hope I don’t die)

Thanks to @stealanity for beta-reading <3

-> main masterlist | the boyz masterlist

Dear Eric Sohn,

To me…you were like a storm.

You came whenever you wanted and left when you felt like it.

You clouded me with the false illusions of love and rained false comfort all over me when I needed it most.

But…you were like the sun once.

You shined bright and lit whatever room you were in with your smile and energy. Even if I tried I couldn’t take my eyes off of you, that was the power you held over me,

And when you smiled, you always somehow become even brighter.

Then, you became like a cloud.

You somehow became so transparent with your emotions. I felt one of a kind whenever I figured out the emotions you held in your eyes and I felt special…like… I was special to you.

I felt so…euphoric whenever you’d smile at me and say ‘thank you’ for cheering you up whenever you looked down. I felt so happy…so so happy to just even see you smile at me.

But then you became like a rain cloud.

You were no longer as transparent as you used to be, and you hid your emotions and played everything off with a smile. Everytime you were with me, your smile would look so…so unnatural, like you were trying not to show what you were really thinking and feeling underneath your eyes.

Finally…you rained.

You rained and poured these overwhelming amounts of emotions on me when you told me that you no longer felt the same as I did— no longer feeling the love we used to share when you shined like the sun.

You left me a mess. Like a small flower on the side of a street that was stomped and jumped on. Like a puddle of rainwater dirtied with mud splashed into it…like a girl… who was left in the open with no one to shield her from the cold, merciless rain.

And then…you were gone.

Like a storm, you entered my life and made a mess. You rained and poured your emotions all over me and left when you were done. You brought me out of my shadows with your bright smile and you used me as your bucket to catch your emotions.

And I feel so stupid to realize it now,

But from the very start, it has always been like this hasn’t it?

Whenever you needed me, all you had to do was call and I’d be right over like a dog. But whenever I need you, you never pick up. And even if you do, all you ever say was that I should deal with it myself.

But now that you are gone, I feel like the world is alright again. After the storm passes, there is always a sun waiting behind the dark clouds and a rainbow waiting to show itself.

Now that you, the storm has passed. I finally found myself another sun. Someone, that has been waiting for me behind you, someone I never noticed that has always been there for me. And finally, I feel like I can see the rainbow.

I guess I should say thank you? But really, should I say thank you?

Because of you, I smiled. You showed me all the things I wanted under a false light and gave me a fake, temporary happiness.

Because of you, I cried. You left me in the aftermath of you passing by, and you made me lose myself in the process too.

But, it was also because of you that I’ve found my happiness now, so I guess I should thank you right?

Thanks Eric Sohn, for being the storm that passed by in my life. Thanks for not staying long enough to drown me in your fake smiles.

And thanks…for being my sun once.

From,

L/N Y/N.

Taglist: @hello-yav @sunfics @yourjaylaks @studioreader @karsohn @zvae @stealanity @lilyujin @chareadingpurposes @erodemyedges @taemin-jaemin @symoneismeh

Ask to be in my taglist: here!

Networks: @tbznetwork @deobiwritersnet @theb-hive @kpclub @ultkpopnetwork @ficscafe @k-library

@ junjungsunwoo, all rights reserved.

[blu-joons]

You’re With Them When Don’t Call Me Wins ~ SHINee Reaction

Onew:

A pair of arms wrapped around your waist, taking you by surprise as you flew in the air. “We did it,” Jinki chuckled from behind you.

Once you were back on the ground, you spun around to meet his eyes. “You’re definitely back,” you grinned, pressing a kiss against his lips.

His head nodded back at you, “I can’t believe we won, there’s so many amazing artists there today.”

“But none of them are SHINee!”

“That’s true,” he blushed.

Your eyes looked down to notice Jinki holding the trophy tightly in his hand. “I bet it feels strange to be holding one of them again after so many years, all the designs have changed.”

His head shook, smiling across at you, “it actually just feels like I’ve never let the trophy go, does that even make any sense?”

“I get it,” you quickly assured him, “performing and winning is all you’ve ever really known, it’s bound to feel natural.”

His eyes flickered down to the trophy too, “I guess right now I’m just really thankful that the fans haven’t forgotten about us.”

“If there’s one thing I’ve learnt about SHINee, it’s that you’re very much unforgettable!”

Key:

His eyes lit up as soon as he walked towards you, keeping the trophy behind his back as you approached him. “It’s my trophy!”

Your eyes rolled, trying to reach around his back to hold it, but Kibum kept it well hidden. “I just want to have a look; I’m not going to steal it.”

His head shook with a wide smile back at you, “it’s our first one in a while, so I’m keeping it safe.”

“You want it all to yourself then?”

“Well…” he stuttered.

Your head shook, pushing gently against his arm, “someone will eventually realise that the trophy has gone missing, and you’re terrible at keeping a straight face, you’ll give the game away.”

“How dare you think so lowly of me,” he groaned, turning away from your gaze. “I was going to ask you to help me hide it, but I think I’ve changed my mind.”

“Kibum, this is a group trophy,” you scolded, “you can’t keep it for yourself and not tell the rest of the boys you’ve taken it.”

His eyebrows raised back at you, “if it wasn’t for my ending fairies then I don’t think we would have won, so I deserve this more than anyone.”

“Sure, it was your ending fairies that somehow managed to get you the win…”

Minho:

Your eyes scanned around the room, noticing Minho sat down in the corner of the dressing room by himself. “You alright?” You asked.

His eyes looked up as soon as you approached him and took a seat beside him. “It’s just a little overwhelming right now to be back.2

Your hand rested gently against his thigh, “it’s been a slight crazy couple of months with coming back.”

“It still feels like I’m in the military sometimes.”

“That’s natural,” you assured.

His head tilted down to rest against his shoulder, “you see so many groups that come back from the military and things aren’t the same, and yet for us, it just feels like nothing has changed.”

“That should tell you how incredible you are,” you tried to comfort him, “your fans have stuck around for a reason Minho.”

His head nodded at your words, “I never imagined that so quickly after discharge all of this would happen, and we’d do so well.”

“It was never in doubt for me,” you chuckled, brushing your hand through his red hair, “I always knew that you guys would smash it.”

“I don’t think I’d be able to be where I am if it wasn’t for your support.”

Taemin:

You could hear a heavy sigh come from him as soon as he slung his arms around your shoulders. “It’s nice to be able to win as a group again.”

Your head nodded in agreement, scanning around the busy dressing room once again. “It’s nice to see all four of you back on the stage and winning.”

His lips pressed to the top of your head, “it’s a lot less lonely doing an encore with them around too.”

“It’s probably a lot more chaotic though.”

“It is,” he laughed.

Your eyes flickered up to meet his, brushing his hair away from his face, “I can see how happy you are to be back with the group again, I know how much this all means to you as well.”

“Going solo was always my dream,” he mused, “but SHINee is my roots, to still be going after all this time means the world.”

Your smile grew as his eyes drifted across to look at the Music Bank trophy. “How many of them do you reckon you’ll end up with?”

“I don’t care how many we end up with, just being able to release music again is enough,” he spoke up, “we’re doing all of this for the fans.”

“And as a fan, let me tell you, we’re all pleased that SHINee is back once again.”

---

Masterlist

[romanceboys]

(interview) w korea september issue 2020 — reptile

1. i was surprised to learn that this is your 13th year since debut. within a company, the years almost reflect the experience of a vice department head. that’s right. though there are things i’m seeing for the first time at this point, i think there’s a lot that has remained the same. shall i tell you something funny? early in the year, i transformed into my debut appearance from when i was 16 with a bowl haircut and had my picture taken. i put it up on instagram and as i watched my fans briefly mistake it for an old picture, i thought to myself ‘well at least my face hasn’t aged much yet.’ haha. 2. today, i get to meet one of the personalities i’ve been very curious about personally. how should i put it, you seem like a person who possesses a perfect narrative. oh my, thank you. 3. maturing steadily after debuting with shinee in middle school, you broke away from your image as the group’s youngest and instead donned the clothes of a solo musician. all 5 of your solo albums have been recorded as hits. now you are a member of superm that has gone global. even a narrative within a coming-of-age novel could not be as sturdy as this.  when i look back on my life, i find it quite fascinating. i entered the company at the age of 13, and this year i turned 28. i’ve lived half of my life as a singer, i realise this when i think ‘i’ve run along the same path for a long time’. i think... i’ve been very greedy. it was through this greed that i was able to debut in a team called shinee, and consequently receive solo plans. once, producer lee sooman told me to bring him a recording of any pop song. wondering ‘what’s going on?’ i prepared for it and submitted, and soon after my solo album was released. thinking back, it must’ve been a test. i felt a sense of accomplishment in these things. that too very deeply, of course luck was on my side too. 4. a methodical company like sm couldn’t have proposed a solo career so lightly. there were a couple of tell-tale signs as far as i could tell. my singing parts were little during debut. after all taemin had the image of the one in charge of dancing. then my parts started to increase gradually, this could’ve been one of the signs. back in the day i used to stay back in the practice room till dawn. the employees working late would see me and the word probably went around. they must have felt sorry for me. a skinny boy practising by himself till dawn (laughs). 5. were you the type to stay back later than the rest in the practice room? i would go to the practice room as soon as we wrapped up our schedule. i’d practice till sunrise then return to the dorm and prepare for the next schedule immediately, i spent a long time doing this. 6. it was at the time of ‘sherlock’ in 2012 that your stage presence started to shine in shinee’s stages. thereafter, it seemed that you enjoyed your time on stage thoroughly. when did you begin to realise that only you were in command of your own stage? there were a couple of times... sherlock was one of them. sherlock was an album that came out when i was 20, right after becoming an adult, it was then my attitude towards performance changed. in those days i challenged myself to ‘not to do what was expected/fixed.’ usually our gestures at certain sections of the song are fixed beforehand, from sherlock onwards however i tried my hand at different things without reserve. it was my way of approaching the audience with sincerity, and my way of improving in the future. back then i would notice variations (in my performance) everyday when i monitored myself. 7. frankly, isn’t it difficult for someone to have made such a prominent leap? i think it might have been because of the long hiatus before sherlock. i was able to prepare well so my growth was likely more obvious when i stood on stage after a long time. how should i put it, my members were very stimulating for me. since the hyungs aren’t ordinary people (laughs). this is something i’m confident about, even if you say that most of the shinee members are main vocalists, none of us is inferior to the other, everyone is so talented. with these thoughts verbatim ‘i must survive in here,’ ‘i need to finish what i started,’ i practiced. i couldn’t not have made the leap with such stimulation and not to mention my greedy nature (laughs). spending time together with the members made me realise that we started to resemble each other in some aspects, thanks to them i was able to broaden my perspective and become aware of my undiscovered talents. 8. the prologue single ‘2 kids’ of your third album ‘never gonna dance again’ released in august. as i was listening to the song, i suddenly became curious about the lyricist and looked them up. my impression was that the language of the lyrics was raw and honest. the lyricist turned out to be you. my intention was to include everyday, colloquial speech. i’ve written poetic and abstract lyrics before, but while working on ‘2 kids’ i wanted the listeners to easily grasp the emotions at once. since i’ve released many songs like ‘danger’ with vivid concepts and sensual performances, i expected there to be some distance between me and the public. i found that i shouldn’t stray too far. in any case, i’m a pop singer. i thought to myself let’s meet the public halfway, and the result was the lyrics for ‘2 kids.’ it’s the brightest of all my title tracks (laughs). 9. i find two interesting points here. first, you are completely aware of your identity as a pop singer, second, to do that you work hard to keep close to the public. of course there are times when it doesn’t work out (laughs). for instance, when we’re deciding on the title track for a shinee album, my opinions always diverge from the members’. after listening to our fourth album title track ‘view,’ i said ‘no way, it can never be this!’ (laughs). what i’m after is, how shall i put it... there is a side to me that wants to experience things profoundly. for example, if i were to express love, instead of depicting it one-dimensionally, i’d prefer to do it maniacally. i like taking it one step further to appear twisted.  10. that’s amusing. it’s probably because i’ve seen your easy-going appearance on tv a lot, i would have never guessed for you to approach things ‘deeply’. profound people tend to be like that. ‘multi’ people are able to do several things at once, i can’t do that. i have to dig into things deeply at a time. that’s why when my members and i receive the same schedule notice, i’m the only one who always forgets it (laughs). 11. oho, this makes me curious about your taste in pop culture.  i really like the british drama <black mirror>. i get hooked on the unusual. like mind-boggling things? i used to watch movies that weren’t popular because such movies are less likely to repeat contents that have already been consumed. but then i slowly began to enjoy light films as well. these days i leave a movie running in the background while i do other things. back when i would look for an independent film or thriller of my liking, i’d get extremely exhausted after watching it. they require so much focus that they sap my energy. 12. we were talking about lyrics but somehow ended up here (laughs). if you were given the opportunity to write lyrics again, what kind of story do you want the lyrics to convey? i like philosophical lyrics. for instance, a song called ‘soldier’ from my solo album deals with religious content, it varies from time to time of course but well if i were to write again... i think about this a lot these days. i want to change myself, i want to shake off my image uptil now and be reborn again. 13. why is that? i want a colour that is more concentrated and unique. as if i'm debuting again, i want to show something completely new that i had not before. 14. but aren’t your comebacks always novel? a musician like you who does diverse and experimental concepts is rare. is that so? sure the concepts are always new but... these days i think about how i want to change myself as a person from the very inside. instead of putting a facade on display, i have a thirst for wanting to show a more humane, genuine appearance. all humans experience moments of weakness and dysfunction. i think these moments definitely hold some beauty in them. the moment a person breaks down. it’s the only way one can get up and overcome difficulties again, i believe showing these sides of me, all of me, unabashedly is a path i need to walk as an artist now. 15. honestly, i’m excited for your third album because i heard this album reflects your ideas the most. what aspects of the production were different this time? firstly, i personally cast and liaised with the music video director. i thought it was important to work with the director one-on-one by keeping mediators to a minimum. through several meetings we mulled over every single thing like concept, outfit, hair and makeup. i offered my opinions too: ‘because i’m thinking of leaving a connecting link in the prologue, since there are two albums that would release following ‘2 kids,’ i want to drop certain keywords in the music video.’ fans usually call this a ‘bait’ (laughs). 16. the choreography stood out the most in the ‘2 kids’ music video. you weren’t simply moving to the rhythm, rather weren’t you moving your body guided by emotions? actually there were barely any plans to include dancing scenes. but i thought you never know so i quickly prepared a choreography the day before i left for paris. initially, i had a ‘dramatised’ (borrowing elements from drama) choreography in mind, but the director was expecting something modern. in the end, we expressed it well with a choreography that the director and i came up with after finding the perfect common ground. 17. personally i think a dramatised choreography would have been quite alright because ‘2 kids’ is a universal love song. i told the director i wanted to look miserable and pathetic through and through, like falling into a bottomless pit, wrecked, to be found waking up in the middle of the street, that would do too. why did i want to be that wrecked? i don’t know. there’s just a lot that exists within me. and i might have wanted to express that.... 18. with your first solo mini album <ace> you proved your grit as a solo musician to the public, and i believe your second album <move> reified your colour. i think taemin is a musician who doesn’t need to prove himself anymore. having reached this status, you’re releasing your next album <never gonna dance again>. did you ever think that this album could be it? rather, i hope that this album can be my ‘turning point.’ just as how it was during sherlock, i hope this time it changes my identity completely, as an individual and as a performer. people might like this album or find it mediocre, but i try not to care about these things now. 19. were you the type to stress over feedback? yes. because there are many people who are uncomfortable with change. but then i realised we’d never be able to free ourselves from within if we continued to be tied down. so now i’m trying to notice these things less. 20. have you ever had this thought? that looking back, the experimental has always revolved around you. as i said before, i think there is a lot of something within me (laughs). people have recognized that, there’s a lot i want to do. there is a greed for wanting to be different from others. it’s not that i want to ‘appear’ different but truly be different. 21. do you think there is an aspect of you that others can’t follow? i can’t seem to figure it out. i’m looking for it. however, my satisfaction level with myself tends to be low. and it’s something that has been guiding me till now. 22. what helps you recharge the most? i like lower-body bathing so much (laughs). as soon as i get into the bath, i automatically end up going ‘euu’ ‘aah.’ i soak my body completely, light up a scented candle, then let my body warm up like this. 23. while watching your vlog-like youtube content taem-log, i wondered ‘does he have an affinity for household goods?’ since the camera often captured your surroundings, i noticed pretty glasses and a colourful coffee machine adorning your cupboard. not at all. my mother did all of that (laughs). she’d say ‘this would suit taemin~’ then set it up prettily for display on the shelves. sometimes i do think i’d like to furnish my house with antiques if i were to move in the future. this is a bit funny but i find the houses in old horror movies so pretty. 24. i saw a bottle of moët & chandon in your refrigerator, is champagne your regular choice of alcohol? i rarely drink. i usually receive gifted alcohol quite a lot, it all goes to my father (laughs). my mother brought the moët & chandon and left it in there. i asked her to leave a pretty bottle in there at least for decoration purposes, so she probably brought it just for that? (laughs). 25. what kind of a person is 28-year-old taemin? i sort of want to set things ablaze. i want to put up a spectacular finale of the opening act. 26. how do you want to be remembered as a musician? as a great person. i say this knowing it sounds a bit grandiose but it’s my mission.  27. i can see it. the bigger you become the larger the impact you can have on society. i will become that person. so that many people can hear the message i want to convey.

translated by romanceboys — take out with full credit (source)

[katrinawritesthings]

Jonghyun / Taemin; bridging parallels ; nc17

jonghyun and taemin live in the apartments across from each other and jonghyun has been watching taemin climb out of his window and sneak out of the house several times a week for years ever since they were both in high school

for summer of shinee 2021 : )

Him and Taemin text still. Not often, and when they do, it's never really a full conversation. Mostly just memes shared at 2 in the morning, small talk, happy birthdays. Look at that dog texted fervently at 7 p.m. On a Thursday dragging one of them at light speed to their window to obey. Taemin makes his way into one of Jonghyun's articles again, this time a little spotlight of his work as a choreographer for an entire show.

Jonghyun has known Taemin since they were kids. Apartment neighbors, kind of. Jonghyun is 408, Taemin is 718. The way the apartments are set up, Jonghyun can sit at his bedroom window, look outside, and see Taemin's bedroom window across the way and one floor down. They go to elementary school together, then middle school, and then high school. They have one or two classes together over the years. None of that really matters because they never really talk.

What was the homework texted here, our mutual friend both invited us to the same party there, look at that dog shouted into the space between their windows at 7 p.m. On a Thursday one time in 8th grade. Whatever.

Even when Taemin starts sneaking out at night, the summer after sophomore year, 15 years old, it doesn't magically make them have a speaking relationship. All it does is distract Jonghyun as he's sitting at his window sill, scented candle lit, summer reading program report under his hands. Distracts him and makes him drop his pencil four floors into the bushes that line the building.

He doesn't watch it long enough to see it hit the ground. He's far too interested in watching whatever the fuck Taemin thinks he's doing. He's clambering out of his window, his third-story window, nothing but a concrete drop below him, and then he's actually climbing up, up the wall, up the building, up three floors until he's hauling himself up onto the roof.

When Taemin makes it up there, he rolls out of view over the ledge, but then his head pops back over. He looks all the way down, and even from far away, Jonghyun can see the huge smile spread over his face. His hands slap excitedly on the ledge before he stands up, turns, and disappears again as he jogs away, the high kick of his ankle behind him as he stumbles a step the last thing that Jonghyun sees of him.

Until he sees him sneaking out again the next night.

It doesn't become a nightly thing, but it is still regular enough that, every night when he's at his window sill with a candle and some writing, he’ll glance up at any movement he sees across the way just in case. It doesn't stop when school starts back up again, either. Sometimes Jonghyun will watch Taemin clamber out of his window, up the building, and disappear on the roof one night and then watch him sleeping on the bus the next morning, wondering how many hours he actually got. Sometimes he'll be up late enough to watch Taemin sneak back in, a descent three floors down from the roof that stops Jonghyun's heart every time.

School goes on. Jonghyun takes storytelling electives; music, ceramics, creative writing, art. He reads comic books, watches anime, looks up walkthroughs of video games that he can't play himself. He gets detention one time for being late and a kid sitting next to him offers him some weed, which he tries but doesn't really like, but that kid helps him through some spontaneous crying a few weeks later so they become pretty close and he winds up being the designated driver to a bunch of stoners. His dad moves out, his sister moves out, his sister moves back in. He picks up a part-time job at a music store during his senior year to help with the bills.

He sees Taemin around every now and again. They have ceramics together, for one. Taemin sits at another table with his own group of friends, but he smiles and says hey to Jonghyun when they wind up in the glazing room together. He comes into Jonghyun's job sometimes, looking over new album releases and buying everything a particular band puts out.

Jonghyun sees Taemin dancing during school pep rallies, assemblies, during rehearsals and the big night for a talent show they're both in where Jonghyun almost cries on stage because he's so nervous to be playing one of his own self written songs in front of people. He cries backstage instead and they still don't talk, but Taemin offers him a quick hug as they pass, hand rubbing over his back, and then he's gone before Jonghyun even really realized he was there in the first place. Later that night, Taemin sneaks out and then back in again within an hour.

And that night is also the first night that Taemin notices Jonghyun watching him. It’s just as he’s putting his hands on his windowsill to hoist himself up that he hesitates and, for a reason that Jonghyun can't come up with, looks directly across the way at Jonghyun.

He jumps when he sees Jonghyun, like he's startled; Jonghyun waves, a little confused, a little amused. Taemin looks down, covering what has to be an embarrassed smile with his hand.then Taemin looks up, waves back, and clambers out of his window and up the wall like usual. After he reaches the top, he peeks his head over the edge for the first time since that first night. Jonghyun leans just a little bit out of his window to smile and wave again. Even with all of the distance between them, Jonghyun can see the flash of his smile as Taemin taps two fingers to his temple and flicks them off in a salute.

From that night on, everytime that Taemin sneaks out, they wave at each other.

They graduate; Jonghyun with okay grades and Taemin with probably the same. Jonghyun doesn't go to college or anything. He upgrades his job at the music store to full time and does some freelance work online writing articles about art events and festivals in the area while he tries to work on his own stories in his free time. Taemin doesn't leave town either, because he still climbs out of his window and disappears over the roof on a regular basis. It's not until Taemin comes into the music store one time to buy a new CD and Jonghyun recognizes the logo on his hoodie as belonging to the local dance theater that he figures out what Taemin has been up to lately.

And it's not until they happen to both wind up in the little corner store down the street from their apartment complex at the same time that they have their first real conversation.

Jonghyun is there because he wanted snacks and his sister wanted snacks and he lost the rock paper scissors to decide who would go out and get some. Taemin is apparently there to buy some booze because he's standing in front of all of the refrigerators and contemplating the selection when Jonghyun opens one next to him to grab a couple bottles of soda.

"Oh, sorry," Taemin says, glancing at him and stepping a little bit away, and then, brighter, "oh, hey Jonghyun."

"Hey," Jonghyun says back, pleasantly surprised to recognize him. "Party?" he asks, nodding at all of the liquor. Taemin shakes his head, tells Jonghyun that he's just looking for something fun and fruity to enjoy by himself in his room sometimes. For self-care, he says. Jonghyun tells him he gets that and taps the glass in front of one of his favorite fruity boozy drinks in recommendation. Taemin shrugs and takes his word, opening the refrigerator and pulling out the bottle without even really looking at the label or anything on it. Then, after a moment's hesitation, asks, "how old are you again?"

"20," Jonghyun tells him, smiling a little sheepishly. "Maybe I ask my sister to buy me alcohol. Don't tell anyone."

And Taemin's response to that is a snort, a broad grin, and a hand slipping into his back pocket and pulling out his wallet. "As long as you don't tell anyone about this," he says as he pulls out his ID card from its clear plastic flap, slots it in with all his other cards, pulls out a different ID card, and puts that in the flap.

The blunt casualness of that whole exchange surprises a laugh out of Jonghyun, one that sounds loud in the quiet little store. He doesn't try to stifle it; has never really tried to stifle his laughter. Still chuckling, he offers up his pinky to Taemin to promise. Taemin looks at him, looks at his pinky, covers his mouth and nose with the back of his hand for a moment, then links their pinkies together.

