#now go take your pills

[ohgoditssnek]

It's this time of the month when snek complains about bungo stray dogs.

However, this time it is not entirely about bsd and more about general portrail of Lovecraft inspired characters in media. But since im too busy working on my diploma to write an actual paper about this topic, i will default to just being disappointed in bsd writing. And bsd Lovecraft is a good example.

So, anyways. Lovecraft is boring af as a character. I assume there is a piece of media that managed to make him fun that i missed, but bsd Lovecraft is nothing. So most of the others. And the reason is that they aren't based on the writer himself, but rather on one of his works. His nothing but a shallow Call of Cthulhu reference. Silly eldritch tentacle monster. In bsd his just a prop, standing there, being...tired. Yeah, yeah, Cthulhu sleeping in the depths of the ocean. I get it.

I assume Lovecraft as a person isn't very exciting. But the idea of making him into tentacle critter is even less exciting. That's the first thing that comes to mind and it's boring and unimaginative. That sort of interpretation just tells me that you don't know anything about the author really. It's the same thing as basing Lewis Carroll character ENTIRELY on Alice in wonderland.

If you want to make Lovecraft character based on his work at least choose less obvious one. Call of Cthulhu isn't even good. Lovecraft has much more interesting compelling works than this one. I know. I read all of them. I had a hypefixation moment, that's why I care about Lovecraft do much. I know too much information about him.

And H. P. Lovecraft is an IDIOT. He's STUPID. He's such a prick not like other girls hikka that it's hilarious. This man roleplayed with his panpals, he was talking about food SO MUCH in his letters, he kinned every 18-19 century poet and writer, he was an Edgar Allan Poe fangirl. Lovecraft was such a mess, I'd like to talk to him really. He wouldn't like me probably, because I'm not American and not even western European. And we both have such horrible social anxiety, we'd just sit in awkward silence and then I'd infodump about bees and dsmp lore and break him like a victorian child, unless he'd actually find concept of Minecraft roleplay interesting... BUT ANYWAYS BACK TO THE TOPIC.

Bsd Lovecraft is nothing but a plot device. He's there to be big scary monster for soukoku to fight. Nothing wrong with big scary monster to fight it's just. He has no personality, there's nothing exciting about him, no interesting thoughts or interpretations. Just an eldritch monster.

But you can make him so much more than that. He could be so out of touch with reality because his only source of information about society were old literature book, just like real life Lovecraft grew up petty much in isolation with a company of century old stories. Make him complain about humans, make him obsessed fashion, because he wants to look like a real gentlemen, but then he misses the point entirely. Just like real Lovecraft did. You can make his reason for helping Fitzgerald not some shady contract, but his own will to do something for a noble cause. There's so much more that you can do with him, instead of making him into apathetic wall with do a scary button.

But why bother writing all that for a background character who's only on screen for half an hour?

Why bother including him at all? I'm sure there's a way to do a soukoku moment without him in the narrative. Bsd has do many characters it won't make a difference if you remove someone of them. What's the point of forcing in a character if you not interested in making them fun or exploring them.

It's the whole premise of bungo stray dogs, isn't it? You come to see cool autor interpretation. Bsd is borne out of love for literature and writers, but then some of the characters get so much less attention and care then others. And it's not even that hard to write a good character when you have a real person as a reference. How'd come so many bsd characters are nothing but blank pages and troupes? If not for literature, half of the people won't be interested in the story.

Bsd is very strange media to consume. You have to wach anime, read manga, read novells to understand the characters and setting, and then you have to read autors' works and biographies to understand the meta (and because people will bully you on the internet if you don't). But then. Then you look at it as a whole and. It feels like a fever dream. It rushes to tell you all the cool stuff, but then it's either not enough stuff or too much stuff and you have to go do homework to understand what that was about. It almost can't pick want it wants to be.

Bsd is just one big fanfiction that just wants to play with all those cool characters and doesn't want to do boring storytelling stuff.

And idk.

Slay?

What was i talking about by the way? Ah yes, Lovecraft. Please stop making him into Cthulhu. That's boring.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk, i will now proceed to write logistic strategy for a small game development studio in Poland.

[gutsby]

notice how old!joel wouldn’t nut until you’d cum at least three times? very demure. very mindful. very cutesy.

(he has erectile dysfunction)

[zu-is-here]

TRAPPED [ Error ]

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[bakudekublogblog]

i know i watched mha specifically bc it looked like something homoerotic was happening but like oh my god??? something homoerotic is happening??? like how is this chapter real i’m

[tazmiilly]

i was very fortunate to grow out of my childhood epilepsy. but man do i remember the wires in my hair. and feeling SOOO TIRED.

