#obviously it's going to come between them but im more focused on what it means for how ray thinks

[paalove]

ray calling sand a whore first by implication and then outright...

[bitchimasnake-sss]

sfw alphabet ft. roronoa zoro! (because im down bad for him)

enough horniness, now we shall weep and cry cause of how much we love this moss head 🤭🤭

yes ur honor this is the man im in love with :/

💗affection (how affectionate are they? how do they show affection?):

affection (in it's traditional sense) comes hard to zoro. he doesn't really know how to go about it to be very honest. to him affection is sarcasm and acts of services ("acts of service" include calling you mid in 5 languages (joke), making fun of your exercise form and the way you sometimes drool in your sleep, offering you sake etc.). but as time passes by and you both start getting more comfortable with each other, he gets on board with it. every time you both are spending time alone, he holds onto you one way or the other. don't expect him to call you sugarcakes or something because he won't but he will let you know before drifting off to sleep that you mean the world to him. i dont think hes a huge pda guy but if he's super drunk then he cannot possibly keep his hands off of you, its quite weird for the crew to see him so openly affectionate (cue sanji gagging).

💗best friend:

what would they be like as a best friend? how would the friendship start? he's lowkey the bestest of best friends. he has the energy of "idk what you're doing but ig do it anyways cause i know how to fight" an opinion on everything but he doesn't have the time or energy to say anything (between his sleeping and training). doesn't mean he's any less nonchalant, no, he's just super opinionated for some reason. so, when you're sitting next to him on the deck on those late nights, asking him absurd questions, best believe he will deliver peak (nonchalant) commentary. especially after the two years when he's back from living with perona!!! HE IS A CERTIFIED FASHION KING. "zoro," you nudge him and he hums in response, "i was thinking of getting nami that silver bracelet for her birthday, should i?" "i mean i wouldn't give that debt collecting witch anything but-" he winces lightly when you punch him in the arm, "-but. i think silver will look look washed out against his complexion. gold seems better" "you think?"

💗cuddles (do they like to cuddle? how would they cuddle?):

at the start, he thinks cuddles are lowkey dumb (and like he probably has gone years without them), so, he puts up this weird drama like "uh no i dont wanna do it" ofc he's lying. cause you're so soft and you smell so good and his hands are literally shaking trying not to hold you against him. after a while, he will unironically announce to you that he is the little spoon tonight and you need to suck it up. (lowkey gives the best cuddles because he literally envelopes you whole till you have to physically push him away) he wants to cuddle but you're DYING. YOU JUST KNOW YOU ARE. because this man is a heat radiating hot heating device heater. he is like a portable sauna. he needs to give you some space but he wont.

💗domestic (how are they at cooking and cleaning?):

cooking? cleaning? you should be grateful that he's showering everyday ever since you started dating him. he knows some basic cooking and cleaning skills (cause he did survive on his own for a good few years) but he doesn't know them in a socially acceptable manner. he just caught a fish, burnt it and ate it cause ✨proteins✨ okay? it's not like he does it on purpose, it's just that he's too focused on training and getting better and you have a chef so, he doesn't have to bother too much about it. but if you both were living together, then i think he will obviously learn them cause he doesn't want you to be the only responsible one cleaning after his messes. and he actually has kinda started liking cooking cause it's relaxing (he's also good at chopping up veggies and stuff so you both can cook together). the only part of cooking he hates is when sanji starts giving him tips cause like genuinely, sanji mind your own fucking business okay he'd learn pasta himself. tldr; the first time you teach him these things, he makes a mess and almost burns down your house but afterwards, you can rely on him to get the things done semi-nicely.

💗ending:

if they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it? i think if zoro had to breakup with someone it will probably be over focusing on his dreams of being the best swordsman or if you cheated on him or broke his trust. i don't think he will pursue a relationship with someone if he didn't see it lasting, so, he won't break-up for petty reasons (nor do i think he will ever cheat). i also think he's a practical man. he won't try to sugarcoat or make you false promises. he sure as fuck won't tell you that you both can "still be friends" or some shit (i mean unless you're in the same crew then it kinda goes without saying). he'll probably ask you to come have a chat with him. sit you down and tell you directly and exactly why he is doing it. and he absolutely won't let you have any residual doubts if you "weren't enough" for him or so. just because he has to make this decision doesn't mean he doesn't love or respect you. so, even tho he won't ask you to be friends, if you ever need someone to rely on, he will be there for you. bottom line, he will still be a friend to you (though prepare to ignore each other for a long time after the breakup cause obviously it hurts and you might punch him)

💗fiance(e):

how do they feel about commitment? seeing as his character is super ride or die, he definitely doesn't have a problem recognizing how much you mean to him. but he is pretty emotionally constipated, so, he will take an eternity to actually accept how much you mean to him in a non-friendly manner. how quick would they want to get married? settling down??? no. he's not settling down. not until he's the best swordsman atleast. marriage is lowkey scary to him cause he didn't grow up with healthily functioning relationships to look upto but once he started dating you, he could see it potentially being a "forever" sort of a thing. he's probably not gonna say that out loud tho, thats a topic reserved only for wayward day-dreams or super drunken nights. so, as for the marriage thing he'd want to take his time. he would probably choose to achieve his own goals (and support you to reach yours) and then, think about settling down.

💗gentle (how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?):

physically: zoro is acutely aware of his super-human strength but it still comes as a shocker to him to see how fragile, almost dainty you are in compare to him. simple things like comparing hand sizes or how large his t-shirt looks on you when you wear it to sleep genuinely leave him awestruck (and slightly lovesick). so, he makes it his number one priority to always be gentle to you, as if he's scared that you're on the cusp of breaking. and he treats you as such always. (unless you ask with tear-lidden eyes and trembling lips how badly you want him to demolish you because then, maybe he is ready to comply) emotionally: like almost everything else, gentle words come hard to him at the start. all he has known is tough love. so, understanding that making fun of you when you're having your weekly breakdown was the wrong choice took him a while. he's not like emotionally stunted but he still doesn't trust his choice of words to comfort you. rather, he lets the way he holds you against him and pets your head when you sob against his chest do the talking. but if you go out of your way to teach him what he should probably say when you're sad then he might have some luck with it. until then, enjoy the cuddles.

💗hugs:

do they like hugs? after starting to date you, this man realized he loves hugs. and he loves giving hugs. but he's incredibly selective and thus far the only two (2) candidates have been allowed to pass through his tedious selection process. that being you and chopper (both of you are in a binding contract so you cant tell anyone about it either). well, luffy too if you count how clingy he can get 👍🏼 how often do they do it? he does hug you atleast once a day even if it as subtle as holding you from the back, resting his head on your shoulder. what are their hugs like? his hugs are genuinely bear hugs. okay. like he will engulf you and you will stand back and allow it to happen. he doesn't really hold on too long tho, so usually you gotta pull him back towards yourself and hug him tighter when you want it to last longer. pulling him towards yourself usually ends with him smiling and pressing a chaste kiss on your temple as his hands snake around you yet again.

💗"I love you" (how fast do they say the L-word?):

i think he says it fairly sooner than you anticipate. like however long you think he will take, it takes significantly lesser time. this is because (as i said), he probably spent a long time in denial and then in pining, so, naturally by the time you got together, he was sure of his feelings for you. anyways, one of my first fics on this blog was of how zoro probably said "i love you" to you when he was drunk and forgot about it when he woke up the next day. i still stand by that. i think it was a genuine, drunken confession but when you shyly confronted him about it, he just replied, "yeah, i meant that. i love you." his words were nonchalant but you could notice the dusted pink of his cheeks when he admits it and then his unsure gaze as he looks over your face and then the ground. (truth is, he only acted nonchalant. internally he is ready to jump off the ship incase you didn't say it back. thank god you said it back.)

💗jealousy (how jealous do they get? what do they do when they’re jealous?):

omg this man is simultaneously the most secure and the most jealous whore in this world. does he know you're not gonna cheat on him and ignore practically any man throwing himself on you? yeah, he knows that. but does he also want to cut off all those guys' heads if they even look at you? kinda, yes. i think he gets really shy to admit he's jealous. like he'd blame his irritable temper on the weather or the fact that he got less sleep last night. but you did notice how he clenched his jaw when a random guy in the market had been ogling you. and so, you tease him relentlessly. "zoro," you laugh, poking him in the chest accusingly, "are you sure? i think there might be something else going on" "like what?" he huffs, "i just got less sleep last night." "babe are you like jealous?" "no-" "you totally are" "stop saying that" "jealoussss" as to how does he deal with it? he fucks you. quick 'n easy. (im so sorry if youre a minor and reading this, in that case he pillow fights you to death.)

💗kisses (what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss you? where do they like to be kissed?):

what are their kisses like: after a long day, he always unwinds with you. so, his kisses are usually slow. he relishes in the way your lips feels against his, the way your cheeks feel like under his palm and the way you smile at him when you pull away. there's no haste because he has you right there and you both know you're not going anywhere. but on those nights he's pent up, anger and frustration strewn across his veins, he chooses to kiss you till he forgets just what he was angry about. his kiss-bitten lips are hot against yours, his hand roughly kneading your waist as he pours his anger into your desperate kisses. where does he like to kiss you: in public, his favourite spots are definitely your cheek or your temple as they are relatively tame pda tactics but still gets the point across. he gets to show his affection towards you without making a huge show for it. he also loves kissing on your shoulder as he rests his head on your shoulder and holds onto you. he can feel your pulse under his dull, soft kisses and heard your breathy hums and moans.

