#oh well maybe we’ll get the Miami full race next year

[chaosinstigator]

I just realized - it’s not a sprint weekend you guys

[maemelany]

RACING HEARTS - Part I: Miami

Well hello, 

Life happened, and I didn’t write a fanfic in … three years, lol. 

I did write an actual book and will probably publish it sometime next year – but I needed a break from it. So here’s a small something (don’t know if it’s going to be a series, no promises here) 

Anyway, I’m back and enjoy

Mae 

Summary: y/n is an influencer who is doing very well currently. She has no interest in F1 and only watches races because her little brother is a huge fan. So when a sponsor offers her passes for the Miami weekend with Mercedes, she cannot refuse and decides to surprise her little brother. 

But will he be the only one to be surprised? 

Warnings: none, just fluff 

Word count: 3.2k 

Part II here

Friday Practice Sessions

It was hot. You expected the sun to be out because it was Miami, after all, and you were glad you went with that light summer dress you got gifted by a brand after the Paris fashion week a few months ago. 

The paddock was full of celebrities, some you recognized and had seen before, and others you were simply starstruck to encounter in such a casual environment. Especially since it was still Friday, not even the actual race day. 

Of course, the Miami F1 weekend was big, and getting paddock tickets was a big deal. And even if you suddenly forgot how lucky you were, your little brother was there to remind you.  

Of course, you worked hard to get to where you were now. A few years back, brands couldn’t care less about you. You had to work hard, take your content to the next level, and be consistent—all that while working two jobs to invest in what you knew you were born to do. 

And it paid off. You were still shocked when people you’d only seen on TV knew your name or actors you fangirled on started conversing with you in red carpet lines. 

But really, days like today were what you were most grateful for. The best part of your work was making the people you loved enjoy life, and your brother was ecstatic. With the big age gap between you, you hadn’t had many opportunities to bond. Your brother was eighteen years younger than you and was born after your mother remarried and finally found the happiness she deserved. 

You loved your brother more than anything, but he wasn’t usually the most talkative nine-year-old boy around. 

Maybe he’d talked more since you’d arrived in Miami than he had this entire year. 

But it suddenly stopped when you got to the sponsor’s hospitality suit. Your brother was speechless as soon as he saw the car on display. You found it funny, recording all his reactions to share with your mom later. 

“Y/n, this is crazy. Look how big the tires are!” your brother said, kneeling in front of the car. 

You laughed and nodded. It still wasn’t your scene, but he made it exciting to be there. 

The sponsor’s hospitality suit was something else. Honestly, you weren’t expecting that level of comfort. You had access to free drinks and personalized merch, and they even told you one of the drivers would give you a tour of the circuit later. 

“Do you think we’ll see Lewis today?” Your brother asked 

You chuckled. You may have been a novice in F1, but Lewis Hamilton, that was a name you recognized. 

Not only because he was your little brother’s hero but because you had seen him from afar a few times at events over the years. 

“I don’t think so, but we’ll definitely see him drive.” 

And, of course, you were wrong. 

About an hour after you made that statement, a few gasps, including your brother’s, distracted you from your phone, and you looked up. 

They were pretty far from where you stood, but you could see them. Lewis and George were there, all smiles and already talking to people. 

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! Y/n, do you see what I see?!” your brother cried out. 

You couldn’t help but laugh again. Your brother, who was usually so reserved, was so excited you barely recognized him. 

“Well, let’s go meet them before you pass out,” you said, taking his hand. 

You made your way to the small group around the drivers, waiting patiently for a chance to interact. You could tell your brother was getting more nervous, his gentle and timid nature taking over. 

It was George who noticed and approached you first. He shook your hand and nicely introduced himself to both of you. Your brother tried to keep it cool, only betrayed by how he squeezed your hand. It was only when he asked for a picture with George that things took a turn. 

“What tires do you think you’ll use tomorrow? Please don’t go for the hard again; your car is already lacking pace,” your brother suddenly asked. 

George looked surprised by the question, and you couldn’t help but laugh. Yep, the geek was back with a vengeance. 

Maybe it was George’s face or your loud laugh, but something caught Lewis’ attention, and he stared in your direction before approaching. 

“Y/n?” Lewis said, now, close to your small group 

George raised an eyebrow. “You guys know each other?” 

Lewis did not break eye contact with you and nodded. “You can say that we’ve bumped into each other before.” 

You bit your lip. You wished he had forgotten that. It was the weirdest exchange you’d ever had. You did talk to Lewis once in New York. The event organizer had introduced you, and Lewis was a sweetheart. He was all smiles and shook your hand. He had introduced himself in such a humble way as if half the world did not know who he was. 

But when it was your turn to introduce yourself, things went wrong. You couldn’t pinpoint what destabilized you so much, his angelic face or how he looked at you, but you mumbled something you weren’t sure he understood and then said the most cringy thing ever. ‘I love your dog’

The awkward gene was either running in the family, or there was something about F1 drivers that brought out people's weirdness. 

