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invisibleanonymousmonsters · 3 years

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Art & War

Father of Mine – Masterlist

“Alright, kiddos. Who is ready to see some art?!” Y/N asked the group of kids and preteens.

Gotham was having it’s first ever art festival.

Thanks to Y/N’s hard work, and Bruce’s generous friends – and even more generous pockets of his own.

Y/N and Jason had been talking one night and both realized that the arts were not accessible to lower income families or homeless kids. Art departments cost money and they were the first thing to be cut from school budgets – right after physical education.

So Y/N started brainstorming an art fair where all ticket sales, 30% of sales, and various auctions would go to a local charity that made sure art programs stayed in Gotham’s school district.

Jason had asked some of the homeless kids that he visited in the streets if they wanted to attend, thinking they’d all think it was super lame.

But almost half of them were intrigued, and begged him to go.

Now, Y/N was taking them around the fair to see some art and meet a few artists.

Y/N’s phone buzzed.

It was a text from Jason: “How’s it going down there?”

Down there was pretty accurate, since him and the rest of the family were busy patrolling and couldn’t make it to the fair for themselves.

Y/N could tell Damian had wanted to come and hang out with kids his own age – no matter where they came from. But he took his duties as Robin very seriously. And when Bruce showed surprise at his son possibly wanting to skip patrol, Damian quickly hid his desire to go with Y/N to the fair and put on his uniform.

Y/N looked up at the rooftops, half expecting to see her boyfriend looking down at her in his Red Hood uniform.

But she found nothing.

So her attention went back to the kids.

To her shock, they were having an absolute blast. All the artists she had invited were happy to answer all their ridiculous and hilarious questions. And they seemed amazed to hear that some of the artist she’d invited had come from the same bad neighborhoods as them.

After a couple of hours though, the kids started to lose some steam.

“Who’s hungry?” She finally asked the group.

There was a chorus of “I am!” and “Me!”

But then one little girl tugged on Y/N’s sleeve, looking up at her with innocent eyes. She couldn’t have been older than six.

“What’s up, sweetie?” Y/N asked.

“I don’t have any…money,” the little girl whispered.

It broke Y/N’s heart. None of these kids had any money. They lived on the streets.

“I’m buying all your food,” Y/N clarified to the whole group, but nodded specifically to the girl who’d asked. “And you guys can get as much as you want.”

There was a burst of cheering and smiles.

A couple of them said, “Thank you, Miss Y/N.”

Y/N laughed. It was very clear that Jason had insisted the kids learned good manners, despite where they came from.

Y/N knew Bruce worked a lot in giving back to the community and trying to get people – especially kids – off the street. But it never would feel like enough. With a broken foster care system and more evil people than good, the streets were sometimes safer for them.

The kids had just finished eating all their food when Y/N noticed a van screeching to a halt behind one of the tents.

Six men or so got out, and Y/N immediately got a bad feeling. They looked like they were on some sort of mission, determined and aggressive expressions on their faces.

Next, Y/N noticed one of them pull out a gun.

She jumped up and grabbed the attention of all of the kids, kneeling in front of them and making sure to keep her panicked voice quiet as to not grab the attention of the men.

“I need you all to listen to me very carefully. What does Jason tell you when there’s trouble?”

Living on the streets made them take her tone seriously. They were used to danger being nearby and had lost their naivety long ago.

“Keep out of sight,” they whispered quickly.

“Right. You all need to follow me as fast as you can. Stay calm. Stay close. And look out for each other. OK? And if something happens to me, you hide. OK?”

They all nodded.

“Older kids, grab a younger buddy,”Y/N added as she stood up.

She grabbed a little one’s hand and pulled her cell phone to her ear.

“What’s wrong?” Jason answered on the second ring.

“You guys should get down here. Now. Just saw a group of men who are looking for trouble. They’re armed and not fucking around.”

“On it. They’re probably looking to get some money…” Jason noted.

Y/N could tell he had already jumped into a run.

“I gotta get the kids out of here,” she answered.

“We’ll be there soon,” Jason told her.

“I love you,” Y/N said, expecting something terrible to about to happen.

“Love you, too. I have your tracker. I’m on my way.”

Yes. Her tracker. It was a ring she now wore every day. Jason had insisted on her having it in case of an emergency, especially after they announced to the world that she was Bruce Wayne’s only daughter. When Y/N had looked to Bruce for assistance on telling Jason he was being overprotective, Bruce didn’t agree with her and supported Jason’s idea.

But Y/N guessed it was a good thing now that she was actually in crisis.

Leave it to the criminals of Gotham to find any opportunity to take advantage of the vulnerable. All this money was going to charities, but they only saw it as an easy steal.

Gunshots rang out and Y/N jumped.

Some of the kids whimpered in fear.

“Get down!” Y/N told them.

But when she whipped around, she saw that the men had shot their guns into the air to get everyone’s attention.

“I think it’s time for all you to empty your pockets!” The leader screamed with a sneer.

“Come on,” Y/N hurried the children to the nearest alleyway.

“Hey! Hey! Where do you think you’re going!?” One of the men noticed Y/N fleeing with the children in tow.

Y/N grabbed the oldest boy by the shoulders, ignoring the threatening man, “You to find the nearest open door in the alley and get everyone inside to hide. If I’m not there in an hour, call Jason,” and she thrust her cellphone into his hand. “Make sure everyone gets safely inside, do you understand?”

She was remaining calm, but the boy knew to take her seriously and could see the worry and fear in her eyes.

“Don’t worry,” the boy told her, “Batman will be here any second.”

Y/N forced a small smile.

She sure hoped he would be…

“Go go go,” she lightly pushed him. “Look after them.”

It felt wrong as the kids disappeared down the dark alley. But there were various doors to different stores and buildings.

One of them would be open and they could hide out there until police arrived.

Just as the kids disappeared into the back entrance of a Chinese restaurant, someone roughly grabbed Y/N and shoved her against the brick wall of the buildings.

“I was talking to you,” the same man growled at her with a sneer.

“Get off me,” Y/N shoved him, getting back her space.

Suddenly recognition crossed over the man’s eyes. “I know who you are…” he cooed as if he’d got the biggest prize. “You’re Wayne’s bastard child.”

Y/N stayed quiet, preoccupied with thinking of an escape plan.

The man laughed, “I won the fuckin’ jackpot tonight. Didn’t I?”

He roughly grabbed Y/N’s arm and started pulling her back to where the rest of his crew was, who were busy stealing people’s personal items and invoking fear on the citizens of Gotham.

“Oy!” He screamed. “Look what I found!”

The rest of them moved their attention to him and looked at Y/N curiously.

“She’s a Wayne! Think of the ransom,” the man explained, his grip tightening on her.

“Don’t fucking touch me!” Y/N roared and kicked the man in the balls.

The man released his grip on her immediately and fell to his knees in pain. “You stupid, fucking bitch!”

Y/N didn’t wait to hear more and made a run for it.

But she stopped when a bullet flew just inches from her.

Y/N knew she could outrun the men, but she couldn’t outrun their bullets. And she wasn’t about to get shot in the back.

“Where do you think you’re going, sweetheart?” Another member of the crew asked, gun pointed right at her.

Y/N slowly turned with her hands raised, making sure not to make any sudden movements.

He laughed as he asked, “How much ya think daddy will pay for ya?”

She just clenched her jaw. If only they knew who Bruce Wayne really was.

More importantly... if only they knew Red Hood was her boyfriend.

But before he could get any closer, all the streetlights around them blew out.

“What the fuck…?” the man muttered.

Y/N's eyes adjusted to the darkness. The building lights around them made it just possible enough to kind of see.

That was the only reason Y/N was able to catch a figure standing behind the man, just over his shoulder.

Batman. Her father.

But then someone else spoke behind Y/N, making her jump.

“You really fucked yourselves this time,” they threatened.

No, not someone. Jason.

Y/N whipped around to see her boyfriend in his Red Hood uniform, red helmet reflecting the city glow and moon.

“Get out of here,” Jason told Y/N just as Bruce made his move, and attacked.

Guns started going off and people started yelling.

And before Y/N knew it, she was right in the middle of the chaos, with no clear exit.

But even worse, she was of no help.

Instead, Y/N was a complete liability to the rest of them.

Jason fired his own bullets, but Y/N knew they were only rubber. That didn’t mean they didn’t hurt like lethal ones.

Y/N watched as her boyfriend and father fought around each other. The two of them had such different combat styles, but were equally dangerous.

After all of this time, Y/N had never actually seen either of them fight. Jason seemed averse to showing that part of his life. And Bruce surprisingly did the same, despite the rest of them going into the 'family business' of vigilantism.

Y/N was shocked at how quickly her boyfriend moved with his size and weight of his gear. All of his muscle proved to be functional and not just for show.

Bruce was another story, and Y/N had trouble following his movements. He completely blended into the night, almost appearing invisible.

All Y/N wanted to do was help.

She hated feeling like a damsel in distress, a weakling that her boyfriend and family felt the need to constantly protect.

But she wasn’t naive enough to actually try right now. She’d only make things worse.

The best thing to do was listen to Jason and run for safety.

But just when she saw an opening, one of the men blocked her path.

Gun raised.

Clearly the idea of using her for ransom had failed, and now he thought the next best thing was just to execute her for ruining all their plans.

But just as he was about to pull the trigger, someone dove to Y/N, pushing her against the nearest wall, and then used their body to shield her.

Y/N looked up and recognized her father’s blue eyes, even through his cowl and dark makeup.

“No!” She gasped, thinking he spared her life with his own.

“Cape’s bulletproof,” he groaned, still feeling the pressure of the bullets.

There was a pause in the reign of bullets and Y/N looked over Bruce’s shoulder to see that Jason had taken out the shooter.

But just as he did so, someone else was behind him, ready to attack.

Y/N’s mouth opened to scream a warning, “Jas-!”

But Bruce put his gloved hand over her mouth before she could shout her boyfriend’s name to all of Gotham.

“Code names,” he warned her.

Y/N nodded, and her eyes quickly raced back to her boyfriend.

Fortunately, Jason didn’t need to be warned of another attack, and had already sensed it and defended himself.

“He knows what he’s doing,” Bruce tried to softly tell his daughter, but it was still in his gruff Batman voice.

A few minutes later, all the men had been neutralized.

And Bruce finally stepped away from his daughter, now that all of the threats were eliminated.

“Are you OK?” Y/N whispered, looking her father up and down.

She expected to see bleeding somewhere on his body, but it seemed Bruce was untouched.

He gave a curt nod, not worried about his own wellbeing.

Now that they were safe, Jason’s focus was completely on Y/N. He walked to them, strides twice as long as the normal man.

But instead of pulling Y/N into his arms like she expected, he stopped a yard away from her and kept shifting his weight in frustration.

Even without being able to see his eyes or facial expressions, Y/N knew Jason was struggling with having to stop himself from holding her or physically checking to see if she was alright.

But they had an audience. And people shouldn’t be seeing Red Hood showing concern and affection for Y/F/N Wayne.

“Are you okay…miss?” Jason's distorted voice asked through the helmet.

Y/N nodded.

Then Bruce put his finger to his ear. “It's all clear, Robin.”

Y/N frowned.

Damian.

Bruce probably told Damian, Tim, and Dick to keep patrolling while he and Jason handled this particular situation.

And Y/N could only imagine Damian throwing a fit, wanting to help.

Bruce didn’t explain what Damian was saying to Y/N, knowing it would seem weird if anyone watching them caught it. Batman was not known for communicating, especially to civilians he just saved.

So, instead, he gave Y/N a look that silently communicated, ‘He’s worried about you.’

“Batman, the police are here,” Jason announced and nodded his head in the direction of the sirens and flashing lights.

That was him saying it was time to go.

“Wait!” Y/N blurted out. “There’s kids. Hiding in the Chinese restaurant back there. They need to be taken back…” she hesitated. “They don’t have homes.”

But she knew Jason would understand who she was talking about.

The street kids that looked at Jason as their own hero had no idea that he was also Red Hood.

He would make sure they got back to their shanty town before the police found them and tried to place them in foster care – or worse, back to their abusive homes.

An hour later, Y/N had answered Gotham PD’s questions for what felt like the tenth time. She was mentally and physically exhausted. The adrenaline rush of the night’s events had sucked all her energy away. And she had a headache. She could only assume her body would be sore tomorrow morning, especially where the men kept grabbing her.

Suddenly, a Rolls-Royce pulled up.

Alfred came out, walking with purpose and a jacket in his arms.

“Officers, I will be taking Ms. Y/L/N home now.”

“We’re not done questioning her,” one of the dumber cops tried to argue.

Alfred gave him a look that made the cop shrink back, and asked them, “What more could possibly be said? She was attacked and nearly kidnapped.”

Alfred put the jacket over Y/N’s shoulders.

It smelled like Bruce, she noticed. Alfred must’ve grabbed it before rushing here.

“Is this not your typical night in Gotham?” Alfred continued. "If you have more questions, they can wait until morning.”

He left no room for further discussion, and Y/N was so grateful for it.

“Come on, dear.” Alfred ushered her gently to the car.

“The rich asshole can’t even come pick up his daughter. Makes the butler do it…” Y/N heard one of the cops mutter right before getting in the back of the car.

Of course they thought that.

Little did they know, Bruce was running on top of rooftops as Batman, keeping Gotham safe in a way they never could.

And who knew what would’ve happened had he not shown up when he did. More people could’ve been robbed and everyone would’ve gotten hurt.

“Master Wayne asked that I take you back to the Wayne Manor,” Alfred told her, looking at her through the rearview mirror.

Y/N nodded and sighed, “Thanks, Alfred.”

When they arrived at Wayne Manor, Y/N dismissed Alfred’s offer to make her something to eat and or even some tea.

Instead, she rushed down to the bat cave.

Alfred had told her they weren’t back from patrol yet, but they were coming back early due to the events of the night. 'Events' being Y/N almost getting kidnapped and held for ransom – and then almost shot point blank.

20 minutes later, Y/N heard the rumbling of a motorcycle coming down the long tunnel. It was quickly followed by the bat mobile, a sound that took some time for Y/N to recognize.

She jumped up to her feet and ran down the stairs to the platform that they arrived on.

Jason was of course the one screaming down the tunnel on a motorcycle, and skidded it to a halt at the last possible second.

Like some sort of rebel without a cause.

But he did have a cause. And she was rushing towards him, too.

Jason ripped off his Red Hood helmet, throwing it off to the side as it meant nothing.

And he quickened his steps to get to Y/N faster.

Y/N finally let out a sigh of relief, “Are you o–”

But her words were cut off by Jason lifting her into his arms.

Y/N was expecting some sort of relieved embrace, yes. But not for Jason to pull her so tight and lift her off her feet, completely in his control.

After her smell and touch calmed him down, Jason finally placed her back on her feet.

But he didn’t let her go far.

Jason's eyes pierced through hers and his hands cupped either side of her face, moving her hair out of the way.

Y/N gripped his biceps, but knew better than to pull away from his touch or try to break his hold on her face.

“You OK?” Jason asked.

It could’ve been misinterpreted as casual and unconcerned. But Y/N saw it for what it truly was: he had been terrified of her getting hurt.

It was all his eyes, in his desperate grip on her face, in the way his breathing escaped his mouth as if he had been holding it in until he physically saw her.

“I’m OK,” she quickly told him, not wanting him to worry any more than he already had.

But Jason still seemed tense.

Y/N eyes widened suddenly. “The kids–”

“Safe,” Jason assured before she could even ask. Then he winced. “Well… as safe as they could be while living on the streets of Gotham.”

Y/N nodded in understanding.

Jason made eye contact with someone behind her and reluctantly stepped away from his girlfriend.

Y/N whipped around to find Bruce, still mostly in his Batman uniform – his cowl was gone and his cape had been detached.

Bruce looked at her with an expression she had never seen before.

Y/N suddenly felt guilty, as if were her fault she’d been attacked.

To her surprise, Bruce pulled her into his arms, as well.

But it was different than Jason’s.

No, this was a father worried for the safety of his daughter.

Y/N whined, “Oh, not you, too.”

But Bruce ignored her.

Then Y/N felt something tackle her leg and hip.

Y/N laughed when she looked down to see Damian joining their hug.

“I’m OK. Really.”

“Father wouldn’t let me come to help,” Damian groaned, still holding her.

They pulled away.

“Guess he wanted to be the one to risk his life,” Y/N teased, but then gave Bruce a dangerous look that silently said, ‘I didn’t forgot that you jumped in front of bullets for me.’

Jason allowed Bruce and Damian to have their moment with Y/N and then he was at her side once again, grabbing one of her hands, intertwining their fingers.

“Go home or stay here?” Jason asked Y/N quietly after Alfred arrived in the cave and started talking to Bruce and Damian.

“Can we stay here?” She asked quietly.

Y/N hadn’t quite recovered from the image of her father jumping between her and a gun.

And seeing Bruce unharmed felt too good to be true.

Jason nodded.

“Are Tim and Dick alright?” Y/N asked.

The two hadn’t come to her rescue, and a part of her thought something bad had happened to them earlier in the night.

“They’re fine,” Jason assured her. “They’re patrolling later so the three of us could get here as soon as possible.”

Y/N took in a deep breath.

“Tired?” Jason asked.

She nodded.

“That’ll be the adrenaline wearing off.”

Jason nodded his head towards the stairs. “Get something to eat. Alfred always has food ready after patrol. I’m going to get rid of my gear and shower down here.”

Y/N did as he said, but was surprised to find that Damian had silently moved next to her and grabbed her hand.

Bruce was walking ahead of them and glanced at his two children. Him and Y/N shared a look. ‘He was worried about you,’ was what Bruce silently told Y/N.

She looked back down at Damian and gave his hand a quick squeeze.

Both Alfred and Bruce convinced Y/N to have some beef stew and bread.

When Jason joined them, he also got her to chug some water, mentioning something about getting dehydrated after an adrenaline rush.

Y/N realized Jason was right about the crash, and her eyes immediately started to feel heavy after eating and drinking.

“Come on. Bedtime,” Jason urged her.

He walked closely behind her, worried that she might collapse at any moment from exhaustion.

After getting ready for bed, Jason slid under the covers and laid on his side to face Y/N.

“What are you thinking about?” Jason asked her quietly.

He could tell her mind was racing, despite her body being exhausted.

“I’ve never seen any of you…” Y/N struggled to find the right wording. “I’ve never actually seen you fight before.”

Images flashed in her mind of Jason taking down goon after goon and firing various weapons – as if it had all been rehearsed. And Bruce moving like a deadly shadow, impossible to keep up with and seeming inhuman.

“Did I…” Jason was scared to finish his question. He cleared his throat. “Did I scare you?”

Y/N wasn’t looking at him, instead her eyes were cloudy as she zoned out and was taken hostage by her thoughts and memories of earlier that night.

“No,” she mumbled. “I knew you all risked your lives every night. But I just…it was was something else to see it for myself.”

“Y/N?” Jason whispered as he held her chin.

The gentleness of his voice finally snapped her out of it and she looked at him.

“You know I’d never hurt you, right?”

She nodded right away.

“People were shooting bullets at you, Jason.”

Jason smirked. “Bullets I can handle. But you being in danger? That. That's what I can't handle.”

“I knew you would come,” she told him in return.

“Gotham could be up in flames and I’d still find a way to you.”

It should’ve sounded cheesy, but Y/N could see the darkness in Jason’s eyes. He would give up everything, even his own life, all to save her.

Before Y/N could find a way to respond to such a declaration, Jason leaned toward her and placed a soft kiss on her lips.

“Try to get some sleep. Alright?”

Y/N nodded and let Jason pull her into his chest.

––––––––

Jason was disappointed to find the bed empty in the morning.

He rubbed his eyes roughly to try and wake up faster.

When he looked around his childhood bedroom, he half expected her to be lounging somewhere, maybe tinkering with a camera or coming out of the bathroom.

But Y/N was nowhere in his vicinity.

Jason threw on a pair of black sweatpants and didn’t bother with a shirt.

His first stop was the kitchen, hoping to find Y/N eating something or at least taking it easy in some regards.

But the kitchen was empty, except for some fresh scones that Alfred must’ve made that morning.

Jason tried the library next, then the pool, then the theater.

But Y/N was nowhere to be found.

As he was walking down the hall, he saw Damian’s bedroom door left ajar. He spotted Damian sitting at the window seat with his sketchbook balanced against his thighs.

“Hey,” Jason greeted without knocking. “You seen Y/N anywhere?”

“She left,” Damian shrugged without looking at him.

Jason froze. “Left?”

“She went on a run.”

That wasn’t unusual, but it was unusual for Y/N to do so without telling Jason.

“I think her and father got into a fight,” Damian added, finally looking up form his drawing.

The look in his eyes proved that he knew he was giving Jason vital information.

“Great,” Jason spat sarcastically. “Thanks, demon spawn.”

He went back downstairs and hoped Y/N would be back soon. Thankfully the manor was pretty isolated from the rest of the city, so it was safe for a woman to go running alone – for the most part, that is.

30 minutes later, Jason was alerted that the manor’s gates were being opened.

He glanced out the window to see Y/N with earbuds in and workout clothes on, walking up the long and windy drive of Wayne Manor.

Even from a distance, he could tell she was breathing heavily.

Jason didn’t bother putting shoes on as he grabbed his mug of coffee and went outside to meet her.

Y/N was clearly deep inside her head and in a post-run daze, because it took her awhile to notice she was being watched.

Jason took a sip of his coffee.

She pulled out her earbuds. “Hey.”

“Hi,” Jason answered with a shy smile. “Why didn’t you tell me you were going for a run?”

“Wanted you to sleep.”

It was a stupid excuse, since Jason constantly told her not to worry about that and insisted that he would like to be woken up to make sure he could time when she would be back.

“Damian said you and Bruce had a fight,” Jason said once she reached him.

Y/N's steps faltered and she rolled her eyes.

“So the brat wasn’t lying?” Jason pushed.

Y/N didn’t answer.

Jason sighed, “Am I allowed to ask what the fight was about?”

“He won’t train me.”

Now that was not what Jason had been expecting.

Jason narrowed his eyes and stepped closer. “Sorry. What?”

Y/N scoffed. “I asked him to train me.” Then she brushed past Jason and started walking for the house once again.

But Jason quickly caught up to her. “Why didn’t you ask me?”

She had tried to avoid this. “Don’t make this about you, Jason.”

But Jason was insistent. “I’m serious. Why did you ask him and not me?”

Y/N stopped to face him again. “Because you’re more protective over me than he is. And I figured if he told me no, you would, too.”

Jason was left speechless – not by Y/N’s words, but her tone. She didn’t sound mad, just sad and disappointed. Somehow, it made Jason feel like he’d let her down in some way.

It had stunned him long enough for Y/N to continue her escape into the manor. But now before calling over her shoulder, “I’m going to take a shower and then I want to go home.”

Home. As in their home, not the manor.

Jason wondered if Bruce would eventually leave it to Y/N. Or if it would be Damian. It was sure giant enough for both of them to live in together. But Jason couldn’t really picture it right.

An hour later, Jason was driving the two of them back to the city and their apartment.

Bruce was nowhere to be found when they departed.

Y/N was freshly showered with slightly wet hair.

She silently looked out the window as Jason drove.

Jason was looking at the road, but his focus was his girlfriend. And he was hyper aware of her breathing, her tension, her posture, her frown, her slight squint.

He reached over and lightly gripped her thigh.

“I can teach you,” he said softly.

Y/N finally tore her eyes away from the window to look at him. And she was clearly confused by what he was talking about.

“W-What?” She managed to blurt out.

Jason smirked. “You want to learn self-defense, right?”

She nodded eagerly.

Jason grabbed her left hand and brought it to his lips to kiss. “Why did you think I wouldn’t?”

Y/N frowned and shrugged. “I don’t know,” she mumbled. “You should’ve seen Bruce when I asked. I’ve never seen him look so angry. It just – caught me off guard. It was so…strange.”

“It’s a good idea,” Jason tried to encourage. “But this doesn’t change anything.”

Y/N squinted in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“I’m still always going to be there, whether you can handle yourself or not.”

She smiled and gripped Jason's cheeks, squeezing them as he looked ahead to drive. “There’s my overprotective boyfriend. Wasn’t sure he was still with us.”

—————

Y/N was in her office editing some photos when there was a knock in the doorway.

She turned around to smile at her boyfriend, but found that Jason was frowning and closing the door behind him.

“What’s wrong?” Y/N asked carefully.

Jason crossed his arms. “Bruce’s here.”

Her face dropped.

Jason stepped closer. “Want me to get rid of him? Kick his ass?”

Y/N gave a heavy sigh, but he could tell she was amused still. “Don’t even think about it…”

Slowly she got up from her desk and gave her boyfriend a quick kiss on the lips and patted his chest, showing that his protectiveness and offer hadn't gone unnoticed.

Jason followed Y/N to the living room a few steps behind, ready to step in and give Bruce a piece of his mind.

As soon as Y/N entered, Bruce turned from the window

“I’ll give you two some…privacy,” Jason mumbled, making his way to the door.

But not before he gave Bruce a warning look that said, ‘If I come back to this apartment with her crying, you’re fucking dead.’

Bruce heard it loud and clear.

Y/N seemed utterly impressed with her father’s presence.

“I’m guessing you came here to say something…” She was too exhausted to try and run this conversation, especially with Bruce of all people.

Bruce cleared his throat. “I came to apologize.”

She remained silent.

He continued, “I shouldn’t have responded the way I did.”

“Care to explain why you did then?”

Bruce knew he deserved how harsh she sounded. Because he had been harsh the other day, and Y/N hadn’t deserved that.

“I do not want…” Bruce cleared his throat. “No. I cannot have you training.”

“Really? ‘Cause it feels a little fuckin’ sexist to me,” Y/N countered. “All your sons – adoptive, biological, fostered – all of them got into the family business.”

“Exactly,” Bruce countered a little too insistently.

“Jesus Christ, Bruce! I wasn’t asking to be the next Robin! All I wanted…” but Y/N stopped herself before she could let it slip.

Bruce gave her a look, begging her to finish the thought.

Y/N took in a deep breath. “I wasn’t asking Batman to take me under his wing,” her words slow and careful. “I was asking my father to help me stop feeling powerless.”

That did it.

Now Bruce really felt like shit.

He lowered his head in shame. “I’m sorry for the way I reacted, Y/N.”

She just waited, feeling like he had more to say.

“It started the same way with Dick and Jason – and even Tim. Curiosity turned to self-defense. And then self-defense turned into combat training. Next thing I knew, they were begging to go on patrol with me.”

“Bruce, I’m an adult. My life is my own, and always was. I'm not on a path of vengeance. And I’ve never felt this pull to protect Gotham like all of you. Batman didn’t raise me; my mom did.”

Bruce knew everything Y/N said made sense. But that logic wasn’t loud enough to quiet his greatest fears when it came to his daughter.

“Y/N, you just became a part of my life,” his voice changed. “I can’t let anything happen to you.”

The sound of Bruce’s voice and the look on his face broke Y/N’s heart.

Without thinking, she wrapped him in a hug.

How could she stay mad at him?

“Nothing’s going to happen to me,” Y/N mumbled into her father’s shoulder as she held him tight.

But Bruce had seen how this city had ripped his family apart over and over again. And he wasn’t naive enough to believe it wouldn’t try to take his only daughter away from him, too.

“I just…I don’t want you all to think you’re the only thing that can save me,” Y/N told him as she pulled away from their hug. “I want to be able to save myself – as silly as that may sound to you.”

“You’re right,” Bruce answered – to Y/N’s surprise.

She gave him a shy nod. “So…are we OK?”

He gave her a smirk. “You tell me.”

Y/N laughed. “I think we are.”

Bruce looked relieved. “You know, Damian’s convinced you need to have a guard dog.”

Y/N groaned. “Oh, god. Here we fuckin’ go…”

–––––––––––––

i love love love book reviews and comments and messages. ❤️

Father of Mine – Masterlist

#father of mine #father of mine bonus content #jason todd x reader #jason todd x tall!reader #tall!reader #jason todd tall!reader insert #dad!bruce #batdad #dad!bruce x reader #bruce wayne x daughter!reader #batfam #batboys #dad!bruce wayne

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raineydays411 · 3 years

Text

Thanks T

Summary: A dad is supposed to be your rock. Someone you can go to when times are hard. Someone whos supposed to protect you. WHat happens when your dad doesn’t fit the bill, and Tony does?

A/n: Hello yall! So this story hit really close to home for me lmao. It was mentioned that there aren’t any good dad/step dad Tony fics so I hope you like it. Everyone thank @alphaandromedae97 and an anon for this fic.

Hope yall enjoy!

Your life was complicated.

How can it not be when Tony “billionaire playboy” Stark is your step dad.

Yes you read that right, step dad. It’s funny really, turns out he has a thing for waitresses that aren’t interested in him at first. That waitress being your mom.

They met when she was working a shift at the restaurant she works at, and he came in with Avengers. He expected her to fall at their feet like everyone else did, but she just scoffed and asked for their order. Pretty epic.

Then one long montage later, and they ended up getting married. You were happy for your mom, of course. Deep down, Tony is a good man and you knew he’d do anything for your mom. And he’s always been nice to you, making sure you were okay with him proposing and then you moving upstate with him and your mom. He always made sure you felt included, maybe a little too much. He actually took interest in your life, which you’ll always appreciate.

But you were a total daddy's girl by heart. You always felt like you had a close relationship with your biological father. He was a good dad, he took you out to movies, went to recitals, and always made sure to take you to the father-daughter dance your school district put on every year. It was your tradition. But after your parents divorced a few years ago, it seemed like he was getting more and more distant from you. He stopped calling as much, would skip out on your days to visit him and when you did visit, he’d lock himself in his office, claiming he had to finish some paperwork. It broke your heart, knowing that a man you were so close with, seems to be detaching himself from your life. But, in his defence he always managed to take you to the father-daughter dance. He always did. No matter how long the both of you went without seeing each other, no matter how long you haven’t spoken, he always made sure to take you.

That act alone, reassured you that he did still love you. He was just busy. In fact, you were getting ready to go to the final father-daughter dance, as you were going to graduate this year and therefore you would be too old to attend the next year. This year was especially important to you. You wanted this night to be perfect.

And you were positive your father would pull through as he has the past years.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were filled with excitement as you tried on multiple different dresses. You always liked this part of getting ready, the dress shopping.

The confidence you feel when you finally found the right dress. The happy feeling you and your mother had, browsing through the dress shop downtown. Tony offered to buy you a custom designer dress, but you couldn’t accept. This was the shop you’ve been going to since you were a little girl, since you went to your very first dance with your dad. Call it nostalgia or tradition, but you couldn’t shop anywhere else.

“ Hey ma! I think I found the one.” You shout from the dressing room, finally finding your dress after hours of searching.

“Come out here and let’s see bug” She replies from where shes seated. You take a deep breath, soothing the wrinkles on the dress and walking outside. Your mother gasps as she see the gown. It was beautiful really. It was a glittery, lilac purple floor length dress with spaghetti straps. And it even had pockets! You were absolutely obsessed. Plus, you could probably use it as a prom dress if you really wanted to.

“Oh baby...you look so beautiful...” You mom says, tearing for the millionth time.

“Ma, are you crying again?!” You laugh, “ Come on, that's the fifth time you’ve cried since we’ve been in the store!”

She laughs with you, sniffling as she wipes her tears,” I’m sorry, but you’re getting so big, it feels like it was only yesterday we were walking in this shop to get your first dress...and now...” She starts to cry again.

You smile softly, understanding what your mom was saying. You were in kindergarten when you first started attending these meetings, now you’re a senior in highschool.

“Alright, no more crying. It’s a happy day for you. Has your father called texted you when he was going to come pick you up?” Your mom asked wiping her tears.

You frown, “ No, I haven;’t hear from him since two weeks ago when he said he wanted to get lunch.”

You can see your mom roll her eyes in the mirror, “ Mom he’s just busy. I’m sure he’ll call when he can.”

“Oh sure, I just hate that he doesn’t answer you fast enough.”

“I know ma, but he has work” You argue, “ He calls when he can, and that's okay.”

