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sorry my post is just to complain but guys i literally hate adobe after effects. i can not explain to you the mental torture and how LOW it has brought my mental health because I *need* to use it for my post production class because it's "industry standard". ADOBE After Effects has made me write off the entire film and video production industry as a turn off and I never want to do it ever again.
The amount of times this has crashed on me where I lost everything? 5+ hours of work? 8+ hours of work? It's my fault for not saving sometimes but I also have auto-save on. it didn't save anything so im just left with nothing.
You want a trip to burn out town really quick? Use adobe after effects in an academic setting where you have no choice but to use this program.
I have never in my life TOUCHED a program SO TERRIBLE that it made me never want to do anything about that form of art/media EVER AGAIN
#I'm ALSO going in and out of the hospital these past few weeks so im just bawling and crying and crying over losing this project just now#because it was due 3 days ago#and i cant finish it becvause i loste verything#im sorry to everyone reading this i just feel like an insane person#like if i tried to explain this to someone theyd just tell me to stop crying and to get over it#anyway cannot recommend adobe after effects any fucking less#never join advertising/film industry i guess?#im so miserable right now. AE is a constant crasher#i also got a new computer with 18RAM instead of 8RAM and it still did this#does anyone understand why i cant stop talking about this#it makes no logical sense that our industry relies on adobe THIS fucking much that a program that is KNOWN to crash often#is an industry standard i hate it here#its been 3 months of this#im in so much fucking physical pain thats why im going to the hospital and then i come home to this constantly#guys im so tired i hate Adobe with a passion i hate it so much#mod stuff#from kris p#may delete later but i have bad memory so ill forget and just never do that#when i say its fun im lying to you for masking/show. im lying
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haikaveh... save me haikaveh...
i KNOW it's been talked about to death but. the haikaveh research project. it literally haunts my mind. i cannot get over the implications. alhaitham going through his school life as someone that most people dont even really know about because he keeps to himself and doesn't socialize, with kaveh being the one exception to that, finding his way into his life as his Best Friend, and then leading to alhaithams one and only time he participated in a research topic. his bio says he only ever did ONE joint project!!! one!!! the one with kaveh his best friend and i think also his only friend at the time!!!! and then it ended in not only the project falling apart but also alhaithams only friendship. kavehs best friendship. they were each others closest person. they had no family around - alhaithams parents having died when he was young and his grandmother dying before he joined the akademiya, and kaveh's dad dying when he was young and his mom having moved to fontaine. like even if you dont look at it through a romantic lens it's still undeniable how important they were [and are] to each other..........
i'm getting off track but my point is very specifically for alhaitham, the one time he got close to someone, made a friend, even agreed to join one(1) group project ever, it ended in disaster. it led him into a fight so bad that his one and only friend said he regretted that friendship!!!! it was so bad alhaitham left the project and he and kaveh didnt speak for ages until they just happened to run into each other again at the tavern!!!!! like obviously it has to be incredibly awful for both of them but i just think how this probably had alhaitham in the cynical mindset that friendships and collaborations like that might just never work out for him because the one time he let someone into his life, it blew up on him and he was all alone again. even though alhaitham never seems to care much if people dont like him, that clearly cant still apply to someone he was exceptionally close to. like if he didnt care he woudlnt have been the one to take his name off the project and mutually not speak to kaveh...... kavehs words are the ones that hit the most significantly to alhaitham.......... kaveh is said/implied to have had at least some other friends while at school / people knew who he was, but not so much alhaitham. people didnt know him and the ones that did just knew he didnt socialize/he was not easy to get along with. he only had kaveh and then, for a while, he lost him too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#the number of times i have reread alhaitham character story 4 and kaveh character story 5. like. dont look at me. kfjsdklfh#on one hand im tempted to think alhaitham would have a fully cynical view of friendship#and be like USELESS NEVER AMOUNTS TO ANYTHING but. i kinda dont think he works like that#well i dont think he would think that either way now but#even in times of friendship breaking up w/kaveh like#alhaitham is very FACTS AND LOGIC and i feel like he would still like#idk. understand the objective value of human companionship. whether or not he feels it works for him#HOWEVER. jkdlhfsd he is also the one who in his other lore bits was like 'grandmother the other children are boring at school'#AT AGE SEVEN god he was probably such an unintentionally funny child. i love u alhaitham u are so neurodivergently coded#so idk i feel like he would have a period where hes like okay. i was alone before and clearly that was the right call bc my 1 friend is gon#even if he does well alone i cant even imagine like. kaveh mustve been a huge impact and difference in alhaithams life#humans need SOME level of socialization!! and kaveh was his.... aughhh god they literally also read as having a bad breakup!!!!!#queer coded TO ME!!!!!! friends to rivals/friends to lovers to enemies to it's complicated..................#but again even if u dont think of it in a romantic sense like it's still so much. they were and are so significant to each other.#their bond is so complex and oughghdhgh they make me go bonkers#i do not think of any other 2 genshin characters so intensely as i do them .what have they done to me. what the fuck.#im alone in my stupid little genshin pit endlessly babbling about these motherfuckers!!!!!!!#and i love them. also i like that one scene in i think cynos 2nd character quest where al and kav r in the library or w/e#and kavehs like wtf no way u dont small talk w/coworkers. and alhaithams like no i just happen 2 hear people but i do not engage#hes so real he likes to eavesdrop but he does NOT want to get involved!!!!!!!!!!!!#also that same scene where kaveh goes 'WTF looking thru these will take FOREVER!!!!' alhaitham: 'ill manage'#kaveh: >:( FINE ILL HELP YOU!!!! like ok he did not ask. silly.#and alhaitham teasing him right after all that. 'teach me to pretend u werent listening' '...' '...' '...' '...HEY STOP IGNORING ME' 'see.'#theyre so goofy. kaveh u walked right into that one. ily.#i love when i talk about characters and it's literally just me going 'wow remember when character x said this. remember when he did that.'#i just love repeating scenes and dialogue and lore over and over and over and offering nothing new to say about it JKFLDSHKLFH#sorry i love them SO much and im bad at drawing and bad at fanfic so i just have to ramble in text posts forever#i do have. a fanfic outlined for them. i am just scared to write it#nothing crazy deep or whatever but yknow. im in a bit of a Funk Right Now dont worry about it#i need a constant stream of alhaitham and kaveh content constantly injected directly into my brain.
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favorite type of villanous characters are the ones whose motivations boil down to
like they dont even have to have any stakes in the broader situation. they just have take pleasure in destruction
#sometimes this can be done in a very funee cartoon villain kind of way a la spike from buffy#and sometimes it can be done in a positively chilling way where this character knows for a fact that some of the effects of their chaos#will also make their life worse. but they just enjoy fucking with other people more than any privation they could personally experience#you can't sway this person with common sense because their own personal logic dictates that it doesn't apply to them#you can't sway them with emotion; your sadness/fear/anger/ineffectuality is part of the entertainment factor#can't sway 'em with threats because dodging threats is ALSO part of the whole point#this second version is the least pathetic type of character mostly because they simply do not give a shit about anything ever#any personal fears are buried or stomped out and figuring out why they do what they do won't stop them from doing it#and yet: in order to keep the relentless making-it-worse guy from being uninterestingly evil there does have to be SOME desire or need#bodily harm or lack of available victims could get you a moment of genuine terror or loneliness that sparks the audience sympathy#which you do need! just long enough for the sympathy to then be misplaced. which you also need bc this is an antagonist#the first version does very well at redemption arcs and is sort of built for them . they're almost too easy for the first cartoon version#the second version should be kept separate from redemption arcs at all costs#or you no longer have that character anymore now he's someone else#writing tag#q#god. one thing is that i know how to spot character types in writing and detail what's good about them and talk about it#but when it comes to then executing the concept? my perception of what's cool and works and my execution are MILES apart#frustrating as hell that i can identify this guy but not create him
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Tara doesn't have the cursed twist-out in the promo pics. Black people win at not losing
#no we don't. show's still racist. unless it all gets fixed bc the aesthetics aren't enough to sway me#also they did this w s2 pics and she only had that style for part of the season. AND she wasn't a stud. it made me sad :(#but hey. a baby step is a baby step. although it certainly does not imply any more steps will be taken#I also still don't know what Michael's hair deal is#although looking at it esp now that my hair's grown out it kinda just looks like my afro#slightly different curl pattern. which makes sense bc my hair's coilier than darragh's#i believe that this is a natural afro. natural afros just look like that#by like that i mean unless you're freshly cut specifically for an afro there are gonna be bits of frizziness on the top#a sad reality for a perfectionist fashionista#seems like a regular afro. i can't tell if it's badly picked or if his curls are just more visibly defined or both#i don't think i've really seen someone with his hair type do a fully picked out afro like that though#you usually want to keep the definition when you have it. like with some of the hairstyles darragh has actually had#logically thinking picking it like that would just fuck with your definition. and it'll look badly picked and/or poorly defined#which is what i'm getting from the grainy twitter image#it's def plausible that hair and makeup gave him that afro just to have a black guy with The Afro#while ignoring/not understanding how afros actually work irl and how they're done on different hair types and such#but i want to wait to see it in action before i fully shit on this dude's hair for what could be no reason
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Imagine you find a nice guy, go on a few dates and decide you like him enough to let him take your virginity.
He holds you and kisses you and asks if you're sure a million times and he makes sure to get you ready beforehand.
When he first pushes in he's so gentle, praising you as he moves slowly, stretching you out for the first time.
He thrusts gently, rubbing your clit, kissing your neck, telling you how good you feel for him until you start to get close.
He tells you to cum for him and it feels amazing, filled up with his cock, his praise in your ear, pleasure tearing through you.
But then he doesn't stop. He keeps rubbing your clit, he starts fucking harder and faster.
Your mind is a mess already and you assume he's just trying to get himself over the edge. You try to pry his wrist away but he doesn't budge.
Your back arches as it becomes too much and you cum again. He starts laughing. He starts mocking you and he still doesn't stop.
You're writhing under him as he starts pounding into you, bullying your clit rougher forcing you to cum again and again.
Your eyes are rolled back, body shaking, you cant move to fight him as he keeps going. Hips smashing against yours hard enough now to leave bruises.
His free hand grips your throat, your eyes wide in fear as he smirks down at you. "I said Id be gentle the first time, but this is what? The 5th now? Little whore just cant stop cumming hmm?" He mocks as he pulls all the way out only to slam back in. Squeezing your throat harder at the scream you try to let out.
