#oh this became a lot longer than i expected

[sunshinem0ths]

in the middle of my first mcd rewatch since i was 13, and though ive not yet finished season one i HAVE been looking at some fan content on here and ao3 and i cannot stop thinking about garroth and his relationship to irene, and subsequently how that would realistically affect his relationship with aphmau.

garroth, raised his whole life under the oppressive hand of a father who twisted irene's image so much that it became one of rigid, calculated monarchy. one kingdom, one will, guided by the light of the matron herself. garroth, whose brother, the high priest, uses a mask of faith and holiness to hide his true, sinister intentions. gleefully scorning her name under his breath, almost proud of how openly he bastardizes irene's image and somehow always gets away with it.

garroth, faking his death to escape a future where he willingly perpetuates this terrible cycle of oppression and lies all in the service of the ro'meave name; in the service of self. garroth, escaping to live in the service of others, to protect and honour the institutions the real irene fought to create. even still, his feelings towards his faith are muddied and his severance from the church leaves a gap in his life where there once was a steady hand, however cold and iron its grip. when zenix, his apprentice and first true friend he's ever had, betrays him, a cruel voice in his mind tells him that it is punishment for straying.

coming to serve aphmau as she ascends to the role of lord of phoenix drop is reassurance. it is the fulfilment of everything he's aspired to do. the reincarnation of lady irene, now living flesh and blood before him instead of ink on paper or towering quartz statues. she doesn't know it yet, but he does. he knows it in the way his body naturally wants to gravitate around her like the earth around the sun. he can feel his life's purpose reborn within her, he feels its ambient warmth when he stands by her side. through her lordship, he is vindicated. this is irene's will, not the tyrannical lie his father has fed him, his brothers, and all of o'khasis for decades. if one could call zenix his punishment for straying from his faith, aphmau is his chance for redemption.

it's also terrifying. it's all-consuming. her light is so bright it blinds him and he can't make out whether what he feels is truly love or the natural awe and devotion any good servant of the matron would feel towards their lady. one part of him extols aphmau, rejoices that all of his prayers for a saviour have been answered. she is not only holy but kind, and optimistic, and generous. she's touchable, though he would never dare admit out loud to even thinking about that. another part of him fears her, despairs at the notion that this is proof that he never could truly escape his duty. his very life is bound to irene, whatever her will is. no matter how much he struggles against it, he is fated to always defer to a power much higher and much older than him. free will was never an option, and never will be.

so garroth doubles down. he bows his head and kneels before aphmau, believes unflinchingly in her cause, stomps down and denies any doubt or cowardice he feels, even when it begins to seep into his actions and his words, as per his undeniable weakness. he will throw himself in harm's way for her, he won't allow the only hope for ru'ann to come to harm. he'll provide for her, he'll follow her anywhere, he'll protect her and her son and he'll never ask for anything in return. he'll content himself with admiring from afar and leaving small, subtle tokens of his affections, like an acolyte presenting offerings at a shrine. or, more fittingly, a loyal dog leaving detritus and small, dead things on its owner's stoop. he reigns his emotions with a swiftness that only comes from years of straightening his back and biting his tongue out of self-preservation, because he knows that she is not his to have.

but he, of course, has always, always been hers.

[aroaceleovaldez]

I really like the idea that for the first few months of them hanging out post-HoO, Will had no idea Nico had stayed at CHB before. He was under the impression that Nico was more or less new to camp, since he had been a rogue demigod, and that he had just been an ally of CHB up until that point who had been to the camp but had never been a camper. The entire time Will just assumed he was the senior camper between the two of them, not knowing Nico had actually joined camp almost a whole two years prior to him and was instead returning.

Nico eventually realizes Will’s misconception and tries to explain it, but Will thinks Nico is messing with him until Nico explains the crack in the dining pavilion (which no one at camp besides Percy knows the origins of, save for maybe Annabeth, Grover, and Chiron) was from him the night he ran away (and maybe also shows Will his camp beads to further prove he’s not making it up, depending on if you believe he has one from BoTL or not). Will then gets to have the fun little journey of recontextualizing everything he knows about Nico.

[clockwayswrites]

City Pigeons Part 12 CW: blood, past trauma and experimentation

Jason could almost go to sleep. He wouldn’t, not when he was the only Bat in the apartment, but it would be so easy to. Danny made a really good weighted blanket.

It seemed once the kid got over touching someone, he basically became a koala. Cass and Danny had spent the morning wrapped around each other on the couch. Cass was playing one of her weird clicking games and Danny, blue bear in his lap, was scrolling through articles on the tablet that Tim had brought him the other day.

Now, though, Cass was out on a snack run and Danny had slowly slumped over until he was laying across Jason. It wasn’t minded. Jason could admit he still had some trouble with touch himself, but it was easy to be there for Danny like this.

The problem was, Jason needed to get back to Crime Alley for at least a few nights. He was already past when Red Hood should have made an appearance. It he didn’t go back soon, rumors were going to start that he was dead. Again.

Jason waited for Danny to start searching for a new article to read to ask, “Are you alright with meeting someone soon?”

He didn’t expect Danny to tense like he did.

“Robin?”

“No, Dandelion,” Jason said, stroking Danny’s white hair. “N talked with Robin and he knows not to stop by like that without warning. We’ll have him over when you’re comfortable but not before.”

“Okay. Sorry. I don’t mean to…”

“None of that. He freaked you out,” Jason said. “I know he didn’t mean to, and from our guess it’s not his fault how he feels like to you, but that doesn’t mean he didn’t. It’s okay to set boundaries.”

“He… doesn’t feel weird to you?”

Jason sighed. “No. I guess I don’t sense it. I didn’t know you had died until you told me.”

“Oh.” Danny’s voice was small and quiet.

“But I knew that I had died— the others know it’s too,” Jason was quick to add. “It’s alright that you died. No one will think differently of you.”

“They might. It’s… you’re different than me, I guess.”

“I don’t know, because I don’t know what happened to you, but I actually hope so. The way I came back wasn’t pleasant.” Jason had to take a breath before he continued. “I was murdered by a rogue in town called the Joker. I woke up… we’re still not sure when exactly, but somewhere about half a year later. I didn’t have any of my memories, but I still had most of my injuries.

“I was picked up by some people you might hear us refer to— the League of Assassins. They put me back together about a year after my death by tossing me in something called the Lazarus Pits. Those things come with a price though, one that I’m still paying. Coming back was… hard, in a lot of ways.”

“Oh,” Danny said. He clung a little to Jason’s shirt, like he wanted to make sure Jason was still there. It was a feeling Jason understood all too well. “I, um, don’t think I’ve ever stayed really dead for more than a minute or two. At least not like… not like you were.”

Jason rested his hand on Danny’s back, feeling him breath. Feeling him… feeling him not breathe.

“…Danny?”

Danny clung tighter to Jason’s shirt. “Go ahead, ask.”

“Are you… somewhat dead right now?”

“Yes.”

Just one word. A simple answer.

“Okay. That’s— okay. I’m glad there’s a reason that you’re not breathing,” Jason said and pressed a kiss to the top of Danny’s head as he tried to calm his own pounding heart.

“I think B.B. knows. I usually… it’s habit to breath but sometimes I forget and—”

“She’s good at noticing things.” Jason would have to talk with her. “But that goes to what I said, right? None of the others will thinking of you differently.”

“Even if…”

“Even if anything.”

Danny sat up and Jason resisted the urge to reach for him. It took him a moment longer to release Jason’s shirt. Jason sat up slowly and waited for Danny to get the words out he was obviously working on.

“Can I show you?”

“Course.” Jason braced himself for anything.

“It might be bright, close your eyes.”

The flash still shown through Jason’s eyelids.

“Oh.” Danny’s voice wavered horribly. “I didn’t think of that.”

“Danny?” Jason was reaching forward even as he opened his eyes.

It was good he did.

He had to catch Danny as he wavered dangerously. Danny’s who hair was black. Who’s eyes were blue. Who looked all the more like Bruce’s son. Who was bleeding red.

-

“Jesus and Mother Mary,” Dick cursed, resting his forehead against his wrist’s.

Cass came over and peeled the bloody gloves off for him. “Breathe.”

“I am breathing,” Dick wheezed.

“Badly.”

Jason barked out a laugh at that. It was unstable in a way that reminded the room of worse days.

The door banged open and they all jolted, everyone but Cass, who was better than that, and Danny who was still out cold.

“Shit, fuck, sorry,” Tim rambled. “Is he stable?”

“Yes,” Cass answered. Her voice was calm, but but Duke could see the way that she fidgeted. For anyone else it wouldn’t be called fidgeting, but the way that she untied and retied and untied the trash bag in his visions told Dick otherwise.

Cass was as worried as the rest of them.

“Signal?” Tim asked. He came into the room, tablet already pulled up to record everything.

“Hard for me to say,” Duke said with a little shrug. He wished he could say, but he was still trying to understand what he was seeing. “The guy is… he’s like no one I’ve ever seen before. But I think he’s getting stronger.”

“That’s— holy fuck.” Tim paused as he finally got a look at Danny.

“Really looks like the old man like this, doesn’t he?” Jason asked. He was trying to hide how his hands were trembling by keeping his arms crossed. Everyone in the room let him pretend.

Duke sure wouldn’t have wanted to be the one Danny collapsed on like that. It was bad enough being the third one there as he swung over from his patrol. The cuts had still been appearing on Danny’s skin, ripping him apart like he was nothing.

He didn’t look much better all bandaged up.

“I think the cuts were ones he must have sustained before changing forms before he even met us,” Duke reasoned. “They… felt old.”

Dick rubbed at his face. “So the whole time they were there just waiting to bleed?”

Jason laughed again. “Waiting for him to be alive again.”

Slowly, Dick dropped his hands and looked up at Jason. “Jay?”

Okay, so they were at the point of forgetting cape-names now. That was a great sign.

Confusingly, Jason looked to Cass, who actually fidgeted.

“He doesn’t breathe. He does, not always. His heart beats, not always. It is like he…,” she twisted her hand as if trying to grab onto the right word. “Like he relaxes and forgets.”

Well that was weird. Dick nodded to the monitor that he had helped hook up. “He’s breathing right now and the monitor says his heartbeat is hella slow, but steady.”

“This is his alive form, I think. More alive form,” Jason said with a shrug. “His other form is his more dead form. He said he’s never stayed ‘really dead’ like I was. I think ‘really’ was the important word in that. He stressed it like it was… a technically or some shit.”

“Or a loophole,” Tim said. He was watching Danny with his head tilted just slightly to the right.

It was a pose that had Duke straightening up in attention. “What do you see that I can’t?”

Tim glanced at him and then back down at Danny. “The scars don’t match.”

“Ti—Red, please just say it,” Dick pleaded, exhaustion hanging on his words.

“Sorry, I was. I mean, the scars he has now don’t exactly match the scars he had in his— what are we calling it? Dead form?”

Jason flinched.

Dick’s eyes flicked from Jason to Tim. “Let’s go with… ghost. Undead, you know?”

Tim continued on valiantly. “His scars don’t match with what he had in his ghost form. There are a few like around his neck that I think are one-to-one and a lot of them are in the same place from what I can see and might be the same? I’d have to take photos and compare. But… he has more in this living form, I’m sure of it.”

“Okay, right, so that’s a thing,” Jason said. He slid down the wall he was leaning against until he was squatting. He hung his head between his knee and wrapped his hands around the back of his neck.

Duke could see Jason passing out with enough probability that he slipped out of the room to grab some sour candy for Jason and an icepack for the back of his neck. Being honest with himself, Duke could use the moment out of the room. It was a lot to deal with.

Man, someone would have to do something about the bloody couch too… Dick sighed and took the time to send a message to Babs about it as well as an update. Knowing her she had a list of all the furniture in all the safe houses and could get a slipcover ordered on same day delivery. At least he hoped so. Everyone was taking this pretty hard and they didn’t need the reminder.

Duke figured the bad reaction was pretty fair though, they had thought that Danny was getting better and now his healing was going to be set back. Dick would be guilty because he hadn’t been here, Jason going through his issues about kids and violence and death, and Cass already counted Danny as family. She was never good when family was hurt. It was even worse that Danny should have been safe, he was under their watch.

Duke set the pack of candy and ice pack down next to Jason’s foot, close enough that he should be able to feel the cold, and backed up to his corner. It was best not to touch right then. He wasn’t afraid of Jason ever hurting him purposefully, but he was also very aware for Jason it might not always be purposeful.

Cass joined him, leaning against his side, and Duke wrapped an arm around her. Tim was tapping away on his tablet, mostly muttering to himself, but Dick had gotten up to peer over his shoulder.

Jason tore open the packet of candies and popped one in his mouth.

They’d be okay.

It would take work, but they were Bats. They were stubborn.

Dukes wrist buzzed. The tracking number for slipcover flashed across his hud. It would be there by 9 pm.

They’d be okay.

-

Everything hurt. Everything ached all the way down through his skin and muscled and bones. His breath caught in his chest, ragged and frayed like his lungs were full of shattered glass.

He tried not to make a noise.

He tried to stay quiet.

They would notice him if he made a noise. He couldn’t take any more attention. He didn’t think he’d survive more attention. God, that thought was almost enough to kill him. Once he would have done anything for his parents attention and now—

There was a hand in his hair. It was gentle.

Oh, he was crying.

“…going to be okay. We have you, Dandelion, and we’re not letting them touch you ever again. The two Reds will make sure it can never happen again. Once you’re better they’ll take a little road trip.”

That was… that wasn’t… a sob broke through Danny’s lips and he didn’t stop it. He didn’t even try.

He wasn’t there.

He could make noises.

He was safe.

“Danny? Hey, are you awake.”

Danny nodded as much as he could manage.

“Hey there,” Nightwing said, voice so kind that it just made Danny cry harder. “Can you open your eyes for me?”

Danny shook his head.

“Okay, that’s okay, thank you for answering me Danny. How’s the pain? Um, squeeze my hand once if it’s okay, twice if it’s really bad.”

Danny squeezed it three times.

“Really, really bad, huh? Okay. Okay… we can give you some pain meds through your IV. We have you on a saline drip because you looked really bad. We didn’t want to give you any meds without your consent though. Are you alright with some pain medication? Once for yes, twice for no.”

One squeeze.

“Okay, let me go—”

Danny clung to Nightwing’s hand a tightly at he could. His breath stuttered around the glass.

“Not leaving, Dandelion. I’m going to text Red Robin, okay? He’s in the living room. Hood and B.B are out… running an errand. They’ll be back soon. I’ll text Red and he’ll bring the pain meds.”

Danny nodded. Nightwing shifted around, but didn’t let go of Danny’s hand. The breathing calmed, got easier. Danny let out a slow breath.