[ratcandy]

what they don't tell you about lactose intolerance is that it geTS WORSE why did nobody WARN ME it would GET SO BAD

[weareuniqueandimportant]

YOU SHOULD JUST COMMIT SSSSCIDE... YOU'RE WORTHLESS... YOU VIEW US THIS WAY YOU'RE AN ABUSER A KILLER A MURDERER... TRULY... YOU WOULDN'T EVEN LISTEN TO US YOUR HANDS THEY'RE ON OUR THROAT... YOU'RE WORTHLESS AS RESULT... GO AHEAD... YOUR VALUE IS COMPLETE 0...

THIS POST IS ABOUT LESBIAN FOOD... NOTHING MATURE ABOUT THAT... I LOVE EATING SSSSIDE... THAT IS A TYPE OF FISH WE WOMAN TEND TO EAT TOGETHER... WHY DO THIS TO US 😢...

DAMN... I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS COMPLETELY SHADOWBANNED POST WAS CHECKED BY THE SITE... THAT'S CRAZY... WHO EVEN FOUND THIS...? OH WHATEVER... HA.

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

.

[blujayonthewing]

As someone with adhd who only got diagnosed and medicated within the last year- I highly suggest talking to your doctor. I spoke with my med doctor before ever starting to ask her how difficult it was to get the meds. She said that while the shortage is real and affecting people, she hasn't seen it happen locally yet, which made me feel safer. Your doctor probably has inside knowledge since they prescribe it to others!

It truly has been life changing for me in numerous ways, so if you're diagnosed or even just have a suspicion you're adhd, I really encourage you to go for it 💜 Regardless, best of luck!!!

aauuugghhh I knooooow but.... scary...... :') I know 'well just doing bad all of the time is better than doing good sometimes and bad other times' is very obviously flawed logic, but it's hard not to fall back on nonetheless. AND yeah I guess 'well a facebook friend who lives in the same state I do was having trouble with her son's prescription two years ago' isn't a professional assessment of the supplyline situation right now and where I actually live, lmao. Either way I suppose one upside of being a wiener about it is that if I ever do talk to a professional about this, 'I've been putting this off for years and years because I have a whole laundry list of doubts and misgivings about getting on medication' might help guard against getting marked as drug seeking kfjdghgdf

[mars-ipan]

i do love my family very dearly but the internalized ableism the men in here struggle with is. so much

[mutalune]

on one hand I am very glad that ketamine therapy has been helpful for my severe depression and anxiety and ptsd and whatever else is going on up there, and I’m grateful that it’s available to me as part of my treatment plan

on the other hand I’m not a huge fan of the payment for that help being a 50/50 chance every time of having a bad trip that unlocks some deep scary part of my psyche and then having to address all of that in therapy until the next trip

[antenanotaic3]

Three obsessed regular defenders of the law meet in a bar

[worldwhampion]

(spoilers of u haven't done the newest quest line)

(also sorry I haven't sent an ask in so long, I haven't played nms for a bit lol)

I'm really loving all the lore we got! those big Atlantis probe things from the expedition still show up in space, one pretty much outright stated that the probes are actually ancient escape pods from the destruction of korvax prime. And the korvax were in there for so long atlantideum began to grow out of their bodies, creating a structure similar to the ones you mine sentience echoes from!

Also unrelated theory, but I think if the first spawn won they might've destroyed the universe accidentally. They think the universe is not a simulation and is knowable. This combined with their greed and probable lack of environmental concern, means they probably would grab any gravitino balls they can, and with no sentinels around to drive them off and mend the wound in spacetime, the damage would pile up and the simulation would break.

HIII took me long enough to answer your ask, I apologize. I’m free now so let’s get to it!

It’s going to take a while for me to do the autophage quest myself since i actually haven’t finished the artemis path yet (but at this point i do know already it inside out). However i did watch playthroughs and i also made a decent transcript of the quest. And YOU BET i have some thoughts about this. Especially on atlantideum.

i. ATLANTIDEUM

(from world of glass lore archive server)

When you reveal atlantideum to the atlas something very interesting happens. From this piece of lore i’m pretty sure atlantideum is corrupted data- OF THE ABYSS. And the atlas does not react well to this data at all.

ATLANTIDeum. Are you seeing this. It’s literally like parts of the abyss. Call it abyss dust.

