#once almost had my ID rejected because they thought it was fake until one of my friends helped me lol

[rottingcompost]

So the summer workers have started showing uo at work (generally 16 to 18 year olds) and one of them keeps looking at me intensly and im starting to think he's trying to figure out my age. Might ask him to guess since its really fun to hear what people think (I have legitimately gotten 15 to like 19 most of the time) and im always surprised that people think I look so young because personally I think I look pretty much the same age that I am (if not older sometimes) but idk it might be the dyed hair and wacky hairstyle and my height lol

[chosonore]

infatuation

infatuation [noun. strong but not usually lasting feelings of love or attraction]

pairing: kamo choso/f!reader

summary: in a spurt of recklessness, you hire an escort to help you learn about relationships and intimacy. what you didn't expect was to fall in love with him along the way. [part of the kamo escorts collab]

wordcount: 23.3k

content/warnings: escorts au, slow burn, language, smut!!!, fluff, soft dom!choso, reader is very oblivious and painfully awkward, awkward firsts, dry humping, handjobs, oral sex (m + f receiving), fingering, uh somewhat public sex, loss of virginity, oral fixation, praise kink, lowercase is intended [VERY VERY UNEDITED]

a/n: hello here it is and finally done!!! i've been sitting at this for a week straight now and while i'm not super happy with it, it would've been a shame to just throw it out tbh. writing improvement is a slow progress after all! i'm dedicating this to @sukirichi who always hyped me up while i was writing this, happily welcomed me to the collab and who always supports my writing and i really appreciate it. thank you, from the bottom of my heart! (argh i have so many cut scenes that i ran out of space for dividers, sorry! hope the reading flow still makes sense though)

"that's what you were so worried about?" nobara looked at you incredulously, as if you grew two heads and asked for her firstborn. "you were scared that guys don't like you because you've never dated anyone?"

you let out an embarrassed whine, pushing at her arm in an attempt to get her to shut up. it wasn't your fault that she jumped to (multiple and very wrong) conclusions when you'd called her and maki, asking them to meet up so you could ask for advice. even maki looked mildly amused, patting your head apologetically. you were well aware of how ridiculous your issue sounds - the topic of dating had always made you anxious. you came from a very wealthy family that always sheltered and protected you from everything. you were their precious little girl after all; your father would rather drop dead than have you mingle with people who didn't treat you well and didn't deserve you. they meant well and it had never been an issue until you moved out to attend university (your parents had acted like you were leaving to travel the world and would never return, when really, you only moved two hours away from home).

even though nobara, maki and you had quickly become friends after you'd met at an event, you were wary to tell them about your background. it worried you, knowing how some people would treat you differently just to get on your good side and use you, so you opted to skirt around it as much as possible. it took you months until you opened up to them when you finally mustered up enough courage and trust to do so. they kept your secrets ever since, always protecting you and looking out for you. you were truly glad to be their friend. the two of them had grown suspicious when you kept declining their invites to join them for parties or to simply go to a bar and you were slowly starting to feel more and more guilty until you couldn't take it anymore and just confessed, asking them for advice.

"so that's why you're nervous even around inumaki," nobara concluded, propping her chin up in thought. "i didn't think your parents would be this protective. do they know that you want to start dating now?"

"no…" you confessed, fidgeting in your seat. "my dad, he um- he means well and usually has a good radar when he says that a guy doesn't deserve me. but i thought it was time to venture out on my own. it's good to have some experience, right?"

"i mean you're not wrong but i don't want you to be asking for advice simply because you feel pressured about dating since everyone else is doing it," maki retorted, giving you a concerned look.

you quickly shook your head. it wasn't that you felt pressured about not having any experience yet. you didn't necessarily want to admit to them that you were a hopeless romantic and liked the idea of being with someone; in the end, it was your own decision to venture. men made you nervous, you didn't know how to act around them and the thought of approaching a stranger by yourself was too scary. maybe it was a better idea to find someone to show you the ropes first, you felt embarrassed about your lack of knowledge and skills and - it wouldn't hurt to have some kind of dating training, right?

"i mean, technically, you could just ask one of the guys to take you out on a fake date. i'm sure megumi wouldn't mind," nobara was already pulling out her phone, making you grabbing her hand in panic and furiously shaking your head.

"i don't want to get them involved in this! it would make things pretty awkward and that's the last thing i would want. isn't there any other solution?" you explained quietly, playing with the hem of the dress. you felt bad for rejecting all their suggestions but you simply didn't want to be a burden to your other friends either.

"well," nobara and maki looked at each other grinning. "you could hire a fake boyfriend."

"really? you can hire tho-"

"escorts, y/n, escorts," nobara pushed her phone over to you, pointing on the screen. frowning, you read the little description. kamo escorts. you'd never thought about hiring someone, let alone knew enough about the topic. judging from nobara's face, she seemed to be well versed and it made you slightly suspicious.

"it's the easiest way for you and you have enough money to pay for their service. it's convenient, you can adjust it to your schedule and they'll send someone who fits your preferences. you choose the spot for your date and they'll make it happen, right? it's perfect and you don't have to worry about getting anyone involved," she explained, tapping at the bottom of the screen. "just give them a call, they'll walk you through the entire process. if you don't like it, you can find someone else or just abort mission."

"what do you mean they'll send someone who fits my preferences?" it did sound like an easy process, almost too easy. something was bound to go wrong, you could feel it. "i don't even know what my preferences are, so how could they possibly-"

"y/n, you might be blind but we are not," maki flicked your forehead playfully, she was more perceptive than you. "if you want, you can call them right now and we'll help you with the preferences, okay? maybe that'll ease your nerves a little."

"now?" you squeaked, eyes widening in horror. you weren't prepared at all; when you invited them over you were only planning to gather advice and then act on it.

"yeah! come on, it'll be fun and it's not like they can see your face," nobara grinned and was already dialing the number, moving away from you agilely before you could snatch the phone out of her hands. you wanted the earth to swallow you, why did they think that this was a good id-

"good evening, thank you for calling kamo escorts. my name is ijichi, how may i help you?" a male voice sounded from the phone, you instinctively dove behind the couch but maki was quicker and pulled you back with one fluid motion. curse her strength and speed.

"yes, hi, my friend here would like to hire an escort but she's too shy to do so, so we're helping her with the entire process. i hope you don't mind?"

"if it helps to ease the nerves, not at all."

nobars nudged you, holding the phone out. you pouted at her, shaking your head like a stubborn child. she rolled her eyes and pushed the phone into your hand forcefully, making you panic as you didn't want ijichi hearing your wrangling.

"um, yes, i- i'd like to hire someone but- ah nobara already mentioned that! it's for… for dates! i just need someone to go on dates with me."

"i see. is this a formal event?"

"n-no! i just need dating training of sorts, so casual is fine… if i do need to attend a formal event in the future, would that be a problem?"

"not at all, simply let us know when booking. our escorts are trained to be able to adapt to any situation and event, there is nothing you need to worry about, miss. do you have any specific preferences?"

"uh i-"

nobara leaned over your shoulder. "she prefers more mature guys! someone who's caring and attentive, someone who's not too outgoing and loud, it has to match her energy! since this is date training, there's probably going to be a lot of awkwardness so we'll need someone who is patient too. someone who can act like the best boyfriend to ever boyfriend. as for looks, i think she's fine with everything- although wait, maybe dark hair. yep, dark hair."

you couldn't believe her, she practically directed the entire call for you as if she'd made a plan beforehand, knowing that it would come to this. there was no doubt that she'd had this in mind, this was nobara after all. maki, on other hand, was watching you amused; she didn't usually engage in whatever shenanigans nobara was up to but she was always a bystander who very much enjoyed your reaction just now.

"miss, do you agree with the listed preferences?" ijichi asked after a moment of silence. you could hear him typing and occasionally scribbling on paper.

"yeah, yes, that's fine. is it possible to book him on weekends? i don't know if this is going to work out just yet so maybe once a week on fridays? i've never done this before so yeah."

"that is doable, yes. if you wish to engage in sexual relations, you may discuss it with your escort. these services come at an additional cost, of course."

"i don't-"

nobara interrupts you again, smirking at you cheekily. "it would be beneficial, so please take that into consideration when choosing the escort!"

"alright, thank you," ijichi went silent for a minute while he was organizing the files and schedules. "there are some possible candidates with whom i have to check with first. i will get back to you, should they agree to the job. after that we can exchange personal information and contacts so we can discuss the matter further."

"okay um. thank you, mr ijichi, i appreciate your help," you thanked him bashfully, giving him your number before thanking him again. you were already so deep in thought that you didn't even listen to his reply. now you've really gone and done it. were you crazy? what if your parents found out? they'd riot and be immensely disappointed in you. getting some dating experience through dating an escort, only nobara could ever come up with something like this.

"how do you feel?" maki inquired and rubbed your shoulders in concern, seeing how quiet you suddenly grew. weakly shrugging with your shoulders, you grasped the fabric of your shirt and nervously fiddled with it. the entire ordeal filled you with anxiety, a myriad of thoughts circling in your brain. it was the first time doing something "reckless" and it left you feeling nauseous.

"i'm not sure." you hesitated. "i'm curious to see how it goes but it just makes me really nervous. how do i act around him? and what if he finds me weird?"

"i don't think he's going to think you're weird just because you get nervous around guys. and besides, ijichi said he'd find the perfect guy for you, yeah? don't worry about it too much. if you don't feel comfortable after the first date, we'll figure something out."

"i guess so… um, but you guys don't mind accompanying me to it? just to make sure it's not some weird guy?" upon seeing your hopeful face, the two girls couldn't say no - of course not, you were their precious, innocent friend. as amusing as this situation was to them, they wanted nothing more than to support you and see you happy as well. you had already done a tiny step out of your little, sheltered world and much more was to come.

the ring of your phone nearly scared you to death, making you drop the book you were holding. quietly cursing, you picked it up and placed it on the table before answering the phone. who was even calling you at this time? everyone knew you were busy in the evening, slaving away on your assignments. it must be really important to interrupt your workflow like this- you almost dropped your phone in shock when you recognized ijichi's voice on the other side. admittedly, you forgot about the entire ordeal and didn't expect him to get back to you so soon. "good evening, ms y/n. i'm calling you regarding your inquiry so we can finalize all the details."

"u- uhm yes! thank you for calling!"

although ijichi was kind and patient, you were still nervous as you scribbled the details on a piece of paper. your escort's name was choso, he was a few years older than you and his schedule was very flexible. there wasn't more info, ijichi had announced that choso would call you as soon as possible. dread filled your stomach - it was nerve wracking to meet new people, not to mention someone you hired to be your fake boyfriend for the day. and now that you knew he was calling, all focus and concentration was thrown out the window. silently, you sat at the table and stared at your phone, waiting for the screen to light up. maki and nobara didn't need to know about this new development just yet as you wanted to navigate this on your own before telling them.

not too long after, your phone rang again, an unknown number flashing across the screen. it had to be him. even though you mentally prepared yourself for minutes, the anxiety came back full force. with trembling hands, you picked up, holding your breath as you waited for an answer. a deep, rather dulcet voice greeted you from the other side. you liked the sound of his voice, it almost put you at ease if it wasn't for your mind that constantly reminded you what was going on. you hastily introduced yourself to him and told him why you were requesting his services. the entire time, he was silent and let you speak - although you appreciated that he didn't interrupt you, every second that was passed in silence agonized you.

"hello y/n, my name is choso and i'll be your escort for the time being. ijichi told me you were looking for someone to pose as your fake boyfriend?"

"ah, uh yes sort of! i don't… have any experience when it comes to boyfriends and that kind of stuff. and i- i just wanted to learn what it's like to d- date and- and," your voice got smaller and smaller, until it was a mere whisper that was filled with all kinds of embarrassment that you felt. you couldn't help it, hopefully choso was still able to decipher what you were explaining. "you know, k- kissing and all that stuff. i've never done it with anyone before."

"i see," choso paused for a second, making your heart race. "i can't say i've had this situation before but i'm confident in my skills to guide you through this. before we first meet, let's set some boundaries so you feel comfortable at all times, okay?"

you hummed and nodded, although he couldn't see you over the phone. choso sounded like what nobara had described your ideal type - ijichi really had delivered and chosen the best possible match. choso knew what to say and how to steer the conversation in such a way that it didn't make you feel helpless or anxious. and you, in turn, felt like you could trust him with this issue.

"y- yes! uhm when i first called ijichi, a friend of mine helped me with the process and requested someone who was comfortable with sexual relations but… uh, to be honest, i never thought of requesting them. i'm not entirely sure if i want to do it either… i want to approach this in a slow manner, as slow as possible."

"alright, i can work with that. as for our first meeting, have you picked a time and location?"

you sighed in relief. choso seemed like a really nice and understanding person, leaving most of the options up to you. you knew it was part of his job but it felt nice to know that he was so forthcoming and accommodating. for the first date, you’d chosen a nice restaurant that had good reviews and little private booths. even though there was no way your father would ever magically appear and find out about your escapades, you were still trying to be secretive and cautious. the restaurant was situated in a widespread estate with beautiful gardens, the perfect spot to take stroll after dinner. in all the romance books you’d consumed, these type of dates seemed to be very popular - you thought to yourself why not? as you discussed your plans with him, you briefly wondered what he looked like. it felt weird asking him about it and you'd meet him soon anyways. maybe he looked like what you thought his personality was - like a prince charming? the prince that your dad had always assured you would come along. a small giggle left your lips at the thought of it; it was silly to believe it would turn out to be the love of your life. though it made you giddy thinking of your prince charming.

“is everything okay?”

“ah sorry, everything’s fine! i just had a silly thought a moment ago, that’s all,” reassuring choso quickly, you rubbed your cheeks in embarrassment. he must’ve thought that you were going crazy. “anyways, thank you for um, everything. i feel more comfortable now that i’ve discussed the details with you, thank you for being so patient. i look forward to meeting you!”

on the other end, choso hesitated, startled by your sudden enthusiasm when you were rather shy and timid before. it seemed that you were willing to open up a little more. he was curious himself, never having dealt with such a case before. usually, only experienced people who were looking for eye candy to accompany them to fancy events would hire him. he couldn’t imagine what you were like before meeting - it was nicer to get to know you in person after all, for the sake of a date setting. still, how were you able to afford the services? considering you were most likely a college student, he couldn’t fathom what lengths you went just to gain some experience. though he supposed, he shouldn’t judge you too quickly.

“i look forward to meeting you as well. see you on saturday, y/n.”

for hours you’d gone back and forth between outfits - casual? or more cute? maybe a mix of both? maki wasn’t much of a help either, mostly just giving you a thumbs up for every outfit while nobara had something to criticize about every outfit. you sighed, tossing yet another shirt onto the heaping pile of clothes. it was hard trying to impress someone that you didn’t know. the last item on your list was a simple, flowy dress and it seemed to be the best fit. you didn’t want to agonize over the choices any longer, seeing that the date was inching closer and closer. maki looked like she was bored out of her mind as well, scrolling through her phone as she was lounging on your couch with nobara. “are you sure you’ll be fine?” maki questioned you again. she was relieved about your good mood, how you were less apprehensive about the entire ordeal. when you first told them about choso after the phone call, you sounded slightly excited and were gushing about how nice he had been. you were hopeful that you could learn a lot from him. however, maki couldn’t help but worry about you, constantly making sure you were feeling okay.

“i’m sure i’ll be fine, don’t worry! we agreed to just have dinner today and let me test the waters… we’re really just doing whatever i feel comfortable doing for now,” you explained to the two of them, smoothing out the dress before grabbing your bag. “so yeah, i’m ready, i think. i mean if anything was to happen, i’ll let you know right away. i really have to go now though, you guys coming?”

nobara made a noise of protest, not wanting to get up from your bed which promptly earned her a nudge from maki. you giggled at your friend’s antics, grasping her arm to pull her up. as lighthearted and happy as you acted, you tried to hide your nervousness in front of your friends. worrying them did no good. as the three of you made your way to the restaurant, you checked your phone to see a text message from choso who asked to meet you in front of the building. you agreed, telling him that you would be there soon. the phone pinged again, choso had sent you a simple smiley. it made you grin a little, earning a suggestive glance from nobara whom you gently shoved.

"text us if anything happens, yeah? we can also pick you up afterwards so don't worry about it," maki reminded you again as you rounded the corner of the street, stopping mere meters in front of the restaurant so you could say goodbye to them. again, you reassured them that you would do as they suggested. you would be fine, because after all, choso was a professional. waving at your friends’ retreating figures, you slowly walked towards the entrance and let your eyes wander. the streets were busy, you couldn’t immediately make out anyone who was waiting in front of the restaurant. not that you really knew what choso looked like, you just hoped your search wouldn’t get more difficult with people waiting in the front. glancing at your reflection on the windows of a parking car, you made sure that you looked presentable and approachable.

“y/n?” your soul nearly left your body as you got startled by a deep voice behind you, now suddenly being aware of the figure behind you. whirling around, you almost hit the other person with your small bag with the swing. your eyes widened and you apologized profusely, fussing around to make sure the person was okay until you paused. wait a minute. this person knew your name. abruptly leaning back so you could look at the person’s face - they were very, very tall - you incredulously stared at them before spluttering: “c- choso? you’re choso?”

the taller male nodded, gently grasping your shoulders to steady you. on your bare skin, his hands felt scalding hot, making you painfully aware of how close you stood to each other. choso, for a lack of better terms, looked nothing like you’d expected but you couldn’t complain. he was attractive, very much so. he almost fit into the bad boy category, the type of men your dad would never let you close to. you felt inexplicably drawn to choso, like a moth to flames and you just couldn’t look away. he stared back at you, dark eyes glinting with concern as he took in your form. as your voice had suggested, you appeared to be a rather shy and timid person, looking at him like a deer in headlights. choso thought you were adorable, the way you were holding onto the sleeves of his shirt to not fall.

“i’m so sorry, i didn’t mean to hit you! you just really scared me there,” you apologized again, letting go of the fabric in embarrassment. luckily, he didn’t seem to mind, patiently waiting until you were composed again.

“don’t worry about it, i’m okay. it’s nice to finally meet you. should we head inside?” he offered you his arm which you gratefully took and followed him inside. truth to be told, you were starstruck by him, still too flabbergasted to say another word. thankfully, choso had picked up on your speechlessness, silently chuckling to himself as he led you to your private booth. you sat across from him, quietly thanking the waiter as he handed you the menu. eyes flitting back and forth between it and choso, you fiddled with the hem of your dress. what would you even talk about? you felt awkward, not knowing what to ask him; your confidence had suddenly vanished with the earlier incident.

“you look like you’re about to faint,” choso teased you, giving you a cheeky smile. “i’m not gonna bite you, i promise. i’m supposed to be your fake boyfriend, right? ask me whatever you want, just act like we’re good friends. it’ll get better with time.”

you nodded eagerly, face heating up at the mention of boyfriends. how does one even act around them without prior experience? let’s not dwell on it for too long, you thought to yourself. fidgeting on your seat, you pointed at the menu. "do you already know what you'll be getting? a lot of people online recommended their signature dish so i thought we could try it… but all of their dishes sound really good!"

“how about we order different dishes and try from each other then?” choso suggested in response, amusedly watching how your eyes lit up at his idea. you nodded quickly, delving back into the menu to find your desired dish. glancing over to his side to see what he was looking at, you then pushed your menu over to him, pointing at the dish you would be ordering. choso nodded in understanding, skimming the pages until he found a dish that complimented it. not wanting to let you wait any longer, he gave the waiter a sign, ordering for the two of you. across of him, you stayed quiet, still contemplating what to ask him.

“feel free to ask me anything,” choso reminded you again, propping his chin on his hand and leaned closer to you. “when you first get to know someone, dates are really just to spend time with each other and getting to know the other person. if there’s something you two have in common, you’ll just go from there and bond over it, yeah?”

humming in thought, you nodded and looked up at him. “so uhm… what do you like to do in your free time? i’m still in uni, so i spend most of my days studying. but i really like reading when i’m free and i also volunteer at an animal shelter. the pets there make me really happy!”

“my job takes up the majority of my time, so i try to spend time with family and friends as much as possible. my younger brother has gotten me into surfing and paddle boarding, i really enjoy doing that. what do you study, if i may ask?”

“i want to become a veterinarian in the future! it’s been my dream ever since i was younger, so yeah… you said you have a younger brother? i have an older sister but we don’t have much in common since she’s a lot older than me. but um surfing! so you spend a lot of time at the beach, right? i haven’t been there in a long time.”

“if you still wish to continue after today’s date, we could go to the beach next time? i can teach you, it’s not that difficult.”

surprised, your eyes widened at his suggestion. he seemed to be confident that there would be a next time and you couldn’t even deny that possibility. so far, you were easing into the conversation more and more - the process was more natural than the whole setting suggested. though he still made you nervous, he had been nothing but respectful of your space and friendly. not to mention that you were attracted to him as well; if you hadn’t hired him, you could imagine actually getting close to him.

"i- i'd love that." as you told him more about yourself and listened to his stories, you didn’t notice how much time had passed until the waiter suddenly appeared in front of you, presenting you the dishes. your mouth was watering at the sight of the delicious dishes, you couldn’t wait to dig in. quickly thanking the waiter, you then took a bite from the dish after he left. you sighed in satisfaction, taking your time to properly taste the first bite.

“this is so good, you need to try it!” you gushed, pushing your plate closer to the middle of the table. choso chuckled, sharing his plate with you as well. as you took in all the side dishes, he'd already taken it upon himself to pick up a smaller piece with his chopsticks, nudging it towards you. you looked at him confused, then back at the small piece of food. was he trying to-? carefully, you leaned in and let him feed you, confusion and hesitation immediately melting at the taste. the food made you happy, but the unusual intimacy and closeness that he just showed you wasn't lost in between the myriad emotions.

as you had dinner, the previous conversation continued. choso was a few years older than you, has been working in this industry for two years now and preferred coffee over tea. he disliked early mornings and liked to sleep in until noon. his most precious and valued object was a polaroid camera, he wanted to have photos commemorating important occasions or moments that were special to him. all these little details made you feel like he was less of an escort that you'd hired but more of a friend. much to your surprise, the conversation ran smoothly and there were no awkward, silent gaps. you supposed it was only natural; you felt comfortable with him so it was easy to talk. had it been any other guy who didn't understand you or your intentions so well, you probably would've closed up.

"do you want to take a stroll around the estate? i heard the gardens are really beautiful," you asked choso, a hopeful glint in your eyes. dinner was finished long ago, silence filled with light conversation and teasing from choso’s side. you weren’t sure where to go from this or how to suggest being… more intimate. choso had suggested you would go slow - but how slow was too slow? and if you were to go with the flow, when would be the right time?

“i would love to,” choso’s reply pulled you out of your thoughts, focusing your attention back to him. lost in your thoughts, you nodded and called a waitress over to pay the bill. you felt choso’s gaze on you, making you queasy. what did he think of you? or this entire ordeal? you wondered. as he stood up and moved behind you, you nearly jumped out of your skin when he placed his hand on the small of your back, guiding you out of the restaurant. the touch was unfamiliar, heavy and scalding even through your clothes, but not unwelcome. a strange feeling welled up in your chest, crawling its way up your throat, constricting it in such a way that it distracted you from coherent thoughts.

seeming to notice your conflict, choso stepped to the side, offering you his hand. you glanced at it, hesitating. “boyfriend experience, remember?” he grinned at you, patiently waiting until you took his hand. his hand was much bigger, almost entirely engulfing yours as you intertwined your fingers. gently swinging your arms back and forth with the flow, choso lead the way through the paths of the garden. having looked forward to it, you suddenly found yourself too distracted by him. the flowers and trees were beautiful and so were the statues but he was the one that caught your attention.

“my hands aren’t sweaty, are they?” you asked after a moment of silence, stopping to face choso. he laughed and shook his head, flicking your forehead gently.

“stop worrying about things too much, you’ll be fine. you don’t see me complaining, do you?”

“i mean that’s true… but i can’t help it! there’s just a lot to uh, think about…” your voice trailed off, you let his hand go to cover your face in embarrassment. choso inched closer to you, grasping your hands to pry them off your face. remaining stubborn, you pulled them back in, a giggle breaking from your lips when he tried again, playfully pinching your cheeks.

“want me to take your mind off said things?” he asked with a low voice, inching in further until your back hit a tree trunk behind you. he was so close, too too close. weakly, you pushed at his chest, trying to get him to back off. the sudden closeness that threw you off - your heart was racing at a million miles an hour, the endless possibilities dancing around your head. “how so?” your voice came out quiet and breathless, as if you were anticipating anything, something… his touch perhaps?

“do you feel comfortable with me?” without hesitating, you nodded in agreement. choso didn’t question you any further, simply gave you a knowing smile before diving in and pressing his lips against yours. instinctively, you stiffened, hands clenching around the fabric of choso’s shirt. breath caught up in your throat, you struggled to ease into it. you pulled away from him, squeezing your eyes shut in shame.

