#oh sure its not GREAT that she wants me to kidnap this guy but he was going to meddle with her! hes only here bc of those fairies!

[vaugarde]

 really gotta get around to drawing widow some more bc im getting ideas for her (sad)

[moonstruckme]

“Wow,” Morgan sighs happily, “I don’t know which one of you is more whipped.” 

i'm so obsessed with this line from one of your recent spencer reid works and i would loooove to see more of this dynamic if you're interested in doing it 💗 maybe more moments of them being soft/whipped for each other and the team noticing it? thank youuu!!

Thank you lovely!

cw: mention of kidnapping (more a backdrop than anything)

Spencer Reid x bau!reader ♡ 1k words

Spencer really wishes he’d remembered his gloves. The air is biting, fresh powder glistening on the deep green spruces whose boughs stoop under its weight. It’s picturesque, and yet the snowfall couldn’t have come at a worse time. It’s impeded their search party by hours, potentially dooming the kidnapping victim they’re all braving the weather for. Spencer keeps his hands stowed in his coat pockets. 

“Hey.” 

He turns as you and Emily come up behind him. You’re both dressed better than he is, actual winter wear as opposed to the tweed coat he’d worn into the police station that morning. Even so, your cheek and nose are look chilled as you smile at him. You carry a disposable coffee cup in each hand. 

“Hi,” Spencer says, taking the one you extend to him. His numb fingers are grateful for the warmth of it. “I thought you guys were interviewing the uncle?” 

Emily’s shaking her head before he’s finished speaking, mouth pulling in discontent. “That was a dead end. He and his sister have been estranged for years. He doesn’t know anything.” 

A frown tugs at your features as Emily talks but you perk up quickly when you feel your boyfriend’s gaze. “We figured we’d be more helpful here,” you say brightly, “and also that you might want some liquid reinforcement.” 

“Thanks.” He does a little toast with his disposable cup and regrets it immediately, but thankfully you smile. Spencer isn’t sure how he got so lucky; it seems like he can get away with any number of weird things and you’ll find them endearing every time. “There hasn’t been much progress here either. If they left any sort of tracks, the snow covered it up. I’m not…” he lowers his voice, angling his head away from the others in his group. “I’m not sure we’ll find her alive in this.” 

“We’ve still got eight hours,” Emily points out. 

She’s right, he tells himself. There are eight hours left in the forty-eight hour window. But that’s also just a statistic. And as someone whose brain is packed full of statistics, Spencer knows that they’re not always reflective of reality. The eight hours his team has left might be more for hope than anything else. 

Emily drifts ahead of you in the group and you bump your shoulder lightly into his, forcibly derailing his train of thought. He looks over at you. Your lips are tipped up, just a little. Not faking anything, but understanding, a quiet promise that regardless of how today turns out, you’ll be in it together. He finds it easier than expected to return your smile. 

“Oh, I almost forgot.” Your hair curtains your face as you look down, unzipping your jacket to dig something out of the interior pocket. “You left your gloves at the station.” 

“Yes.” You laugh at his eagerness as he takes them from you. “I can’t believe I forgot them, thanks so much for bringing them.” 

“Of course, it was no problem.” Your eyes skim the trees. Spencer suspects that if your face weren’t already so pink it’d be coloring now. “I figured you might need them, so.” 

“You were right.” 

Your gaze flits to his as you grin, then falls to where he has his gloves held bunched with his coffee cup. “Oh, do you want me to take that so you can put them on?” 

“That’d be great,” he says, relieved. 

He holds the cup out to you. You reach for it, but when your fingers brush his in the transfer, you gasp, covering his hand with yours. 

“Spence,” you say softly, remonstrance gentled. “Your hands are freezing!” 

“They’re not as bad as they were before. What are you doing?” 

You’ve taken one of his hands in yours and appear to be inspecting it closely. “Checking if your fingernails are blue.” 

“They’re not,” he laughs, though he lets you finish your perusal until you’re satisfied. “I would know if I had frostbite. I’d be able to identify the symptoms early on.” 

“They’re just so cold,” you fret. “I’ve never felt skin that cold before.” 

The tops of his hands are still freezing, but his palms and the pads his fingers have warmed from the coffee cup. “I’m not sure they’re colder than your face,” he says, pressing his free hand to one of your cheeks. 

Unsurprisingly, your skin is cool to the touch, but you smile warmly as you push your cheek into his palm. 

“Okay, you two,” Emily says without turning around, “less fraternizing on the job. 

You straighten immediately. “We were just—”

“Being cute and coupley?” Uncannily, Morgan appears on Spencer’s other side. He has no idea when his nosiest coworker had drifted back from the front of the group. “We know. But could you save it for the hotel later? Even all the sparks flying off you two can’t melt all this snow, and I want to get out of here sometime before dark.” 

Spencer suspects his face is about as red as yours as he looks down to pull on his gloves. Morgan relishes in it, raising an eyebrow at you. 

“And don’t think I didn’t notice that you brought pretty boy here a coffee and not me.” He tsks. “I didn’t expect such blatant favoritism from you, sweetheart. I’m disappointed.” 

“I was carrying yours,” Emily says, her tone conveying an eyeroll so effectively she doesn’t need to follow through with the action. She pushes a disposable coffee cup into Morgan’s chest. 

He doesn’t look one bit sheepish as he takes it, though Spencer notices you trying to repress a grin that’s bordering upon smug. 

“This has lipstick on the lid.” 

Emily shrugs. “I finished mine in the car.” 

“So you started on mine?” 

“I sampled.” 

“You’re lucky I exhibit such blatant favoritism,” you say quietly to Spencer under their bickering. “I finished mine in the car too.” 

He raises his eyebrows, and you shake your empty cup as proof. Spencer takes your hand, wrapping it around his coffee cup. “We’ll share.”

[thegeminisage]

ok, its time for a QUICK tng update before xm*s proceedings. saturday we did "best of both worlds part ii" and "family" and last night we did "brothers" and "suddenly human."

best of both worlds part ii: I LOOOOOVED THIS EPISODE. mwah. EVERYTHING i wanted. creepy little cyborg implants. brainwashed picard. his beautiful perfect cgi tear (which may or may not have been cgi, this is a point of debate, experts please weigh in). data bravely doing a robot mind meld. 1000000/10 more borg episodes please please PLEASE

can you imagine if the borg has ben in tos btw. what a thought experiment, except for how i quite literally can't think about it or i'll get so excited i'll pass out

did guinan imply she and picard were lovers in this ep...girl you can do better

my one nitpick with william riker was him promoting that lady he hated instead of someone who deserved it, like worf or data. it probably would have given worf ptsd but can you imagine that enterprise having a captain and first officer being gay on the bridge again...wonderful. except this time there would also be deanna <3

"how much do you remember" "everything" AHAHAHAHA GREAT. GOOD. WONDERFUL. anyway

family: extremely unusual episode but i loved it nonetheless. i was really shocked worf's parents were so sweet!!! i fucking loved them. they're like the cutest people on earth i can't believe they raised such a taciturn and stoic guy like worf...

picard's family i wasn't sure about at first until the wrestling match in the mud. sometimes you need to punch a guy and his brother stepped up to the job admirably. i kept thinking he looked like michael caine, which would have been an incredible choice.

WESLEY.....................................................we don't need to talk about it

everyone's accents in this ep were wack. why does picard have a totally different accent from his brother. why is worf's accent different from his parents. ik its not that deep but its making me crrrazzzyyy

brothers: i didnt even get a look at the title of this episode before we started bc vumoo (the shady site im using to watch) doesn't display them but it was SUCH an unexpected pleasure to get a data episode

absolutely scuh-reaming at the ease with which he hijacked an ENTIRE goddamn starship. he's so competent i love that. a real "glad he's on OUR side" moment, not unlike spock commandeering the enterprise in "the menagerie" (rip i wish that had been a better episode).

lore grew on me really fast. i was neutral on him during his last appearance, the meme aside, but in this episode he was really fun and unsettling. brent spiner can do horrible, horrible things with his face

this ep felt a little cut off? i expected another confrontation with lore, a getting back of the chip, or at least some kind of burial or funeral for dr soong, but we just quit like 3/4 through the episode. maybe less time spent on the opening section of the hijack could have fixed this

anyway i love the foil between data and lore...one has support and the other does not...but it doesn't make sense for lore to get the emotions chip because it seems like he already HAS them??

oh yeah and data repeating "i am not less perfect than lore" got funnier EVERY time he did it. little man was really going thru it i was cracking up genuinely <3

suddenly human: this episode was wack

ok, did you guys read face on the milk carton when you were in school? i did when i was way too young to be reading it and it fucked me up real bad and i completely forgot about it until i watched this episode and then i got to unlock that memory in real time

anyway, while it is obviously the correct choice to return a child to their family when they are kidnapped as babies, it is also hugely traumatic for an older child to be ripped away from a loving home* and transplanted with strangers, which those books explore in horrific detail. so the whole episode i found myself going "i KNOW it's bad politics but could they not just CONSIDER leaving him with the only family he's ever known as a possible choice" and then they DID THAT and i wanted to be ill because it was obviously the worst choice in the world

* this is a different scenario than the first tng episode involving kidnapped children, which strongly resembled the residential schools from real life. THIS particular situation, minus the method of kidnapping (during warfare), more closely resembled the crazy cult shit happening in those books, where the kidnapped girl was being raised by people who thought they really were her biological grandparents and weren't bad people and her biological family also weren't bad people. a "no fault" situation EXCEPT FOR HE KIDNAPPENED THAT BABY DURING WARFARE.

anyway this is the second time tng has dropped the ball on this subject so i think from now on they should not do episodes like this anymore. really really really really bad.

NEXT TIME: "remember me" and "legacy"

[filipinosamflynn]

RED RISING BOOK 1 CHARACTER TIER LIST + FULL THOUGHTS! >:D

Below is my review of book 1, I'll go into spoilers. After this, I'm either gonna move onto a different book or try to find golden son. Not sure which one will happen.

But yeah, great book, 4 stars, or 8/10! Definitely just set up for things to come in the trilogy, but also a really good setup & story.

PREFACE: This is from the perspective from somebody who DOESN'T read books for fun too often. Red Rising was the first book in a long while I chose to read for fun since Harry Potter in 1st year high school (I didn't even finish the series, I stopped at the start of Half Blood Prince). So you're dealing with one of the most casual guys who went into the series. Another thing: I came into the series thinking it would be similar to Nimona (2023) or Sylas's story from League, since I brought up these two things when I first asked for book recs, so my expectations were HORRIBLY wrong (kind of, sylas's lore is pretty similar and the only difference is that sylas gets STRAIGHT into action but also his characterization sucks). So my perspective is strange, is what I'm saying, and I am far from the most valid person to be seriously reviewing this book. I'm just sharing this for fun lmao :P

I'm just writing the first few things that come to my mind, so stick with me people! These are messy, unfiltered thoughts.

This book is rough, really whumpy at the start of the book, but it's good whump. It's just setting up and establishing what's to come and to make all the payoffs feel better by showing us the insane suffering Darrow goes through. But also? Damn. That was rough. it felt like grimdark (this is coming from the perspective of a guy who actively avoids all things grimdark - with the exception of whump fanfics on ao3).

