#okay everything I make is pretty self indulgent but this is by far the most For Me compilation I've made

[jackexmachina]

Sam Winchester + Eyes

image description: shot compilation featuring scenes from “Scarecrow,” “Houses of the Holy,” “Sex and Violence,” “Swan Song,” “Unforgiven,” “Repo Man,” “Do You Believe in Miracles?,” “Baby,” “Nihilism,” and “The Trap.”

[antimatterz]

love and thunder

dan heng, gepard, blade x gn!reader

summary: the very first thunderstorm you ever experience upon arriving on a new planet terrifies you, but your lover is with you to get you through it.

cw: mentions of panic/anxiety, ooc blade probably

enyo's note: featuring my faves since this is self-indulgent.

content under the cut | masterlist

dan heng

as someone who has been on various planets already, the concept of thunder isn't entirely new to him. he's experienced thunderstorms before and isn't too fazed as thick clouds pack together in the sky threateningly.

for you, however, it was a first, and you look up at the sky warily.

as the first lightning cracks through the deck of clouds, you flinch harshly, and as thunder roars, you cling to dan heng in fright.

your sudden action startles the male, but he quickly catches on and instinctively wraps an arm around you securely.

"it's best if we go inside somewhere," he suggests, ans you follow him closely, flinching every time lightning cracks or thunder rumbles.

he leads you to a nearby inn, safely bringing you inside.

"we're safe here, y/n, it won't harm us."

you have a hard time believing him, though, and despite dan heng's attempts to soothe you, you remain frightened, clinging to the male for dear life.

he isn't too much into pda but since he hates seeing you so anxious, he makes an exception, wrapping both arms around you and holding you against his chest.

"shhh," he hushes as you tremble in his arms. "you're safe, y/n."

together you sit out the thunderstorm, and despite your fear, you feel relatively safe in dan heng's arms.

gepard landau

i don't know if thunderstorms are a thing on jarilo-vi, but let's pretend for the sake of this.

while gepard is used to them, you aren't, and you don't recognize the way the sky darkens, nor do you really understand why gepard suddenly urges to go inside.

but then the entire room lights up sharply, and the sound of thunder follows. you yelp, having no clue what the heck is going on.

you look at gepard with wide eyes, and the captain of the silvermane guards explains what's happening in the sky right now. well, it doesn't really aid in reassuring you since he makes it sound quite terrifying, and with the next roar of thunder you jump onto his lap and bury your face in his chest.

he knows very well that you're safe inside so he remains calm, which keeps you from freaking out completely, but you're still on edge and refuse to leave his lap.

kisses the top of your head reassuringly.

okay, the way you cling to him flusters him to no end but he sucks it up just for you. and besides, with your face buried in his chest it's not like you can see him blush, right?

mentally dies a little every time a silvermane guard walks by, but it's whatever, he does everything for your comfort.

he's so caring in the most endearingly awkward way, and despite your fear it gives you the butterflies. he's such a sweetheart when it comes to you!

together you wait for the storm to pass, and he's so relieved when you finally relax again.

blade

this guy has been everywhere across the universe in search of stellarons, and i'm pretty sure he's encountered a few thunderstorms along the road. plus, he's just not easily intimidated, so thunderstorms don't bother him at all.

i can see him struggling to understand what you find so scary about them, your instant fear is obvious and it takes him by surprise.

"bladie, what's happening?" you ask, voice trembling as another lightning bold pierces the sky.

"that's thunder, y/n," he replies. "first time seeing it?"

you nod, and blade knows enough.

he takes you to seek shelter somewhere, far away from the other stellaron hunters because seeing you like this kinda brings out his soft and doting side and he doesn't want anyone else to see that.

secretly finds the way you cling to him adorable, but he's nice enough not to coo at you while you're in such distress.

i think he's actually quite good at soothing you? like, he's so calm and unfazed and secretly so soft for you, and he mumbles sweet nothings into your ear and allows you to do whatever you please, such as playing with his hands or hair to keep yourself distracted.

at some point you're just leaning into his chest, watching the storm pass by in silence. you're still anxious, but blade reassures you every time another thunder rolls by and you somehow manage to get through it without completely losing your shit.

as the sky clears, he pats your head.

"you did well."

please appreciate this side of your bladie, as you don't get to see it too often.

[mauesartetc]

Thoughts on Helluva Boss 108 ("Queen Bee")

Yeeeah so we knew pretty much from the jump that this episode wouldn't have much substance to it. Viv Medrano herself said as much. But again, I have to wonder: What's the point of making a full episode of a show if you don't have the story to support it? You know the phrase "This meeting could have been an email"? This episode could have been a music video.

I typically include a list of pros and a list of cons when I write these, but everything was just so bland I can't functionally categorize much of it. I wasn't angry, I wasn't entertained, I didn't feel anything. All my thoughts about this episode are floating around in a soup and I just can't be bothered to sort them into the usual boxes. So this'll be more of a barely-coherent brainspew than anything else. If the writers couldn't put the effort in, why should I?

Fuck it, let's do this.

First, the elephant in the room: Beelzebub's design. That's a lengthy separate rant I'll save for another time, but I'll just say the first time I saw it, I thought it looked like some kid's DeviantArt fursona. But let's be real, I've got a feeling she only looks the way she does so Viv could make an easy reference to her "Die Young" music video.

I get that Kesha is Viv's idol and it must have been huge to land her for this voice-acting gig (though to be clear, she didn't sing the song in the episode. Helped write it; didn't sing it), but man, the self-indulgence is just leaking through the screen. This wouldn't feel so uncomfortable if Viv herself did any of the animation in this episode, but if you check the credits, she didn't. She wrote this plot cul-de-sac of pointless filler just so she could make other people animate the most complex character design to come out of the show and pat herself on the back for all of it. Again: Could have been a music video.

The episode's actual "plot" consists of Loona having a series of awkward conversations, calling Blitzo, and driving him home when he gets too trashed. There is a little development in their relationship? I guess? But of course no one mentions what went down at the beach. Much like what happened between Blitzo and Stolas in "Ozzie's", we can safely assume that event will get swept under the rug, never to be heard from again. I'd like to point out that the musical number takes about three minutes out of the fourteen-and-a-half-minute runtime. They could have cut the rest of this shit and nothing would have been lost; in fact a good amount of time and money would have been saved.

Three minutes. That's all you would have needed.

As far as Bee and Vortex, I never would've guessed they were a couple unless Vortex said so. They act more like good friends than boyfriend and girlfriend. Y'all couldn't have shown us a kiss, a little flirting, or even a hug? The PDA doesn't have to be excessive, but some indication of chemistry might be nice. This would also create more tension and discomfort for Loona, as it'd be hard to watch the guy she has a crush on make out with someone else.

Also, question: In this universe, hellhounds have roughly the same social status as imps, right? Maybe lower? Why, then, is it perfectly okay for one of the Seven Sins, who outranks Stolas, to date a hellhound, but it's not okay for Stolas to date an imp? What the fuck was the main conflict of "Ozzie's", then?! Hello?? With what little worldbuilding y'all give us, could you at least try to keep it consistent?

Speaking of which, the cleanup in this one is just rife with inconsistencies. It's not usually something I comment on as it hasn't been too noticeable in other episodes, but damn. Sometimes the outlines are thick, then they're thin, then they're thick again. The screenshots below came from three consecutive Loona scenes:

And take a look at how often Beelzebub's longest eyelashes change:

I noticed a bit of this in Exes and Oohs as well, with the scratch on Chaz's nose changing thickness from scene to scene. I'll repeat what I said then: Make sure the whole cleanup department sticks to the same brush size.

As for the song "Cotton Candy"... eh. It was alright? Not really my thing, but I'm not a big pop music fan anyway. Would I listen to it in my everyday life? Nah. But it's fine. I will say there's a hiccup in the meter of the lyrics that kinda threw me off:

Hey, I don't know why I'm whatchu want but it's the truth I'm not your lie Let them eat cake let them eat pie Or better yet Let them eat COTTON CANDY!

Feels like there could've been more after "or better yet"; the "cotton candy" seems abrupt there, as if the song were playing on vinyl and the record skipped. Maybe "Or better yet/ The sweetest treat that any one of y'all can get/ COTTON CANDY!" Like I'm not a songwriter by any means and I don't pretend to be anywhere near Kesha or Drew Pearson's level, but perhaps a few more syllables would've made that verse feel more complete.

But the animation for the musical number was really good! (Sounding like a broken record here, but this could have been a music video and it would've been much more tolerable.)

Kesha's voice acting was okay, though in some spots it came off like she's never said the f-word before. Just didn't seem natural. But the rest was alright.

I did like how Beelzebub was actually a decent person, since it would've been way too easy to make anyone Vortex was dating (who wasn't Loona) a total bitch. But Bee is gregarious, generous and actually nice to Loona despite her social awkwardness. And hey, Loona had a somewhat-positive interaction with another female character, so brownie points for that, I guess?

Not sure what Loona actually learned here, though, or how she magically dropped the attitude and became more social after some rando flirted with her (I mean you were literally crying a minute ago but some dude calling you hot is enough to change your mind about leaving?). I don't know, it feels like the episode could've shown her connecting with other introverts and doing something fun in their own little enclave, enjoying the party in their own way, rather than making her extroverted in a matter of seconds. Then maybe her newfound friends would like her for who she really is, not for the arbitrary box she tried to squeeze into. There's more than one way to have fun at a party, y'know? Perhaps a way that doesn't involve drinking, which Loona seems keen to avoid (but has no problem cheering Blitzo on in a chugging contest, apparently-?).

One nitpick about the hellhound in the purple shirt who called Loona a hottie: That was not the voice I expected to come out of him. The delivery just doesn't match at all. Something deep, sure, but maybe smoother, more sultry? (Seriously, if you played the audio of that line for someone who hadn't seen the show and asked them to match it to a male character from this episode, I'd bet anything they wouldn't get it on the first try.)

I know I've said before that Helluva Boss is what happens when you write fanfic of your own IP, but this episode, more than any other, reeaaally felt like fanfic. This felt like a fan asking, "Hey, what if we saw what Loona was up to in the Ozzie's episode?", then creating a bottle story that didn't affect anything else in canon. This whole thing (apart from Cotton Candy) was truly a waste of everyone's time. I'm glad the animators got some good reel fodder out of it, but whatever they were paid, it wasn't enough.

[fumifooms]

Howl’s moving castle dunmeshi AU

I’ve cracked the code I know why I love Marcille x Chilchuck so much. They’re literally just like Howl’s Moving Castle Howl and Sophie. Okok indulge me for a sec I’m about to dump so many pics and ramble for a bit. I want you to see my marchil vision. It’s fabulous extra cringefail hopeless romantic drama queen x grumpy old sad angry caring hardworking person cursed to be here & cursing fate and giving tough love to everything in a miles radius. No one is safe. From either of them. Calcifer or Micheal is Izutsumi. Wait wait no Calcifer is Senshi and Michael is Izutsumi. Senshi as Calcifer works bc Calcifer is just chained to Howl and is there reminding Howl to not die and take care of himself, giving hints about how to break the curse to Sophie, also the fire demon cooks the eggs and bacon checkmate. And then LAIOS IS TURNIP HEAD OH MY GOD THAT WORKS OUT PERFECTLY. Chilchuck & Marcille, screaming terrified of the weird scarecrow chasing after them, meanwhile the weird scarecrow that’s harmless: :(. Wizard Suliman is Falin and the second fire demon is Winged Lion, so bam everything comes full circle.