“i’m sorry that-”

“don’t apologize,” choso comforted you quickly, clasping your hands in his and intertwining them. thumbs gently rubbing the back of your hands, he lifted one of them to press a kiss against your knuckles. you blinked perplexed; your heart fluttered at the gesture. “don’t overthink it, there’s no science to it, yeah? just follow the flow, whatever feels good. we’ll go from there.”

giving you a moment to collect yourself, he leaned back in, silently waiting for permission. again, your breath hitched but this time, it wasn’t the nervousness. it was his eyes that drew you in, demanding all of your attention. dark, with unknown depths, that glimmered with mischief. ever so slightly, you tilted your head up to meet his lips. his warm lips pressed against yours, slowly testing the waters and letting you set the pace before deepening the kiss. now less hesitant, you kissed him back with more fervour, losing yourself in the feeling. it felt awkward and strange now that you let him guide you, leaving more space for you to ponder about the feeling that it evoked inside of you. you were glad he was holding your hands, otherwise you wouldn’t know what to do with yourself. the kiss brought forth a pleasant, tingling feeling - the sort of feeling that pulled you in, lulling you in warmth.

when choso pulled away, you almost mewled in disappointment, chasing after him. he let out a breathy laugh, cupping your cheek. “how did that feel? was it okay?”

“y- yeah, i liked it. felt very strange at first but once i was able to ease into it, it was… more natural and felt really good,” you explained to him shyly, leaning into his hand. longingly, you gazed at him. would it be weird to ask for another kiss? you wanted explore the feelings more, the intimacy of it, wanted to feel more of him. as if sensing that you were craving more, choso leaned in again, stopping a few centimeters in front of your face. with a sudden surge of boldness, you closed the distance between you, leaning up to kiss him. choso's arm snaked around your waist, pressing you closer to his body. gradually your body felt hotter, a dull ache accompanying it, spreading across the expanse of your stomach.

before you could act on the urge, choso pulled away again, pressing an apologetic kiss to the corner of your lips. "sorry, i don't want to get too carried away and we're… uh in public," he laughed at your horrified expression upon realizing your mistake. "i take it that you're still comfortable with this? do let me know if it gets too overwhelming for you.”

“n- no, it’s fine! it was uh, an interesting insight. i just wasn’t expecting to really get into this, considering- considering i hired you for this and don’t really know you.”

choso hummed in agreement. “i guess there has to be at least a smidge of attraction for it to work, yeah?” you looked at him stunned, trying to decipher the look in his eyes. you couldn’t place it; couldn’t place the feeling of longing that was emerging in you. when he looked at you like that, it was difficult to remind yourself that he was just an escort that you hired for your personal problems. when he looked at you like that, it filled you with warmth, making you want to pretend that he really cared about you as if you were in a relationship.

“yeah… yeah, i guess so.”

nervously, you were twiddling with your phone, contemplating whether to text choso or not. after the last “date”, you felt confident enough in continuing your… relationship of sorts. he was great at guiding you, always making sure you were comfortable and moving at your pace. you did let him know that you would book another session, you just hadn’t set up a date or time yet. and casually texting him felt awkward. hey, how’s your day? oh by the way, i wanna book another session so we can make out haha? maybe calling was a better idea. there was no plan ahead, never did you think you would even get this far.

the dial tone made you nervous. you chewed on your bottom lip as you waited for him to pick up, bouncing your leg up and down. maybe he was busy? it was early in the afternoon after all, he was probably already out with other clients. “hello? y/n?” choso sounded groggy, his voice raspy and deep as if he’d just gotten up. it sent electric shocks right down your spine, raising goosebumps across your skin. never had you thought about a man’s morning voice before, but choso had you wondering, imagining. you spluttered: “oh hey uh are you busy? i’m not interrupting you with something, am i?”

“not at all, i just got up,” choso admitted with a quiet chuckle. “everything okay? are you calling in for another appointment?”

“ah, yeah! i thought that we worked quite well and there’s still a few more things i want to learn with you, if you’re up for it? if you’re comfortable with it too, of course!”

“mhmm, i wouldn’t mind,” choso pondered from the other side. sounds of rustling and a few clangs resounded before you could clearly hear his voice again. you were glad that he agreed to it, meaning that you weren’t entirely… hopeless in that department. for days, his words were ghosting around in your head, a constant reminder that he seemed to find you attractive as well. not that he showed it, staying professional despite the nature of your relationship. it was nice to imagine that someone would look at you like that, at your shy and timid self.

choso was meticulous about his work, working on every detail and concern until he was satisfied. even though he looked so easy going, from time to time he had to admit that he was a perfectionist and easily frustrated when something didn't go the way he expected. so when you rolled around, so innocently asking for help, it threw him off. the feelings of confusion grew when he first met you, unable to pinpoint the origin of this urge, possessive and demanding, reaching its tendrils out to you. the way you reached out to him for help, the fact that you wanted to continue, wanted him to teach you. it thrilled him to the core when it really should not. he had to remain professional. but he was curious, so curious. indulging a little wouldn't hurt, right?

to choso's surprise, the next venue you'd chosen was the own comfort of your home. you were barely acquaintances, more like strangers, and yet you felt confident to invite him here. at the phone you had told him that your friends thought you had weird ideas about dates due to only seeing glorified versions of them on tv shows and movies. it embarrassed you enough to take their advice, inviting choso over for a movie night as opposed to visiting another fancy venue with him. prior to the date, you went through movie suggestions and rented the ones that you thought were interesting and enjoyable for the two of you. despite your put together attire and look, your apartment did not reflect the sentiment. it was a little chaotic; books and paper stacking up in every free corner of the apartment, pens strewn across surfaces and here and there choso could spot memorabilia and photos.

you gave choso an apologetic look when you let him in. despite your best efforts to clean up, you were still not happy with the outcome. tidying wasn't your strong suit but you tried to make it as accommodating as possible. choso assured you that he didn't mind at all, telling you that it added to the charm of the apartment. it was unusual to have someone other than your friends or family in the apartment - your home was your sacred space that you rarely ever showed anyone else, let alone someone you had hired. choso took a seat on the couch, turning to look at you as you went to grab some glasses and drinks.

"i uh, told my friends about my plans and they just told me i have weird expectations of dates," you explained choso, placing the items you'd grabbed on the coffee table and rubbed the back of your neck sheepishly. "they said it would probably just be better to have a simple movie night since a lot of people do that. and it would… make things a lot easier i- if we go fu- further…" the implication was hanging in the air, you didn't dare to speak them out. choso gave you a knowing smile, patting the empty space beside him. gingerly, you sat next to him, squeaking in surprise when he snaked an arm around your waist and pulled you to his side. with wide eyes, you stared at him, still trying to wrap your head around the casual close proximity with the taller male.

wordlessly, you started a random movie, trying to focus on it. throughout the duration of it, choso would ask you questions about your day, how uni was going or whether you felt comfortable. you couldn't focus, not with him being so close. how you made it through the first movie you didn't know. you were hyper aware of choso's wandering hands, the ghost touches his fingers left, how he absentmindedly rubbed your legs that were resting on his lap. straining to keep your eyes on the screen, your neck already felt stiff from the tension.

"i can tell that you're distracted, you know?" choso hummed, hands squeezing your legs gently to catch your attention. pretending to not be affected by it, you shook your head. you didn't want to show him that you wanted to proceed, not yet.

"i'm trying to concentrate," you shushed him quietly, playfully pushing at his arm but still not looking over to him. silence. you assumed you'd convinced him that there was nothing wrong until you felt his hands innocently move a little higher, rubbing the top of your thighs. clenching your fists, you stayed put, unwavering in your resolve. choso's hands wandered, alternating between featherlight touches to using more pressure. he kept his eyes on you, gauging your reactions to him. you brought your hand up to cover half of your face. it was embarrassing, the way your breath came out laboured in response. without warning, arms were hooked under your knees, dragging you across the couch and seated you on his lap. you made a noise in protest, now finally paying attention to him. choso wasn’t sure why but it had bothered him that you were so adamant on keeping your attention on the movie as opposed to keeping your eyes on him.

choso wasn’t sure why but he craved your attention, wanted you to look at him only. his resolve crumbled when you looked at him with wide eyes, grasping the sleeves of his shirt to steady yourself. he couldn’t help but kiss you, swallowing your surprised mewl before you returned the kiss. pleased at your eagerness, he gradually deepened the kiss, licking at the seams of your lips. you gasp in surprise and parted your lips slightly, whimpering in anticipation. it felt unfamiliar and yet thrilling at the same time, fueling and flaring up the dull ache in the pit of your stomach. before choso could go any further, you pulled away and hid your face in the crook of his neck. “what’s wrong? did i go too far?” he questioned concerned, rubbing your back in soothing circles.

“no, no, not at all,” reassuring him quickly, you awkwardly turned in his lap, legs still thrown over it. “i uh just wanted to try to take initiative myself, figure things out without getting hints from you… if that’s okay?”

a sigh of relief left choso’s lips. silently, he gave you his approval and leaned back, watching as you shuffled clumsily. finally, you straddled his lap and placed your hands on his chest. in the dim light, you couldn’t make out his face expression - choso was glad that you couldn’t, otherwise you would have been able to see how much it was affecting him, how he was slowly losing his composure and control around you. but this was about you, he was there to help you explore this type of intimacy. releasing another shaky breath, you then leaned in and softly kissed him. you kept a languid tempo, slowly and surely cracking his restraint. trying to mirror what he’d done earlier, you pushed further, timidly licking into his mouth as he parted his lips.

seemingly not being able to hold back anymore, choso pushed against you with equally as much fervour, gripping your chin and tilting your head ever so slightly. his lips moved against yours, sucking your bottom lip, eliciting a whimper from you. again the ache in the pit of your stomach was flaring up, uncomfortable and yearning for relief; you moved against his lap, pressing your body against his when your crotch dragged against the bulge in his jeans. choso groaned, hands flying to grasp your hips and steady you.

dazed, you gave him a confused look. choso cleared his throat, lifting his hips ever so slightly so you could feel his arousal again. when the realization hit you, your face heated up - you were surprised to find out that he felt aroused… by you.

“oh.”

“yeah.” choso retorted dryly, hands rubbing at his face in embarrassment. “fuck, i’m so sorry. it wasn’t meant to get out of hand like this, i don’t know how far you planned ahead for today but i-”

“uhm if you don’t mind…” you hesitated. but curiosity simply got the better of you, you wanted to see him breathless and feel as hot and bothered as you did. “could i uhm. you know? give you a handjob? only if you don’t mind because i want to know how to please uhm, please people.”

choso swore under his breath. you had no idea how painfully hard you were making him. quietly encouraging you, he leaned in to kiss you again and guided your hands to his jeans. you fumbled with the button and zipper, hands trembling slightly. it took you a few tries until you were finally able to unzip his pants, a giggle left your lips at the thought of how clumsy you were. your hands gently rubbed at the tent in his boxers, breath hitching as choso’s hips jerked. gaining some courage, you slightly put on more pressure and watched fascinated when choso’s fingers digged into the fleshy skin of your hips in anticipation. slowly, you pulled the waistband of his boxers down until it revealed his cock. choso hissed at the cold air that was biting at his skin.

carefully, you wrapped your hand around the shaft, marvelling at how the skin felt on your hands. sensing your cluelessness, choso wrapped his larger hand around yours and guided you into a slow rhythm to get you used to the movement. sucking in a deep breath between his teeth, he praised you: “you’re doing good, y/n. fuck, you’re being such a good girl.”

your heart soared at the praise. eagerly, you leaned up to kiss him, still stroking him in slow movements. choso moaned against your lips, the deep sound spurring you on, eager to hear more of his reactions. when you finally felt more comfortable continuing on your own, choso pulled his hands away and instead settled them on the small of your back, sliding them down until they were resting on your bum. you wrapped your other hand around him as well and paid attention to his reactions, adjusting the pressure and pace accordingly. choso buried his face in the crook of your neck, whispering sweet praises in between his moans. eventually your name left his lips; it set your entire body in flames, desperate want clinging onto your bones.

“fuck, i’m close,” he groans against the skin of your neck, hips rutting up to meet your movements more frantically now. you weren’t entirely sure what to do, opting to simply match the pace. shudders wrecked through choso’s body as he came, warm cum painting your small hands and running down your fingers. he was panting, leaning back against the couch and watching you with hooded eyes. the sight in front of you stirred something inside of you - choso’s flushed face, the slight sheen of sweat on his skin, his kiss-bitten lips. with curiosity, you inspected the liquid on your hand. lazily, choso grasped your wrist, holding them away from you. “‘m sorry. do you have a tissue?”

you tilted your head, tugging on the sleeves of his sweater with your other hand. “uh i- i’ve heard from others… um. can i try?” you asked quietly. choso’s grip on your wrist weakened; he gave you an incredulous look, as if you few two heads. out of all things, he didn’t expect you to suggest that. fuck, he felt the blood rushing right back down to his cock. just the thought of you, doing that - it was enough to make him cum again. “go ahead, if you feel like it,” choso whispered in a low voice. dark urges overcame him again, begging him to give in, to make you bend to his will, to submit, to-

his thoughts came to a screeching halt when he saw you unashamedly pop a finger in your mouth, licking the come from it. there wasn’t any reaction from you really, you gave him a sheepish smile afterwards and gratefully took the tissue he offered you. he helped you wipe your hands, diving in for another kiss. “sorry, i think i just short circuited,” choso laughed embarrassedly, another kiss was pressed to your temple. “that was just… uh- fuck.”

“r- really?” you stammered, hiding your face in your hands. “it’s okay if it wasn’t that great for you, it was my first time after all, i-”

choso hushed you, going for another open mouthed kiss, eliciting a whimper from you. “yeah, really. fuck, the things i want to do to you,” he shook his head, not wanting to get sidetracked again. “but this is about you. we’ll only go as far as you’re comfortable. did you feel like you learned enough for today?”

“mh- hmm. thank you,” you leaned your head against his chest, closing your eyes as a sudden tiredness washed over you. choso’s fingers dancing across your skin were slowly lulling you into a comfortable slumber. “what is it that you want to do to me? will you show me one day?”

choso cursed, shivers running down his spine.

“if you want to, of course.”

-----------

now that you’d met choso a couple of times, it was pretty obvious that you took some liking to him. after that fateful day, nothing else had happened as you wanted to work on easing into relationship dynamics and feeling less insecure about things - choso had been nothing but sweet and mindful about it, even went out of his way to find suitable locations for your dates. somewhere along the way you had started to text more casually, the strictly business type texting long forgotten. gradually, the two of you opened up to each other, the lines between escort and client slowly blurring and intertwining.

choso had promised to pick you up after your shift at the animal shelter for your next date; for today he had suggested you come over to his place for a change. the thought that he was willing to let you in his home, let you have a glimpse into his personal life, it made you giddy with anticipation. despite getting closer to each other, he remained a mysterious person and you didn't want to pry. after all, you were merely his client. but what if you were more- patting your cheeks to put some sense back into you, you leaned down to pet the dogs. unbeknownst to you, choso had already entered the building and watched you with a soft smile as you gave each of the dogs their deserved belly rubs before you left.

you didn't take any notice of him until some of the dogs perked up and carefully trudged over to sniff at the stranger. turning around on your heels, your eyes widened as you took in choso's tall figure. you quickly apologized, telling him that you would be joining him right away to which he simply shook his head and reassured you that you were fine. your co-workers were eyeing choso curiously, one of them wiggling their eyebrows at you. in response, you waved it off, too embarrassed to set the record straight. choso looked so awfully much like a boyfriend in this moment - the way he was dressed in casual clothes that accentuated his physical features so well, the soft smile he gave you as he offered you his hand to take, the way he sounded genuinely interested and curious when he asked you about your day.

silently, you took his hand and followed him out of the building - you could feel your co-workers’ inquisitive gazes like laser beams on your back. while they were never particularly nosy about your personal life, it was unusual that someone would pick you up from work; much less someone that you seemed to be romantically interested in. surely, they would grill you the next time you would return to work. “they think you’re my boyfriend,” you explained to choso sheepishly, glancing down at your intertwined hands. choso squeezed your hand and nudged your side gently. “am i not?” he winked at you cheekily, making your face heat up. he had asked in such a serious voice that you’d briefly questioned yourself.

“n- no, not really,” you replied quietly, looking away from him. choso reached around you to open the car door for you. in the window reflection you could see his face expression; it was rather somber, almost as if your words had hurt him in a way. the emotion was gone from his face when you blinked. maybe you had just imagined it. getting close to him on that level was unattainable, no matter how you twisted it. it just wasn't right.

the car ride was mostly quiet, only the sound of choso's car playlist accompanying you. somewhere along the way he had reached out to intertwine your fingers, resting his hand on your thigh. holding hands was almost natural to you now, the way his hands automatically sought out yours whenever possible. in response, your heart was racing, filling with the all too familiar feeling of yearning. whether you were simply yearning for the intimacy and closeness of a relationship or for him, you weren't entirely sure. while choso had told you about himself for the sake of the fake dating, there were still unknown facettes. it was impossible for you to get to know all of him, not when he was selling a fantasy to you. and yet, you found yourself craving more of him, beyond what he was willing to show you.

choso parked his car in the garage, turning his body sideways so he could look at you. "you okay? you look like you were quite lost in thoughts," he hummed curiously, rubbing circles on the back of your hand. what could you possibly answer to that? hey i'm questioning our fake relationship and it's going beyond what i expected? abruptly, choso hoisted you across the seat onto his lap as if you'd weighed nothing. "a penny for your thoughts? or should i take your mind off things?"

"i- i think i would… rather not talk about it," you whispered quietly, gaze skirting away from his eyes. choso frowned, slightly irritated - he had a small inkling why he reacted this way but banned the thought to the back of his head. he understood that as a client, you wouldn't disclose details of your private life to him. but he found it difficult to circumvent your dropping mood when he couldn't tell what was going on.

"i understand," choso was about to open the door when you suddenly cupped his chin and dove in for a kiss. he was caught off guard - rarely did you ever initiate kisses, usually shyly asking beforehand. feeling bold, you pressed you pressed your hips down, grinding against his crotch. choso groaned, gripping your hips to guide you while thrusting his hips up to meet yours. he enjoyed how you shuddered at the newfound pleasure, the delicious friction making your toes curl. "does baby want me to take her mind off things?" he murmured with a raspy voice, peppering kisses across your jaw.

"please," you mewled needily, hands grabbing onto his shoulders, fingers digging into his skin. choso complied, sliding his hand up to tangle in your hair and gently pulled at it, tilting your head back. you were panting by the time he was moving down the column of your neck, nipping and sucking at your skin. lower and lower, until he reached the top of your breasts; with swift movements, he yanked your shirt and bra upso , pressing open mouthed kisses to them before wrapping his lips around your nipple. your voice cracked as you moaned his name, hands flying up to bury your hands in his hair. distracted by the ministrations, you didn’t notice choso’s free hand sliding down your front until you feel the coldness of his hands on your skin. you squirmed, giggling at the cool sensation - the giggle died abruptly when he dove lower, fingers rubbing your clothed pussy languidly.

“c- choso! we’re still in the g- garage, people can see!” you stuttered scandalized, tugging at the tips of his hair to grab his attention. choso simply hummed, carrying on as if you hadn’t just told him your concerns. rubbing circles on your clit, he watched with satisfaction how your legs were trembling, writhing in pleasure. just the sight of you - hickeys on your neck, slightly swollen lips, shirt pushed up to reveal your tits, his hands down your pants - it was so arousing and thrilling, he almost didn’t want to stop.

“the windows are tinted and no one’s around at this time… do you really want me to stop?” he murmured with a low voice, fingers pushing your panties to the side to gather the slick up on his fingers. “look at you, how much you’re craving it. the want is written all over your face, baby. do you want to stop now?”

before you know it, choso’s hand is suddenly hovering over your face, fingers glimmering with your arousal. you shot him a dazed look, confusion evident on your face. “open,” he instructed softly, slowly and carefully sliding his fingers in your mouth. almost instinctively, your hands gingerly grasped his wrist. your lips wrapped around them, tasting the liquid curiously. his breath hitched, blood shooting down his groin - fuck, you were going to kill him. tentatively, he thrusted his fingers, slow enough so he could gauge your reaction to it. you didn’t know what it was - the taste of yourself, the weight of his fingers on your tongue, the way he was looking at you with hooded eyes and a hungry expression on his face; it made you squirm, eagerly for more. choso immediately took notice of your sudden mood shift. barely noticeable, your hips were rocking back and forth as you sucked on his fingers, cleaning them of your slick.

with a pop, choso removed his fingers. you whimpered his name, gasping in relief when he slid them back down, moving your panties to the side. his thumb found your clit, rubbing the little nub gently in slow circles. as if he was in no hurry and unbothered by the prospect that someone could actually spot you, he continued his ministrations. your legs jerked, threatening to close when you felt his fingers prod at your entrance. excruciatingly slow, he sunk a finger into you. the feeling was unfamiliar, almost uncomfortable at first. seizing up, you clenched around the finger. “relax, ease into it,” choso whispered reassuringly, capturing your lips in a kiss. “it’ll feel good, i promise.”

choso inserted a second finger, letting you get used to the feeling of them. the kisses he was peppering on your chest were distracting you from the burning stretch, creating a confusing mix between pain and pleasure. “how are you feeling?”

“f- feels good, i- i-” you were struggling to form coherent sentences, too focused on how he was lapping at your nipples, sucking and kissing them gently. “y- you can continue…”

steadily, choso started to thrust his fingers into you - gradually, the burn was disappearing and replaced by a delicious stretch, pleasure that was spreading throughout your body and setting your nerves on fire. desperately clinging onto his shirt, you hid your face in the crook of his neck. choso placed a kiss on the crown of your head, whispering sweet praises and telling you what a good girl you were. it felt good, so good but something was missing, you needed something, maybe more. you started begging and despite blabbering nonsensical things, choso understood what you were asking of him. his fingers hit a peculiar spot inside of you when he curled them, making you jerk in surprise. “o- oh!” again and again, choso was hitting the spot, making you writhe on his lap.

something was building up in the pit of your stomach, like a tightened coil that was about to snap at any time. panicking slightly, you grabbed choso’s hand and tried to close your legs, wiggling away from him: “h- hey wait, i-” another moan broke from your lips when choso sealed your lips with his and wrapped his arm around your waist, locking you in place. “it’s okay, let go, baby. cum for me,” he whispered against your lips, sinking his fingers in you one last time. and then the coil snapped, the high crashing over you like a riptide, so blinding and intense that it took you a while to come down from it. your thighs were still trembling by the time you came back to your senses, ripples of pleasure still cursing through you.

you slump against choso's chest, exhausted from the intensity of your orgasm but feeling wonderfully blissed out. choso removed his hand from you, licking your arousal from his fingers before wiping them off on a paper towel. he brushed his fingers through your hair, pressing a kiss on your forehead. "how are you feeling? can you move?"

"my legs feel like jelly," your voice came out muffled, face still pressed into his chest. "'m feeling good though. that was… really nice."

"i'll carry you upstairs," choso declared matter-of-factly, hoisting you up so he could carry you. you slung your arms around his neck, pecking the side of his neck. his scent was faint but calming, lulling you into a sense of home and comfort. you wanted to stay close to him like this, just having him hold you in his arms. a myriad of emotions welled up in you, swallowing all your doubts until all that was left was the budding blossoms of your feelings for him, nurtured by his soft touches and adoring treatment. you wanted to cherish him, keep him close for as long as you could, as long as you could still have him.

"thank you."

"for what?" choso sounded surprised.

"taking care of me? i mean i pay you for it but i still wanted to let you know that i appreciate it."

“everything for you, baby,” choso replied softly, tightening his grip around you. as you got to his apartment, choso placed you on the couch and knelt down, hands wrapping around yours. “do you want to get changed? i’ll lend you some of my clothes, you can get changed in my room or in the bathroom if you want to freshen up.”

he was so so considerate, you couldn’t believe someone as nice as him existed out there. as you agreed, choso disappeared in his room; the sound of opening doors and drawers as well as rustling resounded from his room. you took the opportunity to observe his home. it was a small but cozy apartment, despite being sparsely decorated. in the back of the living room, you could spot some bags and boxes, presumably choso’s surfing equipment, as well as posters and photos cluttered on a pinboard. here and there, some little figurines and trinkets were spread across the apartment. although it was cozy, the apartment lacked some kind of presence, some warmth. you assumed that it had to do with choso’s job - he probably was rarely home between work and spending time with friends and family.

“here you go,” choso handed you a big sweatshirt and some shorts as he came back, patting your head teasingly. “go and get changed, i’ll start preparing dinner, yeah?”

you hid in the bathroom and got changed, neatly folding your clothes and stacking them on the counter. inspecting yourself in the mirror, you admired the size of choso’s sweater - it was a simple and cream coloured sweater that was entirely dwarfing and engulfing you. the sleeves were way too long and the hem almost reached your knees. but it was soft and comfy, coming close to choso’s hugs. you pulled the shorts up your legs, awkwardly securing them by tucking them underneath the sweater. choso had set up some boiling water and was silently chopping vegetables by the time you left the bathroom and tip toed towards the kitchen. “can i help you with anything?”