💗ittle ones (how are they around children?):

well, i hate kids. so, im gonna be biased. okay i don't hate kids but i hate toddlers. fucking devil spawns. i truly believe they will sacrifice us all for the beginning of the dark ages. anyways, zoro's not great with kids in theory. but somehow, when he interacts with kids he does end up somehow being a good (annoyed) dad figure (remember when he fathered three kids? cause i do)

💗mornings (how are mornings spent with them?):

morning with this green-haired ass start with you pushing his heavy arm off of you. you mumble that you're hot, trying to turn away from him and into the cool sheet. but it's no use because he just traps you against him yet again. zoro definitely doesn't give morning person vibes so i believe you are up before he is. you run you fingers softly against his scalp, bringing down your drumming fingers to his bare shoulders. you press an innocent kiss to his forehead and smile when he leans into your faint touches. when he finally wakes up, he looks up at you through sleepy eyes. he greets you with a tired "morning" before closing his eyes and draping himself you again. "zoro" you whisper half-heartedly, "everyone else is up, come on, we should get up too" he mumbles into your skin, "they weren't the ones keeping a watch last night, were they? come on, 10 more mins." "zo-" "please" he looks up at you, flashing you a soft smile, "10 mins." "10 mins only, okay? then we get up" (well, 10? more like 2 mins. luffy started yelling about breakfast and tried to eat before the food was served. and so, sanji (naturally) kicked him to near-death, so, you both had to wake up)

💗night (how are nights spent with them?):

walking out of the shower, you dry yourself off before cladding yourself in your pajamas. your limbs feel tired, body devoid of any and all energy as you climb into your bed to relax. sometimes you read, other times you just stare at the ceilings and think about stuff (we've all been there). zoro usually slips into the room silently, closing the door behind him. he plops down next to you and you curl up against him. sometimes, you both exchange small talk, if something fun happened while the other person wasn't around or gossip you heard from nami and ussop. but most days, you both simply enjoy the silence in each other's company till you're ready to fall asleep. every once in a while, he slips into the shower with you. (keeping this kids friendly) he gently washes your scalp and you rest your bare back against his chest as you ease yourself into the warm water. you return the favor by giving him a back massage. after this youre both so tired that you immediately pass the fuck out.

💗open:

when would they start revealing things about themselves: i feel like he'd know a lot about you before you find out anything important about him. he wears his loyalty and his dreams on his arms, but you don't find out why his dreams are so important or why he is so fidgety around tashigi until you're a good few days into dating. other small things about him are revealed to you thru his actions as he never mentions them, so, be prepared to be a persistent observer. do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly: he always reveals himself in little ways, never revealing too much. not because he doesn't trust you but because he's never had to talk about anything like this out loud. but anytime he does end up telling you something, it ends up being a heart to heart conversation. also, since he does get very drunk very often canonically, i don't think he's the type to slip up and tell things only cause he's not in the right headspace. so i imagine he only tells you things sober and in solitude, further cementing his trust in you.

💗patience (how easily angered are they?):

in moments of actual anger, as a swordsman, zoro is pretty good while handling his emotions. he knows how to differentiate between irrational feelings and actual solutions needed to get to the bottom of something. so, even when he gets mad he wouldn't necessarily act on it unless and until it is truly something that makes him tick. and things that make him tick includes people talking/doing something wrong to you or anyone in the crew, in that case he's going god mode. that being said, he will get easily irritated if someone is just joking around in the crew (especially sanji). he's incredibly patient with you tho, so, don't even worry about it and just accept him dumb antics for what they are.

💗quizzes:

 how much would they remember about you? i see yall sleeping on my man and i hate it. yes, hes kind of an idiot and not the best with memory but if it's anything about you or your relationship?? best believe he knows everything like the back of his hand. but he only claims that kind of power when it comes to you cause he will not really bother to remember other stuff if its not important. do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything? even though he wouldn't outright keep saying he remembers, he will often mention it in passing. like if you bring up someone while recounting a story to him, he will probably remember the last time you mentioned that guy. that being said, his memory is still kinda ass. so, he sometimes mixes things up if they aren't that relevant to the plot. so forgive him okay? hes trying

💗remember:

 what is their favorite moment in your relationship? i def feel like zoro prefers the mundane moments with you over any extravagant things. living on sea is insane, it's one thing after the other so knowing he has you to himself even for a few hours and in those hours, he gets to do nothing but love you truly means a lot to him. he isn't a cook by any means but this one time, when the rest of the crew had gotten off at a new island to restock and had only left you and him to keep guard, you had suggested you wanted to bake a cake. "i don't know how to cook" he mumbled softly, trying to convince you otherwise, "i can only do some cutting, slashing yk" "you dont even have to do anything!! just sit there and look pretty, i can do the baking." he eventually caved in. but now the memory of you making batter while he sat on the counter, talking to you is etched onto his every nerve. there had been a little bit of flour on your eyebrow and he used his thumb to clean it away before pulling you towards him and kissing you hard. you looked up at him, "i love you" "i love you too"

💗security:

how protective are they? i feel like zoro isn't as territorially protective as one would assume. like i said in the best friend section, he is more a laid-back "i know how to kill and get rid of the body, do whatever you want" kind of a vibe. that doesn't mean that he isn't gonna be on the verge of pulling out his swords the second someone even utters a word against you (but usually his dirty looks get the job done before he even pulls out the swords) how would they protect you? slash slash, stab stab and cocky remarks at the opponent (sometimes pure, unfiltered rage) how would they like to be protected? he's the roronoa zoro, he doesn't need physical protection. that being said, he wouldn't admit it out loud but just because he doesn't need you to pull out a gun to save him doesn't mean it doesn't give him pesky, little butterflies in his stomach whenever you defend him with your words. even if its something as small as calling out someone else's jokes that were targeted at him (and were just straight up offensive). or getting into actual verbal altercations (it happened once when you were drunk)

💗try: 

how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks? not a lot, tbh. look hes tired, you're tired, just cuddle and sleep okay? that being said he does put decent amount of efforts to surprise you every once in a while. he doesn't put on an extravagant show, so, mostly his surprises are just kinda lowkey and sweet. so on your anniversary, maybe he'd finally get the stick out of his ass and accept nami's idea of booking you a table somewhere expensive. but the memorable part isn't that, the memorable part is him asking (almost) shyly if you just wanna walk around town after dinner while he holds your hand and you bitch about your crew (in a loving manner).

💗ugly:

what would be some bad habits of theirs? omg obviously the drinking!!! i know he has high tolerance and shit but bro your liver's practically CRYING RN. please introduce yourself to some healthier coping mechanisms other than drinking and going stabby-stab. i also do think he's egoistic (it lessens with time) but its still a pain in the start

💗vanity:

 how concerned are they with their looks? this man does not give two fucks about his looks, like legit couldn't care less. he does know he looks decent tho (i mean casting mackenyu was a choice, i see you oda sensei). but ever since dating you, he has been putting in little efforts. i think partially cause you bully him into having a skincare routine and showering daily and partially cause he just wants to be a pretty boyfriend to his favourite girl.

💗whole: 

would they feel incomplete without you? yes and no. this is conflicting cause on one hand, ofcourse your absence will be equivalent to having daggers through his heart. but also, he seems like the guy who hyper-focuses on themselves after a breakup. i don't think he'd feel "incomplete" without you if you both ever broke up cause however dumb he is, he knows sometimes things don't work out and that's that. besides, even if you have to go, he still have people (the crew) to love and care for. but he would feel that glaring absence and it'll take a way heavier toll than anyone anticipated (cue him blasting heavy metal in his room and face-timing perona drunk and (almost) crying. perona suggested she takes care of you which made him actually cry cause perona dont be fucking mean)

💗xtra (a random headcanon for them):

zoro is so good at doing eye makeup specifically. i mean like because of all the sword-training and all, he has really good hand-eye coordination and very precise movements. so, like if you asked him to do your liner and give him specific-ish directions for how you want him to do it, he will 100% ace it. he doesn't really do well in other departments but he can learn (if you can make him learn thru that attitude of his) also, i theorize that he's ticklish but in the randomest fucking places. one time you lovingly ran your hand through his hair, bringing it playfully down to his nape and he fuckING GIGGLED?? another time you offered him a leg-massage cause he seemed to have pulled a muscle and you were working on his calf, trying to help him out and he yelped cause it tickled???? hello what do we do with this info now?

💗yuck:

what are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner? he wouldn't like judgmental people or people who are very uptight (cause although his jokes could be hit/miss, he doesn't wanna hear a fucking lecture). also dont be disrespectful to him/his friends. and also, i think he would have a thing against people who are too nosy (pre-dating mostly), like if he wanted to tell you something he would other than those basic things, he's chill.