Taemin buys his alcohol and leaves the store before Jonghyun finishes picking up all of his snacks, but he sees Taemin ahead on the sidewalk on the way back and jogs to catch up with him.

"Don't go climbing out of your window after you drink any of that," he says, worried halfway through the sentence that maybe he's overstepping but finishing anyway. Taemin does that thing again, where he looks down and rubs his nose, and is the first one to offer up his pinky this time.

Taemin picks up a fashion for denim-on-denim, leather, spikes. Dark clothes, baggy hoodies, lots of rings. Beanies, worn-out shoes. Jonghyun attaches himself to big comfy sweaters, turtlenecks, bracelets cinching over the sleeves. Ripped jeans, snapbacks, boots. Taemin lets his hair grow out until it fans out around his face, soft and wavy, then cuts it short into a choppy bowl cut and a crisp undercut. Jonghyun tries out an undercut too, finds he likes it, experiments with dying his hair every couple of months. Taemin has some new piercings–shark bites, cheek studs, spikes through his ears. Jonghyun has some new tattoos–words on his arms, permanent bracelets around his wrists, planets on his side, a starscape on his back.

Jonghyun starts teaching guitar lessons at the music store to kids on the weekends. His mom gets promoted at her job. They stop struggling as much, settle into something almost resembling financial security. He keeps freelancing and in one of his articles he writes about a culture show the dance theater is putting on. In the picture that runs with the article, Taemin is standing on the end, smiling with his arm around a fellow dancer, doing a victory sign for the camera.

There's a queer club down the street from the music store that Jonghyun goes to sometimes. He makes new friends, has a couple of casual hookups, has a cute girlfriend for a while but things don't really work out. It's fine between them after. Taemin almost has a cute date friend one time, but that doesn't work out either. Jonghyun knows this because he watches the whole thing happen from his window sill.

He's there, writing notebook under his hands, scented candle next to his elbow, just like every night, and Taemin is suddenly there on the roof. Except, for once, he's not alone. Someone else is with him. A little taller, thick dark hair spilling out of a pulled up hoodie, and that's about all Jonghyun can see of them. The pair of them sit down on the ledge, feet dangling over nothing, close enough that their shoulders almost brush every so often.

Jonghyun doesn't mean to snoop, or eavesdrop, or anything. Taemin's love life is his own business. It's interesting, yeah, to watch them stargazing and talking together, but Jonghyun really is only glancing up at them every couple of minutes to distract his brain a little bit so he can focus on his writing without getting distracted a lot by something else. And it just so happens, that during one of those glances, Taemin tries to make his move.

It's not much of a move; a purposeful bump of their shoulders, a rub of his nose with the back of his hand, something said to make them look at him directly. More quiet words, a leaning in–not all the way, but enough to be clear–a tilt of his head like he's asking a question, and then.

And then. The other person leaning back, shaking their head, covering their mouth with both hands. Quickly they reach for Taemin's hand, holding it tight as they speak earnestly, as Taemin nods up and down and tugs his hair at the back of his head where they can't see.

They sit together for a little while longer after that, but a barely perceptible distance apart now, enough space that they don't accidentally bump shoulders anymore. Then the other person stands up, starts to walk away. Taemin turns and takes their hand, carefully, asks them something that they nod in agreement to. Taemin drops their hand, flops his own hands into his lap. The other person walks away, and then a minute later, Taemin falls back, sprawls himself out over the roof until all Jonghyun can see are his legs still dangling. They kick in the air for a few seconds before flopping limply back down in defeat.

Jonghyun looks back to his writing with a shake of his head. Poor baby.

He doesn't see Taemin sneak out for a couple of weeks after that. Then, another night, another candle, another page of writing, he glances up and finds Taemin sitting at his window, arms crossed on the windowsill, face nestled in his elbow, cheek smushed up as he pouts out at nothing. Jonghyun can't help it; he smiles at the image.

"Hey sorry about your heartbreak dude" is what he texts to Taemin once he finds his number buried in all of his contacts, an entry probably put in during high school for some project that neither of them remember. And then he just watches, waits, until Taemin leans away from his window. A moment later, Taemin returns, and this time he's holding his phone and looking up at Jonghyun. Jonghyun waves with an apologetic little shrug.

"Damn you saw that??? " Taemin texts back. Jonghyun replies that he did indeed see it and offers more condolences. Taemin's sigh is audible to Jonghyun even from so far away, but he replies anyway. They talk about nothing, really; Taemin asks what Jonghyun is always writing about and Jonghyun tells him. His book that he's been working on for a while. The one where he wanted to write a love story but wound up accidentally writing a breakup scene in the first chapter and then just went with it. Taemin seems to take some comfort in hearing about a failed romance.

The night after that, Taemin climbs out of his window again.

Him and Taemin text still. Not often, and when they do, it's never really a full conversation. Mostly just memes shared at 2 in the morning, small talk, happy birthdays. Look at that dog texted fervently at 7 p.m. On a Thursday dragging one of them at light speed to their window to obey. Taemin makes his way into one of Jonghyun's articles again, this time a little spotlight of his work as a choreographer for an entire show.

Jonghyun's manager gets fired for tax evasion or some bullshit and suddenly he finds himself as the manager instead. Not because he's super qualified for the job, but because he's worked there for the longest, almost 11 years, and the rest of the employees are mostly part-time high school kids. All of a sudden he has all of these duties and responsibilities that he doesn't know what to do with, on top of dealing with the mess that his old boss left him with. The first thing he does is give himself and all of the employees a raise, which at first gets him a serious reprimand from upper management of the store chain, but he doesn't give a shit and the next month he gets praised for reducing customer service complaints and boosting product sales.

One night Taemin comes into the music store to buy a new album from his favorite band a couple weeks later than Jonghyun was expecting him to. Usually he shows up on day one; when Jonghyun mentions that to him, he rubs his nose with the back of his hand and shrugs, mumbling something about a giveaway online and shipping problems. Jonghyun chuckles at that, mentions that the cardboard stand that they have in the store to promote the album is free for him to take, if he wants it. He's the manager. He can do that now.

Taemin's eyes widen behind his bangs, his teeth flash in a huge smile. He thanks Jonghyun emphatically, grabs the stand, and walks out with it, holding it in front of him as he goes and biting his lip.

Jonghyun finds himself thinking about that later in bed. Taemin’s teeth biting into his bottom lip. Digging into soft, plush pink. He looked different today. Something about his face, his nose. A nose job, Jonghyun guesses, something to change the tip of his nose from a cute soft hook to a cute round end. He dropped his shark bite piercings at some point and replaced them with studs. two silver squares on each side of his bottom lip, matching the ones that dimple his cheeks, the sets that outline the tips of his eyebrows. Matching the ones lined up below his collar bones. Jonghyun could see those in the dip of his v-neck.

The piercings won't leave his mind as he tries to fall asleep. Heavy silver, bold, striking, a statement of toughness outlining his delicate features. Jonghyun wonders how they feel, if he ran his fingers over them would they be cold or would they have absorbed Taemin’s body heat. He makes the mistake of wondering if Taemin has matching studs on his hips and realizes with a start that he's running his fingers over his own lips, imagining how it would feel if he were to drag his mouth over them.

Face hot, lips tingling, Jonghyun rolls over in bed and tries to think of anything else.

It works. For a little bit. Until the next day when he waves at Taemin as he heads out for the night. Then he's thinking about them again. Then he's thinking about what kind of noises Taemin would make if Jonghyun kissed his piercings. About how much deeper, huskier Taemin's voice sounded in the store. It had to have been that deep the last time they talked, the last time Taemin came in to buy an album, but–if it was, Jonghyun doesn't remember noticing or caring as much as he does now.

This new realization has him trying with all his heart to think about himself, what it means that he's gone his whole life without knowing that he had a thing for piercings, what it means if it's not the piercings and it's just Taemin, what it means if he suddenly starts lusting over the boy next door.

This lasts for about two more days until he gets tired of it and decides to just do something about it.

So the next time he catches Taemin about to climb out of his window a little bit after midnight, he waves frantically to get his attention. Taemin stops, looks at him, smiles, waves back. Jonghyun beckons towards him, trying to communicate that he wants him to come over without shouting. Taemin points at himself then over up at Jonghyun, tilting his head; Jonghyun nods eagerly, beckoning again. Without a moment of hesitation this time, Taemin nods and holds up one finger.

He climbs up his building, and then instead of disappearing away from Jonghyun, he walks along the edge. Jonghyun leans a little bit out of his window to watch him all the way down to where the parallel lines of their apartment buildings turn into a U for him to cross, until he gets too close to Jonghyun's side to see anymore. Then, a minute later, there's a crunch of shoe against brick outside his window. He moves his tealight candle out of the way and Taemin slips into his room feet first.

"Hey," he says. "What's up? Can I smell?"

A finger with chipped black nail polish touches next to Jonghyun's tiny candle. He has studs on the backs of his wrists too. Jonghyun lets him smell with a warning to be careful not to spill it, and then tries to figure out a way to say what he wants to say tactfully. He didn't think this part through. It's not really his style to come up with detailed plans, just to try things out and see if they work. Finally, after a bunch of starts and stops, half asked questions, an exasperated sigh, he just says, "do you want to make out?"

And in the silence after the question, in the dim light of his desk lamp, Taemin's tongue wets his lips.

"Sure," he says.

Nice.

Sure turns into Taemin in Jonghyun's lap, turns into Jonghyun gliding his thumb over the studs under Taemin's lip, turns into Taemin cupping his face and pressing their mouths together. Kissing turns into Jonghyun's hands sliding up under his shirt, turns into Taemin groaning the hottest noise Jonghyun has ever heard into his mouth, turns into him standing with his sweater half way over his head frantically whispering to Taemin that his bed is too squeaky and his family is trying to sleep.

He takes Taemin to the floor, sits on his hips and grinds down while Taemin fumbles with his own belt buckle, hands bumping Jonghyun's cock through his pajama pants. Jonghyun hadn't meant for this to happen, wasn't planning on fucking Taemin, but he doesn't want to stop.Taemin doesn't either, says god no when Jonghyun asks and that's enough of a reason to Jonghyun to keep going. He's pushing Taemin's shirt up while Taemin is trying to reach up onto his bed for a pillow, and it's rushed and it's messy, but Jonghyun discovers that Taemin not only has studs along the V of his but also one over his belly button, bars through his nipples, and, best of all, when he pulls Taemin's pants down, four of us small silver balls like an X around the head of his cock.

Lube from his desk, three fingers deep into his own ass, thumb tracing over every piercing on Taemin's hips, so hard it hurts, almost delirious with want, Jonghyun barely hears Taemin when he says, "I've always thought you were cute."

The piercings in his collar bones glint in the light, his skin glistens with summer sweat, the sharp angle of his jawline, the shadow of his adam's apple bobbing in his throat, the raw edge on his voice as he says, "I've always liked you, ever since we were kids, I've always–I don't know when it turned into a crush, but I–god that feels so good. Oh my fucking god." Halfway down Taemin's cock, Taemin grabs Jonghyun's hips and pulls him down all the way, knocks the breath from his lungs. "Jonghyun," he says, "more."

Jonghyun gives him more until he can't anymore, until his thighs are burning and his arms are trembling. Taemin removes the effort for him by turning them around until he's on his back. Taemin fucks him like that, tries to kiss him more but quickly gives up and buries his face in Jonghyun's neck instead. With "you're perfect, you're perfect, you're so fucking perfect, " breathed under his ear, Jonghyun hooks his leg around Taemin's back, pulls him in harder, faster, whispers his own pleads back, begs Taemin to bite him, bite his neck.

Taemin bites him, hard, and that's how he comes, body frozen underneath him until he goes all the way limp, only barely registering in some faraway part of his brain Taemin's choked breaths and the warmth pooling inside of him. He's weak, hazy, loopy, giggling, and Taemin's gentle hands are on him again, picking him up, putting him on his knees, and Jonghyun is glad to obey, glad to do whatever the fuck when he's this blissed-out.

Quiet curses as hands smooth over his back, the softest "oh, wow," whispered as fingers trace his constellations, and then the deepest groan as Taemin's tongue touches his skin. Jonghyun's eyes fly open, his voice rises three octaves, he slaps both hands over his mouth to stifle the noises he's making, noises he’s never made before in his life. The moment that he realizes that Taemin has a tongue stud is the moment that everything goes white, and then the next moment, everything goes dark.

The next morning he wakes up alone, in his bed, pajama pants back on, candle burned all the way down to nothing, window closed. He's not angry, or hurt, but he is a little grumpy all day long until he walks up to the entrance of the apartment complex after work and Taemin is sitting on one of the big potted plants outside the door.

He stands up when Jonghyun gets close to him, presses a large jar candle of the scent from last night into his hands, and, blinking a mile a minute, blurts out, "hey, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for last night when I told you I was in love with you and then fucked you and then panicked and left," to which Jonghyun, baffled, wracking his memory, replies, "did you tell me you're in love with me?"

Which kicks Taemin's blinking into overdrive, starts up a long, stammering babble that Jonghyun can confidently say he understands about 20% of. After a minute he realizes that Taemin isn't going to stop, so he interrupts him by asking, "Taemin, do you want to go on a date?"

A few days later, they share a mountain of fries on an outside table at some burger joint. Taemin, embarrassed, reading notes from his phone, admits that he's had a crush on Jonghyun for what feels like forever but was always too shy and infatuated to make a move. Jonghyun, embarrassed, scratching the back of his head, admits that he just got suddenly horny for the piercings one day and was a little too impulsive in making his move. Both of them, laughing, agree that it would probably be nice to work towards a middle ground together.

And it is.

[a-milky-strawberry]

SHINee Reaction - When You’re Pregnant

Minho:

The moment you announced your pregnancy he was ecstatic. However, with that happiness came overwhelming protection. Even though you were only 2 months pregnant and could still do a lot, Minho followed you everywhere and handled you like you were an egg.

When you two started dating, the both of you bonded over the same thing: Exercise. A few of your dates even took place at the gym! As unorthodox as it sounded to your friends, it made you two closer.

He thought he didn’t  have to worry so much about the exercise part of your pregnancy until he came home one afternoon and saw you roughly playing soccer with Taemin. The term ‘roughly’ might be exaggerated because you weren’t doing anything dangerous. Just a little hard defense and you skidded only once to score a goal. In any case, Minho was not happy.

“Yah! What’re you doing?!”

Y/N: “Don’t worry! I always play sports with Taemin like this. It’s good exercise for when you’re away.”

His eyes softened and he breathed a sigh of relief. He held you tightly and kissed your sweaty forehead.

“Wait for me next time, okay? We’ll work out together and do something safer.

Key:

He’ll never admit it, but he bawled his eyes out when he found you were pregnant. A sense of joy and pride washed over him when you told him over dinner. A mini sassy, sarcastic, fashionista. That’s what he wanted. Whether your child was a boy or girl, they’d have a fashion sense and a mouth on them. Sometimes you wonder if they’ll be able to behave in school with Key’s attitude and your stubbornness. It would only take a miracle.

While pregnant you’ve noticed your strong craving for sweets has tripled. Normally, you could eat half a pint of ice cream and a bag of candy and be full. Nowadays, you’d be working on your third pint of favorite ice cream and second bag of gummy bears. 

This was a big no-no for Key. 

“YAH! YAH! YAH!”

He came into the living room and saw you eating cookie dough ice cream. He snatched it away from you and you gave him a pout while whining and making grabby hands like a child who got their toy taken away. He sent you a soft glare and huffed.

“You can’t be eating this stuff anymore! It’s not healthy for the baby!”

You pouted and huffed. He knew you could help your cravings, but the face you were making was too cute. He sighed and kissed your lips lovingly.

“I’ll make you something healthy and yummy, arasso?”

Jonghyun:

You actually didn’t tell Jonghyun. He found your positive pregnancy test in the trash and when you came home from work and confirmed, he was jumping for joy. You’d never seen him so smiley. Jonghyun wasn’t nearly as protective as Minho or health conscious like Key. Yes, he wanted you to be healthy for the baby but he was whipped hard when you started showing. Anything you wanted he got for you. Ice cream at 3 a.m.? Sure. Pizza with pineapple, black olives, and jalapeños? Oh hell yeah, baby! Let’s try new things! A specific piece of candy you haven’t eaten since you were five? Sounds yummy! A new BMW? Anything for his baby.

If anything Jonghyun just didn’t want you to move. Needed to do laundry? Nope, sorry. Wash the dishes? Might burn yourself. Cook? Might cut yourself. You’ve told him that he didn’t need to do everything for you and even though you were 6 months pregnant you could still vacuum the house. He always brushed you off saying that queens don’t have to lift a finger. Especially a pregnant queen.

You two were sitting on the couch watching The Lion King when someone knocks on your door. You guys had ordered pizza about 45 minutes ago and you were starving. As you were about to get up, Jonghyun’s hand rested your stomach making you stop. He gave you a warm smile.

“Don’t strain yourself. I’ll get it.”

He got up and grabbed your wallet as you nestled back down into your spot on the couch. He came back a few minutes later with two pizza boxes in his hands.

Y/N: “Y’know, I could’ve got it.”

The door’s too far away. Plus, these pizza boxes are hot. I don’t want you burning yourself.

You playfully roll your eyes and smile. If you had to deal with this until the end of your pregnancy then you were glad it was Jonghyun.

“Now, which one do you want first: bacon, ham, chicken, and green bell peppers with chili paste or kimchi, bulgogi, tomato and horseradish sauce?”

Taemin:

You two actually found out together. He drove you to the hospital because you thought you had food poisoning. Turns out, you were 4 months pregnant! Taemin was silent for a while but erupted into sheer happiness. Jumping all around the doctor’s office and smothering your face in kisses. Nothing could calm him down and who could blame him. The youngest of the his friends and he was going to start a family! 

Taemin immediately jumped on buying clothes and toys for the baby and deciding on furniture and if you were going with a theme. He wants his child to have everything. He also picked up on the little things that bothered you. Like if your feet were hurting or if he heard you in the bathroom with your head in the toilet, he’s always there. 

You were cooking dinner when your back started to ache. You would rub the sore part and it would be fine for a while, but then it would ache again and even more. You didn’t want to bother Taemin with something so minor as a sore back and you’d have to get used to it another 3-4 months, so you tried your best to ignore it.

You felt hands cradled your stomach as Taemin approached you from behind. You jumped a little but relaxed when you saw his smiling features. He kissed your temple and rubbed your belly.

“Let me finish up, okay? You go rest.”

Onew:

There’s a reason why he has a condition named after him. This man is clum-sy! Of course he was grinning ear to ear when you told him you were pregnant, but that didn’t stop him from worrying his head off. What if he accidentally hurt you or your bump? What if he tripped and fell on you? What if he dropped his newborn?! Thoughts and worries clouded his mind over a few days. But, you assured him that he would never do that and it was all in his head. You were 6 months pregnant and he treated you like you were made of glass. He put your shoes on for you. He helped you sit down gently on the couch and helped you stand back up. He always made sure you were standing the farthest away from the sidewalk and would block any cyclist or skateboarders passing by. He even blew on your ramen and fed you.

You didn’t mind any of things he did. You thought it was adorable.

You had recently started taking walks around the city. Not only for exercise, but to clear your mind and it was a great way to calm your baby. Onew had taken notice of your routine and had invited himself on your daily walk.

You take a walk around the neighborhood, city, or the nearest park. You chose to talk a walk in the park just to see nature and not just city living. Plus, it was also a chance to give Onew a break on nearly tackling any cyclist than came your way.

“Are you okay? Do you need to take a break?”

He noticed you two have been walking for a while now. Almost an hour.

Y/N: No, I’m fine. This like 1/5th of my walk. I walk much further than this. It settles the baby down and the quiet helps me think.”

“Jinja?!”

Onew stared at you wide-eyed. 1/5th?! Come to think of it, he did start to notice that you would be gone for a while, but he also assumed that you’d take the car so you wouldn’t have to walk all the way back home. He carressed your belly and kissed your cheek.

“Don’t strain yourself, arasso? Let’s take a ten minute break on that bench over there.”

[wronqness99]

Noona, I Love You

> About my writing

Genre: Comedy, fluff

Word Count: 1.5K+

Characters: Lee Taemin (SHINee) X Female Reader

*The image doesn’t belong to me, credits to the owner.*

Y/N and KiBum had been friends their whole lives, since their parents had gone to school together from an early age and their mothers had even been pregnant at the same time. Consequently they, too, had gone to school together and accompanied each other through every important step of life.

Their childhood and teenage years had been spent together, so it didn't come as a surprise when they converged their career paths so they could continue to be there for each other.

After some discussions and a bit of convincing, Key successfully got his best friend to major in career management and as soon as she graduated, Y/N already had a spot waiting for her at SM Entertainment as Key's manager, which enabled the woman not only to continue walking her path alongside her best friend but also to connect with new people who made her feel welcome and accepted.

Kibum felt delighted that he would be able to spend more time with his childhood friend. Now, instead of his schedule dictating when they could see each other, it would be her controlling his schedule which not only enabled her to spend more time with her friend but also to take better care of him, since she always thought he overworked himself too much.

Her friend, however, was not the only person to feel happy and excited about SM's new addition. Taemin had found himself extremely pleased by the woman's presence. He was glad there was someone able to understand his hyung the way she did and the way he couldn't seem to.

Taemin began to grow fond of the woman since Kibum had first presented her to the band and so he did everything in his power to get her to notice him, sometimes even going to extremes not knowing he already had her attention as well.

Y/N loved being around the boys and would step up and help with the other member's agendas whenever they needed to whether it was because of an overflowing amount of work or because their managers were on holiday or got sick.

This last one was actually the occasion that had brought her closer to the younger one. Being asked to step up and manage both Kibum and Taemin since his manager had gone skiing during his vacation and ended up falling pretty badly, resulting in a broken leg. Y/N had immediately said yes, never expecting the crazy amount of events Taemin had been invited to that she would have to try and fit into his agenda.

Taemin saw as the girl sighed, finally getting done with the agenda organization for the maknae, having called him over to decide which one of the three overlapping events he would like to attend. Seeing how tired she looked he walked overt ot her silently, placing his hands on her shoulders and beginning a massage. The girl jumped, startled but once she realized who it was, she allowed herself to close her eyes, sighing in relaxation as she melted into his warm touch.

"Is it a lot of work, noona?" He questioned, fingers moving vigorously against her shoulders. "I'm sorry for putting this burden on you. I don't like seeing you like this."

"It's fine Taem, it's not your fault, the agency asked me I wasn't forced into it. Also, I feel much more relieved that this task was given to me, someone who you already know and are comfortable with. At least I know things will be done well." She stated as she grabbed her pen to finish his schedule. "So, do you want to make a guest appearance on The Return Of Superman, I Can See Your Voice or Knowing Brothers along with Ten, Taeyong and Jongin?"

"Uhm... Last one." He replied, waiting for her to put her pen down. He turned her chair around, making her face him as he crouched down in front of his temporary manager. His eyes ran over her features, his heart beating faster as he memorized each one of them.

"Don't look at me like that," She barely whispered holding his gaze as he stared right into her eyes. He crooked his head to the side, a smirk taking over his lips.

"Why not?"

"Because it makes me want to do things I shouldn't." She replied honestly, leaving him baffled.

"You know we're both legal adults, right? We can do whatever we please."

"No. We work together, you're my best friend's band member. It would be unprofessional if something happened between us." She stated.

"So you've liked me back all this time?" He chuckled, getting up and leaning over her chair, their faces merely inches apart. She placed her hand on his cheek, caressing it lovingly in a silent answer.

"I thought you were ignoring me because you didn't feel anything for me..."

"I was just trying to be rational. It would be very unprofessional of me, I might lose my job and I am scared of how the others would react..." She confided.

"It can be just us. I mean, at least for now." He stated, stealing a small smile from her. Her eyes darted towards his plump lips, making her bite her own.

"Can I kiss you?" She questioned in a small voice. He smiled brightly, his being filled with happiness.

"You don't even need to ask." The dancer replied before attaching their lips in a passionate kiss.

This was how their relationship began. Y/N found herself loving the way Taemin would sometimes get shy and the way he faked his innocence, always being cut off by Key, who would always tell him the way it was and put the boy in his place which annoyed the youngest but amazed the woman to no end.

