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depressedgothgrl · 3 years

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sneaking around

warnings: smut(ish), some mentions of oral (f receiving)

summary: you meet with nate on a friday night

┍━━━━━━━☟━━━━━━━┑

you couldn’t explain it, but you really liked nate. maybe it’s only because he took your virginity, but ever since you guys figured out a way to get out the bathroom, you couldn’t stop thinking about him. it’s like he is living in your mind rent free. you even went up to him at the party, acting like it’s the first time you guys saw each other. surprisingly, nate played along, mainly because he liked the fact you had more interest in him. after he was beat up by your good friend, fezco, you we’re on the verge of crying. panicking over the bloody body, you try to see if nate’s still breathing.

nate wouldn’t admit it out loud, but he really liked you too. maybe it was the innocence that trapped him, but he was trapped and he couldn’t get you out his head. nate wanted to be with you, but there was just one little problem… maddy. even though he likes you, he knows maddy and he knows he’d always love her. but now he is confused in which girl he actually wants. when it came to you, he liked how you were sensitive and emotional, and he liked how you never cared about peoples opinions too much. he believes if he was dating you sophomore year instead of maddy, he would’ve never grew up to do the things he did. but when it came to maddy, they have too much history to “let go”. he was so confused and lost, and he was stuck going back & forth with himself to think about who he wants.

you, maddy, some random guy, and mckay carried him to maddy’s car and drove him to a hospital. you sat in the back with nate while maddy drove. you held nate’s hand and tried to fix your breathing, you couldn’t try to calm someone down when you’re freaking out too. you couldn’t tell if he was conscious or not, but you told yourself that he was so you could think positively. once you guys got to the hospital, you & maddy never left nate’s side. maddy was understandable, but you? this confused maddy a lot. you never mentioned him whenever you guys were near each other. you and maddy weren’t friends if we were being honest, but you were friends with kat and cassie, so you were always around maddy. she grew suspicious of you and nate, but was mainly worried about him being safe.

it had been a few days since you took nate to the hospital, and you couldn’t stop worrying about him. you wanted to go to the hospital, and see if he was released yet, but you didn’t want people to assume the worst. all you could do is just wait for him to be released and see him, and you hated every second of waiting. at one moment, you were in your room waiting for the phone to ring. and you were wishing it would be maddy with some news. your leg bounced up and down, and bit your nails in anxiety. once five minutes pasted, you couldn’t take it anymore. picking up the phone, you ring up maddy. “hello?” maddy answers. “hey maddy, i just was curious.. was nate ever released? i have been worried about him since the party, and i don’t have his number or anything. but i know you guys probably talk still?” you ask out to the girl on the phone. it was silent for a couple of seconds before you get a text from her. then she speaks up, “that’s nate’s number, but yeah. he was released yesterday. he left me the sweetest text.” you smile to yourself, pretending it happened to you and not her. “that’s so cute, but thanks for his number, im gonna text him and tell him to get well soon.” you say, rushing and dying to get off the phone with maddy. “okay, bye [y/n].” she said before hanging up.

you looked at maddy’s message for several minutes before just tapping the number. it began to ring, as your heart started pounding. you put the phone to your ear again with a shaky hand. “hello? who is this?” nate questions. you begin to really panic. “hey uhm, nate? it’s [y/n], i wanted to check in on you and ask if you feel any better?” you barely speak out. your anxiety taking control by each second of silence. “hey [y/n], i’m feeling as better as i can. how’d you get my number?” he responds. “maddy gave it to me. but that’s good! i was really worried.” you answer quietly, scared he’d tell you to leave him alone. “oh, okay.” was all nate said back. there was a comfortable silence after that. you guys both sat on the phone like that for another minute before he speaks up. “so, how are you?” nate questions. you smile to yourself before responding, “i’ve been good. i’m probably holding you up from… something-” “you’re not holding me up from anything, if anything you’re keeping busy.” he quickly states, cutting you off. you started to miss him. a lot. “okay this is random.. but.. do you think i can see you? anytime soon?” you ask nate. you could hear the fear of the question in your voice. “next week, i’ll come see you next week.” he responds with. the both of you said your goodbyes and you waited for the next week.

▬

the week was a blur, you continued to wait for the day nate asks for your address and comes to see you. he was all you thought about every time you woke up and went to sleep. nate nate nate nate nate. that’s all thats swimming in your brain. you tried to avoid maddy as much as possible, because you are a horrible liar. but when you couldn’t avoid her, you tried to avoid topics of nate and dating. the days of the week went on until friday, you get a text from nate. he asked where to get you, and you texted him back with your address. and since then you couldn’t wait to go home and get ready.

it was around three when you got home, and you got into the shower immediately. you washed your hair & body, and touched up on shaving. you wanted nate to love everything about you. little did you know, he already did. you spent a little time on your makeup, making sure its not too much nor too little. god time goes so slowly when you are waiting for something. you waited for a couple of hours before finally grabbing something to wear. a skirt and simple tee with some sneakers. you never really tried to look super feminine for a simple meet up before, but with nate it was so different. your phone rings, and you go to see who is calling, and as always, its maddy. you sigh in disappointment before answering the phone. “hey maddy, whats up?” you ask, finishing up your look before flopping backwards on your bed. “hey, do you want to go bowling? kat asked if i wanted to go but i thought i should ask if you’d wanna come with me.”

you felt guilty. this is the girl who used to be inlove with nate. and you were about to see him. you didn’t want to let her down. “yeah, i’ll be there as soon as my mother gets home, stay out late so i can meet you guys there!” you respond. trying not to let your guilt show through your voice. “okay i’ll text you which bowling place. bye [y/n]!” “okay, seeya maddy!” you hang up quickly and turn your phone off. you felt horrible. you were going to see her ex, then hang out with her like nothing happened. your phone dings, and you think it’s maddy, but its nate this time. your guilt soon fades, as a smile rises. he was here. you rand downstairs and into his car. as you were getting in his car, you didn’t know it, but rue saw you. but you were to focused on him to actually care about anything else. “hey [y/n].” nate quickly says before pulling you to him for a kiss. you loved how he made you feel. you felt so special, like you mattered. “hi nate, where we going?” you ask, looking into his eyes with a visible blush on your cheeks. he notices this, but ignores it and says, “just enjoy the ride.” before putting the car in drive.

▬

you guys were driving for some time before finally coming to a stop. you guys didn’t talk the entire ride. well nate didn’t talk, and you were just afraid to speak because of the serious look on his face. if you were being honest you thought he was going to drive you guys off a cliff at one point. “first i wanna start by saying, i really like you [y/n].” you smile slightly, feeling this huge wave of excitement wash over you. “but maddy, she will kill you and me if she finds out about us.” he continues. “i’m sorry but we can’t see each other anymore.” your heart slowly sinks, but you didn’t want him to see that. so you got out the car and walked only a couple steps away from it. you don’t even know where you are, so you’re not gonna run away or anything. you look at your phone and its an unknown number. it says to track the phone, and then a location is sent. you, being curious, you follow it. and soon after a couple of minutes, you walk up a set if stairs, and went to a corner. the phone was right there. as you picked it up from the floor, nate comes up the stairs. you turn to him, shaking the phone in your hand. “you’ll go the extra mile to sneak around with me?” you jokingly state, handing him the phone back. “i’d do anything for you.” was all he said before leaning in, kissing you softly and passionately.

you melted in his kiss like ice cream on a hot summer day. nate noticed this and deepened the kiss, pushing you onto the wall. he pulls away, and admires you. he loves the sight of your neediness and desperation. he takes the phone, and puts it in his pocket. nate starts to slowly make his way down to your thighs, kissing all the way up to your core. he looks up at you and into your eyes, “how will you ever look maddy in the eyes again?” he mumbles before going straight to your throbbing bud, kissing it before going down on you completely. you felt guilty, but you didn’t at the same time. you loved sneaking around, and you loved doing it with nate, no matter the consequence.

▬

you and nate had had sex at a construction site. and you felt gross. dirty. you felt slutty. you even said it to nate, that’s how much the guilt was eating you alive. he reassured you that there was nothing to worry about and that you weren’t slutty. he wanted you to feel like you were still pure and clean from the filth of the real world. “wanna come to my place?” nate asked you as the both of you got back to the car. you shook your head and responded, “no thanks, drop me off to this bowling alley, ill text the location for you.” he just nods and once you sent the text, he started the car up. nate grabbed your face to look at him, and he kissed you one last time before driving.

once you got to the bowling alley he parked, and looked at you. he stared for a good 7 seconds before saying goodbye. you smile at him and leave, waving goodbye and going into the bowling alley. as soon as you walk in you see kat, ethan, jules, and maddy all hanging out. you go to the register to pay for yourself and went straight on over to maddy and the others. “[y/n]!” maddy exclaims and runs to you as she brings you into a tight embrace. this felt odd because uou guys weren’t really friends, but you liked it. but that happiness soon turned to sadness when you realized you just slept with her ex boyfriend. you felt guilty, and wrong. but what she doesn’t know wont hurt her.

[a/n]: eh not my best writing but part 3 is better

#euphoria #nate jacobs smut #nate jacobs x reader smut #euphoria imagines #rue bennett #cassie howard #maddy perez #jules vaughn #fezco #lexi howard #nate jacobs

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venusiangguk · 4 years

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gold rush pt. 3 | jjk (m)

>>pairing: jungkook x reader

>>genre: pwp, v little plot, smut, kinda fluffy, college au (kinda), established relationship

>>word count: 9.9k um?

>>warnings: pegging!!!, butt stuff!!!, sexy anal!!!, sub jk, soft dom oc, crying why do i always make everyone cry, fingering (m), strap on, dildos, vibrators, sex toys, sex shop adventures, explicit sex, like so explicit this bitch is basically 10k, mutual masturbation, coming untouched, kisses, aftercare in the form of snacks, titty squeezing, dirty talk, excessive use of pet names, yoongi exists

>>notes: i wasn’t gonna write this bc ur girl does not know the first thing about pegging, but jk sucking the strap came to me in a dream and i had to do it. it was highly requested so i hope u like it! i wrote and poorly edited this whole thing today so im sorry for any mistakes !!

>>summary: jk wants the strap, and jk gets what he wants !!

pt.1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3

The sun is shining, and there’s just the perfect amount of breeze to cool Jeongguk as sweat runs down his temple. The soccer pitch just got cut, making the ball much easier to control, and therefore much easier to aim at Jimin’s ass. It’s cool-down time, so the team is in groups of three, idly kicking the ball between each other, for the last few minutes of practice. All in all, a great day to talk about getting pegged with his best friends.

Jeongguk glances around the field, making sure the other groups are far enough away from him and his friends before clearing his throat. “So… do you guys like… get pegged?”

When Taehyung passes the ball to Jimin, Jimin completely misses it due to the fact that he is looking at Jeongguk like he is the most pitiful human on the planet. Jeongguk adjusts his shin guard to avoid the scrutiny.

“Gguk… honey… are you dumb?”

Taehyung’s jogging back after retrieving the ball that ran astray. “No, Mini. He’s straight.” He kicks the ball to Jeongguk. “If by ‘pegged’ you mean fucked in the ass by a real dick, then yeah. We do.”

Jeongguk receives the ball with a ‘rainbow’ and juggles it from his thigh to his laces, balancing the ball for a second before kicking it to Jimin. He nods, contemplative. “Nice.”

“Okay ace.” He passes to Taehyung, before throwing Jeongguk a teasing look. “You thinking about taking it up the ass, Gukkie?”

“Perhaps I’m contemplating.” He sniffs nose in the air.

Taehyung laughs. “Got your button milked once and now you wanna take a phallic shaped object? Proud of you.” He places his hand over his heart, like the mere thought of Jeongguk getting railed makes his heart warm.

A whistle blows, and Jeongguk kicks the ball up to his arm, tucking it into the curve of his trim waist. “Why does everyone call it a button? And it hasn’t only been once.” He sounds exasperated and so so tired.

His friends jog to bump shoulders with him as they make their way to the locker rooms. “Hey, jokes aside, I think it’s cool you’re like comfortable enough, or whatever, with __ to explore the things you like.” Taehyung says.

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. “Okay Dad.”

“No seriously!” Jimin insists, holding the locker room door open for them. Fuck the rest of the team. “She seems good for you. Babys you like you need.” Jimin laughs.

Jeongguk’s shirt gets caught on his head as he squawks. “I don’t just like being babied, fuck you.”

“Okay so she also entertains your sadistic side. She’s the full package.”

Jeongguk looks down with a blush. He shrugs his shoulders lightly before bending over to get out of his gear. “She’s pretty cool I guess.”

Taehyung knees him while he’s still bent over making him stumble a bit. “Awe, Jeonggukkie is in love.”

“Shut up.” Jeongguk smacks him in the face with his smelly sock.

“When you gonna do it?” Jimin asks, buttoning his new pants.

Apparently they aren’t showering today. Jeongguk will just have to stop at his dorm before heading to yours to help you study. That reminds him that you have a test on Friday, but are free this weekend. He just so happens to be free as well. The team they were supposed to play had to forfeit because their coach got caught sleeping with one of the cheerleaders. Sucks, but good for Jeongguk and his little asshole.

“Maybe this weekend.” With their backpacks on, they start the trek back to the dorms. It’s nearing night now, the sun just starting to set in the sky. Jeongguk pulls out his phone to tell you he’s stopping by his place before heading to you. You reply quickly.

baby🥺💘😏🧠🙄👊🏻:

okie

wanna have sex instead of helping me study

me:

yeah but im not gonna

just think about how good the sex will be when u get an a

baby🥺💘😏🧠🙄👊🏻:

🙄

When Jeongguk pockets his phone, Taehyung speaks up.

“You think she’ll be down?”

Jeongguk doesn’t hesitate. “Yeah, probably.”

Ever since the first time you made him cum untouched, butt stuff has been a moderately regular occurrence for you both as a long-term, healthy, pro-ass eating couple. Honestly it was mostly him getting his butt played with, but he supposed it made sense. Like Jimin explained to his once naïve self, it was just biological- or something. Whatever. He wonders if three fingers will be enough to fit a fake dick in his ass. He asks his friends.

“Eh…” Jimin starts, looking up like he’s thinking. “Maybe, but you might wanna try to get to four, maybe five if you're using hers, since she’s tiny.”

Jeongguk’s mouth falls open and he pales. Taehyung notices and laughs.

“Don’t get scared. It’s just better to over-prep than under-prep. And like obviously you work up to it, she’s not just gonna shove her fist or her cock up your ass.”

Her cock. A little tingle settles in Jeongguk’s lower belly at the statement. He’s been thinking about this for a while, looking at porn in his free time. Seeing the way the guys moan on their girls’ strap always gets him hard. Seeing how hard their cocks get when the toy hits them just right. He throbs when he sees the guys cum just from the strap, no hands. Maybe he should fuck you when he gets to your dorm instead of helping you study. His cock is feeling a little plump.

“Alright well… Bye, thanks for being gay and answering my anal questions!”

As he’s pressing the button to his elevator, they lived on opposite sides of the athlete dorm and there were different elevators for each of the wings, Jimin chirps, “Don’t forget to empty your asshole really well, and don’t eat the day of! Also buy extra lube and put a spare blanket down!”

Jeongguk winces. Valuable information indeed, information he mentally pockets, but did he need to yell it in the dorm common room?

“Noted!” He yells back at the elevator dings and opens up. Jeongguk pretends like he doesn’t meet the curious, kind of confused gaze of one of his teammates. He must have walked in while Jimin was yelling and only caught the end of the conversation while waiting for the same elevator. Jeongguk gets in and immediately closes the doors. He can catch the next lift.

~~~

Jeongguk’s got his head in your lap and you’re running your fingers through his long, silky hair. He showered today, so waves of his aromatherapy lavender shampoo are wafting up to you. Sweet boy. He seems sidetracked, occasionally sighing and subtly twisting, but is still more or less purring on your thigh, feet tucked up onto the cushion of the couch. Netflix is on the small tv that was left by the last person who lived there, you’re mac book connected via HDMI. You’re not really paying attention. Mind kind of tired from all the studying you had done this week. Jeongguk fidgets a tiny bit again, wiggling like he’s trying to get comfortable. He huffs a sigh.

“Hey,” You say softly, getting his attention.

His body curves at the waist, causing his t-shirt to bunch up and show off the dip of his hip bone. He looks up at you with wide eyes. He seems surprisingly awake. Must have some busy little bees buzzing around his mind. He makes a little questioning noise.

“You okay? You’re kinda fussy.” You murmur.

He groans. “I- am just thinking.”

“About?” You drag the word out in a singsong-y manner.

The way Jeongguk’s face flushes is so pretty, you have to stop yourself from cooing.

He moves himself from your lap and sits facing you. He looks like he's thinking about what to say, or how to say what he’s thinking so hard about.

Eloquently he states, “I’m horny.”

You glance at his cock. Not quite hard, but a little happy and excited. You chuckle, leaning towards him, giving him a playfully sexy look. “Okay, let’s fuck baby.”

Jeongguk blushes even more, cheeks tinted red, while he leans away from you.

You pout. “What?”

Again he pauses, a small pout on his lips. He seems to be in a soft, needy, difficult mood. You’re probably going to have to pry what he wants to say out of his mouth.

With another uncalled for exasperated huff, Jeongguk rolls his eyes and moves closer to you before catching you by surprise and swinging a leg over your lap. He’s facing you while he straddles your thighs. His arms are looped around your neck, he’s playing with a little bit of your hair, twirling the long length around his fingers. You smile up at him, gently. Your palms squeeze at his narrow hips encouragingly.

“I want to try something new…” He says. He sounds nervous and looks at you the same.

“Mhmm.” You say, fighting a smile.

“Really bad. Like I want it really bad.” His hips roll, probably unconsciously from the way he closes his eyes to ground himself.

You peek at his lap, and his cock is bulging, the fabric of his sweatpants doing nothing to help hide it. You bring your hand to it, and massage him through his pants.

He whines and pushes against your palm before a hand comes down and grabs your wrist, stopping the movement. “Quit it, I’m trying to talk.” He’s so petulant and whiny.

You move your hand away and place it back on his hip, giggling a little. “Well spit it out, then.”

He scowls. You reach up and smooth the wrinkle in his brow before trailing it down and cupping his cheek. He softens immediately, melts like butter in your hands. His eyes close and he lets out a soft sigh, body relaxing a little.

He’s whispering, kinda giggling out of embarrassment, when he says, “I want you to fuck me.” He pauses, peeking at you through his lashes. “Like for real.”

Almost instantly a little spark ignites in your belly, and you feel your pussy get that telltale heartbeat. You didn’t want to push Jeongguk into anything, but you’ve been thinking about taking the ‘next step’ with your… ass-plorations for some time. But you figured he would get to the same point on his own, and would come to you when he was ready. Turns out you know him as well as you thought you did.

“Yeah?” You rub your free hand up his side.

He nods quickly, eagerly. You pinch his cheek lightly, and he retaliates by trying to bite at it. To avoid the attack it finds his way back to his waist.

“When did you want to? Tonight?”

He wiggles impossibly closer to you. Kisses you quick before nodding again. “Yeah. I um. I already like prepped… mostly. I prepped what I could by myself.” He pauses with a cute thinking face. “You will probably have to help me a little. But yeah. I got ready for you just in case.” He nods.

You hum, glancing at the old clock on the wall, another gift from the prior tenant. 11:52 pm.

“If we hurry, we can make it to a sex shop? They don’t usually close until 2 or 3 in the morning.” You suggest.

Jeongguk bites his lip, smiling excitedly. “Really? Can we?”

You roll your eyes playfully. “Yeah, duh.” You lean up and give him a speedy, but thorough kiss, smiling into it. “Been wanting to peg you for so long.”

His face scrunches endearingly. “Don’t call it that.”

He hops off your lap, and goes to grab the keys, wasting no time. He stands by the door expectantly. His cock is, extremely obviously, sticking out. Someone didn’t wear his briefs today.

“Can you like… kill that?” You’re laughing as you tug on some sweats of your own, having only been lounging in your panties and one of his shirts. Your usual at home attire.

He looks down, and has a smug grin on his face when he looks at you again. “It’ll go down in the car. Hurry up!”

~~~

A dildo looks so much bigger when one is looking at it knowing that it will be inside of them within the next few hours. And there are so many options and colors. Some vibrate, some have fake pubic hair on them. Some have balls that are squishy and feel eerily… accurate.

Jeongguk isn’t having second thoughts, no. But he is having thoughts. Very overwhelming thoughts.

You’re next to your boyfriend, glancing between him and the varying selection of fake cocks displayed in front of you both, trying to gauge his reaction. He looks a little pale, but tentatively excited. Curious at the very least.

“Which one do you want?” You ask.

“No idea.” He responds, eyes wide.

Like most store clerks, one shows up, almost like they have a built in ‘customer needs help and has no idea which dildo to get to peg her super hot boyfriend’ radar.

“You guys need help?” He is a small man, with a monotone voice. He looks like he would rather be anywhere else at 12:30am on a Saturday night.

“NO!” Jeongguk says quickly and loudly. Very loudly.

Both you and the store clerk flinch, looking at him shocked.

Jeongguk shifts on his feet. “No.” He says in a more socially acceptable tone. “No- I’m sorry. But we’re uh-” He grabs your arm and pulls you closer. “We’re good, thanks.”

The clerk looks between you and Jeongguk and the dildos. “Um… Alright.” He starts to walk away before he turns back around. “Well if you change your mind, I’m Yoongi and I’ll be at the counter. If your toy is electric I’ll test it in the back before you leave… We uh- provide batteries with your purchase if needed…” With one last glance, a very judgmental one in Jeongguk’s opinion, Yoongi takes his place at said counter. His eyes flicker to you guys every once in a while.

“Baby,” You grab Jeongguk’s face between your palms and make him look at you. You squeeze and his lips poke out making him look like a guppy. He blinks. “I know you’re nervous, but it’s going to be okay.”

He rolls his eyes, guppy face and all. “Well obviously. I just- We don’t need help.” He wiggles out of your grip, much like a… guppy.

You grin, trying not to laugh, and just be the supportive girlfriend you are. “Okay, did you decide which one you want?”

A side glance. “Not yet…”

You walk up and go to grab a pink sparkly one.

“Uh, not that one.”

You quirk an eyebrow and move your hand to a larger one.

“No.”

You play a little game of dildo hot or cold until you have a better idea of what Jeongguk wants. His preference seems to be skin tone, close to his own, with a more realistic feel. Normal balls though, not squishy. Also no faux hair. You thank him for that. If you actually had a penis it would surely be waxed. Bless Jeongguk for doing the same. As for size, he leaned more towards a very normal, moderate size. Maybe 5 or 6 inches at most, not too thick. Smaller than himself. One last option.

“Do you want it to vibrate?” You ask, holding one in your hand testing the numerous different settings.

He shakes his head, answering quick. “No.”

He pauses.

“Wait.” He thinks. “Maybe. Should we? You could use it too?”

Sweet, kind, considerate angel. Always thinking about you and your pleasure. Couples who share the strap last the longest.

You shrug, pointing out, “I could use one that doesn’t vibrate too.”

He looks offended and sounds snotty. “Uh, you don’t need to.”

“Whatever. Why don’t we get both?”

You had a point. He pretends to ponder it, before nodding, already persuaded. “Okay.”

“We need the harness now.”

You begin the harness hunt, walking through the store, coming across many a things, but for some reason you both keep missing them. They’re nowhere to be found.

“Maybe they’re sold out?” He tries.

“Doubt it. Let’s go ask.” You grab him by his pinky and try to drag him to the counter. He resists.

“Let’s not.”

“Koo.” You say giving him a look.

He whines, throwing his head back. Borderline throwing a fit. You hold your ground, smiling.

He’s easy to give in. Being a brat just on principle. “Fine but you’re talking.”

You stand on your tiptoes and kiss his cheek. “Of course, baby.” With his pinky in hand, you make your way to the counter.

The store clerk, Yoongi, if you remember correctly, is sitting behind the counter hunched over smiling at his phone. He doesn’t seem to notice you’re there.

You clear your throat gently, “Excuse me?”

Yoongi jumps, almost throwing his phone. “Fuck!” He exclaims. His fists come up ready to fight before he sees it’s you and Jeongguk. He then places his hand over his heart. “Shit, you scared me.” He chuckles, recovering quickly. “How can I help you?”

You stare at him for a moment longer before speaking up. “Um yeah, I was just wondering where your harnesses are?”

He leans on the counter, head in his hand looking kinda bored. “Hanresses? What kind? Hanging harness? Body harness?”

You glance at Jeongguk and he looks like he’s going to die.

“The um- strap on harnesses?” Your voice goes to a whisper when you say it, despite it just being you guys in the store.

Yoongi sits up, and looks at you, and then looks at Jeongguk. A look of understanding comes over his face along with an amused smile. He nods to himself, while getting up to help you. “Nice. Follow me.”

Jeongguk gapes at the ‘nice’ and looks at you in disbelief. You pat his butt telling him to get going.

With some help from Yoongi you pick out a harness that looks supportive and comfortable, the ring that holds the dildo, compatible with both the ones that you plan on getting. It’s a simple adjustable black one. Yoongi recommended wearing something under it if the straps dig into you and irritate. He seems bored, but he’s actually very good at his job, and very knowledgeable.

Finally you’re at the counter. You place all the items in Yoongi’s reach and he’s just about to tell you the total when Jeongguk perks up.

“Wait!” He says before scurrying off.

It’s quiet for a split second. Before the clerk speaks up.

“He’s cute.”

You smile, “Thanks, he’s mine.”

Yoongi laughs, small little fish teeth and gums on display. Must be a Pisces. You know Pisces teeth. “Does he have any cute friends?”

You nod. “Yeah, but they are dating.”

He shrugs. “Don’t care.”

“Uh… I can give you their Instagrams?”

He pulls out his phone, and follows them right there after a quick glance at their pages. Confidence is nice.

There’s a short lull in the conversation. And Jeongguk seems to be taking his sweet time getting something you guys must have forgotten. Or the poor things lost. It’s a big store. You speak up this time.

“Do you have like a manager I could leave a review for? You were really helpful, and seemed like you really knew what you were talking about.”

He shakes his head. “Nah, I own the place. You think I would be here on a Saturday night if it wasn’t obligatory? Thanks, though.”

“Oh.” You say. That was pretty impressive. The store was quite successful based on the reviews. You would make sure to let Jimin and Taehyung know Yoongi was a business man.

“Okay, I’m back.” Jeongguk announces. “Sorry I forgot where it was.”

He places 2 (two) large bottles of lube on the counter. You cough out a laugh.

“Baby, we have lube at home.”

“But do we have enough?”

“I think maybe one more would be more than enough.”

He ignores you, looking Yoongi in the eyes for the first time tonight. “Add both please.”

Yoongi nods, looking a little scared of Jeongguk’s seriousness, and does as he’s ordered.

After Jeongguk pays, and you both are making your way to the exit, Yoongi calls out, “Good luck, tell your friends to follow me back!”

“Uh- Okay?” Jeongguk yells back. When you’re in the parking lot, he asks, “What the heck was that about?”

