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orbital-inclination · 1 year

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“WHAT I NEVER TOLD YOU”

Part 1, part 2 (you are here).

Summary: Dream wakes up in a strange place. His host seems kind enough, but there's something about her home that feels… off. He will need to leave if he wants to reunite with his brother. Later, Dream and Nightmare have a conversation to finish. Notes: Moltendreams!AU. Set some time after the brothers left Dreamtale during a time when they were still unfamiliar with the multiverse. General warnings for: dreamtale typical angst/drama, mild non-graphic injury, more references to past emotional manipulation and bullying, and parental neglect Wordcount: 6178

Something was wrong.

Dream stirred. He felt sluggish and weighed down. Pulled closer to the earth by the gentle press of the something that was draped over him. There was a soft surface underneath his cheek, it didn’t itch like grass, and it didn’t crackle like dry leaves when he moved. It took an embarrassing amount of time for his mind to make sense of that, trying and failing to justify why the ground he lay on didn’t feel right. He lifted his skull slowly, rubbing his cheek against the soft surface until the texture slotted a memory into place. This felt like... a stuffed quilt? He pulled an arm free from where it had been tucked close to his body and felt along the surface he lay on. The tip of a claw caught on something. Yep. Definitely a quilt. He could feel the cotton sandwiched between layers of fabric and the stitch between squares. That didn’t immediately alarm him, because his first assumption was that Night’ must’ve found a way to cross the river and found a place for them to stay.

But... that explanation didn’t feel right. He couldn’t sense his brother nearby. The atmosphere was too... stifled. Syrupy, and thick. He almost felt loopy from it. Something wasn’t right.

Tentatively prodding around the quilt, and the surface he lay on, he discovered something else weird.

He was laying underneath... a table?

Reluctantly, Dream pushed himself upright— only to swallow back a strangled hiss as a pulse of pain and stiffness shot down his spine. Usually, the film that coated his bones took care of most things that caused him pain fairly quickly. He remembered slamming into the boulder, but he would have expected the injury to be gone by now. But, obviously, it wasn’t. Not good.

After waiting a moment, he tentatively propped himself upright again. This time, he moved slowly.

He had just enough room to rest on his elbows, slightly hunched over to avoid smacking the back of his skull on the surface above him. He mapped the space through touch and concluded that no. It was not a table. He was underneath someone’s bed. And it was a fairly large bed at that.

He was boxed in. The bed was shoved into the corner, which cut off two potential exits. One end was blocked off by what he thought might be a chest. And whoever had set him up underneath the bed, had sealed the last opening with- oh. Oh, that was a teddy bear. They had sealed the last opening with plushies and cardboard boxes. Dream pulled the bear closer and gave it a squeeze, thinking. If the person who’d brought him here wanted to keep him trapped, they weren’t trying too hard. But... why put him under the bed? He didn’t feel like much of a guest, hidden away like this.

The hinges of a door creaked. Dream stilled. He hunched down, the tendrils on his back arching defensively. A hollow, tapping sound. A box was shifted, dragged across the floor slowly, and- “Oh! You’re awake!”

The voice belonged to someone who sounded roughly his age, maybe a little bit younger. Dream’s first impression of her was that she felt very bright. Or rather very warm, and it was a testament to how saturated this place was that he could only sense her clearly when she was this close.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. Uh, I’m Noelle. I’m sure this must be confusing for you but you’re in my room right now. I found you by the river bank. You were unconsciously so…”

She did something, moved a certain way, but he couldn’t tell what she was doing.

He hesitated for too long. Disappointed chipped at her warmth, cooling it. But the difference was slight. “I… um-“

“Why am I under your bed?”

Embarrassment. “Oh! W-well… my mom doesn’t like to have guests over unexpectedly but it seemed like you really needed help. I couldn’t leave you on the river bank like that! That area floods a lot.”

Dream canted his skull to the side. “So you’re hiding me from your mother?”

The embarrassment worsened. Made bitter-sour by shame and nervousness. “I know it sounds really, really silly but… if you knew my mother, it would make sense.”

Well, it didn’t make sense to Dream now. Weren’t mothers supposed to be loving or something? The closest thing he had to a mother was Nim, but he hadn’t had a relationship with her. Not really. She had been a presence. A thing that was just sort of there, but didn’t do much. She said things, sometimes. But it was like an echo of a memory with no mind behind it.

“Are you a human or a monster?” He asked because sometimes that made a difference in these things. Surprise, confusion, and the sharp tang of incredulity. “Um. I’m obviously not a human? I’m a reindeer monster??” He gave her a moment. “Oh,” she said. “Oh. I... I didn’t realize. You can’t see me, can you?” Dream shook his head. “Where is my brother?” “Your... brother?” He tensed, and a pang of uneasiness shot through his chest and squeezed. “We were separated crossing the river. He was supposed to find me. How long have I been unconscious?”

“I... I don’t know. You were alone and unconscious when I found you. That was hours ago.“ Dream didn’t like that. Had something happened to Nightmare? The tendrils on his back lashed. “I need to get back to the river. He could be there right now.” “No! You can’t!”

He flinched away from her, soul beating fast.

Noelle swallowed. “I… I mean. It’s dark out now. Mom doesn’t allow me to leave the house after dark.”

Right. Because that was a thing mothers did. Nim had also given him and Nightmare rules to follow. Just two. And they had disobeyed both. “That’s okay. You don’t have to come with me. Just let me out and I’ll find my way.”

Noelle was quiet for a long moment. “I can’t.”

“Why not?” He shifted, trying to show her that she had his full attention. And she did, but he was getting anxious now. He needed to reunite with his brother. He needed to apologize and know that he was okay and that nothing bad had happened to him. Something about this place didn’t feel right. Something was just off enough that he didn’t feel comfortable staying here longer than he had to be.

She didn’t reply. At that moment, a new sound interrupted the silence. A sharp rhythmic clicking. It grew steadily louder. Footsteps.

Noelle squeaked. “That’s my mother. I have to go. Don’t make any noise, okay?” The box was pushed back into place and the bed creaked above him.

Dream lowered himself flat to the ground. He held his tentacles still, coiled close to his body. Was this normal? When Nim had been alive, had everyone been this nervous around her?

Seconds later, the footsteps stopped short. A creak, quiet at first. A whine. The hinges of the door protesting. And then, silence. Absolute silence.

Above him, Noelle’s nerves jumped and startled like rabbits. She seemed to be holding herself still as carefully as he was. Breath held. Waiting.

As the silence stretched, a chill crept down his spine.

He shivered. Trying to make sense of the new taste to the magic pouring into the room. The stifling syrup-like nature of it hadn’t changed. If positivity was sweet like honey, then it was as though someone had dumped a box of salt into the jar. Something spoiled here. Something had been left to sit for too long.

All the warmth had gone. The weight of it settled in slowly. It was blunt. And cold, not unlike fear. But many emotions could be cold, could turn cold, if given the right incentive. If Nightmare were here, he could tell Dream what it was. And how fear could feel so... hollowed out.

...oh.

Apathy, Dream realized as another shiver worked its way through his bones. This was apathy. Not the absence of emotion, but the rejection of it. He pulled his limbs closer to his body. As though to hide the warmth there, like cupping his hands around the wick of a candle to shelter it from a draft.

Nightmare hid his feelings behind apathy sometimes. And it was frightening, to witness his twin severe himself from his own feelings. It made something in his chest squeeze painfully. But the cold he felt from his brother was familiar and comforting in a way. This was not.

This magic… the person it belonged to… he could not imagine magic so oppressive would belong to a monster who felt freely able to express themselves. The weight of this magic did not belong to a tolerant person. It belonged to someone who felt they needed to be in control of everything, or the twisted thing deep within their heart would snap.

Without warning the door creaked again and shut with a final click.

Noelle waited a while to speak, listening for the sound of her mother’s footsteps to fade. When she did, she whispered. “That was a close one. We have to be careful to be quiet from now on.”

“Is she always like that?”

“… my mother doesn’t like to be disturbed,” Noelle answered. “I like to collect scary things. VHS tapes, books, cassettes. Everything. But if I’m too loud, if I’m too excited or too scared she’ll force me to turn it off or take it away from me... and I just… I just wanted this one thing for myself, y’know?”

Dream felt something in his ribcage hitch.

She slid off the bed, onto the floor, and moved next to him.

“Does she know you’re unhappy here?” Noelle froze. Stuttered a noise of denial as something within her heart squirmed. Dream had his answer. “You don’t want her to know.” “Hahaha... I don’t know what you’re talking about. Why would I be unhappy? I mean... I have to hide things sometimes but... I live in a nice place. I... I like my town! I have my own room, my mom, my dad... why would I be unhappy?” “I don’t know,” Dream whispered. “I gave my village everything they ever wanted. Did everything they asked of me... but in the end, I don’t think anyone was truly happy.” Least of all himself, but to give that thought a voice felt selfish. What right did he have to complain, when his brother had gone through so much worse?

The shame and guilt were unbearable, suddenly. A sickly cold sank into the pit of his soul. He swallowed thickly, mana clotted in his throat, because how had he not seen the full extent his brother had been suffering? How had he not known? How had he not seen it?

He thought back to every bad day he could remember. Every question he asked that was brushed off. His brother’s stubborn silence. How tightly Nightmare would square his shoulders and turn away. And all those times Dream knew his brother was upset but felt he shouldn’t pry or chose not to. Prying would aggravate his brother and it was his purpose to spread positivity, wasn’t it? What good would it do to make Nightmare even more upset?

He wished… he wished he had tried anyway. Instead of waiting and fruitlessly holding on to the belief that Nightmare would eventually tell him on his own. When he was ready. If Dream was patient enough and did as he was told.

How naive he’d been. If hiding pain under a facade of irritability was a skill then Nightmare had surely mastered it. Dream learned not to talk about certain things and especially not to express those feelings that were cold or black and didn’t belong on his side of the tree.

He learned that quickly because it seemed to him whenever he expressed frustration or sadness or gave even the slightest hint that he was feeling anxious or stressed, someone would turn around and find a reason to blame the black apples for it. “Taint,” they’d warn, “you must stay pure of heart. It is in your brother’s nature to be cold, just as it’s yours to be kind and warm. You mustn’t allow him to influence you.”

“I think...” Dream began slowly, forcing his claws to unclench, buried so deeply into the quilt he lay on, he felt the wood underneath splitter. He forced himself to relax. Noelle needed his help right now. “I think you and your mother are not communicating something important. You are both scared. And because of that fear, you hide things from each other.” “It’s not that! She just overreacts, sometimes... when she thinks I’ve been hurt.” Her heart and mood quivered. She was sad and lonely and trying so hard to hide it. “She just wants to protect me.”

“But it hurts, doesn’t it? Her protectiveness is smothering. It threatens the things you care about.” Noelle swallowed. He heard it, underneath something that sounded like a strained laugh. “T-that’s silly! She’s my mother, I can trust her with anything.”

“Anything but the monster you’re keeping under your bed.” “I...” a flicker, and the strange denseness to the magic surrounding them rippled. Shame was the stone thrown into the murky pool. “If you truly felt that way, you wouldn’t have kept me here. You would have asked her for help but you didn’t,” Dream pressed, voice gentle but firm. “In your loneliness, you wanted to carve out a piece of happiness for yourself. But Noelle… you can’t keep me. I don’t belong here. I can’t make you happy.”

Noelle made a soft sound. Her voice cracked. “I wanted to make a decision on my own for once! I know she means well, and I... I’m too nervous to confront her. I feel powerless. But then I saw you on the river bank, it was different. I felt inspired? It was weird I...”

A pause and a strange dizziness overcame her. He shifted in concern, debating whether or not he needed to move closer in case she toppled over.

“I felt special. I knew I wanted to be your friend. No... I knew I had to be because… I couldn’t shake the feeling that I already knew who you were.”

“Friends don’t force each other to stay where they don’t want to be.”

The slight bite to his tone snapped Noelle out of her daze. He felt the snap, the sharp lick of regret, and could not tell who it belonged to. “I… I know. I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. It… it felt right at the time,” Noelle struggled for a moment. “I can’t… remember? There was something else but I don’t…”

Uneasiness swept through him. The tendrils he'd looped close to the quilt reared up warily, twisting over themselves in heed of his discomfort but unable to find the source.

“… what do you mean ‘it felt right’ ?”

“I can’t explain it. It just did, y’know? It was like one of those moments in a book when the world seems to pivot and the heroine realizes what she was meant to do.”

A shiver crawled down his spine. “Did you feel compelled to help me?”

“T-that’s a strange question. It’s what anyone would have done, isn’t it?”

He had nothing to say to that. Maybe. One would hope. But the situation still felt odd. She wanted to help him but didn’t want him to leave until he confronted her about it. It left a strange taste in his mouth.

“Will you let me up now?” He asked instead.

“Yes!” Noelle scrambled back and shoved boxes and plushies aside. One rolled over a tentacle so Dream grabbed it and set it next to the teddy bear he’d held earlier. There was a thump, as something that sounded like a book fell, and suddenly, it was just a little bit less stuffy underneath the bed. Dream felt along the edge of the bed frame above him and carefully crawled out. A sharp pain shot his spine as he stood, but he swallowed the hiss of pain in his throat and it faded, after a moment.

The floorboards creaked underfoot. Noelle shifted her weight, a dim but growing cold spot of nervousness. “What happened? Between you and your village, I mean.” His soul skipped a beat. “I don’t know,” He didn’t want to talk about it, and he especially didn't want to talk about himself. “We left.” “Oh.” A pause and she said quietly. “Dess talked about moving to the city. She wanted to take me with her to explore the city together. Leaving without her doesn’t feel right, I don’t think I’m ready yet but, maybe someday.” And Dream thought about the tree and his brother. He vividly remembered climbing the hill, running, and the dry grass lashing at his hands and clothes. The voices shouting to be heard over the rumble of approaching thunder. His brother, cornered against the trunk—

“You... you’re not going to encourage me to talk to her?”

“You know your mother better than I,” he said, and distantly wished he could blink away the memory. Over and over again, it looped. “I never went to my brother with my problems because I didn’t want him to think less of me... I regret that now.” Nightmare thought poorly of him anyway. So it hadn’t mattered. “But I was never afraid of my brother. Not in the same way you seem to be of her.”

“I’m not... afraid of my mother,” Noelle said somewhat hesitantly. “It’s just hard to talk to her. She doesn’t like to be interrupted and... the town is more important.” “Is it?” Bitterness dripped from his teeth. Hot in his mouth. Sometimes, it was easy to doubt himself. When he stole anger like a thief, he could only assume the villager elders had been right. He should have been more careful around the tree. But the branches sprouted from the same trunk. Black or gold, the apples came from the place, so there must have been something rotten in his soul from the start.

Noelle startled. A skipped beat. And Dream took a breath. “You are part of the town too, aren’t you? Why are you excluded from the same care?”

“I…” she swallowed, overwhelmed by too many emotions to name at once. Most of them leaned close to sadness. “I never thought of it that way… you-you’re right. I’m part of this town too and… I don’t know if she’ll hear me out, but I’ll try. At the very least I have to look after myself better.”

Dream nodded, and the bitter, writhing thing in his chest settled. He wished he had looked after his twin better. “Don’t smother your loneliness.”

“I won’t,” And then added somewhat hesitantly. “Do you still want to leave?”

She felt sad. Sadness was heavy and sank deep throughout one’s heart. It had the flavor of ice, without the bite of cold and he felt it as deeply as if it were his own. But, it didn’t make sense for the feeling to be this strong. Why did she want to be his friend so badly?

… he didn’t want to stay for much longer.

“I can’t stay. I have to find my brother. I’m sure he’s worried, and I’m worried about him too.”

To his relief, she understood. “We’ll have to be quiet. I’m… actually surprised mom wasn’t woken up by all that.”

Noelle meekly suggested he take her hand so he wouldn't get lost. The cabin was huge, apparently. Dream offered a compromise and held on to the corner of her sleeve instead.

She led him to the door and into the hall beyond it. They walked, stopped to listen, took a turn, and then another. Dream kept one tendril on the wall to keep himself oriented, making note of the changing texture and the stray accent table that came out of nowhere. Someone ought to put bells on those things.

Eventually, the wall ended. The sound of their footsteps changed and every breath and rustle of fabric echoed cavernously.

He only knew when Noelle took him behind a sofa because he bumped his knee into it. She directed him to a wall (it was made of skinned logs fitted together like the pieces of a puzzle with something that felt like coarse hardened clay holding it all together. Dream withdrew his hand quickly when he felt a cobweb. Spiders worked so hard on their nests.) and then to a windowsill. “All the doors and windows squeak but this one— it's a bay window. It swings open on your right— it’s the quietest. The sill is meant for sitting... um, do you need help climbing up?” He shook his head and easily pulled himself up onto the windowsill. He’d climbed trees all his life. This was nothing.

“Okay. On the count to three. One. Two. Three.” The window whined, loudly. Dream flinched and next to him, he felt Noelle jump. Her soul lurching in a half second of fright. They waited a long moment, breath held, but aside from the muffled sound of a nearby tree scratching the roof, the cabin was still.

“You better go now. Mom could’ve heard that,” Noelle said, the focus of her attention elsewhere. Dream tried to follow it, but he couldn’t figure out what she was focusing on. “I never asked for your name, did I..? That… that doesn't make sense. I really did just.. bring a stranger into my house like that.”

Dream nodded. “You could have picked a worse person to sneak into your house. My name is Dream, by the way. Thank you for your hospitality.”

“Y-you're welcome?” Sometimes, it was possible to hear someone growing pale. By the sound of her voice, he imagined her face had lost all its color. “I’m sorry for involving you in this and basically kidnapping you? Oh-my-stars. I kidnapped you!”

“Hardly. I was unconscious and too close to the river bank. But you did try to keep me here,” he added, but she was already very stressed and it was making him stressed, so he hastily continued. “It’s okay. I forgive you. I don’t think you were in your right mind anyway. Will you be okay with your mother?”

“Y-yes. I think so. I mean, it's just…” she sighed. “It’s complicated. But dad is here too, so. I’ll ask him for help if I think I need it.”

Her voice was warm again, and it was slight, but for a moment, he almost couldn’t taste the sickly quality to the magic surrounding the cabin. “Thank you. I feel better now. I hope you can find your brother.”

He nodded, and murmured a thank you and goodbye because leaving someone’s home was always somewhat awkward. He turned, swung his legs over the ledge, and dropped down.

Leaves and grit crunched under his feet. He waited a moment. Just to be sure. He canted his skull toward the window, listening, then he picked a direction that felt right, and started walking.

Gradually, the ground began to dip into a shallow slope, and though he could not hear the river yet, Dream knew he was close. The ground was damp, soaked through either from rain or because of its proximity to the river. He stepped through the underbrush carefully, mindful of the way his boots sank into cold mud.

The forest floor was a knotted mass of roots, rotting leaf litter, and moss. Twice, Dream almost tripped. So he spread his tentacles wide, two held wide and arching, level with his skull so he wouldn't walk headlong into a low-hanging branch. And two low to the ground, so he wouldn’t trip again.

A quiet crunch echoed from somewhere in the undergrowth. Dream paused, angled his skull towards the sound, and held his breath because the atmosphere felt cooler and less stifled in this direction.

