#often those that take them arent even wearing a mask. like. are you just taking things cos theyre free?? what are you gonna do with those

[tendercoretroglodyke]

people will really stand around making small talk like "can you believe covid's back??" without a mask even in SIGHT, with no irony or self-awareness at ALL. truly astounding

[modx-reborn]

comin in hot with another ask-

i want eret to collar me. give me some pretty little collar with a tag that says "mommy's baby boy" or something like that and just be their bitch. They toodle you around the castle all high and mighty and you're always there and always ready to be bent over and fucked without mercy. they would pull on the collar to keep your head up while they rearranged your insides too. they spoil the shit out of you too when you arent being fucked senseless

-🐉

🐉, your brain is so wrinkly...

It was a gift that started as something you used to signal an open idea for play, something you wore when you were free to them making a mess of you, using you as they saw fit, a pretty soft red with a little clinking gold tag clearly marked with your roll, 'Mommy's baby boy' engraved in flowing script and filled with obsidian to make it stand out against the glided tag, in every way a claim to them and them alone.

But over time it had become more, a new collar with a different title engraved on it, seen by others that weren't Eret, something that people never got understand as when you had worn it you were sat by the throne, dropped in the royal colours and so clearly occupied by the long fingers dangling by your face or idly playing with your hair. You were the king's pet, neigh untouchable and out of reach from all those in the court, following wherever the king when as they saw to meeting and discussions, never a part of the talks but always there.

They could see the tag, but they would never know that under the king's colours and behind the patient front was the original meaning of the collar, the invitation to have and take you as they saw fit whenever they saw fit, even if that meant ending a meeting early as you had stretched and shown off some of the marks they had left on your skin in the lull between meetings meer hours earlier.

There had only been once that Eret had almost had you seen, had someone find out just how far the title of 'Kings pet' really extended.

"Can't do anything with you around can I? No, my pretty little thing needs mommies attention, needs me to use my hands and keep you in line. Almost had us caught as you had almost been humping my boot, thought I could have my pretty pet out with my and there you were being such a needy thing-"

Only the doors had opened, revealing Dream the kingmaker and menace of the server, the only thing that had kept him from seeing just where Eret had put their hands was how you were seated in their lap, chest to chest with them, robes keeping prying eyes from just what was happening as the smiling mask was speaking and throwing his hands about, complaints being the only thing that was being spewed.

That incident had been the only real close call, or well the only real close call, as it had shaken something loose in Eret's head. Now when the halls were empty you were being bent over and fucked, hands tangled in your hair, pulling you flush to their chest as they make sure you know just how badly they want you. Having them mutter filth into your ears as they watch their cock disappear into you, mix the praise they usually spew with offers of more and more for you being Mommies good little pet, and behaving during their meetings and not having another 'dream' incident.

Knowing that the moment your day was over and that collar came off for bathing and bed, you would be spoiled and coddled, shown every affection and love they held for you. Often after the especially long days, there would be little trinkets and the like waiting for you, given to you with a kiss to your temple and long fingers loosening your collar, cooing at how good you will look wearing whatever you had given them.

Albeit most gifts are met by the donning of the first collar, gone is the king's pet and before them was their sweet little one, so ready to do anything for their mommy, so long as you wore that collar there was no doubting just who you belonged too.

[circethegoblin]

STAYING ALIVE MASTERPOST, FROM A BROKE TEEN WITH ADHD

here you go. some down to earth tips on how to not die metally nor physically.

tired of those "drink three liters of water everyday uwu" and "wake up at 5 am" and "buy a bath bomb and a fec mask and some other things you don't have the money for" shit? i'm here for ya.

1. NOT DYING

eat at least three meals a day, one of which m u s t be warm and above 300 kcal (it can be istant ramen with an egg added if you have to)

you technically should shower everyday, but we know how it is. A change of clothes is sometimes enough.

DRY SHAMPOO AND BABY WIPES!!!

keep bottles with water everywhere. On your desk, near that spot on the floor you always end up sitting on, near your bed, basically whenever you know you spend a lot of time. No need to get up and go to the kitchen will help. Obviously change the water in the bottles as often as you can.

Get some form of physical activity. It doesn't have to be much, you can for example replace scrolling on tiktok by walking around your room and scrolling on tiktok! Brilliant, isn't it? Obviously, running or doing those 10 minutes workouts from youtube is better, but you are still getting like an hour of walking.

Buy blankets. Steal blankets. Summon blankets from other dimensions. Just make sure you have a lot of warm, soft blankets in your house. You will thank me when you won't have the anergy to wash your sheets (just take them off and throw some blankets on your bed), or when the power goes out.

If you have pets, ALWAYS keep spare food that'll last for a week for them.

things to always have in the kitchen: milk, eggs, flour, rice, pasta, yeast, cheese, oil, a leafy vegetable, onions, tomatoes, apples, patatoes, some flavourful sauce, sugar, salt, spices and an emergency chocolate bar. You can make a lot of food with those. Just make sure you won't eat the chocolate too fast.

Have a lot of spare batteries. A lot.

Get urself a flashlight, a lighter, and a pocket knife.

Remember the apples? eat one a day. if you don't like apples or you can't eat them for any other reason, you can take a kiwi, banana, orange, basically something that will give you vitamins and non processed sugar.

do the dishes before your sink starts developing it's own ecosystem

drugs from that one guy around the corner = very bad time

2. NOT DYING INSIDE

Open the damn window.

Don't watch so many commentary videos. You are probably not even checking the sources, so you can easily make unjust judgement, and like. did you even hear of half of those people before?

make a discord server just for yourself. get into the habit of writing little things that happened to you there. rant about the fanfics you read. or the movies. vent there if you don't have anyone you can vent to. write your ideas there, write e v e r y t h i n g. make a section for passwords, for quick ideas, for your to do lists. you won't lose it as you do with sticky notes or notebooks. there is no risk anyone will see it. oh, and when you'll have a strong impulse to tell emily that you hate her? write that message in your private server and list all ur arguments. look at tat the next day and decide if you really mean that.

life sucks. come to peace with it.

cuddle ur pets if you have them

1 hour a day without a lot of sensory input. if you have to, reduce to half an hour.

if you find yourself scrolling endlessly through social media, make sure it's pintrest (just don't compare urself to the people here; if you have issues with that, tumblr may be better)

delete. twitter. from. your. phone.

influencers are lying to you; maybe not even intentionally. remember when you were watching that cute-aesthetic-productive morning routine, and you were wondering why your life isn't that pretty? why your room is a mess? why you cannot for the life of god be aesthetic 24/7? its the filter. don't worry about it, their lifes arent that nice either.

realize there's actually nothing stopping you from screaming as loud as you can right now. like there is no physical barrier. think about it. realize there's no actual physical barierr to many other things.

your body is your body. you can decide how it looks like; just remember it's in your greatest interest to keep it healthy.

3. BEING A LITTLE BETTER THAN JUST ALIVE

If you wear make up, take it off before you go to sleep.

moisturize your body; everything is better when your skin doesn't feel dry

have a one brand of cosmetics that you love and buy things mainly from it. they often have sets of products that complete each other. i like ziaja. it's a polish brand, it's surprisingly cheap and has nice quality

cleanser, moisturizer, face mist

of you can, change your sheets once every two weeks

do the dishes before your sink starts developing it's own ecosystem

do a deep house clean once a month (don't beat yourself up when you don't tho)

keep your workspace organized (it doesn't have to look organized to other people, remember)

sunscreen

cook your own food

keep a calendar

no money for scented candles? got ya. make a simmer pot: throw some apple peel, a couple of cinnamon sticks and whatever spices that smell good you have into a pot, add some water and simmer. boom. your house smells good, and you haven't spend 20 dollars.

If you really like candles, buy scented wax melts. it's cheaper.

Buy urself scented mists. they're pretty cheap and will make you feel A LOT better.

keep your clothes clean. if you aren't sure if that shirt thats on your chair is dirty or not, throw it in the washing mashine anyway. better be sure.

if you can, make your bed right when you get up

wear clothes that make you feel good. put some effort into your outfits. really.

4. OTHER PEOPLE

be nice to essential workers.

if you have money, give tips.

remember, you do not owe anyone love; it is not something you can force. even if they saved your life. even when they helped you in your darkest time. if you don't love them, you don't.

you don't have to be in a romantic relationship to be happy.

if you want to, date! date everyone! date girls, date boys, date nonbinary people! date people completly different than you, date people from different countries, date them!!! just make sure they're kind and won't kill you. even if you don't end up in a relationship, you can learn a lot.

don't be afraid to piss off people that deserve it

smile to strangers :)

5. NOT FAILING SCHOOL

heard of dark academia? check it out

romanticize the heck out of studying

do not let your studying be just reading the same partagraph over and over again. it won't work. believe me.

seterra for geography, quizlet for everything else

try to make yourself intrestet in whatever you are studying (watch veritasium, listen to podcasts about weird history facts)

notes are for you and you only; don't worry about them looking pretty. doodle on margins, make weird metaphors, squeeze in as much info as you can.

when you're studying, listen to music without words/in a language you don't understand.

chew gum while you study

get the forest app, get attached to the trees, focus.

don't feel guilty for taking breaks

grades aren't everything, but they are important.

eat something in school

don't just use the cheapest pens. invest a couple dollars in something that will make writing enjoyable and smooth

those study with me videos? they're great

if you like to argue with the teachers, take care of your grades becouse. they may not like you afterwards.

be nice to your classmates and help them with homework. if you don't do your homework they'll help you

executive dysfunction won't let you study? been there. sometimes it's better to wake up ealier tommorow and do that homework then.

don't feel guilty for failing a test

go to the goddamn class

don't pull all nighters oh my god don't especially on weekdays

6. OTHER LIFEHACKS

don't get involved in the crime, and if you do always have a believable explanation why you were doing it

have different alarm sounds for every day of the week

set a daily limit of money that you spend

great hobbies that don't require a lot of money; urban exploration, writing, hiking and learning other languages

thrift stores

don't eat grapefruits while on meds

nail polish removers dissolve most strong glues.

if you have a cut on your skin, desinfect it. do it. please just do it.

always have pads with you. even if you don't get periods, at least one of your friends probably does

sign up in your local library. its free

[adhdsix]

@escapismdragon​ helloo i am jjumpin on the bandwagon !!!! this is all concept stuff so its not done yet . but. wanna share bcz idk if itll ever be finished ahsfhg

info below!

notes for this creature-in-progress!! most of these r just concepts afdgb idk if ill ever finish it properly butyehahh also someof these things might not even work . but yakn ow 

it takes the form of a slightly twisted red fox ! (to the surprise of nobody)

it actually has features from a few different fox species but specifically the red fox as its the most common usually they look like a model red fox! they r. well. red. but they can come in other red fox color variations aswell

it almost always appears thin and sickly, even when it's perfectly healthy (as healthy as it can get considering it constantly needs 2 feast) and you can usually see its ribcage

its found mostly deep in forests but sometimes can be seen near the forest edge or in glades

while it looks like a red fox for the most part, there are a few eerily humanoid things abt it which include; - its face/facial features, such as eyes and mouth - its paws; theyre a little more like hands and dont have paw pads (still no proper thumbs though)

it can shift its body a lot, so its hard to tell whether theres one or multiple in the area if you cant catch them both at the same time it can elongate and twist its body slightly, makin it kinda noodle-like; not enough to really enhance or help it with anything the majorit of the time, and its like. just enough to be noticable. but it is super eery (n like i said before it can create the illusion of multiple in the area, despite them not usually traveling in groups)

some of them might wear masks ! i still dk if i want to add this bcz it feels like it gives away the illusion of them being a fox but yeahdhfjsjg theyre usually blank masks w hollow eyes

theyre pretty dangerous considering theyll eat almost anything that moves when it spots a target it'll become attached to it, and its insanely hard to lose it. chances are it wont rest until the target is dead which is why you never want to be seen by these guys being fox-like they have quite incredible hearing and . well most tracking skills ahdhg

theyre really elusive too. if theyre spotted/they spot something, they disappear almost immediately, making it hard to tell if youve been targetted or not

like regular foxes, they can use the earths magnetic field to help track and catch prey

upon spotting a target, their face usually widens in2 a grin, easily spooking anything in its way

again, like foxes, they mimic other animals behavior n noises, and the most commonly heard sound from them is their almost human-like screaming (something like this but a little more humanish) as well as sometimes cackling and giggling (like what is heard here)

theyre quite rare and usually only one or two will reside in the same / nearby areas though so luckily they are pretty hard to come across, both on accident or on purpose (altho idk why youd wanna find one of these guys) like i said before theyre solitary for the most part and eat most anything that moves, so attempting to befriend or atleast live in peace with one would be really tricky but.....yknow...... not saying its impossible..,,,...

they are very very sensitive to most charms and especially things with bones, such as bone wind-chimes, so those are great to have if youre in/live nearby a deep forest, or if youre being tracked by one as noted before its hard to lose them if youre being tracked/targetted but charms will often keep them at bay for quite a while atleast in one of the drawings it has two tails but im not sure if i want that 2 be a feature yet (i was looking at other fox yokai n stuff and obviously kitsunes appeared so,.,. hgfh)

 silly fact: they can often be seen mousing :] (if they dont notice you nearby first)

also like most foxes n fox creatures, theyre tricksters! they like to do little things that mess with the mind if they cant pounce, such as moving things around when you arent looking, or even stealing stuff. they also use their mimicking skills to confuse people aswell, and make them think theyre seeing things  

thats all i have abshdgh again. lots of this is concept stuff so  nothins rlly final yet but !! :] 

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression Ep 26 - German virus transmission experiment.

K: This is Dir en grey's Kaoru, with this episode of The Freedom of Expression. Joe san, Tasai san, welcome.

T: Kaoru san?

K: Hm?

T: I thought we could invite a guest today.

K: Ahhh?

T: So, should we call him?

J: Who is it?

T: Who do you think it is? Someone with a connection to this show.

K: One of those two..

J: Yeh, one of them.

T: Here you are..*hands phone over*

Caller: Hello

J: Hello.Who is it?

Caller: Its Dobashi.

K: Is it Bishbash san?

J: Bishbash Dobashi san.

Caller/Dobashi: The people watching this on Youtube will be a bit afraid, thinking 'Who is this guy??'

J: No, the core fans will know you.

D: Will they? Am I ok?

J: We've heard from Tasai san that you've moved up in the world at Tokyo Sports?

D: No way, Im just in the middle management.

K: No, no, no, only someone important could say that.

J: He's superior, thats right. Its always that pattern, right?

D: I can't really come to see you anymore, Im sorry about that.

J: Where are you going out for entertainment?

K, D: Haha

J: You're pretending to be busy, according to Tasai san, you are making full use of company funds to have fun.

D: What are you talking about?? During the corona crisis I've been stuck at home all the time.

K: Even though the Olympics won't happen, you've been using the Olympics as an excuse to run around all over Japan.

J: Yeh yeh yeh yeh.

D: Well, because its been postponed, right?

J: You don't need to hurry if its been postponed though, do you? As the Olympics reporter?

K: He's pretty stuck now.

D: Since the Olympics have been postponed, I've kinda been distanced from that role though.

J: Oh really?

T: Oh, I see.

J: Eh? Whats your job now? What are you covering now?

D: What am I covering?

J: You don't know? haha.

K: Well, no, he's become more senior...

J: Oh, yeah.

K: So maybe he won't be sent out places and stuff.

D: If I'm forced to say it, I'm probably the spiritual reporter.

K: Ehh?

T: Oh, yeah.

D: From psychics to fortunes, haha.

T: The whole of Tokyo Sports' spiritual corner is done by one person.

K: Like..give us some stories! haha.

D: I'll bring the fortune teller and psychic who Tokyo Sports recommends to see you some time.

J: Really?

D: We'll get Kaoru's fortune read.

J: Oh, lets do it!

K: Sounds good, haha.

D:  And Joe san's.

J: Oh yes, yes please!

T: I bet Joe is probably possessed by lots of girl's spirits.

