#on gerards birthday!! they would have been uh

[on-this-day-mcr]

On this day, April 9

In 2002: My Chemical Romance gave their first ever interview. The interview, featuring Gerard and Mikey, was for Snagglezine, a New Jersey fanzine run by two Eyeball Records interns.  Read the interview here, or below the cut!

M: I'm Michael Way, I play the bass guitar. G: I'm Gerard Way, I'm the singer. K: Your biggest influences? G: Iron Maiden. M: The Smiths. G: At the Gates, Brit pop, Blur, Morrisey, shit like that. Like metal, like melodic metal. We're all about it, like Helloween, big influences. M: Oh yeah. Keeper of the Seven Keys. G: You can't hear any of our influences in our music though but it's there. M: It's subconsciously in the music, but nobody else can pick it up unless you're looking for it, you can't really pick on what's there. K: We hear that you just signed to Eyeball (Records). How's it feel to be signed to such a great label? G: We're fucking really excited. M: It's so excellent. G: I've know Alex for a while, I probably shouldn't say that, Alex is fucking great. M: ..and an amazing human being. We've known him and he took care of fucking Thursday and we were psyched about that, but not only that, we were really psyched to be with Pencey Prep because those kids fuckin helped us out right from the start. They gave us their tour van when we needed it, they gave us their fuckin tour van! Hambone gave us the tour van and fuckin cause they're getting a new one and they gave us a spot in their practice studio that we share with them, so we share a practice studio with them. C: Yeah Alex got us our first interview, Thursday. M: Yeah I remember, I was right there. No, but it's great cause it's like a family, we all hang out all the time, it's amazing. G: We can't hang out with Thursday as much as we'd like to cause they're always on tour which is gonna happen to all our bands now. K: Favorite bands to play with and favorite venue? G: Pencey (Prep). M: So far it's just Pencey (Prep) but the Loop (Lounge) was hot. G: But the Loop, even though they don't let kids in which sucks, I don't like that 21 and over stuff, but it had great sound. M: Yeah, there's like a professional sound guy. G: But this place (Garfield American Legion) had great sound. C: CBGB'S had good sound for Thursday. M: Oh the Piebald one? C: Yeah. G: Oh I want to play there. C: It's good. M: So far we only played about 5 shows, out of 5 shows, the Loop was the best. G: And we got an encore there. M: Yeah people were calling for an encore. K: That's awesome, we've never been there. Have you guys played in any bands before? G: Me and Mikey had this band called Raygun Jones and we were like, you know, really young and he was the bass player back then too. We had a female bass player and she just dropped out so we just put a bass on Mikey pretty much the same way we did this time. We put a bass on him and said play. We trained him. M: Yeah exactly. It's like I normally play guitar but like my brother came up to me with the material and I was just so blown away that I had to join. I was like, "I don't care what I play" and "I have to be in this somehow". G: He really filled out our band. We had a good vibe going anyway but then when he was in it, it clicked. And that's why, the way you saw us play out there today, we weren't playing like that until Mikey was playing tight with us and joining. K: How long have you guys been established and what was your reason for starting a band? G: The band, uh, me and Otter really got together in November, I believe, and the real reason we established it was because it has a lot to do with the September 11th attack. I was on my way to get ready for a Cartoon Network meeting because I do cartoons and stuff and he had that option. We saw the plane hit right from the train and when we got there we were all just standing on the pier in Hoboken like right on the edge. There's like 300 people that were friend and family and we all saw it go down. That's when I realized that doing this cartoon was bullshit, I love to draw and make art but it was so commercial, it was just that I felt like having meetings with people in suits, it just made me realize what the hell I'm doing with my life. That's what our 1st song that we always open with "Skylines and Turnstyles" is about. It's about the Trade Center. C: Although I'm a big fan of the Cartoon Network and like 3 in the afternoon in your pajamas... G: Yeah but dealing with them is not fun. That actually got it and everyone like came together through the music. It's like therapy. K: How did you get the name and does it imply that you guys are quite the partiers? M & G: Hahaha Oh!!! G: We used to call Mike "Mikey Party" but now he's "Mikey Romance". K: That's how we met you! M: Yeah it was at a party. G: It's like 11 different meanings for the band. You can take them anywhere. On a personal level, for me, it's about anti-depressants. I was like so depressed about a year ago and I just wanted to cut my fuckin face off. It's also like a reference to Irvine Welsh and his books. M: All his books are like classified as Chemical Romances. It's like love stories where there's like drugs involved. C: Yeah, I went to google to see if you guys had a site and all his stuff came up. M: Yup yup, Irvine Welsh. Now there's only 2 people so far that picked up on that. Two people were like "Whoa, you mean like Irvine Welsh?". But it's a personal level, like we took the name and we brought it to a personal level. G: Yeah it really means for me anti-depressants. Like we drink beer and shit... M: We like to party. K & C: Hell yeah. G: We drink and party, we rock and roll man. K: Yeah, the most "un-edge" name, right? G: We don't like do drugs though. C: You're not my friend then. (haha, he's kidding). M: Yeah we don't need drugs to have a good time. :: Gerard announces slumber party and that guitar player takes guitar to a whole new level because he has a gash and is bleeding:: K: One more serious one, what do you guys think of the sudden outburst of bands on indie labels such as Thursday, Phantom Planet, Hot Water Music, and Rival Schools being played on MTV2 and MTVX? G: I think, I always thought this because I've been an artist with comics from that whole scene too. Anything from the underground eventually makes its way up. It's like something underground, it's new and fresh and it's eventually gonna make its way up to the tv. It's bound to happen, it happens with everything. Nirvana is the best example of it and I think that's what's gonna happen with Jersey and I think it's gonna be great. M: I think it's like survival of the fittest cause like whoever's doing it for the right reasons is gonna survive and whoever's doing it for the wrong reasons is gonna get chopped and fried and we all know who's doing it for the right reasons. C: Yeah we know. Do you guys like Dragon Tales? G: We're Lord of the Rings fans. M: No, he's talking about the cartoon. C: ...on PBS. G: The only exposure I have with Dragon Tales is that little kids come in and ask for the cd @ B & N. C: Best Valentine's gift you ever got? G: I'm about to get one right now but I haven't seen it yet. Shit. I haven't really gotten any. I got roses, I love roses so a girl got me roses. That was pretty cool. M: You know what, I can't even remember getting one because there hasn't been a powerful female outlet in my life to give me a Valentine's day gift. So there's no Valentine's day gift I can remember. C: No little candy hearts from grandma or mom or anything like I usually get? M: No way! K: You got frogs this year. M: You're lucky dude. C: Yeah I got frogs from her. Disney character that most represents you? M: Donald Duck. G: Yeah Mike dressed up like Donald Duck in 2nd grade. M: It was a fuckin rad costume, my grandma made it. G: It was fuckin hot and then the next year he dressed up as a stay puff marshmallow. M: And it was also really hot. G: Mr. Toad. C: Would you guys ever cover "The Lady Is A Tramp" by Frank Sinatra? M: It could be done. G: Could we do that? M: It could totally be done. G: Yeah I could see us doing that. M: Cause Frankie's awesome. G: What about doing a Dean Martin or a Sammy? M: Those guys knew how to party man. C: The Rat Pack. G: The Sans Crew. Vegas man. We want to bring Hambone with us cause he always wins on slots. M: He's the King of Slots. ::tangent on Hambone:: Other members not in interview: Otter (Matt)->drums Ray Toro->guitar, phenomenal

[reanbowful]

“you look good together”

if someone told them that they and the reader look good together

It’s my first time ever writing something like this, so please excuse me if I get a bit off topic 🥲 Requests are open if you wanna see a specific promt!

(gray, ben, alex, gerard, wolf, donald, jake)

gray yeon / yeon sieun

It was a normal day after cram school, Gray and Eugene had just finished their classes.

You popped your head in through the window of Gray’s classroom and greeted them, letting them know that you will be waiting downstairs since you have to meet with your friend.

Gray gave a warm smile towards you and nodded, when he realized Eugene has been eyeing him with a suppressed smile.

“What?”

“I think you look good together.”

The ever so calm gray would turn his head, flushed red at the mention. Remember when he was shown the group chat in Byuksan, yea like that.

Especially if he likes you a lot too, he would definitely blush.

But that would be the most of his outward expressions. Once he recovered he’ll be back to his normal stoic self.

He would probably ask something like, “What makes you say that?” or “Hm, right.” If he wants to just move on from the topic.

Though, he would be very conscious over you now that it has been mentioned.

You will catch him catching glances at you when you guys are together.

He can’t help it, you’re basically hyper fixated on his mind for a while after that.

ben park / park humin

It would be the trio, Ben, Alex and Gerard on their daily pool game.

Ben had been rambling something about you when Gerard chuckled:

“Hey! Why are you laughing?”

“It’s just, you guys would look good with each other.”

Ben.exe has stopped working.

He literally would just stop whatever he was doing. And stare into nothing, letting the words sink in.

You guys look good together.

Man will literally plan you guys’ wedding day in his head.

After like 3 quite alarming seconds that possibly made Gerard and Alex a little concerned, he would just beam out

“REALLY?!”

Literal stars in his eyes.

From then on, he’s gonna be planning out ways to ask you out with the help of the boys. Alex getting the brunt of all his ramblings.

“Oh! Should I get them flowers? But what if they don’t like flowers? Should I take them to the movies instead?! What should I do- GOGO HELP!”

But when it comes to the times that you are anywhere merely visible to him, he would get really shy.

He doesn’t want to embarrass himself in front of you after all.

Would show off his strength to win your heart for sure.

alex go / go hyuntak

He met you for the first time when he had to train late at night.

You work the night shift cashier at a convenience store near the gym.

“It’s quite late for a work out, don’t you think?”

You caught his eyes and it wasn’t long until you guys are exchanging socials and texting each other.

While on a break from his training, he opened up his phone to check the messages you sent him. A picture of you and your little brother celebrating his birthday.

He felt his heart filled with warm as a small smile curled on his lips. Completely forgetting that he was not alone.

“That your girlfriend?”

Startling himself, poor guy almost threw his phone.

“W-what?! Wha- no! No. She’s just a friend..”

Laughing heartily at how red and flustered Alex became, the coach gave him a pat on his shoulder.

“You two look good together.”

Looking back at your picture, Alex smiled to himself. He didn’t know what he had done to get your eyes on him.

ISTG HE’S SO PRECIOUS HELP

gerard jin / jin gayool

He’s working his usual job at Ttosikki when the owner handed him over a chicken serving.

“Uh what..?”

The man explained that someone has been coming in ordering the same thing and asking to hand it to “the tall server”.

Gerard asked who it was from, but before the owner could answer, a message popped up in his phone.

Enjoy the chicken! And don’t overwork yourself okay?

Smiling to himself, Gerard didn’t notice the dirty look Teddy threw him.

“Don’t you look good together.. must be nice!”

Now, I don’t think Gerard would really react much to it. He would probably just shrug or chuckle. And say something like,

“Do we? I’m such a lucky guy.”

But on a side note, Gerard doesn’t seem like the type of guy who would really pursue dating. HOWEVER, when he first met you, it was like a puzzle just clicked.

Likewise, he is also a little shy at first, but your outgoing personality covered it for him.

He’s a pretty flexible and easygoing person, so I think he would warm up pretty quickly to you.

wolf keum / keum seongje

This man is just so.. unfazed.

He’s unfazed about literally everything so I think in order to get any reaction from him, it’s gotta be something so out of the blue or catch him off guard.

Being a freshman in Ganghak, it’s rare for Wolf to check on the upperclassmen.

And let’s be honest, he probably doesn’t even attend classes that much.

But that day, somehow, just by chance he was attending class. And it was also JUST BY CHANCE, that you were going through the freshmen homerooms looking for recruits to join your club.

We know that when Wolf is uninterested in something, he can just tune out any noise in the background. And that was just what he did, about to sleep this lesson off until he heard your voice.

“Um, excuse me. Are you in a club yet?”

“No, and I’m not interested.”

“Well! You don’t have to decide now, just fill in your contact info here so we can give you the details as you think about it.”

He’s getting kind of irritated with you distracting his sleep and looked up to tell you off but whew.

Wolf sees. Wolf simps.

He didn’t know that Ganghak had an angel in its midst.

“Uh.. yea sure I guess.”

Best believe it was also by chance, that Donald Na had gone to Ganghak to check on some Union business.

So yea, you bet he saw the whole interaction.

“So, Wolf. I see you two make a great pair.”

A small blush on the tips of his ear as he pretend to adjust his glasses.

“What are you even talking about..”

SHY WOLF SHY WOLF 🙌

donald na / na baekjin

Rumors have it that Donald Na has a partner.

Someone other than Kingsley or the Union that usually frequents his office in Yeouinaru.

Well that person, is you.

And while you weren’t officially dating him yet, it sure as hell look like you guys are.

It was one of the days when you were visiting him. You guys are quite open on the pda, so you were sitting on his lap in his office.

“Oh shit! I gotta go to my part-time job, bye babe!”

Kissing him on the cheek, right as Kingsley walked in.

He turned his gaze downwards and greeted you goodbye as you closed the door behind you.

Kingsley cleared his throat while Donald raised one of his brows.

“You have something to say, Kingsley?”

“No.”

“…”

“Well, you look good together.”

Smirking as he turned his chair,

“That, we do.”

Literally no shame. Just pride.

jake ji / ji hakho

You guys are the popular kids at school that everyone thinks are dating, but aren’t.

One day, Jake will be heading to your classroom as he always does if his class ended early.

When he heard it.

A bunch of girls that probably didn’t notice he was walking past their classroom talking together, about him.

“Don’t you think they look so good together?”

“Who?”

“Jake Ji! And that girl who’s always with him!”

“Ah, yes! Aren’t they dating?”

Their words fell into a murmur as Jake’s eyes widen at the girls’ words and felt the gears turning in his head.

When he finally reached your class, it has ended already.

Walking over to your seat, he looked at you so seriously that truthfully it kinda creeped you out.

“Jake?”

“I think we should go out.”

“Uh yea. It’s lunch break.”

“No I mean like we should start dating.”

“…all of a sudden?”

“Yeah. I think we look good together.”

Well there you go, a few gossiping had Jake realizing his feelings for you!

[dramaticvhs]

7 fics with 100k+ words (Teen Wolf)

I don't make a habit of reading longer fics because I get migraines and once I'm invested I can't bring myself to put them down. even if you're like me and don't read long fics, i encourage you to give these a try if they interest you. these are the longest ones I have bookmarked and I hope you enjoy them as much as I have ❤️

read tags. some fics may contain sensitive content. check pairings, ones included on this list might not be your cup of tea.

1. Don't Savage The Messenger by exclamation

(Sterek, Explicit, Graphic Depictions of Violence, 172,379 words)

There is an uneasy truce between the werewolves in the woods and the humans who live in Beacon Hills, protected by a magical boundary that gives warning any time a werewolf crosses it. Then the sheriff is taken by the werewolves and his son offers himself in exchange.

Stiles promises to serve the werewolf pack, not knowing what horrible use they might have for him. But it turns out his most useful skill is the ability to cross the boundary line between humans and werewolves. Life with the werewolves is nothing like he feared and the werewolves themselves are nothing like the hunters' stories would have him believe.

2. Bodies Can Be Bought But the Heart Cannot Be Owned; Only Given Freely by kyrene

(Sterek, Explicit, Underage and Rape/Non-con, 102,965 words)

In a world where the human race is enslaved by the werewolf race, Derek Hale struggles to recover from the damage caused to his teenage self by the human, Kate Argent. More to the point, he doesn't believe that slavery is right. But each werewolf gets a personal slave when they become an adult and he's long overdue.

The moment he sets eyes on the filthy, naked slave in the corner of the packed warehouse, Derek knows he has to bring him home. But can he ever gets Stiles, who has never known a kind owner before, to trust that he's finally found a safe place?

3. My, What Big Shoulders You Have (The Better to Help You Carry the Weight) by isthatbloodonhisshirt (wasterella)

(Sterek, Mature, No Archive Warnings Apply, 285,568 words)

“Talia was just telling me an interesting story,” his dad informed him. Stiles didn’t have the nerve to glance over at him, because he knew no matter how much he argued, the proof was all there. The wolves had found him, Parrish had picked him up on the side of the road, he had a fucking picture on his phone. He was screwed. No point in arguing, all it’d do is piss his father off even more.

“You don’t say,” Stiles offered slowly. “What uh—you know, I like stories. Is it a uh, good one?”

“It seems to be a matter of opinion,” Talia said with another kind smile. “I hear you had quite the night last night.”

Okay, time to cut his losses. He was already fucked, all he could do was apologize and hope she didn’t press for him to get fined and arrested. Given he was her husband’s friend’s son, he had high hopes.

“I’m really sorry,” Stiles blurted out. “It was stupid and-and irresponsible and just—I am so sorry. I shouldn’t have crossed into your territory. I should’ve known better, I do know better! It was a complete lapse in judgement and I am just—I am so sorry.”

4. Where the Real Beasts Are by kaistrex (weishen)

(Sterek, Explicit, Graphic Depictions of Violence, 109,100)

Crown Prince Stiles is gifted a direwolf on his eighteenth birthday by King Gerard I of Venatia. The only instruction? Never remove the collar.

Stiles never has been one to do as he’s told.

5. But I Know (a love like this will end in tragedy) by LadySlytherin

(Steter, Explicit, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, 175,687 words)

What happens when you combine outstanding medical bills with a werecoyote ex-something-or-other, who doesn't understand boundaries?

In Stiles' case, the answer is: Peter Hale as a sugar daddy.

Stiles knew doing this with Peter was probably a bad idea. He knew it wouldn't be easy. He knew his friends wouldn't understand. Stiles also knew he was going to do it anyway.

6. What the Hell Is This, Baywatch? by Jenetica

(Melissa McCall/Stiles Stilinski, Explicit, Graphic Depictions of Violence and Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, 101,913 words)

The summer Melissa expected: A happy reunion with Scott after his junior year of college, a slight uptick in work at the hospital, and a generally quiet couple of months.

The summer Melissa did not expect: A strangely tolerable friendship with Lydia Martin, a hellish bout of supernatural antics, and Stiles Stilinski turning into a hot lifeguard who’s decided he wants to spend his summer giving her some kind of sex-fueled conniption.

Guess which one she gets.

7. Divided Loyalties by LennaNightrunner

(Stackson, Explicit, Underage, 154,031 words)

Jackson returns home after a month spent in London trying (and failing) to start the next phase of his life there. Knowing now from experience that he’d be a fool to try to make it as a werewolf on his own, he asks Derek to take him in as a beta. Derek agrees on the condition that Jackson will do as he’s told. Jackson hopes that, despite the mess left in the wake of the Kanima, he might be able to repair his life in Beacon Hills. Of course, things haven’t really been going the way Jackson has hoped lately...

[artzychic27]

More Favoritism stuff, cuz… I fucking love this au. Also, the person who sent in the first ask, sent in another one where two gay punks get the Ladybug and Black Cat Miraculous, so expect to see that soon

Now, let’s just throw around a few incorrect quotes

Marc: *About to go into battle as Mariquita* I know you're a little worried about me. Look, I'm not gonna lie to you. We've never gone into a fight like this, and I don't know what's gonna happen. But you don't have to worry. I will make it back. I love you, man.

*Kiran hugs Marc*

Lila: Aaw.

*Marc then turns around in shock to see Lila, who has heard his every word*

Lila: Are you talking to your baby brother?

Marc: No!… Shut up!

Lila: That's adorable!

—

Mariquita: And where have you been?

Bomb Shell: Nowhere?

Mariquita: How did you get so hurt?

Bomb Shell: Oh, that. Well, uh, we were...

Vulpix: Hit...

Viperion: By a...

CapriKid: Bus?

Queen Bee: *whispers to CapriKid* Hit by a bus?!

CapriKid: Well, what was I supposed to say, meteor, cow, flying building?!

—

Lila: *To the student body* Okay, yeah. I've got an apology. So, I have this friend who took pity on me as the new student this year. And I convinced him that it would be fun to mess up Marinette Dupain-Cheng’s life. So I pretended to be friends with Marinette, and then he would come to my house after and we would just laugh about all the dumb stuff Marinette said. And we gave these candy bar things that would make her break out, and then we turned her best friends against her because, oh yeah! She has her crush’s entire schedule in her room, which is creepy. And then... Oh yeah, Marc- you know my friend Marc? The mastermind got Adrien, Marinette’s obsession, to see the light and separate himself from her. Oh, God, and we gave her foot cream instead of face wash! God! I am so sorry Marinette. Really, I don't know why I did this. I guess it's probably because I've got a big crush on a guy who’s not even into you! Suck on that! AY-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI!

—

Marinette: Can I just say that we don't have a clique problem at this school? And some of us shouldn't have to take this workshop because some of us are just victims in this situation.

Mme. Mendeleiev: … Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by Marinette Dupain-Cheng? *she watches all students and teachers raise hands*

—

Marc: Marinette Dupain-Cheng... How do I begin to explain Marinette Dupain-Cheng?

Jean: Marinette Dupain-Cheng is a blackmailer.

Denise: I hear she’s got dirt on all of her classmates and they don’t know it.

Lacey: I hear she’s stalking Adrien now.

Ismael: Her room is lined with photos of him.

Simon: One time, I caught her kissing a wax statue of him at the museum.

Mireille: And she threatened me not to say anything.

Cosette: One time she punched me in the face... So I kicked her ass. It was awesome.

—

Marinette: I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me... but I can't help it that I'm popular.

—

Marinette: Why were you talking to Marc Anciel?

Nathaniel: Well, I mean-

Marinette: He’s so pathetic. Let me tell you something about Marc Anciel. We super close back in middle school. I know, right? It's so embarrassing. I don't even... Whatever. So then in eighth grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend Gerard who was totally gorgeous and obsessed with me, and Marc was like, weirdly jealous. Like, if I would blow him off to hang out with Gerard, he’s be like, "When can we hang out?" And I'd be like, "Why are you so obsessed with us?" So then, for my birthday party, which I invited Gerard to, I was like, "Marc, I can't invite you, because I think you're in love with Gerard." I mean I couldn't have that at my party. There would be so much drama. I mean, right? Of course, everyone caught on, and saw him only as a homewrecker, because, duh, he is. And then he dropped out of school because no one would talk to him after, and he came back in the fall for lycee, his hair was messed up and he was totally weird, and now I guess he's on crack.

—

Adrien: Marinette seems... sweet!

Marc: Marinette Dupain-Cheng is not sweet! She's a scum-sucking demon queen, she ruined my life!

—

Okay, now headcanons!

Marc occasionally gets revenge on Marinette by cutting holes into her jeans, leggings, and shorts

After Marinette tarnished Lila’s reputation by claiming she got Akumatized because she was jealous of her liking Adrien, Marc seized the opportunity to adopt her

Marc: Hey, when you’re done crying over the school’s cult leader shunning you, I wanna restyle your hair.

Lila: … Why are you talking to me? Aren’t you worried about her highness sending them after you?

Marc: Honey, we’ve been bitter enemies the minute she was born. She can do or say whatever the hell she wants. Now, let me do your hair. I’m not a fan of the three ponytails.

Lila: Fine, go ahead. *Marc starts undoing her ponytails* … You do know you’re in the girls bathroom, right?

Marc: Screw gender, you needed help.

They spend their days avoiding Marinette and her classmates at all costs, reading under the stairs on in the basement, and doing each others nails

Lila has considered switching classes, but she doesn’t want to give Marinette the satisfaction

Marc’s closed off from his classmates in this au. He doesn’t know if he can trust them or not, and they don’t talk to him

Whenever they try to make conversation, he gives one worded answers and then walks away

Marinette has blackmail on all of her classmates, and they’re none the wiser. One person thinks everyone else loves her and they go along with it because they don’t want to be shunned and harassed like the outcasts by the rest of the school

It’s mob mentality. She popular and supposedly nice, so people go along with everything she says, and becuase she has connections with celebrities

The moment Nathaniel behind hanging out with Marc and Lila after Marc refused to make an Adrinette comic with him, Marinette made sure to let everyone know about his anger issues, causing him to be avoided by almost half the student body while the rest just try to provoke him

Well, that all ends when Marc defends him

Marc: Oh, Louis. Do I need to tell a certain someone I caught you making out with another certain someone in the school basement?

Louis: Y-you wouldn’t!

Marc: … Try me, bitch. *Louis runs away* That’s what I thought.

Nathaniel: … Thanks-

Marc: Don’t talk to me. *Leaves*

For that Carrie au, Marc’s not bullied as badly as 80s Carrie (because it’s not the 80s where teenagers had knives and could shiv you at any moment and slaughtered pigs), but it’s common to find graffiti on his locker and for some people to steal his belongings

Marc discovers his telekinesis when he inadvertently causes a cup of water to spill all over Marinette after she threw a crumpled up napkin at him

He gets his small dose of payback by tripping a few of his tormentors from other classes, making phones short circuit, and tying some shoelaces together

But enough about that, let’s talk about Malice- Marc’s akuma form in the Favoritism au, and the catty name everyone likes to call him at school

Grimm Reaper going through a punk phase, still has a scythe, can teleport similarly to Oni-Chan, and when people are slashed by his scythe, the worst parts of themselves are revealed

Imagine just these glowing hazes emerging from you, taking your form, and blurting out every awful thing you’ve ever done

Malice’s overall look is a hooded asymmetrical black jacket with a chain belt, torn black pants, and fingerless black gloves. The hood covers his face, showing only his narrowed glowing green eyes and wide smile. (That’s all most people ever see Marc as, just this malevolent person who enjoys the misery of others. But when you pull the hood down, there are cracks on his face, his eyes are dull with black streaks running down like tears, and the smile is gone)

[ponds-of-ink]

I have a feeling Puddle Creature would approach FNAF like watching Star Wars in release order. And then completely ignoring the Phone Guys and such because they’re too boring.

To show what I mean by sort of being in-character…

(And I’m putting this under a cut so you can prepare to have your head spin..)

FNAF 1 - Guy named Mike Schmidt takes a creepy six-day job, then gets fired. The animatronics “working” there are confused and bummed out afterwards… Unless we’re talking about the Angry Yelling Yellow Bear, then he’s just happy he gets to sleep again.