By the end of the night you cant even count how many times he made you cum. At some point you blacked out, waking up to find yourself tied to the bed, blindfolded and gagged. Something much harder than his cock pumping in and out of you. Something metal.
Over time you'd come to learn that it was a fucking machine. He tells you you need to be filled at all times now that you're broken in.
Turns out by allowing him to take your virginity, you've agreed to become his entirely. And your mind is far too fucked out to come up with any logical reason why that wouldnt make sense. It does make sense. You're his now. His little fuck whore, for him to train to take him as he pleases.
And it really doesn't take long for you to learn to like it, because he's not wrong about what a dirty little slut you are in the slightest.
#cnc k!nk#cnc free use#free use slvt#rough cnc#dumb slvt#r@pe fantasy#r@pe kink#bd/sm slave#cnc kidnapping#k!nky thoughts
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it’s always nerd scara x reader, what about nerd reader who scara thinks is inexperienced, but they give him a real good time🫣
scaramouche x fem!reader. smut. blowjob. riding. virgin! reader.
anything for you, my dear❤️ scara is about to get real humbled. i am blowing you kisses with this once i post it. mwah!
the blush on your cheeks couldn't have been darker seeing the way scaramouche was looking at you. it was predatory, a wolf staring down the prey he is finally going to get to devour. his smirk as he spoke very obviously showed the dark excitement. "i'll bet you are a virgin," his mouth watered seeing the way you looked away shyly.
"what does that have to do with anything?" you posed the question to him to cover up how flustered you really are. naturally, more words came out. "and anyways, is virginity really a concept? it's the first time someone has sex with someone, right?"
despite the aching in his cock, scaramouche was curious to see where this went. "brilliant deduction, sherlock. go on," he crossed his arms.
you continued once he raised an eyebrow. "so say you have sex with someone for the first time, and then you go have sex with someone else for the first time? does that make you a virgin again?"
look at you, turning such a concept on its head and sideways. he swore he felt his cock get harder. it didn't make any sense to him, but he logically hadn't thought of it that way before.
cute, foolish blustering.
he was going to fucking ruin you.
"it's all about sensation. anyone who even reads about sex or even..even watch it," he almost snorted at how twice as shy you sounded, hardly being able to say porn. "i'll prove it," even as you said it, holding your head a little high, he could tell you were second guessing yourself.
you'd had to speak fast, before he could cut in a biting comment that would make you lose brittle confidence. but, you fiercely knew you had to stand your ground.
especially with scara.
scaramouche certainly didn't expect to be in the position he was in now. he wanted to see you beg and crumble apart, beg for him to take care of you because you didn't know what you were doing. shatter in your desperation to have his cock impaling you.
the shoe had never been on the other foot so much in his life.
his electric eyes are a little wide with shock as he looked down at you on your knees, looking impossibly cute with your tongue licking slow lines up and down his cock.
he hissed through his teeth as you prodded your tongue in his slit, circling his cockhead before sucking until drool rolled down his cock. he squirmed as you lowered your mouth on his cock, slowly flattening your tongue as his it pulsed against it.
you were taking the concept of sensation and smashing it with a well thrown rock.
his legs shook, his hand folding a handful of your hair into his hand. his eyes nearly rolled back in his head, his hips jerking up to push his cock deeper into your mouth. you were sucking and grinding your mouth on his cock in a way that made him see stars.
you wrapped your hand around his cock, pumping it on what wasn't in your mouth. through watery eyes, scaramouche could tell you were fighting the urge to look away shyly. but never once did your pretty eyes stray from him.
they were trained on his every twitch, and reaction as moans started to bubble in his throat. you had a point to prove. experience sometimes meant jack shit.
you muffled a moan on his cock as his hand tightened in your hair. he held your mouth down on his cock, pushing into your throat. your pliable throat felt divine convulsing around his cock as you gagged.
he couldn't even jump on the fact you seemed to enjoy being handled roughly, latching onto it and devouring you with the fact. your mouth just felt too fucking good. "f-fuck, i think i am cumming," he groaned, his thighs quaking as you recovered your breathing and started sucking again.
you made it this far, surprising yourself in the process. you felt his fingers loosen on your hair after a few moments of bobbing your mouth on his cock, thrusting somewhat carelessly. the glare he shot you as you suddenly took your mouth off his cock sent a shiver up your spine.
"w-what do you think you are doing, slut?" scaramouche growled as you got to your feet and wiped your mouth.
"proving it to you," you quickly said, putting your hands on his shoulders. you knew if you even showed a moment of weakness, scaramouche would grab it by the throat and squeeze, and all your plans would go up in smoke.
you shook a little bit as you straddled his lap. sucking him off for the first time left your pussy dripping and almost embarrassingly wet. the throbbing in your clit spurred you on as you settled his cock between your folds.
you sighed shakily as you glided your pussy on his hard cock. groaning, his hand went to your hip, the other grasping his cock and positioning it at your entrance. "bounce like your life depends on it, slut," he moaned, lowering you down onto his cock a little more carelessly than he meant to.
he needed to feel your pussy stretching around his cock, the ache from the not getting to cum sent him reeling. he shivered as your fingernails dug into his shoulders, your walls fluttering to clench around his cock hearing his degradation.
he would've degraded you more, but your cunt felt too tight and warm for him to find words. your back arched, your body tensing in pain the sudden from quick intrusion of his cock. sighing shakily, his fingers found your clit.
a moan tore from your throat, your clit pulsing under the pads of his fingers. jolts of pleasure ebbed the pain away so fast it left you dizzy. he bottomed out as you rolled your hips down. "it's all..about.. sensation, remember?" he moaned encouragingly to soothe you.
don't think for one second that just because you are literally fucking humbling him, that he wasn't going take care of you. (real man behavior in only the best of ways, in your opinion.)
his thumbs grazed over your hips as you started bouncing. he rocked his hips up to nudge his cock into your sweet spot, letting you set your own pace. his body was turning to jelly fast, your walls squeezing his cock so tight that he thought he was going to cum right then.
he may have been falling apart, but you were falling apart faster. your head spin as tightness coiled in your core. the lewd sounds of his cock squelching and out of your pussy, your thighs smacking against his as you fucked yourself down onto his cock mingled with his husky moans.
"fuck..good girl.. fucking hell keep going," scaramouche hissed, guiding your pace on his cock. you gasped in pleasure, your whole body shaking as his cockhead assaulted your sweet spot. the sensation bubbled over any other pain, swallowing you as you chased your high.
he laughed shakily hearing how shameless your moans sound. "i was right to want to keep you," he moaned, his eyes rolling into the back of his head as his cock pulsed strong between your walls, "a perfect, fuckable pet," he was babbling now, lost in the sensation of your cunt swallowing his cock.
you tightened your thigh muscles for extra friction as you bounced. you couldn't barely think, but you were proving your point. his cheeks were flushed, whimpers bubbling in his throat as one arm snaked up to the small of your back.
he hastily buried his face in your neck to muffle his moans tinged with soft whimpers. the knot of your orgasm broke apart, overwhelmed by the pleasure of hearing him refer to you as his pet. "scaramouche!" you cried out, barely able to hold yourself up as you creamed hard on his cock.
he lifted his head from your neck, scooping one of your nipples into his mouth to suck on, nursing you through your orgasm. there was still more than enough for him to break apart your innocence like he fantasized about.
but for now, he was going to enjoy cumming inside of your pretty cunt.
an innocent nerd like you is always breakable.
#genshin impact#genshin smut#fem!reader#genshin imagines#scaramouche#scaramouche smut#scaramouche x reader#scaramouche x y/n#scaramouche x you
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AIN’T NOTHING TOO BIG, BABY
don’t listen to those cheap haters
I received an ask recently that opened my eyes to the fact that a lot of you need this reminder. This really applies to everyone in the community, whether your plans are to permashift, respawn or manifest something in your current reality, listen: There is nothing too big for you to manifest. ever. I’m gonna repeat a lot of what i said in my answer but here goes anyways….
If you see someone who acts so high and mighty preaching about the law, just for them to turn around and have the audacity to tell someone that something is "too big" to manifest, then they're dumb and not someone you should be looking to for advice or opinions. And i want you to know if you think your desires are too big or you have been turned away, you’re not crazy and you’re not “asking for too much”
Do i need to remind you who you are? you’re a god meaning whatever you say goes, there is nothing too big for a god and you know it. Stop talking yourself out of it because you are scared. The law is law and will never fail no matter what your desire is. Although, if you still have trouble understanding your full potential, i recommend using methods where your subconscious mind is in full control, for example the void or SATS, but it is just as easy to manifest “huge” things with some standard methods like affirming or visualisation too! You need to get it through your skulls everything is easy for you.
Manifesting the sun to shine a little brighter is the same as manifesting being a billionaire
Manifesting your eyes to be a lighter shade is the same as revising a whole ass country for you to live in
Manifesting a substitute for your chemistry lesson because you hate your teacher is the same as manifesting an entirely new family
You guys, there is nothing too big or too small, too many hypocrites have infested this community with their bullshit, preaching about how we can do anything yet turning around to tell someone that what they want isn't possible, that what they desire “makes no logical sense”. Now tell me, if we're gods and we can do anything, how does that even make any sense?
So my loves, if you have a desire you think is “big” or “heavy” excuse my language but grab it by the balls because guess the fuck what? you’re the boss, not those close minded people who think manifesting is fake, not the loser who “believes in manifesting” but had the audacity to tell you you’re dreaming too big, not anyone else but YOU, because you’re a GOD
EVERYTHING IS EASY FOR YOU, AND YOU KNOW IT ༄ 🪸🌺💋
#law of assumption#permashifting#shifting#loa#shiftblr#reality shifting#success story#the void#void concept#void state#respawning#manifesting#manifestation#master manifestor
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castling | s.r.
A/N: another deeply self indulgent hurt comfort angst who’s surprised…i wrote this kinda fast so if it’s messy and cheesy sorry :/
cw: gn!reader (pls lmk if i missed something that doesn’t make it gn), hurt comfort, mentions of depression, ambiguous sadness, trivialization of chess, inaccurate chess jargon?, spencer is a darling
summary: in which reader finds it hard to open up and communicate their feelings with spencer, so he comes up with an idea to help
wc: 1.4k
not proofread sry
reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated! <3
_______________________________________________
It started during a game of chess, when Spencer was showing you different special moves.
“It’s called castling, the idea is that you move the king two spaces towards the rook and then switch their places to allow more protection for your king than if it was in the center.”
“Why would you want to move the king towards the outside, that seems counterintuitive.”