💗zzz:

he's asleep before you can say "good night" because he's a simple man who needs to sleep 10 hours a day (minimum) see he isn't going off ruining lives, he's not fucking things up for someone else, he's just taking a nap. its like the least horrible thing he can do, let him nap. i do think he should get checked for some vitamin deficiency tho caue uh, just in case. that being said, you go to sleep now. i would too. goodnight!

a/n: loved making this so much that i might make one for literally every character ever once i get the time lol

[thesherrinfordfacility]

I love Aziraphale but I DO kind of feel like he was objectively more wrong than Crowley was, bc Aziraphale's plot for most of S2 comes straight out of Terry Pratchett books: he shuts down Crowley and focuses on setting up this storybook romance for them, while ignoring everyone else's distress. Like we see from the start of the season that Crowley is depressed and clearly upset, and it gets worse as it progresses, but Aziraphale doesn't even clock that something is wrong, even when Crowley is outright telling him. Of course this is going to create and nurture a situation where Crowley doesn't communicate. Aziraphale's not listening to him anyway. One of Terry's books features a witch who uses her magic to force fairy tale plots onto the people around her. It's the pinnacle of toxic positivity.

hi anon!!!✨ oooooh i have a feeling that this is going to be a long one, my apologies in advance!!! also, please forgive my ignorance on pratchett's works, im not deliberately ignoring it, but definitely not familiar with it enough to draw on any narrative similarities unfortunately!!!

so on the point of aziraphale not recognising that crowley is depressed, i do think that there are some indicators that if aziraphale paid more attention, he would pick up on it. that being said, i do think that the depth of crowley's not-okayness is largely masked from aziraphale, and is mostly shown only to other characters and obviously to the audience; the scene on the park bench with shax, for example, or any scenes between crowley in/around the bentley. one example that aziraphale could have picked up on:

c: "what i need is for him to be nowhere near me, and the precious, peaceful, fragile existence ive carved out for myself here..."

a: "i thought we carved it out for ourselves?"

c: "so did i!"

so, obviously crowley started in on the fact that gabriel threatened aziraphale in ep6, and quite rightly uses this as a reason to leave well enough alone, get rid of gabriel, and go back to their life as it was before. and crowley's language and delivery is absolutely indicative of how desperate he is to keep the status quo, that he's hanging on practically by a thread. shax and hell are keeping tabs on him, he's living in his car (which i'll come onto later), and he doesn't have much of a Purpose anymore than just existing.

aziraphale should be reading into this, 110%. but, crowley ends up underplaying his own struggle by talking about 'i' and 'me'. that doesn't mean its less true or valid, but to aziraphale's mind, he appears to be thinking only about how gabriel's presence would affect him. it immediately undermines how crowley first went in to trying to convince aziraphale to turn out gabriel, because it reads like crowley is revealing his true issue with the situation. we know that it's because, to crowley, aziraphale is ignoring him and his warning (which he absolutely is).

but crowley hasn't told aziraphale the full story of what happened; what gabriel said. aziraphale doesn't have the context to understand the full scope of crowley's fear and anger. i don't think knowing it would have necessarily changed the ultimate outcome/decision - i do think aziraphale is still kind and forgiving ("it's one of my favourite things!") to a fault - but it might have stopped aziraphale completely closing off and shutting down the continuance of what could have been a communicative and honest discussion. that, despite all of it, crowley is stepping away from aziraphale and planting himself on His (crowley's) Side, not Their Side.

aziraphale attempts to pull the conversation back; he tells crowley he would love for him to help, and that aziraphale is actively asking for help (which, verbally and with full intent, i don't recall aziraphale having done anywhere before this point in canon; he's intimated it, made very strong suggestions that he wants crowley to help/do something for him). this is a big show of vulnerability on aziraphale's part ("i need you!"), to literally put those words into the space between them... and crowley is silent. crowley is absolutely justified in not helping gabriel, but i think aziraphale's reaction is just as understandable.

but then moving on through to ep2, i think the next bit where aziraphale probably should have seen that crowley is Not Okay is the bentley/bookshop discussion, and crowley's reluctance to share it. from crowley's point of view, this car is literally the only tie he has left (will still get to the Sleeping In His Car debacle later) to anything permanent. this car that is literally an extension of him, comforts and shelters him, his complete Ride or Die - even to the end of the world. it is completely understandable that crowley would be jealous of it, want to keep a portion of his world for himself.

from aziraphale's point of view, as suggestive as it can be interpreted, he's opened his doors literally to crowley since at least 1941 - even earlier, if we count the 1800 scene that was cut (where, if gabriel and sandalphon hadn't turned up, i have no doubts that crowley would have been welcomed in straight away). it's definitely believable that crowley, between at least 1800 - 1827, might have been welcome in the shop... possibly even between 1827 - 1862 depending whether or not crowley spent "quite some time" in the pits of hell after edinburgh.

and this is likely to have been an exponential occurrence between 2008 - 2023, possibly even between 1967 - 2008 (depending on whether they had or had not been in continued contact follow the holy water incident). either way, again from aziraphale's perspective, the tie he has to earth and his life on it has been steadily then repeatedly shared with crowley. that's where he feels safe, and is himself, and is an extension of him. it's where they both feel like that in 2023. aziraphale has, presumably, shared that without quibble, has even been - judging by the s2 scene - something he has actively encouraged. it's definitely presumptuous, and possibly even entitled, but i think aziraphale has seen this as crowley being willing to share his life with aziraphale; why wouldn't he share the bentley? he's driven aziraphale everywhere he's wanted to go in it - doesn't crowley trust him enough to let aziraphale drive himself, for once?

ep3 sees a continuation of the above; that aziraphale changes the car, and does so without permission. whilst cute and adorable, and with the best of intentions, there is a major degree of this that is absolutely a violation on crowley, even if he logically would know that it's reversible. potentially, this is even foreshadowing of how he feels in the Final Fifteen with the angel restoration offer (im sure someone else has drawn this parallel somewhere...?).

but i do think it is absolutely a declaration from aziraphale of how wonderful he sees crowley just as he is now (his mf eyes), and how actually he doesn't want to change crowley to something better, but instead to paint the whole world in crowley's image. and its all the more powerful because a) crowley isn't there to see it, and b) he doesn't know that crowley can so viscerally detect changes made to the car.

the fact that crowley doesn't make this connection is surely a reflection of how he sees himself (see: he doesn't), and aziraphale should pick up on that... but if to aziraphale's mind crowley already knows how aziraphale feels about him through other gestures, in aziraphale's mind maybe crowley's just being coy or a bit possessive of his beloved bentley - that's fair, it's practically married behaviour! aziraphale wouldn't necessarily think to infer crowley's objections as anything different.

then we move on to ep4 (and finally talking about crowley living like a nomad), with the last scene of aziraphale helping him take out the plants to the bentley. you know - im still not 100% sure what to make of the whole situation of aziraphale not knowing that crowley is living out of his car. my main two schools of thought are that:

crowley has been spending enough time in the shop that him going out at random intervals is just normal to aziraphale - he's off doing Demon Things! he's just out on a jolly, having some time to himself! but it's okay, he always comes back! that would be possible, but we don't have any narrative to actively support this, and is practically a hc at this point. but there must be something that keeps aziraphale from digging any deeper - he is by all accounts a smart guy, and clocking that crowley has his plants in his car must get him thinking even if only for a moment... (unless he literally just chalks it up to Crowley Being Crowley, which is also feasible lbr)

the alternative thought (and not saying this is right - as i said, i literally do not have a scooby as to why aziraphale doesn't seem, on some level, to realise it) is that aziraphale does realise it, but doesn't want to face the implications of why crowley might have kept it from him, and so he buries it. i parsed this thought out more in a LWA response, full post here, but snippet screenshotted below:

i'll probably leave that bit there, but absolutely; aziraphale should be realising that something is wrong... but equally - as the king of cognitive dissonance, frankly - i don't think he wants to look deeper into something that, to him, would suggest any reason for there to be distrust between them, or a lack of openness. of course, we can see as the audience that this is a very small drop in the ocean where that's concerned, but to aziraphale - there's surely no possibility that crowley would keep something from him, not something this important.

when it comes to the Loving Gaze in ep6 (i'll come back to ep5 in a sec) that he gives when crowley admits that he's been living in his car, again - not entirely sure what to make of it. obviously it is just pure 'i utterly love/adore him', 'yes, it's you i want to be with, yes', but also maybe a measure of 'oh, you silly demon, why didn't you tell me? not that it's a problem now though, because in time we'll be together properly and you'll never have to be without a home again because your home can be with me'. he does gloss over the fact that crowley didn't tell him, and was obviously not in an okay place - but possibly in a, 'we'll talk about it later sometime, but for now - im just happy about what future we could start having from here on out. everything else is immaterial'. it's dismissive, but i also think potentially an indication that aziraphale does see, but they'll have the rest of their existence now to talk about it and heal.

anyway, back to ep5. the ball. oh lord - i honestly don't know if i have the mental acuity to even go into depth on the ball, rn. it's a Problem, and 100% on aziraphale's part. he's overcome with love, god bless him, isn't he? just so hellbent on showing crowley - it's not even about the girls, anymore, not if aziraphale really admitted it to himself - that he loves him. i think the magic spell that aziraphale creates bewitches even him, slightly - maybe not so literally, but this is a moment that has at least been decades in the making. and crowley is running around telling him there's an issue? well, they're safe in the shop (which, in a way, is absolutely true)! don't spoil this, please just hear me, hear what im trying to tell you unequivocally!

i think in aziraphale's mind, crowley tends to have a habit of overreacting (gabriel as a case in point), which is not true - but understandable when you potentially consider that aziraphale never really has all the facts. he's definitely overprotective, a point that is shown in s1 (imo, aziraphale never actively encourages the damsel-in-distress thing, but crowley just happens to show up at the slightest hint of trouble, and instead aziraphale takes this to mean that saving him, when he doesn't need saving, truly does make crowley happy). this is something crowley through his actions has encouraged - i think to assume that crowley is overreacting in this context is understandable, but yet; no, aziraphale should be listening to him. he should. and it once again feeds into the thought process that aziraphale cannot save himself - on and on it goes.

i don't think there is much to discuss in ep6 (im not going to get into the Final Fifteen - it's been analysed so much better by other people and by me too), this answer is already long enough, and i think for the most part it's fairly obvious. i do however have a dedicated FF tag in my masterpost if you do wish to peruse the various ponderings on the subject.

the only thing i guess that's really left for me to parse out is s1; aziraphale does lie to crowley. a lot. most egregious is lying about finding the antichrist but, i will say, in his defence - crowley has repeatedly asserted that they should straight-up murder a child. aziraphale drew his boundary, and crowley kept pushing, even going so far as to try tempting (and then practically demanding) that aziraphale be the one to do it. i don't think it's unjustified in that respect that aziraphale would keep that knowledge, therefore, from him - and instead turn to heaven. obviously that doesn't work out, in that respect crowley is proven right, and aziraphale immediately takes action to remedy it (calls crowley after the 9-1-metatron call).