“I didn’t think you’d remember that,” you finally said, blinking a few times. 

“Oh, I do remember,” Lewis said with a mischievous smile. 

Your brother squeezed your hand, reminding you that people were still around you. 

“Oh, and this is my little brother, y/b/n. He’s a huge fan of yours,” you said 

Lewis kneeled in front of your brother to be at his height. “Nice to meet you, y/b/n. I’m Lewis.”

Your brother frowned and looked at Lewis, then the hand that he was reaching out to him.

Watching your baby brother meet his idol was the funniest thing, and you took out your camera to record it. 

Your brother finally shook Lewis’s hand, telling him how much he loved him. 

“Aww,” you whispered, watching the interaction from your camera lens. 

Lewis looked up at you and smiled before focusing again on your brother. He spent a good ten minutes talking to you both, answering every question your brother had, and even laughing with you at the odd ones your brother shot his way. 

“Lewis, we have to go.” a man approached you and said 

Lewis finally stood up and looked at you with a huge smile. You could feel your cheeks getting warmer and tinkling. Lewis was hot, making it even more destabilizing because he wasn’t even trying. His natural charm and kindness were already enough, but his looks were just a bonus - A bonus you weren’t complaining about. 

“It was really nice chatting with you. And I can’t wait to compete against you in a few years, big guy.” Lewis said 

Your brother frowned. “I’m still karting; you will be gone by the time I’m in F1.” 

Lewis laughed, not at all offended by your brother taking things so literally. 

“I’ll try to wait for you.”   

He smiled one last time at you before saying goodbye. 

None of you said a word for a few minutes. Both of you sinking in what had just happened. 

“Lewis Hamilton is a cool guy,” your brother finally said 

“Yep, he is,” you said, chuckling. 

Your brother had explained what would happen today, but you did not pay attention to his explanation. But now, it suddenly felt more interesting than you thought it would be. 

The cars were fast—faster than on TV, and nothing compared to the many karting races you’ve watched your brother run. 

“And they do that for hours on Sunday?” you asked 

“Yep,” your brother said, a massive smile on his face. 

You could tell he was imagining himself in one of those fast cars one day. And you promised yourself to do whatever you could to help him achieve his dreams. 

Lewis did great during the practice sessions, at least according to your brother's detailed commentary when you asked him if he enjoyed his day.

You were about to leave the paddock with your brother when you heard someone shout your name. 

You turn around to find a man running after you. You frowned, trying to remember if you knew him but couldn’t remember ever meeting that person. 

Still, you stopped, waiting for him to reach you. 

“I’m so sorry for screaming like that. I’m Jamie, I’m on Lewis’s PR team.” 

“Oh, okay…” 

You weren’t sure what to say or why someone from Lewis’ team was looking for you. You patiently waited for the man to catch his breath and tell you what was happening. 

“Sorry… you two walk pretty fast, you know,” he said, chuckling 

He then handed you two yellow passes. You were even more confused. 

“These are VIP tickets for tomorrow and Sunday. Lewis wanted you to have it.”

The confusion was only growing now. Why did Lewis want you to have VIP tickets? Weren’t the paddock tickets already VIP ones? This day, this sport was only getting weirder by the second. 

Jamie must have spotted your confusion because he proceeded to explain what the tickets would allow you to do. Basically, they would allow you access to the garage, the cars, and the Mercedes team during the races. 

“Sick!” your brother said, excited. 

You thanked him and returned to your hotel, wondering why Lewis gave you the tickets. 

Once in your hotel room, you kept thinking about it. You decided not to read too much about it and to accept that it must be a kind gesture to your little brother. Lewis must have seen how passionate he was about F1 and what a gift it would be for someone like him to watch the races up close, next to the people who actually made it happen. 

It had to be why because you refused to believe it could be more. You refused to believe it could be about you. 

You decided to share some content on your social media to change your mind. After all, that was why you were offered the tickets in the first place. 

You went on Instagram, ready to share more about the day on your feed, but you couldn’t help but go on Lewis’s profile. You had a huge smile when you saw his latest post, a picture of him and Roscoe entering the paddock earlier today. 

You were about to leave his page when something odd caught your attention. It said follow back, not just follow. You went blank for a few seconds before realizing what was going on. 

He followed you. It couldn’t have happened a long time ago; it had to be today. So you scrolled through your notifications and found it. He did start following you today, and just like that, your mind started spiralling again. 

You followed him back but did not say anything. Again, you preferred to avoid any assumptions. 

Saturday Qualifications

It was very hot, just like the day before. But there were more people today, as the qualification sessions were more entertaining and significant. 

Your brother was super excited about seeing the actual racing cars and being able to touch them. He even knew some of the engineers’ names and couldn’t wait to meet them. 

When you arrived at the Mercedes motorhome, Jamie met you, the same guy who gave you the tickets the day before. He gave you a small tour of the place, and your brother took pictures of the most basic things. 

