#once I get Ham to proofread it all

[im-no-jedi]

was gonna post the next chapter of my Infested fic today too (cause uhhhh I keep forgetting about it 😅) but nah, there’s been too much official stuff today, I ain’t gonna clog the tags with that nonsense lolololol

[lipglossanon]

I Can Be Your Thrill (Can I Be Yours?)

❀*̥˚─◌──◌──❀*̥˚❀*̥˚──◌──◌─❀*̥˚

subby steobro!Leon S. Kennedy x older fem!reader

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, stepcest, reader is only a few years older than Leon but everyone’s 18+ just fyi, subby Leon, needy Leon, lovesick Leon, big dick Leon 😌, bossy reader, kissing, dirty talk, oral (f receiving), cum eating, unprotected sex, creampie, breeding kink, uhh that’s all I can remember 😆

slightly proofread for once 😯 😆

Title from Flowers by The Neighbourhood

❀*̥˚─◌──◌──❀*̥˚❀*̥˚──◌──◌─❀*̥˚

It’s a lazy Saturday afternoon and you find yourself at home alone, which is always nice. Your mom and stepdad left on some overnight gambling trip leaving you and your dorky stepbrother home. Dorky might be a little harsh you think. Leon’s sort of corny but in that endearing kind of way. 

He tries so hard to be a doting little brother that you’ve developed a soft spot for him. It also doesn’t hurt that he’s probably the hottest guy you’ve ever seen in your life. It’s funny to you that for him to be so much bigger than you, you’re the eldest. You sigh out loud, mentally picturing your younger, tall, buff stepbrother; he doesn’t make it easy. 

Once he and his dad moved in with you and your mom, you both ended up going to the same high school. Since you’re only a few years older, you and your friends used to tease the cute little brother you inherited with your mom’s new marriage. 

Leon was a good sport about it when you look back on those times, he let you drag him everywhere; he even let you use him as a guinea pig for your lipgloss or nail polish testing. He’d sit on your bed while listening to the radio as you painted his nails whatever fun color you wanted to test out, not wanting to use your own cause where’s the fun in that?

You frown to yourself; you used to hang out with Leon a lot until you graduated. Now with a few years of college under your belt, taking online courses while working a part time job, you don’t really see him as much anymore. Your parents think it’s the best thing for you to stay at home, not wanting you to struggle when earning your degree, so at least you get to see Leon from time to time. 

Speak of the devil, you can see from the couch as Leon comes through the front door, kicking his shoes off before he even notices you lounging in the living room. 

You watch with a little smile as you see him get flustered at what you’re wearing; it’s nothing too crazy, but the shorts ride a little high and your shirt’s so thin that you can nearly see your nipples. If you needed, you could argue that you’re relaxing at home so it’s no biggie. 

Also you just love to tease Leon. He’s so sweet to you that it kind of makes you want to pick on’em just a little bit. 

“Welcome home,” you smile up at him as he walks closer to the couch. 

“Thanks,” cheeks pink as he shyly replies, “you just hanging out here today?”

You hum in agreement and bring your legs up to criss cross them, patting the couch cushion next to you. 

“Wanna join me?”

His eyes dart nervously to you then back to the spot before he nods. 

“Sure.”

He sits down but you shift until you’re sitting side by side, thighs nearly brushing. You practically drape yourself on his arm as you throw your legs across his lap. 

You hear him gasp a little as his posture stiffens. Smiling to yourself, you walk your fingers down his thick bicep to his forearm. 

“What’d you get up to today, little bro?” 

He shivers and clears his throat, “O-oh uh s-some of the guys wanted to c-chill.”

His little friends used to come all the time, and would always hit on you. You sort of egged it on just because it ticked Leon off. The last time they dropped by, the suave one, Luis, tried his damndest to get you to go out with him. You hammed it up with giggling and touching his arm, but really just kept it up for Leon. 

Once Leon actually saw what was going on, he grabbed you and tossed you over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry. He walked to your room and dropped you down onto the bed. 

“Don’t talk to Luis,” Leon’s blue eyes narrowed at you, “he’s bad news.”

You raised up to sit crossed legged on your bed ignoring the wetness pooling in your panties. 

“Aww, you worried about little old me?” You laughed, feeling excited at Leon’s attitude. 

“I mean it, sis,” he pouted at you (pouted! ugh it makes you swoon to think back on), “please don’t go out with him.”

You smiled up at him and make grabby hands. A relieved smile crossed his face and he let you pull him down for a hug. 

“Promise I won’t, Leon,” he sighed into your neck at your words, goosebumps racing across your skin. 

“Thank you,” as he pulled back you saw a blush cross the bridge of his nose.  

Bringing yourself back to the present, you ask, “Well did you have fun?” 

“Y-yeah,” his voice is soft, “we met up with some girls from school.”

“Oh?” you press closer to him, squishing your breasts against his arm, “did you hit it off?”

You see his cheeks darken with a blush as he ducks his head down with a mumble. 

“Hmm?” you press closer pushing your face next to his, feeling the heat of his blush. 

“Kinda,” he pulls back, eyes watching you nervously, blush now reaching down to his neck. 

“Kinda?” you tilt your head, baring your neck to Leon, drawing his gaze to your skin, “well did you get a cute girl’s number or what, little brother?”

He closes his eyes with a small shiver, before reopening them with darker pupils, “No, I-I didn’t. A few of the other guys did.”

“Aww,” you cluck your tongue, “better luck next time, Leon,” you reach up and ruffle his hair with a giggle. 

He huffs a laugh, eyes soft as they watch you, “Yeah maybe next time.”

You both smile at each other, soft and sweet, the moment stretching between the two of you taffy thick. 

He sways towards you and pauses so close your eyelashes brush. His chest hitches but before he can say anything there’s a knock followed by the doorbell chiming.  

You’re both slow to pull away, Leon shaking his head as he pushes you to stay on the couch. 

“I got it,” his eyes drop to your chest then legs before dragging back up to your face, eyes serious, “don’t move.”

You giggle and press your foot against his thigh, pushing him away from the couch. 

“Okay, Mr. Man-of-the-house, go see who it is.”

He smiles at you, grabbing your ankle tugging it gently, “That’s right,  so stay here.”

Butterflies light up your insides as he turns and walks over to the front door. He answers the door, but doesn’t move so you can’t even see who’s there. Nosiness getting the better of you, you move off of the couch and sneak over to the door. 

“You cut out early, Leon,” a male voice gripes, “what am I gonna tell Ada? She’s been bitching at me for weeks to get you to show up to this group date and you blow us off?”

Leon shifts his weight to cross his arms as he leans against the door jamb. You bite your lip as you let yourself do a once over of his big biceps and muscled forearms. 

“Yeah, so? I’ll tell you like I told Luis, I’m not interested. Ada and I went out one time and she ghosted me ever since. Why the hell would I want to see her again?” 

You frown at Leon’s back. Ada.. Ada.. Ada… the name seems like it should ring a bell but you’re drawing a blank. 

“You know that’s just how she is,” the voice bargains, “she likes playing hard to get, makes her mysterious or some shit. C’mon, if we head out now we can catch up with’em before the movie.”

Leon’s posture goes cold, “Then fuck off, Krauser. Ada can play hard to get all she wants but I’m not interested,” he shrugs, “I’m not going.”

You take a side step and the floor creaks loudly. Leon straightens up and gives a quick glance at you before turning back to Krauser. 

“Oh, I see,” Krauser laughs, “you got plans with some hot little number, eh comrade?”

You roll your eyes and walk towards Leon, weaseling your way under his arm as he tries to block the door from you. 

“Hi,” you pop up with a grin, pressing your side all against Leon’s, “it’s nice to meet you! I’m Leon’s sister.”

You come face to face with a ruggedly handsome guy who has an air of jock mentality. A slow grin overtakes his features.

“I didn’t know Leon had a sister,” he looks over at him, “shame that it must’ve slipped his mind.”

“Yep,” Leon grit out, trying to subtly pull you back in the house. 

Krauser’s glacier colored eyes rake down your body salaciously, “Why don’t you come along with us? I was going stag tonight so you can be my date.”

You bat your eyelashes at him, “As appealing as that is sauerkraut, think I’m gonna pass.”

Leon’s lips twitch hard to stifle the laugh building in his chest as he finally tugs you back behind him. 

“You heard the lady,” Leon grinned at Krauser’s dumbfounded expression, “have a nice night, Krauser.”

Shutting the door in his face, Leon loses it. He grabs you around the middle and buries his face in your neck as he laughs. 

“I can’t believe you,” he wheezes, “god, he’s never gonna live this down.”

You giggle and rub your hands through Leon’s hair, “C’mon let’s go watch some shitty TV. I wanna hear about this group date you ditched.”

He groans but lifts his head up, pulling his arms back, “Yeah like that sounds appealing.”

You grab his hand and pull him until you’re both sitting on the couch, similar to earlier only now your back is against the arm rest as you practically sit on Leon’s lap while he faces the tv. 

“Spill,” you wrap both arms around one of his and jostle him, “I wanna hear why you turned down a hot date with Ada,” you do a poor job waggling your eyebrows at him making him scoff. 

He rolls his eyes, “You don’t even know who she is.”

“So?” you pout, “dish! I wanna know!”

His hands rest on your thighs, randomly massaging and tracing his fingers along the skin as he talks, “We met up and went out and then she completely ghosted me. Ignored my calls and texts, blocked me on all of her socials.”

You feel a flicker of annoyance that only ramps up as Leon talks, voice sounding resigned—matter of fact. 

“I mean I guess she was out of my league. She was a new transfer, s’why you don’t know her,” he continues, “but everyone was chasing after her and I just lucked up on getting a date with her.”

“Leon,” you say his name softly, wanting him to feel better. 

He keeps his gaze down on your legs as he keeps running his hands along them, “And we also hooked up that night, but then after she just ignored me so I kinda left it at that.”

You reach out with your fingertips and gently grab Leon’s chin, turning him so he faces you. 

“You don’t need someone like that, Leon,” your eyes are heated, indignation making your voice clipped, “that was super shitty of her to do and you definitely deserve better. She sounds like a fuck boy,” you roll your eyes with an angry huff, “actually if you want, we can catch up with your sauerkraut friend and she can catch these hands.”

He laughs at you—with you, sea blue eyes soft and fond, “Mm I think she might kick your ass and then I’d have to kick her ass, which would result in definite jail time.”

You fake gasp, “The audacity Leon Scott Kennedy! I could totally kick ass. You’ve never even seen me fight!”

He laughs again, hands sliding up to your sides to graze your ribs, “Oh yes I have, you try to fight me every time I tickle you and you always lose.”

“I let you win, like a good big sister does,” you sniff haughtily, squirming as Leon’s fingers start to lightly dig into your sides, “you better not, Leon.”

“Or what?” he grins, fingers slowly walking their way down your ribs to dig into your hips. 

You squeal and kick out your legs but Leon just grabs you and drops you into his lap so he can tickle and pinch your sides. 

“Leon!” breathless laughter bubbles out of your throat, “stop! You’re so mean!”

“C’mon fight me off, show your little brother how tough you are,” he taunts, “c’mon, you said you could do it.”

You keep squirming, trying to catch your breath and failing as giggles escape your lips. You try to grab at Leon’s hands but he twists them out of your grip easily and he digs them back into the spots that make you squeal the loudest. 

On one particular jab into your ribs, you rock your hips just right and feel how hard Leons gotten underneath you. He hisses, flushing red all over as he grabs your hips to hold you still—away from his half chubbed cock. 

“Fuck, ‘m sorry,” he looks off to the side, embarrassment and shame radiating off of him in waves, “just give me a minute and I’ll, uh, leave.”

“Leon,” you pull in a breath trying to regulate your breathing from all the laughing, “hey look at me, please.”

He slowly drags his attention back to you, a hang dogged expression on his face. 

“It’s okay,” you whisper, hoping he can tell how much you mean it, “promise, okay? If anything, I’m kinda flattered.”

You smile at him and he gives you a weak one in return.

“Y-yeah? You’re not grossed out or anything?” his small voice makes your heart pang in your chest. 

“Of course not,” you assure him, running your hands through his hair to soothe him, “you can’t help it when you have a warm body rubbing all over you, it’s just hormones at that point.”

His face drops further, “Sure.”

You stop petting his hair and let your hands settle on his shoulders, “Hey I mean it.”

“I know, just that—“ he clams up and looks away again. 

“Leon,” you lightly shake him, “hey I promise it’s okay, it’s not me that—“

“But it is,” he blurts out, hands tightening their grip on your hips, “it is because you’re on my lap.”

“Oh.”

It comes out breathier than you intended but it does get Leon’s attention, eyes questioning and anxious.

He’s not expecting you to move again so you easily rock down on his thickening cock, making him grip you tighter and stilling your movement. 

“What—“

You bite your lip, arousal at the situation making your clit throb and panties wet. 

“Leon,” you sigh against him and grab one of his hands to move it down to your hot cunt, thin shorts already becoming damp with slick. 

His pupils blow wide as you let go of his hand letting him touch you with his broad palm. 

“This is— you’re so—“ he stutters, eyes darting from yours down to where he’s cupping your pussy, “can I?”

You giggle. He’s so adorable right now, so overwhelmed and nothing has even happened. You rock against his palm with another sigh. 

“Mm should probably take this to your room,” you lean forward and whisper in his ear, “gonna get you all wet and messy, baby brother.”

He groans and shuffles to the edge of the couch. 

“Grab my neck,” he directs, grabbing your ass and lifting himself up.

You gasp then laugh, “God you really are strong.”

He somehow blushes harder, “I guess.”

You kiss his warm cheek as he quickly carries you to his room. 

“You are, Leon,” you murmur and kiss his ear, “you’re so kind and sweet,” you kiss his neck, “and handsome.”

He leaves the door open once he enters his room, kneeling on the floor to gently sit you on the bed. Your belly swoops to see him at your feet gazing up at you like you hung the moon. 

“Should we be doing this?” he whispers in the quiet, “it seems..”

“Dirty?” you ask, watching as his eyes study your face, “but doesn’t that make it hotter?”

He whines and presses his face against your thighs, hiding his face, voice muffled as he whispers, “Yeah, ‘m so hard right now it hurts.”

“Poor baby,” you coo and pet his hair, nipples hard and pressing against your shirt as he whines again. 

“Get up here and lay down for me, Leon,” you tug his hair making him lift his head with a moan, pupils dark. 

“You don’t want me to..” he trails off, cheeks so flushed he looks feverish, “you don’t want me to do anything first?”

You smile at him, heat rushing over your body at his sweetness, his neediness. 

“Maybe later, pretty boy,” his eyes flutter at the nickname, “want you up here first, okay? Can you do that? Be a good boy for me?”

He moans loudly, and nods jerkily as he crawls up onto the bed next to you. 

“Yeah, wanna be a good boy for you,” he lays flat on his back, cock tenting his jeans obscenely making your mouth water. 

“Shirt,” you gesture and he quickly takes it off. 

You straddle one of his legs, tapping the button of his jeans with a fingernail, “Wanna get all the way undressed for me, baby brother?”

His hips buck up, “Can’t—can’t c-call me that,” another low moan as he slips his jeans and boxers off, cock slapping against his stomach precum drooling from the uncut tip. 

You sigh in pleasure as you run your fingertips over his thick thighs, “Why not? I think we both know you like it.”

Your eyes finally shift from his bobbing erecting up to his blushing face, “I know I do, baby brother.”

His cock jerks and drips all over his stomach making you smile coyly at him, “Mm see? At least he agrees with me.”

Leon moans, hips humping the air, “Please.”

You move your hand from his thighs to feather your fingertips against his balls before wrapping around his dick. Your fingers close around him in a fist, making you drip once you see they aren’t even able to touch. 

“Leon, you’re so big,” you whisper excitedly, slowly stroking down then back up. 

“Y-you like it? Don’t think it’s too much?”

You drop a kiss to his sticky tip making him groan. 

“Definitely not,” you bite your lip, eyes watching as he keeps oozing precum all over your knuckles, “you’re really big.. but I like it. Gonna stretch me out so good.”

He whines, back arching as his hips fuck your fist. 

“S-she said it wasn’t— that it was too much, not good for—“

Your expression softens as you slow your fist, “Leon, she’s an idiot. Every girl I know would fucking love to sit on your dick.”

He moans brokenly, cock kicking hard in your hand. 

“R-really?”

“Really,” you smile at him and he shakily returns it. 

You go back to firm strokes, quickly picking up speed and tightening your fist around his dick. 

“So good, so g—fuck,” he whines, eyes looking up into yours as you jerk him off. 

“Yeah?” you’re smiling at him, voice sweet, “want you to feel good. You’ve been such a good boy, haven’t you? Such a good little brother.”

His hips jump up as his cock kicks and drools precum all over your fingers, making them stickier as you stroke him off. 

“Wanna be your good boy, wanna be big sister’s best boy,” he pants, eyes dropping back to your hand that’s barely able to wrap around his fat dick. 

You pull his foreskin down to tease the drippy tip of his cock with your other hand making his thighs twitch like crazy.

“F-fuck, fuck, so sensitive, ungh—“

“Leon,” you nip at his earlobe, “I really want to ride your face.”

His cock leaks all over your hand as he whines, “Please, please, wanna eat you out so bad. Sometimes it’s all I can think about.”

You squeeze your thighs together, “Tell me. Tell your big sister what you’ve thought about.”

He grinds his head back against his pillow, “Burying my face in your pussy, and not being able to stop til you’re satisfied, and you just ignoring how hard I am,” he shivers, dick weeping precum. 

“What else?” you whisper, softly stroking his cock. 

“J-just using me as your dildo,” he gasps, abs tightening when you squeeze his cock, “fuck. Yeah, you just using my dick as a toy, not letting me cum o-or making me cum in you and still ride my dick even though I’m too sensitive.”

You moan and kiss him, letting him sloppily lick into your mouth. Leon’s eagerness makes your cunt throb. 

“You wanna nut in me, baby brother?” you moan, jerking him off faster, “cream your sister’s pussy? Mmm so dirty.”

His eyes roll back as you duck your head down to kitten lick the fat head of his cock. 

“S-stop, I ungh, I’m gonna c-cum,” his hips jump up, pressing his cock against your mouth and smearing precum across your lips. 

You pull completely away, not even touching him anymore, to watch his cock throb and kick against his stomach. 

“T-thank you,” Leon’s tear filled eyes look at you with complete adoration, “don’t wanna cum too soon.”

You grin at him, “Even if you cum, I’m not stopping, little bro.”

He rocks his hips up with a low whine, “Not fair that you’re so hot, ‘m gonna blow my load before we start anything.”

You slip your shorts off, taking your panties and placing them around his head— making sure the gusset is right over his nose and mouth. He moans, hands clenching his sheets as his tongue laps up the slick puddled in your panties.

“Isn’t that better?” you coo, climbing into his lap. 

You both moan as you drag your slick cunt over his cock, sandwiching him between your pussy lips so the head bumps your clit on every slow roll of your hips. 

Leon’s hands grab your hips but only to hold you as you rub your pussy all over his cock. 

“So good,” he moans, muffled behind the fabric, “you’re so wet.”

“What, you’ve never had a girl get this wet for you?” You laugh, “I find that hard to believe little brother.”

He shakes his head, “N-no, not like this. Not like you. Fuck, you’re so—“

You arch down, letting his dick catch the edge of your hole before pulling back. 

“I’m so what?” you let your nails drag up from his stomach to his heaving chest, teasing across his nipples. 

His back arches into the feeling, pink buds hardening under your fingertips. 

“You’re so perfect,” he whines as you settle on his cock, “the perfect big sister. So smart and sexy a-and god now I know you have the best pussy.”

Warmth blooms in your chest at just how earnest he sounds, “Really? How many pussies have you actually seen, Leon?”

“A c-couple,” he stutters out nervously, “I’ve only slept with two people.”

“Aw,” you pout at him, leaning up to pull the panties off his face wanting to see his eyes, “I was hoping I could steal your first. Pop my little brother’s cherry.”

He blinks at you, dark eyes adjusting as he blurts out, “You can, I mean the other two times weren’t great to be honest. Just quickies in the backseat of a car.”

“Leon,” a smile stretches across your face, “are you saying we should pretend I’m your first?”

He nods, “Yes, yes that’s what I mean. Please. Never thought I’d get a chance with you,” he blushes all the way down his chest, “but always wished you were my first.”

“That’s.. so sweet, Leon,” the butterflies flare up in your chest again, making you feel bubbly, “did those other girls not wanna take their time with you?”

He grins sheepishly at you, “I guess not? They didn’t exactly call afterwards as you know, so guess it wasn’t any good.”

Your brows pinch, “Leon, you deserved a good first time. Someone should have taken you apart in a bed until you couldn’t move.”

He rocks his hips up against your pussy, sliding against your clit making you moan. 

“Will you?” he pleads up at you, “I know you’d make it so good for me.”

You sigh acting put out but you can’t wipe the smile on your face, “I was going for a dirty quickie, but I guess we can make it sweet.”

“We can do both,” he grins at you trying for coy but landing on saccharine, rubbing his dick against your clit, “wouldn’t mind my big sister fucking me stupid.”

You whine and grind down on Leon, “Next time, you can fuck me wherever you want.”

“In the living room? Wait,” he groans, “wanna fuck you in the shower. Finger you while you jerk me off til everything’s all wet and slippery.”

“Yes,” you pant, grinding harder against him, “you better finger me til I squirt.”

“Fuck, fuck,” he whines up at you, “you’re gonna make me cum if you keep talking like that.”

You bounce on his lap so his cock wetly smacks against your pussy. 

“Oh really?” You give him a teasing smile, “my pretty little brother gonna cum all over himself before he even puts it in?” 

“P-probably,” he whines as you giggle at him. 

“You’re so cute, Leon,” you sigh, stroking his nipples with your fingertips and watching his abs jump, “I wanna cum on your cock so you’ll have to wait on eating me out.”

He mewls, watery eyes fluttering, “But you said you were gonna sit on my face.”

Your cunt throbs, “Mmm save that for later, big boy.”

He bucks his hips, “Promise?”

You giggle and raise up on your knees, “Promise, baby brother.”

He moans, loud and open mouthed. While he’s distracted, you grab the base of his cock and center it over your dripping hole. He drags his eyes down to watch as you slowly sink down his throbbing dick. 

“Fuck,” your brows pinch, “you’re so big, Leon.”

He moans again, hips humping up into your pussy making you squeal as he buries his cock halfway into your wet hole . 

“So good,” he slurs up at you, “pussy s’fucking good.”

You give a strangled laugh, easing yourself inch by inch down the rest of Leon’s thick cock until you’re sitting flush against him. He’s so deep it feels like he’s in your throat. 

“Fuck,” he whines, rubbing his hand over your belly where you can feel his dick throb, “I’m s-so deep.” 

He can’t hold his head up from the overwhelming pleasure, letting it drop down onto his pillow with a low groan. 

“Mmm yeah you are,” you dizzily reach down to feel him bulging your lower belly, “you’re gonna ruin my pussy, Leon.”

“Yeah?” he’s moaning as your fingers stroke over the bulge from his dick, “you like it? Feels good?”

Warmth buzzes in your chest at his sweet earnestness. 

“Yeah, Leon,” you sigh softly, settling yourself down on him, letting you both get used to the feeling. 

“Wanna be your good boy,” he’s grabbing at your hands to put them on his chest, “wanna be good for you, so good for my big sis.”

You push off of his pecs, raising up just a few inches to slide back down making him whine and buck up into your clenching heat. 

“You are being so good, Leon, so pretty and sweet for me,” you coo, “got such a nice big cock for me to use.”

“Yes,” he hisses, “use it, use me whenever you want.” 

“Mmm,” you moan, slowly riding him, dragging out the syrupy hot pleasure between you, “see? Such a good baby brother.”

“Can I play with your tits?” he asks, eyes dark and needy, “really wanna touch’em.”

“Yes,” you sigh sitting back on him to slip your shirt off, breasts bouncing with the motion. 

“God fuck you’re so—“ he squeezes his eyes shut for a minute before heatedly looking back up at you, “god, you’re gorgeous. Lookit those fucking tits, ‘m just, you’re—“

He cuts himself off with a low whine as you grind down in his lap from the praise. 

“Mm y’sure know how to flatter a girl, little brother,” you giggle at his panting moans. 

“S’true,” he gets out, practically drooling as you slowly bounce on his cock, “can’t believe you’d let me fuck your perfect pussy.”

You whine and hump yourself down harder on his cock, splitting your pussy open on every thrust. 

“Leon,” you moan at him, taking his hands and putting them on your breasts, “god, you’re gonna get me addicted at this rate.”

“Good,” he groans, “want you to use my dick anytime you want. Use me to cum whenever, fuck, wanna be your toy, just a dildo for your pretty pussy.”

“Yes!” you arch down, burying his cock deep in your guts, feeling as his fat tip kicks against your cervix making you clench repeatedly down on him. 

“So good, Leon” you hold still driving you both crazy as your fluttering walls milk his cock, “want me to use your big fat cock as a dildo? F-fuck, Leon that’s so hot.”

“Want you so bad,” he gropes your breasts, thumbs swiping over the nipples, “I’ll be whatever you want, just tell me who to be.”

“Oh, Leon,” you clench around him as he tugs on your sensitive nipples, “I like you the way you are.”

Your eyes soften as he watches you with a heavy lidded gaze, “Let’s swap, want you to get on top. Set the pace you like.”

“Y’sure?” his hands keep caressing your chest making goosebumps cover your arms. 

You pull off of his dick with a bitten off moan as Leon lets out a full on whine. Your legs shake a little and you laugh as you fall next to Leon on the bedspread. He turns to you, face light and happy. 

You pull him in for a kiss, tossing your leg over his hip. You trade kisses and giggles, softly making out until the giggles turn into low pants and moans with hips rolling to grind into one another—Leon’s cock dragging across your slick coated pussy. 

You finally drag your mouth away, clit pulsing from how fucked out Leon already looks, “You said you wanted to pretend it’s your first time?”

“Uh huh,” his dilated eyes, sweep over your body and back up to your face, still rutting his leaking cock over and over your cunt.

“Those other girls really don’t know what they’re missing out on, Leon,” you murmur against his swollen lips, “you’re so sweet for me.”

He grins at you, cute aggression making you dig your nails into his shoulders. 

“Is this really what you want?” you whisper, eyes searching his for any doubt, “promise I won’t be mad if you want to stop now.”

“I want to!” he assures you, grabbing your hip to press himself snug against your soaked pussy, dick bumping against your clit making you mewl. 

“Promise, I want it,” he groans, letting you grind your sensitive bud up against his dripping cock, “honestly been imagining this for way too long.”

“Yeah?” you gasp as he lifts your leg higher until it’s wrapping around his ribs.

“Yeah, pretty much ever since I moved in,” he laughs derisively, “pathetic huh. There’s no way you thought of me that way.”

“Hey be nice,” you kiss his lips, biting his bottom one as you pull away, “you were too young for me then so you’re not wrong, but.. well you’ve gotten my attention in the last year.”

“No way,” he surged forward to kiss you hard, then move to your jaw down to your neck, tongue tasting your skin, “god I would’ve tried sooner then. Not wasted my time with Ada.”

“Good rule of thumb is to not mention previous conquests while in bed with another woman,” you pinch his hip, “and I wish you would have, too. But,” you squeeze him with the leg you have wrapped around his ribs, “now I have you all to myself.”

You rock your hips against him, gasping when the tip of his cock catches the rim of your hole. 

“All yours,” he mumbles into your neck, “m all yours, your good boy.”

He ruts his cock upwards and breaches your needy pussy, sliding deeper and deeper into you until he finally bottoms out with a pained groan. 

“S’good every time,” he bites your neck gently, making you hiss and clench around him. 

He whines as he rocks his hips back and forth, cock slipping in and out of your wet clenching heat. 

“Can we stay like this?” he wraps his arms completely around your body, tugging you until there’s no space to go anywhere, your head tucked into his neck. 

You hum in agreement, “Sure, as long as you feel good.”

“It’s perfect,” he moans, bucking into your cunt harder a few times before going back to his softer thrusting. 

“Good boy,” you coo in his ear, “my baby brother is so good for me, huh?”

“Yes, yes, yes,” he chants, grabbing your ass with both hands to hold you against his hips as he grinds deep into your spasming pussy. 

“You serious about being my personal cock toy?” you nip his earlobe, “want me to tie you to my bed with pretty ropes and let me use you all night?”

“Please,” he chokes out, hips rabbiting into your squelching cunt, “I’ve fantasized about that so much. Just want you to boss me around, take what you want.”

You moan, biting the shell of his ear, “Then starting tonight I want you naked in my bed. You don’t get to touch until I say so. I’m gonna ride your face and if you’re good, I might let you jerk off.”

His back arches, a low groan from his chest slipping past his lips, “Anything, anything, please.”

You giggle, pussy walls fluttering and milking his dick, “Oh baby brother we’re gonna have so much fun.”

He whines a high airy note, sounding so pitiful, “M gonna cum soon, so close.”

You roll back, pulling him with you until you’re pinned under his bulky weight, “How do you want to finish?”

His eyes nervously look down your body to where he’s fucking you open, fat cock splitting you in two with each hard thrust. 

Mouth panting, he looks back into your eyes, “C-can I put you in a mating press?”

Slick drips past his cock as you let out a mewling whine. 

You’re nodding before you even answer, “Yes, that’s so hot, Leon. You want to breed your sister’s pussy that bad?”

He moans, “Y-yeah, want to pin you down and fuck my cum into you.”

“Mmm,” you smile up at him, “I’ll let you do that this time since it’s your first.”

He eagerly slips his cock out of your soaking wet pussy and grabs your thighs, pushing your legs up to you shoulders. You loop your arms around your calves to hold yourself open for him. Leon shuffles until he’s in a crouch, dick angled down tip pressing into your hole as your pussy tries to suck him in deeper. 

“Fuck,” Leon whispers, eyes watching as he lowers himself into your greedy cunt, walls pulsing around his thick cock making him lose his composure and bottom out quickly. 

Body shivering, you moan feeling too full. There’s no way you’ll ever recover from having Leon buried in your guts; you weren’t kidding when you told him he’s going to ruin your pussy— he already has.

“Move, please, Leon,” you finally gasp out, his cock feeling like it’s lodged in your throat, “s’too much.”

“Sorry,” his dark eyes gaze at you in worry, “I can sto—“

You clench down on him making yourself squeal before finally gritting out, “Don’t you finish that fucking sentence. Want you to fuck me, Leon. I like that it’s too much. I’ll tell you if I want to stop.”

He nods, pulling halfway out and rocking back down making you whine. 

“Those stupid girls did a number on you,” you grab onto his shoulders, keeping your legs tilted up for him to fuck into you, “but I can fix that.”

“Uh huh,” Leon’s hazy unfocused eyes are trained on where your pussy is spread open, your hole obscenely stretched around his dick.