“Hey Danny,” a new voice said. “The medication will make you feel fuzzy and maybe disoriented. You’ll probably sleep a lot. We don’t want you to wake up panicked. Is there anything we can do to help you know you’re here with us and safe?”

“Bear,” Danny croaked. He wet his lips and tried to continue. “Smells that aren’t… Touch. Warmth.”

“Red will get your teddy bear as soon as the meds are hooked up and we’ll work on the other things. One of us will always be here with you,” Nightwing said.

Danny squeezed his hand again.

“Okay. We won’t leave you alone, Danny, we’ll keep you safe. You’ll be okay.”

Danny trusted that.

It was surprising.

He didn’t think he could trust anymore, but Danny trusted that, trusted them.

The warmth of that thought followed him back into the black.

---

AN: This all Danny's fault, not mine! He decided to reveal his form early and then... welp.....

...Stay delightful, darlings?

[wonderlandwalker]

First Impressions | Eddie Munson x Reader

Stranger Things Masterlist / Inbox

Summary: Eddie learns that Dustin has a recently reunited sister, and from the moment he meets you he's a goner.

Content Warnings / Tags: Pure fluff, henderson!reader, tiny mention of a fight but nothing descriptive, not edited, no use of y/n

Word Count: 1.4k

A/N: Eddie brain rot cause I couldn't keep it in. Don't know if this is my best work but I'm planning to write more chapters on this so it's just a start, hope you like it

“You need a ride home after this?” It was more of a formality than an actual question, he always drove Dustin home after a session.

“Oh that’s okay, my sister is picking me up.” Dustin didn’t even look up from packing his things away, but Eddie’s head shot up.

“Your- you have a sister, since when?” As far as he knew Dustin was an only child, but now he was wrecking his brain trying to think if he had ever mentioned you before.

“I know you’re bad at math Eddie, but I just told you she’s driving so try and put the pieces together.” Dustin was looking up at him now, challenging him.

“Alright smartass, it’s time for you to shut up.” He told him as he ruffled through his hair, leaving behind an agitated Dustin trying frantically to fix it. 

The others had already gone home, but Dustin stayed behind late to help Eddie finish up, a habit that became more and more common as the two grew closer. When they finished packing up Eddie locked the door behind them, and while walking to the parking lot decided he wasn’t quite done interrogating Dustin.

“If you have an older sister, how come I've never seen her around before?”

“I mean she’s been around during holidays before, she lived with dad though but they had a big fight so she’s moved here.” It seemed like a sore topic, so Eddie dropped it for now.

As they got to the entrance of the school and felt the cool air on their skin Eddie indeed noticed another car in the usually empty lot, and you were sitting on the hood of it, a book in your hands as you patiently waited. The last rays of sunshine graced your figure as if the heavens themselves were blessing you, and Eddie had never been so sure he’d seena goddess in his life. It was just like the tales he knew so well, the ones he still devoted his life to, it was as if they were becoming true. You looked up when you heard them approach, smiling at the sight of them and giving Dustin a quick side hug as they reached you.

“It’s nice to meet you, I’ve heard a lot of good things.” You held your hand out for Eddie to take, but all he could do was look at it, staring ahead as if hitting pause in a game, he stood still. He wanted to react, to not make the most horrible first impression possible, but the longer he looked at you the worse it got, getting lost in sight of your smile. “Alright, not a fan of handshakes, notes.” You chuckled as you withdrew your hand, and Eddie cursed himself for not having taken the opportunity to feel how soft your skin must’ve been. You looked at him again, your eyes piercing straight through his soul and he wondered if maybe he had found himself in one of his fantasy worlds, he must have. But the next second he shook himself out of it, because you were real, you were real and in front of him and expecting him to say something.

“I’m Eddie.” he said, nodding his head as if to confirm his own statement.

“So I’ve been told.” Another giggle slipped past your lips, and Eddie wasnt sure if it was from nerves or entertainment, but he was dying to hear more of it, even if he had to make a fool of himself to do so.

Dustins head kept going back and forth as if watching a tennis match of idiocracy. He had never seen Eddie so flustered, so used to the man flaunting with every opportunity that presented itself that this seemed quite out of character. In full disclosure, it was kind of freaking him out to see Eddie so beside himself, and it was freaking him out even further that he couldn’t figure out why. It was probably blatantly obvious to anyone else, but maybe it was for the best that Dustin couldn’t place where the tension originated from, either way, his patience had run out

“Can we go home now, I still have to call Mike to discuss our net strategies” You tore your eyes from Eddie, deciding that maybe it was for the best to head home.

“Yeah alright, maybe I’ll see you around Eddie.” You gave him one last smile as you got in the car with Dustin and drove off, but it took him another minute to pick his shambled ego up from the concrete ground as he berated himself for not being able to utter one coherent sentence. As he got in his van and drove home as well he decided he’d have to grill Dustin for more information on you the next time he’d see him. As he got to the trailer he grumbled a hello to Wayne before disappearing to his room, ignoring the backhanded comment he got about his grumpy disposition. 

He wondered if he’d ever be able to convince you he was cool, whether he’d be able to get you to agree to see him again, but after what just transpired he figured the odds were slim. Not that he’d give up so easily, he didn’t have much of a reputation to lose and if he’d be able to get you to laugh again that would be more than enough. But he didn’t get to wonder for long as Wayne knocked on his door, he was ready to tell the man to leave him alone, but the next sentence was one that confused him immensely

“Someone on the phone for you.” Wayne held the phone out to him, expecting him to get up from the bed and take it, but Eddie didn’t move an inch.

“For me, you sure?” He was still not quite sure what to do. “Unless another Eddie is living here I’m pretty sure.” He moved his hand again to accentuate the phone that was still on hold, but once again Eddie just sat there.

“If you want I can tell her to call back-” That’s when he sprung into action, snatching the phoen out of Wayne’s hand 

“No! No, I got it. Thank you.” The old man simply chuckled as he left again, closing the door behind him to give his nephew some privacy.

Eddie cleared his throat once before picking up the line put on hold. 

“Hello?” he asked, still not quite sure what to do.

“Hi, Eddie it’s me, just wanted to see if you were doing alright.” your sweet voice blessed his ears once more. He doesn’t know what he did to get the universe on his side like this, but he was grateful for it nonetheless.

“Yeah I’m good, listen-” Eddie figured this time he shouldn’t waste his chance, and he probably had some making up to do. “- I’m sorry if I freaked you out earlier, just never seen anyone that pretty before.” You were giggling again, and it brought the biggest grin onto his face. “You didn’t weird me out at all, it was kinda cute. I had to bribe Dustin to let me use the phone so I don’t have much time but I was wondering if maybe you’d like to go out this weekend?” Maybe he should’ve waited a beart before answering, but he was too eager to care.

“Go out, as in a date?” It got him blushing, the red creeping up on his cheeks as he wondered if that’s really what you were asking

“I mean, kinda, if you want to.” He could almost see you blushing on the other side of the line as well, and he decided it was now or never.

“I’d love to.” 

“That’s great, I’m still kind of new around here, do you know any good places?” Your smile was present as you spoke, and he was already looking forward to seeing it again, now knowing he wouldn’t have to wait long.

“How about I come and pick you up, we can go to the mall.” His confidence was growing with the minute now, absolutely elated by the turn of events.

“Im looking forward to it” He wondered what you’d wear, knowing whatever it was it would look beautiful on you, and he knew he’d spend the entire date amazed at your presence. 

“Me too” he said before the both of you hung up the phone, he had already started planning the most amazing evening out, and maybe, he thought, maybe this year really would take a turn for the better.

[finniestoncrane]

Pleaseeeee can I have a softer Cooper who worries a lot about his girlfriend having to deal with people looking at them weird all the time, but who would be happy to yell "THIS IS MY MAN!" to anyone who would listen?

Willingly

Cooper Howard x Fem!Reader, word count: 1.5k i am already on the soft cooper train oh no lmaooooo just a little bit of soft boyfriend cooper, or as soft as i imagine he can get, being defended by his partner 🤎 request info • prompt list • send me a request • kofi • masterlist minors DNI!! 🔞 cw: guns, blood, violence, good old fashioned trope fic!

Cooper struggled against your gentle grip, his gloved hand pulling away from yours, fingers no longer entwined with yours. You looked to him, noticing he was avoiding your inquisitive gaze, and then noticed the crudely painted sign on the wall ahead of you. The gates to the nearest settlement were just ahead of you. Your last stop before you headed on to the next job.

“What? Are you embarrassed to walk in here holding my hand, Coop?”

His easy, charming smile seemed a little off as he spoke to you, still looking straight ahead.

“You kiddin’? Darlin’, this is for your benefit. Not many settlements are alright with folks like me at the best of times, but with you on my arm? We’d both be in danger, and I can’t keep spendin’ all my time savin’ you.”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes.

“I can hold my own. You know that.”

There was no response, but you knew better than to keep fighting your corner in this particular arena. So instead, you sighed, placing your hands which now felt so incredibly cold and empty, back into your pockets to keep them from mindedly grabbing Cooper’s hands again. You couldn’t be too annoyed. For someone as stoic and cold as he could be, the fact he tolerated holding your hand at all was a pleasant enough gesture. But his willingness to offer up any form of physical affection dwindled completed when there was a risk of running into people. He became reserved, quiet, well-behaved almost. It was something you hadn’t expected from him, to be shy or to allow someone else’s opinions to hold him back. And admittedly, a lot of the time, you had worried that it was because he didn’t want to be seen with you. But you knew it was the other way around in his mind. He was afraid of how people would look at you.

As though he could hear your thoughts, knowing you well enough after all this time together, Cooper spoke finally as you sidled up to the gates.

“You wake up to this face smiling. You call me handsome. You say I’m charming. Good lookin’ I might be in your books, but there ain’t a lot of charm left in these old bones, sweetheart. I couldn’t talk my way out of an argument, and since you keep remindin’ me that I’m not allowed to cause problems everywhere we go…”

He tapped his thumb against the barrel of his holstered gun.

“… Then I just better not give anyone any more reason not to like me.”

“Well, I like you, Coop.”

“And I will forever question your judgement on that, kid.”

Smiling, you both passed through the open gate of the settlement and separated with a nod to get the supplies you needed. Quicker, and safer, to go separately. But still, you kept your head down, Cooper with his ragged mask up and his hat brim tipped to cover as much of his face as possible. Quiet, subtle, nondescript.

It didn’t stop them though, three of them. Pointing towards you, setting their beer bottles down on the stained and rusting bar top as they rushed to follow you.

“Hey! Hello there, pretty lady! You all alone?”

Turning, you spotted the colour of the uniform first, immediately recognising that you had made a mistake in even acknowledging them. That telltale burnt orange jumpsuit. The arrogance in their smug smiles. The Brother of Steel.

“No. I’m not alone.”

“Sure looks like you are… you know, maybe you could come on over and we’ll by you a cola?”

They laughed amongst themselves as you walked on. That one answer and a quick disappearing act was all you were willing to give them, turning quickly back and trying to lose them in the crowd as they slapped each other’s backs and spat to the ground.

And you thought you had been successful. You found a trader with everything you needed on your list before you returned to wait just beyond the gate for Cooper, no further interruptions to your day from the louts at the bar. But the entire interaction had out you on edge, so much so that when Cooper appeared behind you, leaning in without you noticing to whisper in your ear, you jumped out of your skin. Luckily, he was quick, and managed to grab your wrist before your fist struck the side of his face.

“Jumpy, aren’t you? Maybe you don’t think I’m so handsome after all.”

His wink made you blush, it always did, and you bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from grinning like a fool.

“You surprised me is all, smartass.”

Cooper smiled, tightening the grip on your wrist and pulling you closer to him. You feigned some resistance, pretending to put up a fight against his grin, his charms, his strength. But you were following his pull, your lips almost touching his before the blow was landed.

Cooper’s body was knocked completely off balance, his body falling to the ground in a cloud of dust. Turning in the direction he was hit from, you found yourself staring down the three members of the Brotherhood from the market. Holding back some of the choice words you had for them, you managed to narrow it down to one question simple enough for even them to answer.

“What the fuck are you doing?”

Shocked by your ungrateful attitude, one of the men, the largest of the three, stepped forward and pushing your shoulder with his finger.

“We’re saving you from assault, lady! This monster had its hands all over you, but don’t worry, we’ll take care of it. And you’re welcome.”

You scoffed, face going red with rage as you knelt to help Cooper up.

“You’re not saving me, asshole! You’re ruining the fucking vibe, you dweebs.”

Again, a far more polite term than you had wanted to use, but that didn’t seem to make the men any less aggressive towards either Cooper or now you. The largest of the men grabbed your arm, pulling you back up and away from the hand that Cooper had held out to you.

“Oh… you’re one of those freaks! No wonder you turned down some good old-fashioned heroes like us then.”

One of the others nudged you to the side, the other pushing Cooper back down to the ground with a kick, turning around as all of them converged on you until your back was against the wall. Nowhere to go. Trapped by them as they made their disgusting comments.

“Why would you waste your time on some abomination like that, huh? You into freaky stuff? Cos I could sure show you a thing or two. What’s he got? Like two cocks or something weird like that?”

You spat out your retort, well aware of the repercussions, but not caring.

“He could be feral and I’d still let him touch me before I even thought about letting any of you near me.”

Bracing for impact, you squeezed your eyelids shut, opening them again moments later when you realised you hadn’t been hit yet. Instead, all three of the Knights were on the ground, Cooper kneeling over them as he tightened the lasso and added the long length around their wrists for measure.

“Oughta keep ‘em long enough for us to make our escape, hm?”

You nodded, smiling, surprised still at how effective he was at handling anything the Wasteland threw at him.

“And I did it all without too much violence and noise, like you asked.”

“My hero.”

You swooned playfully, watching him as he made his way to stand beside you, both of you looking down without an ounce of pity at the men who writhed before you in the dirt.

“And look at you, shouting all those kind words about me for anyone to hear.”

“I keep telling you, Coop. I can hold my own, and I don’t care what people think.”

“You sure about that, darlin’? The likes of these fellas don’t put you off none?”

His eyes darted towards the Knights, now trussed up and struggling against each other on the ground, straining their necks to move their heads out of the line of Cooper’s gun.

“What? You think I’m put off by the Brotherhood? Yeah… and the rads put me off stuffing tin after tin of delicious cram down my throat.”

Cooper grabbed your hand in his, initiating the contact for the first time, and pulled you away back onto the cracked road. He knew he’d let go before you hit the next settlement, but he felt a little bit better about the risks associated. Especially since he had to admit, you could hold your own. And you were determined to do so when it came to him. It was nice to feel like he could let the affection be reciprocated.

[dilemmaontwolegs]

https://www.tumblr.com/dilemmaontwolegs/739719861708701696/lando-i-swear-that-boy-and-his-hospital-pics-and

Now we’re gonna need the bday gift part , pretty please

Pity Fuck {2} || LN4

Part One

Lando watched you squirm in your seat while you tried to hold a conversation with his mother. The birthday dinner was greatly appreciated but in all honestly he just wanted to get you home so he could get his real present. You shifted on your seat again and all but choked on your drink, some of the rouge liquid running down your parted lips.

