#ok so it does contain A Vegetable

[upmala]

ok, this is a post i actually want to get popular - what are the traditional/regional/national dishes that are available premade at the grocery store where you live? (preserved versions don't count, it has to be found in the deli area) reply or reblog with your country/state and the dishes!

[thebearer]

love, i found you |carmen berzatto x reader|

prompt: how anchovy berzatto came into your and carmen's lives. or the story of anchovy berzatto, dumpster kitten turned spoiled cat.

contains: mentions of animal being abandoned/ stray kitten. small, malnourished anchovy but nothing graphic (i won't do that to you i promise). mainly fluff. language. richie being a hater a little lol.

word count: 2.9k+

“Chefs, keep the stations clear-” 

“-Has anyone seen Richie?-” 

“-Jeff, I need more branzino for the seven fishes-” 

“-Heard, Tina. There, uh, I think there’s some-” 

“-Carm, have you seen the books for tonight?-” 

“-Has anyone seen Richie? Richie! Where the fuck is he?” 

A chaotic melody of screams meshed together in some kind of disarray of harmony, one speaking over the other, the sound of pots and pans clashing, hisses of sizzling food in them a backtrack to the madness. 

“I’m right here, Sugar.” Richie scoffed, buttoning the front of his jacket. He patted your shoulder in passing, cheek pressing lightly to yours, muttering, “How’re you, sweetheart? Doin’ good?” In passing. 

He was the first to notice you, even over Carmen. The rest of the staff bustling through the kitchen prep, trying to squeeze everything in before the family meal. Carmen had invited you to family, but you were starting to regret agreeing, feeling useless and in the way in the face of the hectic nature. 

“Where have you been?” Sugar huffed at Richie, heels clacking in a stomp towards the office. “I have a million fucking things- oh, hey.” She paused, eyes lighting in a greeting when they landed on you. 

“I didn’t know you were here. How are you?” Sugar hugged you, a soft side hug in greeting that you returned stiffly. 

“I’m good. How are you?” You muttered, eyes still scanning the kitchen. 

Sugar let out a dry laugh, pressing a hand to her forehead. “Ask me in about an hour.” She shook her head. “I have a million fucking things to do as I was telling Richie.” She turned, eyes narrowing pointedly at the man. “Only two dishwashers showed up tonight.” 

“You’re shitting me.” Richie groaned. “That fuckin’ jagoff- take a chance on me, bullshit.” 

“Yeah, so Neil needs to wash utensils tonight between the floor, ok?” Sugar jabbed a manicured nail into her clipboard. 

“Is there anything I can do?” You squeaked, much smaller than you meant it to. Richie and Sugar turned to you, both blinking, like they’d forgotten you were even there. “Carm invited me to family, but I can help. I can wash dishes if you need me too. I don’t have anything else to do.” 

“That would be-” Sugar nodded in a sigh, a small smile spreading across her face. “Did I ever tell you I love you? Seriously.” She turned to Carm, who was passing behind her. “Carm, don’t ever fuck this up with her, you hear me? I’ll kill you.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” Carmen muttered, and you knew by the drone in his voice he wasn’t listening, too consumed with other things, discarding vegetable scraps into the trash. 

“This thing is fuckin’ full. Can they not- Oh, hey.” Carmen’s features softened at the sight of you, spine straightening gently. “When’d you get here?” 

“Just a few minutes ago.” You leaned forward, his lips brushing your cheek softly in greeting. “I didn’t want to disrupt. You seemed… busy.” 

Carmen snorted. “Yeah, uh, that’s a word for it. Busy, out of my fuckin’ mind because this trash is fuckin’ full!” He boomed at no one in particular. 

“Now, I gotta take this out and replace it, and that puts us back, and every second counts, does it not, cousin?” Carmen rambled, glaring at Richie, yanking the sides of the trashcan off the rim. 

“Look, I didn’t know that the two didn’t show-” 

“-No, of course you didn’t. Can’t pay attention to shit-” 

“-Alright, let’s bring it down.” Sugar lifted her hands, eyeing Carmen with a slight nod of her head towards you. 

“Sorry.” Carmen muttered, eyes lifting to you. “Sorry, cousin. I-I’m just, we’re fuckin’ booked, an-and I’m so far behind-” 

“-I’ll take it.” You squeaked, a little too eagerly. Carmen’s brows furrowed, you cut him off before he could finish. “No, seriously, you’re all busy. I’ll go take this out and then I’ll help make sure the utensils are ready.” 

“N-No, I can’t ask you to do that. That would be shitty.” Carmen shook his head, pulling the trash bag out of the can. 

“Good thing you didn’t ask me. I offered.” Your hand wrapped over his, squeezing his closed fist gently with a tiny grin. “Go, I got it.” 

Carmen beamed, cheeks tinging pink. If he wouldn’t have been in the middle of the kitchen prep rush, he would’ve kissed you, pressed you right up against the wall and smooched you sloppy. Instead, he let you take the trash. 

“Gary!” Richie called behind you. “Make sure you let her back in, alright? Just knock and he’ll let you back in. You’re a fucking life saver, y’know that?” Richie beamed, pushing the heavy steel door open so you could duck under his arm. 

It was surprisingly warm- well, warm-ish for Chicago in the winter. No snow, no need for a heavy jacket but brisk enough for a chill. The dumpster lid was already flipped over, and you were thankful for that, slinging the bag over the edge, turning to go back inside. 

You stopped, halting just as you’d turned. The tiniest squeak of a cry, desperate and alert. You turned scanning the alley walls, the corners by the dumpster until you heard it again, that same pitiful whimper echoing off the metal of the dumpster- inside the dumpster. 

You hesitated for a moment. You couldn’t leave it, whatever it was, it sounded pathetic and in pain. Your eyes flickered back to the building, you could see Gary in the small window, head turned towards the others. They were so busy, you couldn’t ask Carmen or even Fak. 

“I’ll be right back.” You cooed towards the dumpster frantically. “Just hold tight for me, ok? I’ll get you out, one sec.” It was silly, but you felt the need to say it, even if just for yourself. 

Sprinting towards the door, you knocked on the glass rapidly. Gary pushed it open. “I need your help.” You stopped him before he could walk away. “J-Just for a second. I promise.” 

Gary’s brows furrowed. “Yeah, are you- you’re ok?” 

“Yeah, I mean,” You turned towards the dumpster. “There’s something in there. I think it’s a cat? I think it’s hurt.” 

“A cat?” Gary’s eyes widened, still, he followed your furious pace towards the dumpster. “Wait, I-I don’t think- Lemme get Carm-” 

“-No, he’s busy.” You shook your head. “It will just take me a second. I just need you to help me get down.” 

Gary paused, watching you in complete awe- maybe horror- push off a discarded crate towards the ledge of the dumpster. “This is- no, this is fuckin’ crazy, I’m sorry. You don’t know what that thing has-” 

Your small gasp cut him off, eyes rounding in awe. There in the piles of trash, a fuzzy blip of orange fur nestled into the black bags- a tiny, scraggly kitten, mewling helplessly. 

“Oh my God,” You muttered. “It’s a baby.” 

“A baby?” Gary gawked. 

“A kitten baby.” You corrected, lip jutting. “I have to get it.” 

“I really don’t think you should be doin’ this.” Gary looked back at the door then to you. “You can’t go in the dumpster, c’mon.” 

“You want to go in instead?” You huffed, eyes rolling at his disgusted snarl. “Just- I’ll do it.” You leaned to the side, taking a deep breath of fresh air, swallowing down a gag at the expected smell. 

Holding your breath, you let yourself fall into the dumpster, the squishy bags of trash uneasy under your feet. The small kitten whined, crying at the shift of your weight. 

“This is fuckin’ insane.” Gary muttered, shaking his head. 

“Aye, Sweeps, what the fuck?” Richie’s voice boomed, the slam of the door making both of you jump. “Take your smoke break later, you jagoff, I need your-” 

“-I’m not-” Gary huffed in annoyance. “She’s in the dumpster.” 

“Who?” Richie asked. 

“Me!” You swallowed a retch, the pungent stench of the trash filling your senses as you crouched closer towards the kitten. At least it wasn’t summer. 

“Why the fuck is Carmen’s girl in the dumpster?” Richie roared. “Carmen! Get out here now, cousin!” 

“Why is she in the dumpster? Why the fuck are you in the dumpster?” Richie’s furious stomps were muted from the outside. You cringed, still trying to hold your breath, coaxing the small kitten into your hold. 

The poor thing, so small- so fucking small. Shaking in your hold, crying and whining, but turned into the warmth of your palm. A cry bubbled from your chest, mixing with a gag at the smell. 

“Cousin, what? What the fuck is-” Carmen bounded outside, stopping when he saw the top of your head pop up, out of the dumpster. “The fuck?” 

“Your girl’s in the garbage.” Richie shook his head. 

“Yeah, why the fuck- Baby, w-why are you- What are you doin’?” Carmen jogged towards you, hoisting himself over the side of the dumpster, arm extended for you. 

“She found a cat.” Gary rolled his eyes in annoyance. 

“A cat?” Richie repeated. 

“A kitten.” You showed Carmen, pulling the small thing from your chest, where you cradled him close to you. 

Carmen blinked at you. “You went in the dumpster f-for a cat? A cat?” He shook his head, confused. “Baby, that thing could have diseases a-and rabies and shit-” 

“-He’s starving.” You countered, lip jutting in a firm pout. Carmen hated the way he could feel himself melting. The determination in your glare, ferocious yet soft. 

“I could hear him crying, a-and I couldn’t leave him.” You shook your head, petting the tiny kitten’s soft fur. 

“So you climbed in the trash?” Richie snarled in disgust. 

“Climbed right in the dumpster.” Gary nodded. 

“Alright.” Carmen looked over his shoulder at them, a pointed glare on his face. “Just- Lemme get you outta there, alright?” 

“Here,” You handed him the small cat, carefully cradling him. Carmen hesitated, a grimace in his scowl. Your eyes narrowed at him, a warning. “Hold him gently.” 

So he did, of course he did, it’s what you wanted. Passing him to Richie with the same snarl of instructions, pulling you out of the dumpster, a firm hold on your waist as you climbed back over. 

Richie was passing you the kitten with a grimace of disgust, dusting his hands off dramatically. “There. There’s your garbage cat that can not come back in the restaurant. Cousin,” He glared at Carmen. “We don’t want another fuckin’ C. Get shut down for havin’ fleas or shit.” 

Carmen glared at him. “No, he’s right.” You nodded. “Can you bring me my purse? I’m going to see if I can get him checked out. I’ll be back.” 

“Let me come with you.” Carmen offered, motioning for Gary to go get your things, untying his blue apron. 

“Carm, no. You’re busy. I can do it.” You shook your head. 

Carmen rolled his eyes. “No, I’m comin’ with you. Last time I let you do somethin’ alone. End up in the fuckin’ garbage.” He snorted playfully. “Besides, I think there’s a place down the street. The vet has been in a few times. I’ll see if I can, y’know, coerce him to squeeze us in.” 

“Coerce?” You lifted your brows playfully, petting the tiny kitten gently, trying to still his quivering. 

“Yeah, coerce.” Carmen rolled his eyes, swapping his apron out for his jacket, handing you yours. “Give ‘im a free dinner or somethin’.” 

“No fuckin’ way, no.” Richie shook his head. “Cousin, you’re already late- Sydney is pissed, and you’re not bringing that fuckin’ flea bag in here.” 

You held the small cat close to your chest, still damp from his bath at the vet. Carmen’s coercing had worked, Dr. Vallenti had took the bribe happily, squeezing you both in for a check up. The tiny kitten, barely two pounds, malnourished and positively pitiful. You didn’t even have to ask, Carmen knew from the way you held him close to your chest, eyes rounding just barely when the vet asked if you’d be keeping him. 

“Of course,” Carmen nodded easily, squeezing your knee gently. “Just give him whatever he needs for right now, and what we need t’get. We’ll get it.” 

“He doesn’t have fleas, Richie.” You sneered, cradling the small cat in your jacket to keep him warm. His shake was down to a soft tremble, not as constant but still there. 

“Yeah fuckin’ right, rabies then-” 

“-Cousin.” Carmen sneered. Richie stopped with a huff, throwing his arms up and muttering something as he stormed away. 

“Here,” Carmen muttered, a hand on the small of your spine, pushing you into his office. “I’ll grab you a bowl and a plate for his food, alright? You just, just stay in here, ok? Richie’s right, he can’t be out.” 

“I’ll keep him in here.” You nodded, sitting in the small chair. “Do you have a towel?” 