You smile at him, feeling warmth buzz through your body followed by white hot arousal as Leon rubs against your g-spot just right.

“There, there, oh fuck,” you pant, nails digging into his muscled shoulders, feeling as his tendons flex to hold himself up while pistoning into your sloppy sounding pussy, “fuck, fuck, oh f—Leon!” 

He adjusts his arms, placing one above your shoulder to balance himself so he can slip the other one down to gently rub and tease your clit.

“Good boy, Leon, you’re soo good,” you grind your head back into the bed, feeling too much all at once making your thighs jump and toes curl.

Leon’s so pussydrunk he can’t even form words so he just whines and grunts as he fucks into you harder and harder, the sound of skin slapping filling the room.

“Cum, g’nna cum, too good, fuck, gonna fill you up,” he babbles, brow furrowed as his hips chase his pleasure to completion, “can’t stop, sorry sis, can’t—g’nna cum in you,” he whines long and loud, “fuck ‘m about to cum in my big sister, fuck, gonna breed her pussy perfect fucking puss—“

He drops his weight down onto you making you scream as the fat head of his dick kisses your womb, pleasure-pain zinging from your cunt all through your body making your back bow off the bed. Your eyes are wide and unseeing, staring up at the ceiling as Leon stuffs you full of his cum. His cock kicks inside you as your pussy is completely filled with his hot sticky release. You dimly realize you’re cumming and have been since Leon fucked down into your cervix. 

“You’re milking me so good,” he slurs, pushing his face into your neck, “can’t stop cumming.”

You whine, pussy walls pulsing around his fat cock as you feel thick spurts of jizz paint your insides white. Your hands move up from his shoulders to slip through his sweaty hair, petting him as you both try to catch your breath. Tugging his strands, he lifts his head and you surge up to kiss him, messy and wet. He sighs into the kiss, eagerly licking into your mouth letting spit drip down his chin making it a wet slide of lips and tongue.

He bucks forward making you moan into his mouth.

“God, wanna go again,” he pulls away, lips shiny and swollen eyes bright, “wanna fill you up again, please?”

“What?” your brows pinch in confusion, “what do you—ohh,” you moan as Leon fucks into your spent cunt, cock hard and throbbing again.

“Got me so bricked up, can’t help it,” he pants against your neck, hips picking up speed as he settles his weight down on you, wrapping your legs around his waist, “it’s a fucking wet dream I get to do this with you.”

“Leon,” you moan, tugging his hair but he stays lodged in your sensitive pussy, fucking you deep and fast, “you’re being so bad.”

“Noo,” he whines, not stopping as he fucks into you over and over and over, “just can’t help it, you feel too good, my hips won’t stop.”

“Bad boy,” you gasp as the tip of his dick knocks against your womb, making your eyes roll back in your head and toes curl, “gonna have to punish you.”

“Yes, yes, please, punish me,” he grunts into your neck, mouth open and sloppily licking at your skin, “just don’t make me stop, can’t help it.”

You can only pant and moan as Leon rails you into his bed again and again; your orgasm is slow and heavy making you cry out when it hits you, hips arching and spine curving to get Leon as deep in your cunt as possible.

“G’nna cum again, gonna breed you so good,” Leon sucks a bruise on your neck, “thank you, thank you, thank you.”

He kisses you sloppily as he cums inside your aching pussy, walls milking him until he’s spent. He finally pulls back, cock pulling out with a wet suctioning noise making you both moan. Leon watches in awe as his cum oozes from your fucked out hole, pussy lips fat and swollen. 

You buck up into the wet heat of his mouth as he buries his face in your abused cunt.

“Leon!”

He hums in reply, grinding his face into your pussy and moaning as he eats the cum and slick from your oversensitive hole. You push him off of you with your feet, his face coated and messy.

“On your back,” you harden your tone, “now, Leon.”

He looks at you abashedly but does as you say. You quickly throw your leg over him and hover your cunt over his face.

“Since you need a lesson in listening,” you rock your clit down against his nose making him groan, “I’m gonna let you clean up the mess you made, baby brother. Then I’m gonna cum all over your pretty face. You don’t get to touch me anywhere else and you don’t get to touch yourself. Understood?”

He’s nodding before you even finish talking, “Yes, yes, ‘m sorry, I’ll be good, I swear.”

Your smile has bite as you reply, “You’ll be good if you want to keep tasting this pussy.”

He moans and you sit completely down on his face making his eyes roll back. His hot tongue greedily licks into your sore pussy.

“Clean it up, baby brother,” you coo down at him, “got my pussy all dirty.”

You feel as he groans low in his throat, rubbing his face deeper into your cunt, tongue fucking up into you. You grind down against his mouth, moaning as your clit rubs and bumps his nose.

“So needy, little brother,” you pet his hair, “gonna have to work for it though, pussy is a privilege.”

You’re jostled as he ruts his hips into the air. Giggling, you rock your hips further onto his tongue. 

“Getting close,” you sigh, watching his eyes flutter, pupils completely swallowing the blue, “gonna make me cream your pretty face, baby brother.”

He growls up into your cunt making you mewl, bouncing down on him a little harder. He presses his tongue up just right as his nose catches and bumps your clit making you see stars as your orgasm washes over your body.

“Cumming, cumming, oh fuck,” you whine, riding his mouth as slick gushes from your cunt to fill Leon’s eager mouth.

You let him lap and suck at your pussy until overstimulation makes you raise up on shaky knees. 

“Good boy,” you rub your hand down his face, fingers dancing over his red, swollen lips, “did so good for me, Leon.”

He nuzzles into your hand, eyes completely hazed over, “Mmm good. ‘M sorry.”

“I know you are,” you laugh softly, easing yourself up to lay down next to him, “you’re still getting punished though.”

He shivers, love sick eyes watching you, “‘kay.”

You look down your body and then at Leon, “We’re a mess.”

He dazedly looks at your creamy cum slicked thighs and groans, eyes slipping shut, “You’re gonna make me hard again.”

You giggle and push against his bicep, “Then let’s go take a shower. And only a shower.”

He smiles at you, all bubblegum sweet, “Sounds good.”

[im-yn-suckers]

ponyo

i hate that the pictures dont match color-wise, but fuck it

pairing-bf niki x gf reader

warnings-kissing, cuddling, reader is a little whiny and pouty. eating, kinda sleeping, not proofread, lmk what i missed as usual

"but i wanna watch ponyo!" "so? i wanna watch spirited away!"

you wanted to watch ponyo because you wanted to see how they made the ramen. and also because it was a cute movie. niki wanted to watch spirited away. who knows why, he just wanted to.

truth is, he didnt care what movie you watched, as long as it was Studio Ghibli. he just wanted to see you all whiny and pouty. he thought it was cute. no, he thought you were cute when you were angry.

"fine! how about we do rock paper scissors and whoever wins, chooses?" "fine, but the loser doesn't whine.'' ''ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS, SHOOT!"

your fist was in rock formation, his was in paper. "WHAT?!" he just stood there laughing as a pout came across your face.

"not fair, i wanted to see how they made the ramen so we could make it" good excuse, y/n. "fine, we can do another round." he said in fake annoyance.

''ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS, SHOOT!'' tie. "ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS, SHOOT!" you both pulled paper in the previous round. niki knew you were most likely to pull scissors next. so what did he do? he pulled out paper. (T-T)

''YAYY!" he partially wanted to see you try to replicate the ramen in ponyo. he also didnt like seeing you sad, even if you were being dramatic.

he watched in awe, and when i saw 'in awe' i mean in awe, as you pulled up the movie and ran to get snacks.

he sat down and grabbed a blanket big enough for the both of you. you came back with some chips and a soft drink.

you sat down next to him, opening the bag of chips. niki put his arm around your shoulder, pulled your head near his face, and pecked you scalp. he opened the can of your shared drink and took a sip.

"I-D-I-O-T! B-U-G O-F-F!" "L-I-S-A, I L-O-V-E Y-O-U" " I-D-I-O-T! I-D-I-O-T! I-D-I-O-T! I-D-I-O-T! I-D-I-O-T! I-D-I-O-T! I-D-I-O-T! B-U-G O-F-F! B-U-G O-F-F! B-U-G O-F-F! B-U-G O-F-F" (yes, i did that. Lisa is an ICONIC character in ponyo. fight me)

"why doesnt Lisa understand that Koichi is working and he just cant come home. like yeah, he said he was going to be there but hes your husband. he works at sea! give him a break!" while you complain about Lisa getting mad at Koichi for not being home, niki takes another sip of your drink and licks his lips.

"she's just salty that her husband isn't home all the time" niki smiles and responds to your whines can complaints. "see, baby? be happy that im not salty about you doing whatever." "we're always together!" and it's true. you guys are always together. "i dont care." "whatever. i still think Lisa just wants Koichi to be with her 24/7"

the movie went on and it came to the ramen part. (istg, if yall dont know what im talking about)

"baby!!!! can we make the ramen once the movie's done?? please??" "do we have everything?" "i dont know. i dont think we have green onion" "once the movie's over, we can walk to the store and buy it, if you want" "yesyyesyesyesyes!!!"

the movie ended and you both got up to leave. you walked in, greeted the cashier and headed to get onion. "baby, do we have ham?" "um, i dont know. i'll ask the guys." "no, its okay, we'll just buy some"

you finished shopping and walked home. it wasnt that far of a walk but your legs hurt.

after getting home and making the ramen, you put on spirited away. niki smiled at your action and pressed a kiss to your forehead. you placed the bowls on the coffee table in the living room almost right away and sat next to niki on the floor. he looked at you and hugged you.

the little moments like these made you realize that, niki is your happiness. the coffe table was far away enough for you to climb into his lap, at least until the food was ready.

"are you tired baby?" niki chuckled at you dozing off on his shoulder. "a little, but im really hungry"

"well, the foods ready so we can eat and then we can go to sleep." you got.off of him slowly and ate your food. after, you and niki went to ash up and go to sleep. after all that, you layed down with your back facing niki, only to be pulled into his embrace with his annoyingly strong arms.

he nuzzled his nose into ypur hair and slowly fell asleep.

the end

yalllllll, im back. ive been gone for so long 😭 but i might not be so active tmw bc i need bloodwork done 😓 the doctors didnt ecen tell me why tho. soooooo, whats new?

(i have writers block gimme ideas)

[pandorasprongs]

CHAPTER FOUR | come home to my heart.

'it's nice to have a friend' fic masterlist + playlist | previous chapter

PAIRING: jamie tartt x fem!reader

WORD COUNT: 3.1k

SUMMARY: jamie tries to get reader to forgive him.

WARNINGS: language

A/N: hello! sorry for such a long wait, i've been on vacation. i also haven't been able to proofread huhu but hopefully the interlude prepped ya'll for this moment because a good chunk of this one is from jamie's pov! don't have much to say because i don't want to spoil much hehe but enjoy jamie's comeback!

Losing Jamie for a second time felt the exact same: like absolute shit. Except this time, you were an adult and couldn't sulk in your room all day. So for the next few weeks, — aside from said crying sessions — you've been dragging yourself to all of your lectures and powering through office hours as if nothing happened.

You already told Liv about it the morning after, and after seeing your bloated face and the fact that you had a massive hangover, she decided to withhold her 'I told you so' speech, much to your relief. 

It was unraveling the exact same way as last time and the cherry on top was the fact that Jamie wasn't reaching out in any way, shape, or fucking form. No texts, calls, or anything. 

Every now and then, you'd think about reaching out yourself. It was you who yelled at him that night and told him to leave, but you would shake your head every time. No, if Jamie really wanted to preserve your relationship, he would have to be the one to reach out. You got to say your piece and that's it.

And maybe you were being a little petty, taking down all your photos with him from the shelf and stuffing them in a box with all the tokens from Jamie that you couldn’t bring yourself to throw away, but at least it stopped you from nearly breaking down every time you passed your hallway.

Jamie wasn't taking it so well either, despite what you assumed.

After that night, he had this sinking feeling in him. He knew he fucked up, — ghosting you and treating you like a complete stranger at the pub in front of his teammates, — but it hurt even more hearing you shout and tell him how badly it fucked you up.

To this day, he doesn't know why he did it, really. Maybe it was the fact that he felt guilty for never talking to you after you left. Or maybe you were right; he cared too much about what his teammates thought that he ended up hurting you in the process. But no matter the reason, he ruined one of his most important relationships that night.

So what was he going to do? What he always did. Ignore it. Focus on the season, despite the fact that Richmond has been on a losing streak since the West Ham game. While Jamie might be off his game because of you, he wasn't going to acknowledge that. Just bury it and hope it disappears.

It wasn't until after the fifth match in the losing streak that he got a message from an unknown number he was forced to confront it. 

Hi Jamie. I'm Liv. I'm not sure if (Y/N)'s mentioned me, but I'm one of her friends and I got your number from her phone. I was hoping to talk to you soon when you're free.

So now, he was sitting in a white office like he was waiting for some test results. It didn't help that the person sitting in front of him was in a lab coat, either.

"Sorry, I know it's weird we had to do this in an office." Liv started and Jamie straightened up in the chair. "I thought you'd want somewhere private to talk."

"Right."

"Yeah, so you're probably wondering why I wanted to talk to you. Uhm, (Y/N)'s been a little off recently. She told me about what happened, which I honestly saw from a mile away, but that's not the point." Liv sighs before continuing. "The last time this happened, back in uni, she practically quarantined herself in her room till her parents came and picked her up. She barely ate, and barely talked to anyone. It was terrible. And I can tell that she's on the way to that again."

Jamie's eyes widened, filled with guilt once again, but he said nothing.

Something about his reaction just triggered something in Liv. "Right, so I'm sorry if this sounds rude, but what the fuck are you doing, man?" The footballer moved back in his chair, but Liv wasn't dismayed. "Why haven't you called her? Or even texted or something."

"I," Jamie's completely at a loss for words. "I thought that she didn't want to talk."

"What gave you that idea?"

"She told me to leave that night so harshly, so I thought..." Jamie trails off, realizing how terrible that reasoning is after saying it out loud.

Liv is thinking the exact same thing, causing her to roll her eyes. "Come on, Jamie! You can't actually think she wants nothing to do with you now. She won't ever say it, but do you know how many times I've caught her checking your contact to see if you've sent anything? She misses you and seeing how shit you've been playing these past few matches, I think it's safe to assume that you miss her too."

Despite this woman being a complete stranger to Jamie, he's suddenly compelled to admit, "Just because she misses me doesn't mean that she wants me back in her life. And I don't think I should be, to be honest." She's better off without me. 

Liv's expression finally softens and she looks down at her desk before saying, "She at least deserves an apology."

—

It had been a few days since then, which Jamie had been using to think it over. He knew Liv was right; he needed to apologize. He just didn't know how. And of course, he had to talk to the most emotional man he knew.

"Jamie! What brings you here?" Ted who, despite the team losing yet another game, greeted quite cheerfully. It almost made the football player turn right back around because he wasn't sure if he was in the mood for his coach's relentless optimism.

But he knew there wasn't anyone else he could go to, seeing as you were obviously unavailable, Keeley was way swamped with her new company, and telling his mum would be indirectly telling your parents too. He shuts the door behind him and moves to Ted's side of the office. "Right, um, I was hoping to talk to you about something."

His coach seems to pick up on Jamie's uneasy demeanor and leans forward with a sympathetic look on his face. "What's up, buttercup? Should I gather the diamond dogs for this?"

Jamie, recalling the name that the coaches and Higgins called themselves, was quick to reject the idea. "No, no, I'd rather not have them find out about this. Uhm, look, I know I haven't been doing my best recently,—"

"Oh, we'll get a win soon bud, don't worry." Ted is quick to reassure the player and while Jamie appreciates it, he shakes his head.

"No, I know, but that's not it." Jamie takes a deep breath before continuing. "It's just, I've been a bit distracted recently."

"Is this about a girl perhaps?"

"No," though Jamie thinks about it for a second. “Yes, but no?" Seeing the slight look of confusion on his coach's face, he explains, "A while back, I reconnected with an old friend. She was my best friend actually, back in Manchester. We didn't exactly end on the best of terms and it was my fault. But when we met again, she told me that I didn't need to apologize."

Jamie continued to recount the past few months to his coach, from his blind date to the Bones & Honey incident, along with what he did to you in the pub all those years ago. 

"So now, I don't know what to do. Her best friend said I should apologize, but I don't really know how. I'm not really the best with these types of things." Both of them still remembered how long it took for Jamie to get the team to forgive him when he first came back.

Ted takes a second before responding, trying to figure out the best thing to say in this situation. "You know Jamie, I've always thought the simplest ways are sometimes the best ones. Overthinking things tends to complicate them more. You want to apologize right? How'd you used to do it when you were kids and you threw your little tantrums at each other?"

"Coach, I don't think bringing her chocolate is gonna work this time around." Jamie gets flashbacks to your first-ever argument as kids. Jamie accidentally ate the last slice of chocolate cake that you had unofficially saved and you stormed out and locked yourself in your room for an hour. 

All it took was Jamie sliding a bar of chocolate through the bottom of the door, explaining that he got hungry, and promising to save her a slice of cake the next time they had a party. You ended up sharing the bar with Jamie.

"Probably not. But in all the times you fought, what were the things that got her to forgive you? What did you say that made her understand your side and know that you actually were sorry for what you did? And how did you prove to her that you weren't going to do that to her again?" Maybe if Jamie thought about this advice later tonight, it'll make more sense, but right now, only one question was occupying his mind.

"D'you think she'll forgive me?" He thinks out loud.

"I honestly don't know Jamie, I don't even know who she is. But if you show her how much you care like how you're showing me right now, I'm sure things will be fine." Ted, now standing, offers a comforting pat on the back.

Without looking up, Jamie whispers, "I never meant to do this to her. To hurt her like that."

"We rarely ever mean to hurt the people we love." Ted offers.

Love. Yeah, Jamie thought, he did love you, even after all these years. Especially after all these years. What, with all the 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' bullshit.

"All we can do after is try to atone for our mistakes and hope they forgive us. And even if they don't, at least you leave knowing you tried." Jamie nods his head and thanks his coach for the advice.

As he got into his car to leave the clubhouse, he pulled out his phone. Hi, are you free tonight? I was hoping we could talk. 

He anxiously waited for your reply and started listing all the places he had to pass by before heading to your place if you even answered. But before Jamie even left the car park, you already replied, Sure.

—

Maybe you had been hoping for Jamie's message more than you thought. You were in the middle of the lecture when you got his message, so while your class passed the handouts around, you took the chance to grab your phone and reply.

So now, you were anxiously waiting in your flat, still unsure of how you were meant to feel about all this. You knew there was still anger there, but you weren't sure if exploding on him relieved that feeling or made it worse. A part of you also felt guilty for it too, for not even giving him a chance to apologize in the first place. Maybe instead of awkwardly letting him inside later, you would've been having yet another movie night together.

That's what he was going to do now right? Apologize? You didn't really press on for my details when he messaged you earlier. You just hoped that seeing him again will trigger the right response to whatever he had planned.

You heard the doorbell ring and suddenly, it felt like your heartbeat quickened. You take careful steps towards the door and after mentally preparing yourself for whatever this was going to be, turn the doorknob.

"Hi," Jamie greeted, in the most awkward way possible for a guy as confident as he could. You notice him holding a box of LEGO flowers under his left arm and a pack of chocolate nuggets in his right hand.

In an attempt to lighten the mood, you jokingly ask, "Is your apology just going to be flowers and chocolate?" though it may have come across as harsher than you intended.

"No, but uh, in case you changed your mind about talking to me when you saw me, I thought this would at least get me through the door," Jamie explained and you slowly nodded your head.

"Well, you were right." You take the things from his hand and let him inside. 

You had already cleaned up the place before he came over and hidden all the messy catalogs and test papers in your room for the time being. Its current condition could honestly pass as one of those display sets in department stores.

You placed the items on your dining table before turning back to Jamie who was awkwardly standing in the middle of the living room.

You didn't want to delay this any further. "So, why'd you want to talk?"

"Right," Jamie started, still unable to look you in the eye. "I wanted to say sorry for not messaging you these past few weeks. I've just been busy and Richmond's been on a losing streak too,—"

"Is that really all you wanted to say?" Your tone was soft, but even you knew you were being blunt. You just couldn't handle the sinking feeling of anxiety in your chest anymore and while you might be rushing him, you just wanted to get this over with.

"No, it's not." Jamie closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He moves towards you and starts looking at you intently. "I'm sorry. For everything. You deserved an apology and an explanation a long time ago and I can't go back in time, so I want to do it now."

He pauses for a moment, and when you realize he's waiting for you to say something, you respond, "Go ahead, Jamie."

He nods his head and almost looks like he's psyching himself up before a match. He takes another deep breath before continuing.

"I wanted to start from when I started to get distant. I never told you, but after I started at Man City, dad came back into the picture."

"He did?" Your voice was barely a whisper, and you're unsure if he even heard it because he keeps talking.

"You know how he is, right?" Of course, you did. 

Growing up, you knew the exact times his dad would be coming over. There’d be some beat up car in their driveway and if you looked out your window, Jamie’s window blinds would be down. During the early years, you’d ask your mom to call their house, but after the first time and about a ten-minute call with Georgie, she started telling you they were busy. It was only after that outlying car in their driveway disappeared that Jamie would come knocking at your door, asking to play. He'd have this air of discomfort the first few days, but you were so happy being able to see him again that you’d end up ignoring it.

"Anyway, he was on my arse that whole time. He always had something to say after every match about how I fucked up or, how shit I'd been. Even if I was just sitting on the bench, he still had something to say. It was exhausting," You could tell that Jamie was starting to get angry at the reminder of his father, and without thinking, you reach out to hold his hand. Jamie seems to relax at your touch and when he seems to have composed himself, you let go.

"He would go on about the same things. Don't be soft, it's the fucking Premier League and shit like that. I just, I wanted it to stop. And I thought that toughening up would stop him from him getting under my skin. That meant removing everything that did make me soft, vulnerable. One of those things was you, but I realized now that it was in a good way. As in, I only ever felt comfortable and safe when I was with you." Your eyes widened at his confession and you felt tears threatening to fall.

"But fuck, Dad was really in my head back then. I thought that you were making me weak. And I hated the thought of him calling me that. So I stopped picking up your calls and messages. I just blocked you out.

"But when I started to realize I was becoming a prick, I thought you'd never want to talk to me again. That you'd hate me and it wasn't worth trying to get you to forgive me. Plus, Mum always had great stories about you, so I thought you were better off without me. I guess that's why I was such a prick back in the pub, pretending I didn’t know you. Might as well lean into it if I already lost you." At this point, you were resisting the urge to envelop Jamie in a hug and never let go, but you knew he wanted to finish his piece.

"And I know that it doesn't change the fact that it was a shitty way to treat someone I loved, but it's the best explanation I can give you. I really am sorry." Jamie held your eyes, emphasizing how genuine he was being. Someone I loved, did he really just say that? But he starts again before you can even consider what that meant.

"And, I really am trying to be better. I want to be worthy of staying in your life, if you'll let me. This time, I promise I'll never leave you like that ever again."

You were processing his words and couldn't answer immediately, so Jamie added, "And if you decide that you don't want anything to do with me, then you'll never have to see me again. But I promise to keep trying to be better even then."

You continued to stay silent and Jamie took that as your answer. "Right, so that's all I had to say, so I'll be out of—"

You wrap your arms around him, stopping him mid-sentence. The footballer is slow to reciprocate it, but when he does, you're transported back in time. It feels like you're eight again, and Jamie's football team just won the finals. It feels like you're fifteen again, and you've made up during a midnight run to the grocery after a stupid argument. It feels like you're seventeen again, saying goodbye to the only boy you've ever loved.

"I don't know if I'm ready to forgive you yet, Jamie. To go back to how it was before." You finally answer, and if you're being honest, you don't think you ever could go back. "But I want to be able to," you whisper and you feel him relax even more in your arms. "Just, don't fuck it up and leave again. Because I'd really love to have you in my life again."

"I promise I won't." And this time, you believe him.

A/N: and there you go! the angst is over! (or is it? muahaha) some cameos from liv and ted to help snap jamie out of it :) i had written jamie's apology monologue the same time i wrote reader's angry monologue from chapter three with some slight revisions when i put them in their respective chapters, so hopefully it matches up well stay tuned for the next chapter!!

TAGLIST: @moonflowersandsparkles @faith-alons26 @rexorangecouny @aiyaiy @thegirlthatwantedtowrite @giggling-sewer-ginger @katdahlali @higherthanheroes @guccilongboard @alipap3 @rockchickrebel @ellietartt @shineforever19 @skewedcherries @jamietarttdodo @meg-ro @deepdarkvelvet @taytaylala12 @scaramou @rae4725 @oxxolovemelikeyoudooxxo (couldn't tag you for some reason?)

[vmpiires]

𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐔

„𝐂𝐇𝐑𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐌𝐀𝐒 𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐑?”

CW;; general content. afab!reader, no sex, all fluff and the cute stuff. teen!geto, teen!gojo, no uses of y/n. not proofread so i apologize in advance for any mistakes if they’re made.

: ̗̀➛ art creds by;; currently unknown. dividers are not mine, if you own these, you may claim them in comments.

: ̗̀➛ WORD COUNT;; 1.88K

dark mode recommended

do not copy this plot. i’m perfectly fine with inspirations but give creds. if this plot his stolen in any way, the post will be taken down and you will be blocked.

𝐃𝐀𝐊𝐎𝐓𝐀𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 ✉️🖇️;; since christmas is on monday,, why not make a themed story with the non-sorcerer hater?? in his teens ofc. hope ya enjoyyyyy reblog to support meeeee and if you want more :D

another note: trying a new layout 😵‍💫 i’ll see if i like it or not.

“satoru, no..” geto rolled his eyes. it was christmas time. a chilly saturday afternoon and suguru was going to cook a christmas dinner.

a ham (which he told himself that he’d buy on his own), yams, macaroni and cheese, dressing. whatever popped into his head to cook…another thing for him to groan at when he was struggling to follow the directions. and gojo attempting to bring his nonsense into his home wasn’t gonna solve anything.

“why nottt? you’re bringing that girl over, why can’t i come?” gojo asked. geto wasn’t really listening, he was in the middle of feeding his snake, suguru, which he named after himself because he couldn’t think of anything better and eventually, he thought the name fit.

“geto?”

“ah, sorry. like i said, no. you’ll make a mess and you’ll have kay all pissed off because you keep pulling on her tail. then you whine when she scratches you.” geto finally replied. kay was geto’s fluffy white cat with blue eyes. she loved being around geto and anyone else who he willingly brought around…but with gojo it was a love-hate relationship.

“she jumped on me first..” gojo trailed off. geto sighed, still holding the phone up to his ear. he knew that if he kept denying gojo of stopping by, he’d probably just pop up without his permission anyway.

“hurry up and get here.” geto said a bit sternly despite the small smile on his face. “and would you bring me some saké? i ran out last night.”

“on my way!” gojo beamed before hanging up. geto adjusted his sweater and shook his head as he placed his phone down on the counter. the slim male would put his hair up into his usual ponytail and begin to take everything out of the cabinets that he needed to cook.

kay would meow a bit loudly over the clanging of pots and pans, assuming that she’d get some food too.

“right…” geto sighed. “gimme a second.”

quickly, geto walked over to the cat feeder that he ordered off amazon a couple weeks ago and pressed the button to dispense some food and immediately, kay ran past him to eat her food.

the male felt like he was already about to go crazy because of all the things he had been doing at once. turning on the speaker, geto would turn on a song that he remembered that you recommended to him. he loved hearing your recommendations, even though he never listened half the time and he’d play it off like he forgot.

‘no one knows’ by brent faiyaz began playing from his tv and geto was already enjoying himself while he had been waiting on you and his second guest. he’d light a cigarette as he vibed to the song playing from his tv, sliding around the hardwood floor in his socks.

“one stick of butter…three tablespoons of flour…” geto mumbled the ingredients you wrote down to make macaroni, his index finger underlining each word as he read.

as geto began to cook, mixing ingredients together and tossing the partially finished product into the oven, the doorbell rang. he was kinda hoping it was gojo since he was getting thirsty. his choice was incorrect though. upon his snow covered doorstep, he saw you all bundled up in your cute puffy winter coat, grey scarf with a matching hat.

“hi,” you smiled at him as you stepped into the house, gently stomping the snow off your boots on the carpet. geto hugged you and gently kissed your head.

“hey, you been okay?” geto asked as he’d walk back into the kitchen. you take off your coat and everything you’ve been wearing to keep your warm and put it up on one of the clothing hangers in his closet.

“yeah, i’m fine besides nearly sliding off the road from the ice,” you chuckled. kay rubbed her head against your leg, greeting you before walking off. “you?”

“i just woke up not too long ago. i wanted to hurry up and cook before i forgot and i starve to death.” geto answered. you follow geto into the kitchen, and the place already smelled nice. this was normal behavior for geto though. he always kept things clean and smelling good. he’d freak out if someone (gojo) stepped on his carpet with his shoes on.

“you wouldn’t starve to death. you know i’ll come bring you something to eat…my family cooks still.” you say. geto nodded, barely listening to you as he quickly grabbed out some cups, expecting some saké when gojo made it there.

speaking of gojo, the front door swings open and a freezing gust of wind blows through the house. geto’s head snapped over to the front door and his pupils retracted out of pure shock and slight irritation.

“close the door, dammit.” geto shouted. gojo sprung through the door holding a brown paper bag and shut the door behind him.

“i’m here!” gojo said in a sing song tone.

“hey, jack frost.” you chuckled at gojo’s goofy entrance into your boyfriend’s home. it was a bit funnier knowing that geto was already sizzling in irritation.

“about time,” geto grumbled before snatching the bag from the icy haired male and peeking down into the bag. he pulled the glass from the bag and saw that it wasn’t exactly what he asked for. he sighed.

“i said saké not soju. and what the hell is this?” geto pulled out a treat that was wrapped up and a small paper bag.

“same difference…and it’s kikufuku,” gojo smiled, “i bought one but they gave me two extra. pretty interesting coincidence, huh?”

“you’re a pain in my ass already.” geto huffed, taking a bite out of the sweet treat. he raised his eyebrows, clearly enjoying it. the male held up the treat to your lips, which you would take a bite out of also. it was pretty good. you were expecting to hate it.

“go sit on the couch. don’t touch shit, don’t look at shit, just relax. i’m going to the store to go get a ham.” suguru instructed to gojo but he already had a feeling that gojo just wouldn’t listen.

“yes sir.” gojo put his thumb up before he’d pour himself some soju in one of the cups that geto had set out on the kitchen island and walked to the living room.

geto turned to you, taking a small drag from his cigarette. “you wanna go with me or do you wanna stay with …” geto pointed over in gojo’s direction. you smiled and nod.

“hey, i’m still here.” gojo shouted.