“no it’s okay, take a seat. do you want anything to drink? water? tea?” reluctantly, you sat at the small table on the side, pouting at him. choso simply laughed and shook his head, bringing a glass of water over. your heart jumped in surprise when he kissed your forehead as he placed the glass on the table. “i’ll take care of you for today. boyfriend duties, remember? the past times you’ve always taken us out on restaurants and incredible locations and now it’s my turn to show you the boyfriend magic.”

sudden dread filled your stomach. how could choso be so warm and kind-hearted to you, when you weren’t even in a relationship? you keep having to remind yourself that this was what he was doing for a living, that you might possibly never know the real him. that this might just be a mask that he kept on for the sake of your requests. you didn’t reply, deep in your thoughts as you stared at the glass of water. choso returned back to his previous task, cooking dinner in silence. your chest felt heavy with uncertainty and disappointment - you tried your best to push the emotions down. they were irrational, you knew full well what you were getting yourself into when you asked for his service.

thankfully, choso didn’t seem to have picked up on your sullen mood, even throughout dinner - you let no emotions shine through when you conversed with him, choosing to keep it lighthearted. you offered to wash the dishes, not wanting him to lift another finger when you could help him in return. as you scrubbed the bowls, choso creeped up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist, placing his chin on your shoulder. “you wanna watch a movie? or go to bed already? you’ve had a long day at work after all.”

“hmm, yeah. i think i’d prefer going to bed, if that’s okay for you?”

“i could never say no to cuddles,” choso hummed, capturing your lips in another kiss. you whimpered against them, not being able to resist him. he moaned against your lips, grip on you tightening. “please don’t tempt me, it’s so hard to say no to you,” he warned you with a strained voice.

your face grew warm at the memories of a few hours ago. you couldn’t believe you let him do that, let him finger you in his car in the garage. no one had seen you and you were thankful for that but you wanted the ground to swallow you whole at the thought of someone possibly snitching on you. your father would lose his mind. “is- is it not what you want?”

“of course i do, but not today. baby steps, remember? we have all the time in the world. and i can assure you that i very much want you,” with one last peck on your lips, he removed himself from you and disappeared in his room. he wanted you. your heart was soaring at his confession. you were relieved to know that he was craving you as much as you were yearning for him. maybe you would indulge, just for a couple more times until you would inevitably have to cut off the relationship. you felt at peace with your decision, you told yourself. nothing good would come from false hope.

after washing up, you joined choso on the bed, shyly crawling towards him as he opened his arms and welcomed you. he pulled you into his chest, nearly crushing you with his weight. it made you giggle and squirm in his arms, trying to wiggle out of his hold. choso was having none of it, peppering kisses all over your face as he trapped you in place. gasping for air in between your carefree laughter, you weakly pushed at his head, squealing when he dove in to blow raspberries on your neck. he showed mercy and let up, instead curiously inspecting your neck as he pulled the neckline of your, no his, sweater down. something dark was glinting in his eyes as his eyes zoomed in on the hickeys he had left on your neck and chest - he felt strangely satisfied, pleased with his work of art. a sliver of possessiveness overcame him as he traced the trail of red marks on your neck, humming quietly.

“something wrong with my neck?” you questioned confused, not having spotted the hickeys yet. choso shook his head, simply laid back on his side again to look at you. “not at all. was just inspecting the hickeys i left on you.”

“you left marks?” you gaped at him, mildly shocked at the revelation. though he was preoccupied with your neck earlier, you didn’t expect him to actually leave so many marks, much less ones that were visible. “is… is that a common occurrence?”

“for couples? i think so. but i can’t speak for everyone; if it was me, i would do it frequently. stake my claim on you, let everyone know that you’re mine,” choso replied and casually draped the blanket over the two of you, as if he didn’t just admit to doing something he would normally do with a lover. did he think of you as his? you struggled to decipher his actions, not being able to match it with a specific reason.

“that’s uh-” your stuttering was interrupted by another horrifying thought. “oh god, i can’t let my parents see this, they will kill me.”

choso shot you a confused look. you hadn’t told him about your parents yet or how you were hiding this from them.

“my parents… especially my dad, are very cautious about letting me venture out in romantic relationships. it’s mostly because he didn’t feel like anyone was good enough for me and because he didn’t want me to get hurt. sometimes i felt like those princesses locked up in a tower, you know? so i decided to explore and uh, hired you. i didn’t want to burden my friends with having to help me gain some experience,” you explained to choso, eyes widening when he suddenly grabbed your hand and pressed a kiss to it. he winked at you cheekily before leaning over you to turn off the lights. you felt him press a gentle kiss to your lips but you couldn’t make out his face expression in the dark. choso preferred it like this, so you couldn’t tell the vulnerable look on his face, the ache of knowing that he could never fully be yours.

“then i’m glad i get to serve a princess such as you.”

----------

“you’ve been spending an awful lot of time with choso,” nobara commented as she took a sip from her coffee, reaching out to grab one of the muffins you had ordered. you looked away in embarrassment. it’s been nearly two months since you’ve started to meet up with choso. your dates became more frequent, even the casual texting continued. and yet you hadn’t really told your friends about your progress or how you felt about him, either brushing it off or giving them vague details. it was only natural that nobara and maki grew suspicious, vowing to grill you about it the next time you would meet up. “have you done the deed?”

“n- no! not yet,” you answered hastily, the topic still making you feel bashful. though you had talked to choso about it; he had agreed and hinted that you might go all the way the next time you would meet up. it was weird, scheduling something like this. but you felt more at ease knowing that it was approaching and you could somewhat prepare your nerves for it. “we talked about it though… next time, maybe?”

“i see,” maki nodded slowly, deep in thought. “you’ve been skirting around this escort thing a lot. is there something you’re hiding from us?”

“nope! not at all!”

“y/n… we’re looking out for you as friends. i know you told us that you trust choso and that he’s the nicest person you have ever but is there something more?” maki gave you a gentle nudge. the serious look in her eyes told you that you better not give her a lame excuse. even nobara, who was usually playful in nature, looked mildly concerned. as much concern as she could muster up anyways. sheepishly, you stared at your mug, watching the milk swirl with your hot chocolate. surely, they would tell you to stop seeing him, to stay away. because catching feelings for someone whose true feelings and self you could never uncover… should have been something you could have prevented. if only it hadn’t been so easy to give in, so easy to develop feelings for choso.

“uhm. i just realized that i like him, like a lot. i know i shouldn’t and should have circumvented the issue somehow but now i’m stuck with my feelings. and it’s just confusing. before you get mad at me, i’ve already decided to cut it off after our next date. i can’t dwell on it for too long because realistically, nothing is going to happen.”

wordlessly, nobara gave you a hug, patting your back to soothe you. “is he really that great though?” maki lightly swatted nobara’s arm and gave her an eyeroll. her comment made you laugh, she knew how to lighten up a situation.

“i think so. very gentleman-like and just takes good care of everything. i really appreciate how well he’s been taking care of me this entire time. he just is the perfect boyfriend, you know?” nobara nodded but you could tell from her face that she was trying to put the puzzle pieces together. it made you laugh again, pinching her cheek playfully. you didn’t want to worry your friends too much. they always helped you in every situation and now it was time you would take care of everything yourself.

“i can’t believe this entire time we were trying to find you a perfect partner and you’ve gone and went the whole nine yards, boyfriend experience and heartbreak all together,” maki joked and ruffled your hair, giving you a reassuring smile. “you know we’re there for you if you need emotional support in this, right? we might not be much of a help while you go through the fake breakup but we can help you take your mind off afterwards.”

you sniffled a little at the thought. your next date was fast approaching and you were grateful to have such great friends, who would always look out for you and be understanding even if you made dumb mistakes. your next step would be to learn how to mend a broken heart.

everything had to be perfect. the entire evening you had been on the move, busy cleaning your apartment and room and spending time in the bathroom making yourself look presentable. you still felt nervous exposing all of you to choso, never had anyone seen you naked before. the thought of it had made you so anxious that you’d called nobara who promptly suggested you wear cute underwear and something comfy to ease yourself into it. chances were that choso didn’t really care and wouldn’t judge you anyways; he had always been generous with compliments, always telling you how pretty you looked, how cute you were, and what a good girl you were for him. you didn’t think you could feel so fired up from praises nor did you think that you would be craving to hear them so much until choso came along. the feeling of euphoria that overtook you whenever he praised you, along with the pleasure he gave you whenever you were fooling around - it was a deadly combination.

knocks at the door made you perk up, hastily racing over to the door to let choso in. he chuckled when you immediately wrapped your arms around his waist and buried your face in his chest. “hey baby, missed me much, huh? i missed you too,” choso admitted, softly combing his fingers through your hair. you peeked up at him from below, closing your eyes as you leaned into his touch like a cat. “mhmm, missed you a lot,” you mumbled, humming in content as choso pecked your lips briefly before waddling inside the apartment with you in his arms, closing the door behind him

“what am i going to do with you?” he mumbled amused and sat down on the couch, pulling you onto his lap. he squished your cheeks between his hands, kissing your pouty lips with a broad smile. “you always make it so hard for me to leave.”

your heart sunk at his last words, remembering how you were planning to proceed by the end of this date. surely, it couldn’t be so hard and he wouldn’t think much of it since it was all business anyways. and yet, you couldn’t help but seize up with dread, not wanting to hurt him. if, and only if he would actually be affected by it. you placed your hands on his, sticking your tongue out at him. you teased him: “you leave but you always return, right? doesn’t that give you something to look forward to?”

“yeah, always come bouncing back…” choso trailed off, a faraway look on his face. you couldn’t tell what he was thinking - each emotion that surfaced was only fleeting and quickly wiped from his face expression as if it never existed in the first place. perhaps he was keeping his heart as guarded as yours, for baring the most vulnerable parts of yourself could be your downfall. he ran his hands along your thighs, rubbing the bare skin gently, fingers teasingly slipping under the hem of your shorts. your breath hitched in your throat, expecting him to move his hands up further. but by now, choso knew how to play you like a fiddle, what drew beautiful moans out of you, what made you whimper in anticipation and how to build up tension. he knew how to tease you and use it to his advantage; knew well that you would follow his instructions like the good girl that you were, never disappointing him. “gotta take care of my princess, hm?”

choso dipped down, brushing the strands of your hair out of the way, showering it in kisses. you mewled quietly, tilting your head to the side to allow him more access to your neck. he was still murmuring between kisses, telling you how sweet you were, how he was going to make you sing his name, how he was going to take care of you. the whispered praises were getting to your head, you easily melted into his touch. “c- choso,” you gasped, already drowning in him as his presence clouded your senses, wrapping around you as if nothing else but him existed. “please touch me.”

“your wish is my command,” choso lifted you up as if you weighed nothing, carrying you to your bedroom with ease. gently, he dropped you on the bed, simply hovering over you without saying a word. the look in his eyes knocked the air out of your lungs; you loved his eyes, his dark brown eyes that were filled with so much warmth and love, now darkened and filled with lust. he observed you, waiting for you to make a move - you stayed still, tense with anticipation. with every single intimate encounter you had with him, you gradually learned that choso enjoyed being in control, overjoyed when you were obedient and remembered what he had told you. he liked having you at his mercy, being the first and only one to discover the expanse of your body, to pleasure you in ways you were yet to familiarize yourself with.

choso’s tapped your lips, carefully sliding two fingers in when you willingly parted your lips and sucked on them. the weight of his fingers on your tongue, the dazed look on his eyes as he watched you - it was all so erotic, so arousing. you lifted your hips, grinding against his thighs for some kind of relief. it drew a slightly irritated click of the tongue from choso, gently pressing his fingers against your tongue. but he enjoyed the view, seeing how you wanted him so much, how you were seeking relief by humping his thigh. you could already feel yourself soaking through your panties and your thin shorts, arousal smearing across choso’s thigh and leaving a wet spot on his jeans.

pulling his fingers out of your mouth, he slid them down, lower and lower, smearing your spit across your skin. his fingers stopped right at the buttons of your blouse, playfully rolling them between his fingers. slowly, he unbuttoned the blouse, pushing the fabric off your shoulders to reveal your bra. you squirmed, suddenly feeling shy and embarrassed about being so exposed in front of him. “you’re beautiful,” choso reminded you. “don’t hide from me. i want to see all of you.”

reluctantly, you kept your arms at your sides, instead clenching your fingers around the fabric of your comforter. teasingly, his hands dragged across the tops of your breasts before dipping lower. “look at you, how soaked you are already. you’ve even left a spot on my jeans. i haven’t even touched you properly yet… has my princess missed me this much?” he mused, gently rubbing circles across your skin. he was careful not to move anywhere close to your crotch, resolutely keeping his hand near your navel.

“yes, please touch me,” you mewled, grasping his hand to guide him towards the hem of your shorts. his hand splayed across your mound, rubbing in deliberately slow movements, making you sigh in relief. choso tugged on your shorts, dragging them down your legs with ease. you clenched your eyes shut, hiding your face behind your hands. choso stayed silent for a few seconds and simply admired you in the dim light of your room. he could tell that you'd chosen a nice set of underwear to impress him - you looked so cute in it, like a present waiting to be unwrapped. he took notice of the dark patch on the crotch of your panties, how they were clinging onto your skin and how your arousal was glistening on your inner thighs.

"you look breathtaking," choso complimented you, gently removing your hands from your face. "i told you not to hide, didn't i? give me all of you, baby."

you blinked a few times, sheepishly thanking him. his praises overwhelmed you, making your chest swell with pride. but still, you didn't know how to react when he was singing your praises, too bashful to reply coherently. choso removed your panties in painstakingly slow movements, leaving trails of kisses on your inner thighs up to your ankle. throwing your panties to the floor, he then pulled your legs over his shoulders. you watched him bewildered, not sure what to make of it. the position made you feel oddly exposed; all of your senses were heightened, strained to focus on choso only. the oversensitivity caused your hips to jerk when choso’s breath hit your pussy, keen on receiving attention. the swipe of his tongue on your slit was something you didn’t expect - the sensation was new, uncharted territory, so different from his fingers. it drew a whimper from your lips, making your toes curl against his back.

languidly, he was lapping at your folds, taking his time to get you used to the feeling. it wasn’t until his tongue dragged across your clit, lips wrapping around it to suck gently, that whines and whimpers spilled forth from your lips. your hips automatically lurched forward, rocking against his face. you couldn’t wrap your head around the pleasure it provided you, how it rendered you into a babbling mess with only his name on your lips like some mantra. needing to busy your hands otherwise, you clenched your fingers around his hair, subconsciously pressing his face into your pussy. choso groaned against you, the slight burn turning him on beyond relief. you felt like you’re floating, higher and higher, rapidly approaching your high and it was still a feeling you’re trying to get used to, a feeling that you readily welcomed and craved.

it was a combination of all the touches that bring you closer to the edge; how he was sucking at your clit before flattening his tongue against your clit, paying close attention to it, how it was repeatedly and rapidly dragging across your folds. it made you sob, begging him to make you cum. choso pulled you even closer, fingers digging into your thighs as he lapped at your swollen clit, again and again until you come with a loud moan, barch arching from the bed, heels digging into choso’s shoulder blades. clenching your eyes shut, you attempted to push his face away from you, now feeling too sensitive. your legs were trembling uncontrollably, you gasped for air as your high washes over you and slowly ebbing away. choso sat up on his knees and only then you see the arousal smeared across his chin and lips. the sight sent electric shocks up your spine, breath hitching in your throat. he looked so fucking hot like this. he gave you no time to be embarrassed about it, wiping the slick off his skin and licking it off his hands.

“c- choso, what-” you croaked, voice all raspy from your relentless moaning. choso didn’t reply, instead kissed you open mouthed - the taste of your arousal was still present on his tongue. in the back of your mind, you thought about how dirty it was and yet so thrilling, eliciting a hunger for him. desperately, you were tugging at his shirt, trying to get it off. you were struggling, huffing in frustration as he didn’t budge. choso laughed, pecking your lips apologetically before taking it off along with his pants. even in the dim light you could make out the bulge in his pants, a testament of much he wanted you. the sight made you salivate, your pussy clenching around nothing. he took notice of your dazed look, grabbing your chin to tilt it up. “are you sure you want this? do you want me?”

you nodded quickly, eyes widening at his question. “of course, i want you, never wanted anything more. please, choso.”

“you have me, all of me,” he retorted, a tender look in his eyes. again, your heart clenched. just one more time you would get to see him like this, pretend he really was your lover. but when he looked at you with so much adoration in his eyes, it was hard to believe that there wasn’t a spark between you. unbeknownst to you, choso had always looked at you with stars in his eyes, hoping that you would return the sentiment. no matter how hard he was keeping his feelings at bay, the cracks were widening, allowing more and more feelings to seep through. with each touch, each word that you exchanged, the dam was weakening and threatening to spill everything that he was keeping inside.

choso gently pressed you back down onto the mattress, fingers fumbling with the condom that he’d pulled out of his jeans. you watched with fascination as he put it on, not being able to take your gaze of it. he grinned, deciding to indulge you, pressing his cock against you. arousal was still leaking from you, allowing him to easily slide against you. deliberately, he nudged the head against your clit until you couldn’t take it anymore. you wiggled your hips, signaling him to do something, do put you out of your misery. choso glanced at you for permission, suddenly seeming to be nervous himself. you gave him a small nod, leaning up to cradle his cheeks and kiss him. choso began to push, slowly slipping past your folds and- the stretching burn, it was there again and made you tense up.

choso grasped your hands, intertwining them and showered your face with kisses, whispering sweet nothings and encouragement. the feeling was familiar and yet strange at the same time, the girth of his fingers were nothing compared to his cock. it was a tight fit; you were aware of him, so aware of him. muffled, you heard choso telling you to relax, that he didn’t want to hurt you, to take your time. he was still pushing, distracting you from the uncomfortable pain with kisses. with one last thrust, he’s pushed the entirety of him in you. faintly, you could feel pain gradually ebbing away. the fullness of him, the throbbing; you clenched around him, a quiet moan leaving your lips as choso’s hips jerk in response.

“you okay? can i move now?” he whispered against your lips. you nodded, feeling choso smile against your lips. your breath hitched in anticipation as he pulls out ever so slightly before thrusting back in. you let out a whimper at the sudden thrum of incoming pleasure, hands squeezing his. choso thrusted his length in and out of you slowly, still wanting you to get used to it. the drag of it against your walls, the way his cock ever so slightly bumped against that spot inside of you that made your body sing - you sobbed out his name, hips tilting up to meet his movements. choso had no qualms obliging to your unspoken wants, upping the pace once he’s made sure you felt comfortable.

slowly, his inhibitions fell apart upon seeing you desperately cling onto him, moaning out his name as he pulled out and drove back in, deeper than before. you saw stars when he hit the spot inside of you, burying himself inside of you completely. it’s been a short amount of time but choso was quick to figure out what made you shake in pleasure in particular, memorizing every little nudge and wiggle that would have you gasp out his name. the closeness, the intimacy, it easily beat everything else that you’ve ever done before but it was now that you realized that no one could compare to choso. while your initial goal was to simply learn and gain some experience, somewhere along the way, you veered off the path. perhaps your goal was never to find out what it was like engaging in sexual activities but rather to experience it with someone you loved. it was then that you realized you didn’t care about these things unless you could experience them with choso.

while choso was no stranger to having people in his bed, the sight of you was one he would never be able to get out of his head again. how your moans and whimpers were getting more frequent with each thrust, how you were sobbing his name whenever he hit particularly deep inside of you, how your small hands were holding onto his, how you clenched around him whenever he praised you. he wanted to keep you for himself, to impale himself in you in such ways that you could never look at other people the same way anymore. “i- i’m close,” you hiccuped between sobs, back lurching from the bed. “choso, p- please, i wanna cum, i-”

“i’ve got you, princess,” he assured you, diving down to kiss you feverishly. relentlessly, his hips pistoned against yours, desperate to make you cum. choso couldn’t hold back any longer, he was close, so close. wanting to cum with you, he reached down to rub your clit. your reaction was almost instantaneous, legs pressing against his side as you came, his name on your lips like a prayer. he came with you, burying his face in the crook of your neck as groans left his lips, mixed with your name and curses. his hips stuttered as they pressed against you one last time, staying in place until he’s spilled all of him in the condom. you felt like you were floating, still dazed from the intensity of your orgasm. absentmindedly, you wrapped your arms around his neck, hand absentmindedly playing with the hair at his nape. choso let out a noise, akin to a cat’s purr, nudging his head against your hand. his gesture made you giggle and you strained your neck to press a kiss against his forehead.

slowly, choso removed himself from you, letting out a breathy laugh as you protested. you made grabby hands at him but he simply tutted, disappearing in the bathroom to dispose of the condom and came back with a wet towel. it felt comforting, the warmth of the towel as well as his gentle touches, lulling you into a sleepy state. it didn’t take long for him to join you again once he was done, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his chest like the countless times he’s done so before. “how are you feeling? i didn’t hurt you, did i?”

you shook your head, trying to find the right words. in the end, nothing came into your mind to appropriately tell him how mind blowingly good he made you feel so you just settle with: “felt good, really good. didn’t hurt, jus’ felt uncomfortable at first. but you made it okay, it’s okay when it’s with you.”

“i see,” choso let out a relieved breath, laughing as you blinked at him stunned. you looked adorable, still floating and coming down from your high. “i’m glad i was your first, glad i could do it justice. just wanted you to feel good.”

“mhmm, thank you,” you slurred sleepily, arms wrapping around his waist. you felt so warm and loved, not wanting to let go of the feeling just yet. “can we do it again some other day? you promised to show me what you still wanted to do to me.”

“y/n, sweetheart, when will you be coming to visit us again? i know it’s your summer break right now and you’re busy but we thought it might be nice to go on a short family trip. what do you think?” your mother pleaded over the phone. you could see her pout on the screen, her attempt at guilt tripping you into visiting more. truthfully, you felt bad about not having been able to see your family so much - the amount of assignments and final exams was swamping you and you just wanted to get through them before going on vacation. that and the fact that you couldn’t properly look them in the eyes anymore ever since being with choso.

you just couldn’t let go of him, nor could you admit your feelings to him, in fear it would make him uncomfortable. it was irrational, reckless even, to keep paying for a service you technically didn’t need anymore. simply to keep a person you had feelings for around for longer. nobara and maki didn’t know about this either, you knew they would have your head as soon as you confessed. it was irrational and you knew it. and yet it was so hard to let go. with every waking moment, you craved choso, his tenderness and loving gaze, the warmth of his arms, the domesticity that the two of you shared, how natural it seemed when you spent time together. and so you kept returning to him, over and over again

“i’m sorry, mum, i’m just really busy right now. but i promise i’ll let you know when i’m free, okay? i’m sure we can find a fitting date for the trip,” you attempted to soothe your mother, giving her an apologetic smile. she rolled her eyes at you playfully but shrugged it off, knowing that you didn’t mean anything by it. before you could tell her goodbye, your mother suddenly stopped you, waving at the screen.

“sweetheart, one of my friends- her son, i told him about you. he’s a very nice young man and i think you would get along well. when you come visit us, i’ll introduce him to you, yeah?” she explained, a giddy smile creeping onto her lips. “i’ve told him a little about you and your father doesn’t mind either. he has a good background too, i’m trying not to swoon.” she giggled as if she was the one who was to be set up on a date with him.

your eyes widened ever so slightly at her revelation but what shocked you more was that choso had seemingly heard what your mother had said. he was still sleeping when your mother had called you, so you hid in the kitchen to talk, not wanting to disturb his sleep. he stood in the doorway, blinking at you confused. you made sure to turn a little so your mother couldn’t see him. “mum, i told you i’m not really interested yet and want to go at my own pace-”

“honey, i know but the opportunity was just there. i couldn’t pass it up and you can still reject him, no? just try to meet him at least once.”

you sighed. “we’ll talk about it again when i’m home, okay? but don’t put too much hope in it, please.”

“i know, i know. i’ll talk to you again another day. love you, sweetheart,” your mum said goodbye to you and hung up. you groaned, tossing your phone to the side and buried your face in your hands. choso was not supposed to hear any of that. even though you two weren’t really in a relationship, and he had assured you that he wasn’t sleeping with anyone else, keeping his work at accompanying clients only, you still felt like you were somewhat betraying him. you felt choso’s presence moving behind you, then his arms wrapping around you, his chin being placed on your head. you couldn’t see the slightly irritated look in his eyes, the jealous glint that told you he didn’t want you to look at anyone but him.

“your mum seems to be eager to find you a partner,” he commented amused. you groaned, swatting at his arm.

“i don’t know why they’re suddenly so persistent after not deeming anyone as suitable for years,” grumbling, you turned slightly, pressing a kiss to choso’s chin. “i’m not really in the mood to go on dates just yet, so she’ll have to deal with it.”

“not in the mood for dates?” choso echoed, pinching your cheek. “not even with me?”

you whined, burying your face in his chest. you didn’t want to let him see how his words excited you. “no, i’m always in the mood for you, for dates with you.”

“that’s good to know. we’re going out later after all,” choso laughed, combing his fingers through your hair. “i did promise to take you to the beach and teach you how to surf.”

one of the reasons you didn’t come visit your parents immediately when your summer break began was because you’d already planned a short trip with choso. weeks ago choso had proposed you’d go to the beach together and you were thrilled by the idea, not having been by the sea in years. you’d rented a little cabin by the beach for the two of you while choso had prepared everything for the car ride. the car ride would be rather long but you weren’t worried about it at all - in the beginning, you’d been apprehensive, rather awkward with him. he eased you into everything, showing you not to be scared of relationships and to just be yourself. conversation was easy with him as if you’d been long term friends, with no worries or restrictions. for weeks, you’d looked forward to the trip, to spend more time with him.

the car ride was filled with laughter and calming music, you shared stories and secrets with each other, you fed him the snacks that you’d made the night before. you felt blissful, happily ignoring all the consequences that might be coming your way - you wanted to enjoy your time with him as much as you could. the dance that the two of you were engaging in, it was romantic and felt so domestic, while skirting around the important issue. inspecting your intertwined hands, you clasped your other free hand around his, rubbing the skin gently. choso shot you a concerned, questioning look but you brushed him off, assuring that nothing was wrong. “i’m just happy to be sharing this uh… boyfriend experience with you, really. i wouldn’t wanna do it with someone else.”

choso shot you a wistful smile, lifting your hand to press a kiss on it. “i’m glad you feel that way. you deserve only the best, someone who treats you like the princess that you are.”

the feeling of the grainy sand below you, wind blowing your hair in every direction, sun on your skin, water splashing against your shins - you felt like suddenly all your worries were washed away. you were still running through the shallow water, giggling as you saw choso catching up on you. upping your speed, you jumped through the water until he managed to grab you by your wrist, pulling you into his chest. he lifted you up, twirling you around in his arms a few times before setting you back on your feet, leaning in to kiss you. “you can’t just run away like that, all our stuff is still stranded over there,” he scolded you, playfully flicking your forehead. you glanced behind you, seeing how choso had already placed all the towels, cooler and bags on the beach chairs.

