#ok yes I love Jess and Nick sure

[howblunt]

The only reason they made Paul and Jess not work out was because they hate me

[hvaneyflowers]

The Secret

PART 2

Alden Parker x Jessica Knight

Summary: The team finds out about the Parkers.

*****

Jessica cried in the bathroom. Flashbacks of Parker leaving with his ex-wife to a safer place hit her over and over again. She didn't know how she would live without him, the love of her life and the father of her three children. She was scared.

Last week, she was having a movie night with her family. All was well and they were so happy, but now, it wasn't like that. All to The Raven.

When she stopped crying, she tried to fix herself to appear more ‘ok’. After Parker and she found out that the FBI was recording in their house, she understood that her kids were in big danger and that she needed the help of her team, even if that means revealing the truth.

Will they get angry? Yes, they will. Will they be surprised and in shock? Absolutely, yes. Will Palmer hate her? Maybe yes, or maybe he would act like a grown-up and accept the fact that she is married and in love with his boss.

After what happened in the woods a couple of days earlier, Palmer told her about his feelings toward her. Even if she told him they couldn't be together, she felt sorry for breaking his heart. Parker was surprised about it when she told him, and although he was a little angry when he knew that Palmer kissed her, he understood his feelings, what man on earth couldn't fall in love with his wife? She was gorgeous, fantastic, sexy, kind, loving, caring, a bunch of happiness, and very sexy. She was everything.

"Jess? Are you alright?" Jimmy's voice brought her out of her thoughts. He was standing there with his smile, Jessica wanted to punch that smile away. How on earth he can be so happy knowing that her husband is in danger? "Are you ok? You look white as a ghost" 

"Where are the others? I need to tell them something important" she ignored his questions.

"They are with Kasie, I came for you, we're talking about what comes next with, you know," he told her "Are you sure you are ok?" 

She didn't take a minute to answer when she started running to the laboratory. She was in a state of not knowing what to say but need to do it. When she got into the laboratory, all her friends were there, she knew that it was now or never.

"I need to tell you something" she announced when she entered.

"Jess! Jess! Calm down, you need to calm down, I don't think you are ok" Jimmy's voice came behind her. His hand rested on her shoulder but she put it away and walked next to Tim in the middle of the laboratory.

"What is that important thing you need to tell us, Agent Knight?" asked director Vance coming behind Jimmy.

"It's really important for what I see," said Kasie.

"Well... it's complicated to tell" she started, her hands shaking "I have a secret, a very big secret, and if I keep it, there will be people in more danger than they are now" her eyes began to fill with tears just thinking about her children and the danger they were in.

Jimmy walked towards her and put his hands on her shoulders "Jess, breathed in, you don't need to do this" 

"But I do... Parker and I are married" she said, as simple as it was.

The room kept silent. Jimmy's hands left her shoulders and his face was indescribable. Everyone in the room was shocked, even Director Vance, although he saw it coming. One night, as he was leaving the building, he saw Knight and Parker kissing in the parking lot. He was surprised, he had never thought about the possibility of them together, but three days later, he saw them in a McDonald's with three little kids. Even though it was strange to hear, he was happy that his suspicions were correct.

"What?" Jimmy asked after a while. He was in such shock, he kissed his boss's wife! Damn it!

"Are you joking? You and Parker are married?" asked Nick in the same state as Jimmy.

"Yes, we are" 

"But, how?" asked Kasie. She was hurt that her friend hadn't told her but she wanted to know about her boss and friend's relationship. Ohh, it will be amazing.

"We met at a conference about national security while we were working, I was with NCIS REACT, and he was in the FBI. We both felt instantly attracted to each other and we had an adventure for three days. After that, I got pregnant and we met again and decided to start a family, together, with our kids" she explained.

"Wait, are you saying that you and Parker had kids?" asked Nick.

"Yes, we have children, three to be exact" she smiled.

"I need to go now," said Jimmy leaving the room.

"With The Raven out there, you and the kids are in danger," said director Vance.

"I know. That's why I'm telling you this, Parker and I need your help to protect our babies" she cried.

"Oh, it's ok Jess, you and the kids will be ok" Kasie comforted her.

"Kasie is right, we're not gonna let The Raven hurt you, the four of you," Tim told her.

"Agent McGee, agent Torres, please take agent Knight and her kids into protective custody, there will be a security house just for them" ordered director Vance "Agent Knight, don't worry, everything will be fine" 

"Thank you so much, it means a lot," she told them.

"Not a problem" Tim smiled.

"So... you're a mother" Kasie smiled.

"I am" she laughed.

"Where are your kids? They weren't in the apartment or any photographs of them, why?" Nick asked.

"Oh, there are photographs of them in the apartment, but they weren't there because you were coming" 

"Why did you hide this from us?" asked McGee with a hurtful face. He thought they were good friends but now, he didn't know what to think. If she had told him, he would be there for her, the kids, and Parker.

"We were going to do it, but we heard about rule number 12 and we knew how badly you respect Gibbs's rules, so we thought you would be upset or something if we told you, that's why we didn't tell you, no because we didn't want to, but for that", she explained.

"I understand, but you and Parker need to know that we aren't going anywhere, we are here for you and the children" 

"And when are we meeting the kids?" Kasie asked with a smile.

"Well... they're with a friend but are coming right now," she told them.

A couple of minutes after, two boys and a little girl entered the building. They were searching for their mother and father.

"Mommy!" yelled the little girl as she was running towards her mother.

Jessica took her in her arms and kissed her on the cheek. The boys run after her sister and hugged their mother. McGee and Nick stayed back with little smiles on their faces.

"Mommy, where's daddy?" asked the little girl.

Jessica's heart broke when she heard that, she didn't know how to tell them what was happening.

"Well, daddy's on a special mission, he needs to hide for a couple of days to find a bad man," she told them, even if it wasn't all the truth, it was half of it.

"Daddy's going to be ok?" her son asked.

"Yes, for sure, he's going to be back with us faster than you can imagine" she smiled hoping for that to come true.

 "Now, I'm going to introduce you to my friends, they are Special Agent Nick Torres and Special Agent Tim McGee. Tim, Nick, they're my children. He is Alden Selim, but we call him just Selim, on this way we have Matteo, and this is little Ayse Charlotte, just Ayse" Jessica introduced her children.

McGee couldn't help but noticed that Selim and Matteo were copies of his boss, and Ayse was the mini-me of her mother. The twins had curly brown hair and Parker's eyes, meanwhile, Ayse had long curly black hair and the eyes of her mother. They were so cute.

"Hi kids, how are you doing?" asked Torres awkwardly, he wasn't the best with kids, apart from Jimmy's daughter, he was the worst.

"Fine, thank you for asking" one of the twins answered.

"They are incredible, Jess, congrats," said McGee with a smile.

"Thanks, Tim" Jessica smiled proudly at hearing that.

"I'm sorry for interrupting this but, Agent Knight it's time to go to the security house" director Vance appeared out of nowhere.

"Are we moving, mommy?" Selim asked.

"Just only for a couple of days, until daddy returns home" she clarified.

"Ok,"

Later that day, Jessica and her children were driven to a secure place in Washington. It wasn't as bad as other security houses. She thought that because of her kids, Director Vance wanted them to be more comfortable.

"Can we talk to daddy?" asked Matteo.

"I'm afraid of no, baby, but I promise you that he is ok, he'll be ok," she told him kissing his forehead "Good night my little star" she smiled before turning off the lights.

Outside her children's room, Jessica cried in silence. She wanted her husband more than anything in the world, she needed him and she was sure he felt the same, wherever he was. 

[best-chaotic-neutral]

I wrote a fanfic of my Deputy and Sharky, and it’s kinda long but I hope y’all enjoy it

It had been about two years since Deputy Ryder Reid freed Hope County from the iron grip of the Edens Gate cult. Since then he had settled in the Henbane River region with his boyfriend Sharky as they helped to rebuild Hope County from the destruction that Eden's Gate had caused. One morning, he rose later than usual and walked into the kitchen. There he saw Sharky cooking breakfast, still dressed in pajamas and shaking his hips to his beloved disco playlist as he cooked. Sharky looked over at Ryder, “mornin’ babe! The early bird may get the worm but you know what the late bird gets? Extra bacon with his pancakes!” he said as he set a plate of food down on the table.

Ryder laughed and sat down, Sharky was usually a very bubbly and joyful man but something had him extra cheerful today. He couldn't quite put his finger on it though, he would have to wait and find out. Shaky sat next to him and poured him a drink, “and a nice tall glass of the finest chocolate milk, I know you love your chocolate” he giggled. Ryder took a sip and smiled, “oh man, this is some great stuff. Thanks for making breakfast love”. Sharky blushed and looked away, “aw heck, it’s nothin’, I can’t let you have all the fun when it comes to cooking” he replied. After the two ate their breakfast and cleaned up it was time to shed their pajamas for some more respectable public clothes. While Sharky always kept it simple, old jeans and a green sweater, Ryder preferred to dress for the season, and the cold October wind blowing through the county meant that it was old flannel shirt season. “So what’s on the agenda for today love?” Ryder asked. “Well, today I have a little somethin’ planned for us. We’re going to Nick’s place for a pumpkin carving contest. All our buddies are going to be there, even Jess” Sharky replied excitedly. Ryder snorted, “even Jess huh? I’m surprised, she normally likes her solitude. I’ll be happy to see her though''.

Before they knew it the two men were already at their destination. They hopped out of the car and headed over to the house where Nick had a big pile of pumpkins ready for carving. “Sharky! Ryder! So happy to see y’all!” Nick said as he pulled them in for a hug. Sure enough, all of the couple’s friends were there. After some friendly mingling, it was time for the main event.

Everyone was handed a knife and they began to carve away at the festive squashes. Not so much as a minute after Ryder had cut the top off his pumpkin a cry rang out from across the table, it was Hurk. Judging from the blood coming from his hand he must’ve cut himself pretty good with his knife. “Owie owie owww!” Hurk cried. Ryder grabbed a rag and pressed it firmly against the wound and Nick came rushing out of the house with gauze and bandages, “you’re gonna be ok Hurk, I’ve got you” he said as he began to wrap his friends hand in a bandage.

“Owie owie owww!” Hurk cried as he squirmed. “Hey now, hold still Hurk” Nick said as Hurk continued to squirm in pain. Ryder took Hurks other hand and rubbed his back. “Shhh, it will be alright Hurkie, the wound didn’t look too bad. Just let Nick bandage it and you’ll be alright” he said softly. Hurk seemed to take his advice and eventually stopped squirming and Nick finished bandaging his hand. Ryder turned back to his pumpkin and began to scoop out the guts when he noticed something shiny and silver in the pumpkin.

Out of curiosity he picked it up and examined it, and that’s when he heard a thump and an uncomfortable groan from Sharky. Ryder turned to see what the matter was when he saw Sharky down on one knee, and then it hit him. The silver thing he had yet to inspect was a ring! He wiped the piece of jewelry off on his shirt and gave it a closer look as tears began to well up in his eyes. “Ryder, we’ve known each other for two years now and have like, literally been through a war with Peggies together. Will you marry me?” Sharky asked. “Y-yes, absolutely I will” Ryder replied, cupping Sharky’s face and kissing him.

“But please don’t tell me that you had Hurk cut his hand on purpose just to hide the ring” Ryder said sternly. “Naw man, I just gots to work on my knife skills, or try not to get too fancy with my shapes. Hey Sharky, can I be bestest man-cousin-person at your wedding?” Hurk asked. Ryder laughed and patted Hurk on the back, “hey if he doesn’t let you I’ll totally let you be mine”. “Is that even a question, broski? Of course you can bro! It can’t be a special day without my favorite cuz there” Sharky replied. Soon they all got back to chatting and carving and eventually it was time to announce the winner.

[sometipsygnostalgic]

adventure time wizard city liveblog

 well here we go

my last adventure time liveblog, i havent actually done one of these in MANY years... probably not since 2014

this takes place at the same time as obsidian?

DID-- DID CHOOSE GOOSE JUST DIE

DID BUFO JUST KILL CHOOSE GOOSE

yeah i know that’s bufo, they only made it enormously obvious, tsk tsk

@spaceacepearl​ joked about us seeing choose goose get sent to hell but i diDNT EXPECT IT TO HAPPEN

This music is i assume by one of the many musical artists Adam Muto listed on twitter, it rocks. It’s not as hardcore as Obsidian’s intro, but it’s suitably chill for the scene. 

“get offa my bus kid”

Those wizards in the left and far right groups appear to be new! 

OH MY GOD--

HELP?????? NEW PROFILE PIC TIME

HAHAHAHAH

THE MUSICAL CON DID ME GOOD, I DID REALLY LOUD AUDIBLE LAUGHTER

i bet hanna and co had fun making these signs

my favourite is the cat with “FAMILIARS HAVE RIGHTS”

cadorka..... wow

We’re not even four minutes into the ep and peppermint butler has already killed someone in front of a large group of witnesses

“this smells of DARK MAGIC” “yall kids know thats illegal right” peps watches the other kids nod before later joining in, LOL

i cant believe pep started the great gum wars and got killed by golb

SOMEONE has been playing Overwatch... 

i-- i still cant believe choose goose is fucking dead

how long was he stuck in hell for, or was that recent to together again after new death showed up 

i have to admit im not a big fan of spader, too perfect, and not in that funny way either. i hope they give him some characteristics that make him stand out. 

im getting flashbacks to OK KO and Owl House here...

Cadebra using music is a reference to Abracadaniel’s love of interpretetive dance in Play Date. 

“they only laugh because youre different” “i know” “SO STOP BEING DIFFERENT” oh my god it’s like talking to my own parents cadebra is actually... a LOT like me, less in her hyperactivity but more in her nonchalant enthusiasm and almost acceptance of the inevitable bullying because it means more time in people’s consciousness

ahhh - it’s quietly revealed here that she is responsible and a skilled magician, she is just bored of magic! i like that she parents abracadaniel instead of being downtrodden by his ramblings. 

PEP NO--- oh i see the problem, he hasn’t got his Bug Milk... sorry Martin Olsen fans, no Hunson today. At least we get one more Phil Face for the road! 

candy people in their natural habitat

Ahhh that’s Doctor Calidoneus! The voice actor was at the recent Distant Lands panel alongside Pep and Blaine’s actors. 

“pretty sure hes just trashcandy” - i like you, sassy antler lady

the mystery of how he gets clothes

and once again spader is proving to be the most irritating distant lands character of the lot, there is no subversion here. where is the subversion?  

NANI

what is going on here? are pep and peppermint the same person or not? im sure they must be, but there is something going on here with peppermint butler’s soul being trapped in the body of his child self who hasn’t got the same memories. 

OH, HYNDEN WALCH DID A NEW LINE yes this is what im here for, special over 

peppermint butler cursed himself... of course he did - Shado was correct!!!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT THE FUCK

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

ROCK STUDENT, BLESSED ROCK STUDENT, WAS THAT POOR GUY WHO LOOKS LIKE A JAWBREAKER

love the reference to astral plane, of course pep cant astrally project because cursed pep is still inside of him 

wow, blaine, wow

they have a crush

LITTLE DUDE! COLE SANCHEZ!

i love the dynamic between cadebra and abracadaniel, imo so far it’s the heart of the special. im not really gripped by peppermint butler’s school troubles. i imagine someone else probably will be but i want to run past that shit as far as possible. 

TRDGFYGHJH

WE

WE MADE  A PREDICTION THAT WAS JUST LIKE THIS

PEPPERMINT BUTLER GETTING TURNED INTO THE FOUR COMPONENTS OF PEPPER MINT BUTT LURE WAS IN THE WIZARD CITY PREDICTIONS ART DRAW THAT HASNT BEEN POSTED YET

ILL SHOW YOU WHEN NICK POSTS THE VIDEO and then ill tell you who made the prediction because i... think it was nick himself, insanity 

who plagiarized finn’s signature???

turns out pep really DID take over wizard city!!!!

i love this band

i understand your pain peps

you probably have a bit too much in common with your mother, and i imagine it isn’t easy being turned into a kid and not being able to do stuff that came so easy. you’re disappointing yourself! (he’s literally disappointing himself)

I’m less than halfway through the special, what the fuck. I wasn’t wrong when I said Wizard City had a lot on its plate. It’s noit that I’ve been particularly gripped up to this point, though to be fair I didn’t pause at all during the other specials barring Obsidian. 

that... that poor kid is still a rock

and then the preview happened and bufo casually revealed to the audience that, yes, he killed choose goose

i dont know whats happening with pep but it seems he needs to be exorcised of... pep. which is a shame. i hope they learn to coexist. 

i have to say the background work in this special is really good! like, really damn good. 

WH

WHAT

DID SPADER JUST DIE

IS THIS WHY PEOPLE THINK PEPBUT KILLED HIM 

oh thats right - abracadaniel is cadebra’s uncle! this must be abracadniels sister. sorry, folks, he doesn’t fuck. 

Where are they? Is this anywhere near Wizard City? It’s an unpopulated prewar wasteland. 

