#okay little edit because I am in shock honestly

[ccuriousmischieff]

.

[juniperskye]

Let’s start over.

Sneak peek: Aaron and Reader were together back when she was finishing her bachelor’s degree. It went on for a bit until Aaron started to pull away – after confronting him, you called things off. Years later you return to Quantico to streamline the new child crimes unit which will work directly with the BAU. Aaron is surprised to see you and asks you to dinner…some shocking secrets are revealed. (There are timeline edits to this story to fit my vision okay?!)

Aaron Hotchner x (Fem) Reader

Angst/Fluff

Word count: 5301

REQUESTS ARE OPEN - not edited - please be kind. Requests are open and feedback is welcome if it's constructive!

Warnings: My blog is 18+, minors DNI, age gap (reader is in their 20’s and Hotch is in his 40’s), explicit language, keeping a child a secret, Hotch not being the best partner (past), description of BAU and other FBI units – some canon typical subject matter, OC’s Nora (child) Theo and Leila (agents), mention of hospitals, and mention of febrile seizure, mention of Jack, mention of Haley (their relationship timeline was adjusted to make this work – they separated when Jack was like 2-3 y/o) let me know if I missed any!

I do not consent to having my work translated or reposted to any other site. That being said I do not own the characters portrayed in this story.

** 5 Years Ago, **

“Aaron would you please just tell me what’s going on!” You pleaded.

“Nothing. I told you to just drop it. Nothing is wrong.” Aaron snapped.

Things had been like this for the past few weeks. Aaron was being short with you, snippy about menial things that had never bothered him before. You couldn’t figure out what was going on, it had truly begun to weigh heavily on your relationship.

“We both know that’s bullshit. Why won’t you just talk to me?” You were practically begging him at this point.

“Jesus Christ, would you just let it the fuck go. I said I don’t want to talk. Why is that so hard for you to understand?” Aaron shouted. “Maybe Dave was right.” He mumbled.

“Right about what?” Your voice came out much smaller than intended.

“Maybe you’re too young, too immature. You just don’t understand the stress I’m under.” Aaron huffed out a sigh.

Aaron and you had been together for nearly two years. Initially it had been more of a fling due to the fact that he was teaching a course you were taking to complete your bachelor’s degree. He and you took things to the next level once you’d graduated and now you were about to complete your master’s degree. You loved Aaron, but with how things had been going for the last few months, you couldn’t help but wonder if that was enough.

“I don’t know if I can do this anymore.” You whispered.

“So what?  We get in a little fight and you’re going to throw a tantrum?” Aaron spat pure venom.

“A tantrum?” You said, exasperated. “Aaron I’m not a toddler kicking and screaming because I am not getting my way. I’m a grown ass woman asking for some healthy communication in our relationship. We haven’t had a real conversation in months, and I don’t think I can go on like this.” You gasped, the realization finally hitting you…this had to end.

“Sweetheart, we can work this out. I’m sorry okay?” Aaron reached for you.

“No…” You took a retreating step, your back making contact with the back of your sofa. “I think it’s too late Aaron. And honestly it’s rich that you called me immature, when you are so emotionally stunted. You refuse to act your own age and talk things through. Instead, you bottle things up and push away anyone who cares about you. I won’t be your punching bag anymore, I have too much respect for myself.” Your tears had finally broken free, trailing down your cheeks clouded with black from your mascara.

“So that’s it then? We’re done?” Aaron scoffed.

“I guess that’s it.” You gasped.

With that, Aaron grabbed his bag and left. Pausing for a second, before shaking his head and making his leave. The moment you heard the lock click, your knees gave out and you collapsed to the floor as sobs ripped through your body. You laid there for what felt like days, broken and devastated by the loss of what you presumed was your forever. He was gone and you’d have to move on, something you weren’t sure was possible in that moment.

** Present Day **

“Hello? … This is she … Oh! Director Cruz … yes I am getting everything ready. … I can’t thank you enough for this opportunity, truly. … Of course, thank you. … Alright, I will see you Monday. … Thank you … Bye.” You were practically buzzing as you hung up the phone.

“Was that bossman?” Hestia questioned.

“Yes it was! He was checking in and making sure I have everything I need before I start on Monday!” You gushed.

“I can’t believe you are moving back to Virginia. I am going to miss you so, so much!” Hestia whined.

“I am going to miss you too! But it’ll only be like a month until you join me…right?” You inquired.

“Yes! My lease is up then and as long as you’re still cool with us staying with you guys until we find our own place, we will be there!” She explained.

“Ummm of course you guys can stay with us! Free childcare…I’d be an idiot to pass that up!” You laughed as Hestia threw a pillow at you.

You were actively packing up your life and preparing to move back to Virginia. You hadn’t been back there in nearly five years. After breaking things off with Aaron and completing your master’s degree, you’d looked into PhD programs around the U.S. and had ultimately decided on the child psychology program at Colombia University, and while New York wasn’t too far from Virgina, it at least put space between you and Aaron. 

About eight months after you and Aaron had broken things off, Nora had come as quite a surprise. Despite the shock that was brought on by your pregnancy, Nora had become the greatest gift you could’ve asked for. Having Hestia around to make up for your lack in baby daddy had brought the two of you incredibly close together.

You had met Hestia in a pretty unconventional way, she was one year into her residency for general surgery, and you had appendicitis. So, she worked hand-in-hand with the surgeon who removed your appendix, and well, the rest had been history. She’s been with you through everything in the last four years, most importantly, she’s helped you raise Nora. You’d been sure to repay the favor, especially within the last year…Hestia’s mom had passed, leaving her 15-year-old sister in her care. The four of you had become your own little family.

“So, what’s your plan tomorrow?” Hestia asked.

“Oh, my parents flew in last week and they drove most of my stuff down on Tuesday. My mom said she wanted it to be set up for us, so we’d be able to move right in, especially since I start work immediately. So, I am just getting the last few things together today and we will head down tomorrow, and I guess we will finish getting everything set up this weekend. They’re staying with me, pretty much until you and Selene can come out. They don’t want me to have to put Nora in daycare.” You explained.

“Aw, I’m so glad they’re able to do that! I know by then you’ll be ready to have them out of your hair, but it is nice that you won’t have to leave her with strangers right away.” Hestia patted your leg. “I do have a question for you though…are you at all worried about running into your ex?”

“I don’t even know if he still works there Hes, it’s a huge place. Who’s to say we even see each other at all?” You shrug.

“You are so full of shit!” Hestia laughs. “Don’t act like you didn’t check to see if he’s still there.”

“Ugh! Yes he’s still the unit chief of the BAU! Of course I looked. And yes. I am terrified, Director Cruz said my unit will most likely work with the BAU more than any other team and I’m not sure I can handle that.” You groaned.

“You can’t avoid him forever babe. Are you going to tell him about Nora?”

“Hes, I don’t even know how I would begin to tell him.” You shook your head. “We ended horribly and she’s four now. What if he freaks out?”

“I mean he might. Hon, you have to tell him, she’s his daughter you know… I don’t think there’s an easy way to do it. Like it’s gonna be ugly no matter what. But at least you’re telling him.” Hestia reasons.

You knew she was right, you had to tell Aaron about Nora, but honestly it could wait. You had an entire unit to run, and you couldn’t let your fear of seeing him and having that conversation distract you from the important work you’d be doing.

Monday came far too quickly. Your parents had been a huge help, and the house was almost completely unpacked. Nora had settled in well with them being there with you both, and you were incredibly grateful to them for supporting you.

You had gotten up early to make breakfast and eat with Nora before heading into the office. When you walked into the FBI building, you made your way to the front desk to get your ID and then headed to the director’s office.

“Welcome! We are so glad to have you and your team joining us at the FBI. Child crimes is something that has needed an official unit for far too long, I am just happy to have you leading it.” Director Cruz greeted you.

“Thank you Director, it is truly an honor to have been asked to lead this team. From my understanding, Theo and Leila will be here tomorrow to begin officially.”

“That’s correct. I want to go over some logistics with you before I show you to your office. As of right now your team will just be the three of you, if we see a need to expand, we will. I am going to assign you and your agents each a specific unit for if you are needed in more than one place. You will be the point person for the Behavioral Analysis Unit and the Sex Crimes Unit, Leila will take point with Violent Crimes and Theo will take point with Cybercrimes. I anticipate that your team will work closest with the BAU and SCU.” Director Cruz explained.

“That all sounds good sir. Are the Unit Chiefs of these departments all aware of our arrival? I just want to ensure they will be prepared to work with us and that there won’t be too much pushback.” You posed.

“I understand. Yes, they have all been informed of your team’s arrival and I have made it very clear that their cooperation is nonnegotiable. At the end of the day, we all have the same goal, so hopefully there will be very little pushback from our agents.” Director Cruz reassured you. “Are you ready to see your office now?”

“Yes sir, thank you.”

Stepping off the elevator onto the sixth floor, you immediately took note of the directory sign listing that the BAU was housed on this floor. It made your stomach churn, knowing that you would most definitely see Aaron every day… not to mention in like the next few minutes.

“Okay so, through this door here is where the BAU is, as I mentioned before. There are two open desks down in the bullpen there for Theo and Leila, and your office is just there. You will be between agents Hotchner and Rossi.” Director Cruz noted as you entered your office. “I’d like to introduce you to agent Hotchner before I let you settle in; I think it is important given how frequently you’ll be working together.”

“Of course, sir.” You nodded.

The ten steps it took to get from your office to his felt like an eternity. You felt sick knowing that you’d have to face the man that had broken you all those years ago. You may have ended things with him officially, but he had truly ended it when he decided that you weren’t worthy of communicating with. At this point you were just hoping that he’d grown up in that area, because you really needed him to take the news of Nora well.

“Agent Hotchner, I have the new child crimes unit chief here for you to meet.” And before Director Cruz could give Aaron your name, it escaped his own lips, framed by his shocked expression. “Oh, you two know each other?”

“Agent Hotchner was a guest lecturer for one of my undergrad courses. He was my inspiration for entering this field.” You supplied.

It wasn’t a total lie…

“Yes, she was a bright student. I’m not surprised to see that she made it to the FBI.” Aaron added.

“Alright then, I will leave you to catch up then.” With that, the Director made his way back to his office.

“How um…how are you?” Aaron inquired.

“I’m well Aaron. I don’t really think anymore small talk is necessary. I should go get settled into my office.” You huffed out a breath before exiting the room.

You made sure to take your time getting settled. Placing some personal things out on your desk and shelves. You had a few plants, some of your favorite pens, some file folders, you hung up your degrees, you organized your psychology books on the shelves along with some law books, and the last, most important detail was a framed photo of you and Nora that you sat next to your lamp.

The day had sped by as you made yourself comfortable on the couch in your office while reading through some emails from other units and some case files of theirs from previous cases to see how they typically ran things. You had been trekking along just fine until a quite knock broke your concentration. Looking up, you weren’t entirely surprised to see it was Aaron standing there.

“I just wanted to check in and see how you were doing. It’s almost eight.” Aaron informed you.

“Oh shit! I didn’t even realize!” You scrambled to check your phone.

“I know that you said small talk wasn’t necessary, and I agree. I would however really like to take you to dinner to catch up, and maybe I can explain some things.” Aaron requested.

“Oh, I um. I’m not sure that’s a good idea…I uh-”

“Please. I really need to explain myself, for how awful I was back then. No excuses, just maybe it’ll help you see my point of view. I’ve worked on myself a lot since then.” Aaron pleaded.

“I have to make a call first.” You conceded.

“Of course. I’ll give you some privacy.” He exited your office.

You quickly called your mom, letting her know that you were going to dinner with a coworker, asking her to take care of the remainder of Nora’s bedtime routine. You also had to inform her you wouldn’t need to be picked up. After which you spoke to Nora wishing her a good night and giving her a kiss through the phone. You then gathered your belongings and met Aaron in the bullpen.

“So, I don’t have my car. My parents are in town, they helped me move, so I left my car with them.” You explained sheepishly.

“No worries, if you’re comfortable with it, I can drive us. I can take you home after as well.” Aaron offered.

“Yeah, that would be great. Thank you.” You offered a gentle smile.

Aaron gestured you to the elevator and you made your way down to the parking garage. Aaron, ever the gentleman made sure to open the car door for you, both in the garage and again at the restaurant. There was a tinge of sadness that flooded your mind as you noticed where Aaron took you.

It had been your go to for date nights back when you were together. It was a recommendation from Dave – who you couldn’t help but feel a bit of resentment toward given the “too young” comment. You wondered if Aaron brought you here on purpose, and he must’ve picked up on your thought.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know why I drove us here. I guess it was muscle memory.” He shook his head.

“It’s okay. I’ve missed the food honestly.” You let out a little chuckle.

“I have too. I uh, I haven’t been here since we ended.” Aaron’s voice trailed off toward the end of his statement.

You were relieved that the night hadn’t been filled with awkward silence. It had, however, been a lot of catching up while Aaron avoided the main reason he brought you here and you avoided talking about Nora. You were both saved by the waiter when he came by to get your order.

“Would you like to see the wine list?”

“No thank you. I’ll just have water.” You were quick to answer.

“Water is fine for me also.” Aaron added.

“Are you ready to order your entrees then?”

“I will have the Mezzi Rigatoni, and she will have the Ricotta Cavatelli.” Aaron declared.

The waiter nodded and walked off. You couldn’t help but look at Aaron with a bit of shock. It is what you always ordered, so you couldn’t be mad, but it felt foreign and all too familiar at the same time. He always ordered for you when you used to go out, he used to know you better than you knew yourself…but that was then.

“I’m so sorry – I don’t know why I did that” Aaron was quick to apologize “Maybe coming here was a bad idea. It’s all too familiar.”

“It’s okay Aaron. I was going to order it anyway. Maybe we should talk about why we’re here.” You suggested.

“Of course. I want to explicitly state that I am not trying to make excuses for how I acted then, because I know I was horrible to you in the end. I do just want to give you some insight as to what I was going through at that time. I really want to communicate now what I didn’t then.” He began.