“it’s okay, we have the beach to ourselves anyways,” you retorted cheekily. choso couldn’t argue, instead rolled his eyes. the beach house that you had rented for the weekend was on the outskirts of the city, a rather quiet spot that also had a private beach. the paranoia that your parents might possibly spot you somewhere was running deep and so you didn’t want to risk anything. choso could teach you how to surf in peace, without any bystanders or crowded spaces. but now that you were sitting on the beach chair, you noticed that choso’s mind seemed to be elsewhere as he clumsily fumbled with the bags. you gnawed at your bottom lip, hoping that your earlier conversation with your mother wasn’t on his mind.

“you okay there? can i help you with anything?”

“huh? yeah,” choso answered after a second of processing, shaking his head. “uh i just get distracted looking at you. you look good in that bikini.”

“oh shut up,” you retorted but hid your face from him, still growing bashful even though you were used to him complimenting you out of nowhere. he shot you a wink, resuming his work. “but… choso, you can talk to me if anything bothers you, you know that?”

“yeah, i know… but don’t worry, i think this is something i have to figure out for myself first before i tell anyone,” he padded over, kissing your forehead. “but i appreciate it.”

deciding to drop the topic, you joined him, watching how he demonstrated his surfing skills. if he didn’t want to talk about it, you would respect it; and maybe, just maybe, he would open up to you about it. you watched as choso surfed through the waves, the sight filling you with bright happiness. he looked so happy to be surfing again, the usual tired look on his face wiped away as if it had never been there in the first place. he looked like he was truly at home, comforted and surrounded by the crashing waves. you understood what he meant by being distracted - choso looked good in his trunks as well, the water drops that were rolling down his body, his exposed upper body, the way his loose, slightly damp hair was falling over his face. you very much enjoyed the sight and almost felt creepy for staring so much.

as per usual, choso was a wonderful teacher, remaining calm and patient while he gave you instructions, comforting you when you weren’t doing so well and was always right by your side encouraging you. you hadn’t had this much fun in a while, especially not with someone other than from your close friend circle. it was easy to lose the track of time when being with him, all your thoughts and anxieties washed away like the seashells at the shore. by the end of the day, you were utterly exhausted, your muscles feeling like jelly. as you laid on the bed, you still felt like you were rocked and swayed back and forth by the waves. it was relaxing, almost lulling you into a deep slumber if it wasn’t for the sound of the running shower and choso’s humming. you opened the window, before returning to bed, wrapping the blanket around you. the sound of waves sloshing against the shore echoed through the room, making you feel like you were actually sleeping at the beach.

it didn’t take long for choso to return; you felt the bed dip beside you before you heard him. pretending to be asleep, you waited until he said anything but were instead greeted with a kiss on your nape. you squirmed a little, the feelings of his lips tickling the sensitive skin. a giggle broke from your lips, unable to stay silent any longer. “did i make you wait for too long?” he asked quietly, grabbing you by the hips to turn you around to face him. you shook your head and gave him a smile, leaning in to peck his lips. “no but i did miss you. did i tell you that i now get what you meant by being distracted? you looked really hot in your trunks and so serious while giving me instructions.”

“ah, really?” choso hovered over you, placing his hands beside your head. you’d only offered simple compliments but he was already so fired up, making you grin. “you can’t just tell me that and expect me not to do anything. don’t you know that i’m always hungry for you? i’ll ravish you right here.”

“what if i want you to ravish me?” you bravely retorted, your voice slightly cracking at the end. rarely were you ever bold with him but at this moment, you might as well indulge him. as an reward for teaching you how to surf and being so patient about it. choso clicked with his tongue, pleased with your reply. before he could move, you suddenly felt an urge to go further, wanting to be the one to initiate intercourse for once. you placed your hands on his chest, pushing gently. he looked at you confused, cocking his head to the side. if it wasn’t for the hungry look in his eyes, you would’ve cooed at how adorable he looked. “uhm can i… suck you off for today? i mean you’re always the one who- who makes me feel so good and i know you said you liked it but i just wanted to return the favour…”

choso short circuited at your request, momentarily leaving his mouth wide open as he stared at you. “y- yeah of course, if that’s what you want,” he spluttered hastily, sitting up on his knees. feeling giddy, you shuffled off the bed, positioning yourself at the edge of the bed and waiting for him to move. choso gulped, slowly moving towards the edge. he leaned down to kiss you, your hands snaked towards the waistband of his sweatpants, some doubt overcame you again, slowing your movements. sensing your hesitation, he patted your head and ruffled your hair. “you don’t have to do it, if you feel too nervous about it.”

“no, i want to, really,” you assured him, grasping the waistband and dragging it down. choso lifted his hips slightly, helping you remove his pants. his boxers followed soon after. gently, you wrapped your hands around his semi-hard cock, giving it some gentle strokes. choso exhaled shakily, leaning back on his hands as he kept his watchful eyes on you. you leaned in, flattening your tongue against the underside, running your tongue over the underside, tracing it until you reached the cockhead. gingerly, you gave it a few kitten licks before wrapping your lips around it. hands still stroking him, you delved in, taking as much as much as you could. choso tilted his head back, moaning loudly. it spurred you on, eagerly you bopped your head against him, paying close attention to the sensitive head as you licked and sucked at it. curiously, you licked the slit, tasting the precum on it. the taste was unfamiliar, nothing like you’d ever had before but you weren’t sure what to make of it. but you weren’t grossed out by it, thankfully.

choso’s hips jerked when you touched a particularly sensitive spot, not being able to control his own body anymore. usually, he was more composed, holding himself back for the sake of you - immediately, he stopped and apologized, staring at you with wide eyes. “fuck, i’m so sorry, that wasn’t meant to happen. did i hurt you?” he cupped your cheek, guiltily examining you.

“‘m okay, don’t worry about it. it just surprised me a little, that’s all. but if it’s what you like… i uh, don’t mind,” you reassured him.

“f- fuck, you can’t just say that because i will and-”

“like i said, i don’t mind. i want to make you feel good too.” reluctantly, choso nodded and relaxed again, letting you proceed. you were eager to make him cum, enthusiastically moving your head along the shaft. you welcomed choso’s shallow thrusts, glancing up to watch his reactions. his skin was beautifully flushed, eyes were closed, groans muffled as he bit his bottom lip. you struggled to take his cock in deeper, instead wrapping your hands around the parts you couldn’t reach. when choso’s thrusts got sloppier, you could tell that he was getting close.

“y/n, fuck- i’m gonna- wait, you-” unable to finish his sentence, he moaned, hips stuttering again as you swirled your tongue around the sensitive tip. you suckled on his length eagerly, hands pumping the base faster and choso couldn’t keep it in any longer, coming with a loud moan. you continued suckling on the tip, helping him through his orgasm until he’s spilled all of him in your mouth. sitting back on your knees, you removed yourself from him.

eyes wide and glossy, you looked up at him as he pulled away slightly so he could look at you. choso brushed your hair back, then lifted your chin up, tapping your bottom lip. "show me," he said in a low, hoarse voice, patiently waiting until you opened your mouth and showed him. showed him his cum that was still pooling on your tongue. a few seconds passed until he finally reacted - just the sight of you on your knees, obediently following his orders and showing him your work had his insides stirring with something dark, possessive. "swallow," he whispered, adoringly cupping your cheek as you eagerly swallowed. your face felt hot, whether by embarrassment or pride, you didn't know. quietly cursing, he pulled you up while leaning down, meeting your lips halfway.

unceremoniously, choso dropped you on the bed, making you giggle quietly as you bounced on the mattress. hovering over you, he captured your lips in yet another kiss. you wrapped your arms around his neck, hugging him to your body. choso pressed his groin against yours, experimentally rolling his hips to elicit a reaction from you. burying your face into the crook of his neck, you couldn’t help but writhe from the pleasure - and even though you’ve been sleeping with each other, you still felt too shy to ask him for… more. how could you express what exactly you wanted when you were craving all of him? when you wanted to engrave everything into your brain; the feeling of his body against yours, his touch, the sweet as well as the dirty words he whispered into your ear. it was almost unfair how easily he could draw a reaction from you, as if he’d memorized every little aspect about you already.

choso nipped at your neck, about to leave a mark when you frantically pushed at his chest. “no visible marks, i told you!” you reminded him, almost feeling bad when you saw his disappointed face. but rules were rules, you didn’t want your parents to find out you were sneaking around with someone; you were barely able to look into their eyes as is. he huffed against your neck, burying his face in the crook of your neck in frustration. seconds passed without a reaction before he finally sat up on his knees, hands reaching out to tug on your shirt. “but everywhere else is fine, hm?” he mused, dragging his warm hands across your chest to your shoulder to push the fabric off.

“i- i guess,” you spluttered, barely having any time to react as he’s already moved on, lavishing your breasts with kisses while leaving a trail of hickeys on them. you whimpered, hips rolling up against his. through your panties, you could feel the outlines of his cock; the anticipation of him filling you up made you salivate. choso was quick to remove your panties and rolling a condom on upon hearing your desperate whimpers that were urging him to move faster. no matter how many times you’d already slept together, he could never get enough of you - you made him feel like a teenager again, like he was constantly insatiable and hungry for you. judging from the look in your eyes, you seemed to feel the same way.

choso angled his cock against your entrance before sinking in, moaning in unison with you. he grasped your hands, pinning them against the pillows as you reached out, trying to touch him. you sobbed in disappointment, just wanting to feel him but choso was having none of it. the complaint was quickly forgotten when he started thrusting, the sound of his hips smacking against yours filling the room. he was diligent, hitting that spot inside you over and over again, enjoying how your legs that were wrapped around his waist were trembling. you were drowning, drowning in him, in the pleasure he so graciously provided you. choso painted your chest with marks, placing them dangerously close to where they would be peeking out underneath clothes. he knew you didn’t want anyone to see them but fuck, he wanted people to keep their hands away from you, wanted them to know that you were his.

you sung his praises, hips quickly bucking against his as he buries himself in you to the hilt. he filled you up so well, always dragging against your walls so deliciously. almost feral, choso fucked you harder, putting all his frustrations and emotions into the strength of his thrusts. it left you feeling breathless, clenching around him hard as you climbed higher and higher. never had choso fucked you like this before, like he was trying to prove something - you sobbed, tears springing forth from the intensity. it felt good, so good and you wanted to cum so bad, wanted to release. the pleasant warmth was spreading throughout your body, almost unbearably hot as you neared your climax. it erupted within you explosively, leaving you writhing in a babbling, incoherent mess. for many moments, your orgasm wrecked through you, making you see white and stars. in your euphoria, you didn’t notice how choso had cummed with you, whispering sweet praises in your ear as he rode you through your high. you didn’t notice how he disappeared, returning with a wet towel as per usual, how he kisses away the tears at the corner of your eyes. through your hazy mind, you could tell that he wrapped the blanket around you before disappearing again.

it took you a while to return back to your senses, marvelling about the sex you just had. what had possessed choso in that moment? could it be because you’d offered to suck him off? or was he so pent up the entire day? the click of the door made you lift your head towards the source of the sound, cooing when you saw choso padding towards you. he yawned quietly, crawling under the blanket and wrapping his arms around you. "exhausted?" you questioned him, nuzzling into him.

"mhmm, i feel like i could sleep in until noon tomorrow," as usual, he ran his fingers along your spine, drawing shapes on your back. sometimes you thought you could feel him spelling something out on your skin but the touches were always so fleeting that it was impossible for you to make it out. whatever it was, he must've been too wary or scared to share it with you. you were reminded of your earlier conversation - choso still hadn't said anything so you wanted to bring it up, not wanting any issues to arise between you.

"choso? do you want to talk about what was wrong earlier? i know you said you wanted to think about it, but i was wondering…"

choso interrupted you. "are you going to go on a date with the guy that your mum mentioned this morning?"

you shot him a bewildered look. so he had been thinking about it. you hesitated, not sure what to tell him. should you be upfront and tell him how you feel? or give him a mild version, so he didn't feel cornered by you?

"i'm… i'm not sure yet. the thought of going on a date with someone else is kind of daunting but i think i'll do it just so my mum's happy."

"i see." uncomfortable silence seeped between the two of you. you could tell that choso was irritated, the frown on his face clearly indicating it. and yet, he didn't elaborate, leaving you to figure out what he meant by that. not daring to move, you stayed still, waiting for him to continue. choso sighed, placing his forehead against yours. "i think this is selfish of me but i can't stand the thought of seeing you with someone else. i wish… i wish it was only me that you looked at."

"you don't want me to go on a date with him?"

"yeah. i- i can't tell you why that is. it's selfish and dumb, hence why i didn't want to tell you. and it's not something that you should worry about. i'm just your escort after all, there's nothing more between us."

his words stung. even though it was the truth, the words still stung, driving a knife right into your heart. it was the very thing that nobara and maki had warned you about. but here you were, heart breaking in a million pieces. perhaps it was the fact that choso didn't tell you the reason, didn't seem to trust you with it, that made you recoil immediately. the walls around your heart were immediately put back into place, safeguarding you from any further harm. he wasn’t obligated to tell you anything and you knew that - there was probably also another reason why he felt that way. any further digging would probably make him recoil as well, it wouldn’t do you any good. whatever was growing between you, it had to stop now. choso simply saw you as a client, probably had been this entire time. again, you were reminded of the fact that he might have been acting this entire time, none of the affection he showed you ever being real.

“i- yeah… i guess,” you replied dejectedly, looking away from him. “i’ll figure it out with him, don’t worry. i’ll just keep my mum happy with it, there’s nothing more to it.”

choso bit his lip, refraining from replying to it any further. you already knew more than you were ever supposed to, he should have never let it slip that he didn’t like seeing you with other potential love interests. it pained him to keep this hidden, keep it a secret from you - but the less you knew, the better. he couldn’t imagine you being okay with being in a relationship with him while he was still an escort, nor did he think that your parents would be thrilled about it. from what you’d revealed to him, he could tell that they treasured you and wanted to minimize any possible harm as much as possible. and that included hand-picking a suitable partner for you. he might never be what your parents envisioned for you and he might never become your love interest so every session that you booked was a blessing to him.

sighing, he placed one last kiss on your cheek before wishing you a good night. but even when he closed his eyes and tried to sleep, he was wide awake, not being able to stop the onslaught of thoughts.

weeks passed without you ever contacting choso again. your resolve would have never been this strong, hadn’t nobara intervened. while you were moping and still feeling restless, helpless even, she made sure to delete his number and made you take care of the bills before cutting off contact entirely. normally, she would have commented on it - but seeing how you were struggling through your first heartbreak, she decided to let it be. and because maki wouldn’t have hesitated to have her head if you’d ever snitched. maki had encouraged you to take your mind off things, dragging you along to some of the sports classes she attended. it did lift your mood ever so slightly, much to your surprise, it was more fun that you’d originally anticipated. maki attended so many different classes that seemed so intense that you were scared to join at first. in between the classes, you spent more time with your friends. gradually you opened up to them, explaining them the entire issue with choso and how you had struggled to let go. you told them one by one, until it was finally time to let megumi know.

out of everyone, megumi scared you the most - not because he was intimidating or violent but because you knew how he would react. he’d most definitely be upset about it because he was protective over his friends, not wanting them to be harmed in any way. you’d pleaded that at least nobara should tag along to knock some sense into him, should he snap - but megumi’s reaction surprised you. when you finished your story, he was awfully quiet. you assumed he was boiling in anger, reaching out to appease him but he was frowning, making a contemplative face. “uh listen, i think that choso’s yuuji’s brother.”

“he’s what?” nobara’s eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. megumi had recently started going out with someone that he’d met during work and though he hadn’t introduced you to said person yet, you did know that his name was yuuji.

“yuuji’s brother. i haven’t met him yet but he’s been complaining about his brother for weeks now,” megumi explained, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. “choso’s an escort, right? it has to be yuuji’s brother. i’ve stayed over at yuuji’s place a couple of times… yuuji was venting, asking me about advice on how to get his brother out of a rut. apparently, choso’s been affected by this uh… somewhat breakup as well. yuuji’s suggested to him that he should reach out to you to talk but he said something about his work and your parents...”

“huh. what an interesting coincidence…” nobara mumbled but narrowed her eyes at you. “but you’re not going back to him, right?”

all the blood in your body froze. why had choso brought up your parents? they had never been a part of your relationship, you had only told him how overprotective they were and how they liked choosing your partners and friends for you. could it be?

“no, i don’t think so. i’m… very conflicted about our feelings to each other. it was stupid to give into my feelings for him in the first place. i hired someone to act as my fake boyfriend, someone who does this for a living. i think they know better than to catch feelings for their clients,” you sighed frustrated, shaking your head. there was no way in hell this situation could ever turn back around, even if you now knew that choso had also been affected. and still, he never reached out to me, you thought bitterly.

“i think you should talk it out though, if he does reach out to you,” megumi chimed in, awkwardly patting your shoulder in an attempt to comfort you. “from what yuuji’s told me, it does seem like his feelings are genuine. he didn’t outright push you away, right? who knows what could happen?”

in the end, you couldn’t help but confess to your parents. secrets were bound to be revealed one way or another and you figured it was better you opened up before they found out from someone else. the uncomfortable silence that spread through your apartment created a gloomy atmosphere; the tension was thick and palpable, making you shuffle in your seat in unease. your father hadn’t uttered any word while your mother had completely lost it, not understanding why you hadn’t instead chosen one of the boys she’d always introduced you to.

“all this time you were seeing this boy? and not once did you let us know. i could have asked my friend if they knew someone, their sons are so nice-”

“mum, i already told you i wanted to find someone on my own without having my options being presented to me on a silver plate. and you’re always so disappointed when i end up rejecting them after going through all of the hassle,” you interrupted her, giving her a defiant look. it wasn’t often that you opposed your parents like this but you felt like it was needed - your mother didn’t understand you, nor did she try. you were an adult, for fuck’s sake. you were very much capable of making your own decisions and mistakes to learn from.

“and yet you went to hire an escort! why didn’t you go and meet some of your classmates? i don’t understand why you went such lengths and then even ended up falling in love with them! how would you even pursue a relationship with them?” your mother seethed at you, knuckles blanching from how hard she was gripping her handbag. your father placed a hand on hers, whispering some soothing words in her ear.

“darling, i think y/n knows well that she’s made a mistake and is hurting from it. we don’t need to add to the stress, do we?” he assured her, then looking at you. “y/n, you know that i’m disappointed in you as well. but i don’t blame you for it, i think it’s partly my fault that you felt the need to hire an escort just to… gain some experience. i did take away all your possibilities of a relationship after all…”

“don’t encourage her! this problem won’t just be solved by you spoiling her again, do you know what kind of consequences it could h-”

a loud knock interrupted your mother’s rambling. you were confused - you didn’t expect anyone else for today. it was too late for someone to bring packages. who could it be? you excused yourself, padding towards the door to see who it was. you swore that you briefly suffered from a heart attack when the door swung open to reveal choso. he stared at you equally as stunned, seemingly not having expected you to open and greet him. “w- what are you doing here?” you asked, hating how shaky your voice sounded. how your heart soared, having missed his presence around you. the feelings had never been properly buried, only hidden by a thin layer of pretense that was now quickly being washed away.

“i’m sorry for just turning up unannounced… i was hoping- hoping to be able to talk to you for a bit? i wanted to explain myself,” choso replied, unaware of the two persons in your apartment that were straining their necks to be able to get a look at him.

you groaned. why now? the timing was just too comical, fate must really hate you. “i’m sorry, my parents are here right now. maybe, another t-”

“aha, so this is the boy my daughter has been sleeping with,” your mother appeared behind you, snarling at choso maliciously. panicking, your father had followed her quickly, holding her back by her arm. “you have some nerve appearing here as if nothing happened, what is it that you-”

“darling.” your father cleared his voice, shooting daggers at her. “there’s no need to be rude.”

swiftly, he introduced himself and your mother to choso, politely shaking his hand. choso remained calm, as usual, and introduced himself as well. if he was shocked by the entire ordeal, he sure didn’t show it. his face remained a perfect poker face, no emotions seeping through. “i wanted to talk to your daughter, ma’am. i assume she’s told you about our relationship and how we broke apart. there is no ulterior motive here, i just wanted to explain myself and talk it out.”

“that’s-!”

your father interrupted your mother again, not giving her another opportunity to spit venom at choso. “i think that is a good idea. though she has not opened up about everything, i can tell that she is hurting as much as you are. i believe a discussion would be very productive. but what is your intention? what are you going to do once you’ve explained yourself?”

suddenly, you felt like you were forgotten or invisible in the entire discussion. were they ignoring you? you were standing right there and yet no one was addressing you. you huffed, trying to pull their focus back on you. “nothing’s gonna happen, dad. there was nothing for us to work with and there won’t be.”

choso felt like he’d been slapped. he didn’t know what to make of your reaction but he came here for one reason only: to give you the closure that you deserved and he wasn’t going to leave until he accomplished just that. “i intend to apologize to her. judging from your wife’s reaction, you don’t seem to like me very much. i can’t imagine you would ever accept me, i know i don’t live up to your standards. i don’t deserve your daughter, she deserves so much more than what i can offer. and i’m aware of it. but if she’s willing to have me, i’ll try my very best to live up to your standards, to prove myself to you. i just want to be with her and make her happy. i’m in love with her and that’s what i intended to tell her.”

your heart stopped at his confession. all this time, choso loved you? megumi had been right all along. choso returned your feelings and he was here, so close and yet so far. dread filled you as you realized your parents could possibly drive him away, make him disappear from your life with just a snap of their fingers. you cherished choso more than you were aware of, the adoration running deep in your veins even when you were trying to reject him.

“i see. that’s reason enough for me. we’ve already let her have a piece of our mind, i don’t think she needs more telling off. my little girl has grown so much and it’s time to let her make her own decisions, growing and mistakes,” your father shot your mother a look. she’d calmed down, choso’s explanation seemingly having brought her back to her senses. she looked away, not wanting to look him in the eyes. “we’ll let you deal with this. but know that if she does take you back, i won’t go easy on you, alright? the bars are high and i don’t intend to lower them just because you love her. prove to me, that you’re worthy of her.”

“i will,” choso sounded so sure and confident that it made your father grin - you sure had found someone who took great care of you and wasn’t afraid to stand tall in front of your father. and that he liked, someone who wasn’t scared to back down from a challenge, someone who would be the perfect partner for you. as your parents said goodbye and left, he gave choso a pat on the shoulder before exiting the apartment, leaving the two of you to your own devices.

you didn’t know what to say, how to start. standing in the hallway was awkward but you couldn’t move just yet, instead wanting to hear what he had to say first. “you love me?” you croaked, your voice failing you. now that your parents were gone, you could freely show your emotions, not being able to hold the tears back any longer. choso panicked, fussing over you as you started to cry. furiously, you wiped the tears away with the sleeves of your sweater.

“i do. i uhm wish i had found a better way to tell you this. i figured that you probably thought that everything we did was simply a facade but i promise you that it was all real. i don’t know when exactly but i started falling for you along the way and it was hard… to remind myself that you were a client and i was just there to provide the service to you, you know? i had no right to get mad at you if you decided to go and see other people. and i wasn’t sure of your feelings for me, it was…” choso trailed off, struggling to find the right word but you knew what he meant and nodded, signaling him to continue. “i just didn’t want to tie you to me when you… when you might not like me back or even want to be with an escort.”

you sniffled quietly, wrapping your arms around him immediately, with such a speed that it almost knocked the air out of his lungs. confused, choso wrapped his arms around you, tucking your head under his chin and rubbing your back soothingly. he was relieved that you didn’t push him away at least and let him explain everything in one go. he felt more at ease now and was at peace with the decision to immediately leave and never butt in your life again in case you rejected him.

“all this time, i also loved you,” you mumbled, an upset frown on your face. “i- i just kept thinking that you’d never return my feelings and that you were just playing boyfriend because i hired you to do so and-”

you hiccuped, another sob tearing from your throat.

“when you told me not to go on that date and immediately followed it with you only being my escort and nothing more, it hurt me so much and i know it was stupid and childish of me to react in such a way but… i was just spiraling, i love you so much and didn’t know where to place the anxieties and negative feelings.”

choso shushed you quietly when your sobs grew more frequent and you let him pick you up, clinging onto him as he walked over to the couch and sat on it with you on his lap. “shh, you’re okay, we’re okay,” he mumbled against the crown of your head, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “i’m sorry i hurt you so much, i was not aware that you already liked me back then and that my words would have such an effect on you.”

over and over, choso apologized quietly until you calmed down, slumping against his chest. you stayed silent, trying to piece your thoughts and feelings back together so as to present him with a coherent and logical question. your mind was in shambles and you hoped that choso would at least get what you were hinting at. “so w- what do we do now? where do we- we go from here?”