He knew that look.

You excused yourself and disappeared to the restrooms at the back of the restaurant, Lando seconds behind. You had barely locked the door when he knocked, and you took a steadying breath before letting him in.

“Hello, love,” he said with a grin. “Everything okay?”

“Mhmm,” you hummed as you remained as still as possible. “Just perfect.”

He reached for your hips and pulled you against him, the shift making you moan and your toes curl in your heels. “What’s that, love?”

“N-nothing,” you lied.

He clearly didn’t believe you and for good reason too. Your nipples were stiff peaks pressed against the thin material of your dress and your pupils were blown out with desire. His hands roamed your body and over the swell of your ass before he gripped it tightly and squeezed.

“Oh, fuck,” you moaned, shuddering as the stimulation became too much.

Lando knew you were horny but he couldn’t believe you had come without his cock, his tongue or even his fingers. A frown started to crease his forehead until he felt it beneath his finger, just as he as letting go of your ass. Something hard, nestled between your cheeks.

“What have you got there, my love?” he asked as he stepped around you and lifted the dress up. “Oh my…”

His deep chuckle warmed your nape as he saw the butt plug you had inserted while you were getting ready for the evening. You were preparing yourself for the gift you were going to let him have when you got home but you hadn’t expected it to be so pleasurable. You had let his mother think you were drunk, that explained why your walking was so unstable, but each step had caused stars to dance around your vision.

“For me?” Lando asked as he knelt behind your and saw your thigh were slick with the evidence of your enjoyment and he ran his tongue through it, gathering the taste that was far better than any Michelin Star meal. “I can’t wait, baby, please don’t make me wait until we get home.”

Your legs trembled at his begging and your lips parted with the answer before you could think clearly. Your hands scrambled for the wash basin, gripping the edge tightly as you bit your lips to silence the cry of pleasure that nearly erupted when he grabbed the butt plug and gently pulled. Your body resisted as if it wasn’t ready to give up the pleasuring device but you breathed deeply through it knowing something better was coming soon.

You flinched at the sound of metal hitting stone and send Lando a warning glare since your families and friends were on the other side of the wall. The sound of the plug being carelessly tossed into the wash basin was quickly forgotten when he buried two fingers in your dripping cunt, coating them with your arousal before using it to prep your ass.

Your lip was swollen from clenching it between your teeth and Lando took great delight seeing it in the reflection of the mirror. “Ready, baby?”

You nodded, fearful of using your voice and not being able to control it’s volume.

“Fuck I love you,” he praised as he shoved his trousers down and freed his erection. You almost growled with frustration when he thrust his hips forward and buried himself in your cunt but he soon pulled out. “Nature’s lube, baby.”

Your breath caught in your throat when you felt the head of cock press against your hole, his dick a lot thicker and longer than the plug was. Small shifts of his hips rocked him against you, easing you open more each time until, like an elastic band, the resistance snapped and he was seated inside you.

“Fuuuuuck,” he moaned, his eyes closed and his lips parted. “You’re so fucking tight, baby.”

You felt so full you could hardly breathe and you pressed a hand to your stomach sure that you would be able to feel him, the idea making your heart beat with a needy throb in your pussy. As is he could sense it, he reached over your hip and teased your clit with his middle finger as he started to pull out slowly. It was sweet torture to feel his cock dragging along your walls before slowly pushing back in.

“Faster,” you choked, pushing back against him until his hips met your skin. “I can take it, please, Lando…”

Your whines urged his to through caution to the wind and he abandoned your clit so he could grip your hips and drive himself into oblivion. “Touch yourself, baby, wanna feel you come on my cock.”

Your hand slipped between your legs and you coated your fingers with the free flowing nectar that ran down your thighs, using it to glide your fingers over your puffy and sensitive clit. A ragged breath escaped your lungs and Lando buried his face in your neck to keep his own sounds muted. His teeth grazed your racing pulse before his lips sealed over it and sucked. The culmination of his touch on your skin, the sight in the mirror, the sound of your bodies uniting and the smell of sex in the air, drove you over the edge and head first into a screaming orgasm before Lando’s hand clamped over your mouth.

A choked groan warmed your ear as your body clamped down on Lando’s cock, milking him into an explosive release that filled your ass with a flood of warmth. Hypersensitive, you whimpered with his withdrawal and clamped your legs shut as your cunt throbbed with aftershocks.

Lando grinned at your fucked out reflection before he caught your chin and turned you to face him, his lips praising you with kisses before his voice followed. “You took me so well, baby. Best birthday present ever.”

“Was meant to be at home,” you panted with your recovery, leaning into his embrace as your legs wobbled weakly. “I’m not going to make you wait a year again.”

[kamaluhkhan]

in my head, i play a supercut of us

pairing: conrad fisher x fem!reader

summary: you come back to cousins beach after a few years away. conrad is not particularly happy that you're back - and you aren't particularly thrilled, either. too bad there's a history (chemistry?) neither of you can deny.

warnings: drinking + smoking. lots of plot + flashbacks. there is some mention of injuries, body issues/self esteem (reader is a competitive swimmer), complicated family dynamics (reader is eldest daughter), slight allusion to alcoholism.

a/n: ohhh this turned out much longer than i expected it to be!! honestly i have so many ideas that this will probably become a series. for now please enjoy the summer, childhood friends to lovers to strangers vibes ;)

you still crave lemonade, but the taste doesn't satisfy you as much as it used to. you still crave summer, but sometimes you mean summer, five years ago. (alida nugent)

now — summer, age 18

driving up to the beach house after so many summers have passed, you’re struck with the memory of your first time swimming. 

it was mid-june in cousins; you must have been four years old. you stood on the edge of the pool for an eternity, until your father became impatient and threw you into the deep end. you screamed, imagined your lungs being filled with cold water, drowning in darkness. your neighbour had run over when he heard, and your father had to hold him back from jumping in to save you. instead, your life jacket kept you afloat, and soon enough you were kicking as though it was the most natural thing in the world. you discovered your love of swimming that afternoon and in that your father found his star athlete. you also realized your love for conrad fisher, the boy next door.

your summers in cousins, the friends you’d met here, conrad fisher — these composed your metaphorical lifejacket, once preserving your childhood. you’d taken it off for too long, spent years in the deep end alone, keeping yourself afloat, moving towards a carefully constructed future. now it all started to crumble, and here you were again, a different person; you wondered if the others were different, too. 

it wasn't your first choice to come back to cousins, but you were determined to make the most of it. after unpacking your things, you decide to make your way to the beck house, right next door to your own family’s. 

you knock once, twice, three times. there's no answer, so you figure that everyone is either in town or at the beach. you start to walk away when you hear the front door open. 

"excuse me!" laurel park's voice calls. you turn around, and the shock on laurel's face is clear. "y/n! oh my god, i almost didn't recognize you!" 

"four summers can do that," you note. 

you hear your name from inside the house, and before you know it, belly conklin excitedly runs out and tackles you in a hug. 

"hey, bells," you laugh. you notice how dressed up she is, something that changed from the oversized t-shirts and patterned shorts you remember her always wearing. "cute dress. where are you off to?" 

"oh. there's a high tea at the country club. sort of like an introduction for the debutante season." 

you raise an eyebrow, looking past belly towards laurel. "is this a lemon jelly belly situation?" you’re referring to the code phrases you used to exchange for different situations, depending on different flavours of jelly beans: pear, toasted marshmellow, lemon. it might have been childish (you were kids at the time), but it always worked. more than anyone, you know what it’s like to be pushed into something too quickly, too soon. even after all these years, and even though belly is only two years younger, your instinct is to defend her at all times.

"possibly," laurel sighs. 

"it's not," belly insists, giving her mother a pointed look. "i wanted to try something new this summer, and susannah promised it would be fun." 

the two of you walk back towards the house. when you reach the door, laurel brings you into a tight hug. the three of you walk into the kitchen, and you find yourself taking the seat you had once claimed as your own — a stool at the counter, third from the left. belly settles down next to you, and laurel grabs a pitcher of sweet tea from the fridge while you reach over to take three glasses from the drying rack. 

belly explains more about the debutante season, and mentions that steven and jeremiah are both working at the club this summer. she doesn't get around to what conrad is up to, because laurel suddenly checks her watch, then sighs. 

"i hate to cut this reunion short, but belly, we'd better leave if we want to make that tea of yours." 

"right." belly looks at you with a frown, like she's worried you'll disappear if you're out of sight. "i'll see you later?"

you smile, reaching over to squeeze her hand. "i'll be here all summer," you promise, and belly beams.

"you’re coming to my book party?" laurel asks, though it's more of a statement than a question.

"yeah, sure," you promise, sipping your sweet tea. "i'll see you guys there." 

with one final see you later and another hug from belly, you're left alone in the kitchen. you wonder if the fishers still keep the cereal in the same cabinet; if their cupboards are filled with the same sugary snacks you were never allowed to have, but you and the boys would sneak when the adults weren’t looking. 

"y/n, my little mermaid, is that you?" 

susannah always called you her little mermaid — inspired by your love of swimming, yes, but also that one summer you were convinced that mermaids were real, so you and belly spent hours looking for clues on the beach and painting your nails iridescent turquoise. all the adults scoffed at you, but susannah was the only one who played along, who allowed you to believe that magic was real.

instantly, you rise from your seat and hug susannah.

"you have no idea how happy i am that you're here this summer," susannah whispers. as you break away from your hug, susannah places her hands on your cheeks. she looks happy and healthy, if a little tired. you can't help but think of the years you’d been gone when susannah and her family were dealing with so much. there was only so much connection texts, calls, and emails could provide. to be here now, seeing susannah fisher alive and well? 

it was almost too much.

tears threaten to spill, but you swallow them. instead, you reply: "so am i." and, certainly more than before, you mean it.

“conrad’s out back if you want to come say hi. i’m painting his portrait. he’s been a bit down lately, but if anyone can make him feel better, it’s you.”

you feel your cheeks heat up. you finish the rest of your sweet tea and put your glass in the dishwasher, not quite feeling ready to face conrad — there was a complicated history between the two of you. unresolved tension, hurtful words, that sort of thing.

“i’ll, uh, let you keep painting. i should go get ready for laurel’s book party.”

“alright. i’ll see you there, sweetie.”

“yeah,” you confirm. you start to walk away before hearing susannah’s voice again:

“and, y/n?” you turn around. “i’m so glad you’re home.”

later that night, at laurel's book launch party, you watch conrad pour another glass of wine, and wonder whether or not you should join him. his eyes catch yours from across the room, but he quickly looks away. belly ended up having a date, she'd texted you earlier, and you were roped into a conversation with your mother and susannah before you could find stephen or jeremiah. 

"they grow up so fast," susannah muses. she then wraps an arm around your shoulder. "i can't believe that our eldests are 18! conrad’s off to brown in the fall — how about you, y/n?”

“princeton,” your mother boasts, draining the rest of her cup and grabbing another from a tray passing by. that’s her third glass, by your count. “we were so proud. it’s the best women’s swim team in the country.”

“stanford is a close second,” you interject. “besides, we don’t even know if i can start swimming for real by then.”

you’d broken your ankle a month and a half before. it didn’t need surgery yet and you were out of your cast, but you couldn’t return to your usual level of activity for a while — which meant no training camp, like you’d been going to the past few summers.

“you know, i did always picture you on the west coast,” susannah smiles at you. “all those beaches and sunshine.”

your mother frowns, ignoring susannah. “don’t be ridiculous. if you spend the summer doing your physical therapy and resting, you’ll be back in the water before we know it. your father and i agreed — that’s why you’re here.”

you resist the urge to argue with her and instead block her out as she brags about your siblings getting top prizes in their academic decathalon. the twins were thirteen now and had plans with their friends tonight, sparing them from attending this event. no offence to laurel or susannah, of course, but you’d rather be with your friends.

when you look for conrad once more, you notice that he's been roped into a conversation with laurel and someone who your mom had pointed out as cleveland castillo. even after all these years, you can tell when he needs backup: the impatient tapping of his foot, his eyes searching the room for an out.

after excusing yourself from the conversation, you make your way over to conrad. 

"hey," you greet, nodding at laurel and cleveland. "mind if i borrow this guy? we've got some catching up to do." if either laurel or cleveland said anything more after yes, then you don't hear them, already pulling conrad away.

you lead him to the back corner of the room, near a small couch. neither of you make a move to sit; neither of you say anything. up close, you could see the shadows under his eyes, the creases in between his brows. he was always quiet, the more calm and thoughtful one of the group, but always with soft edges, especially when it came to you. now, quiet could have been replaced with brooding, and all those soft edges seem sharper.

“so,” you start. you grab the wine from conrad’s hand and take a sip. “are you gonna keep ignoring me, or are you gonna welcome me back?”

“when my mom said you were back, i didn’t believe her.” conrad looks at you, his face still. “i wish you hadn’t come back.” 

stung, you take a deep breath. after everything, conrad thought that was the best way to greet you? if cold and closed off was how conrad wanted to act, you could play that game, too.

“fuck you,” is all you say before joining jeremiah and steven on the other side of the room.

steven’s eyes widen once they land on you. "no fucking way. y/n!" steven exclaims. "thought you'd never come back here, man." there’s a joyful undertone to his comment as he smiles. same old steven: always blunt, always laughing. 

"yeah, well, i’m here.”

jeremiah just beams at you, picking you up and spinning you around. 

“jere,” you giggle, half scolding, fully floating.

“sorry, sorry!” he laughs, setting you down. “i just — i can’t believe you’re here. how come you didn’t tell me you were coming?”

“yeah, well.” you shrug. “i thought you liked surprises.”

“well, i do. especially if it involves seeing you.”

"yo, speaking of surprises — what if we ditch this party and surprise belly at the drive-in?" stephen suggests.

you shake your head, though leaving was very tempting. 

"or, instead of ruining your sister's first date, we get some booze, light a fire, and go get drunk on the beach," you suggest.

"oh, i am so down!" jeremiah exclaims. "you've got my vote." 

“hell yeah.” steven grins and throws his arm around your shoulder. "you always did know how to show us a good time."

then — summer, age 11

you had plenty of bonfires before, on the beach with your parents, but that summer marked the first one with just the kids. you begged and begged, and eventually the adults were okay with it since conrad had earned his boy scout badge for fire safety in the spring.

it was the beginning of july, and an unseasonably cold evening — basically, perfect bonfire weather. jeremiah helped susannah make hot chocolate for everyone. belly wanted s'mores, so you had biked with her to the store earlier that day for the ingredients. everyone was stuffing their faces with slightly burnt marshmallows as melted chocolate and graham cracker crumbs decorated your cheeks, and you chased it all down with lukewarm chocolatey liquid. you were kids and it was summer; life was sweet, life was good. 