J: No, I wanna know my fortune, about whether or not I'll be able to get re-married by age 55.

T: Ahh.

D: Really?

Kami: Thats impossible.

J: Impossible? Kami!

K: He appeared all of a sudden.

D: Ohh, yeah. I see.

J: Couldn't you hear Kami's voice? No?

D: Ah, Kami?

Kami: Kami heeere!

K: Kami's voice..

T: He's here.

Kami: Its Kami heere!

T: He's saying, 'Kami's heere'

Kami: Kami heeere.

K: I don't think he can hear.

J: Yeah, he can't hear. One system can't hear the other.

D: I can't hear.

T: Kami was saying in a very affable voice, 'Kami heere!'

D: Hahaha. Well, hi.

K: Hahaha

Kami: Hello.

K: Its been a while since back then, right?

J: Yep.

T: *To Dobashi* Thank you very much.

D: Yes, thank you so much!

T, J: Sorry to disturb you. *End phone call*

J: Ahh, its been a while since we spoke to Bishbash Dobashi san.

K: He seemed a bit troubled, right?

J: He did. It might be because it was difficult to communicate. But if he brings that fortune teller sometime on this show, that will be fun.

T: Will that be ok?

J: Yeah, I really wanna see it! How about you, Kaoru? Do you?

K: Yes

J: Lets do it together.

T: It is incredible. That guy seems to get it right. Its kinda scary. Dobashi saw him once, and he said he purified him.

J:Eh??

K: Oh really?

J: Was Dobashi possessed by something?

T: Well, at that time, he was going through a lot of trouble in his life, but after that..

J: Everything got better? He improved?

T: Yes, eventually.

J: Oh, lets get this guy to do us.

T: Hiranabe was also seen by him.

J: Ehh?

T: After that Hiranabe got promoted to Director.

J: Director, right?

K: Let's have today's news please Joe.

J: Yes, I'll get it started. Well, for us who are looking forward to live shows, this is some big news towards possibly re-starting them. 'Looking for 4200 test volunteers' - An experiment in virus transmission in Germany.

A group of German scientists are currently planning the project 'Re-Start 19' to find out how Covid-19 spreads in stadium environments. They aim to gather quantitative data to find out how best to restart concerts, as the current outlook for the music word doesn't look favourable. As for the project, they plan to carry it out in Leipzig Stadium, and are looking for 4200 volunteers between the ages of 18 and 50. After getting all 4200 volunteers into the statdium, a singer will perform, and they will test things like how far saliva sprays out etc. All participants must test negative for the virus two days before the experiment, and once in the venue, they must wear masks and use hand alcohol. The alcohol will contain a fluorescent substance to make it possible to see the areas where people often touch, and a smoke machine will be used to specify the spread of the virus through the air.  So, this will take place on the 22nd of August, and the researchers will announce the results before October. While some reduced scale contcerts are beginning to restart, there are high hopes that this study will produce effective data.There arent any big experiments happening like this in Japan, are they?

K: Well, yeh, because you have to use actual people in the experiment

J: Yeh

K: They'd want them to catch the disease, right?

J: Well, they are trying to see where people touch, or how far saliva sprays and stuff, so they are trying to create a simulation, using these nearly 5000 people.

T: It does come with a risk.

J: If there is an infected person there, it is possible that an outbreak might occur, but if you just make armchair guesses like, 'Oh maybe its this, maybe its that', and put on live shows with incomplete counter-measures....But if you do it properly like this, and find out how exactly an outbreak spreads in this kind if group situation, you can use that data and take appropriate counter-measures. Not emotional counter-measures, but doing it properly and  thoroughly. You could say its a very German approach. What do you think, Kaoru?

K: Hmm, yeah. Well, they are looking for people to take part, right?

J: Yeah, I wonder how that will go. It says they are currently appealing for people.

T: Volunteers, right?

J: Yeah.

K: And they must test negative two days before the experiment, but that means on the day of the experiment, there could be people who've caught it within two days.

J: Yeah, there could be. It is certainly not a zero risk situation.

K: They are recruiting people with the warning that there is a risk of becoming infected, right?

J: Well, probably, yeah.

K: If 4200 people gather in one place?

J: Yeh. They are tested two days previously, but on the day, there must be...Well, they will probable test peoples' temperatures as they arrive. But there is the possibility it gets missed. I mean, to the German people, it might be less of a case of whether thats good or bad, and more of a conclusion that its more dangerous to go ahead without gathering the proper data first. If they tried to do this experiment in Japan, it would get quite a lot of criticism, I think.

K, T: Definitely.

J: I don't know quite why that is. Maybe in Germany they have a different relationship with music, or maybe if they say, 'Lets get going!', they have to make sure they do this kind of thing first. Well, I don't know whether they'll actually be able to gather 4200 people, but they'll probably get close. They'll be forgiven for the experiment.

K: Who is funding this? The state?

J: Well, its a group of scientists, I don't know as far as whether the state will fund it, but it seems like the main focus is on these scientists. So if there was no scientific rationale for this type if live performance to go ahead..

K: Nothing will happen, right?

J: Right. Rather than having some emotionally  charged reason, like 'Now is the right time!' or , 'This is the best way!' or something, if you could set a kinda of standard using the results if this experiment, you could have some kind of criteria. Its gives a sense of security to both the performers, and the audience.

T: Tim Bendzko san

J: Bendzko san..what type of artist it he?

T: Well he's a pop singer. The conditions of the participants are, like you said Joe, testing the effects of socially distanced seating, or not.*1

Y: Yeh, yeh.

Kami: Umm...

J: Yes?

Kami: Even if they release the results to show how covid spreads or doesn't spread, in the end, if people are scared of covid they won't gather at these kind of places, but people who think covid is no big deal will gather, right?

J: Well, at first, yeah. Some people on the viewing side may be worried or scared, and end up not going.

Kami: For people who are worried about getting infected, even if there is just a small risk, they probably won't go, will they? They might go if you tell them, 'We know the transmission routes, and we have proof that you definitely won't be infected', but if you say, 'We mostly understand it, and you probably won't be infected', some people probably won't go, they will be afraid if getting sick. So even if you put a lot of effort in, and announce the results, will it be enough?

K: Well, I reckon this kind of thing will steadily keep improving.

J: Rather than happening all at once...

K: Yeah, not like that, they'll just have to keep trying to weaken peoples' fears bit by bit. But rather than doing nothing, I think this experiment will help towards moving forward a little.

J: Well, whatever you deal with, its never all or nothing. Within this process, if some people or scenes can be saved, it'll be one more thing to be relieved about. I think this problem relating to covid and live shows won't be quickly solved, even if we get a vaccine. But doing this one thing, Im repeating what you said Kaoru, but it will be important as a pointer in the direction of relief.

K: Yeah, but not only for live shows, I also want them to do it for daily life, like in the train and stuff. If we don't, then we won't be able to do anything.

T: If its made more visible, people would feel calmer about it. Like, if you know where the danger is, you won't go there, right? Avoid the pit holes.

J: Yes, thats right. Seeing those facts... well, isn't this experiment predicated to cost 100 million yen, right? I don't know if that will be funded by the government, or whether the researchers themselves will gather the money, but the very fact that there are scientists working to restart live shows, must be a source of hope for German artists. Well, so for the time being in Germany, they are appealing for healthy volunteers age 18 to 50 to take part in this experiment on transmission at live shows.

K: It will happen quite soon, right? On the 22nd? Just a little bit after this is broadcast? A few weeks after?

J: Yeah. And then the results will be announced in October, so around that time, we could talk about the results here.

T: Its data that a lot of people in the Japanese music business will want to know.

J: I think so.

K: Ok, well, let's end here. Please subscribe. Thank you very much.

*1 Couldn't clearly hear what Tasai said, but this is what the experiment conditions were.

[caandlelit]

HATE to that person but do you wanna give up some league in quarantine hcs, maybe with hawks depending on if you hate him rn

oh my fucking god ur asking me for quarantine hcs,,,,,,,, lets take a moment to acknowledge that thats a thing that you just did,,,,

like ill dO IT but like,,, after im done laughing my ass off 2020 is off the shits 

okay so this is like assuming that the league are all chill and vibing and alive at the time of corona alright

no one is in a glass jar pulling a mewtwo yet, no one is in jail with their past being revealed yet, no one is TRYING TO KILL TWICE

its corona time

so there would be absolutely no change in shigaraki’s behavior he already just sits around inside gaming and slash or planning a revolution and both of these are strictly indoor activities 

theyre not even allowed to take mariokart out of his room 

kurogiri forbid it after toga made an attempt on dabi’s life 

so shigaraki finds out theyre in quarantine when he realizes

dabi hasnt disappeared mysteriously and come back looking like someone mauled his neck for a whole week !

naturally he walks blearily out of his room at an ungodly hour bc he got thirsty and sees spinner, twice and toga playing monopoly while dabi sulks on the couch and hes like

‘what the fuck is going on’

kurogiri takes precautions !!!

not in a rich white person way 

more like

hes sanitizing the bar more often

he makes sure the gang has masks for if they feel the need to yolo and venture outside

he makes a dramatic speech 

‘so im sure ur all wondering why ive asked you here’

‘we cant leave kurogiri just get on with it’ - bitchy and tired and emo

hes embarrassed about it but he goes on 

‘please,,,, im begging you all,,,,,,, wash your hands i know some of you think of yourselves as above it but tomura i am begging-’

ok 

look im not calling him out or anything, no tomura hate i think hes very sexy (now... he wasnt at the start)

but does he LOOK like the kind of guy whos always washed his hands after pissing ? nO he looks like the guy who was recently cornered by his friends to under no uncertain terms, ‘wash your hair you can scheme later’

hes had a lot of character growth 

toga is really incredibly disappointed nothing is happening this sucks

sticks up a one of those small whiteboards up on the wall in the bar 

it says in bright red marker ‘⬜ days since quarantine’ 

shes also one of those ‘fearless’ kids,,,, 

shes like ‘no illness can hurt me im not afraid !!!’ 

sneezes once and she sits wondering if she should panic

starts wearing the mask,,,,

jin is kinda like 

just walking around as cool as you please

and compress, whos been freaking and panicking since day one, corners him and hes like ‘why ! arent ! you ! affected !’

‘i wear a mask !!!!!!!!!!! daily!!!!!!!!!! what the fuck could HAPPEN im basically in a hazmat suit im FINE’

compress is like ‘huh. reasonable’

spinner is unafraid he is a lizardman he will be okay

love him

boi got ,,, opinions,,,,,,,,

his take is that the government is either exaggerating because rich people are afraid

or that theyre hiding the full extent of the disease from news media

he doesnt know that its both

dabi is a walking talking freakshow

like okay hes horny and mad and sick and tired of being stuck at league hq 

he walks around with his eyes wide and unseeing and shigaraki is staring to get worried because he’s scaring the newbies

‘dabi what the fuck is wrong with you’

dabi, numbly: if endeavor dies because of coronavirus i’m going to hunt down the root of this virus and kill everyone starting with them

shigaraki exhales and purses his lips

slaps him on the back a few times in vague comfort and moves on

dabi’s also like

again 

‘really horny’

thats his excuse for why hes moping around 

when hes not bitching about endeavor to everyone who’ll listen

but he misses hawks

and he wishes he couldve been at hawks’ place when the quarantine was announced

hes complaining on the sofa to spinner on the first weekend as the rest of the league play risk, which shigaraki is dominating and absolutely demolishing everyone in

when

!!!!!!!! hawks appears !!!!!!!!

hawks at home on the fourth day of self isolation: *texting twice* sos please send teleportation guy ujiko whatshisname i miss u guys lol

twice, not knowing hes gonna kill him: aw okay fuck yeah ! bitch !

hawks at home ‘ahhh twice. what a nice guy. what a good dude. what a real homie’

hawks shows up at the league hq 6 days late with starbucks and tells himself hes using the quarantine as an excuse to get closer to the league but he misses dabi’s face 

appears and falls onto the risk board as dabi is mid sentence going 

‘god what id give to have him appear in my lap’

then everyone is shouting hysterically, shigaraki is pissed bc he was winning, toga is excited bc this is the coolest thing to happen in a week, twice is triumphant bc he organized this, dabi is stILL somehow complaining because ‘i said LAP was that TOO MUCH for the universe’ and hawks beams at the mayhem because he missed them

can u ??? tell im bitter ???? about something?????? 

[robin-hood-for-freedom]

I now present to you, my followers, the single worst article I have ever read.

TLDR: A supposed 'libertarian' is actually defending vaccine mandates.

This is actually so bad, I think its worth a full response:

If the vaccine causes no appreciable injury, can you still refuse to be injected, notwithstanding that you might be visiting significant risks on others?

For starters, thats a BIG 'if.' In fact, we know for a fact that there is a (yes very small, but not nonexistent) risk of serious harm from the vaccine in the short run, and we have no way of knowing if there will be harm 5 years from now.

But beyond that: The idea that not taking the COVID vaccine is 'visiting significant risks on others' is just...not true. Its pretty well accepted at this point that the vaccine doesnt prevent the spread of COVID, it just reduces your chance of having serious problems from it.

And that to me, is why vaccine mandates are dead on arrival. Even if we knew the vaccine was 100% safe(which is isnt), and guaranteed you wouldnt get sick from COVID(which it doesnt), it only protects you, meaning theres no 'externality' to not taking it.

Occasionally, however, advocates of limited government will condone directives to engage in benign activities (even when not cost-free) if failure to do so might cause injury to innocent bystanders. Safety requirements for nuclear power plants would be one example

This is actually a very high-level libertarian question that I dont think I should unpack here(maybe another post). But Its also not really relevant, since not taking a vaccine even if it did reduce the spread of COVID(which again it doesnt) isnt nearly as potentially harmful, nor as clearly intentional as, say building an unshielded nuclear reactor in the middle of a crowded city.

Punishing aggressive acts that have already caused damage is a routine government function. But it’s more complicated when government compels conduct that might minimize or alleviate future harm. That’s an area of the law — endangerment — where rights theory is difficult to apply. How much increased risk do I have to endure before your potentially malign failure to act can be redressed? When rights theory doesn’t provide adequate guidance, defenders of liberty often look to utilitarian, cost-benefit tradeoffs

I'm not sure I actually agree with this. But even if I did, it would have to be in the most cartoonishly extreme cases. Abandoning rights theory in favor of utilitarian cost-benefit analysis in anything less can lead to justifying all kinds of horrific shit. And applied too broadly can justify almost anything.

And, no I dont think refusing to take a vaccine(that doesnt even prevent the spread of COVID) comes anywhere near that level. To quote Jules from Pulp Fiction it ain't the same fuckin' ballpark, it ain't the same league, it ain't even the same fuckin' sport

vaccine mandates are nothing new. Wyoming, an indisputably conservative state, requires vaccines for 12 diseases if a child wants to attend either public or private school or a care facility, or participate in school-sanctioned activities.

A lot to unpack here:

First I'm against every single aspect of this, not just the vaccine mandates, but all the way down to the very existence of public schools. So this probably isnt the best example.

But even if you want to set that aside: Do you seriously not see a difference between a kid needing a vaccine to go to public school, and an adult needing one to go to the grocery store?

Also, I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess that every single one of the diseases kids need to be vaccinated for are more dangerous to them than COVID-19.

Oh and obligatory mention that the COVID vaccine doesnt prevent the spread of the virus.

More vaccinations would have slowed transmission and thereby afforded fewer opportunities for the virus to mutate.

The vaccine doesnt prevent the spread of the virus. So this is just straight up bullshit.

And even if it were true: the delta variant originated in a country(India) that hadnt had access to vaccines due to fuckery by the US government and pharma companies. So maybe you should be going after them instead of people who are understandably skeptical of a new medical treatment that we cant know the long term effects of.

Significantly, based on data from 40 states, persons fully vaccinated accounted for as little as 0.2 to 6 percent of COVID deaths, and 0.1 to 5 percent of hospitalizations.

