#okay but I do read Poe’s work ITS MY FAVOURITE

[gomzdrawfr]

Sometimes I really wanna reply a reblog ((looking at you @tabsters )) and then realize if I reblog the reblog people cant see the previous reblog statements(woah thats a lot of reblog in one sentence)

Anyways

I read all of them btw, and collect them like stickers and read them when Im down

I love you all

[yuinerei]

helloo! since you said you like literature in that post you tagged me in i was wondering what your favorite works are? i need more things for my reading list :3

Ohhhh of course!! I love giving people book recs!!!!!!

some of the books I've recently read that I loved:

In the Miso Soup - One of my favourite parts of the book was the goriest part because the descriptions were really well written but overall the tension in the book was absolutely beautiful and the ending was also really beautiful. There were times when the book was quite weird but I think without it, the whole point of the book would've just disappeared.

Flowers For Algernon - It's a science fiction about a person who got surgery to 'become smarter' and the book essentially explores moral and ethical treatments for mentally disabled and also there's a lot about humanity as well. The plot of this one was really good and the ending was perfect (honestly I almost cried at the very last sentence)

And then some of my favourites (I won't infodump you with all of them):

Anything by Edgar Allan Poe but especially 'The Tell-Tale Heart' and 'Silence - A Fable', 'The Oval Portrait' is quite good as well, but they are all short stories

No Longer Human - I mean its probably kinda obvious

The Picture of Dorian Gray - I loved that book and absolutely still do

The Outsider - the one by Albert Camus, it's a very philosophical story

Notes From the Underground - the latter parts of the book actually made me so emotional, im still not okay about it

The Three Body Problem - its a scifi and I honestly rarely read scifis, the amount of thought gone into the plot and the ideas in it are commendable, its honestly such a good book

I tried to give you different books from some different genres so I hope that I at least recommended one book you haven't read. Im really sorry if everything sounded really incoherent, I kinda go feral when people ask me for book recs haha

[my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction]

I posted 2,092 times in 2022

That's 2,092 more posts than 2021!

41 posts created (2%)

2,051 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@romanarose

@wysteria-clad

@eyelessfaces

@pleasurebuttonwrites

@bit-dodgy-innit

I tagged 1,616 of my posts in 2022

Only 23% of my posts had no tags

#fanfic - 692 posts

#thank you so much for writing this! - 653 posts

#moon knight - 587 posts

#♥️♥️♥️ - 379 posts

#steven grant - 337 posts

#lovely writer replies! - 287 posts

#marc spector - 269 posts

#jake lockley - 207 posts

#poe dameron - 108 posts

#smut - 89 posts

Longest Tag: 125 characters

#jake: also i broke your favourite vase i'm sorry what's that you forgive me great i'm so glad <- this omg im laughing so much

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Do you want to dance?

Steven Grant X Reader

Rating: T

Warnings: My first time writing a fanfic in centuries! One F bomb!

A/N: Oh my gosh, I've actually written something! This is for @littleferal 's Writers' Iron Chef! (No. 1 Prompt: Slow Dancing & Additional Prompt: "Are you flirting with me?” + "You finally noticed?") 30 min time limit was kept to (this was so difficult! Such a rush at the end!) I read it over after, and fixed 2 typos I could see - there are probably more! No Y/N. Reader's gender is never stated.

Summary: Steven goes to a coworkers enagement party and runs into you.

Word Count: 780

Masterlist | ao3 | want to be tagged?

-------------------------------------

To say it seemed like a dream was unreasonable. At least in a dream there was some kind of internal logic, some notion in that unawake state that what was happening made sense somehow.

This was just unreal. Scratch that. This was too good to be true. But Steven was sure that if he had been asleep his utter disbelief would have woken him. 

Grace, in admin who he had never actually met face to face, had invited the entirety of the museum staff to her engagement party and apparently from the lavish looks of things she was marrying a millionaire. 

There were so many people that Steven was sure it would give the seating at Wembley a run for its money. 

He had made some general chit chat, feeling out of place at first, and kept an eye out for Donna so he could make a quick escape. However his boss never appeared, if fact he didn’t run into anyone he really knew at all. And it was wonderful. 

Everyone seemed more than happy to talk to him and he slowly slipped into a kind of ease he hadn’t experienced in a long time. 

That was until he heard your voice. 

“Steven!” 

It was like a shot of adrenaline directly into his heart. 

He turned quickly to see you. “Hello.” His voice was meek, unlike himself as he took in your outfit. 

“I’m so glad to see you, I was hoping you’d be here somewhere!” You reached out to hug him and his mind short circuited for a moment. Dial up internet trying to download an image. 

He shook his head, quickly smiled back and accepted your embrace while carefully manoeuvring the drink in his hand. “You were? I mean, it’s really good to see you, yeah.” You smelt like banana shampoo and floral perfume. Somehow intoxicating and complimenting at the same time. If he could just stay and breathe that scent in forever. 

The hug ended too soon. 

He stared for a long moment as you broke apart, the sound of his heartbeat was louder than the live band playing, than all the broken conversations echoing around.

“How’s restoration going?” Steven said quickly. 

“Yeah, okay,” you pulled a face. “How’s the gift shop? I never see you around anymore?” 

“Oh, yeah,” Steven gave you a sheepish smile. “Well, you know…”

Your face dropped.

“I mean,” there had been a time, a month or so ago, you had seen each other almost every day. You popping by the gift shop either before or at the end of your shift if Steven was working to say hi. Him dropping by your offices and the restoration workplaces. 

Listening to you talk about and show him what you were working on had brightened his day to no end. 

And then…

See the full post

95 notes - Posted July 12, 2022

#4

Egg Fried Rice

Marc Spector X F!Reader  Rating: T  Masterlist | ao3 | want to be tagged?

Summary: Out of the three of them, Marc had met your mother last.

Warnings: Angst & fluff. Mentions of previous abuse (Wendy Spector) but doesn't go into detail. Typos - I am notoriously bad at catching them. Swearing.

A/N: I've used corvase's 'lovely little domestic prompts: “your mom is coming over today.” “tell her to bring fried rice or she’s not invited.” “you tell her, she’s your mom.” “but she likes you more!”' - and it ended up being a lot more angsty than I inteaded. I changed the prompt words a touch as well. Steven & Jake make a little appearance too.

Word Count: 1689

Taglist: @pleasurebuttonwrites

--------------------------------------------

You had been in the shower when your phone rang. It was on silent, as usual, but by chance the light caught Marc’s attention as he put the clean laundry away. 

The display read ‘Mum’. 

He swallowed, a flash of nerves hitting him for a second before he pushed them away. He could just wait it out, pretend he didn’t see it. 

The soft material of a pair of your fuzzy socks in his hand suddenly became much heavier; the cartoon duck on the side no longer looked friendly. There was a judgemental tone in its eyes.

 “Fuck you.” He narrowed his eyes and hissed at the cartoon, the absurdity enough to bring a small smile to his face.

Quickly, without giving himself too much time to really think about it, he grabbed your phone and answered the call. 

“Hello!” Your mum’s voice was like sunshine itself. 

“Hi, it’s-”

“Marc! Ah! How lovely to get you!” 

He grinned broadly, warmth bubbling up in his chest. She recognised his voice. Straight away she recognised his voice. 

“I was wondering if I could pop by today? I have a little something for you all.”

Your mother knew all three of them, but her first meeting with Marc had been almost five months after she had met Steven and Jake. 

It wasn’t that he hadn’t wanted to meet her, he did, it was just... difficult. Panic spiked up in his spine and made him sick whenever the arranged date to introduce himself grew close. 

His alters’ voices constantly in his ear. “She’s so lovely.” “You’ll get on well with her hermano.” “She’s nothing like-”

It hadn’t mattered. He had chickened out four times. The third when he was in the car with you outside of your mother’s house. He just couldn’t. Couldn’t. Had checked out and left it to Steven and Jake.

He would stay away for days, the worst being the second occasion when he didn’t front for nearly two weeks afterwards and had refused to speak to Jake or Steven. Even staying quiet when Steven had said he would let Jake grow a moustache if Marc didn’t say something. 

When Marc finally did front he had refused to talk about it. Point blank. Not to Steven, not to Jake, not to you. He knew that made it worse. 

It had caused more than one internal and external argument.  

You had tried to bring it up carefully, calmly, telling Marc that there was no need to rush, he hadn’t caused any offence, that he didn’t even need to meet your mother if he didn’t want to.

But instead of staying quiet, nodding, or any of the countless peaceful options Marc had gone into defensive mode. Unable to explain his fears even though you knew about Wendy, unable to accept your kindness and care and love when he was so sure he didn’t deserve it. He wanted your anger.  

“Oh, so you don’t want me to meet your Mom then?” 

His tone had taken you by surprise even before his words had registered. “Marc that’s...” you shook your head, playing back what you had said, checking for how your words could have been misunderstood. “I didn’t mean that, I-”

See the full post

118 notes - Posted August 28, 2022

#3

Cariño (Part 1) Jake Lockley X F!Reader

[Part 2]

Rating: 18+ (this chapter is clean, but it's gonna get a bit steamy later on!)

Warnings: Swearing (can I write anything without profanity? No.) Pining. Terrible Spanish.

A/N: Okay, so this story acutally has a plan to it! (Whhhaattt?) Also please let me know if you think I have missed a warning!

Summary: You’re pretty good at procuring hard to find items for others, for the correct price. So when Jake Lockley hires you to steal an Egyptian artefact it should all be plain sailing. Right?

Word Count: 2403

Masterlist | ao3 | want to be tagged?

-------------------------------------

You didn’t have any ice and kind of felt a little apprehensive about putting a bag of frozen cauliflower on your face.

So you’d settled for some folded up kitchen roll that you’d run under the tap, wrung out and shoved in the fridge for ten minutes. And two prescription painkillers that were meant to be for migraines. 

The plan had been to go straight to bed until there had been a familiar, and distinctive, knock at the door. 

You sighed, a little more than annoyed at the timing. Maybe if it had been anyone else you would have just ignored it. Gone to bed. Ignored them. Or blatantly yelled for them to ‘fuck off’. 

Another knock. 

You grimaced a little as you removed your makeshift ice pack and paused over the bin before you stuck it back in the fridge. 

You grimaced more as you caught sight of your reflection in the kitchen window. The darkness outside didn’t take the edge off the lovely bruise and swelling on your right cheek. 

Maybe he wouldn’t mention it. 

Maybe pigs would fly.

You opened the door halfway through the third knock, not bothering to look through the peep hole into the hallway. 

“Hello Jake.” You said in a sing song voice, stepping slightly to the side as you held the door for him to come in. “To what do I owe the pleasure?” 

Any hopes you had of him just walking in and politely ignoring your cheek’s condition quickly evaporated. 

His eyes bored into you, fixated on the right side of your face. You fought the urge to squirm under his scrutiny. 

“Mierda.” Shit.  He muttered. Your Spanish was awful, but you got that one.

He clenched his jaw, his whole-body tense. Well, tenser than usual, there had never been a time you had actually seen him completely relaxed. He didn’t seem the sort. Probably slept standing up. 

Jake kept looking at you and there was a familiar heart rising up your neck. You turned quickly; you weren’t going to blush in front of his stupidly hansom face- no not hansom. Just… Ugh.

You let go of the door and walked further in, heading for the living room. 

There was a thud from behind as Jake quickly stepped in and closed the door behind him. 

“Who the fuck did that?” His accent was heavier than usual. 

You gave him a small glance over your shoulder but didn’t break your stride. “Does it matter?” 

He said something in Spanish, so fast that you couldn’t differentiate the words. Whatever it was, it wasn’t polite. 

See the full post

124 notes - Posted July 25, 2022

#2

The Boy with the Thorn in his Side

Steven Grant X F!Reader Rating: T Masterlist | ao3 | want to be tagged?

Warnings: SELF-INDULGENT WARNING, creepy dude following reader, lovey dovey syndrome, fluff, pinning, TYPOS, please let me know if I've missed a warning!

A/N: ahhhhahahaha, sorry I couldn't get this out of my mind. Set in ep 1 when Steven has just realised he has missed his date. No y/n.

Summary: Steven Grant’s day is going poorly to say the least. He’s lost days, missed his date and now a stranger has sat down opposite him who seems to know him? It would be nice if our favourite Gift-Shopist could catch a break.

Word Count: 3747

Taglist: @pleasurebuttonwrites

---------------------------------------------------------

“It doesn’t change the fact that today is Sunday, which means lose my number. Cheers.” 

“But-”

The line went dead.

Steven stared at his phone. This was, this didn’t- The date on the screen said Friday. He couldn’t have lost two whole days. He-

“Hi!” 

Your voice snapped his attention back to the seat in front of him as you sat down hurriedly. 

“Sorry I’m late! It’s so good to see you!” You were speaking a fraction too loud and Steven had never seen you before in his life. 

A frown began to form on his features, knitting his eyebrows together. He wasn’t sure if he could take one more thing today, first Gus, then two missing days and now whatever the hell this was. 

“I’m sorry b-”

“There’s a guy,” you had turned your head to the side and placed your hand on your cheek to hide your mouth while you pretended to look at the menu. Your voice a whisper and it was only now that Steven could hear the wobble in it, see the slight shake in your fingers. 

“He, I don’t know, I think he was- is following me. Since- it doesn’t matter, he- I just cut through the alley and this was the first place I saw that was open, and I mean, I could be really misunderstanding everything and just overreacting and, I’m so sorry, I saw the empty seat and I just thought that, maybe he would, you know, if I was with someone, I didn’t want to cause a scene and,” the words just tumbled out and bled together in a mess. 

Your heartbeat thumped so hard in your chest that it was making you lightheaded. 

Steven’s frown deepened as he looked over your shoulder to the alleyway you had just rushed through.

This was so stupid. No one was following you, and you’ve just made a massive fool out of-

“Blue jacket? Stupid white trainers?” 

A small panicked smile sprung to your lips without your control and you nodded furiously. 

You didn’t want to look behind and check. You really didn’t. But it seemed your body had other ideas. 

One quick glance told you that you had been right. The guy was just standing there on the opposite side of the road. Looking directly at you. 

Tightness gripped at your throat. 

Moral disgust suddenly overwhelmed all other thoughts in Steven’s brain. This was not on. He straightened his back without thinking, hands on the table as if he intended to stand. 

“Hey, what do you think you’re doing mate?” His voice sounded stern, intimidating even. “Just going around following people, yeah?” 

See the full post

127 notes - Posted August 16, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

How (Part 1)

[Part 2]

Nathan Bateman X F!Reader  Rating: 18+ pals  Masterlist | ao3 | want to be tagged?

Summary: After the events of the film, it’s decided that it’s best for everyone if Nathan has a babysitter. 

Warnings: swearing, typos, fragment sentences, soft!Nathan, mental illness, PTSD, overuse of italics, panic attacks, brief illusion to suicide. There’s no smut in this, but there will be in part 2.

A/N:  What is this? What is this? Self indulgent. That’s what it is. This was meant to be a short under 1000 words instead of this monstrosity that is now two parts. All I can say is this really got away from me.

Word Count: 5431

Taglist: @pleasurebuttonwrites @raven-rk @campingwiththecharmings @alexxavicry @mystinky-butt @cocodiem

_____________________________________________

If there was one thing you wouldn’t have believed prior was that Nathan Bateman: founder of Bluebook, recluse, and self-aggrandising arsehole, was a cuddler. And a pretty needy one at that.

You had noticed it well before the two of you had started a less than professional side to your relationship. 

Small things: his arm brushing against yours if you sat or stood next to each other, he would touch your hand (usually holding it for a second longer than necessary) if you passed him something, pats on the back and nudges with his shoulder in the kitchen as he said ‘good morning’. 

He wasn’t that much of an arsehole either. Annoying? Certainly. God complex? For sure. But you were surprised at how considerate he was. What did you want for dinner? What were your plans for the day? Would you have time to check something over? – even though it was technically part of your job to help him. 

You had started a small experiment of your own. Arguing internally that it was out of nothing more than professional interest. A hand on his shoulder when you spoke his name, resting your knee against his at the dining table, little things. But boy did they have a big reaction. 

A shudder, a slight softening of his eyes, a lean into your touch. And that was it, wasn’t it? Nathan Bateman was touch starved. End of story. 