THESE ARE JUST HUMANS

OF COURSE SHE WANTS TO PERFORM TO MILQUETOAST HUMANS

my child

is this an art style choice or did they get the people from that one studio to make this

HANNA FINALLY GETS TO FULFIL HER DREAM OF INSERTING KANEDA INTO ADVENTURE TIME

the red jacket he wears and his head pill shape is a big kaneda reference actually, which i suppose makes sense considering he’s a rival to our protagonist, but it’s a bit on the nose

bufo killed one of his own students? but why????

“MY UNCLE’S A COP”

“no one likes a rat”

i actually really like blaine, though im confused. did their VA change halfway through the special?

HOW NATURAL, NO WASTE, IT IS AN ENDLESS CHAIN

did doctor caledonius steal the trophy,,,? 

EVIL SNAIL EVIL SNAIL

MONMSTER HUNJTER DISCOVERY NOISE, this time it’s a tetsucabra

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I HAVE QUESTIONS

god i wish this is what this special was about, i miss adventure time

these remind me of the comics with their art style :) i wonder who designed them? the one on the right with pb and pep, in particular, very comics-y. 

fdgfhgf because he’s like 500

“pep can be kind of a jerk but he wouldn’t kill anyone”

sorry, cadebra, i have news for you

is doctor calednoius the true villain? if bufo’s out of the picture, she MUST be, 

ANTS

oh no, he might gbe stuck in wizard city :( 

HELP

the writing on the wall...

SPADER LITERALLY FUCKING DIED OH YM JESUS CHRIST

PEPPERMINT BUTLER’S OWN CULT????

THIS IS JUST OK KO NOW

okay im not surprised all the teachers at wizard city are cultists in worship of peps, maybe they killed spader and bufo because they bullied peps T_T

wait no, they thought spader had the potential, but sadly not

HE FUCKING KILLED HIMSELF

sorry, i was distracted by the pretty dope fight sequence and now the special is over????

fucking jesse, hes probably at least partly responsible for the cult nonsense

This credits art is by Maya Petersen!!!! Holy shit it’s adorable!

LRETGFDRGTFGMHGFHFG

LEAF MAN

DO YOU THINK THEY PUT HIM IN RETROSPECTIVELY

DO YOU THINK MAYA PETERSEN DREW THIS AND ADAM PUT IT IN THE EP RETROSPECTIVELY

HE LIVES

MAYBE THIS IS WHY CHOOSE GOOSE WENT TO HELL

okay, it’s over :) 

first thoughts out of the way: not a big fan of this special. it’s like watching a completely different show. it’s not got the PZSHAHH of the normal wizard city stuff and there weren’t a lot of funny jokes or even hearty moments in the thing. 

it suffers from a lack of invested character interactions, much like BMO did. there was not a single main cast member in the whole thing! and like i said before, much of peppermint butler’s character in the show is based on his very sweet relationship to his mother, princess bubblegum, so when they showed a single (hilarious) photo of them together it made me sad we didn’t get any scenes with them together. it would have STOLEN this episode. and they teased the hunson golf photo, and death!!! and jake appeared in a photo T_T last jake appearance. 

it also suffers because Peppermint Butler is clearly not himself, imo he was way more entertaining in the Together Again special, where we seem him back to his “normal” self. 

i dont think peps being a dark wizard was something to “kill off” exactly. i wonder what was going on there? was that actually peps, or was that a spirit he cursed himself with based on himself? we at least know in the future he does become a dark wizard again, and even princess :) this special didn’t answer those questions but lol. 

THE GOOD STUFF, because yes, there was a lot of good stuff! 

God, I’m with Aracle and Maya on this - I LOVE Cadebra and her relationship to Pep. I wish she was even in more of this - I would love to watch the adventures of Cadebra and Pepbut in their first year of school, like in the end credits.

That, imo, is where the heart of the special lay - Peppermint Butler’s attempts to impress himself, versus Cadebra’s self acceptance and desire to follow her dreams of being a goofy goober, no matter what other people thought of her. 

It turned out that Cadebra is a responsible student and family member. I really liked that. Her scenes with Abracadaniel were, somehow, my favourite in the entire special! 

I like that theres a lot of cool magic towards the end of this special, and a lot of HORRIFYING DEATH. It wouldn’t be adventure time if you didn’t randomly kill off child characters. Poor Spader, I hated you but damn, what a grim fate. 

I like that Bufo and Caledonius had this crush/hatred thing going on, but they were part of the same cult in the end. 

I didn’t like the giant peps scene at the end, the monster was extremely milquetoast compared to the madness we usually get in AT. Obsidian, for example, had the awesome Larvo design. Nemesis had some INSANE dark magic!!!!  I wish they drew more from that episode. 

Considering how much Steve Little appears in this special, I do feel bad for Mace (little Peps). He said he would have really benefitted from coaching, but recieved none. He had to re-record his lines 3 times! Judging from his description of events, Wizard City was a hard time for him. 

The wizard school did remind me, heavily, of both The Owl House and OK KO. Personally I was hoping AT would offer me something more insane, but I do love both of those shows, and I know Wizard City was on a really tight schedule. 

I think they should have spent less time on the school bullying plot, and skipped straight to MURDER. 

We did have a cold opening, not on par with Together Again’s at all, but damn!

I am wondering where I would put this in the watch list? I do think it should sit after Obsidian as the third special. The intro scene makes it clear this takes place at the same time as Obsidian!!!

Well, that was it, the last ep of AT for the next few years at least T_T

i think together again was the better finale, definitely. but wizard city feels pretty detached from AT for me, despite the familiar characters it tonally isn’t like the show other than the awesome brutal death scenes. I thought the last 11 minutes was easily the best in the special! Which, honestly, is how it should be, though I do wish it gripped me more. Maybe I’m just not the target audience for Wizard City? It feels like something I would find very compelling if I was a bit younger! 

[evolmaze]

not like this

summary - you go to a party ready to hang out with your friends, but your best friend has other ideas that involve you, a closet, seven minutes, and a close friend you swore you’d never tell

pairing - jin x reader ft. other members of bts and other o.c.s!

genre - fluff, angst | ftl!au, nonidol!au

word count - 5.0k words

warnings - mentions of drinking, otherwise nothing else!

a/n: this is totally inspired by that one episode of New Girl where Nick and Jess are stuck behind the door and Nick tells Jess that he doesn’t want kiss her, “not like this” hence the title lol. Not quite the same plotline, but was definitely my inspiration for it!

masterlist

You had always loved Saturday nights, the one day a week where you could literally do nothing all day and not feel guilty about it. The one night a week where you got to see most of your friends, hang out, and of course, get tipsy and play a bunch of stupid games; tonight was no different.

You had arrived at your friend Alexa’s house, a little late, and by the looks of it, you were the last to arrive. Your friend group wasn’t enormously big, just around six or so depending on the night, any more and things usually got out of hand. There was you, Alexa, your mutual friend Lia, and then the boys: Yoongi, Jin, and Namjoon. You all had become friends while in university, and you’re happy to say you were able to remain friends afterward. Sometimes the boys would bring their other friends, ones they had met through work, and tonight you were happy to see Jimin, Tae, Jungkook, and Hoseok here as well. You didn’t know them as well, but every time you hung with them, they had been nothing but kind. If you’re honest, the people you knew best here were Jin and Alexa, the three of you had lived in the same dorm freshman year, and since then, you had been inseparable.

“y/n!” Alexa called excitedly, crossing the room to greet you. “I was afraid you weren’t gonna make it!”

“Sorry,” you exclaimed, “Literally got halfway here and realized I had forgotten the chips!” she laughed, taking them from you, and setting them on the counter next to the taco dip; a classic staple in your university days. “I see everyone else is already here.” you mused, scanning the room.

“Yeah, don’t worry though, Jimin and Tae literally got here five minutes before you,” she laughed, and set a hand on your shoulder, slightly turning you towards the back of the room. “But he’s been here all night, asking me every couple minutes if I’ve heard from you,” she whispered, you were sure she was wiggling her eyebrows at you.

You looked across the room, and saw Jin, laughing with Hoseok and Jungkook. He hadn’t seen you yet, and selfishly you loved that you were able to stare at him carefree, taking in all the things you loved about him. You hadn’t seen him in a while, school kept you both busy, and with both of you working part time jobs, a couple weeks had gone by since your last hang out. God how you had missed him. 

“You’re staring..” Alexa chuckled, as your best friend, and friend who had also known Jin the longest, she knew all about your crush on him. She was actually the one who called you out on it first, and from then on, she loved to tease you about it, but in all honesty, if she didn’t know, and wasn’t there for you to give advice or listen to you rant, you’re sure you would have gone insane by now.

“Ahhh, yeah,” you laughed nervously, tearing your view from him, and facing her. “God, it’s getting worse isn’t it?”

“Noooo,” she said, obviously lying, but you appreciated the false confidence. “Okay, maybe, but you’re in love, how else are you supposed to cope with that?”

“Oooh, I’d say drinking my sorrows away so I don’t have to think about how he’ll never like me back.” you laughed, grabbing a drink from the cooler. Alexa looked at you, concerned. “Lex I’m fine, seriously. I’ve come to terms with it, and at this point, he’s just a placeholder till I find someone new.”

“I’ve always said this, and I stand by it: Jin is so fucking stupid. Thick as a brick.”

“Yah!” he suddenly called from across the room. “Alexa are you talking shit?” you laughed, trying to figure out how much he heard.

“Absolutely not,” she said, looking towards you. “But y/n totally was!”

“Lex!” you yelled, embarrassed. You looked up, making eye contact with Jin, and his face lit up. 

“y/n! Why didn’t you tell me you were here?” he said, coming over to you. Alexa winked and left to go talk to Lia. He came up to you, immediately crushing you in a hug. Your face was right up against his chest, you could smell his cologne, and god was it intoxicating. 

“Sorry, I literally just got here!” you said, pulling your head back to look at him, he smiled down at you, his arms around your waist. You could stay like this forever.

“Hmmm, I suppose I can forgive you then.” he joked, slowly letting go of you, his fingers lingering a little too long. You tried your best to remain calm, and not think about the way it felt to be held by him. He cleared his throat, taking a slight step back, you looked at him expectantly. “Whatcha drinking?” he asked, and you held up your drink you had grabbed earlier. “Oh,” he laughed, ears turning red in embarrassment, and you grinned, god you loved this man.

----

The night had progressed rather smoothly, you were impressed. Usually, nights like this took a turn for the worst during a game of Pictionary, but so far, things had been fine! Everyone seemed to be having a great time, and you couldn’t have been happier. Currently, you all sat in a circle playing a childish game of never have I ever. You knew these were childish, but secretly you loved them, all the games you never got to play in high school cause you didn’t go to parties. Except instead of fingers down, everyone also took a shot. Currently, Jimin and Lia were tied for first place with each having nine out of ten fingers down. You only had four down, but it didn’t really matter.

“Never have I ever recreated the scene from titanic in front of the whole school only to realize Rose was played by my professor,” Tae snickered, looking directly at Jimin.

“Not fair,” he laughed, putting a finger down, and taking a shot. “That’s targeting!” everyone laughed, and Jimin grinned, taking a seat back down.

“Okay okay okay,” Alexa said suddenly, gathering everyone’s attention. “Let’s switch up the game, we’ve been playing this for an hour, and if Jimin has to take one more shot, I don’t want to be the one responsible for taking him to the hospital tonight.”

“I’m fine!” he laughed, and it was mildly true, everyone here seemed to have a pretty high tolerance, and being out of university, it seems the activities had mildly mellowed out. No excessive drinking tonight. 

“Okay, what game are you thinking of Lex?” Lia asked, and Alexa paused before getting a thoughtful look on her face. 

You watched as she looked towards you, a knowing glint in her eyes. “Since we’re on a roll with high school parties games, why not a fun couple rounds of seven minutes in heaven?” The group was split, some laughed in encouragement, while others, like yourself, seemed confused, you all were friends wouldn’t that be weird? “Okay wait, let me finish. We’ll switch up the rules so it’s not weird. The two people can go in there and decide what to do, kiss or take two shots each.”

You laughed, it seemed stupid still, but why the hell not? You were probably a little tipsy at this point, so why not indulge in this juvenile game. “How do we decide who goes in?” you asked.

“We’ll start with a random person to go in the closet, and then the group decides who goes in after them. But the catch is, the person alone in the closet has to face the wall so they cant see who comes in with them. So since they can’t see each other, in order to drink or kiss, they have to correctly guess who it is. Make sense?” Everyone nodded, and you eagerly awaited to see who was first.

“Who wants to go first?” Jimin asked, and the group went silent. “What about y/n?” you looked up, confused.

“Why me?” you questioned.

“Why not?” he questioned back, and you laughed. 

“Okay fine,” you agreed, looking down at everyone as you stood up. “Alright, whichever one of you comes in, be ready to take shots!” everyone laughed, and you grinned, making eye contact with Alexa, that same stupid glint in her eye.

“Don’t sound so sure,” she laughed, and you blushed, quickly turning towards the closet. You opened the door, and entered, shutting it behind you. You wondered who they would send it, though with Alexa's knowing look you had a feeling it wasn't going to be good. It was a mystery how much time had passed by the time you heard the door open behind you.

“Hello mystery stranger,” you called, waiting for the door to shut again before turning around. 

“You have seven minutes, y/n!” Alexa called, followed by a chorus of cheers. “Guess correctly and you can thank me later!”

You furrowed your eyebrows at that, that must have been a clue, right? “Hmm, how should I go about this, because I’m assuming you’re not allowed to speak, right? That’d make it too easy,” you pondered, and with no response from the person in front of you, you presumed you were right.

“Okay, I have an idea.” you declared, holding your hands out in front of you. “My hands are in front of you right now, grab one of them.” You waited patiently for them to do so, and soon enough you felt something hit the side of your hand. “That’s my hand, grab it.”

They grabbed your hand, and you immediately registered that they had large hands, long fingers, there was no way this was Lia or Lexa, they both had comically small hands. On second thought, so did Jimin, so that left the rest of the boys. “Here’s what I’m thinking, I’ll ask you a series of questions, and if the answer is yes then squeeze my hand once, if it’s no, then squeeze my hand twice. Make sense?”

One squeeze. “Okay, cool cool. Let’s see,” you pondered, trying to think of a question that would get the most people out at once. “Oh! Okay, do you have roommates?”

Two squeezes, “Okay, well that rules out Jungkook and Tae since they live together.  Do you have a pet?”

Two squeezes again, “Well alright, then you’re not Namjoon or Yoongi either. So you’re either Hoseok or Jin.” you stalled for a second, wondering what the odds were that this was Jin in front of you. Alexa wouldn’t do that to you would she? Who are you kidding, she’s tipsy, of course, she would. Your heartbeat increased mildly at the possibility that this was Jin and the possibility that you two would kiss, but you knew deep down that if it was him, you’d rather just take shots because kissing him in this closet was not at all how you wanted to do it.

“Final question,” you said aloud, figuring out what you would ask. “Do you feel strongly about the financial crisis in Ecuador?” A laugh from the person in front of you confirmed your suspicions, it was Jin. Whenever the two of you were together and ran out of things to talk about, he would always ask you the most random of questions, that one is one of his favorites. 

“I feel very strongly about it, almost as strongly as I feel about the American peanut butter famine of 1834,” he joked, and you laughed, it was such a dumb joke, but it got you every single time. It absolutely had nothing to do with him, and you thinking he was the funniest person alive, not at all.

The two of you quieted down, and you heard Jimin call for four minutes left. Suddenly, you remembered why you were here, and what you had to decide. “So,” you said, trying to decide how you were gonna get out of this. “How’s it going?”

“Oh you know, just grand,” he said, and you heard him shifting his weight from one foot to another. It was then that you also realized he was still holding your hand, cute. “You have a decision to make, don’t you?” he asked, and you blushed, thank god for the darkness of this closet.

“I think it’s a group consensus, no?” you asked.

Jin chuckled, and you felt his thumb run over your knuckles, your mind raced at the feeling. “I mean sure, but I’m cool with either.” You were pretty sure that you died of cardiac failure after he said that, there was no way he had just said that.  “Plus the idea of taking two shots right now makes me wanna die,”

“Hmm, you did kinda suck at taking shots,” you joked, trying to ease your nerves, and he playfully swatted your shoulder. Your hand hung loosely at your side, and you took the moment to wipe the sweat off on your jeans. “So you’re cool with either? You’re sure?” you asked, your voice slightly panicky.

You sensed his arm moved as it wrapped around your waist, pulling you closer to him. You held your breath, what the fuck was going on. “I’m sure, are you?”

You felt your head get fuzzy and you weren’t sure if it was from the alcohol or the way you could feel each of his fingers as they rested on the small of your back, but you definitely weren’t sober anymore. “I don’t want to kiss you in the closet,” you said quickly, your hand instinctively balling into a fist. “Not like this.”

“What do you mean?” he asked quietly, a touch of hurt in his voice, your heart ached at the sound. “Would you rather take the shots?”