“Yeah, I’ll grab that too.” Carmen slung his jacket off, running a hand through his messy curls. “I, uh, I gotta get scrubbed up and put my stuff on, but if you need anything just yell, alright?” He ducked out to the small closet, snatching a towel and two dishes off the drying rack. 

“I’ll be alright.” You hummed, fingertip tracing down the kitten’s tiny head. He purred under your touch, made your chest burst with warmth. 

Carmen’s lips pulled in a smile, putting the dishes on the ground for you, shedding his own shirt. You were entirely enamored with the cat, that was for sure, not even a sideways, ogling glance at Carmen’s shirtless figure. 

“Shit.” Your head snapped up, wide eyed at Carmen. “I forgot the dishes. I-I’m so sorry, I can-” 

“-It’s alright, baby.” Carmen dropped his pants, biting back a smirk at how your eyes did drop this time. “Tina got her son and his friend to come in. We’re good, baby.” 

“Oh.” You nodded, eyes lingering on his boxer clad ass, before back to the kitten. “Good.” 

Carmen shrugged on his chef’s coat, walking over to you. “It’ll be kinda a late night.” His eyes softened in apology. “I’ll have someone run you a plate when we get outta the weeds, alright?” 

“Thank you.” You muttered, head tilting back for a kiss. Carmen obliged, your lips pulling him in for a longer kiss than he expected, sweet- left his body burning with heat. “Thank you.” You repeated, eyes shining sweetly. 

“C’mon.” Carmen whispered gently, shaking his head at you. “You know I would do anythin’.” He pressed a kiss to your head, looking down at the small kitten before he left. 

“I think he likes it?” You whispered, on your stomach next to Carmen. 

It was nearly two in the morning, the two of you just returning back to the brownstone you called home. Lying on the freshly laid tile of the kitchen, you watched the small cat explore the space. 

“Yeah, think he’s gettin’ used to it.” Carmen muttered, shaking the small stick so the feather danced over the kitten, grinning when he’d scrunch and bat at it clumsily. 

You pressed your head into your hand, watching the kitten prowl, ears finally perked up instead of flat back in fear. “We have to name him.” You blinked, looking up at Carmen. 

“Yeah,” Carmen grinned. “Yeah, that-that would be a good idea, right?” He beamed playfully. 

You smiled, gently petting the kitten’s back, smiling at how he arched into your touch. “I think it should be something kinda with the restaurant.” You suggested. “Since that’s where we found him.” 

“Yeah? Like Bear?” Carmen muttered. 

Your nose crinkled gently. “He doesn’t really look like a Bear.” 

“No,” Carmen agreed, shaking his head. “More like a Garfield.” 

You snorted lightly, rolling your eyes. “That’s such a gimme name.” You shook your head. “Maybe not the restaurant, exactly, but… similar?” 

“Yeah? Like Trash Can?” Carmen muttered, lips curling playfully. 

You gasped lightly, smacking his leg playfully. “No.” You huffed. “Something maybe with food?” 

“Carrot?” 

“No.” You pouted lightly, head tilting towards the small cat, occupied with Carmen’s sweatpant strings. “What about, like, Anchovy?” 

“Anchovy?” Carmen snorted in amusement softly. 

“Yeah, like the fish.” You shrugged softly. “And cats eat fish- well, in the cartoons they do, y’know?” 

“Yeah, I know, baby.” Carmen grinned softly down at you. “You think he looks like an Anchovy?” 

The small kitten turned, perking towards Carmen, padding happily over to him. Your face lit, glowing with beaming pride and adoration as Carmen scooped up the small kitten, let him rub his face into his chest sleepily- sweetly. You thought you might melt into a puddle on the floor at the sight. 

“Alright.” Carmen laughed lightly. “Think you’re right. Think he’s an Anchovy.” 

“Anchovy Berzatto.” You hummed, crawling between Carmen’s spread legs, petting the tiny cat. You smiled so brightly at Carmen, his own cheeks burned, flaming under your radiant affection. 

Your lips caught him again, pulling him in for a sweet, longing kiss over the small kitten’s head. Your hands in Carmen’s hair, pulling him closer and closer, kissing him like a lifeline- it made his head swim, chest swell with adoration. 

Anchovy chirped, teetering on a meow and yawn, little paw stretching in Carmen’s hold. Your forehead pressed to Carmen's, you ducked down to coo at the small kitten, moving to sit in between Carmen’s legs, your back to his chest. 

Home with your little family, complete with the little kitten, Anchovy Berzatto.

[sansxreaderbraindump]

FARMER! SANS X SHUT-IN READER HEADCANONS RANDOM HEADCANONS - FARMER! Sans does all the cooking in the house because you unfortunately, can't cook a simple meal but you are learning though. One time, you tried to make curry for him as a "thank you" meal for moving in with him. Consequently, the rice ended up being mushy and the curry turned bitter. so you ordered fast food as a gift instead. (@lylia9000) - During October, you randomly decided you wanted to dress up as a scarecrow for Halloween and began working on the costume. In addition, FARMER! sans added in a flower crown he made from agsore's garden to make the costume really "brighten up." Yet for some reason FARMER! sans had a weird "Deja Vu" feeling once he saw you in your costume, he stared long enough before you questioned him on it. "what's wrong? is there something wrong with the costume? oh god, is there a tear-" "nah hon, you look "Outstanding." "stooop." "what? not in your "field?" - Long before you guys started dating, FARMER! sans pampered you with his recently harvested vegetable's and homemade ketchup. The reason why he babied you was because when he went over your house, sans questioned how you were still living with how empty your fridge is. All this poor fridge only had was a half empty ramen noodle cup and a carton box storing leftover fast food you ordered last night. the next day when you opened your fridge, you were greeted by.. Sans's vegetables, homemade ketchup, milk, eggs, carbon boxes of cooked food, and toriel's butterscotch cinnamon pie (the full pie.. 0-0) it had a note "Butter not wheat-it all!" - toriel (Toriel joined in with sans on helping you with your fridge situation because she cares for you and is concerned for your health like a mother would.) - Staying inside your house home alone is guilt free but when it comes down with living with your "humerus" skeleton it is not very guilt free, it contains the tax of feeling like a burden. FARMER! Sans doesn't mind working on his farm alone; he done this many times and besides you done enough as cleaning the house for him. but to you it's not enough, so you went to sans and asked him if you could help him with his farm. "sosanscouldihelpyouonyourfarmnotbecause-" "ok" You kinda regretted asking to help because you were not shaped for farm work. You feel your lower back aching from all the hay dragging and rock lifting you had to do, You did ask for it though. though you struggled you were determined to work. hyping yourself with video game references in your mind fills you with determination. "THIS IS JUST STARDEW VALLEY, THIS IS JUST LIKE MINECRAFT, JUST LIKE MINECRAFT AND STARDEW VALLEY! JUST GOTTA KEEP ON WITH THE GRIND!" once you're finally done, you just flop onto the hay with a groan. your sweaty body makes you want to go to your bed but you were too tired to walk. Eventually sans comes up with a grinning smile as always, you lifted your face to greet him but he beat you to it. Sans cupped your face with his hand and rewarded you by pressing his teeth against your lips. *good job kiddo after that you considered working with him more in the future.

[desswright29]

Sandcastles

Word count: 4.7k

Contains: Angst, Sad Shuri, emotional, Love Making, Happy Ending

Another Sad Love Song

The tention in Shuri’s shoulders sat heavier as she shut the door to the garage behind her. Music rang throughout the house. Upbeat drums and melodic piano set an almost jovial mood, but Shuri knew better. She knew if she listened close enough to the lyrics. It’d be yet another sad love song. She released an exhale placing her keys on the key rack, took off her coat to hang, and placed her lab shoes in the cubby.

Making her way to the kitchen, she opened the refrigerator pulling out vegetables and the fresh steak that she’d gotten from the butcher yesterday. Today would be different, she told herself. It was a special day and things would lighten up. They had to. She set everything on the island before heading upstairs to change into clothes more suitable for cooking. She tried to keep that ounce of hope that she’d mustered up up in the kitchen. But as her footsteps inches closer to your shared bedroom she could feel the energy being sucked from her body. The energetic music had changed crushing the bit of hope that remained as the lyrics smacked her in the chest.

“Why does it hurt so bad, Why do I feel so sad.”

Once again, she was correct. Another song that told the story of your pain stifled the air of the once warm home filled with beautiful memories. Most of the time it felt cold and draining now. A consistent guilt was always gripping at Shuri’s chest. It was begining to wear her down. 

Placing a smile on her face she opened the door to the room hoping that if she appeared to be in a good mood it would somehow transfer over to you. She was surprised to find you sitting at your vanity fully dressed placing finishing touches to your make up. Her smile widened a bit more at the sight of her beautiful girlfriend all done up. In one fell swoop, all hope had come back to Shuri. Had you remembered and made plans for the two of you today? You glance up looking at her in the mirror, you slightly nod your head in acknowledgment of her presence. 

“Griot, turn down the music.” Shuri calls as she stares at you from the doorway. She stepped further into the room. “Wow, thando you look amazing! What’s the occasion?” She asked. A smirk turned up the corner of her lips.

“Headed out with the girls tonight.” You say simply, releasing your curls from the loose bun you’d placed them in, and fluffing them out. Shuri immediately deflated. Her eyes began to sting. 

“Uh..I-I had hoped that you and I could have a night in together. I thought I’d make us some dinner and we could relax and watch some of our favorite movies.” At one point in the relationship Shuri saying those words would have made your face light up. You would’ve put on matching pajama’s ran down stairs and helped her cook, laughed and danced together, and the movie would’ve watched as the two of you made love not even half way through. 

But nothing in your face changed and neither did your intentions. “Rain check? I’ve already told the girls I’d hang.” 

Shuri’s head dropped as she bit into her bottom lip. She nodded. “Yea.. yea ok. Have fun.” With that she walked away. Going into her closet she stripped off her clothes for the day placing them into her clothing hamper and finding her lounge wear. A grey sweat suit would do. She glanced on top of her glass jewlery case looking at a watch that you’d bought her exactly four years ago today. 

On your anniversary. 

“To my forever” was engraved in the back. She grabbed the watch holding it in her palm, her thumb grazing over the inscription as she slid to the floor with her back against the closet island.  

She quickly rubbed her hand over her face once again feeling the sting on tears coming on. Could she really shed tears over this? Was she allowed to be hurt and exhausted with her situation? This was all her doing. She’d lost the loving, and affectionate woman that she’d once had due to her own inability to remain faithful. Somehow, she’d managed to get you back after a year break up. Without you she’d gone insane. Fought tooth and nail to fix her mistake. She’d done everything in her power to get you back. And it’d worked. Physically you were right here. Tangible. Except, it really hadn’t. 

She quickly shook it off. There was no room for her to feel sorry for herself. Standing to her feet she placed the watch on her wrist and walked out of the closet. 

You were now grabbing your trench that had been drapped across the bed preparing to leave. Shuri stood awkwardly in the center of the room. Watching as you shrugged on your coat.

“How long are you planning to be out?” 

“Not sure. I’ll let you know. I’m headed out.” You walked over to her placing a kiss on her cheek before nothing was left of you but the lingering scent of your perfume. 

She headed back down stairs to the kitchen. She washed her hands, thinking about where she went wrong, preparing to make dinner for one on her anniversary. 

3 am rolled around and Shuri sat alone in the darkness of the living room. A blunt rolled to perfection sat between her fingers. Her mind to preoccupied to take on any other stimulation. You still hadn’t returned home and numbness had taken over her body. She’d sent several text. All unanswered. She kept trying to remind herself she deserved this. But did she? Really? You said you forgave her. So how much longer could she take being punished? 

The front door opened. Soon the sound of your heels clicking against the marble floors followed. As you entered the living room humming a tune, Shuri could no longer hold back. She brought the sativa to her lips taking a deep draw, holding it in for awhile before releasing through her nose. 

“Do you even still love me?” You gasped. Your hand flying up to your chest in shock from having not seen Shuri on the couch. “Fuck Shuri! You scared the shit out of me. What are you doing up sitting in the dark!” You walked over turning on the lamp next to the couch. The light illuminating Shuri’s tear stained face. Shuri’s low eyes scanned your body as you examined her face. She had learned long ago to swallow her emotions after everything she’d lost. So her tears were not to be taken lightly. 

