#okay i may have slept a few hours but i am not well i am apparently still very very unwell

[scottstiles]

i just need to know like. why and what is the reason and wherefore are we just deciding to kill off perfectly fine and capable and young middle aged characters with their entire fucking half a life ahead of them when they FINALLY step back from the life that should have killed them but didn’t like WHY CAN’T THEY JUST RETIRE AND TAKE THEIR KIDS FISHING AND HAVE BIRTHDAY PARTIES AND A WIFEHUSBAND TO KISS IN THE MORNING AND MAYBE SOME PIE FOR SUPPER ONCE IN AWHILE ITS NOT THAT DEEP

I SAID DONT PUT YOUR FUCKING SHIP ON THIS POST ISTG

[wutheringcaterpillar]

Remember That Night? Chapter 1/4

Summary: What happens when your boss whom your head over heels for calls you in the middle of the night to go for a drive and things go further than they should? Will they make it work or will it end in tragic heartache?

warnings: boss/employee relationship, nostalgia, deep descriptions of heartbreak

italicized is past tense.

The case files spread out across your desk were all mixing together in a blur. It felt like there was no end to it and this was the one you thought was gonna stick with you. The rest of the team had left except for Aaron. He was sitting in his own office looking for anything that could stand out exactly like you were.

Glancing up you saw his eyes scanning the papers intently with one hand resting on his forehead. In your heart you missed the bond that you shared with him deeply but the chances of anything happening again were close to zero and it made your heart ache to think that he’d never be yours.

A few months after Haley passed Aaron was having a night just like the one you’re having now and he needed closure. The night still replayed in your mind at moments like this but you’re okay now. It had been five months since the two of you cut whatever connection you had romantically off. You’ve moved on and entered the dating world, it was for the better. Closing the case files you began to put them back in order and erase the case from your mind for the night. Right when you were about ready to get up and head out Aaron approached you at your desk and sat down in a chair across from you. “It’s late. Every one else went home hours ago. Everything okay?” His intent gaze stared deep into your eyes but you didn’t allow yourself to get lost in him. “Yeah, I just don’t understand how some people can be so cruel. I think this is the one that’s gonna stick with me and it worries me but, I know I need to get home and get rest.”

“Y/N, you know I’m always here if you need to talk or vent.” You nodded in response. The two of you sat in silence for a moment, you couldn’t help but see him twiddle his thumbs a bit, it looked as if he was in deep thought, his eyebrows were knitted together like they always were when he was like this. “What about you? Are you okay? Everything going well with Beth?” He stopped all movement and his eyes connected with yours once more. “Can I ask you something?”

“I’m an open book ask away.” He shifted in his chair, leaning forward a bit. “Do you remember that night? The first night?” All of a sudden the memory came flooding back like hurricane.

The night was beautiful out, a clear sky, twinkling stars, streetlights lit up the roads just outside of your apartment. The vacation you were currently on from work was much needed, thoughts of Aaron filled your mind at times. You couldn’t imagine how he was coping, being a single father, going to sleep in a bed without his wife. It had to have been difficult, you knew the crush you had on him was silly and that it would never go anywhere but you couldn’t help the feelings you had for this man. 

Settling down onto your couch you turned on the television to catch up on one of your favorite shows, avoiding the news at all costs you wanted all crime to be out of your head for your entire week off. Cracking open a beer you grabbed a blanket and settled it over your legs. About halfway into the episode your phone rang causing a groan to escape your lips but your heart fluttered when you saw it was Aaron. What could he possibly need it was 2:30 am. “Hello?” 

“Hi. I’m sorry to be calling you this late I hope I didn’t wake you.” When he spoke he sounded like he hadn’t slept yet and that he may have been having a bad night. “No, you’re okay. Is everything alright?” 

“Y/N I just really need someone right now. I hate to bother you on your vacation but would you like to go for a drive? If you’re too tired I understand.” You couldn’t help but respond as quickly as you did, this is the moment you had been waiting for. “I’m all for it. What’d you have in mind?” You couldn’t see it but Aaron was smiling on the other end of the phone. “I know a place.” 

For the fifteen minutes it took him to get there you didn’t want to get too dressed up, it was the middle of the night after all. You left your sweats on but changed into a snug fitted shirt before brushing your hair and throwing on a pair of tennis shoes. Water was splattered on the bathroom sink from you washing your face and brushing your teeth to disintegrate the alcohol smell on your tongue. When you heard the knock on your door your heart skipped a beat. Glancing at yourself one last time in the mirror a big bright excited smile took over your flushed face. Your mind guessing where he would take you as you walked to answer the door. 

On the other side Aaron stood there also dressed in sweats and a t-shirt he looked absolutely breathtaking even out of his suit. His hair was slightly disheveled and when he spoke “Hello” to you the small dimples next to his lips formed from a smile. Aside from that you were completely locked in and lost in his eyes, he was really here. “So are you ready?” You nodded in response and he moved out of your way to excuse you into the hallway. “So where are we going?” 

“It’s a surprise.” 

Once outside he opened your car door for you like a gentleman before getting into his own side. The way his hands curled over the steering wheel and his veins popped out sent so many thoughts swirling in your mind. The car ride was filled with endless conversation, mostly him asking about your vacation and you asking how the team has been doing but neither of you talked about any cases past or present. It was nice. 

He maneuvered his car into a parking lot, there was a hill toward the top of it, looking like it would be overlooking something. 

Once out of the car the wind blew slightly causing leaves to flutter around, he noticed you cross your arms together. “Are you cold? I have an extra jacket in the car if you’d like it. I keep it in there for Jack because he tends to cold with how much I use the air conditioning.” A small chuckle escaped your lips. “No, it’s okay, it feels-“ Before you could finish your sentence he was opening the back car door and pulling out one of his gray zip up hoodies. “I insist.” As if you weren’t trying to hide your blushing cheeks enough they surely came out now. 

Putting on the jacket, Aaron stood by your side as you walked up the small hill. When you reached the top there was a single bench looking over a sea of water. “I know it’s not much but this is where I tend to go when I need to think.” 

“Aaron this is- this is beautiful.” 

“I’m glad you agree.” He patted the bench, motioning for you to sit with him. The both of you sat in silence for a few moments just listening to the waves hitting the shoreline and the breeze causing leaves to fall from the tree and dance in the surrounding area. Small clouds were starting to roll over in the sky. In that moment you felt Aaron’s arm slide behind you, pulling you in a bit closer to him, his hand resting on your upper arm. As close as you were, you wanted to be closer, wanted to be snuggling with him but you didn’t put any pressure on it and just took the moment in to yourself, thankful that this was happening. “So is Jack with Jess tonight?” Aaron nodded in response. 

“He is. Had the house to myself was feeling lonely and even though it’s been a month since Haley has passed it still manages to bother me at times like tonight. I’m really glad you came with me.” He looked over his shoulder at you taking in your beauty and you did the same taking in how handsome he was. “Me too.” The two of you gazed into each others eyes searching for someone to make a move, you both leaned in simultaneously and your lips smashed together in an electrifying kiss. His lips were extremely soft, tasting of mint and had taken your breath away. Neither of your eyes had opened during the kiss. His free hand rested gently against your cheek deepening the kiss. At that moment little sprinkles landed on the top of your head but neither of you had a care in the world. When the kiss finally broke a part of the strong feelings you had for him came out. “Would you maybe want to stay with me tonight at my place?” His eyes glistened in the rain. “I’d love nothing more.” 

The night consisted of gentle spontaneous love making and you fell asleep in the arms of the man you had loved for so long more than anything, it was perfect.

He knew he had hit a nerve with your blank expression, but some part of him was just curious if you ever thought about it? “I um- I do but I try not to. No offense. It’s just I finally have moved past us and the future is looking great for me but Aaron you know I still-“

“I know, you don’t have to say it.” He spoke so gently and his face was of pure care and solidity. “I still do too.” His hand rested on yours for a few seconds as you both just sat in each others company. There was something about him that still had a hold of you, a place in your heart and just when you think you could replace it you have a moment like this with him. Every thing in you wanted to quit on the spot just so you could have him but you knew in your head that things don’t work out like that. He got up from his chair and offered to follow you home to ensure you make it there safely but you politely declined. That was when your phone rang. “Hi- Yeah I’m headed home I’ll be there in a bit- I miss you too- Okay- Bye.” Aaron wanted to ask who it was but he had no right to and he knew that so he let it be. “I will see you in the morning then?” You nodded before bidding each other goodbye once again. It shouldn’t but it felt like the first time, like you lost him again.

Arriving home you threw your keys onto the table and kissed your boyfriend whom was staying for the night he noticed the pained look on your face, the sadness that filled it. “Every thing okay babe? What’s wrong?” He took you into his arms as you cried, letting every thing out. You couldn’t love someone else the way you loved Aaron, this unexplainable connection you shared with him killed you after moments the two of you shared like tonight. If he had never brought up that night you would have been fine, but he did and here you were crying over Aaron Hotchner once again, just as you were getting back to life without him in it. You ended up telling your boyfriend it was the case you were on which wasn’t fair by any means, but as he drifted into sleep next to you, you couldn’t help but look at him and get upset. He wasn’t Aaron. No one was. That was when the night he broke it off entered into your mind.

“Y/N I’m your boss and we’re getting too close. I think it’s better that this is the last night we share together in this way. We need to stop.” It felt like a tidal of waves crashed into your heart and completely shattered it. All happiness in your face disappeared. This was the last thing you expected to happen tonight. 

You sulked in your seat, tracing your thumb around the salted rim of your glass. His eyes searched your facial expression, being a profiler you knew he was reading you like a book. His hand moved a strand of hair from your face, placing it behind your ear. “Please don’t be upset. We’ll still be close, and see each other at work but I think that’s where it should stay.” A scoff escaped your lips, shaking your head you grabbed your glass and finished off the remaining alcohol before aggressively setting it back down. 

“Yeah, well not as close as I’d like.” 

“ Y/N-“ 

“Just don’t.” When you stood up out of your chair you fell back a bit and the grip of Aaron’s hand was on your arm gently right away. “At least let me drive you home you can’t drive like this.” Putting your hand up you dismissed him completely. “I’m fine. I’ll see you in the morning, boss.” Walking out of the restaurant the rain poured as if it knew how you were feeling. As soon as you were out the door away from him the tears flooded out as you walked to your car. How could he do this to you? All the dates, the phone calls, the photos, they were completely meaningless. You read him all wrong, this situation all wrong. You were head over heels in love with Aaron and you thought he felt the same. Reaching into your purse you retrieved the first keychain he had bought you, and threw it into a bush by the entrance. You wanted anything and everything that reminded you of him gone. The car ride home felt like it was never ending. The rain made it difficult to see and the only songs on the radio were depressing love songs about heartache. Walking into your apartment you tossed your keys onto the table before turning on the lights and setting the alarm. 

Making your way into your bedroom you glanced around the room, you thought to yourself how your never going to be graced with Aaron’s face or presence in it ever again. Falling into your bed you clutched your pillow tightly tears flowing out like an ocean while his side of the bed lay empty. A hole in your heart is all that you felt, you couldn’t even imagine having to see him at work tomorrow. You could just see yourself excusing yourself to go cry somewhere. You really thought he could be the one but all hope of that had vanished. The next morning your tear stained face made you look a mess your clothes were disheveled, hair a mess but you couldn’t find a care in the world. You wanted to walk into work and make him see what he did to you. The buzzing of your phone dragged you out of your thoughts. A voicemail notification from Aaron popped up. As much as your head told you not to listen to it your heart spoke differently. “Hi, I wanted to make sure you got home safely and that you’re doing okay. If you could let me know that’d be great but if not I’ll see you at work. I truly hope there’s no hard feelings Y/N. Well I guess that’s all goodbye.” How dare he, no hard feelings? Does he not realize how much he broke you? You wanted to throw your phone and cry again but you decided to keep yourself composed and get ready for work and head in. Of course Aaron ended up calling in because Jack got sick, and he did text you about it but you reluctantly responded with, “I don’t think we should text or call anymore about anything personal. Strictly work.” He hadn’t responded for hours and the day completely dragged out you couldn’t focus and the team took notice especially Emily and Spencer because they were the closest to you but you didn’t tell them anything about your situation just that you were having a bad day. They were understanding and said they would be there whenever you’re ready to talk about it. When you went home for the night digging for clean clothes you found one of Aaron’s work shirts in your hamper, it must have been the only one not washed because it still smelled exactly like him. As much as your head told you not to put it on your heart spoke differently. As soon as you slipped it on the tears began again and you just spent the night in your apartment alone, sulking, listening to sad music, watching sad movies, cooking dinner for one, yourself. Things were different and you hated it, your body hated it, and you barely knew how to function mentally, physically, and emotionally. Was there ever going to be an end to this pain?

Little did you know Aaron did follow you home to make sure you got there safely, you didn’t put any thought into the car following you because all your thoughts were about Aaron. He watched and made sure you got in the door but to his surprise a man opened the door and he was ready to get out of his car to come protect you until he stopped with his door halfway opened as he saw you kiss the man. You had moved on, but you were unaware of the fact that Aaron had gotten the papers for his two weeks and had broken up with Beth a week ago. That’s why he never answered how she was earlier because he hadn’t been talking to her. He couldn’t be upset but he was and it was completely selfish. So against his will he drove home, to an empty apartment like before and went to sleep in an empty bed, holding onto the memory of you being next to him as he cried and held onto a shirt you left at his apartment that he couldn’t bring himself to get rid of.

[bluehoodiewoozi]

Dreamers

Lee Seokmin (DK) x fem!reader

Genre: mostly fluff, with a hint of anxiety

Word Count: 10.9k

Wanings: food mentions. adult language. a few parts may come off as suggestive, but not really. y/n is an environmentalist but not vegan.

[Series: Serenity Street 17] Sleepwalking is a nasty issue. You find yourself in the correct building but wrong apartment, sharing a room with a ridiculously cute boy who seems to find it amusing.

Note: This one goes out to all of my ambitious girlies! Keep working towards your dreams!

The moment you stepped onto the evening bus you regretted the decision. 

With a bright smile, Sunny greeted you, rushing to move her bags into her lap so you could take the seat next to her, all while never once taking her eyes off you. Her brows rose in a questioning manner. You cursed under your breath as your neighbour’s usual warm smile morphed into a look of disbelief when you sank into the seat next to her.

With a sigh, you raised a hand to silence her. “I know.”

But she didn’t take the hint. “When was the last time you slept? Did you sleep at all last night?”

“Why do you keep asking questions you already know the answer to?” you whined and hugged your bag close to your chest. “I’m sure you heard me showering at 3 am.”

“The bags under your eyes aren’t supposed to make it look like you have a black eye,” she told you as if she hadn’t heard you at all, still eyeing you in worry. “How much did you sleep? You look worse than Jeonghan when he thought I was mad at him.”

“Does it matter?” You huffed. “At least I’m getting some rest.” 

“I think it only counts as rest if you actually get 8 hours of sleep every once in a while,” she countered with a snicker, “which, by the looks of it,” she gave you a once-over, followed by a disappointed a sigh, “you haven’t had in years.”

“I sleep just fine. I’m healthy, I am productive,” you defended and tightened your hold on your bag. “Sleep is for the weak anyway.”

Sunny rolled her eyes. “Sometimes I wonder how you’re friends with me but not Jihoon. Your mentality is almost identical.”

“Listen, somebody has to do the work. And unlike some, I’d actually like my work to amount to something bigger than an average paycheck that barely covers my bills. I have ambitions. I want to make the world a better place.”

“Honey, at this rate you’re not gonna live long enough to see your ambitions come to life,” she grumbled under her breath and linked your arms. “It’s okay to rest every once in a while. Take a week off from work and actually just do something fun for a change.”

You grimaced. “I’d rather not. Messes with my groove.”

Sunny had no words left to say. She stared at you with a wide mouth for a moment before sputtering, “How– How are we friends?”

“Fate brought us together so you could nag me at all possible hours,” you joked, looking out the window now to avoid missing your stop. “But seriously, I don’t need to rest. I love my job and my colleagues and I’m making a change.”

“You should at least go to sleep early tonight.”

“Can’t. I have a big report due next week and I don’t want to miss my deadlines.”

Her gaze hardened immediately as she cursed, “Why, you little–”

“Hey!”

“I’m just worried about you,” she mumbled through a pout just as your bus arrived at your shared destination. With a begrudging sigh, she unlinked your arms and gave you an encouraging pat on the shoulder as the two of you stood up and walked over to the door “Well, I guess it’s your life. But I swear–” she pointed at your face, eyes squinted in a glare; she interrupted herself mid-sentence, “no, I vow that if you collapse under the stress, I’ll personally go and hand in a letter of resignation in your name.”

You scoffed at her empty promises, smiled, and stepped off the bus. You had no doubt you would be just fine and she was overreacting over nothing. She couldn’t wrap her mind around your work ethic and goals – she was built of an entirely different wood.

Then again, you couldn’t deny you often felt a little jealous of her. The nagging feeling hit once again when you looked up to find Jeonghan standing at the gate of your building, his smile widening the closer Sunny and you got to him. You envied that she had found – through trials and tribulations, you’d admit – a perfect man to brighten her days while you had no time to even contemplate romance.

“How was your day, my beautiful lady?” Jeonghan greeted your neighbour with a sweet kiss on her forehead before taking her bag and leading her inside with a hand on her back. He didn’t forget to offer you a welcoming smile and a friendly “good evening” as well, both of which you returned.

“Are you going to the 5th floor tonight?” you asked them as the three of you trudged up the stairs and they made no effort to walk to her apartment. 

Sunny nodded. “It’s movie night and he has the bigger TV.”

Jeonghan let out a loud ‘ha!’ and grinned at her victoriously. “So you admit it. My TV’s better than yours!”

“That’s–” She sighed deeply. “That is not the point right now–”

“How is it not?”

Unable to continue watching their lovers’ quarrel, you hummed and waved them goodbye before promptly unlocking your apartment, walking in, and quickly locking it again as if their bickering or cheesy nicknames could otherwise follow after you. 

You had far more important things to do, after all. 

With a tired sigh, you warmed up some of last night’s leftovers and opened your laptop. The familiar Times New Roman font on your screen prompted a soft groan, but still you squared your shoulders and got to work. 

If you were quick, you’d get this done way before the deadline. Maybe you could even go to work in the morning with a nearly finished report! You smiled at the thought. 

But life doesn’t always go as expected. 

You thought you were old enough to know this fact already. After all, when had life ever followed your expectations? It seemed to enjoy throwing curve balls right at your head.

You woke up with a splitting headache at 7 am, an hour before your usual alarm. It was strange – you concluded so as you stared at the time on your phone through a squint. With a soft huff, you let the phone drop back onto the mattress and your head onto the pillows.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” you then heard a voice.

Your eyes snapped open. There was someone in your room. 

The voice sounded apologetic as it continued in a whisper, “It’s okay. I didn’t mean to make any noise. Sorry. Let me just get my shirt and–”

You sat up abruptly to stare at the intruder – a handsome familiar-looking man shuffled around the walk-in closet. Worst of all – he was shirtless. You dreaded to think of what had happened the night before.

“Who– Who are you?” you stuttered out, instinctively lifting the blanket higher against your torso despite the fact that you were fully clothed. “Why are you in my apart–” 

Then it hit you. The worst of the worst realities. 

“Holy shit, this isn’t my apartment!” you screamed and jumped out of bed to apologise profusely. “I’m so so sorry! I had no idea! I don’t how–”

“Hey, hey!” The man – now wearing a crispy white button-up shirt – walked out of the closet hurriedly, a worried smile on his face as he rushed to comfort you with a gentle hand on your back, leading you to sit back on the bed. “It’s okay.” He let out a laugh. “I was going to let you sleep for a while more. It’s okay.”

You had no clue how he could be so calm about this. What the hell happened last night?!

You stuttered. You sputtered. You gasped for air like a fish out of the water. You were on the verge of a panic attack at 7 am in the morning and he was smiling, all while patting and rubbing your back like it was the most natural thing. 

“Why am I here?” you eventually managed to breathe out. You hated to admit that his calm and friendly nature was helping you adjust to the situation.

He raised a brow, his soothing movements stopping. “I was hoping you could answer that.” 

When you made no move to do so and only offered him a puzzled look, he shrugged. “I woke up to someone trying to unlock my door at 2 am. Almost cried, actually, but then I heard a knock and Mingyu telling me to open the door, so I did and you…” He gestured widely to his room. “Well, you came in and went straight to bed as if it was your own home. I didn’t know what to do but Mingyu and I figured you needed to rest.”

You stared at him with a dropped jaw. “You didn’t think to call the police?”

“Well,” he grimaced, “I was going to but you really looked like you needed to sleep.” He gave you a worried look, inspecting your face. “You still do, actually. Do you sleep at all, like, outside of my bed?”

“I sleep plenty,” you scoffed and got out of the bed, wiping your face with your sleeves as if to rid it of any evidence that might suggest otherwise. With an awkward look, you bowed and began heading out. “Well, thank you for… your hospitality. I’ll get going. I’m sorry for bothering you. This won’t happen again.”

Before he could say another word, you slammed the door shut behind you and began heading… where were you heading?

You looked around the hallway. It was still your building. You could recognise these hallways even in your sleep. A quick glance informed you that you had just stepped out of apartment 1D – the apartment directly below yours.

You groaned as the realisation sank in that you could never visit the first floor without feeling awkward again. With a sigh, you headed up the stairs to your own apartment.

“Isn’t that Seokmin’s apartment?” Sunny pointed out when you told her of your horrible adventure on the bus home from work later that day. She frowned a little as she tried to recall exactly who lived there. 

“Whoever it was, at least it wasn’t Jihoon.” You shuttered to even think about it.

Sunny grimaced. “Yeah, I’d be bailing you both out of jail right about now.” She then shrugged. “Yeah, I think that’s Seokmin’s apartment. He really just let you stay the night there?”

“Apparently?” You wanted to laugh at the insanity of the situation. “I have no recollection of what happened or how I ended up there. The last thing I remember is working on my report in my kitchen and then waking up in a shirtless man’s apartment.”

“Shirt–” She almost broke her neck at the speed she turned her head to look at you with wide eyes. “He was shirtless when you woke up?!”

“He was getting dressed for work–”

“Well, is he hot?!”

You had never wanted to throw someone out of a moving vehicle so much before. “Is this what you’re focusing on right now? I’m going through a crisis here!”

“Yeah but–”

“You literally have a boyfriend!”

“Yeah, but–” She paused mid-excuse and nodded her head in acknowledgement. “Right. You have a point there.”

“How did I possibly end up in his apartment at night without remembering it?” you contemplated, leaning your head back against the seat. “I can’t think of a single explanation.”

“It is weird,” Sunny hummed in agreement as the bus rolled to your stop. The two of you got off. 

“Where’s Jeonghan?” you wondered in surprise upon not seeing him all the way up to the second floor.

Sunny shrugged, still deep in thought about your predicament. “I don’t know. Probably causing trouble with Junhui again. Possibly getting on Joshua’s or Hyesoo’s nerves. Maybe he stole someone’s mail or took the hinges off someone’s door. Not my problem.”

You could only stare at her in absolute wonder. “He’s your boyfriend.”

“He’s his own person.” She then clapped her hands together in revelation, stopping in her steps in the middle of the hallway. “Didn’t you say you used to sleep-walk as a kid? I swear you mentioned it over coffee once.”

You nodded. “Yeah, but it hasn’t happened in a literal decade.”

“Who’s to say it didn’t happen again last night?” she suggested with a shrug. “By the way, do you wanna come over for coffee and cake? Jeonghan bought one on sale because the expiration date is today, but it’s sort of giant.”

After contemplating for a moment (more of a debate really, won by the grumbling of your stomach), you agreed and followed her into her apartment. 

As the two of you walked into the kitchen, she continued, “All I’m saying is that there’s a lot going on in your life right now and maybe it all worked together – the stress, the lack of sleep, you get the gist – and now you’re sleepwalking again.”