“No, no, no,” you said frantically, releasing his hand and taking a step back. Even though you knew this was low risk, you’d have to absolutely be blind to not understand the elephant in this closet with you two, you still felt terrified of rejection. “I-I can’t see you, I want to be able to see you.”

At that moment, the door flung open, the light from the outside streaming in, and all you saw was Jin’s face as he looked at you as if he had never seen you before. You wanted to cry, but instead, you pushed past him, and grabbed a bottle of peppermint schnapps off the counter, quickly downing two shots, before going out onto the porch. You absolutely needed some air. 

The commotion from inside followed you faintly as you shut the door, everyone was confused, but drunk enough to move on rather quickly, sending Jungkook into the closet, before sending someone else in after him. You paid them no mind, too busy feeling sorry for yourself that even when the moment was perfect, you still found a way to ruin it for yourself. He had literally told you he wanted to kiss you, and you had ruined it with your stupid insecurities, go figure.

The sliding door opened and you looked up as he stepped out onto the porch, blanket in one hand, and two water bottles in the other. “Mind if I join you?” you said nothing, but nodded in response, and he offered you water, and you took it before he sat next to you. You watched out of the corner of your eye as he wrapped the blanket around him, and it was in that moment that you remembered it was November. Unconsciously, you pulled your knees up, wrapping your arms around them, wishing you had grabbed your jacket. “Here,” he said suddenly, opening up one side of his blanket cocoon. “We can share.”

You peered at him hesitantly, before opting in because even your pride was willing to leave for warmth. He wrapped the blanket around you both, and you moved closer to him in an attempt to get the blanket around the both of you completely. Aside from your shoes peeking out, the both of you were completely submerged, he must have found the biggest blanket in the apartment. You peered up at him and watched as he stared at the street before you, not thinking twice of it, you rested your head on his shoulder. “Jin, I’m sorry for freaking out earlier.”

“Don’t be sorry,” he said, looking down at you. “You were uncomfortable, I should have been more aware.”

“I wasn’t that uncomfortable,” you muttered, and he chuckled.

“y/n you were actually shaking at one point,” you laughed at that, he was right.

“Okay, fine, but I was only uncomfortable with the circumstances, not the idea behind them,” you paled when you realized what you said, but when Jin wrapped his arm around you, pulling you even closer to him, you relaxed a little. 

“Oh so what you’re saying is that I didn’t need to take two shots?”

“Hmmm, maybe not,” you mused, and he laughed. “And neither did I.”

“So why did you?” he asked, the smile dropping from your face as you thought about how you were gonna explain this.

“Jin, I-” you said, your heart rate picking up with each passing moment; it was now or never. “I really like you, I have feelings for you so strong I feel like going crazy sometimes. I’m sure you already knew because Alexa has a big mouth, and I’m the least subtle person on the planet, but that’s why I took the shots.”

“You took the shots instead of kissing me because you like me?”

“Ah no,” you grumbled, getting stressed that he wasn’t getting it. “I took the shots because I didn’t want my first kiss to be in the dark, especially with you.”

“Ahhh, I see what you mean,” he said, a faint smile on his face. He looked down at you, and you felt all the air leave your body as you registered the look in his eyes. It was the exact same as yours had been earlier when you saw him. He had never looked at you like that, at least to your memory. He had, you had just never noticed. 

“I just, I just want to be able to see you,” you said quietly, unable to move, stuck in the way he looked at you. “I’ve never kissed anyone before, and I don’t want to mess up.”

Jin grinned, “You can’t mess up, y/n.” he assured you, and you blushed. 

“I don’t know, I’m pretty clumsy sometimes,” you pondered, you honestly had no idea how to do it, so chances were that you would mess it up. Jin was older than you, a year or so, and you’ve seen him with a number of girls, so you were pretty positive you were the inexperienced one in this pair. 

“It’s pretty simple,” he mused, reaching up to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear. “I could teach you.” Your heart skipped a beat at his sultry tone, he was absolutely gonna be the death of you. “I’m sure you’d be a quick learner.”

“I’m sure you’d be a good teacher,” you said, and his ears turned a nice shade of pink. You mentally grinned at your ability to fluster him, even in this frenzied state. 

“So what do you say?” he asked, running his hand down your arm to grab your hand again. Goosebumps appeared in succession, as you realized where this was going. “Is it bright enough out here for you?”

“It’s perfect,” you whispered, grinning as he smiled at you. “You’re perfect, you know that right?”

“Says you,” he cooed, “You know how long I’ve waited for a moment like this? I like you so much, y/n, it actually drives me crazy how amazing and perfect you are.” You blushed deeply at that, unsure of how in the world you had ended up here, but hearing him say the things you had always wanted him to say made your heart race so fast you were sure you were dreaming. 

“So what’s the first step?” you asked, trying to keep your voice calm as you wrapped your arm around his neck. He moved, so you were facing each other now, the blanket falling slightly. You unconsciously tangled his hair in your fingers. He closed his eyes, obviously enjoying whatever you were doing.

“Well you’re doing great so far,” he sighed, his tone breathless. “I was right, quick learner for sure.” you smirked, your fears long forgotten as you felt him lean into your touch. You had no idea that would have such an affect on him, you’d definitely remember that for later.

“What next?” you asked, and he opened his eyes. They were darker than before, and you were sure you were hallucinating. He wrapped both his arms around you, pulling you even closer. His face was inches from yours, if leaned forward you would bump noses. 

“Well I’ll pull you close, close enough to kiss you of course,” he whispered, and you chuckled. “Then I’ll probably compliment you some more, telling you how much I like being around you, how beautiful you are, how long I’ve wanted to do this.” he paused, smiling at you. “Then I’ll lean in closer, and ask if you’re sure you want this.”

“And I’ll say that I do,” you said, “That I’ve wanted this for a long time, I was just too scared to say anything, how dumb was that, huh?”

You both chuckled at that, agreeing that you both had been so scared for no reason. “That’s good to hear,” he grinned, playing with the hem of your shirt. “Cause that’d be really awkward if you didn’t feel the same.”

“Oh I feel the same,” you said quickly. “Don’t even worry about that.”

He smiled at you for the millionth time that night, and even though you should have been used to it by now, you still felt like you were floating. “Well now I’m gonna lean forward, probably a little too slowly just to tease you, and maybe I’ll pause just in front of you,” he whispered, pausing with almost no room between your lips.

“And then?” you asked quietly, afraid to break the moment. “What should I do?”

“Whatever you feel like.”

You leaned forward, closing the gap between the two of you. His lips were as soft as you had imagined they would have been. You weren’t sure what to do once you two had touched, but you felt him move away before kissing you again, this time with more pressure. You hesitantly did the same, and you felt his grip on your tighten, so you must have been doing something right. He pulled away again, and you opened your eyes to see him grinning at you. He leaned forward so his mouth was by your ear.

“You're doing great,” he said, chills running down your spine. “You’re a natural.”

He kissed your cheek, before reconnecting your lips, you moved slowly, testing the waters on what you thought might work, gauging the success rate by how Jin reacted. You weren’t sure how much time had passed before you pulled away again, but you could see that his lips were red, and you imagined yours looked the same. 

“You’re amazing,” you said, heart seizing at the way he looked at you, and it was in that moment that you knew things were going to be okay. “Definitely the best teacher I’ve ever had. I might need a few more lessons though.”

He smirked, “Oh don’t worry, we’ll have plenty of time for more lessons. It’ll cost you though,”

“What’s the price?” you mused, fingers dancing around his face, tracing the outline of his jaw, his ear, his collarbone. 

“A date, with me, this weekend, at a restaurant of your choosing.”

You hummed, pretending to contemplate the idea, “I guess I can do that, but I charge too, ya know.”

“Oh yeah?” he taunted, curious what you were gonna say. “For what?”

You wanted to do something equally as romantic and sensual as him, but in that moment you were overcome with an urge to just hold onto him, to hug him. So you tightly wrapped yourself around him, stuffing your head into the crook of his neck. He returned your embrace immediately, slightly caught off guard by your change in tone, but welcomed it nevertheless. He ran his hands up and down you back as you took a deep breath. You turned your head towards him, tentatively placing a kiss on his neck. You felt him shiver slightly, the goosebumps rising on his skin. “For that,” you whispered, kissing his neck once more, before returning to your original embrace. 

He wasn’t sure what had just happened, but somehow you had managed to be adorable and extremely hot within the span of seconds, and it was in that moment he realized you would be the death of him. He held you for a while, enjoying your embrace, enjoying the way you fiddle with the hair on the nape of his neck every so often, enjoying the way he was finally holding you the way he had always wanted to.

You couldn’t have asked for anything better than this, you were so happy, you couldn’t believe your luck. Time passed, and with each minute, intoxicated by his scent, you felt yourself growing tired, wordlessly, you dozed off, the alcohol tiredness finally taking effect, and it wasn’t until Alexa knocked on the door, did Jin realize what had happened, and how much time had passed.

She quietly opened the door, “Glad to see my efforts didn’t go to waste,” Jin grinned at her, pulling the blanket over your sleeping form.

“Thank you,” he said sincerely. “Sorry I was so blind before, I owe you for what you did. If you hadn’t messaged me last week, I don’t think this ever would have happened.”

“No kidding, you both are scaredy cats, and we both know y/n never would have said anything, she liked you too much to risk it,” she said, and they chuckled. “Are you okay out here? It’s cold out here, things have calmed down inside, we’re watching a movie if you want to come back inside.”

“I’ll be in in a second,” he said. “Thank you again, Alexa, I owe you one.”

“Just put in a good word for me next time you and Jimin hang out, yeah?” she said shyly and Jin gasped. 

“Really?” he asked, an excited look on his face.

“I don’t know, maybe, he’s cool, he’s handsome, those aren’t bad things.” she explained, a blush on her face, Jin wiggled his eyebrows at her, and she sighed. “Okay I’m going, don’t make me regret asking for that. See you in a bit.”

She shut the sliding door, and Jin looked down at you again, still in awe of what had happened. You shifted in your sleep, in an attempt to get more comfortable, you snuggled closer, if that was even possible. “So Jimin and Alexa, huh?” you whispered, causing Jin to jump at the sound of your voice.

“You’re awake?” he asked.

“Kinda,” you mused, “I heard the door open. I’m glad she said something, cause you’re both right, I never would have said anything, liked you too much.”

He smiled, a deep blush on his face. He wondered how long it would take for your words to have a lesser effect, he secretly hoped it would never come. “Do you want to go watch the movie? Or do you want to sleep?”

You contemplated your choices, “Let’s go say goodbye, and you can come over?” you lifted your head to gauge his expression. “Unless you don’t want to, that’s fine too.”

“No, no, no,” he assured you. “I’d love to come over.”

You smiled, and kissed him again before standing up. Jin followed you inside, grabbing your hand the first chance he got. Your friends all watched as you came in, and Namjoon was the first to congratulate you both.

“It’s about time you did something, Jin!” Yoongi nagged, and Jin let out a shout of protest. You laughed, making eye contact with Alexa. Thank you you mouthed to her, and she smiled, so genuine and full of love. You’re welcome she mouthed back, a knowing look on her face. Next to her, Jimin sat, and you wiggled your eyebrows at her as Jin grabbed your jackets. She blushed, and you grew excited at the new prospect of their relationship. Jimin grabbed her attention as he asked her a question, and you watched as he rested a hand on her thigh, you had never seen her so bubbly and excited, you made a mental note to ask her about it later. Jin returned to your side, handing you your coat. You bid farewell to everyone, and made your way to your car. The drive home was filled with compliments, loud singing to the radio, and plenty of kisses from Jin as you drove. 

By the time you got to your apartment, you felt tired again, and you could tell Jin was finally falling victim to sleep as well. You grabbed some of his old sweats that you had stolen from your dresser, and handed them to him. You shamelessly watched as he undressed, slipping on the sweatpants, but opting out of the sweatshirt. This wasn’t the first time you had seen him shirtless, but it was certainly the first time you hadn’t looked away when he looked at you. Wordlessly, you smiled at him and stripped yourself of your shirt and bottoms. He felt his stare and you turned to take off your bra and put on an old t-shirt. You pulled on some shorts, and turned back to face him, he was laying on your bed, arms behind his head, his muscles on full display. You blushed at the sight, climbing into bed next to him, immediately leaning into his touch as he pulled you onto his chest. You felt it rise and fall with each breath he took, it was incredibly calming. 

“You’re beautiful,” he said, tilting your jaw up to kiss you. Your legs went weak at the feeling, and you laid your hand on his chest. “So so beautiful, I’m so lucky.”

“Says you, world wide handsome,” you joked, and he laughed. Things were gonna be just fine, you could feel it.

[satanisnotapogostick]

sam playlist liner notes

1. jesse got trapped in a coal mine – goodnight, texas

dean picking sam up from stanford in the pilot: jesse getting trapped in the coal mine

(he never DID marry his girl)

2. me and bobby mcgee – kris kristofferson

to me, me and bobby mcgee is about when sam runs away from dean and hangs out with meg before she outs herself as a demon

3. dorothy - mewithoutYou

“one turned into sr. Margaret, and I said "if you can change your shape that easily can you take the form of my dead father?”… then last night I was somewhere near virginia rebuking satan with ironic faithfulness. and satan turned to me: have you thought much about that cry?"

lucifer AND john themes???? yes.

4. life during wartime – talking heads

this song is sam adjusting to being a hunter and being at war, where he’ll stay for the rest of his life <3

5. this is how we do things in the country – slim cessna’s auto club

ok so this song is about sam killing madison. when you murder the girl you’re sweet on but it’s righteous and everyone thanks you for it. this is how it’s always been! this is how we do things in the country! (and also getting amy killed, a little bit, but that hasn’t happened yet. this is still early seasons)

6. clampdown – the clamp

“the voices in your head are calling. stop wasting your time, there's nothing coming, only a fool would think someone could save you… but you grow up and you calm down, and you're working for the clampdown.”

damn maybe we’re not the good guys. anyway!!

7. smith & jones forever – silver jews

smith & jones (salmondean) together!! forever!!

8. everything you did – steely dan

oh bro you slutted around with a demon and let satan out. what have you done

9. tortoises all the way down - mewithoutYou

“everybody knows, son. everybody knows what you've done!!”

just crazyass guilt song

10. up jumped the devil – nick cave

the tiger. he destroyed his cage. yes. YES. the tiger is out.

11. (ghost) riders in the sky – marty robbins

“then cowboy change your ways today or with us you will ride. tryin’ to catch the devil herd across these endless skies”

just s5 endless chase vibes

12. needle in the hay – elliott smith

demon blood detox time baby

13. emperor – mark lanegan

“why can’t I get right? all these demons to enslave me. who’s left to fight? oh, just the emperor.” the emperor being lucifer. obviously.

14. skating away (on the thin ice of a new day) – jethro tull

they have the horseman rings!! sam’s about to jump into the cage!! your world is about to end, but it’s okay!! you’ve done it!!

15. the passenger – iggy pop

and lol now he’s possessed by lucifer

16. the mercy seat – nick cave

okay now we’re at stull and he’s REALLY going to the gallows (jumping in)

17. when you die - MGMT

I imagine this song happening during the fall itself from stull into the cage. honestly this is a weaker entry but like. haha tfw you die

18. fifteen feet of pure white snow – nick cave

thee cage song.

“I waved to my neighbot, my neighbor waved to me. but my neighbor is my enemy. I kept waving my arms til I could not see, under fifteen feet of pure white snow. is anyone out there please? it’s too quiet in here and I’ve beginning to freeze. I’ve got icicles hanging from my knees, under fifteen feet of pure white snow”

you’ve even got icy temperature themes!

19. loverman – nick cave

yeah <3

“there’s a devil waiting outside your door (how much longer?) there’s a devil waiting outside your door and he’s bucking and braying and pawing at the floor and he’s howling with pain and crawling up the walls…. loverman!!! till the bitter end!!! while empires burn down forever and ever and ever and ever amen”

nick cave count: 4

20. satan it’s you – jett screams

@polishnatural recommendation. cellmates (and bunk buddies) with the devil in hell type vibes

21. relax, take it easy - mika

the war has already been won and nothing that happens in here has any effect on the real world. why not relax into the simplicity of it all!! (sometimes it’s just better when things are bad type vibes)

22. don’t lose your temper - xtc

we’re out of the cage! and starting strong with a mocking song bc he already lost his temper and grew mild and that’s why he’s too tired to fight. so this is the only hallucifer era song on the playlist

23. first wave intact – secret machines

war metaphors. extended wars. unwinnable wars.

“I wonder what you're waiting for. I wonder what you're working for. I wonder what you're living for. I wonder what you're dying for”

same king

24. mexican war streets - mewithoutYou

“but how long before our tails are caught by our "free" thought?” INDEED

“nature had another plan (& failed to run it by me!) nature had another plan, some other surrogate self to live in the sediment of so many somebody elses' innumerable lives and you were right: it's not a person who dies but worlds die inside us”

SO TRUE. we’re fully breaking into late seasons here

mwY count: 3

25. screen shot - swans

these are all sam’s meditation mantras. he’s offering a course: how to become okay with really horrible situations that you are also complicit in. “love! now! breathe! now! love! now! breathe! now!”

