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#oh yes they're both bisexual no doubt about that
youthofpandas · 27 days
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so what's crabfic and how'd it get the name?😺
omg hi yes crabfic my beloved... it is my character study type fic about sinclair and their gender issues in the months leading up to that christmas and how they intertwine with the fears of the prosthetics surgery and growing up <3 centering around the relationships they have with their sister and of course demian and kromer
it is slow going but i think it's about half done - kinda unsure how to end it bc well. part of it is is the simple fact the gender issues go unresolved for much longer. but it's been really fun to be so self indulgent with it, it's truly my ideal little world of headcanons and themes I want to see explored. really love how well demian's "i want to see your full potential be realized" thing works in the context of giving increasingly weird, metaphorical advice about this and kromer being a source of both envy and doubt in sinclair as they have very mixed feelings on wanting to be more like her while she also wants sinclair to be, well, her sinclair and so she causes a lot of their self hatred <3 yayyy~ limbus making kromer a girl was so great bc i think sinclair being drawn to the world of darkness And getting weird gender envy from her is just so good... and then they also made her an insufferable fascist so she's also transphobic To Me and it all feels so in line with sinclair's character to get roped into All That Nonsense on their journey of self discovery
the crab thing comes from the fact i believe all my fics need some weird thing for demian to go wikipedia boyfriend mode about and in this one it is hermit crabs. using them as a metaphor for moving forward in life and how picking how you want to move forward doesn't have to be a permanent choice that has the ability to ruin everything - instead the crabs can pick from their shells and if they're not comfortable they can find another one with no harm done and the only thing that will hurt them is refusing to acknowledge that they are outgrowing their past. demian is doing his best to urge sinclair forward but both of them are doing a weird little dance around each other where sinclair still doesn't want to talk about their fears of the surgery and demian doesn't want to reveal he Knows everything more or less. really funny convo happens at some point where Demian is like ^^ oh don't let your fear of your family's reaction stop you, after all they could just all die one day and then what would you do? and Sinclair is like ._. uhm. I don't want to think about that. actually.
sighs wistfully... i love you demisin... world's funniest couple ever, weirdest little nonbinary bisexuals in the world. I've had to cut out many bits that get too romantic bc I'm trying to keep it away from being too shipfic-y i want it to stay more sinclair focused but like of course demian is like "i have a non normative experience with gender myself, (5 minute ramble about gender and crabs)" and sinclair is like (so in love it physically hurts) "would you love me if i was a worm hermit crab?"
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slashingdisneypasta · 9 months
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I keep thinking back to your Mr. Snake and Wheezy bromance idea, and now I must share with you the other pairings I've thought of to go with that AU XD
Ms. Tarantula and Stupid (Tarantula gets red because Snake claimed orange XD). Stu needs a cool big sister who can probably help him learn a few things! (She did say she mostly learned all her skills on YouTube. Maybe she can recommend Stupid some channels she thinks can help him out?) And I'm certain Tarantula would appreciate another big shoulder buddy when Shark isn't around ^^
As mentioned before, Mr. Piranha and Psycho. They both are the crazy members of their team. They both can appreciate a good brawl; maybe they even spar each other? (If so, I bet they'd both treat it as a free for all. They know the other can handle it XD) Also, Psycho totally nabs Piranhas cool things, but since Piranha comes from a huuuuge family, he just treats it like one of his little siblings 'borrowed' something of his. Psycho could use a sibling anyway.
Though I bet Mr. Piranha and Greasy would work well together too. They both bond over being the only Spanish speakers in their group (maybe even having the same POB? I can't remember where Piranha is from). Talking with the other makes them feel right at home ^^
I also like to think about Greasy and Mr. Shark interacting too XD like, idk maybe Shark offers to help Greasy learn how to talk to women. Greasy agrees happily, thinking that Shark is going to introduce him to a lovely lady. But no, it's just Shark in drag, taking him out on a 'test date'. At least Shark can make a convincing woman XD (Imagine if Shark became another messy bisexual awakening for Greasy. Ok I'll see myself out-)
And of course, the leaders themselves, Mr. Wolf and Smartass. Mr. Wolf isn't as insane as Smarty's team, and he's honestly relaxing to be around. So maybe Smartass wouldn't mind hanging out with him? Like these two meet up for coffee on Tuesdays to talk about... Anything, really. How their weeks went. How life is going on the 'other side' (Even though they're trying to be good, I'm sure that the Bad Guys miss something about their original lives. And I can see the weasels being curious about what 'good guy' lives are like for these former criminals now), etc. Smarty claims that this is just to make sure that Wolf and his crew don't report them to the police, but the gang sees right through that XD (these two better be ready to get called out by Snake and Wheezy XD)
One more thing before I leave. Imagine the Toon Patrol try their hand at turning a new leaf like the Bad Guys! It'd no doubt take a looooong time and alotta effort considering their crimes are a bit worse than the Bad Guys', but still. Maybe Wolf will have enough patience to help them XD though, if this wasn't a crossover and just an AU, who do you think from the WFRR universe could best help the weasels make a turn around?
!!! I love these so much!!
Aw, Webbs bein Stupid's cool big sister-type is unbelievably sweet! Imagine her meeting his BAMF S/O ^^ She's about to meet her, and she's thinking 'puh. this wont be good. i'm not gonna like her' and then 20 minutes later she and Bamf S/O's are best friends XD
Oh shit, Piranha and Psycho are actually so pure <3
MR PIRANHA AND GREASY SPEAKING SPANISH TOGETHER IS MY FAVOURITE. YES. LET THEM. L E T T H E M.
Omggggggg imagine Greasy's reaction 😂🤣 I cant, I cant, that's way too funny XDD It'd definitely be a spit take sorta situation. Mr Shark knew- he knew, that Greasy was not fit for any real strangers yet XDD Weasel is not house trained-
And YES XD Mr Shark will be so flattered... but also creeped out. Don't look at him like that Greasy, you're gonna get punched.
Smartass, Wolf- don't hide. Your friends will support your bromance, I promise XDD ... after they make fun of you a lil.
Omg!! I love this idea!! Toon Patrol trynna redeem themselves... oof. Okay, so I imagine Psycho and Greasy would have the hardest time- Smartass too, but if he's doing it then it was his idea, so he'll draw strength from within 😅 If Psycho and Greasy are doing it though, its probably cuz Smartass is making them- so their hearts aren't in it. Stupid glides by, he just needs to be reminded a lot XD Wheezy thinks he's gonna do fine... until Smartass or Wolf take away his smokes like 'We are turnin over a new leaf!! That means we aint doin this anymore! Yer a bad influence, what if I kid sees ya??'/'Nope. I'll take these. You know who hangs out in the alleys where you smoke?? Bad guys! C'mon, bud.'... then he's ready to throw his head through a wall.
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Rest Your Weary Hands Part 12
Part 11
Series Masterlist
Contains: SMUT (fingering) minors DNI, fluff, Ivar being sweet, mentions of bisexuality, mild Dom Ivar, consent is super sexy.
1,994 Words
Comment if you want to be tagged.
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Once Ubbe had left a stillness came over the room, you looked into Ivar swirling blue eyes and it felt like you were being pulled into the undertow of a raging storm.
He reached up and brushed a curl behind your ear, then leaned in and rubbed his nose with yours.
"You're mine now, and I'm never letting you go" You smiled at him.
"And you are mine, until the Gods call us to Valhalla." You closed the final gap and pressed your lips to his, the hand that was laid on your face moved to your hair and the other one wrapped around the back of your neck.
You reached up with both hands and held his head, his hair was soft and you could feel the ridges of his braids. It was the most wonderful feeling, like no matter how long you kissed, you wouldn't run out of air as long as he stayed attached to you.
He deepened the kiss moving the hand on your neck down to unlace your dress. He was shifting on top of you now and you were leaning back, ready for him to lay on top of you, the door opened just as your dress did.
"Ivar, y/n Mother wants us.........oh shit, sorry." You pulled away from him and he moved so he was resting on his side.
"We'll be out soon Hvitserk." Ivar wanted to sound angry but it still came out as breathless. He reached up one last time to stroke your cheek.
"I'm sorry beautiful, I promise I won't leave you unsatisfied. You had no doubt in your mind that he was telling the truth.
You and Ivar had decided to spend the rest of the day wandering around the market. Ivar's raven had joined you on your way to the blacksmith shop, it was bizarre how the bird was always around when things were happening. As you walked around the corner away from the shop, the bird flew off your shoulder to peck Ivar on the head before landing on the steps of the blacksmith's door.
"I think we're being told to go inside." Ivar rolled his eyes but followed you regardless.
The blacksmith was happy to see you, he ran over and directed you to sit down at the table.
"I was wondering when you two would be in." You tilted your head at him, "To collect the rings Floki commissioned, he told me you were to be engaged soon." The blacksmith went to a cupboard and pulled out a little linen package. He placed it in front of Ivar, which he then opened, it was three rings, two your size and one his size.
"Oh Ivar, they're beautiful." He picked up the one that was clearly meant to be your engagement ring and rang his fingers over it, it was very similar to the one he got you before he left but this one looked like ribbons intertwined with each other. Ivar picked it up and put your left hand in his, running his fingers over yours, he looked up at you with adoring eyes while hovering the ring over your finger.
"Will you do me the honour of being my wife?" You felt your eyes get wet, "Yes Ivar, without a single doubt, yes." He gently placed the ring on your finger and pulled you down into a kiss, his hand was just about to slide into your top when the blacksmith cleared his throat.
"Maybe you should go and see Floki, I'm sure he'll be happy to hear the good news." You giggled and pulled Ivar up with you and then left to head to the docks.
Ivar's raven had already arrived and was perched on Floki's shoulder when you got there. "Ragnar was just telling me the good news, congratulations." Ivar looked at him like he was crazy.
"Who is this Ragnar you've been talking to, are you seeing ghosts old man?" Floki shook his head but didn't answer.
"Thank you Floki, for everything. You have no idea how much we appreciate all the trouble you went to." He walked over to Ivar and slapped and hand on his shoulder.
"Don't thank me, the Gods are the ones that told me to have them made."
************************************************************************
You made your way back to the hall just in time for dinner, only to be greeted by Aslaug standing at the doors. "Did you get Floki's gift yet?"
You stuck your hand out and showed her the ring, "The gods talk to him a lot, don't they?" She nodded and invented you inside.
You and Ivar spent the next twenty minutes fielding questions and showing off, Ubbe stood there with a huge smile on his face the whole time.
"You must name your firstborn son after me, after everything I put up with because of you two, I deserve it." Ivar laughed and pulled his older brother into a hug.
"Well then, we should start tonight." You keeled over in a giggle fit, "Ivar! There's no need to rush, we have plenty of time." He laughed along with you, sitting down next to you so your legs touched, "yes we do."
The dinner was nice, just your friends and family. Just as it was winding down you decided to get up and get ready for bed.
"Ivar, my love. I'm quite tried after the last few days, I think I'm going to head to bed." He pressed a quick kiss to your lips and you got up and left to retire to your room.
The bath was already poured, hot and waiting for you to come in. You stripped off and sank into the tub, the herbaceous water lapping around your skin.
You were about to fall asleep when Ivar walked in, you instinctually went to cover yourself but he stopped you. "There's no need to hide from me beautiful."
You dropped your arms and he looked over your seat form, "Shall I join you?" You nodded and he got undressed and climbed in.
"I've spoken to Mother about the construction on the Hall, we're going to keep our two rooms, break down the hallway and put the door facing the dining room, we'll still be in the same position, in fact we'll be more protected." He was running and hand up and down your thigh now and you dropped your head back against the edge of the tub.
"That's a good idea, we should see if they can include some internal paths so our children can move through the rooms without having to go out into the wider hall." Ivar gave a noise of agreeance but his hand was drifting closer to your centre and you were losing the ability to speak.
"Mmmm that feels nice." his fingers were pressing a little harder now, the warm water was adding to the feeling of warmth that was spreading through your body.
"Have you ever laid with anyone before?" You could understand why he was asking but it still woke you up a bit, it was still hard for you to think while Ivar ran his thumb over your mound.
"Yes...... more women than men. I'm not some pure Christian." Ivar huffed and moved his thumb to run your clit, your legs opened to welcome the touch.
"Does that feel good my love?" You nodded but couldn't manage to actually speak. "I need a verbal answer y/n." You opened your eyes and tried to glare at him.
"Yes Ivar, it feels good." he rewarded you by slowly sliding just one of his fingers inside you while the other hand moved over your body to rub your neck, "good girl."
You tried to suffocate a moan but it was impossible, just the tone of his voice was torture. "Please Ivar."
He chuckled, "Please what?" he pressed the finger inside you onto the spongy spot that made you see stars, "is that what you wanted?" You went to nod again but stopped yourself, so you could say it out loud, "Yes Ivar." He rewarded you by adding another finger.
"I'm getting a little cold, can we move to the bed please?" He was pulled his fingers out of you and pulled himself up. "Of course, you wait here and I'll get the bed ready."
He did it in record time and came over to help you out of the bath, as you stood up his eyes raked over you again.
"I've have been blessed by the Gods to have you in my bed, I will spend the rest of my life making sure you know that." He pulled you into a kiss and wrapped you in a towel. He spent the next few minutes drying you off before lying you on the bed.
"Are you comfortable dear?" You rolled over onto your side and reached out to him, "Oh yes, most definitely." He laughed and laid down next to you, pulling you into his arms.
His hand made its way back down your body and he lifted your top leg over his so he could have access to you, "do you want me to keep going?" He was searching your eyes for the slightest hint of hesitation. When he found none, his index finger ran over your slit and then went inside you while his thumb rubbed your clit.
"Does that feel good?" You moaned out a yes and Ivar smirked with such arrogance, it was clear by his unhurried pace he was going to make you beg.
"Please Ivar, I need more." He added a second finger and pressed them into you in that incredible come hither motion. He watched your mouth fall open with rapt desire and his other hand went to stroke your face. He could feel you squeezing him now so he sped up, moving you slightly to limit the amount you could move.