Your mom sighs, knowing that you were stubborn when it comes to your father.

“ Well, let’s get this wrapped, Tony wants to get lunch and we need to convince him to get something other than shawarma.”

You roll your eyes, “ God, what’s with that man and shawarma. It’s like his life line or something”

“I know!”

After the two of you buy the dress, you pick up Tony from the HQ. You loved the drive up there,mainly because of the scenery, but also cause you can see Cap running laps outside.

“Hell my love, hey kiddo” Tony greets switching seats with your mom.

‘Hey T” You greet, smiling at the man.

“Did you find the dress?” He asks, driving away from his place of work and to a restaurant.

“Yeah! It’s like the one I told you I wanted. I was surprised it was there to be honest.” You reply, “ Mom practically dehydrated herself shopping though.”

“Oh? How many times did she cry this time? Cause she was crying earlier when she was getting read-- OW! Hey I’m driving” He exclaims as your mom swats his arm.

You giggle at their antics, chest warming with the sight of your mom happy again.

“She cried five times while we were shopping. Five!”

“Five? I didn’t know the human body had that much water.”

The two of you chuckled as your mom made an offended noise.

“I hate that the two of you get on so well.” She pouts, “ And excuse me if I’m a little sad my baby is growing up so fast.”

You tune out the rest of their conversation as your phone buzzes.

Dad

Hey kid, I’m gonna have to meet you at the school tomorrow. I have a meeting that’s gonna run late.

You

Okay daddy, I’ll see you there <3

You frown, your dad always managed to pick you up from the house. He used to take you to eat before the dance. And he always used to take the day off, devoting his time to you.

“ Uh oh, someone's frowning back there.” Tony remarks, “ What’s wrong kiddo, did a character off that show you like die/”

“Uh no, ma do you think you can drop me off at the dance tomorrow? Dad said he has a late meeting and won’t be able to pick me up.”

Your mother makes eye contact with Tony. They both know how your father has been flaking on you and how it breaks your heart that he does. It makes Tony especially mad because it remind him of his childhood. How his father really didn’t pay attention to him unless he was criticizing his life choices.

“ Hey y/n, I can drop you off if you want.” Tony offers, “ I really don’t mind.”

You smile, “Thanks T.”

“No problem kid.”

And with that he pulls into the restaurant parking lot.

As your family is seated, you take a quick look around the restaurant, wanting to see the reactions of the patrons when they realize Tony Stark is in the building. But as you do, you see a man who looks very familiar. But before you can take a closer look your mom interrupts you.

“Y/n, you know it's rude to stare.”

“Oh sorry mom.”

So you take a seat and continue with your meal. You tune out your mother and Tony’s conversation as you can’t take your mind off of that man. You take a quick glance back while your parents discuss the dessert menu.

That’s when you realize that the man was your father!

You stand up from the table and make your way towards the man. Surprised to see him there because as far as you know, he’s supposed to be in a meeting right now.

“Daddy?” You ask cautiously. The man tenses up before turning to you.

“Y/n? Honey what are you doing here?” You notice he doesn’t make an attempt to get up and hug you.

And you also notice the second plate of food across from him and a napkin stained with what looked like lipstick.

“Um, T and Ma wanted to grab dinner.. I thought you were at a meeting?”

“This is a five star restaurant, and you just stopped in?” He asks ignoring your question, “ Of course Stark did..”

You wanted to roll your eyes. Everytime your mother was even close to being happy, your dad always found something wrong with the person she was with. But he seemed to have a strong disliking towards Tony for some reason.

“Um right...So you told me you were in a meeting? That’s why I couldn’t come over after dress shopping?”

“Right! A meeting...I’m currently in right now.” He says quickly looking towards the women's bathroom, “ You should go back to your table hon, my boss is really strict”

“Oh right, sorry” You say dejected, “ I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” your dad says with a soft smile, “ I love you Bug.”

You smile at the nickname your parents gave you, “ I love you too pop.”

And with that you walk off, back to your mother and Tony. You can see they’re trying to hide the fact that they were watching by covering their face with the dessert menus.

“Oh here you are, we got you a tiramisu” Tony says nonchalantly, pushing the dessert towards you.

“Uh huh” You hummed teasingly, “ Dad says hi by the way.”

“ Oh does he now?” You mom said not convinced, “ That’s nice of him.”

You hummed, mouthful of cake signaling that you were done with the conversation. Your family finished up their meals and signaled for the check. As you were walking out the restaurant, you turned to say goodbye to your dad, only to see his “boss” was back from the restroom.

Only this boss was a 5′3, brunette bombshell in a tight red dress and having her neck kissed by the man you call your father.

Your stomach felt sick.

“Oh gross, I really didn’t need to see that.” You mutter catching the attention of Tony who was behind you.

“See what kid?” He asks following your gaze, “Oh. Yikes is that even allowed? I didn’t know your dad was a vampire.”

You snort, “ Oh god T, that's disgusting.”

He just laughs and pats your head, “ Come on, lets go before your mom yells at us.”

You smile, but you wondered why your dad didn’t tell you that he was on a date. Or that he was even seeing someone?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thoughts of your fathers secrets where wiped from your brain as you scrambled to get ready for the dance the next day.

Tony surprised you and your mom with a mani-pedi day at 10am and a hair appointment for you at 1pm. After you had to get shoes for your dress at the mall and then be home by 5pm to get your dress and makeup on, take pictures, and then be out the door by 7pm to take pictures with your dad, then finally be at the dance by 8pm when doors open.

The whole day you were messaging your dad about how excited you are, getting similar replays back. He pays for you shoes and complements your hair.

Your heart swells as you think about how hard it was in the beginning of the divorce. But your father always tried his best to spend time with you and made sure you knew he loved you.

It was hard on you at first, but you appreciate that he tried for you. The fact that he’s been taking you to this dance since you were a little girl is proof enough. You were a little sentimental, this was your last dance after all.

You smiled looking at yourself in the mirror. You looked beautiful in your dress. Your makeup was done to perfection and you had gotten a silk press in your hair. You felt like a princess. You heard your mom sniffle.

“Mom, again?” You laugh,turning to face her.

“I’m sorry! You just look so beautiful!” she says with a sad smile, “ God, you grew up so fast bug”

You roll your eyes, but feel the tears spring to your eyes as well, “ Ma! Stop I can’t ruin my make up”

You both laugh as you fan your eyes

“You ready?” She asks, “ Tony’s waiting for you in the living room.”

You nod, gathering your things and walking out the door. You let your mom walk down the stairs first. You can hear Tony and you assume Happy in the living room. You finally make it down the stairs. It turns out it was Tony, Happy, and Peter Parker. Your mom was chatting with them and they all had their back turned to you.

“Ahem.” You clear your throat, catching their attention.

You see Peter stiffen as he gazes at you and mutters a soft “Wow”

You blush, what can you say he’s a cutie.

Happy gives you a comforting smile.

And Tony?

He has a soft look on his face, “ Jeez kid, you clean up well.”

You laugh, “ Better than you old man, what's up with the pants?”

He had on Iron Man pj pants.

“Oh hush.” He laughs, “ You look beautiful kiddo.”

You look down with a grin.

“Oh pose for some pictures!” You mom says excitedly, “ Go Y/n, by your self first and then with me. Then with Tony.”

You sigh, knowing how long it was gonna take.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finally after three million pictures, your mom and Tony drove you to the school.

“Okay bug, is your dad here?” Your mom asks looking around at the group.

“Yeah! He should be inside.” You say kissing your mom goodbye and waving to Tony. You show the ticket and waltz in the gym.

You smile and wave at classmates and parents. These people you’ve known since you were a child and who knew you. You finally got to the table you always sat at woth your dad.

It was empty.

You frown and look at your phone.

On my way pop!

It said the message was read.

“He must be on driving” You think to yourself as you sat at the table.

But then twenty minutes passed. Then an hour. then two

You were still there, waiting for your dad to come. You sent five messages and they all remained unopened.

You looked around the gym, seeing a few parents looking at you with pity in their eyes. You can barely stand it.

You got up and went to the restroom, trying not to cry. and in the restroom you tried calling you father, but you were sent to voicemail. The you finally got a message.

Dad

“I’m so sorry bug, I can’t make it to the dance. I have a meeting today. :(”

You felt dejected. Humiliated.

Your father has rearranged visitation days, skipped out on little crimonied and rectitals you’ve had, but this by far was the most disappointing thing he has done.

He promised multiple times that he’d be here. Never has he ever skipped out on the dance before. ANd he knew how important this was to you. Thi was your last dance, and he ruined it.

You let yourself cry. You sobbed as you realized that your father has been distancing himself from you. That your relationship hasn’t been okay for a while. And you just didn’t want to let go.

You sigh as you realize you’ve been in the restroom for a while. You stand up and look at your face. Despite the red eyes and slightly red nose, your make up was pretty much intact.

“Huh at least my setting spray hasn’t let me down.” You say to your self. After a few mintues of calming down, you walk out of the restroom and bump into a figure.

“Sorry” you mutter about to pass the person.

“Gee you took a while in there, I told you not to get that coffee kid.”

You quickly look up and se Tony.

Dressed in a suit, flowers in hand.

“Hey kid.” He says softly

“what..what are you doing here?” You whisper, tears filling your eyes again.

“Well apparently you need an rent a dad, and I happened to be in the neighborhood.” He jokes, then says, “ I’m sorry your dad didn’t come kiddo, and I know I’m not him, and quite frankly I’m glad I’m not. But I do love you like you’re my own, and well...yeah here I am.”

You stay quiet, looking at Tony in wonder. Touched that he did this for you.

“Of course if you just want to leave then we can just get out of here” He rambles nervously, “ But you gotta tell me kid cause I’m kinda freaking out.”

“Can we get ice cream after?” You ask him

“What?”

“After the dance, we should go get ice cream.”

“Uh sure?” Tony says, “So what do you usually do at these things?”

You laugh and steer him to the tables where they have all the activities at. You actually have more fun with him than you had recently wit your dad. Tony is definitely more competitive than your father and treats every game as a challenge. Not like something he’s humoring just for his kid. He celebrates with you instead of telling you to calm down. He chats with the adults, is nice to the kids, and does the goofy dances with you. Seeing Iron Man do the chicken dance is something you didn’t know you needed till now. He managed to turn this horrible night to one of the best ones you’ve had in quite a while.

Finally the father daughter dance started to signal the end of the dance. Tony bowed dramatically and said in a horrible british accent, “ Lady Y/n?”

You laugh and make your way to the dance floor. You’re both quiet for a bit, snorting at how serious the other dads and their daughters look.

“Hey T?” You say softly, looking at the ground.

“Yeah kid?”

“Thank you. It’s nice to know that one of my dad's isn’t a total asshole.” You say. knowing that this is the first time you referred to Tony as your dad.

His eyes get misty as he clears his throat,

“Anytime, bug”

#tony stark x teen!reader #tony stark x daughter!reader #tony stark x reader #tony stark imagine #tony stark #tony is a step dad #step parents #fluff #tony is a good dad #reader insert #x reader #marvel x reader

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lemonluvgirl · 2 years

Text

The Purchase

So...I felt like re-posting one of my earlier fics and adding just a bit of spin to it.

Katniss Everdeen gets a request to bring back something that is sorely needed in District 12 that can only be purchased in the Capitol. Peeta helps. Fluffy and awkward Everlark moments!

The Capitol- sometime during the 74th Victory Tour

(Katniss POV)

I scowled into the receiver even though I knew my mother couldn’t see my expression.

“Katniss, my supplies are running low. I really need you to make this purchase for me.”

“No. I’m not buying that stuff.”

“The usual seller down at the Hob is gone, Katniss. And as a medical professional it's my duty to help the people of our community.”

“Well, then I guess some people will have to go without for a few weeks. What’s the big deal? No one’s going to die-”

“No, but the delay of easily available preventatives could end in unwanted surprises-”

“Why are you even in charge of that mom? Can’t they...go somewhere else?”

“Like where, Katniss? For some of these people, an apothecary like me is the only option. And I would rather provide preventive services than deal with a string of sick patients next winter.”

“They could always just, you know, opt not to.”

“Yes, that of course would be the ideal choice. But I think you know as well as any other teenager that sometimes people need a back up plan, in case plan A fails-”

“What do you mean I should know?”

“Katniss, you’re 18 years old now.”

“That doesn’t mean I’m interested in anything like--”

“Ok, ok. I apologize if I assumed something. But Katniss, this is important. Some of my patients are friends of yours, and they are relying-”

“Who?!”

“You know I can’t tell you anymore than that. Doctor/patient confidentiality.”

“Your business is under the table mom. They’re not going to sue you,”

“It's not my place to go spreading information about people’s private lives dear,”

“I just don’t believe you. I only have two...okay maybe three friends mom. None of them are that stupid. It's ridiculous, inconceivable.”

“Not everyone is always so logical when it comes to relationships or love Katniss,” She says and I snort. Of course not, that’s why stupid people got into stupid messes.

“Well, one of your friends came to me a while ago. I’m not going to tell you which one, but suffice to say, if you don’t want to attend any shotgun toastings anytime soon, you should include the supplies I asked for on your shopping list.”

“FINE.”

“Thank you.”

“Yeah, sure, mom. Look, we're leaving for the shopping center right now. I gotta go.”

“Alright.”

(Peeta POV)

I stifled a groan as we piled into the Capitol car. I had been looking forward to our outing to the shopping centers in the City Circle of the Capitol. There was a new dual thermodynamic self heating voice controlled oven that I’d heard about that I wanted to get a look at. But then Haymitch and Effie had said Katniss and I had to stick together, and not stray from their sight and my hopes sank.

The tour was so absolutely exhausting, and even though we had done pretty well in the wealthier districts and here in the Capitol I was desperate for just a small amount of normalcy. Just a few hours where I didn’t have to put on the public persona of 74th victor of the Hunger Games. Sometimes Katniss and I were able to sneak away and just sit quietly in a coat closet for half an hour or so, but it was so uncomfortable just wallowing in miserable silence while we tried to get away from the public eye for a few minutes.

So now, we had to plaster on some fake smiles and Katniss and I had to figure out a way to divide our time between the shops we wanted to see, since they were on opposite ends of the shopping district.

I was surprised when she said she had someplace she wanted to go. Usually she just hung around the food places apathetically. Or found a nice stairwell to take a nap in. But no, the one day when I wanted to go and see the presentation of the new oven, she had to take an interest in some store called Pieces of Midnight.

I had no idea what it was, but she had asked Effie for a directory on all the stores inside the shopping district and after a few moments picked it out quietly and handed me the map.

She sat next to me, in a soft white looking sweater and slacks, looking beautiful and bored and surly. Her hip was pressed against mine because of the tight quarters in the car. And I had to mentally remind myself not to lean in and try to catch a whiff of her lemony shampoo.

All this time we’d been spending together again, and all the sleeping in the same bed, was starting to dig at me. And I was glad the tour was almost over. I needed a reset from her and her soft body pressed against mine in the dark, and her soft looking lips pressed into an unconscious pout as she looked through the window at the scenes we passed.

I ran my hand through my hair absentmindedly, turning away and trying not to stare at her. Haymitch looked over at me with a knowing expression. He had been dropping hints about Katniss and I for weeks now. And I’d tried to tell him to cut it out, because I’d worked really hard to get to this place with her. We were friends, really good friends. And we were a great team. And, ok, maybe I wasn’t exactly overjoyed with those labels, but it was better than us not being on speaking terms like we were after our Games. But Haymitch just wouldn’t let it drop.

He could be such a pain sometimes.

He shrugs and looks over towards the car bar, no doubt wondering if he can sneak a few drinks in while Effie worries over the schedule and the number of stores we’ve promised to visit.

This was going to be a long evening.

After visiting 6 shops consecutively, Katniss can’t keep the scowl off her face and Effie is about ready to pull her wig off in frustration. I roll my eyes and wander over to the back where there is no doubt a storage room where I might be able to get 5 minutes of peace.

I’m running my finger over a rack of synthetic fabrics in a wild array of colors when Katniss comes in a grabs my hand, tugging me along behind her.

“Where are we-” I whisper as she pulls me along but she just raises a finger to her lips in a gesture for silence. She pulls me back behind several rows of coats and tugs me down to the floor where we both crouch anxiously.

The next few minutes are a flurry of peacekeepers and our mentor and escort raising all hell trying to find us. They are almost frantic, and send out guards to find us with our descriptions. I feel immensely bad for making Effie and Haymitch worry but Katniss squeezes my arm and shoots me a look that pleads for me to remain quiet. At the last minute before Haymitch walks out the door he looks right at the spot where Katniss and I are hiding and he gives us a small wink.

We wait for a few minutes before the coast is clear.

Katniss emerges from the racks and helps me to my feet.

“Why did we do that?” I ask her.

“Don’t you just want one day for yourself Peeta? Just one?” She asks me with a penetrating look.

“Of course, but Katniss, what are we gonna do? Hang out in this storage room all day?”

“No. We’re going to visit the places we want.”

“And how exactly are we going to do that Ms. Everdeen? We’re famous remember?”

“That’s where you come in.” She replies and gestures towards the racks of clothes, wigs, and accessories. I grin back at her and pluck a purple flowing wig off a mannequin and hold it out to her. She smiles back at me mischievously.

After some clever styling we slip out the back of the store. Its a giddy and euphoric feeling to be out in public and just be another face among the crowd.

Katniss reaches out to take my hand in hers, when we pass by a couple of Peacekeepers that are scanning the crowd, no doubt for us. I give her small hand a reassuring squeeze. We pass by the peacekeepers without them recognizing us and she breathes a sigh of relief, but she doesn’t let go of my hand.

I find myself grinning at her and she looks up at me.

“What?” She asks, her brows scrunching in confusion.

“Nothing, this is just more fun than I thought it would be.” I reply.

“Well, the stuff that’s frowned upon usually is.” She says with a shrug and I can’t help but laugh at the old joke. She chuckles too, a little under her breath and I get the urge to pull her closer.

She asks me where I want to go and I tell her about the new oven, its on the other side of the avenue from us, though and the store she wants to visit is closer so I agree to go to her store first, and then mine after.

She sends me a grateful smile and I feel a little too warm underneath my over sized orange coat that I borrowed from the store. I’m embarrassed by how easily she throws me off, even after all the time we’ve spent together. Just one of her smiles can wreck me unlike any other girl I’ve ever met. Which makes it so hard to be just friends with her. I shake my head to clear it of my worries.

I decide to go ahead and just enjoy the time together, even if it's just as friends. I’m tired of trying to keep myself on such a tight ship. So I throw my arm around her shoulder and she surprisingly doesn't startle, or stiffen up under my touch.

She smiles at me a little, and it makes my heart skip a beat. And we just walk on, companionably. Well, at least for her it's companionably, for me...not so much. She feels nice under my arm.

“I think we’re almost there,” She says and I look back down at the map directory. Sure enough she’s right.

When we finally get there, the shop is on the smaller side and its exterior is a purple sparkly color. The window display shows only a small hanging arrangement of the moon, with stars suspended around it. So I don’t automatically know what will be sold inside. Models? Dioramas? But I follow Katniss inside regardless.

And...I’m startled out of my wits when my eyes catch the first display.

There’s a giant pile of boxes stacked in a pyramid shape with a huge sign advertising edible underwear...buy two get the third free…

I turn to gape over at Katniss, but she’s already walking off quickly.

“I just need to get something really quick. You can wait here if you want or go look around. I’ll find you when I’m done.” She calls over her shoulder and I want to tell her to wait, to explain this, but I’m speechless and she’s gone in a blink.

I think I make some kind of croaking sound as I watch her retreat into the maze of isles. Isles filled with lingerie, and toys...and….

A sex shop...Katniss brought me to a sex shop…

What the holy crap?

Before I can even get my bearings, there’s a clerk at my elbow asking me if she can help me find anything in particular.

And I can’t get a word out, I’m blushing so hard. We don’t have anything like this in 12. Sex is like a dirty secret, something talked about in hushed whispers but not fit to be discussed in polite society. Also discussions of sex often lead to discussions of pregnancy and contraceptives. And since contraceptives are illegal in all of the districts, there’s another reason why people don’t talk about it much. Of course here in the Capitol it's different. And there are no restrictions on contraceptives. Sex is everywhere. But it's always kind of impersonal and unrealistic when people bring it up in conversations or I catch glimpses of it on the Capitol tv channels. Here in an actual store, whose business is to sell to people whatever they fantasize about it actually feels more real and personal than ever.

Had I walked into some kind of alternate reality or something? Had Katniss Everdeen been replaced by an alien creature of some sort? What are we doing here?

Suddenly I was too hot in the overlarge orange coat, and I peeled it off and tucked it under my arm while I also removed the large hat I was wearing. I needed to get my bearings for just a minute.

“Oh! Its You! Wow! WELL! What a pleasant surprise!” I hear a voice to my side exclaim excitedly.

Shit. I forgot about the sales girl. I looked over at her worriedly.

“Mr. Mellark! Do you know what you’re looking for? I’d be happy to help you with anything. And of course all purchases made in our store come with the upmost guarantee in discretion.” The shop girl says.

She’s young, probably too young to be working here. She looks about my age or maybe a year or two older. Wearing an off the shoulder green dress. She’s petite, blond, with green eyes. And she’s blinking up at me, with a coy smile on her lips.

Oh, crap. Not this again. Women had been getting especially aggressive lately, ever since I’d proposed to Katniss. It seemed being betrothed had the opposite effect it should have and I was getting more propositions now than ever. Not that I hadn't thought about it. And not that it wouldn’t be absurdly easy. I just didn’t think it would help anything in the long run. There was only one offer I was interested in...and she was only interested in being my friend. So, I was stuck in limbo for the time being.

“Um, no, I think maybe I’ll just wait here for my...girlfriend to come back…” I say quietly, looking away from her pink lip gloss smile.

“Don’t you mean fiance?” She says as she leans in just a bit.

“Oh, yeah, finance. Sorry, I keep forgetting that fancy word.” I say and reflexively take a step further inside the store, if only to put a little distance between us. Sometimes women got handsy as well as suggestive. And I’d rather not deal with that today.

“Oh, that’s just too cute.” She says with a laugh as she clasps her hands behind her back and arches just slightly, pushing her breasts out...

“Uh-” I stammer unintelligibly, because well...I’m a guy and every now and then a girl really did still surprise me or catch me off guard. She was really pretty too.

“You know, I’m a really big fan.” She says, finally relaxing and looking over at me again, with a secretive glint in her eye and a subtly arched eyebrow.

Damn she was good at flirting. I’d give her that.

“Thanks?” I reply finally, trying to reign in my responses. I know it's just a lot of built up sexual tension from spending so much time with Katniss. And getting attention from a good looking girl was pretty nice but….Katniss. Where was she again?

“So if there’s anything you see that you like around here, just let me know. Since it's your first time, you can get the Victor’s discount.” She says as she tosses her blond tresses over her shoulder.

And when she does, I can see she has one of those new Capitol tattoos, that change colors depending on the person’s mood, on her shoulder. It's in the shape of a compass star. Originally black, but right now it's slowly turning a deep burgundy color. My eyes are a little fascinated with the transformation of the ink.

“The what?” I ask, not quite having heard her words. Jeez, maybe Haymitch had been right and I just needed to get laid...just once? Maybe?

“The victor’s discount...on whatever you like...do you see anything you like?” She asks as she looks up at me, and I realize she’s caught me staring at her shoulder and her tattoo. And I probably turn about 10 different shades of red...maybe even burgundy...

I have no idea how to answer her question. It's painfully obvious she’s flirting with me. And I can’t deny that she’s attractive. But Katniss...

“Peeta?” Kantiss’s voice breaks the girl's hold on me and I whip my head over in her direction guiltily. She’s standing a few feet away, unconcerned look on her face as she takes me and the store clerk in.

“Katniss, I was just-” I start to say, to explain, I don’t know why… it just feels like I was doing something wrong. But Katniss and I aren’t even really together. So why does it feel wrong to have been caught staring at another girl?

“Come over here, I need your help.” She interrupts me before I could stammer out a useless explanation.

“Sure!” I exclaim and jog over to her, leaving the shop girl and her offer behind.

I’m still trying to clear my thoughts, when she grabs my hand and drags me through the labyrinth of isles. She’s shed her overlarge coat too and the rest of her disguise I notice. But I only have think about it for a second as the items we pass in the isles practically scream for attention.

I didn’t know there could be so many different kinds of accessories, outfits, and stuff. The people here in the Capitol must be really bored if they need all this crap to keep themselves entertained.

But when we get to a smaller aisle, with rows of boxes, she finally stops.

“Ok, which ones are good? Or the best, or whatever?” She asks me, her grey eyes serious.

“What?!” I exclaim, as I stare at the boxes, stacked on top of each other. Condoms...lots and lots of condoms. With different colors, textures, and flavors…

What the heck does she want with all this? Had she finally decided to take things to the next level with Gale? And if so what the heck made her think I wanted to be involved in the selection process of whatever contraceptive they used while he-

“Don’t you know which ones are dependable or whatever?”

“No! Why would I? And why would you ask me something like this?”

“Because we’re friends, and I needed help.”

“I think this is a little too personal for me to help you with sorry, maybe you should just talk to Gale yourself if you want to know what he prefers-”

“I can’t talk to Gale about this-”

“Why the hell not? If he wants you to, then he should be able to take some of the responsibility,”

“What?”

“Nothing, just, I don’t think I can help-”

“Peeta... you think...you think I’m asking for ME?! And Gale?!”

“Well, why else?”

She starts laughing so hard she doubles over. I realize that I may have been jumping to conclusions. This is Katniss after all. Maybe the explanation is innocent. Or maybe she’s asking for my opinion because she finally...no...no...she couldn’t possibly, not with me…

Could she?

Then she’s laughing so hard she’s got tears in the corners of her eyes.

Nope. Definitely not with me. She tosses her head back and sucks in great gulps of air as she slaps her palm on my forearm. I should be offended by all this. Her, dragging me here, confusing me, and laughing at my confusion.

But she’s so damn cute. I start to laugh too, and then we’re both practically howling. And I laugh so hard I have to sit down. And she does too after a bit.

“Sorry, I guess I didn’t really explain. My mother asked me to buy some to refill her stockpile. Apparently she’s District 12’s resident contraceptive dispensary.” She tells me with a roll of her eyes.

“Oh, yeah, my brothers used to go to her a lot when they were in high school.” I comment. And suddenly it all does make sense, in a perfectly rational, but also confusing and very Katniss way.

“What? Really? So everyone knew but me?” She asks in a flabbergasted tone.

I shrugged. She was so innocent. It was precious and infuriating, and today it was downright hilarious.

“Maybe it was a blessing in disguise you never knew before now, considering the fiasco we had. Sorry I couldn’t be more helpful, but I know just as much about this stuff as you probably do.” I admit and my cheeks burn a little but she just smiles gently at me.

She stands up to offer me her hand. I take it, and let her help me up since my prosthesis can be a little tricky when I switch from sitting to standing.

“Well, that narrows the field down some for possible suspects. Although, with the way that shop girl was eyeing you-” She says quietly, under her breath.

“Huh? What did you say?” I ask, wondering just how much of the conversation with the clerk she had picked up on.

“Oh,” She says, a little surprised, as if she hadn’t realized she’s been speaking out loud.

“Well, it's just my mother said one of my friends had come to her for this stuff. And I only have three friends in the world.”

“Who are your other friends besides Gale?”

“You. Madge Undersee. And Haymitch, I guess, except I don’t really feel like we’re friends with him so much these days, it's more like we’re his…”

“Babysitters when he’s had one too many drinks?” I offer with a smirk.

“Yeah, more like that, I guess.” She laughs deeply and it makes me feel warm inside.

“You should’ve asked him. I bet he’d know more about it.”

“I don’t want to ask Haymitch about this stuff. It’d be embarrassing.” She says as she wrinkles her small nose.

“I guess you’re right.” I tell her with a shrug.

“So how am I gonna decide which ones to get?” She asks in a troubled voice, as she looks back at the intimidating rows of boxes. And because it would be an absolutely terrible but hilarious idea, and I want to make her laugh again I lean over and whisper in her ear conspiratorially.

Then...

We try to keep our faces straight when we walk up to the counter, each of us with our arms piled high with boxes of condoms in every size, flavor, and texture imaginable.

The clerk looks up in absolute astonishment when we dump the haul on her countertop.

“We’ll take them all.” Katniss says in a confident and serious tone. But she has an absolutely evil glint in her eye. And the clerk looks back and forth between the two of us. Katniss steps closer to me, and incredibly drapes an arm over my shoulder. I look over in surprise, but she just smiles at me.

“Think that’ll be enough for the honeymoon darling?” She asks with a totally innocent air, and oh, it's so perfect, and incredible that I just want to make out with her right there on the spot.

But instead I say, “To start with at least.” In the best nonchalant way possible. And I think I can practically feel the astonishment come off the shop girl in waves. But when I turn to smile at her, she composes herself quickly and starts ringing up the boxes under Katniss’s watchful gaze.

“And don’t forget to add the Victor’s discount.” Katniss chimes in, and I have to bite my lip to keep from laughing.

Man, oh man, I really loved this woman…

“Of course, Ms. Everdeen.” The blond says and I can see her tattoo is now turning a faintly green color…

We leave the shop with two bags full. And as soon as we’re past the door we burst out laughing.

“Oh, Peeta, did you see her face?” Katniss huffs out breathlessly between laughs.

“Yeah,” I say between chuckles. She looks so beautiful right now, her cheeks rosey and her eyes sparkling.

“Your acting skills have vastly improved.” I tell her and she snorts out a little disbelieving laugh.

“You were so convincing. I thought she was going to rip up your money. She was so pissed at you.” She tells me with a disbelieving shake of her head.

“Oh, that- that was just-” I stammer as I try to respond.

“Peeta, she liked you. She was really pretty.” She tells me with a calm and searching gaze. I blush a little, and look away. God, how could she say these things to me?

“I prefer brunettes.” I say dryly, to try and change the subject and cut the tension a little.

She rolls her eyes at me, but then she looks back and stretches up on her tiptoes to kiss my cheek.

“What was that for?” I ask in astonishment.

“For helping me, and for making me laugh, and forget about everything for an afternoon.” And then she steps into me and wraps me in a hug. And I just relish the feeling of having her close to me, in a sincere and genuine way.

This is for me, not the cameras, and it feels wonderful. I wrap my arms around her, shopping bags twisting together, and hug her back. She relaxes into me and I feel my heart skip a beat again.

And the perfect moment is interrupted by the telltale click of a camera shutter a few yards away across the street.

“Damn,” I mutter under my breath. There goes our evening. No doubt the rest of the cameras will be swarming us any minute now.

She smiles, partly amused into my shirt.

“It's alright. We had a lot of fun.” She says, before lifting her head up and catching me in a kiss.

It takes my breath away, a little, even though I should expect it by now. Her lips move over mine softly, gently, but there’s an edge of a smile in her kisses that makes me want to keep tasting her delicious mouth. So I pull her closer, and kiss her back with just a little bit of heat. And her breath deepens against me, and she slips her tongue into my mouth...for just a bit, before we break apart.

And if she had been blushing and gorgeous before, now she was flushed and radiant. And I was simultaneously looking forward and dreading our inevitable separation at the end of this tour.

“We better go find everyone else.” She says, a little breathlessly. And I smile at her.

“Sure.” I say as I drape my arm around her again. Because it really does feel nice, and I’d like to enjoy all of these sharp, pleasurable, confusing, amazing feelings while I still can.

“Do we still have time to catch that thing you wanted to see?” She asks as she adjusts her bag on her arm before we cross the street.

“Maybe, but even if we don’t I’m good just hanging with you.” I tell her sincerely and she gives me the warmest smile I’ve seen from her in a while. She bumps her hip into mine playfully and then wraps one small arm around my wait.

And she leans into me as we start to walk away together.

#everlark #everlarkfluff #misunderstanding #cuteness #lemonluvwrites #quick drabble

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queenshelby · 3 years

Text

DRAMA TEACHER – PART ONE

Featuring: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Smut, Divorce, Broken Relationship, Mention of Abuse

Words: 3,567

***New to Dublin***

It has been several weeks since you moved from the UK to Dublin to start a new life with your son Lucas who recently turned 16.