26. god’s away on business – tom waits

IT WASN’T GOD IN YOUR HEAD SAM

27. when the lights come on – they might be giants

when the lights come on (when lucifer brings you back to life)

28. light’s on

TWO songs about sam’s resurrection at lucifer’s hands??? yeah ;)

“the lights are on, you don’t know just who your friends are. the lights are on, and it’s light you’ll never know”

29. devil’s resting place – laura marling

I mean. yeah. his time in the cage with the devil coming back to haunt him

30. failure - swans

see my edit that I won’t link bc I can’t find. but anyway yeah. this guy fails a lot

31. last song about satan – slim cessna’s auto club

ding dong the devil is dead!!

32. president – max frost

@girlkingsam recommendation. late seasons sam vibes for sure. plus this song can be read as being about hell politics which is fun. I don’t give a damn who’s president (of hell)!

33. the road goes on forever – the highwayen

cycles of violence, etc. the road goes on forever, nothing ever (really) changes. (also yes sonny is dean and sherry is sam. I guess)

34. careers in combat – parquet courts

the namesake of my little fanfiction.

“there are no more summer lifeguard jobs, there are no more art museums to guard. the lab is out of white lab coats cause there are no more slides and microscopes. but there are still careers in combat my son!!!”

king of hell ending please please you’re nothing. anyway he’s been at war his whole life and war is his legacy. anyway.

[serenasoutherlyns]

Wake Up With You (Ask You How You Feel)

a/n: i took my ritalin for the first time in weeks and instead of cleaning my apartment, i wrote a Very Fluffy songfic. enjoy <3. i only read this a couple times so forgive any errors. all feedback appreciated!


calex fluff, song is "Go Outside" by Ratboys.

I wanna go outside again

I wanna sit back with the windows down and breathe it all in

I wanna go outside again

It's quiet outside the pub when Alex decides to go for it. The air is crisp and everything glitters underneath the streetlights. She'd gone with Casey who'd gone with Amanda who'd gone with Nick to get some fresh air, which really meant have a cigarette. Amanda and Nick had ended up in a cab very quickly, still attempting to seem like they weren't going to the same home.

Despite her aversion to sidewalks outside of bars at night, when Casey asked her to stay, Alex did, feeling safe. They keep moving closer, and Alex lets the overwhelming need to feel Casey win her over. She feels far more intoxicated than the one vodka soda she'd had would've made her.

Casey's hands are soft, but her lips are softer when Alex asks the question of a kiss. She thanks whatever forces there are that the clear answer is yes. Casey pulls her closer, tugging on her coat, but keeps the kiss delicate, like she's trying not to break anything. She pulls away-- Alex has to close her eyes, terrified that she's made a mistake and thrown away what chance she ever had.

"This is," Casey says, her voice giving away her smile, "I've wanted you to do that for so long." Alex feels her chest get warm at the admission. "Please tell me you want to do it again."

Alex nods, this time doing the pulling, a firmer kiss. "I want to do that as many times as I possibly can."

I wanna lay down in the sand

I wanna show up at the shoreline and drink Lake Michigan

I wanna lay down in the sand

"Why are you in Indiana again?" Alex's frustrated but happy voice comes crackly through the phone, almost the same frequency as the short waves. Casey's pockets are full of sand and her arms are coming up in goosebumps, but no part of her wants to go inside.

"Convention on torture methods," she says, pleased with the laughter she hears back, "Or the Novak family reunion."

"Mm. Well, I think you should come home."

"Oh yeah? Feeling clingy, Cabot?"

"I miss you."

"I wish you would come here instead." Casey snaps a wide-angle photo of the beach to Alex, doing her best to get the dunes and the lake in the same frame.

Alex gasps. "Is that Indiana?"

Casey laughs until there are tears pooling at the corners of her eyes. "A very small part of Northern Indiana, yes. The Midwest isn't all bad."

"Better when you're there."

And I wanna walk down my main street

I wanna listen for the birds who might be talkin' to me

I wanna walk down my street

They can be together and silent now. Alex is grateful for this fact because she can hardly speak. Laryngitis-- Dr. Warner had explained to her that it probably started as a minor infection and was made worse with all the talking and bad sleep. A round of antibiotics and steroids plus lots of fluids should make it better before the weekend is over.

They don't need to talk. Casey is idly playing with her hair, Alex's head in her lap, dozing off in the afternoon sunlight. Casey's reading a book, Alex listens to the pages turn.

"Do you hear that?" Casey asks.

Alex hums, before regretting making any vocal movement. She screws her eyes shut in pain.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, love," Casey says, rubbing her hand soothingly down Alex's arms, completely naturally using that word they haven't said yet. "I didn't mean to wake you. It was just a pretty bird."

Alex takes a moment to decide if the pain is worth replying. "Don't apologize for pretty things," she whispers, her eyes still shut, "And I love you too."

I wanna be eloquent

I wanna take all of my best friends and show them where I live

Oh, I wanna be so eloquent

"It'll be fine, Case," Alex says quietly, holding her waist before their guests arrive. Today's the day she meets the friends, which, Casey thinks, with no in-laws to meet, is making her justifiably nervous. "Neither of them is going to bite you."

"Why do I doubt that," Casey says, only half-joking. "You know us, lawyers, sharks..."

"And how different am I out of the courtroom? Or Katie, or Adrian, or Anna, or Jesse,"

"You gonna list my whole graduating class?" Casey traces her fingers along the little gold necklace with the square pendant Alex has taken to wearing around her neck.

"If it calms you down," Alex says. "If you're really too nervous I can tell Abbie and Serena to keep the takeout and we can go to bed early," she says, tucking Casey's hair behind her ear. "But they're really more like manatees," she says, finally eliciting a smile.

The buzzer buzzes, and a brief flash of panic passes through Casey. She leans in, kissing Alex.

"If they love you, I'm sure we'll get along."

And I wanna make myself a meal

I wanna wake up with you next to me and ask you how you feel

I wanna make us both a meal

If she keeps doing things like this, Alex thinks all the love will make her explode. Today it's coming home to Casey, dancing in the kitchen, the apartment smelling like garlic and oregano, the sounds of an old country album mixing with the sizzling of oil in a pan. With her resolve growing thinner and thinner every day, Alex can't help but wrap her arms around her waist, burying her entire self into her hair, strong shoulders, soft hips. Casey jumps, and this earns Alex a snap on the wrist from the handle of her mixing spoon.

"Baby, do you want to get burned?" She says, laughing into the words, relaxing into her touch. She holds Alex's hand, stepping them away from the stove. She guides her through the rest of the song, never once complaining about Alex's two left feet and frankly dangerous elbows.

Casey stirs the sauce, then tastes it, pursing her lips, blowing to cool it down first. She holds the spoon up to Alex with a raise of her eyebrow, watching her look of satisfaction at the taste with pride. "Going to surprise me next time?" She asks.

"Yeah," Alex says, pointing her gaze over her glasses, "it's worth it."

And I wanna love you 'til the end

I wanna float off with the angels and pick a fight and win

I wanna love you 'til

'Til thе end

As Alex keeps reminding her, they have no need for a piece of paper to know they're in love. The wedding dresses she has saved on pinterest tell a different story.

The ring has been patiently waiting in the closet since two weeks after Alex kissed her.

"Baby?" Alex's voice comes from their living room while Casey fiddled with the ring box, practicing how she would ask.

"Yes?" Casey says, still dreamy, taking the ring box in one hand and popping it behind her back.

"Come sit with me." Alex says.

They don't need to get married, she doesn't need to propose, and they don't need the ring, not to know they're in love, not to prove anything, not to follow the common path.

But when Casey had come home that day, Alex had looked so comfortable and secure sitting on the couch. It's everything: her hair in a bun, her thick-rimmed glasses, her tank top and cozy pants, the novel she was reading, the way she stretched over the couch, twisting to see her come in through the door. And, what had finally melted Casey, made her absolutely certain: the completely natural smile she has whenever Casey comes home, her eyes wide and wrinkling at the edges, her tongue slightly poking out between her teeth. She has to see that one, every day.

She walks out of the bedroom, having changed into her sweatpants, still hiding the ring behind her back as she slides onto the couch. The same smile greets her when she gets to Alex.

"Sorry, I got distracted."

Alex sits up on her knees, furrowing her brow. "Is everything OK?"

"More than," Casey says, pressing the same kind of gentle kiss as the first onto Alex's lips. Suddenly, everything she was going to say, all the long, grand, rehearsed speeches she'd had for this very moment feel all kinds of wrong. Instead, she slides herself just off the couch, kneeling, opening the box.

Alex gasps, a wide open smile, beginning to say "Yes" before Casey gets any words out.

"Will you marry me?"

---

@addictedtodinosaurs @nocreditinthestraightworld @cmmndrwidw @hi-i-1

Reminder that my taglist is always open!

[fangirlfanwritings]

Nick Miller Request

Ok ! Let’s see... I was thinking of a new girl fanfic. Nick miller falls in love with Jess’s new teacher friend after dating for a couple weeks and just like how he kissed Jess, he kisses the best friend! They try to keep it as secret as possible but during a game if truth/dare, things because crazy! Thoughts ?

The first time you met Nick was also the first night that Jess had invited you to come over to her apartment. You had been teaching at her school for a month and you and her were quick to become friends. To celebrate your first month at the school she was going to host a “Girls Night” at her place. You were thrilled to meet CeCe and the three of you were having a great time. 

When the front door opened and her three male roommates walked in she was quick to tell them to get lost. When the arguing started you interjected. “Jess, I really don’t mind. We can all hang out. Plus it’ll mean I know more people here.”

“Fine, but don’t be weird,” she pointed threateningly at them. 

You can’t remember whose idea it was- hell you couldn’t remember much from that night- but you ended up learning how to play True American. Many drinks and a full game later you and Nick were the only ones still awake. “You know what, Y/N, I’m just going to say it. I’m just gonna say it. I like you. You’re fun. You’re pretty. You’re pretty fun. You want to go out on a date?”

“On a date?” You drunkenly laughed. “With food and drinks?”

“Definitely drinks and maybe some food if you’re lucky.” He tried to wink but closed both eyes. 

“Give me your phone.” He passed you his phone and you slowly put your number into his phone. You blinked the numbers into focus to make sure they were right before giving it back. “If you remember this conversation tomorrow then I’ll go out with you.”

When you had woken up the next day you left before Nick was up. As you nursed your hangover back at your own place later that day your phone buzzed. “I’d call but I don’t know if I can form words with my mouth yet. How’s Tuesday night sound for our date?”

******

You two had been seeing each other on the down low for a couple weeks now. Jess had invited you back for a game night at her place tonight and you were excited to get to see her, Nick, and everyone else again.

You showed up a little early and found yourself alone with Nick. “Hey,” he greeted you. “Jess is with Winston getting Chinese and Schmidt is picking up Cece.”

“Just us two, huh?” You pulled a bottle of wine from your purse. “Guess we should start the party for them then.” Nick smiled largely. “I’ll grab some glasses.” You went to walk past him to get to the kitchen but found yourself stopped when he grabbed out and held your hand. He pulled you back towards him and his hands cradled your face as he pulled you in for a deep kiss.

When it was over you were seeing stars, unsure of what had happened. “I’ve been wanting to do that for a while,” he admitted.

“You should have done it earlier,” you grinned. The door opened and you two pulled apart. 

“Hey,” you and Nick said together.

******

“Next game, Truth or Dare,” Schmidt commanded.

“What are we, middle schoolers?” Cece rolled her eyes.

“It’ll be fun guys,” Winston sat up straighter. “I’ll go first. Jess, truth or dare.”

“Truth!”

“Who’s your favorite student of all time?”

“What?!” After hearing her ramble and name off students for 10 mintues Schmidt finally called her off. 

“That’s enough, we don’t need to hear which one of those nasty bacteria ridden pygmy people is your favorite. Next! Y/N, truth or dare?”

“Um...dare.”

“I dare you to take your brazier off.”

“Veto,” Nick yelled.

“What?” Everyone else questioned.

“I veto that dare. I veto it, I don’t like it. I don’t- I don’t want to see her brazier. Keep it on, please, Y/N.”

“Nick, since when do you not want to see a bra,” Winston asked?

“Psh, ha, I never want to see any woman’s bra. Pshhh.”

“You’re sweating.” Jess noted. “You’re hiding something. You have a secret.”

“No. No I don’t. I don’t have a secret.” 

“Look at the pit sweat starting,” Schmidt pointed out! “What are you hiding, Miller?”

“Nothing,” he shook his head and avoided eye contact.

“Nick, truth or dare,” Cece asked and he just shook his head. “Truth or dare?” He shook again.

“Truth or dare” everyone but you shouted at Nick.

“TRUTH,” he finally yelled nervously!

“Are you dating Y/N?”

“What,” Jess gasped? “No.”

She said right as Nick said “Yes.”

“We are dating, okay. We have been going out since the week after the party,” he admitted.

Winston raised a finger to speak up. “Nick, are you saying that Y/N, this fine woman, is your girlfriend?”

Nick looked at you now. “If she wants to be, then yes.”

You nodded. “I’d like to be.” 

[hopecountysfavhoe]

‘Cold’ Chapter Sixteen Pt.1

Rating: 18+? This rating thing is harder than I thought it would be lmao

Word count: 2,271

The Deputy woke up in a familiar bed. Her head was pounding, causing her to keep her eyes shut. Then she heard it.

Beep, beep, beep.

     The gentle beeping of the heart rate monitor in the clinic. Instantly her eyes shot open. The Deputy looked around at the room she was in, it was the clinic room she fought to get out of so desperately. She tried to rub her face but something blocked her hand from lifting. She looked down and saw that her hands were hand cuffed to the edge of the clinic bed.

     She tried to remember what happened and how she got to the clinic. She remembered shooting with Grace and the walk back to the church but after that it got dark. Panic suddenly grabbed hold as she went down the list of what could have happened. What if she heard 'Only You' and hurt Grace? What if she hurt Nick or Kim or even worse, Carmina? The Deputy struggled against the handcuffs, desperately trying to find someone to tell her what happened.

     Hearing the Deputy struggle, the doctor walked in to check on her.

     "Good, you're awake." She greeted in a kind voice and pulled out a clipboard.

     "What happened? Did I hurt anybody? Why am I handcuffed?" The words stumbled out of the Deputy's mouth quicker than she could sit up.

     "Everything is fine, you just gave your friends a good scare. You were shot with a Bliss Bullet but thankfully Grace was able to get you out of harms way before any Peggies got their hands on you. As for your handcuffs those are just precautionary to make sure you don't hurt yourself or yank out an IV." Relief from the doctor's words instantly made the Deputy relax. She leaned back into the bed, not straining against her holds. "All of the Bliss should be out of your system by now." The Doctor said and checked an IV she had hooked up to the Deputy.

     "How long do I have to stay here?" The Deputy asked as the doctor unlocked her handcuffs.

     "I can discharge you now, but you have to use your crutch. And have you been taking your pills?" The doctor asked and the Deputy nodded while rubbing her wrists.

     "Everyday at the 8 am and again at 8pm." The Deputy informed her and the doctor nodded.

     She scribbled a note on her clipboard before she looked down at the Deputy. Her face told the Deputy exactly what she was going to say before she even said it. "What did I say about gunfights?" She asked.

     "I didn't even do anything this time! I was just walking with Grace and I got shot." The Deputy defended herself and the doctor nodded.

     "Look, I get it. You don't like taking a break, you want to get back out there and protect people but your health has to come first." The doctor lectured her and the Deputy pushed her hair out of her face.

     "I understand but I can't just take a break. People die if I take a break, my friends die if I take a break." The Deputy argued and the doctor held up her hands defensively, she didn't want to get the Deputy too upset.

     "While you heal a little more just help people in a different way, maybe you can deliver food to people or help plant a garden? Just something that doesn't get you put in harms way. You got lucky this time, Deputy. Your reaction to the Bliss didn't cause you to re-injure  yourself, but I don't know if that kind of luck will last. I'm discharging you but you still need to be back for that two week check up." The doctor's words were firm and the Deputy knew there would be no swaying her mind.

     But the Deputy was an adult and she could make her own decisions, even if they were the wrong ones so the Deputy just agreed to whatever the doctor told her to do so that she could stop fussing even if she knew she would ignore the doctor. The Deputy got discharged and left the clinic, happy to be out of that place.

     She found her truck sitting in the driveway, that must have been what Grace drove her to the clinic in. The Deputy got in and drove back to Nick and Kim's house to apologize for scaring them.

     When she pulled up to the house Nick was working on his truck in the front driveway. "Hey Nick." The Deputy greeted and got out of her truck.

     Nick was bent over the hood, fiddling with something in engine. When he heard the truck pull up he glanced back to see who it was. When he saw the Deputy get out of the truck he backed out of the hood and turned to face her.

     "Hey Dep, how are ya feeling?" He asked and immediately the Deputy noticed he had a black eye.