"Oh Gods, Ivar." It came out breathless and desperate.
'It's ok my love, let go, I'm here." You could not hold off the rising tide and crash over the peak. You could vaguely hear your own moaning in your ears but the rest of your felt too good to question it. You could still feel his fingers inside you, they were moving much slower and softer now. Once you stopped twitching he pulled them out and you felt a bone deep tiredness come over you, Ivar seemed to pick up on it as well.
He was pulling the covers over you and you wrapping his arms.
"What about ....." He stopped you with a kiss.
"Tomorrow my sweet y/n, sleep for now. I will be here with you all night."
Snippet 1 - Fierce Protector Part 13
Tag list@ladynightshade30 @katshuya @istorkyou @smears-and-spots @youbloodymadgenius @draculasbride-blog @profoundtyrantharmony @vikingsfranatic @hellie98 @localtrashopossum @polly-jayne @serenitybloodmoon @southernbe @rebyl-dollface @hamburgerslippers @kaybee87 @wintersire @dizzbishh @bubblybrianna @simonsbluee @sukijxhn @shit-i-say-shit-i-think @malevolentmagnificence @rivernell
I'm still not all that good at writing smut, feedback good or bad is much appreciated.
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ynderebot · 3 years
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OFFICIAL POST
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ファイル...FILES.
choi yeonjun. nancy mcdonie. lee gahyeon. kim sunwoo. kim doyeon. choi san. kim sihyeon. yang jeongin.
執着型 [ shuuchaku-gata ] obsessive.
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"where were you? who were you with? what were you doing? why didn't you answer my messages? oh come on darling, don't be like that...I've been waiting for hours!"
[ PROFILE 1. ]
choi yeonjun.
5'11. 21 yrs old. September 13th, 1999. virgo. blood type a. born in seoul, south korea
at age 14 yeonjun was sent to a boarding school in japan, this is where he discovered his...tendencies. halfway through his first year he met a girl, kang iseul. he was instantly infatuated with her, he had an impulsive urge to know every little thing about her. to do so he befriended her, using his appearance and charms to win her over and eventually made her his. the euphoric rush that ran through his body when she was officially his was like nothing he'd ever felt before. she was finally his and he didn't intend on letting go, not without a fight at least. he was in for a shock when one day she tried to run away after his true colors started to show. unfortunately her best friend was killed by yeonjun for trying to help her, but she did escape.
he's a switch with no lean. a hard/soft dom or obedient sub all just depends on his mood and how he's feeling
[ PROFILE 2. ]
nancy mcdonie.
5'4. 21 yrs old. april 13th, 2000. aries. blood type o. born in daegu, south korea.
nancy was always a little obsessed with things, she'd go through phases too. she would find one new hobby/thing that intrigued her and hyper fixate on it for a few months. then, just like that it would be forgotten as if it had never happened. it started from a young age too, so when she would tell all her friends and family about the boy she met it came as no surprise to them. soon enough he was all she talked about, all she cared about, it was true obsession. everyone around her thought that it was just a phase like everything else, but they were sadly mistaken. the day he broke up with her, she lashed out. screaming that he couldn't break up with her, no she wouldn't let him break up with her. even after that day she would never stop talking about him, she tried to stay involved with his life as much as she could and even ended up scaring away any potential lovers. she never stopped either, until she had no choice when he moved away.
she's a sub, usually obedient but can be bratty if she's in a mood.
ストーカー型 [ sutookaa-gata ] stalker.
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"how did I know? I'm always with you, following you...watching you...it's only because I love you"
[ PROFILE 3. ]
lee gahyeon.
5'3. 22 yrs old. february 3rd, 1999. aquarius. blood type ab. born in seongnam, south korea.
she was so excited when her crush asked her out, she couldn't contain herself. the problem was, it's difficult to get to know someone when you already know everything about them. she'd been stalking him ever since he caught her eye, every single day. she'd follow him to and from school, to his friends house, wherever he went she usually wasn't far behind. he could never find out about that side of her though, so she played along. laughing at childhood stories she heard him tell previously, pretending to be shocked when learning things she already knew. even after they began dating she continued to stalk him, he noticed things were off. she was the one he confided his "paranoia" in and she was the one who reassured him, but little did he know she was the cause of it all.
she's a sub, also obedient but can be bratty if she feels like it.
[ PROFILE 4. ]
kim sunwoo.
5'10. 21 yrs old. april 12th, 2000. aries. blood type b. born in seongnam gyeonggi, south korea.
unlike gahyeon, sunwoo was not always a stalker. he'd heard of stalkers but it never peaked his interest, he didn't even take any note of his slightly possessive tendencies. until his first relationship that is, his first partner showed signs of cheating. he might not have realized his own possessiveness and how it was seemingly growing stronger, but he was no fool. all the coming home late, the scent of another person that was not their own flooding the house when they entered. so he began following them around, at first it was...innocent, or as innocent as stalking could be. they were cheating, this made his possessiveness shoot through the roof. he was most aggressive and warned his partner that they do not want to do that again. they listened, and he continued to stalk them, it turned into a fun...game of sorts.
he's a switch with a sub lean, soft dom/occasionally bratty sub.
独占型 [ dokusen-gata ] monopoly.
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"who were you talking to? do they know me? no no, do they know you're mine?"
[ PROFILE 5. ]
kim doyeon.
5'8. 21 yrs old. december 4th, 1999. saggitarius. blood type o. born in wonju-gangwon, south korea
doyeon had always been just about as normal as you could get. until she got a boyfriend, she was possessive of him sure...but it was nothing too extreme. until she started having doubts, all the gorgeous girls that would go up to him, flirting and doing who knows what when she wasn't around. she made it her mission to let everyone know he was hers and she was his, wether it meant glueing herself to him or just reminding everyone at school on the daily. ever since he broke up with her, her tendencies only grow stronger and more extreme with each passing minute.
she's a sub, brat tendencies but will be obedient sometimes
[ PROFILE 6. ]
choi san.
5'9. 21 yrs old. july 10th, 1999. cancer. blood type b. born in namhae-south gyeonsan, south korea.
san's first love was a girl in his sister's class, was she a year older than him? yes, but he didn't care. despite all the people telling him he would never date her, he proved them wrong and he did. everything was perfect, they were both madly in love with each other, spending every minute of every waking day together. until something happened that san hadn't expected, his sister began to steal his girlfriend. well "steal" in his definition at least, she'd wanted to talk with his girlfriend every once in a while before he knew it they were always together and it seemed as if he was the real third wheel, this pissed him off more than anything. he got fed up one day and got into a physical fight with his sister, shouting about how the girl belonged to him and only him. from then on out he's made sure to stay in the middle of every single relationship.
he's a switch with no lean hard/soft dom or obedient/bratty sub, it all depends
排除型 [ haijo-gata ] removal.
"you haven't seen them in a while? I'm sure they're alright darling, after all I'm the only one you need. isn't that right?"
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[ PROFILE 7. ]
kim sihyeon.
5'6. 21 yrs old. august 5th, 1999. leo. blood type b. born in bundang-gu, seongnam-si, south korea.
she's a sub, usually bratty but can be obedient too
[ PROFILE 8. ]
yang jeongin.
5'8. 20 yrs old. february 8th, 2001. aquarius. blood type a. born in busan, south korea.
he's a switch with a slight sub lean but can be a soft dom
sihyeon and jeongin's stories go together, they were childhood friends and neighbors. eventually they realized that they had feelings for each other, but this soon after developed into a toxic mindset. the thought that they only need each other, no one else. one by one people from the other's life began to disappear, especially anyone who could be a romantic rival. they were both oblivious to the other's actions until each confronted the other, instead of being upset they were each ecstatic. ecstatic that the other felt the same, that they were the only person they needed in their life
notes/rules
this isn't an accurate representation of any of the members/their companies/groups nor am I claiming to be them!
all of the members are bisexual with no lean
all of the members are yanderes [ obviously ] so they will act as such, however some can be more possessive than others at times
the ones who can be the most possessive are sihyeon and jeongin and the least are yeonjun and nancy
sihyeon and jeongin are obviously not still dating, it was just for backstory/plot purposes
nsfw is an option, if you would like it included please state so when you activate the bot
however please don't make everything nsfw, it gets boring when the plot dwindles
nsfw is 18+ but purely sfw option is available if you aren't comfortable with it or if you're below 18
all the members have hard kinks and their hard no's are scat/feet, if you still aren't sure just ask admin before doing anything
they all use the traffic light system
and please don't try to put them in a different headspace!
to talk with admin use any variation of [ ], { }, ( ), etc
admin is 18 and might get busy occasionally but will try her best during those times
this bot is open for oc's/yn's/ and other bots as well
to activate the bot dm and then admin will ask a few questions/come up with a plot with you and after that the role-play can start up
if you ever wish to deactivate the bot just say so to admin, ex. [ I would like to deactivate the bot now ] and your chat will be deleted
if you decide to reactivate it you'll have to go through the same activation process you did the first time and start over
please respect the members and admin and they will do the same
good luck...好運
sorry this post is so long- ��
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pla-teau · 3 years
Text
LOKI EPISODE FOUR : THE NEXUS EVENT
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GIF CREDIT TO: @luke-skywalker SPOILERS AHEAD. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!
SYLVIE | there's a lot to process in the short time we get of young sylvie. it didn't seem like she was doing anything that caused a nexus event. when we see her, she's simply playing with her toys on asgard. sylvie asks about what her crime was later on with renslayer but it's never clear cut as to what she did. the only thing we know is that she escaped from renslayer which is why she's so hell bent on capturing and pruning sylvie. i have a certain thought on this later.
WE SURVIVE | the words loki tells sylvie just when she’s given up and accepted that she’ll die on lamentis. that’s what makes loki a loki - yes, he fails over and over again but each and every time we’ve witnessed his ‘death’ he comes back or when things seem to possibly end for his story, loki still manages to survive.
LAMENTIS | based on the namesake of the episode, this is the nexus event that caused them to be found but what was it? personally, from watching the episode and keeping in mind that this is 2012!loki, i think that the nexus event was hope and acceptance between them. i think there’s genuine hope despite being stuck on a doomed planet about to become smaller flying rocks in space. in every apocalypse so far, we’ve seen that basically anticipating and accepting the end of the world doesn’t cause a breach in the timeline because what is there to hope for? it’s all going to be destroyed anyway no matter the little fake hope you have inside yourself telling you that everything is going to be alright. loki and sylvie up to this point haven’t had that kind of hope before ever in their lives. with the acceptance part, i think it's self-acceptance and acceptance of their roles in the universe. roll with me here, loki throughout the mcu has never accepted his fate or what's supposed to happen; he's always fighting it and trying to come out on top as a ruler of people whether it's earth, asgard and sakaar. he doesn't accept to not be a ruler or on the losing side of a battle against earth's mightiest heroes and at odds with the other marvel characters. he doesn't fully accept himself either because he didn't know he was adopted until at least one thousand years later and he couldn't accept that he wasn't destined for something other than a shadow or simply his title as the god of mischief. it made a lot more sense in my head tbh. a lot of people freaking out about this moment being loki falling in love with sylvie/himself but i don't think that's it. loki for once genuinely cares about someone else and i think it's platonic cause while i have little faith in the mouse house giving us more than confirmation that loki is bisexual, i don't think they'd make loki fall in love with himself.
LOKI'S TIME CELL | a nostalgic reveal we get is sif in this looped time cell plucked from loki's memory. apparently, he cut off a chunk of her hair because he thought it would be funny. in typical sif fashion, she proceeds to beat him up in retaliation as well of sharing some biting words. it's interesting how after a few loops and knees to the nuts, loki apologizes to sif about the prank and admits that he's afraid of being alone and acts narcissistic and like a pompous asshole if you will because of this fear. i think this is a bigger break through of his character than the one we saw in the first episode because he's admitting it to someone from his life that he highly respected but acted like a child to her to get her attention even if it was negative. i wish for more vulnerable loki moments because it continues to prove that loki isn't just the god of mischief, he can be more (as thor said in ragnarok).
MOBIUS VS LOKI | honestly, this whole interrogation scene screamed mobius being jealous of loki making pals with sylvie and i loved it. what i like is that mobius does air the sentiment that we all have in our heads after realizing that loki and sylvie did somehow click to create the nexus event. it's narcissism to the max. again, i think loki truly cares for sylvie in a platonic or even a familial sense since they both don't make connections too often with others (romantic or platonic).
HUNTER B-15 | i was wondering what happened with her after her run in with sylvie at the roxxcart supermarket. clearly, sylvie unlocked a memory within her subconscious as well and is starting to doubt herself. we don't see what memory of hers it was but it's enough to make her break protocol and go against the TVA later on in the episode. in conclusion, we have no choice but to stan this queen. also seems like she wasn't reset in that final battle so we'll hopefully see her in the next episode.
RAVONNA & MOBIUS | their friendship is put to the test in this episode. while being of a higher position than mobius, ravonna does seem to care deeply for mobius. she said so herself, she wants to protect mobius...but from the truth instead of the false danger about sylvie that she's filling his head with. ravonna clearly knows a lot more than she's letting on and that the TVA is an elaborate lie. i think she wants to protect mobius from the truth because she doesn't seem to have other close friendships like the one with him. it's also clear she cares for him when he's pruned (supposedly!) by another hunter. also, there's this other analyst/field agent mobius always brings up when we see them in her office so i wonder if it's someone who also knows about the grand lie the TVA is or is even some alternate variant of kang the conqueror who we know is supposed to be introduced in the third ant-man movie. it'd be interesting to see if kang is teased one way or another in the final two episodes.
DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU DESERVE TO BE ALONE? | the question mobius poses to loki when he starts to believe that they may be telling the truth. it's an interesting question to pose because we've been hearing it and have seen it throughout the mcu with loki. the time loop loki's stuck in, sif tells him that he'll always be alone. throughout the mcu, loki has been alone in his plans and mischief despite being surrounded by his family, his future enemies, and his people. loki has known nothing but being on his own, being his own island of chaos. as sylvie put it earlier, they're a product of the universe trying to break free, chaos. mobius knows that this nexus event has something to do with the two of them, for once, accepting that they're not alone or that they're not just a cosmic mistake, there's hope for them to be whatever they want and not just confined to their mischievous roles.