And you couldn’t help but push it. 

You had laid your legs on him on the settee while he was watching television and you were pretending to read a book. Your calves resting on the middle of his thighs. 

You had expected him to tell you to ‘fuck off’. Expected him to push your legs away. And, in all honesty, you kind of wanted that. Wanted to piss him off. He’d been bordering on the very fine line of Acceptable Annoying Nathan and Genuine Bastard all day.

The cherry on top being the tiny sideways looks he gave you while purposefully turning the television sound up every few minutes as you did your very best to ignore him. 

But he didn’t do any of that. Didn’t even say anything, just froze and, for a second, a pang of fear dripped like warming ice down your spine. 

You’d gone too far, you should-

He placed his hand on your shin, the warmth of his fingers seeping through your trousers. It was a light, but reassuring touch. Grounding almost. After a minute he began to trace small circles with his thumb, after another, he turned the television down to a more reasonable level. 

Neither of you commented on it. 

A few evenings later you threw your arm over the back of the settee when you heard him come into the room. Quickly relaxing back into your best impression of carefree before he came into your line of sight. 

Again, you expected him to act a certain way. A sarcastic comment, purposefully sitting somewhere else and glaring. But instead he flopped down next to you, on the edge of a little too close, his arms loosely crossed and lent his head back, brushing his shortly cropped hair against your lower arm as he closed his eyes. 

Neither of you commented on it. 

The next day he got drunk. Not a completely unusual occurrence, but in the whole time you’d been staying with him he normally drank with you, or, at least, around you. 

This time he simply appeared in the living room, obviously more than a little tipsy but seemingly not as intoxicated as he was pretending to be.

You were reading, curled up at the far end of the settee.

He sat down, sighing loudly, and nursing a beer. And you thought you’d play along, at least for a bit. See where this goes. 

See the full post

211 notes - Posted November 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[lemonjoonah]

Level of Restraint (M)

Pairings: Jimin x Reader, Namjoon x Reader, Taehyung x Reader Word Count: 13K  Rating: M  Genre: Thriller, smut, office AU, BDSM AU  Warnings(contains spoilers): This story contains very dark themes and may not be suited to all readers, protected sex (vag+anal), threesome, double penetration, bondage (including partial suspension), dom/sub roles (reader is a sub), praise kink, mild degration, sensory deprivation, spanking, fingering, cum feeding, mild breathplay, sex toys, exhibitionism, voyeurism, discussion of safe word, Namjoon is a professional dom/sex worker, referenced discrimination of sex workers and those who participate in BDSM, public outing of sexual practices, inappropriate workplace relationships, referenced death of minor character, yandere character, misidentified sexual partner, manipulation, bribery, blackmail, implied stalking, violence.

Summary: As a co-founder of a consulting firm you can’t afford to be caught in a scandal. So flirting with your secretary, Jimin, would be out of the question. Giving your client’s son, Taehyung, a reference for a sexual partner would be reprehensible. And having regular paid BDSM sessions with your dominant, Namjoon? That would be a career ending disgrace. It’s too bad the only restraints in life you approve of are the cuffs that bind you to the bed, because there are those hiding in the dark waiting to take advantage. 

A/N: A huge thank you to everyone who supported me while writing this story. It was hard not to question the level of darkness this tale descends to. In the end your assurances and aid are the only reason this fic made it to fruition. Upon reading you might notice several thematic references to the ‘Fall of the House of Usher,’ by Edgar Allan Poe  and the Greek myth of Tantalus. They are two of my favourite tales, and together they greatly represent the darkened desires depicted in this oneshot.

...

8:55 am KNJ: Good girl.

Your heart races upon receiving the response you’ve been waiting for all morning. The sender had requested proof that you were wearing his last minute gift, and you were happy to oblige with the lewd photo. Finally seeing his simple praise for your efforts makes you grin from ear to ear, as you enter the front door to your workplace’s building. The message will be enough to get you through the day, high on the thought of his praise while his present is wrapped tightly around your ribs. Though the garment may be confining, you’ll endure anything to receive those two simple words.

Reluctantly glancing up from your phone you look ahead to see the elevator closing.

“Hold the door!” You call out, making a run for it. Mercifully the gap between the doors widens allowing you to climb in before it begins the long haul up. Glancing over to your savoir, you find your secretary standing at the panel. “Thanks Jimin.”

“No problem,” he responds with a warm smile. “What floor do you need?” Joking as he pushes the button labelled 14. 

You playfully shove his arm while trying to catch your breath. Had he left you down on the first floor there's no telling how long it would be before the elevator returned. The building in which you work has been down to one lift for a couple days, with no promise of when the other will be fixed. It’s not a surprise really, ever since you moved into this complex three years ago you’ve been plagued with breakdowns and shotty utilities. Considering how opulent  the tower is, with it’s gilded elevators and halls adorned in finery you expected better, but people often overlook flaws when they have something pleasant to stare at. Allowing the management to slack on some of the failings of the structure. 

“Do you think you could send maintenance another message?” You ask your hand clutching your waist to comfort the stitch in your side, no doubt a result of the corset concealed beneath your clothes. 

“Consider it done.” Jimin replies, pulling out his phone. “Are you okay Miss?” He asks, your heavy breathing failing to go unnoticed judging from the concern in his voice.

“Fine.” You quickly change the subject, not wanting to linger on your current state. “What’s on my schedule for today?”

“You have a consultation with Mr. Kim of HOC Industries in an hour-” 

“Really?” You cut in, confused about the sudden change. “But I just saw him a few weeks ago. Why is he coming in?”

“He didn’t say, I just got a message last night from him stating he required an appointment immediately.”

“That’s not a good sign...” You groan, wondering what information had dropped to spur a need for such an urgent response. 

“Afterwards you have an early lunch with journalist Min. Followed by a one o’clock appointment with Jeon Jungkook to go over the new web layout. And the rest of office hours are slated as admin.” 

You cringe over the prospect of bookkeeping. Your accountant’s involvement in a recent accident, placed him on an extended leave of absence. Since you are the only other member of your small staff qualified to balance the books, this leaves you burdened with his duties. “Remind me later to make a posting for a temp position.”

“Noted,” Jimin remarks as he continues to scroll through his phone. “Oh and don’t forget, you also have your monthly massage appointment with Kim Namjoon tonight.”

You smile at the thought, you would never forget a booking with him, especially since he’s the reason for your current state of breathlessness. You’ve been counting down the days until you get to see him, with only a few hours left you can barely contain yourself. To everyone who asks he’s a masseur, but the services he provides are far more aggressively intimate than a standard massage. You force a small cough to cover the involuntary moan starting to escape. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, just tired. I didn’t sleep well last night.” It’s not a complete lie, with the stress from work there have been a lot of restless nights recently, your appointment tonight should help to relieve a bit of that tension. There’s a loud groan as the elevator comes to a stop at your floor. You look up to the top of the lift and over to Jimin with worry, both of you stepping off with haste once the doors open.

Your entire office space consists of only a few rooms. You and Hoseok had started this company only a few years ago, focusing on corporate consultations regarding public image and approval. All things considered you’re doing rather well. With your negotiation tactics, Hoseok's philanthropy efforts, and Yoongi on retainer as your media source, you’ve been able to take on several giant corporations.    

As you walk down the hall you find the temperature starting to rise, and upon stepping into your’s and Jimin’s shared office, you’re hit with a wave of heat. You whisper your curses as you check the thermostat which has been jacked to its highest setting and refuses to shift back down. 

Giving up on the system you turn to the windows, but even those are a struggle after being neglected for so long. You call out to Jimin for assistance, waiting no more than a second before he is by your side. But even with his help you only manage to open them to the grand extent of a sliver before you’re forced to give in. At least with your office door open there’s now a small draft pervading the space.

“I guess I’ll send maintenance another message,” Jimin chuckles.

“You don’t think he’s trying to push us out do you?” You inquire about the building owner, and one of your own clients. You don’t usually make such bold claims, but with Jimin’s ties to the dubious man, it’s hard not to ask.

“I wouldn’t put it past him. Though I think this is more likely due to his lack of regard for the workmanship going into his properties.”

You nod overlooking the now stuffy room which holds both your desks. It serves its purpose with a sufficient amount of daylight from the large windows, and a partial wall giving you each a bit of privacy. You’d rather not have to leave this building and the status that comes with it, but there seems to be no end with these faulty appliances. “So much for being the height of sophistication.”

While you settle into your workspace you’re already dying from the heat, a sweater and camisole overtop your corset was not the best choice for today, but you didn’t want to risk anyone noticing the garment beneath. As you shuffling through your newsite tabs Jimin readies the coffee maker, returning to you with the first dose of your daily caffeine needs. 

“You’re a saint.”

Jimin smiles brightly at your compliment, living for the praise as always. “Do you want some ice on the side?” He laughs as you tug on your sweater to stop it from sticking to your skin.

“Only if I can rub it all over.” You sigh jokingly as you take a sip of the hot beverage.

“I’d be happy to assist.” His smirk and piercing gaze look to be downright serious, his flirtation hitting a new high today.    

“Sorry Jimin, I already have a massage appointment later. I think Namjoon would be very upset if you took his job from him.”

“That’s too bad.” He mutters, his lip still curled into a smile before stepping away from your desk. “Let me know if you change your mind. I’d be more than willing to compensate him for his loss.” Jimin has never been shy about his attraction to you, a desire which you most certainly reciprocate, but your own company policies keep the both of you tied to flirtatious word play. With Jimin winning more often than not when it comes to provocative sentiments.

He hangs around on your side of the room, straightening the chairs and stray flies, while you continue your search for whatever prompted the need for your haste meeting. At last you find it, on the featured articles of a prominent celeb news site, with the headline reading, ‘The Dark Desires of the Kim Family Heir.’

Much to your chagrin the issue isn’t regarding your client, but his son. As much as you try to stay out of personal family matters, sometimes they are unavoidable, and this looks to be one of those cases.

‘Kim Taehyung has long been considered one of the most eligible bachelors. He has it all, money, power, and a spot on every top ten most attractive list, but those who have been with him more intimately say he craves something more...’ 

Your mouth falls open in horror as one of Taehyung's former partners exposes their most intimate moments with him. ‘The Gucci suits and custom cologne are just an expensive mask for the darkness beneath. He would ask to be tied, bound to the bed and struck. He wanted pain and pleasure...’ The further you read the more your chest tightens. You’d rather not jump to conclusions, but you wouldn’t be surprised if it’s true. A fact which must make it all the more painful for Taehyung. You can only imagine what he must be going through, to have such private details exposed and exploited. He’s currently living your worst nightmare, a societal judgement over one's deepest desires. For professional reasons it would probably be best to stay out of this private matter, but you can’t in good consciousness let him suffer alone.

“That bad?” Jimin asks.

“Yeah...” You cover your mouth to hide your shuddering breath, blinking away the tears that threaten to spill on Taehyung's behalf.

Jimin shuffles in behind your desk with you. By lowering himself to read off your screen, his face falls next to yours. His hands come to rest on your shoulders as he leans in to eye the article in question. You should shoo him away, but you can’t help but be curious of his response to those who engage in such practices. As his eyes scan the page his grip on you tightens, his breathing erratic just like yours, with a whispered “‘Fuck,” escaping his lips. 

“Are we interrupting something?” A voice calls out from your open door. 

Your head snaps over in shock to find your next appointment waiting for you, with his son in tow. You jump up pushing Jimin back so you can greet your guests properly. “Mr. Kim! No not at all,  please come in. This must be-”

“Taehyung...” The younger man mutters as he walks in, slumping down in one of the chairs in front of your desk. His sunglasses are still in place, the smell of spirits wafts over you along with the spicy scent of what must be his referenced cologne. He’s a sight to behold, a person of his caliber could make a fortune off his looks alone; he wouldn’t even need a drop of his father's fortune. But of course, that would have been before this public outing of his bedroom tendencies. Now he’s more likely to be seen as a pariah rather than an asset.

Directing the elder to the seat next to him, you take your own once again as Jimin retreats to his desk. You don’t even have the chance to exchange pleasantries before Mr. Kim launches into the purpose of their visit. “I assume you saw the article about my son?”

“I did, but-”

“And? What can we do about it? How can we spin it? Our stocks have already taken a hit.”

“Your son just had a serious breach in personal privacy...” You pause hoping that he’ll have some semblance of a realization that he is not the victim here, instead he simply waits for you to continue. Attempt to hold in your dismay, you give him the only answer you can, “Sue for defamation if you’d like, but whether they are printing fact or fiction the damage is done. The press is still focusing on your family due to your early misdealings in your company. I would argue that if you turn the view of operations around then there is a very good chance that the media will start to back off personal affairs.”

“You can’t expect me to twiddle my thumbs and wait. My shareholders are currently questioning his ability to lead, they might seek to replace him.”

“Good.” Taehyung mutters. “If those prudes have a problem with me, I’d rather not have to work with them.”

You bite your lip to conceal a snort of laughter.  Mr. Kim fails to notice but his son seems to have caught your slip, taking off his glasses, he pierces you with a strong gaze.

Kim senior starts up again looking for sympathy and a way out, “Do you know how many of his flings I’ve had to pay off in the past-”

“Maybe you should just stick to your own business.” Taehyung eyes his father darkly.

“They made it my business when they started squealing to the press about what kind of man you are.”

You try to rein the situation in, this battle between father and son having no place in your office. “Mr. Kim! I would actually like to speak to your son for a moment. We can see if there’s a possible remedy for this... exposure.” You stand up, calling over the wall for your secretary "Jimin? Would you mind taking Mr. Kim to see Hoseok?” You turn back to your elder client, practically pushing him out the door into your secretaries’s care. “Jung Hoseok has been continuing his work on your company's philanthropic efforts. I’m sure he would love to show you what he has done with your portfolio.”

“Do you need me to come right back Miss?” Jimin asks with a pleading stare, his eyes flicker over to the young man still slumped in his seat.

“No I think we’ll be okay for a bit.” You mutter to him quietly as Mr. Kim proceeds down the hall. “Just keep him away for a few minutes.”

Once they're both gone you sit back down across from Taehyung with a sigh.

“So are your going to talk some sense into me?” He drawls with disdain.

“Fuck no,” you scoff, rummaging through your drawer. “Can I get you anything coffee, water... advil?”  You finally pull out the bottle of pain relievers and offer one to him as you take one yourself, your head ready to explode in frustration over his father. 

He tilts his head looking somewhat surprised, “So why did you send him away then?”

“I thought you could use a break. I’ve worked with many people like your father, they all want things done their way, and you’ll never be able to tell them otherwise. He’ll never admit to his faults, and the fact that he’s the real reason the media is all over you. So as long as you don’t tattle on me, we both can make it through this meeting with him thinking that he’s won.”

“Deal,” Taehyung agrees while he chuckles at your ploy. 

“Are you sure you don’t want anything?” You offer once again.

“Actually I’ll take some advil.”

“I thought you might.” You poor him glass from the cooler and offer up the pill. When his sleeve pulls back to reach for the cup you can’t help but notice the glaring red evidence of a rope abrasion on his wrist. While he throws back the pain killer, you take another sip of your coffee rolling the bitterness over your tongue before breaching the difficult subject. “It can’t be easy to have the press prying into every aspect of your private life.”

“It’s not so much that they pry, but...” Taehyung hesitates, his brow furrows as his fingers run through his hair tugging on the strands between his fingers.  “People know that they can go to them with a story and make money off any relations I have with them. And the press will gladly pay top dollar for what they have to offer.”

“The story is not a complete fabrication then?” You already know it’s not judging from his father's response and the marks on his arm, you just need to hear him say it. 

“No, it’s mostly true.” He admits, watching your reaction.

“Then it would seem that your desires might be thought unconventional by many of your past partners?”

Taehyung nods, taking another sip of his water. 

“From one unconventional individual to another,” you pause waiting for your own admission to sink in. To your delight Taehyung immediately perks up listening attentively as you continue. “There are more discreet ways to fill those needs.”

“Are you offering?” He asks, raising a brown along with the corner of his lips.

“No, I doubt that I would be very good at meeting your cravings, since we both hunger the same type of... attention.” You smile back at him, rejoicing in your mutual secret. “But I do have a friend who will take very good care of you. I’m going to give you a name and phone number, it’s up to you if you want to contact them, but I can assure you any conversations or actions between you and them will be kept strictly confidential. It’s not cheap,” you explain, but doubt that’ll be a problem for him. “But I assure you it’s safe and private.”