     "What happened to your eye?" The Deputy ignored his question.

      "It's nothing." Nick turned back to look at the truck, he always did that when he was deflecting.

      "Did I do that to you?" The Deputy asked, her tone softened with concern.

     Nick turned back around to face the Deputy, his head angled toward the dirt. "Kinda, well not really, but yeah..."

     The Deputy rubbed her forehead. "I'm sorry." She apologized. "Did I hurt anyone else?"

     "No, me and Grace held you down before you could hurt anybody." He admitted and the Deputy let out a deep sigh.

     "I'm really sorry, Nick. It won't ever happen again." The Deputy kept apologizing, shame and fear evident in her voice.

      "Hey Dep it's ok, I know it wasn't directed towards me. It's fine now anyway right?" Nick asked and the Deputy shook her head.

     "I shouldn't be here, I'm putting you and Kim and Carmina at risk especially with John looking for me." The Deputy told Nick and he looked to the ground.

      "As much as I hate it, I think that's true. I'm sorry Dep, you know you're welcome anytime but maybe you should stay somewhere safer, just till things die down a little bit." He suggested and the Deputy nodded.

     "I'm gonna go stay with Sharky for a while ok? Just until things blow over some. I have to go grab my crutch and my jacket." The Deputy wasn't angry with Nick's suggestion, actually she was happy about it. Now she didn't have to worry about taking advantage of Nick and Kim or about John's men coming in in the middle of the night for her.

     Nick nodded and let her go to the house. "Kim isn't here, just so you know. She took Carmina over to a friends house." Nick advised the Deputy.

     "Got it, thanks." The Deputy walked up the front steps and made short work of finding her crutch and jacket. It looked like it was in the middle of being mended. Kim has stitched up numerous holes and the frayed hem of her sleeve. The Deputy didn't remember asking her to do that but it was heart warming.

     Honestly the Deputy didn't know why she'd even come there other than Kim's wishes. She was putting everyone in that home in danger just by being near it, she was putting Carmina in danger. The thought of something happening to any of them because of her made the Deputy's stomach turn.

     Before she left the Deputy found a piece of paper and wrote a note to Nick and Kim thanking them for letting her stay with them. She set the note on the coffee table and grabbed her jacket and crutch and left the house. She said one final goodbye to Nick and drove off.

While she drove the Deputy felt around in the pockets of her jeans until she found what she was looking for. It was a small paper note that she'd peeled off the Bliss bullet when it first shot her. Now she unfolded the tiny note and read what it said.

Come home, soldier.

It was Jacob, he'd found her.

The Deputy fumed while she drove. Jacob fucking Seed was the one that shot her, or at least he sent one of his men to shoot her. Everything added up to him being there though. There was no capture party, there were no hunters, nobody to pick her up. He just shot her with a Bliss bullet to fuck with her head, not to kidnap her.

The Deputy muttered curses to herself (and Jacob) while she watched the scenery around her change from the warm sunny fields of Holland Valley to the tall pines and old cabins of the Whitetail Mountains. She may have told Nick that she was going to spend sometime with Sharky but she changed her mind. She had some revenge to take.

She'd already called Jess on the radio and asked her to meet her at the lumbar mill. Jess was more than happy to agree, especially after hearing the vengeful tone in her voice. When she pulled up to the lumbar mill Jess was already standing out front, her bow ready in her hands. The Deputy didn't get out of the truck, just stopped and let Jess get in.

"Where are we going?" Jess asked while she hopped in the passenger seat.

"I don't know but it might get messy." The Deputy warned as she backed out the way she came.

They drove in silence for a while, not even listening to the radio. Jess glanced over at the Deputy. "Not that I don't love this new vengeful side of you but I gotta ask, where is it coming from?" She asked as the Deputy pulled down a random dirt road.

"You know how they say 'it's all fun and games till you kick the hornets' nest'?" The Deputy asked and slowed the truck to a halt.

"I don't think anyone says that but I get the point." Jess admitted and looked over at the Deputy while she put the truck in park.

"Well Jacob Seed has officially kicked this hornet's nest." The Deputy shut off the truck and hopped out. Jess followed her as she marched into the woods.

"Alright! Now we can have some real fun!" Jess exclaimed and hefted her bow. "What are we gonna do to him?"

"We're pretty close to the Veterans Centre, aren't we?" The Deputy asked and Jess nodded. "We're going to send Jacob a little surprise." The dark tone in the Deputy's voice was making Jess uncomfortable. Yes that is Jess as in the trash-talking, scary Jess. So her being uncomfortable meant a lot.

"What are you planning?" She asked hesitantly. She of course wanted to fuck with Jacob but she didn't know how far the Deputy was willing to go.

"You'll see." The Deputy assured her and snuck through the trees. They walked in silence until they could hear the sound of the Veterans Centre, the men training and Judges howling, the trucks driving in and out. It was bustling. The Deputy and Jess managed to avoid every guard that Jacob had stationed around the place as a perimeter.

They got pretty close to the Veterans Centre, perched up on the same hill that Jess was shooting the guards from when they got the Deputy back. The Deputy looked into the Centre with her binoculars.

"What are we doing?" Jess whispered to her friend.

"I need you to shoot one of those guards with your bow."

"Sounds easy."

"And I want you to tie this on your arrow." The Deputy handed Jess a small note. Jess unfolded it and read it.

"Do you really think I'm going to let you do this?" Jess asked as the Deputy went back to counting guards with her binoculars.

"Don't worry, I have a plan. Can you do it?" She asked and Jess, of course, nodded.

Jess refolded the note and tied it to an arrow. "Who do you want me to hit?"

The Deputy found a guard standing on the front step that seemed perfect. He was in clear view of most everyone there and besides, how perfect would it be to send Jacob a message right to his front door? "The one on the front step." She said and Jess nodded.

It was a pretty far shot but Jess knew she could make it. She pulled the arrow back in her bow, aiming for the perfect arch to hit the guard. She took a deep breath and let the arrow fly. Immediately they both ducked down to prevent getting spotted and the Deputy peaked in at the scene of chaos through her binoculars.

The arrow hit dead on in the guards neck, causing him to crumble immediately. As quick as he fell the entire Centre erupted like an anthill. People rushed and grabbed guns, preparing for an attack. "That's our queue." The Deputy nodded to Jess and they both turned and slid down the hill further into the forest and away from the Veterans Centre.

It wouldn't take long for Jacob's men to radio the guards around the perimeter to be on high alert so the Deputy and Jess had to make it past the guards first. They made their escape with only the one casualty, not killing a single other guard or hunter or anything.

When they made it to the Deputy's truck she couldn't help but grin. She knew for sure that that was going to get Jacob's attention. Now all she had to do was wait.

[buckyscrystalqueen]

Fresh Start: Part 3

Pairings: Bucky x Reader, Cop!Bucky x Reader

Warnings: Swearing.

Word Count: 4,168

A/N: Got the idea for this one while watching ‘The Town’.

Part 1 / Part 2

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You walked into court for the second time from a heavily guarded back room, ten times more terrified than the last time. This time, you had large, dark sunglasses on your face in a vane attempt to cover the bruise and patched up cuts on the right side of your face and a scarf over your head to cover what the sunglasses couldn’t. You knew you wouldn’t be able to keep them on in the court room, but you were still going to hold as much of your dignity as you could.

“Ms. Odinson. How are you today?” Nick Fury, who had been Thor… and at one point, your lawyer, asked after you had been sworn in again.

“I’m fine.” You said with a nod over the judge asking you to remove your glasses and scarf. You took a deep breath and kept your eyes strictly on Tony this time as a woman in the jury box gasped at the sight of your cheek. You could almost see your brother’s smirk out of the corner of your eye as he sat back in his chair, causing the chains of the shackles he was being forced to wear for attacking you to rattle. So you simply sat up a little straighter and looked up at Nick.

“I just have a few questions for you today.” Nick started in as he purposely moved directly between you and Tony to mess with your mind. “What time did Jack show up at your place for dinner?”

“It wasn’t my place.” You said with a shake of your head. “I lived in a small apartment with no real kitchen at that time in my life. We were at my broth’a’s house. I serve supp’a at 6:30 every Sunday. I would say he arrived five minutes before that.”

“And what time did my client allegedly shoot one of his dearest friends?”

“I didn’t look at a clock, suh… but I would guess it would have been about seven…”

“What else did you talk about that night?” He asked quickly. “Besides the alleged bank robberies you claimed he orchestrated and the supposed drug deals. What did you talk about?” You startled the slightest bit and actually looked over your brother since you had never been asked that question before.

“Well it started with my sauce recipe. See, I use ground sausage in the sauce when I cook it and then more sausage in the lasagne. Can’t use too much extra seasonings either; get enough of it in the sausage. It’s all about practice and timing…”

“What else?” Fury asked, almost cutting you off in an attempt to trip you up.

“Well, we talked about a painting that I had put up over the stove. Ain’t nothing special. It was just something I found at a thrift store for a nickel. He told me his sister painted and I asked…”

“What else?” Fury interrupted again. You huffed but took a deep breath immediately after, not appreciating the way this man was speaking to you but knowing he was doing just to get you riled up.

“That’s all.” You said shortly as you wrapped your scarf around your hand. “Thor got aggravated and started talking business so I shut up.”

“When you originally spoke to the police.” Fury said as he walked back over to his table to grab your original statement. “You told them that Jack stayed for dinner, and after dinner, you cleaned up, and went home. Is that right?”

“That is what I said, yes. But…”

“You also said the last time we saw you that you supposedly lied out of fear, correct?”

“Rightfully so.” You said as you gestured to your face.

“Your honor, can you instruct the witness to answer yes or no only, please?” You took another deep breath as the judge repeated the instructions to you. You looked straight forward and found Bucky, who had slipped into the back of the gallery. He gave you a short nod and pulled his leather jacket to the side to show a screen printed black shirt with Jessica’s photo on it, making a small smile pull at the corner of your lips. 

“Yes.” You said to the repeated question as you looked back over at Nick.

“Were you arrested in 2013 for possession of narcotics?”

“Objection!”

“Goes to character.” Fury said as he pretended to study the papers in his hand as if they were the most important documents in the history of the world.

“Overruled.” The judge sighed.

“Yes, I was.” You said with a nod as you finally glanced at your brother, who looked so smug it was almost disgusting. It was the look he used to give you when he knew he was winning at any games you played.

“And you plead not guilty?”

“Correct.”

“So you lied again there, correct?” You felt your teeth grind together as you tightened your grip on your scarf.

“Situationally…”

“Your honor!”

“Yes!” You said a little loudly before swallowing your aggravation down. You looked away from him and looked at the small glimpse of Jessica’s face that you could see. “Yes, I lied.”

“So, why should we believe that you’re not lying here today?” He asked a little loudly as he dropped the papers on the table.

“Because you have to believe that people are capable of changing for the ones they love.” You looked over at him with zero emotion on your face but your eyes continued on to your brother and you shook your head. “Because you have to believe that at the end of the day, I am just a moth’a that would do anything for her daught’a’s safety. And if that means I have to turn my back on my broth’a because he is a dang’a to her well being, and he is asking me be a dang’a to her well being as well, I will. I am doing this for Jessica. Not because I don’t love my broth’a. But because I love my daught’a more.” You looked back up at Fury before turning to look straight forward at the photo once more. It took Fury a second before he shook his head.

“I’ve got nothing more.” He said as he sat down.

“Cross.” Tony said quickly as he shot up from his chair. You looked over at him as he moved just to the edge of the table. “Ms. Odinson, did you or did you not see the defendant shoot Jack?”

“I did.” You said with a nod.

“And did you, or did you not originally lie about it under your brother’s instruction?”

“I did.”

“Last one. Did you or did you not decide on your own that coming clean about what you saw was the right thing to do no matter what the consequences could have been?”

“I did.” You stated one final time.

“Thank you, (Y/N). That’s all I have for you today.”

“You may go, Ms. Odinson.” The judge said quietly. You nodded your head and looked over at your brother for the last time before quickly putting your sunglasses back on. You walked out of the witness box, and disappeared through the side door where there were two Marshalls waiting for you to take you back to the WITSEC holding center so you could get ready for your new life.

——

“This is a house.” You said a little slowly as you worked hard on turning your Boston accent into a slightly New York/ slightly accent less sounding one, much to your displeasure.

“This is our house.” Bucky said as he pulled your new to you Hyundai Santa Fe into the driveway of a three bedroom, three bathroom Las Vegas, Nevada home. “New house for the new (Y/L/N) family.”

“I’ve ne-ver lived in’a house before.” You said as you leaned forward to look at the fake grass covered front yard. “This isn’t real.” You said as you sat back and looked at your fiancé with your eyebrows raised. “No, you’re just teasin’ me.”

“I’m really not.” He chuckled as he pulled into the two car garage and shut off the engine.

“James.”

“(Y/N).” He said with a smile as he put the car in park and turned off the engine. He looked over at you and gestured vaguely with his hand. “Go on. Go Townie…”

“This is faackin’ ridiculous!” You nearly screeched in the accent you been hiding for weeks as he sat in the car, and waited for you to get it out. “Ain’t no one in the Town lives this nice. Like we’re damn royals ‘er some shit. You know, houses like this means ya got shit ta rob. I’d’a robbed a house like this.”

“Well it’s a good thing you threatened to cut off someone’s dick so we could keep Dakota then.” He said with a nod as he looked back at the dog that was laying across the back seat, fast asleep. 

“Even still. Catch chaages ‘ere, boy, I tell ya. This bitch… this bitch’s ours? No shit?”

“No shit.” Bucky laughed.

“Babe. Baaaabe. Stop.”

“Do you even wanna see inside?” He asked as he gestured to the door leading into the house. “You picked out all that furniture last week, you gotta have somewhere to put it…”

“Oh moth’a fuckin’ right I’mma go inside. Tha’s my moth’a fuckin’ house. Gotta find places for the damn guns!”

“You can take the girl outta the Town.” He chuckled behind you as you let Dakota out of the back while he got a still waking up Jessie out of her car seat.

“Ooo, no more quarters!” You said as you pointed to the washer and dryer in the little laundry room. “No more scrubs chattin’ me up at the mat.”

“I love how it’s always the little things with you.” He teased as he followed you into the kitchen while Dakota ran into the house to investigate and make sure everything was OK.

“Bucky!” You hissed as you dead stopped in front of him, nearly forcing him to run into you as you turned around and whacked his arm. “A dishwash’a!”

“And counter space for me to cook.” He said as he gestured with his elbow to the white marble countertops that ran the length of three of the four walls of the medium kitchen except for the places left open for new appliances the WITSEC people would be helping you finance until you both found jobs. 

“Yea, cause we all know I cain’t cook for shit.” You said as you looked in the small pantry built into the fourth wall beside the door to the laundry room. You turned to look at the massive living room (that had very questionable grey tile like the entire first floor) and stopped again at the sight of water. “Wait. That ain’t what I think it is.”

“I don’t know what you think it is.” Your fiancé said with a smile as he put the diaper bag on the counter and moved Jess to his other hip. “So you might as well go look for yourself.” You shot him a glare over your shoulder as you walked quickly across the room toward a sliding glass door that had a cage like screen door fitted over it.

“Fuck off.” You said as you stepped out into your decent sized, walled in back yard, and looked at the pool with a cute little rock waterfall in the deep end to your right that actually belonged to you. “This is a dream.”

“Here, why don’t you take Jessica.” Bucky said as the movers rang the door bell to drop off the boxes of the belongings you brought from Boston and all of the new furniture you had picked out for your house. “And see how she feels about being in a swimming pool. I’ll help the movers out. That way you don’t have to practice New York in your excitement.”

“James.” You whispered as you took your suddenly super talkative daughter from your fiancé with a smile and a hint of tears. “Thank you. I never would have done this without you.”

“Anything for the woman I love and our little girl.” He said softly as he gave you a chaste kiss. “Please don’t be naked when I come back out here.”

“That ain’t happening.” You replied honestly as you kicked off your flip flops and walked over to the shallow, beach entry. “You ain’t never been in a pool before, Jessie. This’ll be fun for you. And you are gunna have to get naked just like Mommy…”

“I heard that!” Bucky said over Jessie’s babbles and the few miscellaneous words she knew as he pushed the sliding glass doors open all the way for the grill, and the small fire pit and couple rocking chairs you just had to have.

“Nak-ee baby!” You said as New Yorker as possible as you pulled off the dress you had on your daughter, and tossed it to the side. “Nak-ee Mommy!”

“Mama! Ball!”

“Don’t you do it!” He chuckled as you stepped out of your jeans, choosing to placate him by leaving your thong on.

“Tan lines.” You said with a glare at him as you sat down on the edge to take off your shirt, which caused one of the younger movers to put down your rocking chair roughly and bee line it back into the house.