You shake your head, laughing to yourself. “Don’t worry about it.”

~~~

As soon as you get back to your dorm, the atmosphere is thick, full of tension and nervous anticipation. Jeongguk’s fidgety, eager to get started. You’re not far off, but contain yourself a little more. Need to keep control of the situation in case Jeongguk gets deep into his mood.

You guys are in the bathroom now, each one washing a toy before you use it. You make sure to unwrap the harness and the lube as well, both at Jeongguk’s insistent request, ensuring you don’t have to stop and deal with it later.

“Let’s just get undressed in here, it’s where my hamper is.” You say already tugging your shirt over your head, tits bouncing freely. Jeongguk went without briefs today, and you went without a bra.

Jeongguk quietly follows suit, and you don’t miss the way his hands are trembling a little in anticipation. When you’re both naked he kisses you quickly, and jiggles your boobs a little just because they are there and because he can, before saying, “Okay, lets go.” He’s out the bathroom before you can even respond. You laugh to yourself and gather the stuff he forgot in his excitement.

When you walk out with your hands full, you see Jeongguk spreading out a blanket over your comforter.

“Whatcha doin?” You ask curiously, placing the items on the nightstand.

“Gets messy. Wanna save your bedding.” He states.

You squawk, grabbing the blanket he set up on your bed. “Not my baby blanket you monster.”

He laughs, abs tensing. You notice he’s already hanging a little heavy between his thighs. “Sorry. Was the first one I saw.” He walks over to the couch and replaces the blanket that’s hanging over the back with your baby blanket and resets up. “Better?” he asks, extended his arm towards your bed to show off his work.

You nod, and take the few steps needed to close the space between you both. Your hand runs down his belly, and you feel his muscles jump, and you see little goosebumps sprout all over. His hands come up to cup your tits. You kiss softly where his heart is. You look up at him.

“I love you.” You smile.

He blushes. “Love you.” He whispers, before he leans down and slots your lips together.

It’s eager from the start. Your bodies press together, as your hands roam. When he takes a breath and surges back in, your teeth click together is his haste, before his tongue slips into your mouth. He groans into you, his hand going down to cup your ass, squeezing and pulling you impossibly closer.

You feel his cock against your belly, almost fully hard already. You reach down to wrap a hand around him, wanting to help him get there before you get started. He hisses, thrusting forward instinctively before pulling away. He looks like he hates that he does.

“No- I,” He’s already short of breath, chest rising and falling a little bit faster than normal. “I wanna watch you cum. With the toy.” He reaches around you, grabbing the vibrating dildo. “Please?” He asks. His eyes are fervent.

You take the toy in your hand, and kiss him again softly. “Yeah, baby. Whatever you. It’s all about you tonight.”

He shakes his head. “Always about you too.”

Your heart beats, happy in your chest. You thought about it earlier in the night, but Jeongguk really was the best lover. He always, always made sure you were taken care of, before, during, and after sex. He was so vocal and communicative, genuinely wanting you to know it was always about both of you, even if one was receiving more attention. He was caring like that in and out of the bedroom. You were so lucky to be his.

“You’re too good to me,” You laugh, climbing onto the bed. You settle back against your pillows, propping some behind you so you can see him, and watch him while you get off. He takes his place in front of you, looking at you expectantly.

He’s impatient, placing his hands on your knees, spreading you open so he can see your cunt. You let him get you into position before saying, “Keep your hands to yourself now, okay?”

He nods, eyes never leaving your pussy. He licks his lips. “Okay.” It’s said in a distracted kind of far away tone.

You hum as you bring the toy to your mouth, getting it wet. You wouldn’t need any lube, you would be dripping in no time. You don’t waste any time putting your free hand down between your legs and spreading your pussy lips, so your clit and the pretty pink center of your cunt are displayed for Jeongguk. You glance at him through your lashes, when you hear a small gasp fall from his lips. He’s already got a hand around himself. Just the tips of his fingers stroking his length, at a leisurely pace.

“She’s so pretty… You’re so pretty.” His eye flick to your face before zeroing in on your center again.

“Tell me how to do it baby. Tell me what you want to see.” You say, voice salacious and soft. You circle your finger slowly around your nub, dipping inside just a bit to spread your slick around.

When he swallows, it’s audible, his Adam's apple jumping. “I want you to turn it on low, and put it on your clit. I want you to feel good.”

You smile, and drag the tip of it down your body to just above your clit, turning it on the lowest setting before making contact with your sensitive nub. Your legs jolt, almost closing when you feel the vibrations. Even the lowest setting was strong. Your head falls back, and your legs spread more for him once you get used to the strength of the toy. “Fuck…” You breathe.

“Does it feel good?” He asks, greedy for your pleasure.

You nod, eyes still closed, focusing. You move the vibrator in small circles over your clit. You can hear Jeongguk’s breaths speed up.

“Turn it up.” His voice gives away that he’s speeded up his hand on his cock too.

You do as he says, looking at him as you do. He’s sin personified. He’s on his knees, sitting back on his feet, so his thighs are flexed and bulging. His abs tense when his palm twists under the crown of his cock. His eyes almost look black, pupils blown so wide, lust taking over his face. He’s got his plump bottom lip drawn between his teeth. He looks up from your pussy and catches you staring. He smiles shyly.

You keep your eyes on him as you bring the toy back down to your core. A short high pitched moan falls from your lips, as your brows knit together, before your eyes roll back. He groans, your expression enough to make his cock start to leak.

“Feels so good, Jeongguk.” You moan. The vibrator is right where it feels best, pulsing against your clit, causing pleasure to bleed into your veins.

“Yeah, baby?” He asks, he’s breathless, sounds like he’s in love. With you, your cunt. “Tell me.”

“‘S just right Koo, could make me cum just like this…”

He curses, and you open your eyes just in time to see him grip the base of his cock, keeping himself in check. “Not yet, baby. Little longer, please.” Still so polite and good for you, even when he’s the one telling you what to do.

He has you keep the vibe there, for a while longer, right in the spot that’s gonna make you lose it. He watches as a tiny clear drop leaks from you pink little pussy. It looks like it’s heavy and about to drip down to the blanket under you. He doesn’t notice your legs shaking until you’re gasping, “Koo, I’m almost- I’m gonna-”

“No!” He says quickly, his hand reaches out to pull the vibrator from your cunt just before you get your high. Your pussy aches and throbs, wanting to cum so bad.

Your chest is heaving when you ask, “Are… are you edging me?”

He shakes his head, even though your eyes are closed, trying to catch your breath. “No, no! I just. I got distracted.” He looks at that small drop of slick again. Fuck, he wants to lick it up and drink you down. “You’re leaking.” He states.

You laugh, breathing getting back to normal. “Yeah?” You reach your hand down to collect the distracting little droplet and bring it in front of you. You press the sticky finger to your thumb and then pull them apart to see the clear strings stay connected even as you pull. You hum, before offering your hand to Jeongguk. He sucks in a breath.

“Want some?”

He’s quick as he crawls between you legs, cock fully hard now. He watches you as he sucks your fingers into his mouth, tongue swirling around getting every last bit, before he sucks off with a pop!

He crawls farther up your body to kiss you deep, wanting you to get a taste of yourself too. He pulls back just a bit, and whispers against your lips, “I want you to fuck yourself with it, okay? Just for a little bit, then you can cum?” He’s phrasing it as a question, knowing he really doesn't have the final say, not tonight. But his voice is shaking from how turned on he is, how could you ever say no?

“Sit back.” Is all you respond. He does as he’s told.

You buzz the toy over your clit again, just because you can. Wanting to see how long Jeongguk can be good before begging. Turns out it’s not long at all.

“Put it in…” He moans. You look at him and his mouth is parted, and his eyes heavy as he watches you. His hand is moving fast over his cock, sticking straight up to his tummy. “Please.”

You drag the toy down to your slit, and tease it there before just barely pushing it in just a fraction of the length. Jeongguk whines, high and desperate. Apparently you’re moving to slow for him.

“More,” He begs.

You sigh, “You’re so needy tonight, baby.” He nods, agreeable.

When the toy sinks inside of you all the way to the hilt, you and Jeongguk both moan a quiet, “Fuck.” simultaneously. You’re coherent enough to laugh a little at the jinx, but he seems to barely notice, too focused on watching the toy sink into you, and then come back out to vibrate your clit again. You keep up this teasing pattern, again waiting to be told what to do by him, waiting to see how long he makes it this time.

“Harder, do it harder,” He’s panting. Moaning every word that leaves his lips.

You do as he says, and finally push the toy in at a pace that gets you climbing to being close again. You won’t be able to come like this though, and he knows that. Knows that you can only cum from penetration with him. He leans over and grabs the other toy from the end table, spitting on it and spreading it around until it's covered well.

“Use them both, want you to cum for me.”

With two toys in your hands, one in your cunt, filling you up, and one on your clit, making your legs shake, you do your best to make yourself cum. But it’s not enough. A soft whine falls from your lips, you’re so close, but you need more. More than you can give yourself.

“Faster baby, faster. You’re so close.” He whispers. He got both hands working now too, one stroking and one down tugging on his balls.

You whimper, “I can’t my arm hurts. It’s tired.”

Immediately he stops pleasing himself and gets right to pleasing you. Your pleasure taking priority. “Shh, don’t worry, I’ll help you baby.”

Jeongguk sits between your legs, and takes over the toy fucking into you, and turns up the one on your clit. With him pushing the toy in at a pace that you couldn’t do yourself, and the other toy vibing your clit incessantly, it takes barely any time at all for you to cum. You were so close already, just needed him to push you over.

Your legs are shaking and your toes are curling, when you cry out, “Baby, I’m gonna cum.”

“Do it, baby. Wanna watch.” He’s quiet, paying close attention to your body and the reactions he’s helping pull from it. He’s part of the reason why your face looks so pornographic as you finish. He’s part of the reason why your back is arching off of the bed. He’s part of the reason why your toes are curling, and why your legs are shaking, and why your pussy is contracting over the toy he’s still thrusting inside of you, working you through every last second of your orgasm. He reads your body cues, and slows down and pulls it out when you start to come down. You look blissed out, and you bring a hand to your hair and fluff it a little before laughing.

“That was good.” You sigh smiling, and when you look at him an image forms in your head, and you have every intention of making him carry it out.

Right before your eyes, Jeongguk wraps his lips around the toy that is going to be inside of him in just a short while, sucking off your slick. He laps his tongue around it trying to get it all. He’s obscene.

“Gimme,” You say sitting up with an extended hand.

He pouts at being interrupted, but does as he’s told. He takes your spot on the bed, and you head to the bathroom, stopping by your dresser on the way.

When you get to the bathroom, you close the door and get to cleaning the toys once again. After, you get to the stuff you grabbed from the wardrobe. A lacy pair of black panties, and sheer black thigh highs with matching lace adorning the tops. You slip into them, and then move on to the strap on. You hold it in front of you and try to make sense of which part goes where, and which holes your legs go into. It takes a second, but you get into it, adjusting it so it's nice and snug. Your outfit probably won’t help much with protecting your thighs, but at least the little part above your pussy will be safe. You look at yourself in the mirror. Not too weird or scary yet. You glance at the dildo on the counter.

It’s not too big so hopefully it’s not too… jarring when you see yourself with it. You get to work, slipping the suction base of the non-vibrating toy into the ring that’s meant to hold it in place. You look at it sticking out from your crotch and take a deep breath before turning to the mirror.

You gasp, before cackling quietly. You knew it was going to be weird. Like you knew. But actually seeing yourself with the whole get up is funny. Right now at least. You know it’s going to be sexy, once you get used to it and into the moment and inside of Jeongguk. You wonder how he’s going to react. Only one way to find out.

While you're walking to your bedroom from the bathroom, the dildo bobs, and you're giggling distractedly until you lift your eyes to let your boyfriend know you're ready. Again you’re met with a scene so indecent it belongs in a porno.

Jeongguk’s eyes are closed and soft moans are falling from his lips as he strokes his cock. He’s got three fingers in his ass, opening himself up for you, for your cock. Such a good good boy. He was so patient and productive while you got ready for him.

“You’re so good baby,” You murmur softly.

Jeongguk blinks his eyes open slowly, and rolls his head to the side to look at you. He doesn’t even falter in his movements at all, hand still moving, fingers still thrusting. He smiles a little when he sees you, but his eyes are hazy and he sounds lust drunk when he simply says, “You look sexy.”

You blush and a fond smile graces your lips, any embarrassment or self consciousness you were feeling prior to seeing him spread out for you on your bed, quickly vanishing.

You settle on the bed between his legs and watch for a moment as his hole takes his long fingers in. “Want me to help?” You ask quietly.

“Mhmm,” He nods, eyes closed still, tongue peeking out from between his lips. He doesn’t take his fingers out, though.

You grab the lube next to him, and flip it open. “You gonna get out so I can get in?”

He shakes his head. “Nuh uh. Put one in with mine.”

Something about that makes your body tingle. Inside of him with him. Opening him up. You can’t explain it, because you don’t really even get it yourself, but it makes you buzz and feel almost high.

You slick up your middle finger, and drizzle some more on his for good measure. He jumps slightly, and then giggles softly.

“Cold.” He says.

“Sorry,” You say distractedly. Your finger is lined up with his now.

“I’ve never done 4 before so you… have to go slow…” He pauses as he speaks, letting himself moan freely when his fingers graze over that secret spot that he’s grown to love so much.

“Tell me to stop if you need to.”

He doesn’t reply, just stops his fingers so you can wiggle yours in next to his. At the first push against his hole, there’s resistance. Very much expected. He’s quiet, teeth gritted, but he never says stop, knowing his body wants it, and knowing it will accommodate what he wants. After the second knuckle, your finger sinks in, almost gets sucked in, by his hole.

He lets out a shaky breath.

“You okay, baby?” You check in.

“Yeah just… full.” He moans when you wiggle your finger experimentally. “”S good. Move it some more.”

You do, and his start to move with yours. You can feel his fingers curl inside of himself to reach his prostate, and it’s pleasant in an out of body way, knowing when his face is going to contort in pleasure, and when he’s going to cry out, when you never really knew before. You’ve milked him before, of course, but feeling him do it to himself from the inside? It’s kind of thrilling.

“Pull, stretch me out.” He moans, voice impatient and needy.

He gets kinda slutty when something’s up his ass.

He swears when you do, his finger rubbing insistent circles on his prostate to distract himself from the minor sting of the stretch. His moans, start to raise in pitch and his hand that’s on his cock, still jerking it, starts to speed up. You can tell he’s close. He clenches against your finger that’s still stretching him open.

“Fuck,” He says, on a breathless giggle, “Take them out. Or I’m gonna cum.” He’s still stroking his cock, like he doesn’t wanna stop.

“You c-”

“No. Out.” He demands, hand finally pulling away from his cock, and his fingers inside stop. You gently ease out of him.

When Jeongguk’s fingers slip out, you gasp. His little pink hole is clenching on nothing, still open just the tiniest bit, thoroughly stretched.

“You know how you always say my pussy is pretty?” You ask, fingers tracing around the puffy stretched rim.

He makes an affirmative noise, watching you with hooded, lazy eyes as you touch him. He even spreads farther so you can touch and see better. You marvel at the difference between the embarrassed boy you made cum untouched a couple months ago, and the one in front of you now, so comfortable and relaxed. It makes you happy.

“Well, your butthole is pretty.”

He snorts, and kicks you lightly. He smiles at you, soft and sluggish. “Just fuck me.”

He sounds so wistful and just ready.

But you’re not.

You grip the base of your cock, and stand up. You walk to the head of the bed, next to his confused face. You stay there waiting for him to get it. He doesn’t.

“You want me inside of you right baby?” You ask, voice gentle.

He nods, eyes no longer hazy, but wide and confused. He looks between you and your cock.

“I think that means you have to get me ready. Get me nice and wet, right?”

You can physically see when Jeongguk gets it. When it clicks for him. His eyes darken, and he licks his lips. “Yeah… You’re right. I should… help you.” He whispers, sitting up. You back up enough for him to have a place on the floor.

Jeongguk on his knees for you isn’t a new sight. He’s eaten your pussy like this before, you either grinding onto his face, or him holding you still and making quick work of your clit. But Jeongguk on his knees for you to suck your cock? New, and lewd.

He looks nervous, kind of hesitant. A hand is raised midway, like he isn't sure if he should grab it.

“Lick it, baby.” You encourage.

He glances at you, doe eyes seeking approval as he leans forward and gives a kitten lick to the tip. You nod, letting him know he’s doing well. His hand comes up and replaces yours at the base and he opens his mouth enough to wrap his lips around the head, and he swirls his tongue.

He pops off, and strokes up to where his mouth was and spreads the little bit of spit. The silicone is still dry though, so he spits on it more, straight from his mouth. You suck in a breath.

“Fuck, you’re so hot baby.” You whisper a breathy moan as his hands move up and down your cock. He adds his mouth again.

He hums a little, before backing up and looking at you again. “Does that feel good?” He asks.

You laugh lightly, in pure awe of him. He’s so sexy, and so sweet, and so incredibly lust inducing. Your pussy aches behind your cock. “Feels so good, baby. You’re doing so good.”

He hums, still stroking you off. “I really want it inside me…” He says, hinting that he’s ready.

You have mercy on him, having fulfilled your newfound personal fantasy enough for the night. Maybe you could revisit it another time. But now it was time to fulfill a mutual fantasy.

“On the bed, hands and knees.” You tell him.

Excitedly he hops back onto the bed, and gets into position, his hole on display for you. His back is arched and you can see the plush swell where his lower back meets the top of his cheeks. You settle behind him, and his shoulder to waist to hip ratio, is sinful. He’s always had the daintiest waist, strong, but still so small. But at this angle, it’s cinched and the way his legs are spread makes his hips look wider, accentuating the dip at his middle. You rub your hands over the narrow curve, all the way to his cheeks, grabbing handfuls of the muscle. There’s a slight give when you squeeze your hands.

Jeongguk’s head drops, and he lets out a shuddering sigh, he’s got the chills again, and he’s got a constant thrum coursing through his body. “Please…” He moans, so quietly, so desperately.

You kiss the small of his back before grabbing the lube left abandoned on the bed. You lather 2 of your fingers, and push them into Jeongguk’s hole making sure he’s nice and slick. There’s no resistance at all, hole loose and ready enough for them to slip right in. Then you lather your cock, probably with too much lube, honestly, but you wanted to be so sure that he didn’t feel any more pain than absolutely necessary. You knew the first initial push in would be the worst, but you were hopeful you both had stretched him out enough to at least minimize or diminish it altogether.

You grab the base of your cock and line it up with his hole. It flutters, when you barely press against his rim.

“Ready?” You ask, giving a heads up.

“Yeah.” He says softly.

He’s tight. His hole sinks in with the tip of your cock before the rim gives and swallows around it. Jeongguk tenses and his hands grip the blanket under you.

“Shit…” He groans. He sounds like he’s clenching his teeth.

You rub soothingly at his lower back, fingers dipping when you run them over the dimples at the bottom of his spine. “You’re doing so good baby.” You tell him.

“Doesn’t really hurt, I’m just stretching.” He says through his teeth. “I can take it though, keep going.”

You grab the lube and drizzle more directly onto his hole. He doesn’t mention the cold this time, too focused on taking your cock. You push against him, and feel yourself sink deeper into him. It’s like after the tip was in, his body knew what to do to take the rest. The slide wasn’t a swift, fast stroke, but it was a smooth and slow glide. When you bottom out Jeongguk’s arms give out from under him, his face going to the bed.

“Holy fuck.” He keens, resting his head on his arms. Your hands are constantly on him, soothing him in any way that you can.

“Tell me when.” You whisper patiently. He nods. With his head turned to the side and pillowed on his arms, you can see his eyes are squeezed shut. The inhales and exhales you can see in the expanding of his ribcage, tell you that he’s taking deep breaths working through the stretch, getting himself used to it.

“Okay… Ready.” He murmurs.

You pull out just a bit before pushing back in. Jeongguk moans softly. Spreads his legs even wider, arches his back even deeper. He’s pushing his ass out for you, his body begging you to make it feel good.

You keep a slow pace, kind of nervous to speed up.

“You can go faster, feels nice.” He says. He’s been puffing out little gasps of air every time you bottom out with your slow pace.

With his consent, you grab at his hips and pull out to just the tip, before swiftly pushing back in, fast and hard. His cheeks bounce on the impact. You grab one and jiggle it a little, thrusting into him again, drinking down the whines that slip out.

“You’ve got such a bubble butt, I never noticed before. But it like… bounces.” You say, wonder in your tone.

“Thanks, can you like tell me about it later?” He asks, voice strained.

Point taken.

Your thrust game is kind of shitty, in reality. It’s hard to find a rhythm, your hips not used to moving this way. But Jeongguk is moaning freely underneath you, just happy to have something inside of him after thinking about it all week. So you keep going, and eventually, the pattern comes to you, still kind of messy, but now you’ve got him cursing beneath you. You’ve got one hand on his ass, the other braced on his arched spine.

A particularly good thrust has Jeongguk burying his face into the bed, teeth biting at the bedding. “Yeah fuck-” He groans with his mouth full of blanket. With his hands now free, he brings them behind him and settles them on his cheeks and spreads.

You watch clearly as your cock sinks into Jeongguk’s ass. You’re out of breath, but you make sure to tell him how good he looks, how pretty his hole looks swallowing your cock, like it was made to take it.

“Wanna ride you.” He says. His voice is pitifully wrecked and he sounds so thoroughly fucked, you feel a little proud. Still, you’re grateful for a break. You don’t know how he fucks you like he does. ‘Topping’ is tiring. You pull out of him, and realize that when you were in awe of his hole at taking your fingers, it was premature. Jeongguk’s hole after he takes your cock is vulgar. It’s properly gaped now. Not huge, but around a fingers width.

He rolls over, and settles on his back like he just needs a moment. His chest is heaving, similar to yours. You hop off the bed, and a needy keen comes from him. You glance back at him, and he looks like he’s going to get up and follow you, but you hush him gently.

“I’m just getting some water, baby. I’ll be right back.”

He huffs flopping back onto his back. “Hurry please.” He whines.

You get back as soon as possible with a glass of water for you both to share. He sits up onto one elbow and makes a grabby hand for the cup after you’ve had your share. You swat his hand away and hold the cup to his lips. He hums, gulping the water down. He’s happy to be coddled and taken care of. When he finishes with a cute little gasp, you place the cup to the side, and brush your hand through his sweaty hair.

He butts his head against your palm and laughs. His eyes shut, and crinkled at the corners. His water break seems to have perked him up. His cock hasn’t deflated one bit. Rock hard and red, throbbing against his tummy. It’s messy and wet too.

You’re about to ask if he touched himself while you were inside of him, but before you can, you’re getting manhandled until he’s on top of you. He’s got your hands pinned above your head, and he smiles at you playfully, before leaning down to kiss you, deep and slow. He sucks on your lip, and slowly grinds his cock onto your belly, soft whines spilling from his tongue. He brushes his nose against yours as he sighs into your mouth, finally allowing himself the pleasure of paying attention to his cock.

He doesn’t allow himself relief for long, however. He’s sitting up and looking from side to side for the lube before finally spotting it. His movements are quick and hectic, like he’s too excited and overly eager.

You rub your hands over his strong thighs. “Hey, slow down. You don’t have to rush. We have all night.”

He sighs at your touch, and nods softly. He whispers. “Yeah… okay. I love you.”

The little affection makes you swoon, absolutely smitten. “I love you.” You squeeze at his legs, tenderly.

He hums. “Gonna ride you now.” He opens the lube and continues with eager actions, almost like you didn’t even slow him down just a moment ago. You smile fondly to yourself. Jeongguk’s too busy slicking up your cock again to notice the mushy look.

He’s got a hand reaching behind him and he’s gripping your cock to line it up with his hole. He wiggles to get into the right position before slowly starting to sink down. His eyebrows are pinched, and his mouth falls open. But his eyes roll back when he bottoms out. His hands are braced on your stomach.

“Oh, I love it like this.” He whimpers. His legs tense at your sides, almost like he’s trying to close his legs at the pleasure he feels from your cock being tucked inside of him, hitting all the right places. He starts to grind on your cock, soft pleasured little mewls just tumbling off his tongue.

He looks so good, whining, grinding on you with his weeping cock displayed. But you wanna see him lose it on your cock. See him fall apart at how good it feels, not watch him bask in it.

“Bounce on it.” You say, voice sounding almost as fucked out as his. You know your panties are soaked through at this point, pussy pulsing and neglected, tucked away behind the strap.

Jeongguk nods. “Yeah, wanna.”

He’s lifting himself off your cock to the tip before sliding down on it again, hard and fast. It punches a sharp gasp from his lungs. He finds a pace he likes and keeps it up, his thighs tensing, and his abs flexing as he tests his stamina, chasing that euphoric feeling he wants so so badly. He’s so strong and fit, bouncing up and down on your cock as loud unabashed moans fill the room.

The force of him riding you makes your tits jiggle, bouncing around until they catch his attention. He groans before his hands find them, squeezing hard, using them as leverage as he pulls and drags his hips over yours. Your cock must be rubbing over his prostate because he’s losing his mind. All kinds of noises leave his mouth, and the expressions he makes are filthy.

“Fuck baby. You make me feel so good. The best- I-” He eyes squeeze shut and his mouth opens in a silent moan, overwhelmed, before a guttural groan sounds from deep within his chest. “God. Wanna cum on your cock, baby. Fuck me-”

You laugh, wonderstruck, and kind of deliriously high on the satisfaction and fulfillment you get from seeing Jeongguk feel so just…. Good. “Yeah baby? You’re gonna cum for me? All over my cock?”

He whimpers and nods as he gets back to bouncing, a desperation to his movements that wasn’t there before. His cock is slapping against both of your stomachs with nasty wet noises due to his precum getting everywhere. You feel some fly and hit your neck, his cock just dripping, weeping and begging to cum.

It won’t be long though, before he cums. You feel the way his thighs tense, and he gets that confused look on his face, and he’s got that puzzled pitch to his moans. It’s the way he always gets when he cums untouched, always in awe that he can do it himself, without a hand around his cock. His whole body is flushed and hot to the touch, sweat making him glow in the soft light of your bedroom lamp.

He throws his head back, neck extended, and veins bulging, before looking down at his bouncing cock. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum.” He’s so whiny and noisy when he moans.

“Yeah?” You ask again, “Do it baby, show me how. You can do it, cum for me.”

He’s nodding frantically, “Yeah- I’m gonna... Fuck, yes- Yeah, I’m-” He bounces a few more times, silent aside from the obscene squelching noises of your skin meeting, before his body tenses one last time before that string in him snaps. “Cumming-” He chokes it out. His moans don’t stop the whole time his cock shoots out his load, landing on your tummy. The moans even turn into cries, actual tears filling his eyes and falling down his cheeks. His body jerks and twitches with his orgasm. But still, he’s grinding on you, your cock still rubbing that spot inside of him, it’s like he never wants the feeling to end, even if it’s devastating, bordering on too much to handle.

You smooth your hands all over his sweaty body, before firmly placing them on his hips, stopping him. “Hey. You’re good, you did so good baby, you don’t have to keep going.”

Jeongguk’s cries are quiet, and he takes a few deep stuttering breaths to try and calm himself down, nodding with your soothing words. He rubs the back of his hand at his eyes, trying to dry them. It doesn’t help much, he’s calmed himself some but a few silent tears still make their way out, along with some soft hiccupping breaths.

“Lay down, and wait for me, hmm?” You whisper gently. He nods and lifts himself slowly, wincing at the sore ache in his hole. It’s more prevalent now that the pleasure has subsided. He all but collapses onto your pillow.

“I’m gonna get some more water, and a towel okay?”

He grunts in response.

Before you go, you strip out of the gear, just tossing it on the ground, eager to get back to Jeongguk after getting the things you need.

When you get back, he is in the same exact position, and you laugh lightly.

“Baby?” You ask, making sure he didn’t fall asleep.

Another grunt.

Good, he would hate you in the morning if you left him to sleep being so messy.

“Sit up, I have water and snacks and cleaning supplies.”

His head pops up. “Snacks?” His hair is sticking up on one side.

You laugh, endeared. He’s not crying anymore either, a good sign that he will be okay in just a little while after some kisses and love.

“Yeah, I got some of those seaweed chips you like, and some water.”

He sits up, leaning back on the pillows knowing the drill for after butt stuff. You hand him the water and the chips. He eats first.

“You hungry?” You ask, fitting yourself between his legs with the warm washcloth. He opens easily, munching away. You both are far past after sex shyness.

He talks with his mouth full. “Yeah. Jimin said not to eat the day off.”

You hum curiously, but don’t question it. Jimin partakes in butt stuff much more than you both.

You’ve got all the lube cleaned off his thighs and cheeks, now all that’s left is his hole. You do it as gently as you can, knowing he’s sore just from how red and swollen and puffy it is. But he still winces.

“How bad is it?” He mumbles.

You hesitate. “Um… You’re gonna be a little sore.” You tell him simply.

He groans, before downing his water. When he’s done, he says, “Practice is going to suck.”

You nod in agreement. It was. You wrap the used cloth in the blanket you used to protect your sheets, once again just tossing the bundle to the floor.

“Worth it though,” He smiles, pleased.

You chuckle as you find your place by him. He’s set his refreshments aside and lets you curl against him. His body sags with exhaustion when he feels your warmth press into him. You plant kisses on every inch of skin you can reach. He purrs.

“Why’d you keep going?” You ask, between smooches.

“I don’t know… it just felt so good. I guess I didn’t want it to stop.” He’s quiet, and his words are said on a sigh.

You nod, your kisses making your way to his lips. You just kiss him, slow and easy, for a few minutes until he yawns into it. He giggles.

“I’m so tired man.”

“I bet man.” You tease.

He kisses you one more time before asking, “Will you tickle my back until I fall asleep?” It’s hopeful and so sugary sweet.

“Yeah roll over.”

It’s barely a few minutes before you're met with his soft snores. You kiss his shoulder blade, before following right behind him.

~~~~

you ask for pegging and you shall receive :] i hope you liked it and that it met ur pegging standards askdkhjd as always, comments and feedback and asks and notes are loved and appreciated. thank you for reading friends ily :*

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favefandomimagines · 3 years

Text

Fools Gold (r.c.)

Summary: how much are you worth to rafe and his friends?

AN: sorry the new obx pics that were posted inspired me to write an angsty af rafe fic also thinking about doing this same concept with JJ.

again, the rafe i write is not canon. he’s just a dick most of the time.

You weren’t friends with Rafe Cameron. There wasn’t any parallel universe where the two of you would be friends.

He despised you because you chose a life with the Pogues over a life with the Kooks. But he didn’t seem to have as big of a problem with Kie as he had with you.

You couldn’t figure out why he disliked you more than anyone on the island. You figured it had to do with the fact that he didn’t like the fact that everyone knew he slept with a Pogue.

Once upon a time, you lost your virginity to Rafe. After realizing how he acted towards you, you didn’t really know why. But at the time, you felt safe with him. Better him than some random tourist at a party.

But after you and Kie made the grand transition from Kook to Pogue, he never spoke to you again. And when he did, would he some mean and snarky comment that you tried not to let get to you. But a person can only take so much before the words start to stick.

—

You were at a Boneyard party with your friends, you and Kie talking about the upcoming beach cleanup the two of you were planning. You were minding your own business but you could feel a pair of eyes burning into the back of your head.

“Dude, $500 you can’t get Y/N to go out with you and stay with her for 6 months.” Topper bet the older boy. “$500? That’s it? To get Y/N to go out with me?” Rafe laughed. “Yeah, it should be an easy $500 right?” Topper asked.

Rafe thought about it for a moment, deciding if he was really that bad of a person to lead you on like that. He didn’t really hate you as much as he said. He was just hurt that you felt he wasn’t good enough to stick around for.

“It’s a bet. $500 in 6 months.” Rafe finally said. The two Kooks shook hands and Rafe’s fixation landed on you.

You were standing with Kiara by the fire, drinking your hand, clearly talking about something you were passionate about. Rafe noticed that whenever you talked about something you loved, you talked with your hands ten times more than you did normally.

He assumed you were talking about the ocean or something like that with how big your smile was.

Rafe then put on his asshole Kook facade and began to approach you. “Hey, Y/L/N!” He called. You took one look at him and instantly rolled your eyes.

“Can we help you?” Kie asked him. “I need to talk to Y/N. Alone if that’s not a problem with you.” Rafe sassed the girl. Kie looked at you, almost a nonverbal way of asking if you’d be okay alone.

You gave her a small nod and she reluctantly walked away. “What do you want, Rafe?” You sighed. “Go out with me.” He said. “What?” You questioned. “Go out with me. We can go somewhere on the mainland or somewhere local. Wherever you like.” He explained.

You couldn’t help but let out a small laugh before you realized he wasn’t joking. “You’re serious?” You asked. “Yeah, I’m serious.” Rafe answered. “Sorry if I have a hard time believing you want to go out with me after you’ve treated me.” You said.

“I was a dick. I’ll make it up to you. Just give me a chance.” Rafe replied. You looked at him for a moment, being very wary about the whole offer. “Okay. One date and if I even so much as a sense a stupid practical joke, I’m out.” You finally said.

Rafe smiled down at you before slowly backing up. “Great. I’ll pick you up, Friday at 6.” He said.

You had no idea what just happened. Rafe Cameron asked you out? And he actually seemed to mean it?

And to say the date went well was a total understatement for both you and Rafe. You both had an amazing time together, exploring the mainland and not having to worry about the Kook v. Pogue prejudice.

In the 6 months Rafe had been with you, he soon realized there wasn’t a single thing he didn’t love about you. He loved how you would dance around to your indie and alternative music as if no one was watching.

How you dragged him to the beach to watch the baby turtle eggs hatch. Even though he said he didn’t want to, he’d go anywhere if you asked.

Rafe also loved how you loved life in general. You didn’t care about the class system on the Outer Banks, you just cared about the people you loved. Your dad, your brother, the Pogues, and now Rafe.

Which made him feel even worse about the bet. It was nearing 6 months and Rafe knew he couldn’t just end it with you. He knew how that would hurt you. So he called Topper and asked him to call the whole thing off.

“Maybe we should just end the whole thing. You can have your money and we can call it off.” Rafe said over the phone.

“You aren’t going soft are me now are you?” Topper mocked. “No, I’m just saying this bet is stupid. It’s too easy now.” Rafe lied. “I’ll double it. $1,000 if you can make it to 6 months with Y/N.” Topper said.

Rafe hadn’t known you were going to come over so early so he thought he had time to talk to Topper. But you were standing out in the hallway in front of his door, listening to the whole thing.

“Wow, $1,000. Only an idiot would turn that down.” You sneered. Rafe turned around with wide eyes before quickly hanging up the phone. “H-How much did you hear?” He asked. “All of it.” You answered. “So you asking me out that night was a stupid bet? And our entire relationship has been a lie?” You asked, your voice raising.

“No, Y/N, let me explain.” Rafe pleaded. “Why should I? I think you and Topper explained everything perfectly. I knew I shouldn’t have trusted you. I’ve just been a huge joke you and your friends could laugh about.” You said.

Rafe began to walk towards you but you talking a couple steps back made it very clear you didn’t want him coming near you.

“We’re done, Rafe. I hope you enjoy the money.” You said sadly before you left his bedroom. When you walked into the hall, you saw Sarah standing a little ways away, but you knew she heard everything. “Did you know?” You asked her. “Of course not. I had no idea he was doing this for money.” She answered.

“Everything was a lie. I-I really thought he cared about me.” You spoke quietly, the tears welling up in yours eyes.

Sarah frowned and pulled you into a warm embrace. She couldn’t help but feel guilty since it was her brother who was causing you so much pain. “I know we were supposed to hang out tonight but I think Im just gonna head home.” You said.

She didn’t want you driving home in the state you were in but she also knew that you being alone was what was best for you.

When you arrived home, you avoided your father’s questions like they were the plague and made a b-line for your bedroom. But even then you couldn’t escape Rafe’s presence because everything reminded you of him.

For weeks after you are Rafe broke up, you were a bit different. You didn’t really feel like yourself because you didn’t know what was real anymore. Finding out about the bet made you question everything and your self esteem took a pretty big hit.

But you were good at faking it for the most part. You still hung out with the Pogues as if nothing was wrong.You went out to Boneyard parties, hung out with Kie, surfed with JJ, went shopping with Sarah. But you could only pretend so much.

You were sitting on your surfboard in the water, JJ floating next to you as you two waited for a wave.

“JJ, can I tell you something?” You asked him. “Of course, Y/N.” He said. “Rafe and I broke up. Apparently I was nothing but a cash grab for him.” You confessed. “What? What do you mean, cash grab?” He asked. “I was just a bet. Apparently Topper bet him $500 to go out with me and make it 6 months. I guess he was calling Topper to call off the bet but he offered him $1,000. I haven’t told anyone, only Sarah knows.” You explained.

“You know he’s a moron, right? You’re not even worth $500, you’re priceless, Y/N and don’t let Rafe and his dickhead friends make you think any differently.” JJ said.

You could tell that telling him the truth really riled him up but he never fought with Rafe for the sake of you. Your friendship was more important than wanting to knock Rafe flat on his ass.

“What are you going to do?” JJ asked. “I don’t know. I’m having a very hard time believing he faked everything the past 6 months but Rafe is pretty convincing when he wants to be. But am I really that stupid to think he actually cared about me?” You answered.

“No, that doesn’t make you stupid. And what I’m about to say I will never admit to saying but what if Rafe actually did care about you? I mean, everyone knows his dad is always on his ass about money and he was going to turn it down for you.” JJ said.

You sat quietly for a moment, watching the stillness of the water before looking back to JJ. “Are you saying I should talk to him?” You asked. “I’m saying maybe you owe yourself that much.” He answered. “Since when the hell did you become so insightful? Usually you’d tell me to beat him up or smash his car.” You laughed.

“Well, this time I just want you to be happy. And as much as I hate to say it, he made you very happy.” JJ said. “I really don’t like it when you’re right.” You muttered.

After a couple more minutes, you and JJ headed back to the beach and when you got there, Rafe was standing on the sand a few feet away from the shore line.

You slowed your pace slightly as you made eye contact with him. You readjusted your grip on your board as you and JJ kept walking. “Y/N, hey, can I talk to you?” Rafe asked uncomfortably.

You and JJ had never seen Rafe look less confident before until that moment. “JJ, I’ll meet you back at the Chateau.” You told the blonde. JJ nodded his head but not before giving Rafe a suspecting look as he walked away.

“You wanted to talk?” You asked him. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Y/N. I should’ve never taken that stupid bet in the first place. I-I guess I was holding a grudge against you before.” He said. “For what? I never did anything to you, Rafe.” You asked. “You left me. You chose the Pogues and the Cut over me. We were always friends before and then you and Kiara just decided it wasn’t good enough anymore. That I wasn’t good enough.” He explained.

“I didn’t choose the Pogues because of you, Rafe, or over you. Figure 8 is toxic and everyone we used to hang out with was terrible and I couldn’t do that anymore. You were the one who froze me out after we slept together. Let’s not also forget that you faked our entire relationship.” You rebutted.