Taehyung can barely get the information from you fast enough once you jot it down. His hands, reaching for the sheet, accidentally knock over your coffee instead, sending the drink in your direction and staining your sweater. “I’m so sorry, here let me help you.” Taehyung jumps up and runs and grabs napkins from the coffee station. 

“It’s fine really.” You assure him, making an attempt to stop him as he starts to blot the saturated material. 

Unfortunately it’s at this moment that Jimin walks in to see your precarious state. He stands there for a moment in silence before explaining the reason for his return. “Mr. Kim said he needs to leave soon, Miss. He wanted to see if you two were... finished.” There’s glare set in his eyes for Taehyung's forwardness.

“Yeah, be right there, just one second.” You turn back to Taehyung, exchanging the damp napkin in his hand for the paper you had just written on. “Think about it, I hope you’ll give him a call. I don’t give out his information unless I think it will be of help to someone.”

“Kim Namjoon,” Taehyung mutters quietly while reading the slip. “If I were to go see him, would I find you there too?” He looks back up at you, biting his lip after posing his query.

“Likely not, he keeps his sessions very private, but you can always discuss your...” You glance over to Jimin who is still waiting, and well within earshot. “Preferences with him.”

“Then I’ll consider it, thank you.”

After seeing Mr. Kim and his son off, you're left to deal with the stain on your sweater, with only fifteen minutes before you have to leave for your lunch appointment. “Jimin could you call Yoongi and let him know I’m running a little late? I need to stop by my apartment on the way.”

“No need, I’ve got an extra shirt here.” He pulls out one of his own from his desk. “ I know it’s a men’s fit, but I think we can make it work.” 

“Why do you keep that here?” You laugh. He only looks at you and the stain with a raised brow, no words needed to prove his point. “Never mind, stupid question, but I can’t take your shirt Jimin.”

“I insist, go put it on.” He forces it into your hands as you double check your watch, your time constraints leaving you with little choice. 

Stepping behind the dividing wall, you strip down to your camisole, breathing a sigh of relief that the beverage hadn’t seeped into the fabric of the corset. Quickly throwing his button up over top and tucking it in, you check to ensure your intimate garment is still hidden relatively beneath the shirt before coming back out for his opinion “Does it look okay?”

Jimin nods, but when he reaches out to touch the shirt you recoil, fearing that he will discover what you wear beneath. He chuckles and persists, “I’m just fixing your collar.” He moves in closer standing just a couple inches away. Pinching the two seams of the fabric together, he considers the change. “I think it would look better like this.” You nod, keeping silent as he follows through. Pulling the fabric tight around your throat, your breathing is forced to pause for a moment as he fastens the top button. “Better?” He asks, while his hands linger around your neck.

“Much.” You whisper, as his fingers drift up to hold your chin, with the tip of his thumb dragging along the edge of your bottom lip. You stand there confused as to why your flirtatious game has taken such a physical turn. Although his actions are prohibited and should be censured, you can’t fully condemn them, deciding instead to remove yourself, rather than reprimand him. “I-I should go. I don’t want to be late meeting Yoongi.”  

...

It was a productive lunch to say the least, but that was by no means thanks to you. Your focus was distinctly elsewhere. While you toyed with your bottom lip, thinking of how Jimin had touched it just moments before, Yoongi gave you everything you needed to secure several new clients. Even now as you return, disembarking the elevator on to your floor, you still can’t concentrate on the day ahead.

On the walk back to your office Hoseok catches you, quickly pulling you into his own and closing the door behind. “You need to do something about Jimin.” 

“Wh-what do you mean?” You ask, nervous that he had seen you two together before you left for your meeting.

“Your client earlier, Mr. Kim, he said that he caught you two acting rather close, making suggestions that you two are involved in a sexual relationship. Usually I would disregard a comment like his but-” 

“It’s not true, you know I wouldn’t!” As much as you might want to act on Jimin’s advances you’ve never crossed that line. You know it must have been bad for Hoseok to bring it up, for him to take this serious tone is evidence of his deep concern. 

“I know that, but this isn’t the first time someone has thought you two might be a little too intimate. Some of the staff have also considered the notion. And I can see why, the way he looks at you, talks to you...” Hoseok trails off as his eyes linger on your apparel in confusion. “You weren’t wearing that earlier were you?” 

“No, I had some coffee spill on me earlier. Jimin was nice enough to loan me his.”

Hoseok tilts his head as he raises his brow as if this validates his concerns.

“He was just being helpful!” You offer, but Hoseok doesn’t look to be swayed, and he’s right, this is a workplace not a morning after situation. “Fine, I see your point. So what do you suggest?”

“Redistribute him, send him my way if you have to, god knows that I could use the extra hand. You could even play it off as a promotion, just get him out of your office.” Your heart drops at the thought, not wanting to give him up. Hoseok seeing this takes a softer tone. “Listen I can see that you like him too. I’m sure it feels good to have his attention, but you need to get this out of your system. You have to put a stop to it. We can’t afford a scandal and you know it.” 

With the assurance that you’ll think on the issue, and giving Hoseok your solution by tomorrow, you return to your office. But the problem is far from easy, though you did not lie about your physical relationship to Hoseok, you have been keeping something from him. From all of them. Jimin will never accept a promotion if it takes him away from you. He’s never worked here for the money, he doesn’t need to when his father owns half of the city, this building included. 

...

-3 years ago-

“Mr. Lee, thank you so much for agreeing to meet with me.” You pull out the chair to sit across from him. The massive mahogany desk of his placing a rather large distance between the two of you. 

“Yes well, my building manager said you were very persistent.” There’s a small roll in his eyes as he looks from you down to the computer in front of him. 

“I wanted to discuss one of your properties, an office space in the Madeline Suites.”

He takes a swift glance at your modest appearance with narrowing eyes. “Forgive me, but I believe that location might be out of your price range.” 

“Monetarily yes,” You agree. “But we offer services which might be helpful to you.”

“I do not deal in favours. I can see that this meeting was a waste of time, you may go.” He waves the back of his hand to shoo you out, while his secretary grabs the door from the outside.

“I am not asking for a favour, but offering you my services. I’m the co-founder of a corporate image consulting firm. And come this time tomorrow, I believe you’ll be looking for someone within our realm of dealings.”

“And what makes you say that?” Lee asks, his words laced with cynicism. 

You lay out the first page of the article which Yoongi had sent you, stretching it across the wooden surface to place it in Mr. Lee’s view. ‘Real Estate Developer Lee Gungsang Faced Prior Allegations of Unlawful Evictions and Price Hiking.’ “This is slated for tomorrow morning’s front page.” 

Mr. Lee is quick to send his secretary off, the door shutting once again. “How do you know about this? These cases were settled before they made it anywhere near the courts.”

“I have my sources.” 

“Then stop this! I will pay whomever needs to be paid to prevent this from leaching out. You want the office space, it's yours.” He’s voice is desperate, you have him on the hook, the question now is, how long will he let you drag him for?

“That’s very generous of you, but nothing will stop this from going out tomorrow. My offer is simply to help you get ahead of it and lessen the damage.” You explain, revelling in the fact that money can’t hide everything.

“And how do you propose to do that?”

You pull out a contract for your serves. “I will need you to sign off on my services first. A small fee plus a far more reasonable price for a three year lease of the offices on the 14th floor of the Madeline Suites”

“Without knowing your plan, I think not.”

You give him a bright smile before mimicking his earlier statement. “I do not deal in favours Mr. Lee.”

He grumbles while taking the pen, eyeing you with a dark gaze as he signs on the dotted line.

With the ink still drying you hand over another small document. “Here are a few of my suggestions. Twenty percent of the commercial residences that you have just vacated will be handed over to non-profits for a drastically reduced monthly lease. I’ll even let you pick which you want to support.” 

He looks up at you mortified. “This is excessive.”

“No this is necessary. I’ve seen corporations do far more than this when they are not dealing with a scandal. Your accountants will agree with me that this is the best move, it can be seen as a donation and therefore tax deductible. For the evicted  private residences, I was thinking of partnering with a refugee resettlement program but we can discuss that more in depth later.” 

You carefully tuck away your contract in Lee’s file before dragging another concern to the forefront. “I do have one more request, before I leave today.”

“What more could you possibly want?” He scoffs.

You lean in to deliver your short but important demand. “A heads up.”

“I don’t know what you mean...”

“I mean if there are any other past dealings or actions which might impact your company I need to be aware of them.” There’s always more hidden in the dark, you have one of those secrets on hand now. You need to see if he’s willing to be upfront with you on every dealing of his past, otherwise you might be forced to dig him out from another grave a couple weeks from now. 

“There’s nothing else.” 

“Nothing?” You ask again as you pull out your phone ready to bring forward more evidence. 

“No.”

“So the knowledge of you having and hiding an illegitimate son... you don’t think that’s important? The existence of the only child of the Lee empire, isn’t newsworthy?”

“How did you-” The terror in his face looks to be even greater than the prior accusation. 

“You attempted to evict all of the residents who stayed in your residential apartment for over 10 years if they refused to agree with a massive lease hike. Park Jimin was the only one who wasn’t touched. He has no record of a job, living off what must be money given to him by his parents, so I looked into them. His father wasn’t listed but his late mother, Park Haesoon, used to work for your company, and 22 years ago she signed a NDA issued by your lawyer.” 

You open to Jimin’s public instagram page turning it around for his father to see. “He may take mostly after his mother, but I can still see a few clues to your family resemblance.”

“When does this one drop?” Lee asks in dismay.

“It’s not going to, at least, not from me or my source. We try not to deal in personal life consulting, but I am going to give you some advice in this matter. Get ahead of it.”

“My wife won’t hear of it.” Mr. Lee mutters through clenched teeth, it’s easy to see that this conversation has him very much on edge.

You nod seeing the crux of his dilemma. “I looked into the approximate date of his conception, you were newly married at the time, were you not?”

“Yes. She knows, but her family does not, they have a large political presence and we cannot afford to lose all support from them. Trust me, the boy is not worth the risk.”

“He’s your child!” You berate the CEO, your anger getting the better of you as you think of the emotional toll on Jimin. Not only did he lose his mother but his father won't even publicly acknowledge him. 

“I won’t be swayed on this matter. If you have nothing else to say you may leave.” Mr. Lee rises from his desk and once again gestures towards the door. “I’ll have keys to your new office space delivered to you tomorrow along with the lease. But I should warn you, if there is even a whisper of his name in public in conjunction with mine, I can assure you, your so-called firm won’t last another week.”

...

Less than a month later you and Hoseok have moved your entire enterprise to the new office space. You’re holding an open house for several different staff positions, when the most unlikely of applicants walks in your door, Park Jimin. 

He hands you a piece of paper which you can only guess is his resume, because your eyes fail to leave his face, your mouth unable to form words in your state of shock. Closing the door behind him, he gives you a nervous smile. “Judging from your expression, I take it you know who I am?”

You manage a single nod, still confused as to why he’s here, now, with you. It’s lucky you’re conducting the interviews alone, otherwise it would be difficult to explain your shock to Hoseok without exposing Jimin’s lineage. 

“I’ve been wanting to meet with you,” Jimin confesses, adding sheepishly, “My father told me of your meeting. He said you took a bit of an interest in me, even found my social media accounts.” 

“Oh, oh no.” You finally manage to sputter out, far more anxious with the younger man than his father. You never intended to meet Jimin, let alone have him find out you dug into some very personal aspects of his past and present. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t intend to invade your privacy. I was only trying to figure out what was going on. And when I learned the truth, I wanted him to own up to his mistake of hiding you.”

Jimin chuckles lightly, sitting down in front of you, “I didn’t come here looking for an apology Miss, I know why you did it. I merely wanted to meet one of the few people to ever successfully scare the shit out of my father.” 

The wide beaming smile accompanying his statement spurs a laugh from you, while also allowing you to relax in his presence. “Sometimes you have to intimidate these people to get them to do the right thing. But I’m sorry I wasn’t able to convince him to go public regarding everything.”

“That’s not your fault. In the end it was just nice to hear that there's someone who thinks I deserve better.” Jimin adds, with a look of sorrow leaching into his smile.

“Of course you do, but I must ask, why come here now?” You take a moment to confirm that it is in fact his resume that he’s handed you. ”I can’t imagine that you need a job.” He’s appearance alone is enough to tell you he’s buried in wealth, though his father has not given him the family name, it looks as if Jimin has gained some of the assets.  

“Actually that’s exactly what I was looking for.”

“Your father didn’t pressure you to come here to keep an eye on me did he?” You ask with scepticism. Keeping watch over possible threats wouldn’t be a completely off brand for those of his status. And with you knowing some of his deepest secrets you could likely be considered one of the biggest risks.

“No.” Jimin chuckles, briefly raising his hands in surrender. “I promise I’m here of my own volition. Money isn’t my biggest concern, I’ve been hoping to build connections. I want to use my time wisely and work with someone who is worthy of my focus, and that just so happens to be you.” He finishes with a suggestive smirk, making you wonder if you’ve won his affection too. 

“And what does your focus get me?” You ask, trying to weigh the benefits versus the risk. You doubt that Mr. Lee will respond kindly to you hiring his son, but if he continues to deny his son’s  existence then what right does he have to disagree? 

“Anything you require. I was interested in the posting for your secretary, but any position beneath you would suit me nicely.” 

...

There’s no way you’ll be able to convince Jimin to willingly change roles and work for Hoseok instead. But you can’t deny that your co-founder’s points are valid. 

Jimin greets you warmly as you enter your office. “Did you have a nice lunch?” 

“Yeah, it was good.” You respond, forcing out a smile.

“Really? Because you look upset.” 

You curse Jimin’s ability to read you at a time like this. “I promise, lunch was fine. Yoongi gave me some substantial leads.” You sigh sliding back in your seat. With your values shaken and morals questioned by Hoseok, you are deeply in need of someone to brace yourself on. Wanting to step out of the realm of responsibility and control even if it’s just for a moment, you make a request to Jimin. “Would you go fetch Jungkook for our meeting?”

“I can just call him in.” He makes the case looking reluctant to leave your side.

“Please Jimin just go get him. I need a few minutes for a personal call.”

Jimin looks at you crestfallen before finally leaving. It’s not often you keep things from him, he can scope you out too well for that. But Kim Namjoon’s actual role in your life is the one secret you feel is the most imperative to hide from him.

You pull out your cell, not wanting to use his number on your work phone. After two rings he picks up. “Couldn’t wait a few more hours to hear my voice baby girl?”

You're too embarrassed to admit he’s right, settling on another excuse for your call. “N-no I just wanted to let you know that I’ve sent someone your way... sir.”

“Don’t lie to me I can hear the need in your voice.” He chuckles lightly as he taunts you. “Your reference already reached out to me. I’m excited to play with him, is he just as handsome as he sounds?”

“More so.”

Namjoon hums on the line in gratification. “My babygirl, giving me another pet to play with.” 

You blush from the praise. Taehyung makes the sixth person you’ve suggested following the charity ball you met Namjoon at a couple years ago. Where he, much like you, was secretly scoping out potential clients. Every one of those patrons you’ve given him since then has been his pet, but you, you’re his babygirl. 

“I was wondering...” Namjoon’s carries on, in a tone far more hesitant than usual. “Tonight would you be willing to try something a little unconventional? Would you like to share him?”

“W-would that be okay?” He’s never suggested adding another to your sessions before, but you can’t deny you’re intrigued by the prospect.

“He mentioned an interest in you, and after discussing his needs I feel that I require someone other than myself to pin his desires on. You’ll be the carrot while I’ll be the stick. Do you think you could do that for me?”  Namjoon proposes in a low purr dragging every heated thought and possibility to the forefront of your mind.  

“Yes sir.” Your response is instant, with little thought required. Helping Namjoon with Taehyung? You’d be a fool to turn down the opportunity. There’s a small knock on your office door with the return of Jimin and Jungkook trailing behind him. You start to panic while still on the phone with Namjoon. “I’ll see you later then?”

Namjoon can of course detect the change in your tone, but instead of letting you off the hook he pulls you further. “Did someone walk in on you babygirl? I take it they don’t know about this side of you?”

