#npmd was real bad for it

[purecommemasolitude]

so uh. what's up with the hatchetfield subtitles and being flat-out wrong

[jonmattdaily]

he loves life!

[treeckos-for-arson]

jon matteson’s vocal improvement from tgwdlm to npmd means the whole world to me

[infectedpaul]

just got my digital ticket. grace chasity is the only good part thus far 

[myersesque]

i think part of why npmd works so well is bc the nerdy prudes are all kinda real af??? like... i dressed just like pete in highschool and have pictures to prove it. for better or for worse, watching richie in certain scenes was like fondly cringing at my past self. ruth's reflexive "don't bully me!" and their collective tendency to assume the worst whenever the popular kids talk to them (and the realisation that not all of them are bad, actually, some of them - like steph - are really cool)... god. it's so real. painfully so, at times

[kiyooriu]

NPMD headcanons based on nothing but what my 100% Real Psychic Powers tell me

- richie hates eating peanuts. not because he’s allergic, not because he dislikes the taste but a Secret Third Thing

- after exactly 2 hrs, 35 mins, and 16 secs pete will always ALWAYS stretch back and let out the loudest scream known to man to get his extra energy out

- ruth wrote an entire 1 hr 30 min musical based on star wars one night and it’s on soundcloud somewhere but she won’t tell anyone how to find it (pete found it on accident but won’t tell her because he knows she’d probably freak out about it, he still listens to it occasionally)

- steph can play the bass nd her go-to song is hey barbara (IV of Spades)

- in line with this ^^ pete has rudimentary guitar skills and wanted to write a few songs with ruth’s help but she refused

- grace wanted to learn how to play the flute but was never allowed to bc her parents thought it would “give her ideas”

- richie’s trans awakening was in elementary when he and two other friends wanted to dress as the kids from dinosaur king nd the other girl was really insistent on being zoe so he dressed up as rex and it Felt Nice

- richie’s BI awakening was the sasunaru kiss and he thought he was homophobic bc he “felt weird after seeing it”

- RUTH’S bi awakening was watching lotr fellowship of the ring when arwen said “if you want him, come and claim him” (she rewatched it multiple times and didn’t sleep)

- one time in elementary grace really wanted candy but her parents were Very against it so she paid a friend to get her one (1) gumball and dhe felt so bad she cried about it and wanted to lock herself up in church

- richie is Mildly into kpop (bc a lot of anime enjoyers i know also like kpop) and he tried to get ruth into it too (mostly the choreography bc he wants ruth to get into dancing again)

- everyone in grace’s elementary was reading harry potter nd she wanted to know what the hype was about but didn’t want the Devil Magic to get her so she borrowed a copy from the library under another student’s name and then burned it after reading to “show god she condemned the devil worshipping” (i think she’s unhinged enough for that)

- pete’s favorite scooby-doo character is shaggy ahaha

- steph used to roleplay teen titans with some childhood friends and would always ask the boy she liked at the time to be beast boy so she could be raven and pretend they were a couple

brain juice wore off pls enjoy the hcs 👾

[disregardcanon]

i'm thinking about a npmd the good place au and HOO BOY the ideas

it's a season 1 setup, with tinky as the architect of the neighborhood.

... good janets are petes and bad janets are teds. OUR pete is the neighborhood's pete and he's just kinda. trying to get by. shit's weird, guys. he doesn't remember how he got here and all his protocols have been messed up and the guy that took him isn't very nice. but this is- it's fine. it has to fine (there's no other choice.)

grace chastity is still adjusting to the idea that the christian god isn't real. she is not enjoying that very much, but she IS validated by the idea that her actions as a christian got her into The Place Where Good People Go. her actual exploits like mission trips and getting dances canceled and running abstinence camp are what are brought up during the Look How Cool We Are Welcome to the Neighborhood gala.

steph has been assigned to be her soulmate. she isn't supposed to be here. she's not like, an ABSURDLY bad person for anything, she just. was raised by solomon lauter. so she got the hell out of dodge after graduation and MAYBE she did some scams to get by after that. and like maybe she knows how to make a molotov cocktail and has used one once or twice. she certainly isn't The Best Person Who Did All These Things To Help the World and Support Great Liberal Causes that they keep saying she is. (she... wishes she was. though.) and these bible studies that her soulmate (soulmate???? THE FUCK) grace chastity keeps trying to force her to do so not to out her to the authorities as A Mistake Who Should Not Be Here. really aren't helping. (like come on. grace still insists that it's bad to be bisexual but look who her soulmate is? STEPH! so maybe steph knows more about how to adjust to this new world that little miss evangelist does)

ruth fleming is the first recorded case (according to tinky) of a Human Without a Soulmate in the history of humanity. just her fucking luck. she can't even get the robot guy to fuck her. ughgggghhh. you spend your life writing high quality erotic for lonely people and it gets you into heaven! but it doesn't even get you a partner. fuckin' rude

max jagerman doesn't think that he did anything wrong. he was the king of hatchetfield high, and then hatchetfield community college, and then he managed to fight his way to a backup quarterback spot on the jacksonville jaguars (this is the good place it will be the jaguars). and then! he's the REAL quarterback! if patrick ma-fucking-homes would just drop dead he'd be the most famous quarterback in the united states, thank you!

but when he dies... the guy doesn't tell him congrats on all the success. he doesn't even recognize that this is MAXWELL JAGERMAN! the quarterback who should be the most famous and well-respected in the united states. he makes some weird references to how... ambition... is... bad? and that those that hurt other people are... bad? says something about being a channel of peace or whatever? and that if this was a mix up then max is free to go to "drowsy town"? whatever the fuck that means.

so when he says "but you're not an ambitious bully that hurt others to get where you were! you're a super nice silent catholic monk who promoted peace on earth, right?" and max just.... stares.