but, it's an interesting mirror to what goes on in s2 in the theme of mutual trust and openness between them. crowley doesn't trust aziraphale not to dismiss him and run back to heaven when the going gets tough, nor does he trust him to have any sense of self-preservation (despite, yk, being a literal miracle worker and being the one to actual save their bacon in the 40s s2 minisode). but aziraphale similarly doesn't trust crowley not to try making him do something he has expressly said he will not do, and would betray a core tenet of who he is - temptation, which they both know works on aziraphale, and crowley could arguably exploit as he sees fit if aziraphale were to let him be completely vulnerable to crowley. in this respect, the foundations of their relationship, such as it is, is quite demonstrably built on sand of the quick variety.

so in essence, anon (honestly - gold star for you if you've made it to here), i don't disagree with you at all. but i think it's slightly reductive to not see that they are just as bad as each other. each have their trauma and unreconciled issues that directly inform on the action or inaction they take, and both are completely justified in that. i think it's more than possible to be empathetic to both of their perspectives, because ultimately, imo, their relationship as it was where we left it at the end of s2 was practically doomed right from where we first - in 2008 - properly join their story. im all for a huge, screaming row, and the promise of quieter, more delicate conversations thereafter, in s3; boy, do they need it!✨

[wereoz]

@cnka i wanted to reply to ur question abt my thoughts on the tsn doc on my actual post but the tags were so insanely long i was like. i need to make an actual post

SO IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER:

first off, wow im just so astounded by the fervent love that went into making tsn. it was a risk and so unlike other projects fincher and anyone else there had done but w/ their commitment to it it turned out SO amazingly. the fact they sat around a table and argued for hours abt how the lines fit and everyone could make their case is just. WOW!!!! they really made sure everyone understood and loved playing their characters.

erica's and christies actresses werent very common appearances like mark but they really went all in too im in AWE!! NOT TO MENTION MARYLINS WOW!! rooney mara really just. god she went so hard into making sure all of ericas kindness and leniency and frustration were so clear, she was so focused in the behind the scenes footage and obviously having so much fun <33 i love that brenda song was able to relate to christie's jealousy and fear eduardo was cheating. the fact all the actors ARE the characters ages and are as chaotic and fierce and dedicated and ambitious makes it soooo<3333 rashida jones describing marilyn as a greek chorus just watching hit SO hard. the second hand experience of this young man going through this epic tale by just hearing it thru testimony is a crazy thing. the act of listening is so simple but becomes so emotional even as everyone wants to keep it professional

on the twins: i find it so wonderful that the actors armie and josh played both twins. it just WORKS bc twins take the 'know u better than u do' that siblings have and take it to absolutely insane levels. the fact these actors have literally got access to both the twins minds takes the performance to a whole new level like those twins know each other inside and out!!!! its a meta thing that goes truly crazy.

you have already seen me say the bts of the erica and mark breakup truly kills me bc. he is being an asshole and not listening and the fact he doesn’t mean to doesn’t change that he is. she has to leave, but it’s so sad that she does bc… fincher calling him 'damaged goods' implies a universe where whatever makes him like this isnt present. where maybe he’s fine. so. GOD :’(( (i think it’s autism + the bad life experiences that come from that & being queer + the bad life experiences that come from that, heightened by the era)

on a more positive note i love that on set picking out the accessories andrew says ‘i’ when hes speaking as eduardo. he’s really dedicated to the role its great. also that he and jesse had conversations in character like these 20 year olds r crazy truly. love them for that !!

during the whole thing, everyone is so suspicious, and condemning to mark: like, noting that he is driven by ego, jesse jokes mark is okay with the cold because he doesn’t feel anything, and also, there’s a part when sorkin, fincher, andrew, and jesse are sitting around and talking about the scene where mark & eduardo argue abt ads. essentially, they make the argument that mark always says ‘i’ when eduardo says ‘we’ because in his mind, eduardo hasn’t contributed much at all. while mark is up coding for hours straight, eduardo is at some phoenix thing so? what gives?

so i was reframing my understanding of mark (which. is very indulgent cus i love him), and trying to get as close to his brain as i could and i was coming up with him generally being pretty… hard on the outside for lack of a better word. he’s not traditionally intimidating (like the script states) but its hard to crack him and you can really see this with jesse’s physicality like he’s so stiff. that’s pretty innocuous but i think this is something he uses to put distance between him and his loved ones- very frustrating. and i think every time i realise how much mark is an asshole i remember so many reasons why they added *trying to be.

when fincher called him damaged goods it’s like. the most in the doc people give him the benefit of the doubt (also sorkin saying he wanted to balance out all of mark’s character). which is pretty good because marks good traits are supposed to be very subtle and hit you when you don’t expect it. that’s very much how i felt when i suddenly remembered ‘sorry. that was mean.’ he truly is just trying to be an asshole. he wants to be nicer than he is but he also wants more power than he does and as someone who felt pretty powerless the rest of his life, that trumps the rest. he really thinks he can have both experiences, power and love, and he just hates that every time he takes a step in one direction it cancels out the other. this actually really fits in well w/ my next point

i also want to say that the fact mark videoing everyone was explained as him wanting to force proof that everything is fine, and they’re happy is making me so :(( MARK!!!! :(( he is so. i mean its two things: its the ‘i won, but did i?’ of it all. mark won the argument but its a hollow victory, being some sillicon valley titan isn’t emotionally fulfilling, it will never be enough. especially not when its costing him a good friend. the way the end is laced throughout the entire movie is so sick to me

re marks bullshit i also love how they mentioned that marks jealousy about the final clubs is more than just wanting to be in eduardo’s position its like - i thought we had some loser solidarity and now its like you’re a whole different person. its less of a horrible feeling when ur at the bottom with someone and mark feels betrayed. ofc mark doesn’t feel safe to express this emotion (bc bullied nerd boy whos probs bi in the 2000s), or doesn’t know that’s what he’s feeling, and decides it’s eduardo’s fault and freezes him out for it.

this is just off the top of my head i certainly have more and will probably talk more abt this lovely doc again :^))

[livelaughghoul]

Disclaimer: This is for entertainment purposes only, nothing observed or taken away from this should be considered fact. As a reminder, I know fuck all about Formula 1, I just like fast cars and have a dumb amount of knowledge of astrology and tarot. 

This one is going to be different from all the other reading I’ve posted, because im doing this solely from my phone, so like bear with me y’all. Sorry I don’t have any pretty pictures to add in. I’m getting wine drunk with my best friend.

After watching qualifying today, I wanted to pull cards for the top three, just to see what the cards had to say about them specifically, and see what they may have to say about the race tomorrow. Obviously this is all in fun, I have no way of knowing how reliable any of this is. Contrary to popular belief, I am not psychic, and the cards can only tell me so much.

Obviously there is so much that goes into a race, and making sure the drivers are in the best position possible to win. A single card is a microscopic view in terms of the team, strategy, and other drivers on the grid. Maybe this will become a thing, maybe not. If there is any interest in these, or we get any fun feelings after the race tomorrow, who knows!

Charles Leclerc - Wheel of Fortune

Obviously I love this. This is one of the most beneficial cards to draw nearly any situation. I take this as more of the destiny interpretation of the card, and the turning point. The wheel keeps turning, and sometimes it favors a specific person, and I think we’re seeing it favor Charles at the moment. If nothing goes wrong with the pit strategy and he can avoid contact (I have a feeling we’ll see contact tomorrow…) then I have a feeling this is going to be in the bag for him. It’s my understanding that Ferrari has some questionable strategy though.

Oscar Piastri - Seven of Swords

The way that this is hilarious to me is so toxic of me, and I refuse to apologize. They said “hey be second driver” and the universe said fuck that baby girl. It’s one of those more isolated, almost lone-wolf cards, so I’m thinking that Lando is likely going to remain relatively low in the track positions, whereas Oscar is going to remain towards the front, likely on podium. It’s interesting to me too, because this card can sometimes mean there is a hidden agenda, so seeing the dynamic between the team is going to be super interesting.

Carlos Sainz - Six of Pentacles

This one throws me off, because it’s about knowledge and resources. Does someone have the resources they need, or are they potentially lacking them? Are we going in as knowledgeable as possible or are we overlooking something super minor? Focusing more on the bigger picture and neglecting what’s in focus now. I’m a little concerned that the strategy is going to be all over the place when it comes to Carlos tomorrow, because there is a lack of something there.