While this might be argument for getting vaccinated(assuming those numbers are accurate, which I kinda doubt), its not an argument for forcing the vaccine on people. Since the vaccine doesnt prevent the spread of COVID, you arent reducing the risk to anybody but yourself.

Third, can we be sure that a vaccine mandate will remedy the problem? Put differently, haven’t we seen numerous breakthrough cases in which vaccinated persons have nonetheless been infected? Yes, but the key reason breakthrough cases are a growing part of the total is that we’ve vaccinated a higher percentage of the population. Most important, as noted above, people who are fully vaccinated experience far fewer hospitalizations and deaths.

All of this is completely irrelevant since the vaccine doesnt prevent the spread of COVID

Yes I'm getting tired of repeating myself, but this point cannot be emphasized enough: If you're argument for vaccine mandates is that not getting vaccinated poses a threat to others, then the fact that the vaccine dosnt prevent the spread kills your argument before it even begins.

Perhaps we should just wear masks and maintain social distancing. But the consensus is that the vaccine would still be necessary, and far more effective.

Funny thing, the CDC is saying masks and social distancing are necessary even with the vaccine because(say it with me now) the vaccine doesnt prevent the spread of COVID.

Perhaps natural immunity from contracting the disease is stronger than vaccine-induced immunity. But most studies say otherwise.

I feel like I should point out here that I've seen a lot of arguments from people on both sides of this question. And I dont have enough knowldge of immunology to be able to judge which is the correct position.

Although it wouldnt really matter if the vaccine were more effective than natural immunity, since it doesnt prevent the spread of COVID.

Perhaps a vaccine mandate can be geographically or demographically constrained. That’s an obvious consideration, which suggests that local officials be given substantial discretion in establishing the scope of any mandate.

I suppose that would be better than a national mandate. But even that much would be unjustified since the vaccine doesnt prevent the spread of COVID.

Or perhaps vaccinations could remain optional, but with restricted access to selected activities by the unvaccinated. That notion — a vaccine “passport” — has the support of nearly 82 percent of Americans, according to a recent survey.

In other news: 82% of Americans are morons who dont realize the vaccine doesnt prevent the spread of COVID.

(okay but seriously, given that almost half of all Americans arent vaccinated, I have to question the methodology of this survey).

 we are in the midst of a health emergency, which means that suitably modified, narrowly-tailored, time-limited rules may be justified.

This is a one-time thing because we are in the middle of an emergency is the justification for nearly every tyrannical act ever undertaken by governments. And to hear it coming from a supposed 'libertarian' is equal parts terrifying and nauseating.

Oh and the vaccine doesnt prevent the spread of COVID.

[dxmedstudent]

Hey, I was wondering about how you deal with people not wearing masks, I mean emotionally deal with it? It makes me so mad personally and I'm not even in the medical field. I'm just so frustrated and disappointed with people, on top of being scared for all of us. Not to put the emotional labour on you, feel free to ignore this of course. I'm just curious how you deal with it, because you seem so calm and reasonable but it must be infuriating on a daily basis for you too.

Hey, it’s OK. I answer questions when I feel that I can, so don’t worry about it. You’re right, it’s disappointing to see people out there without masks. I don’t go out often (my only 3 destinations are work, groceries - though that’s practically at work in my case, and my BF now that we’re allowed to be together) but when I do venture out I do notice that a lot of people aren’t wearing masks, and there isn’t always a lot of social distancing going on, particularly on high streets. It’s honestly more worrying for me than anything else. It makes me wonder if we’ll see more cases soon, and if my life will be upheaved yet again. During the peak, a lot of medical services were suspended - routine care for a lot of specialties was affected. People couldn’t (and still mostly can’t) visit their loved ones in hospital. Health workers (including domestics and porters) were particularly at risk of catching or spreading the virus. Many of us became isolated from our support network as the country locked down.  As I’ve discussed before, it’s been a very different process for everyone depending on their particular life circumstances. 

It upsets me more, actually, that people are acting as if the entire thing is over. Some point after the Dominic Cummings breaking the rules debacle, the lockdown started to be rapidly lifted, and all the media revolved aroound how “lockdown is over” - but the virus is still very much around, and people are still getting sick and dying. I feel like that is being minimised - particularly now the government has toned down its briefings and the numbers arent publicised as much any more.  I feel that people are being manipulated into thinking it’s much closer to ending than it is - because deep down, we all want to believe that this was a short blip that can go away as soon as possible.  But those who are shielding will still face tough choices when it comes to deciding how many risks to take. Cases are increasing globally. In healthcare, we’re trying to return services  as normal as possible whilst readying for a second peak at any time. I look at the local lockdowns in Leicester and Melbourne, and the way cases are surging in some countries, and I have to conclude that this will be a part of my reality as a doctor and as a private individual for some time. We will all have to make tough choices about which of the freedoms that we are allowed we will choose - and how to keep minimising our risks. For example, my BF and I had a chat about restaurants, cinemas etc opening up and when we’d feel it was appropriate to start going ‘out’ again. As we’re allowed to meet more friends and family in a socially distanced fashion, we’ll all have to do our best to keep apart and avoid spreading germs as much as possible. And yes, if our friends are being cheeky and breaking the rules, we’ll have to do our best to gently remind them why they exist. I think that a lot of it is to do with inconsistent messaging during the pandemic. We’ve had waffling from official sources whether masks are helpful or not. This lost valuable time and also faith in scientific sources. And after that in the UK, government guidance has remained wishy washy - what it really needed was a stern ‘you can’t be out in public without a mask’. In fact, the whole de-escalaiton of the slogans from ‘stay home’ to ‘stay alert etc’ to me felt like a wishy washy license for people to do what they want. People needed clearer guidance on how to maintain appropriate distance. I feel similarly about the relaxation of the 2m rule - the evidence is complex, but in general it’s safer for people to stay further apart. However, there’s been a lot of economic pressure for the government to get everyone working and spending again. I worry about how many people are losing jobs and will continue to lose jobs - many are caught between the risks of catching covid and the risks of joblessness in a massive recession. I feel unspeakably privileged to have a secure job and to be able to find my next job easily as a doc - even though I’m at high risk of catching covid (and did) in the line of work. I appreciate that the effectos of this are far bigger and more complex than people dying of covid alone -there will the the people dying of other preventable things, and the massive economic effects on people from the aftermath of this all. We’re in a massively complex situation right now with no easy answers.  Currently the rule for compulsory masks its enforced on public transport - I’ve seen London Underground staff pull people up on not wearing a face covering, and I think that’s appropriate in this context.  But I’d really prefer to see masks in all public contexts - shopping, waiting for the bus, etc. This is not going to go away quickly, so we’re going to have to adapt to living our lives more socially distanced from strangers for the forseeable future. I don’t see things returing to normal any time soon, and that saddens me. I wear a mask in public, particularly on transport. I wear a mask at  work.  Mainly because it’s the rules, and because it’s my role to set an example, and also put everyone at ease - both as a doc and as a civilian walking down the street. I might have antibodies, but who would know that? And anyhow, who’s to say I’m immune, anyway?We don’t know what level of antibodies grant us immunity, or even how long we might be immune if that’s the case. We don’t know how many people catch it and then don’t develop immunity. We all need to wear masks whenever we’re out in public, and do what we can to encourage appropriate social distancing as much as possible.

[cardstumble]

3 Life-Changing Weeks in NYC, May 17 to June 6: Virus, Protests, Looting, Curfew

I can’t begin to adequately describe the kind of things I saw during my visit home.  FYI, I live very close to Union Square which was the original epicenter of protests.  The big subway station at Union Sq was eventually closed as protests became violent and just one entrance remained opened  I walked around the neighborhood a lot and was amazed by the large number of broken shop windows and looted stores.  Almost everything is now boarded up.   And there are quite a few NYC stores that had already given up and permanently closed even before the riots.  The huge number of “space for rent” signs is frightening.  Certain stores were spared like Trader Joes and Wendys.  Some specialized stores were hit because people wanted their stuff - like LEGO toys to take home to the kids and of course women fashion and women shoe stores   Best Buy was broken into and not surprising too that places like CVS, Walgreens, Duane Reede and numerous banks were especially hard hit.  People must hate those places and their high prices and the protests finally gave them a way to express their anger..   It's a citywide curfew here that starts at 8pm and goes to 5am except for essential workers. You can't get on a bus without a mask.  Individual shop owners typically refuse service if you arent wearing a mask .Mask wearing is almost universal though people often also pull them partially off.  You don't get the feeling that things will open up soon in NYC.  And I’m reading just today that the number of new cases WORLDWIDEs rising faster than ever - so we continue to let trump kill not only in the U.S. but globally. Just like in Chicago you can ride any of the buses for free which came in very handy and should have been policy for the last 50 years.. You have to pay for subways - so i used buses wherever possible.  I saw a sick person lie down on the floor of a subway car and try to rests, his pants low on his waste and his ass crack partially exposed and even pubic hair   People notice of course, they react, but they do nothing, they leave him alone.  I think there is a lot of general craziness too caused by virus infections that may not cause respiratory problem but attack the nervous system and brain instead.  Another person I saw was sitting in the park for a long long time obviously deeply depressed and too weak to even walk to one of the nearby food give-aways.  It's very easy right now  to get free food - many of the NYC public schools make bagged sandwiches with milk and fruit etc and give them away at the school front door  Almost everyday I got tuna, chicken, and/or turkey and lots of other choices too just a 30 second walk from my front door TAKE AS MUCH AS YOU WANT    TAKE AS MUCH AS YOU WANT   TAKE AS MUCH AS YOU WANT. “ And instead of going to the school, a taxi driver can deliver a big box from 311 with a 3 day supply of food.   The homeless shelters too have lots of hot food for residents and provide an environment for sick homeless people who need structure. 

[whatthefuuuuuuccckkkk]

Acne is the devil and I wanna share some things that have helped me achieve clear skin after years of struggling

- cutting out dairy. I know everyone says this. It's true. Dairy isnt really healthy anyway, tons of other ways to get calcium. I cut it out to clear my skin now my body absolutely hates it. It bloats me and makes me feel overall gross and disgusting.

- avoid junk food. some more than others tho. chips and candy is not good but not terrible. but greasy fast food and a lot of heavy stuff....terrible. again, I did it for my skin but my whole body benefits.

- silk pillow cases. sounds fancy but you can get them at walmart for the same price as a regular one. also wash it. I'm not gonna pretend that I wash mine every other night because no normal person has time for that. but at least wash it when you think about it. (sheets and blankets too while we're at it)

- free & clear or sensitive skin detergent. I have other skin sensitivities that arent acne but it helps breakouts too.

- wash your hands and don't touch ya face. I know we're all human and we all have the urge to pick at our skin, so if you insist theres tools (available for cheap and work better than your hands and more sanitary) and if you dont use tools then at least wait until you are home to do anything. that way you can take off your makeup and any dirt from the day, make sure your hands are clean, and wash your face after.

- rinse your face off after meals. being a messy eater is a real struggle.

- brush your teeth before washing your face. I was breaking out a lot in the chin area and it stopped once I started doing this.

- makeup remover and face wash are two separate steps. most face washes are not strong enough to clean off makeup and if they are they might be too strong for your skin.

- speaking of makeup remover..... throw the damn wipes away. get some micellar water. wipes have alcohol perfumes and other shit in them to keep them moist and smelling good. your skin might not like that.

- I should not have to say this but do not go to sleep with makeup on, who raised you.

- wash with face wash as soon as you get up and right before bed. only use water during the day as you dont want to overtreat or overdry. some people don't even need face wash in the morning.

- relax with all the harsh acne products. ive tried every acne product that has ever existed (ok not really) and they all kinda suck. - a gentle cleanser avoids overdrying. or talk to your derm about something (I have a super light % sulfur wash, barley any in it but enough to work without overdrying)

- yes you need a moisturizer. even if you have acne. even if your skin is oily. something light is a good basic moisturizer (cetaphil). dry acne is infinitely worse than oily acne. because when acne gets dry and cracked and painful....yikes. also your skin may be oily to compensate for the lack of oil, sound counterintuitive but it's legit. you can feel your skin (with clean hands ofc) and the texture will tell you if your skin is hydrated.

- do not spot treat too often. back to the overdrying here. you will make it worse.

- do not do masks too often.

- obviously makeup on acne is not a good idea but people are gonna do it anyway. tis the life of insecure girls everywhere. but a green primer helps tone down the reds.

- and to avoid spreading breakouts I recommend only covering the areas you need covered. (for example I never wear foundation on my forehead because I dont break out there naturally, but too many days of heavy makeup in a row and I get blackheads there, so I avoid it by not wearing foundation there, and a little setting powder keeps the shiny away. alternatively at work I just use concealer where I need it and no foundation at all. people with acne honestly usually have really good skin in the areas that arent broken out because we are skin care obsessed.)

- don't pop or pick at your skin before putting on makeup. dont do it. not only is it bad to put makeup on a fresh wound basically. but also makeup will not help and it will end up looking worse than it did to start.

- this is always a good tip but with acne it is moreso... let your moisturizer set into hour skin before putting on primer and let your primer set before putting on makeup.

- if you have long hair dont sleep with it down. put it in a bun and out ya face.

- a lot of home remedies are garbage and actively bad. ask your dr or derm for anything that sounds iffy.

- sunscreen please!! acne and sunburn together is actual hell.

- give any product you need time to work. dont buy a whole new skincare routine and change everything at once. you gotta know what the problem is if anything goes wrong. if you buy (ex) a new toner you heard about, then add it and give it like a month before you switch face washes too. that way you can see what is working and what isnt. skin can freak out at something new so dont panic if theres an immediate breakout...let it happen and if it doesnt go away go back to your old one before trying anything new.

- you don't need a thousand products. less is more. face wash and moisturizer. done. obviously to each their own but start simple and when adding stuff..give it time to work before adding anything else.

- when spot treating limit it to only the area you need, you dont wanna dry the surrounding area.

- birth control!! I went on it because I had reallllly bad cramps but my skin definitely thanked me.

- age and patience. no one wants to hear this but teenagers are more susceptible and it can be outgrown. it's not promised but it's possible.

- drink water! try to avoid soda or juice with lots of sugar. they have those zero cal sparkling water. or those flavor squeeze things.

these things are my personal experience I'm obviously not a doctor so there's your disclaimer lol. everyone is different and I'm just trying to lend a helping hand.

above all else my advice would be that your beauty does not dictate your value and your acne does not define you and is not worth being the stressor that it is. but I know that's not an easy thing to accept so here are some tips!

[aplpaca]

93 OC Asks-Any of the Physical Profile questions from 40-60, your choice as to which ones and how many you choose to answer :)

ima put these under a cut bc im taking this as an opportunity to infodump

44. Do they have any scars? If so, what are the stories behind those scars?

Vyma has some faint burn scarring on the fingers of her right hand.  youd probably assume they came from some badass or traumatic experience but really she burned her hand while making donuts at 3am.  the tongs for taking the donuts out of the oil were on the other side of the room and she didnt wanna bother getting it. had the sleep-deprivation-fueled idea that “hey if i grab them fast enough i wont get burned”. tapped steel and burned her hand.  

46. How easily can they express emotions? How easily can they hide emotions?

Claysen - sucks at expressing them, hides them very easily, hides them compulsively

Katt - good at expressing them, not great at hiding them, doesnt like hiding them

Vyma - not great at expressing them (aside from anger and irritation), can hide them well (aside from anger and irritation), hides them when “convenient”

Pickle - good at expressing them, good at hiding them, doesnt like hiding them 

47.  What’s their pain tolerance like?

48. Do they have any tattoos? What are the stories behind those tattoos?

katt has “tattoos” pretty often (theyre not technically real tattoos, theyre patterns and designs they add via being a changeling).  the stories behind them are that they think they look cool.  they tend to go for a lot of sparrow motifs but thats mostly bc They Just Think Theyre Neat

49. Do they have any piercings?

vyma has a few earrings, one of which is her pathian earring

50. How would you describe their style of clothing? How would they describe their style of clothing?

Katts clothing style is A Lot. like if you mixed Vogue, a circus, and a weird thrift store.  they word theyd prob use is Striking.  i actually have a pinterest board of stuff they would wear bc i use my time very wisely (all the high heels on there would have to be flats tho bc there are limits to what one can successfully do martial arts in)

51. What is their height? Weight?

Clayen is 5′9 not counting the horns, 6′1 counting them.  Vymas 5′11. Katt can be a bunch of heights but their “natural” changeling form is 5′10. Pickle is 4′10. i dont have set weights for any of them 

53. What is their hair color? Eye color? Skin tone?

Vyma has dark brown almost black hair, medium brown skin, and and dark green eyes.