“I sincerely doubt it.”

“You should see a doctor about that,” Jeonghan suggested. You jumped in your spot before finding him sitting at the dining table, fully focused on assembling a lego set. He continued without a care in the world, “Sleepwalking can be a serious issue.”

Your eyes narrowed. “Why are you here?”

He finally glanced up to offer you an amused look and a chuckle. “I’m her boyfriend. Where else would I be?”

“I invited her over for coffee and cake,” Sunny informed him with a kiss on his cheek. “Play nice.”

“Yes, princess,” he spoke in reply before turning back to you. “But I would really go to the doctor if I was you. If it’s bad enough that you wake up in someone else’s apartment, it’s bad enough to warrant a doctor’s visit.”

You felt yourself pale, your blood running both ice cold and lava hot. “How– Why do you know that?”

“It’s the talk of the town,” he joked before waving his joke off. “Just kidding. I met Seokmin on my way to the store earlier and he told me. He seemed worried about you.”

“So it is Seokmin!” Sunny cheered victoriously. “I knew it! I told you!”

Jeonghan raised an eyebrow and laughed. “Good job.”

“Thanks.”

You sat down at the table and slumped in the chair. “But if I’m sleepwalking, why did I go to his apartment?”

“Isn’t it right below yours?” Jeonghan pointed out like it was obvious. “Asleep you probably thought you were going to your own apartment. You just mixed up the floors.”

“So,” you sighed and rubbed the bridge of your nose before meeting his eyes and maintaining eye contact, “what you’re suggesting is that I fell asleep–”

“Yes.”

“–in my apartment–”

“Mhm.”

“–then left my apartment for some reason–”

“That much seems obvious.”

“–and then went to Seokmin’s apartment–”

“For some reason, yes.”

“–one level below my own?”

Eyes widening, he hummed at the slight error in the logic. “You do have a point. Why would you leave your own apartment to go to your apartment?”

“My head hurts just listening to this,” Sunny informed the two of you while serving the cake. As a slice fell over on a plate she quickly assigned to Jeonghan, she suddenly suggested, “What if you thought you were going on a walk and then returned home?”

Jeonghan leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest as he began recounting, “So, what you think happened is that she fell asleep–”

“I’m going to kick the both of you out if you start again,” his girlfriend declared all of a sudden, pointing a knife in his direction. “I’m serious.”

“It is a reasonable guess though,” you decided as Sunny placed a plate of cake in front of you. “I do love going on walks when I’m stressed.”

“Then–”

A knock on the door interrupted the conversation. You watched in mild amusement as Sunny and Jeonghan silently argued over who should open the door and if they should open the door at all. Eventually, to your surprise, Jeonghan relented and got up with a slight groan. The moment he was out of the kitchen, Sunny stole his seat across from you.

“I think the worst part is that I don’t know how to face him again, like ever,” you started the conversation again while taking a bite of the cake. “It was so awkward.”

“Speaking of awkward,” Jeonghan announced and led the newest guest into the apartment. The now familiar feeling of both ice and lava in your veins made a new appearance as you recognised the visitor. Your spoon dropped back on the table.

Seokmin offered you a friendly smile and a wave. “Ah, so that’s where you are. I tried your door but no one answered so I wondered if I had the wrong place.”

“You–” That was the only syllable you managed to voice. Your brain was scattered, filled with pictures of the awkward morning as well as a single fluttering butterfly carrying an obnoxious sign that said ‘he cares’. You gulped. 

Thankfully, Sunny stepped in. She smiled brightly and ushered Seokmin to take a seat while she found an extra plate. 

“I wasn’t going to come and bother anyone–” he tried to reject the offer of cake, but failed to. He was too friendly for his own good – just like the rumours around the building often said. He sat in the seat Sunny had preoccupied just seconds ago, right across from you, and smiled at her. “Well, if you insist.”

“What can I do?” Jeonghan sighed and theatrically looked away as he started his monologue. “Everyone loves my girlfriend so much. How can I possibly keep her–”

“Stop being melodramatic and come eat, idiot,” Sunny laughed and took the seat next to you. “So, Seokmin, what brings you to my friend over here?”

Seokmin opened his mouth to reply before turning to you and softly asking, “Is it okay to talk about it here?”

Sunny chuckled. “About her waking up in your apartment? Go ahead. I think everyone in the building knows already.”

“Oh.” He offered you an awkward-looking smile. “Well, sorry about that. I only mentioned it to Mingyu and Jeonghan but I guess– Nevermind. I just wanted to tell you to not worry about it.” His smile brightened, genuine and full of warmth all of a sudden. “We all have rough days – and rough nights – and I’m just glad you got some rest.”

“I have one question,” Jeonghan raised his arm before asking, “where did you sleep?”

“Me?” Seokmin shrugged. “The sofa. There was a woman in my bed.”

You somehow felt both worse and better than before. At least you knew he didn’t hold a grudge – after all, he seeked you out just to tell you it had been fine – but at the same time: you made this poor man sleep on the sofa instead of his objectively comfortable bed.

“I’m so sorry–”

“I said it’s fine,” he laughed and reached out to pat your hand. “I really don’t mind. You looked like you were sleeping very well. But–” he tilted his head in thought, a slight frown appearing, “–is it possible you were sleepwalking? You didn’t react at all last night, to anything. You just… brushed past us like we weren’t even there. I don’t know if you even had your eyes open.”

Sunny all but slammed her spoon on the table to give you a haughty look. “Yep. Told you. You were sleepwalking.”

You frowned. “I guess it’s possible.”

“Should I…” Seokmin scrunched up his nose in thought. “Should I maybe keep a look out in case this happens again?”

Immediately you shook your head. “No. No need. It was a one-time thing. A fluke. It was nothing. Won’t happen again.” In your attempts to not look at him, you happened to eye the clock. Your jaw dropped. “Oh. I should go home. I have–”

“–a report due in a week and deadlines to meet,” Sunny finished for you with a laugh. “I know, I know. Go.”

Jeonghan spoke up as well, “Take the plate and another slice of cake before you go. I want to know you eat at least a little between your work.”

You did as you were told and made your escape without another word, not even a goodbye to Seokmin. 

You had no time to feel guilty or consider that your heart fluttered a little at the thought of him coming to find you. Once again, you buried your feelings into lines of Times New Roman in your report.

“Oh, you come here too?” you heard his voice just two days later at the grocery store. 

It was a little surprising to find him there: the store was a good mile further from the one closest to your building. Like a startled owl, you stared and blinked at him in the cereal aisle. 

As you opened your mouth to respond, he chuckled and looked away at the cereals. “Don’t worry. You don’t have to talk to me. I just needed to get some Fruit Loops and figured I might as well say hi.” He placed the cereal in question into his basket and offered you one more friendly smile and a playful wave. “So, hi!”

“Hi,” you managed to drag out as you lifted your hand in a wave. 

With a chuckle, he turned and headed away to the next aisle. You thought you were free from him for the day. 

But alas: you found him again when you went to get eggs. He seemed to be contemplating between two brands. You tried your best to go unnoticed as you searched for your favourite local free range brand. To you dismay, he stood right in front of the eggs you seeked. 

“Excuse me,” you started and tapped his shoulder when he didn’t seem to notice.

He smiled upon recognising you. “Yeah?”

“Could you move? I want those eggs.”

“The expensive ones?” He raised an eyebrow and handed you a carton. “They’re almost triple the price of the store brand.”

“But they’re free range and locally sourced. You should try them,” you explained with the slightest bit of enthusiasm before placing eggs into your cart and walking away in the direction you thought him least likely to follow. 

You truly thought you were free of him when you went to the checkout, but once again, as if tasked by god himself to be wherever you went, Seokmin was in front of you in queue, meticulously placing his items on the counter. As he turned to put away his basket, his eyes found yours and a bright smile appeared on his face. “Oh, it’s you again!”

“It’s me again,” you replied with an awkward laugh. 

“Are you leaving too?” he wondered while fishing his bag for his wallet. When you nodded, his eyes lit up. “Do you need a ride home?”

Your eyes widened. “A ride?” 

Why was he offering you a ride home? Why was he so friendly with you at all? You had broken into his apartment – in the eyes of the legal system anyway – and he was smiling at you like you were a beloved friend. 

“Of course. We should stick together, no? We’re neighbours, after all– Hold on,” he interrupted himself to respond to the cashier, “Yes, by card please.Thank you.”

“You might have to wait a moment then,” you finally relented when he turned to you once again, eyes resembling a puppy. His smile widened at your words and he nodded. 

The ride home was short and awkward. You greatly feared he would try to retaliate for the emotional damage you might’ve caused by sleeping in his apartment. To your relief, he did not such thing and only continued cheerfully chattering.

“–but I feel like a dog would be too much work, you know? I love dogs but I don’t have that kind of time.” He offered you a glance. “Do you have any pets?”

You scrunched up your face in thought as the car rolled to a stop in the parking lot of the building. “I have a cactus.”

“... Does it have a name?”

Eager to not disappoint, you blurted out the first name that came to mind: “Bertha.” You shut your eyes in shame.

But as the two of you got out of his small red car, he laughed. “Bertha? Sounds lovely. Is she high-maintenance?”

“Very.”

“Yeah?”

You decided you liked his laughter and the bright smile that came with. “Easier than a dog though.”

He laughed louder at that and handed you your grocery bags. “I bet. Maybe I should get a cactus too.”

“I highly recommend,” you chuckled, finding his laughter contagious. “It’s very fulfilling to watch it do absolutely nothing all-year-round.”

When the two of you got into the hallway, he paused in front of the staircase. As you were about to ask him about it, he asked, “Do you need help with your bags?”

“No, I’m–”

“They look heavy.” He frowned before holding up a single finger, jogging over to his door, dropping his singular bag in front of it, and running back to you. Before you could formally protest, he grabbed the bags from your hands and began the journey up the stairs. When you froze in your spot, he turned to ask, “Well, aren’t you coming? Or were you going to sleep at mine again?”

Your face burned at the teasing comment. You decided following after him was the lesser evil. 

“There we go,” he cheered when the two of you reached your door. He rubbed his hands against his thighs a few times, awkwardly like a schoolboy, before smiling and waving goodbye. “I guess this is goodbye for the day. It was nice talking to you.”

You didn’t manage to even thank him before he was already halfway down the stairs. Maybe you made him as nervous as you made him. As you went to sleep that night, you replayed the interaction over and over again in your head, failing to hide a smile at the memory.

The valley of the mattress had a hold over you. You had never been so comfortable waking up – well, with the exception of maybe once or twice. 

The pillows were the perfect temperature, the blanket hugged you just right, the big teddy bear you hugged to your chest smelled fresh out of the washing machine– 

“Since when do I have a teddy bear?” you grumbled in confusion and pried your eyes open. You felt all blood rush away from your face as you looked at the bear – light brown with a baby blue bow, its eyes shining up at you. 

You had never even seen this bear before.

Cursing under your breath, you glanced around the room. You were back in your very own personal hell full of flowing beige curtains, white unfamiliar sheets, and teddy bears: the hell known as Seokmin’s apartment.

The realisation brought tears of frustration to your eyes, but you were too stubborn to let them loose. It was barely 8 am but you were already on the verge of crying – what a joke.

Wiping your eyes, you all but slammed the bear down on the bed (you’ll never admit you did feel a little bad about it seconds later and gave it a little pat on the head) and stood up. You stumbled out of the bedroom and towards the front door. 

As you reached for the doorknob – the final obstacle on your journey out of hell –, you heard his voice, sweet as honey like always, “Oh, you’re not going to stay for breakfast?”

You froze.

“I made extra waffles and all,” he added, sounding a little dejected. You didn’t have the heart to tell him no, so you sighed softly and turned around to give him a tight-lipped not-quite-genuine smile. His own grin brightened at the sight. “Is that a yes? You’ll stay?”

“Only for the waffles,” you lied and took a seat at his table. 

He laughed and placed a plate of fresh food in front of you before taking the seat across from you. “Not because you don’t want me to feel bad?”

“No,” you grabbed a fork and began filling it with food, “I just don’t like food waste.”

“Oh, right! Minghao said you work for an environmental company. That sounds cool.”

“Yeah?” You swallowed your food. “What about you? What do you do for work?”

He cleared his throat as though the question had caught him by surprise and he was too shy to say. After a moment of silence, he bashfully admitted, “I’m a music teacher at primary school.”

You blinked in surprise. “A music teacher?”

“Well, I wanted to be a singer– a musical actor, actually,” he explained, his voice fluctuating in volume and his ears bright red, “but I’m a little too shy to audition. So I just stuck with teaching others to sing.”

“That’s so cool though,” you told him with a smile. “Are you good at singing?”

His ears seemed to turn an even deeper red. “My friends think so but I don’t know. I think there’s still a lot of room for improvement.”

“Then why not audition? You only live once.”

He seemed thoughtful all of a sudden, watching your increasingly awkward self. You were just about ready to apologise for your possibly intrusive question when he softly asked, “Why not rest and live a little? You only live once, right?” 

The question felt awfully pointed and you didn’t fail to let him know with a glare. 

“I’m serious,” he declared, his lips pouting a little as if he was actually upset at your lack of self-care. “Whenever I see you, you’re always rushing somewhere. The only person you seem to be friends with is Sunny, and maybe Jeonghan by association.”

You opened your mouth to defend yourself. “I’m also friends with Minghao–”

“He barely even leaves his apartment. He doesn’t count.”

“He counts!”

“Do I count?”

“Of course you–” Your eyes widened as did his smile. 

“We’re friends now!” he declared while pointing an accusatory finger at you, his voice raising in excitement. You began to protest but he was having none of it. “No take-backs! We’re friends – you just said so!”

“I didn’t actually–”

“Nope. No. We’re friends.” He narrowed his eyes at you, his smile never fading. “Or do you just sleep in random guys’ beds?”

You wanted to protest, you really did, but there’s only so much you can say to defend yourself against such accusations. Besides, his bright smile at your defeated nod could’ve won awards.

Accidentally waking in his apartment didn’t end. No. In fact, it somehow got worse.

Once every week quickly turned into once every few days. You were tempted to start keeping track of how often you woke up in your own bed but one could assume the numbers wouldn’t be too impressive. 

You grew accustomed to the smell of his detergent and the smell of breakfast in the mornings. Was this what it might’ve been like to be in a relationship? 

“How come you’ve never dated anyone?” he wondered once over breakfast.

You shrugged. “I don’t have the time.”

“Too busy saving the world?” he teased like he often did. Over time you stopped finding it annoying (perhaps because he sounded almost genuinely proud of you every time he said it). 

“I assume you don’t get a lot of dates either,” you bit right back between bites of pancakes.

He seemed to be taken aback by your observation. “What makes you think that?”

“You sleep with a teddy bear, Seokmin,” you deadpanned. 

He pouted. “Fluffy is a premium sleep companion.”

You laughed. “Is he?”

“You steal him every other night!” he accused with a chuckle. “I’m sure you know how great he is by now.”

“He’s truly a– What did you say? A premium sleep companion?”

“That’s what the label said when I got him.”

“Maybe I should invest in a bear too,” you wondered thoughtfully between bites. 

Seokmin raised an eyebrow. “Then why don’t you?”

“No ti–”

“If you make the ‘no time’ excuse again, I will scream,” he said with in utmost seriousness. You promptly shut up: Seokmin’s lung capacity was well-known by everyone in the building.

After a moment of silence, he cleared his throat. “You know, if it’s physical contact that you need to sleep– Nevermind. How are the pancakes?”

Whether it was to save your or his dignity, you chose to ignore his first comment and answered only the last question, “Their colour is nicer than usual. I like the golden colour.”

“I guess the free range eggs really do make a difference,” Seokmin mused with a chuckle. When you offered him a surprised look, he hummed in confusion. “What?”

“You bought free range eggs? Didn’t you say they were too expensive last time?”

He shrugged. “I figured I might as well try to make some more ethical choices while shopping. Besides, you recommended them–”

Your eyes welled up a little. “You bought more expensive eggs because I recommended them?”

“And because I care for animals,” he added in a little too fast. 

You laughed and nodded. “For the animals, right. Me too.”

“Do you ever rest from your work?” he wondered after a moment. “What do you do outside of it?”

“I… don’t know. I read. I like to clean.”

“But what about going to festivals? Swimming? Cycling? Dancing?” He grew more and more desperate as you rejected every hobby he offered. “No wonder you’re so tired all of the time! You’re a workaholic.”

You snorted. “Sunny did say I’m similar to Jihoon.”

“I didn’t think it was this bad.”

“I think he’s worse though.”

“Oh, definitely, but he doesn’t go to sleep in his neighbours’ beds,” Seokmin pointed out with a look of worry. As he watched you for an exactly uncomfortable amount of time, his eyes eventually lit up again. “I have an idea. What are you doing tomorrow evening?”

“Working–”

“I swear if I hear that word one more time, I will scream.”

You, once again, promptly shut up. 

“Great,” he beamed and clapped his hands together, “I’ll text you to details later.”

“You’re not even going to tell me what we’re doing?”

You sighed in disappointment as he smiled brightly and shook his head ‘no’. 

A knock on your door notified you of his arrival. Despite being sure it wasn’t meant to be a date and knowing that Seokmin had seen you in far worse condition, you still took a deep breath and gave yourself a quick once-over at the mirror.

When you opened the door, he smiled at you brightly. “I see you’ve dressed up too.”

“I would hardly call this dressed up,” you told him rather sheepishly, suddenly even more aware of you appearance. “You look very dapper as well.”

“Yep, and do you want to know why?” 

“Why?”

His smile widened so much you worried for his cheeks. “Because you and I are going to the theatre.”

“The theatre?” You paled at the mention and looked down at your outfit. “I feel like I’m underdressed then.”

“You look fine,” he laughed and grabbed your hand. “Let’s go or we’ll be late. And trust me,” he widened his eyes for dramatic effect, “you don’t want to be late.”

You gave in begrudgingly and locked the door as fast as you could while he practically bounced at your side in excitement. 

“What are we going to watch then?” you finally remembered to ask when you entered the theatre less than 15 minutes later. “I swear, if you dragged me here to watch an opera–”

“It’s a musical, actually,” he admitted bashfully. “I love musicals and I don’t know much about other theatre performances so I thought– But if you don’t like musicals, that’s–”

“I don’t mind musicals,” you told him with a little laugh and pat on his shoulder. “But I have to admit, it has been ages since my last time at the theatre, and I haven’t seen a musical in a few years at least.”

“That’s fine. I’ll guide you through it.” And as if the last shy bone had left his body, he grabbed your hand and led you to your seats, all the while widely smiling at you and giving your hand periodical squeezes of encouragement. 

His hand never left yours for the duration of the musical, not even for intermission, not even when he ordered cake from the theatre café to hold you over until after the show. His hand remained warm in yours, fingers squeezing a little tighter every once in a while, his thumb running over the back of your hand. 

It was so warm, so comforting. Just his presence alone was enough to make you dizzy with the feeling of safety and happiness. His touch? You were floating on cloud 9 with zero regard for what was going on below – or on the stage, for that matter.

Frankly, you could barely remember to watch the musical because you were so busy marvelling at the feel of his hand in yours. 

“That was so good,” he excitedly told you as the two of you returned to your apartment. “The music was phenomenal.”

“The actors were very good.” And that was the only contribution you could make to the conversation because you definitely hadn’t paid any attention to the plot and your knowledge of music was simply not there.

But thankfully, that seemed to be far more than enough. His eyes gleamed as he sat onto your sofa and gestured widely while speaking, “Right? The leading woman was just– Incredible, fantastic. Her range! I’m a little jealous, actually.”

You took the seat next to him. To your surprise, his hand found yours once again, wasting no time in interlocking your fingers. And just like that, paying attention to anything else became difficult. 

Were you really developing a crush on him? Just like that? You refused. You were too busy to be pining after a man. 

But when slid closer to your side and looked at you like you were the most wonderful person to ever exist, you suddenly didn’t care about the lack of time. Screw it. You’d make time if it meant you got to see his star-filled eyes again. 

“... Sorry, what?” you coughed out when he paused and looked at you expectantly.

He laughed. “You’re so cute. I asked if you wanted to go see another musical with me someday.”

“I’d love to,” you blurted out without thinking. 

Yeah. Screw deadlines. 

“Okay, perfect!” His smile brightened up the entire room as he rested his head on your shoulder. “Because I heard they’re doing Excalibur next season and I desperately need a friend to go watch it with me. I saw the premise and heard a preview of one of the songs and they’re holding auditions next month and I am already obsessed–”

Your brain was barely functioning at all, and yet you could recall one single memory from the depths of it. A dream he had shared. “Then why don’t you audition?”

He sat up abruptly, looking at you as if you were insane. “I couldn’t possibly–”

“Why not?” you asked. “I heard you singing the other day. You’re really good. I think you could get any part pretty easily.”

His ears turned more red with every word you said. “You flatter me…”

“I’m serious, Seokmin!”

“I’m not that good. And I have zero acting experience, aside from a few courses I did in college. Why would they ever pick me?”

“Why wouldn’t they?” you countered and he scoffed.

“I can think of a few–”

“You never know if you don’t try,” you told him and raised your hand to brush a stray hair off his forehead. “I’m rooting for you.”

As your words faded into the night and your eyes met, you wondered if he could feel the sparks flying and bursting all around you as well. Did he also feel that overwhelming adoration for you? 

He sighed after a while, a bashful smile on his face. “You must be tired. It’s been a long night. Go to sleep.”

“I really should,” you yawned as if on cue. You shared a laugh at the timing.

He squeezed your hand one last time. “Well, good night then. I expect I’ll find you at my apartment in the morning–”

“Or you could stay here and we don’t have to worry about that,” you blurted without thinking. Your face flashed hot right after. 

Had there been any alcohol in that cake he bought for you? Why were you feeling so bold all of a sudden? 

“I–” He seemed speechless.

“I don’t know why I said that,” you rushed out and avoided his eyes. “I think I’m just really tired and work has been stressful and maybe my brain is just broke–”

He placed his hand behind your neck and led your head to rest against his chest as he rubbed comforting circles on your back. You could hear his body rumble with laughter as he held you. “I’d love to stay over. Besides,” he pushed you away just enough to look you in the eyes again, “I think it’s only fair that I get to sleep over this once, because you sleep over at my place a lot.”

You frowned and pouted. “It’s not like I mean to–”

“A lot,” he repeated with wide eyes and a teasing smile before pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “But it’s okay. I don’t mind.”

When you recounted the half-embarrassing and yet half-lovestruck happenings of the previous night to Sunny on the way back from work, she stared at you in bafflement.

“You actually asked him to sleep over?” she gasped, hand over her heart as if she was a peasant woman of the 16th century hearing the most scandalous gossip. “You little vixen!”

“Nothing happened,” you insistently told her as the two of you stepped off the bus.

She huffed. “That’s honestly so boring. I mean, have you seen that man? What I wouldn’t give to–”

“I am once again reminding you that you already have a boyfriend.”

“You don’t know what we’re into in the bedroom,” she countered with a smirk.

You only now realised how much Jeonghan was rubbing off on her. She was becoming a second him, slowly but surely. Couple of the year.

“I’m taking away your friend privileges, Sunny,” you told her at that and rushed ahead to avoid hearing any more weirdly Jeonghan-like jokes from her. 

She laughed at that before running after you. “Okay, okay, no more dirty jokes.”

“Thank god,” you sighed towards the sky.

“So, did any sleepwalking occur?” she then asked before humming in thought. “Well, I imagine if it had, I would’ve heard about it by now. It would’ve been quite a sight to see Seokmin running after an asleep you towards his apartment at 2 am.”

“I didn’t sleepwalk.” 

And frankly, if you had, Seokmin must have done a very good job of getting you back to your own bed because you woke up exactly how and where you fell asleep – wrapped in his arms, head resting in the crook of his neck. 