You passed George’s room, but he was busy, and you couldn’t say hi. But when you were in front of Lewis’s room, you found yourself hoping you could see him. Just to thank him for the tickets, you told yourself. 

“Look who we’ve got here. Hello guys,” Lewis said when he saw you 

He gave your brother a fist bump before turning to you. Suddenly, you didn’t know what to do, give him a fist bump too, or just wave or… 

You didn’t have time to overthink it as Lewis pulled you into a quick hug. It wasn’t that deep; it could even be classified as a half hug, but still, it was enough for your heart to miss a bit. 

You could feel his toned arm around you and how he smelled so good. Again, your cheeks were starting to betray you, so you looked down. 

“Thank you for the tickets, Lewis. Y/b/n is never going to forget this weekend.” 

“I’m happy he’s having fun. I hope you’re having fun, too.” 

“Oh, I am. Not gonna lie, I’m not the big fan here; he is,” you said, pointing at your brother, who was now talking with an engineer. “But it’s growing on me. I don’t know if it’s the special treatment or the actual driving, but I like it,” you said, laughing. 

Lewis was still looking at you; his smile didn’t move. It only became more mischievous. “We can test that theory right now.” 

Something told you the driver was up to no good. “I’m not sure I like this look, Lewis,” you said 

He laughed this time. His laugh was just contagious. 

A few minutes later, with a few waivers signed and a helmet on your head, you were inside a car with Lewis on the other side. 

“Did I mention that I don’t like speed? I did, right? I barely passed my driving license; I don’t even like cars,” you mumbled as he started the engine. 

The people outside were laughing; even your brother was laughing outside, recording it all. Everybody found it funny, but you didn’t. 

“Please don’t go too far,” you said, turning to face Lewis 

He had that smile again. The one that clearly stated that he was up to no good. “Now, where would be the fun in that?” 

You didn’t have time to argue as he started the car. The sound alone made you scream. He was fast. You could feel your heart beating; it felt like being in the front row of a roller coaster. 

“Oh my god! Lewis!” you screamed again as he took a corner at a speed you couldn’t comprehend. 

“So, do you like the sport more now?” he asked you, smiling 

“Hell no, this is madness,” you said, relieved as you could see the garage getting closer 

“Wrong answer,” Lewis said, accelerating again and missing the stop line. 

“Lewis!” you screamed, but he had found it amusing because he went even faster, something you didn’t think was possible at this stage. “Oh my god, I’m so going to die.” 

He laughed. “No, you’re not. I’m a seven-time champion, remember?”

“Eight. My brother told me eight.” You said, knowing exactly what you were doing. 

“I knew I liked you for a reason,” Lewis said, laughing 

In the end, you did three laps. The last one was the worst. You screamed so much Lewis couldn’t stop laughing. It was pure chaos. 

When you got out of the car, you immediately removed your helmet and turned around to Lewis. 

“You do that for a living? Are you okay?” you asked 

He laughed again. “This doesn’t even get close to the feeling you get in the actual racing car, you know.” 

You turned around to look at your brother, who was still recording. Suddenly, you were happy that he was too young to have the same experience. 

“And you want to do that later too? You want to drive like a crazy person for a living?” 

He just nodded as if it was the silliest question ever. 

You spent another hour with Lewis and the crew, talking about the car and watching them prepare for the qualifying session. 

Even when the atmosphere got more serious, Lewis was still pleasant, talking to you and making you feel included. He took the time to explain some basic things. Things that your little brother did not have the patience or time to explain to you. Y/b/n had found a spot close to the pit wall and was too mesmerized to pay attention to you. 

You watched as Lewis and George completed their laps. The team seemed pretty happy with the final results. While they did not get pole position, Lewis ended up P3 and George P5. That was good enough, considering how they started the season. 

Race Day

Your brother was awake before the sun even rose. He sang in the shower, repeating every five seconds that it was race day like you didn’t know. 

He would make you hate the sport at this pace instead of liking it. 

Y/b/n insisted that you both wear some Mercedes merch you were gifted the day before, and of course, no was not an answer he was willing to take. 

So you ended up in the garage, wearing a white Mercedes t-shirt with George’s 63 in the back. 

The atmosphere was different; it felt electric, and you liked it. You couldn’t experience backstage that way in any other sport.  And it didn’t hurt to have Tom Cruise next to you, making jokes and chatting as if you were old friends. 

“Now, that’s offensive.” 

You recognized Lewis’s voice before you even turned around. He was already in his race suit, sunglasses on. That man knew what he was doing for sure. 

It took you a few seconds to remember what he just said. You asked what he meant, and he removed his sunglasses, using them to point at your t-shirt. 

“After the thrills I gave you, you’re rocking George’s number on your back? I’m offended, y/n” 

You laughed and explained yourself. “There was no way I was wearing that purple sweater under this heat, Lewis. It was the only white t-shirt my brother was okay with me wearing.” 