I’m assuming most people who’ll see this post maybe saw the movie but not the book, and what you need to know is that the movie makes Howl so much dreamier and collected and cool, whereas in the book he’s just a drama queen 24/7 that’s it. He’s a wet cat dressed in expensive sparkly glittery gowns that needs to be yelled at to do anything he needs to do. He complains. He bemoans. Meanwhile Sophie is, honestly pretty like in the movie? Less contrarian and anger issues but will grumble and yells while cleaning nonetheless. Hardworking but will pathetically sit down on a chair in a dark corner to cry about her aching bones and OHH this is ALL because she’s the eldest child and she was doomed for unhappiness and no one can ever love her… So she’ll whack everyone into order and purge her feelings through aggressive cleaning and using weed killer. IS THIS NOT GIVING MARCILLE & CHIL TO YOU?!

There’s this funny widespread take from the fandom:

And it couldn’t be more true in a marchil context either. Like come on. For all of this post just swap the names of Howl for Marcille and Sophie for Chilchuck.

(Last one with the art by Cookiekappa on Tumblr)

Tell me this isn’t so Marcille. Tell me Chil wouldn’t run away from home thinking he’s failed life and is no longer in shape to work and now has to waddle in self-pity, seeking out wizards which he hates and finds shady bc it’s his last option, and then end up a maid & cleans everything out of spite and also worry for the person living there. Tell me Marcille wouldn’t throw a depressed slime tantrum so bad that it causes a partial town evacuation because her wails summon unknown horrors, over her HAIR. Forget slime she’d blow up the house instantly. She would breakdance as refusal to go see the king. Chilchuck would call her a slitherer-outer and she would gasp in offense and they’d have a fight.

Marcille having full on poems laying around and then Chil & Izu seeing them and being like "Ah yes, this must be a spell, it makes no sense and is so extra, just like how silly our resident witch and her magic is". Izutsumi going "Okay peepaw I’ll teach you how to use a magical bucket just take one step forward-" and they immediately fuck it up and they’re left stranded in far unknown lands. Chilchuck complaining that HIS BACK HURTS. And at every turn or something mildly inconveniencing him "NOTHING GOOD EVER HAPPENS TO THE MIDDLE CHILD".

And can we talk about the aging motif, the curse… Marcille never letting herself grow close to someone even though she does all these grand gestures for them at first. Meanwhile her fear of loss stares at her straight in the eye whenever she looks at 90 years old Chilchuck, and her deciding to not run away from their relationship is what ends up healing both of them. She gets over her fear of intimacy and he grows over feeling like a terribly dull unlovable failure. Me sobbing when I remember how Sophie’s curse of being old is a self-inflicted manifestation of herself thinking she’s romantically unlovable and weak…….

This is it for now but rest assured that I want to make art of this, have these memes for now

[ja-reau]

Feeling pretty useless at uni right now and missing my family. Could you pls write some fluff with a supportive platonic Larissa x reader. Maybe reader having a bad day at Nevermore and Larissa finding them crying somewhere and -fluff commence-

I need me a hug or 100 from Larissa

Too Much - Larissa Weems x student!Reader (platonic)

This was so fun to write and it got super self indulgent HA. Anyways, enjoy!!

Word Count: 878

Warnings: mentions of depression

School was really starting to get the best of you. You had been so stressed as of lately. Your grades were slowly dropping, and it was noticeable to all your teachers. After all, you were one of the best students at Nevermore Academy. You made honour roll every year. But for the past few months, your A plus grades had slowly dropped to Bs and then to Cs. And after an extremely stressful Parents Weekend, you had reached the end of your rope. 

Your dads questioned why your grades were slipping. They questioned why you were so down all the time. They didn’t get it. They didn’t understand that you had fallen into a deep depression. You loved your dads, you really did. But they just didn’t seem to get that. “But you have everything you could ever want. Why are you so sad?” your one father asked. And that just made you feel awful. 

He was right. You had everything you ever needed. So then why were you depressed? You didn’t even have the answer to that question. Life was good! Right? Well… at times. 

You missed your home. When you first started at this school, you were home sick. But after a few months, you got used to it. Now, in your senior year, you were homesick again. You missed your fathers dearly. You missed your home dearly. Overall, you missed your happiness. You wished you were that happy kid you were a few months ago. 

Right after classes finished, you went and locked yourself in your dorm room for the evening. Your roommate, Yoko, was concerned. Since she spent the most time with you, she saw how far into the rabbit hole of depression you had fallen. “Why don’t you come out with Bianca and I tonight?” she asked as she put her sweater on. You simply shook your head no. “I have a study date with myself and my books.” you said. 

After an hour of studying, trying to improve your grades, you decided it was time to eat. You grabbed your wallet and made your way to the cafeteria. It was far too late for there to be any real food, so a vending machine dinner would have to be make do. You weren’t that hungry lately anyway so it made no difference. You rummaged through your wallet before finding a few coins and popping them into the slot. Pressing on a button, suddenly a red flashing light popped up next to it. 

Sold Out 

Fuck. You pressed the next button. 

Sold Out

Again? Okay fine, you pressed on another button, 

Sold Out 

A loud, frustrated groan left your mouth. This whole day was awful, but this just pushed you over the edge. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” you asked out loud, lightly slamming your fist on the vending machine cover. 

“Y/n?” You spun around when you heard your Principal say your name. Redness spread over your face from embarrassment. You looked awful. You were in jogging shorts and an oversized sweater, your hair was a mess and your eyes were red from how tired you were. You quickly pulled your hood up to cover your hair. “Principal Weems.” you said. “Are you alright, dear?” she asked, concern on her face. You nodded. “The vending machine seems to be out of everything I want. But I’m fine.” you said. She didn’t need to know what you were dealing with. “Are you sure that’s all? Your teachers and myself are worried about you. Your grades have dropped significantly. This isn’t like you. Your roommate had brought it to our attention that you only leave your room for classes.” she said. 

Fuck. Were you really this obvious? You didn’t want anyone worrying about you. You were fine. You were totally, one hundred percent fine. 

“I’m okay. I’m just… overwhelmed. But I’ll get my grades back up. I promise.” you said. “Overwhelmed with what?” Larissa asked you, moving to sit at one of the seats. “Just… like in general I guess.” you said with a shrug. Larissa didn’t speak, waiting for you to say more. She motioned towards the empty seat next to her for you to sit on. You bit your lower lip before going to sit next to her. Something about Larissa was comforting. She had such a warm nature to her. You felt safe around her. “I just think that… maybe I’m depressed or something. I just feel so numb all the time. And I miss home. And I miss my dads a lot. And I just.. I have no energy to do anything anymore. So I guess that’s why my grades have slipped. I just want to be happy again.” you said, not even noticing the tears that started to slip down your cheeks until you felt Larissa wipe them off your cheeks. “Oh darling.” she said softly, moving to wrap her arm around you. You instantly leaned into her arms. “I’m sorry. It’s just all too much.” you said quietly. “Don’t apologise. I’m here for you sweetie.” she said. 

For the first time in months, you felt relief wash over you. Someone was here for you. “I got you.” Larissa said softly. She got you.

Tags:

@sapphicsbeloved @lesbianbookworm15

[writers-vlogx]

Dating rafa would include

Okay give me some time to change my page because I will in fact be writting about all sorts of things since I have time to finally watch shows

Dating Rafael is certainly an experience to say the least, if you meet him from all the way back in sinaloa then you have officially won this man's heart, because you have stuck with him through rough and thick, and you sure as hell have seen the easy and the ugly

I can absolutely imagine that after yall started dating you could completely stop calling him Rafael unless you were mad or being very serious

Because the only things you call him are "Rafa" or "Amor" and if for whatever reason you do call his full name this man will turn around so fast that it'll leave him with whiplash

You tend to follow him around and make sure he doesn't do anything too stupid so, you know those times during the series that he got himself in trouble because of impulsive and stupid decisions? yeah you would be there to not let it get too far

Another thing is after you start the business and yall are able to get that big ass house, do not be surprised if this man is spoiling you rotten

He knows how much both of yall struggled before and he appreciates how much your willing to put up with his antics since he knows he can be a handful even if he doesn't like to admit it

Now that he has the money and resources he wants you to live as comfortably as possible, because you have sacrificed a lot to be with him and not only with him but as his equal

I'm a full believer that this man is so soft around you, like I can fully imagine him coming home from working or dealing with some issues and coming home wanting to see you and just melt into your arms

But the thing is he can't find you..."Amor ya llege donde estas?" He walks around for a while checking where you could possibly be "Amorrr" he still can't find you

I can sort of see how he would think of the worse case scenario and just...panic

He could get scared, this is more self indulged than anything but in the middle of panicking I can see how he could feel how the house is too big and everything is echoing and he gets scared. Doesn't know how to react

Eventually with all the commotion you wake up and rush downstairs "Rafa?? Que te pasa amor estas bien? Ey mi amor que tienes?" You reach him and crouch down to his level just looking at him with the softes smile and the most gentle of looks, and when he sees you all that panic just washes away as he wraps his arms around you

His breathing is heavy and his hands are shaking he was scared to lose you, he knows his line of business is not safe and the last thing he wants is to see you hurt

Because trust me, if the day comes that someone chooses to try to hurt you...oh, ohh you better run b*tch

Because he is coming after then with everything he's got and when he finds them, he's gonna put a bullet through their skull "Hijo de tu pinché madre como chingados se te ocurrió poner tus sucias manos en mi novia eh? RESPONDEME HIJO DE LA CHINGADA" yeah it's not gonna be pretty because for you this man could bring hell upon anyone.

QUESTION: WOULD YALL LIKE ME TO WRITE A YANDERE RAFA??