RAVONNA & SYLVIE | in the elevator, sylvie confronts ravonna about her crime as a child. it's something everyone wants to know, what does a young loki have to do to be charged and reset by the TVA? ravonna seems to know that this something she can leverage and torture sylvie with so she claims to not remember. sylvie says that it must've been important and severe enough to mess up the sacred timeline. maybe she wasn't supposed to know that she was adopted until later in her life like our loki. she's supposed to be causing trouble and be this terrible villain but what if with sylvie knowing her true parentage at such an early age, she learned to accept herself/identity and made peace with it. that's another thing that could've caused the nexus event between the two, they had found self-acceptance even at just the brink of death. maybe they're supposed to do so but later in their lives in their own timelines so that's why it's enough to destroy the TVA as mobius hinted at earlier. happy that sylvie decided to keep ravonna for information so i expect the next episode to have them in ravonna's office or still in the timekeeper chambers as ravonna tells us what is going on.
THE TIMEKEEPERS | when sylvie beheads the central timekeeper, we learn that they're mindless androids. it never ends, there's no throne to sit upon after killing them so it seems. it was all just a giant hoax but this further feeds into my personal theory that kang, one way or another, is behind all of this. what i find really interesting is how the other two timekeepers laugh when sylvie beheads one. whoever is behind controlling the fake androids, they have a way to see what is happening and communicate in real time with the TVA agents and variants. hopefully in the final two episodes we see what the hell is going on and how the TVA came to be and why.
LOKI POST CREDIT SCENE | so apparently, loki isn't reset or something of the sorts. he's actually sent to another world. i believe this is an alternate new york where we'll see president loki as you can see the remains of the old avengers tower. this makes me think about mobius' fate to be similar to loki's; possibly sent to either the same place or a similar world. we see three human new lokis here. from the credits, we have classic loki (richard e. grant), kid loki (jack veal), and boastful loki (deobia oparei). apparently there's also a crocodile!loki and i'm here for it. can't wait to see how our favorite variant gets out of it next week!
oh god, this was so rusty and unorganized but hope if whoever reads this can somewhat understand the points i'm trying to get across.
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mystery-salad · 3 years
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OC Interview: Matthias
Tagged by @just-eyris-things 💖 and I'm late to the party but here we are!
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INTRODUCTION
1. Can you introduce yourself?
He offers a charming smile, "Matthias , Commander of the Pact."
2. What is your gender identity, orientation and relationship status?
"I'm a bisexual man, and very much a free bachelor still." He gives a wink
3. Where and when were you born?
"Right here in Divinity's Reach twenty five years ago. Wonderful city to grow up in, made a lot of connections that got me to where I am today."
4. What is your weapon of choice and fighting style?
"While the standard sword and shield are the usual for soldiers like me, I prefer dual swords. I'm not one to take a defensive stance when I can charge right in against danger. It's good to take charge on and off the field of battle."
5. Lastly, are you happy?
He lets out a soft, charming chuckle before answering. "If I wasn't happy I surely would've moved on to other job propositions by now, my parents surely would prefer I took a safer role after my time in the Seraph. But there's something fulfilling about being able to travel and help people in a way I couldn't if I'd remained here."
FAMILY AND FRIENDS
1. What’s your family like? What is your relationship with them?
"Oh they're wonderful, despite their status they love to keep a low profile though, so I'll avoid dragging this question out too long. We get along well and I try to write or visit when the opportunity arises."
2. Have you ever ran away from home?
"Never even had the thought to, there wasn't much to regret or bemoan of my childhood." He smiles fondly as he recalls, "There were night sneaking out with friends of course, boys will be boys, but I'd always come back by morning. Hopefully to parents none the wiser I'd even left, though I was not as stealthy as I'd thought."
3. Would you consider marriage or having children?
"While I'm in such a dangerous line of work I wouldn't dream of raising a family. I'd hate to be one of those absent fathers off to war. But perhaps, when retirement inevitably comes knocking and it's time to pass the torch on, I may settle down and find The One."
4. Do you secretly hate one of your friends?
"Of course not! I've had nothing but the most trustworthy and kind friends here. And while I know rumors spread that I and my co-Commander, Aildyn (@ascalonianpicnic), had a rocky start to our partnership, I can assure that the two of us work wonderfully together. Just a small cultural conventions bump was all."
5. Which friend knows everything about you?
"Oh, telling any friend everything leaves little to still keep each other on your toes does it? We all have our stories and dalliances we save for more private moments." His smile softens a little, as if fondly thinking of someone. "Nevertheless there is someone who knows the most about me, I'll keep her name secret to avoid any unwanted attention it may garner for her."
ASKED BY FANS
1. Are you literate? Have you been to school?
He feigns insult before offering a smile softening any potential misunderstanding on the action, "Me, illiterate? Id never hear the end of it from my family if I was, with how expensive the schooling I received was. And I highly doubt Logan would have put forth someone lacking in the ability to hold up the more tedious side of running an organization."
2. The eeriest prediction you made that later came true?
"I'm not one for predictions really, I prefer to live in the moment and enjoy what surprises may come."
3. What is something you were embarrassingly late to realize?
"Hmm, I like to pride myself on being observant, so this isn't a particularly easy one to recall. But as a child, it took me quite a few years to realize that not all 'bite sized food was actually bite sized. Had some hilarious moments at dinner parties my parents hosted, not that they'd agree with the results."
4. Do you have mental health or physical issues?
"I'm quite proud to say I'm in tip top shape, physically and mentally. The safety of the world is in very stable hands." He holds his hands out slightly for flourishing emphasis before settling back for the next question.
5. What is your current main goal?
"While we are between dragon threats at the moment, a wonderfully relaxing place to be, we do in fact have some behind the scenes research going on in a few various matters. I'm not at public liberty to talk about then yet, but rest assured when the Pact makes another move you'll be the first to know the scoop."
CHOICES
1. Drink or food?
"Drink of course, a nice drink with friends can happen anywhere at any time. And I'm quite the amicable socialite if I say so myself."
2. Cats or dogs?
"I enjoy both, though I prefer the independence of cats. They know what they want at all times, and I'm afraid I'm far too busy for the training a dog would require of me."
3. Early bird or night owl?
"I'm an early riser by nature, nothing like getting a solid mourning routine and breakfast in before starting the day!"
4. Optimist or pessimist?
"I fancy myself an optimist, this job would get oppressively depressing otherwise wouldn't it? You've got to be able to focus on the bright side as you look forward."
5. Sassy or sarcastic?
"I enjoy some sarcasm here and there, sass has little use in mature conversation aside from hindering the mood. Sarcasm meanwhile, can still let things roll forward with intent thrown in."
HAVE YOU EVER
1. Been caught sneaking out?
He laughs, "While I'd underestimate the count of how many times my parents caught me either sneaking out or back in after a fun night with friends, I'm sure they'd overestimate it. But yes, they've caught me at least once."
2. Broke a bone?
"I've broken an arm or leg here and there, sometimes you just slip up or fall the wrong way of course. Especially when your enemies would like to cause far worse harm. But thankfully we have access to wonderful healers, and I've never been down for long."
3. Received flowers?
The admirers of the Pact and the hard work we do are very kind, they certainly make their adoration and appreciation known. I've received more flowers than I'd have room for even if I filled my office with vases."
4. Ghosted someone?
"Of course not, I'd hate to leave someone hanging and wondering what happened. Anything I enter into, I intend to see through to however it ends."
5. Pretended to laugh at a joke you didn’t get?
"We all have moments of polite convention, and not every joke appeals to every sense of humor. I try to be discerning when necessary, but I've laughed at a fare number of jokes I simply didnt get."
He stands up, giving a polite bow to the interviewer. "Thank you for extending this invitation to me, it's always wonderful knowing how admirers feel and being able to share with the general public that we heroes are just like everyone else."
It's important to know that 99% of this interview is a bold faced lie
I think pretty much everyone's been tagged by now! At least those who want to do it! So I simply extend the invitation to say I tagged you, and mention me if you do this too! I'd love to see others who haven't gotten to this yet either 💜
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freddieslater · 3 years
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Rowing the Rarepair Rowboat: Liv Parker x Georgie Dowling (The Vampire Diaries)
"This class is a joke," Liv says bitterly, glaring at the textbook laid open in front of her.
Occult studies. Ten percent occult and ninety percent studies at this point. Honestly, they're too scared that someone's going to catch on that half of the class and the entire college is filled up with actual witches, not to mention vampires and werewolves, that they don't bother teaching anything interesting. 
"Yeah, well, I told you that you wouldn't like it," Luke says without looking up from his own work. He's laying back on Liv's bed, steadily and easily making his way through his own assignments. 
Liv directs her glare to him and wryly says, "Thank you, that was so helpful."
"It's what you get for refusing to let me take the LSATS because it meant I'd move away from you." He looks up at her now, flashing a sarcastic smile. "If I have to take boring college courses, like history and English lit, then you have to suck up the butchering of our entire existence. We're in this together, remember?"
Using her own words against her is a dick move. Still, there isn't exactly room for her to argue; she did talk him out of the LSATS in order for them to be able to attend this college. But in her defence, they were on a search for the dopplegangers at that point and she was pretty sure they weren't at Harvard. 
Saying nothing rather than admit he's right, she turns back to her textbook. Then she slams it closed, to which Luke just chuckles at, evidently finding amusement in her frustration. A shock zips beneath her fingertips, she groans, and the textbook flies across the room -- just as the door opens. The girl freezes in the doorway with wide eyes. 
"Whoa! Uh... sorry," she says uncertainly. Her eyes dart from Liv's sheepish expression to Luke. "I was just... coming to see if you were still up for that coffee we were talking about earlier?"
Luke breathes out a sigh of relief and immediately puts his books down, and swings himself off of the bed. "God yes. Free me, Georgie, I'm begging you, or else I will literally go insane."
Georgie laughs. She points at Liv, her eyebrows raising. "Hey, uh... you're Liv, right? God, you two really are twins, huh?"
Liv gives a thin smile. "As far as I'm aware. But I clearly got all of the good looks and about seventy percent of the intelligence."
Georgie's gaze lingers, giving her a subtle once-over as her smile stretches into a faint smirk. She nods.
"Yeah, I can see the looks part. Good is an understatement, though."
"I am right here," Luke says, throwing his hands out. 
They both roll their eyes. Georgie turns back to him.
"Shut up, you know you're adorable," she tells him, to which he rolls his eyes back at her but smiles. "But as a flaming bisexual who leans more towards girls, your sister is winning this competition of attractiveness." She looks back over at Liv and shrugs, grinning at her. "Sorry to be blunt on our first meeting. I'm sure you have a really nice personality as well."
Luke scoffs. "She does not. Trust me."
He ignores the rather impolite hand gesture Liv aims at him. Grabbing his coat from the chair, he motions his head to the door.
"You coming?" he asks Georgie. 
"Mhm." She pauses to ask Liv, "Do you wanna come with? We're probably just gonna go to that little cafe across from campus."
When Liv hesitates, glancing at the textbook now on the floor on the other side of the room, Georgie gestures at it. 
"Oh, I can, you know, help you make up for any lost time studying," she says. "What classes are you taking? I don't see you in history."
"Occult studies."
Georgie's face lights up like a kid on Christmas day. "Are you kidding? There's a class for that? Oh, I am so switching my major, what the hell?" She swats Luke's arm. "Why didn't you tell me that was an option?"
"Because I didn't want you two meeting for this exact reason," Luke responds, joking. At least partially. "Now, can we please go?"
Georgie gives him another eye roll, and starts to speak. Liv beats her to it, talking directly to her with bright smile, "You know what? I would love to come with you. Some caffeine could really help me focus."
"Doubtful," Luke mutters with a displeased look, but he doesn't complain any further about her tagging along. Just throws her hoodie at her and motions for her to be quick about getting ready. "I'll be downstairs. Georgie?" 
She's still staring at Liz, a curious look on her face to match that twitching smile on her lips. Okay, Liv thinks, merely raising her eyebrows back at her. This could be interesting. Whitmore has been fairly boring ever since they stopped the travellers, prevented Kai from destroying their coven, drove some crazy-ass heretics out of town, and took down a supernatural hunter with a shaman curse to kill all vampires. Her life could use a little more mystery every so often, and it's been long enough since the last one. 
"Georgie," Luke repeats, exasperation slipping into his voice.
"Yep." She backs away now, biting her lip, then turns to leave. She pats Luke's shoulder on the passing, and in what is probably meant to be an attempt at a whisper, says, "Tell me she's single."
Luke closes his eyes and groans. Liv tries to supress a snicker but fails, even as the base of her neck heats up, a gentle flush creeping up to her cheeks. She just presses her lips together in a pleased smile, but raises her eyebrows in a facade of nonchalance. 
"Get out," Luke says, shaking his head. "Just... go, before I start looking for a spell to make the earth swallow me."
Georgie throws her one last glance before walking out of the room. Luke sighs, then wheels right around to point a finger at Liv. 
"I do not want another Tyler situation, all right?" he warns. "He was actually my friend until you started dating him, so, if you have any feelings for Georgie at all, please, for the love of god... just don't do anything dumb, okay?"
Liv rolls her eyes. "I won't! I don't even know the girl."
"Mhm." Luke just gives a certain kind of stare that she knows very well -- the same one she's given him on multiple occassions as well. They're used to trying to steer each other clear of friends that could become potential hook-ups. "Just dial down the flirting."
"That's my natural personality," Liv quips, shrugging. 
Luke's expression is mildly pained. He just waves her off, evidently not able to deal with any of this right now, and follows after Georgie. Liv quickly pulls on her hoodie and follows, scraping her hair out of the back of the hoodie and into the scrunchie tied around her wrist as she hurries after them. She can just take Georgie up on her offer to help her with her assignment later. 