"do you want to keep up your vow of silence? you can just nod." and max... does. because what the fuck do you say to that? shit shit shit shit shit shit FUCK

his "soulmate" is richie lipschitz, warrior for the sanctity of other people's art. why, if his youtube channel that makes fun of other people's bad art and takes and uses his fan base to come after much smaller creators isn't a net positive in the world, then what IS? some loser who doesn't understand anything complaining about the fascist implications of attack on titan on the internet? HA! (richie is disappointed that his soulmate isn't someone better, who likes him, but it was never going to live up to rei or asuka anyway. so he'll live)

he's the only one who knows max, and they went to high school together. max was the exact sort of bully that he was in canon. and it takes a LOT of sweet talk about how richie's the one who's actually supposed to be here to get him to stay quiet about the Max Actually Being an Awful Football Player and Not That Cool Silent Monk thing.

ruth and richie become friends through a series of sitcom tomfoolery. the sitcom tomfoolery is mainly Dragging The Poor Robot Into Playing Games and then Getting Mad That He's Better At The Games Than They Are. also ruth getting frustrated that the robot does not want to fuck her. (it's not because the robot does not want to fuck she's just not his type)

steph knows that she recognizes that silent monk guy from somewhere but can't quite put her finger on it, and she knows that something is VERY wrong here.

grace is developing a crush on her soulmate and does not know how to do that. (does being a soulmate count as marriage? is it actually bad to be gay when god doesn't even properly exist? did her actions matter since she wasn't serving a real god? what do you do with an EXISTENTIAL CRISIS IN THE AFTERLIFE?!?!?! ugh stomachache.)

max wants to figure out how to go back to being The Coolest Guy Ever, FUCK YEAH (he can't even shout go nighthawks or jacksonville jaguars, because he can't talk! it sucks!) but he knows that his soulmate Will Not Help. the guy, unreasonably, is still holding high school against him. and also everything else that max has legitimately messed up since then. (ha, it's almost like. consequences to your actions-) and then he meets grace chastity, biggest prude and most Sure of Herself in This Entire Place.

and he's in love <3 he prostrates himself in front of her and BEGS her to help him become "a good person" so that he can stay here. and grace is like i really don't have time for that i have to teach my own Secretly Shitty Soulmate the bible. and steph's like uh you can just. stop doing that. i'm really not interested-

and grace is like NO YOU ARE NOT LEAVING ME YOU BEAUTIFUL CHARMING SEDUCTRESS! and steph's like ugh. did i finally cure this girl's internalized homophobia in time for her to just. not leave me the fuck alone? fuck

so a max who, in theory, wants to learn grace chastity's version of Good Personhood so that he can earn his spot here and become Coolest Guy in the Good Place, King of Good Place High, and mainly just wants to spend time with her and get her to like him, grace who is having a bisexual panic attack and also fighting off existential dread, and steph, who knows that there is something very very wrong here and that grace can't help her with morality but also. has not figured out what's wrong or who can. is just stuck here while the other two flirt and grace occassionally remembers to make googly eyes HER way instead of max jagerman's. who IS the famous football player. what a fuckin' world

steph starts trying to research What the Fuck Is Wrong Here, and realizes that max's soulmate, richie, and tragically unattached ruth are befriending the Robot with Godlike Knowledge. and she's like oh wow i could probably utilize that in my Research.

more sitcom shenanigans occur. grace and max stop noticing that their third wheel isn't attending bible studies and they become more and more them just dancing towards sexual encounters.

steph uses her con artist raised by a politician (other type of con artist) skills to notice more and more strange fuckery, as things with the world start spiraling further and further out of control.

"you're pretty funny. you know, for a robot."

"not a robot."

"then what are you, exactly?"

"... a spankoffski?" and steph feels really bad for laughing.

she gets figured out as Not Who She Appears to Be and has to go through this big long contrived process to get to stay in the good place instead of getting shipped off, and it just seems... like so much. they bring up reps from the bad place and the stakes seem so contrived.

ruth and richie shenanigan together by Trying to Find The Swinger Soulmate Pairs while steph tries to figure out why, exactly, nothing feels real. and it feels less real when the walls start to enclose and she might be getting removed from the good place entirely.

the bad place representatives show up: another weird guy with another weird name and his own robot.

the bad place even has their own version of pete- a weird, horny bastard who won't answer anyone's questions and just complains the whole time. but why would that demon that they brought up be... willing? to let them cut a deal? why does their architect seem... weirdly chummy with them? they act almost the same, treating their robot right hands with the same amount of... callous contempt. perhaps the Ted "deserves" it, but-

... why isn't tinky kind to pete? pete might not be HUMAN, but he's still... sentient. he has thoughts and feelings and he's her favorite company in this godforsaken place- and tinky is supposed to be the creator of a place that's good and just.

what exactly are their numbers indicating? why is everything so confusing and bullshit and-

she runs out to the lake, just to clear her head. sit by the water and watch. she pulls her knees up to her chest and wraps her arms around them.