“...Nightmare?”

“Dream!” The shout back was immediate. His ribcage hitched. He took three quick steps forward and broke into a run. He heard the snap of a twig underfoot and the branches of a bush part. Pure relief washed over him. Cool and warm at once. The weight of his brother’s magic was unmistakable.

The rough bark of a tree snagged his tunic and he stumbled.

Two hands caught his shoulders. Dream redirected his balance and quickly latched onto his brother’s sleeve. Nightmare was not hurt, he could immediately tell. Worried and stressed, yes, but not hurt. Thank the heavens.

“Are you alright? What happened?” A sharp lick of concern. “You’re in pain.” Nightmare’s grip tightened for a moment. Dream felt one check, then two, as his brother looked him over.

He shot one back, just to make a point. He was too relieved to be truly bothered by the fussing.

“That’s from the river. It’s better than it was. I’m fine.” and honesty? So much had happened in the last however-many-hours-it’d-been he hadn’t noticed the ache until Nightmare had pointed it out. “The family that found me was kind. They didn’t hurt me.” Nightmare released him and stepped back. “Stars... I should never have led you across. We should have waited for the river to level. Or for the rapids to settle or-”

Dream shook his head. “We had to cross somewhere. I could’ve just as easily warned you it was a bad idea. But I was…” too upset. Too consumed by hurt and frustration to really consider what it meant when the sound of the river had grown so violent. If he had just stopped to think. If he hadn’t lashed out...

The tight feeling returned to his chest.

“I’m sorry.” he choked. “I shouldn’t have said what I did. I didn’t mean it. I was angry.“

“No, I…” Nightmare took a breath. “I should be the one apologizing. It was reckless to cross the river right there. I snapped at you. I hurt you. I knew better, but I didn’t care. I’m sorry.”

Nightmare didn’t... apologize often. He meant it sincerely when he did, but it was just the sort of thing his brother struggled with. Dream forced his jaw to unlock, he wasn’t angry. He was as tense as a spring, but he wasn’t angry. Not with his brother. He didn’t need to feel Nightmare’s remorse to know how much he meant it.

“But you were right… I wasn’t… I wasn’t there when you needed me. I prioritized the needs of the village over you. I saw how sad and lonely you were and still I... the why of it doesn’t matter now.”

“How could you not?” His magic was cool, a shallow pool of shade. His actions seemed logical to his brother. And that made it worse. Dream ducked his skull, feeling wretched. “They gave us clothes and attention. A purpose when Nim felt more like a ghost than the Goddess they later insisted she was. How were we supposed to interpret her will when her voice had been gutted and theirs spoke louder?”

He nodded, once and didn’t raise his head. ‘-it is in your brother’s nature to be cold.’ and Nim’s voice had always felt like the echo of a memory to him, not really there at all. He wondered, idly if they had ever really heard her.

“We never heard contradictory ideas, did we? You were the only one who questioned anything.”

“I only questioned them because of the way they treated me.” Nightmare said bitterly. “We have books to thank for that. I knew what I was experiencing was unjust, but I couldn’t articulate why until I began reading. That village was full of hypocrites.”

Dream nodded again, heart pinched tight by a dark emotion he couldn’t name but was altogether painful. “They were scared of you.”

His brother was quiet for a moment, not quite seething but close. “They resented me more than they feared me. I think I would have preferred fear. If they had been scared enough, they would have left me alone.” “Don’t say that,” Dream whispered. “Fear would have led to resentment anyway. They would’ve done worse.” “Worse,” Nightmare echoed, frigid and biting. “Do you know why I reached for the apple, Dream?” ‘Don’t...’ Dream wanted to say. ‘I already know why, please don’t say it.’ Words were stones and bile behind his teeth, he swallowed them down.

“I was convinced I was going to die.” the simmering anger that had gradually been building behind his brother’s heart suddenly evaporated, released in a deep breath. “If... if you hadn’t arrived when you did...” His voice tapered off. Neither of them wanted to hear the end of that sentence.

Guilt soured the silence. The pit of it gutted his brother. Dream looked up. The dark cold made his brother seem frail. It reminded him of the worst days. And the bitter rage he had felt when his brother had dismissed him now seemed like a pathetic response.

“I’m sorry. What I said to you was cruel.” “It was,” Nightmare said, voice quiet. Dream flinched despite knowing the truth of it. He had hurt his brother. And he had said what he did knowing that it would. “You were right. I did reach for the apple first. I didn’t have a choice, in the moment, I truly believe that. But I... I regret what happened afterward. Dream, it’s because of me that you…”

His brother didn’t finish.

“That I… what?” He hasn’t meant it… as a warning. His voice sounded hollow even to his own mind. He wasn’t even sure what he was warning his brother not to say. But something was balanced, precariously on a knife’s edge. And it was tittering.

Dream felt his brother’s rapid pulse of guilt-anxiety thrum and Nightmare said, softly and carefully. Words chosen at length. “You were despondent for three days. I don’t think you realized we had left the village by then. You wouldn’t sit unless I told you to. You barely moved. And for a time, I worried that the dust might have stuck to your clothes or that somehow I’d missed it on mine and that was why—“

Oh. For a moment he thought Nightmare was going to bring up something else. (It wouldn’t surprise if his brother had wisely decided to change what he wanted to say at the last second.) He didn’t remember that. Something in his own chest sped up. Pounding hard. “Why would there be dust on our clothes?”

Nightmare went very still. “... why would there be— you don’t...”

Was he talking about the axe? “It only struck me once,” Dream said, and hoped that might be reassuring to remember.

He didn’t understand the emotion he felt in his brother’s stare. “Right…the woodsman’s axe,” Nightmare said, slowly, muttering to himself afterward in words Dream couldn’t catch.

The sound of a woodsman chopping wood on the edge of town had been the other reason why they’d left it so quickly. It did something to his soul that Dream didn’t have a word for. The sound made his chest hurt even though it’d been a long time since that wound had healed. It put Nightmare on edge too. Maybe thats why they’d been so short with each other.

Nightmare shook himself. “The river didn’t reopen something, did it?”

Dream snorted. His brother was such a mother hen sometimes. “It’s been years, Night’, I think we’re long past the risk of that.”

His brother clicked his teeth. “Do not overestimate the strength of newly healed bones.”

“The wound is hardly new now,” and then Dream frowned, and said quietly. “I don’t blame you, Night’. It wasn’t your fault. I said that because I was upset... but didn’t mean it.” But he could tell his brother didn’t believe him. Nightmare said nothing for a beat, and Dream tried and failed to think of something to say to prove to his brother that he meant it.

“It's not like you to lose your temper. Before we crossed the river, you were trying to tell me something but I interrupted you. What were you going to say?”

Oh. Maybe the conversation should have ended there. Dream shifted, uncomfortable. “It’s nothing.” “No,” Nightmare said, voice firm. And Dream could vividly imagine the frown on his face. “It’s not nothing. You are a difficult person to anger to that extent, Dream. I know I... said somethings that I shouldn’t have, just before... what were you going to say?” A part of him bristled. It was a small part, and he did his best to bury it. He knew though, as he felt Nightmare’s scrutiny intensify, that the attempt was pointless. He supposed it was a bit like trying to hide lightning. “... Earlier you told me I left you alone with the people who hated you. And you were right. I knew they distrusted you, I didn’t understand how deep it ran but even if I had, I... don't think any other outcome was possible for us.” He crossed his arms over his chest to hide the slight tremble in his hands and vainly hoped his brother didn’t notice that either. “I only did what I was told to, ‘Night. I thought I could make everyone happy. I thought I was being selfless by putting their needs—the needs of everyone above ours. But in the end, it never felt like a choice. I... I think I only succeeded in spreading selfishness.”

“I should have known,” Nightmare’s voice was hoarse and brittle. “I should have known... they used you too.”

The crunch of leaves. A step taken closer while Dream struggled to wrangle the writhing thing in his heart. His ribcage hitched. Used? He would’ve never called it that. He didn’t want to call it that. He couldn’t think of it that way because then he would have to acknowledge that the people he’d loved had not only lied but used him too and— he found himself wrapped up in a tight hug.

“I'm sorry. We didn’t look after each other very well, did we?”

It felt like there was a dam behind his sockets. Burning, burning. But the tears wouldn’t come. He hiccuped and buried his face in the collar of his brother’s shirt. The arms wrapped around him squeezed. There was no judgment, no mocking sneers or scoffs. No teasing. Just marrow-deep sympathy and a shared raw pain he didn’t think would ever truly go away.

“It’s okay, Dream. We’re going to be okay,” Nightmare whispered and Dream wanted to cry all over again but couldn’t. It didn’t feel okay. When has anything his brother gone through been okay? It seemed like nothing had been okay for a long time. He didn’t like feeling like this. But he allowed himself to be held and rocked until the thoughts of a place he could never return to slowly faded, and the shaking subsided.

When Dream felt... not quite calm, but tired and spent, he stepped back. Nightmare let his arms fall. “I think I can take us out of here now. Something changed just before I found you. I felt a shift... Did something happen with the family that found you?” Instead of answering, Dream nodded in, at least he hoped, the direction he came from. He was too tired to explain the strange magic he’d felt in Noelle’s house.

His brother was thoughtful for a pressing second, then said, gently. “Whatever you did, it helped. Let’s leave it at that and get out of here before anything else happens.” Dream agreed wholeheartedly. He hoped whenever they went next didn’t have a woodsman. “Do you think there is a world out there without a forest?”

The question startled a chuckle from his brother. “You want to go somewhere without trees?” He felt a palm press to his forehead. “Are you ill, brother? Do you have a fever, perhaps?”

Dream swatted his hand away. He was too tired to fight the small smile that pulled at the corners of his mouth. “Where there are no trees, there is no axe.” “I’ve read of places where there is sand instead of dirt, for as far as the eye can see, and grass refuses to grow there.” Now, he could believe that first part. After all, some river banks and dry creek beds were like that, but where grass will not grow? There was no way. “You’re lying. You’re making that up!”

Nightmare laughed and easily dodged his second attempt at smacking him. Cheater. “I don’t know when we’ll find such a place, but I promise one day I’ll take you there.”

“You read too much,” Dream commented, dryly. And if Nightmare wasn’t smiling, he was wearing an expression close to it. He reached for his brother’s hand, without hesitation this time. Nightmare took it, and in a blink, they left the forest and the AU behind.

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vampire-exgirlfriend · 6 months

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so youve talked about daemon. but what are your thoughts on alicent?

Here, have some unhinged Alicent meta, anon who obviously wants me to get beat up.

Where the fuck do I even start with Alicent Hightower?

So I actually do enjoy the changes from the book to the show, at least in the first half of season one. I think that the added intrigue and drama of having her and Rhaenyra be friends and contemporaries added a lot of good potential. I love the angle of that first forbidden love (that was actually Emily’s idea, not the show runners, so stop being weird about that, certain TB people). It added depth to her character and gave us a taste of how much she would change as the story unfolds. Young Alicent is a sad girl, but still a girl full of hope, who had dreams and a best friend that became her family. To a lot of people, she’s very relatable. She’s sassy (the gossip at the tourney will never not be one of my favorite scenes), she’s smart, she works hard to learn and to impress those around her. And then, when tragedy strikes, she’s pulled away from Rhaenyra, the person she wanted to comfort in the ways that Alicent had found comfort in when her own mother died, and essentially pimped out by her father to the king (we can have a separate conversation about the whole Laena thing, which I do actually view as very different from what Otto did with Alicent), sent in her dead mother’s clothes to a grown man’s rooms, alone, to “soothe his grief.” There is very little left to the imagination about what Otto intended with this (I pretty firmly believe that Viserys took her maidenhead the night before the announcement was made that he would marry her instead of Laena and that’s why Alicent is wearing the same dress and jewelry the next day).

So you have this fifteen year old girl, who was assaulted by a man she’s known all her life, the father of her best friend, and king of the realm. She’s rightfully terrified, she sees her life flashing before her eyes, she sees the implosion of the one friendship she really has. And honestly, the lead up to this is where Alicent loses me a bit. She is incredibly isolated, we see this. We see how she and Rhaenyra are held up as women with power, but powerless to do anything with it - it is power in name only. They are portrayed as each other's safe harbor in the storm. And I find myself asking ‘why didn’t Alicent go to Rhaenyra? Why didn’t she confide in her best friend about this, when that confiding would have the power to remove her from this situation, or at least, have her be less alone in it and have her best friend know what’s going on?’ Like we know, Alicent is a smart girl. So I will blame this one on the writing. Because it genuinely doesn’t compute to me. Yes, her father said “keep quiet.” Viserys said “keep quiet.” But, in a more real life scenario, would she have kept quiet? Especially before the guilt and shame of any sexual events (i.e assualt by the king) have happened and made the emotional spiral messier. I very much understand how sexual assault makes us clam up, and I, in no way, would ever shame or brow beat anyone for how they handle that. But what about the months before that happened? We are constantly shown how these girls share and gossip and spend all of their time together. It would have made sense for Alicent to be like "this is happening and I don't like it and I'm nervous." So, to me, this is more of a forced drama point to push the narrative along. It’s clunky and awkward and doesn’t make sense for the people that we now know Rhaenyra and Alicent to be.

It was the first moment where I was like “bad call, Alicent.” But I do think that this clunky narrative choice by the writers does play into the person that we see Alicent grow into, which is where she almost completely loses me.

Alicent Hightower is both victim and abuser. These are two things that can be true at one time, and I can be full of both sympathy for her plight and fury at the way she treats those around her. She has been isolated and preyed upon by her father, and assaulted and made to birth babies for a man who doesn’t care for her or for them. She has led a life of trauma, and it twisted her into something unrecognizable from the girl we met in episode one.

And she made Rhaenyra the center of that, the touchstone of her righteous rage.

She becomes fixated on the Velaryon boy’s lack of Valyrian features (which is an extension on the bad blood that grew between her and Rhaenyra when she found out that Rhaenyra and Criston slept together - do not come at me about which way the power dynamics skew in that situation). Why the show made the change to Rhaenys’ black hair and darker coloring will never fail to both astound and piss me off. This was meant to be vague. It was meant to not be able to be pinned down because those boys could have easily gotten their grandmother’s coloring. But whatever. Even still, Alicent’s treatment of Rhaenyra and Joffrey immediately after his birth is nothing short of fucking atrocious at best and abusive at worst. Even Laenor’s line of “haven’t we moved past this by now” shows us that this has been going on for the last eleven years.

That said, there are eleven years of missing pieces here. And we as the audience are left to interpret what could have gone on in that time. But to me, it looks like Alicent could not come to grips with the fact that Rhaenyra no longer saw her as someone that she could trust, that she could confide in. Rhaenyra took the omission of the fact that Alicent was spending time with Viserys (of her own volition or not, Rhaenyra has no idea, because Alicent kept it a secret, and we can’t look at that through the modern lens we want to. Because fifteen year old girls were married to men in their forties all the time, despicable as it is) and felt that it was the deathblow to their friendship, which further isolated them both.

We see that Alicent has become more pious over the years, which makes sense because 1) the Hightowers have a very deep connection to and relationship with the faith of the seven 2) she says in an early episode that the sept is where she goes to feel closer to her mother, and she is very much isolated at this point, needing that connection, and 3) it gives her a more tangible reason for her hatred for Rhaenyra’s children (more than just the show narrative idea of “hey, Alicent can’t get over a pseudo breakup with her childhood sort of girlfriend). In her mind, if the Valrayon boys are bastards, they are evil, and her faith backs up that train of thought. It gives her something to cleave to, something that substantiates all the feelings that she can’t make sense of but that feel awful. And while all of this is happening, she has Otto whispering “oh, Rhaenyra will certainly kill your sons should she come to the throne.”

Now, again, Alicent loses me here. Because Rhaenyra has never indicated that she would do that (or allow that, for those of you who want to say ‘Oh well Daemon…’ or ‘Oh well Corlys…’). Alicent has seen that, where her father is concerned, that she is “simply a piece to move about the board,” that he never had her best interest, or her children’s at heart, and still she chooses to believe that? So is it just weak writing, or is Alicent weak in this instance? And where does that piety stand when she is covering up the fact that her son raped a maid? She doesn’t hold Aegon responsible for the action, only for how it would reflect on the family. She is so quick to blame the Velaryon boys for the pig incident, when, on screen, it is very obvious to see that it was Aegon’s idea and he roped an eleven and a four year old into it. Even Viserys sees it. And when it’s brought to Rhaenyra’s attention, Rhaenyra extends the offer of a dragon egg to Aemond, as well as a betrothal between Jace and Helaena (jacelaena, my beloveds). Alicent, however, only tells Aegon that he can “cuff his brother about at home as he wishes” but that outside of their home, they must present a united front. I will say that I do believe that Alicent is doing everything she can to keep her family together, to keep them safe. She has never not been isolated. She is not a dragon, she is not a Targaryen, she holds absolutely no power. Do I think she did the right things? No. But I also don't think everything she did came from a hateful or evil place. No one taught this woman how to be a mother, no one taught her how to love her children without hurting them (metaphorically. She can catch these hands for the physical abuse she commits against Aegon. There is never an excuse for putting your hands on children).

Then we have Driftmark, an all around unfortunate situation. A dragon cannot be stolen, so I’m not even going to touch on that. But children who should have been in bed, watched by guards, weren’t, and the ensuing fight happened. Aemond lost an eye, everyone is corralled into the great hall and Jace tells Rhaenyra “he called us bastards.” I don’t think enough people understand the concept that bastardry in this instance can get you killed. Rhaenyra, the boys, Harwin, if he wasn’t already dead, could have lost their lives; it wasn’t just the crown or the throne at risk. And these are the words that Alicent is teaching her sons to use in regard to Rhaenyra and the Velaryon boys. Should the name calling have been the main focus of this? Absolutely not, a child had his eye cut out. Was it on purpose? No. Should it have been addressed? Yes, and Viserys fucking dropped the ball there, just the same way he had done for the entirety of his reign. But calling Jace and Luke bastards could cost them their lives. And I don’t think that twelve year old Aemond gets this. He doesn’t have that total understanding of it. But Alicent does. And she has been speaking these words, more loudly than she should, for over a decade at this point.

Aemond doesn't understand what he's saying in this moment, but every adult in that room does because of how bastardry is looked at within the realm. And not just for the treason of it, but because every woman in the realm worries about her husbands bastards usurping her children on claim (look at Cat Stark and Jon Snow). There’s no denying that Rhaeynra put her sons in a dangerous position (we can talk about her rights and wrongs in another post if anyone wants to). Alicent is not the only one who sees it, but right now she's the loudest, and that's where the possible hope to get someone else to talk about it would come in. Would it have just been easier had someone other than Alicent’s inner circle bought into the bastard rumors and forced the issue? Yeah. And to a certain degree, I think that's what she wanted.

So tldr Alicent drives me fucking crazy, in both good and bad ways. I think the time skip did her and Rhaenyra, both as individuals and together, a huge disservice, and we somehow ended up with whatever the fuck happened in episode 9 where all of a sudden Alicent was back to being team “we gotta save Rhaenyra.”