Katt can look however they want but their “natural” form has practically paper white skin, eyes (pupilless), and hair.  The appearance theyre chilling out in now is a half-elf with pale skin, black hair, and blue eyes.

Claysen has curly white hair, light purple eyes (with iris and pupils like a human, not pupilless like a lot of tieflings), and light-ish midnight blue-grey skin.  

Pickle’s feather pattern resembles a female purple martin’s (speckled black/grey/white on neck and chest, blue on top of head and shoulders that fades into black, black mask-like design around eyes) and their eyes are a light blue-grey

55. What is their alcohol tolerance like? What kind of drunk are they? How bad are their hangovers?

Vyma has a fairly high alcohol tolerance and when drunk is louder, more outgoing, and would potentially start a bar fight.  she doesnt really get hangovers tho.

Claysen has a slightly higher than average tolerance, but just gets really tired when drunk and has awful hangovers so he tends to avoid drinking enough to actually get drunk.

Katt has an average tolerance.  They get gradually more zoned out the more they drink. instead of getting uncoordinated they adopt a weird forced precision to movements that would usually require no real effort.  their hangovers arent too bad

Pickle is tiny and has a low tolerance. she mostly just gets really giggly, she stops using minor illusion for communication and her mimicing resembles more of a HeHe Funny Noises type of mimicry than an Echolalia For Communication type thing. 

57. How do they feel about sex? Are they a virgin?

sleeping around is one of Katt’s “hobbies”. everyone else has not.  Pickle and Vyma are ace - Pickle doesnt really consider it but Vyma is not entirely opposed to the idea under certain circumstances.  and unless Claysen suddenly gets his shit together thats not gonna be on the table for a while.

59. What does their resting face look like? Do they have RBF?

claysens default expression is pretty blank, which can appear calm and serene or empty depending on whos looking. vyma has a pretty strong resting bitch face, her normal expression looks surly and her face isnt super expressive, so she still looks surly even when happy sometimes

60. Describe the way they sleep.

Vyma - lays like a starfish and takes up the whole bed, uses as few covers as possible

Claysen - sleeps at close to a corner as he can with the blankets in a tangle around him regardless of temperature

Katt - either curled up on their side or flat on their back like theyre trying to imitate a wooden plank

Pickle - moves around a lot in their sleep. no specific sleeping position but would love having a bunkbed. has tried to sleep in trees only to fall out halfway thru the night

[thetravelerwrites]

Commitments: Part 2 (Gargoyles Fanfic)

Rating: Teen Fandom: Disney’s Gargoyles Relationships: Goliath x Elisa Maza Additional Tags: Marriage, Wedding Day Trigger Warnings: Light Language, Sex Mention Words: 3443

It's the day of the ceremony. Elisa has a heart to heart with her mother and father. Please leave feedback!

October 24th, 1999: Goliath and Elisa had chosen this date for the ceremony because it was five years to the night of their first meeting, when he had plucked her from the sky after, admittedly, scaring her off a parapet.

Unfortunately, their union could only be symbolic and not legal. It would also have to be a secret from everyone except for their family and closest friends, but they figured, what else is new? Elisa had long been a target of hate groups for merely having alleged, unconfirmed connections to the Gargoyles, and coming out publicly as one of their staunchest supporters hadn’t done her any favors, but openly marrying a Gargoyle would not only have been extremely controversial, it could have cost her her job, home, safety, and possibly even her freedom.

After talking with Amy, Goliath’s public defender who now acted as the Gargoyles’ legal representation in all civil matters, he had learned that there was a law prohibiting humans from marrying any being that was not also human, regardless of level of sentience or intelligence. Which meant that Elisa’s relationship with Goliath was technically bestiality and as such, illegal. Attempting to obtain a marriage license could have landed them both in jail.

There had been no such law as of 1997, Amy had told him, and she surmised the law had been pushed through in secret around the same time the Gargoyle Civil Rights Movement was being fought in court.

Eighteen months after Gargoyles had become public knowledge, the Gargoyles of the Manhattan Clan and many of their allies had testified in front of a grand jury for the Gargoyles’ very right to exist without persecution. After a lengthy battle and many sacrifices and concessions, they had won.

Following the trial, a bill had been passed granting the Manhattan Clan American citizenship, basic civil rights, and put them on the endangered species list, which automatically protected them against unlawful imprisonment, exploitation, experimentation, assault, and murder.

Before the GCRM, ending a Gargoyle’s life had no legal ramifications whatsoever, but after the bill was passed, the act of killing a Gargoyle while they were awake had been classified as murder. Any person responsible for the killing of a Gargoyle could face up to 25 years in prison.

Destroying a stone Gargoyle was seen as a “common law murder” and carried with it a much lesser sentence, but the prosecution would have to prove that the stone statue the defendant destroyed was a living gargoyle. Otherwise it was simply malicious property damage, though it could possibly be tried as a hate crime.

The bill also protected any human that associated with the Gargoyles from retaliation or discrimination, which finally allowed Elisa the chance to proudly support her friends for the entire world to see. It felt great to stand with them as an advocate after hiding them and keeping her friendship with them a secret for so long.

Despite this historic victory for their kind, there was still much prejudice and hatred toward Gargoyles and the people who stood up for them. Their bold willingness to take on public opinion had afforded them some liberties, but in the eyes of the world, Gargoyles were still practically animals, and the bill had done nothing to change that.

 There were new laws in place to protect Gargoyles against threats and violence, but seemingly nothing to defend them from discrimination. In fact, several xenophobic laws that had not previously existed prior to the GCRM seemed to have quietly popped up out of nowhere.

There was a law that protected the right of any public, private, or federally owned business to refuse service to Gargoyles, including hospitals and clinics. Gargoyles also could not secure a job, license, or any property that exceeded $2000 unless they could procure a valid social security number, while at the same time there was a law prohibiting Gargoyles from legally obtaining a social security number. Gargoyles were also barred from attending any state funded schools, including trade programs, and could not earn any certificate, diploma, or degree. Amy was working to change the laws, but progress was slow and she was meeting opposition from all sides.

It baffled Goliath and infuriated Elisa, who was now forced to uphold these ridiculous laws. She hated it. It was unconstitutional and disgusting and she loathed every second that she had to be a part of it. It very nearly caused her to quit the justice system altogether, because this wasn’t justice, it wasn’t freedom, it wasn’t the same system that had convinced her to join the police force in the first place.

This was a perversion of civil liberties, bigots hiding behind a mask of equality, using the publicity of the Movement as a distraction to quietly impose their will on her friends without anyone realizing it. It made her sick to her stomach, mostly because there was nothing she could do to fix it.

The only thing stopping her from planting her boot firmly inside someone’s rear end the next time she heard the term “flying rats” was Goliath’s steady patience and temperance. He constantly reminded her that no one couldn’t stop them from affirming their love for each other, regardless of these new laws. He didn’t care who found out or how many jail cells he’d have to sleep in, he was committed to becoming her mate and nothing would stand in his way.

He loved her; nothing else mattered. He told her this every night, and every night she needed to hear it just to maintain her daily composure. But she was still angry.

The day of the ceremony arrived cool and comfortable. Elisa awoke at noon in her parent’s apartment, where Beth, Maggie, and Derek had also been staying, not just for moral support but protection in case word got out.

Since there were six hours until sundown, the process of getting ready was leisurely and relaxed. Elisa had decided to forgo several things considered normal for a wedding. There would be no bridesmaids or groomsmen, no flower girl or ring bearer, no best man or maid of honor. How would they choose one, anyway?

The ceremony itself would be short and simple with no frills or embellishments, other than Goliath and Elisa reciting vows that they had written for each other.

One thing would be done according to tradition, her father insisted, was walking her down the aisle himself. The ceremony would be taking place in the main hall of Castle Wyvern. Goliath would be standing at the fireplace with Diane with all their friends and loved ones gathered around them, and Peter would hand her off to Goliath. But, she said pointedly, he would not be giving her away as if she were property. Peter had held up his hands in acquiescence, laughing.

She wouldn’t be wearing a wedding dress; she instead wore a simple gown made of sapphire blue satin, to match the ring, with a low back and a short train. Attached to the straps was a small glass lily suspended on a silver chain that would dangle halfway down her spine. It was sleek and elegant with just a hint of slink. Beth had bought it for her in New Orleans during her post-semester vacation a few months ago, before Goliath had even asked Elisa to wed him. She and Beth often didn’t see eye to eye on fashion, but she had to admit this dress seemed like it was made for her.

She wouldn’t wear a veil or carry a bouquet, either. She did put her hair up, though, held back with a kanzashi in the shape of a blooming peony that Katana had given her as a wedding gift.

An hour before sundown, Elisa and her party loaded into two taxis and headed toward the Eyrie building. Maggie and Derek took to the rooftops and likely would arrive at the castle before them.

As they approached the building, Elisa had to admit she was feeling nervous. She tapped her foot anxiously and wrung her shaking hands.

“Wedding jitters?” Diane asked, sitting beside her.

“Yeah, I guess,” Elisa replied shakily.

Diane laid a calm, warm hand on her daughter’s cold, clasped ones. “Second thoughts?”

“No,” Elisa said firmly. “None whatsoever. I love Goliath. Marriage is unnatural for Gargoyles; he’s only doing this for me. And I want this, Mom. I really want this.” She shook her head and exhaled a trembling breath. “I don’t even know why I’m so nervous.”

Diane laughed gently. “It’s completely natural to be a little nervous, sweetheart. I needed several bellinis and a shot of tequila to marry your father, and even then, I thought I might ruin his shiny new shoes. Of course, that could have been the tequila.”

Elisa breathed a soft laugh. She looked at her mother shrewdly. “You’re really okay with this, aren’t you? Me and Goliath, I mean?”

“Of course I am, baby,” Diane said. “I want you to be happy. If Goliath makes you happy, then that’s what I want for you.”

“Dad wasn’t so sure.”

“Yes, but that’s just how fathers are, Elisa,” Diane tutted. “Remember your first boyfriend, Lucas?”

At that, Elisa laughed out loud. “Junior prom, first date, Dad sitting at the dinner table, cleaning his guns. How could I forget?”

“He did that with every boy you brought home,” Diane chuckled. “He also really liked giving those boys a rundown of all his arrests and showing them awful case files, just to shake them up.”

“Ricky ran from the house before I had time to get dressed for our date, remember? He was too scared to even look at me in class for weeks.” Elisa laughed.

Diane nodded, and they found themselves in a fit of giggles, holding each other. After a moment, they tittered to a stop.

“Goliath isn’t intimidated by Dad’s gun collection,” Elisa said.

“No, that he is not,” Diane agreed. “To be honest, honey, those boys you dated before were no match for you. You need a man who is just as strong as you are, even if he isn’t exactly a man. You’re good together. You’re a lifeline for each other. That’s something you don’t just give up on because it’s hard; the trials are what make it all worthwhile. And the two of you have had your fair share of trials. You have earned each other. Nothing else is important.”

Elisa smiled gratefully at her mother and hugged her around the shoulders.

“Thank you, Mama,” She said.

“Always, baby girl,” Her mother replied, returning her hug.

The taxis pulled into the private carport reserved for the Xanatos family. Xanatos had given Elisa and her family a code to use so they could avoid getting out in the company parking complex or in the street outside.

Peter and Beth had exited first, and Peter opened Elisa’s door and offered Elisa his hand, who smiled up at him and accepted it. She walked arm-in-arm with her father to the elevator, with Beth and her mother trailing behind, holding hands.

The sun was going down as the elevator opened to the top floor. The Maza family walked out into the open courtyard to reach the private room just off the main hall, and could see the Gargoyles on their perches in the red-gold light of sunset.

Unlike the other Gargoyles, who faced outward in their typical vigilant poses, Goliath stood inward, straight as a rail, head bowed, with his wings folded around him. According to him, this was traditional gesture for when a Gargoyle declared their intentions for another. It was also traditional to stand in the perch of one’s intended mate, but Elisa didn’t perch, so that aspect was overlooked.

Waiting for them in the private room was Derek and Maggie, who had arrived first as Elisa predicted. Owen had rather thoughtfully put out a small refreshments table for the bridal party. Xanatos had offered to throw them a big wedding with a reception and everything, which Elisa had refused in no uncertain terms. This smaller touch was much more fitting.

Also in the room were the stone figures of Angela and Broadway, crouched defensively around their egg. They were understandably protective of it and had taken to sleeping in this room during the day, as it was far more secure than standing out in the open over a one hundred and thirty story drop. Since the castle no longer had a rookery, and even if it did, keeping a single egg in there would be superfluous, the anxious parents-to-be took to guarding their precious cargo closely. When they were awake, the bundle never left Angela’s arms. Even during missions, Broadway and Angela took turns staying with the egg, keeping it within view at all times.

Elisa understood. It took a very long time for Gargoyle children to be born: six months gestation in the body of the female and then a full ten years as an egg. Elisa thought nine months was a long time to wait for a baby. She couldn’t even imagine the kind of apprehension and patience it took to wait for over a decade to meet your own child.

But, she reflected, if that’s what it took even for humans, she would do it. She would do anything to have a child. Before she met Goliath, it wasn’t something she had given much thought. Back then, she was much more focused on her career and wasn’t sure if she even wanted kids. If and when she decided she did, she figured she had plenty of time. Now that she knew it wasn’t a possibility with Goliath, it was all she could think about.

Elisa had talked to Beth and Maggie about it the night before. Maggie lamented that she wasn’t sure her augmented body was capable of bearing children or what effects her’s and Derek’s altered DNA would have on them. Beth and her girlfriend Serena, both only 21, had no interest in children. They both sympathized with her, but what could be done?

In Goliath, Elisa had found her true equal and soul mate. She was overjoyed to be with him and wouldn’t change a thing about their relationship, other than more social acceptance. Her mother was right, they had earned each other and they deserved to be happy. A child wouldn’t necessarily make it that much better, but still. Still. It would always be in the back of her mind, the one thing just out of reach.

Just as they settled in, cracks began to form in Angela’s and Broadway’s stone exterior. Instead of the normal explosive way they shed their skin, they carefully shifted this way and that to slither out of their cocoon, diligent even in sleep about protecting their offspring.

“Elisa!” Angela exclaimed upon seeing her, rising to her feet. “You look lovely!”

“Thanks, Angela,” Elisa said, embracing her.

“Are you nervous?” Angela asked as Broadway came up behind her, holding the egg.

“A bit,” Elisa said.

“I’ve never seen a human wedding before,” Broadway said. “Other than on T.V.”

“Neither have I,” Angela said.

“Well, this won’t be your average wedding, Big Guy,” Elisa said. “I dumped a bunch of the traditional stuff I didn’t think was necessary. This’ll be pretty bare bones compared to most other ceremonies.”

The door opened. Lexington, Brooklyn, and Katana entered the room with Matsuko, who had her tail wrapped around her father’s hand.

It was an odd contrast to see Brooklyn next to Lexington now, who had at one point been his and Broadway’s equal in age. Brooklyn no longer crouched when at rest anymore; that was apparently a trait among young Gargoyles or ones on the smallish side, like Lexington. Brooklyn had aged over forty years in the time stream, though it was more like twenty in equivalent human years, and his countenance reflected it. He stood much taller than before and straight as a post next to his mate, resting a hand on her shoulder.