“as i’ve already told your dad… if you’ll have me, i’ll make it up to you, all the hurt that i’ve caused you. i love you, so much. i want to be your boyfriend, and this time officially.”

“i like the sound of it,” you mumbled, tilting your head back to look at him. “will you be my boyfriend?”

“it would be an honour, princess.”

with a kiss, choso sealed the deal, easily catapulting you back on cloud nine. who would have thought that the escort you’d hired to be your fake boyfriend would turn out to be the prince charming you had always hoped for, surpassing even your wildest dreams and expectations. choso was everything you wanted and more - he was the person you wanted to wake up to every morning, the person you wanted to come home to. he was the person with whom you wanted to spend your life with, the person that loved you so unconditionally and never expected anything in return. you were lucky that he chose you, that he loved you back. out of all the persons in the universe, it was him.

he was perfect and he was yours.

p.s.: if you've made it until the end: thank you so much for reading!

[elysianslove]

when the stars align; oikawa tōru

requested by anon; ❝ hi bb :) can I request an Oikawa and reader story where they’re two petty/sarcastic best friends. Like they just have that understanding that their love is shown through petty comments or bickering lol but n e ways, the reader gets approached by a guy she doesn’t really like but isn’t thinking and says she’s seeing Oikawa and now they have to act like a couple but all they end up doing is bickering and Oikawa complaining. I hope that makes sense lol thxx <3 ❞

pairing; oikawa tōru x reader 

warnings; it’s the fake dating trope with oikawa tōru. that is a warning in itself

note; i screamed when i found this in my inbox this trope has a special place in my heart and the fact that oikawa was requested??? pls don’t let this flop :(

━ you’re not sure why you said it. you rack your mind for an excuse: you’ve known him too long, you spend majority of your time with him, you had just been texting him a moment earlier — that must’ve been why you’d sprouted that ridiculous excuse to rid yourself of spewing out a futile, useless rejection. there’s an array of mixed emotions on you as you watch the boy before you shrivel in disappointment, sighing in frustration.

“i’m sorry, i’m dating oikawa right now, actually,” you had said, like the liar the same boy you refer to has coerced you into becoming to fuel your endless sneaking out.

the guy before you, honestly nameless due to both your carelessness towards him and your uncomfortableness around him, shoves his hands into his pockets cooly, attempting to shrug it off. “well, you know where to find me in case it doesn’t work out,” he jokes, and you have to fight off the urge to cringe directly in his face at his words.

instead, you lightly smile, more similar to a grimace, and nod politely, before turning and heading in the complete opposite direction, despite the other way having been your initial route. your shaky hands fumble for your phone, and you pull it out, unlocking it and tapping on the messages app.

i did something stupid, you type out, and you’re unsure whether you’re grateful or thrown off by how quick oikawa responds.

not surprising. what did u do

the familiarity of his tone only calms you slightly, and before you can talk yourself out of it, already having thrown yourself too deep when you’d thought up the lie, you explain the situation briefly. instead of a text message response, his caller id flashes across your screen, and your breath hitches. regret begins flooding you, and carefully, you slide to answer.

“i don’t want to hold your hand!” you complain, smacking at his palm when it reaches for yours.

oikawa sighs amusingly, grabbing your wrist anyways and linking your fingers together. against all odds, and to your disappointment, you shiver at the feel of his hand in yours. it’s considerably larger, and despite the fact that this is farthest from the first time you’ve gripped his hand, your insides twist. his fingers are slender, and his palm and the pads of his fingers are soft. for all the years you’ve known oikawa, his hands constantly run cold, and you’ve hated it for multiple reasons. one being the way it gave him an ego boost of ‘cold hands only mean i have a warm heart.’ the second being his infuriating actions of constantly pressing his palms to your skin, specifically the back of your neck. but most importantly, it signifies just how little oikawa tends to care for himself at times, the way his hands shake when it gets too cold, when the world grows too small, the tips of his fingers a bruised blue and purple. and you hate it. even more so, you hate how much you hate it.

despite all this, his hand feels — nice in yours; it’s a comfortable contrast to your own warm hand. still, your frown remains on your face as you see the school gates appear before two of you, never daring to reveal any of your thoughts to him.

“if you didn’t want to hold my hand, you would’ve thought up a better lie,” oikawa argues, and you turn your head to glare at him. he diffuses it easily when his thumb brushes against the back of your hand, your words faltering momentarily. “could’ve had anyone! iwa, mattsun, makki— i know they woulda loved to do this with you.”

“you’re insufferable,” you huff, but your cheeks are painting red, visibly too. he’s right, you realize. he’s terribly right.

“but you still chose me,” he teases.

your hand in his twists until you’re bending his wrist at an awkward, painful angle, until he’s pinching at your arm to force you away. he’s right, but that doesn’t make it mean anything.

by now, you’ve spent more time glaring at oikawa threateningly and in warning than you have your entire friendship with him, and it’s honestly starting to give you a headache. after admitting your situation to the three other third years, and giving them maximum fifteen minutes to laugh until they ran out of breath, iwaizumi included, spend the next twenty minutes huddled up next to oikawa, your chair attached to his.

the guy, who had been persistent enough in asking you out that you’d resorted to this, decided to spend his lunch break in the same area as the five of you, leaving you unable to push away and bicker with oikawa the same way you would any other day. you pick at your food as you avoid his gaze, oikawa’s arm around your shoulder heavy, leaving a trail of sparks up your spine and along your arms. it makes you want to scream, loudly too.

makki and mattsun have resorted to making fun of the guy, whispering between themselves, but it’s still awfully loud enough that there’s no possible way he can’t hear. iwaizumi and oikawa have their attention on each other, discussing some upcoming practice match in the weekend.

and all you’re left with are your thoughts, your nagging, unbearable thoughts, about how pretty oikawa’s hand looks as it hangs by your shoulder, brushing against your arm with every small shift of his body. with shameful, red cheeks, you shut your eyes in frustration, and allow the regret to boil and build in your stomach.

the weeks pass steadily. outside of school, your relationship with oikawa remains unchanged, and although he’s just as touchy as he is with you with an audience, the source of affection continues to be — simply friendship. and whenever you catch any disappointment building because of that, you pinch yourself in reminder than none of it is real. the way he always has an arm around you, the way he fumbles with your fingers, the way he ties your hair back for you while you work on an essay during your break, the way he kisses your cheek, a show of respect for your boundaries, but as a way to reinforce that you’re his in front of anyone, or the way he lets you lift one leg over his own, just because.

and you’re left wondering that if it were real, would it be the same?

he sits before you now, cross legged on your bed, back straightened and mouth stuffed with popcorn, completely engrossed in the movie before him with his eyes wide open. the three other boys are spread across the room: makki laying on his stomach, chin perched on his hands by the edge of the bed, while mattsun and iwaizumi share the couch, drinks in their hands, all three just as enamored by the movie as oikawa. 

you had always been aware of just how pretty he is, and everyone around you has always ensured that you do. was it the way the light from the screen shone in his face, reflecting in his pretty brown eyes and shadowing some of his features? or was it the way he sat so comfortable in your bed, in nothing but sweatpants and a loose shirt because, of course, the four of them were bound to stay the night? was it the way his lips glistened with the water he gulped, or because of the way his tongue poked out to lick at the salt from the popcorn? 

or was it nothing in particular, or everything all at once?

sighing lowly, you shift and sit up, swinging your legs over the side of the bed and heading towards the bedroom door. “i’m gonna grab some water; anyone want anything?” you announce.

none of them seem to hear you, too lost in the movie, but makki turns his head to the side slightly, eyes remaining on the screen, and replies, “no thank you.” it’s all you need to leave the room.

as you walk out, oikawa eyes you, then eyes the filled up water bottles next to where you had been sitting. his heart tightens in his chest.

two months into the fake relationship you’d established with oikawa, and it begins to feel natural. it no longer feels off putting to walk hand in hand with him to school, or to greet him with a grandiose hug and a kiss on the cheek, or to wear his jersey to games and cheer for him from the stands, or to constantly have his ankle looped with yours beneath the table where, despite this all being for show, nobody can really see.

outside of your fake relationship traditions are your friendship traditions, which include, but are not limited to, him walking you home. it’s always been mostly because your mother adores him, or because he prefers the food that’s at your home as opposed to his, or because your home is on the way to his anyways, but it’s a lot closer, so he always ends up staying longer than anticipated.

either way, it’s not unusual that he walks by your side as the moon illuminates your path. it is, however, not very like him to stay quiet the entire way. you can see the roof of your home growing in size as you near it, and he’s yet to say a word to you. it both weirds you out and worries you, and before you can convince yourself you were overreacting, you pause in your step, the gravel beneath you scratching and crunching as you turn to face him.

“alright, spit it out.”

his eyes meet yours, wide and confused. “what?”

you sigh. “something’s up, and you’re either gonna tell me now or i’ll force it out of you later,” you reply.

“i’m not—”

“oikawa.”

“stop it, i’m fine—“

“tōru.”

“i can’t do this anymore.”

your heart stills, and almost as if in understanding, in pity, so does the world around you. the wind no longer howls in agony, respecting your need for silence as the trees around you look on curiously. your brain processes a little slower than your mouth, and you’re asking him, “what are you talking about?” before you could think.

his gaze falls from yours again, and he takes a step back. “i can’t be with you anymore. or — fake being with you anymore,” he admits to you.

you’re not sure why, but you had imagined this scenario to be a lot less earth shattering than it is. maybe you’d grown to like faking it, because it slowly started to become the closest you could get to experiencing it realistically. you refuse to speak, and it isn’t because you’re angry at him. it’s because you genuinely are lost for words. it’s not even a real break up, but it still hurts just as bad, if not worse. it’s your own fault for believing that this, whatever this was, was as simple as it seemed.

“not unless— not unless i can really be with you.”

what?

“what?”

he breathes in steadily, and moves forward, closer, closer, closer to you. his hands rise to your cheeks, cupping them softly, flinching when your breath hitches. but you make no move to push him away, only stare up at him, in wonder, in confusion. he opens his mouth, preparing himself to speak. you expect a monologue, a speech, a declaration of his undying love for you, because it sounds just as dramatic as oikawa is. the moon above you holds its breath, waiting for the band to snap, for the words to spill and drown you. 

but then he kisses you. 

his hands urge you up and he meets you halfway, pressing his lips to yours. they’re soft, and he tastes like cherry, and it’s probably your chapstick if you were being honest with yourself. his mouth moves languidly against yours, as if he’s trying to drag out every moment, as if he wants to purposefully slow down time, begging and pleading for the world around him to stop. the kiss is sweet, gentle, and somehow, kissing him is exactly the way you’d imagined it would. it’s breathtaking, and dizzying, and overwhelming, and needy and it’s beautiful. 

when he pulls back, he doesn’t let go of you. his hands remain cupping your jaw, his mouth hovering over yours. his thumb brushes along your cheek momentarily as he gazes at you, admiring you, as if memorizing every inch and every detail of your features. 

“tōru, you idiot,” you sigh. the insult isn’t foreign to him, not even on your tongue, but he still looks taken aback, and even more so when you reach up and close the distance between you again. the world lives again, the moon celebrating within the clouds, the wind twisting in your hair, whispering and whistling cheerfully by your ear as the trees dance.

 it all comes together, and the stars finally align. 

end note; i’m so happy with this!!! i hope everyone enjoyed reading this as much as i loved writing it!!! <3

[ground-riot-jack]

doesn’t equal forever | r. tanaka | part 1

bestfriend!tanaka x reader

tanaka has been your bestfriend for years, but you’re determined to confess your feelings this movie night

warnings: angst, a lot of angst, cussing of course, a little bit of fluff.

You and the crazy ball of aggressive energy that you called your bestfriend, Tanaka, have been friends since middle school. You’d been sat next to each other in homeroom so it became natural to ask the other for a pencil or homework answers or to just study together. You’d grown close and decided to both attend Karsuno High School. Your first year you realized you had feelings for Ryu. He was funny, nice and he always made sure you were okay. As the time went on your feelings for Ryu only grew stronger.

The only person who knew about your feelings was your mutual friend Nishinoya. You’re not sure how but he figured it out before you did, teasing you quietly to make a move on the bald crackhead you liked.

You never tried too hard to show Tanaka your feelings for him, sticking to light flirting and usual bestfriend antics. You figured if he liked you, he’s forward enough to tell you. By your second year, you quickly realized Tanaka didn’t have feelings for you, but instead was obsessed with Kiyoko, team manager.

It began as a joke, really it did. Noya, Ryu and you would fangirl over Kiyoko any chance you got as an inside joke about her beauty. Then you slowly backed off as the boys took their job as Kiyokos personal hype man and bodyguards a little more seriously.

Today was like every other day. You were helping Noya and Ryu set up some drills in the gym, talking and gossiping about random things when the gym doors opened quickly, Kiyoko and Yachi jogging in quickly and immediately going to Coach Ukai and Takeda.

“Awe man, It looks like Kiyoko got us that practice match we’ve been looking for. What can’t she do?” Tanaka sighs dreamily while watching his older manager. His task was long forgotten and now laid on you and Noya to complete.

“Oí, have some respect for Kiyoko and yourself. Quit staring” Noya smacks Ryu on the back of his shaved head, who jumps and goes back to his task, while mumbling about a new headache.

“So, do you guys wanna come over and finally watch the season finale of-“

“VAMPIRE DIARIES” The boys shouted in unison.

“Of course y/n, we’ll meet at your place at 8. Ive gotta shower and big sis cooked dinner tonight.” Tanaka replies

“Okay, i’ll grab us some snacks and be ready at 8. if either of you aren’t there before 8:30 I’m starting the show without you.” You send a pointed look at the two boys who weren’t very good at time management.

Once practice ended, you, Noya and Ryu were getting ready to walk out when Tanakas name is called. You all stop and turn and see Kiyoko motioning him over.

“She’s calling me? She wants me!” Tanaka stutters out before sprinting full speed to where she’s standing across the gym.

“whatever, let’s just head home, get a head start in my shower and dinner.” Noya pouts, clearly jealous. You both begin the walk home, living fairly close to each other.

“I think tonight’s the night Noya.” You sigh dreamily.

“The night? Like tonight? Woah y/n, when did you get bold?”

“I just-I really really like him and i’m tired of hiding it. Plus, we’ve been flirting since we were kids. He has to have some kinda feelings for me. And if he doesn’t it’s fine, i’m a big girl and rejection is just apart of life” You huff. You look over and see Noya wiping fake tears from his eyes.

“My baby is all grown up” He fake wails into the air, causing you to shove him to the side. He gasps before jumping on you and tickling you making you beg for mercy. When you beg and his hands finally let up, he lets out a light sigh. “I’m serious y/n, i’m proud of you, plus i think he likes you too, you’ll be so cute together” Noya smiles brightly before hugging you and waving bye before heading down his street, leaving you to yourself.

8pm rolls around and You hear a knock on your front door, before you can move to open it, it flies open revealing Noya standing there in pajamas holding candy.

“Damn, do come in them bitch” You giggle at the energetic boy.

“Ryus not here yet?” Noya says, plopping down on your couch.

“Uh, no. I’ll text the group chat.” You vite your lip and pull out your phone.

“Uh he’s so lucky, Id die if Queen Kiyoko asked me to run an errand for her.” Noya sighs dramatically.

“Even if it was during your bestfriend weekly movie night?” You grumble before standing and moving to the kitchen to bust your mind.

“Don’t be upset pumpkin, Kiyoko is just like a little crush everyone, even you, has so Ryu is doing something for her. He will be here in no time, you can confess your feelings and then we can watch our absolute favorite show.” Noya follows you, smiling brightly at you.

“Yea you’re right, i’m just a little nervous. You wanna watch some youtube till Ryu gets here?” You smile back. You both head into the living room to pass time until your other bestfriend arrives.

At 8:45, you and Noya began getting a little worried. You’d called Ryu but he hasn’t answered. He wasn’t always on time, but he was never this late without contacting one of you. You went ahead and texted Ryu and couple more times just in case he fell asleep after his shower. You sat silently chewing your lip, worried about Ryu when Noyas phone dinged. He tapped the screen to reveal a text from the man of the hour.

Tanaka 🥵✨

on my way!

Noya relayed the message to you and decided to use the bathroom before Tanaka got there so you could go ahead and start the episode. While Noya was gon his phone, left on the coffee table, made another ding. You took a quick look so you could tell Noya when he came back, like you usually do.

Tanaka 🥵✨

also y/n kept blowing up my phone while I was with kiyoko, she almost cock blocked me 😭it was low key annoying

Your chest tightened, your stomach dropped, your heart broke and your breathing sped up. Ryu had never once expressed that you were ever bothering him, to your face atleast. Maybe he always texted Noya about you like this. Your eyes stung with tears that you pushed back. You re read the text until it something else crossed your mind. You’d almost cock blocked him? Does that mean-

You’re interrupted by your front door swinging open to reveal a exasperated Ryu. You stood and ran to the kitchen, claiming you needed more snacks. You heard Noya leaving the bathroom and saying hey to Ryu. Then you heard hushed yelling, but you couldn’t make out the words. You gathered food and took a deep breath before waking back out. You just had to casually ask Ryu about his night with Kiyoko, then you could admit your feelings if the time was right.

You walked in and saw Noya looking at his phone then Ryu and then you. You set the food down and got on your phone to text Noya, letting him know you saw the text. You heard his breath hitch and he looked at you with pity and confusion.

“Where’s my hug y/n?” Ryu smiles brightly, you hugged him but pulled back slightly when you realized he smelled like expensive perfume instead of his usual cologne. He took his jacket off and sat on the couch, and your heart broke more than you thought it could.

There were atleast 5 hickies on Ryus neck, and one peeking out the collar of his shirt, letting you know there were more on his chest. You looked at your lap but saw Noya kick Ryu in the shin.

“wha- oh you guys want an announcement, haha i get it. Yes okay, I slept with Kiyoko. No big deal” Ryu bragged, striking a pose as you held back a fountain of tears.

You tried to open your mouth to share a false congrats but the lump in your throat made it next to impossible to say anything without sobbing. You gripped your sweatpants tighter in an effort to calm yourself. The air in the room grew awkward as everyone sat in silence.

“Y/n? Are you okay? What’s wrong?” Ryu asks, at his question you can’t help but let the dam break, sobs racking your body as tears flowed from your face. You could do nothing but cry into your hands.

“I-i, i don’t understand. Are you okay?” Ryu moves closer but you run upstairs and slam your bedroom door shut. You can vaguely hear them talking downstairs but not clearly enough to even tell who’s speaking. Meanwhile, the boys were having a heated discussion.

“You absolute idiot! Why would you do this.” Noya gripped his hair and pulled.

“What the hell is going on?” Ryu pleads.

“I-You- You just had to fuck Kiyoko on movie night? You just messed everything up! Oh and y/n saw your text by the way! Some friend you are” Noya laughs dryly at the taller boy.

“My text...Oh shit! I didn’t mean it like that. I just- I didn’t. Kiyoko asked me to help her with something and I did and then she was flirting with me and then-“

“Y/n IS IN LOVE WITH YOU IDIOT!” Noya shoves Ryu over the couch, causing his to trip and land on his ass. “She loves you more than a friend and she was going to confess tonight, then you stroll in here almost an hour late with hickies all over you and smelling exactly like Kiyoko. You don’t think that hurts y/n, and then on top of that you called her annoying when she was worried about you. So you either need to go up there and say you like her too or you need to apologize and leave because I will not sit here while you play with her feelings.” Noya says now standing over the taller boy.

“I-, I didn’t know she liked me. I-I don’t like her like that. She’s my bestfriend Nishinoya. Of course I love her, but like you love a cousin or something.” Ryu spits out, eyes full of regret.

“Then go upstairs, apologize and let her down gently.” Noya picks Tanaka up by his collar and pushes him towards youre bedroom. Tanakas throat tight hens as he gets closer to your room. He can hear you sobbing from down the hall he’s walked a million times.

He slowly pushes open your door and see you laying in your bed, face pushed into a pillow and sobbing.

“I love him so much, Noya. And stupid gorgeous Kiyoko gets him. She wasn’t even there for everything. She wasn’t there for him like I was!” You scream into your pillow before looking up and seeing Tanaka standing in your doorway. You quickly straighten up and wipe your face while avoiding eye contact with your crush and bestfriend.

“Y/n, i’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, I didn’t know. I wouldn’t have-“

“It’s fine Tanaka, if you like her then you like her” You sigh.

“I didn’t mean to call you annoying. You know you’re my bestfriend and I love you, but not like that. I’m sorry y/n, I can’t be what you’re expecting me to be.” He sits at your desk chair.

“Then why are you here Tanaka? Here you can have all your stuff back-“ You stand, speeding into the anger stage of your grief. You quickly grab jewelry and stuffed animals you’d received from him over the years.

“Stop calling me Tanaka, and I want you to keep the stuff”

“I will continue to call you Tanaka because I clearly don’t know you as well as I thought I did. And you think I want your stuff in my room? You think I wanna roll over and be reminded that you will never feel the same way about me and that fucking Kiyoko was the one to get you in the end? I’m not doing that. You think i want your stupid hoodie that smells exactly like you in my closet? or even on me? So i can be reminded that I can never hold you this close again and that you will never be my Ryu. Is that what you want for me Tanaka? So take your shit and leave, please” You box as much of his things as you can and press the box into his chest.

“Y/n...”

“No Tanaka. It’s okay. Deep down I always knew you didn’t feel the same. The way you look at Kiyoko, I knew you’d never look at me that way. I’m just your friend right, so i have no choice but to support you.” You sniffle and open your bedroom door for Tanaka to walk out of.

“Y/n, can you just wait a second. I’ve barely got a word in,”

“If you’re not going to tell me you love me, then you need to go because honestly dude, it’s hurt so fucking bad just looking at you.” You bite your lip and keep your eyes trained on the floor. You dared to sneak a glance at Ryu but what you saw caused ur heart to clench. His eyes were wide and glossy, his hands were lightly shaking. When he was like this, your normal reaction was to hold him and tell him everything’s gonna be okay, but now you couldn’t. You kept your hands to yourself and you waited as he walked out of your room.

“I’m sorry y/n. I am” He sighs before leaving your house completely.

Authors note: PHEw!!! i actually cried writing this so i’m sorry, i hope you liked it. I love tanaka so much and i love kiyoko but i saw the opportunity and i decided to hurt my own feelings :)))

[angsty-nerd]

Fictober #3

I genuinely can’t believe I finished this. I had a hard time figuring out what to write, and I’ve literally had to write and edit the entire thing while trying to politely engage with my brothers, and also hungover. So apologies if it sucks.

#3. “Now? Now you listen to me?”

Roswell, NM Fanfiction

Rosa, Liz, and Arturo Ortecho. Gen. Hint of Echo. Post S-1

"Now? Now you listen to me?" Rosa cried, her frustration evident as she faced off with her sister.

"Well, look at where we are." Liz replied softly, with a calmness that made Rosa just want to scream even louder at her. Her sister gestured around them. It was dark in the park at the center of the town square, except for a dim light from the bulbs hanging from the gazebo.

"You've made your feelings crystal clear. And I'd rather we do this together than you going off on your own. What if Wyatt Long and his gang were to see you? He's already tried to kill both me and Papi. I don't even want to think of what he'd do if he saw you here."

Rosa looked longingly over Liz's shoulder at the lights of the Crashdown. It was the closest she had been to home yet, but the distance still felt insurmountable.

"Everything is so different now." Rosa admitted to her sister, trying to fight the tears stinging her eyes. "It's like I blinked and suddenly you're like this adult person who has her life together. My birth father is dead. My creepy secret friend turned out to have been literally possessed for our entire relationship and is actually super nice to me now. Your boyfriend is, like, a miraculous healer who brought me back from the dead. I just want one thing to feel normal. Papi… home… nothing has changed there, right?"

She was still looking past Liz to her home and almost missed her sister taking a slow step forward, her hands shaking as she reached out to embrace Rosa. Rosa buried her face in her sister's shoulder, and for the first time in her life, she let her baby sister comfort her.

When they separated, Liz pulled out her phone and looked at the time, and then glanced back to the Crashdown lights.

"It's almost 10." Liz informed her, "Papi will be closing up soon. Once Jose and Agnes take off, we can sneak in the back and no one will see you except for Papi."

"Really?" Rosa gasped. "Thank you, Liz."

"Be gentle with Papi, though. He doesn't know you're alive and he hasn't been in the best health lately. We don't want to give him a heart attack."

Rosa followed her sister to a park bench facing the restaurant, and they sat there together in the dark, watching and waiting for their time to come. Rosa leaned her head on Liz's shoulder, and Liz gently stroked her hair as they sat in silence. For a moment, even though there was a strangeness in their role reversal, Rosa just felt so happy in that moment with her big sister, waiting to go see their father.

"Tell me about something you did sometime in the past decade that made you think of me?" Rosa asked.

"Just one thing?" Liz chuckled. "You know I thought about you every single day, right? You were everywhere with me."

"So you should have plenty of stories to catch me up on. Tell me one now while we wait."

