#now I'm autistic adult

[thesecretingredientislove]

Nobody:

Autistic children at elementary school when they were sent to "have fun with the other kids":

[t00thpasteface]

"it's very problematic to make your space aliens autistic-coded" SPEAK FOR YOURSELF 👽👽👽👽👽🛸🛸🛸 ALIEN LASER BLAST ATTACK ✨✨✨🌠🌠🌠🌠🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

[lunarharp]

uhh another modern au agott follow-up. They've gotten progressively sillier

[shalom-iamcominghome]

Alright. Here's the plan.

I tell my nonjewish family my hebrew birthday (26 Iyar). They now know I have two birthdays. They celebrate both of them. I get two days of cakes because of this (I am winning at Having Birthdays, something both reasonable to want and possible to achieve).

[manichewitz]

i wish less of the conversation around being a gifted kid/former gifted kid is about the pressure of academic achievement and success and more about the complete lack of resources for learning to manage every day life. because tbh after i left high school, the pressure to succeed in school pretty much went away because it didn't matter nearly as much what grades i was getting in college. what did matter was that i had absolutely no way to take care of myself or manage my life, because i had a disability that had been completely ignored for 18 years. i have autism and adhd--the problems i had once i graduated high school weren't feeling inadequate when i got a B on a paper. the problem was that i wasn't eating, showering, sleeping, brushing my teeth, showing up to classes on time, or talking to people for days and weeks on end, because my executive dysfunction, sensory processing issues, and social anxiety were getting in the way of my life.

personally, i think that's the real price of being a "gifted kid" (i'm talking about myself here--lots of neurodivergent ppl experience this even if they weren't gifted). it isn't just that i was expected to excel at everything and then shamed when i acted like a flawed human, it was that those expectations distracted everyone from actually trying to help me function in society. and now as an adult i have to contend with the fact that i suffered my whole life from a disability because people were just too ableist to accept that, despite having good grades, i still needed help. i needed to learn how to take care of myself and function in the world for fucks sake

[prefrontal-bastard]

(Context: I'm AuDHD and have ZERO ability to do the thing when I think about doing the thing. I'm trying a new stimulant, Azstarys, and it's given me that ability.)

What it's like having executive function: The moment I think about doing something, it's done. For the first time ever I can make my body move as fast as I can think.

I've been awake for 5½ hours and this is what I've completed:

Went to say hi to a friend for his birthday, which involved: Driving across town, driving into downtown, and finding parking at a parking meter to go to an unfamiliar restaurant.

Dropped him and his wife off back at their house, which involved: Navigating on slippery and unfamiliar roads at night on semi-plowed roads.

Got home and cleaned my room, which involved: Putting all the crap I had strewn about into bins, putting the bins into the halls, picking garbage off the floor, pulling out the broom and dustpan, sweeping, pulling out the vacuum, vacuuming, pulling out furniture, pushing the furniture back, walking up and down the basement stairs to get things, putting the broom back, putting the vacuum back, putting the bins with crap back into my room to sort through later.

Made myself a milkshake, which involved: Pulling out all ingredients, making the milkshake, putting all the ingredients back, and hand-washing the blender and lid. And then I cleaned the few dishes left in the sink and cleaned the sink itself because it looked a little crusty.

The main takeaway I've learned from all this?

Efficiency is a bio-mechanical function, and how well this mechanical function works is NOT a matter of self-discipline or willpower.

When you have working executive function—when it doesn't cause your nervous system pain to set-switch and to execute tasks—doing tasks is EASY. SO EASY. MINDLESS. The moment I'd think about doing something, my body is suddenly doing it.

Additionally, none of this exhausted me. None of it inflicted pain on my nervous system. In fact, the only reason why I'd stop doing a task is purely because it gets boring to do, NOT because I'm burning out from constant pain-exposure.

Fuck literally everyone who claims this shit's a matter of willpower or discipline. If it feels like that to them, then that's testament to just how fucking easy they have it.