#alicent hightower #rhaenyra targaryen #house of the dragon #hotd

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typeonpaper · 2 years

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𝐦𝐢𝐦𝐢 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐭í𝐧𝐞𝐳 ; ʙᴇᴀᴄʜ ʜᴜᴛ ᴄᴏɴꜰᴇꜱꜱɪᴏɴᴀʟꜱ #3 !

are you happy with how the recoupling went for you? did you get your first choice?

“ super happy ! i was the first person picked at a recoupling again, which feels amazing, and just totally put my mind at ease about potentially going home. like that tight, anxious feeling in my stomach ? instantly gone, and for the rest of the recoupling i could just sit back and enjoy the drama... and there was a lot. i’m really happy luke chose me, because i do genuinely think there could be something there more than just that initial sexual chemistry. he’s so attentive to my needs, and he’s a great spooner... although after finding out spoon sex is his favourite position in that challenge, maybe we need to ease off on that a little... you know what they say — spooning leads to forking. ”

what was the biggest surprise of the recoupling for you?

“ layla is a god-damn pot stirrer, and honestly, i’m here for it. i kind of feel sorry for josh and naomi. it’s clear that they like each other, and they’ve already had so much drama ( oops ! ) but then layla’s gotta do what she’s gotta do. it’s not friend island. girl, you do your thang, step on those toes. i just find it really funny how josh pulled me for a chat and then we had this whole massive argument over the fact that he was gonna pick naomi over me and then he didn’t even get to pick her. karma’s a bitch, i guess. whatever, it’s not that deep. our shit’s in the past, now. move on dot org. ”

what do you think of the new bombshells, nana and leo? are either of them your type?

“ nana’s super cool — i already love her vibe — and i’m kinda glad she’s tall because that puts her out of the running for some of the short kings. like, obviously height shouldn’t matter, but some guys find it important that they can pick up the girl they’re with and swing her around, but it’s not just about the dudes. i could see romi or naomi maybe going for nana, y’know. leo’s a spice. i haven’t had a chance to talk to him yet, but he’s hot, for sure. when he walked in, i don’t think there was a single jaw in the villa that hadn’t dropped. looks-wise, i’d probably go for leo on the outside, yeah. he seems super smart and i do love guys with ambition, but at the same time, there has to be space in their life for me. whoever i end up with, it’s important to me that they know i’m ambitious, too. i don’t want to get invested in anyone looking for a suzie homemaker stay-at-home trophy-wife type while they’re off running a business. that was the good thing about josh ; he supported that ambitious side in me, and i could tell he’d push me to reach my potential on the outside. ”

who do you think they’re most likely to go for?

“ honestly, everyone thinks they’re going to go for each other, and while i could see that working — they absolutely smashed that challenge — i think nana and marcus could be a cute pairing, and i see leo working better with layla or charlotte. maybe enzo needs to step his game up. if leo was wise, he’d go for andrea. she’s had a tough time in here, and hasn’t really gelled with anyone aside from layla, but honestly, i’m still kinda routing for andrayla. i think they could go all the way. ”

and, finally, is there anyone in the villa outside of your couple that you’re still trying to get to know?

“ i’m not writing anyone off. i want to get to know everyone. leo and nana are going to shake things up, and i think it’s the change of pace that the villa needs. there are a few couples who were getting too comfortable before this last recoupling. luke and i are pretty fresh, but i reckon some of the other couples need to be tested. what better way to do that than throwing in two new smokin’ hot bombshells ? speaking of... naomi, luke, nana and now leo ? the bombshells this year really are bombshelling, and i don’t think there’s a single one of them who hasn’t caused a stir. ”

#⥂ mimi martínez. ╱ musings.#crackon:prompt

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hikarimiyanaga · 3 years

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Loving You (Wanda Maximoff/Reader)

Summary : The worst that could ever happen just happened to you.

You were a beta. Being an omega could’ve been better but no, God decided to fuck you up.

In a world, where Alphas and Omegas are considered the best, being a beta meant that you were just going to be an average person. Always in the middle.

People don’t look the same at you. You had potential. At the top of your classes, taking all of the AP Classes. Now, you doubt that even Colleges would consider you.

Ever since, Asami Sato has proven that even Omegas can change the world, people have been considering them as equal to Alphas… but never Betas. When has a Beta ever change the world?

So you shut up and hide from the world as you try to graduate and maybe get a job in your Family’s Company, R Firm.

But a chance encounter with a gorgeous Omega will change everything up.

Warnings : Omegaverse. Beta!Reader x Omega!Wanda Maximoff.

New series! After a month. College does seem to hate me that much.

You sigh as you trudge the halls of your high school. It was lunch break and almost everyone is in the cafeteria, obviously not you, though. You’ve been reading inside the library when Miss Danvers kicked you out, saying that she needs her lunch break too. You sigh and sit in front of your locker. You open up your book and begin reading.

Reading is one of the only things you could enjoy these days… you still remember the day you got your evaluation test.

You tremble as you stare at your test result. You were a beta. Tears spring up in your eyes but you quickly wipe them away. You could hear some people cry and some sniffle. You guess they were betas too.

“Y/LN?” You stop and turn to Janine Rivera, she was one of the juniors. A popular Omega who is in your AP English Class.

“Yes?”

“Do you want to-?” You stop and gulp. Janine cuts off herself and gets your test result. You don’t fight her because it’s better to just rip the band-aid off. She scoffs and shoves the result back to you. “Megan!” Another girl looks at Janine. “Cross off Y/LN! She’s a Beta!” She shouts and everyone quiets down. You take a deep breath and walk off. The murmurs then start. You feel tears again in your eyes and you wipe them away again.

You walk home because inside your school felt so suffocating. People were going home anyway to tell their families their evaluation result. As you stood in front of your house, you feel your stomach cave in. You’re afraid to face your parents. Your Alpha Mother would surely get angry. Even your Omega ma would look at you with disappointment. Your two Alpha sisters would get disgusted. Just imagining their reactions make you cry.

“Y/N?” Your sister, Alsie, gets out of her car and you cry even more. She quickly kneels besides you. “What’s wrong!?” You refuse to answer so she guides you inside. “Ma!?” Your Omega Mother, Dahlia rushes downstairs and gets to you.

“Y/N!? Are you okay?”

“M-ma.” You stutter and cry even more. Your other sister, Valerie, gets downstairs too and fusses over you. You faint and they panic even more.

When you came to your sense, you’re in the living room with your Alpha Mother, Zale, is hovering over you. She sighs in relief and shouts that you’re okay. She was about to leave and you bite your lip as you grab her arm.

“Mom.” You say weakly and Dahlia gives you a glass of water. You sit up and gulp it down in one go.

“What’s wrong, little one?” Zale asks gently and you try not to cry again. God, their gentle affections and kindness, will it go away once you tell them what you really are? That you’re just a Beta and not like them? Will they throw you out? Disown you? You take a deep breath and you look at them.

“I-I” You tremble and put the glass on the coffee table. “I’m a Beta.” You look down and clench your fists, waiting for their reply.

“Oh, Jesus, it was just her evaluation result.” You look up and see as your all of your family collectively sigh in relief.

“Damn it, Y/N, don’t scare us like that.”

“My little sister is a goddamn drama queen, who freaking guessed?” Zale slaps Valerie softly on her arm.

“Why were you so afraid, anak?”

“I thought you guys would get angry and disown me.” You sniffle and Dahlia quickly hushes you and hugs you.

“Y/N, little one, that doesn’t matter to us.”

“Dude, that’s like the least of our concerns.”

“Oh? What matters most then, Val?” Valerie glares at Alsie and look away. “Your potential mate, that girl call-“ Valerie screeches and attacks Alsie who dodges quickly. You laugh at their antics and everyone looks relieved at you. They hug you and you hug them back. Grateful that they accepted you.

You were just humming to a song that’s been stuck inside your head when someone calls out.

“Excuse me?” You look up and gulp. The girl looked stunning and words seem to be stuck in your mouth. It felt like everything around you was moving slowly.

“Y-yes?” God, human interaction was not a daily occurrence for you, people tended to avoid you like the plague in School and the house is quieter now that both Zale and Alsie are off to college. Both of your moms never push you to talk about anything and simply bonds with you through food and TV.

“Can you tell me where I would find this classroom?” She pushes the schedule onto you and you hum. You knew the school halls like the back of your hand, it was easier to navigate that way. You felt your heart beat faster as you give it back.

“Yeah. You should take a left there and it should be the fourth room on the right.” You point it out and she nods. She smiles at you and you feel your heart skip a beat.

“Thanks, stranger.” You nod.

“Wanda!” Someone calls out and you both turn to the newcomer. “You know where the classroom is?”

Yeah. Come on.” They both turn to leave and you stare after them. Wanda looks back and waves at you. You simply put your hand up in a lame attempt to reciprocate.

“Fuck.” You whisper softly and put your hand to your chest. You will yourself to calm down before resuming to read your book.

You yawn as you step inside the cafeteria. It’s been a week since you gave Wanda directions… a week since and you’ve been avoiding her. Every time she would wave her hand at you, you’ll turn to the other direction. Anytime she tries to call you, you would run the other way. It was hard since she’s practically a dog just begging for your attention… this is why you really prefer cats.

You get a tray and get your usual lunch. You’re not in the library since Miss Danvers apparently quitted and even though students usually man the counter, you’ve decided to eat like a normal person this day.

“Hey!” Wanda calls out and you felt your stomach drop. She was with the Avengers. They were the most popular group in school, even more than Seniors despite being Sophomores like you.

Tony and Vision Stark are smart, and people are saying that they’re going to take the world in a few years. With Stark Industries, they might as well do that.

Natasha Romanoff is the heir to the Romanoff Airlines, and she has been basically to everywhere and knows many languages.

Angel Garcia is one of the only people who seem to take every AP classes like you. She’s a smart Omega that you have no doubt will take the world in a storm. Some says she’s a power Omega to Natasha.

Pepper Potts is already showing signs of a great businesswoman and is already interning at Stark Industries. She’s the soulmate of Tony Stark.

Steve Rogers is another example of a power Omega, with his buff body and being the captain and quarterback of the football team.

James ‘Bucky’ Barnes is an Alpha who is also the ace of the Basketball team. He’s the Alpha of Steve Rogers.

Thor Odinson is an Alpha who can make girls wet their panties without doing anything but existing. He’s the heir to Mjolnir Constructions.

Sam Wilson is an Alpha who loves flying more than anything else, he’s father is a pilot at Romanoff Airlines.

You gulp and turn away from her. Walking to a smaller table with no one. You turn to look and see Wanda’s disappointed face. You sigh as you eat and take your phone out. You read fanfics as you eat your lunch.

It’s not like the Betas at the school have not invited you to eat with them but you preferred to be alone, talking to no one and be in your own world.

Wanda sighs and turns back to their table.

“Something wrong, младшая сестра?” Pietro asks and Wanda huffs. She gets her tray and was about to go to you when Sam grabs her arm.

“I wouldn’t go to Y/LN. She’s a Beta.” She stops at that and pulls away from him.

“So what? Is that a sin?” Natasha scoffs at Wanda.

“It means she’s a trying hard nobody.” Wanda glares at her and Natasha smiles.

“She’s still in most of the AP classes though.” Angel says and Tony scoffs.

“Only because her mom and sisters threatened to sue if they didn’t let her.”

“Jesus, what a spoiled brat.” Wanda’s eye twitches at that and she drags Pietro away from them.

“THOSE are you new friends?”

“Yeah? They’re the coolest people, Wands, trust me.”

“Coolest? They’re judging someone based on their second gender.”

“It’s the truth, though.” Wanda crosses her arms and Pietro shrugs. “Betas are just average people, Wands, don’t put too much faith in them.” Wanda huffs and looks at you but you were already gone.

You stretch your body before going back into your research. You’re inside the library after school and you’ve already texted your moms about being late.

“Is this seat taken?” You look up and see Wanda with a book of her own. You shake your head. “Do you mind?” You shake your head again and she sits down besides you. You were so focused on doing you research that you haven’t noticed that Wanda has been staring at you. You only notice that she hasn’t opened her book yet. You look to her and meet her eyes.

“Um?” You blush and Wanda looks away as she opens her book. “Is that The Flower Girl Wore Celery?” Wanda nods and you squeal lightly. “They have this? Where’d you find it?”

“In the literature section? There’s a whole lot of Children’s books there.” You sigh.

“Maybe after I finish this dreadful thing.”

“I’m Wanda by the way.” She holds out her hand and you take it while blushing.

“Right. I’m Y/N.” Wanda smiles at you and you gulp.

“Nice to meet you, Y/N.” You nod and try to focus on the research. You finally finish after an hour and you stretch your body.

“Finally done.” You say and Wanda hums. She’s already finished the Children’s book and was now reading a novel.

“Here.” She gives you the book and you smile at her.

“Thanks.” You begin reading the book.

Your phone rings just as you finish the book, you quickly answer it and it was your Mom.

“Y/N? Are you still finishing your research?”

“No. I’m already done, just going to return all the books that I’ve borrowed.”

“Okay. Your Ma is already cooking dinner.”

“Alright. I’ll finish up and go home.”

“See you later, little one.”

“Yeah. Bye, mom.” You hang up and sigh.

“You okay?” Wanda asks and you hum.

“Just a little sore.” You gather all of your things and put them into your bag.

“You’re leaving?”

“Yep. Ma’s cooking and my mom’s going to get angry if I’m not home by the time she finishes.”

“Let me help you.”

“You sure? Some of these reference books are heavy.”

“Yep.” She picks up the books that you left behind and follows you. You begin returning the books while Wanda hovers behind you. “You’ve been avoiding me.” You drop the last book in your hand and it drops on your foot. You whimper quietly and pick it up. You immediately sit and Wanda looks down you. “You okay?”

“F-fine.” You stutter and stand. You take all the remaining books from her and return them. After you return the last one you notice Wanda and blush. You look down. “Sorry.”

“For what, exactly?” She gets into your vision and you sigh.

“For avoiding you? Getting involved with me won’t do you any good.” You pick up your bag and leave the library with her.

“Why not?” You sigh.

“Because I’m a Beta. And you’re an Omega.”

“So what?” You look at her, not believing her words…

“I’m a Beta, Wanda, you’re an Omega, you should hang out with another Omega or an Alpha, not a Beta like me.” You get something from your bag and present it to her. It was a bookmark, a simple one with just words on them. “My apologies and try to read all the books written on it. They’re all pretty good.” Pietro calls out to Wanda and you both turn to him. “I have to go.” You leave her behind and Wanda sighs. She smiles as she reads the bookmark’s contents.

A/N: I don't know how to cut off chapters now that I have no guide. Help.

Anyhows, thank you for reading and do tell me if you would like to be on the taglist for this series or future works!

I'm going to try to post chapters at least once a week or if life happens then once biweekly.

#Wanda Maximoff x reader #Omegaverse fic #Marvel #Marvel fic #Wanda Maximoff x F!Reader #Wanda Maximoff Fanfic #Scarlet Witch x Reader #Wanda x you #wanda x reader #Scarlet Witch x you

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class1akids · 3 years

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While seeing 2nd holder being Almost!Bakugou is more exciting at least than the last couple of weeks, I just want to remind everyone that the fandom is intrigued by him only because he resembles our!Bakugou - a character we’ve spent a long time being invested in and learnt to root for.

And whatever almost!Bakugou’s deal is (ancestor, or alternate universe Bakugou Ni. Katsuki or Same-Face cosplayer of on the nose parallel), the attention he gets is all earned by our!Bakugou. His story is relevant mostly in relation to our!Bakugou.

Because this dude is dead and as a character, his development is for all purposes is done (while our!Bakugou is dealing with a ton of shit somewhere out there and I frankly want to see what he’s up to!!!) And this is why I’m really getting worn out by the 7-quirk OFA plot.

Long rant under the cut.

We are treading water in Vestige-World, with Deku’s new dead friends. They are not characters we are invested in, because in order to do that, we need to spend time with them and watch them struggle and change and learn and grow. But that’s not feasible within the span of the story - so we just get a short-hand explanation of their history - but they have no depth and only very surface personality.

Banjo is the loud Good Guy. Nana is the hot thighs Good Guy who happens to be Shiggy’s granny. En is the quiet Good Guy. First is the original Good Guy who looks like Shiggy. 4th is the Good Guy with the scar. 2nd is the tsundere, almost!Bakugou Good Guy. 3rd is the BFF to second Good Guy. Like the seven fucking dwarves.

In the end, they don’t really have distinct motivations. All these supposedly “randomly” chosen people are good and heroic and they do their best and now that AFO somehow pulled them out of the core of OFA, they sit around on their cushy chairs, breaking themselves to be helpful to their cute little kuhai.

Because it is all so shallow, Deku gets no development from it either. We are visibly trying to speed through this thing so much that smokescreen is unlocked off-screen, Deku learns everything in a week (undermining everyone else’s quirk learning curves)- but there is no process, no learning, no struggle, no change.

Sure, there is a change of design into Badass!Bunny (Mirko still wears it better), but how did the vestiges IMPACT Deku? What did he learn other than new skills? What perspective did he gain?

It feels like Deku is the empty cup, they keep pouring their skills into, and he just stands there as always, with eyes wide, as our one-way mirror into vestige!world, which itself is just a bunch of asspull, make-it-up-as-we-go-along type of lore.

Deku has very little agency in this OFA-business. Things happen because of external factors: because of “singularity”, because AFO tried to take it, because the vestiges decide to “show up”, because First gives a pep talk to 2nd and 3rd. They give him live instructions on how to use the new toys, so he’s not even figuring anything out. Ironically, it feels less and less like Deku’s quirk and more like OFA Hivemind using Deku’s body.

And because obviously the objective is just to give Deku more powers, well the powers themselves are also under-developed and uninteresting.

In BNHA-universe, quirks are established as physical abilities with limits. They require a limited resource, or have a downside or they are on a timer. No power is limitless.

Yet the OFA-extras don’t seem to have any of these things.

Black Whip is the worst offender. We don’t know what resource it uses, it has no timer, it can sprout from any body part, its strength is not connected to the strength of the wielder, yet it is apparently strong enough to keep restraining a Muscular level guy - it doesn’t even disappear after manifestation even though it’s not corpoeral. Like, BW has absolutely no limits.

It’s only known parameter is: whatever Horikoshi wants to draw.

Float is another outrageous quirk. Everyone else’s flight requires a resource, an active effort, or a trade-off between flying and fighting. Float is just a limitless air-movement with no downside or timer that completely leaves Deku’s arms and legs free to fight. And is a mostly passive ability? I guess? We don’t know... But it sure doesn’t look complicated since Deku unlocked and used it instantenously with no problems.

Danger Sense - I had so much hope for Danger Sense because finally a quirk that could have been troublesome, stretching Deku’s mental limits and teaching him something about trying to do everything by himself. While in the raid Deku blacked out from Danger Sense, within one week it developed into a power that can be used basically the same way as Sir’s prediction (which was on limited timer) to evade opponent’s move and also as a long-distance police emergency scanner to locate more danger. No downsides - no mental strain - no confusing input into the fight.

Smoke Screen - ok, we know nothing about this one either, other than it’s like BW - makes something out of nothing.

