#obmswd shitpost

[l3viat8an]

*out on a date*

MC: You're staring again….

Mammon: *Already three shots in to ‘calm him nerves’* Listen!!! If ya didn't want me staring at you on dates, swooning and imagining our lives together, maybe, just maybe!! You shouldn't be so damn gorgeous!!

[plumkln]

WHO LET HIM COOK❗️❗️🦅🦅😭😭

[akurui-shizen7]

Diavolo, going over [MC]'s resume: Okay, so right here, it states that you’re creative.

[MC]: Yes

Diavolo: Okay... may I know what you create

[MC]: Problems.

[oceanlipgloss]

Barbatos: Giving me the eighth placement on your list symbolised how you thought I was not worthy of a higher rank, did it not?

Solomon: I actually just wrote the names in the order in which they came to mind.

Barbatos: Why, that's even worse, as it would mean that your subconscious itself had numbered me eighth, since you secretly believed—and still believe—that I deserve no better.

Solomon: Not really, no. I wasn't trying to be mean, though.

Barbatos: I see. If you weren't intentionally trying to be unpleasant, then your unbelievable cruelty towards me only refers to how you are a vile person by nature.

[ros-garden]

This is what happens when Mammon has to babysit Luke-

[apoorhuman]

Random demon: *trying to read satan's thought*

Satan: *realizing this and looked at the random demon dead in the eye and started to think while having a smirk in his face* I know you can read my thoughts boy, meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow

Random demon: *gave up*

[antiromanticbaby]

I love this fandom so much

And yet the game won't allow you to put a '<3' at the end... haha

[spicywasabae]

Soo lesson 22 of Nightbringer is out and i have thoughts 🤡. Okay but in all srs ness Mammon would definitely ask for a cut of that money after.

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I made this like before the lesson was out and who knew we'd have Levi and Mammon almost duking it out but im mostly surprised by Asmo actually wanting to beat Mammon's ass 💀.

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[sussysatann]

Diavolo: Welcome to the Devildom, MC :)

MC:

MC: Oh shit it's because I'm a lesbian isn't it?

The council, in unison: N O -

[bloodbathforbirdies]

first dinner

[l3viat8an]

MC: How do I politely tell someone I want to hit them in the face with a brick?

Satan: “One wishes to acquaint your facial features with a fundamental item used in the building of walls.” Simply put, like that.

MC:*dramatically whipping a tear from their cheek* Satan, that was beautiful.

[rob0bun]

the official layout for the house of lamentation is so hysterical to me i'm going to talk about it

the first floor isn't AS BAD as the second floor but i still have so many questions. why is there only one door leading from the entrance hall to the hallway? does everyone have to walk all the way around to get to the kitchen and the dining room?

why are there three staircases to the second floor? two are shown in game and the third is just there?

four unlabeled rooms and not a single bathroom on the first floor. rip to the mc who has to use the bathroom in the middle of the night and has to walk up all those stairs

and my favorite part: the map confirms that the living room is just a fireplace (when there is already a fireplace on the other side of the room), FIVE chairs and a table. the living room.

as someone who has tried for hours to figure out the layout of the second floor, this doesn't even remotely help

the hallway next to lucifer's room is just a dead end.

lucifer's room has another office? a bathroom? what is in there??

asmo's room is half the size of everyone elses and a quarter of the size of lucifer's despite looking massive in game

the nonsensical corner next to the stairs by the twins' room with a chair? or something there

mammon's room has canonically been on the second floor since the first game but i do not understand HOW he got the car in there. does he drive it? does it sit in his room and collect dust? why is there a garage door in his room? everything about his room is atrocious.

the worst part is levi's room, despite having an entire aquarium inside of it, is not only on the second floor but it is TINY. is the aquarium not real? does it defy the laws of space?? is there magic involved DEVS TELL ME

imo an easy fix would've been to move mammon and levi's (or any combination of rooms) to the first floor where the giant unlabeled rooms are, make asmo's room bigger, and give the twins separate rooms!! they deserve it!

obey me devs you are so incompetent <3

[akurui-shizen7]

Asmo: I like your top, MC!

Lucifer : I have a name, you know.

MC: *sighs* Why. Why are you like this.

[oceanlipgloss]

Barbatos's horns are supposed to be skeletal structures, but he wouldn't be too happy to know that they remind me of chicken feet.

[gwenene]

I want to ask Lucifer and Satan if they think water is wet and watch the argument spiral from there

[lvryuu]

IM GONNA SOB AND DSCREAM I WILL EXPLODE VIOLENETLY USUEHEUDHDHEJDHEHE

I waS JUST TALK8GN ABOUT HOW CUTE MAMMONS CARD LOOKED AND I WANTED TO PULL FOR IT L8E LOOK UCH A LITTLE GOOBER RUDHDHEJDHEGESNDJM

AND THEN.

EXPLODES AND SOBS VIOLENTLYJSSSJSJHDHDDHDHSDDJSHSHE MAMMON,,,SMS,SHEHDHYESJSHJSS SAV E MEMENENDEHDMEPLELEASJSJENDJDJD GO AWAYAYSHSHSHSMSJSMSMSNSHDEMDDJDK

DOJT DO THIS TO ME