Elisa felt a little like Lexington had gotten the short end of the stick. Compared to Broadway and Brooklyn, who were both mated and fathering children, Lexington seemed a little left out. He was always his usual cheerful self, though, and never seemed bitter about how things were.

“This is so exciting!” He said brightly. “Aren’t you excited?”

“That’s one word for it,” Elisa said wryly.

Katana grinned to see her gift in Elisa’s hair. “It suits you,” she said. Brooklyn smiled fondly at her.

“I love it, thank you again,” Elisa said.

“Goliath is in the Main Hall,” Brooklyn said, his voice deeper than it used to be. “He and the others are setting up and getting ready.”

“We’d better join them,” Derek said, nodding to the others in the room. All except Elisa and her father moved toward the door.

“Hey, guys, before you go,” Elisa said, addressing her Gargoyle companions and her family. “I just wanted to tell you how grateful I am to have you all in my life. You guys have been the best friends I’ve ever had, and I don’t know how to thank you for it. I know that this is all a little alien to you, and I’m honored that you’re all a part of it. I don’t know who I would be without you and I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate each of you. I love you guys.”

“Aw, Elisa,” Lexington said shyly. “We love you, too.”

“I look forward to becoming part of your family,” Angela said. “My father loves you. His joy is my joy.”

“We’d better get going,” Diane said. “I need to get into position and prepare Goliath for the ceremony.”

Elisa nodded. They hadn’t done a rehearsal. This was all being done with no prep-work, largely because the ceremony itself was going to be short and to the point, so they hadn’t felt the need for it. Elisa was rethinking this now, perhaps a bit too late.

The others left to get into their places, leaving her alone with Peter. He held out his hands for hers, and she took them, facing her father and willing herself not to cry.

Peter shook his head, smiling gently at her. “I can’t believe it.”

“What?” Elisa asked.

“My baby girl. My firstborn. Getting married.”

Elisa laughed. “Technically. Not legally.” She looked up at him, wincing. “Does that bother you?”

Peter shrugged. “Laws change. In ten years time, who knows? Maybe you’ll renew your vows with a real license in hand.”

“One can dream,” Elisa said wistfully. She looked up into her father’s eyes. “I’m glad you and Mom are being so cool about all of this. I can’t imagine what you thought when Goliath first spoke to you about it.”

“Well, to be honest, we’d have supported it regardless. Nothing Goliath could have said would have actually mattered,” Peter replied.

Elisa frowned. “Why not?”

“Because I trust my children,” Peter said. “If he had asked you and you said yes, there must have been a damn good reason for it. Even if I don’t fully understand it, it doesn’t mean it’s a bad decision. You’ve always been a good kid, Elisa. You were the one out of all your siblings I never had to worry about. You always had a good head on your shoulders. Hell, you never even had a rebellious phase, and you could have been a real monster if you wanted to be.”

Elisa flinched at the use of the word monster.

“Sorry,” Peter said. “Not what I meant. I should have said disaster.”

She playfully nudged him, laughing a little.

“You’re smart, Elisa,” Peter continued. “Smarter than your old man ever was. If you say this is what’s right for you, how am I supposed to argue?” He pulled her into a hug. “I’m here for you, kid, no matter what.”

She squeezed him tight. “I don’t deserve you guys.”

“Yes, you do,” Peter said. “You deserve the world. What kind of dad would I be if I didn’t give my little girl the world?”

A knock came at the door and Brooklyn peeked his head in. Peter and Elisa parted.

“Everyone’s ready,” He said. Elisa nodded with a shaky smile of thanks, and he withdrew.

“This is it,” Peter said. “Ready?”

“Yes.” Elisa closed her eyes and sucked in a breath, holding it for a five count. She exhaled slowly, opened her eyes, and said, “Lets go.”

He extended his elbow and she hooked her arm through it. Straightening her spine, she let her father lead her out of the room.

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My Masterlist

The Exophilia Creator’s Masterlist

[fatrainbowmermaidunicorn]

Photographs (Jimin x You ONESHOT)

A/N: So... Jimin's birthday is coming up so I'm gonna try do more Jimin's fic. Hahaha. and im sorry if the angst is rally not quite up there :(

MASTERLIST 

"I cant believe I'm late again!" Jimin grumbled. "And they didnt even bother to wake me up! What a bunch of useless hyungs!" Jimin ran to the venue the moment the tinted window van dropped him off. For the millionth time, Park Jimin is late to his own concert again. And he is extremely late this time. The front entrance is already crowded with fans and Jimin pulled his mask and hoodie tighter to cover his face. He will be dead if the fans found out he is here, right behind them, at his own concert. Even if he survived them, Namjoon and management will surely kill him after.

As he safely managed to reached the backdoor a girl wearing all black, black cap, black hoodie, black jeans, black everything and shielding her face knocks into him. Before he can say anything she grabbed his hand in panic and pushed him inside the door, making Jimin stumbled in. She then closed the door with a bang in a hurry and leans her back on the door, blocking it from anyone else who might want to try to open it. Jimin was shocked. What is going on? Is she a crazy fan? Is he being kidnapped right now? Should he scream for help?

"Sorry I had to do that. The security is just right there at the corner. He might have seen us. Are you sneaking in too?" She looks at him curiously.

Sneaking in?

Jimin finally take a good look at the girl who finally pushed down her hoodie and mask, revealing her face. Shes wearing black everything. Is she actually really sneaking in into his concert? And she thinks he is sneaking in too? Does this happen a lot at all his concert before? Is this like a thing right now?

Still, despite all his confusion, Jimin cant help but to notice that shes very beautiful, making him stare at her in awe for a moment.

"Are you telling me that you are sneaking in?" He finally find his vpice and asks her.

"Uh yeah. Arent you?" She eyed him skeptically. "If you arent, then what are you doing back there?"

"I-uh yeah. I sneaked in," Jimin quickly agreed. Its better than saying who he actually is and why he is dpinf back here right now.

The girl smiles in relieved. "I knew there must be someone else who will be doing this," she laughs. "Their ticket prices is ridiculous. Who has that kind of money just to watch them sing anyway? Do you like them?" She looks at him curious.

"Y-Yeah. I do. I guess?" How is he supposed to answer that? "But from the sound of it, it seems like you dont? Why are you even here?"

"To be honest. I dont know them. But I heard they are big though,"

Oh, she doesnt know who we are. No wonder she didnt recognized me.

Jimin slowly opens up his disguise and the girl didnt even bat an eye at him, which intrigues him to no end. She might not know who he is, bit his looks will usually make any girl look twice, but apparently no this girl. "I'm Jimin. Park Jimin," he looks at her face for a reaction as he said his name, but nothing. "Whats your name?"

"I'm Y/N," she takes his hand and Jimin felt electricity in their touch. His phone is buzzing, most probably from his band mates,asking him where he is, but he doesnt want this moment to end right now. He wants to know this Y/N more. There is just something about her that attracts Jimin very strongly.

"If you dont mind me asking, if you dont know them at all, then why are you even here? And even sneaking in just to see them?"

"I need to see who they are for work purposes," that is all the explanation she gave Jimin and even though he is curious, he didnt get to ask more when one of his manager appeared.

"Park Jimin! You are late!" He yells from the corner of the hallway.

"I'm sorry hyung, I'm coming now!" Jimin takes a glance at Y/N who is panicking and trying to hide.

"And whos that?" He eyed Y/N who is still panicking, now standing still like a statue besides him.

"Uh m-my friend. I let her in with me," Jimin came out with an excuse fast and the manager nodded, walking away, motioning for Jimin to follow him. Jimin looks back at Y/N who was confused with the whole exchange. "I-I have to go. I'm sorry but I hope I will see you again," he looks at her hopeful. "Can I? Please?"

Y/N looks at him with suspicion in her eyes. "Wait! Dont go yet! Who are you? W-why does that man knows you? And why arent you in trouble for sneaking in?"

"I dont have time to explain. Here," he plucked her phone from her hands and quickly keyed in his number, making sure to call his phone for her number. "Stick around to watch the concert and you will know the answer to your question," Jimin winks and rans off, leaving Y/N dumbfounded.

Y/N gathered herself and managed to sneaked into the concert hall, and once the band is introduced, she finally knows what that strange Park Jimin meant. Oh, she found out alright. She found out exactly who he is.

Park Jimin of BTS.

A member of the band shes supposed to work with starting tomorrow.

Oh how shes screwed.

/////

Struggling for years trying to find a job as a photographer, Y/N is finally offered a job from her friend. A boy band is launching a new campaign and they need a new photographer. Overjoyed with the chance of finally earning some money and being able to eat something else other than just instant noodles for months, she said yes immediately, only realizing too late that she dont even know who the band is. So when it was mentioned that the band is holding a concert somewhere close, Y/N decided to sneaked in and take a glimpse, there is no way she can afford to buy their ticket anyway. How would she know that the band member himself would be sneaking around at the backdoor just a few minutes before the show?

Watching the concert, Y/N finally realizes why the band is so well known and why their too expensive tickets are often sold out. She watches in awe as they inyeract with their fans, laughing, singing and dancing. Their talent is amazing and its very fascinating to her.

She also knows that she can definitely say goodbye to her job if that Park Jimin ever opens his mouth.

And as she saw he flashed his sweet, innocent smile on stage, she really hopes he doesnt.

/////

"I heard we have a new photographer for this comeback. She will cover everything, from our campaign, concept shoots, concerts, behind the scene of music vudeos, fan meets, everything!" Jin suddenly said as they entered the company building. "And I heard its a young girl,"

"Really?" Taehyung 's ears perked up. "I hope its not one of those crazy fans again. Its hard to work with someone who fan girls over us more than she does working. I mean I appreciate the attention but work is work you know. The last one scares Kookie to death with her obsession," Taehyung laughs, remembering the incident.

"Yah! I was not scared!" Jungkook pouts.

"Oh come on. You make a fuss every single time and locked yourself in the room, not wanting to go to any photoshoots or even practice if shes around. You call that not being scared?" Taehyung laughs out loud at the memory.

"Shut up hyung!"

It has been an unspoken rule for quite some time in their company, to not hire young unmarried females as staff for their band. This rule is made after multiple incident where the staff turns out to be a crazy fan who applied for the job in order to be close to the boys. Their popularity is increasing and the level their fans are willing to go to get closer to them are sometimes beyond their imagination. So when Jin said their photographer is a young girl, all of them are intrigued. Who is this girl who passes the interview with their management?

"Ow! What the hell?! Dont you have eyes!" A voice screeched as she falls on the floor, hard.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didnt look where I was going," Jimin who was absorbed with the conversation bumped into one of the staff. Atleast he hope it is a staff. He hold out a hand to help her up and the girl took it.

"Y-Y/N?"

Y/N was shocked and wide eyed. She knows the boys must be lurkimg somewhere in the building. Its their work place after all, but she didnt expect to meet the boys this soon. She thought she would have more time to think of what to say to this Park Jimin. She also definitely did not think she would meet them in this situation either, sprawled on the floor.

"Why didnt you answer any of my calls and text?" Was the first question that comes out from Jimin's mouth, making the rest of the boys look at each other. Jimin is texting with a girl? How come they dont know about it? "A-and what are you doing here?"

"I-uh-" Y/N didnt get to answer when one of the staff members came up  behind her and answer instead.

"Oh boys. You have met each other then. This is Y/N, your new photographer for this comeback,"

Upon hearing that, Jimin cant help but to give her a huge smile. All those weeks he has been ignored, not a single reply to his texts and calls and now, she has no where to run. Jimin smirked at her restless expression. She can ignore him all she wants, but Jimin has made it his life mission, that no matter what, Jimin will make sure he will get to know her better.

/////

"Hey, wait up!" Jimin jogged slowly towards her once he saw her rushed out from the meeting room once it was adjourned. "Where are you going in sucb a rush? We dont have a shoot today,"

Y/N rolled her eyes.

"My life doesnt only revolves around you and your team members Park Jimin," she scoffed and keeps walking.

"You know, as much as its nice to hear you say my full name, I think I will like it better if you call me Chim or maybe Chimchim. Preferably oppa if you want," he pushed his hair back and winks at her. There was never a girl who was able to resist his charms when he does that, but Y/N just look at him with a weirded and bored expression.

"First of all no thank you. Jimin is fine. And second of all, whats wrong with you? Is something wrong with you eye? Do you have a sty or something?" She looks at him weirdly. Jimin felt embarassed and taken aback. That was a respond he never expect he will get from a girl before.

"Uh n-no. I'm perfectly fine," he straightened himself, all self confidence went out the window. "But really, where are you going?"

Y/N sighed. "Not that its any of your business, but if you really must know, I'm going to go and have something to eat,"

"Really? Can I come with you? I have nothing to do right now anyway," Jimin's eyes sparkles in excitement. "I- uh I mean, we are somewhat friends right? Sneaking in friends?" He smirks, knowing theres no way she will say no if he blackmails her like this.

"Uh fine! But I dont think its somewhere you idols would go," she stalked off and Jimin ran after her, nit caring where she is headed. All he kmows is he needs to come with her.

Out of all the places, Y/N took Jimin to a convenience store. Where she took two cups of instant noodles and sat at the seats provided. Jimin took a seat beside her and stare at her.

"Is that all you are eating? For dinner?" He eyed the cup noodles and can coffee in front of her.

"Breakfast, lunch, dinner and supper maybe?" She giggles and stir her now already cooked noodle.

"What?!" Jimin was surprised. "You havent eaten all day?"

"Well Mr Idol, not everyone can afford a fancy meal for every time shes hungry. I'm thankful enough for being able to buy two packets right now," she turns to look at Jimin, her face turns serious. "And because of that, I want to thank you for not telling on me. About the sneaking in thing I mean. I could have lose my job if you did. And as you can clearly see here, I reaaally need that job. So thanks," Y/N smile and turn back to her noodle, slurping and inhaling it like she is just sitting with an old friend. As if Jimin is not an attractive man that is sought after by million of girls all over the world. Like Jimin is not someone well known. Like Jimin is not an idol.

And somehow, Jimin likes that feeling. That feeling of being treated like a normal human being.

He likes it so much. He loves it.

/////

They finally figured out why Y/N gets the job. Unlike any other girls her age, Y/N never showed any sign of interest in any of them. She did her job professionally, and to be honest, for someone with not much experience, she is extremely good at what she is doing. She finished all their shoots on time, sometimes even with extra time to spare, she means business, she doesnt flirt around and she knows what she wants from them and how to get it. The boys like her. She has become their favorite staff to work with, and Jimin... well, Jimin is getting attracted to her more than ever.

His insane attraction to her makes him crazy because she never gives him any extra attention outside of their shoot. The kind of attention that he craves. Replying to his calls and texts? That definitely didnt happen either. She gives him a polite smile, a hello and goodbye here and there like a colleague should, and that was it. Jimin wants more. He needs more. He wants her laughter. He wants to hear her talking and joking about stupid things. He wants her telling him about what she ate yesterday, about ehats happening is her life. Just like he always saw her do with the other staff. If she can do that with them, why cant she do it with him?

How is he different from the other staff? He is a colleague too, isnt he not?

Jimin starts to double up his effort in trying to get her attention after feeling frustrated by her lack of attention towards him. If the only time Y/N will even look at him is during his shoots that he will make sure she will really looks at him. Jimin made sure he looks the best. He made sure he gets the best outfits and costumes during the shoots. The one that makes all his features stands out. He made sure his make up is impeccable and every strand of his hair is in place. He made sure to give a more flirtatious pose, winking, smiling, trying his best to show her his charms. There are even a tine or two where he "accidentally" flipped his shirt on purpose but Y/N didnt bat an eye. Instead the photos came out great and the fans are the one who goes crazy instead. Jimin has given his all, subtle and obvious hints about his feelings, but all he ever received from her are "good work" and "more please", the same comment given to the other members.