And then we get into the institution, and I just went, "oh. This is hunger games harry potter." I was a bit disappointed to be honest, I know the book is called "red rising" and it literally means "the slow rise of a red" so he still needs to prepare himself for what's to come, but also... eh?????? Someone in Reddit called this segment "pierce brown kidnapping fans of the hunger games when it was at the peak of its popularity", which ✨️iconic behavior✨️ but I was a bit confused as we took this academy stuff seriously. But slowly, I grew into it when the characters started interacting. I liked it when Darrow was interacting with others since the first half of the book felt so isolating. I liked every single scene Sevro shows up since he brings so much chaos and fun to a story that had so much downtrodden underlying sadness. The chapter 9 reveal is still hitting me, like "damn FUCK THESE GUYS BRO, WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS PLANET HAS ALREADY BEEN TERRAFORMED???" Also because sevro's fucking awesome, but that's besides the point. The same goes for Darrow's scenes with Virginia and pre-sword fight Cassius, but they aren't as iconic as Sevro.

Darrow is a super compelling protagonist for the story he's in. Making him this power fantasy fulfillment guy makes things feel all the more liberating when he beats the shit out of a guy, it's sort of like a shonen anime protagonist, I guess (i don't watch anime btw). Bro talks about Eo a bit too much though 💀 it got to the point where it got a bit funny, but some moments do hit... before virginia came into the picture as the better love interest since she's girlboss and eo is seraphine from league of legends.

Most of the characters are well written or awesome! The proctors are real loveably hateable pieces of shit I wanted 200 feet below the dirt, and I loved seeing them get beat up. Except you Fitchner, you are iconic, and you gave us Sevro. I love you. Antonia, Cassius & Jackal are just set up here, and it's mildly disappointing? I am super happy the finale ended up being "FUCK THE PROCTORS" but also that stole time away from finishing off the inter-student conflicts. Yeah those will 100% be explored in the rest of the books with more time to do so, but damn :/ the last time we see Antonia, I think she just stands there at a castle to remind us she exists??? Whatever, watching the proctors get shit on was exactly what I needed to want to see more out of this series.

I was a bit disappointed when Darrow ended up being the only red we explore in this book. I was kind of disappointed when Darrow just speaks with a gold accent the entire time, I hope later in the series he speaks like a red again because I have a red bias and hate fancy ass shit. From a book called "red rising", there aren't too many reds after part 2 which I found odd for a revolution story about a red taking control over the system. Titus? Ohoh! FUCK HIM! why did they write him to be this rapist guy, and he just exists to let darrow know he isn't the only fake gold at the institute. I was mildly hoping we would get to see another red-turned-gold team up with darrow as a 100% trustworthy ally since I felt like we needed it after all the loneliness Darrow goes through, but sadly no :(

OH AND THE ACTION SCENES HELL YEAH!!! Reddit wasn't kidding when they talked about how bloodydamn GOOD the fight scenes are. I got spoiled that "Clang! Clang! Clang! Confess!" means something, and I don't even know who is fighting who, but I want to read the whole series just to get to that point because it sounds badass.

But uhhh this series came to me at a rough point in my life. It was hard to read some parts of it and I took a few breaks. Yeah, I read the whole thing in 2 weeks, but also just to fill myself with some sort of closure when I felt sad. I felt good coming out of it, but during? UHHHHHH-

These disorganized thoughts are getting messy, if you have any questions about specific things, comment them for me to answer. I might. 🥰

Story: 7/10, just set up but good set up

Characters: 9/10, bloodydamn good, almost all of them. I can tell, despite my initial disappointment for some of them since I know this is a book SERIES, so we will be seeing more of them soon.

Personal Enjoyment: ????/10, felt too sad at some points, absolutely adored this book in others.

Quality: 9/10, amazing writing, I want to buy all the books JUST to support Pierce Brown, I'm not even sure if I will be reading them, I just feel like throwing money at him.

Overall Score: 8/10, scared to continue, but damn I want to continue.

[leopoldainter]

Snyderemark it's as good to onow that in the great whit neuf

Do not do it

It's super smash brawl, feel like Elon Musk in your own home

If not now then get me a cell"plan.Who then huh? More like sexy dumbdumbs the new chef

Also the mother of the kidnapped newscaster wants you to know all tho there are better soups, she and the president of NBC now owned by a regular guy /possible post genocidal maniac/and his neice opened a borscht restaurant,

It's basically the second, yet set in the past the hell with characters hip this is kotor and you are still on the mining vessel

ahhh

just the one ah please, fuck she's useless cast her on taken

That is not princess carolines condo

Yeah, that wasn't hungover naked bojack

Jeep is not hanging on its own if they're just driving by the airbus or... k coke bought all, I'll go to pepsitown brown Thanks page, it's Keri Russel in her jetsons outfit

DONT FORGET YOUR ONE GLOVE I WANNA GO TO SLEEP TONIGHT fuck she's useless the found her in Bermuda...

She doesn't know he's black, it's a confusing first season

Interesting, as the paper work mashes degrassi one could admit towards astonishment that all this would be bound for naught

At the docks and Jerry's nowhere to be found.

Dang

-Phil Jennings

Outstanding as per eujshe

Jerry shouting from... a pharmacists void

How they know for sure when it'll be too late us beyond me

?

IS

not there anymore get over it!

Heinous

Anus

Anus

Anus

We can just leave

You drive

蓖acne

膩bacne

油inerrearny

Found it!

Woah, are Yankees northerners or Danes de hamelton du Gras hund lac leamy fireworks competition duh. For once in your life admit that the Italian anthem's aim Asquoris(Rats, regrets even, but not dil, benign)

Otherwise Algonquin college is on the bus roof

Maybe try A Sandra Bullock imitation hamlet

Your "friend" just offered us beer water

I'm a ghost stan

.

No I'm just reading the sift

No way am I going all the way down there to say cut to Tod's apartment for a sneak peak at margarine testing zinfandel til it turned white rosé

That's foreshadowing fore yeah, the emperors new groves theme song is you messed up the emperors groove that's a windows iii how bout yeah it is

Pretty pretty noisy.

The perms not making much of it tho hun

I'm not explaining why again just look at there emotions

I don't know did you push the knob in?

Oh, I don't smoke

Night

Ranger

What's that crunching

I don't know maybe a notebook and Somethings

[mariana-oconnor]

Wisteria Lodge pt 4

Last time, we left Holmes and Watson about to mount an intrepid rescue of probable inside woman and possibly dead Miss Burnett, who at 40 years old is apparently too old for love, because the Victorian era was an ageist hellscape.

I have come up with a solution by which Mr Garcia (who I have decided is a bisexual spy) and Miss Burnet are actually the good guys. But this requires the two girls to have been pre-kidnapped and so Garcia's plan would be a counter-kidnapping.

I mean, I jumped straight to kidnapping as soon as it seemed likely that the governess was involved and there were two young girls. I may have jumped the gun a bit, but weirdly the idea is sticking with me.

It was not, I must confess, a very alluring prospect. The old house with its atmosphere of murder, the singular and formidable inhabitants, the unknown dangers of the approach, and the fact that we were putting ourselves legally in a false position all combined to damp my ardour.

Psh, I bet they didn't damp Mr Garcia's ardour.

Yeah, that was a cheap shot, but seriously Watson, come on. Screw your courage to the sticking place and all that.

But it was not destined that our investigation should have so adventurous an ending.

...well that's anticlimactic. I was all geared up for a rescue mission! What am I going to do with these grappling hooks now?

“They've gone, Mr. Holmes. They went by the last train. The lady broke away, and I've got her in a cab downstairs.”

Did they go because of Holmes' investigation of the house or did they go because of whatever Mr Baynes' mysterious cunning plan is?

"I shan't forget the face at the carriage window as I led her away. I'd have a short life if he had his way—the black-eyed, scowling, yellow devil.”

A lot of 'devil' faces in windows this time around. And all on ethnic minorities as far as I can tell. Racist Victorian tropes, my beloathed.

Good for Miss Burnet for fighting back even when she's been drugged up to the gills on opium. I really hope she wasn't planning a kidnapping because I want to like her. And I really don't like her employer. Not drugging or whipping your employees is like the lowest bar of employer conduct to jump over. Even Violet Hunter wasn't drugged or whipped and she had a terrible work environment. I want him to be unambiguously the bad guy. Also because I want the poor cook to be acquitted.

“I was sure Henderson, as he calls himself, felt that he was suspected, and that he would lie low and make no move so long as he thought he was in any danger. I arrested the wrong man to make him believe that our eyes were off him. I knew he would be likely to clear off then and give us a chance of getting at Miss Burnet.”

OK, fine. You were right, but fuck you for arresting and attacking an innocent man. Poor show. Dick move. Be better.

(is that the first gif I've posted from an actual Sherlock Holmes media for one of these liveblogs? I think it might be...)

"We can't arrest without her evidence, that is clear, so the sooner we get a statement the better.”

Read this as 'her without' rather than 'without her' and was confused about what was going on, as she seems pretty innocent of the murder. But then I reread and realised that I once again fail at reading comprehension. Not like I have a degree in it or literally work in a related field or anything.

“Henderson,” the inspector answered, “is Don Murillo, once called the Tiger of San Pedro.”

Who the fuck is that?

OK, Watson's going to become Captain Exposition for a minute, great. Gimme some backstory, bay-beeee.

Oh... Is San Pedro a fake country? Did ACD make up a fake country for this story so he couldn't be accused of being rude about a specific country? Or do I just not know history?

Central America, okay, not the Caribbean, but right ballpark.

The dictator, his two children, his secretary, and his wealth had all escaped them. From that moment he had vanished from the world, and his identity had been a frequent subject for comment in the European press.

I feel... I feel like if this had been real information and a real country I would have worked this out? Like if I had known there was a mysteriously missing dictator from a formerly Spanish colony with a green and white flag, who had two children, I feel like I called every part of this except the specifics, which I couldn't have called because they're made up.

“Once already his life has been attempted, but some evil spirit shielded him. Now, again, it is the noble, chivalrous Garcia who has fallen, while the monster goes safe."

Alright, so no kidnapping, just assassination. Chivalrous, charming bi assassin Garcia is once again on the side of good and not abducting children. Pity he got his face beaten in.

"My husband—yes, my real name is Signora Victor Durando—was the San Pedro minister in London. He met me and married me there. A nobler man never lived upon earth. Unhappily, Murillo heard of his excellence, recalled him on some pretext, and had him shot. With a premonition of his fate he had refused to take me with him. His estates were confiscated, and I was left with a pittance and a broken heart."

Vengeance!

"I was to see that the doors were open and the signal of a green or white light in a window which faced the drive was to give notice if all was safe or if the attempt had better be postponed."

Light not shutters, but coolcoolcool.

"But they determined to get rid forever of Garcia. They had gagged me, and Murillo twisted my arm round until I gave him the address. I swear that he might have twisted it off had I understood what it would mean to Garcia."

How did you... not know... what it would mean to Garcia? Like, what did you think they were going to do? Have a tea party? Invite him to play his guitar at their next shindig? Have a chat about gardening? I get that you were being tortured for information, so there's no shame in giving him up, but you can't say 'well, I didn't know they would kill him.'

"This afternoon a good lunch was brought me, but the moment after I took it I knew that I had been drugged."

Also feel like maybe you should have guessed this before you ate it, after they'd been starving you for days. But you were probably out of your mind hungry and on the edge of hallucinating, so I suppose that makes sense.

It is a matter of history, however, that a little time was still to elapse before the Tiger of San Pedro should meet with his deserts. [...] Some six months afterwards the Marquess of Montalva and Signor Rulli, his secretary, were both murdered in their rooms at the Hotel Escurial at Madrid.