While helping SHINee get ready to attend an award show to which they had been nominated and were invited to perform at, Y/N walked into the closet area, finding a shirtless and confused Taemin looking for his outfit. The girl chuckled and touched his shoulder making the boy jump in surprise as she got his attention. Reaching for the white flannel and the midnight blue blazer, she extended the clothing items in his direction, noticing just how red the boy's ears had gotten.

"Is this what you were looking for?" She questioned amused.

"Hum, y-yeah, thank you!"

"Is Lee Taemin acting shy in front of me all of a sudden?" She sniggered, holding onto his shoulders as he pulled her body towards his by the waist.

"Why would I feel shy around my girlfriend?" He whispered seductively on her ear, making her skin erupt into goosebumps. His lips attached to her neck making her eyes shot back open.

"Taemin, no! What if someone comes in?" She reasoned, trying to get him off of her.

"Doesn't that sound exciting?" He stated as he nibbled on her ear. Not waiting to hear another word, before she tried to reason again, he glued his lips to hers hungrily, feeling her hands push him away within a couple of seconds.

"No. No, no, no, no. This isn't the time or place, control yourself Jung Y/N". The girl repeated to herself as she patted her cheeks before walking out of the room and leaving the man alone to get ready. He chuckled in amusement as he crossed his arms, watching her walk away.

"And she said I was the shy one!" He laughed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a couple of months of successfully hiding their relationship, they felt like they were getting pros at it and even defied each other sometimes. Well, mostly Taemin.

The youngest man walked into the meeting room where Kibum and Y/N were planning and discussing the male's schedule for his upcoming solo comeback over a warm cup of tea.

"Hello, beautiful." He chirped happily as walked over to the seat beside Y/N's.

"Taemin-ah, how have you been?" Questioned Kibum, while playing with his phone.

"Oh, hello to you, too, hyung." He provoked, making the older one give him a dirty look.

"Well, let's take a small break. I'll go drink my tea elsewhere and allow the two of you to kiss all you want and still pretend the whole agency doesn't know you two are a thing for months now while still letting you think you're fooling us all. Be right back." Kibum spoke naturally, getting up from his seat with his tea in hands and leaving the meeting room right after, leaving his two friends flabbergasted.

"What just happened?" Y/N questioned burying her head in her hands while allowing a laugh to escape her lips.

"Well, it seems like everyone knows so we can finally have public displays of affection wherever and whenever we please! How cool, I don't have to hold back anymore!" He chimed cheerfully and got up from the chair, making his way out of the room.

"Noona, I love you!" Taemin screamed for everyone to hear, making her run out of the room and cover his mouth, pulling him back inside.

Y/N smiled shyly and hit his shoulder in embarrassment. The man pulled his girlfriend in and she allowed herself to melt into his hug, feeling the reverberation of his melodic laugh and his inebriating scent fill her lungs.

And at that moment Y/N was sure that she would never trade his arms for anything, anywhere or anyone elses.

MASTERLIST

[https-atz]

ethereal — ltm (m).

summary: you had been a trainee at sm entertainment for all but two months when, in the most cliche fashion, you spilled your coffee on lee taemin. immediately the two of you hit it off and started dating. when he brings you into his dorm for the first time, things get heated.

warnings: smut, oral (female receiving), handjob, slight thigh riding, virgin!reader, softdom!taemin, slight mention of eating disorders, and cute shit

a/n: so like, this is based off of my exo 9th/13th member story on wattpad, and i don’t stan shinee, so i apologise if any characters in the story are unrealistic to their personality… i just had my oc’s first love be taemin. finally, this is my second time writing smut, and the longest on i have written. ion even have experience in this shit yet here we are. you’ve been warned.

“Come on,” he whispered, grabbing your hand.

It was almost midnight, and the halls of SM were empty, other than the two of you. You had just finished up practicing when your boyfriend appeared out of nowhere. The two of you had been dating for nearly seven months, and so far you had been pretty successful keeping your relationship a secret. If someone were to find out, it could mean the end of Taemin’s career and you being kicked out before you had the chance to debut. Neither of you wanted that, yet you couldn’t seem to keep away from each other.

“Where are we going?” You whispered quietly, holding back a giggle as he lead you down the halls. Your Korean had gotten substantially better, thanks to Taemin and your own hard hours of studying, and it was something you were quite proud of.

“It’s a secret,” he replied over his shoulder, a playful smirk on his beautiful lips. You bit your own to hold back a smile.

The two of you arrived in front of a door. Taemin released your hand to shuffle around in the pocket of his gray sweatpants for a few moments as you watched him, somewhat confused. His face lit up suddenly, and he pulled something out with a triumphant grin.

Keys, you realised. This was his dorm.

You nervously grabbed his arm before he could put them in the door. He halted his movements, turning to look at you as if you were his world. Your face turned red as you stumbled over your words, but finally managed to get something that you hoped sounded like: “What about your Hyungs?”

Taemin gave you an amused smile, hand brushing against your cheek. You couldn’t help but lean into him, craving his touch. “They are all currently going to dinner at some bar. I told them I already ate, which is true, as I heated up some leftover noodles earlier.”

“Oh,” you stated dumbly, not knowing what else to say.

Your boyfriend chuckled, his hand leaving your cheek as he turned away. Taemin unlocked the door, and allowed you to enter first.

You couldn’t help but gasp.

“It’s so big,” you said with wide, admiring eyes.

He rose his eyebrows at this. “Big? Is yours not the same size?”

You looked at him incredulously, giving a somewhat sarcastic laugh. “Our entire dorm is the size of this room alone.” Taemin didn’t seem too pleased with that, but didn’t voice his opinion.

“Would you like a water?”

At the mention of water, you suddenly noticed how scratchy your throat felt. So, you nodded vigorously. “Yes, please.”

When he was gone, you took it upon yourself to sit down on the couch in front of you. You glanced down at the white coffee table, noticing the small piece of paper lying untouched. It had been written on, though most of the words were scribbled out. Your eyebrows furrowed, wondering who wrote it.

You’re so pretty, don’t you know?

But ------ now you’re my girl.

You’re a flower with green leaves and raindrops.

I drink you in, feel you. But whatever I do, I’m still thirsty.

You jumped as Taemin appeared in front of you with a glass of water in his hand. “Here you go, pretty girl.”

Smiling gratefully, you took it from his hand. By the time you finished drinking, over half of the glass was emptied and your boyfriend had sat down next to you. You sighed as your throat cried out in relief, setting the glass down on the table. You looked at him, only to see him staring at you already. You swallowed, biting your lip. “Thank you.” You soon got distracted by the bookshelf to the right corner, on it standing one of your favorite books. The Little Mermaid, however unconventional, had been your favorite book ever since your baby sister died all those years ago. Only, it wasn’t the traditional disney fairytale, but the darker version of it.

You stood, ignoring the look of confusion your boyfriend gave you, and made your way over to the bookshelf. Standing on your tippy-toes, you reached up for the book, huffing when your fingers fell short. You heard Taemin chuckle from behind you.

“You’re so short, it’s adorable.”

“I’m only four inches shorter than you,” you rolled your eyes playfully, despite knowing he couldn’t see it. “Besides, I’ll grow,” you added, defensively.

“Doubt it,” Taemin muttered. You went to throw him a glare over your shoulder, but your breath hitched in your throat, suddenly feeling the need to drink the rest of your water.

Your boyfriend had leaned back on the couch, arms on either side of him. His legs were spread, almost lazily, and you couldn’t help but wonder how good his thighs would feel against your core. You couldn’t stop the small noise that escaped the back of your throat.

When his lips quirked upwards, you turned back around, hiding your heated face.

“W-Why do you have The Little Mermaid?” You asked in a small voice, trying to distract yourself from your dirty thoughts.

“Jonghyun-hyung’s older sister got me into it.”

You gasped as his lips grazed the back of your ear and his arms wrapped around your midriff. A shiver ran through your body as his fingers traced along your skin, before he pulled away to turn you around. You stared up at him, swallowing nervously. His lips were positioned in a soft smile, but his eyes were portraying something else. They were dark, gleaming like a starved lion.

“What?” You whispered, voice small. You were afraid if you talked any louder your voice would crack. “She likes this stuff?”

Taemin nodded, beginning to back you up against the wall.

“Sodam-noona loved fairy tales as a kid according to Jonghyun, but the darker versions make her nostalgic.”

Your back was fully pressed against the wall at this point, your boyfriend staring down at you with his arms next to your head. You remained silent this time, unable to form words. He cocked his head to the side slightly, as if he was waiting for something. It was then that you realised that he was waiting for your permission.

“Please kiss me,” you whimpered.

Within seconds, his lips were pressed against yours. He started slow, something you always adored about him. Taemin was never one to force, or to pressure. He let you go at your own pace, only doing things that you were comfortable with.

It was you who made it heat up when your tongue swiped against his lower lip in a teasing manner. He growled lowly, suddenly lifting your thighs off of the ground. You couldn’t help but moan against his hungry lips, allowing his tongue to slip inside of your mouth.

You let out a startled gasp/moan (you honestly couldn’t tell the difference) when Taemin’s hips suddenly thrusted against your core. He pulled away with wide eyes, setting you gently back on the ground before backing up away from you.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry,” he frowned. “I didn’t mean to take it that far. Fuck.”

Taemin began turning away from you with his hands clenched tightly into fists, but you grabbed his arm before he could get too far. He stopped, watching as you gently pried his nails away from the palm of his hand and brought it to your lips. You kissed the front of his wrist, then his palm, then his knuckles; all of which were feather light. You heard him take a shaky breath, eyes closing for a moment before he fixed them on yours.

“It’s okay, Taem.” You said softly. “I want this. I want you.”

For a heartbeat, it was silent, but then he nodded slowly. You waited with baited breath as he stalked back towards you again, but didn’t hesitate to wrap your arms around his neck when his lips engulfed yours for the second time.

This kiss was hungrier, rougher, faster than the first one. It stole your breath yet gave you life. It made you want to push him away for air yet pull him even closer. Your hands crawled under his shirt, fingering at the indents of his abdomen and smiling when Taemin released a moan against your lips. His lips left you for a brief moment so you could rid him of his shirt, but as soon as it was off, they were back on yours, Taemin pressing himself against you.

“Jump,” he mumbled, and you immediately did as he asked. Your boyfriend caught you at the vertex, and you felt him start walking. You didn’t know where, and you didn’t care, you were too caught up in how good his skin felt against yours. Taemin carried you into what you assumed to be his bedroom (how embarrassing would it be if it wasn’t) and placed you gently on the bed, climbing on top of you.

Taemin kissed the corner of your lips, your jaw, and your throat. You whimpered as his tongue found a particularly sensitive spot at the base of your neck, tilting your head to give him better access. You felt him smirk against your skin as he nipped at you. He pulled back to look at you, a loving smile gracing his lips. You nearly moaned at the sight alone. God, you loved this man.

His fingers gripped at the bottom of your t-shirt, tracing your skin delicately and gently. He looked into your eyes again, making sure you were positive you wanted this. “Please,” you whimpered, lashes fluttering.

That was all it took for him to pull the shirt over your head, leaving you in only your sports bra. You mentally cursed at yourself for not wearing something sexier, but Taemin didn’t seem to mind. He kissed your lower stomach gently as he pulled your leggings down your legs. You sucked in a breath as you felt your stomach erupt with butterflies at the thought of being bare in front of him; in front of anyone for the first time.

Noticing your insecurity, Taemin pressed his lips against the top of your forehead. He didn’t say anything, and he didn’t have to. Just that had comforted you alone. He then kissed you on the nose, causing you to giggle and scrunch it up. Finally, your boyfriend pressed a kiss onto your lips as he lifted your bra up over your shoulders then over your head.

You resisted the urge to cover yourself as his eyes raked over you, before returning to your eyes. “You’re ethereal,” Taemin ran his thumb over your lips as you bite down on it gently, removing it from your teeth’s grasp. “And you’re mine.”

“I’m yours,” you smiled softly.

He returned it, before moving back down the bed. Taemin placed himself eye-level with your panty-covered cunt, glancing back up to see you watching him with hooded eyes. He kissed your inner thigh gently as his lips made their way toward your core, before he placed an open-mouthed kiss directly where your clit was covered with material. You moaned softly, feeling even more of your wetness pool out.

Taemin hooked his thumbs into the waistband of your plain black panties, pulling them down your legs in one fell swoop. He took your right foot in his hands, pushing it up in the air, and began trailing his lips down the inner portion of it. You shifted in anticipation as he grew closer to you heat, placing your leg to rest on his shoulder.

When your boyfriend’s lips wrapped around your clit, you couldn’t help but clench around nothing as you whined loudly. He sucked on it experimentally, gaging for your reaction as his tongue swirled around the rosey bud. Your mouth fell open and you threw your head back into the pillows, silently pleading him to do more.

Taemin hummed around your clit in amusement, the vibration sending shockwaves through your body. You released a cry as his tongue circled your little hole and suddenly pushed into it, unfamiliar with the delicious sensation.

“Oh, fuck,” you moaned. You could feel him smirk slightly against your heat.

Your fingers found their way into his hair, tugging as he tongued at your soaked cunt. He groaned against it, another shock of pleasure running through you.

“So sweet, Princess,” He moaned. Your boyfriend brought his thumb up to your clit and began rubbing in fast, methodical circles, perfectly in sync with the thrusts of his tongue into the wetness of your pussy.

A knot in your stomach forming told you you were getting close. It felt so good, much better than anything your own fingers could ever do for you. Your whines and moans of pleasure became more frequent and higher pitched as you got closer and closer to the edge. Taemin, noticing this, sped his administration's up to have you reach it sooner.

And reach it you did.

Your vision went black as your mouth fell open in a silent scream, your legs squeezing Taemin’s head as they shuddered delightfully. He rode you through the entire thing, flicks of his tongue sending waves of pleasure through you even after your vision returned to you.

“Okay?” He asked softly, pecking your lips lovingly.

You moaned lowly at the taste of yourself, nodding your head quickly. “Perfect.”

Taemin grinned, trailing his hand over the expanse of your bare body. The feather-light touches had you shivering in pleasure, and you moaned out his name. “Please. I want you, so, so bad.”

His breath hitched as he searched your eyes for any sign of hesitation or doubt, thumb pulling at your lower lip. You couldn’t help but pull it fully into your mouth, sucking on it gently.

“Fuck,” Taemin growled, unable to stop his hips from slightly thrusting his crotch against your thigh. Your eyes widened at how big he felt. “You drive me crazy, Princess.”

He pulled away from you so he could pull his sweatpants and boxers off, stepping out of them and leaving him bare before you. You sucked in a breath as you eyed his length, wondering how that thing could possibly fit into you.

Swallowing thickly, your nervous gaze returned to his eyes as he climbed back towards you, hand caressing your bright red cheeks. “Are you sure? I don’t want to seem like I’m forcing you to do anything with me here, love. I want this to be your choice.”

“Yes,” You answered, without hesitation. “I want it to be with you. Only you.”

A look of pure happiness spread across his godlike features, and Taemin pressed his lips to yours as he lined himself up with your core. His kiss was gentle, full of love, and you felt your eyes tear up with emotion.

“I love you,” You whispered, looking into his eyes as your boyfriend rested his forehead against yours.

“I love you,” Taemin whispered back, eyes shining.

He began pushing himself in, slowly. Your breath hitched at the uncomfortable feeling, though it was in no way painful as the girls in your dorm had told you it was. Taemin stilled as he bottomed out, and you knew it was taking everything in him not to start moving.

“You can move,” You said finally, breathless as you basked in the scent of him.

Taemin kept his eyes locked with yours as he began to pull out slowly. Once the tip of his length was the only thing left inside of you, he pushed himself back in with more force. You both moaned.

His thrusts were slow, the both of you wanting to savor this moment. It was passionate, heated, sweaty, the room filled with the sounds of your love making. It was as if there was nothing else that existed in the world, it was just the two of you. Forever. Nothing else mattered, but your love for each other; nothing else mattered but the feeling of his length moving inside of you, connected to each other.

You wrapped your legs tighter around his waist, moaning especially loud when he hit a certain spot inside of you.

“Taem, right there. So good. God, please don’t stop,” You whined.

“Youㅡ You’re so tight. Fuck,” He groaned against your lips, and you moaned breathlessly.

You felt yourself getting closer as his thrusts became faster, unable to stop your eyes from rolling into the back of your head in pleasure.

“Open your eyes, Princess. I want to watch you fall apart.”

It was hard, but you managed to meet Taemin’s eyes as he continued to fuck himself into you, pussy squelching each time he was all the way in. “Cum for me.”

Your vision went black, ears ringing and muscles spasming. You didn’t even know if you moaned as loud as you thought you did, but you wouldn’t be surprised if the dorms lined up in this hall could hear it. Taemin held onto you tightly, head falling to your neck as he continued to help you ride out your orgasm.

As soon as you came down, he pulled out. You frowned, reaching for him as he moved away from you. “You didn’t cum.”

He shook his head softly, brushing his hair out of his eyes. “It’s okay, love. This was all about you.”

Your eyes narrowed stubbornly, struggling to sit up and crawl towards him. Your boyfriend’s eyebrows rose as you straddled his thigh. “That’s not fair for you, and you know it.” You took his swollen cock in your hands and his nose flared as he inhaled sharply. You giggled slightly as you began to stroke him, slick with your juices. “Let me take care of you, baby.”

You kissed him deeply as you run your hand over the entirety of his length, swiping your thumb over his leaking slit. Taemin moaned against your lips, and you smiled, pulling away to kiss at his throat. You nibbled when you found his sweet spot, pulling at the skin of his neck as your moved your wrist in a wringing motion around his cock.

“Fuck, you’re going to kill me someday.”

You couldn’t help but smirk proudly as you pulled away from him slightly. You traced the dark veins of his cock, other hand gripping onto his thigh as you grind yourself down on the one you are sitting on. Taemin twitched in your hand, reaching up to grab your free hand and lace it with his.

Hot white strands of his cum shoot onto your hand and stomach as he lets his head fall into the crook of your neck, grunting loudly. You realise how sore you are already as he pants, hair falling in front of his eyes as he looks up at you.

“I love you.”

Taemin’s lips quirk upwards.

“I love you, too. Let me get you cleaned up.”

Knowing he wouldn’t take no for an answer, you nod, leaning back into his pillows. You close your eyes as you feel him leave, a large smile appearing on your lips. That was amazing, especially because it was with him. Your heart fluttered with giddiness and you resisted the urge to giggle happily.

Your eyes opened again as Taemin entered the room again with a wet wash rag in his hand. You watch him lovingly as he carefully cleans the remnants of both of your releases off your thighs and hand. When he is finished he leaves again, this time more briefly as soon as you are wrapped up in his arms, back against his stomach.

The two of you lay there in silence. It was in no way awkward, but instead it was comforting.

It’s broken by your stomach.

Taemin pulls away and you sigh, knowing the lecture that’s coming.

“When is the last time you ate?”

You turn so you are facing him.

“I had a banana this morning.”

Taemin frowns, shaking his head. “You can’t keep doing this, love. You need energy.”

You look down, knowing he’s right, but not wanting to agree. SM employees told you that you needed to slim down before you could debut, so you went on a diet. Normally you wouldn’t care, but this was your dream. To debut, to be an idol, admired by many.

“I’m going to go make you a sandwich. Please stay here and rest.”

You would’ve protested, but he quickly shuts you up with a kiss. You pout to yourself as your boyfriend leaves his bedroom. “No fair.”

Despite your annoyance, you can’t help another smile blossoming upon your lips. Lee Taemin was ethereal.

And he was yours, just as much as you were his.

[dubububbles]

SHINee scenario: their s/o falls asleep while waiting for them to finish work

(am i late to the request party? s/o fell asleep waiting for them to finish work. you are angel. sorry for bad english.)

Requested by anon

- you are an angel too 🥰 & as long as there’s no disclaimer in the bio / description requests are open 

Onew:

You and Onew had planned to have dinner together but that would be shattered when he sent you a text to let you know he would be working late. It made you frown, since you had looked forward to seeing him after a long day and now probably wouldn’t see him until the next morning. 

You would spend the rest of the night by yourself in bed, watching random shows and youtube videos on your laptop until you subconsciously fell asleep. 

The next morning you woke up with a content sigh, since the bed was warm and cozy due to your boyfriend's presence beside you. You didn’t hesitate to turn around and hug him tightly. It seemed to wake him up too, since he emitted a long breath and then loosely wrapped his arms around you. 

“I missed you.” you mumbled into his chest.

Those three words would perfectly sum up how you had been feeling and it would make him sigh and then tighten his grip on you, as a way to reassure you that he was there with you now. 

“I’m sorry y/n, recording took longer than planned yesterday and we went out to eat dinner afterwards.” 

You couldn’t help but scoff softly. “You said you would eat with me...” 

“That was before I knew I’d be late. Once we finished, I assumed you were already in bed, so I didn’t think it mattered if I came back a bit later.” As he spoke he gently rubbed circles on your back and then leaned in to place a few butterfly kisses on the exposed part of your neck and shoulder. “I’m sorry.” 

“If you’re sorry, you should spend the whole day with me to make up for it and then maybe I will forgive you.” you told him strictly but then smiled at the thought of spending the whole day just the two of you. 

Jonghyun:

After a busy day in the studio, Jonghyun checked his phone only to find a number of missed calls and messages from you. It worried him at first, until he noticed the time and realized he had finished a lot later than what he had told you he would. 

It made him feel a bit guilty to know he had left you hanging and also possibly worried you. He therefore tried to call at least a few times on his way back home but in vain. You didn’t answer and he could only assume it was because you were angry or disappointed with him. 

By then he was already thinking of ways to apologize to you or grand gestures that could put you in a good mood. 

“y/n?” he called your name in a sweet tone, as he finally reached your apartment, and smiled nervously as he took a look around. “Baby? I’m sorry I’m late, please don’t be mad.” 

It didn’t take a lot of searching to find you. The TV was on in the living room, playing an anime of some sort, while you were sleeping peacefully on the couch. It made him feel a bit relieved but also guilty since you had likely stayed up to wait for him. 

You looked cute in your sleeping state so it was hard for him to wake you but he didn’t want you to spend the whole night on the couch when you should sleep next to him in the comfort of your bed. 

“y/n?” he rubbed your shoulder and arm a bit to bring you awake enough not to startle you as he leaned down and kissed your forehead, nose and lips. “Should we go to bed?” 

You were still drowsy and only managed to nod, which made him smile fondly and then help escort you to bed where you both went to sleep in each other's arms. 

Key:

Key was no stranger to working hard and working late. It worried you at times and you always sent him small reminders to rest and eat well over text messages. He found it sweet and always did his best to follow them. 

One night he returned late after a recording and wanted nothing more than to go to sleep with you next to him. He imagined that you would already be snoozing peacefully by the time he made it back, so it would make him sigh to realize you had actually fallen asleep on the couch instead of the bed. 

There was a book on your chest, so he assumed you had been reading while waiting for him to come home, which he had told you countless times not to do. However, your stubborn soul never listened. 

He didn’t want to wake you up so he opted to remove the book first and then carefully carry you bridal-style to the bedroom where he tucked you in. However, as he turned to leave in order to clean up and wash up for bed, he felt a small tug and when he looked down he realized it was your hand holding onto the hem of his shirt. 

“Don’t go.” you mumbled in a sleepy voice. 

He couldn’t help but smile at the sweet gesture and gently grab your hand. “Let me change first, okay? I’ll be with you in a second.” 

“No.” 

He figured it was the stubborn soul talking again so he decided to comply and then lied down to cuddle with you. When he was sure you were asleep again he carefully left to wash up and change his clothes before returning to the same position, where he could hug you tightly and place a kiss on your forehead before ultimately drifting off into a peaceful slumber himself. 

Minho:

The apartment was quiet as Minho returned home late at night after a busy day. However, some of the lights were still on and it made him frown. He knew that you would often wait up for him just to make sure he made it back home safely. But he wouldn’t like it, so he was definitely ready to scold you. 

There would be no need for that, though, because when he stepped into the living room he found you sleeping safe and sound on the couch, covered with a blanket and dressed in your pajamas. 

He figured that you had gone to bed but not been able to sleep on your own and then opted to watch a movie and wait up for him. In the end, you had still fallen asleep somehow and he felt pleased with that. 