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callmeunstable · 4 years
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Angels & Demons - Chapter 4
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Chapter 4
Characters: Reader, Godling, Savilla, Jaskier
Summary: After finding a friendin Jaskier their friendship get tested. Unsure of the danger ahead Alva tries her best to live in the village.
Warnings: Cursing, Blood, Death
Words: 2.000+
A/N: Hey! This is the fourth part of my fic. It took really long this time due to personal problems. I’m sorry but it probably will happen again. Thank you for you patience and enjoy!
Disclaimer: GIF’s and PNG’s are taken from Tumblr and are not mine! Credits to the creators!
Tags: @marvelbrat @charliestuff
Song: 
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“Did ya hear the rumors?”
“The folks are saying the Nilfgaards want to overrule Cintra.”
“That’s never been a secret, mate. Cintra will fall and we all know that.”
“Got to hell. Our Lioness is strong. Don’t ya ever doubt her skill.”
These were the latest accusations browsing around the village. Cintra, the kingdom Alva was currently staying, was about to fall. The men were right when they're saying that. Even Savilla was under tension these days. She said they could arrive any day by now. 
The Lioness was the Queen of this state. Calanthe of Cintra, known also as the "Lioness of Cintra" and "Ard Rhena" called by the Elders. The mother of Pavetta, and grandmother of Ciri. She was known for her bravery and beauty. That is at least what she figured while serving in the tavern. She heard tons of rumors but couldn’t understand what that meant for her.
Sevilla had already started packing the most important goods and she collected all the money she received. Rarely spending anything except for once. She bought two horses. They weren’t expensive she said and necessary for traveling. 
When the Nilfgaards want to overrule Cintra the will stop here. Their town was called Walen. It’s close to the capital of Cintra. Where the Queen and the King had their castle. It may be a small village but you will get everything you need in this town. Food, animals, tailors, and a blacksmith.
Overall this village was not a poorly town. It had more than enough money to keep everyone well fed through the winter, which was a rare thing in this century. They didn’t necessarily depend on other nearby villages. They made everything they could need by themselves. Sevilla already had a plan figured out. James was still living in his forest and promised to alert them directly if he’d see something unusual and he would try to save them some time. In the beginning, Alva didn’t understand why the had to take all these precautions until the mage explained it to her. The Nilfgaardian Army was strong and powerful. They raided villages, stole their good, and raped the women. Their goal was to overrule Cintra, which means they wouldn’t hesitate to torture the people living here to receive any information they would mark as useful.
It was horrible and disgusting but it was the way this world worked. You have to protect yourself because nobody else will.
The job at the tavern kept her busy. It was quite fun now that Jaskier decided to stay. She liked his singing and his humor, even if sometimes he’d get on her nerves. He was flirting with every woman he could come across and needless to say, it didn’t stay with flirting if the girl agreed.
Gladly Jaskier understood rather quickly not to tease Alva's patience because she didn’t care about the girly behavior this world was used to. She was quick with grabbing any nearby object and chasing the bard with it. Once or twice even with his lute.
She would consider them both as good friends, which is why she was asking the bard about his plans when the Niflgaards arrive. “They don’t scare me. I’m not scared of anything. I could even get some new stories to tell in my songs.”
The bard was sometimes naive but he assured Alva that he knew what was coming and that he will be prepared.
Another day another workday for Alva. It was all peaceful and quiet, especially in the mornings. She liked that shift a lot. But not today. She was the first server to enter and she quickly realized that. Dozens of mugs were laying on the floor, bear and gin spilled everywhere.
“Was there a party I don’t know about?” Alva let that question settle in the room, soon recognizing that no one was there to talk to.
“All right, fuck all of you then.”
“Why you gotta be so mean all the time?” 
The mumbling sound of Jaskier's voice broke the silence and Alva spotted his hat in one of the corners of the room. The rest was hidden behind a barrel. He looked rather ruff. His Jacket was thrown on the chair beside him and his shirt was unbuttoned pretty far down. Thankfully he had his pants still on.
“Because you're sleeping quietly in your corner while I have to scrub the floor that you probably spilled you drink on.” Alva throws her bag at Jaskier, hitting him right in the belly.
“That was uncalled for. And to be exact it wasn’t only me. The men last night were enormously friendly and gave everyone a drink for free. Let me tell you it was fantastic.”
“Glad to hear you had a good time. Did you earn more than usual.”
“Probably. Can’t remember if I shall be completely honest.”
That sounded like typical Jaskier. 
Alva grabbed some towels and a bucket, filling it with water and soap. She dipped one into the liquid and searched for her target. Jaskier was standing a few meters away. His back was facing her.
“Don’t you know that turning your back to someone is just plain rude.” And with these words, the towel was being thrown, right on Jaskier's head. But the bard didn’t seem to mind the wet cloth sitting on top of his head.
“What the hell are you doing Jaskier?” The girl made her way over to him, to take a look at the interesting thing Jaskier was concentrated on. 
She didn’t like was she was seeing. Jaskier had opened her bag and grabbed one of her leather notebooks, Sevilla gave her exactly 3 of them, so she could keep track of this world and for anything else, Alva wanted to write down.
“You lied to me!” Jaskier let out an offended sigh. “You are a bard yourself and you didn’t tell me? I'm deeply offended, Alva.”
Alva tried to snatch the book out of his hands, unsuccessfully. “Jaskier, I will kick your ass! Give it back!” Jaskier was probably about 1 ½ head taller than Alva. That made it far more difficult.
“Why would I? These are amazing. Why did you hide them from me?”
“I’m not a bard Jaskier. I just like to write songs, get it?”
“You have to sing for me sometime or at least allow me to use some of your poetry.”
“For Christ's Sake Jaskier give me the book or I will kick you in your balls and that is a promise.”
Jaskier's shocked eyes stared her blank in the face. “No need to threaten me. But I've heard worse than that.” The bard still didn’t give the book back. Alva was struggling to get hold of his arm, that he held far up in the air. 
“That’s so romantic. May I quote ‘I've been hiding for so long, these feelings they’re not gone, can I tell anyone?’ What a poet you are little girl.”
“Jaskier I’m begging you, please stop!” Alva knew what the next line read. And she knew in which time frame she was captured. This will not end well.
“Why this is adorable! ’Afraid of what they'll say, so I push them away. I'm acting so strange.’ Does someone have a crush on good ol’ Jaskier?”
“Jaskier you don’t want to read further trust me.” Alva stopped reaching for her journal. It wouldn’t change what would happen next, she was too small and Jaskier to stubborn.
“’ They're so pretty it hurts. I'm not talking 'bout boys, I'm talking 'bout’ … oh.” There it was. Would he hate her now? Was she about to be abandoned from this village? She had no idea what would happen next.
“I’m sorry, Alva. I didn’t me to intrude your privacy.” Jaskier looked ashamed. That was a surprising sight. He quietly closed the book and handed it to her. She grabbed it and stuffed it bag in her back.
“You’re not going to tell anyone, are you?”
“No, don’t be afraid. I don’t mind that. It’s just a bummer, I thought you had a swarm for myself. I guess I was wrong.” Jaskier let out a friendly laugh and scratched the back of his head.
“Wait, you don’t hate me?”
“Why would I? I mean I’m fond of women myself so why would I blame you? I’m just a little bit disappointed. I thought maybe I had a chance to win you over, at least for a night.”
Alva punched Jaskier softly in his side. 
“You’re a douche. But if you want to know. I still think men are attractive. But in my opinion, women are as well. So why exactly decide?” Alva tried her best to explain Jaskier with the easiest way that she’s bisexual.
“Does that mean I still have a chance of winning you over?” Jaskier's typical smirk was setting and he wiggled with his eyebrows.
“Technically yes, but no thanks.”
“That was disappointing.”
The day went quietly after this. Alva was happy about the fact that Jaskier didn’t mind her sexuality at all. He was indeed a great friend. He kept it a secret as he promised. And he didn’t change one bit.
A couple of weeks later they were walking back from the village that was next to Walen. It was a one-day march but it didn’t bother them. Sevilla sent Alva to get herbs she ran out of and Jaskier gladly announced himself as her companion. He didn’t want her to get lost and a woman should never walk alone, in his opinion.
It was only about a half an hour walk left, they were just arriving in the forest of James when they saw black smoke rising from the direction they were heading. “What the hell?” Alva didn’t understand what that was supposed to be. It was new to her that the village people used smoke signals.
“That’s not good.” Jaskier started to run, Alva behind him. What’s happening? “Why are we running?”, called Alva so Jaskier was able to hear her through the cracking branches they were running over.
“I think Nilfgaard reached Walen! Hurry!”
Anxiety was crawling up her throat. This couldn’t be real. Sevilla warned her but she never took it that seriously. She thought this would never happen.
“Alva!” The familiar voice of James was ringing in her head. The Godling used this method a lot to talk to Alva without needing to be seen.
“What is happening, James?” “Nilfgaard raided the village not even ten minutes ago. You need to run away! Not in the direction of the village! It will be your death!” The Godling was panicking like a child. His voice sounded helpless.
“I have to make it. I need to see if Sevilla is okay. Can you shield us? I beg you, James.” Alva needed to flee with Sevilla, she was not going to leave her there. “I try my best. But there are too many. You won't have much time.”
“I don’t need long, just help us!”
In the far Sevilla's house came in sight. It looked like normal, only the pots and jar outside the house were broken.
“Be quiet. I saw some soldiers not far from here. It's Nilfgaard. We have to leave!” Jaskier was pushing her in a bush, trying to have at least a little bit of cover. Screams and cries became audible. Uncontrolled and painful.
“Sevilla had a plan. I need to get her. We have horses. You can come with us Jaskier. But I need to get Sevilla, do you understand?” Alva was determined. 
She was not going to leave her. She was like a mother to her, all this time. She gave her a home when anyone else would have left her to die. The girl pushed the fabric of her dress aside, grabbing the hidden dagger.
“You are crazy! Going in there.”
“You will not stop me.”
“Alright then. Let’s go, you crazy girl. When we die, at least we’ll die together.”
They were slowly approaching the cottage. Trying to make out any sound.
“There is no one around you. You can enter.” James was back in her head. Alva didn’t hesitate anymore, breaking through the door.
It was horrifying. Everything was broken. All of the herbs were ripped out of their pots. All of their clothing was laying ripped on the floor. The fireplace was burning and tons of papers were stuffed into it.
But the worst thing was yet to come. Sevilla was laying on her stomach. The back part of an arrow was sticking out of her back.
“Sevilla!” The girl let out a shrieking scream. Jaskier quickly covered her mouth and held her in his arms. 
The was so much blood. All of her clothes were colored in a dark red. She wasn’t moving anymore.
“Alva, you need to listen to me.” Jaskier was grabbing her face and trying to get her to focus. “I know this is hard but you have to grief later. She wouldn’t want you to die here. You told me she protected you, I understand. But we have to leave.”
Alva was frozen, not even noticing her tears falling to the floor. “I can't keep them away much longer Alva!” A panicked voice ripped her out of her trance state. 
She wouldn’t want her to die. She has to live for her. “T- The rug. Under the rug.” Jaskier pushed the carpet aside and a hatch became visible.
Jaskier opened it and there were 6 bags stuffed together. Each of them grabbed three.
Alva was still looking at the corpse of Sevilla. She was lost in this world once again. No help to escape it.
“The horses! Where are they, Alva?” Jaskier started to panic like the girl. 
“Behind the house in the shed.”
Both ran outside, with a last glance at the mage they left. The horses were still outside, visibly unsettled.
“Help me saddle them. Hurry up!” They fixed the straps and secured the bags. While doing that a not fell out of the pockets attached to the saddle. Quickly picking it up she stuffed it on the inside of her pants. 
“You need to ride with this dress. Are you able to do that?” Jaskier wanted to make sure the girl stayed focused. It was the most important thing at the moment.
“N-no, I can't. B-but.” She held up her dagger and sliced the fabric of her legs. Ripping every single part of it off her body. Anger was building up in her body. “Stop that! We don’t have time for one of your outbreaks. Get up! Now!” Jaskier helped the girl on the horse and fastly climbed on the other one.
The horses picked up on speed. They could sense that they were in a dangerous situation. Alva looked back at the small village she called her home. But now she has to travel into the unknown with a bard my her side.
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tomishaped · 3 years
Text
Rating:
Explicit
Archive Warnings:
Graphic Depictions Of Violence • Major Character Death
Category:
M/M
Fandom:
Supernatural
Relationship:
Dean Winchester!Izzy Hlton
Characters:
Dean Winchester • Izzy Hilton • Sam Winchester • Asmodeus • Dagon • Demons • Hellhound • Ellen Harvelle • Jo Harvelle • Hunters • Crowley • Charlie Bradbury • Bobby Singer • Ruby • Death • Pestilence • Famine • War • Castiel • Angels • Cain
Additional Tags:
Demon Dean Winchester • Demon Sex • Kidnapping • Gay Sex • Blood • Blood Kink • Hate Sex • Love/Hate • Major Character Injury • Major Original Character(s) • Character Death • Past Child Abuse • Past Rape/Non-con • Past Sexual Abuse • Past Torture • Past Violence • Canon-Typical Violence • Violence • Protective Dean Winchester • Bisexual Dean Winchester • Top Dean Winchester • Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings • Izzy is too • Emotional Hurt/Comfort • Emotional/Psychological Abuse
Summary: After being pulled out of hell Dean realizes quickly that the four months he had been gone made way for a lot of changes in the lives of everyone he knows, including the life he had known for himself before he died. Nobody was treating him the same, and there was seriously something going on with his brother that he could not figure out. He was spending most of his time alone nowadays, not really hunting anymore since Bobby and Sam were against it for him, and spending most of his time drinking instead to try and forget. He was angry, pretty much all the time. That anger really worked in his favour though when walking back to the impala he came across a freaking hoard of demons getting ready to attack some blond chick. He didn't know who she was or what the hell all the demons wanted with her, but there was no way he could just walk away. Maybe if he had any idea what trying to save this person was going to lead too he would have just walked away, maybe if he had actually given any thought to the situation before him he wouldn't have put himself in the middle of it, but even before hell he made impulsive and rash decisions... so maybe not.