In the best traditions of these stories, the bad guys reach justice offscreen at the hands of unknown people. 😂

But Vengeance has been satisfied.

BUT, there is just enough time for some more racist discussion of the cook, because of course there is. And it turns out his entire inclusion as a character is completely pointless and a racist little red herring that goes nowhere and just had some extra racism piled on top for garnish. Wonderful. I hope they released him and didn't keep him in prison for assaulting a police officer/resisting arrest, because when you literally arrested him illegally for a crime you knew he didn't commit, that's bullshit.

I was right about it being a Victorian depiction of Voodoo, though, so... I get points for knowing my racist stereotypes? I feel like that's like an extra level of losing, though.

Wow this story went from gay hookup gone wrong to racist mess in two seconds flat, huh? I miss the simpler times when Mr Scott Eccles being an oblivious tory was the biggest problem.

On a happier note, Silver Blaze is next, and I remember a lot about this one just from the title, so I guess there will be no attempt to solve it, just memes for days.

ETA: That little wrap up does not tell us what happened to the children. What happened to the children? Where did they go? The little girls just disappear. Did I miss something? What happened to the children?

[yandere-plague]

This is a semi-au that I randomly thought up, should I make a part 2?

[Yandere Handsome Jack]

(Story)

Hyperion Stooge

Tw // mentions of kidnapping , betrayal , blackmail , implied Lilith relationship

"Hey kiddos, I'm offering a bounty of a million dollars for whoever brings me my good friend (y/n). I've had some reports that she's hiding somewhere near Sanctuary. Oh, and before I leave, if there is even a single scratch on her I'll kill each and every single one of you! chao."

His voice rung across Pandora, the many a radio's and other miscellaneous methods of communication leads everyone to hear his fucking voice.

Handsome Jack, ever since I met him he's been looking for me. I fled to Pandora short after he had his run-in with the Firehawk on Elpis.

We all know Jack though, he doesn't take no for an answer, and will kill anyone who disagrees.

I know nobody will turn me in inside sanctuary, but I can't help but feel somewhat blamefull for everything Jack has done here.

He's killed, manipulated thousands of people.

For one thing only, me.

Its like a game to him, every second he gets a centimetre closer to me.

"Dont worry (y/n). none of us will turn you in, I promise." Lilith the Firehawk stood beside me, the new leader of the Crimson Raiders.

I have no idea how she manages to stay composed, even after the death of Roland.

"Why does Jack want you though, you've never left sanctuary from what I've seen..."

I tensed up, if she knew the fact that all of this is going on just because Jack wants me. She would kill me.

"Well, I guess he's going to try and use you to get to me. If Jack tries to ECHO you, tell me immediately." She got up, stretched and walked off.

She doesn't suspect anything, it feels wierd saying that even though I'm on her side...

-----------------------------------

Jack has a hunch on this planet, called Pandora.

Its funny, you look at one word of any description of the planet and you will already be distained of wanting to visit.

So why has it interested Jack? He's just a low level programmer, non of the higher ups would batt an eye of his ludicrous idea.

But of course he was right about that hunch, otherwise non of us would be here... - and that's when I shortly met him.

I was even lower then him, working in IT support. Which is contradicting for me to call Jack low.

But of course that doesn't matter at all now, he's the big shot CEO of Hyperion, and I'm just a rando in Sanctuary I guess...

I wonder what my life would be like if I hadn't have left him there.

Probably being forced to be his "pet".

Though I guess we are both somewhat working towards the same goal.

Jack wants to look for the Vault still, but he refuses until he has me.

I don't know whats in a Vault, but I sure as hell know I'll be using it against jack.

-----

I walked into HQ, going up the stairs past Tannis's lab.

Lilith, Brick and Mordicai stood round the Table in the middle of the room. The hologram in the center displaying a map of Pandora.

"Hey guys." I waved, seeing what they were looking at. They had mapped out the locations that the Vault Hunters have been, trying to guess where the Warrior could be buried.

Nothing really interesting was being said so I said my goodbyes and headed out to Moxxi's.

My ECHO device rang, Paranoia hitting me like a hyperion train.

With a sharp breath I answered the call.

And then I wish I didn't.

"Nice ECHO encryption (y/n)! Certainly a tough one, hmm. I wonder where you got the coding skills from..." it's Jack.

"Enough about that, so... How's Pandora? Or should I say... Sanctuary?"

That bitch.

"Go to hell John." Short but sweet.

"Its... Jack, sweetie." Great, nicknames.

I'm not too worried, he can't destroy Sanctuary now that it's in the air.

"Yeah, like I care." Hes still being an asshole, but a calm asshole, that's unlike him.

"Soo, I assume you've seen those bounties I put on you? Its probably scary right? I mean, I wouldn't know I'm not running for my life right now. I'm in my office, like you could, and still can, have been. Ruling the entire Galaxy one planet at a time."

"I don't care what you threatening me with, I am not going with you Jack! The Crimson Raiders are practically family to me!"

"Oh really? How about I tell everyone about you? The Crimson Raiders won't want to work with an Hyperion worker will they?"

"Are you seriously trying to blackmail me right now?! Go on then, tell them. They won't care!"

"And for the record, I'm not even working for you. Haven't been for years."

"...Your wish is my command (y/n)."

He hung up, I laughed myself to the ground. This just did not happen.

"It appears as that some ex-hyperion troops has been hiding in sewers, and they have a insatiable lust for Pizza. Go get some from Moxxi's and head to the location I sent you."

Why did I have to remember this.

I had overheard it as I was taking a jog around Sanctuary.

Listening to other people's conversations was a nasty habit I got from Hyperion, after all secrets and blackmail are your only way to get up to the top without physically hurting anyone.

Tannis had sent a Vault Hunter to kill the Hyperion personnel, claiming that not even they can be 'redeemed'.

I had brushed it off though, I wasn't apart of them during Jacks reign. So, maybe there is a chance they will spare me.

I hope to god...

----

I headed to HQ, feeling sick to my stomach-

"Sup (y/n), you feeling okay?" Lilith said as she rested on a table, her faces smile turning concerned.

"I- you trust me, dont you Lilith?"

She was taken aback by that, that was out of character even for you.

"Of course we- I do. Why? What has Jack said to you?" She walked towards me.

"I dont have time to explain, he's going to tell everyone! Just... Promise me, this won't change anything between us right? I'm not-"

"Bandits of Sanctuary!" His voice stung, like it was poison to even speak those words.

So... you might be wondering why I'm after (y/n). Well, ya see. We worked together during the first vault opening, and during the second vault... she left me. Shes still Hyperion, no matter what she says."

"I'll leave you to talk things out. Oh and one thing! (Y/n)? You can come back any time baby. I'm waiting with open arms!"

I suddenly realised everyone was in HQ, I couldn't stop shaking.

"... its true, I did work for Hyperion. But I promise I left soon after Lilith did the thing in the vault. He's insane." I never thought i would have to reveal this to anyone.

"Are you going to kill me?" The overwhelming sense of dread filled me.

"Why... why would you say such a thing?! You arn't working for Hyperion now, so why should we care?" She answered for everyone, except Tannis, probably.

"But- But Tannis-" this doesn't make any sense.

"I know Tannis asked the Vault Hunters to kill some Hyperion workers but, I just- couldn't do it to you. Okay?" Before I could even process what was going on she hugged me.

"Though this does give me an idea, and you're not going to like it..."

I gulped, what's it going to be?

-

Should I do a part 2?

[maddy-ferguson]

Ngl i am a little bit tired seeing ppl come up with excuses for why Will was sidelined and receives minimum screentime each season bc supposedly he will receive all of his screentime in the finale. It just makes no sense for your supposed centre character to receive minimum screentime for 4 seasons straight. And i would agree that its all intentional if the show doesnt follow the fanservice agenda with giving more screentime to characters like Steve and Dustin and Hopper bc they are liked by the audience meanwhile Jonathan and Will and even Joyce sometimes have been shat on for a long time. There is no way to fix this only in the finale season. I dont want to sound like a hater but it is really screaming bad writing.

it's annoying because on the one hand i like the story of will being replaced by el after vanishing and i like to think of that being reflected even in the fabric of the show. because she did replace him, people (mlvns) think of mike el lucas and dustin as the core four because she took his place while he was in the upside down and then started dating mike which is obviously what will wants, and because if it all goes as planned season five will make people see that will was just as important all along (a girl can dream) (i don't mean in terms of screentime). i think that story's very fun, cruel summer season 1 (something i've said before in the notes of this post from a while ago) except the girl who replaces will does it without meaning to and she helps save his life so it's very different. on the other hand...as i said in april...

the byers being sidelined? for will i guess you can rationalize it and come up with great and convincing meta reasons as to why his character was sidelined in seasons 3 and 4 (which, yeah, fascinating, i will still hate it ten years from now, no matter how important to season 5 will is), but what about jonathan? what about joyce? how does one justify the fact that winona went from being the reason 75% of people older than 15 started watching the show to having less screentime than fucking jason in season 4? it is annoying when people act like byler endgame will make everything right and will make stranger things a perfect show because it really won’t

also i'm not sure about joyce having less screentime than jason i actually just saw people say that and i can't find a s4 screentime chart to confirm lol. but yeah the thing is...when it's all of the byers not just will getting sidelined to make room for characters like steve it's like. this is not my stranger things cruel summer-like story (that i admittedly made up) where will got replaced in his own life while he was kidnapped anymore. it's fanservice and it's steve somehow lowkey becoming the face of the show because shawn levy apparently loves joe keery so much lol. and of course fans will make the show their own and steve is not the most important character when you watch the actual show but idk. i just don't understand why they let it get to this point was jonathan not your self insert underdog miserable guy who gets the girl when the show started like why did you stop liking him when he got the girl😭😭 it just sucks because whether you like it or not the byers made the show it was them and the kids that made season one what it was. i know the will and jonathan stuff is still there (in season 4 because in season 3 despite spending a lot of time together they...have nothing?) but oh my god the joyce and jonathan relationship is...like do the writers know that jonathan is joyce's son before being will's father figure. i think the parentification stuff is great and very interesting and i hope he doesn't go to emerson OR lenora but oh my god. i just don't understand because it's RIGHT THERE in the show but why don't they do more with it. it's just insane to me. he's not all alone out there in the world but he very much is and i don't know how much of it is joyce being a struggling mother and how much is the writers not giving a fuck. do you think joyce and jonathan will have even just one conversation in season 5. that would be crazy.

the will getting replaced à la kate wallis in cruel summer and that being reflected by his absence even when he's back from being in another dimension and from being possessed thing i'm talking about i both like and dislike. because some of it feels very intentional (cf first post i linked) but some of it really doesn't, especially when the sidelining is a problem with all the byers like i just mentioned. and the end result is that a lot of people are like no will isn't important at all yes he's the one who disappeared and his vanishing kickstarted the show (some of them don't even say that they're like el opened the gate so it's her show WELL i'm very sorry guys but had will not disappeared mike never would've fallen in love with her in her yellow benny's burgers t-shirt so thank you will as always) but the only thing he does is cry and be gay and have a bowlcut now so he doesn't matter, which is always annoying. and it's not the el show but it kinda is the el show yk, do i think we could do with a little less el sometimes yes but it's not really el's massive screentime that bothers me because again, i think the willel juxtaposition swapping places thing is very interesting. what i cannot in good conscience defend is the steveification and simultaneous debyersification of stranger things i just can't!

and as i mentioned in the tags of my post from april and like you said, i think people are setting themselves up for disappointment if they think season 5 being will heavy is gonna fix it. it's too late. he probably won't get as much screentime and focus as will fans have come to expect because stranger things is not skam lol. i don't even know how much screentime would make it fair and would make people happy? i think you can enjoy the meta posts and reasons that read like excuses while still wishing they hadn't sidelined him that much. because the posts and the discussions are great but i also like having a good time while watching the show and it's not just tumblr willuminatis that feel disappointed by how little will we got these past seasons, a lot of people feel that way. at the end of the day i still think will is one of the most important characters and i think season five will reflect that but i still wish season three and four had been different in the will department. and i don't expect season five to make it up to me because it never will like seasons three and four will forever be like this! you can't convince me they couldn't have done them in a way that didn't accidentally reveal too early that he isn't gonna end up gay sad alone and dead for the crime of being gay or that he actually matters in the supernatural side of things you know.