“No, no, Y/N, I didn’t fake anything. Everything we had was real. You have no idea how it easy was to fall for you because you are amazing and I-I messed it up. I hurt you and I know it’s not going to make it better, but I’m sorry.” Rafe said.

You pushed your board into the sand before sitting down in front of it and motioned for Rafe to do the same.

“I was falling in love with you, Rafe. So to hear you and Topper just use me for your own sick enjoyment, broke my heart.” You started. “I defended you to everyone to just find out that they were right.” You finished. “You said ‘was.’ Like past tense.” Rafe spoke quietly.

You swallowed the lump in your throat as you stared at the sunset. “I wish we could just move on, forget it ever happened but I don’t think we can.” You said.

Rafe’s body stiffened and he hung his head low, not liking where the conversation was going.

“But, we can start over. Clean slate.” You added. The boy looked up at you, almost as if he thought you were kidding. “Really?” He asked. “Yeah, really. But, on a few conditions.” You said. “Anything, I will do anything.” He said. “You leave my friends alone. He’s going to kill me for saying this but JJ was actually the one who told me we should talk so you kind of owe him. Second, you let me punch Topper, very very hard.” You told him.

Rafe laughed lightly at your words as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder. “Sounds like a plan.” He said. “Also, give me your phone.” You said. Rafe took his phone out of his pocket and gave it to you.

He looked over your shoulder to see what you were doing as you opened the Venmo app.

You pressed ‘pay and request’ and put Topper’s user name in.

@TopperThornton: Pay $1,000

Summary: congrats, i lost the bet. Y/N is worth so much more. she’s also gonna kick your ass

“Couldn’t have said it better myself.” Rafe commented. You hummed in response, resting your head on his shoulder. Rafe pressed a light kiss on your forehead as the two of you watched the sunset together.

#Outer Banks #outer banks imagine #rafe cameron #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron x reader #drew starkey #drew starkey imagine #jj maybank #john b routledge #kiara carrera #pope heyward #sarah cameron #topper thornton #imagine

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shoutaaizawas · 4 years

Note

hii :) can i request shoto with either a college au or fake dating au with the prompt “kiss me again” FLUFF FLUFF FLUFF (nfsw if it flows and ONLY if you want) please

thank you for the request! i always forget how much i like writing todoroki. im sorry but i don’t do nsfw but please take my offering of a kissing scene haha

↳ todoroki shoto x reader → ❝all-nighter❞

event: au!prompts summary: you never expected to become friends with shoto todoroki but when you need to share a book for a project due in the morning you end up bonding. word count: 1,939 tags/warnings: fluff, incident with a creepy guy at a party, comfort, first kiss a/n: i don’t know what college is like bear with me. thanks to @lilli-chae for the college insight. also im giving myself a reward for writing and posting before ten at night lol

Todoroki Shoto was the last person you ever expected to befriend. He was a rich boy from a rich family and those were people you usually tried to steer clear of. He was always silent, if someone asked you what he sounded like you wouldn’t be able to answer them. And he always stared, it wasn’t in a creepy way like some guys but it still unsettled you. You had a few classes with him but had only heard a few words from him.

The first time you ran into him he was lost on campus. It was oddly endearing, the sight of him standing there looking around confused. You asked him where he was going and it happened to be the same class as you. He hadn’t said much except for a ‘thank you’ once you reached the class.

It wasn’t until one night at the library that you started to see him differently. You had a project due the next day. Had you received it weeks ago? Yes, but in your defense, you had a lot of other projects. Okay, maybe you had procrastinated too much. It was late and you needed a specific textbook for the assignment. With your ice coffee in hand, you made your way to the library ready to pull an all-nighter.

As you reached for the book you were already so exhausted you hadn’t realized that someone else was reaching for it at the same time.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” You said looking up only to see Todoroki.

“Sorry.” He said, looking sheepish.

“I’ll grab another copy-” As you looked at the shelf you realized there was only one. “Oh.”

“My project is due tomorrow, otherwise I would offer to use it after you.” He said.

“Mine too.” You said. “We could share it if you don’t mind.”

“That seems like the best option.” He agreed.

The two of you set up at a table big enough for both of you to spread out. It turns out you had the same topic for the same class.

“So do you procrastinate a lot too?” You said trying to break the ice with some humor.

“Not normally.” He said but didn’t elaborate.

“I wish I could say the same but this happens to me more than I’d like to admit.” You said. “You can use it first, I have to get it started before I need the information.”

Shoto nodded and took the book before getting to work.

It was surprising how likable Shoto was once he opened up. He was a bit stiff and awkward but he was really funny and very considerate. You felt bad judging him on his family status. He was nothing like the rich brats you had encountered in the past.

The two of you would take breaks, you would offer him snacks, and most likely due to the sleep exhaustion, you shared a lot of personal stories. His family was something else. The more you got to know him all the pieces of who he was fit together.

The last thing you expected was to wake up with your head on his shoulder in the library the next morning.

“Shoto.” You said nudging him awake. You looked at your phone, you had less than ten minutes to get to class for your presentations. “Wake up we have to hurry.” You said.

Shoto’s different colored eyes opened and looked at you in confusion before he realizes where he was.

The two of you quickly scrambled to pick up all of your stuff and run to class. Thankfully everything had been pretty much done before you fell asleep but you were upset you wouldn’t be able to grab a coffee to wake you up before class.

Since that night you considered Shoto a friend. You would study together sometimes and grab a coffee or lunch between classes. You found yourself confiding in him and he did the same with you.

“When did you and our school’s prettiest boy become best friends?” Your friend Mina asked.

“I think best friend is a bit strong, we just barely started hanging out.” You said.

“Well, best friend was me going easy on the teasing. The real question is when did you capture his icy heart?” Mina teased.

“Wow, okay. There has been no capturing of icy hearts.” You defended as your face heated up. Sure, Shoto was handsome and you liked his personality a lot but that didn’t mean you had a crush on him and you knew there was no way he would have a crush on you.

“Have you seen the way he looks at you?” She questioned.

“Yeah, he looks at me like he does everyone else.” You said.

“If that’s what you want to tell yourself,” Mina said throwing her hands up.

“It is what I’ll be telling myself.”

You did your best to push Mina’s words away but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t try to sneak glances at the way Shoto looked at you. Was his gaze softer when he looked at you? It had to just be your mind making it up.

It was a Friday night and that meant parties. Normally you were more of a stay at home and play video games and eat snacks kind of person but your friends wanted to go out and it had been a while so you agreed.

You ended up at a party on campus, it felt like almost everyone from school was there. You found yourself looking for one person in particular but you couldn’t spot him. Your heart sank a little bit, one of your motivations for going out was the hope that you would see Shoto.

You hadn’t meant to drink that much, you really didn’t have that many drinks but your tolerance wasn’t the greatest. You were having a good time, dancing with your friends. That was until some guy grabbed at you. Instinctually you hit him across the face gaining most people’s attention.

“Did he touch you?” A familiar voice said, your classmate Bakugou stood at your side in an instant with an intimidating glare. He was a bit over the top but underneath it all, he was a nice guy. Mina hung out with his group a lot and you had tagged along at times.

“Yeah.” You nodded. You didn’t have to say another word before Bakugou was dragging him out of the party, his friends Kirishima, Denki, and Sero following along. Mina rushed to your side pulling you out of the party in the opposite direction.

“Are you good?” She asked.

It was nice, the cool air of the night. Your head had been spinning but the ordeal had sobered you up a lot.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” You told her.

“What happened?” A concerned voice interrupted. Shoto approached with concern on his face.

Mina explained what had happened and you saw an anger in Shoto you hadn’t seen before. He moved to the direction he assumed Bakugou had taken the man but you grabbed his arm.

“Can you get me out of here?” You asked him. You didn’t want him getting involved, this had been bad enough. You just wanted to pretend it hadn’t happened.

“Of course.” He said before looking to Mina. She nodded and Shoto placed his had between your shoulder blades and guided you away. “Are you hungry?”

“I could eat.” You answered.

The two of you ended up in a 24/7 diner not too far away. Sitting down in a booth under the fluorescent lights you already felt better just being in Shoto’s presence.

It was quiet. You ordered water and chicken strips. You weren’t sure what to say, you didn’t want to talk about what had happened and Shoto seemed upset.

“I should have been there sooner.” He finally said. “My father called me, held me up.”

Was he blaming himself for not being there?

“Shoto, it’s not your fault. It’s no one’s fault. I’m just happy that I got to see you tonight and to be honest hanging out here is a lot better than at that loud house.”

Shoto sighed but his expression softened.

“I’m glad I’m getting to spend time with you too.” He said.

After that the mood was more relaxed, you talked about different things and laughed at Shoto’s jokes. Once you were done eating Shoto paid for your food, refusing to let you do so before he walked you back to the dorm you shared with Mina.

“Do you want to stay for a bit?” You asked.

“Aren’t you tired?” He asked.

“I don’t want to be alone.” You admitted quietly.

Shoto walked in without a word. You sat on your bed opening up your laptop putting on something to watch before placing it on the table beside your bed. Shoto hesitantly joined you, sitting beside you leaving some space.

In retrospect you probably had a little leftover liquid courage from your drinks earlier when you scooted over closer to him, your leg pressed against his. Or maybe you just needed the comfort of having someone you trust close.

It was nice. The sound of Shoto’s soft breathes, the warmth that came from him, the way his arm brushed against yours. It was all comforting and helped the tenseness in your body melt away.

Before you could stop yourself you rested your head against his shoulder, you tensed for a moment waiting for a reaction but Shoto said nothing. A few moments later you were shocked when he took your hand in his softly. You couldn’t stop yourself from looking up at him. His soft gaze was already on you.

It felt unavoidable, unstoppable, the need to lean up and press your lips against his. At that moment you didn’t think of any consequences the action could have. It just felt right. Shoto didn’t pull back, rather he leaned forward meeting you halfway. His right hand cupped your cheek, you felt so small in his grip. His left hand moved to your waist pulling you closer.

After a moment you pulled back to take a breath.

“Kiss me again,” Shoto said. You smiled at him and leaned in again. You adjusted yourself so you could wrap your arms around him, holding him close. It felt unreal. How could things change so quickly in one moment? In one second Shoto was your friend who you may or may not have a crush on and in the next you were kissing him wondering how you could ever lie to yourself.

How could you not like Shoto? He was so good to you, so interesting in every way. Every day your thoughts drifted to him whether you tried to stop them or not. You couldn’t get him out of your head. When you saw a cute dog you thought ‘I bet Shoto would like to see this dog.’ When you ate at a new place you thought ‘I think Shoto would like the food here.’

How had you convinced yourself you didn’t like him?

“I really like you.” You said pulling back again but keeping your hold on each other.

“I really like you too.” He whispered against your lips, looking deeply into your eyes. “Go on a date with me. Please.”

“How can I say no?” You smiled before kissing him again.

“Hey, how are you doing?” Mina’s voice filled your dorm room as the door opened. You and Shoto froze as Mina stared. “Nevermind, looks like you’re doing great.” She said before shutting the door and leaving.

“I’m never gonna hear the end of it from her.” You sighed.

#todoroki x reader #shoto x reader #todoroki shoto x reader #shoto todoroki x reader #bnha #mha #mha x reader #bnha x reader #todoroki shoto #my writing #au prompts #atruebalance #sfw

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brelione · 4 years

Text

Barry as A Father

Request by @popeheywards

If it were anyone else he wouldve just ignored the situation and pretended it didnt exist

But because it was you he was willing to change his life and stay around

“I swear to god-what the fuck-no,no-nope!Out!Away from the area!Smoke in the air-Im not gonna be responsible for that kid growing eight arms!”He shouted, holding his blunt far back.

“What are you doing?You cant drink that!”He took the mug of coffee away from you. “I read that you cant have caffeine when pregnant-I wont allow this on my porch.”He shook his head.

He was pretty bummed about the no sex rule but then you reminded him that you could still give him blow jobs

Him holding your hair when you’re vomiting

He’s got a bag ready for the hospital

Clothes, phone chargers, snacks, tissues

My mans is ready

But then the time comes that your water breaks and all hell breaks loose

It doesnt help that Rafe is over

“OH MY GOD ITS LEAKING-RAFE GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT!” “OH MY GOD!”He was freaking out.You were just standing there, staring at him.

He grabbed the bag and got you into the car, forgetting the way to the hospital

“LEFT OR RIGHT?”He shouted. “LEFT!”You shouted back, tugging at your hair.

“MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!”he shouted, pulling you along. “Sir-sir-sir!I understand-theres no need to shout.”The woman at the front desk sighed, having you put into a wheelchair. “IF WE DONT HURRY UP HE’S GONNA FALL OUT!”He shouted, following into the delivery room.

They ask if he wants to cut the umbilical cord and its a no from him

With his shaky ass hands????

He’s just glad its over

His hand is all bruised from you squeezing it so hard

Forehead kisses once they’ve taken the baby to get cleaned off

His heart stops when you’re holding the baby, his eyes widening

This was real life

He’s sitting in the chair next to the bed, about to cry

He’s staring at the baby, trying to figure out what part of face looked like his

He had Barry’s nose for sure

He’s absolutely terrified to hold the baby because he’s positive he’s gonna drop it

But then hes holding the baby and its insane.He kisses his forehead, watching it blink.He never thought he’d get this far in life that he’d have a baby and a wonderful girlfriend.

You have to stay in the hospital for a week because it took so long to pick a name for the boy

And Rafe makes an appearance at the hospital because he’s grown close to you during your pregnancy

Thats how he had been paying Barry for the past nine months.Baby clothes, diapers, formula, pacifiers, bottles, a crib and toys.

He pretty much moves into your house so that he can spend as much time with Gio as possible

Giovanni Jonathan Well wasnt exactly what you thought you’d be naming your first child but thats just how things happened

Barry was really good at changing diapers in the middle of the night

It was annoying but he knew how exhausted you were from giving birth

He only went to the trailer for work and would only be gone for a little bit

He had a shit ton of money from his work, now having people call him on a work phone to plan when they’d be coming over so that it didnt interfere with the baby’s schedule.

The two of you trying to teach G.J colors but always getting distracted by other things

Barry started crying when he learned how to walk

He spent a long time in the bedroom with G.J one morning, trying to teach him

“Can you saw mama?”Barry asked, eyes widening when G.J repeated the word, some drool sliding down his chin as he said it

He ran out into the kitchen with G.J at his hip

“Say it again, G.”Barry grinned when his son repeated the word, seeing the big smile on your face.

Sitting in the living room and watching Disney+ with G.J

“Captain Merica!”G.J giggled, pointing to the tv.

Somehow Rafe ended up bonding with the baby, becoming ‘uncle Rafe’ really quick

He’d stay with G.J when you and Barry went grocery shopping or out to get coffee

He was that one dad that took photos at every possible moments

If G.J was eating he had to take a picture

If G.J was playing with legos he had to take a picture

Once G.J can finally be in school you and Barry are both sad but also kind of relieved that you can finally get a break

He can aslo fuck you without risking waking up G.J

And you can be as loud as you want

Picking up G.J from school and helping him with his homework

Its usually just a coloring page but sometimes he’ll have to circle a word or two

Barry makes sure to help G.J in every way that he can, making sure that he feels loved because Barry had ✨daddy issues✨

You and Barry forming your own system where you go grocery shopping on wednesdays, he picks up G.J on mondays, wednesdays and fridays and only does his work at night

Never letting G.J find out what Barry does

Family Beach days

“Giovanni Jonathan Well- you will get sunburned if you dont put on sunscreen.”Barry warned, handing him the bottle.

G.J’s hair was long and dark like Barry’s and whenever he crossed his arms or scratched his nose he looked exactly like Barry

You and G.J making fun of Barry’s reading glasses

When G.J was twelve you became pregnant again, sighing as you stared at the test.

“BARRY!”You shouted from the bathroom. “YEAH?”He shouted back, putting down his book and waiting for you to answer. “IM PREGNANT!”You shouted back, flushing the toilet.He sighed, smacking himself in the face with his palm. “AGAIN?”He asked.

@outerbongs @copper-boom @httpstarkey @teenwaywardasgardian @drewswannabegirl @simonsbluee @jiaraendgame @khiaraaa-in-spacee @on-socks-off @abbiesthings @kindahavefeelingskindaheartless @i-love-scott-mccall

#barry outerbanks #barry obx #barry x reader #barry #barry x reader nick cirillo #outerbanks #obx #outerbanks fan #outerbanks fanfic #obx fanfiction

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neocityarchive · 5 years

Text

blind love | l.m.k.

— in which mark lee is so much more than just your best friend but you were too blind to realize it.

word count: 7.2k | warnings: light swearing | blind love - lola young |

a/n: i didnt mean for it to be this long but i hope you enjoy!!!

“Just friends,” Mark said, his voice still steady even in the growing tension of the moment. “That’s all you said we are, right?”

Your head dropped down to look at your hands, not knowing what to say. The overbearing guilt of rejecting his sudden confession was crushing your chest that it became painful to breathe.

“I’m sorry, Mark,” was all you could say. You forced yourself to meet his gaze through your already glassy eyes, wanting to let him know the sincerity of your words.

He smiled kindly, shaking his head. There was sadness in his eyes. And in all the years you two have known each other, you could tell how hard he was trying to hide it. “It’s okay. That’s all we’ll be.”

You bumped your head repeatedly against your study table in an attempt to rid yourself of the memory that’s constantly been playing in your head.

It was a Sunday which meant there were no classes, which meant the university was closed, which meant that you couldn’t even make an excuse to see your best friend Mark who somehow, after almost three years of friendship, suddenly decided that it was a good idea to tell you he loves you more than a friend should love a friend.

You couldn’t say it happened out of nowhere. He’s been saying he has something important to tell you for almost two weeks before the incident but every time you confront him about it, he always makes up some lame excuse to dodge. It took a lot of self-hate for yourself and a nice amount of his protective instinct to finally make him spit it out.

He came to your apartment that night, finding you barefaced, wearing a pair of sweats and one of his hoodies that you stole some time ago. From that he already knew you weren’t okay. You like wearing his stuff to seek some sort of comfort. Somehow, the smell of his clothes helps calm you down.

You were supposed to help him finish a report but you couldn’t concentrate after getting a below satisfactory grade on a major exam. College has done nothing but give you a shitload of insecurities lately and this just pushed you off the edge. The only thing that has been keeping you sane was the knowledge that you had someone who you can run to at the end of the day. Someone who is willing to listen to your rants and would do almost anything to cheer you up.

That day, however, none of Mark’s usual encouragement worked on you. He was getting frustrated hearing you downplay yourself because of a single exam. You started going on about how stupid you felt, how staying up all night to study did nothing but make you ugly. Mark countered every insult you threw at yourself, throwing in a few jokes here and there, all of which you ignored. But when you went on about how all of this made you unworthy of anything, how no one could possibly love you in this state, he just couldn’t take it anymore.

“I love you,” he snapped, cutting you off from your long self-deprecating speech.

“You’re my best friend. You’re supposed to say that,” you whined, clearly missing the point.

Mark, on the other hand, was barely holding it all inside. He ran his hands through his hair and sighed. “No, idiot. I love you. Stop saying no one could love you, because I do. And not just because you’re my best friend.”

It wasn’t until you noticed his hands were quivering that you realized what he really meant. Looking back on it, you couldn’t help but hate yourself. You were sure it took a lot of his courage (and frustration) to come clean to you like that, and you couldn’t even take him seriously at first.

“Mark, no,” you remember telling him.

“I do. I hate that I do, but I do.” He looked away. “I love you and I know you’re feeling burdened right now, but you don’t have to say it back.”

A part of you broke that day. You hated rejecting people after having gone through several rejections yourself. It’s the worst feeling. You always wished there was a way you could always return people’s feelings just so no one would get hurt, but the universe just doesn’t work that way.

You muttered about a hundred sorries to which Mark replied a hundred ‘it’s okay’s. Maybe it was meant to make you feel better, but it just felt like your heart was getting ripped off your chest.

Mark didn’t stay long after that. You didn’t even get to help him with his report. He said sorry for suddenly dropping the L-word and you said sorry for not being able to say it back. He smiled sadly and it took your everything not to cry. He asked if he could hug you and you didn’t even answer. You just went straight into his arms, burying your head in his chest like you’ve done so many times before, breathing heavily to keep yourself from breaking down. And when the two of you pulled away, he insisted on being alone for a while. You said okay followed by another sorry.

You didn’t know “being alone for a while” meant ignoring you for god knows how long. You see him at uni but he wouldn’t even meet your eye. Even when you share the same class, he would choose to sit as far from you as possible. Once, he entered a cafe you were in and upon seeing you inside, he immediately turned around and walked away.

He’s ignoring you and he isn’t even being subtle about it. Mark Lee could never be subtle about anything, not even his feelings. You really were just too blind to realize anything.

Even other people saw how he felt. People used to come up to you all the time and ask about your “boyfriend” Mark. Sure, you would blush, shy that people thought you’re in a relationship with your best friend. When you explain that you weren’t actually dating, you would get the same shocked reaction every time. One of your friends even said you acted more like a couple than most people in a relationship do. You always thought it was just because you and Mark were such good friends.

“Friends don’t hold hands in public,” you remember Renjun saying.

“We don’t hold hands. He just grabs me and drags me to places,” you said defensively.

“And they don’t hug each other and stare at each other’s eyes while talking about pizza,” Jaemin scoffed.

You just rolled your eyes at them. It never crossed your mind that maybe they were right. You and Mark have never acted like how friends should. Maybe it’s the reason why you’re in this mess after all.

You sighed to yourself. You miss him. You can’t even pretend that you don’t. He’s become such a huge part of your everyday life that you couldn’t just ignore the sudden empty space he left when he said he wanted to be alone. You know he needed time to be by himself. But a part of you keeps holding on to his promise that even after his confession, you two would still be friends. And friends text each other, right? So all your attempts at communication depended on just that.

Thursday, 5:31 PM

You: wanna go watch a movie? i’ll buy the tickets.

Mark: cant. i have an exam tomorrow. sorry :/ maybe next time?

You: oh. okay. goodluck on your exam :)

Friday, 2:21 AM

You: [photo] this is possibly the cutest cat photo i’ve seen in awhile

Mark: that’s cute but dogs are still cuter

You: … okay?

Mark: go to sleep, y/n

Friday, 12:03 PM

You: i know you dont have class rn. have lunch w me?

Mark: oh i already ate with jaemin. sorry!!

You: it’s okayyyy :>> i’ll see u later? it’s friday night sooo we can hang out.

Mark: idk the boys already asked me to go out tonight

You: oh okay have fun!

Saturday, 6:54 PM

You: maaaark

Mark: y/nnn

You: [types] i miss you kajdhfhdksjdh [deletes]

You: nothing haha wanna grab some coffee?

Saturday, 7:01 PM

You: nvm haha have a nice nighhhttt

Sunday, 10:21 PM

You: hey can we talk

Mark: ???

You: please?

Mark: ye what about?

You: you said we’d still be friends

Mark: lol aren’t we?

You: this isn’t how friends talk to each other. i miss having an actual conversation with you.

You: we dont even see each other anymore.

Mark: i literally reply more to u than i do to jaem wdym haha

You: wow fine okay

Mark: ?????

You: i guess i deserve that haha

Mark: im tired y/n. night.

You: :( nighttt

You checked your messages for the nth time, reading everything as if something was gonna miraculously change with the cold conversation thread. Your fingers have been hovering over the keypad, typing and deleting ‘i miss you’ and ‘talk to me’ for about a hundred times already.

You don’t get why you can’t just say it. What’s so wrong with telling your best friend you miss him? Why is it so hard to press send? Why are you suddenly so afraid of how he would reply or if he would even reply at all?

It was only 10:30 in the evening. You know for sure Mark is only lying about going to sleep. He never sleeps this early unless he really is tired. He does nothing on Sundays so he can’t possibly be tired. Sundays are usually just the two of you hanging out in his apartment or yours, just to watch movies or study together. So what did he do today?

“Stop thinking about him,” you grumbled to yourself. “It’s just Mark. He’s a big boy, he can handle himself.”

But that’s not the point, a voice inside your head said. Just tell him you miss him.

You typed it again, ‘I miss you,’ but deleted it as soon as it was finished. Again.

You’ve spent everyday with Mark that it suddenly hurts to think he’s enjoying the time you usually spend together alone. It’s crazy how you can’t stop thinking about how his day went or if he’s okay or whether he’s eaten or not. You know how stubborn he can be. Sometimes, he’d get so engulfed in whatever he’s doing that he would accidentally skip meals unless you remind him otherwise.

“Fuck this,” you muttered to yourself. You figured you won’t ever be left at peace if you don’t do anything about whatever you’re feeling, so you decided to text Jaemin.

Sunday, 10:52 PM

You: jaeeem hi :)

Jaemin: y/n!!!!! hello :>

You: sorry for bothering you but have you talked to mark lately?

Jaemin: im talking to him rn haha why? you want me to ask him something?

You: not really hahaha how is he?

Jaemin: haha why not ask him yourself

You: he doesnt wanna talk to me lol pls just answer

Jaemin: he’s stubborn as always. he wont listen to me.

You: why, what’s he doing?

Jaemin: idk but it’s definitely not talking to you ksjdjkd

You: … very funny

Jaemin: sorry lmaooo he’s running on an hour or two of sleep everyday

You: jaemin!! why won’t you scold him?

Jaemin: we do! he just doesn’t listen. u know he only listens to you.

Jaemin: idk why you guys still arent together lmao bunch of idiots tbh

You: we’re just friends

Jaemin: rlly? oh btw mark hyung is looking for his save the bees shirt. did u see it anywhere?

You: yeah he left it here like two weeks ago when he slept over

Jaemin: LMAOOO DOESNT SOUND LIKE FRIENDS TO ME CHIEF

You: i fckingskjfhfn hate you

Jaemin: HJSJSHHDJD ok but seriously tho mark hyung is fine. just give him time, he’ll come around.

Jaemin: he misses you but u didnt hear it from me

Jaemin: ok bye he’s getting suspicious now lol

You: idk how you’re both an angel and the devil at the same time

You: anw thanks jaem. dont tell him i asked about him lol byeee

You sighed, putting your phone down in surrender. Your mind was more of a mess now than it was before you talked to Jaemin. You hate that he makes sense especially about the weird, more-than-friendly dynamics of your relationship with Mark. But more importantly, your head was beginning to be overfilled with worry.

Mark runs on barely two hours of sleep everyday. No wonder he always looks so out of it whenever you see him in the hallway. You wanted to call him, to tell him that he should sleep already, to remind him that he shouldn’t overwork himself, that doing just enough is okay. But you know he doesn’t want to talk to you. The cold replies and the ‘????’ were more than enough to tell you that.

Still, you figured it was worth a try sending him a little reminder. So you grabbed your phone once again and typed a message, revealing a little more of your emotions than you intended to. And before you could even think twice about it, you hit send.

Sunday, 11:04 PM

You: hey i know you’re still not asleep. dont worry, you dont have to reply to me. i just wanna tell you that you should take care of yourself. i know you. you’re stubborn and sometimes you won’t sleep or eat unless someone reminds you to so,, this is me reminding you haha. stop overworking yourself mark, please? you cant be sick cause i cant take care of you since you wont talk to me… lol jk. but seriously, get more rest (and talk to me,, hahah jk again unless u wanna ;)) please go to sleep now. goodnight. see you around i guess.

You stopped texting Mark after that. You wondered if he would find the initiative to talk to you first if you didn’t start the conversation. Now, two days have passed and your sleep reminder remains to be the last message on your conversation thread. You couldn’t say it didn’t hurt. You were hoping for at least a small thanks but didn’t get anything at all.

You were starting to get more and more frustrated as the days went by. It’s so unfair that you are slowly losing your best friend because of this. It’s unfair that you can’t even be mad at him because you just broke his heart. You wished there was any way you could have changed what happened, but the past remains to be written.

That afternoon, you passed by one of the cafes you and Mark always go to. You went inside, suddenly craving their special banana muffin which he introduced to you some months ago. The owner recognized you right away as you came up to the cashier.

“You’re not with your boyfriend today?” she asked.

You felt your heart skip a beat and not in a good way. It hurt. You figured there was no use in explaining since she probably won’t believe that Mark is not your boyfriend so you just smiled sadly and answered, “No.”

The lady somehow talked you into buying two muffins so you can bring one to your “boyfriend.” After handing her your payment, you realized maybe that wasn’t such a bad idea. Mark always brings you stuff whenever you’re mad or upset. He knows exactly what you’re craving for even before you knew you were craving for it. Why not try if it works on him?

As soon as you headed out the cafe, you whipped your phone out to text Jaemin, asking if he knew where Mark was. It’s Tuesday, his most free day of the week so he could be anywhere. Jaemin replied not after five minutes.

Jaemin: not sure but he mentioned something about the library??

You: okay thank you!

From that, you knew exactly where Mark is. There was a small patio-like spot beside the library that he likes going to. Not a lot of people utilize the place since the tables and chairs are almost always filled with dried fallen leaves from the surrounding trees but Mark likes the thought of being close to nature.

That day though, there were more people around the area than usual. It was lunchtime so most people were out of the classrooms. Still, it wasn’t hard spotting Mark. It has never been much of a challenge finding him in a crowd of people. You saw him as soon as he came into view, sitting by the table on the corner under one of the ginkgo trees. He had his laptop open and a box of food beside it. His eyebrows furrowed in concentration one moment and then he was laughing the next.

You were about to make your way towards him but immediately stopped in your tracks when you realized he wasn’t alone.

You didn’t know who the girl was. You’ve seen her a lot of times in class and in the hallway. You even have a vague memory of Mark talking to her one time. But you never really bothered to learn her name. She had that soft, innocent look that goes so well with her shy smile. She had her hair tucked in her ears to show just enough of her pretty face. She was beautiful. Unconventionally but undeniably. But none of that mattered.

When she said something with a smirk and Mark let out his trademark laugh, nose scrunching, hand repeatedly hitting the table, shoulders shaking and all, it felt like something punched you in the stomach. He uttered something in reply and now both of them are clutching their sides for laughing too hard.

He looks happy, you thought, I should be, too.

But you aren’t. You continued watching their exchange, him showing her something on his laptop and both of them laughing once again. Your chest felt heavy, like something was sitting on it and now it hurts to breathe. You didn’t realize you’ve been clutching the plastic bag containing the muffin too hard until you felt the sting of nails digging on your palms. You knew you should look away but you couldn’t. You wanted to run towards him. You wanted to tell the girl to scooch over so you can sit beside Mark and give him his muffin.

This is pathetic. I should be happy for him, you said to yourself. But why am I not?

You wanted to be angry, to scream and say that it should be you he’s laughing like that with. To say that it’s you he should be spending his time with. You wanted to ask if he still feels the way he said he does about you. And if he does, then why this? But you remained glued to the ground.

You hated how you were being selfish. You rejected him, remember? So why do you expect him to follow your tails like an intoxicated mad dog? Why can’t you be happy at the possibility that he found someone that feels the same way he does? Why does it… hurt? It’s not supposed to. If you really are friends, then him being happy with someone after your rejection should make you happy as well. If you really are friends, then you shouldn’t be standing here looking stupid, watching them from afar, wishing he’s with you instead.

“What are you looking at?”

You jumped at the sudden disruption, almost dropping your muffins. “What the hell, Jaemin?!” you whined, finally looking away from Mark.

“Mark hyung and Mina?” he snorted.

So that’s her name. “No,” you lied, forcing yourself to take a step away, then another, then another.

“Are you jealous?” Jaemin teased. “Have you finally realized you’re also whipped for our hyung?”

“No,” you grumbled.

“Then why are you almost crying?”

You blinked. You didn’t even realize the tears pooling in your eyes. Why are you being like this? “Shut up. I’m not.”

Jaemin only shrugged. “Fine. Torture yourself, then.” He smirked. “By the way, Jeno and I are inviting people to our place this Friday after exams. Just some drinks and maybe karaoke, I don’t know. We all deserve a break from hell. Wanna come?”

You didn’t reply. Your mind was too preoccupied with other things.

“Mark hyung is coming,” he said. “Maybe Mina too.”

“I don’t wanna go,” you said immediately, suddenly coming up with a decision.

The boy laughed. “You are jealous! God, I love it when you prove yourself wrong. You shouldn’t be though. You already know he likes you.”

“I’m not jealous! Stop it,” you whined, really wanting to cry this time. Everything is so frustrating and Jaemin is not being of any help. You wanted to go home and just wrap yourself in your blanket and maybe one of Mark’s hoodies.

“Then come to our place this Friday. It’s gonna be fun.” He grinned.

“Fine. Whatever. Just get away from me, you little shit,” you said, kicking him lightly in the butt.

You didn’t know if it was a lie or not but if Mark really is seeing someone now, you just didn’t like the idea of seeing them flirt with each other in front of your eyes. Even the thought of it makes you want to pull all your hair out. Is that considered jealousy? If so, why are you feeling it for someone who’s supposed to be just a friend?

Thursday came and you found yourself crying after realizing the shirt you’ve been wearing the whole day was Mark’s. No wonder he looked surprised seeing you in the hallway. He looked away immediately though, acting as if you weren’t there. It didn’t even cross your mind since you use this shirt quite a lot.