Shuri took another puff of the blunt turning away from you. “I’m sorry sthandwa.” She whispered. Smoke escaping her mouth as she spoke. “I don’t know how many more ways I can say it or put it into action.” A single tear rolled down her cheek as you stood quietly not knowing what to say. “I-I’m exhausted. Everything feels so h-heeeeavy.” She almost heaved the words. “I work hard, and I come home to a house that almost feels like a jail cell. It’s so cold, so suffocating. It hurts. Because I remember what it used to be. I don’t know if I’m allowed to feel it because I hurt you. I know I shattered your love, trust and admiration for me into millions of little pieces. I know how uncalled for the pain that I caused you was. And everyday I’m trying to pick up those pieces. Slicing my fingers and gluing my wounds shut until it burns. Every time I feel like I’m making just a little progress it feels like somebody comes and crushes it under their foot, and now im back at square one.” 

She tsked leaning forward to place her poison in the ashtray. Sitting back into the couch she still couldn’t look at you. “I-I’m breaking y/n. I can’t take it and I need to know that you still l-love me. That I still have a chance to make this better.” She broke. Her hands shaking uncontrollably as she struggled to control her breathing. 

You rush over to her kneeling on the floor in front of her. “Shuri calm down.” You grab her hands attempting to ground her. But she was gone in a full fledge panick attack. You lifted yourself from the floor and straddled her lap. You grabbed her pulling her into you holding her tight. Lying her head on your bossom. “Shuri I do love you. I love you sooo much. Breath for me please! Calm down.” Shuri’s arms wrapped tightly around your waist. As if you’d float away if she let go. “I love you, I love you, I love you.” You kept repeating as her breathing slowly became more controlled. Your chin rested atop her head, fingers running through her curls as you rocked her back and forth humming a tune.

You realized this had been the most affection you’d given her in a year. “I’m so sorry Shuri.”

Shuri could only continue to hold onto you. Soaking in your embrace that had been so vividly absent. The feel of your body pressed against hers. The feel of your fingers carressing her scalp. The feeling of you, your essence, your calm gave her a peace that she hadn’t felt in such a long time.

“I don’t want you to be sorry.” Her muffled speech vibrated against your breast. “I just want to make it better baby. I want you to love me the way you did before. I need you to tell me what you need me to do? I know what I did will always be apart of our story. And if I could change that I would. But I can’t. I need you to know that I’m doing everything in my power sthandwa. Do you believe you could ever trust me again?”  You remove your arms from around Shuri’s neck and attempt to remove yourself from her lap. She held you tighter looking up into your eyes with those eyes you loved so much. They were pleading with you.“Baby Please don’t move.” She spoke softly. 

For the past year you spent the majority of your time trying to ignore the effect your girlfriend had on you. Trying with all your might not to fall as hard as you did before. To subject yourself to the pain you’d gone through with her. But now sitting here looking down into the eyes you’d avoided for so long. Seeing the regret and what a toll the past year of trying to fix it had taken on her, made your feelings you’d swallowed bubble to the surface. It was time for this conversation to happen. Time to move forward. You settled onto you lovers lap grabbing onto her triceps, creating an air of closeness and connectivity, you lowered your guard. Letting out a cleansing breath you finally let go. 

“Shuri, I don’t know… did you trust me to love you the right way when you went- looking for something else… from someone else? What you’re trying to do now is what I tried to do back then! Love you! Make it easy for you. I want this to be right, but how will I know? I love you with everything in me… I just-“

“So you don’t.” Shuri cut you off. “You don’t believe that you can.” The eye contact was suddenly too much and her head dropped in defeat. “Baby I don’t know what else to do. You couldn’t possibly ever be happy with me if you still feel like this.”

You cup Shuri’s face, blinking away your tears. “Shuri… I need you to stop hating the person you were when it happened, and just love me. Be the person you are now! I watch the whole thing replay over and over again in your eyes every time you look at me! Like I’m your victim and not someone that you love! The pity…it gets to me! And I love you and hate watching you torture both of us with the redundancy of your mind. Give me you! Please… I miss you. Give me you… and what if—-if-“ Your mind wandered away and Shuri took the opportunity to speak once again.

“How? How if you keep rejecting me. You’ve been so cold.” You swallowed it was true. But you were giving it all you had at the moment before fear would grip you and pull you back into numbness. The idea you were seeking finally came forward in your mind.

“What if we need something new… you want the love I’ve had before but what if it’s changed? Does that have to be a bad thing? Shuri, look at me… really look at me. Don’t shy away… just look at me. I’m right here, now what? Maybe it’s not a matter of redemption… but a place of renewal. Shuri I want this, I want you. But I need you to stop holding on to who we were before all this. It hurts.”

“I’m looking sthandwa... and I’ve been watching you as well. Trying to get a glimpse of what you want from me. How am I supposed to not hate myself for what I did when every day I walk in this house it’s as if your constantly trying to remind me that I hurt you. The lack of affection. All the fucking sad songs. *Lip trembles* You’re right. I’m sure it has changed. Right now I’ll take anything. It doesn’t have to be the same. I just want it to get better.” Her response triggered a bit of your defensiveness. Shocking the both of you. But you both remained steadfast in your embrace. Still dedicated in letting each other know that you weren’t letting go.

“Shuri I deserve to grieve this! I deserve to handle the loss of it the way that I need to! You haven’t! You harbor it! And you resurrect it with every fiber of your being when you walk through that door with the same expectations! The same dimness! Your guilt touches me before your hands even want to…”

“No baby! I’m here. Right here and right now I’m this moment! What you’re seeing isn’t a resurrection of the past… it’s a reaction of the treatment that I’m receiving right now! It’s been a year… A year of us being stagnant in this. I’ve given you the room to grieve and you’re not acknowledging my effort…and out of fear of loosing you for making your hurt about me I shut up! I walk on eggshells. Trying not to make another mistake, and it still hasn’t been enough. You agreed to come back to me.. to try y/n. I’m not telling you you cannot grieve. I’m asking you if in your grief there is room for you to love me without fear. To know that I’m not going backwards.” 

“I’m sorry… I don’t want to be selfish but that was the only thing keeping me up for months. Being selfish with myself... with my love! Because Maybe I didn’t want room to grieve! Maybe I wanted to be in your arms! In your space! Goddamn it, Shuri I needed that reassurance! To know that you didn’t mean it! That you didn’t mean to do any of it! But we were both so afraid to feel ourselves that we wouldn’t just turn around and embrace each other! You just stood there and watched me run from you and cry! I can try to be more open with you just stop the silence! Stop the waiting and just tell me you need me as much as I need you! Tell me you didn’t mean it, baby! Tell me how to receive you! It’s not that I don’t want to, I just don’t know how anymore!” 

Somehow the two of you managed to be even closer in your embrace. Shuri’s hands sat snug on your hips, your hands still gripping firmly at her biceps as tears flowed freely from the both of your eyes. With a sniffle Shuri began to speak.

“I believe we’ve found our dilemma. We both wanted the same thing and neither of us communicated it properly. You were afraid and so was I. That night *clears throat* when it happened I remember the hatred in your eyes when I tried to touch you. The screams from your cries that came from inside the house after you sent me away. I vowed to you and myself to never garner that reaction out of you again. I made a vow to myself that I’d be the one to fix it. But I still so the small flenches when I’d reach for you. The uncertainty in your eyes. All in all I understand now.. *grabs both of your hands between hers placing kisses on your knuckles*. You needed reassurance. *stares into your eyes* and I needed permission.”

For a moment you two sat in silence. Scanning eachothers faces as though you’d just met. As though you’d just discovered an unknown that had been sitting right in your face all along. 

Shuri brought your right hand back up to her mouth. Once again kissing your knuckles. “Do I?” Her lips moved to the pulse point on your wrist placing another light kiss. “Do I have your permission?” Another kiss in the center of your forearm sent shivers down your spine. 

“Please. I need you.” The rhythm of your heart picked up and your core leaked with want for the only woman you saw yourself with for the rest of your life. “Yes.” You whimpered. “Yes baby. Make love to me.”

Her hand released yours as she brought it up to caress your cheek. There’s so much warmth in her touch. Such an unspeakable love. Her eyes connected with yours. Filled with desire. “Are you sure? There’s no rush.” Without hesitation you nod. “There’s nothing in this world that I want more right now.”

Her hands traced down your arms until she held your hands and your fingers intertwine. Tears brimmed her eyes once again. “You’re … you’re my world… my life, my soul ubusi.” With that she leans in and kisses you with a passionate desperation. Not a wide-mouthed lust filled kiss. But a kiss of pure love an adoration. And when your tongues meet they caress eachother so softly, so gently as if to say “Hello, I’ve missed you.”

She lets go of your hands pulling your body gently against hers, your breast pressing into eachothers as your hands began to travel one another’s bodies. Your hips absentmindedly began to ground down into her. Her fingertips traveling up and down your spine setting your body aflame, causing you to press further into her. Every point of contact felt like perfection. You break the kiss lying your head on her shoulder. Crying softly as her fingers found the zipper to your dress, and with almost a painful slowness tooth by tooth, she unzips you and removes the straps from your shoulders. Her lips trailing kisses over your collar bone as she removes the dress from your upper half until it crumples at your waist.

Your fingers find the hem of her sweat shirt and you gently help her lift it over her head tossing it out of your sight. Both of your breast sat exposed, eager for the others touch. She presses you into her, her lips attaching themselves to your neck as she slowly inched her way down to your breast. You suck in a sharp breath as her tongue connects with your nipple. Releasing that breath with a slow “Ahhhhhh”. You’re body had missed her. Her hands slowly raised the remainder of your formfitting dress to meet the rest at your waist. Her hand then moved to your core brushing over the top of your lace panties, silky with your want for her. “Mmm” Shuri moaned at your wetness her mouth still attached to your breast.

Her thumb began to caress your bud as you chased the friction with your hips. “Oh.. oh god yes” your body trembled beneath her touch. Shuri couldn’t help herself. She slid your panties to the side. Easily slipping her middle finger into your wetness. “Fuuuck” she whispered. Pulling away from your breast she sat back and watched as your body ground against her finger before slipping another one inside. You threw your head back, leaning back and using her knees to brace yourself. Her mouth fell open watching you cream around her fingers, as your breast bounced. 

“Bast… so fucking creamy sweet girl. I gotta taste her.” The smell of sex already began to pervade the room as she effortlessly lays you back onto the couch. Some how. Some way you felt like a virgin again. You’d almost forgotten how sexy of a woman she was. The way she moved the way she handled you was driving you insane. She made you nervous.

Shuri climbs over top of you placing a light peck on your mouth, your chin, your throat, your chest, each of your breast. She kissed every inch of your body leaving no stone unturned. You feel yourself gush as she slides your panties and dress down your thighs. Once you’re completely naked she continues her journey to your sex.

“Oh Shuri please! Please put your mouth on me. I’ll be good for you.” You watched as her eyes almost rolled to the back of her head. You knew what those words did to her. “Yea? You’ll be good for me?” The words oozed from her lips like the juiciest peach, making your core clench around nothing. “Yes daddy! I’m your good girl!” 

Before you knew it her head was between your thighs. Her tongue snaking up your labia, scooping up the dew of your love. Your back arched and you let out a sharp squeak as she found your clit and worshipped it. Once again a gentle finger enters you and you squeeze down on it. One of your hands reaches down and grabs at Shuri’s curls while the other plays with your breast. This felt different. Like a conjoining of the mind, body, and soul. 

“Don’t stop Shuri.. I’m close.. I’m so close”

Shuri hummed into your core as she slurped and sucked on your clit while curling her fingers inside of you, your body started to shake and your legs shut around Shuri’s head, your hips move up and down as she stuck out her tongue and allowed you to use her. “Uhn, uhn, uhn! Oh my god I’m cumming!” 

A wave a heat came over your body as you let out a deep groan. A light layer of sweat glistened on your body as your body came down from its high.

Shuri continued her ministrations, licking you clean. “You sound so pretty and you taste like heaven sweet girl. I need more.” She leans back over top of you kissing you slowly so that you could taste your nectar on her tongue. “Can you give me more sthandwa?”  You nod and she gently grabs your jaw looking you in the eye. “Use your words pretty girl.”

“Fuck! Yes Shuri.. you can have as much as you want.” A smile crept up on her lips as she reached down to wrap your arms around her shoulders and gripped your thighs swooping you into her arms and carrying you up the stairs to your room. Your thighs clenched around her body as you kissed along her jaw. Once you entered the room. She sat you gently on the bed. You reached up and began to suck on her nipples while tugging down her briefs and sweat pants until they pooled around her ankles. Her body shivered as you placed your hand between her thighs, moving your hand up and down against her clit. Her wetness dripped down her thighs as she gripped the back of your head. 

“Shit that feels so good, ubusi” she groaned. 