[mindstriker]

just saw a post that kicked my brain violently into 4th gear on the topic of neurodivergent kids who had to learn that eloquence was not in fact seen as a positive trait by other kids, and how difficult being "casual" can be- and holy shit? me? story of my life?

people hated the way I talked. they still do, some of the time- if I actually say my words the way they want to come out. a lot of words and terms come to mind- pretentious, ridiculous, formal, cold, try-hard, snobby, overly talkative (that one is true, honestly)- the list goes on. all of these words have been used to directly describe my behavior in terms of communication, since I was young.

as a result, as an adult, I can't even speak naturally without worrying that I'm either:

a) coming across as fake, like I'm behaving unnaturally/ acting like a caricature or character instead of acting naturally

b) coming across as any of those words and terms used above, mainly overly formal or pretentious

c) coming across as someone who takes themselves too seriously (i really don't, honest to god. i am an absolute jester of a person and my daily schedule reads like a fucking sitcom bit)

it even affects my writing. years of having people absolutely despise the way I speak have taught me to hate the way I think and talk to the extent that my own writing sounds like the product of a massive try-hard to me- even when other people praise it.

TLDR: thinking about the extent to which my speech patterns have been modified over the years by people really fucking hating the odd (but harmless) shit i said as a kid. the world is not a kind place to twelve year olds who thought salutations was a fun way to say hi

[shimmerluna]

YRTS: Sara I

view context and the rest of the series here!

Is Sara "ungrateful," or is she tired of being treated like a child by both her mother and her little brother when she's trying to move on from the way she was bullied?

I see why they might've been more protective of her while she was at Marieberg, but she's clearly growing up and trying to move on and gain autonomy/independence, and they won't stop treating her like she can't take care of herself. That wasn't necessarily the issue she was having, though; the problem was that people didn't like her as a person and bullied her because of how they perceived her, not that she was actually incompetent in any way. Now that she doesn't have to deal with bullying, she's doing much better, and it might feel like her family is holding her back in the Marieberg times with their helicoptering.

[dandylovesturtles]

Please tell me something about the Shape of Water AU I'm very curious

this is just the doc title for my "100 Feet and a World Away" AU! I have the lore post linked in my pinned.

tldr: the boys get kidnapped young and raised in a lab by humans who aren't aware they have human level intelligence, and they try to escape.

I posted a bit about Donnie (aka Turtle Four) eating french fries awhile ago but here, have the rest of the scene too:

April unwraps something. The smell assaults his nose - greasy meat, cheese, that red vegetable he’s seen sometimes - and he slips into the water and swims over, popping out just shy of the fence.

“I’m sorry, are you eating during our escape planning meeting?”

“Don’t start with me,” she says, holding up a hand. “I had to work through breakfast to catch up on my homework for my morning classes, then work through lunch to catch up on my homework for my afternoon classes, and then I worked through dinner to catch up on everything else.” She takes a bite, chews, swallows. “This is the first chance I’ve had to eat all day.”

“Huff! Fine. But did you have to bring something with so much…” he flails his hands, “smell?”

“It’s just a burger. What, you never had a burger before?”

He stares at her. She catches his eye, and then lowers her gaze.

“Right. Stupid question.”

“Sometimes the humans bring those. The burgers, you said? They eat them around noon.” He thinks of it with distaste. He can remember exactly which of the humans tend to chew with their mouths open, or talk with food in their mouths. It makes him feel slimy when he watches. 

“We call that “lunch”,” April says. She looks at the burger, then back at Four. It’s with an expression he doesn’t understand, but he’s noticed from her more and more. “Do you want to try it?”

He hesitates. He doesn’t know if he wants to or not. The smell is overwhelming, and he isn’t sure how it will taste. How it will feel, in his mouth.

No one ever offers him food, though.

“...I’m perfectly fine with my nutrition blocks,” he finally says.

“Oh come on, Donnie, that’s not food.”

“It is. It gives me all the vitamins and minerals I need. And…” He stumbles over what he wants to say. He hates when he does that, but he doesn’t know the words for what he’s trying to convey. He wishes he had a bigger vocabulary. He wishes he were allowed to read.

Wishes get him nowhere. He has to focus on the task at hand. Only, April doesn’t seem to want to continue with their escape planning unless he makes a decision about the burger.

“...And?” she prompts, startling him.

“...I don’t know… some food… feels weird,” he finally says.

“Feels weird?”

“In my mouth.”

For a moment she just stares at him. He guesses he must have said something weird. Humans must not care about how food feels in their mouth. Maybe that’s just a turtle thing.

Or maybe his brothers don’t think that way either. Maybe it’s just a Four thing.

But then April’s eyes go a little wider, and she says, “Ooooh. You have texture issues, huh?”