"conrad," steven announced, turning to the boy who was pushing a marshmallow deeper into the fire. "i dare you to go dunk in the ocean." a grin erupted on steven's face, and in the glow of the fire, he looked like the cheshire cat. 

"no way, man. it's freezing."

you knew the real reason conrad didn't want to go into the ocean. one night the week before, when the parents were out to dinner and the other kids were asleep, you and conrad had stayed up to watch jaws together, having rented it secretly from the local video store. ever since, conrad had been coming up with excuses to not go swimming at the beach. 

"what's the matter, con? you scared?" jeremiah taunted, wearing a similar cheshire grin to steven’s.

"what?" the marshmallow conrad was trying to roast fell into the fire. he huffed, and belly handed him another one. "i'm not scared. it's just freezing."

"come on, man. you’ve gotta do it. besides, there's a fire and hot cocoa here for you when you get back," jeremiah reasoned. ten-year-old jeremiah was never very concerned about following the rules, except when it came to truth or dare. 

"i'm good," conrad snapped.

"aw, i think he's scared," steven laughed.

"i'm not scared —"

"what if i went with you?" you interrupted him. 

"but it's not your dare," belly pointed out as she continued carefully assembling a s'more. nine-year-old belly was competitive, so it was very important to her that the rules of any game were followed. 

"yeah, but if connie —"

"is scared," jeremiah coughed under his breath.

"wants company," you continued, ignoring jeremiah. "then, it'll be more fun, right?" you were a mix between jere and belly: you were competitive, but you didn’t particularly care about following the rules. especially when it came to your friends, even more when it came to conrad.

conrad smiled at you softly. "right." 

reluctantly, jeremiah, belly and steven agreed to the terms of the dare. you removed your beach cover up, and conrad his shirt, leaving you both in your swimsuits, dry even with swimming in the pool a few hours before. you ran to the water, pulling conrad with you. you stopped at the edge of the sand, waves tickling your feet and the light, and warmth, of the bonfire a recent memory. it was much cooler here, closer to the water.

"ready?"

conrad nodded once. "ready." 

hands still clasped together, you jumped into the ocean, leaving the comfort of the shore behind. 

now 

jeremiah finds stale marshmallows in the kitchen and steven makes a bonfire on the stretch of beach between your two houses. you head home to change out of your silk mini skirt and back into denim cutoffs. you switch your cream blouse for a short-sleeved button down, left open over your favourite bralette. when you get back to the beach, the boys have invited some people over, most of whom you don't recognize. 

"here," jeremiah hands you a lukewarm beer, which you accept gratefully. then, he throws an arm around your shoulder. "come on, there's some people i want you to meet." 

jeremiah introduces you to a few guys he works with at the club, and some girls who are doing the deb thing with belly. 

"jeremiah mentioned you’re a swimmer." gigi, one of the debs, smiles, eyeing the way jeremiah leans against you. "what's that like?"

the girls all wait expectantly for you to answer. 

"intense," you decide. you leave it at that. the fire flickers a few feet away, vibrant and alive. 

you want nothing more than to go back to those summer nights when you were kids. you want belly to be looking at the stars for elaborate constellations while jeremiah burns marshmallows to a crisp. you want steven to be laughing and making outrageous, impossible dares. you want the five of you together, huddled around a small fire that conrad had carefully crafted. you want conrad to be okay. 

"i hear that competitive sports can like, really fuck with a girl's self-esteem and body image," gigi continues. you don't necessarily think she means it as an insult, and it's certainly not anything you haven't heard (or felt) before, but you still bristle.

"like i said: intense," you answer cooly. 

"hey, man, when are we gonna get the marshmallows going?" steven suddenly appears, his face slightly flushed. he holds hands with shayla, who, as jeremiah pointed out earlier, steven is dating. 

"in a bit. i asked con to pick up chocolate and graham crackers for s'mores." jeremiah looks around before saying: "speaking of: look who's here!"

jeremiah runs off to meet his brother, while you stay back and take a sip of your beer. 

"looks like he brought nicole, too," steven observes.

who the fuck is nicole? 

nicole, you learn as the group sits around the bonfire and roasts marshmallows, is the girl conrad is either dating or hooking up with. jeremiah isn't quite sure.

the night grows darker. the air is warm with smoke from marshmallows roasting, the smell of burnt sugar dancing around. people start to leave to go to other parties, and soon enough it's only steven, shayla, nicole, conrad, jeremiah, and you. having less people around made it harder for you to ignore conrad. nicole is nice and pleasant to talk to, but you can't help but feel something churn in your stomach when you see how close nicole and conrad are to each other. plus, she's wearing a red sox cap, and you know for a fact that conrad hates the red sox, unless that obviously fundamental part of his personality changed too. 

jeremiah must have noticed, because he suggests a drinking game for the group to ease the tension. 

"never have i ever gotten a tattoo." 

you’re the only one to take a sip of your drink. 

"i meant a real one," steven rolls his eyes. 

"i do have a real tattoo." you remove the button down and point to the left side of your rib cage. 

the others take a closer look, except conrad, of course. he was always an expert at pretending not to care, but so were you. tonight is a prime example: since the bonfire, you hadn't said a word to each other. 

"why a starfish?" nicole asks. she leans further into conrad’s arms.

you look at conrad, briefly, then shrug. "i like the beach." 

the game continues until the fire dies down, and you’re left with a burning sensation from conrad glancing in your direction, at the starfish etched on your skin.

then — summer, age 13

"that's disgusting," steven said, scrunching his nose. 

"no, steven, that's friendship," you replied, just as jeremiah leaned over to take more from your cup, and vice versa.

"right, friendship." belly raised her eyebrow at you, and you rolled your eyes in response. you then decided to take an interest in your formerly white sneakers (after so many summers, they were now decorated with sand and sea water and permanent marker doodles. your mother hated them.)

that summer, belly became convinced that jeremiah had a crush on you. she said that he was absolutely lovestruck and that you were too blinded by years of being best friends with him to notice. jeremiah had made you promise not to tell belly the hilarious irony of the situation — that it was belly he so clearly loved.

"see, steven. friendship can be sweet!" jeremiah grinned, chewing the chunk of bubble gum he had fished from your cup. that was the type of cheesy thing only jeremiah could say and make others laugh unironically. 

years before, when you were just kids, you and jeremiah believed you had solved the most complicated problem in the world. you loved bubble gum ice cream, but hated the bubble gum chunks. jeremiah loved bubble gum chunks, and didn't care if the flavor clashed with his favorite rainbow sherbert because he loved you even more (platonically, of course). 

during the whole interaction, conrad was silent, looking out towards the beach. 

the five of you had walked to the nearest ice cream shop (there was no baskin robbins in cousins, but some nautical themed place with 50 flavors and unlimited toppings). you decided to come back and sit on the porch of the fisher house (where there was a decent amount of shade) rather than on the beach. it was one of the hottest afternoons of the summer, late july, when the sun was at its peak. those who'd been coming to cousins their whole lives knew that being at the beach in such weather was only good for swimming. 

you glanced at conrad, who took another bite (an actual bite) of his chocolate ice cream. he was sitting on the railing instead of the stairs like the rest of you, so you had to crane your neck slightly. you tapped his ankle, which was decorated with a temporary tattoo. the night before, the two of you had found a few left over from when you were kids and, having a sugar rush from too much cream soda and root beer (and maybe stolen sips of sangria when the adults weren't looking), decided it would be hilarious to see if the tattoos still worked. so, conrad had a cartoonish-looking shark on his ankle, and you had a similarly cartoonish-looking starfish on your arm. 

"you okay, connie?" you asked. you only got a nod and a small smile in response. more and more, as summer crept on, conrad would be laughing, loud and lively, one second (exhibit A: using those temporary tattoos the night before was his idea -- we don't want them to go to waste, y/n, he grinned mischievously) and the next he'd be silent, closed off (exhibit B: since you came back from your ice cream excursion, he'd barely said a word). 

even though you couldn't really read minds, you had an aching feeling that you knew what conrad was thinking in that moment, because you’d been thinking it, too: time was passing too quickly. in a few days, it would already be august, and september was just around the corner. the summer - your childhood - was as temporary as yours and conrad’s tattoos: vibrant and saturated, slightly faded, then gone. 

"i wanna go swimming. anyone wanna join me at the beach?" jeremiah suddenly asked. 

"i've gotta pick up the twins from day camp, but i'll try to meet you guys later." you knew that wasn't true though — things were getting more and more tense between your parents, your father storming out angrily after useless arguments and your mother passing out on the couch after one too many glasses of wine. someone needed to watch your siblings, and neither of your parents seemed pressed to find an actual babysitter.

"i'll stay with you," conrad said.

belly and steven took jeremiah up on his offer. once the other three were gone, you stood up. "scooch over." conrad shifted slightly and you went to join him on the railing, your knees practically knocking together. 

"so. did the tattoo help you get over your fear of sharks?" 

conrad took another bite of his ice cream, this time with a giant chunk of chocolate. "i don't fear sharks," he replied. then, he turned to you and shrugged. "i just respect them, you know?"

you bumped your shoulder against conrad's. "right. you respect them so much that you avoid the ocean at all costs." 

conrad smirked. "says the girl who avoids eating on the beach because she's scared of seagulls!" 

you were laughing, teasing each other, not caring that your ice cream was melting, when mr. fisher opened the front door, car keys in hand.

"oh, hey kids. we were wondering where you were."

"we went to scoops ahoy," you explained. you took a bite of your ice cream and resisted the urge to spit it out once you realized that it had a chunk of bubble gum in it. 

"better watch the ice cream, huh, y/n?" mr. fisher said, smiling like he said the funniest thing in the world. he patted his stomach to further his point. "if you want to keep up at those swim meets."

you suddenly froze, mid bite. you cleared your throat and dropped the spoon back in your half-empty cup, suddenly queasy.

"dad," conrad said, not raising his voice, but definitely irritated. "what the actual fuck."

"language, conrad," mr. fisher scolded. without another word, he got in his car and drove away.

"he shouldn't have said that," conrad said instantly.

"it's fine," you replied, too quickly to be true. you set down your ice cream between you and conrad. "it's nothing my own father hasn't said to me."

being a teenage girl was brutal, and competitive swimming amplified that, especially the older you got. there was always someone faster, someone more skilled, someone better. ice cream churned in your stomach at the thought. was your father right: had you wasted your summer, not practicing your technique and stuffing your face with sugary treats? 

conrad picked up your ice cream and handed it to you. he then took the spoon from his own cup, and stated: "fuck dads who are jerks." 

you couldn't help but smile. somehow, he always knew what to say to make you believe that you weren't alone, that things would be okay no matter how fucked up the world was. 

"fuck dads who are jerks," you echoed, raising your spoon.

"and,” conrad paused. he looked at you with gentle eyes. “to always being there for each other."

you smiled at him, heart soaring. "to always being there for each other." 

you clinked your spoons together, and ate your ice cream, and shifted closer so your legs pressed together — and it didn't feel like a temporary promise.

now

you always loved mornings in cousins. the beach was particularly beautiful at sunrise, the water at its most peaceful.

the morning after the bonfire, you need that peacefulness to wash over you. as quietly as you can to avoid waking up the rest of your family, you make a fresh pot of coffee and pour some into your favourite mug. it’s from the rainforest cafe: bright green with a cartoon frog on it. you brought it back from a swim meet in niagara falls when you were 10, and got one for the fishers as well. theirs was orange with a cartoon iguana. conrad would use it all the time; you imagine it collecting dust in the kitchen cupboard now.

you make your way down to the beach, and notice someone already sitting at your usual spot by the water.

conrad doesn’t say anything when you sit next to him. he’s wearing a red hoodie over his clothes from last night, a cigarette tucked behind his ear. he glances at you as you sip your drink. 

“morning,” he whispers.

you shiver, and not just from the cool morning air. you’re reminded of the last time conrad spoke to you so softly, the last time you’d caught an early morning sunrise together. such a contrast to where you are now.

“morning,” you finally reply. 

as the sound of waves fills the silence between you, conrad lights his cigarette and takes a puff. then, he hands it to you. in turn, you offer him your mug. a peace offering — you both accept. the space between you becomes open, comfortable.

“since when do you smoke?” you exhale, letting the smoke warm your lungs. 

conrad takes a long sip of coffee, looking out towards the ocean. “since i quit football.”

“i thought you loved football.”

“i loved it,” conrad answers. he takes another sip, then gives the mug back to you. “i don’t love it anymore.”

you take another drag of the cigarette. your fingers brush against his when you return it to him.

“once you love something, you never really unlove it,” you muse, even though you know exactly what he means — when it comes to sports. 

“don’t misquote spirited away at me,” he laughs, and you can’t help but smile. the first time you'd watch that movie was when you were 8. all the kids crowded into the den of the fisher house on a rainy day. susannah prepared an impressive spread of candy, popcorn, and soda for you all. you drank dr. pepper from a twizzler straw and cried when chihiro reunited with haku.

conrad glances at you and the sunshine highlights his smile, his brown hair, the hazel of his eyes. golden, radiant. 

you shiver again, looking away. before you know it, you feel something draped across your shoulders.

“i’m not sure nicole would like it if i was wearing your hoodie.” you joke, but your words are laced with a bitterness you hope conrad doesn’t catch. unlucky for you, conrad knew you too well. 

“you don’t get to do that,” he snaps.

“do what?”

conrad scoffs. “be jealous.” 

“well, you don’t get to tell me how to feel.”

“so, you are jealous?”

you exhale sharply; you can practically feel the wall between you two reappear.

“it’s too early, con. and i’m too hungover to deal with this.”

there’s nothing more left to say. you get up, throw his hoodie on the sand, and walk back towards your house, the beach and conrad further away with every step you take.

it makes sense that way: you were always the one to leave first.

[lostgirlmuseum]

Pulse 💗

Summary: Bucky can hear your heartbeat through the wall, and he can tell everything isn’t alright.

Pairing: Bucky x gn!Reader

Words: 600 (exactly 600, holy moly)

Warnings: None really, just mentions of anxiety and adhd. Wrote this within an hour, sorry if its bad

A/N: Self indulgent fic alert! This goes out to all my peeps who struggle with ADHD/anxiety. It sucks, but hang in there!

Divider credit: @saradika

Knock. Knock. Knock.

“Come in,” you called, not looking up from the papers on your desk.

A brief second passed, and the door creaked open. A cautious Bucky peeked his head in.

“Hey, are you okay?” He asked.

You suddenly became aware of your leg bouncing 70 miles an hour, and forced yourself to stop. 

“Yes, why?” You replied, ignoring the urge to get up and walk around.