So here we are now. Deku spending time with his under-developed dead friends and using a bunch of extra quirks that he got as free candy. It’s all fight mechanics. Where are the emotional stakes???

7-quirk OFA undermined the uniqueness of characters like Sero, Froppy (BW), Uraraka (Float), Jirou, Shoji (Danger Sense), like we said it would. It shifted story-time from the characters we are invested in, and the bonds we care about, to have Deku interact with his under-developed and uniformly Good Guy dead friends. It gave him more powers, but none of it feels earned. He’s not challenged either by the power or the history.

There is no sense of accomplishment like there was when Deku figured out Full Cowl, or when Bakugou got his new explosion, or when Todoroki finally pushed his limits to get flashfire.

I’m not saying there was never potential in this plot. The vestiges could have challenged Deku more - some of them could have been a bit more grey (maybe 2nd will be just a bit), the powers could have been more challenging with more downsides, with bigger off-sets. Having so many people in his head could have stretched Deku psychologically.

But Vestige-land feels like a shiny, boring suburb where everyone is just so NICE and HELPFUL that it feels kind of fake.

And what did we gain? Yes, Deku got more powers and a wardrobe change, but no character development.

And what did we lose? Everything. We are losing out on seeing Deku’s friends, the meaningful bonds, their struggles, their resolve.

I’m sorry, but I’m a 1000 times more invested in seeing Bakugou and Todoroki (especially Todoroki! OMG! what an untapped drama potential) and Momo, and Mina and hell Aizawa, Shinsou - they all came away with so much pain and unfinished business. And the League - Dabi, Tomura, Toga ... so much potential.

Instead, we are getting an - what feels like - obligatory MC arc that tries very hard to pretend that Deku is the only hero left in the world (when we know that there is no way the others are not out there doing their best, and if they aren’t, that’s because some stupid plot asspull) who will fix everything by himself.

Because it’s blatantly untrue. We’ve spent years learning that there are other heroes who can and will step up when they need to, all the class, most of the pros, other students... I’m feeling such a whiplash and deep disappointment every time I open a new chapter with this peddling of the “new symbol! Deku stuff”.

And no cutesy fucking lunch-boxes are going to mask the emptiness of this crap.

And I’m baffled by the fandom reaction. There are so many people who say that oh, finally, because Deku deserves his own arc. Sure, but doesn’t it matter what kind of arc? Wouldn’t you want to see something more meaty than “omg our boy looks so badass!!!! squeeeeee!!!!”?

I’m hoping still that it is a build-up to something more interesting and Deku’s current obsession of doing it all alone and frankly grating martyr-complex is not going to be framed as a good thing (even though it looks right now that this is totally being framed as a good thing and a Mighty Boy origin story) and will lead to some kind of failure instead that will teach Deku to learn to rely on his friends and empower them and not just try to fix everything for them, which after 300+ chapters feels pretty fucking insulting on behalf of the “side characters”.

#bnha critical #bnha meta #bnha manga spoilers #ofa critical #bnha 310 #alt!bakugou #7-quirk ofa sucks so much #sorry for the rant #just felt like i needed to get it off my chest #this plot is so half-assed #even if you love deku #wouldn't you want something more compelling for him than this?

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andraaste · 3 years

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I am not your enemy - Lance fanfiction part 8

This is the chapter of which I had published an excerpt the very first time, so here’s finally the full version ! This is one of my favorites, I hope this will also be the case for you 💕

(Link for Chapter 9 here)

Chapter 8 : Your powers are still there

The door slammed shut and I felt Lance's large body pass near me, brushing my arm nonchalantly as it passed. My stomach contracted in apprehension.

I had most likely just interrupted him during a workout because, without ever completely turning his back on me, he grabbed a towel and quickly wiped his abdomen before putting on some of his armor, completely covering his neck and chest.

- Are you afraid that I will try to attack you from behind again ? I said ironically to see him cover himself like this, especially the back of his neck.

The dragon smirked at my remark. He stole a glance at me as he finished covering himself.

- You know very well that it is you who would gain the most to protect yourself in my presence rather than the other way around, he replied as naturally as possible. If I wanted to, I could have killed you in the market place without anyone seeing anything.

Good.

- It's just that I never completely remove my armor in the presence of another person, just a matter of habit, he explained to me then.

An ironic pout on his lips, he added :

- And indeed, I understood that you were rather unpredictable, as a girl. I prefer to avoid the risk of attacks in the back.

- At least I'm making an impression, I continued in the same vein. Should I also fear for my survival by leaving the door closed ?

My question was meant to be amused, but his indecipherable gaze still gave me a slight doubt.

- For you to see if you decide to trust me or not, I could completely lie to you by telling you that you do not fear anything here.

Where was he, the sensible little smile to accompany this kind of thinking ?

- But you came on your own, so I take it you know what you're doing, he finally concluded.

If he knew how much I had no idea...

I looked away to observe the room around me (and potentially discreetly analyze my chances of running away from here in the event of a life or death story), never having had the opportunity to see in which type of place Lance could live well. Another detail ends up intriguing me. The room was really ... sober. Other than a bed, all kinds of weapons and armor, and a few books, the room showed no particular sign of singularity. Having probably noticed that I was inspecting his lair with my eyes, Lance explained to me with a shrug :

- I don't particularly like wasting my time settling somewhere, I have relatively few personal effects.

Much more than its sobriety, I was also surprised to realize that the room was perfectly tidy. Having arrived unexpectedly, it would have been normal to find even two or three things that were out of place, but nothing seemed to hang around despite my research.

- Why don't you like to settle down ? I asked him, genuinely curious to know his way of seeing things.

My question seemed to catch him off guard too, for he seemed to be trying to find his words for a moment.

- I just think I never really had a home.

I turned to observe him. Looking thoughtful, he didn't seem to have noticed me.

- I've always migrated quite a bit, and even if it's not the first time I've moved somewhere for a long time like here, I prefer not to get too attached to a place and be free to leave when I want. Moreover, as a warrior, you have to know how to be ready for any eventuality and not get too attached to such trivial things.

I pondered his words as silence fell between us. Lance really had a knack for turning everything into drama.

Or the bombastic.

- But every good warrior must have a home waiting for him somewhere, right ?

- When you have one, probably yes. But what connects me to this place is not one of them.

I thought back to what I had been told about Lance's return to custody. His need to redeem himself was probably the only thing holding him back here. The memories in that place were probably going to hurt more than anything to him. He had suffered a real emotional shock, even though he had totally sought it out.

- I think I understand what you mean, I started cautiously. Me neither, I don't really have a home anymore, with the difference that I already had one. When I got to Eldarya, I lost everything else. Everything that made Earth home to me.

Memories of arriving here flooded through my head, especially the potion Miiko had forced me to drink soon after. It was clearly not glorious, but at least it had made it a little less difficult for me to accept this forced new start.

- I finally managed to recreate a semblance of home here, but then...

Seeing that I did not continue my sentence, the dragon deduced it for me.

- I pushed you to sacrifice yourself and lose everything once again.

His words were harsh, brittle, yet he let no emotion betray his face. He pursed his lips as if to keep from adding something. I was confused.

- Yes, I breathed so low I doubted he heard me.

- Look, I'm not going to apologize again. If that's what you're here for, you can leave, nothing is holding you back and certainly not me.

His jaws were twitching as he spoke, which irritated me in turn.

- I'm not here tonight to blame you or try to make you apologize, so you don't need to make those kinds of threats to me. And I'm a big girl, know that if I want to leave I don't need your approval.

- We at least agree on this point.

It was my turn to cringe. Damn, why was he being so rude again ?

- I'm glad to see that you still have your bad temper anyway, I said bitterly.

He gave a sharp laugh that made my hair stand on end.

- People don't change fundamentally, Andraste. They each evolve in their own way, but their nature remains the same. Remember that living in redemption doesn't change who I am.

- So you're telling me that all the nice words I've been hearing about you for weeks are wrong ?

- That's not what I'm saying and I don't know what you've been told about me. Anyway, I don't want to know, even if I have my little idea about it.

- Oh, but I don't doubt that, no. You have to believe that you did a good job of putting everyone in your pocket.

I could see his jaws twitching sharply under his tanned skin.

- That's not what you think, Andraste.

- I thought you had nothing to do with what I thought ?

- Do not distort my words.

- So you have something to do with it ?

- That's not what I said either, stop playing it.

I put my fingers over my eyes, trying to calm the anger rising in me. He might be working for Eldarya's good now, but other than that he definitely hadn't changed. Lance might have been calmer and more thoughtful than before, but he still remained the same to some extent. It all reminded me too much of Ashkore.

- Look, I don't even know why I decided to come see you here, but what is certain is that it was a mistake. We are definitely not meant to get along, you and me.

Pissed off and frustrated, I headed for the door to leave this stuffy place, when his hand grabbed my forearm and stopped my gesture.

- Andraste, calm down.

I didn't answer. I just waited for him to make up his mind to let go of me, still turning my back on him.

- You still haven't told me why you came here, he continued.

- I already told you, I had no particular reason, so let me go please. I thought you won't hold me back.

- I won't hold you back when you explain it to me.

His tone was dry, but nonetheless he pulled gently on my arm to push me to face him. With our sleeves rolled up, this was the first time our two bare skins had touched each other, the dragon usually always wearing gloves, and that contact felt like pricking my skin. Feeling a strange sensation arise in me, I finally unwrapped everything for him, trying to hold back my tears of frustration in the process.

- I feel lost, Lance. I feel like I have to start all over again, except this time around, a chasm seems to separate me from those I already knew. I am tired, my body can no longer keep up. And I feel ...

I looked for a moment at his hand, which was still holding my forearm firmly, the paleness of my skin contrasting sharply with the tanned complexion of his, before looking up at him.

- Incomplete, I finally concluded. I feel like my body needs to regain its powers, but I can't.

Lance observed me for a long time before lowering his eyes in turn.

- Look.

I followed his movement to discover a soft light escaping from my palm held between us. I was speechless.

- How...

My voice stopped. Why were my powers awakening at this precise moment? Since that famous training with him, I had tried several times to use them again, but each of my attempts had resolutely turned out to be luck.

Lance's fingers grew colder and colder and soon, faint streaks of ice appeared on my skin and descended to the heat source in the palm of my hand. When the two elements met, I felt an incredible force spread in me and with the same impulse, the light which escaped from my extremity suddenly burst a bluish color. My hand and arm were almost completely covered in ice, but yet I only felt a slight chill run through me.

He released the pressure on my arm before sliding his fingers until finally let go of me. When the contact between our skins broke, my light flickered for a moment before disappearing. No more sign of magic marked my numb member.

- Your powers are still there, Andraste.

He paused before adding :

- And obviously, they seem to react to mine.

I didn't understand exactly where he was going.

- To react to yours, what do you mean by that?

The dragon had let go of me, but he still didn't back down. His large build blocked my view, I only saw him.

- I don't know exactly, I’ve never had this kind of reaction before. But aengels and dragons have a rather complicated common past, that would explain some events like this one.

I thought back to the fight Leiftan and I had faced him seven years ago. Our powers had as it were merged that day. I thought this only happened because we were both aengels, but was it possible between beings of different origins ?

- Have you ever heard of people merging their powers? I inquired, nervous at the thought of his answer which I certainly wasn't going to like.

His gaze remained impenetrable.

- Apart from Leiftan and you, no, not that I know of. But our races being extinct, we know very little about these kinds of facts.

A memory came back to me then.

- And Fáfnir, he could tell us more !

Lance didn't move but I felt him imperceptibly tighten, which made me anguish. I asked the question that nagged me cautiously.

- Something wrong with Fáfnir ?

He seemed to hesitate to answer me for a moment, but finally spoke, his tone heavy.

- Andraste ... he breathed in contrition and I thought I saw a few sparks of ice escaping from his lips. Memoria is gone, he said, and the dragon's eye too.

I was speechless in amazement. He gave me a few seconds to digest the information before continuing cautiously.

- We don't know where the dragon souls are at the moment. Shortly before you woke up, quite a few unexplained events like this happened. Fáfnir is ... nowhere to be found, let's say.

For the first time, the man's gaze in front of me seemed to waver slightly. The dragon never let it show, but yet I knew it disturbed him more than he made it seem.

- Lance ...

- It's not important, he cut me coldly. We will inevitably find them eventually but for the moment, we cannot count on the knowledge of Fáfnir. However, I would like to know one thing.

I looked at him questioningly.

- How come my ice didn't do anything to you? You didn't seem to feel the cold.

I was taken aback. Granted, only Lance was the only one who really knew what was happening to my body after seeing the miraculous healing of my wound, and my unexplained blood loss, but I hadn't told him all the details I had. had counted on keeping for myself.

- It's probably because of this merging of powers thing, nothing more, I argued with a shrug that wanted to be nonchalant. We do not yet know anything about this phenomenon after all.

Unsurprisingly, the young man did not seem entirely convinced by my answer. He was definitely a formidable adversary, even in areas other than combat. It was my luck.

Cautiously, he moved closer to me, his gaze fixed on mine.

- So, you know if you trust me?

Getting a little closer, he lifted his hands and slowly directed them to my neck, probably giving me time to decide whether or not to let him.

- Let me try something, he whispered to me.

Cradled by the calm tone of his voice, I let his hands reach the thin skin that covered my neck. His long, slender fingers encircled the entire back of my neck, he barely touched me, as if he was afraid that I would push him away. I plunged my questioning gaze into his, his gaze totally focused on his task, when the tingling sensation I'd had earlier on his touch began again, this time where his hands covered me in.

His concentrated face was now tilted so close to mine that I only had to whisper for him to hear my question.

- What are you doing ?

I suddenly felt the same streaks of ice run through my skin. Rising to the bottom of my face, they marked my skin with a slight tickle. Despite everything, I only felt a small sensation of cold.

Lance smirked weakly.

- Breath, he intimated in a deep voice.

Without really knowing why he was asking me to do this, I still breathed weakly into the small space between us. It was then that with amazement, I observed light crystals of ice escaping from my mouth, until gradually transforming into a sort of bluish flame. I widened my eyes at this phenomenon, it was his dragon fire !

His smile widened then.

- A real little ice dragon.

A light expression floated on his face as he gently removed his hands from my neck, removing the last traces of ice that covered me. Slowly, he pulled away from me as well, putting a distance of convenience between us.

I was obsessed with the feeling of fierce power that had invaded me for a brief moment. So that was the strength of the dragons? This feeling of invincibility so primitive. I understood better why they were so formidable, when I had yet tasted only a tiny part of his powers.

- How did you do that? It was amazing!

The latter observed me, his face suddenly slightly serious.

- To be honest, I didn't think it would work. This is the first time that I have tried to impart some of my power to someone else, I didn't even know it was possible.

We both watched each other silently in the stillness of the room, each realizing the extent of the communion of our respective powers.

And it was ... almost scary, to be honest.

The dragon's voice finally broke our silence.

- Andraste, I will advise you not to tell anyone about this phenomenon for the moment, I do not yet know what that could imply.

I nodded without batting an eyelid, I totally agreed with that idea. On the other hand...

I fixed his blue eyes with a determined gaze.

- Lance, I would like you to help me regain my powers.

I paused, hesitating on what to do next.

- But maybe ... out of sight, like here.

He raised an eyebrow in disbelief, a thin smile on his lips.

- The little human wants to make clandestine dates in my room ?

(Chapter 9)

#eldarya #eldarya new era #eldarya lance #eldarya writing #eldarya fanfiction #ashkore #i am not your enemy

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katsidhe · 3 years

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could you do 9.10 and 9.13 for episode reviews.

Love your takes btw.

9.10 Final Thoughts

well, well, well, if it isn’t my old friend season 9. God I love season 9. buckle in.

Plenty of what season 9 tries to do with angel drama falls flat, but plenty of it doesn’t. It’s at its strongest when interrogating the ways that the angels are looking for personal purpose, rather than folding themselves into various suit-clad factions. In this episode, we have Gadreel, Abner, and Thaddeus, all with very different takes.

Thaddeus is the most boring of the three—a straightforward narcissist and sadist. (Lucifer will follow in his rockstar-impersonating footsteps in s12. SPN clearly has a dim view of the music industry.) We don’t care when he dies, and we aren’t meant to.

Abner’s found a family, and he’s let go of revenge. He’s clearly found peace and happiness—but it’s stolen. I’m ambivalent about this. I guess I could take his word that his vessel was abusive and therefore deserves to have been permanently body-snatched, and I guess I could believe him when he says his new family loves him, even though they clearly don’t know what he is or what he’s done. His regard for humanity as something other than a project is… uncertain. Even if everything is as sunny as he explains to Gadreel, there is fundamental selfishness and short-sightedness here. Get what you want, Abner says, and never let go.

Gadreel asks Abner if his vessel is happy. This reveals both Abner’s scorn for his vessel, and Gadreel’s uncomfortable awareness of and respect for Sam (and his bartender vessel, who Gadreel stares at, and who accepts Gadreel back easily).

Gadreel! OF COURSE Gadreel’s gotta be the scapegoat for Lucifer’s release, HAHAHAH. I love him to pieces, oml. Seriously, the Sam parallels could not BE more blatant. I’ve talked about this before, that it makes the earned antipathy between them all the more alarming, all the more visceral. The big sticking point is that Gadreel’s years of pointless torture came prior to his “redemption” arc, rather than as a consequence of it. Gadreel has all of s5 Sam’s despair and helpless anger and self-loathing, all of his drive to set things right at any price, and all of it is amplified by his trauma.

Sam and Gadreel’s relationship is defined by its liminal spaces. Gadreel threatens to tear Sam apart, but he does not, even when he is tortured. He locks Sam away in a dream rather than force him to watch him kill, or to suffer. But when Sam forces Gadreel out, Gadreel leaps instantly on telling Sam he is weak, reciting back Sam’s fears and Gadreel’s own. This reads like Gadreel is aiming quite a lot of his own self-pity and self-hatred at Sam.

Cas’s murderous rage at Gadreel when his identity is revealed is fun. It shows that Heaven’s PR team did a good job, for one thing. But Cas is furious because it’s specifically Lucifer. And the Apocalypse, and all the attendant suffering, his and Dean’s and Sam’s. It’s a personal wrath.

“Stupid for the right reasons…” oh, Cas, your scarcity of positive human role models is showing. Also, Cas’s particular brand of reassurance here isn’t actually something Dean has a problem with. He expresses regret over having been tricked—he says he’s stupid, he says he got played—but he’s never in doubt that his intentions were good. He’s never in doubt that he did the righteous thing. He’s never in doubt that he’d do it again.

Dean apologizes to Cas for barring him from the bunker. (Sam will not receive an apology.) Cas compares what Dean did to Sam to what Cas did by trusting Naomi. There’s a key difference here. Cas’s moral compass is not the problem; it’s his critical thinking skills.

Crowley, Cas, and Dean are a hilarious trio. (Also, I really hope that Cas’s pimpmobile got to Heaven too, like the Impala.)

Crowley being genuinely sorry that Kevin’s gone and his willingness to risk his life to help Sam are the best two moments of the generally weak Crowley-has-human-blood plot line. They feel earned. [also Crowley’s ‘I told Kevin he should’ve run!’ is both accurate, funny, and sad.]