“No they don’t.”

“No sir.” He calls out your lack of decorum, an error which you know you’ll pay for later. “Such a shame they’re missing out. What do you think they would say if they knew of my plans for you tonight? How I intend to hang you like forbidden fruit above another man. Do you think they would approve?” 

Your eyes widen as Namjoon continues and Jungkook takes the seat in front of you with Jimin standing behind him. You clear your throat and hold up your finger to them, gesturing for another minute. Turning away to hide your face as you continue to try and end the call. But hanging up on one’s dom is never advisable, condemning you to listen for as long as he wishes to torment. 

“I bet you would like them watch, wouldn’t you?” Namjoon asks, egging on your sinful thoughts, transferring them from Taehyung over to your co-workers.

You shift your thighs trying to dispel the building need as you consider the notation of them watching. Imagining Jungkook’s wide eyes taking in the sight, likely with a hand on his cock, he’s an innocent man with strong desires. You’ve known others like him before, they act with naivete but when confronted with an opportunity for more, they don’t hesitate to gorge on what is presented to them.

And Jimin, would he accept your darker needs? You wish he would, desperately wanting him to play along, to help mould you into submission. Your head now filled with thoughts of kneeling before him taking him in your mouth while he christens you a good girl. If only you could be sure that he wouldn’t react like most people, like those who condemned Taehyung. Your eyes flutter back over to your secretary who is looking at you with deep suspicion. You desperately need to end the call or risk giving yourself away. “I should probably-”

“Am I embarrassing you baby girl?” Namjoon teases with an amused laugh. “Does that mean I’m right?”

“Yes...”

“Yes sir.” Namjoon reminds you once again. “I’ll release you for now, but I better see you here at seven o’clock sharp. Is that understood?”

You breathe a sigh of relief at the release.  “Yes sir.” After finally hanging up, you offer up an apology. “Sorry about that.”

“Who was it?” Jimin inquires with a soft tone, but  a quick lick to his lips shows his intentions to be far from innocent. His clenched fists and hovering nature further pointing towards jealousy.

“No one important.” You smile through the lie, careful in your attempt to comfort him. It’s pointless to keep acting in this way, but you still can’t bear the thought of disheartening his feelings or pushing him away. 

...

After your meeting with Jungkook, you're left with a stack of paperwork and your ever persistent lack of concentration as you try to figure out what can be done with Jimin. Should you just tell him the issue, would it help or would it make the situation worse? If he knows how he is perceived then will the affection stop, and if it does, will you struggle with that loss?

“Can I walk you to your car Miss?” Jimin asks with his jacket in hand. You check the time, reading just after five. So lost in thought you had accomplished almost nothing in the last few hours of the day.

“I think I might just stay here until I have to leave for my appointment, I still have a bit more work to do.” You explain rubbing your hands over your face as you pull yourself from your daze.

“Do you want me to stay too then?” 

“No, I couldn’t ask that of you. But before you go I’d like to discuss something” You gesture to the seat across from you which he takes with hesitation. You’re usually not so formal and he can clearly spot the difference. You open your mouth and pause trying to find the right words as his eyes shine in your direction. The evening sun pouring into the room bathing his skin in with golden light makes it so much harder to stick to the issue at hand. You eventually resort to staring at the irrelevant papers on your desk as you open with your concern. 

“I’m worried that our actions towards each other imply that our relationship is not strictly professional.” You blurt it out quickly, hating every word that crosses your lips.

“Have I been making you uncomfortable Miss?” Jimin’s expression falls along with his question, the heartbreak ringing out clear in his voice. 

“No, no. It’s just, I’m concerned about how others see our interactions.”

“Oh, so someone said something to you then?” 

“Hoseok mentioned that a few people think we appear to be a bit more than boss and secretary.” You know it cowardly to bring Hoseok into this, but the information is second hand. You can’t be sure what others have said exactly.

“Well you do know more about me than most.” Jimin laughs lightly. 

“That’s not what they are implying. They think we are engaged in a sexual relationship.”

“And...” He draws the word out as if the implication is nothing, implying there should be a better reason for your concerns. 

“We aren’t Jimin!”

“Well, there's only one way to fix that.” He stands up leaning towards you over your desk. “You can’t say you haven’t thought about it. We could keep it a secret if you’d like, no one has to know.”

You doubt Jimin could keep a relationship between the two of you hidden, with the way he dotes on you already, you’re one passionate night away from finding three dozen roses on your desk. “Someone would find out, and the fall out-”

“Fuck the fall out,” Jimin states with resolve, reaching out his fingers tucking back a strand of your hair before curling beneath your chin. “I’m tired of this charade. Hoseok only said something because he’s jealous. He’s jealous that you want me as much as I want you.”

“Jimin,” You whisper. “Even if that was the case, that still doesn’t make it right.” You pull back from his touch. “You should go. Think about what I said, because if we can’t maintain at least some level of restraint and professionalism... then you might be better off working for someone else in the office.”

“So you’d rather keep your social image than be happy with me?” Jimin accuses, the usual warmth having completely vanished from his face.

“It’s not like that. My standing is my life, it’s my career, any blemish would destroy everything I have.” You attempt to express the fear inside you, the weight that bears on you every day. You already have so many secrets and liabilities, but one as close and extensive as a relationship with him might finally crush you and everything you’ve built. “I like you, I really do, but I can’t take the risk. You have to understand, I’m not like you. I don’t have a secret trust fund to fall back on.”  

Jimin looks as though you’ve stabbed him, pulling away he heads to the exit. “I’m sorry I’m not worth the risk. You know, I thought you were better than that, but it would seem you’re just like everyone else.” 

The door slamming between you echoes through the office as you sag in your chair. Never in all your years have you ever sunk so low. By taking him on you wanted to ensure Jimin’s happiness, to show him his value despite the lack of acknowledgement  from his father, but now it seems you’ve fallen into the same role as those who have hurt him before.

  ...

You type your code into Namjoon’s door, stepping into his hall quickly and shutting the door behind you. It’s just before seven and usually you find him in his living room already waiting, but today it’s empty. Not wanting to disturb him, you take a seat on the couch and wait patiently for him to join you. 

You feel ready to fold in on yourself as you continue to dwell on your argument with Jimin. If you laid out boundaries earlier you likely wouldn’t be where you are now. Hating yourself over his confession, and your inability to accept it. 

There’s movement from the bedroom door as Namjoon’s partner Seokjin comes out to greet you. You look up in bewilderment as he takes your hand, pulling you off the couch. “Namjoon has already started with the other client, so he sent me to fetch you.” 

You nod understanding Namjoon’s divergence from the norm, it wouldn’t be safe practice for him to leave Taehyung alone in a precarious position. Now looking to the door with curiosity, you’re excited by what lustful visions will greet you on the other side. But when Seokjin presents something to you it’s clear that you won’t get to see those sights.

“You’ve been asked to wear this.” He holds out a wide silken strip, one that Namjoon has used as a blindfold in the past. You allow Seokjin to cover your eyes, with a touch far more gentle than you know Namjoon’s to be. You don’t want kindness, craving instead to be broken in by the man in the other room, especially after the damage you’ve done today. The loss of your vision will have to be punishment enough for the time being. 

“Does he want me to undress too?” You ask, touching the silk over your eyes, you're completely blind and already longing for the next step. 

“No he wishes to save that pleasure for himself.”

You smirk thinking he might, you’ve been wearing his gift all day it’s only right that he gets to see it first.  

There’s a knock and a click of the door before Seokjin takes you in hand again, leading you in. The air is warmer and heavier than that of the living room, making it impossible to draw a fresh breath. 

Seokjin pushes down on your shoulder, a wordless order to kneel. The plush carpet meeting your knees as you lower yourself, if only you could reach out to get a better sense of what’s in front of you, but form dictates that you keep your hands on your lap. 

The bedroom door closes, signalling Seokjin's departure. Sending one last wave of clean air before you're smothered once again. Locked away for the night with your master and his new pet. There’s a small creek from the mattress and the familiar rattle of restraints against the bedpost. You can just barely make out the tone of Namjoon’s low whisper as he speaks to the current tenant of the bed. 

Footsteps land to your left, muffled by the wall to wall but still sending vibrations through the floor.  As Namjoon approaches, your heart pounds wondering what his first move against you will be. He takes his sweet time letting the anticipation build as your chest continues to heave in its attempts to take in the thick air. You keep your posture, maintaining your stance with the knowledge that he will inspect you. Head lowered, hands on thighs, perched on your toes as your knees dig into the ground. Your legs soon start to tremble as your feet strain to bear the weight.

Namjoon settles right in front of you, the slow draw of his breath reaches your ears, while the heat of his exhale hits your face. A hand trails up the outside of your thigh stilling the tremor in your legs with a forceful grip. You freeze wondering if your jitters will cost you, you can’t let him find fault not if you want him to reward you with his presence. 

But as he takes your chin tightly between his index and his thumb, you know you're in the clear. He tilts your head up as you breathe a sigh of relief. “Such a good girl, setting the perfect example.” His fingers slide down petting the column of your throat with a firm touch. “I was so happy to receive your picture this morning, did you wear the gift all day as ordered?”

“Yes sir.” You pant back, eager for him to see for himself. 

“It wasn’t too hard for you then, to go so long in such a confined state?”

“No sir.”

“Good girl,” He purrs in your ear as he starts unfastening your shirt. He hesitates on the buttons for a moment. “Babygirl, would you care to tell me why you're wearing a men’s shirt?”

You swallow not wanting to admit that it’s the fault of the man currently lying in his bed. You plan to take the fall, wanting Namjoon’s undivided attention even if it’s in the form of a punishment. “I spilled something on mine sir.”  

“So clumsy.” He has the shirt completely off now revealing the corset for him and likely Taehyung to see. Namjoon helps you to stand, unzipping your skirt he pushes it to the floor. You feel so helpless without your sight but Namjoon doesn’t seem to mind assisting. He uses the soft fabric of the shirt to dab at the sweat beading on your skin. “Who, may I ask, clothed you in theirs? Such an expensive label, he must think highly of you.”

You shift in place, made uncomfortable by your inability to answer. Knowing if you say his name thoughts of him will be summoned to your mind. You don’t deserve to think of him at such a time, not after you led him on and left him dry.

“You don’t wish to tell me?” The feel of Namjoon’s breath leaves you, the sounds of his feet  indicating he’s moved to the right of you. Heading to a space you know to be occupied by a table and closet full of his tools. There’s a scrap of metal and what sounds like the jingle of buckles. 

“No sir.”

“And why is that?” Fingers trail up your arm as Namjoon signals his return to your side. 

“Because I’m not allowed to have him sir.”

“A noble response.” Namjoon reasons while he wraps the leather strap of a familiar collar around your neck. “But I still plan to get that name from you before we’re done.” He buckles it swiftly checking the tightness with two fingers. You thought him finished but he progresses to cuff your wrists in leather too, tethering them together in front of you. 

He leans in again with a hushed request, “Still know your safe word?” You nod repeating is back to him before he leads you on towards the bed. 

Namjoon stands behind you as he presents you to his new pet. When you gave Taehyung Namjoon’s number you hadn’t been expecting this but you can’t deny enjoying the prospect. But you find the silence and lack of reaction from him unnerving. “I asked him not to make a sound,” Namjoon explains, “And he’s abiding by my rules so well it’s he?” 

Namjoon takes your hands helping you to feel the current state in which Taehyung is interned. A Leather cuff just like yours binds one of his wrists with a short chain leading to bedpost. You imagine that his other limbs are restricted to the other corners of the bed, for Namjoon has bound you in the same state before. 

“Can he see?” You ask Namjoon wondering if he has been left blind too, or if he’s eyes are watching you now.

“Can he see you? He can babygirl, in fact, he hasn’t looked away once, and why would he?” Namjoon sits you down on the large bed to join Taehyung before pulling down the matching underwear to your corset. “They’re so wet, have you been soaking these all day?” 

You nod in response. A delighted Namjoon makes an offer to Taehyung. “Would you like a taste pet? A reward for being so good.” Namjoon revels in his situation with a chuckle, the man beneath you must have nodded. “Then open up.” You know what a taste means for Namjoon, those panties of yours are most certainly shoved into Taehyung's mouth. He lets out a groan of satisfaction at the welcome intrusion.

Namjoon’s hands find your waist dragging you up further on to the bed with your knees now resting on the mattress. “You’re going to straddle him for me babygirl.” He shifts you over pulling up one of your legs to settle them on either side of the man beneath you. Your knees bent with your calves coming to rest against his bare hips. Without his billowy clothes he is far more slight than you expected, but his skin feels firm and toned. 

You slowly move to lower yourself knowing what you will come down on top of as you sit, but Namjoon seems to have other plans in mind. He takes your bound wrist, lifting them above your head and latching the cuffs to a chain in the rafters of the canopy bed. Once fixed in place he tests your limitations, a quick tug to show you even with your arms fully extended you are only able to lower yourself to half a kneel. You groan in frustration with the realization you can’t move any closer to the cock that rests below you. It’s just as he promised, hung like forbidden fruit above another man. Your dominant’s flare for the poetic never failing to surprise you.

“Problem babygirl?” Namjoon cooes in your ear. “Do you have something you want to say?”

“No sir.”

“Good, because if I recall you still need to be punished for your lack of formality on the phone earlier today.” 

Your stomach drops as you realize he’s going to discipline you right now, in full view of Taehyung. The heat rises to your face at the thought of being demeaned in front of another. Namjoon’s hand cups your bare ass, readying it for the assault. “You failed to call me sir twice, three for each lapse should do it.”

While the first strike eases you in, those that follow are not so gentle. The ring of his index biting your flesh with each impact. The third strike is so strong you pivot forward on your knees, your back arching as you bare forward still confined to the corset and chains. The weight of your body pulls painfully on your shoulders for a brief second, but Namjoon is there to catch you. Stopping you before you can slip and more, and propping you back in place before continuing. 

One hand lays firmly on your stomach to prevent the shift from happening again, while the other rubs the curve of your ass mapping where he should strike next. You can feel the warmth in your skin as the blood rises to the surface in reaction to his beating. Your nerves are caught in the struggle between pain and pleasure, even as the sixth and final blow lands. 

“Good girl.” Namjoon whispers his touch disappearing, as you ease down against your restraints. You hang completely by your wrists while your legs quake from the shock. Every nerve in your body feels as though it’s been left on fire with nothing to quench the flames. Leaving you to hang there for what seems like eternity.

“Sir?” You whisper in the dark as the heat continues to build inside you. Wondering where he has gone your body reacts, begging for the return of his attention with a dripping cunt. And with Taehyung below that can only mean the steady drip of your arousal is left to fall on him.

“Babygirl you’re making such a mess.” Namjoon confirms along with a groan from the man beneath you. “But he appears to be leaking too. Do you want some?” You nod eager for a taste. 

Namjoon obliges, grabbing your throat in one hand, he presses a damp finger to your lips for you to take. Your mouth latches over the offered digit, allowing the bitter fluid to sweep over your tongue. You're forced to let it sit there unable to swallow as the grip on your throat tightens, with the strap of the collar digging into your skin. Your mouth fills with saliva prompting you to close it despite your desperate need for air. 

“Does he taste good?” Namjoon wickedly possesses knowing you can barely even nod. It’s when you start to tremble that he finally releases your airway. 

You swallow quickly before letting your mouth hang open in a pant. With your lungs still restricted by the corset your breathing comes in short shuddering waves. “Yes sir, so good.”

“I think he likes having you drench him, shall we give him more?”

“Please.” You beg but Namjoon suddenly delivers a staggering blow to your backside, indicating your misstep. You’re left gasping from the sudden impact, swinging in the restraints as you try to recoil. “Please sir.” Your plea comes again this time with the proper decorum.  

There’s a crinkle of what sounds like a condom wrapper as Namjoon readies himself behind you. His fingers damp with lubrication find your back entrance, your tight hole giving way to a single finger. “You’ve been training for me like I asked?”