“shut up and drink your soju.”

twenty minutes later, you and geto arrive at the supermarket. the place was busy and geto wanted to be home as soon as he got the ham. while geto wanted to be in and out, you were wandering around, your eyes sparkling at the christmas decorations but grimacing when you saw the amount of krampus christmas cards on the shelves.

“ew..” you mumbled at the ugly art before walking off to find something else to entertain you. after a bit of walking, you found yourself in the bakery section. it smelled amazing. a bunch of fresh cookies and cupcakes were set out on the shelves and you couldn’t help but pick up a couple boxes. surely geto wouldn’t care.

“you’re gonna eat all this?” you heard a familiar voice say. you turned around to see geto who had been holding onto the shopping cart that had a bag, which you assumed was the ham.

“well, no. i was thinking that we have a little christmas party. all the food you’re making isn’t gonna be enough for just you and me…and gojo if you even invite him over for dinner.” you suggest. geto hummed.

“no.” he said bluntly. “eat all that stuff and share with gojo…you know how much he likes sweets and all that other junk.”

you sigh, knowing full well that geto would say no. as much as he liked being festive, he wasn’t going for a full on party. not at his place at least.

“you know what…i’ll think about it.” geto said. he didn’t wanna be a grinch but he also didn’t feel like looking at your sad and mopey face for the rest of the day because he said no to a christmas party.

your eyes light up and a big smile stretches across your lips before you hug geto tightly, obviously excited. suguru sighs but he smiles a bit himself. he couldn’t lie, he did enjoy seeing you happy. why not give your idea a chance?

when you both arrived back home, geto fumbled with the keys for a moment, his hands aching from the cold. when the door was finally unlocked, the cold winds rushed through the door, pushing the smoke that was coming from the kitchen out of the way. geto wasn’t worried because he didn’t smell any burning food. it was probably his incense.

geto was shocked. so shocked he almost dropped the food. he was able to hold onto it. the house was a bit of a mess. suguru was gone out of his terrarium, gojo was nowhere in sight at the moment, and kay…well she was fine. she was sitting on the cat tree looking more annoyed than choso on a wednesday morning.

“satoru!” geto yelled as he placed the ham down onto the kitchen island and began walking around the house quickly to find gojo. “i’m gonna kill him.” you heard the black haired male mumble as he checked each room…even the storage room.

gojo emerged from the dining room with suguru hanging around his shoulders. he had been wearing his round sunglasses and that white dress shirt that had the sleeves rolled up. the male lifted his hand and pulled the glasses down from over his eyes.

“oh. hey guys.” gojo smiled before geto took off his shoe and threw it at the other, aiming straight for the head. you couldn’t help but laugh when you heard the sound of the shoe hitting gojo’s head then bluntly hit the floor.

“satoru…” geto began, “what did i tell you when you first got here?” his teeth were clenched together and he had a smile on his face that obviously wasn’t very friendly.

“um…you said,” gojo paused, thinking of what was said. gojo knew better but he just wanted to make geto even more angry. “you said look at shit, touch shit…and don’t relax.”

“that isn’t what i said you mono-brain celled monkey.” geto hissed. he’d walk over to gojo, taking suguru off of his shoulders and returning the snake to his terrarium.

“you’re lucky i’m not gonna make you clean up.” geto grumbled before pouring himself some of the soju that he swore up and down that he didn’t want to drink because he had a taste for saké instead.

“seriously?” gojo raised his eyebrows before being hit in the head with geto’s other shoe.

“get your ass in that living room and clean this hell hole up. and do it right!” geto glared at the icy haired male but his yelling and angry looks only made gojo laugh.

“okay okay, i’ll go clean. don’t drink up all the—”

“move it!”

𝐄𝐍𝐃.

⋆｡࿇ ·࣭࣪̇˖ 𖦹°༅༚

[lu-vin-it]

Girls Night

── ⋅⋅⋅ ────꒰ ୨ ♡ ୧ ꒱───────

Baby Momma AU

Summary: Sarah has a girls night with Uncle Tommy!

Pairings: Ellie Williams X Reader, Sarah Williams X Tommy Miller (Great uncle/Niece relationship, totally platonic)

Pronouns Used: She/Her

Word Count: 842

Warnings: OOC Tommy, Lots of talk of food

A/N: Ty @stqrluvr for proofreading ily! Also, this was a request but I accidentally posted it before I was done so I lost it :/

“Momma?” You hear, followed by the door closing.

“I’m in the kitchen!” You dry off your hands. Sarah comes skipping in.

“Can I go over to Uncle Tommy’s?”

“Did he invite you over?” She nods.

“We’re gonna make pizza and have a girls night.” You snort.

“A girls night huh?” You ask putting your hands on your hips.

“Just cause he isn’t a girl doesn’t mean we can’t have them! We’re going to watch Legally Blonde and paint our nails.” She wiggles her nails in your face.

“I’m fine with it, go make sure Mom’s okay with it first though.”

“Where is she?” You hum.

“I think she’s out back with your brother.” Sarah gives you a hug.

“Okay, love you!”

“Love you too, pea.” Sarah walks to the backyard where, sure enough, Ellie sat with Isaac.

“Hey, Einstein!” Ellie calls out when she sees Sarah. The 10 year old grins at the nickname. “How was school, bug?” She asks as Sarah bends down to hug her.

“It was good.” Sarah hugs her 5 year old brother and then sits down next to her Mom. “Can I go over to Uncle Tommy’s tonight? We’re going to have a girls night.” Ellie raises an eyebrow.

“You ask Momma?” She nods. “She said yes?” She nods again. “Then I don’t see why not.” Sarah shoots up with a grin.

“Okay! Bye, love you!” She places a kiss on her Mom’s cheek and then runs back inside. “She said yes! I’m gonna pack my bag!”

“Okay, Pea.” You say with a chuckle.

Ten minutes later, Sarah shouts her goodbyes and rushes over to Tommy’s house.

“Well if it isn’t my favorite 10 year old? Come on in!” Tommy says as he answers the door. “What do you have planned for us tonight?”

“I have Legally Blonde and nail polish!” Tommy gasps.

“Well then we better hurry and make this pizza!” Sarah nods ecstatically.

Sarah was given the task of spreading the sauce on the dough while Tommy got all the seasonings out. Once the cheese was added, they picked their favorite toppings and piled them onto it.

“Does bologna taste good on pizza?” Sarah asks, holding up a container. Tommy shrugs.

“I guess we’ll find out!” He grabs it and puts four slices onto the pizza. “Is there bacon in there?” Sarah searches the fridge for a second before her eyes land on the bacon and she hands it to her uncle.

“Ham too, right?” She pulls out a box of pre-sliced ham.

“Is that even a question?” He grabs it from her with fake aggression.

“What about vegetables? Should we put kale on it?” Tommy makes a disgusted face at her which she returns.

“Yeah okay, that was stupid.”

“There might be some pineapple in there that we could add.”

“Are you crazy?” Tommy rolls his eyes.

“Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it kid.” Sarah crosses her arms.

“My Moms say it’s disgusting.” Tommy scowls.

“Yeah? Well tell them I think they’re disgusting.” The 10 year old giggles. “Now, let’s get this bad boy into the oven.” Sarah rubs her hands together as Tommy picks up the pan and slowly puts it into the preheated oven.

Sarah groans and rubs her stomach as she swallows another bite. Between the two of them, they had eaten all but one slice.

“I’m never gonna have to eat again.” She says, her voice strained.

“Nail polish time?” Tommy asks as he rubs his stomach too. The 10 year old nods. Tommy gets up and grabs her backpack before returning to his spot on the couch and handing her it. Sarah fishes the nail polish out. She had a black one and a pink one.

“Where’s Aunt Maria? I wanna paint her nails too!”

“She’s on night patrol, won’t be home till tomorrow morning.” Sarah sighs.

“I hate patrol.”

“Me too, kid, me too.” He holds out his hands for Sarah.

“Pink or black?” He hums, pretending to think about it.

“Let’s go with black this time.” Sarah nods and starts painting.

“Uncle Tommy! Quit moving!” She swats his arm.

“Sorry sorry! You’re taking forever!”

“Patience! Beauty takes time, Uncle Tommy!” Sarah chastises.

Once Sarah is satisfied with her work, she stretches her hands to Tommy so that he can paint her nails pink. And as it turns out, Tommy was not good at painting nails.

“That’s not my nail! That’s my finger!” The 10 year old shouts in horror.

“Oops, my bad!”

The paint is uneven and chipped and she was definitely going to ask you to fix it tomorrow.

“Let’s watch Legally Blonde now.” Sarah says with a yawn. She hands Tommy the dvd and he wordlessly puts it into the dvd player and turns on the tv. “I love this movie.” She says with a yawn.

“Me too!” Tommy says as he collapses on the couch. Sarah snuggles up against him and pulls the throw blanket from the couch’s arm onto them. She was asleep by the time Elle was recording her admissions tape.

── ⋅⋅⋅ ────꒰ ୨ ♡ ୧ ꒱───────

[cevansbrat0007]

Baby Barber Babbles

Summary: Bianca is confused when her baby sister KitCat won’t talk to her.

*Warnings: Fluff, Bianca’s First Words, Katrina’s First Words, Snuggles, Dancing, Sweet Daddy Andy, Big Sister BiBi, Happy Reader, Minors DNI

A/N: Part of my ongoing Growing Pains Series. As always, I’d love your feedback, so please let me know what you think. Semi-proofread. Not beta’d. All mistakes are my own.

___

It was nearly bedtime for both you and the girls. 

You find your husband in the kitchen, dutifully putting away leftovers from dinner. 

“Hi, handsome.” You murmur as you burrow into his side. Tonight you wanted cuddles.

Andy grins down at you as he closes the fridge. “Well hello there, beautiful.  

“I like your face. You are the most handsomest Andy Bear who has ever lived.” You tell him with a sweet grin.

“You like my face, baby girl? Or do you like my muscles?” He whispers before lightly tickling your ribs. “I saw you admiring them at dinner. Don’t think I didn’t notice.” 

“See, you’re going too far now. I was just trying to give you a little compliment to help boost your ego.” You giggle as you bat his hands away. “Stop tickling me! Don’t make me go for your ears, damn it!”

“My bad, honey. Please forgive me.” He murmurs as he flexes an impressive bicep. “I wasn’t thinking.”

 “You know what, Big Man? Once we put the girls down, this baby is gonna need snuggles. Can you provide or do I need to invest in a Pillow Pal?”

“Fuck that shit. I’ll snuggle your cute little ass all day long. Now let’s get our beautiful girls to bed.” 

___

Andy sighs as he finishes rereading Green Eggs and Ham for the third time in a row.

“Alright, my sweet BiBi, it’s time for you to go to sleep now.” He kisses her forehead before rising from her bed. “Good night, little love.” He turns to walk out of the room. 

“Daddy, wait!” She calls.

“Hmm?”

“Have ask.”

“You have a question?” Andy’s little girl vigorously nods her head. “Okay, go for it.”

“Um…” Her little hand goes to rub the side of her face. “Is, is dat, um, how come KitCat no talk to me?”

“What?” Andy moves to kneel beside his daughter’s bed. 

“I talk tah KitCat all dah time, and she no talk back. She maybe no like me? I do somefing bad?”

It takes Andy a moment to put everything together. 

“Oh my goodness. BiBi! You’ve done nothing wrong. Your little sister is just too small right now to talk the way we do right now. But she listens to everything you say. And she loves you. Why do you think she smiles every time she sees you? You make her happy.” He rubs a comforting hand over her little belly.

“I do?”

“Yep. Mama and Daddy are so happy that you talk to her the way you do. Because that is one of the only ways that she’s going to learn how to speak. She needs to hear from her big sister. So we need you to keep talking to her, okay?” 

BiBi nods her head. 

“Daddy? Nuther ask.”

“Go ahead, baby.”

“Did I ever no talk? Like KitCat?”

Now that makes him smile.

“There was a time when you were itty bitty like her. Just an itty bitty little thing. And you didn’t talk. Not with words. But one day, Mama and I were playing with you. And Daddy was making funny sounds. You were laughing so hard - I’m talking about this crazy little laugh that I wish I had on video to show you. And you fell over backwards onto the bed, still laughing. Your Mama sat you back up, and you looked at both of us and said “Hi!”, before falling back over again. It was one of the best days of our lives.” Andy tells her as he lightly ruffles her hair. “And then you never stopped. 

“So just keep talking to Katrina, okay? I promise that one of these days, she’ll talk back.” 

“Kay.” Bianca murmurs as sleep begins to overtake her. 

___

,Three Days Later…

You place Katrina in her highchair while you prepare her morning puree. As soon as you got her settled, you could put some of the breakfast scramble you’d cooked on plates. Andy was working on getting Bianca dressed. 

The older she got, the more you two tended to argue about what she was going to wear. You were too much alike sometimes. But with her Daddy? He could suggest she wear a burlap sack and it would be no big deal.

But you loved your girl anyway. She made up for all her sass with evening cuddles. 

‘I dressed, Mama!” Your BiBi calls out. She comes down the stairs rocking a gray shirt and silver leggings ensemble, complete with a purple tutu. 

“Well, don’t you look gorgeous, baby girl?” You coo at her, because she really was beautiful. “Can Mama have a kiss?”

She rushes into your arms. “Pretty Mama! I wook wike mah pretty Mama!” She smacks a kiss onto your cheek. 

“An’ hi KitCat! How you dis mornin? Play peek-a-boo wif Sissy?” She puts her hands over her eyes before pulling them away and making little KitCat giggle.

You and Andy watch as your Bianca gently plays with your other little baby. You loved the fact that she talked to Katrina all day long. She always wanted to explain stuff and show her things. Or feed her a bottle. There was no jealousy. At least not yet. What the hell? All of the books you’d read had said be prepared for jealousy!

Bianca puts her hands over her face again to keep the game going. “Peek-a-boo!”

Katrina giggles.

And so it goes.

“Peek-a-boo!”

More laughter.

“Peek-a-boo!”

Biance pauses the game when she sees her Mama putting breakfast on plates. “Mama, can I haf’ a waffle wif dah eggs pwease?” She asks. 

“Of course. I’ll drop in the toaster for you in just a moment.”

“Fank you, and Mama -”

“BI-BI!”

You, Bianca, and Andy all turn around and around, trying to figure out where the sound came from.

“BI-BI!” Katrina growls. You gaze zeros in on your baby girl who is strapped into her highchair. You watch as she playfully puts a chunky hand over her eye. 

“Sissy!” Bianca squeals. “Hi, Sissy! You talk to me! Peek-a-boo!”

Katrina giggles and then yells “BI-BI!” once again. Which makes your other baby dance. 

“Sissy talk to me! Yeah she talk to me. Cuz’ love me an’ I love her. So she talk to me! I’s a happy BiBi!” Your daughter keeps dancing, her little limbs flailing this way and that. 

“BI-BI.” KitCat grunts again. 

“I comin’ Sissy! Fank you for talkin’ tah me. We dance summore!” Bianca says as she kicks up a little leg. 

END

[shiningwonderland]

Reiji Kotobuki (All Star) Memorial

Memorial 02 - A Lovely Car

Translator: Belen (twitter: reiharus)

Proofreader: Raine (twitter: amagiyas)

Editors: Mae (twitter: itoshikimaegirl), Noemi (twitter: dreaminbeyond)

The moment our eyes met, I knew it was fate.

“Hnnng, I still can’t resist these curves!”

The new car I've bought from an acquaintance is styled like a green beetle and difficult to handle. The car I had been driving up until now was too worn out and ended up breaking down, which was to be expected. It had been well taken care of, but the engine wouldn’t start anymore, so there was nothing I could do.

I had been driving it forever, so naturally, I grew attached to it. It was sad to have to dispose of it but I couldn’t expect it to go back to functioning normally.

It was just the other day when I told her to take a rest and prepared myself to say goodbye.

However, the truth is that even if you decide to let go of a car, it’s not something you can just throw away as if you were taking out the trash.

While thinking about what to do, the dealer of my previous car came to mind.

I met this green one when I went to ask him about taking in my previous car.

“Uncle, are you around~?”

At the end of the shopping district where Kotobuki Bento is located, there’s a car dealer running a small shop.

The manager is a middle-aged guy who always comes to Kotobuki Bento to buy our lunch boxes, so I also became acquainted with him.

He loves cars more than anything; half the reason he runs the shop is to collect them, so his shop is always full of rare cars.

Every time I visit, I worry about the lack of business because the place looks so dead, but he seems to be content enough with things, so I guess it’s alright.

“Ah, what’s up?”

All of a sudden, Uncle showed up at the window of his home office.

“I have something to ask you about. Is now a good time?”

While waiting for him to come out, I started looking around idly and gazed at the colorful cars.

From luxury cars to small passenger cars and even trucks, he’d really gathered a lot of different vehicles.

“They just keep on comin’~”

Sold cars were nowhere to be found, yet he was somehow able to get more. How the business could keep going was such a mystery.

“The new ones are this one, that one, and… AH...!”

Our eyes met and there was no doubt. That moment, an electric current ran down my spine.

“Th-this….”

My feet started moving towards her on their own, being lured in like a zombie.

“Sorry to keep ya wai—the heck are ya doin’?”

“U-UNCLE, THIS ONE!!”

“Already found it, huh? Just arrived this mornin’. Very stylish, dontcha think?”

“YEAH, YEAH!! IT’S DECIDED!”

“Wha—?”

As I touched the body gently, I could feel her rejoicing too… or that’s what it felt like.

“Decided…? Did ya come to buy a new car?”

“Erm, since my current one broke down, I came to ask if you would take it. But nobody else is interested in this one, right?”

There were no “reserved” or “sold” signs pasted on the green body.

“Ya come to turn in your car and end up buying another, ain’t that generous....”

“Isn’t that good?! It was love at first sight!”

“Love at…? Well, if it’s you, I have no problem selling it, but ya sure? It’s never been driven, but it’s still an old, pre-owned car.”

“I don’t care if she’s been in a relationship before!”

“... That kind of joke doesn’t suit ya.”

“How cruel, something made me want to try and say it.”

I do confess I was hamming it up a little bit.

“But anyway, put the ‘sold’ sign up already!”

I was feeling anxious that somebody would set their sights on it while the whole situation was unfolding.

“Yeah, yeah. Still, this kind of car again?”

“Listen, listen! This retro feeling is just so...! It’s so charming, right?!”

It was so cute that maybe, if nobody else was there, I would have rubbed my cheek on it…. Truth be told, I did.

“HEY! It’s not your car until you’ve signed all the paperwork!”

“Ehhh~?”

My only desire was to bring it home at once.

“Sheesh…. Well, I’m sure she’ll be happy to be bought by such a devoted fella.”

And so, I got my new car.

When helping out with Kotobuki Bento, I would use the light truck or minivan. But right there and then, I made a promise that this car would be for leisure only.

I knew the consequences of a promise like that, but still….

“Reiji, just when was the last time you drove that car of yours?”

I ended up not using it at all, so much so that even Big Sis was shocked.

And even if I got a day off and looked forward to going for a drive....

“... Y'know, Mom, I’m not a taxi.”

“Oh? Weren’t you free anyway?”

“I’m not! It’s the first day off I’ve had in a while!”

“That means you’re free.”

So cruel…. My family always treats me lowly.

“It’s fine. You’re happy you get to go on a drive, right?”

I wouldn’t say that taking your mom to the community center for a meeting with the neighborhood association can be considered “going for a drive.”

… But seeing how cheerfully she walked as she entered the community center after saying she'd call when it was over made me feel a little better about things.

“Alright, even if it’s just for a little while, let’s enjoy a ride.”

As I thought of stepping on the accelerator, my phone rang.

“Hey, hey~ Oh, Ranran? ‘Sup, this is rare.”

It was still eight in the morning and I seemed to recall that Ranran had been up all night on a photo shoot.

“Come ‘ere.”

“Eeeh?”

“Reiji, aren’t you off today?”

“No, no, I’m off but… I can’t make it!”

Judging from his voice over the phone, it seemed like Ranran was very drunk.

If you want to go home drunk, please call a taxi company instead of me.

But even though that’s what I thought, I ended up going to pick him up because, sadly, that’s how I am. You could say I’m a worrywart, or over-protective….

Actually, I take on the same role when I’m at work.

“Come on, Ranran, put on your seat belt properly!”

“Aah? Ain’t this car different or somethin’…”

“Hehe~ You noticed? This is—”

The instant I tried to boast, Ranran’s body suddenly slumped forward.

“Eeh?”

I glanced to my side for a bit and saw Ranran deep asleep.

“You gotta listen to my bragging at leaaast!”

At the end of all of this, even with a new car, the sad reality is that the only people who have sat in the passenger’s seat are my mom, big sis, and colleagues.

I’m pretty sure the car also wants to have a bit more of a sensual use.

BUT! Today, I bid farewell to that bitter past.

“Huhuhuhuuu~"

“I see you’re in a good mood.”

“Sure am!”

I turn back to look at Kouhai-chan, who’s walking a little behind me, obviously with a big smile on my face.

I’ve given rides to different people up until now, but Kouhai-chan will be the first “girl” to ride in my passenger seat.

“Yeaaah, as expected, it’s absolutely fantastic when a girl sits in your passenger seat.”

“Is that so?”

“Yup, yup! And she’s overjoyed too.”

As I open the door to my green buddy, I agree with a “that’s right” in my heart.

[snowdice]

Little Kestrel (Part 41) [Birds of Different Feathers Series]

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Logan & Patton & Virgil (future Virgil/Patton but not in this story)

Characters:

Main: Logan, Patton, Virgil

Appear: Thomas

Mentioned: Janus

Summary:

It was supposed to be a quick job either way. Either Virgil would assassinate King Thomas of Prijaznia or he’d be caught and get executed. Yet, when Virgil gets the wrong bedroom and gets caught by Prince Logan and his future royal advisor, Patton, the job ends up getting way more complicated for the 14-year-old. He also ends up sleeping in a (actually pretty comfortable) closet for a few weeks…

Notes: Implied/referenced child abuse, assassination attempt, knives, torture mentioned, captivity, teenagers being really dumb, sexual coercion of minors implied, a minor offering sexual favors

This is a prequel to Kill Dear. I wrote it 100 words at a time on my blog, but this is the edited version. If you want to see how it was crafted (and possibly some future content), look at the tag proofread stories.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Part 30 Part 31 Part 32 Part 33 Part 34 Part 35 Part 36 Part 37 Part 38  Part 39

Virgil, despite cautiously believing the king’s words, was still half surprised when he wasn’t immediately thrown into the dungeon upon leaving the safety of the walls with the man. He didn’t even call the guards. Instead, he just calmly led Virgil down a set of stairs with a warm, not restraining, hand on his shoulder.

Virgil didn’t know what to think. He didn’t understand how he could not be in trouble for smacking the prince, but he was also cold, tired, and hungry from his days spent in the castle walls. He’d once been used to being all of those things, but now after only living in the castle for a little over a month, they stung a little harder. He even found himself leaning into the kings hand a bit, having missed hugs from Patton and Logan in the last few days.

He’d memorized enough about the castle layout to know they were going in the direction of the kitchen. He also knew that it was midafternoon between lunch and supper being served. There weren’t many people in their path except for the guards and they didn’t even give him a second glance.

The king took Virgil through the same side entrance Patton and Logan often used instead of through the dining hall. Patton’s mom’s office door was closed and instead of going all the way to the kitchen, the king paused to knock on it.

“Helen,” the king called through the door. “Would you mind coming out here please?”

“Just a moment,” was called back through the door and after just a few seconds the door was opening. Her eyes landed on him, and she immediately looked relieved. “Virgil,” she said. “Goodness where have you been? Patton’s been worried sick.”

Virgil bit his lip, unsure what to say to that. He’d assumed Patton would be mad at him too when he learned Virgil had hit Logan, but then again, according to the king not even Logan was mad.

“Would you mind making something for him to eat?” the king asked.

Her eyes snapped to him. “Oh, yes, of course. Virgil, sweetie, what do you want?”

Virgil just shrugged.

“Ham sandwich for now,” she said studying him, “and then I’ll make something more for dinner. Let me go grab your meal preference cards.” She stepped back into her office and grabbed the little box off of her desk full of the cards she always sent with any new food she served Virgil, so he could rank them.

Virgil watched, confused. He never did quite understand Helen with her endless willingness to feed him and to get his opinion about what she fed him with. She always reminded him of Patton with how kind she often was, though she was a little stricter than Patton ever had the heart to be.

There was no sternness to her now, however. She was fussing over him as she led them to the kitchen and started warming water for tea before grabbing the ingredients needed for the promised ham sandwich.

She made him clean his hands of the dirt and dust they’d acquired from days crawling through secret passageways before handing him the sandwich. Thomas at one point stepped out of the kitchen for a few moments but was back quickly with a smile. Virgil smiled back at him hesitantly. He was still surprised he was in the kitchen drinking warm tea and eating a sandwich as the head chef personally fretted over him.

The king also accepted a mug of tea and didn’t even watch over it closely despite Virgil sitting right there in poisoning distance. Instead of looking worried or angry when he noticed Virgil staring at him and his mug, he simply smiled softly and ask him if he needed more tea.

This man… was an idiot.

Virgil had thought that Logan wasn’t careful about his own personal safety, but apparently Logan had actually improved upon his family’s habit of being reckless. Virgil would have to complement him and provide him with more opportunities for growth if he was that willing to grow and adapt.

…If Logan didn’t hate him now.

Thomas said he wasn’t mad, but he could be lying or wrong. Virgil had hit Logan. Virgil knew he’d never been fond of the people who’d hit him. Of course, in this case, Virgil hadn’t meant to do it, but he still had. Even if Logan wasn’t actively mad, there was the possibility that he wouldn’t like Virgil anymore. That was almost worse because people who were mad might eventually calm down and forgive you, but if someone just decides emotionlessly that they don’t like you anymore, that’s a lot harder to reverse.

Logan had always been nice to him despite being a prince who didn’t need to give him the time of day and despite knowing why Virgil had come here. Logan was his friend. He didn’t want to lose that.

He finished off the ham sandwich pretty quickly and Patton’s mom almost immediately set down a plate of cheese and crackers.

“Thank you,” Virgil said softly.

“Of course,” Ms. Heart said, and Virgil jumped a bit in surprise when a hand touched his head, but calmed down after just a moment. It wasn’t that different than Patton, though he wasn’t that used to adults touching him. At least not gently or at all in the castle. “I’m glad you’re okay.” The hand stayed in his hair for only a second longer before pulling away. “Hmm,” she said. “Have you been living in the walls perchance?”

Virgil nodded at her.

“Ah,” she said, wiping off her hand on her apron. “Perhaps a bath would be in order after you finish eating.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he replied.

“More tea?”

He nodded again and she moved to take his mug over to the kettle. He turned to pop one of the crackers with cheese into his mouth and was still chewing when the nearest door suddenly sprung open.

He flinched, looking up to see Logan in the doorway, breathing like he’d run all the way from the other side of the castle. “Virgil,” he said sounding relieved. He’d crossed the room before Virgil had a chance to get anxious and was wrapping him up in a hug before he could do more than lightly flinch in surprise. “Thank goodness you’re okay. Where have you been?”

“In the walls,” Virgil replied.

Logan rubbed a circle into his back and hugged him harder. “I’m sorry,” he said.

Virgil jerked in surprise. “Why are you sorry?”

“I made you run away,” he said. “You were scared of me.”

“I hit you,” Virgil pointed out confused.

“It was an accident. You were having a bad day and I touched you without permission. It was my fault.”

“I…” Virgil said, “but…”

“I’m not going to be angry when it was just an accident, Virgil,” Logan said.

Virgil didn’t know what to say. He tucked his head against Logan’s shoulder and sniffled a bit. “Sorry anyway,” he said.

“It’s okay,” Logan said. Virgil felt a kiss being pressed to the top of his head. “Patton and I were really worried.”

“Oh,” he said. Tears started to leak from his eyes as he sniffled more. Logan just held him even tighter to the point it was starting to restrict breathing, but Virgil didn’t want him to let go. “Sorry,” he said again.

“Hush,” was the gentle response. The hug continued for a long few moments before Logan pulled back to look at him. “You are very dirty,” he commented.

“You’re a bit dirty now too,” Ms. Heart pointed out with a chuckle. Logan glanced down at his front. You could see an outline of Virgil’s body on his clothes.

“Ah,” he said. “It seems I am.” He seemed amused though, and honestly if he wasn’t going to be mad at Virgil for slapping him and then running away and hiding for days, he probably wasn’t going to be mad about that.

The king and Patton’s mom also didn’t seem unhappy with him getting the prince messy when he glanced at them. Ms. Heart seemed entertained, and the king was just smiling.

Virgil felt himself calming down more than he had in days, assured that Logan didn’t hate him and tentatively trusting that neither of the adults planned to lash out at him anytime soon. Ms. Heart handed him his refilled mug of tea and pointed him back at the food. Virgil relaxed fully into his chair.

Until, of course, the door blasted back open, word having gotten to Patton who proceeded to strangle him with a hug and cry at him loudly, but that was okay too.

Want to read more? Click below!

Part 42

Birds of Different Feathers Master Post

My Masterpost

[jeeperso]

D&D Quotes Without Context

Treasure Island Edition, Chapter 11

"I told you Mary, my alchemy jug doesn't make butter. It does make Mayonnaise though, so seafood salad is always an option." “I’m beginning to wish I’d let my girlfriend in sophomore year convert me to vegetarianism.” "Ded try that, once. Then vegetables fight back. Ded not see difference." "Sadly as a fantasy brit, I am legally required to A) have a 90% meat based diet, and B) Be absolutely horrid at cooking." “Let’s get this crab bake done. I got brownie orders to fill.” Janus shifts into Archie and pulls out his axe. "I AM a giant shell cracker." “I saw an all purpose cutting tool at college once. They said it was ‘an elegant weapon for a more civilized age.’ I’m pretty sure they were just a snob.” "There's no such thing as a civilized weapon. Weapons are for when civility fails." "And passive aggression is for making civility fail." Janus: "No no, I teach natural sciences and arcane theorem." Archie: "And SKULL CRUSHIN." Janus: "Yes thank you Archie." "I proofread ifreeti-penned fanfiction."

"Its a step up from logging Zeus' scrying history." "Ded think about being teacher. But Ded's friend Undead say teachers make terrible money. So Ded go into more lucrative profession of pirate." MJ hands out brownies in case anyone needs to die happy. "What I wouldn't give for a halfling with a cursed ghost ring..." "I wouldn't use those, they tend to make you paranoid." "Look alive dudes, we got giant enemy crab incoming!" “Attack it’s weak point for massive damage!” Tamatoa rises from the ground. He is big. He is bad. And most of all he is...

Janus lets out a resigned sigh. "Oh dear this one is gonna be a talker."