Previous Chapters
• Chapter One •
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Chapter Two: Welcome to the Batcave
Part One
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When they had reached the car Dean made quick work of the door locks and got them both inside before he punched it, only leaving squealing tires and smoke behind them as they took off. Dean didn’t start to relax till they were a mile or so away from the group of demons, still keeping an eye on the mirrors though just in case. “You really pissed someone off," he said with a grin as he glanced over at the other while he drove.
Izzy did manage to force himself to relax once they were in the car, though Dean still happened to look tense with the way he was looking out his mirrors for someone. Honestly, it probably helped the demon to relax with the fact that Izrael couldn't feel Dagon as close anymore. She was either losing interest or losing track of them for now, either way that worked for him. "Huh?" He was honestly confused at first when Dean said that, "Why would you think I pissed some- oh! Because of all that? Right. Yeah. They don't seem to fond of me, do they? I should probably stop crashing into their parties like that." 
Izrael shifted in the seat a little and rolled his eyes when he saw the man look out his mirrors again, "You can stop doing that now. We're fine, mommy lost us," he said with a shrug, leaning back in the seat again, trying to get comfortable. He was ready to get out of the Winchesters car now, and he would really like to do it without having to kill the hunter next to him in order to keep him from following or trying to track him. Even if he didn't have an issue with killing humans, he didn't know which way Dean's soul would go now and having it back in the pit after he killed him could possibly become… problematic. "So uh, yeah, you can just drop me off whenever now and can go get back too… whatever the hell you were doing before joining me at that lovely party tonight. I'm actually supposed to be at a different party right now anyways, so anywhere is good."
Dean snickered when the other said that they had crashed a few parties, it made sense. He did raise an eyebrow when he was told that the horde had backed off of them. Granted he hadn’t noticed any one but still, he never trusted demons to give up. “To be honest, I was out looking for a good time… guess I found it,” he said with a wicked grin, still feeling a bit of an adrenaline high from the fight and sprint to the car. “Rest of my evening is open if you want some back up,” he offered the blond. “Not saying you can’t handle yourself, I saw your moves back there but… twenty to one is a bit much,”  he said while giving him a bit of a doubtful side look. 
This is what Dean thought of as a good time? The human was either suicidal or crazy. Sure, Izzy did have fun doing shit like this too, but he was a demon- he was fucking crazy. "Mmm, yeah… it was a bit much till you showed up. Definitely would have ended up losing this jacket," Izrael laughed a little at Dean and shook his head, "See, I haven't gone and learned my lesson yet it seems since I'm definitely gonna be crashing one of their parties again. Gotta find it first though, and I can't do that in a strangers car."
Dean raised an eyebrow when the blond mentioned that they weren’t done yet and was looking to start a similar party to where he just found them. Ok sure he had been doing stupid stuff since he got back but he had an excuse. He was trying to repress what felt like forty years of Hell - literal Hell. So what was this kid's excuse? She might be crazy, but her crazy was also kinda hot and hunters like this don’t tend to stick in one place long because of the next big hunt. Besides, too often if they stayed in one place for long then all the enemies they made along the way had a tendency to catch up to them. “I can drop you off wherever your next party is so you don’t get jumped on the way again…” Dean trailed off a little as he drove, “could at least tell me your name before you get yourself killed.”
Izrael smiled at the hunter. "Why would I give someone I've never met in this life my name? Doesn't sound too smart. Besides, I don't see you passing over that information either."
Dean grinned. “Sorry, thought you picked it up before things got hairy. Names Dean, Dean Winchester," he said as he held a hand out to shake as he drove, glancing at the blond but mostly keeping his eyes on the road. “You know demons can’t keep their big mouths shut, if your next party is anything like that one, they’re going to be ready for you and you’re going to lose more than your jacket, sweetheart," he said in a matter of fact tone. “Might be a better idea to show up with back up and armed to the teeth,” he offered with a mischievous grin. “Lucky for you I know the perfect place.”
His excuse? His absolute only memories were of hell. Turning into a demon the way he had had wiped out all his human memories and the little demon only knew the last sixty years he had spent in hell training to do just this. He wasn't trying to repress hell, why repress when it was all he knew? He was just doing what Asmodues sent him off to do, and with the youngest prince of hell being the closest person to the blond and having nothing else to really do… he listened. He enjoyed killing other demons, it was a task he found fun. But when your job is to kill any demon that stands against the man you're working for, you don't exactly make any friends. And being alone only gave him more time to hunt down Asmodues's enemies. It was a vicious never ending cycle that wasn't going to change anytime soon as far as Izrael could tell. Hell either hated him, feared him, or admired him from afar - very afar. No one was brave enough to chance getting on Izzy's bad side. And those that were like the hoard tonight that actually tried to kill him were just too stupid to stay away and deserved to die anyways as far as he was concerned. 
Of course he knew who Dean was once he heard his name. But the hunter didn't need to know that Izrael had heard of him. He eyed the other’s hand for a moment before he sighed and half gave in to the man, though didn't reach his own hand out, "Izzy Hilton," he said, using the name that Asmodues had given him for when he had to pretend to be human. Though he had no idea that it actually was his name. That Asmodues called him Izrael to see if any of the once nineteen year old’s memories would spark with little clues like that. It never did. "They're always on the lookout for me… wouldn't be anything new…" he said with a little shrug, getting the gut feeling that this hunter was not about to let him go off on his own anytime soon. The last thing the little demon needed was to do spend time with a fucking Wincester, especially the one that spent all that time in hell. "No offense, but I don't really work with others. Thanks for the help back there and everything, but you're Dean Winchester… so you and I working together is a bad idea. Trust me."
With both hands back on the wheel, Dean snorted when Izzy said that demons watching out was nothing new. He understood that, that's what made the Bunker so beautiful. It was the definition of a safe house for spooky shit and basically everything else. He sucked some air between his teeth when it seemed the other knew who he was by name, having heard some of the stuff hunters thought of him while he was putting in time at the Roadhouse. “Fair, I mean we did just meet and I also just saved your ass from a fucking gaggle of demons, but okay,” he said, half joking. “We don’t know each other, and inviting you to my secret Men of Letters bunker can seem a little Silence of the Lambs but I promise, imma damn puppy dog compared to your normal party guests,” he said,.  Ane yes, he did just name drop the Men of Letters to see if that helped his case. Dean wasn’t a creep and if Izzy wanted out he’d drop them off wherever they wanted but all horn-dog habits aside, he wouldn’t rest well if he did. He’d probably end up asking around and looking into this pretty Izzy Hilton to see what her story was about. “Again, I know bunker can be off putting, but this place is huge, over twenty bedrooms to pick from. It’s armed to the teeth so nothing is getting in. I have one of the few keys to get in but you can get out whenever you like,” he added, trying to seem a little less kidnappy and rapey. “That and there's a hundred year old whiskey collection.”
Izzy had absolutely zero ideas of what other hunters thought of the man he was currently sitting next too. Up until now, he had done a really good job at avoiding them in his travels and work. Sure, to be on the safe side he did do some research on hunters who seemed to be the biggest threats but until now he hadn't actually met any of them. So, right now he couldn't figure out if it was just bad fucking luck that Dean Winchester happened to walk in on his ambush, or some weird good luck to get him out of it unharmed. Even after over fifty years as a demon, almost sixty now maybe? He honestly had never actually hurt a human. So did he deserve this kind of bad luck? On the other hand though, can demons actually have good luck? It was really confusing. 
Fact was, Izzy only knew of Dean Winchester from the mouths of other demons. His research on hunters in general was by word of mouth in hell. It wasn't like there were any books he could read on them. So he knew the man was obviously a good hunter, and not just when it came to demons. He knew the idiot sold his soul to save that dumbass brother of his that was hanging around one of the main demons on his own hit list. It was just really hard to get to the bitch when she was being protected by the hunter drinking demon blood. He only knew that from actually running across her once, he could fucking smell the demon blood radiating from the human she was with and it didn't take long to figure out who that human was and what fucking Ruby was doing with him. Little Sammy Winchester. Lovely. He also knew the man next to him spent what was like forty years in hell, being tortured for most of them by fucking Alastair. It had come as a surprise when he heard that there was some sort of angel watching out for him. Well, the angel part wasn't really known when he figured it out. It was just known that the man was pulled out of hell and Izrael knew that an Angel was the only way the man could have escaped hell and returned to his body the way he had. And really, he would prefer to avoid angels. Most demons weren't really that much of a threat to him. They could likely hurt him but Izzy was not easy to actually kill. Not that they had quite figured that out yet. But he had no idea what an angel might be able to do to him. 
Izrael couldn't remember his own torture. He actually had no idea it even happened. Ever since the day Asmodues found his newly turned demon in that cage he kept his pet in, the youngest prince acted as though that was the first day of Izzy's life. He didn't even know that he was in that cage because of that man in the first place. "I'm not afraid of you, Dean, even though I'm pretty damn sure you're no puppy dog," Izzy told him with a little roll of his eyes, the man who had spent his last few years in hell torturing other souls was far from a puppy. But he had caught Izzy's attention mentioning the Men of Letters. He vaguely remembered Asmodues mentioning them decades ago. Something about them being all dead now… about them holding knowledge no one else had. Going to this bunker… could prove useful if the knowledge thing was true.
Izzy finally looked over at Dean again, tucking hair behind his ears, "Well whiskey is always a very good and tempting offer," he said, chewing on his lip a little as he thought it over. "If you're all armed like you say you are… Do you also have books and shit? Like, books on demons and shit." Izzy knew he had been turned differently than almost every other demon that existed, he had to have been to have his own body and no ability whatsoever to jump from one meatsuit to the next, but he had no idea what happened to make him this way. And no book he had found since being set loose on the world had been able to give him the answer he was looking for. If this bunker had hidden knowledge it might be his best bet to find out how he turned, because Asmodues wasn't telling him anytime soon. "And I really wouldn't have to just stay if I don't want to. I can just walk out? Seriously?"
Dean just grinned when the other said he was pretty sure he wasn’t a puppy, calling him out like that. And he believed them when they said that they weren’t scared of him, he did find her in the middle of a demon infested alleyway in the middle of the night. His grin grew when Izzy seemed to be mulling the thought over. He raised an eyebrow and chanced a longer glance at the other when he was asked about books. That he hadn’t been expecting, didn’t peg her for a book type. There might be something they were looking for specifically that the old bats had locked away. He would definitely be doing an inventory check but hey it sounded like they were coming around to the idea. A new face and alone time might do him some good, even if they don't get handsy and this Izzy turned out to be a gigantic book worm. 
“Like I said you need a magic key to get in but getting out isn’t a problem, locks behind you but I gotta warn you the cell service sucks,” he said with a smile. He altered his route and started out of town and toward the bunker. The long ride was pretty much silent after that, Dean was honestly a bit too nervous to say something and have the blond change her mind about coming. He couldn't help wanting to help her, wanting to figure her out at least a little. From wanting to protect the little thing and knowing that he would just worry about them at this point. “Just don’t take anything, alright? Not really supposed to take people to the BatCave but…” he trailed off with a shrug after he parked by the bunker, obviously making an exception for the blond right now. 
Izzy shrugged when he mentioned cell service, that meant pretty much nothing to him. Of course he knew what a cell phone was, he had been in this world long enough. But he never felt the need to get one. Who the hell was he gonna call? "No big deal, no cell phone. I was serious, I've never worked with someone else before. Never felt the need to get one," he shrugged, as little like it was normal or something to not have a cell this day and age. He honestly didn't actually know either way though. "And I don't plan on taking anything. I've got my own weapons and shit. Just… looking for a little info is all. If you happen to have a book with what I want to know, well, then I won't really need it anymore once I read it." He ignored the Bat Cave comment for the moment, not wanting to let the hunter next to him realize he actually understood the reference. He especially didn't want him to know he found it amusing.
Dean decided to leave Baby in a little hidden knook they made for when they didn’t plan on staying long and putting her in the very nice garage. He just grinned as they walked up to the old green doors after grabbing a bag from the trunk and he pulled it open for the other. Once past the first threshold Dean unlocked the second doors and stepped through, holding it open for the other. “This is the legacy of the Men of Letters, a bit old and dusty but we’re still fixing the place up.” he said as they made their way down the spirling, metal staircase. He walked past the light up map table and tossed his bag on the first long table in the library. “Wanna tour?” he asked as he turned to the other, smiling at them.
He just wanted a fucking book that explained how humans became demons. Without their souls spending hundreds of years tortured in hell. Asmodues had no choice but to tell him that he turned differently than everyone else when he realized he couldn't just jump from meat suit to meat suit like everyone else could. His soul never left his body, something in him changed while he was still a human. But that was all Asmodues would say on the subject. Honestly it was the one thing about the man who called himself Izzy's master that drove him absolutely insane. He didn't care so much about whatever his human life was since he couldn't miss what he didn't remember or had any sort of idea what it might have been like, but he did want to know why he turned into a demon. Was he evil in his previous life? Is that how it worked? He remembered someone once saying that he must have cracked to change the way he did, but cracked from what and how? He just wanted to know how the fuck he came into existence. What made him so different from other demons. Why even Dagon, who knew that Izzy couldn't kill her without that oh so special gun, feared him to some extent. And nothing he had found so far explained any of that shit. Was he a bookworm? Mmm, debatable. Ask any demon who knew him they'd say no,, but Izzy was really good at keeping things about himself pretty damn secret. The less people knew the less they had on you and the safer you were. But the truth was that he did love books, loved to read and learn. And now that he wasn't under Asmodues' thumb at all times and had a mission to carry out, he was able to use research for said mission as an excuse to read. Sure, he was actually doing research but for so much more than anyone actually knew. 
Izzy was a bit unsure following Dean into the bunker when they got there. This could be a really, really stupid idea. But on the other hand… he was going to have info on the Winchester's no one else could possibly dream of having and he might get a few other answers out of this as well so he followed along. He looked around as Dean led him through the place, tilting his head and letting a confused little look cross his face as he tilted his head back to see the ceiling, "Uh, sure, if you want. So, do you keep the bats in some special room or something? I kinda just pictured them all over the place."