You nodded for him to continue as the waiter brought your food and drinks.  

“So, you know that Haley and I divorced before you and I got together officially. Well once you and I became serious and my time was either spent at work or with you and Jack, Haley didn’t seem to like that. She uh, she tried to fight me for primary custody of Jack.” Aaron explained.

“What? Aaron why didn’t you tell me?”

“Honestly, because I knew you’d take a step back in our relationship. I knew that with how selfless you are, you’d offer to back off and give me more time with Jack and I didn’t want that. I wanted to have you and Jack, so I kept it to myself. Which broke us anyway.” He concluded.

“I really wish you would’ve told me; things may have been different Aaron. I am glad you’re telling me now though.” You desperately wanted to reach for his hand but ultimately decided against it.

Now was as good a time as any, you had to tell him about Nora. He confessed something and it was your turn. And just as you were about to open your mouth, a shrill ring sounded from Aaron’s coat pocket.

“Hotchner. Yes…CCU as well? Yes – I’m with their unit chief now. We’re on our way.” Aaron hung up the phone and looked over at you. “Is your team here in Virginia?”

“Yes, they’re not meant to start until tomorrow.” You provided.

“Call them in, we have a case. Time is of the essence.” Aaron signaled for the check.

The two of you contacted your respective teams as you made your way back to the car. Aaron once again opened your door for you and drove you back to the office. You texted your parents and informed them of the case and asked your mom to let Nora know you’d be home as soon as you could.

30 minutes later you were on a private jet to Chicago with your team and the entirety of the BAU. You had unintentionally sat beside Aaron and began going over the case details with everyone. Aaron had begun explaining the preliminary profile, and you couldn’t help but chime in. Everyone was watching how the two of you riffed and bounced ideas off of one another so naturally.

“Just a reminder, there are new protocols for entry into the crime scene when we are locating the children. We need to follow those exactly to ensure we don’t harm these children more so than they are already. If you have any questions about those procedures feel free to ask me or my agents.” You instructed.

“Right. Now for assignments, Dave, JJ and Theo I’d like you to interview the family of the latest victim –”

“Molly Leland.” You corrected.

“Apologies. Dave, JJ, Theo go to the Leland’s and find out anything you can. Morgan, Prentiss and Leila, you three go to the abduction site, I want to ensure CSU didn’t miss anything. And Reid you’ll be with us at the station to start on the geographical profile.” Aaron finished, gesturing to the two of you.

Six days. It had been six days, and you still hadn’t made any progress on this case. Another child had gone missing, and things were incredibly tense. Both teams had been in the designated room within the precinct going over theories.

“I think we’re looking at this all wrong…” Leila began, “I think the person abducting these kids is younger than initially profiled.”

“Given their disorganization and the lack of consistent victimology, I’d say that’s a pretty plausible theory.” Spencer validated.

“Okay, Leila what were you thinking?” You inquired.

“What if it is a teenager? My thoughts were a kid who grew up in foster care – hence the random victimology. They just want siblings, and that’s why there aren’t any bodies.”  Leila suggested.

“I think she’s onto something. If it was a young adult who was newly alone in the world, they’d be looking to find people to surround themselves with.” Morgan continued.

“Garcia, run a search for kids that just aged out of group homes and foster care.” Aaron called to their technical analyst.

“Within the geographical limits I just sent over to you.” Spencer added.

When your phone rang, you excused yourself from the room, answering the call from your mom. You could immediately tell something was wrong given the slight lilt to her voice.

“Mom, what’s wrong?...Why do you need the children’s Tylenol. … Fever? What’s her temperature? … 103? MOM! You need to take her to the ER. … I’m serious! … I’m coming home. … Yes! … I’ll be there as soon as I can. … Take her straight to Bethesda. …Ok. Bye.”

You turned and jumped in surprise at Aaron standing there behind you.

“I just came to let you know we’re splitting up to check out a few leads. Is everything okay?” He asked.

You could tell he had more questions and that he’d more than likely heard the entirety of your conversation but was holding back in asking them.

“Um no. My daughter is sick. She has a pretty high fever. I uh, I need to get home.” You panicked.

“Okay. We will get you home then. I’ll send the teams out and I will make some calls. For now, just try to stay positive okay?” Aaron had always been the calm in the storm.

He sent three separate groups out to find the unsub and had made a few calls back to the director to get you on an emergency flight home. He went as far as to drive you to the hotel and then to the hangar.

“Aaron.”

“Get home to your daughter.” He offered a small smile.

“Thank you.”

Leila had texted to update you that they had caught the unsub and would be heading home in the next hour or so. You had been grateful that the team had successfully closed the case. What was killing you, was the state of your baby girl. She had an excessively high fever, and it just wouldn’t break.

“Miss, there’s someone here to see you.” The nurse informed you.

You looked over at your mom who gave you a nod and you exited the room. Following the nurse to the waiting room, you were surprised to see Aaron standing there.

“I just wanted to see how she’s doing, and how you are.” He declared.

“I um. I’m…” You couldn’t help but break down.

Aaron immediately pulled you into his arms and moved you both over to a couch in the waiting area. He let his hand brush over your hair and whispered reassurances to you. The two of you sat like this for a while before you slowly pulled away.

“Sorry. She just has this fever, and it won’t break, and they don’t know what’s wrong.”

“Sweetheart it’s okay. She will be okay.” Aaron grabbed your hand.

A moment went by and then an alarm sounded. Your gaze shot up as you watched medical staff make their way to Nora’s room. You got up and ran to her room, with Aaron hot on your heels.

“What’s happening? What is going on? Somebody tell me what is going on!” You were practically shouting as Aaron pulled you from the room.

Your mom was pacing in the hallway as Aaron held you back from storming back in. It was killing him to see you this distraught.

“It was a febrile seizure. This can happen when children have such a high fever. We’ve given her a sedative to try and help her rest and we pushed some more Tylenol to aid in breaking the fever.” The doctor explained.

“Is she going to be okay?” You questioned.

“We’re doing everything we can. A nurse will be by soon to take her temperature again.” The doctor walked away.

“I’m going to go find your dad. That way you two can have some privacy.” Your mom said pulling you into a hug.

“This is Nora.” You told Aaron as you ran your hand over her forehead, brushing her curls away from her face.

“She’s beautiful.” He complimented.

You sat in silence for a bit with him just watching Nora. You could tell part of him was itching to ask, but you also knew that Nora was a bit small for her age so he couldn’t be sure that she was his. This moment of avoidance was terminated the second the billing staff came in to get all of your information.

“Hey there, I wanted to confirm all of the info for billing. Do you have your driver’s license and insurance card?” The staff requested.

“Yes, here it is.” You passed her the card.

She filled in all of your information, clicking away on her keyboard while the rest of the room sat with a looming silence. You could feel the question coming. You had been an idiot to give Nora her father’s last name.

“Okay and can you confirm the patient’s name and date of birth for me?”

“Yes, it’s uh…Nora Leigh Hotchner. That’s H-O-T-C-H-N-E-R. Date of birth is 10/4/2019.” You could feel Aaron’s gaze burning into you.

“Alright, here are those cards back. Thank you.” She made her leave.

“Seriously?”

“Aaron, let me explain.”

“Not here.” He motioned toward Nora.

He swiftly made his way out of the room, and you were quick to follow. In noticing your parents, you signaled for them to sit with Nora as you practically chased after Aaron. He didn’t stop until he was in a private waiting room, it was only then that he turned to face you.

“Are you fucking kidding me? She’s mine? And what, you didn’t think to tell me…I don’t know, FOUR YEARS AGO?” Aaron was fuming.

A part of you understood his response, but another part of you was furious that he wasn’t allowing you to explain before flying off the handle.

“Don’t yell at me. If we’re going to do this, we will talk like adults. I will not sit here and allow you to berate me.” You held your ground.

“Okay.”

“I found out I was pregnant after I left for New York. And at that point Aaron, I was so devastated by our breakup, and I just didn’t think I could be around you. I know that’s not fair, but I had thought you and I were forever and then we’d just ended. I was going to tell you last week at dinner, but then we got called in. Aaron I am so sorry, and I know that doesn’t make up for the time you’ve lost, but I also need you to know that I did what I felt like I had to do.” You let your gaze fall to the floor in guilt.

“I understand. I’m not happy, but I get it.” He reached for your hand.

You accepted the gesture and furthered it by pulling him into an embrace. He wrapped his arms around you and rested his head atop your own.

“I’ve told her about you.” You whispered.

“What?”

“I’ve told her about you. She’s seen pictures and heard stories. She knows you Aaron.”

He held you a little tighter and you nuzzled a little closer. After a few moments he suggested that you both get back to your girl. You both sat with her all night, letting your parents go home. At three in the morning, the night nurse gave you the good news, her fever had finally broken. The next day, Aaron drove the two of you home, leaving with a scheduled family day where you would introduce Jack and Nora. You had also discussed talking to the kids about their birthday party (since their birthday’s are only 3 days apart). With Jack turning seven and Nora turning 5 in a little more than a month, you wanted to plan something big for the two of them.

** One Month Later **

“Okay, the bounce house is set up and the petting zoo guy just arrived. Where should he set up?” Penelope asked.

“On the southeast side!” Dave hollered.

You were setting up the last of the hors d’oeuvres, while the members of both the CCU and BAU helped get Dave’s backyard set up for the kids birthday party. You were so incredibly grateful for this family you’d come to have.

“We’re here with cake!” Hestia announced.

“Hes! Selene! Hey guys, you can set that up on that round table over there.” You pointed.

Selene came over and gave you a hug, you snuck a snack into her hand and nodded over to your bag.

“My iPad is in there with the Twilight movies all downloaded. Dave has a sitting room down the hall to the right.” You winked at her.

“Thanks mom!” Selene said hugging you once more before heading off.

“Do you have another kid I don’t know about?” Aaron joked, wrapping his arms around you from behind.

“Ha ha! No, Selene just calls me mom. We’ve both taken care of her since their mom passed, but it became an inside joke that I acted as the mom to Nora, Selene and Hestia.” You huffed a laugh.

“It’s true!” Hestia confirmed, before taking a case of juice boxes outside to the cooler.

“You know, I wouldn’t be opposed to it.” Aaron murmured, pressing a kiss to your neck.

“Opposed to what?” You giggled.

“More kids.”

“Aaron! We only just got back together, and we are at our children’s birthday party! Behave yourself.” You hissed.

“I know, but this time around, I’m not letting you go. I plan on marrying you and I just want you to know that I’m open to more children, one day, when and if you’re ready.” He punctuates it with a kiss to your lips.

“Well, I’m open to it too. And whenever you ask, my answer is yes Aaron. You’ve proven to me that you’ve grown since we ended before and I can’t stand the thought of going without you again so, I’m in this, for as long as you’ll have me.” You kissed him once more before carrying a tray outside to the party.

Aaron smiled and grabbed his phone, opening it to check the status of his order. There on his screen was confirmation that your ring had been customized, made, sized, quality checked, and would be shipping out soon.

He couldn’t wait to spend forever with you.

[daycourtofficial]

Gift Exchange

Summary: you and Azriel exchange solstice gifts in private, amazed at the thoughtfulness of each other’s gifts.

Author’s note: this is PURE FLUFF okay you could make stuffed animals out of this

At the end of the night, after everyone else went to bed, you went back up to your room to grab your gift for Azriel. You met him in the hallway between your rooms and invited him into yours.

You had asked if you could exchange gifts privately - citing the fact that Cassian would be very upset at the gift you got for Azriel and that the last thing you need this Solstice is another one of Cassian’s gift-related tantrums.

You hand Azriel the thick envelope, allowing him to pull out the contents. He analyzes the papers, then looks at you quizzically, “it’s blank parchment.”

You place your hand on the paper saying, “I am a nosy busybody” and when you pull your hand away, Azriel watches as ink begins staining the paper, creating a map of the house of wind. The map has all of the floors, even the floors in the library. All of the rooms are labelled, and looking he sees names on the map that are moving.

“You once told me that you hated going on missions because you didn’t know what was happening back at home, so I created an enchanted map for you to see. It shows all of us in real time - see here we are in my room.”

He looks at where you’re pointing and sees both of your names, except yours has a little heart next to it.

He’s shocked for words - this is the most thought out gift he had ever received. The amount of time it must have taken for you to create this is making his head spin. Not to mention when he told you he hated being gone, he was mainly thinking of you and being afraid something was happening to you.

“Um I also made two other maps - one for the townhouse and one for Feyre and Rhys’s new home. I know you usually leave some shadows behind to watch over us when you’re gone, so I figured this way you could have extra peace of mind that we’re okay.”

He can hear the nerves in your voice and he’s not going to correct you that he only leaves shadows behind to watch over you. He leaves one or two to watch over the houses, but he leaves about 5 or 6 who watch over you the entire time he’s gone. He had no idea you even realized he did that.

He looks into your eyes, watching you ramble before telling you, “this is the best gift I’ve ever received”. You beam with pride at this news - thrilled that he likes your gift so much.

“Honestly,” he continues, “this makes my gift look like rubbish.”

You shake your head. “No way, I’m sure I’ll love whatever you got for me.”

He had two boxes for you to open - the first one was a rare, first edition of a book that you adore. “This book must be over a thousand years old!” You exclaim, amazed the book is in such good condition. “I believe it only had one owner during it’s lifetime. Open it to the title page,” he tells you, grinning at your excitement.

“And it’s signed!” You exclaim, pure joy radiating off of you. “Thank you thank you thank you!” You exclaim, embracing him so tightly Azriel thinks you might kill him. There are worse ways to go, he thinks.

“You have one more to open,” he coughs, a nervous energy taking over him. You take the smaller box from him, removing the lid. Inside is a beautiful cobalt blue gem necklace and matching earrings. You’re stunned by how beautiful they are, even letting out a soft ‘wow’. You pull the necklace out of the box, and you realize the necklace is the same color has his siphons.