Sunny suddenly stopped in spot. Her eyes wide, her lips parted. She pointed an accusatory finger at you, “Wait, does that mean you two are dating now?”

You weren’t sure you had the answer. And you wouldn’t have time to find the answer for a while.

“Good morning!” you heard Seokmin’s voice before you even opened your eyes.

Unlike the previous few times, disappointment filled you as realisation hit. You groaned and turned over to bury your face in his numerous pillows, hoping you could suffocate yourself out of a mildly infuriating nightmare.

Seokmin clicked his tongue. “Not quite the greeting I was expecting, especially considering I was greeted with a hug the last time we shared a bed.”

“Shut it.”

“Oh, you’re mean today.”

“Did I fall asleep mid-work again?” you sighed and slowly sat up to glare at nothing in particular. Seokmin went to great lengths to avoid whatever direction to directed your deadly look to. “God, I bet I didn’t even make it to the second graph– I’m not gonna have time to go to the office for work today.”

He stared at you curiously. “So, work from home? I mean, if you have the possibility.”

“Yeah, but then I’ll get distracted and then I still won’t end up doing anything,” you whined before falling back into the pillows. You wanted to cry just at the thought of that stupid report waiting on your idle laptop. 

“Why are you so stressed about this report anyway? I don’t think you were ever this upset over any other reports.”

“If this project report goes through, and we pull off this project – which I still have to plan, oh my god, I am so far behind–”

Seokmin laughed at your frantic movements and moved over to place his hands on your shoulders and keep you still. “Hey, hey, don’t get distracted. If the project goes through…?”

You took a deep breath. “If the project goes well, I will get a promotion. Less hours, better pay.” You sighed. “Then maybe I’ll be able to get a dog like I’ve always wanted.”

“That sounds wonderful! We should celebrate with breakfast,” he suggested with a wiggle of his eyebrows. 

But as tempting as it sounded, you simply didn’t have any time to chat. You had work to do. And so, you stood up, fixed your hair, gave Seokmin an affectionate yet half-hearted pat on the back and headed for the door. 

You couldn’t wait to spend your day in complete lonely misery. At work you at least had friends to talk between sections. All you had in your apartment was Bertha and instant coffee.

And it was as if Seokmin knew it just from the way you spoke to him that morning. 

When the clock struck twelve, you heard a timid knock on your door. Confused at the noise and a little disoriented from the five pages of words you had written, you stood up and went to the door. 

Your heart grew three sizes when you saw him standing there, looking so awfully huggable in his large white hoodie and grey sweatpants, glasses on his nose accompanied by a kind smile. You were so surprised to find him there that you failed to consider why he came. 

He had to nudge you with the plastic bag he was holding for you to even notice it.

“Sorry,” you stammered and stepped aside to let him in, “I’m just a little-”

“Stress? Overworked? Confused because you’ve been staring at a 15-inch screen for the past three hours?” he suggested and brought the bag to the kitchen. “That’s okay. Don’t even mind me.” He smiled as he nodded towards your laptop. “Go on. Work waits. The sooner you get to it, the sooner it’ll be done.”

Disoriented as you were, you didn’t dare argue and slowly walked back to your previous seat at the coffee table, all the while watching him cautiously. 

As your fingers landed on the keyboard, he began lifting things out of the bag. You watched in awe as he stacked snacks and vegetables onto the counter. 

Feeling your eyes on him, he lifted his head to glare at you. “Work.”

“Work,” you repeated on instinct and turned back to your laptop. He laughed a little at your robotic tone. 

Some 20 minutes later, you felt a presence next to you. When you turned to face it, Seokmin was holding an fruit slice up at your lips. 

“Eat,” he told you softly. You did as told.

“What are you doing?” you asked between confused laughter and chewing. Your eyes landed on the bowl of fruits he had placed in front of you. 

He shrugged. “Taking care of you. You seemed so upset this morning… I thought it would be nice to spend my free day helping you.”

Your eyes widened. “It’s your free day? And you’re here? You should be resting!”

“Watching you is all the rest I need,” he winked playfully before lifting another fruit to your lips. “Now, eat up. This is lunch. I’ll make something better for dinner.”

“You don’t have to–” 

He took this chance to shove a piece of apple into your mouth, effectively interrupting your speech. “I will, and I don’t care what you say.”

He glanced around the apartment as you began to eat the fruits on your own. “When was the last time you opened a window?”

You watched curiously as he stood up (with a groan because his bones simply weren’t as nimble as they used to be) and headed over to the windows, opening a few to air out the room. As he did so, he told you, “They say that good airflow and fresh air help the thought process. We air out the classrooms between every lesson so the next students won’t get too tired.”

“I don’t think I’ve opened any windows in here since I first moved in,” you confessed before turning back to your laptop. Before you could your train of thought again, a soft fabric was placed on your shoulders. You looked up to find him smiling at you brightly. “So you won’t get cold.”

“What about you then?”

He shrugged and winked. “I’ll just consider this my daily walk in the park.” He then looked around the apartment again, as if looking for something to do. You couldn’t help but find it endearing. 

“Maybe… you could… make me a cup of tea?” you suggested.

He lit up at the idea. “Coming right up!”

Before heading to the kitchen, he leaned down to press a kiss to your forehead. It seemed almost like a reflex – like he didn’t even need to think about doing it. 

Relishing in the leftover warmth of his lips and the feel of his hoodie on your skin, your work took a backseat for a while. Instead of thinking about your project of a lifetime, your brain was drowning in one singular question. You glanced towards the kitchen to watch him, a smile appearing on your face as you did. 

“Seokmin?” you called out softly after a moment. 

He hummed in response immediately, eyes lifting from the cup he was preparing so he could offer you an encouraging smile. 

You took a deep breath. “What are we?”

He paused. “What do you mean?”

“You and I. What are we to each other?” you wondered, unable to look away from him. There was something you badly wanted to hear him say and yet feared at the same time. “What are you to me?”

The corners of his lips twitched. “I… I’ll be whatever you’d like me to be.”

“Whatever? A friend?”

“If that’s what you wish,” he breathed out, a little shakier than before.

“What about a lover?”

He smiled. “If you so wish.”

“Then… what do you want me to be?” you asked him quietly, a part of you praying your words would go missing in the incoming wind before they reached him. 

“I just…” He bit his lip in contemplation, ears turning red, and avoided your eyes.

“What do you want me to be to you, Seokmin?” you repeated your question, a little bolder this time, hope sparking in your heart.

He looked up again, into your eyes. “Mine.” You let out a breath – of relief or fear, you weren’t sure – but he didn’t hesitate when he repeated, “I want you to be mine.”

You felt guilty for the words you’d utter next. “But we don’t have the time for that…”

“That’s okay,” he assured you with a kind smile. “We’ll take it slow.”

“Slow? How slow do we take it?”

“As slow as you need. I’m not leaving.”

“I signed up for the auditions,” he told you over breakfast a few days later. “Jihoon’s helping me prepare.”

You were still neck-deep in your project, struggling to meet the deadlines and coordinate your team. This seemed to lead the asleep you to Seokmin’s apartment more often than not. It was almost like you woke up in his bed every morning now. 

But even in your despair, you couldn’t help but be excited for Seokmin.

Your eyes lit up and a squeal came out as you grabbed his hand over the table. “Really? You did?!”

He used his free hand to rub the back of his neck bashfully. “Well, you said I should give it a try, right? Who knows,” he shrugged, trying his best to seem nonchalant or even fake a little bit of confidence, “maybe they’ll give me a part.”

“I’m sure they will,” you insisted, squeezing his hand. “Your voice is amazing and you’re so handsome – the ladies are going to swoon when they see you on the stage.”

He laughed. “Will you be one of those ladies?”

“I’ll be in the front row,” you solemnly promised. “At every show. You’ll get sick of seeing me.”

“I could never,” he assured you.

Seokmin’s audition would take place two weeks later. You made sure the mark the day with a big red circle on your calendar – on all three of them, in fact. And now it was time.

Between your seemingly endless stream of project complications and Seokmin’s daytime job and audition preparations, you barely saw him. If it weren’t for your persistent sleepwalking problem, you wouldn’t have seen him at all. And so, the curse had became a blessing. 

“You’ll do great,” you assured him minutes after waking up in his bed. You made sure to give him the warmest hug before letting him leave the room. “I believe in you. And so does Jihoon, apparently.”

Seokmin pouted. “Did he say that or are you lying to make me feel better?”

“We talked yesterday,” you told him, appalled that he’d even accuse you of such atrocities. “He said he has complete faith that you’ll do well.”

“I don’t believe you but–”

“Do you want to fight me? Already?” You raised a brow and he shook his head immediately. “Exactly. Just accept the compliment. And don’t forget to call me when you finish, okay?”

“Of course,” he promised.

He kept that promise. Just as he stepped out of the theatre, his shaky hands picked up the phone and chose your number. 

You answered the call with prep in your voice. It had been a good day so far and you were expecting to hear his no-doubt joyous retellings of the audition.

What you weren’t expecting was: “Can you come get me? I think I might cry.”

“Why, why?” Despite your words, you didn’t hesitate to slam your laptop closed and grab your jacket. “Are you okay? Were they mean?”

“They weren’t mean,” he mumbled on the other side of the line, “but I don’t think I did well.”

“I’m sure you did wonderful,” you spoke while rushing down the street. Thankfully, the theatre was barely a five-minute walk from your office – half that at your current pace. “You’re just putting yourself down over nothing.”

Seokmin whined. “You’re seriously overestimating me.”

“Don’t be silly.”

“No, I’m serious. You overestimate me.”

As you crossed the street, you noticed a familiar figure dragging his feet along the pavement, head low and shoulders slumped. “Now why would I do that?”

“Because you like me a little more than you should,” he suggested while kicking a pebble. You could already hear his voice even without the phone. “I’m sure the directors think I’m a joke or something. God, I am so–”

“Don’t you dare say another bad word about yourself,” you scolded him with a gentle slap against the back of his head. 

He stared at you in bewilderment – both from the fact that you might as well have appeared from thin air and the fact that you just did that. 

But you were unrelenting in your affection for him. “Lee Seokmin, listen to me: you did absolutely great. You did your best. And even if you don’t get a part this time, they’ll value the fact that you now have experience with auditions. Take it in stride.”

Tears gathered in his eyes. Before long, he pulled you into his embrace, holding you impossibly tight. “You’re just saying that… Thank you.”

“That’s what I’m here for, silly,” you laughed and hugged him back just as tightly. “I think we should celebrate this occasion.”

“Even if I screwed up and don’t get the part?”

You scoffed. “Absolutely! A little cake can make everything better, no?”

He sighed. “I don’t think I can eat right now. I might throw up from the nerves.”

“Drink then?”

He contemplated and then straightened up. “I could go for some bubble tea…”

“There we go!” you cheered and gently pinched his cheeks, prompting a small giggle. “My treat because you did so well today and I’m so proud of you.”

This time it was you who grabbed his hand without any hesitation, more than happy to reassuringly squeeze it as you walked and talked. 

“When will you get the answer?” you wondered.

He sucked in a breath. “In about a week, they said. Or maybe never–”

“Seokmin,” you scolded.

“In a week,” he corrected himself with some enthusiasm. “I’ll get answers in a week. And then I might actually cry.”

“And I’ll be there when you cry tears of joy, darling.”

“Tears of joy?” He raised a brow and smiled in disbelief. “You seriously put too much faith in me.”

You nudged his side. “As if you haven’t been equally supportive about my promotion.”

“Oh, right,” Seokmin gasped, “won’t your promotion interview be in a week too?”

You would’ve preferred he didn’t remind you. Then again, you guessed it was only fair. 

“Will you come over to hold me when I cry too?”

“Tears of joy?” he teased and leaned over to kiss your temple. “I’ll be just a call away.”

The week somehow passed at both the pace of a snail and the pace of Junhui on a sugar rush. 

After finding you in his bed every single morning, Seokmin resorted to just sleeping over at your place, tightly cuddling you to keep you in place. He now had a whole drawer dedicated to his things in your bedroom. 

The day started okay. You were awoken not by a loud alarm like you had expected, but by Seokmin gently singing you awake. 

For a moment, you thought you had died and gone straight to heaven – maybe working so hard to save the environment had paid off after all, you thought. But no, it was just your reality. 

What a beautiful reality. You couldn’t help but smile as you cuddled into his chest.

“If you keep clinging onto me like that, I won’t be able to make my famous waffles for a lucky breakfast,” he whispered but made no attempt to push you away. 

The delicious breakfast was followed by an encouraging hug on the way out of the building, him to the school and you to the office. You wore a smile the entire time.

Up until you made it to your desk. Then the reality began sinking in. 

This was the day that could make or break your career. The day you had worked so hard for that you neglected your private life for so many years.

As the clock on the wall slowly ticked forward, your hands began to shake. Your throat was dry. Your head was fuzzy, full of nothing but anxiety. If someone had asked you about anything, you would’ve only been able to stare at them with a mouth wide open.

20 minutes until your scheduled interview. You were starting to feel sick. 

When another colleague came to give you a supportive pat on the back, you excused yourself and grabbed your phone to rush outside to the balcony. You sat on a chair and willed yourself to take deep breaths as you tapped on his number.

You wanted to slap yourself when you realised that you hadn’t even bothered to check if he was on break yet.

But he answered on the first ring. “Hey, what’s up? Did you have the interview alread–”

“Seokmin, I can’t do this,” you whimpered into the microphone. “I can’t do this. They’re gonna realise I’m an idiot and they’ll fire me and–”

“Woah, woah, what happened to your positive can-do attitude?” he wondered. “You’ll be fine.”

“No–”

“(Y/n),” he said your voice so firmly that your breath got caught in your throat. “(Y/n), you will be fine. You’ve worked there for so many years, you’ve achieved so many things. If they wanted to fire you, they would’ve done that by now.”

You took a shaky breath. “What if it’s an elaborate prank?”

“Why would– Baby, listen to me. You’ve worked hard. You put everything you had into that project – I was there, I saw it. You and your ideas are invaluable to your company. They’re going to ask you a few questions as a formality and they’re going to give that promotion and then you and I are going to go to a celebratory dinner and it’ll all be over.”

“And I can get a dog?” you whispered, a small smile tugging at your lips.

“You can get two dogs if you want, baby,” he laughed. “You deserve it. Don’t underestimate yourself. I believe in you and I’m sure your co-workers do as well.”

“How do you always know the right words to say?”

He laughed once again. “Baby, I’m a teacher. I’m literally trained to comfort people. I’m just glad I’m able to comfort you as well.”

“Thank you.”

“No need,” he responded, “just go and ace that interview. Okay?”

“And then you’ll come and wipe my happy tears?”

“You already know the answer to that question. But I expect the same treatment when I get my audition results.”

“Will do.”

“Go and get them, tiger.”

You weren’t sure what it was, but something about the conversation seemed to have lifted the weight off your shoulders. When you walked back to the office, the upcoming interview no longer felt as taunting. 

As the clock hit 2 pm, you squared your shoulders, took a deep breath and headed to your manager’s office.

When the day ended, you found Seokmin standing in front of the office building, a blinding smile on his face. 

“Well?” he asked expectantly, though the look in his eyes said that he had every faith that you would only give him good news. You were glad to prove him right. 

Your coy smile was replaced with joyous laughter as you ran to hug him and called out, “I got the job!”

“You got it? You got it!” he cheered with you, jumping up and down with you in his arms, not far from spinning you around in the air. “I knew you would! What did I tell you? Silly you,” he let you out of his hold to place his hands on your cheeks and pull your face closer to his own, “you thought you wouldn’t get the promotion. Look at you now. I’m so proud of you.”

You breathed out in relief. The smile seemed to never stop tugging on your cheeks. “I’m so relieved I could cry.”

“Then who will dry my happy tears?” he teased with a bright smile.

You tilted your head in confusion. “Wait–”

“I got the part,” he whispered, his smile only growing wider, eyes sparkling. “I’m going to become a musical actor, officially.”

“Oh my god!” you practically squealed and now it was your turn to hug him and jump. He was glad to join you, laughing in glee. “I knew you could do it! I knew it!”

As joy got the best of you – and who could blame you: this was the happiest day of your life so far –, you grabbed his face and pulled him closer to you to press your lips against his own. He melted into the gesture, arms wrapping around you tighter as if to will the moment to last forever. 

When you pulled back, just enough so that your noses touched, he laughed in disbelief. “I thought we were supposed to take it slow?”

“Screw taking it slow,” you whispered and kissed him again. “Might as well make it a triple celebration.”

“I like the sound of that.”

BONUS !

While practically leaning out of their open window to watch you and Seokmin kiss under the streetlights on your way home, Jeonghan and Sunny argued.

“I told you they would get together,” Sunny declared, her eyebrows raised as if to dare her boyfriend to prove her wrong. 

Jeonghan scoffed. “Please. They’re just kissing. It could be casual.”

“Just say you don’t want to owe me 20 bucks.”

“I don’t owe you 20 bucks! We have no confirmation!”

“Jeonghan, listen here–”

“No, no, you listen–”

“Both of you listen here!” Chan bellowed from the window above them. “If you don’t stop arguing right now, I will report you both to Jihoon’s parents! Some of us are trying to sleep!” Silence followed. “And pay her the 20 bucks, Jeonghan. They’re clearly together.”

Jeonghan grumbled and glared upwards before fishing a 20 out of his pocket and handing it to his smiling girlfriend.

[souliebird]

hi!! i saw your Matt x Reader getting high idea and loved it, but i’m not big on posting my writing, i js do it for fun lol. but yeah here it is, not the exact idea but it was fun to write!!

“hey, you okay?”

“yeah.. yeah i’m fine. can’t sleep.”

your hands trembled slightly your whispers quivered. you had slept an average of four hours a night for the past two weeks, your anxiety had just been… very persistent. mind constantly running laps around worst-case scenarios.

you felt even worse about it because your boyfriend, matt, got an equally low amount of rest. and now you were waking him up with your worries. you put your face in your hands and let out a whine in frustration.

“baby it’s alright, s’ not your fault, kay?”

“i’m just so tired,” your whisper broke midair.

“i know, you’re gonna be alright,” and you believed him for a moment. he took you into his arms and held you tight, whispering reassurances in your ear, having an invisible battle with the volume of your own thoughts.

—————————

the next morning, you met your friend for coffee. you would’ve forgotten that you were supposed to meet her if matt hadn’t reminded you. he had acted energized in the morning, as to not make you feel bad, but you could tell he was tired.

“have you ever considered trying weed? for your sleeping problems?” your friend knew about your issues, and no, you hadn’t considered it.

“no, the smell is awful. you know how matt is about stuff like that,” you mindlessly sipped at your coffee. still not enough to make you feel energized in any way.

your friend shrugged, “well, i am a therapist. that shit works. i get it though,” and just like that the conversation ended, the subject changed. but you were desperate for a solution, and the idea stuck to the back of your brain just like the overwhelming exhaustion of past weeks.

—————————

“baby? what’s up?” matt’s head perked up when he heard your heartbeat, he stopped his braille reader and got up to greet you.

you kissed him back and some small fraction of the world’s weight was lifted for just a moment.

“foggy did like, weed in college, right?” you asked tentatively, matt seemed startled by the abrupt question.

“hey, i heard that! it was definitely a chapter,” foggy called from the other room, now involved in the discussion.

matt tilted his head at you, his way of silently asking a question. he may be charismatic in front of the clients and in court, but at heart, matt only spoke when he felt he had to. you enjoyed that you were one of the few who understood his secret little language of gestures. his head tilt said, “why do you ask?”

“y’know my friend? the therapist? she recommended it for my sleep,” you were still a tad unsure about the whole conversation, “i don’t know. i know you’re sensitive to smells, and i don’t love it either, but i just feel like i’ve tried everything—“

matt cut you off before you started rambling and spiraling, “sweetheart, slow down for a second. first of all, i shared a dorm with foggy, and we live in New York. it’s one of the few smells i barely even notice anymore. second, i know how much your anxiety affects you and your sleep, so if you want to try it, it’s completely fine,” matt rubbed a hand up ad down your arm soothingly.

foggy chimed in, “i still have some know-how from college,” and both you and matt chuckled.

—————————

through your therapist friend, you had gotten some low dose edibles. you hated the idea of smoking, plus this would reduce the smell.

you looked at the clock, 10:12 PM. you held one of the small gummies in your hand, unsure.

matt came into the bedroom from the living room, “how’s it going?”

“haven’t taken it yet. i guess i’m nervous, i never did anything like this in school,” you admitted.

matt paused for a long moment, making his way to sit next to you on the bed.

“…what if i took one too?” he smiled softly, eyes flitting around your face, trying to catch eye contact.

“really?” you felt like you were infringing upon his night enough already on a daily basis.

“it’s really no big deal, i got dragged to a few parties in college. he may not admit it now, but he was a full-on stoner. i probably got a little high just from the second-hand smoke,” he gave you that wide grin you loved, and you giggled.

“…okay. good to know i wasn’t the only goodie two shoes in school,” you smiled as you took a second gummy out of the bag and placed it in matt’s already outstretched palm, which he put in his mouth immediately.

you let out a confident sigh and ate yours, too.

matt sensed that your nerves were still present and squeezed your hand before getting up to do some work, “let me know when it kicks in,” he pecked you on the cheek before going to his laptop in the kitchen.

you just flopped onto your back and let yourself sink into the bed, checking your phone occasionally.

you looked at the clock again right before matt came back in, it was 10:30.

“hey, baby, i think i feel it,” you could tell from the way that his sentence trailed off that matt was definitely high. as you looked at him and felt a sense of pleasant unawareness you realized that you were too.

“same here,” you said as matt practically climbed onto you and spooned you for a few seconds before switching up and laying half on top of you, his arms around you as he breathed you in like a drug. much more powerful than some weed.

“mm my senses are a little duller… can’t block anything.. all of it is you,” he mumbled into your neck.

you felt the opposite. for the first time in a while, your thoughts silenced themselves.

“matt, i think m’ not worrying anymore,” you ran your fingers through his hair lightly. he had just told you that his senses were running amok, and you didn’t want him to get overwhelmed.

“foggy might’ve been into something in college—“ you felt his lips curl isn’t a smile against your neck, “i miss college sometimes. but also i don’t. felt like that was when i was the most blind, right? people treated me very blind. to be fair, i am blind. those glasses probably didn’t help. i like my glasses now. more mysterious. do you think they make me look mysterious?” he mumbled and rambled. you laughed.

“yes, matty, they make you look very mysterious. but i like your eyes without the glasses. a lot,” you admitted in your daze.

“mm, i only like when you see them. or foggy and karen. other people get uncomfortable cuz they can see i’m not looking. i can hear their heartbeats, it speeds up just a little for a bit when i first take off my glasses and then any time i try to look up. that doesn’t happen with you. i love your heartbeat, and how you are. i love you,” he kissed your neck and you felt your face heat up just a little bit. he pushed himself up and off of you with his arms on either side of your torso and kissed you gently but long on the lips.

“i love you too, murdock,” you whispered when he slowly pulled away. you immediately reattached your lips and made a mediocre effort to flip over and straddle matt.

his strong hands helped you, and you leaned down to kiss him, this time deepening the kiss. both of your kisses were slowed by the haze in your minds.

after being in one long, loving kiss for what could have been forever, you pulled away just slightly and realized how much you needed to take a proper breath.

matt chuckled at your panting.

“hi,” he whispered, almost inaudibly, and in those beautiful eyes of his was a look of pure adoration. you saw it in the lines next to his eyes, the way his eyebrows relaxed, and the way his now-wet lips quirked up at the ends.

you ran a hand through his hair, “hi to you too.”

you slid down to lay down next to him, and you both turned to face each other, kissing once more as his hand came up to hold your face.

eventually you found yourself laid between his two arms in a pure state of bliss.

you woke up the next morning more rested than you had been in months, not even remembering dozing off the night before.

Ahhhhhhh I hope it is okay to pay this but I absolutely love it!!!!