You left an abusive relationship and finally filed for divorce. Nonetheless, Lucas blamed you for everything even for the fact that his father wasn’t allowed to see him until the court orders have been finalised due to his addictions and history of violence.

Lucas hated the fact that he was now attending a new school and, just after two days, he was getting himself into trouble for smoking weed on school premises.

Despite this, you enjoyed your new job as a drama teacher and had recently suggested to the director of the school that it would be fantastic for the children who enrolled into your extra curriculum arts program to participate in an actual play in front of their families and the teachers of the school.

‘What do you think about it Adam?’ you asked. Adam was the school principal and your friend since high school. He always had a crush on you, but never admitted it. It wasn’t until recently that he finally asked you for a date, an offer which you declined since you were working with him on a daily basis.

‘Sure, if you think the students are willing and able to put in this kind of effort, why not?’ Adam said, allowing you to take charge of the extra curriculum drama activities as you see fit. He was just glad to have you on board after the last drama and literature teacher employed by the school was a disaster.

‘I have about six students in two of my classes who seem to be very talented and I think it would be beneficial for them to build up the confidence they need if they want to pursue a career in acting’ you explained before giving Adam the names of the six students.

‘Perhaps you can suggest it to their parents?’ you then went on to say and Adam agreed.

Three weeks later, you got notice from Adam advising you that five out of the six students wish to participate in the program but, in order to be signed off by the board, you would need to find five more students and a volunteer parent to assist you with any work that is to be conducted outside school premises due to regulations imposed by the board.

‘You’ve got anyone in mind?’ you asked.

‘Actually, one of the parents has offered and I think he would be a good fit as he is a well-known actor and has had several stage performances himself’ Adam explained.

‘I assume you are talking about Hendrix and Charlie’s dad?’ you asked, remembering having met him a few times already at pick up on Wednesdays and every second Friday.

‘Yes, Cillian Murphy’ Adam said before continuing on ‘Cillian mentioned that he’s got no engagements for the next three months, so I suggest you talk to him’ Adam suggested.

‘Alright. So, do you know each other since you are on first name basis?’ you asked surprised.

‘Yes, for a matter of fact, I do. His brother is married to my sister. We occasionally have a few drinks. He is easy going. You will get along just fine’ Adam said.

‘Alright, I will talk to him then. Thanks Adam’ you said before quickly leaving Adam’s office.

Adam had recently made yet another attempt to ask for a date which you pushed back on, which meant that you tried to engage in as little small talk as possible.

***Interested in Someone Else***

The following Wednesday, when Cillian picked up his boys from school, you approached him. You felt somewhat uncomfortable about it, knowing that he was probably overqualified for this task. But, he had offered and there was no one else who you thought could do a better job with the students than someone like him, someone with experience.

‘Uhm, Mr Murphy, do you have a minute?’ you asked as he was trying to get his sons to pack up their bags while they were too busy fighting with each other once again. They both were very creative, but also very messy and constantly argued.

‘Oh no…what did they do?’ he chuckled as he pulled Hendrix’s bag apart looking for the rest of the mandarin peel which Charlie had stuffed in there just seconds ago to get under Hendrix’s skin.

‘Jesus Hendrix’ he huffed as he found three empty chocolate wrappers instead and put them into the bin.

‘Sorry Miss L/N, you have my attention now…you were saying?’ he chuckled

‘The boys are great, really well behaved’ you said as you noticed that Cillian looked at you with concern, thinking his sons were in trouble.

‘Really? I find that hard to believe’ he laughed before telling them off again for fighting with each other.

‘I have spoken to our principal, Mr Walsh, and he mentioned that you would be willing to get involved in the drama project as a volunteer. In order to get it approved by our board, I would need one parent to volunteer’ you explained shyly.

‘That’s right, so long as it is within the next three months. After that I will be in the US for a few months for work’ Cillian explained just before the boys interrupted him.

‘I assume that’s what the beard is for?’ you grinned, having noticed that it has slowly been growing longer and longer over the past few weeks.

‘Unfortunately’ he laughed, running one of his hands over his stubble just as Charlie came over and interrupted him.

‘Seriously Dad? Do you know how embarrassing this will be for us if you are working with Miss L/N?’ Charlie huffed.

‘Yes, Charlie wants to impress Nadine Seymour and you are really going to ruin it’ Hendrix teased, causing Charlie to nudge him

‘No fighting and no girlfriends! Understood?’ Cillian chuckled before inviting you for a coffee on Friday after school so that you can discuss the drama program.

You gladly accepted Cillian’s invitation, much to his sons’ disappointment.

‘Are you having a date with our teacher? That’s so disgusting’ you then heard Hendrix say as Cillian was walking off with them.

***Two Weeks Later***

Two weeks later, your drama project was in full swing and you had decided to allow the students to practise their play at a real theatre in Dublin once per week when Cillian was available.

You and Cillian got along well and his boys continuously teased him about hanging out with their teacher. But there was nothing awkward between you until, one day, you engaged into some deeper conversation while none of the children were around.

Cillian had found out about your son’s problems at school. His boys had told him about Lucas’s reputation and, over a few hours and a few beers following theatre practise, you opened up to him about your divorce and your relationship with Lucas’s father.

You didn’t know why you told him, but you enjoyed his company. He was a good listener and he was quite reserved and private which made you trust him.

But, over the following week, you started to enjoy his company a little too much. He certainly was an attractive man and, by what you could tell, a fantastic father. He seemed perfect and you knew you shouldn’t fantasise about him the way you did over that past week.

This was easier said than done. He had everything your ex lacked. He was patient, kind and empathetic. You enjoyed working with him and your son soon noticed, giving you a hard time about it soon enough.

To your surprise, after about three weeks of working together and following the last practise, Cillian took matters a little further than you had expected and, after all the kids had left and his boys had been picked up by their mother, Cillian asked you whether you wanted to have dinner with him some time.

You politely declined his offer, explaining to him that you weren’t ready to start dating and that sure felt like a date to you.

That same night, you regretted your decision after talking to your sister about it. You trusted your sister with everything and you encouraged you to give him a chance.

You were afraid to develop feeling, to let anyone to your life, but you were of the view that you must learn how to trust before you can love again.

‘Does your dinner offer still stand?’ you texted Cillian that night, hoping that he would reply quickly to your message.

‘It sure does’ Cillian texted back within seconds.

‘Pick me up at 6 o’clock tomorrow? Lucas is having a sleep over at a friend’s place’ you responded.

‘6 o’clock it is’ Cillian texted back.

***Date Night***

The following evening, Cillian picked you up at 6 o’clock as promised and, after complimenting your outfit, which was a black buttoned dress, you both got into his car and drove into Dublin’s city centre.

‘So where are you taking me?’ you asked somewhat shyly and Cillian was quick to hand you a pamphlet.

‘A theatre?’ you asked surprised.

‘Sort of. It is a restaurant in the arts district where you can watch pop up shows during the drama festival. It’s contemporary, but you might spot some real good talent there’ Cillian explained and your excitement was growing.

His idea was very thoughtful and you appreciated the fact that this wasn’t going to be your average Italian restaurant date.

Over dinner you and Cillian talked a lot about your lives, your relationships and your children while watching the most interesting people perform the most interesting short plays. Some of them were real pieces of art and the performers put an immense effort into their performance and costumes.

After about two hours, Cillian offered to drive you home and you gladly accepted his offer.

‘Uhm would you like to come up for a drink?’ you asked as you arrived at your apartment building.

‘Sure, yes, why not’ Cillian said before turning off his car and following you to your apartment.

But the drink never eventuated and, as soon as you opened the door to your apartment, Cillian’s lips were on yours.

‘Fuck I am sorry Y/N’ Cillian said, pulling back quite quickly as he realised that things were probably moving too fast for you after what you had told him a few days ago.

‘No, don’t. I want this’ you reassured him, your voice quiet and your eyes fierce before pressing your lips back onto his.

‘For once, I want to feel like a real woman. I want to be desired... loved, I want to know what this feels like’ you said as you could see the fire in his eyes as you slowly dragged him into your bedroom.

He stepped forward then, tilting your chin up with his finger, brushing his lips over yours, and allowing his tongue to caress your lower lip. Your body shook softly as you melted into his embrace, your lips parting, granting access to Cillian's tongue, which immediately snaked into your mouth and embarked on a search for yours.

You sighed softly, draping your arms around his neck and pressing your body against Cillian's torso. The kiss was deep, passionate and almost immediately took your breath away. It was unlike anything you had ever experienced, stoking the fire already burning deep within your body. When Cillian finally released you from his embrace you were left panting and wanting more.

‘You are beautiful, you know that?’ Cillian whispered as he started unbuttoning the black dress that draped so alluringly across your breasts and waist.

‘If you say so’ you giggled before looking straight into his eyes. You proceeded to shrug the dress from your shoulders, blushing as Cillian's eyes consumed you.

He kissed you again, his hands sliding down to cup your ass as he pressed his fully hard cock against you.

‘I want you, Cillian’ you gasped softly as you felt him rubbing against you.

He walked you slowly back to the bed, laying you down gently and stripping his clothes from his body. You looked up at him, biting your lip, as he first pulled his t-shirt over his head, exposing his perfectly shaped chest and torso. Your heart began to pound as he kicked off his shoes and undid his pants, dropping them to his ankles. In no time at all his cock was free and pointing proudly to the ceiling.

You stared at it from your place on the bed, mesmerized by the way it bobbed and weaved as he gazed lustily at your nearly naked body.

You gasped when Cillian got to his knees, spreading your legs and placing soft butterfly kisses on your thighs. You blushed, knowing what Cillian intended, an act that your ex-husband had never, in all your years of marriage, performed.

‘Cillian’ you said quietly, attempting to close your legs.

Cillian held them apart gently as he looked up at your quizzically.

‘I've never...I've never had anyone do that to me’ you said, refusing to meet his eyes.

‘Really?’ he asked surprised and you answered by shaking your head almost shyly.

‘Well, there is a first time for everything Y/N. Just relax. I will stop whenever you tell me to, alright?’ he said, attempting to soothe and calm you and you nodded, biting your lip in anticipation.

And with that he reached up and grasped the waist of your panties, tugging at them gently. You submitted, lifting your hips and closing your eyes as Cillian slid the panties down your thighs. You kept your legs clamped tightly together however as he dropped them to the floor.

Your ex husband had been the first and only men you’ve been with and you were beyond nervous.

‘Cillian’ you murmured as he pressed gently on the insides of your knees in a silent request.

Your legs parted in response and you blushed a deep red at the thought of your most intimate spot exposed to Cillian's gaze. Leaning forward, he kissed the inside of each of your thighs before, a moment later, his tongue was buried in your soft folds, tasting your sweetness. Your body bucked wildly as he drew his tongue through your sweet flesh, your hips rising from the bed from the jolts of pure pleasure that shot through your body when he discovered the little bud that was your clit.

‘Oh God, Cillian!’ you moaned, covering your eyes with the back of your hand.

He opened your legs a little more, twisting his head and running the tip of his tongue the full length of your glistening pussy, savoring the sweet taste of your juice. Reaching up, he found one of your stiff nipples and tugged at it softly as he continued exploring you with his mouth.

You moaned, squirming on the bed from the pleasure building within you as he relentlessly worked at your pussy.

‘Don't stop please, fuck’ you hissed, grasping at the sheet and closing your thighs around his head.

Cillian had no intention of stopping as his tongue lapped at you, his mouth moving in circles as he sought ways to enhance your pleasure. Your body arched upwards when his lips closed around your clit, sucking it into his mouth and flicking at it gently with the very tip of his tongue. Your breathing was ragged, your moans increasing in volume as his mouth worked relentlessly at your sex. It took no more than a few minutes for your pleasure to build to an overwhelming level.

‘Oh my God! Cillian! Oh my God!’ you screamed as a searing orgasm claimed you.

Your entire body shuddered and shook as wave after wave of pleasure coursed through you. Cillian simply gripped your thighs and continued to lick your clit as your body convulsed on the bed. The orgasm seemed to go on forever and it was at least a minute before your mind was once again in control, Finally, your eyes flickered open and you looked at Cillian shyly, his head still positioned between your thighs.

‘Cillian, that was...oh my God, it was amazing. I never imagined...’ you said exhausted.

Cillian raised his head, grinning.

‘There's a lot more to come, Y/N’ he replied, raising himself to your knees.

He could see the trepidation on your face as you eyed his hard, swollen cock which pointed eagerly towards the ceiling.

‘It's okay, I will go slowly’ he said softly, caressing your thigh with his fingers. ‘Do you have…?’ he then went on to ask and, before he could finish his sentence, you shook your head.

‘I’ve just had my implant replaced’ you assured him and this was all he needed to hear.

Reaching down and grasping his member he dragged his head through your folds, causing you to moan once again. The heat from his cock was palpable, the touch of it electric, as he moved it through your puffy lips.

‘Cillian, please... I need you’ you moaned.

‘Not yet, Y/N’ he teased, sliding the head of his cock up and down your slick slit, spreading your soft lips but refusing to penetrate your just yet.

‘God, Cillian... please’ you begged.

He relented then, groaning as he pushed the head of his cock into you, your tight walls gripping him as he pushed deeper, filling you.

‘Oh god yes’ you hissed, your eyes glued to his as he began stroking the full length of his cock into you.

He kissed you, taking your mouth with his as you moaned in pleasure. Drawing his hips back, Cillian's cock slid easily from your sex, eliciting a delicious whimper from your throat. Immediately he thrust back into you in one smooth movement and then repeated the action, giving you deep hard strokes as he built to a steady rhythm.

You moaned and squirmed beneath him; your body rising from the bed to meet each thrust of his almost perfect manhood.

‘Cillian, fuck’ you gasped as he worked himself in and out of you. Your body was on fire, every nerve alight as Cillian fucked you in a way you had never before experienced. Usually, your ex-husband would mount you and simply jackhammer into you for a couple of minutes before gasping in your ear as he came. Cillian, however, was intent on ensuring your pleasure, varying the pace and depth of his thrusts, gyrating his hips against yours, and changing the angle now and then to ensure that he ground against your clit.

Fuck, Y/N... you are so tight. It feels so good’ Cillian moaned.

Cillian, no...’ you whimpered as he pulled his cock from you.

‘Don’t worry, I am not finished with you yet. Turn over’ he chuckled.

You scrambled to your hands and knees quickly, the need to have Cillian's cock inside you driving your movements. Cillian, for his part, felt the same and he wasted no time in entering you again.

He thrust deep into you, driving the breath from your body as he pounded his cock into your sweet, tight pussy over and over. You were in heaven; Cillian was taking you in exactly the way you had imagined so many times over the past few weeks when you dreamt about him. His desire for you palpable in every thrust of his rock-hard member.

As Cillian continued to thrust into you, you buried your face in the pillow, moaning continuously as Cillian took you, the friction of his shaft against your tight walls sending waves of pleasure to the sensory centers of your brain. Instinctively, you pushed back against him, attempting to get every inch of him into you. You were rewarded with a long, guttural moan.

‘Y/N, I'm close’ he warned you.

‘Good, so am I’ you gasped in response. ‘Take me, Cillian’ you moaned.

He picked up the pace, his thrusting becoming almost desperate as he fought to make you finish before he did. He held you in place tightly, his solid shaft slamming into you again and again.

Suddenly you were there, crying out loudly as an intense, almost nuclear, burst of pleasure erupted from deep within and spread through your body.

‘Oh god yes, Cillian fuck’ you screamed, your pussy convulsing around Cillian's shaft.

The sight and sound of your orgasm was too much for Cillian and after just a few more thrusts, he too erupted, forcing spurts of warm cum into you. His eyes glazed and he lost all sense of time and place as he surrendered to the intense pleasure swamping his body.

‘Fuck, that's so good!’ he panted as the two of you, shuddering and shaking in unison, reveled in the fruits of your labor.

Finally, it was over. Gently, you uncoupled your panting bodies and, rolling onto his back, Cillian gasped again, eliciting a wide smile from you.

You snuggled against his warm chest, your thigh cast carelessly over his legs. You were content, basking in the warm glow of perfect sex.

But, your sense of lust and desire was soon to come to an end as you heard Lucas shouting.

‘Mum, are you home?’ he yelled out, causing both Cillian’s and your eyes to widen.

Tag List (Cillian):

@lilymurphy03 @deefigs @theflamecrystal @desperate-and-broken @weepingstudentfishhorse @livinginfantaxy @rosey1981 @atomicsoulcollecto @peakyboyslover @nerdy4itall @elenavampire21 @hanster1998 @mariapaiva13 @fairypitou @harry-is-my-sunflower @zozeebo @lauren-raines-x @kasaikawa @littlewierdalien @sad-huffle-nerd @theflamecrystal @peakymalfoyscullymulder @themissthang @0ghostwriter0 @stylescanbeatmyback @1-800-peakyblinders @datewithgianni @momoneymolife @ntmynouis @lilymurphy03 @mcntsee@cloudofdisney @missymurphy1985 @peakymalfoyscullymulder @otterly-fey @janelongxox @uchihacumdump @basiclassy @being-worthy @chaotic-bean-of-smolness @margoo0 @chocolatehalo @vhscillian @ysmmsy

Cannot Tag (please check your settings):

@l0tsofpennies @trolleydolly @avonlady1985 @chrisevanshoeee @daydreamingnymph @fookingshelby

#cillian murphy #Cillian Murphy x Reader #cillian murphy smut #cillian murphy imagine

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adam-banks2024 · 3 years

Text

Deja Vu

Part 1

Word Count: 2.3k

Summary: Kind of angst for now, backstory, arguments, and extremely slow burn. Also future poly

He’s insufferable

He’s arrogant. He’s rude. He’s annoying.

He is insufferable.

And I have to deal with him.

Of all the people Mrs. Moore could have partnered me with, she just had to choose him. It’s not like we even put a show on in public, and it’s sad but, everybody knows about the feud between us that started four years ago.

I had just moved to town from three states over, and I didn’t know anyone my age. After a few weeks of summer went by of not knowing anyone, my dad convinced me to join the district’s hockey team. He told me that it was because he wanted me to make some friends, but I knew that he really just couldn’t afford to pay a babysitter. And my mother, well, she wasn’t in the picture. So I ended up having to go through the lost and found at six different ice rinks in Minnesota in order to get all of my equipment. At first, I was wary of the idea, but my dad said that it was kind of like shopping, so I agreed to go with him. Originally, we would have only had to search five rinks, but I couldn’t find any skates that were my size. After almost twelve hours of rummaging through sweaty pads and broken sticks, I had myself a full set of hockey gear.

Now I was on to the next challenge: How To Skate. I had been ice skating a couple of times before for birthday parties, but I’ve never been able to skate at the level that I had to in order to survive during an entire hockey game. I thought maybe it would just come to me naturally after attending a few practices. Until I did some research at the school library. Apparently, it takes a person at least two months to learn how to ice skate. But ignoring the negative, I decided to focus on the positive. ‘I could at least balance myself...and besides, I probably would be on the bench for every game...and just remember, you’re doing this for friends.’ These were the only three things that ran through my mind on the way to the ice rink. I was honestly terrified. I was scared that the other kids would make fun of me, or worse, ignore me. Well, maybe being made fun of is worse, but at least then they’d acknowledge me. I had to stop myself from thinking about that kinda stuff. I haven’t even attended a single hockey practice yet, and now I’ve added at least four more stressors into my life.

When my dad pulled up to the building, my stomach was tingling. My hands were clammy, and my eyebags had definitely seen better days. I wanted to run so fast away from this place, and not move at all at the same time.

“Nerves,” my dad said. He must’ve noticed from my frozen state in the backseat of his minivan. “You’ll do great! Just don’t break any bones.” He chuckled at the end in hopes that it would come off as a joke, but that is definitely not how it sounded.

To my surprise, I was the first kid that had arrived. I didn’t know much about the team, but I did know that most of the other kids had been on it since they were five or six years old. I was almost the exact opposite, thirteen and just starting. I wasn’t really sure why I was the first person to arrive, and it only added to my nervousness.

I tried to brush it off as I saw someone outside in the parking lot leave a car holding a bag like you had. I could hear his muffled voice. “I’ll see you at six.” Whoever he was talking to must have responded because the boy spoke again, “yup, love you too.” A parent maybe. A mom? I could faintly make out a silhouette in the driver’s seat, but the glare from the sun blocked most of the car window.

Thank god someone else was here because at least now I knew that I was in the right place. But another problem arose. Now, different things were rushing through my head about what to say to the other boy. Should I make a joke, ask a question? Simply say ‘hello’? I didn’t know. So, I decided to settle on the most stupid thing anyone could ever say.

“Are you on the hockey team?” What kind of question is that? He has a bag, this time is cut out specifically for hickey practice, and he has a hockey stick with him. Why else would he be here?

He looked up from where he was walking and stared at me awkwardly. It was likely that he wouldn’t have even noticed me if I hadn’t said anything to him. But I did. Which I regretted.

“Oh, um, yeah.” He went to keep on walking but he stopped himself quickly. “Are you?”

I had to keep a laugh in because the boy looked genuinely confused. Or maybe I misjudged that for concern. Still, though, it sounded a bit hopeful. This kid was really hard to read. Either way, I was pretty sure that he thought I couldn’t play hockey.

“Yeah. My dad made me join to make some friends.”

Suddenly the boy’s demeanor changed. He seemed almost excited that there was a new kid on the team. “Well, I’ll be your first friend. My name’s Adam. Adam Banks. Walk and talk.” And then he started towards two big double doors.

My eyebrows rose at the sudden confidence, taken off guard, but at least he was being friendly. I adjusted your bags and followed right behind him. “So what’s it like here.”

He answered after struggling to open one of the doors, “Well it’s not so bad. It’s super cutthroat during the regular season but in the offseason, it’s pretty relaxed.” As I made myself around the outside of the rink, he kept rambling. “Especially during summer league. The kids who only play during that league have it nice. You’ll definitely survive.”

“Um, so what happens during the regular season?” The thought of angry yelling coaches wasn’t appealing to me, but I could make it work

Adam shrugged his bag up so it wouldn’t fall from his shoulder, “Well. Usually, coach yells at us, tells us that if we don’t win we’re failures, and everyone is constantly fighting to be a starter.” There was silence. “So that’s fun.” I just nodded my head, trying to take this all in. Adam didn’t say anything until he reached the locker room doors. Then he turned to me. “Yeah, but coach is a lot less lenient during summer because it doesn’t really matter for playoffs.”

I scoffed, “yeah, but I’ll eventually have to deal with him. Right?”

Adam’s expression flattened, “Wait, you’re doing winter league too?” He looked genuinely concerned, and now I was second-guessing joining hockey. If this boy didn’t think I could survive, then how could I? Even if I was just gonna sit on the bench, the way this kid was making it out to be was not sounding like the greatest way to make friends.

“Well, yeah. Is that bad?” I needed to hear him say it. Say that I should quit, or join dance, or something. Just so I could have an excuse to tell my dad in case the first day of practice goes awry.

He spoke fast, “Oh no, no. It’s just that--”

“That I’m not good enough…”

He didn’t say anything. Harsh. I was just trying to make a joke but, I guess that’s what he was really thinking. We stood in silence for a few more seconds, and then he finally thought of something to respond with.

“No. I just feel like you’ll get hurt… and, um.”

I started to laugh. I applaud Adam for trying to make it seem like he didn’t think I was bad, but he just couldn’t do it. “Don’t sweat it, I know I’m gonna be bad.” He started to laugh with me. “Hey, at least I’ll get abs out of it.”

He and I were actually pretty good friends for the most part. He was my first friend here in Minnesota. He taught me how to skate, and in turn, I offered him some sub-par jokes. He always used to laugh at my jokes even if they were awful. He was what I considered my best friend. He definitely wasn’t a best friend, I couldn’t confide in all of my secrets, and he couldn’t do the same to me, but Adam was the only kid I was friends with. We laughed hard, we fell on the ice together. He even told his mom that practices started to end later just so he could wait with me until my dad got off work and picked me up.

Not long after we bonded, I hato the ducks. At the time, I didn’t know exactly what happened. All my dad said to me was something about how the coach wasn’t that nice, and that he didn’t want me on his team. I didn’t really care since hockey wasn’t something that I cared about too much. So I said goodbye to Adam and explained that I had to go. I didn’t say anything about the coach-not-liking-me part because then I thought he’d feel bad for me.

“Yeah, I’m supposed to switch teams too, but I think my dads’ gonna see if I can stay on the team.” He spoke almost as if he was trying to convince himself. I thought it was a great idea to tell him why he had to go to the ducks.

“They don’t want you, Adam. Maybe if you go to the ducks, you’ll get a coach who appreciates you.” I didn’t know what was wrong with what I said to him until about a year later, but by the time I finished my sentence, he was fuming.

The situation afterward was a blur, and I can’t remember what all was said. I just remember Adam touching on the fact how I’m an awful hockey player, and that he only talked to me because he felt sorry for me. Now, if my old coach had told me that I was awful at hockey, I’d be completely fine. I already knew that, and coach is just...coach. But hearing it come from Adam? It wasn’t like he was just telling me how it is, he wanted to hurt me.

It took me two weeks to stop thinking about the situation constantly, and then it started to fade away. I never even told him the real reason why I told him what I did, but now I have to work on a history project with him. How am I gonna do that if I can’t even tell him the reason for our quarrel that we had three years ago? Let alone complete a whole project?

“The syllabus will be given tomorrow, and the deadline for this project will be written under the ‘AP History’ bulletin. You may get to work.”

I slumped out of my desk and started putting away my things that were on the table attachment. During this, I tried to think of what I was going to say when I went over to him. I almost decided on either trying to make a truce or just acting like he didn’t exist.

He was slouched in his desk, pencil in hand, avoiding eye contact with me. As I sat down my stuff on an empty desk near him, his words startled me. “So, 50/50?”

I just stared at him. For some reason, my brain could not process what Adam had just said. It took a solid four seconds for me to respond. “I don’t understand.”

Adam’s eyebrows rose while his eyes rolled, “Of course you don’t.”

I scoffed, “What, you’re just gonna say some numbers and you think I’m gonna understand what you’re trying to say?”

He was leaning forward in his desk now, “Well you seemed to be doing well in calculus, so, yes.” A small, mocking smile was now gracing his face.

I took in a deep breath to try and refrain from spewing whatever profanities came to mind. “Look, can we just set aside whatever this is so we can do this project?” He crossed his arms in response. “C’mon, I can’t afford to get a bad grade.” Still no response. If his goal was to ruin my life, he sure was on the right path.

“What do I get out of it?”

The audacity.

“I’m just saying. I’ll be fine with one bad grade, so what exactly is the payoff for tolerating...you?”

So there was a shiny glimmer of hope, but it would definitely come at a cost. “Anything. Anything you want. Just please, tolerate me.”

He brought a hand to his chin, acting like he was pondering his choice, “but will it really be anything?”

“Oh my god, you are so annoying.”

“Watch it.” His voice was stern.

“Okay, okay. Sorry. But yes, anything. You name it.”

Did he even know what he wanted? Or was he just trying to play this out? Either way, I’m about to have a conniption if we don’t start working on this project soon.

We sat in silence for what felt like forever. Of course, Adam had to change his thinking position almost every second, until he decided on what he wanted. “Okay, here’s the deal. I help you get your precious little A, and you have to get me a date with Charlie.”

#the mighty ducks #the mighty ducks imagine #the mighty ducks x reader #mighty ducks #mighty ducks imagine #mighty ducks x reader #adam banks #adam banks imagine #adam banks x reader

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ashintheairlikesnow · 3 years

Text

Misread Details, Part Two

CW: Described death of whumper, BBU, implications of pet whump, references to noncon, dehumanization, sadistic whumper

Part One: Nanda | Part Two: Brute | Part Three: Robert

The Unsolved Murder of Henry “Brute” Hanlon and the Box Boy Killer

r/LetsTalkTrueCrime

•Posted by u/oshaycanyousee

2 weeks ago

I’m back, r/LetsTalkTrueCrime! I really appreciated the questions and discussion under my last write-up, and a few of you really encouraged me to keep working to provide a part two to my Serial Killer Box Boy series, so here it is!

In Part One, we looked at the mysterious death of Nathaniel “Nanda” Benson, who died of cardiac arrest due to an undiagnosed heart defect (and likely head trauma played a part) and was found at the bottom of the stairs inside his California home. The only valuable possession missing from his property was his legally-purchased Box Boy, who fled the city wearing Nathaniel Benson’s shoes and using his money to buy a bus and then train ticket.

The last confirmed sighting of the runaway Box Boy (and Benson’s possible killer?) was in Red Hills, California, a large-ish city a couple hours south of Benson’s house by train.

Questions remain around Benson’s death: did he suffer cardiac arrest and fall down the stairs? Did the Box Boy push him, with the shock of the trauma and injury leading to the heart attack that killed him?

Is the Box Boy merely a witness to a tragic but natural death, or the prime murder suspect?

And most importantly: If he wasn’t guilty, why did he run?

Less than a full calendar year after Benson’s death, the question of where the Boxie went after Benson died was answered… but even that answer only opened up more questions, and the sudden death of a second man places even more uncertainty into the story of a Boxie who might simply be an innocent victim - or who could be a serial killer whose makes a victim out of those who give him shelter.

Which leads us to the story of Henry James Hanlon, known to nearly everyone - including his wife - as “Brute”.

Henry Hanlon was born in a small town in Texas, but moved to Red Hills, California after finishing a stint in the Air Force.

His parents, James Hanlon and Estella Hanlon, maiden name Brickers, had had their first child, Henry’s older brother William “Bill”, right out of high school, born six months after their wedding day. Henry came three years later, and his sister Roberta “Bobbie” one year after that.

Henry was a perfectly normal, cheerful little boy, always toddling after his older brother and trying to join in the games of the older kids in town. His parents recalled him as the quintessential “middle child”, always resolving disputes and quietly getting things done. He received his nickname of “Brute” in fifth grade, when a classroom bully was harassing a female friend of Henry’s and Henry decided to take action. The only information I could really hunt down on this was some old school records that I found on a message board, and I can’t really verify if they’re real, but they suggest that the bully was sent home injured and Henry received a three-day suspension.

After that, it seems, anyone and everyone - even teachers - called Henry Hanlon “Brute”, and he never seemed to mind.

He received perfectly average grades, enlisted in the Air Force, served without distinction but without any significant incidents, and afterwards he moved out to California, where he settled into Red Hills (then a city with a thriving industrial district that was slowly beginning its slide into something rougher) and took a job with a manufacturing company, working in their warehouse.

“Brute” dated around a bit, but it wasn’t until three years after his move that he met the woman he would marry, Ellen Patricia Barry. She was a few years younger than him, and they met at a local bar that both were known to frequent. One of Brute’s former coworkers told police that Brute was big into pool and poker, both of which he would engage in when he went to the bar, and that he met Ellen during one of the poker nights, and that Brute stated that how easily she beat him was one of the reasons he was interested in her romantically.

Ellen claims they first spoke while playing pool, not poker, and also claims she’s never played poker in her life. Why Brute would have told his coworkers a different story is unclear.

They dated for about a year before they wed at Grace Baptist Church on a sunny summer day in 20XX. Ellen’s father gave her away while Brute’s little sister was the maid of honor. A year later, Brute’s daughter Elizabeth was born, and a couple years after that, their son Daniel.

The Hanlons lived a charmed life - they owned a cute three-bedroom cottage home (bought and given to them by Ellen’s parents as a wedding gift) in a good part of town with a little white fence around the property and a yard big enough for the children and dog to play in. Ellen was part of the local PTA and active in her church, and Brute himself had the appearance of a man totally content with everything he had.

But Brute Hanlon had a secret.

Ellen continued to believe he was employed by the manufacturing company, but he actually left his employment there years before his death. Instead, he seems to have transitioned into making his money “under the table”. Ellen wouldn’t discover any of this until after his body was located… in a secret house he’d never told her about, in one of the roughest parts of Red Hills.