“Well, I—” he hesitated, and brought his hand to rub the back of his neck, “I was passing by and I heard your heartbeat going really fast—super hearing and all that,” he awkwardly chuckled.

“120,” you stated, glancing at your watch.

“What?”

“My heart rate is 120 right now.”

“That’s pretty high for just sitting,” he responded, having a hard time hiding his concern.

“Well, y’know, anxiety,” you breathily laughed, but it wasn’t that funny.

“What are you anxious about? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Nothing.” You sighed, lowering your pen and facing him. At this point he was now in your room, perched in front of your door.

“Doesn’t seem like nothing.”

“Seriously, I’m kinda freaking out over nothing right now.”

“C’mon, you’re always telling me I’m valid for having concerns, you are too.”

“No, I mean there is literally no singular thing I’m anxious about right now—it’s just physical anxiety, the general feeling that I’m going crazy, or dying, I don’t know, both I guess. That sounds so dramatic. I really am fine. I mean, I’m not fine, but I am, yeah?” You rambled on and on, and cursed yourself when you noticed your leg had started bouncing again.

“I don’t think you’re okay, do you want me to bring you to Dr. Cho?”

“That’s sweet of you, but I don’t think there’s much she can do. The worst of this should pass in thirty minutes anyway, it’s just my meds.”

“Oh.” 

You could tell Bucky wanted to ask more, but wasn’t sure if it was polite.

“I have ADD. ADHD, whatever you want to call it. So I take medicine so I can focus on certain tasks, like these reports. And it does help me focus, but it’s also a stimulant, so it also gives me a lot of anxiety, which is totally awesome!” You scoffed.

“Why do you keep stopping your leg from bouncing?”

“I don’t know, I don’t want to annoy you.”

“If bouncing your leg makes you feel better, it doesn’t bother me.”

“I feel like I’m embarrassing myself,” you whined. 

Beep.

You looked at your watch.

“Oh, look at that, 126!”

“Do you—would…would a hug be something that would help you? Calm you down?” He offered, casually putting his arms out for emphasis.

“Sure, Bucky,” you smiled, and stood up to meet him halfway. You knew it wouldn’t fix it, but it certainly couldn’t hurt.

Bucky wrapped you in a big embrace, and you were shocked by how warm and teddy-like it was. You gave a small sigh, and rested your face in his neck, knowing you weren’t going to be the first to let go.

He held onto you for longer than you expected, just calmly swaying together in your room. 

To your dismay, he eventually let go of you. You were about to thank him and return to your work, but he gently grabbed your wrist and brought your watch to his sight. 

“107. Good, but I think we can do better than that,” he sweetly smiled, and wrapped you back up into his arms. 

“It might take a while.” You mumbled into his shirt.

“As long as it takes.” He cooed.

A/N: Should be either A) studying for a history exam I have tmw, or B) writing my stupid essay that the rough draft is due tmw, but I wrote this instead bc I’m procrastinating  HELP ME

[snowfll]

Miss Me; Coriolanus Snow

pairing - young!Coriolanus Snow x capitol!reader summary - Coriolanus is too busy making his way up in the Capitol to spend time with you. All you want is for him to miss you, like you miss him. words - 2.71k warning - coriolanus snow! note - I really wanted to make this a lot longer than it is, but I already rewrote it 5 different times and wasn't getting very far. I have a hard time when it comes to writing snow so I hope you like it! Oh! i changed my theme, but kept the same username! my other fics in the work should be out soon! until then, stay safe, ily 🦋

“Could you miss me for a moment?” You shouted at the man standing before you. “I’m constantly making time for you, Coryo. How is it that you are always late?”

“I have so much to do and so little time; this is my life now.” He responded, explaining the perpetual busyness that seemed to keep him at a distance.

Upon his return to the Capitol, a palpable shift occurred in the dynamics between you and the once-familiar boy—who now asserted himself as a man. However, the shifting dynamics of your relationship had been set in motion long before Coryo’s reinstitution in the Capitol.

As he embarked on his assignments in District Twelve, you remained a constant presence in his life through the written words that bridged the physical distance. Each week, your letters became a lifeline, painting vivid pictures of the life he missed and offering him a connection to the world he left behind.

In an unforeseen twist, he penned a final letter, a bittersweet gesture granting you the freedom to explore other connections during his prolonged absence. However, despite the newfound freedom, you found yourself tethered to the belief that Coryo was irreplaceable.

The connection you shared, woven through shared memories and the emotional landscape of your history, seemed to defy the notion of easy replacements. Even with his permission to explore others, the gravity of his absence and the unique bond you shared lingered, creating a complex tapestry of emotions.

Your prayers echoed with the fervent desire for the day Coryo would return, a day when everything would seamlessly revert to the way it once was. In the sanctity of your hopes, you envisioned the revival of late-night dates that stretched into the early hours, the days where you stood by his side, and the warmth of shared dinners with his family.

However, as the day of his return finally arrived, the reality that unfolded in the streets of the Capitol shattered those hopeful expectations. The person you longed for, the one you envisioned in your mind, stood before you, yet the familiarity that once defined your connection seemed elusive.

At that moment, the Capitol streets became a metaphorical crossroads, and the realization struck that the journey ahead might not seamlessly align with the nostalgic dreams of the past. Rather than confronting Coryo directly in the bustling streets of the Capitol, you chose a different path.

Walking right past him, you could sense his gaze lingering on you, and a subtle double-take betrayed his surprise at your unanticipated move. The decision to withhold direct acknowledgment was a silent rebellion against the expectations you had harbored, a momentary attempt to regain control over the emotions that had surged within you.

As you made your way to work, the weight of confusion and hurt accompanied each step. Seeking solace, you confided in a friend, sharing the unexpected encounter with Coryo. To your dismay, your friend revealed a disheartening truth—Coryo had been home for almost a month, a fact that had been hidden from you.

With the day unfolding with a semblance of normalcy, the echoes of the unexpected encounter with Coryo reverberated within you. However, the evening brought a sudden twist as a knock echoed through your apartment. Opening it revealed Coryo standing there, a bouquet of flowers in hand.

Once you let Coryo into your apartment, he extended the bouquet toward you, a silent offering to bridge the emotional gap that had widened during his prolonged absence. His voice carried a mix of surprise and regret as he confessed, “Hey... I, uh, didn’t expect you to just walk past me earlier. I’ve been back for a while, and I didn’t mean to keep it from you.”

You met his gaze, your eyes reflecting a sense of hurt and frustration. “It was more than that. I've been writing to you, waiting for your return. And today, when I saw you, it felt like all those moments were forgotten.”

Coryo’s expression softened, remorse evident in his eyes. “I never forgot, not for a second. I’ve been back for weeks, and I got caught up in trying to make things better for us. Time slipped away, and I messed up.”

The weight of your emotions hung in the air as you processed his words. “I wish I wasn’t so forgettable.”

“You’re not forgettable. You are the reason I’m doing all of this.” Coryo assured, his sincerity cutting through the tension. “I brought these flowers as a small way of saying sorry.”

Examining the bouquet in your hands, you acknowledged its beauty. “They’re beautiful, Coryo. But they aren’t enough—I need you to make an effort to be present, to not let us slip through the cracks.”

He nodded in understanding, a determination settling in his gaze. “I promise, from now on, I’ll be here. I want us to navigate the Capitol together—like we planned.”

His pledge to be present echoed in the air, creating a tentative bridge between past grievances and the possibility of a renewed connection. Despite the lingering doubts, a small glimmer of hope emerged as you decided to grant Coryo a chance to prove himself. The journey toward rebuilding trust required both vulnerability and resilience, and you were willing to tread cautiously along this tentative path.

“I know you’re busy, but you promised you would be here.”

The weight of the argument lingered in the air as you sat on the couch, the room heavy with the echoes of the heated exchange that had lasted through the night. The tension between you and Coriolanus had reached a breaking point, leaving the aftermath evident in the room. You found yourself pleading with him, exhausted and disappointed at the fact you were going over it again.

The promise he made on the day he came back had been broken long before this argument. The repetitiveness of these arguments weighed heavily on your shoulders, each broken promise creating a rift that seemed harder to mend. The one vibrant connection you shared during your academy days had unraveled, replaced by a stark reality that left you yearning for the Coryo from before the Hunger Games.

The argument slowly died down, leaving a heavy silence in its wake. Coryo, in a moment of reconciliation, made another promise—one he claimed he wouldn’t break. In that fragile moment, exhaustion blurred with a glimmer of hope, and you found yourself, once again, believing in the possibility of change.

Foolishly, you allowed yourself to be swept up in the promise, despite the history of unfulfilled commitments. The room held a fragile peace, but the unspoken tension lingered, creating an undercurrent of uncertainty. As you navigated the aftermath of the argument, the promise hung in the air, a delicate thread that would either mend the frayed edges of your relationship or further deepen the wounds of disappointment.

The familiar frustration bubbled up, and the echo of broken promises rang in your ears. It seemed the pledge to be present was just another fleeting promise. As you read the note, a sinking feeling set in, overshadowing the warmth of the anniversary you had envisioned.

The realization hit hard—perhaps your one mistake was believing in Coryo’s ability to change. The echoes of past letdowns resonated, casting doubt on the sincerity of his promises. The bond you had hoped to celebrate on this anniversary seemed to fray at the edges.

The anticipation had been building all day as you prepared for the first anniversary of the rekindling of your relationship with Coryo. Determined to make it special, you embarked on a shopping adventure to gather the finest ingredients for the celebratory dinner you had planned.

As you roamed the aisles, selecting the items with care and excitement, thoughts of the evening ahead filled you with warmth. The memories of the past year, the struggles you both overcame, and the promise of a shared future fueled your enthusiasm for the night you had envisioned.

The disappointment settled in as you returned home, groceries in hand, to find Coryo absent once again. The carefully planned evening to celebrate slipped through your fingers, replaced by a note explaining his absence due to an important candidate meeting for the upcoming election.

As the evening unfolded in solitude, the flickering candlelight highlighted the void left by Coryo’s absence. The apartment, once a haven of shared moments, now felt like an empty shell. The Capitol streets, once envisioned as a path to navigate together, seemed like a lonely stretch.

Laying on your couch, a familiar place of solace, exhaustion had finally taken its toll, lulling you into a restless sleep. As you drifted into slumber, the anticipation of Coryo’s return lingered in the air, a silent hope that he would fulfill the promise he made after the intense argument.

In the quiet of the night, the creaking of the door announced Coryo’s return. He entered cautiously, the weight of the broken promises etched on his face as he saw you peacefully asleep on the couch. The soft glow of the dimly lit room highlighted the tired lines on his face.

As he stood there, a debate waged within him—whether to gently wake you up and guide you to bed or to let you rest on the couch. He pondered over the fragile state of your relationship, unsure of the right course of action. The roses he held in his hand seemed to carry the weight of unspoken apologies, a peace offering to bridge the gap that had widened between you.

Eventually, Coryo decided to wake you up, his voice a gentle whisper in the stillness of the room. “Hey, wake up,” he said, holding the roses out in an attempt to mend the strained connection between you.

Your eyes fluttered open, the dim room coming into focus as you saw Coryo standing there with the roses. Confusion briefly clouded your waking moments, but as the events of the night flooded back, a surge of frustration and disappointment overcame you.

“Where have you been, Coriolanus?” You screamed at him, frustration and anger punctuating each word as you sat up from your position on the couch.

Coryo was taken aback, not by the intensity of your anger but by the fact you called him ‘Coriolanus’. In all the years you had known each other, not once had you addressed him by his first name. From the day the two of you met, it had always been ‘Coryo’—a name that held the echoes of your shared history and the intimacy of a connection that had weathered the storms of time.

In a mix of exhaustion and raw emotion, you went off on him, unleashing a torrent of words that had bottled up during the hours of waiting. The importance of the date, the broken promises, and the repetitive cycle of disappointment fueled your outburst.

Coryo stammered in response to your outburst, his eyes reflecting a mix of surprise and mild panic. “I was busy with a meeting; I thought I wrote a note?” he offered, the uncertainty in his voice betraying the realization that he might have overlooked a crucial detail in communicating his whereabouts.

“Oh, I saw the note, but really? On our anniversary, you just had to be busy on our special day.” The words tumbled out of your mouth, a mix of disappointment and frustration lacing each syllable. The weight of the occasion and the significance of your anniversary seemed to amplify the impact of Coryo’s absence and lack of a more personal gesture.

Coryo, faced with your pointed words, could only offer a remorseful expression, realizing the gravity of the situation. The note, which might have been intended as an explanation, now felt insufficient in the face of the emotional void left by his absence on such a meaningful day.

“I understand that you are busy, but don’t you see that it leaves me busy being hurt?” You continued, the vulnerability in your voice cutting through the air. Your breathing patterns became a palpable rhythm, the heaviness of your breaths echoing the weight on your chest.

The room, once a space of shared moments and comfort, seemed to be closing in on you. The familiar surroundings that had provided solace now felt suffocating, the air thick with unresolved tension. The weight of disappointment and hurt seemed to manifest physically, making it harder to breathe.

Everything was spinning as the reality of the moment sank in. The couch, once a haven, now felt like a confined space where the complexities of your relationship played out. The emotional storm unleashed by the missed anniversary swirled around you, leaving you breathless and disoriented.

“Hey,” his voice softened, a gentle murmur cutting through the emotional storm. “Take a second and breathe; smell the rose.” Coryo’s tender words carried a soothing tone, and he pushed the bouquet of roses closer to your nose, an offering of fragrant calmness amid the turmoil.

“Why don’t you understand, Coryo? It’s the time, not the flowers, that I want.” Your voice carried the weight of unmet expectations and the longing for meaningful connection. The bouquet of roses, though a well-intentioned gesture, seemed inadequate in the face of the emotional void left by his absence on your anniversary.

Coriolanus tried to make another promise, his voice tinged with remorse and desperation: “I swear, I’ll make time in my day for you; I’ll change, I promise.”

But you, weary from the cycle of broken promises, couldn’t bring yourself to accept it this time. The weight of disappointment had become too much to bear. “No more promises, Coryo. I can’t keep going through this. It’s not just about time; it’s about trust, and that has been broken too many times.”

A breaking point had been reached, and you couldn’t endure the hurt any longer. In a surge of frustration and anger, you yelled at him to get out of your apartment, the words hanging heavily in the air like a verdict on the fate of your relationship. The once-familiar space now felt charged with the culmination of unresolved emotions, the walls echoing with the impact of your declaration.

He hesitated, unwilling to accept the finality of your words. “Please, just give me one more chance. I’ll prove it to you,” Coryo pleaded, his desperation laid bare.

As he lingered, you raised your voice, the intensity of your anger escalating to the point where it scared him. “I can’t keep living like this! I’ve given you chances, and each time, it’s the same story. I need more than promises; I need actions.”