FNAF 2 - Guy named Jeremy “Fritz-Gerard” takes the same job, but he’s in the 80s. Everytime the animatronics scare him, they knock him out and show their past involvements with some magenta-and-purple-wearing guys. He doesn’t get fired, but he does retire in the 90s or something. Meanwhile, some other Fritz gets fired for messing with 10-ish animatronics at once.

FNAF 3 - Meanwhile, in Present Day Somewhere-Ville, a robot-bunny named “Spring-Trap” plays tricks on another guard. He doesn’t give out any hints about his past, but the arcade 3Guard plays at home does. That arcade might’ve been by five sad ghosts that vanished after he played… Doesn’t explain the “Bad Ending”, but oh well.

Oh and one of the Purple Guys turned into Springtrap, but that’s probably not as important as you might think. Probably.

FNAF 4 - In a different part of Somewhere-Ville, a random kid gets hunted by monsters at night. Then bullied by his older brother at dawn. Then he’s bitten by Angry Yellow Bear’s brother on his birthday. Yellow Bear’s “son” (Yellow Bear Jr.), however, promises to fix him… Though we never learn how.

FNAF 5/Sister Location - A guy named Eggs Benedict is a technican at a brand-new pizza robot rental service. He fails after getting thwacked by a huge claw on his fifth night there. This… somehow turns him into a zombie? That throws up gray spaghetti??

Also, another guy named Michael Afton tells his dad that he freed his lost sister from… somewhere— But nearly lost his life while doing that. Michael is not happy, and neither are Elizabeth and The Board Member of Somewhere-Ville Technology— Who might’ve been kept from some terrifying secrets Mr. Afton had.

FNAF 6/Pizzeria Simulator - Somebody opens up a new Freddy’s that somehow hasn’t gone wrong… Until an angry cassette player sets everything on Saturday. The casette might be haunted by a very angry manager from the ‘80s.

At least those mean robots from FNAF 3 and 6 are gone now?

UCN - Uhh… A scaredy-cat plays with Freddy’s ‘Ultra Cybernetic Network’ while a red crocodile and Angry Yellow Bear talk about him. They… might be ghosts trapped in another arcade game??

Help Wanted 1 - Freddy’s finally got its act together! Yay! They’ve even made a VR game to celebrate.

Too bad the guy from Ultra Cyber Network might’ve put a rabbit-looking bug in the system.. Or it’s Springtrap’s fault. Either one.

Security Breach - A boy called Gregory gets lost in Somewhere-Ville’s Freddy Pizza-Plex Mall. The Freddy there helps, but nobody else does— Not even this Security Guard named Vanessa.

Also there’s two rabbits named Vanny and… Springtrap but Burnt? One is mean and chases after you while the other one stays behind and calls for help from his “friends”. Freddy doesn’t like Springtrap, which is understandable.

It’s a Choose-Your-Own thing, so there’s no real ending… Well, apart from Gregory escaping.

Ruin - A year later, a girl named Cassie gets called into the mall by “Gregory”. She’s hunted down by Springtrap’s ‘Friends’ (and a blue hare that kinda looks like Purple Guy, with that huge smile…?) until she makes it to the basement. Then she realizes that it’s not Gregory, runs for it, and then… uh..

Either she falls down an elevator or she gets stuck down there. Either way, she’s turned into a ghost for sure. It’s just a guess of how and when.

Help Wanted 2 - Rabbit Bug gets squished by Vanny. That’s the only surprise here. Everything else is just training stuff for Freddy’s or some Freddy-type carnival rides…

OH WAIT. YOU FINALLY BECOME A GHOST AND HAUNT AN ARCADE MACHINE.

FINALLY, THAT PLOT THREAD PAID OFF.

(ahem)

Anyway..

The Story as Puddle Sees It: Freddy’s has a history of ghosts haunting arcade games, broken machines, and bears making messes of things. Most guards either quit or—if you’re Eggs—get turned into zombies with severe spaghetti allergies. Freddy’s has been refusing to shut down, but they might just have to resort to supplying Carnival rides to state fairs at this point. Yay?

Oh and in case you’re wondering about the not-guards:

Michael Afton is still looking for his dad.

Springtrap is messing with Freddy’s somehow.

Yellow Bear Jr. and Bullied Boy have long disappeared.

Elizabeth and The Board Member are probably gonna team up with Michael soon… If Elizabeth wasn’t a ghost trapped in a game, that is.

Mr. Afton is retired and has no clue what’s going on with Freddy’s anymore

Angry Yellow Bear and The Crocodile are still laughing at Ultra Cybernetic Network Guy

Ultra Cybernetic Network Guy still can’t beat Jeremy’s “number of animatronic tampered” record from the 80s.

The Hare is sad he didn’t catch Cassie. And that he’s still trapped in a box in the basement.

Cassie is sad because there’s no arcade machines to haunt (don’t blame her).

Gregory is sad that Not-Gregory is wreaking havoc after trapping Cassie.

Vanny and Vanessa are probably arguing with each other about the Rabbit Bug.

Magenta Guy is nowhere to be found. He probably got arrested?

The Arcade Ghosts from 3Guard’s house are at peace now. They’ve told their story, so now they can move on.

Oh and Mr. Cassette got his daughter back. Dunno which arcade cabinet she was hiding in, but at least she’s free now.

TL;DR: Puddle would assume the ghosts are in the arcade machines, not the animatronics… Among other things.

[bitters-enthusiast]

birthday fic but belated

@timmys-and-scribbles i love you and i am sorry in advance if this is long and cheesy but

1. that’s julian and

2. that’s just showbiz babey

happy belated birthday bestie i hope you enjoy

“No, you don’t understand! Please, I’ll-- I’ll beg on my knees if I have to!”

Julian could be seen, and probably heard, from a block away pleading a poor man operating a gondola on the canal, and it didn’t look much like the man was giving in to him either. 

The man shook his head, planting his hands on his hips. “You-- you don’t have to get on your knees. But I still can’t do it, I’m sorry. It’s too short notice.”

The sob that came from the redhead next was anything but subtle, and he shoved his face in his hands. “Please. Please, sir, everyone else has cancelled on me. Don’t you want to be the minority?? Wouldn’t that be a more interesting story for you?? Please, I’ll pay double, I just need this ride tonight. It doesn’t have to be all night, even just an hour if I could--”

The gondola rower rolled his eyes. The dramatics were a bit much, but Julian had good selling points. “Fine! Fine, if it means you’ll leave me alone and I can get back to work, I’ll do it for double.” 

Julian almost screamed in excitement, and grabbed the man by his shoulders. He gave him a little shake, beaming a smile from ear to ear. “Thank you! Thank you, you’ve saved me. Thank you. I’ll see you in a few hours!”

--

After having shaken this man nearly to death, Julian decided it was time to start grocery shopping. If he was going to plan the perfect dinner for his perfect partner in crime, he wanted to have the perfect ingredients. After all, a pirate couldn’t ask someone to court him if he didn’t at least offer food and drink. . . right? 

He didn’t want to stress about it. This day was already a long time coming, but every time he thought he’d worked up the courage, he found it all lost again when Julianne teased him, or plotted with him another sneaky escapade. This woman definitely, without realizing, always kept him on his toes. And he wanted to return the favor, at least for tonight. Besides, a fun date never hurt anybody, even if he didn’t wind up asking her to be his girlfriend. 

The doctor spent about an hour or so shopping around for a dinner worth remembering. It took some time thinking of recipes he knew from the top of his head, but he settled on something fond from his childhood. Something Mazelinka almost always made, and almost everyone always liked it: soup. You couldn’t go wrong with a perfect soup dish paired with bread. Plus, looking for fresh ingredients and bartering with the merchants kept his mind off of the pent up anxiety he was feeling about everything. At least a dinner he was making by himself couldn’t be cancelled last minute. 

He’d finally settled on everything he needed, and was beginning to head back to the ship. He was carelessly swinging his bags back and forth, whistling a merry little tune to keep him in high spirits. 

The high spirits lasted all of five minutes to keep his mind off his worries.

Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted Julianne, speaking to a familiar baker about eating some lunch. She was ordering some food when she caught him out of the corner of her eye, and excitedly called him over. 

Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no.

She wouldn’t notice the bags, right? Of course she’d notice the bags. But he could just pass it off as stuff for the crew! Or maybe he could just pretend as if he didn’t see her--

Of course he couldn’t do that. 

Awkwardly, he put his arms behind his back, the bags hanging over them. He gave a strange smile and headed toward Juli, giving a head nod of acknowledgement. 

“Heyyyyyyyy... how are, uh-- whatcha up to?”

The woman raised a brow, a smile on her lips as she had just finished joking with the baker. “I’m........ ordering food. Why are you being weird?”

Uh oh.

Julian gave a dismissive ‘psh”, his face turning into an expression of confusion. “I’m not being weird. You’re weird for asking that, Juli. Anyway, what’s on the menu? What’s, uh, what’s for lunch?”

Julianne immediately knew something was up, but she wouldn’t press him about it until later. For now, she’d give him a bit of a hard time about it to see if he’d spill. “Food. Looks like,” she leaned over a bit, just a small part of his groceries in view, “you also have food on the menu.”

He leaned the opposite way, trying to make the bags less noticeable from her angle. “Oh. Oh! These, right. Yeah, Cap sent me out for errands today. You know those men, uh, always hungry! Yeah, can’t go forever without snacking, even if there’s only four of them on ship!”

A small laugh came from Juli. Yeah, she’d have to find out later. “Right. Well, I have to go eat before I go back to my own errands. Would you like to join?”

Why’d she have to be so sweet?? It made him all the more nervous, and he wasn’t being a very convincing actor at the moment. “Oh, I wish I could, darling! But Cap has been on my ass this morning about staying on task! We all know how, um, fleeting time is! I’ve gotta go, don’t worry about me, I’ll see you later on board, right?”

Her eyebrow still raised, she adjusted her own bag and nodded. “Ri--”

“Okay! Perfect! Amazing, and even perfect, you could say. Oh. Wait, I said perfect twice. Anyway, farewell! See you tonight.”

Juli watched as Julian walked away backward, still trying to hide his groceries. As he finally got further away, he tried turning away quickly to take off running, but accidentally bumped into a busy woman passing by. He apologized promptly and profusely, making sure she was at least okay before taking off again. 

Yeah, he was up to something.

--

It finally had gotten darker outside, the sun setting as Julian strode back toward the boat. After a few hours, he had prepared dinner, finalized the gondola plans, and had even set up an nice surprise afterward to make sure everything was picture perfect. As if he hadn’t used the word ‘perfect’ to describe what he was going for all day. With his hands in his pockets, he’d finally settled down on his way back toward the ship, fairly confident in how the night would go.. at least for now. 

As he got closer to his familiar home of sorts, excited to meet Julianne and to get the night started after all this planning he’d done, Julian stops aboard the ramp of the ship, watching as Juli was mid-conversation with his crewmate and co-captain, Gerard.

Damn it. Here we go.

Forcing a smile, he stepped closer to hear their conversation.

A hearty laugh came from the crewmate, one that sounded incredibly devious to Julian’s desperate ears. “He really lied to your face like that, Miss Juli? Ah, you know I’d never treat you that way~”

Shut up. Shut up, Gerry. Not tonight.

Julianne would have been seen to smirk, rolling her eyes. “It’s not that he lied maliciously. I’ll still get him back for lying. But I know he’s doing something behind my back. I’m just confused as to what it is.”

Gerard leaned back against the rail of the ship, giving a nonchalant shrug. “Still. You know, it’s taken him far too long to commit to you. Maybe it’s time you give the ol’ captain a try. I,” a puff of his chest, and he placed his hand upon his heart, “wouldn’t have made you wait this long for me to meet up after lying to you, maiden.”

It was taking everything in Julian to not barge into their conversation immediately. The confidence he’d built on the way back was slowly diminishing, but he’d wait a few more seconds to see where this conversation went. 

“Co-captain, Gerard.” Julianne shook her head in amusement, also taking a seat on a nearby barrel. Might as well make herself comfortable as she waited. “How would Zora feel if she heard you giving yourself all the credit?”

“Hopefully very, very awfully.” Gerard chuckled as he ran his fingers through his hair. “But my point remains. See how he still isn’t here? That just proves my--”

If Julian wasn’t known for dramatic entrances, then the sky wasn’t known to be blue. As if on cue, interrupting Gerard as he tried to make his “point” was easy as pie for Julian, and he climbed aboard with the biggest, most confident grin he could muster to save face. “Julianne, my love!” He greeted as if she were the biggest and most important guest he could ever serve, stepping between the two to swoop her into a hug. “I’m terribly sorry it took me so long to get back! I got caught in a scuffle between two men arguing, and you know I can’t resist a good fight.” The last lines were said between almost-gritted teeth, and Julianne pulled away from his hug reluctantly.

Like her expression was before at the marketplace, she had her eyebrow raised in suspicion. “Is that so? They didn’t happen to also be the ones to eat your snacks, were they?”

Gerard chuckled from behind, making himself comfortable both physically and in conversation. “I’d say Ilyushka has a bit of a hole to dig himself out of here, hmm?”

Begrudgingly, Julian turned to look at Gerard with the same forced smile. 

“Don’t you have a hole to dig yourself into, co-captain? Go find some buried treasure.”

A laugh from the man, as well as a clever reply, “Ah, but why would I go search for one when there’s one perfectly right before my eyes?” He flashed a smile in Julianne’s direction, and then gave an innocent, seemingly curious head tilt to Julian. “Oh, unless you couldn’t see that for yourself. It seems that eyepatch gets in the way of you looking past yourself and seeing what’s in front of you.”

The smirk began to fall from the redhead’s face, and he tried not to ball up a fist onto his friend right about now. In the end, he knew Gerry was teasing, but it didn’t make the blow less hard on his ego.

Julianne wasn’t naive to the tension; she started to make off-topic conversation. “I think Gerard is talking about the wine that Zora brought back after making a deal with the bartender down the street. Something about bringing back some of that Salty Bitters stuff from Vesuvia that you like so much. He wanted to advertise something new.”  

“Right. The wine is the treasure I was talking about.” A final chuckle from Gerard and he stood, clapping a hand against Julian’s shoulder. “Save me some dessert, Ilya. You know where my room is. Send her my way.”

“Bye, Gerry. Have a good night.” Julian pulled away slightly, looking his friend up and down.

Gerard gave a hum of triumph, and pulled his hand away. On his way toward the steps downstairs, he gave a final “You know I will.” in reply.

Once he was finally out of view, Julian deemed it safe to turn back to Juli for conversation. “I am.... so, so sorry, Juli. I know you’ve been waiting for a while.”

“I know you heard the conversation with Gerard.” She replied, placing her hands upon his shoulders. “I’ve been here for a whole of ten minutes. You know how he is. Dramatic.”

He gave a soft scoff in return, rolling his eyes. “More than I am sometimes.”

With a laugh, Julianne pulled her hands away, but not before giving him a gentle pat to the face. “Not quite.” Getting up from the seat she’d made herself, she patted down the dirt that’d gotten on her dress from doing so. “Anyway, are you finally done acting weird, or are you going to keep me on my toes.”

“Well.......” Julian gave a shrug, “Hopefully the latter. But not in a bad way, I swear. I do.”

The woman only gave him a pointed glare in response. In defense, he gently took hold of her hand, and began to lead her off the ship.

“Here. Just follow me.”

--

The doctor had finally gotten Juli all to himself. After all the shenanigans of the day, he could finally wind down and listen to her talk about her day. Her errands, odd customers, the odds and ends of magic that he enjoyed listening to her go on and on about. It was what gave him some sense of normalcy among the absurdity that he endured on the regular. The gondola ride had gone smoothly, and he had definitely given the rower far more than he was worth. If not just for the theatrics and the experience, he hoped that Juli enjoyed it. Maybe she’d grown suspicious of him throughout the day, but he wanted to make it up to her.

They talked about a woman who’d called Julianne in to help cleanse her home, not knowing the “cleanse” wasn’t anything spiritual -- it was because the woman had attempted far too many cleaning spells and caused an overgrowth in weeds in her garden and magic cobwebs in her corners. Julianne had to explain that “cleansing” a house didn’t actually mean to clean it.

How cute. How cute, how cute. 

An hour or so had gone by, and after their ride, they both thanked the rower tremendously. They’d even gotten a complimentary bottle of wine and a basket of fruit -- or maybe the rower was being kind since Julian had paid him so handsomely. 

Then, he took Julianne back toward the shore. 

He had taken hold of her hand and not let go, leading her down the beach close to the docks their ship had stopped on. He was sure she probably thought something odd was going to happen by the end of the night, but he wanted to make sure she enjoyed her time nonetheless. 

As they walked, he made soft conversation.

“You know, the ocean is a view I could never get sick of. It’s so beautiful. And when the moonlight hits it just right--” he gave a chef’s kiss of sorts with his free hand.

“I guess that’s a good thing, considering you’re on a ship the majority of your time.” Juli teased, giving him a gentle nudge. “But I think so too. It’s very captivating. Calming, even.”

“Like you, hmm?” Turning his gaze from the ocean to Juli, he gave a wink. 

With a fond roll of her eyes, she laughed a little. “You’re still being weird.”

“What? No. This is just regular ol’ Ilya.”

“Yeah. Weird.”

He grinned in turn, a grin full of absolute adoration. It was getting easier to rebuild that confidence from earlier. 

They continued their playful banter, all the way up until hey reached a hidden little cove, a tucked away cave of sorts, with a light shining from within. They were far away enough now that the lamps in town seemed like blur now, and Julian preferred it that way for what he had been planning. 

Julianne stopped, looking up at her partner with a confused expression. “What’s this?”

He let go of her hand, make sure he didn’t seem as if he were coming off maliciously. They had met, after all, under the guise that he was a murderer on the run. Julian offered one of his grins, the sweet kind, the kind that made you want to follow him into the unknown on an adventure you wouldn’t want to return from. 

“Just dinner. You trust me, right? You don’t still think I’m a weirdo?”

“Well. I definitely do.” 

A laugh came from Julian, and he just shook his head. He continued forward into the cave, giving her a nod to follow. 

She did, and as they entered, a small table Julian had stolen off the ship was sitting in the middle of the cave, lit candles surrounding it in the sand below to keep light inside. On the table sat dinner: two bowls covered to stay warm, bread on either side of them, a great big glass of wine in the center of the table, and two glasses for one each. 

With a great big swoop of his arm, he gestured toward the set up with a smile.

“Well, here’s the thing I was acting strange about. I just wanted... to set up something nice for the both of us.”

After her jaw had dropped at the initial shock, Juli turned to the man with a growing smile, and she genuinely looked impressed. “I’m surprised you could keep a secret this long.” Although she teased, she found his dinner setup rather charming. Nothing short of the extravagance he made for himself since the day she met him. 

He continued forward once more, pulling one of the chairs out for her to sit. Once she was seated, he also took a seat, and began to pour them each a glass of wine to drink. 

“Also, I stole this wine. This is the one Zora brought back, and Gerard is probably looking for now. Serves him right trying to steal my thunder.”

The woman laughs, reaching for her glass once it’s filled. “They’re going to kill you.”

He shrugged yet again, his signature smirk puling at his lips. “Worth it, if not just for the thrill of the escape.”

As Julian reached to uncover the bowls, a warm, earthy and flavorful aroma takes over the cave, and he explains his escapade to gather ingredients. Making the food proved to be a pain, having to bribe the ship’s cook to let him take over the kitchen to prepare their food, and to help him set everything up while he was out on the gondola ride with Julianne. He talked about how he now owed the cook kitchen duty for a week, and had to scrub the inside of the old hearth to make up for it. But it was worth it for him, to see how much she enjoyed his childhood favorite food. All the more memories to create, even if it was just soup.

Throughout dinner, it seemed as though Julian had about finished off the bottle of wine by himself. He was getting a little tipsy, and a bit more nervous toward the end of them eating. If only he had more liquid courage to help him out.

Julianne noticed how awkward he’d begun to get as dinner went on. When they finally cleared their bowls, he started going on about the importance of the correct shoes in acting. Something was up. 

She reached for his hands, which were getting ready to pour the last few drops of alcohol into his glass.

“Ilya, tell me what’s the matter.” Her voice was soft compared to his big, velvety tone. He couldn’t help himself, not in this state of mind.

“I- no, nothing’s the matter! I’m just saying, how can you frolic about in a tunic and boots? Sure they look great for the aesthetic and for the costume, but you need the smaller and more rounded shoes to move around the stage more fleetly.”

“You’re talking about shoes, Julian, after we just had a nice dinner in a fancy set up in a remote cave.” She laughed a little at the situation, and gave his hands a little squeeze. “Tell me what’s on your mind.”

She was right. And he knew that she was. He hadn’t spent all day preparing for this moment to talk about how quick your movements need to be on stage. He had put all of this off long enough. Hell, for months. He was surprised she’d even stuck around that long, unless she thought this was all totally platonic. 

“Yeah. Yes. Yes, there-- there is something I have on my mind.” He let out a slow sigh, mentally preparing himself for his little speech. He knew that she would listen to every word, even if he slurred and stuttered his way through it. Her touch gave him a bit of sobering up, and in turn, he moved his hands to grab hers instead, leaning in closer to her presence.

“I.. hm. I’ve known you for quite a while now. And, for some reason, it feels like I’ve known you far longer than the several months we’ve been adventuring together. I don’t even know if that’s what you’d call it-- never mind. Regardless, darling, it feels like I’ve known you longer than a lifetime. Like I’ve known you since a life too distant to remember. And you... Julianne, you just seem so familiar. You met me thinking that I was a murderer. A fugitive. And even then, even after you thought I was using you, you stuck. You stuck with me. Up until then, I struggled so hard to find something like home. You gave me a chance, and I can tell you haven’t regretted it thus far. I just... don’t ever want to have to just remember you again. I want you to stick around. You’re perfect to be around. My perfect adventuring find. My... my perfect partner. We’ve never made any official call for what this is, and... I know this is all so ridiculous and grandiose and seems like some sort of proposal. In... in a way, it is. I just--” he lets his head fall, and he takes a pause, before he looked back up into Julianne’s face. “Please, little dove, would you give a pirate a chance and just call yourself mine already?”

...

Julianne, flustered, and unsure of how to respond in the immediate moment, searched Julian’s eyes for his genuine feelings. It was a long search -- after all, he’d just poured his onto the table, practically. This wasn’t at all a surprise, they had in fact been in some rut of infatuation without ever having admitted it to one another. It was always just implied. But here they were now, Julian basking in all of his monologuing glory...

Before she could respond, he was quick to make a joke, giving her hands a squeeze as she did his before he had come clean. “Plus, now I’m less likely to get in trouble for starting a fight with Gerard, seeing as how we’d be an official couple rather than just flirting, fleeting friends.”

Julianne shook her head, letting it fall as she let out a laugh. “You... are quite simply the most unbearable person I’ve ever met. In the best way possible.” Looking back up, he simply gave a friendly and teasing shrug in response, and she leaned in to seal the space between them with a kiss.

It wasn’t long before it grew passionate, one full of longing and hope from both of them. It would be hard for Julian to pull away, had he not been wait for a response. Before he let the kiss get carried away, he pulled back, a hand pressed to Juli’s face. 

“So?”

She looked him in the eyes, lifted a hand toward his face, and promptly gave him a flick to the nose.

“Ow!?” His brow furrowed, “What was that for??”

“For lying to my face earlier. I just needed you to know I didn’t forget.”

A huffy laugh came from the redhead as he reached to rub at his nose, now stinging slightly in pain. “Alright. Noted.”

She offered a final, soft smile, reaching to gently swipe her thumb over his nose in comfort. The woman then reached in for a soft peck. “I’ll be your girlfriend, Ilya. Or rather, your co-captain.” 

Julian beamed taking her face into both of his hands. “Oh, I’m so glad. As co-captain, can your first duty be to teach me an adjective other than ‘perfect’? I’m a doctor, not a novelist.”

“Sure. But only if you teach me one rather than ‘weird’,” Juli offered in reply.

“Good, good. But uh, can we wait until after dessert?”

“Didn’t Gerard ask you to save him some?”

“Oh, no. Gerry can starve. I’m sneaking dessert back into my room.”

[growntolovesecrecyfic]

Grown to Love Secrecy - Chapter Two (Petekey)

Can be read here.

Summary:  Mikey Way hates Oscar Wilde but Pete Wentz convinces him to read The Picture of Dorian Gray.

Chapter Two: Walking on Fire

--

Pete spent a lot of summers in cramped vans, and hotel rooms with sweaty dudes and expensive musical instruments and this summer is no different. The slight homoerotic tension between Pete and almost every dude he’s ever met is strong, not that Pete or any of his friends minded.

They all kiss sometimes and most of the time the press pays not mind as it’s not that big of a deal and other times tabloids have him and his friend kissing on the front cover everywhere with the F-slur painted across in bright red telling the world, “Hey, look! Pete Wentz kisses dudes!”

The tabloids have a lot to say and quite frankly, he doesn’t care anymore. All press is good press, right?

Pete spits into the sink of the Walmart bathroom that other bands from Warped have occupied that morning. Today was Patrick’s day on the bus bathroom.

He rinsed his mouth and stepped aside, letting Andy take the sink for his own routine. He walks over to the wall where Joe is and leans against it. The eggshell-colored wall was cooled against his hot skin after being out in the Dallas heat.

“Hey, man.” Joe greeted Pete to which he responded with a nod, “so any plans for after our set?” Pete thought for a moment, remembering that he did in fact have plans with Mikey tonight. Not that anybody in the band needed to know that.

“No, not that I know of. You?” Pete asked while fiddling with the drawstrings of his clandestine pajama pants. Joe shrugged before responding, “Just regular life on the Warped, you know?”

Pete nods and they exchange some more small talk and soon enough, Andy joins them, and they’re ready to take on Warped.

As they exit the Walmart, they pass families whose kids stare in adoration and parents stare in disgust. It’s not that uncommon for people to recognize them. Fall Out Boy was getting big fast and it did stress them out as they felt the pressures from their record label to push out a new album as soon as possible to keep the momentum going. Warped is their salvation for that summer. No record label, you’re constantly busy doing the thing you love and sometimes you’re in bumfuck nowhere and nobody knows who you are, those are the best kind of places.