He let you sleep peacefully for a bit longer as washed up and changed into his own pajamas. Then he returned and picked you up to carry you to bed. He did so in a very careful manner since he didn’t want to wake you. 

The next morning you would be a bit confused to wake up in bed but when you turned and saw your boyfriend’s handsome sleeping figure, you would smile to yourself. You figured he had put you to bed without waking you, which was very sweet, so you definitely wanted to do something for him in return. 

Since you knew he had a day off you got up before him and prepared breakfast and coffee for both of you. When it was finished you would return to the bedroom and wake him up with some cute butterfly kisses. 

“Honey, wake up. I made breakfast.” 

Taemin: 

On his way back from a late schedule, Taemin would check his phone and sulk for a bit when there were no messages from you. It was out of the ordinary, since you would normally ask what time he would be back or leave a small ‘goodnight’ greeting if you decided to go to bed before him. The fact that you had left neither felt a bit off. 

He sent you a text, simply telling you he was on his way back and also asking if everything was okay. He kept his phone close to him not to miss your response but he didn’t receive one before ultimately making it back. 

After silently searching the apartment he found you sprawled out on your bed with your laptop placed next to you. It all made a bit more sense at that point and he didn’t feel worried anymore. Instead, he tucked you in carefully without waking you and repeated how cute you were to himself with a small smile. 

Lastly, he grabbed the laptop to put it on your desk but got curious as the screen lit up and showed one of his music videos.

“Oh? She was watching this?” 

Since you only used your laptop at home you didn’t have a password and you didn’t really hide anything from one another anyway, so he didn’t hesitate to look through your YouTube history to see if you had watched other videos of him, which you most definitely had. It would make him feel proud. 

The next morning when you were having breakfast together he would definitely bring it up to tease you and find it cute when you got shy. In turn, you would blush and accuse him of invasion of privacy, but it was not like you admiring him was a big secret to anyone. 

[onewfantaesy]

Upside down au.....what are shinees reaction to seeing Taemin for the first time in a long time. What is each members reactions. How does taemin react 💙

Just a quick note (tw dec 18): I’m still very uncomfortable writing about Jonghyun. I only recently was able to start listening to older SHINee songs again without just outright crying lol, and I can only listen to a few of his solo songs at a time. I am in no way an ot4 fan, I love all five of the boys very much, but I just can’t bring myself to write about him anymore. I just want everyone to understand that’s why he won’t be explicitly mentioned in this au or any others from the last couple years.

Upside Down: The First Practice

(tw abuse, kidnapping)

After running into Jongin in the hall, Taemin was feeling a bit more sure of himself. He was still nervous, still afraid what everyone’s reactions might be to him, but seeing Jongin helped him realize that his friends weren’t going to just outright hate him. But still, he asked Sooman to come with him. To be there with him. He was nervous and afraid and he needed Sooman there with him to keep him safe, just in case.

They were early - a whole ten minutes early- so he wasn’t expecting anyone else to be inside yet. The members were never on time to practice, let alone early. And the waiting was going to drive Taemin insane.

Sooman pushes the door open, and Taemin asks, “But what if they don’t want me in SHINee anymore?” with a catch in his voice.

“It isn’t SHINee without all of you,” Sooman tells him, a gentle hand holding onto Taemin’s shoulder.

“But-”

“Taemin!”

The wind is knocked out of him, and for a moment he’s frozen and terrified of the contact, but then he realizes he’s being hugged and it’s tight and it’s comforting and Taemin closes his eyes and hides his face in a soft t-shirt, whispering, “Kibum.”

“You’re okay?” Kibum asks, moving back and holding Taemin’s cheeks in his hands. “You’ve been gone so long, I missed you so much, are you alright? You’re sure it’s alright for you to practice so soon?”

Taemin’s chest deflates as a breath leaves him, and Kibum’s hands slack a bit from Taemin’s face.

“Do you not want me here?” he breathes out.

“What?” Kibum gasps, and his hands hold on to Taemin’s cheeks again. “Of course I want you here, we all want you here! We missed you more than anything, but you’re sure you’re okay?”

“I’m okay,” Taemin says. “I want to practice.”

Sooman urges them further inside, and Taemin is led to a couch on the their side of the room. The their members were close by, not wanting to crowd Taemin too much, but wanting to be near him.

Taemin particularly latches onto Jinki. He hugs him tight on the couch, pretty much falling into his lap, not letting go for a long time. Minho is nearby, tucking locks of hair behind Taemin’s ears, talking about all the video games he bought for them to play together as soon as Taemin can come back to the dorms.

“I saved all the best ones to wait until you were back, I want us to play together like we always do,” Minho tells him.

“Yeah, he’s got a million damn games, it’s hogging all the room in the living room!” Kibum complain.

“It is not!”

“Is too!”

“It’s for Taemin! It’s presents!”

“Presents-shmesents, you just wanted to play them, so you bought every game available.”

Their bickering is comforting and so, so normal, and it makes Taemin let out a breathy laugh into Jinki’s neck.

“Terrible, aren’t they?” Jinki teases in Taemin’s ear.

“Yeah,” Taemin agrees, his fingers tightening and twisting into the fabric of Jinki’s sweatshirt. “Missed it.”

Jinki rests his cheek on top of Taemin’s head, tightening his arms around him. Taemin likes it, the weight from Jinki holding him close, the way he can feel the air shift when Kibum waves an arm above him as he bickers with Minho, the way Minho scoffs in that specific way that he always does when Kibum makes a point he can’t really argue with, the low rumble against his ear from Jinki laughing at the two of them.

“Jinki was gonna adopt you,” Kibum tells him, and Taemin’s head snaps up and he laughs.

“What?” he asks. “But you’re only - you’re not even twenty-one yet.”

Jinki just scoffs, “I mean, I am legally an adult. I could have adopted you. And I was going to, for real. I’m the oldest, I’m the leader, it’s my job to take care of all you children.”

“He was gonna buy a house,” Minho adds, snickering with Kibum. “All so you could come back home.”

Taemin snaps his head back to Jinki, his chin digging into Jinki’s chest, and he stares at him hard, his lips pulling into a pout.

“Why?”

They’re all quiet for a long time. And Taemin starts fearing the worst, that it was only so SHINee could continue promoting or some other similar reason.

“Why wouldn’t I?” Jinki asks.

That doesn’t make Taemin feel much better, but before he can hide his face back in Jinki’s sweatshirt, a hand comes up to move Taemin’s hair from his eyes.

“You’re practically my little brother. You’re my family - our family - and I would do anything to keep all of you safe. All of us were trying to figure out what we could to do keep you safe. That just seemed like the most sure-fire option.”

Taemin still has to hide his face in Jinki’s sweatshirt, trying to hide the tears that burned his eyes.

“And I would have gone through with it,” Jinki tells him, rubbing circles on Taemin’s back. “But someone sort of beat me to it.”

Taemin lets out a watery laugh, and he pokes on eye out to see if Sooman is still there. And he is, sitting a few feet away with a couple managers. When he notices Taemin watching him, he smiles and nods his head, and Taemin buries his face back in Jinki’s chest, his hand moving to play with the drawstrings of Jinki’s hood.

Taemin suddenly feels drained. He’s tired and exhausted and the world feels like it’s spinning a little bit.

“Can we just stay here a little bit?” he asks. “Just a few minutes?”

“We can stay here as long as you want,” Jinki tells him. “You tell us when you’re ready to do something else. Anything at all.”

Taemin crumbles against Jinki, but it’s okay. Jinki keeps him solid, all the while Kibum and Minho tell him a million stories about things he missed while he was away. It’s full of giggles and exaggerations and the two of them constantly talking over each other. Taemin loves it. He missed it so much, the particular brand of bickering that accompanied SHINee wherever they went. It feels like home.

They practice eventually, going over dance steps, trying to out-sing each other, goofing around together. By the time they need to leave the practice room, Taemin isn’t ready to leave. He’s not ready to part with the members. He’s not ready to say goodbye, even if it’s only temporary.

“Can I stay with them just a little longer?” Taemin asks Sooman. “Please?”

“You can stay as long as you want,” Sooman says. “You could even spend the night at the dorm if you want.”

And Taemin does want to. He missed them so much, he missed the dorm so much, he can’t believe he used to complain about it.

But he’s still terrified to be away from Sooman, terrified he won’t come back, that someone will come and take Taemin away.

“It’s only if you want. You don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.”

Taemin thinks about it a while longer before saying in shaking words, “I want - I want to stay at the dorm tonight. If that’s okay.”

“The cleaning lady changed all the bedding just yesterday,” Kibum tells him. “So it’s all fresh. Your bed made was made too, of course.”

“Is it the-”

“The puppy comforter,” Kibum says, a little smirk on his face. “Your favorite one.”

Taemin’s cheeks turn pink, because it’s dogs not puppies that adorn his favorite dorm comforter, but he doesn’t argue.

He never thought he’d miss a crowded room with five beds squished into it so much, never thought he’d miss the bottom bunk next to Jinki’s single bed, but he feels right at home as he sinks into the mattress, pulling the comforter to his nose to smell the fabric softener.

He even missed the way the others all snored or talked in their sleep. It’s like a strange sort of lullaby, and Taemin falls asleep faster than he has in almost a year.

[5hining-aus]

SHINee Waking Up In Vegas

Requested by Anonymous

Onew

You weren’t quite sure how you got there. One minute you and Jinki were throwing back shots of tequila as if they were water, and the next, you two are waking up in a room that was definitely not the same one you had checked into the previous day

Wait, why are there rose petals everywhere? Why is there a bottle of champagne on the nightstand? WHY IS THERE A GOLD BAND ON YOUR FINGER?

You thought drunkenly getting married in Vegas was something that only happened in movies or on TV but yet, there you were, waking up sporting matching gold rings with your boyfriend (husband???)

Sure, you two had been discussing getting married, but that didn’t mean that you wanted to do it like this

Once Onew woke up, you two kind of just sat there, processing everything (and enjoying the lovely complimentary breakfast that came with the Honeymoon Suite)

Eventually, you guys decide to remain married, tell your friends and families a little half-truth and say you only got engaged, and then throw an actual wedding ceremony at a later date

Jonghyun

So a little story, you and Jonghyun had originally gone to Las Vegas instead of getting married

Not that you two necessarily wanted to go to Vegas over getting married, but due to schedules and flight costs among other things, you guys weren’t able to have the wedding you wanted yet, so you chose to wait

Funny how these things work out, huh

You two spent your first morning as newlyweds freaking out and planning on how you were going to walk away from your old lives, change your names, and move to some deserted island where you would spend the rest of your lives safe from angry family members

Was it dramatic? Absolutely. Were said dramatics justified? Probably

You guys weren’t quite sure how you were going to tell everybody. In the end, you two just made a groupchat, wrote something along the lines of “Hey, so we may have gotten married in Vegas. Sorry ‘bout that,” and then turned your phones off

You and your new husband would deal with all that mess after your honeymoon

Key

Your first thought upon waking up was “Will somebody please just turn off the sun,” followed rather quickly by “Wait, wasn’t my bed on the other wall? Is this not my room?”

You checked to see if you still had clothes on (you did), and that’s when you realized three things: 1.) There was glitter everywhere,  2.) Somebody was asleep next to you, and 3.) There was a ring on your finger that had not been there the day before

The person beside you began to stir and you contemplated making a run for it. You didn’t, but you definitely thought about it

He looked vaguely familiar but you couldn’t quite figure out where you knew him from at first. Eventually, you managed to remember enough about the previous night to recall that his name was Key and that you had met him in the hotel bar

Obviously, neither of you wanted to be married to somebody who was pretty much a total stranger, so you were planning on getting your marriage annulled quickly. It umm...It didn’t quite work out that way

Long story short, you two were going to have to stay married for a couple of months for reasons. Doesn’t that sound fun?

Minho

You were never drinking with Minho again. You two had fought against the alcohol, and you two had lost. Badly. Like, both of you waking up in the drunk tank dressed as Elvis bad

When you guys had been planning your getaway to Vegas, waking up like that had not been part of the itinerary

Neither was getting married, but that apparently happened too

To be honest, and you’d never admit it, you weren’t exactly distraught over the idea of being married to Minho

Look, he’d be a good husband, and it’s not like either of you had significant others

You were already living together (platonically, but still) so you two decided to just stay married and see what would happen

Taemin

When you felt a puff of warm breath hitting your face, you assumed that it was your boyfriend. It wasn’t, but you didn’t know that yet

It wasn’t until you heard Taemin say “Um, Y/N?” that you opened your eyes and came face-to-face with a massive dog

You two had drunkenly adopted a stray dog

And that’s not all. While you were petting the dog (because what else were you going to do) you and Taemin noticed that you were both now wearing matching rings

Turns out, he had proposed sometime the previous night (it slipped out, he had initially planned on doing it after you guys got home from Vegas), you guys found a 24-hour wedding place, got hitched, wandered around for a bit, met your new canine companion, and then miraculously made it back to your hotel

It’s gonna be a great story to tell the grandkids

[inspired-by-the-music]

For You: Stand By Me

Taglist: @jineunwootrash​

If you would like to be added to the taglist of any of this blog’s works, please ask!

Recommended Reading: For You: 4 O’Clock; these works have separate, independent, but deeply interwoven timelines.

Chapter 5: The Boy Who Said ‘Always’ 

Lei’s POV

Thirteen is a landmark age for everybody, I think. When I was thirteen, my life took off in a positive direction, but there were some drawbacks.

Sehun finally made his debut as an idol, attracting the attention and admiration that he always deserved. This wasn’t such a bad thing in itself, but I had seen less and less of him in the weeks leading up to his debut, and I almost stopped seeing him altogether once he was officially a member of EXO. It was a little sad, only being able to see him from the opposite side of a screen when he had been before my eyes for all those years, but I was happy that his dreams were being realized.

Maybe missing him would have been more crippling had I not been so busy with my own projects. Every morning, Amber and I sprinted through the halls of studios downtown to catch idols for interviews before their promotional stages. By the afternoon, I was back in the training studio with people closer to me in age and experience, working toward our shared goal of becoming real idols too.

Why I Experienced A Surge In Happiness At Thirteen:

I spent most of my time with Amber, who I admired deeply.

Speaking to such a vast collection of idols every morning taught me what I was training for: the opportunity to entertain others and express myself through art.

Johnny, Mark, and many of the others who would go on to form NCT took me under their wing on co-ed days.

Joy looked out for me on girls’ training days.

With Johnny, Mark, the rest of NCT, and Joy on my side, the mean girls were much less vocal in their bullying.

I know that this is kind of silly since I swear I believed Sehun when he taught me that others’ approval (or disapproval) didn’t define me, but I remember smiling from ear to ear when Amber showed me all of the supportive comments from people who called themselves my fans just from watching me interview idols with her. So many people cheered for me even though I hadn’t debuted or shown any hint of talent yet.

Even then, it occurred to me that Amber had carefully combed through all of the comments only to show me the uplifting messages, but I couldn’t quite bring myself to dwell on criticisms that I couldn’t see— especially not when she had gone to such lengths to inspire me. Besides, having just been freed from my braces, I embraced almost every opportunity to smile and boast my lack of a gap.

Those days weren’t necessarily easy or perfect, but they were simpler (at least in part) because I did not yet have to manage my image on social media. In my dealings with the public, I followed Amber’s lead and trusted that everything would work out. Now that I am older and I better understand those responsibilities, I hope that I wasn’t a burden to her.

The thing is, Amber never treated me like a burden. In many ways, she almost acted as if we were equal— as if she didn’t outrank me in age and experience in the industry. Still, she was responsible, protective, and considerate of me, all without ever boasting about what she did for me. Those days of following her lead shaped me more than I can ever explain.

If you imagine the perfect older sister, I promise that Amber was better in every way. She proved that every day and especially when we went to Japan for the S.M. showcase and she coordinated that belated surprise for my birthday.

Because that week in Japan marked my first break from training since I started a year prior, the trip was something like a vacation for me. My only responsibility was to help Amber vlog backstage. Once I was done with that, I reported to Super Junior’s dressing room, where Mom had set up a big screen for me to watch all of the performances without getting in anybody’s way.

I was alone, but I had long since learned to entertain myself. When a song I especially liked played through the speakers (spoiler: being first and foremost S.M. trash, I liked every song), I would set my popcorn down at my feet to stand and emulate the choreography while singing along.

Suffice it to say, then, that I was having the time of my life before the morning Amber tiptoed into my hotel room to tug me out of bed before the sun had emerged from its place tucked behind the clouds.

I knew that we were going somewhere special when she gave me a gift bag containing a pair of bubble gum pink overalls. To avoid waking Mom, who was sprawled out and snoring into her pillow, Amber whispered, “Happy Late Birthday! Hurry up and change into that. They’re waiting for us downstairs.”

Amber had been careful not to name who was waiting for us downstairs, but I wouldn’t have believed her if she had. Never in a million years would I have dreamed of meeting Key and Minho in the hotel lobby. They stood, bickering, by the front doors.

I guess Amber wasn’t expecting to see Key either. Furrowing her brows at him, she demanded, “What are you doing here?”

Key scoffed, “Good morning to you too,” but I caught the ghost of a dimple in his left cheek and figured that he was one of many who had a thing for Amber.

She seemed a little oblivious, wrinkling her forehead as she crossed her arms. “Where is Taemin?”

“Yeah.” Minho hurled fire at Key with his eyes as he repeated, “Where is Taemin?”

Key shrugged. “Fast asleep, I guess.” And Minho rolled his eyes.

My face, red enough from being so close to members of my all-time favorite group, darkened with the repeated references to Taemin, who must have been my ultimate bias. I breathed, heart pounding as I was trapped somewhere between relief and disappointment at the realization that he wouldn’t be joining us.

Too overwhelmed by Key and Minho and Taemin’s mere name, I didn’t even notice that Sehun was standing in a darkened corner until he said, “It looks like it’s going to rain soon. Shouldn’t we try to beat the rain?”

Something I can’t understand washed over me. Never in the years of knowing Sehun had I ever embraced him before, so I don’t know what I was thinking when I ran to him and threw my arms around his waist. It couldn’t have lasted for more than a second. As soon as I realized what I was doing, I released him, blushing harder than I had in my entire life.

Thankfully, Key and Minho were too focused on Amber (who was too busy trying to figure out where Taemin was) to witness my utter humiliation. The only witness was Sehun, who only blinked at me. A corner of his lips flicked upward as he waved. “Hi.”

He must have been in a good mood that day. When I finally gathered the courage to meet his gaze, he wasn’t glaring at me. Maybe because I was embarrassed enough without his lecture, he didn’t bother to correct my behavior.

I imitated his tiny smile and waved back. “Hi.”

And then I felt it all at once: how much I missed our everyday interactions— that I was no longer the only one who thought he was the most handsome person— that while I had naturally memorized his every word and every expression, while I had appreciated our every scattered moment, something about Sehun was past tense.

And I had never known to prepare myself for the feeling that I was saying goodbye to something that I couldn’t name but loved nonetheless. I probably couldn’t have prepared myself anyway, and I wouldn’t have wanted to risk ruining the days that are now memories by anticipating the end, but I was so caught off guard by the influx of emotions at the sight of Sehun that (all day) I struggled to catch my breath.

I couldn’t quite hear Minho tattle to Amber that Key had stolen Taemin’s ticket to Sanrio Puroland— I couldn’t quite smile about the surprise destination or mourn the missed opportunity to meet my ultimate idol— over the screaming thought that they were slipping away — or maybe (deep down I knew) they were already gone: the days of sitting by Sehun’s side.

It’s sad that so many details of what could have been our last golden day are lost in my memory. Even as I sit here, trying to dust off the memories off with my pen, all I can recover is the all-consuming fear that I was losing him who was never mine.

There is something sad about the passive love I had for Sehun. No matter how we changed, no matter how many days passed, no matter how the trees and flowers wilted and blossomed, come rain or shine, whether we spoke every day or never again, I would always want to see him just one more time. Always, even if one of us should try to strike it dead, even if one of us should try to forget, my one hope would be to see him happy.

The sad part is: I never willingly gave him my heart. Sehun had it from the moment we met. While something about that is very sweet and childlike and beautiful, it is cruelly unfair. Had my heart ever been mine to give, I probably would have given it to him anyway, but that’s not the point.

I read once that you don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world, but you do have some say in who hurts you. I never got a say in who hurt me. If I had gotten a say in who hurt me, though, I probably still would have chosen Sehun. Like that book said, I probably would have liked my choice.

Anyway, here is what I remember. Here is what I can never forget:

Minho and Key, in their competition for Amber’s attention, had trampled on Sehun’s last nerve, so he wordlessly gestured me away from the group, toward a cotton candy stand.

Nobody noticed the almost childlike smile that grew on his face as he asked, “You like the little bunny, right?” He pointed to bright pink cotton candy shaped in My Melody’s image, and I nodded, too stunned that he remembered my favorite Sanrio character to speak.

When you love somebody the way I loved Sehun, you imagine that there is some deep significance to everything they say and do. Maybe that’s foolish. Or maybe something perceived or imagined is somehow real too. I don’t know.

Even on the most superficial level, I appreciated the smile he concealed behind the tall cotton candy before he entrusted it to me.

Chest heavy and aching for reasons even his apparent happiness couldn’t drive away— wondering if it was normal to want to cry even in the presence of someone who makes your heart flutter— wondering how it was possible to miss somebody right in front of me, right in arm’s reach— I started to say that the candy was too cute to eat.

Then, feeling like that was a weird thing to say, I decided to ask Sehun to take a picture so I could remember this moment later when my thoughts weren’t quite so bitter and only sweetness remained, but I never got the chance.

Dark storm clouds rolled in overhead and spilled cold rain on us without warning. By the time Sehun pulled me under some pastel pink and blue umbrella, much of the candy had dissolved into a shapeless pink blob.

“Sorry,” Sehun muttered as if he had caused the rain. He held his hand out, and I don’t think I would have given him the spoiled candy had I known that he would toss it into the trash bin without hesitation. He promised my devastated expression, “I’ll buy you another one once the rain lets up.”

Frowning, but not quite on the verge of tears, I mumbled, “I didn’t even get to take a picture.”

He raised an eyebrow at me. “What a weird thing to say. You were never meant to photograph it. You should be whining, ‘I didn’t get to take a single bite.’”

I said, “People mourn tragedies differently, Sehun,” and I know he wanted to laugh at my dramatic reaction, but he was kind enough to bite back his snickers. And although I had forbidden myself from saying so, when I glanced over at him, and my heart tremored, I blurted, “I miss you.”

Again, he remarked, “What a weird thing to say.” Often when we spoke, Sehun looked away from me, toward something in the distance, but he had been eyeing me strangely since I hugged him in the hotel lobby. I always regretted hugging him. “How can you miss me when I’m standing right beside you?”

Why couldn’t he ever just accept how I felt? Always, always, always, I was embarrassed after revealing my feelings to him, but no shame was ever enough to remind me to bite my tongue. Something about him always compelled me toward honesty.

My face flushed, and I shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe you’re just not the same person you used to be.” Sehun grunted as if I had knocked the breath out of him, but I knew that I wasn’t strong enough to do that, especially not with words. “Maybe I loved—”

I hadn’t meant to say that. I meant to say ‘liked,’ but ‘loved’ came out of my mouth instead. I carried on as if I had made no mistake (and maybe I hadn’t), “— who you were as a trainee, and now—”

Why had I said anything at all? I made no sense. My gaze fell somewhere around my feet, somewhere in a shallow puddle. “Well, we never really were equals, huh?”

“I’m not different,” Sehun claimed instantly as if he somehow understood my gibberish.

I argued, “I’m not saying that you tried to change. You just have because that’s what people do.”

“Not me.” I watched Sehun shake his head, but I didn’t look too closely at his face. “And not you either. I’m still me, and you’re still you, so I don’t know why you’re so upset.”

“You really don’t think I’ve changed at all since we met?” I don’t know what I expected. I had always suspected that Sehun would only see me as the nine-year-old he met by the vending machine, but I was somehow disappointed.

Fidgeting under my skeptical stare, Sehun conceded, “Well, obviously some things are different. You’re older and taller. You sound a little different. You don’t look at things with little stars in your eyes anymore, and you don’t walk with your head down like you did last year, but—” He rolled his eyes when I raised my eyebrows to say ‘I told you so,’ — “what matters hasn’t changed.”