Desperate to find a way to get Y/N to notice him, he shamelessly invites himself to walk her home every day, eat lunch with her during her break and sometimes even invites himself to her weekend activity.  He would follow her to do her grocery shopping, the bookstore, the park, the movies, everywhere, where he learn all the little traits about her. Little traits that makes her seems more interesting than ever to him. Although she resists and tried to stay away from him at first, as time passes by, Y/N gets used to his presence and Jimin managed to somehow be friends with Y/N and every little thing she do fascinates him even more.

Y/N is just... simple. But perfect in every way Jimin could have possibly think of. She is his dream girl, something he never even thought before. But if people were to ask him what would his dream girl be like, its Y/N.

He is sure of it.

Shes beautiful. Thats a fact. Everybody with a working eye can agree to that. But what attracts Jimin more than her beauty is who she is. He loves seeing how passionate she is when shes working. How she bite her lips when shes trying to get the best shot, how serious she looks when shes giving art directions to the crew and coming up with a plan for a perfect photoshoot. Jimin loves the way shes friendly and nice to everyone, never looking down or worshipping someone solely because of their status. She is humble, modest and pure and Jimin loves that the most about her. By spending time with her,eventhough he self invites himself most of the time, Y/N taught ans remind him again about many things that he has forgotten ever since fame took over his life. He forgot how delicious the street food at the corner stall taste like, since all they do is order takeout and eat at restaurants, he forgot what it feels like to go watch a late night movie with hundreds other people crammed in the same cinema, he forgot the thrill of being at the common section and jumping along with the crowds at a concert instead of being in a secluded private VIP booth, swirling their drink. He forgot how free it is to just talk to someone about anything that comes to mind, without being afraid that he will be jjdged or it wont fit his celebrity status  He forgot a lot of things, the simple things, but Y/N reminds him about all that all over again.

Jimin is losing his mind. The more he gets to know her, the more he feels, no he knows he is falling in love with her. He has never met a girl like her and it still make him wonder everyday how could such a simple girl like her makes him fall head over heels like a fool. He cant stop himself from smiling whenever he looks at her and his mood will be better immediately whenever Y/N is around and plummeted the moment shes gone. He wants her all to himself, to be his, to not touch some other guy's arm when shes laughing or go out for lunch with the male crew members. Jimin wants her attention to be only on him, for him. He wants her to want him.

And hes going to make sure she will.

"Date me," Jimin looks at her from across the table as she slurped her noodles, again, like he is nobody special, not feeling shy or pretending to be a girly girl like most girls do when they are with him.

"Huh, what?" Y/N looks at him funny, wiping her the stain around her mouth fomrom the soup. Jimin leans over and used his thumb to wipe a spot she missed, casually stroking her lips, her beautiful plump lips along the way, smiling. Urgh, how he would give everything to feel those lips on his right now.

"Date me. Be my girlfriend. Please?" He smiles at her, cocking his head to the side, hoping his cuteness could finally charm her.

"Are you serious right now Jimin?" Y/N eyed him, letting out a nervous laugh.

"Dead serious. Do I look like I'm laughing right now Y/N?" He cocked his head at look straight into her eyes.

"Where is this even coming from? Why so sudden? Do you need my help to make someone jealous or something?" She looks at him. The seriousness in her eyes makes him irritated. How can she thinks he is using her to make someone jealous? He is not that petty!

"Sudden?! Are you telling me you dont know how I feel about you all this time? I thought I had made myself pretty clear," Jimin huffed, not backing down from her stare, making Y/N look away. "I'm serious right now Y/N. Date me. Be my girl, and I will be your man. Only yours, I promise,"

"You can say you are serious all you want. I'm still ignoring that," she averted her eyes from him and continue to eat.

"Why? Date me. At least try! Give me a chance! I promise I will make you fall in love with me too," Jimin is almost begging. How can she be rejecting him so nonchalantly? Like all of this is a joke?

"In love with you?! Too?! Wait. Are you saying you are in love with me?" Y/N looked up from her noodle and look at his face, shocked and surprised.

"Yes. Isnt that obvious?" Jimin rolled his eyes. "Everyone with eyes can see how in love I am with you L/N Y/N!"

"No. Thats not obvious at all! Stop joking around Jimin!" Y/N is freaking out. What is Park Jimin doing right now?

"I'm not joking! Why wont you believe me? Date me Y/N. Be my girlfriend and I promise I will love you and cherish you and make you happy forever," Jimin reached out to across the table and take her hand, carressing it softly. He has been wanting to touch her for so long, and now that he does, her skin feels just as soft as he had imagined.

"No! And stop being weird!" Y/N pulled back her hands and stood up, ready to walk out. Jimin pull her back.

"I'm serious and I'm not joking. And I will make sure you will fall in love with me too Y/N," he winks before releasing her hand, and Y/N ran out from the break room, far away from Jimin as she could go.

/////

"You were referred to us by someone we highly respected, so it is safe to assumed that you are a professional and is able to deliver the job?"

"Y-Yes sir," Y/N nodded as all eyes in the room looks at her, judging her from head to toe.

"But you are quite young..."

"No! I might be young Sir, but I can promise you that I will do a great job in making this campaign a reality. You have seen my portfolio before and I am very professional," Y/N tries to convinced the people in the room. Its true, shes young. Only 21 years old and without a proper qualification too. But thats only because she cant afford to continue her studies but she swear she has the talent and she really really need this job.

"Thats not the issue. Its more because young girls who work here usually will, what do you say, fawn over the boys and we dont want that," the lady who said it looks at her with a serious face.

"I-I wont do that. To be honest Ma'am, I am not their fan. I dont really know who they are and I promise you that I take my job very very seriously. You dont have to worry about me fangirling or giving them trouble,"

"Alright. We will give you a chance. Your work looks amazing too. But one word regarding any relationship between you and the boys and we have to let you go. Okay? We dont need another crazy fan around here," the highest ranking man in there said and the rest laugh while Y/N nodded politely before walking out. A job secured in her hand.

She never thought it would be a problem. Her job is too precious for her to risk for silly things like a crush. A crush. Thats all she thought it coukd be. If it ever could be between her and the boys. She thought a relationship is most probably unlikely to happen since there is no way an idol group member as big as they were would show even the slightest interest in a simple girl like her. This is not a fairy tale. This is real life and things like that dont happen to her in real life.

But whats happening now?

What is Park Jimin doing?

What is he even thinking?

There is no way he is in love with her. He must be playing. Isnt that what celebrities do? There is no such thing as love. He is just playing and his obsession will be gone in a matter of time. Y/N is sure of it. Jimin is just playing. He must be.

/////

True to his word, Jimin is relentless in his effort to get Y/N to date him. He follows her around, getting more shameless in his flirting, openly calling her his girl, winking and smirking, texting her every chance he gets, asking where she is, if she has eaten, who she is with, getting jealous for absolutely no reason at all, asking whats shes doing and of course, asking her everyday without miss if shes ready to be his girlfriend yet.

Y/N tried to ignore every little effort Jimin puts in but it has been weeks, almost months, but Jimin doesnt seem to know the meaning of giving up. In fact, he is becoming more shameless and flirtatious.

"Seriously Y/N, just date me already! We are already practically dating!" Jimin walks beside her as she makes her way home, walking back after work, and like its a normal routine for him,Jimin walks besides her.

"We are not practically dating! We are not practically anything!" Y/N huffed and picks up the pace but Jimin grabbed her hands and held it tight, smiling at her.

"Not so fast baby. Its rude to leave your boyfriend behind ya know," he walks along her, swinging their interlaced hands together, as if they are one happy couple.

"You are not my boyfriend! And I am definitely not your baby!" Y/N hissed but it didnt affect Jimin at all.

"You will soon be,"

"Thats not going to happen! Why arent you getting this through your head?! Jimin, we cant be together!" Y/N yelled and stops walking, feeling frustrated as hell. Jimin finally turns and looks at her with a serious face, hands still clasped tightly with hers.

"Finally. Now you are talking to me," he said softly, eyes boring into her soul. "Y/N, I've been trying for months to try to get your attention, to get you to notice me, talk to me, anything. You are always ignoring me and you never told me why or explain your reasons. And today, for the first time ever, I finally heard you say we cant be together. You didnt say you dont like me, or you dont love me, or you hate me, but you said we cant be together," he peered into her eyes, softly looking at her. "Y/N talk to me. Make me understand. Why? Why are you saying we cant be together when all I do everyday is trying to make you see that we can and we will?"

"I-uh," Y/N realized she has screwed up when he screamed out those words. She was trying so hard to keep the reason a secret from Jimin. She was too frustrated with her own jumbled up feelings, and Jimin doing what he is doing to get her to love him is definitely not helping much either.

"Please. Tell me. I will make it right," Jimin's voice is so soft, Y/N feels like she can spill everything she is feeling to him right then and there. "Y/N... do you love me? Or at least like me?"

Y/N is speechless. He has been chasing her for months. Constantly saying that she will love him back and confessed his feelings. Those are something he said everyday to her, but never once he asked her if she loves him before.

"Y/N... do you?"

"I-I do..." Y/N finally answered after a long moment of hesitation. "I do love you Jimin. I dont want to, but I do..." And thats the truth. Along the way, she herself has fallen head over heels for Park Jimin, but who is she kidding? Who is she to even think about being with him? They will never be, no matter how much he keeps telling her that he loves her.

Jimin felt like his soul has left his body. He cant believe those words finally comes out from Y/N's mouth. His dream girl. The only girl he ever wants, loves him back. There is nothing going to stop him to get her now.

"T-then why? Why do you say we cant be together Y/N? Why? I love you and you love me. What more do you need?" Jimin reached out for her hand and tilt his head to the side, waiting for her answer.

"Its not that simple Jimin.." Y/N sighed and closes his eyes. Someone like Jimin will never understand. He is used to getting what he wants. No one ever say no to him. Could he even understand what heart break is? How can she explained the whole to him?

"Then make it simple for me. Make me understand why you think we cant be together?"

"Its because I am me. And you are you. You are Park Jimin. Is that simple enough to understand?" Y/N raised her eyes to meet his, hoping he gets what she means, but of course he didnt as he look back with confusion clear in his eyes.

"I'm reaaally not understanding what you are getting at Y/N. You being you is what makes me falls in love with you in the first place. You are simple, weird, honest and humble. You say whatever you are thinking. You are beautiful inside out, kind, soft, respectful. You are everything I want in a girl. You being you only means perfection Y/N," Jimin reason to her with wide eyes.

"You dont get it," she sighed. "Thats exactly it. I'm me. I'm Y/N. I'm simple Jimin. I wake up, I go to work and I go home. I tried to make as much money as I can just so I could finally eat a decent meal three times a day. If I'm lucky, maybe I could save enough to actually apply for college. I dont wear make up when I go out, I dont care how I look. I dont care what other people thinks of me. I dont need to. I dont meet new people everyday. Important people too. I dont have a thousand pair of eyes watching me, looking at my every move. Thinking I'm perfect, worshipping the ground that I walked on. I dont have any other talent other than eating six cup of noodles in one go, I live a simple boring life Jimin,and its everything yours is not. How can we even compare?"

"What are you trying to say?" Jimin's face is already changing. Into what, Y/N cant really understand.

"What I'm saying is... you are Park Jimin. BTS' Park Jimin. Worldwide favorite's mochi. Heart breaker. Loved by many. Adored and worshipped by millions. All eyes are on you. Jimin, someone like me dont deserve to be with someone like BTS' Park Jimin. Do you get it now?"

"So I'm BTS' Park Jimin?" Jimin's face is etched with anger, an emotion Y/N didnt expect. "Is that all you see me as? An idol? A member of the worldwide famous group BTS? Is that all you think I'm good for? Singing and dancing on stage?!"

"N-No Jimin. Thats not what I'm trying to say!" Y/N panics. Jimin has got it all wrong!

"I thought you were different Y/N. I thought you, of all people would see me for me. See right through those facade I put up for the public. That you will see how I really am beneath all that. That is the main reason why I even fall in love with you! But if all you see me as is BTS' Park Jimin, then I was definitely wrong about you. You are just the same. Just like all the others.  Seeing me as nothing more than an eye candy who entertain people on stage. Do you even really love me?!" Jimin's chest heaved up and down in anger. "You said BTS' Park Jimin is too good for you, and since him is all I ever will be in your eyes, then I will show you how too good for you I really am!" Jimin sent her the coldest glare and before she could say anything to defend herself or to calm him down, Jimin had stalked off, not taking even a single glanced back.

Y/N was left standing there in shocked. What in the world just happened? That is nor what shes trying to tell him at all! In the process of breaking Jimin's heart, her own heart is broken too pieces too.

/////

Jimin is no longer the same sweet fluffy Jimin she knew after that incident. There is no more friendly hellos and greetings, no more warm smile and happy laughter from him. Jimin came in, do his part in the shoot or anything else he needs to do and leave. No more trying to walk her home, no more sitting besides her, flashing his smiling face and talking about his day while she slurped on her noodles. The cold and obnixious way he even looks at her makes her feel small. He finally shows that he is a celebrity and Y/N is just one of the crew working hard under contract to make him look even more better to the public. Y/N sighed as she picks up her things as the photoshoot for the day ended. Maybe its better this way. Maybe now it would be easier for her to actually forget about him and is able to stop smiling to herself at night whenever she thought about him. Maybe now she can go back to focus solely on her work, no more need to pretend like shes not affected with Jimin's charm all day.

Maybe.

"Uh Y/N?" An intern rushed over to her, lookong nervous and scared.

"Yes?"

"Mr Bang wants to see you now. Its urgent and he is very unhappy,"

"W-What? Uh okay," Y/N quickly finished up packing and rushed to the main office. She didnt think she screwed up on any of the job. All of the photos came out perfect. Amazing in fact. Everybody seems to like it. What could have possibly goes wrong?

With heavy steps she enters the office, and meet the blazing eyes of the PD, and she knows her fate is sealed.

/////

"Jimin! I need to talk to you. Please?" Y/N waited for him in front of the company for hours and he finally came out from the building after hours of dance practice. Although his heart skipped a beat to hear her voice calling out his name again, his ego and pride took over and he looked the other way, slipping on his dark sunglasses and face mask, ignoring her

"Jimin, please. I need to tell you something. I might not be able to see you again if I dont tell you now!" She grabbed his hand and Jimin turns around, oushing his sunglasses uo to his head and looking at her coldly. He shakes his arm off from her grip.

"I'm sorry, but I dont think you are simply allowed to hold my hand like this. Dont you know who I am?" He eyed her hands and Y/N immediately take a step back, shocked by his coldness.

"Jimin... please..." Y/N is begging. Almost crying. She knows he is only pretending. This is not who he is. He was never cold or unfriendly. Not to anyone. He is not that kind of a celebrity. He never was.

"Sorry. I'm busy. A lot of things to do, and like you said, a lot of important people to see too," he scoffed and walked off. Y/N just stood there, tears that she had try so hard to hide finally makes it way down, truly realizing and accepting the fact that maybe, she and Jimin were really never meant to be after all.

Goodbye Park Jimin. Its nice knowing you while it lasted.

/////

The boys had a break for a week before they have another shoot. Although he doesnt want to admit it, Jimin still feels excited and giddy everytime there is a shoot because it still means he gets to see Y/N, although all he does is gives her angry glares and cold shoulders. His heart still hurt from what she said that day. He never expected her to see him that way. The way she acts around him, making his heart feel... How could she, of all people see him as Park Jimin, the idol? The celebrity?

Talking to the others about it makes him realized that maybe Y/N has a point. They were right. Y/N is just a simple girl, who is struggling to even find a job and enough money to eat daily where he wears Gucci on the daily. Jimin should have given her time to process his confession. Given her time to realize that what he feels for her are real feelings, not just some silly crush. That he really loves her for real, not just attracted to her because shes a challenge. Of course Y/N would be scared. Stories about how being together and breaking up in a matter of weeks are normal for celebrities like him. In fact, Jimin should have been happy. Other girls would have jump in excitement and accepted him right away. Not wasting the opportunity to date a celebrity but Y/N didnt. That just shows that she really does loves him for real. That is why she is cautious and scared. Scared that he will break her heart  He should have understand. Jimin should have convinced her of his feelings, not lashed out.

