On the top of a ridge overlooking a vast open landscape, two vaguely cat-shaped figures sat.
The lighter-colored being gave a nervous chuckle, then asked, "Sorry, what was that?"
The tortoiseshell turned, the last remnants of the snakelike scales surrounding his yellow slitted eyes melting away to be replaced with russet fur. "I said, 'Well, that spoiled like a pile of crow-food.'" He repeated.
The cream-colored cat nodded. "Ah- yes, yes, it did, rather." He said, glancing away again and toward the two outlines in the distance, growing smaller by the minute.
"Bit of an overreaction if you ask me," the tortoiseshell contemplated aloud as the white-and-cream figure shifted his weight awkwardly from one paw to the other. "First offence and everything. I-" the yellow-eyed being stopped for a moment, then continued slowly, "I can't see what's so bad about hunting a mouse anyway."
"Well it must be bad..." the blue-eyed one began, then trailed off upon realizing he wasn't entirely sure of the other being's name.
"Cobra," the tortoishell said with a nod. He'd only recently chosen that name, but wasn't sure it entirely suited him.
"Cobra," the lighter cat continued after the clarification, "otherwise... you wouldn't have tempted them into it." He glanced away.
Cobra grimaced, replying, "Oh, they just said, 'Get up there and make some trouble.'" He wasn't entirely certain that the earth was, in terms of actual space, technically up from the Dark Forest, but it hadn't exactly gone well for him the last time he attempted to correct a higher authority, and he'd suspected it was wiser not to risk it a second time.
"Well, obviously. You're a Dark Forest warrior." The pale figure said with a sideways glance. "It's what you do."
Cobra decided it would be best to ignore that remark and instead stated, "Not very subtle of StarClan though. Your leader, I mean," he clarified. "Letting the creature run about and telling them not to touch it. I mean, if She really didn't want it to end up eaten, why not put it on top of a high mountain? Or on the moon?" He snorted. After that comment prompted no response from the fluffy being, he murmured, "Makes you wonder what StarClan's Leader's really planning."
"Best not to speculate," the other cat chimed in worriedly. "It's all part of Her plan. It's not for us to understand." With a glance in Cobra's direction, he added, "It's ineffable."
The tortoiseshell scrunched his brows. "Her plan's ineffable?" He asked with a frown.
"Exactly," the fluffier creature said with a flick of his ear. "It is beyond understanding and incapable of being put into words." He said, not noticing the way Cobra appeared to be inspecting him until the tortoiseshell made an observation that caused the pale cat to shrink back a bit.
"Didn't you have a flaming stick?"
"Er..." the lighter cat glanced away nervously.
"You did, it was flaming like anything! What happened to it?"
"Uh..." the pale one seemed incapable of forming anything other than one-syllable utterances, something the calico was beginning to find amusing.
"Lost it already, have you?" He asked with a raised brow.
"Gave it away," the light-colored one said in what was barely louder than a whisper.
"You what?" Cobra asked, yellow eyes widened and a hint of a smile playing on the edges of his mouth.
"I gave it away!" The cream one repeated with agitation. "There are vicious animals. It's going to be cold out there, and she's expecting already, and I said, 'Here you go, flaming stick. Don't thank me. And don't let the sun go down on you here.'" After a moment of watching the figures in the distance, he added worriedly, "I do hope I didn't do the wrong thing..."
The calico frowned. "Oh, you're a StarClan cat. I don't think you can do the wrong thing."
The paler cat's shoulders slumped with relief. "Oh- oh, thank you. It's been bothering me," he sighed, eyes suddenly darting to the figures in the distance, one with a flaming stick held in his jaw which he appeared to be threatening a wolf with.
"I've been worrying, too." Cobra said as he stared into the distance as the scene unfolded. "What if I did the right thing, with the whole 'catch the mouse business'? A Dark Forest warrior can get into a lot of trouble for doing the right thing..." he trailed off, glancing at the cream cat and stretching out a pair of dark wings from his body, wings which appeared to be made from pure shadow. As he did so, one of the cats in the distance stabbed the wolf through the throat with the flaming stick. The cream cat winced. "It'd be funny if we both got it wrong, eh?" The calico asked with a small smile. "If I did the good thing and you did the bad one."