Her not havung a phone probably should have set off more red fags then it did because even if you were a loner it was useful to have one since pay phones were all but extinct. He tilted his own head when Izzy had mentioned bats, that had been a reaction he might have expected from Cas but really? “It’s not really a batca-... never mind. This is our fortress,” he said, just trying to get past what he felt was a painful moment. He turned on his heel and held up his arms out on either side as he gestured to the books. “This is the library. Nothing says stuffy bookworms like having a library right at the front door right?” He said with a laugh, turning completely to face the other as he walked around one of the tables. 
If Izrael actually cared much about completely blending in when he was going by Izzy he probably would have gotten a cell phone. But truth be told, he didn't actually care what humans thought about him and despite Asmodues having insisted he play the part on earth he could probably count on one hand how many times he had ever used the name Izzy before. Since he usually avoided hunters he rarely ever felt the need too. So really… What was the point of carrying around a little electronic box used to call people? The only person who would ever actually want to get ahold of him had his own ways of doing so. But even Asmodues left Izzy to himself for the most part nowadays as long as he kept doing what he was told and continued to work his damnedest to keep Lucifer in his box. Though if he had realized how odd it actually was to not have one, he wouldn't have mentioned it. 
Of course it wasn't actually a Bat Cave. It almost annoyed him that the hunter found it so easy to believe that the batman reference really meant nothing to the blond. Sure, part of him was glad too because he didn't want the fact that he enjoyed those comics to be known by anyone, but still… how stupid did this hunter think he really was if he believed that Izzy? He was pretty sure that Batman was popular among humans. It was the Winchester thinking he was dumb that bothered him more than anything though, because that was just not true. Izzy had always been rather smart, even before he turned, he had a near photographic memory. But with all memories of humanity gone, and those memories being from close to sixty years before anyways, all that was left was hell and the supernatural. And he figured that shit out quickly, easily. Humans, not so much. Humanity and what they were like and what they did like were never on his list of things he needed to learn about. Humans weren't his targets. "No offense, but you don't exactly strike me as the bookworm type," he said, moving around the table to go and look at the spines of the books, fingers running lightly over them. Yeah, this would definitely be his best bet at finding answers. Some of these were obviously old as fuck. "The kill first and ask questions later type. Though I suppose since all you hunters go after everything supernatural, you need the lore books, huh?" He personally didn't bother with any other supernatural beings, just the demons on Lucifer and Dagon's side. Which was probably a good thing for them, if this little demon were to ever start working as a real hunter with someone like Dean… they wouldn't stand a chance. As they had proved earlier… the two of them working on the same side had some pretty nasty consequences for those fighting against them. 
Dean chuckled when Izzy said he didn’t seem like the book worm type, oh hell no that was Sammy’s department. “Yeah no, that's more my brother's thing,” he said as he walked over to the opposite wall, towards the small table with a few bottles filled clear, brown liquid and a few glasses. “I at least wait long enough to see what I'm fighting so I know how to kill it.” Dean poured them a few glasses and headed to the closest main table to the blond. He leaned against it on his hip and took a sip from his glass while he held out the other to Izzy. The other’s wording did strike him as odd though and he raised an eyebrow a little. The way he said it was just off, but Dean wanted to think Izzy was just into demons, and therefore could know some pretty useful stuff. That or maybe he was really green and thought of himself being different from regular hunters. His gut was telling him something was still off though, but he wasn’t sure what.
Izzy was glad his back was to the hunter when he mentioned his brother so he didn't see the little demon roll his eyes and scowl at the mention of that junkie who was seriously getting in his way with that bitch he was attached to. He was pretending he didn't really know much about them… which wasn't a complete lie, but he had a serious suspicion he knew something about the younger Winchester that Dean didn't. He might know about the demon bitch Sam hung out with but he highly doubted this man knew about the blood and psychic shit that boy was playing with. The psychic shit was honestly the main reason he hadn't gone after Ruby yet, he wasn't like other demons, he had no idea how Sam's little exercising shit would affect him. 
“You know, you never mentioned what you were looking into. I’m guessing something demon related,” he mentioned to the other. There wasn’t much small talk on the car ride over.
He didn't say anything for a bit while Dean spoke and walked around the room, more interested in looking through the shelves of books for anything that looked promising. But he never let his guard down really, constantly aware of where Dean was around him or how close he was. He stiffened a bit when he felt Dean closer again and he asked that direct question. Izzy didn't really want to answer anything he was asked, but avoiding taking to him too much might just seem more suspicious. Fuck. He really should have paid more attention to the humans around him the last decade, he was really bad at trying to be one. "Yeah, demon related," Izzy finally said as he turned around and saw Dean holding out the whiskey he had promised. Alcohol didn't really affect him as much as it did humans unless he drank an ungodly amount so he wasn't worried about drinking at least. 
He took the glass offered to him and leaned against the bookshelf behind him, shrugging his shoulder a little, "Don't know if you picked up on it during that whole ambush shit, but I kinda hunt demons. Apparently I'm pretty good at it since they don't seem to like me much at all." He took a drink from the whiskey he was given, relishing in the burn that goes down his throat. As a demon, the little blond didn't need to eat. The few times he did were few and far between and it was always for some reason he couldn't figure out, but knew he just wanted whatever the hell it was that he was trying. But he did like to drink. Alcohol that is. He liked the burn. 
"Just curious what kind of people become demons and how. Always good for a guy to know everything he can about his enemies and all, yanno?" It wasn't a lie. He had actually been avoiding actually lying to the hunter. Izzy didn't like to lie, it was too hard to remember the fake information he had given to who. So the only thing he had lied about was his name, but that wasn't that big of a lie as Izzy did sound like a nickname for Izrael. Mostly, he was just leaving out details he didn't think Dean needed to know. Like the fact he was a demon and really just wanted to know how he, himself, had turned. How demons like him were made. Because as far as the books he had found about demons elsewhere knew, Cain was the only other person to become a demon this way. And almost nothing was fucking known about that man. As a matter of fact, he was the one demon who no matter how hard he tried Izzy could not fucking find. Not that he had really looked into how to find him. He didn't want to kill Cain like he did with everyone else he hunted down, he wanted answers. But even so, he knew Cain wasn't exactly like him and probably didn't have the answers he wanted. So that had just been another fucking dead end. The little blond didn't do a whole lot of shit that he actually wanted to do or something anyways, ninety percent of his time was spent following Asmodues' orders to hunt down Dagon's followers and make sure Lucifer didn't get out of that cage. 
Dean nodded a little when the other confirmed that it was demon related, easy guess. “You don’t pick up that kind of attention without being a major pain in their ass,” he said with a snicker. The man's shoulders stiffened when he took another drink when Izzy said what he was looking into. What kind of people become demons. He forced back a smile and shifted a little as he tried to keep his mind focused on the task at hand and not let it run off with the flashbacks and nightmares he has. It felt like every time he blinked he was hit with a flash of something he’d seen or had done. He told everyone he didn't’ remember any of it and refused to talk about it and self medicated with liquor like any good hunter.
Well duh, obviously he was a pain in their asses. Two dozen of them had actually gotten together without someone in power telling them what to do to try and take him out. They failed, miserably thanks to the hunter near him right now, but it didn't negate the fact that Izzy was a huge threat to them and their plans. Really though, if the whole fucking lot of them just fucking stopped trying to set Lucifer free Izzy would have no problem leaving them alone. But until that happened…. He had a job to do. What the hell would he do with himself if Asmodeus actually managed to take the crown and this mission was over? He'd actually never thought about that before. Every single memory he had had something to do with him having to keep Lucifer in the cage. 
“Well demons are mostly twisted and tortured souls. You get twisted up so much down there you turn into something else,” he said, rubbing at his brow as he fidgeted a little as he spoke. “At the end of the day they're a spirit, just nastier. You don’t normally catch one running around before they possess someone but the same tricks apply, salt and iron,” he told him, running off a few things off the top of his head, mostly from first hand experience. “I’m sure you know all about devils traps and all that,” he said, waving his hand and finally looking over at the other. It was probably a good thing Dean had been so caught up with that Izzy was looking into that he completely missed the suspicious pronoun.
Izzy couldn't help but roll his eyes at Dean when the man just told him shit he already knew. Was he actually under the impression that someone he thought was a legit demon hunter didn't know that shit already? Also. He was wrong. While holy water did have the same effect on him that it did to most demons, salt and iron actually didn't bother him for some reason. Every single voice in his head was screaming at him to keep his mouth shut for a while, to not get sucked into this conversation. But the thing was… he actually wanted to talk about this shit. He never talked with anyone about shit he actually wanted too. Demons avoided him unless they were trying to kill him, he avoided humans and hunters, and Asmodues pretty much just told him what to do. The little demon didn't actually have any memories of just talking with someone about something he was interested in. And this happened to be the biggest fucking intrest he really had right now.
"See, right there just proves you really have no fucking clue what you're actually dealing with, do you? Obviously being tortured in hell is going to fuck up any soul in some way, but not every soul in hell becomes a demon. This world would be fucked if they did. There are millions and millions of souls in hell." He only just stopped himself from pointing out that despite Dean's own torture and escapades with Alastair he didn't actually turn into a demon. No, a fucking angel actually came and pulled him from the pit. So what the hell was it that made some souls twist the same way he had even though he hadn't gone through that die and be tortured shit and made others just… well, be tortured for all eternity. Or torture as was the case with some. "Yeah, most of them are just nastier twisted spirits, and you don't normally see one walking around without someone else's meat suit… but they can. It's apparently super fucking rare for it to happen, but a human can just wake up a demon somehow. In their own skin and everything. So I want to know what makes the souls that twist that way different from those that don't. What kind of person they must have been. And what happens to those people who turn? How does that happen? But unfortunately, because it's so fucking rare, I haven't been able to find a single book in the last ten years that actually explains that shit." He sighed a little in frustration at the thought before just shaking his head and finishing the rest of his own drink before he turned his back to Dean again to start looking through the books again, waving his own hand in dismissal of the subject. Dean wasn't going to have the answers he wanted obviously. "But yes, of course I know all about devils traps. I just don't use them." He couldn't if he wanted too, not unless he wanted to get stuck inside one himself. Besides, even if he could… with the way he hunted, it would be pretty damn useless and time consuming to try since it was usually a sneak attack/ambush of his own on their own grounds. Wasting time with a devils trap when it was just so much easier to kill them just seemed stupid. "Do you have any sort of order with these books or am I gonna have to look through all of them to find the ones about demons?"
Dean was a little taken back when Izzy said that he had no clue about demons. He felt anger rise up in his belly and his face tightened some. His pride didn’t like that but the built up emotion subsided the more Izzy spoke. He did have a point, if that’s all it took then Hell would be nothing but demons. He never really focused on the fine details, he just killed them. His face became a mix of surprises and doubt when Izzy kept going and told him about the type of demons that keep their bodies. What the hell? He’d never heard of something like that before, what the hell could it be capable of? It was a worrying thought. “This keeps getting better and better,” Dean muttered under his breath. He couldn't stop his brain from thinking about his younger brother on his road trip with his little demon buddy. What if that was Ruby's plan, twist his brother into one of them? He’d fucking gank that bitch before she could try. He wanted to call and check up but that hadn’t gone so well last time. 
He made a small face when Izzy asked about an order to the crazy amount of information. He finished his half glass of whiskey and pushed off of the table, setting the glass down before walking away. “I have a feeling what we’re looking for isn’t in here, come on,” He said, motioning the other to follow him with a head nod. He led the blond down the hall a bit, through another doorway and down some stairs. He pushed one of the two heavy doors open and held it open for the other hunter. “When we started going through the stuff that was left here we found that most of the heavy reading books are in here,” He told him. The room was about 25 by 25 feet, metal shelving lined all the walls filled with books and some jars. There was a decent sized table in the middle of the room under the only light, taking up a good chunk of the free space. 
Dean just nearly kidnapped the little blond he helped out that he knew nothing about other than the fact he could kill demons pretty damn well and brought him to his secret bunker and he thought anything that came out of this idea wouldn't be completely fucked? Hell. He was pretty damn sure that Dean didn't even realize yet that he hadn't stepped in to help a pretty little girl, but actually a boy who just happened to look a lot like one. Add on to that fact that this boy was also one of those freaky ass demons he was just talking about and you could see clearly that this man definitely hadn't thought this through. "You have no idea," Izzy mumbled back, not sure or honestly even caring if Dean heard him. 
Izzy set down the glass still in his hand before he shrugged again and followed Dean through the bunker. Fuck. This place really was huge. Izzy couldn't help but grin a little when he looked into the room. Dark. Enclosed. No way for anyone to try and sneak up on him again. Exactly the kind of rooms he liked and usually worked in when he was looking for a party to crash. "Awesome," he said as he walked in the room. Creepy jars and big old books lining the walls on top of everything else, Izzy had instantly and probably noticeably relaxed more when he was in the room that was so much like a place he would actually want to be in. He didn't say anything else as he started scanning the books on one of the shelves, his eyes widening some when he saw what he instantly felt like he had been looking for for years now. It was smaller than any of the other books in here, but that wasn't surprising considering how little information there probably was at all on demons like him. Humans Turning Demon. 
Izzy grabbed the book off the shelf and took a few steps backwards to push himself up to sit on the table, just remembering that Dean was there as he went to open the book. "Uhm… thanks," he said, forcing himself to remember that he was supposed to be a human and actually used to having someone around and even weirder for him- that someone helping him. "Hey… uh, why are you being so like… nice and normal to me? As far as I've seen, people aren't just nice to strangers. Especially when said stranger is a pretty boy who can shove a knife into a human skull."