Because I didn’t know, I asked, “What matters?”

Sehun shook his head, finally looking away from me as he stuffed his fists into his pockets. “If you don’t know, there’s no point in telling you.” His voice, usually so calm and collected, burned me. I gasped at his temper, and he swallowed his frustration to say, “Words can’t convince anybody that you care about them.”

My jaw dropped. “You care about me?” The answer must have been obvious from the way Sehun cut his eyes at me.

When my cheeks turned red and I looked away, he quietly said, “I don’t like saying these things, Lei, so you’re going to have to put two and two together to realize that I’m always going to look out for you.” I didn’t think it was possible, but his voice dropped even lower when he breathed, “You’re going to have to realize for yourself that it hurts my feelings when you accuse me of changing.”

I almost choked on the humid air. “Your feelings?”

He frowned at my reaction, a thin line forming between his eyebrows as he drew them together. “Yes. I have them too, you know, even if I don’t spill them everywhere.”

Apparently, I had accidentally touched some nerve, but I didn’t think that justified Sehun’s harsh words. “I don’t spill my feelings everywhere.” 

I glared at him, thinking that I would have apologized for hurting his feelings if he hadn’t set out to hurt mine too. “I only spill them to you because—” He gave me that warning stare, but I wasn’t going to say anything bad, so I frowned at him for always expecting the worst from me— “I trust you.”

Sehun seemed surprised that I could admit something so nice in the midst of what had become an argument. His eyes widened, and his expression softened as he reminded, “You shouldn’t trust boys.”

Almost teasingly, I lied, “I don’t really see you as a boy, though.” Sehun snorted, so I maintained, donning my most solemn expression, “Really, I don’t! I see you as more of a guardian angel.” Even when he was mean for the briefest second, I only thought good things about him.

“A guardian angel?” Sehun repeated, chewing on his grin. “I should warn you that the more you expect from somebody, the likelier they are to disappoint you— even if they really don’t want to.”

“You can’t disappoint me,” I said, “because I don’t expect anything from you.” Even while living in the moment, I knew that Sehun didn’t believe me, but I promised anyway, “I won’t get mad at you even if you get tired of looking out for me. I get that most people don’t mean words like ‘always’ and ‘forever’ and ‘never.’”

“I wish you didn’t know that,” Sehun said so quickly that I almost thought I imagined is voice. “I mean those words when I say them, though.”

That was the first time that I didn’t believe him wholeheartedly even though I wanted to. I didn’t think that Sehun was purposely lying or anything; I just think that some words are too big— too infinite— for people to understand well enough to use truthfully. It’s an accidental dishonesty. It’s enough that somebody wants it to be true. Or at least that’s what I keep telling myself.

“Okay.” I nodded as if that would bridge my unbelief and the growing ever-present distance between us that he couldn’t feel yet, that he would probably (hopefully) never feel.

With nothing left to say, we stood together under the umbrella, waiting for the storm to pass so we could step back out into the day, but it rained for as long as I can remember. It rained even on the way home.

Yes, I’m still sad that I didn’t get a picture of that moment when I held the cotton candy in those seconds before the storm, but I think it’s sadder that I don’t have a single picture of Sehun from those days. I guess I should take comfort in the fact that the details still haven’t been forgotten; maybe that means they never will be.

[misfitjohnnys]

unintentional; trying to hold it in but the pieces are falling

 You’ve worked hard for everything you’ve gotten and Mark Lee is a soft twist in your busy life, but you know hiding part of yourself eventually always bites anyone in the ass.

Word count: 21k - part 3/5

Reader x Mark Lee

(M)

masterlist // warnings

Mark had arranged a special trip to make sure he dropped you off at the airport and you got on the plane safe and sound. You could see the sadness in his face. You wished you could stay with him longer, but maybe it was time to jump back to reality. That was what vacation was, right? 

a/n: this chapter contains smut

You sighed and thumbed over his hand in yours as you made your way to the airport. You knew how dangerous it was for him to be in public like that with you, especially on the day of a show in the city they were playing in. He brought his mask and hoodie specifically for him to be able to walk you through to check in. It felt nice; him making sure he was there to check up on you. He didn’t have to, but you could tell how much he wanted to even at risk of his own safety.

You dreaded getting out of the car when you pulled into the parking spot, sitting in your seat and wishing you were glued there. His driver was extremely understanding thankfully, because you felt like you sat there forever. You looked over at Mark, still holding his hand and seeing the soft, sad smile on his face. “I’m really gonna miss you.” You smiled back at him, sighing again and you wanted to kiss him, so you did. It was probably wrong and extremely troublesome if anyone saw you, but you hoped the black tinted windows were enough to hide it.

His mouth felt warm, but he was tense. You let his hand go and reached up to cup his cheeks and relax him. His hands went down to your waist, holding you for what felt like it would be the last time. You thought for a moment, hoping to relax him, you wanted to say something to make him feel at least a little better. You pulled away to look at him, seeing the melancholy in his eyes.

“I’m gonna come visit you, okay? I promise. Maybe after all this, after the funeral and everything is over.” It wasn’t entirely a lie and it seemed to calm his nerves, smile peeking through. Your heart was wrenched at the thought of leaving. It was the last thing you wanted to do, but you knew you had to.

“Promise?” You could tell he had more to say, but he couldn’t. Mark was too sweet and understanding to ask you to stay, you knew that. You nodded, seeing his grin grow wider. You were thankful he didn’t seem like he was going to cry, it felt too early for that and you were begging yourself not to get worked up enough for tears, you couldn’t let that happen. The last week had been like a dream you didn’t want to wake up from. The outside world didn’t exist for a while, but you knew it eventually had to end. You walked hand in hand through the airport, Mark’s mask on his face and a hat on to cover himself, but it still made you nervous in case he would get caught. He rolled your bags and you kept your personal bag on your shoulder with your wallet inside. You’d hardly even used it the last few days, letting the time pass. You spent most of your money on flights and rides online anyway, so checking your wallet wasn’t the biggest priority.

Mark brought your bag up to the check in and you could see his frown, picking it up with less effort than it took you, which made you giggle just a little bit. He was such a gentleman and that made you happy. You showed the woman at the counter your ticket and it almost didn’t feel real. It didn’t feel like you were about to leave him, and you wished so desperately that you didn’t have to.  You walked with him again holding hands, making your way to the final stop to be inside the airport where you couldn’t exit again, wanting to savor your last few seconds with Mark in a tight hug, his arms around your waist and his face nested in the crook of your neck. You sighed softly, kissing his ear because it was the closest piece of skin in view. You were surprised to see how empty the corridor was, looking around and feeling like he was safe enough at the moment. It was incredibly not busy, so you pulled his face up, smiling at him and seeing his eyes crinkle.

He was a little shocked when you pulled his mask down to his chin, leaning in for just another soft kiss, plush pouty lips against yours as if it were the last goodbye. You hoped it wasn’t, you had to keep positive.

You hugged once more, tight arms around tense bodies, but it felt good nonetheless and tearing away felt like hell. You waved him off and stepped forward into the line, feeling his eyes on you and a pout staying on his face before he hid it with a mask. Thankfully nobody was around to see, you really hoped he was in the clear on that front.

You glanced back through the windows as you walked through the doors, watching Mark walk away sadly as you reached into your bag to grab your wallet and present your ID at the counter. You went through it, furrowing your brows when you saw that something was missing, but you couldn’t quite place it. It looked just slightly emptier, shaking it off and pulling your ID out. You presented it and made your way through to your gates and bag checks. You wished Mark was with you, but you’d been in the airport five times so far in the last week alone, so you could easily do that, but you wished you had his company again and it hurt just a little to know that you didn’t know when you’d have it again.

You decided to clean out your bag after it all got emptied in the check. You had so many unnecessary things over the last few months in it and it never occurred to you to clean it. Hopefully it would distract your mind. You emptied your bag, noticing that the NCT keychain you were used to having on your keys was gone. You remembered ripping it off right after the first night with Mark, knowing it would add to the suspicion, but you wished you had it to remind yourself of him again. You remembered tossing it in your suitcase, but didn’t remember seeing it as you packed up. It was odd and even though you ended up breaking it, you weren’t quite ready to part your ways with it yet.

You finished pulling the trash from your bag and neatly reorganized it, waiting for the plane to board when you got a text.

I miss you already :( I really hope I get to see you again

Your heart ached, sighing and figuring out what you should say to him. You hated being away from him and it had just been a few minutes. You were shocked to even see a text that soon, but it felt nice, nonetheless.

I miss you too, i really want to plan something asap bc I had so much fun, we should definitely hang out again before you leave okay??

He took a little while to respond and it seemed slightly dry. You hoped he was okay and part of you felt like your confidence was a little too high in that moment. He was already missing you and you felt important still. You hoped it would stay like that and you’d make a huge effort to make sure it did. You didn’t want to lose contact with him, but you’d never been in the position before. Normally you were the one who let friendships and relationships die, but you didn’t want to ruin this one, even if it wasn’t serious enough yet.

I really hope you can

You sighed, gripping your phone tightly in your hand. It felt like all you had left of Mark. You thought up a response, quickly typing it out when you heard that your plane was boarding.

Don’t forget about me, okay?

You bit your lip, walking up to the podium to present your ticket and get onboard. You felt your phone vibrate as you walked through, smiling when you saw who it was. You answered the phone, grinning and letting your phone open up a FaceTime. On the screen you saw Taemin, Ten, Lucas, and Mark grinning into the camera. Your heart was swollen, and you tried your best to make your way to your seat. “Hold on guys, I’m gonna get my headphones really quick!” You sat down, pulling your headphones out as you watched Lucas out of the corner of your eyes making faces at himself in the phone’s camera.

“We’re gonna miss you!” Lucas told you, giggling. You hadn’t gotten the proper time to say goodbye that morning, spending all your time with Mark made you kind of forget about it. You felt a little bad. You got your headphones in, hiding your phone screen and grinning into the camera.

“I’m gonna miss you all so much!” You reminded them, giggling as you saw Ten rip the phone out of his hands. “I had such a good time with you guys, I’m so glad I met you!”

“Okay, so, you live in LA right?” Ten asked you, bright grin shining on screen.

“Mm, yeah!” You nodded, waiting for what he was going to say. He always had something funny to add to a conversation, you loved hearing him speak.

“Well, you know, we have two shows in California, you could meet up with us and Mark could get laid again and-“ Your cheeks heated up and you saw Mark grab the phone, eyes wide and nervously smiling into it as he looked at you.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry.” You could hear Ten laughing, Taemin joining him loudly as Mark tried to regain his composure. “They wanted to tell you goodbye.”

“Bye bye!” You heard Taemin yell, Mark smiling and pointing the camera toward him, who was waving excitedly at you. “I’ll miss you!” Taemin made your heart soft. He was one of the most fun people you’d met yet in your celebrity life and you hoped you could definitely hang out with him again, but from what you knew America wasn’t a place he was often. It made you a little sad. You had to make plans to see them, smiling at yourself and sighing when you saw how happy they were, so excited to have made a friend. You were glad you’d met them, even if only for a brief period of time, they helped you vacation more than anyone else ever had. They felt like friends more than yours even had and it was an overwhelmingly warm feeling in your heart. You hoped you’d stay close and continue your friendship, even from so far away. Maybe you’d visit them in Korea, you weren’t sure, but you’d hoped. You knew Ten was mostly promoting in China and with the information you knew, you hoped he and Taemin would continue their happy relationship. You knew so much about them just in such a short period of time. It was nice.

“Babe?” You heard Mark call for your attention, pulling you out of your own thoughts. The pet name rung in your ears so nicely.

“Hm?” You smiled, giggling at his soft cheeks and smile. He was beautiful, such a wonderful face to see on someone who seemed to care about you so deeply so quickly.

“Be safe, okay?” Your heart felt like it would burst, making you slightly teary eyed. “Talk to me if you need anyone, okay? Even if you have to call me at the funeral, I’ll be here for you.” He made your head turn to mush, wishing you could embrace him again, feel his warmth cradling you through hard times. You nodded, grinning so wide it hurt.

“Thank you.” You nodded, sighing and just seeing his content face, sitting calmly in his hotel room. You had a feeling that it wouldn’t be the end in that moment.

“I’ll be here for you, okay?” You nodded in assurance, seeing his soft shy smile appear once again when the room quieted down. You heard the flight attendants start to speak, pulling you out of your conversation and you frowned just a little knowing you had to hang up. “About to take off?” He asked, nerves pulling on his face again and you nodded. “Okay, call me when you land.”

“Good luck with your show tonight, alright?” You nodded once more, telling him your final goodbye before you had to turn your phone on airplane mode, sighing as you hung up and set it down. You hoped to take a nap through your flight. It was a longer flight than the others because of the distance and it made you sad not to be able to talk to Mark, but you’d be in touch with him in just a few hours so you were thankful.

The plane ride pulled anxiety out of you, making you take one of your Xanax for a nap. Thankfully it worked, cradled up with your phone in hand for comfort and an airplane blanket. Your headphones were stuffed in your ears, playing music to ease you into sleep, nodding off easily after takeoff.

It was easy after that, waking up when the turbulence got high and pulled you from your dreams. You were landing soon and the first thing you wanted to do was text Mark, waiting for the plane to touch down and allow it. You were quick to get texts on the way out, seeing multiple messages from Irene, Mark and three unrecognized numbers. You grinned, knowing exactly who they were.

So the funeral is in two days, I’ve rearranged some appointments for outfits and got a headstart on your speech. Interviews for new management are being arranged as we speak. Text me when you land down and I’ll send a car. See you soon. Good luck! Everyone misses you!

You were sure everyone at work was kind of glad to have a break from you. Even if they did enjoy you as their boss, you weren’t going to deny being high strung and a bit overwhelming at your job. Things seemed to have gone smoothly and without many issues, thankfully from Irene’s participation and eye for knowing exactly what you needed to happen. She always made sure things went well, and you almost felt bad for ditching her, but she liked the fact that you were having a good enough time to be distracted from work for so much longer than intended. She didn’t know exactly what had even gone on and you were almost scared to tell her, but you’d handle that in person. You typed a quick message to her as you made your way into the airport to go back home. It felt like you’d been away for months, but hopefully you’d enjoy being back at least just a little bit. The moment was bittersweet.

Hi honey, it’s Ten! Good luck with everything sweetie, we’re here for you <3

We wish you the best and I hope to see your face again! Come jopping with us soon ;) -TAEMIN

It’s Lucas!!! You made this tour a lot of fun so far! Thank you!!!❤️~

Mark’s texts made your heart race, sighing and feeling stars in your eyes as you read all four of them. It made you happier than it should have to see a quadruple text.

Hey how’s everything?? I’m worried sick about you i hope you’re okay!!

I hope you’re not too busy to talk to me when you get back home but i totally understand if you are??

i don’t wanna seem crazy i promise lmao but i want you know we’re here for you!

aaaahhh!! sorry for texting so much i swear I’m not normally like this !!!

You had your own fair share of obsessively texting people, so it didn’t bother you even a little bit. He made you feel so special and you wished you had more time with him. You immediately called him, shocked to speak with him for an hour, giving him live updates on everything as he got ready for the show, just enjoying hearing each other’s voices even if the conversations were filled with nothing important. You liked him way more than you probably should.

-

The days following were heavy, filled with grief and much more paperwork and filling in at work than you thought in a time of heartache. You weren’t used to texting much anymore, trying to keep yourself composed in the crisis of the day, but you were thankful when the funeral was over. You spent almost every second of your free time keeping up with Mark, just excited to see exactly what he was up to, even catching up on his lives and seeing him text you back so quickly. The boys still seemed happy and that’s what made you a little more grounded. You’d thankfully found a replacement and it hurt your heart, but you did what you had to do. You made sure to cut checks to family members of the deceased, hoping to keep them afloat a little better. You always did what was best for your restaurant and you could tell it was what kept you so successful.

The funeral was beautiful, a perfect way to commemorate Hannah’s hard work and appreciate her as a person, giving your condolences to the family members and made sure to memorialize her in the best way possible. It ached your heart that you didn’t have Mark with you, repeatedly reminding him that you wished he were there, and he had no hesitation telling you how much he wished he were with you. It made it all a bit easier. The boys texting you made it easier too. They’d send a couple texts every few days, and even though they weren’t as thorough as Mark, you still felt important to them.

Days went by and turned to weeks, getting back into routine and making sure all the locations were still perfectly good to go. It was more work than you thought it would be, but you managed; making sure everyone was back on track and you were shocked by how much time had passed by. You were easily able to keep up with Mark and the rest of SuperM through social media, but you wished you were hands-on with them again, hanging out when you saw pictures of them out and about. It warmed your heart to see them having fun, but it didn’t stop you from wishing you were there with them as well. You almost cringed at the fact that you and Mark FaceTimed almost every night before bed, but it made you feel warm in the moment. He made you so happy and you were falling for him way faster than you ever thought you should. It didn’t take much with him and you could tell he felt the same way, setting yourself up for something that almost felt forbidden, but you didn’t care. He distracted you from the hard times at work and from the reality of business meetings and he was a very easy escape. You felt like you were his too.

It came up on two nights before the last tour date of the year, sighing in bed after a stressful day of work and you wanted more than anything to be with him. You bit your lip, pressing the call button and being sure to get him on the line. He answered with a bright smile, as always. “Hey babe.” You had to stifle a giggle, sighing happily as you got ready for bed, in your pyjamas and setting your phone on the bathroom counter to do your nightly skincare.

“Hey!” You grinned, looking over at him as you grabbed your facial soap, rubbing it into your skin. “How are you feeling now that the tour is almost over?” You asked, smiling happily and seeing him sigh in content.

“It’s uh, a little sad.” He shrugged, pushing his black hair out of his face. He always looked so good when his forehead was out, you noted. “I don’t want it to end, you know? I really like touring in America, it feels almost like I’m home, you know?” He pouted softly, sighing as he laid his head into his pillow, fingers running through his hair again. You’d noticed he did that a lot on FaceTime. He was a fidgeter, he liked to have something to do. “I wish you were here.” He reminded you. You hadn’t heard him say that in a few days, so it was a nice surprise. It really felt like you were in a long distance relationship, nagging at your heart because it had only been a little over a month and you wished so desperately that you could’ve gone through it all with him, but things happen for a reason, or so you hoped.

“You’ll be back though!” You reminded him, grinning and trying your best to stay positive. You wished you could’ve seen him before that leg of the tour ended and it was nagging at you that you should’ve visited again, but the time never came up and it made you sadder than anything. The first leg of the tour flew by much faster than you thought possible. You didn’t have time to see him, but you hoped that even if you couldn’t see him before he left, it wouldn’t be long before he was in California and you’d be in his arms at least once again. Thankfully NCT had been doing a lot of American visits, so you’d have your time again, you hoped.

“Yeah.” He nodded. He was silent for a moment and you could tell he was thinking, trying to find his words. You let him take his time, but his silence was more than deafening.

“What’s wrong?” You asked, stopping after you finally wiped your face off, biting your lip and worried about him. “Is everything okay?”

“Well,” Mark sighed, a small smile playing on his face. “I actually.. Was going to see if I could come see you.” You were shocked a little, eyebrows raised and slightly narrowed in concern. You swallowed, not even sure how to react to his confession. Your silence made him nervous, speaking up once again. “I mean, uh, the last concert is the day after tomorrow, so, um, I might have some time to visit because I, uh, have to be in Spain a couple days after, but I’ll be back in New York for the Macy’s Day Parade,” He grinned, knowing he was telling you information that he wasn’t allowed to tell you. It made you feel good that he trusted you, pulling your lips into a smile in the disbelief of him wanting to come to you, but you held back your excitement even though the words were ringing in your ears. “So I’ve got a couple days to hang out.”

“You sure you want to visit me in the midst of all that?” You giggled, resting your elbows on the counter to get closer to the camera. You could see the faint blush on his cheeks as he nodded. You were more than shocked that he was actually planning a trip for you even when he was so busy. You didn’t know what to say.

“Only if you, um, think I can.” He wanted to work around your schedule, and it was thoughtful, so, of course, without even thinking too hard, you gave him an answer.

“Absolutely.” You nodded, giggling even harder with excitement. Even if you didn’t have the time, you would make time around him because your happiness mattered just as much as your success, and Mark had been your main source of happiness for the last few weeks. You’d mostly kept to yourself aside from him and you were suffering just a little bit from the vacation still, but you didn’t at all regret going, seeing his face perk up and his eyes disappear into a smile. He was more than excited, you could tell.

“You’re deadass?” He asked, grinning even harder. You didn’t hear him swear as much anymore, so it was pleasant to hear. You hardly ever heard anyone but Taemin curse so it felt even more real to hear him say those words. You wouldn’t let him know that though.

“Uh, duh!” You nodded again, giggling even more and feeling butterflies in your stomach at the thought of him visiting again. This time it would be in your city. It was nice to have the upper hand again and you were thinking about all you could do together. You wanted him to visit at least one of the stores you owned, so that was exciting, but you also wanted to show him the small spots in LA that you’d found. It wasn’t your favorite city, but it was a great place to make a living and you’d done it, finding comfort in little hideouts for enjoyment that you definitely wanted to share with him. He was just as important to you even if things had moved so fast, you trusted him to come into your personal space and you could tell he appreciated that.

“Buy your plane ticket and I’ll pick you up from the airport!” You told him excitedly, returning to the mirror to put your moisturizer and facial creams on. You had a hard time containing breakouts with the stress, especially from smoking, but you worked around it. Mark didn’t seem to mind.

“You’d do that?” Mark asked excitedly, grinning and pumped that he’d see you even sooner than he thought.

“Yeah, I get to drive you around now, how’s that feel?” You joked, seeing his eyebrow crook and seeing a smirk on his face.

“That’s hot, yeah.” You blushed, shaking your head at his stupid comment. “Got an independent one to drive me around. Got me a little badass!” He smirked playfully, raising a brow.

“Shut up.” You laughed, hearing him join you. He took a big sigh, feeling your own heart beat fast in your chest as you saw him relax, making your own way to bed. You bit your lip, sitting down on your own bed. You thought for a moment, wondering where exactly he planned to stay. You hoped it was with you, so you had to ask. “Hey, so,” You started, searching for your words. “Are you wanting to like, stay at my house?” You asked, biting at your lip again out of nervousness and you saw him flush a little, nerves returning. You’d never had anyone romantically interested in you stay at your place, so it was only normal to be scared, but you had a feeling it would be fine with Mark. You moved fast anyway in your friendship, so you thought it wouldn’t be a problem, but it still worried you.

“I mean, like,” He cleared his throat, running his fingers through his hair again. He was nervous that you asked that way and you almost regretted it until he spoke up. “I won’t if you don’t want me to, but, uh, that’s what I was thinking.” You grinned again, feeling a slight tug at your stomach as you looked around your room to see a little bit of kpop paraphernalia. You’d have to make a note to put all of that away in the next two days. “Un-unless you don’t want me to!” He started, beginning to ramble on. “I mean I can find a place to stay, I don’t think it would be a problem, I mean, I could get a hotel room and you could come stay there with me so we could see each other because I don’t really know your living situation but-“ You cut him off with a laugh.

“No, you’re staying here.” You told him, nodding and biting your lip again. “You can sleep in my bed,” You saw him relax, sighing happily. You hadn’t had anyone in your bed in quite a while and they had all been friends or Irene, so it almost scared you. “I don’t bite.” You were glad you didn’t have a roommate in the time being.

“I mean,” Mark started, making you roll your eyes.

“Okay I might bite sometimes, but only if it’s wanted.” You joked playfully. He laughed in return, blush plastering itself across his face through the screen. Mark had a way of making your stomach flutter.

“That’s kinda, uh, dirty.” He teased and you weren’t sure you wanted to get into that conversation with him, the arousal only slightly making its way down to your core. It could wait, you wanted to wait for Mark, and you hoped it would come again that you’d share another intimate moment. Sex with Mark was incomparable, but he didn’t need to know that over FaceTime.

“Shut up.” You laughed, shaking your head. “If you’re coming then I need to get some rest to get my shit together tomorrow.” You both laughed again, sighing into the pillow underneath you. You could tell he was getting ready for bed too and it was weird to think that he was only across the country and it was much later for him, but you loved that you were on the same sleep schedule for now, it didn’t matter where you were.