“Sit on my face.” You blurted out the words before you could think about it. She looked down at you shocked. “W-what.” 

“I want you to ride my tongue.” You lie back onto the bed and gestured for her to climb up your body. “So take a seat.” Shuri bit into her bottom lip and seductively climbed up your body, and suddenly her pretty pussy was hovering over your face glistening and looking unspeakably beautiful as she slowly lowered herself onto your mouth.

You closed your mouth around her clit and sucked hard as she began to grind. “Oooohh, ndifunxe (suck me)” Her hips stuttered above you and you lifted your head from the bed tongue kissing her clit. Her bud was so erect. It was like nothing you’d ever seen from her. “Oh Bast baby it feels too good! It feels so fucking good. I don’t wanna cum yet!” She removed herself from your mouth and you tried to hold her down. But she obviously won that battle. 

“Shuri!”

“ I want to cum inside you sthandwa.” She spread your legs placing her dripping cunt onto yours and began to move. “Oooouuu” you both moaned simultaneously. The slippery wet friction felt sooo good neither of you could hold it. Shuri began to speed up her thrust and you matched her rhythm. Gripping at her thighs. “BAST! I’m cumming. Ooouuuu you feel so good against me baby ahh uhn… uhn.. uhn… ahhhhh!” Shuri came harder than you’ve ever seen before. Her body trembled on top of you as she continued to slowly ride through her orgasam. 

You sat up and lie her on her back. Throwing her legs over your shoulders and cleaning up her mess. The taste of you orgasams combined was so deliciously erotic. You came up for air collapsing next to Shuri who looked at you mischievously. “What..” you say as you watched her bottom lip slide between her teeth. “Can I fuck you?” She stated explicitly. “I want to fuck my cum deep inside of that creamy pussy.”  You could only let out a seductive sigh as Shuri got on her knees and moved in between your legs. She pressed her Kimoyo beads activating her strap. 

She looked into your eyes. “You ready for me my love.”

“Yes, baby.”

She rubbed the tip of her strap around your soaking cunt. Reaching her hand down she stroked the lubricantion from your sex into her strap. She pushed your legs as far back as they could go and slowly pushed herself into you. “Oooooohhhh fuuuuck!” You screamed your pussy swollen from your previous orgasam. “Sh sh sh, I’ll take it slow”

“My god Shuri you fill me so good.” You moan. Her strokes became sharper as she spoke. 

“Yea. I promise, I’ll fuck you this good for the rest of our lives.” 

“Ahhh! Forever?”

“For fucking ever baby” 

She lowered herself to your ear. 

“Y/n, my life… uhn my love.. you’re my forever.” 

A tear rolled down your check from the pleasure and from her words. She picked up the pace reaching between you two rubbing your clit as she fucked you so perfectly. “I promise you’ll forever be s-safe with me. That I’ll never do a-anything but make you feel g-good fuuuckkk.” Her strokes became intentional as recognized you were about to cum. “Please yes please! I don’t want anyone else but you!” She trapped your lips against hers as she kissed you sloppily. You pulled away screaming. “I’m close baby!”

“Marry me Y/n.” Your eyes snapped open and you were met with Shuri’s serious face as she continued thrusting on top of you. Your eyes were big with shock.

“Marry me baby. I can’t live without you. Please-“

“YES! Yes I’ll marry you!” The excitement brought you both over the edge as you came holding each other. Shuri collapsed on top of you and the sound of heavy breathing filled the room as you came down from your collective highs. 

“So we’re getting married?” You ask after coming down. Making sure it wasn’t some orgasmic blurb. Shuri lifted herself off of you gazing into your eyes the light of the rising sun making her eyes and skin glow. A smile spread across her face.

“We’re getting married” Your smile soon matched hers as you both held eachother. Laughing, kissing, and cuddling in pure bliss. 

[juancarlos-ortiz]

Marked for Carnage - Chapter 6 (Juice x OC Fic)

Marked for Carnage Masterlist

A/N: Chapter 6 is here! It's been literal months lol but here we are. Warning this chapter does contain talks of domestic violence, drug use and drug dealing. Enjoy!

Word Count: 4009 words

Ronnie huffed as she slammed her front door closed. Irritation coursed through her after Agent Stahl's little visit. Juice remained where he stood in the living room, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. "Got pretty shitty timing, huh?" he said. Ronnie laughed softly and shook her head. "Nah, don't worry about it. Clearly they don't have shit if they're pushing out to family members," she shrugged. She moved past him, their arms brushing lightly together, sending goosebumps across her skin. Ignoring the reaction, she opened her pantry and scoured for lunch items. Closing the doors she turned to Juice. "So, I don't have anything for lunch in the house. Not really much of a cook," she admitted, her skin feeling hot as the embarrassment washed over her. She was 28, wasn't she supposed to know how to at least cook a basic meal by now? Work and school has always been her priority, leading her to live off takeaways and microwave meals - she always tried to get servings of vegetables if she could.

Juice smiled and shrugged. "Wanna go to the supermarket and we can find something to make together?" he asked. She perked up, not expecting that suggestion. "Really?" she asked. He smiled, nodding. "Yeah. I'm no Gordon Ramsay but I can make a decent sandwich." 30 minutes later they dumped the grocery bags on her counter and began to unpack the ingredients. Fresh bread, different deli meats, lettuce and tomatoes as well as condiments other than ketchup were now lined up on the counter top. Juice began to slice into the loaf - he claimed that buying a fresh loaf whole and slicing it yourself was the secret ingredient to the perfect sandwich. Ronnie pulled out plates and laid out the slices as he handed them to her. She had never had this much fun in the making food before. Juice put her at ease so naturally. They laughed and poked fun at each other. Ronnie stood in front of the two plates with all of the ingredients now prepped in front of her ready to assemble the sandwich.

Suddenly, there was heat at her back as Juice stood behind her, crowding her against the bench. "Ok so, just start putting it together how you would like," he said, his breath moving over her ear gently. She held in a shudder. "How do you like it?" she asked, her eyes bulging as the words came out, the unintentional innuendo making her want the ground to swallow her up. Juice just laughed, the vibration reverberating through her back. "I'll show you how I like it, Ronnie," he said, making her stomach cartwheel. He leaned against her further as she watched him grab various elements to make his sandwich. She could only focus on his hands though, watching them move and flex, wondering how they would feel grasping her hips and ass… "Your turn," Juice said, snapping her out of her dirty thoughts. He from behind her to stand next to her, smirking as if he could hear every nasty little thing she was thinking.

She cleared her throat and began to make her own lunch, trying to remember the order he had picked things up. She topped it off with the other slice, smiling brightly at Juice. His heart skipped at the sight. "Looks good, rookie," he teased. They took their lunch to the living room and sat down, beginning to eat. "Oh my god," Ronnie said after the first bite. "That is really good bread." Juice nodded, smiling at her. "Told you." They finished their meals in silence, Juice leaning back and closing his eyes in satisfaction his hand on his stomach. Ronnie took the two plates back to the kitchen before rejoining him on the couch. "So," Juice started. "Wanna tell me why you need club protection?" he asked. Ronnie stilled and swallowed thickly. Her palms began to sweat a little and her heart rate picked up, squeezing her eyes shut just at the thought of Mark. Juice watched her intently, taken aback by her reaction.

"Hey," he said softly, moving over and resting a warm hand against her back. She couldn’t hold back her shudder this time, her senses in overload. "I'm sorry, you don’t have to tell me if you don't want," his voice was close to her face and she opened her eyes, finding him a lot closer to her now. She dropped her gaze, landing on his lips before bouncing back up to his eyes again. This happened twice more, Juice's hand moving from her back up to cup the side of her head, his fingers pushing into her hair. Ronnie closed her eyes again and slowly pulled herself back from him. "Friends!" she thought. "Nothing more than friends." Juice followed her lead and put a little space between them, smiling sheepishly and swallowing. "Sorry," he mumbled again. Ronnie just smiled. "It's ok. I wouldn't say its club protection, more like Piney being stubborn," she laughed, trying to be as casual as possible.

Juice waited for her to continue. "My ex lives in Charming," she explained. "He's pretty much the reason I left in the first place. He was always a bit of a douchebag but when I we started our senior year of high school he dropped out and started dealing. He used before, but I never judged," she shrugged, looking down at her hands. "But it was when he started dealing that things got bad. He was selling to underage kids you know. Like 13 year olds. I didn't like that, I said so and he hit me. And then after he had done it once it became his go to 'punishment' whenever I did or said something he didn’t like. Which was a lot." Juice's face twisted in disgust. Dealing to kids was already shitbag territory but smacking people around, especially the woman you’re in a relationship with? Juice was surprised Opie hadn't already buried this guy. "Your dad and brother just let this happen?" he asked, unclenching his jaw.

Ronnie shook her head. "They didn't know for the most part. Mark made sure the bruises were in places I could easily cover up. He knew who my family were, he didn't have a death wish completely. Opie wasn't around much anyway, spent all of his time with Jax when he ran away from Mom's and came back to Charming," she swallowed the lump in her throat. "One day though, Mark forgot about his own rules and landed one right here," she pointed to her lower lip and Juice could just make out the smallest scar that he hadn't noticed before. "Split my lip so bad I had no choice but to go to the ER," she shrugged, huffing out an unamused laugh. "Tried to get Jax to take me but he just told Opie and dad. Fuckin' snitch." Juice inhaled deeply, letting her finish. "Piney and Ope started threatening to do all sorts of shit and I just… I couldn't let them. Made them promise that they wouldn't touch him. He's scum but he's not worth 25 to life. Opie wanted to take it to the club but he was only Prospecting at the time and somehow I managed to get dad to agree to drop it. But still I just knew that unless I packed up and moved to a different state, I would never really be rid of him."

Ronnie sighed and leaned over, grabbing her glass of water and taking a large gulp. Sitting it back down she continued. "So yeah, I left and went to school. Started to make a life for myself, stopped looking over my shoulder. But paid the price of missing out on 10 years with my family. And then Opie got released and my dad started hounding me to come back. So I did, hoping that Mark had moved on or something. But," she sighed again pursing her lips. "But?" Juice said, his eyebrow cocked. If this fucker had hurt her again he'd be doing some digging later that night. Hell, even if he hadn’t he would probably still do a deep dive on the guy, find out anything he could to potentially ruin his life. "But he's still here. When I left work the other day he was parked in the lot. Called out to me and then followed me for a few blocks. Freaked me out at the time but honestly, the whole protection thing is probably overkill. I'm sure he knows by now that dad and Opie know. He would have to be really dumb to try something," she said.

"Sounds like a real jerk off," Juice said, trying not to show in his voice how riled up he had become. The idea of anyone, let alone some piece of shit, laying hands on Ronnie made him seethe. Leaning over he lightly grasped her chin, running his thumb gently over the scar on her lip. Her mouth parted slightly as her breath hitched. "Not gonna let him touch you ever again," he said sternly, his eyes trained on her mouth. She smiled softly. "I can handle myself Juice," she declared, amused at how this usually fun and goofy guy had gotten so serious so suddenly - and over her no less. He just nodded, pulling his hand back and smiling. "I know you can baby," he winked, sending her into internal tailspins. She rolled her eyes and flopped back on the couch. "Don't do that!" she exclaimed. He laughed and sat back next to her. "Do what?" he asked teasingly. "You know what. We're supposed to be friends here and you're making it extra hard." Avoiding the obvious dirty jokes Juice continued laughing. "What? I treat all of my friends this way," he said, smiling down at her. "Mhmm," she said. "You call the Prospect baby?" she taunted. He poked her in the side. "Prospect ain't my friend."

Ronnie huffed out a breath, trying to blow a piece of her hair out of her face that had come loose. It wasn't sweltering hot yet considering it was only 9 in the morning but the physical process of removing all of the remains from the soil plus the coroners windbreaker she was required to wear out on a job was making Ronnie sweat. "Ok, last one," her boss said, placing a final bone - an ulna to be precise - into the third body bag. Claire Richards had been the coroner at St Thomas for nearly a decade and was a no nonsense, no bullshit kind of person. Which Ronnie liked perfectly fine. After working under her for a short amount of time, Ronnie could easily say she had learnt more than she ever had at her previous assistant position. She was honest and firm but never a total asshole in her management style. "Alright lets get these back to St Thomas and start IDing," Claire said, zipping up the bag and pulling her gloves off.