I love cuddly high Matt and I love the insight about his blindness and his glasses. 🩷 This is so sweet!!! Thank you so much for sharing this with me! I just want them to cuddle and have a Nice time.

[matttgirlies]

Matt & Me🎀

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24

a story heavily based on Priscilla Presley’s Book “Elvis & Me” based in the 1950’s - 1970’s.

fem! reader x singer! matt

disclaimer!! - in no way am i saying matt would ever support or do these kind of things, for the sake of the book certain unethical things do happen at times.

warnings - mentions of drug use

y/nn = your nickname for any confusion🩷

Chapter 11

Matt Sturniolo created his own world; only in his own environment did he feel secure, comfortable, and protected. A genuine camaraderie was created at Graceland. We lived as one big family, eating, talking, arguing, joking, playing, and traveling together.

Although I became friends with the guys in Matt’s retinue, he never let me, or anyone else, forget that I was his girl. I was never to get too close or become too familiar with any of the regulars.

One evening, after we came home from a movie, we said good night to everyone and went upstairs. Returning to the kitchen a few minutes later to get something to eat, I found Jerry Schilling, who’d just started working for Matt, making himself a snack. We started talking. A few minutes later, Matt appeared.

“What the hell are you two doing down here?” he shouted at us.

Intimidated, Jerry said, “Well, Matt, we were just talking. I was asking her how she felt, because she didn’t feel well this afternoon.”

“I came down to get something to eat,” I explained.

“y/nn, you don’t need to be roaming around here late at night,” he said, angrily ordering me upstairs.

Behind me, I could hear him lashing out at Jerry. “If you want to keep this job, son, you mind your own business. If there’s anyone who’s going to ask her how she feels, it’ll be me. You better mind your own goddamn business.”

I liked Jerry. He was warm, sincere, and very personable; just a couple of years older than I, he was one of the few people who I could relate to. But from that time on, it was a dodging match every time we’d run into each other. Now Jerry and I laugh about the “good old days” when we reminisce.

Most of the boys who worked for Matt had been around from the beginning and they knew all about him—his sense of humor, his sensitivity, and his temper. He stripped himself bare in front of them, and they accepted him for what he was.

Yet working for Matt was a twenty-four-hour-a-day job, and the boys were at his beck and call constantly. They played when he played and slept when he slept. It took a certain kind of personality to put up with his demands, whether they made sense or not.

“Come on, y/nn, let’s go to Los Angeles. I’ll show you where I film movies.,” he said one afternoon when we’d only been up for a few hours. He called downstairs and told Alan to alert everyone that he wanted to leave within the hour.

Alan said, “Okay, Boss. I think Richard and Gene are still sleeping. I’ll give ’em a call and tell ’em to come right over.”

“Their lazy asses are still sleeping?” Matt asked. “I’ve been up for two goddamn hours. They should have been over here by now. Alan, from now on, when I call down for my breakfast, call the boys and tell them I’m up and to be ready for anything, and that may include me not even coming downstairs. I just want them here.”

Demanding? Yes, but Matt could be just as generous. By today’s standards the boys’ salaries were not high—the average paycheck was $250 a week—but if the boys ever felt the pinch by the end of the month, they would go to Matt. They’d ask him if he could help them out with a down payment on a house or the first and last months’ payments on an apartment. Matt always came through for them, lending them the one thousand or five thousand or ten thousand dollars they asked for. He was rarely if ever paid back.

There also was no limit to the expensive gifts he gave them—television consoles for Christmas, bonus checks, Cadillac convertibles, Mercedes-Benzes. If he heard someone was sad or depressed, he loved to surprise them with a gift, usually a brand-new car. When he gave to one, he would usually end up giving to all.

James didn’t have much respect for the guys. He said Matt just gave and gave and gave, and they took and took and took. He’d say, “Son, we have to save.” Matt would answer, “It’s only money, Dad. I just have to go out and make more.”

James resented the regulars acting as if Graceland was their personal club. They’d go into the kitchen at any hour and order anything they wanted. Naturally, everyone ordered something different. The cooks worked night and day keeping them happy. James felt, “To hell with the boys. Their main concern should be Matt.”

What was really outrageous was that the regulars were ordering sirloin steaks or prime ribs while Matt usually ate hamburgers or peanut butter and banana sandwiches.

I wasn’t too popular around Graceland when I started reorganizing the kitchen. I set down a policy of having one menu per meal, and anyone who didn’t like what was on it could go to a local restaurant. This new edict resulted in much grumbling from the guys, but the cooks were relieved, and James sanctioned my decision, announcing, “It’s about time someone organized the meals. It was beginning to look like we were feeding half of Boston.”

Matt was the boss, the provider, and the power. Both the boys and I had to protect him from people who annoyed or irritated him and were no longer in his favor. Before coming down for the evening, he’d have me call downstairs to check who was there. I’d run down the guests, aware that certain names would strike him wrong.

“Shit,” he’d say, his mood destroyed. “What’s he want? Bring me some more bad news?” He’d stay up in his room rather than spend an evening with someone he didn’t like. There was one particular regular who had incurred his disfavor, and Matt told everyone he didn’t want him around. “Don’t let him through those goddamn gates!” Matt ordered. “All I have to do is look at his face and I get depressed.” Matt barred him from Graceland for a number of years, saying, “If he changes his morbid attitude, maybe I’ll change my mind.” His perceptions were correct, as these “friends” eventually betrayed him.

Matt and James kept some of their relatives at a distance because, as Matt explained to me, they’d shunned him when he was growing up, ridiculing him as a sissy, a mama’s boy. Mary Lou stood up for Matt and told his tormentors to go their own way. Angrily, she had said, “Don’t bother us with these accusations.”

Then fame and fortune hit, and suddenly all the kinfolk came around, begging for jobs or crying that they needed help. Sometimes Matt got upset, charging, “The only time they visit is with their hand out. It’d be nice if they’d come around just to see how I was doing. But hell no, it’s always, ‘Ah, Matt, I could use a little extra cash. Could you help me out?’ Hell, I’ll bet when I’m dead and gone, they’ll still be taking advantage.” But Matt ended up slipping each of them a hundred dollars or more every time they came around. If it had been up to James, he would have gotten rid of every one of them. But Matt kept saying, “No, Dad, they don’t have any place to go. They couldn’t work anywhere. Keep them here.”

From the beginning of his success, Matt put many family members on salary, and all had titles. James was his business manager; Patsy, his personal secretary; uncles Vester Sturniolo and Johnny and Travis Smith, and cousin Harold Lloyd, gate guards; cousins Billy, Bobby, and Gene, personal aides; and then there was Tracy Smith, who seemed to go from brother to brother for support. Matt took care of everyone.

I remember one night at Graceland when Matt came back to the kitchen and saw Tracy pacing the floor. “Hey, Tracy,” he said, “How ya doing, man?” Tracy, his hands in his pockets, could hardly look Matt in the eye. “I don’t know, Matt,” he sighed. “What do ya mean, you don’t know? Everyone knows how they’re doin’, man.”

Tracy, shifting back and forth, mumbled, “I got my nerves in the dirt, Matt.” Matt staggered back, laughing. “Nerves in the dirt! Hell, I never heard it expressed like that before. You need some money, Tracy?”

Again, Tracy just shifted back and forth, as Matt called Nate over and told him to give Tracy a bill. A big smile covered Tracy’s lined face as he happily took his hundred dollars and walked out the door.

Matt knew that having his nerves in the dirt was Tracy’s way of saying he was down and out—and worried sick about it. He never forgot that phrase. “Poor ol’ Matt,” he’d say. “I’ll never forget the look on his face that night, poor ol’ guy.”

That was Matt—always caring, always sensitive to everyone’s needs, even while presenting a macho image to his fans and friends.

Anything I could think of doing for him, I did. I made sure Graceland was always warm and inviting, with the lights turned low, as he preferred them, the temperature in his bedroom set to his exact desire (freezing), and the kitchen filled with the aroma of his favorite meals.

Every night before dinner was served, I came downstairs first, checked with the maids to see that his food was just the way he liked it—his mashed potatoes creamily whipped, plenty of cornbread, and his meat burnt to perfection. I always had candles on the dining room table to create a romantic atmosphere despite the fact that we always ate with several of the regulars.

I loved babying Matt. He had a little-boy quality that could bring out the mother instinct in any woman, a beguiling way of seeming utterly dependent. It was this aspect of his charm that made me want to hold him, shower him with affection, protect him, fight for him, and yes, even die for him. I went to extremes in taking care of him, from cutting his steak at dinner to making sure his water glass was always filled. I enjoyed pampering and spoiling him and found myself jealous of others vying for his attention and approval.

But I didn’t always receive his approval. If something went wrong with his dinner, Matt blew up. “Why isn’t this steak done? Why didn’t you make sure the maids cooked it right? If you’d have done your job, it wouldn’t have turned out like this.” Obviously something else was wrong, and I didn’t recognize it at the time. Because of the continuous pressures and problems in Matt’s life, all magnified by taking prescribed drugs, little things would set him off. I took responsibility for everything in his life and always took it all too personally.

I wanted to be with Matt as much as I could, but while going to the movies or the fairgrounds every night might have been a wonderful way for him to relax, it posed an enormous problem for me. Often I wouldn’t get home until 5 or 6 a.m., and I’d have to be at school two hours later. Sometimes I never went to sleep. When I did, I could barely make it out of bed. I would lie there trying to drum up the strength to face the day, Matt making it even harder by suggesting that I sleep in and cut classes. It would have been so easy to go along with his suggestion, but hanging over me was the agreement I’d made with my parents. They trusted me and even though I was letting them down, I still had to keep up the facade.

Day after day I drove to school, attended classes till noon, then returned to Graceland to slip back into bed and cuddle next to Matt, who was still sound asleep. When he awoke at 3 or 4 p.m., I might never have left his side for all he knew. I was there to give him his usual order of orange juice, a Spanish omelet, home-fried potatoes, a mere two pounds of bacon, and—first and foremost—his black coffee.

Everyone who knew Matt was aware that it took him at least two to three hours to wake up fully. Asking him to make a decision, even a simple one such as what movie he wanted to see that night, was ill-advised. He was just too groggy and irritable from the sleeping pills, which were causing him to sleep as many as fourteen hours a day. It seemed only natural for him to take some Dexedrine to wake up.

I was always concerned about his intake of sleeping pills. His horror of insomnia, compounded with a family history of compulsive worrying, caused him to down three or four Placidyls, Seconals, Quaaludes, or Tuinals almost every night—and often it was a combination of all four. When I expressed my concern, he just picked up the medical dictionary, always near at hand on his night table.

“In here is the explanation for every type of pill on the market, their ingredients, side effects, cures, everything about them,” he assured me. “There isn’t anything I can’t find out.”

It was true. He was always reading up on pills, always checking to see what was on the market, and which ones had received FDA approval. He referred to them by their medical names and knew all their ingredients. Like everyone else around him, I was impressed with his knowledge and certain that he was an expert. One would think he had a degree in pharmacology. He always assured me that he didn’t need pills, that he could never become dependent on them. This difference in opinion resulted in many serious confrontations; I always compromised my integrity and ended up taking his viewpoint.

I began taking sleeping pills and diet pills too. Two Placidyls for him and one for me. A Dexedrine for him and one for me. Eventually Matt’s consumption of pills seemed as normal to me as watching him eat a pound of bacon with his Spanish omelet. I routinely took “helpers” in order to get to sleep after wild rides at the fairgrounds or early-morning jam sessions. And I routinely took more “helpers” when I woke up in order to maintain the fast pace and, more importantly, to study for my final exams.

During the last month before finals, I started popping more dexies than before. They seemed to give me the energy I needed to get through classes and homework. Every free moment was devoted to cramming a whole semester’s work into a few weeks. But my concentration was scattered; the strain of life at Graceland had finally caught up with me.

I had already been warned by Sister Adrian that in order for me to graduate, I had to pass all my subjects. During a talk in her office, I wanted desperately to confide in her and explained how hard it was to maintain my grade level with the late hours I kept: But how could I tell that to a nun?

I had no real goals after graduation, but I did sometimes dream of becoming a dancer or possibly enrolling in an art academy. Now I realize that I was deeply influenced by Matt’s casual attitude toward continued schooling. He figured I didn’t need it and I agreed. Just being with him most of the time would provide an education—not to mention experience—that no school could give me. He wanted me to be his totally, free to go to him in an instant if he needed me.

That sounded great to me. I’d never planned on a future without Matt. Therefore, while my classmates were deciding which colleges to apply to, I was deciding which gun to wear with what sequined dress. I was tempted to say to Sister Adrian, “Oh, by the way, Sister, does gunmetal gray go with royal blue sequins?” With that attitude it was no surprise that I was still woefully unprepared for my most hated subject, algebra, the week before finals.

On the day of the test, I sat in the crowded classroom, hyper from downing a dexy, trying to work out the problems. Despite my effort, I knew there was no way I was going to pass. I started to panic. I had to graduate. I had an obligation to Matt and to my parents, who I knew would yank me out of Graceland the minute I failed this test. I glanced at the girl next to me—and at her completed test paper. It’s my last resort, I thought. I’m going for it. I was not willing to face the consequences of being sent home for failing this test.

Her name was Janet and she was a straight A student. I tapped her on the shoulder and flashed my brightest smile, whispering, “Are you a Matt fan?” Taken aback by my question, Janet nodded yes. “How would you like to come to one of his parties?” I asked.

“Are you kidding?” she replied. “I’d love to.”

“Well, I know a way that it can be arranged.”

I eyed her test paper and explained. Janet instantly grasped my dilemma and, without a word, slid her paper to the edge of her desk. Now I had a full view of her answers. I spent the rest of the hour furiously copying them down and I not only passed, but I got an A on that test.

I hadn’t expected Matt to make much of my graduation. His attitude was, “A diploma’s not that important; life’s experiences are.” But to my surprise, he really looked forward to it and arranged to have a big party for our friends after the ceremony. There he presented a beautiful red Corvair, my first car.

On the big night he was like a proud parent. Nervous about what he should wear to the ceremony, he finally settled on a dark blue suit, and I put on my navy blue gown. I couldn’t possibly keep the cap on over that mass of teased hair.

Matt had a limo waiting for us out front. But there was one problem: I did not want him to come to the actual ceremony. It would attract a lot of attention, and all eyes would be focused on him instead of the graduating seniors.

Finally I worked up enough courage to ask him to wait outside, and explained why. Smiling his funny little grin, the one that came to his lips when he was hurt or upset, he agreed without hesitation. “I hadn’t thought about that,” he said. “I won’t come in. I’ll just be outside in the car waiting for you. That way I’ll kinda be there.”

And that was what he did. I accepted my diploma with mixed emotions. I would have loved for him to have been watching, but only I knew what a physical, emotional, and mental strain it had been to get that piece of paper. To me, it represented freedom, freedom to stay out until dawn if I wanted and sleep all day if I wanted. It represented freedom from my school uniform and from the teasing the entourage subjected me to every time they caught me in it trying to sneak past them at Graceland. I was a big girl playing in the big leagues.

As soon as I could get away, I ran outside. In front of the church, Matt and the boys were standing by the long black limo, looking like the Chicago Mafia in their dark glasses and suits, each concealing a.38. Around them a group of nuns were clamoring for Matt’s autograph.

Excerpt from: "Elvis and Me" by Priscilla Beaulieu Presley. Scribd. This material may be protected by copyright.

a/n - so cute🎀

[its-in-the-woods]

Down the Rabbit Hole Chapter 6

Chapter one here, two here, three here, four here , five here

Pairing: Walton Goggins x You

Rating/Warning:  As always minor get out.  Little angst, lots of fluff, handholding,kissing, Very Fluffy, Pinch of Angst, Relationship Development, Hurt/Comfort, Older man/ Younger(30s) women, Alternative universe, fictional work (IDK WHY BUT I AM PUTTING IT) Probably more as I go.

Synopsis: Working in film as a make-up artist is hard enough, but then Walton Goggins requests you, well it's way too easy to fall down the rabbit hole.

Note: they are both single, all for fun.

I think I may have an ending now. Posts will continue to be 2-3k long. Every other day more than likely. The whole fic will be around 30k words.

Thank you all again and again for taking the time to read the stories I put out.

***

Your phone hasn’t stopped buzzing, your head is a little fuzzy but not nearly as bad as you’d experienced. Opening your eyes you flip the phone over to see it’s nearly twelve-thirty in the afternoon. Blinking a few times you make yourself sit up in bed flipping your phone on to see a deluge of text messages. Groaning you turn your phone off and stretch. Before any messages were answered you need coffee and maybe a shower. 

Showered and suitably caffeinated you finally flip open the text messages. 

Trevor: 

9 am: So what happened?

9:1 5:Hello?

9:30: Look do I need to call the police?

10:30: It’s been hours….

10:32: You never texted me when you got home

11:01: Okay it’s after eleven. You never sleep in. 

12:45: I am coming over in thirty minutes if I don’t hear from you. 

You reply:

I am fine, I just got home super late. I hope you’re not coming over

Trevor:

You scared me! 

Why didn’t you text me back?

How late were you out

Wait did you go back to his place?????

You groan squeezing your eyes close and drinking a healthy swig of coffee.

You: 

We went for sushi, then went down to the beach. 

Trevor:

That’s all you're giving me! What kinda 1950s dating scene is this?

You chuckle replying:

We stayed at the beach until 3 am. 

Trevor: Wait did you have sex on the beach

You:

TREVOR! 

Trevor:

It’s an important question. Don’t want to find out on the gossip train.

You:

why can’t I have nice things TREVOR. No there was no sex in PUBLIC, we kissed and held hands. Can I not do that????

Trevor: Are you secretly asexual? There is nothing wrong with that. I think it’s romantic. 

You:

I am going to become asexual if it means you stop asking me these questions. 

You could almost hear him laughing at you. 

Trevor:

You like it! 

You snorted and switched messages.

Walton: 

10 am: Hey beautiful, wanted to check in. See how you’re doing this morning. 

11 am: I was wondering about maybe going out to bar a city over next Friday? 

11:10 am: Promise I am not trying to kidnap you.

12:20 pm:  Thought you never slept in?

You:

Hey handsome, sorry I actually slept in. Kept me out past my bedtime.

I would love to go out with you next Friday, fingers crossed they don’t keep us late

You set your phone down, pondering if you still trusted the milk in the fridge to make pancakes. Getting up you get a refill of coffee, phone buzzing. 

Walton: 

If they do we can always go out saturday? Can’t be keeping you up so late. Got make sure you can keep up with this old man. 

You:

Oh I am sure I can keep up with you 😉

Walton:

Careful little lady, I might have to come by and test that theory.

Your face goes bright red and that heat coils low in your belly. 

You: Promises, promises, 

Walton:

If I didn’t have a zoom meeting in ten minutes 😠

You:

Maybe next Friday. 

You’re not sure why you’ve become a tease, but you’re enjoying winding him up. 

Walton:

Monday will be more like it.

You:

😜 Your trailer or mine.

Walton: 

Yours just so Trevor will stop texting me.

You let out a laugh, seemed like Trevor was also enjoying winding him up. You spend the rest of the day chatting with both of them. Sunday is a bit quieter, more zoom calls for Walt and Trevor had gone to Decon’s. 

*** Monday goes by in a blur, Walton keeps his hands to himself when others are around. But it doesn’t stop him from following you behind the food tent to steal kisses. You are now sporting a permanent flush and some of your co-workers are raising eyebrows. You are ever grateful that Trevor has kept his mouth shut. Liz is as pissy as ever but seems to be letting it lay. Katie has slowly warmed up to you again, why you weren’t sure. 

The rest of the week is pretty similar. Early mornings bleed into later evenings, the endless weeks have worn on you. Then Walton slides into your chair with his latest story and you feel like a weight is lifted off of you. The man once more touches you gently and gives you lingering cheek kisses as he goes over to set or costumes.   

Friday night rolls around and it’s going to be a long one. You fiddle with a few of your brushes when the door opens quickly. 

“We are being released. There was a fire on stage, and it looks like we are out at least until Monday,” Liz rolls in looking flustered, her normal perfect facade gone. She looks haggard and frazzled. 

“There was a fire on set?” You ask sitting up and feeling much more awake. Panic shoots down the back of your neck.

“Yep, green sparky left a light on too close to set.” Liz sat in the chair grabbing cleaner. You had stayed in the trailer to start tucking things away as Walton was off-screen for the first three setups. You are out the door before she has time to say more. You stop at costumes knocking at the door. 

Rebeccas opens it and looks down at you, she looks flustered but still has a smile on. “Hey, I am guessing you heard about the fire?”

“Yes, I did,” You say trying not to sound panicked, even though your mind is racing. The thought of him being hurt makes you nauseous. “Umm -is.”

Rebecca looks into the trailer, “Walt. You almost done in there?” There is a bunch of commotion going on in the trailer, with people moving back and forth, and different actors in various stages of undress.

You looked at her puzzled at how she knew you were looking for him. 

Rebecca turns back to you, “He never shuts up about you, so figured that’s why you are here,” She replies, and you immediately feel flustered, clearly rumors are moving again. 

“Oh- umm- Yeah. I just wanted to make sure he was okay.”

Walton pops his head above Rebecca his fingers nimbly button up his shirt. “Be right out.”

You blush and look away, “Sorry, I should probably go.”

Rebeca waved her hand at you, “Your secret is safe with me,” she winked. You wonder not for the first time if you were the only one who was never included in the rumor mill. 

Walton pops down the stairs, and has on grey button-up sleeves rolled up, navy wash jeans. He tilts his head when he looks at you. You let out a sigh seeing him unscathed. 

“You okay?” He asks, his hand touching your shoulder. You nod your head, turning to walk back towards the makeup trailer. You really don’t want to make a scene right now, there were way too many eyes on you both right now. 

“I know I said we should go to the bar tonight,” Walton says, his fingers brushing against yours. You try not to grab his hands, just to know he is still there. “But maybe we should get take out at my place?”

You get to the trailer, unable to stop looking around. He looks right at you, the way he could focus on you was both flattering and unnerving. Especially as you are trying to keep things under wraps. 

“Have to stop and grab a few things first.” You say trying to keep your voice from carrying. “Have you pick me up again?”

He smiles, “I would pick you up any day.”

You are bright red, as you open the door and follow the man into the trailer. 

***

A large paper bag of Chinese food was acquired, along with a couple of bottles of wine. You both devest at the door, slipping off your shoes, and placing the wine on the counter. You watch him move around the kitchen. Practice ease, you watch his muscles move under his shirt. You were tired as anything but being in his kitchen, waiting to eat greasy Chinese food couldn’t have been more perfect. 

You grab plates from him, laying out the smorgasbord board of different food. The two of you scooped a little of everything, before sitting down at the table and pouring some wine. 

“I feel like I should apologize for having you over instead of going out somewhere,” Walton says taking a sip of wine. “I don’t want you to think I am taking advantage of you being here.”

You chuckle, “Don’t know what you mean Mr. Goggins. I thought you invited me to your place to play some chess and listen to swing jazz.”

Walton nearly loses his food at the comment, his hand covering his mouth. “Swing jazz? How old do you think I am?”

“Oh you got to be at least in your seventies,” You tease back taking a bite out of your spring roll. 

Walton coughs, “I didn’t realize you where into grandfathers.”

You choke a little, “Well to be fair,” You wave your hand, “I am usually good with trying anything once.” 

Walton sips on his wine eyebrows raised, “Anything?”

You nod your head, a smile spreading across your face. “Can’t say I don’t like it unless I try it.”

He puts his glass down, watching you carefully as you finish your cup. “I could make some coffee while we clean up.”

You grab his plate stacking it with your own as he grabs the glasses. You two make it over to the kitchen, there is tension in the air as you clean things up. He grabs a French press out of the cupboards aswell as some coffee and cups.

You slide over to the counter and sit on top of it. Feet kicking back and forth as you watch the man ready things.  Flicking the kettle on to heat the water. He comes over and moves himself in between your legs.