Let’s talk 4.21 parallels! I mean, first, the glaringly obvious: Sam locked down to be purged of something supernatural; Sam suffering; Dean unable to bear Sam’s tortured screams; a very atmospheric fan. Dean walking away.

and then, of course, there’s “at least he dies human.” Right off the bat, Dean tells Cas he’s going to kill Gadreel. Cas, concerned, says that this will kill Sam too; Dean, sounding tortured, says he knows. Now, obviously, Dean doesn’t kill Sam. He doesn’t even get particularly close. But it’s really interesting that this is the first thing Dean brings up! He declares unprompted that he’s ready to kill Sam rather than leave him possessed. Which is both a recapitulation of the save-him-or-kill-him mantra, and an ironic twist on the decision Dean made in 9.01. Then, Dean knew Sam would rather die than be possessed, but had him possessed anyway. Now, Dean has decided instead that Sam must die because he is possessed. Obviously Dean’s opinion on the possessing entity has changed in the meantime: Sam’s hasn’t, but Sam’s isn’t what matters.

Dean reaches new levels of PEAK IRONY when he declares that Cas should possess Sam too. Cas has to actually point out that Dean can’t, in fact, volunteer Sam’s permission. Because apparently Dean had forgotten, lmaooo. Crowley, on the other hand, is happy to oblige. Dean directs Cas to burn Sam’s tattoo off.

The language of this entire scene is so sexual. I mean, it’s Crowley, of course it is, double entendre is his first language. But this theme recurs again and again. Here it is just more pointed than usual. It is queasy.

Gadreel has Sam trapped in a Dean-type happy place—a hunt with ghouls and cheerleaders, no organic produce to be found. And I don’t think it’s because Gadreel doesn’t understand what Sam likes. I think it’s because Gadreel’s aim was for Sam to feel comfortable, not blissful. It smacks of Hallucifer, just a bit—using the verisimilitude of Dean’s louder moods rather than trying to appeal directly to Sam’s contentment, because of his always questionable, always a question, sense of reality. If things were too smooth, too cheerful, Sam might just be suspicious. Sam is easier to trick by proxy.

The HORROR of this episode for Sam: Gadreel washing someone’s blood off of Sam’s hands. Crowley pushing needles into his brain. Sam’s body and life as a bargaining chip as Gadreel threatens to kill him, and then as Dean threatens to kill him right back. The quiet heartbreak as Sam remembers Kevin’s death, as he realizes the magnitude of Dean’s betrayal. But the worst part of it, I think, is somehow still Sam’s face when Crowley comes to get him in the dream where Gadreel stashed him. How his expression just crumples as Crowley tells him he is trapped in a lie, that his mindscape is once again a prison, that he truly cannot trust his reality. The sheer devastation of this on top of Sam’s history, plus the knowledge that Dean did this—and he pulls himself together and puts his foot on Gadreel’s neck and casts him OUT anyway. Sam Fucking Winchester.

and then the Bridge Scene. The lighting, the staging… it’s fucking gorgeous. It’s one of those scenes where I knew as I was watching it for the first time, seven years ago, that it was going to be something. I held my breath and still hold my breath. I can’t take my eyes off the way that Sam is shaking slightly, the entire time. The way he can barely meet Dean’s eyes but he does it anyway. He SAYS HIS PIECE, says it clearly, says it with an even tone despite what he’s gone through, despite the holes in his head that were healed seconds ago.

I love the gentleness between Sam and Cas here. I love knowing that 9.11 follows this. I love that there is no question that Cas will leave with Dean—he is staying with Sam, to heal and support him, even after he spent this episode mostly reassuring Dean.

Dean does not start this conversation to apologize. He starts out with the intent to DELIBERATELY egg Sam on: “come on, let’s hear it.” It’s an incitement, because Dean wants Sam to act angry, so that Dean can feel more justified in leaving. Sam does not rise to the bait.

Dean has an excuse for every point Sam has: I had no choice, you were dying, it’s not in me, he saved your life. He says, “I did a bad thing with bad consequences and I would 100% do it again, anyway, bye.”

And then the most infuriating thing: Dean is in the wrong, so he tells the person he’s wronged, ugh, I’m just such an awful poisonous person, I’m going to burn for this. It’s so clearly wrong-headed. Intentional or not, it’s such an obvious invitation for Sam to comfort him that it might well have been embossed. If this were in e.g. season 15, or if the crime he’d committed had been less awful, I can easily hear Sam’s reassurance: no, Dean, I promise you’re a good person, we all make mistakes. It is the most toxic way possible to frame a potential apology.

The textual theme of Dean-as-poison (and, for that matter, the consequence of Kevin’s death vs. the initial crime of the possession) is an intentional muddying of the waters: Crowley, Cas, and Dean himself all bring it up in some fashion, linking some fundamental aspect of Dean himself rather than Dean’s choices to Kevin’s death. Crowley is trying to be cutting; Cas is trying to be supportive; Dean is both excusing himself and camouflaging that fact in his exhausting self-loathing. There is a complicated interplay of what the text says about Dean’s guilt and what it condemns; this pattern continues throughout s9, and reaches its apex in the next several episodes. Dean’s love as a condemning feature rather than a redeeming one is one of my favorite things about SPN, and s9 has it in HIGH gear.

But, here, at least, Sam doesn’t rise to this bait either. “Don’t go thinking that’s the problem, ‘cause it’s not.” The problem is obviously, achingly, exhaustingly clear. Sam’s spelled it out in this very conversation: you tricked me. You lied to me. You got me possessed when I was willing to die. But Dean, and a fair portion of the audience, can’t hear it. So he doesn’t. And they don’t, and they pretend that this line is some sort of puzzle! a cliffhanger on a conversation unfinished! when it was the conclusion, not the beginning.

image that is now inextricable from 9.10

#9.10 #final thoughts #I have even more to say tbh #sam and cas #sam and dean #dean and cas #sam and gadreel #sam and crowley #sam and possession #sam and abuse #dean and self-hatred #sam and forgiveness #sam and mindscapes #sam and trauma #blahdose

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thepigeonsopinion · 3 years

Text

Damn, what is this the third spoiler this week?

So, the "Gabriel Agreste" trailer AND synopsis of the episode just came out recently and as alway we're here to talk about my inner opinions (and maybe some theories along the way) of the episode.

If you've haven't seen/read the synopsis here it is:

"Nathaniel and Marc have a plan for Marinette to declare her feelings to Adrien. They sat it up at school, where Adrien is free of his father's control. But Chloe films their meeting and threatens to reveal everything to Gabriel, who would forbid Adrien to go back to school. Chloe will spend the evening at Gabriel's, where Marinette cannot enter. But Nath and Marc's imagination is limitless, and Marinette, disguised as a waitress, sneaks into the Agreste home... where a supervillian is also crashing the party. Will Ladybug save the soiree?"

So as you can see, this episode is just going to be another episode where I'm going to be so pissed. Not to mention that the trailer, is already giving me dramatic vibes (with chloe kicking a whole ass door down). Let's just dive into it, I guess!

First of all, let's talk about the one main upside of the episode, the Marcthaniel moment! They look so cute, and the fact that they did something together for Marinette is so cute! (even if the thing they came up with is to push Marinette to Adrien even more heheheehe... :,)). The first scene in the trailer shows a table with many masks on top of it, I wonder what the significance of the masks are to the episode because no one at the party is wearing them so I wonder...

AnYwAy! The fact that Thomas Astruc is making Chloe do stuff that would deem her nonredeemable is just sad in my opinion. Because in the first few seasons it seemed she could be redeemed (she even avoided being akumatized again) but now, with everything that happened in season 4, it does not seem possible anymore. It just so sad because she could've had so much potential. Now, don't get me wrong I still don't like how Chloe acts and how she treats other characters in the show, but all I'm saying is that her character could've had a better role in season 4 other that stereo typical bully *(plus the chaos that is happening in this trailer ALONE.)

Okay, now let's dive into the family drama between Felix and Gabriel! As we all know Gabriel's and Felix's relationship isn't a friendly one and it's definitely more prominent in the episode with the stink eye they give each other (probably because Felix stole the ring from Gabriel)((wait I just realized that if Felix didn't steal the ring from Gabriel we wouldn't have found out that Adrien is a sentimonster because the ring that Emilie had was obviously the object to control the sentimonster/Adrien. So, if Felix didn't steal that ring Adrien would've been able to have more freedom of choice :0) Also, I believe that this is the episode that Felix finds out that Gabriel is Shadowmoth and whether he plans on using that information against Gabriel or just keep it to himself is up to him ( but I believe that Felix is just going to keep it to himself.)

Wait a second did Gabriel make a sentimonster version of himself or at least his akumatized self (I forgot the akuma's name :p). Also not the fact that even after all the things that boi has done he still being saved T3T. Wait, of Marinette is supposed to be "disgused as a waitress" why the heck is she wearing a mustache. Well, I guess no one would recognize her with that disguise (maybe Kagami would find out?). Also, I bet that Marinette will not be able to confess to Adrien I mean, if this show has taught me anything is that anything that has to do with the LS now is probably end in one in two ways. One being that it just doesn't work out and Marinette fails to confess properly to Adrien (aka the way she wants to) or Adrien just misunderstands the whole thing and thinks that Marinette is being "good friend". Two being that they pull an "Oblivio" and forget the whole thing even happened.

Not to mention, we love Kagami trying to fight on her own! Yess, Queen! (btw I am starting to love Kagami even more because of her ability to be independent :)). Even if punching the book straight ahead was kinda stupid T3T. Still, you go girl!

I know the only reason that Felix smiles at the painting is because it looks like his mother, but like it be kinda suspicious though. Not that Gabriel arriving at the exact moment Felix was to press the buttons to open the "gateway" to the butterfly basement is not suspicious. (Also, I just realized that maybe Emilie when she created Adrien ((if the theory that Adrien is a sentimoneter is correct.)) she probably based it off of Felix, which is why they look so similar :0)

I just realized that we don't know why their's a party at the Agreste household. Eh, it's probably for Gabriel Agreste's 100th collection.

And with that, the trailer is done!

All in all, just with the trailer and the synopsis of the episode I can already tell that I will be very annoyed and intrigued by the episode. The one half being that there is going to be a part of the episode that will be cliche as heck, which is code for Marinette and her friends making a plan for her to confess her "undying love" for AdRieN and fail miserably in the end, which is no doubt going to annoy the heck out of me. And the other half being the drama in the Agreste household and the theory that Felix may find out that Gabriel is Shadowmoth, which will no doubt intrigue the heck out of me. But, in the end I can't wait for my questions and theories to be answered.

Anyway! That has been my whole rant about the new released synopsis and I still stand with my opinion. I hope everyone has a great rest of their day or morning(?) (Because I'm doing this at like 3:00 in the morning :0) and as always remember...

But that's just my opinion (・ε・)

(I swear if this episode gets released this weekend I will be so freaking pissed, mainly because this show just doesn't give us a minute to recover from an episode, especially with the fact that the last episode had so many things to unpack :p)

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olivia-anderson-fanfic · 3 years

Text

A Miraculous TikTok Account

Part 11

First

Rena was running out of time.

(To make TikToks. She wasn’t dying for anything except content.)

She’d figured that she would do Q&A type things, it was close enough to the content she’d used to make but far enough away that no one would suspect anything about her identity. It was perfect!

But the other heroes were… let’s say ‘less than eager’ to divulge much information to her. Especially not when they were being filmed.

Ladybug had pulled her aside one day to explain why.

“Rena…” She reached out and gently rested a hand on her shoulder.

Rena knew what that meant, she’d gotten it enough back when she was just a civilian. For just a second, she was thrown back to the first time one of her family members had died, to the way she had promised that she wouldn’t come back until she had her sister safely in her arms...

But she knew that it couldn’t be like that. Ladybug didn’t know who she was just like Rena didn’t know her identity. It was nothing that serious.

“We can’t give much information to the public. Hawkmoth could be watching.”

A fair point. It hurt, though.

She crossed her arms over her chest. “So we don’t show him our weaknesses, it’s not that hard.”

“We have to assume any information could be used against us.”

Rena frowned. “By that logic we can’t upload any content…?”

“We can’t upload any content of substance, no. Messing around in a store is fine. Videos of animals are fine. Anything beyond that is… potentially problematic.”

The idea of style over substance was foreign to the hero. Her whole brand used to be substance over style, done with a phone camera but close enough to fights for people to actually get a glimpse of the heroes in action. What was she supposed to do?

“What’s your niche, then?” Said Rena, hoping to get an idea.

“I was going to do some videos on mental and physical wellness.”

Yeah, no. That was a very ‘Ladybug’ thing to do, Rena probably couldn’t encroach on that in any way. But… what else was there?

Ladybug opened her mouth like she was about to say something, and then she shook her head and disappeared to her room.

Rena watched her leave in silence, and then fell back on the couch. She rested her hands over her eyes, something that was very uncomfortable due to the weird fabric of the mask on her face, and tried to think.

Ladybug had been fair. They already had enough of a gap between the information Hawkmoth had versus the amount they did, they shouldn’t make that worse… but then what was the point of them doing social media accounts?

And, she mused, why hadn’t Ladybug just told Master Fu her concerns?

Something wasn’t adding up, but she didn’t exactly know what.

The reporter in her was itching to find out. She didn’t want to invade Ladybug’s privacy, especially not when the other already seemed wary enough around her, but it was hard to just let go…

So, what could she do?

She grumbled as she went to Carapace’s room, not even bothering to knock as she walked in. It wouldn’t matter if she did, her miraculous made it so that most people’s eyes and ears slid right over her unless she actively worked to get them to notice her.

He was in his hero costume, though that wasn’t surprising considering he’d gotten back from patrols only a few minutes ago.

Carapace jumped a little in surprise when she came to a stop by his desk and looked up from where he was booting up his computer.

“Salut?” He said slowly.

“Salut! I need help.”

He raised his eyebrows a little and then shrugged. With a tiny wave of his hand, a second chair made of a bunch of different plates appeared behind her.

She took a seat and crossed her legs. “Everyone talks to you, right?”

“I guess…?”

“So do you know what everyone’s doing for their TikTok accounts?”

“I’m going to get footage of us acting friendly, Chat is filming animals he sees on patrols, Ladybug is ‘promoting mental and physical wellness’, and Chloe…” He sucked in a breath. “I don’t know what Chloe’s doing, but she started laughing maniacally when I asked so I’m not eager to find out.”

Rena pouted a little bit. Great, so everyone’s taken all the good and easy ideas. What else was there?

“I don’t know what to do with my account. Ladybug says I can’t do interviews and stuff because Hawkmoth could use stuff against us.”

Carapace briefly looked confused, and then understanding crossed his face. “Well, I can tell you that no one here would disagree with that.”

“I know, I know, it makes sense,” she sulked, resting her head on her hand. “But then what do I do?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Being the ‘smart one’ is kind of your thing.”

She frowned at that, but brushed past it. “I don’t really care about my image, it’s not that important to me --.”

“It should be.”

Her gaze shot up to see his expression was uncharacteristically serious.

He seemed to realize this, too, because he cleared his throat and brought a smile to his face again.

“I know you’re new, so let me give you some advice: keep your life as a hero and a civilian as far apart as you possibly can. Since we’re everyone’s therapists and all, it’s kind of depressing when you start thinking about everything the civvies tell you when you’re off the job.”

Carapace reached out slowly, giving her time to draw back, and rested a hand on top of her head.

“So, lean into your image. Lean into it so hard you become a parody of yourself. It’s better for everyone that way. Trust me.”

She reached up and pulled his hand off, frowning deeply. “If you think that then why did you agree to live with us? Why are you taking videos of us all being friends?”

“Well, I live with everyone because it was a good solution for some concerns I had about college… not that we really had a choice. Master Fu wasn’t going to give it up.” He leaned back in his chair and stretched. “And I’m taking videos of everyone because it’ll help when we need to do our whole therapy thing. People talk more when they feel close to you.”

Rena stared at him in shock. That was… surprisingly cold and calculated for the supposed ‘nice’ hero. Then again, by his own admission, he didn’t even see himself as that nice of a person.

Were all the other heroes like that? Lying about their personalities for the sake of the public or their mental health? And, if they were, were they keeping up the act while there too or did they consider living in the house their new ‘civilian’ life?

She pushed herself to her feet abruptly, startling Carapace a second time. She crossed her arms.

“I’ve got an idea for what to do. Thanks.”

“Huh? But I didn’t --?”

She was already gone.

Despite the temptation to disobey that she was pretty sure wasn’t entirely her fault, Rena had gone to Ladybug a few days later with a proposal:

“I still want to be an informant to the people.” She saw Ladybug begin to protest, so she rushed to finish the rest of her sentence: “Obviously, I won’t be giving them anything of substance, but it could help to make them feel closer to us as heroes.”

Ladybug couldn’t turn down the reasoning. It was what Carapace had listed as his own.

And, to her delight, Ladybug seemed to agree because she clicked her tongue and nodded.

“Fine. What’re you planning to do?”

“Simple stuff. A house tour -- making sure to blur and hide anything that could give Hawkmoth our location -- and then after that keep them updated on the news.”

There was a silence as she considered this. Then her head tipped to the side. “What do you mean by ‘news’?”

“Nothing major. Have you ever seen a drama channel on YouTube? Stuff like that.”

“... fine, but you should run your videos by everyone involved before uploading.”

Rena nodded her understanding.

She started with the house tour. If she was going to do this, she needed to gain their trust. A few normal videos, and then she’d start trying to slip the public information about the heroes’ true personalities.

Rena didn’t want to expose them to Hawkmoth, and especially didn’t want to expose their families, so she really was going to try to respect most of their privacy. For this reason, she did tell them all when she was going to do the house tour so they could hide anything that could be used to figure out their identities.

She started with the shared rooms like the kitchen and living room, but she brushed past all of that quickly since she knew that wasn’t what they’d be interested in.

Her room was first. It was the same size as every other bedroom in the house, but it felt tiny and cramped. There was a dresser, a desk, a bed, three different bookshelves, an end table… well, let’s just say that she’d brought more stuff than necessary. The room wasn’t exactly neat, it seemed that it would buckle under the weight of Rena’s knickknacks if she wasn’t careful, but it wasn’t necessarily dirty either; everything had its place.

She decided to put the more boring rooms in the middle for the good old watchtime. Ladybug’s room was fine but her personality was a bit dull when it came to this kind of thing, and Carapace’s personality was fine but his room was boring, so...

She was off to Ladybug’s room. She climbed up to the attic and finally figured out exactly what Ladybug had been working on since they’d moved in. Apparently she was trying to make an indoor jungle gym using the support beams on the ceiling. It actually looked like a pretty good workout, though maybe a little unsafe. Beyond that, the room was rather full. Random pieces of furniture (mostly chairs) were strewn about, loaded with a precarious amount of fabrics.

She found Ladybug hunched over a sketchbook on her bed, swaddled in blankets despite the fact that the attic was actually pretty warm.

She looked up at her and blinked. “Oh. Now? Okay.” She escaped her blanket prison with minimal struggling and then gave a short tour of her room.

Rena pointed to a divider on the other side of the room. “What’s behind there?”