Magnus: "Sweet Alhazred, it's getting closer!" Janus: "Dammit Magnus, you at MJ's brownie before we came in didn't you?" MJ: “I said to save that for when he kills you!” "Good afternoon Mr. Tamatoa, we represent the IRS, we're here to collect on your back taxes." Archie leans over to Magnus "IRS stands for 'Idiots rendered severely.'. I may workshop that acronym. Oh better idea: Idiots ripped to shreds." "Have it your way. Time to find out that the only two inevitabilities in life are death and taxes." "I prefer death, she is a nice girl once you get used to her. Taxes is a bit rude and hates small talk." "Ded think Ded meet her once. She look at Ded funny and then leave." "Well there goes our special effects budget for the campaign. The skeleton is a nice touch though." Magnus: "<Another profane rant involving corgis and something about indecisive mollusks.>" GM OOC: Archie is after Cookie if you want to get ready to go ham. OOC: Oh don't worry Ham going is incoming. "You are just full of surprises. Are you a Leprechaun? You have to tell us if you're a Leprechaun those are the rules." "Oh no, he robbed the jewelry store and told them to make him a grill. AND THEY DID." "CRAB BATTLE!" Tamatoa turns to Amber and opens his maw, writhing tentacles emerge and lash out at her. Janus blinks. "Was not expecting that." MJ: “….I’m calling demi-human resources…” *fuck him up for stealing my niche iguana noises*! "Yeah, remember that troll that was holding those talking ponies hostage?" He's back in the naughty warlock box. “This crab has crabs! No wonder he’s mad! No lady crab would date him!” "Medic! Archie needs help and fast!" "Someone get me that special shampoo." “I’ve got Lady Jonni’s body wash! Burn those critters right off!” "Tiny crabs, I bid you, GET THE FUCK OFF ME." The Tiny Crabs obey the will of he who bears the trident and get the fuck off you. "NO! I CAN'T DIE! I'M MUCH... TOO...SHIney...." Looking to the cultist. “So… you goonion?” "If I am does that mean I get out of here with my skin?" “I’m gonna take that as a no… so, you need to talk to DHR.” "... I'm not sure this crab... would actually taste that good.. its probably stringy and judging by its choice of fashion? Tasteless..." "Agreed. It does not matter if one covers themselves with riches if one is of a weak character." “Tell that to my student loans.” OOC: Also why isn't intimidate a Barbarian skill? OOC2: Because most GMs let you roll with advantage when you’re covered in blood.

OOC: And where I’m from anyone doing that while holding a US flag is someone you back away from very, VERY, slowly. OOC2: Don't you live in Alaska? OOC: Yes. OOC2: Pretty sure if someone tried that there they must be part Aesir as to resist the cold weather. I'd back away too.

[complexgods]

Hi! I saw you're reqs were open now, I was wondering if you could write a mattsun x m! reader x maki? Where the reader has a crush on both of them (they r already dating) where the reader confesses to them and they end up fucking or smth like that? with overstim and light dacryphillia? also can I be 🐝 anon?

Of course! Also, you’re my first emoji anon I’m chxjxkdk 🥰 of course you can! And whooo I’ve been meaning to write a Matsuhana x reader fic for a WHILE this is GOOD okay okay

18+, FEMALE IDENTIFYING READERS AND MINORS DNI

Warnings: Matsukawa x Hanamaki x M!reader, alcohol consumption, threesome, overstim, dacryphilia, praise, degradation, Mattsun has a monster cock

A/N: I'm really sorry this took so long! I just haven't been able to focus on a lot recently and I really went ham on the backstory but I hope you enjoy this! (not proofread because I am so tired)

"So glad you could make it!" Hanamaki greets you at the door with a hug.

"Yeah, sorry I haven't been able to hang out recently, I've just been super busy." You try to justify as you hand Matsukawa a bottle of wine.

It wasn't all true that you were too busy to hang out with your best friends recently, you just had… Issues to work through. Specifically the fact that you were in love with your best friends and they were a couple. It wasn't like you never wanted to hang out with them again, you just hoped that spending some time away from them, working through your feelings might solve the issue. But no, of course, the second Matsukawa flashes you that lazy smile or Hanamaki does just about anything, you're right back where you started. You sigh before joining the two in the kitchen, helping them get everything ready for the movie night you had been planning for weeks.

"So, tell us! What's new with you?" Matsukawa asks, opening the bottle of wine you had brought over.

"Oh not much, you know, work as usual. My boss has been on my ass lately and it's driving me up the wall but, you know." You smile, taking the glass that was handed to you.

"Oh, your boss drives you up the wall huh? Shame. I wanted to do that to you." Hanamaki says with a lopsided grin, and you can't help but blush slightly at the shameless flirting.

"Yeah, you wish." You try to retort, but it's too late. Mattsun and Makki were already exchanging glances.

"What's new with you? Find a job yet, Makki?" You divert the situation, and apparently, it worked.

"Nope. I'm happy to be a househusband as long as Mattsun here brings in the money."

The conversation goes on with no problem after that, and you all quickly fall back into your usual banter. You really did miss hanging out with them like this.

"So, what are we watching?" Mattsun asks, turning to you and Makki sitting on the couch.

"I was thinking Woman In Black," Makki says before downing the rest of his beer.

"Perfect." You and Mattsun say at the same time.

"After all, fear is an aphrodisiac," Makki says, giving you a grin. You turn away in embarrassment. Seriously, what has gotten into Makki tonight? Does he know? You clear your throat and try not to stammer.

"Uh- y-yeah I heard about that… as well…" You pour yourself more wine as you sit back. This was fine. It was fine. Makki just likes teasing, he doesn't actually mean it.

"So… You been seeing anyone lately?" You choke on your wine as Matsukawa just looks at you with a raised eyebrow.

"Um… Nope, I have not."

"Why? You're hot and charismatic. No guy pique your interest as of late?"

"N- no that's not it."

"Then what, you have a crush on someone?" Makki asks, his eyes shining with excitement.

Maybe it was the wine or just the fact that you couldn't hold your secret any longer, but you couldn't help yourself.

"Yeah, I do, actually."

"Ooooh who is it?" Both of them ask at the same time. You couldn't help but realise that they already know.

"You sure you want to know?" You turn your body to fully face the two, who are nodding with a smirk on their face.

"Fine. I have a crush on both of you. Satisfied?"

"Oh no, honey, we won't be satisfied until you are," Makki says, leaning closer to you.

"You see, we've been wanting to wreck you for a really long time," Mattsun says as Makki makes his way over to your lap, straddling you.

"Really?" You ask, looking up at Makki with big eyes.

"Mhm." He answers before leaning in to kiss you.

"God, you're so hot," Mattsun says from right next to you as Makki deepens the kiss, slowly starting to grind his hips into yours. When you let out a soft moan, Mattsun stops the two of you.

"Don't just hog him, Makki. I want some as well." Makki immediately gets up to let Mattsun take his place, pulling at your hair before kissing you deeply.

At some point, you must've walked over to the bedroom, because now you're lying naked on their bed with Makki on top of you, kissing and biting your neck and collarbone. You groan when Makki grinds down on your length, bucking your hips involuntarily, closing your eyes.

"Oh look at you, so needy for cock, aren't you? Prep him, won't you, Makki darling?" Matsukawa coos as you hear the clinking of a belt.

Seconds later, Mattsun taps the tip of his cock against your lips, and once you manage to focus your eyes on the absolute monstrosity before you, you can't help but choke out another moan.

"So big-" You say with wide eyes as you reach out to touch him.

"Hm. Wonder what it would look like stretching your throat open." Makki says from between your legs before adding a second finger to your hole, making you gasp. Mattsun takes this opportunity to slide inside your mouth, making you gag instantly.

"Come on now, take it, I know you can."

You obey, letting him thrust into you until tears were stinging your eyes.

"Oh, Makki, look at that. He's crying."

"Look at you! Cute boy." Makki praises as he swipes the pre that started to pool on your stomach, licking his fingers clean.

"You taste wonderful, baby. Gonna make you cum from my fingers alone." You want to respond, but Mattsun thrusts into your throat harshly, groaning as you take even more of him.

Once Makki finds your prostate, you are gone, rolling your eyes to the back of your head, cumming untouched.

"Wow, look at that. Such a slut just cumming untouched, aren't you?" You do your best to hum in agreement, which makes Mattsun's dick twitch in your mouth.

"God, your mouth feels so good. I wonder what your little hole would feel like, tightening around my cock."

As Mattsun says this, you feel lube coating your hole before Makki slides inside you, letting out a shaky breath. You whine, still feeling the high from your first orgasm.

"That's right, baby, doing so well for us." Makki coos, thrusting into you, filling you up to the brim.

One hand wraps around your dick and another starts teasing your nipples, and you are too far gone to notice anything else happening. All you know are Mattsun's dick in your mouth, and Makki's in your hole.

"Shit, I'm close," Mattsun moans as he pulls out, cumming all over your face. He kisses you deeply as Makki fucks into you relentlessly, pumping your cock in time with his thrusts.

"Are you gonna cum again? I can feel you twitching, you're close aren't you?" Makki says as he picks up the pace, slamming into you.

You both come at the same time, moaning loudly as you spill onto your stomach, your entire body twitching and feeling overly sensitive from the overstim.

Once you regain your breath, Makki slowly pulls out of you with a hiss, disposing of the condom before laying down next to you and Mattsun.

"Wanna watch Woman In Black now?"

[im-no-jedi]

MLWTBB: First Time For Everything

aka the (continued) journey into my self insert nonsense✨

chapter summary: the eventful night is over, and Hannah and Hunter are ready to go home, but neither of them are finished confessing to each other quite yet...

notes: this is a continuation of my story, “My Life With The Bad Batch”; I highly recommend reading that first before this one! I created a few new planets for this story. I’m also not 100% versed in SW terminology, so forgive me if some things are labeled incorrectly! each chapter will be rated accordingly, as opposed to the overall fic. lastly, there is romance in this story. hope you enjoy! 💙

add. notes: this chapter was edited and proofread by my sis @jam-n-ham! thanks sis!! 😋💙

closing message: and here we are, the end of yet another long, multi-chapter fic. it was a huge deal for me when I finished MLWTBB earlier this year, and although I said I planned on continuing the series, I honestly was unsure if I would make it this far. but I did! and I have a LOT more to come! so thank you everyone who took time to read this (as well as all of my other stories!), and I hope you all look forward to the further adventures of me and TBB! 💙💙💙

Chapter 19 (Final), 3200+ words, rated T (mostly just for smooching and a smidge of suggestive things 😋)

previous chapters: Prologue - Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Chapter 11 - Chapter 12 - Chapter 13 - Chapter 14 - Chapter 15 - Chapter 16 - Chapter 17 - Chapter 18

✨MLWTBB masterlist✨

______________________________________________________________

The walk back to Hannah’s apartment wasn’t going to be quick, by any means. Even if there had been no threat of danger, it was still quite a distance between the watchtower and the apartment building. It was already quite late as well, and Hannah had definitely begun feeling the effects of physically exerting herself for most of the night. But as to be expected, Hunter took the lead and held Hannah by the hand, guiding her back through the dark streets of Ord Mantell with an air of caution and care.

Unsurprisingly, the trip was quiet for the most part. Even if they didn’t both enjoy the silence so much, Hannah’s fatigue made her even less talkative than normal. They didn’t go entirely without speaking to each other though. Hannah still had some questions she wanted answered.

“So, be honest,” Hannah began. “What was the first thing that attracted you to me? Physical or not, doesn’t matter, just the first thing that, like, made your heart flutter or whatever.”

“Oh man,” Hunter replied, scratching the back of his neck. “Uhh... probably your smile, I think.”

“Aww, really?”

“Yeah, you have a cute smile. And believe it or not, as sensitive as I am to sound, I really love hearin’ you laugh.”

Almost like she wanted to prove it, Hannah broke out into a fit of laughter. She covered her mouth to soften the loudness of it, but like usual, her laugh was almost too much to muffle.

“Dare I ask what part of me you were most attracted to first?” Hunter asked once Hannah’s laughter had died down.

“Oh gosh, I mean, I was pretty smitten with you right away. Even through the armor. Your body is... fantastic.” Hannah bit her lip and ran a hand along the back of Hunter’s shoulders, causing him to shiver a bit. “But also, like... you are stupidly handsome, dude. Tattoo or not.”

A flustered blush broke out on Hunter’s face and he cleared his throat. “You think so, huh?”

“Oh absolutely. I’m genuinely shocked you haven’t had girls flocking to you up until now.”

Hunter looked torn. Clearly, he wasn’t used to hearing such things. “Well, lucky you, I guess.”

There was no way he could fully hide anything from Hannah anymore, and her eyes squinted a bit as she studied Hunter’s face. “You don’t believe me, do you? Or should I say, you don’t agree with me?”  

“I mean... not really,” Hunter replied with a shrug.

Hannah scoffed. “And you get on my case all the time about disliking my own appearance?”

“Hey, isn’t it a good thing that we find each other attractive? Can’t that be enough?” Hunter’s tone was borderline irritated, and it both saddened and frustrated Hannah to hear.

A moment of silence went by before Hannah said anything else. “Have you always thought that way about yourself? Or was it because... others told you that?”

Hunter kept his face turned away from her as he spoke. “Bit of both, I guess... I try to not let other’s opinions of me affect me too much, but... I dunno, it’s a bit harder hearin’ it when you’re a kid...”

Immediately, Hannah wrapped her arms around Hunter’s waist and snuggled her face into his shoulder. “I’m sorry, babe...”

Hunter said nothing and just wrapped an arm around her, keeping her close as they continued to walk.

After another short period of silence, Hannah asked if she could ask another question. Hunter didn’t mind at all; he was still happy to answer her questions.

“Alright, so...” Hannah sighed and laughed a bit. “I’m probably the most curious about this above everything else. But it’s ok if you don’t have an answer for it.”

Now Hunter was genuinely curious to know what the question was.

“Do you... do you remember... or do you know in general...” Hannah sighed again. “Sorry, lemme start over. Do you know... hmm... no...” She cleared her throat. “What... what was the moment where you... where you knew... you know?”

Hunter had been holding back a snicker and finally let it out. “I don’t... Knew what?”

Redness began to show on Hannah’s cheeks, and she bit her lip in contemplation while looking down at the ground. “You know... when you fell in love with me?”

Hunter’s face immediately softened. “Oh... umm...” He went quiet for a moment to ponder the question. “I think I do, yeah. It was a while ago, actually.”

“Yeah?” Hannah’s face lit up. “Me too.”

“Oh yeah? How long?”

Hannah chuckled a bit out of embarrassment. “Since... Volruna...”

Hunter’s eyes went wide. “Really?”

“Yeah...”

“Oh... well... me too.”

Now Hannah’s eyes went wide. “Oh my gosh, seriously?”

“Thinkin’ about it... yeah. I’ve been in love with you since Volruna.”

If Hannah’s heart could’ve burst out of her chest, it would have. She clutched Hunter’s hand to her chest and looked at him adoringly. “I’ve loved you since Volruna too...”

For a moment, they just stared at each other lovingly, with Hannah keeping Hunter’s hand close to her chest. He could feel her heartbeat and it gave him a sense of calm he’d never experienced before.

“What was the moment?” Hannah eventually asked. “The moment where... you just knew.”

Hunter took in a breath through his nose and thought for a moment. “The Prism Palace... it was at the Prism Palace.”

Hannah blinked in surprise. “Really? Oh... was it when I gave you that little...” She leaned up and gave him a quick kiss on the side of his mouth, and he chuckled.

“No, but that was nice, thanks.” Hunter gave Hannah a little squeeze, which made her giggle. “Nah, it was... it was right before that actually.”

Now Hannah was even more curious and watched Hunter intently as he spoke.

“Everything that had happened up until then was... a lot. I wasn’t even sure exactly how I felt about you. I knew I liked you and I was definitely attracted to you. But... there was somethin’ else. Something I’d never felt before. And then when we got to the Prism Palace and you spilled your heart out to me –tellin’ me about your family and all that – I figured it out. I loved you. And you choosin’ to stay so that I could leave... kriff, it broke my heart. I knew after that, I was gonna do whatever it took to keep you safe. To not lose you again.”

Unsurprisingly, Hannah had been brought to tears by his words. She had already figured out the last part a while ago. But hearing him say it out loud, hearing the inflection of pure love in his tone... she could’ve melted. His hand was still clutched between both of hers, and she brought it up to her face to nuzzle into it, placing a few gentle kisses just above his knuckles.

“Well gee, mine’s nowhere near as emotional as that,” Hannah eventually joked with a chuckle.

“That’s fine,” Hunter reassured her. “Wait, hang on, lemme try and guess it. Just tell me: was it before or after mine?”

“Before,” Hannah answered, sounding almost ashamed.

The signature thoughtful pose of Hunter clutching the base of his chin reappeared as he pondered the answer. This time, Hannah finally admitted how cute she thought it was, which prompted Hunter to teasingly tell her to not distract him.  

After another moment of thought, Hunter grimaced a bit. “Don’t tell me it was the Loth Cat toy...”

Hannah threw her head back with a hardy laugh. “Why do you hate Grumpy Pants so much? But no, that wasn’t it. You’re close though...”

Hunter’s eyes squinted and he studied her face to try and ascertain the answer from her. “Wait... the sugar sticks?”

Hannah’s lips tightly pursed together. “It was during that moment, yes.”  

A puzzled look crossed Hunter’s face, and it made Hannah giggle.

“Let me just tell you,” Hannah said, letting out a small sigh. “So, it started before we even left together. I had... made this sort of bet with Omega – more like a promise, really. Cause I had gotten a glimpse of your softer side earlier, and I was so determined to see more of it. So, I told Omega that I wasn’t planning on even coming back until I’d gotten a laugh out of you. I knew it was gonna be near impossible, buuuuut I was up for the challenge.” She started laughing as she recalled the moment. “It was so stupid. Possibly the stupidest joke I’ve ever made in my entire life. But I said it, right after we’d gotten those sugar sticks, and well...” The memory made her break out into a fit of giggles. “You let out the most genuine laugh I’ve ever heard. At my stupid little joke. And I guess it touched me enough to realize that... that it wasn’t just a fleeting thing. I had strong feelings for you, and I could finally put a word to it. I was in love with you. And I haven’t questioned that for a single second.”

The touched expression on Hunter’s face spoke volumes. He felt the same way of course, never once questioning his own feelings for her. It made him even more regretful that he’d ever tried to stifle a relationship with Hannah. There was nothing that was going to separate them from that point forward though. Not if he could help it.

Hunter didn’t ponder these thoughts for long, as the context of Hannah’s confession was too silly to ignore. He couldn’t help himself and broke out into a fit of snickers. “I wish I could be more surprised by that, but I’m not. Your sense of humor is so weird; it’s adorable. Just like you.” He pulled Hannah in closer and gave her a big smooch on the side of her face, causing her to break out into giggles again.

“We’re both just a couple of weirdos, trying to make our way through the galaxy,” Hannah joked.

“That’s for sure. With emphasis on the couple now.”

“And don’t you forget it!” Hannah pulled Hunter’s face down to kiss him on the lips, making an audible smacking noise for emphasis.

The rest of the trip was spent recalling some of their favorite memories of each other. Since Hunter was so well-known for keeping an eye on things, it wasn’t surprising that he’d noticed so many things about Hannah. Brief little things that seemed so mundane to her were treasured moments to Hunter. And to his surprise, it was the same way with Hannah towards him. He wasn’t the only one who liked to take note of other people, and all things considered, the fact that she prioritized him so highly shouldn’t have been so surprising. Neither of them liked being in the spotlight for very long, but when it came to each other, the attention was a welcome act.

By the time they made it back to Hannah’s apartment, it was well into the night. The moon was high in the sky and already starting its descent down again. And yet, it still hadn’t felt long enough, and they both regretted having to end their time together. But it wasn’t really an end. If anything, their time together was just getting started.

Unsurprisingly though, Hannah wanted to use any excuse possible to not have to go the long stair-filled journey up to her apartment. “If I have to see one more step today, I’m going to explode,” she lamented.

Lucky for her, her newly acquired lover still had enough energy for both of them and practically dragged her all the way up the stairs. “See? That wasn’t so bad,” Hunter said once they’d made it to the apartment. “Easier than the watchtower, right?”

Hannah looked at him with half-lidded eyes. “Babe, you literally had to carry me up the last flight.”

“And?” Hunter teased as he carefully set Hannah down on her feet again. “Worked out great for me.” He got a playful bop on the arm and snickered.

“So how much you wanna bet they’re still up?” Hannah asked, keeping a hand hovered over the door panel.

“All of ‘em? Nah. Tech, maybe. You know how late he likes to stay up.”

“True... usually not this late though. If any of them are still up, it’s probably Echo. Call it a bestie feeling.”

Their predictions set in place, Hannah motioned for them to be quiet and then finally opened the door. As expected, the room was dark inside except for the small bit of light coming through the open door. The curtains hanging over the back door were slightly cracked, which allowed a sliver of light to cascade into the sitting area. Snoring could easily be heard and was immediately recognized as Wrecker and Tech, who were spotted sleeping on the couch together. Another figure was nearby, sitting up awake and reading a datapad on a pile of pillows made into a makeshift seat.

“Well,” came the instantly recognizable voice of Echo. “Look who finally decided to come back.”

“Told ya,” Hannah smugly said, playfully conking Hunter in the chest.

Echo sat his datapad down and walked over to them as they came further into the room. “So, how was it?” he teasingly asked.

Hannah and Hunter both looked at each other, then back at Echo again.

“Oh, it was terrible,” Hannah blatantly replied.

“The worst,” Hunter added, acting completely serious.

“Absolutely awful.”

“Hated every second of it.”

The unamused face Echo gave them broke Hannah enough to make her sputter and start snickering. “You know what,” Echo said, his tone as unamused as his expression. “It’s probably better that I not know what you two were doing. You can just keep that information to yourselves; I’m good.”

“Oh, come oooon, Echo,” Hannah said with a fake whine. “Don’t you wanna hear in detail about all the times we--”

“Nope!” Echo quickly retorted. “No thank you!”

Hannah began snickering again while covering her mouth to not be too loud. Wrecker stirred a bit in his sleep, which prompted everyone to keep their voices down.

“Well, I’m gonna get some much-needed sleep now,” Echo said in a quieter voice. “You two do whatever you’re gonna do. Just remember there’s other people in the room now.” He was playfully poked by Hannah before going back to his pillow seat, now with the intent of snuggling up into his signature blanket burrito.

“Guess that means it’s time for us to head to bed too,” Hunter said with a sigh.

“Yeah...” Hannah also sighed, but hers morphed into a yawn. “Wish we didn’t have to though.”

“I know...” Hunter grabbed both of Hannah’s hands and held them gently. “Just remember: this wasn’t our last night together. Not by a long shot.”

A soft smile spread on Hannah’s face. She already knew it in her heart, but hearing it out loud was still reassuring.

Per the norm, the two of them took some time to just stare into each other’s eyes and hold hands in silence. If they could’ve stayed that way forever, they would have. But Hannah felt herself physically unable to stay awake for much longer and was the one to eventually break the silence.

“Goodnight, handsome,” she softly said, giving Hunter’s hands a little squeeze.

Hunter ran his thumbs across the back of Hannah’s hands and held them just a bit tighter. “Goodnight... my love.”

The smile on Hannah’s face grew, and within seconds, her lips were on his, giving him a loving and tender kiss. They held the kiss much longer than necessary and were slow to part. Their clasped hands and gazes on each other remained as Hannah slowly walked backwards into her room. The last thing Hannah did was give Hunter an adoring smile before shutting the door for the night.

Hunter let out a wistful sigh once she was gone. He looked down at his own hands, still feeling the warmth of Hannah’s touch on them. They still had her scent as well, and he brought his hands up to his face to take a deep inhale in ecstasy. Even though he was tired, it was probably going to be a bit before he could fall asleep for the night.  

Regardless, he walked over to the sitting area and plopped down on the other makeshift seat of pillows across from Echo. Maybe it was the events of the night that had gotten him so pensive, but Hunter looked between each of his sleeping brothers fondly. He was so grateful for them, and especially grateful that Hannah had welcomed them all in as her own. She truly was everything he’d dreamed of having as a partner. Reaching into one of his pockets, Hunter pulled out the good-luck charm he’d been gifted, and he mindlessly began fiddling with it as he replayed the events of the night in his mind.

Meanwhile, Hannah was having a time of her own in her room. Right after she’d shut the door, she practically collapsed against the wall and let out a long, dreamy sigh. Her hands clasped tightly to her chest and her eyes shut as she reminisced on everything that had happened. She truly felt like the luckiest woman in the whole galaxy and had never been so happy in her entire life.  

Her eyes eventually opened again, and she was met with the sight of a small figure curled up asleep in her bed, surrounded by pillows and plushies. Hannah took a moment to fondly watch her sweet little sister, almost lamenting the fact that she couldn’t gush about the night to her right away.

After changing out of her clothes and into some comfy pajamas, Hannah slowly and carefully crawled into the bed, next to Omega. She tried her best to not wake the little girl, but to no avail as Omega began to stir once Hannah tried to lay down on her pillow. Omega’s eyes slowly blinked open to the sight of Hannah smiling down at her, and immediately she rubbed the sleep from her eyes and sat up.

“You’re back!” Omega exclaimed, prompting Hannah to shush her. In a quieter tone, she began bombarding Hannah with questions. “How was it? Did you have fun? What did you do? Where did you go?” She covered her mouth and let out a small gasp. “Did he kiss you?”

The smile on Hannah’s face spread into a wide, cheesy grin. “Uhh, what do you think, sis?”

Immediately, Omega broke out into a flurry of happy squeals and practically tackled her big sister, causing her to go into her own fit of happy laughter. It was all over after that, as Hannah began going into detail about the night while Omega sat and listened intently.

They had no idea they could be heard from the other room. Even though they weren’t being that loud, Hunter could still hear them through the walls, and a delighted smile never left his face until their voices finally died down, signaling that they’d gone to bed for the night.

The last thing Hunter saw before falling asleep that night was the bouquet of fake flowers Hannah kept on her kitchen counter. From the small amount of light feeding in through the back door, he could see another small object sitting next to the vase: a small cup with a single blue-green flower in it.  

A perfect sight to end a perfect night.

TO BE CONTINUED...

[daveeddiggsit]

The Plan

WIDEOUT MASTERLIST

Series: WIDEOUT (chpt viii)

Note: Thank you @braidedchallah for proofreading. Reminder — before you kill me — there is one chapter left (and an epilogue). Keep that in mind. Enjoy. Feel free to yell at me afterwards. If you’re reading this, I’m sorry for what you’re about to experience.

Word Count: 12.2k

Pairing: Football Player!Thomas Jefferson x Tutor!Reader

Warnings: angst. possible breakup. perhaps some crying. implied sex (more than once). thom being a perfect boyfriend. thom looking fine af in denim (i’m trash).

Summary: Goodbyes are hard.

Tags: @coololdsoulpoetlove @wreakhavoconmacroissantdiggs @lilangeldevil006 @pana-ce-a @merrahonthawall @katierpblogg @thespianbooks @a-hopeless-fan @uniquelystarchildthedragon @wcreech @sabbrriiinnaa @imperial-martian @harpersmariano @icanneverbesatisfied @underthewillowtreerycb @i-know-i-can @astralaffairs @braidedchallah​ (if i forgot anyone i apologize, just lemme know for next time)

As one of the smartest kids in your graduating class, you have a certain reputation to uphold. Maintaining a perfect 4.0 GPA isn’t easy, which means that you have to choose all the right answers and make all the right decisions. 

As it turns out, you seem to be pretty good at that. Being right about a lot of things, academic or not, seems to come naturally to you. Especially when it comes to a certain curly-haired athlete who also happens to be your boyfriend of over a year.

You had been right when you told him that he would recover from his ankle injury on the night it happened. Well, you can’t be entirely sure of that yet since he’s still not clear to engage in full-action sports, but it’s incredibly clear that he’s well on his way to recovering fully.

Almost exactly seven weeks after the incident, he’d gotten his cast removed and replaced with a boot so that he could put weight on his ankle again. Since then, he’s been in physical therapy almost daily in order to make sure that he’s healing the right way. According to him, he’s progressing well every week and is slowly regaining his mobility, strength, and speed. Just two weeks ago he ditched the boot so that he could finally put on a pair of shoes; you remember the grin on his face when he gave you a little dance to show off the new kicks he’d gotten as celebration.

He’s not 100% healthy yet, and he certainly won’t be back on the field (or track) for another couple months until he’s clear to practice, but you’re proud that he’s been able to recover as much as he has in relatively so little time.

On the night of his injury, you’d also been right about another thing: the fact that Thomas would receive college offers.

And that’s what you’re celebrating today.

After weeks and weeks of advocating for himself and sending his player reel and personal letters to the head coaches of schools he wanted to attend, he finally got an offer from one of his top college choices: the University of Virginia.

While their football team isn’t the most notable in the nation, their program is one of the best in the state of Virginia at a Division I level, and that’s pretty much all Thomas wants. After he recovers fully, Thomas will make an excellent asset to the team since one of their starting wide receivers is entering the NFL Draft after this year. 

At UVA, Thomas would get the play time he needs to shine and show his true colors and talent as a wide receiver all while having a coaching staff there to support him and his every need. Their academic program for liberal arts is also something Thomas has been looking at in a school since he plans on majoring in English.

With all of that said, the Jefferson household decides to host a special dinner for their son in celebration of the wonderful news. 

And while under normal circumstances, you would feel happy and excited for your boyfriend and his amazing accomplishment, instead you have a voice that lingers in the back of your mind reminding you of the similar news you had received just a week prior.

Thomas isn’t the only one with a huge scholarship offer.

After applying to many different schools with somewhat notable engineering programs in-state (because let’s be real, out-of-state tuition is absurdly expensive), you’ve received only a few grants from NYU and Syracuse University, but it isn’t enough to cover all of tuition.

But when you’d received an email last week from the one out-of-state school you had applied to last minute, your heart had just about dropped from your chest.

UCLA is offering you a full-ride.

You should be happy that you have an incredible offer. You should be elated for Thomas with his scholarship offer, too. However, you can’t help but feel a looming sense of stress every time you think about telling him.

That’s why you haven’t told him yet; it’s been nine days.

“Y/N?”

Thomas’ voice snaps you out of your thoughts and suddenly you are brought back to reality. You’re dressed up and sitting at the dinner table with Thomas across from his parents. The menu of the night consists of a couple different French dishes that his mother had learned to make a few years back when they visited Paris for an entire summer. His mother’s rendition of the food is nothing short of amazing.

Your eyes meet the warm brown ones that belong to your boyfriend as you turn your head to glance at him next to you. “Hmm?”

”You didn’t hear anythin’ I said, did you?” Thomas chuckles, biting his lip as he watches you put on a guilty simper.

“No, sorry.” You breathe out a small laugh in order to cover up your underlying nervousness. “I zoned out for a minute there. What were you saying?” 