"Hello," a male stands behind the camera, smiling at them and bow as they enter the studio, ready to give directions and start the shoot, puzzling the boys.

"H-hello. Are you our photographer?" Jimin bowed back and looks around the studio.

"Yes I am. Now if you will go and get into hair and makeup, we will get started soon," he smile and start to fiddle with his camera, adjusting what is needed with the rest of the crew.

Just like Jimin, the boys are confused too. Where is Y/N? They like her. They like how she works, they like the vibe she gave out while they are working and she always makes them comfortable while shooting.

"I'll go ask around," Namjoon volunteered upon looking at Jimin's restless face, as he had finished his hair and make up first, and Jimin nods, his mind spinning.  Is this what Y/N meant when she said she might not be able to see him ever again? Oh why did he ignored her? She had warned him. Now what is he supposed to do? Even after everything, Jimin's feelings for her didnt change. In fact, it grows. He loves her even more as he thinks about what happened and he misses her. He miss her a lot.

"Uh Jimin?" Namjoon came back, rushing to his side.

"Hyung! Did you find out where Y/N went?" Jimin turns from the mirror and stare at his hyung. Namjoon's reaction does not look good.

"Kinda... but I dont think you will like the answer Chim,"

"Why?" Jimin panics and stood up to stand closer to Namjoon. "Is she okay? What happened to her?"

"Shes uh fired,"

"What?! Why?! She did a good job with our shoots! Why would she even be fired?! Did they tell you why hyung?" Jimin rans his hand over his hair, worried and helpless. Not knowing what to do. He knows how much this job means to Y/N. How much she needed it. What would it meant for her now that she lost it?

"You will hate the reason more Chim..."

"Just tell me hyung!"

"Shes fired because the company thinks she is one of the crazy fans chasing after you. She was fired for your own safety Jimin,"

"What the- what do you mean?! She dont even want to be my girlfriend! You know this!" Jimin raised his voice in panic.

"I do know that. We all do Jimin, but they dont. Especially not after this video leaked out," Namjoon shoved his phone for Jimin to see. It was a recording of their conversation on the streets. When Jimin confesses to her. A fan must have took and recorded the whole thing.

"I was confessing to her! How does that makes her a crazy fan?!" He took one look at the video and back to his hyung.

"Watch the video first Jimin!" Namjoon warned him and Jimin kept quiet, watching the video till the end. Jimin realized that the video is not what he thinks it is at all. Its a scene from their conversation, yes. But it was chopped, cut and edited and it was made to look as if Y/N was begging him and Jimin was trying to stay away from her.

"Hyung! This is not it at all!" Jimin was mortified. "I was the one who was confessing to her!" Will Y/N be okay? Her face is shown quite clearly in the video. His fans will surely attacks her. And now shes even fired because of it? Urghhh no wonder she didnt want anything to do with him. Dating an idol, a celebrity never brings any good for anyone. Especially someone so simple, pure and innocent like Y/N. She deserves bettter.  Its not him who is too good for her. It never was. Its the other way around. Jimin doesnt deserves her at all.

"I know that Jimin. But what can we do about it?" Namjoon looks at him sadly. "Lets just all hope that she will be okay... okay Chim? And lets talk to management for a way to delete this video and offer a clear explanation. Thats the only thing we can do for now,"

/////

Jimin dragged his feet to practice that day. Feeling lost and lifeless. He spent all weekend trying to get a hold of Y/N but failed. The only thing he can do now is hope and pray that Y/N is okay. Jimin had told management the truth, and although they are not happy, the band is not under a dating ban, so Jimin is free to date anyone, as long as he is not involves with a crazy fan. Jimin prays hard that wherever Y/N is, she is okay. That she isnt crying. Thats shes happy and forgotten about a useless prick like him. Its hard for him to let her go, Jimin still loves her very much. But he rather be in pain and let her be happy than the other way around. That is how much he loves her.

"Why is it dark? Where are the others?" Jimin wondered out loud as he enters the dancing studio. The other members has left earlier, its something normal for them to do because Jimin is always late. But where are they? Is practiced cancelled and they didnt inform him? Did they went out to eat and left him? Again?! Shrugging and figured that he would just wait for them for a little while before leaving, he enters and flicked the light switch on.

Jimin was taken by surprise when all four walls of the studio is littered with photographs. Photos of him. In every sitiation he cant even imagined. And standing in the middle of the room is Y/N, looking sadly at him.

"Y/N!" Jimin wants to run to her. To held her tight in his arms and never let her go again. He wants to kiss away all her pain and her tears. He wants to see her smile again. Hear her laughter again. He is so happy to see her standing there he feels as if he is dreaming.

"Wait Jimin," Y/N said before he could say anything, his smile dissappearing at once at her tone.  "I know you hate me and dont want to see me-"

"What?! Y/N, I-"

"Just let me finish. Please," Y/N looks at him with such sad eyes that Jimin obliged. His heart hurt so much to see the only girl who has managed to own his heart looks so sad. Its okay. He will listen. And then he will tell her that he doesnt hate her. He loves her. He loves her very much and he will do anything to make it right again.

"Jimin... I'm sorry if what I said the other day hurts your feelings. Maybe it came out wrong, I dont know..." she looks down before raising her eyes again. "But thats not what I meant. What I meant is, BTS' Park Jimin is a part of you, and it will always be. And I know that. And I didnt mean it as a bad thing. Never..." she explained sadly. "Jimin-ah, these here are photos of you that I have taken," she motioned to the room and Jimin looks around. "These are photos of you that I have taken during all your shoots and fan meets. Concerts and recordings," Y/N explained softly. Jimin grazed his hand on the photographs that lined the walls. They are all photos of him in his best suits and outfits, hair and makeup ready to perfection. Smiling, smirking, waving, winking and flirting with the fans and the cameras. Jimin looks back up at Y/N. What is she trying to say? Why is rubbing the fact that he is a celebrity even more to him? Where is she going with this? "And these are photos of you... in your private moments. Where you didnt know theres a camera. Where a part of you that you didnt want to show anyone is shown," she softly motioned to one side and looks down, afraid. Jimin feast his eyes on the photos. Each and every one of it captured him, so beautifully. There are photos of him before he did his makeup, yawning and looking sleepy as hell, there are some of him sweaty and tired from practice, sleeping in the break room, laughing with his hyungs, some of when he is playing around with the two maknaes, leaning back against a chair, looking bored, playing with his phone and so much more. He dont know when she managed to do this, but Y/N managed to capture who he really is in those photos and Jimin is amazed and in awed. "I'm sorry I took these without your permission. But sometimes you look so peaceful and happy, so at ease when you are just being yourself with the people that you trust that I just need to capture those moments," Jimin looks at her, waiting for further explanation. Why is she doing this?

"Jimin-ah... I didnt want to fall in love... I thought love would only distract me. That love wont bring anything good for me. I was too focus on trying to live that I forgot that love is a part of living too. I didnt want to fall in love, and I definitely didnt plan to fall in love with someone like you,"

"S-Someone like me?" Jimin looks down sadly and Y/N smile.

"Someone so perfect and amazing. Sometimes I even wonder if you could even be real. How can someone like you even exists? But you do. And you are so far out from my world that I was scared. I'm scared that if I fall too deep, and reality hits, the hurt would be unbearable and I would never recover,"

"But Y/N... I would never ever hurt you..." Jimin flickered his eyes to her.

"I know Jimin... and I should have known that. You are such an angel I dont think you are capable of hurting anyone. But still... I was scared. I used to think that loving you means loving only this part of you," she motioned to the photos of him posing and acting for the cameras. "And I cant handle that. I never thought that part of you would ever really like me for real. How could you? Especially with how I am. A nobody. Then I realized there is another part of you thats hidden. The softer side, the vulnerable side. The side that people who are lucky enough, people who you choose gets to see and I'm lucky to get this chance to actually see this moment, let alone captured it," she looks at his candid photos and smiles softly.

"I finally realized that these two sides makes who you are Park Jimin. You are not one or the other, you are everything both sides have to offer. And that Park Jimin is the one that makes me fall in love with him," she looks at him softly. "I'm sorry I said that you are only BTS' Park Jimin, thats not true. You are BTS' Park Jimin, but you are also more than that. You dont just sing and dance on stage Jimin, you make people happy with your smile, you share your talent with the world in hopes it could make their life feels better, you care about everyone and you love. You are so much more than just a celebrity Jimin. You are a lot of things. Things that I still dont understand, things that I wish I can get to know, to explore... and I really wish I didnt screwed it up and take the chance to spend my life figuring it out. But..." she smiles at him sadly, "you are right. You dont have to show me how much you are too good for me, I already know. So, this is my apology to you and doesnt matter if you acceot it or not, I just hope you will always remember that you are all of this," she motions to the photographs that littered the whole room. "I hope you will atleast accept my apology before I go. I'm sorry Jimin-ah and thankyou for your time. I'll get going now," she bend down to picked up and her things, bowed to him and start to walked out.

Jimin pulls her hand before she could exit and turns her around, making Y/N stumble into her chest. Jimin smile and hug her tight.

"Do you seriously think I would just let you go like that?" He laughs.

"What?" Y/N was confused but her voice is muffled by his chest as he keeps hugging her and stroking her hair.

"Y/N, baby, I have wanted you to be mine from that moment you ask me if I was sneaking in," he laughs. "I made a mistake Y/N. I should have understand where you were coming from," he pulls her back to look her in the eyes. He take her towards the pictures of him on stage and posing for the shoots at stare at it, "Looking at this... I would be scared too if I were you Y/N. You are going to be giving up a lot of things if you choose me, and I didnt think about that. You were not meant for this world," he points to the photos. "You are too innocent, beautiful, pure... being with me would have ruined you. I have already prove that by acting like an asshole since that day and with what my fans did to you after the video... well, it just proves that I'm right. You are just too good for my world baby. I finally have come to terms that you are right, I dont deserve you. But Y/N... you said so yourself, I am not only BTS' Park Jimin. These photos, these are what I showed the world. A facade I put up. And these," he points to the candid photos, "is who I really am. I am Park Jimin. Park Jimin who is head over heels in love with a normal, simple girl like you who had managed to shake up my world. Y/N, I need you. I need you to live, I need you to always reminds me who I am. That I am more than some piece of meat for girls to oogle at. That I'm mkre than just some entertaining clown. I need you to keep seeing through me like you did. To keep me grounded. To remind me of who I am. Of who I could be. Just like you did with these photographs," he plucked one of the photos of him laughing out loud at one of his hyungs.

"I need you Y/N. I love you. Pick me, choose me, love me, accept me, and I promise you that I will show you all of Park Jimin, the good, the bad, everything, because no matter which side it is, Park Jimin is just," he leans in closer, touching their foreheads together, "so," he nuzzle his nose wirh hers,"in," his lips grazed her and Y/N's breath hitched, "love with you, L/N Y/N," he closes the gap and his lips hungrily captured hers.

Y/N closes her eyes and lets Jimin kiss her, slowly easing in into the kiss, finally releasing all her feelings for him. Because right now she believes that, it doesnt matter how different she and Jimin is, just as long as he is Park Jimin and he loves her.

Because just like the photographs, Y/N loves every little thing about him.

And that is all that matters.

[pldubrahs]

anyway, this has been a While coming and now im back in new orleans so LOTS OF GUSHING ABOUT THE LIGHTNING THIEF MUSICAL, UNDER THE CUT

the ambiance of the theater, dim and filled with soft storm sounds

this show does really beautiful things with overlapping singing and w harmonys and its So low budget but still so good and the cast is small but amazing and literally everyone but chris is cast into several roles and its just amazing

if u dont wanna read this whole thing, just scroll down to the end for a Special Surprise

ACT 1

the Bitter, Angry, Sad music, ltm is truly the Emo Rock Musical we deserve

i seriously almost fell out of my chair when chris mccarrell came out. he honest to god was SUCH a good percy, so fidgety and all his expressions were ON POINT

“CHROOONOOOOOOOS”

ms dodds in General she was hilarious for the literal 3 minutes she was onstage

the pen to sword transformation is literally just: chris hides the pen and grabs the sword from somewhere else onstage. during my show, in the ms dodds fight scene, the sword was on the back of chirons wheelchair and it got stuck so he had to trip after the chair as chiron wheeled off and TUG it off to fight

DID I MENTION HOW MUCH I LOVED CHRIS MCCARRELL AND HOW AMAZING HIS VOICE WAS? BECAUSE I DO AND IT W A S

sally is a BLACK WOMAN 

just in general, this show was Amazing at raceblind casting

sally sprayed febreeze after smelly gabe, like he leaned to look in the fridge and she stood behind him spraying febreeze directly at him for like 30 seconds

“he was handsome and strong and before too long- you came!” percy was roasting marshmallows and looking out towards the audience and sally was rubbing up and down the sides of her body during this before “you came!” and it was v funny

Strong in general was Great bc WOW IM LOVE THE “NORMALCY IS A SOCIALLY CONSTRUCTED MYTH” MESSAGE

grover and percy meeting outside camp

“oh look a goat” “percy!”

“he met a furie” “youre all furry! what happened to your legs”

the v cute friendship bickering, overlapping voices thing that percy and grover v often did. this was the grover and percy friendship that we always needed

during the weird dream when he sees annabeth and hes like “gee whiz shes the most beautiful girl ive ever seen”

and then when he officially meets her after hes not out of it, he says “youre my dream girl!” and then backpedals and its great

ANOTHER TERRIBLE DAY. DEFFS ONE OF THE TOP FIVE SONGS. MR D IN GENERAL WAS JUST AMAZING, GEORGE SALAZAR ROCKED IT

he kicked the chair over so much and then there was a part after his camp halfblood intern thing left so his chair didnt get reset behind him and so he kicked into the air, got frustrated, and put the chair up himself

“of course, who am i to give relationship advice, im literally the god of alcohol”

“you can hate it here, but i HATED IT FIRST”

so so so many Soft sex jokes and bc im a Child i loved them 

chiron is just a guy galloping with a horse tail its the cutest thing and everyone laughed bc like imagine a kid galloping w their legs high and w/e, but on an adult and slow motion

“you’ll get used to mr d. he can be a bit... well, he hates children”

luke was Very attractive and ALSO he had a lot of chemistry w percy and w annabeth and i, who remembered shipping percy and luke back in my Youth, was Living

annabeth deffs had a crush on luke dont @ me

also luke was Softly bitter. like he sounded like a modern kid, bitter and upset but saying it in a joking way; totally makes sense that no one suspects that he’d do anything w chronos bc all the kids are upset and he doesnt get dark until the very end of the show

“are you ever going to wear pants again?” “Nope!”

luke: “havent you ever played capture the flag?” percy, excitedly: “not with swords!” *makes swooshy lightsaber noises* annabeth, suffering, full of regret: “It’s not a lightsaber.”

“sexist much?” “no, i love girls” [muffled luke and grover cackling in the background]

CLARISSE, LOVE OF MY LIFE! her song was so so good

im sure everyone has mentioned this but the LEAF BLOWERS BLOWING TOILET PAPER TO REPRESENT WATER LITERALLY CHANGED MY LIFE

the campfire song

percys Soft concern for annabeths story about running away “wait is that true”

grover starting to cry during his part

“my father is chronos.... remember my lecture, he ate his children””....... chiron wins”

APHRODITE'S DAUGHTER’S STORY “godess of love, my moms aphrodite... i bring home a boy and shes there in her nightie! oh nooooo” “she steals my mascara and all of my dates!” wonderful

percy sings nicely about his mother and everyones like “hes doing it wrong”

“we dont care where our parents may be, as long as you are here with me!” FRIENDSHIP MAKES ME EMO

“havent you noticed that there arent any other little sea godlings running around? any sons of hades or daughters of zeus? the big three gods arent supposed to have kids!” i loved this tiny easter egg i love my big three kids

“look at the boy, hes clearly not a thief!” “oh, yeah no yeah yeah yeah no no yeah yeah no yeah no, youre right! you cant fake being that stupid unless youre a brilliant actor, but im also the god of drama, so i can tell you HES NOT”

“his lightning?” “yeah, we're not talking some crummy tin foil zig zag from some off broadway play!”