Ronnie grunted, pushing the last gurney into the van before running around and getting into the passenger seat. "I hope you don't mind what I'm about to say next," Claire said, making Ronnie arch a brow. "There's a good chance those bodies back there are bikers," Claire said, jerking her thumb back to where the bones lay in the bodies. Ronnie turned her head back, her brow furrowed in confusion. "Is that an educated guess or are you just making assumptions?" she asked, trying to keep any annoyance out of her voice. She knew the club delved into dark shit from time to time but to straight up assume immediately that this was their fault seemed like a bit of a stretch. "Those bones are old," Claire explained. "Like 15 years old. You would know that back in the early 90s the Mayans and the Sons had a couple of years of straight up violence. A lot of blood was shed. You saw those bullet holes right?" Claire asked, referring to the wounds found on the skulls. Ronnie nodded, chewing her bottom lip.

"Three sets of remains, bullets to the head and all old enough to match up to the dates. I'd say those are either Sons or Mayans we have in our van today, Veronica." Ronnie tilted her head. "You’re not even from Charming, how do you know all of this?" she asked. Claire tapped her fingers against the steering wheel as they passed the 'Welcome to Charming' sign. "I'm a morbid person I guess. And I like history." Ronnie turned her head to look out the window. Her stomach was unsettled and she felt anxious. She was 12 when the SAMCRO-Mayan war had started. And she knew that the Sons hadn’t lost as many as the Mayans - those they had had been given funerals. No one ever went missing, so the chances of the bodies being Mayans were high. Ronnie just hoped there was nothing to tie the club, especially her father, to it.

Ronnie chewed the tip of her pen, not taking her eyes off the paperwork in her hands as she walked down the hallway towards the morgue. The rest of her morning had gone quite easily with all 3 of the remains having identifiers that made finding out who they were much easier than she and Claire had anticipated. She pushed through the double doors still reading over the papers in her hands. The sound of a low two toned whistle made her freeze. Crossing her fingers that one of the bodies in the freezers hadn't suddenly become reanimated she slowly turned around, half relieved half taken aback to see Jax, Clay and Tig all standing around an open freezer, the draw with one set of the bones pulled out. She smiled awkwardly. "Um, hi?" she said. The men turned to face her fully, Clay's eyes narrowing at her suspiciously as if she was the one doing something she shouldn't.

Ronnie noted the wrench in Tig's hands, their intentions suddenly becoming clear. "No point in doing that," she pointed to the tool. "They've already been IDed." The three men all looked at each other in confusion. Jax yanked open the freezer next to him, grabbing the tag and reading it. His face dropped and looked up at Clay and Tig. Ronnie was rooted on the spot, unsure if she should be telling them to leave, leaving herself or - stupidly - standing guard at the door so all 4 of them wouldn’t be caught. "Lowell Harland Senior," Jax said, his voice low and cold. "This is Lowell's old man," he continued. Ronnie cleared her throat, getting the attention of the three of them. "I'm just gonna," she pointed towards the door and spun on her heel attempting to flee. "Veronica," Clay's voice had her pausing. Turning slowly, she looked at him. "Yeah?" she asked, trying to keep her voice steady.

"This ain't gonna be a problem, is it?" Clay motioned towards the opened drawers. Ronnie swallowed. She was pretty certain Clay would never actually hurt her but she knew that he was the kind of guy who wouldn't stop at anything to get his own way. She shook her head rapidly. "No, of course not." Clay nodded at her once. "Good girl." She smiled and fled the room, her skin crawling at his praise. She had never had a problem with Clay but she didn't find him to be as kind and approachable as John Teller. Turning the corner she leant against the wall, closing her eyes and taking deep breaths. Why the hell would Lowell Sr be tossed into an unmarked grave with Mayans? Mayans she was now certain had been put there by the Sons. Ronnie wasn't sure but she sure as shit didn't want to know more than she needed to.

Ronnie grinned as she hopped out of her car in her driveway, waving at Juice who was sat on his bike parked at the curb. "Man, am I glad to see you," she huffed out, her skin flushing at her sudden confession. Juice cocked an eyebrow. "Are you now?" he asked, strolling towards her and stopping only inches away. She nodded, smiling sweetly at him. "Rough day?" he asked. She huffed a breath. "You have no idea." She walked up the path and let them both into the house. "There's this thing on at the boxing ring this afternoon. You wanna come? Just as friends," Juice shrugged. Ronnie laughed softly. "Yeah ok. Fights?" she asked. "Bare fist boxing," he nodded. "Okay, let me get ready and lets go."

Ronnie smiled as Juice held his hand out to her, helping her get off his bike behind him. He pulled his helmet off and swung his leg over, standing up next to her. She stood and waited for him to help her take her own off, shivering a little as his knuckles brushed against the skin of her neck and chin. "You got family who ride and you can't even work your own helmet," he tsked, shaking his head teasingly. She softly drove her fist into his stomach in a light punch. "Those things are death traps," she pointed to his bike. "I hate going on them." Juice frowned. "You've never said anything to me," he murmured. Ronnie avoided his stare, smiling timidly. "Well I don't really mind it when it's your bike," she admitted. Juice grinned like a fool and threw his arm over her shoulders, guiding her towards the building.

Once they were inside they found a seat on one of the amphitheatre seats. They watched on as Half-Sack seemed to drop opponent after opponent. Tig, Bobby and Chibs, who Ronnie had yet to formally meet yet, were in his corner, yelling out advice - some helpful, some ludicrous. "I'm gonna go get a beer, you want anything?" Juice asked her. She nodded, reaching for her wallet but he grabbed her wrist. "I got you," he winked and turned to leave. Ronnie smiled, watching him leave. Suddenly, someone sat themselves in the seat next to her. It was a young woman, with reddish brown hair and a nasty cut across her nose with bruising around her eyes. She smiled at Ronnie. "You hittin' that?" she asked, pointing at Juice. "Excuse me?" Ronnie asked, furrowing her brow. "You his Ol' Lady?" the girl asked again, her eyebrow raised.

Ronnie scoffed and shook her head. "No, we're just friends. Why? You tryna hit that?" Ronnie asked, hoping she didn't sound as jealous as she felt. She and Juice were friends. He was a grown man with wants and needs, of course he could do what he liked with whomever he liked. But Ronnie couldn’t help the souring feeling in her stomach at the thought of him touching someone else. The girl laughed and shook her head. "Nah. He's mine," she pointed towards the ring and Ronnie's eyes widened. "The Prospect?" she asked. The girl smiled proudly and nodded. "I'm Cherry by the way," she held her hand out to Ronnie who took it and shook firmly. "Ronnie." Cherry turned back to face the match. "What happened to your face?" Ronnie asked.

Cherry turned to look at her with an amused expression. "A little forward, don't ya think?" she smirked. Ronnie shrugged. "No real way of asking politely is there?" Cherry frowned. "Yeah I guess not." Ronnie blinked and looked towards the match where Half-Sack was pummelling a man surely half to death. "The Prospect didn’t do that, did he?" she asked. Cherry shook her head. "Nah, Kip ain't like that. At least not with me," she motioned towards her battered nose. "Took a skateboard to the face." Ronnie's jaw hung open. "How the hell did that happen?" she asked. "Presidents Ol' Lady swung it at me," Cherry clarified. Ronnie sat back bewildered. "Gemma?" she was puzzled. She knew what the woman could be like when something pissed her off but a skateboard to the face? Seemed a little excessive.

"Yeah well, what happened on a run didn’t exactly stay on the run and I had to pay the price," Cherry shrugged. Juice came back with their beers, handing one to Ronnie. "Hey Cherry," he smiled at her. Cherry grinned back, her eyes darting between Ronnie and Juice. "Hey Juice. Pretty little friend you've brought along tonight," she jutted her chin towards Ronnie who tsked in slight embarrassment. Juice just nodded. "She is, isn’t she?" he nudged her gently with his elbow. Ronnie avoided his stare and watched the fight. Half-Sack was back in the corner being spoken to by Tig and Chibs. Suddenly, Clay appeared before them, giving Ronnie a fright, her smile slipping as she remembered what had happened earlier that day. He just smiled tightly at them both before moving to sit on the other side of Cherry.

"He's not gonna do it," Juice mumbled under his breath. "Huh?" Ronnie asked. Juice leant his head towards her so he could explain quietly, but nearly all of Ronnie's concentration left her head when the combination of his cologne and the leather scent of his cut washed over her. "Prospect is meant to be throwing this fight. But the little shit has too much pride I reckon," he explained, the low volume of his voice making it sound raspier, sending goosebumps skittering over Ronnie's skin and skimming up her spine. She nodded, knowing her numb tongue couldn't do its job right now. The fight started back up and Ronnie could vaguely tell that Clay and Cherry were talking. The Prospect was seeming to tire out and slow down, his opponent getting some good jabs in. Suddenly Cherry reared back before throwing her arms around Clay and kissing his cheek.

"Oh shit," was all Juice said as they saw Half-Sack zero in on what was happening before his rage began to refuel him and he started throwing punch after punch. Ronnie and Juice both winced as the guy got completely pummelled, Tig and Chibs racing into the ring to pull the Prospect off him. Ronnie and Juice recounted it later, laughing as walked up the driveway to her front door. "That guy is going to need some serious healing time," Ronnie said as she pushed her keys into the lock. Before she could open the door Juice grabbed her hand and pulled her back towards him, standing her in front of him. She looked up at him, confused. Juice leant in, making her gasp softly. His lips landed on her cheek, the corner of his mouth just meeting hers. He pulled away, delighted at the shock on her face and the sparkle in her eye.

He couldn’t help himself, he just wanted to touch her all over, and mark her as his. But they had decided on being friends for the time being so this would be as far as it goes. For now. "I really had fun with you tonight," he beamed, rocking back on his heels with his hands now planted in his pockets. "Me too," Ronnie hummed. "We should hang out more often. I mean, you’re at my place all the time anyway but it was fun to get out," she stammered, trying not to word vomit completely. Juice nodded, stepping around her to open the door. "I'm gonna head to bed, but there's beers and stuff in the fridge if you want. You're probably missing out on some club party just to come babysit me, huh?" she gibed. Juice just shrugged, his lips pursed. "I really don't mind. It's nice to be out of the clubhouse for a while. It's always so loud and crowded there." Ronnie nodded, smiling tightly. "Ok well, goodnight Juice," she wrung her hands together. "G'night Ronnie," he smiled, taking a seat on the couch. Ronnie walked to her room and closed the door leaning back against it, her hand ghosting over the skin he had kissed. Yeah, sure. Just friends.

[psalacanthea]

Vegetarian Pot Pie

hey whats up i made this for my friends and they said it was good, so I decided to write the recipe down while i still remember it (for once in my life), so I can make it again. I will share it with you.

This is rich, filling, delicious, but doesn't just taste like a sad chicken pot pie with no chicken. This is a proper vegetarian dish, and perfect for winter. Extremely cozy and nice. If u need something to make for Christmas but don't want to work all day, this is for you.

It does not have peas because I'm not a fucking MONSTER

...

Ingredients:

1 leek

1 sweet potato (I used white sweet potato, orange are too sugary for me)

1 large russet potato or 2 small-medium

1 large carrot or 2 small-medium

1 large parsnip

mushrooms of choice (i used pre-sliced baby bellas)

2 decent-sized cloves of garlic

sage

rosemary

thyme

parsley

cream (milk or a milk sub is ok too but it won't be as rich)

3 tbsp butter

3 tbsp ap flour

1 carton (or 2 cans) vegetable stock

white wine (i used chard but any other non-sweet white like a pinot grig would be ok. just no sweet whites, the root veggies are plenty sweet)

s&p

store-bought pie crusts (if you like suffering make it yourself!)

utensils:

1 pie pan

1 small pot

Strainer (you can use a slotted spoon to remove stuff if you don't have [or let it cool and use your fingers])

1 lg. saucepan

Knife

Spatula or Big Spoon

(steps below cut)

To begin you're going to want to enhance your vegetable stock-- store-bought veggie stock is boring and often too tomatoey, we want to mitigate that. Veggie broth doesn't have to taste dull!

Separate leek greens from whites. If your leek is pretty stumpy, you can use 2.

In a small pot at medium-high heat, sear the leek greens on both sides, and sautee 1-2 mushroom, sliced. Once the leek greens have been browned in spots, add 3/4ths cup white wine or so (you can eyeball it). Simmer until all the alcohol smell is gone from the wine (won't take long.)

If you feel inclined, you can also add any carrot/parsnip tops you might have trimmed off, to save waste. Keep in mind that these are both sweet vegetables, though, and that might change the flavor a little. Carrot greens tho would add a nice bit of freshness, and would be a fine sub for parsley.