“Smart girl, that’s a good question,” he says fondly, “It’s kind of a last ditch effort in a sense, the rook is essentially expendable but the castling moves the king out of the line from key pieces like the other king and queen.”
“So, it’s like a rescue mission.”
He smiles, “Like a rescue mission.”
You smile back and continue with your next move. Spencer watches you in earnest as you deliberate the best plan of attack, even though he knows he’s gonna let you win by the end anyway.
“How was your day today?” He watches your demeanor change quickly, your shoulders sagging slightly and your eyebrows furrowing. He knew the answer, he’s a great observant and even more so when it comes to you.
“It was…fine.”
“Just fine?” he challenges, moving his bishop.
You nod and move your knight. You’re waiting for him to move his next piece when you realize he’s not looking at the board anymore.
Looking up you see hazel eyes staring right back at you, “Sweetheart,”
“Spencer, don’t.”
He sighs, “You know,” he moves his pawn, “this isn't the first time that you’ve had a hard time communicating with me how you feel.”
A deep sigh leaves you now, it had always been a struggle for you to show emotion so openly to those you love, mainly Spencer. You just didn’t want to worry him with the throes of your mind, and while Spencer appreciated the sentiment he reminded you repeatedly that he’s there for you through it all and just really wants you to take advantage of that.
“I just want to help you, angel.” he says softly, “I can’t do that if you don’t let me in. You don’t even have to tell me what’s wrong, just that something is wrong.”
Tears well up in your eyes, “I know Spence. I—It’s just, saying out loud that I’m—whatever—makes it real. A—And then you get so worried and I get more anxious—“
“Hey. It’s my job to worry about you. Because I love you,” he places his hands on yours, “But, I was thinking what if we had a code word or something, just a single word, and you can say it or text me or anything and I’ll know that you’re not feeling well.”
Your face softens at his proposal. The irony you face is that your brain has convinced you healing can be done alone, that if you’re the one who fucked up the road you should be the one to repair it. While you know logically healing is more effective when you have support, it doesn’t make it any easier for you to accept the help you need, that Spencer feels you deserve.
“I think…that’s a good idea.”
“Yeah?” he replies, “Do you want to pick the word?”
You think about it for a few minutes. You don’t want to do a silly word like banana or chicken, you want something that maybe doesn’t sound serious but would still convey the intent of the code word.
“Does castling work?” you offer softly.
Spencer’s face morphs into something you can’t quite decipher, but to him it’s a mix of adoration, love, and pure empathy for you. He’s just so touched by the fact you want to use that word, after just discussing the significance of that move. It’s an honor that you trust him enough to be your protecting rook.
“Yeah, that’s perfect angel.”
You give a small nod, “Check.”
___
You knew he wouldn’t judge you, that’s the whole reason you came up with this system. It felt like an emergency contact, which it was, but in a “How bad is too bad before I call?” type of way.
Laid down in your bed, you stared at the glow of your phone with your messages with Spencer open. Your thumbs hovered over the keyboard, daring you to make a move.
Nothing even really happened today, it was just one of those periods where you were in a funk. The voices that lingered in your brain fed you disguised truths and cynicism, and it was hard to feel afloat with support when you couldn’t even tell what was pulling you down.
It didn’t matter though, your tear stained cheeks and puffy red eyes amongst the disarray of your room which satirically matched the chaos in your mind were proof enough that maybe, you weren’t okay.
In this moment it would be stupidly easy to ignore it all and wallow in your own sorrow—Spencer was away on a case and you didn’t know when he was coming back.
So in a leap of faith, or perhaps a lapse in judgment, your thumbs twiddle a message out and press send.
castling
You toss your phone aside and try to avoid thinking about it. He’s probably busy, they’re on a case so he’s probably drawing out the geographical maps or maybe he’s on a raid or maybe he’s—DING.
Cautiously grabbing your phone, you slide the notification.
I’m on the plane, going to land in about an hour or so. I need to make one stop and then I’ll come straight to you, okay?
You stare through the blurriness of your eyes caused by your tears, the words blending together. Before the guilt of texting him and making him aware of your depressed state sinks in, another text comes through.
I love you. See you soon, angel.
Another choked sob releases from your throat, and you put the phone down before any more emotions try to infiltrate you. At some point you end up falling asleep on the bed, your body curled in on itself from the lack of warmth a nice blanket or Spencer could’ve provided.
You’re only stirred awake when you feel a soothing sensation on your head, long nimble yet intentional fingers sifting through your hair. You attempt to open your eyes through the thin crust it’s formed from crying so much, and you’re squinting for the first few moments of vision before registering the human in front of you.
“Hi honey.” Spencer whispers softly as you come to.
“Spence…when did you…”
“Just a couple minutes ago,” the hand in your hair comes to rest on your jaw, “How are you feeling?”
Tired eyes finally meet his brown ones and find nothing but reassurance and concern.
Oh. You’ve worried him now.
The last string of resolve snaps as your face crumbles in and you mutter out apologies mixed in with sniffles and sobs. Spencer moves from his knelt position in front of you to slide in next to you on the bed. He gingerly gathers you in his arms and tucks you into his side whispering it’s okay and you’re safe and i’m here.
After a few long minutes your breathing evens out. “You came.” you sniffled.
He pulls back to look at you with watered eyes, “You called. I’m so proud of you.”
You mumble under your breath, “I didn’t even do anything.”
Spencer shakes his head and tucks you right back in place, feeling the floppy fringe of his hair tickling your forehead, “I know a version of you that would’ve held it all in by yourself. Thank you for letting me be here for you.”
You turn your head into his chest further, letting the hot tears and snot stain his nice button up. His hands rub trails up and down your back, his head bent down to your ear whispering sweet nothings to you. With Spencer delicately taking your defenses down maybe you can finally admit to yourself that you were just too soft for all of it.
“Where did you have to stop by?” you wonder.
He smiles and readjusts you against his body, “I picked up Thai food,” “And some candy, sour of course. And there may be a Snoopy stuffie as well because it reminded me of you.”
You feel a different weight on your heart, not one that’s constricting but one that’s embracing, comforting. In a life where you’ve rarely felt taken care of, or even being worthy of that care, you know with certainty that Spencer would never let you go a day without knowing how much love and care you deserve.
#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid#spencer reid angst#spencer reid hurt/comfort#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid criminal minds#doctor spencer reid#dr spencer reid#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid x gn!reader#spencer reid x fanfiction
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“Jews are willing to give up land for peace.” Bull fucking shit!!! Have you seen what’s happening to the West Bank??? Are you aware of how many Palestinians have lost their homes to Israeli settlers? In settlements that are internationally recognized as illegal!!! This isn’t just an Israeli thing either. Diaspora Jews are being recruited to move to the West Bank but Israeli real estate agents.
“We are NOT willing to bare our necks before the executioner's axe just because Islamists demand it.” But you expect Palestinians to bare their necks for the executioner’s axe because Israel demands it.
Jews are not the fucking victims here. I know Jews have been the victims of a lot of violence throughout history but the situation in Palestine is perhaps the one time in history Jews are the perpetrators.
I see you didn't read or watch a single source I gave to back up my claims, and didn't cite any sources to back up your claims either.
Since you're not going to bother to read, I'll keep it brief:
Are you aware of how many Palestinians have lost their homes to Israeli settlers?
And are you aware of how many Jews were violently driven out of their homes due to Islamic aggression after WWII--mostly in retaliation for Israel being formed?
Are you aware that Jews were living in and around the "West Bank" (historically Judea and Samaria) for centuries before Arab Jordinians invaded and violently expelled all the Jews living there in 1948?
Are you aware that most so-called "illegal settlements in the West Bank" are places where previous Jewish communities were forcibly expelled by Arab armies or militia, and many "Israel? (Or slaughtered, like Jewish community of Hebron in 1929?)
Are you aware that about 2 out of 9 million Israeli citizens are Israeli Arabs--most of whom are descended from Arabs who chose not to leave to make it eas
Meanwhile, most of Israel's current 2.2 million Israeli Arabs are descended from Arabs who chose not and annexed
But you expect Palestinians to bare their necks for the executioner’s axe because Israel demands it.
No, I just want them to stop attacking and trying to kill all Israelis/Jews already.
Like the so-called "moderate" Palestinian Authority's infamous "pay to slay" Martyr Fund, which incentivizes West Bank Arabs to attack and kill Israelis/Jews, since they get more money for every act of violence they commit against "the state of Israel."
Like Hamas firing rockets Israel non-stop after the latter completely withdrew from Gaza and effectively gave them a Palestinian state to run as they please, without Israeli.
Jews are not the fucking victims here. I know Jews have been the victims of a lot of violence throughout history but the situation in Palestine is perhaps the one time in history Jews are the perpetrators.
I want you to stop and think about that for a moment.
What logical sense does that make? "Yeah, Jews were victims of violent persecution throughout history, but THIS TIME all the evil things people say about you and do to you are totally justified!!"
a) Isn't that what antisemites say every time they attack Jews?
b) Have you ever considered that maybe the said extensive history of violent antisemitism might have contributed to Palestinian Arabs being complete hostility towards and refusal to accept a Jewish homeland?
For example: After the Ottoman Empire lost against the European Allies in WWI and ceded territory to the victors, France gained control of "Greater Syria" while Britain gained control of Palestine and Mesopotamia (now Iraq).
About the same time that Britain thought about dividing Mandatory Palestine into an Arab State for the Arab Muslim majority to the east and a Jewish state for the (existing) Jewish minority to the west...
France was ALSO dividing Greater Syria into a larger Arab State for the Sunni Muslim majority, and a smaller state for the Maronite Christian and Druze minority.
Yet, no one ever questions why Arabs grudgingly accepted a state for the Maronite Christian/Druze minority, but threw a raging bitch fit against a homeland for the Jewish minority?
No one ever accuses Maronites/Druze of "stealing Syria land!" but they do constantly accuse Jews of "stealing Palestinian land!"
Speaking of, roughly 3/4 of the original Mandate for Palestine became what is now Jordan, yet no one ever accuses Jordan of "stealing Palestinian land"?
IF NOTHING ELSE, I would like you to AT LEAST read this detailed and well-researched article about historical attitudes and treatments towards Jews in Islamic lands, and how those same attitudes and treatments carried over into the Islamic world's reaction to Jews emigrating to and eventually creating Israel.