“How did you find something that matched your siphons so perfectly?” You ask, not taking your eyes off the necklace. “I didn’t,” he replies, and you realize then that he had parts of his siphon turned into the jewelry you’re wearing. You look into his eyes, about to ask him for more, but he speaks before you can.

“I uh, figured since you carry my heart everywhere with you, you might as well display it.” Your brain must be short-circuiting, because surely you misheard him. “I love you, and I uh hope that you might feel the same and want to carry me with you everywhere you go.”

You’re not sure what to say, you keep looking between his lips and his eyes and the necklace, when you figure out what to do. You turn around, handing him the necklace, sweeping your hair to the side. A gentle request: put your mark on me.

Azriel takes the necklace in his hands, guiding the chain around your neck, clasping it into place. Once secured, you turn around, and lunge for him, wrapping your hands around his neck and jaw, holding him in place, you press everything into the kiss. Every desire, every laugh between you two, every moment. He kisses you back just as fiercely, sliding his hands down to your thighs, prompting you to jump into his arms, wrapping your thighs around his waist.

You break away from the kiss to catch a breath. “Happy solstice,” you tell him, as he kisses down your neck. “I think you have one last present to unwrap!” You can feel him laugh into your neck as you bring his head back up to kiss him some more.

[lvis44]

Sweet Escape Pt. 6 // LH 44

Lewis Hamilton x Y/N

Warnings: Swearing, 18+ (mentions of sexual activities), Anxiety, Jealousy, Angst, Mentions of Alcohol, Regret, Emotional Turmoil, Not Edited

Word Count: 4.3k

Summary: Paradise is supposed to be fun and relaxing... a Sweet Escape, but when unspoken feelings and jealousy rise to the surface, everything can be turned upside down in the blink of an eye.

Note: I felt bad leaving you all in pain, not that this will be much better but hey, we're getting there! This part is a tad shorter but I felt that this whole thing should be stand alone. The next part will be the final part of the story, but don't worry there will be an epilogue. I'm glad you have all been enjoying so far and I greatly appreciate everyone's support!

I am not a professional writer and all of this is a work of fiction and is strictly for fun. Enjoy! xxx

Previous Sections: Prologue - Part One - Part Two - Part Three - Part Four - Part Five

It was nearing three in the morning when you heard your door open. The second you had arrived home you had grabbed your stuff out of Charlotte's room and moved back into your old one. You weren’t particularly in the mood to face anyone. You had spent the last few hours quietly sobbing into your knees, balled up on the bed like a child. You had seemingly run out of tears but the sorrow didn’t change. You hadn’t even heard everyone come home, somehow beating them even on foot, you assumed it was because they had to go find everyone else.

“What?” You snapped at whomever had entered your room, not even looking toward the door.

“Hey, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” You heard Miles’ voice from the doorway, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Do I seem fucking okay?” You snapped again, your filter long gone.

He let out a sigh, closing the door behind him softly as he dared to make his way over to your bed, sitting down beside you gently.

“I’m sorry Y/N, it wasn’t fair to you to cause a scene like that.” He says softly, glancing over at you to see you staring into space, your attention fixated on the blank wall to the side of the room.

You scoff, not trying to be rude but unable to control anything that comes out of you, “Well at least one of you knows how to fucking apologize. I’m still mad at you though.”

You hear him sigh again, moving closer to you so he can place a hand on your back, rubbing softly. You don’t even have the energy to flinch away from him, just letting him rest his hand there and enjoying the slightest bit of comfort.

“I know you’re pissed at Lewis, you have every right to be. Don’t kill her but Charlotte kind of filled me in when we got home. He massively fucked up.” His hand continues it’s light circling pattern, “And truth be told so did I. I don’t know why but I constantly feel like I need to protect you and hearing that asshole call you anything other than perfect made me want to kill him, he’s honestly lucky Lewis had half a brain to pull me away from him. I know you can take care of yourself but I’m always gonna look out for you, no matter what. Hence the reason I tried to deck my best friend earlier tonight.”

“I’m sorry, you what?” You whip your head towards him, that last bit of information really catching your interest.

“Yeah, when Charlotte filled me in I was still livid with the whole situation from the bar and finding out what sparked it really pissed me off. It only felt right he get at least a swift kick to the groin. Not to disappoint you but Char stopped me. I’m shocked you didn’t hear us.” He almost sounds like he wants to laugh as he tells you, like he can’t believe the whole situation himself.

“He needs a kick to the groin, taking that thing out of commission for a little while might do everyone some good.” You joke dryly, making Miles laugh next to you.

“If you need me to do it, I’m more than willing.” He offers, only kind of a joke, you feel like if you genuinely asked him to do it, he would, given the circumstances.

“I hate that I can hate him and love him all at the same time. I don’t want to lose him, but this can’t carry on this way.” You confess to Miles.

“I know Charlotte already said this to the both of you, but you guys really need to fucking talk.” He tells you seriously, before adding, “And sober.”

“I know, I know.” You groan, “I’m sorry we’ve managed to fuck up so much of vacation.”

“It’s been much more him than you sweetheart, he brought every ounce of drama himself. I could tell something was up with you over the last few days but I couldn’t really figure out what. I’m sorry it’s him.” Miles brings you in for a side hug, his arm wrapping protectively around you.

“I’m just so fucking sick of it all. I’m so tired.” You tell him, leaning against his shoulder.

“I know, understandably so.” Miles lets out a sigh, holding you in silence for a few moments. “You get some sleep and I’ll check on you in the morning, okay?” He says as he presses a kiss to your temple.

All you do is nod, knowing he’s right.

“I know you’re not all good or anything, but I’m glad you're still here. I was worried you were gonna be at the airport by the time we got home, we freaked for a second when we saw your stuff wasn’t in Charlottes anymore.” He tells you quietly, still not having let you go.

“I just didn’t want to have to face anyone, figured moving back to my old room would be the easiest way.” You just about whisper, feeling your exhaustion catch up to you.

“Well, I’m sorry to have intruded, but I needed to check on you,” Miles says, kissing your forehead one more time before easing you back toward your pillows, “get some sleep hun.”

. . .

You had no idea what time it was when you finally woke up and you have no idea how long you’ve been laying in your bed staring at the ceiling. It has to have been a good hour at this point. You can hear people moving around somewhere in the house, the last thing you want to do is go and interact. You were embarrassed, angry, hurt, and so much more you couldn’t even wrap your head around. You’ve had enough. As you’ve been laying there, more than once you’ve contemplated if you could manage to pack your stuff and sneak out of the house, fly back home without another word. You knew you couldn't and more than likely someone would come track you down the second they knew you were gone, well normally they would. You don’t know what your friends know of the situation. How much did everyone else see, how much had they been told? You knew you should get up and eat something but you had no appetite, anxiety and dread having taken over your body. You lay there going through your thoughts for more than an hour. You want to sit down and talk with Lewis, you need to, but the anxiety of the possible outcome is paralyzing you. What if he confirms your fears, admits that all he’s ever been trying to do is get it your pants? What if now that you’ve shut him down he doesn’t see a reason to keep you around anymore? The rational part of your brain knows that you're overthinking, that your friendship with Lewis still stands on semi solid ground. Maybe there will be some change to how he is around you or how often he’s with you but at the base of it all your still close friends. Lewis knows things about you that your own family doesn’t, he’s been able to read you better than you can read yourself on more than a few occasions, all of that can’t go up in smoke this quickly. Can it?

There’s a soft knock on your door, making you groan. You don’t respond hoping they’ll go away. They don’t, only knocking again and gently pushing the door open. You roll your head to the side, seeing Miles peeking his head into your room, a comforting smile on his face. True to his word, here he was to check on you.

“Good morning,” He says softly, making his way into your room once he sees you’re awake, “I brought you something to eat, you need to get something in you.”

You give him a small smile as he places a tray of fruit and a large glass of ice water on the table next to your bed.

“Thanks.” You croak out, your voice hoarse from crying all night.

“Everybodies in their rooms for the most part if you need to venture out of hiding at any point.” He tells you, knowing you’ve been avoiding everyone, but one person in particular.

You just nod, taking a small sip of the cold water. It feels amazing on your burning throat, as if it’s your first drink of water after a month in the desert.

“What time is it?” You ask, trying to get some bearing on where you are in your life, even if it's just the time of day.

He glances down at the watch on his wrist, “Just before noon.”

It’s still earlier than you thought it was at this point and it fills you with a small sense of dread, there’s so much more of the day to go about trying to avoid everyone.

“You know no ones mad at you, right?” Miles makes sure you know that there’s no hostility facing you in the house.

You just shrug, unsure of how true that actually is and also not quite wanting to admit that it’s more so that you’re embarrassed to even see your friends. There’s another soft knock on the door and you're praying it’s Charlotte, the only other person you could bare being around right now. Much to your dismay, a very tired looking Lewis pokes his head around the door that Miles had left ajar. Your breath hitches, anxiety filling your body.

“Oh, shit, sorry, I’ll um-” Lewis stutters, not wanting to interrupt your chat with Miles.

“All good man, I was just gonna head out anyway.” Miles says, standing from where he had sat on your bed.

You know Miles can sense your anxiety but he gives you a look that says “just get it over with” and heads towards the door. Before he exits he turns back toward you and says “Holler for me if you need anything, alright?”

He whispers something to Lewis as he walks out and you can see a pained expression on Lewis’ face at whatever he said. Once he’s gone, Lewis stands awkwardly in the doorway, not quite being able to look at you as he plays with his hands down in front of him.

“You can come in.” You squeak, not actually fully wanting to say it but knowing it needs to be done. 

He finally looks at you, putting his hand on the door as if to close it but you can see the question in his eyes. You nod, not wanting your whole conversation to be heard by everyone in the house. He very gently pushes the door closed, making his way further into your room. He looks around, evidently unsure of what to do with himself. He opts for perching on the edge of your dresser just across from where you sit on the bed, you’re facing each other and you can feel your stomach filling with butterflies, but not the good kind you usually get when you’re around him.

“I owe you an apology, well, multiple apologies.” He finally says, looking down at the ground, ashamed. His voice is hoarse as if he’s just woken up.

You don’t say anything, unsure of what you would even say.

“I’m sorry for the way that I’ve treated you. I’m sorry for not talking to you sooner. I’m sorry that my company embarrassed you in front of everyone. I’m sorry for my behavior last night, all of it. I’ve treated you in a way that if anyone else did the same to you, I would hate them.” He finally apologizes for the last few days, finally looking at you as he does so.

He looks exhausted, much older than usual with bags under his eyes and more scruff than you're used to him allowing.

“Thank you,” you whisper, “and I’m sorry I avoided talking to you too.”

He shakes his head, “It shouldn’t have been on you to fix, I’m the one that fucked up.”

You offer a small smile in his direction. All is not immediately forgiven and this conversation needs to continue, but hearing him acknowledge the reasons he needed to apologize in the first place does your heart some good at the very least.

“Why did you do it?” You ask quietly, your voice timid, not sure you truly want the answer.

He looks surprised by the question, also not quite sure how to respond. He lets out a sigh as he collects his thoughts.

“I know it doesn’t make it right,” He starts, pausing for a moment to make sure his words come across as clearly as possible, “but, it’s been on my mind for a long time. I’m well aware that I went about it all wrong, especially last night, I was incredibly out of line last night, but I’ve thought about it alot.” He cringes at his admission.

You furrow your brow, worried this is going exactly the direction you feared, hoping he will continue.

“I don’t mean for that to sound creepy, but I’ve been really attracted to you for quite a while. I should have made that clear in a much different way. I never want you to feel like I’m trying to take advantage of you in any way, it makes me sick to think that I have ever made you feel like that.” He says, a look of regret on his tired face.

“What I said last night was harsh, my drunk brain just felt like it was the best way to get my point across.” You admit to him.

“But it wasn’t really that harsh, despite it not being intentional, it’s kind of true. What I said on the other hand, that was harsh, I never should have called you a tease or said you indulged in it, it wasn’t fair.” His words are firm, for the first time he’s holding steady eye contact with you, demanding your attention so you feel the remorse in his words.

“I need to be honest, it really hurts that you’re able to treat me like all the other girls you fuck around with, I thought I was more important to you than them.” You quietly admit to him.

“Fuck, you are. So much more important to me.” He says, finally moving from where he’s been leaning on your dresser and cautiously making his way toward where you sit on your bed. He carefully sits next to you, leaving a good distance but making sure he’s near you.

“Then how can you be so okay with chatting up the bar tender, grinding on some random woman, and then still come over and try to fuck me, yet again. All because your ego couldn’t handle me dancing with someone else, when you were doing exactly the same.” You push, needing him to truly understand just how shitty his actions made you feel.

“You’re right, I was jealous. In my ideal world you would have been dancing with me all night, but I knew you wouldn’t have allowed that where we were in our relationship. And then you found that prick and the way you were with him, it just set something off in me. I wasn’t thinking. I know that sounds like a horrible excuse but there was part of me that was hoping I could make you just as jealous as I was, not that you would be when you’ve made it clear you’re not interested, and I should have respected that. Between the alcohol and my ego, I let myself treat you like shit and there’s no excuse for that, I would take it back in a heartbeat if I could.” His face is sincere, you can tell just how much he regrets last night but it doesn’t automatically let him off the hook. He continues “And as for the bartender, I wasn’t chatting her up, she’s an old friend. I’ve never slept with her and never will, she’s like family. I got distracted talking with her and by the time I found you again you had that Jason dude on your hip.”

You want to laugh, not only at him forgetting Jadens name, but also at him saying you’re not interested. He has every right to assume you’re not, you’ve done nothing but turn him down. You almost want to tell him just how wrong he is, how the only reason you said no is because you don’t want to lose him, but right now is not the time for that, you don’t want to open any windows and derail the conversation that so far is going shockingly well, even if it hurts.

“Is she the woman you went to after your fight with Talia?” You push him slightly, hoping to get more out of him while he’s being so honest with you.

His face screws up for a second, confused how you would know that. You see the questioning look on his face and rush to clarify, to confess.

