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THE WAINLOCK GUIDE
Preface
Hello! Welcome to the Wainlock guide! I’m Nikolai Jakobslock, your host and number one scholar in the ways of Borderlands old man bara. Today I will be presenting you with my Knowledge of these two silly peepaws, and how to write them; and trust me, I am qualified to speak on this topic. They do not call me the CEO of Wainlock for nothing.
DISCLAIMER 1: Certain aspects of this, especially the symbols sections, are subjective. Like all fictional characters, these two are ultimately up to interpretation. Here, I am just laying down the way I personally interpret these two, and what I can extrapolate from canon.
DISCLAIMER 2: This text assumes you have played BL3 and BL2, and have at least basic familiarity with these two. I am not going to explain the entire Borderlands lore here. Go watch EruptionFang’s timeline for that, or whatever. I tried to be comprehensive, but even I have my limits.
DISCLAIMER 3: This might be a little bit incoherent because I have ADHD, which means I have a crippling addiction to writing walls of text. Also, English is not my first language. Sorry.
CONTENT WARNINGS: Usual Borderlands fare (gore, animal and human death, guns), alcohol, drugs, mentions of sexual assault, abuse, parental neglect.
Sir Alistair Hammerlock(-Jakobs)
Backstory
Hammerlock is from the planet Hermes. Not much is known, but it apparently has a thin, helium-rich atmosphere, and forests. It is ultimately up to you how you interpret this information, as we haven’t visited the place yet.
It’s unclear when he left home, but what is somewhat clear is that he left early and has no intentions of returning. His family is, or at least styles themselves, like a noble house; getting rich off of questionable ventures (they have what he calls “blood money”) and genuinely being shady as all fuck. Additionally, his father was needlessly harsh (sending him to Pandora as a punishment for swearing in a formal environment), and his mother doesn’t seem to be a good person either, considering how even Aurelia is waiting for her to die.
While he is by no means poor, he seems to live (or have lived, until he literally married into a multi trillion dollar megacorporation) in relative squalor compared to his turbo-mansion owning sister, so it’s safe to say he inherited none of his family’s fortune. (Not to mention how rusty and scrappy his prosthetics look.) He represents the trope of the impoverished blue-blood, as well as someone who defected from what we might consider decadence.
Hammerlock is a hunter, adventurer and gentleman. He is described as such in his very intro cards, and this has echoed through his entire character.
He has been all over the Borderlands, perhaps even all over the Six Galaxies, and seems to have a “this reminds me of…” for every situation. He worked in corporate advertising, he’s seen wonders beyond imagining, he’s written at least one book on the myriad creatures of the galaxy. He’s befriended pretty much every Vault Hunter of note. Both Eista (a fellow hunter) and the lore book admit he has a legendary reputation.
That being said, of course, a life of adventure isn’t so glamorous as it seems. He admits to having a large collection of scars from being shot, bitten and mauled so much, and there’s even a line that implies he was once sexually assaulted. And of course, then there’s Old Slappy.
Personality
Despite the trauma mentioned above, Alistair doesn’t seem to budge from his shiny, chipper demeanor. He’s probably the nicest guy on Pandora, in fact.
He’s honest, kind, doesn’t get angry when the player messes up a sidequest and kindly explains what you need to do.
However, he also doesn’t often show explicit (negative OR positive, though mostly negative) emotion. Rarely does his steely gentleman persona - or perhaps, armor - break. The closest it gets is in either his Parting Words echolog, when he seems on the verge of crying as he says what he thinks is his last “farewell”, or in the ending of Guns, Love and Tentacles, where his voice cracks TWICE as his concern for his beloved reaches its apex.
Also in that ending, he admits he “was so afraid”. This is one of the only 2 times he genuinely admits fear (outside of the immensely gentlemanly and polite expression “I’m afraid I…”), and this is understandable. He’s a fearless adventurer! He’s not afraid of anything!
Except he is. He very much is. He just does not admit it to anyone willy nilly.
In fact, he doesn’t admit much of his emotions in general. He is a stoic, the archetypal gentleman with a stiff upper lip. (This is far more pronounced in BL2 than in BL3: I choose to interpret it as Wainwright helping his beloved open up a little.) But it is a facade, and underneath is a tangled bundle of repressed emotions.
What is NOT a facade, however, is his sheer hope. Regardless of the things he’s seen, he does seem to genuinely believe in the inherent goodness and kindness of people. He was willing to give Aurelia one last chance, even after all she’s done.
Keep in mind to not mistake this for naivety or harmlessness, of course. Alistair is intelligent, and as bloodthirsty as you’d expect a seasoned explorer of the Borderlands to be. In fact, his thrill-seeking tendencies sometimes even teeter on the masochistic. I wouldn’t be surprised if his (human) killcount was in the early triple digits.
His passion for and dedication to his life’s work as a zoologist is equally admirable, and personally reminds me of the way an autistic is passionate for their special interest (because I am autistic). This is a man with a zest for life, and enough energy to power a large city for a week.
Dialogue
Alistair speaks with that typical, quintessential Received Pronunciation accent. His voice is crisp, clear, melodic.
His vocabulary is very sizable. Often will he use complex, sophisticated words, and that often ends up with his lines being overly verbose. Like, really long. I recommend picking up a thesaurus to find the fanciest synonyms you can find.
If he does swear, it’s usually something light like “bloody”, or a verbose/fancy version of a preexisting swear, like “fecal matter!” instead of “shit!”.
Despite him talking like the Victorian English gentleman directly stolen from a steampunk novel that he is, he is not above peppering in the occasional hard swear or funny word. “I’m standing right here, dude.” comes to mind. Also, I just think he should be allowed to say fuck in sufficiently emotionally charged situations.
Speaking of those, we don’t really ever see him having a proper breakdown, but if he would, I think he’d just vomit a tide of half-formed word salad.
Associations, Symbols, Motifs, Etc.
This section is subjective.
Air, weather, wind (something something Hermes is the god of messengers)
Lightning, energy
The Sun
Snow (NOT ice, that’s his sister’s thing)
Nature, fauna (obviously), but also human naturalism; awareness of man as an animal with biological functions or as a persistence predator
Animal death: bones, teeth, fossils, leather-bound books, fur coats, taxidermy
Precision, finesse (it’s weapon based characterization: sniper rifles are his preference after all)
The ideal of a medieval knight: chivalry and nobility but also armor and weapons
Swords, rapiers, knives; scissors, needles, razors
Mechanisms, specifically clockwork (steampunk comes to mind again)
Glass & earthenware in general, especially cracked (scarred)
Travel, motion
Metals: silver, copper, brass and bronze; anything molten, polished or scratched
Light
Sugar, particularly sugary baked goods (biscuits), with the exception of certain savory flavors like meat
What NOT to do
DO NOT give out first name privileges to too many characters.
The only people in the series who ever call Alistair by his first name are his sister and his husband. Everyone else calls him Hammerlock. If someone calls him by his first name, it better fucking be someone important to him, like a long-time close friend.
DO NOT fall into racist cliches holy fuck man.
If I have to see one more work where a character of color is described as having chocolate colored skin I will go insane. There’s, like, a 100000 descriptors you can use and you choose the racist cliche.
DO NOT ignore the fact he’s disabled.
Do some research on phantom pains, how prostheses can be both useful and cumbersome (often the latter).
Wainwright Del Frisco Jakobs(-Hammerlock)
Backstory
Wainwright’s homeworld is Eden-6, which is thankfully a location we can visit in game. In fact, we can even visit his ancestral home, the Jakobs Estate.
As far as we know, he has never been offworld until Alistair sort of dragged him out of his house and into the great beyond. He knows the nooks and crannies of the manor like the back of his own hand, and uses that knowledge to outrun and misdirect Troy, among other things. In a way, he is that place, - explicitly being described as a homebody.
We do not know much about his mother Margaret, but he seems to miss her dearly. His father Montgomery however… well. Ol’ monty was quite neglectful. He refused to spend money to maintain certain parts of the estate, or to ensure his son had a good life. When Winny opened up about not feeling strongly about running the family business, Monty seems to have pinned the blame on his son’s boyfriend, and not on his own shitty parenting.
That being said of course, it’s not like Wainwright didn’t go out of the house at all. ECHO logs describe him as going to bars around the basin, mingling with the “common folks”, things like that. For an heir to a megacorporation, he sure is surprisingly down to earth (in stark contrast with Katagawa Jr., another corpo higher-up we meet in BL3).
Additionally, before the CoV killed everyone, the manor was full of staff and relatives and visitors. It was alive, its own microcosm of the world, and young Wainwright definitely made friends with a great many of them.
Now, they’re all gone, and the manor’s empty and largely unused. Decrepit, even. But he could restore it to glory.
Not to mention the mistakes his corporate predecessors have made are waiting for him there, in his office, to be unfortunately discovered…
Personality
Wainwright is a fairly simple, good ol’ boy. Humble, insecure, even anxious - but also painfully stubborn (that last one is a Jakobs family trait, if a certain line is to be believed).
He is far more open about his emotions, and not just when he’s drunk. Sometimes he curses like a witch, yet joyfully exclaims just how much he’s glad that the Vault Hunter saved his life (thank you David Wald, you really put your whole pussy into this performance).
Speaking of drunkenness, this is a crucial part of him, and not just because he drinks whiskey a lot. At best, he’s a social drinker and at worst he’s drowning his sorrows.
He’s somewhat grumpy, with some of that old man crankiness in him, but also not really. Preferring peace and quiet, he himself is fairly peaceful, but heavens fucking help you if you disturb him. In essence, the guy’s a period piece white suit wearin’ southern gentleman: charming, fine, but also fairly “stiff” or “slow”. Except without the shitty parts (i.e. racism), thank god.
Wainwright is fiercely protective of his own, being prepared to sacrifice anything for them - including himself, even (back to that humbleness and insecurity, but with a selfless bent). He’s also not above using underhanded tactics to get what he wants (back to that stubbornness again) from people he doesn’t trust or like. He’s the Wisdom to Alistair’s Intelligence, if that makes any sense; he can be a little bit clueless sometimes (you’re supposed to run AWAY from the glowing pit cultists are sacrificing people to, not towards it!).
For people he does trust, though - he definitely believes in fairness and kindness. Reliance, civility, honor, all that, are qualities he absolutely has even if he doesn’t think so.
He’s not particularly out for blood unless it’s revenge related or self defense, but this being Borderlands his killcount is absolutely above 0.
Personally, I think he also has a slight epicurean or perhaps even hedonist streak, enjoying and savoring life’s pleasures as they come and go, but understanding that suffering is a painful, inevitable part of life.
Dialogue
Wainwright speaks in a typical southern accent, even though Eden-6 being the Space Louisiana that it is, you’d expect a specifically Cajun accent (and to me, this man is 100% Cajun as fuck). If TvTropes is to be believed, then this is something that happens often, but y’know. His voice is warm, soft, flowin’.
Somehow, his speech strikes a perfect balance between crass and classy. He often uses wacky, flowery country metaphors and idioms, but also perfectly enunciates words like “perforate”, knowing what they mean. His vocabulary is as rich as Alistair’s if not more (reading a ton of books will do that, but also Monty says shit like morose ruminations, so.), he just doesn’t use big words as often.
He also swears much, much more frequently. When he’s drunk, or emotionally riled up, he swears up a storm. Unfortunately he never says the f word because Gearbox was too afraid to give him such power, lest his homosexuality evaporate the CoV in 5 seconds (joke).
Associations, Symbols, Motifs, Etc.
This section is subjective.
Earth, soil, mud
Gunpowder, smoke, ash, oil
The Moon
Gardens (something something Eden is garden of paradise, something something the untended gardens of the Jakobs Estate)
Fire: specifically in the context of the hearth, the fireplace, or guns
Guns and gun parts (obviously)
Wood (including woody smells like sandalwood, pine sap and cedar), paper
Cloth, silk, treated leather. Also sewing
Metals: iron, lead, gold (including in the context of gold = money, riches)
Force, strength (again, think of it as weapon-based characterization: he uses a shotgun)
The comforts of home, stillness
Doors and doorways, curtains, hallways, furniture
Time and its passing: people and alcohol aging, rotting wood, heritage and inheritance
The archetype of a king or heir to the throne
Blood, bandages
Repair, mending and maintenance, whether literal or metaphorical
Salt, with the exception of “old fashioned” sweets like syrup or honey
THE HEART STILL BEATS! THE HEART STILL BLEEDS!
What NOT to do
DO NOT assume he’s uneducated just because he’s got a southern accent.
This guy was born into a rich ass corporate family. He can perfectly say “fatal testicular devastation” without falling over his words. He’s a bookworm on levels heretofore unseen. He probably had an expensive university, or perhaps personally tutored education. This man is wise, just in different situations than Alistair is.
DO NOT type out the accent too much.
But also, DO NOT not type it out at all. Typing out those in’s and an’s can actually assist the reader with imagining his voice, recognize when he speaks, AND it’s canon accurate because the in-game subtitles also do that!
Then how much should you DO type it out? See above: around as much as the in-game subtitles would. I personally like to type it out more strongly when Wainwright is tired, and weakly when he’s pissed, but to each their own.
DO NOT ignore the fact that he’s disabled.
Yes I am saying this again. He’s half blind, and it affects him greatly. And it doesn’t look like it can be replaced with an artificial one - though if it could, I doubt he’d want it at this point.
Also he’s old. He’s probably got them creaky joints.
Putting Them Together
General Feel
They’re in love. They’re so painfully, and deeply, and sweetly in love.
They met on a hunting expedition which Monty arranged (and then it bit him in the ass a little LMAO), and it kinda went from there.
Their relationship is already long-term by BL3, based on trust and communication. They are comfortable with one another, willing to be vulnerable. Opening each other up, seeing both the good and the bad, and accepting all of it.
Their loyalty towards one another is unquestionable. If one ordered the other to kill, the other would most likely not hesitate. Speaking of violence, their fighting styles are directly opposite to one another, but would actually synergize really well together.
Of course, they bicker, like any old married couple does. But it’s all in good fun. If they have genuine disagreements, they talk them out like actual fucking adults, and either try to compromise or concede to the other temporarily. There’s no “power dynamic” bullshit involved here (outside of a sexual context, which is not something I will cover here), just two equals.
They’re very different - and both have their insecurities about this, which are explored in GL&T. But in the end, they love each other just as they are.
While the only things we canonically know they find attractive in one another are their accents and facial hair, I think a major point is the other’s personality, mind, outlook on existence. They both appreciate the world and affirm life, but in different ways: Alistair with his zest and energy, Wainwright with his calmness and slow enjoyment. In my friend’s words, they’re each other’s bitches who they pulled by being autistic. (And they definitely find each other hot and badass, let’s be real here.)