“Yes sir.” You almost come at the thought of it along with pleasure with the swirling digit. You’ve dabbled in anal before testing out a few toys, but a few weeks ago he sent you a plug with a tapered t-shaped end, giving you strict orders to wear it to work the following day. Unfortunately that was the date you had scheduled a meeting with your whole team. You were a flustered mess as you fought through your presentation, Jimin’s presence by your side making it so much more difficult to maintain control of your arousal . But the full day of public and torturous stimulation was worth it, for the reward that night was a call from Namjoon. His orders led you through every action of self pleasure.  Telling you when and where to touch before finally directing you to come. You’ve used the item several times on your own since, knowing your practice would help you in this moment. You wanted to make Namjoon proud and take him with little resistance. That desire now intensified with having Taehyung as an audience.

“Then you're ready to take me in front of him?” 

You nod gripping chains of the restraints as Namjoon eases into you. “Just relax.” His hands glide down your shoulders and back, coming to rest splayed across your hips, the tips of his finger root under the corset and dig into your stomach. Your grip eases as you lean back into him. “That’s it.” He mutters quietly as you stretch to accommodate him. “Good girl.”

After taking a few inches Namjoon pushes down on the front of your corset bowing the metal latches back to so they release, with a few clicks and swift presses the garment is off allowing you to breathe deeper than you have all day. 

“God you should see him babygirl, he’s so ruined by the sight of you. You have him panting for you.” You wish you could curse Namjoon for his choice to blindfold you and silence Taehyung, you would take any punishment that came of it, but all you can muster is a gasp while he continues to fill you more. “I wonder how he’ll react,” One of Namjoon’s hands leaves your hips coming to rest with something soft against your aching clit. “When he sees you come.” With a click the object vibrates, throwing you back completely onto Namjoons cock from the shock.

You catch Namjoon’s lustful groan between your cries. He starts to thrust inside of you one hand gripping your chest while the other holds the vibrate down in place despite your bucking hips. It doesn’t take long for you to completely fold. As the heat inside you finally reaches its peak you shatter, your head falling back on Namjoon’s shoulder as you convulse and moan. With nothing for your cunt to clench your legs grip the trussed man between them. He too lets out a sinful groan as the fluids from your fold continue to drip down your legs meet his adjoining skin. 

Namjoon turns the device off and slips out, the bed shifts as he moves in front of you. When his hand cups your face you lean into his touch. “You okay?”

You nod hoping he’ll be lenient with your lack of speech. You hear him whisper as he checks in with Taehyung too. “I’m going to take these now.” Namjoon must finally be freeing him from the waded underwear of yours.

Namjoon’s hands find you again, playing with the arousal dripping down your legs as he drags his fingers up to the source. A finger grazes your folds slipping between without penetrating. You pull desperately against your restraints hoping that it might find its way inside.  

“So are you going to tell me who you’re not allowed to have?” Namjoon asks again. “Or do I have to let you hang here all night?” 

“My secretary...” You give in with a  whisper, hoping that Taehyung won’t hear.

“And what’s his name? Say it and I’ll give you what you want.” 

The deal is too good for you to resist, you last only a couple more seconds before finally giving in. Crying out, “Jimin,” as two of Namjoon’s fingers breach you. Your sopping slit squelching as he curls his fingers. 

“There it is.” Namjoon sighs, his other hand brushing your cheek. “Is he the reason you’re so worked up tonight babygirl?”

“Y-yes sir.” You stutter as his fingers continue. He gives you another minute of bliss before removing his digits. 

“You’re going to do something for me, okay?” Namjoon asks. You nod as he continues to hold your face. “That man between your legs, you are going to fuck him and imagine Jimin as you do so, is that clear?” 

“Yes sir.”

“Is that okay with you pet?” He asks the other occupant, who still remains silent with his answers. The sound of another condom wrapper, comes as your confirmation.  Taehyung lets out an unexpected high pitched whine, likely due to the pressure that comes with the latex being rubbed down his shaft. You’re already so invested in the lie that he’s even starting to sound like Jimin. 

Namjoon is once again behind you. You can hear the rattle of the length of chain that holds you up and as he sinks back into you, his cock slipping in far easier this time, your body gladly welcomes the fullness of his intrusion.  He then lowers you inch by inch, with little strength left in your legs you are relying only on the restraints and Namjoon to hold you up. After gaining a bit more freedom you can feel the tip of a cock brushing up against you. Namjoon’s arm comes to rest on your thigh as he lines the erection up for you to take it inside. It’s a slow descent, as you stretch to accommodate both of them. Your thankful Namjoon’s mercy for easing you down gradually. 

When you bottom out Namjoon pulls the chain down from the rafters he releases the length from your cuffs, but rather than discarding it he attaches it to your collar, tugging on it as if it’s a leash. Though your hands are still bound together you have the freedom to rest them on the man laying down in front of you. You take pleasure in dragging the tips of your fingers across his skin, feeling his abs flex and his cock twitch inside you as you do so. 

Namjoon starts to thrust, keeping a close hold on your collar. While he pushes you are sent up and down on what you desperately want to be Jimin’s thick cock. After a few thrusts you are shoved forward entirely by Namjoon, colliding with the man beneath you. Your chest is pushed into his, as your bound hands are pinned between the two of you. While your head is left to rest on his shoulder, the tip of your nose is able to graze his neck. As you breathe in your mind continues to play tricks, the smell coming off him mimics that of the cologne your secretary wears, rather than the scent of Taehyung. 

Namjoon must have unbound his legs as they bend up to cradle your own from behind his hips bucking into yours, with both men taking you at a steady pace.

You move in closer to his neck, with a lick you taste the salt of his skin showing  your intentions. Biting down on the spot, you suck in deeply as your teeth dig in even harder. The carnal groans you receive from him sending shivers to your spine. There’s the sound of a soft slap, Namjoon didn’t hit you, but the man beneath you returns to his ordered silence.

Namjoon thrusts even harder, pushing you into his chest repeatedly. The thought of being fucked into Jimin’s embrace is too much to bear. Your cunt clenches as you continue envisioning your secretary, and how you're grinding your clit against his pelvis. 

You cry out over the swelling girths inside you, knowing their both likely to come soon. Clenching down one last time you dissolve in the pleasure and contentment. Namjoon finishes first remaining inside while his pet comes too. He leaves you there laying upon your imagined Jimin, in your daze  you can barely move let alone focus on reality. With a wave of exhaustion you start to slip from consciousness, but not before one last praise reaches your ears. Your delirium grants you the satisfaction of hearing the voice of Jimin whisper, “Good girl.”

...

You can’t remember the last time you slept so well. You woke early to find Namjoon had taken care of you in the night, he released your wrist cuffs, and removed your blindfold, after you had passed out from the physical exertion. The only restraint to remain was your collar which he asked you to wear today. Taehyung was sadly already gone, but you can’t deny it was nice to have Namjoon to yourself before you left. 

Now as you head off to work, showered and freshly dressed, with a turtleneck hiding your gift, you check your phone for the first time. Finding a string of apologetic messages sent from Jimin in the early hours of the morning. You reply apologizing too and asking to revisit the subject as soon as you get into work. Thankfully he agrees, the smiling emoji he ends his text on sends a wave of relief through you.

You step in the front entrance of your building ready to handle and objectively listen to Jimin’s thoughts and concerns. While you wait for the elevator your phone vibrates listing a call from an unknown number. “Hello?”

“Hey it’s Taehyung. Hope you don’t mind, I stole your personal number from my father.”

“Taehyung...” Heat starts to rise in your face at the thought of last night. The elevator arrives and you quickly step in. “No, not at all, to what do I owe the honour of this call.”

“No need to be so formal,” He giggles at you.

“Sorry, habit,” You respond. “What can I do for you?” 

“I wanted to thank you for yesterday...” Taehyung starts off. 

But his words are soon interrupted by someone shouting, “Hold the door.” You comply, pushing the button to keep them open, while trying to keep your focus on your conversation with Taehyung.

“...It’s not often that I meet someone who I can be so open with. I called the man you recommended and I’ve scheduled my first session with him tomorrow.”  

You freeze, unable to fully comprehend what he’s saying, surely he misspoke. It can’t be his first session. “W-what do you mean your first session is tomorrow? You were there-” The collar hidden beneath your turtleneck feels as though it’s tightening around your throat. “Last night, I saw you-” The line goes dead as the elevator closes and starts to ascend. It was Taehyung in the bed with you and Namjoon last night. You saw... nothing you saw nothing because of the blindfolded that you were asked to wear.

“Everything okay?” You jump at the sound of the other voice, forgetting that some else had gotten into the elevator. Looking up you find Jimin there beaming at you, his head tilted from his query.

“Namjoon,” You flutter with your phone, too panicked to even greet your secretary properly. “I need to call Namjoon.” But the line won’t connect, not with you in the elevator. “Fuck...” You try again your patience not willing to wait the minute it’ll take to disembark on your floor.  

You are almost there when the elevator shudders and stops. The sudden halt sends you off balance, but Jimin’s there to grab hold of you before you can fall. You thank him before stepping back and putting a bit of distance between the two of you again.

Jimin turns his attention to the panel, pushing the call button, he waits for someone to answer, but the call remains silent. 

While he continues in his attempt to make contact, every scene of the night before floods back to your memory as you try to piece everything together. It was Taehyung, it had to be. He must just be playing a stupid joke. He was surely going to shout ‘gotcha’ before the phone disconnected, but you won’t know for certain until someone can get you off this blasted lift. You sink to the floor and Jimin follows, unable to reach anyone on the outside. 

Despite your best efforts to rationalize what happened, your panicked breaths fail to slow, Spots start appearing in your vision as the elevator sways around you. Your breakfast threatens to make another appearance on the polished marble floor. 

“It’ll be fine. Someone will notice soon.” Jimin attempts to comfort you but even that won’t quash the fear raging inside you.

“It’s not just that...” You whisper. “Something happened last night. I need to call Namjoon, I need to figure out...” Who was actually in that bed with you. Your confusion and panic break free sending you into a fit of tears as you hug your knees to your chest.

“Hush, it’s okay.” Jimin readjusts, moving in front of you and taking your hands in his. He leans towards you as he whispers in your ear. “Don’t cry babygirl.”

Your eyes snap to look at Jimin in alarm. Your prior worries are nothing compared to the terror which takes hold now. “H-how do you know that name?” Your stuttered words barely make their way past your lips.

“I think you know the answer to that question.” He pulls at the collar of his shirt allowing you to spot a large red mark on his neck, right where you had bitten the man you once thought to be Taehyung. “I wanted to wait a bit longer, I wanted more moments like we had last night but it would seem that someone had to go and ruin it.” You pull back but Jimin’s hands shift to take hold of your wrists, mimicking the manacles that embraced you the night before. “Are you not happy babygirl? You got your wish. And I... I got what I’ve always wanted.”

“This is so wrong Jimin! You knew I thought you were someone else! You knew that I wouldn’t have done that last night if I knew the truth.” 

“Even though I was the one you really wanted babygirl?”

“Stop calling me that! Just because of what happened last night does not make me yours. You lied to Namjoon. You said that I sent you. You told him you were Taehyung!”

Jimin gives a wicked laugh in response to your accusations. “Oh, but you are mine. Namjoon is the one who’s been keeping things from you. He’s been in my employ far longer than yours.” He coos as his fingers tighten their grip on you. “I was the reason you were introduced to him, and I was the one who bestowed you with that name shortly after.”

“No, that’s not possible, Namjoon and I, we met at a charity event.”

“Hosted by my father. Where I told him to make himself known to you, to entice you to become one of his pets. I may have acted the sub last night but I am the one who holds Namjoon’s reins, I always have.”

“No he would never do that! He’s considerate and-”

“Had so much to gain by dominating you on my behalf. Money, power, and an assurance of safety, he would’ve been a fool to turn my offer down. Especially since you were so willing to play along with him. I dare say he enjoyed his time with you, but I was the one who permitted him to touch you. I was there to listen, to read, and to direct every conversation. Those gifts he told you to wear to the office, they were all from me.” He lets go of one of your wrists to pull down the neck of your shirt. Revealing the leather band strapped around your neck. “Today it’s the collar, yesterday it was the corset, and a few weeks ago...” Jimin smirks as he recalls the memory to your mind. “You barely made it through that meeting thanks to my gift.”

  It’s impossible to swallow the admissions coming from him, but regardless of what may be true or false, you won’t stand for any of it. “You’ve had your fun, but this ends now.” You reach up attempting to remove the collar but Jimin pushes you to the floor pinning your arms above you as he straddles you. The elevator wavers from the struggle, teetering as you lay captive beneath him. 

“I don’t think you understand the situation you’ve placed yourself in. I hold in my possession your darkest secrets. One’s that will ruin you if they make their way out. Your illegal activity with a sex worker, your inappropriate sexual conduct with your secretary. Not to mention the names and dubious activities of every client you’ve recommended to Namjoon’s services.”  

“Why... why are you doing this?” 

“Because you found me. I worked so hard to exploit my father from the outside, getting everything I wanted without the threat of public exposure. I couldn’t let you ruin it all. When we first met I considered you a threat, but then I saw how easy and enjoyable it was to mould to my will. The more intimate you become with someone the more power you give them over you. Simply being your secretary isn’t enough, not if I want you in a more pliable state.” Jimin hushed whisper mixes with a haunting giggle as his lips come to your ear. “I plan to bend you to fit every one of my needs.”

“You’re psychotic!” You lash out trying to throw him off but he stems your revolt by planting himself further down on to you, sitting on your chest as the elevator sways.

“Psychotic? No, I am simply a man who found his passion amidst his revenge. I know what I desire, and vengeance has taught me how best to take it. So if you want to keep yourself and everything else around you from falling, I suggest you play along like a good girl. Or I promise you, my punishments won’t be as kind as what you’ve experienced before.”

“What is it that you want?” You ask, already fearing his answer. He has you trapped in a gilded cage with him, where one misstep will send you plummeting to meet your end. Nothing that comes accompanied by such threats can be palatable.

“At work? To keep the status quo, I’ll remain your secretary, only so I can keep a better hold on you.” 

“Hoseok won’t agree to that. He already thinks I should ditch you. I should have listened to him.” 

“Then you will make him agree or he might have an accident, much like your accountant did. He too thought we were too close, even threatened to say something. Don’t worry I saved us from him, just as I’ll save us from Hoseok if you can’t convince him to back off. Do you think you can get him to agree now?”

You give a solemn nod, with Hoseok on the line you have no choice.

“After hours, we’ll drop the middleman.” Jimin lowers himself further on to you, laying down on top, his weight flattening you to the floor. With his head coming to rest on your restrained arm as he whispers further plans. “Every night you’ll come to me instead, and every morning you’ll have a new gift to wear. When we step off this elevator you’ll act as if nothing is wrong. You will go about business as usual, is that clear babygirl?”

You stifle a sob staring directly up and away from his eyes, not daring to give him the satisfaction of your fear. With little else to cling to, all you can do is agree for the time being, as much as it pains you, you choke out your compliance. “Yes...” 

“Yes what?” Jimin purrs, his lips faintly touching your ear. “Address me properly, or I will find ways to discipline you right here on this lift.” His fingers tighten and nails bite into your skin.

“Yes sir,” you whine as a plea for him to stop. 

Jimin mercifully lessens his hold on your wrists, hitting you instead with a smirk and befouled praise. “Good girl. I knew you’d finally see that I’m worth the risk.”

...

[millllenniawrites]

wildest dreams (Poe Dameron x Reader)

part four of dear love of mine

words: 800ish

warnings: smut so this is 18+ folks; light humiliation; title kink; fingering; a single spank; fem!masturbation; bruising during sex mentioned; reader has a last name; this chapter is basically one long sex scene; regency au for the aesthetic but it’s historically inaccurate for the *vibes*; afab!reader; slow burn; sexual themes throughout; eventual smut; pining; warnings will be added as the series progresses

a/n: Happy International Fanworks Day (two days late but I procrastinated editing this so that’s what’s happening)! This series is presently my favourite thing I’m working on so I thought I’d give you guys a surprise update! This one’s short, but I wanted to keep it that way due to the nature of the content

Generally the smut in my series’ are necessary for plot but as long as you know that (THERE ARE SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT) reader gets herself off thinking about Poe, you’re good. I know there are a few people on this taglist that don’t wanna read the smut so like it’s okay for you to skip. promise. I personally wanted to write it for the challenge and it is somewhat plot relevant to the next few chapters, but it’s not necessary. So you can skip it if you aren’t here for the smut.