"hey pete?" she asks. the well-dressed robot materializes beside her. sitting cross-legged.

"everyone has... points, right? that's how they figure out if you go to the good place or the bad place?"

"that's correct."

"who has the most points here?"

"you."

steph chuckles. "good one, spankoffski. i didn't know you could joke on purpose"

he tilts his head in confusion. "it wasn't a joke."

"i- what?"

"there are only 5 sets of numbers here. yours is the highest. it's been going up steadily ever since you got here."

steph just stares. "pete, there can't- there's hundreds of people here. why would only 5 of us have numbers?"

"only humans have numbers," he says simply. and oh god, oh fuck, oh shit-

"how did you get here?" she asks softly.

he looks thoughtful for a moment. "i... don't remember."

so steph gathers up the five other humans and they break their way into tinky's office, pete in tow.

and he's like "huh. what are you all doing here together?"

the other four humans are still confused, but steph is a forceful personality and convinced them this was the only way to fix things.

"go ahead and send me to the bad place," steph says, "i thought about it, and i don't want to keep making things so HARD on all of you. i was soooo selfish in life, but i don't want to keep that up."

tinky looks anxious. "oh steph, you aren't a burden."

she smiles. "but i thought i wasn't even supposed to be here?"

"we've made it work," tinky promises.

steph laughs. "i don't think so. this show reminds me what my dad would do, when he wanted to seem like he was fighting for something politically that he already had set up. it's all a show, right?"

tinky grins tightly. "i don't know what you mean."

"you're not sending me to the bad place, because i'm ALREADY THERE!" she declares. the other humans gasp. pete looks unfazed.

tinky blinks. "i don't know what you're talking about."

"there are only 5 sets of numbers here," steph says, "and guess whose is the highest? MINE! and i'm not even supposed to be here."

"two clerical errors? really?" steph demands.

"things happen," tinky says.

"and the three that got here fair and square?" steph asks, "we have a self-righteous church girl, a bullied youtuber who started bullying people himself, and an erotic writer. of teacher/student!" steph laughs, "come on, you're telling me that THOSE are the best humanity has to offer? and that max and i both just so happpenneeddd to end up here? in error?"

tinky grits his teeth. "no one else here is even human. if they were, they'd act like it. and they'd have numbers. but they don't."

"this is our own little nightmare realm that you cooked up to torture us."

then tinky laughs, maniacal and goat-like.

"wait," grace whispers, "i'm not... a good person?"

"NO!" tinky cackles, "that was the fun! but now... someone's ruined it for all of us. we're going to have to reset everything now. are you happy, stephanie?"

she frowns. "reset?" tinky snaps his fingers, and the humans pass out on his floor.

"i'm not supposed to be here," pete says, looking with wide eyes over to the passed out humans.

"ugh," tinky says, "RESET!" and not-a-robot not-a-boy spankoffski resets too.

he has another chance at this. and another. and another. and another. and another- however many it takes to get this right. and he WILL get this right, after all. he has all the time in the world.

[bird-likes-to-fandom]

why do you dislike michie? /genuinely curious

cracks my knuckles. I'm so glad you asked, dear anon!

First and foremost, I want to say that I'm big on "do what you want forever" when it comes to fandom, even if I hate a certain ship. Just because I post about hating something (because it's my opinion and I can also do what I want forever), doesn't mean I'm gonna police or attack people who love it. I have like 4 or 5 mutuals who like michie! I'm completely fine with others liking it, it's just not my thing and since you asked, I'm gonna tell you why.

Hello! If you're going through the npmd tag and reblogging this post, please reblog the version with the readmore. I meant to put one here the first time and apparently forgot! I'm sorry.

I've tagged this post with "anti michie" for tag blocking purposes.

I don't understand it at all. Max is a vicious, vicious bully, who terrorizes Richie and his friends for literally no fucking reason. He's constantly on a power trip and he enjoys it, and no matter what his home life is like, I don't think that justifies his actions. It doesn't justify his actions. The entire school lives in fear of him, the entire school has physically or emotionally felt his wrath, even his so called "friends", Kyle and Jason. Hell, Richie says he used to not be able to even open his locker out of fear. If Max hadn't died, and if he had genuinely worked on himself, the absolute MOST I could see between him and Richie is a shaky acquaintanceship. I don't think anyone would want ANYTHING to do with him for a very long time, once they knew it was safe to not suck up to him.

I don't understand how people can watch the Nerdy Prudes Must Die song and scene and think it's mutual-love relationship material. Richie's death is genuinely haunting, even only the parts we see of it. Richie is sobbing, begging for his life, and Max taunts him, and you think that's fluffy? And reminder - we don't actually see Richie's real death. We see Max about to strike and laugh maniacally before the lights go black, but at the beginning Bailey says Richie was purple-nurpled and swirlied to death. At the beginning and in Richie's death scene, we hear Max calling out for him, toying with him like predator and prey.

A lot of people make ghost Max out to be nothing that he is in canon, a lot of people make him a goofy guy who is just mildly annoyed by Richie's and Ruth's ghosts. And while canon Max has his funny and silly moments, it's important to remember his actual character and what he represents - a figurative and literal monster. In fanon, people erase all of Max's bad traits, which is what his entire character is meant to be. He's not some dumb himbo, he's a bully. He's meant to represent a real thing that hurts and even kills real people. It's a disservice to take that from him.