I think atlantideum are crystals which contain her (corrupted) data, or in any case you bet it’s related to wog. They’re probably coming straight from the world of glass, seeping into the simulations. These crystals are scattered all over the place, and lore-wise they’re probably multiplying on a pretty concerning rate at the moment. I think this is how the abyss is returning, by hauling her data back into the world. The world of glass is assimilating with the simulations if you will! She’s only able to do this because the atlas is literally falling apart as she proceeds with her girlboss plan. The atlas is weakening while she is growing stronger (she’s probably weakening the atlas too in the proces). They’re probably fighting for control over the systems, and she is definitely going for absolute power. You’re gonna need that if you want to save everything dying along with the computer that runs reality.

The atlas can’t do anything about the crystals (or data), because it does not have access to this data and cannot delete it from its systems. The abyss seems to be an entity acting separately from the system or the atlas, so you can say she is interfering with the simulations like a foreign entity. She is a subroutine of the atlas though, which has now gone rogue (see iii. FIRST SPAWN ACCIDENTAL UNIVERSE DESTRUCTION).

Thorn summed this up ON POINT. Being atlas… is suffering.

While the atlantideum hit made the atlas have an asthmatic attack, someone else smoked it up like nipnip. Nada took the abyss blunt very well.

The atlantideum gave nada data of the abyss, to me this is like injecting memories into your mind. Now we know that nada canonically likes smoking atlantideum! While the atlas is pro war on drugs. The traveller can become nada’s abyss blunt dealer.

ii. KORVAX ESCAPE POD

“And the korvax were in there for so long atlantideum began to grow out of their bodies, creating a structure similar to the ones you mine sentience echoes from!”

Sadly i don’t have that particular dialogue you mentioned about the korvax escape pod so i might miss a few details. I want to read it so if anyone finds it SEND IT TO ME STAT i need my lore like how nada needs their blunt.

The atlantideum item description reads:

Atlantideum can take over hosts, both mechanical and biological. I see this as the hosts coming under influence or under control of the abyss, probably depending on the amount of crystals they have stuck in their skin.

Finally we have a bit of clarification for the following lines:

(from the abandoned building logs)

I believe these beings to be the family glass. Sadly they never went beyond name dropping them but that doesn’t stop me from having theories. They are beings that live on in the world of glass who have probably lived in the simulations at first (before they died).

We have know seen the effects of glass/atlantideum on both mechanical and biological beings. For mechanical beings (like nada and the atlas) simply coming into close contact with the crystals is already enough to have an effect, while for biological beings they have to literally shove the shards into their flesh. Just like piercings. Except these piercings drain your life and also may or may not keep hurting forever. However in the end it’s all worth it for the eldritch knowledge.

It’s not said whether these crystals are really atlantideum (crystals containing data of the abyss specifically?), but this is probably what happens when you put it under your skin while also being biological. you get a cool piercing, AND you also become a vessel for intelligences unlike us (void milves).

The abyss can exert influence/control through not only nanites (in the water), but through atlantideum too? Well it is a literal substance named after her. The korvax in the escape pod definitely came under her influence too and became divergent by extension. She is pretty much the divergence personified. As for how the atlantideum got there, i’m thinking the abyss messed a little with the nanites in their body? I mean she is a master nanite bender, arguably the best one the simulations have ever seen. Not everyone can infest half the water in the known multiverse with nanites every day like she does casually.

The abyss does a lot of polluting, in water it’s nanites, on land it’s atlantideum crystals. She really just decided that environmental pollution is the best way to spread her presence everywhere. And you cannot deny that she is completely right since it’s working that well. This is like spreading microplastics which have the power to change reality itself.

In game you can refine atlantideum into nanites, by first refining it into pugneum and then to nanites. So nanites and atlantideum are pretty closely related.

iii. FIRST SPAWN ACCIDENTAL UNIVERSE DESTRUCTION

“Also unrelated theory, but I think if the first spawn won they might've destroyed the universe accidentally. They think the universe is not a simulation and is knowable. This combined with their greed and probable lack of environmental concern, means they probably would grab any gravitino balls they can, and with no sentinels around to drive them off and mend the wound in spacetime, the damage would pile up and the simulation would break.”

Oh man i have something for you.

(boundary failure logs)

The first spawn exploited a whole subroutine (ie the convergence) for their personal interests- on a multiversal scale. Since a subroutine is like a working part of the atlas itself, the exploitation might’ve done some damage to the system in terms of software (?) i mean can you still carry out whatever tasks you should be doing properly if you were subjected to gruesome slavery across the multiverse. you’d need godly multitasking skills for this. Not sure to what extent it really affected the system, but it would have done at least something.