“Well, I’m arguin’ a case here. Technically, a hot dog — a piece of meat held together by two pieces of bread - is a sandwich, right? In simple terms and by definition this should be true, so don’t overthink it. My dad keeps saying it’s not, but please, Y/N, you gotta side with me this time.”

You take a breath in and click your tongue. “I don’t know, Peter, I think I gotta go with Thom on this one.”

“Yes!” Thomas celebrates, throwing his arms up dramatically. “I told you!”

Mr. Jefferson’s mouth drops at your response. “How dare you take his side. Did all those other times teaming up at dinner and making fun of him mean nothing to you?”

If it hadn’t been evident prior to this moment where Thomas gets his overdramatics from, then it’s certainly clear now.

“Case closed.” Thomas smirks, crossing his arms, proud of himself.

“What are you talking about? The case is far from closed.” His father retorts, splaying his arms out, causing Thomas’ mom to speak out. 

“Hey, calm down, you two. You’re gonna make a mess if you keep on bangin’ the table like that.” She chastises them. They both mutter their apologies before Thomas’ father continues on defending himself.

“Y/N, why’d you choose his side? You know I’m right. Don’t let that boy guilt trip you; he’s still gonna love you if you disagree with him.”

“Sorry, Peter.” You shrug, sneaking a glance at Thomas who’s watching you with a glint in his eyes. “As much as I don’t want to agree with your son on this one, I unfortunately do.”

Thomas pauses to narrow his eyes as you in puzzled manor. “‘Unfortunately?’ Your words wound me, sweetheart, really.” He says in a teasing tone before his smile turns smug as he directs his attention towards his father. “But you see, Dad? It’s 2 against 1. ‘M sorry to say, but your opinion is overruled.”

Mr. Jefferson waves his son off dismissively. “That’s horseshit; your mother hasn’t sided with anyone yet. We still have one more vote to count.”

“Language, Peter.” The woman in question warns, giving him a look that’s only half serious.

“Well, honey? You agree with me, don’t you?” Peter asks his wife with pleading eyes, causing her to roll hers.

“Sure, sweetie.”

You shake your head and smile, leaning back in your chair to watch the antics unfold.

“What? Ma, why you takin’ his side?” Thomas jumps in. “I’m supposed to be your favorite, you know.”

“Of course you’re my favorite; you’re my only child, Thomas.” His mother deadpans, causing Thomas to frown.

It’s Peter’s turn now to smirk at Thomas and you. “See? Now we’re tied. Opinion very much not overruled, thank you.”

“Wait, what was your side of the argument again?” Mrs. Jefferson asks her husband. “You said a hot dog is a sandwich, right?”

“No, that’s what I said.” Thomas interjects.

“Oh, well then I agree with Thomas.”

“Ha!” Your boyfriend exclaims, pointing at his dad. “I told you! Your opinion is not valid. Hot dogs are sandwiches. End of story.”

“They are not sandwiches! They are a different entity. How can you compare a ham and cheese to a weiner between two buns? Well I’ll tell you. You can’t!”

“For the last time, Dad. It’s a piece of meat in between two pieces of bread. That is classified as what? A sandwich!”

“With that logic, you’d say that a burger is a sandwich, too?”

“Yup.”

“There is somethin’ wrong with y’all.” Peter shakes his head, picking at the leftover food on his plate. “I thought I raised you better, T. Y/N, I expected you to take my side on this one.”

“Sorry, Mr. J.” You shrug. “Tommy’s right. A piece of meat in between two pieces of bread does indeed technically classify it as a sandwich.”

“Y’all got me thinkin’ that I’m the crazy one now.” Peter sighs defeatedly.

“Alright, alright, that’s enough of that nonsense.” Thomas’ mother chuckles, waving her hand in the air dismissively. “Thomas, honey, your father and I are very proud of you and are excited for your opportunity at UVA.”

“Thanks, Ma.” Thomas grins. “I’m excited, too.”

Under the table, Thomas’ hand finds yours and laces your fingers together. Its warmth is comforting and the small moment makes you forget about everything for just a moment. A small silence stretches on for a bit before Peter speaks up.

“So, Y/N, how are your college applications going? Have you gotten any scholarships yet? I feel like you’re too smart to not get anything.”

Your stomach drops at the question. You really hadn’t expected to be put on the spot like this, and while it is a simple question that you should be able to answer quickly… you don’t. You hesitate and Thomas notices. 

You want to tell the truth, you really do, but you can’t. This is Thomas’ night to celebrate and the last thing you want to do is mess it up with news that you’d be going to school across the country. Tonight is supposed to be about him, not you.

So you lie.

“Oh, um, no, not yet.” You chuckle nervously. The hand holding Thomas’ fidgets slightly and he squeezes lightly to try and help calm your nerves. “I mean, I’ve gotten into NYU and Syracuse so far. Still waiting to hear from Columbia. I haven’t heard much as far as scholarships, though, unfortunately. I’ve received a few grants here and there, but nothing too big.”

“Columbia, wow. What’s their acceptance rate? 10%?” Mrs. Jefferson asks, seemingly interested.

“6%.” Thomas jumps in to answer before glancing at you with a small smile. “I don’t think Y/N will have any trouble getting in, though.”

You send him the biggest smile you can muster, though you feel like it sort of comes out as a grimace. “Thanks, T.” You say softly.

Beat.

“What time is it? I think it’s past my bedtime.” Peter yawns, checking his watch. “10 o’clock? Where did the time go? Y/N, are you going to be okay driving home this late?”

“It’s not that late, Mr. Jefferson. I should be fine.” You’ve definitely driven home from Thomas’ place past 10pm before (multiple times), but you’re not telling him that. “I do think I should probably leave soon, though.”

“You wanna go get your things upstairs, then I can walk you out?” Thomas asks you with a mischievous look in his eye. Knowing him, he probably just wants to get you alone for a bit before you leave. Even through your nervousness to tell him the truth, you can’t deny his charm.

“Yeah, that sounds good, Tommy.”

Then, both you and Thomas excuse yourselves from the table. You make sure to thank Mr. and Mrs. Jefferson for dinner and the invite. You’re always honored to be included in their family events even if it’s something as small as dinner on a Friday night.

When you make it up to Thomas’ room, he doesn’t waste another moment before he kisses you softly, his hand reaching up to cup your cheek after he gently shuts the door.

“Been waitin’ to do that all night.” He grins afterwards, softly brushing over the skin of your cheek with his thumb.

You smile as you bring your hands up to his shoulders, wordlessly leaning forward to sweetly press your lips to his again.

“Missed you.” He mumbles as he pulls away to lean his forehead against yours. “Feel like we haven’t been seeing a lot of each other lately.”

He’s right. With both of you not having any classes together this year, you both worried about college applications, Thomas not in football season anymore and in and out of PT almost constantly, you two haven’t been seeing each other as much as you’d like. Another reason why you haven’t been able to tell Thomas about UCLA (aside from the fact that you simply don’t have the guts to do it).

“I know.” You sigh, looking off to the side for a second. “I’m sorry.”

“‘S not your fault. We’ve both been busy.”

“Yeah, but still.” You say softly. “Feels bad. I miss you.”

He chuckles. “Well, I’m right here, baby. Don’t need to go far.”

You smile haphazardly and roll your eyes as you bring your hand up to the back of his neck and pull him into another kiss. Who knows how many more of these you’ll get before you both graduate and have to go your separate ways.

Before it can go too far, you pull away again.

“T?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m so proud of you.” You say genuinely because you really want him to know. You feel like you don’t tell him enough (even though that’s not the case).  “Really, I am. You deserve that scholarship and so much more.”

“Thanks, love.” He murmurs while a soft smile adorns his face. “Hey, if none of these in-state schools give you anything, I think you’d have a good chance at getting something at UVA. They have an honors college that gives up a ton of grants and shit, you should look into it. I’m not sure if the applications are still open, but worth a try.”

You purse your lips before you give him your response. “Maybe, we’ll see.”

“I’m sure you’ll get something anyway, but just wanted to bring that up and let you know.”

“Appreciate the thought, Thom.”

Thomas grins, giving you one last peck on the lips before finally turning away to remove his overcoat. He double takes when he sees your face drop slightly. His eyebrows furrow as he notices your mood shift. “Hey, what’s wrong? Somethin’ botherin’ you? Not gonna lie, you’ve been a little off all night, sweetheart...”

You hesitate, not able to look him in the eye, the guilt eating you alive. The pressure of holding everything in is building up and while Thomas is normally your rock, the one you can go to for anything, you can’t this time, and you can feel it wearing you down.

You take in a shaky deep breath before you go to sit down on his bed, eyes cast towards the ground. “I’m okay, T, I’m just… stressed. With school.” You say, finally willing yourself to look up into his caring gaze. It hurts to lie to him, but you keep telling yourself that it’s his night.

“You sure?” He asks, taking a seat next to you to gently grab your hand in his. “Seriously, baby, I know when somethin’s up. What’s on that brilliant mind of yours, huh?” He lightly bumps his shoulder against yours in a teasing gesture, causing you to let out a half-hearted chuckle. He always knows how to get a laugh out of you, doesn’t he? “I know you’re worried about more than that stats test you have next week. Tell me what’s really botherin’ you.” He says softly, catching your gaze again.

Sighing once more, you tear your eyes away from his pleading ones. “I um…” You trail off after trying and failing to come up with another lie or excuse. 

Thomas always draws your worries and frustrations out of you; he knows you so well to the point where he knows exactly what to say to convince you to tell him something. Honesty has never been a problem in your relationship, and the last thing you want is to push it to a point of no return. You already feel terrible for withholding the truth; you want to be free from this secret you’ve been holding.

And suddenly seven words echo in your head:

“Tell him. He’ll understand. He loves you.”

Your eyes flit back up to meet his concerned gaze. Here it goes.

“I did get a scholarship. All tuition and expenses paid. I got the email a week and a half ago and I didn’t tell you. I’m sorry.”

His eyes widen at the confession, taken aback by how big the news is.

“Holy shit, Y/N, that’s… that’s amazing, baby. I’m so proud of you. Not surprised, but proud nonetheless.” He says genuinely, a smile evident on his face before it drops slightly. “Why didn’t you wanna tell me?” There’s a moment of silence before he speaks again. “Wait, why’d you lie at dinner when my dad asked?”

You give him a sad smile before you look away again, fidgeting with your fingers on the hand that Thomas isn’t holding. “I didn’t want to take over your night, T. And I didn’t tell you when I found out because… the school’s in Cali.” You say, releasing a breath you didn’t know you’d been holding.

He cocks his head to the side slightly, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. “I thought you only applied to schools in-state.”

You shake your head, pursing your lips before you respond. “That’s what I had planned originally, but my advisor pushed me to apply for this scholarship program at UCLA and… well, I got in.”

Thomas goes silent for a few moments as he looks off to the side, breathing deeply. It’s hard to tell what he’s feeling. Then, he lets out a low whistle. “Full-ride to UCLA, huh?” He says softly before he turns to look at you. 

“Thomas…” You start, your voice soft and full of worry, but he continues to talk.

“Are you going to accept it?” He asks and you nod slowly. 

Ideally, you have no other real choice; by going to UCLA you’d graduate with zero debt. And with UCLA’s engineering program and opportunities that other schools can’t fulfill, it fills all the boxes you want in a university.

“I’m so proud of you, sweetheart. Really. I’m glad they recognize how amazing you are.” The tone in Thomas’ voice is fond and he’s absolutely sure of the words he’s saying. “It’s far away, I know, but we can make it work.” 

The emotions in his eyes are conflicting, but they still hold unrelenting love and support in them. When you hesitate to respond, his eyes search yours, trying to find some sort of answer in them, but before he can decipher anything, you tear your gaze from his.

“Right?” He asks as his grip on your palm loosens until your hand falls back into your lap, the warmth from Thomas’ fingers completely vanished. “Baby, talk to me. Please.”

“Thom, I… I want to think that but I’m not sure.” You admit quietly, and having said that, you can see something in Thomas’ composure crumble.

He shakes his head. “Nah, don’t you say that. We can make this work, Y/N.” His voice wavers slightly as he stands up and runs a hand over his curls, smoothing them back and away from his face. “I haven’t accepted the offer at UVA. I can decline and apply to UCLA—”

“T, I’m not going to ask you to do that—” You start, but he cuts you off.

“You don’t have to ask me, love. I’m willing to do this all on my own. Like I said, we can make this work. I’ll improvise. My parents can afford it, then I can just join the football team as a walk-on. I’m confident I’ll make it. Since they didn’t give me an offer I’ll prove them wrong and be the best damn walk-on they ever had.”

“Thomas, don’t—”

“I can also have my dad send the head coach a letter. I didn’t wanna pull that for any other schools because I wanted to earn all my offers — and because of the whole nepotism thing — but I’ll make an exception for—”

“Thomas, please!” You raise your voice and when he finally stops, you immediately regret it. You’ve never raised your voice like that with him before and doing so right now feels terrible. 

“Please, T, just stop. I don’t want you to do any of that for me. How long have you been waiting for UVA to give you a chance? How many letters have you personally written to Coach Michaels, begging him to consider you for one of their open receiver positions?”

Thomas is silent as you speak, knowing full well that you have a point. You continue.

“You’ve been set on UVA as your top school for a couple months now. Don’t forget how hyped you were when you finally got the offer this morning. And now you want to just throw that away? No. I’m sorry, Thom, but I am not going to be the one to take it away from you.”

“You’re not.” He says earnestly. “Taking it away from me, I mean. I want to do this for you. For us. UCLA has a good football program, too, all I have to do is pull some strings if you’ll let me.”

You shake your head at him. “Okay, well I’m not letting you do that. Thomas, it’s not as easy as you’re making it seem. Think about this, okay? Think about yourself and your football career and all the opportunities that you’ll have for yourself down in Virginia. Don’t let me get in the way of that! I don’t want each of us to be an obstacle in each other’s successes.”

Thomas gives you an incredulous look and stills himself. “Are you serious? Is that what you consider our relationship? An obstacle?”

You look away, sighing. “No, T, I… I didn’t mean it like that, you know that.”

“No, Y/N. I don’t know that.” He looks at you with a distressed gaze, all traces of comfort and playfulness gone and replaced with hurt… caused by you — something you never would have thought you’d see in his eyes. 

“Look, I don’t wanna talk about this right now. Today’s supposed to be your day.”

“Let me get one thing straight, Y/N. Our relationship is not an obstacle… it never has been and it never will be.” Thomas says coldly and you cringe when he calls you by your full name in a tone that’s less than friendly.

“I just don’t want our love for each other to get in the way of…” You trail off, but decide against speaking mid-sentence. “You know what, nevermind.”

“Get in the way of what?”

“Thomas,” you start, making eye contact with him once again. “I don’t want to get in the way of your football career. It’s unfair; I can’t do that to you, T. You deserve to make the most of your career in college so that you can make it to the NFL. That’s your dream, right? To play in the NFL for the New York Giants like your father did. Am I right?”

His jaw clenches slightly as he nods, and you continue.

“The coach at UVA believes in you — even through your injury. Why are you going to throw that away? In order to be with your high school girlfriend? Do you see how childish that sounds?” A beat of silence passes before you continue in a softer tone. 

“I just… I don’t want you to do that, Thomas, it’s too big of a risk. You have a solid spot at UVA to prove yourself on the field. If you drop that for a walk-on position at UCLA, it’ll be a mistake. Instead of proving yourself to NFL recruiters, you’ll be set on proving yourself to college coaches just to get a chance on the field. I want you to have the best chances at making it to the NFL.” Now it’s your turn to stand up. You pace away from him as you continue to speak. 

“Let’s say you do follow me to UCLA and join the football program. What if… what if something happens while we’re in college and we’re not together anymore? What will happen? You’d have potentially messed up your career for me and I don’t want that to happen, T. I’m sorry but I won’t let that happen.”

Thomas holds a hand up to stop you from your ramblings. He speaks his next words slowly.  “Wait, wait, hold on now. You think we’re going to break up in college?”

You roll your eyes in frustration, crossing your arms defensively. “That’s not what I said—”

“No, no that’s exactly what you said.” He responds coldly, narrowing his eyes at you. “I’m starting to question our intentions in this relationship, Y/N. Did you ever plan on us being long term?”

“See, this is why I didn’t wanna tell you. I didn’t want this to happen.” You say, annoyed that it’s gotten to this point of you two having an argument.

“You just gonna ignore my question?”

“Before applying to schools, T, I wasn’t even thinking about the future. I was taking things day by day. We were both pent up in our little perfect world, but right now we need to face reality.”

“Okay, so then why’d you keep this a secret from me? Were you plannin’ on keepin’ this to yourself until graduation? I don’t know if you knew this, sweetheart, but a relationship is a two-way street and involves a little somethin’ called communication.” His snarky tone fills the room and has you rolling your eyes again. “Girlfriends aren’t supposed to lie to their boyfriends and then get mad at him for reacting a certain way when she finally decides to tell him huge news.”

“Look, I’m sorry, okay?” You say, breathing out another sigh and softening up at his last sentence. He’s right; you shouldn’t have kept it a secret. “I wanted to tell you, I just, I don’t know what’s gonna happen after we graduate, okay? And I’m scared.”

“You don’t think we can work through that together? As a team?” Thomas’ eyes are begging you to reason with him. “I’m scared, too, but we’ll figure something out. Right?”

The look in your eyes is distant as you cast them down to the ground. “Yeah.”

“Maybe we could do a long distance thing. I’ve seen other couples do it.”

You fiddle with a loose thread on your sweater. “I don’t know, T. We’ll see if we can come up with something.”

He rolls his eyes and huffs out a hot-tempered laugh. “Okay.” He says shortly.

“What?”

“So you don’t want me to drop everything and go to UCLA with you, which is fine. I understand that. But now you’re telling me that you don’t wanna do long distance?”

“I didn’t say that, I just— we need to be realistic, Thom.”

“What does that even mean?!” He yells, and it’s the first time he’s ever raised his voice at you. You hate it.

“We have to keep the future in mind!”

“I want you in my future! Don’t you want me in your future?”

“We both have different ideas of what we want. Different dreams, okay? You can’t have your dream of making it to the NFL and also have me when I plan on going to an engineering program across the country!” 

You’re deflecting and he knows it.

“Answer the damn question, Y/N.” He says lowly, his voice taking on a dangerous edge.

“Of course I want you in my future, Thomas!” You say exasperatedly, looking at the ceiling. “What kind of question is that?”

“Forgive me if I’m strugglin’ to believe that when you’re actin’ like this.” He says, his voice taking a more neutral tone, but he sounds exhausted. “You’re going to school across the country and you were hesitant to tell me - fine. I fucking get it. But you can’t just say that we’ll probably break up in college and think that that is fucking okay. It’s not! And you can’t say ‘I don’t know’ about dating long distance when that’s literally the only other option we have.”

“That’s the thing, Thomas. I don’t know if that’s the only other option we have.”

His face looks puzzled as he looks at you for a few seconds before realization finally settles in. Thomas narrows his eyes at you once again, his gaze cold, making your heart drop in your chest. “You wanna break up, don’t you?”

“No.” You state, choosing your words carefully. “I don’t want to. But we have to think about—”

“Our future, yeah. I get it.” Thomas snaps, cutting you off. “You know what? You want to talk about the future? Fine. Maybe we should.” He says simply, crossing his arms. “If you think we’re just going to break up in college anyway, maybe we should just speed up the process and get it over with.”

You shake your head at him. “Thomas, don’t do this. That’s not what I want.”

“Isn’t it?”

“It’s not.”

“I find that extremely hard to believe.”

“I’m done arguing with you, Jefferson.” You breathe out tiredly, running a hand through your hair.

He sighs, rubbing a hand over his face. He looks completely drained as he speaks again, his voice now calm. “What are we doing here, Y/N?”

A small silence fills the air before you answer quietly. “I don’t know, T.”

What are you both doing? Arguing about whether or not your relationship should continue after high school? Maybe you are being a little irrational about it, implying that you should break up before college and all. Thomas’ reaction to it all is understandable because he doesn’t want to lose you. However, he needs to be truthful to himself. Is this relationship going to work when the two of you are seeking entirely different career paths on opposite coasts?

What a fucking mess.

You hate that it’s gotten to this point. Your fear about telling Thomas and it going downhill has come true, and knowing that makes you even more emotional.

“Tommy… I…” You say sotto voce, on the edge of tears as you slowly reach for him, but he puts a hand up stopping you from moving any further. He turns his face so you can’t see his expression.

“Don’t, Y/N.” Thomas’ voice is firm, but it breaks slightly when he says your name. “Just don’t.” He whispers.

You watch him and he struggles to keep himself together. You hate that you’ve done this to him, that you’re making him feel this way… you hate that you’ve caused this.

“I’m gonna go…” You voice (barely above a whisper) after a long silent pause, not trusting your normal voice due to the shaky deep breaths that begin to rack your body. You’re on the verge of breaking down.

Thomas nods. “I think you should.”

And that breaks your heart.

You feel weird leaving like this, gross even. You don’t want to leave things off like they are. You don’t want to leave things unresolved and you don’t want to leave with Thomas still angry at you. Still, though, you grab all your things and head to the doorway of his room.

Pausing to look back at him, you open your mouth to say something, but hesitate. Deciding against it, you turn to open the door and leave without another word.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━   ♛   ━━━━━━━﹤⋆

You call Maria as soon as you get to your car. She helps you keep your composure as you drive to her house, keeping you company via phone. You make sure to send your family a quick text of your whereabouts and that you plan to spend the night at Maria’s place.

As soon as you arrive in her bedroom and drop your bag to the ground, you break down and begin to sob, crashing into the welcoming arms of your best friend. You cry until you can’t anymore, and Maria is there for you the entire time hugging you and easing you through it.

She stays there, quiet and still, allowing you to let out all of your emotions. You don’t tell her the details about what happened until after you have no tears left to cry.

“Don’t be mad at T, please, none of this is his fault.” You sniffle, wiping at your nose with a tissue Maria gave you. “It’s all mine.”

“Y/N, don’t blame yourself for all this. You just want what’s best for the both of you in the long run. If he doesn’t understand that, then he’s just not seeing the whole picture.”

“I just hate arguing with him, Maria.” You say weakly, wiping at your face to dry your tears. “This is our first fight and I hate how I feel right now. I don’t want things to end on bad terms. How am I supposed to get over this feeling once we… if we break up before college?”

“You don’t have to end things on bad terms, Y/N.” Maria says softly. “You both need to be on the same page about this. If you both make a plan and sort things out, then maybe you can leave things on a positive note. Not as a goodbye, but as a see you later, you know? And if it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. You’ll meet again one day and you can pick up where you left off. But if it’s not, then at least you guys can cherish what you had when you were just two kids in high school who didn’t know any better and made the most of their teenage years.”

You nod slowly. She does have a point, and this is all what you were thinking when you had even brought up the thought of breaking up after graduation.

“How do you always know the right thing to say?”

“It’s my best friend superpower. I can’t help it.” She shrugs, making you laugh, even if it was only a half-hearted one. “Seriously, though. You two need to have an honest conversation with one another.”

You sigh, wiping the rest of your drying tears away with the tissue. “I think we both could use some space right now, though. I’m going to wait until Monday.”

Maria nods. “Monday. But you have to talk to him. You can’t chicken out. I know you, Y/N.”

“Sometimes a little too well…”

“All for the best.” She grins.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━   ♛   ━━━━━━━﹤⋆

After a long and lonely weekend, Monday finally comes and you make sure to wake up earlier than usual in order to make it to school in time for when Thomas comes out of his physical therapy session with his track trainer.

You haven’t called, texted, or seen each other since Friday night and the guilt and heaviness from what happened still weighs on your chest despite the reassuring words from Maria. 

Patiently and nervously, you wait outside the boys’ locker room like you have countless times before, only this time, things feel much different. The anticipation lingers in the air surrounding you and you feel the stress push at your shoulders until the door finally opens and Thomas walks out.

After over a year of dating, you still get butterflies at the sight of him even though he’s just wearing simple black jeans and a t-shirt.

As he shrugs on his jean jacket and backpack, he glances up through a few stray curls that fall down in front of his eyes. His eyes flicker to you as he walks in your direction before he rips them away quickly. 

“T, hey how was…?” You try to speak to him, but he just continues to walk past you.

You watch him as he goes on like nothing, completely disregarding your presence.

“You’re still mad…” You trail off, falling into step with him and his pace doesn’t falter.

He doesn’t say a word.

“Listen, I know you probably don’t wanna see me right now, but please hear me out.”

Still nothing.

You know he’s still upset; he only gets quiet when he has a lot on his mind or he’s going through something. Taking in a deep breath, you speed up so that you can get in front of him.

“Thomas, hey, stop.” You say, putting a hand on his chest. You know that if he really wants to charge past you he can, but instead he stays there, halted by your touch. He looks down at you, his face nearing yours, and your eyes plead with his. “Please.” You whisper, your fingers curling into his black shirt to hold him there (or maybe it’s more of a way to ground yourself).

Thomas’ detached gaze lingers on your face and as your eyes search his, you note just how devoid of energy he looks. 

“I just want to talk. I…” You watch him as he breaks your gaze to look at the ground. “I know I fucked up; I said some things I shouldn’t have. Just please let me make it up to you. I need you, T. I want to fix this while we still can.”

You sneak a glance around you to see that you’ve attracted some attention from your fellow classmates who are unapologetically staring. Do they know about you and Thomas’ fight? How could they possibly know? You two are hardly making a scene, but then again… people are vultures who will perk up at even the slightest bit of drama.

“Can we go somewhere private? Please? Just the two of us.”

Thomas licks his lips as he looks around, then back at you lazily. “Can this wait? We have class in six minutes, you know.”

“Let’s skip.” You say, causing him to raise his eyebrows in surprise. “This is more important than class today, okay? How about we go to that diner down the street?”

“It’s a little too early for a milkshake and fries, isn’t it?”

“They have eggs and waffles, too.” You say, your eyes pleading him to accept your offer. “Please? I know you love breakfast.”

He’s quiet for a few more minutes and you wait in anticipation for his answer. Just when you get your hopes down and think he’s going to reject you, he speaks up.

“Okay.” He responds finally. “But only because I really don’t want to watch boring presentations about the social cognitive theory in my Psych class…”

You breathe out a sigh of relief. “That’s good enough for me, T.”

“Bribin’ me with breakfast. You know that shit’s my weakness…” He mutters under his breath as he shakes his head. You’re not sure if he’d meant for you to hear that, but either way it makes a hint of a grin form on your lips.

“Come on, I’ll drive.”

⋆﹥━━━━━━━   ♛   ━━━━━━━﹤⋆

When you get to the diner, it’s fairly empty except for an elderly couple at a booth and a man at the counter drinking a cup of coffee. The smell of eggs and bacon wafts through the air and enters your nostrils as you breathe in.

A waitress greets you when you two slide into a booth, sitting across from each other. She hands you both menus and gets your drink orders before she’s off.

Silence fills the air between you as you both look over your menus. Thomas doesn’t say anything and it feels weird, suddenly reminding you of why you’re here in the first place. While from an outside perspective it may look like a normal outing between you two, you can feel the lingering tension in the air that’s leftover from Friday night. Unspoken feelings and unresolved problems still remain. 

You sneak a glance at him over your menu only to find him already staring back at you. As soon as your eyes meet, he looks away.

“I feel really bad about Friday.” You finally break the silence, your voice small. Wanting nothing more than to let him know how you feel, you try to catch his gaze. When his brown eyes finally meet yours, you continue. “I hate the way we left things…”

“Me too.” He finally says softly. You two stare at each other for a few more seconds and Thomas opens his mouth to continue. “I…”

Then, the waitress comes back with a couple water cups and two black coffees, interrupting whatever it was that Thomas was about to say. You and Thomas direct your attention to her with fake smiles as she asks for your orders. 

After she takes your menus and leaves, you let out a sigh as you look down at your fidgeting hands.

“Listen, T…” You begin, regret and guilt evident in your voice. You make sure to look up and meet his gaze one more time before you continue. “I'm sorry for lying to you and your family — I should have told you the day I found out, but I was too afraid of losing what we have. And I'm sorry for fucking up your day when we were supposed to be celebrating instead.” 

You stop to take in a shaky deep breath, looking down at your hands once again. “I’m so sorry if I made it seem like I was doubting our relationship or… or if I made you feel like I didn’t… like you weren’t…” Struggling to find the right way to express how sorry you are, your tone gets more and more emotional as you stumble over your words.

Thomas saves you from your struggle, however, as his hand reaches across the table to cover yours, causing you to look up at him with surprise. “It’s okay, sweetheart.”

“What?” You voice breathlessly. “I… I thought you were still mad. It shouldn’t be that easy. Why are you…?”

He shrugs slowly. “Because you’re not entirely at fault… and as much as I want to stay angry, I can’t stand seein’ you in distress like this.”

You purse your lips and squeeze his hand in yours. “I’m still really sorry, T. I want you to know that. I said some things I regret and…”

“I know you are. Especially after seeing you try to fix things today by not takin’ no for an answer earlier. We both said some things we regret and it’s okay, Y/N. Really.” His voice is soft as he responds. “I’m sorry for yellin’ and not fully listenin’ to what you were sayin’. And for bein’ kind of a dick to you earlier when I ignored you. I was in denial. I just felt like you were givin’ up on us too quickly and I… I don’t wanna mess up what we have. I really don’t.”

Your eyes soften at his words. “I know. Me neither.”

You both are quiet for a few seconds as you both struggle to find a way to address the elephant in the room. 

Luckily, you both get interrupted by the waitress again who comes back with your orders. You let go of each other’s hand when your plates are placed in front of you. Your mouth waters at the sight of your food, and you thank your waitress before she leaves again, telling you to let her know if you need anything else.

A comfortable silence falls in the space between you and Thomas, and though you feel that the tension from Friday night has now dissipated, the stress of the upcoming conversation still sits on your shoulders.

Surprisingly, Thomas is the one who initiates it.

“So…” He starts after chasing a mouthful of pancakes with a sip of water. “I’m guessin’ you won’t be comin’ back to town on holiday breaks?”

You cringe at the bluntness of the question. “What made you assume that?”

He shrugs, chewing his food before swallowing. “Just the way you were so helpless with your options. Thinking back to it, I figure that you probably wouldn’t have jumped to the possibility of breaking up unless you’d already thought things through somewhat.”

Very observant of him.

You nod before letting out a small sigh. “Yeah. My family’s planning on moving to Miami once I move out. Apparently they’re tired of the cold weather and wanted to wait to move until I graduated high school. They let me know when I told them the news.”

“Erik, too?”

“He’s staying in Philly until he graduates next Spring.”

“Well, that sucks.” He says, picking at the leftovers on his plate.

“Yeah.” You reply softly. “I just… I don’t know what to do anymore, Thomas. I thought the answer was clear, but now I’m not so sure.”