Ladybug looked over and a blush spread across her face. “I don’t have a closet, so that’s where I put the secret identity stuff for now. Don’t go back there.”

For some reason, Rena thought she was being lied to. However, she couldn’t just go back there when Ladybug had just said that it would reveal her identity, so she just nodded and said: “Gotcha. Thanks for the tour.”

She moved on to Carapace’s room next. She pushed the door to his room open and sent a smile and a wave. All his textbooks were safely stashed out of sight and he’d cleaned up the normal mess of old snacks for the video, which somehow made his room feel even emptier than usual.

“Here we have a wild Carapace in his natural habitat. Though, why this is what he chose as his natural habitat is beyond me.”

He laughed good-naturedly. “I don’t need much.”

“I can see that.”

He smiled. “Ridiculous! Utterly Ridiculous!” He said, doing his best impression of Chloe.

Rena cleared her throat, and then did a perfect impression of her voice.

Carapace’s eyes widened. “Chloe?”

She tried not to laugh, and instead nodded and continued her impression: “Yes. I’m secretly Chloe. Rena asked me to take her place for this because she was tired.”

He didn’t seem sure whether or not to take this as a joke, and she gleefully left the room.

She moved on to Chloe’s room. It was… somehow both bright and dark in there and this threw Rena off more than she’d like to admit. While most people would take Rena for the hoarder (and they’d probably be right to), Chloe also seemed to have some hoarding problems; the walls were taken up with different luxury items from jewelry to handbags; the floor was littered with different plants at seemingly random intervals.

Chloe looked up from where she was tending to some plants with the help of a few bees (wait, was there an actual BEEHIVE in there?).

“I like your… bees…?”

Chloe snickered. “Thanks. They don’t like you, though, so I’d suggest you leave.”

Rena was a little offended that the bees didn’t like her, but she didn’t need to be told twice.

She headed to Chat’s room next.

When she opened the door she had thought that he wasn’t there. The lights were off outside of a TV which, upon closer inspection, she realized someone was playing a video game. Huh. She turned on the light.

Once she was actually able to see, she was taken aback by how dirty it was. Clothes littered the ground; the bed looked like it hadn’t been made since they moved in; there was a grand piano but it was currently being used as a trash can for old snack bags.

“Did you forget that I was doing a house tour today?”

“Nope,” said Chat from somewhere in the filth.

“Oh… okay…”