They both chuckled, but the pale cat's laugh quickly turned and he pinned his ears back, quickly saying, "No! It wouldn't be funny at all!"
"Well..." Cobra murmured, looking away again. Suddenly, he felt a droplet of water hit the fur on his muzzle. As he began to look up, the cream cat sprouted wings made from starlight and stretched one above the darker one's head. They both sat in silence and stared at the figures in the distance growing ever smaller.
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Okay but consider tough… Vampire au Sanuso where Sanji mistakes a bat for Usopp until Usopp comes into the door and Sanji feels extremly stupid. But he keeps the bat around as a little pet anyways and it seems to absolutely HATE Usopp. Like, full on trying to attack him all the time. Sanji promises a pouting Usopp that it’s just overprotective, it’s Apperantly wounded and he was the first one to find it. Usopp just glares at the thing and says something along the lines of „We should throw that disgusting vermin off the ship right now.“
Sanjis expression must have been one of pure terror, because as soon as Usopp sees it he backpedals, says he had a long day and he’s tired and hungry, of course Sanji can keep it if he wants to, he should probably head to sleep anyways. See you tomorrow. And Sanji guesses he really must have been tired, that cold and cruel expression on his face was very unlike the crewmate he has grown so fond of…
In hindsight he supposes this should have been his first clue that something was terribly wrong.
In the Next two weeks the crew starts feeling fainter and fainter and more sickly. Chopper expects it to be some sort of Virus going around but he can’t find any diseases that match the symptoms. Everyone is on edge but Sanji keeps noticing that Usopp… doesn’t act like himself anymore. He rarely joins them at the dinner table and he seems to even forget to take his usual blood dose from Choppers stack unless their doctor explicitly reminds him to. He seems colder to everyone as well. Unhelpful. Meanspirited. Nami worries about Zoro being sick and he basically tells her to stop worrying so much because it’s annoying. Robin mentions reading something in a book about other mythical creatures in the area and he disregards her completly. Her book mysteriously vanishes the next day. Luffy gets so sick he’s out of comissiob for a few days and his reaction is basically non existent. Franky pulls Sanji aside nervously to confess he saw something strange at night and went to tell Usopp, since it hung around his workshop and Usopp didn’t really react at all „Don’t worry about it.“ he said, not even looking up. „Your mind is probably playing tricks on you.“ and Sanji slowly begins to realize that his new pet seems to only hate Usopp this much. That it seems downright protective of all the other strawhats. That it’s a very smart animal, but even smart animals usually don’t look at you like this and you feel like they understand every single word you say. And Sanji realizes that something , SOMETHING is terribly wrong with what he thought of as Usopps until a few days ago.
Tldr: Shapeshifting and probably soulsucking creature wounds Usopp so much he has to stay in bat form (or maybe he gets cursed?) and Batsopp has been desperately trying to warn his crew that someone has taken his place and is planning to drain their life’s out one by one… and also is now realizing that „HOLY COW SANJI LIKES ME TOO? WISH I FOUND THAT OUT UNDER DIFFERENT CIRCUMSTANCES BUT WOW?!!“
ANON THIS IS PURE GOLD OH MY GOD??
The fact that he hears Sanji confess his feelings while he's just hanging out in the galley, probably trying to think up a plan to get Sanji to understand him, is so fucking funny.
Usopp, thinking: Okay, maybe I can grab some paper and write out a message-
Sanji, cooking behind him: You know it's a shame you don't like Usopp; he's a wonderful guy.
Usopp, squeaking to himself: Yeah, I am, but that thing's not me!
Sanji, laughing: Oh don't be like that, he really is great. There's a reason I fell in love with him after all.
Usopp:
Usopp, in much higher pitched squeaking: you fell in WHAT
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