Coriolanus, realizing the gravity of the situation, began to fumble for words. “I love you, and I don’t want to lose you,” he admitted, his vulnerability evident on his face.

In a desperate attempt to salvage the situation, he refused to leave. “We can work through this; we always do,” he insisted, his voice tinged with a mix of hope and desperation.

But faced with your escalating emotions, he felt a growing unease. “I just need some time to think,” you asserted, the strain in your voice clear.

That’s when you dropped a bomb, threatening to reveal the truth about his actions, potentially ruining his chances of becoming president. The weight of the threat hit its mark, and a momentary panic set in. “You can’t do that. It’s not just about us; it’s about my career, about everything I’ve worked for,” Coryo protested, his anxiety palpable.

Coriolanus, realizing the potential consequences, turned to leave. However, as he retreated, a chilling declaration escaped his lips, “This isn’t over. You are mine and always will be.” The ominous words lingered in the air, leaving a sense of foreboding and uncertainty in their wake. The door closed behind him, the once-shared space now a silent witness to the shattered fragments of a relationship that seemed irreparable.

[a-soft-hornytiny]

Loved.

Summary: They don’t love me as much as I love them was what you thought while leaving for the better. And it was too late when they realized how important you are to them.

Word count: 1.5k+

Genre: Angst

Pairing: poly!ateez x neutral!reader

Warnings: neglect (be careful while reading) let me know if i missed something.

Notes: this is an anon request, thanks for requesting. It reminded me of the reaction i did to you distancing yourself hehe i rarely write angst and im not sure how happy i am with it but I hope it’s to your liking! 

Part 2 is up!

Taglist: after the cut (let me know if you wanna be added)

—————————————

Where did it go wrong? You thought while frantically packing your things. You had spent hours and hours to find what you did to deserve this but you couldn’t find anything. Nothing pointed towards you doing something wrong but nonetheless you were here, aggressively stuffing your things into a bag while tears were streaming down your face. 

It had started about a month ago. You should’ve been suspicious when they started coming home even later than usual, some of them not at all. Always telling you that there was a meeting at work and that they had already eaten, leaving you to sit at the dining table alone. In the beginning you had still waited for them, hoping every day that at least one of them would be there and have dinner with you but it was always the same.

“Sorry.” “The boss invited us for dinner.” “I’m so tired I need to go to sleep.” “We had take out at work.” 

It left you confused. There was a time where they fought about who can sit next to you during the meals but now it seemed like they didn’t care anymore. You had only realised what exactly was happening when you saw a picture on Wooyoung phone. A picture of them with one of their colleagues. A beautiful woman with a bright smile, surrounded by your boyfriends. 

Jealousy had immediately risen inside of you but you didn’t say anything. It was not like they weren’t allowed to spend time with other people. Instead, you let your doubts eat you from the inside. Did they eat with her every day? Was she the reason they stayed at work longer than they would normally? Was she better than you? 

The worst part was that they didn’t notice. They didn’t notice how you felt and that you were distancing yourself. You would’ve thought that at least one of them cares. But all they cared about was being with that woman. 

What hurt you the most was that they didn’t tell you about her. If they had been honest with you, you wouldn’t have created all these scenarios in your head. But they lied to you. 

“Yeosang?” You tried to get his attention by tapping his shoulder. It was rare that all eight of them were at home. You wanted to talk about it. Voice your anxious thoughts. Letting them go. “Who is that woman you all have been hanging around?” You asked him because you knew he would be honest with you. The room instantly became silent.

“Oh? Do you mean Haeun? She works with us.” Yeosang answered, not giving you a lot of information. “Why do you ask?” 

You didn’t know what to say. “I-.. I’m just curious.” You stuttered, looking down at your feet. 

“She is really fun to be around! Recently she even invited us for dinner and paid.” San said excitedly. His words stabbed right into your heart. This was worse than you expected.

They weren’t cheating on you. You somehow could feel that. It was worse. They hadn’t been doing anything with a bad intention. They simply enjoyed spending time with her. 

They took you for granted. 

From that conversation on you decided not to chase after them anymore. You didn’t wait until they came home to eat dinner. You didn’t ask them how their day was. The few messages that you got during the day, you ignored. If they wanted to tell you something they could tell you in person. 

Your boyfriends on the other side didn’t realize how much time they were spending with Haeun. And how less they were spending time with you. 

The first one to notice that something was weird about you was Mingi. He had always left you a message during the day. Sometimes about work, what they ate for lunch or when they would be coming home. And normally you would respond relatively quickly. But you didn’t answer at all.

He sat in his practice room, eyes glued on his phone. Read two hours ago. It said on his screen. Mingi had voiced his concerns to the others but they disagreed saying that you didn’t behave differently. But he missed you. He wanted to eat dinner with you. Yes, Haeun was fun and when she first got introduced to the team, it was exciting to meet someone new. But he missed the familiarity. It had always been important to Mingi that he was not taken for granted and now he was afraid that they had done exactly that to you. 

But he didn’t act on his feelings. He didn’t want to cause drama where there was none.

The second one to miss you was Jongho. “Y/n what do you…” He wanted to ask you for your opinion on his singing when he turned around and faced an empty room. Right, Y/n isn’t here. He reminded himself, immediately feeling a sting in his heart. Every Tuesday you would follow him to practice and listen to him sing. But as soon as he thought about it he realized that you hadn’t been there in multiple weeks. Jongho instantly remembered Mingi’s concerns and decided to go look for him.

When they finally opened up about their feelings and what they had been observing, Mingi and Jongho went to tell the others. 

Before they could even finish what they were trying to say, Seonghwa tried to call you. He was blaming himself for not giving you the attention you deserved. He wanted to beat himself up. It was so clear now that Mingi and Jongho had mentioned it.

How could they neglect you like this and not even notice? 

And that was the same question you asked yourself as you zipped up your bag. Just as you wanted to put your phone into your pocket, it started ringing. It was Seonghwa. You took a deep breath as you declined the call and left the apartment.

You didn’t know for how long or how far but you needed to get away. Right after getting into the taxi you had ordered, you turned off your phone indefinitely.

“Y/n isn’t answering.” Seonghwa announced, his voice shaking. 

“Get in the car. I’m driving us home.” Yunho said, leaving the room with big steps. The others following him. Yunho’s mind was racing. He wanted to stay calm. He needed to stay calm. He had to be strong. It didn’t matter how he felt, all he wanted was to see your face and make sure everything is fine. It was all just imagination. You will be waiting at home. He tried to tell himself while he was getting into the car. 

Hongjoong was trying to remember any signs of you changing while he was squeezing himself into the car. He had never been home as much as the others so it wasn’t strange for him to eat alone or to sneak into the bedroom without waking anyone up. But something had been strange. This morning, when he came out of the bathroom, he caught you staring at him. And he could swear you had tears in your eyes. But since you didn’t say anything he had assumed you were fine. This damn assumption.

When they finally arrived at their apartment, San immediately jumped out of the car and ran to the door.

“Y/n? Y/n!” He called you before he even entered the building. Wooyoung and Yeosang were right behind him. After finally opening the door they stormed in searching for you in their home. The rest followed them slowly, scared to not find you. 

It wasn’t until he heard a sob that Wooyoung slowed down. A sob? He made his way over to your room, gently pushing the door open. His eyes widened as he saw San kneeling in front of your bed, a note in his hands and his face buried in your sheets. 

“Sannie?” Wooyoung slowly walked closer to his loved one. “Y/n…” San sobbed, not able to form a sentence. “What is it Sannie?” Wooyoung kneeled down next to him, softly taking the note from his hands. As he started reading, tears formed in his eyes. 

And that was when the others finally found them. They looked at Wooyoung, hope and pain in their eyes at the same time as he slowly shook his head. Yeosang’s legs gave in as he saw the expression on Wooyoung’s face. You were gone. No no no that’s impossible he thought, staring to the ceiling with a blank face. You couldn’t leave them.

Still not wanting to believe what was happening, Yunho harshly snapped the note out of Wooyoung’s hand. 

I am going on a trip. Don’t text or call me, I need time to think. I hope you understand. I loved you so much.

His head went numb.

Loved. 

————

Tags: @jonghoisbabie @multidreams-and-desires @little-precious-baby @yunhofingers-writes @serialee @crimsonbubble @cometoceantrenches @em--ilysm @deja-vux @kawaiiloli00 @ddeonghwva @aaaaajonghooooo @sansbun @cookies-n-joong @plonys @hijirikaww @nari-nim @yunkiwii @mingi-ivity @racheloveyunho @seongsangsgf @jhmylove @lizsvcks @yunhobabygurl @leoninadecorazones @kerra-that-one-random-fangirl @star1117-archives

————

[angry-tarot]

a message from your pain

talking about suffering is hard, but ultimately necessary. welcome to this pac, I am here to shed light on your wounds in ways that are helpful. by the way, sorry if the artwork is triggering, I tried to find the perfect ones that really encapsulate what deep pain and despair feel like, but the messages might be more soothing than the pics lol.

welcome to your reading ! just wanted to say thanks in advance for stopping by 🫡

Pile one 🖤

You're putting your sword down. Confrontation is a no no for you, isn't it? You rather die than pick up a fight again. You swallow your words, your boundaries are non existent, you're constantly on edge and anxious. Hear me out, pile one. When you're putting your sword down, you're not actually putting it down. You're shoving it right in your own stomach. I'm not telling you to become angry and start fighting everyone around you. But if you keep quiet, taking it all in, you're going to become sick. You want to keep the peace, but not your peace. You want to keep yourself small, not bothersome, for these people's comfort. If talking to the people around you is so conflict inducing, why bother having these people around at all? If your boundaries aren't heard or even allowed to be set, why bother having these people around you AT ALL? If you must live with them, consider moving somewhere more peaceful, like a family member. Take action if your words aren't welcomed. Leave. Remove yourself. Stop taking in poison, because the longer you do, the longer the healing will take. You're already feeling awful. Your suffering exist because you feel obligated to be around people who hurt you and demand you to be silent. Set yourself free. And don't try to talk to them about it. You will have to unpack all of this on your own, or with other people who will understand and hear you. Process everything you buried deep within you by journaling, speaking out loud, punching a pillow. Just let it all out. Short them you will have to slowly heal from all this crystalized, internalized abuse. Long term, recognize this pattern: whenever you feel the need to be quiet to not bother someone else, leave, and never go back to the people who did this to you.

Pile two 🖤

Oh, your pile actually resonates with the pic you chosen. I see an artist, a creative or someone who does something out of the norm. You could even be a witch, like me. The thing is, you have internalized a lot of criticism, and no longer feel as passionate as you did before. You want to create and be who you were before, but you lost your drive and motivation. It seems a lot of conflict used to exist or still exists because of your hobby, career or spirituality, and you felt like it lost the point. You could've tried to prove something to these people, you could've tried to argue, and nothing worked. Even your own progress wasn't matching to your expectations. So what if they were right? Your spark died, but now that you have worked so hard, it's hard to let go. It became your personality, it used to be your comfort, but now there's only a shadow of what it used to be. I'm not going to tell you whether you keep going or not, this is your decision. But you can regain the spark if you want to. But try to protect it better this time, whatever it is that you do. Hide it, if it is possible. Avoid taking about it to people who are committed to misunderstanding you. And go backwards. Reconnect with it, by understanding what made you so fascinated and entranced by it in the beginning. Maybe, that vision is no longer appealing, and if so, create another one. Restart from scratch, but have a vision, just like you did in the beginning. Say to yourself you are committed to falling in love again with your craft, if that's what you choose. If not, it's always ok to let it go. You can always find another something to be passionate about.

Pile three 🖤

Someone taught you that money was the only thing in life. That it defined your worth and value as a person. That nothing else was as important. That your safety was defined by the amount of money you had, from a young age or a very vulnerable period in your life. So your mind attached to the idea that if you didn't had money, you were in mortal danger, you were worthless and a nobody. Your relationship with money, regardless of how much you have or not, is distorted. You could be stable and still feel like it's not enough, or you could be just starting in adulthood and feeling very scared of the future. Money is important, yes. But it's exactly this fear, this pressure, this feeling like your life depends on it, it's paralyzing you, it's traumatizing and deeply agonizing. What will help you is basically lots of cbt. Ever heard of catastrophizing? Cognitive distortions? These could be playing a large role on your mindset and consequently, the amount of money you're able to make. These tools of cbt can help you relax and see things a bit more rationally. Since it's personal to each of you, I cannot fix your fears, but I can give you some of my tools for you to fix them yourself.

[miniversse]

⭑ “snowbound” ⭑ pt. 1

╰┈➤ OTHER PARTS

⭑ bang chan x female reader

⭑ content includes: drinking, fwb relationship, mentions of sex, non-idol chan, non-idol reader, established relationship, work relationship, drunk confessions, lots of inner talk

⭑ note: i won’t advise you to skip the build up! i’m planning to create a very small series for this idea i had, probably another part or two. lmk what you think!

⭑ minors dni

⭑——————————————————⭑

your hands are wrapped around his hard chest, and your legs were squeezed up to keep you warm from the winter mornings. before your mind could think of what breakfast to make today or what chans schedule will look like, you’re struck with memories of yesterday night, and that you and chan are no longer friends with benefits…

you progressed from taking shots to consuming full soju bottles, you lined them up with his like trophies and admired the late night snowfall. you and chan met through work, and visit after visit, kiss after kiss, you became each-others stress relievers, and you wouldn’t complain about that until yesterday night.

“have you hooked up with anyone else at work?”

the question has been waiting at the tip of your tongue, and the only thing holding you back from asking it was to be respectful and not invasive, but when your on your 3rd bottle of soju, what’s holding you back?

“nope. why do you ask?”

“oh, i was just wondering, ‘yknow”

“yeah, i never got time to meet anyone outside our office block so it’s just been you”

you nod and rest your lips on the mouth of the soju bottle. you sat close to him on his balcony, admiring the light snowfall that coated the city with white and shiny flakes. this moment reminded you of why you loved chris, it wasn’t really for his sex, it was the way his presence filled you with warmth and the desire to always be next to him. you knew you shouldn’t develop feelings because it doesn’t seem mutual, but your lives were harsh. work was demanding and you only got a few hours between each-other to empty your tension.

fuck it

you turn your gaze to him and watch his adam’s apple move with his hearty chugs.

“chris, you think it’s ok if i talk to you ‘bout something?”

“don’t you wanna wait till your sober?”

“yea but, i’ve had this thought for far too long, and i think this way would be easier for me to confess”

he turns his chair to face you and faces forward, giving you his full attention.

“whats up”

you began to feel nervous, and maybe began regretting this empty confidence you shone on him, but you and chan have seen a lot in your lives, so it wouldn’t hurt to see more.

“i’ve been seeing you in a different lens, not one where we get to fuck and call it a day. one where we are together through thick and thin.”

his expression remains the same and he keeps quiet, expecting to hear more.