He sighs, putting his fork down before looking up at you. “I think I do.”

Your eyebrows furrow as you tilt your head in confusion.

Thom sighs, leaning back in his seat. “Well, for starters, you’re always right, let me just put that out there.”

“That’s not true.”

“It is. Well, for this instance, at least.” He says simply before he continues. “As much as I hate to say it, I don’t think we’ve got options here.”

“Yes we do, you said it yourself, T.”

“We don’t, Y/N, you were right. I didn’t wanna believe it before but now, I don’t think I have a choice.” He says, holding your gaze firmly. “The two of us going to the same school is out of the picture. Especially with application deadlines already being passed - I checked and I don’t know what I was thinking on Friday. And with us not going to be able to see each other even on holiday breaks… I don’t think that leaves anythin’ else on the table.”

“Thomas, really, you don’t have to do this. Don’t let me pressure you into something you don’t wanna do. Like you said, a relationship’s a two way street. We can work something out. I don’t know what, but we’ll try something else.”

“You’re not pressuring me, Y/N. What would that ‘something else’ be? Long distance? The chances of us visiting each other are slim, especially since I’ll be stuck at UVA for the majority of summer break for training camp. Especially since you’ll be in California and especially since you have no incentive to come back to town after you graduate.”

“You’re my incentive, T.”

He licks his lips and lets out a small laugh. “Baby, don’t fight me on this; you wanted this. Why the shift?”

“I don’t wanna lose you.” You say, voice quiet and close to tears.

Thomas reaches out across the table for your hand again. You lace your fingers with his and hold tightly. “I know. I don’t want to lose you either, but you were right, sweetheart. Seeing each other once a year isn’t good enough, let’s be real. I think we’d be hurting more than we'd be happy.”

You let out a long, deep sigh, squeezing his hand. He’s absolutely right and you knew this when you started this conversation on Friday — doesn’t mean that you don’t want to avoid it, though.

“We… we should…” He hesitates to continue the sentence. “We— God, why is this so hard?”

“You don’t have to say it if you don’t want to, T.”

He takes a deep breath before the words finally come out. “We should break up. This summer.”

It sounds foreign coming out of his mouth and his change in viewpoint surprises you still, even after talking it through with him.

“I don’t wanna be your shackle, Y/N.” He says, squeezing your hand comfortingly. “I want you to do great things without worryin’ about me. Just like you were sayin’ on Friday. And I don’t wanna risk getting to a point where we grow too distant we lose all hope.”

Your eyes tear up a little bit and you reach up to wipe at your eyes with your free hand.

“But that doesn’t mean I’m lettin’ you off easy, missy.” Thomas looks at you pointedly, his voice wavering slightly. He lets out a small bittersweet laugh before he continues. “I’m gonna consider this more of a ‘see you later’ than a ‘goodbye forever’ kinda thing. At some point, I don’t know or care when, we’ll continue where we left off. Mark my words.”

You laugh, wiping away a stray tear. You’ve definitely heard those words before. “Have you been talking to Maria lately?”

He gives you a confused look. “No, not since we went on that double date with her and Ellie like two weeks ago, why?”

“She said a similar thing to me when I vented to her this weekend.”

“Really? Oh. I thought I was clever for that one.”

“You were.” You smile, rubbing small circles on the top of his hand.

A comfortable silence settles. The waitress comes back with the check and you give her your card against Thomas’ protests. It’s not long before she comes back and wishes that you both have a good rest of your day.

“This is gonna fucking suck.” Thomas suddenly says bluntly.

“Yeah, it is.” You sigh. “But you know what? We’re gonna make the most of the next three months. We’ll laugh together, we’ll cry together, we’ll enjoy the good times, and when the time comes… we won’t look back. Then, maybe one day, when I’m an engineer and you’re in the NFL… we’ll meet again.”

He sends you a watery smile, giving your hand a small squeeze. “I’m countin’ on it, sweetheart.”

You reciprocate his smile as a small silence stretches in between you two.

Thomas’ eyes fall onto his untouched (and probably now cold) coffee and with his free hand he reaches for the cream. You take that as a sign to let his hand go to let him tend to his glorified bean water, but as you try to withdraw your fingers from his, he just holds on tighter.

“Um, excuse me? What do you think you’re doin’?” He asks, glancing at you like you just committed a sin. 

“Don’t you need to pour creamer?” You raise an eyebrow, wondering what the big deal is. “I don’t want you to spill it.”

“Girl, I can pour creamer with one hand, thank you very much.” And there’s the Thomas you know and love, not that he was ever absent in the first place, but it’s good to see him messing around again. “Let me hold your hand in peace because God knows how many more times I’ll get to do it. I gotta savor it.”

“Stoppp.” You whine, drawing the word out. “This is how you’re gonna act until graduation, isn’t it?”

“You complainin’, sweetheart?” He fake pouts as he carefully pours the cream in his coffee and stirs with a spoon. “I thought you loved me.”

You roll your eyes. “You know I love your dramatic ass.”

“Mhm. In more ways than one.” Thomas hums before he takes a sip of his coffee. He cringes when he realizes it’s cold and you laugh at his reaction.

“Ready to go yet?” You ask, amused.

He nods. “We’re not going back to class, though, are we? Because if that’s the case, then no.”

“What? Hell no. Who do you think I am?” You say as you both mutually let go of each other’s hand to get up from the booth.

“A goody-two-shoes, that’s what you are. Really, baby, I didn’t expect you to mention skipping class. That’s like… blasphemy for you.”

You shrug as he holds the front door open for you. “Guess you’re rubbing off on me.”

Thomas gives you a suggestive look and that causes you to smack his arm. “God, Thomas, not like that. Jesus.”

He lets out a full-bodied laugh as you approach your car and he grabs you by the waist as he leans back against the driver’s door. He presses a kiss to your forehead, hugging you close to him. “Just messin’.”

You roll your eyes before you pull back to look him up and down.

“When’d you get this jacket? Haven’t seen you in it before.” You muse, bringing your hands up to grab the denim on each side of his collar.

“A week ago? Maybe two? This is my first time wearing it, though.” He answers before he smirks. “Why? You like it?”

“Yeah, you look good in denim.”

“Do I, now?” He cocks his head slightly, amused as your face drifts closer.

“Mhm. The jacket really suits you.” You hum, releasing the material with one of your hands to slide it up to his jaw. You give him a soft kiss on his lips before you pull back. “Might look better on the floor, though. I don’t know. We’ll have to try and find out.”

Thomas’ eyebrows shoot up in surprise; he hadn’t expected you to turn the suggestive talk around on him. A smirk forms on his lips as he presses them to yours one more time.

“Your parents home?” He mumbles against you.

You pull away slightly to think about it for a second. “No, actually.”

“Well, then I guess we’re about to find out.”

⋆﹥━━━━━━━   ♛   ━━━━━━━﹤⋆

Over the next few months, you and Thomas keep the promise you gave to each other at the diner. You’ve stayed positive and lived in the moment and, to be honest, those three months have probably been the best three months of your life.

You and Thom are both making the most of your time, making sure to spend almost every weekend together. 

You study together even though you don’t share any classes. Most of the time is spent doing homework in silence, but you still enjoy each other’s presence.

For spring break, you go on a trip to the beach with Thomas, Maria, Ellie, James, Aaron, and a few more mutual friends. The week is full of banter and lots of fun-filled memories that you’ll remember for many years to come. It’s definitely one of the many highlights of senior year.

Thomas, being his over-the-top self, asks you to prom by spelling ‘Prom?’ out with bouquets of roses on your front lawn. And as if that isn’t enough, you wake to the sound of a live orchestral quartet playing your favorite song. You groggily walk over to your window to see where the sound is coming from and you’re met with the sight of your boyfriend grinning up at you with his arms gesturing around him proudly.

Of course you say yes. 

You would have said yes even if he had asked you casually — but what can you say… you’re a sucker for flowers and he knows it.

Prom night is an absolute blast. You feel like a stunner in your dress and Thomas looks unbelievably handsome in his fitted tux. You stay together the entire night, dancing, singing, laughing, and joking around with both your and his friends.

You almost lose track of the amount of date nights you have with Thomas. You have movie nights, some nights you go rollerskating, concerts, restaurants, hell, you even go paintballing together, which is something that neither of you had ever thought you’d get into.

But as June grows closer and closer, you can’t help but feel that heaviness settle back into your chest. You’d be lying if you said that you haven’t thought about backing out of this agreement the two of you have. In fact, you’ve spent countless nights lying wide awake (sometimes right next to Thomas), trying to figure out how things would go if you decide to stay together.

With your parents deciding to move down to Miami a week after you graduate, it pushes the day you move out to LA earlier than you had originally intended, which makes the idea of staying together seem next to impossible. Your mother says that it’ll be a good opportunity for you to get to know the LA area before classes start in August. 

This causes you and Thomas to have a more in-depth conversation about the plan and it ends with you two deciding to break it off a week before your big move. Both of you are in agreement that it would be best for the both of you, so that you have some time to recover. You figure it will be easier that way.

So, when the time comes to start packing your things for your move to California (and your parents’ move to Florida), you get stressed out. You notice that Thomas’ and your enthusiasm/positivity starts to fade as the date of graduation creeps closer and closer.

Which brings you to the present.

On the day of graduation, reality finally hits you. Because not only are you recognizing the fact that you’re leaving the love of your life in eight days to go to school in Cali, you’re also leaving Maria who has been a constant in your life since elementary school.

Maria plans to stay in town and go to community college to knock out all her general education classes before she transfers to a four-year university. Luckily, her girlfriend Ellie has the same idea, so they’ll be taking the same path after high school.

At least they will be together.

Unlike you and Thom, who are currently posing for a photo together for his and your parents who stand behind their phones grinning and teary eyed. You both give your best smiles to the cameras, trying to preserve the memory as best as possible without breaking.

Surprisingly, you and Thomas have stayed strong despite the impending suspension of your relationship that lingers in the atmosphere between you. Although teary eyed because you are saying goodbye to a lot of friends and faculty you’ve gotten to know over the years, you and Thomas don’t cry on graduation day. You don’t cry during the ceremony, you don’t cry during the many pictures you take that day, and you don’t cry at the large family dinner the Jefferson household holds for both you and Thomas.

You’ve both toughed it out both privately and in public. But graduation day eventually comes to its inevitable end, and the day after begins, marking your last day with Thomas Jefferson as your boyfriend.

The two of you make your last day special and have a day-long picnic in a nearby park. You wake up early and spend the entire day together, laughing, kissing, talking, and having as much fun as you can with the inevitable future looming over your heads. You both make the best of your time together, and that’s really all you can ask for.

As the day goes by, your time together begins to run out. And both of your composures begin to fade as each second passes.

While your curfew to be back home is 10pm, you and Thomas decide to hold onto each other a bit longer, so he drives you home and you sneak him into your room when your parents are too busy packing in the basement. They know that this is your last day with Thomas, so when you’re distracting them while Thomas makes his way up the stairs, you tell them that you’re going to sleep early. They comfort you for a few minutes but leave you to your own grief, knowing to respect your wish of ‘sleeping the night off.’

Little do they know, you and Thomas decide to have one more special night together. 

When you finally make your way up to your bedroom, Thomas is sitting on your bed, glancing at the half-empty boxes in the corner of your room that need to be filled. Half of your room is packed up, but you’ve put off packing lately to spend time with Thom before you physically can’t anymore.

You let out a sniffle and you don’t realize that you are on the verge of crying until you see Thomas begin to break, too.

“Come here.” He murmurs, standing up from your bed to pull you into a tight hug. 

You both cry into each other’s shoulders, fully letting yourselves go emotionally as you let out your pent up sadness. You’re getting each other’s clothing wet with tears, but neither of you care as you cling onto each other, not wanting to let go.

You don’t know how long you stay there or how long it takes until both of you calm down enough so that your tears fall silently.

“I told you this was gonna fucking suck.” Thomas mumbles against you, causing you to let out a laugh and sob at the same time.

You don’t respond, but after a few seconds, you pull away from his shoulder to look at him. Silence stretches between you before you whisper, “I love you.”

“I love you.” He echoes without hesitation before he leans his forehead against yours. You both bask in each other’s presence for a few more beats until Thomas speaks again, his words shaking. “Football won’t be the same without you, Y/N. I won’t be the same without you.”

“You played football for years before I became a part of your life. You’ll be fine, T.” You say quietly, though you are absolutely sure of your words. You bring a hand up to cup his cheek and wipe some of his tears away. “You’re gonna move on and be great and show people what you’re capable of.”

Silence stretches between the two of you before you take a step away from him as you remember something. Thomas frowns at your sudden withdrawal, but you explain yourself as you both wipe at your faces to dry them as best as each of you can.

“That reminds me…” You say, digging into one of the open boxes in the corner of your room until you feel a familiar piece of fabric. You pull out Thomas’ purple hoodie — the one he gave to you the night you officially became a couple. Damn, it feels so long ago now, but it hasn’t even been two years. “Here. You should probably take this back.”

He lets out a small laugh and takes the purple fabric from you to examine it. He seems lost in thought, but after a few moments, he shakes his head and hands it back to you. “Nah. Keep it.”

When you don’t take it, his hand reaches out to one of yours and he wraps your fingers around the fabric. You try to protest, but he continues.

“Don’t want you forgettin’ about me, now, do we?” He chuckles dryly.

“I won’t forget you, Thomas.” Your voice sounds so sure of your words that Thomas has no choice but to believe you.

He swallows and looks down for a second before he glances back into your eyes. “I know.”

“You’re gonna forget about me, though.”

Thomas shakes his head and his eyebrows scrunch together and he looks like he’s about to break again before he reaches out to pull you close.

“Never.” He mumbles into your hair before he pulls back. “Hey, I mean it from the bottom of my heart. I will never forget you, Y/N Y/L/N. I couldn’t even if I tried.”

He brings his hands up to cup both sides of your face. His thumbs brush some fresh tears away before he continues to talk. “These eyes? Unforgettable. This beautiful face? Ingrained in my brain forever, sweetheart, I promise you that.” One of his thumbs lightly brushes over your lips. “Don’t even get me started on these lips. I’ll miss them for sure.”

Thomas pauses for a second before his beautiful brown eyes gaze into yours, letting you know that he truly means his next words. “I’m never going to forget any part of you, Y/N.”

You stay there, gazing at one another with nothing but pure love and admiration. Without breaking eye contact, you gingerly put Thomas’ hoodie (which is apparently yours now) back in the box you removed it from. You reach up to pull Thomas’ lips down to yours passionately. 

Thomas responds, instantly reciprocating the kiss with the same amount of emotion that you pour into it. He moves his hands from your cheeks to pull your body closer to him. Your hand digs into the material of his shirt and suddenly, you can’t get enough of each other. You both need more — to be closer — but neither of you rush anything. You take it slow and try to take in every little detail about each other.

As layer after layer of clothing comes off, you two savor the feeling of each other’s lips, bodies, and touch. Every soft moan, every sigh, every gasp, every kiss… each and every moment that you spend with each other is savored in one final heat-filled act of love.

Afterwards, you both lie in your bed under the blankets, Thomas’ arm around your naked body and your head on his bare chest. You cherish each other’s presence for one final time, basking in silence until Thomas finally breaks it, his voice barely above a whisper.

“You still sure about this, sweetheart?”

You are quiet for a few seconds before you answer, sotto voce. “Yeah, T.” You listen to his steady heartbeat as you bring your hand up to rest on his torso. “You?”

He nods slowly. “Yeah.”

A few seconds pass and you subconsciously trace little circles on his abdomen with your thumb. Thomas’ arm tightens around your waist as he pulls your closer.

“I’m sorry things have to end this way.” He mumbles against you, his deep voice reverberating throughout his chest.

“Don’t be.” You murmur, exhausted from the emotional toll this day has taken on you. But you wouldn’t trade it for the world — unless there’s a way where it doesn’t end with you and Thomas going your separate ways.

You shake your head at yourself for thinking so negatively. You promised each other something back at that diner.

“It’s not the end, T.” You speak out loud, shifting so that your head rests on the pillow and you’re face to face with Thomas. “You said it yourself before and now it’s my turn to say it: this is a ‘see you later,’ alright? So I better fucking see you later, or else.”

He laughs (oh, you’re gonna miss that laugh) and his hand slides up the curve of your hip to pull himself closer to you. “Back at ya, princess.”

You both sniffle, but you know that your time together, for the time being, at least, has come to an end — especially as both of you begin to drift off no matter how hard you try to stay awake.

“I don’t want to say goodbye.” You whisper in Thomas’ warm embrace.

Thomas responds after he brushes a strand of your hair behind your ear. “You don’t have to.” 

So neither of you do. 

And you both fall asleep, bodies entangled with one another, content to be in each other’s embrace one last time before you move away.

The next morning, Thomas wakes up before you do and he slowly untangles himself from you as he wills himself to stay strong. He dresses himself as quietly as he can before he presses one last kiss to your temple.

Then, he takes one last look at your sleeping form before he leaves, keeping his word to you and not giving either of you a chance to say your goodbyes.

⋆﹥━━━━━━━   ♛   ━━━━━━━﹤⋆

A week later, your heart beats frantically as you drop a box of things you plan on leaving behind against the wall outside of your room.

It’s minutes before you’re supposed to leave for the airport — you want to leave early in case something goes wrong and you get delayed. Sighing, you walk back into your empty room to check for any last things you may have missed packing into the many boxes that are already stashed into your parents’ car.

“Y/N?” You hear your brother call out from downstairs. “I think there’s someone waiting for you outside.”

Who could it be? You’ve already said your goodbyes to Maria earlier that day when she’d helped you finish packing.

Erik gives you a sad smile as you pass by and you give him a confused look.

“What? Who is it?” You ask, eyebrows raised. “You know we have to leave in a few, right?”

“You’ll see.” Erik says, causing you to sigh.

After determining that your final sweep (even though you’ve done it three times now) is done, you make your way past Erik and open the front door. When you make it onto your driveway, you’re shocked to see Thomas Jefferson standing there with a sheepish grin and his hands in his pockets, looking as handsome as ever.

“Thomas…” You trail off, surprised to see him after your last day together the week prior. “What are you doing here?”

Your boyfriend (well… ex now, technically) walks closer and takes his hands out of his pockets. You can see him fidgeting with his fingers as he speaks. “I uh…” He breathes out a nervous laugh before one of his hands reaches up to rub the back of his neck. 

You watch him from a few feet away as he struggles to get his words out.

“Well, I… as your… not-boyfriend wanted to say goodbye.” He says softly, shifting his eyes to the ground briefly before looking back up to gaze into yours. “I changed my mind. Leaving without saying goodbye just gutted me and made me feel like we had unfinished business. I had to see you one more time, Y/N. I-I’m sorry.” Thomas’ voice is unstable as he apologizes and you feel tears well up in your eyes as he continues. “I know this breaks our agreement and everything, but I couldn’t just let you leave before—”

You cut him off by stalking forward to wrap him into a crushing hug — a hug the two of you desperately need at the moment. Thomas doesn’t waste a second before his arms encircle your waist to hold you just as tightly to him.

Even though you had spent the entire day with each other just a week prior, the need to see each other — to feel each other — one last time has consumed you both. You agree that waking up to an empty bed without saying a proper goodbye (even though it’s what you had initially wanted) had crushed you, and it had caused you to be an emotional wreck to the following two days.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbles, sniffling before letting out a bittersweet laugh. “I just made this so much more fucking difficult for us.”

“It’s okay.” You reciprocate his laugh as tears stream down your face. “It’s so worth it, T.”

A few minutes pass by as you hold each other close.

“I know I’ve said this before, but I’m really gonna miss you.”

“I’m gonna miss you too, T.” You say quietly. “So much.”

You’ve lost track of time and your mother is the one to finally bring you and Thomas back to reality.

“Y/N, we gotta go, honey…” Your mom speaks as softly as possible from her position at the front door, and you can see the guilt on her face as she watches her daughter’s heart break. “You’re gonna be late for your flight.”

You turn back to Thomas and give him an apologetic look. “I’m sorry…”

“Don’t apologize, Y/N. You gave me the best year and eight months I could ever ask for… so thank you.”

You look up at him for a second before you sob and crash into his chest. “I love you.”

“I know. I love you, too.” He replies softly before he steels himself. “But you have a flight to catch. Which means you need to go.”

You give him one last kiss, it’s watery from both of your tears but neither of you care.

“Go be great.” He says when you pull back. “You deserve the world, Y/N.”

He holds your hand until the grip slips when you take a step towards the car.

“See you later, Thomas.”

He smiles through his tears before he replies. “I’ll see you later, sweetheart.”

You get in the car and a few seconds later, your mother pulls out of the driveway (apparently Erik and your father are going to drive separately). As the car drives away, Thomas waves from your driveway until you can’t see him anymore. You know that’s the last you’ll see of him for a while.

And maybe, just maybe, you regret leaving him behind.

But a voice lingers in the back of your mind that gives you some sort of relief:

If it’s meant to be, then it’s meant to be.

[ddaehyeon]

last christmas

pairing: kang minhee + reader + ham wonjin

genre: angst, fluff (?)

word count: 6.4k words

summary:  your relationship with minhee had ended almost a year ago. now, someone else was holding your heart closer than minhee ever did. after confessing, wonjin did nothing but to shower you with great heights of affection. it was all good until you met minhee this year on the cafe the two of you used to frequent. a wave of realization came to daunt you-- maybe after all this time, minhee was still that someone special you'd give your heart to.

a/n: finally!! i’ve been working on this for the past few days and finished this earlier. only edited once! a very light one ((i’ll probably proofread this again some other day)) this is longer than expected lmao i enjoyed writing this a lot. send me some feedbacks through asks/reblogs. i’ll appreciate it so much :> merry christmas :DD 

not requested | play this: last christmas | masterlist ☆ request

thick layer of snow surrounded the area, each house in the small town decorated in greens and reds. the weather was becoming colder and colder each passing day. its breeze not giving mercy. christmas songs were being played in almost all the shops. people crowded various stores in hopes of finding the most appropriate gifts for their friends, families, or special someone. 

a few shopping bags were beside you as you rested in one of your favorite cafes, a warm drink settled on your table. the aroma of coffee mingled with the fragrance of the cedarwood scented candles that were placed all over the cafe. a familiar christmas song had been playing; its mellow tune giving a cozy feeling. the bell continuously chimed as customers entered, you took pleasure in watching people, who like you, were doing their christmas shopping. 

it was all good until your stomach sunk at the sight of a familiar person. his towering height distinct among the passing customers. and maybe your eyes had been selective from the very beginning since from the entrance up to the counter, your eyes followed him. a tug in the heartstring; it was a wonder how a simple sight of him was enough for memories to come in like a wave, crashing in your mind. 

kang minhee. 

how could you forget the person you could say you’ve loved the most? the person who first broke your heart, leaving you with hundred shards to pick up. 

the cafe itself held various memories from the two of you, each anniversary and hundred days spent in the local shop. a witness to the shared peals of laughter, exchanged aspirations, and uttered future plans. it was seemingly a perfect relationship, until it became a lot colder than winter days. both driven in career and passion, none of you was able to pause and take care of the dwindling bond.

well, you tried. but it was a few steps behind.

ache lick upon your senses; a surging wildfire that you had no control over. you formerly thought that there were questions better left unanswered. something you had learned to accept. but now that he was walking towards you, each query began to pop into your mind. like a spot of ink to clean water, it spread ever so swiftly.

still fresh in your mind. almost a year ago, you found a note in your front door. a single stem of yellow tulips fixing it to the floor. the penmanship was so familiar. for years of being together, you’d been accustomed to minhee’s handwriting. but not with the words written on the letter. only a few words, yet enough to shake your whole world.

‘i think i’m falling out of love. i’m sorry. - k. mh’

and just like a bubble that popped; no trace of him was found the next day.

“are you sitting with someone else?” minhee asked, stopping just beside your table. those were a familiar set of words. it was how the two of you met at this very coffee shop. the only difference was that before, the two of you were complete strangers. now, you were strangers, but with shared memories. 

you suck in a breath, trying to calm down yourself. a terribly awkward smile crossing your lips as you shook your head. 

nodding, he took the seat adjacent to yours. “it’s been a while.”

“it has.” you knew minhee wasn’t a fan of shallow conversations, he would only be doing so when he ended up being in an extremely awkward situation. which to say was exactly where he was at that moment. 

the questions in your mind had been urging you to speak more. to ask him what happened. to ask him why did he not try to talk it out with you. to ask him why it was only a note. to ask him where it went wrong. 

a single question had been blocking those other strangled ones from coming out— am i actually ready to hear it? 

as if minhee was able to hear your mind, he spoke. “i’m sorry.” his voice was soft, almost inaudible. yet clear enough to go through your ears, down to your stomach, allowing it to be twisted into several knots. a certain sensation came hugging your chest; the wound still fresh regardless of how long it had been. 

“for what?” you asked as if you weren’t sure of what he was talking about. well, in fact, you weren’t. out of all the ones your mind came up with, which one was he apologizing for?

right at the moment minhee was to open his mouth to speak, your eyes met. it hasn't changed a lot, it was still beautiful— the only thing different was the dimmed brightness. sparks no longer emanating from his orbitals. “i’m sorry for leaving you the way i did.”

“it’s okay, minhee.” a smile was your only cover, but it was a foolish act. you knew minhee could read over those feigned smiles… or can he really?

“it’s not,” minhee replied. “leaving you just like that wasn’t okay. it wasn’t what you deserved. i should’ve spoken to you rather than hiding through a form of a short note.”

“there’s nothing we can do about that now though.” you let go of a chuckle; ones that didn’t hold joy nor sadness, something pulled out only to fill the gap between sentences. “we’re off to different paths now.”

after his disappearance, you dived into the preparations for a small shop of scented candles. and through your other mutual friends, you were able to get a few details about what happened to minhee. a job offer from a game company had kept him busy with all the programming and coding.

“right.” with a nod, a faint smile appeared on his countenance. “do you have—”

before minhee could even proceed with what he was supposed to say, your phone began ringing. you fished out your phone, holding it close to your ears as you answered the caller, wonjin. “i’m at the cafe near the flower shop we frequent.”

if earlier had been awkward for both you and minhee, the next minutes that followed was even more awkward. with minhee sitting just across you with a silent stare, his order seemed to be taking much time to arrive on this table. what was he supposed to ask earlier anyway? 

“what were you saying?” you asked, surprisingly without much thinking.

“ah, just if you were in a relationship.” minhee scratched his cheek before continuing his words. “you don’t have to answer it now though.”

the bell chimed, indicating the arrival of another customer. this time it was wonjin, his footsteps drawing closer to you. a vibrant smile was on his lips as he stopped just beside your table, greeting you before looking at minhee then back to you. “ready to go?”

you hummed as a response as you collected your shopping bags, which wonjin was quick to gather in his own hand right after. “i’ll go now, minhee. it was nice to see you.”

“it was nice to see you too. take care,” minhee said, watching you stand and walk towards the glass door. 

there were a lot of questions in your mind the moment you saw minhee; no much explanation was offered. only an apology. and perhaps that was the best way to end it. giving him one final glance, another realization hit you. minhee didn’t actually order anything. 

if the day had been cold, the evening was far colder, each breath formed a fleeting cloud in the air. stars had already scattered on the night sky along with the crescent moon which was slowly traveling across the sky. 

“ah,” wonjin began, making you look at him with a brow raised. however, he was quick to decline his words. unable to continue right away. as if thinking if it was proper for him to speak.

“is something wrong, wonjin?” you asked, a little worried. 

averting his gaze away from you, he watched the few passing cars as he bit his lips, still contemplating. using his free hand, he scratched the back of his head. “just…”

“just?” you didn’t tear off your look on him, urging him to continue.

a light chuckle left his lips and by the sound of it, laced with awkwardness. carefully, he resumed his words. “i hope you don’t mind me asking.” he fixed his gaze on the sidewalk, still hesitant to make eye contact with you. “the guy earlier… was he your ex?”

it was a simple question, the answer only lying in between the scale of yes or no. but you found yourself unable to pull a word right away. 

standing beside you was wonjin. one of your closest friends. and most of all, someone who had vocalized his feelings for you. his love was not only of warm and affectionate words, it all came with actions and a huge amount of effort. a person your friends would tell you that they envy you for having. holding him close to your heart, regardless of having no labels attached, there was no way in hell you’d be favoring the idea of hurting him. 

you shifted your gaze, looking at the frosty path that led to your apartment. “yes, he is,” you finally answered warily. 

“i see.” wonjin nodded, a small smile coming to his lips. “how do you feel about meeting him earlier?”

one of the things you like about wonjin was the way he would check up on you. the way he would ask about your day and listen to your stories with leveled enthusiasm, eager to hear how you felt about it. for wonjin, it was something out of habit; but for you, it meant a lot. for someone to be so attentive and interested in your wellbeing, wonjin was just perfect the way he was. 

and it was the reason why you also dislike wonjin. he was just too perfect of a person. someone you were afraid to hold. someone you were afraid to end up breaking. someone you thought you don’t deserve.

“i don’t know.” a chuckle served as punctuation to your words. you weren’t sure how to feel about it. the way your conversation closed made you want to ask minhee for more explanations. how did he exactly feel during the time he left you? what was his intention when he talked to you again? overall, confusion laid flat on your stomach. but you decided not to tell wonjin about that part. your mind will probably be as restless as you were exactly a year ago with the same set of questions popping out. 

a cool gust of wind blew and despite the thick layer of clothes you were wearing, you shivered. 

“you didn’t wear a scarf again,” wonjin remarked as he removed his own scarf, stopping in front of you to wrap it around your neck. a satisfied smile sat on his countenance as he was doing so. he patted the pocket of his coat and retrieved hot packs from it, playfully squeezing it to your cheeks before putting it in your hands. “you should wear warmer clothes. take care of yourself better would you?”

if there was one thing you would easily recognize wonjin for, it would be his kindness. you met wonjin a month after minhee disappeared. and your friends associated the encounter with the known saying, ‘when someone leaves, it's because someone else is about to arrive.’ regarding wonjin as the person to fill the gap minhee had left.

flowers were blooming back then, your head filled with the ‘why’s and possible answers to all the questions related to minhee. the preparation for your small business, a shop of scented candles, had become a major escape. taeyoung, your cousin and a fan of scented candles, was the person who was supposed to help you organize the fixtures in the shop. an unanticipated schedule made him unable to come though, so instead, he sent another person to aid you— wonjin. the ever so cheery boy who talked to you as if you knew him for years already. maybe it was one of wonjin’s talents. to make people feel comfortable around him. 

he didn’t become a worker in your shop since he had a job of his own, a producer and sometimes a host, in one of the known entertainment channels. despite this, every once in a while he would drop by your shop to buy a scented candle, musing how it helped him calm down every evening and made it easier for sleep to come by. 

on every visit, the two of you became closer, ending up meeting not only in the shop but also outside. it ranged from him accompanying you to pick up items from your suppliers to going out for a movie or to simply hang out. 

his confession didn’t come off as a surprise, a lot of your friends had been telling you of the possibilities that one day wonjin would finally gather enough courage to tell you how he felt. he didn’t urge you to answer his confession though, instead, asked you to give him a chance in proving how much he loves you. 

the train of thoughts you had made you unable to notice the time. and when you had snapped out of it, the two of you were already standing in front of your apartment. 

wonjin handed you your shopping bags.