Add vegetable stock, a sprig of thyme, rosemary, sage, and parsley (you can tie them together w/kitchen twine to make a bouquet garni, but if you're gonna strain the stock you don't need to)

You can also add bay leaf if you have like 3 containers of them in your spice cabinet for some reason and need an excuse to use them.

Turn the heat under the stock down to low, and simmer until it's reduced by about a third, maybe an hour (it can hang out while you do other stuff.)

Peel potatoes, cut into 1 to 1/2 inch chunks (small but not tiny). You should have about two cups. cube size is partially preference, but smaller chunks mean you can get all the flavor in every bite.

Do the same for the sweet potato, but reduce amount to a cup. You won't use the whole potato for this recipe, but they're SO good roasted wrapped in tinfoil and eaten plain with salt.

Scrub parsnip and carrot, cut into pieces that seem about the same as the potatoes, about a cup of each. (I don't peel my carrots don't @ me.)

Cut leek whites into half-circles.

If your mushrooms are not pre-cut, slice mushrooms until you have about a cup of them ready to go.

Please note, if you have extra veg cut-- just add it. Extra filling is no big deal you can just eat it by itself or add it to your plate of pie. No need to waste anything.

Squash and finely chop garlic cloves.

In a large saucepan on medium- medium high heat, add 3 tbsp butter and 3 tbsp flour, mix together as butter melts to form a cohesive mixture- a roux.

Cook until roux is starting to bubble. Add leeks, add carrots, mushrooms, and parsnips. Salt lightly to encourage moisture loss.

Sautee in the roux for 3-5 minutes or so until the veggies are starting to smell good and the roux is getting gold, then add garlic.

Cook for 30 seconds to a minute more, stirring constantly, until you can smell the garlic. Garlic burns easily!

Strain enhanced stock into saucepan.

Add potatoes and sweet potatoes.

Stir until the roux dissolves into the stock and it begins to thicken, and then turn down to low heat (you want small and regular bubbles, but not big glorpy ones).

It might not look like enough gravy, but we don't want a ton. It's a pie, not a stew. If you REALLY think it's not enough, your stock might have reduced too far. Add a bit of water if you must.

Remove leaves from 1 large sprig thyme, and add to filling. Remove leaves from and finely dice 1 sprig rosemary. Do the same for sage. Toss out the stems.

The gravy should still be thin-ish, but we're going to reduce it down more as the potatoes are cooked through.

Cook until potatoes are just barely fork-tender. Even slightly undercooked is ok. Taste gravy for salt and pepper. Add salt and pepper to taste.

Add 1/3rd cup heavy cream/milk or so. Stir in.

Strip the leaves from 1-2 sprigs of parsley, finely chop, stir into gravy.

Taste again. Season again if necessary.

Let the filling cool. Try not to eat it all.

Unroll 1 pre-made pie crust, and put in the bottom of your pie pan. Try to make it even all the way around.

Now! The easy way to seal a pie (without egg wash) is as follows.

Fold down the edge of the lower crust so that it sticks out past the top edge of the pie pan.

Add filling. Get that shit as full as you can while keep that sticking out edge of the pie crust dry.

Place top pie crust over the pie.

Fold the edge of the lower crust over the upper crust, rolling them up together to make the crust edge.

Either with a fork or with pinching, make the edge crust look prettier.

If the edges of both the lower crust and the upper crust have been rolled inside themselves, you shouldn't have filling leakage.

Cut venting holes on top in whatever quirky design you want.

Stick in a 350f (177c?) oven until it's done.

I don't know how long, I don't measure those things. The crust will be golden brown and the filling will be bubbly.

the wine is skippable, yes, but it adds some acidity that you need. try a squeeze of lemon into your gravy if you don't use it.

[bacony-cakes]

East German spy trying to tap the phone line but his numbers station radio won't turn off: Nein! NEIN! Schalte es aus! Den Mund halten! [fumbles the dial on the radio to maximum volume] NEIN! Scheiße! Scheiße verdammt! Schalten Sie es sofort aus! Es ist zu laut! Die Amerikaner werden mich finden! [the dial on his shitty soviet radio breaks off] NEEEIIIIIN! [his giant spy hat falls off in anguish]

The president of the United States of America: Hello is this the Pentagon? So i've been thinking... after i finish irreversably fucking over the economy, what do you think i should do next? Turn ketchup into a vegetable? Oh, i like that idea! Devilish as always. I've also been thinking that we should attach a laser that causes AIDS to a jumbo jet, maybe? I think it'd go well with that nuke-what-makes-you-gay project. ...Yes, i know the English are breaking new ground with their chicken-powered frozen wood plane, but trust me on this, AIDS Force One is the future of warfare. No, no, the laser gives who it's POINTED at AIDS, not the people operating it. Listen here, you son of an expletive, even if my brain is turning into a cauliflower, i am STILL the smartest man in the world, and I COMMAND you to build a machine that preserves me indefinitely like Mister House from Fallout New Vegas. ...Also, are you having an Oktoberfest party without me? I hear yodel music.

Guy who works at the Pentagon: No, mister president, we are not having an Oktoberfest party. From what i'm hearing, it's you who is having the Oktoberfest party. No, i'm not lying- I'm NOT a communist- DON'T put me on the no-fly list. Mister president, if you would- If you would listen for just one second, not only is a plane flying around and giving people horrible diseases cartoonishly evil, we cannot build a giant laser of any kind, because we've just used up our giant laser budget for faking the moon landings. Yes, but Neil Armstrong- Turn down your music, i can't hear you. No, Neil Armstrong- His name is not- He and those other guys got angry and went there for real. I don't know? Lock them in an airstream or something. No, the moon does not give you AIDS, for fuck's sake. There are not gay communist aliens on the moon that- We are- We are NOT building a "Hexagon" right next door to here that contains only people who listen to you. Also- God-emperor of the dominion of the United States of- Shut up, mister president. Fallout New Vegas doesn't release for what, thirty years? Mister pre- No, i am not going to wiretap the- Yeah, we could probably do that instead- And kill his wife too? That's kind of- Could YOU please turn down the music, mister president? For the last time, you're the one- Plan B? Ok, let's hear it. Hit me. Fly two planes into the- Mister president- What is this supposed to achieve- The good guys from Rambo 3? Mister president, what in the hell- And a third one into- A FOURTH one? Jesus Christ, what's wrong with- Can't you just use explosives or something? What do you even have against- Of course it's fucking about oil. It's all you think of. Every day it's "oil, oil, oil"- Pizza Hut is not communist- Mister president- Listen- No, don't you dare-

It will be done, my lord.

[mossyscavern]

I don’t wanna be buried.

_____________________

“~In a pet semetary, I don’t want to live my life again~.”

Sam sang, listening to one of his favourite songs since… forever.

It’s a song his dad listens to religiously and Sam picked it up along the way. It helps with his anxiety, but even then he just hums the tune, not sing.

But for Sam singing helps so much more, he just... prefers to keep this himself. “~Follow victor to the sacred place. This ain’t a dream, I can’t escape~.”

Sam continues, getting more and more lost in the song, remembering the lyrics in his head like the lost soul he is… unaware of his surroundings.

“~Someone cries, something ain’t right. I don’t wanna be buried, in a pet sem- AAHHH!”

“AAAHH!” Tom screamed, not expecting that. “Jeez, you scared me.” Sam said, clutching his chest while breathing heavily. “Where did you come from?” Sam asked. “Lilian’s tea party.” Tom answered with a shrug.

“Ah, ok… did you hear-.”

“I did.” Tom asked, confirming his suspicions. “I-…” Sam stopped, going quiet. Tom looked away in guilt, not sure what to do… except one thing.

“… you do have a nice voice, the raspy part of it makes it better.” He says quietly, fiddling with his damaged tie in the process.

This surprised Sam, even though no one’s heard him sing… like ever, that’s the 1st compliment he got from Tom that wasn’t from his family, it made the redhead blush a bit. “T-thanks… I think I know a good song you might like.”

Sam voiced out, taking his phone and earphones out from his bag that sits by the well.

He placed one ear phone in his ear, helped Tom with his and selected a good song he knew he’d like. “… it’s a bit quiet.” Tom says staring in his direction. “It’s the build up.” Sam answers.

Before long the guitar hits along with the other instruments, it made Tom jump, then blink in wonder as he kept listening.

*I took a little journey to the unknown.

And I come back changed and I could feel it in my bones.*

“… I like it. Is it made back when you were younger?” Tom asked

“Nah, made in April 6th last year actually.” Sam answers staring back at the playlist he made for himself. “Way before my death.” He whispered, remembering how much he loved the song. “Story of my life.” Tom comments.

“Pfff- sorry whahat?” Sam asked, staring at Tom confusingly. “The I fucked with forces bit and after? It’s the story of my life and undead life.” He says with a straight face, making Sam laugh at the assumption, later making Tom laugh.

“Jeez, and I thought Duncan’s the edgy one.” Sam says, face falters as he looks down sadly at his feet, his mind wondering to everyone he cared about.

“~I have seen what the darkness does, say goodbye to who I was.~” Sam sang to the lyrics, deeply lost in thought while trying to calm down. He was so lost he didn’t notice Tom completely relax and lean his head on the boy’s shoulder.

“~Show me yours and I’ll show you mine, meet me in the woods tonight~.” Sam sings, that part of the lyrics made him snort.

‘A bit ironic since we’re in the woods.’ Tom thought, sighing as he stared out in the open trees, the wild vegetation swayed as the wind whistled.

The lyrics Sam sings reminds him of how he officially met the redhead. Sam followed his family legend through the endless night and they all brought his fears to life, the items they owned showed Sam their life.

Now it’s his turn to share his with them if he wants to, but Tom isn’t going to push him.

‘I guess it’s not just our story.’ Tom thought, closing his eyes. Feeling safe for the first time since 92 years.

He’ll wait when it times, no matter how many years it takes.

_____________________

I hadn’t done anything candlebrace related for a long while now.

For those that don’t know, it’s a ship name between Sam and Tom, it contains mostly fluff and a bit of angst.. if I can actually do it-.

Also, wasn’t sure how to write a character singing, sorry if it wasn’t accurate…

Hope you guys enjoy

[cyclonestudios-alt]

wingfeather saga incorrect quotes

because I need something to keep my sanity and cause I'm getting sucked back in to the fandom lol

—Kalmar: I'm usually that person who has no idea what's going on.—

—Artham: Ok so, apparently the "bad vibes" I've been feeling are actually severe psychological distress.—

—Janner: Could you be anymore annoying?

Kalmar: Yes.—

—Arundelle: Where’s Artham ?

Leeli: Around.

Arundelle: Around?

Arundelle: You don’t have any idea, do you?

Artham , dropping down from above: Did you know there’s a space above the ceiling?— (He would totally do this and you can't change my mind)

—Nia: That's ridiculous, Esben doesn't have a crush on me.

Artham: Yes he does.

Arundelle: Yes he does.

Esben: Yes I do.—

—Nia, in a room with Esben, Arundelle, and Artham: It’s calm in here.

Nia: It scares me…

—Kalmar: The Ocean is a soup.

Janner:

Janner: Do elaborate.

Kal: What are needed for something to be a soup?

Janner: Erm... Water, salt, some form of vegetation, and personally I prefer some meat in mine.

Kal: *Tilts head*

Janner: The Ocean is a Soup.

Kalmar: The Ocean is a Soup.—

—Janner: I hope you have an explanation for this.

Kalmar: We have three, actually!

Maraly: Pick your favorite.—

—Kalmar: ATTENTION: I HAVE BREACHED CONTAINMENT.

Kalmar: DO NOT PANIC, I AM SIMPLY GETTING A SNACK.—

—Bonifer Squoon: Am I a good person? No. But do I try to be better every single day? Also no.—

anddd Imma stop here cause it's 3 am and I didn't realize how long this was lol. Enjoy

[a-suspicious-lack-of-bagel]

Smoothie: a very silly treatise

In my opinion, the perfect smoothie has 3 ingredients; these being bananas, milk, and spices. (Perhaps I should have said categories of ingredient!) I have several thoughts to share on this:

1. The equipment. There are many ways to process foods into a mush, and some are marketed specifically for use in smoothification! My personal choice, however, is a stick mixer. It does the job and it's handy for sauces and soups also. In terms of container; I use a tall, cylindrical plastic container (jug? vase? I'm not sure. It's food safe, anyway) with a diameter of about 8cm. If you use a different one, you might end up with more or less milk than I use - but my measuring methods are vague and not particularly repeatable and frankly, who cares.