“So you would have worn mine if it weren’t for the heat?” he asked, smirking. 

Again, you could feel your cheeks betraying you. But you didn’t back down. You stared right at him and nodded. “Yes, I’m more of a 44 girl.” 

“I like that,” Lewis said, smiling at you. 

As much as you wanted to ignore it, you couldn’t. It was there. You liked the smiles, those little stares, and the attention Lewis gave you. At this stage, it was pure attraction; you didn’t know him that well, but the little you had seen only made you more attracted to him. The way he was always laughing and how he treated your brother and his team. You wouldn’t say no to getting to know him better.

You watched the race, finding yourself rooting openly for him and celebrating with the team when he finished at the second place. 

You watched him celebrate with his loved ones; the champagne part was definitely your favourite. Nobody told you that you got to see hot, sweaty men - especially Lewis - pouring champagne and getting champagne poured at them. 

A sight for sore eyes indeed. 

Things got hectic after the race. Between the interviews Lewis had to do, the other people he had to meet, and the flight you had to catch as your brother had school the following day – you didn’t have time to say goodbye. 

It felt unfinished. You wished you had time to talk more, but you were still happy you and y/n/b got to experience that. 

You were already in your seat on the plane when you got the notification from Instagram. You couldn’t help but grin as you read it. 

[junker-town]

The 10 dumbest mistakes from an NFL Week 7 that teased us, ranked

Christopher Hanewinckel-USA TODAY Sports

Derek Carr fumbled out of the end zone, again. And oh no, the Chargers fumbled at the goal line. AGAIN.

On Sunday, the winless Dolphins were up on the Bills for 26:44, which was nearly 23 minutes longer than they had held a lead all season. With the Dolphins threatening to go ahead by two scores in the third quarter, Ryan Fitzpatrick threw a pick. The Bills scored on their ensuing 98-yard drive and never trailed again.

At almost the exact same time, the Bengals fumbled at midfield, and the Jaguars got the lead back thanks to their 12-play, 38-yard, 6:28 field goal drive (dear god). Unlike Miami, Cincinnati was able to regain the lead again, although it was temporary. Despite a 10-9 point edge at the start of the fourth quarter, the Bengals let another opportunity for their first win slip through their fingers after Andy Dalton threw three interceptions on three straight possessions.

Meanwhile, Washington had the best shot it was going to get at taking down the unbeaten 49ers. A torrential downpour all afternoon in the DMV area left FedEx Field a virtual Slip ‘N Slide, minus the friction burns. The game was 0-0 for a majority of its 2 hours, 36 minutes, until Adrian Peterson fumbled in San Francisco territory, leading to the 49ers’ second of three field goals. Washington totaled -7 yards the rest of the way.

To recap, the two teams that entered Week 7 without a win left it the same way. The only franchise that has fired its coach this season also stayed in the race for the No. 1 pick. All were close but came up empty, though maybe that was the plan all along.

Even if — or especially if? — teams are in full-on tank mode, there are plenty of mistakes for us to highlight. Here are our picks for the 10 dumbest in Week 7:

10. STAY IN BOUNDS, KYLER MURRAY

With 2:20 left in the game, the Cardinals were getting ready to add to their 24-21 lead over the Giants, who had just taken their last timeout. On third-and-10 from the New York 17, all Kyler Murray had to do was not turn the ball over. Well, that’s almost all he had to do.

Murray avoided a sack but had to take off running. He wasn’t going to get the first down anyway, so the least he could do was take some time off the clock and — oh no:

You can see the exact moment Kyler Murray realized he f***ed up pic.twitter.com/4K5xZQDCpB

— Paid man gets bored (@cjzero) October 20, 2019

Murray ran out of bounds at the 2:13 mark, stopping the clock — 13 seconds before the two-minute warning and giving the Giants extra time they wouldn’t have had otherwise.

It didn’t end up hurting the Cardinals. They made the field goal on the next play and won 27-21. But to quote Greg Olsen, who was in the broadcast booth during his bye week: “Oh my god, why would he do that?”

We’ll just chalk it up to a rookie mistake.

9. The Vikings didn’t realize Danny Amendola was playing

Danny Amendola isn’t an unknown. The veteran wide receiver has never made it to a Pro Bowl, but he’s been a starter throughout his 11-year career and played a big role for two of the Patriots’ Super Bowl-winning teams.

Which makes it pretty surprising that the Vikings forgot who he was late in the first quarter of a vital NFC North showdown.

the catch and run by amendola that put stafford over the 40k yard mark pic.twitter.com/E0RjqoxnKG

— spooky bird name (@MansurShaheen) October 20, 2019

Minnesota blanked the long-tenured wideout on first down, failing to get a single defender within 10 yards of him on what turned out to be a 36-yard gain. That set the pace for a nine-play, 75-yard drive that ended in a Marvin Jones touchdown catch and a temporary Detroit lead.