“you’re still coming with me tomorrow, right?” a plan had been set days ago, he was to come with you to buy the recent novel of your favorite author. 

“of course.” he grinned before patting your head. “i’ll fetch you at 8am?”

“10am,” you corrected.

a chuckle was heard from him. “alright, sleepyhead. i’ll pick you up at 10am.”

“thank you.” you flashed him a smile which he reciprocated. 

leaning closer, his hand still on the top of your head, he planted a soft kiss on your forehead— it was the only kiss you had ever consented him to do. during the normal days, it would give your stomach a fuzzy feeling, but today was different. it contributed to your confusion. or perhaps deep-seated guilt.

departing from wonjin, you entered your apartment. having no energy to walk to your room, you threw yourself on the couch. a deep sigh left the confines of your lips. however, it didn’t pull off the sensation stuck in your chest. 

days ago you were so sure about answering wonjin’s confession— to finally give him the reply he’d been waiting to get. but now, everything’s all over the place. your world shook once again by the same person.

“minhee, why did you have to come back?”

the soft tune of nat king cole’s the christmas song enveloped the bookstore. unlike the other neighboring stores, there were only a few customers inside. something you considered good as you can finally browse through collections without having to deal with the bustling crowd. 

as agreed, wonjin went to your apartment two minutes before 10am. a hot coffee and fluffy pancake which he bought served as your breakfast. by the time you arrived in the bookstore, it was already almost lunch. 

“i’ll be in the manga and comic section, just go there once you’re ready to go,” wonjin said, seemingly excited by his own plans. “after that, we’ll eat lunch, your treat since i already bought you breakfast earlier. it would be just fair enough, no?”

you chuckled at his words and he grinned. “okay, okay, mister wonjin. lunch’s on me.”

“that’s a deal, yeah?” he looked at the shelf in front of you, a line of contemporary fiction novels seemingly freshly delivered were displayed there. “heard they restocked today, that mystery thriller book should be there if not we can just check other bookstores after lunch.”

“i think it’s here. i contacted the owner earlier and they said she was able to hold several copies.” a smile crept upon your visage. “he told me to be fast though since a lot of people are looking for it as well.”

“but you woke up late.”

rolling your eyes, you shook your head before withdrawing. “yes, i woke up late.”

without much thought, your feet brought you to the mystery fiction section of the books. it would be a definite lie to say that you haven’t memorized the sections in this bookstore and where to find the books you were looking for. it was one of the shops that, just like the cafe, held hundreds of memories of you and minhee. 

fingers grazing on the spine of the books, you pulled some along the way, checking the synopsis. there might be some other interesting novels that could capture your attention before you grab your desired book. 

shifting your gaze from a detective themed book to the person standing just in front of you, you looked at the book he was holding. it was the exact same book you were searching for. your breath caught halfway when your eyes met with the other. minhee was the one examining the book. 

of all genres, minhee enjoyed mystery fiction a lot. just like an old movie, a memory played in your head. the two of you were a regular of this bookstore, making you a known couple to the old man who owned the store. every time a new release of your favorite series became available, it was already expected that the two of you would be there the next day. 

“it’s good to see the two of you again,” the owner said, his old raspy voice resounding from behind you made you step closer to minhee as you looked at him. “minhee’s back now, i see? you’ve probably missed your boyfriend, y/n.”

you never told the owner about how minhee and you had practically ended your relationship over a year ago. the old man was so fond of the two of you that such news could probably bring a good shock to him. so you simply told him that minhee had to focus on his career and transferred to another town. 

minhee shot you a confused look and you forced a smile, mentally telling him to just go with the flow. 

“doesn’t want to be disturbed?” the old man laughed, walking closer to minhee and giving his shoulder a light tap. “take care of y/n.”

there was a smile on minhee’s lips as he nodded his head, you weren’t sure if it was a phony one. he bobbed his head up and down, reassuring the old man. “i will.”

you will? you thought. but you’ve already failed to do so long ago. 

the way your body reacted to his words was something you hated. like a sunray seeping through the bushy leaves, it gave you a peck of hope. something you wished didn’t exist. you had already convinced yourself that it was not worth it to wait for minhee or try to rekindle your relationship with him, yet here you were hoping for a few words. hoping for him to tell you those magical words that could make you become a fool over his love again. 

he seemed to have already moved on, so why won’t you simply do the same?

“y/n, y/n, look at what i’ve found—” wonjin halted your train of thoughts, his words interrupted by the sight of you and minhee together. a slight bow was given to minhee as a form of greeting which minhee mirrored. 

your lips formed a thin line, head dwelling with thoughts that were only related to the man standing in front of you. turning to look at wonjin who had already lowered the book he was holding, you gave him a tightlipped smile. “let’s go. the book’s no longer available.” 

“it’s not?” by the look in your eyes, he was already able to decipher what you needed— an escape. “let’s just check the other bookstores then. i’ll just pay for this at the counter.”

as you were walking towards wonjin, minhee spoke, enough to make you stop. 

“you can have this,” extending his hand for you to get the book, minhee said. 

shaking your head, you curtly looked at him to reply before following wonjin to the counter. “no, take it.”

it was no surprise that the next few days were spent with your mind aimlessly wandering in the memory lane, reliving the memories with minhee you had a year ago. the more you told yourself to stop thinking about him, the more your brain would push more memories of minhee. the way he would go to your apartment and scold you for oversleeping. the way he would check up on you every evening and sometimes would end up with snacks in your front door during the wee hours of the night. the way he’d be more excited than you in decorating your apartment with christmas decors. the way you’d wake up a few days before christmas with him in your room, tossing you a coat and telling you to get off the bed and do last-minute shopping. the way he’d spend christmas eves with you, by the couch cuddling. 

christmas sure was a reminder of minhee as you basically spent most of it with him. it was two different entities, but hard to separate. 

“are you okay?” taeyoung asked, lighting up an orchid scented candle on the table. the wave of customers had subsided, offering a few minutes of free time for the two of you who had been pacing back and forth wrapping candles. 

you nodded despite being unsure.

“minhee’s back. have you met with him already?” out of all the questions taeyoung could ask, you wondered why it was the one he followed up. “it’s a short vacation. now’s your time to have all your questions answered.”

you chuckled, pulling a stool for you to sit on. minhee by far wasn’t able to answer your questions, instead, he was able to open a box of queries you didn’t notice had been in the back of your head for a while. it was like pandora’s box had been opened to spread chaos in your head. “i’ve met him twice already.” you shook your head, checking the list of inventory items for the nth time today. “it’s not helping.”

“not helping? why? how do you feel about minhee?” 

for the first time in a while, you allow your heart to speak, rather than have it contained. “i’ve honestly missed him. i’d jump to hug him the first time i saw him, but something stopped me from doing so.”

“and what stopped you?” taeyoung dragged a chair to sit across you. 

“the pain he had left me to deal with the moment i read his note for me last year.” you exhaled in an attempt to get rid of the sensation that went to hug your chest. it was the last thing you needed at that very moment. 

taeyoung’s expressions were altered, displaying concern as he looked at you. “are you perhaps…”

he didn’t have to finish his question for you to answer. “i think i’m still in love with minhee. not of the same height as before, but i wasn’t able to move on and now i’m stuck in the spiral of my feelings for him, hoping. desperately hoping that we’d be back together again.”

“i thought you’ve already moved on.”

“i thought so as well.” you feigned a smile. tears began to wet your eyes, but none of it fell. you didn’t allow it to fall. “but i was wrong. it was easier said than done.” 

it was funny how after all this time of you trying to bury your feelings away, a single appearance of minhee made you dig it all up. you tried to remember, but can’t. just how long had you been lying to yourself?

“how about wonjin? you planned to answer his confession, right? what will you do?” another string of questions you weren’t even certain of what to answer. you were too lost in the labyrinth minhee had set for you, leaving you with no space to think about what you will do with wonjin. 

“wonjin doesn’t deserve half-baked affection,” you admitted. burying your face in your hands, you sighed defeatedly. “i don’t know.”

“but he doesn’t deserve to wait this long as well,” taeyoung replied. “you know what’s worse than being rejected? it’s being left with no proper answer which leaves you in an in-between state, not knowing what to do with your feelings.”

you failed to utter a reply. you weren’t the only one hurting. you were also subconsciously hurting the person who had decided to shower you with nothing but love. 

the shop door swung open, the bell chiming the same way it did in the cafe when you reunited with minhee.

“can we talk for a moment?” at first, you thought it was only your imagination. you might have been thinking of minhee a lot that you heard his voice. but no. standing in front of the counter was minhee, both hands gripping the edge of the counter for support. he was panting as if he ran his way to the shop. “i have something important to say.”

silence. 

it was all that covered the room where you would usually make scented candles, the only room available for you and minhee to talk. you sat across each other with quiet looks. regardless of how minhee had practically rushed to go to the shop to talk with you, he found himself unable to start right away. not sure of where to begin. 

“i’m sorry about what i did last year.” finally, minhee broke the stillness that had been enveloping the room. “you have everything figured out during that year, ready to make this shop possible while i was still struggling to find a stable position in my own career. i became afraid that i will end up holding you back.” he paused, trying to look for the best words to say. for the words that could hurt less. he was aware of how much damage he had caused, adding another stack of it was the last thing he wished to do. “this is a stupid reason, but i’ve felt like i didn’t deserve you back then. that i’m someone not worthy to keep you. i’m really sorry.”

that?

that was the reason why he slowly drifted away?

that was the reason behind the note he gave you two days after christmas?

“then you should have at least tried to make yourself worthy of me!” you fired off, unable to hold the ache that made you driven to speak. 

“that’s what i did, y/n,” minhee replied, his eyes slightly damped by the tears that were threatening to fall. never did you see minhee cry back then. not in the most tragic movies, not in failures. “i stepped out of your life because the minhee back then was not the minhee you deserved.”

stray tears had already fallen from your eyes, tracing your cheeks. “then why leave me with a single note instead of talking it out with me?” 

“because i was afraid.” blinking away his own tears, minhee took a deep breath before continuing. “afraid that if i ever meet you one last time, i will be unable to walk away.”

“but how about me?” your voice cracked; heart engulfed with a mixture of pain and sadness. “how about me and my feelings?”

minhee extended his hands to hold yours but stopped halfway. it was as if he thought that he wasn’t the person that could best comfort you during that time. once again, he was holding himself back. there was no plausible reason to counter your question. and he was aware that apologies would never be enough to mend a heart that had been broken. “i’m terribly sorry.” 

“what now?” the question shot like a dagger that cut through the air. “what do you want to do?”

“i want to make it up to you,” minhee replied. he knelt next to your chair and now, without holding back, reached for your face to wipe your tears away. “i want to prove that i’m worthy of you.”

his gentle touch did nothing to stop your tears, rather it made it unstoppable. good thing you were sitting for if not, your legs had probably betrayed you. 

“y/n, i’m still in love with you.” minhee freed himself, a tear cascading on his cheek. 

in this very shop months ago, he found a good amount of courage to look for you. to check up on you and explain everything. how he regretted sending that note, how he regretted leaving just like that. however, when he saw you and wonjin through the glass door, he froze. the smile you had on your lips which used to give his heart a warm feeling ended up doing the opposite— a stab. so that was how it feels like to see the person you loved the most happy with someone else? 

he thought it was what he deserved. after all, he ended up hurting you. for so long, he tried to not show his face to you, to not touch your seemingly perfect life. and maybe it was so selfish of him to try entering your life once again, but there was nothing he could do. every single thing around him reminded him of you.

from the cafes near his work down to all the flowers blooming— each of your favorites memorized by heart and offered reminders of all shared memories. a reminder that regardless of how many times he attempted to erase each trace of you, you were the only one he could ever love. something that led him to going to the shops you would always frequent in. hoping to bump by with you. to exchange words with you. 

you wanted to tell him about how you felt but chose not to.

another person coming to your mind, how about wonjin? how about the person who accompanied you during the time you were facing the ache led by minhee’s actions? how about the person who prioritized your happiness more than anything else? how about the person who did nothing but love you? 

“but minhee…” you trailed, thoughts clamoring in your head, clashing. “i’m afraid i can’t be back with you. i don’t want to hurt wonjin.”

empty stare directed to the television which wasn’t even playing. your mind elsewhere. after what happened earlier, you become unsure who to face, what to do, and what to feel. a voice in your heart whispers your real feelings, something your mind kept on blocking. your thoughts emerging to be more powerful than anything else. 

a few knocks on the door pulled you out of your reverie. it was already evening. who could that be? your feet were heavy as you trudged towards the front door. and by the time you opened it, there was a definite tug in your heartstring. wonjin was standing outside, a smile curved in his brim— it wasn’t as bright as it usually was. 

you gestured him to come inside as it was freezing cold outside. he didn’t go further to the living room though, rather, stopping by the area which had all your shoes in there. 

“taeyoung told me that you forgot to bring this home earlier.” wonjin handed you a paper bag which contained the fragrance oils you were supposed to use for some candle making tonight. “you seem a little out of it, are you okay?”

a realization.

you didn’t answer his question and threw him a query yourself. “you went to the shop earlier?”

wonjin nodded and hummed, confirming your horror. “i was there.”

“wonjin…”

the gloom that traced the corner of his lips through a forced smile was easily noticeable. he took a breath, his smile unwavering. “are you still in love with minhee?” a chuckle left his lips, and even with his attempt to make it sound as cheerful, it didn’t manage to give off such emotion. “i was in the shop earlier and overheard your conversation with him.”

all the words you could possibly utter failed you. they were all stuck in your throat like a lump. 

pressing his lips into a tightlipped smile, wonjin’s eyes were fixated on the floor. it was as if a single glance at you would be enough to tell him the truth. something he knew he wasn’t ready to hear yet. something he, just like you, had been trying to escape from.  

the silence you offered became an answer to his question though. 

“you know, i’m not your boyfriend.” he lifted his head to gaze at you. “it’s absolutely fine for you to have feelings for minhee.”

“but what about you wonjin?”

a flick on your forehead was his initial response. “dummy, why are you thinking about me?” this time, lighthearted laughter flowed out of the confines of his mouth. “it’s your feelings. i love you, but never did i require you to love me back. i just wanted to love you, nothing else. all i wish for you is to be happy— to be genuinely happy with the person you actually love.” wonjin shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal, yet his eyes were painted in sheer ache with tears threatening to fall. “and if it’s not me, what can i do? it’s okay, y/n.”

you weren’t the one being rejected, yet your tears were first to fall. “i’m sorry, wonjin. i really appreciate your feelings, but… i’m sorry.”

it’s over now, no? he thought before stepping closer to you.

without much thought, wonjin wrapped his arms around you, caressing the back of your head. “you don’t have to apologize. it’s alright.” he detached himself from the hug to only cup your face and look at you in the eyes. there was nothing harder than having to let go of the person that was never yours, to begin with. to push away your feelings for the sake of the person you love. “don’t hold back because of me, alright? you deserve to be loved and you deserve to be with the person you love.”

“wonjin…” a choked sob became your pause. “thank you. i’m really grateful for you.”

bobbing his head up and down, his smile, even sad, was genuine. he planted a kiss on your forehead. it would be probably the last time he would ever do that. usually, it served as a goodbye kiss, a separation that would only last for a day. but now, it was of a longer duration. you weren’t even sure when will be the next time you’d ever meet him. “you should let minhee know about it and don’t think about me. think of yourself and your feelings. give him a second chance if that’s what you want, but if he hurts you the second time around, i’ll be the first one to stop you from coming back to him.” 

the same smile was mirrored on your countenance as you wiped your tears. “i will.”

one last touch, wonjin told himself, just one more. 

his hand reached for the top of your head, a gentle pat done as he grinned at you before finally withdrawing and stepping back. “thank you for allowing me to love you, y/n. it was a pleasure to love you.” 

without waiting for your reply, he turned his back to you and left the apartment. the cold road waiting for him. something he wished could make him feel better. 

there was one thing you missed— a mistake.

days after that, minhee no longer appeared in your shop or the other shops where you bumped into him the past days. left with no contact with him, you became uncertain of how you will talk to him again. 

but you wanted to. 

taeyoung had left the store earlier than you did, his family demanding him to get home earlier since it was already christmas eve. a lot of people were still wandering around, your store flooded with customers doing their last-minute christmas shopping. it would be a lie to say that you weren’t hoping for minhee to come in.

there was also no message received from wonjin, the evening broadcasts stacking on his schedule. you decided not to message him, thinking that maybe he needed space. 

it was snowing outside, not a heavy one, but enough for the path to be in clear white. kids taking pleasure in the weather by having snowball fights— oh, to be a child again. 

surprisingly the time was quick to pass. and before you knew it, you were already handing the receipt of the last customer who bought roasted chestnut scented candles. flipping the signboard from open to close, you made sure everything in the store was secured. you picked up the chocolate cake taeyoung bought for you and went out of the shop.

as you walked home, you took comfort in watching different people. each shared busy look as they bought food and gifts for their family, a couple walking together with finger interlaced had allowed a beam to come across your brim, the youthful talks you’d hear from the passing kids and teenagers as they guess what gift will they receive the next day brought a warm feeling in your chest. 

somewhat, it made you less lonely.

but it didn’t completely get rid of the thought that you wished you’d be able to see minhee today. a mental note was done, go home and then visit the shops again to check if minhee is there. 

it didn’t take you too long to arrive in the hallway where your apartment was. someone was outside your door, his back leaning in the handrails as he held a staring contest with your door. in his hand was a bouquet of daffodils and tulips— two of your favorite flowers. their meanings still fascinated you up until now.

you no longer have to look for him. he was right in front of you.

“minhee?” 

he turned his head to look at you, a smile peaking on his lips as soon as his eyes landed on you. there were crescents on his eyes. day one of him trying to pursue you once again. “merry christmas, y/n.”

[kasienda]

A Miraculous Reveal - Just an Ordinary (Bad) Day

Marinette choked back a cry as her eyes landed on the black butterfly that fluttered towards her. She slid down to the ground, and pulled her knees to her chest. How had she sunk this low? Yeah, her day had sucked, but it was the suck of an ordinary bad day where everything seemed to go wrong.

But it shouldn’t have been soul ending. Ladybug’s responsibilities hadn’t interrupted Marinette’s life at all. Chloé hadn’t been picking on or undermining her. Lila hadn’t cornered her in the bathroom, and while her history teacher was probably irritated that she had run out of class, she wasn’t facing a potential expulsion.

It was just an ordinary bad day.

Surely, not anything worthy of an akuma. Especially not an akuma for Ladybug.

Marinette should have been able to handle it. She always handled it. She just needed to breathe deeply and calm herself down.

And yet, the akuma fluttered ever closer.

Continue reading on Ao3

“Marinette!” Tikki hissed. “You need to breathe.”

Marinette choked off a sob, scuttled backwards on her butt away from the sparkling butterfly, and did as her kwami advised. She took long and even breaths, trying to soothe herself, but she was losing the battle. Her tears threatened to claw back up her throat anyway.

It had been an absolutely terrible day.

It had started with the nightmares. She hadn’t been able to fall into slumber without tearing awake an hour later with her pajamas sticking to her sweat soaked form, struggling for air. On a bad night, Marinette didn’t always remember the haunting images that plagued her attempts at rest, but she would tear awake with a pounding heart and crying eyes just the same.

But this night, the dreams were far too vivid. In some, she faced the concerned faces of her friends and family, but she didn’t know their names. In another, she lived underground, living off rats after Hawkmoth’s dystopian wish came to fruition in the form of iron-clad authoritarian rule. But the worst nightmare featured Chat Blanc’s soulless blue eyes staring straight through her - never seeing his partner and friend. He hunted her through forests covered in winter white, or he threw her off the tallest building in Paris. And in the last one, he hadn’t tried to hurt her at all.

No, he had tried to turn his cataclysmic power on himself.

He had been so alone. Died alone in a desolate world.

She hadn’t been able to save him.

And after that, she had been unwilling to try again for sleep.

It felt like she hadn’t slept at all. Her head existed in a fog with a dull ache between her temples. Her thoughts and motivation were even more sluggish than usual this morning. She wished that she could just sleep through one whole night just once this week. Was that too much to ask?

When she hadn’t made it out of the bathroom quickly enough, her mother had been kind enough to leave a breakfast tray on her desk. Only, with a towel over her head as she was drying her hair, Marinette hadn’t seen it. She had knocked the whole tray - strewn with eggs, toast, and coffee - over onto the floor when she stumbled past. It wouldn’t have been a big deal except she had a project laid out on the floor. A pattern pinned in place that she hadn’t cut out yet. The coffee alone no doubt ruined the fabric she had spent months saving up to buy.

Marinette fell to her knees in front of the disaster.

Her mother found her there still clad in only her towel, staring stoically over the lost project.

When thin warm arms wrapped around her, Marinette’s started in surprise.

“Oh Marinette, I’m so sorry,” her mother apologized. “I didn’t mean to risk your project. I was trying to save you some time.”

Marinette shook her head against her mother’s chest. “It wasn’t your fault,” the teenager responded tonelessly. “I didn’t see it.”

“I can’t promise anything,” her mother soothed, as her hand rubbed warm circles along her back. “But I will try to save the fabric.”

Marinette nodded, but she couldn’t bring herself to tear her eyes from the disaster. She didn’t know what she was feeling, but whatever it was, it wasn’t good. And it wasn’t really about the fabric. It was about everything.

If Ladybug hadn’t been needed last night, no doubt Marinette would have finished cutting the pieces out, and had the project tucked away safely.

If Marinette wasn’t the Guardian, she would have had more time to earn more money to replace the loss, and she would have more time in general to recreate the now soggy patterns. More time to spend on the things that brought her joy.

As it was, Papillon had her up and running frantic at all times of day and night.

It wasn’t fair.

“Marinette, I will clean this up,” her mother assured her, still rubbing her back. “Do you think you could start getting ready for school again?”

Marinette stumbled to her feet, and began the usual mad dash to collect all her things before heading off to school.

She was only five minutes late by the time she ran out the door, with a ham and cheese quiche in her bag as a second attempt at sustenance. It wasn’t until she had fallen into her usual seat beside her best friend that she realized she had forgotten her essay.

The essay that she had actually completed, proofread, edited, and printed out. The assignment was no doubt still laying in her printer’s document tray on her desk in her room.

She let her head fall to the desk in frustration. Why did it have to be for Mendeliev? Any other teacher would have let her retrieve the paper during lunch and turn it in for full credit. But Mendeliev? While the science teacher was never very sympathetic with anyone, she had lost all patience with Marinette and her scatterbrained tendencies months ago.

Which is why Marinette’s grade was in jeopardy. She could not afford this late penalty. Having to retake the course in summer school was the absolute last thing she needed to add onto her plate.

At the end of class she had asked anyway, but the stern science teacher glared down her nose. “We’ve already had this conversation, Marinette,” she said coldly. “I’ve no interest in repeating it now.”

Her head hung low, Marinette trudged into the hallway barely noticing the bustle of students around her. Until one of them crashed into her and icy cold swept across her front.

“Oh my god! Marinette!” Rose’s shrill voice punctuated her shock. “I’m so sorry!”

“Marinette!” another voice crooned mockingly. “Finally found a fashion statement that suits your personality, I see!”

“Shut up, Chloé!” Alya barked already at her friend’s side, trying to help wring out the dark liquid from Marinette’s original shirt.

Marinette crumpled like paper on the spot. Hot tears sprang to her eyes, her throat closed up, and her chest felt tight.  

Rose squeezed her hand, as tears sprang to her blue eyes. “Marinette,” she sobbed. “I’m really sorry. I wasn’t paying attention. I was just running to meet Juleka. It was an accident. Please forgive me.”

Marinette squeezed Rose’s hand in return. “I-it’s okay, Rose. I-I know it was an accident. Today… today, has just…” and she choked on the words.

“Ladies!” Damocles’ voice barked across the courtyard. “Get to class!”

“But sir!” Alya objected. “Marinette needs to get cleaned up.”

The principal eyed the three girls. “Marinette is fully capable of cleaning herself up in the restroom. You and Rose need to get to class.”

Her friends glared daggers at the principal’s disapproving frown, but eventually shouldered their bags, and turned towards class with sympathetic smiles and slumped shoulders

Suddenly, Marinette stood alone in the courtyard in her sopping wet blouse. She blinked her eyes furiously, beating back the tears that threatened to fall. When she could breathe easily again through the lump in her throat she picked up her bag, and made her way slowly to the bathroom.

But within the privacy of the tiny girl’s bathroom, her emotions caught up with her again, and was soon weeping softly as she tried unsuccessfully to dab the coffee out of her pale pink shirt.

How much was too much, before a girl couldn’t take it anymore?

She fought against the thought, and forced her breathing to slow until she could dam up the flow of tears. She could do this.

She was Ladybug.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket.

Alya: Hey girl. I just received a slip to leave for a dentist appointment. I have to go. Are you going to be okay?

The words blurred for a second, before Marinette stubbornly wiped her eyes, and recentered her breathing all over again. Of course, she would be okay.

She was Ladybug.

She typed back a quick response assuring Alya that she would manage.  

After she finished rinsing her shirt the best she could, and using a hand dryer to get it down to damp rather than soaking, she returned to class.

Marinette ducked under the teacher’s disapproving gaze, and scrambled to her seat.

History proved to be particularly dreary that day. The teacher was just droning on and on. She would have had difficulty enough paying attention on a normal day. As it was, Marinette’s emotional reserves were shot and with Alya gone for her appointment, and Adrien absent for who knew what, there was nothing there to distract her. Soon, she caught herself nodding off.

“Marinette!” Her teacher’s sudden unexpected voice tore her from her unsanctioned nap. “If you stay awake in class, you might actually score higher than a D on the next exam.”

And that was the straw she could not handle. Tears burst from her in uncontrolled torrents. Right in the middle of class. Consoling and judgemental comments alike had poured in around her.

She didn’t wait for the teacher to call the class back to order. Instead, she bolted for the exit.

She had thought she could soothe herself in the privacy of the empty hallway, but instead she had found herself on the ground, backed into a corner on her butt, face to face with an akuma.  

It honestly was almost pretty. Electric violet sparkled across the butterfly’s black fluttering wings.

Some part of her wanted to reach out and touch it.

Because Marinette was sick of crying, tired of being the bigger person, and far too aware that her thin shoulders could not bear the weight of protecting an entire city from a terrorist indefinitely.

She had no fall back position. She was it! A sixteen year old girl. Who thought that was a good idea?

If she was going to lose someday anyway, why not today?

Tikki’s bulbous form flew into her face and took up her entire field of vision.

“Marinette!” Tikki hissed. “You need to breathe,” she added gently.

Marinette nodded, trying to follow those directions.

Because she couldn’t be akumatized. No one would know Ladybug was out of commission. No one could bring out extra allies from the miracle box.

But her throat was tight and her chest felt hollow and she just wanted to curl up on herself and cry.

Chat Noir would have to face her alone.

The butterfly melted into her earrings. She felt them grow hot, but she couldn’t move as the electric violet flooded her vision.

Hello, Lady Liberty.

His voice was cold, but booming. It seemed to scream from inside her own head. Her hands clutched either side of her face.

“Marinette!” Tikki yelled, but Marinette had to strain to hear her.

You bear a heavy load. Let me ease your burden by allowing you to let it all go. You can be free.

Hot tears ran down her cheeks. Marinette wanted to let go. She wanted to be free.

But Tikki was still screaming, and Marinette knew her kwami was the one she ought to be listening to. “Don’t fight your feelings! If you fight them, they double down. Try to accept them. Forgive yourself, Marinette. Have patience and compassion for yourself. Please! Can you do that?”

Marinette nodded, but who was she nodding to? She didn’t know.

I grant you the power to free everyone from the burdens they carry.

Marinette nodded again.

“Think of something that makes you feel safe and loved,” the other voice interrupted urgently. “Something that makes you have hope! Go to that place on your mind, Marinette.”

Her mind instantly flooded with visions of her partner.

Being tangled up with him in the string of her yoyo the first time they met. He hadn’t been upset. He hadn’t doubted her ability. He had been excited and wanted to know her name.

Him diving in front of her to take a hit only to instantly fade from existence. But he had smiled, just for a moment. Like he had died happy knowing he had protected her.

His infuriating smirk every time he managed to pull off a stupid joke at a ridiculous time or one up her in some ridiculous competition.

He gave her advice - patient and heartfelt - even when she was asking for advice about confessing to another boy.

His arms wrapped around her - solid and safe - after her biggest mistake that had cost her a mentor. His faith and trust in her had never waivered.

And suddenly, she was laughing through her tears.

She was in love with Chat Noir.

When had that even happened?

It didn’t matter, but the revelation made one thing crystal clear: She couldn’t be akumatized.

That would leave her partner alone.

And she would never do that to him.

Marinette gasped for air as the butterfly broke away. The akuma couldn’t hold her. Not like this, not with the joy that flooded her form at the realization that she could be happy - that she could make her kitty happy.

The winged creature flapped away, and Marinette sagged to her knees. Her bones felt like jelly, but she was giggling hysterically.

The black butterfly flew away. Only once it was out of sight did it occur to her that she should have transformed and purified it.

But she hadn’t been thinking at all, and now Ladybug was going to have to deal with an akuma.

She supposed that was better than Ladybug being the akuma.

Muffled screams pierced the silence, followed by the sound of a classroom door slamming open.

Marinette didn’t move immediately. She remained huddled up on the floor unmotivated to get to her feet. Students evacuated from their rooms - some more orderly than others. Despite the chaos around her, Marinette remained unaffected by it.

Even an explosion rocking the ground beneath her legs still folded underneath her form, was not enough to bring her out of her funk. Paris could wait for five minutes.

“Well, look at you!” Chat Noir’s booming voice echoed from the courtyard. “Aren’t you a regular class act?”

Marinette was running for a safe spot to transform before she had made the conscious decision. While she was willing to make Paris wait, she couldn’t leave her partner fighting for a second longer than necessary.

Not ever.

No matter how done she wanted to be with this day.

“M’lady!” He greeted happily when she landed beside him.

“What’ve we got?”

“Apparently a pop quiz burst this kid’s bubble!” Her partner reported, his green vertical pupils never leaving their adversary. “Apparently he was angling for an A in Geometry.”

She sighed. How mundane. “His teacher is the target?”

“Monsier Fontaine,” he clarified.

She nodded. “Let’s get this over with, kitty.”

The akuma wasn’t particularly dangerous, which wasn’t surprising since she knew he hadn’t been Hawkmoth’s first choice.