[8k26]

☠︎ ┈•.*⛧ please don’t spam me to get my attention, my activity with replies fluctuates but i’m pretty active with occ. getting spammed just turns me off. either way i can get busy or simply take breaks. i’m usually good at giving updates, i appreciate if you could do the same, but life gets in the way. i’m mentally ill and tired lmao

☠︎ ┈•.*⛧ im half black half salvadorian. 95% of my oc’s are poc and i use their culture in their backstories and personality. i try to be as accurate as possible to ones i’m not familiar with–feel free to correct if i get something wrong, i love learning about cultures!! most of them are in gang/crime related stories, some are demons, i don’t mind putting them in au’s where they’re something completely different, however their personality will stay the same. of obviously if you’re racist or don’t like playing against poc and poc characters then leave. same goes with homophobia, as they’re all bisexual as well

☠︎ ┈•.*⛧ i only rp on discord, i like playing in servers since they’re the most organized. i only use tumblr to find partners and plot. i don’t do one liners. my bare minimum requirement is 2-3 paragraphs with some good substance. quality over quantity. i don’t mind time skipping to get right to the good parts, it’s a drag pushing through the slow parts of the plot

☠︎ ┈•.*⛧ smut is required for me. i’m a pwp girlie and idc💕 same thing with angst and drama. (doesn’t mean i’m not willing to have some more plot focused rps if you’re not looking for smut heavy ones) i’ll pick a toxic relationship over a happy carefree one every time. give me the most deprived shit–or a relationship with some turmoil that’ll take some time to fix. i even do dead dove themes; all except underage and animal abuse. i still have limits when it comes to kinks: no feet, bathroom stuff, any type of baby play, pregnancy/mpreg, omegaverse, forced fem, spitting, vomit. i go off the kinks my characters have anyways. ofc i still do expect a good story going on with in depth characters, world building, and side characters. i still appreciate moments of fluff. i love yapping about our characters and sending memes and music. trust me i can get very hyperfixated on a ship and will not shut up about ideas i’ve thought about or little moments between them

☠︎ ┈•.*⛧ most of my muses are male, no i will not be your sole male provider to your female muses. i don’t mind playing as your wanted fc’s but don’t demand it, and dont get mad if i don’t wanna play as any of them. i wouldn’t do that to you. i’m not too picky against other’s characters so long as they’re not in my banned fc list, or they don’t act like clueless bratty subs. for majorities sake i’ll be using irl fc’s but don’t be afraid to come at me with art, if your own or by some other source. i’m an artist myself though i rarely even finish sketches now. keep in mind i like to play as and against hypermasc muses, while i’m more flexible with females. sorry if i sounds really picky, i just know what i like and tryna find ppl who are the same lol

☠︎ ┈•.*⛧ lastly, i may sound serious, i promise i’m not. once you get to know me you’ll see all i do is make jokes and nothing i say is really serious. i love brain dead memes and i’m really stupid. i try not to make things seem like a business transaction. if you don’t wanna be super close with occ then that’s fine too! the main goal is to just have fun with the rp.

[unluckyhoneybee]

Hii!! How are you? Im in love with all of your works about f1, recently you have been writing a lot about hockey and I’ve been missing the content but thats ok🥺. I wanted to ask you if you could write something like friends to lovers super fluffy with Charles because I dreamt about him the other day, like focusing on the first kiss between them and fluff afterwards, that would really make me happy, just do it in whatever background you want, I trust you❤️.

You opened your eyes slowly when something fell next to you. A train of French swear words and a couple of Italian ones followed the noise.

"Charles"

He looked at you.

"I'm sorry."

You chuckled and brushed your eyes. "What are you doing?"

He had a tray on his hands.

"Um... Well. I know you had a bad day yesterday, so you are taking it easy today"

Your heart fluttered in your chest. Could he be more perfect?

In a desperate state, you had gone directly to your best friend's when you left work late in the afternoon. You couldn't even think about spending the night alone after such a long and exhausting day. Your sweet friend was obviously the first option.

You didn't thought of the things that had been going on recently. There had been a switch in your friendship and you didn't even realized when. It had just happen. Out of sudden, touches started to linger more, there were no more hidden glances full of love, words were sweeter and more gentle... Obviously, when you appeared and he held you, you knew that there was something going on.

"Thank you" You muttered when he left the tray on the table. He had gotten you your favourite breakfast. "Where did you order?"

"I did n-"

You giggled and pushed him. "I don't belive you, Perceval."

He rolled his eyes.

"The café down the street"

You bit your lip. "My favourite"

"The same one"

Again, you got that fuzzy feeling in your chest. Charles was looking at you with adoration in his eyes.

"YN"

"Yes"

"Do you want to talk about yesterday? I'm worried"

You bit your lip. "Work is been shitty. It's exhausting." You sighed.

Charles looked down at his hands.

"They shouldn't treat you like that" He muttered. "You shouldn't come back home crying"

Come back home, when you had gone to his instead of yours. But you tried to not think much about it so you could avoid those feelings in your chest.

"I know... I haven't found anything better yet."

"You could drop it. I will support you while you look"

You shook your head. "I can't do that"

"Please, YN. It kills me seeing you like this" He sat a bit closer.

You skipped a breath at the sudden move.

"Charles I... I can't make you do this"

He took your hand and kisses your knuckles. "I would do anything for you. I just want you to be happy"

Long seconds passed as you processed his words. He was so gentle with you, slowly caressing your knuckles and waiting for an answer. He had the most perfect eyes ever.

Somehow, the only thing you could do was lean forward. At first it was a teasing move, you expected him to move away. But he didn't. His eyes only fell in your lips and he prayed for you to do it.

You were about to kiss him. Your best friend Charles was millimeters away from you and you couldn't believe it was true.

When you kissed, it felt like the pieces finally connected. Charles embarrassingly hummed when your tongue finally met his. He was in this haze and he felt so lost in your lips. He had waited for so long.

The kiss was slow and long, no hurry between you two. You had waited for too long to not enjoy it.

"What does this mean?" He whispered still close to your mouth.

You smiled and caressed his cheeks. "That I love you"

He grinned and kisses you again, this time more bruising and needy. He wrapped his arms around yo and made you roll around in the bed. You pulled back laughing and looked at him.

"I love your smile, YN" He said cupping your face. "Let me make you happy"

"You already make me happy Charles."

[dani-ya-dig]

THE ABIGAIL VIDEO!!! I HAVEN’T TALKED ABT MY WIFE!

Ok so like chronological order bc I have listened to the audio like a million times at this point lmao. And I WILL talk abt it bc everyone needs to be obsessed with this channel like I am it’s SO GOOD GUYS PLS I SWEAR!!! Kk

Glenwood’s magic is doing its thing, and I’m really glad that plot point keeps getting brought up. Like ofc right now most of us are definitely more focused on the romance between Abby, Wielder, and Rose (which same. Love my ladies) but also like HELLO??? Abigail, a nonwielder, was the first person to really think there was something behind how strange glenwood was! And she is actively trying to investigate it (with Wielder and maybe Rose), and now she has even more resources for that!!! Like I just love that Miss Castle is making sure we don’t forget abt this bc I think abt it all the time.

Abby knowing her mom was gonna get on her ass about buying shelves from Amazon rather than thrifting some >

Abigail apologizing every time she swears in the voicemail >>>>>

Also I wonder how far away Abby lives from her family now? She obviously misses them a whole lot regardless of how far away they are, but it makes me wonder if they are just like the next state over, or if this is an across the country situation. (Aka, Dani is desperately trying to figure out where Glenwood would be geographically so I can get more info). I think Rose mentioned something about her flying??? Unless I made that up. But if I didn’t that would mean her family is likely too far for Abby to be able to warrant driving there.

Abby telling her mom about her channel even if she doesn’t fully understand makes me wanna cry. ITS SO CUTE GUYS I SWEAR!!! imagining Abby sending pics of her streaming setup to her mom is fucking adorable and if you don’t see it idk what to tell you.

Also the audible cringe in Abby’s voice as she prepares herself for the knowledge that she would have to deal with everyone asking why she didn’t being a date to the wedding. So Harper coded lmao.

Maybe not a plus one… but a plus two???

“And they’re…. hah mom they’re really cool” IM GONNA FUCKING SCREAM!!! THE WAY HER VOICE WENT ALL SOFT IM COSBSOXSBHDKDKCJC GOD IM SO GAY HOLY SHIT

“Please don’t play this for Sammy, when he comes back home, please Ma…” makes me giggle so hard because yeah, that sums up what having older siblings is like exactly, if you slip up once they will NEVER let it go

It makes me so fucking happy to hear Abby going all soft talking about how she had made a home in Glenwood, and how she feels safe with Wielder and Rose. Especially after she has dealt with not feeling like she fits in and, no doubt, bullying for most stages of her life. I’m just really happy to see the silly little gay people talking in my headphones get to be happy.

I NEED WIELDER AND ROSE TO MEET ABBY’S FAMILY ASAP! I know that they would both just be so overwhelmed with love from Abby’s (most likely) massive family. Rose especially would be so flustered from all the attention and love, having not come from a home that gave that love freely and unconditionally. It would probably be so refreshing for her. I KNOW Abby’s mom is gonna be feeding all of them well, too!

OMG IMAGINE!! Abby’s mom doing the usual embarrassing family stuff like pulling out baby pictures, and telling embarrassing stories, and Abigail obviously red in the face but still taking it on the chin until her mom pulls out the voicemail that Abigail had sent her when she first moved to Glenwood and all of them lose their shit in very different ways. Abigail is embarrassed beyond belief, Rose is also flustered from the “going at it” bit, and Wielder can’t stop laughing hysterically.

UGH ITS A NEED! YOU DONT UNDERSTAND!!!

[jackienautism]

Omg thanks for making a post about that disgusting mlm ship (du'lie 🤮) it's so gross I don't get why they don't ship a normal ship like Markate.