[kneelingshadowsalome]

okay, so i’ve just finished your Just Friends fic, and now i’ve just been analyzing every aspect of this story because it’s that fucking good. and so personally, after all the psychoanalysis and interpretative symbolize i feel were very subtly connected with each other, i think that könig and engel… AND BARE WITH ME… are perfect for each other, i would even go as far as to say that they were probably meant for each other, and i mean, like, probably soulmates.

and before i get into this, i just want to say, as a disclaimer, i’m not romanticizing anything of this and i don’t condone any of this. this my own analysis on i what interpreted in your fic and why i feel this way.

anyway, their relationship is a great example of a twisted, dark, semi-toxic relationship, and i say semi-toxic because although these two are absolutely insane separately, könig’s sociopathic and personality tendencies and engels morbid curiosity and possible anti social tendencies of her own, together they compliment each other to the T. it’s no wonder why engel keeps going back to him, it’s not a matter of her not knowing any better or being naive, in fact it’s the complete opposite, she knows what she’s getting into, she loves it and she thrives off of it. engel revels in the forbidden realm of her fantasies that she tends to escape from, and now with könig, who so openly offers it to her, she is clearly driven by desire and lust of her own and will engage with it as much as possible so instinctively. at this point, she’s aware of everything könig can do for her, to her, and more, and i feel, after our conclusion of what we know, engel will definitely use that to her advantage, not necessarily to use him but to explore for herself and what he can continue for her. sure, it‘a possibly, definitely self-indulgent, and probably selfish of her, but she’s happy, and when she’s happy könig’s happy, and as long as she doesn’t cross a line that i’m pretty she’s knows könig have repeatedly emphasized, they will continue there escapades happily. and i would continue on to explain my own little theories about könig’s psyche and his future with her but this is getting too long.

i truly think that what they feel for each other is genuine, it may not be love, it may be obsession, but whatever it is, it’s there and they both aware of it. no matter how toxic it may be to the normal eye, no one can’t deny that when they’re together they’ve truly become one. i’m sure after everything they been through, they will be inseparable, they will become each other in their own right. i think they depend on each other more than ever, and in a way, that is poetically beautiful in the most fucked up of ways. i love it, i love you, i love what you created. thank you for reading my essay~

i would love to offer up some headcanons of my own in the future, but im not sure. o.o

Okay. Okay. Okay.

I'm fine! Everything's fine ❤️

First of all. I had to take the longest moment to cry sit and stare at a wall after reading your message. I will try and not make a fool of myself when I answer this, but... (I know I'm about to sound as crazy as König & Engel)

You don't even know how much this means to me 💕 because this is IT. This is exactly what this story is about. Your analysis is better, more profound and more nuanced than anything I could ever have written myself. *cries*

Reader explores her suppressed fantasies, the dark side of her soul through and with König, yes.

Just like we do here on tumblr when we're indulging ourselves in these silly little imagines...? I'm sorry if this makes people uncomfortable but that's just how I see it and as I've said before it's only healthy to have an outlet (and not forget humor while we're at it 🤍)

And so does König explore his light, angelic side with Engel! She represents everything he has cast outside of himself and wants to reclaim: innocence, kindness, softness, vulnerability, life, normality, even safety.

Sure, he also projects his mother wound (or whatever you wish to call it) onto her and seeks in her the nurturer he never had, the comfort and appreciation he never had. Engel on the other hand seeks a powerful protector and wants to let go of the stifling need to be sane and kind and conventional. She has agency: in the end, everything in this story happens as a result of her actions and decisions.

It's not healthy, it's not safe or sane, but it's genuine and it's a true attempt to live more honestly. They're both crazy, but I still believe that under the obsession and madness blooms a strange but strong love. They belong together!

And this is also the reason why she is special and König absolutely adores her – I haven't been succesful, perhaps, in trying to convince people of it because toxic König sorta has a life of its own nowadays but your analysis proved it all so beautifully that I can only say THANK YOU and also would you marry me please you're awesome I love you 🩷💖💋

And I'd LOVE to hear more of your headcanons! Feel free to ramble in my inbox anytime or if you feel comfortable enough I wish to remind (everyone) that my dms are always open too 💕

Thank you anon for your essay, it was the most delightful read and I think I'm going to go and cry a bit more now...!

[fieldofsecretss]

Never too much love-D.M

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Fem!reader

Warnings: foul language, light homophobia, crying

Requested?: no, this one is very self indulgent sorry

Summary: Consider this me coming out as Bisexual...surprise..! Anyway just read it for god’s sake❤️

A/n: this was very therapeutic for me to write, just to get out pent up emotions and just say it out loud, or write it out loud hehe.

——————————————————————

Hot silent tears danced their way down your cheeks, leaving a black-ish trail of mascara under your eyes. You were tense.. your shoulders trembled and rattled through every deep breath you took, you were almost dizzy while you briskly walked. You were headed to the only place you felt safe. The only place you felt the most accepted and cared for, Draco’s dorm.

The walk there was long and risky, filch could catch you at any moment, it was a 50/50 chance. You were bound to get there though, because this couldn’t wait. You could’ve waited until the next morning, but you hoped the icy air in the hallways could calm you down a bit, which it did to a certain degree. Finally nearing his door your breath mellows out a little bit while you sniffled through the fast tears. You know the moment you see him everything is going to come rushing back to you again, but for now you find an eye in the storm. When you lift your gaze from your shoes you were right in front of the dark wooden door you were oh so familiar with.

Taking a big breath, you lifted you fist and knocked four times-for good measure. No matter how many times you’ve been there doing the exact same thing, this time it felt extra loud as your knocks echoed in the airy building. You heard shuffling from the other side, you lifted your hand and focused on your knuckles, feeling yourself starting to drift into your own mind. Before you venture too far into your own mind, the hinge of the door opened, bringing you back as you gaze upon those beautiful metallic eyes of his.

He immediately absorbs your appearance. Each emotion of concern, worry and shock spread across his features.

“Love, what’s wrong? Are you alright? What are you doing here this late, you could’ve gotten spotted”

Each question of his whirls past you, overwhelming you and simultaneously easing the ache in your bones just by hearing his deep voice.

You immediately tackle him into a hug, nuzzling your face into his casually clad chest. A white t-shirt he opted to wear for the night.

His body reacts faster than his brain as he expands his large over your back, protecting you from what seems to be bothering you. The deep rumble in his chest indicates he’s starting up his interrogation again.

“Sweetheart, you’re scaring me. What’s going on?” His voice firm yet gentle.

“I-I’m fine, I just-well..” your voice slightly muffled by his shirt but his attentive ear catches them.

“Come on, let’s get you inside, yeah?”

“Yeah ok..”

He slightly breaks the embrace to gently lead you into the familiar second ‘home’ and leads you to sit down onto his tightly made bed.

Still holding onto your shoulders he sits you down onto the dark green covers of his bed, he leans his body closer to yours, meeting your eyes as he ducks his head a little to be in eye level. He scans your face, the worry evident and unmoving. Yet he waits for your words..

“I have no idea where to start, dray”

“And that’s okay, take a deep breath and relax. Can you tell me what’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” He asks softly, almost uncharacteristically softly.

At the moment you just think of how gentle he is with you, how he is the rock in your life.

“I’m thinking of you…a-and how gentle and loving you are towards me” the tears now again making their appearance known by rolling down your cheeks. But this time his ring clad hand catches the tears before they fall.

“I-I came over because I need you Draco...I needed my Draco because I don’t-.” your breath catches in your throat as you fight the lump resting there “because I don’t have anyone else I can tell this to”

His hands found yours. He nods along with your words. Really absorbing every word that leaves your plump lips.

“Okay baby. You know I’m always here for you and I’m glad you can trust me this much, whatever it is you can tell me”

“I know” you say giving him a watery smile. He waits patiently for you to begin to talk again, anticipating every word. You take a deep breath and sigh.

“I just couldn’t hold the weight of this anymore, dray. It’s too heavy for me”

“What weight, love?” He asks as he feel his heart starting to sink

“Me being...” you pause, the word catching on your tongue. This was it. The moment that had driven you mad. Made you feel like a freak. The real reason you felt like an outcast, and outsider. The truth you’ve been harboring for years. You had suppressed it, not realizing until you got older and your brain got more developed, you’ve run from it but now your legs were tired. The fear that held its grip on you was about to unclench now, with him..your Draco.

“I’m bi-bisexual, Draco”

The words hang in the air, the world felt as it zoomed in on the two of you.

“Oh sweetheart…I’m so proud of you. I love you, thank you for telling me”

“Oh Dray, I love you too and I don’t want you to think that I’m not committed to you or-“ he cuts you off mid ramble.

“No Sh sh sh, love I wasn’t thinking that”

“Okay” you replied.

There’s a beat while you two process what had been said, so you continued to explain what lead you to come out to him.

“So I’ve been dealing with this for a long time...I-it’s just..it’s been heavy on my mind lately and was getting too much to hold in”

He nods, acknowledging how vulnerable you are this very moment.

“Tonight it just bubbled up and eventually spilled over I guess..” he hangs onto every word you say.

“I received a letter tonight and I snuck out to see you because my parents...they-“ you feel yourself begin to choke up as you think of their harsh words.

“Breathe y/n, it’s okay you got this” he comforts.

“They said some really nasty things about gay people and I had to pretend it didn’t affect me at all, but when I was alone and read the letter and those things they said I just broke down, I just lost it” tears run down your face in a fast pace, your hand begin to shake in pent up anger, sadness and pain

His grip on your hands became firmer, he grounded you, encouraging you. He leaned his forehead against yours, brushing his beautiful nose against yours in a loving gesture.

“My beautiful girl, so strong..I’m so incredibly proud of you. And I’m so sorry your parents are pricks”

“But that’s the thing Draco, you’ve met them and they aren’t necessarily bad people but-“

“They are idiots”

“Yeah…you’re right..they are.”

Draco now feeling more protective of you than ever says,

“How dare they make my sweet girl feel this way, huh? Wait until my father hear about this shit” he looks into your sad eyes.

“You’re perfect to me, if being bi is who you are, then it’s who you are, love”

You give him a little smile which he reciprocates happily. You were convinced he was an angel sent down to you. How divine it was having someone loving you for you.

“Thank you Draco, I love you”

“Of course, I love you too y/n”

You give each other a shy eyes, he starts to lean in before stopping close enough for you to feel his minty breath on your lips.

“This okay..?” He ask for your permission

“Always, dray” you breathe out and your lips connects in a bruising, loving and emotional kiss..

And then it was sealed...

———————————————————————

Got lazy in the end I’m so sorry if this sucked!!

[ace-of-zaun]

‘I love him’ (One-shot):

Silco x gn!reader - SFW

CW: drunk!reader, fluff, confessions, self-doubt/low self-esteem, swears, established relationship, soft silco my beloved, silco POV

1.8k words

Summary: Silco can’t quite believe his eyes when you stumble into his office at the end of the evening, drunk out of your mind. But as he worriedly helps you get into bed, it’s your drunken confession that truly astounds the disconcerted kingpin. 

A/N: anyone else in need of some silco fluff with an extra dose of softness?? -elsie x

-

Of all the ways Silco had expected the evening to end, you stumbling into his office in the drunkest state he’d ever seen you in, would not have been his first guess. Or his second. Or third. Or even fourth, considering you’d told him you were going down to the club to double-check the stockroom matched the inventory list, filled out by the bar staff the night before. 

Evidently, you had gotten side-tracked, (or perhaps indulged in most of said stock, he mused), as you pushed open the door to his office two hours later, putting far too much of your weight onto it and nearly tripping yourself up in the process.

You looked an absolute mess. Your hair was tussled, your eyes were bloodshot, and your jaw lay slack as you gazed blankly at the large, ornate window behind his desk.