8. DK Metcalf forgot you have to hold the ball after you catch it

In Madden franchise mode, DK Metcalf can gain the ability called “Max Security.” It’s a trait that is generally given to big, physical receivers who make tough catches and if you put the ball anywhere near them, it’s usually safe.

Real-life Metcalf may be that receiver eventually, but he was decidedly NOT that receiver against the Ravens on Sunday.

Trailing by 10 points with just under four minutes to go, the Seahawks had the ball and went to Metcalf on the left sideline. It was a good throw, a good catch, and a good opportunity to put up some series YAC. About that ...

SCOOP AND SCORE, @marlon_humphrey ❗️❗️❗️ pic.twitter.com/UIQXQGUd3V

— Baltimore Ravens (@Ravens) October 20, 2019

That’s a catch, some football moves, and a good old-fashioned fumble from Metcalf. The touchdown counted, and the Seahawks’ comeback efforts were over.

7. Andy Dalton went on an interception spree

The Bengals had a chance to beat the Jaguars and get their first win of the season. They were leading in the fourth quarter, before the Jaguars jumped ahead with a touchdown. Cincinnati’s attempt to answer with a touchdown of its own ended with Andy Dalton throwing an interception.

He threw another on the next drive and another the drive after that. Altogether, it was three interceptions in five pass attempts for Dalton, all in a span of less than five minutes of game clock. The worst of the three was this throw on what was supposed to be a screen pass that instead turned into an easy pick-six for Jaguars defensive end Yannick Ngakoue.

pic.twitter.com/13mGSzqveo

— - (@tixmix99) October 20, 2019

That made the score 24-10, and the third interception set up a field goal to make it 27-10. Those mistakes ended any chance at a win and secured an 0-7 record for the Bengals.

6. Deshaun Watson was robbed of a touchdown by a whistle-happy ref

The Texans should’ve had the lead in the second quarter against the Colts. Deshaun Watson broke away from one sack and kept his balance, with Colts defensive end Justin Houston grabbing his ankle, to throw to DeAndre Hopkins for a touchdown. It was an incredible play by Watson, but it didn’t count because the referee blew the play dead.

Texans robbed of four points and a spectacular highlight by Tony Corrente. pic.twitter.com/sbPuFodRy1

— Rivers McCown (@riversmccown) October 20, 2019

Watson was ruled to be “in the grasp” of Houston, nullifying the pass to Hopkins. The play became a sack and the Texans were forced to settle for a chip shot field goal to cut the Colts’ lead to 7-6.

The Texans wound up losing the game by a touchdown, but things could’ve been much different if they were correctly awarded a few more points in the second quarter.

5. Daniel Jones should retire from fullback duties

New York’s rookie quarterback still has a lot to learn in the NFL. Jones’ propensity for turnovers will take time to fix, but one thing he could do better right away is never lead block again.

Jones played the role of fullback for Saquon Barkley on a long third down and it earned him a huge hit from Cardinals linebacker Haason Reddick.

Haasan Reddick blows up Daniel Jones trying to block #AZCardinals #redsea #AZvsNYG #NFLSunday #NFL pic.twitter.com/oBqsoe8xPC

— GlendaleCardinals (@YotesGlendale) October 20, 2019

Defensive players are always licking their chops at the chance to hit a quarterback, so Jones is only doing them a favor by giving them a freebie. Even worse, he didn’t help Barkley get any extra yardage.

Jones should learn from Tom Brady and get the hell out of the way instead of taking unnecessary shots.

4. Derek Carr dialed up his worst throwback

One of the NFL’s more controversial rules is the one that designates a fumble out of the end zone as an automatic touchdown for the defense. Derek Carr knows this all too well, because that rule cost him a shot at a comeback win over the Cowboys back in 2017.

Or maybe he doesn’t! Carr took an entirely-too-big risk late in the second quarter of the Raiders’ upset bid in Green Bay and completed deflated his team in the process.

DEREK CARR, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING? pic.twitter.com/p86kOMi1Yn

— Christian D'Andrea (@TrainIsland) October 20, 2019

That fumble out the end zone turned a scoring opportunity that could have put Oakland up 17-14 with halftime looming into an 80-yard touchdown drive for the Packers. The Raiders wouldn’t get any closer to victory Sunday than the yard between where Carr’s hand stopped and where his last-gasp effort accidentally pitched the ball out of bounds. Green Bay won comfortably, 42-24.

3. Dolphins DT Christian Wilkins took less than a minute to get ejected

Earlier in 2019, Miami first-round rookie defensive tackle Christian Wilkins said he had no idea he wasn’t allowed to suplex Chargers running back Austin Ekeler.

“I didn’t know you couldn’t really do that,” Wilkins told the Miami Herald. “I didn’t know there could be a flag or anything like that. But now I do know that.”

A few weeks later, he got ejected for something he probably already knew he couldn’t do: Punching an opponent.