Like why do they always have to make try to ship two obviously straight characters together, Charlie and Du'Met aren't gay they are just straight and everyone is acting like they are gay or something. I hate it, mlm ships are so weird they should just ship something canon instead of trying to make everything gay like

Anyways thank you for your post, if they want lgbq+ content they should just ship Jerin or go find something canon I don't get the appeal of liking a mlm ship anyways like 🙄 just ship markate or jerin why would you want a ship with two men if you want one so bad go play the quarry or something lol 🤭

yeah of course! ive already seen my fair share of stuff for that pairing and its fans being annoying so it was bound to happen at some point. i understand what you mean by a "normal" ship, assuming youre referring to the fact that charlie/dumet is a pairing between a serial killer and its victim, but i took it as a .... straight vs gay type thing, w/ the straight being "normal." i hope that isn't what you meant. also the emphasis on the "mlm" part of the pairing just..... doesnt sit right w/ me

i mean... from a lesbian perspective, we've had to LIVE off of pairing up two "obviously straight" characters together in order to get our representation. it's a totally normal phenomenon, especially when the number of canon wlw pairings is very small. so i dont blame anyone, esp men loving men, for searching for 2 "straight" characters to pair together. what IM criticizing is the fact how fandom focuses on mlm pairings, even when theyre toxic or lackluster, before even thinking of considering shipping something between 2 girls, let alone woc. i know im probably repeating myself at this point, but i want to make it clear that i dont have a problem w/ the mlm pairings themselves, its often the people behind those pairings that i have a problem with. ESP if they're like...straight women. so, apologies if it ever made it seem like i was bigoted towards those pairings. because, anon, based on what youre saying to me right now, that seems to be the case. calling all mlm ships "weird" just....isn't right. sticking w/ shipping canon stuff would slash what we engage with in half. i dont know abt you, but ive spent my entire LIFE engaging w/ 2 "obviously straight" girls and imagining what they'd be like in a relationship. you saying to stick w/ canon instead of "making everything gay" also applies to sapphics. we're both the same, we both had to make everything gay and read through a gay subtext to survive

you can do you, you dont have to see the appeal of shipping a mlm pairing, but you can atleast show them the same respect as you would with others. "why would you want a ship with two men" ............................do you not see how wrong and bad this sounds? like. this feels like a very homophobic almost radfem view. but im not going to assume.just know this is what it sounds like to me.

i will give you this though, the quarry DOES have a loads better potential mlm pairing than the devil in me. why they don't engage w/ TQ instead? it all depends. it all probably comes down to them enjoying TDIM more than TQ

feel free to explain yourself or debate with me, or don't. whatever works

[minnwaa]

hi so triage happened

unlike the last two posts, this time my bullshit is a bit less grounded because i am Not A Doctor therefore many medical refs will go over my head. im also fairly sure that the same theory has been said and i am late, but you gotta forgive my brain for computing late bc the fact that shidou is canonically a dilf. i am, however, good at coming up bullshit so let's talk about what i think is shidou's crime.

and despite whatever he did, i do forgive him.

tw: medical stuff

so triage opens with shidou walking down the streets all happy while he carries three pomegranates (and possibly more, but this is the visible one). im still unsure what the labels on those pomegranates are, but i am fairly sure that this was meant to represent the three lives that shidou carried with him (aka in his life). aka, his wife and his two children. we can see that this man loves his family very fucking much, which kind of mirrors what he said in the drama. (once again, thank you onigiriico for the drama translation. i cried reading that shit) he mentioned the law of protecting a criminal and the fact that the law might overlook it if the one who protected the criminal is a family. this probably doesn't mean that he needed protection or protecting a criminal, but rather the fact that the law will be on his side if he is on trial because family IS important to society and law. so he thinks what he did was justified, but at the same time, he is so fucking guilty.

so then we got a few cuts of his family being cute and all, and i have to say the dreaminess (the light color and the lighting) of this scene is intentional? kind of like shidou romanticizing what he lost.

this part is him realizing that he lost everything. the life he had with his family and the him who was so happy. because, well, he lost everything.

look at the difference between these two frames:

this is shidou remembering his happy memories and what-could-have-beens.

this is shidou while he was grieving. like, Really Grieving. he's sad.

focusing a little bit on the pomegranates, assuming that pomegranates meant lives, then the implication of these pomegranates are:

two of the pomegranates are unsalvageable.

while two are a mess (one of them more so than the other) but one of them can be saved. while there are other pomegranates around him whole, meaning that they are alive and well.

so what i think happened is that his family (meaning his wife and his two children) were caught in an accident that caused the children to die on impact (or one died immediately while one died on the way or on the operating table.)

because we did see one of the children given a label of some sort by shidou, meaning that there was something that he possibly did while the other one didn't show up again until the very end.

however, his wife can be saved. so he felt like he has to save his wife, law, the world, everything be damned. this is partly because of his survivor's guilt and the need to protect someone he loved dearly.

i thought this at first would be his wife's bed but i think this is his child, because the bed is too big for his child and there is a possibility that he died on operating table. shidou wasn't the doctor operating on him obviously but he did lose his child. and the him on the back is to remind him "HEY YOU STILL HAVE YOUR WIFE. SHES STILL ALIVE. KIND OF."

this scene is him basically realizing that he could lose it all if he kept getting stuck in his grief, and he now has to work to save the only person that he could save. his beloved wife. case in point, during the last chorus, the close up of the children got fade to white, while his wife's didn't, it cuts to shidou putting on his gloves, as if he's preparing himself to do the atrocities.

now we jump a little to throw down, because i think throw down showed what actually happened after that.

shidou was in the garden full of flower, with him tending the flower before cutting them and putting the flowers on a frame of a body full of flowers.

so my theory is that the frame of human-flower could be his wife and she was either comatose or full-on life support and in need of transplantation. so that's what he's doing. according to him, he has to ask the family of the comatose patient to be the donor of organs and he never considers them to be cruel, bc he thinks it's necessary. that is, until it happened to him. we'll come back to this.

let's use the flowers as the symbolism of "organ" and "chance", because i think the act of him cutting the flower in throw down is basically him taking the organ/taking the chance of those comatose patients to be alive again. he doesn't put everything on his wife, of course not. that'd be dangerous. but he does put his wife on priority and he is searching tirelessly, no matter the cost. because this is the only way to save her, so he has to. there is also a possibility that he was using the other patients kind of like a training, because well, the operation to save his wife has to be perfect.

but shidou is inherently a good person. he is very, very desperate but he is kind. despite everything that he had done and the fact that he tried to justify everything, he still thinks that he is guilty. because he has to take another life to save others. that's just the life of a doctor.

however, fate says otherwise. his wife has been under for long, and another doctor calls for her to be a donor. shidou never realized how cruel it is until he is on the other end, and now he has to let go of his wife. but he doesn't want to. he refused.

so he made the call to transplant her with the organ that matches her the closest. it might also mean that shidou took the "chance" for someone else and priorities his wife. and well. it went well. kind of.

in the next few frames, we were basically shown the fact that her arm and leg don't work. this could either mean that the operation was a success but not without complication, or it cost an arm and a leg to be able to pull this off. but it went well and she was on the way of recovery. but as you all know...

despite everything that he had done, the countless lives and chances that he sacrificed, he failed. as in, the complication killed his wife.

what is very interesting is the fact that shidou's lyrics and his mv is so... different from each other. because well, his mv showed his readiness to commit crimes to save his wife. while the lyrics showed that despite all the lives taken, he is still necessary to take care of people in milgram, because he is the only one who can. he wanted to live because he is "necessary". shoutout to him for acknowledging that kotoko is the problem bc he needs to dislodge the fang. probably doesn't mean beats her up, but meaning that he is the only one who could care for the victim of the fangs. good for him. goooood for him.

of course, i wouldnt be me if i didn't mention his cover, aka delusion tax. i think this song fits his mind frame when he was on the hunt to find the organ for his wife. because well, the song is about paying the price for a delusion. and that price for shidou is dirtying his hand to give his wife another life. while clinging onto his wife for a reason to live.

that's why he was despondent and just wanted to die on the first trial, because his wife is dead because of him and he has no purpose to live any longer. but like it or not, the attack on the prisoners actually gave him one. he said that mahiru will not survive without him.

he also partly confirmed that his "crime" is of the medical kind. transplantation. taking organs from braindead patients for people who has better chance to live. triage.

but i do have one massive problem with this theory (yes I'm playing devil's advocate for myself) and it is the fact that shidou would not be able to do any of this because he would not be allowed to do any primary care for his wife due to conflict of interest. so i wonder if he did anything else to ensure that his wife got the organ necessary...

anyway, because of that i just want to vote for him as forgiven. call me shit for being biased, but i will actually kill a bitch (k*tk) to save mahiru. that is all.

[basiliskonline]

Advice from a GM that just Started Pro-GMing

You'll see my thread on my experiences here.

But this thread is more of a bullet point general advice or things to expect. Will update as I think of things so definitely keep an eye on it and return to the original post regularly if you want to see (or ya know follow me xD)

Between September and November I had familiarized myself with Startplaying, tried some things that didn't work, adjusted my prices and eventually had my first paid campaign underway at $12/Person, about $60/3 hour session.

Between November and January I recruited for my second campaign at $14/Person and got my minimum player count so a session is coming up on Wednesday the 4th. Fill this group up will eventually bring me into about $80 a game for a 3 hour session.

My next campaign I'll be aiming for $16/person.

NOW ONTO THE ADVICE

I am running the same campaign for different groups, this provides me a variety of benefits:

This campaign is one im already running for my personal group, which means any prepwork, is prepwork i'd be doing already. This is definately important at a "starting salary" for a new Pro-GM.

It allows you to practice, familiarize yourself with and getting focused feedback. Everytime you run it, you'll be running a better product.

Warning: For many people this may lead to burnout or getting bored with your campaigns.

What to Run?

I'd love to run indie games and smaller stuff, but tbh the pickins are slim there, especially with how the website is formatted, you will really need someone searching for your games in order to find them.

Your best options are D&D5E and PF2E, though I imagine WoD and other mid-tier games have some possibility too, the Big Two are your best bets for getting regular traffic outside your own bubble.

Campaigns or One-Shots? Campaigns!

Campaigns tend to be more popular than one-shots, and luckily for you, new Pro-GM, they are obviously more consistent.

A Campaign takes, in my experience, a couple weeks to get filled up, people will get impatient or find other opportunities and they'll come and go, but on average I probably get about a person a week, once you have 3 or so, they can and often start to come in much faster.

To prevent issues in regularity, make it clear up front in the description that you are not looking for a "drop-in" campaign, and you are aiming for people that at the very least intend to stay when joining.

Organization and Tools

look around at other startplaying games to see how they set up their templates and adventure pages.

I'd suggest setting up a discord or guilded server and set up campaign specific roles, so that only people in those campaigns can see the role-related channels. this also allows you to tag everyone in the game for reminders of game start and the like.

Foundry VTT is absolutely fantastic for some games, not as a fantastic as others, if you are running PF2E I strongly suggest familairizing yourself with Foundry because quite frankly its an AMAZING VTT experience.