#antisemitism#leftist antisemitism#jewish history#israeli history#palestinian history#british mandate for palestine#ottoman empire#history revisionism
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20:16 • sᴛᴀʀɢɪʀʟ ɪɴᴛᴇʀʟᴜᴅᴇ (NSFW)
♡ dom!husband!Seonghwa x sub!housewife!reader
♡ domestic, smut
♡ WC • 1108
♡ Warnings!! (tags) • multiple positions, breeding, hair pulling, choking, exhibitionism(?), nipple play, creampie, breeding, multiple orgasms, wet dreams, raking. (pls lmk if I missed anything.)
♡ This has been rotting away in my head but I could never get to writing it. Now I've written it in half an hour listening to 'stargirl interlude' (The Weeknd, Lana Del Rey) on loop. It really helped tbh idk why I didn't think of it sooner 😭. Anyways enjoy, enjoy this while I work on my long fics. Lmk if you want a part two ♡♡.
♡ ᴛᴀɢʟɪsᴛ
**•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾ **•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ‧͙⁺˚*・༓☾ ☽༓・*˚⁺‧͙ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚* ☽༓・*˚⁺‧͙ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚
His hands were on your hips, pelvis meeting with your ass every second. The blue strip light of your cabinet illuminated the black marble below, contrasting with your white almond acrylics that desperately wanted to dig into the material as you felt his cock slip in and out of you.
Your tits moved forward at every smack, threatening to spill out of your apron until they did, cascading like curtains over the neckline. Back arching, his cock hit into you at a deeper angle, making both of you cry out. He leaned down, grabbing you by the waist and breathing into your neck, his words inaudible due to your ears ringing.
“My perfect little housewife, letting me fuck you for all of the city to see.” Seonghwa grunted, one of his hands coming up to pinch at your erect nipples. You whimper at the slight pain, grinding your ass against his pelvis before he pushes you down, holding the back of your neck and pounding into you at a rough pace.
“Hwa!” You squealed, now feeling a tingle down your spine at the thought of someone below potentially seeing you; though it was a bustling city your windows were not tinted and it was nighttime. Everyone had a complete view of you being pounded by your husband. Seonghwa always fucked you like this, it was though he actually wanted someone to see. The clerestory windows of your penthouse give the people a full show of your bare form.
Your husband slowed his pace. “Shh, baby, you want the neighbors to listen in?” He huffed, giving your cheek a firm slap before picking up his pace again. You shook your head, trying your best to keep the noise to a minimum despite the clapping overriding the noise of your television. Ironic, as you turned your head towards the windows.
“Your logic does not make any sense,” you whined, city lights reflecting off your eyes. “If they can see me, they should hear me.”
You weren’t sure where the boldness came from, but it definitely did not go unnoticed by Seonghwa, who hummed with a smirk forming on his features. “Yeah? You want a noise complaint, pretty?”
He didn't wait for an answer, leaning over to grab the television remote and turning it off. Tossing it aside he began his pace once more, grabbing your hair and forcing your head up. “Let them hear you.”
Tears stung at your eyes at the sudden tug, but you didn’t have time to wipe at them as you already felt the knot in your tummy forming. Your knuckles turned white. Your eyes start to roll back as your noises gradually get louder, as do Seonghwa once his balls start to tighten.
His hand snakes around to your clit, middle finger working its magic around the pearl as he moans purposefully in your ear. “You’re gonna make me cum, baby.” He says, making sure to make himself sound extra whiny.
“,’m cumming,” you blubber, foot thumping against the ground and knee colliding with the cabinet as your lower half spasms around his cock, juices coating him like glaze. Seonghwa’s cock kept moving in and out of you regardless, thrusts starting to stutter and moans getting caught in his throat.
“Gonna fill you up, 'm gonna fill that pussy…” He trailed off, pausing and holding you firmly against him as he came inside, breeding your little hole. You both groan in contentment, and you pull him out, turning to face him as you sat yourself on the freezing counter. “Again,” you whine, opening your legs.
Seonghwa didn’t waste any time, pushing back into you and moving at a fluid pace. His arm went up and held the handle of the cabinets above for support, the other hand playing with your tits and wrapping around your throat.
“Oh fuck me,” you sniffle, looking into his eyes. Your eyes shifted between looking into his and where you two met. He threw his head back, letting out a dry chuckle mixed in with a guttural moan. “You’re fucking crying.” he mused, tightening his grip.
“I love it, I love it Hwa,” you whimper pathetically, locking your legs around his waist to pull him closer. Your grip on the counter’s sharp edges tightened, the edge digging into your palm. Your fingers were going to ache soon. “Love it so much.”
“You just love this cock so much, baby.” he grunts, shuddering at the feeling of your gummy walls clamping around his sensitive tip. “It’s gonna breed you so much.”
Seonghwa’s face leaned into yours, taking in your expression. His pretty little housewife, all spread and open for him to breed. The hand that was wrapped around the handle of the counter went down to your thigh, raking his nails into it. His balls started to tighten once more, his cock felt harder inside you. You looked down at where you met before looking back up into his eyes, sharp as slits.
Your husband leaned down to suck harshly at your jaw, hand still on your throat, and hand now gliding over your under thigh as he started spurting into you again. The squelching sounds now increased in volume. You could feel the mix of your juices drooling out of your pussy and down to the rim of your asshole, making you moan softly and your eyes shut at the warmness.
“Pretty girl,” Seonghwa cooed, placing a soft kiss on your forehead. His hand rubbed your shoulder as the warmness of your body slowly dissolved, only feeling the sweat on your back and wetness between your legs.
You slowly opened your eyes as your head came to again, your senses coming down from the intense session. Seonghwa kept crooning at you.
“That’s a good girl, open your eyes baby.” he said, still rubbing your arm. Your eyes fully opened again, being met with your pillow.
“You’re awake,” Seonghwa murmured softly, hovering over you. You looked up at him, blinking unnoticed tears away. You could tell by his expression that he was amused, though his eyes were soft as they admired your sleepy features. “,’m felt so good,” you babble mindlessly, thighs closing. The discomfort of sweat now gets to you as you sit up.
“Poor thing, having wet dreams again. You’re like a pup in its rut, darling.” Seonghwa ruffles your hair, “grinding and wetting against the sheets again. You’re all drenched.”
You heat up at the revelation, sighing deeply and leaning forward into your husband’s neck in embarrassment, who pets and scratches at your scalp and nape comfortingly. He chuckles softly; “Don’t frown, I’ll take care of you, baby.”
#ateez#kpop#kpop fanfic#kpop imagines#kpop rp#ateez fanfic#ateez fic#ateez fluff#ateez smut#ateez imagines#seonghwa smut#seonghwa#ateez seonghwa#seonghwa fic#seonghwa x reader#seonghwa x you#seonghwa x y/n#ateez masterlist#ateez scenarios#ateez hard thoughts#ateez x reader#ateez imagine#ateez hard hours#ateez drabbles#park seonghwa#park seonghwa fanfic#ateez fic recs#ateez ff
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Whenever I see people talk about all our yesterdays it's always about the homoerotic value of spock throwing McCoy up against a wall, or how it doesn't make any sense that spock going back in time would make him act like a pre surak vulcan. Both correct and interesting and good to talk about.
HOWEVER
I cannot for the life of me stop thinking about "I don't like that. I don't think I ever did and now I'm sure". Fucking?? This line puts their whole dynamic in an extremely interesting new light because yeah, doctor mccoy routinely says some pretty racist shit to him, but it's generally seen as okay because spock gives as good as he gets most of the time and they're both clearly having fun bickering.
But in an unguarded moment we find out that no, that part of it is something that spock merely tolerated and there's some (thoroughly repressed I'm sure) resentment that's been bubbling under the surface for god knows how long.
We the audience know that spock has a good deal of baggage about his whole situation but did mccoy know? Was he aware that he even could hurt his friend in this way? I don't think so, and I wonder if there would have been some kind of follow up to this if the show was more serialized (or if it wasn't the sixties).
Ig that's what fanfic is for but I can't find anything that scratches this particular itch. Like, if I was a writer I'd have mccoy get awkward around spock for a little bit, like, their usual banter gets weird and stilted, maybe spock misinterprets this, thinks he's mad at him. But then on a mission, spock like, throws himself in front of a train to save jim or some shit. Whatever, he does something insane without checking with anyone because he's decided it's the logical thing to do and he would never act impulsively, of course not doctor. And then mccoy realizes that this is the most frustrating man who ever lived and there are many reasons to yell at him that aren't xenophobic.
(Boy I sure hope nobody steals this idea and puts it on ao3 and maybe sends me a link, I would hate that,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,)
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Headcanons of what's like to date Bruce, Dick, Jason, Martian, Wally, and Clark?
Hi, sorry for taking so long, but I am very grateful for your patience!
Here you go...
Headcanons of what's like to date Bruce, Dick, Jason, Martian, Wally, and Clark?
I would like to state that I’m assuming you meant Martian Manhunter and not Miss Martian, but in the case that I am wrong and you meant Miss Martian let me know and I’ll add her to this or write a super-long essay of your guy’s relationship or something!
As always please do not copy my work in any way, shape, or form. Thanks!
Warnings: none i think... not spell checked...
Bruce Wayne
Dating Bruce Wayne? Gotham’s favorite Billionaire and the Batman? Wow, good luck.
There is a lot of angsty shit in your relationship. Keep in mind it’s not like you guys have like crazy issues or anything, not to say that the Joker isn’t a crazy issue, but I mean that you don’t actually fight with each other a lot.
You disagree quite a bit considering you watch him on monitors and he goes out and actually gets hurt, but all of that frustration and worry comes from a place of care.
However, you didn’t talk to him for days when he decided to let Dick join him in the field. You were beyond upset, especially since you knew the dangers of crime-fighting yourself, seeing as you used to be a vigilante.
Regardless of that, it was Dick that convinced you to cut Bruce some slack. Eventually, you came to agree with the teenager, but only after you kicked Bruce where the sun doesn’t shine.
On a nicer note, definitely lots of gifts coming from his end even though he is called the dark knight.
Even when you were both playing hero and he didn’t know who you were under the mask he gave you little gadgets. You two had also met outside of hero-ing and in your real lives where he constantly graced you with the treat of coffee and/or donuts.
He likes to get you nice treats and sweets. He knows you don’t care for expensive gifts, especially since you work for a lot of nonprofits.
As for PDA on a scale, I will give you a 7.5/10. A solid 2.5 for physical affection such as hand holding, forehead kisses, whispering in each other's ears, and being a little too close to each other but not so close that you freak out everyone else around you.
As for that leftover 5 on the scale, holy shit do you guys never shut up. The constant flirting is where most of this score comes from. Saying embarrassing and inappropriate shit anywhere and everywhere is common with you. You tease each other relentlessly and enjoy seeing the other squirm. It can be quite uncomfortable for others around you, but you tend to keep the more spicy comments quieter, which leads to all of your odd whisperings.