Silco thinks he’s in shock. In fact, he’s so astonished at the spectacle before him that for the first time in years, he can’t produce a single word in response to the situation. Instead, his eyes widen in disbelief as he watches you stumble your way towards him, your head lulling as you try not to trip over the edges of the rug. 

His pen and paperwork now entirely forgotten, Silco quickly pushes himself to stand as you unsteadily approach the desk, ready to rush to your side if you were to fall. But instead, you by-pass his desk entirely and make your way towards the door to your shared bedroom, wobbling the whole of the (admittedly short) journey. 

What? 

Okay, now Silco is confused. His mismatched eyes follow you in disbelief as you shuffle away from him and into the bedroom. And it was only as your unstable form disappeared into the darkness of the room, that he realised you hadn’t even looked at him once since entering his office. 

Silco frowns. Were you mad at him? He hopes not. He doesn’t think he could handle you being upset with him, even if he was certain he hadn’t done anything wrong (well, to you, that is). 

You’d only been dating for just short of a year, but Silco knew without a shadow of a doubt that he absolutely adored you. You were sweet, kind, and infinitely understanding, but also passionate, and willing to fight for what you believed was right. Everything he’d been missing in his life. 

He is pretty sure he’d do anything for you at this point. And honestly, it terrified him. 

At the sound of the wardrobe door being slammed open, and a grumbled curse following shortly after, Silco rushes into the room to find you miserably failing to wrestle your shirt off of your torso.

“Darling?” he asks quietly.

You put one finger up to your lips, swaying unsteadily on your feet as you whisper in his general direction.

“Shhhhhh, Silco is working and I don’t want to disturb him.” 

Oh. So that’s why you hadn’t looked or spoken to him on your way through his office. You weren’t mad at him; you were so drunk you thought he hadn’t seen you. 

Part of him is quietly amused at your disorderly conduct, but the other part of him is really quite concerned. You’d never got yourself in such a state that you could barely make out your surroundings. Frankly, Silco is relieved you managed to get yourself up to his office in one piece.

“Here, let me help you,” he says, moving swiftly across the room to where you were clutching onto the wardrobe door. 

He helps you pull a large, comfy shirt over your head and sighs deeply when you get trapped in it. Is this what it was like when he got drunk? 

No. Not only could he hold his liquor better than you, there was no way he’d require this level of babysitting. And even if he did, he’d fervently deny it the next morning. 

Pyjamas on, Silco decides to do some detective work as he leads you over to the bed. He gently holds your body close as you walk and to his quiet delight, you automatically lean into the motion, like you were inexplicably drawn to him.

“Why are you so intoxicated, my lovely? I thought you were supposed to be doing an inventory check,” Silco asks.

“I was, but I bumped into Sevika…and she convinced me to, uh… to take a shot everytime she got a woman to sit on her lap,” you grind out. It’s slow and slurred and takes a bit of effort to understand.

Silco rolls his eyes. Of course this was Sevika’s doing. 

“And how many did she… manage to convince?”

“Uh… I lost count.”

He exhales through his nose sharply, owing to his steadily growing exasperation. 

Silco manages to pull back the covers and help you into bed, but not before you gracelessly smack your head into his shoulder. Ouch. If it had hurt you as much as it hurt him, you don’t seem to notice. 

“I think she must have paid some of them, nobody can be that attractive,” you mumble, mostly to yourself, as you slump down onto the bed, laying on your side.

‘You are’ Silco thinks automatically, but thankfully holds it back before he can voice it outloud. Truthfully, he doesn’t like you being in the bar during opening hours because he’s worried that you’ll catch the wrong person’s attention. Or worse, (and it's this thought he always squashes down the instant it pops into his head), they’ll catch yours. 

Silco makes a mental note to reprimand Sevika later for leaving you by yourself in such a state, but for now, he’s preoccupied with making sure you’re safe and sound in your shared bed. 

Finally under the covers, Silco feels content enough to leave your side just long enough to fetch you a glass of water from the adjoining bathroom, and a bucket to place at the side of the bed. Despite the mountain of work he knows he should be doing, Silco has already resigned himself to the fact that he’ll be watching over you for most of the night. He doesn’t really mind. 

When he returns to you a few minutes later, you’re quietly mumbling to yourself. 

“...just wish…. so goddamn… deserves a break… gorgeous little…”

It’s really rather endearing. Silco can’t help but smile as he gazes down at the sight of you, his sweetheart, all soft and sleepy in his bed. 

He sits down beside you and reaches out to gently smooth your hair down from its unruly condition. 

“Get some sleep, my love,” Silco croons, openly admiring your flushed face, as his thumb trails lightly across your cheekbone.

And it’s as he’s pulling the covers to fit more snugly over your shoulders that you mumble something that makes his blood run cold. 

“I love him.”

Silco’s face drops.

What did you just say? 

He’s lost for words yet again. It’s almost scary how easily you can halt him in his tracks. Silco had never struggled to know what to say in a tricky situation, that is, of course, until he’d met you. 

Despite him not saying anything in response to your statement, you continue on as if he had.

“You don’t understand, I really love him,” you emphasise, your voice thick with a mixture of sleep and liquor. 

Silco is really frowning now. Who the hell were you talking about? It ignites a rage within him. A terrible, ugly, green monster that is threatening to burst out at any moment. He doesn’t think he can handle the thought of you loving someone else. It would irrevocably break his already fragile heart. Even thinking that your love could be held by another makes him irrationally grief-stricken. 

His face and voice hardens as he quietly demands his next question. 

“Who?”

Your response is so quick and certain, it could only be the gods’ honest truth. 

“Silco.”

He feels like he’s just been shocked. Electrocuted. Eliminated. His pupils widen in pure amazement. 

This was the first time either of you had ever used that word before. Silco can’t quite remember the last time someone had used it in reference to him. 

But he’d be damned if it didn’t feel right. 

The feeling that is rapidly flooding his chest is entirely foreign to him. Entirely too much and yet surprisingly not enough at the very same time. 

“Really?” he asks, his voice low and almost embarrassingly full of hope.

“Yeah, I mean, have you seen him? He’s absolutely fucking adorable,” you begin to ramble, “I know everyone thinks he’s this super scary villain guy, but he’s so sweet and protective and so goddamn hot.”

A blush settles across Silco’s cheeks and ears. 

As he’s still processing your many, many words, you pull your hand from under the warmth of the covers and reach out towards him. Unfortunately, you’re still not really able to focus on anything properly, so Silco has to grab your hand, just in time to stop you from accidentally smacking him in the face.

“You have to promise me you won’t tell him though, he’ll get all huffy about it,” you say emphatically.

Huffy? … Huffy??

What are you talking about? He’s always perfectly lovely, and never huffy, he thinks with a hint of offence. Honestly, the cheek.

Silco raises an eyebrow.

“Will he now?”

“Yeah, and I don’t want to ruin everything with him, you know? He means the world to me.”

Silco doesn’t know how to respond (yet again), so he favours tracing the outline of your delicate features with his eyes. He’d be lying if he said he was disappointed that this was the way he’d found out you loved him, because he honestly never expected you to say it in the first place. 

After everything that had happened, Silco had resigned himself to the fact that he was unlovable many years ago. And he certainly didn’t feel like he deserved your love. Your unending, ethereal love. 

But maybe it was enough to heal his cold, broken heart. 

You finish your impassioned speech while Silco carefully puts your hand back under the covers. 

“I know we haven’t been dating that long, but gods, I fucking love him.”

He stares down at you in pure disbelief, only broken out of his reverie when your eyelids finally stop fluttering as they close fully. You’re exhausted. 

Silco strokes your hair, as if you were the most precious thing in the world, and leans over you. 

A quiet, questioning breath of your name dances across your cheek. 

“Mhmm?” you vocalise so reticently, he almost misses it. 

“He loves you too,” Silco tells you quietly, in the softest voice he’s ever spoken in.

Then, he kisses your forehead before sitting back up to watch you slowly drift into a peaceful sleep. 

Silco knows that when you wake, you’ll have an interesting conversation ahead of you, depending on just how much you remember from the night before. 

But for now, he’s more than comfortable just basking in the knowledge that you love him and he desperately loves you, because you’re by far the best thing that has ever happened to him. And he wouldn’t trade you for the world. 

-

A/N: 

reader: i love him

Silco: *gasp* they loooove me so, that funny honey of miiiine

[lululawrence]

Annual Writing Self-Evaluation 2023

Thank you for tagging me @allwaswell16! I am so happy every year that this (I believe) brainchild of @juliusschmidt's from 2016 still exists in various forms! hehe I apparently missed doing this in 2021 and 2022, and I was determined not to miss it again so here we go!

List of works published this year: My Other Half Was You Gemma's Dad (Could Use A Guy Like Me) Quite the Pickle Livin' In A Daydream (Gimme a Solution and) Watch Me Run With It You Are A Song Did You Know I Fit In A Dryer? Were You There On That Christmas Night? Team Gaelic FTW No Constraints Odds Are That We Will Probably Be... Damsel in Christmas Distress Snow In Love

Work you are most proud of (and why): Oof. This is always such a hard question to answer. Almost as hard as the next one, and the next one and the next one....... hah honestly though, I think... I'm honestly sincerely proud of most of my fics from this year simply because I got them written. I'll go more into that later, I'm sure, but maybe... I think maybe My Other Half Was You or Odds Are That We Will Probably Be... and for very different reasons. My Other Half Was You was written based on artwork by @moon-sun-thyme for @1dreversebang and the moment I saw her artwork I had these vague ideas coming to mind and I am quite proud with how I was able to bring them to life so closely resembling what I originally thought of when I saw the art. And for Odds Are, I wrote that for @1dtrickortreatfest so it had to be exactly 666 words and that's always a trick (heh), but in this case I had to completely world build and set up the situation and lead everyone to the conclusion within that word count while making it somewhat compelling... and I think I was able to manage it. I hope I was, anyway haha

Work you are least proud of (and why): lmaooooo usually this answer is really hard for me to answer, but this year it's not haha i have a few fics that I literally wrote to just remind myself that I could. That not everything has to be thought out and polished and pretty, sometimes it's just a matter of getting words on paper and putting them out into the world immediately, hoping for the best, and they absolutely served their purpose! I'm fond of them still, but that doesn't mean I'm proud of them necessarily haha So I would have to say Damsel in Christmas Distress (which I still love dearly, simply for how self indulgent that silly thing is for me haha) and Quite the Pickle. Again, my darling Stylinshaw fics getting the brunt of it here, but they did as they needed to for me. I'll maybe try to write them a longer, more polished fic with some thought behind it this year, as they clearly deserve.