2. The bananas. Bananas used for smoothie should be bordering on over-ripe. Ideally, they should be past the point where you don't want to take them for lunch (because you know they have insufficient structural integrity to survive your bag); but before the point where you put them in the freezer, thinking (optimistically) that one day they will be used for banana bread. Their role is to provide sweetness and texture. You can use 2, or 3, or however many your heart desires! Peel them, break them in half (they may do this themselves), and put them in the jug/container/whatever.

3. The milk. You can use whatever sort you like! When there's milk in our house, it's usually "light" cow's milk, so I use that. Personally I haven't found a non-dairy milk with a taste I like - because I don't like change, and I assume it would be very hard to get a plant milk to taste EXACTLY like cow's milk. Lactose free would be fine - you're not likely to notice the extra sweetness in something like a smoothie. In terms of amount, I like to mostly cover the bananas and leave about a dollar coin's height of banana sticking out. What's that, 3cm? Probably.

4. The spices. Which ones you use is up to you, but make your ancient ancestors proud. You want to use ground spices - the stick mixer won't grind things for you, and it looks pretty when they go into the milk! I always use chilli; often I also add cinnamon and ginger, paprika can also be good. Don't be afraid of using too much (though don't be excessive) - if your smoothie isn't brown at the end, you could Definitely have added more spices. Without the spices, a banana smoothie is OK - but rather bland. Then again, some people are wierd and don't like flavour in their food. They're wrong, but they're allowed to be wrong. You don't need spices! (But I think they're pretty good).

Now, some things ARE wrong - especially, adding more ingredients. Things you may be tempted to add, and shouldn't:

1. Mango. Why? The texture is viscous enough, the smoothie is sweet enough, and I don't think you're adding much to the flavour. You want a mango smoothie? Make one, don't hijack a banana smoothie.

2. Berries, or any other sort of fruit. See above - if you want those in your smoothie, you're making a different sort of smoothie and should leave the bananas out. As a side note, I'm not a fan of a mango smoothie, and I'd prefer to just eat the component fruits of almost any other smoothie.

3. Chocolate or coffee. They might complement the banana flavour, but again - if you want those in your drink, make a drink where they're the focus.

4. Honey. Why? It's sweet (and thick) enough already from the banana. Use the honey in tea or biscuits or something instead.

5. Oats. Again, why? The texture is perfectly fine already.

6. Any form of extra protein. There are other, yummier ways to get protein if you need it. If you're the sort of person who needs the extra protein in their smoothie, do Not be fooled - a liquid breakfast/post workout will Not sustain you for long enough! Take the time to EAT something, and you'll feel better overall, and food is delicious.

7. Vegetables or vitamins. See above - enjoy your smoothie, enjoy food, and get them somewhere else.

8. Ice. Your drink is a frappé now. By definition, it is no longer a smoothie.

9. Anything else. You surprise and confuse me; but if by some miracle I can eat whatever you're mixing in, I may yet be convinced.

Finally, if your bananas HAVE got to the "freeze them before they smell and make the other fruit go off" stage, or you're adding in frozen banana for whatever reason; remember that frozen banana is stickier than fresh banana! You may want to add more milk to balance this.

I'm sure a lot of people will disagree with me about some of this. That's fine! You're wrong, but you're allowed to be wrong (as long as you don't try to make your Smoothie Abominations near me, or feed them to me). I hope that someone at least finds this half as entertaining as it was to write!

[rotationalsymmetry]

it drives me crazy that people think of unhealthy food in terms of the presence of calories more than the absence of micronutrients.

Picture a hamburger. How healthy is it? Does it matter whether it has lettuce and pickles and sesame seeds on the bun? Because seeds are absolute powerhouses of nutrition and while it might be more optimal to have more vegetables, there is a huge difference between some veggies in a meal (and a meal that contains fat, so all those fat soluble nutrients will get absorbed properly) and literally no veggies. Living off of fast food burgers isn’t great for you, but living off of supermarket ramen (no veggies, no protein) will fuck you up way faster.

Picture ice cream. I know, a sometimes food, right? But think about a sundae with nuts and a cherry (not much fruit, but a little fruit) and damn, going out and having a sundae on purpose and taking your time with it is really not that bad for you, and if you have stuff on your sundae that gets you some of that plant nutrient stuff so much the better.

there’s no junk food. There’s just food, in a dazzling array of different types, and maybe healthy eating should be more about getting what’s good for your body than about ignoring what’s “bad” (ie, things that all people need but most people can easily get more than the optimum amount of) and maybe it’s ok to prioritize getting the stuff you need in ways that you actually like.

and maybe the number one driver of unhealthy eating is actually poverty, and maybe it is in powerful people’s interests to not call attention to that.

[thegeminisage]

sigh. tng update time. tuesday we did "sarek" and last night i sadly watched "menage a troi" on my own.

sarek: the fact that they mentioned his "son's wedding" once near the beginning and never clarified distracted me for the entire episode until i could google it. and google gave me no answers except to say that he married saavik in some semi-canonical novel. i hate that because saavik was his student (i guess aos had him right after all...) and also because of whatever horrible and weird thing they had going on in search for spock. WHICH BY THE WAY BROKE PREVIOUSLY ESTABLISHED CANON don't get me started

anyway, aside from that, this episode fucking ruled

i love the concept of vulcan dementia just being vulcan emotionalism. i wonder if it's genetic. i wonder if spock would've gotten it had he lived longer. i kind of wish spock had been the one following sarek around containing his emotions even though i wouldn't wish that fate on him cuz then i would've gotten to see him :(

less thrilled about the new wife. they could have had someone else play amanda if her real actress wasn't available (and she wasn't dead, i checked). if people live for like 150 years in the future there simply wasn't long enough for her to die and for sarek to have gotten remarried, especially if vulcans bond for life (which i guess was implied in some interpretations of amok time but not canonized).

actually, if sarek had once been bonded to someone as spock was to t'pring, how did HE wind up with a human wife...did he get remarried so quickly because of pon farr or does that wind down as vulcans get older...so many questions which will never be answered

anyway, i loved the sudden bursts of anger, it was so fun. uh except for beverly hitting her kid but it wasnt Her so we can move past it. especially thrilled with riker and picard almost getting into it

SAREK CRYING? ok king. i wish we had gotten to see spock cry and not in that deleted tmp scene

i loved picard's nerdery of him also. that makes the mind meld very fun. the rituals are literally intricate. also, "we shall always have the best parts of each other inside of us" i HOPE THATS TRUE FOR SPOCK AND KIRK AND BONES. i read an excerpt from a novel. well. i don't want to talk about it

anyway, picard calling out to spock and amanda...maybe i did well up a little at the mention of spock's name. who can say!!!!!

menage a troi: SSSSSSSSSSSIGH

ok, so i grabbed this one by myself because the summary looked bad and we're trying to finish s3 before chr*stmas fucks up all our social plans. no matter how bad the summary was, the actual episode was WORSE

i have three good things to say about this episode actually. the first was that i like that deanna yelled at her mom again, although this time i know better than to expect it to stick. the second was that i LOOOOVED deanna and riker's little date outfits. extremely charming. and finally i loved when lwaxana handed riker that horrible looking vegetable and he ate it with only mild reluctance. king is literally down to clown.

the rest of this ep was garbage. i know we didn't actually see any sex happen but i feel like they implied pretty heavily that the ferengi fucked her, possibly even multiple times. and like it's funny! ha ha ha look at the crazy situations this eccentric lady gets into! ha ha ha look at her and deanna having to run around naked!

somehow, this was the worst lwaxana episode yet. idk why i actually expected them to do a little better in s3. like, if i was gene roddenberry and they did this to my WIFE on MY SHOW. but you can put even odds on it being his idea or him getting off to it. his horrible little fetish fuel.

cherry on top was lwaxana's self-sacrifice at the end where she stays behind to let deanna escape sex slavery or whatever. which one felt like a classic narcissist parent thing and two wasn't even real - it was an excuse for picard to do badly-acted poetry on the bridge to pretend to be her jealous lover to get them to let her go. and then after all that she goes right back to sexually harassing HIM. because it's funny! ha ha ha!

anyway, it's a shame they had wes's little arc as the b plot of this episode because it was fine and feels important continuity wise, and yet every list on earth will rightfully suggest this episode get skipped because it fucking sucks.

tonight, the last two episodes of season 3 - "transfigurations" and "best of both worlds part i." i already know picard gets BORGED in the finale because i've known that since i was a baby and i am WAITING!!! they fucjing blue balled me in the first borg ep and i am MORE than ready for some brainwashed cyborg action. palette cleanser after lwaxana troi episodes.

[kollector-of-stims]

Do you think you could do a tour of your stim toys and where you got them from? :D

This sounded super fun, so YES! I just finished taking all the pictures and I'm ready to start! Here is all I'm going through, and for the tour itself begins....under the cut!😁🙌

In each image is labeled the place I got them from for all that I can remember. Also, I categorized them to the best of my ability!

First, we have: Various Absentminded Toys

A few of my favorite tools are here! And we even have cheap cat toys...Anyway, the favorites are definitely my precious infinity cube from Walmart, fidget cube from an old and now hard-to-find (or deleted) $5 and under stim toy post, and articulated octopus from Books A Million! Also some shots other than this one have stuff from Stimtastic...you will be missed 😣

Next category: Stretchy Toys!

The good ol' monkey noodles, funky caterpillars, other stretchy critters, and wiggly fruits and vegetables. The super realistic banana is from the tiktoker Mrs. Bench and I was mainly tempted to get one because of the YouTuber NerdECrafter 😂 Oh and also, the sand-filled carrot does NOT feel as good as the sand-filled banana, and I feel like that may be consistent.

Next category is: Articulated Fidgets!

Ok first off, I forgot to put the two from Cracker Barrel together, and same for the two from Books A Million. So, arrows. Second, I coulda put the octopus here in the first place but gathered this category later and had already taken the other picture, so I simply put it in here again! This is one of my favorite categories overall, as not only is the feel of these articulated animals good, their sound is too~ The small ones are SUPER handy since they're easier to take around!

Next up: Fidget Spinners!

Classics. Varying prongs and weights. The five pronged green one is one of the most satisfying to spin, along with the black one. The simple dimple one would honestly probably appeal more to me if simple dimples didn't hurt my fingers often (I bite my nails so, soreness). But the colors are still nice to see spin!

Next in line: Fun Textures!

(I forgot to label the tiny hedgehog- it came from a quarter machine in an asian restaurant)

Quiet and nice to rub my fingers across (or hold tightly as is the case with the alien). The purple piece up there with the green textures may look kinda weird, and its because it's a piece of a larger toy, an asmr fidget cube. It was my favorite side, so I separated it from the entire thing🤣. Also, the rainbow textured strip has suction cups along the bottom.

Next group: Putties!

I definitely favor putties over slime, mostly cause of texture and less mess. Simple silly putty eggs serve their purpose well, and so does crazy arins, but those can be hard to get out of their containers, and as a result, my super scarab putty is in a small jar instead!

Next: Visual Water Toys!

ERROR: THE SHARK CAME FROM FIVE BELOW, NOT BOOKS A MILLION)

The shark....Oooooh the shark...And the hourglass came from a cheap fidget toy box with like a pack of 30 (like some in previous images as well) but unfortunately due to little use, it's been growing mold or something inside of it, and I'm afraid that I cant fix that..so that's a downside😭.

Next, another small category: Noise Makers!

Cool and fun pop tubes and the clicker (that honestly makes my small weak hands a bit sore after a while). The pink one was a freebie with the realistic banana, and the small one...I for the life of me can't remember where I got it. I just put Walmart cause it sounds kind of familiar.

Next and last of the small categories: Wacky Tracks and Similar!

The one from Stimtastic is my ultimate favorite of them all, and while the twittle turned out to not be as pleasing as I planned, I also noticed another kind that looked similar but had slightly different shaped joints and I'm honestly tempted to try that one too. The big one came from one of my cousins who gave it to me after I asked who's it was, and it's not bad! The cheaper ones however can be harder to clack and are more prone to pinching.

Next: Pop-its!

I guess this is a smaller category, but the toys definitely have a big impact. Another favorite of mine, especially the smaller ones! The cow is a cheaper one that came from walmart as opposed to ordered from a better brand I've seen, so its front poppers don't work, but the back ones do (The suction cups on the bottom of it are AWESOME regardless though). And the unicorn pop it ball meant a lot to me not only cause it came from the Stuckey's store my aunt is a manager of, but also because its the first pop-it ball I ever tried that I was able to pop in all poppers on!

Next category, Squishable Toys!