After walking out into the parking lot, the trio realize that they’ll need to find some place to eat before their set that morning. They have three hours to kill before practice and without a car and Patrick still on the bus, it is their civic duty to fuel up now and get Patrick something he’ll like, like oatmeal or something.

And later that morning when Pete met a fan who was uncontrollably crying and threw up on his shoes, he could tell that it was going to be a painfully long day.

And he was right. After their set, they met with some fans and he had some run ins with some reporter asking about Jeanae or whatever her name was. He chooses to forget those years in his life. He ignores her texts, fake pregnancy positives and whatever sexual favor she asks of him that day. It’s been pissing him off that entire day and he wanted to let off steam. The only positive that came from that day was Patrick buying him some new underwear for a late birthday gift and his new fuckbuddy, Mikey Way. He promised to meet with him tonight and Mikey told him that the bus was empty. Pete feels that he’ll finally cop a feel tonight.

Laughter and The Smiths fills the My Chemical Romance bus however the guys were nowhere to be found except for a pair of boys at the back of the bus on the floor, “Rusty? Really?” Mikey asked and Pete just responded with grin and nodded enthusiastically.

Mikey shook his head, “Nuh-uh, I don’t believe it one bit. You don’t even look like a Rusty!” Mikey accused.

“Dude trust me! I would have been Rusty Wentz!” Pete cringed a bit at the thought but turned into a fit of laughter after seeing Mikey clutch his stomach and roll over on his side, hand covering his mouth trying to contain his laughter.

After a few minutes, the laughter finally died down. Mikey removing his glasses to wipe his eyes and Pete coughed as he tried to catch his breath before something caught his eye.

“What’s that, Mikeyway?” Pete asked. He points at an object to show to Mikey where it is.

Mikey turns to see where Pete was point at, “Oh, that’s some book that Gerard has been trying to get me to read but never did.” He answers as he gets up and gets it from his bunk. He sits on his bed and goes through the pages, “I have beef with Oscar Wilde.”

Pete chortles at Mikey’s last statement as he sits on the bed next to him, “Yeah? I love him. He’s one of my favorite writers.”

Mikey looks up at older man, furrowing his brows and slowly handing him the book, “Really? Never thought you were the type.”

“To what? Read?” Pete joked.

Mikey was quick to defend himself, “No! I never thought you were into this type of literature. It’s darker and like a horror, I guess? I think that’s why Gerard likes it so much.” He moves closer to Pete, hesitant to lay his head on his shoulder but swallows his doubts and gently place his cheek against his right shoulder.

Pete smiled, eyes moving from the book and on Mikey now, “Do you mind if I read this to you? Maybe I can learn you a thing or two.” His grin was wider now, and Mikey couldn’t help but smile back at him. He loves this. He loves that it’s them. Them alone. And with him.

“Sure. Maybe you can teach me how to love Oscar Wilde at the end of this?” Mikey asks. Pete only laughs, “I can’t teach you to that. It’s up to you if you want to love him. You chose to hate him so why not choose to love him?” Pete asked, his eyes back on the book.

“Well, we can’t choose who we love now, can we?” Mikey asked. It was more of a question for himself rather than Pete. He’s had this struggle within himself for a long time. The first boy he’s ever kissed was his best friend in 8th grade and they haven’t talked since. He’s been quiet about their whole fight and why he came back home with a black eye (and broken heart).

Pete stilled at Mikey’s question then resumed to his reading. He turns to the preface, “Do you wanna start here?�� Pete asks Mikey in a whisper. He nods and Pete continues, “The artist is the creator of beautiful things. To reveal art and conceal the artist is art's aim. The critic is he who can translate into another manner or a new material his impression of beautiful things.”

Mikey raises his head from Pete’s shoulder, raising his eyebrows, “Hm, wow. That’s kind of deep?” He readjusts himself, “Do you mind if I put my head on your lap?”

Pete smirks, “I mean… What do you plan on doing down there?”

Mikey didn’t get it immediately but lightly smacks Pete on the arm when he does, “Dude! No! I’m not that type of guy.” He exclaimed, his cheeks and nose turning pink. Pete laughs in response, rubbing his arm.

“I don’t believe that, Mikeyway. I’ve heard the rumors about you.” Pete shook his head and set the book down, placing a hand on Mikey’s thigh.

Mikey froze up a bit. What rumors? Why is his hand there? Why is he feeling so lightheaded? The warm knot in his stomach is forming slowly but surely. That can’t be good, right?

“Uhm, wh-what rumors?” Mikey asked. He’s genuinely confused, being behind Gerard’s shadow for most of his life he didn’t know that people cared enough about him to start rumors about him.

“Oh, you know.” he grinned at Mikey, moving closer to him. He put his other hand on Mikey’s other thigh, moving them both up slowly. Mikey’s breath hitched and Pete took this as a ‘yes’.

Mikey shook his head. He didn’t know.

“The ones about how you’re always willing to fuck after a show and your tight jeans no underwear combo,” Pete stops when his face was inches away from Mikey and whispers, “I just wanna know if it’s true.”

He leans in closer, capturing Mikey’s lips into his own. Mikey let out a small gasp in shock before Pete does so. He didn’t know what to do with himself. Yes, Pete and he kissed before but not like this. He couldn’t.

He moved his head away from Pete and pushed him off.

Pete was confused, Mikey never did that before. He looked at him and tried to read his face, but it was confusing him.

“Uh, did I do something wrong?”

Mikey’s heart was pounding so hard and fast, he didn’t really know what to say. He wanted to kiss Pete but he’s so confused. What rumors? Who’s saying those things? Nothing could leave his mouth. It was all different thoughts racing through his brain that day.

He shakes his head and brings Pete’s mouth back to his again.

[theimnotokayprojekt]

The I’m Not Okay Projekt Chapter 2

AO3  Wattpad  Quotev

Mikey moves to walk on the right side of Frank after they leave Mr. McGill’s classroom. “You know, asking questions isn’t a bad thing,” he starts, glancing at Frank. “Finding things out doesn’t make you less than who you are.”

Frank doesn’t respond verbally. He nods and looks down at the pink belt he’s wearing. Pink. Why pink? He shouldn't have forgotten his own belt at home. It wasn’t as though he would get in trouble for it, since it was technically a belt. It was practically screaming “Fag!”.

Frank pulls his arm out of Mikey’s and fumbles open the clasp of the belt, just wanting the flaming neon sign to disappear. He wants it gone. He can’t, he can’t . . .

“Frank? What are you doing?”

It’s Mikey. “Nothing, I’m just taking off my belt. I don’t need it.”

Even with Frank clearly holding the much too large waistband of his pants, Mikey didn’t say anything. He just kept walking at Frank’s side. He unclasps it and practically rips it out of the loops and shoves it deep into his bag before going towards the lunch line. He stands at the end, Mikey next to him, when Gerard appears through the ocean of teenagers.

“Hey can I join you?” he asks.

Frank shuffles to the side. “Yeah, sure.”

Mikey stands slightly on his tip-toes and peers of the sea of students. “Dammit, Gerard. You left Ray alone.” In his mind, it would be more practical for two groups of two people to be apart so everyone had someone and no one was left alone. He wiggles out of the line in the direction of the table Ray sits at awkwardly.

He sits down on Ray’s right, pulling out the little sack of food he kept in his bag.

“Um, hi,” Ray half-laughs, fiddling his thumbs under the table.

Mikey smiles awkwardly. “Hi.”

He opens up the bag and takes out a cheddar cheese sandwich cut in half vertically. Taking the right half, he takes a careful bite and looks back at the lunch line to see if he can find Gerard and Frank. Nothing. Swallowing, he takes a deep breath and prepares to break the silence.

“So, um,” he starts out quietly, “did you understand the whole ‘sexual attraction’ thing?”

Apparently Ray hadn’t been expecting a conversation since his head whips around wildly in search of who Mikey could possibly be talking too. “Oh, uh, not really, if I’m being honest… Is that weird?”

Mikey’s hand finds his inhaler and rubs it three times. “I… I don’t know. I don’t think so.”

“It’s probably because I’m young,” he stumbles quickly. “Did- Did you understand it?”

Mikey shakes his head and looks at his hands. “Do you think there- there’s something wrong? With us? With me?” he whispers.

It’s weird since Ray is very particular with physical touch, but he wants to squeeze Mikey in a bear hug. “I- I don’t know… Everyone tells me I should, like, find some girl and fall in love right away. But… I feel like I can’t.” He squishes his mouth to one side of his face and his mind floods with images of pushy uncles and dramatic aunts. It’s not something he realizes he’s doing, but he starts absent-mindedly twisting his skin.

Mikey looks at Ray, trying to send across that he understands, to some extent, but the words won’t come out. He fixes his glasses, mind racing to figure out what to say, what to do. 

“It’s just a weird thought… like, how do people, like, do that?” is all Ray can say, his windpipe feeling like it’s closing up.

“I don’t know,” Mikey says finally. “But, it’s nice to not be confused alone. Y’know?”

Then it’s like he can breathe again. “Yeah.”

A comfortable silence falls between the two, a sense of understanding and connection flowing between them. Mikey slowly eats his sandwich and Ray sits quietly beside him, picking at his nails.

Meanwhile, in the lunch line, Frank and Gerard stand next to each other, waiting to get their spaghetti and pizza respectively.

Frank looks up at Gerard. “So, you and Mikey are twins? Isn’t that, like, super rare or something?”

Gerard does his common comical blinking act. “Um, no. We aren’t twins. I, uh, I was actually held back…” His face flushes red and he tugs at some stray locks of hair, avoiding eye contact.

“Oh, shit, sorry.” Frank apologizes quickly. “I didn’t mean, I just thought, sorry. That was stupid of me.” 

Gerard just shakes his head as he waves his hand. “No, no it’s fine. I just, uh, y’know, don’t like to talk about it.”

Frank nods. “I get that.” He glances down at Gerard’s bag, which has a ton of buttons pinned on. “Dude, where’d you get these?”

He follows Frank’s gaze to find his pin-cluttered bag, the original pattern lost under the coat of art. “I made them. Not all of them are super great,” he sighs, unclasping a slightly smudged pin with a jack-o-lantern. “This was one of my first tries. It’s not that good,” he laughs.

Frank looks at the pin with wide eyes. If he was animated, they would probably be sparkling with excitement. “That’s so rad! Y’know, when I’m old enough, I’m gonna get a tattoo like this. ‘Cause I like tattoos and Halloween. I mean, that’s my birthday and all, but like, the jack-o-lanterns are one of the coolest parts. And the costumes.” 

“Whoa, dude, that’s so cool! Like, out of all the days in the year, you got yours on Halloween! The chance of that happening is, like…” he trails off, looking down at his dress shoes.

Frank looks at the pin in Gerard’s hand. “I don’t know, small? Fractions aren’t my strong suit. Do you, um, could you make me one of those?” he points to the pin.

“Oh, you can have this one. I’ll make you more, but I just need to focus on school…”

Frank nods, taking it gently and slipping it into his pocket. He looks forwards, seeing that they made it to the front of the line and takes a plate of spaghetti without any tomato meat sauce, while Gerard takes a slice of pepperoni pizza. “Yeah, makes sense.”

Gerard would absolutely love to unload all of his issues with math and science, but he finds stuffing his face with pizza far more appealing, so he walks beside Frank to the rickety lunch table in the back of the cafeteria. There Mikey and Ray sit, doing absolutely nothing.

“Did you guys talk at all?”

The two share a look and Ray looks over at Gerard with a wide smile. “Yeah, a bit. I still want to see your drawings!”

Gerard looks around at the three of them, all eagerly looking at him. “Uh, okay,” he mumbles. He slips out his large sketchbook and sets it on the table. He’s all of the sudden acutely aware of the entire student body around them. “Could we, uh, look at these outside?”

Ray looks at Frank, who shrugs. “Well, Frank and I sometimes went to this small part of the field right outside of the football stuff. It has a nice tree.”

Mikey easily gathers up his long-finished food and stands up, with Ray following suit. Frank scoops up the sketchbook and leads the way to their old spot. The halls are oddly barren for a high school. Frank and Ray lead the brothers outside a set of double doors to a large grassy field.

In the corner is a large oak tree, where the group heads over to sit in its shade. Frank takes out Gerard’s sketchbook and eagerly awaits to see the contents. He quickly peels it open and is met with sloppy sketches and mysterious food stains.

They’re quite good if Frank can even think that, seeing as he can draw just about a stick figure and that’s it. The lines aren’t uniform, but it somehow adds to the charm. Harsh shadows and angled features somehow give it a more authentic feel, rather than rounded out cartoons. Little bits of information about clothing or the characters’ bodies are in a messy scrawl near the spot it’s referring to.

He flips through a few of the pages to find most of them are like that; half thought-out characters with random, on-the-spot backstories.

Ray peers at the scrawled and scribbled on pages. “Gerard, this is so good!” He turns to Gerard, who is smiling bashfully.

“It’s really nothing-” he’s cut off by a look given by Mikey over his glasses. When Gerard has stopped, Mikey grins, showing his teeth, and looks back at the page.

Frank, being the one in charge of maneuvering through the book, turns the page and is met by a full-body sketch of two men dancing closely against one another, looking as though they’re leaning in for a kiss. He looks at every line with more interest than he should. Why can’t he look away? Why is he so interested in this one drawing? It’s not like he can . . . envision himself like that. No, he’s not gay.

Everyone stares at the drawing. The air surrounding the four is still and quiet, yet somehow charged and vibrating. No one dares look away, if out of fear of seeing someone or making eye contact, it’s unsure.

Then, as the tension becomes too much, Gerard snatches the book out of Frank’s loosened grip. “That- That was just…”

“Hey, Gerard, it’s fine,” Ray quickly assures, waving his hands.

Before the silence can stretch on, there’s the sound of someone walking up to them from the left. They turn and see Samantha walking up to the group. She stops as soon as she realizes four people are looking at her in surprise.

“Hey, Mikey.” She waves with a grin as she sees the bespectacled boy.

Mikey waves back, though less cheerily. “Hi.”

“Why did you say hi to Mikey and not me and Ray? We’re in your chemistry class!” Frank whines, flopping back on the grass.

Gerard looks at Samantha and then the three others next to him. “Who is she?” he asks Mikey. “How do you know each other?”

“Advanced English,” Mikey states simply.

Samantha doesn’t seem to notice the lingering stare the two brothers share as they silently communicate since she clears her throat. “Um, I just wanted to tell you I think the music room is free this period. I think they have a bass… an electric bass,” she clarifies at Mikey’s unamused expression.

Mikey’s head whips around to look at Samantha with wide eyes. “Really?! You’re not joking?!”

“I think it’s for the band, but they keep the instruments in there.” She shrugs, acting as though it isn’t a big deal, despite Mikey thinking it is.

“Oh, that’s so grea- gr- that’s so awesome!”

“We could go now if you want,” she suggests nonchalantly.

“Are there guitars?” Ray finds the courage to ask.

Samantha glances over at Ray like she hadn’t realized he was there. “Oh, um, I think so.”

Ray beams at her, unaware of her shifty gaze. Like Ray, Frank smiles up at her too. “Let’s go!”

She stiffly nods and holds a hand out for Mikey to take, but he ignores it and stands up on his own, not using his hands at all. Gerard follows suit, then Frank and Ray. Samantha leads them through the barren halls and up a couple of flights of stairs, considerably slower for Mikey’s sake until they reach the music room.

Mikey rushes to the front of the group and opens the door, scanning the room until he spots the electric bass in the corner. He beelines for it, hands hovering over it as if it were a holy relic. Ray busies himself with turning on the amp as Mikey delicately slings the bass across his chest, feeling the familiar weight of it. His fingers slide across the metal strings, and he closes his eyes and puts his hands in place. 

He starts to strum a simple bass line, feeling the vibrations of the bass and strings with his hands, the sound ring through his chest. His palms buzzed with a comfortable life pulsing through that reaches all the way down to his feet.

A teacher looks up from their desk, eyes magnified by their thick glasses. “Samantha, who are these people?”

Samantha looks over to the music teacher, tearing her gaze away from Mikey. “They’re my friends, Mx. Kloppenburg. I think two of them can play an instrument so I brought them here.”

They look over Mikey, completely lost in his own world, and nods approvingly. “I can see that.”

While Samantha and the teacher are chatting about her violin playing and Frank ogles over a shiny red electric guitar, Gerard looks over at ray. He finds Ray already looking at him. “Mx.?” Gerard mouths in confusion. 

Ray furrows his brow and shrugs slightly in response. “No idea.”

“Ray?” Frank pipes up. “Do you think you could teach me to play T.V. Party?

Ray looks at his friend. “Dude, of course!” He smiles widely.

“I wanna see you play first. I thought the guitar in your house was your dad’s, so I didn’t think you played.”

Ray shifts a little. “It, uh, was my sister’s.” Before Frank can respond he starts to play some riffs.

His fingers slither up and down the neck, while his other hand is strumming a simple pattern, but the array of chords make it sound much more complicated than he makes it. Frank watches in awe at the skill Ray shows.

“D’you think that I could do that? With enough practice?” Frank asks, and Ray nods, but otherwise continues to focus on his playing.

During this, Samantha had wandered back over to Mikey. Having overheard Frank and Ray, she looks at Mikey. “Could you help me get better at bass?” she asks.

Mikey doesn’t respond. He starts to play a riff, caught up in the feeling of finally having a bass in his hands again. Ray, hearing Mikey play, starts to play over top of the bass line. The strings blur on Ray’s guitar while Mikey’s hands slide up and down the neck like it’s covered in grease.

At the notice of a new addition, Mikey breaks out of his bubble and beams at Ray, who’s smiling like a wild man right back at him. The more they play, the more in sync they get. Frank, Samantha, and Gerard watch the pair play, listening only to the other’s instrument.

Samantha shifts around slightly. “So, Mikey, where did you learn to play?” she asks, but Mikey doesn’t seem to register that someone is speaking to him.

Right then, Ray’s hand slides up to the top of the neck, letting one long booming note ring out. Mikey looks over with an approving beam and proceeds to give the solo of his life. It’s full of energy, unlike Mikey himself. He puts all of his strength and heart into it. His hands move up and down the strings like fire, low notes filling the room, and thrumming through his body. As he finishes and the adrenaline of playing starts to wear off, Mikey hears Ray start to play a solo of his own.

It’s a sight that makes him feel like he’s intruding on something, but at the same time can’t bring himself to look away. Ray’s thumb strums at an impeccable pace, making it look effortless after years of practice. His eyes flutter shut at some point, getting lost in the feel and the rhythm. He’s on his own, locked away in his own mind, ignoring the world around him. Both hands are moving at an incredible speed, it’s as graceful a ballerina, but just as wild as a raging hurricane.

Ray’s hair brushes around his neck and shoulders with each brash head turn. The part of his lips grows wider as he exerts more energy. He grows increasingly powerful like it’s the guitar that gives him his life source. Mikey watches as his fingers fly across the frets, his hair flies about, the way his eyes are closed the entire time. Mikey wishes he could see more. He wants to listen to Ray playing his guitar all the time.

“Hey, lunch is finishing soon. We should stop and pack up,” Samantha interrupts, causing Ray to suddenly stop his playing. Mikey barely holds back the sudden need to snarl at her.

“Yeah, sure,” Ray says with a soft smile, adjusting back to the room. He sets the guitar delicately back onto the stand like it’s a priceless gem. Mikey takes the bass back to its respective stand and gently puts it back, longing to have played longer.

Once everything remotely expensive is out of harm’s way, Frank jumps onto Ray, causing him to stumble back. “Why didn’t you tell me you were that good!? You should play guitar, like, all the time!”

It’s clear Ray wasn’t expecting any compliments, so he just awkwardly laughs. “Um, I didn’t think it was anything special.”

“But, you guys did that on the spot. That’s pretty awesome,” Gerard admits, half smiling at Mikey. Mikey blinks back, wondering why Gerard is looking at him.

“You were great Mikey!” Samantha says, closer to Mikey than he remembers.

“Uh, thank you,” he mumbles, stepping away slightly. “Ray, you, um, you were really, uh, good,” he stutters, avoiding looking at Ray all together.

“Thanks,” Ray responds quietly as he finishes packing his backpack.

“Before you go,” a voice pipes up, it’s Mx. Kloppenburg, risen from their chair. “The staff and I are going to be planning the talent show to be sometime in December. I think you two could get in if you tried out.”

Mikey shakes his head, holding his glasses with the tips of his fingers. “No, I- I can’t p- per… play in front of everyone. Sorry.”

Mx. Kloppenburg smiles. “No, it’s fine,” they assure before turning to Ray. “Would you be interested?”

“Maybe…” Ray admits, raking his bitten nails up and down the arm of his blazer.

Mx. Kloppenburg nods. “Well, if you ever want to practice, the music room is open at lunch and before and after school. You can use the guitars here too if you need them,” they assure. 

Ray is about to assure them he won’t be needing any guitars since he has an acoustic at his home when Frank takes the opportunity instead. “Can you play?”

They smile sweetly at him and laugh. “Yeah, I had to learn a bit of everything in college.”

“Could you teach me then?!” Frank practically yells.

Mx. Kloppenburg flips through a few sheets on their desk before looking back at him. “Are you in my music class?”

“Um, no, I, um… I’m taking language and computer science,” he mumbles.

“What’s your name?”

“Frank. Uh, Frank Iero.”

“Well, if you’re free on Tuesdays after school, I could fit you in for about half an hour,” they say, sifting through more papers cluttered on the desk.

Frank nods. “Um, yeah, that should, uh, that should work.” He’s clearly more nervous than before, but no one says anything about it.

“Alright.” Mx. Kloppenburg looks at Frank. “See you Tuesday,” they confirm with a smile. The bell rings signaling the end of lunch.

“Where are you guys headed?” Frank asks as they all leave the classroom.

“Math,” Mikey deadpans and he walks to the staircase of death.

“Oh, I’m headed downstairs too. Biology.” Samantha smiles.

“So am I!” Frank bounces over to Mikey. Samantha follows them down the staircase and Ray and Gerard are left alone.

Ray looks over at Gerard with his lip squished to one side of his face, realizing he’s never been alone with him before. “Where are you going?”

Gerard thinks for a moment. “Cooking, I think. You?”

“Oh.” Ray blinks. “So am I.”

Gerard nods. “Cool, cool. So, uh, should we walk there?”

“Sure…” is all he can come up with.

The two walk side by side through the halls in search of the classroom in relative silence, just absorbing one another’s presence.

[polyamorous-selfinserts]

case #0091104 - almost dead

trigger warnings: mentions of death, drowning, suicide, cutting, explosions, fire, depression

jon finds a tape in the archives that looks familiar...what will he learn about the archive’s resident teenager?

tagging @astralshipper @shippin-in-the-rain @grimms-heart @ghostlyvenus​ cause i’m super proud of this! 

this takes place during season two, but there’s not any major spoilers. just jon being paranoid, plus mentions of michael becoming the distortion.

Recorder clicks on

Jon: Found this tape under a box in the archives. It’s, uh, it looks like one of Gertrude’s tapes, but the handwriting....that’s Charlie’s I think. I guess I knew sh- they were here before I was, but…

Jon: Could they have killed Gertrude? I suppose it's possible. They would’ve been, what? Thirteen, fourteen?

Jon: I found this about a week ago, and I’ve been watching them. They spend a lot of time in the archives. I don’t think they go home. Come to think of it, I don’t even know where they live. I tried asking Elias - I couldn’t find the information in any of our records - but apparently they don’t work at the Institute. Which is, uh, alarming, to say the least.

Long exhale

Jon: God, I…

Recorder clicks off

Tape player clicks on

A low voice with an American accent. Probably 16-25, female?

Voice: Uh, hello? This is Charlie Finn. I uh...well I guess I’m kind of an archival assistant? Not officially though. Over my dead body, Elias.

Exhale, snort of laughter

Charlie: I’m uh, I’m making a statement, I guess? I think I’m already in more of these than Ger- uh - Gerard, but uh, I’ve never actually made one so…

Rustling of papers

Charlie: Statement of Charlie Finn, regarding...um, their life, almost-death, and subsequent paranormal existence.

Deep inhale

Charlie: So, uh, I uh, I tried to kill myself when I was eleven. Jumped into the Thames tied to a cinder block. Guess I should’ve tied the rope tighter, or maybe skipped swim team, cause the knot came undone. It was cold. Late February. When you’re drowning, you go into a panic - but there’s this point, at the end, where it’s so peaceful...you can almost see it - the end. I don’t remember not dying. I had almost reached that point, where I just...wouldn’t be. And then I was breaking the surface of the water. I - I tried again. Tied the rope tighter. But my hands were shaking so much. I couldn’t tie it fast enough, and dawn was coming. People had started to wake up - I guess one of them saw me jump in this time.

They take a shaky breath

Charlie: I could barely see - the edges of my vision were going - but I fought against his hands. He was an EMT, going in for the early shift. White guy, college age. When he pulled me to the bank of the river, I realized he’d - uh - (humorously) he’d pulled the cinderblock up with him. Couldn’t get the knot undone, I guess, so he just pulled me out, and the block came with it. I think he gave me CPR - not sure, I was kinda out of it. There was a crowd around me when I came to - of course there was, but, uh, they looked so concerned - (huff of laughter) - the ambulance arrived, and they asked all the questions - finally it came to the one I was dreading - my parents.

Charlie: I guess I should back up a bit. Some background info. That’s how these usually start. Um, so my parents are both teachers - we had moved to London when I was maybe ten? Not long before this happened. I hated changing schools, but my parents got really good jobs at some schools - my mom was offered the principal position at a private school - and my dad was offered a position as a child psychologist at some elementary schools. My sister was too young to really get it, but I hated my new school. All the kids were rich - and honestly, I preferred American homophobia. Anyway, this school was maybe five blocks from the Magnus Institute. Or, is. (humorously) It’s not like it’s just gone and disappeared, now is it.

Charlie: Peter Lukas doesn’t like me that much.