"Okay…" Liz was silent for a moment. Then, Rosa could hear the smile in her voice when she asked, "Remember the Fall Out Boy concert?"

"Of course!" Rosa laughed. "I was so proud of you that night! Alex didn't think you'd come, you know?"

"Well I showed him! But before we went, you dressed me up to make me look older, you know, for the fake ID."

"You were so uncomfortable…"

"I was." Liz confirmed. "But on my 21st birthday, I was getting dressed up to go out to my first night on the town, legally. It was 2012, and Imagine Dragons were playing that night at a club nearby."

"Who!?!"

"Dios mìo, so much to get you caught up on. What, did Kyle only play Taylor Swift for you?"

"There was a lot of pop princesses."

"I will have to fix that." Liz shook her head. "Anyway, that night I got dressed up in exactly the same style as you made me dress for the Fall Out Boy concert. An homage to my older sister, who still hasn't even turned 21. And I went to the concert and I danced my ass off, hooked up with a hot guy, and at the end of the night I felt so damn confident that I mirrored the look the next day...and the next. And, voila! Modern Liz Ortecho was born from the ashes of a fake ID and a Fall Out Boy concert, all thanks to you."

A distant tinkle caught their attention and they turned to see the lights shutting off on the Crashdown Cafe, as the last employees headed out for the night.

"Let's go." Liz announced, pulling Rosa to her feet.

They crossed the street and silently made their way to the back of the restaurant. Liz pulled a set of keys from her pocket, unlocking the door to let them both in. The cafe was dark, but the stairway lights were on. Liz led Rosa upstairs to the apartment they grew up in.

"Papi?" Liz called softly as she opened the front door, poking her head inside. Rosa stayed behind her, waiting nervously, as she heard his familiar voice greet her happily.

"I know, I'm sorry, Papi. Things have been really crazy. You wouldn't even believe me if I tried to explain. I've been staying at Max's house. But I'm here now. And I have a surprise for you. A really, really unexpected surprise. You may want to sit down for this."

Liz turned back to meet her eyes. "You ready?" Rosa nodded once, firmly, and then Liz pushed open the door and led Rosa inside.

"Hi Papi."

His face went pale, and he quickly jumped to his feet.

"Dios me protege!"

"Please, don't be afraid. It's really me."

"No." He insisted. "Impossible. Mi hija is long dead."

"It's her, Papi," Liz confirmed. "It's Rosa."

Rosa reached a hand out to her father. He trembled, as he allowed her to grasp onto him. "Oh!" He cried out as the tears started pouring down his face.

Rosa threw her arms around him, tightly hugging him, and he clung to her as he cried. Soon Liz slipped into the group hug, and the Ortecho family stood there, in their home, hugging and crying.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Once they had calmed down from the initial emotional outburst, they settled down to talk. Rosa expected that Liz would take the lead, so she was surprised when Liz posed the first question to her.

"So how does home feel, Rosa?"

"Perfect." Rosa admitted, as she looked around the room. "It's just how I remember it."

"And Papi?" Liz pressed.

Rosa smiled as she looked at her father. "A little older, but still my Papi. Definitely feels the closest to the person I remember out of everyone I've seen."

"Everyone? Tell me what's going on, Rosa. How can you be here? Where have you been?"

"Papi… everything you've believed has been both true...and a lie." Liz awkwardly told him. "I know that sounds crazy, but it's true, Rosa has been dead for 10 years. You have not been mourning in vain.

"But Rosa didn't die in a car crash. She wasn't driving and she didn't kill those girls. She was innocent and unfairly blamed for all of that. She was murdered." Liz paused and met Rosa's eyes momentarily. Rosa nodded for her to continue.

"Papi, this is going to sound crazy but it is completely true. Rosa was murdered by an alien. A survivor of the 1947 crash who was obsessed with her."

"When I rejected him, he got angry and killed me." Rosa interjected quietly, shivering as she remembered his emotionless look in Isobel Evans' eyes.

Liz pushed on with the story before their father could react. "The aliens, they have these powers. They can do impossible things that we can't. The alien that killed Rosa just killed her with a touch, and then he somehow stole her body and put it into this alien stasis pod to keep Rosa for himself. And then he spent a decade living among us, murdering people, and screwing with people's minds. Until we caught him. With your help, actually, Papi."

"Me? What did I do?"

"At the gala last month, you told me that Noah volunteers at Ranchero Night. All of the murders occurred at Ranchero Night. That was the final clue that pointed us to Noah as Rosa's murderer."

"Noah Bracken murdered Rosa?"

Both of the Ortecho sisters silently nodded.

"Noah Bracken is an alien?"

"Noah Bracken was an alien." Liz confirmed. "But Noah is dead now too. Another alien, a good one, killed him to keep him from hurting anyone else. And then afterwards, he found Rosa's body in Noah's stasis pod, and he used his powers to bring her back to life."

"Why would he do that?" Arturo asked. "Was he just trying to fix Noah's wrongs?"

"No." Liz murmured, tears filling her eyes, and Rosa quickly realized that her sister was not yet ready to talk about Max's sacrifice and loss. Time for big (little) sister to bail Liz out.

"He did it for Liz." Rosa explained. "Because he's in love with her and he wanted her to have me back." Rosa heard a whimper escape from her sister's throat, and she took Liz's hand, holding it to comfort her.

"And bringing me back from the dead killed him. Which is why Liz hasn't been around much lately. Between trying to help me get reacquainted with the world and trying to find a way to bring Max Evans back from the dead, she's been pretty overwhelmed."

"Oh mija," Arturo cried, opening his arms to her. Liz threw herself into Papi's arms and wept into his shoulder. "I'm so sorry, mija. He was a good man. If he can return to you, I believe he will. Stay strong."

"I love you, Papi," Liz cried. Arturo looked up and met Rosa's eyes.

"What are you doing alone over there? I want both of my girls over here."

With a grin, Rosa jumped to her feet and leaped across to her father's other side beside her sister. Again, the Ortecho family hugged each other tightly, happy to be back together for the first time in a decade.

[pinkletterday]

Strangers In The Cold - Pt 1

Pairing: Barry Allen/ Leonard Snart

Rating: Teen and Explicit

Tags: one night stand, gratutious banter, gratuitous smut, age difference, bad decisions, pre-series au

Summary: Nineteen-year-old Barry Allen is trying to drown the ghosts of his Christmas past in some (slightly illegal) alcohol when a beautiful, obnoxious stranger invades his table without so much as a by-your-leave...

Part 2 of the Coldflash vs Olivarry polyam AU

Notes: Baby's first slash story! I posted this late last year, one of the first fics I wrote after ten years. The story that planted the seed that grew into the series. It's so rough, in hindsight, and there's a lot I would change if I had written it now but I'm still mad fond of it! :)

Read on AO3

"Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day you gave it away..."

The whole point of coming to a dive bar, Barry thought sourly, was to get the fuck away from Christmas cheer. He had not accounted for the fact that even the city's seedy underbelly seemed obliged to pay lip service to tinsel, kistchy multi-colored lights, and God forbid, Wham!

He fatalistically contemplated the somewhat suspect contents of his glass, then took another sip and grimaced. It did not taste any better now than it had when he had sat down with it.

"You know, if you're out to drown your sorrows, a finger of whiskey isn't going to do much even if you faceplant in it."

The voice was entirely too unfamiliar to be taking such a familiar tone with him and Barry looked up from his glass in irritation to tell him so, but then...wow.

Six feet, buzz cut black hair, ice blue eyes and a face carved by Michaelangelo. Jesus. Barry hadn't discovered he was bi until last year, but he realized he had definitely found his type in men.

Not that he looked remotely like...him. Except for the build and the beauty. This man was much older for one, clearly in his thirties. Even his eyes were blue like flint, not blue like...anyway.

The stranger was smirking now and Barry also realized that he was gaping like a fish. He quickly closed his mouth in embarrassment and returned to his drink.

Be cool, Allen. "Who says I'm trying to drown anything?" He retorted with dignity.

"Well, you're drinking alone and your face looks like a puppy that got left at the shelter," shrugged the stranger. "But you've been sipping at an inch of whiskey for ten minutes so maybe you don't actually want to be drinking."

Okay, gorgeous or no, this guy had no business telling him what he wanted out of life. He was not a puppy but a...well...mostly grown man. With a fake ID.

"And you're my guardian angel, here to rescue me from poor life choices?" asked Barry snidely.

"Hardly," the stranger drawled, sliding onto the stool across from him. What the hell. Who said he could do that? "I just came in here for a drink to see the place was packed. And you are hogging a whole table by yourself, not even drinking, while I don't have a place to put down my beer." He accentuated his point by setting his sweating bottle down between them.

Barry sputtered in indignation and considered telling this asshole, "You're an asshole" but he was about twice his size, and the last thing he had energy for was a fight and...he really did not want to be drinking alone.

"Well that's good that you asked first," snarked Barry instead, "It would have been pretty rude if you had just insulted me and plunked yourself down."

The stranger simply smirked at him in and took a long pull of his beer. Barry's eyes involuntarily travelled to the line of his neck, those plush lips wrapped around the mouth of the bottle, the way his Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed...get it together Allen, God.

And of course the stranger had seen him looking. Barry tensed but his smirk just grew wider.

"So," he leaned forward casually so that his head was less than a foot apart from Barry's. "What's an underage boy like you doing in a place like this?"

Barry scowled. "Not underage. I'm in college."

"Old enough to vote, but I doubt you purchased that legally," the man gestured at Barry's still full glass.

Barry didn't even try to deny it. This was a college town, fake IDs were a dime a dozen and he was well aware that he had a face that was...challenged in maturity. Maybe that was why no one took him seriously about anything. Joe certainly hadn't. You need to grow up and face reality, son. Barry's morose mood returned.

"The law can be wrong." He gripped his shot glass, staring fiercely into the amber liquid.

"I'll drink to that," the stranger leaned back and saluted with his bottle. "I believe it was Dickens who said "the law is an ass'"

"It is," said Barry vehemently. Then felt a stab of guilt at the thought of Joe. "I mean, sometimes," he amended, sullenly.

"Ah. Not about to throw in with the criminal element then." His companion said sardonically.

"No," said Barry quietly, "I just think...sometimes the law doesn't take everything into account."

The man quirked an elegant brow. "Such as?"

Barry hunched his shoulders and picked at his napkin. "That things aren't always what they seem. " He continued absently, almost to himself, "legal doesn't mean right. Sometimes, doing the right thing isn't always legal."

He came back to himself and looked up self-consciously to find intent eyes on him. "I see that college has been teaching you a lot," the man said. "Although possibly not what your parents are paying your tuition for."

"Scholarship," Barry retorted. "My foster father is only paying my room and board."

"Good for you." Why did he seem to make even compliments sound sarcastic? "Academically gifted intellectual thinker of your generation. Yet still brooding into his perfectly good whiskey."

"I'm not brooding," said Barry sourly. "I'm...celebrating."

"Ah. Your Christmas parties must be very popular," the older man deadpanned. "What are we celebrating then?"

Maybe it was because Mariah Carey had just followed Wham! on the radio but Barry suddenly felt like nothing mattered anymore. He was overtaken by an impulsive recklessness. "I'm celebrating the one year anniversary of my rejection."

Because why the hell not. Bars were invented to inconvenience strangers with embarrassingly personal sob stories. Well, according to the movies, that was usually the bartender's job, but this one seemed busy with the holiday crowd.

"Mazel tov. That's certainly a long time to be moping," said the asshole, "I admire your dedication."

Barry glared at him. "She is - was the love of my life," he said sullenly "I've loved her for at least ten years."

"Right out of the womb then," snarked The Asshole, and yeah, that remark earned him the capitalization.

"Polite and hilarious," said Barry. "You are a catch."

The corner of The Asshole's mouth turned up in an almost-grin and Barry kind of hated the thrill of satisfaction that coursed through him at the sight. He had solved the age old nerd conundrum of why girls fell for jerks. Sex appeal clearly trampled over self-respect.

"What's your name, kid?"

"Sam," he lied, because Joe West hadn't raised a fool, no matter what he thought.

The Asshole snorted. "Sure you are."

Barry tilted his chin defiantly. "I don't need to ask yours. I've already given you one."

"Oh?"

"Starts with A, ends with hole." So much for not antagonizing a potentially dangerous stranger.

Asshole didn't seem antagonized. There was a definite flash of a grin, ruthlessly smothered. Shame. Barry really wanted to see the full effect, asshole or no.

Ok. Let's not go down that road, Allen. For one thing, lightning doesn't strike the same place twice. Just because an incredibly hot guy picked you up once doesn't make you a sex magnet. 

And if it did...well it hadn't ended well last time.

"So Sam" said Asshole, "Tell me about this lifelong love of yours."

No. He might be feeling like dirt and hate Iris a little right now but he wasn't giving her away to some obnoxious sneering stranger in a bar. She was too precious. He wasn't sharing what he felt for her with anyone ever again, in fact. Being destroyed once was enough.

"Nothing to tell," he shrugged with forced nonchalance, "she didn't feel the same way. Had a falling out with her Dad too. I went off to college. Christmases are awkward now."

"Getting turned down by a girl is one thing," allowed Asshole. "Managing to piss off her father is somewhat over-achieving. Didn't think you were a good influence on his little girl?"

Barry actually had tried hard not to consider what Joe may have thought about his feelings for Iris. He instead held on to the fact that whatever else, Joe loved him too. "Never told him," he shrugged again. "Her Dad's my foster father. We had a fight about my life direction."

Asshole blinked. "Let me get this straight. You're in love with your sister?"

"She's not my sister!" Barry exclaimed. He hated, hated when people referred to them as foster siblings, hated having to feel like having feelings for a girl he had loved since before his parents were taken from him was somehow dirty and wrong, hated thinking that maybe Joe and Iris herself expected him to be her brother. "You know what, why am I talking to you -" He didnt need to defend his feelings to some random jerk in a bar -

"Whoa kid, slow down." Asshole actually laid his hand on Barry's arm as he tried to get up from the table, arrested him in place. He stared at the graceful fingers wrapped lightly around his forearm. "I see I hit a nerve. I'm not judging, believe me." He seemed oddly sincere. Barry sat down.

Asshole looked at him contemplatively for long enough that Barry began to feel foolish about his outburst. When the older man finally spoke, his tone was surprisingly soft.

"When you're in the system," he eyes intent on Barry's, "it tries to pre-define your relationships with other people and impose them on you, just because you have to live with them. They tell you who your parents are supposed to be, who your siblings are, who you're supposed to turn to for help. But people don't work like that. It's all just another bunch of bullshit rules.

Barry felt like a fly caught in the stranger's intense blue gaze. His breath caught in his throat and his pulse quickened, but more than that was the odd feeling of kinship he felt with this man, who seemed to really understand what it was to be small and powerless.

"Yeah," he breathed, finally looking away. "It's all just a bunch of bullshit rules." He took swallow of whiskey for the lack of anything to do with his hands. It burned a little on the way down, and Barry was proud of not coughing.

"Glad we cleared that up," the stranger leaned back on his chair and also took another pull of his beer. Barry thought somehow that he hadn't meant to open up that much either.

"What about you?" Barry asked. It was only polite. "Why are you drinking alone?"

"Alone?" snorted Asshole. "What are you then? A dramatic bar stool?"

Barry ignored the jibe. "You came here to drink alone, though."

"Sometimes a man just needs to get away from other people before a justifiable stabbing occurs," said Asshole. "Sometimes a man does want a celebratory drink all by himself. Sometimes those reasons coincide."

Barry considered this. "So you're pissed off at people, but you're happy about it?"

Asshole actually huffed a laugh, making another thrill of victory run down Barry's spine. "More like, I pissed a lot of people off and it was a job well done."

"I can see how you'd be very good at your job," said Barry. "My career counsellor always told me to choose a field that suited both my talent and ambition." Asshole was clearly biting the inside of his cheek in amusement. "And you, Sam," he asked. "How is your ambition working out for you?"

"I had two." Get Dad out of prison. Marry Iris. "Now one seems to be off the table." There was another dull stab of pain in Barry's chest.

"The girl," Asshole nods in understanding. "Ambition should have no truck with feelings, Sam. One is to do with you. The other relies on other people. In the end, the only person you can truly trust is you."

"Well that's...cold," said Barry, taken aback.

"Perhaps I am," Asshole said without rancor. "But I'm not the one trying to find the meaning of life at the bottom of a whiskey glass here."

"Touché," Barry conceded sarcastically. "You have the soul of a poet."

"I don't believe in souls."

"Wow. I wonder what kind of people come to your Christmas parties."

An odd, sharp gash of a smile slid across Asshole's face. "The very, very bad kind."

Barry again had that feeling of being some form of small prey ensnared by something with very sharp teeth. It should have frightened him. Instead it seemed to make his blood run further south. He flushed and looked away, taking another sip of his drink.

Don't even think about it. We're not doing this again.

There was a silence that seemed somehow expectant.

We're not.

"There are ways to mend broken hearts other than with alcohol, you know," said his companion, his face unreadable. "I never went to college myself but I keep hearing that it's a place for experimentation."

Barry suddenly felt his whole body tingling. Danger, Will Robinson.

Except he was hardening in his jeans. No. Down boy. Bad penis. Very bad.

He decided to play dumb in case he was getting his wires severely crossed. "If you mean weed, it turns out I'm allergic. And yeah, that was fun finding that out. I'm not into the whole drugs and partying thing."

Asshole was still looking at him like he was an interesting science experiment. "And the other thing?"

Barry's body went awash in heat so suddenly was like being dunked in warm apple pie. Oh my God no way this is happening again. "Sex?" Asshole inclined his head for Barry to continue. "Um. I tried that. Once. This summer."

"Did you? And how was it?"

"Well it was," pretty fucking amazing, "pretty good, actually."

"Ah."

"But then he died."

Asshole looked incredulously at him and Barry started laughing almost hysterically. Yes, this was his life.

"You seem to have recovered."

"No, I mean. I only knew him for less than twelve hours." Less than twelve of the most intensely pleasurable hours of his life. "We went our separate ways. Two months later I find out he died in a boating accident. It's...I'm not actually sure how to process it."

This was an understatement. Part of the reason he had never told anyone was because he wasn't sure how to explain that he couldn't get himself off to the memory of the best and only sexual experience of his life, because every time he tried, he kept remembering that the hands and mouth that had pleasured him so intimately were now cold and dead at the bottom of the ocean.

"Jesus, kid."

"Yeah," He slumped in his seat and blew air through his cheeks, ruffling his bangs. "After a while I started to think - maybe it's me."

"What, like your dick is cursed?"

"More like my ass." What was Barry's mouth doing and when had it become detached from his brain? Not only had he just outed himself to this complete stranger, said stranger now knew more about his sexual history than anyone in his life.

Not that anyone in his life even knew he was bi or that he'd lost his virginity. Gay virginity no less. Gayginity?

His companion did not seem privy to Barry's half-hysterical musings. He simply nodded, as though filing away the fact that Barry had only ever bottomed as important information.

"You know that something happening once does not constitute a pattern, right? There are things in the world that happen regardless of your existence?"

"I'm not an idiot," Barry met the older man's amused expression with an unimpressed one. "It's just fucked up, is all."

"But you're still afraid." Asshole nodded almost sympathetically.

Barry shrugged. "I guess."

"I could help you not be afraid."

Is this really happening again?

"Oh? And how is that?"

"I think you know."

So. This is a thing that is happening again. He should have remembered that that proverb about the lightning was a scientific fallacy.

Apparently he, Barry Allen, was catnip for beautiful blue-eyed obnoxious older men who liked beer. And twinks.

"Do you usually play sex therapist with college students in bars, or is this a way of giving back to the community during the holiday season?" When in doubt, build a wall of snark.

"I don't usually go for guys your age," Asshole inclined his head in concession, "but it's hardly an act of charity. I don't think you quite know your own allure, Sam."

"I have allure now?" Apparently his pale scrawny nerd ass did have some mysterious allure for this to have happened a second time. "Is that why you've been annoyingly sarcastic at me since you sat down?"

"And here I thought we were having some quality banter. I didnt hear you objecting."

"No." This time Barry met that even gaze head on so the man couldn't mistake his meaning. "I wouldnt object."

"I sense a "but."

"The "but" was the whole conversation that came before. I'm weird, fucked up and I won't have any idea what I'm doing."

"Well, unless your former paramour did some very questionable things, you must have some idea."

Flesh slapping against flesh, the strange, painfully sweet burn, lips and teeth on his throat sparking electricity down his chest. "I know what it's supposed to be like," Barry ruthlessly stamped out the flare of arousal. "But I wouldn't know what to do in the driver's seat."

"Fortunately for you, I like to drive." The Stranger leaned forward, smooth as a cat (one could no longer call someone they might possibly be having sex with Asshole) "So what do you say?"

Barry tried to ignore the discomfort in his jeans and his hardening nipples to ponder this. "You could be a serial killer?"

"Did that concern you before as well?" the man asked drily.

It had, fleetingly. But Barry had been a very horny virgin then, ambushed by a gorgeous older boy. He had not exactly been thinking with the right head. "Touché. It's still not a good idea though."

"No it isn't," the Stranger admitted but his gaze was heated and his voice pure smoke and whiskey. "But sometimes bad ideas are the best ones."

Sparkling blue eyes. A cheesy, confident grin. "Wanna get out of here?"

Some risks were worth taking, whatever Joe thought.

"Point," said Barry, revelling in his own recklessness. "Then I guess there's just one more thing."

"Which is?"

"Don't die."

Barry had tried to make it sound glib and off-hand but had obviously failed by the way the Stranger's expression softened. It was startling how that arrogant marble face could look kind and almost vulnerable. 

And then he smiled. A genuine, small smile that made Barry's heart stutter and his bones feel liquid. This was ridiculous.

"I'll try my best. Personally I'm very much against dying, myself. It's a bad habit to get into."

"Okay." said Barry, but inside he was a tumult of emotion and he knew he didn't exactly have a poker face. Eagerness and desire warred with fear and uncertainty, but he would not back out once he had committed.

Stranger looked almost gently at him and reached out a hand to trace Barry's jawline. His fingers were long and beautiful and Barry's skin tingled where he touched him, eyelids growing heavy with want.

He realized wanted those hands touching him all over his body.

"Look at me," Barry obeyed that smoke-and-whiskey whisper as if in a dream and was caught again in the spearing blue. "I'm going to take you to my motel room at the Clarion. And then I'm going to undress you slowly and take every beautiful inch of you apart.

But I'm not going to hurt you. And we can stop any time you want. I'm not into non-consenting partners. Do you understand?"

"Sshh Barry. I'm going to take care of you." Gentle lips and strong arms around him. "You tell me and I'll stop. You're so good for me, pretty boy."

Barry wondered what the Stranger made of the sudden sadness that washed over him even as he turned his face into the warmth of the man's hand.

"Yes." He held the Stranger's gaze and brushed his lips over his thumb. "I understand."

***

The winter chill was biting even through their coats as they walked away from the glow of the bar's Christmas lights of the bar to the darkness of the parking lot. The snow that crunched underfoot seemed loud in Barry's ears, along with the pounding of his heart. He was really doing this. Again.

He was either the luckiest sonuvabitch on the planet or the stupidest.

"So, um," Barry stammered as they got in the stranger's car, "what do I call you?"

"I'm registered at the inn under Michael Lincoln."

"Is that your real name?"

"No," he snorted, buckling in.

Barry suddenly felt daring. He ran his hand over the Stranger's thigh and put his mouth by his ear. "Let me rephrase that for you," he whispered, letting want turn his voice rough. "What name do you want me to call out when you're fucking me?"

The man's eyes were dark and hot under the fan of lashes when he turned to him. He pulled Barry toward him by the nape of his neck and brought that cupid bow mouth so close to his that Barry could almost feel his lips against his own.

"Leonard," he breathed into his mouth. "Call me Len." And captured Barry's mouth in a searing kiss.

 ***

Part 2

[currentlyfangirrling]

Taxi (Sebastian Stan x Reader)

AN: In which a young girl goes to New York for the first time and accidentally gets into an already occupied Taxi.

Warnings: none

It’s my first night in New York for my friend, Sarah’s bachelorette party. My friend, Claire, and I came a day early before everyone else came. We wanted to explore New York by ourselves first prior to Sarah making the plans and controlling everything that we did for the next few days.

We made my way to the hotel and checked in. Once we got into our hotel room, I unpacked my bags and took a shower to rinse off all the traveling we had done today.

As we got ready to go out, we took a few shots before leaving the hotel room. We were both only 20, but we didn’t pay for fake IDs just so that we wouldn’t use them.

We made our way down to the lobby to grab a taxi to take us out to dinner. Getting a taxi to stop and pick us up was hard. Really hard. Almost impossible.

We eventually decided to just walk down the street to a bar for dinner instead. It was a nice bar in a way. It wasn’t too crowded but crowded enough to make causal conversation with a stranger. Claire and I liked to dare each other to talk to strangers so that we would become more confident, and it usually got us free drinks when we talked to the right guys.

After we ate and had a couple of drinks with a few people, we were ready to go clubbing. I was already drunk, unlike Claire who seemed perfectly fine. I’m such a lightweight, it’s horrible.

Claire managed to grab us a taxi to take us to the club. I stumbled my way into the taxi and shut the door.

“Where to?” The man asked. “Cielo club, please,” Claire answered.