You sort of live with him…? You guys are most often at his place, but you did decide to keep your own just because you wanted something that you paid for and could afford unlike his gigantic fucking manor.
Bruce cares for you deeply and understands why you want to keep your independence and have at least something of your own, especially considering that you guys work together often.
You are close with all of his family, including each kid he adopts, takes in, or has under his proverbial wing. In fact, you kind of think they prefer you over him, or at the very least Jason definitely does.
It might also be common sense now that Alfred also likes you more than Bruce because, in your guys' relationship, you have all of the brain cells and are logical.
You both can be impulsive and rude. You both can come across as very blunt and private people. You work well together despite everything.
You were very glad in the end that you both found someone so supportive and understanding.
You both were also glad that you had the guts to kiss him because, honestly, he was never going to make the first move without it being an epic disaster.
Dick Grayson
Yay! Okay, this guy and you wow. May I just say couple goals here. Like yes, wonderful, perfect together.
Will you go off on someone for hurting his feelings? Count on it. Whether it is physically fighting or verbally berating someone, you also support everyone’s favorite Blue Bird.
Cute nicknames? Yes, as I stated previously, Blue-Bird, you know because he had been Robin and then he became Nightwing, and Nightwing’s suit is black and blue. Also, his eyes are blue and they look so pretty you could stare at them all day. Also, often used but none as creative as Blue-Bird, sweetheart, darling, cutey, and love.
His pet names for you, are Darling, beautiful, sweetie, bundle of too much adorableness, most wonderful human being to ever exist, my reason for getting out of bed every morning, and love. It is obviously a wonderful mixture of names, and yes, sometimes you do worry about him.
I mean how could you not, you were there since he became Robin, you comforted him through every phase, from being a rebellious teen by denouncing Bruce, becoming Nightwing, forming his own group of heroes, and making the obvious mistake of wearing tights as a part of his costume (that one was particularly hard for you).
I will now rate your PDA, congrats you have received a 6/10. You guys like to give small face kisses (forehead, top of the head, cheek, nose, temple, etc.), you guys give each other small pecks on occasion, and always say ‘I love you’ when one of you has to leave. You hold each other's hands a lot. You guys are very sweet and very wholesome. The only time you aren’t is when you get reunited after a long time (2+ weeks) or a life-threatening thing happens (which is pretty often, I’m not going to lie).
When you reunite do you share that time slowed down and you are running to each other with the wind in your hair moment before frantically grasping one another to share a passionate kiss.
Sometimes he will tickle you and pick you up just to spin with you. This happens quite a lot and the two of you often have tickle fights.
You get along with his family, but you have no trouble standing up to them for him. You will fist fight with Jason and tell Tim to ‘shut up and go to sleep’. If Damian starts talking crap you won’t physically hit the child, but you will steal away his pets with treats, which annoys him because food > him.
You will scream at Bruce if necessary. Dick and his adoptive siblings will have to physically pick you up to get you away from the situation.
You guys never fight, except when you eat the last of each other’s ice cream.
Jeez, you two are so cute together.
Jason Todd
You met early on but got together a few years after his death.
He used to annoy the shit out of you, but the events involving the Joker led you both in the same direction.
You both have a better understanding of each other than anyone else. You are field partners and the only real anti-heroes of Gotham.
You were quick to share an apartment once you both learned each other’s civilian names.
It is easier than you both expected to fall into a rhythm, which only made it easier to go from something platonic to something romantically domestic.
You never seemed to get in each other's way and could somehow calm the other down when the world became a little too quiet or loud. You both rarely slept in the separate beds you had brought and maneuvered into the one bedroom. In fact, neither of you really slept on a bed.
Most nights you stayed up as late as you could and either returned home and passed out on the couch or watched tv till 3 am, cuddling, and passed out on the couch.
You guys are a little different than others. PDA is more of healthy ways to deal with trauma mixed with a little codependency (but nothing terrible, sometimes shit just gets hard for you both and you have some really off days). Hand holding, back rubs, hugs, and playing with each other's hair and hands are just ways to calm each other.
But back to PDA. Yes. 9/10. You will both totally make out in front of other people spontaneously without a care in the world. He tends to initiate it, but you certainly never have an issue with it.
After all of the shit you two have been through you don’t really care about other people’s comfort around you because you feel safe with each other and are each other's security blankets.
Pet names are definitely common. It is probably the most annoying thing he does when you work together fighting crime. You always hated how he was so arrogant and acted childish when he was Robin. Now he just calls you pet names and flirts ceaselessly with you while you fight together. He will call you sweetheart, darling, beautiful, gorgeous, love, my love, love of my life, and more when you are in the field. He calls you them outside of your night shift too, but that does not annoy you at all.
You tend to use many of the back, if not all of them, because he means just as much to you.
He always makes the most adorable face when you cradle his head and call him beautiful. Like this is the softest he will ever be with someone else and he just looks so small and cute and in need of a hug.
If he annoys you, expect gifts in the form of food and drinks. If you annoy him, expect to give him extra hugs and books.
Yes, you read together, cuddling. Typically different books, but he acts as your personal heater and you love it.
Coffee shop dates, take-out-stay-in dates, and video game dates are to be expected. Also, pastries on top of buildings in the middle of the night are a great pastime.
Also, one last thing, just to mention, you are the only one allowed to use or even touch his guns.
Martian Manhunter
Telepathically communicating, yayyyyyyyy! Okay maybe too soon with that one. But really, expect to be snorting in a silent room as everyone looks at you like you're crazy except for him because he’s smiling fondly at your reaction.
You two are very sweet together. You help the Justice League with PR stuff, so you talk with the group of heroes all the time.
You often work with the big names and more controversial people in the League, but you work with everyone when you need to.
Also, J’onn can fly so expect to be carried in his arms all the time. He won’t even think about it twice because why would he take you somewhere in a car when he can literally swoop you off your feet bridal style and fly off as you look up at him in complete adoration.
For the moment you’ve all been waiting for, PDA rating. I would say 3/10 in public and 6/10 in private. By that I mean outside world public and the justice hall, mount olympus, etc. as private. In your guy’s place he’s just a cuddle bug or a second cat because yes he bought you a cat for one of your anniversaries.
He cooks you dinner. You join him often, but like he loves to cook you dinner. You think it is really sweet, but he also loves to learn different earthly activities. That and M’gann sends him recipes she thinks you’ll like (and you always love them).
You once made him chocolate cake by the way and now he has a new favorite thing. He loves it and didn’t stop talking about it for months.
He likes to hold your hands a lot. Sometimes when one of you is stressed the other reaches out in hopes of grounding them before they overthink. It’s very sweet and you both love the gesture.
You sort of also took M’gann under your wing when she first arrived and it melted yours and J’onn’s hearts when she first called you her aunt/uncle. At this point you're like the mom of the YJ and the go to friend for the league. It’s all very sweet but sometimes J’onn feels like the League is hogging you and ‘has to’ drag you away from everyone quite literally, which goes a little something like this:
“Oh, but J’onn, I was having a lovely conversation with Bruce.” “Oh, I’m very sorry, Y/n, but we really have to go,” as he starts to pull you out of the room. “Alright, sorry Bruce we can talk, more some other time?” Once you both make it out of the room you release a breath, “Dinner?” “Yes.” “Great because I’m hungry and Bruce was gnawing my ear off.” After that you both just laugh.
Dinner goes great by the way and you share chocolate cake at the end before going home to cuddle with your cat and watch baking and cooking shows.
Wally West
Just to get it out there, you show your guys affection through food and physical touch
You make Wally whatever you can cook and make a lot of it for his boosted metabolism. You also order extra pizza for him.
He tries to bake you your favorite desserts but sometimes lacks the patience and other times he eats half of it.
He typically just always buys you your favorite snacks and desserts. Even then he always ‘sneaks’ a bite.
Your PDA is surprisingly low, but as he matures it definitely increases. Like Dick had told you all those years ago it took a while to get used to Wally eating.
I would rate you a 2/10 at the beginning of your relationship and an 8/10 when at your best. (basically Young Justice S1 Wally compared to S2)
You are always touching each other. I don’t mean in an inappropriate way, but considering it is Wally that isn’t unheard of, just not often done in public.
On top of that, he will carry you everywhere, superspeed, normal speed it does not matter. Hand holding always, hugging always. He just wants physical contact. And piggy backs.
But like also, his pickup lines. I repeat his pickup lines. They are so cheesy and corny and you find them endearing somehow. I mean I do too, he is a sweetheart so yeah.
He treats you so well too. Your well-being matters so much to him and if you need something, he will be there in like 3 seconds regardless of where he is.
Nicknames should be expected: whatever you do, whatever you like he finds a way to make it a nickname. He does use babe a lot, but it feels a little basic so he comes up with new one's all the time. Sometimes they stick and other times you choke on air, but the scientific method says that you will fail and retry so it doesn’t phase him.
For the record though, he is Wally so a lot of his nicknames are food based: honey, cupcake, sugar cube, sweet potato, and more.
If you nerd out with him he will never, I repeat, never let you go.
Also if you wear his merch he will be all over you. Depending on the situation and the place it might get a little spicy, but in most cases he will wrap his arms around your middle and just hold you tightly as he falls back into a chair or couch or something. He will not let you go and will nuzzle his face into your neck for hours. For someone that is so fast and gets bored so easily, he will never want any of this to end.
Clark Kent
Yeah, you know. You knew. You were well aware of who he was. One single pair of glasses did not fool you. I mean, you didn’t say anything until like the seventh date, but you knew.
Yay, lucky you are normal, in fact, you do not play hero in your free time, but you do have some abilities.
You blame the particle accelerator explosion that occurred in your last home for your abilities. But they were easy to hide and really helped with your job.
You are a psychologist/part-time therapist. You met Clark through an interview you did about the effects of the most recent attack in Metropolis on the citizens' mental health. You had to fight for this article to even exist, but you did so because you could feel the fear that radiated throughout it.
You did everything you could to provide as much help and information as you could on the topic. Clark had been the photographer for the interview and you both immediately hit it off.
He asked you out to dinner when you stopped by his office to discuss doing another article. Clark said that to celebrate the occasion he could take you out if you wanted.
You said yes because free dinner was nice and he seemed like a good guy, so you thought why the heck not?
Of course, the date went well and you highly enjoyed his company. He asked you out again and said yes.