Charlie: So, um, yeah. My relationship with my parents has never been great. My mom’s downright emotionally abusive, and my dad...well he just… he doesn’t really have a backbone. My mom’s always been high strung, and I know she wants the best for me, but...the best to her isn’t something I can do. My dad tried his best to defend me against my mom’s criticism, but, I mean, he had his own critique for me.

Charlie: I’ve uh….I’ve never been the skinniest of people. And I’ve got narcolepsy - which means I sleep a lot. My dad - he’s one of those people who, just, well. He doesn’t understand disabilities. Like, I mean, he understands them, obviously, but he doesn’t really get that sometimes, I just can’t do stuff. So he pressured me a lot into exercising and not eating a ton.

They take a shaky breath

Charlie: So, I um, I was depressed, obviously. And therapy in central London isn’t exactly easy to come by. I was cutting, but that was - that wasn’t because I wanted to die. It was more for control. I could control that. (inhale) I um, I made the decision when my friend, um - I had a crush on him. His name was Nathaniel. He um, he stopped talking to me, just after my birthday. He just...never texted me back.

Charlie: I somehow got it into my mind that he - um, that I’d like, done something? To make him leave me. Which, I mean, I think that’s dumb. Sometimes people just leave, but my brain decided it must be my fault. So I, um. I jumped into the Thames.

Charlie: So yeah. Um, the ambulance people asked for my parents phone number and I just - I couldn’t deal with that right now. I just - (humorless laugh) - I told them my parents were dead. They didn’t know how to respond for a second, but they asked if I had someone else to contact. At this point, I’d visited the Institute a few times and met Gertrude. I was doing a school project on, like, local businesses, and I thought it would be cool to do the Institute. Gertrude had helped with a bit of the project - she was head Archivist after all. Looking back on it, I think she probably did it cause she has this sixth-sense about people who’ve been marked. I probably walked in that first day marked up to the wazoo for the End, and she took an interest in me.

Charlie: Whatever it was, I knew she would at least cover for me. So I told the ambulance staff to call the Institute, ask Rosie for Gertrude Robinson. They looked alarmed, but maybe half an hour later, I was sitting in a hospital room, Gertrude Robinson acting like she was my grandma.

(laugh)

Charlie: She’s rather convincing, when she needs to be - had a whole act about being a kind old lady. She was all (imitating an old woman) ‘my sweet little Charlie’ (laugh) Knowing what she’s done now, I’m not sure if I should’ve been impressed or afraid…

Charlie: Probably afraid.

Charlie: Anyway, she got me out of there real quick. Since we were in Chelsea - and my parents lived and worked in central London - I wasn’t much afraid of them finding out. It wasn’t in the news - (sarcastically) lucky me - and as far as I know, they never found out. Gertrude walked me home, which was...nice? I don’t know why she did it. Maybe she was actually worried for me. Probably not though.

Charlie: I stopped really going home after that. Or to school. I told my parents I’d got a job, and I was living with a friend. Both sort of true. I emailed my teachers, told them I was in a ward and I would pick up the work I needed to do at the beginning of the week and drop it off on Fridays. People aren’t exactly keen to pry into that sort of stuff, and as long as I got the work in, no one really cared. So I effectively moved into the attic of the Magnus Institute. Elias said it was fine, as long as I wasn’t disruptive. I became a sort of assistant - I took statements, filed them - I was one of the only ones who could understand Gertrude’s system - and looked into some cases for Gertrude. But my real job was in artefact storage.

Charlie: I know people don’t love it there, but I’ve always been interested in them. Gerard says it’s stupid teenage curiosity, but...he’s not my mom. Even if he was, I wouldn’t listen to him. Anyways, my job was to look into the objects that really messed people up. Not gonna go into super specific detail, cause the really bad ones are technically, like, classified or something, but lets just say there’s a reason I hate bugs.

Charlie: This was all fine, and I kind of fell into a routine for a few months. But I started to notice something. When people came in to give statements, I could, kind of, feel something about them. Like they were still going somewhere. The statements I took were always unfinished somehow.

Charlie: It got to a point where Mikey had to stop an interview because I wouldn't stop asking the woman if she was sure that was everything. I didn’t know what was going on, until one day I was walking home from the store - there’s no real food in the Institute fridge so I lived off of microwaved meals mostly - and I felt this pull. It wasn’t, like a literal pull. More like - (sigh) - you know when you’re walking back to bed in the dark and you feel like something’s about to get you, so you, like, throw yourself into bed and pull your covers up. Yeah, well, it felt kinda like that, except...except I was the thing in the dark. I don’t know how long I walked for, but it was after midnight by the time I came to an apartment complex.

Charlie: The women before, who I had been interviewing. She said there was something wrong with her gas pipes, but whenever she asked the landlord to check it out, they said there was nothing wrong. But she kept smelling gas. I could certainly smell it, as I walked up the stairs in a daze. I came to a door, 407. The door was locked, and when I put my hand on it, it burned. But I didn’t flinch - instead I turned the nob and I could hear the lock snap.

Charlie: Inside the apartment looked normal. I walked into a side room and the woman was asleep in her bed. She looked terrified. She asked me why I was here, was I going to kill her?

Charlie: I shook my head. No. I wasn’t going to kill her. But she was going to die. And -

Charlie: And the building, it exploded.

Charlie: I don’t know why I didn’t die, but she certainly did.

Charlie: (laugh) Jude was pretty pissed about that. Said I ‘took’ her sacrifice. Like everything doesn’t already belong to death.

Charlie: It doesn’t happen a lot, anymore, but I could tell when it would happen. I don’t know why the deaths are important. It didn’t happen when (shaky) when Gertrude left Mikey. Though I suppose he’s not really dead...is he.

Charlie: I don’t know. There’s a couple statements that mention me, but I don’t like to read them. It makes me feel guilty. I guess it’s not really my fault - they would’ve died anyway, but…

Charlie: Yeah, so. Um. Statement ends.

Tape player clicks off.

Recorder clicks on

Long, shaky exhale

Jon: Well, that’s, enlightening. I’m going to be honest though, I have more questions than answe -

Door opening

Charlie: Jon! Hey, I’ve got a question about this case, I think you might’ve misfiled it cause Martin said - 

Jon: Um, actually I was -

Charlie: Oh, are you recording right now, sorry! What’s this statement about?

Footsteps, sounds of shuffling papers. Charlie’s voice is much closer to the recorder now.

Charlie: Is that a tape? One of Gertrude’s? I thought the police had taken them all?

Jon: (fumbling) No, um, it’s -

Charlie: Wait, is...is that my tape Jon?

Jon: I mean - well - yes - but I - oh god - I just, I didn’t think -

Charlie: (cruelly) No, you didn’t think, did you Jon. (voice breaking) I hope you’re happy, now you know. I defended you, you know. Tim’s been so pissy and I - (voice cracks) I wanted to believe you weren’t that type of person but…

Jon: Charlie--

Charlie: No. I’m… don’t talk to me Jon. I don’t want to hear it.

Loud footsteps, door slams

Jon: Shit.

Recorder clicks off.

[ilistenedin]

1. favorite dessert?

Uh I do t think I have a favorite tbh, I’m not too into sweets. I do like Publix cake. And Nutella. And fruits.

2. if you could have your hair dyed any color you wanted, which color would you choose?

I wanna dye my hair peach. Cause it’s buzzed. So it would be peach fuzz 🍑

3. favorite fictional character?

It’s impossible for me to choose just one. I love Raven from Teen Titans, Asajj Ventress, Beverly Marsh, Ellen Ripley, and uhhhh Jules from Euphoria.

4. do you swear a lot?

I feel like I curse moderately

5. favorite disney film?

Lion King

6. favorite youtube channel?

Not a channel, but a show; Unhhhh

7. who's your favorite person on the planet?

Probably my sister

8. which color do you wear the most?

Black

9. do you have any pets?

Yes; two cats

10. favorite horror film?

I don’t have a favorite, but some that I love and never get tired of; Hereditary, Midsommar, Alien (the whole franchise), IT (both chapters and the original made for TV movie ), Evil Dead (specifically the remake, don’t hate me), and uhhhh The Exorcist.

11. how many languages can you speak?

2; English and Spanish

12. favorite band?

My Chemical Romance

13. what's your spirit animal?

I asked my sister and she said “a sloth. Or a bear.”

14. do you prefer to watch movies online or go to the theatre?

Theatre

15. show a sample of your handwriting.

I don’t want to lol

16. have you ever visited another country?

Yes; Bahamas and the Philippines

17. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?

Ha. I have like, 20 dollars in my bank account.

18. do you know how to sing or play an instrument?

I have been told I can sing (I do t like the sound of my own voice), and I can play the drums and a little guitar.

19. what do you wear to sleep?

Sports bra and boxers

20. have you ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

A q-tip?

21. when was the last time you cried?

I think last week

22. do you like ghosts or skeletons better?

I like them both the same I think

23. what food are you usually craving?

Hot Pot

24. be honest, do you masturbate?

Yes

25. what kind of phone do you have?

iPhone 11

26. what was the last song you listened to?

Telepatia by Kali Uchis

27. what's your favorite object in your room?

My bed

28. do you like claymation or cgi better?

No preference

29. how would you describe your style?

Comfortable

30. have you thought about sex in the last 24 hours?

Yes

31. are you tired right now?

No

32. favorite sea creature?

Great White Shark

33. favorite flower?

Roses and peonies

34. would you ever get a tattoo?

Yes, already have

35. what's the riskiest thing you've ever done?

I’m not a risk taker

36. which social media site do you use the most?

Twitter

37. favorite decade?

80’s and 90’s

38. are you a feminist?

Yes

39. would you say you sleep too much?

Yes

40. how many piercings do you have?

Stretched lobes, cartilage, nose, septum, and tongue

41. what's the last thing you bought online?

I don’t even remember tbh.

42. are you an introvert or an extrovert?

Introvert

43. are you underage?

No

44. which fictional character's house would you want to live in?

The Weasleys home

45. what did you dress up as for halloween last year?

Pugsley Addams

46. what's something you want for your birthday?

Nothing comes to mind

47. have you ever skipped a class while in school?

Oh yeah

48. have you ever gone skinny dipping?

Nope

49. do you ever get zits?

Yes

50. have you ever sent a nude photo?

Yes

51. are you religious?

No

52. what's your ringtone?

Some generic iPhone ringtone

53. would you rather go to a zoo or an aquarium?

Aquarium

54. how tall are you?

5’7

55. do you like kids?

Not really

56. what are some of your pet peeves?

People with no spacial awareness, people who chew loudly/smack their lips when they eat/chew with their mouths open. Pinching. Rudeness.

57. would you say you have a popular blog?

Not anymore lol

58. last thing you ate?

Pizza

59. waffles or pancakes?

No preference

60. favorite fruit?

Peaches

61. are you in any physical pain right now?

Not extreme pain, but I am having some dental issues

62. what is your gender identity?

That’s a complicated question that I am currently avoiding thinking of

63. shoe size?

My real size is a 9 in women’s, but I usually go a size up and wear men’s shoes. Cause I feel like my feet look small lol

64. last concert you went to?

Taking Back Sunday

65. if you could have one superpower, what would it be?

Telekinesis

66. could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?

Probably not

67. favorite singer?

Gerard Way

68. how old are you?

28

69. what's something you know a lot about?

Modern cannibalism, sharks, serial killers, horror movies

70. which of your tumblr friends have you known the longest?

I have no idea

71. what color was your hair in 2013?

Black

72. cake or pie?

Publix cake

73. are you a hopeless romantic?

I don’t think so

74. would you kiss the person in your icon?

It’s an avatar of me, no I would not kiss myself

75. what were you doing at 12 in the morning?

Probably on my phone

76. can you draw well?

Decently

[gasolineghuleh]

Fine bitch DO THEM ALL

A - If I’m in love.

Duh

B - Who the last person I talked to on the phone was.

Uhh... my dentists office?

C - How long it’s been since I’ve kissed.

A year

D - If I have a preference for boys or girls.

I lean towards boys

E - How many holes I have in my ears.

0.

F - Give me any options, like ‘hot or cold?’

I prefer to be cold

G - The last person I said ‘I love you’ to.

YOU

H - The last person I hugged.

My mom

I - The last time I felt jealous, and why.

I walked past some bell peppers being spritzed at the grocery store this morning.

J - Are you insecure. What about?

Ye, I’m blind as fuck and sometimes when my glasses are off my eyes cross cause I can’t see shit and it makes me look stupider than I am.

K - What my full name is.

Get fucked NSA, it’s Missus Lorraine Possum, Esq.

L - If I have siblings.

Naw

M - If I forgive betrayal.

Naw

N - If you want to know how I treat my friends.

Pretty fucking well.

O - If I like my school.

If I could do it for a living, I would. I thrive in a classroom.

P - What kind of music I like.

Rock, pop punk, emo, metal, thrash, doom metal....

Q - What the last party I went to was, and when the next will be.

Uh.. My 16th birthday party? I was the only one there. Does that answer it?

R - For me to tell 10 of my curiosities.

I’m just gonna list my fixations. 

Ghost, MCR, skulls, Repo!, the human body, eastern religion, catholicism, the Bible and beliefs/implications of the text itself, aliens built the earth, ancient Egypt. 

S - 2 habits.

I sleep with my legs crossed.

I spin my rings.

T - 5 things I love unconditionally.

You beetch

Ghost

Peanut butter and chocolate

Receiving hand written letters

Soft and warm blanket burritos on a cold winter night.

U - How many texts I send daily.

About 100?

V - 3 big dreams.

Make it as an author

Sing live again

Publish an article in justice

W - An idol.

Gerard Way

X - If I’ve done something I regret very much.

Nah

Y - If I like my town and why.

It’s decent. We’re like Southern Portland. Hippies with better food. Align your chakras with some fried chicken. 

Z - Ask any question you want.

You asked for a weird fact so uh. I have a permanent piece of wire behind my two front teeth. You can feel if you French kiss me.

[soveryanon]

Reviewing time for MAG162!

- I was feeling The Lack Of Tim (And Sasha) in season 4, the lack of mourning and/or plain… things making me feel that these characters had been in the series before? And I am spoiled rotten by this season so far <3

More duos, more… dead people. MAG161 had the birthday party, which, at least, featured Elias (who is still (?) sadly around somewhere, alive and kicking) and Jon&Martin, but overall, so many dead people: Tim&Sasha amongst the group of MAG161 and starring for themselves in MAG162, Gertrude&Leitner in MAG161, Gertrude&Gerry in MAG162. Gertrude was the only character to die-die before the start of the show, Gerry being an intermediary case – we’ve lost so many people? Sasha, Leitner, Gerry-as-the-memory-in-the-book, Tim… I don’t know if we’ll get many more tapes with glimpses from the past, under-Jon’s-radar moments, but I really appreciated what we got to begin the season with? It’s indeed anchoring, a reminder of what has been lost, what led to this?

(Jon mentioned “a few of them” tapes in MAG161, so there could be more, or no, and I’d be fine with it! But if more: Agnes? Gertrude&og!Elias? Gertrude&James Wright? Gertrude&Elias just after Jonah had taken over his body, since Gertrude mentioned this is when she understood what was up? Gertrude&Adelard, if they’ve found the right VA since the Q&A? Gertrude&Jan Kilbride about The Vast and The Buried, since she had apparently interrupted his written statement? Gertrude&Emma? Gertrude&Jon, since we know that Jon had met her? Elias&Jon, when Jon was hired at the Institute or offered the Head Archivist position? Elias&Martin for roughly the same? Sasha&Melanie’s discussion about haunted pubs? Melanie&Tim, since Elias had mentioned that they had been talking in season 3?)

- It… was only the second time we were hearing Gerry, but it was the first time we were hearing him caught on tape while he was… still alive. There was no reverse-echo to his sppech. He was there! The real Gerry when he was alive… ;_;

We more or less know when Gertrude&Gerry’s scene happened given that their collaboration was short-lived (ha): Mary gave Gertrude Eric’s page on the 3rd of July 2008 (MAG062); Gertrude used the page on the 21st of July 2008 (MAG154), promising that she would look after Gerry… which she proceeded to not do. Mary bound herself to the book in late September 2008 (MAG004), then proceeded to haunt Gerry for five years before Gertrude made contact and freed him from Mary (MAG111), marking the beginning of their collaboration. Gerry was still alive by the 9th of October 2014 (MAG137), but would die soon after during their trip in America.

(MAG062) GERTRUDE: And do you have any proof of this? Your… “magic book”. MARY: Yeah. [PAPER RUSTLING] You can keep this page. I made sure it was in English. GERTRUDE: Go– Who… who is it? MARY: A surprise, dear. Just make sure you’re alone when you read it.

(MAG154) ERIC: Fine! I… I want two things. GERTRUDE: I’m listening. ERIC: I want you to find my son. If Mary is… if she’s gone, or worse… I want you to make sure he’s alright. GERTRUDE: [HUFF] I’m not exactly a mother figure. ERIC: You could hardly do worse than her. GERTRUDE: Fine. But I don’t know what growing up with Mary has done to him. If he’s… gone rotten, I can’t promise anything. ERIC: I understand. GERTRUDE: I suppose he might be useful. ERIC: Oh, sentimental as ever.

(MAG004, Dominic Swain) “Typing in their names I don’t know what sort of thing it was that I expected to find, but it certainly wasn’t a news article from 2008 about Mary Keay’s murder. Police had broken in late September […].”

(MAG111) GERRY: For the next five years she haunted my life. I did what she asked, but whenever her form faded for a few days, I would take what little revenge I could: I burned books, I covered leads. I occasionally fled to somewhere I thought it’d be hard for her to follow. In the end it was Gertrude who saved me. She came to me when I was desperate, nowhere to go, and she offered to help. […] I think you know the rest. I joined Gertrude’s work for a few years. Didn’t realise how ill I was until it finally caught up with me. Then I died.

(MAG137) GERTRUDE: We still have Dekker’s back-up plan, of course, but… it’s very risky. To be sure, I–I think the detonation would need to happen from within The Unknowing, while it was going on. Gerard may have a connection to The Eye, but I’m not convinced it will be enough. And I will admit I’ve grown… fond of the boy. I wonder, if I told him about Eric – whether he’d follow in his father’s footsteps. Still, that’s not like it kept Eric safe in The End.

Which means this scene happened in 2013–2014.

It’s so weird to think that… since he had been working at the Institute since at least 2012 (maybe 2011), Jon was inside of the building around the time of Gertrude&Gerry’s discussion? He was so close to that world, so close to Gerry?

(Sadly:

(MAG162) GERTRUDE: Eh! [INHALE] You can probably burn it in the back courtyard, if you’re careful. GERRY: Yeah, will do! GERTRUDE: And for goodness’s sake, make sure no one sees you. The last thing we need is a letter to Elias about book-burnings. GERRY: Look, if you have somewhere better to burn these books, then–

… no meet-cute possible in the courtyard while Gerry was burning a book and Jon was there on a smoke break, since Jon had stopped smoking roughly at the time his grandmother died and he joined the Institute. Unless Jon bullshitted about that and kept telling himself and everyone that he had been quit for those five years, while he was actually still smoking a pack or two every week.

But gosh, Jon was probably sneaking his cigarettes in that same courtyard during season 2? It’s probably where he went while Leitner was being pipe-murdered? And Gertrude’s comment… implies that the Institute has neighbours, who could complain about shady things to Elias, I’m love it. They probably saw Jon at his worst in the same courtyard Gerry was regularly burning stuff. Am Emotions.)

- I think just hearing Gerry is doomed to make you feel hopeful about things, because, YES, he died, no, he wasn’t perfect, but he was also one of the most positive characters we encountered in the series, saving a few random people in early statements or begrudgingly giving them tips? So hearing him alive and inquiring and still kicking is Pure Serotonin.

He was hilarious in MAG111 (“I’m a BOOK.” “Dead serious.”), I’m having Feelings again with:

(MAG162) GERTRUDE: They might even stop death entirely, deny us the one last escape; keeping us… alive and afraid – forever. [SILENCE] GERRY: [DEFLATING SIGH] … And taxes? GERTRUDE: Eh! Taxes, I imagine, will continue.

Press F to pay respect to Elias Bouchard, who might still have to pay taxes during the apocalypse.

- I’m crying a bit about Gertrude&Gerry’s exchange because:

(MAG162) GERTRUDE: Wait. Surely, you didn’t bring it here?! GERRY: Well, yeah – I, uh… GERTRUDE: Gerard! We’ve talked about this. Bringing unvetted artefacts or books into the Archive is incredibly dangerous…! GERRY: It’s locked away! GERTRUDE: And I’m sure the lock is very sturdy. But that doesn’t stop it being an unnecessary risk. GERRY: … Yeah, I’m sorry… GERTRUDE: This is exactly the sort of thing that will get you killed. GERRY: I said I was sorry! [SILENCE] GERTRUDE: [SIGH] Then, we’ll say no more about it. [FLIPPING OF PAPERS] I don’t enjoy being hard on you, but I really would rather you stayed broadly intact.

1°) … Gerry shrinking when scolded is a remnant of Mary, uh……………………

2°) Yeaaaaah, Gertrude had mentioned not being a “mother figure” to Eric (MAG154: “I’m not exactly a mother figure.” “You could hardly do worse than her.”)… And Gertrude isn’t, indeed, but it was nearly impossible for Gerry to not feel that she was a bit like Mary, uh? Gerry had acknowledged it to Jon:

(MAG111) ARCHIVIST: Kind of sounds like you didn’t… trust her. GERRY: Yeah, I didn’t. I wanted to, I really did, but it was always the work. Sometimes she just reminded me of my mum. … Did you ever meet her, my mum?

3°) Gerry’s casual mix of respect and irreverence to Gertrude was… reminiscent of Eric’s snark towards her ;_; Gosh, Gerry!!! You took after your dad…

(MAG154) GERTRUDE: Fine. But I don’t know what growing up with Mary has done to him. If he’s… gone rotten, I can’t promise anything. ERIC: I understand. GERTRUDE: I suppose he might be useful. ERIC: Oh, sentimental as ever.

(MAG162) GERRY: I’m touched! You’re going soft in your old age. GERTRUDE: Hm! You are, occasionally, useful. Despite your foolishness. GERRY: Flatterer.

Down to the little bit of reminding Gertrude of her age…

(MAG154) GERTRUDE: Well, it’s… good to see you, I suppose. ERIC: You too. … You got old. GERTRUDE: Better than being dead. ERIC: [HUFF] Fair enough.

(MAG162) GERTRUDE: I rather hope I would have found them by now. I like to think I’m not a complete incompetent. GERRY: Until dementia hits~ GERTRUDE: Given my choice to confide in you, I rather suspect it already has. [FLIPPING OF PAPER] Go burn your book.

I love that small domesticity/casualness? Gertrude had admitted that she had grown “rather fond” of “Gerard” in MAG137 (and she called him “Gerard” still in MAG162: so no, Gerry never regarded her as a friend like he did with Jon), and we could feel it? She was firm and scolding, yet allowing them to talk, explaining how she was proceeding to him, what she thought would happen with a successful apocalypse, warning him against tying himself to the Institute – and yet, not being entirely honest with him, hiding the tunnels&Leitner from him, and… not even telling him about Eric’s page (Gerry had mentioned in MAG111 that he had hoped to find his father’s page in the book, but that there wasn’t any… so he didn’t know that there used to be one but that it had been given to Gertrude, uh?).

It also breaks me a bit how… youthful Gerry sounded? Bantering and impertinent, bold and daring (taking a look into Gertrude’s stuff behind her back!), a bit laid-back, a bit insecure (“What happens if we fail?”), and asking Gertrude for answers that he couldn’t provide, couldn’t fathom, as if she had the infinite knowledge… By this time, Gerry was almost or around 30, I think? And yet he still sounds like an adolescent, and it makes so much sense given how he grew up…

4°) The awkward offer of burning more stuff for Gertrude…

(MAG162) GERRY: You, uh… need anything else burning? GERTRUDE: No, no…! Not right now. [INHALE] I think I’m alright, thank you for the offer.

You polite kid…

5°) I wonder if:

(MAG162) GERRY: What happens if we fail? [FLIPPING OF PAPER] [WOOD CREAKS] GERTRUDE: In… what sense? GERRY: If we miss a ritual, you know. If one of them works. GERTRUDE: Been losing sleep, have you? GERRY: Mh, something like that.

The possible lack of sleep/tiredness/concerns might have been partially linked to Gerry’s cancer developing without him noticing – but his body beginning to let him down a bit…

- I’m laughing hard that the possibility of Gerry getting tied to the Institute was raised:

(MAG162) GERRY: So, do I get to hear them? GERTRUDE: Perhaps. If you live long enough. But somehow I doubt Elias would look favourably on your application. And if I’m being quite honest… GERRY: Yeah – I know, I know. A–and I don’t want your job. GERTRUDE: Believe me, the perks aren’t worth the shackles.

Since… oh boy, Elias really didn’t like this effing family, uh.

(MAG062) GERTRUDE: Why are you here? MARY: To make my statement, of course. I know the Institute and me haven’t always seen eye to eye, as it were, but I thought it was the least I could do. […] Well, they don’t understand up there. They don’t know what this place is. You do, though, don’t you? We’re on the same side, really, even if Elias disagrees. GERTRUDE: If you say so.

(MAG158) ELIAS: And how exactly were you planning on achieving that while you’re still bound to the… ha. Oh, I see. Very clever. [CHUCKLE] I thought Eric was the only one to figure that little morsel out.

Gerry was the son of Friggin’ Mary Keay, and of Eric-The-One-That-Got-Away. No wonder that Elias would not “look favourably” on his application.

… And it’s getting even more hysterical when remembering that Gerry is descended from the VON CLOSEN, ALBRECHT’S FAMILY. ALBRECHT WHOM JONAH HAD SCREWED OVER.

(With the suspicious things about the genealogy: Mary didn’t descend from Albrecht, but from Wilhelm, Albrecht’s nephew… officially. Because there is still the matter that Carla&Albrecht couldn’t have any children in 1816 (MAG023), but Albrecht had two sons by 1831 (MAG127), of age to go to boarding school. Which means they were roughly conceived after MAG023’s events, when Jonah visited to get the books. While Carla hadn’t been able to have any children until then. What I mean is, there is still a little small possibility that Albrecht’s children were adopted by Wilhelm’s branch after his death, and that Gerry is a direct descendant of Albrecht…………… or of Jonah. Because the “can’t have children with my wife, but she got pregnant around the time you visited” is incredibly suspicious. And because it makes me laugh and laugh and laugh to think that Gerry could be Jonah’s biological descendant, the AWKWARDNESS.)