A favorite excerpt of your writing: GAHHHH I hate this question every damn time! Okay, I don't know if this is my absolute favorite thing I wrote this year, BUT it immediately came to mind, and I do very much like it so, here's an excerpt from Gemma's Dad (Could Use A Guy Like Me). I just adore Harry being a fumbling idiot around a pretty boy hahaha Ever since he had dug up his garden, he preferred to start in the back where the job was a lot more complicated to work around and then move to the front, which was far easier.  Now, though, Harry was wondering if this was the right decision because Louis was also mowing his lawn. That wasn’t a problem, of course, except he was shirtless and that only defined for Harry the fact he really had grown up. Louis used to try to show off for the neighborhood by mowing any number of lawns shirtless in middle school and high school, but he had been a scrawny kid with little to no meat on his bones and Harry had thought it adorable back then. Now, on a sweltering day like it was, he was probably shirtless just to be as cool as possible as the sun beat down on him, and Harry’s vision wasn’t as good as it used to be, but he could still tell that Louis had filled out since going to college. He was still a thin man, but as he pushed the mower through the tall grass, Harry could see the muscles he clearly put effort into. Add to it the chest hair that was only growing darker as he continued to sweat and the smattering of tattoos he’d gotten since he turned eighteen and it was clear he had grown up. Harry couldn’t help it when the glint of the sun off Louis’ sweaty skin made him lick his lips without even thinking. Clearing his throat and thankful it was obvious Louis was too focused to notice Harry ogling him from his own yard, Harry pulled the starter and began to work on his own yard.

Share or describe a favorite review you received: I've got three that immediately came to mind, so excuse me while I mention all three as quickly as I can manage lol First was from @allwaswell16 for Gemma's Dad. I'd had a lot of difficulty with a someone reading motivations and meaning in the characters and story that I took a lot of care in ensuring were actually avoided as I wrote it. There were a lot of pitfalls I could have fallen into when writing the fic, but one person just kept asking over and over again for things I thought I had already done and my beta assured me I had sufficiently covered etc, but I still worried so when Anitra gave the review she did of it on her podcast, it literally made me cry a little bit lol Second was @londonfoginacup in response to (Gimme a Solution and) Watch Me Run With It when she commented "Ah so you really just tore your chest open and picked out your beating heart and handed it to me here, didn’t you" because... well I hadn't really considered it when I'd been writing the fic, but I guess I kind of did exactly that, yeah. haha And then lastly I want to thank @tommokat for their lovely comments on Snow In Love regarding the Michigan geography and freak lake effect snow that can be experienced there because I tried my very best to describe the absolute chaos that is that region in the wintertime and they basically affirmed that I had accurately captured it. Genuinely, the best gift I could have gotten haha

A time when writing was really, really hard: Excuse me while I laugh a bit hysterically until I cry alksdhglskfja The last year or two have been incredibly difficult for a whole host of reasons, but the ones that most affected my writing were my lingering (and seemingly unending) burnout combined with an absolute lack of time/energy available to write. There were so many times this year that I thought I wouldn't be able to do it or thought I'd have to pull out of various fests and just... cut down on things, but I kept pushing and kept trying and I did it. I'm so fucking proud of myself, honestly.

A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: Jordan North in Did You Know I Fit In A Dryer? Well, honestly, Louis in that fic too. And the entire premise of the fic. Really all of it surprised me lololol I never expected to write Jordan in a fic. Ever. hahahaa And as I've barely dabbled in a couple of weed candies is all, I certainly did not anticipate ever writing someone as THAT HIGH. sooooo...yeah just all of it hahaha

How did you grow as a writer this year: Psh. Bold of you to assume I've grown as a writer this year when I was merely doing what I could to survive haha if anything I kind of wonder if I went backwards in my writing abilities but who the fuck knows, really haha

How do you hope to grow next year: I just... I dunno man. I just kinda hope I'm in a better place this time next year so I'm just not so fucking tired all the time and so I have actual time to write, you know? lol continued good vibes are always welcome here, folks haha

Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): Like... everyone. hah I'm getting a little emotional thinking of everyone who helped me keep going this year. but the greatest? probably @londonfoginacup again. She was the biggest influence in actually getting my Big Bang finished because I didn't want to disappoint her (even though?? I know I won't??? like.. anyway) haha and then I wrote like three fics for her/dedicated them to her just because... like. she keeps me going some days honestly so yeah. Emmu. You're the bestest always babes. Love you.

Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: Listen, all I'm saying is in one of my fics it hits a little too close to home. Like I kind of wrote Harry's starting place... and kinda where he is for a lot of the fic... pretty much exactly how I was feeling, and still pretty much am, though for very different reasons. So it's maybe a little too much of my real life emotionally speaking in there yeah

Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: New? Not so much hahaha just don't give up!

Any new projects you're looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: YES. I was just talking with @moon-sun-thyme this morning that I started the year by posting a fic based on her art, and I'm going out of this year focusing on the fic we will be collaborating on together for the @onedirectionbigbang hehe so I'm very very excited to get started on that one. It's a fic I've been wanting to write almost ever since I first heard the song Satellite, so I am READY to delve in and lose myself to it, honestly. In the whole... one night every week or two I have to write. hahaha Here's hoping I make the deadline haaaaa

Tag three writers whose answers you'd like to read: MAN I have no idea who has and hasn't done this yet! So maybeeeee @justanothershadeofblue, @hellolovers13, anddddd @quotefromthatshow and @louandhazaf if you haven't done it already and want to! And shh I know it’s four but who cares lolol

*All answers should be about fics posted in 2023

Past Years: 2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 and 2020 | 2022(ish)

[razorblade180]

Get together

After a quick voyage via teapot, Aether arrives in Inazuma City where he wastes no time getting out of the light rain and into the Teahouse. Waves and bows from the regular employees, human and canine, give him a warm welcome as he makes his way to a private room. Aether knocks on the door three times before slowly sliding it open. Sitting down in front of a table was Ayaka. While her clothes resembled Fontaine attire similar to the last time they met, Aether became too focused on more important things.

Despite the overcast weather outside, the moment Ayaka’s eyes met his, a warmth filled the room like the first winds of spring as a smile appeared on her lips and in her eyes.

Ayaka:You got my letter!

Aether:Yep. How have you been?

Ayaka:With any luck, stronger every day. Please, come take a seat.

Aether closed the door behind him a joined in for the meal. If this was a public setting, he would’ve taken care to face her directly. Imagine Ayaka’s surprise as the boy casually sat right beside her at the table, his left and resting on hers. Ayaka felt a little flustered. It wasn’t like anyone else was around. She allowed herself to let her guard down and self indulge in the intimacy, gently laying her head against his shoulder as he held her hand with a little more conviction. She was glad she wrote to him.

Ayaka also noticed Aether was a little less tan than before. Not only that, but his frame was…leaner? His hair even appeared to have added length. She watched Aether use his pair of chopsticks to start eating the brilliantly prepared meal.

Ayaka:I’ve gotten your letters as well. You’re in Fontaine now, right? Is everything okay? You seem a little starved.

Aether:Hmm? Oh, hehe. I’m sorry. I have actually finished a request that took nearly 45 days. I bet a look a bit disheveled, don’t I?

Ayaka:I wouldn’t go that far. I was only a little concerned. So you had taken a request? What kind?

Aether:Going to prison.

Ayaka:….Huh?

It took several minutes, but Aether regaled her with his most recent adventure and the trials that stood in the way.

Aether:And now I’m safe and sound eating delicious food again.

Ayaka:To think so much could happen in such little time. It sounds a little overwhelming.

Aether:I definitely wasn’t the easiest task but when isn’t my life filled with twists and turns? Can’t say it was any scarier than meeting the Raiden Shogun for the first time.

Ayaka:If you want, I could order more food for you,

Aether: That’s alright. This is more than enough.

Ayaka:Okay. If you say so…*frowns*

Aether:!? Uh oh, what’s wrong with the birthday girl.

Ayaka:It’s nothing. Or rather…it’s a little silly is all.

Aether:Don’t be like that. Tell me what’s on your mind?

Ayaka:I suppose sometimes…it doesn’t cross my mind that when you leave, there’s a chance you’re in grave danger. Not that I’ll ever doubt your abilities, but I can’t say I’m not a little sad at the thought of your letters suddenly stopping one day.

Aether felt her hand tense up. He could tell she was trying not to make it sound like a big deal but he’s gotten pretty decent at reading a person’s feelings. It also put a warmth in his chest to know she was worried for him.

Lost in thought, Ayaka was caught off guard by the sudden heat that pressed against her right cheek. Her face turned red and she held the spot Aether had gently kissed. Before she could form any words, his arms wrapped around her body, capturing her in a deep embrace that put her head up against his chest. Slowly, her hands trailed up his back and kept him close as her body eased into his. They let each other go just enough for their gaze to meet. The girl’s patience ran low alongside side her inhibitions. Ayaka’s pulled Aether down a little closer and took a proper kiss from him that he gladly returned in earnest.

As it ended, Ayaka felt delighted, yet a little embarrassed as Aether’s hands kept her close by. She wasn’t very well versed in deep, intimate relationships, but she knew her feelings were getting across clearly. Even so…

Ayaka: I…I want to keep seeing you; to have as many opportunities to talk to you as I can. So please, continue to overcome the obstacles in your way. I’m always rooting for you.

Aether:I love you too, Ayaka.

Ayaka:That’s- I….

Her pale skin stayed a beautiful sakura pink color even as she tried hiding it against his body. Aether could only chuckle to himself as he played with her hair.

[otakusheep15]

Lucifer Nsfw Alphabet

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Lucifer is very attentive when it comes to aftercare. It does not matter how long y’all had sex, or how rough it is, he’s always going to give plenty of aftercare. He also doesn’t care if he was top or bottom, dom or sub, whatever, he will usually be the one giving out aftercare. This is Lucifer’s way of showing how much he cares for you, especially if y’all did a particularly rough scene. He’ll make sure you have everything you need, and he gives plenty of praise. Lucifer will never ask for it, but he’d also love it if you gave him some praise. It just tells him that you enjoyed it and that he did everything right. 

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite body part on himself are his hands. Lucifer uses them for basically everything since he’s always working. He likes how he can make you fall apart with nothing but his hands, and they just look so nice on your body. On you, he loved eyes. As cliche as it sounds, eyes are the window to the soul, and Lucifer loves how he can tell what you’re feeling without you needing to say it. 

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Cleanliness is very important to Lucifer, so he prefers to cum in a place that’s easy to clean up. Usually, he’s perfectly fine just using a condom, so tidying up is easy on those days. However, when he isn’t wearing a condom, he likes to cum in you if possible. Mouth, ass, or pussy (if you have one), he doesn’t care as long as you’re okay with it. As a final resort, he’ll cum on your chest or stomach. 

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He’s slept with Diavolo at least once, and you cannot convince me otherwise. It was probably during a night where they were relaxing together after a busy day, and there was almost certainly alcohol involved. They’ve both agreed to keep it a secret, and only Barbatos knows anything. It’s only happened once so far, but neither of them is exactly opposed to try again. 

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Lucifer is probably less experienced than most would think. Of course, he has some experience, but I highly doubt he is the kinky dom everyone says he is. He’s constantly caught up in work, not to mention he’s busy keeping his brothers in line. There’s simply just not much time for sex in his day-to-day. Naturally, Lucifer does indulge himself every once in a while, especially when stressed out, but it isn’t until he meets you that he really taps into his sex drive. 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

If he’s topping, he prefers doggy style. It allows him to have almost full control, which he likes. Lucifer also likes watching your back arch in pleasure when he hits your sweet spots. If he’s bottoming, he prefers cowgirl. This position still allows him to have some semblance of control, and it lets him control the pacing as well. Lucifer has a hard time relinquishing his control to someone else, especially in bed, so this position helps him. If/when you can convince him to give you some of that power in bed, he won’t mind doing missionary when bottoming. 