But Ladybug was having trouble keeping her head in the game - she was still raw and shaky from too close a call. She stumbled through an easy dodge more than once. But Chat was always there hauling her to her feet or blocking the attack.

Once he had her upright and centered for the fourth time, she wasted no more time waiting for an opening and immediately called for her lucky charm.

A spotted frying pan fell into her hands. She blinked at the pan, her mind remaining stubbornly blank. She had no clue what to do with this!

“What amazing plan will you cook up next?” Chat grinned at her, his baton spinning in his hands blocking another blow.

She looked into his smiling eyes, and everything instantly fell into place. God, he always was exactly what she needed. Of course she had fallen in love with him.

The battle lasted another twenty-two seconds.

But when Chat Noir offered her a fist for their traditional victory fist bump, she knocked it aside and seized him in a hug instead.

He stiffened for a second, but then his tension fell away and his arms encircled protectively around her. “LB? Are you okay? I didn’t think that battle was that hard. I certainly don’t remember dying that time.”

“Shut up!” she whispered into his chest as she clung to him.

His arms tightened around her. “As you wish, M’lady.” His head leaned against her own and she stood there feeling the comfort of his solid warm frame holding her upright. They just stood there for several seconds. Everything was quiet. Then his chest was vibrating. Was he purring?

She hadn’t known he could do that.

She nuzzled her cheek into his chest, closer to the soothing vibration.

“LB, are you okay?” he asked again.

She shook her head. “I just had a really bad day.”

Her earrings beeped in warning, but she remained within his embrace.

He sighed and melted against her. “Who do I need to beat up?” he mumbled.

She giggled. “I’ll text you my list.”

“I’ll take care of it by end of day tomorrow,” he joked, his voice tickling her inner ear.

She knew he was joking, but she grinned anyway. He was always on her side, no questions asked.

“I need to talk to you somewhere private. Where do you think would be safe from prying eyes?”

He pulled away just an inch and searched her face intently. She had no idea what he saw, and she quickly found her gaze falling into her hands, a heated blush creeping out from under her mask.

“Do you remember that café we went to after patrol last week?”

She nodded.

“There’s a deep balcony in the alleyway about three stories up. The building is closed for renovations, but the balcony is untouched.

“Perfect. Go recharge, and meet me there?” She requested.

“See you in ten, M’lady!”

Ladybug launched herself up out of the school’s courtyard and onto Paris’s rooftops. Her earrings beeped again. She ducked behind a chimney, and let the transformation fall. Tikki fell into her hands.

Tikki didn’t take her offered cookie. Instead, the kwami flew up to Marinette’s face and nuzzled her head into Marinette’s cheek. “Are you okay, Marinette?”

Marinette leaned into the affectionate gesture. “I’m exhausted, Tikki. I feel raw and numb. But not as upset. Thank you, by the way. I would not have survived that without you.”

“I’m always happy to support you. I am sad that it was necessary today.”

Marinette stroked the top of her kwami’s head. “I’m going to tell him who I am.”

To her relief, Tikki didn’t object. Instead, the kwami nodded. “I understand. But if you’re emotionally done for today, just know you don’t have to talk to Chat Noir right this second. It can wait until tomorrow or next patrol.”

Marinette shook her head. “Today proved that not telling him is a potentially huge risk. I am not going to sleep again until I fix it. And plus, he deserves to know. He’s wanted to know for so long.” She trailed off for a moment as her feelings caught up with her all over again. “He’s going to be so happy,” she whispered, a tear slipped down her cheek even as she giggled.

“You love him?” Tikki asked with a soft smile.

“I don’t even know when it happened!” Marinette exclaimed. “And that stupid cat is never going to let me live it down,” she grumbled.

Tikki did a happy little dance in the air. “I’m happy for you, Marinette. You deserve to be happy.”

“Thank you, Tikki. Now, let’s go.”

Tikki inhaled the cookie in two gulps. Marientte called for her transformation and launched herself into the skyline once again, her heart light even if butterflies fluttered in her stomach with nervous energy.

She arrived at their meeting place. He was already there sitting in a lotus position frowning into space. His expression brightened when he caught sight of her.

“Are you okay?” he asked for the third time, his eyes shining with concern.

And she found herself lost in his gaze - sincere and yet, incredibly open. How had she ever turned this boy down?

“I…” she trailed off, unable to find words. She just needed to say it. Why was she hesitating? This was going to make everything easier and he would be thrilled, wouldn’t he? He had always wanted to know.

But he hadn’t asked in a long time. Maybe he had moved on. Like she had asked him to.

She shook her head at herself. It didn’t matter. She had been akumatized. This wasn’t about what either of them felt. Not telling him was putting millions in danger every single day.

She found herself smiling.

“M’lady?”

She dropped down next to him, deep into the private balcony with walls on three sides. The balcony wasn’t designed to have a view. She suspected its function was just to allow the inhabitants to be outside.

“Tikki, spots off,” she whispered.

“Woah! What are you doing?” he demanded, turning his head away.

That wouldn’t do. She took his face gently between her hands. He didn’t resist as her skin tight suit peeled away in a ripple of pink light.

He just stared at her, his eyes wide in shock. “M-Marinette? But… I saw you… and L-ladybug.”

“Fox miraculous,” she explained.

“Ah,” was all he managed to say, his beautiful green eyes wide with shock.

“I-is this okay?” she asked.

He blinked at her dumbly. “Uh, y-yes, of course it is, m’lady! More than okay! Just completely unexpected.”

“You don’t have to reciprocate,” she told him.

He blanched. “Are you kidding me?! Plagg, cla-”

She pinched his lips closed with her bare hands. “No! Wait! Let’s talk first. You can reveal yourself after if you still want to.”

“But I…” he objected, his body tense and unmoving.

She covered his mouth again. “Please?”

He sagged against her hold. She didn’t remove her hand until he nodded. “Whatever you need, M’lady Princess.”

Every muscle in her body loosened at the new combined affectionate nickname. Princess. She was his princess. And his lady.

“Tikki?” Marinette called.

The kwami nodded.

“Spots on.” And she let her magical energies wrap her once again in its protective warmth.

Chat’s eyes were as wide as canyons as he watched her display. “Wow! That was… amazing. Your transformation is like a dance. You’re so graceful. I mean… I knew that, but this is just like the epitome of...”

She covered her face with her gloved hands, trying to cover the heat she felt growing from the bottom of her mask. “Please, stop,” she begged. How was she ever going to tell this boy what she needed to when he kept sending her thoughts and feelings scrambling in a million different directions with gushing praise?

He grinned. “I can’t help it,” he objected. “You’re so amazing. I mean... I already knew that, but now…” he trailed off and really looked at her. “I’ve suspected you more than once. I just…  But after kwami buster, I assumed it was just wishful thinking.”

Her jaw dropped. “You wanted me to be her?”

He barked a laugh. “You have no idea.”

Her blush bloomed from her cheeks to the very tips of her ears. But she didn’t know what to say, and the silence stretched between them.

“So… uh…” his hand rubbed the back of his neck. “What changed your mind?”

She wrapped her arms around her stomach in an attempt to soothe herself - to assure herself that she hadn’t truly become an akuma. She hadn’t betrayed her duty or her partner in that low moment. “I just... I need you to know.” It was all she managed to say before her throat seemed to snap closed, choking off everything else she needed to say.

“It must’ve been some bad day to convince you to go against the prime directive of superheroing,” he offered, his voice gentle and soft.

And she laughed, but within seconds her mirth transformed into tears and she was finally crying, the sobs tearing through her.

His arms instantly wrapped around her. And she fell into his embrace and just let herself cry.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. I’m right here,” he soothed, his hands rubbing comforting circles on her back.

And she cried herself out. It was a good cry. A release of not just the day, but also of all the tension and stress she had carried for weeks, or maybe years, with no place to unburden herself.

Until today.

“What happened?” he asked when her cries had finally faded.

The question was thrilling. Amazing even because it occurred to her that for the first time since taking up the mantle of Ladybug, for the first time in years, she didn’t have to filter anything.

“It’s stupid really. Just a bunch of little things that all added up.” And she told him all of it. About the nightmares, and she’d tell him about the reality of Chat Blanc soon. But for now, she stayed focused on the day. She spoke of her ruined fabric, her feelings that mishap had triggered about being Ladybug and the Guardian, about her blouse getting ruined, about her friends not being there in class, and her stupid stupid teachers wo just didn’t understand that homework could never be her top priority. “And I could have handled all of it, I swear! It’s just so hard on top of all of this. The akuma was the last straw.”

“Akumas do have the worst timing,” he commented.

She sighed. He didn’t realize that she didn’t mean the monster they just fought, but the raw little black butterfly.

“It was meant for me,” she admitted softly. “It actually succeeded in melding with my earrings.”

He turned rigid underneath her, suddenly as frozen as an ice sculpture.

Her grip around him tightened. “And you know what I was most angry about, Chaton?” she continued, determined to get all of it out. “I wasn’t angry at Papillion. Not really. I was just upset that I couldn’t let myself be akumatized. I’m the only person in Paris who isn’t allowed to just say “fuck it” and let the butterfly take me. The only person who isn’t allowed to have a bad day. I want to be able to have a bad day!”

“I want to be able to let myself be akumatized, and just be able to trust that Ladybug and Chat Noir will take care of it. Why don’t I get that?”

She pulled back just enough to see his face, and she was horrified to see the tear tracks down his cheeks.

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry!”

His eyes landed on hers. “Whatever for?” he demanded.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry,” she admitted, brushing his tears away with her thumb. “I’m sorry that I’m so pathetic. That I wasn’t strong enough.”

He pulled back, and turned her so they were looking right at one another eye to eye. He had a hand on either one of her shoulders. She felt like he was staring directly into her soul, but she couldn’t look away. She had never once seen him so serious.

“Buginette, I need you to hear me right now,” he paused as if expecting her to object. When she didn’t, he continued. “You are the strongest person I know. From what you said, I gather that you were able to throw off an akuma after it had gotten you.”

She nodded confirmation.

“I’ve never known anyone to do that. I didn’t know it was possible. Maybe someone has done it before. I guess I wouldn’t have a way of knowing, but… I guess what I’m saying is that you’re not pathetic. Not even close. You’re so strong, and incredibly resilient. And I don’t know how you’ve done everything you do as Ladybug and as Marinette for so long.”

His eyes bored into hers, never once did he look away.

“And you’re allowed to be human, Buginette. And this feels weird to say, but I want you to be able to have a bad day, too.”

She laughed. And he smiled in response, touching his forehead to hers. His compelling green eyes filled up her whole vision.

“I’m sorry that you’ve felt so alone in holding the mantle of Ladybug. I’m sorry that I haven’t been here in the way that you needed.”

She shook her head. “That’s not true! You’ve always been here. You’ve always given me what I needed even when I didn’t realize. And me feeling alone was more my fault than yours,” she insisted. “I’m the one that insisted on keeping our identities secret. I thought it was too dangerous to share our identities.”

She pressed her lips together in thought.

“But when I was facing that akuma, I realized that not sharing is dangerous, too. That I’ve been keeping all my secrets in one basket. And while that makes them harder to lose, it also makes me more vulnerable. If I hadn't been able to fight off that akuma, you wouldn’t have had any back up and you wouldn’t have known that Ladybug wasn’t coming.”

“You’d likely be an absolutely terrible akuma,” he commented. “I mean, you kick ass without anything boosting your skills. I’m going to have nightmares about akumanette now.” His tone was light.

She stuck her tongue out at his teasing. He smirked.

She allowed the moment of silliness before growing solemn and serious once again. “Master Fu kept all his secrets in one basket and kept himself hidden for over a century. He told one person - me. And less than two years went by, and all it took was one stupid thoughtless mistake on my part and it all came toppling down!”

Chat squeezed her shoulder. “It wasn’t your fault. It’s also easier for him to stay hidden and keep secrets when there aren’t akumas out terrorizing the street every other day!”

“And I don’t even know how to do this as well as him,” she continued to rant as if he hadn’t spoken. “And I am falling apart, Chaton.” she broke into soft sobs again.

“Hey, it’s okay,” he soothed. “I’m right here. And now that I know who you are, I’m going to be so present and so supportive you’re going to wish that you had never revealed your identity!”

She traced the curve of his jawline with two fingers. “In this moment, I really don’t think I’m going to regret any of this.”

“Thank you,” he whispered.

Her eyebrows furrowed. “For?”

“For trusting me. I promise I will do everything in my power to protect you, your secret, and by extension, your loved ones.”

She nuzzled further into him, her head resting on his collar bone. She didn’t want to be caught crying again.

“I don’t know if I’m worth your devotion, Chaton,” she whispered.

His arms tightened around her waist. “Shhh! Don’t say that. It’s not true.”

The tears flowed before she could stop them. “I-I don’t know how… to be the Guardian,” she confessed.

He only smiled. “You didn’t know how to be Ladybug at first either. You rose to that challenge beautifully.”

Her lips twisted into a displeased frown. “Only because I had such an amazing partner,” she said emphatically.

“I only have ever followed your example,” he told her. “You taught me to be a hero.”

She laughed. This boy. He never stopped. “God, I love you.”

Chat Noir looked like she had clubbed him with a two by four. His eyes were overblown, and his mouth open in a little ‘o’ of surprise.

She bit her lip, trying to assess his reaction because for once in his life he was being infuriatingly silent. “I meant it. It wasn’t just a slip. I actually love you.”

He blinked at her, unmoving.

“P-please say something,” she begged.

“I… uh…”

She wilted at his hesitation. “I thought you’d be happy…”

He pulled her against his form, tucking her head under his chin. “Trust me, Bugaboo, I am over the moon! I’m not sure that this day could get any better honestly. I’m just also in shock and more than a bit confused.”

She relaxed into his embrace, melting at how natural it felt to be held in his arms.

“Since when do you love me?” he asked, his voice barely louder than a gentle breeze.

“I think it’s been a while now, but I realized it just today,” she confided into his chest.

“How?”

“When we saw the akuma, Tikki told me to go to my happy place and I thought of you,” she sat up and looked up at him then. “You’re the only place anymore I feel safe and completely understood. And I don’t know why I didn’t see it sooner.”

“What about your friends?” he whispered, his eyes swirling with an emotion she could not label.

“They’re great. But they can’t understand... and it’s not like I can explain it to them.”

“What about the boy you love?”

“I had to let him go.”

“Why?”

She leaned up against him once again, her gaze falling to their feet. “I couldn’t share all myself with him. And he doesn’t need all my baggage. Plus, I think I already missed my chance. He’s in love with someone else.”

She could hear his frown. “How do you know?”

“He told me.”

“He told you he was in love with someone else,” he repeated, the disbelief clear in his voice.

“You don’t believe me?”

“I find it hard to believe that he could love anyone else when he knows you.”

She rolled her eyes. “He told me that the girl he loved didn’t like his jokes, and since I was sitting right next to him in his fancy limo car when he said it, I knew he wasn’t talking about me.”

He went rigid underneath her. She jerked up, and searched his face. “What’s wrong?”

“N-nothing!” he said, turning his gaze away.

“Then why won’t you look at me?”

He gaze swung back to her, his cheeks burning in the most beautiful pink. “I just find it impossible that he wasn’t talking about you.”

She gave him a flat look. “He definitely wasn’t talking about me.”

Chat’s gloved hands cupped both sides of her face. “He was actually.”

She was lost in his intense gaze.

“He just didn’t know it was you,” he whispered.

She stared at him for several seconds, but she shook herself and pulled away. “How would you know? You weren’t there!” she objected.

His claws scratched at the back of his neck. Her eyes zeroed in on the action. It was familiar.

“I know you don’t believe me, but It’s true. He was talking about you,” he insisted, looking right over at her. “You never have liked my jokes.”

“That’s not true! It’s not the jokes that suck!” she objected. “Though they are a bit lame,” she tacked on softly. “But it’s the timing! Your timing sucks!”

And then her expression faded. Her eyebrows scrunched towards each other under the pressure of the mask. “Wait, a second. I have never liked your jokes?”

“Well, you definitely didn’t like it when I pretended to be a wax model.”

She felt her face go slack, her eyes overblown and gaping. “A-Adrien?” she whispered.

“Hi?” He gave her a self conscious little smile.

“H-hi,” she managed back, her voice too high.

His whole face lit up in understanding. “Oh my god! You always stuttered around me because you liked me?”

Her cheeks burned hot.

“I was convinced forever that you didn’t like me at all, or that I was intimidating somehow for being a fashion icon,” he rambled.

“You were intimidating,” she broke in. “You were so kind and genuine. And just… incredibly patient. I liked you so much. I was terrified of messing things up. Which I did constantly, because I am such a spaz.”

His whole form softened, and he offered her the smallest most sincere smile and she gasped. Seriously, how had she never recognized him before this.

His hand slowly moved towards hers and he wove their fingers together, before touching his forehead to hers ever so gently. “Nothing has ever been messed up. You have always amazed me on both sides of the mask. I fell in love with Ladybug when she stood up to Hawkmoth on our first day on the job. I love the way her brain works and how her creative genius can find victory when she has almost nothing to work with.”

“And I’ve always admired Marinette for the way she goes out of the way to make everyone feel welcome - even stray cats that land on her balcony, the way she expects others to do the right thing, and the way she stands up when someone else doesn’t live up to those ideals. I love when her eyes get so big when she’s nervous and I positively love the moments when she trips over her own feet.”

She smacked him playfully, heat blazing from her neck to her ears. “Shut up! You do not!”

He laughed. “I do though! It gives me an excuse to touch her.”

She went still, her brows furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“Every time you trip, I get to catch you or offer you a hand to get back up. I love those moments, Marinette. I’ve always cherished them.”

“Really?” She asked, her voice small, her eyes filling with emotion she could not define.

“Really,” he assured.

She moved before she thought about it. She literally threw herself at him, and he barely caught her; he was so startled. But he did catch her. Because he always caught her. And that made it really easy to kiss him.

Her lips pressed against his. And she took satisfaction from the fact that he took him a second to react, that she had managed to catch him off guard.

But then he did respond and she didn’t have the space for thought.

His hands cupped the base of her skull, cradling her whole head. His claws gently kneaded into her hair, sending tingles shooting down her neck and all the way down her spine. And his lips - they were so soft. As soft as a baby’s newborn skin. He gently sucked in on her lower lip causing her to gasp. They were sharing the same breath. His tongue tentatively brushed past her lips and she met it with her own.

Unfortunately, she eventually needed to breathe again.

“I love you,” she gasped against his mouth as she pulled away.

He smirked. “I told you that you’d fall for me eventually.”

She shoved him playfully away when he cackled happily. But she was laughing too.

“What am I going to do with you?” she demanded.

He pulled her against him again, and kissed her chastely. “Love me forever, I hope.” And then his expression grew serious. “Because I love you, Mari. I have since the day I met you.”

She grinned and traced the side of his face with a knuckle. “Forever doesn’t sound so bad,” she admitted before kissing him again.

And it really didn’t.

Even if he never let her hear the end of the fact that she had finally fallen for him despite her denials. Even if she had to put up with puns at the worst possible times. Even if he insisted on taking blow after blow for her.

If she was being honest, she didn’t want to hear the end of it. She wanted him to tease her for forever and a day. She wanted to hear his stupid jokes. And she wanted to fight with him at her side.

Because that was who he was. And she loved him.

[comeoncomeout41]

I just watched the Elf episode of The Holiday Movies That Made Us on Netflix after remembering that I started writing an Elf supercorp AU for Christmas in 2018 (don’t judge me) and found my old notes app first draft so Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah! MAYBE I’ll finish it this year... (she said as a lying liar who lies.)

*The fic in which Kara’s pod crash landed at the North Pole, 13 years later her adopted elf mother Eliza and her elf sister Alex tell her about her cousin Kal now Clark Kent and she decides to go to Metropolis to meet the only other person like her. She meets Lena “naughty list” Luthor. And Clark and Lois are Jewish.

🔥🎄🎄🎄🧝‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Some elves are born to work in Santa’s workshop. Kara Zor-El, however, was not born an elf or even from this earth for that matter.

When her pod crash landed at the North Pole thirteen years ago, she had no memory of a lost planet, no recollection of a cousin she was sent to protect who had already grown up to become Superman, and no idea how to be an alien living with elves. Santa was perturbed as to what to do with a skittish teenaged alien who cringed at the sound of tiny hammers building toys.

The elf doctor, Eliza Danvers, having a daughter around Kara’s age, naturally stepped in to help raise her, teach her elf culture, and attempt to control her powers. There were several mishaps of course.

Kara’s eyes lit up the first time she saw a Christmas tree. Literally. The green pine was burned to a crisp with her heat vision. But she quickly uprooted another tree from outside the elf village and helped Alex redecorate the new tree. And spent several hours carefully placing the new lights and ornaments, after breaking several of the glowing strings of light and the ornate red and blue colored bulbs. When Alex had trouble reaching the top of the tree, Kara swooped her up under her arms to help her place the star on the tree. And she managed to only break one of Alex’s ribs in the process.

After years of being at the North Pole, Kara was actually a wonderful toy maker once she learned to control her strength. When other elves managed to meet their five hundred toy quotas, Kara would have five thousand toys completed. The workshop wouldn’t need any teddy bears for another century, but finding storage for all of the toys Kara built was becoming difficult.

So from there, Kara’s primary job became Elf Master of Letters. She spends several hours each day answering letters for Santa as Santa’s tight schedule and the millions of letters he received each year became too much for the old bearded man. And although she always needed a little proofreading as the different Earth languages were sometimes difficult and much different than her native alien tongue, she enjoyed writing and speaking to children all over the world, bringing them the joy of Christmas.

Alex read over the letter Kara had just finished typing. Her younger but much bigger sister looked to her with a twinkle in her eyes and waited patiently. When Kara saw the red ink marked all over Kara’s letter she cooed and gasped, “That red is so pretty Alex. I know Raymond in Denver will love it! He told me red was his favorite color. I wanted to tell him that’s Santa’s favorite color too! But I didn’t want to give all of the big man’s secrets away, you know?”

Alex sighed and rested her hand on her sister’s shoulder, “Kara, these are your typos. Look here.”

Alex pointed to the last line, “Beleiving isn’t singing. Singing is beleiving.”

“He asked if he could see what the North Pole looks like. I set him straight. Believing isn’t singing. Singing is believing. That was in that one Santa Claus movie you had me watch, which I know isn’t historically accurate or based on true events, but I still,”

“Kara, remember your English spellings. I before e except after c? And it’s seeing not singing.

“Except in some cases like neighbor and weigh. And I just thought! It’s a play on words because ‘the best way to spread Christmas cheer, is singing loud for all to hear!’”

Alex smiled at her then, “You’ll get the hang of it.“

“Yeah, okay so I can’t spell that great, but the writing was good right?” Kara looked hopeful.

Alex shoved her shoulder, “You know you have more Christmas spirit than any other elf. Now come on and fix these typos, so we can go drink hot chocolate with Mom.”

That night when Kara had gone to bed, belly full of twelve drumsticks, eleven pickled peppers, ten cups of hot chocolate, nine hams glazed, eight glasses of milk, seven strudel pastries, six white chocolate goose eggs, five onion rings, four carrot cakes, three French bagels, two turtle chocolates, and a chocolate pecan pie, she curled up on her elf sized bed. Eliza had knit a fourth blanket onto her elf quilt the previous month when her toes started peeking out at the bottom. Alex had tucked her in tonight, making certain she was snug as a bug in a rug in the tiny bed, wishing sweet dreams of sugarplums dancing in her head.

She was content, happy, home and tomorrow would be her thirteenth birthday at the North Pole. What more could her life possibly be, what could be more rewarding than being apart of the magic that brought Christmas to children all over the world? And still Kara thought of that world and all of the little lights that wrote those letters to Santa, the gleaming eyes of all who opened presents on Christmas morning, and she wondered if any of them were like her. If they could hear the faintest sounds of snow falling or reach up and touch the clouds. If they could roast chestnuts with their eyes or see through all those pretty presents wrapped neatly under the tree. If the people of this world could believe that Santa would come every year to bring them gifts, then she had to believe that somewhere out there, there was someone else who was just like her.

That night Kara dreamed of a beautiful red sunset and little baby boy named Kal. It all felt so real, seeing him jet across the sky in a similar pod to the one Kara had found in an abandoned workshop years ago, knowing it must have been how she found her home. She wrote a letter to Santa as soon as she woke up, asking him to find a home for Kal for Christmas.

_____

Kara had been in trouble a bit, always an accident, because really how was it her fault if Blitzen couldn’t keep up with her? He could have flown faster if he hadn’t eaten all of that maple syrup and maybe then he wouldn’t have been left behind! She carried him back the whole way anyway! After she found him three days later in the Swiss Alps.

But this time when she was called to Santa’s office and Eliza and Alex sat patiently waiting for the charges from the big boss, Kara didn’t know why she was here at all, or rather, now she was on the floor with wood debris around her rear because the little chair was a lot lower than she had anticipated. That was the tenth one this month.

Santa cleared his throat and rubbed his white bearded chin, “I read your letter, and I spoke to your mom and sister. I think they have something they’d like to tell you.”

Kara widened her eyes and looked to her mom, “Are we going to adopt Kal? Like you adopted me? Please say we can Eliza. I promise I’ll teach him myself how to control his powers, and I can build him a crib myself. I’ll even chop down the tree for the wood and we can,”

Eliza cupped Kara’s face and kissed her forehead, a tear prickling at the corner of her eye, “Do you remember Kal now sweetie? Do you remember Krypton?”

Kara blew out her breath in bewilderment, “Krypton? What’s that? Is that where I’m from? Is it in Canada? I’ve always felt I was probably a Canadian because I don’t get cold at the North Pole, and I make the best maple syrup every year during the elf Christmas party.”

Santa nodded, “Its true, you really do.”

Alex gasped, “you know you’re not an elf?”

Kara chewed at her fingernails, “Well I’m not, am I? I’m bigger than all of you and I can lift a Christmas tree over my head like it’s mistletoe and fly with reindeer and all sorts of stuff. I’ve known for awhile I’m not from here, but this is still my home. You two are still my family.”

Alex held back all her unshed tears, “But you have other family out there, and we can’t keep you from knowing about Kal anymore.”

So that day Kara cried when Santa showed her the picture of Kal, or Clark Kent as he was called on Earth, glasses askew and a beautiful woman on his arm. Clark without the glasses bearing what she was told was her family crest, the House of El, taking up the mantle of Earth’s greatest hero, Superman. She had crafted thousands of figurines of her only living blood relative, and yet she hadn’t the faintest idea that she had been sent to protect him for all of these years. He had grown up, not alone at least. He was raised in Kansas on a farm, and now he lived in Metropolis with his wife Lois Lane and their son Jonathan Kent.

“Does he even know I exist?”

_____

Kara changed into her best elf attire and her bright red boots that Eliza had made her for Christmas, letting her open one present before she left. Today was the day that she would fly to Metropolis and meet her cousin for the first time. She couldn’t wait, but the dread at leaving Alex and Eliza settled deep in the pit of her stomach. And all of the letters to Santa she still wanted to respond to sat neatly at her desk in her room.

She was leaving behind her entire life at the North Pole. She told herself she wasn’t losing her home, but it still felt like it. Santa’s workshop, Eliza and Alex, it was all she had ever known or could remember. Would it be the same when she came back? Would her room still smell like a gingerbread house and would her stocking still hang by their chimney with care? Would Kal come with her or would she split her time between Kal and Alex and Eliza like some children who get double presents when their parents divorce?

Alex knocked on her door and waltzed in, “Hey Kara, mom made you something to take to Kal. There’s a winter storm over Greenland, you should probably get going soon.”

Kara wiped the tears from her eyes and her sister rushed to hug her. She had to bend down a little and lift Alex off the ground, but no way was she leaving without giving her sister a proper hug.

“I’m going to miss you and mom so much, Alex. I’ve never been away from home for more than a few hours, how am I going to make it to Christmas without you both? Will you even still want me back?”

Alex nuzzled closer, “You better come back because I don’t want to imagine this place without you. Who’s going to lift the fridge so mom can sweep under it hmm? Who’s going to change all of the light bulbs in the workshop when they blow out? Who’s going to drink hot chocolate with me and watch Hallmark movies in July?”

Kara laughed, shaking her head and deposited Alex on the floor, “I thought you hated the Hallmark channel.”

Alex simply rolled her eyes, “But I love spending time with my sister, and I love you, you big sap. I swore I wasn’t going to cry.”

Feeling slightly better Kara shoves her sister’s shoulder, a little too hard and catches her before she falls, “I love you too, dork. Don’t open the present I got you until you get back, pinky swear?”

Alex locks pinkies with Kara and kisses her thumb, “I’ll miss you. Please be safe. No breaking the sound barrier, watch out for pigeons because there’s a lot in Metropolis or so I’ve read. And when you see Kal remember to call him Clark Kent.”

“Got it, and don’t eat anything I don’t buy myself or anything not given to me by Clark, Lois, or Jonathan because there’s a high chance it’s not candy.”

Kara hugged Eliza for thirty minutes after that, and then Alex for another ten minutes before waving goodbye to Santa and all of the elves at his workshop. Metropolis wasn’t so far for her to fly, and she’d be home in no time.

She coasted through the peppermint sparkled glaciers, touched the northern lights, sailed through the skies above the Arctic Ocean, grazed the top of the Daily Planet, and landed atop the small two bedroom apartment building on the rent controlled side of town. Inside the windows of the corner apartment on the top floor, Kara saw Kal with his family, lighting candles, looking happy and calm. She decided to wait until morning to meet Kal, Clark, alone.

She listened into the city around her, all of the heartbeats like a million tiny hammers beating together, all except one. Kara flew the city, pinpointing the sound, admiring all of the lights on all the trees in all of the buildings and all the shining multicolored bulbs lining the streets. And it was there, in the tallest tower of the tallest building, one light shone through the wall to wall window, a small desk lamp in the large office. At the desk a woman with jet black hair and skin as white and fair as snow sat, typing away at her computer, nibbling on the pen in her mouth. She strained her long elegant neck, and stretched her arms above her head before getting back to work.

Kara glanced below the balcony to the street corner, finding what she knew the young woman needed. She floated down to the alley and walked into a coffee shop, took some time figuring out how to pay for a cup of coffee with the paper and coin money that Santa had given her before she left. Smiled and thanked the cashier for helping her, put one of the bills in his tip jar (it was a hundred.) She quickly flew into the woman’s office, left the coffee on her desk, and flew out of sight, feeling a little like Santa herself in the moment.

The woman grabbed the coffee absentmindedly and sipped, not expecting it to be so hot Kara sees her fanning her mouth and frantically searching the room with her eyes. When she turns to peer out her balcony, Kara sees her face, hard jaw line, soft endearing green eyes. She smiles as the woman screams and locks her balcony door as the windows go pitch black.