“Have I told you how beautiful you are?” He whispers, placing hands on either side of your hips. Face inches from you.

You wrap your hands lazily over his shoulders, opening your legs to let him in closer. 

“No, you haven't today.” You lean in to kiss him, kissing him will never get old.

“You are stunning.” He whispers against your ear. Sending shivers down your spine. The kettle clicks and he's moving away from you. You watch him pour grinds and then water into the press. 

“Why did you wait so long to ask?” You inquire, moving your feet back and forth. Letting yourself briefly wonder if maybe the question was too forward.  

He turned to look at you, bottom lip caught in his teeth. “Umm-”  

Leaving the coffee he came over to you. Cheeks slightly pink, he tucked his hair behind his ear. 

“I - ahh. I didn't think you'd want to go out with me.” 

Your mouth falls open, “Are you serious?”

He shrugs, fingers fiddling with the outer seam of your jeans. You take his hand in yours using the moment to drag him back between your legs. Once he is there, you tip Walton’s head up to look right at you.

“You're so dumb,” You grin leaning in to kiss him. He chuckles and leans into the kiss, strong arms wrapping around you. “I am also dumb, 'cause I thought the same thing about you.”

Walton pulls back looking at you, eyebrows scrunched. “Didn't you just call me dumb? Seems like we both may have missed the sign somewhere along the way.”

You grin one hand finding its way to rub along his jawline. “Took us long enough.”

He smiled, “Trevor is never going to let us live this down.”

You let out a groan, “He is beyond impossible. I am gonna have a small textbook of text messages.”

Walton’s eyes glint, and he pulls his phone out. “Why don't we give him an update.”

You can't help but laugh, “Oh absolutely!” 

Walton flips his phone on turning on the camera he flips it to the two of you. You lean in and kiss him deeply as he clicks the button. The phone is placed on the counter as you wrap your legs around his waist. You pull out a deep moan that rumbles out of his chest when you bite at his bottom lip. It doesn't stop you from pushing your tongue in. Rocking your hips a little, the room feels hot. 

Walton pulls away, breathless, “If you keep doing that, I am liable to forget about our coffee.”

You let out a sigh, “I suppose a little coffee couldn't won't hurt.” You unwrap yourself from him. 

He moves down the counter as you slide off it. He mixes your coffee just the way you like it, handing you the cup as he fixes his own. You wait, watching him work, he turns and gestures toward the living room. You make your way over to the couch.  

Folding yourself up on the end of the sofa, tucking one leg underneath the other. You sip on the coffee, it is delicious and beats any store bought. Walton comes over and sits beside you, taking a long sip of his drink. Looking out the windows you can see part of downtown and the north shore. The lights still dazzling, as the evening wore on. 

“I know, before, I said I wasn’t sure you would want to go out with me,” He said looking out at the window as he spoke. “I tried, unsuccessfully to give you space. But the further I got away the more I missed being near you. Then when we went out for sushi, it all just kinda clicked. This isn’t conventional.” He gestures between the two of you. You hold your cup listening intently. 

“I am, ahh, older than you. And my life is not exactly straightforward. I don’t take relationships lightly, not that this is that. Or.” You can’t suppress the smile as he tries to explain himself. “I am terrible at this. I don’t want to move too fast, but also. I can’t stop thinking about you.” 

You put your cup down, and gesture for him to come closer. He places his cup down beside yours and moves over. Patting your lap, he slips down and lays his head on your lap. You run your hands through his hair, his eyes close and he hums softly against your legs. 

“I can’t tell you what's going to happen,” You say softly, “I am also not good at this, but I am willing to try. However fast or slow you want to go. As for the age thing, I don’t care, it’s never bothered me.” 

Walton’s breath slows and his hand slips under your thigh holding you close. You sit there a while longer, letting him just relax against you. Again you are struck by how simple it is, to just sit here with a warm cup of coffee and the city lights. You could get used to weekends like this. But as always he is moving sitting up and smoothing out his hair, grabbing his cup of coffee and taking a sip. 

“Would you like to come to bed with me?” He asks, you turn away from the lights. His eyes fixed on you, not hungry but curious. 

“I would like that a lot,” You say licking your lips and heart pounding in your chest. 

Walton stands up offering you a hand, which you take, pulling yourself to your feet. The coffee is left on the table as you follow him. Fingers laced together like they are two puzzle pieces. You pass by the guest room and there is a door at the end of the hallway. He opens it and you walk into the large room. There are floor-to-ceiling windows looking out over the sea, a large king-sized bed on a wooden platform. The room is sparse, with two side tables with lamps. A large walk-in closet to your left along with a bathroom beside it. You wonder for a moment how often he has brought others back here. The thought lingers in the back of your mind as you wander over to sit on the edge of the bed. Walton has disappeared into the bathroom.

“I think I have another toothbrush in here,” He calls out, poking his head around the corner. 

You smile and move towards him, “I thought you wanted to take things slow?”

He’s blushing again and handing you the unopened toothbrush, “I–I umm. Just figure I’d offer.” 

You move into the bathroom grabbing some toothpaste off the counter and leaning against it, “I appreciate it, besides don’t want to have coffee breath. Would you happen to have makeup wipes?”

Walton thinks for a moment before he scoots you out of the way, as you brush your teeth. He pops up with a bottle of cleanser and a fresh hand towel. “I knew I had it here somewhere.”

You grin and thank him, he brushes his teeth before disappearing again. You take the moment to clean off your face and neck. Looking into the mirror you got a permanent smile on your face. Letting out a happy sigh you finish up, telling yourself not to put the cart in front of the horses. You walk out and Walton is standing there shirtless, blinds drawn. He slips into a grey cotton t-shirt, that you currently hate, and black sweatpants. Sensing you staring he turns around to see you. 

Chapter seven

*tiny cliffhanger. I always need at least one 😜*

*As always if you'd like to be tagged let me know! *

*reblogs, likes, and comments appreciated! *

[gaspshichat]

hi chat. pearl made me cry at 9:30 in the morning so y'all know what time is it. warning there will be swears [i say the f word ☹️] bc i haven't slept but i'm somehow not sick rn which. hasn't happened in weeks

[and a quick health update: pretty sure i have narrowed down what's making me sick to three possible things. i'm hopefully seeing my doctor soon bc the refill on my meds expires in june. we're so close and i haven't been able to breathe]

.

.

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OH MY GOD. Y'ALL. IF YOU'RE FOLLOWING ME AND SOMEHOW AREN'T A PEARL FAN. HOW ???? GO. GO BE A PEARL FAN. IT'S A THREAT

pearl is funny and kind and caring. there is a reason i gave her 10k bits the other day. she deserves the entire world and more. i don't know what the world did to her that made her so kind

i'm not the only one who has a message though !! here are a few messages from people but i've seen so many in reblogs and tweets and whatnot

.

from my lovely partner tay aka twitter user PandoraRxse: I can’t catch streams very often but your videos always make me smile and I always look forward to a new upload. Keep doing what you’re doing, you’re amazing Pearl

from lovely twitter user SKYBL1NGS: shes like genuinely super funny and has great content that everyone can get into and shes really pretty and i loce pearlecentmoon

from a lovely anonymous twitter user: she is genuinly such an amazing artist, both in minecraft and in real life, all of her art is so lively in a way that i'm not sure how to describe best. also she is such a kind human being :))

from lovely tumblr user sapphicwhimsy: pearl is such a lovely and sweet person. shes SO kind to everyone in chat, new or old, and creates such a lovely environment to hang around in. her streams are the only ones i can sit through fully, and she has SUCH a lovely voice! i could listen to her read the dictionary, because im sure she would make it interesting. she has such a way to make everything interesting! even things like sitting still for thirty minutes can be something interesting in a pearl stream, because shes always got such amazing things to say. shes absolutely beautiful, inside and out, with a kind soul that matches her through and through. the fact that she always tries to read everyone out personally, and tries to pronounce their names correctly - and accepts corrections wholeheartedly - is so nice. and shes so wonderfully accepting to all of her community, and always has well wishes for everyone. shes truly a very wonderful and accepting person, who deserves the world! honestly the sweetest person ive ever came across.

.

anyway onto the next part of why i made this post

HOW THE FUCK IS SHE SO PRETTY. WHAT. IT'S GENUINELY UNFAIR. SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE COULD BE A GODDAMN SCULPTURE

LIKE COME ON. I WISH I COULD DRAW SO I COULD DRAW HER. SHE'S BEAUTIFUL. WHAT THE HELL. LOOK AT HER

featuring other GORGEOUS women. my god. i am so

anyway :)) it took me an hour and a half to write this bc i kept getting distracted. in short. pearl is so amazing and wonderful. it's weird how she remembers things about me and actually cares ???

also. SHE PRONOUNCED MY NAME CORRECTLY ???? I'VE HEARD SUCH TERRIBLE PRONUNCIATIONS BUT PEARL. SHE SAID IT RIGHR FIRST TRY. WHAT. i kind of want to hear how karn would attempt to pronounce it

[bc yes. i'm okay with anyone, including streamers, calling me vyren. you know me better than my dad does. it's okay to call me vy, vyren, gasp, or gasps]

sleepy brain wrote this post and i want to say so much more but i can't. i had a better message when i did my 10k bits message but that thing is long gone. the only way pearl knows about those bits is if she sees this

and to her community: i love y'all. y'all are lovely. thanks for helping make my shitty life a little brighter. the world may not be kind to me, but y'all are. thank y'all for that. y'all are so lovely

pearl, if you see this, sending all the love to you and your three cats. and yes. karn is the third cat

[dummie-writes]

the party walkers

self insert ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* school bus graveyard

words: 4.08k

previous part: a demon inside of my skin

note: woah hey I'm back so soon whattt, anyway. sorry that chapter was kinda more scene setting, we only got to interact with the group at the very end 😭 also, I'd like to say this is gonna be pretty self indulgent for the time being bc idk where I want the story to go 🧍‍♀️keep in mind that while I'm trying to keep it gender neutral, at times y/n may lean more feminine,and this is because I am more feminine. please enjoy :3

ii. a rescue mission

again, there's a tension. there has been for the past minute you've been sitting here. after telling them your name and settling down cross legged on the classroom floor, you kinda expected some questions or something. that blonde kid and ashlyn are still having that weird little staring contest. it's as if everyone wants to start, but no one knows how. like you've passed a test, but they aren't sure if you'll actually pass their little assignment or whatever. you were having nightmares, and eerily, the blonde knew to ask you about them even when you hadn't said you'd been having them. so, they were also having nightmares. at least, from what you could infer. 

“um, okay,” a sandy brunette boy with glasses begins. he's not looking directly at you, but instead at your bag beside you in a spaced out manner, his thumbs tapping the wooden pencil in his hand. “nightmares, monsters, right? what kind of monsters?”

     “like, gray ones? they're kinda big? sharp hands?” you say, still somewhat confused. a robotic voice comes from next to you, and as you turn your head, the tallest of the group has his phone held up, the screen facing you. on it, in black lettering, it asks “humanish?”. you blink, and then nod at it. not much of a talker, apparently. the girl who originally spoke to you, sitting next to Tyler and who you've quickly remembered is his twin sister, though you don't remember her name from the beginning of the year, opens her mouth to speak, but then ashlyn cuts her off. 

     “well, that's weird. what notes do you have on savannah?”

     a second of slight whiplash from the subject change, everyone (except for tyler) gives the freckled girl a weird look. they hadn't expected it either, but they aren't going to interfere. she has a colder tone - not entirely mean, but like she knows how to stick to decisions that she makes. actually, you'd seen her before - this town wasn't where you grew up, but you'd been here since middle school. ashlyn always kept to herself, for what rare times you did see her. the only words that you'd really ever heard from her were “excuse me” “thanks” or just glowering. you didn't know when she got all these friends. 

     you also had friends - unfortunately, they weren't really happy with you at the moment. with the whole “several hours or so in hell” situation, you hadn't really been the greatest companion. one too many times had you had to stay home from a group putting, or just slept straight through. they had a right to be upset with you, especially when you wouldn't communicate and were crabby. 

     “again, not really my fault! what am I supposed to tell them? that I'm bleeding out in the bathroom all night?” but, you know, whatever. 

     you pulled out your notebook, reading through the few notes you had written down since the start of the group project. you wouldn't argue right now. maybe they were just weird, maybe they were all in the same boiling pot you were. either way, the six of them didn't seem open to talking about it, which means another lonely night in the bathroom for you. 

     not for them, though. as you tried to be as quiet as possible on the cold, tiled floor, and then moving to the shower so the blood from your back would trickle down the drain instead, they would have a rather rambunctious evening. 

     “tyler, seriously. if they're here too, we need to get them!”

     “that isn't a risk we should be taking!”

     ash cringed just slightly at the volume of tyler's voice, and picked at the peeling fabric of the bus seat she was in. this argument had been going on for about an hour, stopping them from any sort of progress in terms of supplies, information, or anything, really. aiden was seated in the seat across from herself, foot dangling as he rhythmically tapped the seat, smiling as he usually did. his red eyes swung back and forth between the aggressors, not saying much except for the offhand comment or joke. 

     “guys, what if it was one of us? what if it was taylor?”

     “fields, don't even think about using that kind of an argument. it's cheap, and that's my sister. not a random classmate - who, by the way, might not actually even be here! they could just be having bad dreams! but, no, i’m the crazy one, right?”

    ben shifted uncomfortably, tensing and releasing his fists. tyler was defensive, that much was for sure. truth be told, he in fact did not actually like the idea of possibility leaving you stranded somewhere. it wasn't moral. but he was right, he knew he was right. they didn't have the actual information needed, the possibile required resources, and he wouldn't put taylor in any sort of unnecessary danger like that. not when you lived almost four blocks away from where they already were. despite not saying so, ashlyn agreed almost entirely. she wouldn't lose her entire team saving one person. at the very least, not until they were positive you were actually I'm this other dimension. 

     “remind me again why we didn't just ask them if they were here?” aiden questions, his cheeks rising a little as he stared at tyler in an almost dare to reply. 

     “we won't even tell our parents what's going on. if they're just having nightmares, they'll think we're crazy or on drugs. and in that case, who knows what they'll tell the school, or the police,” ash replies in an even tone, raising an eyebrow as her eyes meet aiden's, and then to taylor as she speaks again. 

     “but it isn't right. you know it's not right. and there was that unexplained scream you heard at the hotel, ash,” taylor points out, throwing her arms out as she paces back and forth. her hair was starting to tangle from all the moment, and a stern look in her eyes told everyone this isn't something she would let go of. at least not thus far. 

     ashlyn sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose and looking down. a quiet pooled in the bus as the ginger thought through the possibilities and risks. taylor was right. they couldn't just leave you wherever you were to rot, possibly die. even if she wasn't a people person, she wasn't a monster. she couldn't let any phantoms hurt you or anyone else in good spirits, that would just be horrible and wrong. she knew tyler wouldn't mind getting you either, if it wasn't such a huge risk, and a major liability if you actually weren't there. 

 

   a small glow emitted from a couple feet away from her, looking up to Ben's phone screen as her hand slid to hold up her head. “we need more info”.

     logan tapped his foot tentatively, his face soft but unagreeable. he had been making a more logical argument, but was emotion driven nonetheless in his words. having another person would be an advantage. it would come with its own challenges, yes - explaining why they had another person hanging out with them to ashlyn's already suspicious parents, keeping track of an entire other human being, the extra general supplies - but having another person who wasn't a phantom on their side was also a benefit. another pair of eyes, hands, ears. more supplies could be carried. 

     not to mention, you are not just a video game character. you're an actual human being, with a life, with sentience. in the end, that's the defining factor. they can't abandon you. but they won't come looking for you without being sure you'll be there when they search. 

     “this is a stupid argument because we aren't actually arguing about saving them, but about when.” 

     taylor looks up to ash, lightening from how upset she was previously, and her shoulders beginning to drop. an unspoken understanding passes through them as everyone else mumbles something of agreement. 

     “and how the hell are we supposed to pull that off? do any of you even have their phone number? we didn't add them to any group chats because we were still in our own world when class ended,” tyler huffed, crossing his arms and leaning back into his chair, a sour expression in the creases of his face and eyebrows. 

     “I could run over there,” 

     everyone stared at Aiden for a second as he smiles in excitement before tyler thwacks him in the back of the head. not hard, but audibly. aiden’s mouth opens slightly, his smile unwavering but now wider as he scoffs in hubris.. “that's not happening, you moron.”

     that next morning is a hard one for you. for one, trying to clean that horrible slash with isopropyl alcohol isn't working. it's making things worse, in fact; the flesh around it is red and dry, it throbs when you move too much, and every so often, it'll crack further down your back because you moved too quickly. not to mention, it hurts like a bitch when you do so. not cleaning it runs the risk of infection, but honestly, you're too exhausted to care anymore. your mind is messed up, clearly. talking to a psychologist isn't an option, you'd get put in an asylum before you could finish your sentence. this was just your life now. and you would properly clean it later. 

     walking into class, you felt the jab of a finger at your back. jumping, you turn around to give a dirty look at whoever was giving you a difficult time, before realizing that it was aiden, from your group project. you take a breath and smile. “hey, how are you?”

     despite it being a very normal question that usually results in a “im fine”, aiden clark is not a normal person (to be fair, you aren't at this point either), and answers with a much more winded explanation. 

     “oh! I'm doing pretty great, haha. last night's homework wasn't all too difficult or anything, and since you're having trouble with your work, you can copy off mine if you'd like. speaking of last night, how'd you sleep? you know, with sleeping issues and everything? sorry about my friends yesterday, they can be a bit argumentative. it think it's funny lol.”

     at this point, ben, who you remember now as being introduced as aiden's cousin and is walking behind, looks at you, nodding and giving a small wave. you, in return, smile widely at him. 

     “well, aren't you just a ray of fucking sunshine or something,” you hear an irritated, grumpy voice from next to you, and then a yelp, followed by “ow! don't pinch me!” and a “then be nice!”

     turning to taylor and tyler, the long haired of the two smiles in a nervous apology. “sorry, he's always kinda cranky in the morning. he didn't mean that, I swear.” as taylor tucks a piece of hair behind her ear and chuckles softly, you notice she has a soft sparkle in her eye. that, and the fact that she has been nothing but kind to you in the entirety of the while you've interacted with th pushes her to be your favorite for the time being. 

     “it's okay, i'm not all too great for the first couple hours too. coffee helps, would you like some? do you have a cup or something?” you're being a little over-nice on purpose, mainly to make him feel bad for being a bit of an ass- but it's a genuine offer. he wasn't downright cruel, just a little mean. and the eye bags on top of his cheeks tell you that taylor wasn't lying about him not being a morning person. 

     tyler scowls, wrinkling his nose and glancing at the thermos you have on your desk. it's your favorite color, and the metal is warm with the creamy, light brown coffee inside. for a second, his face drops a little, and he looks like he's genuinely considering your offer, before rolling his eyes scoffing. “I'm good.”

     rough start for a group that hasn't entirely accepted you as part of their project, but he didn't cuss you out a throw a shoe at you, so you'll count it as a win! you don't have much time to process, because you turn your head again and jump at the bright write paper, half an inch from your face. holding it is a pale hand, and connected to that hand is aiden, wide eyed. actually, that might just be his face. you're starting to think he looks like that more than he doesn't. oh, yeah, actually, that's the homework he was talking about. you had only gotten a couple questions done last night before giving up, and trying to comfort yourself with hot chocolate before midnight arrived. 

     aiden was still looking at you expectantly, so you gingerly pinched the paper, smiling at him again as you took out your own unfinished work, and compared them side by side so you could at least not down most of them before mr. thomas got to class. as you did so, a bright yellow post-it note caught your attention, and in messy handwriting, it reads:

     “what are your nightmares about????”

     your eyebrows knit themselves, and glancing up at aiden, he's already looking at you. he turned away to talk to ben about something almost immediately, but it makes you wonder if he knows something you don't. you peel it off, filling out a few of the questions before glancing at the note again, and flipping it over to scrawl down your response of “why do you want to know so badly”. instead of a blank back, you find a phone number, which you can only theorize belongs to aiden. snatching up your phone, you pat the number in, and then hurry to finish what of the homework you can. after filling out what you think will get you a passing grade, you roll up the work and tap the blond on the shoulder with it. 

     he stops mid sentence to turn toward you, smile widely, take his homework back, and then continues talking to ben. all just as mr. thomas walks through the classroom door.

     actually, the fact that he gave you that post it note makes you giggle a little. it looks like an ad for a psychic. you nonchalantly doodle and scribble on your paper during the lecture, nearly falling asleep a couple times before you're all dismissed to sit in groups. you pause for a moment, glancing to your old group. brandy looks in your direction, smiling and standing up to walk over. oh wait what no don't -

     “hey! listen, so, about yesterday,” she whispered speedily, a note book in her right hand, tapping her pen on the cover with her left. you purse your mouth, nodding. awkward. “I'm sorry if I was being mean. I failed this class last year, and I can't repeat it again. I know that's harsh, but I'm not taking any chances.”

     a silent, uncomfortable nod and pause later, she continues. “I copied down a bunch of my notes for you, because I hope you can still pass. I'm sorry if I made you mad. I'll just, go, um, yeah.”

     a second later, you're holding a few pieces of lined paper to your chest and watching her run off and back to her group. a sinkhole opens in your chest, and you bite the inside of your cheek. would ashlyn's group be expecting you? would they talk to the teacher about getting you removed too, since they might not have wanted to fail as terribly as they already were? your eyes find their circle, where three pairs of eyes are looking to yourself, and there's a large enough gap by taylor's seat for your own. 

a soft grin presses onto your cheeks, relief emanating from you when you sigh, grabbing your chair to haul it over. at least you had a solid group for your project now, even if it was going to fall apart. and, even if your group members were a tad, let's say, bold in how long they stared at you for. not in an entirely creepy way, but in a puzzled way, like you were something to be figured out. 

     “um, he gave you his phone number, right?” logan confirmed, pushing his glasses up his nose with his index finger while he spoke. after the glint from the ceiling light left his glasses, you realized his eyes weren't entirely blue, but had a twinge of turquoise to them. or aqua. something like that, either way, they weren't a strict blue. you acknowledge his question by pulling your phone from out of your jean pocket, shaking it a little. “yep, it's all right here.”

     “good! be-”

     “we have something we should really talk about with you. a few questions.”

     “oh my fucking - you're making it sound like we're a cult.”

     “aren't we kinda?? at this point lmao??”

     “aiden, you're not helping.”

     “excuse me?” your features are slightly scrunched in both confusion and amusement - you're assuming this has something to do with the whole weird “what's in your nightmares” note, and on its own this exchange might actually kinda freak you out. but the way tyler looks like he's about to pop a vein has you beaming and nearly laughing. not to mention, aiden is just kinda, weird. a bit creepy too, but mostly weird. 

     “hey idiots, shut up! it was your guys’ decision to do it this way, and now you won't even talk with them about it properly!” tyler gives everyone a dirty look, noticeably glancing at ben and then not glaring at him. ben has a flat expression, and just glances at aiden, who is already chuckling to himself and looking back at him. 

     “ahem,” ashlyn clears her throat, pointing her eyes at you. as you turn to face her back, tyler huffs, crossing his arms and sitting back in his seat, glaring daggers at you even though you. haven't actually done anything. “so, these nightmares.”

     it's interesting that she's the one to bring this all to a head, after specifically dodging the subject yesterday in class. 

     “tell me about them.”

     when she puts it like that, it feels a lot more individual. you haven't really talked a whole bunch to ashlyn banner, even when you guys have been paired together. she was sorta… floaty. 

     “well, uh, what do you want to know?” you feel stupid for asking, but they were the ones who put you on the spot. and who are also glaring down at you, mostly in a friendly way. you think, at least. it's starting to get a bit stuffy. 

     “what color are the skies?” 

     “kinda, red. typically. but I feel like that's sort of normal. for nightmares.”

     this was weird. this was so entirely strange, actually. maybe you were too sleep deprived to actually notice, but the fact that they're dissecting you like a bug isn't normal. especially when they keep sharing glances like that! 