Telamon did say that the entire enslavement of the korvax is a reflection of the atlas breaking down. The convergence, being modeled after earlier forms of the atlas, is kind of the atlas personified in the simulations. Now when you’re enslaved, you do break down mentally and physically. The korvax suffered because the atlas itself was suffering. And the first spawn might’ve been a reflection of the harm the atlas was facing. In the end the first spawn was genetically engineered into the gek, not completely wiped out but “mitigated” using their nanites. this could apply to the harm too, it’ll never be removed, only lessened. I find it very interesting how the korvax polluting the gek spawning pools with nanites is very much parallel with the abyss infesting the water with nanites as well. Both do this to get out of hard times, by trying to lessen the harm but never able to remove it completely. This does seems to be what the atlas is doing to try saving itself. The repeated universe resets are also a reflection in the simulations except it is more meta.

Now onto the balls!

If the first spawn did start grabbing gravitino balls left and right without a single care unchecked, then that means the atlas is. royally fucked. I’d say then it’s literally not able to keep running simulations anymore. Like they would end prematurely because it’d crash halfway through, as reflected by the reality weakening from unrestrained gravitino ball harvesting once they get to that part in history. whatever horrors the atlas is facing at the moment isn’t enough for this to happen. Recovering from brutal enslavement does sound better than the whole simulation straight up crashing down. You could always have it worse! Sparkle on!

[thethingything]

it's been just under 3 days since we took that antibiotic and our brain still doesn't feel right.

all I can do is wait it out and hope it goes away soon, but we've barely been able to do anything for the last few days and honestly until the med fucked us up I wasn't even sure we could get less functional in terms of how bad our dissociation and stuff was but here we are.

I have things I need to do. I have things I was meant to organise. I'm gonna have to explain a bunch of stuff at that oral surgery consultation on Thursday and I have to hope the side effects have eased off by then because with the way our brain currently is, I'm not actually sure I'd be able to explain the things I need to or remember to ask about things I need to bring up.

I've missed doses of my regular meds because of both the brain fog and our sleep schedule getting fucked up because the medication side effects triggered a fatigue flare and we're back to randomly falling asleep and repeatedly getting stuck in a loop of falling asleep and then waking up just enough to register that we need to do something but not enough to actually open our eyes and do the thing before falling asleep again several times over the course of a few hours and having really vivid dreams that kind of blur together with reality so we wake up really disoriented.

I'm simultaneously overwhelmed, and too brain foggy and dissociated to really register what's making me overwhelmed, but then I think about something that I know has been stressing me out and I just kind of feel apathetic? I guess? and I've had the same thing with stuff I'd normally be really excited/enthusiastic about no matter how bad our depression gets. it's horrible because it's like, I know I care about this thing, I know I feel strongly about it, but I can't access any of those feelings and it's making me feel like I'm not properly myself and that's freaking me out really badly

[tigirl-and-co]

i wish i was good at art so people would be interested in my ocs.

except that's a lie. i don't even really enjoy making art besides doodles. what i love is writing. so i think what i actually want is for everyone to fall in love with reading.

and like obviously i get it. im weird. i spent a large part of my youth reading wikis for games i never played, shows i never watched. i still do tbh. i have always loved seeking out superfluous information. bc it was *like* reading a story, except you only had the separate pieces and had to put them together like puzzle to get the whole story

it's a bit like history, now that i think about it.

and i LOVE finding somebody who has OCs with thousands of words of backstory. that's the fastest way to get me interested. a simple doodle and then a wiki entry of information.

idk. i guess im just venting a bit. it feels a bit unfair. every pro-OC post is geared towards artists. people who love to draw. but I just don't. i mean yeah i like making little doodles, but frankly it's about the same enjoyment i get from solving basic math equations.

and fucking obviously i love and treasure all my artist friends. if you are seeing this and you love to draw your OCs, I love you. I would never begrudge you your happiness.

it's times like these i wish forums hadn't really died out. i want a community. i want to make that connection. but i feel ignored bc my talents don't align with the current state of things in the greater community.

whatever. whatever. i just hate venting bc i worry about making people feel bad but sometimes I feel bad. and ive never been able to talk about feeling bad without getting yelled at. Which isn't healthy, of course, and I know that, and Im slowly trying to break the habit of just shoving it down. and Ive had a drink so im willing to be more open so uh. there, i guess. i feel like dogshit that i have neither the energy nor the inclination to draw my OCs and that it's literally fucking impossible to get your OCs noticed through writing. nothing really to be done about it. that's just how life goes. not all hobbies are meant for all people.

[likeawolfatthemoon]

i took half my meds for the day (which required me drinking some water) and got up and showered. i am the picture of mental health, unstoppable