As we walked into the club, I made my way to the bar to order another drink. Claire stopped me before I could tell the bartender what I wanted, “Is that a good idea?” I laughed at her, “I like to think it is.” I answered her.

After I finished off my drink, I ran towards the dance floor and I dragged Claire with me. Next thing I know, Claire was already grinding up against some guy.

I was starting to realize how exhausted I was from dancing and needed to take a break, so I left and made my way to the bar again. I ordered another drink and dipped on it as I checked my phone. It was half past 1 and I wasn’t even close to being tired.

I shut off my phone and made my way to the dance floor again. Claire had managed to come up to me and introduced me to her man. “This is John. He works on Wall Street!” Claire had a huge smile on her face as he was wrapping his arms around her waist. He was cute. And successful apparently considering he was dressed in nice clothing and wore a Rolex on his wrist.

“Nice to meet you! I’m (Y/N)!” I introduced myself as I continued to dance. John and Claire continued to dance with each other for a while until Claire told me that she was planning on going back to his place. I nodded at her and told her loudly that I have her on find friends so that John could hear me. I had to make sure that he knew I would know where she was at all times and he better not be some creepy psycho.

They stayed a while, but once they left so did I. When I went outside it was cold and raining. I tried to stay dry, but it was practically impossible. I managed to get myself a cab so that I could go back o the hotel to sleep.

When I went to open the door and got inside, I looked to my right to see a man sitting next to me. “Oh I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize this was taken,” I said, reaching for the door handle to get out.

The man looked at me soaking wet and shivering, “Wait, where are you headed?” He said, tapping my arm and stopping me from getting out. “The Roosevelt Hotel,” I managed to say. I was still a little drunk and was starting to become exhausted.

“That’s on my way! We can share,” he said. His voice sounded familiar in a way. I turned back to look at him when I realized that the person I was sharing my taxi with was Sebastian Stan.

I rubbed my eyes at first because I thought it was my drunk mind playing tricks on me, but it wasn’t. This was real and I was star struck. “If you want? I just assumed that you didn’t want to stand in the rain and wait on another cab,” he said, snapping me out of my trance.

“Yeah. Yeah. Thank you,” I said, smiling at him. I was shocked and confused. I probably looked like shit also. Damn it! I totally know that I look like shit. I’m standing in front of the sexiest avenger and I look like roadkill.

“It’s not problem. I’m Sebastian,” he said reaching out his hand to shake mine.

“I’m (Y/N). Nice to meet you,” I said, shaking his hand. This isn’t real.

“Nice to meet you too,” Sebastian was so polite. He then instructed the taxi driver to drop me off at my hotel. As we started to move towards my hotel, Sebastian broke the silence. “Where are you from?”

“How did you know that I’m not from here?” I asked, with a confused expression on my face.

“Well, you’re staying at a hotel so I just assumed,” he replied.

“Oh right. Duh,” I laughed. “I’m from (W/Y/F,” I answered.

“Oh interested. What brings you to New York?” He asked looking at me with wondering eyes.

“My friends bachelorette party is this weekend.” I looked back at him and smiled as he turned his body towards me to continue the conversation.

“Oh, that’s cool,” he let out a smile that showed parts of his teeth. His smile made me melt in my seat.

“Yeah,” I responded. I did not know what else to say considering I already knew who he was and didn’t need to ask him the same small talk questions that he was asking me.

“So, is this your first time in New York?”

“It is. It is a lot bigger than I imagined it would be. I guess you can say that Apple’s 3D maps don’t really give you a good idea of how tall the buildings are.”

Sebastian let out a subtle laugh and my comment, “That’s good! How long are you staying?”

“Not long. Just 4 days,” I replied, smiling at the fact that he thought I was funny.

Sebastian was silent for a moment until he said, “That’s a good amount of time to see the sights, I suppose. If you’re into all the touristy stuff.”

“I’m actually not. It’s cool, but I don’t want to pay money for something I can look at alone for free.”

Sebastian raised his eyes brows at my response, “I guess you’re right, but it’s so much better in person.”

I nodded, “I’m assuming you’re into all the touristy stuff then?” He let out a slight sigh and responded, “I would say yes, but I never have enough time to enjoy the sights.”

“Work?” I questioned, even though I already knew what his response would be.

“Yeah, I’m really busy,” he laughed.

“I suppose staring in movies and going to premieres does take up a lot of time,” I responded, looking at his with a smile on my face.

“Oh, so you recognized me. I was curious as to why you weren’t asking me questions earlier. You already know the answers,” Sebastian turned his body to face the front of the cab instead of me.

“Yeah, I didn’t know what to say anything. I just wanted to have a normal conversation with you,” I confessed.

“Really?” Sebastian looked at you with his eyebrows raised.

“Yeah, I didn’t want to make things weird between us. I mean you’re really hot and I was already probably acting weird because you’re so hot, but- Oh my god, did I just say that out loud?” I covered my hands with my mouth.

Sebastian started to laugh hysterically. His hand was over his chest while his head leaned back letting out a loud laugh. Once he stopped laughing he said, “Thank you. That actually just made my night.”

“I’m so sorry. That-that was weird. Forget I said that.” I was so embarrassed.

“Here,” the taxi driver announced.

As I got myself together about to get out of the taxi and pay for my part of the ride, Sebastian touched my arm preventing me from getting out. “Don’t worry. I’ll pay,” he smiled and winked at me.

I turned to smile back at him, “Thank you. Have a good night.”

“Have a fun trip,” Sebastian shouted as I closed the door behind me.

As I walked away and heard the taxi drive off, I then heard tires screeching to a stop. I kept walking towards to entrance and walked inside as I heard my name being shouted from outside. I thought it was just my imagination so I kept walking to the elevator and pressed the button.

The doors opened up and I stepped inside as I heard my name being called again, “(Y/N)!” Before the doors began to close, i saw Sebastian running into the building with my wallet in his hands.

I tried to stop the doors from closing, but it was too late, so I shouted him my floor number just as they shut.

When I got off the elevator, I waited for Sebastian to come upstairs. It wasn’t long until the elevator doors opened again with Sebastian waiting inside.

He walked towards me with my wallet still in his hands, “I think you forgot something.” He started to laugh as I took back my wallet. “Thanks,” I said, smiling at Sebastian who was a lot taller than I imagined him to be.

“Of course,” Sebastian said, smiling as he put his hands in his back pockets.

I started to walk away to my room until I realized that he wasn’t walking back to the elevator. I stopped and turned around to ask him a question. I cleared my throat, prepping myself for a possible rejection, “Do you want to hangout in my room? I highly doubt the cab is still downstairs.”

He pulled one hand out of his back pocket and ran his fingers threw his hair, “umm-“

I started to panic, “I mean you don’t have to. I was just curious if you wanted to.”

He laughed, “Yeah, I’d like that actually.”

[ventingblacklist]

4x4  Gaia “I thought I could make it better, that I could protect my baby. I mean, that’s my one job…to protect my child.”

Gaia is sick. Living in the woods. Calls his wife and kid and tells them to leave town, cuz he has a new target.

He takes out a mechanic so he can take his place and steal a helicopter later. 

Liz is going through some of the papers on Kirk when her laptop chirps. Kirk is calling. Kirk: Hello, Masha. I know it’s late, but I wanted to speak to you alone. Liz: Where is she?

Kirk: I never wanted you to be apart from her. Liz: Where’s my daughter?! Kirk: Right here, safe.

“If you so much as… If you hurt her…”

“I know the truth. The only reason you came for me… you think we can cure you, that our blood can…”

Kirk: Yes, the blood is what I need, but it’s not what I want. What I want is for us to be together, but that can’t happen until Reddington’s out of your life. Only you can make that happen.

“I see you’re wearing your mother’s bracelet. I’m glad.”

“I want you to know that your baby is safe. This link is open day or night any time you want to see Agnes.” Tom later discusses the link with Liz. He wants to trace it to get Agnes back. Liz is like, it wouldn’t work, he’s anticipated that.

“If he hurts her, he loses me....What does Kirk want more than anything in the world? For me to trust him… to care for him. And because it’s what he desires most, it’s the easiest way to deceive him.

“He’ll see what he wants to see… my affection. He won’t see what’s real… my deception. This link is an opportunity for me to get close to Kirk. And I can’t do anything to jeopardize that.”

Tom: Liz, I think you’re being naive. Liz: I know you think that. And I’m asking you to trust me.

I kind of agree with Liz on this one. Not just about the link tracing, but the being able to see her thing. Red called it unbelievably cruel. Keeping the kid away, but having that link open. Which, I guess. 

I don't have kids so there are some things I'm not going to get, but if I was worried for my kid's well-being, I'd rather be able to see them than not. If I can't get to them at the moment, at least I know they're okay. Drive me nuts, otherwise. Especially in the wake of blood talk. Liz is hoping to use this to get to Kirk. Not in the tracing way, but in the gaining his trust way. She wants to use it. 

Kirk isn’t happy about keeping Liz and Agnes apart, but he doesn't want Red near Agnes any more than Red wants Kirk near Agnes.

I think of parallels a lot, and Agnes might be a replay not just for Kaplan, but for Kirk. Red is not going to get his hooks in another one. He took Kirk’s daughter; he will not have his granddaughter.

Agnes is motivation for Kaplan as well. It's too late, she's already failed Liz, but she could still save Agnes. 

Kirk here, and Kaplan later, want Reddington out of the picture.

Kirk wants Liz to reject Reddington, later tries to kill Reddington. Talks on his death bed of Liz taking his fortune and getting away from Reddington.

Kirk lets it go after the whisper; lets her go when it’s confirmed beyond doubt that Liz is not his child.

Kaplan never lets it go. To the end, she's trying to get Liz to walk away. 

Liz might see this same motivation going forward into season six. Her life is a giant mess, but maybe she can clean it up for Agnes. Agnes’ father is already gone. And she’s away from her mother for a long time. But maybe Liz can stop things from deteriorating further. 

Liz meets with Red. He tells her about Gaia. 

After Liz briefs the task force, Aram grabs Samar and says sorry for not being able to talk, but they can grab lunch, and Samar is like, it's okay, I figured it out. I’m transferring.

Samar is going to be a bit snippy today as she's all hurt in general. First Liz, now Aram. Ressler grabs her after another Gaia briefing. Ressler: Aram told me you put in for a transfer. Navabi, trust me, I understand how angry you are with Keen for doing what she did…

Samar: Yes, and that is part of why I’m leaving, but it’s not just that. It… It’s this place. You never know where you stand with anyone… whether they’ll be there for you when you need them.

Ressler: If there’s anything I can do to get you to reconsider, you let me know. I’ll do it. You’re a good partner.

Samar: I wish there was. I really do.

Aw, look at them all friends now. 

Gaia takes out an energy company guy so he can take his place and sabotage a pipeline. Or something. Kaplan wakes up in hunter guy's cabin. 

Kirk gets a transfusion and some bad news from his doc. His  body is starting to reject the transfusions. Six months to live, maybe less. Odette: There is a solution. Kirk: We’ve already discussed this. Reifler: It’s unacceptable. Odette: Easy for you to say. You’re not the one that’s gonna die. Kirk: No, I am, and I agree with Sebastian.

Kirk: We’re exploring other cures. Odette: We were. Before we lost the Ribowski virus, before the U.S. government froze your assets.

Reifler: If the girl is a genetic match, and there’s no guarantee that she is, extracting stem cells from such a young child is extremely dangerous and could prove fatal.

Odette: ....We are out of time, and we are out of resources. The only way to save your life is if we put that child’s in jeopardy. Odette is clearly jealous of Kirk's fun new obsession. Doesn't give a crap about Liz or the kid. What a fun new stepmom Liz has acquired. 

She also seems to actually care about Kirk. Even though he’s clearly still in love with his dead spy wife.

Ressler and Samar run after Gaia. He gets away. But they nab a fake id he used to get into the faciliity. 

Red takes the id to Glen at a bowling alley to find out who made it. 

Glen calls in a guy. The guy gives them Gaia’s address. 

Red and Liz go out to Gaia's school bus.

"Photo of a pregnant woman. But no child. Maybe the child was taken or… or died....”

“We’re going to get her back, Lizzy.”

Gaia bursts into his ex-wife's house to tell her to get out of the state. We see that his kid is disfigured.

Tom meets with an old colleague to trace the signal and get Agnes back. Aram informs the task force that Gaia's strike on a pipeline will include a nuclear facility in its blast radius. It's gonna be bad. 

Night falls. Tom and his little troop prepare to raid the house. 

Liz is sitting in the post office working. She opens the video feed and calls Tom.

Liz: I’m looking at our little girl. It’s almost like a baby monitor, like she’s in the next room. Tom: Only she’s not. Kirk has her. Liz: I know. I asked you this morning to trust me, not to trace the link. I want you to know it means everything to me that you are okay with that. Thank you. Tom: Everything’s gonna be all right, Liz. Blow her a kiss for me.

Liz sings Agnes a lullaby while Tom and company raid the place where the servers are, but not where Kirk is.

It’s a setup. A place full of cameras so Kirk can see if she violates his trust. And she did. Or, he thinks she did. 

Kirk: I thought we had an understanding. Liz: About what? What are you talking about? Kirk: You traced this feed.

“No. No, I didn’t. There must be some mistake.”

Liz: ...Wait. That had nothing to do with me. Kirk: I’m sorry, Masha. Liz: No, I told Tom. I specifically said…

"No! Please bring her back! I’m begging you! Bring her back!”

Liz has spent like five minutes with her kid since she was born. She's frantic. Desperate to at least see her. Can't do that anymore. 

Tom and Liz both trying to get the kid back in their own way. Tom not telling her things. Liz blows up at him at the end of the episode. Perfectly natural fight, I just hate that they patch it up in like two seconds.

Liz all forgiving him, saying that if his family was the reason they were in danger... um. Actually, his family is involved too. Scottie, you may have heard of her, hired Solomon who sent you on a car chase that almost killed Agnes in utero. But Tom hasn't told you that.

Super happy couple. They never talk about anything apparently, but they really like getting married.

Red goes to see Glen. Shows him the picture of the pregnant woman they found in Gaia's bus. Glen screws with him before agreeing to help.

Hunter helps Kate sit up and feeds her. Asks if the people who did this to her are coming back. She says no and thanks him. 

The task force finds out who Gaia is. Ressler and Samar go to the helicopter place and just miss him. "I’m a dead man walking thanks to Fukushima. It poisoned my innocent unborn son into someone people look at as if he’s a monster! Now, whoever dies from this, they’ve got it coming." Fun fact: from what I can find, nobody actually died from radiation poisoning following Fukushima. People died from evacuation, displacement. The earthquake and tsunami. I'm not entirely sure how this was supposed to poison his unborn son? Apparently his helicopter was flown into an unscheduled radiation venting. How does that...? Did his wife fly into it too? Does radiation poisoning get passed on? Like, genetically? Seems unlikely. Whatever. 

Anyway, they can't scramble fighters or shut down the pipeline fast enough. But Aram hacks into the helicopter and can shut the rotor down. But he freezes. 

“If I click on this, he’ll die. I’ve killed somebody once. I can’t take another life again.” Cooper hits the key like it's no big thing. Glad they were in the office instead of Aram alone in the back of a van or something. 

Thank goodness all this happened or Gaia would have killed millions of people, probably. One good thing came out of the running/kidnapping.

Red meets with Maya (Gaia’s wife) in a diner. Needs her to contact her kid's doctor, who, incidentally, is also Kirk's doctor. 

“My name is Raymond. I’ve been looking forward to meeting you, Skyler.”

Aw. 

“They live in a delightful space somewhere between dreams and reality. They taste color, hear shapes, see sounds. We should all have such special needs.”

"There is a child. Her life hangs in the balance. I believe Skyler’s doctor could save her.”

It's interesting that they go with a special needs child's doctor, when they could have gone with an adult's doctor, to save the child, Agnes. As there's talk of doing a risky stem cell procedure on her. I think perhaps the writers left the door open to have something happen to Agnes and didn't walk through it.   Aram comes in all chipper. Samar shuts that right down. “You made the wrong call today.”

She’s not wrong.

Liz: We talked about this! We agreed!

Tom: Yeah, on how you felt. I told you I disagreed.

Liz: What you didn’t tell me was that you were gonna do something about it. Instead, you went behind my back and did exactly what I told you not to do.

Tom: ...I’m not gonna fight with you about this, Liz! I did what I thought was best! And nobody is sorrier than me that it didn’t work!

Liz: Oh, no. I know someone who’s sorrier. Our daughter… who now, because of you, is God knows where. ...She's probably in the same spot, actually. You just can't see her now. And I doubt she even notices this is happening.

Reifler is taken at the end of this ep, after his house call. He’ll tell Liz that Kirk moves Agnes around anyway to keep Reddington from finding her. 

There’s a deleted scene that fits in somewhere of Liz staring at her cellphone, willing the video link to reappear. 

Meanwhile, the evil stepmother encourages Kirk to take the risk. 

"I know you don’t want to. But you need to use the child.”

They really play up Kirk using her. And then never tell us for sure whether or not he used her. Lovely high stakes to nowhere. 

At this point, I don’t think he did. He’s still got six months or so at this juncture. Well, maybe less. But he’s fine at the moment. I don’t think he’d use Agnes until it got super desperate. And she wouldn’t be a match to him anyway, apparently.   

Red meets with Liz in his car. Tells her what it was all about, getting Skylar's doctor. “Owen Ayers and his son Skyler share a rare blood disorder. But Dr. Sebastian Reifler is one with a particularly relevant distinction. He treats both Skyler Ayers and Alexander Kirk. If we can get to his doctor, we can get to Kirk. We’re getting close, Lizzy.”

"I lied to you. You asked if Kirk had reached out, and I told you he hadn’t. That wasn’t true. He set up a link… a video feed so I could see Agnes.”

“How incredibly cruel.”

“Tom tried to trace the link, tried to find Agnes, but Kirk found out, and now, uh…”

“She’s gone.”

“I thought I could make it better, that I could protect my baby. I mean, that’s my one job… to protect my child. Make her feel safe at any cost.”

“To hold her. To tell her everything’s gonna be okay. But now because of me, because of what I’ve done, I can’t even do that.”

♪ How does this happen to us all? ♪

I include those lyrics cuz yeah. I haven't seen such a glaring parallel since Red and Liz sitting over the harbormaster's daughter. 

Red is angry at Liz at the start of Miles McGrath. He's still stand offish in Gaia, though not as much after spilling the blood news to Liz at the end of McGrath. There's still distance between them, but he can't sit there and see that pain without having a reaction.  Red snatches the doc.

Kaplan wakes up with a chain around her ankle.

[gdiblake]

True story from college about 2 girls in one night (facial) (atm)

Bear with me because this is my first time posting. I have lots of stories but i figured this group would enjoy this one, so let me know what you think. I’ve had to leave out some details for obvious reasons but this is a 100% true story that requires a good bit of context so the sexual stuff is marked with ++++++

This is a true story from when I was in college. Girl A is white, about 5’5, 102 lbs, blonde with B cups and a tight ass. She wore lots of makeup, had a southern accent, and a couple tattoos including one on her back and one on her ass. She was a year older than me. I had been hooking up with her for maybe a month at this point and we weren’t necessarily exclusive, but we were only hooking up with each other at the time. In all honesty, I liked her and hoped it would become more. She wasn’t really looking for that and would always say “we’ll prolly start dating eventually”. Well after about a month I got tired of that and started to explore other options. That’s where this story begins.

Girl B was 5’6~5’7 115 lbs with dark hair and blonde lowlights, C cups, a much fuller ass, a few freckles on her face, and she also had tattoos. Girl B and I had class together. She was very shy but she made it clear she was infatuated with me. Every once in a while we’d Snapchat (some stories of their own in that if you want more detail lol).

Eventually I decided to give girl B her shot and she was gonna come over to my place on Friday night. On Friday, I go to a local restaurant to get some drinks with friends. And guess who I bump into doing the same thing. Girl A. She begs me to come to her table so I do reluctantly. We talk, she keeps asking what we’ve got planned for the night, and makes it clear she’s looking to hangout with me. But she wants me to ask. I’ve got plans with Girl B so I’m not going to. We all get drunk. She asks me to come with her to buy alcohol cause she’s scared about using a fake ID. I go she gets her stuff and I’m sitting with her in the car. She starts rubbing my thigh asking if I want to hang out. She’s getting more desperate. I tell her “I can’t I’ve got plans with my buddies”. She leaned in to kiss me and we start to make out. She moves her hand up my thigh and puts it on my dick. After a second I pull away and say I really gotta get going back to my friends. This girl was NOT used to hearing no. And as fucked up as it may be, I kinda enjoyed rejecting her. If you don’t wanna date me then I’m not gonna fuck you. Lmao. I was a dumb fucking kid.

++++++

I went home and continued drinking with my roommates until girl B arrived. We talked a bit before going to my room and throwing on a movie. Funny story, the movie was the conjuring, a movie I’ve seen the first 20 minutes of 100 times but never finished. We started making out and almost immediately I could tell she wasn’t very experienced. Her tongue was so soft. As we got going she became less and less shy. First I took my shirt off and her jaw literally dropped. I’m pretty proud of my body. I let her feel my abs before I took her shirt and bra off. Her boobs were perky and her nipples were dark and hard. I sucked on her nipples as I began to put my hand down her pants. Soaked. I teased her with my fingers before putting one in. Super tight. Like this girl may be a virgin tight. I moved her hand to my cock and again, it was clear she didn’t have much experience. I asked her “what do u want to do?” “Whatever u want” “I want you to suck my cock” I picked her up put her on her knees and told her to take off my pants. She unbuttoned my jeans and my fully erect dick fell out to which she exclaimed without even thinking “Holy fuck it’s huge”

++++++

I’ve never considered myself huge. I’m big no doubt and very happy with my size but in complete honesty not “Holy Fuck” huge. At least not in my mind. I thought I’d share in the sense of honesty. I always cringe when people try to talk up their size on here. So full transparency, although that is verbatim what she said, I’d consider myself big but not huge.

++++++

So, yes all signs point to lack of experience. She took the tip in her mouth and tried to suck it. She had lots of enthusiasm and her mouth felt great but she had little idea what she was doing. She was gripping my dick way too hard. So I had to stop her and ask. Yep, she was a virgin. She had done oral with her 2 boyfriends in the past but she had admitted neither of them really knew what they were doing either and she had never had a dick that big. I told her not to be embarrassed and I asked if I could show her some stuff. I knew then I could not fuck this girl and take her virginity like this. Call me a sweetheart but it wouldn’t be fair to her so I decided right then not tonight. Maybe not never, but not tonight. I told her how to hold it, how to use two hands, what to lick, when to suck, pay attention to the balls, make eye contact, slap it on ur face and tongue, rub it on your boobs. She literally did whatever I said. Now she was using all that enthusiasm the right way and it was great. She said she needed a break so we were making out on the bed with me on top of her. She asked if I had a condom. I thought to myself “yea I do but we won’t need it, we’re not fucking”. But I didn’t want to say that so I just said “no” as we continued to kiss. She then said “I’m not doing anything without protection” “ok that’s fine” I replied. A moment passes and she try’s to pull me into her vagina. My tip hits the slit. She then grabs my cock and tries to put it in. No shot in hell it was fitting without a lot of work. But feeling my tip rub against it, feeling how wet she was, I almost couldn’t help myself. I wanted to fuck her. I stopped my self, pulled her down the bed, grabbed her hair and began to fuck her throat. I was about to explode. I pulled my cock and came on her Face. Looking back I still feel terrible for that. I even took a pic of her covered in my cum with my dick in her mouth.

++++++

When she was cleaning up I looked at my phone and was texting girl A. She’d sent me some pics, talked about how much she likes me and cares about me and asked to hang out promising to make it worth it. I gave in. Fucking simp. I told girl B I had to take one of my friends home cuz he was too drunk and I’d walk her to her dorm. I told girl A I also had to take my friend home to buy myself some time. I took everyone home but first chugged a 4Loko pregame and said a prayer with my friend that I pull this off. I told Girl A I need to shower once I got back to my place (try to clean up and get rid of the smell) so give me a few minutes. I get back and this bitch is literally at my door waiting.

++++++

Trying to play it as cool as I can I jump in the shower saying I stink, need to shave, whatever. Not too long after, she joins me in the shower. While we’re in there she shows me how she’s fully cleaned her ass. I had asked her before for Anal but she always said no. I eventually figured out this trend, where whenever I started to pull away or give her less attention, she’d do anything to get it back. Tonight, she was gonna let me fuck her ass. We started fucking in the shower. First from behind, then I held her up against the wall and fucked her. After we got out she pushed me back against the sink got on her knees and dropped my towel to suck my cock. Her head and fucking her was always great. She definitely knew how to handle a cock like mine. And I knew how to fuck her right and make her cum. Before leaving the bathroom I bent her over the sink and fucked her while we made eye contact in the mirror. In bed she rode me cowgirl and reverse Cowgirl, I fucked her on her side and she blew me a little more before I got on top in missionary. She dug her nails into my back and wrapped her legs around me, moaning my name “yes” “fuck me” “this pussy is yours” “your cock is so big” etc as I came in her. This was all pretty standard as we’d kinda developed a sort of a routine. (Fucking 4-5 days a week) So, per usual, we fucked a second time. This is when she let me fuck her ass. Her asshole was so tight. We were always loud when we fucked but during anal we were even louder. When we were done I pulled out and came all on her back and tattoos. She cleaned up but she couldn’t stay cuz her sister was in town staying with her and already wondering where she’d been for the past few hours (Again, more stories on that too).