Their relationship has genuinely improved their lives, from what we can see: Wainwright gained the courage to stand up to his father, Alistair started being more expressive with their emotions. Doubtlessly this extends to other areas of their lives: Alistair being provided a place to rest from his adventures, Wainwright being dragged out from his home and experiencing the wonders of the world. They even hyphenated eachother’s surnames.
And, of course, Wainwright definitely uses some of his vast wealth to spoil his husband to bits. It’s what he deserves, really.
They say nobody’s funnier than queers, and they also say nobody’s funnier than disabled people. Well these two are both of those, and they crack jokes a lot! Not like your average Borderlands character, no - their domain is actually somewhat funny (in an old person way) dry one liners and silly quips.
Dynamics and Such
Wainwright as a sort of “dame (or rather, gentleman) of the heart”, a source of strength for Alistair, his meaning, which shelters him from fear. (“Give me strength, Winny. All I do, I do for you.”)
Alistair searching for something all his life, Wainwright waiting for something all his life. Obviously, this something is love.
Mutual admiration, almost worshipful reverence towards one another.
Silly little old men sitting on their silly little porch. Together. Gayly perhaps.
Culture shock. They come from two very different environments, and have very different tastes.
Generally just. Opposites attract. That is the core of their dynamic and one should keep that in mind.
Associations, Symbols, Motifs, Etc.
This section is subjective.
Juxtapositions of any kind, stark contrasts
Eclipses, stars
Things that should be complete opposites but actually strengthen one another: salted caramel, alloys of various metals, etc.
“Light” drugs: coffee, tea, tobacco, alcohol. As well as different ways of enjoying them
Books
Suits and other finery
Disability
GUNS (again)
Nature, the world, seasons, flora AND fauna
Swordfighting, dueling, consensual & safe sparring
Domesticity in general: literally sleeping together, cooking, tidying the house
Burials, graveyards, memory
Hygiene, care; hair washing and cutting, shaving, bathing; wound mending
Old timey homosexual symbols: green carnations and lavender, outdated terms (even reclaimed slurs), aspects of kink, etc.
What NOT to do
DO NOT apply heteronormative dynamics to them.
No, Alistair is not feminine just because he’s nice or bottoms or whatever the fuck else. He’s not feminine at all, actually.
Speaking of which, I promised not to be too sexual here, but I NEED TO TALK ABOUT THIS - the top/bottom dichotomy seen in fandom is unrealistic. In general, but especially in this case. Not only does one’s sexual position indicate nothing about personality - position switching is actually an important part of a long term established relationship. So, avoid that shit like wildfire.
They’re both masculine, in the sense a fine gentleman is. Just because that masculinity is “dated” to our modern eyes doesn’t make it any less masculine. Fuck off.
DO NOT tag them if they’re a 5 second cameo. Or if they don’t even appear in the work yet.
Look, I get it. And if you’re reading this guide, you’re probably not the kind of person that would do that. But also, I am not in the Sir Hammerlock (Borderlands) tag to see your perpetually unfinished rewrite fic. Or to see your random ass ship fic that has jack shit to do with them.
“But what else do I use?!” MINOR OR BACKGROUND CHARACTER(S).
It’s fine if you have their wedding or the estate as the setting somehow. But if that’s the case, I hope they’re a BIT more than a 5 second cameo. They’re the hosts for fucks sake.
Sorry if I sound mad about this. It’s because I am.
Additional Resources
Onelook Thesaurus: my online thesaurus of choice. It also searches for synonyms, phrases, and words you can explain but don’t actually remember.
old men yaoi.zip: A .zip file of EVERY BL3 line of these two’s I could find that is not tied to a main quest, sidequest, or ECHO log in convenient .wav form. Ripped straight from the game. VERY useful, as “idle lines” often contain great trivia, but fishing for them in-game is a pain in the ass.
locres14.txt: The BL3 subtitle file, also directly ripped from the game. Incredibly large and not particularly helpful in of itself, but if you open it in Notepad++ for instance and use the search function you can find some good stuff. Particularly useful for writing dialogue, obviously.
Conclusion
Thank you for reading this! I hope this will help at least one person write these two a little bit better. They’re my favorite characters in the entire series, and it saddens me to see they get barely any fancontent outside of what I make. (My fics constitute 31% of their AO3 tag, for fucks sake!)
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beebeedibapbeediboop · 7 months
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Another The cat returns human version redraw ヽ(=^・ω・^=)丿
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sethdomain · 1 year
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erm
painting test
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kokotwounite · 2 months
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i feel like mordecai/atlas doesn't get enough love! tracy even said in the essentials book that mordecai and mitzi had a "competitive" relationship 👀
tbh we really dont know nothing about atlas so people dont know how to make fics about, let alone his relationship with m0rdecai? maybe we'll get something once S1 (maybe S2... haha?) is rolling
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averagesharkenjoyer29 · 4 months
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//CW//
Big men
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Made some redraws of art i made in last years's pride icon. The left drawings are the redraws while the right drawings are the old ones
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neonjstr · 1 year
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man if Gilligan/Vince commissioned an official Better Call Saul bara oneshot collection from some mangaka they would make so much money mannn
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aparticularbandit · 2 months
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so tsumugi goes to lesbian gay girl's academy, and that just feels so fitting
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beaux
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moonlight-at-dawn · 1 year
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I'm playing p4g for the first time and the name of the bookstore is killing me. It's SAID "yomenai" which would mean "cannot read" and it's WRITTEN 四目内 (4. Eye(s). Inside.)
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hotvintagepoll · 7 months
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Propaganda
Mabel Normand (Mabel at the Wheel, Mabel's Blunder)—One of the best slapstick comedians of the silent era (who you've probably never heard of)! She wrote! She directed, in fact, she was Charlie Chaplin's first director! And of course she acted!
Theda Bara (Cleopatra)—One of cinema's first female sex symbols. Nicknamed "The Vamp" due to her looks. The OG Goth Girl. She would be HUGE on Tumblr if she were around today!
This is round 1 of the bracket. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.
[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]
Mabel Normand:
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can never let mabel normand go by without mentioning mack & mabel, a deeply flawed musical with a beautiful score about her and mack sennett. (find a good cover of 'i won't send roses' and cry a little.) also, according to wikipedia mabel was the first film star to receive a pie thrown in the face!
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Theda Bara:
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She was simply nicknamed "The Vamp". Her sex appeal and typecasting was so intense that people actually thought that she lounged around half-nacked and seduced men left and right in her free time.
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She is one of the most famous and enduring faces in silent film and yet only 6 of her 43 films survived the 1937 Fox Vault Fire! 6! Think about what we could have had!
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She's the original Vamp and first film sex symbol! She said: “The vampire that I play is the vengeance of my sex upon its exploiters. You see, I have the face of a vampire, but the heart of a feministe.” Many of her films were banned or severely cut by state and city censorship boards due to her revealing costumes and suggestive acting. She even sued the Chicago Funkhouser censorship board to let her film Cleopatra be shown in theaters. Riots broke out in theaters during showings of her film Kathleen Mavourneen. In contrast to her film persona, her private life was pretty quiet. She grew up in Cincinnati as Theodosia "Theda" Goodman, the Jewish daughter of immigrants, and had one happy marriage that lasted 30+ years until she died at age 69.
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*Theeee* celluloid blueprint for both goth chicks and sexually-manipulative women--her persona was that of a "vampire", in the sense that would eventually be shortened into "vamp", although in truth she blended both definitions beautifully. Alas, the prints of most of her back-catalogue were lost to a studio fire in 1937, but enough survives to clearly demonstrate the fantasy of enticing danger that she was so kind as to serve us.
my favorite goth icon i want her gender
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kamotecue · 11 months
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the forgotten love ✮ k. cooney-cross
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pairing: kyra cooney-cross x reader
summary: you were her first love—truly unforgettable as people would say. you had met in year 5 as an exchange student from sweden, you were her defender. swedish!reader
⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ⋆✦⋆ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯
ever wonder what it’s like—when you’ve forgotten someone who’s dear to you? for you, it was extreme agony, you had photographs and polaroids of a freckled girl you don’t remember.
whenever you tried to ask, the ones around you would say “she’s just someone you used to know”, or that “she isn’t that important.” but they had lied—she was your entire world, the light that you’re supposed to find in the darkness.
you met her in year 7, an exchange student coming from sweden. you had accidentally bumped into her in the hallways, and that’s how you became friends.
the history between you—wasn’t just friends. you were friends to lovers, and had become strangers again. the freckled girl who you had yet to learn the name of—was the one who got you into football.
she was your midfielder, and you were her defender. however, your thoughts were interrupted as you heard the studs that pitter-pattered on the locker room floor.
it was magda, one of the team’s co-captain. ever since you made your debut for the senior team at 15 years old, she had taken you under her wing.
“du verkar lite distraherad på sistone, n/n. [you seem a little distracted lately, n/n.]” you hummed, knowing that she was right.
“det är bara något som upptar mitt sinne. [there’s just something that occupies my thoughts.]” you confessed as magda gave you a soft nudge, taking the seat beside you.
“det finns alltid, en riktig tänkare du är n/n. men jag vill att du fokuserar på spelet idag. [there always is, quite a thinker you are n/n. but i want you to focus on the game today.]” you gave her a short nod, it was the bronze match after all—the matildas have been a powerful team throughout the tournament.
your coach had clapped, signaling for the starting line up to head to the tunnel, as the game was about to begin. you hummed, slipping on the trainer jacket, this was the first time you’d be starting—as you mostly changed the game as an impact sub.
the tunnel was filled with small chatter from both teams, but you kept silently wanting to not get distracted. you didn’t notice the way australia’s number 23 had looked at you, it was filled with pining, the need to have you in her arms again.
you knew everything was going smoothly, until it was time to shake the hands of the other players. but when you came across the midfielder, your eyes has widened in realization.
she’s the freckled girl in the photos you don’t remember. asllani, the one wearing the captain’s armband had nudged you softly as you were holding up the line.
“focus, little one.” she commented as you gave her a small nod, the game was about to start and you swiftly headed to your position in the back line.
the game started with ease, as a penalty was rewarded in the 27th minute—due to stina going down under the pressure from australia’s polkinghorne.
you watched from your side of the pitch, as frido stood up to take it. zecira had hummed beside you, as you turned to glance at her.
“när kommer du att göra ett fantastiskt kors? [when will you make an amazing cross?]” you gave her a small chuckle as you simply shrugged your shoulders.
“snart, antar jag. [soon, i suppose.]” you commented, and that’s exactly what you did. just before the first half had ended, you had sent a cross to stina who had headed it in, scoring the second goal of the match.
the first half had ended just exactly how the coach had wanted it, but there was this gut feeling that you had—as if something bad was going to happen. frido had jumped on your back, easing your worries as you stumbled a bit.
“onwards.” she joked, as you laughed at her silly behavior. you hummed, wrapping your arms around her legs to support her.
“children.” magda teased, ruffling your hair as you three entered the locker room. the tactics were interesting, as you played with the tumblr that was given to you.
yet what happened next was something you didn’t expect—no one did. as the matildas were eager to equalize the score, you had collided with mary who had went for a header.
as you headed straight to the floor, zecira was quick to get the ball—making australia have no chance at scoring that close goal. you weren’t getting up, no one had noticed you—until after zecira had kicked the ball forward.
her eyes had landed on you, your hands were holding your head—as you had groaned, loudly. she stepped closer to you, while watching ahead.
“n/n?” her voice rang, as you slightly leaked through your fingers to see a blurred face. the ringing of your ears made it harder to distinguish who it was.
“mitt huvud, det gör ont. [my head, it hurts.]” you softly said, as zecira hummed noticing how the referee had blew her whistle seeing you on the ground.
you mumbled in pain hearing the loud whistle, frido and stina were first to come beside you as the swedish medical team made their way towards you.
from afar, you hadn’t notice the way her eyes had gazed to where you were—nor did you realize how katrina gorry had looked at you. she had heard about you from kyra who was like her daughter figure.
“a terrible collision that was.” frido said as she looked at the huge screen, before kneeling down beside you—making sure she was away from the medics space as she didn’t want to interrupt.
“jag tror inte att jag kunde hålla ögonen öppna. [i don’t think i could keep my eyes open.]” you had stuttered, your eyes fluttering now and then. you heard a huge commotion, as you tried to keep your eyes open—but it was bound to happen as your eyes had closed.
zecira noticed kyra coming closer, as she extended her arm to not make her go any closer to you. but stina had spoke in swedish, the goalkeeper just hummed before bringing back her hand.
she took a deep breathe before she saw you—there was a bit of blood above your right eye, as the swedish medic swiftly did his job.
“so, you’re the one y/n had fell for.” frido spoke in english, her swedish accent was evident as kyra looked at her with wide eyes, clearly surprised at this.
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mezmer · 6 months
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The straight woman is unsatisfied with straight studio porn. She wants to get off to something in which the actors actually emote and show passion beyond canned moans from the women and, at best, vacant grunts from the men. She turns to gay porn. She knows it's not "for her," but neither was the straight porn, and at least the actors look like they're enjoying themselves. And for a short while she is satiated by Sean Cody et al, but she runs into the same problems she had to begin with. She was not looking at sex but a simulacrum of sex, trapped in Plato's cave. Unsatisfied, she turned to vintage gay porn, harkening to a time when most gay bars still had darkrooms and reliably smelled of piss and Amyl Nitrite. Here was the real thing, in all its animalistic passion. But she still couldn't immerse herself in the fantasy. She wanted the media to engage with her own imagination and meet her half-way, rather than having it spoonfed to her onscreen. She turned to yaoi, with its elongated figures reminiscent of mannerist portraiture, then bara, including hardcore BDSM scenes. But the tactile sensations depicted in the pages didn't do justice to their real life counterparts. She turned deeper into her own imagination, this time reading erotica. No, not the poolside paperbacks sold at Barnes and Noble. The good shit. Why then, was she still not satisfied? She dug deeper, searching for the true meaning of eroticism. She studied the psychoanalysis of Freud, the cultural criticism of Susan Sontag, the feminist poetry of Audre Lorde. She took vacation time and flew to Europe, starting at the caves of Lascaux to explore the human urge to create, then traversed the Camino de Santiago on foot, along the way meeting a 56 year old carpenter from Burgos named Andrés, with whom she had an explosive affair. They both knew it couldn't last, which made them cherish each other's touch all the more. Upon flying home, she gave up. If her search for true eroticism never bore fruit this whole time, why would it now? It would take years before she stumbled upon the answer by pure happenstance: Progressive metal
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theskeletongames · 9 months
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ngl, I feel like it would be easy to win an argument against fell. all you have to do is tell him he's 28 year old man who watches porn, lmao.