“i know that it would be a big jump for us, but it could be a better jump.”

you place the soju bottle on your lips and get past a few sips before your stomach begins to turn and twist and your fingers tremble.

he sighs and leans back in the chair, placing his hands in his pockets. you began to look around for your belongings, preparing to be kicked out of his house.

“i brought you over to tell you that i wanted you for more than your body, but i guess it’s useless now”

you’re muscles relaxed, and you felt warmer at his reassurance. you couldn’t help but give him a big smile, trying to keep your cool. he smiled back, the cold smoke sneaking out the creases of his mouth.

“well, i guess that’s out the way.” you laugh, trying to fill in the silence. you haven’t noticed the increasing intensity of the snowfall, so you grab the bottles, ashtray and head inside to lay by chans fireplace.

he settled for a warm shower, but you settled to lying down on his heated hardwood floors, watching the fire dance and crackle as it soothed your bones. chan had given you one of his hoodies to change into to keep warm. the door of his bedroom creeks open, and he walks out in an black t-shirt, plaid pants and socks.

“you’re gonna freeze to death like that! and you haven’t dried your hair?”

he approaches you and lies down next to you, meeting you at eye level. you couldn’t describe how this moment felt. the orange flames casted on his smooth, relaxed face. his hand was placed over yours, his fingers tracing around yours. your body was physically there, but mentally, you and chan were bound, or rather, snowbound.

“i’m fine babe”

you’re brought back to life with three words that left his lonely mouth.

“babe? i never thought i’d hear you call me that”

“and i never thought i’d be laying down next to you by the fireplace, exchanging looks”

you wiggle closer to him, taking in the soft smell of his shampoo being overridden with his strong cologne. your lips follow the scent, and end up landing on his warm neck. he raises his head, giving you more to work with. his hand was settled on your back, bringing you closer and closer till you could feel the heat of his body against yours.

your mouth seemed to be the star of the show now, but that might change.

⭑ PART 2

[demonsword586]

Beelzebub Attacker part 1

Whew! This took a little longer than I expected. Then again,the first parts are always a bit longer. The next part is coming in a few days!

(Pg: Abyssos streets)

The crowded streets of Abyssos at night.

Nicknamed the Country of Pleasure,the nights were brighter than the days.

And there,you...

Sniff Sniff

Beelzebub: Ha....Smells nice...

You were walking down that busy,tumultous street with Beelzebub,a handsome man who smelled your hair and was openly horny.

Mc: Ah! Don't smell me there...

Beelzebub: Why not? It smells delicious-

Embarrassed,you tried to push Beelzebub away,but it was impossible because he had his arm around your shoulders,half-leaning on you.

The streets of Abyssos's entertainment district where even more devils come and became crowded as the sun set,

And you had no choice but to walk closer to Beelzebub to avoid being run over by other devils.

The devils grew in number,the neon lights of the night were blindly bright,and Beelzebub bamboozled you most of all.

His flushed face,his soft voice and his guidence.

Beelzebub: Welcome to the night of Abyssos,the city of drugs,gambling and pleasure.

Beelzebub: Abyssos is a country where everything is legal. Oh! Except stealing other's lovers.

Beelzebub: I wanted to introduce you to the back alleys of our proud Abyssos. For the pride of Abyssos is not in the palace but in the back streets.

Beelzebub: Everywhere in Gehenna is like a back alley,but no offense,it's nostalgic. Keke~

Beelzebub said many things as though he was excited. You had never seen Beelzebub in such high spirits before.

Beelzebub: Oh! I wanted to go to that store with you.

He raised his finger,pointing at the sign far away.

{White Lovers}

Beelzebub: That restaurant is famous for making it's sauce with the semen of the healthiest,best-batured male devils in Abyssos.

Beelzebub: It's such that you would dance at the healthy taste once you try it.

Mc: (What the....It's strange but I'm curious.)

Leaning on you to the point it made you staggger,Beelzebub spoke joyfully with his arm around your waist.

Then,he pointed at the sign on the next store with his finger and continued.

{Forest of mushrooms}

Beelzebub: The shop next door is a cafe rhat distills the saliva of the most handsome men in Abyssos to make a variety of drinks.

Beelzebub: It's been around for 800 years,so there's a lot of tradition and a lot of pride.

Beelzebub: At the end of the day,they collect saliva and put it in Baba Yaga's cauldron to distill overnight,then make a drink from it in the morning to sell.

Beelzebub: There's only a certain amount of spit you can collect per night,so there's a limited amount they can sell,and I've only tried it a few times.

Mc: (So weird,but I want to try it!)

Afterward,Beelzebub entertained you by showing you around as if he were taking you on a trip.

Of course,you were most excited and happy to walk through a main street with an extraordinarily handsome man-

Mc: (Ugh...Satan will be angry)

That was right. You were at the royal tower of Gehenna a few minutes ago.

(Pg changes to Gehenna halls)

While enjoying a cup of tea with Ppyong and Sitri,Sitri's tea was too strong and caused Ppyong to go into caffeine shock. So the two momentarily left you for a while.

Beelzebub: Shall we get moving?

Mc: Beelzebub?!

Beelzebub appeared from behind your back,slipped his hand behind your knee to scooped you up in a princess hug,and flew out through the window.

(Pg changes back to Abyssos streets)

As a result,here you were.

You werw casually enjoying your date with Beelzebub,as if you'd arrange it days before.

Mc: (Wait,why was he in Gehenna? I mean,since when was he nearby?! And how did we arrive in Abyssos so quickly?!)

You were full of questions,but you were too hectic. And whats more...

Mc: (It feels like Beelzebub can disappear anytime soon,so I don't want to waste time talking about trivial things)

Even if it was Beelzebub's strategy to make you think that, you were willing to be fooled.

Mc: (Because Beelzebub is so cool that I don't want to waste a single second even when he's right next to me...)

You furtively raised your head to look up at Beelzebub's side profile as he joyfully looked around his surroundings.

The man who was leaning against you so casually,that you almost felt regretful,was looking around with a faint smile of longing and affection in his eyes.

Mc: Come to think of it....the surrounding devils are quiet. I thought they would cause a fuss again with Beelzebub being here.

Mc: Don't tell me that you caused a spell or something?

Beelzebub: Well,what do you think?

Beelzebub chuckled instead of answering. A naughty man who never gave a serious answer. But this was as good as 'yes'.

Otherwise,it didn't make sense that they would not recognize Beelzebub when they were so close to each other, they were bumping shoulders.

Mc: Anyway,what happened? It's so sudden!

Beelzebub: Sniff* Sniff*

Mc: (I was an idiot for wanting an answer...)

Beelzebub buried his nose in the top of your head as though he didn't have time to answer.

Bewlzebub: There are about three places where you smell really strongly. One is here,another is in your armpits and the third is in your-

Speaking in joy,Beelzebub pretended to straighten up and whispered in your ear.

Beelzebub: And 'that' place which began to get wet as soon as I started sniffing you.

Mc:!!

You tightened your thighs before you knew it.

Beelzebub snickered and rubbed his cheek in your messy hair.

Beelzebub: I missed you. That's all.

Mc: !!!

Your heart thumped without resistence at the innocent confession,lightly delivered at the strange timing.

Strangely enough,you didn't feel like hiding the feelings in your heart.

Minhyeok's face momentarily flashed in your mind,but at the same time,another more honest emotion you had...

Mc: I missed you too.

Beelzebub: I thought you did. That's why I came here to see you.

The man's words had no weight,no modesty,but you thought it didn't matter.

Mc: (It's nice to hear)

With that honest emotion alone,you decided to enjoy this situation.

As though he had sensed your feelings,Beelzebub began to walk while pulling you closer to him and holding !ou more closely than before.

Just then,a sign poking out above the tall devils' head caught your eye.

Mc: Beelzebub,what kind of store is that? It has a drawing of a knife...is it a restaurant?

Beelzebub: Ahh,thats the store run by a devil who has the ability to change your gender.

Beelzebub: If you invest a few more seconds there,you can change !our gender right away.

Beelzebub: Its only available there,but it's a favorite spot for devils who want to swap positions with their lover.

Mc: T-That's amazing!

Beelzebub: Well,but it doesn't matter to you,right? All the devils here woudn't mind if you were a man or a woman.

Beelzebub said in a sing-song voice as thought the fact made him really happy.

Beelzebub: Ah,we're nearly there.

Mc: (You had a destination in mind?!)

You gasped in suprise and pointed at the nearest sign.

The sign had a drawing of a rope which looked like a noose.

Mc: Is that our destination?

Beelzebub: Ah,no. But shall we stop by there if you're intrested?

Mc: What do they have in there?

Beelzebub: It's a suicidal cafe. The customers can decide on the method of suicide.

Beelzebub: They can die by decapitation,dismemberment or drowning.

Mc: What?! Do they really die?!

Beelzebub: No,the owner of the store comes to save you just before you die,so you won't die for real.

Beelzebub: But it's just a place you go to feel that ectatic feeling of death.

Beelzebub: When you're really a second away from death,the owner uses his ability to restore you to your previous state.

Beelzebub: From what I heard,the owner is from Paradise Lost....He's a mysterious devil.

Mc: Is it alright for a devil from another country to do business here?

Beelzebub: Well,Bael will take care of that well,so - I don't really know about things like that.

Mc: (You're the king,but you don't know.)

Feeling trivially shocked,you sent words of comfort to Bael in your mind.

Just thwn Beelzebub came to a stop and so did you.

He had come to a stop infront of a bright red,steel door in the shape of a large arch.

Mc: Is this today's destination?

Beelzebub: No,this is a shelter.

Beelzebub: In human terms...a home in the woods? A bench in a large square in the center of a park? I don't know.

Mc: This flashy,prominent thing is a shelter?

Beelzebub: It should be flashy and prominent for you to notice and rest inside,shoudn't it?

Mc: Now that you say it,yea.

Persuaded by Beelzebub's reason,you opened the large door and entered with Beelzebub.

(Pg changes to the 'shelter' inside)

But you froze,your expectations of relaxing music or quiet room dashed as soon as you walked through the door.

Happy-looking Male devil: Ah...hnn!...

Happy-looking Female devil: Hn,hnn-hnngh...ah...ah!

Over the sticky,jazzy music,loud moans from around the spacious room overlapped,creating a cacophony that tickled your stomach.

In the reddish room,there was a plush couch that was obviously meant for relaxation, but it was covered in bodily fluids spilled by the devils everywhere...

And they were even conducting intercourse on the couch.

Mc: B-Beelzebub,I think we entered the wrong room...

Scratching your cheek in embarrassment,you pulled on thw hem of Beelzebub's clothes. He turned,then-

Beelzebub: Raise your arms. Say hooray!

Mc: Hooray?...

Beelzebub required it all too naturally,and you raised your arms without even doubting him.

Then the shirt you were wearing was pulled off the top of your head.

Mc: Huhhh?!!!

Startled,you raised your arms too late to cover your chest,

Beelzebub: How nice of you. Are you helping me?

Said Beelzebub,then casually threw his arms around you as if to embrace you,and immediately reached behind your back to unhook your bra.

Mc: Huhhhh?!

You made a stupid sound again,but you were already in Beelzebub's arms,stripped of your shirt and upper underwear.

Mc: W-Wait! I don't know what's going on now-

Beelzebub: We are going to take a break!

Beelzebub smiled as he hugged you.

You were about to experience a 'break' rhat you had never experienced before.

[nisuna]

By popular demand I present you part 2 of the Toji x single mom!reader AU. Hope you enjoy!

(read part 1 here!!)

TW: A lot of bickering as always haha, bj, throat fucking, deep throating, masturbation, cum swallowing, you're both so stubborn holy moly, 1.3k words, Toji x single mom!reader

<3masterlist<3

---------------Strictly 18+MDNI---------------

He stayed longer than just for breakfast and actually became a frequent visitor. He even met your kids on one of his weekly stays. You didn't expect him to be good with kids at all, but they immediately took a liking to him. As soon as your parents heard you had a new man in your life and saw how happy you were they were eager to take the kids in more often so you two had time alone. It was an ordinary day, he was sleeping in as usual, but you were already busy making yourself ready. He promised to take you out on a date today, however even after your many attempts to finally get him out of bed, he still refused. A woman can only take that much, so you finally snapped.

"You're acting like you got pegged last night."

That woke him right up, he even sat up. "Excuse my tiredness after having to do everything myself, pillow princess.", he snarled

He's so annoying. You had to groan as you held your head. "Oh, is that so? Poor you, but just so you know, I do a lot of work, too." you approached him, pointing your finger at him

"Really? Haven't seen much of that lately. You have to try harder or I won't believe you." he was so smug about it as he stood up and took your hand in his.

"Just you wait, I'm gonna prove you wrong."

"Oh, how so?", he mused while pulling your body flush against his, kissing your hand.

"Stop it, we're late, we don't have time for this right now. Move your ass and don't be so stubborn.", you tried to push him away.

"What are you gonna do about it?"

Oh, now he's done it. You finally lost your temper and pulled him to stand against the wall. You palmed him through his pants as you pressed yourself against him.

"I'm gonna suck you dry, boy." , you said, already getting on your knees in front of him and pulling his underwear down.

"Hah, I'd love to see you try, do you even- oh fuck"

"Does he ever shut up?", you rolled your eyes while almost swallowing him whole. You muffled your impending gag with a hard suck.

You pulled yourself off his cock, tongue still sliding over the underside of it. "Just shut up and savor it."

Before he could speak you sucked his tip back into your mouth. You bobbed your head while his cock was hitting the back of your tight throat. You could feel the tears forming at the corners of your eyes.

To make it a bit easier on yourself, you pulled away spitting on your hand and pumping him while your tongue kept playing with his tip. He was being awfully quiet, which made you quite proud. Such a huge man at your mercy, you were definitely digging it. His eyes were glued on you throughout. Even though he had to throw his head back at your skillful tongue, he kept looking back down as if he couldn't believe his eyes. You shot him a smirk as you pulled up his shirt and kissed up his hard abs, your hand keeping a steady rhythm. He was messy already and you felt yourself grow wet, desperately rubbing your thighs together for some kind of relief. You were getting impatient, so you couldn't stop yourself from slipping your fingers between your legs. A moan fell from your lips at the contact. He didn't notice at first, but after feeling you moan around his cock so eagerly he finally looked down. Surely you wouldn't get so much pleasure from only sucking his cock, right?

"Holy shit are you touching yourself? Fuck that's hot.", he groaned grabbing a fistful of your hair and pulling you off of his cock.

Your eyes were still a bit teary and you let out a few coughs, taking a deep breath while you kept playing with yourself, showing him everything. Connecting your lips back to his cock you whispered. "Gotta make this enjoyable for myself too you know" You flattened your tongue and licked a thick stripe from his base and back to his tip. You were working yourself open with the same rhythm you were sucking on his cock.