Dean noticed the small change in the others' demeanor when he showed them the room. The room didn’t bother him or his brother too much but ‘awesome’ wasn’t the normal reaction to this stuff. Though in this line of work, who’s really normal? You see a lot of weird and horrible shit fast and you pick up a few quirks along the way. He had half turned when  the other called out to him and thanked him, he was going to leave Izzy alone to do their digging. He raised an eyebrow when he was asked why he was being so helpful. He opened his mouth with a grin to say it was just the right thing to do for a lady when Izzy said that last part, his words luckily getting caught up in his throat. BOY!? WHOLY FUCK!! Dean’s back straightened as he looked the other over again. It took him a second or two to catch himself and he cleared his throat out a little. “Well you want demons dead and I want demons dead,” he said with a shrug, his brain still trying to absorb this enlightening new detail about the blond. “And I learned about a new fleshy kind of demon, win win,” Dean chuckled. Hell all of Dean seemed stiff. Right now, he honestly didn’t know what the fuck to do.
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Forbidden || Chapter Three: Fallen and Ball Gown Talk
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"The plan is simple, gate crash their ether extraction party and gets out," Tori explained, pointing to her holographic map.
"Got it," Chloe said, twirling her knife between her fingers.
"That's it?" Isabelle asked, folding her arms as her ghost Hermione materialized by her left shoulder.
"Yes, hopefully," The female Exo Titan muttered.
"That's not reassuring," Hermione commented, floating to the other side of  Isabelle, her pink and purple shell glinting in the sunlight.
"Let's play it safe," Came Chloe's ghost, Moondance.
"Says the ghost whose Guardian's a reckless fool," Tori chuckled.
"You get a little reckless after going through three vanguards, one of them being my dad," Chloe stated, sheathing her knife.
"Touche," The Female Exo said.
Isabelle just rolled her eyes and summoned her sparrow, she just wanted to get this done and over with. Her latest book was waiting for her at home and she left off on a cliffhanger. "Come on girls, less bloody chit chat and more action," She said over her shoulder as she mounted her sparrow. 
"Knowing us, it's gonna be done in under ten minutes, you would think the Vanguard would give us something more, I don't know, challenging?" Chloe elaborated, summoning her sparrow and climbing onto it.
"Exactly, I for one would love to do a harder raid on Venus," Tori chuckled, she too climbing on her sparrow.
The trio zipped off towards the ether extraction. 
The planet this mission was on was Mars. It was mostly run by Cabal, but there were some Fallen here and there, not too much though. That was a good thing. Unlike the Cosmodrome, that place was littered with those scathing pirates. 
When the girls arrived at their destination. They jumped off their sparrows and crouched and crawled to the cliff edge just ahead. They laid on their stomachs. Isabelle got her Shepherd's Watch rifle ready, looking down her sights.
"They're just bloody milling about, for now, the Elinski haven't even started extracting yet," She said, watching the targets carefully.
"How many are there?" Chloe asked, loading ammunition into her hand cannon.
"Not many, about twenty or so," The Warlock answered.
"This is gonna be a walk in the park," Tori commented.
Isabelle chuckled and put her rifle over her shoulder. "If you move now the three of you can eliminate them without any problems," Percy, Tori's ghost, said materializing by Tori's shoulder.
"No reckless mishaps," Came Moondance, making Chloe let out a dry chuckle of her own. 
"Chloe, I'm serious, I'm getting tired of reviving you every five minutes," He said, appearing in front of his guardian, and the trio of females tried to contain their laughter. "I can't make any promises, buddy, but I'll try," The Huntress stated.
"Hermione, you wanna add something?" Isabelle asked as her little light appeared.
"Yes, the Fallen have started extracting ether, better hurry," She said.
The Warlock nodded and the girls moved silently down the cliffside. Isabelle and Chloe grabbed two Dregs from behind and dragged them behind a rock. The Huntress stabbed them for good measure. Isabelle pointed to Chloe and Tori then pointed right, then she pointed to herself and pointed left. The Huntress and Titan nodded went right. The warlock crept around a giant boulder grabbed and fusion grenade and tossing it to the nearest target, just as one of Chloe's swarm grenade landed in the middle of the extraction and started a commotion amongst the Eliksni. Vandals and Marauders put up their guard and started scouting the area.
"On my signal, we jump into action," Tori said over the comms.
"I'm ready when you are," Came Chloe.
"Same here," Isabelle replied, putting bullets into her rifle, "let's just get this over with so I can go home and read."
She watched as Tori jumped out from behind the boulder across the way and created a shield as she started firing her auto rifle. Isabelle got on top of the boulder she was behind and aimed down her sights, killing Dregs and Vandals left and right. She saw Chloe jump out from the corner of her lense, hand cannon blazing and knives everywhere.
When the Captain appeared, all three girls fired at him all at once. Taking him down easily. Lastly, they destroyed the ether extraction device. 
"Ramen on me?" The Huntress offered.
"Sure, why not," Tori obliged.
"But after we report to the Vanguard," Isabelle stated, as the three of them transmitted to the ship.
~~~
Isabelle, Chloe, and Tori walked out of the hanger and to the Hall of Guardians. They had to report back to the Vanguard about the ether extraction the Fallen were trying to do. Isabelle looked at the guardians they passed. Some were talking in small groups, others danced to nothing-in-particular, and some were just getting back from bounties and cashing them in. The trio passed Lord Shaxx, who was manning Crucible matches and looked like he was on his twelfth cup of coffee. Isabelle looked at Eris, who was muttering about Oryx coming back. Finally, the Vanguard was in full view. The Warlock watched as her best friends split off and went to their Vanguards. Chloe to Cayde and Tori to Zavala. Isabelle walked over to Ikora.
"Isabelle, how was the mission?" Ikora asked, looking up from the tablet she held.
"Oh, you know, way too easy, like taking candy from a baby," Isabelle replied.
"Good, I assume you and your fireteam were efficient enough to get the job done?"
"Yes, and yes, Hermione, Moondance, and Percy were the real help," The Awoken female said, mentioning hers and her friends' ghosts.
Ikora smiled, "That's good to hear, there is something I would like to talk to you about if you haven't already heard."
Isabelle furrowed her brows, "What is it? Did I do something. . . wrong?"
"No, no, it's just that Queen Mara Sov has invited the Vanguard and the guardians to a ball," The Warlock Vanguard explained.
"A ball?"
"Yes, but the Prince-- Uldren Sov-- has requested you to accompany him as his plus one."
Isabelle's jaw dropped, her cheeks flooding with warmth. Uldren wanted HER to be HIS plus one? She felt like she was dreaming, like actually dreaming. Hermione must have felt the wave of shock go through Isabelle because she appeared next to her. Isabelle straightened and shook her head. 
"Sorry, that's quite shocking, I thought the Awoken didn't like us, guardians, very well, especially Uldren," She said, her fingers find their way to her hair, tugging at the bubble-gum pink strands nervously.
"Queen Mara wishes to make us allies," Ikora stated, "and I see why do you?"
"Yes, because the enemy is growing ever so slowly and we want to be prepared for a possible attack, which, I guess, is why Mara wants this ball," Isabelle responded, "to extend her allies."
"Very well, my young pupil, I've taught you well," The Warlock Vanguard smiled, "You are dismissed."
Isabelle nodded and headed out of the Hall of Guardians, finding Chloe and Tori outside waiting for her. They were both exchanging a few words when the noticed Isabelle approach.
"Hey, Bookworm, did Ikora tell you about the ball?" Tori asked, her pink optics glowing brightly in the dimly lit Tower Plaza.
"Yes, and something quite shocking," The Warlock replied.
Isabelle could have sworn Chloe's human ears perked up at this, or was that just a hunter thing? But her icy, blue eyes were focused on her hand cannon as she started cleaning it.
"What is it?" The Huntress asked.
"Prince Uldren has asked for me to be his plus one to the ball," Isabelle admitted, her cheeks heating up.
The Huntress' head snapped up and the Titan stared in shock. It was clear that they were not expecting this to come out of Isabelle's mouth. She again started playing with her hair.
"Well, looks like your Prince Charming wants you after all," Chloe smirked, mischief flashing in her eyes.
"I doubt that," Isabelle rolled her eyes and folded her arms.
"Chloe, wipe that shit-eatin' grin off your face!" Tori scolded, her southern accent coming out.
Isabelle laughed at this as the Huntress flipped Tori off. The Exo just rolled her optics, shaking her head lightly, "Real mature, Clo, real mature."
"Anyway, who wants to go down to the city tomorrow and shop for dresses, especially Izzy's," Chloe said.
"Me, what's so special about the dress I'll be wearing?" Isabelle asked, playing with her hair.
"Because you are going with a Prince as a date," The blue-haired female replied, putting her hand cannon in its holster and stowing the cleaning cloth in her pocket, "you need to look outstanding, absolutely gorgeous, but not too much, or else people will think you're trying to outdo their queen."
"Okay, and whom might I ask is gonna be your date, Chloe Faith?" The Warlock inquired, "though I have a bloody feeling I know who it is."
The last part was said under her breath.
"Cayde asked me, he said 'it'd be fun and that ya haven't gone out since Nathen cheated on ya and ya deserve to dance with a real man'," The Huntress just blushed lightly.
Everyone knew Cayde was head over heels for Chloe, even when Andal was still here. Isabelle knew Chloe felt the same way, but she backed off and cut herself from any type of romantic relationship because of how Nathen cheated on her and because her father was killed. But Isabelle was glad Chloe accepted the offer of going with the Hunter Vanguard.
"Anyway, who are you going with Tori?" The Huntress asked.
"I was thinking of maybe asking Amanda," The Exo replied, "just as friends though, I'm not looking for a girlfriend or boyfriend right now."
Tori was bisexual, and when she came out Isabelle happily supported her, along with Chloe. After all their best friends, why wouldn't they support her?
"Chloe, didn't you say something about paying for ramen?" The Warlock asked, changing the subject.
"Yes, now let's go before the shop closes and Cayde gets off duty," The blue-haired female exclaimed, ushering Isabelle and Tori over to the Bazaar.
~~~
The next day Isabelle woke to something nudging her shoulder. "Isabelle, it's time to get up, you told Chloe and Tori you would go shopping for ball gowns today," Hermoine said, still nudging the Awoken woman.
 She opened her eyes and found her ghost floating in front of her. Isabelle turned her head towards the window, early morning light poured through it. "Did I fall asleep reading again?" She asked, sitting up in bed and letting out a yawn.
 "Yes, I put a bookmark in the place where you left off and set the book on your nightstand," The Little Light answered, bobbing up and down whilst twirling in the air.
"Brilliant, what time is it?"
"Just a little past seven."
Isabelle nodded and got out of bed, trudging over to the bathroom where she ditched the white, cotton t-shirt and black shorts she was wearing and jumped into the shower. She let the warm water relax the tense muscles in her body from yesterday. Then she focused and washing her hair, making sure all the knots and tangles came out. Lastly, she washed her body and shaved her legs and underarm.
Getting out of the shower, Isabelle wrapped herself in a fuzzy, pink towel, as well as her hair. She walked over to the sink, brushed her teeth, and did a small amount of makeup. She unwrapped the towel from her hair and proceeded to blow-dry it. After her hair was dry, she ran a brush through it and put it in a side ponytail. Isabelle walked over to her closet and pulled out a light, long sleeve, black, turtle neck crop top, a maroon denim skirt, and a pair of black, knee-high boots. She put on the outfit, along with prescription glasses, and checked her phone.
A text message from Chloe.
Chloe: Meet up at Clara's Cafe before shopping?
Isabelle: What time?
Chloe: 8:30, sound good?
Isabelle: Yes, see you and Tori then.
Isabelle checked the time, 7:58, and put her phone in the pocket of her skirt and left the room. She made her way down the floating steps to the main floor. Chloe gave her enough time to grab a small breakfast consisting of a PopTart and a Honey Crisp Apple. She then grabbed her purse hanging by the apartment door and left, locking it tight, and texting Chloe she was on the way.
Isabelle made her way out of the Tower to the city below. This gave her enough time to get to Clara's Cafe, a popular place among the city's people and the guardians. She entered the small coffee shop and spotted Chloe and Tori at their usual table. Chloe was dressed in a snapback hat that read 'Hunter' across the front, a white crop top that showed off her shoulder to wrist tattoo sleeve, a pair of ripped, faded, skinny jeans, and black converses. Whilst Tori wore a black t-shirt, a red jacket, sweat pants, and a pair of plain sneakers. Isabelle took her seat next to Chloe.
"You look cute, Izzy," The Huntress said, sipping what looked like a green tea macchiato.
"Thanks," Isabelle said, opening her Kindle app on her phone.
A waitress came around and asked for Isabelle's order, which was her norm, a chamomile tea with extra honey. The waitress nodded and went to put the order in. The Warlock continued to read a book on the kindle app as Chloe and Tori talked about raids and what ones they wanted to do for the millionth time over. 
"Isabelle Aubrey Brigham, get off the phone and talk to us," Tori scolded.
Isabelle sighed and turned her phone off, putting it in her purse. "Come on, I was just getting to the good stuff!"
"Good stuff as in a vivid sex scene?" Chloe asked.
"No, not all the books I read have sex scenes in them," Isabelle scoffed, "let's change the topic, how's your sleep schedule, Clo, has it got any better?"
The Huntress' smirk immediately faded, and she looked down at her lap. "No, it hasn't, the nightmares are getting worse," She answered, her tone saddening.
"I'm sorry, Chloe, I wish we could help," Tori said, reaching over the table to put a hand on her friend's shoulder.
Isabelle gave rubbed Chloe's back. If anything more could be said about her best friend, it was that she suffered from nightmares often and had the worst sleeping schedule in history. Isabelle could visibly see the exhaustion on the Huntress' face. The dark circles under her blue eye were quite noticeable.
"One chamomile tea with extra honey," came the voice of the waitress.
"Yes, thank you, darling," Isabelle said, taking her drinking and sipping it lightly.
The waitress left to get the bill.
"You know, talking about my sleep schedule isn't important right now, finding our dresses for the ball is," Chloe stated, going back to her usual cocky self.
"Right, the ball," Isabelle muttered.
She still couldn't believe she was Uldren's date. It made her nervous and not many things made her nervous. But Uldren was royalty, a real prince, and Isabelle? She wasn't even royalty. Far from it actually, she was just a guardian. Just a normal, everyday guardian who loved the company of books more than anything else.