I'm gonna tell you something about the LARGE MAJORITY of 28 year old men... A good chunk of them watch porn or have watched it.
UF Sans is not really singled out in that regard... But! He is one of the few Sans to be interested in porn, so he's weird in comparison to most Sans.
Also, most his porn is in magazine format because the underground is less developed in the internet hosting of that material.
I should also point out that while UF Sans has porn, he' the Sans with anxiety, and so has extreme performance anxiety when it comes to any sexual encounter. The magazines are safe in comparison.
Bara UF Sans doesn't have this problem. His problem is that even when he's trying his best not to not come off as a gross pest, he comes off as a gross pest...
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behnchod, madarchod, baanki maagi,, bokachoda, you fucking hoe, rot in fucking hell, you brother fucker, motherfucker, gaandu, randi, saala, harami, bohot tez samajh ta hai apne aap ko? Bhosdika, bara, saale gaand choos tu apna, kindly f yourself
Tere krishna ne terko gaali dena sikhaya hai!?!! Where are hindu women's SANSKAAR??? Tum aurte khud ko mhan samjhte ho i guess u r bhramin that's why u have superiority complex. WhatsApp university se padhna chod or real world me aa jaa
Let's start with the biggest issue I have with scriptures in Hinduism and the casual misogynistic tone in the marriage department.
Ramacharitmanas 3.4.4 - "A woman who treats her husband with disrespect even though he is old, sick, dull-headed, *wrathful* or *most wretched*, she shall suffer various torments in hell (The abode of Yama)"
Vishnusmriti 24.41 -A damsel whose menses begin to appear (while she is living) at her father's house, before she has been betrothed to a man, has to be considered as a degraded woman: by taking her (without the consent of her kinsmen) a man commits no wrong.
Valmiki Ramayana 2/24/20 - - Ram said \*"As long as a woman is alive, her husband is her god and master to her"\*
Valmiki Ramayana 2/24/25 - "Even if a woman is interested in religious vows and fastings, in addition to being the best of the excellent; if she doesn't obey her husband, she will become ill-fated!!"
Matsya Purana 154.166 - "The husband even if poor, illiterate, and devood of fortune, is like a god to his wife."Mahabharata
Anushasana Parva 146.55 - Husband alone is the God for women
Srimad Bhagwatam 6/18/33-36 - "A husband is the supreme deity for the woman. The Supreme, Lord Vasudeva is situated in everyone's heart and is worshipped through the various names and forms of the demigods by fritive workers. Similarly, a husband represents the Lord as the object of worship for a woman. A wife should be chaste and obey all orders of her husband. She should very devoutly worship her husband as a representative of Vasudeva."
Sage Ashtavakra said:Women can never be their own mistresses. This is the opinion of the Creator himself, viz., that a woman never deserves to be independent. There is not a single woman in the three worlds that deserves to be regarded as the mistress of her own self. The father protects her while she is a maiden. The husband protects her while she is in youth. Sons protect her when she is aged. Women can never be independent as long as they live.
Oh ho! Now you are asking our SANSKAAR!? Ram sikhate hai ki maryada mein rehte kaise hai.
Krishna sikhate hai ki maryada mein rakhte kaise hai.
Listen you motherfucker. I don't need to be educated on this. You dare question our SANSKAAR? WE became like THIS to PROTECT OURSELVES. WE learnt SWEAR WORDS BECAUSE MEN STARTED TO USE THEM FIRST!!!
And women can never be independent, eh? Look around the fucking world will you, ot do you use braille to type?
First you make us like this and now question US? Atleast hum aurate apne aapko mahan sigma male to nhi smjh ti, na? Aurato ko tum log hamesha 'women ☕️' karte rehte ho, unko disrespect karte ho, rapists ko support karte ho, unke saath jo unyay hota hai usko supprt karte ho, and when we stand up for ourselves, us hindu women's SANSKAAR dissappeared!? THIS is the reason why women hate men now.
Tu Insta reels se sab kuchh learn karrna band karr aur apni aakhe charo taraf ghuma, bsdk.
We can be our own mistresses, and we will be our own mistresses. Idc what anyone thinks, i stand with my opinion. Agar teri Maa nahi hoti, to tu bhi janm nhi le pata gadhere.
You know Maa Kaali as well as Maa Adi Para Shakti, right? Did they need a man to fight? Or to protect them? They protected themselves, and fought demons, monsters just to protect their children. Yea ok i agree with the 'devoted to husband' part, but if her dignity comes in question, she WILL fight back!
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skaldish · 5 months
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Till en viss det förstår jag personen som skickade hatet. Det är väldigt udda att se amerikaner... jag vet inte hur jag ska formulera det, men typ, ta en del av våran kultur och sprida den? Nu pratar jag inte bara om asatro, den båten har seglat, men vår folktro, vår historia, sägen, osv. Saker som känns mer hemligt, mer "vårt". Och visst, kultur är till för att delas, men... Det känns bara lite udda. Även om amerikanerna som "snor" har nån random gammal släkting som är härifrån trakterna. Lite "gammelmormor var en indiansk prinsessa" vibes haha 😂
Nu säger jag det här bara för att visa att det finns skandinaver som har liknande syn som den som skickade den tidigare asken, dock så följer vi kanske sig och tycker att din syn på saker kan vara intressant. Dessutom verkar du vara duktig på att leta reda på saker som kanske inte är så vidspridda här heller, även om du kanske ibland feltolkar delar av vår kultur.
Så detta är inget hatbrev, det är ett "jag förstår varför den tidigare personen skrev som den gjorde, och jag vill ge en snällare förklaring". Typ. Om det makes sense.
God dag! 😁
To a certain extent, I understand the person who sent the hate. It's very odd to see Americans… I don't know how to put it, but like, take a part of our culture and spread it? Now I'm not just talking about Ásatrú, that boat has sailed, but our folk beliefs, our history, legends, etc. Things that feel more secret, more "ours". And sure, culture is meant to be shared, but… It just feels a bit odd. Even if the Americans who "steal" have some random old relative who is from around here. A little "great grandmother was a Native American princess" vibes haha 😂 Now I say this just to show that there are Scandinavians who have similar views as the one who sent the previous box, however, we may follow you and find your view of things interesting. Also, you seem to be good at finding out things that may not be so widespread here either, although you may sometimes misinterpret parts of our culture. So this isn't a hate mail, it's a "I understand why the previous person wrote the way they did, and I want to give a kinder explanation". Sort of. If that makes sense. Good day to you! 😁
Nah, I understand completely. And I know the image you're seeing of American Heathenry looks batshit. It looks batshit for me too—but that's because I understand it's a fairy-tale and it's always looked like one to me.
I think that's something important to keep in mind here, though. The Heathenry you see in America is manufactured for us, mostly by American companies, orgs, and snake-oil salesmen for the purpose of their own agendas. Whatever these actors can snag from the Nordic countries that makes their fairy tale look more real, they do.
One of the things this fairy-tale tells us is that "Heathenry died off with the vikings a long time ago, so it's up to us to return to our ancient roots to restore it." Often when I bring up your culture, it's to illustrate that this is bullshit, and that your current culture matters when it comes to how we Americans understand Heathenry. (I'm also trying to compare cultural senses to illustrate the differences.)
But if I'm blatantly getting something wrong or being insensitive about something in this process, you are more than free to tell me.
What I don't appreciate is when people are just angry that I exist and want me to take responsibility for the fact they feel angry about my existence. The fact the other person didn't return to explain what the actual problem I was causing was, tells me they just wanted a punching bag.
I understand getting angry about Americans taking what's "yours" without a care—and I agree it's a problem—but getting angry at Americans doesn't solve this problem. It's certainly won't get the tens of thousands of American Heathens to stop being Heathen. A better approach would be to just help us get better educated about it.
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notapaladin · 5 months
Text
wishes and horses and all the king's men
Lieutenant Malavai Quinn had once been foolish enough to believe in heroes. That was before he was trapped on Balmorra for ten years, where the Resistance undermines his Empire, his superiors are more interested in lining their own pockets than doing their jobs, and any hopes for the future are ground into dust before they can take wing. And then Lord Baras's new apprentice walks into his life.
or, quinn experiences the results of meeting the LS sith warrior (confusion, doubt, renewed sense of hope/purpose, falling at least a little in love, etc)
Also on AO3!
-
“If that’s your best, you’re useless to me. I can shoot you dead with a clear conscience. Is that what you want?”
“N-no, sir, sorry, sir—”
“Then focus, Jillins. Dismissed.”
Lieutenant Malavai Quinn has not been having a good day. Quite frankly, he has not been having a good decade, not since Druckenwell and Broysc and being relegated to this absolute shiteheap of a planet. He would not consider himself a particularly violent man, but this latest—incompetence of Corporal Jillins has pushed him dangerously close to the edge. His fellow officers are already useless at best and actively a hindrance at worse—he’d suspect some of them of treason, except he’s not sure even the Resistance deserves them—and now this? This? On the day Darth Baras’s new apprentice is set to arrive? She will be here any minute, and hardly anything is prepared—he’s going to offend a Sith—
He doesn’t put a hand on his blaster, but he is sorely, sorely tempted. Right, he thinks. Breathe. Ignore the pounding in your temples, the ache in your back that never goes away because the bunks here are apparently made of ferrocrete, the way you can feel yourself shrinking, rotting with each new dawn on this fucking planet. Breathe.
With the effort he’s spending reeling in his temper, he barely registers the approaching footsteps—low-heeled boots, plenty of traction, a light and easy tread. (In the years to come, he will be embarrassed by this.) He does, however, notice the voice. Low, feminine, a little husky—and hesitant, as though its owner thinks he’s going to snap at them, too.
“...I am not sure I particularly want to know what he did.”
He has an audience, and he’s already been rude. He exhales sharply, draws himself up, and turns to face the speaker. He represents the Empire and Lord Baras in all things. He will be professional.
His mind immediately divides into two. The cool, analytical part notes the physical features of the woman standing before him and extrapolates conclusions. Human, roughly 1.6 meters tall, medium-dark brown skin, impractically long white hair put up in a bun that makes it practical again. Scarring on throat and jaw consistent with strangulation, possibly responsible for the roughness in her voice. Twin lightsabers at her hips, ornate gold handguards gleaming. Pale yellow eyes. This, then, must be Baras’s new apprentice. Lady Yaellia, only child of House Ivros, twenty-two years old and recently graduated from the Korriban academy. At her age, he’d thought he’d had the world at his feet too. Of course, she’s probably going to turn out to be right, if she doesn’t turn out dead instead. At least she will have had glory first. It doesn’t matter; she is Sith, and his role is to serve.
The rest of it feels as though it’s been punched, because Lady Yaellia is stunning. He is no blushing virgin; he’s met his fair share of attractive people. (Not many, since Druckenwell. Poor lieutenants are not attractive prospects. Still.) But the red-and-white synthleather suit she’s wearing does not leave very much of her figure to the imagination, even if the only actual exposed skin is her collarbones. She has the muscles of a gymnast and the sort of thighs he is quite certain he could die happily between. Her mouth is almost distractingly full, moreso because she’s clearly forgone the elaborate makeup many Sith favor. There are tiny gold hoops in her ears and eyebrows that glitter as they catch the light, but they aren’t as bright as the eyes now locked on his.
Normally, eye contact would be near-painful—metaphorically if not literally, for among Sith it’s generally taken as a challenge. Normally, he focuses on peoples’ ears or eyebrows or interesting things just over their shoulders. But he holds her gaze for longer than two heartbeats and doesn’t want to look away. He’s as Force-sensitive as a brick, but her lips are parted and there’s a faint flush on her cheeks and he doesn’t need the Force to realize—
To realize it’s been a millisecond too long, and bow deeply before this can get awkward. More awkward. “I—apologize for the delay, my lord. Lieutenant Malavai Quinn. I’m to be your liaison here on Balmorra.”
She smiles. Or at least makes an expression that passes for a smile. “Apprentice Yaellia. It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I hope to leave you in a better mood than that unfortunate young man back there.”
“Well, as long as you don’t piss in his cereal...” mutters the Twi’lek lounging against the doorway.
Malavai’s gaze snaps to her. Lord Baras’s communique had mentioned a slave, but no other identifying details. Looking at this alien, he can’t see any signs of servitude. She is tall and rangy and blue-skinned and notably not wearing a collar, though there are faint scars around her neck where one once lay. Her clothes are serviceable browns and tans with plenty of pockets, but he spots a name brand belonging to a high-end Kaas City sporting goods store. She is also wearing a headband in what he’s always privately thought to be the ugliest shade of chartreuse imaginable. Most importantly, she is carrying two blasters and dares to speak to a Sith as an equal. He grinds his teeth.
Lady Yaellia flushes harder and huffs, “Vette! Unhelpful!” And then she turns back to Malavai, clearing her throat with a faint wince. “Lieutenant Quinn, this...is Vette. My friend. Anything you have to say to me can be passed on to her as well.”
It is a decidedly odd exchange. He pushes it aside to be examined later at his leisure. “Understood, my lord. Lord Baras will brief you personally, but I’m to acquaint you with the climate here on Balmorra first.”
“By all means, go ahead. Ah—one moment—” He’s so unprepared for the sight that it takes him a moment to register the sight of her, not the alien, pulling out a datapad and stylus in clear preparation to take notes before flashing him a quick, encouraging smile that does something very strange to his chest. “I’m waiting.”
He tells her. It is...strange. Certainly not bad, but strange. He’s never had a Sith listen so intently and yet so politely. She asks clarifying questions and once or twice requests that he repeat things “a little more slowly, please, I—ah,” and a vague gesture at her ears that has him wondering if she has hearing problems even as his mind reels at hearing a Sith say please. She is either genuinely enthusiastic about this mission or a very, very good actress. She does not once make eye contact.
And then Lord Baras calls. He is excused. Whatever the details of the Sith’s true mission, it’s not for him to know.
But he stands just on the other side of the door, ears tuned to the sound of her voice—yes, my lord, of course, my lord, as you wish, my lord, meek and deferential as is proper—and his stomach drops as he remembers the briefing he’s read. She’ll be taking out the satellite control tower in the Markaran Plains, a veritable deathtrap of mechanical security. She is Sith, but...she is one woman. He doubts his aid will make a difference in her chances of survival.
Regardless, he must do his duty. He gathers his equipment before he is summoned back into the room, and this time he does not look at her face. She’s almost certainly going to die anyway. “My lord, I've prepared what you need for your assault. In order to destroy the mainframe, you'll mount this charge to the base and activate it. Then contact me for detonation.”