On your third date, he had to leave early for whatever reason, and then a minute later Superman flew by and started to stop a robbery a block away. Interested, you got as close as you could and were very shocked when you saw Superman’s face.
You didn’t mention it, but he had the same aura with the slightest bit of guilt that you thought was likely toward leaving you mid-date.
Once he knew you knew he eased up a lot and told you all about his past and Krypton and his powers and his hero-ing.
You guys have great communication, which is in part due to your empathic abilities. You can always tell when something bothers him and he is more than willing to talk through whatever troubles him. You do the same understanding that you both thrive off of honesty with each other.
Conversation always comes easy.
Some activities you like to do together are going out for dinner, movie nights, baking, picnic dates, and annoying Bruce Wayne.
Your PDA scale would be like a 4/10 at most. You are very sweet with each other, but sometimes you both find it odd being extra coupley with others around you. Since Clark has super hearing he can tell when people are uncomfortable and since you have your empath abilities you can feel it too. Other people’s moods also affect yours in general so the more people there are the more overwhelmed you feel so you try to avoid anything more than a quick peck on the cheek.
However, it is still very obvious you two are together because you spend a lot of time with each other and go to lunch together basically every day.
Around the Justice League, you can be a little more open with your affections but you both still prefer privacy.
Nicknames: yes. There are some of the basics: darling, dear, love, etc. Clark particularly likes calling you my dear and you enjoy calling him sweetheart. Sometimes you joke around when he enters a room and you say, “It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s my boyfriend, Clark Kent.”
#clark kent#wally west#wallace west#dick grayson#jason todd#bruce wayne#j'onn j'onzz#Martain manhunter#dc universe x reader#superman x reader#batman x reader#wally west x reader#dick grayson x reader#clark kent x reader#jason todd x reader#kid flash#robin 1#robin 2#red hood#red hood x reader#nightwing#nightwing x reader#kid flash x reader#martian manhunter x reader#bruce wayne x reader
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idk if you've ever answered this before (probably, the answer is always probably) but is Bill, like... capable of empathy? Of sympathy? Of love (any kind) or compassion? I guess what I'm asking is how does he relate to other people? Are they all just tools and idle amusements, or does he develop any actual genuine (positive??) attachment to them?
Everything I know about him comes from 8+ year old memories of a cartoon I haven't rewatched since, and discourse I see through your blog, so I'm not sure what the canon consensus is but your word is god enough to me on at least your specific interpretation of Bill.
(I guess it would be moot to ask why he's so fucked up. Feel free to ignore any and all of this ask, it's 12 AM and I'm trawling the web before bed)
for my specific interpretation of Bill? Have this post about empathy and a couple of posts about romantic love. (Okay—three about romance.)
But now let's forget about my interpretation and talk canon.
Empathy! You can roughly split empathy into two categories: "I can logically identify and understand what you're feeling" empathy, and "when you're sad i feel sad and when you're happy I feel happy" empathy.
We absolutely know that Bill has "I understand what you're feeling" empathy, because he uses it again and again to manipulate his victims. He has VERY good emotional intelligence. He understands his victims' insecurities, their desires, how to make them feel happy, angry, ashamed, trustful, mistrustful; he knows when and how to manipulate them based on their mood to maximum effect; etc. We see it in how he manipulates Dipper & Mabel in the show; we see it in how he turns Ford against Fiddleford in Journal 3; we see it in TBOB and on thisisnotawebsitedotcom in the way he talks about how and why he manipulated Ford.
We have no evidence he experiences "I feel what you feel" empathy. That doesn't necessarily mean he DOESN'T, but there's no evidence for it. Never see him get excited just because someone else is excited, never see him cringe sympathetically when someone else is hurt. You could say "maybe on top of being a manipulation tactic, when Bill relates to Ford's estrangement from his family by talking about his destroyed universe, he's also feeling empathy for his situation," but you could also just as easily say "nah it's just manipulation."
Common sense would say well, if he feels other people's pain, it would be harder for him to manipulate, betray, and hurt people so blithely. But we're not talking about common sense, we're talking about canon evidence! It's possible for empathetic people to hurt other people; they can just... learn not to care about that person's feelings. Which is particularly easy to do if the target is someone the person sees as "less important" or dehumanizes them. Bill sees everyone as less important than him. We can't rule either way on whether or not he's got a capacity for emotional empathy we just never see. All we can say for sure is he doesn't appear to turn it on for anyone we see.
Though we see him come close. Although he doesn't feel with any of the Pines, we can see him relate to Ford (during Weirdmageddon, throughout TBOB), to Stan (on TINAWDC), and to Mabel (in TBOB and the Dipper & Mabel's Guide book) via projecting his struggles and beliefs on to them. But in a way this is sort of, reverse empathy?; it doesn't let him feel how they feel, but it makes him assume they feel the way he does.
Sympathy! The definitions of empathy vs sympathy vs compassion are contested so I'm gonna present the definitions I'm using for this post: empathy is "i [feel/understand] what you feel" and sympathy is "i care about how you feel." There's a couple of moments in his interactions with Ford in TBOB that are blatantly manipulative (when he shows Ford what's left of his dimension; to a lesser extent, when he "helps" Ford celebrate his birthday) that might also secondarily be fleeting displays of sympathy. It's ambiguous.
Compassion! Compassion is "i'm moved to help because of how you feel." There's a moment in TBOB when he gets so irritated at Puritan misogyny that he teaches a bunch of Puritan wives how to be witches and has a girls' night burning men at the stake with them. He apparently gets no benefits from this himself, aside from funsies. Is he motivated by compassion for the ladies or ONLY by irritation at how boring the men are? Again, ambiguous.
In TBOB when discussing his exploits in the Nightmare Realm, he mentions freeing patients from insane asylums and criminals from prisons. He also repeatedly mentions disliking captivity. He might be motivated by compassion derived from empathy for prisoners. He doesn't present his motives.
Love! He calls the Henchmaniacs his "family," repeatedly brings up their worries about being erased from reality, and says he takes his party hosting duties to them very seriously. We don't know whether he actually cared about them, or merely called them a family in recognition of their consistent loyalty and obedience. He's pretty disrespectful/violent toward them but that isn't incompatible with being emotionally invested in them beyond their utility. We don't have confirmation he cares for them, or confirmation he doesn't.
Hidden in TBOB and absolutely riddled through TINAWDC are references to his parents caring about him and tender quotes. When he's so blind drunk he doesn't know where he is, he tries to call his mom and asks her to make him a sandwich after school. We know he resents how they pathologized a mutation he was born with; beyond that we can't confirm whether or not he loved them; but just beneath the surface, he's unceasingly haunted by how they loved him.
Romantic love! I wrote a post about the evidence for/against romantic attraction in TBOB. He's confirmed to have at least two ex girlfriends; in the book, he mentions missing them both. He mentions having "seduced" galaxies; we don't know whether these seductions were sexual, sexual+romantic, or metaphorical. He denies having in the exes in the same book where he discusses them, and claims that love is the pupa for hate.
You can choose to interpret this multiple ways. To me it reads most strongly as "he's been in love but sucks at maintaining a relationship because he's an asshole, and he's got sour grapes about it"; but you could read it as "he wants love but his relationships fall apart because he can't feel it and he doesn't examine why" or "the relationships were based on something other than romantic love" and not technically be wrong based on the evidence we have. What we know for sure: he's had multiple relationships; he misses them; he tries to deny they happened; he claims love's dumb.
Genuine attachment to his tools! Bill claims torturing Ford was normal Henchmaniac hazing and he wanted him to join the gang. (Dubious evidence of emotional attachment.) He goes on a raging bender when Ford refuses to join him and escapes before Bill can torture him into joining. (Stronger evidence of emotional attachment.) In Weirdmageddon, seconds after Ford tried to murder Bill, he asks Ford to join him and then turns him into a statue he carries around everywhere when Ford refuses—and this is BEFORE he discovers Ford might still have a practical use for him.
On TINAWDC, he has an exchange that boils down to "Ford was just a tool?" "You say that like it's a bad thing!" "So you never cared about him?" "I didn't say that." He goes on to refer to Ford as his pet and henchman. Demeaning—but, people do feel positively toward their pets.
(It may be worth noting he also calls Teeth the Henchmaniacs' pet. Maybe this is a consistent element to how Bill relates to sentient people.)
There's evidence in TBOB that he felt similarly about his first human henchman, the shaman—at minimum, he's very bitter when the shaman turns on him and he says he's gonna find a "new best friend."
Summary: There's evidence that Bill develops facets of positive attachments to the people around him; but we don't have any evidence that any of these attachments ever added up to a positive & healthy relationship. In all the relationships we see in depth, the toxic aspects outweighed the positive ones.
Summary of the summary: Bill has the capacity for healthy relationships but is too big a douchebag to utilize it.
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The Inevitable Things: chapter four
aizawa x reader fic
cw: cisfem reader, no quirks, office au, miscommunications, slow burn. full tags available on AO3 (linked in masterlist)
previous chapter | masterlist | next chapter
Five messages.
Four texts, one video.
The message preview stares back at you, the LED screen aglimmer in the morning sun, screen bouncing with the tremor of your hand. You're breathing, you're sure of that, but you also think you may have died; no matter how hard you breathe, your chest feels like a popped balloon, deflated and too ripped to hold air. The rush of something whizzing past your ear must be blood, it's too resonant and all encompassing to be anything else--
Five fucking messages.
You can’t bring yourself to open any of them.
You stand there for longer than you’d like to admit, trying to process exactly what you’re looking at. Maybe it’s a glitch, or a typo, but when you turn your phone off and back on again, the unread messages pop up the same. Five unread messages from Aizawa Shouta. It makes sense logically; Aizawa is right above AVOID AT ALL COST in your contacts, you must have just clicked the incorrect thing in your drunken stupor--
But what doesn’t make sense is the fact that he replied-- and he replied positively. Aizawa Shouta does not respond positively to anything. Not the first cup of coffee in the morning, not his interns, probably not even kittens and rainbows, and yet he messaged you back. I’ve always wanted you. You refuse to reread anything from last night, but that sticks in your head.
I’ve always wanted you.
You think about it the entire train ride, nibbling on the edges of your nails to kill the anxious buzz that builds in your jaw. Maybe you should quit. You could change your name and move to some mid-sized city; that’d be easier than the inevitable mess you're headed towards. Suddenly, you miss yesterday, the yelling, the aggression--
It goes back to Touya. You know the question on everyone’s mind when they see you together, when they hear about the fights and the tension and the isolation: why? Why him, why stay, why wait, why, why, why? The answer is as simple as it is stupid: you stay because it's what you know. The turbulence feels like home.