I've seen certain Michie works put emphasis on Richie being the one to forgive Max, and not Max taking the long road to work on himself, when in reality it is NEVER on the victim to forgive their abuser. Even if Max works on himself and redeems himself to the best of his ability, even if he gives Richie the most sincere apology in the multiverse, Richie does not have to forgive him. He does not owe him that. And I don't think Richie would forgive him, at least not for a long, long time.

And also, if you want to ship Richie with someone who needs a little redemption, Jason Jepson is right there, and it's a way more probable ship than Michie ever has the capacity of being.

[infected-paul]

could you summarize the lore drops? its gonna be a while until im able to watch the stream :/

Disclaimer: I watched bits and pieces of the stream off and on again with very bad connection, so I have not picked up on everything!!! I think you might be better answered by someone else but, still, thanks for thinking of me, I hope this helps somewhat!!

Spoilers for Pit Stop in Hatchetfield below:

Charles yellow jacket is Charles Coven, owner of CCRP he is the coven in the name!!!!

Dan and Donna are smoke club members.

They were both! present at the protest at the Hatchetfield kennel.

They dropped lore on the problematic puppy but i missed that.

Miss Holloway got to be a bit bitchy and i loved that she is so fucking badass bro.

They read through a scene of Bottle Imps and two (or three?) scenes of Miss Holloween.

Extreme bouts of Hollo-lore.

She is concerningly chill about sacrificing herself.

She has had enough! of giving herself up when it all inevitably is pointless. She's done her fair share of good!! She deserves to do something for herself for once, god damn it.

The Lords in Black appear as children! in cute little onesies. They seem to like Miss Holloway.

She has multiple names, she wants back her real, true one. There's one Wiggly wants.

Tinky smittenly repeats that Miss Holloway thinks he's cute! (she said it about all 5 of them)

Charles used to work in government (possibly PEIP) and he knows President Howard Goodman.

Miss Holloway revokes her deal with the Lords in Black. Implications... Think of them.

They mention a girl she saved ten years prior who didn't make it during that decade. It hits Miss Holloway hard. to the point she decides to turn back on her deal.

Brenda, the cheerleader from NPMD is a waitress at Miss Retro's!

Kyle went to college and Brenda failed. They are no longer together.

Duke helped Holloway set up an email! She is not good with this stuff.

New characters revealed:

Pastor Todd (Jon), a man that Riley's mother enlists to try and help her son. He does not what he's doing and calls Holloway.

Riley, a kid who finds a mask which attachs itself to and possesses him.

Monster Mask (Jeff), a mask that's a demonic entity of some sort.

Blaire (Mrah), Riley's mother.

Tucker the Fucker: Brenda's boyfriend. He sucks ass. Miss Holloway doesn't like him.

That's all I can remember at the moment, anon! I'm so sorry this is hours late, I got busy, but I hope this helps!!! If I remember more, I might edit this. (This does not touch on the death match. Unfortunately, I can't recap that)

[yourlegacysnotyourstosee]

I took notes on my thoughts while watching Nerdy Prudes Must Die because I did the same for Black Friday

DAMN Jon said “I am a TENOR”

I literally can’t get over how good he sounds

AHHHHHH LAUREN!!!!!

Bro these songs SLAP

Damn Mariahs hair is so long

Pete is such a mood

I’m literally terrified of being pantsed so bad

BRUH NOT MICRO-PETER

Omg hey Kim

When Cory enthusiastically agrees I’m dying

Omg Max likes Grace???????

Wait that’s so cute

Wait why’s he kinda fine

“His name is Jesus Christ” HELP 💀💀💀💀💀

It’s giving Apex Predator (from Mean Girls)

Damn these HARMONIES THO

My jaw is on the floor the way Cory is talking to her

“How am I supposed to study without listening to Spotify?” ME LMFAO

I KNOW HE DID NOT JUST MAKE AN ISSAC NEWTON JOKE

The way hes like “this is about thermodynamics” me me me. I hate when people make jokes about the things we’re not even talking about.

“NANI” NO WAY HE SAID THAT HELP💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀I LITERALLY CANNOT BREATHE 💀💀💀💀���💀

Study date????????

Joey Richter my beloved ❤️❤️❤️

When Max enters and the crowd cheers

“Rondevuch”

Max literally has a God complex

Why is Kim everyones mom?

“Walen place”?????

“Mom will you pass the butt stuff????” HELP SHES BEEN CORRUPTED

NO WAY SHES FANTASIZING ABOUT MAX JAGERMAN

LITERALLY WHAT

Awwww Grace is experiencing Catholic Guilt™ ❤️❤️❤️

Girl wdym “he’s gotta go”???

Laurens character is bisexual???????

“WAIFU MATERIAL”?????? I literally can’t get over Jons character

Wait Grace is a little fucked up actually

Wait since the Waylons built hatchetfield high and the starlight theater, could they have cursed the town somehow? Like I know about the evil brothers or whatever, but I’m not super familiar with the lore

Wait I kind of love Grace now

Mariah slays

“Am I reading as Ghost, or Lin Manuel Miranda?” AWWWWWW❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

“Your fucking useless Pete.” Tgwdlm???? In MY npmd???? It’s more likely than you think

I’m very suspicious about how fast they seemed to put the plan together…

I know the plan wont work and Im so nervous I’m getting secondhand embarrassment so bad rn

“Skele-ens”

I need Max Jagerman actually

Awwww Max is a Theater Kid ❤️❤️❤️

AW FUCK HE DIED

HOLY FUCK HE DIED

GIRL WTF IS WRONG WITH GRACE

I love how upbeat this song is

WHYD SHE CUT HIS NIPPLES OFF WTF

Omg Dan and Donna!