“Texture?”

“Yeah. How the food feels. Some people get really bothered by it; guess you do, too.”

Oh. So it’s not just a Four thing. There’s a whole name for it. He learned something new! How exciting!

“Yes!” he declares. He feels more confident about it now. “I have texture issues!”

She laughs at that. It’s not a mean laugh. He’s not sure why what he said was funny, though, but before he can ask she’s tearing off a small piece of the meat on the side of the burger she didn’t bite.

“Here. Just try it.” She slips it through the gaps in the chain-link, where he can get to it. “If it feels bad, you can just spit it out. I won’t be mad.”

She’s always telling him that. That she won’t be mad. He doesn’t know why; he’s never seen her get mad, at least not at him. But she always tells him that anyway.

It makes him feel better, somehow, even though that’s illogical.

He takes the meat gingerly in his fingers and looks at it. It doesn’t look particularly appetizing. The smell is a lot, but not so bad now that he’s getting used to it. He likes meat - not that he’s had it much. Maybe it will be fine.

He puts it in his mouth and immediately knows it isn’t. He doesn’t like the way the meat falls apart. He can’t describe it, he just knows it’s wrong.

He spits it out. April said she wouldn’t be mad.

“No good, huh?” she asks. She doesn’t sound mad.

“No. It was bad, actually.”

“Hmm, alright…” She glances around, then grabs the sack and pulls out something else: a small container of something thin and golden brown. “Wanna try a french fry?”

“A french fry?”

“It’s just a fried potato.” She pulls one of the thin stick-things (french fry) out of the container and pokes it through the fence. “Here!”

He takes it, looking it over suspiciously. It has the same greasy smell as the burger, but it’s not meat, it’s “potato,” so it must have a different texture.

He nibbles the end, and oh.

It’s actually good!

He devours the rest of the fry. She laughs again, and when he looks back at her she’s smiling.

“Alright, so the fries are a winner. Here, have some more!”

She slips a few more through the fence, and then a few more. Four happily eats all the fries she passes him. They taste nothing like the nutrition blocks, they taste better than the nutrition blocks, and they don’t feel bad in his mouth, not even a little.

“When I get out of here,” he says, after downing the last one, “I’ll eat like this every day.”

“Maybe not fries every day. They’re pretty unhealthy.” She shrugs. “But there’s all kinds of other things out there for you to try! We’ll figure out all the foods you like to eat.”

[snootlestheangel]

Autism Mood of The Day

Being so frustrated about every little thing and crying because you don't know how to express your emotions.

So then you end up crying in front of your parents and make them uncomfortable/feel frustrated cause they don't know why you're crying "ItS nOt ThAt BiG oF a DeAl" or they don't know how to help

[hobsyllwin]

So crazy and insane and evil that the most uniquely delicious gummy candy ever is something I can only find at mexican party stores on an unreliable basis

you do not understand. The flavor. They don't really actually taste like citrus? They don't even taste like any other gummy I've ever had. The taste almost reminds me of... jello somehow? Or those weirdly delicious vitamin gummies? Fuck. They're fucking good. And I can't find that taste anywhere else. idk what they're even called past "orange slice gummies". No they taste nothing like these

these make my mouth sting and stick to my teeth and very heavily taste like oranges. completely different candy. a false god. do u get me

[sophiethewitch1]

in my hater era

[snufkin1970]

me, a questing adventurer (questioning autistic person) fulfilling my adventure's calling by trying and failing to decipher the ancient magic runes (the dsm5)

[luckylunatix]

In hindsight I think maybe my attachment to Stellaluna as a kid was an autism thing. Both in the sense of it being a special interest and also cuz I relate to Stellaluna since being autistic does kinda feel like being a bat among birds.

[luigis-slut]

So did any other autistic people have ABA therapists encourage your parents to have you participate in a "variety of activities" as a young kid to prevent you from developing special interests?

Did that prevent you from practicing an activity long-term, thus keeping you from being good at anything? And as an adult, did that inhibit your ability to develop hobbies and find interests that you're passionate about?

Because that’s sure what it did to me.

[mario-art]

PE, short-term memory and school in general - my horsemen of the apocalypse. 0/10, do not recommend

(this post depicts my own experience and was created as a way to cope with/understand the diagnosis and as a result of re-evaluating 20+ years of life. please, feel free to reblog)