It's like sea legs. When sailors are on boats for a long time, they stop feeling the rock and roll of each wave. It becomes easy to walk straight, to live life like normal, until they return to shore. There, on level streets, long after the tide has pulled away, is where the waves hit.
You've learned to live in rocky waters- you’ve practically perfected it. Touya is your ship and you know his yaws and keels better than you know stability.
This whole situation is the equivalent of stepping ashore and being immediately hit by a semi truck.
The train pulls into your station and you debate staying on for a moment too long. I’ve always wanted you. That sentence makes your stomach turn. What does that mean? Is it solely physical? Is it more?
No, it can’t be. This man hates your guts; there’s no feelings between you other than mild, stupid lust.
Which makes you debate your own feelings. He's certainly… well, he’s not ugly. You’d even say, maybe, perhaps, in the right angles, he’s attractive, especially with this thick thighs and thicker cock-
The train doors almost close before you can scuttle out. Focus, girl, focus. Fighting through your surprisingly aching body and returning headache, you briskly walk the rest of the way to work, trying to think about anything other than the shitshow you’re about to walk into.
Prome is a half mile walk from the station, with only one tiny dash across a busy road. It’s not ideal, but it’s the only option you have right now. The interns have started a carpool, but you’re too old to be riding with them. Besides, Bakugo Katsuki’s car is nice. It’s embarrassing the have worse things than a college student-
A familiar dented, red car squeaks to a halt inches from your ass, so close that you can feel the wind displaced. The squeal of tires steals your breath away and your body clenches in fear, so hard that your muscles scream. You jump and start blabbering in surprise, shouting out unearned apologies as you skitter back. It takes a second to gather yourself, but, when you do, you see a boy jut his head out of the window, all toothy smiles and bleach blonde hair.
“Hey!” he shouts. “If it isn’t my hero!”
“Denki?”
Kaminari Denki waves to you, sunshine personified behind the wheel of a truck without a bumper.
“Hold on, lemme park!”
The red monstrosity barely fits in a space. In its prime, it was probably a pretty car, but being owned by Denki clearly took a toll. The inside is littered with empty energy drink cans, clinking and sloshing as he throws the car into park and launches himself out. There's a reason he's not a part of the group's carpool.
“I could fucking kiss you right now!” He envelopes you in open arms, manhandling you side to side over and over in an overly friendly display.
“Oh, please don't-- Denki!”
He smashes his face into your cheek with a chaste, yet somehow wet smooch. When you try to squirm away, he doubles down; his lips actually make contact with yours, just for a moment, awful and impossibly damp.
“Ew, gross! Get off!” You pry him off and wipe the slime off of your lips with the back of your hand. “Don’t do that!”
“Sorry, my bad, I’m just--” he laughs, “Izuku told me you saved my ass!”
You don’t mention the fact you’re the reason he was in trouble in the first place because you're too busy processing this information.
“Aizawa rehired you?”
“He called me yesterday and apologized, which was, holy shit, it was insane,” Denki says, with a wave of his hands, like it isn’t a shocking turn of events. “What did you do?”
“Nothing, I just, uh--” You grimace at the thought. “I talked to Toshinori. And cried a little.”
In retrospect, it does seem like overkill, but it worked.
“Do that more often!” He goes in for another hug and you reluctantly let him. He smells like axe body spray and cheap deodorant. God, he’s so young-- even the accidental kiss feels dirty. You have to remind yourself that he’s early twenties, really only a couple years younger than you-- wait, no. You’re thirty. “I owe you my life! And my diploma!”
You still can't believe it. Aizawa, hard ass Aizawa, changed his mind? That couldn't be because of you. He's made people cry before, why would you be different-?
Oh. I've always wanted you.
That thought hits you like a punch to the gut.
Maybe it isn't just physical.
You have to shake your head to clear away that thought. You brush your clothes off and adjust yourself. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”
“I’ll buy you a coffee.” He coos as you walk in. The security guard gives you both a curious look, eyebrows wiggling conspiratorially. You just ignore that and focus on getting to your desk. It's almost nine; you're both late. “And anything you want-- alcohol, weed-”
“-We drug test here?”
“We do?” Denki gapes. “Fuck, good to know.”
Maybe saving him wasn’t a good career move. You make it to your desk and drop your stuff on the group. Denki has been following you like a puppy, nipping at your heels the whole way.
“Just… please don’t get fired again." You jerk a head towards his department. "Go do your work."
“Absolutely!” He prances down the hall, wrinkled tie flapping in his wake. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”
You can’t believe he’s here. Truly. All of that worry and stress yesterday feels worth it as you settle into your desk. You clack a couple of keys to wake up your screen-- but there’s no response. After a moment, you try again, then again. A wiggle of the mouse does the trick, but the keyboard still doesn’t wake up when you try to type in your password.
Crap. You split that coffee yesterday. The circuit or whatever must be fried. Great. Today is going to be pretty unproductive if you don’t solve this issue.
Engineering probably has a couple of extras, but you aren’t sure you’re ready to walk straight into the lion’s den, especially now that you aren’t sure how you feel about it all. The fact he rehired Denki does make you feel a bit better; maybe Hizashi and Nemuri were right and he’s actually a good guy. And, you can’t deny that you’re a tiny bit attracted to him now that you’ve seen… everything.
Ugh, you need to make up your fucking mind and decide how you feel about all of this--
At that moment, Aizawa Shouta stomps down the hall, expression as flat and hard as ever. He looks the same as he always does, stupid yellow sweatshirt, messy black hair, under eye circles deep enough to worry about, but your chest hiccups at the sight. You don’t have a plan for this, no prepared speech or anything. For a moment, you wonder if he’s coming to kiss you or ravage you, like in one of those romance novels that are popular online-
And then he passes you and heads straight for the coffee machine. Relief washes over you, then confusion. Not even a hint of attention thrown your way. That’s fairly strange-- you usually get at least a nod or a lukewarm greeting. You push off of your chair and join him the the station.
“Hey, um-” Your idle hands dig into the sugar packets, jostling them side to side. The pitch of the coffee hitting the inside of his mug changes as he pours, pitch creeping higher and higher. His jawline is dusted with a five o’clock shadow, flickers of salt and pepper across his skin and down to the curve of his adam’s apple. You said something about shaving last night, you think. You wonder if he listened or if this is how it’s always been-
“Do you need something?” He interrupts your thoughts, not even looking away from the station.
“I-” What do you need? Confirmation? Reassurance? An explanation? “Uh-”
You suck in a breath and steel yourself, legs shoulder width again from that extra boost of stability. Your voice comes out as a whisper, much shakier than it should be. I've always wanted you. You don't feel the same, but maybe, just maybe, you could learn to.
“Yesterday-- or, uh, last night- I just want to--”
“Let’s save each other the embarrassment and forget everything that happened yesterday.” The coffee pot clinks back into place, only the legs of droplets left to cling to the glass. “We’re out, by the way.”
And with that, he’s gone.
And a second truck has sideswiped you.
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Yall are delusional if you think Nesta is going to leave Cassian or the night court. First, they are mated. Not just mates. Mated. They accepted the bond, and SJM loves her Heas. It's a done deal. So either keep reading and deal with it or drop the series and find something you enjoy. Not to mention if they even could break the bond, how empty and broken Nesta would be for eternity. You really want that for her?
HOFAS happened three months after acosf. There's still alot of healing on Nesta’s part. Just because she saved Rhys, Feyre, and Nyx doesn't mean things are swept under the rug with them. Her and Cassian are both fiery and stubborn. They are going to have arguments. Honestly, it's perfectly normal for them to argue on occasion.
This. What Nesta did in HOFAS. Went beyond her and Cassian, beyond Rhys. This was a decision that Nesta should not have made herself. Yes I understand that she saw Bryce's desperation and understood her. She probably put herself in Bryces shoes for a moment. She took a chance. But it's a huge fucken chance because they don't know nor trust Bryce fully. And if she failed the whole of Prythian/Midgard is fucked. They have nothing to defend themselves against the weaponry Rigelus has. They will all die. Including Nesta Archeron.
Rhys had every right to scold her. And Her saying he's not her High Lord isn't accurate. She lives in his lands. Whether she wants to admit it or not. If any of the courts got wind of what was happening with Bryce or that Nesta gave this mask up to a stranger from another world do you know who would be faulted? Not Nesta. Rhys and Feyre would. They would suffer the consequences because Nesta falls under their lands. Their rule.
And now Cassian, who apparently had never defended Nesta once. Again. Nesta was In. The. Wrong. Her actions were beneficial and understandable but wrong. Cassian being upset and disappointed in her would absolutely make sense. Think of times in TOG, when Rowan wasn't happy with Aelin. He stood there silent until they were alone. That's more than likely what happened. Cassian didn't say his piece until everyone left. It's an argument between Nesta and Cassian and no one else.
That argument. The one that happened off page yet everyone wants to fucking crucify Cassian over cause you think you know what he said. When in reality you don't. Is wild. Three months ago, when she was with Emerie and Gwyn, they were taken and placed in the Blood Rite where he was helpless in going to her. He lost her briefly in the bog, watched her put her life at risk. How many times in acosf? He went a year or so watching Nesta absolutely ruin herself, had her lay over his body in front of Hybern, almost losing her, them, then too. Now, someone, a stranger and someone potentially dangerous, opened a portal in his living room where his mate was. And he wasn't there. All that trauma and ptsd he keeps on lock was blown wide open.
So now Cassian is a storm of emotions when he arrives home. Probably arrived mid argument between Nesta and Rhys, and the entire flight was given brief details of what's happening fueling his emotions. His fear, trauma, concern, disappointment, and anger. When Rhys leaves, Cassian and Nesta got into it. Sure he was pissed about the mask anyone would be. I would be. I personally think it goes on beyond that. Far beyond it. Nesta’s life, once again, was put a risk and no one knew what Bryce wanted. Cassian’s worst fear when the portal was open, was Bryce taking Nesta and never seeing her again. All that came out in their fight.
As readers, we know Bryce's intentions are good. They as characters who haven't been given the best view of Bryce dont believe it. Yes, I do think there needs to be more trust in Nesta. Especially where Rhys is considered. Cassian, as her mate, blowing things out of proportion is logical cause all mates have done it at some point. But yeah he needs to trust her a bit more too. He trusts her more than Rhys does that's for sure.