She studies the explosive charge he’s given her. He’d thought it was fairly small, but it takes both hands for her to hold it properly. “If it can be detonated remotely, couldn’t I do it? I’m sure you have more interesting things to do.”
He really doesn’t. More to the point, he’s quick to explain, “It would be safer if you were as far away as possible, my lord. There will be very little time to flee once it is armed.”
She hums thoughtfully, still looking at the charge and not at him. “I am very fast. But you are right. And...um. It is good of you to consider my safety, Lieutenant.”
His face goes hot. “Think nothing of it, my lord. It is my duty. Will you be leaving immediately?”
She shakes her head. “I’ve been requested to liaise with a Lieutenant Davrill regarding another operation. I��ll be around for a short while.” And then she half-turns to go, before pausing to focus her gaze on him. Well, on the Imperial flag behind his desk, but roughly in his direction. “One more question, if you don’t mind. Do you know an intelligence officer by the name of...Breerden?”
“Breerdin,” the Twi’lek corrects.
Yaellia coughs. “Yes. Him.”
He tries to keep his face impassive, but his lip curls anyway. “I have heard of him, my lord. Might I ask why?”
Immediately, he realizes he probably shouldn’t have asked that question. Not when it makes her eyes narrow and her back stiffen as she says crisply—coldly—“He wanted me to hush up the accidental death of a Chiss delegate by an Imperial officer. He offered to pay me to keep quiet about it. I want to know who to file a complaint with.”
For a moment, all he can do is blink at her. Sith do not file complaints. Not when they have lightsabers and the Force to do it for them. And they certainly have never lowered themselves to care about the rampant corruption and flouting of duties that is par for the course here on Balmorra. Particularly not when that corruption could be presented as necessary for Imperial interests—and he has no doubt Breerdin, the swine, did exactly that. “Uh,” he says finally. “That would be Major Bessiker, my lord. But there is no reason to trouble yourself; I can file the necessary datawork for you.”
She shakes her head firmly. “I’ll do it. He will listen to me.”
He won’t listen to you, Malavai hears. It’s the truth, but it still stings. “...Understood, my lord. Will that be all?”
Strangely, there’s color in her cheeks again. “Um. Yes. Thank you. I’ll be in touch.”
Only when she’s well and truly out of his office, with the door shut behind her—and he keeps his gaze firmly on the back of her head while she leaves, thank you very much—does he let himself fall out of parade rest and into his chair. For thirty-two seconds, he sits there and thinks.
This, then, is his lord’s apprentice. What a strange Sith.
&
(Quite unbeknownst to him, that strange Sith steps into the hallway and immediately grabs Vette’s arm, her eyes wide. “Vette.”
Vette raises an eyebrow, lekku curling warily. “Yeah?”
She takes a deep breath and blurts out, all in a rush, “Please, please tell me I sounded normal in there.”
The Twi’lek rolls her eyes. “You sounded fine. Why?”
Seemingly at a loss for words, Yaellia gestures back at Lieutenant Quinn’s closed door and makes a frustrated grumbling noise before finally spitting out, “Do you see him?! He looked at me with—with those eyes, and I forgot how words worked!”
Vette blinks slowly. “I’m sorry, him? The guy who looks like he’s stepped in bantha shit? The stick up that man’s ass probably has a stick up its ass.”
She turns immediately red. “You,” she sniffs, “have absolutely no concept of Imperial decorum. That man epitomizes it. It is extremely attractive.”
“So what’s the problem? You’re Sith. Imps practically worship you people. He’d probably be flattered if you hauled him into a supply closet.”
Yaellia chokes. (A stylus falls off Malavai’s desk.) “I’m fairly sure he prefers women who can—who can make eye contact and string together coherent sentences at the same time!”
Vette winces. Yeah, Yaellia’s always been shit at that in the weeks they’ve known each other. There’s only so much polite averting of gazes you can do before people realize it’s not just politeness. She reaches out and pats her friend/former master’s (for about five minutes) shoulder. “You’ll get your chance.”
Yaellia deflates. “I hope so,” she mutters. “Come on. Let us find Major Bessiker and perhaps a food cart. I am famished.”)
&
Malavai does not hear from Lady Yaellia for the rest of the day. This is fine.
He does, however, hear that II Officer Breerdin has been officially reprimanded and a full investigation into the death of a Chiss delegate on Imperial soil has been launched. It’s enough to lift his spirits, even if only slightly. There are standards to maintain, no matter what II says.
He works. He takes precisely twenty minutes for dinner in the officers’ mess, counting the time it takes him to walk there from his office. There’s no need for him to linger; it’s not as though he has friends to catch up with. Even if he did, what would he say? “I’ve met Lord Baras’s new apprentice,” invites distasteful gossip regarding the particulars, and he will not speculate on his superiors’ personal traits.
He chews on a roast nerf sandwich that not even Kaasian purple curry sauce can save and reflects that it is, after all, quite a long way to the Markaran Plains even in a very fast speeder. She might have only just arrived, and she will undoubtedly be busy. He must be ready to back her up.
The other denizens of the mess hall keep talking amongst themselves—idiot chatter about Huttball scores and relationships and mission gossip—and he’s suddenly sure that if he hears one more unauthorized sound he’ll shoot something. His sandwich isn’t worth finishing.
As he rises to dispose of it, he realizes that Lieutenant Davrill is eyeing him. Pointedly, he turns away.
Too late. Davrill is approaching. “Quinn.”
“Davrill.”
“What have you heard about that new apprentice of Lord Baras’s? You’ve met her, right?”
He stiffens, and now he makes eye contact. “I have, yes. Why?”
Davrill frowns. “Captain Rigel’s set her on Operation Breaking Point, down in Gorinth Canyon. She told us she’s working with you on some mission of her lord’s. I felt it appropriate to consider combining our efforts.”
He doesn’t know the particulars of Operation Breaking Point, but he knows enough. He’s suddenly regretting that sandwich. Baras would not take just any Sith as an apprentice, but the last report he’d received on rebel activity in Gorinth Canyon had used words like army and overwhelming force and too bloody many droids.
On the other hand, if she cannot triumph against overwhelming force, she is no Sith, and Lord Baras will have a new apprentice. One who will not, Emperor willing, cause even a whisper of inappropriate thoughts to cross his mind.
“...I trust she will be in contact with you if your aid is required,” he says, and steps out onto the pavement.
Sobrik is never quiet. As soon as he leaves the building, his ears are assaulted with speeder engines, pedestrians chatting, pedestrians arguing, and the horrible discovery that someone down the block has either been raised by gundarks or has never heard of the existence of headphones because they are very loudly blasting an InstaComm video. But outside doesn’t contain buzzing fluorescent lights or a humming HVAC system, so it’s almost worth it.
He exhales and rolls his shoulders, gazing up at the flat gray of the night sky. He wishes he had a cigarette, never mind that finances had forced him to quit years ago. The cold wind revives him like a slap.
Back to work, then. He has suspected Resistance comms to slice.
&
It is 2000 and he is about to go off-duty for the night when his comm chimes. Lady Yaellia’s frequency, audio-only. He all but lunges for it.
“Yes, my lord?”
She sounds tense. No, distressed. “What’s the comm frequency for a medevac? There’s an injured soldier here, and we don’t have enough kolto to patch him up!”
“I can still fight!” a distant male voice huffs.
“You can not,” she snaps. “You shouldn’t even be standing—I can see bone! I want you off your feet, Lieutenant! Vette, make him sit down!” With a huff, she turns her focus back to Malavai. “Lieutenant Rutau is the only survivor of—what did you say it was? Second Battalion, Besh Company, First Platoon? The droids in here are ruthless. I will be completing his mission for him, but I am not going to leave him here alone and injured.”
There’s a somewhat closer protest of, “My lord, you really don’t have to—”
“Yes, I do,” Yaellia says firmly. “Without good, brave Imperials like you, the Empire is nothing. You are who we fight for.”
Malavai blinks mutely at the wall, heart suddenly pounding. She sounds like—like something out of a storybook. His mother had read him stories when he was very young, before his brother was born; most of them featured heroic Sith, valiant and noble warriors who had been protective of the Imperials under their command, who had valued their lives as more than just blaster fodder. Who had believed in the Empire and everything it stood for, not just their own ambitions. He’d dreamed once of serving under a Sith like that, but as he’d grown older and wiser he’d realized there were no Sith like that. Maybe there were, during the Great War or the Long Flight—in the days of Naga Sadow or Odile Vaiken—but there are none now.
It seems Yaellia of House Ivros hasn’t gotten the memo. She’s still talking to Lieutenant Rutau, reassuring him that help is coming, that the mission will not fail, that he will be safe. That he’s been very brave.
He thinks, suddenly and abruptly, of the now-Lord Venditor, back when he had been Private Venditor under his command. Before Druckenwell, before the man had panicked and thrown a speeder at a Pub with his mind and been shipped off to Korriban. He’d been idealistic too. Kind. He’d spent a great deal of time worrying about his family’s tuk’ata-breeding business on Dromund Fels.
It hadn’t lasted. He’d been younger then than Lady Yaellia is now, but he’d adjusted quickly. Thrived, even. The last time Malavai had seen him, he had been the perfect Sith.
(The perfect modern Sith, not like this figure from the most fanciful myths.)
Slowly, his heart rate calms. She is young. Life has been kind to her. She will learn. Give it five or ten years, especially under Baras’s tutelage, and she’ll be as cruel as the rest of them.
In the meantime, she’s asked him a question, and he quickly pulls up her coordinates. “My lord?”
“Oh—yes?”
“I have your location and am calling in a medical transport from the nearest outpost now. It will arrive within the hour. For future reference, I am sending the medevac frequency to your datapad.”
“Oh, thank you!” Then, while he’s reeling from being thanked by a Sith, she turns to Rutau and says softly, “See? You’ll be fine. Now, do call me when they pick you up, alright? If I come back to nothing but a blood trail I shall worry.”
The Lieutenant mumbles something. Malavai’s not paying attention, because Yaellia’s speaking to him again. “I regret to say we might not get to the satellite control tower until tomorrow morning, but it shall be our first priority. You’ve been a great help so far, and I hope we’re not keeping you from your own rest.”
He swallows. “Ah—no, my lord. There is no need to concern yourself with me.”
She lets out a low hum. “...As you say,” she murmurs. “Well. Um. Good evening, Lieutenant.”
“Ah. Good evening, my lord.”
The call ends.
He stares at the wall for a long time, replaying his mother’s voice in his mind. The memories are thirty years old, but they might as well be yesterday.
“Long, long ago, when tuk’ata had fur...”
He shakes his head. He is overtired. It is time to call it a day.
&
Malavai Quinn’s mornings look like this:
At 0605, he rises. While cursing himself for oversleeping, he trudges to his closet-sized fresher to wash his face and wage the next battle in the never-ending war against his own beard, knowing it’ll be stubble again by the afternoon. If he’s not doing PT that day, this is also when he showers; otherwise, he puts it off until after his workout. Ablutions complete, he dons his uniform quickly and efficiently. Breakfast is tea and toast made on a range older than he is. There’s no commute to worry about; much of the military housing is concentrated near the spaceport. He has no lovers or pets or potted plants, and all his underlings know not to contact him unless the city is actively on fire. By 0700, he is in his office and starting his workday. After ten years, he has his morning routine down to a science.
Except today, at 0630, his work comm chimes. Since he is taking a sip of tea at the time this is nearly fatal, and he has ample time to reflect on how stupid and undignified a death it would have been as he clears his airways.
The comm is still chiming. Wheezing, he picks it up. No holo; he’s just gotten tea down his front and he’ll have to change his shirt before anyone is allowed to see him, no matter what the emergency is.
“Good morning, Lieutenant!”
He blinks slowly, a lapse he will blame on not having finished his tea yet. Lady Yaellia is astonishingly chipper. He wonders if this is the power of the Dark Side fueling her at an hour where the non-gifted are typically consumed with hatred for all life. “Uh. Good morning...? My lord,” he hastily adds.
“Apologies for the early call. I just wanted to tell you that we are setting out towards the satellite control center now, and expect to arrive within—Vette, map? Two hours.”
There is a distant groan within comm range. “You fly, I’m taking a nap...”
Irritation is a wonderful source of energy. Disgraceful. What kind of servant—she’d called the Twi’lek a friend, but surely there can be no friendship worth having with a lowly alien, one with a Republic accent that can peel paint—disrespects a Sith like that? And what kind of master allows it? He takes a deep breath and deliberately sets his anger aside until later, when it can serve him. “I will be ready, my lord.”
She hums happily. “Good. I’ll talk to you later.”
And then she ends the call. Still feeling slightly poleaxed, he downs the rest of his tea in a single swallow and goes to change his shirt. He’ll clearly have a long day ahead of him.
She isn’t the only operative he’s monitoring—he has a small squadron scouting the outskirts of the Balmorran Arms Factory, and another embedded deep in the Windswept Plateau tracking a Republic investigator’s movements—but none of them are Sith. Regardless of her feelings on the matter, she is the most important one. He sips tea from a thermos and watches dots on a half-dozen screens, marking time until he sees the dot that is Lady Yaellia approaching the satellite center. From there, it’s a simple matter to slice the security cams and watch her on holo. As he types in the command, he wonders how far she’ll get.
The holocam buzzes to life. For a moment, there is nothing out of the ordinary. Republic soldiers and Republic droids, both tense. The flickering of a laser fence just offscreen.
And then blaster shots ring out, and as the first droid falls there is a blur, and Lady Yaellia strikes the survivors like a thunderbolt.
Slowly, he sets his tea down. His mouth is dry, but he doesn’t think he can risk looking away. He can’t miss a second of her in motion.
He has seen more skilled Sith in action. He has seen Sith who were more powerful, more brutal. But Yaellia is a fine-tuned mixture of speed and grace, as agile as the best gymnasts. Her brilliant crimson sabers, red as blood, move so fast they leave afterimages when he dares to blink. She parries blaster bolts with ease, dancing around nearly every return blow; when she’s not quite fast enough, she snarls like a beast and he swears he can see the air ripple as she draws on her pain to fuel her strikes. As she advances through the station, Vette lays down cover fire, shooting into melee with the air of a woman who’s used to her partner’s fighting style.
And where they strike, Republic scum falls. Laser-cut metal and severed limbs litter the ground. The air is filled with the silence of the dead. It is glorious.
As Yaellia stops to arm the charges—panting raggedly, her hair falling out of her bun, her eyes sun-bright—he tells himself it is only patriotic fervor he feels. That his only desire in this moment is to be the one in Vette’s place, backing her up. That if he is breathing hard, fists white-knuckled on the edge of his desk, it’s only because of the rollercoaster that is watching her in combat.