     “okay, hold on. what's going on? I think I should get to know why you guys are trying to scoop my soul apart with your eyes or something,” you stab a dirty look at tyler, who rolls his eyes and looks away. the rest kinda lose their gaze, sights now wandering the classroom- of course, this is excepting aiden, who's still staring at you. oh well. you kinda expected that at this point. 

     ashlyn gives a low sigh, clenching her teeth together and crossing her arms. her fingers tap on her jacket, and aiden leans over to smoosh himself into her shoulder- which she seems irritated by, but doesn't do anything to push him off because he starts speaking. 

     “I don't think we're getting anywhere with guessing games guys.” his eyelids are low, and he puts his hands behind his head, crossing his legs to put them on ben's lap like he's relaxing. that's when ash gives him a hard shove with her other arm, and he lands swiftly on the floor, drawing a giggle out of taylor. “hey! I'm right! don't push me :(.”

     “I hate to say it, but we might need to be just straightforward here,” tyler interjected, glancing at ash. “that's not a good idea, wh-”

     “hello! hi! I'm still here!” you interrupt, your palms facing upward out you wave your arms around. disbelief crosses your face, and you're about to laugh because, what the fuck? what do they know, and what are they not telling you - and why are they being so rude about it! “I would appreciate someone being straightforward with me! actually! if my opinion matters at all here!”

     “of course it matters!” taylor responds almost immediately, her shoulders dropping and her eyes becoming soft. ben stops for a second, signing “yes” in consensus. for the first time, logan speaks up, his words muddled together too quickly for you to understand for a second. 

     “yeah okay so theresthislike alternative dimensions thingandwedontactuallyknow what'sgoingonbutwould youhappentoknowhatwe're talkingabou-”

     “dude, breathe, what the fuck,” you answer, eyebrows tilted in more concern than anything else. while logan wasn't the type to talk so quickly he didn't enunciate his sentences, he didn't want to be stopped by any of the group - specifically tyler, who, surprise, you'll never guess, was glaring at him. 

    

     “... did you say alternate dimension?”

     “yeah lol.”

     “and what exactly does he mean by that?”

     “exactly what i, um, said. there's a shift, it starts at midnight, and we're there for seven hours. only seven minutes actually pass, but, uh, no one actually gets any sleep at that point.”

     that is… exactly what your little nightmare issue sounds like. 

     “the red skies, the phantoms-” who you're assuming are those demon things. “-they all match with our little, uh, nightly problem. the only thing that doesn't match up is how on earth you're there too. we know what caused us falling through - but why are you there?” logan asks, and the more he talks, especially about something he knows, the more he seems less shy. tentative, sure, but more confident in his words. it makes your heart drop into the pit of your stomach. 

     if he's serious about this, maybe they aren't playing some joke on you- which was already unlikely, but you've gotta cope somehow. if there are who knows how many other people in that little hell hole of an evening, then it isn't only you that you need to worry about, and you can't just hole up in the bathroom if there are others too. 

     “when did you start going?” aiden asks, poking you in the back again so you turn to him. 

     “that night at the hotel after the field trip.”

     “hmmm. anything weird happen?”

     “i mean, I went with my group. and I was kinda lagging behind and got tossed up with another group who was touring some haunted house because the lady thought I was with them.”

     “... what house?”

     “ummmm, seed house? something weird like that? ‘s’ somethi-”

     “the sorrel weed house. “

     that time, ashlyn didn't ask, but stated. it was a ghost of her usual, stronger tone. 

    

     “you must have gotten tossed up with our group.”

     the cold bathroom tile that you sat on was uncomfortable when you awoke that night, but the air was chilled with excitement. you were getting busted out. you'd have to do the more difficult part of maneuvering out of the house with what ashlyn and her group called “phantoms”, as well as trying to grab some stuff on your way out. blankets, first aid supplies, food, bags- anything you could really get your hands on. but escape was everyone's first priority. which is why your ear is pressed so hard to the cheap wooden door, and your breathing is as quiet as you can force it to be. you're listening for footsteps. or tapping. or whatever other noises might hint to otherworldly existence. 

     you hadn't been out of this bathroom in your entire time here. had you been hungry? yeah. but… what else were you supposed to do? you didn't exactly have a group to watch your back while you grabbed a lunchable from the kitchen. 

     nothing. nothing for the past ten minutes. the others should be here in about twenty. that's how long you have. so, with that in mind, you focus on your first location: your bedroom, where your phone, backpack, and blankets were. 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

that's right, get part 1'd. hope you enjoyed

[gaintsnowflake]

𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐄𝐓 𝐁𝐎𝐘

PAIRING : Anthony Lockwood x gn!reader

ONESHOT : in which after a breakup a sweet stranger comforts you

TRIGGERS : flashbacks of cheating, a breakup, and being kicked-out

A/N : This is aged up so that Lockwood is nineteen for the purposes of I don't know why the reader would move in with her boyfriend if they are under eighteen, also please do not let random sad strangers off the street into your house no matter how stunning they are or vice versa. Sorry if this is badly written, currently going through a lot, so I didn’t get to go through it as much as I would have liked. This is mainly fluff, but their is of course angst because of the ex-boyfriend.

WORD COUNT : 1.7k

masterlist

"ARE YOU ALRIGHT?"

A stranger's voice took me away from my thoughts as I continued to sit on the kerb of Portland Row, sobbing.

"Oh- uh, sorry. I will be," I attempted to whip away the tears streaming down my face, failing as only more left my eyes.

It must have been a sad sight, seeing someone late teens, early twenties, sitting on the kerb crying their eyes out. Especially since I have been out here for well over two hours. And even worse it had to only be a few minutes till curfew. 

Just as I thought I had successfully gotten the stranger to go away I heard someone sit next to me. I looked up slightly analyzing the boy who has sat down. He was dressed very formally as if he owned some sort of business, but he couldn't have been much older than me if at all. His eye bags were prominent, he looked as if he hadn't slept in days. His tie was a completely different colour from his socks, the tie being blue and his socks being bright pink. He gave me a grin as he put his hand on my shoulder.

"Lockwood, Anthony Lockwood," he greeted me. "Now, why don't you tell me what's wrong? I can't have a girl crying out front of my house, may draw away business." He laughed lightly at my joke before asking if I was okay.

Before I could answer, I just started crying once again. Tears flooded my vision as I leaned into him. Which I probably shouldn't do, but I just continue to cry as he starts to hug me allowing me to cry on his shoulder.

After a few minutes, I pulled away, whipping away the tears again, this time they nearly completely stopped. I looked at his shirt, the white of the dress shirt was nearly see-through as my tears soaked into it.

"Sorry," I looked away from him, fidgeting with my fingers."

It's okay, love-" a few tears spilt at the nickname but I was quick to whip them away- "What happened?"

I took a deep breath, preparing myself to relieve the memories of about three hours ago.

---

"Patrick? Patrick, I am home," I called as I stood in the doorway.

Our door was left unlocked, that should have been my first red flag. The second should have been the rushed movement I heard from our room.

Hesitantly, I walked into our room, preparing to be met by a criminal of some sort, but instead, I was met with my boyfriend of two years naked, trying to hide another woman in our closet.

My world stopped and shattered at the sight. It felt like my heart had been crushed into thousands of pieces and then stomped on.

My hands ran into my hair as I began to pull at it. My eyes closed as I felt the tears start.

"y/n," I heard his voice say, trying to calm me down as he stepped towards me. I only walked backwards as I opened my eyes and put one of my hands in front of me and the other around my body. "I can, I can explain I promise."

"What is there to explain, Patrick? What is there to explain?" The words out of my mouth sounded venomous as I backed out of the room.

"Look, I have needs," He started, almost acting as if he was the victim in this twisted crime. "You weren't satisfying me, I needed someone who could. Please, love, just understand."

"Oh my god. Oh my god! You are acting like you are the victim here! Like you didn't fucking do anything wrong. Like you weren't just fucking cheating on me."

"Y/n, listen."

"No, I am not fucking listening for you to try and tell me how much of a victim you are and that I shouldn't blame you for going and sleeping with another. How long has this been going on?"

"Y/n..."

"How long has this been going on?"

"Six months," his voice was now rising at me as well as this was beginning to turn into a screaming match.

"Is she the only one?" Silence. "Answer me, Patrick. Is she the only one?"

"No, of fucking course not."

"Oh my fucking god. Do you know how low this is?"

"I have needs, y/n, you couldn't fucking meet them so I found someone who could."

"You fucking cunt. I can't believe you. I honestly can't believe you. Going off with another girl because I didn't turn you on enough? Is that all a relationship is? A sex life?"

"No, y/n, I still love you that's why I never left. That's why I never-"

"Obviously you don't fucking love me enough, to go fucking other people behind my back. You should have just fucking broken up with me."

"Fine then. We are over. Get the fuck out of my house."

"You're kicking me out just like that?"

"Yes, get the fuck out. Now. You can come back for your shit another day."

"Fuck you, Patrick, fuck you."

With that I stormed out of the house, tears streaming down my face. I sobbed knowing that I didn't have a place to stay the night. No family to go home to. I ran away for him. 

After ten minutes of walking, I found a small street called Portland Row. I sat down on the corner, my face in my hands as I sat on the kerb.

---

"My boyfriend, well ex-boyfriend, I just caught him cheating on me. He kicked me out after we had a screaming match. I just have nowhere to go for the night," I explained to Lockwood as he kept a hand on my arm, rubbing it as if he was trying to comfort me. "So I just have been out here, trying to figure everything out."

"Come on, you can stay at mine for the night. There is only two minutes till curfew so we should get you safe," he told me as he stood up. He outstretched his hand, trying to help me up.

"I can't ask that of you... Besides, how will I know you aren't a murderer?" I stared at him, staying seated.

"I assure you I mean no harm, I am just a young man who runs an agency to help a pretty woman out. Now would you like to come inside and get some rest? I have tea if you would like."

I sat there for a few seconds before taking his hand. Staying with him was safer than sleeping on the streets, I know that. Besides, I am exhausted from the long hours I worked and all of the crying.

"Great, come on, let's get inside."

Lockwood led me inside one of the houses on Portland Row, it looked very homey. The thing that caught me off guard was an umbrella rack that had been used to house rapiers, which I then noticed the rapier Lockwood had on him.

I heard a few other voices talking in another room, but Lockwood told me to pay no mind and it was just his co-workers, reminding me that he did say he runs an agency. He led me to a room with two couches and a chair. It was fairly messy, but it gave a rather lived-in feeling. I was instantly at ease, admiring the old house.

"I'll be right back, I am going to go get you a blanket and pillows," Lockwood walked out leaving me in the room by myself.

 As I sat there on my own I began to run my fingers on the objects on the mantle, the couches, and the table. Finally, I sat down on the couch, which was ten times comfier than I expected.

The tears in my eyes had completely disappeared now. I felt a lot better than a few moments ago.

"Hey, I am back! I brought multiple since I don't know how many you would like."

Lockwood looked at me as he began to set down three pillows, two on the floor and one on the couch. He then put down a folded blanket next to me on the couch.

"I don't think I can thank you enough Lockwood, really, this means so much."

"No worries. You get yourself settled for the night, alright? In the morning, I'll make you some tea and we can talk about it."

"Yes, yes, I will pay you back as soon as I can."

"Don't worry about that right now, just let's focus on getting you back on your feet. Now get some rest, alright," He gave a smile, very similar to the grin he gave me outside.

"Thank you, again, I don't know what I would've done if you didn't give me this opportunity."

Lockwood went to leave but only after a few steps he turned around to face me. He walked back and kneeled down to my level as I sat on the couch, he took my hand in his, caressing it. 

"I am sorry about your boyfriend, I can tell you didn't deserve it, you seem like a great person. Stay strong, that dick didn't deserve you. There are better people out there, I am sure you will find them. Just keep your head up."

I looked at him, tears brimming my eyes as I gave him a half smile. "I don't know what I did to deserve to you meet you, but I am so happy I did."

"Get some sleep, alright?" His smile turned softer as he began to stand up.

Before he could go, I grabbed his wrist preventing him to leave. He turned to face me, once again, but this time a confused look played on his face.

"Could you," I stopped myself realizing how odd of a request this would be. I let go of his wrist before continuing. "Nevermind, it's fine. Have a good night Lockwood."

A look of worry crossed his face briefly, "What is it you wanted to ask?

""No, no, stupid honestly."

"Are you sure?"

"It's just... I haven't slept alone in two years. Could you stay?" I closed my eyes bracing to either be kicked out of the house or yelled at. "I'm sorry, I know it's asking a lot, you don't have to say yes."

"Of course, I will stay," He smiled at me once again before sitting next to me. He rests his hand on my knee as I lay my head on his shoulder. "Just, go to sleep, I will be here, don't you worry."

I smiled at him before closing my eyes. I slowly went to sleep, my mind nearly completely distracted from my breakup, by the boy I was resting on. I am so happy that I found such a SWEET BOY.

[bedlamsbard]

I know this is kind of out of nowhere but for the longest time I was super weird and mentally dismissive of your burning out of Star Wars because I was someone who survived the OEU's insanity back in the day and managed not to burn out of Star Wars in the face of ridiculous nonsense like the Yuuzhan Vong and Killiks, so if I could survive that, you were of course entitled to dislike Star Wars but I still found it silly. Anyway I just finished watching Tales of the Jedi(Resolve) and I Get It Now.

...I recognise that may not be the most hinged thing to say to someone I don't actually know, and apologise for my mild to moderate insanity; I slept three hours, am very sick, it's shark week, and my brain seized on you as someone who'd Get It and who I had been hard on in my thoughts in the past, but, like, none of that actually affected you until I randomly said it? So anyway sorry for babbling at you like that lmfao, I'll stop talking now

Okay. I've been thinking about these since I saw them; I saw the first one before the second one arrived, which was a hell of a thing to wake up to since I saw it first thing in the morning. While my usual policy is to leave messages along these lines in my inbox, I was genuinely upset and wanted to respond once I had a more coherent reaction than "why me, gods, why does this always happen to me."

So, first of all, I'm sorry that you had an installment in canon that didn't do it for you; it happens to the best of us and there are very few people in fandom who uncritically (or even critically) enjoy everything in canon, especially in a fandom as big and long-running as Star Wars.

It's also very common for people to fall out of love with a fandom, even a fandom they've been in for a very long time; I would say that fen who have consistently been in one fandom for an extended period of time are probably rarer than those who haven't. It's not always because there is one installment that is just The Worst; often that's just a tipping point for fen who have been on the edge for a while. (Ask your average former MCU fan who left after Avengers Endgame.) Other times fen just drift away from a fandom without a reason to push them out. Maybe their favorite characters have died, maybe the canon is no longer telling stories they're interested in even if none of those stories are "bad," maybe it's a closed canon and without new stories there's nothing to keep them there; there's any number of factors.

I had a very dramatic breakup with Star Wars three years ago, and it was about three years after I really should have gotten out of the fandom, because I had not been having a good time for a while at that point. And honestly, considering that I hadn't had a healthy relationship with either Star Wars or the fandom for a while before that, for various reasons that go well beyond what was happening in canon, arguably I should have gotten out even earlier. However, I'm monofannish to a fault and I really needed something that would actually kick me to a new fandom -- which meant it couldn't come from Star Wars.

I don't really dislike Star Wars as a whole. There are individual installments that I quite dislike, there are some that I still love, and the vast majority of Star Wars I'm neutral on. I do however have a very fucked up relationship with Star Wars, including the canon, the PTB, and the fandom itself. I have gotten regular abuse on Wake and Gambit for the past ten years, which really screwed up my relationship with AO3 and with the prequel era. There is canon that I really, really dislike, some of it because it personally does nothing for me (the ST), some of it because from my point of view, it completely fucked over a story I love (Rebels S4, TCW S7, some other stuff that contradicts stuff from the EU I love; I came out of the EU too), some of it because I just plain don't like it (THR, most of the comics), and some of it because watching it just plain made me feel like I was being gaslit, which is not something I say lightly (Mando is the worst offender, but there are others). A lot of these are problems that could come out of any fandom, especially a large, long-running, multi-media fandom; I know a lot of Marvel people who have very similar problems, though I think the scale tends to be slightly different there just because the canon is set up differently.

When I switched fandoms, I had to recalibrate my entire relationship to fandom, to canon, to AO3, and to how I interacted with all of them. I still have to check myself in most of those places because my relationship with Star Wars had screwed me up so much. I had to train myself into being able to post on AO3 again; I do talk regularly about how a lot of what I write is shaped by trying to avoid getting the kind of reactions I got and still get from my Star Wars fic, even years later. I have to make conscious decisions not to engage with every part of the canon without feeling like a failed fan, especially the installments I'm pretty sure I'll dislike, because I tried to do that in Star Wars and it regularly messed me up. As a cosplayer, I still have a fairly bad reaction to even seeing the word "approvable," and it took a while for me not to have a similar reaction to "screen-accurate." I'm still destashing most of my Star Wars merch and right now, my reaction to seeing new Marvel merch isn't "ooh, would I wear/use this?" it's "when I inevitably have a horrendous breakup with this fandom will I be able to resell it?" which is not a really healthy relationship to have with a fandom. (I have mostly moved off this but not entirely.) I knew that Star Wars had screwed my relationship with Disney World, when I had a panic attack on Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind because I was so terrified that it was going to be ~necessary canon, even though Marvel has never operated that way; Star Wars does with Galaxy's Edge, which I don't really like being in anymore either.

And yes, I'm aware all of these are an extreme overreaction to getting out of a fandom. I'm not happy about it either and I wish it wasn't happening. It's better now than it was a couple years ago and I'm frankly glad I'm not in the fandom anymore; I'm happy for people who are or who have gotten back into it and are having a good time. I am not one of them; I may some day be one again, but probably not anytime soon.

But even if I didn't have this specific fucked up relationship with Star Wars, a fandom I have not been in for three years at this point, sometimes people just burn out on a fandom. I'm not a CSI:NY fan anymore, either. (Which my last big fandom prior to Narnia, which I just drifted away from. I've only been in five big writing fandoms over twenty years.)

[jut-and-dae-enthusiast]

LDR Struggles: Chapter 1 (Illness)

You get sick. How would you ldr skz bf react?

Part 1: Hyung Line

Warnings: being sick, throwing up, talk of taking medication, mentions of food

Chan:

Channies head lifted from his desk, jolted awake by the buzzing of his phone. He had fallen asleep in the studio- again. His eyes barely open, he reached for the device and furrowed his brow. You had tried to call him, apparently, but he must have just missed it. Without a thought, he calls you back, holding the phone to his ear.

“Hullo?” You answered, the congestion obvious in your voice.

“Are you okay?” Chan was fully awake now, concerned for his partner.

“Uh, yeah.” You coughed for a moment and then spoke again. “I have a pretty gross cold though. I just wanted to hear your voice. But you must be busy.”

“You don’t sound good at all, baby.” He sighed, wracking his brain for something he could do. His options were very limited. “Do you need anything? I can have it sent to you?” You coughed again, groaning softly in pain.

“I have all the medicine and stuff I need. I just need to *cough* rest and get better. Sorry to have worried you.” Chan bit his lip, looking down at his shoes.

“I hate this, being so far away. It’s killing me knowing that you have to be in so much pain all by yourself.” He scratches the back of his head, furiously blinking away the tears welling in his eyes.

“It’s not *yawn* your fault. It’s just how it has to be for now. I love… you…” You trail off, your voice soon replaced by gentle snores, indicating to Chan that the call was clearly over.

“Love you too.” He smiled softly to himself and ended the call. He sat quietly for a moment before grabbing his phone again and pulling up a food delivery app, sending some warm soup to your house before proceeding with his work.

Minho:

After ignoring whoever was incessantly calling you, you finally answer it with a weak “Hello?”

“Hey! Why have you been ignoring me?!” The loving voice of your boyfriend boomed through the speakers, almost making your eyes water. You frantically tried to turn the volume down, but the room was suddenly too bright.

“Have… Migraine… Softer… Please.” You plead with him, holding the phone a good distance from your aching head.

“Oh.” He’s quiet for a moment. He then speaks again, much softer this time. “I’m sorry, love. I hadn’t heard from you since yesterday and got worried. Is it a bad one?” All you can do is hum in response, trying to hide under your blankets for any sort of relief. “You ate today, right? You need to eat something even though you may not feel like it.” He’s quiet for a moment, but you can hear him softly reading something to himself. “I made a list of the foods that can help you feel better. I’m going to order you something and have it sent there.”

“Min, you don’t have to do that. You must be busy.” You protest, daring to poke your head from your blanket bubble.

“You’re right, I am busy.” He agrees. “But I know you won’t eat unless I feed you when you’re like this. And since I’m not there, having it brought to you is the best I can do.” After a few more quiet moments, he sighs softly. “Okay, it’s on the way. Go get some water, stretch a little, then eat everything I sent to you. Once you’ve done all of that, you can go back to bed. Deal?”

“Deal.” You smile softly, hesitantly crawling out of bed.

“I have to get back, but I expect text updates.” His voice is stern but you can feel his love.

“I love you, Minho.” You mutter softly, a smile resting on your face now.

“You better.” He teases and then follows with a quick “I love you too.” Before hanging up.

Changbin:

Being on different sides of the world usually meant that you would bombard Changbin with funny Tiktoks while he slept and he would do the same to you. So, naturally, when he received one from you just as he was about to send you one, he frowned and called you.

“Why are you up at this hour?” He asked as soon as you picked up.

“Hi baby to you too.” You rasp, your voice deeper and scratchier than usual.

“Are you sick?” He sat up from the spot he had been laying on the floor (to stretch out his back or something like that), worry evident on his face.

“Ah, you caught me.” You chuckle and then wince at the pain. “I got strep throat from one of my nephews, so it hurts a lot right now to swallow or do anything really. It’s been waking me up around this time for the past few days.”

“You went to the doctor, though, right?” He asks gently, trying his best not to nag.

“Yup. And I’ve got all the medication and cough drops I need. And I’m drinking a ton of water.” You inform him proudly. You can hear him sigh a bit, the silence on his side of the phone extremely loud. “Binnie? You there?”

“Why didn’t you tell me? Were you really going to try and hide it from me?” He sounds hurt and you can almost perfectly imagine how his face looks: pouted lip with sad eyes and furrowed brows.

“Bin, I just… I’ve had to take care of this stuff myself for all of my adult life. It’s kind of just an automatic response to just handle it quietly at this point. I live alone and no one has the time to baby me.” You explain gently, a dry cough ending your sentence.

“Someday, when we get married, I’m gonna baby you so much whenever you get sick. I promise.” He says with a tone of voice that’s so cute you can’t help but swoon.

“I look forward to it, baby.”

Hyunjin:

You jumped awake, lifting your head from the cool bathroom floor, sweat dampening your hair around your face and on your neck. Your stomach lurched and you clung to the toilet, dry heaving since everything had come up hours ago but your stomach hadn’t gotten the memo. Your phone buzzed from the kitchen counter and, to your embarrassment, your boyfriend was trying to FaceTime you. With no excuse, you accepted the call and pointed the camera to the ceiling.

“Hey, my love. What’s up?” You tried to make your voice sound normal, head resting against the wall.

“Hm? Where’s my pretty girlfriend?” He muttered, looking closely at the screen. You rolled your eyes and brought the top of your head into frame.

“I’m right here.”

“Why are you sitting in the bathroom? Something’s wrong here.” He pressed and you could see his lips purse together. You yielded, too tired to lie to him. You pull the phone down and show your entire face, wiping the sweat from your forehead. “Whats going on, my love?” He asked softly, seeing that you’re not well.

“I think I ate something bad when I was out with my friends last night. It hurts so badly and I can’t keep any food down.” You closed your eyes and sighed.