“I know you lied to me that night, or at least I kind of hope you did. I overheard you and Charlotte talking the next morning, something about a woman named Marina.” You explain.

He lets out a deep sigh, “Yeah, I’m sorry I lied to you. I wasn’t particularly in the mood to explain the whole situation. But to answer your question, yes, that is the woman that I went and saw.” He doesn’t offer any further explanation, you want to push him but you allow him to leave it at that, at least for now.

You both sit in silence for a moment, trying to figure out where to go from here.

“Lewis,” You say quietly, getting his attention, “I don’t want to lose you.”

His face morphs into absolute sorrow and pain, for a moment you worry that he’s mourning your friendship, not knowing how to break the news to you.

“Y/N, you’ll never lose me. I would go crazy without you.” His voice is soft but sincere as he carefully scoots closer to you on the bed, testing the waters slightly. You let him get close enough that your knees are touching, his hand coming to rest over yours, squeezing tightly.

“How do you think I could ever let you go?” He asks with a deep frown.

“Because you seemed to be okay with ruining our friendship just to get me in your bed.” You accuse him, your voice wavering.

“Sweetheart, I was never trying to ruin our friendship, I-” He takes a long pause, gathering himself with a deep breath, “I don’t know how to explain it exactly, but truth be told, me trying to get you into bed was never just me trying to sleep with you. It’s been a long time since I felt for someone how I feel for you and I’m not good at making that clear. I don’t even truly understand everything that I feel for you but, I know it’s a whole lot more and a whole lot different than how I feel about all of my other friends. I guess somewhere in my head I felt like I could get that across physically, that maybe it would make everything make sense once I had you. I know it sounds ridiculous but I don’t know how to do this.”

His confession both shocks and confuses you, your mind flitting back to the night he disappeared after his fight with Talia. That night he had told you that he had feelings for her, now he was trying to convince you of his feelings for you.

“What about Talia?” You ask, voice still unsure.

“What about Talia?” He throws back at you, confused as to why she matters right now.

“The night that we talked, after your fight, you told me you were worried that you had messed everything up with someone that you cared about or liked a lot, I don’t remember exactly what you said but…” You trail off, a slow moment of realization coming over you.

He chuckles softly, shaking his head as he looks down at the ground before returning his eyes to yours, “Y/N, I was talking about you. In no universe was I ever even considering Talia.” His words confirm what you’ve just realized and you want to slap yourself, you feel like an idiot.

“I- oh my god.” You breathe out, shutting your eyes. His eye contact suddenly feeling like too much.

You stand from the bed, disconnecting your hand from his. He stays seated, looking up at you as you begin to pace, letting you process what he’s said.

“How long?” You ask suddenly, stopping and looking at him.

“In all honesty, I don’t really know. I only really realized it sometime last year. I was thinking it would go away, that it was just some silly crush, but it just kept getting worse.” He explains, shrugging his shoulders as if it’s totally normal.

“So all the time that you were sleeping with all these other women and still flirting with me was, what?” You feel yourself getting agitated, not quite sure how to feel about his actions.

“I kind of figured that if I kept sleeping around that I would be satisfied and I wouldn’t feel the same way, but I couldn't help but keep flirting with you, it’s just naturally how I am with you, it feels right.” Once again he shrugs as if it’s no big deal.

“Do you not want to feel this way about me?” You ask quietly, a slight sting of rejection settling over you.

“No, no, that’s not it at all.” He rushes out, standing to approach you, carefully he puts his hands on your arms, making you look at him, “It’s not at all that I don’t want to feel this way about you, I’m glad I do to be completely honest. It’s just that I’ve been single for a very long time and I truly do not want to fuck this up, I’m scared that I’m going to and I’m going to lose you. It felt like everything would be so much easier if I could just keep being your friend and keep you in my life. But that didn’t happen, I still managed to fuck it up.”

You can feel tears forming in your eyes, he notices them too, a look of regret on his face.

“So what do you want?” You ask him, needing more clarity.

“All in all, I want you, I want to do this with you and god I want to not fuck it up. I want you to be mine, all mine, all in.” He says confidently, much more sure of himself than you feel.

You stare at him as the tears start to roll down your cheeks, your emotions are at an all time high. Part of you is filled with pure ecstasy, the man that you have crushed on for years is standing here in front of you confessing his feelings, asking you to be his. The other part of you is filled with absolute fear, the thought of trying and failing with him, losing one of the most amazing men you have ever met, your best friend. You know that a life with Lewis could either end in the most beautiful love you have ever experienced or the worst, most gut wrenching heartache known to man.

“Can I hug you? You look like you could use it.” His voice is soft, his heart aching as he watches you cry.

All you can do is nod as you let yourself fall into his hard chest. He holds you against him tightly, rubbing soft circles on your back as he once again lets you cry into his chest. You’ve done this too many times in the last twenty four hours. He stays silent, just letting you work through your emotions. When you finally calm down you pull your head from his chest but he keeps you tight against him, one of his hands coming up to wipe some remaining tears from your cheek. You revel in the feeling of his touch, how comforting a simple action can be. As you stare into his eyes you can see how much emotion and affection is hidden behind them. A soft, sad smile across his lips.

“What’s going through that beautiful mind?” He asks, his voice just above a whisper.

“I don’t know.” You tell him honestly.

He just nods, understanding how overwhelmed you must be.

“I need time, I need to think.” You say, averting your eyes from his, knowing you’ll say yes if you look into them for a moment too long.

“Take all the time you need, I’ll always be right here if you decide you’ll have me.” He says softly, pressing a kiss to the top of your head as he gives you another proper hug.

He finally steps away from you, leaving you feeling displaced in your own room, before he turns to leave he grabs your hand, squeezing it tightly, “And Y/N, no matter what you decide, you will never lose me. I will always be right here.” With that he leaves the room, leaving you behind with a whirlwind of thoughts.

As much as every part of you wants to believe him in saying he’ll never leave you, you can’t help but wonder if it’s fully true. If you try this and all of it comes crashing down, you can’t imagine being able to be around him.

Is the possibility of loving and being loved by the most incredible human being worth the possibility of losing him entirely? 

[subwonwooagenda]

Hi Annabelle! I checked your profile and wasn’t sure if your requests were open or not. If they aren’t, please feel free to ignore this.

However, if they are, I was wondering if you could write something about Pezzy with a (preferably black) plus size female reader? I was thinking the guys (Droid, Grizzy, Puffer, and whoever else is in that group idk them all) do another sleepover stream, and they keep asking Pezzy to invite his girlfriend since nobody knows what she looks like. He gives in and has her come over, and everybody (stream audience included) is shocked because she’s so pretty. Like, they don’t understand how Pezzy got her because everyone thinks she’s out of his league. At some point she goes to the bathroom real quick and everyone is asking if it’s a joke or something but still can’t believe he’s serious about it. (I feel like Grizzy would be really happy because she’s black lol) She comes back from the bathroom and starts making dark jokes or has the same sense of humor as everybody else there, and the guys are like “oh yeah, she’s definitely dating the right guy” or something and they accept her, and have a really fun rest of the stream. When it ends, she lays down with Pezzy and reassures him that she loves him and doesn’t want anyone else.

Sorry this is so long, I thought I saw something that said the more detailed the better so I hope this is more than enough information lol. Love your work!

Hello!! They are open even though my adhd makes me procrastinate asks but I’m trying to push them out! I LOVE LOVE LOVE this ask, i appreciate it so much. I really hope you like it, if I missed something let me know and I’ll rewrite it!

Sleepless Worries

Black!Fem!Plus Size!Reader X Pezzy (FT. Grizzy, Puffer, and Droid)

using puffers sleep stream to base this off of, the one where Droid and Pezzy had matching onesies

Warnings: Grizzy uses the n word. I AM A BLACK WOMAN SO CHILL BEFORE YALL COMMENT. Some cursing, sexual humor, unhinged chat, I don’t know if pezzys ever dated anyone plus sized, if he has then my bad lol, if there is any spelling errors please let me know and I can edit it. I will not tolerate hateful comments or bullying, you will be blocked.

In all honesty, Pezzy thought you were gonna say no.

He’s asked you a million and one times to meet his closest friends, you always told him no. You wanted to make sure you and him were truly gonna work out before you both met each others people. He knew why you were nervous. You were unlike any of the women Pezzy ever dated, and although you never really felt many insecurities about your size, you knew how cruel the internet could be so you didn’t feel ready at the time to put yourself in their view.

But here you were, getting ready to join him on Puffer’s sleep stream. You figured he would ask you, the entire stream the boys were pestering him to invite you, which in turn roped chat into pestering him and Pezzy is indeed a weak man when it comes to you. Sue him for wanting to cuddle his baby as chat scares the shit out of them with scuffed audios.

By the time you were ready, you heard your front door open and close, knowing that your lovely boyfriend let himself in with his extra key. You laughed to yourself as he bursted into your room, adorned in a green onesie with a four leaf clover on the front. He instantly lit up when he saw you.

“You don’t have to do this if you’re not ready, baby. They can wait as long as you want them to wait.” He, yet again, assured you. You loved how assuring he was to you but you were honestly getting a little annoyed with his constant reassurance.

You smiled and cupped his face with your hands, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, his hands immediately finding their place in your plush hips. “It’s okay, Pez. I wanna do this, I think we’ve made them wait long enough.” You laughed, enjoying the feeling of his hands on your body. He let out a big sigh, placing a kiss on your nose this time, smiling fondly as your nose scrunched up. “I guess I just wanna keep you to myself just a little bit longer.”

You kissed his cheek, shaking your head at him fondly as you pointed at your computer monitors which displayed Puffer’s stream, “Come on, babe, they’re waiting on us.” You gave him no room to complain as you grabbed your phone and blanket. Pezzy grabbed your bag which held your skin care, silk bonnet and your stuffed Yoshi that Pezzy won you at a carnival. What’s a sleepover without a secondary cuddle buddy?

Pezzy and you held hands as you walked the short walk back to the house, talking about anything and everything. He could tell you got a little more nervous the closer you got to the house. Your free hand was fiddling with the ends of your hair, a new wig that you installed that morning. “Don’t worry, they’re gonna love you. I think you and Grizzy will get on better than anyone.” He chuckled, feeling a bit better when he saw the smile on your face. You were close to the same age as Grizzy and you were black so he figured you two would be the best of friends very quickly.

You knew how much the three boys meant to Pezzy. His absolute best friends so the last thing you wanted was to make a terrible impression. Pezzy wasn’t worried about it though. He knew you. He knew the way you acted and the wonderful humor you had, he knew you would be just fine.

He gave your hand yet another squeeze when he unlocked the front door, laughing softly at the small jump you gave when you both heard yet another scuffed buzz lightyear commercial. “Unfortunately, that will happen a lot.” He mumbled.

“Pezzy? That you?” You heard Puffer ask, another voice, Droids, adding in, “Imagine it’s not. We might get murdered, dog.” He said, the rest of them laughing at the thought. Pezzy shouted back to them, pulling you along with him as he stepped into the room.

Puffer was kind enough to mute the streams audio so they could properly meet you without Chat hearing as Pezzy introduced you all to eachother. You gave them a smile and a wave, not exactly knowing why you were so nervous when all three of them smiled at you so widely.

“It’s actually crazy that you’re real.” Grizzy joked, all of you laughing as Pezzy threw his hands up and rolled his eyes. “Are you sure you’re not kidnapped?” Droid asked making Pezzy throw a pillow at him. “I’m sorry! She’s just too pretty man, it’s wild you bagged her.” They joked.

Pezzy set up some of your things on his side of the couch, kissing your cheek as you told him you were going to the bathroom, walking off into the direction Its almost as if the mood shifted a bit, the boys instantly fixating on Pezzy.

“….What?” He asked them, which seemed to open the floodgates. The boys instantly began questioning him. They thought it was a prank or maybe Pezzy felt that with all their jokes on their videos and streams, he felt like he had something to prove to them so he faked a relationship with you to get them to shut up.

To be honest, Pezzy felt a tiny bit of sadness that they apparently thought that he couldn’t get with someone as beautiful and great as you. When they noticed he got a little bit sad, they felt bad. They didn’t mean to come off as rude or mean, they were just genuinely blindsided by you. But from the way Pezzy looked at you, like you hung the stars in his sky, they were quickly losing their doubts.

Meanwhile.

You were silently laughing your ass off. You did your business and as you were washing your hands you noticed a certain bottle sitting on the counter. The bathroom you were in was shared between droid and Pezzy, so the fact that you found a bottle of lube just out and about made you double over in muffled laughter.

You knew it belonged to you and Pezzy. Droid was a virgin and Pezzy adored the ground you walk on so you know he would never cheat on you. You smirked to yourself as you got a wonderful idea, grabbing the lube as you left the bathroom.

You stood in the entrance of the hallway, not wanting the stream to pick up on what you were about to do. “So, I’m fine with Pezzy having a side boy, but which of you side boys enjoy cherry flavor?” You asked, all of them turning towards you. Their faces held confusion until they realized what you were holding, instantly doubling over in laughter.

In between his laughter, Puffer nodded his head. “Yup, you’re definitely Pezzy’s girl.” He confirmed. The other two nodded their head, shaking their head as you threw the lube in Droids lap, laughing as he screams. Pezzy patted the spot next to him, smiling as you sat with them.

You were in between Pezzy and Droid, happily snuggling into the blanket you and your boyfriend were sharing. Puffer got up to fiddle with his stream settings, monitoring the chat. The boys promised Pezzy that if anyone was saying anything negative they would end the stream, without question. But from what they could see, the chat was full of compliments and simps towards you.

Pezzy handed you your Yoshi plush, smiling to himself as you and Grizzy chatted. You both were talking very animatedly about the newest horror game he recently played on his channel. You played it yourself so you knew about the game very well. He counted himself lucky, he had some great friends and a wonderful girl.