Christian Wilkins penalized and ejected for throwing a punch on the second play of the game. This comes just two weeks after Wilkins was penalized for supplexing a ball carrier. Flores talked about how that wouldn’t happen again. pic.twitter.com/UGmuw8FR1P

— Travis Wingfield (@WingfieldNFL) October 20, 2019

It wasn’t exactly a haymaker, but it was the type of hit that probably would’ve resulted in a personal foul, even if other officials may not have seen it as ejection-worthy. The Dolphins already face an uphill climb trying to win with a talent-deficient roster. Wilkins isn’t helping by struggling to keep his frustration under control.

2. Devonta Freeman tried to fight, of all people, Aaron Donald

Aaron Donald is one of the last people anyone should try to fight. Falcons running back Devonta Freeman didn’t get the memo, because that’s exactly what he tried to do on Sunday during the third quarter against the Rams:

Here's the full incident with Donald and Freeman.pic.twitter.com/0dL9GnxODp

— Dov Kleiman (@NFL_DovKleiman) October 20, 2019

A couple things to keep in mind: Freeman is 5’8, 206 pounds, while Donald is 6’1, 280 pounds, and looks like this:

Happy #FlexFriday from @AaronDonald97! pic.twitter.com/6rNqjxuq5R

— Los Angeles Rams (@RamsNFL) September 27, 2019

This might be the moment when Freeman realized just how stupid picking a fight with Donald was:

Unsurprisingly, Freeman was ejected for this terrible decision, but man, we can’t think of a better analogy for how the Falcons season has been going.

1. The end of Chargers-Titans was a literal farce

Sunday’s showdown between the Chargers and Titans was a wild one, but the ending was nothing short of a comedy of errors. Trailing by three points with just over two minutes to go, the Chargers launched a drive that started from their own 49-yard line, due to the Titans coming up short on a fourth down (that they might’ve gotten but didn’t challenge).

Philip Rivers got the Chargers to the Tennessee 16-yard line, where things started to go poorly for both teams, but much more for Los Angeles.

First, Mike Vrabel called a timeout for seemingly no reason after the Chargers made it to the 1-yard line. The timeout came after a replay review with 39 second left, giving the Chargers ample time to plan for a strong finish.

They did not use that time wisely.

Absent their own timeouts, the Chargers first had a false start. Rivers threw incomplete, but the Titans were called for pass interference, giving the Chargers those yards back. Then Los Angeles dialed up a Melvin Gordon run, which was stuffed for no gain after a replay review overturned the initial touchdown call.

For some context, Gordon had already had a fumble at the goal line, as well as a play where he tried to jump over the pile from nearly 5 yards back. And Austin Ekeler was wrapping up what was an incredibly productive day:

Melvin Gordon - 18 touches for 29 total yards, 1 TD, and 2 (really 3) fumbles. Austin Ekeler - 12 touches 125 total yards, a TD and 0 Fumbles.

— Bolts From The Blue (@BFTB_Chargers) October 20, 2019

So what do the Chargers dial up with 19 seconds left and the game on the line? Another run from Gordon, who fumbled the ball AGAIN. He fumbled it just as contact was made, and the Titans recovered.

Keep in mind the Chargers easily could have tried a QB sneak, something that they bizarrely never do with Rivers, or gone with quick pass plays before kicking a field goal to tie the game. Instead they ran it twice, with a running back who had already made several mistakes and hasn’t looked good since returning to the team, with no timeouts and and very little time left.

It was a masterclass in bad decision-making by the Chargers, who have sadly been here so many times before:

In three separate games, the Chargers have fumbled in Goal-to-go situations, at the 1 yard line, all of which resulting in turnovers. Detroit. Denver. Tennessee. ...The Chargers lost all three games by one score.

— Rich Ohrnberger (@ohrnberger) October 20, 2019

It was also hilariously bad clock management and discipline by the Titans. What a farce.

[spotlightsaga]

Kevin Cage of @spotlightsaga reviews… Orange is the New Black (S05E05) Sing It, White Effie Airdate: June 9, 2017 @oitnb Ratings: @netflix Score: 8.75