Without her knowledge, Brute purchased a two-bedroom home with cash directly from its previous owner that was badly in need of repair in the Pauls Mill neighborhood. Once a “company town” from the 1930’s - 1950’s that was absorbed into Red Hills as it grew in the 60’s, Pauls Mill today is the kind of neighborhood where everyone knows if you belong there, or don’t, and it’s best if you belong.

Brute performed a few very cursory repairs to keep it livable, laid down some new carpet, and then used it as a kind of secret base for the unsavory activities he didn’t want Ellen or the children to know about.

While his family believed he was at work at the factory, Hanlon was in fact hosting poker games, selling illicit narcotics and unlicensed firearms, and generally making quite a bit more money than he had with legal employment entirely under-the-table. He would spend his day making connections (and money) through these activities, then go home right at 5 pm sharp to his loving family, eat dinner at 6 pm, help his kids with their homework and hear about their day, and settle in for an evening playing the loving husband and doting dad.

Somewhere during this time period, Brute told Ellen he was setting up a “poker night” with his friends again, now that the kids were school-aged.

What he did instead was drive down to the corner of Holt and McCormick streets, known to all locals as the Red Hills “red light district”, and pick up prostitutes, usually simply meeting with them in his car, but occasionally taking them to a nearby motel.

After his body was found, police showed his picture around to a variety of the individuals who make their living at Holt and McCormick, and more than a dozen locals immediately recognized him.

Some described him as a regular customer who wasn’t particularly special or notable beyond the simple fact that he never tried to renege on payment and could be relied on to always be looking for someone on a particular night of the week… but others, almost entirely male, said he could be violent. A few described being injured enough that they had to seek medical treatment after meeting him. The same individuals stated that he insisted on using dehumanizing and insulting language to speak to them during these encounters, and that he was often unable to perform unless he did so.

One individual, who gave his name as “Mix”, mentioned that the last few times Brute had engaged his services, he had brought along a collar and insisted Mix pretend to be a Box Boy.

During this time period, Brute continued to be an active, involved, and loving parent.

He was home right on time every night except “poker night”, attended his chlidrens’ recitals and baseball games on the weekends. He often took them to the Red Hills Zoo, local parks, and even did a weekend trip to Berras to see the Berras Aquarium, stay overnight in a hotel as a family, and then visit a redwoods park before returning home.

Six months before his death, Brute’s visits to the red light district abruptly stopped. Instead, he apparently met with a local prostitute, engaged his services, and took him home… for good.

The best record we have is that one woman, Needie Brandt, remembered seeing Brute leading a shorter, angular young man to his car one night, and described the young man as “one of those runaway Boxies, collar and all. Poor thing was half-starved”.

Runaways, especially Romantics, are picked up by police from time to time in Red Hills. Most Romantics don’t really know any other way to survive, so prostitution is a common way to make ends meet. Needie said the young man had been seen around the area for a couple of weeks, right alongside the rest of the working people in the red light district, and that after this one night she saw Brute Hanlon lead him into the car, she didn’t see him again.

Asked if she remembered a name, Needie only shrugged and said that even if she did, it wouldn’t be a real one. Which is probably a good point.

Somewhere in here, Brute began to date outside of his marriage while his family believed he was out with friends playing poker. He took dancing lessons with one Susan Krieger, had a serious relationship with a Lucy Graham, and was apparently occasionally taking a Natalie Dorn out for dinner.

Ellen was never informed about these out-of-wedlock interests.

Brute’s family knew nothing. When his eldest son went to state with marching band his freshman year of high school, Brute Hanlon was right there cheering him on.

Then, just two days later, he presumably went right back to brutalizing the Box Boy he was keeping in his secret second home.

We don’t have a record of what exactly transpired within the house after Brute took the runaway Box Boy in. What we do know is what the police found later on.

On October 18th, 20XX, around midnight, Ellen Hanlon called police to report her husband missing after he did not return from his regular poker night. His car was located in the parking lot of an abandoned FoodMart, but a friend of Brute’s came forward to say he often parked there and carpooled with friends when going out.

None of Brute’s possessions were inside, and it didn’t appear the car had been touched by anyone but Brute himself when it was dusted for fingerprints or signs of DNA. Brute’s friends who knew about his secret activities weren’t telling, and Ellen and the children didn’t know anything about their seemingly loving husband and father’s double-life.

At first, the trail seemed like it would go cold, and investigators were frustrated that they had so little to go on.

Then, on October 29th, 20XX, Brute’s neighbor (who apparently asked that his name not be given) called the police department complaining about how the small two-bedroom house next door had begun to smell “like something died in there”, and that he hadn’t seen his neighbor leave or return in days, which was very unusual.

When police arrived, the front door was unlocked. Officer William Keys, the first one inside, later described the smell as “unmistakable. I knew exactly what we’d find the second we walked in that door.”

He was right.

What they found was the bloodied and decomposing body of Henry “Brute” Hanlon, lying on his back in the middle of a small unremarkable living room, on a dirty and stained carpet. He had been viciously stabbed more than fifty times. One even went so far into Brute that there was an exit wound through his back. Medical examiners would later state that at least seven of his wounds would have been directly fatal, but that he had died within the first few and most of the wounds were technically post-mortem.

The murder had been committed by someone who had a very personal reason for the killing. Investigators believe this individual was “absolutely enraged”.

Next to his body was the murder weapon, along with a set of buckles and strips of leather that mystified the officers. These were eventually identified as modified leg braces, but rather than straightening bent or injured legs, they forced the wearer to keep their legs at nearly right angles, which would ensure they had to crawl rather than walk. They appeared to be homemade.

Bloodied smears and footprints led the officers down a hallway and to the bathroom, where there was evidence someone had showered, changed clothes, and then left.

The same neighbor who informed police about the smell also remembered seeing, on October 16th or 17th (later determined that it was likely the 17th, the day that Brute did not return home from “work”), a young man wearing an oversized coat, sweatpants, and a too-large t-shirt walk out of Hanlon’s house and down the street. The young man was on the short side, the neighbor said, had an angular face, and a visible scar at the corner of his mouth and another along the side of his face. He had the collar of the coat flipped up, and the neighbor doesn’t recall if he wore a collar or not.

He had dark eyes, and short but shaggy dark hair that seemed to have been cut hurriedly and unevenly, and he waved at Hanlon’s neighbor without pausing or speaking as he walked past.

Tests on fingerprints and DNA located within Brute Hanlon’s secret second home would reveal that the Box Boy who once ran from Nathaniel Benson after his death was the exact same one who ran from Brute Hanlon after murdering him. The Boxie’s fingerprints were all over the murder weapon… and everywhere else, too.

Within Brute’s home, more knives were found, along with what looked like a badly-crafted homemade whip and some other supplies. A few of the things investigators found appeared to be essentially identical to what was found in Nathaniel Benson’s home. Other things were different (“animalization” was mentioned in some of the reports, but what I’ve been able to find is seriously vague for some reason).

Possibly related, a series of dog leashes purchased from a local pet-supply store were found throughout the home, but there was no evidence of an actual dog. In the home’s main bedroom was a perfectly normal queen-sized bed that was clearly Brute’s, with a small side table, a large dresser, and an attached bathroom.

There was absolutely nothing outwardly out of the ordinary, besides the room being very plain and impersonal. Makes sense, since Brute almost never slept there.

In the second bedroom, however, there was army-style cot with a thin blanket and sheet, three folded shirts on the floor, two sets of bloody metal handcuffs hanging off the cot’s frame at the top and bottom, and a bucket next to the bed. Two metal bowls, clearly of a style meant to be a dog’s food and water bowls, were next to the door. One still had water in it. The window was painted and nailed shut, and bars had been installed over the windows.

Investigators determined the bars were on the house when Brute Hanlon purchased it and had been installed by the previous owner. No reason for that installation was ever given.

Investigation revealed trace amounts of evidence of blood, but nothing much. However, the living room and dining area both showed poorly-cleaned bloodstains that were much older than Hanlon’s murder, including discolored patches on the walls.

A contract for a 24/7 “master/slave” style relationship was found in the top drawer of the dresser, signed ‘Pet’ at the bottom, and with Brute’s name alongside it. However, both signatures match Hanlon’s handwriting, and the Boxie is not believed to have actively signed it, as he would be illiterate at best. Plus, Box Boys are not legally allowed to enter into any contract, anyway, since they can’t understand obligations at that level, so even if he had signed it, it wouldn’t have been considered remotely valid.

I mean, not that those contracts are legal, but... you get my point.

Also located in that drawer were more than one hundred photographs showing the Boxie in a variety of compromising situations and positions. Several of these photos had Brute himself clearly visible in them, and a few had other individuals who have since been identified as Brute’s associates in his more illicit activities.

Interrogations of those associates led to more than seven further arrests for illegal gambling, the production and sale of illicit drugs, and illegal weapons sales. Those interrogations are also how we know about what Brute Hanlon was up to in-between Little League games and Girl Scout meetings.

Those associates claim that Brute kept a “secondhand Box Boy”, muzzled him so he couldn’t speak whenever guests were over, and that often ‘poker night’ simply turned into a game where the assorted guests and Brute himself repeatedly assaulted the Boxie. The associates claimed they thought the entire thing was consensual, but frankly… given the overwhelming evidence that the Boxie had to be kept restrained and was often seriously injured by these assaults... that’s doubtful.

Ellen and her children, who had previously been very visible and spoke often to local news stations about Henry’s disappearance, withdrew after his body was found and his second, secret life revealed - and have never given a single public statement or made a public appearance since.

Ellen moved her children out of Red Hills, moving back in with her own parents, briefly, in northern California. Where they went after that is unknown, but they appear to have left the state and Ellen may have changed her surname. Investigators are firm in their belief that Ellen knew nothing about her husband’s secret life.

I would give my right arm to know what his son and daughter think about it, and if they ever suspected what their devoted dad was up to when he wasn’t at home.

So, what happened to the Boxie after he left the house and disappeared down the block from the witness who saw him?

In short… no one knows for sure.

After murdering Brute Hanlon and cleaning off the evidence that must have been all over him, the Boxie simply fades away. He could have been anywhere, doing anything at all. There is a brief sighting of him on CCTV footage at the local bus station, where he is in line to buy a ticket… and then abruptly looks up, apparently noticing the camera and looking directly into it, then turns and walks quickly away.

The footage is grainy, but the Boxie does appear to be wearing his collar.

He isn’t seen in Red Hills again.

Instead, he reappears one more time before his final murder and disappearance… more than a year later, in a little town right along the border with Nevada.

Part 3 will go into how the investigation into the death of a quiet little oddball named Robert Weber reveals a basement full of skeletal bodies. But our Boxie isn’t the cause.

Instead, Robert Weber’s murder solves a series of related murders police had been stymied by for more than a decade, and a Box Boy who may have been meant to be Weber’s next victim instead turned accidental vigilante with a final killing of his own.

Or maybe I should say, his final killing so far.

@astrobly @finder-of-rings @burtlederp @whump-tr0pes @raigash @eatyourdamnpears @orchidscript @doveotions @pretty-face-breaker @boxboysandotherwhump @outofangband @whumptywhumpdump @whumpfigure @thehopelessopus @downriver914 @justabitofwhump @butwhatifyouwrite @newandfiguringitout @yet-another-heathen @nonsensical-whump @oops-its-whump @endless-whump @cubeswhump @gonna-feel-that-tomorrow @whumpiary

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legends-live-in-memories · 3 years

Text

Downtown Detour

ayo its ya boi back with more timari and ignoring my wips cuz im plagued with timari brainrot

written in the same au as:

Rooftop Rendezvous and

Alleyway Altercation (NSFW)

AO3 link to the series

Timari 2.2K words, no warnings other than references to intimate relations

Summary:

“Red Robin makes a breakthrough in his investigation of the new Gotham Rogue and goes to confront her about it.”

without further ado

Tim could not believe this. The new Rogue, Karma—Marinette Dupain-Cheng— had been spotted a total of three times since their last encounter by either his brothers or the cops and none have been able to subdue her for more than fleeting seconds. She was caught breaking into a politician’s house when the man was away on another one of his exotic hunting trips; another artefact was stolen from the museum after that, one they were unable to retrieve; and finally she was last seen escaping from Robin by the mayor’s office, only no one know what was taken from there. All three times she was spotted and nothing to show for it other than bruised egos and missing items.

During his little investigation into her supposed civilian name, he came across a series of interesting police reports from Paris, France of all places. A penchant for grand theft auto since her teenage years as well as a series of vandalism and reports of stolen student records from her high school at the time. There was even a rescinded expulsion, a litany of suspensions and a plethora of unexcused absences. She was a cookie cutter criminal in the making. But for Tim, it didn’t make sense. While all the evidence points to a child delinquent grown into an adult criminal, something about the situation set Tim’s teeth on edge. There was something missing. Something she wanted Tim to find out, if her giving him her name was anything to go by. But what?

She had no local address on file and the last piece of legal information that had any traceable location was a one-way ticket to Shanghai from four years ago. Immediately after her high school graduation. All her social media was deleted around the same time. She had effectively gone off the grid up until her emergence as a part of Gotham less than stellar night life. But why?

A closer look at her time in Paris led him to discover an interesting trend but it wasn’t anything concrete. Starting about when Karma—Marinette— was thirteen, her unexcused absences lined up with some of their infamous akuma attacks. While at first it could be argued that many children had unexcused absences in the beginning, and she had less than perfect attendance even before then, her disappearances also coincided with attacks far from her school which was where she should have been at those times. Then there were reports filed by police who spoke with her parents about her sneaking out at night which also lined up with notable akuma attacks. Either she was an overzealous fan of the city’s temporary heroes, or she was constantly in the thick of the action and kept it a secret from people close to her, letting her reputation suffer for it.

‘Trust me, I know all about acting in the name of the greater good. The good-girl act got tiring after a few years,’ she had said. ‘Much more rewarding to give into your own self-interests,’ she continued. ‘Something you could try emulating.’

Her words echoed in his mind. He never thought much of them before, his mind preoccupied with other things her mouth was doing that night. It could also be chalked up to everyone being the hero of their own story and she had just coloured her own experiences. But just maybe…