“Modesty.” He said as he watched you stand up and pull the strap of your panties up a bit on your hips to slightly cover the ‘Boston Strong’ Massachusetts state shaped tattoo on your hip, which according to your new “official” life story was a memorial to your dead mother who was born and raised in Boston and the location of your birth and the first couple years of your life before you “moved to New York”. You hated that it no longer could stand for your love of your hometown. “Damn, baby. The things I would do to you…”

“That’s how we got this one.” You said as you walked out into the sun warmed water. “Want another?”

“Oh, hell yea.” He said as he turned away to help direct the movers with your belongings.

“Yea, Daddy’s crazy if he thinks I’m puttin’ this body through another baby. You were bad enough on me, you little punkin’. Weren’t you?” You smiled at your baby girl infectious laugh as you carefully walked down the two steps to lower you both into the three feet of water. “What’s that?” You asked playfully as you took a couple steps away from the shelf so she could start to figure out the concept of the pool. “We swimming? It’s like a giant bathtub.” You pulled off her diaper since it swelled nearly instantly and stuck it on the side of the pool as you continued to slowly walk deeper into the pool.

“We never had a swimmin’ pool growing up.” You said at nearly a whisper as you moved to stand just in the shade created by the long pergola so your daughter didn’t get burned with this much stronger sun and so that you could watch the guys moving things into your new home. “That ain’t true. When we were kids, your grand pop bought a plastic above ground pool. Just a round circle with a cheap as fuck ladder. We had it for a whole week until your uncle busted the side open with his skateboard. Faackin’ idiot.” Jess laughed as you pat your hand on the water. 

“Yea, baby girl. Us Townies ain’t never seen nothin’ this nice, though. Had ta have money for them in ground fucks. But you, my little meatball, get a beautiful pool in a nice, safe neighborhood. You don’t gotta worry ‘bout walking down to the spa for groceries. Ain’t gotta worry ‘bout the crazies or drugs or bank robberies every other day. None of it. And you know why? Because you, little girl, have the best damn daddy in the whole damn world.”

“Dada.” 

“Yea, Dada.” You said with a nod as you cupped some water in your hand and poured it over the back of her head to keep her cool. “He’s a wicked good man, baby girl. Way better than your Ma deserves.”

“Baf.” Jess said as she tried, unsuccessfully to get water in her little hands to put on her head to ‘help’, only succeeding in splashing you both with water.

“Sure, punkin’. This can be your bath.” You giggled as you sunk down in the water a little more. “We’ll stay out here all day for your bath while the boys do the hard work inside. How about that?” Jessie simply giggled and splashed more water on both of you, trying to give herself a bath like you did every night. “God, you’re such a meatball” You laughed as you helped her put more water on her head like she apparently wanted. “You are so my kid.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So I think we should redo this back yard.” Bucky said as he looked out the far set of sliding glass doors, which lead to the other side of your back yard. “I don’t like that metal fence separating the pool. Bars are too far apart. She could just slip right through…”

“Babe, we just fuckin’ moved in.” You sighed as you unloaded boxes of toys into baskets along the back wall beside the new, very comfortable, grey, ‘u’ shaped couch while keeping an eye on Jessica as she pulled the toys right back out of the baskets and scattered them across the floor in what you were temporarily deeming as ‘her spot’. “Can you maybe finish setting up the TV first?”

“That’d be easy to rip out. Same with this dumb brick.” He said more to himself as he gestured vaguely in that direction. “Grass this whole area in with that fake grass shit…”

“Bucky.” You said in a sing song voice as you broke down the empty box and added it to the growing pile by the front door so you could go put all the toys back into their baskets again. “TV, please.”

“Little swing set for Jess. This live oak is nice for shade… hammock between those two palms…

“James! Put my damn TV together so your kid can stop ripping apart my living room!” Your fiancé turned around with a huff and a smirk as he watched Jess grab the toy you had literally just put away and throw it on the pink, flower carpet with a laugh.

“OK!” He said as he raised his hands in surrender. “TV.”

“Why you gotta be a damn pain in my ass?” You asked both him and Jessica as you scooped her up, grabbed the toy from her hand, and put it back in the basket. “What’r you doin’, punk, huh? You just pissin off your Ma just ‘cause you can?” You blew a loud raspberry on her cheek and pretended to drop her by moving her to straddle your stomach, holding her head and body to your chest, and dipping both of you down toward the ground. She squealed loudly and took off running when you put her down, making Dakota jump up from where he was watching near the half bathroom to follow her.

“How long have you had him?” Bucky asked as you walked over and started to push a box of his books toward the entertainment center he was setting the TV up on.

“Who, Dakota?” You asked as you pulled open the box. “‘Bout two months after Thor got locked up. Couple days after I found out I was pregnant. I just wanted to know that my kid was safe. So I bought the most vicious looking puppy I could find and had a guy from the block teach me how to train him to be a guard dog that was good with kids. And damn did I get a good one. He’s taken a beating from Jess. She climbs all over him, she’ll even just lay on him and yell at me about bed time right by his ear and he just takes it. She’s his baby.” Bucky nodded his head slowly as he hooked up the cable box that the cable company had dropped off that morning.

“I tried finding you.” He said as you walked over to grab your box of DVD’s. “After, I mean. I tried so damn hard. It was about six months after. I went back to your old apartment but the lady next door said you’d just left one night. She’d no idea where you went…”

“I moved into one of Thor’s places.” You sighed. “Rent was paid up for a whole year, bills were all paid for with money he kept stashed there. It wasn’t even a debate in my head. I cleaned out my cash stash, moved out, and sold all my furniture to some guy few blocks over who was moving in to the section 8 housing for wicked cheap. Got rid of my main car to pay for Jessie’s doctor visits.”

“That’s why I couldn’t find anything in your name.” He said, sadly as you both turned around to look at your daughter as she rattled the baby gate that prevented her from going upstairs. “Jessica!” Your daughter whipped around so quickly she stumbled and landed on her butt. “Leave it alone. No.” Her bottom lip trembled for only a moment before Dakota came over to give her a kiss and nudge her until she stood up again to keep playing.

“I know you didn’t want to leave.” You said softly as you watched Jess put her butt in the air to get her feet under her before grabbing on to her four legged best friend so she didn’t topple over. “I’d like to think I knew you well enough to know that. But we both have to accept that our… relationship is wicked fuckin’ complicated. I have to accept that I don’t know what’s true and what was a lie about what you told me about yourself. And you have to accept that me and your daughter were unfortunately collateral damage because of your job. It sucks, we both hate it. 

But we are also here together; just you and me. Not that I mind that at all because have you seen you naked? And have you cried on your shoulder? And for fucks sake, have you ever, ever met another poor fuck that can sit and listen to me for any fucking stretch of time? Do you think anyone else can put up with sleeping with me? No, because you’re the fucking saint to my satan. But you need to remember something. We are actually, legally new people here. I’m a fucking secretary for fucks sake. And you’re a fucking mechanic. So now, we get to develop those people together. Like… I think, I spent a spring break in Miami Beach and I was on some spring break pool party music video show on MTV. And you could be an army vet…”

“I am an army vet.” He interrupted.

“Then you can still be an army vet, jerk face.” You laughed as you gently pushed his shoulder. “Are you even hearing what I’m saying or is New James a shit listener?”

“I hear you.” He chuckled as he grabbed your wrist and pulled you over to him. “I hate that you’re the rational one of us and I’m the emotional one.”

“That’s what you get when you’re raised on the streets of Charlestown. Rationality.” You both looked over at a single bark, a large bang, and Jessica’s sudden scream cry, and you had no idea which one of you ran into the kitchen faster to get to her. She had somehow managed to pull the oven open, and it must have knocked her down when gravity took over.

“Oh, my poor baby.” Bucky cooed as he picked her up.

“Oh, she’s fine.” You said as you shut the oven with your heel and pointed at him. “Shoulda had the TV set up. She’d be watching Mickey Mouse right now.”

“You know what… fuck you.” He laughed as he cuddled his daughter closer. “Go be rational somewhere else.”

“I’m tellin’ you now, that baby may not be raised in the Town but she sure as fuck ain’t gunna be no pussy ass bitch baby, you hear me?” You called out as you grabbed the next DVD box. “She’s got Townie blood…”

“She’s got sweet New York blood, too.” He said as grabbed the two remotes and sat down with his little love to coddle her. “Tell your Mommy that you’re going to be a sweet little angel, aren’t you.”

“Oh, God help us all!” You groaned playfully as you unloaded the next box while Bucky set up the TV and cable under the watchful eyes of Jessie and Dakota.

Part 4

[aion-rsa]

Brooklyn Nine-Nine’s Funniest Guest Cast Characters

https://ift.tt/3oTakdX

Warning: contains Brooklyn Nine-Nine spoilers.

Brooklyn Nine Nine is one of the funniest sitcoms around thanks to its fantastic ensemble cast and just-broad-enough humour blended with almost-realistic cop show elements. But that great regular cast are supported by an equally brilliant array of recurring characters and guest stars. In this list, we’re celebrating the funniest of the show’s less often-seen characters, those guest appearances who’ve turned up once or twice to inject a fresh burst of comic energy into the show.

Note that we’re not counting regular recurring characters like Adrian Pimento, Madeline Wuntch, or Kevin Cozner, aka Mr Raymond Holt. If they turn up more than once a year, or in more than three episodes in one season, they’re off the list.

12. Adam Sandler, played by himself in Operation: Broken Feather, Season 1, Episode 15

Adam Sandler’s appearance as himself in Season One is beautifully self-deprecating as well as funny. His deadpan delivery of “I’m a serious person” is hilarious in just the right way – of course the real Sandler is, presumably, as serious and as complex as anyone else, but he knows his own public persona and just how to play on it in the right way to raise a different kind of laugh. The interest in antiquities, the planned film about the Russian Revolution, it’s all funny – and somewhat undercut, even more amusingly, by his taunting of Jake straight afterwards. The whole scene did help to flush out a criminal though, so it wasn’t a total loss for Jake.

Funniest moment: Admitting his “serious” Russian Revolution film features Kevin James as Trotsky, and a wife who doesn’t wear a bra through the whole film.

11. Geoffrey Hoytsman, played by Chris Parnell in two episodes in Season 2

When Jake’s lawyer girlfriend Sophia uses her boss as a transparent excuse to break up with him (by going on ‘pause’), Jake wilfully misunderstands and decides that the boss is the key problem, so he sets off to make the man like him. It all goes horribly wrong when Jake finds Hoytsman snorting cocaine in the bathroom, which Hoytsman claims he was doing accidentally while screaming loudly that Jake is arresting him to the whole room of lawyers. Sophia somehow still ends up blaming Jake – probably because she simply wanted to break up with him in the first place – and Hoytsman ends up returning to take Jake hostage and quite seriously threaten his life later in the season. Parnell’s over-the-top performance as a character who is, of course, high for much of the time, is what really sells the character.

Funniest moment: Sniffing cocaine off his collar in the middle of the police precinct.

10. Jessica Day, played by Zooey Deschanel in The Night Shift, Season 4, Episode 4

Back in 2016, both New Girl and Brooklyn Nine Nine were active Fox sitcoms, so the network decided to do a crossover event in which the New Girl characters travelled to New York City and ran into the 99. Most of the crossover scenes actually ended up in the New Girl episode, but Zooey Deschanel’s character Jess Day did make a brief appearance in the otherwise stand-alone Brooklyn Nine Nine half of the crossover. While the New Girl episode provided a lot more context for Jess’s feelings about New York and her stress level surrounding Schmidt’s mom’s car and the soup she’s carrying, her appearance as an apparently slightly nutty woman who resists Jake’s attempts to commandeer the car is an entertaining interlude during the half hour.  

Funniest moment: Insisting that Jake’s oath to serve and protect applies to her soup.

9. Philip Davidson, played by Sterling K. Brown in The Box, Season 5, Episode 14

If this were a list of the show’s ‘best’ guest characters, rather than ‘funniest’, the top ranked would surely be Philip Davidson, played by Sterling K. Brown. ‘The Box’ is a tight, taught bottle episode that takes full advantage of Brooklyn Nine Nine’s hybrid status as both sitcom and cop show, and Brown’s Davidson forms a strong third of a triangle in this three-header with Holt and Peralta. It’s a really strong performance, but given that he’s playing a tough-to-crack murder suspect, not really the funniest, exactly. Still, he gets a good few laughs when appropriate over the course of a really engaging half hour of comedy/cop show crossover.

Funniest moment: When Davidson finally cracks, he cracks hard – his confession is equal parts triumphant, cathartic, and hilarious.

8. Karen Haas, played by Maya Rudolph in Coral Palms Parts 1&2, Season 4, Episodes 1&2

Maya Rudolph has a good line going in slightly weary authority figures (see also: The Good Place). Handling Holt and Peralta while they’re in witness protection is not an easy job and her exasperation at Jake’s refusal to accept his situation is well played. Haas is really funny, though, when she starts bringing her own issues into her official duties, clearly trying to get permission to cheat on her husband from someone, anyone – and Holt is happy to oblige.

Funniest moment: Whoever it is she wants to sleep with is “really young” – something that clearly shouldn’t be funny, but the face Rudolph pulls as she says it is what sells it.

7. Lin-Manuel Miranda as David Santiago in The Golden Child, Season 6, Episode 9

Miranda is marvellously smarmy as Amy’s too-perfect brother, her demanding parents’ favourite, who snubs popular culture and shows off by saving people’s lives (including Amy’s own husband). Amy’s delighted reaction when he’s arrested for cocaine possession and deep disappointment when he turns out to be innocent are highlights, but the funniest scene by far is the dance-off between David and Amy, in which both comprehensively demonstrate that dancing is not among the Santiago family’s many strengths.

Read more

TV

Brooklyn Nine-Nine Remake Series Baffles Internet

By Kirsten Howard

TV

The Best Brooklyn Nine-Nine Episodes

By Alec Bojalad and 1 other

Funniest moment: David thinks elbows should form a bigger part of a dance routine than they really should.

6. Frederick, played by Nick Offerman in Ava, Season 3, Episode 8

Any time we meet Captain Holt’s friends and family, many of whom share his stoic, Vulcan-like demeanour, it’s always hilarious. JK Simmons as his old friend Dillman very nearly made the list, but he was just pipped to the post by Ron Swanson – sorry, Nick Offerman – as Holt’s ex-boyfriend. There’s a lot of crossover between Parks and Recreation and Brooklyn Nine Nine among the cast and crew and Offerman isn’t even the only Parks & Rec alumnus to appear on this list, but he’s probably the one whose appearance most quickly calls to mind his earlier character. The idea that Holt’s ex-boyfriend is Ron F-ing Swanson is just genius. OK, Frederick lacks Swanson’s magnificent moustache (though he has a glorious beard) and he’s even more brusque and stand-off-ish, but he’s a perfect match for Holt, even more in their post-break-up mutual antagonism than we imagine they were in their relationship.

Funniest moment: His straight-faced insistence at the door that they have a “wooden-duck situation”.

5. Mark Devereaux, played by Nathan Fillion in Serve & Protect, Season 4, Episode 14

It’s always funny any time police characters in a cop show visit the set of a TV cop show, and for added meta humour, in this case the actor playing the fictional detective is played by an actor who works on a cop show (albeit as a non-cop character). Phew! That’s a lot of layers of meta. Nathan Fillion’s pompous star who apparently thinks playing a detective makes him a detective is very funny, and it gets better when it turns out that was a ruse to cover up his own petty criminal activity before he folds like wet paper. It’s just a shame we didn’t get to see more of him.

Funniest moment: Devereaux tries turning on the angry detective act from his show to cover up his own crime, only to be confronted with quite a lot more than a “shred” of evidence and fold immediately.

4. Eleanor Horstweil, played by Kathryn Hahn in Hostage Situation, Season 3, Episode 11

We heard a lot about Boyle’s ex-wife over the first couple of seasons, partly because Boyle was still living in her basement, hanging out with her new husband Hercules. We knew what sort of person Eleanor was when Boyle explained that he gets the beach house from December to February. When we finally meet her in the flesh, Kathryn Hahn does not disappoint – Eleanor is surely one of the most purely horrible characters we’ve seen on the show (and yes, we’re including all the murderers). She hits a 90-year-old priest with her car and then destroys Boyle’s frozen sperm, all with no apparent sense of guilt, and she largely gets away with it, too. But she does it all with a perfectly deadpan expression and carefree attitude, each horrifying act funnier that the last.

Funniest moment: She goes further than Jake ever thought she would when she “shoots a hostage” – i.e., throws some of Boyle’s sperm down the drain.

3. Seth Dozerman, played by Bill Hader in New Captain, Season 3, Episode 1

Bill Hader’s screentime on the show is relatively brief, but he is hilarious from start to finish, attacking the squad with every shouted command like he’s firing metaphorical bullets at them. It might actually have been really cool to see the squad try to deal with him as their Captain for more than one episode, with his extremely demanding requirements and very highly strung personality, but on the other hand, perhaps this is a joke that works better in small quantities. Any character whose dying words are “Tell my wife I love her work ethic” is probably a character better enjoyed for a shorter period of time. 

Funniest moment: Both heart attacks are very funny, but the first (non-fatal) one just pips it for the sheer suddenness of it.