**********SPOILERS BELOW**********

OITNB has a habit of having white folks tell black folks’ stories… Normally you can kind of sense it right away, but after watching ‘Sing It, White Effie’ I had to look up the primary writer. I’ve talked about this a few times but never on this grand of a stage. I know that this has been addressed by many in previous years including Essence Magazine (which, yes I do read). It’s true that we as human beings, of blood and guts and organs and bones, are for the most part the exact same, sans a few genetic defects that only affect a certain race… And it’s true that some of us in different parts of the world have very different experiences due to environment. For instance, for over a decade in Miami, my only friends have been ones of color… Literally 98% Latin & Black… Despite how other parts of my family live, I live very differently. Growing up a 'sexually fluid’ ginger with a mother who was a very young teenager in high school gave me a vastly different experience than most. I’ve always celebrated my fucking weirdness. In high school I was literally a walking oxymoron, wearing 90 inch GAT pants I stole from the mall or borrowed from my friend, GlowGirl (yeah in the late 90s we all had Rave Names, didn’t you know?), paired with an oversized button up I found in my step-dads closet and a vest from Structure and Brooks Brothers eyeglasses that my Grandmother bought me on a visit… Not to mention spiked up Backstreet Boy haircut (that may or may not have been blue), tousled in the front, and fucking candy and jelly bracelets from the base of my thumbs up past my elbows. What the fuck, right? You’d think I’d look back and hate it, but all I see is a RAD fn’ Rave Star with 'anti-anti’ 90’s culture embodiment… Serving up Rave-Tastic Soccer Playing Prep Freak “on a Lemonade budget”…. Thank you, Shea Coulee!

Diversity has always been a part of my life in one way or another. I love to trade perspectives. I ask questions and offer up personal experiences instead of telling people their way of thinking is wrong, because I want people to understand me and I want to understand them. I truly believe that if we all at least tried to understand each other instead of this 'This opinion is right. This opinion is wrong,’ divisive mindset so many have seem to have adopted as of late the world would be a much better place. That being said, I just wrote a few articles on the 3rd Season of '60 Days In’ and stated there were certain topics I couldn’t completely speak on, even being a diverse ginger gringo faggot or whatever anyone wants to throw my way. On the internet today I was told I have a PHD in Cock Sucking (and other things that literally just look like letters on a page to me) and on the bus just last Monday, I let Snapchat take a quick, disappearing peak at a woman attacking my partner and I on the bus with an umbrella who called us 'stretched out asshole faggot cock sucking mother fuckers that will fry in hell’, I couldn’t make this shit up even if I tried. She had gotten a glimpse at my partner helping me on the bus because I have some issues moving around on Monday’s due to some disc issues in the upper parts of my back and went in for the kill when my partner asked if she could please turn the music down that she was blasting from her phone like she wasn’t aware that one can totally sonically invade someone’s space. None of these experiences give me the proper perspective needed to make a complete series featuring an episode that looks through the lens of a woman of color’s standpoint on Culture Appropriation on an all white 'DreamGirls’ production at the 'White School of Rich Bitch Privilege’.

Don’t get me wrong, this is probably the best take on racial issues I’ve ever seen on OITNB. I was moved, accomplished NYC playwright and television writer & editor Molly Smith Metzler, whose worked on two of my favorite Streaming Only series (OITNB & Hulu’s 'Casual’) is a raw talent that streaming networks would be lucky to have work on their exclusive series… But it all still felt like it was missing something. Some might tell you that the 'diversity’ plays itself out in front of the camera, but I assure you as a writer that it takes a village. When it comes to television particularly, everything is filtered through a lens after a lens after another lens…. As the showrunner draws out a storyboard with producers and then oversees the writing of a script which is handed to an editor and then off to a director which directs the actors who have their own interpretation of that character who are then filmed and framed by a cinematographer who hands over the multiple takes to an editor, who then slices and dices and puts together the final product that the network may possibly need to approve and by now I’m out of fucking breath. And I didn’t even mention the composers, casting directors, production designers, art directors, set decorators, costumes, makeup, the fn’ art department, sound department who collaborates with special effects people, not to be confused with the visual effects crew and the dozens and dozens of others who’s lens it funnels through to make a finished product. Did I make a point yet?

'Sing It, White Effie’ is by far the best of #OITNB5 but just like the tears that filled my eyes during the final moments when a young Janae has an epiphany when she realizes what her trip to a private school that has a trio of rich white girls playing the main characters of 'DreamGirls’ truly represents…. Just like Taystee’s beautiful, enthralling speech that I’m sure we all applauded and were worked up over emotionally… It just could have been better. No matter what you know, no matter what you’ve seen, no matter how intense your empathy radar is, no matter how many shoes you have traded with other people… We can write out someone else’s story, we can do our research, we can firmly believe the things we say, we can identify pieces of a puzzle of someone else’s story through idiosyncratic experiences, but we’ll never be able to put the entire puzzle together without the missing piece.

I don’t want it to seem like I’m complaining, I’m only imagining that a fantastic show could be even bolder, even more intense, even more 'on the nose’ with it’s ironic comedy style, that’s sometimes dark so that it fades into the drama with more ease. I love OITNB, I do. I would go as far as to say that this is the most bingeable show ever created. The hardest thing I’ve had to do in the past few months (thank god) is to decide to go to sleep instead of watching and writing about another episode of this very show. Slowly but surely, the inmates of Litchfield are shown to notice little things that are waking them to the impending consequences that are sure to devastate these women in a major way.