After calming yourself down, you put your playlist on shuffle and cried some more after Friends by Ed Sheeran started playing. You didn’t even realize how fitting the song was for your situation until now. Mark probably did.

You remembered him singing that song once. The two of you were just lounging in his apartment. He was playing his guitar while you pretended to study when in reality you were just looking at him. You watched as his fingers plucked and strummed the guitar strings while he softly mumbled lyrics, head bobbing to the tune. He’s good. Unsurprisingly, since he’s good at everything.

When he realized you were staring at him, he turned his head slightly to meet your eyes, one side of his lips curling up into a smirk. “No, my friends won’t love me like you do,” he sang.

You looked away, your cheeks heating up almost immediately. It was hard to focus on your readings when he’s sitting right in front of you looking like that, singing like that. You sighed. He truly was never being subtle about how he felt.

After finishing the song, Mark put his guitar down and laid his head on your lap, not even bothering to ask if it’s okay. That’s how comfortable you were with each other.

“What are you doing?” You remember whining.

“Wake me up after 15 minutes,” he said, already closing his eyes. You took a photo of him that night. He’s cute when he’s asleep. Even cuter when you look at him up close.

Of course, you just had to search your camera roll to find the photo. When you did, it felt as if a storm was raging on your stomach and a gorilla was pounding on your chest. It never dawned to you just how much it hurts that he suddenly left you alone until that moment.

“Goddamn, I miss you so much,” you muttered, looking at his peaceful expression in the photo.

And then you cried some more. You feel lost.

All you wanted to do was curl up in his arms and inhale his scent and listen to how his day went (and maybe accidentally fall asleep together). It sucks because you really had no one else to turn to. The single person who has always been your safe place doesn’t want to talk to you and even if he did, you really wouldn’t know what to say. Perhaps friends really aren’t like that. The thought of everyone being right when they said that maybe you and Mark were never really just friends has never been stronger than it was tonight.

Still, you couldn’t be bothered to sort your feelings out.

He feels like home, you thought. It was the best way to explain the sense of comfort and safety and the feeling of being more than enough that he provides you. It’s the only thing you can think of when your mind drifts to how he is always the constant person that you run to at the end of the day. But friends can feel like home, too, right?

Not to this extent. Not really.

Friday. You found yourself aimlessly roaming around the neighborhood after your classes in the hopes of distracting yourself from your feelings or whatever the hell they’re supposed to be called. You wouldn’t have remembered Jaemin’s party if you didn’t happen to pass by their apartment building.

You stood in front of it for two solid minutes, contemplating whether to go or not.

Mark might be there, you thought. With everything that’s going on in your head and with all the mess happening in your chest, would it really be a good idea to see him? You thought maybe all these things you’re feeling are just a result of missing him. All these sadness and confusion might just be because you miss your best friend.

So you entered the building. You told yourself that you’ll try talking to him again this time, no matter how stubborn he’s going to be. And if it still doesn’t change anything, then you will take it as a sign to let him go. If not forever, then at least for now.

You reached the door to Jaemin and Jeno’s apartment. Even from the outside, the sound of the bass can already be heard. You wondered how long before the neighbors would file a complaint against them, but knowing Jaemin and Jeno, their neighbors are probably inside, partying with them right now.

Before entering, you looked down on your chest just to make sure you were wearing your own shirt and not Mark’s. It didn’t feel right wearing his stuff anymore. God, it really felt like you just broke up. Why is it like this?

You took a deep breath and opened the door. There were already a lot of people inside even if it was just 8 in the evening. Most of them, you know the faces of. You smiled to greet some and muttered a hi to others.

Renjun spotted you as soon as you came into the living room. “Y/N!” He grinned, handing you a cup of god knows what. “Jaemin said he invited you but we were all pretty sure you were gonna ghost us. But you didn’t!”

You laughed hesitantly. “Thanks, I guess?”

“Drink up. It’s a cocktail I made myself,” he said proudly, almost forcing the cup into your mouth.

You took a sip, figuring it won’t do any harm but you spat the liquid back to the cup as soon as it touched your tongue. “What the hell did you put in this?”

He shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t know. I just mixed in everything I could find. Thanks for trying it out though. I’ve been looking for a volunteer for five minutes already.”

You frowned. There were a lot of things you were unsure of at the moment but there is one thing that’s certain: you have weird friends. You were about to complain to Renjun when he plucked the cup from your grip and went on to find another victim, not even bothering to listen when you said you literally spat on the cup.

Mark didn’t seem to be anywhere. The apartment wasn’t that big so if he was here, it would be easy to spot him. Maybe he decided not to show up after knowing you were coming. And honestly, part of you was relieved. As much as you wanted to talk to him, you still didn’t know what to say.

I’m sorry I broke your heart, but I miss you so much and I did a lot of thinking and maybe we really shouldn’t be labeled as just friends but I don’t know if I love you, is that okay? That’s just stupid. This whole thing is stupid.

You wanted to leave. Parties have never really been your thing. You usually just go because Mark asked you to since he loves interacting with people. But you figured you needed some alcohol in your system, mainly as a distraction, but also to give you a boost of courage just in case. So you made your way to the kitchen, avoiding eye contact with anyone as much as possible.

You stopped in your tracks as you came to the kitchen. The sound of that laugh was all too familiar.

Great, you thought. Mark was there. And Mina was too. But so were Jeno and Jaemin who exchanged looks as soon as their eyes landed on you. They were all laughing about something before you came.

“You’re here!” Jaemin said a little too enthusiastically in a poor attempt to address the sudden increase of tension in the room.

“Hi,” you said, smiling sheepishly, purposefully avoiding Mark’s gaze which you could feel boring into you. “Just gonna get a drink.”

“Help yourself,” Jeno said. Jaemin smirked beside him.

The refrigerator was just beside Mark. Just great, you thought again. You walked towards it, desperately trying to ignore the four pairs of eyes following your every move.

“Excuse me,” you muttered, still not looking at your best friend.

Mark took a step sideways before opening the fridge for you. You muttered a quick thanks before grabbing the first bottle your hands landed on, not even bothering to check what it was. You really just wanted to get out of there. Maybe the talking to Mark plan was flawed from the beginning because you clearly can’t find the courage in you to face him now.

Beside you, Mark clicked his tongue. He was so close that you could smell his perfume mixed with a bit of alcohol. It made your knees weak.

He took the bottle from your hand and put it back before grabbing a different one and handing it to you. “The other one had vodka. Vodkas give you a headache, remember?” he said in a slightly annoyed tone.

“Oh.” Your voice sounded small even to your own ears. Not gonna lie, you wanted to cry at that moment. “Thanks.”

You could hear Jaemin snickering behind you but you couldn’t bring it in yourself to care. You turned to everyone and said a quick goodbye before dashing out of the kitchen.

Your heart was beating hard and rapidly and not because you moved too fast. You didn’t know why but it hurt seeing Mark like that, like he was okay, like nothing changed with the two of you. It hurt knowing that even after everything, he still knows you the best.

You wanted to run. You wanted to disappear. But you couldn’t leave without passing by the kitchen. Somehow, you know someone in there would stop you. If not Mark, then definitely Jaemin. But you really wanted to be alone. So you resorted to the next best thing. You whipped your phone out and sent Jaemin a text.

You: thanks for inviting me to this party. now i feel like shit :D

Jaemin: IM SORRY BUT DONT LEAVE YET TF

You: i need to be alone and i cant leave without passing by the kitchen and seeing mark. so pls let me use your room for a while.

You: i wont do anything i promise. i just need to calm down.

Jaemin: fine but dont lock the door

You: okay thanks

The door to Jaemin’s room was at the other end of the apartment. You made your way through the noisy crowd, slipping from Renjun’s weird gimmicks when he tried to make you a victim once again, before finally reaching the quiet confines of Jaemin’s room.

The thin walls barely blocked the noise but at least there was no one else here. You sat at the edge of the bed and placed the beer bottle on the floor. You forgot you didn’t even manage to open it. So you just stared at your feet, trying to catch your breath even if you didn’t do anything. That heavy feeling on your chest was back again. It was now associated with being in Mark’s presence.

You started counting to ten to calm yourself down before burying your face on your palms, breaking down into sobs as soon as your forehead came in contact with your fingers. “God, why can’t I just…” you cried, “... admit it to myself already?”

You wanted to thrash around in the bed in frustration but you thought Jaemin didn’t deserve such a mess so you settled with getting up and lightly banging your head against the door. It’s a bad habit you do when you feel annoyed or frustrated. Mark has always been reminding you to stop before you hurt yourself.

Mark. Again. You groaned, hitting your head a little harder this time.

Someone knocked on the door making you stop. You took a step back, thinking you just imagined it. But there it was again.

“Someone’s here,” you said, trying to hide the sound of your voice breaking.

“I know. Can I come in?” It was Mark. There was no question.

Your heart started pounding on your chest once again. You wanted to tell him to go away but you couldn’t find it in yourself to do so.

He took your silence as a yes. He swung the door slightly and poked his head through the small opening. Your hands immediately flew to your face to hide the fact that you’ve been crying.

“You know, I came in here because I didn’t wanna see you when I pass by the kitchen if I leave then you come here making me look like a clown,” you said, your voice muffled by your hands.

Mark chuckled softly. “Why didn’t you wanna see me?”

You didn’t reply. Your face felt hot, not just because of the tears that just won’t stop falling but also because all the blood has come rushing to your cheeks.

Mark grabbed both your wrists and gently lowered your hands down, trying to see your face, but your head bent down as soon as it wasn’t covered. “Y/N, look at me,” he said, hands still on your wrists.

“No.”

“Are you crying?” The idiot crouched down to have a glimpse of your face making you whine and cover your face again. “Last I checked, I should be the one looking brokenhearted around here.”

“God I hate you,” you mumbled. “You ignored me for nearly four weeks and you come in here just to make fun of me.”

He let out an empty laugh. “Well, you did break my heart so…”

At that, you removed your hands from your face to look at him. You were going to say sorry but Mark had that smug look on his face that made you want to punch him. It was almost convincing if you weren’t so good at reading the real emotions in his eyes. His expression softened upon finally seeing you properly.

He looked away, not being able to hold your gaze either. That just confirmed how hard he was trying to keep up with the exterior he was showing everyone.

“I’m sorry,” you said, voice breaking.

He sighed. “I told you. It’s okay.”

“But it’s not,” you cried. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I didn’t realize how easy it was to misread what we had because let’s face it, we don’t act like ‘just friends.’ I’m sorry because I was too blind to see how you felt even when you weren’t really trying to hide it. I’m sorry because even though I rejected you, I was so selfish that I still wanted to keep you for myself without realizing that you probably needed to be away from me to move on. I’m sorry because…” you swallowed.

Mark was just looking at you, eyebrows slightly raised in anticipation of what you were going to say next. You missed him. You missed that cute face of his. You missed being in his presence. You missed his voice and his laugh and how he loves teasing you even if he probably feels like shit inside. You missed everything. Four weeks have been too long without each other. Four weeks is too long without your best friend. Four weeks is too long without your home. And that’s when you realized…

“... I can’t let you go. And I might be too late, but I’m sorry that I only just realized why.”

“Why?” he asked.

It was a simple question. Why? Yet it managed to carve out every single feeling you’ve ever felt for this boy. Every little moment he made you laugh. Every small heartbreak you get when he fails to keep his tiny promises. Every single night you ‘accidentally’ fell asleep next to each other. Every ounce of fulfillment you get when you finally convince him to sleep after a long day. Every goodnight. Every good morning. Everything.

“I love you,” you said. It sounded almost like an exhale.

For a moment, Mark didn’t reply. Your head immediately started swarming with unwelcomed thoughts. Maybe you were too late. You almost forgot about Mina who he seems to be having an excellent time with. Maybe he managed to move on within those four weeks. It’s possible, right? You had your chance and you missed it.

Finally, Mark let out a laugh, his head falling down to look at the floor. “I told you you didn’t have to say it back,” he said, voice soft.

You shook your head. “I’m not saying it because you said it first,” you said. “I realize this might be the worst timing but I just thought you should know you weren’t the only one being stupid enough to fall for their best friend. I was just too dumb to realize that that’s what it was.”

“Why would it be the worst timing?” He frowned.

You felt like crying again. You really wish you had some alcohol in your system right now. Why is this whole confession thing taking so long? “‘Cause you’re dating Mina? Or trying to. I don’t know. I tried not keeping tabs on you because our friends are assholes who wouldn’t stop teasing me. She’s pretty, by the way. You two look good together.”

Mark laughed again. It was raw and real this time, and god, the way your chest tightened in endearment at the sound was so pure. “You thought me and Mina are dating?”

“Aren’t you? I’ve seen you guys together a lot.” Well, once. But you tend to overestimate things.

“No!” He snorted. “Jaemin and I are trying to get her and Jeno together. If anything, she made me realize that we definitely aren’t just friends.”

“Really?” Now you just feel stupid. But what else is new? It’s all you’ve been feeling lately. Come to think of it, Mark and Mina didn’t even come close to how you two act with each other.

“Really,” he said. “Friends don’t stay at each other’s place and cuddle with each other just to fall asleep, Y/N. Besides, I said I love you, didn’t I? Did you really think that’s just gonna go away that quickly?”

“Mark, I can’t even sort my feelings out. How am I supposed to figure out how yours work?” You sighed.

“Fine. Just to be clear, I still love you. Even if you don’t, I love you,” he said, taking both your hands and placing it on his shoulder before putting his on your waist.

“But I do.”

“Say it then.”

“I love you. Even if you’re the dorkiest person I know, I love you.” Your fingers tangled themselves in his hair. You’ve run your hands through his hair so many times before. You wondered why it never crossed your mind that you liked doing it not because his hair is soft but because you were sucker for the domestic feeling of it.

Mark couldn’t stop himself from smiling that he had to bury his face at the crook of your neck. “I’m not used to this, sorry.”

“Me neither,” you laughed.

When he finally composed himself, he pulled away just enough to look at you. All those times you’ve stood this close before does not even compare to how it’s like right now. This is the perfect mix of feeling new but familiar.

“You have no idea how many mornings I fought the urge to kiss you whenever we wake up next to each other,” he said in a soft voice.

“Well, nothing’s stopping you know, is there?” you muttered, eyes fluttering to his lips.

You pulled Mark down by the neck as he pulled you closer to him, your lips finally connecting. The idea of kissing him isn’t new to you. There were so many times before that you’ve found yourself inches away from his face and slamming your lips together wouldn’t have been such a bad idea. But this is the first you actually kissed him yet he felt so familiar that you were almost sure you’ve done this a million times before. His lips were soft against yours that it made you weak in the knees. If he weren’t holding onto you like he was, you probably would’ve crumpled already.

The two of you pulled away, breathless.

“Wow,” he breathed. “That didn’t even come close to how I imagined it would feel like.”

You laughed. “This whole night didn’t come close to how I imagined it would be like. I thought you were gonna keep on ignoring me. And honestly, I wouldn’t know how to cope anymore because I really, really miss you already. So thanks for saving me.”

“Stop making me blush. I don’t know how I can possibly love you more than this.”

You rolled your eyes but you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling. This was only one of the very few times that the reality went better than your expectations. But then again, maybe you and Mark have always been meant to happen. It was happening even before you realized it was. And now that you finally managed to sort how you both felt, there was no more wasting chances.

“Do I still have to ask you to be my girlfriend?” he asked.

“We’ve literally slept in the same bed so many times. I’d be more surprised if we’re not dating already,” you joked.

Mark grinned. “You’re literally the only one who didn’t realize that until today, but it’s okay, I still love you.”

You laughed. “Wanna go outside and pretend we didn’t make up? I’m 100% sure Jaemin betted on us.”

“I worry how your mind works sometimes, Y/N,” Mark said with a frown before kissing you on the forehead. “But let’s do it.”

You smiled. You’ve said it a lot but you really missed this proximity. You missed being able to hug him whenever you want, and now you can kiss him whenever you want too. You wanted to say you could get used to this, but the thing is… you already are.

#y/n is a clown here read at your own risk #BUT PLS ENJOY CAUSE I DID #dhjdkjfhdfk i should stop writing about mark #nct au #nct imagines #mark lee imagines #mark lee #nct mark au #nct prompts #nct blurbs #soft nct hours #sad nct hours #nct fluff au #nct angst au #nct dream au #nct 127 au

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gwoongi · 4 years

Text

wordless pt.3

jeon jeongguk / reader genre: hitman (john wick au), sugar daddy au, angst rating: mature words: 3.5k warnings: toxic relationships, non graphic sex a/n: im sleepy but hey im also rly glad bts made a statement about the blm movement :D

Sometimes, saying “I love you” is inappropriate, and given your circumstances, you think it might send Jeongguk over the edge if he hears them again.

Parts: One, Two, Three, Four, Five

(21) Sharing your umbrella with them in the rain.

“Yeah, I did, I submitted it on Thursday. What do you mean, did it get a good mark, it’s only Monday.” As you near the front windows of the building, you sigh and stare at the gloomy clouds presented behind the glass. Korea is cold and wet and dark today. “Fuck, rain. Anyway, I’ll call you later, Eunji, okay?”

Eunji agrees and hangs up the phone before you get the chance to, and you’re left in the cool shadow of the largest cloud in the sky. From nine until eleven, you have a morning class on Monday; today, due to request from at least five students confused by the essay title that was due on Friday evening, the class ran for an additional hour and a half, all of the subject material covered with a general extension for the following Fri. Typical, as you rushed it to hand it in before submission.

“Not going home, Y/N?”

You suck your top teeth with disappointment, “Not yet, Professor, I need to make a call.”

The slim professor arrives at your elbow, “Boyfriend?”

“Not really,” you confess. You glance at your phone and find Jeongguk’s number, “but he owes me a few favours here and there, it won’t hurt to bring an umbrella or something.”

“Good luck,” she laughs. She doesn’t offer her umbrella, despite it being tucked under her armpit, and her car is parked in sight close to the windows. At that, she leaves and you send Jeongguk a quick text message. If he’s working presently, the text will annoy him less than a call.

Raining! I’m stuck, can you send some to come and get me?

Jeongguk must be in office, because his reply is speedy. Forget your subway card again?

I never ask for anything, would it hurt you to send someone to get me?

He doesn’t reply for five minutes, and then, Uni, right?

It takes at least fifteen minutes before a vehicle pulls up across the small car-park; it’s a black car, shiny and wet and loud, and you bristle at its entry. Quickly, you hug your coat closer around your body and when you glance back up towards the window, you’re surprised to see Jeongguk himself briskly crossing the lot with an umbrella over his head.

“I’m here to pick up a Y/N L/N, you seen her?” he asks when he reaches the door, smiling as you haul it open and stare at him with happy surprise. “You did not dress for the weather.”

“The app said it would be cloudy,” you huff.

“Baby, it’s January, what did you expect,” Jeongguk sighs, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and bringing you closer to his body. Like this, he walks alongside you towards the car and for a moment, he glances around the complex out the corner of his eye. This University isn’t the dog's bollocks, because as much as he’s willing to help fund you at University, he can’t pay for you to be smarter. You’re pretty happy where you are, not being at a big-name University but doing the exact same degree anyways. He’s happy that you’re happy, but if it were him, he’d probably redecorate the front.

(22) Listening to them while they vent.

When Jeongguk vents, he doesn’t just vent. He never sits you down in front of him and lets it all out, nor does he slink away to therapy, or whining over the phone, or sleepy pillow talk where everything feels safer when you’re seconds away from falling asleep.

Instead, Jeongguk fucks away his problems, and as he does it, you tend to get an earful.

“And,” he grunts, one slap, one thrust, “I fucked it up.” One more. “All of it.” Another groan, a deeper push, “Fuck!”

You like to let him get it all out, and on the plus side, you get what you need which is to relieve the pressure of wanting in your stomach. It’s better when he’s angry, better for both of you, and he’s full of apologies when he’s finished, as if he was yelling at you and not at himself.

“Last time I ever work with Taehyung,” he spits. “Fuck. Ugh.”

You’ll ask him about it later.

(23) Taking a picture together to print and hang later.

One night, you’re over at Jeongguk’s. It’s not unusual that you’re here, especially when you’re here so often that his house feels like your own. From the bathroom, the shower runs loudly and Jeongguk sings, mostly to himself, in the water, meanwhile you dance around his kitchen making tea and bringing it to the bedroom where he’ll come in later when he’s done.

His room is golden and warm, and the curtains are drawn but the thin netting softens the sunset outside. You circle around the end of Jeongguk’s bed and set his cup on the bedside table on his side, closest to the window, when you notice something new sitting in a frame by the lamp. Okay, you’ll bite.

You put down both mugs and in exchange pick up the frame. Something warm bubbles inside your stomach as you look down at the frame; the picture, you’ve never seen before, but it’s of you. You remember the photo being taken in Colmar, the time that Jeongguk came to see you to satisfy his own boredom and need. Never did you imagine it would be a photo he’d print, let alone put in a frame next to his bed. It’s a pretty photo, too, with the river behind you and the sun on your skin, your hair only slightly in your face.

Not a perfect photo, but a pretty one. Jeongguk must like it enough to have printed it.

The shower cuts off in the bathroom and you move quickly, protecting an image of innocence as you put the frame back where it once was, and pick up your mug and place it on your bedside table. You’ve placed Jeongguk’s mug so that he could take it both ways. Maybe he’ll think you didn’t see the frame, or maybe he’ll know you did. He must have put it there for a reason, you think, and then you stop thinking when Jeongguk opens the bathroom door and enters the bedroom.

(24) Tracing your names together in the sand.

Jeongguk had a call from Hawaii. It was brief, and you imagine not very pleasant, but he had to go nonetheless. Jeongguk sure as hell wasn’t going to go to Hawaii without you, no matter how dangerous that might be for him. He told you with two hours notice to pack up your shit and meet him at his place. The plane took off three hours later, and Hawaii here you come.

He never liked to be late, or behind schedule, and so the job that needed to be done was done in a record breaking speed. Like always, he’d have some time to kill before needing to flee to avoid the authorities, and when Jeongguk heads back home after the deed is done, he steps into an empty room and his skin runs cold.

“Y/N?” he calls, to no response. He sets down his things and moves around the suite, his eyes darting to every area.

There is a moment where Jeongguk fears for the worst and out of instinct grabs the gun tucked into his belt. He pulls it out in the bedroom but pauses when out of the corner of his eye, he sees a person standing on the beach just outside the window. Jeongguk pauses.

Outside, the sun is warm and burning orange, sinking down into the pretty waves. You could get used to Hawaii, maybe, if you failed at journalism at the end of your degree, or if Jeongguk hurt your feelings enough that you felt living in Korea itself would be too painful to endure.

“Y/N!”

You turn over your shoulder, noticing Jeongguk stepping down from the dunes. He’s still in his suit, a black fit that makes him look slender and tall and absolutely stunning. His hair is still wild and wet and there’s blood on the inside of his blazer, a red that contrasts the white of his shirt. You won’t mention it, because he probably knows already.

“Hey,” you call back.

“It’s- it’s not safe for you to be out here on your own,” he explains, finally by your side. “Fuck, I was worried you’d been kidnapped, or something.”

“Oh, sorry,” you reply. “The sunset was just too pretty.”

Jeongguk sighs with his hands on his hips. “Yeah, it is. Hawaii does sunsets better than Korea, that’s for sure.”

Jeongguk stands next to you and says nothing for a few seconds. The sunset is indeed gorgeous, like something ripped out of a painting from a gallery somewhere fancy and famous. You hum quietly, and jump slightly to the left to grab a large stick off the sand. Jeongguk has to stop himself from smiling as you pick it up, like a kid who pretends the stick is a sword.

“I used to write rude things in the sand for the people in planes who flew past, every single time we went on vacation when I was a kid,” you announce.

Jeongguk laughs, “You were some kid, huh?”

“Maybe you killed the wrong one,” you think, and Jeongguk frowns.

“Can you not bring that up all the time?” You look at him and he frowns deeper, “I know you’re happy about it and stuff, but like...not my proudest moment. Makes me feel sucky.”

“Oh,” you answer. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. Just a joke.”

He shrugs, “I know. But still.”

You stab the sand with the stick. “I thought maybe it was like, fitting?”

Jeongguk lifts his head to the sky and closes his eyes. “Can’t we have a trip where we just pretend to be in love or something so I don’t feel so shit about the reason why we came here?”

That shuts you up for a moment, and you turn fully to face him as he continues to stare at the sky.

“Like Colmar, maybe,” you press, and he looks down.

“Yeah.”

It sits there for a bit, like you’re genuinely contemplating it, but then you straighten with a little huff and turn to him.

“Seems fair,” you agree.

Jeongguk almost exhales a sigh of relief and he smiles, genuinely, and follows you across the beach. The tide is a little out, the sand damp where the sea once was and like children, you embrace the fun that’s waiting to be had on the shores. Chasing the waves, running from them, staring at cute crabs that scurry across the sand and laughing at the cute kids that drop their ice creams in the water.

Jeongguk takes the stick gently from your hand and points it towards the white sand, pressing the tip against the grains. You smile against his arm as you bend to see what he draws; the stick drags across the sand and outlines a J, and the first initial of your name. Oh, you think, as he closes them inside a heart and stands back to admire his work.

It’s cute, childishly cute, and he looks proud. Jeongguk beams at you for approval and you smile back, happy.

“Photo,” you say and Jeongguk drops to a crouch near the design and poses with the stick. This photo is cute, probably cuter than the one from Colmar. Jeongguk even lets you keep it.

(25) Wearing clothes in their favourite colour.

Jeongguk’s favourite colour was white, and he loved the way a white shirt or a white coat or any white accessory would look on you. Sadistically he’d love you in the white clothes he ruins, seeing you wrap your body in a white shirt dressed with blood. White was his muse, a colour of purity and innocence. Although he always wore black for work, he had to have an admiration for the colour of white, standard paper or milk white.

Jeongguk knows that your favourite colour is green. He can tell by the amount of green plants around your apartment, and the green blankets and pillows and mugs and the unusual amount of green clothing items you have in your wardrobe. He even remembers the tie you bought him once, a Slytherin green that he actually really likes despite his Hogwarts house being Ravenclaw.

You’ve never actually seen him wear the tie, not until today when Jeongguk makes a quick stop by your apartment as he heads back to the office. He steps inside with a brown bag filled with bagels and he kisses your forehead by the front door and hands them to you. You see the tie and smile; Jeongguk sure as hell looks great in your favourite colour.

(26) Doing a chore for them that you know they aren’t fond of.

You’re lucky that you never really came across Elio, never once when you were at Jeongguk’s home. You had assumed that Elio was sleeping, or elsewhere on days you visited or nights you slept over. To your surprise and perhaps horror, you discovered that Elio had been there all along, just disinterested in coming out to see you from the few rooms that Jeongguk converted into his own personal habitat.

“You just had him here all this time?” you screech quietly, running back into the bedroom after seeing Elio on the couch. “What the fuck.”

“He’s harmless,” Jeongguk shrugs. “He’s not interested in a human diet right now.”

“Right now? That’s not comforting,” you reply. “I’m happy to go through all your shitty paperwork for you, it’s something I actually enjoy, but can you please go out and get them for me?”

Jeongguk cocks his head to the side, “why, can’t find them?”

“They’re in the living room, on the table,” you explain, peering back out, “but Elio’s on the couch.”

He laughs, rising, “He’s not gonna even touch you.”

“He might.”

“He won’t.”

“You don’t know that!”

“No, but he doesn’t hurt me, so he won’t hurt you.”

You gape. “What? He’s your pet, of course he won’t hurt you. He trusts you. He doesn’t even know me.”

Jeongguk sighs loudly and ruffles your hair as he crosses your path. “Whatever. You’re such a fuckin pussy,” then he kisses your neck and heads out into the living room. You quiver by the doorway as he moves without a flinch towards Elio.

The giant cat picks his head up off the couch and yawns in Jeongguk’s direction, his tail swooshing prettily over the side of the couch. His black fur blends into the blanket he lies on and as he blinks slowly, Jeongguk reaches to pet his head and behind his ears. Elio basks in the love, pressing his head further into Jeongguk’s palm, oddly dog-like. Jeongguk spends a few more moments with his beloved exotic and then finally, like he’s reluctant to, picks up the large and messy stack of papers and then walks back towards the bedroom with a smug expression. Elio’s head falls back to sleep.

“Touch me, check I’m still alive after my dangerous encounter,” Jeongguk says, bringing the papers into the room and dropping them on the bed.

“Shut up,” you huff.

(27) Leaving a plate of food in the microwave for when they have a late shift.

A call from Eunji at eight in the evening destroys all the plans you had set in place. Jeongguk had been called to meet with one of the founders of the South Korean Continental, and wouldn’t be back until around nine. You had prepped an entire meal, sitting ready on the side for when he got home.

“I’m sorry, I wouldn’t call if it wasn’t absolutely important,” Eunji apologises, sounding flustered on the line, “I just. I didn’t know who else to call. I went back to the library, I think I got rid of him, but he was definitely following me from the restaurant. Fuck, Y/N, it was so scary.”

“Hey, it’s okay, I’m glad you called me,” you assure her, already putting your shoes on, “I can’t believe he showed up again. Didn’t he get put in jail?”

Eunji hums like she’s not convinced, “Out on bail, eighty kay.”

“Fuck. Do you, uh,” you start, thinking of if it’s okay to say, “want me to call someone else?” Jeongguk?

Eunji is one of the only people alive who knows about Jeongguk. She had been your best friend since you were seven, and was one of the only people who remained by your side after Jeongguk had your brother executed, and after you decided to become Jeongguk’s little play thing for a few weeks until he lost control and kept you around. Eunji’s no stranger to his antics, and if you warped the story a little, Jeongguk would have no issues with sorting the problem at hand.

“No, no, don’t,” Eunji begs. “He’ll take it too far. People will point fingers at me. Can you just come and get me?”

“Of course,” you tell her. “We’ll go back to mine, I can see Jeongguk whenever.”

Eunji exhales in relief, “I love you, you know that? You’re the best friend ever.”

You hang up a few minutes later and stare sadly at the meal. But it can’t be helped. Jeongguk’s bailed on you a thousand times for his colleagues. He wouldn’t mind, after a few hours of thinking about it. You sigh with repent and move the food towards the microwave.

Rescuing Eunji. Call me, I can come back tomorrow. Please eat.

Jeongguk finds the note when he gets home and scrunches it into a ball in the bin.

He eats alone, in silence, the other side of the table still prepped for another person.

(28) Sharing a drink with them from the same straw.

“Enjoy the movie!”

“Thanks.”

Jeongguk takes the two tickets from the vender and steers you towards the corridor that leads to the rooms. On this rare occasion, Jeongguk has decided to court you. Quite literally, Jeongguk had called you up and asked if you wanted to go on a date, or something, because he was bored and liked you most, and he knows there’s a movie you’ve been wanting to see.

“Are you sure you wanna watch it with me?” you ask him, even though he’s already got the tickets and is walking next to you.

“Yeah, of course, why wouldn’t I?”

“I just didn’t think you were a cinema kind of person,” you confess.

Jeongguk hums, “To be honest, I’m not. But this movie looks good, and you wanna see it, and how often do we do things that you wanna do?”

It’s true.

The cinema room is dark and empty, since you’re both early to begin with. As always, it’s a little bit sticky and smelly, and Jeongguk pushes you towards the back row because it is inarguably the best place to sit in the cinema. You set down the large drink in between you both, two straws poking out in each of your directions.

“It’s great this movie is showing here,” you say quietly.

“Yeah, well the LGBT plus movement is really popular now, people are a lot more accepting of it,” Jeongguk states. “I mean, look at how well The Handmaiden did.”

You nod, “great movie.”

“It is,” he agrees. A few minutes later and the lights dim significantly, the movie is probably about to start. Jeongguk leans to the left a little and sips from the drink.

(29) Tucking their hair behind their ear to help them get it out of their face.

Uni’s tough, nobody said it wasn’t. Jeongguk doesn’t really understand this, since he never went to University. He brings a mug of tea from the kitchen to his bedroom where you’re sitting cross-legged staring at a laptop, setting it to the side and sitting just behind you but to your side, watching you closely.

“You’re doing it again.”

“Doing what,” you mutter dimly.

“Overworking yourself,” Jeongguk replies, “I can see your brain fucking pulsing against your skull.”

You sigh loudly. “I can’t do this. Why did I enroll in University? I should have just put it all away after high school and become a trophy wife.”

Jeongguk’s brows furrow. “You can still be a trophy wife, you’ll just be a smart one.”

You look at him. “I’m not smart enough for this.”

For a while, Jeongguk doesn’t say anything, and he just sits listening to you. As you vent, and open up about how hard it is to do this damn degree, Jeongguk watches your face and your body and uses his fingers to gently tuck the hair that falls in front of your face behind your ear. The passion that pours out of you when you’re frustrated is an unspoken beauty that you’re not even aware of, and Jeongguk eats it up.

He does what he can to put you at ease, because things he says in encouragement are things you already know anyway. Like all humans, all you need is a little bit of love, and Jeongguk’s happy to give it if it means you’re happy with him.

(30) Helping scratch that itch on their back they can’t reach.

“Can’t reach. Baby, scratch my back for me?”

You cringe away from the TV, “what the fuck am I? Your maid?”