[foxingpeculiar]

FF16 Blogging: I just got back from Kanver. Spoilers and whatnot.

I’ve only been playing a little bit for the last couple of days. And I don’t feel like I’ve hit any big “aha!” moments in the story.

Like first, after Twinside, was the “go around and see how shitty things are” quest where you have to help Martha’s Rest, Northreach, Dalimil. And basically, whatever Primogenesis does, exactly, it’s fuckin’ things up. The sky is all weird, there’s aether and akashic popping up everywhere, Ultima’s thralls are causing trouble, and governments basically aren’t a thing anymore on Storm, so there’s like anarchy and lots of bandits and other ne’er-do-wells are running rampant. Okay, got it.

Then you go Kanver to help Mid and Gav, except nothing really happens there. You’re too late to save the city, Harbard challenges you and then just kind of dies for no adequately explored reason. The most interesting part was Barnabas showing how powerful he actually is by giving you what-for. Annnnnd he’s kidnapped Jill. Great. I mean, I was gonna have to go to Waloed anyway. But I’m miffed she’s been fridged.

I guess it’s kinda cool that Joshua has had this whole secret service/CIA network at his disposal the whole time. But he hasnt yet explained how he came to find out about Ultima and its machinations. Also, and this is fandom-brain, but are he and Jote a thing? The way he kisses her forehead has a kind of intimacy, but it’s almost more fraternal. And there was something in the scene where he meets Mid and is all formal with her, which she doesn’t know how to take, that made me wonder.

I’m still trying to work out what Mythos and Ultima are, exactly. Like, in an ontological sense. Some of Harbard/Barnabas’s comments (“Mythos is everything”) have me really curious for them to nail that down, but I don’t know how much they’re really going to explain it. I guess we’ll see.

Most of what I have this time is stray thoughts, though:

I finally beat Atlas (at lvl 38), but damn if it didn’t take everything I had (including 2 Elixirs), plus Joshua and Jill’s help.

I dunno what’s going on with Oscar. But sure, send him to help rebuild Eastpool; there’s some poetry in that.

Lol @ Clive’s terrible acting in Dalimil. And also the clear LotR reference in the name Underhill. Doesn’t L’ubor even say something like “we don’t want to do the name Underhill a disservice?” Mmhm. I see you.

Some of the sidequests from the Hideaway in this bit were kind of fun. Clive’s a good teacher—the way he responds to the kids who are rebuilding Mid’s scales by indulging their questions while gently pointing them back on track—that was a really well-written bit that did a lot for him as a character in my mind. Also, I love the way he’s kind of afraid of Charon during that quest with “Wetlegs” and stuff. He’s a likeable guy—gruff, but with a soft, creamy interior.

So there’s that quest when you’re on the way to Kanver where you help the dying Republican soldiers deal with some akashic and, at the end, instead of being grateful, the guy you save is super pissed off cos he knows who you are and hates you. I let him live instead of fighting him, which I feel was the morally correct choice, but is that gonna bite me in the ass later? Cos he did swear revenge and all.

I forget exactly how it happened, but I have a note appreciating that they worked in the Phoenix Down. It’s such an iconic item.

Oh, and I finished the Quinten/Lostwing quest. There’s a lot in this game about like, finding purpose. I’d wanna play through it again with this in mind, but it’s interesting to see how it’s functioning as a piece of art created in the current socio-political environment.

I dunno. Again, I feel like I haven’t accomplished much in the past few hours of play. But I also feel like it’s the calm before the storm of the final push. Presumably I’m gonna cross over to Ash next, and whatever’s going on there is gonna be (had better be) crazy.

[character-shoes-and-misery]

Okay, so, Your Turn To Die (A Death Game by Majority Vote) spoilers ahead or w/e but I just finished watching the first two chapters of YTTD and I have to say: “Sou Hiyori”, if that even is your real name (its not), is the Absolute Most Character I’ve ever seen.

Like, this poor guy roles up, kidnapped, to a death game & the people in charge are immediately like “Hi, hello, you have a 0% chance of surviving this, look at our AI generated data boy”. And he’s like “oh no, I have to become a different person to survive??? I guess???” And then maybe gets like abused by real/AI Sou Hiyori??? I’m not sure I assume that gets expanded on later lol

Then he meets the other contestants and is like “Okay, I’m going to hang out around the girl with the best chance of survival and be really friendly and useful and this’ll be great :)” but his resolve lasts not even three minutes? I guess he gets bored??? Bc Sara is, if not polite, at least not actively impolite to anyone? But anyway he decides to be THE most suspicious person anyone has ever met ever and for why??? Unclear.

And if ALL that wasn’t enough, during the first death game he IMMEDIATELY proves why he had a zero percent survival rate. Like, Sara’s cool, don’t get me wrong, I love her very very much and she’s precious, but every outcome is a possibility Sara at least *thought* about, which means there *is* a universe where she gets everyone’s votes lined up in the second death game, and then betrays them all anyway and escapes with Nao. On pain of not wanting to die, she reveals what she believes to be the truth: that her best friend is someone safe to vote to kill in the first death game. Like, it’s all understandable, don’t misunderstand me, but it’s that ability to do what she has to that lets her survive so many death games. And Keiji too, he’s willing to lie & mislead & push all decisions on a 16-18 year old girl, and that ruthlessness also is helpful in a death game.

But our Sou Hiyori is like “haha I’m going to act like the world’s biggest scum & set it up so either someone I think is a traitor dies (good), OR I die (also cool, & I don’t have to watch this high school student die, bonus!)”. And listen, it’s not that he’s not smart, EVERYONE in this game, from baby elementary school student Gin to high school professor Mishima is very smart, but then he does THE EXACT SAME THING the second game.

This man stumbles around, concussed, the entire free time before the first game, then pretends to get knocked out AGAIN for the second free time before getting up to shenanigans where he is trying his hardest to get everyone out and free and alive, but as soon as they are forced to enter the second game he’s like “Whelp. Time to be a jerk again :)”. And tries to set everything up so either the child he *thinks* is going to die is voted for (even though he KNOWS he wouldn’t be picked to go with her, she feels guilty about Sara, if she got to pick the one other person to go free with her SHE’D PICK SARA) or he gets voted to die (Great! Once again, I don’t have to die :)). And then he gets MAD at the end if you vote to kill the child and save him! Like, my guy!!! You are not cut out for death games!!! No wonder you always die!!! Truly incredible.

[voxvulgi]

Eddie ain't much of a celebrating guy. You'll pop Christmas at his doorstep and he'll swish it away like dog shit, grimace and pinched nose and everything. You offer him celebrations to suck up to the great nation he's stuck in and he'll set a few barns on fire to make his own firework. And Valentine's Day? Well, Valentine's Day knows where it can shove its saint and its traditions... usually, at least. He wouldn't say he waited in particular for this day for more selfish reasons than the one offered, but he'd be lying if he denied it. Would he rather see Jackie with himself? Yes. But that's not the only reason he 'kidnapped' her. All these festivities... perfect for presents and suitors. He'd figured, she'd rather be standing with him at a gas station in Fuckingnowhereville than be paraded around as a season-suited product. He throws the rest of his cigarette into the curb and grins. "Alright, little bird. For today and today only, I'll take ya wherever y'wanna go. So... Where y'wanna go?" ((hope this is okay ;W;W;W;))

Jackie was on the verge of faking her period when Eddie came by her window to "kidnap" her. It was half-relief, half-hassle when he helped her climb out, and her dress kept getting caught on shit all the way from home to the gas station. "Today and today only? That sounds like a lie. You'd take me anywhere I want any day, and you know it," she retorted, looking around her as if to make sure they weren't followed. She got many looks on the way here, which she contributed to how fancy she looked. If the dress got ruined...well, she wouldn't care. She kinda wanted to cut it. Or maybe-- oh. OH! "I can't go anywhere fun in this huge dress!" she exclaimed suddenly, giving Eddie a shove. "Take me to your place! I need to get changed! I can wear some of your shit; that'll make walking much easier."

[vervainvoyage]

Oof. This event is making me dislike Yoimiya.

I know lots of players like Childe, and you have every right to like whoever you want! This is not about his personality at all. But from the in-game perspective, he's a Fatui Harbringer- of the same Fatui that routinely kidnap children (Dottore's experiments on Collei and the attempted kidnappings of Vimara Village children, to name the in-game cases, and in the manga they also demand a tribute of children to be delivered from Mondstadt). And Yoimiya invites this guy to an outing with children, fully knowing that he's Fatui? Girl. Girl what the fuck. "Ah yes, General McSpy of the Yakuzalike Organisation, I'm sure he's a great babysitter for this school trip"

Traveller tries to warn her and she goes "oh but he was nice once, and hasn't hurt me personally, so clearly it can't be true that the Fatui are so dangerous" GIRL. I SWEAR TO THE ARCHONS.

Soooo yeah I do not have a high opinion of Yoimiya now. Regardless of how interesting a character is from the players' perspective, once you estabilish certain things about them, they have consequences. Childe being a known Fatui operative carries its weight, and when Yoimiya disregards it like that around the children she claims to be caring for, it just shows her in a very bad light. Oh she says "Don't worry I won't let my guard down" - as if she's so certain she can singlehandedly take down a Harbringer. Whatever the gameplay shows, plot-wise a fireworks seller should not be able to last against a Harbringer (because I'm sure someone out there beat Childe's boss fight with only Yoimiya already, but then again according to the game a theatre dancer is a 5star but the Tianquan of Liyue is not, so lets focus on the plot here and not the gameplay). So here's one of the big bosses of an organisation known for using lies, subtrefuge and trickery, who just so happened to save a child from danger... and now the children trust him... what a coincidence?

In conclusion Yoimiya, not knowing Childe well at all, is taking huge risks here that threaten not just her but the kids under her care, and she should never date, since she has too much of an inclination to ignore red flags. And when the Traveller tries to warn her, based on their own experience with Childe, and of how Fatui basically work on false pretenses and trickery, she ignores it.

[fancoloredglasses]

He-Man & She-Ra: A Christmas Special (I’m surprised they didn’t Kringle Castle Greyskull)

[All images are owned by Mattel and Filmation. Please don’t sue me]

(Thanks to psychelynx for the suggestion)

Once again, Wrestlecrap beat me to the punch as far as reviewing the special (to be fair, they’ve been active for over 20 years longer than this blog has), and I won’t say their jokes didn’t inspire mine.

Now, I’m not gonna say the only reason I did my review of He-Man and She-Ra  was so I could do this review, but...