And then Lord Baras calls, and he curses out loud before sucking in a breath that scorches his lungs and answering—with only a slight waver in his voice—“My lord?”
“Quinn,” Baras rumbles. “How fares my apprentice?”
He makes himself breathe evenly. “Very well, my lord. She is arming the charges at the satellite control center as we speak.”
“Good, good.” Baras hums thoughtfully, and then orders, “Put her on the line. It is time I gave her her next orders. You will find a holomail with details pertinent to you.”
He nods. “At once, my lord.”
When he calls Yaellia, she answers at the first ring. “Lieutenant?” she pants.
He swallows hard. “My lord, I mark your progress, and see that the charge is armed. I will detonate once you are at a safe distance. But first, I have Darth Baras on holo for you. I will retreat and leave the line secure.”
She huffs out an affirmative noise. He sets his comm down and turns to his holomail, which indeed does contain a short message from Lord Baras. It’s not much: a name, a location. He starts to wonder why in the Emperor’s name Baras is so concerned about an ensign, but decides he’s better off not knowing.
Baras ends the call, and he picks up. It’s still on holo, and he’s glad that the quality and scaling will mean it’s harder for him to give anything away. Not that there is anything for him to give away. Really. His mind is not at all replaying the arch of her back as she spun out of the way of a blaster bolt or the way her teeth bared in a snarl as she whirled to slice a droid in half.
She pushes her hair back from her face and almost smiles at him. Fuck.
He exhales sharply. Best to jump into it. “My lord, Ensign Durmat is being detained in the brig of the Republic crater outpost in Gorinth, awaiting questioning by the investigator Baras has me tracking. I will alert you if she appears to be heading there; I assume you wish to get to Durmat before she does.”
“Emperor willing,” she agrees easily. “What can you tell me about her?”
There is frustratingly little to tell. Wherever the Jedi found this investigator, she’s proof that they are capable of subtlety. “...She appears to be tailing one of the Republic's own—a Commander Rylon. I'm instructed to keep close tabs but stay out of her way.”
She nods, the holo bobbing up and down as she starts trotting back the way she came. “Good. We’ll be heading to the crater outpost now. Do you—do you want to stay on the line?”
“Do I want to—” He blinks at her. “Forgive me, my lord, I’m not sure why you’re asking?”
It’s Vette who answers, leaning into holoview with a smirk. “Boss lady figured you’d wanna watch this place get blown sky-high.”
Yaellia clears her throat. “Yes. That.”
He blinks again, and then feels his lips curve. “It would be my pleasure, my lord.”
So he stays on holo while the women jog back through the station, up an elevator (Yaellia demands, out loud, why nobody has ever heard of guard rails—“a rhetorical question, Lieutenant”), through hallways full of gore and shattered metal, and out into the shattered landscape of the Markaran Plains.
And then he detonates the charges. The eruption of metal and masonry in a ball of flame more than makes up for the assault on his eardrums, and when Yaellia lets out a victory whoop he finds himself grinning. The unused muscles ache.
“That was glorious!” Yaellia whoops, catching Vette in a sideways hug. “Well done, Lieutenant!”
Well done. A hot flush races over his skin, and it is briefly hard to catch his breath. His collar is too tight. Well done.
But there is still a job to do. He tears himself away from the sight of the destruction he’s wreaked and back to his console, where he quickly inserts a remote spike into the Republic crater outpost’s mainframe. It’s almost trivially easy; their backdoors are wide open for a slicer of his caliber. Getting into the actual security is somewhat more time-consuming, but eventually he manages it.
“I've managed to slice the security you'll need to breach the crater outpost,” he says finally. “Transmitting it now.”
Yaellia scrabbles at her belt for her datapad, smiling when she sees it. “Thank you, Lieutenant. Vette, I’m forwarding this to you.”
His part is over for now. He can breathe easily. Well, as easily as he has been so far, watching her. “Good luck on your mission, my lord,” he murmurs, and means it. “I'll be here if you need anything.”
Then, finally, he ends the call.
&
Hours pass like a kidney stone. He regrets having left Lady Yaellia to her own devices almost immediately; it’s a long way to Gorinth from where she is, and the Republic presence there is more heavily entrenched. But she survived whatever she was doing there for Operation Breaking Point, so she’ll probably be fine. He takes advantage of the lull to check in with his teams on the Plateau and the Arms Factory, relieved when they report that they’re following his orders not to engage. He supposes Jillins isn’t completely useless.
He’s about to eat lunch at his desk—a nutrient bar and more tea—when Lady Yaellia calls him again.
“Lieutenant Quinn?”
Even though she can’t see him, he sits up straighter. “Yes, my lord?”
“We’ve arrived at the crater outpost.” A pause. “...Do you...uh. Have a map of the area? It’s a bit...”
Vette interjects, “When they said it was a crater, they’re not kidding. It’s a kriffin’ nightmare down here.”
He clears his throat and pulls up the map he’s generated from sliced floor plans and aerial surveillance. Truthfully, he can understand the request; the crater is a warren of different levels and buildings, densely packed and heavily defended. “...I am forwarding it to your datapad now.”
“Oh, thank you!” Yaellia chirps. “You’re a blessing.”
He inhales so sharply he nearly chokes on his own spit. Bloody hell, why does she keep saying things like that?!
It’s only when he hears blaster fire at the other end of the comm that he realizes Yaellia has forgotten to turn it off. His mind spins. He should hang up. That would be the right thing to do. But he’s meant to be observing her, and she had asked him to be in touch in case she needs him...
He stays on the line. He keeps listening, though he does turn the volume down before the cacophony makes him lose his mind.
He notices immediately when the fighting stops and Yaellia’s footsteps slow, though he has to increase the volume again to catch the sound of two men speaking from what seems to be the next room.
“Pipe down, Durmat. There's something going on outside. I'm trying to listen.”
“Come on, Zixx, throw me a bone. Who's this agent that's comin' to interrogate me? At least answer that, will ya?” There’s a pause. Some muttering he can’t catch.
And then, in tones of anguish, “All right, all right, I ain't proud, I give! My dad's an Imperial agent!”
“Commander Rylon?!”
Ice fills Malavai’s veins. He thought he’d known all of Lord Baras’s assets stationed on this planet. It wouldn’t do to kill one of his allies by mistake, after all. He won’t give Lord Baras any reason to question either his loyalty or his usefulness. Rylon must have slipped in telling his son; surely that’s why Yaellia has been sent after the boy. But the man’s been a thorn in the Empire’s side for years—decades—and he’s never pulled a punch. He must have been a flawless spy.
And now Baras is having his son killed. Rylon will almost certainly be next. That makes no sense, unless this investigator on his tail is close to exposing him...
Or Rylon has outlived his usefulness.
Malavai’s hands go numb. Dimly, he registers a faint squeaking noise, and then realizes he’s shaking so hard that his chair is rattling. It doesn’t feel like a thing that’s happening to him.
No. He is loyal. He has always been loyal. He is no threat. He would die before he betrayed Lord Baras, and Lord Baras knows this.
(It wouldn’t be enough to save him. He knows this, too.)
Rushing footsteps knock him back to reality, back into his own body. He almost misses Yaellia’s pained-sounding “Really?!”
Zixx is gloating. “Take a look, Sith. That’s what two squads of the Republic’s finest look like.”
Yaellia sucks in a noisy breath. “Drop your weapons and stand aside,” she snaps. “Or die.”
Malavai blinks at the screen in front of him. That had sounded disturbingly like she was offering them a choice. A trick, surely. She’s trying to induce them to lower their guard before she strikes. She can’t possibly mean that. He can’t square it with the woman who had fretted—yes, fretted—over the Lieutenant Rutau now recuperating at the Markaran outpost.
It doesn’t work, anyway. The ensuing combat is remarkably short. So much for the Republic’s finest, he thinks with a scoff.
And then the stupid ensign is babbling, pleading for his life. Malavai does his best to ignore it, aided by the priority holomail he’s just gotten from his Plateau squad requesting backup against Pub war droids. By the time he arranges it, the ensign has finished up with, “Uh...I’m not exactly sure where I was goin’ with that. Please don’t kill me!”
You fool, Malavai thinks. She may be uncommonly...considerate of her underlings, but Lady Yaellia is a Sith. She would never dream of sparing Republic scum. And she certainly wouldn’t disobey her Master’s direct order.
And yet she says, “I’m willing to consider alternatives. Is there another solution?”
He’s honestly not sure he’s heard her correctly. But as he listens further, he realizes he has. He finds himself grateful to already be sitting down.
Durmat does, in fact, have a solution. The Republic has developed a memory-altering drug that leaves its victims a blank slate. Evidently, this was not the intended use, and it’s been slated for destruction because the Republic are idiots. He can think of half a dozen things he could use it for without blinking.
“...I’ll overdose and not know nothin’ no more. That way my dad’s secret identity is safe!”
Yaellia is silent for a long moment. Malavai tenses. Any moment, he expects to hear the hum of a saber igniting.
Finally, she replies, “Good idea. Where is it?”
The idiot ensign babbles some more, but Malavai’s barely listening even though he knows he should—a memory-wiping drug of such magnitude could be a great boon to the Empire. This is...insane. Bizarre. Such—mercy, such compassion, for an enemy? For the Republic? He isn’t sure what the tight, bilious feeling in his chest is. He knows hatred and jealousy, they are old bedfellows, but this sickens him. He doesn’t think he’s felt like this since Broysc. His hands hurt, and he realizes he’s been clenching his fists hard enough to leave half-moon indents in his palms.
He comes back to himself when he realizes Yaellia is speaking to Vette.
“The Republic talk about their moral superiority, and they create this? Hypocrites! We should burn this place to the ground and salt the ashes!” There’s a sharp thud, as though she’s punched a wall.
“...I dunno. Shit like this? Could be useful. Or at least, y’know, lucrative. I can think of a few memories I’d rather forget.”
A pause. Then, so quiet he almost doesn’t hear it, “...As can I. Come, let’s bring this back to him. Oh, and a change of trousers.”
He’s getting another call—from the Arms Factory, this time—so he listens with half an ear to the sounds of the two womens’ footsteps and whatever short, asinine conversation they’re having with Ensign Durmat as the drug is administered while the rest of his focus splits between uploading an uncorrupted version of the data spike his team needs and the nauseous fury constricting his throat.
“Who are you?” the ensign asks hesitantly.
Yaellia’s voice goes...strange. Soft. Gentle, he realizes, though his mind is almost numb to the further shock of it. “That doesn’t matter. Who are you?”
Now the ensign sounds nervous. “I don’t—I don’t know. I don’t know who I am. Can...can you tell me?”
Malavai can just make out the creak of synthleather. He wonders if Yaellia has knelt in front of the boy’s cell, hand outstretched to soothe him like a frightened animal. His stomach clenches.
“Don’t let anyone tell you who you are,” she murmurs. “You have to figure that out for yourself. Be brave, and walk in strength and in joy.”
The two women walk away. He’s aware that they’re talking quietly between themselves, but he suddenly can’t bear to listen. It’s all too much.
So he mutes them, knowing the risk he’s taking but figuring he will be contacted if he’s really needed, and just stares into space. His hands are shaking again.
She disobeyed Lord Baras. That is...that is treason. But our lord did not specifically say to kill the boy...and he has been silenced...
And her voice, soft and firm all at once, resolute as a fairytale heroine facing down a wounded krayt dragon. He’s never heard a Sith sound like that. He hadn’t imagined they could. It hurts something deep inside him.
He is jolted out of his reverie by a sharp buzz on his comm and Yaellia’s crisp, “Lieutenant Quinn, are you there?”
He’s tongue-tied for a heartstopping moment, and then forces out, “Affirmative. How can I be of assistance, my lord?”
She lets out an amused huff. “I just wanted to let you know that the mission was a success. Vette and I are on our way back to Sobrik now. Please consider yourself off-duty until then.”
He swallows. “Understood, my lord. I will—I will see you upon your return?” Stars, he sounds pathetic. He shouldn’t have made it a question. Now she’ll know he’s rattled.
She chuckles. It seems she doesn’t, or at least isn’t mentioning it. “Count on it, Lieutenant!”
And then she hangs up, and he isn’t sure what to do with his hands. He is not off-duty; he still has troops to monitor. He should get back to that.
Instead he rises, goes to his desk in the adjacent room—it serves as both a private office for more delicate conversations and a makeshift sleeping chamber on long shifts—and pours himself half a glass of wine from his emergency stash. It’s terrible wine, halfway to vinegar and not in a good way, but it will stop him from trembling through the next six hours of his shift like a tooka that’s heard the cleaning droids. Maybe it will even help him make sense of what he’s heard.
One thing is for sure: Lady Yaellia is nothing like what he’d expected. He’s tempted to write it all down, get it out of his head, but he stops himself. Text files can be incriminating. His own mind will have to do.
Slowly, he lays out the facts. On the one hand, Lady Yaellia is greatly skilled in combat and perfectly willing to slay enemies of the Empire. She displays bravery, honor, and compassion towards Imperial soldiers, all exemplary qualities. On the other, she also extends those same qualities towards members of the Republic, which is quite frankly insane. They hate us, he wants to scream. They wouldn’t hesitate to wipe us from existence, to finish the job Pultimo started. And you let them live?!
He slams his fist on the table. Now he has sore knuckles and an aching heart. Deep breaths help the latter. He closes his eyes, willing himself to focus. To think about this logically. Perhaps it is...he will call it tactically unsound, it doesn’t do to consider a Sith a few currants short of a plum pudding, but the mission was unquestionably a success. Moreover, her actions showed an impressive willingness to think outside the box and adapt to new information. He doesn’t have to like it to understand the reasoning. As for her motive...well, perhaps she was moved to pity. Stranger things have happened. Mostly in folktales, but they have. He vaguely remembers one about a tuk’ata pup with a cactus spine in its paw that seems applicable.
“Be brave, and walk in strength and in joy.”
He sets his empty glass down and returns to his main office. He has work to do, no matter how much Lady Yaellia’s words tug at his mind.
He writes up a report for Lord Baras and doesn’t realize until he’s halfway through the holomail that he has no idea what to say. He cannot lie to Lord Baras, of course. He’ll be found out immediately. And Lady Yaellia has disobeyed their master; he should be made aware of that. It would please him and raise his estimation of Malavai.
But Malavai has seen what happens to Sith who displease their masters. He’s seen plenty of smoking corpses, seen Lord Venditor’s fresh scars. And with a sense of nostalgia bordering on pain he remembers the myth of Lord Umbraline, brought down in her prime by a beloved, treacherous underling for the sake of their own advancement. That underling’s fate makes for a moral lesson to all baby Imperials never to betray their superiors. He doubts Yaellia would weep over his severed head.