Before he could entertain that train of thinking, his phone alarm was alerting him of his scheduled patrol. Hopefully he could catch a hold of his current person of interest and get some more answers. And perhaps get a read on what her intentions are in this city. With him.

~~~~~~~~

The skyline was a welcoming sight as he flung himself from building to building. The wind beneath him carried him across the sky like an actual bird and the thrill of the freefall lit his nerves on fire. His route was quiet but his appearance should coax out a certain thief. Red Hood was investigating a weapons smuggling deal that was set to take place by the Gotham Harbour. Nightwing was back in Bludhaven with Signal, introducing him to nighttime patrol. Robin and Black Bat were tracking a drug deal that was rumoured to disrupt the balance of the Narrows. Spoiler was with Batman doing their regular routes and Batwoman was doing her own thing somewhere. Oracle, as always, was on standby on comms and monitoring everything. This was the perfect opportunity for Karma to strike so Red Robin just had to be patient. The night was young.

An hour into his sweep of the city and Oracle was patching him into a radio call about a break-in in some pawnshop back in the Fashion District. It wasn’t on his route tonight but Oracle figured that with their likely suspect, and his arrangement with her, he was their best shot at apprehending her. If only temporarily.

He arrived at the pawnshop without fanfare and found the storefront window broken into. Further inspection led him face to face with the object of his affection. Karma was posed calmly behind the cashier counter rifling through an assortment of jewelry that was left on display in the glass cases. It was only the faint twitch in her eyebrow that indicated her awareness of his presence. Other than that he went completely ignored. That won’t do. Not tonight. He approached her slowly and stopped on the other side of the counter, leaning into her space. He could faintly smell her rose-scented perfume. Her strawberry shampoo. Even the cherry lip gloss she wears under the mask. He’s tasted it enough times to know how strong it was. For a vision clad in black she was rather fond of red flavours.

“Can I help you, Tweety Bird?” her voice was soft, sprinkled with faux indifference, not wanting to disrupt the background noise of rings and necklaces clanking together. She hasn’t looked at him once.

“Breaking and entering and attempted theft are serious crimes, Karma.” He saw a faint twitch of amusement in her eyebrow but her posture was relaxed and non-assuming.

“That’s not why you’re here. That’s not why I’m here either.” Her eyes sweep up to him as she stops searching the jewelry. She’s staring intently at him as if he’s to understand the meaning behind the words she’s not saying. He does. They’ve played this back and forth before. Danced their little tango of push and pull.

“You wanted to see me then? Thought this was the best way to get my attention, hmm?” He leaned in, pressing his weight more into the counter. She matched his advance and propped her face in the palm of her hand. Her finger tapped on her mask. He figured if the accessory wasn’t there she’d be biting that finger instead.

“Well it worked. Didn’t it? You’re here after plenty of time to conduct a rather thorough investigation into who I am. Or was.” She took off the mask, finally, and he was right. Her lips were shining in the dim light of the night with the familiar hues of her lip gloss. He presses on to not let himself get distracted by the slight smile on her face.

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng, daughter of Tom Dupain and Sabine Cheng. Paris, born and raised. Above average student in terms of grades but a disciplinary streak about a hundred miles wide.” At this her head tilts in amusement. Her faint nod encourages him to divulge all the aspects of his research. “Absences and tardies more often than any recorded presences. About twelve suspensions in the span of three years and a rescinded expulsion when you were about fourteen. A couple run-ins with the police in regards to charges of theft and property destruction.” Her face scrunched in an adorable pout at that as if it were a reminder of an embarrassing moment and not outlines of criminal offenses.

“Definitely not my finer moments, I assure, but keep going. You’re doing so well,” she interrupted him. She had shifted so that she could jump over the counter and sit atop it, her legs crossed and her arms bearing her weight behind her. Red Robin was temporarily silenced by the arch in her back and the lean lines of her exposed neck. He rose to his full height; just barely reaching her shoulder, due to her new vantage point.

“You disappeared after your high school graduation, my investigation says you ran off to Shanghai but I believe there’s more to it than that.” She had uncrossed her legs to accommodate him between them and drew him closer by his shoulders. Acting on instinct, his arms found purchase on her waist and he was brushing the pad of his gloved thumb across the exposed skin. It was uncharacteristically soft but neither heeded mind to it.

“You think there’s more to me than that?” She leans in, almost breathing the same air as him. “You’d be the first,” she continued while snaking a hand up his neck to scratch lightly at his scalp. The touch sent shivers down his spine and had his toes curling in anticipation.

“So tell me then,” he licked his lips and stared at her through the film of his mask. “What is Paris’s Lady Luck doing here causing mischief in Gotham?” The question was a gamble and could upset the rapport he had with Karma. He was the team’s only lead on her, for better or worse, and he didn’t want to ruin whatever it was between them.

It was probably the right thing to say though, because she hasn’t left him yet but instead was staring at him with something indescribable in her eyes. Excitement? Approval? Affection? Red Robin wasn’t sure what to make of the glimmer of emotion in her eyes other than to take it as a good sign.

“You got this far in your investigation, Tweety Bird,” she leaned in closer, just a hair’s width away. “Why ruin the chase and tell you everything now?” Her lips were brushing against his as she spoke and the cherry flavour was almost distracting. His tongue peaked out to swipe a stronger taste. The arms around her waist tightened and he pulled her to the edge of the counter, her legs wrapping around him on instinct.

“Surely you could reward me for figuring out this much, right?” His voice was pitched so low if she wasn’t already breathing in his words he would have worried that she didn’t hear him. “After all, it’s not everyday someone discovers the identity of the allusive Ladybug.”

“The bird wants a reward, does he?” She finally sealed his lips with hers, stealing any half-baked retort he might have had. This kiss was different from the multitude they’ve exchanged in their times together, carrying over the unanswered emotions from their last encounter and introducing new ones into the mix. The air felt still and cool on his face and the fingers in his hair tightened even further.

They were like that for what felt like hours but was merely a few minutes; just calmly exchanging kisses, nothing straying beyond that silently defined line. They didn’t need anymore for tonight. Karma had taken to progress this further by trailing her lips to the sharp cut of his jaw. She alternated between small kisses and even smaller bites as she made her way up to his ear. Her breath was warm against the shell of his ear and he leaned into the faint contact. A lick and a bite later, her lips were curled up into a smirk as her hand in his hair held him in place.

They stayed like that for moments lost to time. Neither making the next move, nerves buzzing with anticipation. He felt an itch for more that only she could scratch and she was denying him that satisfaction. Despite that he made no inclination to instigate more, letting the ball stay in her court. After more silent minutes he felt rather than heard her chuckle against his ear. She jumped off the counter, pressing every curve of her body against his. Even then, he unconsciously tried to pull her closer, pressing her against his front and the tempered glass of the counter. Before he could do as he pleased with his new leverage, she wiggled out of his grasp and moved towards the broken storefront window, mask in hand.

“It was great to see you tonight,” she throws a glance over her shoulder, readjusting the mask over the lower half of her face. “And I’m glad my assumptions of you were right.”

“What assumptions? What do you mean?” The confusion was almost palpable beneath the traces of cherries. He moved to reach for her, to keep her here for a bit longer. To explain herself. To not leave him. She evaded his grasp and leapt out the broken window. From outside the building she turned to him and aimed what was clearly Red Robin’s grappling hook out to the nearest building.

Instead of answering him she chuckled and tilted her head in amusement at his growing distress.

“See you around, Tim.” Her parting words were lost to the air as she shot off with the grapple into the night. Red Robin stood frozen, rooted in place at the use of his civilian name. How did she know? Who exactly did he decide to get entangled with? Among the cacophony of new questions one thing was for certain.

He was utterly fucked.

#maribat #timari #timinette #ml x dc #this is tame to others in this little mini series #tumblr dont fucking try me #surprisingly NOT hornknee hours #i know i surprised myself with this one too

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genshin-impact-writings · 3 years

Note

Request for your special event-

Character: Albedo

prompt: 'I love you, my little prince"

Song: Once upon a dream: Lana Del Rey

If it is possible, Can the reader be the one to say the prompt and is a fatui harbinger [or someone that the knights are just wary off] ?? (I am a sucker for forbidden love but the reader is just "screw u, Imma date them anyways) I apologize if this is too specific.

Thank You in advance and Congrats on your milestone!! <3

First of all, thank you very much for your request. I love this song and Albedo, so it really was the perfect combination. Also, this turned out a lot longer than I originally planned, and I really hope you like what I came up with. Have a good day/night and take care! <3

Once upon a dream – Albedo x gn!Fatui!reader

I know you, I’ve walked with you once upon a dream

I know you, the look in your eyes is so familiar a gleam

And I know it’s true that visions are seldom all they seem

But if I know you, I know what you’ll do

You’ll love me at once, the way you did once upon a dream

Mondstadt was beautiful at night. Although most of the shops were already closed, the streets were still filled with people, sitting in front of the taverns where they enjoyed a few drinks and the balmy breeze that blew gently through the alleyways. Everything was peaceful and somehow quite idyllic, and you stopped in your track to take in all the impressions that rained down on you.

In your life, you had barely experienced moments like this. As a member of the Fatui, you were always on the road, traveling wherever your Archon sent you and fulfilling every mission she gave you. It was a restless life, dangerous too, but you had never been one to complain, especially since you had always dreamed about exploring Teyvat, seeing other cities and meeting new people along the way. Without the Fatui, you probably would still be stuck in Snezhnaya where you would be doing the same things every day, always wondering if this was all life had in store for you.

Needless to say that you still felt incredibly honored that the Tsaritsa had chosen you, alongside with a few other Fatui Diplomats, to accompany Signora, one of the Eleven Harbingers, on her trip to Mondstadt. So far, the trip had been everything but fun, every day filled with work and duties, including spying on the Knights of Favonius that were understandably weary of every Fatui who set foot in their city. Most of them kept their eyes on you twenty-four-seven.

Even now, during your rare free time, you could feel the guards watching you as you made your way back to the market district. A couple of people were standing outside of Cat’s Tail, laughing and joking around, just like they usually did. By now, you recognized most of them since you came by here every day. It was one of the few spots in Mondstadt where nobody payed attention to you because they were too busy with minding their own business to wonder about a Fatui Diplomat passing by, eyeing them curiously before walking on.

Your destination was the upper square, the one with the pretty fountain, right in front of Good Hunter. You had enjoyed a few meals there over the past few days (people where rightfully proud of the restaurant) but at this late hour, the shop was already closed, promotional signs neatly stored away.

You sat down on one of the benches near the fountain and crossed your legs as you let your eyes wander. During the day, this square was a popular meeting spot but now, there were only a few people here. The perfect opportunity to see him again.

During the few meetings with the Knights of Favonius you had attended, he had stayed in the background, only speaking when someone addressed him directly and even then, his answers had been quite brief. It hadn’t taken you long to figure out that he preferred to keep to himself, hence why he almost exclusively came here long after dark to inspect the Crafting Bench for any damages and to have a quick conversation with Timaeus, the alchemist who supervised the Crafting Bench throughout the day.

Usually, you kept your distance, admiring him from afar, but today, you had promised yourself to finally introduce yourself to him. Not only because it was rude to stare at someone you barely knew but also because a considerable part of you really wanted to find out who the Chief Alchemist truly was.

You didn’t have to wait long. Propping up your head on your hand, you watched him as he talked to Timaeus. His bright teal eyes almost seemed to glow in the warm light of the street lamps, and you couldn’t help but smile at the sight. It really should be illegal to be that pretty.

About twenty minutes later, Timaeus made his farewells to the Chief Alchemist, leaving him with a bunch of notes. It took you a brief moment to realize that this was the moment you had waited for but then, you jumped to your feet and took a deep breath before walking over to him.

“Excuse me,” you said, your heart starting to beat frantically as he looked at you, a slightly confused expression on his face. “Yes?”

“I’m sorry to bother you,” you continued and cleared your throat when you realized how squeaky your voice was sounding. “But I think you might have dropped this.”

You put out your hand, showing him the tiny gemstone you had bought at With wind comes glory a few hours ago. The stone’s color perfectly matched his eyes, the same bright teal that you saw in your dreams sometimes. You were absolutely sure that nobody else on this earth had eyes so pretty that you even thought about them in your sleep.

“No, I’m afraid you’re mistaken,” he replied softly, snapping you out of your thoughts. “It’s not mine.”

“Oh,” you mumbled. Well, that didn’t go as planned, you thought and let out a quiet sigh. So, what else could you say to him?

Usually, you had a quick tongue and always managed to figure out a topic to talk about but right now, you felt like every statement that came to your mind was either incredibly stupid or completely irrelevant. Think, you urged yourself, think!

But he had already lost interest in you. His attention was back on the clipboard Timaeus had handed him earlier, his brows slightly furrowed as he studied the notes from his assistant.

“So, um- can I perhaps ask you a few things about alchemy?” you asked when the silence between the two of you got uncomfortable. He didn’t look up from his notes but at least, he nodded which you took as a good sign.

“I mean, not now,” you added, painfully aware that you didn’t even know enough about alchemy to ask him a simple question. It definitely would have been better to prepare for this conversation but now it was too late to turn back. “I just – I wanted to make sure that you’re okay with helping me before I deluge you with my questions.”

Finally, he looked up, his gaze meeting yours for a brief second. “Ah, it’s you. I saw you at the meetings. You’re one of the Fatui Diplomats,” he said but unlike others, he didn’t seem to judge you. He simply stated a fact, nothing more. If anything, he sounded a bit curious.

“My name’s (Y/N),” you replied, in an almost desperate attempt to keep the conversation going because a part of you really didn’t want him to leave. When you saw the small smile that flashed over his face, you felt like your heart stopped for a second.

“I’m Albedo.”

But if I know you, I know what you’ll do

You’ll love me at once, the way you did

Once upon a dream.

That’s when it all had started. Whenever you weren’t busy with your mission or other tasks Signora assigned you to, you spent every minute with Albedo, listening to his musings about alchemy and the secrets of the world he desperately wanted to disclose. You didn’t understand half of the things he was talking about but you didn’t mind. It was enough for you to just listen to him, watching how his eyes lit up whenever he made progress in his research, and every time he sheepishly thanked you for keeping him company, you found yourself falling for him a bit more.

Of course, you knew right from the beginning that it was stupid to develop feelings for him, given the fact that you had to leave Mondstadt at some point to return back to Snezhnaya – but there was nothing you could do to stop it. Everything about Albedo was adorable. He was a gentle soul, curious and kind and so beautiful that it still took your breath away every time you look at him. And you wanted to be with him, against all reason. There was just something about him that seemed so familiar, so wonderfully familiar that you simply didn’t have the power to resist him.

And before you had even fully realized what was happening, you were already head over heels in love with him.

You didn’t tell him, at first. After all, he was still the Chief Alchemist of the Knights of Favionius and you were still a member of the Fatui, someone the knights didn’t trust at all, and you didn’t want to spoil the precious time you could spend together.

But eventually, you didn’t want to keep it a secret any longer. You wanted him to know how much he really meant to you. It had been an awkward confession, your face hot from embarrassment when he didn’t respond immediately but as soon as he softly asked if it would be alright to kiss you, you fell in love with him all over again.

I know you, I’ve walked with you once upon a dream

I know you, the look in your eyes is so familiar a gleam

And I know it’s true that visions are seldom all they seem

But, just as all good things, your relationship with Albedo came to an end about three months later when new orders from Snezhnaya arrived, recalling you and the other remaining Fatui Diplomats back to your home country immediately. Signora and the vast majority of her team had already left Mondstadt quite a while ago, and it would be a lie if you said that it hadn’t raised your hopes up that you were allowed to stay for a little longer.

Now, all your hopes were shattered to pieces. You could feel tears burning in your eyes as you stared down at the letter in your hand, reading the orders over and over again as you tried to understand that it was really over this time. There was no way you could convince your superior or even the Tsaritsa to prolong your deployment in Mondstadt.

How were you supposed to tell Albedo about this? How were you supposed to say Goodbye to him?

You should have stayed away from him right from the start. Then, you would have been the only one who got his heart broken by your new orders but no, you had decided to drag Albedo into this mess, and now you were forced to leave him.

You buried your face in your hands. This was slowly becoming just one big nightmare, one that threatened the wonderful, silly dream you had about your future. A future you wanted to share with Albedo. But of course, you couldn’t, not as long as you were a Fatui. And you couldn’t leave them either because you had sworn an oath to the Tsaritsa; you had sworn to be true to her and Snezhnaya, no matter what happened, and to break this oath had never been an option for you. Heck, you probably wouldn’t even survive betraying your Archon like that, let alone get the happy ending you wished for.

So, no matter how you put it, you had no other choice than to return to Snezhnaya.

You couldn’t sleep, contrary to Albedo who was sound asleep next to you, all snuggled up to you and completely unaware of the emotional rollercoaster you had been experiencing for the past few days. You had waited for the perfect moment to tell him that you had to leave but of course, it never came. There simply was no perfect moment to tell the person you loved that you couldn’t stay with them any longer, that you had no idea when you’d be able to see each other again. If you would ever see each other again.

And with that in mind, you had decided that it was for the best to just leave. Albedo would be heartbroken, yes, but he would be angry, too. And maybe that anger would be enough to make him move on from you. But for now, you wanted to enjoy the time the two of you had still left. The Fatui delegation would leave Mondstadt in the early morning, as agreed with the Acting Grandmaster, so you still had another two, maybe three hours you could spend by Albedo’s side.

You turned your head to press a soft kiss to Albedo’s cheek. He mumbled something in his sleep, and when you heard your name, your heart dropped. He was dreaming about you.

He was dreaming about you and you were about to leave him without even saying Goodbye.

Dawn came and with it the moment you had feared for the past few days. But you had made your decision, and it was too late to change your mind.

Carefully, you tried to pull away from Albedo who was still clinging to you, his arm wrapped tightly around your waist, almost as if he had sensed that this would be the last night you would spend together. You felt terrible as you pushed his arm aside, freeing yourself from his hug, although every part of you screamed to stay here with him.

But you had to leave. And until now, everything went just as you had planned.

Until you accidentally knocked the small lamp on the bedside table over when you gathered the few belongings you hadn’t packed up yet.

Albedo stirred awake, his eyes fluttering open, confusion clouding his eyes.

“(Y/N)?” he asked, his voice still heavy with sleep. “Where are you going?”

You bit your bottom lip, trying to fight back the urge to tell him the truth, and leaned back down to brush a strand of hair from his forehead. “Nowhere,” you reassured him softly. “You’re just dreaming, my love. Go back to sleep.”

Your fingertips caressed his skin, gently tracing the outlines of his face as you watched him slowly drifting off to sleep again.

“I love you, my little prince,” you whispered and pressed a soft kiss to his lips one last time before you turned away and quietly left the room. Please forgive me.

The walk to the town gate gave you enough time to regain your composure. By the time you joined the others, you had carefully locked away your emotions, putting on that blank expression that didn’t show how much it hurt you to leave this city.

Lyudmila, one of the other Diplomats, gave you a brief smile. “Looks like we’re all here,” she said. “Let’s go home. We’ve spent way too much time here already.”

You nodded, although you couldn’t help but flinch at the word home. Snezhnaya would never be your home again, not when Albedo couldn’t be there with you.

Maybe one day, you thought to yourself and granted yourself one more look at Mondstadt and the town walls that almost seemed to glow in the warm light of the rising sun, we will meet again.

But if I know you, I know what you'll do You'll love me at once, the way you did once upon a dream.

#albedo x reader #albedo genshin x reader #albedo genshin imagine #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact imagine #gn!reader #gender neutral reader #reader insert #15 days of songfics #genshin impact angst

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pixiedoodlein · 3 years

Text

10 days until school and I’m no more decided than I was a week ago. I flip flop ten times day about what might be best. A is sick of hearing me talk about it. He doesn’t disagree with my risk assessment but he is sick of talking about it.

It caused an issue with his friend, a friend who is his best friend and is unvaccinated and works in a jail. Months ago we told friend he could only visit (this place is their boyhood dream) once he’s vaccinated. Friend typically believes in science and is very health conscious but his gf is a moron Trump lover and her family the same and that’s who he’s been spending all his time with since this all started. When I asked friend why he’s not vaccinated he said he’s young & healthy, didn’t trust the vaccines, would do it when they got full fda approval. Plenty of young healthy people are dead of this. Anyway then I asked ok so what if you give it to someone who isn’t and dies, people incarcerated in the jail he works in and don’t have the luxury of social distancing, and he was like eh whatever. So yes friend is an asshole, but his best friend for decades, friend has always been kind of an asshole but has many redeeming qualities too. So we said no visit. But then in July when there was no covid here and no covid where he lives and we were blissfully living our covid free lives we loosened up and said he could visit with two negative tests. But then covid got bad again and when asshole friend contacted A the other day to say he took time off in late Sept to visit, A said sorry, it’s fully fda approved now you have no excuses not to vaccinate, we’re worried about our unvaccinated kids, and as of now you can’t visit but hey maybe if you get vaccinated and the numbers look better we can reassess in a month and you can come. Friend was a total dick about it, didn’t understand our point of view at all, stressed A about it, who was in a bad mood about it for days afterward.

Then there’s the neighbors. I had a chat with the kids and a chat with the mom. I framed it as we love them so much and I know they’re careful but I think we should all be more careful while the numbers are so rising (aka only outdoor hangouts) and we are careful but I’ve heard terrifying stories from doctor friends about kids and babies getting very sick, and they have a baby who I don’t want us to make sick, and she said she agreed. The kids have been pretty good about making the adjustment from constant sleepovers to playing outside but M keeps asking me “the kids need to pee are they allowed to use the bathroom, the kids are hungry are they allowed to come inside even for one minute for a snack,” and I feel like the villain (I’ve been saying yes to pee, snacks I’ll bring out). Everyone’s been understanding but nobody is getting what I mean when I say only outdoor socializing. All the kids keep asking me when I’ll take them to town again for ice cream, “but it’s outside” (um yeah but the car’s not), asking their mom to ask me for sleepovers even though they know what the answer will be. The other day they were playing in our yard then it started raining and they were like “we can’t walk home in the rain”- I don’t want them to walk home in the rain, but again the car is indoors!- so I drove them home (but made M stay at our house). They’re not my kids so I can’t make them wear masks and it feels like now I am in the position of being the mean parent who’s psycho about covid, which in a way I am, but it would help me to stick to my guns and feel okay about sticking to them if the government policies matched the severity of the situation, ie mask mandates in public places (instead of stores posting polite recommendations), vaccine mandates, virtual learning options, etc.

Which brings me to school. After selling M hard on real school, then I sold her hard on home school. She already “did” 3rd grade last year (as much as me teaching her in my pajamas counts as doing), but this district has an earlier cut off than the city, so she’s in 3rd grade again here. Which is fine by me- her birthday is the same day as the very late nyc cut off (12/31) and I hated that she was the absolute youngest. I used to beg the school to hold her back and they’d say “but why she’s doing so well!” not understanding that I was thinking ahead to the teen years. But anyway, despite her haphazard pj’d professor, she seemed to learn a lot last year so homeschool this year could basically be unschool. She’d traipse around the forest identifying birds and trees with A and her brother, reading for pleasure, and I’d spend an hour here and there reviewing some worksheets with her so she’d be on track when she starts real school after she gets vaccinated. She was into the idea, until she found out she and one of the neighbor kids are in the same class. Now she absolutely wants to go to real school, AND ride the school bus. The school bus part makes me very nervous. While there is now a school mask mandate (but will it be enforced? what are their lunch procedures, what % of teachers are vaccinated, what % of the older kids in the same building as the little kids are vaccinated, did they actually really update their ventilation system?) and a bus mask rule, it’s a long rural route (15 min drive or 45 min bus) and I have no faith that bus windows will be open and all riders will be masked the whole time.

So just tell her she can go to school but has to be driven by a parent, right? Not so simple. I was offered a job at a (somewhat, commuting distance) nearby nonprofit- an easy low stress job in a bastion of liberalism with very very nice smart coworkers, excellent work life balance, a writing job that sounds made for me, like the job description is exactly what I would put together if I were putting together my dream job (except the pay, which is half what I was making at a fancy DC nonprofit, but high for this area, and our housing cost is half so it should be fine if A can get away from little guy long enough to bring in some money too). It’s mostly remote but approx one day a week in the office and some days there will be things I need to attend out in the community (not necessarily our community, they serve the whole region). It won’t always be the same day in the office and the office is an hour away- so on those days A would have no car to get her to and from school, since I’d need to leave before school starts and get home after it’s done. So I guess we need to buy a new car? Aside from this issue we really don’t need a second car now, were planning to get one eventually, but not until A’s business has enough projects to justify the cost.

Despite its many demands/challenges/ stressors, home school is sounding easier to me at this point (especially because she already did this grade), except she WANTS to go to school. Someone talk me out of putting some lipstick and a pantsuit on her and taking her to get vaccinated. I know, I know: the 5-11 dosage is 1/3 of the 12-adult dosage. The doctors I’ve spoken to are split on this hypothetical kamikaze mission. The doctors I’ve spoken to are also split on me and A going to a pharmacy now for booster. It’s been almost 6 months since our 2nd dose. We do not have compromised immune systems. This county has way more doses than demand and I would feel better sending M to school (bus or not) if we had our boosters and she had a first dose- moral and scientific quandaries aside- because there is A LOT of covid here now, a lot of covid everywhere now, and I feel like we are returning to regular life at the time when we should be most hunkered down.

Which brings me to the data. Per capita there are as many known cases here as in nyc, except nyc has a 50% higher vax rate, much more mask usage, better medical system. People are not getting enough tests here, there is a higher positivity rate, and so I think the actual number of cases is much higher than the reported number of cases. It seems like, friends here and in the city and in the suburbs (I just broke up with a friend in the suburbs because she professes to be a good democrat but is hosting a bonafide super spreader event and vacationing in a place with 39% positivity and a collapsed health care system), are thinking of covid as something you catch from strangers- they wear masks in stores- but aren’t careful at all around close friends and family (so many extended family gatherings, so many, cousins and grandparents and half-siblings and aunts and uncles and whoever), when this is a disease that kills via the people you love most, the ones who’d never intentionally hurt you.

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silversatin2105 · 3 years

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Shaman king Fan fic : A Case of mistaken Identity

This fic has two ends to read to the bottom, This covers a scenario between a Fem- Reader deciding their future list of characters featured below.

Yoh Asakura

Hao Asakura

Anna Kyoyama / Asakura

Fem- Reader

Now with that out of the way enjoy the fic

Main scenario: The ribbon of Destiny

You had been friends with Yoh for four months, Ever since you met him on monument hill one fateful night as you were there to attend to the grave of one of your ancestors, It would have been a brief conversation until you said “By the way can you see that samurai” with those words Yoh’s interest was peeked, For the rest of the night Yoh and you talked He explained that he was a shaman and the samurai explained that he was Amidamaru who had became Yoh’s spirit ally when their goals aligned.

You agreed to meet with Yoh on a nightly basis and so you did, It was a month into these evening meet ups that you noticed you were beginning to have feelings for him however you knew about Anna and she knew about you, Anna did not like these meet ups I mean she really didn’t like them as she punished Yoh for meeting up with you like that, Even though he assured her that it wasn’t like that.

Everything came to a head the night after the comet of destiny appeared, Anna caught you confessing your feelings to Manta, The next thing you felt was the sharp sting of a hand across your cheek and the harsh words that were spoken “I forbid you from seeing Yoh ever again, I will let you go with just this but if you show your face here again I will make sure you suffer in your afterlife”

With these harsh words you broke into tears, Nothing could console you and you knew this would be the only outcome for not dampening these feelings, you KNEW that Yoh and Anna were meant to be but stupidly you held up hope that he would reciprocate those feelings, After that you dropped out of the school you all attended and started attending a school in your district, Any spirits you made friends with in your brief moments in Yoh’s life you ignored and for the most part you returned to the world you came from.

Half a month had passed since you had saw Yoh and you were back to your old life, You studied in your free time for your finals and you focused yourself on getting into a good college as you went back to your primary goal of getting a degree in (Insert what you want to do here), It was late as you left cram school and you knew it was your turn to pick up ingredients for the evening meal as you left the store with meat and rice for the dinner you spot a familiar face, It couldn’t be, Yoh ?

Without a moments thought you ran towards the familiar figure “Yoh, are you alright?, Its been awhi” your words were cut short as you dawned on your mistake, The person in front of you did indeed look like your one time crush but he was different, You could not see warmth in his face and as you looked into his face you noticed a deep sadness, Your thoughts trailed on as you had noticed you hadn’t spoke since the hick up you only snapped back when the figure in front of you began to speak.

“Hello miss you seem to have spaced out there, Are you okay?” He enquired as you stepped back from him; you collected your self and did a bow of apology.

“I’m sorry you look a lot like someone I used to know” You managed to speak out, your face turning red as you hid in the folds of your scarf, Something must have amused the familiar stranger as he burst into a mocking laugh, He gripped his sides as he continued to laugh.

“Wow the people in this country really are polite” He remarked whilst regaining his composure, Soon after he stopped laughing he introduced himself as Hao, The future king , this statement you found strange but you put it to the back of your mind as one of his eccentricities.

He asked you to meet him tomorrow night at the same time to which you agreed with caution, You made your way home to which you were scolded for being back late after your apologies and a bath you went to bed with so many questions on your mind.

Throughout the next day you couldn’t focus at school, Were you actually going to meet up with that Hao guy or were you going to go straight home and forget your encounter with him, Every hour that passed you flitted between your going and your not going with one final decision and out of actual curiosity you agreed to meet up with Hao.

Walking thought the darkening streets you found your way back to where just a day ago you met Hao, He waited there for you and offered you a sat by him, After a brief conversation in which you asked him the important questions of why he asked to meet you and what was his intentions he stood up and brushed himself off.

“If you want to know, Walk with me” Hao spoke out whilst walking away from you as you stood to follow and within no time the streets turned into woodland, If you weren’t curious about what he had to offer, This would be the part where you would book it and go home but still your curiosity still had a hold on you.

After walking for what felt like an hour you both came to a clearing that was far from town, Hao stopped walking and turned to face you with an eyebrow raised as he crossed his arms and sat on the floor.

“Before I tell you what I have to say I must find out if I can trust you, What are your intentions with the one called Yoh” He questioned in a tone that you knew if you answered with anything less that the truth would lead to dire consequences.

“I bare Yoh no ill will, I used to have feelings for him but I knew that it was stupid to, we have not spoke since his fiancé told me to back off, I went back to my life and that’s, that” you answered looking Hao dead in the eye, Your heart pounding in fear of what could happen, Its true that he looked like Yoh but you could sense he was a different kind of person, With Yoh you knew he’d never hurt you but with this person you were sure he’d kill you if you put a toe out of line.

“I see, So you have no ties to him at this moment in time” He asked.

“No like I said I have not seen him since Anna scolded me” You replied.

Hao then stood up and paced around looking deep in thought “Usually id kill any outsider that would be threat to my plans, But I find you interesting so ill let you live, Spirit of fire, this girl isn’t to be touched” you wondered what he meant with that, You were about to enquire when before you appeared to be a red demon cloaked in flames offering its hand to Hao.

“Now if you wish to know more, Meet me here tomorrow night If not go back to your life and I assure you we will not meet again” Hao remarked before disappearing from your sight, You found your way back to town and went home to mull things over.

I could not decide on what the reader would decide so to end the argument I will dedicate a page each to 2 sub scenarios 1 in which the reader doesn’t follow Hao and 1 where she does and you can decide which 1 you like the best

Scenario diverge: Plume of white Daisies.

(This scenario covers the reader’s choice in remaining at home and the results of this action)

There was no way you could go with him, Hao may have spared your life but that did not mean you owed him anything, You owed it to yourself to put this whole incident behind you and be content that for a brief time in your life you were a minor character in something important.

The next day at school all who knew you were shocked out of speaking, You walked into class and took your seat as one of your classmates broke the silence.

“why did you cut your hair? (insert name),I thought you were growing it” they asked as you looked at them with a warm smile and replied whilst opening your text book.

“I Just fancied a change of pace”

Years passed and the brief time you spent as part of the shaman world had faded from your mind, You were now an adult and now worked in the field of your dreams and were engaged to your S/O who you met whilst studying for your (insert field) Degree, You no longer lived in your hometown as you had to go where the work was however you returned every summer and winter for a week.

During one of your returns to your hometown you decided to visit the grave of your ancestor, not much had changed since your last visit there other than the fact that the grave looked to be attended to frequently and that Daises had began to grow upon the grave.

As you left the old graveyard, You spot a familiar face in the distance approaching a group of people, You came to recognise the tallest one as your long lost school crush and the other as you presumed right now wife, A little boy clings to the legs of his mother.

With a slight nod to them both you make your way back to your parents home, Petals of daises fill the air as you walk towards the future.

End Scene

Scenario Diverge: Scent of hibiscus

(this covers the readers choice to follow Hao and the results of this action)

The morning after you were given the ultimatum from Hao, whether to remain in your world or follow him into the dangerous world of shamans and spirit fight, your mind was made up, You would follow Hao and learn what you could of the world he lives in.

It was early morning as you checked downstairs to make sure the house was empty, It was as your parents had left for work, You began packing a bag of the things you thought you would need and you wrote letters to your loved ones explaining that you were okay and that you didn’t want to be found.

When night approached you stood where Hao told you to meet him, you held you packed bag on one shoulder as you paced waiting for him hoping it wasn’t a trick, hoping that you didn’t need to go home and awkwardly say that your letters were a prank.

“Ahh you showed up, Right choice” You heard a familiar voice say as you turned to face Hao.

“Yes I did now show me what’s to be done”

You spoke out before you both disappeared into the night.

Years had started to pass, In that time you had trained under the watch of Hao and had become his Itako, You both travelled from place to place brining spirits (usually by force) to his side, You did go home from time to time al though meet ups with your family usually ended in arguments, Your parents accused Hao of derailing your path to success and that you could have been more than you are right now.

You didn’t care, You never regretted your actions not even when Yoh looked at you with suspicion when he saw you at the tournament nor when Anna accosted you intending to tell you the truth, The shock on her face was priceless when you told her you knew and didn’t care.

one night whilst sitting down for a cup of tea, you and Hao spoke of the past and the night you both met, he joked of your embarrassment before giving you a bouquet of aromatic hibiscus that to your shock had a ruby ring on one stem, that moment he got down on his knee and smirked.

“Well will you be my queen?”

“You need not ask my king”

End Scene

#shaman king #asakura hao #asakura yoh #yoh asakura #hao asakura #anna kyoyama #anna asakura #reader x character #fan fic #writers gonna write

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ruzek-halstead · 3 years

Text

sparks fly

written for @fromiftowhen to celebrate chicago pd secret santa 💛

pairing: jay halstead x hailey upton

prompt: fake dating, i don't care how or why... just make them fake date for whatever reason. obviously, it should turn into real dating.

masterlist

special shoutout to @haileyyanneupton for coming up with the fic idea, collaborating and editing (and also talking me down when i was hella stressed i wasn't going to finish this on time). i appreciate you more than you know!! 💛

i hope i did this prompt and fic justice. i was very intimidated when i first got this because you are such a good writer!!! so i hope this is okay, please enjoy!!

💛