@intergalactic-smut-hutt and I wrote the smut in this chapter for Helix and it got cut from book two, so I adapted it for this! the rest of the content here is mine

__

"Good girl."

Your eyes fluttered shut as he pulled you against him. One hand cradled your head lightly as the other worked its way under your skirts, tracing up the inside of your thigh to your centre. You were soaked through from the second he touched you, trembling for him. You moaned as he played your body like an instrument with every chord memorized.

Poe’s breath, hot on her neck. “Miss Dean,” he scolded, “I’ve barely gotta touch you to get you wet for me."

You gripped his shirt, hips jerking into his palm as he dipped his fingers between your folds. “Poe…” you gasped, head tilted back. “Please?” It was a whine, low and full of need.

Your clothes disappeared. Knees on the bed, completely spread open for him, dripping with his cum. He smiled, urging your thighs apart with his hands.

You gasped, “General. More. Please...”

He leaned down, kissing your ass lightly. His hand replacing his lips with a solid smack, hard enough to bring a little bit of flush to your skin.

*

You shot up straight in bed, clutching your damp sheets to your chest.

Your room was empty, the curtains drawn, exactly as it had been when you’d fallen asleep the night before. You were still fully dressed. And clean, aside from a light sheen of sweat that glued your sheets to you.

The General was nowhere to be found.

As he should be. It would be highly inappropriate for him to be there with you. In the middle of the night. Alone.

Doing unspeakable things to you.

It might be better if you avoided reading from your secret collection of romance novels right before bed.

Something crinkled beneath you. From under your hip, you retrieved the General’s first letter. Once again, you found yourself tracing over the curve of his name.

Poe.

Dinner that night had been uneventful. The General had attempted to snag your attention on two occasions (which you politely but quickly dismissed) before seeming to give up. He had nearly sulked through the rest of the meal. Quite unbecoming behaviour for a supposed General.

It bothered you more than you wanted to admit, how quickly he’d abandoned trying to win your attention. In two short days, you’d gotten very used to the way he’d vie for a simple look from you. You squirmed in your discomfort, laying down and shoving the letter back beneath your pillow.

Visions of him had plagued you since Char had left for the night. You could still feel the way his calloused hand had brushed against yours. Nothing you did could shake it loose. He was so warm… almost as warm as the feeling between your legs.

You began counting your breaths in your head. Hands fisting the sheets, you tossed and turned, trying to get comfortable.

Without truly considering the implications of it, you let your hand snake down your body, pressing into the warmth between your legs.

Immediately, you relaxed down into your sheets, your discomfort momentarily eased by the quick brush of your fingers. But the heat returned, and with it came the wave of need you’d found yourself floating in right before you’d awoken.

You needed to sleep. Your mother had asked to meet with you early and she’d fear for your health if you weren’t well rested.

Hiking up your skirt, you let your fingertips trace over your clit once more.  

It couldn’t hurt. You’d get to sleep. Finally. Maybe his piercing gaze would be blunted if you indulged, just for a moment.

When you closed your eyes, his dark ones bore down into yours. You could almost feel the light brush of his lips over your cheek. Your jaw. Your neck. The way his hands would grip your hips. The bruises his fingers might leave behind.

Curling your fingers the way you imagined he would, you pinched your lips together to keep your moans quiet. In your dreams, he wanted you loud. In your dreams, you’d sneak around and risk getting caught. You’d travel to a town far away, pretend to be a duchess and a prince both hiding from their responsibilities. For a night, it wouldn’t matter than you shouldn’t be together. That you shouldn’t think of him like this. Together, you could escape.

As you clenched around your own fingers, you whimpered into the back of your hand. His name escaped, a soft confession into the night air.

Laying in your damp sheets, you caught your breath. You weren’t sure how you were going to face Poe in the morning.

Sleep stole you from your thoughts of duty, whisking you into another dream about a dark haired General, as if your sin had opened a door you now didn’t know how to close.

[dylanlila]

Hi, I hope you're doing well and congratulations on 300 followers!❤️

Can you please suggest some classics like Dorian Gray or just some really good books to read? It would be much appreciated✨

thank you so much anon!💜

and of course I can, classics are my lifelong passion😊 The Picture of Dorian Gray is one of my absolute favourite books🥺

Okay, so I'm listing some books that got me into classics, don't want to drown you in too many suggestions. Classics are tricky, you won't like all of them and if you start with the "wrong" one, you might find yourself repelled by the genre. My recipe for this is: every book is a book of its own. Just go with the flow and read, read and read.

Here are the books that got me into classics:

1. Little Women - Louisa May Alcott

2. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte (you're gonna love this one if you're a fan of Dorian Gray me thinks)

3. Anything Jane Austen (don't trust people when they say how it's only romance, because it's definitely not the centre of the story. Austen is a fantastic storyteller, you can learn a lot about people and humanity in general from her writing. reading her work widened my perspective in more ways than one despite me being extremely sceptical about the whole thing at first)

4. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte (if you're familiar with the Shadow & Bone series, by either books of the show, you'll certainly make a connection between The Darkling and one of the main characters of this classic, Ben Barnes confirmed it too!)

5. The Great Gatsby - Francis Scott Fitzgerald

6. Anything Edgar Allen Poe, but I reccomend starting with his poems rather that short stories, save those stuff for later

7. Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson, awesome read if you're into Dorian Gray

8. Breakfast At Tiffany's by Truman Capote

9. Le Père Goriot ("Old Goriot" or "Father Goriot") by Honoré de Balzac

10. Don Quixote by Miguel de Cervantes

11. Long Day's Journey Into Night by Eugene O'Neill (a fantastic and tragic play, 20th century literature!)

12. No Longer Human - Dazai Osamu (didn't like the main character that much, but definitely an interesting perspective)

Just to get you started with! I would recommend Tolstoy too, but I feel like that's too many pages for someone who's only getting into classics.

I like books that lean into psychology of the characters because I'm a character over plot person, so expect that kind of thing when you open these books. Although I have crazy interpretations of everything😅.

Some books that aren't classics, but no less important in any way (it's completely okay not to like classics and this is a message to everyone, not just you anon):

1. The Perks of Being a Wallflower - Stephen Chbosky

2. Radio Silence - Alice Oseman

3. Anything Stephen King (I like my horror, find it quite entertaining and funny at times because I'm a pretentious, sarcastic and weird idiot)

4. Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs (first book of the series, absolutely amazing and filled with so many cool photographs. it was intended to be a collection of photographs at first, but the author later decided to create a narrative that matches the pictures, supernatural aspects🌌)

Hope this was helpful!💕

[theniftycat]

I finally understood it. At least for myself.

The only reason why I personally wouldn't be able to recommend something to someone is if I was concerned it would make them feel bad. For example, I always make sure to say that The Man from U.N.C.L.E., my favourite show in the world, has its flaws and is of its time. And I hope that it makes it easier for people who can get offended by the 60s insensitivities, see for themselves if they're okay with it.

I'd never say it's problematic. Because a problem calls for a solution. And if I recommend it to you and say it's problematic, the solution would be to watch it and feel guilty and find all its problems and never enjoy a minute. I'm not into sado-masochism.

Calling something problematic and not giving a solution (like, boycott it MEANINGFULLY, pirate it, tag it so I don't see it) is unhealthy. Let's say, it's problematic. The solution is not to do it.

For example, please, ask me to boycott Nestle and never get Disney+. I'll do that and feel good. Ask me to never buy a Roman Polansky movie, I'll gladly pirate it and laugh about it. Ask me to tag Alfred Hitchcock, I will, maybe I just won't reblog him at all and we'll all be content.

But if you just tell me that, rightfully say, Edgar Allan Poe is problematic, I'll agree with you. But what if I only read him casually at school. Or I read some stories and really loved them feeling like they showed me something about myself. Or if he is my favourite author ever.

Boycotting him is meaningless. His works are in public domain. He'll be taught at schools (which is for the better) whether I like it or not.

If I'm a casual reader, I won't really care or even gloat. If he helped me at some point, I'll feel guilty about enjoying him. If I'm a fan, I might feel defensive. Or I already would have known that and won't care.

What was done there is making some people feel useless guilt and angering some other people. Plus, some people gloated and only they won. You see how there's no positive results there?

If you personally hate Poe and his guts and his casual enjoyers, and you just meant to troll, congrats. People who never read him, will be less likely to do so. And maybe they could benefit from his writing.

What you could say instead is that he was married to his teenage cousin, what a fucking awful thing, please tag your mentions of him, I don't wanna see them. This way people will know what to do. Tag his mentions. Somebody will go and read about him and make their own conclusions. Nobody will be defensive. Somebody will be horrified. Others will learn how was it even legal. Some will analyse his texts and see if it's visible in them. Some with be in denial (but like those who are really far gone). Some will do nothing.

People won't argue with you, you just stated the facts. If they don't tag him, you'll know who to unfollow. While if you just call him problematic, people will unfollow you.

(Here I mentioned useless guilt and I need to elaborate. When people feel guilty and can't do anything about it, it often stays with them. And often that unaimed pain finds its direction in an arbitrary way. It might even lead to bigotry.)

Give people something.

Plus, make it positive. If you call a historical musical problematic, I doubt that many people will get interested in learning that history. More people will do it if they're left to enjoy it in peace. If you want to bring up something bad, just present it as a fact. Don't say that the musical was evil for including or not including it. Because it's not the musical's job. It probably became famous solely by chance. It could be one of dozens musicals every year that nobody heard about.

If you criticise a work of art, it's better to do it by text, but it depends on which school you endorse, of course. And whether you think the author is dead or the auteur is a god or the author and the work are equally great, it's still worth it interacting with art however flawed it is, if only to learn how its flaws exist, why they are there and what made them go overlooked.

Whenever you just say "thing bad", the people who really hear you are always the vulnerable. It's fans with RSD, marginalised fans who feel like they betray their peers etc. Cishet white NT men hardly use tumblr or follow your blog.

Like, if you say that Russia is problematic, I'll feel offended not because I disagree, but because it would feel like it's aimed at me, an Asian queer nb disabled ND person just because I live here. You either call out the government or a specific historical person.

I know I also make these mistakes. I'll try to do better.

Please, remember, give people something to do. Say "Freakazoid has some fatphobic episodes, careful if you want to watch it!", say "tag Henry Cavill, please!" say "Dostoyevsky was antisemitic, if that upsets you, don't read him".

Don't just ruin people's fun, especially if it hurts nobody. And if it hurts you or some other people, ask the rest to accommodate you.

[disaster-bay-leaf]

Ok so these were the cutest~ (ㆁωㆁ)

4, 6, 7, 9, 12, 19, 22, 23, 28, 33, 34, 46, 47, 52, 59, 60, 63, 66, 83, 87, 88, 93, 99

I kno I listed like....all of them lmao but feel free to answer whichever you want and ofc you can ask me in return Baybe ( ◜‿◝ )♡

uHUHUHUHU much content for me to answer, im happy bebe 💜💜💜✨

4 - how do you take your coffee/tea?

hm coffee either Very Black No Sugar (for the sleep deprived me) or iced latte three sugars and theres no in between

and as for tea its All Black Teas That Exist, cinnamon-flavoured especially (but basically all teas that come to mind when u think “autumn”), and rooibos!!! okay basically the only oke i dont like is any type of green tea (which is sad because they look cool but my tastebuds said ✨no✨)

6 - do you keep plants?

honestly id l o v e too because i love plants but,,, im kinda horrible at taking care of them though still way better than the majority of my family (research helps) so the only plant i own is kinda a small-palm-tree-looking thing in a bigass glass jar that i saved from my mother’s plant-destructing hands and its mostly doing well (the ends of its leaves are starting to be yellow tho and im worried:((( )

7 - do you name your plants?

yes!!! though the current one was named by my sister and its called “pickett” after fantastic beasts shsjjsj

9 - do you like singing/humming to yourself?

oh god oh dude you have n o idea

i have absolutely n o singing voice but its something i do constantly to give my brain the right amount of stimuli so basically i listen to music 24/7 and hum to myself 99% of that time

12 - whats your favourite planet?

oh i actually didnt think about this for so long but either pluto (hes a planet screw nasa) or saturn (RINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) or venus (girls,,,and libra,,,)

19 - do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw in it?

okay im gonna be completely honest with yall and say that my every single try at keeping a journal failed spectacularly and i lost motivation after like a few months so my only journals rn are my fancy fake-leather-bound calendar to note tests and assessments into, a kinda roughed up notebook that i uses for noting down poems or scribbling or passing notes in class, and a kinda fancy bullet journal notebook that i used as a book of shadows for a while but since my fountain pen died i didnt touch it

22 - are you a morning person?

n o

i am so not a morning person but i wish i could be because honestly dawns are beautiful

but as it is rn im either sleep deprived all the time and loathe every second of being in an awake state or (if i have a few days of schoolbreak) my biological clock moves forward a few hours and i sleep 2am-10am

23 - whats your favourite thing to do on lazy days with zero obligations?

except for the fact that i dont remember the last time it happened, i would probably spend it drawing outside, watching anime with my sister and riding a bike around the forest

28 - sunrise or sunset?

i love sunrises because its so peaceful and everyone is asleep but also i subconsciously immediately correlate them with waiting for a train to take me to school (because thats basically the only time i see them) so its a bittersweet love especially with my fucked up biological clock

but sunsets are really really pretty too and i see them more often so i cant choose

33 - whats your fave pastry?

and isnt that a millior-dollar question dhsjjsjsj

either cinnamon rolls (i absolutely adore them) or that one specific type of cupcake-shaped-thing made out of shortcrust/bread/whatever its called and filled with vanilla pudding

34 - tell us about a stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

awwww this is cute

okay so basically my two favourite stuffed animals (i still have them, they sit in my wardrobe) were two teddy bears (like maybe 20cm high each of them) and one was pure brown and the other was silver-brown and they had stereotypical polish male names “Waldek” (read. Valdek) and Stefan (i think tho im not sure if i remember correctly, my memory is a feeble thing sometimes

46 - tell us the worst pun you can think of

what dog would never bite you? a hot dog *badumtss*

47 - what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

huh a year ago id say pineapple pizza but i guess i dont hate pineapples that much anymore (tho putting them on pizza is still an abomination) but i think that if id ever want to get rid of anything it would be parsley, i hate that freakin herb (does it count as food tho)

52 - what are your favourite memes of the year so far?

the ever given for sure shsjshjsjsjsjjsj

but bullying tramp stamps is gold and pure tumblr energy too

as for fandom memes: im in love with all keeping-up-with-the-todorokis variations and the fact that the entire bsd fandom looked at fukuchi and said “biTCH” and thats one of the only things we’re unanimous about

59 - whats your favourite myth?

i always liked the kora/persephone myth (though demeter is an overbearing parent to the nth power), loki and thor crossdressing at a party to get mjolnir back, atalanta because shes a queen and id politely ask her to kick my ass, and cassandra because she deserved better, and theres a l o t more because alas i was a mythology nerd but this post is long enough for me not to make this section 20 times longer sjjsjsjsjsjks

but there are a lot of slavic myths that are very cool too, though we dont know that much about them as about the greeks for example

60 - do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

o o o o h yeah i do like poetry because to create such a beautifully sounding thing with only words someone has to be a genius

some of my favs are: some works of nakahara chuuya (thank u bsd for introducing me to this man’s beautiful imagery in his works i swear to god the descriptions do it for me) (also his poem about having hangovers is a mood like i feel you buddy), the raven by ea poe (i know everyone likes it but hOLY DAMN THE INTER/INTRAVERSE RHYMES ARE LIKE,,, BREATHTAKING) (and aso im a slut for gothic horror), and many more but also That One Poem From Welcome To Nightvale about reaching the island in the west,,, only perfect vibes from it

63 - are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organised or kinda leave them be?

okay heres the thing. for anyone else both my playlist library and my bookshelf would be considered pure chaos of a mad man b u t they actually have a highly focused system which means that i sort them based on their vibes, lovability and (in case of books) their age and whether or not theyre a part of a series so i would say my bookshelf is rather organised (when a quarter of it isnt occupying my desk that is) and my music is more organised than not but sometimes it gets out of control and i have to sort it entirely again

66 - what would your ideal flower crown look like?

either entirely constructed of simple white daisies, entirely constructed of only white roses, or something that probably would win a “how many different coloured flowers can one fit in a flower crown” competition

or something purple (maybe not belladonna)

83 - whats some of your favourite album art?

god i dont know if it counts but hozier’s wasteland baby is probably one of my absolute favourites and no one shall beat that

“thrifted youth” (dalynn) and “standard deviation” (danny schmidt) have very aesthetic covers too

also the iconic p!atd too weird to live, too rare to die! album cover,,, its just iconic what can i say

and last but not least matt meason’s pink-and-black album covers (though bank on the funeral is really pretty too but like,,, “who killed matt meason” d o e s it for me and so does the 2017 tribulation single)

87 - what are some movies that you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

this is such a hard question because im not a really cinematography-oriented gal but i suppose that (at the risk of not going deep enough into the cinema world):

- the princess bride

- inception

- night at the museum

- SPIRITED AWAY

- forrest gump

- truman show

- E.T. (i cried okay)

- the lord of the rings (because damn me if this isnt one impressive adaptation)

- parasite

and one more personal recommendation: “ready or not” with samara weaving because goddamn i dont usually watch this genre but holy s h i t is it good

93 - whats the hairstyle you wear the most?

honestly just plain hair down (because having curly hair is a menace), split in the middle when i have longer hair and split on one side when its short

also low ponytails or half-up-half-down when im exercising, or double french braids when my hair doesnt cooperate enough to look presentable in any other form

99 - list some songs that resonate with your soul whenever you hear them

this is difficult because my music taste is a goddamn rollercoaster on a good day, but heres some:

- me and the sky from “come from away” musical (this is sort of a test song for my mental stability, if i cry i aint stable)

- dancing after death by matt meason (okay most songs by matt meason except for like,,, hallucinogenics maybe)

- tears and rain by james blunt

- i will follow you into the dark by death cab for cutie

- almost home by mxmtoon

- anything by hozier really but shrike especially

- payphone, the cover by alex g (i cried to this song so many times)

- burning pile by mother mother (can i roast all my problems please)

- long way from home and cleopatra by the lumineers

- autoclave by the mountain goats

oooh that was c o o o o o o o l as fuck thank you sm so much bebe (and sorry for the long post @everyone else)

[jawllines]

hi lovie!!! im an amateur writer right now and with you being literally my favourite creator, i kinda wanted to ask some questions if that’s okay? 🥺 you totally don’t have to answer these, but i just wanted to know:

- when did you start writing?