Slay Mayor Lauter

His reaction to being asked to the game is giving- “she asked me for the time” “no way” “way :D”

THE NIGHTHAWKS MASCOT 💀💀💀💀

FUCK CLIVESDALE

DAMN THEYRE IN THE SPLITS GOOD FOR THEM

I like that the football team has only 2 players

I love when actors walk through the audience, but ESPECIALLY here when hes stalking Richie bro looks so good

Listen I know he’s about to kill Richie but HES SO FINE HELP

Im literally so Gay bro

THE SMOKE CLUB!!!!!!

THE NIGHTMARE TIME THEME

When she says hes not hot anymore girl speak for yoursef

Please let Grace swear

Oh fuck they’re giving themselves away

Grace Chastity said “acab”

Cory needs more songs

MAN IN A HURRY RETURNS!!!!!

Damn who is this girl in a trenchcoat 😍😍😍

GERALD OH MY GOD

Random side note but what happened to Robert? I was just thinking about how I wish we could see Hidgens again but is Robert still a part of Starkid anymore? Is he on to Bigger and Better things? Does anyone know what those are? I’d love to continue to support him.

Edit: NVM NVM I TAKE IT BACK I DO NOT WANT TO SUPPORT ROBERT MANION NO NO NO SIR

The invisible bird. Literally high school theater

“Heahs the thang about ah bahbecue”

“Ah wawna remember who ah ayum”

Ruth is so real for not know when to do the lights bc the cue lines were wrong

Ugh Laurens voice is so good and I know ive said that about pretty much everyone but it’s true

I know shes about to die rn

The red lighting gave it away

THE WAY HE LOOKS INTO CAMERA AFTER HE KILLS HER I NEED HIM SO BAD

Why did Kim scream like that

Awww Grace has religious trauma now ❤️❤️❤️

THE COPS THEME

OH MY GOD PAUL AND EMMA!!!!!!!!!

He gave her his number❤️❤️❤️

Hot chocolate boy!!!!!!!! I knew Peter was the hot chocolate boy but still

This duet is EVERYTHING

Obsessed with the fact he called MARIAH ROSE FAITH a MEAN GIRL

“Axe wielding maniacs?”

The Waylons did not dig that shit very deep…

OH FUCK THEY HAVE TO SUMMIN THE LORDS IN BLACK

I KNEW THE WAYLONS BUILT LAKESIDE MALL

im so sorry Zombie Max is So Fine

WIGGLY

THEY HAVE HUMAN FORMS??????

“Let me check my Christmas list”

“What do you want steph?” MORE tgwdlm? In MY npmd?

I feel bad for not knowing all their names

Max says bitch a lot

Damn this show is long

Omg this is so sad im tearing up a lil

Max is so fucking funny

Damn Grace is seducing Max this is hilarious

Fuck Grace Chastity or kill some nerds? One of the many difficult decisions in life

He decides to fuck Grace Chastity

OH MY GOD THATS SO SMART

Thats some fuckin Macbeth level shit

Kims teacher character is so cute awwwww

Paul and Bill dance Chaperones??????

Oh nvm that’s Jason

I don’t think I ever mentioned it but the dancing is really good

It’s very clean and crisp

In the last 2 hours I very quickly developed a massive crush on Will Branner

OH FUCK

WHATS GOING ON

WHAT

[im-not-a-l0ser]

So, I'm writing a sort of Max-Richie frienimies sort of fic focused in their junior year, and the intention is that npmd doesn't happen in the future of this, because they start going out.

But in a world where they dont, or they break up... and Max would tell Richie he's not a loser, then the idea of Richie saying "I'm not a loser," more as using Max's own words against him— since he's the one who dictates those things— that just makes me so sad.

Hell, even in the real show, that's kind of the case. After the prank, Max tells them they're not so bad.

[dumbistsmartass]

saying something about every hatchetfield production

spoilers, some nonsense, zero consistency with what I talk about, hurriedly written text, and back Cinderella’s Castle, QUICKLY, the kickstarter ends on May 4th. Also I mostly won’t be talking about the message to take away from all of them because I plan to make that another post.

TGWDLM: the catalyst of it all, it set up many fan favorite characters. Also my personal interpretation is that the musical we watch is actually happening in canon and is being put on by Pokky/Paul. Also how much of someone’s personality remain after infection?

Black Friday: it does pretty good as our first (true) intro to the LiBs it works very well. We get more General Macnmara who quickly becomes one of my favs. It also adds a lot of my other favs to the Hatchetverse, Hanna, Lex, Ethan, and Tom

NPMD: probably my favorite of the mainline musicals. I really hate Dirty Girl tho. The musical version of Hatchet Town is better than the OST version. The characters all have really good chemistry. I love Grace as a warning about the consequences of using religion as a fear tactic, when she sinned and wasn’t instantly punished for it she decided to take matters into her own hands and became a bloodthirsty maniac. The fact we got so close to a good ending if Max hadn’t fallen is darkly funny.