He zoned back in at the loud sound of you and Grizzy dabbing up, “My nigga!” Grizzy shouted, both you and his laughter contagious as the other boys laughed along. Puffer unmuted the stream, all of you screaming at the loud sound that chat sent in.

You felt good. These were people that you knew would be a constant in the life you were living with Pezzy, and you found no nerves about that.

The rest of the stream went on without a hitch. You blended very well with the chaotic energy the boys had, and chat loved your presence, everyone being extremely respectful. Of course you had the negative comments about your skin color and your weight but with reassurance from you they didn’t end the stream and the lovely mods took care of it for them.

Once the stream ended, everyone went to their respective rooms, you bunking up with Pezzy. You both exchanged little whispers and sweet words as you both got ready for bed. As you both laid down, his arms tugging you as close to him as you could be, you could tell he was still slightly bothered by the comments the boys made at the beginning of the night.

You pressed a kiss to his jaw, making him look down at you. “I hope you know, you’re all I’ll ever need. I love you, and no matter what anyone says to you, that won’t ever change my feelings. You’re it for me.” He smiled down at you, pulling you closer as he kissed you, his hand, holding your leg over his lap. He appreciated your words, sighing contently as the doubts finally left him. He watched you fall asleep, his hand rubbing up and down your thigh. He was grateful you got along with his friends and he honestly couldn’t wait to see his favorite people all together again.

With that thought, he fell asleep with you, the feeling of your gentle heart beat soothing him into a wondrous dream.

[lost-technology]

Trigun Maximum - What the Gender???!!! Okay, so I'm sitting here doing a re-read of Trigun Maximum Vol. 5 and I get to the last chapter. I am reading the print edition from Dark Horse - Japanese publication in 2001, English language translation publication in 2005 according to the back of the book. Anyway, I got a little confused by something I hadn't remembered that is apparently there: The page where Elendira is dumped out onto the ground from the Ark (and wants to gut the helmsman) Meryl says: "A transvestite?! (He has a nicer figure than I do...)" I had forgotten that because I believe that most people tend to refer to the Trigun Manga Overhaul fan-translation for that, which is here for that chapter: https://www.trigunoverhaul.com/TVol5Ch06.html and has Meryl saying: "A trans-woman?! (But she has a better figure than I do...)" One is official (comic-licensed), one is fan-translated (but is said to be very accurate, done as dedicated fans rather than people just paid for a task). I am wondering which is more accurate? Specifically, I am wondering if the latter one "cleaned things up" for the sake of modern sensitivities or if it really does carry more of the gist of the original. I mean, I found myself with a bit of confusion at that chapter when skimming Overhall and seeing Legato say "She saved me," when my Dark Horse book has "He saved me" which had led me to believe that Legato had been referring to Knives (Knives chose to spare him, by order) - while "She saved me" (referring to Elendira) completely changes the meaning. Legato *does* have one of his "fanatical" facial expressions there, thus leaving me confused as to whether he is surprised that Elendira the ("he" in DH or "she" in Overhaul) saved him or if it might have been "he" referring to Knives ordering him spared? I am not asking for people to cancel Nightow... (ugh, please don't). I don't even know if pronouns work the same in Japanese as they do in English (I heard that they do not). Having been alive in 2005 and having read the volume back around then (either that or I got it in 2006 or so, anyway, I was alive back then AND old enough to read a very bloody, adult-oriented manga), well, I seem to remember "transvestite" being a more common term then / the basic common before "transgender" "transwoman" and "transman" came into common usage. Not being a part of the trans community, I do not know if it was more "the accepted common term" then or if it was always a slur and I thought it used to be the common term before new terms were created? If my recall is accurate, "transgender" / trans - man/woman was coming into play then and "transvestite" was fading out as it was more often used in a derogatory fashion than as a descriptor. (I honestly do not know very much about the culture of the words, so forgive me if I am getting things wrong).* *There was a similar process that I saw in real time regarding what is now known as the R-word for certain disabilities. I was alive (a child) back in the 1980s when the word was actually a medical descriptor but was ALSO a slur and by about the 1990s other medical terms were used and "R" had become exclusively insulting. - It is one of those things that one must be mindful of when encountering old media. (I watched a Twilight Zone 1985 episode I hunted up having vaguely remembered it from my childhood on Youtube some time ago that treated the condition and a character that had it with sensitivity, but had his parents and medical staff using the term and it felt like a shock / I had to remind myself "that was the term back then"). I'm just left wondering about the bias DH translators might have had back in the day having been jumpscared by that when most of today's manga-readers are obviously reading Overhaul.

[shawnsturns]

SMUT!! IF YOU DON'T LIKE DON'T READ.

I sit on the bed in the guest room across from Shawn's room and his friends rooms down the corridor at 1am, watching TikTok on my phone. I have so much horny shit on my for you page of Shawn right now and not gonna lie it turns me kinda on.

I watch another 10 minutes and have enough of it. There are so many edits. I’m so horny now. I can’t help it. I don’t want to masturbate though I just wanna hear this sounds from a boy right now. And there I am, standing in front of Shawn’s door. I don‘t know why I’m even here. We’re only friends but I never was this horny in my life. I knock on the door, hoping he’s awake. I only here a „yeah?“ and open the door.

He watches up from his phone, into my eyes. He sits on the edge of the bed, phone in his hand and purple LED‘s on. I just stand in the door, looking at him.

„What do you want at 1am?“ he chuckled slightly. I go over to him, so I’m standing right in front of his face. He looks up at me, confused. „What are you-“ „stay still.“ I cut him off and go on my knees unbutton his pants. „doing..“ he ends his sentence after he realises what I’m going to do and slightly spreads his legs for me. Before he could say something, I shove his pants down and his boxers follow. Honestly his dick is bigger than I thought. He’s half-hard now, so I go up to his face, looking him in the eyes. With wide eyes he looks at me, still don’t know why I’m doing this. „I-uhm-“ he doesn’t know what he should say. I go to his neck, sucking on him.

He lets out a quiet gasp, turning me on a little more. I go to his earlobe, licking and sucking on it too. He slightly whimpers at that, cuts it off by clearing his throat. ‚okay, that’s what he likes’ I thought. I give his earlobe one last suck, then going down to his dick again, what is fully hard now.

I give it a small lick, making him gasp louder. Without warning, I take his whole length in my mouth, making him moan. „Fuck y/n..“ i go up again, putting my tongue in his slit. He whimpers and tugs his hand in my hair. I go down again, and he tightens the grip on my hair, making me groan slightly. I give him a few more sucks, hands on his thighs. He is moaning louder now, giving me the hint he’s close. „F-fu-uck, please. You’re so good at this” he tried not to let out a whimper during the sentence. He’s so close now, pre-cum already all over my tongue.

I swallow it, making my throat tighten, and he groans at that. He moves his hips up, trying to put more of him in my mouth even if I already have his whole length in my throat. “Fuck! I’m gonna-“ he cuts himself off. I go off of his dick “you gonna what? Tell me.” He looks down at me. He looks so good in this angle oh god. “I-I can’t.“ he has a red face, embarrassed to say it. I stroke him with my hand slowly, making him throw his head back and whimper. „You’re not gonna cum until you say it.“

„Shit. I- I’m gonna - cum. I’m gonna cum for you.“ he finally says. „good boy.” I tell him before I put my mouth around him again. He moans a little louder that he should at this. His roommates are at home but I think he doesn’t care at all right now. He moaned a few more times, god I can hear this sounds all the time. “mmmhh that feels good..” “I’m gonna cum.. oh my god” he gasps. I go down again, and he shoots his load in my mouth, making me moan because of his taste. Oh, the flavour of him tastes so fucking good. He whines moans and gasps when he comes. I love his sounds. I slowly go off of his dick, making him whine one more time. I stand up and go to his face. Without warning I smash my lips into his. He’s shocked at first but then kisses me back.

I put my tongue in when he slightly opens his mouth. He moans when I put my tongue deeper in his mouth. I moan back, then break the kiss. He then opens his eyes and looks at me a little embarrassed. „Like the taste of you?“ I smirk at him and he nods slightly. „I'm gonna go back to my room, good night“ I say and smile at him. „Goodnight“ he said and smiled back. I go out of his room, back into the guest room. God, how I loved the sounds he made. We’re still friends and I don‘t know what will happen in the morning, if it will be embarrassing, but I don’t care right now. We will see.

this is so bad my apologies honestly i cannot write fanfics

[imabeautifulbutterfly]

The Gym Membership - Part 36 (Crosshair)

Summary: Layla spends time with the girls; while the guys continue their axe throwing.

A/N: Hello Lovelies,

It took me a little long to edit this part, simply because I got caught up watching a movie. LOL. I know shameful.

Anyhew, enjoy.

Love oo

Warnings: Liquor, intoxication (please enjoy responsibly and do not drink and handle weaponry of any kind. These are fictional characters, if they hurt someone, I can just backspace. There's no backspace in real life), axe throwing discussions, drinking, innuendo, discussions of objectifying male bodies (the girls discussing their husbands/boyfriends), discussions of feelings, feelings of guilt. I think that's it, if I miss any warnings, please let me know.

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Rob spun the axe in his hand, before throwing it at the target. This was his and Crosshair’s tenth match; and right now the score was 9:1, mainly because Crosshair felt the guy should’ve at least won one. 

With each loss, Rob was getting more and more agitated while Crosshair kept taunting him, it was childish. Honestly, I was shocked to see these two acting like a couple of children. After a while, I walked over to the girls who were sitting at one of the tables drinking beer, eating some fries and nachos.

I sat beside Mel, popping in one of the fries from the table. I ordered a drink from the waitress, as I glanced around the table, enjoying the fact that everyone here was here for only one reason, to celebrate Avery’s accomplishments. 

“Having fun Layla?” Mel asked as she took a sip of some proper beer, now that she was no longer breastfeeding Violet and Iris was comfortable enough to be with a babysitter that wasn’t family, not to mention it’d been a while since she and Wrecker had a night out. She was trying her best  not to get too drunk, but watching Wrecker’s muscles flex, as he tossed the axe against the target, was making it very difficult not to just let her inhibitions go completely reckless. 

“I was until those two started acting like fools.” I motioned over my shoulder, to the two just in their own world. “Regardless, I’m glad everyone’s here for Avery.”

Mel reached over and rubbed Layla’s back, stroking her hair, “Of course, sweetie. We’ll always turn up for you and for Avery.”

“You know …” Zai motioned her hand, swaying it a little, she was a tiny bit tipsy. “When you get two men interested in the same woman, you’re going to have childish rivalry” she smirked as she popped a fry into her mouth, followed by another shot of tequila. “Am I wrong, ladies?” She directed the question to Mel, Sofie, and Layla; the three simply nodded as they each took a sip of their beer.

“I’m sure you’re wrong. Crosshair has disliked me for a long time, and I’ve certainly given him enough reasons to hate me. I mean we are just now on speaking terms, and … okay, yes things have gotten better. We are talking and texting more, but … that doesn’t necessarily mean … you know … I mean he was married to my sister. You’re way off base.” I clarified, waving my hand aside as I drank down my whiskey in one gulp, too nervous and too mortified my feelings may have seeped through. I motioned to the waitress ordering a refill, I needed another one to calm down my racing heart, the last thing I needed was for them to misunderstand our relationship. Plus, she was clearly drunk, and not thinking clearly. 

“Hmmm. Well, if you’re so sure, then can you explain why he keeps glancing over here to see if you’re paying attention?” Sofie teased as she took a sip of her drink. 

I glanced over my shoulder to see Crosshair’s eyes focused on his target, even from where I sat, I could tell they were penetrating and fully engrossed in his task. His muscles flexed under his shirt as he moved his arms, his biceps bulging from the slight movement. His jaw shifting ever so slightly as he chewed his toothpick, swishing it from one side to the other as he grinned a self-satisfying smirk at Rob. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t pull my eyes away, as I took note of how his long fingers gripped the handle of the axe, how his forefinger and middle finger straightened completely as he released the axe from his hand, and slowly curled into his palm. 

“Seems like something caught your eye, or maybe someone?” Mel chuckled, wiggling her eyebrows, her lips pulling into the warmest and most comforting smile I’d seen in a long time. I don’t know how to explain it, but she felt like family to me already. “Hey, I don’t blame you, Crosshair is a very attractive man, with a heart of gold. However, not that I’m disparaging against Cross, but have you seen my man, Wrecker’s arms?” She turned and was not ashamed to be ogling her husband, as she pointed out her favourite parts, “I mean look at how my man’s arms ripple with every movement. Look at that back, ”

“Easy Mel, don’t want to see you drool.” 

“Shut up, Zai. Like you’re not watching Hunter with eagle eyes, and admiring his own form.” Mel laughed as she glanced over to Zai, her cheeks and ears turning a deep pink, while Zai’s smiling pout and blush adorned her own features.

“I didn’t say I wasn’t. Just saying no one needs to see you drool. Plus,” Zai turned her head to admire her own man, “look how his hair falls perfectly every time he shifts, the way his stance brings out his thick thighs, and his tapered waist …” She couldn’t help chewing her thumbnail as she eyed Hunter up and down. 

“I think Mel’s not the only one who needs a napkin” Sofie giggled as she handed a napkin to each of the girls.

“Well, I’m sure you’re keeping your eye on Echo too, right?” I teased, enjoying how friendly they were amongst themselves. It was enjoyable to find women that didn’t judge me, didn’t make me feel less than I should’ve simply because I was pretty, or because I wasn’t like other women who enjoyed gossiping or trying to meddle.

“Of course, look at the way he moves …” Sofie’s eyes focused fully on Echo, as they shone with pure joy, “He moves with purpose, elegance, and determination; and not just when he’s standing there throwing an axe; when he’s dancing he’s the most graceful dancer I’ve ever seen.” 

“Are we talking vertical or horizontal dancing?” Zai teased, laughing as she took another swig of her beer. 

Sofie hid her face behind her glass, laughing, as Mel and Zai continued to tease her nonstop about Echo, as my eyes fell back over to Crosshair, watching as he and Rob had fallen into  some sort of heated debate. 