- how long did it take to get the following you have now?

- how long does it usually take to create a fic?

- how do you stay motivated with writing?

- what app do you use to write?

- how do you create your ideas?

- when did your write your first smut?

- do you have any advice for a small writer like me?

thank you so much for being my favourite writer!! i love all of your work and they always make me feel so warm and happy!!! xoxo -🐝

HI CUTIE!! I SURE CAN ANSWER QUESTIONS I DONT MIND!!

1. I TECHNICALLY STARTED WRITING IN 2012 BUT WE DONT TALK ABOUT THAT CUZ IT WAS HORRID 🥰 BUT I STARTED POSTING FICS ON TUMBLR I THINK IN 2014

2. IT TOOK A WHILE!! IM NOT SURE WHAT ITS LIKE GAINING ON HERE NOW BECAUSE I STARTED MY BLOG IN THE ERA OF PROMO GROUPS AMD BLOG RATES SO I HAD AN EASIER TIME GAINING FOLLOWERS BUT I DIDNT START POSTING WRITING UNTIL I HAD A DECENT FOLLOWING WHICH HELPED A BIT

3. IT REALLY DEPENDS!! SOMETIMES ONLY A FEW WEEKS SOMETIMES IT CAN TAKE A MONTH, IT DEPENDS ON MY WORKLOAD AT SCHOOL AND HOW INTO THE FIC IM WRITING I AM!! BUT THATS BECAUSE IM TRYING TO PUSH OUT 19-20K WORDS FOR EACH PART

4. HARRY JUST BE MOTIVATING A HOE SOMETIMES BUT SOMETIMES LIKE MUSIC CAN REALLY HELP ESPECIALLY IF IT FITS THE STORY OR ITS JUST GOOD WRITING (T SWIZZLE HAS SOME GOOD WRITING TO TRACKS!!) SOMETIMES I READ OTHER FIC TO KINDA GIVE ME A BOOST TOO!!

5. WAY BACK WHEN I USED TO USE THIS APP CALLED POE BECAUSE THERE WAS A CUTE LIL BIRDIE BUT NOW I JUST USE GOOGLE DOCS AND MAKE IT A DARK SCREEN

6. SOMETIMES THEY’RE REQUESTED!! SOMETIMES I JUST THINK ABOUT AN IDEA OF A FIC THAT I WOULD LIKE TO READ AND WRITE THAT

7. I WROTE SMUT I THINK RIGHT OFF THE BAT IN ONE OF MY FIRST FICS BUT I WAS STILL (AND AM STILL) A VIRGIN SO EVERYTHING IM WRITING IS BASED OFF OF OTHER FICS, PORN, AND HOPING FOR THE BEST

8. WRITE WHAT YOU WANT AND DONT PUSH YOURSELF!! If you DONT LIKE WHERE A FIC IS GOING YOU CAN SCRAP IT AND START ALL OVER (I DO IT OFTEN) JOT DOWN NOTES OF WHERE YOU WANT THE FIC TO GO WHILE YOU’RE WRITING IT AND TAG TAG TAG ALL YOUR THINGS SO PEOPLE CAN FIND YOU!! also IF YOU EVER WANT ANYTHING REBLOGGED I WILL!!

BEST OF LUCK TO YA CUTIE PATOOTIE 😘

[yoditorian]

okokok babe u know i have so many thoughts (and i wish to god my memory was good enough to pull my favourite quotes rn but even then every word is gold i’d simply end up sending u back the whole of lacuna)

and i know i’m always saying the same stuff to u but

favourite parts are so hard to narrow down i lose my mind over all of it okokok:

the entire conflict you created with the creed, how real you made it feel in line with what we know as canon, how invested and emotional you’ve made me over rebel’s relationship with it too,,, it’s genuinely something that’s so hard to pin down and you’ve done it flawlessly

the parallels you’ve created and importance you’ve stressed on cork, on the crest, on the blanket. things that have stayed with us and got us thinking every time one of these things has come up because you’ve woven it into the story so intricately that we know we’re in for an emotional time when they’re mentioned??? impeccable

the general presence of shara and kes, two characters we only really know exist and know so little about if we’re not up to speed on all the extended material, is really something that just fills my heart. not only does it weave rebel into canon just a little more (and absolutely realistically) but giving them the family they deserve and making them so real and pulling them off flawlessly to get us attached even if we don’t really know them before name

i could go on forever bUT

i’m simpLY so proud of you and what you’ve achieved through this series. you were so nervous to post it but you did it anyway and in doing so you’ve blessed us with this beautiful piece of work i think about every day of my life and really can’t get enough of. i am in awe of u and your talent and i can’t wait to read everything you ever gift us because your grasp on characters, the stories you can tell, how vivid and raw you’re able to make them? incredible, outstanding, unparalleled

(there’s an irony somewhere between the definition of lacuna and the spot it (and u) now take up in my heart)

lets celebrate lacuna!!

i’m still crying i’m gonna be real with u🥺🥺🥺

i had to put a cut in because this just got Too Long okay okay lets get into it

i cannot tell u how many times i rewatched the covert scenes like,,,,i really feel like everything (especially what goes down in the forge) is deeply steeped in tradition. it really is religious, more so than i’d argue something like the jedi are, and i didn’t want to make it seem like that didn’t matter (although season 2 kind of said fuck the creed so that’s neither here nor there). and rebel’s relationship with it is Very Tenuous because like,,, okay yeah they want to see his face and be able to be with him but they’d never ever tELL him that because it’s so ingrained in who he is. like they love it because they love him and they’d never dare to assume there’s anything more important to din than the creed. they’re wrong tho. 

i really wanted to include a character like cork because din needed to have that very sudden realisation that actually, what he’s done is a huge deal privately or not. cork never thought anyone would find out what he’d done until it got out of hand and that sparks a very real fear in din. cork’s story as a whole was also really important to make din come to the realisation that rebel IS more important to him than the creed, and in a way i think he thinks of himself as weaker than cork for not being able to uphold that. 

its no secret how much i love the crest okay like,,,,, i cried real tears when she died (yes, died. she was a character). and i absolutely adore how the outer shell is sort of patchwork and mismatched, and it just has sUCH ‘lovingly restored’ vibes. its also kind of din’s primary home and again i wanted it to link back to rebel in a way that maybe he hadn’t thought of until they were apart. i genuinely can’t watch The Scene but every time i rewatch the first season and see the ship stripped by the jawas it makes it so much more obvious that this is where he lives. that’s the one place in the whole galaxy he can be just himself, in much the same way that rebel becomes that safe space.

the blanket in all honesty started out as an extremely self indulgent motif bc i still have my baby blanket that my nan crocheted for me. but it kind of became the way for rebel to have a piece of din with them even when he wasn’t around. and then it’s the bridge between rebel and grogu, and him falling asleep wrapped in it kind of physically demonstrates the type of comfort that din feels around rebel. much like chapter four on sorgan it kind of gives him a window into a life he so desperately wants but just can’t have.

shara and kes are literally the loves of my life okay i could write a whole thing about them (like genuinely i was gonna go into their relationship at one point but i simply didn’t have the space). like you say there’s not a lot of material on them and i haven’t massively dived into it outside of who they are and what they did, but there’s so much potential there. i really wanted to explore the mechanics of the rebellion in a way that’s believable and sometimes i feel like too many OCs can take you out of the universe a little bit in that respect. another thing that drew me to these two specifically was the way that poe immediately takes finn under his wing in TFA like,,, he had to have learnt that somewhere and i liked the parallel of both poe and his mum seeing this new person who others in their organisations might be wary of and decide that actually that’s their new best friend. it cements that idea of rebel starting to find somewhere they belong and establishing a life for themselves instead of just existing for din and his conflict with his creed.

i could write a whole other essay about how much of a rock YOU have been through this whole journey like,,, the literal reason this was ever posted is because you encouraged me and inspired me and you will never ever know how grateful i am for that bc i literally cannot put it into enough words. over the course of writing this fic not ONLY has rebel found a friend and themselves but so did i and that’s down to you 💛

[ganbarimaster]

I was tagged for a catch up by @orime-stories.

How dare you! (Thanks.)

Three Ships:

I don’t spend a lot of time thinking about ships, but here are three that I’ve been enjoying/thinking about lately.

I'm a big fan of what I’ve come to learn is referred to as Shadowgast (such a good name), the ship of Essek Thelyss and Caleb Widogast from Critical Role Campaign 2. I love dark brooding wizard boys and I love all interactions between Liam and Matt. I want them to find happiness together.

I have all the time in the world for Finn and Poe of Star Wars fame.

Since I started watching the Legend of Korra a while back I’ve taken an interest in the Korra/Asami ship I’ve seen sailing by now and then. Wouldn’t mind seeing more of that!

Last songs listened to:

I find myself listening to a lot of chiptune type stuff lately, like Amanaguchi and the original Streets of Rage soundtrack. I’ve been enjoying new tracks from the latest World of Warcraft expansion Shadowlands, but haven’t sat down and actually listened to the soundtrack yet. My recent delving into the Dead by Daylight game has rekindled my love for Silent Hill and has me sometimes listening to my favourite songs from those soundtracks too.

Currently watching:

Cobra Kai and Star Trek Discovery. The former of the two just had a new season released on Netflix and delivers some quite satisfying 80s nostalgia. The latter of the two has been serving up some very nice Star Trek episodes in its most recent season, with characterful moments and thoughtful stories. 

Currently reading:

I’m sometimes reading an Avatar: The Last Airbender comic omnibus collecting tales from the “The Lost Adventures” and “Team Avatar Tales” nickelodeon comics. I’m also slowly reading my way through “The Bounty Hunter Code”, fleshing out the details of the bounty hunter organisation/lifestyle of the Star Wars universe, which might help motivate future Bounty Hunter class playthroughs of the Star Wars Old Republic MMO!

How’s it going:

I’m doing okay, I suppose. Trying to make the most of this rest period before heading back to work in a couple of days. I have very deep cravings to travel and see more of this country before I have to head back to the UK in the summer, but haven’t been able to scratch them since early last year for obvious reasons. But I have some small hope that I might be able to do a little bit of travel once the vaccine has made the rounds. Been missing my Tokyo trips! Haven’t been to a live pro-wrestling show in so long. 

I tag @dongzhouculture, @zombiedisco5150, @giganerd, and @ndt83 if they feel like doing whatever this was (you’re under no obligation to actually do so). But I hope my Tumblr mutuals are doing well, and I look forward to liking and reblogging your content for another year.

[jlf23tumble]

Hey Jen! I love seeing everyone doing monthly fic recs but yours are my favourite! I know I'm sending this three days early but I can't wait!! x

Yes, I love that!! I’m a bit of a date stickler, so I sat on this one until the very last day, but here’s a mixed bag of things that I read this month and loved...hope they work for you, too!

500 Words of Harry Styles, by haemophilus/ @they-them-pigeon, One Direction, Harry Styles/various pairings, 1.5k. These 3 works are 500 words each, and, like...how??? What kinda sorcery! They’re all perfect mini worlds, w/ gorgeous explorations of Harry and gender and pairings you wouldn’t expect yet totally work.

Heartstrings, by @vondrostes, One Direction, Harry Styles/Sarah Jones, 2.6k. This one totally gave me the Mulder/Scully vibes of some my very fave fics in that pairing, idk why, but brb, gotta jump into some old fic servers.

Here to Take My Medicine, by Throwthemflowers/ @hazzabeeforlou, One Direction, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, 3.7k. U know what? I totally buy the concept of Harry reading goop and Louis going along with it (bonus points for unexpected yet totally welcome daddy kink).

go as slow as you want, by whensheflies/ @choface, One Direction, Harry Styles/Nick Grimshaw, 5k. Most gryles fic, especially lately, is steeped in angst, but not this one! A touch of it, sure, but sweet, sexi, AND tender gender? Sign my ass up for more!

Sweet Baby, by jishler, One Direction, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, 5.4k. It’s harder and harder to find these days, but I’m always down for some good old-fashioned kink discovery, X Factor house era, and this was sweet and hot, perfect combo.

let me be yours, by @louhearted, One Direction, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, 6.6k. Canon Girl Direction is always a win, but this one features pube talk, too? Huge bonus points for daddy kink, not enough of that, if you ask me (and you didn’t, but there you go).

More of a Comment Than a Question, by abrighteryellow/ @a-brighter-yellow, One Direction, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, 8.7k. I know this wasn’t what the author intended, but I am missing all the fan convention stuff that isn’t going to happen this year, and this story perfectly captured it, so thank you AGAIN!

in its lonely and ramshackle head, by objectlesson/ @alienfuckeronmain, The Hobbit, Bilbo Baggins/Thorin Oakenshield, 9.8k. The only thing I know of this movie is the hilarious write-up Phoenix and Blake crafted, but it doesn’t matter, this fic is so beautiful! A five times with so much pining and yearning, beautiful!

bathed in blue light, by delgay, Star Wars Sequel, Poe Dameron/Finn, 17k. The lengths I go through to avoid all things Reylo means the pickings can be slim in this fandom, but this felt like a callback to the heady days of early 2016, sigh.

Harriet and Louise, by blake/ @newleafover, One Direction, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, 28k. Words fail me, I was lucky enough to see this before it went up, to yell in the google doc, the long-awaited regency Girl Direction fic does NOT disappoint, so gorgeous!!! Massive hugs to the hero who commissioned it!

The Stars Look Very Different Today, by @kingsofeverything, One Direction, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, 43k. Easily my fave so far in the big bang pack, but here’s some real talk, I love it when Lauren writes space fic.

I’m gonna jump on my soapbox here for a quick sec and tell you that you don’t have to reblog this fic rec list if you don’t wanna, liking it for further reference is okay by me if you aren’t comfortable, but PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD leave kudos and comments on fics for authors. Read a wip and cheerlead the author along and revel in the heart-stopping thrill of receiving an ao3 email. I’m blessed *regularly* by all the ones I’m subscribed to, but these two were my absolute faves this month:

Say Something, by @kingsofeverything, One Direction, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, 6 chapters//27 chapters in. Look, I’m gonna level with you, I had some high expectations for this one (50YO omega Harry hooking up with 28YO alpha Louis, eventual mpreg, lactation, and everything else in those tags), and in just six chapters, I wanna yell with how much I love it, talk about dreams surpassed!