So he puts down, The mission was a success. Ensign Durmat has been permanently silenced, and leaves it at that. It’s nothing but the truth.
&
Approximately five hours and forty-five minutes after Lady Yaellia’s last contact with him, he realizes he has been a fool—or at the very least, he’s committed the crime of drawing conclusions with grossly incomplete information. He’ll have to apologize when she returns. Normally, such a thought would tie his stomach in knots, but he rather doubts she’ll react with summary execution.
Still, when she walks in the door six hours and fifteen minutes after her last call, he is glad that the parade rest he slips into hides his faint tremor.
“My lord.” His voice is even. He’s proud of himself for that.
It’s been nearly two days since he’s seen her, and the battles she’s fought have left their mark. There’s a rip in her catsuit at the shoulder, showing the white lining, and her hair shows all the marks of having been hastily scooped into an approximation of her previous bun. Dirt has been ground into the seams of her gloves and the knees of her trousers. She’s taken out her piercings at some point, so there is nothing to distract him from her bright eyes. He barely even notices Vette trailing her.
Especially when she says, “Lieutenant Quinn. I hope you’ve been well?”
He nods. “Yes, my lord. Thank you. Ah. Permission to speak freely?”
She visibly swallows, shifting her weight. Were she not a Sith, he would say she was awkward. “Of course.”
He inhales. “I must be honest. Your success at the satellite listening center and Republic outpost has...surprised me, my lord. I computed the likelihood of success as nearly negligible. In my assessment, however, I only considered the capabilities of a typical Sith.”
He fixes his gaze somewhere around her left ear and continues, “Clearly, you are not a typical Sith. I will adjust future calibrations to account for your...unprecedented abilities.” Creative thinking. Mercy. Compassion. You act like a warrior from legend, my lord, and I wonder where it will take you.
She looks stricken, a dark blush spreading across her cheekbones. And then she grins, an expression of such pure delight he has to look away. “Lieutenant Quinn, you know just what to say!”
“...I’m not too proud to acknowledge when I’m mistaken,” he mutters, feeling his own face burn. He wishes it was just shame at his miscalculation; he is far too old to be blushing like a schoolboy because a pretty girl’s smiled at him, for the Emperor’s sake.
Vette coughs. “So, didja tell Baras all about how awesome we are yet?”
He meets her eyes deliberately. “Lord Baras has been informed, yes. I will alert Lady Yaellia at once when I receive a response.”
More annoyingly, she doesn’t even seem fazed. She actually has the nerve to roll her eyes. “Good to hear it. Hopefully it won’t be ‘till tomorrow, we need our beauty sleep.”
“It won’t be the first time I’ve stayed up all night,” Yaellia says simply.
Vette gives her a very pointed stare. “Ya-ell-i-a.”
She heaves an exaggerated sigh. “Ugh, you’re right. Lieutenant, I’m sorry I cannot stay longer, but someone insists I eat three meals a day and sleep in a real bed, and I wouldn’t want to impose on your personal time.”
“’Sides, we haven’t even seen any of Sobrik yet!” Vette adds, seeming to cheer up as soon as she’s told she won’t need to actually do her job for a while. As she slings an arm around Yaellia’s shoulders, she continues, “C’mon, I heard the Sunken Sarlaac is fun. Maybe we’ll see you there, LT!”
He could have died happily without ever hearing her call him LT. He takes a deep breath, lets it out through his nose, and says firmly, “Thank you, but no. I have work to finish up.”
It’s not a lie. And it certainly has nothing to do with any parts of his mind that may or may not be wondering what Lady Yaellia would look like during a night out—how she might wear her hair, if she prefers dresses or suits, if she would wear ever more elaborate jewelry—never mind that she fixes her gaze on the flag behind him and says briskly, “Of course, Lieutenant Quinn. I’ll leave you to it.”
He doesn’t normally work out at night, but as she leaves he decides he will make time to visit the base’s gym for an hour. The movement and exertion will settle his mind. So will the shower afterwards.
The very cold shower.
&
The next day, he wakes to a sore shoulder and a priority holomail and has very possibly never dressed so quickly in his life. He doesn’t even bother shaving. The hour between when he sees Lord Baras’s reply and when Lady Yaellia steps into his office passes in a blur. It’s slightly cheering to notice that she doesn’t have any of the signs of a woman who’s spent the night partying, unlike her visibly half-asleep companion.
After the initial exchange of pleasantries, he jumps right into it. “Lord Baras is pleased. He says it's time to zero in on your prime directive, and he awaits your contact. My office is yours; the line is secure.”
She nods. “Thank you.”
As she and Vette walk into the next room, he sits down at his console to go over the information he has about their target. There’s a lot to sift through, but much of it just needs to be collated and bulleted. Though he wishes he’d known the plan ahead of time, he’s always been good at making quick decisions. The surveillance and reconnaissance team he’s set on the Jedi’s investigator is highly skilled; thanks to the bugs they’ve placed, there isn’t a move she makes that he isn’t aware of.
Finally, he nods to himself. This will do. Anything else can be adjusted on the fly. Lady Yaellia has proven herself exceptionally skilled at that.
“...summoned Lieutenant Quinn. He’ll prepare you for your final task.”
That’s his cue. As Baras’s holo fades from view, Malavai steps in, fighting the urge to smooth down his hair. “Your final target is the Balmorran Arms Factory, recently captured by resistance forces. An incursion into the Factory will be a monumental feat. I’m excited by the prospect of you laying waste to that place.”
Vette elbows her and Yaellia perks up, face flushed and eyes gleaming. “...Oh, I excite you?”
Belatedly, he realizes his words could potentially be interpreted in a shockingly inappropriate way. If a subordinate spoke like that to him, he’d have them flogged. He all but stumbles over his next words, praying they spare him further humiliation. “W-well, what I meant was...when I imagine all the ways you will shape the galaxy, it is—very exciting, yes.”
Is it his imagination, or does she look disappointed? But there’s still that smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. “You’re all red, though.”
Red? He probably looks like a prize Kaasian tomato. “Your question was—a bit surprising, my lord. I assure you that my mind is on the task at hand.”
Her eyebrows go up. “Was it? Surprising, I mean. Here I thought you wouldn’t let anything cross you by surprise.”
“Very few things do,” he mutters. “You...seem to have a knack for it.” That’s putting it mildly. He feels better about the shock of yesterday for having slept on it, but he’s always hated the unexpected. It so rarely works out for him.
She blushes again, dropping her gaze. He’s never before been tempted to call a Sith cute. Once again, professionalism will save him. He clears his throat and asks, “May I continue to brief you on the Balmorran Arms Factory, my lord?”
”Please,” she mutters.
He continues the briefing. Again, she takes notes. But when he gets to his description of Rylon’s personal guard, she comments, “You sound like you admire them.”
There’s no judgment in her tone or in her eyes, but there doesn’t need to be. He feels ill. “Only their tactical exploits, my lord. It will be a bright day on Balmorra when they are eliminated.”
That, apparently, is that. As she nods and goes to put her datapad away, he clears his throat. “One final thing, my lord. The investigator the Jedi sent has been concentrating her activity in the area. I have her under minute-by-minute surveillance and will contact you at once if she becomes a problem.”
She smiles at him. “Sounds like a plan. Thank you, Lieutenant.”
She keeps thanking him, just for doing his duty. His gut is a hot, squirming thing. “No need to thank me, my lord. I will be here to salute you when the Balmorran Arms Factory is a smoking husk.”
“I know you will.” She turns to go, only to immediately arrest her movement and ask, “Lieutenant?”
Vette groans. Both of them ignore her. “Yes, my lord?”
She glances back at him and reaches up to fiddle with her earrings. She’s put her gold hoops back in. “I do apologize for my curiosity, but I couldn’t help but notice...that is...you have a great deal of Sith opera recordings in here. Do you have a favorite?”
The question is so unexpected that he can’t bite back an honest reply. “I think you might have done as well to ask me if I’ve a favorite limb, but I’ve always been partial to Shkai’ven Shasôt—”
Yaellia lets out a little gasp and whirls to stare at him, eyes wide. “I’ve seen that! The 400th anniversary run, at the Grand Kaas Opera House—Taral’s aria, I don’t think there was a dry eye—” She’s gesturing as she talks, presumably the cause of several datapads sliding around on his desk.
Emperor preserve him. She likes opera. In a flash of insight, he realizes why her words from the previous day had been so familiar; they’re a direct translation from the famous Soldiers’ Chorus in the second act. His parade rest has become a medical necessity, because otherwise he’d have to find a chair. “I could not be in the city for the 400th anniversary,”—he’d been here, cursing his life—“but I was fortunate enough to witness Janrit Haskerl’s first performance as countertenor for that role, and even then I can assure you there was not.” The memory brings an old pang with it; he’d been so young. His father had been alive and on leave, and not even his baby brother kicking the back of his seat had dimmed the wonder of watching the curtain go up.
She’s gazing at him with open fascination. “That must have been incredible! I can’t imagine it—you must tell me everything. Oh, but what did you think of Tev Ralon’s early years; I thought their voice has improved with age, but you know what recordings are like, it’s just not the same.”
He can’t remember the last time anyone’s asked for his opinion on any personal interests. He can’t remember the last time anyone suggested he might have personal interests. It takes him a moment to find words. “I—must agree, my lord. At first, I judged them to be rather weak and reedy, not powerful or commanding enough to sing Lord Tanari’s part with the gravitas it deserves, but I find myself glad that they were given the chance to grow into it. I suppose you never can tell.”
“Exactly!” Stars, she’s so animated it hurts to look at her. The datapads hitting the floor are a problem for later. “I haven’t been able to go to the opera since before I was sent to Korriban; I’m dying to see how it’s changed. I hear they’ve recently finished some lovely new renovations for better acoustics—and gotten rid of those dreadful jade green curtains, what were they thinking—and they’ve shuffled the stage crew around so more of them will be able to handle the Force effects. Their new conductor is no Van Chkristi, but he comes highly recommended from the Ziosti Gardens. You should go there next time you have leave!”
His ears burn. He doesn’t get that much leave, and even if he did his pay won’t stretch to the cost of a ticket anymore. Not if he also wants to buy groceries that week. But she’s so enthusiastic, so happy, he decides not to say any of that. “I will certainly consider it, my lord.”
Vette clears her throat. “Boss, maybe you wanna let him consider it while we get moving? It’s a long way to this outpost we gotta be at.”
Malavai could strangle her.
Even more so when Yaellia deflates and mutters, “Ah. Yes. Thank you for reminding me.” She shoots him a hopeful glance. “We must make time to continue this discussion later.”
Later. How long has it been since he’s had something to look forward to? The thought makes an unfamiliar bubbly feeling rise in his chest.
“It would be my pleasure,” he says, and means it with all his heart.
(Opera. He supposes that goes some way towards explaining her idealism, but somehow he cannot fault her. When he was young, he’d been inspired even by the tragedies.)
&
The data spike he’s had planted in the Jedi investigator’s comm network is showing increased activity. Frowning, he traces it. Near the Arms Factory, and getting closer. Should he warn Lady Yaellia? No, he thinks after a moment. She’ll be at the Sundari Outpost by now, and he doesn’t want to distract her. He’s been informed there’s a new Darth in residence.
As if summoned by the mere thought of her, his comm chimes. “Lieutenant Quinn?”
He isn’t sure he likes the wary tone in Yaellia’s voice. “Yes, my lord?”
“Have you ever heard of a Darth Lachris? The—the new planetary governor.”
He’s not surprised the old one is dead—the man was never competent—but there’s a twist in his gut at the way she says it. It must have been extremely recent. “I have, my lord. She studied under Darth Marr and is a veteran of the sacking of Coruscant.”
There’s nothing but the low rumble of a speeder engine; she must be in the air. “I see,” she says eventually.
“Might I inquire as to why you’re asking?”
There’s a definite intake of breath. “Oh, I’ve just...met her, that’s all. I was curious. She wants me to—to take down Grand Marshall Jacketta—”
“—Cheketta!” Vette calls.
“—You know my auditory processing is utter pants, Vette!—so killing Commander Rylon might take a trifle longer than expected.”
He nearly suggests texting or holomail if that would be easier for her, but bites his tongue. If she hasn’t requested accommodations, it’s hardly his place. “I have every faith you will succeed, my lord.”
She lets out a sharp huff. “You honor me. I’ll be in touch.”
“I await your word, my lord.”
She hangs up first. He turns his focus to the incoming calls from his away teams, grinding his teeth. No, they are not to engage unless discovered, no matter how tempting it is. Their goal is stealth. He is relieved to find that at least they’re tracking the targets he’s sent them after. The Jedi investigator has a codename—Sunshrike—but it doesn’t match to any encrypted strings in his database. The spike they’ve uploaded is picking up her increasingly irritated comments regarding an incursion into the Arms Factory. Lady Yaellia, he thinks, and exhales. He digs deeper, hunting for more information. His tea thermos goes colder and emptier.
Where are you? Who are you?
He’s starting to develop a headache by midafternoon—he’s worked straight through lunch—but having a puzzle to unravel at least keeps his mind off of honorable Sith with a passion for opera and an unusual sense of mercy. He welcomes it. The security systems of the Arms Factory itself prove frustrating to break into, but when he finally taps into Sunshrike’s personal network he is rewarded with quiet breaths and the echos of her typing, interspersed with the occasional Republic-accented, “Damn.”
He smirks to himself. Victory.
And then Yaellia calls him, her voice shaking. “Quinn?”
His heart seizes. He doesn’t want to know what could unsettle a Sith. But he must remain calm, for her sake. “Yes, my lord?”
She gulps. “We have very—very explicit confirmation of Republic involvement. I just fought a Jedi. And where there’s one, there will likely be more.”
A Jedi. He exhales sharply, wondering if they had fought in the last war. If they’d borne his father’s blood on their hands. “I suspected as much. Your confirmation is appreciated, my lord.” He almost asks if she’s well, but he’s afraid of what he might do if she says no.
“Right,” she says, and takes a deep breath. “Right. We will continue our assault, then, and contact you when the factory falls.”
There’s a click as she hangs up. He returns to Sunshrike, digging through her personal files. It takes a while, and he’s only peripherally aware of the news crackling in from the Arms Factory as he works. Republic ships are being violently decommissioned. The Resistance is in disarray. Something about a swarm of Colicoids. The Resistance Grand Marshall is dead—no, he’s only in custody. The man’s publicly denouncing the Republic and they didn’t even have to torture him first. The Balmorran “governor,” Vol Argen, is definitely dead.
At any other time, he’d celebrate. A name. Give me a name.