“Please?”

You sigh. “Where’s it itching?”

“Thanks, you’re the best.”

“You don’t pay me enough for this.”

“I don’t pay you at all.”

Sigh. “Exactly.”

#wrote this watching high society its a bad movie dont watch it #jungkook scenario #bts scenario #jeongguk scenario #bts #bangtan #bts imagine #jungkook imagine #jungkook #jeongguk #bts jungkook #jungkook x reader #jeongguk x reader #jeon jeongguk #jeon jungkook #jjk #bts mafia au #sugar daddy au #wordless

241 notes · View notes

paranetics · 4 years

Note

hiya could you do a kiadam for 17. and 22.? if your not too busy. thanks !!

17. “Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while…” 22. “I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice.”

He’s completely minding his own business, being friendly with his physics textbook, all pressed up against the end of the bookshelf in the library, successfully having a love affair with headache-inducing math equations, when Mira ambushes him.

“Hiya,” she says, suddenly right in his face.

“Aisghls!” he gurgles, in a completely manly way, thank you. She sits back on her heels and laughs at him, loud and mocking. He scowls at her.

Her braces are blue now, matching the streaks in her hair. She looks nice, he decides, all neon green and blue. The loudness of her wardrobe suits her -- she’d be strange to him if she ever tried to tone it down.

“Oh, man, you should’ve seen your face.”

“Fuck you,” Kai snaps, smoothing out the pages of his book. “I am busy learning how to destroy the AP Phys exam. Stop being a distraction.”

She pouts at him. “Come on, you're seriously not still mad at me about the ceramic pig.”

“I’m always going to be mad at you about the ceramic pig,” he says primly. Then he sighs, unable to resist. “What’s up?”

Her smile turns bright, and his heart does that familiar little stutter. Kai has always, always loved her. Sure, she’s Adam’s best friend and has inclinations more Reeve-based, but there’s always going to be something about her that just catches him in the right spot. He’s over it now, and he has erm, other areas of interest, but she’ll always be special.

“Nessa’s having a party--”

“Ugh,” Kai interrupts.

“--with alcohol--”

“Double ugh.”

“And cute boys will be there,” Mira wheedles, whipping out her best puppy-eyes.

“I don’t care,” Kai says, shuffling away from her and looking back at his textbook. The particles will... he reads.

“Adam will be there,” she tries. Obvious trump card. Goddammit.

He cuts his eyes toward her, calculating. She’s grinning, triumphant, confident that she’s got him. He groans internally, because it’s either that he goes to this party and enjoys at least twelve percent of it, or Mira and Adam will wake him up from a dead sleep sometime in the AM, drunk and needy.

Part of his resistance is a lie, he always likes parties. He doesn’t like Vanessa, but she’s Reeve’s friend, and by proxy, Mira’s friend. He can pretend to like her for one night, especially if he gets to hang out with people. What can he say, extroversion. It’s a disease.

It’s just, recently, there’s been this trend. It’s like he’s been cursed.

Kai pretends to think about it.

“Fine,” he grits out.

“Yay!” Mira says, standing up and doing a little celebratory wiggle. She pulls her phone out of her pocket and unlocks it. “I’ll add you to the group text. Also, I want Reeve to drive me so you’re taking Adam alone okay bye.”

“Huh,” Kai says as she speed-walks away from him. “What? Hey!”

But she’s gone, vaguely eucalyptus-scented-shampoo left in her wake. Alone? With Adam? Fuck.

His phone buzzes.

Group: party 🎉🥂🥳🎊 time

mirakat added humantorchkai to the group

abeaverdam: Oh he’s coming?

lochnessa: Damn I didn’t know he left his house anymore

mirakat: ya i cornered his ass in th library

mirakat: hes a total slut 4 skool

mirakat: kais my bitch tho lol so ya hes comin

mirakat: dam hes drivin u

abeaverdam: Is that ok kai?

humantorchkai: yeah

humantorchkai: when?

lochnessa: Friday.

Kai’s late to first period on Wednesday, which Reeve notices, and bugs him about for ten minutes straight. He rolls in twenty minutes after the bell, wearing the clothes he left on his bedroom floor, all rumpled up and disorganized, and without a note. He drops into his seat and makes it approximately two minutes before Reeve leans over, into his space, and starts the interrogation.

“Oh my God,” Kai says to the ceiling. “For the last time, my alarm didn’t go off.”

“My Spidey-senses tell me you’re a liar,” Reeve says, and seriously, what does Mira see in this complete dork? He’s so nosy.

Kai drags his gaze from the ceiling to stare at him. “I think your janky-ass ‘spider-sense’ needs a psych eval.”

Reeve crosses his arms and sniffs at him. “Rude. I thought we were friends.”

“We are--” Kai scrubs his hands through his hair violently, frustrated. He catches the smirk on Reeve’s face. “Hey! That doesn’t work on me anymore. I’ve evolved.”

The smirk doesn’t leave Reeve’s face.

The truth is, Kai’s late because he had a nightmare. Or a wet dream. Depends on your definition of either thing. It’s been reoccurring pretty consistently, and Kai always wakes up from it breathing hard, adrenaline in his veins, and a hard-on. Today just happened to be shittier, and he couldn’t get back to sleep right away, so he overslept when his alarm went off.

It’s pretty much the worst, been happening for almost a month, and Kai is slowly losing his mind. But. whatever, the important part is this: he’s with Adam, and Adam kisses him. They could be in space, or in a submarine, or whatever Kai’s subconscious feels like cooking up. They could be anything, pirates, elven rebel warriors, it doesn't matter. In every dream, Kai’s with Adam, and at some point Adam leans over, the smell of Hennessy whiskey on his breath, and kisses Kai.

It’s why Kai’s been so rigid lately, avoiding his friends and refusing to go to parties, because of what happened Last Time he’d gone.

Mad Libs! Fill in the blanks, Sherlock.

He’s so totally, totally, totally screwed. And no one is allowed to know, not even Reeve, who knows Adam’s a flirty drunk and that Kai’s pathetic, and hasn’t even told anyone any of Kai’s other secrets, because this? This is world-ending levels of FUCK.

So, when the bell rings, Kai basically sprints out the door to avoid Reeve.

Group: party 🎉🥂🥳🎊 time

speedyskeet: should i bring da weed

reever: ohhh shiiiit hell yeah

lochnessa: No LSD though

speedyskeet: :O

speedyskeet: um ok MOM

reever: wtf ness

reever: psychedelic rights!!!

speedyskeet: let me get us fkd up!!

mirakat: wait didnt we hav 2 call an ambulance 4 coop last time u brought more than weed to a party

mirakat: or was tht a different school

speedyskeet: .........

speedyskeet: ok so im assuming edibles and my bong right

Kai takes his lunch to Mr Tucker’s room.

Mr Tucker is the APUS history teacher for the senior class, and he is the only non-STEM teacher that Kai likes. Mira is also his favorite student, so he lets them eat lunch in his room. It’s better than fighting for a spot in the crowded cafeteria, and Kai likes hiding from the rest of the student body.

Adam, Reeve, and Mira are sitting at one of the table groups when Kai walks in with his plate of chicken nuggets, Vanessa and Skeet nowhere to be seen. They’re probably getting high in the parking lot.

Mr Tucker is scrolling through youtube, his computer desktop displayed on the projector screen.

“Why’d you look up Nyan cat?” Kai asks, tilting his head as he watches Mr Tucker scroll.

“It’s stuck in his head,” Mira pipes up, helpfully.

Mr Tucker grunts confirmation and apparently selects the version he likes. Reeve groans when it starts playing, slumping forward over his tuna salad. Mr Tucker picks up his normal vegetable-based salad, his bushy mustache wiggling in that way that means he’s smiling.

Kai sits next to Reeve, across from Adam. Mistake, Kai realizes too late. Big mistake. Because now they have to make eye contact, and Kai’s belly catches fire at the memory of drunkAdamhe’sKISSINGMESOMEONEHELP when he looks down at his plate of chicken nuggets. It’ll be obvious on his face in a few moments, he’s never been able to fight off a blush well, and then there’s going to be Questions. Capital-Q Questions.

But Reeve’s talking about, like, whatever drama majors talk about, and when Kai chances a peek up, Adam’s not looking at him. So.

Kai can’t help it, okay? He’s creepy. Sue him. No wait, that’s not-- ugh.

Kai studies the contours of Adam’s face while he’s not looking. His high cheekbones and his sharp chin. His heavy eyebrows that are shaped perfectly (”Ugh, you’re so fucking gross,” Reeve had said when Kai had voiced this thought aloud. “His eyebrows? I think you need to ask him out. Get it out of your system.”) and his eyes are that warm shade of brown, almost gold, soft and kind.

His hair is longer now, and errant curls flop over his forehead and around his ears. Kai watches the long line of Adam’s throat when he tilts his head back from the force of laughing at something Reeve said. Kai’s transfixed by the inviting stretch of dark skin, entertaining a thought of leaning over and just biting down so it’s not his fault he doesn’t see it coming when Reeve violently jabs him in the rib.

Kai jumps. “Ah! What the fuck?”

“Language,” Mr Tucker says in the toneless inflection of someone who doesn’t really care but responds on reflex. He’s now scrolling through Seasame Street videos.

Reeve shrugs, unrepentant. “You were gone there, dude.”

“Yeah,” Adam agrees, eyebrows raised in polite curiosity. “Planet Zenon gone.”

Kai ducks his head. “I’m, uh, stressed about AP physics?” he tries.

“Uh-huh,” Reeve says, “and are you asking us to confirm that for you?”

“Leave him alone,” Mira interrupts mildly. “Only, like, a hundred people a year get above a three on that exam.”

“Wow, how is that class still funded?” Adam asks.

“Elitism?” Mira guesses. “Maybe it’s like, a torture thing. Like, a test within a test.”

“What,” Reeve says, “like, if you pass you can become a super-secret spy?”

“Or I can, like, do another Chernobyl. Or I’m allowed secret access to government secrets. Ooh, maybe they’ll tell me the moon is a projection into the sky.” Kai says, warming to this idea.

“Then how would they explain waves?” Reeve asks.

“Uh, giant wave pool,” Kai answers.

“Hot take: the world is in a giant wave pool,” Mira grins at him.

Adam blinks almost in slow-motion, the sweep of his eyelashes against his cheeks, a smile growing on his face, and Kai is once again caught like a fly in honey. Just like that, all the saliva is gone from Kai’s mouth, and he’s completely lost the thread of whatever’s happening around him.

Okay, so, recap: totally, totally, totally screwed.

adam: U sure you’re ok driving me?

kai: dam i swear its fine

kai: i’d say something if it was a problem

kai: my parents have been trying to kick me out basically every weekend, this’ll make them so fucking happy

adam: Lol

adam: [A stock photo of two white parents sitting on a beach towel in a tropical location, smiling adoringly at each other. In the blurry background, a toddler with similar skin color and hair is being attacked by a seagull.]

“There is a PROBLEM!” Kai announces, flopping heavily onto his bed, tossing an arm dramatically over his forehead. Mira doesn’t even look up at him.

“Hm?” she says from the floor, knees drawn up to her chest, eyebrows furrowed in deep concentration. She’s looking more at her iPad than at him.

“Oh my God,” Kai groans. “You don’t even care. I’m nothing to you. You enjoy my suffering.”

“Die white man,” Mira says tonelessly. “I’m trying to beat my old high score in Tetris. What’s your damage.”

“I have nothing to wear on Friday,” Kai moans, pained.

“What? Why do you even care? Your regular clothes are fine.”

“Oh my God, Mira! It’s a party,” Kai breathes the word like its holy, a precious thing nestled in the crook of his tongue, not to be defiled by people who wear school clothes to special events. “And I want to get hit on.”

“I’ll hit on you,” Mira promises. The iPad makes a wah-wah-wah sound. She sighs, setting it aside and looking up at him, expression thoroughly unamused, clearly blaming him for her high-score loss.

“I did not do that,” Kai says. The blood’s started rushing to his head, so he sits up and blinks away the black spots as they dance in front of his vision. “I just wanna be hot,” he whines.

“Okay, so, wear that stupid blue button-up with the tigers on it, and the black skinny jeans. It brings out your eyes,” she elaborates. “And tucked-in button-ups are hot on dudes. Oh, and--”

“If you’re gonna Queer Eye me, I swear to God,” Kai complains.

“Will you just... I was gonna say you should wear a tiny bit of eyeliner. It’s like, accentuating your features or some shit.”

“Why should I trust you?” Kai asks playfully. “I’ve never seen you go anywhere near a make-up in my life.”

Mira shrugs. “I saw it on Instagram. Anyways, Reeve said I have ‘good bone structure’, what does that even mean?”

“That he’s an idiot and I can’t believe you’re into him?” Kai ventures. Mira glares at him, so Kai leans back on the bed, rolling his eyes up to the bedroom ceiling at the glow-in-the-dark stick-on stars that have been there since he was seven. “Okay, okay. He was probably trying to compliment you, but since he’s a robot sent by aliens to infiltrate the earth he did it in a really bizarre way.”

Mira perks up. “You think?”

“He said ‘good’.”

“What should I say back?”

“Erm, that you’ll have his babies?”

Mira throws one of her glittery highlighter pens at him. It bounces off the center of his forehead and onto his lap. He laughs, picking it up and tossing it back.

“I don’t know,” he admits. “Maybe say that you like his bones, too.”

Mira takes out her phone.

adam: [A picture of a pina colada sitting on a kitchen counter in a pool of sunlight.]

adam: Winky face

kai: you could just like, use the emoji keyboard instead of typing it out

adam: Don’t make me frowny face

Kai spends fifteen minutes messing with his hair in the mirror. He gels it sticking up, twists his mouth critically at his reflection, and wets his hands to wipe it out. Nothing’s working for him today. It’s just one of those things, his clothes seem to hang off him awkwardly, and nothing looks right.

He makes a sound of frustration, and his mom pokes her head into the bathroom.

“Oh,” she says. “I thought you were going to a party?”

“Mom,” he growls. “I’m getting ready!”

“Hm.”

She pushes the door all the way open, surveys him from head to toe, and reaches over to run a hand through his hair, leaving parts sticking up in her wake. Kai looks in the mirror. Now, instead of awkward ‘trying-too-hard’, he looks artfully tousled. He unbuttons two top buttons of his tiger shirt, and messes with the collar to make it look like someone had grabbed it and reeled him in for a kiss. He grins at himself.

“That’s better, I think,” she says.

“Thanks Mom,” he says, shuffling past her and out to the hallway.

“Limit yourself to three drinks!” she calls as he stuffs his feet into old converse. “If you get too intoxicated to drive, spend the night! Just text! Don’t forget to wear condoms and--”

Kai shuts the door in her face.

His car is a silver Prius, owned five times prior to him. The interior always smells a little bit like shamrock shake and in the winter requires a prayer and three engine turnovers to start. Kai loves it.

He pulls up to Adam’s street and texts without looking that he’s close. He parks in the street, and jogs up to Adam’s front door. He raps his knuckles on Adam’s door, the red one with caterpillar decals, and a blue handprint on the doorknob.

Adam throws open the door. “Gimme a sec, gotta grab my jacket.”

He’s wearing a white shirt and Kai’s favorite jeans of his (do Not judge him, okay, liking your crush’s ass is basically a given and is no longer considered a sin under the New Testament, so really Kai’s not weird for liking this pair of Adam’s jeans because it accentuates his butt.), the ones with rips in the thigh and at both knees, because Adam lives reckless and dies reckless.

He jams his feet into vans and grabs the heavy olive jacket off the coatrack and follows Kai out to the Prius.

“You look nice,” Adam says, offhand. Kai feels how hot his face immediately gets and hopes it isn’t ugly, sometimes his blushes look like a rash.

“Thanks,” he says, rubbing his neck, right hand fumbling for his keys.

They slide into their seats, and Kai is hit with the violent-sense memory of Hennesy whiskey, and dark streetlamps, and Adam’s soft voice and brown puppy-dog eyes imploring Kai, look at me. Look at me, please. And. And.

His phone buzzes.

“Oh, Vanessa wants us to pick up some soda,” Kai says through the rock in his throat.

“Ooh, ooh. Cherry 7-Up, Jarritos Lime, uh like, a ton of Mountain Dew... and Coke! We’ll need Coke,” Adam rambles as Kai pulls away from the street and heads toward the local general store.

mira: WHERE

mira: R

mira: U

mira: 2

mira: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kai frowns at his phone. They’re in the check-out line, waiting for their turn with about three tons of soda on the conveyer. Kai’s got a fifty dollar bill from his parents, because they’re stupidly open-minded, but he’s still gonna make Vanessa pay him back. Adam’s inspecting the tabloids, making comments about all of the covers and whatever he thinks about them.

kai: WE’RE

kai: FUCKING

(Not sent !) kai: GETTING

(Not sent !) kai: DRINKS

mira: FUHDUK WHATTTT!!!?????????

Kai groans.

The party’s already alive by the time Adam and Kai get there, music thrumming against the walls of the house, the glass panes of the windows shaking with the vibrations. Weighed down by plastic bags full of drinks, and a little bit anxious, Kai fumbles with the door handle three times until Adam reaches over him and opens it.

The crowd is huge. He didn’t even know that Vanessa and Skeet knew this many people. There’s a wall of heat that hits them when they step inside, the difference between the inside and outside must be a solid ten degrees. Most people are crammed in the living room, near the speakers, where a sort of impromptu dancefloor has evolved. There are plenty of people lining the hallways, sitting on the stairs, and spilling over into the other places of the house.

Vanessa has changed the lightbulbs to fuschia, cobalt, and teal colors, so the house looks almost like a club from a TV show. There’s this haze over everything - and, yep, definitely Skeet’s weed - that makes it seem smoky and mysterious. Adam kicks the door shut behind them as they begin to navigate the crowd.

Skeet’s leaning against one of the walls, talking to a tiny girl with piercings and too much eyeliner. She tosses her head, her hair flying up like a halo for a moment, luminescent in the multicolored lights of the house, and leans closer to Skeet. She’s holding a red solo cup, Skeet’s holding weed, and Kai’s arms are starting to hurt from all the soda.

“So, your, like, real name is Skeet? What kind of name is that? I mean, like, who does that to their kid?” she’s asking, valley girl accent and everything, even twirling a strand of hair around her finger.

Skeet shrugs, unbothered. “My parents are hippies.” he spots them, then, and lifts his joint in a get over here gesture. Kai and Adam shove some people to stand in front of him. He grins. “Oh, dudes, nice. You got drinks. I wasn’t sure if you would, since Mira told us that you, uh, made a pit stop.” he waggles his eyebrows.

Kai groans, flushing.

“Uh, yeah,” Adam says, lifting up his bags. “for drinks? Hello?”

Skeet leers, grin stretching bigger. Kai scowls. He’s going to eat her one day, all Hannibal-Lecter style.

“Where is Mira, anyway?” he cuts in before Skeet says anything weird. “Where should we put the drinks?”

“Oh, just, you know,” Skeet makes a vague gesture with his hand that doesn’t really mean anything. “I think I saw her in the kitchen?”

“Thanks,” Kai mutters, shoving through the crowd and deeper into the house.

Mira and Vanessa are leaning against the sink, Reeve’s standing at the counter, completely covered in bottles of alcohol, thumb and forefinger at his chin like he’s surveying fine art.

“Oh! You made it! I hate vodka without coke,” Mira says, striding forward and grabbing the bags from Adam.

Kai followers her back to the counter, and shoves the receipt into Vanessa’s limp hands without looking at her. Together, Kai and Mira start to set up the drink line, stacking up all the empty red cups at the edge of the counter as they try to make sure all the soda and alcohol are equally accessible. How Skeet even gets this stuff... he shudders to think.

Kai waits until Adam and Reeve have wandered out of earshot to lean into Mira’s space. Vanessa had vacated the premise the moment it looked like any physical work would be happening, so he doesn’t worry about her particular brand of nosiness. He takes his phone out of his pocket and tilts the screen so she can see it.

“My texts didn’t send,” he tells her in a low voice. “We weren’t actually, you know.” he flushes violently.

Mira shoots him a grin. “No, I guessed that something had happened. It was just funny. You look nice.”

He smiles at her, genuinely, which means his gums are probably showing. She looks nice too, in her little black dress with a flared skirt and combat boots. The neon green streaks in her hair glow in the weird light of the house.

“I like your outfit,” he says. The din in the background is starting to grow. More people have probably showed up.

She nods at his jeans. “Cuffed jeans. The true mark of a bisexual.”

Kai nods very seriously. “I can’t leave my house without announcing every aspect of my sexuality to the entire world.”

Adam’s talking to a group of people at the other end of the kitchen, his smile is blindly white in the pink light, skin pitched a shade darker, a stark difference against the glow of his white shirt. Staring, unable to look away, Kai steals Mira’s cup and takes a swig. It’s straight vodka, so Kai coughs immediately when it hits his tongue.

Mira laughs at him.

Group: party 🎉🥂🥳🎊 time

speedyskeet: do any of u know anyone named travis montery

mirakat: no

lochnessa: No

abeaverdam: Nope!

humantorchkai: no

reever: nah

speedyskeet: fucking L lmao

speedyskeet: im kicking this fool out then

Kai’s wandering around, pleasantly buzzed from two Cherry 7-Ups with a tiny bit of vodka, looking for any familiar face. Mira and Reeve had abandoned him pretty much straight away, he’d left Adam alone in the kitchen, and he’s actively avoiding Vanessa.

He stumbles around, moving his shoulders a bit in time with the music, his body gone languid and loose from the heat and the alcohol and the atmosphere.

His phone beeps at him again. He really hopes it's not Skeet checking with them before he bounces a guy again. It’s just Mira, he sees, when he’s fumbled his phone out of his back pocket. He has to squint to read in the pink light amid the thrumming bodies of people all around him.

Eventually, he escapes the crowd and heads down the stairs to the “game room” and finds another living room, with a soft white carpet and a couch in front of a big flatscreen. There’s a group of about a dozen kids, plus Kai’s friends, sitting on the carpet in a circle by the couch, with a beer bottle laying on a Monopoly game board. Kai blinks, the lights here aren’t fun colors, and everyone in the circle raises their arms and cheers when they see him.

He walks over to them. Mira grabs his arm and begins to drag him onto the carpet beside her. The group begins to chant.

“Spin the bottle! Spin the bottle!”

Oh, no fuck, Kai thinks, beginning to resist Mira’s grip on his arm. His drink is sloshing about, and Kai holds it away from his shirt and pants as he tries to reverse his crouch and pull his arm back. Skeet reaches up and confiscates the cup, downing the rest of it in one go.

“Spin the bottle! Spin the bottle! Spin the bottle!”

But he’s buzzed and his coordination is spotty, so when Adam reaches out with his hand and spins the beer bottle, Mira tugs once, hard, and Kai crashes onto the carpet, and the bottle spins,

and spins,

and spins.

And points the neck straight at Kai’s disheveled spot in the circle.

So, let’s revisit that cursed theory, shall we?

Kai looks at Adam, and Adam looks at him. He’s got that dopey half-smile on his face, and his pupils are blown wide, iris a thin gold ring around them. Kai knows when Adam’s drunk, or blackout, and he’s tipsy right now, just like Kai. And... oh no. But the kids in the circle are jeering, giggling delightedly.

“Uh,” Kai says.

Adam licks his lips, and Kai tracks the movement of his tongue helplessly. His eyes are moving on Kai’s face, like he’s cataloging everything, like he can’t keep them still. Kai’s mouth is very, very dry, and he misses having the cup in his hand.

“So, uh,” he says, and the tension buzzes even harder. “Is this, like, a kissing thing?”

Skeet grabs him by the arms and manhandles him up. Reeve and Vanessa grab Adam and start frogmarching them down the short hall toward some rooms and closed doors.

“No,” Skeet says, “This is more like a seven minutes in heaven thing.”

“Wait,” Kai says. Skeet reaches past him and opens a door. “Wait.” Skeet pushes him in, and Adam follows behind. “Wait.” The door clicks shut, then there's a clunk, then the sound of something heavy being pushed against the door.

Kai tries the knob, but it's locked. He jiggles it, but his muscles won’t cooperate and yank hard enough. Adam could probably break it open, but Kai has the vague thought of Vanessa’s parents and property damage, and underage drinking.

“Guys!” Adam yells. He pounds on the door with his fist. “Guys! This isn’t funny!”

But they don’t answer.

Evil. Mental note: make sure your friends aren’t evil next time.

“Looks like we’ll be trapped for a while,” Kai sighs, giving up on the door.

They’ll just have to wait out the seven-minute sentence. It’s simultaneously worse and so much better than the alternative. This way, Adam won’t have to kiss Kai if he doesn’t want to. But also: he won’t have to kiss Kai if he doesn’t want to. It’s a testament to how drunk all of them really are.

Kai turns, presses his back against the door, and slides down it, pulling his knees to his chest, wrapping his hands around his shins, and resting his cheek on his knee. He surveys the room. It’s small and dark, Kai doesn’t have the wherewithal to search for the light switch, but from what Kai can see it looks like a guest room no one ever uses and has accumulated with old junk. There’s a tiny window at the opposite wall that leads up to the lawn. Adam groans and drops onto the ground beside Kai.

The night is clear the moonlight is touching the window and peeking into the room. Adam’s shirt is glowing against his skin from the moonlight, his eyes a bright point in the semi-dark of the room. Kai locks eyes with Adam, and the tension from earlier crops back up tenfold.

This situation is... stupidly pointed. Kai’s pretty sure Reeve is the only person in the world who knows Kai thinks Adam is kinda hot, but he’d also have to be massively stupid to ignore the strain in their friend group lately.

Adam’s looking at him the way he does right before he reaches out to touch Kai’s hair, or brush his fingers against Kai’s freckles, or leans over to kiss Kai’s cheek. He’s looking at Kai like a hungry man, like he’s about to make the stupidest decision of his life and never look back. Kai can feel the pull of that look drawing him in, the temptation to run his hands against Adam’s chest, touching his shoulders or his mouth.

So Kai does the only thing he can think of.

“What did you think of that new Hey Arthur episode?”

Adam blinks at him. “Uh. You mean that kids show?”

Kai bites his lip and nods vigorously.

Totally. Totally. Totally screwed.

reeb: [A video of Mira on the dancefloor among a huge throng of teens. The song in the background is completely drowned out by people attempting to sing along drunkenly. She’s grinding against Vanessa, who’s wearing Skeet’s sunglasses and drinking a mimosa with a cocktail umbrella in it.]

(Not sent !) kai: let us out of here!!! its been like 15 mins!!!! guys!!! dam’s phone is dead!!!!!

(Not sent !) kai: goddamn it COME GET US

(Not sent !) kai: NOTHING IS SENDING!!

reeb: lol wya we cant find dam either

(Not sent !) kai: YOU LEFT US IN THE BASEMENT

“Ugh,” Kai says, flopping back down onto the pillows beside Adam. At some point during their imprisonment slash debate on the ethics of twenty-three seasons of the same children’s cartoon, they’d moved from the floor to the twin bed. “I’m pretty sure they forgot about us.”

“Well, it’s been like thirty minutes. And they’re drunk.”

Kai’s starting to sober up. He has to pee, and his mouth tastes like cherry coughdrops. He stands up on the bed, bouncing a bit on the mattress. He reaches up and touches the seam of the window and the sill.

“What are you doing?” Adam asks, trepidation in his voice.

“Uh, escaping?” Kai says.

Kai presses his foot onto the upside down elliptical that’s propped precariously against an old wardrobe. He puts some of his weight on it, testing. Satisfied that it won’t give, Kai lifts himself up onto it, closer to the window, and pushes against the glass pane. The window opens out suddenly, making Kai wobble. The wardrobe groans.

“Careful!” Adam barks.

Kai glances back at Adam, his worried eyes watching Kai from the bed, sitting up on his knees in a half crouch. Kai sticks his head out the narrow window, then his shoulders, and manages to drag himself up and out.

He turns back around and offers his hand to Adam.

“Come on,” he says. “I’ll help you out.”

Adam climbs up onto the elliptical like Kai had, reaches his right hand to Kai’s left and uses his left to leverage himself closer to the window. The wardrobe and the elliptical make that sound again, like they’re scraping together.

“Hurry!” Kai says, afraid of the whole makeshift apparatus falling apart. Adam’s left palm slaps against Kai’s right and Kai pulls.

The elliptical falls over as Kai yanks Adam up, a great big crash resounding in the room they just escaped. Kai’s momentum and Adam’s weight makes Kai step back once, then twice, then his footing goes and he sprawls onto his back, Adam on top of him, in one big undignified heap.

Adam looks down at him. He looks more sober, too, like he hasn’t had much to drink. Kai should really be pushing Adam off of him. Or trying to sit up. But his hands are on Adam’s waist, and Adam’s looking at Kai’s face like he can’t quite look at anything else, and Kai cannot, for the life of him, break this moment.

Adam’s hands are on either side of Kai’s face, boxing him in. His breath puffs against Kai’s mouth over and over as he breathes shallowly. His eyes flick all over Kai’s face, and Kai’s thinking kiss me, please so hard he’s pretty sure NASA catches the brainwaves.

“I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice,” he says, voice soft and vulnerable, like Kai has the power to hurt him with whatever Kai says next.

Kai’s hands tighten on Adam’s waist. He’s thought about this a lot. Like, a stupid amount. Who doesn’t daydream about confessing to your crush? But Kai cannot dredge up any words to say. He’s dry, completely dry, and he can only think about how good Adam’s weight feels on him. He dips his eyes to Adam’s mouth and thinks This is where I kiss him, right? and Adam’s eyes slide shut as he leans in, towards Kai, and Kai loses his mind.

The backdoor opens, the sounds of the party spilling out into the night air, pink light washing over them. Adam scrambles off Kai so fast that he’s pretty sure he breaks the world record for speed, and stands up.

Kai props himself onto his elbows and squints at the silhouette in the doorway.

“Vanessa?”

“Oh my God, there you guys are!” she leans back into the house to yell, “Guys! I found Adam and Kai! They were fucking around in the backyard!”

“Hey!” Adam snaps indignantly. “You locked us in the basement! We had to escape!”

Vanessa rolls her eyes at them.

adam: hey uh

adam: sorry about what i said when i was drunk lol

adam: i didn’t mean it

Kai turns his phone off and stuffs it into his bag, frustrated. He hadn’t meant to not talk to Adam all weekend, he’d just needed to think things through, and then his dad had asked him to help paint the deck, and he’d had to finish up some code for robotics and time had kinda slipped away from him without really meaning to.

He hadn’t meant to ignore everyone else, either, but they weren’t in a Situation with Kai on Friday night, and he’s not in love with them, and they didn’t seem to mind so much.

Kai had spent all weekend staring at the texts, in between being too busy to answer them, but he can’t figure out what to say back. He’d gotten them Saturday morning after the party, probably because he hadn’t stuck around long enough to be left alone with Adam again.

Kai had left because.

Well, because.

Because he feels played.

Is that it? He can’t tell. He just feels so hollow about it. Adam doesn’t mean to, Kai knows that, but it still feels like he’s being led on. Adam has kissed him once while black out and almost kissed him while tipsy and flirts pretty outrageously, and it’s all too much for Kai’s head, which is designed for building robots and lying to his English teachers.

So at lunch, instead of going to Mr Tucker’s room, he lets Freddie from Calc drag him to the auditorium to help build the drama department’s Spring play set.

He’s not avoiding anyone. He’s just... helping his friends.

Fuck.

reeb: ok i give

reeb: wtf is going on

kai: ?

reeb: don’t “?” me mfer

reeb: adam is sulking n shit and u’ve been sorta MIA

kai: i’ve been busy, sorry

kai: i am the captain of a team u know. its not personal. i’ll hang out with you guys soon

reeb: spidey sense says there is something u are not telling me

kai: i really do think your spidey sense is actually overactive bladder syndrome

reeb: [An image of the caveman spongebob meme.]

He’s in the library, sitting in his favorite spot nestled in the bookshelves, brow furrowed over The Great Gatsby, his English journal, the notes Hannah lent him, and the Sparknotes page for the novel, surrounded by every color highlighter and pen, just trying to get his homework done, when Adam ambushes him.

“You’re avoiding me,” he says, out of nowhere.

Kai jumps, sending his highlighters and books flying. Adam is standing above him, eyebrows furrowed and his arms crossed. He looks a little bit light a superhero, all righteous indignation at injustice, his muscles buldging slightly. You’re dead. Goodbye. his brain supplies.

“Holy shit,” he says, gathering his stuff back up slowly. “You scared me.”

Adam’s eyes soften. “Sorry,” he murmurs.

Kai shrugs. “Don’t worry about it.”

The silence hangs there as Kai avoids his gaze, reshuffling Hannah’s notes back into their correct order. He’s lost his page in the book, so he opens it to the middle and starts looking for the correct page number. There’s no sound in this corner of the library except for Kai’s over-loud breathing and the turning of pages.

Go away go away go away, Kai prays, wanting the world to end so he won’t ever have to face this moment. He thinks about the echo of Adam’s voice in his memory, Kai, look at me, the feeling of Adam’s weight in his lap, the ache Kai feels when he looks at Adam, and wishes that he could just stand up and run.