“Yeah, I probably need to turn in too.” He had a dopey smile played on his face and you admired it, seeing him relax into the pillows and you hoped nobody was around to see how whipped you were for him. It was embarrassing to think, but you knew it would be fine. Everyone else was probably sleeping already.

“I guess we should say goodnight then?” You said softly, seeing his eyelids get a little heavy. He was tired, but he had a hard time sleeping if he didn’t talk to you before bed. That was sweet.

“Yeah.” He nodded. “I’ll see you in two days, okay?” He asked, perking up for just a moment, voice slightly groggy. It was hot for him, but maybe you were just thinking about the fact that you could be with him again. It made you a little more excited than it should’ve even if it wasn’t just about sex. Being with Mark was the fun part; the intimacy was an added bonus.

“Okay.” You nodded, giggling happily as you sighed into bed, you felt warm, cozy and excited to see the boy you couldn’t yet call your boyfriend, but it meant the world that he was coming over. You had to get the place ready for the visit, but that was the least of your worries. You hoped he’d still like you if he saw you in your normal setting, it didn’t feel unlikely that he wouldn’t; you’d be a little more stressed but also more comfortable, so maybe it would work itself out. “Goodnight then, yeah.” You smiled through your thoughts.

“Mm, I miss you.” He sighed, eyes dreamy and heavy with sleep. You heart felt like it would beat out of your chest.

“I miss you too.” You spoke softly, looking into the camera to get the same dopey smile from him.

“Goodnight, baby.” He told you, the pet name the perfect end to your night before hanging up with the biggest grin of your life. He made you happy, almost too happy. You clutched your phone to your chest after he hung up, finally relaxing into the pillows. The sooner you could rest, the sooner you could prepare to see Mark. It made the night go a bit more smoothly. Sleeping was easier that night than it had been since you were away from each other and for that, you were more than thankful.

You’d woken up exactly 8 hours later, more rested than you could ever remember feeling, even without an alarm. You’d luckily given yourself night shifts two days in a row, so the morning was your time to get the place ready. Your heart rate spiked every time you remembered that you hadn’t ever been in a position that you’d had someone you were romantically interested in at your house, so the was new and uncharted territory scared you, more excited than you expected as you boxed up your more obvious merchandise and tried to still make your home feel lived-in. The place looked almost barren without the decorations and you realized you were probably in over your head for still trying to hide part of you.

It was mostly your albums going into the extra bedroom. You figured leaving a poster and a few knick-knacks on your shelves wouldn’t hurt. They were low-key enough to not seem suspicious and part of you felt like maybe it was time to confess to Mark, but you weren’t going to risk it beforehand because you wanted him to come over so badly. You wouldn’t let anything ruin that. He bought himself a flight for right after checkout the day after the concert, so you’d be picking him up right after your shift and with the time zone difference, it worked out perfectly.

You missed him more than you thought imaginable, dusting around the place and catching the little spots your housekeeper managed to miss as you rearranged a little furniture to make the space more movable. To be honest, you knew your apartment was in great condition, but you had a lot of nervous energy and cleaning seemed like the best way to get it out in a positive way.

You pulled out your best candles and put the rest of your casual decorations you’d been meaning to hang on the walls, setting them up to where they looked perfect. You stepped back to admire your work, confident enough in your place to where Mark would enjoy it. You were lucky, the place was beautiful when you bought it, so you never were ashamed of bringing people over, but Mark made you a little more nervous than others for obvious reasons. You hoped it was perfect for him.

As you made your way to work, the smiles wouldn’t leave your face. The sun was shining bright in the afternoon and hot even with the crisp Los Angeles air around you and you were thankful because Mark said that the weather had been terrible each place they’d gone on tour so far, you were glad to give him just a bit of relief. The sun beamed down on you through the windows as you smoked down a cigarette on your room’s balcony. You’d smoked so much less than usual lately and the pain of losing a friend had subsided. You were starting to feel like yourself again and were hopefully on your way to making your habit less intense. As you made your way to work, you thought about Mark and what it was going to be like to hold his hand as you drove, and it made you grin stupidly. You sighed, turning the radio up and enjoying the breeze through the windows because in a little over 24 hours, you’d be seeing Mark’s bright and smiling face. It made the separation from him so much more worth it.

Two shifts away from him landing down. The first one was a breeze with what felt like no issues whatsoever, immediately going home to cuddle in your bed and sleep only one last time alone before Mark was there. Dipping your fingers into the waistband of your pyjama pants, you thought about Mark and it almost felt wrong, but you liked the time for yourself and the thoughts about him were too enticing to ignore and the nerves of him visiting would settle with the assistance. You were looking way too forward to the visit to say you weren’t even dating, but you were hopeful either way.

You woke up the next day with extreme butterflies in your stomach. You wore a nice outfit to work and spent extra time on your face just in case things got a little too jumbled together in your schedule. You’d gotten up earlier than you should have, preparing the house just a bit more and finishing up your laundry. Things had to be perfect and your nerves were intense, but not negative. Much less scary than when you left to see the first concert. It felt like it had been ages since it all started, reminding yourself that the friendship and love interest was all still relatively new, so you couldn’t jinx it just yet. Work was a breeze, easily filling the place with full bellies and a light enjoyment all around the customer tables. Maybe it was just the excitement of what was to come after you got off. Your life was going perfect, better than you ever thought it could as of late.

You were a little too excited to clock out, quickly shutting the doors and helping to get everyone out and cleaned as soon as possible. Mark texted you a few hours prior that he was getting on the plane and he would be landing sometime soon. You excitedly helped bus the rest of the tables and got dishes done, making a smooth closing easy. You were mopping the last floor when you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket again, grinning when you saw Mark’s text.

I’m here!! we just touched down so I’ll be waiting for you in a little bit!!

You quickly locked the doors after made sure that everyone clocked out and was ready to leave. You went outside, jogging excitedly to your Mustang and hopped in, nerves shaking you up only slightly as you started it up. You’d get to the airport just in time to pick Mark up after he left the plane and got his bags. You couldn’t stop the smile on your face as you made your way there, excitedly running inside after parking.

You waited inside on a bench for a couple minutes and felt a soft tap on the shoulder, sweet laughter filled your ears as you were pulled into a sweet embrace, Mark’s face nuzzled into your neck and his soft breaths made you feel dizzy. You couldn’t believe he was in your arms again and it almost felt like you were meeting for the first time again. You held him tight, not wanting to ever let go and let the fantasy end. It still didn’t feel quite real. You giggled, pulling away slightly to get a glance at him, but you were met with a masked face with a hat on to cover him, which you definitely understood the reasoning to, but you wanted to quickly get somewhere more private to greet him in a way you felt was proper. You tugged his arm along and pulled him with you, his free hand dragging his luggage as you made your way down the escalators out to the car. The airport was loud, so it was hard to talk to Mark anyway, but you could feel his eyes boring holes into your head, glancing back and each time seeing his cheeks making his eyes disappear into crescents from his smiling.

“I cleaned my house for you.” You told him as the place quieted down, seeing his eyebrow quirk up.

“Someone trying to impress me?” Mark joked, grinning somehow wider. “I’m actually really excited to see your place and not have tons of people around me and in the same house.” He sounded relieved and you were slightly concerned for a minute. It flashed in your mind that it was probably really hard for him to deal with that many people around him at all times. You knew a little about their housing situations, but he’d talked about it just a bit.

“You all live together right?” you asked, thumbing over his hand and you heard him sigh.

“Yeah, kinda.” He shrugged. “There’s twenty-one of us, right?” You heard him hesitate and you realized that this was the first time that Mark was really opening up, but it was also the first time he wasn’t in close proximity of the other members and not even in the same town as them for the first time since you met him. And you’d only been around when he was in a group of seven, so the reality of how they were living was more concerning than you’d thought about before. You nodded. You could tell Mark was gathering his words. “There’s technically ten of us in 127, which I know you know is my main promoting group,” You nodded again. “but nine of us live together. Nine. Ten of us lived together before one of our members, his name’s WinWin, went to China with WayV,” You heard him sigh, furrowing your brows and almost feeling terrible for him. It wasn’t often you thought about that kind of thing, but it was becoming obvious that it was something he dealt with daily.

“That.. is a lot. It sounds overwhelming.” You turned to him with a frown, just wanting to comfort him. “Well, you get to have a small getaway, right?” you tried to reassure him, seeing a sad smile creep on his cheeks, pulling his mask down in the dark empty garage.

“Yeah, I’m really excited about it.” He sighed happily. “It’s going to be a really nice escape.” When you walked up to your car, seeing the Mustang had his jaw dropping. It was nearly as if he’d just laid eyes on a Lamborghini. “Is this your car?” He asked, grinning when you unlocked it with your keys, letting go of his hand to open the trunk for his bags. “Holy shit, I’ve got myself a badass.” He pulled the mask off of his ear, grin shining brightly and setting his bag in the trunk, admiring the car.

“I guess so.” You shrugged, looking the vehicle over and not thinking a huge deal of it. It was an upgraded model you got straight off the lot and you took great care of it, so you were proud, but it wasn’t as big of a deal as Mark was making it out to be. “I like it, it takes me places.” You teased, raising a brow at Mark, who was inching his way closer to you. You hoped the parking garage was private enough because you grabbed Mark by the jacket and pulled him flush to you, just close enough to where your faces were an inch from each other.

“You take me places.” He told you, closing the space between the two of you with a firm kiss, lips sliding against yours like his life depended on it. The words fluttered in your stomach. You felt good, like you were an escape to the life he was so used to living. You loved that Mark made you feel so detrimental with every kiss he gave you, his soft hands finding place on your sides, gently thumbing over the fabric of your shirt. You pulled away with a grin, seeing his shy smile and a bright blush on his cheeks.

“The only place I’m taking you is home.” You told him, biting your lip and seeing him shy away again.

“Okay!” Mark laughed nervously, biting his lip and hugging you tightly, sighing into your neck. “I’m so glad to see you.” You felt your heart race, pulling away so you could get in the car.

“Are you hungry?” You asked him, grinning and wondering if he was properly taking care of himself since he was so busy.

“Starving.” He told you, making his way over to the passenger side. “Maybe you should show me your way around Los Angeles?” He smirked playfully, slipping into the car and admiring the inside.

“Like a date?” you joked, grinning as he settled into the seat and shut the door.

“I’m all yours.” Mark softly smiled, reaching over to gently lay his hand on your lap. It surprised you how affectionate Mark seemed to be in comparison to how he seemed in videos you’d seen of him and he was definitely more of an open book than you’d thought. He’d told you much more than you’d ever expected to hear from him, and it made him seem so vulnerable. You had one hand on the steering wheel as you reversed out of your spot, making your way out of the parking garage before you tangled your fingers with his, opting to drive with your left hand. Holding hands with Mark was sweet, his clammy fidgety hands between your fingers made your heart warm and the heat rise on your cheeks. “You’re actually a good driver.” He told you, bright smile flashing. You rolled your eyes and thought of all the times that your friends had told you that you weren’t.

“Don’t let my friends hear you.” You told him, grinning. “They all think I want to star in Tokyo Drift or something.” You earned a soft laughter, thumbing over the back of your hand.

“My friend Johnny drove us around in Chicago once and I almost threw up. I wouldn’t tell him that though. I mean he’s a good driver! He was just too excited to show us around.” The mention of Johnny’s name made your heart rate spike again, swallowing hard. “You also have a nicer car, so that might help.” He made you laugh, rolling your eyes again.

“I paid incredibly too much for it right off the lot, but it was my dream car for a while.” You told him, looking over to see him still starry eyed.

“At least you can drive.” You snorted at that, grinning at his childlike ways. It wasn’t his fault he couldn’t drive, but you were sure he definitely didn’t have the time to learn and with the abundance of drivers he had it seemed weird for him to take himself around. “Taemin tried to drive us once here and our manager literally made him get out of the car so he could drive. Man was heartbroken.” You snorted harder, thinking about Taemin pouting and being forced into a passenger seat.

“Does he drive at home?” You asked, biting your lip because you already kind of knew the answer.

“Jongin said he’s terrible. But yes, he does drive.” He said through giggles. You sighed, pulling up into the street you lived on before skillfully parking into a spot in the garage, making Mark raise his eyebrow at you, slightly impressed. “See? I could never do that!” He grinned again. The awe he had in his eyes when you did anything blew your mind, making your chest tight and you felt like a teenager inviting your boyfriend over when your parents weren’t home. It wasn’t the same kind of forbidden, but it was close.

You walked Mark up the stairs, slight small talk between the two of you as he ranted softly about being so tired. You knew exactly how tired he was, you knew he was between two groups that were touring back to back and you just wanted him to rest, but he was making it seem less tiring than it was. You soothed his mind as you listened to him rant. He seemed to need someone to do that with who was outside of the situation, so you were happy to be of assistance. He was sweet and didn’t want you to worry, but you were mostly just glad you could be in his arms again. You didn’t know how long the fling would last, so you would savor it as long as possible, carefully walking him to the front entrance where he looked awestruck again, observing the many different lights and decorations around as you unlocked the door with your keys, seeing him bite his lip. He looked a bit nervous, like he was doing something he shouldn’t. Which was partially true.

“I cleaned for you.” You warned Mark.

“You said that already.” He laughed before squeezing your hip.

You grinned as you opened the door up, his fingers tangled with your left hand as he followed you inside, eyes beaming around the place as he took it all in. You felt him let go of your hand, slight confusion on your face before you felt arms around your waist, pulling a smile to your lips as the door shut behind you. You felt him hold you tightly from behind, his chin resting in the crook of your neck and sighing softly into your hair.

“I really missed you.” He told you. You could feel the warmth of his face against your skin and it felt intoxicating, relieving you of the stress from your last few hectic weeks. “I, like, think about you all the time, everyone tells me to shut up.” He spoke softer, just holding you in his embrace for a while longer, loving the contact and you wondered how you’d gotten so lucky. This amazing boy walked into your heart and was having a hard time leaving and for once, it wasn’t your fault. You hadn’t done anything special, but there he was, thousands of miles away from home and in your apartment to spend time with you before who knows what scheduling he had in the near future. It was unreal.

Mark had fallen asleep quickly after laying down in your bed with you, promises of he was sorry for being so sleepy as he thumbed over your hips through your oversized t-shirt and he couldn’t quite get it through his mind that you didn’t actually care at all. It was nice to be laying in bed with him, not a worry in the world and you weren’t at all concerned about work, everything had gone much smoother in the last few days than you expected and you were making quite a bit of money and saw pretty good reviews, so all you had to focus on was Mark sleeping peacefully in your bed for the next few hours, dozing off right next to him, his head laying on your chest. His kind, sweet innocent nature made the room a thousand percent cozier.

You woke up with Mark’s nose nuzzled into the crook of your neck and his arm uncomfortably laid over your body. The first thing you did was snort, seeing his messy hair and his open mouth. You hoped he was dreaming well, clearly sleeping peacefully enough to knock the blankets to the edge of the bed and push the pillow he was supposed to be laying on off of it. You hadn’t seen him sleep that hard yet, but since the stress of the SuperM tour for that segment was off of him for a few days, you knew he needed the rest before he headed home for practice and then to Spain. You gently moved yourself off the bed, trying your hardest not to wake him and replace your body with the extra pillow before softly covering him up.

You sighed peacefully, looking at him sleeping heavily on the bed, seeming to not have woken him up as you slipped onto your balcony to smoke, putting a cigarette to your lips before taking a deep breath in. You looked back in through the window to see Mark still sleeping sweetly, cuddled around the pillow you left him, a smile gracing your lips as you took a seat on the balcony, looking over the city. It was just before dawn and it had been a while since you’d taken the time to appreciate the sky. Mark helped you slow down. You never once thought that someone could change you, but he brought you new surprises each day.

You had your knees pulled to your chest while the cool breeze passed over you. It never got too cold in Los Angeles, so sitting out was nice even in winter. You took a few drags from your cigarette, watching the stars glisten and wondered how you got so lucky as you tried to pull yourself awake from the nap. You yawned slightly and a small gasp left your lips when you heard the balcony door open, quickly turning back to see a yawning Mark with his eyes hardly open. He shot you a smile and rubbed his eyes, taking a seat next to you. “Good morning.” He spoke softly, eyeing the cigarette in your hand.

You grinned at him. “Sleep well?” You asked, seeing his sleepy grin. “You were out pretty hard. I didn’t think my bed was that comfortable.” You teased, taking another drag. You didn’t miss how he eyed it.

“Yeah, it was probably the best nap I’ve had in about 6 years now.” Mark laughed, wrapping his own arms around his knees, yawning again. “You’re comfortable.” He teased, sighing. “You sleep okay? I woke up and you were gone.”

You shrugged in response. “I slept fine, yeah.” You nodded. “You sleep like a rock.” His laugh could bring daises back to life.

“I guess I needed it.” Mark was still eyeing your cigarette, furrowing your brows as you followed his eyes. “Do you smoke a lot?” He asked, eyes innocent.

You were embarrassed, swallowing softly. “I-I guess I do.” You answered honestly, shrugging and taking another drag. “Probably more than I should.” You’d cut down a lot, but not enough to be rid of the habit.

Mark nodded. “Did you, uh, ever-“ You knew what he was about to say, you’d heard it a million times and it hurt you each time someone said it, you just wished it didn’t have to come out. “Think about quitting?” You knew that in his line of work, he wasn’t really allowed to smoke, just like everyone else he was around. It was Mark’s second strike since the PDA in the bowling alley, and it made you nervous.

“Not-not really. I’ve put it down a few times, but honestly it’s just relaxing.” Your face was red, and you felt awkward, looking down and taking another drag as you sighed. Mark swallowed, blinking and scooting closer to you and you could see him biting his lip from the corner of your eyes.

“Oh, okay, um,” Mark started, but the damage was already done. “I’m sorry, that was, um, kind of rude.” He sighed again, fiddling with his fingers. “I-I don’t want you to do anything you don’t want to, you know.” Mark told you. You responded with a nod, but just needed a moment to cool down over it. You were frowning a bit, just trying to finish your cigarette. You had to give it to him, he was good at taking his foot out of his mouth. You just wish it hadn’t gone in.

“I get it a lot.” You shrugged, keeping your eyes away from his. You hated being embarrassed about it, especially since you knew everyone who tried to get you to quit was right, but it was an easy way to relax and you didn’t like that people told you what to do. “I just don’t like to be reminded of stuff I don’t like about myself.” You both smiled at that, earning a shrug from Mark.

“You can say that again.” He grinned, looking over at you. You put the cigarette out, smiling over at him. He reached over, gently stroking your cheek with his thumb before gently pecking you on the lips. “It doesn’t bother me that much, I’m just not used to it. Nobody around me smokes. It’s just-“ He shrugged again, making you smile. “Different.”

You both got up from the balcony ground, making your way inside. “Let’s go shower, you sweat in your sleep.” He laughed. “Which makes me sweat, so.” You teased him, grinning.

“It was a long day, okay.” He shook his head, already tugging off his shirt and tossing it over his shoulder. You took a slight look, biting your lip softly and tugging him into the bathroom by his wrist.

-

“That was like, the most fancy shower I’ve ever been in.” Mark giggled softly, drying his hair off with one of your plush towels. You shook your head, smiling at his antics. You’d just had slightly messy, but definitely sweet sex in the shower and he was just thinking about your bathroom. You had to admit, you did have a really nice shower and you loved it but hearing him talk about it filled you with a sense of pride. “You’ve got like, a really nice house.” You rolled your eyes at him.

“Come on, your place has got to be nice, you’re an idol for god’s-sake.” You saw him shrug, smiling back at you.

“I mean, it’s nice, but you’ve got this place to yourself.” He told you, looking around your apartment, wide eyed with a towel around his waist. You tried not to stare, but you liked the way Mark looked and you couldn’t deny it. “This is like, the perfect bachelor pad.” You snorted at him.

“I’m not exactly a bachelor.” You teased, seeing him gasp and cover his face, his bashfulness showing through.

“I can’t tell if you’re saying you’re not single or what you’re trying to get at.” He pouted softly, soft smile showing through. “Because,” He stepped closer to you, wrapping his arms around your waist. “I think we’re kind of, um, exclusive.” You couldn’t help your grin, already knowing the truth behind his words, but it was nice to finally hear it from his mouth.

“That was like, the most nervous way to ask me to date you.” You were in another big shirt already, not bothered by him seeing you so casual. He’d seen you at your worst at that point, so you kissed him, your hands placed softly on his cheeks, closing your eyes and feeling his body pressed close. He had basically just told you that you were practically dating, so you had to honor him, knowing it was hard for the situation, but you were willing to settle with that for now. You’d known each other for only a short amount of time at that point, but it was exciting to kind of know where you stood.

“Well I mean, it’s the end of the decade, you know, why not do something crazy while I can?” Mark was looking shy, a blush tinting his cheeks.

“Yeah, why not?” You shrugged, teasing. “I like that you’re willing to take a risk with me.”

“Well, I’ll be in the states quite a bit next year,” He started, grabbing your immediate attention. “Like, I will be here, a lot.” He emphasized. “And I think it’s kinda, um, stupid to ignore the fact that this could work.” You swallowed, blinking and excited to hear what was coming next. “So, I thought, why not? You know? I just think it’s worth it to try.” He smiled again, unable to stop his excitement from showing. Your head was spinning.

“I definitely think you’re right.” You nodded, sighing happily and kissing him softly again, wrapping your arms around his neck. “So I think you should get dressed and we should go on our first date.” It was still slightly dark out, but since you had the nap it felt much later in the day. You shrugged. “Or, you know what?” You piqued his interest.

“Yeah?”

“We could order in, watch a movie, and make out all morning until we fall asleep.”

“That sounds much better.” You saw Mark go to your room, open his suitcase, and pull out a shirt and some shorts, cutely pulling them on. He looked so shy as you watched him, smiling like an idiot and trying to hide himself.

“You don’t have to be so shy, you’re like basically my boyfriend right now.” You teased, grinning and flipping through the subscriptions on your TV as background noise.

“Ah, right now?” He laughed, trying to tug on some socks on one foot, raising a brow at you. “I’m only your boyfriend right now?” He smirked, finally fully dressed and making his way over to your bed, laying sweetly at your side.

“Shut up.” You teased him, running your fingers through his wet hair. He looked around your room, admiring the simple decor and grinning when he saw a small collection of NCT things around your desk. You’d left them there to hopefully make him smile.

“So someone’s become my fan.” Mark joked, seeing him eye the few remaining albums around your shelves. He had no idea that the rest of your memorabilia was in another room, so you’d let him have that one. You were silent for a moment, if only he knew. “Whose photocards did you get?” He laughed, looking back and quirking an eyebrow back up at you. You shrugged playfully, enjoying that he seemed to feel full of himself.

“Well, I got one for Johnny, a Jungwoo, and two for you.” You saw him grin widely at the last part, smiling to himself. “I also have some SuperM albums on the way, I thought you’d enjoy those unboxing if you were here.” You shrugged again, not missing how happy he seemed to get.

“Hm, I think that would be a great date.” Mark joked, grinning widely. “I hope you got my face.”

“I did, because I love your face.” You smirked teasingly, “But I also got Taemin, Ten, Lucas, and literally all of your faces. I bought them all.” You snorted and Mark couldn’t help but to laugh loudly. You didn’t really have the time before you met him to buy your albums because of all the work you were doing to prepare you for your trip, so meeting them was really working in your favor. “You’ve gotta get some kind of paycheck from me, right?” He was enjoying the praise, you could tell.

“I just want to be with you, I don’t need anything from you.” Mark spoke with the sweetest smile on his face. “But, I do like that you care so much.” He shrugged, sitting up and reaching out for your arm. “Come on, let’s go check out Netflix and make ourselves sick on takeout. My treat.” You happily stood up, wrapping your arms around his waist and easily following behind him with your head on his back as he tried to make his way around your house. He was checking everything up and down, being nosy, but you didn’t care. It was his home for the next few days and you wanted him to come back, so it felt like his place too. Mark was your boyfriend for now, at least. You’d enjoy it while you could. “Ah man, this place is crazy!” He spoke in giggles, excitement evident in his voice. “Like I said, our place is nice, but nothing like this!” He admired the beautiful chandelier work, flipping your dimming light switches, and decided to mess with the crystal door handles. He was like a little kid in a candy store. You’d made the place elegant, especially for work parties and personal investment meetings, so you were proud of how it had come along, it was nice for Mark to feel the same way too. “Ya’ll got a pool?” He snorted.