The video cut.

~~~

Taglist

@nathleigh @mialuvscats @sassakitty @th1s-1s-my-aesthet1c @blueslushgueen @woe-is-me0

#a miraculous tiktok account #rena rouge #alya cesaire #ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #carapace #nino lahiffe #queen bee #chloe bourgeois #chat noir #adrien agreste #miraculous team #miraculous fic #ml fic #chloenette #chlonette #adrino

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dex-xe · 3 years

Note

Ghosts watch the Euros?

Am I about to write 1000 words of cringe about dead fictional characters watching a football tournament?? yes I am and I'm thrilled!! XD

This primarily focusses on Pat btw but most of the ghosts feature a bit too.

So basically Alison didn’t really care that much about the Euros before they started, Mike however was decently optimistic regarding Engliand’s chances but isn’t the world’s biggest sport fan. But one evening they’re all watching TV and stuff and then there’s one of those animated ads that play before any major sports competition starts and Pat sees it and gets incredibly excited.

He hasn’t been able to watch a major football tournatment (live) since he was alive because Heather never had sport on at all. He begs Alison that he gets control of the TV during England matches and after using the whole “pleasseeeee I’m no trouble, I don’t usually ask for much!” Alison agrees to adjust the TV rota, much to the others ghosts disgust (the Captain is peeved about his afternoon day time TV History Channel documentaries being overwritten, and Fanny’s evening period dramas often get pushed aside but Alison eventually manages to use the Sky Box to rearrange everything for them).

For most of the group stages it’s just Pat watching, Mike will occassionally sit in but is genrally on his phone. Julian will also offer the occassional comment which Pat just rolls his eyes at and tells him to go back to his computer games. Also Pat is amazed just quite how young the team is but I digress.

So once it becomes apparent that England are doing surprisingly well (and Mike’s mates stop talking about anything else at the pub) Mike starts paying attention and by extension Alison sits in bringing multiple ghosts in her wake.

Kitty doesn’t like the idea of competition much and just wants people to have fun, she gets upset when people get kicked out but congratulats them for doing their very best. Thomas however, stands behind the sofa muttering about how it’s a barbaric sport and the lowest form of entertainment (“Polo!! Now that takes real skill!!)

The Captain wasn’t much of a football fan in life (cricket was much more his bag) but he’ll gladly sit and enjoy some friendly competition, anything he can get these days to be proud of his country. Robin doesn’t understand organised competition much but he quite like the idea of playing a game like that, he kinda misses running around and burning of energy, physical performance was super important for hunting when he was alive.

Anyway, once England makes it into the quarters (and Mike claims to have been totally invested from the beginning) Mike and Alison both start to get more and more involved, they decide to buy England flags and bunting to put across the front of the house - much to the Captain’s pleasure cause it reminds him a bit of VE Day.

Alison does actually manage to convince everyone to gather round for the final - even Fanny who literally couldn’t care less is overwhelmed with patriotism and hovers in a nearby armchair. Pat parks himself on the floor right in front of the TV so he can hear the commentary even when the others are rambling on about their analysis of the game (their analysis is incredibly poor given they’ve been dead for centuries - Kitty announces that the strikers should “use thier hips more” and no one is quite sure what that means but Thomas does suggest sending correspondence to Southgate to give him that advice.)

Anyway (I keep going off on tangents) the final obviously begins with England scoring mad quick which erupts the TV room into cheers. Mike jumps up to celebrate and puts his foot into where Pat is also sat cheering - Alison has to catch him around the waist to pull him back towards the sofa to stop Pat from gagging.

Pat then starts going on about how, with a start like that, there’s no way England can lose now. Julian rains on his parade very quickly and tells him worse things have happened and Alison jokes about what a show off Julian will be if he’s right and England lose… (Julian is obviously incredibly patriotic and wants England to win but he wants to be right much more).

Thomas quickly begins to think of himself as an expert at this “pauper’s sport” and starts to shout the generic “I know nothing about football but don’t want people to question me” phrases (“they had better begin playing it forward more, they shan’t achieve anything with cowardice like this!!)

They remain kinda optimistic going into the second half apart from Pat who is potentially the only one who recognises England slolwy losing control - but, much like with his scouts, his puts on his usual optimistic front to stop the team from becoming deflated (the team can’t hear him becuase a) he’s not at Wembley and b) he’s been dead four decades but it’s just his natural reaction).

As soon as Italy score, that’s when the deflation starts to set in. They all become slightly quieter until England start mounting an attack and then the shouting begins again.

Pat tries to explain the concept of extra time to the others but few understand and begin suggesting their own tie break ideas. Kitty suggests a draw would be better, everybody wins. Fanny suggests someone should concede (she doesn;t specifiy who but it’s very much implied). Robin’s idea is to continue with extra time then release a bear onto the pitch at a random point “for the drama” (I would watch that though).

But no, Pat and Mike are both very quiet throughout extra time. Thomas is thrilled because he believes Southgate has listened to his ongoing generic advice to “bring on Grealish” - realistically he’s peeved Love Island isn’t on, he likes to make fun of it and announce repeatedly how “the modern world has no concept of love!!”

Once it gets to penalties Kitty is off. She can’t stand the tension and covers her eyes to avoid having to watch somebody lose in this way. Mary sits beside her on the sofa petting her hair like “ooh cry not, ’tis but a game child” which really doesn’t help the mood. After every single shot, there’s just a little burst of gasps and strangled noises from everyone except Pat who is just waiting and praying that his first tournament in 40 years is going to be a dramatic win.

When England (spoilers from over a month ago) lose, silence falls across the room before Julian finally breaks it: “I don’t mean to say I told you so but…” he is interrupted VERY quickly by shouting from everyone else. Eyes quickly fall on Pat who hasn’t said anything since the penalties began, he hadn;t even turned to look at anyone else yet. He slowly stood up and said with a very fake smile “well it was a deserved win… if you’ll excuse me” and then he fazes through the wall behind him never to be seen again.

“Julian, that really was uncalled for,” Alison tells him. Pat seems normal for the next few days but most people can tell he’s very disappointed, especially as Mike has to get the ladder out again to do the really sad “flag taking down ceremony” everyone did the day after.

Pat’s finally brought out of his slump by Kitty who asks him what he would do if his scouts failed at something - he says he’d tell them they did really well for trying their best and give them some tips to improve. “Exactly,” Kitty says. “You’d still be proud of what they achieved, right?” All the ghosts are pretty excited by the prospect of a world cup next year.

So there we go,, cheers for the ask!! I apologise for this being cringe as fuck and I really hope it gets to the right people XD I’m having a day of trying to finish as many projects as I can over the next few days before series 3 so I can essentially start afresh after the new episodes are out - I know I’m going to have a lot of ideas and inspiration.

#bbc ghosts #max's ghost post

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twh-news · 3 years

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‘Loki’ star Gugu Mbatha-Raw on the multiverse: ‘It’s going to be mind-blowing’

For Gugu Mbatha-Raw, entering the Marvel world with the latest Disney+ series “Loki” was an unexpected class reunion.

“I knew Tom [Hiddleston] previously because we were at drama school at the same time,” Mbatha-Raw, 38, told The Post — referring to London’s prestigious Royal Academy of Dramatic Art, which she graduated from in 2004.

“So, there’s a lovely sense of the circle of life and shared experience when you get to work with an actor that you’ve known for a long time,” said Mbatha-Raw, who is based in London.

The two Brits have kept in touch intermittently, she said, but “Loki” brought them together.

“We’ve seen each other on and off over the years at various events. It was always lovely to run into him and catch up … it’s fun as well because [‘Loki’ co-star Wunmi Mosaku] was at the same drama school, too. And we filmed this during 2020 — which was obviously a mad, mad year for everyone. So, to have that shared experience and old college friends with you on this uncertain journey was very comforting.”

Now on Disney+ (new episodes out Wednesdays), “Loki” follows Loki (Hiddleston) circa the 2012 “Avengers” movie — when the character’s main goal is still world domination and events from subsequent Marvel movies haven’t happened to him yet.

This Loki finds himself brought before the Time Variance Authority, a bureaucratic organization that monitors and tries to prevent disruptions in the timeline. TVA employees include analysts such as Mobius M. Mobius (Owen Wilson), “hunters” such as B-15 (Mosaku) and judges such as Ravonna Renslayer (Mbatha-Raw).

“She’s a powerful woman,” said Mbatha-Raw of her character. “She’s had a military background. She started off as a hunter and worked her way up to being a judge, the most powerful woman in the TVA. For me, thinking about that background was interesting; working on the physicality of somebody that has high status, but also knows how to move and fight. Renslayer is definitely on equal footing — if not superior footing — to most of the men in the show.”

This is particularly true for Mobius M. Mobius, since Renslayer works closely with him as his tough-but-fair boss.

“Owen is such a gifted actor especially with comedy, it was a delightful fun dynamic to be the straight woman to his mischief and his maverick ways as an agent,” she said.

When Renslayer is impatient with the roguish Loki, Wilson’s character has a soft spot for him. “It was fun, that push and pull — because Owen’s character is also trying to get a bit more leniency out of Renslayer, as far as Loki is concerned,” Mbatha-Raw said.

Mbatha-Raw rose to prominence starring in the 2013 period drama “Belle” and the Emmy-winning 2016 “Black Mirror” episode “San Junipero,” about two women who meet in a simulated town. She’s also appeared on “Doctor Who” and the Apple TV+ talk show drama “The Morning Show,” but “Loki” marks her entrance into the superhero sphere.

She said she had to study up to join the world of caped crusaders.

“I was obviously aware of the films and the huge influence that they’ve had on popular culture, and I was aware of Loki and that character. But I did have to do some catching up in terms of watching the films … as I was sort of starting a bit more from the beginning,” she said.

“I haven’t had much time to watch that much, because I’m busy making TV!”

Her whirlwind career is showing no signs of ebbing, as she’s currently working on two more high-profile projects in addition to “Loki.”

Upcoming shows include “The Girl Before” — a four-part psychological thriller with David Oyelowo — and another called “Surface” for Apple. “I’m really excited about that,” Mbatha-Raw said.

But she can’t wait for fans to dive into the mind-bending fun of “Loki.”

“The TVA is a whole other side of the multiverse that hasn’t been seen before onscreen,” she said. “So it was exciting to see that there really is just so much potential and so many layers to the universe. There’s so many surprises and twists and turns in store — I’m excited for people to discover them. It’s going to be mind-blowing.”

#loki #loki series #gugu mbatha raw #ravonna renslayer #article #new your post

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thecatsaesthetics · 3 years

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Anne Boleyn 2021 Review

Okay, so I want to start this off by saying I am a day late and a dollar short. I know that. Who wants my, over thousand-word, essay on this... but I've gonna give it to you. So please keep reading and leave me comments with your thoughts about this show.

So I will start this off with the positives:

I think Jodie Turner-Smith was excellently cast as Anne Boleyn. Jodie has a remarkable range as an actress. Especially since this version of Anne Boleyn, she is both victim and villain Jodie was able to pull it off flawlessly. She jumped from being a heartbroken wife to manipulating Henry VIII very well. Two scenes that really highlight this are:

The one after her miscarriage and Henry riding off; showed Anne’s desperation and sorrow very well. “Won’t you say goodbye to your wife?” was a heartbreaking line and I very nearly lost it when she collapsed.

The second was in the next episode where she manipulated herself back into his “good graces” by proposing Cromwell had been double-crossing him. This didn’t come across as villainous to me, it came across as a woman in a struggle for survival. Playing the game to keep her station after miscarriage.

I will say this about the show Jodie carried it on her back. She made Anne very sympathetic but highlight that she had this temper that harmed her. However, unlike Claire Foy’s Anne Boleyn I never felt this Anne was unlikable. She came across as someone struggling to survive. The scene with Mary after she learns of potentially Mary being reinstated in the line of succession also highlighted this. The whole "The King never likes to be without me for long" was a lie given he had left her but it was to puff up her station. Reminding Norfolk that she helped his daughter marry the King's son. Forcing Chapuys to kiss her hand. These weren't just power moves, they were survival moves.

This Anne was similar to Natalie Dormer’s Anne in season 2 of the Tudor and Geneviève Bujold in Anne of a Thousand Days. I enjoyed how Jodie both made the performance utterly her own but also obviously drew inspiration from the others.

Moving on,

Another positive was George and Anne’s relationship. I did like how touching their scenes were. The final meeting between George and Anne was heartbreaking.

The horse symbolism, while oddly ripped off from The Tudor’s swan symbolism what I liked. Also, the clock from King Francis implying the “Her time is up” I truly enjoyed. I am just a sucker for symbolism

The Norris Comment

I LOVED THIS. I loved how not only it was said, Anne being flirtatious and joking but the immediate drop. This was the moment Anne truly screwed up. I loved how Norris reacted and the reactions of everyone in the room. This comment is oddly overlooked by most productions of Anne Boleyn or Henry VIII. From what I have read it was an incredibly important comment that was made by Anne. This in combination with her final miscarriage left her in a dangerous position.

Now to a more mixed feeling:

Henry and Anne’s relationship:

On the one hand, I liked it, it showed they were still into each other a lot. This is unlike The Tudors where Henry VIII weirdly loses all sexual interest in Anne (but somehow still expects her to have a baby). Most productions show Anne and Henry’s marriage crumbling the second she has Elizabeth which just isn’t true. I also liked how the miscarriage alone didn’t cause Anne’s downfall, which is usually how it’s done.

That being said the physical violence… Henry VIII was a lot of things but he really wasn’t a physically violent guy himself. He’d execute you but he was a coward about it. I think the one notable time Henry got physically violent with a wife is when he ordered a sword after discovering Katherine Howard’s prior “relationships” and people thought he was angry enough to execute her himself. Even with Jane Seymour, he seems more degrading of her at times than physically violent. Emotional violence was more Henry’s style.

I do understand that they were trying to show the relationship as chaotic, volatile, and unhealthy. However, I just didn’t think it was necessary to add physical violence to do this.

Now with the petty:

The costumes… were so god damn ugly. Just as a side note before we pass from the positives to the true negatives. I just don’t understand what goes through the minds of costume designers. Jodie is a beautiful actress and they put her in the ugliest of clothing.

I mean I have seen worse costumes. They weren't as bad as The White Princess or Wolf Hall. But I would put them alongside The White Queen honestly.

I don't think costumes must be accurate, but I want them to be pretty at least. If you aren't going to make them accurate can we at least have something interesting to look at?

The Negatives:

Jane Boleyn: Ummm I don’t know what to say other than this is fucking dumb. I mean I guess we should be glad there was no physical violence between George and Jane this time around. Other than that I don’t get it. We literally are three mins into episode one and they have Anne call Jane a “spiteful little bitch” why? Because she’s upset her husband is cheating on her? Like Anne is upset her husband is cheating on her? Why wouldn’t Anne sympathize with Jane if that were the case? Even if they wanted to make Jane Boleyn evil they did a bad job. Am I not supposed to have sympathy with the wife getting cheated on?

Also, Dan Jones should have his degree ripped from him. Dan Jones is an actual historian who is an executive producer on this show and he allowed them to have Jane be brought as a witness to Anne’s trial.

On that note let’s move to the Jousting Head Injury thing. Again Dan Jones should have his degree ripped from him. This event did not happen, at least not like this. You can watch Claire Ridgeway’s video on this but the historical records do not support Henry VIII being unconscious at all after this fall. And it was funny they had Chapuys heavily involved in these scenes since he never even wrote about this event. You’d think if it was that important he would have.

That gross miscarriage scene… for all that is holy I do not understand why we are getting these intense miscarriage scenes. The camera was literally between Jodie’s legs at one point. It was so nasty. The sounds… I just can’t. I won’t go into it further but I’d rather have Natalie’s Dormer’s implied miscarriages with just some bleeding then this shit any day.

Now before I tactical the racism I want to say the final episode was probably the weakest one. Anne’s trial… I hated it. I hated Anne speech it was way too much Feminism™. I would have rather had her execution speech or her confession with Crammer. I do get why they only chose to have one of these in the episode, it would totally over crowd the episode. That being said… not only was the directing weird in this scene the speech they wrote just was subpar at best.

The Racism:

Okay, I am going to try my best to tactical the racism in the show. Now I am white and I don’t want to say I should be speaking over ANYONE. Plenty of black Tudor fans have written this better than me.

However, two plot points on this show really struck me as racist.

Jane Seymour: the odd predator behavior Anne has around Jane Seymour. It must be noted that the age gap looks apparent on the screen. Jane’s actress is 25 and Jodie is 34. Jane looked like an innocent schoolgirl and the aggressive scenes with Anne made these seem incredibly predatory. In ALL other productions, I’ve seen this is never how Anne and Jane come across.

The weird kiss between them was both racist and homophobic. I think they said it was about Anne wanting to see the “appeal”. Again it just made her look predator. The worst scene was when she was circling Jane as she spoke a hymn. Honestly, they made Jodie look like a fucking shark in that scene. It was so nasty.

The second and less talked about was Anne and Kingston. I don’t get why nobody is talking about that disturbing scene where Kingston physically pushes Anne onto the bed and holds her there. It was utterly disturbing, and quite frankly I am shocked anyone found that appropriate. You cannot separate Anne being portrayed by Jodie, a black woman, and having a white man grip her head down on a bed saying “She’s only a woman” as an insult. It was incredibly disturbing.

Also in general having Kingston treats Anne so awful… when all other productions of Anne Boleyn have Kingston treat her remarkably well. Racism is implied here. Why in every other production Anne's ladies are kind and gentle to her, and Kingston is moved by her, but when it's Jodie he's physically brutalizing her?

I think there were obviously other incidents, including all the shit with George and Jane but I don’t feel that equipped to handle them. I just wanted to bring these two to light.

Overall:

Jodie was amazing, carried the show on her back. That’s kind of it. It was very subpar. For a show that claims in the beginning inspired by “The Truth… and lies,” it seems more inspired by lies than by any sort of truth.

I mean did we need another Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn TV show. Probably not. Which makes me feel sad. Jodie was so good. She truly pulls off regal. I want to see her in more period dramas. But other than that… 5.5 stars maybe?

#anne boleyn 2021 #anne boleyn #henry viii #jane seymour #tudors #jane boleyn #george boleyn

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sup-hoes-its-me · 4 years

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Wish You Were Here (Bakugo x Reader)

A/N: Bakugo x reader, extreme angsty vibes throughout. Pretty OOC i think. Had “Wish you were here” by neck deep in my mind while i wrote this. I cried, folks. Enjoy. (I headcanon that both Todoroki and Bakugo will do their work studies under Endeavour, btw)

word count: 6016

You could call them friends from the beginning, maybe a bit of anger and resentment bubbled up along the way, but how could it not with someone like Bakugo Katsuki in the mix. She never gave up on him though, knowing he would learn and grow into a better person one day. She waited patiently for the catalyst that would humble the boy, just enjoying the time she had with him each day at a time.

Whether he would admit it or not, he liked her company too. Through all the complaints and angry outbursts, he was always a bit scared that she would be pushed away. Yet time and time again, she forgave him. A few times, people had said to his face that he would never deserve Y/N’s friendship. She was so much better than him, he already knew that. And yeah, maybe he didn’t deserve her. She could be hanging out with someone like Midoriya and be happier than his bitter ass..

As he sat beside her in class, waiting for Aizawa to arrive, he couldn’t help but lose himself in thought.

“Katsuki-kun? You okay?” a soft voice asked. His eyes snapped to the side to see the girl forever on his mind, tapping the pages of their textbook with the end of her pen. Her eyes held curiosity more than any concern. Finding out what Bakugo was thinking about deep in the of his mind was always interesting.

He grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. “Yeah, I’m fine. You need something?”

“Not really, just wanted to see something other than a frown on your face, “ she chirped happily, making his cheeks turn a bit red from embarrassment. She always said things like that, all the while with her beautiful lips curled into a sweet smile and eyes half shut.

He had to admit, she was cute. Beautiful. Gorgeous. Whatever you want to call it. These feelings were...disgusting, he thought.

“Shut up, Y/N.”

“What?! I’m just saying you look ten times better when you’re smiling than scowling at the table like that.” she laughed, turning in her seat so her legs hung to the side and she faced him. Jokingly, she tapped her pen against his cheek and he sunk into his chair even more, trying to hide the mixture of embarrassment and excitement invading his expression.

“Y/N-chan, quit it. You’re getting on my nerves now.”

She sighed, leaning back into her personal bubble. “Next week we start our Hero Work-Studies! Aren’t you excited?”

He was actually very excited, even if he failed to express it. He was going to train under endeavour, someone who the public admired for his strength and resilience. Bakugo knew he wasn’t the nicest man-Todoroki had enough evidence to show for that...But that didn’t mean he would pass up the opportunity to learn his heroic ways.

“Yeah, who wouldn’t be?”

“I cannot believe Hawks agreed to work with me! Seriously! He’s one of the coolest out there, not to mention he’s so young and relatable to us. I’ve been jealous since Tokoyami-kun started to work with him. Like come on, I’m just as much bird as them.”

“Honestly, I’m surprised agencies waited this long to pick you. You didn’t do too bad at the Sports Festival last year.”

“It’s only because they were waiting to see me completely annihilate the competition this year. They couldn’t see my true potential then, but now everyone will know me!”

His lips lifted into just a sliver of a grin. She was kinda amazing when she got excited and confident. “No one can hold you back, Y/N-chan.”

“When we graduate, we will both be so strong we will have the best hero agencies.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

Y/N reached across to his desk once again, grabbing his hands tightly in hers. His eyes slid around the room quickly to see Kirishima and Denki wiggling his eyebrows in his direction. Stupid idiots. For some reason, the redhead had been trying to force them together in a romantic way for the past two years, and others slowly got in on the drama as well. Bakugo cursed at him in his head, glaring intensely for a short moment before turning back to the girl.

“I can’t help but be excited, Katsuki-kun. Being pro heroes has been our dream for as long as I can remember and now it’s finally happening.”

“Well, keep training hard and maybe you’ll get there one day. After all, the number 2 hero has already employed you-everything is gonna be easy after this.” He brushed off her hands and stood from his desk. “Gotta go to the bathroom.”

He didn’t actually have to go, he just wanted to escape that situation. He liked her a lot, and loved talking to her. It was so weird to him, how happy it made him to see her smile, laugh, and succeed at what she wanted. They were living out their dreams together, and it actually made him happy.

The only thing is, sometimes, it got to be too much. Just how much emotion she made him feel. He was frustrated at times, and he didn’t know why. All he knew was that he wanted to be around her all the time. He always wanted her to be by his side. She made life easier for him. He could control his temper, but only around her.

He sighed, slouching against the wall outside the classroom. Aizawa still wasn’t there, so he had some time to relax. Only, he couldn’t because Kirishima waltzed out just to stand right next to him.

“What do you want, hedgehog hair?”

“When you gonna ask out L/N, huh?” he asked abruptly. “I see the way you two make oogly eyes at each other all day and you being a chicken is so frustrating, bro.”

“That’s none of your business, but to answer your question: never. She’s my friend.”

“Come on, I’m just trying to help you out, dude. Seriously, make a move.”

“Definitely not.”

“Bruh…”

“Listen, maybe I do like her, okay? But that doesn’t mean I’m willing to date her. Relationships just seem so irritating.”

Kirishima laughed, throwing his arm around the hothead’s shoulders. “Trust me, when you kiss her for the first time, you’ll regret not asking her out before.” Bakugo threw his arm off his shoulder and scowled, disgusted by his bluntness. Sure, he had thought about kissing Y/N before, but he never really wanted to act on it that strongly. He especially did not like talking about his feelings.

He walked back into the classroom, redhead close behind. Now, he would act like nothing was even discussed. He didn’t need this drama right now. He just wanted to keep Y/N happy, and she was more than happy to be his best friend.

Trying to be anything more with her would be a mistake.

______________________________

“We’re not supposed to be out this late, Y/N. Do you want to tarnish your perfect record?” the boy asked as she pulled him up the flights of stairs, their feet slapping against the concrete as they ran. She held his warm hand in her smaller, cold one. It was late when she texted him to meet her at the front door, about 2 in the morning. She was lucky he wasn’t sleeping, but she knew he stayed up most nights on his computer anyway.

She took him to the training grounds and pulled him into the biggest building there. His stomach churned with excitement. He loved to be alone with her, especially at night when her quirk was at full power. Her soft wings, although tucked tight against her back, brushed against him and it sent shivers down his spine. So soft.

When they reached the roof, she pushed open the heavy, creaky metal doors. The moon shone so brightly in the sky right above them, illuminating her face in white light. He stared at her as she walked to the bench at the edge of the roof. She was more beautiful than anything he had ever seen before. Her wings expanded as she walked, the moon making them shimmer and glow like silver.

He took a seat beside her on the bench and followed her eyes which stared deep into the night sky, all the stars and the moon. “Don’t you love it?”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know, to be honest. Just the mood of a winter moon.”

He rolled his eyes. Sometimes she didn’t make sense to him, but that was okay. “Not really.”

“I guess everyone feels differently about things.”

He sighed, leaning back with his arms behind his head and stretched, only to drop them weakly back to his sides. She was so in touch with things he’d never even thought about. She could see the bright side of everything, obviously since she saw the good in someone like him. “I don’t get you sometimes, Y/N. You seem to know everything about me, and you get how I feel, but I have a hard time wrapping my mind around yours.”

She laughed, warm breath clouding in front of her lips. “I can understand your anger, because people genuinely are annoying a lot of the time. But you can’t understand how it feels to be content with what you have. You always want something better, to be stronger or braver than the rest. You can’t comprehend what it’s like to be happy with the best you can do.” Her hand stretched across the bench they sat on, and her fingertips grazed his. Slowly, she slipped her hand under his, relishing in the warmth for as long as he would allow.

His fingers hesitantly wrapped around her hand, holding tightly as if she would take it away from him. Her hands were always so cold, he remarked, feeling a shiver run down his spine at the feeling.

“I’ll never be good enough, Y/N. I can’t settle as third best to Deku, or even Todoroki. It just pisses me off that they are better than me.”

“Maybe you aren’t as strong as them right now, and maybe you will never be,” she hummed, feeling his intense glare shift in her direction. Her lips curled into a smile despite this. “But to me, you’ll never be second best. You’re my number one hero, forever and always.”

His heart skipped a beat at her words.

“I’ve known you for so long, and having seen how you are when you’re vulnerable shows me that you are good. You are a hero no matter what people think. There’s no need to take it out on your classmates because they could never compare in my eyes. You are you, and they are themselves. Everyone can have a piece of the glory in the end, even someone as weak as me.”

“You’re not weak, you know.”

With a shrug, she let out a long sigh, “Not really, but thanks.”

“How can you not see how strong you are? You’re on your way to being the sidekick for Hawks. If anything, you’re better than me. You think so highly of me but shit on yourself.”

“I’m not shitting on myself at all. I’m being realistic. I’m okay with being a background character, Katsuki-kun.”

“Whatever. Just know you aren’t a background character to me. Everyone else, fuck them. Just you and me matter.”

Silence overtook the bitter cold air, only gusts of wind to be heard. She let her head fall to the side, temple pressed gently to his shoulder. He was tense beneath her, but that was expected. He wasn’t cuddly by any means; he didn’t even like hugs...But, she felt safe pressed to his side, hand in hand.

“Do you think we’ll be friends forever?” she asked suddenly.

He glared at her once again, not knowing why she asked such a stupid question. “What do you think?”