GOOD KID IS EVEN BETTER LIVE THAN IT WAS ON THE RECORDING IT RUINED MY LIFE

Killer Quest! is an amazing end of act song and v upbeat and cute

“so where is the underworld actually” “look for doa records” “its a record company? actually, im not surprised”

ACT 2

WE’RE LOST IN THE WOODS SOMEWHERE IN NEW JERSEY AND WE’RE NEVER GONNA MAKE IT TO LA

“half bloods to monsters smell like mickey ds, like tacos or take out vietnamese”

“dude are you talking to the squirrel?” “satyr powers, be nice. this squirrel knows every corner of the woods, maybe he can help us” “really? because i think that seems kind of nuts” [silence] “you hurt his feelings. tell the squirrel youre sorry.”

medusa in general, what a Good scene

ensemble members shaking maracas to make snake noises for her

medusa cant say “nemesis”

“ive done everything to prove to the gods that im the best and you- i mean, you dont even know how to hold a sword” “yes i do!, yes... i do...” “no, hands here *adjusts percys grip*” “i didnt ask for any of this: gods, monsters, quests- oh, wow, that is a lot easier”

my grand plan is the most annabeth chase song ever and i love it its such a good look into her character and i love her so much

“when boys mess up they always get another chance”

“cause most girl never win if theyre polite”

THE COMMENTARY ON HOW WOMEN HAVE TO BE IN TODAYS SOCIETY IN ORDER TO BE TAKE SERIOUSLY HELL YEAH

“the gods will think we’re impertinent” “we are impertinent”

the squirrel gave them three amtrak tickets

DRIVE IS A COUNTRY SONG AND I FUCKING LOVE IT IM HONESTLY SHOOK

i hate country except for this One Song

ITS ONE FOOT FORWARD AT A TIME; DUST OFF ALL THAT GRIT AND GRIME; WE STILL GOT A LOT LEFT TO DOOOO, CAUSE PEOPLE ARE COUNTIN ON US AND IM COUNTIN ON YOU! DRIIIIIIIIVE JUST DRIIIIiiiiiiiiIIIIIIVE STAY AHEAD STAY AHEAD STAY ALIIIIIIIVE

“is that chihuahua?” “its a chimera!”

“maybe if you hadnt brought all those dam snacks” “uh it was the hoover dam and i was hungry!”

ares drives them to las vegas and when they get there he says “this is where i... get off” and its HILARIOUS i love lowkey sex jokes

gentle easter egg to bianca and nico re: may 1st 1939

“the oracle can can it ill save my mom and savE THE PLANET!” im love percy so much

tREE ON THE HILL IS ABOUT THALIA AND IT MADE ME CRY GOD WHAT A GOOD SONG and grover feels like a failure and annabeth is like “no u saved my life ur a good friend and a good guardian <3 friendship”

THE FERRYMAN TO THE UNDERWORLD FLIRTS WITH GROVER

“you wanna hear my demo?” “uh-” [loud music plays] “im sorry i couldnt hear you over this SWEET ASS RIFF”

YOURE IN THE D.O.A. AND YOURE HERE TO STAY YEAH YOURE STUCK FOREVER NEVER GET AWAY NO HOPE FOR SURVIVAL YOURE DEAD ON ARRIVAL

“oh! do you have any josh groban?” “we will.” I CACKLED

DJ CEBERUS W A COOL 3-HEADED DEADMAU5 ESQUE MASK

the ferryman also attacks them all like “youre not gonna save the planet, you wont protect your friends, you wont be remembered”

everyone says this but “i think this pit is tartarus” “LIKE THE FISH SAUCE?”

“why would chronus want my shoes?” “they were really cool shoes”

bitter, sad hades who just wants people to stop thinking that hes the bad guy and for his brothers to come visit him

“one does not simply walk out of the underworld”

W H A T  B E L O N G S  T O  T H E  S E A  C A N  A L W A Y S  R E T U R N

small reprise of good kid as he considers hades offer and then the melody cHANGES and percy realizes that the seashell, a gift from a god, can SAVE THEM and its beautiful because SON OF POSEIDON IS A GOOD SONG

“maybe my dad was a screwup too, his best laid plans always falling through... maybe he never knew how to care but hey, thats life, and life aint fair... but i think my dad mayve thrown me a line, and better late than never, ill finally get a sign!”

its a good song kids

the kids get to the oceans and they FIGHT ARES and ares and percy are both singing, percy singing The Son Of Poseidon chorus and ares singing Put You In Your Place and its b e a u t i f u l

THE TOILET PAPER THROW- basically they bring in like 6 leafblowers w toilet paper rolls attached and the first five rows get covered in toilet paper. as someone who was in the fifth row, it was amazing

poseidon comes in, they have a Heart To Heart, he brings sally back to life, he flirts with sally, its hilarious and awkward

“the gods are unfair but we’re not total dicks”

percys like “you dont have to stay w gabe anymore” and sallys like “smh boy u cant solve all my problems. you saved my life, now i have to figure out how to live it”

he gives her medusas head

“what is this” “its a... do it yourself scupture kit” “oh! *begins to open it*” “no no no its, um, medusas head”

“well, as my official protector, you can officially escort us back to camp” “and youre conscience this time!”

chiron is also cast as poseidon so like he runs into the camp scene after a quick change and says “i hoofed it here as quick as i could!” 

last day of summer happens and w/e its cute but whAT REALLY MATTERS IS LUKES BETRAYAL: okay so the music slows and goes into the minor key and percys like “we still dont know whos working w chronos :/” lukes like “yeah it sucks” and he starts singing about how he doesnt trust the gods and how the gods hate them and how they need to take over the world and put the gods in their place--he and percy do their handshake fist-to-the-chest thing and luke is serious and percy does it but hes v confused and it Hurts. this is the first time in the show that luke sounds just Bitter and Angry instead of jokingly deprecating and its quite the effect

THE DARK GOOD KID REPRISE 

“ill do anything, i dont care if i hurt anyone, it doesnt pay to be a good kid, a good kid, a good son" GOD IT HURTS luke has so much pain and i feel so bad for him like yeah hes evil but,,, hes had a hard life

annabeth comes in and DISARMS LUKE but PSYCH luke has a small switchblade and STABS PERCY IN THE BACK (bc they cant use scorpions onstage)

percybeth moment interrupted by clarisse’s loud coughing and grover

percys like “we cant just sit here and wait for our parents to fix things.”

“the gods will say we’re impertinent” “we are impertinent” goddamn that symmetry

“are we ever gonna once have it easy?” my poor poor kids

percy- “feeling ready” annabeth- “feeling stoked” grover- “feeling queasy”

THE SEA DOESNT LIKE TO BE RESTRAINED

bring on the monsters is just a Good song

also hey if you got to the end of this, congrats! i have a ltm audio and either in a message or in an off-anon ask and ill hook u up

[inadeepanddarkdecember]

[[ this is kinda rambly and piecemeal and out of order since its an edited convo off of discord from before cy’s heart got replaced, but i decided i wanted this Extra Large thalassemia infodump on my blog. go read this primer first for basic info on thal; cyrus’s form is beta thalassemia major. ]]

even with a perfectly healthy and functional heart, cy'd still have a too fast pulse and likely have arrhythmias; that comes with the territory of his anemia, and he could still develop heart failure again later in life. the problem with cy's current heart is that its been scarred to shit by the extra iron in his body from his blood transfusions and hes developed cardiomyopathy as a result, which at this point is virtually guaranteed to kill him before he turns 30, even if he takes perfect care of himself and never develops any other complications from his thalassemia ever (which aint fuckin likely). this failing heart just deals worse with arrhythmias he already has, especially under stress, and already struggles to keep up enough blood pressure.

bone marrow transplants are currently the closest thing to a cure for thalassemia we have and hellll no he has not had that done i doubt hes even on a waiting list. with his shit in the state hes in, its questionable if he'd even survive the process its pretty intense, nevermind the finances and healing and finding a match and even so much as qualifying to have it done.

cyrus goes in for a blood transfusion every three weeks. when transfusion dates get close, within a few days, hes more tired; he doesnt go out; he can be moodier; he can get headaches and dizzy spells. he feels best after a transfusion, then its just a slow decline till the date rolls around again. i tend to rp him within a week or two of being transfused most of the time simply bc its easier to get him out there interacting with people.

sometimes they coincide with transfusion dates, sometimes they don't, but he has longer appointments to check up on his other bodily functions every so often. theres general stuff, looking at his counts, then more specialized appointments to keep an eye specifically on his heart or check up on his liver and other organs as needed.

thalassemia by itself kills a person through not having enough blood to get oxygen around the body; this is solved through blood transfusions. chronic anemia means chronic transfusions. which would be fine! except chronic transfusions cause a build-up of iron in the body, and that shit is toxic and where the more fatal complications tend to stem from for thalassemia patients. also, being anemic means your body thinks it needs iron, so it's prone to absorb more from food than the average person, an added bonus. consequently, there are certain foods cyrus avoids. legumes, dark leafy greens, etc. look up any list of iron-rich foods, and thats a list of shit cyrus ought to be avoiding or indulging rarely. (funnily enough, these lists also are often advertised towards anemic people because those who arent transfused have the opposite problem.) part of his tea drinking habit is because tea inhibits iron absorption, along with he just likes it. coffee works too and he doesnt object to it, but he prefers tea.

another consequence of chronic transfusions is that you end up with a lot of old shitty dead blood cells in your system, and your spleen is left to clean it up. unfortunately, when faced with that much to clean, it can enlarge (splenomegaly) and become overactive (hypersplenism). so it starts removing healthy blood cells too quickly and too early, which can cause the anemic patient to need more blood when being transfused, which risks more iron, and not to mention its generally uncomfortable for the patient with the enlarged spleen. in short, this happened to cyrus, so his spleen has been removed. spleens, however, also play an important role in the immune system, so he was already kinda vulnerable as an anemic, but having no spleen makes him doubly at risk of infections. he takes antibiotics as part of his daily pharmaceutical regime.

during cold and flu season, docs tend to strongly suggest he wear surgical masks during school and whenever hes around a lot of people in public places, but he almost never does. he doesnt like the attention it gets him esp in school, but sometimes he'll do it when hes on public transit or anything. he does carry hand sanitizer with him a lot of the time tho

bc his immune system is fragile, he often goes in-patient for what would be minor sicknesses for us, esp if theres a fever. he tends to be hit hard by them, and being sick can make his counts plummet as his body tries to fight off the disease.

coming back around to iron related bullshit, iron overload is treated by iron chelation, for which there are mainly two medicines, deferoxamine and deferasirox, and cyrus uses the latter because i have never been able to find out enough goddamn information about deferoxamine. deferoxamine is the more common and cheaper of the two medicines; its injected subcutaneously over the course of 8-12 hours and has its own list of side effects and the process itself tends to be kinda painful from the accounts ive read. its done at home, often while the patient sleeps bc... well, when else are you gonna get a child to sit still for 8-12 hours. its definitely the one cyrus was on for a while, when he was younger. bc ive had a hellish time finding info on the pump used for deferoxamine and more about that medicine generally, cy’s currently on deferasirox. slightly different side effects, but otherwise does the same job in pill form.

thalassemia patients who've been cared for properly should be healthier than cyrus is. most patients his age havent had a heart attack already and arent dealing with heart failure, not yet. his parents have always struggled financially to keep up with his medical bills, but there was a time when he was still young that they still thought they could manage if they just worked hard enough. they were too proud to accept help, and he suffered for it. they eventually gave in but even then still struggled to keep up. sometimes a sudden unexpected change in insurance policy would fuck em for a while finanacially. so sometimes they'd not fill a perscription for a while or wait longer than they should to take him in-patient, hoping he might just tough out a cold or smth. sometimes he'd manage to do that and have abysmal blood counts next time he went in, and a couple of times he got so sick he was legit on death's doorstep by the time he got to the hospital and needed way longer to recover. sometimes cyrus would be too fussy about the deferoxamine and they didnt have the energy that night to force him to accept it or he'd turn off the machine himself after they left. not too often, he was pretty good about just accepting it and did most of the time, but it def happened more than a few times. and if it had already been activated, they couldnt reuse it and had to throw the dose out, in which case that was it he skips it no replacement they cant afford it not in the budget.

and because the effects of iron overload are long-term ones for the most part, it was easy to be like "ehh he seems fine for now". like, they knew the risks, but it was hard to see them as anything but so far in the distance as to be irrelevant. cyrus himself isnt great about the whole self-care thing either; his depression has helped nothing. he's been known to just flush or toss pills in a small spiteful act of rebellion, all his parents care about is that hes still alive and their money, and medicine's expensive, so wouldnt it just piss em off to throw it all away. he'll eat foods he shouldnt for similar reasons, along with just the pleasure of it. and sometimes he hits the sort of suicidal low where he just.... doesnt see the point. each dose he takes is a choice to keep living, and sometimes that choice isnt one he wants to make.

no one quite realized how bad he was tho till his first heart attack. he was so young; the docs dont rly know when hes skipping, so they werent watching too closely for the effects of it. and the damage his body took over time was amplified by his frequent stress. the heart and liver are the ones most affected by iron overload; his liver is somewhat damaged too, but thats not too bad yet, not as bad as his heart.

other little thal things: hormone levels can get super fucked. cy's puberty was a bit delayed, and his testosterone levels remain kinda low compared to average, so hes not as hairy as his genetics might otherwise dictate. he will never be able to grow a proper beard; it'll always be way too patchy and uneven. and despite what his touch aversion and other factors like stress and said low testosterone might lead you to believe, hes got a pretty strong sex drive, though he suppresses the hell out of it.

he was homeschooled for his first few years of elementary bc health concerns, but that couldnt be sustained bc of cost. so he rejoined public school since then. i wouldnt be surprised if his peers used his puberty delays against him, but i'd expect they were making fun of him less bc he was a late bloomer and more at his general girlishness, esp since this would also be around the time he was growing out his hair.

he has had people do the "lookit me ive befriended the sad disabled kid arent i good <3" schtick (which esp pisses him off bc its similar to shit melinda pulls) and hes met the people who try to be nice to him for three days then turn a 180 on him when he doesnt immediately cheer up and get all buddy buddy with them. and hence he now treats kindness from strangers with extreme skepticism, suspicion, and aggression. (thomas also feeds into this but ye) it scares off plenty of legitimately nice people who he could have befriended, buuut.

Oh, a couple Fun Facts I forgot to mention. bc anemia, he bruises easy and injuries generally take longer than normal to heal. And in part bc depression and in part bc meds are prone to fucking with his appetite, either killing it entirely or just making him nauseated, he tends to not eat enough and is kind of underweight. Melinda put him in charge of dinner most nights as part of a genuine good faith effort to ensure he's getting at least one good meal and get him home when he's supposed to be.

[zebrasaursaylor]

Went into walmart today for like the first time this year (its like a halfhr away tho so like we dont go there often anyways) but like omfg its wild how many ppl dont have masks?!? Or like even worse, they have them but their very young children dont?? I even seen a pregnant woman without a mask and like its not like these ppl just arent wearing masks no theyre not wearing masks and fucking glaring at you for wearing one like somehow youre the fucking asshole?? While we were in checkout this old fuck in front of us legit just stood there and glared at us the entire time he was getting rung up and im pretty sure its bc of the masks.

Like idk i dont even have my own kids but one of the kids i nannied was hospitalized when he was young and like just watching ppl with new borns out in walmart just fucking around its like sad and scary, only made scarier by the fact that the hosptial in that town is fucking shit, like i legit asked a paramedic if they felt bad when they had to take ppl there and she couldn't *actually* say yes but her face sure did.

And of course most of these ppl are trumpers. Like i like wearing a mask but the looks i get for wearing one is fucking terrifying especially when you know for a fact 80% of the ppl giving you those looks, are fucking armed.