2. Caleb, played by Tim Meadows in three episodes in Seasons 5 and 6

Jake is shocked to discover his only friend in maximum security prison is a cannibal (though he would prefer to be identified as a wood-worker), having assumed everyone in protective custody was a wrongly accused police officer. Caleb is surely Brooklyn Nine Nine’s best streak of really, really dark humour – not only did he murder and eat nine and a half people, they were small children too. Every reference he makes to his “nightmare” past is sickly hilarious, and gets worse and worse every time, including a reference to his “skin suit”. But he really does care for Jake, even if he still kind of wants to eat him. The sheer audacity of the black humour surrounding this character is fantastic and always funny.

Funniest moment: Caleb shows that he has a softer side when he saves Jake’s life – but he immediately deeply regrets it and would not do it again.

1. Doug Judy, played by Craig Robinson in multiple episodes (one episode or two-parter per year)

Yes, we carefully defined a recurring character as someone who is either in more than three episodes or who appears more than once a year specifically so that we could include Craig Robinson‘s Doug Judy. It’s our list and we make the rules. There’s something twistedly beautiful about Jake and Doug Judy’s tender but tense friendship, even in the early years when Judy is constantly double-crossing poor Jake. The two of them have perfect comic chemistry, and each running gag in their friendship, especially their fondness for swaggering out in a new outfit or disguise, just gets funnier and funnier. Long may Doug Judy continue to turn up roughly once every twelve months to harass his long suffering best friend.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Funniest moment: Having escaped yet again, Doug Judy leaves Jake a pre-recorded message in a karaoke booth – complete with a full hour of pre-recorded singing for Jake to duet with.

The post Brooklyn Nine-Nine’s Funniest Guest Cast Characters appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3kZOKSD

[niall-is-my-dream]

Lost Without You - Part Ten

So this is the last part! Thanks to everyone who has read, liked and reblogged this. I appreciate it!

2460 words

But thanks to @beardedniall​​ for helping me.

Catch up below

https://niall-is-my-dream.tumblr.com/post/186235732118/lost-without-you-masterlist

6 weeks later

Walking into your flat a week before Christmas felt strange. You dragged your two suitcases one by one up the stairs, and dumped them in the hallway. Removing your coat you realised how warm the flat felt, making your way to the kitchen you saw a note above the thermostat.

 "Put the heat and the hot water on for you, hope it was ok that I used the spare key. Put some bits in the fridge and cupboards for you too. Pop in for a coffee and a catch up when you're free. Audrey. X"

Oh love her. Audrey was too good to you. You felt an overwhelming urge to see Audrey and embrace her and her familiar smell. Remembering how it gave you a feeling of home. 

You weren't going back to your parents for another week so you had planned on last minute Christmas shopping and spending some time with Audrey, Jess and Hannah. There would be plenty of time to see your parents, your brother his wife and your nieces. Niall wouldn't be back until the 23rd which was still five days away.

When you opened the fridge you found butter, cheese, milk and some ready meals. The cupboard had bread, crumpets, some crisps and some snacks. You also found your fruit bowl full. You couldn't believe the trouble she had gone through for you. It also meant you could have a shower straight away rather than waiting for the water to heat up. Which is exactly what you needed.

Opening one of your suitcases you found some pjs and your toiletries. Stripping off your clothes you stepped in the hot shower washing away your day of packing and travelling. You dressed in your pjs and one of Niall's hoodies before heading to the kitchen and popping a meal in the microwave. 

With the meal on your lap and the tv talking to no one, you browsed through your social media whilst you ate. A FaceTime call from Niall interrupted your meal, and you smiled. Swiping to answer it, you saw his face come onto the screen.

"Hey beautiful." He said smiling. He was sitting on a navy blue sofa with a plain white wall behind him. You knew he was in Chicago for one of the Jingle Ball shows, so you assumed he was in a hotel room or dressing room.

 "Hey yourself." You replied, smiling at his cute christmassy jumper.

 "How was your trip back?" He asked.

 "It was ok, quick and easy flight. Not long been home, I've just showered and got ready for bed."

 "Glad to be home love?"

 "Yeah I am, feels weird actually!"

 "Nice hoodie by the way. Been looking for that for weeks!" He replied with a smirk.

 "I may have nicked it from you when you visited me." You grinned back. "It still smells like you a bit."

 "Won't be long now petal, five more days. I'll do the last show in Miami and then I'll fly home straight away after. So I'll see you on Monday 23rd sometime. Not sure what time my flight lands yet."

 "Ok the plan is still for me to go to my parents on Christmas Eve sometime, I can pick my hire car up anytime from 12. Is your flight to Ireland still around that time?"

 "Yeah, 1:40 something I think. I don't know I'm rubbish."

 "It's why you have Tara!"

 "True." He laughed in reply. 

 You heard a knock and a click of a door and saw Niall look up and across the room. The room he was in suddenly became noisy and a familiar voice could be heard amongst the crowd.

"You still talking to your lovely wee lass?!" You heard Lewis ask.

"I am." Niall replied with a smirk.

Lewis popped himself down on the sofa and his face crept into view. You felt yourself blush and prayed you wouldn't fan girl over him again. It had been bad enough when you'd done it six months ago on your first date with Niall.

"There she is!" Lewis said. "This Irish heartthrob has been talking about you all day, said he needed to come talk to you make sure you got home ok."

 "Did he now?!" You laughed.

 "Yep! Been going on and on about you!"

 "Hey give it a rest!" Niall said and you could see him blushing.

 "Oh look, he's blushing now. Been saying how much he loves you and how he can't wait to come home to you so he can make sweet love to you all Christmas!"

"Mate! What the fuck?!" Niall shaking his head. "He's drunk. Just ignore him!"

"Don't deny it now Niall, no need to get embarrassed! And I'm not drunk!" Lewis grinned.

"Fuck off!" Niall smiled back.

"How was your trip back anyway Emma?" Lewis asked.

"It was ok thankyou."

"Good, alright I'll let you love birds have your phone sex and I'll catch you in what three minutes?! You won't last longer than that!"

You giggled as you saw Niall's face turn red.

"Right you, out now!" Niall replied and you saw him point towards what you presumed to be the door.

 "Bye Emma!"

 "Bye Lewis!" You replied still giggling.

You heard the door close and Niall resume his original position in front of you.

 "Sorry about him." He said, his face still red.

"Have you got time for phone sex?" You asked him.

His eyes widened in shock and you could see him trying to decide how to answer the question. It was something that you had explored a few times whilst you had been apart. But it has always been when you were just going to sleep and Niall was in a hotel room. He was in a dressing room waiting to perform that evening, anyone could walk in.

"I have to go for sound check in like ten minutes. But fuck I would if I could." He managed to mumble out.

"Ah that's a shame." You smirked. "Could still show you the good stuff if you like?"

"Yeah?" He stuttered.

"Mmmm." You replied as you pulled his hoodie over your head, revealing just a plain light pink vest top underneath. 

You heard him breath out a huge sigh at the sight of your breasts, just visible beneath your thin top.

"More?" You asked him, as you saw him reach down and adjust himself beneath his jeans.

"Yes." He croaked out before clearing his throat and repeating himself.

Pulling the top over your head you heard him moan out and mumble something about how you were driving him crazy. When you reached across and tweaked your nipple, he moaned again and rubbed his free hand across his face, down his chest and to his jeans. His hand palmed himself over his bulge and he blew out a sigh of relief.

A knock on the door on his end brought him back to reality and he leaned forward, his elbows on his knees to try and disguise his erection. No one entered the room however but someone did call out a ten minute call for his sound check.

"Yeah be there in five." He called out.  

You saw him shake his head.

"I have to go." He sighed. "But I need to go and sort out this first."

And he turned the camera down to show you his big problem.

"Go to the bathroom and let me watch." You asked him.

"Yeah? You'd like that?" He replied, his eyebrows raised.

"Mmmmm." You simply answered with as you stroked your nipples again. He groaned, but quickly stood up and made his way to the ensuite bathroom, locking the door behind him. 

With his phone propped up by the sink, he quickly opened his button and unzipped his jeans. The sight of his thick cock as he pulled himself from his jeans made your core throb.

"Oh baby look how worked up you are." You whispered as you slipped your hand beneath your shorts.

"All for you, see what you do to me?" He replied panting, as he ran his thumb over his bright red tip moving the precum down his length.

"I barely did anything."

"I've not made love to you in six weeks babe, I'm going to cum in like two minutes I'm so worked up by the sight of your tits."

 "Yeah, two minutes? Is that a challenge?"

"Definitely, and you better be touching yourself to." He whispered back.

"I am." You replied and you saw him bite his lip to hold back a moan.

Neither of you spoke again in case someone happened to enter Nialls dressing room. There were low breaths and pants from you both as you desperately seeked your release. Your fingers were running over your clit, while you teased your nipples with the other hand. Keeping eye contact with Niall was hard, your eyes were practically rolling in the back of your head as you got closer. The tightness in your stomach built more and more as you watched him stroke his hard cock with his left hand and tug on his balls with his right.

His movements became sloppy and you knew he was close, the thought of it pushed you to your orgasm and you mewled as you came, your body almost convulsing at the strength of your release.

Low pants of your name from Niall's lips told you he was coming to, and you saw him release his grip on his balls to try and catch the heavy stream of his orgasm.

"Jesus christ." He mumbled as he surveyed the mess in his hands.

"That was about two minutes. Challenge won." You said with a smirk.

********

The Cosy Coffee Corner was quiet today, the early Monday morning rush of commuters and dog walkers had been and gone. Mr and Mrs Davidson had sat at their usual spot by the window reading the newspaper like they always did at least 3 or 4 mornings a week. You'd come down early to offer help to Audrey with the customers, having been awake since dawn. You hadn't been able to get back to sleep after waking up at 5am, your mind filled with thoughts of Niall and his arrival back from Miami today.

You weren't sure how long the flight was or what time you would see him today. It all depended on how he slept on the flight and if he was jetlagged. The sheer desperation to see him was ridiculous.

Your internship at the London office of Foundation Interior Designs didn't start until the new year, and you weren't due to go to your parents until tomorrow. Feeling at a bit of a loss you'd served the familiar customers alongside Audrey and sipped your morning coffee. No one made coffee like Audrey.

It felt great to be back in the safety and comfort of The Cosy Coffee Corner though and Audrey had been excited to see you. When you'd left, it had been the end of the summer, but now the cafe was covered in Christmas decorations. The handmade garland was hanging across the counter by the till. A large Christmas tree took over the corner by the window. The whole place smelled of the usual freshly made pastries and coffee but now with a hint of Winter smells of cinnamon, nutmeg and gingerbread.

 "What time is he due back?" Audrey asked you as she cleared the table next to the counter.

"Not sure. Do you mind if I hang around here for a bit longer?"

 "Of course not love."

The bell above the door jingled and you looked up to see a woman carrying a familiar looking bouquet of flowers.

"Hi, I have a delivery for Emma Pearce." She said.

"That's me, thanks." You replied taking the bouquet. Right on time you thought. Niall had never missed your weekly delivery of flowers since you'd been apart.

Taking the small card in your hand, your saw a printed message.

"To my beautiful girl, can't wait to see you today. Love you. N xxx"

"Wish I could find someone to send me flowers ever week." Audrey said as she came to stand beside you. "These are beautiful."

"I can set you up on one of those dating sites if you like?!"

"Oh god no child, can you imagine the weirdos I'd meet?!"

"Not everyone on them is a weirdo!" You replied sniggering.

"Of course not, but I'm bound to be matched with one. Would be just my luck." She said.

"Didn't know you were looking at dating again Audrey?"

It had been quite a few years since Audrey had lost her husband and you hadn't realised she was thinking about meeting new people.

"Well I'm not really, but it would be nice to go out for dinner and have some male company sometimes. And not like that before you raise your eyebrows at me girl!" She laughed.

"I never said anything!"

 "Go grab a book and take a seat, I'll bring you over some lunch." She said, slowly shifting you out from behind the counter.

"You don't need to do that."

"Yes I do, I haven't been able to mother you for months!" She replied smiling. 

"I've missed that actually." You replIed smiling back.

Placing your flowers on one of the tables by the Christmas tree in the window, you browsed the books selecting one that's cover looked intriguing. Sitting down you started to read, Audrey soon brought you over a sandwich, a gingerbread man and another coffee.

You soon got lost in the book, you'd been reading quite a bit while you'd been away in Paris. It had helped the evenings go quickly when you were on your own. The cafe started to pick up with the lunch time rush, people popping in for sandwiches and coffees from local businesses near by, the bell above the door jingling every so often.

You didn't notice when someone stood in front of you but your head soon looked up when that someone cleared their throat.

Your mouth opened in shock at the sight of Niall standing in front of you. He had on a thick black coat and a grey paddy cap, all wrapped up and cosy from the December weather.

"Is this seat taken?" He asked gesturing towards the seat opposite you.

"Definitely not." You managed to reply, still shocked at seeing him front of you.

You hadn't expected to see him in here, thinking he would probably text you and say he was coming over to your flat or something. He moved closer to you, leaning down so you were face to face, just inches from each other.

"Good." He said as he leaned in and kissed you.

Tag list

@awomanindeniall​

@horanscran​

@flnialler​

@winchesterwife27​

@ihearthemcallingforyou​

@niallismymuse​

@someoneunimportantxx​​

[madebyleftovermuses]

Chapter Twenty-One: The Hellbound Heart

The recap is really neat

Sabrina is already in hell following hellfire

Never thought that’s what hell looked like kinda thought it would look like cities

Oh, apparently Satan got out of Nick

Don’t you know Nick, Sabrina would never leave you behind

“daddy loves you too” because that’s not creepy

It was a dream!

The Academy still living at Sabrina’s

Hilda made a proper English breakfast ❤

Dorcas “I thought we were having French toast and strudel”

Zelda is like “fuck off, this isn’t a bed and breakfast”

Oh, the horror! No hot water! (no sarcasm)

It’s been a month?! It feels like a year

What are they the Von Trapp children? Wearing drapes

Zelda is reopening the Academy…about time

And of course, Zelda would be directrix

Black Mass isn’t important

Zelda will still be high priestess

Trying to figure out who to pray to…weren’t y’all suppose to pray to Lilith now?

Hilda wanting to hold Sabrina and take care of broken-hearted Sabrina

Nope, Sabrina not crying. She’s trying to break into hell

So, Sabrina back into mortal school

Harvey wasn’t sure how to say Nick still has the devil inside him

Nick betrayed Sabrina but she understands that he couldn’t say no

Ice cream truck? Because that isn’t creepy

Hilda answering the phone unsure how to answer ❤

Roz asking how Sabrina is, getting any sleep

“tons! In-between the nightmares”

Harvey suggesting Sabrina joining the band

While Roz suggests cheerleading

Ms. Wardwell is back ❤

Aw, she stepped away from teaching

Dante’s inferno is what Wardwell is starting with

Zelda destroying Blackwood’s statue

Blackwood is to host the council

Sabrina checking up on Wardwell

Still giving help to Sabrina

“windows looking into hell” genius

“don’t look at me I’m hideous” it’s just a zit

Sabrina is going to hell

Dorian has no use for his soul he wants a flower

Sabrina isn’t going to hell alone

Harvey really does have a band with Roz and Theo

Harvey asking if they can actually go to hell

Yes, let’s take a sponge bath in front of a corpse

Sabrina just had to tell them what ghastly water was

Dead people shoes

Aw! Salem can’t go to hell

I’m confused why they still praying to Satan

Tell the students the truth that we worship Lilith

Which one to pick, Dorian has a few

Dorian really wants that flower

Roz has a bat and Harvey has a pickax

Shores of Sorrow is the first stop of the tour of Hell

Someone has been making sandcastles

At first, I thought it was Ambrose who spoke but nope it’s this guy

Really cute sand builder

Ok, then, all blood runs to the city

Sabrina is like “ok, then” when he said it was clever, they are wearing dead man’s shoes

Theo has a gun

New Orleans

Oh god it’s Penelope Blossom but southern

No ice for you Faustus

Nope, it’s Prudence

Faustus is like fuck no not necromancy

Prudence just stabbed Faustus

Oh, it’s not actually Faustus

Follow the bloodstained brick road

Next stop on the tour of hell is Fields of Witness

Just keep walking, don’t look

ITS UNCLE JESSE!