If you would like to watch the special, it’s available on YouTube (cuz I’m sure no network would want to touch it by now)

It’s wintertime on Erternia, and King Roland and Queen Marlena are hosting a birthday celebration for their twin children Adam and Adora, who are able to celebrate together for the first time ever (since Adora grew up on Etheria after Hordak kidnapped her and was only recently reunited with Adam)

It’s such a big celebration that the Great Rebellion have taken time away from fighting to free Etheria from the Horde to celebrate as well! I’m sure the Horde won’t conquer the Great Rebellion’s lands while they’re away.

As the King and Queen look on fondly, Marlena says it reminds her of a Christmas celebration.

[Quick note: Marlena is originally from Earth. I don’t remember how (or if) the series explained how she came to Eternia. If any of you dear readers remember, please let me know in the comments]

Roland has no idea what Christmas is. Hang on, Roland and Marlena have been married for (I’m guessing) over 20 years. Are you telling me Marlena hasn’t mentioned Christmas ONCE in all that time?!

While Adora, the Great Rebellion, and the Kingdom’s defenders are getting the castle ready (so not only is Eteria left undefended, but Eternia as well? Way to go guys!)...

...Adam has skipped out on decorating to help Duncan, the Kingdom’s Man-at-Arms, actually defend the Kingdom. Duncan is putting the finishing touches on a spy satellite he calls the Sky-Spy, which he can use to see what Skeletor is up to 24/7. I don’t know about you, but I do NOT want to know if Skeletor sleeps without a loincloth!

As Duncan and Adam head back to the workshop...

Oh, you know this won’t end well. Orko decides to investigate the Sky Spy by breaking into it.

Unfortunately, his monkeying around turns it on, sending it (and HIM) skyward and into the opening credits!

Meanwhile, Skeletor also sees the Sky-Spy’s accidental launch (so I’m guessing he would’ve shot it down within a day of its actual launch) and orders his Collector to retrieve it.

Fortunately, Duncan spots this happening (if he’s able to watch this from a sky-eye view, why does he need a Sky-Spy?) as Adora walks in.

Adam decides that He-Man needs to intervene.

(Thanks to RKcrew)

Later, He-Man manages to keep the Sky-Spy from being grabbed, but...

...gets himself grabbed instead! Fortunately, He-Man is stronger than the cable holding him and breaks free. Unfortunately...

...there’s more where that came from! Fortunately...

...Adora decided that She-Ra should tag along. She-Ra quickly cuts the cables, freeing her brother. The pair then punch their way into the Collector, disabling the controls and causing it return to Skeletor’s lair on Snake Mountain.

Meanwhile on the Sky-Spy, Orko can’t leave well enough alone and casts a spell to try to get it to land...only his spells never work as intended, and instead of landing it rockets beyond Eternia’s atmosphere and into deep space!

Oh well, there’s a birthday party to get to. Roll the credits!

Wait...we’re only 7 minutes into the special.

He-Man and She-Ra chase after the Sky-Spy, but...

...it opens a wormhole and vanishes as we break for commercial!

When we return, Orko is happy the Sky-Spy is slowing down and preparing to land back on Eternia...

...only that’s not Eternia! The Sky-Spy crash lands on a frozen landscape, throwing Orko from the cockpit. He then hears a call for help...

...as a pair of children are about to be buried by an avalanche! Thinking fast, Orko casts a spell...

...and for once it actually works!

The children (Miguel and Alicia) explain they were getting a Christmas tree and got lost (so...they cut down the tree by themselves? What adult would let a kid swing an axe unsupervised?!) For whatever reason, Orko decides to show the kids the Sky-Spy.

Meanwhile on Eternia, Queen Marlena finds Orko’s spellbook at the launch site and guesses that the Sky-Spy wasn’t as unmanned as they originally thought!

On Earth, Orko takes the kids aboard the Sky-Spy to warm up (I don’t know how warm it is. I mean, it’s protecting against the snow and wind, but it it’s shut down there’s no heaters)

Orko then asks what Christmas is, so the kids tell him off-camera, so we don’t know what kid-centric explaination he got. Did it involve Jesus? Santa? The Kranpus? We have no clue! But it somehow involves presents and that’s all Orko cares about!

On Eternia, Duncan manages to track down where the Sky-Spy wound up, and Queen Marlena announces the coordinates are for Earth! Man-at-Arms says he has a teleporter beam, but it needs a Water Crystal which (conveniently for the plot) is not found on Eternia, but Adora thinks there might be some on Etheria and says she’ll contact She-Ra to ask Mermista (whose domain is the undersea of Etheria) Time for a fetch quest!

Outside, Adora somehow manages to contact She-Ra...

(Thanks to Rom)

...(a difficult task, I’m sure) and off she goes to Etheria!

Once She-Ra reaches Etheria, she contacts Mermista (you mean she wasn’t invited to the party? Some friend Adora is!) Mermista knows of the pool where a Water Crystal can be found, but it’s guarded by a creature known as the Beast Monster (boy, the writers worked overtime to name it, didn’t they?) She-Ra agrees to keep the Beast Monster busy long enough for Mermista to get the Water Crystal.

Which She-Ra does admirably. However, once Mermista hands over the Water Crystal...

Y’know, this doesn’t feel very Christmas-y...just sayin’

The sensors are attached to a giant robot...

...who brought along its friends! It’s 3-on-1 as we go to commercial!

The giant robots (known as Monstroids...did I mention the writers’ lack of imagination in naming things in this special?) encase She-Ra and Swift Wind in a force bubble, then begin changing form. So...they’re Decepticons?

The Monstroids forget about She-Ra as they leave to attack...whatever it is they’re at way with (I guess primitive Autobots?), so she uses her sword to cut through the force bubble (why didn’t she do that earlier and deal with the Monstroids?) and heads back to Eternia.

Later at Duncan’s lab, the Water Crystal is fitted into the teleportation beam and the device is activated.

Success! Roll the credits!

Wait...there’s still 25 minutes left, dammit.

Orko and the kids climb out (y’know, when those kids get back to Earth, their parents are gonna have the kids in therapy once they hear what happened) and Orko explains what happened as the scene shifts.

Meanwhile in deep space...

...Horde Prime, the supreme ruler of the Horde (who’s always depicted as a disembodied robotic hand a la Doctor Claw)

(Thanks to TVLine)

Anyway, Horde Prime detect a “new Spirit of Goodness” on Eternia (the kids? Seriously?) and dispatches Hordak and Skeletor (wait, Skeletor is working for the Horde again? You’d think he was enjoying being the Big Bad after Hordak ditched him 20 years ago) to capture it.

After telling the story, Alicia wants to be home in time for Christmas. Duncan says the teleportation beam won’t recarge for another few days, too late for Christmas. This makes Alicia whine (hey, be happy he’s able to get you home at all!) Queen Marlena suggests turning the twins’ birthday celebration into a Christmas party (sure, why not make He-Man and She-Ra more like Messiah stand-ins!)

Adam then asks about Santa (since Alicia wanted to be sure Santa would be able to get to Eternia), which prompts another off-camera explanation about Christmas (this time by Orko, so you know a few details are wrong)

Meanwhile, Horde Prime is concerned about the Spirit of Christmas being on Eternia (so Horde Prime knows about Christmas, but Eternians don’t?) and tells Skeletor and Hordak to deal with it, promising a great reward for the one who succeeds.

On Eternia, Bow and Perfuma are tasked with babysitting the kids. Nice to know the skills they honed in the Great Rebellion are being put to good use. Bow has written a Christmas song, despite the fact that he’s only just now heard of it. Suddenly...

...Hordak shows up in a ship that must’ve been an inspiration for Elon Musk’s rocket. (C’mon, you can’t tell me there’s not a certain...imagery in that spaceship)

Phallic spacecraft aside, Hordak activates a tractor beam and kidnaps the children and Orko, then heads back to Etheria! Yeah, the kids are definitely gonna need therapy after this.

However, once Hordak’s ship thrusts (sorry. The penis jokes just write themselves) its way back to Etheria...

OK, that’s WAY too much imagery!

The Monstroids (remember them?) are looking to get Horde Prime’s reward and attack (at least I hope that’s an attack!) Hordak’s ship! The Monstroids demand the kids in exchange for Hordak’s life. After about ten seconds’ consideration, Hordak agrees and high-tails it outta there. What a dick!

The Monstroids imprison Orko and the kids. Orko is moping about he (once again) messed everything up (someone please explain to me why anyone entrusts Orko with anything) when...

...She-Ra’s friends the Man-chines free them. However...

The Monstroids try to put everyone back in prison, but...

...the cavalry has arrived! He-Man tells Orko to get the kids to safety...

...while he, She-Ra, and the Man-chines make short work of the Monstroids.

Awww, Alicia found a friend (who’s named Relay)

However, while everyone’s distracted...

She-Ra goes to intercept Skeletor, so he casts a spell to slow her down.

However...

...Hordak has returned (in a ship that looks less phalic but still looks like he’s compensating for something) and shoots down Skeletor! Skeletor manages to disable Hordak’s ship but is forced to crash land in the mountains!

Fortunately, he found a soft patch of snow to land on. Skeletor then tries to force-march the kids to the rendezvous with Horde Prime, but the kids are too cold to move. The kids ask for a bit of kindness, since it’s Christmastime (when are these kids gonna realize no one Eternia has ever heard of Christmas?) Skeletor makes the mistake of asking what Christmas is, so Miguel once again starts the story.

Finally, Skeletor has had enough and tells them to get moving. However, they’re still cold, so he conjures up...

...magic coats that immediately warm the kids up. NOW GET MOVING! However, Relay didn’t get a coat and is still cold. Skeletor makes the kids leave Relay behind, but the whining (Relay’s, not the kids’) finally gets to Skeletor.

Later...

(Thanks to Peacock Kids)

Speaking of Horde Prime, he’s arrived at Etheria as Skeletor reached the rendezvous point. However...

...the rescue party has arrived!

But so has Hordak! Hordak stuns Skeletor...

...as the Power Twins attack the Horde. But while everyone’s busy...

...Horde Prime makes a grab for the children!

What happened next, Eternians say...

...Skeletor’s heart grew three sizes that day!

Skeletor’s shot disables Horde Prime’s ship. Oh, Horde Prime is NOT gonna like that!

However, before Horde Prime can exact his revenge...

...He-Man and She-Ra throw his ship into deep space.

The kids thank Skeletor for saving them, which surprised everyone (ESPECIALLY Skeletor!) He-Man says the spirit of Christmas makes everyone feel good.

Fortunately for Skeletor, the feeling will be gone by New Years.

Now it’s time for the birthday/Christmas celebration

S-Adam Claus gives the children flying belts as Duncan teleports them back to Earth

I’ll bet their parents will be selling the belts to some tech company behind the kids’ backs by New Years.

This being Filmation, there’s a heavy-handed message at the end. This one is about tolerance of those who don’t celebrate Christmas, as well as embracing the spirit of the season.

Have a great [WHATEVER YOU CELEBRATE], everyone!