He doesn’t get a name. As the sun lowers outside his office he gets a tinny burst of secondhand static, and then the sound of a man speaking. Sunshrike whispers, “Finally,” to herself.
“What do we know of the enemy?” the man says, and then snaps, “I can see that, Captain. Shut up. Sith, I know why you're here. Be aware that these are the finest troops I've commanded in all my decades of duty.”
Indistinct speech. The man snorts. “My men and I would be disappointed if you did. Captain Eligyn, engage at will and hold the line. I'm coming with reinforcements. Rylon out.”
Malavai makes himself breathe evenly. After everything he’s seen Lady Yaellia do, she’ll be fine. More importantly, Sunshrike is moving. He fires off a call to his nearest squad leader. “Target is en route. Do not lose her.”
There’s a chorus of affirmatives, but he barely registers them. Sunshrike has live audio on what is almost certainly Yaellia’s confrontation with the Republic forces, and for long minutes all he can hear is the hum of sabers and the crack of blaster fire. It grows steadily louder, suggesting Rylon really is coming—alone. There is only the one set of footsteps. When the fighting dies down and the man snaps, “Enough of this. Just put him out of his misery, Sith,” Malavai tenses.
“Confess to him first,” Yaellia says flatly. “He deserves the truth.”
Shit. The worst part of it is, he’s not even surprised. Disappointed, yes—this is quite frankly the worst time her bizarre storybook-heroine tendencies could have come to the fore—but after what he’s seen of her so far he was practically expecting it. More importantly, the investigator’s position is converging on his troops. Almost there...almost...
A blaster shot rings out, and Commander Rylon sighs heavily. “It's unfortunate they were on the wrong side. They were excellent soldiers, and exceptional men. It was difficult betraying them—you can't bleed with a man and not form a bond—yet with their defeat, the Empire's cause is advanced.”
“You should have recruited them,” Yaellia says coldly.
“...I followed Baras's orders to the letter,” he mutters. “Recruitment was never my purpose here. I served for the glory of the Empire.” With a sigh, he continues, “But the life of a spy is a slippery one. In essence, I had to become a Republic soldier, and I've done things against the Empire that have sickened me.”
Yaellia takes a slow breath. “For the greater good.”
“Lieutenant!” Jillins on holo, frantic. His voice comes slightly doubled from the tap he’s put on Sunshrike. “She’s here—she has a lightsaber—”
“Delay her,” he growls.
“But she’s—she’s a Jedi—”
He could punch the man. If they weren’t separated by hundreds of kilometers, he might. Some of his rage must show on his face, because the man flinches. “Did I stutter, Jillins? You don’t need to kill her, but she must not be allowed to reach her allies!”
There’s already blaster fire in the background. Jillins whirls to return fire, barely stammering out an, “Of course, sir—” before dropping the call.
Not that it matters. He isolates that channel from the tap and amplifies the one on Rylon. He almost regrets it, because Rylon’s not dead yet.
At least his voice sounds labored. Agonized. Malavai can only hope his death is swift; he deserves that, at least. “Tell Lord Baras...it has been my great honor to serve him.”
He can’t hear Yaellia’s response, but he suspects he knows what it is. The hum of her saber is confirmation enough.
He should call her. Warn her.
But it will have to wait, because he has soldiers to direct. He hopes they remain competent under duress; their orders are very simple, but he’s learned not to underestimate the depths of their stupidity. He curses every second of comm latency as he watches the Jedi’s location draw closer.
It takes nearly half an hour before he can send a holocall to Lady Yaellia. She is bloodstained and beautiful even in the middle of some nondescript factory hallway, but he can think about that later. “My lord, we've got trouble. I heard your entire conversation with Commander Rylon.”
She draws back, frowning down at him. A lock of hair falls in her face. “Have you been spying on me, Lieutenant?”
His face burns. “No, my lord!” Not intentionally, at any rate. “As I told you, I've been surveilling the Jedi investigator—”
“...Oh,” she mutters, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Never mind, then. What’s the matter?”
He takes a breath. “She bugged Rylon's quarters. She knows everything, my lord.”
“Well, fuck,” Vette comments. He hates that he agrees.
Yaellia falls silent, staring at him. Her eyebrows knit together as she lets out a very quiet, heartfelt, “Bugger.” At a normal volume, she continues, “And now so do you. You’re in grave danger, Lieutenant.”
It doesn’t sound like a threat. It sounds like concern. He lets out a breath. “Yes, but I pose no risk to Lord Baras. If she gets away, she'll expose everything. She was heading to her ship, but I had my men cut her off from the Republic landing bay.” He’s just gotten the report that they were successful, with only one casualty. Not Jillins, sadly. “I am systematically blocking her avenues of transmission and escape, herding that Republic scum to her only hope—the spaceport at Sobrik.”
“Sobrik?!” she demands. “That’s ours! How does she think she’s going to survive?”
“My men report that she's wielding a lightsaber, my lord. It is very likely that she is a Jedi Knight.”
If the comm wasn’t floating in midair, Yaellia would have dropped it. She jerks, eyes wide. “No.”
“Yes. Unless you stop her, she's more than capable of fighting her way through the spaceport and commandeering a ship. I'll be able to delay the Jedi long enough for you to engage, but—”
“Don’t you dare,” she snaps.
He blinks at her. “My lord?”
“Don’t even think about putting yourself in the way of that Jedi! She’ll kill you, Lieutenant. I can’t—I refuse to let that happen. Put roadblocks, keep the civilians out of the way, do not make direct contact. We have to protect the people of Sobrik!”
He swallows, recognizing the emotion coursing through him as shame. A storybook warrior. She is what Sith should be. “...I...see your point, my lord. I will gather my remaining men and meet you at the spaceport.”
She exhales. “Yes. Do that. And don’t worry, Lieutenant. I’ll be there as soon as I can. You have my word.”
&
It is one thing to simply put a military base on high alert for approaching hostiles. That is easy. Turning that military base into a trap for a lone Jedi while also ensuring that the civilian population is safe, and that no actual Imperial soldiers are put in harm’s way? Somewhat more difficult. The roadblocks are simple, but having the base put under lockdown requires him to stand in front of Major Pirell and play the recording of his men under attack before the order finally goes out, and by then he’s lost hours.
The only saving grace is that he’s successfully delayed the Jedi. He has time.
During a brief lull in the chaos, his comm buzzes. Outgoing transmission, reads the spike still active on the Jedi’s comm. He doesn’t hesitate before rerouting it to his own and hitting “play.”
The Jedi turns out to be a human woman, her hood half-hiding her face. Through the layer of digital noise left over from decryption, he makes out, “This is Jedi Knight Mashallon. Nomen Karr’s Padawan was correct. We have traitors in our ranks.”
He’s never even heard of Nomen Karr; individual Jedi tend to blend together in a sort of sanctimonious brown-beige haze. But if they’re a Jedi of any importance, there will be a dossier. He spends a few minutes searching until one comes up, frowning as he skims through the Jedi master’s long career. A career, he notices, that seems particularly focused on opposing Lord Baras. This could be a problem.
“Uh. Sir?”
He takes a deep breath before addressing Jillins, who’s appeared by his side on top of his lookout post when he wasn’t looking. “Report. And it had better be important.”
Jillins gulps, staring somewhere past him. “You said to alert you when Lady Yaellia or—or that Jedi gets here, and um. The Jedi’s been spotted.”
“Good. You have your orders.” He sends a quick text to confirm—yes, the barricades have been placed and the civilians are off the streets with guards stationed at regular intervals. Yaellia will be pleased.
Jillins nods stiffly. “R-right.”
They stare through their binoculars into the darkening street as the lights come on, both straining for the sight of a glowing lightsaber. Malavai squints, trying to figure out if that flicker in the far distance is a faulty streetlight. When his comm doesn’t flash with mission updates, he decides it probably is.
Jillins mutters, “I hope Lady Yaellia catches up soon. She’s amazing.”
“Have you met her, or are you drawing yet another conclusion based on secondhand information?”
Jillins flushes and stares at his feet. “Well, I haven’t met her, sir, but—she wiped out an entire rebel base by herself! And took down that Grand Marshall! That’s—that’s pretty amazing, right...?”
There’s a steady light in the distance. He raises his binoculars and spots flowing robes and a lit saber. Jedi. “You aren’t wrong,” he mutters. Stars, he’s agreeing with the boy. His life really has changed.
They wait. Mashallon’s been divested of her speeder at some point, so she creeps from shadow to shadow on foot. It’s eerie. Where any normal person in a similar situation would startle at every movement, she only glances disinterestedly when rustlings in dumpsters turn out to be rakkons. Can Jedi see through stealth generators? Sense his troops somehow? If he gives into the temptation to pull the trigger, will they all be slaughtered in an instant?
Next to him, Jillins is practically vibrating. He hisses, “Hold, Corporal.” He won’t risk it.
Mashallon crosses the empty square unimpeded. She steps into the spaceport, where she’ll find a maze of barricades and droids to slow her down. Long minutes drag by.
His datapad lets him know he has a text. Without looking, he hits the button that translates it to speech and sends it directly into his earpiece.
The electronic voice reads: “From: vette ([email protected]). To: [email protected]. Subject: We’re here, exclamation point. Text body: N/A. End message.”
He wonders why his team hasn’t informed him, but quickly realizes it’s something of a moot point. Yaellia Ivros is barreling down the street and through the square on a speeder that looks like it’s been the victim of a direct orbital strike, Vette hanging on for dear life behind her. With his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he can barely make them out in the afterimages left by the rear lights. The rest of his soldiers have probably been similarly blinded.
He shakes his head to clear it and lifts his comm. “All hands, move out.”
Keeping a slow, measured pace is not the hardest thing he has ever done in his life, but it certainly deserves a spot on the list. Though they obviously won’t overtake Yaellia at the speed she’s moving, they can’t afford to be too late. As skilled as she is, she graduated Korriban a month ago and this is a fully-fledged Jedi Knight. She might need backup. Every instinct screams at him to run.
He walks.
&
The spaceport, when he reaches it, bears every hallmark of a Jedi passing through in a hurry. His team has to step, scramble, and sometimes climb over droid parts. Heavy barricades have been chopped in half. One of the locked hangar elevators has been sliced.
As he steps out of the elevator with a handful of his best men, he knows he’s precisely on time.
The Jedi’s hood has fallen back and there’s a blaster wound in her shoulder, but she’s holding her own against Yaellia’s swift strikes. Vette is crouched behind a speeder deploying a kolto spray drone, patching up Yaellia’s wounds even as they’re inflicted. As he watches, Yaellia surges forward, twists, and sends the Jedi’s blade skittering out of her hand and across the floor.
“Yield,” she growls, setting one saber at the Jedi’s throat.
Mashallon closes her eyes. “Your victory means nothing,” she murmurs. “The damage has been done. The proof has been transmitted. So, deal the deathblow, Sith. I am at peace knowing that the greater good has been served.”
In this moment, Malavai loves his job. “I hate to burst your bubble, Jedi.” He doesn’t even bother trying to stop his slow, cruel smirk. “No, that’s a lie. I’m reveling in it.”
Yaellia turns to stare at him over her shoulder, and the Jedi gasps. He could laugh. “I intercepted your transmission. You’ve been monitored and screened this entire time. The Jedi know nothing.”
Yaellia’s mouth drops open. For a split-second she just blinks at him—and then she gasps, “Lieutenant Quinn, I could kiss you!”
She doesn’t mean it. Face burning, he averts his eyes and mutters, “I was only doing my job, my lord.”
Mashallon takes a final breath, her gaze sweeping the assembled Imperials defiantly. “Gloat all you like, it means nothing. I remain at peace. And you will still fail.”
Yaellia turns back to her, her voice even. Pleasant. As though she’s asking about the weather. “The name of Nomen Karr’s padawan, if you please.”
Mashallon’s eyes narrow. “No.”
She sighs, shaking her head. “...I want you to remember I asked politely.” The saber burns a thin line in the skin of the Jedi’s neck.
The Jedi doesn’t even flinch. Her empty hands flex and then relax, her shoulders settling. “Unlike you, the Force and the Jedi way give me a sense of something larger than myself. I am resigned. Strike me down, I offer no further resistance.”
Yaellia draws in a slow breath, chest heaving. Malavai knows that the next sight he’ll see will be the Jedi’s head rolling on the floor.
And then, impossibly, she lowers her saber. “No,” she says coolly. “It would be a waste.”
What. None of Malavai’s men move. Malavai himself isn’t sure he can move. His legs have enough to do just keeping him upright. If the Republic are their enemies, the Jedi are...the Jedi are nightmares. The Great War was a thousand years ago, but none of them have forgotten the burning of libraries, the wholesale bombing of their greatest cities, the slaughter of millions. Had it not been for the element of surprise, they surely would have repeated their atrocities in the last war. Lady Yaellia would have been a child when the Treaty of Coruscant was signed, but he’s seen her files. He knows she took top marks in Sith history. She knows what the Jedi have done, what they will do again if given the chance. And yet she lets this one live?
It makes no sense. He can barely breathe.
Absurdly, he remembers a libretto he once discovered on the HoloNet. It had purported to be the text of an opera banned for centuries for un-Imperial sentiment. The central couple, and conflict, had been about a Sith sparing a Jedi’s life and the Jedi spending years trying to “bring them to the Light” in exchange. Though they’d fallen in love, it had ended in tragedy when the Sith killed them rather than lose what made them who they were, only to launch into a stirring final aria wherein they vowed to join the Jedi in memory of their lost lover. He’d given the address to the censors later, of course, but it had stuck with him. The last time he’d checked, the website had still been up.
He steps forward, resolute. “...I will take her into custody, my lord.” Surrounding the Jedi and wrapping Force-suppressant cuffs around her wrists is a simple matter, one he can do on autopilot. He’s glad for it, because while his hands and mouth move he doesn’t have to think about what he’s doing. “Your lightsaber, if you will, Jedi. Men, escort her to her new home in the main prison.”
“And treat her well,” Yaellia adds firmly, extinuishing her sabers. “Torture is notoriously unreliable, and I am under the impression that the Imperial armed forces is made of sentients, not beasts.”
Vette snorts. “Good luck with that,” she mutters.
The Jedi is marched away. Malavai remains behind. His men have this in hand, and he cannot leave until he has answers. Until he understands. When he draws close to Yaellia, she smells like smoke. He follows her gaze to his troops and murmurs, “I am sure you know what you’re doing, my lord. But sparing the Jedi is...” Insane. “A curious choice.”
She stiffens. He braces himself—has she sensed how much he’s truly questioning her? But her sabers remain unlit, and oxygen still moves through his lungs. When she turns to him, her eyes are hard as gold. He knows he’s being unfathomably rude, but he can’t tear his gaze away.