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[dynamic-k]

ok i seriously cannot think of a question. AAAAAAA-

ummm... Because I can't think of one for Super Sticks, I am actually going to ask about The Spark AU.

Soo... Chosen has powers. The Spark is a Human AU. Other sticks- wait no humans- have been seen to have powers, like Quarter.

I swear why do I actually like and feel attached to Quarter- something is seriously wrong with me. He appeared for like, what, one chapter, and didn't even say anything?

If The Spark is a Human AU, then why do some humans have powers? Unless it's a human AU with powers. In which case, I'm an idiot.

Besides that, what does resonating actually mean? What is a 'core' and do people from other worlds have it as well? What does it do? You said somewhere that The Spark and a core are not the same thing.

What is The Spark?

Also, reading back on chapter one, what would have happened is Second touched Quarter's cage?

Like- because he's connected to it, would it hurt if he just- I dunno how to say this, but just kind of poked it with his finger?

hmmm... What is Quarter's powers like? Like- what is it actually, and how did he intend to use it in the fight?

Also if he can make solid things i can kind of just imagine him making letters in the air to talk. Oooo- does he know sign language? ASL, or BSL??? Oh I can just imagine him talking excitedly with Hazard from Super Sticks!!! (Before Vic gave him the gene supplements thingies, of course)

CROSSOVER hehe

See you next time, have a lovely day!

-R

Yay!! Spark AU ask!! My first one ever, actually- :O

jaehjawghrkjWJRGHAR *insert feral happy noises*

Disclaimer: I am under the influence of a coffee. Beware of rambles.

First off! I need to clarify things, since Quarter technically does have powers but also doesn't-

Remember this scene in chapter one?

"human modificators"

The Faction is artificially granting their own, different types of synthesized power. It's not efficient, has many drawbacks, and isn't exactly healthy for the Factionist receiving it. Quarter has a sensitive mental connection to his ability, enough that it sent waves of a mental, phantom pain striking through his head like a hammer when Demo was flung into the energy and broke through. Such a sudden break was rather harsh on the Factionist.

If Second would have touched it, he would've been granted a little shock, as Quarter's energy is highly electric. But just a minor bump against the glowing cage lines wouldn't hurt Quarter at all. It was the sudden and unexpected force, not to mention the strength of Chosen's throw that contributed to Demo's speed as he was launched, that really contributed to Quarter's brief mental agony.

I am really, oddly happy for some reason that Quarter stuck out to you! I spent like twenty some minutes making him, and I plan for him to show up later at some point near the end of The Spark, edition one.

....Yes, I may have a sequel planned, shoosh- XD With the big ol' clifferhangery ending, I kinda have to make another fic don't I~?

I hope that answers your question, about why a lot of the Factionists are superpowered despite the tag on the fanfic labeling the AU as a Human AU. Which, is true, because it's an Earth in the story that everyone lives on, and everyone [with some possible exceptions] is a human. But, you know. Modificators. Human experimentation~? :D

Honestly, with how many people have asked a similar question: wondering why there are superpowers present despite the fanfic being labeled as a Human AU... I probably should add another clarifying tag, like the "Alternate Universe - Superpowers" one... XD Oy. I thought my clarity was okay on that front, but apparently not.

Luckily, we have these asks!! :D I am answering the questions, ehehehe

Resonation lore is a big deal in The Spark AU. I'll say what I can for now, it's such a rambly topic for me- XD

As far as "other worlds"... Uh, there is only one relevant to the plot right now. Which is the one that I implied Chosen and his parents came from when Chosen was rather young as stated in-story.

Second was born on Earth, though, as seen in the flashy-flashy-backy-backy~ U v U The poor boy has no clue...

A core is like a store of energy? but not like superpower energy or an energy that can be utilized for running/powering something, more like... How do I say this... More like the heart. A core is not vitally important to whom it belongs to, but it is a big part of who the character with the core is and what kind of potential the character has for certain things that are not human in nature at all~

It will be explained much better later in the plot.

The Spark and a core are very not the same thing, but the Spark is something that can be contained within a core, and only within a certain species that isn't human that Chosen and Second may both happen to be- *is cut off before further explanation*

Quarter's artificial power is sorta... the ability to create electric matter and shape it at will. It's quite formidable, and he utilized it to encase the roof in a large electric energy barrier, glowing cage lines meant to keep the fight from moving off the roof, and to keep Chosen contained with the other Factionsists so he couldn't flee.

Not like it worked- O w O Chosen is a LOT stronger than he looks, and Demo is so huge, it took the trio quite by surprise~

HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?!?! :O I AM IN SHOCK- Yes, Quarter does use his ability to draw words in the air, he loves practicing cursive especially- WHAT THE STICK, YOU GUESSED THAT SO SPOT ON RIGHT-

Quarter does know a fair amount of sign language. Used it mostly before he joined the Faction and ended up receiving his current power. He's very close with Demolition and Kree, and often only communicates with them using looks and facial expressions, of which the other two tend to understand very easily due to how long they spent training together.

The process of receiving a synthetic power is quite painful by the way!! :D And, uh, most of the Factionist incidents/encounters are drawn up to play some sympathy toward the guys. Also because, I like giving everyone a character and personality! U v U Even if it does mean spending a little extra time creating said OC.

Now the Mercenaries are a liiiittle bit different in the sympathetic regard? As in, you can tell they're only following orders, but they do enough harmful things it's difficult at the start to, uh, feel the exact same way about the four of them, than it is to feel about any other misguided Factionist who believes they're in the right. Mercenaries, uh... let's just say I have plans. I say this a lot, don't I- ...we'll get there when we get there, I really can't spoil tooooo much~ >:3

Anyway, Quarter's plan was as I mentioned: Making the cage to box Chosen in, so his two teammates could fight him better. Quarter would have also joined in the fight two, creating energy arrows or projectiles once he was sure that the initial cage lines were stable. It does take him a moment or two to make sure that the energy he is outputting is in place. A detriment, or weakness, I guess.

More crossover ideas!! TS!Quarter and SS!Hazard, oh STICK. They'd be besties, for sure. O w O

Fun fact: TS!Hazard is NOT mute, actually. :3

That's all the TS!merc info you'll be getting out of meeeeeeeee- /total-lie, I-can't-keep-my-mouth-shut

[rustyvanburace]

you know I gotta suggest Navarre for the character ask! and asahi if you’re feeling up to it :^D

Thank you so much!

favorite thing about them: I love how much PIZZAZ he adds to the early game! How can I not like a character with such a flamboyant, demanding personality whose very presence is enough to make everyone react with shock, contempt, laughter, and awe? Navarre is an ass, but a necessary ass to carry the early narrative and add so much excitement to it. I cannot help but giggle to myself everytime he appears. AND THEN, all that character growth in IVA towards becoming a better, more self-aware ghostie. Ohhh I love he so muuuch~

least favorite thing about them: Definitely the unnecessary perversion in IVA. Enough said.

favorite line: The "dawdling Casualries" line will always hold a special place in my heart, but I am also really fond of the stuff he says when you speak with him during the training drills in one of the rest spots,

"O-Oh, it's you… I thought you to be a demon. Don't start me so… I've never carried a blade any heavier than a knife before. If Mother were to see me dashing about with such a weapon in hand, I think that she would faint…"

And

"I landed a critical blow when I accidentally tripped… The next quest was much simpler, since as you might expect, money is no object to me. 'Twas actually easier than the first. But the final challenge all depends on one's strength, and that's a field I'm particularly lacking in… S-Someone else may have first place, I care not whom. Merely let this debacle of a training exercise be done with!"

brOTP: Nanashi and Navarre are best BROS!

Bad edit aside, can't forget the actual bros, Navarre and Gaston lmao. I really enjoyed their sibling relationship and it opened up so much insight into their familial life and personal struggles. I'm so so happy they got to rekindle at the enddd, it was so sweet

OTP: Everyone knows that I am the sole resident of the Issachar x Navarre Crack Ship Kingdom!! Idgaf that they've never canonically met nor even know of each other's existence, the POTENTIAL between them is enough to keep me content and well fed! We support random rarepairs in this house!

I also really like Flynn x Navarre too and they're my second fave Navarre ship, for much the same reasons!

nOTP: Needless to say, my NOtps would be pairing Navarre with his brother or any of the IVA kids. Eeeugh. Enough said.

random headcanon: It's something I've been wanting to analyze in more depth, and IDK how much of this is actually canon or headcanon considering, but I very much fancy the idea of Navarre always having close connections with the Samurai seniors and keeping close tabs on the Rite and new inductions. He's very astute with the going-ons in Samurai business and likely has been anxiously watching them for quite some time.

unpopular opinion: I understand that Navarre is a very unlikeable character, and he's supposed to be! But it honestly does get really bothersome seeing how much dismissal, if not outright hate, he gets in the fandom. Navarre IS an important character within the early game! It is his very antics that adds the necessary tension and tone needed to carry the early narrative and worldbuilding. It does admittedly make it hard for me to approach other SMTIV fans because I like this bean so much.

But that is okay. I am perfectly content with those who seek out, stick by, and enjoy my bean musings. :)

song i associate with them: Tbh I'm pretty bad at that sort of question, lol. I don't really have one for him right now, so pass? (Open to suggestions though! I want more tunes to listen to.)

favorite picture of them: SO MANY panels of him from the Prayers manga FOR REAL. He's SO expressive in that and has TONS of good moments!! But I am especially fond of the mini bonus chapter that features Navarre~

Masataka Miura can agree: Navarre can have a little moment in the spotlight as a treat~

Thank you again so much for the ask! I think I've written quite at length here, lmao. I'm a bit tired now and I don't think I can fit Asahi here, but I could post hers later on!

[bathroomtrapped]

What are the basic differences between saws original script and the outcome? Why did they not play those scenes?

theres a lot of superficial changes, like their ages and adams last name being denlon. honestly still not sure where faulkner-stanheight got confirmed as his last name!

a lot of the things that were cut had to do with adams character and im not entirely sure why it was cut. his reason for being there was because he was suicidal. jigsaw said something along the lines of "everyday youve wanted to die". he wanted to go to vet school and had an interaction with some cat in his apartment. theres a scene where his mother calls, saying his father isnt mad and that he should call them. he writes on a sticky note "call mom" then adds a "?"

he has an interaction with a shitty neighbor, begs god to become a better person

theres probably a few small details about him im forgetting bc its been a while since ive reread the screenplay but the common theme is that the saw movie cut out a MASSIVE amount of context for adams character.

im not entirely sure why, i think some scenes might have to do with cutting down on time (the cat scene would probably get cut for time before filming once they actually start working on the project) vs something that was cut to make the story tighter and change adams role in the story.

he tells lawrence that basically, be hid the photo because he "didnt know what he would do". aka he was scared that itd motivate lawrence to kill him more. not sure why this is cut because some people clearly did not pick up on that lol

basically everything we know about adam is only known to us because it has something to do with lawrence. we know it because lawrence needs to. its unfortunately bc i like adam enough to want to know more but it serves the story better. hes the audience. we know what we know bc adam knows it or learns it. hes the one behind the camera. hes a voyeur. hes literally nothing. he died forgotten by basically everyone and hes just BARELY there in the narrative bc hes just... nothing.

at the end of the day, he was just a pawn. hes not important to anyone but lawrence because this is his story. this is his test and were just the people chained up and forced to watch it play out. i imagine his backstory and personal information was cut for this reason.

during the editing process, there were scenes cut. i know the trap was supposed to be more elaborate originally. i think the cat scene was cut out to save time and the mom scene/motivation/history was cut to firmly center the narrative on lawrence

one change that fucking BAFFLES me is that at the end during the love scene, adam originally asks lawrence "am i going to be okay?". in the film its "are WE going to be okay?" umm im honestly not quite sure what series of thoughts propelled them to make such a gay film by accident, call the end the LOVE SCENE publicly, and then proceed to be shocked when people call them on it? leigh was shocked to see chainshipping fics back during the ff.net days (fun fact: the first ever chainshipping fanfic was published on ffnet called rebirth. its still up)

my best guess is that leigh wanted to push their "relationship" (whatever they think that is) further for more emotional pay off. most of the changes seem to pull their themes tighter. it ends up working in its favor. adam is lawrences test and his moral core or whatever, so they have a pretty instant connection. it was probably done to make lawrence suffer more! or maybe make it gayer and leigh is just doing a bit

theres also the lampshade song lol. some dumb shit leigh made up and cary refused to do, so they changed it to the weird little piggy thing instead. MINOR minor improvement

certain words were changed because cary just kinda... rolled with it. he adjusted the script a few times bc he rly liked lawrence for some reason. he still does. leigh just accepted it and let him do his thing

amanda was also amanda denlon in the screenplay im pretty sure

tapp was dunked on by john as he assassins creed-ed him in the throat for being a 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN! absolutely insane

the way adam finds out lawrence is a doctor is different, he talks about possibly being injected with rohypnol LOL

the heart was actually a clue leading to the word toilet written over his heart, under his shirt. the blood heart wasnt in the script LOL. i imagine cary didnt want to have toilet written on his bare chest for the film? a shame

theres more interactions with tapp, sing, lawrence, and brett (his lawyer) im assuming its what happened before they asked lawrence to sit and watch amandas testimony. they say his fingerprints were found at the scene, not a pen. i think either way its interesting because. wow! lawrences prints are in the system which means he has a record. the implications are kinda funny, it makes how baffled he is that tapp dare accuse him of such a thing! even more ironic. now we know that mark was involved in the police and planted the pen, so he probably just out his prints into the system as well

amanda works at lawrences hospital. not sure why this is cut? possibly bc shawnee was begged to join bc james had a big crush on her and she didnt even want to originally. she might notve wanted to do multiple scenes or something at the time before she decided on returning as amanda (for whatever reason, im not quite sure why she became so attached to the series after not joining as enthusiastically as cary did after watching the 2003 short)

amandas reason is also different. i think jigsaw literally hated depressed ppl so much in the script bc she was there for therapy or something LOL. not drugs. prob just cut to improve it

thats all i got. theres a lot of changes for logics sake related to the trap, wording changes for flow (im assuming), time constraints, and to streamline the themes and center it on lawrence