Hatchetfield Apeman: I don’t know how to feel about this one, it’s an interesting story but I think shouldn’t have been the first nightmare time story as it set a bad precedent for a lot of people.

Watcher World: I FUCKING LOVE WATCHER WORLD. The horror buildup of “what the fuck is happening here?” was genuinely amazing. The idea of a paranormal amusement part made for the amusement of an elder god id so cool. I feel uncomfortable saying the work “Sniglet”

Forever and always: one of my favs, the mystery of the two Emma’s is amazing, and the twist of which Emma Paul chose is amazing. It does make me wonder tho, is Emma a robot in every timeline? Also im just gonna assume that Tinky is connected to this one.

Time Bastered: another of my favs, the way it connects with FaA and the very clever time travel writing were highlights. The Ted is The Homeless Guy twist is really clever, and the ending is tragic

Jane’s a Car: holy shit my opinions on this one is so mixed. I love the bonding of Becky, Tom, and Tim is so wholesome. I REALLY hate that scene. Also is Jane turned into a car in every universe?

The Witch in the Web: our true into too Webby. Massive lore dumbs sort of weighted it down for me but it was still good.

Honey Queen: god I love this one. The fact that the LiBs aren’t mentioned until the very end was a really good choice. Both Zoey and Linda going to any length to win was some great tension.

Perky’s Buds: I went into this one expecting it to be kinda mid, and I was right but it was on the high end of mid. Ziggy being NB and played by a real NB actor is great! The bird hive mind is genuinely kinda unnerving despite how cute they are. I personally think they should have died, then content on the rooftop with the fire would have been such a good ending, but the police showing up to arrest them packs less of a punch.

Abstinence Camp: again, one of my favs, I fucking love this one and it also has the best Nightmare Timr song. It’s a fun way of exploring the “if you have sex in a horror movie you die” trope. Grace once again gets some sort of power and abuses it.

Daddy: I have mixed feelings, it’s a genuinely interesting plot but it get pretty uncomfortable. The song at the start made me think it would be a more empathetic take on Sherman Young but it definitely fucking wasn’t.

Killer Track: what is there to say? Killer track is actually so fucking amazing, if you will watch anything from this list watch this. I’m saying nothing else

Yellow Jacket: not at all what I was expecting, but it was great! From what I heard I was sort of expecting a high school drama with Pokky doing his bullshit in the background, but I loved this too. Also the ending hurt me.

Workin’ Boys: Pokky strikes again, but I’m not sure why TBH. Motherfucker just decided to fuck with his one most loyal subject and for what?

[atticcreationz]

Something I find really interesting about Nerdy Prudes Must Die (which I think heavily influences the fact that it's my favourite Hatchetfield show) is that its music and musical motifs are built so heavily upon all the shows that came before it, which is not something we see super often in mainstream theatre?? Stay with me here, I don't know if I'll be able to articulate where I'm going with this fully the way I want to but I'm gonna try.

Not only did NPMD have the catchiest and most heart-wrenching main motif out of all the Hatchfield shows imho (the "cool" motif - watch my heart break in two in real time while it plays behind Ruth's big note in Just For Once, ooof), but we all know it is jam packed with motifs from 4 other shows (TGWDLM, BF, NMT1, NMT2) in addition to the rest of the NPMD motifs. From the nightmare time motif to the cop motif, the inevitable motif, the coffee motif, Grace's scheme motif, Hatchet motif, etc, the list goes on!

For me not only is it fun as hell but it scratches an itch that the other Hatchetfield shows didn't 100% reach for me musically speaking. Not bad, just one box that wasn't ticked for me! It's almost the same itch as musicals like Hamilton, who pack in a huge amount of motifs and music/musical references without them overly complicated, and without distracting from the broad strokes with too much detail work. The motifs are easy for your ear to pick up on and follow without beating you over the head with them. Now, the likes of Hamilton (take the rest of what I say from here on out with a big ol spoonful of salt as someone who is observing as an enthusiast of musical theatre composing theory, not a pro) besides the obvious thoughtful hard work put into it are possibly more able to make space for these intricacies due to a sung-through format; and especially in Hamilton's case, being able to use both rap and music to create motifs. It feels like NPMD however is able to do this more like a movie franchise (thinking of things like Star Wars who have built up many different musical themes over the years).

On the one hand, big duh, that's how sequels/connected stories work. But on the other hand, even though we're used to seeing certain musical or lyrical ideas returning throughout a composers career, and although we're used to Starkid lore, jokes and call backs building up over time, I don't think I know many musicals that are sequels, and have built up a musical motif landscape over several years?? Besides Phantom/Love Never Dies, which I admit I don't know enough about. This feels like it might be another thing unique to (or if not unique to then certainly encouraged by) Starkid's format.

I've oversimplified a bunch of this for the sake of brevity (as if I've ever been concise in my life lol). But out of curiosity if anyone knows any other interesting musical theatre sequel examples outside of Starkid, let me know!

[showtoonzfan]

Anyways I want to talk about Nerdy Prudes Must Die real quick, Starkid’s recent Hatchetfeild musical. I love the show, it’s amazing in so many ways, I can’t say much about it that others haven’t already said so I won’t be really vocal about how good it is, at least yet. That’s why I really want to share just a few criticisms or nitpicks I have, cause I don’t see a lot of people talk about that and I’ve personally been itching to get these out lol. Keep in mind I love the musical to death and I just want to see if other fans have the same opinions I do or not, if you disagree that’s fine! Spoilers for the musical!