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He definitely falls under the more serious category. It’s not like he wants to be super serious; that’s just his personality. Lucifer has a hard time being vulnerable, so it would take a while for him to start expressing himself in bed more, but he’s trying his best for you. After a while, he’d start opening up a bit more, and he’d learn to have a bit more fun in bed with you. 

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Very well-groomed, neatly trimmed, and generally well-managed hygiene. As I said before, Lucifer is very particular about cleanliness, and his own body is no exception. He does have a bit of a happy trail, and the carpet does, indeed, match the drapes. 

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Intimacy is something Lucifer has to build up to, and it takes him a few times before he starts opening up. Once he does, he’s the most intimate in bed. Absolutely spoils you, and makes sure that your pleasure comes first. Lucifer actually loves being super romantic in bed, completely contradicting the assumption that he’s dominating and controlling him bed. 

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Lucifer doesn’t masturbate too often. It’s mostly for the same reasons that he doesn’t have sex that often, but there is one extra reason. If he really wants to get off, then Lucifer has no problem finding someone to help him, so there’s no need for him to get off himself. Then he meets you,and he sees even less of a reason to jack off. Now, if he’s ever in the mood, he’ll just call for you. The only time he does consider jacking off is if you’re not in the mood and he’s really horny. 

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Very, very noticable praise kink. Many people assume it’s because of his pride, but it’s actually the opposite. Lucifer, in all honesty, has a really hard time keeping his prideful image up. In truth, he really struggles with his self-image since he’s constantly seen as the sadistic eldest brother or scary right-hand man of the Demon Prince himself. So whenever you give him praise of any kind, it really makes him feel nice. Even in a non-sexual sense, hearing you compliment him and tell him how much you love him does wonders. Lucifer just absolutely melts at the slightest bit of praise, especially in bed. Of course, he loves to praise you too, and he does so very often, for basically anything you do. 

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Mostly his bedroom or yours. Lucifer feels more comfortable being intimate in private, and it’s rare he’ll initiate anything publicly, even if it’s just a peck on the cheek. However, if you both agreed beforehand, he has no problems with remote controlled vibrators in public, whether you’re in control or he is. He especially likes them for punishments. 

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

It takes a lot for Lucifer to get going. He’s usually very busy, and by the time he finishes work, he’s too tired to do much else. If you’re not shy, climb into his lap while he’s working. Try your best to distract him. Do whatever you want while you’re there. Either he’ll get really flustered and begrudgingly leave his work alone for a while, or he’ll get frustrated and punish you by tying you up with a vibe, and he won’t release you until he’s done with work. This’ll usually result in rough, heated sex. If you’re less forward, help him with his work. Take care of his brothers, help him with paperwork, clean up around the house, anything to lessen his workload. Lucifer finds it charming you’d be so willing to help him, and this’ll almost always result in softer, more romantic sex. 

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

I know I probably sound like a broken record by now, but Lucifer finds it difficult to give up his power during sex. For the first little bit of y’all’s relationship, Lucifer refuses to let you dom at all. He’s fine with you doing the penetrating as long as he’s still in charge. Once he starts trusting you more and opening up to you, he’d be more open to subbing, but he still prefers to dom 90% of the time. Also, contrary to popular Devildom rumors, he’s not a huge fan of causing pain during sex. Sex is an intimate thing for Lucifer, and pain of any kind ruins the mood for him. He doesn't mind indulging in your masochistic side if you have one, but he makes absolute sure the two of you have an in depth conversation about it beforehand. Lucifer is better at physical stuff (spanking, whipping, flogging, etc.) than he is with verbal stuff, like degradation. Insulting his partner, even if consensually, just makes him feel bad, and he’d certainly never want someone to say that sort of stuff to him. Praise only with Lucifer. 

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Lucifer much prefers giving oral, and he’s very good at doing so. He loves, loves, loves watching you fall apart with nothing more than his tongue pleasuring you. It’s such a major turn on for him, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he came in his pants to nothing more than your taste on his tongue and your pretty noises echoing through the room. 

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Definitely more of the slow and sensual type. For one, he just thinks it’s more romantic versus a faster/rougher pace, and he’s often too worn out to be super fast or rough. However, there are occasions where he doesn’t mind getting a bit rougher. These times will often have to be planned out in advance so that the both of you can prepare and make sure y’all have enough energy. 

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He’s not the biggest fan of quickies. Lucifer prefers taking him time with sex and enjoying it for as long as possible, and quickies are the exact opposite of that. Every once in a while is fine, but he tries not to make them a habit. 

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Lucifer is a major experimentalist. He’s game for trying out anything at least once, as long as it’s safe, sane, and consensual. There are very few things he refuses to try outright, and he makes all of those boundaries very clear even before y’all start having sex. 

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

It really depends on the day for him. Most days, Lucifer can only go a couple of rounds because of how tired he is from work, but he’s still sure to make those rounds count. On days where he has less work, he can go quite a few rounds before tapping out. All demons have a naturally high stamina by default, so on a really good day, Lucifer can go for hours. 

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?

He doesn’t own too many toys, but he’s certainly not against them. Lucifer is the type to suggest the two of you go shopping for toys together as a date, and you can’t convince me otherwise. He enjoys using toys on both you and himself. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He’s a major tease, and he teases you any chance he gets. Lucifer is genuinely such a brat, and he knows it well. Especially in public, Lucifer can and will rile you up if he’s in a teasing mood that day. Of course, he is careful about getting caught in public, but he’s still going to take the risk. In private, he’s even worse, always trying to rile you up when he isn’t working. 

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Lucifer isn’t super loud normally, but when he gets overstimulated enough, he can make some noise. The more worked up he is, the louder he gets. 

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Unpopular opinion, but it’s always been my headcanon that Lucifer is actually one of the most inexperienced brothers, if not the most inexperienced. That’s not to say he’s never had sex before you, but he’s just always so busy juggling work, his brothers and Diavolo, and school, that he never seems to have much free time. And when he does have free time, he usually prefers to enjoy it by himself instead of going out and seeking a partner. 

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He’s pale-ish, toned, has a decent amount of muscle (but not too much). Lots of scars, especially on his back. A small bit of chest hair, but nothing too extreme. Also has quite a few beauty marks across his body. As for his dick size, he’s above average in length, and about average in girth. All demons are naturally bigger than humans, and that includes dick size, so what’s average to a demon is still above average to a human. 

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

About an average sex drive, maybe a bit lower. Work prevents him from dealing with his urges, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have them. Most of the time, he’s just good at keeping his urges under wraps until you and him are alone for a while. 

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

It takes him a bit to fall asleep after sex. Lucifer is the time to stay up after and bask in the afterglow. Plus, he’s also big on aftercare, so he likes to clean up and grabs a snack for the both of y’all before settling down again. But once he does fall asleep, he’s out until morning. 

[fourstarsoutofnine]

(Sorry i haven’t been active or updating a lot I know that’s a bad impression since I just got here but there is so much going on rn in my life😭 here’s this small thing for compensation)

Chain as Taylor Swift songs/albums(ft. Ravio and Malon)

Once again being self indulgent. More content that caters to myself bc apparently the creative juices only work for a small amount of time and only what provides serotonin to me currently. I’m out to break hearts so a ton of these will be sad. You’ve been warned.

｡･:*˚. • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ .☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ✧˖*°࿐ *ੈ✩‧₊˚ ˚➶

All of the chain:I think they all can identify with Innocent from Speak Now. I didn’t wanna keep adding it to each of theirs so here’s just an overarching statement that they’re all Innocent.

Time: never grow up. Like most, if not all, of the links, he had to grow up far too early and be what Hylia chose him to be—and I can hear him telling this to his future children:don’t grow up too fast. He had to and he never wants that for his baby. He wished he never had to grow up so fast, even if he had to save the world. Just because he had to doesn’t mean doesn’t mourn for his lost normal childhood. As for an album I think he’d be the fearless album.

Twilight:as an album he’s so evermore. I almost said debut but no no no. He’s evermore. Uhh as far as a song tho, idk I may be swayed by the fact it has the word cowboy in it, but I associate cowboy like me with twilight so heavily. Another song could be right where you left me if you squint and are delusional for MidLink.

Sky:HE IS SO LOVER! Both the song and the album! Omg! /shaking you by the shoulders/ this boy is so Lover ugh oh my gosh. Bright and beautiful and loving, accepting, kind while still having those notes of sadness, longing, and serious thoughts. The album Lover feels like a hug from a friend, and that’s what sky embodies.

Wind:can I interest you in The Best Day? Also You’re On Your Own, Kid. Also A Place In This World. He’s very much the younger taylor albums, like fearless. A good many of them read fearless to me and I couldn’t tell you why. For wind it’s because it seems like shiny and new and ready for what the world throws, but still a sense of hesitance.

Wild:Epiphany, This Is Me Trying, or Peace. He’s so folklore coded to me. The depictions of death and inability to save lives in epiphany, the heartbrokenness of this is me trying, one who’s making desperate attempts to be who they need them to be, and the sadness of Peace—cannot console and bring peace over the heart of someone who’s broken, but by Hylia if he isn’t gonna be there the entire time for the person.

Warriors:I think Change from Fearless. I also see him as Mirrorball, specifically because I feel like he puts up such a front and feels like he always has to stand tall and strong because of who he was as captain of the guard—but also since there’s so many young and impressionable men in the chain he feels like he has to be a good role model, especially for wind, and keep his head up about everything and make them smile and feel reassured when times are tough. As an album, probably Midnights. It feels like a start of something new and I think Wars embodies fresh beginnings—he just gives that vibe to me idk why. It might be because he left the scene of planning for wars to being out on his own adventure aside from what the army gives him.

Four:this one was hard. Four was really hard to pick for. Uhh—I think Seven maybe but I’m not sure. As for an album I feel like he’d be pretty Folklore as well. Could be just me projecting tho as if this whole thing isn’t. Four is so complex to me that it’s really hard to pin down. I chose Seven because it feels like a conversation between best friends. I’ve also seen that it’s meant to be listened to as someone speaking to their inner child to tell them everything is gonna be okay and that they’ll be together in the future and things are good now, and that interpretation gripped me by the throat and forced me to put this song for Four, so.

Hyrule:my dear sweet Hyrule and his imposter syndrome get anti-hero bc that’s the imposter syndrome anthem. He doesn’t feel like he’s a big hero, or even deserving of that title, so he feels a bit like a lost cause and that song is the perfect depiction of that. As an album, idk why but he’s reading very debut to me ?? I couldn’t tell you why, it’s just a vibe I get.