Hailey hadn't gone to many weddings in her life. It wasn't entirely surprising, given her childhood. Her mother would have to furiously cover up her bruises, as would her brothers. Then there was the chance of her father exhibiting questionable behaviour in public after he'd hit the open bar, and they couldn't have that. So, instead, the Upton family always marked the 'politely decline' option and sent the RSVP with a cheque instead. But now that Hailey was an adult and old enough to have friends who were getting married, weddings were becoming the new normal. The months of May to September are the classic wedding months, and Hailey knew that better than ever. She had attended three weddings within the past few months and truth be told, she was exhausted of attending them solo. She thought about finding a date, but it honestly seemed more trouble than it was worth. However, this time, things were slightly different. Her childhood friend, Raquel Sousa, was getting married this weekend. Hailey and Raquel had grown up on the same street, gone to all the same schools, and even attended the academy together. When they were assigned to different precincts, they hastily grew apart, and when Hailey went undercover, they weren't able to contact each other for months on end. They tried to keep in touch with random little messages every once in a while to alert the other that they were thinking about them, but it wasn't the same. But when Hailey received Raquel's wedding invitation in her mail a few months back, her blue eyes teared up instantly in blinding happiness. She was incredibly happy for her friend; so much so, that she took out her phone to message her, and hadn't stopped since. It was how she knew Raquel was incredibly stressed about planning, especially about the seating arrangements. "You need to bring a plus one!" Raquel had said to her two weeks earlier when they met up for coffee. It had been a long day and Hailey was utterly exhausted, but coffee with one of her oldest friends seemed to help. Hailey took a sip of her coffee, narrowing her blue eyes. "Uh — why is that?" "Because my tables aren't even! Specifically your table isn't even, and it would be if you brought a plus one!" Hailey was still confused. "Your argument seems flawed. Why don't you just add someone to the table?" "Because then it would just unbalance another table!" Raquel explained with a dramatic huff. "And I don't want you sitting alone at the table, Hails. There aren't going to be a lot of people you know there, and I'm going to be a little busy." "I won't be alone. I have the rest of the table," Hailey replied, enjoying the way her friend's eye twitched in frustration. Raquel took a bite out of her croissant. "What about that guy you're seeing?" "What guy?" Hailey snorted. "Do you mean the guy I just arrested a few hours ago? Because that's about the only action I'm getting lately." Raquel rolled her eyes, but there was a hint of an amused smile. "No! The one that's all over your instagram. He's cute! Why don't you bring him?" It took Hailey a moment, but she finally figured out who she was talking about. "Oh — oh, Jay? No, I'm not seeing him. He's just my parter." "Well, whoever he is, you should bring him. Or someone, I don't care who, just do me this one favour and bring someone." Hailey stared at her for a moment, before breaking into a small grin. "Fine. I'll bring a plus one." "Yes!" Raquel cheered excitedly. "Just let me know their name by this weekend so I can include it in my display!" She took another bite from her croissant, before raising her devious eyes back up to Hailey's face. "Tell me more about this Jay though..." 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛 The next day following her coffee date, she was receiving hourly messages from Raquel to make sure she actually found a date. Honestly, her friend's confidence in her dating skills astounded her. She spent the day with Jay, but couldn't bring herself to ask him; she just found it so embarrassing. So, instead, she found discreet opportunities within the day to ask her fellow Intelligence members. Kim apologized but said she had already devoted the entire day to her niece and she couldn't back out, not that Hailey would let her anyway. And Vanessa had a date, and no matter how much she loved Hailey, this was a very special date that she couldn't miss. Kevin looked frustrated when he informed her it was his little sister's birthday and he couldn't miss it, but assured her in any other circumstance, he would absolutely love to be her date. Hailey's second last option was Adam and unfortunately for her, he was as subtle as a car alarm. "You want me to be your date to a wedding?" He echoed her question, in a loud voice that travelled from the break room into the bullpen. Hailey noticed from the corner of her eye as Jay's head peeked up from where he was sitting at his desk, working on paperwork; of course his desk was closest to the break room. Hailey instantly slapped Adam's bicep. "Shh!" She admonished, but didn't really have an excuse to share with him when he glared at her in confusion. "Yes, I do. If you're available. Please tell me you're available." "I'm always available for you, Hailey," he replied with flirtatious lilt, but Hailey could see in his eyes it was all just fun and games. They had their fun little run together, but it was clear to both of them, more than ever, that they were better off as friends. Flirty friends, maybe, but nothing more. For a moment, Hailey was hopeful her begging journey could end here; but then Adam frowned. "But I can't," he replied, "I'm helping my sister move this weekend. She'll kill me if I try to bail." Hailey's shoulders sagged and she took a long, deep sip from her coffee mug. "Oh," she responded sadly, "That's okay. Thank you anyway." "Sorry, Hails," he nudged the top of her head, as he waited for her to catch up. "If it wasn't for that, I totally would. Any place with an open-bar and a dance floor, you know I'm there." At this point, they were passing Jay's desk and Hailey was positive he could hear their entire conversation, but she couldn't be bothered anymore. Hailey took a seat in her chair, while Adam took his seat behind her. Before devoting his time to his paperwork, he leaned back and whispered to Hailey, "You ask Halstead already?" "No," Hailey hissed back. "You should," he replied, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Hailey whipped her head around, completely nailing Adam in the face with her blonde locks; he disgustingly removed her curls from his mouth. "Stop talking about this before I stab you in the carotid with my pen!" Adam's eyes flashed dangerously. "You really know the way to a man's heart, Upton." Hailey rolled her eyes, but she couldn't help but smirk at his words. As she turned back around in her seat, she noticed Jay peering at her from behind his computer screen. Hailey avoided his captivating eyes. 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛 Hailey was walking to her SUV in the district parking lot, debating whether she should turn around and beg Jay to accompany her to the wedding, when she was stopped by Jay himself. "Hey," he greeted her gruffly. He was wearing his puffer jacket over his dark blue Henley (one of Hailey's favourite shirts on him) and his eyes were darting around her face, almost as if he was nervous about something. "Sorry, I just have to ask you something." Hailey looked on expectantly. "Yeah, sure. What is it?" Jay's eyes danced around her, before finally settling on her blue ones. "Were you going to ask me?" He blurted. "What?" "To the wedding," he added, meeting her eyes assertively. "You asked everyone else to be your date, but you didn't ask me. I just want to know why." Hailey's brain was starting to short-circuit. "Uh — well, I thought about it. I definitely thought about it, but I wasn't sure if it was your thing." "We face bullets everyday, Hailey," he smirked. "It's just a date to a wedding. If you want me to go, I'll go." He was clearly leaving her an opening, and Hailey wasn't stupid. He obviously wanted her to say it out loud; say that she wanted him to go. "I want you to go," she said definitively, meeting his eyes. It wasn't often they did things outside of work, except go get a drink, so this was new territory for both of them. But they've been partners for years, and if there was anyone Hailey trusted to accompany her to such an event, it was Jay. An excited smile broke out over Jay's features. "Great! Text me all the details. I'm excited." "Yeah," Hailey answered with a soft smile, "Me too." Jay nodded his head, stuffing his hands into his front pockets. "Okay, well that's all I really wanted to say," he replied, his excited smile fading into a sheepish grin. "I'll see you tomorrow then. Drive safe, Hailey." Hailey could feel her insides melting and it was merely over the fact that he said 'drive safe'. She wanted to hit herself, but that would just make her look crazy. "Yeah, you too. Night Jay." She watched him walk away, completely aware of the butterflies trying to escape under her ribcage. God, he was going to be the death of her. 💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛 Raquel was delighted when Hailey informed her she was bringing a date. She was even more ecstatic when she found out it was Jay; Hailey ignored the "I told you so!" Instead, she busied herself with finding the perfect dress for the occasion. She wasn't one for fancy dresses or fancy events (usually she had her blues to wear to fancy events), so choosing a dress proved to be challenging. She could only assume that Jay was going to blow them all away with his suit, because he was already naturally breathtaking. That man in a suit? Lord help them all. Hailey ended up choosing a burgundy dress she hadn't worn in ages. It was tucked in the back of her closet, but when she pulled it out, she knew it was perfect. It was a floor length gown, with cutouts above the hips and a long slit up the side, and if she was being completely honest, she knew it would look amazing on her. Plus, she had to compete with Jay somehow. Hailey already looked fancy enough with her dress. And she wasn't one for hair and makeup, so she kept her curls natural and applied a decent layer of mascara. She was attempting to distract herself from the unsettling feeling in the pit of her stomach; it was almost time for Jay to meet at her house, and she was unbelievably nervous. It seemed to work because as she was pulling on one of her block heels, the doorbell rang. Swearing, Hailey hobbled to the front door, attempting to not step on her dress. She hastily opened the door and headed straight for the stairs so she could sit and put on her other heel. "Hey!" She yelled out when her back was to him. "Shit, sorry," she mumbled as she stepped on her dress and nearly fell up the stairs. "I just need to put on my shoe and I'll be ready, I promise!" When she didn't hear an immediate reply for him, she glanced up. Jay had one foot through the threshold of the door, but his gaze was solely focused on her. His jaw was slightly open, and his green eyes were wider than usual. He seemed as if he was staring off into space, but he was staring at her. In any other circumstance, Hailey would have averted her gaze nervously. However, once she caught sight of how he looked in his black suit, she couldn't look anywhere else. He looked captivating in every way possible; she could see his white dress shirt peeking out from under the lapels of his jacket, and her gaze travelled down his body all the way down to his dress shoes. God, he looked gorgeous. "Hailey," her name dropped from his lips in a ghost of a breath; Jay didn't realize he had even said it until her eyes snapped up to meet his. "You look amazing." She knew she was blushing before she could even feel the heat in her cheeks. So, she looked back down at her hands where they were fastening the claps on her heel. "Thanks," she mumbled. "You look great too. You clean up nice." "Thanks!" When she looked up, he was smiling proudly. "You ready to go?" Hailey nodded her head, standing back up and grabbing her clutch. "I am ready!" She followed him through the door and locked it. Turning back to face him, she stopped and said fondly, "By the way, thank you for doing this. I don't know if I've thanked you already, but I really appreciate this." The bright smile that formed on Jay's lips brought butterflies into her stomach. "Of course, Hailey. The thought of an open bar is nice, but just getting to look at you in that dress all night is reward enough." Out of all the things she was expecting him to say, that was definitely not one of them. She was so thrown off her game, that she managed to trip over her own feet. He easily grabbed her arm because he was smooth as hell, and Hailey truly hated he was using that to his advantage and to her demise. "You alright?" Hailey pulled away from him to make her way to the passenger side of his truck before he did something ridiculous like open her door. “Yeah, of course,” she brushed off his concern. “It’s been a while since I wore heels.” “Well, you look great in them.” Hailey huffed, observing him as he started the drive over to the venue. “Okay, you have to stop.” “What? Stop what?” “You have to stop complimenting me.” She was expecting him to look sheepish or mildly apologetic, but when she spared a glance in his direction, he was smirking wildly. She didn't have to explain; Jay knew. The venue was close by. It was an outdoor wedding; Hailey peered over to the side where there was a rustic looking arch, complete with delicate flowers, placed at the end of a bed of flowers. There were elegant white chairs spread out amongst the ground, and Hailey could see a number of guests had already taken their seats. Over to the other side, was a multitude of tables decorated beautifully in white and silver aesthetic colours. There was also a dance floor in between all the tables, and a stage where instruments were neatly laid out. "This place looks fantastic," Jay commented in awe, "Your friend did an amazing job planning." Hailey nodded in agreement. “She really did.” Before Hailey got the chance to do anything else, she was stopped by a hand on her elbow. “Hailey? Hailey Upton?” She turned to see Jake Patterson; he also attended the academy at the same time Hailey and Raquel, and god, she couldn't remember the last time she saw him. They had run in different circles, mostly because Hailey liked to keep to herself, whereas Jake was more of an entertainer type. She remembered him as energetic and slightly chaotic, and looking at him now, she could see why. "Holy shit! It's been a minute!" Jake greeted her, pulling her in for a hug before Hailey even knew what was happening. "How have you been? Where are you working now? What's new with you? Tell me everything!" Hailey merely blinked, overwhelmed by all the questions. To her left, Jay snickered and earned Jake's attention. "Shit, man. I'm so sorry. I'm Jake, Hailey and I went to the academy together!" Jay extended his hand to meet Jake's in a firm handshake. "It's no problem. I'm Jay, Hailey's partner." "Oh!" Jake's eyebrows reached nearly up into his hairline. "That's awesome! How long have you two been together?” Hailey’s brows furrowed and she glanced at Jay quickly. It took her a moment, but she understood what Jake was getting at. “Oh — no, Jake, that’s not—” Jake’s attention was pulled elsewhere when someone came up behind him and clapped him on the shoulder. They promised to get him a drink from the bar and Jake’s eyes lit up. “It was nice to see you again, Hailey!” He nodded at Jay before he hurried off. “Did he—” Jay nodded. “I think so.” Hailey couldn't help but stifle a laugh as she met Jay's eyes with a shake of the head. Neither of them addressed the issue any further as they went on about their night, quickly finding their table after catching up with a few other friends. Being the first to arrive at their table bought a flock of others to follow their lead as the seats slowly began filling up, including the ones around them. "Bride or groom?" Both Hailey and Jay's heads snapped up at the sound of another woman speaking in their general direction. "Bride," Hailey smiled in response as she shook the hand of the woman before her. "I was in the academy with Raquel, actually. What about you?" "My husband is the groom's cousin — speaking of my damn, husband — where is he?" The woman craned her neck around in search for the man who clearly, was nowhere to be found as she settled down in her seat. "Well, at least you can keep tabs on your husband, right?" "Well actually —" "Oh! Richard! There you are! Sorry, dear — talk later? It was lovely meeting you!" For the second time that night, Hailey and Jay turned to look at each other, this time stifling a laugh at the apparent ridiculousness of the concept that they could be in any way romantically involved. Many thoughts were bouncing around in Hailey’s head but she pushed them all aside when the organ started playing and the flower girl and ring bearer started making their way down the aisle. Hailey wasn’t usually an emotional person, and she really had no idea how to react at a wedding, considering she hadn’t been to many, but she couldn’t held the proud smile accompanied by the tears that filled her blue eyes. She watched Raquel walk down the aisle with an almost bursting sense of awe, and she couldn’t be any happier for her friend. When she sat back down, she hastily wiped away the tear that escaped. She wasn’t expecting Jay to notice, but he was an observant detective, so of course he did. He hesitantly grabbed her hand and laid them in her lap. He gave her the opportunity to pull away if she wanted to, but when she looked up at him with a grateful smile, he relaxed in her grip. The ceremony was short and sweet; the reception to follow was the real party. Hailey and Jay were sat at a table with numerous other young couples, most of whom Hailey didn’t recognize. She saw the odd familiar face from back in the day but for the most part, Raquel was right; she hardly knew anyone there. Which is why she was more grateful than ever that Raquel forced her to bring someone, and that Jay was more than willing to accompany her. “So, how long have you two been together?” Hailey turned her head to meet the gaze of the friendly looking blonde to her left. The majority of her table had left to the dance floor or to mingle, but the blonde stayed in her seat while her partner chatted with another man who stopped by their table. “Oh,” Jay chuckled, deciding to intervene. “We actually—”

But frankly, Hailey found it hilarious that somehow, they’d been mistaken for a couple three times that night. So, what was the harm in having a little fun with it? Hailey turned to intertwine her arm with Jay’s and she stared up at him with fluttering eyelashes. Her actions seemed to cut him off mid sentence, and he looked down at her as if she’d gone insane. “Two years,” Hailey replied, leaning her cheek against Jay’s bicep and returning the blonde’s perky smile. She hadn’t gone undercover in a long time, and this gave her a little taste of what she’d been missing. “I’m Hailey, this is Jay.” Jay still looked bewildered, but he plastered on a smile to hide his confusion. “I’m Spencer, nice to meet you both!” She replied cheerily. “Sorry if I sound nosy, but you two are just so adorable! How did you meet?” Hailey glanced up at Jay, throwing him a tiny smile that only he could see. “You want to answer that, babe?” Jay’s eyes widened for a fraction of a second before he composed himself. “Uh, no babe, this is all you.” “Okay,” Hailey giggled, pulling away from him and facing Spencer. She stayed close to his side and even went as far as to grab his hand as she spoke. “I used to be a detective in robbery-homicide. I found him messing with my crime scene so naturally, I had to rip him a new one.” Spencer’s blue eyes were sparkling in excitement. “Feisty! So, not love at first sight?” “Actually, it was my crime scene,” Jay interjected, finally feeling comfortable enough to step into his character. He shot a smirk at Hailey, who raised her eyebrows. “Plus, you were late. Finders keepers.” Hailey scoffed. “That’s definitely not how it works. And like I said before, it was a robbery and there was a homicide; therefore, my scene.” “But it was a highly important case, so the commissioner wanted Chicago’s most elite unit to take over the case,” Jay shot back, eyes twinkling in amusement. Spencer’s gaze was jumping from Hailey to Jay, giggling at their banter. “And that meant me. Sorry, babe.” Hailey’s jaw dropped. She started this as a game, but Jay was here to win. Hailey turned back to Spencer with pursed lips. "Joke's on him because his boss recruited me a day later." "So, you two work together?" "We're partners," Jay explained, "She always had my six, and now she has my heart." Hailey choked on her glass of champagne, and one look at Jay's smirk, she knew he was just trying to mess with her now. He really drove it home when he stretched his arm along the back of her chair, fingers lingering on her bare shoulders. "That is absolutely adorable," Spencer cooed. Her eyes flickered up behind Jay. "Raquel! Caden! Congratulations, I'm so happy for you two!" Hailey turned to look behind her, spotting Raquel and her new husband. Immediately, Raquel's eyes dropped to Jay and Hailey's intertwined hands and an instant smirk made it's way to her lips. "Thanks, Spencer! I see you've met my friend Hailey." "And her boyfriend Jay!" Spencer tacked on with an excited smile; Hailey wanted to die at Raquel's amused expression. "They're the sweetest."

"Aren't they?" Raquel replied, trying but failing to hide the slight sarcasm in her tone. "I'm Raquel, it's nice to officially meet you, Jay." Jay happily shook her hand, moving onto her husband next. "I've heard so much about you! And congratulations on getting married, it's a beautiful wedding." "Thanks, man," Caden responded, holding onto Raquel's hand. "We need to finish the rounds. But thank you both so much for coming!" "Thanks, babe," Raquel said, leaning down to press a kiss to Hailey's cheek. "You owe me a conversation later!" She whispered. As they walked away, Jay looked at Hailey with soft eyes. "I think it's time for a drink. What do you think?" "I think it's time for a bottle," Hailey muttered, but turned to Spencer with a small smile. "We'll be back soon. Nice to meet you!" As they walked to the bar, Jay placed a low hand on the small of Hailey's back. "You want to tell me what that was all about?" Hailey ignored him until she successfully asked the bartender for a gin and tonic for her and a rum and coke for Jay. "I thought it was funny we kept getting mistaken for a couple, and I thought we could mess around with it for a bit. I wasn't expecting Raquel to show up." At his questioning expression, she continued. "Now she's going to be all I told you so and I'm going to have to hear about it for ages." "Why is she going to say 'I told you so'?" "Because she originally wanted me to bring the guy I was seeing as my date. She thought it was you because you're all over my Instagram," Hailey admitted. Jay nodded his head quizzically, a slow smile spreading across his face. "You always did like to post beautiful things." Hailey's eyes narrowed and without a second thought, she punched him in the shoulder. "That was gross, please stop." Their attention was brought back to the front when the MC announced it was time for all the single ladies to gather on the dance floor to catch the bouquet. Jay and Hailey watched as a swarm of ladies took up the entirety of the dance floor, and when Hailey didn't move, Jay shot her a curious glance. "Go on, Hails. It's your time to shine." Hailey turned to him with an incredulous expression. "I'm sorry, but do I look like the bouquet-catching type? No, thank you." Jay held his hands up in defence and turned back to the crowd. The ladies had backed up so much, they were only a few feet from where Jay and Hailey stood at the bar. The MC counted it down, and Raquel threw her bouquet on three. At the last second, Jay placed his hand on Hailey's back and shoved her forward, straight into the group of ladies who savagely fought each other for the bouquet. But as luck would have it, it landed perfectly in Hailey's unsuspecting arms. Hailey whirled around to glare angrily at Jay, but was distracted by all the congratulations from the other ladies. Raquel smirked wildly in Hailey's direction and held up her glass in cheers. Hailey really wanted to die now. A nudge from Jay's right tore his gaze away from Hailey's blushing figure. "Guess that's as bold of a hint as any, isn't it?" An older man, cradling a glass of whiskey, commented while glancing at Hailey. "You thinking of popping the question?" Jay instantly paled. "Oh, no. It's — it's too early for that." As he looked on at Hailey speaking to Raquel, he realized it wouldn't actually be the worst thing in the world for this relationship to be completely authentic, because honestly, it felt much too real to argue against it any longer. "Maybe one day." "That was ballsy, Halstead," Hailey hissed when she finally made her way back. "I have half a mind to shove this bouque—" "Dance with me." Hailey stopped, blinking in surprised. "What?" "Dance with me," Jay repeated, shrugging like it was nothing. He placed his now empty glass back on the bar and took Hailey's hand to guide her to the dance floor. His hand settled on her waist while hers hung onto his shoulder, while simultaneously holding onto her bouquet. "I was just thinking." "Yeah?" Hailey hummed. "About what?" Jay pulled her closer so he could look over her shoulder as he spoke his next few words. "Someone asked me if I was planning on proposing soon, after you caught the bouquet." He almost laughed when Hailey stumbled and accidentally stepped on his foot. "But the idea didn't totally horrify me." "Jay, what are you saying?" Hailey pulled away to look at Jay; his words were only confusing her even more. "I think you're beautiful and I always have. I think I've known for a while but I couldn't bring myself to mess up another partnership. I like you, Hailey. And to be honest, I was really glad Adam wasn't available to come with you tonight, because I don't think I would've been able to keep my cool. I like you, Hailey, and I'd really like to take you out on a date. A real date." Hailey expected many things from tonight, but a full-blown confession from Jay I-Don't-Talk-About-My-Feelings-Ever Halstead, was definitely not one of them.

"I — I would love that." A wide smile spread across Jay's features. "By the way, it was totally my crime scene." "Oh, shut up, Halstead."

💛

thank you for reading & i hope you enjoyed! x

#cpd!ss2020 #chicago pd #one chicago #upstead #upstead fic #upstead fanfic #upstead fanfiction #jay x hailey #hailey x jay #halstead x upton #upton x halstead #chicago pd fanfiction #cpd fic #jay halstead #hailey upton #adam ruzek #kim burgess #vanessa rojas #kevin atwater

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myluciferiscody · 4 years

Text

Class Fight (p.1)

pairing: teen!dandy mott x teen!reader

word count: 3,303

warnings: language, jealous dandy, slightly au!dandy, all characters are 18

part 2 part 3

It was the first semester of your Senior year. The first month of school had flown by, and the Fall dance was just a few weeks away. Your small group of girlfriends was anxiously awaiting for their crushes to ask them.

You weren’t particularly concerned with this. The dance fell on the one Saturday of the month where you had to accompany your mother to some stupid Tupperware party. It was the newest trend in American dining, and your mother needed you as her plus one. It wouldn’t hurt to miss one dance… right?

Your best friends Winter and Zoe were excited, but they were devastated you couldn’t come. You always went with them as a trio.

“Are you sure you couldn’t cancel?” Winter asked while you washed your hands in the bathroom sink. The school day was over, and you planned on accompanying her to the diner for greasy food and to catch up on homework.

“I already promised her weeks ago,” you said, drying your hands. “There’s still prom?”

Winter nodded in understanding, and you both knew it was the end of that discussion. Zoe came out of the stall, her face flushed and hair tied back. She looked clammy.

“You alright in there?” Winter asked her as Zoe took a disposable cup and drank some water.

“Kyle asked me to the dance!” Zoe replied breathlessly. You and Winter both congratulated her, and Winter asked why she looked so sick.

“I just got overwhelmed, you know? He came up and asked me right as I put my books away. I didn’t think he was going too, he never brought it up before-.”

You followed them out as Zoe recanted the story of how Kyle asked her. The halls were mostly cleared now as kids scrambled to leave as soon as possible.

“You’re riding with us, right?” Zoe then asked you, raising a neat eyebrow at you.

“Yes, Dandy probably left already.”

The girls both smirked to themselves, but you ignored it. You were used to it by now.

The thing was, Dandy Mott was the best looking guy in school, in your opinion. You had never attended a public school in your life, but you knew those boys could never compare. Dandy was from the wealthiest family in your private district, and with his looks, girls were all over him.

However, he was quite the character.

Dandy didn’t necessarily associate with a particular group of kids. He was reticent and didn’t bother with any clubs, but he was quite attuned to the drama program. He was also known for his temper if things didn’t go his way, but age matured him, mostly. You were one of the few people who he actually gave a damn about in life. You attributed that to knowing him before school. Your grandfather was a business partner with the Mott family, where your family name found their wealth, and how you two were friends.

You weren’t bothered by the unwanted attention you got from girls attempting to weasel their way into your circle for the chance to talk to Dandy. Most of them gave up quickly, and that was that. Plus, you had Winter and Zoe as your protectors. They weren’t afraid to kick a bitch in the vagina if they overstepped the clear boundaries you had set for yourself. Dandy trusted you, and you weren’t about to fuck that up.

Plus, his mother, Gloria, was continually trying to set him up with girls in other parts of town.

You climbed into Zoe’s new car, buckling your seatbelt and glancing across the almost deserted parking lot. You spotted him instantly, sitting in his car and staring right back. You slowly raised your hand, giving him a wave. Dandy slowly reciprocated the action, and you swore you saw him smile.

You spent the evening with the girls, eating dinner and trying to explain the symbolism in the required reading in English. The football team had finished their practice and were crowding what few booths and tables were left. You tried to block out their raucous laughter, loudly asking Zoe to read your theory to see if it were plausible.

Winter had noticed the Quarterback, Jason, occasionally staring at you as he chewed his burger. Your back was to him, so you had no idea. She didn’t say anything, instead watching him from the corner of her eye, figuring he wouldn’t approach your table.

“I just think it only makes sense to me,” you told Zoe, scratching your head. “I can’t concentrate with the boys screaming for no reason.”

“I think it makes perfect sense. You did misspell authority, though…”

You laughed to yourself, glancing around the diner as Zoe fixed your spelling. You were so distracted, you misspelled simple words.

“We should get ready and go, it’s getting stuffy in here…” Winter commented, closing her English book.

“Just a moment!” Zoe said excitedly, scribbling down in her own notebook now.

You had started gathering your things when both Zoe and Madison looked behind you, looking a mix of concern and amusement. You glanced behind you to see Jason Dean, smiling down at you. His dark hair covered his eyes, and he pushed it back.

You had no idea what to say. The last conversation you had with Jason was probably in fifth grade when he commented that women were weak while helping you carry boxes of school supplies, and you accidentally dropped a massive box of markers on his foot. He cried for an hour.

“y/n,” he addressed you. You glanced at your friends who were eagerly watching you with their faces hidden behind their textbooks. Winter’s was upside down.

“Hi, Jason,” you responded, hearing the confusion in your voice. You listened to his friends giggling behind you, and you wondered if this was a joke.

“I haven’t seen you in a minute,” he said cheekily, and you nodded. “You look good.”

You quickly looked him up and down. Jason was muscular but not bulky, and he was definitely a whole foot taller than you. He grew into his facial features, and he was a handsome guy. You assumed he was just talking to you on a dare, so you finished putting your things in your bag. Zoe and Winter didn’t budge, still pretending to read their books.

Jason realized you were dumbfounded at his statement. He quickly backtracked, “I just wanted to say hi. I’ll see you around.”

You bid him farewell, turning to your friends who were having a hard time concealing their laughter. You heard Jason’s best friend, Matthew, call him an idiot and what sounded like a smack on the back.

“y/n, you have a boyfriend?” Zoe asked, smirking at you.

You glared, standing up as they shouldered their bags and grabbed their books. “You know perfectly well I don’t speak to him.”

“I bet he wants to ask you to the dance.” Winter grinned at Zoe, who nodded in agreement as you stepped into the cold autumn air.

“I’m not going either way.” you mumbled, and the girls dropped it until the next morning.

You didn’t think it was that big of a deal that the Quarterback tried to talk to you at the diner a few nights before. All the students who were present spread gossip like wildfire. You ignored it. You knew they were just children speculating what it could mean when it probably meant nothing.

Zoe and Winter never brought it up again, and you were relieved that your friends didn’t dwell on it for too long. You loved that about them.

It was after lunchtime when you sat in your History course, going over the notes for the test. You heard Jason and a few of his friends pile in, laughing and making comments under their breath. They took their designated seats in the back, and you felt eyes on the back of your head.

A group of popular girls across the room started to giggle, and you glanced up to see Dandy walk in, his nose up and sauntering to the seat directly behind you. You wondered why he didn’t acknowledge you, but you didn’t dwell on it long. Dandy was often absent from any social interaction.

Your teacher began the class the moment the bell rang. She decided to go over the notes an extra day and postponed the test. You were mildly disappointed but knew the material well, so you decided to doodle in your journal. One of the girls in the front occasionally popped her gum.

Ms. Strode was talking about World War II when you felt something hit your elbow. You glanced over and saw a balled-up piece of paper. You glanced around to see most people were either frantically jotting down notes or not paying any attention. You picked it up, assuming it just needed to be passed ahead.

However, you read your name in neat cursive and opened it under the table.

Would you go to the dance with me? - Jason

You read the short invitation a good ten or so times before you could comprehend what he was asking. While the teacher wasn’t looking, you peeked over your shoulder to see him staring at you. His buddies were hiding their own smiles, but you didn’t see any malice behind it. Was he serious?

Of course, you’d have to decline. You already have an engagement. You promised your mother. You already declined the evening with your two best friends.

You didn’t send a note back, knowing it would be too distracting trying to pass it. Dandy would never try to give a stupid message.

However, Dandy had been paying attention and had managed to read the note over your shoulder when you laid it on your pencil case. He became green with envy, closing the book he hadn’t been paying attention too in the first place.

You hardly spoke a word to him this year. He wondered why that was. Dandy was very particular who he said too, and gave any sliver of his precious time. You were a comfort to him and probably didn’t realize that. Dandy knew he couldn’t seem desperate for your affection, or at the very least, your attention. He had hoped you’d be waiting for him in his car after school like the previous years before. Did he do something to upset you? Were you too good for him?

Dandy spent the rest of the class staring at the back of your head. He knew that wasn’t the case. Perhaps it was his behavior that steered you away. Of course, he liked being friends with you, but maybe it wasn’t enough. He was a loner who enjoyed his alone time. Dandy heard what people said about him. The general consensus was that he was doing everything right.

When the class was dismissed, he hung back, watching as you quickly gathered your things and paced out the door.

“Tough blow, man!” he heard Matthew say.

“She’ll come around.” Jason replied, his tone snarky. Dandy watched as they walked out of the room, his brows furrowing as he debated on taking the high road and asking you to the stupid dance himself. He wouldn’t go willingly. His mother, Gloria, needed him to be involved as much as possible. To keep up appearances, of course. Not for Dandy’s own goodwill.

Dandy trailed out of the class, seeing you across the hall at your locker. Winter was beside you, somehow talking and applying lipstick at the same time. He stood off to the side, not minding all the bodies bumping into him and temporarily panicking that he’d yell at them.

This is it, Dandy thought. It’s a war, whether Jason Dean knew that or not.

Jason approached you the following day and asked if you’d mind talking to him at lunch. You hesitantly agreed, catching Zoe’s eye as she hugged Kyle before going into her class. She smiled at you, and you gave her a hesitant one in return.

He definitely matured through the years. Jason was interested in you, and you felt comfortable talking to him through the entire lunch period, even catching yourself laughing at his sense of humor. Dandy played with the apple in his hands, glaring daggers at the back of Jason’s messy head. Winter noticed from her spot at your usual table and nudged Zoe, gesturing for her to look.

“He looks pissed.” Zoe giggled, and Winter nodded in agreement.

“I think Mott is going to kill him!” Winter said, stabbing at her steamed broccoli.

“Shouldn’t we let y/n know?” Zoe asked.

“I think she’s about to figure it out.” Winter said as Dandy stood up, heading directly to the table where you were sitting with Jason. Zoe and Winter fell into a hush, shoving food into their mouth and intently watching what was about to unfold.

Jason saw him approaching first and paused, sizing the other guy up and down. Jason was bigger than Dandy in height and muscle tone from being an athlete, but Dandy wasn’t lanky either. You turned around, shocked to find Dandy staring down at you.

“y/n,” Dandy nodded at you, ignoring Jason.

“Dandy, hi!” you said, genuinely happy to see him. “How are you?”

“I’m decent.” he said, smiling a little. “Could I have a word?”

You glanced at Jason, who seemed timid, but he nodded. You stood up, promising Jason you’d be back as you followed Dandy out to the hallway. Multiple eyes followed you, and you heard the whispers starting as the door swung shut.

“How are you?” Dandy asked now, looking down at you. His dark hair was neatly gelled and had a slight curl.

“I’ve been good. I haven’t heard from you in a while…” you said.

Dandy nodded, “I could say the same. I assumed you’d come back around soon enough.”

You felt he was hurt by your absence. Dandy looked bothered, and you felt terrible. However, he was capable of approaching you as well. Which is what he thought he had to do.

“Is everything okay?” you questioned, hoping his mother was doing well. You hadn’t seen her all Summer.

“y/n, you know you’re one of the only people I care about in this stupid town,” Dandy said, glancing towards a teacher walking to the lounge. He gave you guys a questioning look but didn’t comment, disappearing into the next room.

You weren’t sure how to respond to that, so Dandy continued, “Which is why I think you shouldn’t go to the formal with Jason.”

You frowned, “How do you know he asked me?”

“The whole school knows!” Dandy retorted, and you remembered. “I think it’s a bad idea.”

“It doesn’t matter, I’m not going either way.”

Dandy looked surprised, and you saw the relief in his eyes. He laughed a little, his fingers drumming against his leg. “Oh.”

“What, are you jealous?” you asked, laughing at him. Dandy tried to hide his laughter, but it didn’t work. The quiet hallway was filled with your giggles.

“That’s for me to know and for you to find out.” Dandy said, and you were saddened to hear the bell ring. Dandy straightened up, the smile leaving his face as kids filed out of the cafeteria and the surrounding classrooms. Kids stared at you and whispered, many laughing and wondering if you were now a couple.

Jason slowly walked in your direction, but you didn’t want to say goodbye to Dandy. You were ashamed that you had avoided him for so long. You missed him. Dandy glanced behind you, his eyes sharpening as your new suitor waited patiently, his hands in his beige jacket.

“Be careful around him.” Dandy whispered to you before he disappeared down the hall.

You approached Jason, who gave you a soft smile, “Am I missing something? Are you two together?”

You shook your head, a light smile on your lips, “No. We’re just friends.”

“Oh…” Jason nodded, “Look, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry if I freaked you out the other day. We don’t have to go to the dance together, but-.”

“Oh!” you gasped. Jason frowned, giving you a quizzical look. “The dance… I forgot,” you lied. “Uhm, I’m actually not going. I have other plans…” you said.

Jason looked defeated but took the rejection gracefully. You promised you’d sit with him again tomorrow, and he visibly cheered up at that. You ended up having to sprint to your locker for your books after saying goodbye, but you couldn’t stop thinking about Dandy’s warning.

“Be careful around him.”

The Friday before the dance went to complete shit.

That morning you ate your breakfast slowly, listening to your parents argue in the kitchen over a business deal your mother thought was a bad idea. Your father was greedy and looked towards the top dollar than what was best for the business and the family.

If that wasn’t bad enough, Winter fell sick and couldn’t go to school. You had to wait for your father to finish getting ready before he could drive you. You were ten minutes late and got a verbal warning; you never got in trouble at school. You had three tests in a row, and by lunch, you were about to rip your hair out.

Jason was nowhere to be found, so you sat with Zoe. She was worried that Winter would miss the dance but was happy that she’d at least have Kyle if Winter canceled. Kyle came and sat with you guys, his shaggy blond hair wet from the downpour outside.

You were anxiously looking around the cafeteria for any sign of Dandy. He had missed a few days of school, citing a fever when you called his house and spoke to his maid, Dora. You wished him well and knew he’d pull through fast. Plus, you saw his car this morning when you got dropped off.

“They’re going to cancel the dance if more kids fall ill,” Kyle said as he ate a burger. Zoe glared at him, telling him to look on the bright side of things.

“What? I am!” Kyle replied, smirking at his new girlfriend.

“I’m sure they won’t cancel.” you placated Zoe, who beamed at you. “All the parents who gave money will be pissed.”

You ate most of your lunch when the principal walked in. The room immediately quieted as he observed the tables before landing on you. He walked to you briskly, and you felt your heart racing as he approached.

Am I getting detention? I’ve only been late once!

“Ms. y/l/n, could you come with me?” he asked politely, smiling at you, Zoe, and Kyle.

You nodded slowly, bunching up your trash and placing it on the tray. Zoe told you to leave it, and they’d take care of it. You quietly thanked her and followed Principal Harmon out, struggling to keep pace with his long, thin legs.

“Is everything alright, sir?” you asked. Now wondering if your parents died in some fiery crash or if you failed a class.

“There’s been a disturbance outside this afternoon,” Harmon replied, his voice grim. “With Mr. Mott and Mr. Dean.”

You were shocked to hear this. You were silent during the rest of the trek to his office. When he opened the door, you saw both boys sitting in chairs. They both had packs of ice on their faces and sheepish expressions.

“What were you thinking?” you hissed to them as Mr. Harmon gestured for you to take the empty seat next to Dandy.

“Well, now that y/n is here, I think you both owe her an explanation and an apology.”

Jason and Dandy shared a look. Dandy now looked pissed, and you could only imagine what lead to this.

Oh, I have a pretty good fucking idea.

#dandy mott #dandy mott x reader #ahs imagine #dandy mott imagine #ahs freak show #winter anderson #zoe benson #american horror story

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hotchley · 3 years

Text

aaron

summary: “some of us grow up to catch them.”