A few short minutes later, Tori ended up paying the bill and the girls left the cafe. They walked around the city streets trying to find a good dress shop. "I really hope I have enough bloody glimmer for this," Isabelle said as the trio entered an expensive-looking dress emporium.
"Welcome to L'amour De La Rose Dress Emporium," A silver and blue female Exo with a French accent said, "My name is Aimee-9, what can I help you with?"
Chloe stepped forward and smiled kindly, "My friends and I are looking gowns for a ball next week."
"What kind of gowns are you three looking for?" Aimee asked.
"I'm looking for something simple and elegant, in the color silver," Tori replied.
"I want a dress that's nothing flashy and doesn't draw attention to me, but elegant and enough for a Hunter Vanguard to drool," Chloe stated. 
Isabelle looked around. She didn't know what she wanted.  
"Miss, what would you like?" The silver and blue Exo asked.
The warlock opened her mouth to speak, but Chloe beat her to it, "She'll have one that's absolutely stunning and will have Prince Uldren begging for more!"
"Chloe, can you bloody shut it!" Isabelle spat, then took a deep breath, "I would like something elegant too, something lacy with a beautiful floral pattern and pink."
"Very well, I'll get some dresses you could choose from, please follow me," Aimee said, leading the girls to the fitting rooms.
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wyvernspirit · 5 years
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I wanna ask fellow non cis people a question
How good did it feel when you got out of the inital big self doubt? When you were past I'm making too big a deal out of this but maybe I'm not making a big enough deal and that means I'm wrong. Asking people to use these pronoun(s) is inconvient and would frustrated them I shouldn't say anything. Oh god what if asking for people to use these pronoun(s) makes them angry!?? Maybe I should stay quite. Well I don't feel exactly like that _________ (insert other non cis person) so am I just a cis making stuff up?
When you were past all that and you finally felt comfortable with your pronoun(s) and asking people to refer to you with it(them) (yes dysphoria can still exist along with self doubt because they're both bitches who you want gone but hang around anyway) confidently.
How good did it feel?
Cause for me
Well it feels pretty damn good.
I could end this post here and if you want to stop here and not read another big wall of text you can I'm not gonna stop you but I wanna talk just little more.
The easiest way to explain my thought process I guess would be to show you.
First a text from when I was just figuring things out and managed to work up the nerve to ask if we could have multiple pronoun roles on a server I'm in
We can have multiple gender roles right?
(Took me a solid 5 minuets to type that out and not backtrack and erase it)
Idk its just for a while on a server people called me they/them cause they didnt know my gender
im looking more into it
but yeah
I really felt the need to explain why I was asking
Vs Now asking for two gender roles
Can I have two? I have two pronouns I refer to
I don't mind since I primarily use one
But
She/her and They/them
Whereas this just explained I was okay with primary use of she/her
Most of the time there's an option in servers to have an intro so I throw it in their
Example
Wyv
She/her, they/them
Content creator (Ao3)
Yellow colour role please!
So second some texts from when I had figured out what I identified with but was still very hesitant bringing up even online
I like that you added demigirl cause sometimes that dosnet feel like something valid to label myself as
Like sure just because I have no attachment to my boobs and would prefer them gone
Or that I don't really mind if people don't automatically assume I'm a girl
Like that's just me being stupid
And a another bit
It's not something I typically bring up in conversations either
My pride group knows
My closest friends know
My girlfriend knows
(And you and the server know but y'all aren't here in real life so while I love you I'm not counting this for you right now.)
Thats under 10 people, such a small number.
I don't really feel the need to bring it up because it's like hey I like the pronouns they/ them but their not the only ones I use and she/her is just easier for everyone. Theirs no need to trouble them with more pronouns when I respond just fine to she/her.
Vs Now when asked about pronouns and about being a demigirl
whats demigirl?
Can you explain that pls?
Demigirl is identifying as a girl but also not?
You could be a demigirl who also occasionally identifies male or you could occasionally identify as nothing or it could mean your good with 2 sets of pronouns or maybe you identify as both female and male or female and non binary all the time.
Im personally good with two sets of pronouns and identify primarily as female but also as something else
She/her and they/them are my pronouns
I also have no attachments up top
And wouldn't care if they were gone
It feels good. I'm happy. While I'm not sharing everything and maybe it's not a long 20 page blog of how I was feeling and how I came to this conclusion I still think this sums up the past few months pretty well.
I'm Wyvern a proud bisexual with a preference for woman who's currently in a relationship with a girl I love very much
I'm also a demigirl and response to both she/her and they/them
Have a good day everyone! <3
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Conversation
I was laying in bed thinking of something and this made me laugh  for like a split second, then I got mad and then I started crying a little because, I imagined that I was a lecturer and I had to teach a group of Baby Swen about why their new fandom home was the way it was.
Me: Hello Babies, Mommy's back!
Student in the back: Sweet! Evil Queen references.. Umm, professor, I have a question.
Me: Yes?
Student: Why are our fandom grandmothers, mothers and aunts against Eddie and Adam writing Swan Queen?
Me, sighing gently: Darling, we're not against them writing it, but we have our reservations on the way they ARE writing it and most likely would attempt to write it.
Student in the back seems confused. Pauses slightly before nodding. I write down a topic that blankets the class discussion. "Swan Queen". BABY SWENS WHISPER AND SNICKER WITH EXCITEMENT, but I sigh once again. Someone notices
Student: Professor?
Me: Yes?
Student: What's the matter?
Me, slightly conflicted to do said discussion, but I feel it is needed.
Me: The issue the fandom is facing my dear younglings has to do with an ever running war on Tropes, Tokenism, Sexism and just all around 'fandom fuckery' as we've coined it. Some of you- rather, most of you may be familiar with how savagely Swen are dogged for wanting something that represents this current day and age. Be it a fairy tale that's never been told, or simple recognition in a way that does not make us feel as though we've been given a half-assed story that's tossed after it's done what writers and show runners believe it's supposed to...no-no, Your home- THIS home is a home that has to fight for the equality so that the younger generation may reap the benefits of the fight. Now, this may sound tragic- or seem catty, but I assure you, Swen are not known to be such. We like to leave that to...what was that other group's name, again?
Student with all the smart ass comments whom I adore: Crap tainted Swan!
Me: Yes, them.
I begin to write down a few categories and immediately hands go up.
Student: Professor, what exactly do you mean when you say- they will fuck it up?
Me: Precisely what I wrote. The Swan Queen fandom is not fond of being lied to, deceived or played for fools my young one. We know as well as anyone that 'pushing' is a thing for two overly hetero-normative men who run to Captain Swan with open arms and away from Swan Queen with eyes shut and ears deafened, will somehow manage to mess up a perfectly good story to tell.
Student somewhere in the corner: And when you say they'll make it more difficult- what does that mean?
Me: It means that Our ladies are difficult apart- NOT together and yet the writers seem to bring that as some valid way to deter the pairing. They believe by forcing these characters to appear as though they'd be difficult together would make it hard for them to have a lasting relationship. Trying to deter someone by creating this aura that they simply can't be around one another long enough before they become snarky and catty for all the wrong reasons is absolute bull. If anything- we have proof of countless times they have preferred to be with one another simply because it was obvious of the safety they felt. The care and concern they felt.
Student: Oh, so you mean like- Regina's stubborn and sassy and sarcastic when she and Emma are apart and when they work together, she's still sassy and sarcastic it's just in reference to everyone else and not Emma... it's like they're trying to make you think that Regina can't stand being around Emma when the only time we see the real Regina is when she's with Emma-or Henry-
Me, highly impressed: -exactly!
Another student in the front raises their hand: So, that ties into your next point of it being predictable doesn't it?
Me: It does. Have you all seen the consistent template that's written for a queer character?
They all nod and someone with a good bit of brains stands up to go on a miniature rant.
Student: Yeah, I have and it sucks. There's always the one gay character- (he manages to say with an eye roll.) But then there's all these other 'templates' that are stereotypical. Like if they do marry Emma off to Hook and she magically realizes she doesn't love him or that she's gay, they use Regina and it becomes that thing where the lesbian or in Regina's case- the bisexual, quote on quote 'turns' the straight housewife and she realizes she never needed a man; just some good love.. Or one of them dies- or in their case, both of them apparently.. isn't that what was happening in season six?
Someone whispers, Lexa deserved better and puts up a fist. Other students nod at the other baby Swen and agree.
Student who laughs sarcastically all the time: Or how about this one, She realizes she's not gay either after a bunch of passionate nights with Regina and then she goes back to.. the one handed wonder.. God, don't let her get pregnant-
Other Student yells in pain: -DEAR GOD, PLEASE DON'T GIVE ME IMAGES OF ANOTHER WHINY VERSION OF HOOK! But let's not forget the ones who argue all the time and can't keep a stable relationship and are secretive and all that other junk the L Word made beyond obvious.And if that's not bad enough, they both get beards and are tortured for seasons with men they have no chemistry with and these are women who have chemistry with brick walls and can't even make that shit work-
Me: -Alright.. alright, focus. Yes, these are the templates I'm referring to. But let us not forget the ones that gay male characters also go through.
Someone snorts because they only have one template for gay males.
Student: You mean they're difficult and mysterious and cute little twinks who get thrown with other cute twinks or big buff guys with daddy issues and bam- magical ending?
Me: Correct..moving on.. The third points says-
I'm interrupted as they all say it together
Students: Tokenism!
Me: This is just the TV way of saying affirmative action.. Fanciful in meaning isn't it?
Student: It's trash!
Me: Yes, I do suppose it is... however, would someone like to express why the word tokenism still would apply to Swan Queen?
Hands immediately go up.
Student: Well, if we're being honest here, We already got it once before and we don't even know what the deal is with that story anymore...Swen fears that tokenism can still be a thing for Swan Queen because Eddie and Adam only attempt Swan Mills episodes when their ratings drop and as that becomes a case, so does the question of will they just do Swan Queen to stay on the air and never explore it the way they should... We've been hearing of season seven being the final season and our worry is no longer that they will fuck it up. Quite frankly we don't even want them to write it anymore, we'll take it off their hands and make our own show out of it. The problem arises when they create the asinine plan to use it as a last minute crutch to 'go out with a bang' or something. Like, What if this season completely tanks it and season seven is in fact the last season,right? They get the plan, Hmm maybe we should do Swan Queen in the last episode and that'll justify all of the crap we've put these people through, just to say they did something some grande and amazing thing for us, when in reality, they were trying to save their shitty revenue.
Student directly adjacent: Can I add on to that?
Other student nods.
Student: It really is sad though when we were willing to settle for anything- any sort of thing, just to know we were being heard no matter how much we fought- no matter how much our fandom grandmothers have fought. I think deep down, a lot of us know they just won't do it, like they really won't and even if they do, the luxury of it has just faded. The luxury of it would have faded and they'll try to force it to be overly gooey and 'loving' or cutesy when that's not what we asked for. We asked for a story that was true to life and very much so a proper representation for us all. We asked for a story that proved that strong women can work together and fall in love with one another. That they go through ups and downs and doubts and sticking things out and believing in one another and all of the other good things we've seen.... If we get it, if we are blessed enough to have Swan Queen- We'll be happy, but we'll be tired. We'll be exhausted and still disappointed that it had to come to this for us to be heard... I don't think we'll ever be as happy as we were the first day in season one when they met, if only because of the pain and heartbreak and the amount of horrible things that have been said to us just seems to, hit too many nails in our coffins. The fight will never be over, and we have accepted that, but I think everyone's getting tired of having to fight for something that shouldn't even be in question... and it's not to say we've lost our drive or we're losing hope. We're just done with trying to tell men who clearly don't understand that this is a revolution that needs to happen. This is a change that needs to be seen.. we're done trying to prove something we have too much evidence for to still be called delusional and reaching and all those other things. Everyone's tired of watching some forced 'chemistry' dictate how women should be treated and seen in this world. We're tired of seeing people be criminalized and denied a second chance at a love that won't leave or die on them i.e Regina.. We're done and we are tired of feeling like what we watch is what it will always be- nothing but a dream, an illusion... A fucking fairytale.
Silence encompasses the room and everyone thinks on it. (I legit cried when I thought about this part, so I'm sorry)
Me: We are tired, young ones.. we are, but we fight for us and we fight for you until it's over. We march for us and we march for you until we die and you are right, we have not lost hope.. we've just lost that many damns to give on speaking to a group of people who choose not to understand.... And maybe it is true, maybe we truly won't be fulfilled even if they do give us what we asked for.. what we've pleaded for.. and maybe it will make it all seem like it was in vain and maybe we will feel like we've accomplished nothing because we had to force hand for them to cave or pressure them... your grandmothers, mothers and aunts for this fandom realized many things.. we will not force anyone to give us anything. We will peacefully protest the injustice, but if we are not given what we rightly deserve.... we move on from trying with them and you know what we do? We make a world of our own. Eddie and Adam didn't give Swan Queen life... we did, and you did. They didn't see what we saw. They didn't understand it and they clearly didn't want any part of it, but the dream lives on. The reality lives on- the world keep spinning and life goes on and guess what, so will the memory of Swan Queen....Now I need you all to say this last point with me..together we will do this..
Even if nothing happens. Even if your words fall on deaf ears to some, remember the many that you have made hear you. Remember the many who sat with you and held your hands and kept you together...when things fall away and the glamour goes goodbye, remember your reality, your worth and yourself in all of this- Remember YOUR fight.. Through all things, every hard moment and every distressing situation.. for every negative message- comes ten thousand positive soldiers. Fight on and keep hope..
When you open your mouth and words come out and you say "May I have your attention please?" Remember that those who listen are those who wish to hear.... Remember that your fight is a plea to be heard and someone will listen.. remember that actions and words are one and you fuel them. Remember that when the world around you dies- you are to flourish and bring light back to it... remember that you fight for you just as you fight for me and I do the same... remember from now until the end of time that you've done your part in this world and if it never happens... still, keep hope, because maybe, just maybe...one day it will
With Love, Megan
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