[darkmulti]

Bonjour mademoiselle~don't wanna waste ur precious time too much but I just wanna say I fucking love ur contents sm I legit get goosebumps when notification says u updated🥵🥰🤧 alright so can I request yandere jungkook where its like jk bullies the male bff of oc n oc tries to save him n jk sees her for the first time n falls for her.. gradually but fast becomes obsessed w her but she hates him for having such a cruel personality. Jk forcefully dates her n tries to win her heart but oc doesn't give in so he snaps n kidnaps her, with great difficulty oc escapes n goes to another country for higher studies w her bff while also escaping jk. Years later jk becomes this powerful business tycoon n while getting into his car he sees oc hugging her bff n sadness n rage takes over him n this time he kidnaps n marries her n tries to impregnate her everyday bcuz he thinks that's the only way to bind her w him n he threatens her by mentioning her family n friends

Can you pls make it borderline noncon n v dark n pls don't hit oc it hurts 😅🥺 n can you plwease put alot of forced makeout scenes they are soo hot😩🤌😋

It's just a request so if you don't want to do it it's finee I'll just read your other works to quench my thirst 🥴🥰 (ik it's way too detailed n I wrote alot but idk this just came to my mind for no reason you can do it your way wewill be happy either way 😇🥰 even better if you make it v long cuz I cant get enough of your writings😭😭 but again ✋ you can do it whatever way you as long as you are the one whose doing it ik I'll love itt))

⚠️: bully!Jungkook, borderline non con, toxic!Jungkook, Yandere!jungkook, making out, kidnapping, baby trapping

-> sorry for any mistakes

-> you’re the sweetest!! 🥰❣️

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

You’re best friend looked distressed

He’s usually bubbly and loud, but these past few days, he’s been oddly quiet

One evening, you invited him over to your apartment for a movie night

You both were on the couch, close to each other when you accidentally hit his arm a little too hard and he hissed

You were insistent on putting some cream on it so he wouldn’t bruise that bad but when you pulled the sleeve up, you saw a lot more bruising

“Oh my god, why do you have so much bruises?!”

“I just fell down the stairs. Don’t worry about it.”

You knew that he was lying but didn’t want to pick at it more to avoid aggravating him

You muttered a “okay” and went back to watching the movie

The next day, you decided to surprise him at his school

You knew something was wrong and wanted to see what he was hiding from you

You were sitting on the bench, looking for his face in a crowd of students until you saw a group of people circle around something

You got up to investigate (cuz you’re a little nosy) and to your surprise, there was your best friend on the ground with a bloody nose

You quickly jumped and punched the guy who hit your friend

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Y/N?! What’re you doing here?”

“Shut up! This is what you’ve been hiding from me?”

Your friend looked down in shame while Jungkook faced you

“For a girl, you can punch quite hard.”

“And I’ll do it again if you don’t shut the fuck up.”

Wow. No one’s ever talked to Jungkook like that

Everyone thought you had a death wish because Jungkook sure as hell wouldn’t let you get away with humiliating him

You helped your friend up and left the scene

You bussed back to your apartment where you gave him an ice pack for his nose

“When were you going to tell me? When you end up in the hospital?”

“It’s embarrassing.”

“It’s not. It’s really not. And you were keeping it away from me too.”

Your best friend confessed everything to you, and said he wasn’t sure how to deal with Jungkook because he was loaded with money and could slip away easily

So you made him promise to tell you if he ever did something like that again

You’d figured that you could blackmail Jungkook with footage of him being a dick and send it to media channels so his dad’s reputation would be ruined

It’s been a couple of days since you punching Jungkook and according to your friend, he hasn’t bothered him

The reason why is because you’re his new target

He showed up at your school, and pulled you aside

You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms

“What do you want?”

“I want to take you out on a date.”

You looked at him dumbfounded

“My standards aren’t that low, jackass.”

“I suppose you don’t care about your best friend’s safety.”

“Huh?”

“I’ll put him in the hospital if you don’t agree to go on a date with me.”

How pathetic, you thought.

“Why do you wanna go on a date with me?”

“No more questions, I’ll pick you up on Friday night.”

“How do you know where I live?!”

“I said no more questions.”

Jungkook disappeared and you went home, deciding whether or not to tell your friend what was going on

Friday night came by fast

You hadn’t told your friend because you were sure that he’d tell you not to go to protect you

But you’re stubborn

You got ready and waited in the lobby

“Dumbass, didn’t even give me his number.” You mumbled.

A black Mercedes pulled up in front of your building and Jungkook got out of a car with a boutique of flowers in his hands

Oh, so he’s rich rich, you thought before popping a mint in your mouth and heading outside

“Hello, darling. You look gorgeous.”

“Save your fake compliments. I don’t wanna hear em.”

He poked his tongue on the inside of his cheek at the rejection

You may be tough, but it’ll only take a matter of time to crack you, he thought

He opened the door for you and put the flowers in the backseat before getting back in the drivers seat

The car conversation was typical, it was about school, jobs, hobbies, ect

Once you got to the lavish restaurant, he had booked a private booth were it was quieter

The service was fast and soon enough, your main meal had arrived

You started the conversation, asking him why he was bullying your best friend

“It’s fun.”

You gave him the dirtiest look and held the urge to slap him

“You terrorize people for fucking fun? Go see a therapist. My friend didn’t do anything to you so, leave him alone.”

“Whatever you say, darling. You continue dating me and I’ll do everything that you wish.”

“You said one date!”

“Nope, never said that.”

You look at him, annoyed

“You’re a terrible human being.”

“Funny enough, you’re not the first person to tell me that.”

The rest of the “date” you lectured him and told him to get help

Jungkook started telling people that you were his girlfriend and showed up randomly at you apartment for more dates

But as time went by and you still refused, he began to get frustrated

So when he showed up to your place for a “late night drive” date, he took you out of the city and into a small town with very little people

He’d spiked your fast food drink while you were eating, so getting you into the room and chaining you to the bed was not difficult at all

You’d vanish for one month

You couldn’t exactly be your feisty self because you were chained and at his mercy at all times

At first, he’d only make out with you

Shoving his tongue in your mouth and never pulling away

He’d tangle his fingers in your hair and kiss you hard, making it clear that you were his

He’d have sex with you too and after about three weeks you convinced him that he’d broke you

The first time he took the chain off of you, you went crazy, grabbing a vase with freshly picked flowers and knocking it over his head

You took his car and drove back to the city and called your friend and told him everything that was going on

To protect yourself and your friend, you both decided to leave the country

You’re friend bought the plan tickets and you went to your apartment very quickly to get some of your belongings

The flight left in two days so you practically donated most of your stuff and sold your apartment

Jungkook was in the hospital after a few people citizens had found him unconscious in his home

It took about three days for him to regain consciousness and when he finally did, you were the first thing on his mind

He spent months trying to track you down, you but you were completely gone

Eventually, 3 years had passed

Jungkook’s dad became very ill and had to step down as CEO

Jungkook, of course stepped up and was now running a very big business which required him to travel often

He hadn’t given up on you, he’d figure out what country you’d move to but not which city

When he finally had spotted it, it was coincidentally

Funny enough, you were working for one of his branch companies

You hugged your best friend before going inside the building and to your floor

Jungkook ignored his guards and followed behind

As the elevator door was closing, a hand got in between and it opened again

You looked up from your phone and your heart dropped

It was Jungkook. He just looked a lot older. His features were definitely sharper and his body was a lot bigger

It was only you two in the elevator

Once you snapped back to reality, you tried to leave the elevator but he pulled you back harshly

He pushed the emergency stop button so now you two were trapped

“What? Where are you gonna run now, huh? There’s no vase insight for you to hit me with.”

“I was doing it to protect myself and my friend.”

He towered over you and when you tried to push him off he pinned your hands beside your head

“You’re lucky, you’re so pretty.” His lips were a millimetre away from yours

You were going to speak again but he went in for the kiss

He placed his knee in between your legs and let go of your hands so that he could touch your body

“I’m never gonna let you leave me again.”

He chewed on your top lip and explored your mouth with his tongue and you were too shocked to do anything

He continued making out with you until the elevator started working

Once you were down to the main floor again, he pulled you out and took you to his car

Back at his mansion, he continued what he was doing in the elevator

Playing with your breast, rubbing his bulge on your slit as you arched your back

There wasn’t anything you could do to stop him

He was far more powerful in every aspect and could ruin your life in a blink of an eye

By the next week, he made you sign the marriage papers

You were officially Mrs. Jeon

He threatened to kill your best friend if you didn’t agree

When you broke the news to your best friend, he was mortified

He felt incredibly bad but you assured him that none of it was his fault

But, like before. You began living at Jungkook’s mercy

He was very set on having kids with you

He wanted to be a dad as soon as possible

Every day, after eating dinner, he’d have sex with you

He knew you didn’t want it, but your body responded so well to his touch

Every night, he’d see your tears trickle down

Perhaps from fear? Pleasure? Or maybe both?

Giving you his seed would make him part of your life forever

And he fucking loved the idea of that

[crazycookiecrumbles]

A New Beginning

A/N: I know. I did this one first. I don’t know. I’m gonna regret the lack of sleep in the morning.

Pairing: Shang-Chi x Stark!Reader

Warnings: swearing, blood, broken bones, kidnapping

Summary: Shang-Chi is busy trying to take down a cult terrorizing the Bay area, and you accidentally find yourself a part of it while trying to do your own work.

Tag: @massiveeggsthingcookie, since you expressed u wanted to read it

You were different lately, but Shang-Chi liked it. Apparently, visiting your friends and talking about your relationship with Steve proved to be good for you. He figured it was helping you move on, because you returned to San Francisco with a newfound vigor.

First, you built up a lab in your home. Your basement served a purpose for more ‘top-secret’ work, similar to what your dad had in Malibu. However, you had a new, fairly simple setup in your living room where it was just a giant workbench that brought up both your family’s and SHIELD’s favorite: holograms.

Your next project? Re-assembling the Avengers.

“I don’t know,” you mused over dinner in Katy’s house where you and Shang-Chi were doing dishes together while Katy sat on the counter and managed the both of you by saying ‘great teamwork’ every so often. “I mean. A compound here? It sounds ambitious. I mean, what would I call it, the West Coast Avengers?”

Shang-Chi snorted, “I mean, it gets the point across, doesn’t it?”

“Would that be us?” Katy asked. “Oh my god, are we the West Coast Avengers?”

“You guys need way more training and missions for that, but, sure, tentatively,” you chuckled as you dried the dish your boyfriend handed you.

You had also decided that the compound simply could not be rebuilt. The crater, the destruction left behind, the memories, it just wasn’t going to happen. You were moving on, but you weren’t moving on quite that fast. So, you decided to make that a memorial. Sure, the City had its own memorials littered all over celebrating different Avengers through graffiti, other street art, random sculptures, but you wanted this. Something commemorative, something to remember the sacrifice, something to go back to, when you could stomach it, of course.

Your priority was to rebuild a new facility in New York, but you had been toying with one on the West Coast as well. After all, you did move here, your boyfriend was here, and who knew how many other superheroes were just lurking around here.

“Do you think she’s dead?” Katy asked as she and Shang-Chi walked up the path to your front door. “I mean, she’s been super quiet. I don’t think she said anything in the group chat all day.”

“She’s just working, I hope,” he said in reply. “I mean, I texted Bucky, he said she gets like that, you know. Apparently Iron Man was the same way? Get possessed, work in the lab, be nearly unheard from for too long at a time.”

“So you’re texting The Winter Soldier now?” Katy teased. “Finally, we’ve been roasting you forever.”

Shang-Chi stopped walking, “Hold on. You have a group chat with them?”

“Oh, yeah. It’s me, Sam, Bucky, and (Y/N). We make fun of you a lot.”

“Seriously?!”

“No,” Katy laughed, then cleared her throat. “Anyway, oh, look, the front door. How convenient!”

Katy knocked on the door while Shang-Chi glared at the back of her head. A hidden camera revealed itself above the front door, followed by a voice ordering both parties to look up and state their names. They did as instructed, and the front door opened on its own. Both of them shuddered at how creepy having an AI could be sometimes, and entered your home.