ssa hotchner. former prosecutor. unit chief of the behavioural analysis unit. best shot in the whole of the quantico building. dad to jack and his entire team.

aaron hotchner. just a boy, trying to make it through the day.

(alternatively known as the backstory, the moments between, and the hotch episode we never got)

read chapter one here!

chapter two: the moments in between

trigger warnings for this chapter : minor character deaths, death of a parent, implied/referenced child abuse, court cases involving a not guilty verdict to a charge of abuse, arson, references to cancer, references to the death of a child, vomit/sickness, references to self-harm and suicide, stabbing, canon-typical violence, blood, implied/reference drug addiction, references to domestic violence (this is between hotch's parents)

Aaron Hotchner was a lawyer full of contradictions.

He had graduated at the top of his class, but he never once referenced his own father’s abilities when he started practicing. And instead of becoming a defence lawyer- a role that would have led to him holding a position of power within weeks- he became a criminal prosecutor.

He claimed it was what called to him.

In reality, it was because he refused to let anything else be tainted by the memory of his father. He remembered the nights where his father would come home and talk about the horrible things his clients had done. He remembered how he had laughed and said he would be able to make all of those things go away with a few words. He remembered how his stomach had tightened at the injustice of it all.

But he wasn’t a scared little boy anymore. He was an adult. He was as close to happy as he could be when he spent his days looking at photos of people who had lives, and hopes, and dreams that were cut short. When an ordinary day at work meant putting some bad people behind bars whilst he was forced to let others go free.

When he was in court, he was amazing. He was cold and emotionless. People genuinely believed he had no emotions, that there was nothing that could faze him. Killers and abusers would hurl insults at him, defence lawyers would pull random laws from nowhere and he would take it. He would think on his feet and come up with something. But then there were sudden moments where he would look so vulnerable. Like when he spoke to a child, a young woman, the family that thought they hadn’t done anything to save their loved one.

The only time he would smile was when the blonde woman in his life would appear. Sometimes it was with lunch, dressed semi-casually, hair slightly messy and pen on her face from whatever it was she was doing. Other times it would be in a pretty dress. Those would be the days where he would look mildly terrified for a moment, before grinning and leading her out the office. On the bad days where they would be forced to come in on a weekend, she would come in with her own work and keep him company.

Haley had gone into teaching. High school history, although she always helped with the various productions held. She was a natural with the kids, always doing her best to be understanding and helpful, instead of confrontational and harsh. Despite this, there were still nights where she would come home, not saying anything. Those nights, Aaron would wrap his arms around her and let her cry about the injustice of the system.

Those were the nights he remembered just how lucky he was that she had taken a chance on him, unlike everyone else, who had left him to suffer. He didn’t want to think about where he would’ve been without her. Or if he would’ve even been anywhere on this earth.

So their lives weren’t perfect, and he woke up screaming some nights, but they were good. They both had stable jobs in the same area, which meant they could eat dinner together and fall asleep in each other’s arms every night. Haley liked linking their hands together so she could look at their wedding rings.

The wedding had been small, more for her parents than anyone else. He still didn’t believe he was worth loving. She had always dreamt of a wedding, but with Aaron none of that seemed to matter. What mattered was him being around. Her parents however, weren’t having any of it and even offered to pay for the wedding if that was the problem.

Haley had very kindly told them to keep their money. If her and Aaron were to get married, they would do it the way they wanted to, with their savings and their budget.

In the end, the wedding had been a compromise. Haley’s entire family, all of her high school friends and sorority sisters were invited, and everyone but Meredith attended. Aaron’s mother and brother came, as well as some of his friends from law school, but the list of people he actually wanted there was even shorter than Haley’s. She refused a seating plan for that exact reason.

After they cut the cake, they managed to sneak away for a few minutes. The wedding had been outdoors. They could see the stars. And when Aaron looked at her, he fell in love all over again. He could hear the music faintly, and so he had offered his hand and they had danced, feeling like they were seventeen all over again. That night, there had been no darkness inside him. Only joy.

And as one of his favourite authors, Joseph Campbell, had written: find a place inside where there’s joy, and the joy will burn out the pain.

But when you saw the things he did, it was difficult to find a place where joy could survive. And even when it was there, it was temporary. Because no matter what he, and everyone else in the district attorney’s office did, the evil never stopped. There was always somebody else getting hurt. Another victim not being believed. A lawyer quitting because they couldn’t keep looking at the worst of humanity and surviving.

Aaron’s own last case haunted him years after he joined the FBI.

He had been on edge for a while. Christmas had come and gone. With it, the never-ending questions from various colleagues and family members about when he was next coming home. When was Haley going to have a baby? Were they even trying for a child? Was Aaron having some difficulties? Or worst of all, when was he going to let go of his grand delusions and silly ideas and settle down as a defence lawyer?

Returning to his real home- the apartment him and Haley resided in, that had come to life with their little knick-knacks- had been a relief. She wasn’t fond of going home and seeing everyone that had failed Aaron, but she loved her family and friends. Aaron could never get away fast enough. She respected that. It was why they worked.

The new year came, and with it, new cases.

Aaron wasn’t trying to bring a killer to justice with only the evidence from the crime scenes and the testimony of families. He was trying to save an innocent child and make sure the only monsters in their life were the ones imaginary ones under the bed, instead of the father they said was abusing him and his mother.

It was like looking in a mirror. An innocent child finally snapping and telling the police the truth about their home life. But where Aaron had been mocked and told to stop being a liar, the police had listened. Gathered the evidence. They had done their job. Now it was time for Aaron to do his.

He poured over the files for hours. He found every piece of evidence he could. He would not fail this child. Not the same way he had been. He would find the truth behind every hospital visit, between every tear they had ever shed and he would make sure that the old bastard’s wife and son never had to be scared for their lives ever again.

Aaron was going to do what nobody ever did for him.

It was a week before the trial. New evidence had been located. It was all important, obviously, but there was something they were missing. Something Aaron knew would make all the difference to their case. He just needed to find out.

His phone lit up. Sean was calling him. He rolled his eyes. He couldn’t be dealing with his younger brother’s complaints in that moment. And he certainly couldn’t be lending him any more money. Him and Haley were saving for a mortgage. Then they would have a real home. Somewhere to call their own.

Somewhere to eventually raise their own children.

Sean tried to call him two more times. And Aaron declined two more times. It was a bit strange that he was phoning so consecutively, but it was probably nothing. No, not probably, definitely. It always was.

He turned back to the files, making sure his phone was on silent. When the clock ticked to six, he hurriedly locked majority of the files away in his cabinet and put the ones that had just come through into his briefcase. Haley had planned a nice evening for the two of them. But if- when- he woke up in the early hours of the morning, at least he could do something productive.

There were two more missed calls from Sean. Aaron made a mental note to phone him when he got home.

“Give me fifteen minutes to shower and then I’m yours, I promise,” he said as he entered their living room, shoes already neatly put away on the porch.

There were two packed bags on the couch. Haley was sat, wearing a black dress, hands in her lap, landline next to her. Her head was bent, but her body was shaking as tears slipped down her cheek, dampening the fabric.

Aaron felt bile rising in the back of his throat as he knelt in front of her. “Baby,” he whispered.

She shook her head.

“Baby, what happened? Just tell me, it’s okay.”

“Your mom’s gone,” she said.

“What?” Aaron whispered.

“I’m so sorry Aaron. I am so- that wasn’t the way I wanted to tell you. It’s just- Sean said she was admitted to the hospital earlier, and she passed away about an hour ago. They phoned here because you didn’t answer your cell phone. I tried to explain everything, really, but they wouldn’t let me speak and-”

“She’s really gone,” Aaron said.

Haley embraced him, awkwardly wrapping her arms around his neck as he sobbed, the knowledge still not sinking in, but the emptiness in his heart was threatening to overwhelm him entirely. They sat like that for what may have been hours or minutes as his body shook. Only when his tears turned to hiccups did Haley pull away, gently wiping away his tears with the sleeve of her dress.

“You should shower. There’s nothing else you can do now,” she said.

Aaron shook his head. Haley stood and led him to the bathtub.

“All you need to do is keep your head up for me, okay?”

The shower had no effect on him. Haley helped him dress. He felt like a small child, needing someone’s assistance to button his shirt up. But he couldn’t make his body cooperate with him. He couldn’t do anything, still in shock that she was gone.

Haley put the bags in the boot. Aaron got in the passenger side. He spent the journey staring out the window. When the buildings became more familiar, he closed his eyes, not opening them until they reached Haley’s old home. He turned to her in confusion.

“Sean is staying with a friend tonight. Going back to that house is not something you need to do today. My parents already said we could stay with them.”

Of course they did. Because everyone must’ve already known that his mother died. His mother had died and he hadn’t been there because he’d ignored his brother’s phone calls. What kind of person did that make him?

Haley no longer had the key. She rang the doorbell, one arm still wrapped around him as they awkwardly stood outside. Hotch remembered the first time he had gone to her house for dinner. It had been after his father passed away. He’d spent the entire meal feeling uncomfortable. Like the Brooks’ weren’t going to approve of him.

Her mother had hugged him, cradling the back of his head, whispering her condolences, both for what had been lost and for what the town had failed to do. Roy Brooks had shaken his hand, saying that anyone would be proud to call him their son. Jessica had dragged him to one side and said they’d all known about Haley sneaking him in during the night, but nobody knew what to say.

When he got home, he crawled into bed and sobbed. For the first time, somebody loved him unconditionally.

It was her mother that answered the door. When she saw who it was, she ushered them in. Aaron remembered at the last moment that he was supposed to take his shoes off. Haley led him to the living room.

Roy embraced him. “You’re freezing,” he whispered. “Darling, put some tea on. Aaron, how are you feeling?”

He shook his head. He did not deserve kindness. Not in this moment.

“That’s okay. You don’t have to talk. Just drink some tea and then got some sleep. Haley’s old bedroom has been set up for the two of you. And we’ll both be here if you need anything. The next few days are going to be draining for both of you, so please, don’t hesitate in asking for any kind of support.”

“Thank you Papa,” Haley said, rubbing her husband’s back.

Aaron tried to smile, but it was forced and uncomfortable.

Roy was the one who drove him to the funeral home. Haley had offered, but she had already driven them from their apartment, which had tired her out because she hated driving, so Aaron had declined, having every intention to bear the burden alone. But as he was slipping his shoes on, Roy had emerged, saying nobody should have go alone.

Sean was waiting outside for the two of them, eyes red, biting his nails. When Aaron looked at him, he couldn’t even imagine him as the eighteen-year-old about to go to college that he was. When Aaron looked at his little brother, he just saw the little boy who didn’t understand that their dad wasn’t coming home. Only this time, there were no comforting lies to give him. He understood everything. Including Aaron’s failure.

“How could you?” Sean whispered the moment he saw his brother.

Aaron looked down.

“She was in the hospital, constantly asking where you were. She didn’t care that I was there. She just wanted to know where her precious baby was, and I had to keep lying and say that you were coming when in reality, I had no fucking clue where you were. It was not supposed to be me holding her hand. It was supposed to be you. But you weren’t there, and so you have no right to turn up, now looking all sad and pathetic.”

Michael Hotchner had not been right about much. But he had been right about one thing. Aaron Hotchner was his mirror. Sean Hotchner was his son.

“Sean Hotchner. That is enough. You do not get to disrespect your brother or your mother like that. Go inside, and do not create another scene,” Roy snapped.

When Sean departed, he turned to Aaron, who was shaking.

“Son?”

“He’s right,” Aaron whispered. “I should have been there. He- Sean phoned me and I didn’t answer because I thought it was stupid and I had this case and- I failed her.”

“Look at me. It’s not your fault. It was her time to go, and you cannot spend the rest of your life blaming yourself. Sean is angry and grieving, and he doesn’t mean a single word of what he said. You’re a good man, doing a good job and you make my daughter happy. Don’t ever forget that. Okay?”

Aaron nodded, not truly believing him. He followed Sean into the funeral home, where they spent the next few hours in a tense, uncomfortable silence. Aaron wanted to comfort his brother, but he didn’t know how. Not when Sean stood as far away from him as possible.

The funeral was a day later. Once again, Haley held his hand until the priest called him up to say a few words. Aaron managed to make it through his eulogy with minimal tears, but the moment he was back beside his wife, he turned away from the grave, letting the tears fall.

The people were silently judging him for what he had failed to do. Roy glared at everyone that dared tried to voice these opinions. They were wrong. Aaron hadn’t failed anyone. He’d gotten there the moment he was supposed to, and if those people were even half as religious as they liked to claim they were, they would know that.

“You take as long as you need,” Haley whispered, when everyone else, even Sean had departed.

Aaron nodded, holding the flowers he’d grabbed from the car to his chest like a baby. He watched as Haley left, going to sit in the car to give him the space he needed. He’d told them all to drive home, that the walk would do him some good. He watched on unsteady legs as the car faded from view.

And then he fell to his knees, sobbing, one hand pressed to his mouth to stop too much noise from escaping, the other blindly feeling around for the flowers left by Sean. Their mother had hated roses- somehow, she always managed to prick her finger on the thorns. The only reason they had ever been in the house was because on the days where people would come round, his father would turn up with a bouquet of them, and she would dutifully smile and accept them.

Aaron moved the roses so they were hidden by all the other flowers they had left. And then he put his own small bouquet of carnations right where the headstone would go.

“Mama, I am so sorry,” he whispered.

And then he walked away, unable to stand the sight of the grave anymore.

The defence ripped him and his witnesses to shreds.

The verdict was not guilty.

The child was sent home.

“You promised me,” they sobbed as their father stood with an easy smirk on his face.

He was sick the moment he got home. Haley didn’t say a word. She just showed him an advert for the FBI that had been posted through the letterbox. When he stared at her, she smiled. Said that she had married Aaron Hotchner the man, not Mr Hotchner the prosecutor.

Two weeks later, he was enrolling in the FBI Academy.

Six months later and he was Agent Hotchner. He liked that. It was his own, and nobody would ever associate the title with his father. He could be his own person.

Then David Rossi gave him the nickname of Hotch and he couldn’t be happier. It would’ve made his mother smile. And his father turn in his grave at the utter shame of his good name being reduced down to something so mundane.

But being a profiler was tough. Every case meant dealing with the very worst of humanity. And even among the worst, there was a hierarchy. Some cases were just more disgusting, more scary and more scarring than others. A few cases reminded him that profilers were all just a step away from becoming unsubs themselves. That the line could and would blur before any of them even realised.

Vincent Perrotta left him vulnerable. Physically and emotionally. Jason had told him to loosen his tie and undo his top button, but Aaron needed the reassuring pressure of both things at his neck in order to maintain some kind of illusion of control in spite of the damage done by the wire.

He didn’t open up to unsubs. One of the most important parts of conducting an interrogation was to make them think you understood them without giving away anything about yourself. And most of the time, he was good at doing that. He pretended to understand the hatred of children, pretended to agree with them when they claimed that all women were just manipulative bitches and he pretended to find it amusing when they thought that the person doing the act was right.

The key word was pretend.

He wasn’t pretending when he looked Perrotta in the eye and told him the one thing that only Haley and Dave were aware of. Had it been any other time, it would’ve been funny. His own team didn’t know what his father had done to him, but this serial killer did, and it was all because he’d slipped up and said us instead of them.

Hotch had never been so thankful there was a bathroom on the same floor as his office that nobody ever used. The moment Perrotta turned away, the realisation that his crimes had never been inevitable causing more distress than the murder of the woman had, Hotch had bolted.

He hadn’t eaten since the incident in the night. It hurt to swallow. Which meant despite the minutes he spent retching over the toilet seat, hands trembling because how many times had he looked in the mirror and seen the exact same look that he’d witnessed on Perrotta, nothing came out.

Morgan was stood by the door.

“I know we have a no profiling rule.”

“Then follow it.”

“Reid’s doing your paperwork. He’s surprisingly good at forging your handwriting and I’m not sure I want to know why. That means all you need to do is sign it. Go home.”

“You’re not my superior Morgan,” Hotch snapped.

Morgan didn’t even blink. “I know. But you won’t write me up for insubordination. There’s no reason for you to be here, but there is every reason for you to be at home.”

Their relationship was a strange one. They trusted each other as agents- it was the only way they were able to go out in the field- but not as individuals. But then every once in a while, Derek would do something like this and Hotch would wonder if it was his way of saying that he did indeed care.

He was right though. There was every reason for him to be at home.

The living room light was off, so he immediately headed upstairs. Jack was asleep in his crib. Hotch felt uneasy in the nursery. Both he and Haley knew this was their forever home, which was why they had a nursery- it could be Jack’s bedroom until he moved out- but after Karl Arnold, he wasn’t sure how he felt about not being able to see him in the night.

“He won’t wake up if you hold him,” Haley said from the doorway.

“You should be asleep,” he replied, feeling guilty that he must have woken her.

“No, I shouldn’t. What happened?”

“How do you know something happened?”

She shrugged. “I know you.”

He sighed. “I don’t want to burden you. You already put up with enough from me.”

She crept closer, wrapping her arms around his waist, and he was transported back to the bathroom, only now the scars on his back had healed but not faded and more, both visible and hidden, covered his body because profiling always damaged people.

“You’re not burdening me. I’m asking.”

“Serial killer. His dad abused him and his mom. I accidentally told him that some of us grow up to catch them. But Hales, the look on his face. It was like he finally realised that everything he did had been because of him, not because of his father and I just, I sympathised. What kind of person does that make me?”

“A good one.”

“I saw myself in him. The person I might have become if you hadn’t saved me,” he confessed, still watching his son.

Haley’s grip loosened. He realised what he had said.

“Aaron that wasn’t me. You saved yourself. You got out and you decided you were going to break the cycle. That was you. I just helped you along the way. Hey, look at me.”

He turned, tears in his eyes. Haley smiled, still as bright and good as the day they met. She took his hands and lifted them to her lips, placing a soft kiss to them before leaning past him and lifting Jack up. The baby stirred slightly, but did not wake, even when Haley handed him to Aaron.

“You won’t hurt him. Or me. You will never be like the people that you hunt down. I will die before that ever happens,” she said. There was such raw passion in her voice that the tears finally fell.

Haley would die before he hurt someone. And he had made a vow to her father the day they married that he would keep her safe, and a second the day he joined the FBI that if Haley were to die, it would not be because of his job.

“Thank you,” he whispered, putting Jack down so he could press a kiss to her forehead.

“I love you,” she said, like it was the easiest thing in the world for her to do. Because to her it was. She just wished he could understand that.

He didn’t know how to say the words. Not in the way that she needed. So instead he smiled, took one last look at his baby and walked away. He pretended to be fine because Haley shouldn’t have to worry about her. In reality, the moment she fell asleep, he went and checked the locks. Again.

The darkness shouldn’t have been able to creep in, but it did. It always did.

“I hope Morgan wasn’t too rough with you,” Gideon said, taking the seat opposite him.

Hotch looked at him. Gideon gave him that smile that never seemed to be aimed at him anymore. He sighed, fiddling with the pen he’d placed on the paperwork he hadn’t touched since boarding the jet. Talking to Abby’s son had been more painful than he’d expected, but somebody needed to do it. It was the least they could do for him.

“I’ve handled worse,” he replied.

Gideon hmmed at that. “That doesn’t mean you have to. I made you some tea. Herbal. Apparently it’s calming. You should drink it.”

Hotch stared at the mug like it was going to poison him. Then he carried on staring out the window. It was dark, and there wasn’t really much to see, but he couldn’t keep looking at the sympathy on Jason’s face. It made him feel sick. He wasn’t the one that had lost a father that day. He had just gotten too close, again, despite constantly telling everyone that wasn’t something they could do.

It was impossible to get the image of him burning to death out of his mind. Whilst he wanted to believe Abby’s death had been swift and painless, much like his own father’s heart attack, he knew that was impossible. He’d seen enough burn victims to know it took time for that happen. He wondered if, in those final moments, Abby regretted his decision.

“Hotch there was nothing we could have done to save him,” Gideon said gently. He wished Dave was still there. He would know what to say, what to do. Gideon had never had that relationship with Aaron. He liked to think he had that relationship with Spencer, but Aaron was different. He didn’t understand him.

“I should have stopped him. He should have had more time. If only so he could look at his son and tell him what was going on.”

Gideon tilted his head to the side. “Spencer mentioned that you had gone to see the family. Why didn’t you send JJ? She is our media liaison, that’s her job description, not yours.”

“JJ wouldn’t have understood. I had to go. It had to be me.” Hotch didn’t really know why he was telling Gideon any of this.

“It was your penance, wasn’t it? You think it’s your fault that he died, so you decided to make the fallout your responsibility. Hotch, you’re the Unit Chief now. The team look to you. You can’t tell them to do one thing and then do the exact opposite.”

He closed his eyes. He didn’t want to be SSA Hotchner, or even Hotch. He wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to be Aaron, because even though Haley and Dave- the only people that used his first name- had always treated it like something precious, the ghost of his father made him think the only way it could be said was with disdain.

Even with his eyes closed, he knew Jason was watching him. He opened his eyes and turned slightly, watching the other members of the team. JJ and Emily were laughing at something that Morgan was saying. Reid was smiling. Hotch felt relieved. It had been far too long since Reid had smiled, and he knew he was the one to blame.

Jason followed his gaze. “They’ve all come so far, haven’t they? One day, they won’t even need us.”

That startled Hotch. His eyes met Gideon’s and he realised his mistake immediately.

“I see. It wasn’t just Abby you saw yourself in. It was his son. That’s why you went. You were compensating.”

“Please don’t profile me,” he whispered, knowing it was useless.

“I’m not. Now I know I’m no David Rossi or Haley Brooks, but I am here. However much you may not agree, I am.”

It was useless to say that he didn’t think that. Because he did, and it was written in the hesitance of his decisions. Of his constant watching. Of the pile of paperwork in his office that was meant to be Jason’s.

“I wanted- needed- to know who it was that my father had been having an affair because everyone, including my own mother, had known. But then he was diagnosed with cancer and all of that became irrelevant. I never got my answers, and it still hurts, even now.”

Nobody, not even Haley, knew about that. She obviously had her suspicions, and she knew about his lack of closure, but he had never properly told her.

Jason wasn’t saying anything. Hotch looked at him and saw that the other man was looking past him, not at him. He followed his gaze, and realised he was looking at Spencer. He swallowed the lump in his throat and smiled as Derek ruffled his hair.

He turned back, and saw that Jason was watching Spencer with the soft smile he had never managed to evoke. He blinked back tears. He missed Dave. He wanted Dave because Dave would know what to say to stop him feeling like such crap. Jason didn’t. Because Jason loved Spencer more than he loved Aaron, and Aaron couldn’t even fathom resenting either of them for that because it wasn’t either of their faults.

It was just a fact of life. But that didn’t mean it still didn’t sting when instead of replying, Gideon stood and went over to the other members of the team, intently listening to whatever it was Spencer was saying.

Haley would tell him to phone Dave. But he couldn’t disrupt his book tour like that. Instead, he kept staring out the window, trying to forget how beautiful the flames had looked against the darkness of the night or how deep down, he almost wished it had been him in there.

It was too close to the line between profiler and unsub.

He bottled up his emotions and hoped that Jason would stay. If not for him, then for Spencer. Because he couldn’t be that person. He was barely that person for Jack.

Jason did not stay. Neither did Haley. They both reached their breaking points and then Hotch pushed them too far.

Deep down, he knew the moment where they both decided they couldn’t take it anymore, the moment where they finally admitted to themselves that they deserved better and they took the steps to get there.

He just never expected they would happen on the same day. He supposed he’d bought that upon himself though. It was him that had said Jason was okay to return to work, for the purely selfish reason that he couldn’t do it alone even though he knew Gideon needed more time. It was him that had left on the case because Morgan had asked him to, even though Haley had asked him not to.

What kind of marriage was that? He didn’t know who had phoned. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know but there was no guarantee that Haley was having an affair. To suggest that she was would be cruel. It would only be because he didn’t want to have to take accountability for his part in the breakdown of their marriage.

It did take two to tango.

But where Jason took a piece of Spencer’s heart, Haley took the reason Hotch had never been able to stop hunting down monsters.

Morgan told him they would survive without Gideon. Hotch knew they would, but he wasn’t sure he could. Gideon’s departure, as much as he didn’t want to seem narcissistic, would reflect on him. He hadn’t saved him. He hadn’t been able to save his marriage- because Haley had done all she had and it had been his turn- and now the unsub’s last words were haunting his memory.

He had always taken pride in the fact that he was a difficult man to profile. A face schooled into a cautious look of neutrality, suits that hid the fact that he never seemed to have an appetite anymore. The only thing that ever gave away his nerves was the small hand thing he had never been able to stop doing.

For his own profession to be used against him in such a way, so soon after he had failed to save so many people- the six agents in Boston, Elle, Jason, Haley- was disarming. He wasn’t sure what he was meant to do. Normally, he would’ve gone to the home where Haley would have left a light on for him. He would’ve watched his son sleep and just stared at him in awe. He would’ve pressed a kiss to Haley’s forehead before climbing into their bed and seeking her warmth. Maybe, if it had been too late to go home, he would’ve taken Jason to the piano night down at the bar.

But Haley had taken her warmth and the thing that made their house a home with her. All the rooms would be dark when he got back. Jack’s room would be empty. Their bed would be cold.

He hadn’t slept alone since college. It hurt, to wake up in the morning and not see Haley’s hair, messy and knotted.

He just didn’t want to be alone, but who was he supposed to tell?

“Reid. I’ll drop you home. It’s been a long few days,” he said.

Everyone else had left. Reid looked up with wide eyes. He looked so painfully young, and Hotch felt a slight pain in his stomach. What was this job doing to him? Spencer deserved better than sleepless nights and painful memories that would never be forgotten. Hotch guessed that one day, Spencer would be added to the list of people he had failed to save.

In some ways, he already was.

“I can go myself,” Spencer mumbled.

“Reid. Let me do this. Please,” Hotch said.

Spencer nodded. “Okay.”

They left, the car far too silent for either of them to be comfortable. Hotch wanted to debate something intellectual, if only to soothe Spencer’s nerves, but the words classic narcissist still left a bitter taste in his mouth. And his mind had gone completely blank regarding anything else.

“We’ve driven past the turning. The route that you’re now going down would mean that getting to my apartment would take an hour extra.”

Hotch kept his eyes on the road, subtly checking that the car doors were locked. “You’re coming home with me. I don’t think you should go home alone.”

Reid turned to face him properly. “I don’t need you to treat me like a child. I get enough of that from everyone else. Gideon left me with a letter, just like my dad. He’s not going to come back and rationally, I have to accept that, because refusal to do so won’t change anything.”

“Maybe. But you should know better than anyone that we can’t control our brains.”

He realised the moment the words left his mouth that it wasn’t the right thing to say, and he immediately regretted them. What Reid thought he was trying to imply was definitely not what he was, but the words had come out wrong and now Reid was going to hate him too.

“I do. Know that. Don’t need you reminding me.”

He sounded just like Jack. Hotch swallowed. “I know. I’m sorry, that came out badly. What I meant was that you’re allowed to feel like you’re being irrational. Missing Gideon is a valid emotion, regardless of the way he left us. You. I meant you.”

They were stuck at a red light.

“Hotch, why haven’t you transferred?” Reid asked suddenly.

He shifted slightly. “My reason for doing it is no longer a thing.”

Reid frowned, and Hotch hit the gas.

“Oh,” he whispered. “I’m sorry. Is it our fault?”

Hotch shook his head. “Haley and I made our decisions. It was never anyone else’s problem, and it is most certainly not your fault.”

Reid wasn’t convinced.

“I don’t want to be alone right now,” he blurted out. “That’s why I’m taking you to the house. Because I can’t be alone and I need to feel like I’m doing something to help someone otherwise, what is the point in all of this?”

“This is about what the unsub said, isn’t it?”

They hadn’t had a conversation like this in so long. Not since before Hankel, his brain supplied.

“It’s true though, isn’t it? I failed to help Elle. I failed to help you, and Jason and Haley and god knows who else,” he said.

Spencer looked at him, chin tilted “You said: Haley and I made our decisions. It was never anyone else’s problem, and it is most certainly not your fault. How is this any different?”

Hotch sighed. “I had a responsibility to the other members of my team because I am meant to be their leader. You, on the other hand, are still just a kid, who has no connection whatsoever to my marriage.”

“I may be young, but I am in no way a child. And no, I didn’t have any connection to your marriage but I still don’t get your point. Elle and Gideon made their decisions of their own free will and there is nothing anyone could’ve done to stop them because when somebody is that determined to do something, they will always find a way.”

They’d pulled into the driveway. Hotch still hadn’t adjusted to the curtains still being open, for everyone to see and it took a moment to adjust to the darkness. The porch light hadn’t been on for a while, yet it was still a shock to the system. Haley’s light was just another thing he had taken for granted.

“When did you get so smart?” Hotch whispered. In some ways, he felt like he had watched as Spencer had grown from the new agent, doubting his worth and his abilities, to the slightly more confident that he had a family man that was now sat next to him. He hoped Spencer never lost his softness, or the things that made him the person he was, for there was nothing sadder.

“Hotch, I’ve always been smart. When Gideon returned after Boston, you introduced me as your expert on everything and then I told the man we were interviewing that I have an IQ of 187.”

“Never change Spencer.”

“I wouldn’t know how.”

There was a short silence.

“Would you stay the night?” Hotch asked.

“I thought that was what you wanted.”

“It is. But I want this to be your decision. If you’d rather be alone, then I will take you to your apartment and we’ll never speak about it again.”

They sat for a few minutes, and Hotch resisted the urge to tell Spencer to hurry up.

“I think I’ll stay the night,” he finally decided, voice small.

Hotch breathed a sigh of relief, not even caring that the house was still littered with small traces of Haley and the life they had spent together.

The two of them ate in relative silence, and then Hotch set them both up in the living room. He wanted- needed- to keep an eye on Spencer, but he told him that when Haley and him bought their first apartment and started living together, they would camp out in the living room because there was nobody to tell them not to.

He left out the part where it was also because Aaron had never really been allowed to sit wherever he wanted and do whatever he felt like.

There was some old documentary about the Russian Revolution in the background. Spencer had fallen asleep, his head in Hotch’s lap. Without even realising, Hotch had started stroking his hair, much like he used to do for Jack.

The light in the living room was on, and not once did Spencer wake. Hotch made them both breakfast- pancakes, because the look of joy when he said he probably had all the ingredients was not one he wanted to destroy- and Spencer gave him a genuine smile.

Neither of them spoke of it again, but Hotch felt a little lighter. A little bit more like the Aaron Haley had fallen in love with again. Maybe he couldn’t save everyone, but he saved Spencer, and even if it was only a little, and well after he should’ve, at least he had done it.

That would be enough to keep the darkness out, if only for a little bit.

Megan Kane died and Aaron- not Hotch, because Hotch would say that you can’t take cases personally, no matter how much you wanted to, held her hand. He held her hand as she said thank you for staying and not leaving. He didn’t have the words to tell her that he didn’t walk away for selfish reasons. Because he couldn’t have her considering him to be the same as the other men she’d killed.

Not after everything she’d done. The chip was safely tucked away in his pocket, just waiting to be passed on.

Even when her chest stopped rising, he refused to let go, only doing so when the police kicked the already open door to her room in, guns raised. When they stepped onto the balcony, he dropped her hand, watching as it fell limply. He didn’t know how long he had been sat there, but it was long enough for the body to go cold.

“Agent Hotchner. We need you to provide a statement. You were the only person present when she died,” the lead detective said.

Aaron stood, suddenly so angry at everything and everyone. “She took the pills and gave me the card. And then she asked me to stay so I did. Then she died. What more do you need than that?”

He didn’t want to tell them what she’d said. It was stupid, but it felt private.

He stormed out the room before they could respond and stepped into the elevator with a heavy heart.

Both Dave and Emily tried to make him feel better the whole way home. It was all to no avail. Their attempts to comfort him went over like a lead balloon. The only indication he’d even heard them was the slight clench of his jaw and his adamant stare out the window, his report on the table, only the first sentence written. When Dave tried to crack a joke, Hotch glared and he backed off.

Emily sat by him. Whilst her general presence usually never failed to make him feel a little better, it was just irritating him. He didn’t want to talk to any of them. He didn’t want them walking on eggshells. He wanted them to just leave him.

But then he felt bad. Because the one person he wanted had made it abundantly clear that she didn’t want anything to do with his job, and the rest were just trying to be there for him and that should’ve been enough for him.

When they got to the office, he did something he’d only done a few times before. He put the files on his desk and then he exited it. He needed to see his son. He needed to go to his real home- because now Haley was living in the house, it felt like a home again.

Haley had responded to his message about coming by with a simple: Ok. He still felt wrong profiling her, so he didn’t.

She had changed the locks. He didn’t have the key. And so he was stood there, awkwardly waiting for her to open the door whilst he rubbed circles with his thumb over the spot where his wedding ring had previously been. The tan line had all but faded. He felt pathetic for still reaching for it sometimes.

She opened the door. “There’s a birthday party that he’s been excited about for- you’re wearing a case suit.”

“I’m- what?”

She frowned. “Why are you wearing a case suit?”

“A case suit?”

“Yes. There are suits that you would only ever wear when you were on a case because they could be washed a lot more easily, and if you got blood on them, well you weren’t attached to them. How were you not aware of this?”

“I guess it was a subconscious thing. Look, we just landed but I-” he saw Jack peeking his head around the door.

On reflex, he crouched down. He remembered how he had felt when he was younger and his father would come storming in, towering over him, terrifying and threatening. He never wanted Jack to feel like that. And so he knelt down, burying his head in Jack’s neck for a moment before letting go.

“Hi buddy. How are you feeling?”

Jack stopped smiling. “I accidentally made mommy annoyed because I drew on the wall. But then she said that sometimes people feel bad emotions and that’s okay, you just need to be good about it. And then once we cleaned it up, she said that I’m not a bad kid, I just did a wrong thing.”

Hotch felt tears prick the back of his eyes. Haley was so good. Too good.

“She’s right. One act doesn’t determine who you are,” he said, voice cracking.

“Jack, mommy and daddy need to go and talk in the kitchen, so just stay in the living room, okay?”

Jack nodded.

Hotch followed Haley, noticing the last photo that was taken of the three of them before the divorce- although at the time nobody knew- was still stuck to the fridge.

“Tell me what happened,” she whispered.

Aaron turned away. “That’s not your job anymore.”

“Baby,” she said.

He closed his eyes. When was the last time somebody had called him that?

“I know what I said then. Trust me, there’s no way I could ever forget. But I was wrong. This is who you are. And I never should’ve asked you to change. I think the divorce was the best thing for both of us, because it was needed. But I still love you. And I know you won’t tell the team. So tell me.”

And he did. He told her everything. “The worst part is, she was right. I should be here every week, but Jack’s lucky if I’m here every fortnight. Haley, I always said I didn’t want to become a father because of how he hurt me. What kind of father am I if Jack is going to say the same thing?”

For a while Haley did not speak. They were just stood, a good six feet between them. And then she threw her arms around him. The force of her touch threw him off balance. When was the last time anyone had actually touched him? If he was struggling to remember, then it must’ve been far too long.

The smell of her shampoo felt like coming home and before he knew what was happening, he could taste the salt of his tears.

She stroked his hair and he relaxed into the touch, despite all the knots. He had always hated brushing his hair but loved when Haley would run her hands through it. She messed it up as he sobbed into her shoulder, and not for the first time, she wondered how many more times he could stare into the depths of depravity and come back whole.

Although, she thought to herself bitterly, he’d never been given the chance to be whole in the first place.

At some point, they’d started sitting on the kitchen floor. She was still playing with his hair.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “For everything.”

“You don’t need to be. And I will spend the rest of my life convincing you of that.”

Aaron looked at her with such love in his eyes that she could not resist the urge to press a soft kiss to his forehead before tugging him closer.

“Sleep here. I’ll take Jack to the party, and you can rest. Do that paperwork that’s in your office. And maybe tomorrow, we can all go for ice cream.”

His eyes widened. They were so soft and warm that Haley had never understood how he managed to glare at anyone. Apart from the people that had offered their sympathies at his father’s funeral, despite fully well knowing the truth.

“Really?”

“Yeah Aaron. Really. Now go upstairs and rest. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

She was, and it was like she had burst into his life in an explosion of light all over again.