“Aw, honey, I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do to help?” He asked and guilt bubbled in your chest. You knew what he was feeling, that useless feeling while your love is in pain. Too far away to do anything or to even help. You slowly stood and walked to your bed, feeling better even just having your boyfriend here with you like this. As you laid down, you looked at the screen and smiled softly.

“Can you just sing for me, Hyune? Sorry that’s cringe, I just-“ You immediately felt embarrassed by your request, not thinking about what he might be doing right then.

“Of course, love of my life. Are you comfy?” He looks at you with a small smile, propping his device against something and scrolling through his iPad for backtracks. “Any requests, pretty?” His voice is soft and you can see how happy he is to be helping you feel better.

[thesoulesscollection]

Choc Centered Incorrect Quotes

It's been a while since I've done incorrect quotes from a few cool generators and this is for fun. This is mostly Choc centered, unsurprising I know. I may make more, who knows 

Aidan & Calypso belong to @bluetorchsky (Hope you don't mind this & tagging you. I was anxious this would be ooc. These two especially the first, I feel would be closer-ish with Choc)

Tw: Implied Alcoholism, Implied Reckless Behavior 

Reginald: What is the one thing I told you not to do?

Choc: Burn the house down.

Reginald: And what did you do?

Choc: I made dinner.

Reginald:

Choc:

Reginald:

Choc: And burnt the house down.

*** 

Choc: I'm feeling it! What am I feeling? Death, probably.

*** 

Reginald: Choc has quite the talent for drama

Macbeth: You should have seen them when they were younger

*** 

Choc: My knee just cracked so loudly that I half expect it to glow in the dark tonight.

*** 

Calypso: Are you sober?

Choc: I'm moderately functional

Calypso: I’ll take that as a no

*** 

Calypso: Are you drunk?

Choc: Only in the spirit of Christmas!

Macbeth: And the spirit of whisky.

*** 

Choc: I slept for almost 12 hours but I might still be tired so let's go for 12 more just in case.

Aidan: Choc, that's a coma.

Choc: Sounds festive.

*** 

Aidan: Man, I only ever see you awake, do you ever shut down or stop running?

Choc: Oh, I’m always running

Aidan: The question is from what

*** 

Choc: Okay. I get it. You've had a really hard time lately, you're stressed out, seven people died-

Reginald: Twelve, actually.

Choc: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that?

Reginald: Yours!

Choc: That's right: no one's.

*** 

Right: This is a mistake

Choc, enthusiastically: A mistake we're going to laugh about one day!

Right: But not today

Choc, still enthusiastic: Oh, no. Today's going to be a mess

*** 

Mr. Macbeth: That's not funny.

Choc: I thought it was funny.

Mr. Macbeth: You don't count. You started laughing in the middle of a funeral because you started thinking of a meme you saw on Facebook.

*** 

Choc: I’ve been sleeping so little the past few nights that when I go to the alarm app, I click on the “power nap” button. I don’t set up alarms, I set up timers, Aidan. 

*** 

Macbeth: My partner must be top of the line, graceful, organized-

Choc: Hey guys! I- *trips*

Macbeth:

Macbeth: I want that one.

*** 

Choc: We have fun, don’t we, Mac?

Macbeth, shaking: I have never been more stressed out in my entire life until now.

*** 

Macbeth: What, you wanted me to say no?

Macbeth: How can you say no to that face?

Macbeth: Look. *Holds a groggy, half awake Choc in front of them*

Macbeth: Try saying no to that face.

Choc: :)

Right, genuinely trying: …

Macbeth: That's what I thought.

*** 

Macbeth: Choc is a perfect cinnamon scone who’s never done anything wrong in their entire life!

Reginald: Never done anything wrong?! They set a city block on FIRE!

*** 

Aidan: What scares you the most?

Everyone else:

Everyone, simultaneously: Choc on caffeine.

Aidan: And Choc...?

Choc: … Me on caffeine?

***

Reginald, talking to Henry: Well Henry, whenever I’m about to do something, I think ‘would Choc do that?’ and if they would, I do not do that thing.

Henry: …

Choc, from the distance: They’re not wrong though!

*** 

Reginald: We lost Choc. Can you track them?

Macbeth: What, do you think I have them microchipped or something? 

Reginald: Well, do you?

Macbeth: Yeah, hold on.

[darkstar225]

Twice's 10th member helps her dear Tzuyu unnie with a nightmare

A/N: Heyyy, I'm trying to make up for the time I'm gone lol! Sry for taking so long to post :D I hope that the anon who gave me this idea on Tumblr likes it!

The request: hi unnie, can i have a request that Tzuyu had a bad dream about the Twice 10th member dead. So Tzuyu rush to the 10th member and cried out. But the member didnt listen to her. Later at the night the 10th member wants to go out but Tzuyu didnt let her

PS: Tysm for everyone who reads what I write, I hope I can bring a smile to your faces every time I post! I'd like to thank whoever sent me this idea 'cause I loved to write it <3

__________________________________________________________

The moon cast a gentle glow over the city, the night air hanging still and silent. Tzuyu, the second youngest member of TWICE, stirred restlessly in her sleep. She found herself trapped in the clutches of a haunting dream, a nightmare that refused to let go. In the depths of her subconscious, she saw Y/N, the 10th and youngest member of the group, lifeless and cold.

A gasp escaped Tzuyu's lips as she jolted awake, beads of sweat clinging to her forehead. Her heart pounded in her chest, the residual fear of the dream lingering in her mind. She reached for her phone, the digital clock glaring 3:00 AM. Her fingers trembled as she dialled Y/N's number, urgency colouring her actions.

The phone rang several times before a groggy voice answered on the other end. 

Y/N - Hello?

Tzuyu - Y/N! Are you okay?

Tzuyu's voice trembled with a mix of fear and desperation.

Y/N, still half-asleep, mumbled a response. 

Y/N - Tzuyu unnie? What's wrong? It's so late.

Tzuyu took a shaky breath, trying to steady her voice. 

Tzuyu - I had a nightmare about you. A terrible one. I need to see you, please.

There was a pause on the other end, then a soft sigh. 

Y/N - Alright, give me a few minutes unnie.

Tzuyu hung up the phone and paced nervously around her room. The remnants of the nightmare clung to her like a persistent shadow. She couldn't shake the image of her little sister's lifeless form, and the fear gnawed at her insides.

Minutes later, a knock echoed through Tzuyu's door. Y/N stood there, rubbing her eyes, her expression a mix of concern and sleepiness. 

Y/N - Sis, what's going on?

Tzuyu's eyes were wide and teary as she pulled Y/N into a tight hug, almost desperate in her need for reassurance. 

Tzuyu - I dreamt that you... that you were gone. It was so real, Y/N.

Y/N's eyes softened, understanding dawning on her. She ran a soothing hand through Tzuyu's hair. 

Y/N - It's just a dream, unnie. I'm right here, alive and well.

Tzuyu pulled back, her eyes searching Y/N's face for any sign of the nightmare. 

Tzuyu - I know it's just a dream, but it felt so real. I couldn't shake the fear. *frowns*

Y/N - Sometimes dreams are just our minds playing tricks on us. I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. Okay? *smiles gently*

Tzuyu nodded, her shoulders sagging with relief. 

Tzuyu - Thank you for coming. I needed to see you.

Y/N yawned, the late hour finally catching up with her. 

Y/N - Can we talk more in the morning, though? I'm really tired, and you should get some rest too.

Tzuyu hesitated but nodded. 

Tzuyu - Yeah, of course. Sorry for waking you up.

Y/N waved it off with a smile. 

Y/N - It's okay. We may not share the same blood but we're sisters, right? Now go get some sleep, and we can talk more in the morning.

As the first light of dawn began to filter through the curtains, Tzuyu found herself unable to shake the unease that clung to her. The nightmare still lingered, a dark cloud over her thoughts. She watched as Y/N slept peacefully, blissfully unaware of the turmoil in her older sister's mind.

Later that day, the members of TWICE gathered for their schedule. Tzuyu couldn't shake the feeling of dread that loomed over her, the nightmare still haunting her thoughts. As the day wore on, she couldn't concentrate on anything, her mind constantly drifting back to the vivid images from the dream.

As evening approached, Y/N noticed Tzuyu's distracted demeanour. Concern etched her features as she approached her unnie. 

Y/N - Sis, is everything okay? You seem off today.

Tzuyu bit her lip, debating whether to share the details of the nightmare. In the end, she took a deep breath and decided to confide in Y/N. 

Tzuyu - As I mentioned, I had a bad dream last night, about you. But it felt so real, and I can't shake the fear that I felt.

Y/N's eyes widened, her concern deepening. 

Y/N - What exactly happened in the dream?

Tzuyu hesitated before recounting the details, the chill of the nightmare seeping into her words. Y/N listened intently, her expression growing sombre as she absorbed the weight of Tzuyu's fear.

Y/N - Wow. That sounds really intense. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

Y/N finally whispered after Tzuyu finished talking. 

Tzuyu nodded, a heaviness in her chest lifting as she shared the burden with Y/N. 

Tzuyu - I know it was just a dream, but it felt so real, and I can't shake the fear of losing you.

Y/N reached out, squeezing Tzuyu's hand reassuringly. 

Y/N - I'm right here, Tzuyu unnie. I'm not going anywhere. Dreams can be scary, but they're not real. We're family, and I'm here for you.

As the evening wore on, Tzuyu's anxiety began to ease. Y/N's words were a salve to her troubled mind, and the bond between the two sisters strengthened. However, as night fell once again, a new wave of unease settled over Tzuyu. The nightmare still lingered in the recesses of her mind, and she couldn't shake the feeling that something bad was about to happen.

In the quiet of the night, Y/N stirred from her sleep. The moon bathed the room in a soft glow as she sat up, sensing Tzuyu's restlessness. 

Y/N - Sis, are you okay? *whispers as she reaches out to shake Tzuyu gently*

Tzuyu blinked, her eyes wide with fear. 

Tzuyu - Y/N, I can't shake this feeling that something bad is going to happen. Please, promise me you'll be careful.

Y/N frowned, concern etching her features. 

Y/N - Tzuyu, it's just a feeling. You can't let a dream control your emotions. I promise I'll be careful, okay? But you need to get some rest.

Tzuyu nodded reluctantly, the fear still lingering in her eyes. 

Tzuyu - I just can't shake this feeling of dread.

Y/N sighed, pulling Tzuyu into a comforting embrace. 

Y/N - I understand that you're worried, but you can't let fear control you. I'm here, and I'll be careful. Now, let's get some rest. Tomorrow is a new day.

As Y/N held her sister close, Tzuyu felt the warmth of the embrace soothing the lingering fears. The bond between the two sisters was unbreakable, and as they drifted back to sleep, the moon watched over them, casting a protective light over the shared dreams of the night.

And this made them share one thought:

I love my dear chosen family.

A/N: I'm sorry for any errors. English is not my first language. Pls, let me know if there is something wrong, ty for reading <3

[ashes-writing]

outer banks ● one girl two guys pt 2 ● j.maybank + t. thornton

warnings

angst, jealousy and tension, reader has a not so good home life -drunk / childish parent and an absent father/no clue who her real one is-, Kiara Carrera and you/yn do not get along well at all and the reason why is revealed here, writer attempting something she’s never actually attempted before ( complicated relationships, fml ) swearing, mentions of 🍃and alcohol, probably a lot of fighting / confrontations because JJ is a Pogue and Topper is a Kook and yn/you/reader will be irrevocably caught in the middle of the bullshit.. oh and most likely, a little bit of the filth at some point in the future.

<- female reader, vague physical description that may become less vague if/when I do more with this.

word count

4783 exactly. Welcome to part 2, ig?

( i know where this is going now. there will be more parts. you're all going to be quite sick of my bullshit by the end of this probably, lmaooo.)

summary

continued from ( here ) One girl. Two guys. One a Pogue, one a Kook. Who will win your heart? My summaries are shiiit omfg.

taglist

the doc is ( here ) and presently, there's nobody, not a soul on it for outer banks. if you want to be tagged to my outer banks content, add your name.

@tbmunson bestie i love youuu and this chapter would not have come out without our talk. seriously, babes, I owe you my fucking life for this.

other links

masterlist ● jj's masterlist ● topper's masterlist ● about + rules

You wake up to the sound of your mother coming home from wherever she slept the night before, yelling your name. 

With a little grumbling, you pull yourself out of bed and make your way into the living room. “It’s 8 am.” you’re not amused at all as you stand there with a hand on your hip and the other one caught in thick and messy hair. “Go to sleep, alright?”

Through the partially open front door, you can see Luke Maybank sitting outside on his porch, a cigarette dangling between his lips and a cold one in his hand already. There’s no sign of JJ’s dirtbike, so you’re hoping he’s at the Chateau. Away from his father. You linger at the front door long enough that Luke looks up at you and gives you one of his creeper smirks and this is what prompts you to slam the  door shut. After you’ve shut the door from where you mother left it open, you get your mother wrangled into bed down the hall. Lowering the lights and closing the blinds. As you’re walking out of her room, she gives you a small smile. “You’re such a good girl, ___. Always takin care of me.”

You sigh and nod. Because there have been times, when she’s too drunk to function or she manages to run up a tab that’s higher than her mortgage payment and there’s no spare money to make a house payment or get yourself food or other things you need.. You’ve toyed with the idea of running away, just living on your own. The truth of the matter is, you’ve been raising yourself since your dad walked out when you were 12.

,, and technically, I’ve been raising her too.” the thought comes and it’s bitter, it leaves you frowning. When she tries to get you to give her a hug, you’re kind but you’re firm. “Sleep, mom. Go to sleep, ‘kay?”

“Okay, angel. Mommy’s t-tired. We’ll talk later though.”

You walk out of her bedroom and into the kitchen, where you slap yourself together scrambled eggs and a few strips of bacon. The fridge is getting bare again and you’re more than a little glad that you get paid at the end of your shift at the Wreck in a few hours.

As you’re walking back into your bedroom, you see the screen of your cell phone lit up.

A missed call and a text.

The missed call is from Topper, which is surprising, considering you were at least 85 percent sure you completely botched the little conversation you guys had the day before. You start to get ready for the day and you text him back.

← Sorry. Fell asleep.

← What’d you want?

When he doesn’t answer, you kind of put it off to him being busy or him only calling because he’s bored in the first place. So, you gather some cutoffs, your favorite cropped white shirt and your makeup kit and you step into the bathroom. As you’re brushing your teeth, you realize that JJ’s texted you.

→ Pope and John B wanted me to tell you they missed you. 

You smile a little at the mention of your mutual friends. But you’re frowning as soon as it hits you that JJ hasn’t made a peep about missing you. You shove the intrusive thought out and turn your attention back to an attempt to do anything you can to tame the wild beast known as your hair, scowling when you can’t even get a messy bun to stay without snapping hair ties. After the third hair tie, you give up on the messy bun and you opt for a french braid going down either side of your head instead. “Meh, it’ll have t’ do.” you shrug as you look at the final result in the bathroom mirror.

You text JJ back because unlike him, you’re not going to leave somebody on read when they’re reaching out like he’s done you for the better part of two weeks. 

← Tell them I miss them too.

Three dots pop up, then they disappear. This goes on for at least two minutes until those three blinking dots are finally gone and you’re flipping off your phone screen and grumbling. Because you wish he’d just say whatever it is he apparently keeps trying to text and get it over with.

The second text is from Kiara and you’re rolling your eyes. Did she not get the hint when you exploded on her yesterday afternoon during your shift when she wouldn’t shut up? But you remind yourself that it’s better to at least attempt to be nice until people give you a reason not to.. And you remind yourself that your outburst was a little ridiculous, she doesn’t know you have feelings for JJ Maybank too because it’s not like those feelings are out on display or anything.

→ I did it.

Your brows knit together and you give your phone’s screen a blank look before texting back. You’ve completely forgotten about what she was asking your advice on while you were both working. 

← Okay then. Awesome, I guess?

After you text Kiara back, you grab your phone charger and slip your cell phone into the back pocket of your cut offs. And since you’re only working til 1, you grab a beach towel, your earbuds and your swimsuit. You’re thinking like a little time at the beach is a good idea because it’ll keep you out of the house. Out of your mother’s hair while she’s sleeping it off before her shift at the hospital.

Then you grab your key and you’re locking it behind you when you hear JJ call your name from his house across the street.

You wave.

He frowns a little.

And starts walking over.

“Where have you been lately, huh?”

“Working, JJ. I’ve been working.” you explain calmly. And every part of you wants to ask him why it matters, after all, he’s the one who started distancing after you attempted to act differently, clue him in to how you felt.

“Okay, what’s with the attitude?” JJ asks, standing taller, folding his arms over his chest and God help you, you try not to stare at the way it makes biceps even more defined or calls attention to the way his shoulders are broader now, but  you can’t stop yourself from staring a little. You shake your head and laugh.

“You know how I feel about her hanging around.”

Blue eyes darken. He gives you this sarcasm filled little laugh. “She was your best friend, y’know. And she had a rough time. Kiara’s our friend too, ___.”

“And? She’s the one who abandoned all of us. But I guess you guys are just gonna overlook that because she’s back now.. Until Michael and Anna get tired of her ‘acting out’ and make her stay away again. Or things get too real out here in the real world for her and she ditches us when we need her, man.” you’re angry and you’re bitter and you don’t mean to snap, but you’ve done it. And you can see him flinch a little. He covers with one of his cute lopsided grins. “Hey, whoa.. Easy.” 

It takes him an entire ten minutes, but he finally asks about how your life is going. And normally, it would’ve been the first thing he asked. “How’s everything going… with your mom, I mean.”

“It’s fine, JJ. Nothing to worry about.”

“No, you’re upset.”

“No, JJ. I’m fine. Totally fine.”

As you’re standing there, your cell phone rings. And it’s Topper again. And every part of you is tempted to answer the call but you let it go to voice instead. And you’re staring up at JJ, shaking your head sadly. “I gotta go. I’ll see you around later.” and before you can stop yourself, you've stepped a little closer. Resting the palm of your hand against the front of his shirt as you look up at him. Then you realize what you're doing and you step away, start to walk away because if you don't.. You're going to say something or do something. "Later, JJ. I'll see you later, alright? I've gotta.. go." you call out over your shoulder because even taking one glance behind you might make you change your mind and linger longer than you have time for right now...

“Yeah. I’ll see you later. Hey.” he calls out to you as you’re walking down the road and you turn back to look at him, “Take it easy on Kie yesterday, you really hurt her feelings.”

And you start to ask him what about your feelings, why aren’t you allowed to feel anger at her suddenly wanting things to go back to exactly the way they were, but you stop yourself. Because Kiara Carrera isn’t worth losing your oldest best friend over. And if you do too much, it stands to reason that you’ll push him straight into her arms. Where he’s only going to get used and tossed to the side when Kiara decides she’s done playing at bad girl for a second or third time.

He’s your best friend. The boy you love. You don’t want to see him hurt.

You’re wandering into work and the place is already crowded. You’re fuming because you stopped at an ATM in the gas station and checked the balance of your shared account with your mother and you found out that apparently, during her little 3 day bender, she drained it and the account is now -100. 

And you had the light bill scheduled to come out. So when Kiara spots you and wanders over, practically floating up to you as you tie on your branded apron and grab a pen and pad to take orders, you are not in the mood to deal with whatever your former friend is about to tell you.

What you’re not expecting is for her to tell you that she went for it and she told JJ how she felt. And you’re definitely not expecting the way it feels as if someone’s just taken a sledgehammer to  your own heart. Because she’s too giddy, too happy. You can tell already this is just another one of her whirlwind decisions and you know it’s heading for disaster.

And you’re pissed. Because not a single time during your conversation with JJ before you came to work, not once did he mention anything Kiara’s standing in front of you telling you. Parts of you don’t want to believe her but the sinking feeling in your gut is what has you realizing it’s most likely true.

,, See? You weren’t the one he wanted.. If you were, don’t you think he’d have picked up on the way you were trying to be more affectionate with him and responded? What’d he do, ___? He got distant.”  the thought comes and it somehow makes you feel even worse.

Between your mother choosing to be the irresponsible one yet again and this, you’re done for the day and you can’t take anymore. And Kiara looks so happy, so proud of herself, maybe even a little smug as she stands in front of you.

You’re not perfect. You want her to hurt like you are.

So you roll her eyes and laugh. “It’ll last like two weeks tops. That’s how it always goes with you, right? If you break my best friend’s heart, you’re dead to me. Have fun, I guess.” you shove past her and make your way over to a table filled with old money Kooks to take their order.

You can feel her staring, gaping at you as you go about your job. 

By the time your break rolls around and you’ve heard her talking about it to John B when he comes in to pick up his order, you’re even more hurt and bitter than you were at the start.

And it’s true what they say, hurt people hurt people.

Because the first thing you do when you’re standing out back to have a smoke and at least try to salvage your mood for the day is to text JJ. In anger.

← fucking seriously? We’re supposed to be best friends, JJ.

← You can’t just tell me you’re with her? I have to hear it from literally everybody else?

← not cool, dude.

← Have fun, i guess.

And after this, you’re just.. Done.

As in, totally finished. Can’t take another shitty thing happening to you for the rest of the day. With almost two hours left in your shift, you find Kiara’s dad and tell him you need to take the afternoon and the next day off, something has come up and you need to deal with it. And while it’s kind of a lie, it technically isn’t.

You smirk just a little when Michael is telling Kiara that she’s got to give up her day off and the rest of the afternoon to cover for you and you hear her complain that it isn’t fair. Every part of you almost storms over and tells her that what isn’t fair is the fact that you covered every single shift she missed when she ran off to God knows where with your friends and nobody was telling you whether they were dead or alive.. But you’re just done and checked out, so you leave the restaurant instead.

JJ hasn’t texted you back and somehow, this doesn’t surprise you. And you’re at least fifty percent sure it’ll be a while before you hear from him again.

And you’re trying to come to grips with that. Sad because this is not how you saw your friendship with JJ Maybank ending at all. Frustrated because you know if you even attempt to open his eyes, it’s just gonna drive him even closer to her. Jealous because you know that the whole reason this whole thing is even affecting you like it does is because you want him but you were too scared to speak up.

The rain starts to fall and you pause your walk to throw up your hands and look up at the sky. “Seriously? Rain? Now?” you wonder aloud and the sound of laughter and an idling vehicle have you glancing around. Your gaze settles on Topper Thornton’s parked Jeep. He’s watching you, amusement making doe eyes dance. 

“Everything okay, ___?”

“Swell. Everything is just swell, Topper.” you call out as the rain starts to increase, the loudness of thunder as the storm that’s been threatening to break for the last hour and a half finally settles over the island. You’re laughing too, soaked to the bone.

“Get in.” he’s giving you this charmers grin. It’s actually kind of cute. You eye him warily. “Aren’t you a little far from home right now, dude?”

“Yeah, well.. I saw you walking and you looked upset. Just get in. C’mon.”

You mull it over and in the meantime, the rain isn’t getting any slower. The storms not coming to a lull, either. If anything, it’s only getting slightly more intense. 

You shrug. Grumble “What the fuck, why not. It’s not like he’s a stranger.” to yourself as you slink over to his Jeep and open the passenger door to climb in. As soon as you’ve shut the door behind you, he finds somewhere to turn around and he’s heading towards your side of the island. The awkward silence is too much. Silence, in general, is too much for you at the moment and as soon as you start to really overthink everything yet again, you’re sniffling quietly.

Topper reaches out to lower the volume on the rock station playing on the radio. And he’s gazing at you in concern as the Jeep rolls to a stop at the last red light before you’re leaving town behind. “Are you alright?”

You shrug. And you’ve always hated people seeing you cry, especially people you feel will somehow use that against you later on, so you train your eyes on the grass and trees going past as you take off again once the light is green. 

Topper repeats his question two more times and on the last time he repeats it, you break. You’re telling this poor guy everything that’s been going on lately. Everything. Even your mother’s repeated shenanigans with the money. And it’s more than a little embarrassing, you want to die or vanish every time your mouth opens and more pathetic woe is me crap keeps spewing out, but you can’t stop.