- What Leitner was it about, and what powers?

(MAG162) GERRY: Yeah, yeah. [FLIPPING OF PAPERS] … So, what’s the verdict? GERTRUDE: Hm? GERRY: On The Travels! GERTRUDE: Oh. [RUSTLING OF PAPER] Burn it, I think. You said Mr Hampton was dead? GERRY: Yup! And not peacefully. GERTRUDE: But you hadn’t seen its powers? GERRY: Not directly. GERTRUDE: Well… Given the themes of the original, I doubt it has anything that would be worth the danger.

Gulliver’s? Marco Polo’s? Spiral, Lonely, Vast things?

- Given that Gertrude raised the danger of bringing items to the Archives:

(MAG162) GERTRUDE: Gerard! We’ve talked about this. Bringing unvetted artefacts or books into the Archive is incredibly dangerous…! GERRY: It’s locked away! GERTRUDE: And I’m sure the lock is very sturdy. But that doesn’t stop it being an unnecessary risk.

I still wonder about how they proceed in Artefact Storage? Sasha said it was bad, we know that the original Elias started there, the calliope was stored there (until it was stolen), Jon gave them the Coffin during season 4… what means of protection do they use?

(Accidents still happen, if Salesa’s letter from MAG115 is any indication, but it’s impressive that the Institute is still standing while containing so many dangerous things?)

- Gotta love how Gertrude’s arson streak has been put to the foreground this season:

(MAG161) GERTRUDE: Paper burns well. [GURGLING LIQUID] Petrol burns… better. LEITNER: Aha! I always forget about your pyromaniac streak. GERTRUDE: Mm. Remind me to tell you about Agnes, sometime…!

(MAG162) GERRY: And when in doubt… GERTRUDE: Well, quite. [FLIPPING OF PAPER] GERRY: Can I use your wastepaper bin? […] GERTRUDE: You can probably burn it in the back courtyard, if you’re careful. GERRY: Yeah, will do! GERTRUDE: And for goodness’s sake, make sure no one sees you. The last thing we need is a letter to Elias about book-burnings. […] GERRY: You, uh… need anything else burning?

And Gerry didn’t know what she had in store for The Stranger (the plastic explosive) but had described how she had looked while thinking about it and:

(MAG111) ARCHIVIST: But you don’t know what it is? GERRY: No. When I asked her she said she’d show me when we got back to London. Mind you, she had this weird look in her eyes, like it was some kind of a joke. ARCHIVIST: I mean… it wasn’t, w–was it? A–A joke. GERRY: I don’t think so. Gertrude didn’t make jokes.

Gerry is the same as Martin when it comes to Just Little Archivist Jokes, uh.

- Regarding how Gerry was planning to burn his book, would it involve the lighter with the Eye that was described in MAG012?

(MAG012, Lesere Saraki) “the younger man had only a Zippo lighter with an eye design on it similar to the one tattooed all over him and an old passport that identified him as Gerard Keay.”

We still don’t know what happened to that one… Plus, Gerry had lost a few items around that time too, and we never learned if they had been destroyed in his fight against Diego Molina nor what they were supposed to do:

(MAG012, Lesere Saraki) “After a few seconds of awkward silence, Gerard spoke. He asked me if the paramedics had brought any items in with them. Specifically, he was after a small book bound in red leather and a brass pendant he had been wearing. He didn’t say what design had been on the pendant but I guessed it had been an eye. I told him that neither of those things had been brought in with him, and he was quiet for a long time.”

(The book was Diego’s, we know from Basira. Regarding the pendant, I’m still wondering if it was a gift from Eric, but it was never mentioned again…)

- NO WONDER that Jon starts rewinding the tape to listen again and again to Gertrude saying that she didn’t think there was a way to revert an apocalypse…

(MAG162) GERRY: Could it be undone? [SILENCE] [WOOD CREAKS] GERTRUDE: [SIGH] … No. I don’t think so. Once an entity… fully manifested, I doubt it would be keen to relinquish its grip on realit– [CLICK.] [APOCALYPSE SOUNDSCAPING] [FIREPLACE CRACKLING IN THE BACKGROUND] [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] [TAPE IS REWOUND] [CLICK–] GERTRUDE: … No. I don’t think so. Once an– [CLICK.] [APOCALYPSE SOUNDSCAPING] [FIREPLACE CRACKLING IN THE BACKGROUND] [TAPE IS REWOUND] [CLICK–] GERTRUDE: No. I don’t think so. [CLICK.] [APOCALYPSE SOUNDSCAPING] [FIREPLACE CRACKLING IN THE BACKGROUND] [TAPE IS REWOUND] [CLICK–] GERTRUDE: I don’t think so. [CLICK.] [APOCALYPSE SOUNDSCAPING] [FIREPLACE CRACKLING IN THE BACKGROUND] [LONG WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] [CLICK–] GERTRUDE: Once an entity… fully manifested, I doubt it would be keen to relinquish its grip on reality. And as for those unlucky enough to survive its rule… I don’t think they would be in a state to do anything about it.

[…] MARTIN: Do you think it’ll do anything? Confronting Elias? ARCHIVIST: [INHALE] I… [SIGH] Maybe? MARTIN: No, I’m serious. Do we… [PAUSE IN THE PACKING SOUNDS] Is there a chance that we can undo this? ARCHIVIST: [LONG INHALE] Gertrude didn’t think so. [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] MARTIN: … Right. ARCHIVIST: [SOFT] But she’s dead. [FIRMER] Let’s find out for ourselves.

… Since she had just lied through her teeth to Gerry about the tunnels.

(MAG162) GERRY: Look, if you have somewhere better to burn these books, then– GERTRUDE: Of course, Gerard…! I just happened not to mention the network of sinister tunnels that snake beneath the Archive, where I keep all my darkest secrets…! GERRY: I mean, you joke, but there could be. It’s that kind of place! GERTRUDE: I rather hope I would have found them by now. I like to think I’m not a complete incompetent. GERRY: Until dementia hits~ GERTRUDE: Given my choice to confide in you, I rather suspect it already has.

The scene happened in 2013-2014. However, she was already collaborating with Leitner (who had been using the tunnels following the destruction of his library) since around 2011, and we know that she did burn books down there at some point:

(MAG080) ARCHIVIST: And why was Gertrude helping you? LEITNER: Aside from my knowledge about the books? I think she was lonely. I didn’t meet her until about six years ago, after she’d lost the last of her own assistants. She would mention them sometimes. I believe she missed having someone to talk to on occasion.

(MAG004, Dominic Swain) “The only thing I found that looked even remotely relevant was a listing on eBay from 2007. The auction was titled “Key of Solomon 1863 owned by MacGregor Mathers and Jurgen Leitner” and had been won for just over £1200 by a deactivated user – grbookworm1818.”

(MAG080) ARCHIVIST: Like The Key of Solomon? LEITNER: That one was a mistake. I thought that, in the tunnels, there might be the stability to examine it properly, learn something of the forces arrayed against us. But it went wrong. We had to destroy it. I should have known, really. It was one of the few volumes that contained elements of several different powers.

(MAG070) ARCHIVIST: But, shortly after I started exploring the second level, I found something. It was a room, empty except for three wooden chairs. It looked like there had previously been more, but they had been smashed. Based on the scorch marks in the corner, I think I know what they were used for. The ashes were old, impossible to tell what they might have been before they were burned, except for the small scraps of old paper dotted around the floor. I think someone tore up a book and then burned it. There was only one scrap large enough to decipher anything legible: “They have for adversaries the Satariel, or concealers, the Demons of absurdity, of intellectual inertia, and of Mystery.” That answers the question of what happened to the copy of The Key of Solomon that Gertrude bought. But if she only bought it to destroy it, why down there? There seemed no especial significance to the room, except that it contained some old wooden furniture.

(We don’t know if she had burned books down there before Gerry’s suggestion… but eh, it’s Gertrude, she just LIED TO HIS FACE about the tunnels under the Institute, it was probably a habit already.)

It makes sense for Gerry to think tunnels sound reasonable, since he had experience with them (he knew things about Smirke, he had been there during the rediscovery of the tunnels under Pall Mall in MAG035); it makes sense for Gertrude to prevent Leitner and Gerry from interacting, since Gerry had a Grudge (and beat him up without being convinced that it was him)… I’m just laughing so hard again that GERTRUDE did Gertrude things and just lied so blatantly and fiercely.

It sounds, after the rewinding, like Jon thinks that she was being truthful about her opinions on the impossibility of reversing the apocalypse, given what he told Martin afterwards – was he trying to use his powers to detect a lie? Personally, I’m not convinced that Gertrude thought that it couldn’t be undone, or that she didn’t have any idea for a back-up plan if necessary, since… anyway, she was shown lying. And even Elias seemed to think that she might have an idea against The Dark:

(MAG160, Jonah Magnus) “When I saw that she was making no preparations whatsoever to stop it, I realised she was putting into practice a theory – and one she couldn’t afford to be wrong. She was going to wait, and see if the unopposed ritual succeeded, or if it collapsed under its own strain, as mine had all those years ago. Knowing Gertrude, I’m sure she had a backup plan if she had miscalculated; but she had not. The ritual failed.”

(MAG161) GERTRUDE: If my guess is right, the Church’s ritual should be collapsing at any time now, so… immediately. LEITNER: And if you’re wrong? GERTRUDE: Then a bit of gas will be the least of our worries.

So they could still find something left shortly before her death, about the seed of an idea. Maybe not! I’d be fully satisfied if the tonality of the end of MAG162 is to be taken this way: that no, Gertrude didn’t think there was a way, but that Jon&Martin are leaving her shadow and pushing further, and will find something, since they are still alive and can still discover and invent things. It might not be what they expect, it might make things worse; it will still be them trying and doing something that Gertrude couldn’t have done.

- … Gertrude made excellent guesses as to how the apocalypse would probably unravel, since it’s… what Jon&Martin seem to be experiencing:

(MAG162) GERTRUDE: … If we are lucky, then that failure will also mean our deaths. GERRY: You don’t think they can reach us after death? GERTRUDE: I suppose that depends on your religious beliefs. [WOOD CREAKS] Personally, I suspect death puts us beyond their power; either because we find ourselves in… some kind of afterlife, or because we simply… “cease to be”. GERRY: … Yeah, I guess. GERTRUDE: And I am certain that either scenario is preferable to lingering in a world they control. [INHALE] They’re… already able to circumvent physics, and suspend natural laws. If one were to – genuinely – press through, I suspect they would rewrite them wholesale; most likely making them… utterly incomprehensible to any survivors. They, they might still need us human enough to be afraid, but beyond that… Let’s just surmise that petty rules like space or time would be unlikely to factor into the proceedings. They might even stop death entirely, deny us the one last escape; keeping us… alive and afraid – forever. […] Once an entity… fully manifested, I doubt it would be keen to relinquish its grip on reality. And as for those unlucky enough to survive its rule… I don’t think they would be in a state to do anything about it.

1°) Time and space have indeed been affected (the statement number cases are still a succession of #, the cabin stopped being neutral, Martin’s impression of Jon about the maps highlighted that space isn’t objective anymore either); humans are indeed kept alive without needing to eat, people outside seem to not be dying:

(Season 5 trailer) MARTIN: How are you feeling today? ARCHIVIST: [LONG INHALE] Define… “today”. [CREAKING SOUND] MARTIN: “How are you feeling in general”, then? ARCHIVIST: … Unchanged. [PAUSE] I don’t know if it’ll ever change again…! [MIRTHLESS CHUCKLE]

(MAG161) MARTIN: You should get some sleep. [CREAKING SOUND] ARCHIVIST: I… [SIGH] can’t. I–I–I can’t, I–I don’t think I do anymore… “Sleep”. [EXHALE] How long’s it been, now? MARTIN: I don’t know. It’s not like there are days to count anymore. All the clocks have stopped, and… [DISTANT HOWL] ARCHIVIST: Well, I haven’t yet. I get… tired, but it doesn’t feel the same. [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] Probably for the best. Sleep doesn’t look… pleasant. MARTIN: Nnno, it’s… it’s not. […] What about food? ARCHIVIST: What about it? When’s the last time you thought to eat, o–or even felt hungry? MARTIN: [FAINT] What…? Wha… Uh… I don’t know. ARCHIVIST: No. Whatever is sustaining us now doesn’t need us to eat. MARTIN: That… that can’t be possible– ARCHIVIST: It’s a new world, Martin, the natural laws are whatever they want them to be. And I suspect they don’t much care to keep humanity fed and watered.

(MAG162) ARCHIVIST: “The land outside is warped and twisted by the touch of those things that feed on your suffering, and behind those rough wooden planks, [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] it seems they cannot reach you. […] If you had need to eat, no doubt there would be food; if you had need to sleep, no doubt the beds would be welcoming. [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] But you have need of neither […] Heavy drops fall, ice-cold and laced with salt; tears of voyeuristic delight from The Eyes that see and drink in all – it sinks into the dry cracked ground, and from the mud faces struggle to push themselves free and breathe. They cannot breach the surface, as the slick soil flows down their throats. […] Throw another log on the fire and curl up close. There are always more logs for the fire here.” […] MARTIN: And, I found some rope in the attic, and I packed that with the maps. ARCHIVIST: [CHUCKLING] Uh, Martin, I… MARTIN: No, no; I, I know what you’re going to say. [RUMMAGING] “What good are maps when the very Earth has…” and blah blah blah… ARCHIVIST: W– Uh, yes– MARTIN: But I’ve, I’ve packed them anyway because you never know. ARCHIVIST: Martin, I… MARTIN: I, I actually, eh! I actually found a stash of tea under the kitchen sink– ARCHIVIST: [FOND CHUCKLE] MARTIN: I–I realise, we don’t need to eat or – whatever, but, you know, that doesn’t mean that we won’t… ARCHIVIST: Yes – yes, yes…! It’s… alright. Alright.

The only thing Gertrude doesn’t seem to have factored in is about the Archivist themselves (“making [the law of physics]… utterly incomprehensible to any survivors. […] as for those unlucky enough to survive its rule… I don’t think they would be in a state to do anything about it.”): Jon was able to see through the thing-that-wasn’t-tea’s deceit in the trailer, and through the cabin’s in this episode – deconstructing the way the cabin was functioning… to free himself from its influence. That was a very Beholding thing, matching Jane Prentiss’s rant about The Eye (MAG032: “I see now why the hive hates you. You can see it and log it and note its every detail but you can never understand it. You rob it of its fear even though your weak words have no right to do so.”). There is at least one person who has the potential “to do [something] about it”, and probably more (what about Georgie? What about plain mundane non-main characters?).

- OUFFTTT, once again, that Gertrude was very conscious that the Powers subject people to a fate worse than death… and would still make the choice of binding Gerry to the book, even though she also knew from Eric that it was an awful state of (not-)being.

(MAG154) GERTRUDE: … What’s it like? Being… bound to the book. ERIC: I don’t know how to describe it…! Never was great with words. Bad. It feels… bad. All the time. I know that I’m not really “Eric”, I’m just a… memory someone wrote down. It hurts, most of the time. I don’t like it.

(MAG111) GERRY: It hurts. Being like this. And it’s not like any pain you can feel when you’re alive. It’s… it hurts to exist. To be dead and still here.

The big irony that Gerry should have died “naturally”, and was ready to cease to exist… and that Gertrude, of all people, forbade him to do so. Technically, there is still the mystery of why… Gertrude did it and left him behind in America, as Gerry pointed out:

(MAG111) GERRY: I think… I think I finally understand why she brought me back. I just don’t understand why she left me behind.

Was it to leave a trail of breadcrumbs for her successor? Was she fearing that, if she were to die (by Elias’s hand or someone else’s), Elias would get his hands on the page and destroy it if it was kept at the Institute? (And why did Gertrude allow Gerry so close to her while he was covered in eyes? She knew about Jonah’s trick already (Eric knew about it from when they were working together), and Elias knew that Gerry&Gertrude had worked together (as he was keeping MAG102’s statement and gave it to Jon only when Jon revealed that he now “knew” about their collaboration). Gertrude accused Gerry of taking risks, yet she took… so many, with him…)

- With the description of the people buried alive outside of the cabin, and Gerry&Gertrude’s talk about death being denied in the world of fear… that puts The End on the foreground again, too. Does that aspect of the blob of terrors get its fill with the agony of not dying, and with the fear of living without being able to die? Or did it draw the shorter straw in the new world?

- YYYYYYYYAAAYYYY, I was suspecting it but! Finally, confirmation about Gertrude’s use of the tape recorders, when she was and wasn’t using them! Jon had wondered for so long!

(MAG041) ARCHIVIST: Even when the police finally found Gertrude’s body, they took it, chair and all, as well as all the tapes. “Evidence”, they said, and they might be right, though I don’t envy them the task of going through all of them. There must have been hundreds. … No. I suppose in some way I do envy them. They are an insight into my predecessor’s time here; something I desperately want to know more about. Whatever’s on them, it must be important, because… either she chose to hide them down here or… whoever killed her did.

(MAG044) ARCHIVIST: I will admit to some disappointment it doesn’t address any of my more… pressing questions about Gertrude’s tapes. Why did she begin recording them, and why stop? If she’d been doing so right up until her death, she would have likely gotten through much of the archive […].

(MAG087) ARCHIVIST: I had assumed Gertrude had recorded to tape for a while and then stopped, but it seems she was recording them right up until the end. But if they did span decades of working at the Institute, why aren’t there more? And what decided which statements she transferred?

(MAG162) GERTRUDE: [CHUCKLES] Well. You’re not going to find many dark secrets in the stationery cupboard. [DRAWER OR DOOR CLOSES] GERRY: Just the recorded confession of your evil plans, then. [WOOD CREAKS] GERTRUDE: I’d be something of a fool to leave that one in the recorder. GERRY: I’ve never really seen you use it. GERTRUDE: Hm! It’s generally only for those statements I think might be useful to my successor. Or, the occasional interview. GERRY: So, do I get to hear them? GERTRUDE: Perhaps. If you live long enough.

That’s why there were technically so few, and so many of them seemed related to the rituals! It was supposed to be practical, useful information in case she were to die, she was actually much more prepared than Jon had assumed, they were supposed to be heard by her successor! (MAG137: “Anyway. Point is, you can probably discount The Slaughter. It had its chance.”)

- … Squint because, with how Gertrude had lied re:Leitner…

(MAG162) GERTRUDE: [CHUCKLES] Well. You’re not going to find many dark secrets in the stationery cupboard. […] Oh, and… Gerard. GERRY: Hm? [WOOD CREAKING] GERTRUDE: Don’t go rifling through my things in future. It could end… badly, for you.

… It definitely sounds like there was/is something in the stationery cupboard.

- First time we’re hearing Gerry alive, and first time hearing him while discussing with Gertrude… and almost the first time we hear Tim&Sasha together. Technically, they had already been heard together, although for a very brief moment, in MAG039 (when Sasha tackled him to save him), and last episode was the first time we heard them in the same room for more than a few seconds… AND I WOULD HAVE NEVER EXPECTED THEM TO BE HEARD TOGETHER, TALKING TOGETHER, TALKING ABOUT THEMSELVES AND EACH OTHER… ;___;

(Sasha/Tim was already one of my fav ships as a “potential” and “I like pain apparently??” since the end of season 1 and the fact that hey! last time Tim had seen Sasha before she got Not!Them’d, it was because she had saved his life! I’m fine!, I’ve been screaming for a week.)

- Context was apparently when Jon had very recently been promoted to Head Archivist, so second half of 2015 (since MAG123’s statement was handed on August 1st 2015 and Jon had mentioned that it was shortly after Gertrude’s disappearance, without any mention of his own tenure, so… he wasn’t in place by then), apparently shortly before MAG001 and his recordings since… Tim was apparently searching for a tape recorder?

(MAG162) [CLICK–] [RUMMAGING SOUNDS] TIM: [SIGH] SASHA: This it? TIM: Oh, thank God! I thought I was seeing things. SASHA: Glad I could help. TIM: I didn’t know he was actually gonna ask me to get it for him, I just… mentioned it ‘cause he was talking about recording. SASHA: Well, I’m sure he’s waiting…! TIM: Hm, he can wait a bit longer.

Which would put the scene in the storage room, given that Jon had already mentioned a few things about his very first tape recorder:

(MAG044) ARCHIVIST: I will admit to some disappointment it doesn’t address any of my more… pressing questions about Gertrude’s tapes. Why did she begin recording them, and why stop? If she’d been doing so right up until her death, she would have likely gotten through much of the archive and, moreover, I wouldn’t have had to find this tape player tucked away in the storage room, covered in dust and cobwebs.

(SPIDERRRRSSSS.) So psssh, Jon, it wasn’t YOU who found it, but Tim, with Sasha’s help!

(And I’m SOBBING??? That Tim had spotted it first??? And had wanted to record Jon’s birthday party with one??? Although he would grow to hate the tape recorders so much by season 3???)

- I’m sobbing over the fact that there can only be ONE qualified Archives Team member per generation.

(MAG154) ERIC: So when I finished my Master’s in Library Science and saw a vacancy at the Magnus Institute, of all places, I jumped at the chance. The chance to pursue my passion and my career at the same time seemed like too good an opportunity to pass up! It was only an “assistant archivist” position, of course, but that was fine. A good entry position, I’d, “I’d soon move on,” I told myself. [HUFF] Yeah…

(MAG162) TIM: If only there had been someone more qualified…! [STAPLING] SASHA: Tim. TIM: Sasha. [RUSTLING OF PAPER] SASHA: It’s Elias’s decision. […] Mm, Tim… I’ve been in academia for what, ten years now? TIM: Mm. SASHA: I know how this goes! I didn’t get the job. If I kick up a stink, I’ll just get blackballed.

And at the same time, ezusdjezds. Sasha was a Disaster like Jon archiving-wise, uh.

(MAG162) SASHA: Fantastic! [RUSTLING OF PAPER] Good of you to volunteer to help me. TIM: Uh! I, er, didn’t actually… SASHA: Grab a stapler. TIM: [SIGH] … Fine. [STAPLING] What are we doing? [RUSTLING OF PAPER] SASHA: Jon’s been getting frustrated with all the loose statement sheets around. [STAPLING] I’m going box by box, collating and stapling them. And now? So are you.

Sasha STAPLING UNIQUE, ORIGINAL DOCUMENTS, INTRODUCING A NEW MATTER SUBJECTING THEM TO POTENTIAL RUST, and Jon “Put a Post-It on the tapes or something” were the Same Kind Of People.

- If Sasha has been in academia for ten years, it means she is at the very least 28 at this point (if she’s counting her studies as “academia” — even older if not). Tim had worked for five years after his own diploma, before joining the Institute around 2013, so… not canon-canon, but more tiny bits of proof leaning towards the idea that Old Millenial Jon was actually the Archives’ youngest <3

- I randomly love the little detail that Tim would blame Elias’s choice on sexism, because it does make a lot of sense given what he knew, because to his eyes (and Sasha’s), Elias had chosen an underqualified man over a qualified woman?

(MAG162) SASHA: It’s Elias’s decision. TIM: [SIGH] It’s some sexist bullshit, is what it is…! [RUSTLING OF PAPER] SASHA: I mean… probably.

And yet, no, it wasn’t sexism (or not only sexism), since Jonah had previously chosen Gertrude, as James Wright or as his predecessor. But Tim couldn’t know!

- I! Love! That Tim was the one to point out and insist that the situation is unfair to Sasha…

(MAG162) TIM: Look, it should have been you, and you just know if you had called him out, the little weasel would start talking about “traditions” and “the values of our esteemed founder, Jimmy Magma.” […] Ah! I’m serious though. You should say something.

Because it matches with what we saw of him, as someone who was very conscious of what is and isn’t a healthy workplace environment? (Like, yeah, he does make jokes, and there is the Infamous April Fool’s 2016, and Jon’s surprise birthday party! But when things are truly messed up, he points it out.)

(MAG048) ELIAS: Martin and Tim have both approached me. Apparently, you’ve been spying on them. ARCHIVIST: Spying on them…?! Of course not! No, it’s just… I– I’ve been… worried about their mental health following Prentiss’s attack, so I’ve been… keeping a closer eye on them than usual. ELIAS: Tim says you were watching his house. ARCHIVIST: Ah, it, w– that’s just not true. ELIAS: Well, what matters is your team thinks that it could be.

(MAG058) TIM: Look, I tried talking to Elias about it, but it doesn’t seem to do any good! MARTIN: He’s just under a lot of pressure. You know how messed up he’s been since Prentiss. TIM: How messed up he’s been?!

(MAG065) ARCHIVIST: Well, Elias clearly thought that– TIM: Elias should have fired you weeks ago. ARCHIVIST: What?! TIM: After everything you’ve pulled, you should be gone. But no. Instead, we all get to talk about how you’re feeling, because we’re worried about our stalker boss!

It showed that he worked for long (five years) in another company before The Magnus Institute?

- I really really hope that Elias was Watching and grinding his teeth because:

(MAG162) TIM: Look, it should have been you, and you just know if you had called him out, the little weasel would start talking about “traditions” and “the values of our esteemed founder, Jimmy Magma.” SASHA: [LAUGHS] [RUSTLING OF PAPER] TIM: Johnny… Magnum? SASHA: Closer. TIM: Jack Magnet. SASHA: That’s the one!

The lack of respect… Tim, I love you so much…

1°) The way Tim parodied Elias, it sounds like Elias was quite often raving about “traditions” and “the values of our esteemed founder”??? ELIAS………. (“I heard that Jonah Magnus had an eight pack.”)

2°) So, “little weasel” according to Tim and “weird little freak” according to Daisy in MAG082: is Elias… not very tall. (While Peter big–)

3°) I love that TMI Tim from The Magnus Institute (pretended that he?) couldn’t remember the name of the founder. Hey, at least, he didn’t suggest “Jonathan Magnus”.