Shang-Chi shut and locked the door behind him. Both of them kicked off their shoes, Katy shouting that they brought dinner as they entered the living room and saw you working. The table had two different holograms being edited in tandem. One was clearly a West Coast facility, and the other seemed to be somewhere in the mountains of New York.

Somehow, you hadn’t noticed them. You were still working, talking to your AI system, and yourself, as you worked through design plans and various possibilities. Shang-Chi shook his head and stood behind you, watching you play with the modeling of a lab facility before he leaned down and kissed the back of your neck. You jumped and laughed as he wrapped an arm around your waist from behind and rested his chin on your shoulder.

“Sorry,” you apologized. “I was on a role.”

“It’s okay,” he chuckled and held your chin to turn your head so he could kiss you on the lips. “Can you take a break? This might be the only time we’re free.”

“Right, right, that cult you guys were dealing with,” You said as you got rid of your work and dropped down on the sofa as Katy put the bags of food on the coffee table, muttering that you two were grossly cute. “How is that going?”

“A weird cult in San Francisco that’s kidnapping people and sacrificing them to a make-believe dark lord,” Katy summarized. “For some reason ,I thought our missions would be more about aliens and gods and stuff.”

“Hey, as far as you know, that dark lord is make-believe. Never know. They might not be crazy, they could be legit,” you pointed out to her before getting up to grab drinks from your kitchen. “How’s it going?”

“We keep missing the core group, “Shang-Chi sighed. “We keep catching the street guys that are kidnapping people, but we can’t seem to find the headquarters where they’re actually doing these crazy gross rituals.”

You frowned as you returned to the living room with drinks. It was obvious how stressed out and tired the two of them were. They were spending all the time they could trying to figure out the base of operations for this cult that was terrorizing the city, but they just couldn’t seem to catch a break.

“I can help, you know,” You offered as you sat down next to Katy. “I can help you guys locate them or take them out.”

“No, we have to!” Katy argued. “It’s kind of our right of passage that we solve this on our own. Like, we’ve got to be able to do shit too.”

“Plus, you’re so busy.  I don’t want to put more work on you,” Shang-Chi added. “And this is good. The Avengers need what you’re doing.”

“Yeah,” you sighed and thanked Katy quietly as she handed you a fork. “We need to be ready for the next fucking stampede of aliens to bitch slap the planet.”

“So, are we getting a West Coast Avengers?” Katy wiggled her eyebrows, “Huh? Huh? Is that happening? Is that a thing?”

“We’ll see,” you laughed. “We need more people for that. But I think I can get New York up and running again. Found a great area, tons of space, the bones are perfect.  Man, I don’t know how dad made it looks so easy.”

“Hey,” Shang-Chi caught your attention with not only his voice, but a balled up paper napkin that he threw at your face making you laugh and throw it back at him. “You’re going to do an amazing job. I trust you.”

“Thanks.”

“So can we make room requests?” Katy blurted out. “I’d like surround sound.”

“Maybe when I’m closer to that part,” You laughed. “Are you guys sure I can’t help with your cult? I feel a little useless.”

“You’ve got enough on your plate,” Shang-Chi told you. “Besides, we can handle this. I know we’re close. We’ll get them.”

You shrugged a shoulder, “Okay. You know where to find me if you need help.”

A few days had passed since you had dinner with Katy and your boyfriend. They were too busy to see you since they realized how close they were to taking down these cultists. You didn’t exactly mind, given that you were swamped in your own work as well. In fact, you were so swamped that you couldn’t really remember the last time you went outside, which was a little concerning, to be honest.

Today was your first day out, as you had met with a realtor after spotting a property you were interested in. You decided that for the West coast, you could start with a tower of some sort, just like you originally had in New York. There was one building in particular with the perfect space, just the right zoning codes, and enough room to even have a landing pad, either for Thor or for aircraft.

After going through such an extensive tour and way, way too much talking with people, you treated yourself to your favorite baked good and beverage from a local cafe. Finding a park bench, you sat down and took one bite of your delicious treat before getting a call.

“Go for the best genius ever,” you said as you answered the phone. “Ew that sounded horrible. I need better openers.”

Shang-Chi chuckled, “You’re cute, (Y/N). Where are you?”

“Outside, just got done with some boring stuff I’ll tell you about later. Realized I haven’t eaten since yesterday, so now I’m just sitting in a park. Why? Need something?”

“Yeah, actually,” he cleared his throat. “How fast can you get home, or maybe my place?”

“Are you in trouble?”

“What? Me? No —“

“Katy?”

“No —“

“Her family —“

“Babe, we’re all fine,” he said quickly. “But I think we pissed them off a little too much. We just took down their last hideout, and I found a picture of the three of us together with your face circled.”

You laughed loudly, “Are you serious? I’m jealous.”

He balked, “Are you insane?”

“Come on! That’s so old school. It’s funny! Honey, my last round was aliens and shit. I’d kill for regular old human thugs. They’re so funny — okay, human sacrifice isn’t funny, but — look, they sound cartoonish. Anyway, I’d like to see them try to take me down. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, I’m bad ass.”

“Oh, no, I know that. Trust me, I’m well aware of what you’re capable of,” he explained. “And while I do always want you to be safe and careful and never to be harmed in any way…”

“…Yes?”

“I think if they’re following you, Katy and I can follow them by using you.”

You cooed, “Look at my man! Avengering.”

“Is that an actual verb?”

“I don’t know,” you shrugged and stood up, quickly scarfing down your food and grabbing your drink as you walked out of the park. “Okay. I’m closer to your house. I can head that way and you can tail me. Wow, I’m proud of you.”

He laughed and shook his head, a faint blush tickling his cheeks just hearing your kind words, “It’s not that big a deal, (Y/N). You don’t think I’m awful for using my girlfriend as bait?”

“Your girlfriend is a world-ending bad ass. Using her as bait in this scenario isn’t too bad,” you said. “Besides, I’ve got way too many bait stories. We’ve all done it. Actually, one time, Clint lost a bet, so he—“

You paused feeling vibrations coming particularly close to you. Usually, you ignored it because you were out in public and there were always people around, but you had been on a quiet street, and the vibrations felt like a fast-beating heart and rapid footsteps attempting to be quiet.

“Hey, (Y/N), did I lose you?” He asked frantically.

You pursed your lips, “Track my phone.”

As soon as you said that you felt a pinch in your neck. You muttered to yourself something completely incoherent like ‘what a nice cotton candy sky’ as the last thing you saw while falling to the ground was the clouds in the sky.

Shang-Chi quickly climbed back into the car and told Katy to start driving as he started fidgeting with his phone.

“What happened? Where am I going?”

“I don’t know—go near the park.”

“Do you know how many there are?”

“Look, I was talking to (Y/N), she told me to track her call, and then I heard her fall and mumble. It was weird. I think they got her.”

Katy raised an eyebrow, “They got the jump on her? What, was she not paying attention or?”

“She knew,” he muttered. “I think she went along with it so we could find their base. Damn it — I should not have suggested the idea of bait.”

“Your girlfriend almost wrecked Sam’s house in, like, seconds. So I think she can take care of herself,” Katy reminded him. “Do you know how to track her phone?”

“Not at all —“

“Ugh, give me,” Katy snatched the phone out of his hand and started playing with it while driving.

“Katy, eyes on the road!”

“Dude, when you can drive like I can with both hands and eyes on the road when I only need one hand, sometimes, and an occasional eye, then you can tell me how to drive,” she retorted as she fiddled with his phone. “What would you do without me, man?”

“You did it?”

“Almost, she keeps moving so it’s making it harder to find her. We’ll have a better idea when they stop, but I can get a general direction and location first,” Katy said. “Don’t worry. We’ll find her. Or she’ll find us. Either way, I’m super excited.”

“Why?”

Katy scoffed like it was the most obvious thing in the world, “We get to see an Avenger in action. This is the greatest day ever. I mean, aside from her getting kidnapped.”

His phone rang later on, and when he saw it was your picture flashing across the screen, he brought the phone to his ear faster than he thought possible, “Where is she?”

A voice laughed on the other end, “Where is your pretty, pretty girlfriend? Well, she’s a little tied up at the moment.”

He gritted his teeth, “Put her on the phone, now.”

“You don’t trust me?” He giggled and it made Shang-Chi’s skin crawl at how demented this man sounded. “Please, I’m a man of honor. She is alive and well, she’s just waiting to see you. We’re all waiting to see you, actually.”

“Then put her on the phone now!”

You woke up on your own. You took a moment to assess yourself. Your hands were duct-taped behind your back, ankles duct-taped to the legs of the chair, and now you had a crick in your neck that was going to be painfully irritating for the next few days. Your mouth was dry and your lips were cracked, but overall? You were totally fine.This was suspiciously easy!

That only meant one thing: they had no fucking idea who you were.

The thought made you smile, and you were sure you looked just as creepy as the people surrounding you, all shrouded in black cloaks with an orange stripe going down the center of each and every person, minus someone holding the phone who wore an orange cloak. He approached you slowly, a cold hand running down the side of your face and grabbing your chin forcefully before holding the phone to your ear.

“Your lover wants to know how you’re doing. I’m sure you’ll tell him we’ve treated you with the utmost respect,”

“…I take it back, this is just pathetic,” you muttered under your breath as you recalled your earlier conversation with your boyfriend. You sighed heavily, “Shang-Chi?”

“Hey,” he said quickly. “Are you all right? Are you hurt?”

“I’m so great,” You confessed. “They have no idea who I am. This is so easy. I see about eight people left, I guess that’s your doing.” Your attention shifted to the man before you, “My boyfriend took a lot of your crew out, huh? That’s why you kidnapped me? Revenge?” You mused and looked up at the man holding the phone.

He was not amused. He struck you across the face hard enough to draw blood. You smirked to yourself, ran your tongue along your bottom lip, and split blood out by his feet.

“Hey! Stop being such a smart ass for a second,” Shang-Chi said quickly. “Katy’s tracking you right now. With her driving, we can be there…five minutes tops.”

You hummed and stared up at the evil bastard before you, “I think I’ll be done by then.”

Shang-Chi sighed as he listened to Katy, “She really, really wants you to wait. She wants to see.”

“No promises.”

“Baby,” Shang-Chi said quickly. “Careful, please.”

“Oh, honey.” You chuckled, “I’m going to show you how I get things done.”

You nodded to the man who ended the phone call and tossed your phone to the ground behind him. Boredly, you leaned back and smiled, “So. Do you want me to kill all of them and leave you alive? Or do you all want to suffer in prison together?”

He laughed, followed by the rest of the cultists as they prepared for a fight, “You think your boyfriend is a match for us?”

“First of all, eight of you? Please, this is easy work for him,” You scoffed. “But it’s even easier for me.”

The building shook, causing murmurs of an earthquake. You wore a sinister smile on your face as you made the building shake more and more, beams falling down around them, one of them impaling a cultist through his leg and pinning him to the ground. You vibrated your bindings until they turned to dust around your limbs. You stood up and stretched your arms out, your right arm firing a blast that sent one man through the brick of the building and launching him outside. You raised your left hand and vibrated the knife in the cultist’s hand to the point where it disintegrated and fell through his fingertips before you blasted him back as well.

Your eyes settled on the man in the orange cloak as you wiped your hands together and cracked your fingers, “So, figure out what you wanted to do yet?”