And it hits you. This is the first time in a long time that anybody’s even made an attempt to ask you if you’re actually alright. And you’re not.. You’re really, really not.

Topper pulls into a rest area and puts his Jeep into park.

“C’mere, it’s okay.” he holds his arms out and you look at him, a brow raised for a second before you find yourself just melting into him a little. Crying it out to a point where your mascara is streaking the front of his soft baby blue plaid shirt. As you pull away -and it’s way too quick for him, he’s stunned at how good it feels to hold you the way he was- you look at the front of his shirt and cringe as you mumble a pitiful apology.

“It’s okay to not be okay, ___.” he mumbles quietly after a second or two. And then he grabs a fast food napkin from his console and wipes your eyes a little. Awkwardly apologizing as soon as he realizes just how close he is and stops to think of how he might be invading your personal space.  “Sorry..”

“No, it’s.. It’s okay?” you’re shocked that you’re saying it. Even more shocked that he’s reacting to your meltdown the way he is, as opposed to walking away or shutting down. Ignoring you until you’re okay again.

And deeper down, you’d probably die before admitting it, you felt good. When he was hugging you, you could feel this calmness kind of take over. And you’re left to feel horrible because up to this point, you’d written him off with the rest of the Kooks on the island.

All this is shoved out of your head as he nears your side of the island. Where the pavement turns to dirt roads and the modest family homes turn to older homes, most in need of serious repair. “You don’t have to, uh.. You can just stop somewhere, my house isn’t far. I don’t wanna be trouble or anything.” you speak up quietly. 

Topper shakes his head. “Nah, it’s fine. Besides, I just saw lightning.” he stares at you, watches you squirming in the passenger seat. He knows you’re probably embarrassed about the way you were just falling apart in front of him, he’s seen you around long enough to have taken notice of the way you always act like nothing bothers you. And he’s surprised to learn that you’re not as tough as you make yourself seem.

He tries -and fails- at mentally replaying the way you melted against him just minutes ago. He knows he’s screwed now and it will haunt him night and day. Because something just kind of clicked while he was comforting you. And it’s something that right now, he can’t even bring himself to wrap his head around.

Because admitting that he might feel something deeper than a physical attraction, well.. That’s dangerous territory, especially when he remembers the hell he went through with Sarah Cameron before she finally chose John B not so long ago.

“Okay, well.. My house is down the next road. On the right. Pink shutters.” you manage to mumble after you finally make yourself stop staring at his side profile while he’s driving and not paying any attention to you but where he’s heading instead. Topper nods. “Right.. Pink shutters.”

As your house comes into view, you take a few shaky breaths and prepare yourself to go inside and possibly have to deal with your mother. Parts of you are hoping she’s gone again just so you don’t have to because you know you’re only going to think about her blowing through all the money you saved and you’re going to be angry, you will yell and argue and say things you shouldn’t.

And she’ll yell back, she’ll cry, she’ll remind you that you’re the reason your father left. Then you’ll be forced to tell her that her affair is the reason your father left. Because finding out he wasn’t really your father, just in name only, well.. Kind of made him angry. And he was finally just done taking care of your mom whenever she’d break down or shut down like she tended to.

Topper pulls his truck to a stop behind an early 2000’s model Mustang and he looks over at you, watches as you seem to be preparing yourself to even go inside the faded white house with the pink shutters and the sagging front door. “And here you are… Are you sure you’re okay, __?”

You sigh. “Kind of have no choice, Top. Thanks for the uh.. The lift.” you’re leaning in over the console before you can stop yourself and you’re more than a little tempted to give him at least a peck on the cheek but you manage to stop yourself. You reach up and give damp blonde tipped hair a little fluff instead. As you’re getting out of the Jeep, you pause. “You’re actually not a prick.”

Topper chuckles and shrugs. “Who would’ve thought.” he’s smiling at you and the thought sneaks it’s way past your iron clad defense, surprising you. When he smiles and it’s a real one, he has a nice smile. Dimples, too.

You shut the door to the Jeep and watch him drive away for a few seconds before rushing into the house.

Your mom’s still sleeping it off, she’ll probably sleep until the absolute last second that she’s got to be getting up and leaving for her  shift in the hospital on the mainland. So your deep-ingrained childhood habit for nights like this kicks in and you quietly make your way back to your room, shutting the door behind you. Flopping across your bed and just letting out a long and ragged breath.

–

“Why’s that asshole on our side of the island?” JJ is fuming as he watches the silver gray Jeep Topper Thornton drives pull to a stop in front of your mom’s place. From behind him, Pope speaks up with a shrug, “Dunno man.”

JJ clenches his fist. “I told her he was an asshole. And he’s one of them!”

“Dude… you’re trying to be with Kie.” Pope points out, falling silent under JJ’s stormy glare. JJ picks up his vape pen and takes a hit. And he turns back, watching as Topper’s Jeep drives away after a minute or two. You’ve gone inside by now.

→ What the fuck was that, cupcake?

→ C’mon, we talked about this. Dude is an asshole.

→ Look, I just don’t want you getting hurt or something.

He slips his phone back into his pocket and turns his attention back to packing up some clothes to go over to John B’s place for a few days. Pope is waiting in the doorway, shaking his head.

“You know you can’t have them both.. Right? It’s either ___ or Kie.”

JJ tenses slightly. “___ will come around. She just needs time. She used to be Kie’s friend too.”

“Yeah well.. Pretty sure Kie’s mom ended that when she made that stupid call two years ago and got DCPS poking around.” Pope studies his friend solemnly. “If you’re so sure it’s ___… why are you even bothering with Kie, man? It just doesn’t make any sense.”

“Because..” JJ takes a few deep breaths and he shrugs. “If I go for it and it fucks up.. I’m gonna lose her completely.”

“And you’re not already, man?” Pope questions. JJ flinches a little. “She’s just been busy with work.”

“Mhm.” Pope moves out of the way so JJ can walk out onto the porch. And JJ spots the light on in your bedroom window, pausing to stare across the road at it. Until you catch him and rush to untie the tarot card print tapestry you have up as a curtain. JJ frowns a little. “She didn’t even wave.”

He’s starting to walk over and Pope grumbles to himself about it, catching up to his best friend. “I need you to stop and think right now, man. If you go over and you’re mad about Topper coming by.. It’s only gonna drive her to him.”

“It won’t. All I’m gonna do is talk, Pope. Okay? Trust the process.”

“Okay, alright. But I warned you. Okay, look.. Remember how she was trying to be more affectionate? And you kind of shut her out? And you’ve been avoiding her.. All I’m saying is if you go over there and you’re angry, man.. You’re never gonna be able to fix all that.”

When JJ doesn’t listen, Pope grumbles to himself and throws up his hand before walking back across the street. “Fine. Don’t listen, buddy. Whatever happens just happens I guess.”

JJ’s knocking on your door and as he stands there waiting on you to answer, he’s trying to decide what he’s going to say to you, going over that in his head. Because maybe if he plans out what he’ll say, it’ll be easier to actually say it.

But when you haven’t opened the door by the fifth or sixth knock, he’s a little annoyed. He walks off the porch and makes his way around to your bedroom window. Starts knocking on that instead. “Hey! Don’t you hear me outside?”

You pause the television show you’re watching and glare at the tapestry covered window for a few seconds. “Go home, JJ.” you call out loudly enough to be heard through the crack in the window. “I mean it. Go home.”

“What the hell was Topper doing parked outside your house?”

“Nothing, alright? Damn. Not that it matters or anything, but nothing happened.”

“You were in his Jeep, cupcake. C’mon, you know better than that.”

You roll your eyes and laugh. “Are you calling me stupid right now, Maybank? Seriously? Because that’s what this sounds like.”

“No! No, I just.. Look, he’s a Kook, cupcake. He’s not one of us.”

“And? Look, you know perfectly well I’ve never bought into this whole epic feud you all have going, JJ.” you call out before rolling over on your bed to sit up and pull the window to your bedroom completely shut.

JJ gives you an irritated look when you lock eyes with him through the window and you give him a little shrug. He throws up his hands at you and you can see him mouthing that you need to listen to him.

You assume that he’s left, so you unpause your show and go back to watching.

But then, about fifteen minutes later, you can hear him knocking on your door again. He even does the stupid little “Housekeeping?” that usually makes you laugh and forget how annoyed you are with him at the moment to go answer the door.

Tonight though.. Tonight it’s only making you even more annoyed.

“Why the fuck does it matter? You’re with Kie now, doofus. Focus on that. On her.” you grumble to yourself as you roll your eyes and slip out of bed to go into the living room and turn off the porch light.

“Come on! Talk to me!”

The porch lights go off and JJ is left to stand in fading daylight on your front porch. He’s staring at the front door in determination. He knocks again and finally, you just can’t deal another second. So you throw the door open and lean in the doorway, arms folded.  Annoyance in your eyes. “Get off my fucking porch, Maybank.”

“Not til you listen to me, cupcake. Because apparently, you’re all hot and bothered by that.. Kook asshole.”

You laugh and roll your eyes. “It’s actually not even like that. Anyway, aren’t you with Kie right now? Why aren’t you.. Ya know.. With her? I didn’t ask you to come over and bother me.”

“You’re my best friend. I don’t wanna see you get hurt.”

You raise a brow. “You act like I’m gonna go for him.” and you’re annoyed at the way JJ automatically jumps to that conclusion about you. So you pull the front door shut. “Get off my fucking porch, Maybank. Go spend time with your girlfriend!”

JJ is left to stand there, staring at the door. Baffled. Angry because you’re not listening and it’s like you’ve forgotten just how bad the Kooks are.. Or even the fact that not too long ago, he was in a pretty bad fight with Topper.

“C’mon. Let her cool down before you completely mess this up, JJ.” Pope speaks up from behind him and JJ sighs, waving a hand at your house as he nods in agreement. “Maybe if I back off she’ll come to her senses on her own.”

[livyjh]

Unexpected Visitor ch.6

Din Djarin x Reader

Rating: EXPLICIT 18+

Word count: 2k

Entire work can be found on ao3 here

Chapter links listed at top of first chapter

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You wake up, only confused for a second by the cloth over your eyes before remembering. You feel around the cot, searching for Din and he’s not there.

“Din?” You call out to the ship.

“Cockpit!” You hear a modulated voice reply. Okay, it’s safe to take the blindfold off.

You remove it and sit up, still naked but covered with a blanket. You get out of the compartment and get dressed before heading up to the cockpit to find Din and the baby.

“Hey.” You finish climbing up the ladder and enter the small room.

“You slept longer than I thought you would.” Din turned to you.

“How long was I out?”

“Maybe 5 or 6 hours.”

“Oh. Whoops.” You laugh a little. “How long did you sleep?”

“About 2.”

You hum and nod, looking at the baby’s cradle and smiling at him. He coos and smiles back, showing his cute, tiny teeth.

It had just occurred to you that you didn’t even know his name. Din just referred to him as “the kid” or “the child”.

“Um… does his name need to stay secret like yours does, or?” You ask and sit down.

“No, um… I haven’t given him a name yet. Or actually, haven’t found out what his name is.” The Mandalorian sighed.

“Oh. Okay.”

“After this bounty I’m going to try and return him to his own kind. Whatever that may be. I was quested to do so.”

“Quested?” You ask, it sounded so official.

“This is the Way.” Din nods.

“This is the Way.” You whisper to yourself, remembering that that’s a Mandalorian’s motto.

A few minutes of silence pass, you decide to pick up the baby and hold him on your lap.

Din settles back into his chair and looks at the two of you.

You look at him and smile, turning your attention to the baby again after a long moment. You noticed Din just kept watching you. Looking as you gently rubbed the child’s head and long ears. It made you want to smile like an idiot, but you held back. Mostly. You still had a small grin on your face when Din spoke up.

“You look… happy.” He points out.

You glance at him, “I am.”

“You’re radiant.” He sets his hands in his lap.

You roll your eyes. “Such a charmer, you are.”

“I mean it.” He shrugs.

You smile wider. “Thank you… but the reason I’m happy is because of you.”

“Yeah?” He tilts his head.

You pause but then nod. You were giving yourself away but you really didn’t mind letting him have you.

Din made microscopic movements as he studied you, a twitch of the finger or the slightest tilt of his helmet up or down.

You couldn’t seem to stop yourself. “I thought a lot about you… after the first time we met.”

“Tell me.” He spoke softly.

You put the baby back in his egg shaped bed, folding your hands over your lap. “I mean… the sex was… well, you know.” You laugh to yourself a little. “But then after I got home that night, I just kept wondering if I’d ever see you again. Either at work or just in the city somewhere.”

Din nods slightly, showing he’s listening.

“After a month I kinda lost hope. But I’d sometimes… well, I’d play this horrible game with myself. Horrible because it only made me want you more… I’d stare at the door at work and just imagine you walking in. I’d be thinking, ‘okay, this next one’s gonna be him’ and then… it wasn’t.” You pause and look up from your hands. “Until it was.”

You could almost feel him smiling.

“I spent all those months hoping I’d see you again.”

There’s a silence, and then, “Why?” Din asks.

It’s not meant to hurt your feelings, but for some reason the question stings a little. Did he not think he was worthy of being wanted?

“Why?” You repeat back at him. “I mean at first it was because you’re like… one of the best I’ve ever had.” You start. “And then after a couple days, I started wondering where you were. What you were doing. If you’d come back. If you pay for sex often. If that was your first or last time doing it.”

You sit up in your chair a little and stare at his gloved hands. “I wondered if it was against Mandalorian code to have sex without being married or something. Or if you had to be married to show your faces. And I just…” you laugh at all you’ve revealed. “I just couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

There’s a long pause before Din speaks. He just needed a second to think. “I thought about you, too.”

“You don’t have to say that, it-“ You start to return.

“It’s the truth.” He interrupts you. “To answer some of your questions, I was on Coruscant for a bounty. I wanted to come back but I didn’t have time after we first met.”

Din leans forward and rests his elbows on his knees, looking up at you through his visor. “That wasn’t the first time I’d paid for sex… but I haven’t slept with anyone else since the first time with you.”

This made you melt, in a good way.

“I’m… not supposed to remove my helmet in the presence of other living things.” Din sighs. “Even blindfolding you with it off was taboo.”

Your heart started beating a little faster. He’s breaking the rules for you. “It means a lot that you trust me the way you do.”

He’s not sure what to say to this, you can tell by his body language. He keeps thinking for a moment.

“It’s part of my job to know people, inside and out. Whether I’ve just met them or have known them a long time.” He explains. “When I’m hunting a bounty, I have to get inside their heads. Think like they would think so I can catch them in the right place at the right time.”

You’re sure this is the most you’ve ever heard him talk.

Din starts again. “I can read people. And you have a good heart.”

You smile at him as you lean over in your chair and mirror him, resting your elbows on your knees. You lean forward just enough to rest your forehead against his helmet. You wished you could kiss him again.

***

The rest of the day is spent entertaining the child, you and Din taking turns feeding him or playing with him and his favorite silver ball.

Din informs you that Tatooine should only be one more days trip. You didn’t mind spending time with him, it was just weird being on a ship for so long.

The last day before you get to Tatooine, you wake up in the cot in the cargo hold and wish Din was there next to you.

You get up and go to the cockpit, insisting Din take a turn sleeping while you watch the baby. It’s been a day and a half since he last slept.

“If he falls asleep… come down and lay with me.” Din says as he starts heading down the ladder.

“Will do.” You reply before shushing the baby in your arms. He was fussy and you could tell it was because he was tired.

After an hour, the kid finally fell asleep and you put him down in his cradle. You sneak down the ladder to find Din in the open compartment on the cot.

He’s taking up most of the space, being a broad man with several armor plates attached to him. You try and crawl into the bed carefully but accidentally wake him anyways.

“Oh. Hi.” He mumbles, getting closer to the wall against his back and putting out his arms for you to cuddle up in.

“How can you sleep with that thing on? I’d get claustrophobic.” You laugh a little about his helmet, settling down against him as he wraps his arms around you and pulls you close.

“I’ve gotten used to it.” He explains. “It’s not the most comfortable though, you’re right.” He sighs, readjusting his body to make himself comfortable again.

The compartment is a little tight but it feels nice to be squished up against him.

After 15 minutes or so, you think he’s fallen back asleep and you’re tempted to do the same. But someone should be awake in case the baby starts crying.

So you lay there, just daydreaming about the Mandalorian next to you and all the wonderful things you’ve done with him.

Incidentally, you start getting turned on. You roll over to face away from Din, waiting a couple minutes to make sure he was still asleep while you reached down into your panties.

You started touching yourself, rubbing your fingertips over your labia and finally your clit. You let out a quiet sigh of pleasure, continuing to work on yourself.

You weren’t sure if you wanted to finish, you would easily be loud enough wake Din. You’d just play with yourself a little bit.

But then, a modulated voice startles you. “Sweet girl…” Din’s hand reaches around to gently grip the wrist of the hand down your pants.

“I- uh-“ you begin, unsure of what excuse you’re going to make up.

“It’s okay.” He coos, moving to take his right glove off and reach down your pants where your fingers are paused against your clit.

“Guide me. Show me how you like to touch yourself.” He hums.

“O- okay.” You breathe out shakily, moving your hand on top of his.

You push his hand down, guiding his middle finger between your lips, rubbing from your entrance to your clit and back again.

“Always love how wet you are.” Din’s voice is gravelly and low.

You guide his finger inside of you, moaning at the feeling. Your hips roll down against his hand.

“Thought you were gonna have some fun? Without me?” Din asked evilly.

“M- maybe…” you stutter.

He hums at this, fingering you faster, rubbing against your g-spot. “Like that?”

“Fuck. Yes…” you trail off, eyes closing as you tilt your head back. You were getting close but you needed something else.

“Slow down… rub my clit.” You tell him sweetly.

He pulls his fingers out and your hand splays across the top of his once again, fingers lined up together.

You guide him to press two fingers to the sensitive bud at the top of your pussy, pushing down and rubbing in circles.

“Y- yeah. Like that.” You nod, moving your hips in the opposition direction of Din’s fingers, creating lovely pressure.

Your hand moves away from his to wrap around his wrist as he rubs you in just the right way. “Harder.” You plead.

He doubles down and soon you’re whimpering with each breath, orgasm approaching.

“So close.” You sigh and he speeds up, and that’s all you need to cum.

“Fuck-!” You gasp, “Ah, Din… fuck.” You’re whining his name as he continues rubbing in little circles.

As you come out of it, he slows down until stopping, running his fingers up and down your sensitive wetness.

Your breathing begins to even and he pulls his hands out of your pants, wiping them on your underwear. He wanted to taste you again but he wouldn’t be able to get his helmet up with his other arm beneath you.

“Felt so good… you always take care of me.” You smile and roll over to face him again.

“Of course, cyar’ika.” He whispers.

This word, you recognized. It was a Mando’a term of endearment meaning “sweetheart” or “darling”… even “beloved” some would say.

You smile at him, placing a hand over the side of his neck.

You wondered if he needed to get off too, or if that was just for you. He wasn’t pushing to go any further, so you figured he was too tired.

“Get some more sleep.” You whisper back. “I’m gonna eat and then watch the kid.”

“Okay. Thank you.” Din nodded as you crawled out of the bed. He closed the compartment from the inside, shutting the light out.

You hum to yourself as you grab an apple and some spiceloaf, moving up to the cockpit.

The kid was still asleep so you sat and ate, smiling about your budding feelings for Din.

[anonymityisfunwriter]

Two Sides Of The Same Coin - Chapter 29: "Renegade"

"You wouldn't be the first renegade to need somebody. Is it insensitive for me to say, 'Get your shit together so I can love you?'"

Pairing: Sunshine!Reader x Grumpy!Bucky Barnes

A Week Later...

It's been a week. One entire week, and you've yet to wake up. They said that your lungs needed to rest. It's why that tube is in your throat.

Bucky thinks it's bullshit. He thinks it's all bullshit.

The sound of the lights buzzing above him, each annoying buzz grating on his last nerve.

The sound of the nurse's shoes each time they bustle in and out of the room.

But mostly, Sam. Sam paces the room- at least he does when he's there with him. 

The kind side of him, the side of him that you bring out, begs him not to snap at his friend. That he's only staying busy to help cope with an impossible situation. That he's taking care of everything so Bucky doesn't have to.

But you're not there to bring that out. You're lying there, heart monitor beating steadily, inhaling and exhaling thanks to a tube in your throat. 

He exhales forcefully, desperately trying to stay calm. But if he hears Sam's phone ping again, he's going to-

His thoughts are cut off by Sam's phone ringing- again. 

Bucky's fist clenches tightly, his muscles tensing as he prepares to tear Sam's phone from his hand and throw it against the wall. 

"What's wrong?" Steve asks from the side of him.

“It’s like he doesn’t even care. He’s on the phone every five fucking seconds, running fucking errands,” he hisses loud enough that Sam can hear him despite being on the phone.

“Bucky,” Steve gently warns. Steve can see the strain on both of his friends face. Even he misses you, and he knows that you and him weren't nearly as close as you were to Sam and Bucky. Neither of them have slept, neither have been away from this hospital for longer than a few hours- he can see it's taking its toll on both the men.  

“Go home and change, Bucky,” Sam grits, trying to keep his composure.

Steve's eyes flicker to Bucky then Sam. He nods at Bucky, eyes flickering to the door for Bucky to go take a much needed break. Bucky looks between the two men, knowing he’s not going to win this fight and caves. He stands up from his chair and barely even looking at Sam, Bucky harshly checks his shoulder as he moves past him.

"You know what? I'm sick of this- I'm sick of you," Sam spits, shoving Bucky back.

"Sam," Steve gently cajoles. Sam holds up his hand to Steve, signaling him to stay out of this. Steve sighs, slouching back down on his seat as he watches a fight that had been brewing this entire time.

"What?" Bucky grunts.

"You heard me. I'm sick of your shitty attitude. She just took a bullet for you. She took a bullet- for you," Sam says, jabbing a finger in Bucky's chest. "You know why? Because she thought you were a person worth saving. She's always thought you were a person worth saving- even when you were being the biggest asshole to her. Even when you yelled at her- she thought you were worth it."

"Well I'm not," Bucky sneers.

"Not like this you're not," Sam explodes, gesturing to the room with tears stinging his own eyes. "It would break her heart to see you like this."

"Then maybe I'm not the person she thinks I am. Maybe I'm not the person that's worth taking bullets for."

Sam scoffs in disbelief. "You're wrong. She took that bullet for you. You are that person, your head's just too far up your own ass to even see it. Be that person. Be the person that she thinks you are."

"You of all people can't be okay with this,” Bucky fumes, his voice gravelly and strained from exhaustion and unbridled terror. “You can't possibly be okay with her trading her life for mine? Mine, Sam. She's everything to you, she's practically your little sister and you're okay if she dies for me? For me- of all people? She may not make it because of me."

"Bullshit," Sam scoffs again. "You're scared. You're scared and instead of dealing with it, you're here trying to pick a fight with everyone you can. I'm not going to let you- I'm not taking the bait. She made a choice, but that's what it was- her choice."

"And if she dies?" Bucky asks, his voice cracking. "Then what was it all for? Huh? Me and her? I’m in love with her and she doesn't even know it! We were supposed to have the rest of our lives and- and- now she might not even make it out of here, Sam."

"She's going to make it, Bucky. And you're gonna make her so happy, because if you don't I'm going to kick your ass," Sam vaguely threatens, his own tears forming in his eyes. "You're going to name your first born Sam- boy or girl...And it's going to be okay."

"You can't kick my ass," Bucky exhales.

"That's the part you argue with? You're giving up the name of your first born that easily?"

Bucky halfheartedly chuckles. "Knowing her? She'd probably do it- you mean a lot to her."

Sam exhales forcefully, practically groaning as he tries to keep his own tears as bay, and trying his very best to maintain his composure. "Well we're not going to do that. Definitely not going to do that. Go shower, I’ll keep you posted.”

Next Chapter

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