4°) I LOVE HOW SASHA LAUGHED AND WAS HAVING FUN, TOO!!! Gods, Tim&Sasha were too damn cute together…

- Things that really, really didn’t age well: Tim mentioning murder.

(MAG162) TIM: Ah… yeah. [RUSTLING OF PAPER] … What if we kill him? SASHA: [CHUCKLING] What, Elias? [RUSTLING OF PAPER] TIM: No. Big Boss Sims! Cut the brakes on his office chair, no one would ever know! SASHA: [LAUGHS] TIM: Swap in a poisoned teabag, pin it on Martin – the perfect crime.

(MAG058) TIM: Look, I tried talking to Elias about it, but it doesn’t seem to do any good! MARTIN: He’s just under a lot of pressure. You know how messed up he’s been since Prentiss. TIM: How messed up he’s been?! MARTIN: Of course, I’m sorry – sorry, I didn’t mean that you weren’t, just– TIM: No! Because I didn’t start stalking my co-workers! MARTIN: Maybe try talking to him. TIM: Sure. Like he doesn’t already look at me like I’m a murderer.

(MAG065) ARCHIVIST: I said there’s no need for the attitude; I know things have been difficult, but– TIM: Oh? They have, have they? “Things” have been difficult. You spent a month staring at that footage, double-checking every moment, timing every tea break, looking at me like I somehow staged it – but no, you’re right! Things have been difficult. […] Shut up! Just stop talking. I’m sick of this, I’m sick of you! We didn’t kill Gertrude, and no one wants to kill you, you pompous idiot!

Lucky that this tape didn’t end up in Jon’s hands during season 2, uh… (But at the same time, it had the original Sasha’s voice on it… so same question as in MAG161: who had kept the tapes for so long, and had managed to avoid that Jon would listen to them before he understood what was happening with the Not!Them?)

- Something doesn’t work in Tim’s “Cut the brakes on his office chair”: Jon’s chair scrapes on the floor, we’ve heard it plenty! It doesn’t have wheels! So maybe it was the case back when they were in research? (Or Tim broke it between this recording and MAG001.)

- TIM IS A MAN OF CULTURE!

(MAG162) SASHA: [CHUCKLES] And how do you know that you won’t be the one that gets it? That boy makes a lot of tea. TIM: Oh, it’s okay, I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder. SASHA: Urgh! TIM: [PROUD SNORT]

And given Sasha’s reaction, she understood the Princess Bride reference!! (… And now that I think about it, their exchange had a bit of the Buttercup-Westley dynamic…)

- I’m not okay I’m very okay, Tim&Sasha… had canonically fucked…

(MAG162) TIM: I can’t believe you’d just abandon our intense [STAPLING] “Will-They-Won’t-They” storyline like that! [RUSTLING OF PAPER] SASHA: Hum… I’m pretty sure we established it’s very much “Won’t-They”. TIM: No-no-no-no. See, we had the ill-advised hook-up; the awkward aftermath; and the gradually rebuilt friendship. [STAPLING] But… that’s all season two stuff. We’ve got like five more seasons before we get the heart-warming epilogue that makes it canon~ [RUSTLING OF PAPER] SASHA: I know it’s hard to hear, mate! But you’re not the love interest. [STAPLING] I think you might be the character they drop after the pilot! TIM: Uh– W–Wow! [RUSTLING OF PAPER] You are vicious today! SASHA: Sorry, Tim! I can’t hear you over all this stapling.

And I LOVE what we’re seeing of their relationship? With Tim joking around and Sasha able to be savage but not cruel either – we could feel that they had that kind of relationship where they can be a bit pushy and mean as part of their inside jokes?

I was shipping them already!! I love what we’re hearing of their actual relationship, how comfortable they were around each other as friends-who-have-slept-together-in-the-past!! I totally get why Tim seemed to love Sasha gdi.

I love how we had tiny glimpses that Tim had lost someone precious with her, and now… we can feel how much it was the case:

(MAG026) ARCHIVIST: Are you sure you’re all right to do this now? You can take a few days off to recover if you need. SASHA: No, it’s fine. Tim’s getting me a coffee, and I’d rather get this down while it’s still fresh in my mind.

(MAG161) TIM: What, does someone need to change their password again! ARCHIVIST: I… what? TIM: [LAUGHS] ARCHIVIST: Sasha, have you been going through my computer– SASHA: Definitely not! No idea what he’s talking about. TIM: ‘Course not! SASHA & TIM: [LAUGHS]

(MAG039) SASHA: What is he doing? No, Tim, just run! Leave it alone! MARTIN: Oh no, no, no, no… SASHA: Turn around. Just turn around. MARTIN: Oh god. There she is, there she is. ARCHIVIST: [MUTTERING] There’s nothing we can do. SASHA: Ah, screw this. ARCHIVIST: What, Sasha, NO! [DOOR OPENS] SASHA: Tim, look out! […] ARCHIVIST: I need you to describe what’s going on. For the record. MARTIN: Ah, yeah. Sure. So, um, Sasha tackled Tim and there was kind of a struggle, but she made it out of the Archives. That, that was about two minutes ago and she’s gone to get help. P–probably. I mean, she, she couldn’t… she wouldn’t just run so…

(MAG065) TIM: And the worst thing? The actual worst thing is that no one here has my back. With any of it! Elias doesn’t care; Martin just wants a tea party; and Sasha… god, and you!

(MAG079) TIM: What the hell was that? MARTIN: It… er... It looked… It kinda looked… TIM: Oh don’t say it. MARTIN: It did, though, didn’t it? TIM: That wasn’t Sasha. MARTIN: No. No, no, it wasn’t. You don’t… you don’t think– TIM: He told her to go home. Like us! MARTIN: Yeah. TIM: And she did. […] MARTIN: I didn’t hear anything. Why, do you think it was the Sasha-thing? TIM: Will you shut up about that. It wasn’t anything like her.

(MAG082) MARTIN: Maybe they said something about Sasha, y’know? TIM: She’s dead, Martin. Come on! Even you’re not that blind. He got her too. MARTIN: Don’t you say that. Don’t you dare say that! […] I don’t know who that old man was, but Jon would never hurt Sasha. TIM: Fine. If it wasn’t him, it must have been that thing we saw. MARTIN: It was only for a second. And what with that weird finger guy, and the door… I mean, it d–didn’t look like her. TIM: It did. You know it did. Maybe it ate her. Maybe it was her. Maybe she was always some messed up mutant and we just never noticed. Could have been “Michael”. I mean, it basically told us it was working with Jon. When you disappear and there are more than three different ways you might be dea– … Look, I’m sorry. It’s just this place. [SIGH] Bad things happen and eventually you don’t come back. MARTIN: T–Tim… TIM: I’m going to go lie down.

(MAG086) TIM: Wait. Tell me about the two Sashas. […] What did she look like? MELANIE: What? Sorry? TIM: The first Sasha. What… What was she like? MELANIE: Uh, she was… um… I don’t, er… maybe I’m… I’m getting it wrong. I just… okay, I can’t, er– TIM: No. I… think I understand. MELANIE: Well, can you explain? TIM: … Who am I even sad for? MELANIE: I… I’m, I’m sorry… I don’t, er… TIM: Um… I’m, I’m going to lie down…

(MAG114) TIM: You know how long that thing pretended to be Sasha? ARCHIVIST: Oh god… TIM: And I had no idea? I knew Sasha for years, we… I don’t know Martin as well as I knew her; I barely know what Melanie and Basira look like, or that weird murder-cop.

When The Unknowing came, Tim only mentioned Danny and avenging him – he probably didn’t remember anything about the real Sasha, only that someone had been there and wasn’t anymore?

- Kudos to the soundscaping this ep, because the timing of when the stapling sounds happened was just On Point (hammering words in/adding a bit of a playfully threatening feeling).

- ………….. Sasha had considered leaving…………… even before MAG001…

(MAG162) TIM: So, what are you gonna do? SASHA: … I don’t know, really. Might just get another job. [RUSTLING OF PAPER] TIM: What…? Seriously, just jump ship? SASHA: Yeah, I guess so! I mean… [STAPLING] There’s not much out there at the moment, but I’ve got a few alerts set up. […] I guess it’s just… I just don’t have anything keeping me here. You’ve got your brother… TIM: … yeah… SASHA: … Sorry. And, Martin can’t go anywhere that’ll look too hard at his CV. […] Don’t worry, I just– I mean… I kind of just… ended up here. And I like it! Li–liked it. But if I’m bashing my head against the glass ceiling, it’s time to go. TIM: Well… [RUSTLING OF PAPER] I’ll miss you. SASHA: Yeah. [STAPLING] You will.

1°) In canon, Sasha had been the first one to mention the option of quitting:

(MAG026) SASHA: I should really quit, you know. We, we all should. I don’t think this a normal job. I, I don’t think this is a safe job. ARCHIVIST: You’re probably right. Do you want to quit? SASHA: No. I’m just… I’m just too damned curious, I suppose. You? ARCHIVIST: No. Whatever’s going on, I… need to know.

… and rejected it for the same reasons as Jon. But it’s interesting that with Tim, she identified that she didn’t have anything to make her stay back then, while we know of Tim’s and Martin’s reasons. Jon said that Sasha had always had an interest in the paranormal:

(MAG048) ARCHIVIST: Of course, it is becoming rapidly apparent in my investigation that I can trust nobody. But of all of them, Sasha seemed the least suspicious. I can’t find any evidence she ever even met Gertrude, and her working here seems the natural progression of her lifelong interest in the paranormal. She’s been doing her work with the same diligence as before the Prentiss incident and, indeed, of all of them, seems to have been the least affected.

… So was that part the Not!Them rewriting her history to “make sense” of Sasha working at the Institute, or something genuinely pre-existent?

2°) When it comes to Tim: he had pointed out that he had grown “comfortable” in research and that Danny had stopped being so much of a priority (MAG104), I… wonder if Sasha had anything to do with that. Did Tim accept Jon’s offer to transfer to the Archives because he knew that Sasha would go there…?

3°) I’m sad again for Martin, since Sasha pointed out that leaving the Institute wasn’t really an option for him. And remembering Martin’s wording at the end of season 1:

(MAG039) ARCHIVIST: Why are you here Martin? MARTIN: Well, well, Prentiss is out there and you can’t run so– ARCHIVIST: I mean at the Archive in general. Why haven’t you quit? MARTIN: Are you giving me my review now? ARCHIVIST: No… We’re clearly doing a whole heart-to-heart thing and, truth be told, the question’s been bothering me. You’ve been living in the Archives for four months, constant threat of… this. Sleeping with a fire extinguisher and a corkscrew. Even you must be aware that that’s not normal for an archiving job? Why are you still here? MARTIN: [CONSIDERING] Don’t really know. I just am. It didn’t feel right to just leave. I’ve typed up a few resignation letters, but I just couldn’t bring myself to hand them in. I’m trapped here. It’s like I can’t… move on and the more I struggle, the more I’m stuck.

It feels like, technically, Martin constructed his own trap through his lies. (Though, at this point he could have left the Institute and changed his CV, claiming an experience he now indeed had and scraping the fake diplomas. But then, the Institute isn’t seen favourably, so…)

- I REALLY WOULD HAVE NEVER EXPECTED TO LEARN that Sasha knew about Danny, oh GODS…

(MAG162) SASHA: [SIGH] … I guess it’s just… I just don’t have anything keeping me here. You’ve got your brother… TIM: … yeah… SASHA: … Sorry.

Tim’s small broken voice when she reminded him of it ;_;

And in the same way, I! Can’t! Believe! That! Martin! Had! Told! Tim! About! His! CV!

(MAG162) SASHA: … Sorry. And, Martin can’t go anywhere that’ll look too hard at his CV. TIM: … Wait. How do you know about that? SASHA: It’s all on the system. Our digital security is shocking, by the way. Besides, it’s not even a good lie. [RUSTLING OF PAPER] TIM: Okay, but seriously, you cannot let Martin know. He’ll think I told you, and I swore to keep schtum. SASHA: Hey. Don’t worry, I just– I mean… I kind of just… ended up here.

1°) It’s absolutely hilarious that disaster!paranoid!stalker!season2!Jon… turned out to have been the last one of the original team to find out about Martin’s secret.

(MAG042) ARCHIVIST: There are a few pieces I feel could almost have been affecting if his style wasn’t so obviously enamoured with Keats, but there is an unfinished letter, addressed to his mother in Devon, in which he mentions that he is worried about “the others finding out I’ve been lying”. It may be nothing, some… inconsequential deception or other – after all, it is ostensibly written to his mother – but if it was actually to be sent to someone else… I will keep my eye on Martin.

(MAG056) MARTIN: I… … I lied on my CV. ARCHIVIST: … What? MARTIN: I don’t have a Master’s in parapsychology, I don’t even have a degree. When I was 17, my mom, she… had… she had some problems, and I ended up dropping out of school, t– trying to support us. I tried everything, but no one was hiring. So I… I just kinda started to lie on my applications, sending them out to just about anywhere. For some reason, my lie about parapsychology got me an interview with Elias and, and then a job here. M– most of my employment details are made up, I’m only 29! ARCHIVIST: Right, I… uh… I believe you! MARTIN: Why are you smiling…? ARCHIVIST: Yes, I just… hum… I won’t mention it to Elias. Just between us. MARTIN: So you… don’t… mind? ARCHIVIST: To be quite honest, Martin, I’m… I’m really rather relieved.

Sasha made her own research by hacking through the Institute system (pfTTR, take that Elias), and probably crosschecked Martin’s claims?, while Tim… knew because Martin had confided in him. Meanwhile, Jon spiralled around a misunderstanding, until he confronted Martin quite violently.

2°) I’m ;; emotional over the fact that Tim & Sasha didn’t know that the other knew, but kept Martin’s secret, even from Jon. Sasha had been a bit savage towards Martin in season 1:

(MAG026) SASHA: Right. Well, I’m sure you know I was sceptical about how dangerous this Jane Prentiss was when you first suggested Martin stay in the archive. I mean, it’s not that I didn’t believe him about what happened, it just seemed… Well, Martin is a great researcher, but his self-preservation instincts are not the strongest, and to be frank I thought that if this Prentiss were a danger everyone seemed to think, then he’d almost certainly be dead.

… Or at least condescending, but the fact that she knew about his CV is adding another dimension to these words: she knew he didn’t have the qualifications, and had still avoided to put the blame on his lack of competency (“Martin is a great researcher”). Tim and Sasha were casually protecting Martin in their own way, uh…

3°) Ouffftttt, it’s highlighting something mean about Martin&Tim’s dynamic… Tim had acknowledged that he was closer to Sasha than Martin:

(MAG114) TIM: You know how long that thing pretended to be Sasha? ARCHIVIST: Oh god… TIM: And I had no idea? I knew Sasha for years, we… I don’t know Martin as well as I knew her; I barely know what Melanie and Basira look like, or that weird murder-cop.

Martin had told Tim about his secret (the lies on his CV)… yet Tim hadn’t told him about Danny, which Martin would learn about in MAG104, while Sasha… knew. Had she discovered it by herself (police reports regarding the disappearance of Tim’s brother), or did Tim tell her? At least, they shared that secret.

- Tim was incredibly SAVAGE about Jon in this episode, but technically… he had still accepted Jon’s offer to go to the Archives – you wouldn’t do that for someone you truly despise and hate? But ;; that there was such heavy resentment towards the fact that Sasha had been robbed of the position… It’s fair, and he identified the genuine culprit (Elias), but wooooft, those were very harsh words towards Jon, still. (And at the same time: fair, when we remember what Jon was like in season 1.)

- I… love how that tape contributed both to Sasha and Tim as characters? It was a nice move to have them pointing out people’s misconceptions or “flattening” of their personalities, in a moment that was “outside” of the show’s formula (season 1, until the climax, was solely statements, work-related discussions being overall accidental):

(MAG162) TIM: Oh, for god’s sake! [RUSTLING OF PAPER] “Oh, Tim’s so hard to talk to, seriously, he won’t stop making jokes and references, not like Sasha!” They’ve got no idea. SASHA: And they never will. TIM: Seriously, though. [STAPLING] Everyone thinks you’re just this “reliable down-to-earth nerd”… [RUSTLING OF PAPER] SASHA: And what makes you think they’re wrong? TIM: So what? Actually I’m the one who doesn’t get to see the real you? [STAPLING] SASHA: No such thing. TIM: As what? SASHA: [SCOFF] A “real you”. TIM: [GROAN] SASHA: I don’t think so, at least. It’s all just masks. TIM: Alright, Stanislavski. SASHA: You know what I mean. TIM: You really believe that? [RUSTLING OF PAPER] SASHA: Kind of! I mean… TIM: [CHUCKLE] SASHA: … Who knows why we do what we do? TIM: I do. SASHA: No. [STAPLING] All you know is what your brain does to justify what you do. [RUSTLING OF PAPER] It’s no more “reason” than the face you put on for Jon. [STAPLING] The only real you is the actions you take. TIM: Hey! I’ll have you know, I have a rich inner life. SASHA: How nice for you. [RUSTLING OF PAPER] But hurry up with your outer one: you’re falling behind, and I’m not saving you any staples.

(And it was! So appropriate, to have Sasha point out that Gertrude was faking the old senile woman persona in the same exchange.)

1°) I love that Tim was aware that he was perceived as the One Making Jokes (and self-conscious about it? Or aware that some people were finding it off-putting and an obstacle to forming a meaningful bond with him?), while Sasha showed that she was a bit meaner than we had been led to assume (and indeed, “reliable” was the perfect way to describe her in season 1… through Jon’s eyes).

2°) Tim is a theatre kid confirmed, he knows his classics. (Stanislavski)

3°) Okay, so obviously, Sasha’s speech about how people appear/who they are, and the jokes about being forgotten are AOUCH considering what happened with the Not!Them:

(MAG162) TIM: What possible reason could she have for being criminally incompetent in a manky old archive? SASHA: No idea. And honestly, it kind of worries me. [RUSTLING OF PAPER] TIM: Well… Tell you what. If you get eaten alive [STAPLING] by improperly filed statements? Me and Martin will avenge you. SASHA: Myeah, aren’t you sweet. TIM: I mean it! We’ll burn this place to the ground, it’ll be all like, “Sashaaa! Saaashaaaa!” SASHA: And what about Jon? [RUSTLING OF PAPER] TIM: Well! “Given the incoherence of this statement, I find it hard to believe it ever occurred!” SASHA: [LAUGHS] TIM: “In fact, based on the evidence, I find it highly unlikely this Sasha ever even existed at all.” SASHA: No! You took it too far. I’m unforgettable!

But the first part of her argument reminded me mostly of The Web: how actions and intentions often don’t match, what is the essence of oneself amongst what is influencing you. The idea that intentions are posterior to action was very reminiscent of how Trevor had described The Web’s effects on him (MAG056), so… Mm.

I wonder if there is something about the fact that… all this irony about Sasha getting Stranger’d and forgotten, about Jon wishing for “quiet” and that the others would “go away”, is not… fabricated somehow? I don’t think the tapes could have been tampered with; it’s mainly that there was so much dramatic irony that it feels like Sasha’s fate had been engineered, somehow, to transform her words from the past into a sort of dramatic self-fulfilling prediction…? I mean, The Web was interested in story-telling (MAG123), and Sasha got attacked when coming near a Web artefact…

- I!! Love!! That Sasha!! Had been able to see through Gertrude!

(MAG162) TIM: Yeah, yeah! … I still can’t believe Gertrude was allowed to let this place get into such a state! SASHA: Mm. [STAPLING] I just want to know why. TIM: What do you mean, “why”? [RUSTLING OF PAPER] You saw her, she’s like a hundred years old and more cardigan than woman! She just started to lose it. Sad, but it happens. SASHA: You never talked to her, did you? [STAPLING] TIM: Well, I mean… I must’ve, at some point. SASHA: Eh! You’d remember. [RUSTLING OF PAPER] TIM: Why? What was she like? SASHA: Stone. Cold. Bitch. TIM: Sasha! SASHA: And sharper than you. [STAPLING] No way this is accidental. TIM: [CHUCKLING] Oh, yeah, this is all a big geriatric conspiracy…! [SILENCE] Wait, seriously? SASHA: Mm–hmm.

(“Stone cold bitch” is… indeed the best way to describe Gertrude.)

Sasha had also been the first one to point out how shady Elias could be:

(MAG039) SASHA: … Did I ever tell you I first joined the Institute as a practical researcher? I had to analyse and investigate all the stuff in here. Take notes after sleeping in the rusted chair, write in the memory book, all that sort of thing. I transferred after three months. Would’ve quit, but couldn’t afford to back then. Never understood why they keep this stuff secret. I mean, we’ve, we’ve enough here to send any sceptic packing, but it’s just locked away. I… I asked Elias about it once, but he just muttered something about funding and mission statements. He’s good at changing the subject, isn’t he?

She was clever! Elias presented her death as a (useful) accident in MAG160, but it still feels like he casually did his best to make sure she wouldn’t stay around for long during the worms attack – how fast would she have understood about The Eye…?

- CURIOUSLY, Sasha told Tim that he would have remembered if he had spoken with Gertrude… but Jon did, and didn’t seem to feel much about it:

(MAG043) ARCHIVIST: I only ever spoke to Gertrude once or twice during her time as archivist. I… I was very new. I don’t remember what her voice sounded like.

… is there something that made Jon forget a few things, or already not pay attention to some things back before he become the Archivist…? (Since we already had the thing about Jon forgetting the ice cream outing last episode…)

- Tim blamed Sasha being passed over for a promotion on sexism, Elias mentioned that the fact Jon had been marked by The Web made him pick him… but technically, why not Tim, who had already encountered The Stranger?

(MAG104) TIM: You were watching then? ELIAS: Most of it. TIM: Surprised you didn’t know it already. That’s your thing, isn’t it? ELIAS: I knew there was some trauma that drew you to us, but I can’t say I ever thought to look much deeper. An oversight, perhaps, but I’m looking now.

… Was it because, unlike Jon who had nobody by the beginning of season 1, Tim&Sasha… were at least close to each other?

- More pressing concerns: did Tim&Sasha ever bang in the Archives.

(MAG162) TIM: [CHUCKLES] Alright. He fires you because of all the drugs and the wild orgies on Archive property. [RUSTLING OF PAPER] SASHA: Yeah, that’s fair! Now: get back to work.

Did orgies happen in the Archives.

- … That’s a LOT of references to fire in only two episodes, and four tapes which had been sent to Jon pre-apocalypse by someone/something who isn’t necessarily Elias.

(MAG161) TIM: … Oh, goodness! [SHAKES A BOX OF MATCHES] A source of ignition? In the Archives? […] Oh? Woops! [A MATCH IS LIT] Sorry; my hand slipped. And again. [CRACKLE OF A BIRTHDAY CANDLE WICK] And again. And… a couple more times, here – I’m so clumsy today; that is a lot of fire! ARCHIVIST: I’m really not comfortable with– SASHA: So blow them out, then. ARCHIVIST: Oh. [FIRE CRACKLING] … Right, yeah–

(MAG161) GERTRUDE: Paper burns well. [GURGLING LIQUID] Petrol burns… better. LEITNER: Aha! I always forget about your pyromaniac streak. GERTRUDE: Mm. Remind me to tell you about Agnes, sometime…!

(MAG162) GERTRUDE: Eh! [INHALE] You can probably burn it in the back courtyard, if you’re careful. GERRY: Yeah, will do! GERTRUDE: And for goodness’s sake, make sure no one sees you. The last thing we need is a letter to Elias about book-burnings. GERRY: Look, if you have somewhere better to burn these books, then– […] You, uh… need anything else burning?

(MAG162) TIM: Well… Tell you what. If you get eaten alive [STAPLING] by improperly filed statements? Me and Martin will avenge you. SASHA: Myeah, aren’t you sweet. TIM: I mean it! We’ll burn this place to the ground, it’ll be all like, “Sashaaa! Saaashaaaa!”

So. Really really unlikely that it was Elias sending them to “gloat”, as Martin assumed, since it feels too pointed. I’m still banking on The Web, but not necessarily as an indication of what Martin&Jon should do – more like a rubbing-in-your-face that they had all the keys back then, that Jon had been given the lighter, that the spiders had showed him in season 2 the gas main that Leitner had moved… and that they didn’t do anything. Or, burning the Archives is a necessarily step in The Web’s plan, The Web is trying to push into that direction by using Jon&Martin’s resentment towards Elias, and burning the Archives (if it doesn’t end up burning Jon-the-Archive himself) will make things worse somehow.

(Given how burning Gerry’s page had been so difficult (because knowledge and because the things Gerry could still tell him) and painful (he was sobbing in pain when he finally did it) for Jon in MAG117, I wonder how much worse it would be to burn The Eye’s Archives?)

And now, confirmation that Jon still has the lighter on him, it had been a while! And we might be getting closer to an answer about it, since… it was Martin mentioning it – Martin had been the one to receive that delivery.

(MAG035) MARTIN: I’m sorry, are you two meant– BREEKON: Won’t take up your time. HOPE: Just got a delivery. MARTIN: Look, you really can’t actually– BREEKON: Package for Jonathan Sims. HOPE: Says right here. MARTIN: Well, I don’t really know where he– HOPE: We’ll just leave it with you. BREEKON: Be sure he gets it.

(MAG036) TIM: Oh, ah, nothing urgent, um, it’s just Elias was asking a couple questions about the delivery. […] Um, apparently Martin, uh, took delivery of a couple of items last week addressed to you. Did he not mention it? ARCHIVIST: No, he… Oh, yes, actually. I completely forgot. He said he put it in my desk draw, hold on. [SOUND OF PACKAGE BEING RETRIEVED AND OPENED] TIM: Er, what is it? ARCHIVIST: A lighter. An old Zippo. TIM: You smoke? ARCHIVIST: No. And I don’t allow ignition sources in my archive! TIM: Okay. Is there anything unusual about it? ARCHIVIST: Not really. Just a sort of spider web design on the front. Doesn’t mean anything to me. You?