- My biggest complaint is that I feel like Stephanie doesn’t get enough screen time. Not that she’s not developed or fleshed out, but after rewatching NPMD a million times you’ll know that the two main characters that get the most screen time are Grace and Pete. (Especially Grace cause she steals the show, not in a bad way tho). However, Steph is supposed to be a main character but to me she kinda feels like a side character pushed to the back. I’d say this starts when the kids plan to prank Max, and moving forward she eventually goes from someone being at the front to a follower until the near end where they have to summon the lords in black. I will say of course it does make sense, for a cast like this you have to move main characters to the back to leave room to develop others, that’s fine, but I still can’t help but feel that Steph lacked more.

I think of all characters she should have gotten her own song too, I was disappointed to hear that she actually DID have one and even a reprise until it was cut. Jeff had said it was about her being a popular kid and how she struggles with that, and I think it would have been really interesting to see, it would have added more. Though of course cut songs are cut for a reason, Jeff had said it didn’t fit or add anything but it’s still something I wish we had.

- Some fans have already said this, but it is distracting how glossed over the deaths of the characters are, mainly Ruth and Richie. Max’s death makes sense here, because he was a jerk and the theme of how the town and the kids didn’t care for him when he died and glossed over his death was done on purpose, but for Ruth and Richie…the characters they were actually friends with didn’t seem to care. For starters after Richie dies no one notices he’s gone, and when the gang do find out he dies, nothing really comes of it other than a “wait Richies dead?” Then the characters just move on, Ruth dies and the same thing happens to her, only a “wait she’s dead?” line and that’s it. Pete was the closest to these two and we don’t even get to see him mourn, or a simple line indicating that. I don’t blame the characters themselves but if you asked me if I thought the writing for the musical was just a teensy weensy rushed, I’d say yeah.

- That also leads to my other problem, “If I loved you” feels misplaced. The song itself is good but it takes place legit right after Ruth dies, a character who got an amazing send off. There isn’t time to process it at all because now Pete and Steph are arguing over their relationship, and after that Grace bursts in to kick off them leaving. I feel like “If I loved you” should have been placed before “Just For Once”, that would have been slightly better.

- Okay so this is just a nitpick but I didn’t like “Best of You”. For a horror musical (especially for Hatchetfeild) it feels VERY forced and preppy and it just threw me off I’m so sorry. That’s why I was thankful “Dirty Dudes Must Die” was the true ending because that fits more with the universe and the tone of the show. I guess it makes sense though because Jeff had revealed “Best of You” was an in universe pop song that the students were just singing, so after I heard that it made perfect sense on why I thought it was so cheesy lol because it wasn’t supposed to be a song for the show itself.

Still like some others have said, the way everyone is so happy in the ending throws me off. I get that they establish a few weeks had passed but after ALL of the hell the characters went through only to cut to them carefree at prom it’s….off putting. Like Steph is literally an orphan now and Pete’s friends are dead. And it doesn’t get addressed or acknowledged AKSKKSSM 😭

And that’s pretty much it regarding issues I had with the musical. It’s damn near perfect, I just think the script is a little rushed and the pacing is kinda all over the place. Other than that? It’s amazing and I’ll definitely talk about it more soon. Feel free to disagree with me!

[notanerdyprude]

fun things i noticed rewatching npmd act 1:

sam sweetly was investigating richies death

richie messed with his fingers absentmindedly

everyone pronounces stephs last name correctly (law-ter) except the teacher (low-ter) because teachers cant pronounce peoples names correctly

pete is almost always curled into himself while steph is almost always sat more like. outward. i dont know how to describe it.

petes plaid on his suspenders and bowtie matches stephs flannel

stephanie wears a lot of jewellery

ruth and richie hold on to pete at the end of “literal monster”’s first chorus

the literal monster choreogrophy fucking SLAPS byw

richie is such a bitch “its LIPSCHITZ 🙄🙄” “i never intended to walk through your hallway”

richie keeps his hands under his armpits most of the time

graces little “mhm. mhm.” after she says “his name is jesus christ” >>>

max and grace nodding at eachother is never not going to be funny to me

kyle is max’s biggest hype-man. homosexual activity if you ask me.

ruth and the nerd in purple enter the stage hiding behind the bleachers during max’s verse

“next time youre going to cheat do it like a lauter and dont get caught” so solomon most likely got to his position illegally

“somebody WALKS to the office with STEPHANIE LAUTER 🙄” richie is a Bitch

ruth cares very deeply about library rules

she immediately stops caring about them as soon as stephanie lauter calls him

ruth rolls her eyes when richie starts his “aot > star wars shit”, so shes clearly heard this a shit ton before

petes jumper also matches stephanies foannel

pete is in the shadows for a good part of cooler than i think i am because he keeps walking through them

as soon as the bridge is done he goes from being in the light to beingbik the shadows again

peter can also be a bitch

max doesnt come from money

max started being a prick in 4th grade

jason seems to be an actually good dude.

max has a major god complex obviously but like. it is bad. it is BAD.

mark, despite being married to her, calls graces mom ‘mother’

graces mom also wears butterfly clips

richies side eye the second steph walks over im DECEASED.

richie looks so horrified by steph touching him

cooler than him tune plays when they walk into the boys bathroom

richie side-eyes people a lot

“steph-an-ie”

pete’s “grace 🙄” i love him hes so bitchy

hatchet town tune plays in the bg a lot

richie naruto runs into the waylon place

richie is VERY excited by the plan “WE’LL MAKE HIM SHIT HIS PANTS 😁”

petes a marvel nerd. he does both the hulk and spidermans gestures

richie is ruths wingman confirmed

richie fiddles with the little tassles on petes jacket

max is very good at puns

will is scarily good at sounding like blood is coming out of his mouth

pete has a very short temper

grace actively cheers for ruth after she cuts off max’s nips

stacy calls richie “mr. lipschitz”. for some reason.