"Fuck, how are you so good at this?"

"The best, actually.", you grinned, sticking your tongue out and playing with your clit.

"Alright, alright, too much talking." he groaned. "Get back to sucking, you look prettier that way.", he smirked before shoving his cock back down throat with two hands on your head.

He let out a deep moan after he bottomed out, continuing his teasing. "And keep rubbing yourself, I want you to cum with my cock down your throat."

Before you could even roll your eyes, he began moving and you felt like you were about to suffocate as you dug your nails into his beefy thighs. You tried your best to relax your throat as much as possible and went back to playing with your dripping cunt. You tried dipping your fingers in from time to time but your fingers just didn't do it for you anymore after having experienced his thick and long ones, let alone his cock. So you opted for circling your sensitive clit with your nimble fingers instead. His smell and the sensation of his heavy cock on your tongue was making you weak. He on the other hand also enjoyed the sensation of you moaning around his cock and how your throat would constrict from time to time. Oh he won't last long, but he has to hold out until you cum first.

"Good fucking girl, you look so pretty like that. Make yourself cum and I'll fill up your mouth. Fuck there we go."

You felt yourself twitch with every touch and couldn't stop your eyes from rolling in the back of your head as you came with a muffled moan and a mouthful of cock.

He was sooo smug about it and kept making snarky remarks and you let him while you were fingering yourself through your orgasm. But it didn't take you long to get back on track as you stopped his hips with your hand. You were supposed to be the one to make him cum. And that's exactly what you did, pumping his shaft with one hand while bobbing your head and paying special attention to his tip with your tongue. You locked eyes with him and that's what broke him. He grabbed your head, shoving himself down your throat as far as he could and finally gave you a taste of his cum.

It tasted like shit, but you had a point to prove so you woman-ned up and swallowed every last drop. After you were done you pulled yourself off with a pop, proudly sticking your tongue out.

"You were saying?" Now it was your turn to be smug.

"Fuck, you're good, I'll give you that."

"Very good" you hummed and got back up, rubbing out the dents on your knees from the hard floor. "So if you don't have anything else to say let's finally- hey!!", you were very rudely interrupted by him picking you up and carrying you back into your bed. "What do you think you're doing mister??", you interrogated while pulling on his ear.

"You think I can just move on and act like nothing happened after the best head of my life?"

It's so cheesy, he really acts like a horny teenager a lot. But still, you were speechless, so you just blinked at him in silence, letting him continue.

"Gotta finish what you started, sweetheart. l want you to prove me wrong some more why you're not just a pillow princess in bed." So annoying, but extremely exciting as well. "Fuck it", you gave in and crashed your lips against his while he held you up in his strong arms.

You two definitely won't make it out of the house today. Better luck next time!!

------

Part 3 anyone?? haha

[hyomacchi]

Karma Akabane with s/o who is exactly like tanjiro

────── ✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ──────

a/n:ahh tq anon for requesting this. Hope you saw this cause you req this on my (now)game acc . I was surprised to see that I got an assassination classroom req so early as it was my fav anime. Anyways tq anon again and I still want to confirm whether you're trying to be 🪻 anon or not.

context:karma akabane x tanjiro! s/o (pre-relationship and in relationship, no gender mentioned for s/o)

tw:torture(putting wasabi in people's nostrils)

────── ✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ──────

Pre-relationship:

❥ you and karma probably met in class 3-E

❥ when karma met you, he thought you're an interesting one like you're so pure how did you got into class 3-E?!

❥ he tease you for fun every single day but you don't mind it??(or you're just too dense)

"Hey (name)! You got a wide forehead!"

"Ah thank you! I inherited it from my father!"

❥ Remember that one time he shoves a wasabi to an assassin nostrils?

"Hey mx nice! Wanna see him suffer more or you can't bear it anymore?"

"Karma please stop doing that! That's mean!"

"But it's fun! I have more things in my bag that i want to try on him"

❥ in the end, you just brushed him off cause he just always like that

❥ after months of being friends, everytime karma did something sadistic or tease you, you just smile and let him do as please. There's no stopping him anyway.

❥ he seem surprised that you actually stay with him even though you know how his behavior is

❥ man starts teasing you more it makes others (and koro sensei) suspicious

"Man everyone knows you like them,just confess!"-Maehara

❥ everyone except you. Oh how oblivious you are

❥ after a lot of teasing from your classmates(and koro sensei) he just decided to confess to you somewhere near the woods when everybody's home (they're not, all of them peaking from a tree while koro sensei joined them)

"(name). I know this is sudden but i...love you.."

❥ i just know that you took too long to understand his words

"You don't need to reciprocate it I just wanna let it out-"

"I love you too karma!"

In relationship:

❥ nothing changed much, maybe he just became more romantic (or more annoying don't get me wrong this man will still tease even though you just don't understand what he's trying to do)

❥ overprotective over you

❥ i mean you're too kind. People might take advantage of you, that's where your boyfriend come to rescue

❥ some students try to bully you? Next time you see them, they'll be on their knees, begging for your forgiveness

❥ some punk trying to hit on you? They're missing the next day (no they're not dead)

❥ your dynamic with him is kinda funny ngl

❥ i mean kind person with their sadistic bf

❥ hand holding is a must! you guys were seen hand holding by koro sensei and oh god, karma's face is red now because of how much koro sensei tease him

"Nurufufu, Karma is actually touch starved~"

"Shut up you stupid octopus!"

❥ next thing you know, karma pulls out an anti koro sensei knife out of his pocket, trying to stab that octopus teacher (and failed)

❥ anyways..karma will always spoil you. You stare at an item for a second? Consider it's under your desk next day

❥ he don't mind outdoor or indoor dates, as long as he could spend time with you

❥ he's very grateful that you stayed with him

────── ✱*.｡:｡✱*.:｡✧*.｡✰*.:｡✧*.｡:｡*.｡✱ ──────

another a/n:finally i finished it! It was longer than I expected so hope you'll enjoy it anon!

[racinggirl]

first of all, congrats on graduating!! i was thinking about a childhood best friends to lovers charles x reader blurb where they both (finally) find out they have a crush on each other …

y/n likes charles, it’s obvious to everyone on the grid except him. he likes her too (but y/n’s oblivious as well), and he always fights for her attention (though he doesn’t need to, it’s always on him anyway). the timing’s just unfortunate, every time charles looks at her it seems like she’s laughing and smiling and generally being affectionate with someone that isn’t him!! what he doesn’t know is that a majority of the time she’s being teased for her crush and laughing bashfully while telling the other driver to stop - “he’s right over there! he could hear you!” - but he’s never close enough to hear :( it all comes to a peak when he finally does hear them!! “so, when will you tell him that you’ve been in love for years and years and-?” daniel says, obviously being dramatic, but charles hears and masks his broken heart with curiosity. “oh? y/n has a crush?” he questions, y/n denies it (absolutely mortified that he overheard), and daniel finallly screws them both over: “you both like each other! y/n likes you, and charles likes you!” he points to each of them, walking away once he’s done, leaving a blushing charles and a blushing y/n <3 you can decide who confesses first!!

this was a whole bunch of word vomit and turned out way longer than expected, feel no pressure to get it out quickly if you decide to pick it up!! have a good day or night <3

❤️ If only they knew...

Having a crush on someone close to you is often a challenge, especially when you do not want them to find out before knowing if the feelings were mutual. Having a crush on your best friend is even worse because there’s a lot at stake.

Monaco, the place to be for both you and Charles. However, this time it was the place to be for a lot more people than just the two of you. It was race week here in this beautiful country, meaning that the usual 40 thousand people that were present here had now drastically increased just for the weekend. Just to see them race.

Them, and him. Charles Leclerc. He had been your friend for as long as you could remember. People would often assume you and him were a couple, referring to you as a WAG. You weren’t, though, even when you wished you were.

‘’Y/N!’’ You heard Lando’s voice in your right ear. Ever since he moved to Monaco a few years ago, you and he became good friends as well. Aside from spending time together, you knew he would be able to keep a secret you couldn’t hold to yourself anymore.

You glanced over at the Brit dressed in his papaya team polo and shot him a smile. ‘’Norris.’’ You felt his arm wrapping around your shoulder as the two of you made your way towards the exit of the paddock.

Another good thing about Monaco is the fact that you’ll be able to sleep at home instead of a hotel, just like many other drivers. ‘’Charles was looking at you earlier today.’’ He smirked, slowly removing his hand from your shoulder and he shoved it in the pocket of his jeans. ‘’He’s always looking at you, you know.’’ He teased and you felt your cheeks becoming nearly as red as the new SF-24.

‘’Stop it! He’s right over there! He could hear you, idiot!’’ You murmured, your hand on his chest to give him a gentle push.

Charles was standing a few meters away from where you were. He was waiting near his car, knowing he’d take you back to your place as you also arrived with him here this morning. He saw your interactions with the McLaren driver, and he could immediately feel this burning sensation in his stomach. Most call it jealousy.

Lando looked over at the Ferrari driver and raised his hand, giving him a friendly wave before he patted your back slightly. ‘’See you tomorrow, Y/N.’’ He smirked before walking off to his scooter.

‘’Hey.’’ Charles smiled at you, opening the door for you so you could easily enter his Ferrari. ‘’Thank you.’’ You blushed, taking a seat once he let you. He always did these small things, being the gentleman he is. Opening doors for you, ordering food whenever you were too busy with school, delivering flowers for your birthday, asking you about your schoolwork, even walking with you to get groceries since he knew you hated going on your own. He was perfect in every way possible, if only you could see he was trying to be perfect for you.

‘’So, when will you tell him that you have a crush on him?’’ Daniel had been teasing you about your crush on Charles. Lando never told him, at least that’s what he swore.

Earlier that day

‘’I didn’t tell him!’’ Lando exclaimed, his hands defensively up in the air as he looked at you. ‘’I know you wanted to keep it a secret, I’m not one to break that promise.’’ He explained.

Daniel was looking at your interactions with a smile on his face. He asked you how Charles and you were doing, commenting on the fact you were wearing matching shoes – the ones Charles got you for your birthday – and asking you when your first date would be.

‘’He didn’t tell me, Y/N.’’ He chuckled. ‘’It’s obvious, the way you look at him, the way you laugh at his jokes, when most of the time they aren’t even that funny. Come on, everybody can see!’’ He laughs, watching your cheeks turn to a bright shade of red. ‘’Even just talking about him turns you into a tomato.’’ He smiled and wrapped his arm around you. You had always been good friends with most of the grid, especially since you lived in Monaco, and most of Charles’ co-workers moved here as well.

Present

‘’So, when will you tell him that you’ve been in love for years and years and-?’’

‘’Oh? Y/N has a crush?’’

Fuck.

Charles.

He had been watching you for a few seconds, mostly the seconds that Daniel wrapped his arm around you, the same way Lando did yesterday. He just wanted to be that person to you, he wanted to be the guy that made you smile the way his friends did to you, or make you giggle. If only he knew…

‘’No, I don’t.’’ You quickly exclaimed, nudging Daniel’s side which caused him to let go of you. ‘’I don’t have a crush. They are just trolling.’’ You smiled, trying your hardest to hide the blush on your cheeks when you saw Charles looking directly into your eyes.

Monza, the crowd was filled with Tifosi, the sky was red because of all the flares people light up, especially after Charles crossed the finish line first. He won, he won in Monza, and the people were going crazy.

‘’You won!’’ You laughed; your arms wrapped around his neck as you gave him the biggest hug possible. ‘’You’re incredible!’’ You smiled, kissing his cheek which gave the both of you intense butterflies, but neither of you were aware. You both thought you were the only one feeling that way.

‘’Great race, mate!’’ Daniel patted Charles’ back after he watched the two of you talk for a while. ‘’Thanks, you weren’t bad yourself.’’ Your best friend replied, receiving a chuckle from the Australian driver.

‘’Why don’t you two just kiss?’’ He then bluntly spoke, causing your eyes to widen, your cheeks to burn extremely hot, Charles to be confused and his eyes following Daniel’s who had been looking at you with a smirk.

‘’Come on guys, you’re not telling me you aren’t aware of the fact you’re both madly in love with each other. Charles, you like Y/N, Y/N, you like Charles, seal the deal and kiss already!’’ He laughed and with that he walked away, leaving the two of you stunned at what just happened.

‘’I…’’ ‘’Ehm…’’ The both of you tried to say something that would make sense, but with your cheeks as red as the sky, and your lips glued together, you were unable to.

His PR manager soon stepped in, watching his phone before looking at the driver. ‘’Charles, interviews, come on, let’s go.’’

‘’You like me?’’ You carefully asked the moment you were seated in his car. The interviews had finished, as well as the post-race press conference. You had decided to wait for him even though the two of you decided you’d go to the hotel with his team as the interviews would take a long time here in Monza.

He chuckled, grabbing the steering wheel and rubbing his thumbs on the leather of it. ‘’I thought it was obvious.’’ He smiled softly, picking on some threads of the wheel.

‘’I mean, I guess it was, but not to me.’’ You replied, not keeping your eyes away from him. You were still in the parking lot of the hotel. Neither of you spoke on your way back to the hotel. He didn’t even question why you waited for him instead of going back with his team.

‘’Who knew?’’ He asked. ‘’Who knew you had feelings for, me.’’ He whispered the last word almost inaudible, probably because it felt weird to him that he could finally say it out aloud. ‘’Almost everyone, I guess.’’ You blushed, playing with the fabric of your shirt.

‘’Everyone but me.’’ He smiled, now turning to face you. His hand gently moved to take a hold of yours, and this time it felt different. It was even worse than it used to be. Your heart was beating out of your chest because you knew the truth now. You knew the two of you had feelings for one another, and when two people like each other, it won’t take long before the next step would have been made.

You closed your eyes when you felt his breath on your lips, his warm, minty breath tickled your lips gently. ‘’May I?’’ He whispered, his left hand leaning up to cup your cheek. You didn’t nod but replied by pressing your lips on his.

Fireworks exploded in your stomach, and for the first time, you knew the same happened to him. Because he kissed you back, somehow you could feel all those years of unspoken feelings into this one single kiss. It was magical, your stomach couldn’t stop with creating more and more butterflies, and you never wanted this to end.

‘’You have no idea how long I’ve waited to be able to do that.’’ He whispers against your lips, causing the corners of your mouth to point upwards into a smile.

‘’My god… if only we knew.’’

a/n: thank you soooo much for this request! I've suddenly had some inspiration and went straight to writing it. I believe I've written it down in less than an hour ^^ Anyways, I hope you like it, I've tried to incorporate most of the things you requested, however I slightly changed the ending a little to make it more spicy. Don't forget to keep sending in requests for my graduation reqs! You were the only request that came through, so I'll probably keep this going for let's say a week or so. I'll close the reqs for this somewhere next week. So if you have some ideas and want me to write them this week, send them in :)