(MAG037) ARCHIVIST: I just want a record. To make sure I have something I can check. MARTIN: Okay, fine. There were two delivery men. They were big, and they spoke with cockney accents that might have been fake, and they delivered a package for you. I don’t remember anything else about what they looked like. ARCHIVIST: Nothing at all? MARTIN: [EXASPERATED] They looked normal. Like you’d expect. They looked like two, huge, cockney delivery men. I don’t know what else you want? ARCHIVIST: What about the table? MARTIN: I didn’t see the table. I guess Rosie must have signed for it. I mean, it’s her office on the way to Artefact Storage, that makes sense.

(MAG039) ELIAS: Because there isn’t an actual fire. SASHA: Right, right. Can we set it off manually? I think Jon’s got a lighter somewhere. ELIAS: He’s not smoking again, is he?

(MAG091) DAISY: One wallet, brown leather, no cash. One packet cigarettes, Silk Cut. One lighter, gold, spiderweb design.

(MAG111) GERRY: Nice lighter. You a spider freak, then? ARCHIVIST: What? Oh! Er, no. I–I never really, uh… I never really thought of it. I–I’m Jon. I’m with the Magnus Institute.

(MAG136) DAISY: Spider’s sneaky like that. [PAUSE] Like that lighter you’re always using. Where’d you get that? ARCHIVIST: Mm. [STATIC] Good point. We should keep our eyes open. Anyway, how’s Basira doing?

(MAG162) MARTIN: [INHALE] Okay… [SIGH] You said this place, the–the cabin was… [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] It, it’s feeding on us, right? ARCHIVIST: Yes… MARTIN: … So should we… destroy it, before we go? [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND, BUT LOUDER AND CONFRONTATIONAL] [DISTANT RUMBLE OF THUNDER] ARCHIVIST: I honestly don’t know if we can. MARTIN: Hm. ARCHIVIST: Besides, there’s… far worse out there. Better to try and avoid it, I think. MARTIN: We’re not even gonna try? We, we’ve got your lighter, maybe we could just– ARCHIVIST: We can’t fight the world, Martin. MARTIN: [AMUSED DEFIANT HUFF] Says you.

(This is how Web-Desolation!Martin can still win. ARSOOOOOOOON.)

Re: Jon’s lighter, and Jon constantly forgetting about it, I… am now also considering another option about what is making him forget that it has a spider design on it, that he got it in dubious circumstances (Breekon&Hope delivering it), and that it had stuck with him without Jon ever investigating about it.

What if it’s not The Web making him forget that he has it, but Beholding?

Making Jon not pay attention to it could absolutely be a Spider thing, we had a prime example with Gregory Cox (MAG123: “I haven’t given the name of this mystery client because to be honest, Greg’s never told me. I’ve asked him plenty of times, but whenever I do, he gives me this… surprised look, insists he’s told me before, and then immediately forgets and changes the subject.”), and that was my only supposition until now… but technically, we’ve already seen Beholding trying to prevent Jon from accessing information that he could use against it, too?

(MAG154) ARCHIVIST: I went back to Eli– er, Peter’s office. To that box of tapes; started rifling through. And I started to try and pay attention to the ones I… wasn’t drawn to. The tapes I instinctively wanted to discard. [SIGH] There was one, this one, that my hand… pulled back from. I–I dropped it, twice, when I went to pick it up. Even now, I’m… [AUDIBLE FORCED SMILE] struggling to press play…! I am the avatar of Awful Knowledge And Revealed Secrets… so what does it not want me to know…?

The lighter could have been The Web keeping tabs on Jon and sometimes influencing him when it needed to by making itself forgotten… But it could also be that The Web sent the lighter, that it was there, that it stuck with Jon, that it was supposed to help him burn the Archives, that Beholding couldn’t get Jon to separate from it, but could still make sure that baby!Beholdingavatar!Jon was unable to pay attention to it and making his attention slip over it like water…? (Am still banking on Web-Web doing Web stuff but. Beholding is technically an option as well.)

- Other thing that these recordings all share: a tape recorder being around and acknowledged / alluded to. In MAG161, both the birthday party and Gertrude&Leitner’s exchange had been conscious, willing recording: Tim was recording the scene as a memory, Gertrude had been recording a message to her successor in case things went badly.

In MAG162, recorders were there and acknowledged… but it’s a bit less clear whether they were supposed to be turned on or not.

(MAG162) [CLICK–] [RUMMAGING SOUNDS] [BOTTLES CLINKING] [PLASTIC RATTLING] GERRY: Hm? GERTRUDE: Find anything [ITEM FALLING ON THE GROUND] interesting– GERRY: Oh…! GERTRUDE: –back there? [DOOR CLOSES] GERRY: Yeah, sorry, I was just, hum… yeah. GERTRUDE: Curiosity is a very dangerous trait in our line of work, Gerard. GERRY: So is ignorance. GERTRUDE: [CHUCKLES] Well. You’re not going to find many dark secrets in the stationery cupboard. [DRAWER OR DOOR CLOSES] GERRY: Just the recorded confession of your evil plans, then. [WOOD CREAKS] GERTRUDE: I’d be something of a fool to leave that one in the recorder. GERRY: I’ve never really seen you use it. GERTRUDE: Hm! It’s generally only for those statements I think might be useful to my successor. Or, the occasional interview.

(MAG162) [CLICK–] [RUMMAGING SOUNDS] TIM: [SIGH] SASHA: This it? TIM: Oh, thank God! I thought I was seeing things. SASHA: Glad I could help. TIM: I didn’t know he was actually gonna ask me to get it for him, I just… mentioned it ‘cause he was talking about recording. SASHA: Well, I’m sure he’s waiting…! TIM: Hm, he can wait a bit longer.

In both cases: the recorder was there. Gerry found it while inspecting Gertrude’s private things (and it was already recording before we heard him manipulating something plastic, most likely tape boxes); Sasha helped Tim to find (again) the tape recorder he was searching for for Jon. But in both cases, nobody mentioned they were being recorded, or that they had accidentally clicked it on. Were they turned on by accident, or were they already “autonomous” (/controlled by something else), leading to the recording? Tim had trouble finding the tape recorder again – had it… disappeared for a while? It’s still unclear whether or not they were already acting up on their own at the time…

(Something else these four tapes have in common is that the Archives were hosting… “unprofessional” activities putting a risk to documents? Jon’s birthday party (Tim even had matches), Gertrude ready to pour petrol in the Archives, and here: Gerry riffling through Gertrude’s possessions, Sasha stapling documents.)

- Overall, I loved loved loved the “statement”: it was so eerie, cruel and poetic? So insidiously cutting under the soft voice? And redfiojr I’m so happy and so mad about the fact that the cabin wasn’t neutral anymore and was feeding on Jon&Martin, because it was so obvious in retrospect! Jon spitting that there was no “comfort” anymore in the new world, but very adamant that they were “safe” and should stay there!

(MAG161) MARTIN: O–kay, we’ll just file that under… ominous, for now. … We seem safe enough in here, at least. ARCHIVIST: I suppose so. MARTIN: Bit of a hideaway? ARCHIVIST: Or a prison. MARTIN: Uh, yes. Still: better than outside. […] ARCHIVIST: It hurts. MARTIN: I know. ARCHIVIST: … I need time. MARTIN: I know. But we can’t stay in this cabin forever…! [DISTANT HOWL] ARCHIVIST: Why not? It, it’s quiet here, an–and I have you…! […] MARTIN: Well, that as may be, we can’t just stay here forever. ARCHIVIST: What could possibly be out there that you want to see? MARTIN: A way to stop this, a way to turn the world back! ARCHIVIST: [HINT OF A DISHEARTENED SMILE] … Do you really think there is one? [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] MARTIN: Well, if there is, it’s not in here, is it? ARCHIVIST: It’s so… It’s so loud, out there? The agony, the–the terror, I can see it all so much more clearly…! MARTIN: I’m sorry. ARCHIVIST: No, it’s– [SIGH] I love you, I just… I need more time. [SILENCE] MARTIN: It’s alright. [RUSTLING OF CLOTHES] [CREAKING SOUND] ARCHIVIST: [SOFT EXHALE] MARTIN: It’s alright, I’m good at waiting.

The creaking sounds were overly present – it was because the house was a character by itself! And indeed, it was curious that Martin felt like he was “visiting” Jon, and not like… they were living in the same tiny space?

(MAG162) ARCHIVIST: … Wha…? [STATIC REACHING A PEAK] … “There is a place, deep in the heart of Fear, where you trap yourself and claim that it is safety. [STATIC DECREASES] It was once a cabin, and professes still to be such, but as with all in this new world that promises respite… it is a trap. […] If you had need to eat, no doubt there would be food; if you had need to sleep, no doubt the beds would be welcoming. […] Look closer at the rough planks that make this cabin, and see that they are warmer, softer and more yielding than the hard timber they present. Are the dimensions of this place quite what they were when you stayed here before The Change…? [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] Or are the walls thicker, the doors heavier when they close. [LONG WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] Where the curtains always stained that dull maroon? Or has the dust of the horrific world they keep at bay dyed them so. The one you love is always near, [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] so close that refuge sometimes feels a prison. And yet your voice does not echo when you call to them; and they find they sometimes cannot hear it.”

[…] MARTIN: And, I found some rope in the attic, and I packed that with the maps. […] I, I actually, eh! I actually found a stash of tea under the kitchen sink–

I have questions about that cabin, though, because it now feels like it was supposed to be a full house even before the Change, given the bedS (we all know that Jon&Martin used to only use one anyway during the three weeks honeymoon, uh.) and the mention of the attic. Daisy, what the heck was your safehouse, it wasn’t a tiny thing.

- Personally, cabin felt like a mix of Corruption, Buried, Lonely to me /o/

- I wasn’t expecting so much Jon&Martin, AND YET, I’m delighted:

(MAG161) ARCHIVIST: No, it’s– [SIGH] I love you, I just… I need more time. [SILENCE] MARTIN: It’s alright.

(MAG162) ARCHIVIST: The screams may linger on the distant breeze, and your eye may wander beyond the curtains from time to time, but you and the one you love are, it seems… safe. […] There within the thing that pretends to be a cabin is the one you love. You hold each other, whisper words of reassurance, but the place knows this comfort to be a lie, and laces upon it instead the awful fear of losing what you have. […] It will not let you feel the warmth of joy that this love may claim to gift – it is only a mouldy treasure to be clung to; something to fear the loss of as you hold it so tight that it withers, and warps. […] The one you love is always near, [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] so close that refuge sometimes feels a prison. And yet your voice does not echo when you call to them; and they find they sometimes cannot hear it. […] “Stay!” the cabin says. [THUNDER CLAPPING] “Stay within my false defences; cling so close to what you desperately wish to save, and live in shaking fear of the things beyond that may take it from you. Throw another log on the fire and curl up close. There are always more logs for the fire here.””

The Eye and the cabin, sharing a bag of popcorn while Jon&Martin were being pda for an undetermined infinite amount of time.

(Yessss that one of Jon’s fears, used against him, was his fear of losing Martin… ;_;)

- SUPER GLAD that alright, they’re leaving the cabin already, Jon was in such a state partially because of supernatural influence, and snapped out of it already. It… wasn’t making me super comfortable re:Martin, because it was putting him back in the position of the caretaker of a moody, depressed person, trying to please/assuage Jon while doomed to fail, without leaving much space to Martin as a character for himself. While he was already beaming again at the end of this episode, and showing his competences for himself, so yay!

I’m surprised that they’re already going on the move – there are still 38 episodes in the season, they already have a goal (going back to the Institute, finding Elias), what will happen after they do?

- … So, I’m guessing those were the people that lived in the village:

(MAG162) ARCHIVIST: “Outside, it is raining. Heavy drops fall, ice-cold and laced with salt; tears of voyeuristic delight from The Eyes that see and drink in all – it sinks into the dry cracked ground, and from the mud faces struggle to push themselves free and breathe. [EVIL MOO / BÂÂ IN THE DISTANCE] [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] They cannot breach the surface, as the slick soil flows down their throats.”

;; Kinda hope that we’re not heading towards “everyone is dead(/worse) or nerfed except for avatars and the MCs, and it will be like that until the end”…

(See, the themes of isolation don’t hit me badly with the current events? But the idea that Everyone Can Suffer And (Not!)Die Except A Selected Few, Mainly These Able-Bodied Male Main Characters Who Have The Tools To Suffer Less is a bit heavier for me.)

- … This bit:

(MAG162) ARCHIVIST: “Something moves outside, struggling to crawl upon a hundred reaching grasping hands. It shudders, and grips the earth, pulling itself along as nails rip free and skin scrapes loose. It is afraid of what it has become, and where it might be going.”

Reminded me of Daisy? It might have been an evil cow, but “it is afraid of what is had become” really reminds me of Daisy…

- Sound-setting wise, I wondered at some point if we weren’t precisely witnessing a reverse-engineering of the apocalypse, since… Jon was “saying” a statement talking to himself in second person (like Jonah’s in MAG160), and we began to hear the thunder in the background (just like in MAG160). Very eerie, very “oh no, something big is happening” moment.

I… am not sure re:what happened with Jon and the “statement”, but it reminded me of the Coffin and his understanding of The Lonely:

(MAG132) ARCHIVIST: Come on… Come on, where I… DAISY: Jon? ARCHIVIST: … Come on… [STATIC] [SHAKY BREATHING] DAISY: Jon? ARCHIVIST: I know… DAISY: Th–the way out? ARCHIVIST: No… I know where we are! There isn’t no out, not here. This is… this is forever deep below creation. Where the weight of existence bears down… This is The Buried, and we are alive… There isn’t even an up. … Oh god… What have I done! What have I done…

(MAG159) PETER: [DISTORTED] Just go. ARCHIVIST: Make me. … Unless you can’t. The Lonely and The Eye aren’t too far apart, are they? Not really. What good’s being alone if you don’t know how alone you truly are. Which means… well, I think you’re worried. You know I’ll find him eventually, and you know I can find you. […] [STATIC] … Or perhaps you could answer some questions. PETER: [DISTORTED] … What? ARCHIVIST: [STATIC INCREASES] I wouldn’t try to leave if I were you. I can See you now. I can find you wherever you go. PETER: Fine! It was just a thought. [STATIC DECREASES] So leave.

Being overwhelmed by a power, until his Beholding-alignment shines through and leads to an understanding of what is happening, how the Fear is operating. So I would assume that the same happened: Jon was subjected to the cabin’s influence, and finally understood what it was doing, which allowed him to gain the upper hand against it, like it had with Peter.

Interesting that the tape recorder which invited itself… chose that moment to record him, although we had mentions that Jon had listened to the tapes we hear many times before. As if the tape recorder knew that Something More would happen this time – or it caused it? (Jon had been able to feel his anchor in the Coffin once Martin had left the tape recorders around, as if they were amplifying his powers…)

- … I’m mostly concerned about why The Eye wanted Jon to come out of it because uh, Jon transforming is… not a good sign, and The Eye seems plenty satisfied with the new world… but also, has been characterised by a constant craving for more:

(MAG120) ELIAS: The Ceaseless Watcher of all that is, and all that was; the voracious, infinite hunger that tears at his soul, invoking him to discover, to observe, to experience all and everything and forever. It stares into him, and it stares out of him, and he is falling into the devouring eternity of its pupil. He wants to cry out in horror, but he cannot. He. is. whole.

(MAG162) ARCHIVIST: “Outside, it is raining. Heavy drops fall, ice-cold and laced with salt; tears of voyeuristic delight from The Eyes that see and drink in all – it sinks into the dry cracked ground, and from the mud faces struggle to push themselves free and breathe. […] This place wishes to be our tomb. But The Eye does not wish that. No. [STATIC RISES] The Eye wishes instead that it be my chrysalis. [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] It is time that I emerge…” [STATIC REACHING A PEAK]

So. What just happened / what is meant to happen to Jon? Is there a distinction between the “you”, “us”, “I”, is this Jon “becoming” in the same vein that Elias was pushing for back in the days:

(MAG116) ELIAS: I have been doing my best to prepare you, Jon, to See. You should hopefully have it a bit easier than the others. ARCHIVIST: Another of my… powers? ELIAS: More… an aspect of your becoming. DAISY: You don’t say. ARCHIVIST: Er… right.

(Lucky that “chrysalis” means “butterfly”, because, hum, if it had been about a moth… We already had Jack Barnabas’s “I just couldn’t avoid being drawn in, like a moth to the flame.” in MAG067…)

- Also surprised by Jon’s sudden burst of “hatred” because? It would be absolutely understandable given what he did to them (+ Elias was the last human to see Sasha, in MAG039…), but it still sounded a bit uncharacteristic from Jon, and very sudden:

(MAG162) ARCHIVIST: No, no, lo–look… I, I–I was listening, and I–I was filled with this… hatred. This anger; I–I wanted to leave, and hunt down Elias, a–and…!

And I’m reminded of The Web pulling someone in a direction, and letting them rationalise why they would want to do this?

(Also, sob about Jon going back to instinctive “Elias” here. His complains about Martin using “Elias” really was the outlier in MAG161, because he was being overall insufferable, uh.)

- BIG new thing is what Jon described with the tape recorder:

(MAG162) ARCHIVIST: This cabin. [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] It’s not right. And, when I thought that, I–I felt… It, it all poured out of me down… into the tape. MARTIN: [SIGH] ARCHIVIST: A–a–an–and it… felt good. It–it felt… right. MARTIN: Okay. [BREATHES IN] So you’re recording again? ARCHIVIST: I might need to. If we’re going to make it…! […] MARTIN: You’re… taking the recorder? ARCHIVIST: Uh, just in case I need to… vent. Again, it… [INHALE] it helps. MARTIN: [INHALE] Okay… [SIGH]

… So it feels like Jon just fed the recorder with an excess. What are they and what is Jon feeding, exactly…? (Interesting that unlike Beholding, who used to suck out energy from him in season 3 when he was reading or taking too many statements… “pouring” himself to the tape recorder made him active and functioning.)

(Also, “to vent”: Jon, you’ve been using the tape recorders as your personal therapists for three full seasons, by now.)

- Martin…

(MAG162) MARTIN: What happened? The tapes, were you– [STATIC DECREASES] ARCHIVIST: I–I was listening, and it… it was the one with… Tim an–and Sasha, uh, where they… MARTIN: Yeah, yeah. … Yeah.

… has listened to these tapes too, uh ;_;

- This was the “Characters Don’t Have Any Respect For Posh!Jon” episode, while! Technically, Tim&Martin had each already done impressions before:

(MAG162) TIM: Well! “Given the incoherence of this statement, I find it hard to believe it ever occurred!” SASHA: [LAUGHS] TIM: “In fact, based on the evidence, I find it highly unlikely this Sasha ever even existed at all.”

(MAG039) TIM: … still working? Ah, okay. Test, test. What are you doing on the floor? Huh. [IMITATES ARCHIVIST VOICE] “Statement of Joe Spooky, regarding sinister happenings in the downtown old–”

(MAG117) MARTIN: I know, I know it’s not exactly intricate, but… it felt good, weaving my own little web. OH, oh Christ, I hope Jon doesn’t actually listen to these. “Good lord, is Martin becoming some sort of spider person?” No, Jon, it’s an expression, chill out.

(MAG162) MARTIN: No, no; I, I know what you’re going to say. [RUMMAGING] “What good are maps when the very Earth has…” and blah blah blah…

Gods, I love these idiots.

- Surprised that “tea” is making its comeback! Is it linked to Jon’s state of mind or Martin’s? Is there a trick or… is it plain, mundane tea, which will remain actual tea because Martin isn’t clinging to it as comfort but just as a nice thing that he is allowed to enjoy – and Jon doing the same by extension?

(MAG162) TIM: Swap in a poisoned teabag, pin it on Martin – the perfect crime. SASHA: [CHUCKLES] And how do you know that you won’t be the one that gets it? That boy makes a lot of tea.

(MAG045) MARTIN: Hey, I-just-wanted-to-check-if-you-wanted-a-cup-of-tea? ARCHIVIST: Aaah… […] MARTIN: Right, right… D– did you want that tea? ARCHIVIST: Nnno. Thank you, Martin.

(MAG065) TIM: And the worst thing? The actual worst thing is that no one here has my back. With any of it! Elias doesn’t care; Martin just wants a tea party; and Sasha… god, and you!

(MAG069) MARTIN: … Look. Jon… when was the last time we all just… talked? Just talked, without all of this– ARCHIVIST: Thank you for the tea, Martin. MARTIN: … Oookay. Fine. [DOOR OPENS] He’s not wrong, you know. [DOOR CLOSES] ARCHIVIST: … [SIGH] [WEAKLY] I know. Statement of… Darren Harlow… [SIGH] [FIRMER] Statement of Darren Harlow regarding a failed psychology experiment at the University of Surrey.

(MAG110) BASIRA: Look, Martin. I know you care. I know you do. But caring isn’t enough. You can’t just stand next to someone with a cup of tea and hope everything’s gonna be alright. MARTIN: That's. not. fair. You don’t even know me. BASIRA: Prove it. We need to do something. Because if we just let him– MARTIN: Oh, h–hi, hey, hey Melanie! I, I, c–can I get you – a – cup – of – tea?

(MAG116) MARTIN: What, I’ll sit around drinking tea until the world ends?! Or– you, you know, it doesn’t. BASIRA: We hope.

(MAG117) MARTIN: Anyway. I guess I’m just… sick of sitting on my hands, drinking tea and hoping everyone’s okay. This way I finally get to do something. It’s gonna hurt, but… I’m ready. And I want to. Also, I get to burn some stuff, so that cool!

(MAG118) MARTIN: So what? I don’t get to be angry? I don’t get to burn things? Just, just run around, making tea, when everyone else gets to actually– have– feelings? ELIAS: Please get to the point, Martin.

(MAG122) BASIRA: Anything else? ARCHIVIST: … Water, please. BASIRA: Sure thing. [DOOR OPENS] ARCHIVIST: … Oh, or a–a cup of t– [CLOSES DOOR] ARCHIVIST: … [SIGH] [VERY QUIETLY] Okay…

(MAG137) ARCHIVIST: Everyone else is… running towards something, or running away, and I… [SIGH] I don’t know what I’m doing. [PAUSE] [SIGH] I’m just tired. Think I might go lie down for a while. Get a cup of tea [HUFF]

(Season 5 trailer) MARTIN: I brought you some tea…! ARCHIVIST: No you didn’t. MARTIN: Uh… What? Uh, y–yes I did! [NERVOUS CHUCKLE] ARCHIVIST: We ran out of tea the day before the Change, you… said the little shop in the village didn’t have any more. Ergo… that isn’t tea. MARTIN: What? No, of course it’s tea, I– [SOMETHING THAT IS NOT TEA SCUTTLES AWAY] AH, AH! AH! [THE MUG SHATTERS OF THE FLOOR] MARTIN: OH! Woah…! Oh… Wha… [HIGH-PITCHED] What, but I–, I–I made that, if– I… Wh… I thought it was– ARCHIVIST: I’m sorry, Martin. MARTIN: [PANTS] ARCHIVIST: [WITH AN EDGE] Things don’t work like that anymore…! MARTIN: Like what?! ARCHIVIST: Like normal. This is no longer a world where you can trust…! MARTIN: What, t–tea?! ARCHIVIST: … Comfort.

(MAG162) MARTIN: I, I actually, eh! I actually found a stash of tea under the kitchen sink– ARCHIVIST: [FOND CHUCKLE] MARTIN: I–I realise, we don’t need to eat or – whatever, but, you know, that doesn’t mean that we won’t… ARCHIVIST: Yes – yes, yes…! It’s… alright. Alright.

(Because if the idea is that, okay yeah, things are terrible, and drinking tea won’t help but EH, they can still have nice things if they decide to, yesss.) (If it’s not: serve it to Elias.)

- I still can’t believe how IN LOVE Jon and Martin sounded in their complicity/marvel of each other:

(MAG162) ARCHIVIST: No, no, lo–look… I, I–I was listening, and I–I was filled with this… hatred. This anger; I–I wanted to leave, and hunt down Elias, a–and…! MARTIN: W–wow, okay… […] ARCHIVIST: Martin… It’s going to be a hard journey. MARTIN: [RELIEVED EXHALE] ARCHIVIST: One– MARTIN: Yeah, yeah, yeah– ARCHIVIST: –in which we… MARTIN: –so, I’ve actually had a couple of bags packed for a while, now! [HEAVY ITEM DROPPED] ARCHIVIST: Oh! MARTIN: And, I found some rope in the attic, and I packed that with the maps. ARCHIVIST: [CHUCKLING] Uh, Martin, I… MARTIN: No, no; I, I know what you’re going to say. [RUMMAGING] “What good are maps when the very Earth has…” and blah blah blah… ARCHIVIST: W– Uh, yes– MARTIN: But I’ve, I’ve packed them anyway because you never know. ARCHIVIST: Martin, I… MARTIN: I, I actually, eh! I actually found a stash of tea under the kitchen sink– ARCHIVIST: [FOND CHUCKLE] MARTIN: I–I realise, we don’t need to eat or – whatever, but, you know, that doesn’t mean that we won’t… ARCHIVIST: Yes – yes, yes…! It’s… alright. Alright. [MOVEMENT] MARTIN: … We’ve got this. [SOUNDS OF PACKING UP AND RUMMAGING] ARCHIVIST: [FOND] Apparently so…! […] We can’t fight the world, Martin. MARTIN: [AMUSED DEFIANT HUFF] Says you. ARCHIVIST: [WITH A SMILE] Let’s go.

Jon wants to murder Elias, and Martin finds it HOT. Martin is competent, was only waiting for Jon as he said, and ready to fight the world, and Jon finds it HOT.

Bonus for arsonist!Martin on the loose:

(MAG162) MARTIN: [INHALE] Okay… [SIGH] You said this place, the–the cabin was… [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND] It, it’s feeding on us, right? ARCHIVIST: Yes… MARTIN: … So should we… destroy it, before we go? [WOODEN CREAKING SOUND, BUT LOUDER AND CONFRONTATIONAL] [DISTANT RUMBLE OF THUNDER] ARCHIVIST: I honestly don’t know if we can. MARTIN: Hm. ARCHIVIST: Besides, there’s… far worse out there. Better to try and avoid it, I think. MARTIN: We’re not even gonna try? We, we’ve got your lighter, maybe we could just–

Martin was quick to understand that the cabin was “feeding” on them, although Jon hadn’t mentioned it (just that it wasn’t right and didn’t want them to leave). So… some of Martin’s studies from season 4 showing off, uh? He’s grown to understand the Fears a bit, I’m really curious about how it will help him/them this season.