Right now it’s the little things, like Suzanne (Uzo Aduba), the usual most 'out of touch’ resident of Litchfield, observing the fact that she’s not being fed during regular hours. Gloria (Selenis Leyva) has come to a point where she is completely overwhelmed, she can’t carry on her normal duties anymore. Her genuine concern for Daya (Dascha Polanco) as well as her inner turmoil she’s experiencing for generally losing control paired with the backfiring of attempting to steal the gun from Daya to impede the takeover is a weight she can no longer carry. Her phone call to Diaz (Elizabeth Rodriguez) was another truly successful, relatable, and dramatic moment that puts the audience inside Litchfield for an oh-so important instant. I think we can all relate to a point in time where we are completely at a loss for what to do in a situation, maybe we want to ask for help, but we don’t know how, or even where to start, or even if we could be helped at all… So you just need a familiar voice on the other end of the line. The family dynamic is so strong with this one, and as a person who lives in a Latin Dominated city, there’s a certain way that pride is carried here that I see in these characters. These actresses are truly amazing to bring their distinct perspective into a script that is not their own, essentially that is what makes this show so special in these dramatic points of reference. It is bigger than the writers, who are great, but just not as diverse as we would like.

If it’s one thing that a talented white woman would write with a pristine birds eye view, it’s satire of a what it would be like to be a rich white woman turned into a slave by white supremacists… Oh yeah, and one white nationalist. Judy King (Blair Brown) looks completely insane with her messy hair, ketchup stained face, and belt leash around her neck. I literally can’t stop laughing as I write this. The image will be forever stored in the memory banks of my brain. Taystee is PISSED. The Helicopter Press snapping a photo of Judy King tied to a cross on top of a roof by skinheads wearing hijab’s has interfered with Taystee’s intentions, which means everyone’s intentions, but most importantly… Justice for Poussey. She means to buy Judy off of the skinheads and grab 'The PR Guy’ Josh (John Palladino) to issue a statement, but the skinheads make Taystee & Friends work for it, holding a ridiculous auction, which doesn’t really work… But for the sake of moving the core narrative onward in what is as close to real-time as possible, I suppose it’s fine…. I’m just not sure where everyone else came from considering in one scene they were alone and the next minute the area is full of potential bidders. Just goes to show you even some of the best shows are fat from perfect.

Pensatucky (Taryn Manning) has yet another memorable moment, again the drama is really what is setting this season ablaze. Big Boo (Lea DeLaria) catches Pensatucky & Coates (James McMenamin) making out. Of course, this not only enrages Boo for obvious reasons, but it also has her worried for Pensatucky’s safety. A lot of people seem incredibly uncomfortable with this subplot, but Manning delivers the true Pensatucky 'thought process’ in a 'methamphetamine metaphor’ that’s just divine. 'No matter how much I wanted different, I had to respect the chemicals… Because Lye doesn’t feel anything until it touches ephedrine’, Pensatucky means this… And even if you don’t understand the white trash chemistry behind the metaphor, she delivers it in the most earnest & steady manner. There’s a beauty to it. She continues… 'Have you ever wanted somebody that you shouldn’t?’ Boo doesn’t have it, 'Of course. It’s called masturbating. Now say goodbye and walk the fuck away, son.’ Pensatucky is a character that we’ve already explored so much throughout the past 4 ½ seasons, but there are so many notes to this character and to Manning’s delivery that they could literally go on forever. This is the very opposite of Piper (Taylor Schilling) who literally seems like a new person, someone completely alien to the Piper who kicked off the show in S1. Even her interactions with Alex (Laura Prepon) feel off key. Maybe prison is changing her? Or maybe they have no idea what to do with the character. They certainly know what they want to do with Alex, as she has started a bit of an 'outdoor prison’ revolution… Grass Roots, if you will!

We should mention that Coates escapes by way of Pensatucky stealing the gun from 'The Incompetent Queens of White Trash’, Angie (Julie Lake) and Leanne (Emma Myles), who don’t even realize that their 'secret hiding place’ they stored the gun while on a massive DXM trip is actually the back of the belt that Angie had no idea she was wearing. Coates actually takes the gun with him… All of these events have me worried for Pensatucky and there is really only so much that Boo can do. Right before his grand escape, Taystee and company lead Judy out for a press conference. Taystee begins and Danielle Brooks delivers her words like a Viola Davis or Meryl Streep in the making. She hands it over to Judy but pulls back when she realizes that Judy lying about her ill treatment will only hurt their cause… And to roll back to my original point, which I rolled off on a bit of a passionate tangent… Taystee literally says the words that I positioned that first point around… Judy King cannot speak for Taystee or any of the inmates, for that matter. This isn’t exactly a Pensatucky 'Methamphetamine Metaphor’ but dammit… In the face of previous controversy the show, particularly the writers room, has been accused of, you’d think that they’d hire equally as talented women of color to write this speech, portions of these episode, entire episodes. Once again, I take nothing away from the talented Molly Smith Metzler, she did an excellent job here… I just think that this scene, as well as others, could pack so much more power and benefit from the proper frame of reference.