Lilith sent Uncle Jesse to hell 😭

Lilith took Nick’s tongue ☹️

Perverted Wizard of Oz

Hilda as Faustus❤❤

Hilda explaining her dessert as Faustus

Theo is going to have nightmares of Uncle Jesse

Next stop Forest of Torment

You never split up, that’s what causes issues

Never go towards the singing

The flower is singing

Roz saying it’s like something out of a fairytale. And Sabrina saying it will put you to sleep forever like Sleeping Beauty

Tin man coming for ya

So, that’s how the tin man became rusted 😛

Shit the tin man is Tommy and this time Sabrina killed him

I’m really hating Queen Lilith…I’m not understanding why she’s trying to stop Sabrina and the gang getting to her

Ambrose stating the obvious that no one can surpass Faustus

Pretty sure Faustus wouldn’t want happened with Edward happen again being surpassed by a mere student

Voodoo magic for the win

Harvey is going to have nightmares of his brother

Baxter High in hell? Well, it is a high school

Principal Hawthorne deserves to be in Hell

That is not your grandma, Roz

It is ironic that Roz’s dad is a preacher and she is walking around hell

So, a witch cursed the family with blindness, but Sabrina healed her

Lilith isn’t being seen as Queen by the people and thinks Sabrina wants Nick (which of course she does)

This council member wanting a big slice of cake

Hilda playing the role of Faustus is kind of funny

Oh no! there have been reports of loss of potency of magic

Faustus-Hilda suggesting prayer to Lucifer

The Councilmen lying about being in communication with the Dark Lord since he’s been locked in Nick

Now, Zelda is gonna tell the members about the Dark Lord

The minion for the save

Hawthorne is like “but she wanted this to happen”

Zelda is finally praying to Lilith

Lilith is like “finally!”

Nick looks miserable 😢

Daddy and Nicky are wrestling for dominance

Roz telling them not to eat

Sabrina asking why she still looks like Wardwell

Hard to forget the fact that Nick has the devil inside him

Lilith needs to be properly crowned as Queen

Lilith looks surprise when Sabrina agrees to re-crown her

Prudence doing blood magick

Shouldn’t the bandage have the flat part on the cut and not the knot?

Creepy doll

Of course, Faustus would be in Scotland

Now, sex magick

I feel bad for Lilith for the three kings calling her names like she didn’t help heal Lucifer

Caliban, prince of hell is the guy from the beach

Sabrina is like “wtf”

“Isn’t nine circles enough?” 👌

Daddy summoning Sabrina inside Nick

The old ones? Who are they?

“I do lie, and often, but not about this” ❤

Nick telling Sabrina not to do it

Sabrina just wants Nick back and if that means betraying Lilith and claiming the throne herself, she will do it

Lilith a bit pissed that Sabrina is claiming the throne

The three kings saying she can’t rule hell

Sabrina saying they’ve never been to high school which is like hell

Sabrina appointing Lilith as her regent

Caliban dispute her claim

Lilith is like “no, you can’t dispute this unless you get a certain amount of signatures”

Bringing Nick back to Greendale and Jesse is going to heaven

Yes, let’s not forget Nick’s tongue

“it got a little crumpled” ❤ but at least Dorian got his flower

Locking Nick in the dungeon of the Academy

Back to Cerberus’ for milkshakes and burgers

“I’m not moving to hell” yeah you are

Sabrina about to be a cheerleader

Because that wind isn’t ominous

Oh, look carriages

[littlespoonevan]

OTP Tag

I was tagged by @whaticameherefor, thank you!! <3

Let’s go chronological order with the Real otps and then add whoever else i can think of lmao. Putting some of this under a cut bc it got long!

Stiles Stilinski/Derek Hale (Teen Wolf)

Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard (All For the Game)

Isak Valtersen/Even Bech Naesheim (Skam)

Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich (Shameless)

Nick Miller/Jessica Day (New Girl)

Allison Argent/Scott McCall (Teen Wolf)

Otis Milburn/Maeve Wiley (Sex Education)

David Rose/Patrick Brewer (Schitt’s Creek)

Alexis Rose/Ted Mullins (Schitt’s Creek)

Eva Mohn/Jonas Noah Vasquez

1. Do you remember the episode/scene/chapter that you first started shipping 6?

Oh man, I mean I shipped them from the beginning but episode 5 “The Tell” was sort of my holy grail episode in terms of content for scallison and thus, when i fell in love. Also special shoutout to the scene in “Heart Monitor” when Allison holds Scott’s hand under the table and it helps keep him in control and we find out she’s his anchor. I devoted my whole heart then and there <3

2. Have you ever read a fanfic about 2?

Yes, extensively lmao

3. Has a picture of 4 ever been your screen saver/profile picture/tumblr screen saver?

Haha nah, i’m not really an “otp as my screensaver” sort of person.

4. If 7 were to suddenly break up today, what would your reaction be?

Well I mean everyone seems to be doing their damndest to keep them apart in the first place so i need them to actually get together first sakdjfhksa but yeah, let’s just say my response to the season 2 finale was “oh nooooooooo” which basically answers this question lol.

5. Why is 1 so important?

Ugh, because. Their dynamic was so, so good and it came out of Nowhere. Like it was one of those relationships that sort of sneaks up on you like, holy shit these two bounce off each other really well????? And the dichotomy of them shit-talking each other All The Time but then continually sacrificing themselves for one another and taking turns saving each other’s lives was so fascinating to watch. Especially as the shit-talking became decidedly more fond as the seasons went on and you realised they’d genuinely started to care for each other. We could’ve had it all and I’m still bitter lmao.

6. Is 9 a funny ship or a serious ship?

Definitely funny but in their moments of sincerity were so incredibly sweet <3

7. Out of all the ships listed, which ship has the most chemistry?

Oooooh this is hard sakdjhsjh I mean, I ship them all because I feel like they have chemistry and each relationship is different. I think I’ll say the skam ships just bc isak/even and eva/jonas legitimately felt like real couples to me? like if you told either pairing was together irl I’d believe you, y’know? (there’s 3 or 4 others that are strong contenders though!!!)

8. Out of all your ships listed, which ship has the strongest bond?

Oof. Again, this is really hard. I’m inclined to say Ian/Mickey bc I think they have the longest history of any of the ships I’ve listed here and it just runs so deep, y’know? Like to quote mickey, they’re under each other’s skin. So in that regard, I think they’d have the strongest bond. (The same could sort of be said for andrew/neil in terms of what they’ve gone through together too though) But I feel like nick and jess have an amazing bond too in the sense that they really, really are best friends beneath everything and you can See that in the way they love each other. 

9. How many times have you read/watched the 10’s fandom?

Oh my god i have no idea. I’ve definitely rewatched all of skam once (possibly twice?) but I’ve rewatched individual clips/episodes a million times over. The morning the 8.10 kitchen scene came out i just stayed in bed for like 3 hours rewatching it over and over again askdjhcs That’s kind of the beauty of the clip format though in terms of rewatching favourite scenes :’)

10. Which ship has lasted the longest?

Okay I’m assuming this means like, stayed together the longest? In which case that goes to Ian and Mickey again, I believe (or Nick and Jess if you include the 3 year time jump)

11. How many times, if ever, has 6 broken up?

Once and I’m Still angry lmao

12. If the world was suddenly thrust into a zombie apocalypse, which ship would make it out alive, 2 or 8?

Oh my god 2 lmfao i love david and patrick but i’m p sure andrew and neil were built for a zombie apocalypse sadjhasjh

13. Did 7 ever have to hide their relationship for any reason?

Mm they’ve sort of hid their feelings for each other???? Like obviously not just from each other but also from other people like Ola etc

14. Is 4 still together?

Yep and happily married :D

15. Is 10 canon?

YES. Thank you Julie Andem and Marlon Langland!!!!

16. If all 10 ships were put into a couple’s Hunger Games, which couple would win?

Jfc. It’d be a toss up between Andrew/Neil, Stiles/Derek and Ian/Mickey

17. Has anybody ever tried to sabotage 5’s ship?

Yes, Schmidt did for like one ep and it was hilarious but also ended in Nick telling Jess how he feels :’))))))

18. Which ship would you defend to the death and beyond?

All of them tbh. I care about Otis/Maeve and Alexis/Ted slightly less but the other 8 are some forever otps 

19. Do you spend hours a day going through 3’s tumblr page?

I did back in the day for like 2 years straight lol

20. If an evil witch descended from the sky and told you that you had to pick one of the ten ships to break up forever or else she’d break them all forever, which ship would you sink?

asdkjfhdsa ok i’m gonna say Alexis and Ted but jUST BECAUSE they already ended their relationship themselves and i’m content w the ending even if i desperately hope they’ll reunite some day down the line. The others I simply cannot compromise on 

I’m gonna tag @thisfeebleheart, @himick, @smores100 and @happyminyards

[photolover82]

The Masked Singer Season 3 Episode 14: The Quarter Finals (Commentary & Guesses)

Hello fellow Masked Singer fans! It’s that time of the week aka Ana’s Masked Singer recap time, with your typing host Ana, because nobody else will do it for me haha. We are truly getting down to the wire with only 5 masked contestants left (well 4 after we are done here with this recap lol). So, again, we will be honoring the judges with some trophy emojis because they are getting there and I am kind of shook, but this time I am also gonna give the judge with the worst guess ever a poop emoji because it was a horrible guess. Yes, I am having too much fun with this, let me enjoy my moment. I think I am gonna call the segment “Panel Spotlight.” Ok, so having said that, let’s get started! (Disclaimer: Spoilers ahead, proceed with caution.. don’t say I didn’t warn you)

Alright, so let’s start with the elimination/mask coming in 5th place was:

*DRUMROLL PLEASE*

THE KITTY 

Ok, so this one was also pretty upsetting, but at this point I knew this was going to happen even though I was hoping Rhino would go home instead. The only person I am like really routing for is Turtle at this point (I also really miss Astronaut so I am still sad over that elimination) so whatever I guess. However, I don’t think she should’ve gone home. Her performance of Back to Black by Amy Winehouse was really great, even though it wasn’t her best performance. Anyways, I did know who she was ever since the Super 9 and I was sure... 

Having said that, Kitty was revealed to be...

JACKIE EVANCHO

Alright so yay the Internet convinced me and I got it because of them, thank you Internet! I kinda love you... sometimes. Anyways, if you don’t know who Jackie is, she was on America’s Got Talent when she was 10 as an opera singer and became one of the most successful & youngest platinum musicians ever. Now, she’s almost 20 which is insane and 10 years later full circle moment with Nick Cannon. Anyways, she really killed it as the Kitty, singing not just opera but all types of genres and killing it. Wow, yup, her voice is insane, we are the same age and she is so freaking talented, I can't even. I am so excited to see what the future holds for her. Anyways, here are the new clues that made sense for it to be her:

Clue package, traveling through St.Petersburg, Japan, the Vatican, etc. = all places Jackie has performed 

Somewhere over the rainbow= performed it on Oprah’s TV special in 2011

After Performance clue this time was a “borrowed package.” Hers contained a Bow & Arrow= she is a talented archer as well as singer (this is news to me but I looked it up)

Now time for the PANEL SPOTLIGHT: 

Nobody got the 🏆 because the judges were so clueless.

However, the worst guess aka the 💩 was the guest judge, comedian Jeff Dye, who said “one of those Olsen twins.” I gave it to him because he couldn’t even distinguish which one & the Olsen twins don’t make sense with all of these clues. 

Alright, now we have our top 4 contestants, woo hoo! These are our semi-finalists, my guesses, and commentary, let’s do this: 

1. The Frog 

Performance: Yeah, I’m sorry, I just am not a big fan of Frog. He switched up last week and it was better than his normal stuff, but he just reverted to the same thing again and it’s getting annoying. This time, he performed Bust a Move by Young MC. 

Guess: Bow Wow 

Clue package, calling his “little frog” = he has a 9 year old daughter 

French Bread on the ground = he has a song named Long Bread

Falcon Figure= Atlanta Falcons (where he lives & he is a fan of them) 

Borrowed Package= Model Airplane= The Bow Wow Challenge from 2017 when he faked going on a private jet & was caught in a normal airplane and a challenge was born on the Internet about this

Now time for the PANEL SPOTLIGHT:

Yay! Robin Thicke caught on! He gets the 🏆 for guessing Bow Wow. 

On the other hand, the worst guess aka the 💩 was of course Mr. Ken Jeong, who guessed Derek Hough?! What?! His logic for that guess was way off and Derek Hough cannot rap like that (but it would be cool for Derek to be on the show tho) 

2. The Rhino 

Performance: Ok, so he sang “You’ve Lost that Loving Feeling” by the Righteous Bros and it was impressive. This is another one of his best performances. It was a very romantic version of this song and he played into the romance. Also, you could hear some rasp to his voice that shows some versatility, I really really enjoyed this one wow. I think I might have been underestimating Rhino’s performance ability. 

Guess: Barry Zito 

In the package, he said that he had struggles before meeting his wife= he was a bad boy in baseball & his wife straightened him out to be a man of faith. 

3 little elephants’ picture= reference to his 3 kids 

Turkey hand drawing= has his own Red Turkey baseball card

Borrowed Package= Navy Hat= he was in a 2003 episode of JAG playing a Navy officer & him/his wife have a charity to donate to the military

Now time for the PANEL SPOTLIGHT:

Ok so this one is gonna be surprising because nobody said it but somebody was close. Surprisingly, Ken was close so I am going to give him the 🏆 for mentioning JAG when seeing the Navy hat clue, so let’s give him some kudos there.

Tbh, none of the guesses were absolute 💩 so we are going to skip this one for the Rhino. 

3. Night Angel 

Performance: Ok, so not a fan of the Night Angel either (she is way too inconsistent for my liking), but this was probably one of her best performances so far, if not her best performance. She sang “Last Dance” by Donna Summer and the song choice was perfect for her voice. I really liked this performance too, wow this episode is actually pretty good performance wise (except for Frog, but whatever) 

Guess: Kandi Burruss 

Lipstick = has a makeup line & final studio album of Xscape was called Traces of my Lipstick

"Say Baby I Love You”= hint to her writing for Destiny’s Child

Columbia on a map= her first studio album was recorded in Columbia Records 

Borrowed Package= Ski Gear= reference to her Bravo special Kandi’s Ski Trip 

Now time for the PANEL SPOTLIGHT:

Nobody caught on this episode so nobody gets the 🏆.

On the other hand, I also can’t give a 💩 to anyone because the guesses were pretty tame & okay. They didn’t hit the mark, but they weren’t overly horrible. 

4. Turtle 

Performance: Best for last, baby! The show allowed him to perform Fix You by Coldplay for last, because he is the best & nobody could tell me otherwise. Ok so now that I have professed my love for the Turtle, I just wanna say dude this was one of his best performances (I still think his best one was his first one when he sang “Kiss from a Rose”). The song gave me chills, it was so good. It was raw & emotional, you could really feel all the words he was singing. Best performance of the night 1000%!!

Guess: Jesse McCartney 

Wanted poster with $1999 on it as a reward= he joined Dream Street in 1999

Wedding Cake Topper= the man’s engaged to his girlfriend of 6 years, Katie Peterson  

Green Mop= Known for his “mop top” haircut in the 2000s 

Poker Chips= Voiced Theodore in Alvin & the Chipmunks 

Borrowed Package= Zombie= appeared in the Walking Dead as a zombie

Now time for the PANEL SPOTLIGHT:

Yay! Nicole finally caught on! She gets the 🏆 for guessing spot on Jesse McCartney even though her reasoning was a bit off & kinda weird.

On the other hand, the worst guess aka the 💩 was again our guest judge with the ever so terrible guess of Norman Reydus. This is so far off, it’s almost laughable. 

Anyways, we are done! As always, let me know what you guys think... do you agree? Disagree? I wanna know your guesses too ofc. Did I convince you? Alright, so that’s it! I will see you guys next week for the semi-finals wow! BYE! 

[myfictionalfavorites]

I actually do! I'm trying to convince a friend of mine to get into a New Girl marathon later this year. She stopped watching after season 3, because she was afraid they weren't going to write Jess and Nick well after (she's not wrong, unfortunately). After I told her about the Ness reunion, she agreed to watch the missing seasons (after the summer, so she won't be able to watch season 7 live, but it's ok) on one condition: she'll only watch the good (or at least the watchable) episodes. 1/2

“2/2 What I am asking (as I said there's no rush and we still will watch seasons 1, 2, 3 and 7 entirely) is a sort of guide to you and all the fandom for which episodes to absolutely watch (or to absolutely not to) for season 4 to 6. I'll fill in the blanks for the missing ones (she wouldn't agree otherwise), and I have my own opinion of course, but I'd like to have a sort of collective fandom guide?”

Interesting.  I’m honored that you would ask me about this 😊. I think a lot of fans stopped watching after Season 3/after Nick and Jess broke up.  So let me make sure I’m understanding, what you are looking for is a guide of which episodes in Seasons 4-6 are definitely worth watching?  Honestly, I think every episode is worth watching, even the one that aren’t great always have at least one moment to make me laugh.  But I can understand that rewatching every single episode seems overwhelming.

So let’s start with Season 4.  According to the Roomfriend Award nominations, Micro, Goldmine,  Coming Out, and Par 5 are the worst episodes of the season.�� Personally, I disagree about Goldmine and Par 5.  Yes, parts of Goldmine are problematic as I pointed out in my rewatch, but I love the Nick/Jess storyline in that one.  Par 5 isn’t great, but I think it does have some funny moments and we’ve gotta support Lamorne’s writing cred.  My official votes for Season 4 episodes that can be skipped are: Julie Berkman’s Older Sister, Micro, Teachers, Shark, Coming Out, and Swuit.  What say you, Roomfriends?