To play devil's advocate, I could be wrong on Cassian and Nesta and their fight. Absolutely. Im not Sarah. But neither are you who are wishing he dies, and Nesta leaves him over a risk that was never hers to make alone when it involves the whole world of Midgard.
If you read this entire thing and disagree. That's cool. The unfollow and block buttons are right there.
#im so fucking tired of seeing this#leave Cassian alone jfc#until we have confirmation of exactly what went down its all speculation#hofas spoilers#nessian#nesta archeron#cassian#rhysand#feyre archeron#feysand#bryce quinlan#pro cassian#pro nessian#acotar#a court of thorns and roses#crescent city#house of flame and shadow
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I see and love all your tearjerker proposal ideas, but we don’t talk enough about the absolute hilarity that would ensue with an Evan Buckley Proposal™️. Like I’m imagining him being soooo excited about it in the most Buck way possible. He has this ten page speech about how much he loves Tommy and how they’re soulmates and the universe pulled a sick one by putting them on each other’s paths and he’s planning to tell Tommy all that before he pops the question and he’s preparing this big romantic night for it with the most romantic flowers and the most romantic music and the most romantic ring at the most romantic place in all of Los Angeles and he’s roped in everyone at the station to help him, threatened Chim with cold-blooded murder if he doesn’t keep his mouth shut, made Eddie reassure him about every step of his plans not twice but thrice, talked to Bobby with blushing cheeks and fidgeting hands till Bobby gave him his absolute blessing. Hen, Maddie, Athena, they’re all in on it. He’s Ready to do it The Right Way.
Then at like 2pm on a lazy Tuesday afternoon his poor brain that has been overworking on this for weeks gets overloaded and crashes. And suddenly he Needs To Ask Tommy Right Now. Like, just like that the entire plan is overridden, and he doesn’t even process what he’s doing before he sends Eddie a text that just says, “I think I will do it now” and ditches his phone and marches to the garage where Tommy has been working on his truck all day.
The next thing we know Eddie is opening his door to a Buck who has his arms wrapped around himself and his big blue eyes are filled with tears. He looks like a puppy kicked a thousand ways and before Eddie can even open his mouth he cries out, “He said no,” and drops face first on Eddie’s couch. Eddie is like ???? but also “Well, I can’t deal with this shit on my own,” so he calls Hen and Chimney and ten minutes later Buck is sitting on the couch being interrogated by his best friends.
They’re all obviously confused.
Hen, disbelieving, asks, “He said no?”
Buck makes the most pathetic pitiful sound known to the human kind and nods.
Chimney, not really helpful, murmurs, “Well, that doesn’t make any sense,” to himself because he knows how much Tommy loves Buck and would say yes to marrying him months, hell, years ago.
Hen, trying to make sense of it all asks, “What did he exactly say?” because Chim is right, it doesn’t make a lick of sense.
Buck, still looking like a wet cat, goes, “He said it wasn’t the right thing for us.” His voice hitches and he moans, “He said it wasn’t s-smart.”
Hen and Chim shoot a look at each other. Eddie at this point is getting angry because what the fuck? Which is exactly what he says and Hen, the only one trying to be actually somewhat helpful, shakes her head like, “No, Eddie,” and then to Buck with what she hopes is a reassuring voice says, “Maybe he just doesn’t believe in the institution of marriage?”
Buck looks even more miserable at that and buries his face in his hands as he bemoans “Noooo,” and shakes his head like he’s grieving. “We t-talked about it before. At the beginning of our relationship, we both agreed we’d do that if it felt like the right time.” He slumps back on the couch like his life has just ended. “I t-thought it was the right time.”
Eddie, totally pissed off now because how are you gonna be with a guy for years, move in together, buy a house together, be committed to each other fully, and then say no to his marriage proposal, goes, “Oh fuck him. Do you want me to beat some sense into him?” Because damn, this is his best friend who looks absolutely crushed and Eddie will kick Tommy’s ass, fuck the fact that he’s really good at Muay Thai, he hasn’t seen Eddie’s wrath before.
Hen, still the sound of logic and seeing how Buck gets sadder each passing moment, stops him again. “We’re not beating anyone up.” Then says, “Buck, I’m sure it’s a misunderstanding. Tommy loves you.” Because yeah he does in the most sickening teen boy with a puppy crush way, so none of this makes sense and Hen’s brain is whirring but she’s not sure what’s happening yet. “And you love Tommy.”
Buck, hands covering his face again moans into his palms, “I do.” Then his hands drop, and his face shot with panic and fear he goes, “Wait?! Does this mean we broke up?”
A pissed-off, disbelieving noise leaves Eddie; Chim shoots another look towards Hen’s way; Hen just gives an awkward unsure smile. “No. No.” She tries to reassure him. “Of course not.”
“I mean,” Chim says with a shrug. “I don’t see how a relationship comes back from that, you know?”
This gets Buck start crying again.
“You’re. Not. Being. Helpful. Chim.” Hen mutters.
Eddie jumps up, “Oh, I’m beating him up for you.”
Buck’s wails get louder.
It all devolves from there with Buck going between hollering and sniffling and Eddie dead-set on confronting Tommy and Hen trying to do damage control with “We’re just gonna talk to him,” and Chim continuing to be absolutely unhelpful with his comments about how Tommy is great, and so cool, and perfect, and he’d make a great brother-in-law, and this doesn’t make any sense.
So, the four of them somehow find themselves marching towards the Buckley-Kinard house with Eddie at the helm and Buck looking like a pathetic mess between them. They’ve barely entered the front yard when Tommy bursts out the front door with his phone in his hand and he goes, “Where have you been?! I’ve been calling you for hou—”
“I trusted you, man!” Eddie shouts, voice echoing through the street.
Tommy stops in his tracks. He takes in the sight of his friends who are all shooting him deadly (and confused) glares. Then he looks at his boyfriend and finds him avoiding his eyes, keeping his gaze at his feet like all the happiness has been sucked out of his entire universe. Brows furrowing in confusion, Tommy takes a step towards him. “Evan.” He tilts his chin up and sucks in a breath when he sees the tear tracks on Buck’s face. His own face crumbles, now in concern. “Baby, what’s wrong?”
Eddie lets out a mirthless laugh. “Pretending you don’t know, huh?”
Tommy looks at him, at Chim, at Hen. “Don’t know what?”
“Oh, you’re a bigger asshole than I thought, Kinard.” Eddie spits in his face, his head shaking. “Acting like nothing’s wrong after saying no to a guy’s proposal so cruelly.”
Tommy freezes. His gaze snaps to Buck with a confused, “What?” but Buck is avoiding his eyes again. “What proposal?” Tommy asks. “Evan didn’t propose to me.”
At this point all tired and beaten Buck sighs, “It’s okay, Tommy.”
“No. No—” Tommy shakes his head. “What are you talking about?”
Buck shrugs. “We don’t have to talk about it now.”
“Evan.”
Sighing again, Buck finally looks up. “Look, I get it. We can talk about it later.” He chews at his lip. “Right?” Because he’s still not sure if they’re broken up or not and god he really wishes they’re not because marriage is a dumb institution rooted in patriarchy to maintain and reinforce traditional gender roles and they didn’t even let two men marry till a decade ago, so it’s not like they need anyone’s acknowledgement and all he needs is Tommy, but also he had the absolute perfect ring picked out and he doesn’t know if he can get a refund on it, and calling Tommy his husband would be so fucking nice, and maybe he has been dreaming about that for the past however many years.
At this point, he’s tearing up again, so Tommy cups his face and brushes away some of the tears, before saying with the biggest gentlest eyes, “We can talk about anything you want. But… Baby, what proposal?”
Buck sniffles. “Earlier. W-when I asked you in the garage.”
Tommy frowns harder because that doesn’t make any sense. “You didn’t ask me to marry you, Evan.”
“Yes, I did, Tommy,” Buck huffs.
“No, you asked me if I wanted to take a vacation.”
“I think I know what I asked.”
“You said you wanted to go on a trip!”
“That’s not what I said!”
“Okay, you didn’t say trip! You said, you said something like if I wanted to take a new journey with you! Embark on adventure or something. You said you wanted a travel companion for a voyage!”
“Lifelong voyage.” Buck murmurs, lips pursing and arms crossing together. “For our grand adventure together.”
No one says anything for a minute as Buck avoids their eyes and scuffs his feet in the dirt.
At last, as the person with any semblance of intelligence Hen says, “Buck. Did you use any word related to marriage? Like “husband” or “marry” or even “matrimony”?” Her eyebrows rises. “Anything that’s not a metaphor?”
Buck, face red up to the hairline now, just shrugs. “I had a-a speech, okay? I was n-nervous and it was long so I had to paraphrase.”
Finally, Hen sighs, not unkindly.
Chim chuckles, kinda unkindly.
Eddie looks almost as embarrassed as Buck and murmurs, “Sorry, man,” to Tommy as the realization hits it was just his best friend being a huge dumbass and Tommy actually didn’t do anything to deserve a beating.
Tommy, his entire focus on his boyfriend and not paying them any attention, pulls Buck’s arms down and lifts his face up again. He gives him a smile. “I said no because I thought you were asking to go on a trip, Evan,” he says softly. “And that we’ve just got a mortgage together and can’t afford one.” He shakes his head. “I was covered in grease, Pearl Jam was playing in the background, I wasn’t paying attention.”
Still looking abashed but at least not snotty anymore, Buck says, “N-no. No. It’s my fault. I’m sorry, Tommy,” he says with a shrug.
Tommy smiles again. “It’s okay, baby.” For a moment, he rubs his boyfriend’s arms up and down, then says, “Sooo…”
Buck, realizing the faint pink on his boyfriend’s face, looks at him with the roundest eyes. “You mean…?”
“Well…” Tommy shrugs. “Are you gonna ask me for real or what?”
The sun dawns on Buck’s face. His eyes go bright with fresh but happier tears. “Yea-yeah.” He nods frantically. “Tommy. W-will you marry me?”
“Yes,” Tommy says. Buck pounces on him with a kiss that gets a surprised moan from him as Hen, Chimney, and Eddie start clapping and Buck cries again and so does Tommy and later that night, Buck gives him the perfect ring he had picked out and come Saturday they actually go to the greatest restaurant in LA and Tommy listens as Buck explains every step of his original proposal and all the metaphors he’s curated carefully for his speech.
The end.
#i was like i dont wanna write this fic but then my silly tumblr post about it become 2k lol#also p sure this was the premise of a fic ive read like a decade ago but i dont remember what it was#if anyone knows let me know#bucktommy#tevan#911#911 fanfic#bucktommy fic#kinley#911 fic#mimi.txt
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