Legend:ohhhhhhhh my gosh. Okay. Get ready for this—I have So. Many. For him. Can you tell who’s been giving me brainrot recently? Anyway, first I’ll say his albums would be folklore and evermore. They’re so tragic to me and what is Legend if not a tragic, guarded little man(said with so much love, he’s my comfort character). As for songs, we’re Starting off strong with Labyrinth, then wildest dreams(cough) Then sad beautiful tragic, Cornelia street, anti-hero, i could go on. I won’t. We’d be here all day😭

Ravio:my tears ricochet. Idk I just thought of the idea that he gets stuck in Hyrule if dink is defeated and he can’t get back to Lorule so the part that goes “I can go anywhere I want, anywhere I want, just not home” hurts :)

Malon:WHOOH! Okay a happy one: Christmas tree farm and Fearless! And Malon is also such a fearless album girlie to me idk. Another song would be Superman. She loves her sweet hero husband and will always be there for him when he gets back <3

I hope you guys like this as much as I do😭 sorry if you don’t, I’ll get back to our regularly scheduled programming soon, it’s just been hard recently to do larger things. Sorry for everyone waiting on requests to be completed, I promise I haven’t forgotten you.

[amourology]

AFTERGLOW — levi ackerman

ʚ ɞ pairings: levi ackerman x strong!reader (you’re able to lift levi, just go with it—strong soldier over here, people).

ʚ ɞ synopsis: aftercare with tired, clingy and adorably needy sub!levi.

ʚ ɞ author’s note: this is purely self-indulgent. i just want to cradle his face in the palms of my hands and tell him everything’s alright :( just wanna take care of him and give him a kiss on the nose :(

ʚ ɞ warnings: light descriptions of sex, i use the word cock maybe once—it’s basically non-sugarcoated fluff, implied dom!reader, implied sub!levi, reader dotes heavily on levi bc he deserves it. oh, and—let’s pretend they have sinks & running water in paradis for a sec, okay?

ʚ ɞ word count: 2.8k. 

Levi Ackerman has always been pretty, always been so beautiful. With his pretty, plump and oh-so-kissable lips, and his pretty, silky-smooth dark hair, and his pretty, button-like nose—nevermind forgetting his pretty, blue-grey eyes carrying the winter season within them.

Yes—he’s always been utterly gorgeous. Still, you’d make quite a strong case arguing that him during the day wasn’t even close to him at his most beautiful. For he was prettiest whenever he laid in front of you like this.

On your shared duvet, with his head thrown back and his ink-black eyelashes fluttering while his chest heaved up, down, and up again. With his fingers twitching at his side, and with a few of his bangs sticking to his sweat-decorated forehead. With his legs opened, and his abdomen sticky with the mess he made of himself. And with one of his arms outstretched, hands grabbing around nothing as he beckons you to come closer.

“You did so good, Levi,” you coe at him. Abiding by his request, you adjust your position on the bed and crawl up towards him. When at his face, you delicately brush your fingers across his forehead—pushing aside the fallen strands of hair. “So good for me. Always so good.”

Your stomach flutters upon seeing him lean into your touch, relishing the words of praise as he always does. As if he has to make due with what you were willing to give him today, never knowing when he’ll earn them again. As if you won’t shower him in it whenever he so wishes.

“Thank you,” he croaks out. His head rests in-between the soft, whiite pillow beneath him and the even softer skin of your hand. “Felt really good.”

“Yeah?”

He nods against your hand, placing one of his own over your wrist to keep it in place. “Yeah,” he whispers. His voice gives out soon after; still a bit shrill after granting you all those pretty sounds.

“Hey.” You hum softly, bringing your face close to his. You nudge his nose with yours, withholding a smile. Levi scrunches his nose up after you place a kiss on it—a sight so adorable it made you wonder how people could ever fear him. “Want me to clean you up first? Or should I get something for you to drink?”

A tired sigh passes his lips; an indication he’ll sleep twice as well as he normally would in a night. “Clean,” he decides, because of course he does.

The predictable answer makes you chuckle. “Alright,” you say. You pretend not to notice the offended frown on his forehead as soon as you take your hand back. “I’ll be quick.”

You really are intending to hurry, knowing he doesn’t like to be alone for too long after such acts. And so, you rise from the bed—frowning when you don’t make it quite as far as you’d hoped. You turn back around, looking down at Levi who now holds a grip on your wrist. He pulls you back towards him.

“You okay?”

He looks up at you, cheeks still slightly damp from the tears he’d shed for you today; tears he allowed to flow after you kept bringing him to that edge over and over again, pushing him over it so many times until it started to hurt—until he couldn’t decide if he wanted you to stop or give him more, more and more. As always, he’d chosen for more. Only stopping when you’d milked him dry.

“Kiss,” he demands. “Gimme a kiss first.”

Your eyes soften. “Oh,” you breathe. No, you truly didn’t get why his subordinates were so scared of him. You smile, and start leaning down. “Come here, then.”

Levi hums contentedly when your lips finally engulf his. One of his hands reaches for the back of your head, keeping you in place for just a little bit longer—for just a second more of this feeling.

You chuckle against his lips, and one of your hands finds his cheek. “I’ll be back soon, Levi.” You tell him, caressing his cheekbone with your thumb.

His love-filled eyes wander around your face; first at your brows, then at the tip of your nose, then your lips, even your cheeks, until they finally find home within your eyes. “You promise?” He asks, voice no louder than a mumble.

You cup his jaw. “I promise,” you say, kissing his forehead.

He closes his eyes while you shower him with affection, enjoying it while it lasts, and sighing when you pull back. Knowing you have to leave eventually, Levi settles back down on the duvet. His eyes fall shut rather quickly, and for a short second it looks like he’s fallen asleep—though, you knew he was wide awake. He always waits for you to hold him before drifting off.

However—he seems quite tired, which means you’ll have to hurry. Quickly, you walk into his bathroom. You gather a washcloth and rinse it underneath some lukewarm water, walking back out and into the bedroom shortly after.

The bed shifts beside Levi, and he hazily opens one of his eyes to look. Once fully confirming it’s you, he closes it again. A soft groan escapes him, relishing in the way you so, so carefully and with such heavy affection, start cleaning him up.

Levi sighs quietly while you go to work, wiping all residue of his release away from his stomach, his thighs—he squirms a bit as you get closer to his cock, which makes you smile. He’s always so sensitive, so keen to your touch. Surely, it’s the most endearing thing you’ve ever seen.

Once you’re sure you’ve cleaned it all, you pull back. “There,” you mumble. One of your fingers starts delicately trailing upwards alongside his thigh.

Levi shakes his head. “M still dirty,” he says; you briefly wonder how much those words pained him to say.

You hum in acknowledgement, still focused on trailing your hand up his body. It goes along his stomach, making out the shape of his abs. He shivers underneath your touch.

“You want me to run you a bath?” You offer.

His eyes are fully open when your finger makes it up to his face, his line of sight fully locks on you while you start tracing the features on him.

“Please,” he says. His breath hitches in his throat as you glide your thumb over his bottom lip. “Would you?”

“You’re not too tired?” You ask, your index finger now finding its way towards the bridge of his nose. “‘Cause I’d hate to run a bath, only to drain it again right after.”

Levi frowns. “That was one time,” he grumbles. His nose scrunches up again after you lightly tap the tip. “”S hardly fair to hold it against me.”

“One time too many,” you muse. A smile settles on your face upon seeing his puffed out bottom lip, his eyebrow still pulled down into that frown and a slightly annoyed look in his eye. “I’m joking, love. I’ll go and get it ready for you.”

Again, he stops you from leaving. “Stop forgetting my kiss,” he complains. His fingers reach for yours and he pulls you towards him.

“I’d argue I’ve been kissing you all over tonight,” you mumble against his lips. You add another peck to them.

“‘S not enough,” he answers. This time, he allows the kiss to linger for a bit longer. When he pulls back, he looks you in the eye. “It’s never enough.”

“Well, aren’t you a little greedy thing, hm?” You hum, a slight smirk taking over your lips as you notice the tips of his ears and the apples of his cheek change in colour. “Suppose it’s a good thing I can never get enough of kissing you, then.”

“Yes,” he whispers, his peppermint-scented breath hitting your face. “I suppose it is.”

Levi sighs and lets you kiss his forehead again. The next time you stand up to run his bath, you’re met with less of a protest.

You gather the stuff you know he likes; making sure the water is absolutely scalding hot and smells of lavender and honey. When you deem it good enough, you go to get him. The sight you’re met with is enough to tilt your head to the side in amusement.

“Levi.”

He hums. “Just a minute.”

You’ve heard that one before.

The sheets crinkle underneath Levi’s figure, courtesy of you shifting him around on top of them. Once your arms are securely wrapped beneath him, you take a deep breath and lift him off the bed.

Never before were you so grateful for the ruthless training he puts you and the others through on the daily—if it allows you to carry him around in your arms like that, you’re quite confident you’d more than willingly participate in them. Perhaps even twice a day, if this would be your reward.

You stop walking once you make it to the tub. “Careful,” you say. “I’m gonna put you in, okay? It’s gonna be quite warm.”

He doesn’t move in your grasp. A mere “Okay.” Is all you get back.

Very carefully, afraid you might hurt him if you went too fast, you place him down into the newly-filled bathtub. Levi lets out a soft moan at the warmth surrounding him, allowing his arms to rest alongside the edges of the tub.

“Thank you,” he says quietly.

The sudden vulnerability in his voice catches you off-guard, but you’re thankful for it nonetheless—forever grateful he trusts you enough to show it to you.

“Of course,” you answer. “Tell me if you need anything, okay?”

Once again you turn around to leave, now planning on quickly changing the stained sheets in the other room. Knowing Levi, he doesn’t like sleeping on them after the both of you made such a mess on them.

“You.” He calls out quickly, this time succeeding in grabbing your hand instead of your wrist. He looks down at them, and intertwins his fingers with yours. “You, too.”

His voice sounds so perfect; such a balanced mix between scratchy, whiny and pleading. You cup his chin, cherishing the way he looks up at you. The liking towards his sound reminds you of the soreness he must feel.

“Here, drink something first.” You say, using one of the glasses next to the sink to gather some water for him.

Levi accepts the glass, fingers curling around it while he quickly brings it to his lips. Before you realise, he gulps it all down—then he hands it back to you.

“It’s fine,” he says. “My voice is fine.”

“Okay,” you said, slightly amused at his eagerness. You nod towards the space behind him. “Scoot over.”

He does as he’s told. You briefly take your eyes off him to place the now-empty glass back on the sink. Soon after, you take your place behind him. The water feels unbelievably hot on your skin and it takes you a few seconds to get used to. Once you do, you nudge Levi’s body backwards.

You adjust him in-between your legs, and he lets you. The biggest sigh of relief passes his lips while he lays his head to rest on your chest, eyes closing as he hides his face in the crook of your neck. A featherlight kiss gets pressed to the side of your throat. Trying to fight off your smile at the gesture seems to be futile.

Your fingers dance along the skin of his arms, the toned muscle and faded scars feeling rough beneath them. Slowly but surely you fall into a pattern, drawing soft circles on his bare skin. Your other hand cups the back of his head, tangling your fingers in his dark locks.