“Yeah, actually, there’s a community pool on the fourth floor, it’s heated too.” You shrugged, hearing Mark sigh happily.

“God, that sounds so nice. We’ll have to go before I leave.”

You pouted in response, not wanting to think about him leaving, you had other things to do and not worry about anything but each other and spending as much time together as you could. You each needed it more than anyone could imagine.

Mark was rather silly, he got bored of the movie he picked super easily, he’d seen the Xander Cage movies so many times that he said even his members got annoyed with it and he was sure to tell you that Donghyuck and Dongyoung were the main ones who said something about it, you noted how cute it was that he used their birth names, it made you feel even closer. He was being sure to show you his music videos, giggling at himself each time he saw himself on screen, making sure you were paying attention and you didn’t have the heart to tell him you’d seen them already even though you were positive he’d just play it off as you liking him.

You’d learned his favorite videos so far were The 7th Sense and Superhuman and was sure to point out that Ten and Taeyong were in each, pointing them out and singing along excitedly. “We have such a fun time filming the videos, they’re the best part of the job.” He told you, trying to keep still as he tangled his legs along with yours on the couch. “We film all over the world, too! We get to travel so much, it’s unreal.” He was grinning like an idiot, pride overwhelming his speech. “Ten was actually supposed to be in 127 with me and Taeyong, but he got hurt and now he’s in WayV with Lucas and-“ he sighed happily. “We’re all just one huge, like, massive family.” The smile on his face was bright, excited to show you each video, trying to figure out your sound system and dancing in his seat.

“You’re so cute.” You reminded him, running your fingers through his hair when he laid his head on your shoulder. He was small and fragile, definitely someone who liked being taken care of but wouldn’t admit it. “You care so much about them.”

“I really do, I didn’t think I’d like literally everyone in a 21 member group, but we all get along pretty well.” he made sure to tell you, checking his phone and you didn’t miss his lock screen picture, a photo of 127 right after the end of the Neo City tour. It was a picture of them all in Vancouver where Mark was from. You recognized it easily. You were keeping up with them more than before, so you were extremely up to date. “We’re missing Jungwoo right now, so it kind of sucks.” He frowned. “And we don’t interact much with Wayv right now, but hopefully next year we’re all gonna be back together again!” He said hopefully, grinning and responding to his texts. You’d seen quite a few unanswered messages, but you wouldn’t pry.

“There’s really 21 of you?” You asked, feeding into his excitement.

“Uh, yeah, it, uh, gets kinda crazy when you get into it, but like, we’ve got 21 in the entirety of NCT,” He laughed, turning his body toward you to fully explain. You knew the explanation well enough to tell anyone, but you’d listen excitedly. He told you about it before, but each time he talked about it you listened, starry eyed and willing to let him explain. “I was in NCT Dream for a while, then I kinda, like, graduated, and now it’s just the younger ones, so I kinda got kicked out.” He laughed again, shrugging. “I miss it, but SM has so many plans for me and I’m just here to follow along and I’ve debuted like ten times at this point.” He was exaggerating, so you were going to play with him.

“Ten?” You snorted, laying your legs across him on the couch as he pulled up some NCT Dream videos, watching him instead as Chewing Gum was the first one playing on the YouTube playlist.

“Well, I debuted four times, but that’s not the point.” Mark was laughing now, giggling as he was eyeing the TV. “God! I look so young! That was only a few years ago!” He shook his head, eyeing the video.

“You’re only 20 now, so you’ve grown a bit. I mean, look at how different Renjun and Jeno look!” You grinned, hoping to pull excitement from him. Mark looked at you with wide eyes and his jaw dropped.

“You know the members?” He asked excitedly, blinking and in disbelief. You could play dumb, you’d learned it was a bit more fun that way.

“I pay attention.” You shrugged with a giggle, seeing Mark sigh happily, grin not leaving his face. “My boyfriend is in NCT, I’ve gotta learn a bit about them, right?”

Mark nodded, shrugging playfully. “That’s dedication, I knew I picked a good one.” You couldn’t find it in you to feel guilty because of hos excited he seemed to be. You both shared giggles, feeling him scoot closer and wrap his arms happily around your waist and hug you tight, happy to have someone care so deeply about him. “It’s so exciting, I-“ You felt him tense a little, getting a bit more serious. He sighed heavily, shrugging.

“What?” You prodded, running your fingers back through his hair.

“It-It’s nothing.” He stilled, arms staying around your waist and his head still laying on your chest in the embrace.

“It-It’s just, um,” He sighed again. “I’ve never really dated anyone before, it’s just.. really exciting.” He was bashful, you could feel his cheeks pull into a smile, a small giggle coming from his lips.

Your cheeks were burning up, kissing the top of his head to make sure he didn’t feel too awkward. You didn’t care that he was inexperienced like that, it didn’t bother you. It felt nice that he was opening himself up, you liked being the new experience. “It’s okay, I promise.” You reminded him, moving his hair out of his face as he came back into reality from his confession. “I’ll make sure you’re comfortable.”

“You’re just, like, amazing.” He was sighing again, this time of relief and you couldn’t stop your own giggle. “And Everyone dates quietly sometimes, but I’ve never had that, really. Like Johnny’s dated a couple people, Baekhyun’s had a few girlfriends, Jongin too, Lucas dated people when he was younger, so now it’s like,” He groaned, obviously slightly embarrassed and he talked a lot when he was nervous. “I’ve got someone.” You were blushing again, loving the way he was confessing; so cute when he was bashful. You heart was beating heavy in your chest, glad to just be making someone so happy. It felt good to you too, finally having someone who you never thought in a million years would be in your home, making sure you knew he was yours. You didn’t expect that conversation to come up out of your knowledge of his members, your guilt being pushed into the back of your mind. You didn’t care at that point, just glad to have him so excited. Maybe you’d confess soon, it almost felt right, but the moment was good, and you didn’t want to change it as he picked his head up, happily pecking your lips and you could easily see the bright blush on his face, giggling when you finally met eyes.

“I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again. Mark Lee, you are a sap.” You both grinned, pecking his lips once again. “And I like you a lot, so I’m happy to have you as my someone too.” His smile was bright enough to put the streetlights out of business.

“Good, because hopefully you’ll see a lot of me this year.” He snorted, kissing you sweetly again, slightly parting his mouth and you couldn’t help but to laugh. “And I’m excited to see a lot of you.” He spoke against your lips.

“Someone’s eager.” You teased, letting him get entry on your mouth, his soft tongue swiping along your lip and easily moving your legs to lay you under him on the couch, soft laughs coming from the both of you as you kissed passionately. His hands made their way up your sides and squeezed softly. He made a soft noise as his fingers felt your skin, raising goosebumps in their wake, easily thumbing over them. You didn’t mind his pent-up frustrations, rather enjoying that he was riled up all because of you, especially since you hadn’t seen him in a few weeks. You liked being his center of attention, you couldn’t deny it.

Mark kissed down your neck, his soft breaths making it evident he was still nervous to be so close, but eager to please you. “Is this okay?” He asked, he always did. The sun was peaking golden in the mid-day even with the lights off. You loved seeing him praise you silently in the glow. He left soft nibbles on your skin, pushing your shirt up just below your chest, his hand smoothing over your ribcage and kissing just above your collarbone. You moved your leg and pressed your thigh between his, giggling at the groan that came out. “Baby,” He soothed, not missing how he softly ground on your skin, loving the attention you gave him.

He moved back up to kiss your lips, soft hands roaming around your thighs and playing with the hem of your shorts. He gently cupped between your legs, kissing you harder as he humped down on your leg through his shorts. The friction was nice and warm, just enough to get you going. Mark was like an eager puppy, loving the not-quite-enough touches.

His finger pressed down between your folds through your shorts, his lips eager to get more leverage, tongue trying to gain access as he steadied himself. For some reason it was really hot that he was using you to get off, you hadn’t quite experienced that before and with Mark it was such an innocent way for him, he was sensitive and you hadn’t seen each other for a while, so the need was obvious. He was panting into your mouth after a moment of grinding on you, whining softly and you couldn’t help but giggle, kissing him back with fervor. You loved the way he felt against you as he slid his fingers under your shorts and underwear, playing gingerly on your clit with the tips of his fingers.

“Mark, baby,” You spoke against his lips, you could tell he was close, his face was hot, and he buried it into your neck as he kept his hips moving, his fingers trying their hardest and making you choke a little on your breaths. “Fuck,” It was a sweet scene, the neediness in his body as you let him use you. His fingers didn’t stop, losing focus and making your vision blur until he stilled his body, heaving breaths in as he reached his high, nearly collapsing onto your body as he whined. You giggled at how spent he was, running your fingers through his hair. You weren’t too worried about getting off, as he was clearly needing it more than you, especially since he spent 98% of his time surrounded by people and he was a pretty hormonal guy, so you understood. He was silent for a moment, trying to come back to reality and you knew the groan from his throat meant he wasn’t proud of himself. He moved his hand back to your thigh, his body warm. He was silent for a moment when you felt him tense up.

“Oh god, oh man, I can’t believe I just did that.” Mark groaned again, pouting and not facing himself toward you. He turned over and laid next to you side by side on the couch, hiding his face in his hands with an obvious stain in the front of his shorts. You could see his embarrassed smile under his wrist, turning over to giggle and scoot closer to him.

“Don’t be shy,” You teased, tapping your fingers against his hand, trying to get him to come back to you. “I liked it.” You admitted, biting your lip and seeing his eye peak from under his hand.

“You did?” He was giggling again, pouting softly and he looked so cute, you couldn’t help it.

“Yeah, I like it when you’re needy.” He groaned again, covering his arm with his face as you tried to ignore the heat in your core.

“God, I sound like a teenager.”

“Mm, a hot teenager.” You both laughed, making you think again, knowing that wasn’t what you meant. “Maybe I shouldn’t say that.”

“Yeah, maybe not.” He was finally laughing again, turning over to lay his arm along your side, tickling your hip. He kissed you much softer this time, his lower lip poking between yours as his fingers made their way back down, grinning into his kiss as they pressed into the waistband of your shorts, slipping underneath to work on you again. You gasped softly into his mouth, moving your leg over his hip as he got better access. He slipped his fingers down and teased around in your arousal, a gasp pulling from his throat when he felt how turned on you were. He stayed for a moment, rubbing at your clit to get you going again before he pressed two digits inside, groaning into your mouth at how wet you were, his thumb rubbing back over your clit. It didn’t take much to get you off, leaving you panting into his mouth and his soft fingers working themselves on you. “Good?” He asked, working you through your orgasm and smoothing over your folds to bring you back to earth.

“Mm, it’s always good with you.” You assured him, wrapping your arms around his neck and pecking his lips once more. “But you should probably change, I’ll wash your dirty clothes.” You grinned, seeing him nod. “I saw that interview where Johnny said you wash your clothes when you can, so let me take care of you.” He was rolling his eyes immediately. He regretted every interview he’d ever done all at once.

“Alright, alright, don’t embarrass me more, okay.” He teased, sitting up and wishing you to follow him to get his clothes in order.

Things were easy with Mark, much easier than your other relationships, for some reason he had much lower standards and it didn’t take much to amuse, entertain, or impress him. He was adorable and you loved the fact that every time you spoke he had stars in his eyes as if you were the amazing one and the all-famous perfect person of his dreams. You worried vaguely about your future and how you’d end up, but you wanted to have fun for the time being and worry about the craziness later. Luckily you both had the money to see each other pretty often, you would just have to find the time. After seeing his schedule for the year though, you weren’t too worried. You’d have so many opportunities to see him and it made the idea much better.

There was only a hint of sadness once you had finally come to his last night of visiting, you’d spent most of your time relaxing and doing Mark’s laundry to almost rehabilitate him from the hectic tour life, but you also spent 6 hours in Dave & Buster’s together in Hollywood after a very thrilling street show of lookalikes where Mark threw two hundred dollar bills into the tip jar. The Willy Wonka cried, so it was safe to say you enjoyed your time with him. It was your last night together and you wanted to make it special, so of course you were laid in bed finishing the most recent season of Stranger Things.

For some reason, you had also ended up in two groupchat text messages, one with SuperM that somehow always seemed empty when you texted in it, so that was vaguely disappointing, but you did enjoy the chat with some of the guys from 127, a shocking twist, and that one always was very fun. The chat included you and Mark, Jaehyun, Yuta, Johnny and Taeyong, so the combination was always very interesting. You had to hide your excitement when you finally got to talk to them but talking to them normally really made you realize how they were normal people, just like Mark. It felt like a fantasy. You loved being included in the fun and finally having more conversations with Taeyong was nice. You liked him a lot, you thought.

You couldn’t quite tell what it was, but Baekhyun especially didn’t seem to be bothered with you and it only slightly got to your head, but you realized that it wasn’t easy to please everyone. You knew he’d been through a lot in his time and you were sure he knew how dangerous the whole dating thing was and since you and Mark were trying to keep under wraps, maybe it was best if they weren’t all too involved.

So, there you were, tangled up in Mark’s arms as he responded to the “foreigners+yong” groupchat. Johnny named it with pride, he was amused and Taeyong liked it too. They’d thoroughly explained the name to you, and you listened, just enjoying that they were amused by telling you that Jaehyun lived in America for 4 years and where the others were born, you didn’t mind at all.

You sighed into Mark’s chest, thumbing softly over his torso and smiling when he giggled at how it tickled. “God, you’re so cute.” You reminded him with starry eyes.

“Text that in the groupchat, they’ll for real never believe it if you don’t say it.” He teased, smirking as you rolled your eyes at him.

“I don’t have to say everything in a group chat.” You teased him back, grinning when his smile was shining. You sighed happily, laying your head back on his chest. “Mm, let’s order pizza.” You suggested.

“God, yes, I’m starving.” He groaned happily, tossing his phone away from him on your bed. He told you how much he liked your bed and you wished he could stay in it forever, but hopefully it wouldn’t be long until he could again. “And we should order, um, dessert too, because, yeah.” He was giggling again, kissing the top of your head. “Gotta splurge on the last night in paradise. My treat.” You snorted in response, shaking your head and pulling his phone back up to grab it and call for delivery. He didn’t mind showing you his phone and yours was on the charger across the room, so you pulled up Uber Eats and as you were placing the order, you saw a text message from Baekhyun saying to call him when he could.

You’d seen him ignore a few phone calls in the day, opting to deal with the backlash the next day after his flight back home, so you didn’t think much of it. Mark was tapping his fingers on your back to whatever rhythm he was humming as you placed the final order, handing him his phone back. “Baekhyun texted you.” You told him, smiling and seeing his shrug.

“Yeah, he’s been, um, kinda weird since the first leg of the tour ended, I’m not sure what’s up with him.” Mark shrugged, obviously not bothered by Baekhyun’s actions. You figured you shouldn’t be either.

“He said he wanted you to call him.” You heard Mark sigh with a pout, looking down at you as if it was the last thing he wanted to do.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll, uh, call him before we go to bed, I wanna savor this moment and, um, not really think about work.” Mark was smiling. You of all people understood that more than anyone, so you were happy to let him do it. Mark was the one person that helped you forget about work and realize that sometimes living is more important, so you liked that he felt that way sometimes with you. He often told you that Johnny had to force him to focus on his happiness, so you were glad for that, but inside you knew it was nice to have someone like a partner tell you as more than a friend.

-

Baekhyun was pacing around the EXO dorm, alone. He’d debated on calling Mark for days to confirm scheduling for interviews and photoshoots with SuperM. He wanted to let Mark have his relaxation, but when it got around to him that the younger boy was hanging out with you, his anger rose high in his chest, not believing that he was still in the position to break the two of you up and he hadn’t done it. He was waiting for Mark’s text back, hoping he would come to his senses and stop ignoring his job.

Yes, Mark was technically on a short break between his schedules, but Baekhyun for some reason was the only person managers and the agency were calling to confirm the scheduling for SuperM and he was maybe getting really antsy about it, but he was annoyed that you were still parading one of his members around without him knowing your secret. He was even more annoyed that somehow you’d ended up in a groupchat with them and everyone seemed to be fine with it, even Taeyong who knew about what you were doing.

Baekhyun wasn’t new to the game, he knew how often people pretended to know nothing about them just to get closer and needless to say, it pissed him off and he just wanted everyone to be truthful and let them decide on their own terms if they wanted to pursue anything upon them knowing. Hell, even Jongdae was fine with a non-idol fan time after time and he was even getting married to one, but that was only after his own choice and decision on the matter. Baekhyun groaned loudly, noting that it was nearing four in the afternoon and he hadn’t gotten a response from Lucas or Mark.

He paced around, grumbling to himself and wishing he didn’t have a secret to tell; it was nearly eating him alive and he hated keeping secrets.

He sent Taeyong a text, knowing he’d landed back in Korea just a few days ago and he was supposed to be headed to Spain soon after days of rehearsals with the rest of 127.

Where the hell is Mark?

Baekhyun didn’t mean to be so aggressive, his junior didn’t deserve it. Back at the SM Building, Taeyong was definitely getting back into practice mode for the following 127 tour, he was always practicing for the next thing and Baekhyun knew that. It only took a few minutes before Taeyong responded. Baekhyun had the younger boy’s practice schedule practically memorized by that point.

He’s still in America!! Don’t worry, he’s okay! 😁

Baekhyun didn’t care that Mark was okay. Well, he did, but he had to care more about his new job as a leader above all. Baekhyun audibly groaned, tossing his phone on the couch and trying his best to calm down. He shook his head, annoyed and carding his fingers through his hair. He took a breather before picking his phone back up to respond.

Is he with you know who?

Baekhyun didn’t like being so vague, but he couldn’t risk someone seeing Taeyong’s phone by chance and getting a little too curious, he couldn’t risk anyone else knowing. It would be a PR nightmare if it got out that Mark was with you. Baekhyun didn’t know who was near, so he tried to be subtle. He wasn’t very good at being ominous when he was annoyed.

ummmmmm, I’m at practice, I can call you in a minute and we can talk about it 🥰

Taeyong was always really good at calming them down, always sending little emojis to relax them and Baekhyun couldn’t even try to be mad. He was disgruntled because Taeyong seemed to not be so worried about the situation, but Baekhyun had been in the dating position before and with EXO and their crazy scandals and multiple under-the-table dating situations, he could understand why Taeyong wouldn’t understand what kind of position he was in. What he didn’t know was that you and Taeyong had become somewhat friends and Baekhyun would be furious if he found out. Baekhyun just waited for the call, hoping that Taeyong would tell him it would all be okay. He was a leader himself, so maybe he would be able to help smooth things over. But Baekhyun knew. Baekhyun knew where Mark was if he wasn’t with the other part of his group and somehow the other members being so nonchalant about it annoyed him even further.

Baekhyun hadn’t even told Jongin yet about what he knew. The only person he’d really told was Jongdae and he didn’t offer much help, obviously having more important things on his own plate than a possible dating scandal that didn’t involve him. He’d been through the ringer enough and didn’t care anymore, but Baekhyun couldn’t let anyone else know because he didn’t want to seem like he was messing up his leader position already and he couldn’t afford that. Chanyeol knew and was busy with his own schedules, which was a pain in the ass because he was usually the only one who could calm Baekhyun down. He didn’t offer much more than an ear to listen when he called after the situation went down in Chicago, which wasn’t Chanyeol’s usual game. He appreciated the listening and small attempts to calm him down, but it still didn’t help the stress he was under.

Taeyong - Mobile popped up on Baekhyun’s screen and he gasped when he saw it light up, quickly scrambling to answer.

“Taeyong!”

“H-hi hyung!” Taeyong responded through heavy breaths. The background was silent, so Baekhyun hoped he was in a safe spot to talk. “What-what’s up?” Taeyong was nervous and Baekhyun could tell. He didn’t want to scare the boy, but he wanted to know what was going on.

“Mark’s still in America?” Baekhyun asked with a huff, hearing silence take up the conversation. He continued. “With-“

“Yeah, yeah he is..” Taeyong had cut him off, sighing. “He-um, stayed back to hang out, relax, spend a little alone time before we head to Spain, then back to New York, um, you know, just taking a break.” Taeyong cleared his throat, not knowing what other information to offer.

Baekhyun was pursing his lips, listening to Taeyong talk. He was frustrated, but he didn’t want to take it out on the boy. He had enough on his plate with worrying about 19 other members. “Does he know?”

Taeyong sighed again. Baekhyun tried to keep his cool.

“Does he know that he’s been getting lied to? Does he know yet?” Baekhyun repeated himself, hearing Taeyong sadly breathe through the speaker. Taeyong knew exactly what he was talking about. Taeyong was fully aware that Baekhyun was discussing your neglect to tell Mark about your knowledge of them, about the lightsticks and keychain he found in your bag and the pin nobody knew about. He’d had to hear all about it in their few moments alone in the last bit of the tour. Baekhyun wasn’t exactly quiet about his annoyance, and Taeyong was quite a bit weirded out by it, but Baekhyun was his friend so he was going to let him vent as much as he needed to.

“No..” Taeyong was quiet for a moment, silence speaking louder than words. “I-I haven’t told him.. nobody knows..” Taeyong swallowed, feeling like he needed to make a comment to hopefully calm his senior down, maybe just a little. “Mark’s just.. so happy..” He said quieter, hoping Baekhyun would understand. “Don-don’t tell him yet. Just-let him have this for a minute maybe, I-I guess I understand if you have to, but he’s really enjoying himself and.. we really like them together..” The last part fell off Taeyong’s tongue and he quickly realized he’d spoken too soon, he was in trouble.

“We?” Baekhyun scoffed, feeling a little angrier as the moments passed. He understood that Mark should be happy, but it wouldn’t stop pulling in his gut that he needed to tell Mark the truth. Taeyong felt like crying.

“We’re all, kind of, in a text with them.. Me, Johnny, Yuta, and Jaehyun,” Taeyong heard Baekhyun huff over the phone and he felt his chest get tight, he hated that Baekhyun, his senior he looked up to so much, was so upset by the situation. He just wanted everyone to be happy, Baekhyun couldn’t blame him. “We all get along well..”

“So more people know? Did you not tell them either?” Baekhyun scoffed, slumping himself on the sofa with his fingers pressed to his temples. He was going to be sick if he heard any more come from the conversation blowing up.

“I-No, no I didn’t..” Baekhyun could practically hear Taeyong pouting, he felt bad for nagging the poor boy, especially since he’d done it so much on tour and it was almost out of his ability to stop it, but he could have at least helped. Taeyong had a good head on his shoulders and for the most part his advice was looked up to and people listened to him, but he didn’t know Mark nearly as well and the guy seemed like he had a good head on his shoulders, but Baekhyun wasn’t sure anymore.

“Okay, well,” Baekhyun sighed, loudly. “I do have to tell him; otherwise it’s going to eat me alive.” Taeyong gulped again.

“I-“ Baekhyun expected a rebuttal, but Taeyong didn’t come back. “I understand, hyung.”

“I’m sorry.” Baekhyun didn’t know why he was the one apologizing, but he hated upsetting Taeyong, he hated upsetting anyone, he just wanted things to go smoothly, but they never did. He was realizing that very quickly.

“I really do get it, I wouldn’t want to be lied to either, but,” Taeyong sighed again. “Let him down easy, Mark might be a little crushed, he might be okay, I don’t really know. He’s fragile though.” Taeyong warned, much quieter than the rest of their conversation and he just wished that Baekhyun would think it over. Baekhyun was their leader after all and he called the shots. “I don’t think I have the heart to tell him.” He was honest, at least.

“Well,” Baekhyun hissed softly. “Let’s hope he’s been told, otherwise he’ll have to do some thinking and making some important decisions. For all we know, maybe he knows.”

“Okay, I understand.” Taeyong was very compliant, definitely knowing what kind of position Baekhyun was in. Baekhyun made the decision to stop the conversation immediately not to grill the boy any longer because he didn’t want to crush the poor boy’s feelings toward him. It was silent for only a moment before Baekhyun chimed in, cheerful as ever in comparison to the previous conversation.