Adam clears his throat. “You’ve been avoiding me,” he says again, only this time it comes out more like a question.

Kai keeps his face as blank as possible, schools it into something politely curious unlike the shattered glass mosaic he feels like. “Am I?”

Adam rubs his hand across the back of his neck. “Look, I’m sorry,” he says haltingly, sliding his hands into his pockets. “I shouldn’t have... come on to you like that. It was inappropriate, and we were both drunk. And I didn’t mean it.”

Kai looks at him for a long moment. He can feel it, a rock on his chest, crushing him. He feels the ball in his throat, the hot prickle against the backs of his eyelids. “I know,” he says eventually. His voice comes out steady, even though he feels like he’s falling apart.

“So... we’re cool?”

Kai forces himself to nod. “Okay.”

“Really? Because I still feel like I fucked up somewhere here.” Adam takes his hands out of his pockets to open them, palms up, like he’s pleading. “Tell me what I did wrong so I can fix it.”

And it’s now or never. As much as Kai abhors the idea of talking about his feelings in the school library at 4 PM, as much as he wants to just lie through his teeth and stitch this all back up into one big internal bag of FUCK and pretend like nothing happened, he’d be leaving Adam hanging, and Kai’s not a dick.

He takes a deep breath. Then another one. He tries to channel his internal Reeve, but decides against it because Reeve’s kinda an asshole.

“I just... wish you did,” Kai says eventually. If he wasn’t himself, he’d slap him. Adam stares at Kai like he’d just spoken another language, like he’d just spat out part of a puzzle to piece together.

“Wish I did... what?” he asks slowly.

“Mean it,” Kai grits out, the words dragged from him. He feels ridiculous. This is stupid.

“Mean...?” Adam says, like he’s stupid. Kai scowls at him.

“Do you remember the St Eve’s party?”

Adam shrugs, looking helpless and confused.

“I drove you home that party. I drive you home every party. And every time we’re alone, you say that you like me, that you want me to go inside with you, that you think about me all the time,” Kai’s stomach is churning and Adam looks like he’s about to faint.

“I didn’t...”

Kai can’t hear him say it again. “And I know that you’re just drunk, and that’s just what you’re like when you’re drunk, but I just... I just wanted it to be true so bad. Part of me kept driving you home because I wanted you to be like that with me, part of me just wanted to pretend. But then you kissed me, and I just...” Kai makes a helpless gesture with his hands.

Adam licks his lips. He’s breathing a bit hard.

“...Fell apart,” Kai finishes.

Adam’s looking at him, wide-eyed, deer-in-the-headlights look, pure panic. Kai’s fucked it up, ruined their friendship, destroyed their friend-group, and will probably be unable to look anyone in the eye for a very long time.

Adam didn’t want to hear this. Kai should’ve just lied, shut it all up and let himself wither up inside. He should’ve avoided Adam harder, or refrained from falling in love with him in the first place. He should’ve just dated Jesse when she’d asked and made himself get over Adam.

“How long?”

Kai blinks. “Huh?”

“How long have you wanted...?” he shrugs.

Ah. The million dollar question.

“Officially? Middle of junior year. If I’m honest with myself? Probably since middle school.”

Adam’s mouth opens and closes nonsensically. Kai asks God to strike him down, just so this can end, just so Kai can go back to trying to figure out what the fuck is up with Gatsby and Jay, just so Adam will stop looking at him like that, like Kai’s killed his puppy.

Adam drops to his knees in front of Kai.

“Okay. Since freshman year. And I’m a liar. I did mean it. I kept thinking, you know, maybe you’d like me back, because I could see you looking, but I just couldn’t make myself say anything. And I meant it. I mean it. I do. I want to kiss you.”

Kai swallows. He’s feeling that dangerous thing again, like there are snakes in his chest, or his feelings are in a bucket that’s about to overflow.

“Okay,” he squeaks out.

Adam leans down and fits their mouths together. It’s chaste, and Kai’s lips are a little bit chapped, and he didn’t close his eyes, but when Adam pulls back Kai smiles so hard his mouth hurts.

And he leans up to kiss Adam, insistent, insistent, tasting Adam without Hennessy whiskey (and he does taste fantastic), and something electric happens to Kai’s spine when their tongues touch. He feels like he’s going to burn up, burst into stars, create a fissure in the earth that goes down to the core, or all three at once.

Adam licks along the roof of Kai’s mouth and yeah - that’s the one thing he’d like to never, ever, ever forget.

He’s about to be totally, totally, totally screwed.

Group: dandilyin hoes MFERsssss!! skeet DONT CHANGE CHAT NAME

mirakat: omfg

mirakat: k & a suckin face in library

mirakat: [A blurry creeper picture of Kai pressed against the bookshelves, Adam leaning over him. Their silhouettes are blacked out against the sunlight streaming in through the window, so they almost look like one body. It’s taken at an angle and half of a wooden shelf is in frame.]

speedyskeet: arent they in this GC too

lochnessa: Lmfaaooooooo

speedyskeet: they r gonna see this.....

reever: WTF ADAM’S INTO KAI???

reever: ?????

lochnessa: What planet do you live on

speedyskeet: fuckin jesus christ reeb

locknessa: Literally no one knew KAI was into Adam. EVERYONE KNEW ADAM WAS INTO KAI

reever: WHY AM I THE LAST ONE TO KNOW STUFF

mirakat: s2g i tld u this whn we were @ fortescue’s u nvr listen 2 me

“I hate them all,” Kai announces.

Adam looks up at him from where his head is pillowed on Kai’s thighs, Pride and Prejudice held aloft.

“Don’t worry, I set all their ringtones to Maroon 5.”

send me a ship + a prompt and i’ll write you a drabble!

#The Hollow #My writing #answer #kaidam

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normal-thoughts-official · 3 years

Text

Aftermath

The MC survives Richard Sutcliffe's attempted murder.

This is what happens after.

Fandom: It Lives (Visual Novels)

Relationships: Main Character & Tom Sato & Imogen Wescott & Danni Asturias, Elliot Vance & Main Character (It Lives Beneath), Danni Asturias/Imogen Wescott, Robbie Sutcliffe/Elliot Vance (mentioned), Richard Sutcliffe & Dying

Additional Tags: Crack, Humor, Canon Compliant, Mentions of Sex, that's basically it honestly this is just crack, also yes my character is named That Bitch that is his name, i do not have the maturity to pick my character's names and be normal about it, and since this is a crackfic i thought it was fitting to keep the name i had originally picked, anyway. enjoy, no beta we die like men, honestly the whole thing with robert trying to murder the MC was so crazy, im just like, theres no way to react to this that isnt crazy

Read it on Ao3

When Robbie and Elliot get back home from their date, the first thing they see is That Bitch making fishsticks, as expected. However, the kitchen is half-destroyed and That Bitch is drenched head to toe in lake water, which is considerably less expected. Richard Sutcliffe's corpse, which had apparently spawned into their kitchen for the purposes of quick visual storytelling, was also there.

"Uh… Watcha got there, That Bitch?" Elliot asks, frozen in place.

"Fishsticks," That Bitch replies, showing him the frying pan. "They'll be ready in a minute."

Robbie stares at the body, frozen in shock. "Is that my dad?" he asks.

"Hah, more like your dead," That Bitch replies, then does a double take. "No, wait, shit. I'm sorry, Robbie. I don't know why I brought his body here. Seemed like a good idea at the time. In my defense, I didn't know you'd be joining us."

"Robbie, uh, really likes fishsticks," Elliot says, face red.

"Yeah, no, I was stupid for thinking you'd spend time apart willingly, it's on me," That Bitch replies. "Anyway, Robbie, I'm, uh, sorry."

Robbie swallows. "Did you go looking for my dad's corpse in the lake, or…?"

"What? Oh, uh, no. No offense, but I kinda had other worries in my mind."

"Right, that's what I thought."

They stare at each other.

"Sooo… Fun conversation starters for the night... Why is my dad's corpse here?"

"Right. That's because I, uh, killed him. But in my defense, he started it."

"That sounds about right," Robbie nods. "What did he do?"

"Oh, you know. Showed up while I was cooking, struck me with tranquilizers, then shoved me into a coffin and threw me in the lake. The usual."

"I thought he was dead," Elliot says, dumbfounded.

"He is now! Better late than never. No, wait. Sorry, Robbie."

"It's okay," Robbie shrugs.

"Man, grandma kinda sucks at this whole murder thing. So many NPCs showed up in the story just to die, and she couldn't even take care of Robert? I thought her vendetta was specifically against the cultists anyway," Elliot says.

"Yeah, I remember I saw her running after Robert during the whole townpocalypse, she had a marlinspike and everything. I guess he just, like, survived being stabbed by a ghost."

"Wow, lame. No, wait. Sorry, Robbie."

Robbie shrugs. "It's okay. I mean, I already assumed he was dead, so it's not, like, news or anything. Also, yeah, your grandma kinda let you down on that one."

Elliot and That Bitch look at each other for a second. "Right. You kids should go into the living room do something appropriate for your age yet couple-y. I will get his body somewhere more hygienic, and then we can, like, properly talk about this."

"Sure, sounds like a plan," Elliot says, already grabbing Robbie's hand.

As if on cue, grandpa shows up. "Hey, kids. Sorry I'm late, I lost track of time. Hope you didn't do anything fishy. Heh. Oh my god, what is that?"

"Fishsticks," all three of them reply at once.

-----

The kids go into the living room, and That Bitch and Arthur debate what to do with the body.

"Maybe we should take it to the police?"

"Right, because cops are totally trustworthy to deal with something like this, particularly in this town," That Bitch replies.

"Touché. Why didn't you just dump him into the lake? People would just assume that he died during the flood like everybody else."

"His face is smashed in by what is clearly a hammer," That Bitch replies.

"And? Cops are stupid, they wouldn't question it."

"Holy fuck, you're so right. Damn."

----

They hand the body over to the body-fishing efforts, who predictably didn't ask anything about it. As a quick goodbye, Robbie said, "rest in piss, dad," before handing over the body. It was really emotional. Elliot put his hand over Robbie's shoulder solemnly and everything.

When they're leaving, they run into Tom, who was also volunteering to help with the efforts before he had to go back to college, because apparently at no point will he ever think he's done enough for strangers he's never met in his life. "Hey, guys, what's up?", he asks.

"Hey Tom. Richard tried to kill me."

"Oh my God, did you die? No, wait. I meant, are you okay?"

That Bitch shrugs. "You should see the other guy."

"Last time one of us said that, the other guy was completely unscathed."

"Last time one of us said that, it was you."

"Unprovoked???"

"Please stop referencing the Karl Marx K-pop Stan Fight every time we talk," That Bitch sighs.

"It fuels me."

"Right. Anyway, do you know where Imogen and Danni are? I kinda figured I should tell the details to you guys in person, and all. Feels weird to announce my almost-murder via text. WikiHow had no tips on how to do that."

"Oh, I know exactly where Danni and Imogen are," Tom says. "I've seen things, That Bitch."

"Good for them, good for them."

"Yeah. We should stop by Danni's place in like, three hours or something, and see if we can give them the details. Speaking of which, why is your grandma so bad at murdering the right people?"

"This is actually the one thing I don't have an answer to."

"Hey, cut Josie some slack," grandpa says.

"She tried to kill you," Tom points out.

"Yeah, but like, mood, you know?", he replies, shrugging.

"Solid point."

----

They get to Danni's house three hours later, as agreed, and knock on the door lightly to let them know they are there, and still See Things.

"Oh my god, Tom, again???," Danni screams, throwing an embarrassing capybara plushie at him.

"I should be the one saying that!! How are you back at it already??"

"'Back'?" Danni asks, frowning.

"He thinks we stopped at some point, babe," Imogen explains, with the patience of someone talking to a toddler.

"Oh, like, for snacks?"

"No, because we'd be tired or something. Like, for a few hours."

"Damn, lame. What do you think we are, 70?"

"I think you are very naked and making no move to fix that," That Bitch intervenes.

"Oh, right! Sorry, sorry," Imogen says, startling to hustle to find her clothes in the middle of the mess of the living room.

"You come into my house, you make Imogen put clothes on," Danni grumbles, pretending that she's looking for her bra, which is right in front of her and also bright yellow.

"Sorry, it's kind of an emergency. Richard, uh, tried to kill me."

"Yeah, but did you die?"

"Danni!," Imogen says, clearly going for a scolding tone, which is completely undermined by the way she's giggling at her antics.

"What? He looks fine to me. I'm sure Richard can wait a few more hours before we start looking for him again, or whatever."

"A few more hours?" Tom asks, shocked.

"Actually, I killed Richard already," That Bitch replies.

"Well, what the fuck are you doing here then? The case is closed. We'll see you tomorrow!" Danni says, shushing them out of the room.

"Tomorrow?" Tom squeaks.

----

Tom and That Bitch stare at each other as the door locks behind them. "I need more stamina," Tom says, pouting.

"Personally, I just broke a coffin while underwater, so I think I'm good."

"Damn bro, that's crazy."

"Well, you know how Fridays are."

"True. Did you guys have your fishsticks, at least?"

"Yeah."

"Cool. So, should we play videogames, or?"

"Sounds like a plan."

And that's that. Well, at least it was quick.

#it lives #it lives beneath #ilb #imogen wescott #danni asturias #tom sato #elliot vance #robbie sutcliffe #richard sutcliffe #dannimogen #it lives anthology #crack #im rlly on my bullshit huh

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horansqueen · 4 years

Text

You & Me : chapter 10

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.2k // 4.4k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes: i know Louis said it was his least favorite song on his album but it was too perfect so i had to use it. also, if you get the movie reference, youre amazing lmao! thanks for all the love, i hope you guys enjoy this chapter and that you’re not getting tired of this

requests! : added a few and ill post them but i didnt add ALL the things written in the asks just because it didn’t fit, i hope its okay! if you read there will be very tiny spoilers :)

Chapter 10 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

I quickly left after he turned away from me to walk to his car. Not because I wanted to leave but because his words had brought inside me a few sensations I felt guilty to feel. Hope, definitely. Happiness, probably. And also an intense relief that I couldn't explain. I felt relieved that he thought we were worth it. I felt relieved knowing that our friendship still surpassed any other relationship in his life, including his girlfriend. I felt happy that he was not going to give up and hopeful that we could go back to being close. That too, I felt guilty to feel. Would that hurt Dylan? He was already so understanding and sweet with me, he didn't deserve his fiance to lie to him, or even omit to tell him things.

I parked in front of my house and noticed Louis' car was there but I remained sitting behind the wheel a bit longer. Louis was there and I could talk to him. This is exactly what I needed yet, I couldn't find the courage to walk inside and sit with him. Perhaps I was not ready to let out all of this out loud because I knew it would make it even more real than it already was. Telling someone else was going to hit hard, I knew it.

I breathed in before pushing on the door but Louis was nowhere in sight. I frowned but took my shoes off and decided to walk to his room. The music was on, the door was closed, and I felt my heart skip a beat, hoping he was not with his girlfriend. I licked my lips before biting the bottom one and knocked at the door three times.

"Louis?"

The music stopped and it took only a few seconds for the door to open. His lips curled into a smirk and he leaned against the door frame, raising his eyebrows at me in a suggestive manner.

"Heyy, where did my queen spend the night?"

"Louis, I need to talk to you." I admitted, walking past him and inviting myself inside, ignoring his question.

"That bad, huh?" he chuckled a bit, closing the door behind us and turning around to look at me as I sat on his bed. "Did you let him fuck you into oblivion? Meaning that you totally forgot that you were both taken and that he had shattered your heart into millions of tiny pieces?"

I groaned and grimaced, letting myself fall on the bed, lying down on my back as my legs were still hanging from the bed. I grabbed his pillow and pressed it on my face before letting out a muffled scream. It took only a few seconds until he grabbed the pillow roughly and pushed it away on the bed.

"Did you really sleep with him?" he asked in a soft tone, looking down at me before I shook my head. "Did you two kiss?" Once again, I shook my head. "Then what's wrong?"

I let my eyes roam on Louis' face and licked my lips. I didn't want to say it, the words seemed to be stuck in my throat, but keeping them inside was starting to hurt physically. I just didn't know if it would hurt more after they came out...

"Say it, you know you can trust me." Louis expressed in a low and gentle tone, making me lick my lips again.

He didn't understand that the problem was not him hearing it, it was me admitting it. He kept looking at me, his eyes roaming on my face slowly, and I focused on the way he blinked, the way he smelled, the way he made me feel..

"I love him." I breathed so low I wasn't even sure I had heard myself. "I'm in love with Niall."

My best friend didn't show an ounce of surprise. Instead, he sent me a small smile and nodded, still looking down at me. I pressed my lips together, trying to keep the tears inside, but I felt them fill my eyes and did everything I could not to blink. I could pretend that seeing Niall made all my feelings come back to the surface but the only thing seeing Niall again made me do was realize that I never stopped loving him.

"And you love Dylan, too?" he asked, making me nod. "Okay, if you spend your life with Dylan, will you miss Niall?"

I held my breath, feeling my whole body throb at his question. He knew that answer, didn't he? Because he would always miss Eleanor if he was with someone else, that was a given. In fact, that was not even worth asking.

"Alright." he added, as if he read the answer in my mind. "If you spend your life with Niall, would you miss Dylan?"

I felt my eyes get bigger and I knew Louis was trying to read my answer on my face. He ended up just sighing low and tilting his head a bit.

"It's not about love, you know." I just replied, trying to avoid a question I ignored the answer of. "It takes more than love. A lot more. " I paused. "It was so much easier when it was only you and I."

This time, his lips curled into a smirk and he raised his eyebrows at me, moving his face slightly closer.

"You forget fast, my queen." he pointed out, booping my nose gently and making my lips curl slightly. "We were both miserable, shagging each other to get affection and orgasms but never really reaching the happiness we were longing for. We struggled so much, we've come so far."

"I know." I admitted, hearing my voice crack despite how low it was. "But we had each other."

"We still do." he replied, smiling fondly at me for a few seconds as I tried to contain my tears. "Wait a second, I want to show you something."

He quickly got off the bed and I sat up, looking at him. He searched through his stuff and I frowned when he grabbed a disk and finally, my lips curl.

"A CD? What is this? 2005?"

Louis chuckled, his back still facing me. "Oh shut up! I just wanted to be sure it wouldn't be leaked before it was supposed to. I don't trust cellphones. Or people, really."

This time, I laughed and shook my head. I knew what he meant, I also had a hard time to trust people. I used to be the type who would trust everyone and get hurt all the time. I guess the bad and manipulative persons I had met in my life had changed me.

Louis came back and sat next to me as a song started. The melody came to my ears but was quickly followed by his voice, bringing a sensation of comfort inside me. I knew Louis had worked a lot on his album and the fact that he was ready to share a song with me meant a lot more than he probably thought.

"You say to me your jeans don't fit You don't feel pretty and it's hard to miss I wish that you could see my point of view As someone staring back at you On Friday night when we're all out I turn to you and you're looking down And you don't wanna dance I know you love to dance You never stop given half the chance

Just keep your head up, love, keep your head up Don't hide away, don't ever change Keep your head up love, keep your head up Don't look away, don't look away"

I turned to him and sent him a smile, reaching for his hand and grabbing it in mine. I didn't know why but that song did something to me. I loved the way it seemed like he was talking to the person listening with a soft voice but it's only when I heard the chorus that I held my breath.

"'Cause everybody's looking at you now My, oh, my I guess some queens don't need a crown And I know why Even when your tears are falling down Still somehow You're perfect now"

He probably noticed my eyes getting bigger and knew I was asking myself questions because he simply nodded and squeezed my fingers tighter. I felt myself tear up and swallowed hard.

"You never do but if you asked me to I'd tell the truth lying next to you 'Cause you're the only one When it's said and done You make me feel like being someone good to you Even at your worst You steal the scene and it's unrehearsed Don't you wanna dance, just a little dance? I'll never stop given half the chance"

My lips finally parted and he sent me a fond smile, bringing his other hand on mine just as the bridge started.

"Every insecurity Like a neon sign As bright as day If you knew what you were to me You would never try to hide away"

Despite trying hard, I couldn't help it and started crying. I didn't even reach my face to wipe the tears off, I just sobbed low as I stared at him and gently, he brought one of his hands to my cheeks and brushed his thumb on them as I sniffed.

"'Cause everybody's looking at you now My, oh, my I guess some queens don't need a crown And I know why Even when your tears are falling down Still somehow You're perfect now"

We remained silent for a few minutes as I let the information sink in. Louis had told me his whole album would be based on his feelings for his girlfriend, and he had started writing it before he got back with her, that I knew, but I never thought he'd take the time to write one for me. I never thought I inspired him enough to get a whole song written about me. I didn't really believe I was interesting enough but the truth was, this song was beautiful, and it was mine.

"Thank you." I whispered, knowing my voice would break if I talked louder.

I swallowed my tears again but it started hurting and I felt my eyes flutter, letting more tears fall.

"At first, I wanted to bring you with me when I recorded it, but I decided it would be better if you were the first one to hear the final product." He stared at me a few seconds before moving his head slightly. "Come on."

I slipped my arms around his chest and leaned my head on him as he wrapped his arms around me. I closed my eyes and we remained in each other's arms for a few minutes before he gently fondled my back.

"I don't think you realize how big of an impact you had on my life, Liv." he continued. "You were there for me in a moment where I thought I had no one. You stuck by me, and you.. I never properly thanked you for calling El on that night."

I pulled away and looked in his eyes, sending a small but sad smile.

"You were there for me too, and I'll never forget that, Lou." I pointed out, looking down at my hands as I played with his fingers. "I mean, I had expected you to drop me and I wouldn't have blamed you. Niall's like a brother to you and you two have been through so much.. that comes first. I feel extremely lucky."

"There was no reason for me to choose between you and him. I took care of you because you were the one who needed me, and because you're my best friend."

"I was pathetic." I chuckled, shaking my head.

"You were hurt. We both were. And despite that, we helped each other. You realize that doesn't happen often, right? Normally, two persons going through the same thing can understand each other, but can't help each other. But you and I? We did both. We're invincible!"

This time, I laughed and licked my lips, nodding a bit. He was right, we went through so much together and somehow, we had helped each other out of misery in our own way. I had found my desire to live back with him... because of him, and the relationship I had with him was unique.

I thought about Niall and about how our relationship used to be unique, too. Perhaps, it still was and always would be, but I missed how it used to be. I missed how it used to be so easy between us and how nothing was awkward. I missed our talks, the fun we used to have, the inside jokes that made us laugh so hard that we couldn't breathe. And I missed him as a person, him as a best friend, him as a boyfriend. I knew I shouldn't live in the past but I couldn't help it. I couldn't stop thinking about going back to how happy we used to be together.

"Did you tell El about that song?" I asked cautiously, suddenly scared it would cast a chill between me and her.

"Mmhm, yea, she said it was okay." Louis tried to reassure me before chuckling. "Most of the album is about her so, she doesn't care."

I didn't want to say it out loud but I was actually jealous of his relationship with Eleanor. They were meant for each other and the way they loved each other was something I used to have but didn't anymore. I used to believe Niall and I shared the same kind of bond and love that Louis shared with his girlfriend but that time was over, and I couldn't help but think it was unfair.

"Okay, enough with this cheesy shit." he just said, hitting his own thighs slightly. "We're spending the evening together, okay? Pizza and poker. Like we used to do except this time, we can bet more money because you joined the rich asses club!"

I rolled my eyes and we both got up before I followed him to the kitchen.

"My ass is still as poor as it used to be, haven't seen my first check yet." I argued, raising my nose up.

"No problem, you can bet your supply of cookies!"

"Ah Ha! No way!"

He laughed more as he called the pizza while I grabbed a few beers in the fridge and got the cards. We sat exactly how we always did and he opened my beer, handing it to me before opening his and taking a sip from it. It was almost like a well rehearsed choreography and I smiled as he shuffled the cards. Quickly, he dealt them and I looked at those I got in my hands before he started talking again, grabbing a cigarette and lighting it up.

"So." he mumbled, taking his cigarette out of his mouth and breathing out the smoke on the side to make sure it didn't go near me. "What are you gonna do? Are you gonna tell Niall that you love him?"

I chuckled and raised my eyebrows, discarding two cards and glancing up at him.

"No." I let out firmly. "I'm getting married."

Louis stopped moving and after a while I looked up at him. He was staring at me and I could read a bunch of questions in his eyes. I grabbed a cookie from the box and put it in the middle of the table, trying to ignore the way he was looking at me but after a while, I just couldn't anymore.

"Okay Louis, say what you want to say." I let out with a sigh. "You normally don't keep it in so, throw it my way."

"When you say you're getting married, you mean you're getting married to Niall in a few years, that's what you mean, right? Because darling, marrying a man if you've got an other man in your heart, that's just fookin' unfair."

"I love Dylan." I argued, leaning against my chair.

"You love Dylan but you're in love with Niall." he replied a bit louder. "He's the one who's got your heart. He's got a hold on it that no one else ever did and probably ever will. You know it, I know it, and you know what? Dylan will realize it at some point. So you either try to find a way to get completely over Niall, or-"

"Or what? Or I give up the only chance I have to be happy with someone?" I cut him, my tone getting a bit harsh. "It's not my fault I fell in love with Niall, it's not my fault he broke my heart, and it's not my fault he came back! Why am I always the one who's got to give up everything when all i'm trying to do is survive and move on!"

I was on the verge of tears again and I shut my eyes tight, trying not to literally burst in front of my best friend. I loved Niall, I really did, but he was dating someone else. Yes, we had almost kissed a few times and yes, he told me that our friendship was worth saving, but that didn't mean he still had feelings for me. It didn't mean he wanted to be with me again. It didn't mean he wouldn't break my heart again.

"I'm sorry." Louis finally said after a few seconds of silence. "I know you're not ready to trust him and I shouldn't insist."

"Louis, I can't be with someone who doesn't want me." I pointed out after calming down, putting an other cookie on the table as he did the same. "Just because he wanted to kiss me doesn't mean this is love. Lust, maybe. But love is a strong word. He regrets hurting me and he apologized. That was more than what I expected."

"Of course he still loves you."

I looked up at Louis and felt my shoulders fall as I sighed.

"I don't trust Niall's feelings, not after what he did. He probably can't even trust his own feelings, you know?"

"He grew up, he probably learned too, like we did."

We heard the doorbell and I felt suddenly saved. Louis jumped up and sent me a bit smile before rushing to the door., I closed my eyes and breathed in and out deeply. Perhaps Louis was right and Niall still had feelings for me, but I wasn't sure what they were, or what his intentions were. I knew we should have a conversation but I was not mentally prepared for it. I didn't feel strong enough to go through it. I didn't want to hear how he really felt because no matter what it would be, it would either hurt me or force me into making a choice. I was not ready for neither.

---

I rushed to the movie theater knowing I was a few minutes late and when I looked up, I noticed Niall waiting for me in the middle of the place, his hands in his pockets. His lips curled when our eyes met and I stopped in front of him, out of breath, my hands on my knees. He laughed and bent down to look at me and my heart skipped a beat when I realized he looked amazing, even from that angle. Who does that? No one.

"Out of breath?" he laughed. "Maybe you should get into shape? How about coming out for a run with me a few times a week?"

"I don't think that a person should run unless he's being chased." I just pointed out, moving up and making him smile even more.

"Okay, an other movie quote." he laughed as I tilted my head.

"Casey and I've got a lot in common."

"Just say you like Elijah Wood."

"Who doesn't?" I rhetorically asked with a frown, a small smile playing on my lips.

We decided on a movie and I felt him grab my fingers as we walked in the hall. I held my breath but he quickly pulled on my hand and made me twirl around. It brought a bunch of memories to my mind and I let out a laughter and squeezed his fingers before letting go of his hand.

We found a spot in the back and I felt suddenly nervous, playing with the fabric of my pants. I knew friends went to the movies together but I didn't want to make all of this awkward. The movie started almost immediately and we didn't really have time to talk but I felt at ease around him, the way I used to. It's only around the middle of the movie that I felt his hand on my knee. He started drawing shapes on my jeans and my lips parted. My heart skipped a beat and I glanced down at his fingers. I didn't know how I should react which resulted in me not doing anything. After a while, I couldn't focus on the movie anymore and closed my eyes, concentrating on how I could still feel his touch even after his fingers were away. The shapes were random... a circle.. an infinite sign (or was it the number 8?).. simple lines... but I never wanted him to stop. I felt my inner thighs start throbbing but weirdly, it didn't feel sexual at all.

I jumped slightly when they turned on the lights again and expected him to take his hand back but it lingered a few more seconds on my knee before he got up and extended it to me. I grabbed it without thinking but let go of his fingers as we walked out only to push them in the back pockets of my jeans.

"Enjoyed the movie?"

I turned my head to look at him and nodded slowly.

"Oh, uhm yea, I did." I sort of lied. "Did you?"

"Was alright."

We walked out and stood in front of each other as everyone else walked by and I couldn't help but glance around. I felt nervous and it was even worse when he took a step closer to me as someone passed really close of him. He looked down at me and I pressed my lips together but we kept silent for a while. To anyone who would take the time to study us, we most likely seemed on a first date but it was so much more complicated than that. And so much deeper, too.

"D'you.. maybe.. want to come home? Food and beer, perhaps?" I proposed with a shrug. "Louis and El are probably there, we could do something with them?"

His lips curled and he nodded. "Yea, yea, that's great, i'll meet you there."

I watched him and held my breath at how beautiful he was. Now that I had confessed out loud that I was still in love with him, it was really all I could think about. It hurt so much and at the same time, it was a relief to admit it to myself.

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and took it off only to see a text message from Dylan. My heart skipped a beat like I was doing something wrong and I licked my lips nervously.

'Hey babe, I miss you, I hope we can talk soon.'

I started nibbling on my bottom lip as I typed an answer quickly. I missed him too and I had the feeling that if he was here, it would be easier not to fall even more in love with Niall. Or at least, I could always be reminded of what I could lose.

"Boyfriend?"

Niall's voice took me by surprise and I looked up, sending him a smile.

"Yea, it's the first time we're separated for so long so, we're not really used to it." I expressed with a shrug. "Plus, his days are intensive so when his day is over, he's exhausted and he needs to go to bed because it all starts again on the next day."

"That's why I brought you on tour with me last time." he pointed out. "I hated being away from you."

My lips parted for a few seconds as I kept looking at him and finally, my lips just curled. I hated being away from him too. I could easily remember all the times we were separated and it was horrible, even if we were only friends at that time. I wanted to mention to him that we had been separated for more than a year and also ask him how he felt about it, but I didn't dare.

"I couldn't go with him." I let out, regretting it immediately after. "I was... I'm busy."

He nodded, looking down, and I had the feeling I had hurt him but I was not sure how. I felt something stir in my stomach and cleared my throat.

"Okay well, i'll meet you at my place, you remember where it is?"

His eyes met mine and he smiled again before nodding.

"Mmhm, i'll see you there."

He brought his hand to my arm and I held my breath. His fingers were warm, making it obvious that my arm was cold. His skin against mine, despite my expectations, made me shiver and once again, my lips parted as my heart jumped in my chest. Something in his facial expression changed, too, and deep down, I wished it was the contact of his fingertips on my skin that shocked him, too.

I can't remember the walk to my car, and barely the ride home, but when I parked my car, Niall was already there, waiting for me next to his car, watching something on his phone. I got out and walked to him, a bit sad that his gaze didn't meet mine.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

It took a few more seconds for him to look up but when he did, I knew he had seen something that would bother me. He sighed and turned his phone my way to let me read the title of an online article someone had probably sent him. I noticed the picture first : Niall and I holding hands at the movie theater and the irony made me grimace. Didn't we get papped like that when he was dating Maya and I was with Harry? My eyes finally moved to the title and once again, I held my breath.

'Our favorite couple is back!'

That's when I knew we were both in deep shit. Again.

#niall horan #niall horan fluff #niall horan smut #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #niall horan writing #niall horan story #my fanfics #yam #i feel like it sucks and no one will like it :X

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aghasexxy · 5 years

Text

ONE WOMAN SHOW PT. 2 | Im Jaebum

Pairing: Reader x Im Jaebum

Words: 1688

Genre: Smut

Warnings: Stripping/ Teasing

Summary: you work at the most famous strip club in Los Angeles and you have customers that come in asking for you all the time. Including one mysterious man whose father is the head of the K-Town mob. And who closes down the club once a week to discuss “business”.

The sound of the city spills into the club on a very packed Friday night. The last Friday of 2019. The last Friday of the decade. Our doors have been open for less than an hour and the club is already filled to the brim with men and women unable to walk steadily. I look across the club from backstage, laughing at the chaos out there. But those people don’t matter to me. Only one person does. And he’s nowhere in sight.

“Y/N,” I turn around to see my best friend Wendy. She’s grinning ear to ear as usual. She grabs my face with her delicate hands. “Could you pretend to be excited please? This is the final Friday of the decade!” She squeals like a kid in Disneyland. “I promise I’m excited. I’m just expecting someone,” I look back towards the bar. “Would that someone be JB?” I look back at her with a smirk and roll my eyes. “Y/N! You need to stop fucking

around and just go for it! He obviously wants you!” A whistle breaks through the sound of the dancers laughing and chatting. Our boss calls us for a final pep talk before the night truly begins.