[beomkaiparadise]

The Foreign Exchange Student (Beomkai)

Beomgyu woke up to the sound of his alarm yelling at him to wake up, He didn't really want to but did anyways. He got up with a sigh and went to school in his friends (Yeonjun) car. They got to school and heard of a foreign exchange student, They were not that exited. They expected this person to be a brat. They went to class together. "There is a new student from America here. I'm not sure exactly where. They will introduce themselves." The teacher said half proud half unsure. "I hope its a hot girl." Beomgyu whispered to Yeonjun with a smirk. Yeonjun nodded desperately. "Okay here he is!" A cute boy walked into the class. "Hello everyone, I'm Kai. I am from Hawaii. I have two sisters. One older, One younger. I am happy to meet you all. Hopefully we get along well!" Kai said passionately. He was dressed neatly in the school uniform. His hair was parted in the middle, It was a bit wavy. The girls were all in awe. But Beomgyu was shocked. "He has sisters." Beomgyu whispered to Yeonjun with a smirk. But he really felt strange seeing Kai. It could be the urge to be friends with him? That's what he will do. Beomgyu smiled. "Kai you may be seated next to Beomgyu. Yeonjun needed to be moved anyways since the two talked so much." The teacher said. "Beomgyu and Yeonjun stand up. Yeonjun move to the front where the empty seat is. And Kai take your seat." She continued. Beomgyu was mad she was moving his friend far away from him. He sat in the middle row of the class. Kai walked over to Beomgyu with a smile on his face. Beomgyu sat down and so did Kai. "What's your full name?" Beomgyu asked in a whisper voice. "Kai Kamal Huening." He responded back in also a whisper. Then Kai faced forward and made a serious face and listened to the teacher and did his work. Kai's serious face sent a tingling feeling down Beomgyu's body. Beomgyu bit his bottom lip staring at the younger boy. The truth was Beomgyu never liked women, he was just afraid to tell his friend Yeonjun, in fear of ruining their 6 year old relationship. Beomgyu had an Idea. Nobody ever turned down Beomgyu. Beomgyu was the most popular guys in school. He could get anyone he wanted. "Hey Kai, Wanna sit with me at lunch later?" Beomgyu asked. "No sorry, I was going to sit with my younger sister." Kai said. "You can bring her with you." Beomgyu said. "Oh, True." Kai said with a chuckle. Damn he was cute. Kai focused on taking notes and working when Beomgyu just kept trying to talk to Kai. Kai would always respond with a smile, Which was kind of annoying. He honestly just wanted to get Kai begging for Beomgyu to kiss him or some shit like that. Beomgyu sighed realizing it would not happen. That made him even more determined. At lunch he gathered with his friends Yeonjun, Soobin, Taehyun, and Kai. Kai being a newer edition. "This is Kai." Beomgyu said. He loved the name. "I'm Kai Kamal Huening." Kai said with a hand reaching out to shake all of the olders hands. They all just stood there for a little before shaking back. Beomgyu smiled. "They'll like you Kai." Beomgyu whispered in Kai's ear. "But not more than I like you." Beomgyu whispered in a seductive tone. Beomgyu then just hit Kai's arm playfully. "I'm kidding, don't make that face." Beomgyu said. Kai stopped looking so shocked and sat down at the table. They talked and laughed. "Kai you are so funny. I thought you'd be nerdy or something." Yeonjun said laughing. Kai smiled happily. "Damn." Beomgyu whispered under his breath. He was mesmerized by Kai's smile to be honest. They went to class after eating. He couldn't wait for the day to be over. He had an Idea to make Kai want him. Nobody should be turning him down. Everyone should want to be with him. He should be able to get whoever, whenever.

Soon the day was over. Beomgyu bid a good bye to all his friends except Soobin and Yeonjun. Beomgyu and Soobin rode in Yeonjun's car home because they all lived in the same neighborhood. It only took 15 minutes to get to school. They turned on their favorite artist BTS on. They listened to Not Today. They all sang while Beomgyu annoyed them from the backseat. This was a normal routine. Then they stopped at Beomgyu's house. "Bye guys!" Beomgyu said cheerfully. He ran in his house to greet his cute bird Toto. Beomgyu lived alone, With Toto of course. Beomgyu ran upstairs to his room and grabbed a crop top and tight black jeans with holes on the thighs. and black high-tops. He wanted to wear that for tomorrow. He would take a shower in the morning to smell nice. He needed to get Kai to like him. He could get anyone but Kai showed zero interest in fucking him. "This is what Kai will get tomorrow." Beomgyu chuckled to himself. Beomgyu looked out the window of his bedroom and saw moving trucks outside. He sighed and went to go brush his teeth. It was 12:00 AM once Beomgyu finished scrolling through TikTok. He decided to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

PART 2 SOON!!!!

[milhoutvanhousen]

Hi! I'm just crossposting from AO3 (I'll leave a link below if you prefer to read there). Left in the original AN just to really hammer in that this fic (read: all my fics) is not edited much lmao. Just a little short guy from ItaSaku week that I have...vague intentions to continue...the next chapter is half written and I am really trying to actively get back into writing so....we'll see no promises k bye!

Hiiii okay so, Bad start to #itasakuweek2023 because I thought today was the 21st and not the 22nd whoops. Fair warning, I doubt I will post any of these on time, lets be real. As for “these”, my thought process was to just write without planning (lol) the first chapter of something for each prompt, rather than a true one shot, and continue whichever one people liked/whichever one I actually like writing and have more ideas for. These are in no way refined, or fleshed out, sooooo you get what you get! I haven’t written in a long time and struggled so hard with past/present/whatever tense, please go easy on me or feel free to beta, I heard it’s so much fun! lmfao okay byeeeee luv u

Sakura had never felt her face drop so quickly. She was sure that if she could see herself, she would probably laugh. Sat in the coffee shop across from the university at this moment, however, she was definitely not laughing.

“Sorry...what?” Her shocked eyes blinked exactly once as the words forced themselves out.

Sasuke’s eyes rolled and she heard him suck at his teeth, she loathed that sound from him in particular. The quiet “tsk” sound could wind her up faster than him and Naruto trying to choose what to have for dinner.

“Sakura what was I supposed to do?” His eyes met her own again, but only for a moment, they drifted off to the side as he continued. “You know I couldn’t turn down the job, my father put in a good word for me and you know how he is. Besides, you know he’s driving me crazy right now and I just need to get some space.” She scrunched her face. Another blink to stop herself from tearing up. Why did she have to feel so many feelings? Didn’t she get to be blind to some of them like the boys were? How unfair

Two more years of medical school left. It was April, and her and Sasuke had been in the process of finding a new place to stay. The three of them had decided that they would rent a house together to get some space from their families before they started at Konoha University. Sasukes parents had been...not necessarily easy going about things, but they hadn’t fought him too much about it in the end. To her surprise, they had been more at ease when they found out that Sakura would be joining and not leaving Sasuke alone with Naruto.

Well, two years had passed and nobody had died, thank god. Naruto however, had announced right after their second Christmas together that this semester would be his last staying in the three bedroom house they rented. He had finally decided to move in with Hinata. Honestly, she didn’t know who was more nervous between the two of them, both friends had their moments of panic with Sakura in private, it made her laugh when she thought about how perfect they were for each other.

And so, she and Sasuke had set out to find a two bedroom as they didn’t want to share with anybody else, but couldn’t afford to stay in the larger rental without a third. They had found a nice apartment a little further away than their current place, but still within walking distance of the Uni, a requirement on Sakura’s end. Until Sasuke had to open his dumb mouth and put a wrench in their plans. How did somebody who talked so little cause so much damage when he chose to open his mouth, where had he been getting the practice?

“Weeell, to be fair this feels pretty spontaneous on my end, you literally never told to me about any of this. You know I understand with your dad but...you also know I cant afford this place on my own, what are we supposed to do, the lease is already signed and move in is only two weeks away! What the hell Sasuke, you’re seriously stressing me out!” And he was. She had finals soon to worry about, and she hadn’t lined up a summer job yet either. Not to mention that Ino wouldnt get off her back about finding a summer romance...get real. She could think of literally ten million things more important . A flick on the forehead snapped her out of her spiral.

“Relax, Itachi will move in.” Ah, he was back to Sasuke Light(TM), full dialogue not included.

“I obviously want more information than that, get real pal.” It was her turn to roll her eyes. He loved to bait her, just to be a dick, she was sure.

“He’s back in town next month from Suna, you know how easy going he is.” She did not. Itachi...she didn’t know too much about him at all to be honest. They had of course met a few times, she had known Sasuke since she was 12, going on almost 10 years now.

While her and Naruto didn’t end up at the Uchiha house super often, they spent a guaranteed four dinners there every year. Sasuke’s birthday (of course) as well as Naruto’s, Mikoto’s (She loved throwing large parties but her birthday was the only event Fugaku allowed her to get a little crazy...so she did), and every year without fail, they also gathered to celebrate the new year. Sakuras birthday was excluded, but only because she preferred to spend it alone and everyone had (finally) accepted that. It took a few years of arguments with the boys and hushed conversations with Mikoto, but everyone caved eventually. Sakura gave a mean puppy dog face.

She shook her head lightly, she was distracting herself again.

“Fine Sasuke, there’s not much I can do about it now I guess. Can you at least pass on my number so we can text and figure some things out?” What she really wanted to know was if he would be replacing their old ratty couch with one of his own, she was dreading buying a new one and she might as well be hopeful about the situation. He smirked, probably thinking the same thing, and gave her a mock salute as he walked away.

“Everything will be fine Sakura, I’ll see you later.” She pouted into her coffee, he didn’t know that. He couldn’t know that. Her phone buzzed.

It’s Itachi. Thanks for indulging my little brother. I know you probably aren’t thrilled about things but I hope we can help each other out in the coming year.

She hummed to herself. Realistically, Itachi wasn’t the worst option. In fact, compared to Sasuke directly, maybe it would be a more relaxed year in the home area, Sasuke definitely had a party boy reputation and often made it his roommates problem. Settling on cheering up, she messaged back.

Thanks for saving me this year, I’m sure having a roommate wasn’t in your plans but I promise all I do is study and have the occasional cry of either frustration or despair, normal med student things really. Do you want to arrange a time to see the place? I get keys in a week and we can move stuff in as early as the week after.

After stuffing her phone in her bag, she slammed back the rest of her coffee and tidied up the dishes she had. No point stressing herself out more than she needed to, she supposed. She wouldn’t have to pay rent alone, and hey, maybe she’d get a new couch out of it.

When she got back to the apartment, she screamed into her pillow for a solid minute. Cheerfully.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

When she woke up way later in the evening than intended after she fell asleep watching tv, it was due to hunger. She groaned as she pulled the blankets over her head, and not quietly. The natural consequence of course, was that Naruto barged into her room, acting as if he had never heard this specific cry before (he had).

“Uhhh....you good in here Sakura?” She responded with a mumble but got up regardless.

“Yeah Naruto, I’m good. Hey, are you here long enough for dinner? I fell asleep and I’m starving.” Before Hinata was in the picture it was always a yes, but the ol’ lug had grown up and actually prioritized things now, it was touching to see.

“Ahh I’m sorry Sakura, I’m just grabbing some stuff and then me and Hinata are going to see a movie, if you want to join I’m sure she wouldn’t mind though!” And she wouldnt, but third wheeling wasn’t in the plans for the night.

“Nah, go on without me, I don’t want to interrupt. I’ll probably go grab some tempura or something quick and then head back here anyway. Say hi to Hina for me though!” He grinned and gave a wave, leaving and walking so loudly to his room. It would have impressed her if she could forget how much it annoyed her first.

After he left she decided to sprawl out on her bed for juuust a few more minutes before committing to getting up and ready to leave the house. While she didn’t have groceries and wasn’t in the mood to go get some, she did have coupons for the tempura place down the street, so that settled things.

She took her sweet time getting out the door and eventually walked to the little stand around 11. End of the semester could be stressful but she had already dealt with pretty much everything that she technically needed to so...why not have a late night out? Dressed in Sasukes old soccer joggers and a tank top she sat down and greeted the owner Daiki, who waved at her and asked if she wanted the regular. She grinned and nodded while passing the coupon over the counter. Nothing made her feel better than food, guaranteed, every time. While she waited she browsed her phone, liking photos on Instagram and generally trying to keep busy so she didn’t feel too awkward sitting by herself.

But soon, the glorious moment came. Daiki set down her favourite food in the whole world. She picked up the shrimp tempura, dunked it in the sauce and got ready to take a (massive) bite. She closed her eyes and -  heard laughter. Laughter right next to her.

Popping an eye open she looked to her right. Lo and behold, there sat Itachi, hand over his mouth as he laughed. At her! And he looked so good doing it . How many times were these damn Uchiha brothers going to leave her speechless today?

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t laugh at you, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen you more happy than at this moment.” She set her food down (sadly) and turned to face him. “Also forgive me for joining you, I hope you don’t mind. I was out and saw you walking here earlier and I thought it would be a nice chance to talk about our living situation. Please don’t let me stop you from your first bite though, I would feel terrible.” Was he...joking with her? She didn’t hate it. With a quick nod, she picked her food back up and got right into her giant bite, not caring that someone else was present to witness it. After chewing and swallowing (maybe faster than she should have) she had a sip of water and cleared her throat while she tried to look classier than she was acting.

“While I didn’t expect to run into you here, I definitely don’t mind. Sasuke said you weren’t coming in to town until next month though?” Sasuke was the worst person for information, and it was hard to beat Naruto. A feat that personally, she wouldn’t be proud of.