Leave a Voicemail after the Song, by @vondrostes, One Direction, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, 13 chapters// ??? chapters. Okay, this is on Patreon for now, it might jump to ao3 down the road, but for the low price of $1/month, you too can get a weekly update to in the heart-breakingly BEAUTIFUL companion to Terran’s epic Call Answered (which *is* on ao3), this time from Harry’s POV. It hurts so good, especially at this point in the story, god.

[autumn-foxfire]

So I finally finished watching Bungou Stray Dogs and it was pretty good! The story itself is okay (well except for the Oda flashback at the beginning of season 2 - that was god-tier and in all left me with all sorts of emotions and thoughts about life and death and Dazai) - I find the powers / all the literary references interesting, but the lack of consequences for the multiple murders of the Port Mafia (esp. in situations involving innocents) kind of irks me. (1/4)

Also, I find the pacing a bit weird at times - but that may just be a personal thing. Anyways, where I think the story really shines is in its characters. The character designs are great, but then add the special abilities, personal conflicts, and relationships to one another into the mix and, well. I honestly think it’s hard not to come out of watching BSD absolutely loving a character or two. For me, I came out of it absolutely loving Kunikida. (2/4)

His conflicts between his ideals vs reality and duty vs feelings are really interesting (+ he’s best agency mom). And then his ability Doppo Poet? I want it. Also he’s voiced by Patrick Seitz (Endeavor’s va) and instantly recognizing his voice in the first episode made me kind of proud. And then - of course - Dazai. Honestly, I think it’s a given that any fan of Hawks is going to love Dazai + again, the four best episodes in the series focus on him so??? (3/4)

I wish his suicidal thoughts / tendencies were taken more seriously though. Overall, I really liked the series and I’m glad I gave it another chance (especially since it introduced me to the A+ ship that is Soukoku). I still think that the hinted romantic relationship of the Tanizaki siblings is kind of creepy though… (a big reason I stopped watching in the first place, as I eventually remembered). Anyways, thanks to you + thegaygyrus for inspiring me to watch it again! (4/4)

+ just read through other asks and YES it annoys me how shafted Chuuya was. Especially since he's so closely linked to Dazai - I was so excited when I finally got to see this mysterious short redhead I've seen from your blog + everywhere else only to see that he doesn't get as much focus as, well, all the other heavily marketed characters. And then we finally got his backstory at the beginning of S3 only for him to be put away in the final battle... smh. Anyways #ChuuyaDeservesBetter2020

I’m really happy to hear that me and Lucy geeking out over it convinced you to watched it and you enjoyed what you saw so far :3

I agree that the pacing suffers from time to time (it especially felt rushed at times and I’m not sure if that’s due to the fact that didn’t have many episodes to work with or if it’s just how the light novels/manga is). And I do understand being irked by the lack of consequences because I feel it at times too (...like did they forget that the Tanizaki siblings would have died without Yosano’s ability due to Akutagawa T-T or how Akutagawa blew up a police station and probably killed a lot of innocent people). Like I can understand later on that the reason why is probably due to the fact the tripartite exists but then why present Akutagawa as a fugitive if the Port Mafia’s crimes are usually ignored? So yeah, there are issues with the writing at times, I agree (especially what happened to Chuuya).

I can understand why you love Kunikida so much T-T The conflicts he faces in the story are so appealing and he’s really the one you see put through the ringer the most (...people he keeps trying to protect die in front of him and damn is it tragic to see. The man is going to develope a complex at some point). Also Doppo Poet is just such a useful ability (It reminds me of Momo’s quirk who has my favourite quirk in BNHA. Now we need a crossover with these two bonding :p).

And I feel you about Dazai’s suicidal tendencies. I know it’s played for gags most of the time but we saw when he was in the Mafia he truly didn’t care if he died and put himself into dangerous situations under the possibility that he would :/ Dazai needs a therapist desperately (and for someone to get rid of Mori forever).

(I also feel for you about the Tanizaki siblings. The incest is just... unneeded. But I’ve also become numb to it sadly because it appears all my favourite anime have incest in them *glares at Durarara!!*)

AND YES! JOIN US! Justice for Chuuya!!

I’m so mad! I wanted to see Ranpo and Chuuya fight in the book! I wanted to see Poe have to run with the Port Mafia on his tail while trying to protect it! I wanted Chuuya to be more involved for gods sake T-T Time and time again he’s implied to be the ace in the hole and he’s just not used.

(Have you watched the movie yet? Some of the best Soukoku scenes come from it and it’s incredible. Dazai actually references himself as Snow White and Chuuya to be his Prince Charming... He’s not very subtle XD)

[sacrillegea]

get  to  know  the  mun!     repost,  don’t  reblog.

(PEN)NAME  :  skunk

PRONOUNS  :  they /them n sometimes she/her

ZODIAC  SIGN  :  cancer 

TAKEN  OR  SINGLE  :  single

———  THREE  FACTS  ! ♡

i have 2 cats! poe & blossom

i faint a lot. like minimum once a month. usually cause of blood but sometimes its just random like the last time i fainted was when my friend was mid-way thru shaving my undercut

I have the top half of a mannequin in my room that I took from work. his name is manny and yes I do dress him up

———  EXPERIENCE  !  ♡

I started rping here when I was like 16?? I had just discovered ahs and was super obsessed so I started following my friend ivana’s tate langdon acct and eventually decided to start rping as a ahs affiliated oc but with time I developed lenore into her own 

———  MUSE  PREFERENCE  !  ♡

I’ve written a ton of canon characters before ( peter from hemlock grove being my ultimate fave ) but I feel rlly pressured whenever I write canon characters. I have so many that I’ve made a blog for and had ready to go but last minute just chickened out. Also I just find ocs to be more fun & I have more freedom with them

———  FLUFF  /  ANGST  /  SMUT  !  ♡    

FLUFF  :  okay so I like fluff I really do but it depends on the character. like for lenore its not my fave just cause her personality/character doesn’t really allow for a lot of fluff but w/ my other ocs it’s very welcomed

ANGST  :  THIS IS MY FAVOURITE OMG. I L O V E angsty shit. maybe I’m a bit of a masochist but my favourite threads are always gonna be the ones where I read it hurts. like I want to be in pain, I want to crying as I type out my replies.  That’s just *chef kiss* so sexy 

SMUT  :  so I like never do smut but it’s not cause I’m against it I’m actually p okay with writing it. I’m just anxious cause I never write it and I get rlly self conscious abt other ppl reading it?? also sometimes I get bored half way thru so its hard to stay motivated enough to write it.

PLOT  /  MEMES  :  memes. I am truly sorry to anyone that’s ever wanted to plot with me but I just don’t know. I def prefer memes cause its an easy way to establish relationships or a vibe?? in a more “natural” way?? idk but yah memes > plots

Tagged by: @dogxfiend

Tagging: @cortezruled @rottm @nitebit

[misscrawfords]

The Rise of Skywalker: Part One

I have lots of thoughts and feelings about TROS. Most of them negative. For three days I’ve been alternating between raging and crying. Finally, I’ve felt able to start writing.

This is a negative review. If you loved the film then this might not be the post for you. I am very sensitive to what happened after TLJ. And I want to reassure anyone reading that I would never turn criticism for a film (which is absolutely a valid response to seeing something that you disliked and are trying to understand) into personal attacks against the actors or creators involved or, worse still, fans who liked it. If you liked TROS, can’t bear to hear any criticism of it, and still choose to read my posts about it, then that is on you. (I really shouldn’t have to say this but this is a hellsite.)

This post contains spoilers for TROS... and Jumanji 2. Go figure.

Things I liked:

·       C-3PO and everything he did. This droid is the character I identify with most in the entire SW series (which probably says some uncomfortable things about me but this is not the time!) and he had such a big and important role and his quips were genuinely great and funny and I loved everything he did. Apart from – but more on that later.

·       Ben Solo. Uh, other people have talked about his little shrug and his “ow” and his smile – oh god, his smile. Ben Solo is amazing. It’s a shame that – but more on that later.

·       I didn’t hate Rey Palpatine. I mean, I literally wrote this story when I was 13 when I made Hermione Voldemort’s daughter as a way of explaining her inner darkness and had her team up with Harry (with whom she had a telepathic bond) to destroy him. (You can read the story here if you really want to.) So it would be pretty hypocritical of me to hate this plotline. I enjoyed seeing angry, feral Rey on screen, I enjoyed seeing a female hero confronting her capacity for destruction and darkness. I was okay with the idea of a final face-off between a Palpatine and a Skywalker and how this is a way of bringing final balance to the Force. This was pretty interesting and I’d be up for this. I much prefer Rey Nobody but as a concept I’m not actually against it. Unfortunately the execution – but more on that later.

·       I really enjoyed more of Finn and Poe. I love both of them as characters. I mean I can’t think of a single bit of dialogue that was meaningful between them or what they accomplished in particular for they had some fun moments.

·       Finn and Jannah’s conversation about being ex-stormtroopers was a lovely scene, a moment of much-needed quiet and reflection and bonding in a film that was far too hectic and crowded. Shame it went nowhere.

·       Reylo kiss? I mean, that was cool.

·       Unironically, I loved Hux. He was snarky and his revelation of being the spy because he just hated Kylo that much got the biggest reaction in the cinema of the entire showing. Admittedly it was derisive laughter as we all realised what a clusterfuck of bad writing this film was, but still. It crossed over into so-bad-it’s-good territory. Hux gave me considerable pleasure in a film that otherwise made me very angry.

·       My favourite scene in the film was when Rey and Kylo fought on Pasaana over the transport ship with Chewie (apparently) on and Rey blows it up. The cinematography was amazing, it was a visual representation of both balance and building on the lightsaber breaking scene in TLJ while upping the stakes considerably and Rey’s reaction of visceral horror when she realised what she had done was truly shocking and unexpected. To have Chewie killed off so suddenly like this for no reason except that he was in the wrong place at the wrong time and the stakes are high and this is a desperate war with casualties – genius. A perfect way to make Rey and Ben even more similar – both having killed father figures – and have Rey confront her dark side as she wrestles with what she has done and the consequences of having a non-unified relationship with Ben while also being in a position to truly empathise with him – this was exactly the content I had signed up for. But it was the moment that it was revealed that Chewie was still alive that I realised what I’d only suspected before then: that this film was terrible and I would not be able to trust any emotion it was inviting me to feel.

Fundamentally, I think that this film is incredibly poorly written and emotionally dishonest. It is telling that I saw Jumanji 2 earlier in the day and out of the two films, the only point at which I cried was when Milo decided to stay in Jumanji as a horse. Why did I cry? Because Milo and Grandpa’s relationship had been gradually built up over the course of a film that was not afraid of quiet moments and building a narrative of a relationship that revealed what it needed over the course of several meaningful scenes. It allowed Milo’s decision to stay to be both a tragic loss but also a happy ending for him. Truly bittersweet and in a way that everyone can relate to. The loss of a dear friend to illness is a horrible but human thing to contemplate. To be able to set this friend free through a metaphor of a beautiful death and afterlife is genuinely moving and hopeful. Unfortunately TROS did not manage to give me any such emotions or elicit a single tear.

At least not till afterwards. I’ve subsequently cried a lot, some of it over the tragedy of Ben and Rey in a film that promised hope, but mainly for myself and the other (mainly) young female fans who have poured all their knowledge and intelligence into analysis of TFA and TLJ and who seemed to understand the story that was being told and who had been promised more of this story in the interviews and trailers released prior to this film – and who are now feeling like absolute garbage as this film throws out its own mythology for an incoherent, self-serving mess that in many ways defies analysis. The only thing I feel really capable of analysing is how much it doesn’t work, as opposed to what the film is trying to do. Where is the symbolism? Where is the metaphor? Where is the hero’s journey? Where is the heroine’s journey? Where is nuance? Where is everything that was set up in both TFA and TLJ? IDK, I can’t see it. It’s a kick in the teeth.

So, no matter how many individual things I was able to enjoy at the time when watching TROS, they end up being meaningless because the entire film was so bad. I can’t feel pleasure thinking about the good bits because they were mired in context (or lack of it). I can’t feel genuine sorrow about the fate of Rey and Ben because the execution of that fate was so poorly done. I don’t even mind that Ben died. It was always an option and the story of redemption followed by death is a very common story, a very Christian story. Though the death of Christ to save us from our sins, is crucially followed by resurrection. I mean, literally everyone can and does die. That doesn’t make you special. If you’re going for a Christ metaphor, you kind of need resurrection too. But I’m not sure that was exactly what they were going for with it; it was a mess and the execution made little internal consistency.

It may be that if I watched the film again, my problems would be lessened and I would see new things in them and they would make sense. I’ve read some twitter threads of people who are making connections and finding explanations on a second or third viewing. But the problem is that I shouldn’t need to see a film more than once to fundamentally understand it. I don’t mean picking up on new and interesting features and subtext which a good film, like a good book, rewards you with on multiple viewings. TLJ does that. But you should be able to follow what the ultimate meaning of a film is when you see it first.

If that is the case, then the ultimate meaning of TROS is that the good are good, the bad are bad, change is rewarded with death, a character who was once alone ends up alone again, plot coherency is sacrificed for whatever explosion or cool backwards-reference is needed at the time, death is not the end except when it is, there is no cosistency and consequently no emotional impact. And apparently it is a happy and hopeful ending? The tonal disconnect with the story being told and the way it was shot and the music being played and the clear intention of the people making the film is utterly jarring.

To famously quote Macbeth:

It is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing.

This post is already too long so I will go into my criticisms in more detail in a further post. Stay tuned!

Read Part Two here.

[millllenniawrites]

Which of your fics.....

[okay no one tagged me in this but I saw it and wanted to do it so here it is. I tried to do this with no repeats but you know how that goes]

Did you think would get a bigger reaction/audience than it got: honestly, I'm thrilled when anyone reacts to my stuff so I don’t know? 

Got a better reaction than you expected: Night of the Lanterns. It was ages ago but it definitely surprised me. It was one of my first ones that I got asks about which was cool. Also the Good Old Days because that thing still gets a couple notes every so often and i’m not sure how you people find it? y’all must really like Raphael 

Is your funniest: the only fic I have that I think is genuinely funny is Weird? it’s just so awkward and I know I laughed while writing it

Is your darkest/angstiest: probably stars. it’s generally the one that makes people yell at me. which is the best thing 

Is your absolute favourite: Just Friends only because it’s so different and I think it’s cool 

Is your least favourite: basically any of my Harry Potter ones. I haven’t read the books in so long that I feel like I didn’t really get their voices right. also I wrote them in early 2017 I think? so I've gotten a lot better since then

Was the easiest to write: Rey’s voice comes really easy to me so any of the Rey x Reader ones 

Was the hardest to write: WILD EYES PART TWO IS KILLING ME RIGHT NOW SO IM SAYING THAT ONE EVEN THOUGH ITS NOT POSTED YET 

Has your favourite line/exchange/paragraph (share it): I have a few of favourites but let’s go with this dialogue bit from Once because that was another very different style that I thought was pretty cool 

“I don’t speak Spanish, Peña.”

“Good.”

Have you re-read the most: Helix. For sure. It’s my bedtime story (also there’s so much content that if I don’t reread consistently, I will forget and fuck up continuity) 

Would you recommend to someone reading your work for the first time: Probably General. That Poe is the closest to the Poe that I consistently write and I've got a lot of WIPs for him right now. Also I'm pretty proud of it. 

Are you most proud of: Counting Crows -- because it’s exactly what I imagined it would be and that rarely happens -- or Helix. I know I said no doubles but Helix is the best thing I've ever written and I love my co-writer and I cry about it every day because hOW DID I COMMIT TO FIVE BOOKS and also Kade Sol is a sexy man 

tagging: @vampirewithbedsidemanners @woakiees @writefightandflightclub @damndamer0n @darksideofclarke @damerondjarin @dameronsgalaxygal and anyone else that wants to do this. just say I tagged you. this is fun and I wanna see y’all brag about your writing because if you’re willing to post your fics on this hellsite, you deserve to talk about them