Feel free to ask questions i'll answer as best as I can!

[lesboygamzee]

Any examples about the gamtav artist thing?

i dont really want to give examples because i dont want to shit on specific artists even if they piss me off but i can elaborate on shit ive noticed . gonna get ranty so :

tl;dr : gamtav artists who are weird about gamzee and dont care about tavros have a weird way of characterising both which makes me very uncomfortable and im upset about it because im a little hater . and also because its gross and annoying

i feel like a lot of gamtav artists who just like gamzee and dont care much for tav make it pretty clear they just want gamzee to get what he wants forever and always . which is Bad . thats pretty vague still but yknow ..

they make tavros just kind of . there as a support to gamzee to kiss all his problems away and make him happy and dont really do much of the other way around ( and if they do its always gamzee being like ' [fucked up font] I WILL PROTECT YOU ' while also acting like a romantic relationship would fix tavs problems with .. romance related shit . because they dont want to see the actual issues tavros was going through because they dont care enough about her

obviously the soft non-confrontational accessory-to-another-character characterization of tav isnt specific to gamtav shippers . it is very unfortunately huge in the fandom . but its still very common with them despite it going against .. everything that makes the ship potentially interesting imo .

tavros isnt soft she doesnt go along with everything someone wants of her . especially not a highblood are you fucking insane . tavros should reject gamzee after that initial conevrsation she did not fucking reciprocate ( i dont care about your fanfic ! you arent fixing shit ! ) and even if she did she made it very clear she still didnt want that relationship because give her a fucking break man . if its gonna happen let her come back in a few sweeps when she has less shit to come to terms with and start it up on her terms thats fine . this is the best way of doing it for both of them . gamzee doesnt get to immediately get what it wants and tavros actually gets a fucking say in things . its not that hard to understand

even if it isnt as obvious with some artists its still There . gamzee is the main character focused on in the relationship because the artist just . really doesnt know enough about tavros to write about her further than ' gamzees [girl]friend who [vague traits about her that might not even be canon] ' . and they probably dont care .

they dont care that tavros should be more mean for her own good even if its just playful banter they dont care thered realistically be some conflict between the two if they were ever actually involved with eachothers lives to that extent they dont care that they characterize tavros the way shes expected to act by other characters and not how she actually does . they dont care that tavros is a character separate from the ship they have reduced her down to despite her having ONE ONSCREEN CONVERSATION with gamzee . two pesterlogs that make up one converaation . come on man

i was definitely being a little generalized with the whole ' you can ALWAYS tell super easy ' thing which i will admit i tend to do but really people who are weird about gamzee and dont care about tavros are just . very prominent in the fandom and there is an upsetting trend od how they porteay gamtav and how it spreads as if any of it is supported by canon .

theres not really a point to this i just really adore tavros shes my favourite ever and has been since her first pesterlog with dave ans it pisses me off to see how the fandom reduces her down to a horribly mischaracterized ship that is admittedly a huge comfort to me !! its upsetting !!

[masschase]

im here to fulfill the random question request 🙏

1. care to spare a teensy Matt x Casey headcanon that we’ve never heard before?

2. if you were to write that sequel, what exactly would it center around? hypothetically of course! wouldn’t want you to give too much away 😉

(also i hope you’re doing well!! 🫶🏻)

Thank you so much 😊

Random questions are always, always appreciated of course but I really needed something to focus on while drawing is going badly 😅

A (not soo teensy) headcanon about Matt and Casey I haven't talked about yet:

Something Matt and Casey really missed on the spaceship was rain. Stilwater and London both get over 100 days of rain and it's one of those things you don't realise you miss until it's gone.

Like, yeah, OK, everyone time jumps to Earth. The Saints go to sunny beaches, they play in the snow, they walk in the autumn breeze. So yes, they do end up out in the rain at times. But something is missing. It's that feeling when you're just laying in bed and the rain is beating down hard on the windows.

Ragnarok, however has a lot of lush forests, and while the exact process is unclear, it's hypothesised that forested regions generate more water vapour meaning more rainfall. So I think it's fair to say that the new planet sees a reasonable amount of rain.

In Matt and Casey's first house on their new planet, they would hear the rain on the windows and it was such a comfort. Missed, atmospheric, nostalgic. It sounded the nicest on the skylight above their dining table though.

So by the time two of three devastating alien attacks had occured, and they were building their new and most refined house, they put their bedroom on the top floor with four large roof windows. So when it's raining they can just cuddle up in bed at any time of day, and just listen to and watch the rain together.

About my sequel fic

So the plot of my sequel focuses on the third of the aforementioned alien attacks. The starting scene is the final scene of the penultimate chapter of the first fic, "An Introduction" (the bulk of that chapter focuses on Casey finally telling the remainder of the team her real name so that's the double meaning for that particular chapter) but from Matt's point of view.

This is a slight change in format; chapters will alternate between Matt and Casey's point of view throughout, with the beginning/end sections being told from various Saints' perspectives rather than the same person the chapter is told from as seen in Out Of Time. My working title is Out Of Focus.

This attack has a similar "attack them before they become important" theme as the first one, but in this both Casey and Matt are being targeted, as due to events in the first story, their names are pretty well-known throughout the universe.

The same "cannot encounter yourself" rules apply as well as Johnny not being able to travel back as it'll alert Zinyak, so the now pretty large team of Saints has to be divided between DC (Matt, Asha, Charlie, Ward, Riley, Jezebel), London (Casey, Shaundi, Pierce, Daniel, Charlie) and the ship (Kinzie, Johnny, Keith, Rhys, CID, Ben). These are just proposed teams and also I can't remember if I've remembered all the 2023 Saints but you get the picture 😅

Obviously as I am more of a romance writer than anything else, there is a focus on the fact FOUR couples are torn apart by this situation, and what is/was going on in their relationships prior to this. Matt and Casey are dealing with fertility issues, Pierce and Rhys are planning their wedding, Charlie and Ward are having some problems and this is practically a trial separation for them, and Kinzie and Riley will maybe find this brings them closer (I've not quite established where they are relationship wise which is why this is vague). I'm not opposed to some Shasha coming into play somewhere too... y'know I had Johnny make a joke about them in the last fic but now I'm actually thinking about it...?

Anyway there's a lot of things at play where Matt and Casey can't tell each others past selves they're together in case it prevents their relationship playing out as it does. I won't spoil all the subplots but yeah, I have a lot of thoughts. A vague overall idea. Much like the first one, I imagine I'll be in the mood to write one day and it'll just happen.

[mermaidsirennikita]

Reading a lot of historical romance and I think I'm in a cathartic mood but are there any romances where someone finally gets what's coming to them and they know it?

They destroyed their lives, it's ruined meanwhile the heroine is living her best life with her stud.

I mean, if you want to stick with historical romance, there are definitely a lot of older books where the Evil Woman gets what's coming to her, buuuuut that has not SUPER aged well. I feel like, as a kid, I read a lot of Jude Deveraux and Johanna Lindsey books with this vibe, but those come with plenty of trigger warnings for just about everything that immediately comes to mind--underage heroines, noncon/dubcon, the like.

If I'm totally real, I think that lately a lot of my attention has been focused on the life ruiners getting happy endings, lmao. But from what I recall, in terms of historicals, these could give you what you're looking for.

From what I recall, in Amalie Howard's The Duke in Question (a recent release) there is an absolutely bATSHIT final confrontation between the villain and the leads, which I appreciated greatly. Fairly certain it doesn't end well for him.

You might also want to try Monica McCarty's Highland Guard books for this vibe--The Ranger actually posits the heroine's father as the main villain, and there's a huge, epic confrontation on the battlefield at the end.

Lady Isabella's Scandalous Marriage by Jennifer Ashley features, from what I recall, an EVIL IDENTITY STEALING PAINTER who gets his comeuppance.

I want to say that Duke of Midnight by Elizabeth Hoyt ends with a vengeance murder or capture. I love that book a lot. The hero is very literally Georgian Batman. He's also kind of a piece of shit, to be frank, is all but the villain of someone else's book.

Speaking of, in Devil in Winter (another villain as hero book, if a bit more lowkey) there is like... a hilarious amount of "WE THOUGHT WE HAD 'IM BUT HE'S ACTUALLY STILL ALIVE" in the end of that novel. Which I love, because it reminds me of 90s thrillers.

Lorraine Heath likes to go for this--Between the Devil and Desire has a really cathartic ending, from what I recall. (TW: hero was sexually abused as a child.)

A Lady for A Duke by Alexis Hall features a villainous confrontation, and I believe the heroine has him at swordpoint at one time or the other.

Kerrigan Byrne's books tend to head this way--I believe that Seducing A Stranger may be a good place to start, as it kicks off the Goode Girls series that has a lot of this. Her Devil You Know trilogy features a lot of confrontations with villains in each book, there's also a thriller-esque old school vibe to them.

Marrying Winterborne by Lisa Kleypas deals with this... famously deliciously.

Seduce Me At Sunrise by Lisa Kleypas has an evil doctor who wants her for himself!!! And I believe at one point they like, trap him in a burning armoire or something lmao.,

The last three books of Elizabeth Hoyt's Maiden Lane series actually deal with a vanquishing pedophilic sex cult situation, and the heroines and heroes battling it. Keep in mind that these characters obviously have to deal with the sex cult--the heroes of Duke of Sin and Duke of Pleasure especially. The hero of Duke of Sin is also just fully insane, a total villainous hero, but we root for him because he's a fun guy.

Hope these work!