(Not shown are my squishy owl and penguin cause I forgot them, but they stay with me often in my handbag! I also have tons of squishies but many enough to be considered their own collection)

Stress balls of various kinds one could say. The little sticky wall-climbing balls near the top are in a plastic bag to keep them sticky, and they remind me of the larger versions I had as a kid! Splat balls are a favorite of mine that I honestly dont use enough, partially cause I dont wanna pop them, but the shark is my favorite out of this entire category as it feels like the "dehydrated" dna ball from walmart, but with that soft cover.

Second to last: Fidget Brand Toys!

Basically in my mind "toys either made by fidget specific companies or have fidget in the name" I guess. Also common fidget toys you may see specifically in the fidget toy isle in Walmart. For some reason I cant recall any of those common fidget brands right now, but I do know how they have their own exclusive section in our Walmart nearby. Then the squirkies all came from books a million, in a smaller section they had. Love them!

And lastly: Plushies!

I have TONS of plushies obviously, but the ones I'd say I "fidget" with are the cats vs pickles and my one aurora palm pal cat! Small and soft and weighted with beans fits every single one of these, and the weight, crunch, and feel are just so nice! I feel as if they're good to collect for me, and once dragon kitty comes out, I plan to find it, and I also kind of want another palm pal sometime too!

🎉AND THAT CONCLUDES MY STIM TOY TOUR!🎉

It was fun to put together, and I love showing my toys as much as I love seeing others', but if you still have questions (or anyone does), feel free to ask about anything here!

[scenetocause]

ok very important discourse at work here

i see the vision for indomie as a breakfast noodle because it's just small enough to be breakfast sized and goes perfectly with an egg. nissin and shin hit diff cus the noodles are phatter therefore it's like a lunch onwards noodle pour moi.

the food u recc'd sounds DELICIOUS ugh

oscar's vibe as nerd who does NOT get beat up help. ur so right. that bigass forehead containing his bigass engineering brain is hard-carrying his school false bullying flag vibes. i think there's an au somewhere where he is a black belt like, literal karate kid but nobody believes him until he is compelled to throw down

god help us all anon you've unleashed my noodle views haha. that is exactly the logic for indomie being breakfast noodles, it's just the perfect amount with an egg and some spring onion and coriander and chilli and whatever else i have lying around (sometimes a little freshly chopped tomato, as a nod to whatever the uk does to its breakfast). the best indomie flavour is hot pepper chicken but i accept alternatives.

there's then the lunch/dinner noodle lineup, which is a wide range of things. i love sesame noodles so much but the packs are always too big and i realised eventually i could just buy noodles and sesame oil and you know, make my own like some sort of adult who can cook. i am also a big fan of the (very questionable) instant pho packs because for some reason you can't get any decent pho where i live but you can vicariously create a goblin version in your own kitchen with enough added vegetables and herbs and chilli. my favourite ever instant noodles are a brand called lolo that i think is thai and actually waiwai (?) but the shop stopped doing them and i'm fuming. there was like a lemon hot and sour soup flavour one that slaps.

late at night many noodle options may appeal but it is actually only the mama creamy shrimp tom yum or the kraft cheesy chatt patta that will do. basically i would like to live somewhere i could get a 2am laksa but unfortunately london is uncivilised and at that time of night i am not fannying around making anything.

i have had to wean myself off buying the buldak ones they are simply not that nice and there are lots of other very spicy noodles or you can just add more chillis and stuff. maybe that's a bad opinion. they just seem like they are made for youtubers now.

come here for the longread fisting fic, get subjected to the noodle chat ig

[fishthegenderwitch]

Ok so I saw another ad for this so this time I went and looked it up. Apparently some people are putting Vicks vaporub on their faces, believing that the cooling sensation of the medicated ointment tightens sagging skin.

It does not.

Pictured: lies

I read the following here:

"While there have been anecdotal reports of individuals successfully using Vicks VapoRub to tighten their skin, there is no scientific evidence to support these claims. In fact, the product's primary purpose is to provide relief for congestion and minor aches, not to improve skin appearance or reverse skin ageing.

The skin-tightening effects experienced by some users may simply be a placebo effect or a temporary tightening sensation due to the product's cooling ingredients.

It is also worth noting that Vicks VapoRub is not intended for use on the skin, especially not on the face, as it may cause skin irritation or even a burning sensation in sensitive areas. Applying Vicks VapoRub on the face or other sensitive skin areas may result in redness, irritation, or an allergic reaction.

Instead of relying on a product not specifically designed for skin care, like Vicks VapoRub, it is best to explore safer and more effective alternatives for treating saggy skin and skin wrinkles. Some of these options include:

Topical treatments

Products containing retinol or peptides can boost collagen production and improve skin elasticity. Be sure to choose a product designed for your skin type and follow the instructions carefully.

Regular exfoliation

Removing dead skin cells through exfoliation can help improve skin texture and reduce the appearance of wrinkles. Opt for a gentle exfoliator that suits your skin type and use it consistently for the best results.

Moisturize daily

Keeping your skin hydrated can help maintain its elasticity and minimize the appearance of sagging. Choose a quality moisturizer that suits your skin type and make sure to apply it regularly.

Protect your skin from the sun

Sun exposure can cause premature skin ageing and increase the likelihood of sagging skin. Always wear sunscreen with an SPF of at least 30, even on cloudy days, and consider wearing a wide-brimmed hat and sunglasses for added protection.

Maintain a healthy diet

A well-balanced diet rich in antioxidants, vitamins, and minerals can help keep your skin looking youthful and healthy. Make sure to consume plenty of fruits, vegetables, lean proteins, and healthy fats to support your skin's health.

Stay hydrated

Drinking enough water is crucial for overall health, including the appearance of your skin. Dehydration can make skin appear dull and exacerbate sagging. Aim for at least eight glasses of water per day to keep your skin looking radiant and supple.

Exercise regularly

Physical activity can improve blood circulation, which is essential for maintaining healthy skin. It can also help tone your muscles, giving your skin a firmer appearance."

Don't put mentholated medications on your facial skin, people.❤️

[dietdrclinic]

Gluten-free food options

Ever wondered if that ice-cold Coco-Cola you were eying up is gluten-free? Ever wanted to know if pizza and pasta are gluten-free? How about your favorite cheeseburger and fries? How about the Vodka and Beer? Whatever it is that you are looking for, we got you covered in this list of gluten-free foods. A gluten-free foods list can be a valuable resource. You have been spending hours and hours navigating stores and restaurants to find gluten-free food options and it may be really challenging at times. Therefore on hand, the gluten-free foods list below might help you know what to look for (and what to look out for) when choosing grains and other foods that may contain gluten. Below are a few things to look out for when you're buying gluten-free foods. 1. Gluten-Free Whole Grains: Oats, Cereals, Bread, and More…

Grains (including bread, pasta, rice, and crackers), specifically whole grains, are an important part of a healthy diet. Whole grains are a good source of healthy carbohydrates, providing energy to get you through the day. Most whole grains are high in fiber, which keeps you full and helps with digestion. Though many grains have gluten, a wide variety is naturally gluten-free.

Naturally Gluten-Free Grains & Starches: Rice Quinoa Millet Oats (use oats labeled "gluten-free," as oats are often cross-contaminated with wheat and barley.) Cassava/Yuca Sorghum Teff Corn Buckwheat Amaranth Potatoes and potato flour

2. Gluten-Free Vegetables & Fruits All fresh, whole vegetables and fruits are naturally gluten-free and important to include in a gluten-free diet. Organic local produce mostly delivers a variety of vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants. However, you need to look out for sneaky gluten once you move out of the produce aisle. Plain fresh and frozen (without sauce) vegetables are all gluten-free, but make sure to double-check ingredient lists on packages to be sure. When buying canned veggies, buy those packed with water or natural juices (typically the healthier option anyway). Here's what to look out for when selecting gluten-free fruit and vegetables.

What to Avoid When Shopping for Fruits and Vegetables: Hydrolyzed wheat protein Modified food starch: Check the label if it does not specify what type of starch is used, and check with the manufacturer, as it may be wheat. Malt: Including malt syrup, malt vinegar, malt extract, malt flavoring Gluten stabilizer Maltodextrin: This is OK when made from corn, potato, or rice starch. If it is made from wheat, it will be labeled: you may have a reaction, though many claim the gluten is destroyed in processing.

Safe Ingredients: Corn-starch Potato starch/potato starch flour Distilled vinegar Mono- and diglycerides Oat gum Citric acid, lactic acid, and malic acid

3. Gluten-Free Proteins Most protein sources-both animal and vegetable proteins-are naturally gluten-free. You may use the below list to help you decide which proteins can fit into a gluten-free diet. Naturally Gluten-Free Proteins: Red meat: Fresh beef, pork, lamb, goat, bison, duck, etc. (Avoid marinades as if gluten is added it might sneak into your meat) Poultry: Fresh chicken and turkey (Check if any marination is added) Seafood: Fresh fish, scallops, lobster, clams and more are all naturally gluten-free. (Check if any marination is added) Tofu: It's made from soy, which is gluten-free, but check for any additional ingredients with gluten. Beans Nuts and seeds

Proteins That Need a Second Look: Processed meats: Including hot dogs, pepperoni, sausage, etc. These may have gluten added, so be sure to check the ingredient list and avoid those with wheat gluten, wheat starch, or wheat dextrin. Cold cuts: Cross-contamination can also happen at the deli on the meat slicer. Cold cuts may have gluten-containing ingredients added Ground meat: Ground beef or ground turkey can have gluten added in as filler. Be sure to check the ingredients carefully. Veggie burgers and other meat substitutes: Some flavors and brands are made with ingredients that contain gluten-check the labels.

4. Gluten-Free Sauces, Spices, and Condiments In many common condiments, gluten-containing ingredients can be used as thickeners, stabilizers, or flavor enhancers. Wheat flour is a common thickener in many sauces and marinades, which means they contain gluten. Look out for cross-contamination once these items are in your home. For example, a knife that spreads mustard on wheat bread shouldn't be dipped back into the mustard jar if you want it to stay gluten-free.

Sauces, Spices, and Condiments That Are Usually Safe: Mustard: Some specialty or flavored mustards may contain gluten so always check the ingredients. Mayonnaise: Check the ingredients to be sure though typically not made with gluten. Dry spices: Single-ingredient herbs and spices (think dried basil, garlic powder, chili powder) do not contain gluten, though because of cross-contamination concerns it's best to look for specifically labeled gluten-free spices or check with the manufacturer.

Sauces, Spices, and Condiments That Need a Second Look: Ketchup and Worcestershire sauce: Both condiments can be made using malt vinegar, which is not gluten-free. Double-check the ingredients. Barbecue sauce: Avoid BBQ sauces made with barley-based beer, soy sauce, malt vinegar, and barley malt flour as these typically contain gluten. Soy sauce: Soy sauce is traditionally made with wheat, so it usually is not gluten-free unless otherwise marked. Malt vinegar: Malt vinegar is mostly found in some salad dressings and sauces and it's not gluten-free. However, white vinegar, distilled vinegar, and apple cider vinegar are all gluten-free.

5. Gluten-Free Desserts & Sweets Many sweets and desserts are made with wheat flour or other ingredients with gluten. Be mindful that gluten-free sweets are not necessarily healthier for you than regular treats but they might prevent a bad reaction if you are sensitive to gluten.

Sweets That Are Usually Safe: Chocolate: Chocolate does not naturally contain gluten. There is also a risk of cross-contamination, so it's best to check the label on the chocolate. Hard candy and gummies: Candies don’t usually contain gluten; avoid those listing "wheat flour" as an ingredient. Ice cream, sherbet, gelato, frozen yogurt: These treats are generally gluten-free, but steer clear of those with pretzels, cookie dough, graham crackers, brownie bites, and other gluten-containing add-ins. Sweets to Avoid: Grain-based desserts: Cookies, cakes, brownies, pies, doughnuts, pastries, cheesecake, etc. are almost always made with gluten unless marked "gluten-free." Licorice: Sweet candy may be made with wheat flour and therefore is not gluten-free unless otherwise noted on the packaging. Barley malt: Avoid sweets made with this ingredient, which is used to sweeten some candies and chocolates.

6. Gluten-Free Drinks and Beverages Water, of course, is naturally gluten-free and is your best healthy way to stay hydrated. For all prepared beverages, be sure to check the ingredients, as variations and blends may contain gluten.

Drinks and Beverages That Are Usually Safe: • Coffee and tea: These beverages are both naturally gluten-free, but if you're sensitive to gluten it's best to check and make sure there was no cross-contamination with your coffee beans or tea leaves or added ingredients in blended beverages. • Juices, sodas, and sports drinks: Check the label to be safe, but these generally won't have added gluten-containing ingredients