Then George Foyet took that light and snuffed it out.

Haley once said she would die before Aaron hurt another person the way his father had hurt him. She said it because her death was so unlikely. It was an event that they knew would one day occur, but they never really thought about it. Though it was morbid, Aaron’s death was the one they had to prepare for. He was the one charging after dangerous criminals on a weekly basis. Haley was teaching.

Nothing bad was ever supposed to happen to her because he had promised, with everything he was, that he would keep her safe and that the horrors of his job would never touch her.

But he hadn’t been quick enough.

And now she was dead.

George Foyet had surrendered. He had surrendered willingly and without coercion, but Hotch hadn’t listened. He had carried on, even though his duty was to stop. To carry out a lawful arrest. But he hadn’t. He had carried on hitting a man that would not have been able to defend himself. Deep down he knew that was unfair to say. Foyet was taunting him by saying he was giving up.

Still, his knuckles ached. Morgan had pulled him off the body and he hadn’t been able to look. He couldn’t do it. So many things had already been destroyed by him. There was already so much blood on his hands, if he looked at Foyet he would never recover.

He was worse than his father. At least his father was a human. At least his father had never touched Sean. His father had never- to his knowledge- even attempted to beat his mother to death. But he had. He had beaten a man to death, and the worst part was, he would do it all again.

He would do it again because at least Jack was alive. Scared and confused, but alive. Hotch knew that if Jack had been the one to die, then he wouldn’t be here. He would’ve let Foyet kill him and vanish, as selfish as it was, because a life without his son was not one he wanted to live. After he found Haley, he knew he needed to consider the worst scenario: that Jack had not understood.

When Foyet told him that he would find Jack and show him his dead parents, something in him found the strength to survive. If Foyet was saying he would find Jack, then that would mean that he hadn’t already done so. Which meant Jack must’ve understood and was just waiting for his dad to come find him.

It was when Jack told him about how he had worked the case that the knowledge that Haley was dead hit him like a tonne of bricks. The first time he had found him, Jack had ran out and told his Mom what him and Daddy were doing together. Haley had smiled fondly before coming into the room, staring out the window instead of the desk.

Hotch had told her it was just a budget report. She looked down and did indeed see the budget sheet. But under that was the profile for a man who had recently lost his wife and was going after blonde mothers that resembled her.

There was blood all over his shirt and hands. Jack didn’t need to see that. The part of his brain not occupied with Haley knew that JJ was the best person for him to be with. She was good with children and had dealt with enough children of victims to know what to say and what to avoid.

Victims. Because that was what Haley had become. A victim of a serial killer and it was all his fault.

If he had just been quicker. If he had taken the deal. If he had transferred when Haley asked him to. They probably would have still ended up divorcing, but she would be alive. Jack would have a real parent. One that could look at him without turning away. Haley’s blood was on his hands, and every time he looked at Jack, he saw her. Because Jack had his mother’s light hair and kind eyes.

The day Aaron died- and god that couldn’t come fast enough- would be the day that the last piece of his father finally left the earth.

Haley’s hair was dark. That was the first thing he noticed when he saw her, lying on the ground. He’d heard people say that when someone died, you could kid yourself into thinking that they were just sleeping because they would look so peaceful.

Haley’s mouth was a thin line. She smiled when she was sleeping. Her clothes were not the ones she would have picked herself. Her eyes were still open. Aaron hated that she died alone and afraid. That should’ve been him. And her hair was dark. He cursed himself for being surprised. Of course it was dark. She’d gone into WitSec.

It just felt like a visual representation of everything he’d taken from her. Her light and innocence had been destroyed and it was all his fault. He hadn’t even told her Sam Kassmeyer was dead, which was such a stupid thing to fixate on, but anything to take away from the fact that she was gone.

When he pulled her limp, unmoving body towards him, needing to feel her against him one more time, she was still a little warm and he almost vomited right there. How close had they been that she wasn’t cold? He didn’t let go till Emily gently touched her shoulder, leading him away from the body.

The team were shielding him from the various people that had responded to the scene and if he had more energy, he would say thank you. But he was tired. And his hands hurt so much. They were still trembling.

Jack leant into his touch like it was nothing and Hotch marvelled at the fact that he seemed to adjust like it was nothing. He knew it was because he didn’t understand, but after everything that had been lost that day- two lives, a piece of Aaron, a place that was once home, the brightest light he’d ever met, Jack’s chance for a normal life- it felt like a win.

Before he knew it, the funeral was being held. He’d planned his eulogy, writing it whilst watching Jack because he couldn’t sleep without seeing the steady rise and fall of his son’s chest. There were a hundred different copies in the bin. How was he supposed to get up in front of everyone that looked to him and expected him to lead, and talk about Haley had made him feel safe?

Attending Haley’s funeral hurt more than either of his parents had. He wasn’t sure if that made him a terrible person. But when his father had died, he’d been relieved. Not happy, but maybe a little grateful. And when his mother had died, Haley had been stood next to him, her grip on his hand grounding him.

This time, she was the one in the ground. And the only person grounding him was a little boy, so much like Sean- not quite understanding, but aware enough to know the person they loved wasn’t coming home.

He held it together through his speech. Jessica gave him a soft smile before she took his place, reciting her own eulogy. Haley’s mother wasn’t able to attend because she was too unwell so her father recited both their speeches, voice cracking and tears streaming down his face.

It showed just how broken he was. No self-respecting Southern man would ever be able to shed tears that freely.

“Thank you for saying something,” Jessica said to him when they were all sat down. The team were far away enough to not hear, and he suspected that was why she had finally spoken to him.

“Jessie, this is all my fault. It was the least I could do. And I promise, I will spend the rest of my life making this up to you. To all of you.”

She let out a watery laugh. “Jessie. It’s been so long since you’ve called me that. Aar, I don’t blame you. I can’t. Because you did everything you could. I know that. And I heard you up there. You loved her. But you didn’t kill her. In fact, she’d kill me if I suggested such a thing. So forgive yourself. The rest of us have.”

“Jessica, why would you say something like that?” Roy shouted.

Jess flinched, unaware that her father had overheard everything.

Aaron shrunk down in his seat, unable to meet Roy’s eyes.

“You got my daughter killed. I trusted you. Even when nobody else did, when everybody said only bad things happened where Aaron Hotchner got involved, I trusted you. And when those people blamed you for what happened to your mother, I defended you. Because I knew you were a good man that would keep my daughter safe.”

“Dad, now is not the time,” Jessica said quietly.

“Yes it is! Yes. It is. My baby is dead, and it is all your fault. You promised me this would never happen. You swore. When your marriage died, I thought to myself: these things happen. They were young when they fell in love, perhaps they just grew up. But this- everything that has happened today? That’s on you. This is your fault. I wish it was you in the ground!”

Hotch flinched. “Roy, I-”

“It’s Mr Brooks to you now Hotchner. I treated you like a son. I- Haley did everything for you. Why weren’t you fast enough?”

And wasn’t that the million dollar question? Why had he not been fast enough?

“Dad, I know you are angry, but Aaron is not the person to be taking it out on! Just because he’s here and it is convenient does not make it right. Haley loved him until the very last moment. Shouldn’t that be enough to be good to him?”

Aaron just wanted everyone to stop shouting.

“She didn’t love him at the very last moment! How could she, after everything he put her through?”

“It is Hotchner going on the gravestone, not Brooks,” Jessica snapped.

Both Roy and Aaron stared at her. Neither of them had known about that, and she immediately paled, as though she’d revealed something she wasn’t meant to.

“What?” Roy spat.

“Haley called mom in the middle of the night in a panic. Said that if, somehow, this Foyet managed to find them, or if something happened, she wanted Hotchner to be on her gravestone because she loved Aaron.”

Roy’s hands were clenched at his sides and Aaron swallowed, subconsciously bracing himself for the blow that never came.

“I won’t do that to you. Ever. You may not be my son anymore, but I still would not harm you.”

Hotch exhaled, but Roy walked away before he could say anything. And the team got called away on a case.

“Did she really say that?” he asked Jessica, when it was just the two of them and their mugs of coffee. Jack had gone to sleep.

Jessica tore her gaze away from the carpet. Derek had done an incredible job of making it seem like nothing happened, but she now knew better and the thought of what had gone down made her sick. She wished she could convince Aaron to move, but she knew it would never work.

“Jess?”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah. She did. I was going to say something to you earlier but it completely slipped my mind. I hope that’s okay with you.”

He nodded. Of course it would be okay with him. Whatever Haley had wanted from him, he would give her. It would be too little too late, but it would still be something. Maybe it would lead to Roy’s forgiveness.

It was that line of reasoning that led to him almost accepting retirement, because what else was he meant to do? But then Jessica had offered to take Jack, saying it was the least she could do and that it wouldn’t be any trouble and he had been confused.

The gravestone hadn’t been placed yet, but he still knew where she was buried. That surprised him, because now that he thought about it, he couldn’t really remember the actual funeral. He just remembered Roy’s words. Aaron found himself talking to the air in a way he never had before, and by the time Dave found him, he’d made his decision.

Jack needed a father that could teach him how to move on and be happy. Aaron needed the team to be happy. Jessica had given her blessing, and maybe it was psychological, but everything felt a little warmer after he told his best friend that Haley already knew.

It didn’t mean he was confident that he was making the right choice. It was ridiculous, but he was terrified of how the team would respond. What if they thought he was making the wrong choice?

But on his first day in the office, they all treated him normally. Like nothing had changed. And for that, he was grateful. Emily was- as always- the only one aside from Dave with the self-destructive streak to make a comment.

Although it wasn’t the one he’d been expecting.

“I’m glad you came back,” she told him as he packed up his things to go.

There was a look in her eyes that told him she was being genuine. Her approval, deep down, meant more to him than everyone else’s, including Dave. For her to come in and say that she was happy he was there and leading the team meant more to him than he would ever be able to say. It also showed how far they had come. She had gone from insulting him every other sentence to wanting him around. He had gone from not trusting her to only being able to tell her the truth about what had really happened in his apartment.

“Thank you for letting me,” he said. If she had wanted it, she could have taken his job, no question. She wouldn’t- Derek was obviously the next Unit Chief- but she could have.

She smiled. “You keep us all safe, Aaron. How could I not?”

Emily’s hair was dark. As were her eyes. And there was a darkness that surrounded her in a similar way to him. He wasn’t sure where it came from. But she had learnt to live with hers. She had turned it into something beautiful that made people love her.

Perhaps he could do the same. Perhaps the darkness was something to welcome, not fear.

Emily Prentiss died, alone and cold, three times in one night. She died once when she told Derek Morgan to let her go because she genuinely believed Ian Doyle was still there, just waiting to hurt the people that had become her family. She flatlined in the ambulance, and Aaron had to watch as they frantically tried to revive her.

They succeeded in doing so, but at what cost?

She died a third time when Hotch had to make the decision as to whether or not she stayed. He wanted to scream at the bureau and say that it couldn’t be left to him because it was Emily’s life and if she wanted to stay and fight then she should.

But they would interpret his screaming and pleading as weakness. They would use it to deem him incapable of impartiality and then he would never know what happened. So instead of crying the way he wanted to, he kept his face neutral and argued all the reasons that Agent Prentiss- not Emily, not now- needed to be sent away and saved.

They went for it, and the prosecutor within him should have been proud. But it wasn’t. He was just tired.

Emily did not know that he had been in the ambulance and seen her die. She didn’t know that she had told him, whilst she was fading in and out of consciousness, about the darkness that she had seen and the chill that had come over her when she realised that she was dying or that he knew she wanted to believe in a better ending.

But Aaron did. It was why he found it so difficult to tell her what was happening. But he was already asking too much of JJ. JJ who was supposed to be a liaison for the state department and nothing more. But there was a haunted look in her eyes, and he so desperately wanted to comfort her, but there just wasn’t time.

He needed to save Emily before it was too late. Or maybe it already was too late. Maybe she would have survived if his own darkness hadn’t joined hers. Maybe if he’d been quicker in getting JJ or working out what had happened.

The moment he saw his own smiling face staring up at him, he should have known what was happening. But he hadn’t. And now yet another person’s blood was on his hands. When would it end? When would the people he loved stop being hurt by a darkness that should have only ever destroyed him?

His father once said the only thing he was good at was destroying beautiful things. Aaron had so desperately wanted to prove him wrong that he only succeeded in proving him right. Emily Prentiss had once been beautiful and good. One of the strongest and most resilient women he knew.

Hotch wasn’t stupid. He saw the way JJ looked at her. That was the other reason he had to be the one to tell her. Because he had seen Jason in the aftermath of the Boston bombing and Elle after she shot the rapist. He knew what Spencer’s anger and Derek’s fear looked like. He had seen the worst of each of his team members and never faltered because their darkness was nothing compared to his.

The Emily laying on that bed, broken and damaged beyond what any normal person should have been able to survive, was not the Emily they knew and Hotch was not going to let it be the Emily that JJ would remember. He would let JJ go with her to Paris because she would be stronger then.

That would be the Emily she would remember.

“Emily? Can you hear me?” he asked as quietly as he could.

She turned slightly, but even that small movement seemed to cause her pain. She opened her mouth to speak and winced.

“Don’t talk. You’re still too weak to do that. I just, I need to tell you what’s going to happen, okay? Because a lot of things are going to change and I want you to know exactly how this is going to play out.”

His hands were shoved in his pockets. One of them needed to be strong and pretend that everything was going to be okay, and it sure as hell couldn’t be her. But she saw and tried to motion to him. He shook his head. Soon she would be leaving him, and he did not want to remember her touch as being cold and almost lifeless. He wanted to remember her touch as being warm and comforting.

Without looking at her, he told her how they were sending her to Paris. His voice did not tremble and he did not break but he couldn’t face her when he was done talking. Instead, he stared at the floor and focused on the white tiles.

“I hate you,” she whispered. “How can you do this to me? I do not want to be sent to Paris whilst everyone else tries to deal with this.”

“Em. I’m trying to do the right thing,” he pleaded. He couldn’t have her hating him. Not after everything that had happened between them, and certainly not everything they had both done to gain the others trust.

“The right thing would have been to let me die,” she hissed.

He closed his eyes and it was only a few days earlier. He had told Clyde Easter that if anything happened to her, he would destroy him. The knowledge that he could do it without even flinching should have terrified him, but it didn’t. In some morbid way, it relaxed him.

When he turned his back, the knowledge that he had disarmed the other man bought him more joy than it should have, and again he was reminded of how thin the line between profiler and unsub really was.

“Mr Hotchner,” Clyde had called out.

Hotch had frozen, hands clenched at his side. How many years had it been since someone last called him that? And yet he still couldn’t hear the title without thinking of his father. He was an adult now, the man shouldn’t have held that influence over him but he was still terrified and he hated himself for it.

He’d turned, just enough so he could see Clyde’s face.

“I did my part. If she dies, that’s on you.”

And it was. It was all his fault. She had trusted him to keep them safe, but he had failed. Again. He had destroyed her, just like he had destroyed so many other good people. He didn’t deserve to be a coward anymore, so he looked up and met her eyes.

Weak and damaged as she was, she still managed to glare with a hatred he had only ever seen once. When she had been a college student, arguing with her mother. And he’d been both terrified and relieved to see that she could be so ruthless. Terrified because to him, she was just a girl and she shouldn’t have known how to hate like that, but relieved because he wasn’t the only one with such potential for darkness inside.

He left without another word. JJ had comforted Reid and Garcia because he had been too busy throwing up the single bite of sandwich he’d managed to choke down. And he knew something had happened to her whilst she was working for the Pentagon. He knew she wouldn’t be able to stay.

It was why he let her take Emily to Paris. He didn’t tell her what Emily had said to him. He just told her to ask if she could remember anything from the hospital. He spent the entire time waiting for her to respond. He was talking to Dave when there was a text from JJ. All it said was she doesn’t remember anything she said.

And it became slightly easier to breathe.

The funeral was difficult.

First thing in the morning, he had dropped Jack off with Jessica. Jack did not know it was a funeral that his father was attending, and so he was quite content to just sit in the living room and play with his toys whilst Aaron and Jessica stood in the hallway, talking in hushed whispers.

“Don’t you think he should go?” she had asked.

Hotch shook his head. “No. He already went to Haley’s. I can’t take him to Emily’s.”

“But he should be able to say goodbye to her.”

“Jessie, please. I can’t tell you why, but he can’t go to the funeral and I swear, as soon as I can, I will tell you everything but he just- I need him to not be there.”

She stared at him. “Aaron, you never need to beg for anything from me. I don’t know what’s going on, but whatever it is, you’ll be fine. I promise.”

Jessica didn’t understand that him and JJ were the only one that knew the coffin was empty. It was the second coffin in a year that Aaron was forced to stand beside. When did it end? When would the members of his team stop losing the people they loved?

Ashley Seaver was a child and he never should have let her stay on the team after that first case. She was meant to be a training agent, who was supposed to believe that her job would make a difference and protect people from a life like the one she had been forced to live. And yet here she was, stood at the grave of a team member whilst the rest fell apart. Hotch wanted her to remain good and hopeful, but he just didn’t know how to do that.

In some ways, he resented JJ. She was able to go back to the Pentagon and get away from the looks of her coworkers. She didn’t have to look out of her office and see the empty table that had once been Emily’s, nor did she have to go through the drawers of her desk and decide what would be kept and what would be thrown.

Aaron ended up keeping everything in a box at his apartment because he didn’t have the heart to throw anything away. Not when Emily wasn’t really dead, even though her photo was still hung up outside.

He needed to talk to someone, but there was nobody. So, he ran off to Afghanistan for three months working on a project he didn’t fully understand or see the point in. The guilt at leaving his team and Jack only slightly overshadowed the relief he had that nobody looked at him and seeked comfort. They just needed him to do a job.

Everybody else had grieved losing Emily. JJ had her closure for making sure she was settled in Paris, and from what Hotch could understand, she had been pushing the boundary as much as she could regarding the no communication rule. The team had each other, but he had nobody.

Then Ian Doyle died, and Emily Prentiss came back to them, but he didn’t come back to the team. Not really. For Derek was able to forgive Emily for what she did because the relief he felt at her return was enough to overpower his anger at her. Dave had suspected the whole time. Spencer was just glad that he hadn’t lost someone else, and that JJ had also been returned to them.

They could forgive JJ because it had never been her decision to leave them. They could forgive Emily because of everything she had been through and because she had no say in what was done to her.

It was Hotch that had failed to stop the move from happening. It was him that had made the decision to fake Emily’s death and not tell the team. He had chosen to leave them, and his son, for the summer. Yes, it was unfair to blame him, and it was likely his hands had been tied, but they were angry. They needed someone to direct that anger towards.

Every time they snapped at JJ or Emily, it felt like kicking a puppy for they would just look so hurt and upset that they immediately wanted to apologise. But if they shouted at Aaron, he would just take it. He wouldn’t argue or defend himself. He just took it, the ghosts behind his eyes not ones they could acknowledge in the moment.

He maintained his façade and pretended everything was okay because if he wasn’t okay, the team would have no use for him and he would become dispensable and there would be nothing left for him. Except for Jack. But he wasn’t sure how much he wanted Jack to see him. Since Emily’s return, his nightmares had gotten worse and he woke up screaming more times than he cared to admit.

And then one night, when Jack was staying with his cousins and grandfather, the nightmares got so bad that he barely managed to make it to the bathroom before he was vomiting up the meagre dinner he’d eaten.

When there was nothing left, he leant against the bathtub and sobbed. His own team hated him and there was nothing he could do because they were right. He didn’t trust them and he had fucked up so badly there was no redemption for him.

Jessica hadn’t been able to sleep. She had let herself into the apartment to see how Aaron was because there was a pit in her stomach, like something was terribly wrong.

“Aaron?” she called out.

There was no response, which on the one hand could have been a good thing because it would mean he was sleeping, but it could also mean he was refusing to speak to anyone. She wasn’t an idiot. When Emily had come to see Jack after that hearing thing because she needed something good, Aaron told her the truth. And then lied by saying he was fine after carrying that burden around himself.

The bedroom was empty. She told herself it didn’t mean anything, that he could just be in the shower or getting a glass of water. She crept along to the bathroom. Inside, he was vomiting and she knew it would eventually turn into sobs.

Without considering what she was doing, she dialled Derek Morgan’s number. He’d given it to her at the funeral and asked her to keep him safe. She had done her job as his sister, and now it was time for his team to their job as his family.

“Jessica?”

“Aaron’s sick and I think it’s your fault,” she said without thinking.

“Excuse me?”

“Oh god, no, not like that. I just- he’s being sick and I know that it’s because he’s been bottling everything up since the funeral which wasn’t really a funeral but oh, you know what I mean. I just- nothing I do will make him feel better. He needs you. All of you.”

On the other side of the line, Derek scoffed. “Jessica, Hotch is strong. Are you sure he’s not just got food poisoning or something?”

“I don’t think he’s eaten enough for that to happen.”

“Look Jessica, I’ll get the team together but I don’t know what you want us to do. Hotch made his decisions, and we can’t forgive him at the drop of a hat. We all need time to process.”

“Derek! He lost his wife to this job, are you really going to stand by as he loses himself trying to save all of you? I have never asked for anything from any of you, but Aaron needs you now. He’s just too scared of rejection to admit it.”

“We’ll be there as soon as we can.”

Morgan hung up and Jessica sighed.

“Jessie?” Aaron called out.

“Hey Aaron. What happened?” she asked, acting like nothing had happened.

“I don’t feel good,” he whispered.

She pressed a hand to his stomach. Damn him and his emotional constipation that meant all of his pain manifested physically.

“I know. I know. But it’s okay. It’s all going to be okay. I’ll get you cleaned up and then you’re going to eat something.”

He nodded and let her move him around as she pleased. The weight he had lost made her cringe. The last time he had looked so weak, he was seventeen and his father was dying of lung cancer.

The team all arrived at the same time, all in their pyjamas.

Aaron saw them and turned away. “Jessie, what are they doing here?”

“You need them Aaron. Whether you want to admit it or not, you need them.”

He shook his head as the medication Jessica had made him take after weeks of avoidance caused his filter to vanish and fuzziness as to what he was doing. “Don’t deserve them.”

“Yeah you do man. I’m sorry for how I was acting. I know you trust us and I never thought about how everything must have made you feel because I was angry,” Derek said.

Hotch shook his head, tears running down his cheeks.

“Can I hug you?” Derek asked.

Hotch didn’t respond, so Derek sat in front of him instead. “You’re forgiven Hotch. I promise.”

Hotch just stared but relaxed ever so slightly and didn’t protest when the other members of the team gave him small smiles or hugged him.

And the next day, they spoke to him, not as a boss, but as their friend. For the first time in a while, he felt like he was back where he belonged. Things weren’t perfect- they never were- but he no longer felt like the villain in his own story.

He felt like he was worthy of a small amount of love, which meant the darkness had not won. Not completely.

There were cases that were difficult. There were cases that made him want to quit, or curl into a ball and forget about how the outside world existed and was constantly hurt innocent people that didn’t deserve it. And there were cases that he knew would haunt him until the day he died.

Watching Jimmy lose his fight, the one thing that kept him going, just so he would be able to see his son one last time was something he would keep seeing every time he closed his eyes. He didn’t want to think about how he was the first one to realise that was what he wanted.

The team had all been waiting in various places, and he knew it wasn’t really what he was supposed to be doing, but when he looked into the man’s eyes, he saw a desperate father. And he thought of Jack. If it were Jack, he would do whatever it took to see him one last time. He deserved to see his son. And his son deserved a father.

Because when he looked at Jimmy he did not see the unsub his team had been after. He saw a broken and damaged man that was doing what it took to survive. Under normal circumstances, he’d been frightened by that but so much had happened that he almost felt desensitised when it came to relating to unsubs. His hands still went cold at the sight of every crime scene he visited. The bureau therapist would say the fact that he clung to that feeling both at home and in the field was unhealthy, but the bureau therapist had also deemed Jason, Elle, Spencer, himself and Emily fit for work after their respective ordeals.

“This isn’t a trick is it? Because you’re a federal agent, this isn’t your job,” he said.

“I’m a father first. And your son is holding on so he can say goodbye to you. I’m not so heartless that I would deprive you of a goodbye.”

He pressed a hand to his mouth. “He’s really going to- I can’t even bring myself to say the word. Am I a horrible person for not being here sooner?”

Hotch still blamed himself for not being there when his mother died. “No. No you did your best and you cannot think like that. I promise, when it came to your son, you have done nothing wrong. I’ll give you some privacy.” He hated to add the second part but he had to. “And I don’t want to, but you must understand-”

“I broke the law and you need to arrest me. I know. That’s fine. Everything will be fine because you have let me say goodbye to my baby.”

Aaron watched them through the window, a single tear coursing down his cheek as that was all he would allow himself until he made it home.

Sometimes, it was not the cases that made him question the reason behind doing any of this, but these moments where there was nothing that anyone could have done. They spent so much time putting bad guys away, and for what? The universe to just throw other tragedies in people’s faces.

Ryan closed his eyes at the same time that Aaron looked away. The raw grief both parents were feeling was something personal. He already felt like an intruder. He saw the man comfort his wife, who’s sobs had died down to silent tears as she placed a final kiss to her boy’s forehead.

They comforted each other.

Aaron wondered what would have happened if he hadn’t saved Jack from George Foyet. If he would still be alive now, or if he would have just let Foyet kill him because a life without Jack was not one he was capable of surviving. He wondered if Haley had survived instead, would they have been able to comfort each other, or would she blame him for the loss of her son? If Jack hadn’t survived, Hotch did not want to think of what his response would have been because the darkness of it scared him.

No parent should ever have to bury their child, and no child should ever have to be that strong for their parent. He admired Ryan for holding on for as long as he did, but he shouldn’t have had to. He should have been playing games with the other children and worrying about his favourite cartoon characters, not how many breaths he had left.

He stood outside for longer than he should have and he was gentler with the handcuffs than he ever remembered being. The last words he whispered were an apology that Jimmy did not want. Before he returned to the hotel, he stopped to see his wife.

“I’m so sorry,” he said. “And if I knew what to say, I would. But I don’t so please, just, find a reason to hold on. Anything.”

“Agent Hotchner, you gave my son the one thing he wanted. A chance to say goodbye to both his parents. That has to be enough for now.” She hugged him and was polite enough to not comment on how his own body shook with the tears he was unable to repress.

He gave her his card, and then he left her, alone, to process her losses.

On board the jet, he sat slightly apart from the rest of them, which they all took as their cue to leave him alone. Emily Prentiss had never liked listening to him, and so she took the seat opposite him. Hotch had to smile. That was the woman he knew. Not the one that was overcompensating for everything.

“I made you a cup of tea,” she said to him.

Hotch looked down at the mug and grimaced slightly.

“Jason did the same thing after the case with the serial arsonist. Do you remember? He was trying to get me to open up about how I related to the unsub.”

“Did you?”

Hotch shook his head, then hesitated. “Well, I suppose I did a little. He wasn’t really paying attention.”

Emily made a non-committal sound at that. “Look I’m here if you want to talk about it.”

He shook his head. “No. I can’t. Ryan just- he didn’t even look like Jack, but when I saw him, I just- they were a normal couple. They didn’t deserve to lose him like that.”

“Nobody deserves to lose someone they love that much like that. But they do. And we can’t stop that. What we can do is stop the bad guys who hurt other people and we do, whenever we can. Please don’t beat yourself up over this.”

He understood what she was saying, but he couldn’t accept it. Haley had been too good for him, and he deserved to have everything good taken from him because he hadn’t been able to save her when it had been his fault that she was forced into that situation.

She smirked. “And Rossi may have mentioned a woman making her way into your life. Beth is it?”

Hotch rolled his eyes. “I knew I shouldn’t have said anything. And it is just a bike ride.”

“You should go. Even if nothing happens, training is better with a partner. And you won’t be betraying Haley. Or Jack. If this thing works out, it will be because Beth understands that Jack doesn’t want or need another mom.”

Hotch looked at her with soft eyes. “Yeah. Maybe I should go.”

He did, and it was such a success that they ended up going on more than one date. She was excited to meet Jack, and they both loved each other. Even the team, who were always weary of potential partners, seemed to accept her as one of their own.

It momentarily convinced him that love could survive the horrors of their job.

The sound of the gun that Diane Turner shot herself and Maeve Donovan with sounded louder than even the three shots he had heard over the phone when George Foyet took Haley from him. His ear started ringing. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Alex close hers and lower her gun.

What had been thinking? Alex had already lost a son, and every case put the one she had just found at risk. Even now, she had the sense to look away. He was still holding his gun like there was something he could do.

Before he was aware of his actions, he had dropped it. Something that he always told people not to do, especially if the safety was off because you just couldn’t guarantee anything. The sound it made as it hit the ground was still nothing compared to Spencer’s sobbing.

Reid was on his knees, eyes closed as though that would stop him from seeing Maeve’s dead body, both her and Diane’s forming a pool around them. It would be another funeral for him to attend. It wasn’t fair. Reid was still just a kid compared to the rest of them, he didn’t deserve to see all the things he had been subjected to.

Hotch knelt beside him. “Reid?” he whispered, keeping his voice as soft as quiet as he could.

Reid shook his head. “It’s my fault. I should’ve done something. There were so many different endings to this series of events and at least half of them involved Maeve living and me dying, which is something everyone could have learnt to live with.”

“Spencer. That isn’t true,” he said, a lot more firmly.

Spencer’s sobs had calmed to hiccups. “It wasn’t supposed to be her.”

“I know,” he said, and he wrapped his arms around him. He felt Reid go limp against him as more sobs wracked his body. Reid was resting his head on Hotch’s shoulder and on instinct, he felt himself stroke the younger one’s hair, the same way he did to Jack when the little one couldn’t sleep.

He knew that grief caused people to go numb. When Reid pulled away, he kept one hand on his arm to stop him from being an idiot. Only Alex was still there, hovering by the side lines. The others had gone to stop the police from coming in too soon. They were giving Spencer the space to process.

Hotch wished they hadn’t. Jason and Emily were the ones that Reid turned to when he needed something. And if not them, then Derek and maybe JJ. But Jason and Emily were gone and Derek and JJ were dealing with other things.

And he was the only one who’s partner had ever been murdered by an unsub. He just didn’t know how to provide comfort. He didn’t know how he was supposed to tell Spencer that everything was going to be fun and he would recover because the truth was that he would never be the same. Aaron still wasn’t the same. It wasn’t possible, but sometimes his lower torso still ached the same way it had when Foyet first pushed the knife in. He wouldn’t lie to Spencer, but he couldn’t tell him the truth.

“I need- I never got to hold her. I need to hold her. Hotch let me go! I need to hold her, just once. Just once so I can remember her.”

The last time Hotch touched Haley, she was barely warm, but still lifeless. It overshadowed every single casual touch they’d shared since they were seventeen and it was all he could ever think of when he remembered her. He would give anything to forget the last time he held her.

Perhaps one day he would. But Spencer had an eidetic memory.

“I can’t let you do that,” he said.

Spencer shoved him. He wasn’t strong enough to knock him over, but Hotch hadn’t been expecting it and he lost his balance slightly. They both looked down at Reid’s hands. Reid looked at them like he couldn’t believe they were part of his body. Hotch looked down at how pure they were.

Reid had killed unsubs when it was the only way to save other people, but he was still innocent in so many other ways. He’d never hit the table to intimidate a suspect because that was Hotch’s job. He was the one that played bad cop, whilst they trusted Reid to successfully empathise.

Reid had never killed a man with their bare hands.

Hotch momentarily let go of Reid, and Reid tried to use that opportunity to grab Maeve’s hand. But Hotch was quicker, and before Spencer knew what was going on, Hotch had grabbed both his wrists and was holding them in front of his chest.

Both their eyes shone with tears.

“Let me go,” Spencer begged.

“No. Spencer listen to me. You don’t want your one and only memory of her touch to be when she couldn’t respond. You know better than me that she is going to be unresponsive. You won’t be able to kid yourself into thinking that she did indeed clasp your hand. Her perfume will be tinged with the stench of blood and she will be cold. Remember Maeve as the woman that made you smile. That was warm and bright. Not like this.”

Spencer relaxed against him, the tears falling. Hotch pulled him closer, holding him tight. At some point, Alex crept forward and gave the two of them a hug. She told them they needed to go. Reid shook his head. Between the two of them, they managed to get him down the stairs.

“I want to go to my apartment,” Reid stated after they took his statement. Hotch had sat with him the whole time. Reid’s monotony scared him and he wondered if the look on the officer’s face was the same as the one that been on Strauss’ after he spoke about Foyet.

“Spence,” JJ said, reaching for him.

“My apartment. Please. Hotch?”

Hotch knew why Reid had asked for it to be him. Because if he declined, Reid could come after him. Say that when Haley died, leaving behind a young son whose memories of his father were patchy and disrupted, Hotch had refused to stay with anyone. Instead, he had sat in the darkness of his apartment in case the monsters from Jack’s dreams came to life once more.

“If you need anything,” he said with a sigh, because he was the only one that understood.

Spencer nodded. But Hotch knew he wouldn’t.

They drove in silence. Hotch itched to say something but what? He understood what it was like to lose the one person that made your life better, but at the end of the day, he hadn’t been there. He had heard it over the phone. Spencer would see the images every time he closed his eyes.

“Would you like me to come up with you?” he asked.

Reid shook his head, exited the car but did not close the door.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t quick enough,” Hotch mumbled.

Reid’s pause meant he heard him. His lack of response meant he didn’t have any words of comfort that would not be lies. Perhaps that hurt more than Jessica’s sad smile when he got him and distractedly ruffled Jack’s hair, unable to focus on what he was saying properly.

He’d made the right decision in not letting Spencer touch the body. He knew he had. It didn’t stop him from wrapping Jack up in the coat Haley had picked and going to her grave. He knew Jack was missing his mom, so the trip served a dual purpose.

Jack liked to lay flowers at the graves that didn’t have any because- in his words- it would mean everyone would be as happy as his mommy was. As he did that, Hotch spoke.

“I didn’t let him touch her. I need to convince myself that was the right thing, but what if it wasn’t? I have years of touches to hold onto. He had never met her before then. What if one day, he wakes up and resents me because he can’t even imagine what she feels like?”

If Haley were alive, she would rub his shoulder and tell him he was a good man that needed to stop doubting every decision he made because he knew his team better than they knew themselves and that Reid would never hate him.

Be annoyed at him for specific things he did and lash out because he was in the wrong, yes. But hate him? Never.

Only Haley wasn’t alive. Hotch sighed, called Jack over and hesitated slightly when Jack held his hand out. Hours before, he had been holding a gun, ready to fire. He hadn’t been fast enough, and now another piece of Spencer had been lost to the abyss.

When Spencer didn’t return to work immediately, he was relieved. At least he was taking the time he needed to grieve and recover instead of rushing back and never dealing with the pain until it got so bad he could hardly breathe without holding back a sob.

He turned up on their case. Everyone else was excited to see him, because it meant he was alive. Hotch wasn’t so sure. Reid had never known anything other than the BAU, and that was partially his fault for not putting his foot down and telling Gideon the kid needed more experience before working as a profiler.

But there were people that needed saving, so he let it go.

And then he heard Spencer tell Dave how he wasn’t sleeping because he kept seeing Maeve asking him to dance but he had never been able to touch her. It was like a punch to the gut. Spencer had never touched Maeve because Hotch had told him not to, and now he was paying the price.

He didn’t hear Dave’s response. He used that moment to tell Alex he needed the bathroom. She seemed slightly taken aback but shifted out the way for him.

When Spencer came in after that, he seemed peaceful. He had danced with Maeve. Now, even though it wasn’t real, he had his closure because he’d been able to touch her, which was all he had wanted. Maybe it had something to do with being touch-starved.

Hotch thought of Haley. What would he give to see her one last time? Just to say he was sorry?

He was telling the team about a missing girl, but it was getting harder to breathe, and he couldn’t make out what the screen in front of him was displaying.

Before he knew what was happening, the world around him was going black and the frantic shouts of his team were not enough to bring him back.

When he opened his eyes, he saw her.

“Haley?” he whispered.

She looked beautiful. Her dress shone, and her hair was the same blonde it had been the day she’d gone into witness protection. She looked like the girl that had exploded into his life and taught him how to say I love you. That had taught him the meaning of light and who had changed his life forever.

“Hi baby,” she said with a grin.

He smiled. His light had come back to him.

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