  MAG163’s title makes me think of Buried, naturally, but mmMMm. Got also reminded of MAG007, which reminded me of “Joseph Rayner” and the fact that Jon mentioned that he wasn’t sure that it had been the Usual Dark!Rayner, in MAG140? Anyway, still expecting to follow Jon&Martin but the title could also work really well if we were to get a peek of how Basira and/or Georgie&Melanie are faring…

[imyourliquor-youremypoison]

A Girl’s Best Friend (Peter Parker x OC) - Part 11

Synopsis: Diamonds are man’s best friend- or dogs are girls’ best friends, wait… how does the saying go again?

Warnings: Family issues; Peter has a crush and it’s complicated; mention of assault; good dogs; College AU; aged up! characters; TONY STARK IS ALIVE AND WE ALL LIVE IN A HAPPY PLACE CALLED DENIAL

Word count: 2.9k

Part 10 <<< >>> Part 12

MASTERLIST

“Are you sure?” Peter asked again, for the tenth time in a row, except with a different intonation.

“I am one hundred percent sure, yes,” Ned told him, for the tenth time in a row, with a slightly different phrasing each time. “If you ask me one more time, so help me, I will make the call myself and tell her embarrassing stories about you.”

               Peter scoffed and tried to act confident, fists on his hips in a failed demonstration of self-assurance.

“What embarrassing stories?” he huffed, pretending he didn’t know exactly what Ned was talking about – there were many to choose from. “I don’t care, I’m not ashamed of anything.” That was the fattest lie he had ever told anyone, by a long stretch.

“Would be a first. But fine, I guess I can tell her about your twenty-first birthday part-“

               Peter all but lurched forward to slam his hand over Ned’s mouth, despite being alone in his dorm room with no witness to hear the horrible story of his birthday party. To celebrate him becoming legal, his friends went… a little overboard, to put it nicely, and things quickly escalated from slightly over the top to out of control.

               It was a night Peter hoped to forget one day.

               Just then, Peter’s phone rang, and he knew who it was without checking the caller ID because he had put a personalized ringtone for four people: Ned, who was currently smiling under Peter’s hand, aunt May, Tony, and Emmeline.

“She’s calling!” Peter exclaimed, suddenly withdrawing his hand from Ned’s mouth. He put it on his head instead and pulled on his hair, feeling his heartbeat pick up pace. “What do I do?”

“You answer! That’s what you usually do when your phone rings!” Ned said, pointing out the obvious for his anxious friend. “Take a deep breath, don’t let her know you’re nervous, everything’s gonna go fine.”

“How do you know that?!” Peter whisper-shouted although there was no reason to keep a low voice.

“You just said the date went fine!” Ned whisper-shouted back, starting to feel Peter’s panic rub off on him. “What are you worried about? She’s calling first, it’s a good sign!”

“After two days of radio silence,” Peter pointed out, his phone still ringing.

“Maybe she was waiting for you to call first!” Ned replied. Peter gave him a blank stare, which then turned into guilt with a dash of embarrassment.

“It could be about our assignment too!” he deflected, stubbornly refusing to consider she was well and truly calling him simply because she wanted to talk to him.

               Ned took things into his own hands and snatched Peter’s phone out of his hand to answer the call before he could take it back. Peter made wild hand gestures that were undoubtedly meant to stop Ned from doing just that, but it was too late.

“You’ve reached Peter Parker’s office; how may I help you?” Ned said before Peter could do anything about it expect rake him fingers through his hair to the point of hurting himself a little. He was going to change name, move out of the country, and lay low for the next ten years until Emmeline forgot about this.

“Ned, is this you?” she laughed into the phone. Peter could hear it all because Ned put it on speaker so he couldn’t miss a second of it.

               He mouthed “I’m going to kill you” to his friend, who merely shrugged.

“No Ned here, only Peter’s secretary,” Ned said into the phone, holding Peter at a distance with his free arm and one leg too.

“Well, can I talk to your boss then?” Emmeline asked, playing along.

“Oh, I’m afraid he’s busy at the moment. He’s locked himself in the bathroom an hour ago, I don’t know what’s taking him so long in the shower-“

               Peter had put on one of his web shooters and taken his phone back before Ned could finish his sentence.

“I’ll get back at you for this,” he whispered to Ned before attempting to kick him out of his dorm room.

“Hi? Peter, are you there?”

“Uh- h-hi Em,” Peter said in the phone, quickly turning off the speaker mode. Peter resumed his hectic arm-moving and mouthed angry things at his friend until finally he shooed Ned out of his dorm room. “What’s up?”

               Ned was all too happy to leave now, he felt his mission was accomplished.

“Nothing much, just checking in,” she told him, and he could tell something was off by the tone of her voice. “No, that’s a lie. I wanted to ask you something, sorry.”

               Something was definitely off, he had never heard her sound so nervous or apologetic before, so out of her depth. He felt like he was hearing himself.

“Sure, just ask,” he encouraged her, already knowing he would agree to anything she wanted. He didn’t have the kind of confidence or the will power it took to play hard to get. She got him already.

“It’s gonna sound weird,” she warned him. “I meant to ask you way earlier but kept delaying, it’s a little embarrassing actually,” she admitted. He could picture her pacing around her pristine white living room, rubbing her neck, maybe biting her nails. No, actually Emmeline Gerard would never bite her nails. “Also, it’s worse now that we’ve been on a date, like, I genuinely don’t know how to ask that without making it sound stupid, so I’m just going to say it. Are you still there?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m all ears,” Peter assured her, sitting down to prevent himself from anxiously walking back and forth in his tiny room and most likely tripping on some discarded clothes at some point.

               There was a sigh on the other end of the line, and Peter braced himself, not knowing what to expect. What could she possibly want to ask him that required this much introduction?

“Would you mind accompanying me to this year’s Christmas celebration at the Town Hall?”

               His mind went blank, the gears in his brain working as fast as they could to figure out what exactly she was talking about.

“It’s a horrible idea, I’m sorry for asking,” Emmeline immediately said when he didn’t answer right away.

“No- no wait, what is this celebration thing? I-I’d love to come with you, I don’t have any plans!” He jumped from his bed, unable to stay still any longer.

He needed to stretch his legs, and also, he face-palmed himself for the way he had said that last part – as if he only hung out with her because he didn’t have anything better to do.

“Oh, it’s an official thing. There’s a dinner, a gala of sorts, followed by the mayor’s speech on TV. You know, it’s live every year on Christmas Eve,” she explained. “It’s a bit awkward to ask that, I know. My entire family will be there, and I don’t want to sound like the crazy girl who introduces a guy to all her relatives after one date, I just- I swear I meant to ask you weeks ago, and I don’t know who else to ask, and I really can’t do this on my own…”

               The desperation and the hope were clear in her voice, which cracked a little towards the end. That she had a difficult relationship with her family was nothing new, and Peter couldn’t say he was surprised that she didn’t want to attend this event alone. He had never thought that being in the public eye was such a pain before becoming the target of paparazzi himself, although it was his alter ego and not himself that got all the attention.

               But half of his brain was still stuck on the ‘first date’ part, pointing out that it implied a second date was to be expected. Peter’s eyes settled on Tessa’s sleeping figure in the corner, and he thought about all the reasons why he should say no, stay away from the cameras and the mayor, and what if Emmeline brought Bella? His entire cover might get blown up by her dog. How was he planning on dating her without ever meeting her dog? He hadn’t thought that far ahead.

“You don’t have to agree, I’ll just find another way to push through this evening. I get it if it’s too weird, or if it’s not your thing. God, it’s not even my thing, and I’ve been going since childhood-“

“You want me to meet your parents?” Peter cut her off when his brain finally caught up. The tiniest of smirks appeared on his face.

               Emmeline frowned a little, only half sure he was pulling her leg.

“No! I mean yes, I guess, but that’s not the point. Fuck-“ she swore under her breath, obviously holding the phone away from her mouth for a moment. “I’m not asking you because I want to introduce you to my parents, I’m asking because I want you there and they just happen to be a part of this event too.”

“I’m just teasing you, Em,” Peter laughed, picturing the blush on her cheeks quite well.

He didn’t know what was up with that, but she blushed like crazy when he was around, yet he had never seen her get flustered by anything else. Maybe it was another superpower of his. Then again, he wouldn’t be so smug in front of her parents, in front of the mayor of New York city, who was going to glare at him because he was his daughter’s date.

“So what do you say? You’re allowed to say no, I wouldn’t hold it over your head. Trust me, if there was any way for me to get out of this, I would too.”

He swallowed thickly, glancing at his spider-suit hanging on his open closet door. Suddenly, he recalled what Tony had told him days ago, something about the mayor receiving death threats.

Truth was, Peter hadn’t imagined he would spend his Christmas Eve accompanying the girl he liked to an official event broadcasted live on TV while being on the watch-out for possible threats to her father’s life, but then again, nothing ever went according to plan. May wouldn’t like it, but his mind was made.

“Alright,” he said before he could come up with enough reasons to justify saying no – when really it was simply because he was scared. “Wait, it’s official you said, so there’ll be important people. Does it mean I have to wear a suit? I need to find one. Should I bring something? Wine? I don’t know anything about wine but I can ask around-“

               He rambled on about wine for a minute or so, unable to shut his mouth although his brain told him that nothing he could afford would do the trick to seduce Emmeline’s parents if her apartment was any indication of the kind of money they had. Also, should he really be worried about winning over her parents when she so openly talked about her hostile relationship with them?

               He only stopped talking when he heard Emmeline laugh.

“What is it?” he asked, smiling to himself.

“Nothing, I just…” She didn’t finish the sentence, but he heard her chuckle a bit. “Never change anything, Peter.”

 *

 “How do I look?” Peter asked, smoothing over his shirt while looking at his reflection in the mirror.

               Tessa tilted her head then barked.

“Thanks!” He grinned, satisfied though nervous. This brought back awful prom memories with Liz and her father. Hopefully Emmeline’s father wouldn’t turn out to be a villain too, he wasn’t sure he could handle another. “Wish me luck, I’ll need it.”

               When he was sure his Spider suit wasn’t sticking out of his clothes, Peter nodded to himself and put on his coat, ready to go. Opening the window, he fastened his web shooters and jumped off his building.

               On the other side of the city, Emmeline was sitting on her bed, slipping on her heels and scratching Bella’s belly when she rolled on her back to ask for pats.

“It’s the first time I look forward to attending,” she mused to herself. “I just can’t wait to see mom’s face when she sees me; and when dad sees Peter! I hope their champagne goes down the wrong pipe,” she giggled, fully aware of how petty she sounded.

               Truly, they had put her through so much during her childhood, she wished them nothing but a life full of tiny, minor inconveniences that would gradually drive them both crazy, being the control freaks they were. She was done being one of the things they controlled.

               Without thinking much about it, she got up and walked into the kitchen to grab a glass of water, her eyes darting towards her balcony.

               Spider-Man hadn’t shown up in a while, and she was beginning to think maybe superheroes went on Christmas breaks too. A part of her wished he would just swing by so she could give him her best wishes and thank him again for what he did for her – not just saving her that night in the alley but also pushing her to talk to Peter.

               She still hadn’t mentioned her aggression, and maybe she never would, but it had done her the greatest good to open up to someone. To someone she liked a lot.

               Just then, the doorbell rang, fortunately for her – because she didn’t want to venture on this path at the moment. Emmeline would never admit to having ran to the door, but she did. It swung open to reveal a very pampered Peter Parker that she had never seen before but what glad to meet.

“My, my, if I knew you cleaned up this good, I would have told you to wear a suit after all,” she said as a way of greeting, crossing her arms and letting her eyes scan him from head to toe to take it all in.

               She had told him to drop the tux and suit and rather go for a clean, elegant shirt with jeans and dress shoes. He looked fantastic, and she didn’t spare the compliments despite the blatant pink of his cheeks and the way he avoided her eyes. Emmeline smiled larger and chuckled, gently smoothing over a wrinkle on his collar.

“Stop it,” he chuckled, stepping aside to let her through when Emmeline grabbed her coat and bag and closed the door behind them, ready to join that horrid party they would attend. “How can you say that about me when you- you look-“

               He gestured vaguely at her while mouthing a ‘wow’ but didn’t finish his sentence, having no adequate word to describe her. She had outdone herself both for him and to stick it to her parents. They couldn’t act like she was twelve and New York’s sweetheart anymore. Emmeline had grown into a fine woman and she wanted them to finally acknowledge it. She wanted more people to start looking at her and see her, instead of her parents’ daughter.

               Pastel and crème colors had been banned from her wardrobe. She wore a stunning knee-length wiggle dress whose black material caught the light and shimmered slightly. It was plain and elegant and she looked graceful and feminine and Peter’s jaw was hanging slightly open in a totally ungraceful manner until she shrugged on her coat, which made him came back to his senses.

“You’re right on time, as always,” she congratulated him. “I hope your aunt isn’t too mad at me for stealing you on Christmas Eve.” Emmeline winced a little but Peter brushed off her worries.

               Peter blinked a couple times, thinking of the way May had first been upset and argued about the sudden plans, but quickly changed her attitude when he told her it was for a girl – everyone around him seemed desperate to hitch him up.

“She’s fine with me going out,” he said with a shrug.

“You’re a terrible liar.” She laughed. “It’s a quality. Now, off we go.”

“Will you be able to walk in these shoes?” he asked, worried already when he saw the vertiginous heels.

“We’re not walking, silly.” She swatted him with her purse. “A car is waiting for us outside. Dad’s way of making sure I don’t arrive in metro and ridicule him.”

“Would you do it if given the change though?”

“Without a second thought,” she told him, beaming at him as she exited the elevator. The employees all nodded at her on their way out, and Peter felt like he was walking with a celebrity on his arm.

“Anything I should know before we go into the shark tank?” Peter asked her, eyeing suspiciously the man who held the car door open for Emmeline and gave her a sweet little smile.

“Don’t look my mother in the eye and be ready to shake a lot of hands.” She placed a hand on his thigh when they were sitting, and the door was closed. There was a tainted glass window between them and the chauffeur to guarantee privacy.  

               He felt the engine start and the car pull into traffic.

“Yeah, I think I can handle that,” he said, puffing out his chest to make her smile when he felt the tension in her hand. She gave him a tight-lipped smile. “Hey, relax,” Peter tried to reassure her.

               She had been right in saying she was a good actress. Emmeline looked impeccable, confident and ready to conquer the world, but if you took so much as a second to really look at her, you could see the cracks in her façade.

               It came naturally to take her hand in his and bring it up to his lips and kiss her knuckles. She stared with wide eyes, lips slightly parted in astonishment.

“Everything will be fine. I’ll stay by your side all night.”

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Reblog to save a writer

Taglist: @of-virtuoso @the-freefeather @justanothercynicalgenzkid

[princeescaluswords]

That's not kidnapping. But also, the situations you're talking about still don't line up. Stiles was at the end of his rope. It went unnoticed that he was kidnapped and attacked and he was just done. When the trouble started again he showed up. There's a difference between taking a skip day in the middle of a war and being the collateral of that war. So yes, two different opinions can exist.

According to Webster,  to kidnap is “to seize and detain or carry away by unlawful force or fraud”

There’s the scene where Stiles is searching through the principal’s office looking for the Bestiary.   He’s trying to find it and get back to Lydia who he has promised that he would be back in five minutes.

Stiles: Book, book, book. Nothing. Here. Oh m - 

Erica: Hey, Stiles.

The next scene we get is Erica dragging Stiles to meet Derek at the swimming pool of myth.  Derek is waiting for them with a basketball in his hands.

Stiles: Ah! Ah! Ah! Oh. 

Derek: Stiles. 

Stiles: Derek. 

Derek: What did you see at the mechanics garage? 

Stiles: Uh, several alarming EPA violations that I’m seriously considering reporting. 

Derek deflates a basket ball with his claws in an attempt to intimidate Stiles.

Stiles: Holy God. 

Derek: Let’s try that again.

If that wasn’t Derek having Erica drag Stiles to him by force so he can interrogate him, what is it?  What’s a better word than kidnapping?  Gerard dragging Stiles to his home by force was far more sinister and painful, but it was still kidnapping.  If you think you have a better term for it, take your best shot.  (Also – so much for all those people who thought that Stiles trusted Derek by now.  If he trusted Derek, why did Stiles resist telling him about what he saw at the garage.  Or was this the dreaded Banter.)

And here’s why I can’t take your argument seriously – “It went unnoticed that he was kidnapped and attacked and he was just done.”  How can his kidnapping and attacking gone unnoticed since Scott sent him 17 text messages?  Does Scott usually send him 17 text messages in a few hours?  Doesn’t seem like it.  You also seemed to have forgotten a few scenes.  

Sheriff: I got to meet with the medical examiner and try to figure out what happened with Jackson. I’ve got an APB out on Stiles. His jeep is still in the parking lot, so that means - the hell, I don’t know what that means. Um - look, if he answers his phone, if he answers his emails, if either one of you see him - 

Isaac: We’ll call you. 

Scott: Look, he’s probably just freaked out from all the attention or something. We’ll find him. 

(Italics mine.)

How can that possibly be interpreted – no matter how creatively – as his kidnapping and assault went unnoticed?   

Or maybe this scene:

Scott: Is that everyone? 

Isaac: I think so. 

Scott literally tears the door off of Stiles’ locker.  

Isaac: You’re gonna find him by scent? 

Scott: Yeah, we both are. 

Isaac: But how come you get his shirt and I get a shoe? 

Derek: We need to talk. 

Peter: All of us. 

Scott: Holy sh -

(Italics mine.)

This is what I meant about the corrosive effects of the Scott is a Bad Friend trope.  People invent things to be mad at Scott about and then turn around and misrepresent canon to fit their prejudices, so people actually end up believing that Scott simply didn’t care that Stiles was taken and assaulted.

Stiles’ kidnapping was noticed.   His assault was noticed.  Why wasn’t there a scene where Scott talked to Stiles about where the bruises came from or who kidnapped him?  Because the audience had already seen what happened; it didn’t need another scene hashing it over.  The production had established that Scott was determined to find Stiles until Derek and Peter stopped him.

Your disappointment is that Scott prioritized stopping Gerard and saving Jackson over rescuing Stiles.   That’s exactly what Scott did  – it’s called a Hard Choice (something that many people have complained that Scott doesn’t make, but he does.)  And just so we’re clear on why.

Peter: Because if Jackson is dead, it didn’t just happen. Gerard wanted it to happen. 

Derek: But why? 

Peter: Well, that’s exactly what we need to figure out. And something tells me the window of opportunity is closing. Quickly. 

Your absolutely right, the two situations are different.  Stiles decided to sit this one out and ignore 17 text messages in a middle of the clock running down on Gerard’s plan to get an alpha kanima.  As for Scott taking Allison on a birthday trip?  Let’s look at the scene establishing the urgency of the day.

  You have to remember,  Stiles didn’t tell Scott he was going to Lydia’s.  The alpha’s attack happened the night before the trip – and the production showed Scott was investigating!  There had been no attack by the alpha during the day.  There was no reason for Scott to think he was endangering people by giving Allison a happy birthday.  What would have happened if Scott stayed in School that day.  Stiles would have called him and Scott would have done what exactly? Nothing would have changed if Scott hadn’t take Allison to the park – Stiles would have just been less frustrated. 

It comes down to the desperate and quite frankly, morally bankrupt idea that Scott is less than human when compared to Stiles or Peter or Derek.  That he doesn’t have a choice anymore.  It doesn’t matter that Scott was already helping track down the Alpha.  It doesn’t matter that Scott had used his relationship with Allison to save Derek’s arm.   Scott chose something for himself – and thus is a bad person – but when Stiles chooses something for himself (like preparing to make out with a drugged-up Lydia or initially choosing to sit out the final conflict with Gerard) it’s perfectly okay.  Stiles is at the “end of his rope” so there’s nothing wrong with him sitting in his room while Erica and Boyd were tortured but Scott, mere days after being told that he’s been transformed into a cursed, killing monster and that he’s been targeted by an even bigger monster who will force him to kill his friends is not “at the end of his rope” and thus can’t take a day off to pretend to be normal even when no lives were on the line.

Double.  Standard.  

[douxreviews]

The Umbrella Academy - ‘The White Violin’ Review

When it's all said and done, The Umbrella Academy's season finale does what finales typically aim to achieve. That is, for the most part it credibly brings an end to the arcs of Season 1 while setting up and leaving room for intrigue over the murky elements of the upcoming Season 2.

Smack-dab in the center of the finale's conflict is Vanya, who has decided in a matter of seconds that the only road left for her to take is to destroy literally anything and anyone in her way from here on out. Which is...hasty. Evidently, Luther being the only sibling to all but turn on Vanya in the last episode has led Vanya to concur that everyone is now her enemy, which only feels like one of the laziest narrative routes this series has taken yet. For one thing, it's fairly clear that Vanya could see through the isolation chamber that Allison, Klaus and Diego were very much against Luther's decision to lock her up, so right now, Luther should be the only one on the receiving end of her anger. Perhaps it could be argued that Vanya harbors resentment for her other siblings for their neglect of her when they were kids, but because the child actress for Vanya in these kinds of flashback sequences doesn't do much expression-wise besides maintaining deadpan at its finest, it's difficult for a viewer then to get inside this character's head and obtain a read on how they're feeling.

If I may indulge in 'spit-balling' for a moment, a far more interesting climax this finale could have taken is to show Vanya purely going after Luther, bent on rightful retribution. Therefore, the remaining siblings are left to consider whether to let Vanya exact her anger, or insert themselves into the conflict to save Luther and risk being at the mercy of Vanya too. In this scenario, the apocalypse is averted, but the Hargreeves' cohesive image of their family is now what's being put at risk.

Once Vanya kills Pogo and Mom, and destroys the academy, the siblings regroup and plan their next course of action. It's a little odd that this series never condemns Luther for his decision last episode to send Vanya directly to jail without passing Go, as the others seem oddly content now with letting Luther's impulsive ways slide, and instead willing to go along with the groupthink notion. For a while here, much of the episode then begins to feel like the manual arrangement of chess board pieces, in order to push everyone into where they're supposed to be for the final battle; Luther, Diego, Klaus, and Allison escape Commission agents, Vanya prepares for her concert where she intends to amplify her expelled tremors through her violin and wreak havoc, and The Handler gets Hazel and Cha-Cha back on the same page so they can keep eyes on Vanya to ensure the apocalypse plays out as it's supposed to.

My favorite development of the finale is found in the conclusion to Diego's quest for vengeance. While battling Cha-Cha, and knowing that she was the one that pulled the trigger on Patch, Diego decides that taking another life out of retribution wouldn't have been the right way to honor Patch, someone that abided strictly by law and order, and lets Cha-Cha go. Thus, it sets in motion now a refined way for Diego to get past his obstacles come Season 2; without relying so heavily on a solution that involves fatally stabbing the obstacle before you, I'm left intrigued as to what kind of individual Diego will grow into in the future.

In a turn of events that would probably leave even Neil deGrasse Tyson at a loss for words, Allison is able to end it all by sedating Vanya with a gunshot right beside her ear. But the combination of the bullet and Vanya's tremors results in a sonicboom of some sorts that destroys the moon, and causes it to rain down on Earth. So in the end, the apocalypse still occurs, full-circle. I actually see this as a quite ominous visualization of the notion that time is a fixed constant, and that the most drastic of events are destined to play out no matter how much you muck around in the space-time continuum. Earth is supposedly doomed, but Five believes so long as they are alive and given time to think, the siblings can still avert the disaster, and projects himself, Luther, Diego, Allison, Klaus and Vanya back in time to an unknown date. Additionally, Hazel shoots The Handler and also uses a briefcase to transport him and Agnes away to an unknown date, so it looks like, for now anyway, Hazel's gotten the escape from his dreadful line of work that he's wanted.

Season 1 has certainly left us with a few things to mull over until Season 2 hits Netflix. For one thing, Sir Reginald in fact is extraterrestrial in origin, as the episode's prelude would have us believe. Ben has made some progress transcending the barriers between the worlds of the living, and the deceased, so I have personal hopes to see additional interactions between Ben and the other siblings. There's been a hefty amount too of conjecture over just how much we will see of the de-aged siblings in Season 2, seeing that somehow, Five transporting everybody into the past has also begun to affect their physical appearances. I suspect though that we won't have to worry about never seeing the older actors again on the show, as I seriously can't imagine the showrunners would be silly enough to forsake seven performers with amazing rapport next season just to keep the ball rolling with a fifteen-second cliffhanger. Fingers crossed though that Five isn't slowly devolved into just a plot device that can get the team out of any pinch.

I stand by what I said back in my review of the pilot, that The Umbrella Academy Season 1 is primarily a character-driven series, and even if its narrative and plot points can strike me as out-of-touch and peculiar, it absolutely is worth it to keep coming back episode after episode to watch these misfits interact with each other, and I will be doing so once again with Season 2. By this point, I'm more up-to-date with the happenings of the comics but seeing how much elbow room Season 1 had without strictly sticking to the source material, I'd say it's more anyone's guess as to what's in store in Season 2.

Name That Tune:

Another of my absolute favorites from this series' playlist - Hazy Shade of Winter, sung by none other than Gerard Way again - plays through the Season 1 credits. It's also worth it to check out the original sung by Simon and Garfunkel, but Way's cover has this almost-explosive aura to it that is just fine if fast-paced rock is more your thing.

Hargreeves Humor:

Mother: " Excuse me, it's my son Kenny's birthday today, and, uh, wouldn't your son be happier playing with kids his own age? Assuming it's okay with your two dads." Five: "I would rather chew off my own foot."

(Later, after Commission agents appear.)

Luther: "Who the hell are these guys?" Klaus: "Maybe they're here for Kenny's birthday!"

Luther: "Is there any way to silence that voice in your head that screams out to be the center of attention?" Klaus: "You know, I liked you a lot better before you got laid."

--

Aaron Studer loves spending his time reading, writing and defending the existence of cryptids because they can’t do it themselves.