“I promise, no matter what, I’ll never leave you. I won’t give up on you.” The confession only made him feel hot. His hands clammed up with sweat, and he worried she would pull her hand away. She didn’t. “Sure, I get along with other people just fine, but if I’m being honest, all I’ll ever need is you.”

“Y/N-”

The girl didn’t stop to let him speak, the words flowing from her mouth without hesitation. There were so many things she had to say, thousands of words she could use to tell him how much she felt for him. “I think we were meant to meet each other. You and I have something special. It was fate that we ended up here.”

“Come on, that’s kinda crazy, don’t you think?” he argued, trying to make this less awkward. He could feel his heart racing, sweat pooling up, and his cheeks turning a deep shade of red. He liked what she was saying, but it was too much for him. He wasn’t into pouring out his feelings like she was. He was confused, honestly, how to express himself without sounding lame.

“I should have probably told you this a long time ago, but I guess now is just as good as any.” Deep breath in, shallow breath out. “I love you. I think I’ve always loved you, but now I know for sure.”

He couldn’t say anything. He could feel her hurt, the pain of rejection radiating off. No words would come out of his mouth, nothing but hot air. How was he supposed to reply? He felt shocked and embarrassed.

Her hand slid out from his grasp and she stood from her spot on the bench, her vibrant wings wrapping protectively around her torso. Her eyes were filled with regret and shame, but the smile never faltered. She never stopped smiling, even in moments like this. He wanted to tell her it was okay to be upset, that he didn’t mind comforting her. It just wasn’t the right time, he convinced himself. She would walk away and he would be alone in this cold..

“I’m sorry. Let’s just forget about this.”

He nodded, not daring to meet her eyes. He couldn’t stand seeing the hurt he caused her. And she walked away.

Maybe he did love her all along. She was the one good thing in his whole life, and maybe he threw that away by not saying anything. He could feel his stomach knotting up and his chest burned with every breath he took. Is this what it felt like to be heartbroken, completely hopeless to the whims of love so deep?

He pressed his face into his rough hands, groaning into them angrily. Why did he do this to himself? Why couldn’t he just be happy for once in his life? Why couldn’t he let something good slip its way into his life. He hated himself for everything. For being stubborn and rude all the time. For hurting the feelings of the only person who really cared about him. For throwing away what they could have had. He was just so fucking scared of these unfamilar emotions, it overwhelmed him.

So he got up, and he ran. He rushed down the metal staircase with such urgency that he almost fell face first down a couple flights. He couldn’t hear her footsteps in the metal stairwell, and it only made him hurry faster.

But she was gone. He missed his chance.

_____________________________________

“Why aren’t you dancing with Y/N?” Kirishima asked, deciding to take a break from dancing with Ashido and other friends to visit the awkward and angry blond pressed against the wall. For some reason, all the third years were practically forced to come to a dance to celebrate the holidays. To Bakugo, well, he thought it was a load of bullshit.

He glared over at his classmate. “What do you mean?”

“It’s just I thought you would come to this thing together. You’re really close.”

“Shit happens.”

Kirishima bit his lip, knowing it wasn’t just that. Something happened between the pair. It was their business only, and he wouldn’t pry (no matter how badly he wanted in on the drama). He couldn’t help but say something after seeing Bakugo standing by the punch bowl for nearly an hour and Y/N playing on her phone at one of the tables instead of having fun. It just didn’t seem right to let them ruin their night.

“Well, you have to fix that shit, bro.”

It was quiet for a second, and the redhead worried he may have struck a nerve somehow.

The blond turned his eyes away from his friend to glance at the girl, who was hunched over a table with her nose in her phone. Earlier, he swore people were sitting with her; they must have left to actually enjoy the dance. Honestly, he felt a bit angry at the others for just leaving her like that, not that he was any better. For a week now, he hadn’t even looked her in the eye.

“You think I should go talk to her?”

“Yeah, probably.”

He didn’t bother saying goodbye, just mumbled a reluctant ‘thanks’ as he shuffled through the dozens of students herded in the center of the gymnasium. Not until he was a few feet in front her table did she notice him staring her down. A small smile perked at the corner of her soft lips, but they both knew it was fake as hell.

“Aren’t you gonna go and have fun or some shit?”

She shrugged, not knowing what to say, “I’m not really feeling the vibe, I guess.” If she were being honest, she just wanted to stay home curled up in her warm bed in the dark. Her chest ached seeing him and hearing his voice. They were friends after all; she really shouldn’t feel like this. It was her fault for confessing her feelings to someone so stubborn and distant.

He shuffled nervously, his hands now tucked deep in his pants pockets. His cheeks threatened to betray him once again and stain red, but thankfully it was too dark for anyone to notice. When did he get all shy like this? It was honestly pathetic. This was 100 percent Deku behavior, and he did not approve.

“You wanna ditch this loser-fest with me?”

Should she? Her heart was still healing, but the temptation was too strong. Damn, even after only a week, she missed him so much. With a soft nod, she stood up from the creaky metal chair. The sidedoor thankfully wasn’t guarded by teachers keeping them from leaving so they snuck outside quietly. Immediately, both of them felt relieved to be away from the energy in there. Sweaty teenagers dancing, loud, shitty music blasting, and annoying flashing lights left behind them.

“Where do you want to go? It’s your choice.”

“Let’s just go to our normal place.”

The walk was silent once again as they made their way to the tall building where everything went down just a week ago. It was still cold, and when they got to the rooftop, the cold wind stung against her exposed skin. Her wings were quick to encase her in their warmth.

She brushed off the bench and took a seat on the far right side. He slouched onto the left side, keeping his head hung as to avoid her gaze. He was still so afraid, no matter what happened. She was clearly upset with him, and it filled him with so much guilt and regret. For a moment, he dared to look at her. Her eyes were trained on the sky, staring off into the stars and moon like always.

“You know, it’s been a little hard to smile lately.” Her words crashed into him.

“I…” Bakugo started but couldn’t think of the right words. “Yeah, I know.”

“I really thought you felt the same way. Maybe that just sounds naive of me, but what you and I had was special. Everyone said so, and I just got a little too confident, I guess,” she confessed with a soft, empty laugh. “My mom kept telling me that you would ask me out, and that we would grow up to be super strong heroes together. She always said, ever since middle school that we were gonna get married. It’s so, so stupid, I know.”

“Y/N, I’m just a fucking coward. That’s the whole reason we are in this mess.”

He met her eyes, ones filled with surprise. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, that everything you said was right. That we are meant to be together or whatever sappy stuff you said. I’ve been so depressed since that night, and I’m so mad at myself for acting so stupid,” he muttered angrily, fists clenching over and over in his lap. “I think I do love you. I’m not sure how it’s supposed to feel but I just want to be with you. I don’t want you ever leaving my side.”

“You’re not just saying that to be nice?”

“When have I ever been nice?”

She laughed, scooting over to sit right beside him. He could feel the heat radiating off her skin, and it made him feel more comfortable then he’d felt in a while. Looking down at her, his eyes trailed onto her lips which were just barely agape. They looked sweet, so soft and plump and beautiful.

When she noticed him staring, she knew what he was thinking. Without warning, Y/N tilted her head up to press her lips softly against his. Her hands rose to rest on both sides of his face gently, just enough to pull him in even closer. Her lips moved so slowly against his lips; it was agonizing. He wanted more and more, to pull her close to his lips and devour her. It was only one kiss, but he knew he was addicted already.

His first kiss. Kirishima was right. How did he go so long without her lips on his?

She pulled away just enough to so she could speak, noses touching and foreheads pressed together. “I love you, Katsuki.”

“I think I might love you more.”

_____________________________________

“Something happened to Hawks. We have to go now.”

At first, Bakugo didn’t even connect Hawks to his girlfriend, who was working under his guidance the past year. As they rushed into the district under attack, the adrenaline of the fight made him feel high. He loved this. Being a real hero, saving people and having people look to him as if he were amazing. His quirk was quite flashy and people enjoyed seeing him work.

The street was in complete and utter disarray. People were hiding in what buildings they could, quivering from the rogue villain storming through the streets. Hawks couldn’t keep up. No matter how great he was, it could be hard and nearly impossible to battle in close combat. His wings ran thin as well.

So it was time for backup.

Todoroki ran a few yards ahead of him, eyes focused and calm. He was different from the rest of them. He was almost noble. His morals were strict, and he never seemed to lose his cool. As much as it pained Bakugo to say it, Todoroki deserved one of the top spots, maybe even higher than him.

It wasn’t until they turned a corner that the mood changed. The icy hot hero faltered, falling back a couple feet to stumble into his teammate.

“What the hell-”

“Bakugo, stop. Don’t go any further.” He held a firm hand to Bakugo’s shoulder, but his attempts were futile. Bakugo wouldn’t let anyone hold him back.

“Idiot, there’s no time to fuck around. Let me through.” As his eyes peered over Todoroki’s shoulder at the street ahead, he caught sight of a featherless wing that had been torn to shreds poking out from the rubble. Silver and grey feathers littered the entire street. His breath hitched in his throat. He didn’t know for sure what it was under those rocks, could just be a bird, right? Just some random fucking bird. That’s all.

It couldn’t be.

“Bakugo-”

The blond pushed past him, stumbling over his own feet as he recklessly ran through the rocks. It only got worse when he saw blood splattered across the pavement. It was getting more and more obvious what had happened here, but he denied it over and over in his head. There was no way it was her. She was strong, her mentor was even stronger, one of the very best. There’s no way he would have let something happen to his prodigy.

But just behind the rocks laid her body. Blood seeped heavily from the back of her head, and her hair was matted with the thick liquid which had dried to a deep brown. Her wings were sparse, if even there, only a dozen or so feathers on each side, blood coating them as well.

“No, no, no.”

He fell to his knees beside her body. Her eyes stared up at him, empty and lifeless; they were so cold like something out of a nightmare. When he reached down to lift her body up from the ground, he shivered at the lack of warmth from her skin. He propped her up on his knees, one arm supporting her back and neck. His other hand slid across her face, smearing blood on her cheek.

“Y/N? You better wake the fuck up,” he whimpered, shaking her body as if that would somehow help. “Wake up, baby, please get up. Stop, god, please stop being stupid”

Todoroki approached him from behind, sitting next to him on the bloody ground. His eyes stared at the cold body, haunted by the face of his friend, someone he grew up beside these 3 years, limp and dead. He looked over to Bakugo, who he knew to be attached at the hip with the girl for who knows long. He had never seen the boy cry, but he sensed the tears starting to boil over.

Hopelessly, he continued to shake her softly. “Y/N-chan, please. Please wake up. God, please wake up. I can’t do this without you. Please, please, please.” His desperate begs fell on deaf ears though. No amount of pleading could change her fate, and both of them knew that.

“Let’s bring her body to the medics, okay? Maybe they can help,” Todoroki soothed, placing a gentle hand on Bakugo’s shoulder. He knew it was useless. She was dead, but the thought of her maybe having a chance made it easier for Bakugo. The blond could only nod, still staring down at his lover through clouded, teary eyes. He lifted her into his arms, cradling her head to his chest.

Bakugo couldn’t stop crying. He just sobbed, continuing to quietly beg the girl to wake up, cursing and choking on his grief.

Todoroki knew they might be scolded later by his father for not helping in the battle, but this was one of the rare cases they could put aside being heroes and let someone else take over. The grief was too heavy of a burden to fight anyway.

She was gone, and there was nothing anyone could do about it.

_____________________________________

Bakugo was different after the accident, maybe even worse than before in a way. He didn’t yell at nearly as many people anymore, usually staying silent even if someone offended him. He was fond of walking away now, from anything and everything that pissed him off. It was like he didn’t have the energy to fight back anymore.

It was depressing to those who noticed the little things he often did. Shinsou, who recently joined the hero course, sat in the seat beside Bakugo, where Y/N used to sit. Everytime he thought of something funny to say, a joke to crack about Midoriya or something in their lesson, he looked to the side for Y/N. Every time though, he met with the unamused, dark circles of the boy. His cheeky smile would fall into a deep grimace every time.

He looked for her when he was upset, not knowing how to channel his negative emotions anymore. He yearned to sit in her dorm at night and hug her until he fell asleep. He looked for her in the hallways and every crowd he passed, just praying that miraculously she was alive again, that this was all some sick dream.

It hurt to be reminded time and time again that she was gone. Y/N was never coming back, the words echoed in his mind every day. She was dead, brutally died at the hands of a villain, He could picture her body, disfigured and lying in the street, blood soaking the pavement. He never got to say goodbye either.

Her mentor apologized time and time again to her family and her friends, guilt heavy on his back. He never imagined her, someone so strong and powerful to die, especially under his supervision. Hawks would never take another student as his apprentice, he couldn’t, not for a long time.

Nowadays, the class almost felt like they missed his hotheaded nature. He was just depressing now, and it killed the mood. Y/N was the only one who could make him smile.

He walked down the hall alone, heading back to the dorms once again after a long day of feeling sick to his stomach with a massive headache pulsing in his temples. Footsteps caught up to speed with him, and he peeked over his shoulder to see Midoriya, followed by his precious little girlfriend.

A sour taste filled Bakugo’s mouth. He could tolerate the others. Todoroki, Denki, Kirishima. But he really didn’t want to talk to these two. Anyone but them.

“Bakugo, wait up!” Deku called, not that the blond listened. He kept walking, trying not to explode on the guy. Couldn’t they tell that he just wanted to be alone? “We have to talk to you, just wait and listen.”

“What do you want?”

“Bakugo, are you okay?” Uraraka asked softly, and he grit his teeth.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You don’t seem fine,” Deku argued, grabbing Bakugo’s forearm after catching up. Angrily, he yanked his arm away from the boy, and took a few steps away from the pair, glaring at them as if a single look could drive them away. “Listen, we know how you are feeling. We all miss L/N. She was a great friend.”

That was the tipping point for him. How could they compare their pain to his? It pissed him off.

“Oh, fuck you. Fuck you both, really.”

“Stop acting like you’re the only one hurt by this. I grew up with Y/N, too. If you have to mourn, let other people do it with you. It makes it easier.”

“You know as well as I do that you didn’t care about her as much as me. None of you knew her like I did,” he muttered, trying his best not to let the tears fall again, or the stutter in his voice to reveal itself. He wasn’t weak. He was fucking mourning. “Think of it like this, okay? What if someone were to kill Uraraka right now? Imagine having to look into her dead, lifeless eyes. Imagine seeing the entire street splashed with her blood. Imagine reaching down to hug her only to feel icy cold skin against yours, and her face is green and grey like some kind of monster, not your precious Ochako. And there is nothing you can do. Not a damn thing.”

And to that, the pair of do-gooders had nothing to say.

“It’s all I can fucking think about. I can’t even fall asleep without seeing her dead eyes staring back at me. I miss her so much, and none of you can understand.”

“I’m sorry. We know she meant a lot to you.”

“She was all that I had! She was the only person who ever made me really feel something, anything other than anger. I loved her more than anything and she loved me back,” he choked on his words, tears welling up in his eyes. “She was my baby. My beautiful princess. I don’t know how to function without her.”

Uraraka sighed, trying to find something good in all of this despite there being nothing at all. “She’s in a better place, Bakugo.”

He clutched at his shirt right over his heart, which beat rapidly in his chest. “But a better place is right here with me! We belong together, not apart. It wasn’t supposed to be like this,” he cried, unable to bite back his tears. “I’ve called her phone a million times since she died, just so I can hear her voice. I’m terrified that one day her phone will be shut off forever and I’ll forget what she sounds like.”

Her clutched at his shirt tightly, feeling pain in his chest again. He felt like he was having a heart attack. Sometimes the heartbreak was so strong.

“All these pictures on my phone of her, they just remind me that she’s never coming back! She’s gone forever, and I don’t know what to do. How do I make it stop hurting so fucking much? I feel like I’m dying, god it hurts.”

Sobs shook his body as he hid his face behind the crook in his elbow, trying to sop up all the tears. But, he knew they wouldn’t stop. He didn’t know why he was telling them this, revealing this side of himself in front of them, but he hadn’t had the time to vent about the whole situation.

“The last thing she said to me was that she loved me,” he cried, pressing his arm to his lips and sobbing into them. He was hysterical, especially for someone so brutal like him. “I’ll never get to tell her I love her ever again. We will never get married. Become pro heroes together like we always wanted. I’ll never get to see her smile or hug her against my chest again. It’s all over, dammit.”

“Bakugo, I’m so sorry. If you need anyone, we’re here for you.”

“I just miss her so fucking much.”

A heavy hand fell on his shoulder, and he turned his head to see who it was. “Bakugo, listen to me for a minute. Wipe up your tears for a second,” the deep, tired voice demanded. Sad, exhausted eyes stared down at him, but he could feel the empathy their teacher held.

“Aizawa-sensei?”

“The only thing that can help you now is time,” he explained. “We risk a lot as pro-heros. It’s gonna hurt a lot for now, maybe forever, I don’t know. But the only thing you can do is let time pass and the pain in your heart will dull.”

“I just feel so pathetic. I can’t help but think it should have been me. I wish it was the other way around so badly. I should have died instead, so she could be happy.”

“Do you really think Y/N would’ve been happy if she lost you? You think she wouldn’t cry everyday, and hug your pillows and clothes just to feel close to you again? For her to suffer? Really? If you really loved Y/N, you wouldn’t consider breaking her heart like that.”

“I-I…” Bakugo choked. “What do I do now?”

“What you need to do is make Y/N proud. She would want the best for you. All she ever wanted was to see you smile after all.” Aizawa was right, no matter how hard it was to accept the fact. Bakugo would have to live for Y/N.

#bakugo katsuki #bakugo #bakugo one shot #bakugo x reader #bnha x reader #boku no hero academia #boku no hero academia x reader #my hero academia x reader #my hero academia #my hero imagines #bakugo imagine #angst #sad bakugo #ooc

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the-chick-of-the-air · 4 years

Text

A Quiet Kind Of Sad

Summary: Cardan is feeling a bit neglected and it makes him sad. Jude is there to make him feel better. Rating: G

Cardan was sad

That may sound ridiculous, even silly. But the truth was, even the High King of Elfhame felt blue every now and again.

Especially when the cause for such feelings were brought on by those closest to him.

It had started with The Roach.

The spy had arranged for an early sly-footing lesson with the King when out of no where he had to “reschedule”. Normally this wouldn’t have bothered Cardan, but he had been slightly anxious that morning (Jude hadn’t been in bed when he woke. Rather a flimsy piece of parchment stating she’d gone with The Bomb to scout out a potential threat lay in her stead. He very much loved waking up to the warmth of his wife next to him, thank you very much.) and he’d been looking forward to distracting himself with some lessons. Alas, that fell through.

In an even worse mood then normal, Cardan decided to show up to the council meeting scheduled for that afternoon. He still detested the things, but Jude was out (which made it even worse, the only reprieve he found during meetings such as these were when he had his wife firmly by his side) and she would want him to go for the both of them.

This brought on a whole new level of irritation, as none of the council members took him seriously in the first place. Without Jude to steer the ship that was this mess of a meeting, things had quickly spiraled out of hand and ended in a wreck. And of course, no one had deigned to listen to anything the High King had to say, which only further upset him.

He left the council room fuming, with no recollection of anything that was said- it had all been useless pecking anyway, but still- and Cardan had found himself in desperate need of two things, a breather and his Queen.

Thankfully, she had returned sometime during the meeting. She would need a break after all that sleuthing as well, right?

Wrong, apparently.

Cardan had all but burst into his wife’s study, intent in asking-begging, if need be- her to take a walk with him around the gardens. Surely she wouldn’t deny him that? Usually when they were separated for more then half a day they would get agitated without one another. Cardan would dare say it vital to all those who lived in Elfhame to ensure their rulers spent as much time together as possible.

Confidant that he would finally find some solace with his favorite person, he finally got to her and reached out to pull her into himself.

And she immediately moved away from him.

A sharp pang-that he would never admit to…probably- tore into Cardan’s chest. Why had she done that?

Though, he supposed, she had looked distracted, probably didn’t even notice his presence, so caught up in whatever document she was reading as she was. And maybe he’d gotten to good at sly-footing and she hadn’t heard him?

Geared with this hope, Cardan had moved in again, this time aiming to kiss her cheek. That would for sure get her attention-he was proud to say he was the only one allowed to kiss her face without consequences!- however as soon as he got close enough to brush his lips to her skin, she turned from him, murmuring, “Hi. Sorry, busy.”

Bus- what?

Cardan had practically deflated. Normally he’d simply grab her head and press kiss after kiss to her face until he got a laugh or a good natured scowl or something out of her.

But he was always in a good mood when he did that.

Now, he’d felt the final blow of the long beating that this day has doled out to him. And he couldn’t take it anymore. He found himself wilting as he thought back over every interaction he’d had that day. Thought of how The Roach had given no explanation as to his sudden disappearing act. Thought of how the Living Council had argued over his orders and drowned out his words until he had no choice but to remain silent. Thought of how even some servants had been eyeing him with an air of cool distrust that day.

And now his own wife, the one person, the one love he was certain he would be freely granted, especially when everyone else pushed him away, was shutting him out.

With a start, Cardan wondered if this was his doing. He frantically wracked his own mind, searching through his memory of the last few days, trying to find his mistake, his misstep. What had he done to incite such cold reactions from his closest company? What did he do to deserve this?

He came up short, but surely he’d done something wrong, at least in their eyes?

Almost too afraid of the answer he would receive, Cardan decided to ask what he’d originally set out to ask Jude for, desperately hoping this was all in his head, “I simply thought I would request a few moments of your time, dear Jude,” he’d bit out against his growing hurt, “A walk around the gardens, perhaps? I find myself in sore need of a break. Surely you would like a moment to yourself as well?”

Jude hadn’t even looked up, “I’m fine but you can go. I’ll see you later.”

Right, then. It appeared his time had been wasted in pursuit of trying to spend it with those who obviously didn’t want his company.

Nodding once, Cardan turned as quickly and as gracefully as he could and all but ran from the room.

He ignored the stares he revived from servants and loitering courtiers alike as he fled to the safety of his chambers-of their chambers. Once inside, he slammed the doors shut and willed a few throned vines to grow tightly over them.

And without further fanfare, he flung himself onto the oversized bed and cried.

So yes. Cardan was sad. And lonely. He could only assume that his closest companions aversion to spending time with him stemmed from their joint displeasure with him. Though what they were displeased about was a horrible mystery to him.

Perhaps he just wasn’t interesting enough for them any longer. Maybe he had done something to elicit subtle anger from everyone-well, the council wasn’t very subtle in their feelings, but The Roach and his lovely Jude had mastered the art of silent seething- it could be that everyone was just tired of him, he did have the remarkable ability to drive people away very quickly. Even those loyal to him eventually found cause for abandoning him.

He cried a little harder.

Rather then further trying to puzzle out why everyone hated him that day, Cardan simply allowed himself the small luxury of just feeling. Just accepting the tears as they slipped down his cheeks. He found it was ok to be sad, so long as you had a sound reason.

He was a bit lost in his own sorrows-mainly trying to ward off harsh memories of a mother who never wanted him and didn’t bother to hide it- so he didn’t immediately notice when someone entered the room.

After the footsteps registered, it wasn’t hard to figure out just who had been able to get through those vines.

Jude frowned when she entered their chambers. She’d had trouble remembering Cardan’s demeanor when he’d attempted to…what had he been in her study for? She had been so caught up in correspondence that she’d failed to really register what he had wanted. She’d figured if he hadn’t pressed the matter then it must not have been that important.

That pretense flew out the window when she reached the chamber doors.

They were bolted shut from the inside. It’d taken her a few moments and the use of her power-which she was still learning to use in its full capacity- to realize that the object blocking the doors was a thick group of thorny vines. She willed them to wither and made her way inside.

Pointless to say, she was slightly stunned when she heard sniffling coming from their bed. Was…was her husband crying?

Despite it not being very loud, nor dramatic-which was concerning, as drama was his go-to emotion- the sound tugged at something in her chest. She found herself hurting for her love, even though she’d had yet to find what ailed him.

She was about to ask-softly and sweetly because he was upset enough to be weeping- what was wrong when she caught herself.

She remembered his question. The way he’d asked her to take a break with him. It was as if the sound of him breaking down slapped the memory back into her.

He’d sounded agitated, upset, even. And didn’t he usually latch onto her as a way of greeting? He hadn’t- …yes. Yes he had. He’d reached out for her and she’d absentmindedly brushed him away, focused on her work as she was.

And, when trying to figure out why else he would be moved to tears-surely her unintentional rejection alone hadn’t pushed him over the edge- she recalled The Roach offhandedly mentioning he’d had to cancel her husband’s sly-footing lesson that morning due to a personal matter. Cardan must have taken it the wrong way.

Randalin had also stopped her in the hall, snidely commenting that her presence at the council meeting had been missed. Cardan hated those things on a good day.

She was an idiot. Her husband had been having a rough day and she’d ignored him in favor of work. Normally he would be fine with that-he always told her he adored the way she got lost in ruling the kingdom now and again- but he’d obviously been upset from the very start of the day.

Jude wasn’t one to coddle, normally. But the High King so rarely showed his vulnerability like this. And the fact that there wasn’t a single flask of alcohol in sight proved how serious this was. It may have not seemed big, but his feelings were valid, at least to her.

A sigh escaped her as she quickly made her way over to her husband. His eyes were open but staring blankly at the wall. A pillow-hers, she noted- was tucked in the crook of his arm, hiding half his face since he was laying on his stomach. Tears streaked his cheeks and dampened her pillow.

She said nothing, knowing words wouldn’t fix this. Mortals could lie, and if he was this down, he’d surely believe anything that came out of her mouth was nothing but false. Actions would have to speak for her.

She leaned over and kissed his bare shoulder. Her fingers found their way into his hair and she gently tugged at his curls when he buried his face in the pillow.

I’m sorry. She hoped the potency of that one thought seeped into his skin where her lips touched, hoped he could feel her asking for forgiveness for making him feel like this. Long past were the days where they derived any sort of pleasure for hurting each other emotionally. Now, any pain one felt was shared with the other, in sync and in love as they were.

Silently she slipped into the bed with him and wrapped her arms securely around him, leaving no room for doubt about how badly she wanted to be near him.

He shuddered, silent cries still wracking his body, and burrowed closer to her, wrapping his arms around her waist and burying his face in her chest. His tail wrapped tightly around her calf. Her shirt was wet in seconds. That was ok though, because her face was wet with her own tears.

She hadn’t meant to hurt him. And she desperately hoped he knew that, could sense her regret for neglecting him when he was obviously going through a tough time.

After a moment, his tears finally subsided. And Jude spoke before he had the chance to feel embarrassed or ridiculous about showing a normal emotion. Placing a kiss to his head she whispered,

“We can go on that walk now”.

His only response was to pull her closer.

Might do a part two where Jude knows from the beggining that he’s upset and we get a bit more insight to how they spend their time together while they are just comforting each other. As always, let me know what you guys think ❤️

Tag-list: (please let me know if you would like to be added to my tag list and I’ll be happy to add you🥰)

@maleckanejnessianjurdansolangelo @woodsbeyond1 @cardan-greenbriar-tcp @thewickedkings @aneurwin @snusbandxknifewife @jurdanhell @andromeddea @dressedindustandshadows @thesirenwashere @b00kworm @hizqueen4life @unidentifiedblackthorn @iminsanenotobsessed

❤️

#cardan greenbriar #jude duarte #jurdan #the cruel prince #tcp #tqon #twk #jude x cardan #fluff #angst #likeonlyalilbittho

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