“So, um, any idea where Lucas is?” The pair snorted over the phone, Taeyong tsk-ing through the speaker.

“Ten probably didn’t tell you his phone ended up in a lake after a very serious game of truth or dare, huh?” Taeyong was laughing, making Baekhyun finally enjoy something he was being told. It wasn’t ideal, but it was very Lucas of him.

“Oh my god.” Baekhyun laughed louder. “Okay, well I’ll just talk to Ten, then. Thank you.”

“No problem, hyung.” Taeyong was sure to sweet talk. “Call me if you need anything, okay?” It was sweet for him to offer, but Baekhyun had all the information he needed for the time being.

-

“So, you all ready and packed?” You asked Mark with a pout. It had been nice waking up and Mark had even packed before he got out of his pyjamas, so he embarrassedly was going to end up wearing his usual sleep shorts and a white t-shirt to the airport. You liked how comfortable he was with you and how dorky he was for closing his suitcases prematurely before realizing he should have changed, but he wasn’t going to risk opening the perfectly packed bags. You were busy sorting out a work issue so you couldn’t stop him before the damage was done, but it seemed fitting for Mark’s goofy personality.

“Unfortunately.” He pouted back, crawling back into bed with you and under the covers. You still had a few hours to kill before needing to bring him to catch his flight, so at least he would be comfortable, pulling the blankets over the two of you and practically wrapping himself around you like a koala in regret of having to leave. He’d forgotten to call Baekhyun back, but he had a plan to do it once he got through customs and waited for boarding. He liked leaving work behind sometimes, even if it got him in trouble, but he understood when you couldn’t do the same.

“So, are we going to cuddle until we have to leave, or?” You teased him, kissing his forehead and grinning at how giggly he got.

“I mean, I guess, until I get bored or something.” He was smiling even bigger, looking up at you with stars in his eyes. So, you both did just that, laying together and trying to remember to make sure Mark had grabbed everything he could’ve possibly brought. He made sure to remind you that he was always forgetting things, but he was actually fully prepared, so it made the last few hours uneventful. “But at the same time, it’s nice to just lay here with you.”

“Sappy.” You taunted, scooting down the bed and nuzzling into his neck.

“Yeah, yeah.” He laughed, squeezing you tightly and sighing softly into your t-shirt. “You don’t mind though.” You both laughed, sighing again.

“I absolutely do not!” You reminded him. “I love spending time with you and hearing all the cute things you have to say.” You shrugged, feeling how warm he felt, his heartbeat racing in his chest. You stayed quiet for a moment, just staying in each other’s embrace, enjoying the sweet silence as you lay together. “I like your voice.” The silence was different after your last statement, words hanging off the tip of his tongue as he idly fiddled with the fabric of your top.

“I-um.” Mark started to speak, his words catching in his throat. “I love you.” It came out all at once, no warning. His voice was firm, but shaky and you were more than taken by shock, swallowing and trying to process the words you’d just heard. He just told you he loved you and it had you staring at the wall, feeling like you couldn’t breathe, heartbeat pounding in your ears.

There was nothing that could’ve prepared you for the feeling you felt to hear that come from Mark.

It was an odd silence, from the both of you, taking in the weight of the confession and you tried to come up with a half decent response. You loved Mark, you loved spending time with him, but you hadn’t quite thought about it in that way, you were definitely feeling close to being in love with him, it just wasn’t something you predicted, maybe you thought it would fizzle out and the dream would end before you got to that point in your relationship. It didn’t feel like that moment would come.

“You-uh, you don’t- you don’t need to say it back I-“ Mark cut your thoughts off, pulling you out of your head. You needed to hear it; he was the king of making you feel better. “I just thought I should probably tell you, like.” He laughed softly. “I’ve never really done this before, obviously.” He was smiling again; you felt his cheek press against the top of your head. You picked your own head up, pulling away to look at him, his smiling face with the brightest blush on his cheeks. He was almost too cute. You leaned up to him, pressing a firm kiss on his mouth. You didn’t need to say much to him, just being with him was enough, you could sort your feelings out later, but you needed to let him know you were still in it as long as he was.

“I like you a lot.” You reminded him, squeezing him tight into a hug and pecking his lips once again. You wanted to say it back so badly, but you weren’t sure, you needed to think about it at least for a minute and reevaluate your feelings to make sure it was right. “I really do.”

“And that’s fine.” Mark was giggling softly, as if a weight had been lifted from his chest as he scooted up the bed, leaning his head against yours and sighing. “We can talk about it later, okay?” It seemed like he was taking the words out of your mouth, relaxing into the his position and trying to calm down from his confession.

“Okay.” You nodded, biting your lip and trying not to seem too excited. But you were definitely excited, and your feelings were overwhelmed. You thought for a moment about what the right move would be, but you found nothing. “Wanna have sex?” You asked, biting your lip. It felt right and you both couldn’t help from giggling like children.

“I-um, yeah.” Mark nodded, kissing you once again. “Yeah I do.”

Of course, you were intimate one last time before he left, it only felt right.

Once you both pulled yourselves back together, after some heartfelt kissing and getting back dressed, you knew it was time to start heading out to grab a bite to eat and make your way to the airport to separate for who knew how long. Soon he’d be in Spain, then right back in America, so it wouldn’t be too bad. Plus, you doubted contact would be a problem, Mark was a pretty good texter and you’d had enough conversations on the way to lunch and the airport that you were full of conversational topics for probably the next month.

“And here’s your stop.” You pouted softly as you parked in the airport lot, seeing Mark pull on his face mask and hat to return to his idol life. It was amazing how well you two kept quiet to the public, much easier than you thought it would be. People from your part of Los Angeles paid attention to themselves for the most part unless celebrities were specifically supposed to be somewhere. He leaned over and gently kissed you before tugging the mask over his mouth.

“Walk me in!” Mark said excitedly, nudging your arm and his eyes showed he was grinning like a fool. “We’ll get a couple more minutes together.”

You rolled your eyes. “Fine.” You didn’t hate airports, but you weren’t the biggest fan of them, plus it was dangerous in case someone recognized him leaving, and you couldn’t keep your hands to yourself, plus it was daylight. However, you’d do it for Mark. You parked, getting out and helping him grab his bags of, thankfully, mostly fresh and clean laundry. At least you could be useful for something to him.

You walked with your arms by your sides, just in case, and walked one of his bags as he had the other.  

He still hadn’t called Baekhyun yet and that worried you just a little, but you wouldn’t comment on it, it was his business. And sure enough, as you finished checking his bags in, Mark’s phone was ringing again. Mark sighed heavily as he glanced down at the name, shaking his head. He had 2 missed calls from his senior from the night before, but he was waiting until the last possible moment and it seemed like, as if he was on queue and ready. It was time. Mark sighed sadly, finally picking up the phone.

“Hey,” Mark started, swallowing and trying his best not to be annoyed that he was being brought back to work prematurely. “Yeah, I’m at the airport now, my flight leaves in an hour.” His voice flowed smoothly and he knew he was in trouble, but he would try to lighten the blow by being forward and polite.

You worried slightly, but you had to trust he was alright. He sighed heavily.

“Yeah, I’ll call you as soon as I land down.” He was nodding again, pursing his lips together and waiting to stand in line to go through customs. You heard Baekhyun speaking quietly over the phone. “Noon, tomorrow.” You weren’t sure what was being said, but you could tell he wanted to get off the phone already and hug you goodbye, checking around you to make sure nobody was around, and he wasn’t being followed. It came with the job you guessed. “Okay, I’ll see you then. Bye, hyung.” Mark groaned as soon as he was off the phone, looking back up at you with a sad smile. “Back to work, I suppose.” He snorted, sighing again.

“I’ll see you later, yeah?” You said softly, admiring how even with a mask on, he still looked adorable. He answered with a nod. “Tell the guys I said hi.” You both snorted. You hadn’t gotten a chance to meet anybody but the members in SuperM, but you hoped your friendship would hold.

“I’ll see you later.” Mark nodded again, stepping forward and hugging you close, warm and inviting as if leaving was the last thing he wanted to do.

“Hey, Mark.” Your voice spoke up before you could stop it. You’d been thinking about Mark’s confession all day and came to the realization quickly, but it was hard to register you were going to say it. The words hadn’t really come out so quickly with anyone ever. “I love you.” You announced quietly, ignoring the heat of your face. Mark sighed, but this time it sounded much more relieved. You did love Mark. You suddenly wanted to shout it from the rooftops. It had been stuck in your throat for longer than you wanted it to, and Mark felt like fresh air and it was all so new, but you just had to find the words and the right time. That was it. It felt so early, but not early enough all the same.

“I love you too.” He whispered before walking backwards into the line of checking himself in. You watched him glance at your lips as he walked and you so badly wanted to run forward to kiss him, but the situation made it impossible. You’d hold out. “I’ll see you soon! Promise!” He shouted half-heartedly, finally separating from you and going through the doors for security. You couldn’t wait to see him again.

-

Taeyong could stop the heartbreak, he knew he could, but he didn’t know if he had the heart to crush Mark like that. He knew how much Mark liked being truthful, up front, and honest, but Taeyong could see and got told often how much fun he had with you and how much he liked you, so he didn’t know how to either bring it up or stop Baekhyun from doing it. Taeyong was going to do it when Mark got back; he made up his mind to get to him before Baekhyun did, he thought he could bring the blow easier than someone with such pent up anger about the situation. Mark would be farther away from you and maybe take it better and Taeyong could help calm him down, so that was his plan.

But Taeyong was a bit too late. He thought Mark would get picked up by their drivers and go immediately to the shared dorm, not get picked up by Baekhyun himself. Taeyong was too busy with his own schedules to even think of that possibility.

It was a long flight, Mark had been too preoccupied and giggly to get any rest, excited for how his future was going, especially leaving the two of you on such a good note. He was feeling amazing, almost too good to be true, but he would try his best not to jinx it. He took the liberty of making a playlist to remind him of good times with you and the songs that made him feel excited throughout the last few weeks. He felt cheesy for it, but it would entertain him and keep his mind busy.

The flight felt like it was going by fast, watching movies and letting his mind drift off to his fun time spent. He finally felt like he’d had a vacation, a real one without cameras or the people he was always with. He felt relaxed and excited for how he’d be spending his next few weeks. He knew he had the parade with 127 in New York, but even just the thought of being close and on similar time zones again was keeping him so excited. The fact that he had another show with SuperM in February to come made it even more bearable because he knew he’d be close to you and he was already planning all his visits in advance.

Mark felt good and in control for the first time since he debuted. It was a relatively foreign feeling, but he wouldn’t change it for the world. Mark was pretty stoked, to say the least. He sighed happily as he watched his movies and had a few drinks with nobody bothering him on the plane. It was safe to say he thought it couldn’t get any better. He was absolutely sad to leave you, but he knew it wouldn’t be long before he saw you again.

Mark kept checking his phone, going through the pictures you’d taken together and grinning at the stupid selfies and off-guard pictures he’d gotten of you. They were going to be what kept him grounded, he knew it. He sighed happily, trying to at least get a nap in toward the last quarter of the flight, knowing it would be nearing midnight in the states and Baekhyun was famous for taking people’s time and rewarding them with lunch. He didn’t know how much sleep he would get in, but the jet lag would probably make it worse.

When Mark woke up, he was a little more than surprised to see the how bright the light was, signaling that he would be landing soon, and he’d be back at home. He was well rested, but something in his gut didn’t feel right. He hadn’t talked to you through the whole duration of his flight, unfortunately the Wi-Fi wasn’t working, and it was finally starting to settle inside of him how much he missed you, even if he’d just spent days with you and he’d see you again soon. As soon as he stepped off the plane he would be back to work and it hit him that his fantasy world was over so quickly. He frowned a bit, sighing and staring out of the window until he landed, his earphones playing the playlist as he tried to relax. He always forgot how much he hated sleeping on a plane ride, waking up made him feel restless and anxious.

Deboarding made Mark feel a little more easy, grabbing his bags and sighing as he walked out. He figured he was just sad to go back to work, sad to be stressed out again, and sad to be back on an intense schedule, but he knew with time he would get over it; get back into his routine and feel good about it all again. He made his way out of the plane, walking through the airport he knew so well to grab his bags and get back home. Maybe being home and cozy in his bed would make him feel better. Or he’d pout for a few days while on his schedules. Either was possible.

He walked outside after grabbing his bags, a yawn pulling from his mouth when he saw the cloudy skies and tried to make his way out of the airport. Jet lag was going to be a pain in the ass after being in the states for so long. What kind of car did Baekhyun drive again? He thought, sighing heavily when he heard a horn beep from a car he recognized as his senior’s, hoping nobody would approach or stop him. Mark didn’t want to be bothered at that moment, especially by fans.

Mark heard one loud “Lee Mark!” that pulled his attention, only one fan that waved at him and quickly scattered away. He shot them a soft smile and wave, thankful that it wasn’t going to be an issue. He didn’t know if he could handle an issue. Baekhyun got out of the vehicle, quieter than Mark had ever heard him, and he helped Mark put his bags in the trunk, giving him a silent and small ‘welcome home’ to be more welcoming, but as soon as he realized that Baekhyun was too quiet, he knew something was up. Baekhyun was nowhere near a quiet person, usually excited and bubbly and talking about anything and everything when he saw anyone. Mark was in trouble. He didn’t know what for, but the way Baekhyun’s face stiffly smiled at him, something was definitely wrong. He had a feeling he should be quiet, but the silence was deafening as his elder slipped into the vehicle.

“Um, hey-hey hyung.” Mark shot him a soft smile when he got in, trying to ease the weight of whatever was going to happen. He knew it was something bad, his gut nagging at him.

“How was your trip?” Baekhyun’s voice was harsh behind the words, making Mark gulp. He didn’t know if he should answer truthfully or not, because neither seemed like the right way, but he wanted to remain truthful. He wasn’t aware of Baekhyun’s feelings toward you, but he knew ignoring his work responsibilities for a relationship he wasn’t allowed to be in wasn’t his smartest move with his leader and responsibilities.

“It was actually, um, really nice, yeah. I had a good time. I relaxed.” He said honestly, dancing around the subject. Mark tried to smile again, looking forward and trying to ignore the heavy beating in his chest.

“Well, I-“ Baekhyun cleared his throat, almost an annoyance in his scoff. “I’m glad you had a good time, but you could’ve been a little more responsible.” Mark gulped again, hearing the obvious bite in Baekhyun’s tone. Mark felt his phone vibrating in his pocket, but he knew it would be better to ignore it for the time being. Whatever it was could wait, he was technically dealing with business. Baekhyun sighed and Mark could tell he was trying to calm himself down. “Why don’t we-why don’t I take you to lunch?” He asked the younger boy. “My treat.”

“That-um, sounds like you’ve got something scary to tell me.” Mark laughed nervously, scratching the hair on the back of his neck in hopes that he was wrong. He wasn’t.

“Yeah, well.” Baekhyun scoffed again, shrugging and Mark knew he was about to be crushed. He was hoping to be grilled about being responsible, he hoped that he’d just get chewed out; he could handle that. He knew he’d been loosely handling his schedules and been a bit sloppy, so he was okay with getting a good talking-to. His stomach hurt, nerves building in his abdomen and the last thing he wanted to hear was that he had to break it off with you; he wasn’t sure he could handle that. You’d been the source of his happiness and an escape for weeks now and he didn’t want to lose it.

Baekhyun had brought Mark to one of his favorite restaurants, trying to ease the blow of what he had to say a little. Mark hated to be let down and every time he thought about the possible bad news he’d be getting, his heart would start racing a million miles a minute and his tension had Baekhyun resisting. He went against his better judgement because he knew he would get angry, but he switched to a subject he knew would perk the boy up. You.

Baekhyun listened half-heartedly hearing him talk about you because he pushed to know what actually went down while Mark was ignoring him in America. He wanted to be told the truth and it came gushing from Mark’s mouth. Baekhyun had no interest in you at all, in fact he was actually pretty pissed that Mark did have such a good time and it upset him to have to rain on his parade because of something you could have controlled. Mark had clearly attempted to forget about the conversation they were supposed to be having, trying to focus in on the food and being optimistic when Baekhyun actually asked about you through gritted teeth. He ignored the undertone in his voice and spoke excitedly at the mention of you.

Mark was focused on the hole in their conversation for a few moments finishing his main course when he heard Baekhyun go quiet. The two of them sitting in an awkward quietness was eating Mark up and when his senior was tapping his fingers on the table, he knew it was time to speak up. “So-“ Mark cleared his throat. “What-what were you gonna, um, talk to me about?”

Baekhyun sighed heavily, he’d prolonged the conversation and heard Mark drone on about you for long enough. It was time. “Your friend.” Mark choked a little. He knew the subject would be about that, but the way Baekhyun brought it up felt weird. He was just talking about you and Baekhyun was the one who asked about you in the first place. What had changed so quickly that Baekhyun was suddenly changing his bad news to being about you.

“Wh-what’s it about?” Mark tried to ignore the pounding in his chest.

“I really don’t think you should see each other anymore.” The ball dropped. Baekhyun deadpanned, lips pursed in slight annoyance at the statement that had to come out of his mouth, holding back what he really needed to say. “It’s not what you think is going on, and I’d really like to save you from the seriousness of dating as an idol. It isn’t pretty.” He continued. “Things get dangerous, people aren’t nice. You can’t risk things like this for people. I mean for god sakes we have a dating ban for a reason.” Baekhyun scoffed. Mark had debuted four times; he was well aware of how dating and stuff like that went in the contract and maybe he had been a little careless in telling so many people, so he vaguely thought that’s what Baekhyun was talking about.

“I-I know, but,”

“I’m not finished, there’s more to this than you think.” Baekhyun didn’t know why he couldn’t find the words. Maybe he just really didn’t want to let the boy down. He sighed, trying to gather his thoughts. “People-“ He sighed. “People just aren’t what you think they are, okay?”

Mark’s eyes narrowed. He could tell Baekhyun was avoiding what he wanted to say. “What is this..actually about, hyung?” Mark swallowed, knowing exactly where the conversation could lead. Baekhyun was fishing into his pocket, grumbling quietly under his breath and tugging something out before tossing it on the table. Mark was even more confused now. Sitting in front of him was a broken NCT keychain and a photocard of Baekhyun’s face. The very ones he had taken from your suitcase and wallet. Maybe it was an extreme violation of your privacy that Baekhyun suddenly felt very aware of, but he had to have something to back himself up. “I don’t understand, what is this stuff?” Mark said seriously, raising a brow and eyeballing the items.

“I found this in your friend’s belongings.” Baekhyun shrugged, leaning back in his chair. He was being cryptic, and Mark didn’t like it.

“Stop saying it’s my friend, we’re dating.” He spat, the first time he’d gotten stern with anyone. Mark was continually more and more lost.

“Your friend,” Baekhyun repeated firmly. “This keychain was in the suitcase in the room you two were staying in when you graciously had someone follow us on tour when that’s strictly forbidden. It was broken off to obviously hide something. The photocards however were in the wallet from the desk, along with a Lucas one, so it seems highly unlikely that it was just coincidence. It’s from the Exodus album, so it can’t really be played off as a SuperM album card they just so happened to pick up for fun just by chance, it was pre-planned. I’m not stupid; I can put two and two together.” Baekhyun was generally a good guesser, speaking entirely too formerly and rehearsed to a T, and unfortunately he was correct. You had broken the keychain off and you weren’t proud of it, but that keychain was way past your mind the second it was off of your wallet and you hadn’t even noticed the missing photocard at all. “And dating?” Baekhyun scoffed. “You’ve known each other for like two months, give me a break.” He words felt harsh and Mark gulped. He couldn’t believe that Baekhyun would have gone through your things. It didn’t seem like his type.

“You…went through a suitcase that wasn’t yours?” He scoffed. “Were you, like, trying to find something?” Mark was irritated and there was no hiding it.

“I was, actually.” Baekhyun stated firmly, not caring what Mark had to say about it. He’d found his footing and was ready to throw it all on the table. “Something seemed fishy and I shouldn’t have done it, but it led me here.” The older shrugged. “You know what else was in that suitcase?” He asked, tapping his fingers on the table.

“What?” Mark asked angrily, rolling his eyes and he couldn’t believe someone he trusted so much was basically spitting in his face.

“Literally every one of our lightsticks.” Baekhyun squinted a little, not really liking the attitude Mark was giving him. “There was one for everybody and the only one I ever saw outside of it was the SuperM one. It’s not a good sign, man. You’ve been getting lied to and you got trapped into dating a fan, without even knowing. It’s happened to so many of us, dude and it’s devastating, like-“

“I-I-I-“ Mark sighed. “I honestly, like, don’t really believe you.” It was the first time Mark ever talked back to his senior, earning a soft laugh from him.

“I know you don’t, I’m not dumb.” Baekhyun shrugged, thanking the waiter when he’d dropped off the dessert and check. “But if you trust me, I know what I’m talking about. I looked into your friend’s Instagram and found some posts, stuff saying about how much you’re loved and all three of them, the ones that that threw the first party you went to, all bias you and Lucas. They got deleted but I have screenshots.” Baekhyun moved to pull his phone out but Mark quickly stopped him. Mark could swear he felt his own heart break.

“Don’t-don’t show me.” Mark shook his head, looking down at the table. Maybe Baekhyun was right. Mark couldn’t believe it; he didn’t want to. He was just stunned to hear that you’d been lying to him for months. He hated being lied to, everyone knew that, and he wanted to have just a simple relationship and when he thought he finally had it, the idea was slipping through his fingers. He didn’t want to be in the situation at all, he didn’t want to disappoint Baekhyun, he just wanted a little happiness and suddenly, he was very aware of how much trouble he had caused. He was scared, angry, confused. He didn’t know what to do.

“I have them if it eases your mind. It’s your choice.” Baekhyun shrugged, taking a sip from his drink and sighing. He wanted to let Mark process, maybe he’d feel better. “If it makes you feel any better, Taeyong knows and he think’s everything’s peachy, so.” Baekhyun shrugged, sighing.

“Wait, wait wait.” Mark scoffed. “Taeyong knew? And he didn’t tell me?”

“He didn’t want to hurt you, he liked how happy you were.” Baekhyun said honestly. “I didn’t really want to tell you either, but aren’t you glad you know?” Mark tried hard not to be appalled at the question.

“I-um,” He sighed. “I wish I could say yes, but, like, a part of me feels like I wish I didn’t.” Mark spoke honestly before he groaned, putting his face in his hands. “I’ve literally always been told I’m so naive and this really tops the cake.”

“So, what are you going to do?” Baekhyun asked, trying to push the solution on. Mark didn’t like figuring things out like this, but Baekhyun was ridiculously stubborn and he was going to want an answer before they left the table even if it was hard on him.

Mark was beyond answering that question, sitting in silence and ignoring the dessert on the table. He’d wanted it so badly before, but now his stomach was deceiving him. “I, like,” He sighed again. “I really don’t know.” In his head, the situation could have so easily been solved had you been honest with him, but he was there across the world, without you to talk to about it and you had to absolutely have been sleeping. He knew you had to go to work after he left and he hoped you’d had a decent shift, but he couldn’t lie and say he wanted to talk to you about it. He didn’t. He was the master of avoiding those kinds of situations, but he just needed some time to think. “I kinda think I should talk to Taeyong.”

Baekhyun nodded, shoving the plate of dessert toward Mark.

“No, thanks.” Mark shook his head, sighing and unlocking his phone to see that you’d texted him a few times. He didn’t have the heart to look right then, his head was much too fuzzy and he didn’t want to be mad at you so soon, but it felt like his whole world was crashing down in front of him even if it was all so new. He should’ve taken the time to realize that such an issue so soon should have been the end of it all, but he felt so wrong. He felt disgusted with himself. What would everyone else think? He’d put his friends in danger by introducing you in the first place. The room was spinning slightly and he didn’t know what to do.  

“Let’s get you home.” Mark could only nod, following Baekhyun out after he signed the receipt.

The ride home was way too quiet, Baekhyun only turning up the radio to break the silence. Mark stared out the window and felt like a child having a tantrum, but he didn’t have the energy to do anything else. Mark shot Baekhyun a quick “thanks” when he pulled up to the dorms, letting him out and Baekhyun went home himself, hoping to at least hear from Mark soon about how he felt. He didn’t expect much, he did just crush the guy. Only time could tell what would happen.