The car came to a screeching halt when an orange-cloaked body came flying into the windshield and rolled down the hood of the car. Katy and Shang-Chi sat there with mouths wide open in shock before it clicked what they had just seen. They scrambled out of the car and checked on the man to see if he was dead.

“Out cold,” Katy remarked. It dawned on her, “Aw, dude, she didn’t wait!”

Shang-Chi turned his head, and he was so mesmerized by you. He definitely was not used to the Avenger part of you. When he caught sight of you, you were walking through rubble. The entire building had fallen down around you. He could see cultists laying around, stuck under chunks of concrete and brick, some with beams piercing their bodies and pinning them to the ground. Then there was the leader, who was groaning about broken bones as he lay on the concrete with blood pouring from his every opening where a bone was poking through.

You were completely fine, aside from a small cut on your lip and some dust on your clothes. You walked towards him and waved, a warm smile gracing your features as Shang-Chi ran up to you and stared at you in disbelief.

“You’re okay?” He asked, then shook his head. “I mean, of course you’re okay. I know you — I know you’re a total bad ass. It’s just—“

“Seeing’s a little different than just hearing about it,” You finished as you smoothed down the front of his shirt. “I’m completely fine.The perfect stress relief for all this rebuilding work.”

He snorted and wrapped his arms around you tightly, his face burying in the crook of your neck as he held you close. You smiled softly and draped your arms over his shoulders, the two of you rocking side by side as you embraced. “I know you’re an extreme badass,” he began quietly whispering in your ear, “but hearing you get taken like that — it terrified me.”

“I know,” you sighed. “And I’m sure it didn’t help that I treated it like a game, but, I mean, I knew I’d be okay. You don’t have to worry about me all the time, Shang-Chi. I can take care of myself.”

“I know,” he muttered. “but just so you know? You don’t have to do it alone now.”

“Oh?”

“Nope,” he said quietly, “And you know what?”

“What?”

“You saving yourself and taking out everyone?” He whispered,  lips tickling the shell of your ear, “Really, really hot.”

You giggled and pulled away to cup his cheek. You had intended on leaning in to kiss him, but you were interrupted by Katy clearing her throat. You glanced over his shoulder and saw her standing with one foot on the cult leader’s back, arms crossed over chest, a disgruntled look on her face.

“Really, (Y/N) couldn’t wait for us to get here before you had to be all bad ass and stuff?”

You chuckled, “I’m sorry, Katy. Tell ya what, next time, I’ll wait. Okay?”

“Yes! Thank you, sheesh! That’s all I’m asking for here.”

Shang-Chi shook his head over Katy’s antics and cupped the side of your face as he wanted to get your attention at the moment. When you turned your head he pressed his lips against yours before pulling away and kissing you on your cheek, and then bringing up your hand to kiss the top of it, “Well, now that you’ve solved my case, why don’t we go —“

“Work off that pent up adrenaline you have?” you smirked.

He blinked twice. That was not what he was going to say. He was going to say get cleaned up, order a pizza, and snuggle and watch movies.

But this? This was a great idea.

“Yup!” He nodded quickly, “Yup. That was exactly my plan. Yes, absolutely. Let’s go burn some adrenaline together. Yes.”

[shmaptainwrites]

Bestie, I know your requests are closed, but when there open again, we need a part two to ‘you hung the moon’ where maybe the team meets the r at the office how many years later when she goes to see Hotch, and she’s still as happy as ever, and it’s basically all fluff.

Okay this was sent in ages ago but I always loved the idea and I finally wrote a teeny blurb for it 😁

Pairings: Aaron Hotchner x fem!Reader

Warnings: pregnancy, alcohol mention

You Hung the Moon

Imaginary Wife

“So Hotch, are we ever going to get to meet the missus?” Derek asked with a raised brow.

“What is with you and your guys’ concern about my wife?” Aaron asked, quite playfully.

“Well we’ve worked with you for years man and I’ve never seen her, I’m not entirely sure she exists,”

“Morgan, I have my wedding picture on my desk,” he countered.

“I think Derek’s right,” JJ added. “That could just be photoshopped, Garcia could’ve done it for you,”

Aaron rolled his eyes at his younger co-workers, you were definitely very real.

“You know there’s an easy solution to all this,” Rossi waved his hand about. “Why don’t we all have dinner at my place, tomorrow,”

“Dave,” Aaron pressed his lips in a thin line. “I-I’m not too sure that’s a great idea,”

“Why not? It’s a fantastic idea!” he exclaimed. “Plus I’ve already met her what’s the big deal,”

“It’s just (Y/N)’s got to be a little careful with what she eats right now I don’t really want to make it too complicated-,”

“Wait, you married a dieter?” Now Penelope was in on the conversation. “How does she do it?”

“Garcia she’s not a dieter, she’s-,”

“Hey pretty boy!”

Out of instinct, Derek turned around, but was met with an unfamiliar face entering the bullpen, all the while Aaron seemed to have the biggest smile on his.

You walked straight up to him, placing a forgotten lunch on the table before he stood up to greet you with a kiss.

“Hi, pretty lady. We were just talking about you,”

“Oh really?”

You looked over at the rest of the team and waved to which a few of them, mouths agape waved back.

“Mhmm, they didn’t think you were real since they hadn’t met you yet,”

“It’s like you with the dishes,” you joked. “As long as you can’t see them they don’t exist,”

That made him chuckle and the whole group of profilers thought that somehow you had kidnapped their boss and taken him to an alternate dimension and replaced him with whoever this was.

“And Garcia, as I was saying she’s not a dieter, she’s just-,”

“Pregnant,” you finished.

As if it wasn’t obvious you did have about five months worth of belly to prove it.

“So you’ve all met her now we don’t have to do this dinner thing,” Aaron seemed very pleased with himself but you had different thoughts.

“Dinner? Aaron, that would be nice,” you hummed. “I haven’t gotten much of a chance to get to know you all yet,”

Before Aaron could say anything Dave interjected.

“We could get together at my place tomorrow,” he said. “You can call me and let me know what you can and can’t eat,”

“Awesome, thank you Dave,” you smiled. “Well, as much as I would love to stick around I bolted over here on my lunch break,” you sighed. “I’ve got about thirty, nine-year-olds waiting to learn about multiplication,”

“Thank you for bringing this,” Aaron pointed to the bagged lunch before giving you a smooch.

He then bent down so he was at eye level with your stomach pressing a sweet little kiss to its centre to say goodbye to your baby.

Once he came back up you stole one last kiss before heading back out towards the door.

“Bye pretty boy,”

“I love you pretty lady,” he waved back and as soon as the elevator doors closed the shock of the team dissipated and there was a cacophony of arguments.

“Okay so not only is she real she’s also pregnant?!” Derek exclaimed. “Hotch when were you going to tell us? When your kid turns five?”

“And since when do you use pet names?” JJ asked.

“Since always?” he shrugged. “I’ve known her since the summer before I started college,”

“But you’re so-so different with her than at work?” Penelope frowned. “It’s like there’s two Hotchs,”

“Garcia, that’s called being professional,” Aaron chuckled a little. “Look, you met her and you’re going to see her again tomorrow so why don’t you save some of your questions for then,”

“Okay, but one more,” Dave chimed in. “Is it a boy or a girl?”

“A girl,” Aaron smiled. His little girl that he had no doubt would look exactly like her mama.

—

“Aaron your shoulders are so tense, loosen up a bit,” you came behind your husband and gave him a squeeze before pressing a kiss between his shoulder blades.

“I’m allowed to be stressed (N/N), as much as I love the team they can-,”

“Be a bit much? Pretty boy, I’m an elementary school teacher who’s pregnant. A bit much is how I live my life,” you teased, turning him around and undoing his tie and tossing it on the bed before unbuttoning his collar. “Much better,” you smiled. “Lose the jacket too,”

He sighed, but listened to your instructions, unable to hide his smile. One thing that had never changed for worse between you both was how much he loved you. If anything each day he found reasons to love you more.

“What do you think?” you asked, motioning to your own outfit,a long flowy maternity dress with a cardigan overtop. For jewelry you were wearing a matching set of earrings and a necklace that Aaron had bought you for your anniversary along with your wedding ring, something Aaron was thankful to have inherited from his mother’s side of the family especially since getting married in a college student’s budget was already tight.

“You look amazing as usual,” he smiled. “What does the baby think? Are mommy and daddy good to go?” he asked, wrapping his hands around your stomach and feeling a faint kick.

“I think our sweet little girl thinks we’re ready,” you laughed. “Come on, let’s go before I have to drag you over to Dave’s,”

Aaron rolled his eyes and you prepared to leave the house together, getting into the car and driving off to, as you liked to call it, Rossi manor.

“Hey look who’s here, the guest of honour,” Dave greeted when you walked into the house.

“Oh please,” you chuckled, giving the man a hug. “How are you?”

“Not too bad, although one more minute alone with those guys and I might’ve had to take drastic measures.”

That made you giggle and you looked over to Aaron who shook his head and handed Dave the gift you had brought for that night.

“Wine, yes they really do not need more of that so I’m going to hide it,” Dave said. “But I did get you a non alcoholic one, it was Caroline’s favourite when she was expecting,”

“Thanks Dave you really didn’t have to-,”

“See look I told you we totally met her, she’s real,” Penelope pointed over to you and pushed one of the team members you hadn’t yet met in your direction.

“Hi,” you laughed, “I’m the imaginary wife and mother of his child,”

“I’m Emily,” she shook your outstretched hand and you looked over to see if there was anyone else you hadn’t met.

“And you haven’t met this guy either,” Derek said, pointing to who you assumed Aaron had told you was Spencer. “I know you call that one pretty boy,” he motioned to Aaron. “But Reid’s the pretty boy of our office,”

Introductions were down and you thought things had started smoothly, even though Aaron seemed to be extremely protective of you which you found odd given he had told you that he trusted his team with his life on many occasions.

Dinner was ready shortly after and you all made your way to the dining room where you started to chat and eat, exchanging both office and home life stories.

“So how did you guys meet?” JJ inquired. “Hotch tells us it was the summer before college but that’s about all we can get from him,”

“Well he’s not lying,” you started. “Are you sure you don’t wanna tell it?” you looked over at Aaron and asked him.

“I can tell if you want me to,” he nodded.

“Please do, you share it much better than I can,”

Aaron put down his fork and knife before wiping his hands with a napkin and figuring out where to start.

You loved listening to him share the story of how you met and fell in love because he shared the small things, the little details you never knew he had picked up on, and it really did show how well you knew each other and how far along you had come.

The team listened attentively as he shared, the story coming close to your favourite part, how he proposed.

“So I took her up to that favourite spot of hers, right outside of town. We had a small picnic dinner, nothing super special considering we were on a tight budget already, but after the sun set and the stars came out I took out my grandmother’s wedding ring and asked her to marry me,” he smiled fondly over at you while you squeezed his hand under the table. “Still the best decision of my life,”

“So you got married when you were twenty?” Penelope asked.

You nodded.

“Then why have you kept her a secret all this time?” Derek joked.

“I wouldn’t call it a secret,” Aaron offered.

“He’s just protective of me. Always has been,” you interjected. “And now with the baby he really doesn’t wanting me touching Quantico with a ten foot pole,”

That earned a laugh from the table and conversation continued. You leaned over and pressed a quick discreet kiss to Aaron’s cheek.

“What was that for?”

“A thank you for telling my favourite story, pretty boy,” you grinned.

“Anytime pretty lady, really,” he smiled. “Anytime,”