“Ladies!,” he exclaims, demanding the attention of every dancer. “First and foremost, welcome to the end of the decade,” we all erupt in hoots, hollers, and applause. “We’ve really kicked ass this year and I’m so proud of all we accomplished. Both on stage and behind the scenes. To say we ended the year off with a bang is an understatement,” he whips out a stack of cash from his back pocket, snickering at everyone’s slack jaws. I stand arms crossed, completely unimpressed. “We helped sell a lot of product this year, all without any raids. Good work!” We all clap and talk amongst ourselves. He gets our attention again. “Okay for tonight, the lineup for the main show is Claire, Denise, Angie, Loren, Tabitha, Wendy, and of course,” I roll my eyes and smile as all the girls look to me and cheer my name. “Our star Y/N!” The room erupts in applause and I try to shush them. “Okay ladies! Go get dressed! We start in 45 minutes!” Applause erupts as we all rush to the dressing room.

I apply setting spray to my face to finish off my makeup look for the night. Looking in the mirror, I am in awe of the work of art I created. Wendy whistles at me from across the room and I giggle. She walks over to my vanity. “Yo mami you got a man?” I turn around. “Wendy why are you like this?!” She shrugs. “I’m pretty sure that whoever wrote the best friend manual included one of the rules to be “hype up your best friend in the most obnoxious way you know how”,” she kisses my cheek. “So that’s what I’m doing!” I stand up and take off my trench coat to show her my outfit of choice. The lights in the room flash which means that the show is about to begin. The girls scatter like roaches and I call Wendy over. “I’m wearing his favorite lingerie tonight for my set,” I say slyly as she grins from ear to ear. “Ahhhh I love that one! You’re gonna be breaking necks tonight for sure! If not his then everyone else’s!”

An hour goes by and Wendy is just now wrapping up her set. A member of the stage crew comes back to the dressing room. “You’re up in 10 Y/N,” I nod and make some final touch ups. Wendy peels around the corner, her hair in her face as she tries to catch her breath. “You killed it out there!,” I yell, running over to hug her. “How was the crowd? Did you see JB?” I pull back and before she can answer, I get called to the stage. On my way out, Wendy gives my ass a nice love tap. “You’ll find out,” she says as I walk to the side stage.

The announcer goes on stage before me and starts my introduction. The audience cease their hoots and hollers so that he can speak. “Ladies and gentleman, we all can admit that nothing is sexier than when we come home after a long day of work and the first thing we see is our significant other walking around in your favorite lingerie set,” men start whistling and I can’t help but blush. “And tonight, for those single, lonely souls, you’ll get to experience that fantasy for the very first time.” The audience erupts in applause along with the other performers watching behind me. I can’t help but just smile. “Y’all have been waiting for her all night! Here she is, our stunning duchess Y/N!” As the audience loses their minds once again, I let out a breath and stand tall. Here we go.

Wasabi by Little Mix starts to play as I strut on stage. Bills start to fly the moment I come into view and men are on their feet cheering for me. They don’t mean shit to me of course. My eyes scan the room, hoping to lock onto piercing brown ones. I keep smiling as I strut down the catwalk to the pole in the middle. I take off my robe, earning an eruption of applause and whistles. I look out on the floor again when I lock eyes with him. JB. There he was, sitting right in my line of vision. His smirk accompanied with him man spreading in his chair was enough for me to get on my knees right then and there. I twirl around nice and slow, giving him something to look at. He’s probably having a hard time keeping it together right now: his favorite dancer in his favorite lingerie set performing for strangers instead of just him. I press my back against my pole, dropping low in slow motion. My eyes never leave his. Maybe I should punish him for being late, show him who’s boss.The music stops and I receive a standing ovation from the crowd. Everyone was on their feet including him. The MC comes out on stage.

“Wow Y/N! Another show-stopping entrance! You know what time it is! Time to pick a lucky guy in the crowd to give him a lap dance!” The sounds of whoops and hollers at this point are deafening. “Now Y/N, what song would you like to dance to?” I turn to the DJ. “Play Rules by Doja Cat for me, please.” The MC fans his face dramatically as the crowd goes crazy once again. I look back out and see JB. His eyes burn into me like daggers. I know what that look means.

“DJ, if you would,” the MC asks as he scurried offstage. The music starts and my eyes start to wander. I walk onto the floor, locking eyes with every horny middle-aged man I see. I blow kisses, wink, and smile and it’s enough to get tens of hundreds of dollars thrown my way. The floor vibrates from the intense bass in the music and I am locked onto my target. JB looks me up and down as I circle around him. My fingers drag across his broad shoulders and I take a seat on his lap, licking my lips as I lock eyes with him. “You wanna play with me, baby,” he whispers softly to me, my pussy clenching and instantly getting wet. The men around us were cheering JB on and whistling loudly. I stand up and reach out my hand, answering his question with a simple head nod. He snickers and grabs hold, triggering another roar of applause from those watching. We walked back to the stage where a lonely chair sat. The spotlight shines over it as the metal gives off a supernatural glow in the white light. He sits down, not leaving my eyes for one second. “You know the rules sir,” I lean in, his cologne overwhelming my senses. “No touching,” I whisper sensually. I stand up and turn around. I look at him as I bend over, my ass being the only thing he has his eyes on. I come back up slowly and smack my ass. I can’t help myself from smiling at the evil mug on his face. This is torture for him. He wants to wreck me to no end, I know he does. But house rules say otherwise. I strut back over to him, kicking his left foot out. “Spread your legs,” I demand. I climb onto his lap and I feel a pulsating sensation from under me. “You like that?” I ask sweetly, like I’m not torturing him. I slowly start to grind on his clothed dick and he lets out the deepest moan I’ve ever heard in my life. I feel myself getting wet at the sound of it. “Yeah daddy?,” I whisper, grinding him a little faster. I stop and lean all the way back. My hands graze the ground along with my head as our crotches stay glued together. I come back up slowly, my breast threatening to pop out into his face. I come all the way up and the song is over. The crowd cheers and I get a standing ovation. He leans in closer to me and our noses barely graze each other’s. “I’m going to make a mess of you Y/N. You’re mine,” I bite my lip and giggle. “I hope that’s a promise, babe.” I wink at JB and stroke his face before turning around to address the audience. “Thank you for coming out tonight everyone! Happy new year!” The crowd yells it back and erupts in applause. I turn back to JB. “Let’s give a big round of applause for my performance partner tonight!” Whistles and claps follow as he walks off stage. I just know by the look in his eye that the next time I see him, he will have his way with me. And I can’t wait.

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sweetestmonotony · 5 years

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I compared niall's albums to shawn’s and WOW

So I always felt like Niall and Shawn were writing about each other but only casually listened to Shawn so I never made any hard connections, but I just went through and listened to/read the lyrics to niall and shawn’s past two albums and WOW. they basically tell the same story but from each other’s different perspectives. SO I went through and wrote a little summary for each song and then compared their albums. Feel free to read or completely ignore!

Shawn: ILLUMINATE 2016

SUMMARY: shawn very much loves this person but he isn’t sure how they feel about him/ he also makes it clear to this person that they can’t actually be together not because he doesn’t love them but because of other unsaid circumstances (i.e. can’t be openly in love with a guy)

There’s nothing holding me back: Confident girl that keeps him guessing, makes him crazy- wants to confess love for her

Ruin: Questioning if the other person thinks about him/remembers their time together, believes he’s the only one for this person but doesn’t know if person feels the same way about him

Mercy: YOU’VE GOT A HOLD ON ME DON’T EVEN KNOW YOUR POWER///EVEN THOUGH YOU DON’T MEAN TO HURT ME YOU KEEP TEARING ME APART//like every lyric of this song screams hopelessly in love with a friend

Treat you better: pining for someone-- again believes he’s the only for this person

Three empty words: sad about a relationship ending/going through difficult time

Don’t be a fool: telling this person that he isn’t worth it “a mess you won’t want to fix,” saying that they both love each other but circumstances keep them apart

Like this: Trying to move on from relationship but cant stop thinking about this person/ still picks up the phone for them I CAN TRY TO STOP IT ALL I LIKE HANDS DOWN IVE LOST THIS FIGHT CANT HIDE THE TRUTH –I read this is as he cant hide his feelings any longer-he is definitely in love and can’t hide it

No Promises: does not want to complicate relationship/ can’t make promises because there will be consequences

Lights on: wants to have sex—biggest takeaway is another mention of being in a hotel, lots of hotel mentions from shawn and at least one from niall (meet each other in other cities)

Honest: can’t give person what they need/there is no other person but shawn cannot be with them---extenuating circumstances once again in the way

Patience: person can’t make up their mind about shawn/keeps him guessing about their relationship/shawn knows this person makes him crazy but he keeps coming back

Bad reputation: this person has been with other people/shawn doesn’t care and claims to know more about this person better than others

Understand: trying to find peace/acceptance with himself

Hold on: basically love song for his dad—again about finding himself/peace

Roses: wants to know if this other person loves him -- he needs to know

Niall: FLICKER 2017

SUMMARY: in love with this person who constantly pulls away, niall is always reassuring and wants them to be together despite things that try to keep them apart, including the other person’s worries and doubts

She’s on the loose: alluring woman, she’ll meet niall wherever, loves attention

This town: can’t move on from a loving relationship

Seeing blind: someone took him by surprise/he can finally see

Slow hands: they both want each other

Too much too ask: can’t forget about this person/wonders if this person thinks about him or stills loves him-imagines this person coming back to him

Paper Houses: they tried to hold on to their love but just couldn’t-outside circumstances/ he could feel this person slipping away—can’t forget them

Since we’re alone: knows this person is hiding feelings—they are afraid/running—niall tries to reassure them, tells them he is trustworthy and will not break their heart

Flicker: relationship is rocky but he is still hopeful/not giving up—begging this person not to leave him

Fire away: niall can tell that this person is upset (similar to since we’re alone)/again tells this person that they can trust him—person keeps him at a distance

You and me: promises this person that they will end up together even though things are against them/asks this person to wait for him

On my own: embraces his being alone/insists he’s happy on his own

Mirrors: reassures girl who is unsure of herself and who wants love

The tide: don’t let the tide wash us away!!! He doesn’t want their relationship to end, something always tries to keep them apart but niall wants them to stay together/wants to hide them away

Illuminate VS Flicker

Both love and care about each other but Shawn feels the pressure of society much more than niall, making him always pull away in the end. This leads the other person (niall) to most likely hook up with/hang out with other people confusing Shawn. Shawn constantly asking for reassurance that this person loves him, even though he cannot make any promise. On flicker Niall feels this person (shawn) pulling away and tries to be there for them/comfort them and promises that he can be trusted. Very much wants to keep their relationship together and reiterates this multiple times.

Shawn: SHAWN MENDES 2018

SUMMARY: Shawn and this person (niall) have decided to be friends but inevitably hook up with each other/ become friends with benefits but it is not easy because they obviously love each other but feel they can’t actually be in a relationship with each other. They both try to date others, causes jealousy/more confusion but makes shawn realizes this is the only person for him.

In my blood: obviously depressed/upset “just take her home and you’ll feel better” “Its isn’t in my blood”—needs someone to help him

Nervous: is always nervous/excited about this person—knows this person wants them too

Lost in japan: LOOKING THROUGH YOUR TIMELINE ALL I SEE IS RAINBOWS –KNOW THIS IS MORE THAN A FRIENDSHIP—will fly anywhere to meet them for one night i.e. friends with benefits

Where were you in the morning: Person did not stay the morning after but made shawn think there was more to their relationship

Like to be you: fighting with this person—trying to understand them/ still loves them and wishes things were better

Fallin all in you: only supposed to be one night but they’re falling in love/making him rethink himself “Baby you are bringing out a different kind of me, there’s no safety net that’s underneath im free fallin all in you, FELL FOR MEN WHO WERENT HOW THEY APPEAR trapped up on a tightrope now we’re here WE’RE FREE fallin all in you”

Particular taste: YOU’LL BE BEGGING HER FOR MERCY

Why: every lyric in this song screams niall but to sum up: they know they both love each other but neither will speak first/ I PRETEND THAT IM NOT READY WHY DO WE PUT EACH OTHER THROUGH HELL/WHEN I HEAR YOU SING, IT GETS HARD TO BREATH CANT HELP BUT THINK EVERY SONGS ABOUT ME —so obviously this is about a person who is a singer/songwriter! (NIALL)—AND EVERY LINE EVERY WORD THAT I WRITE YOU ARE THE MUSE IN THE BACK OF MY MIND—no further comments but this song is for real and he only wrote it with two other people SO

Because I had you: shawn is trying to move on but says he will never love anyone else/ takes someone else out to all the places they had been too (trying to recreate their relationship with someone else but it doesn’t work)

Queen: angry at this person for brushing him off or pretending like they don’t have history

Youth: society won’t get him down

Mutual: person keeps him guessing—wants all of this person but doesn’t know if this person can commit/ believes it’s a game for this other person

Perfectly wrong: says this person is “perfectly wrong” for him but still loves them anyway, they were never gonna work out

When you’re ready: only ever thinks of this person, ANYTIME YOURE READY IM WAITING (this makes me think of you and me when niall asks the person to wait for him, you and me is the last song on flicker standard addition and when you’re ready is the last song on this album= an answer to niall’s question) –shawn tries to be with others but is always disappointed because it is not this person

BONUS: IF I CAN’T HAVE YOU 2019

Shawn obsesses over this person—reads their texts constantly, only writes songs about this one person/only wants this one person CANT MOVE ON IF WE’RE STILL GONNA TALK/IM GOOD AT KEEPING MY DISTANCE/EVERYTHING MEANS NOTHING IF I CANT HAVE YOU—this song screams in love with his friend he hooks up with ALSO its co -written with the same two people he wrote Why with

Niall: HEARTBREAK WEATHER 2020

SUMMARY: (keep in mind that niall said to listen to this album start to finsh to “feel the storyline”)

Niall is in love with this person and wants to be with them forever but the other person pulls away. They both see other people but niall can’t get over them. In the meantime, they continue to hook up with each other but niall can’t change the fact that he loves this person. He finally comes to the conclusion that he wants to be with them and asks them to take him back because he’s still in love with them. This album really feels like it tells the whole story of niall and shawn’s relationship start to finish.

Heartbreak weather: niall feels happy/content with this person

Black and White: IN ALL YOUR GORGEOUS COLORS/ I WANT THE WORLD TO WITNESS WHEN WE FINALLY SAY I DO—promises that he’ll never love anyone else, pictures them together when they’re old

Dear patience: trying to tell this person how he really feels/is nervous but needs to say how he feels

Bend the rules: worried this person is seeing someone else, is worried/upset and misses them, feels crazy

Small talk: Hooks up with someone else SHE’S NOT MY BABY SHE’S GOT THE WRONG CRAZY

Nice to meet ya: Meets someone new, wants to take them out

Put a little love on me: thinks about this person, wonders what they’re doing/ how they are -- ARE YOUR TEARS FALLING DOWN WHEN THE LIGHTS ARE LOW ANOTHER FRIDAY NIGHT TRYNA PUT ON A SHOW (shawn playing concerts/ being sad about niall in between performances) WE WROTE AND WE WROTE TILL THERE WERE NO MORE WORDS (both writing songs about each other) heartbroken about not being with person

Arms of a stranger: he was in love with this person and they left him with nothing, he’s “in the arms of a stranger but why do I think of you?”

Everywhere: Tried to forget about this person but sees them everywhere

Cross your mind: ITS YOUR SHOW IM JUST WATCHING IT/ IF YOU LEAVE AND DON’T COME BACK TOMORROW AT LEAST YOU CAME TONIGHT – friend with benefit—knows this person sees others and believes this person doesn’t know how much they affect him—loves this person anyway, person says they love them too but he doesn’t know how serious they are

New angel: is always thinking about this person and is looking for a distraction TO SAVE ME FROM MYSELF I NEED A NEW ANGEL—hopes this new angel will help him forget the other person

No judgement: (makes me think of since we’re alone and fire away) will not judge this person and is here for them/ I GET US BREAKFAST IN THE MORNING OR YOU CAN SLIP OUT IN THE NIGHT/ EVEN THOUGH WE DON’T TALK FOR A COUPLE OF MONTHS ITS LIKE WE DIDN’T LOSE ANY TIME I CAN BE YOUR LOVER OR YOUR SHOULDER TO CRY ON/ I HOPE WE NEVER CHANGE EVEN THOUGH WE’LL BOTH MOVE ON AGAIN ILL KEEP YOUR SECRET SAFE TILL WE FIND OURSELVES ALONE AGAIN—he obviously has a lot of history with this person and knows things about them, is always there for them, they may not see each other all the time (on again off again) but they always love each other and come back to one another

San Fransisco: wants to be with this person but thinks they can’t last—makes up his mind to be with this person and asks them to take him back/ SAY IM DONE RUNNING FROM THE ONE I WANT SO BAD

Still: Niall is sorry for what he has done but wants to make it work with this person, he is still in love with them/they have been through a lot and broken up but have come so far and IF HONESTY MEANS TELLING YOU THE TRUTH WELL IM STILL IN LOVE WITH YOU/ tells them it’ll be alright

SHAWN MENDES VS HEARTBREAK WEATHER

On each album they sing about becoming friends with benefits with someone they love. They both try to move on and see other people but only ever think about each other. They both come to the conclusion that they want to be with each other despite all the hard times they have been through.

*Extra side note: Teddy Geiger co-wrote almost every song on illuminate and shawn mendes and now co wrote a few songs on heartbreak weather. also, niall and shawn have the same group of people (different groups of people for each of them) that they write songs with on their albums which makes me think that these people know the storylines and are people they trust/maybe confide in.

#I just spent like three hours of my life doing this #but it was necessary #I'm honestly shook and screamed like five times while doing this cause its #more real than i thought #I only kinda joked about them being together but NOW im #fairly certain theyre a thing #I could be totally wrong but i dont think i am #shiall

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brashierc · 5 years

Text

Baby Brash

July 13th, his 20th birthday. That night was the reason why you were here today. If that night wouldn’t have happened you wouldn’t have peed on a stick this morning, it wouldn’t have been positive and you wouldn’t be sitting on the bed at your OBGYN’s clinic awaiting for her results.

You’ve been best friends with Connor since you both were 7. That was 13 years of friendship. 13 years of listening to him go on about photography, 13 years of supporting him and his dreams no one else really supported when he first got started in high school.

It was also 13 years of being asked how long you two had been in a relationship.

Girls and boys can be best friends without falling in love. Or well, that’s what you always said to everyone when they asked. You’d been in love with Connor since you were 17, but you knew he’d never feel the same, so you kept that feeling pushed way back into your brain.

Connor was there for you through every boyfriend, just like you were for his girlfriends. The heartbreak and the first time discussions after the fact.

“Alright,” The Doctor walks in after tapping on the wooden door with her knuckle twice. “So your positive was correct, you are pregnant.”

You sighed, shoulders sinking. “Really?”

“Yep, really really pregnant.” She smiles, handing you a few brochures. “Let’s go over your options.”

You look up with wide eyes, horror running through your veins and emotions.

“Let’s not, thanks Doc, but I’m already attached to this kid, and if you knew the Dad you would be too.”

She smiles, nodding but telling you to take the brochures just in case.

She refers you to one of her colleagues who’s an Obstetrician with her practice and can take you through your pregnancy and birth.

You take the information she gave you and leave with a small smile and a polite wave goodbye to her front office receptionist. Once you’re back in your car you let the new totally settle in.

You were having a baby, with Connor, at age 19 and 20. Super cool.

On Connor’s birthday everything went a little crazy. Shawn threw a rager, wanting to celebrate his newest addition to his team, and his friend who was turning the big 2 0. He flew you out to where they were so you could be there to celebrate and surprise Connor.

Everyone went a little crazy, everyone.

Brian was so blacked out that he took Alessia back to his room with him, forgot that he invited her in, and called Shawn from the bathroom freaking out that she’d followed him home. (Even though we were all in the same hotel)

Shawn was the only one that didn’t go hard. Knowing he had shows and other obligations like filming music videos and meeting up with Chance the Rapper. He supervised, and not well, but had a blast watching everyone be stupid and make fools of themselves.

Connor was a clingy needy drunk, so throughout the night he just became more and more glued to your side. He hadn’t seen you in months, and missed you so much. It all started when he wanted to dance to the slow songs with you, hands on your hips, holding you close. You fell into his embrace, missing being held in such a way, and feeling so safe with Connor. He planted a few kisses to your neck, and one just behind your ear learning very quickly that that was your weak spot.

After you let out a shaky moan of his name, tucking your fingers into his hair, you were a goner. You both quickly found your way back to his room, falling on the bed nakedly exploring the other between the sheets.

By morning? You both swore to never speak of it again, pretend like nothing happened, and move on. Everything was normal, it literally was like nothing happened. He still picked on you, you still gave him shit in front of the guys, but you both were still there for the other in ways no one else could be.

You clicked on his contact; ‘Bri’s lil bitch C David Brash”

Brian really changed Connor’s name in your phone to the best thing you’d ever seen, you wouldn’t dare change it.

“Whattup?” He answered on the third ring, and suddenly, you’re emotional.

“Hey,” You choke out, looking around trying to distract your brain.

“What’s wrong?” His side of the phone shuffles, and becomes marginally quieter.

“Nothing,” You whisper, “What are you doing?”

“I’m talking to you, tell me what’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing Con.”

“You’re upset though, I can hear it.”

“When do you come home again?”

“I come home next week, I have to meet my counselor and then register for classes. I get into town on Monday, and I leave Friday.”

You nod, knowing full well he can’t see you. “Can we meet on Monday?”

You need to tell him, and you won’t keep this a secret from him longer than you have too.

“Um yeah, I fly in at like 8, wanna meet for coffee and breakfast or something?”

“Yeah perfect.”

“Okay…..? Ready to tell me what’s wrong yet?” He asks.

You sigh, “I should let you go, you’re probably busy.”

“No, hey,” He protests. “I wanna talk, I miss you.”

You smile, insides running warm when you hear his voice say those words. “I miss you too Baby Brash.”

You can hear him sigh and you can practically see him rolling his eyes. “So you watched the newest video?”

“Of course I did, got your post notifications on.”

“No you don’t.”

“No you’re right, I don’t, I have Shawn’s on.”

At this he laughs, like a snort and everything and it makes you feel good, to be able to get him to laugh like that again, to hear that laugh.

“Brashier, we gotta go!” Brian yells at him in the background.

“You’re literally standing behind me, why you gotta yell?”

“Because I felt like pissing you off.” Brian snickers. “Who you on the phone with? Gots a girlyfriend?” Something must happen on Connor’s side of the phone because suddenly all you can hear is boys yelling.

“Connor that’s the fourth girl you’ve been on the phone with today!”

“There is no hot sex going on over here!”

“PASS THE WEED MAN!”

“Shut the fuck up!” Connor’s voice is back, “Jesus it’s just Y/n, could you…?”

“But we wanna say hi!” Shawn and Brian whine.

You giggle and blush a little at the attention.

Connor shuffles the phone, and then you can barely hear him, he’s really muffled but you make it out. “She’s upset about something, so could you fucking leave for a minute. I was getting her to talk and then you fuckers walked in.” A few seconds later and he’s back crystal clear. “Okay they left, you still there Honey?”

“You didn’t need to kick them out.”

“But I wanna talk to you.”

“They just wanted to say hi.”

“But you’re my best friend.” He whines, “They’d steal all your attention.”

“You need to go, I’ll see you next week okay?”

“Okay, love you kid.” He says softly.

“Love you too Brash.”

He walks in, looking all nerdy cute, face down into his phone.

iMessage from Bri’s lil bitch C David Brash: Im here where u is

“If you ever looked up from your phone you’d know I’m here too Bitch.” You say from your table, laughing when he jumps and looks over at you.

“You scared the shit out of me.” He laughs, smiling really wide when you stand and give him a big hug. “Fuck I missed you Kid.” He sighs into your neck, letting your scent relax his stressed out mind.

“Missed you too.”

He takes the seat across from you, thanking you for the coffee you already had ordered and sat in front of his seat on the table. He takes a sip as you take a deep breath and shut your eyes to give yourself that last push of encouragement.

“Connor?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m pregnant.” You blurt.

It’s then that you realize your eyes are still closed, opening them one at a time to see his reaction. It’s comical almost, the sight of him, jaw dropped, eyes bugging, body frozen.

You give it a moment, a second to really settle into his brain, you needed to do the same when you found out. Hell, you’re still doing that.

He clears his throat, shakes his head a bit, but his eyes continue to flare out at you.

“Excuse me?” He croaks.

“I’m pregnant,” You nod, watching him nod with you. “And it’s yours.”

He hums, and continues to stare at you. You take a sip of your decaf coffee, wincing at the weird taste.

“Fuck man, I don’t know if I can handle 9 months of decaf, that shit is gross as hell.”

This seems to snap Connor out of whatever daze he was in.

“You’re being real right now?” He looks around, “Is Brian here filming me? Is this a prank or something? You got me, you got my reaction, turn it off now.”

You sigh, worried he would think something like that. You just sit there, staring at him.

“You’re being real?!?” He says with persistence in his voice, leaning closer to you.

“That night we swore to never speak of again? Well, we’ll be talking for at least the next 18 years.” You shrug.

He’s still in shock, just staring at you with a glazed over glance. You just nod and smile a little at him, trying to coax him through his shock.

“I-” He gapes, “Um, we...I...condom!”

You giggle, shaking your head at him while rolling your eyes. “Really? That’s what you’re gonna do? Blurt ‘condom’ out like it’ll fix everything?”

“But I used one!” He’s becoming defensive. Snapping at you in ways he’s done in the past when he’s stressed to the brim and can’t control his emotions. You can count the amount of times snapped at you on one hand.

“They’re only 98% effective, if that, Connor. Or maybe it broke or something. It happened, and I’m pregnant.”

“No! We can’t, a baby?”

You take a deep breath, trying to tell yourself that he’s just in shock and that he’s gonna be happy about this, someday. He doesn’t mean the way he’s reacting right now.

“How are you calm right now?” He asks in shrill.

“I don’t know Connor, life happens. It’s not perfect but we’ll figure it out.” You shrug, raising your voice a little to match his level.

“Fucking shit,” He tugs at his hair, face grimancing as he groans.

You sigh, grabbing your purse, collecting your phone and coffee and stand to leave. His head whips up when you stand, and he watches as you straighten out your shorts before starting to walk away.

“No, don’t go.” He pleads.

“Talk to me when this settles Connor. I can’t be here to watch you freak out. My hormones are all sorts of fucked up right now and I’m trying to stay positive about this whole thing but your reaction isn’t helping.”

He gets up and follows you out of the coffee shop, racing to meet you at your car before you can leave.

“Wait, talk to me, please.” He blocks your door so you can’t close it.

You look up, tears in your eyes that tear his heart apart. “We really did turn into Ross and Rachel huh? Just like everyone said throughout high school. Except we won’t end up together, we’ll always be the Ross and Rachel before they got together.”

He shakes his head, “I’m your lobster.”

Connor sits on your couch three days later. This was the first chance he’d been able to actually come over, any other conversations have been over the phone or text message since your meeting at the coffee shop.

It’s kind of awkward, the both of you sitting in silence as you try to not bring up the elephant in the room.

“I’m sorry,” You clear your throat, wincing as you lean forward and start this conversation. “I’m sorry that I up and left you on Monday. That wasn’t cool. I dropped a big ass bomb on you, something we would have never expected in a million years, and then just got up and left you alone. My hormones are whacked out right now but that’s not an excuse. So I’m sorry for being a shitty friend and making you go through that shock alone.”

“Hey,” He shakes his head, turning towards you on the couch, scooting closer. “Don’t be sorry. I was kind of being a jackass. I shouldn’t have flipped out like that.”

You sigh, smiling up at him. “I missed you, a lot.”

His hand falls on top of yours, fingers intertwining. “I missed you so much, you have no idea.” He sighs, letting his eyes rake over you for a moment, imagining what you’ll look like with a baby bump. “How the hell am I supposed to leave for tour?”

“Just go, I’m not due until May. You’ll be back in December, that’s plenty of time.”

“You’re pregnant, I want to be here for appointments, picking out and setting up the crib, cravings, all of it!”

You smile, reaching over and caressing his cheek. “Then talk to Shawn, sit down with Cez, explain it to Brian because he’ll lose his shit if you leave him without a solid reason behind it. We’ll figure it out, and make do.” You shrug.

He nods, leaning into your hand a little. “You always make everything better.”

“That’s because I know you Connor David,” You tap his cheek twice, “I know how to handle you.”

He grins, rolling his eyes before flopping back into the corner of your couch he’s claimed as his. “Have you told your mom yet?” He asks, throwing your fluffy white and black throw blanket over his lap.

“No,” You sigh, kicking your feet up and relax across from him on your sectional. He smirks as you take a breath, reaching over and grabbing your feet to give you a foot massage. “What are you doing?”

“Gotta get used to pampering you, might as well get a head start.” He murmurs. “Are you scared to tell your mom?”

“I mean not really. It’s not the ideal situation I was hoping for when I thought about having kids. But like, I can’t complain. I’m honored to have your kid Con, I think I got lucky when it comes to the baby daddy part of this.”

He tilts his head, looking over at you with a blush on his cheeks.

“I guess you could say I got pretty lucky with the baby mama part.” He mutters, watching you from under his lashes, grinning when you roll your eyes and throw your head back to hide the apparent blush forming across your cheeks.

Your guest bedroom that once used to be your small library and office area has now been bombarded with camera gear, a full sized bed covered in basic grey sheets and a black comforter.

Connor spoke with Shawn and Cez the first chance he had when he got back to tour. He explained the situation, as awkward and unexpected it is, and expressed his need to be home more for you and his unborn child.

Both were very understanding to him and his needs, granting him a week off a month ensuring that he’d still be able to get enough footage but also time at home. It also gave Shawn and the crew a moment of peace and not having to worry about cameras so much, not that Connor is like the crazy paps.

But now that Connor will be home once a month it made sense that he move into your spare room instead of having to stay with his parents or pay for a place he really wouldn’t see all that often. It was the perfect set up, to be there and help you when you need it.

You two were still adjusting to living together, or with another human (of the different sex).

You walked into the apartment from class, stopping short when the first thing you saw in your kitchen was Connor, in only his black Calvins.

“Bro,” You shield your eyes setting your backpack on your bar stool, “Can you wear pants?”

Connor looks over at the sound of your voice, a slice of cheese between his fingers, munching on a bite. He looks down, and then back up to you holding a hand over your eyes.

“I’m in boxers, I’m not naked.”

“No one wants to see your dick though,” You shake your head, grinning as you say, “Been there, done that.”

He chuckles, leaning closer to you and peeling your hands away from your eyes so you can see his smug smile. “You weren’t complaining then.”

Your jaw drops and you blush as he raises an eyebrow at you. “Well,” You stutter, “I mean,” He smiles, getting the best reaction out of you. “Shut up, go put clothes on!” You smack his arm shooing him to his room.

You both were getting really good and creative with ways to hiding your pregnancy. The only people who knew were the team, and family. Not even friends from your high school knew.

The issue with hiding this was the fact that Connor was gaining a lot of attention from Shawn’s fans. You didn’t blame them, no matter what brought them to become a fan of his, it at least brought more attention to his work and was getting him that much more popular. This just meant that you had to take hiding your pregnancy to a whole new level.

For a while you were able to just wear some big sweatshirts to cover the smallest bump you had. When sweatshirts weren’t able to work so much you then resorted to really flowy shirts and a big purse you could always swing in front of your belly.

There was even one time that Connor and the whole crew were in town. They had invited you to lunch since no one had seen you since Connor told everyone. But at the end of lunch the manager came to tell the group that the paparazzi had followed Shawn and his own lunch date.

You were panicked while everyone just rolled their eyes and grumbled about how someone had probably called them so pictures of Shawn and his date could be taken. You looked to Connor and gulped as he laughed with Brian about a meme he was showing him.

“Y/n, you okay?” Shawn asked from across the table.

He was always so kind, and it boggled your mind how he could always see everyone, even when there were thousands in front of him, he could see everyone and notice every mood change.

Connor looked over after Shawn’s question and noticed your worried expression.

“Um, I’m,” You looked down at your shirt that very clearly showed off your small baby bump. “We haven’t told-”

“Oh shit,” Connor mumbled now noticing what you were referring too. “Fuck they’re gonna get pictures of us.” He looked to Shawn.

“I totally forgot,” Shawn rubs his forehead. “I’m so sorry you guys.”

“Do you have anything to like hide behind?” Brian asked.

“No, I didn’t bring a jacket because it’s so nice out.” You shake your head.

“Actually,” Connor cringes, looking at Josiah. “Do you still have your pocket reflector?”

Josiah nods, handing it to Connor.

“We’ll head out first, and then you guys go with Brian and maybe they’ll won’t pay you much attention. We’ll take a walk down the block or something.” Shawn stands, giving you an apologetic smile before walking out with his date.

You look to Connor and Brian as Connor is unfolding the reflector that creates a decent sized circle. You just laugh out loud when he offers it to you.

“What?” He asks.