“Are you in town now...permanently then? Or is this just a quick stop before you come back to stay? Or, well, sorry I guess I don’t really need to ask your whole life story right now.” More food into the mouth! Solves the problem of talking too much every time. Why was she so nervous? She knew Itachi was less touchy than Sasuke, but she still didn’t want to sour their friendship or whatever this was, before they even moved in together. Moved in together oh my god.

“Don’t worry, that’s not an intrusive question at all. Originally I had planned to leave Suna roughly within the month, but plans changed as they do and I caught a flight this morning, quite last minute. It wasn’t really in my plans, but, well, nothing much has been recently if I’m being honest.” Okay how could she not ask more after that, was he baiting her on purpose? These fucking brothers. He did look....a little...off though. It was hard to say for sure because they really didn’t know each other too well, but, he generally had a calm and in control demeanour about him. Right now however, he seemed the slightest bit rattled, or maybe surprised? It was hard to tell.

“Sasuke was right, you’re very easy to read.” Her mouth dropped open, chopstick mid air (again). He smiled, maybe to soften the blow?

“It’s not been the best couple of months for me.  A lot of...unplanned things have been happening. However, nothing to worry about. Everything will work out in the end, it always does.” He smiled softly and tilted his head and...and Sakura just hoped her blush didn’t look as strong as it felt.

“Well, I’m glad you’re so optimistic, and you can tell Sasuke to shove it, he’s not in my good books right now even though everything ‘worked out in the end’ as both of you, actually, put it.” Sakura made sure to scrunch her nose as she let out her distaste for his brother. Sasuke owed her, even if she liked Itachi and had definitely warmed up to the idea of staying with him the longer they sat together. Itachi and her had met, and even spoken before, but never as casually or as personally as this. He was often very short when at the Uchiha home, their encounters fairly brief for the most part.

“Finish up Sakura, I’ll treat you to some tea and dessert while we talk about the apartment and this coming year together.” Before he finished speaking he had waived Daiki over and paid for what she owed after her coupon, not even looking over to see if she was agreeable. He was so...confident. And a new kind of sexy, one she maybe hadn’t been subscribed to before but definitely was now. Okay this time her blush definitely stained her face, no way he didn’t notice. Did he not know what his voice and that tone...no, he couldn’t know, he was just being nice. As he always had been. Like normal Sakura, get out of your head dummy.

While she finished up her late dinner, she couldn’t stop the thoughts floating around in her head . Yes, she was definitely warming up to the idea of him.

[that-bi-bitch-writes]

My Fav Characters (Haikyuu Extended edition)

Okay so i'm gonna do three teams: nekoma, aoba johsai, and inarizaki

Nekoma:

1)Kenma: look at him. i rest my case. NO he's actually so cute and smart and there's not many other reasons he's literally my little baby and i would love and care for him (but i'm not cleaning up after anybody he has money we can hire someone. i might cook through)

2) Kuroo: I don't think i have to explain this honestly. I don't think of him as some seductive force or "rizz master" as the kids say but he's certainly attractive and i like his passion. also idk i feel like he's a neurodivergent nerd who just happens to be kinda handsome and why would i not like that

3) Kai. Handsome (probably black) man. He's calm and approachable, slightly above average height which is good for me bc i'm short, but he's driven. He's not to be left behind are miscounted. Nekoma definitely needs him on the team. He's sweet and reliable. HE NEEDS MORE LOVE AND I WILL GIVE IT TO HIM. also i like gardening to an extent so having someone who is an arborist in my life allows me to dabble

4) Yaku: He's yaku I mean. one of the best liberos in the game. (why do the best ones not come baaack) love my short king he is literally life to nekoma just like the other three and i love his chaotic energy and defensiveness on and off the court. don't let them make you think he's violent lev be starting with him. also for a volleyball player he has some nice kicks

5)Fukunaga Shohei: When i first saw his eyes i knew i'd love him. his design is literally so cute and friendly and he's one of the most deliberately cat-like and it works for him. I love that he's always making jokes that no one gets or only he laughs at because that is soooo me and i feel like we could parallel play together so well

Aoba Johsai:

1) Hajime Iwaizumi: I'm sure this came as a surprise to absolutely no one. This is the love of my life right here and he's in my top 3 haikyuu men which is a feat of it's own. Never in my life have i loved a character with such little screen time as i love iwaizumi. Just thinking about him telling me to call him hajime?? wow. he's so cool, he's sweet and only mean to his bff yet the love between the two of them is undeniable. he has a huge heart and huge arms that he can put around me. I feel like he'd kinda be a little shy about someone he's dating and have a proud smile but also faint blush. He definitely gets women easily but i feel like he'd turn them down politely(for me! he's saving himself for me)

2) Matsukawa Issei: If you're surprised i mean i get it but i don't. Never let them tell you Issei is an unloved character. If he has 100 fans i'm one of them, if he has 10 fans, i'm one of them if he has 1 fan it's me and if he has no fans I am dead but take me to his mortuary pls so i can see him one last time. He had me a little interested after he scared hinata off that one time but someone else piqued my curiousity a little more and now i read any fanfic of him i can get my hands on and i love my relaxed king.

3) Oikawa Tooru: a master of his craft, charismatic, petty. One of the greatest "villains" of all time (this is a joke based off of what i see on twitter all the time) Oikawa has all his opponents stressed and even his enemies want him on their side. There's no denying his skill or game play. The fact that he could just come in seamlessly to teams "above" his skill level while in high school should prove it to you.

4) Kentaro Kyotani: His design is literally insane and I feel like he's probably not as aggressive as one would think. To me it feels like he bottles up his rage until he can play volleyball which may lead him to do reckless things on the court but he's undeniably skilled and a good guy. This might be me projeting but i feel like he's neurodivergent and he gets a bit overstimulated/understimulated and that's where the anger comes from but he can be shocked out of that state like with yahaba. It was clear he never meant to negatively affect the team he just got swept up

5) Akira Kunimi: To me he's like a mashup of kenma and tsukishima with a bit of his own flavoring in it and i like both of those characters. He's dedicated to volleyball but only while playing volleyball. He's obviously smart/clever and he's just kind of overall adorable and hard to hate. He sticks out to me even though i don't think that's what he's trying to do

Inarizaki: (changing the ranking slightly from earlier)

1) Osamu Miya: He came in the game, he conquered with his twin brother, he served looks, attitude, wasn't the "cool twin" nor the more subdued twin even though he called "less" attention to himself than Atsumu. Most anime twins are either the exact same until you can tell the difference or they're like polar opposites. Osamu looked at that and kinda spit on it. They got their separate hair colors for individuality and then went about their business being too similar to not fight and different enough that there was no jealousy and osamu hung up the volleyball and made his own place in the restaurant industry. That's my baby right there

2) Shinsuke Kita: I was gonna make a volleyball joke but it fell flat. Anyway Kita is always serving looks. If anyone wants to look at a character similar design wisesto that misogynist naoya from jjk here you go. Kita was the responsible upperclassmen/older bro whatever you want to call it but it was organic and natural and despite not being a starter, the way he ran the team proved that he was invaluable and when they showed that to him and he cried? He's such a sweet character and i feel like he has some hidden mischief i'd like to be a part of. also once again sometimes i get the urge to farm or garden so i'm just gonna be like "give me a task shinsuke"

3)Aran Ojiro: I'm rooting for everybody black. Okay anyway look at him. just look and appreciate all you're getting to look at. Okay now look at his timeskip goatee. alright are you back on earth yet? I must have a thing for aces/hitters. We love an emotionally intelligent man who is yet another heart of the team i mean without kita an ojiro where would inarizaki be? He knows his shit, he's one of the top five aces of the country, he's gorgeous and he's sweet. need i say more? Should i?

4)Suna Rintaro: He's so pretty i would be scared to bring my s/o around him (i'm joking why would i be scared to bring him around himself) I feel like we'd vibe and i'd tell him i love his eyes and he'd say he loves mine and then we'd be messy together while somehow making sure to stay out of it. He's smart and analytical and i feel like he could give me a run for my money in terms of noticing and knowing stuff (i'm literally psychic and i love gossip) also i love that he's just slightly scared of kita

5)Astumu Miya: just cause he's at the bottom of this list doesn't mean i don't love him. I would prefer him as a bff or brother in law if i'm being totally honest but his character is way too cool to not make it on a top 5 list. He serves (literally) he has good chemistry with a couple people) he's a bit petty, he's pretty, 100% ND and i think that could explain how his passion is both intriguing and scary. He's 100% misunderstood and mischaracterized but he could be my clingy best friend i just wouldn't let him teach me volleyball bc he'd be mean (accidentally ofc)

[lyricsandstuff2]

"Wanna have rizz"???? "That's us, the glitterati"?????? ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

So this is the new boy band from SM Entertainment named "RIIZE" and the translated lyrics are... Definitely A Choice.

They are actually faithful when it comes to preserving the original meaning of the source text (=the original Korean lyrics), but the plain tone of the Korean lyrics has been drastically changed due to all the slangs and the conversational English the translation used!

The pre-chorus literally translated would be:

Big flows, big flows

(We're) taking big steps

They soft, they soft

I want to be cool

For sure, for sure

We were one

East to the south

To the nort to the west side

We RIIZE

But the caption of the music video has it translated like this:

The meaning of the source text have been pretty well preserved. There ARE changes but they are acceptable because the source text itself is pretty fragmented and allows room for interpretation. Korean as a language is less rigid in terms of grammatical structure, which gives more freedom. Also, these lyrics to a song. It is meant to be fragmented and purposefully written in a way that invites different interpretations. (For example, the song switches between Korean and English all throughout. This could be a way to help the boy band engage with a bigger audience that does not speak Korean, and simultaneously, it helps the song sound "more cool" or "fun" to Korean listeners because it's using English AND Korean.) (Also I don't exactly remember but back when f(x) was still new, someone important from SM Entertainment was interviewed on a magazine and mentioned that the company very carefully considers the acoustic aspects of the lyrics, i.e. how words sound when they are sung. They also mentioned that SM Entertainment goes for softer sounding & easier-to-pronounce words to entice listeners who may not be familiar with Korean. To them, the lyrics were a part of the package - the song, the performance, the visuals, and the sounds. Or at least it was back then. I'd expect them to have developed more ways to entice more listeners by now but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ we're talking about SM Entertainment here. Anything could've happened in the last ten years or so.)

This translation actually reminds me of another song from SM Entertainment: Red Velvet's "Feel My Rhythm"

If this is your first time watching a K-pop music video, you're in for a treat ;)

So the part I wanted to talk about is this:

The literal translation would be:

Turn the ball upside down (Upside down)

Create a little fuss again

This is gonna be a crazy night (To-na-na-na-na-na-night)

From the appearance to the greeting, they will all be shocking

Why don't we play a bit? Honestly? Bae, bae

I'll start from now on

I'll start, feel my vibe and sway

Blow the flower powder

Explode the firecrackers more loudly

Don't lock us up in "Pride and Prejudice"

(We're) Free right now

And the translated lyrics on the official music video says:

See how the original meanings are all there, but they've been edited to make more sense & sound more natural?

The translated lyrics is not identical to the literal translation, but it gets the spirit of the song right and it's easier to understand. This is what good localization is.

My only issue with this translation is the second line - since the subject of the sentence is "we", the "cute chaotic delight" should have been plural as well.

Also love how the "Pride and Prejudice" reference did not get lost, but I would have loved it even more if the title was in double quotes.

Okay it's 1:57 AM (KST) and i'm getting sleepy.

Kpop has come a LONG way from Shinhwa confidently belting out "You're the only one I love so mentally" XD and i'm living for it!

[stuffnonsenseandotherthings]

5 Songs Tag - QL Edition

Credit to @troubled-mind for the idea! Thank you @rocketturtle4 for leaving the prompt open and letting me jump in on this.

📝 Rules:

When you get this, list 5 songs from the Asian QL shows that you actually listen to.

♪♪♪They do not have to be custom-made for the series.

♪♪♪Non-western tracks only. Let's support Asian music and languages!

♪♪♪ Feel free to tag anyone who may be interested participating.

♪♪♪ Add #5qls tag to your post for others to find the new favourites!

1. Romantic Devil - Coldin

Semantic Error may have a very small OST list but it's a pretty darn good one that does its job well. This song caught my ear immediately when I was watching Semantic Error and I've never looked back since. I listen to this song whenever I'm out and about and want to feel a little bit of added confidence by channeling my inner Jae Young.

2. Rock & Star - Fourth Nattawat

I love pretty much all of the MSP OST tracklist but Rock & Star just might be my favourite (by a very small margin though, so many of the songs and covers are amazing, Just Being Friendly could honestly be here, as could Let Me Tell You and ฟัง). It honestly makes me so happy whenever I listen to it, 💯 points and no complaints.

3. Just Friends - Nanon

I won't lie, normally when someone picks up a guitar in a bl it's my queue to press the skip button until they've put it down again because I am completely willing to potentially miss a little bit of plot in order to avoid even a millisecond of second hand embarrassment. Just Friends was the first time my hand paused over the fast forward button and I'm so glad it did, I love this song.

4. What Don't You Stay - Jeff Satur

I have actually never watched KinnPorsche (shock horror gasp) and I don't currently intend to (screams of horror) because I know my own tastes pretty well at this point and I don't think they align. Maybe one day though, who knows. That being said, I have seen interview clips and have enjoyed Jeff and Barcode as a very chaotic friendship/mentor and I am completely willing to admit Jeff has a beautiful voice that I can listen to for hours.

5. Night Flower - Ahn Ye Eun

Okay, I'm cheating a little because this is from a webtoon and not a TV show BUT given part of the point of this tag is to celebrate Non-western artists and music, I think it can be given a pass. Ahn Ye Eun is one of my favourite artists. Full. Stop. I absolutely adore her and her voice and I got so excited when I found out she's writing songs for BL webtoons now, I just really hope we get to hear her in an OST for a (historical) K-QL soon because that would be A TREAT.

Her style is Trad-Fusion and mixes techniques and styles from traditional Korean music with more modern pop elements and I fell in love with it the first time I heard it (and maybe you will too, I definitely recommend checking out her other works if you can).