Her chin lifts. She’s challenging him as well. “The Jedi think we are monsters, Lieutenant Quinn. I refuse to prove them right.”
He almost argues. Of course the Sith are monsters. The Sith are their monsters. Carnage is her birthright, slaughter her crown. Her very creed promises strength and victory. What does she care if a Jedi judges her for knowing passion—for knowing life? For protecting her people with everything she has? But there’s a faint tremor in her shoulders, and he remembers the way she’d soothed Lieutenant Rutau and that Republic ensign alike. The way she’d granted Rylon an honorable death.
He remembers stories.
“I see,” he mutters, and looks away.
&
“...It's not my place, Lord Baras. I leave that for your apprentice to convey.”
It’s nearly midnight. Putting the city to rights and cleaning up the spaceport to an even semi-usable state had taken hours. He’s pretty sure the slaves and droids are still working on it. The Jedi has been placed in the most secure wing they could find. The guards had asked him when to schedule the inquisitor; he’d swallowed his gorge, been reminded of the Imperial armed forces is made of sentients, not beasts and told them it could wait a while. That he’s still upright and talking to Baras—who had demanded a report immediately—is solely due to his decades of military experience.
Yaellia’s near-emotionless voice from the doorway saves him. “I am here, master.”
She looks half dead on her feet; most likely the adrenaline crash. Vette follows her like a second shadow, positioned in such a way as to unobtrusively offer physical support.
As they enter, he stands a little straighter. She shoots him a quick glance, squares her shoulders, and does the same before bowing to Baras as deeply as she probably can without falling over.
“Nice of you to join us,” Baras snorts. “Quinn refuses to update me, insisting the privilege be yours. I assume the Jedi investigator has been stopped?”
She stares straight past him. “...She is no longer a concern, master.”
Baras grumbles, “I had hoped to avoid confronting her, but our hand was forced. What matters most is that Rylon can no longer be exposed.”
That’s right, Malavai thinks. And it’s all because of her. You have a rare find in your apprentice, my lord. And then, traitorously, You had better appreciate her.
“And how would you assess Lieutenant Quinn’s contribution?”
His parade rest is suddenly a statue’s pose. His hands clench into fists behind his back. He doesn’t know what he’ll do if she dismisses him. He doesn’t know what he’ll do if she doesn’t.
But the question seems to have the same effect on Lady Yaellia as an intravenous line of pure caffeine straight to the heart, because she jolts a little on her feet and blurts out, “Lieutenant Quinn? He’s an exceptional officer! Really, the best support I could’ve hoped for. I couldn't have done it without him! If you ask me, master, he is wasted in a place like Balmorra.”
His heart skips a beat. Baras tilts his head, studying him from behind his mask. “High praise indeed,” he says finally. “Quinn, I believe you have sufficiently repaid the debt owed to me. I'm putting you up for a captaincy and transmitting an executive order allowing you to station wherever you choose. You are dismissed.”
He can feel his mouth moving and knows words must be coming out, knows he’s thanking Lord Baras and expressing his sincere gratitude. His mind is a thousand light-years away. A captaincy. Freedom. I’ll never need to step foot on this blasted rock again. I could go anywhere—could make a real difference for the Empire—I could go home—
Lady Yaellia is looking at him. Heart hammering in his chest, he bows to her. “My lord, before I depart, it's been my extreme honor to serve you.” Swallowing hard, he adds, “You are...you are the epitome of everything the Empire stands for.”
It’s not a lie. It’s not even an exaggeration. Honor. Strength. Order. As odd as some of her decisions have been, she displays every Imperial virtue. More than that, she inspires other people to follow her example—or at the very least, she should. He can’t imagine the sort of person who would purposely disappoint her when she holds even her own actions to such high standards.
And she flushes dark at his words. He can’t bear it. “The honor has been mine.” She pauses, and a tired smile breaks across her face. “Captain Quinn. I shall miss you.”
“Maybe our paths will cross once more, my lord,” he murmurs. He can’t look at her face anymore.
As he leaves, Vette turns to call over her shoulder, “We’ll probably be off this rock by tomorrow afternoon!”
So there’s a time limit. And then she will be gone, and he’ll probably never see her again. The thought is a knife to his heart.
He walks home, the wind ruffling his hair and stinging his nose. He doesn’t smell smoke anymore. When he reaches his street, the whole building is dark and quiet, and his apartment feels like a tomb. He stands in the doorway and thinks that he should be overjoyed at this unexpected good fortune. He should be celebrating. At the very least, he should make himself a cup of tea; he doubts he’ll be getting much sleep anyway.
Instead he sits at his kitchen table and stares out the window. There’s a light on in the apartment across the way. He wonders what they’re doing, if they were on duty tonight. If they’ve had their life irrevocably changed by any young, idealistic Sith lately.
“The honor has been mine.”
He wants it to be insincere. A lie, a trick, something. Who says that? No, he rephrases, what kind of Sith says that? He knows he shouldn’t trust it. If he was as intelligent as he likes to think he is, he’d be glad to see the back of her. Honor never lasts, no matter what the stories say. Fiction is fiction for a reason; the greatest Sith, those who made the galaxy quake at their whims, cared nothing for the lives of ants like him.
But.
But when he closes his eyes, he sees her tired smile. Hears the way she gushed about him to Baras, her eyes shining. Remembers the desperation in her voice when she’d told him not to risk himself against the Jedi. “I refuse to let that happen,” she’d said. As though he matters. As though he, Malavai Quinn, thirty-seven years old and a disgraced lieutenant on one of the most backwater rocks in Imperial space, with no status or influential allies or access to any particularly juicy blackmail, is important. Not because of what he can do for her or who he is connected to, but because he is a person.
He is suddenly furious. Where were you ten years ago, twenty years ago?! Where were you when I was new? How dare you come to me now, Yaellia Ivros? But even as he balls his hands into fists to stop them shaking, he imagines how that would have went. Twenty-seven year old Malavai had been going through the worst year of his life—his father’s death, Druckenwell, the war’s unceremonious end—and he wouldn’t have appreciated being reminded that such things as hope and decency existed in the galaxy. Seventeen-year-old Malavai frankly doesn’t bear thinking about; he’d been an insufferable teenager, and she probably would have stabbed him. He can’t say he would have complained. It would have been normal.
Then again, normal isn’t a word he can truthfully use to describe her. Despite the incredible results she gets, he knows her methods won’t make her popular. He can’t imagine even Baras approving. Then again, he also can’t imagine her letting his disapproval change anything. His heart is racing, and he’s not sure whether it’s terror or something else. She really could change the galaxy. If she lives.
If.
His heart sinks. Sith politics will eat her alive. Stars, if Baras finds out how she interprets his orders he’ll probably eat her alive. He tries to imagine a galaxy without her, without her lightning-fast sabers and strange sense of compassion and the sheer joy she takes in opera. Without the change she effects everywhere she goes just by existing. It should be easy; he’s only known her for a few days, and they’ve barely spoken. They are nearly strangers.
He wants to change that. He can change that; he’s a captain now, he can take any posting he wishes. He can find her ship, join her crew, serve at her side. For the first time in a decade, he can do anything.
By the time he wakes the next morning, he has made his decision.
&
Everything he owns fits into two suitcases. He could probably narrow it down to one, but he remembers sparkling gold eyes and decides to pack every music-related disc he has. He showers and shaves with particular care; after a brief internal debate over whether he should wear his dress uniform, he settles for his best everyday one instead. Too formal and he’ll appear ridiculous instead of sincere, and he can’t bear for her to think he’s not taking this seriously. He makes himself a cup of decaf tea before he leaves.
Afternoon, Vette had said, but he has no idea what a Twi’lek considers afternoon and he barely slept last night out of fear of somehow missing their departure entirely. It’s 1100 on the dot when he makes his way into the hangar at a brisk walk, looking for the ship registered under Yaellia’s name.
Fortunately, it’s impossible to miss. The Zhasanai’s Grace is a sleek Fury-class Interceptor, a very common model, but instead of the standard gray she’s been painted bright red with jagged black lines reminiscent of traditional Zabrak tattoos. Zhasanai, he recalls, is also a Zabrak name. He wonders who Yaellia named her ship for, and if she’d tell him if he asked. He suspects she would. As he approaches, his attention is caught by droids loading pallets of supplies into her cargo hold, followed by a chauffeur steering a cherry-red four-door Manta Landspeeder the size of a Cartel skiff in with them. Last night’s death trap was clearly the first thing she could grab; this is the sort of speeder he would have expected Yaellia to fly.
None of the workers pay him any mind. He stands at a loose parade rest and waits next to his suitcases.
And waits. After a while, he finds himself fighting the urge to scroll through his datapad. He hasn’t had time to catch up with the news in a while, and this is around the time of year when the drafts start for cricket season. But if Lady Yaellia sees him acting so frivolously in public, the sheer embarrassment will probably kill him before any of her enemies get the chance.
He’s started to lose track of how long he’s been waiting by the time the elevator opens to reveal her standing inside it. She’s got one arm looped through the handle of a Sobrik Spaceport gift bag and the other through Vette’s; at first he can’t make out what they’re talking about, but then he realizes she’s supplementing her side of the conversation with ISL when words fail her and upgrades his mental portfolio of her to include has exceedingly strong opinions on spaceport food. His mouth does something so unfamiliar he has to pause to recognize it as a smile.
When she sees him, the ISL stops and her face lights up. “Captain Quinn! Did you come to see us off?”
He bows as deeply to her as he would to Lord Baras. “My lord,” he murmurs. “I hope you don't find my appearance here obtrusive. I beg an audience.”
She blinks, and then nods. “Of course.”
He takes a deep breath. He should have practiced this speech, but even now that it’s happening part of his brain can’t believe it. “My reassignment is an evolution I've longed for, but I assumed it would never come. Aiding you on this planet—it has reawakened the ambition I began my career with, to make the most profound impact possible for the Empire.”
Before he can second-guess himself, he drops to one knee and bows his head. Yaellia chokes. “Captain Quinn!”
The spaceport floor is freezing through the thin fabric of his uniform trousers and badly in need of a power-washing. Someone’s dropped used chewing gum not half a meter away. Yaellia’s boots need polishing, and one of Vette’s is coming untied. He notices all of this only because his heart is pounding like an artillery bombardment and if he looks up he thinks he might faint. That would certainly not help his case.
Breathe. In for three, hold, out for five. Hating the tremor in his voice, he continues, “I cannot think of a more glorious and honorable way to make a difference in the galaxy than to serve you.”
She makes a noise like a dying gundark. He risks a brief glance upwards and finds her with both hands clasped to her mouth, her face absolutely scarlet. She seems to be beyond words.
His mouth goes dry. He has to make her see. “I'm here to pledge myself to you. I'm ready and willing to serve in—in whatever capacity you see fit.”
“Whatever capacity?” It is very close to a squeak. “That’s—really?”
“Oh, stars,” Vette mutters. “And I thought you two flirting over snooty musicals was bad—”
Yaellia kicks her sharply in the ankle. It would be funny if it wasn’t also mortifying.
He’s talking more quickly now. He knows he sounds desperate—undignified—but he can’t stop. He’s so close, he knows it. “My lord, if given the chance, I know I will prove myself to you. I'm a top-notch pilot, military strategist and a deadly shot. I can fly this ship, plan your battles, assess your enemies and kill them. You won't find a more tireless and loyal subject. I will dedicate every ounce of my strength to your cause.” Please. That Twi’lek can’t protect you alone, not from the kinds of threats you’ll be facing. You need me.
She’s still staring at him as though she can’t quite believe what she’s hearing. “...Captain Quinn,” she says carefully. “Are you sure about this?”
A voice, gentle yet firm. Words straight from myth. Nobility he’s only ever dreamed about. The absolute certainty that all of that stands balanced on a razor’s edge, and she will need all the help he can give if she’s not going to be sliced to ribbons.
He can only answer honestly. “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life, my lord.”
Her chest swells with her deep breath, and it’s not his imagination that has her back straightening. She is noble in more than just her actions, after all. Fealty is her birthright. “Then I accept your service.” Her serious tone is utterly at odds with the grin that spreads across her face as she adds, “Besides, who else would I talk about opera with? I haven’t forgotten.”
He actually had. “Um,” he starts, dropping his gaze. “It would be an honor—”
A hand appears in his field of vision. It takes him a moment of confusion to realize Yaellia is offering to help him to his feet. “Now, do get up off the floor. I don’t want to think what it’s doing to your knees.”
He has a split second to think This is inappropriate, I mustn’t before his hand comes up entirely of its own accord to wrap around hers. It’s warm even through their respective gloves, and she only has to take half a step backwards to haul him to his feet. If he’d been shorter, it would be effortless. There’s a moment before he fully straightens where his eyes meet hers, and the expression in them is one he cannot bear to name.
But neither can he look away. She has yet to let go of his hand, and it’s frozen him in place like a tractor beam. “My lord,” he starts. You’ve given me my life back. You’ve given me hope. How else can I repay you?
“My captain,” she murmurs. Her voice wasn’t even this soft with Lieutenant Rutau, and that man had nearly lost a foot. Malavai just has a mildly sore knee.
Vette chooses this exact moment to ask, “Is this all your stuff?”
He jerks away from Yaellia like he’s been burnt, turning the full force of his glare on the Twi’lek. “Indeed.”
Yaellia looks over his suitcases with a judgmental eye, but when she turns back to him she’s smiling again. “We’ll get you set up right away, never fear. I can’t wait to give you a tour of the ship.” She pauses. “Ah, do feel free to make any adjustments to the cockpit you want. It might be a bit cramped in there otherwise.”
This time, he knows he’s smiling back. “...Thank you for giving me this opportunity, my lord. I will submit my reassignment papers as we depart.”
And he steps onto the Zhasanai’s Grace, ready to begin his new life.
-
Worldbuilding/headcanon notes:
- Quinn's love of opera comes from the fact that one of the Imperial Memorabilia gifts you can give him (his favorite type of gift) is a Sith Opera Collection. (The fact that another gift in that category is Banned Imperial History Document says a few things...) - Quinn & Yael are both super autistic. Quinn does not know this about himself. Boy You Gon' Learn. - His baby brother, Zeiran, is ~8 years younger than him and an Imperial Intelligence agent. They have not spoken since Druckenwell. - I am at least 95% sure I read the timeline right and Druckenwell/the battle of Rhen Var (Col. Rymar Quinn's death)/the Treaty of Coruscant happened in the same year. Please nobody tell me if I'm wrong. - Lord Venditor is my friend's OC! Unbeknownst to Quinn, he is a sad wet dog of a man.
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