“What the fuck am I supposed to do with this?” You laugh taking it from him. “It definitely doesn’t look like I’m hiding anything.” You’re sarcastic tone makes the boys chuckle.

“Here,” Brian hands Connor an old disposable camera. “Pretend like you’re taking my picture as we walk to the car so it looks like she’s actually using it.”

You just laugh harder and so do the boys at this elaborate plan to cover your pregnant belly.

At 5 months your little one is now starting to move. You’re really uncomfortable at the moment, in the stages of dealing with pregnancy and the symptoms.

Tonight is no different, if anything, it’s worse. Baby Brash (literally) has the hiccups and it’s causing your belly to move every 30 seconds or so. So sleeping at the moment isn’t a reality. Finding a comfortable spot to fall asleep isn’t a reality either.

iMessage from Papa 👶: Stop moving, I can hear your bed springs, lord help our child when you get laid.

You rolled your eyes at Connor’s message. He changed his name in your phone when he finally saw what you had him under. He even changed your name in his phone to ‘Mama 👶’ with the baby emoji.

iMessage to Papa👶 : Tell your child to stop moving so much then

You watched as he read the message, but frowned a little when he didn’t start responding. You jumped when your bedroom door creaked open, revealing Connor in a worn white t shirt and plaid pajama pants.

“Hey you,” He crawls into your bed, shuffling under your covers with you. “Hey Kid,” He smiles, leaning down to plant a small kiss to your belly. “Stop moving in there so Mama can go to sleep. She’s keeping me up because you’re keeping her up.”

You roll your eyes again, glaring at him. “Really?”

“You told me to tell the kid.” He shrugs.

His hands have found their way to your belly, rubbing soothing circles in hopes of calming his baby down and lulling you to sleep.

You sigh and let your eyes flutter close.

“What hurts tonight?” He whispers.

“My hips and back.”

“Roll to your side for me.”

You do as told, and moan a little when he starts massaging at your tender hips. Your lower back is so tired and your hips are sore.

He keeps rubbing and tracing designs on your skin until your breathing evens out. He rolls away a little to go back to his room before your rolling towards him, and resting your head on his chest.

“Don’t go.” You whine.

His whole life flashed before his eyes when he got the call. His whole life.

That’s the only words running through his mind.

His whole life.

“What did she say?” Brian as he drove to the airport.

“She said that she was being transported to the hospital and because she’s pregnant they wanted to take her in for more testing just to double check that everything was okay.”

“And what happened again?”

“She was driving home from work, her light went green and she proceeded through the intersection when some dipshit in a fucking truck ran the red and hit the back of her car, sounds like it’s totaled but luckily he just hit her trunk, so she wasn’t hurt to much.”

“She’s okay though right?” Brian asked again.

“As far as I know, but I’ll keep you updated. Just tell everyone else for me okay?”

“Of course man. Just go take care of her and that Baby.”

Connor takes a shaky breath as he looks out the window.

“Connor,” Brian said, surprising him by using his full name. “You need to breathe.”

“My whole life was in that car Brian, my whole life was sitting in the driver's seat of that car, and-”

“You need to breathe Connor.”

“I’m trying!” He snaps at Brian, “But I’m freaking out! My girl and our baby were in an accident today and I’m not there with them! So please forgive me if I’m a little scared and panicked.”

“I know you are, you just gotta stay calm. Positive thoughts lead to positive outcomes.”

“You really need to stop doing that weird fucking yoga thing with Shawn. It’s changing you man.” Connor jokes, trying to lighten his own mood.

By the time Connor’s landed you’re already home and resting. He bursts into the apartment like a bat out of hell, slamming the door and flipping the lock before throwing his bag to the ground and racing to your room.

“Jesus, be a little louder why don’t you.” You comment when he falls into your room.

“Are you okay? What did the doctor say? Is our Bean okay?” He throws himself onto your bed, hands instantly searching for your ever growing bump.

“We’re okay.” You whisper, threading your fingers through his hair to calm him down. “I told you we were fine and that you didn’t need to come home.”

“Right,” He scoffs. “Like I was just gonna stay miles away from you after you’ve been in an accident.”

“But we’re okay! You’re parents, my parents, our siblings, everyone was there with me. Really we’re okay.”

“Okay, okay.” He nods, laying down with his head beside your big belly, rubbing and tapping at it, smiling when he feels a few kicks. “My Bean is kicking?” He looks up at you.

“Yeah, has been for a week or so.”

“Why didn’t you say so?”

“Well,” You frown, looking away. “To be honest I planned on pretending that the first time Bean kicked when you were home next was the first time so you didn’t feel like you were missing out on anything.”

Connor smiles at you, shaking his head and leaning up to plant a kiss to your cheek. “Thank you for planning to lie to me.”

You giggle, before shifting to sit up more. You reach for the papers on your bedside table and hand them to Connor.

“What’s this?” He asks, looking down. His face falls, frown dropping his lips eyes looking up at you. “What is this? Why are you handing me this?”

“I think we need to talk about it.” You shrug.

“Not right now.”

“Connor this is serious, it’s not just us anymore. We’re having a kid, we need to have a Will drawn up.”

“I understand that, but I don’t wanna talk about it right now.”

“Connor, in the event that something happens to one of us, we need to know what the other wants.”

“Stop, stop, stop talkin’ like that!”

“Connor,”

“Please,” He tugs at his hair, “Please not right now. I understand we need to know, I get that and we’ll have it drawn up but I don’t want to talk about it right now. All my nightmares came true today.” He looks at you with sad eyes. “I haven’t told you this, but lately I’ve been having a few nightmares that something happens to you and our Bean, and I’m not there to help you or protect you.” He shakes his head, eyes squeezed shut. “And that happened to me today. You both were in an accident, and I wasn’t here.”

“Connor,” You say again.

“I get it!” He snaps. “But I don’t like the thought of losing you okay? I’m fucking in love with you, and I don’t really have you, but I thought I lost you when I got that call. So can we stop talking like this for the day? Please? Please can you give my heart a moment?”

You stare up at him with wide eyes, your heart rate picking up at his words.

“You’re what?” You whisper, caressing his cheek.

“Huh?”

“You’re in love with me?”

His eyes go wide in panic now that he’s realized what he’s said.

“Are you being serious?”

“Yeah?” He nods.

“Why haven’t you said anything!” You slap his arm.

“I don’t know, you never-”

“I’ve been in love with you since Junior year!” You keep slapping his arm.

“Stop hitting me!” He grabs your hands, interlocking your fingers.

“You never said anything!” “Neither did you!” He responds.

Things were different now, you still hadn’t really said officially what you two were now, but it was this weird in between stage of best friend and boyfriend.

He would kiss you sometimes, and always hold your hand, he’d even let a few pet names slip, but when asked by others he still referred to you as his best friend.

It confused you to no end, because now that something changed he’s moved into your room, claiming that he would just sneak in every night anyway, and now you had room for a nursery.

“Babe?” He called from the nursery, seated criss cross on the ground, staring up at the ceiling while waiting for your response. “BABE?”

“What?” You call back, walking down the hall to the laundry room.

“Can you bring me a water?”

“Really? You can’t get it yourself?”

“I’m building the crib!”

“I’m doing your laundry!” You yell back, leaning against the dryer, rolling your eyes at his request.

“Please?” He asks softly. When you don’t respond he resorts to baby talk he knows you can’t resist. “Pweety Pwease? I’ll give you kisses.”

You groan, waddling down the hall to the kitchen, grabbing him a cucumber mint flow from the fridge, and grabbing yourself a watermelon lime one. You make your way to the nursery, throwing him the water before taking a seat in the new rocking chair Shawn bought you guys.

“How you doing there Pretty Mama?” He smiles looking over at you.

“I’m tired, and big.” You whine, looking down at your very pregnant belly.

“I think you look really pretty.” He blushes, looking back at the crib.

“You owe me kisses.” You pout.

“Do I?” He looks at you, “What if I was crossing my fingers?”

You gasp, furrowing your brows and crossing your arms across your chest. “That’s so mean. You’re pregnant best friend just waddled her way to the kitchen and back to bring you your precious water and you won’t give her kisses like you promised?”

He’s up on his knees crawling towards you. “Girlfriend.” He hums setting his hands on your thighs so he can lean closer.

“What?”

“You mean my pregnant girlfriend.” He corrects you.

“Do I?” You asked softly, biting your lip as you stare into those blue eyes.

“I sure hope so.” He whispers.

“Is that what I am? Your girlfriend?”

He pulls back a little, brows furrowing in confusion. “What do you mean? I thought-”

“Yeah me too but then you told the guy at the baby shop that I was your best friend.”

He sighs, hanging his head. “It’s so natural, or I don’t know, programmed in my head to introduce you that way. But I thought we turned into something more when we confessed.”

“Me too, but when you did that it through me off.”

“Babe,” He smiles, rubbing his hands up your legs, “We live together, we sleep in the same bed, we kiss, we love, we laugh, we fight, we’re pregnant.” He let’s his right hand wander to your belly. “I consider you my girlfriend. I hope you consider me your boyfriend.”

“I do.”

“So then why are you pouting?”

“Because I really want kisses.”

“Oh my goodness.” He laughs, leaning forward to cover your lips with his own. He kisses you deeply, pecking your lips three more times before pulling away. “Better?”

“For now.”

“Okay.” He laughs, shaking his head before going back to building the crib.

“Boyfriend?” You yell from the bedroom when you hear the door open.

“It’s Boyfriend and his friends!” Connor yells back. “Girlfriend?”

“Yes?”

“Where are you?”

You quickly finish tying the bow to his gift before making your way to the living room where Shawn and Brian are seated on the couch.

“Hey!” Shawn jumps up, giving you a hug before looking down to your belly. “Can I touch your belly?”

You laugh a little, “Yeah go ahead, thank you for asking.”

“Of course, it would be a little rude to just go ahead.” He says touching your belly.

“Can you tell that to the rest of the world?”

“Hey Bean!” Shawn says to your belly. “Uncle Shawn got you the coolest thing ever!” He says before running to the couch to show you a small guitar case.

“Shawn you didn’t.”

“I couldn’t help myself, I was looking for a new one and saw this little thing.” He pops the case open. “I’ll teach Bean how to play and everything!”

“There you are!” Connor smiles when he enters holding three beers and your favorite flow flavor. He walks up to you, planting a wet smooch to your lips before handing the boys their drinks.

“I have something for you.” You grin, holding up the little gift wrapped box.

“Oh yeah?” He takes it from you.

He unties the bow, rips the paper, and opens the box to reveal a small blue Polaroid camera.

“This is so cute,” He says holding it in his hand.

Shawn gasps and Brian stands up in excitement.

“Where’d you get this honey?”

“It doesn’t matter,” You wave him off, bouncing on your toes in excitement. “What color is it?”

“Blue?” He asks, looking up at you, and then over to the excited boys next to him that are punching the other in the arm.

“And blue is for what?” You pull it out of him.

“Blue is for….” He stares at you, “Blue is for boy.” His eyes light up. “Blue is for boy?”

“Blue is for boy!” You squeal.

“Oh my god! Blue is for boy!” He wraps you up in his arms, kissing your neck. “It’s a boy, we’re having a boy!”

“ITS A BOY!” Shawn and Brian cheer.

You groan in pain as you feel another contraction hit. You’ve been in labor for three hours now and your little boy does not want to come see the world.

Connor tries not to wince or complain about his hand he’s sure you’ve severely bruised. He breathes with you through the pain, running a soothing hand over your head and taking your matted hair back away from your forehead.

“There you go Baby.” He whispers, “You’re doing so good.”

“I love you Connor David,” You smile at him, “But I want to fucking kick you in the balls right now.”

He winces at the thought and shakes his head. “I’m sorry Baby,” He looks away. “I wish I could take your pain away, I wish it were me.”

“Me too.” You relax when the contraction stops.

“Still holding your hand?” The nurse smiles when she walks in to check on you. “You’re better than most Dad’s, they usually wimp out by now from the pain.”

“He never lets go, no matter what.” You smile up at Connor.

“You’re my lobster Baby,” He leans down to kiss your lips.

written by: @shawnm521

614 notes · View notes

musedblues · 5 years

Text

Always Something There To Remind Me [Part: 5]

summary: Home is where the heart is. You’re working on finding yours. After a handful of misfortunes, your old friend Joe helps to unravel life’s greatest mystery while adding a bit of extra grief to the mix.

warning: Angst central! But a truly happy ending?

w/c: 4k

a/n: Well well well... enjoy this chapter lovies! There's only ONE final update to go. I have far too many feelings, I'll leave it at that. But DO let me know how you lot feel!

taglist: @im-an-adult-ish @mrsmazzello @lettinggosthehardestpart @the-moving-finger-writes @imtheinvisiblequeen @joemazzmatazz @sherlollydramoine

Part 6

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

Enough time had passed that you began to wonder what was next, in life. Where were you supposed to go, now? What were you supposed to be doing? There were still tendrils of sadness and uncertainty keeping you glued in place, without a clear view of your future.

But like always, you had Joe. And like always, you had plans with him. After romping around the city, you decided to invite him over for a classic movie night, the very next weekend.

As you sat in the flower shop all week, willing customers to show up and save you from boredom and longing for Friday to come closer, your wishes half came true. That day, Joe showed up on the other side of your counter several hours earlier than planned.

"You know I have to finish my shift before we start movie night, right?" You joked as he rested each palm on the opposite side of your counter. Joe wasn't smiling, and he was dressed up way too nice for a casual night of ranking your favorite films.

"I'm so sorry. But I have to cancel movie night." Joe lulled his head, a moment of silence for the plans he just shot dead.

"You came all this way to let me down, huh?" You jeered once more, hoping you didn't sound half as crushed as you felt. It was just movie night, you could reschedule.

"I totally forgot I already promised Lacy I'd show up at this super fancy thing tonight."

"Ouch." You remarked, regretting your tone for real now. Lacy hadn't been around to greet you since she'd spotted Joe outside your shop last week. And you knew she was never really your friend, but it still stung to know you'd been used.

"I'm really sorry I spaced it. But I felt too bad about letting her down last minute." Joe explained.

"Why? Might help to knock a bit of air out of her head." You countered. Because while you knew you were unimportant enough to let Lacy walk all over you, Joe deserved better.

"She's not that bad," Joe added, pointing out that Lacy was at least a little bad.

"She's not that fucking great either." You were now officially angry that her claws were deep enough in your friend that he hadn't taken notice of the fact that Lacy was using him, too.

Once the floodgates opened, you couldn't go on acting like you didn't have something to say. Thank God the flower shop was empty and your boss was out with deliveries...

"You're just a trophy to her, she just takes you out to show you off!" It seemed you were stating the obvious, but it felt much scarier.

"Whoa, where is this coming from?" Joe shifted away from your counter, furrowing his brow as if this was really news to him.

"I just can't believe you don't see that you're a prize for Lacy to win. I've never once heard her tell me what it is what you do when you're together, just that you score her a few hundred new Instagram followers every time you come around."

"Yeah well, I'm about to be late for another appearance." Joe shrugged, speaking low in your direction. Maybe he liked the attention, you thought, heart sinking to the floor as you realized that this life had yet to make sense.

"I really wish you could hear what I'm trying to say." You spoke up, desperate for Joe to stop moving toward the door and away from you.

"Call me when you learn to say it better." He bit back just moments before disappearing into the crowded mall and leaving you all alone.

///

That night, you never turned the television on. Instead, you held a book in your hand, pretending to turn the pages. All you really focused on was playing the scene with Joe from earlier over in your head, wishing it could have happened differently.

When your mother got home she was raving about the day she spent photographing some reality star’s wedding. You pretended to listen, keeping your eyes on the book and your mind far far away.

“Where’s Joe? I thought he’d be here tonight.” Your mother wondered, kicking off her shoes and bustling toward the kitchen.

“Hell if I know.” You sighed, realizing you still didn’t know what he and Lacy might have been up too or why he was wearing his fanciest suit jacket.

“So… dinner for two then, I suppose?” Your mother rang from the kitchen, clearly trying her utmost not to irk any further.

“Actually I think I’m just gonna call it a night.” You decided, sitting up and heading straight for the stairs. You shouted a half-hearted goodnight to your mother, longing for this day to just end. But as you shut yourself into the bedroom that hadn’t much changed since you were in high school, you couldn’t stop letting your mind wander.

So, you called Tegan, jumping straight into filling her in on everything that happened since the last time you spoke to her. She listened, adding in quips that meant she was paying attention. When you finished letting it all out, Tegan seemed to think over her response.

“I understand you’re upset, but you haven’t really said why.” Your friend pointed out, an ocean away. Funny how she was still your light in the dark, you thought.

You realized you just told Tegan the story of your whole week, ending with how shitty you felt for snapping at Joe over a girl who didn’t matter that much; but never gave your true feelings away.

“I guess I’m just a little jealous, huh?” You huffed a laugh, basking in the flicking amber light coming from the lamp on your desk. “I’ve always been used to Joe’s attention. Ever since I got back home… I don’t know.”

“Maybe you should tell him all that, y/n.” Tegan suggested softly, after a long understanding pause. You wished she was closer so you could hug her and remind her what a damn good friend she was. So you told her just that, and went to bed even more confused than before.

///

A couple of days passed as you tried to think up what to say, and when to say it. Joe coldly suggested you call him, but that felt far too impersonal. You realized that since coming home, since Kris died, and Joe’s dad passed, and since spending time together again; you and Joe never really talked much about any of that.

Your phone was blank of text messages from him. Even though you wanted to ring Joe, you knew that the second you got his attention that all you’d want to do was make things right. And he deserved much more than a cellphone chat.

So one very cloudy afternoon, while your mother was over having lunch with Mrs. Mazzello, you left a note and hopped in the car. While just thinking zooming down the freeway made you nervous, the thought of going much longer without Joe made you absolutely sick.

You held your breath behind the wheel, minding speed limits and thinking of nothing but what you had to do. The city streets were jam-packed, but even through all the traffic, you seemed to end up in a parking spot in the blink of an eye. You made it. This was it. Now for the hard part...

When you passed through the third-floor entrance and stood outside Joe's door, you were still holding your breath. But you had to knock. You had to get this over with. Much quicker than you expected, the door opened and Joe was standing there in a fancy leather jacket, expectantly gazing into the hall. But his expression morphed into confusion when he saw you, and you wondered who else he might have been hoping to see.

“Hi.” You shrugged meekly. Joe stepped to the side wordlessly offering for you to come inside. You took the opportunity to speak up once more as Joe shut the door behind you.

“I know you said to call, but I think we have too much to talk about.” You started. Joe moved back in front of you, listening.

“I’m sorry for freaking out on you at the mall last week I shouldn’t have said most of that.”

Joe shifted in place and looked away from you, just before saying, “I really can’t do this right now.”

You felt a distant rumble in the grounds of your universe and wondered if this was it. If you’d waited too long and showed up at the wrong time and ruined everything on your mission to make it right. Then Joe went on…

“How are you so good at pushing me away and then showing back up like nothing ever happened?”

Just as you were about to ask what the hell he was talking about, he spoke up again.

"When I went along to drop you off at the airport before you moved to the UK, do you remember what you said to me?" Joe asked in a pitch that stung your heart. You were so anxious back then to rule the world that it was hard to recall past all the fresh wreckage. So you shook your head and prepared for Joe's answer. You weren't expecting to be greeted with a smile today, but Joe's upset was scaring you.

"I told you I was going to miss you. And all you said to me was 'try and remember what it was like before we met.' That's how you left me." You'd never seen Joe's eyes so piercing. He was angry, but he was talking so calmly that you couldn't understand what to do. Had you really dismissed Joe's feeling like that then?

"But then you just kept calling me. And of course, I answered." He scooted a little closer as you drew your arms around your middle.

"Then you move back here, and we get on like no time has passed. You stay with me and you sleep in my bed and I wake up to find you've left it." He stopped, chuckling in a small breath as your stomach fell away.

"And now whatever this is about.” He waved a hand to you. “You push me away and then come back and I don’t get it. So maybe you should just- wait... how- how did you get here?"

"I drove." You said with a tiny smile. A rush of pride swooped deep in your chest, but the nerves dancing on your skin were the only thing you could feel. "And... I know. I came here to apologize. I'm sorry for a lot of things and I-" Joe was staring at you, searching your face while you started in on your monologue, there was a knock at the door.

"Queen is in town" He huffed. "And so is everyone else." Joe offered an exasperated explanation as he took a few steps to greet whoever he’d actually been expecting.

A happy looking Gwilym Lee bound into the room, and Joe smiled for the first time since your interaction.

"Oh, the gang is all here! I didn't know you were coming along." Gwilym looked at you with a hundred-watt smile that reached his eyes. Your heart didn't know whether to flip or plummet to the floorboards.

"I've just got to change if that's alright." Gwil shrugged to Joe, holding up a small tote of clothes, you presumed. The boy's plans must have been minutes away from happening. Why was your timing always so shit?

"Yeah of course." Joe pointed to the bathroom even though Gwil already knew where to find it. The guy disappeared behind the door and you were left alone with Joe without much time to make things right. You began to fear that your poor timing had left a permeate scar on your friendship with Joe forever, but then he spoke up.

"You can either come with us, and you and I can talk about this later tonight... Or you can go home now. And I really don't think you should do that."

His voice was quiet for the sake of Gwilym happening to hear, but there was a softness in Joe's tone that wasn't there minutes ago. He was giving you a chance. You felt like a kid who'd just weaseled their way out of detention, one folly dismissed, but the rest of your actions being closely monitored until further notice. You had to accept his offer, even if you weren't dressed as well for the occasion.

“Okay.” You nodded, unsure how you were supposed to act, barely processing where you were off too.

The tall Welshman reappeared from the bathroom in record time, sporting a striped mint green shirt and wild eyes.

“Let’s go have some fun!” Gwilym announced, leading the way to the front door. This was like an optical illusion, a fever dream version of the weekend before where everything was the same but so much different all at once.

///

The next thing you knew you were sat in the back of Joe’s car, one seat away from Gwilym, who went on wishing he could stay with Joe again but how there was some hotel in the city paying for his room, hosting some fashion show he had to attend. You wished you could have such worries, but teetered in the middle of feeling excited to see Gwil, and totally afraid of where you and Joe stood.

Just before your thoughts consumed you, the car pulled into the backstage lot of a huge arena. Through a break in the gates, you could see hoards of fans peppering the sidewalks on the horizon, racing to the front doors. At the sight of a couple of young girls and their parents decked in Queen merch, you realized that this night was probably going to be the long-awaited best experience ever, for some of these concert goers. And here you were, an undeserving drag along. You tried not to appear as out of place as you felt while you got out of the car and followed close behind the boys who knew right where to go.

On the way, without a word or a moment's hesitation, Joe grabbed your hand. You couldn't at all be sure if he could tell you were out of your element, or if this was a step in dissolving the divide between you, but you were glad for it either way. You gripped back and took a deep breath, listening to Gwilym ramble about how excited he was for everyone to be together again.

Oh shit, you thought. Of course, everyone was going to be here. Tonight of all nights, when you couldn’t be sure what was going on between you and Joe, he pulled you alongside him through the back halls of an arena. Roadies and techs hauled heavy equipment down side halls, while the one you walked through remained empty and hollow. Your heartbeat was heavy and low, you swore you felt Joe squeeze your hand. Why was he still holding yours?

You didn’t have much more time to worry before you were upon a green room, where several strangers mingled around craft tables hardly looking your way.

The group who did turn around with a cheer was made up of Joe’s former co-stars and dear friends. You knew their faces and remembered their names. Joe made sure they all knew yours.

Lucy was made up of perfect features and a gentle disposition and she hugged you like you’d known her for years. You didn’t know Ben but you’d go so far as to say his smile was genuine and he meant when he said he was glad to finally meet you.

Then there was Rami. You’d learned his name before all this, back when he worked with Joe before. The handsome actor crashed a few facetime calls with Joe and was always nice to you during those virtual hangs. You never really imagined you get the chance to say hello again, and wondered if the superstar even recalled those days at all.

You watched Rami break away from a happy hug with Joe, who started to introduce you. But Rami spoke up first.

"I always wondered when this day would come." Rami let a knowing smirk turn up at the corner of his mouth when he locked eyes with you. And something happened, as you looked at him.

You'd been coping with the fact that everyone kept disappearing. But as you looked at Rami for the first real-time, you realized that some people came back. Rami hugged you without another word, and you hugged him back hard, and it lasted a while. It was as if he knew what you were thinking, how profoundly this meeting altered your perspective.

You spotted Joe watching on with a soft expression that nearly broke your already confused heart. He caught your eye and closed his in a slow blink, silently communicating that for now, everything was okay. When the hug ended, you smiled at Rami and he told you he was glad you were here. If there weren't a mess of other people excitedly chatting around you, you might have just cried.

And of course, that’s when two members of the world’s coolest fucking band bopped into the room, casually greeting new faces and kicking around the lounge as if they weren’t royalty.

Roger and Brian were happy to see Joe and Gwil, and the boys were happy to see the band. You felt all too much like you were invading Joe’s space, but he still looked happy when he reached over to introduce you to Roger and Brian. The rockstars cheerfully acknowledged you and you had no time to process what was happening as the group moved from the green room to the hallway. It was time for the show.

How did you end up here, at the bottom of a spectacular risen stage, watching Joe latch on to his friends who you’d only just meet but made you feel apart nonetheless?

Joe mingled among his friends who seemed to truly adore him, but kept floating back to you, filling you in on inside jokes and old stories. And when you started to tell some of your own, it seemed Joe had already beaten you to the punch, having already told his new friends about all your old adventures.

When Queen took the stage, your world was enveloped by the boom of multiple speakers and songs you’d loved forever. Brian and Roger were masters of their craft. You lost yourself in the spectacle, watching fans raise their fists in the air and sing along to familiar ballads. It wasn’t long before someone tore you from taking it all in, though.

"A ydych yn cael amser da?" Gwilym was leaning toward you, a beer at his chest and a nervous grin on his lips

A smile bloomed across your face as your brain worked at super speeds to piece together what he'd just asked. Living so long in Wales and serving drinks to grumpy old men who had a lot to complain about was the best way to pick up the langue; alongside Tegan who translated stories to you after hours. You didn't know everything, but you knew enough to realize Gwilym had just asked you if you were having a good time. You hadn't heard a thing like it in ages...

"Bydda! Wyt ti?" You laughed, turning to look at Gwil with glee.

"I just texted me mum to ask how to say that on the ride over, I'm sorry I don't know what you just said," Gwilym admitted over a flaming guitar solo, a little tipsy.

"We'll have that secret langue down one day." You laughed.

Everyone had been so lovely and welcoming to you, but Gwil seemed to officially be your friend now, too. You realized that the interaction with him was the first time you’d ever addressed your time in Wales without mentally spiraling down the path of the tragic backstory you scored there. You almost missed the place, now.

As you considered the rocky way your day had started out, you realized that the night had been made of tiny stitches of really good things. You weren’t foolish enough to understand how lucky you were, but you felt undeserving all the while.

Rami kept giving you winks and nods that you somehow understood.

Lucy kept pulling you in for sweet selfies.

And the band played their hearts out. But when they eased into Who Wants To Live Forever, you were sent floating back to earth, cursed by trauma you didn’t even feel attached to any longer, but that still haunted you all the same. The song only sent you deeper into your own thoughts, and luckily when you turned to look for Joe, he was right by your side.

“Thanks for letting me tag along.” You spoke to Joe, leaning in close so he could hear past the song.

“I’m really glad you’re here.” Joe leaned closer, and while you didn't know why, you knew he meant it.

///

You were in the backseat of Joe’s car against before you knew it. Gwil had slipped in the front to help find directions to his hotel, planning to get lunch with Joe before he headed home for London at the end of the week.

A part of your heart had been left in that arena, on the stage where two musical icons put on a killer show. In the place where you met some of Joe’s closest confidants, a place you’d been invited too. Your ears rang, and the bright lights that flickered as Joe drove through the city caused you to doze off.

You only caught bits of Gwilym leaving, barely registering when he promised to see you both again. You only really came to when Joe parked in a lot of his building.

What now? You didn’t know. You only followed behind Joe as you noticed him watching to make sure you were close by. Neither of you spoke on the trek up to his place, and even as you passed into his apartment there was a lingering silence. The calm before the storm, you decided.

You stood in his kitchen a few feet apart, knowing that you had to finish what you started here, earlier.

“I know I didn’t give you much of an option showing up unannounced but… why did you invite me to the show?” You asked slowly, trying to reason why Joe would have been nice enough to let you tag along if he was so upset with you earlier.

He stood leaning against the island, staring at you as if he’d forgotten you'd been at odds the last time you stood here.

“Because even though sometimes I don’t understand you, I still want you around. I still want you to be a part of things. It just makes sense.” Joe looked at you through his lashes.

“I’m sorry I’m so good at fucking everything up.” You said, tears stinging your eyes. You didn’t deserve Joe, and he didn’t deserve you and the shadows cast from the cloud that seemed to follow you around these days.

“You don’t fuck everything up,” Joe spoke assuredly. “You might make shit a little difficult sometimes, sure, but that doesn't change the fact that I love you.”

You had been trying not to cry since you got here, but nothing could stop you from bursting into tears, now. Yeah, this was definitely the backward path to making things better. And you were so confused that it was hard to see if things were better or not. All you could do was cover your face in your hands and hope for the best.

And when Joe spoke up to nervously ask why you were crying, all you could say was,

“Because I love you too.” You explained in a frustrated cry. This was another example of how unnecessarily stressful you had to make things, and that only made you cry harder.

But it wasn’t long before you felt Joe approach, cautiously reaching out to calm you down. He pulled you closer and you dared to close the gap, falling against Joe as you struggled to stop your tears.

He held onto you there, letting you cry until you couldn’t any longer. There was an exceptional weight lifted from your shoulders in the midst of letting out everything you’d been trying to push deep down for so long now.

As you steadied your breathing, you wished you didn’t have an excuse to release your latch on Joe. But when he slowly let go of you, he remained just as close. Joe brushed back your hair and wiped away some of your stray tears as you stared at him in awe of his unwavering care.

Then, he kissed you. Joe kissed you. Like the cameras were rolling and you were meant to appear crazy about each other. It all happened so quickly that your brain seemed to short circuit. You came to your senses enough to give into kissing him back, hardly thinking of how you got here, lost in the fact that it was happening at all.

But as the kiss died down and you both parted to catch your breath, you remembered why you came to Joe’s in the first place. And even though his eyes were still locked on your lips, you regretfully had to snap him out of it.

"Don't you dare kiss me again until we figure our shit out," You demand, wagging your finger and spinning over to the couch. It was time to stop pretending you knew everything about each other and ask a few questions.

“We’ve never really talked since I got back. I think we’d better.” You crossed your arms as Joe chuckled, at your demeanor but nodding as if he just realized this was true.

Together you sat facing each other in the middle of his big comfy couch, and seamlessly delved into a conversation about all the bits that made up your complicated life long relationship. You talked about how sorry you were for so many things and how grateful you were for others.

Joe apologized for getting so upset with you when you showed up, today. You apologized for not calling him as often as you should have and missing his dad's funeral. You started to apologize for letting your jealousy get the better of you last week, but Joe stopped you. He admitted that he'd only kept Lacy around so long because he did, in fact, like the attention. Then he apologized for making you feel like you had something to be wrong about.

The conversation lasted for at least an hour or more, until you caught a glimpse of the clock on the wall. It was suddenly three in the morning. There seemed to be so much more left to discuss with Joe, years of conversations had been left unfinished, and you were just getting started on picking up the pieces.

"Hey, remember when I used to joke about you and I swapping places for a day?" You suddenly recalled with a smile. Joe's eyes sparkled with recognition while he barely lifted a brow, suggesting you go on...

"I really believed no one would notice. Because you were always over for dinner and I was always over for breakfast."

"And we were gone together most of the day, anyway." Joe chuckled, eyes blinking slowly like an old trusting cat. You let yourself smile, considering everything all at once. Not much had changed, it seemed...

“What the fuck are we gonna do now, Joe?” You asked, like there was a war outside and no time to find shelter.

“What we’ve been doing. What we’re doing now.” Joe shrugged. “Figuring shit out together.” He stressed that final word with a micro nod and a gleam in his eye.

"Can I stay the night?" You whispered, not out of shyness, just respect. Besides, you already knew the answer. You could tell Joe wasn't going to let you out of his moonstruck sight for the rest of time and you had no plans of straying.

As soon as Joe started to give a nod of approval you slouched closer to him, slinking your arms around his shoulders and nearly falling asleep the second you melted against him.

Joe held you, not too tight. Just warm and precious. His fingers lightly scratched your shoulder blade as you both seemed to sigh in relief.

"I missed you." You muffled against his skin. Joe let out a contented mewl then, pulling you ever so slightly closer against him.

"Do we have all our shit worked out now?" Joe asked in a way you knew was serious. And because for the most part, you did, you said,

"Are you just asking so you can kiss me again?"

You both laughed, just like always. And for the first time in a long time, you weren’t worried about what happened, what was currently happening, or what might. You just felt happy. You were happy.

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

#joe mazzello #joe mazello x reader #joe mazzello fanfic #joe mazzello imagine

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