[quietbluejay]

Wolfsbane 7

i have to admit i cackled at the "it's alive!" Haley couldn't resist that one, huh

and back over to the Wolves, Horus again is the only one showing actual tactics sending out the skitarii to fight the scattered SW groups around the ship and focusing the legionaries on the big battle Bror is internally complaining that this is cowardly

some banter in between Bror's squad about the skitarii

Bror Bror you were the one being an asshole to people like everyone else wasn't sunshine and roses but you were the one picking fights with people

good for them! (they killed Flokr) oh no what a pity bror's squad has walked into a trap you know it's funny to me that i started the book wtih an open mind willing to be sold on Russ and the Space Wolves and now I'm openly rooting against them well i mean tbf I'm always a sucker for the underdog and the skitarii/other Trisolans are definitely the underdog here the ship itself is fighting them by rearranging its corridors

and bror's out of ammo and he breaks his sword he goes down under the thralls im rooting for them he's got a gun to his head and then they don't shoot, someone orders them to stop BOOO the rest of his squad is either dead or badly wounded

Cawl gave the skitarii and thralls their free will back this fight would have been so much more interesting from the skitarii POV honestly you come to consciousness, you don't even know where you are, who you're fighting, or even who you are fighting for, you've defeated a bunch of space marines

unfortunately, the surviving skitarii are going to fight alongside the surviving space wolves they leave the space wolf with a broken spine behind also the writing was misleading there's 3 space wolves still moving

and now the epic battle between russ and horus

they'd sparred before, but obviously that was nothing like this battle it's not about the trying to kill each other, "it was a question of power" horus is warp-enhanced russ is…???? i guess not??

okay yeah this was just some wonky phrasing because it went from third person omniscient and talking about both of them to third person limited and russ's POV

okay Russ IS specially warp enhanced the spear "the weapon lent him arcane power of his own" the spear is also enjoying being used i feel a little bad for the spear if it's got feelings imagine you're a very cool spear and you finally find your forever home but your owner doesn't like you but i guess the spear is finally getting the spear equivalent of scritches sparks fly every time their weapons touch and they land on all the tapestries lmao everything is now on fire

lmaoo

horus: i know the truth of the primarchs! and i have to tell you! russ: i know the truth of the primarchs! and i have to tell you! but i won't, i'm going to stab instead!

like russ you guys were talking did you consider telling horus

[skyborne: To be the slightest bit fair, if it's world shaking and ridiculous enough, Russ may not have thought Horus would believe it without the Spear forcing the truth on him]

this is true but also it's yet another example of the book betraying its own half-baked promises i realize my language here is harsh

okay time for more cliche dialogue Horus got Russ in the shoulder

he resists, though Horus is in shock Russ: I do not need to win a phrase that really needed workshopping: "plunging the eager tongue of his blade into Horus' guts" HALEY WHY what a cursed image of the spear

this is worse than curze lasciviously licking an ipad

MOVING ON Horus is glowing

Horus is "screaming light" after a bit everything subsides and now horus is missing the unholy aura

and then Horus stabs Russ again and throws him across the room Horus tells Russ he could have killed him if he hadn't hesitated where??? where did he hesitate maybe it's just that Horus thinks he hesitated???

"blah blah when you get ripped apart after your death you'll realize i was right" russ is injured in a way that echoes how he was injured on his spirit world trip

i'm rolling my eyes the cheese in this book is not doing it for me anyways the space wolves continue to throw themselves at horus to try and stop him finishing off Russ

man where are all these space wolves coming from enough to bury horus also, lmao and now over to bjorn who is fighting chaos space marines including insect head guy

i believe that's called irony it's a desperate battle vs the sons of horus and we're expected to believe that enough of the space wolves managed to break through and get to horus enough to dogpile him? ok "like children trying to save their parent from an ogre" i'm not going to feel sympathy here haley

Bjorn gets to Russ

ok grandpa let's get you to bed

anyways they're retreating

yeah they should not have gotten out of this

they have like no trouble finding their way out despite it being established multiple times that the corridors are shifting and the ship doesn't like them and is also full of people trying to kill them who are coming from all sides

im going to bite him it's the only language they understand

russ when he laughs as he kills his brothers space marine sons: cool horus when he laughs as he kills his brothers space marine sons: evil

bror is apparently mowing through sons of horus then he gets the order

they're all deeply spooked that russ might be dead i really hope the skitarii live and follow the space wolves but i feel like they're not going to

again, this just makes russ look stupider anyways they finally hit a quiet patch time to loot bodies

rare W for Bror bror: all of the legions are monsters, some are just more open about it somehow bror's squad doesn't lose anyone i mean anyone more since they were up against the skitarii back to Bjorn and I think it was a mistake to have the two street-level space wolves be named Bror and Bjorn russ is doing…okay one of russ' commanders sacrifices his helmet for bjorn so he can get through the bit with no atmosphere and now, Bror runs across Abaddon welp the justaerin did a vaudeville entrance, incredible

bror: come down here and fight me abaddon: nah he just has the justaerin shoot them lmao "the last thing he saw was Ezekyle Abaddon's smile"

as opposed to the last 3 chapters and of course horus was delayed long enough for them to get onto the stormbird ramp but not long enough that he doesn't show up at the most dramatic moment the wolves are apparently sending a blizzard of weaponry at horus, though given they've been dropping like flies and regularly mentioned as running out of power/ammo i'm a little confused as to where they're getting this from intrusive thoughts tell bjorn to jump out of the stormbird lol

i'm going to have to reread the battle sequence to figure out where he hesitated when on earth did he have a clear shot and NOT take it??? he had one good shot and he gave it all he had what is this rewriting history both of them are doing

ok????

okay im going back and checking over that scene

[is horus possessed or not]

it [Wolfsbane] can't make up it's mind both things are somehow true it's a metaphor for Russ's cognitive dissonance

going back and yeah he was pushing it with all his might hence the cursed sentence which was like 2 sentences back from this bit

still not seeing hesitation

maybe he was supposed to get back to stabbing here and he stopped? and that's the hesitation? that is literally the only thing i can think of

[given how strained russ is described as being, and even primarchs have physical limitations...]

the whole next bit is russ being like "is this the real horus" horus: yeah but i still wanna go full chaos horus: you shouldn't have hesitated

i think this is an error in editing/proofreading because i've done this before where i planned to put in something/add it later and then wrote later stuff that referred to it

and then my beta is like "bluejay where did this happen???" tsk. sloppy. okay having "resolved" that back to Bjorn, the entire stormbird is full of wounded space marines really the only reason they got out of the ship was Russ' plot armour and the only reason they're going to get out of the system is Russ's plot armour and Cawl STILL has not interacted with the main plot

how do the space wolves still have enough people left to take brutal casualties his large ships are also blowing up there's some descriptions of ship deaths that are very reminiscent of the battle of endor

also the vengeful spirit is now directly gunning for russ' flagship

[woodfrogs]

wait wait can u expand on the mbti thing i dont know that much about it and im curious

yes!!! im bleaching my hair rn so thank you for giving me something to do :D

basically, online quizzes interpret the eight letters in pairs, right? youre either introverted or extroverted, intuitive or sensory, thinking or feeling, and judging or perceiving. and the four you get are completely independent of one another.

the cognitive functions interpretation is based on jungian theory. here, there are only four traits describing how you interact with and interpret the world/yourself: intuitive/sensory (N/S) and thinking/feeling (T/F). introverted/extroverted (I/E) is a description of those four traits - whether they're in relation to yourself, internally, or the world around you - and is written with Ni, Se, Ti, Fe, etc.

judging/perceiving (J/P) is related to the position of a specific function in your "stack". the stack is basically four of these functions - one of each N/S/T/F; two I and two E - in the order you're most comfortable using. someone with a judging function (T/F) as the first E in their stack is J, and someone with a perceiving function as the first E in their stack is P. basically J/P comes from how you interpret the world around you. T/F and N/S is determined from which comes first in your stack.

so for example, an Fe-dominant will be very conscientious of the emotions of people around them, of societal morals, etc. and those things will factor in their worldview and decision-making a lot. an Fe-inferior (fourth in the stack) might struggle with noticing others' feelings or not take them into account. auxiliary and tertiary functions have their own roles but they're more complicated and i forget the details since it's been a while since i thought about this lol.

the stack is built out of alternating I/E functions (so _i_e_i_e or vice versa) and whichever function is dominant, its pair is always inferior. (ex. T_N_S_F_ is valid (either ENTJ or INTP depending on whether their dominant function is Ti or Te), but S_N_T_F is not). this leads to 16 combinations - the 16 types.

so this is where my complaint comes in. someone who just took a quiz might look at ENTP and go wow! that person is extroverted! when really it's just that they interpret the world primarily through Ne, which is about seeing many different possibilities and getting bored when stagnant for too long (that's how it externalizes, at least). compare that to an INTP, which is an introverted ENTP when just looking at the letters, but in cognitive functions suddenly reveals that their dominant function is Ti, much more focused on their own internal logic and having a specific purpose in life than ENTPs who's Ne might cause them to jump from thing to thing. and this is just looking at the dominant functions of two types with the same functions in their stack, just dom-aux swapped - the different positions of the other three also obviously play a role, even if they're also only shifted by one.

i suppose there is a connection between social intro/extrovertedness and this but its nothing more than an EXXX will be more comfortable and able to externalize themselves than an IXXX, who has to express things and function through their auxiliary function when interacting with the world - which is easier for an EXXX who is functioning with their dominant in that case. but it doesn't mean that, say, someone with an Fe auxiliary (IXFJ) won't be more comfortable with others than someone with Fe tertiary (EXTP).

anyways. that was long. but i do wish that more people used MBTI as a character-building tool because i think it's a very useful thing, to think about how a character goes about interacting with and internalizing the world. what's their go-to? what can they lean on if that doesn't work? what do they struggle with? and that's not even going into things like dominant-tertiary loops (when they skip over their auxiliary and start relying on their tertiary too much, often used in MBTI analysis of fictional character Going Through It).