THE HARMONIES IN GO GO NIGHTHAWKS ARE SO GOOD

richie calls jason jace :(( /pos

“theyre my bros for life” they said ONE nice thing to you get some standards i BEG

richies face immeidately dropping as soon as max says “richieee”

richies wearing 4 layers on top and a pair of shorts. transgender.

max’s blood is sparkly.

max shakes his hand after touching richie

max thinks people in the smoke club are cool

max locks the door on richie

he does the choreo from thriller by michael jackson

richies squeal after max makes him fall

max is heavy projecting onto richie

max seems genuinely pissed when richie says ‘im not a loser.’ he only chills when richie says ‘please don’t kill me’.

he taunts richie by calling him his actual name. he never called richie his real name, only shit-lips. false sense of security type shit.

[screechingkingdomhottub]

DEFENDING NPMD

Time to defend nerdy prudes must die to some of you for not appreciating the utter masterpiece it is as my current hyperfixation.

"These teens aren't realistic they're caricatures" - Sure that could easily be true, and say it is true then it's a high school piece based on cliques/stereotypes that people don't necessarily fit into in reality? That doesn't make it bad, heathers and mean girls are classics at this point. But also I was 3 of these people in secondary. I had an anime phase and I was friends with weebs, they act exactly like richie, like...I told so many people "Believe It!" with a thumbs up. I even played a naruto song to classmates and talked about how he was my idol as a 13 year old...I cringe about that to this day but it's a REAL PHASE. Then we have Ruth who is so horny and desperate for love...literally my teenage life are you kidding? Especially with the theatre reenactments thinking I could do things if I didn't get anxious like...poor girl. I'd like to think I was Peter at one point, I have low blood sugar and like pokemon cards and got decent grades and had a bit of a need to prove myself? But I was probably closer to Grace like ya boi has religious suppressions but I'm catholic so clearly not a person of faith in Grace's eyes haha.

"There's too many rhymes - class of twenty twenty worn"

I think this was intentional? Well not really but also like it makes sense, Jeff said the reason for the snapping being wrong in bully the bully is because they're nerds and that's uncool in jazz which kinda leads me to believe this theory. Also the original lyric was "There's no way to fix the class of 2026" but had to change cause year. One of the songs that doesn't rhyme obsessively is "The Summoning" which is sang primarily by the lords in black as opposed to the high school kids. Now, I don't want to offend anyone but high schoolers are idiots. Everyone is an idiot but high schoolers tend to be egotistical idiots. My theory is the rhyming is sort of a meta commentary of the ages of these characters, believing that things should be rhyming because that's what they've been taught. It keeps the norm of the school also, it shows it fits the standard representation of schools in media and then symbolises this through the representation of a standard song. Whereas the lords in black have some off lyrics, off rhymes, especially here: "Nibbly wants a sacrifice And Wiggly wants his wrath We dancе around the pentagram And take all our kingdoms back" It doesn't fit the other rhymes that happen earlier on sang by the high schoolers. This could represent the lords in black are interfering with the norm, they're older and wiser and follow their own rules. "But screech what about hatchet town" they don't have the same power as the lords in black, the chaos and paranoia is getting to them but there is still more off rhymes than in others. "What are off rhymes what are you doing" A rhyme is like fart and smart. An off-rhyme is like fart "monster" and "Gone sir" it doesn't entirely rhyme but it has that feeling. There's probably a lot more fascinating things that you can get into with this "BUUUT Heathers did it without them sounding so cheesy and unaware" my answer to that is, heathers is fILLED WITH EMOS. Have you spoken to an emo? They'll go like "Even the roaring waves of the sea cannot mimic the immense drowning I feel by my emotions" like dude chill. NPMD doesn't have emos in it really...Everyone is really happy considering the situation.

"Who says cool beans anymore?" - This is the funniest criticism to me like, do you think Grace Chasity is supposed to represent a modern day view? She's the one who says it first! "Shoot and shinola", "tickle on my mommy spot" all that is fine by you but cool beans is outdated??? "But why do the others join herrr" ok well the obvious reason there is they're INSIDE A HAUNTED HOUSE WITH SOMEONE WHO IS VERY SUS AND THEIR WORST BULLY IS COMING AND ALSO GRACE IS THE ONLY ONE WITH THE KEY LIKE I WOULD JUST GO WITH THAT. But if not, nerds quote outdated memes all the time. "Excellent" reminded me of naruto the abridged series, like that's from 2008 but im still there. Or like the phandom are still simping for glabellas and onomatopoeic microwaves. The starkid fandom would never reference an old musical, the medallion said that was dumb so we're not doing that...wait Most valid stuff I've seen is about steph's characterisation which I can do a whole post about like mariah is phenomenal as always but there's a lot of telling not showing.

Also I'm back into starkid