The both of you sit like that for a while. Only when you realise he’s well and truly falling asleep this time—in your hold—do you nudge him awake.

“Levi.”

“Hm?”

“I’m gonna wash your hair, okay? We’ve gotta get out and go to bed.”

Levi nods. It does take him a while, but he’s very well aware that he’ll have to sit up if you want to wash his hair—and so, he eventually succeeds in doing so. After a couple minutes, of course.

“There you go,” you mumble proudly.

As soon as he’s properly seated, you reach for the shampoo next to you. You slather your hands with it, rubbing your palms together to let it emulsify before you nestle your hands in his hair.

He tilts his head backwards, letting out a satisfied groan here-and-there whenever you scratch a particularly nice spot. Your fingers comb through the locks, massaging certain spots a bit longer whenever he lets out a slightly louder sound at the specific placement.

“There.” You say once you’re done.

Your arms wrap around him, one of your arms around his waist while the other crosses along his chest and with your hand resting on his collarbone. You pull him in closer and press a kiss to his shoulder blade, and then one to the back of his neck.

“Is it okay if you wash yourself off?” You ask, letting your chin rest on his shoulder. “I’ve got to change the sheets.”

Levi hums in agreement. Another kiss gets pressed to his cheek, and you immediately miss his warmth as soon as you stand up and hoist yourself out of the bathtub. You reach for a towel, tightly wrapping it around your body.

Just as you were to leave—you stop, and turn towards him. Crouching down, you cup his chin upwards to make him look at you. Then, you kiss him on the lips.

Levi huffs once you pull back. “You learn.”

“Seems like I do,” you answer, smiling. “I’ll get started on the bed, okay?”

He nods at you, allowing you to leave only after stealing another quick peck. You laugh at him, the laugh diminishing into a smile as you walk back into the adjoined bedroom.

After you’re dressed, you begin the task at hand. All current sheets are taken off the bed, discarded into the hamper in the corner. The linen cabinet is hoisted open, and the new, freshly-washed duvet covers the bed in a mere few minutes.

As soon as you’re finished, you feel a pair of arms wrapping around your waist from behind. Levi holds you against him for a while, then he kisses your shoulder.

“Thank you,” he whispers. “Thank you so much.”

Carefully, as not to scare him with sudden movements, you turn around in his hold. “There’s nothing you need to thank me for, Levi.” You tell him, both hands cupping his cheeks—they squish slightly against your palms as you hold his face. “If there’s anyone out there deserving of such treatment, it’s you.”

He exhales shakily, never looking away from your eyes. The love and admiration within them makes him feel more than fulfilled. “I’m—I’m not sure I believe that…” He trails off, clearing his throat. “But, still, thank you.”

You smile, the bridge of your nose softly bumping against his as you bring both your faces closer together. “You wanna go to sleep?”

“Please,” he says.

Before you, those were words he never thought he’d use to answer that question.

Levi didn’t like sleeping—couldn’t like sleeping, considering his insomnia never gave him the chance to enjoy it.

But on such nights as tonight, where you tire him out so good, where you crawl into bed with him and hold his head against your chest, where you wrap your arms around him so tightly as if you wish to protect him from all and everything bad out there—all while fully knowing he doesn’t need it but doing so, anyway.

…Yeah, Levi loves sleeping, then.

You do exactly that now, too, and he eagerly follows your guidance towards the bed. The very much welcomed smell of fresh linen hits him as soon as he lays down underneath the covers. And it’s as if he can’t reach out for you fast enough, arms outstretched and ever searching—until he feels yours wrap around him, one around his waist, the other on the back of his head.

Levi closes his eyes the second his head makes contact with your chest, the second he feels your slow-and-steady heartbeat rising beneath him. His figure curls into yours, and he smiles—and you do, too.

“Good night, Levi,” you whisper into his hair.

A kiss gets pressed to the crown of his head shortly after.

He nudges his nose against the base of your throat. Then, a soft, lingering kiss to your collarbone follows. “Good night,” he exhales.

At that moment, Levi falls asleep quicker than he ever has before.

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@beautyofthcdark @local-hrs​ @smol-book-nerd​ @instabull​ 

[literary-illuminati]

Book Review 10 - The World We Make by N. K. Jemisin

I’m generally a huge fan of Jemisin, so of course I had to read this as soon as I realized it existed, even if I really didn’t think The City We Became needed a sequel on pretty much any level. And yeah, it didn’t!

Like, I’ve already posted about my issues with this book extensively, so will try to keep this relatively succinct. But broadly – there were about twice as many POVs as the wordcount could actually support with their own subplots, Ry’leh and her minions had all the threat and grandeur of a Saturday morning cartoon villain, the broader metaphysics/plot didn’t actually much sense at all , basically every actual problem the characters had was resolved as soon as they actually tried, and, generally, the book’s highest aim really seemed to be more engaging in some cathartic effigy-burning of various political analogues than it did really telling any sort of coherent story.

The book has virtues – the sentence to sentence prose is very good when it doesn’t read like a DNC campaign mailer, and the characters who actually get screen time and internal conflicts are all very compelling (somewhat unfortunate that half of them are the villains). But just – it’s impossible to really feel like you’re rooting for the underdogs when the protagonists start the book in a commanding position with everything they need to win and nothing that happens over the course of the entire story actually puts them on the back foot for a couple of hours? Or I mean, I tell a lie, technically the entire book is a race against the clock of impending universal extinction, as caused by...Fox News and right-wing twitter running a bunch of anti-New York smear campaigns? Which was just so obviously arbitrary and driven by the needs of plot it was impossible to take seriously.

Just, generally, there is a real upper limit to how far you can stretch ‘the divine avatars of quite possibly the richest and most politically powerful metropolis in the world fight proud boys and a no-hope Trump wannabe running for Mayor’ into something that compelling. The literal global capital of financial capitalism, not an easy sell as ‘scrappy underdog’! Especially when the dominant tone used to talk about any of the human opposition is just sneering contempt. Which I mean, very true to life, but doesn’t do a great job establishing a sense of threat. Especially when the sneering contempt is just entirely justified, and every action on the part of the enemy basically just happens to allow one of the avatars to do an incredibly self-indulgent New York-themed bit of magic, probably humiliating an obvious analogue for some prominent right wing figure or archetype (trucker convoy, proud boys, etc) in the process. It’s just, so incredibly cheesy. At one point a city councilwoman is revealed to be a friendly acquaintance with Beyonce and able to call her in to help with her mayoral campaign. Wretched of the earth these are not.

But okay, to try and make this a bit more analytical and a bit less me ranting – I really don’t think the book’s conception of the soul or character of New York really coheres? It’s New York, but, like, the nostalgic fantasy of pre-Guliani New York mixed with the parts of it that modern progressives take pride in. At no point does the book explain in any even close to satisfactory way why the transparent Trump analogue winning would be more spiritually damaging than Bloomberg (or hell, Moses) was – we’re just supposed to take it as read that being the beating heart of progressive America is at the soul of what it means to be New York.

On a similar note – there’s a real ambiguity to what Ry’leh is supposed to, like, be, thematically? Or I mean, not really. She’s gentrification, not necessarily in the social displacement sense (but that too) as in the way that every central business district in every major city in the world increasingly looks the same, in the way that identical chain stores replace local small businesses, the tendency of modern capitalist development to erode the difference between places until a city is a city is a city, no matter what continent you’re on. Local restaurants bought out by numbered holding companies or international franchises and getting their menus and recipes from a focus group in California. Which is a great, meaty association for your villain! But, like, isn’t especially well served by also being specifically alt-right and Trumpist American right-wing politics (very, very much not the same thing!). And as soon as we get into what she and the Ur actually want everything just kind of stops making sense entirely. (She’s also just so, like, cartoonishly evil and constantly talking about wanting to end the world and make things worse that it’s impossible to take seriously and she just ends up one of the most endearing characters in the entire story.)

Anyway, yeah, Neek and Manny and Ry’leh and Aislyn were all great, but otherwise The City We Became really didn’t need a sequel.

[ladyswillmart]

Now that I'm on the subject of Writing That I've Done And Need To Archive On My Website, I think the best writing I've done recently is probably that Soul Blazer short fic, followed by the Hivallion/LotRO shorts which I actually went back and read recently and I was like "Oh, these are so cute".

I don't know why but I find LotR a little intimidating as a... Thing To Write In so I never really attempted anything that might resemble a more formal kind of fic. 🤔 I don't know if I ever will? Maybe? If I can ever get over the feeling that I'm taking a dump in Tolkien's church, maybe LOL

The Ultima 7/Serpent Isle fics I did more recently were okay. Like they're... fine! I don't hate them. I even like them a little. They're not grrrrrrrrrreat but not like anything that makes me want to vaporize everything I've ever written out of pure shame. I think with "Meadowtron" I was trying to create a kind of worldbuilding framework in which I could do like a little character ensemble series. I know not many people are familiar with Ultima anymore so I really wanted to make something that my friends could enjoy reading even if they haven't played the game. Along those lines, I created an introduction that elaborates on the setting I was going for: Basically, it's a postgame, semi-Fix-It AU comedy that sees the survivors of our bogus journey trying to scratch out a living in Moonshade. Rather than focusing on the Avatar and her companions, this story would flesh out the less-developed NPCs of Serpent Isle. I still really want to make this a reality and do at least ONE story in this setting (I have one outlined in full), but over the past few months I've kinda psyched myself out of writing fics completely so I'll need to find a way to trick my idiot albatross brain into starting it. 🤪 Maybe I'll make the main characters in Hero Forge, that might get the ball rolling (or not, but hey, it'll be fun so)...

I guess when I think of "purely self-indulgent fun" I immediately think of Ultima. Old old old habits never die I guess.

I think out of all the fandoms I've been in, FF14 was probably the most frustrating in terms of lost potential. Specifically, writing Nero fics—I started and abandoned SO MANY FICS. I had a lot of ideas that just never came to fruition, maybe because I had too many ideas and got overwhelmed, or because the ideas themselves were all half-baked anyway. I'm thinking it was some accursed combination of the two; the fact that I finished (and published!) anything at all is a GD miracle.

The Secret World was so much fun. I think it's the first and maybe only fandom I've been in where I actually felt like a part of the fandom, and like not some leering dork on the sidelines making unwanted commentary. I'll always treasure the time I had and the friends I made there. I'm not 100% sure yet how I'm going to organize my loose and chaotic collection of Secret World stuff on my website but I'll have to think of something.

Ah yes, I did write a few Dragon Age fics too! Inquisitor Arlen was so so funny. I'm not sure where I have these stories saved but if I can find them, I'll make a space for them on the website too. Same for Elder Scrolls I guess?? That's going pretty far back but I'm sure this stuff still exists somewhere, even if it's just in some weirdly named text file.

Yes, anything that's on my AO3 will go on the website, including the Portal stuff eventually though I am not looking forward to having to reformat/repost all those fics again LOL Well, at least I have the markup this time...