At this point it’s like 3 am and I’m hammered and still horny. I’m Snapchating girl B and she tells me she wishes we could’ve done more tonight and I should come over. I tell her “only if I can cover those tits in my cum”. She says “I’ll let u do whatever you want daddy”. At this point, it’s a miracle I can get hard. I’m super drunk and have busted several times with no down time. Guardian Angel I guess lol. I go over to her place and I haven’t showered or cleaned up or anything since Girl A, at this point I don’t care. I go on and on telling girl B about how that’s the best head I’ve ever had, etc. It wasn’t. I’m just an asshole when I’m drunk. So I had her blow me again. I was rock hard thinking about how she was cleaning me up after girl A. I took a snap video of her blowing me and sent it to girl A asking “do u think she can taste ur ass and pussy? Or both of our cum?” Hindsight that was a terrible idea, for obvious reasons lmao. When she was done sucking me I came on her tits just as promised. She begged me to stay the night so I slept in her bed a couple hours before leaving early the next morning.

Like I said this is my first time sharing so let me know what y’all think or if you have any questions. I have plenty more stories to maybe share as well

submitted by /u/_LB7 [link] [comments] from Sex Stories https://ift.tt/31NxfQB

[lovingtrance]

I got dumped

On December 21st my partner of 5 years, who I lived with for 2 and a half, told me he’s no longer attracted to me and only views me as a best friend. He said there’s more in store for him than “just a safe relationship.”

While we were together I was keeping a running list of all the reasons I loved him. But for my own well-being I’ve decided to start keeping a running list of annoying and toxic things about him. I’m posting it here for your viewing pleasures:

1. I had to constantly remind a grown man he had to brush his teeth. Often times having to convince him to not skip it bc he would sometimes go days without brushing. And this was NOT due to depression. Truly. It was just laziness and a lack of urgency to practice basic hygiene.

2. He would pick his nose and wipe it on just about anything. Furniture, his clothes, his side of the bed, my side of the bed, his car seat no matter whose car, etc.

3. He’d constantly ask “are you gay” as if it was a joke.

4. In general he reveled in pushing my buttons and saying things that I found boarderline offensive.

5. Near the end especially, but in general it was like pulling teeth to get him to spend time with me doing something he didn’t have a personal investment in. If it wasn’t an activity he enjoyed he didn’t want to do it with me.

6. When I would try to spend time with him 9/10 he’d say “I’d rather play call of duty.” His call of duty playing was a daily occueance. On weeknights it was from the time he got home from work until bed. He’d stop just to spend about 30 minutes with me for the dinner I made. This was EVERY NIGHT. And on weekends it would be about 3/4 of the weekend every time.

7. A few days before NYE of 2019 (to celebrate the start of 2020) he went out with a few of his friends to drink. Apparently someone said they didn’t like my plan for NYE and another person agreed. He took offense to that and came home drunk and angry. He ranted about how much he hates them, hates our home town, and how mad he was. I tried to calm him down and he got mad I wasn’t on his side and threw a chair across the room while yelling so loud it woke his parents and sister. He then went to his bedroom and I tried to calm him and he got mad I was “taking their side” and tried to physically kick me off the bed. As if he was a toddler.

8. When I said “no you will not treat me that way. I’m not your punching bag” and called a friend to pick me up he tried every manipulation tactic in the book. First he called to apologize. Then when that didn’t work he tried to plead and promised he didn’t mean it and he wasn’t trying to hurt me. Then he turned and said it was typical that I left bc everyone leaves him and I don’t care. I’ve never cared. After that tactic didn’t work he said he was going to kill himself. All while his sister was texting me saying he was just eating chicken strips on the couch watching TV.

9. The next day he gave me the silent treatment and treated me like I was the one who hurt him and I was the problem. He was trying to give me the cold shoulder so I’d break down, beg for his forgiveness, and beg him to open up and forgive me and talk to me. This was a typical thing for him in the past. If I ever told him he hurt me or tried to put up a boundary for my own mental and physical well being he’d flip it and put up a wall so I’d have to beg him to open up and I’d end up being the one apologizing.

10. He cheated on me in 2016 with women he’d meet up with from Craigslist for casual hook ups. He then insisted we were never exclusive even though we absolutely were and had already said I love you to each other.

11. On my 22nd birthday we went out to bars together. He had a list of bars he wanted to stop at. We’re from MO and were in San Francisco. The 3rd or 4th bar had a bouncer who saw his MO ID and insisted it was fake. I was using my passport since my ID expired on my birthday. When I told the bouncer I’m also from MO and the ID is legit they gave it back but turned us away. That made him mad so we went home and then he got upset I didn’t want sex. I sort of agreed anyway but then withdrew consent. He got SO mad about that. He started screaming and shouting about how I was jerking him around and he was upset and confused. He threw his fan at the wall and broke a hole in the wall. He started pacing around the room and then I called a friend and said I was leaving for my safety. That made him even more upset and he started pacing around the hallway of his apartment building while NAKED. I convinced him to cover up but the manic episode continued and he paced in the street as well. The cops were called by a neighbor. I was mortified. But we stayed together bc I couldn’t find my ID to be able to leave that night. Then we slept it off in separate buildings and came back together the next day to talk it out. We both apologized and stayed together.

12. About a year before that he got upset I couldn’t have Skype sex with him every night even though I was a full time student working a full time job. He frame it as though he was willing to make compromises for me but I refused to do the same for him. Even though I’d already forgiven him for the Craigslist cheating caused by his “sex addiction”

13. He said he was breaking up with me bc he wanted more “intimacy” and knew that he was meant to have a relationship that had more spark basically. He made it seem like yet again I was the problem for not having enough sex with him. Despite the fact I tried to initiate sex with him many times over the last few months and we would reject me almost every time. Often times saying he would rather play call of duty.

14. When we first moved in together I did some laundry. A few days later he realized a few random things were missing. A pair of underwear or two, a shirt. He accused me of losing them by forgetting them in the apartment laundry room. I swore I didn’t but he didn’t believe me and yelled at me. I told him they’re just clothes and I’ll replace them and he still yelled. I suggested maybe he forgot them back at his parents’ house but he swore he didn’t. A few days later a package arrived from his parents containing all the “lost” clothes. I did not receive an apology until I requested one.

15. We were long distance for the first few years of our relationship. I would go to visit him every spring break and fall break (my school had fall break). Once when I went to visit we went over to his frat house for a party for st. Patrick’s day. I was having a good time getting two know two foreign students (one girl and one guy). When we walked back to his place we were sitting outside the building while he smoked a cigarette and he got mad at me and asked me why I acted the way I did at the party. I was confused bc I didn’t think I was acting differently than usual. He said by making friends with those people I was basically being obnoxious and annoying- like I was trying too hard. It broke my heart. It was like he expected me to just be a wall flower or hang on his hip the whole night. It was so unfair bc obviously I didn’t know anyone there it’s not my school. So did he just expect me not to have a good time?

16. The one other time he had me go to a party at the house I went to the bathroom on my own. I remembered where it was and told him “I’m going to the bathroom” and got up from my seat. When I came back he was being weird to me and basically implied he thought I walked away to go cheat on him?... even though I was gone less than 5 minutes and I knew no one there!

17. Once in late 2017 early 2018 one of my close friends came over to hang out and drink wine in my living room. She mentioned she’d done this app called Cake where you live stream whatever and people pay you. We decided to just sit around in our underwear and drink wine to make her some extra money. I told him about it and he freaked out. He contacted her on FB and went off on her telling her she disrespected our relationship and manipulated me. He told me I was drunk and let my friend manipulate me. I told him that’s not true at all and everything I did I did bc I wanted to and was comfortable doing so. I never crossed a line. I never even interacted with a person. We just set up a camera and barely acknowledged the comments. He was acting like I was his child or property and I didn’t have agency of my own. He also told me I cheated and I needed to admit I cheated so we could move on. As if it’s not my body and my choice who I allow to see me wearing the equivalent of a bikini. And he definitely had no right to contact my friend and scold her and shame her. He acted like I was his to control and I was a toy my friend took and misused without his permission. It was disgusting and so painful to deal with. I felt awful about myself for days.

18. He was and is such a hypocrite. He even admitted to me before the Cake incident that he once did cam stuff but quit bc he was bothered by how many men tuned in and barely any women. He was also hypocritical about spending money. He would criticize me for spending $50 on new clothes at target or wanting to spend $30 every few weeks to splurge on eating out. But then he’d spend $100s-$1000s of dollars at a time on his hobbies like gaming, bowling, his guitar, etc.

19. In April of 2020 I told him I wanted us to be more romantic. I wanted us both to be better about making an effort to show each other we had a romantic attraction to one another. He told me “you expect too much. You ask for too much.” This is the same man who 8 months later told me he was leaving me bc there was no more “spark.” I EXPLICITLY asked him to work with me to keep the spark going and he said “you ask for too much.”

20. Also in April of 2020 he got upset the recycling bin was starting to smell. Over time some of the containers had leaked the small bit of contents they had left and created a film on the bottom of the bin. He blamed me because he “always rinses containers before recycling them.” I tried to explain “yeah but that’s just because you leave them sitting on the counter to be rinsed and then never rinse them. I too am bad about not rinsing, so I just put your pile and my stuff straight in the bin.” I explained that technically yes, I recycle more items, but only because he leaves me to do it. He told me I HAD to clean the bin. I said “I’m not your servant. I’m not at your beck and call and I don’t HAVE to do anything.” That made him angry so he said “maybe I should just pour milk all over your clothes then?” Shocked I of course asked “why would you do that?” I also wondered “what clothes? The clothes I have on the drying rack next to the kitchen? Or the clothes in the closet? The ones I’m wearing?” He said “you pour milk in the recycling bin. It’s the same thing.” Like truly- what a manipulative, illogical ASSHOLE.

21. When breaking up with me he told me “I’m sure you’ve noticed I haven’t wanted to have sex with you the past few months.” I said “yes I thought it was stress from work.” Then he said “no I’m just no longer physically attracted to you.” I asked what we could do. Should we spice things up? Should we go to a sex therapist? He said there was no point. But fear not reader- it’s not that he’s gay (yes he felt the need to clarify that) it’s just that he’s not attracted me specifically. He said honestly he just wasn’t happy because there was no spark. And there was this (apparently) indescribable element that had never really had been in all 6 years. There had always been something missing that he had in other relationships. I said THERE WAS ONLY ONE OTHER RELATIONSHIP WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?! He had one other serious girlfriend before me and they were together between the ages of 15-18. Yes he’d had other flings and sexual partners obviously, but nothing that even came close to the level of commitment or sheer length of relationship we had. But sure- go ahead and compare what we have to a high school relationship and a handful of college hookups.

[thejovianmute]

A Different Way Home, Ch 1 (FMA, Roy/Ed)

Title: A Different Way Home

Author: TheJovianMute

Rating: Explicit (in later chapters, this first one's pretty mild)

Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist (any, since it's AU)

Pairing: Ed Elric/Roy Mustang

Tags: Alternate Universe, Prostitution, Hooker Roy, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Rape, Violence, PTSD, Eventual Happy Ending

Summary:  Roy's standing on a freezing street corner, his body for sale and his pride long-since-gone, when the boy in the red coat approaches him.  

Author's Notes:

A long while ago, in a brief burst of confidence, I posted my first fic.  Since then my confidence tanked, and I haven't managed to convince myself to do it again.  Then Ed and Roy Week popped up on my dash, and I remembered I'd started a RoyEd fic which would pretty much fit the bill.  So I pushed myself to finish the first chapter properly, and here I am, posting it with an hour to spare - go me!  I'm determined to keep going with this one - I'm not a fast writer, but I'll get there eventually.

This is set in a modern-day, alchemy-less Amestria.  Roy's a little more broken than the one we know, and has fallen a lot further down.  I've come across a few hooker-Ed fics but haven't yet found one with Roy on that side of the fence, so decided to flip the tables.  There's some dark stuff in later chapters, but the payoff will hopefully be worth it - hurt/comfort is pretty much my favourite thing <3

Chapter 1:

Roy shivers in the freezing night air, the chill of the bricks he's leaning against seeping through the worn cotton of his t-shirt.  He'd kill for a jacket, but he gets more attention without it; the t-shirt a size too small to show off the lines of his body.  He no longer has the definition he once did, knows he's skirting the edge between slender and 'too thin' these days, but that seems to appeal to a certain sort of customer.

Not that he's having much luck tonight. He's been standing on this frigid corner for half an hour already without a hint of interest.  Business is always slow on a Monday night, he knows, but hopefully it will pick up - not only does he need the money, but even just five or ten minutes in a heated car would give him a chance to warm up a little.  He rubs his hands together, trying to create a little heat with the friction.  It's times like this that he almost - almost - misses the desert heat.

Roy's scanning for potential marks when he catches sight of the figure in red walking his way.  He squints a little to try and make out more detail; his vision is particularly poor at night, faces little more than shadowed blurs until they get within a couple of feet and he can make out actual features.  The figure's small, though, and has what he assumes is a spill of long golden hair over one shoulder.  Roy spares a moment to wonder whether the girl knows what kind of risk she's taking, walking through this part of the city alone at night.  It's none of his business, of course - and considering where he's ended up it'd be a little hypocritical for him to be giving advice on poor life choices.  The girl slides from his thoughts quickly enough as he goes back to looking out for tricks, occasionally stamping his feet, trying to restore circulation to his icy toes.

But the figure in red stops in front of him instead of continuing on past, and - despite what is indeed a long blond ponytail - the flat chest and angled jawline he can finally make out reveal the error in his assumption: this isn't a girl at all, it's a teenaged boy.  The boy has his hands shoved into his pockets, feet planted solidly, his expression a mix of curiosity, determination and defiance as he stares at Roy intently.

"Can I help you?"  Roy asks mildly.  

The boy's eyes are a bright, almost luminescent amber beneath the sodium glow of the streetlights, matching the fall of golden hair.  It's a striking look, especially paired with the black pants and shirt, topped by the blood-red coat.

The kid continues to stare at him, and Roy is just about to let loose a sarcastic comment when the kid abruptly finds his tongue, blurting:  "How much?"  The words seem to startle the boy as much as they startle Roy, if his mortified expression is anything to go by.

Roy raises an eyebrow, and then makes a show of looking the boy up and down.  He's not the best judge of age, but he doubts this guy is older than fifteen or sixteen.  "I don't fuck kids," he says bluntly.  The boy is cute, but even if underage was his thing - which it isn't - he wouldn't risk that kind of pick-up out in the open like this.

The boy's expression darkens, his face flushing with a sudden anger, but he makes a visible attempt to rein himself in before replying.  "I'm not a kid."

Roy raises both eyebrows this time in blatant disbelief.  

The kid scowls at him.  "I'm eighteen.  I'm a goddamn university student."    

It's possible, Roy muses, looking the guy over again.  He has something of an ageless face himself, able to pass for twenty as easily as thirty - another thing that draws his clientele to him.  The kid is short, only a scant inch or two above the five foot mark, but his build is solid enough, his shoulders square.

Still, it's better to be paranoid than arrested.  "ID?"  Roy asks.  

"Seriously!?"  The kid explodes, muttering dire invectives under his breath.  "I'm being IDed by a hooker?  What the fuck is my life?"

"You're welcome to try a hooker with a more flexible moral code if you so desire," Roy says, gesturing further down the street to where he knows some of the other guys work this time of night.  There's a small group of them that band together for protection, but Roy's always been a loner.  

The boy glances in the direction Roy indicates, but quickly shakes his head. "No.  No, I want you."  His cheeks flush pink with embarrassment as he says it, but his mouth presses into a determined line, as if daring Roy to doubt his resolve.

And that is interesting.  Roy wonders what exactly it is about him that's drawn this particular kid.  He knows that his mixed-race features are a draw for some men: the raven hair and dark eyes of his mother, combined with the pale Amestrian skin of his father.  But generally it's the bigger guys that go for the Xingese look; the ones who get off on having someone smaller and lighter to manhandle and dominate.  It's not something Roy particularly enjoys, but he's not in a position to turn down anyone willing to pay for his time.

Speaking of which.  The kid is reaching into his pocket now, still scowling, pulling out his wallet and flipping it open, sliding out a small rectangle of plastic.  He holds it up for Roy to inspect with a defiant expression.  It's unexpectedly appealing, the stubborn little V between his brows, the determined jut of his jaw.  So many of the men he encounters are jaded and emotionally numb, using him to try desperately to feel something, that this kid's spirit burns magnesium-bright in comparison.

Roy looks down at the card, making out the colour and layout of a local driver's licence, but in the dim lighting he hasn't got a hope of reading the text, and he curses his deficient vision yet again.  Still, it makes little sense for the kid to show him a licence which proves him to be under-age, so odds are it backs up his claim.  It could be a fake, of course, but these days the fakes are so good he probably couldn't make out the difference even if he could see.  

"All right," Roy allows, deciding to go with it for now.  

The kid puts the card back in his wallet and shoves it back in his pocket with apparent satisfaction.  "So, how much?"  He asks, repeating his original question.

Roy is somewhat nonplussed by the kid's stubborn determination.  The guy's gorgeous and seems personable enough, if a little forthright, and Roy wonders what the hell he's doing picking up a hooker.  The kid could walk into any gay bar or club and would draw men like flies to honey -

Roy knows exactly how popular young-looking twinks are with the gay crowd.  

Still, it's not Roy's place to question the motivations of his clients, he's just here to do his job and get paid.

"Four thousand cenz for a hand, six for my mouth, ten if you want to fuck me.  I don't fuck without protection, and anything kinky costs extra."  The spiel is rote by now, and Roy rattles it off without even an internal flinch - unlike his first few days on the job, when every crude word had bruised his sense of self to the core.

The kid considers this for a moment.  "What about if I want you to, uh, fuck me?"

Roy manages to keep his expression bland despite the unexpectedness of the question.  It's not something he's been asked for before - which is fortunate, because he's not the sort who can get an erection on command.  He's not sure he could get into it enough to be able to fuck a client; he can't recall many previous tricks who have genuinely turned him on.  And it's been a long time - longer than he wants to think about - since he last had sex because he wanted to.

His first instinct is to reject the request, tell the kid that that particular activity isn't on the menu, but something makes him hesitate.  There's a long-buried part of him that's flickering to life, tentative embers glowing faintly in the darkness.  The kid is gorgeous, there's no denying that, but Roy's had good-looking customers before and looks have never been enough to jump-start his engine alone.  It's a combination of everything about this particular kid - his earnest eyes, his stubborn, determined mouth, and the bright, aggressive flare of life inside of him - that draws Roy like a moth to a flame.    

He thinks, to his surprise, that maybe it's something he could do with this kid.  With him, rather than to him.  It's a dangerous way to think - he learnt a long time ago that trust and hope in other people only ever leads to pain - and moths are all-too-often consumed by the flames they seek.  But still, that faint, tentative flicker of desire is there inside of him, and he thinks that perhaps it could be fanned into flames of genuine - and perhaps mutual - want.

"Fucking's ten thousand, either way," he says, hoping it comes out more casually than he feels.

The boy nods acknowledgement, seemingly unaware of Roy's inner turmoil.  "So, where do you, uh… usually go, to do… it?"  He asks, wincing at the awkwardness of the words.

"Car or hotel, generally," Roy answers, resisting the way his mouth wants to curl into a smile.  The kid's naivety is amusing, but Roy can't quite help finding it adorable as well.  

"Would it be all right to go to my place?"

Roy shrugs.  "If you'd prefer.  It doesn't make any difference to me."  He usually ends up in cars or hotel rooms because his clients don't want a whore sullying their their own beds - even if they don't have wives or girlfriends to hide him from.  But Roy has no issue with the idea itself - a home is likely to mean heating, and a reasonably comfortable bed.  

The kid hesitates, and then asks boldly:  "What about if I wanted you to stay all night?"

"The entire night?"  Roy raises an eyebrow, and the kid nods confirmation.  

On a slow night he makes a couple of hundred.  On a good night, he can take home a hundred thousand, although those are the nights he ends up crawling into bed at dawn, feeling scoured and hollow and used.  But to be out of the cold for the entire evening is pretty appealing; tempting enough for him to apply a discount on what he'd otherwise be tempted to charge.  

"Sixty thousand," Roy says.  "Payment up front."  

Roy wonders whether the price will be enough to scare the kid off.  He hardly looks like the sort who has hundreds to burn on hookers whenever he feels like it.  Nothing about him indicates wealth: his boots are worn and scuffed and the tears in his canvas satchel have obviously been mended by hand.  Nothing he's wearing is designer or labelled.  He looks like any other university student, with enough cash to scrape by, even if the last few meals each month are instant noodles.

But the kid doesn't so much as wince, nodding as if the amount is entirely reasonable.

"All right, then," the kid says with satisfaction.  "It's a deal."

"Agreed."

There is silence for a few moments as the kid's expression transforms into something uncomfortable, his gaze sliding off to the side and his weight shifting from one foot to the other.  It's the sort of awkwardness he usually sees when somebody is working themselves up to ask for something particularly kinky or degrading. Roy has a moment to start worrying about what exactly the boy wants to do to him, before the kid seems to come to some kind of conclusion, raises his chin defiantly, and pulls the glove off his right hand to reveal a fairly high-tech prosthesis.

"Will this be a problem?"  The kid asks, holding the hand out towards Roy and curling each of the metal fingers closed and then open again.  With his other hand in a fist, he reaches down to knock on his left thigh, which echoes hollowly.  "Leg, too."

And that is not at all what Roy expected; he actually has to work to keep the surprise from his expression this time.  The boy walks and moves so naturally that Roy would never have suspected two of his limbs weren't natural if he hadn't been told. The mechanics and joints visible in the flexing right hand are more advanced than anything he's seen before, and the boy's obviously had them long enough to make controlling them second nature.

Still, he imagines that two missing limbs could potentially make things awkward when it comes to intimate relations, and for the first time he has some inkling of why the kid is approaching him rather than going out to a club to pick up.  He can only imagine the kinds of reactions the kid might receive from random hook-ups, especially in the gay scene, which tends towards the worship of bodily perfection.  

But Roy has no issues with damaged bodies, not after the kinds of physical trauma he's seen, and the damage inflicted upon his own.  If anything, he finds himself feeling an odd kind of brotherhood with this boy and his imperfect body, and he has a sudden desire to show the boy that desirability has nothing to do with being physically whole or perfect.  Maybe that's something he'll get a chance to do tonight.

"They're not a problem for me," Roy says, letting his expression speak his sincerity.

The kid's discomfort evaporates, his grin blooming fierce and radiant.  "Great!"  He declares.  "Let's do it!"

Roy lets himself smile this time - the boy's awkward enthusiasm is ridiculously endearing.

The kid winces as he twigs to the accidental double entendre, but he recovers quickly and holds out his hand.  "Oh, hey - I'm Ed."

Yet another surprise - most of his tricks remain deliberately anonymous, and those who give him a name use obvious aliases.  Roy never asks, and never offers his own in return.  But he has no doubt that Ed has just handed him his actual given name without a second thought, and something in Roy warms at this small display of openness and trust.  It also compels him to offer the same in return, despite his better judgement urging him to remain safely behind the shield of anonymity.   

"Roy."  The name sounds almost foreign to himself, it's so rare that he has reason to use it these days.

Roy reaches to shake the outstretched hand, realising at the last moment that he's reached out with his right while the kid's offered his left.  There's an awkward moment where he's forced to switch hands before grasping the one offered.  For a moment he just assumes the kid must be left-handed, and then it hits him - of course the kid prefers to shake with his natural hand rather than the prosthesis.  He wonders what other adaptations the kid's had to make to fit into a two-handed world.

The kid - Ed - doesn't seem ruffled by the moment of awkwardness, his grip firm and sure.  Roy doesn't think he's ever shaken the hand of a trick, either; apparently it's to be a day of firsts.  So far Ed isn't so much bending the rules of convention as shattering them, and Roy's usual ability to keep himself at a distance along with them.  He has to remind himself that no matter how friendly and sincere the kid is, he's still just a client.  It's one night's work, and then he'll probably never see the kid again.  

"Shall we?"  Roy asks, as Ed continues to simply stand and grin at him.

"Oh! Oh, yeah, hell yeah! Let's go."  Ed gestures for Roy to follow him, and Roy obediently falls into step beside him as they continue on down the street together.

Ed has no fucking idea what he's doing.

And Al is going to kill him.

He certainly hadn't set out to hire a hooker tonight.  He'd been fed up and frustrated as he'd left campus this evening, bored of the same rut his life has been stuck in lately, sick of the same paths he's been treading and retreading day by day.  The afternoon had dragged interminably and he'd grown more and more antsy and irritable, even snapping at Al when he'd called to let Ed know he wouldn't be home that night.  By the time he'd shoved his books into his satchel at the end of the last lecture, he knew he had to do something to try and break himself out of the petulant, pigheaded mood he'd sunk into.  He'd decided to start with something simple and take a different route home - he'd figured that maybe he'd stumble across a new take-away place, or a comic book shop he hadn't come across before.  

Instead, he'd found Roy.

The guy had caught his attention from a distance: a slender figure with his back temptingly arched, shoulders pressed against the bricks behind him, one knee bent with his foot flat on the wall.  He was only wearing a t-shirt and jeans, and Ed shivered sympathetically - the guy must be freezing his ass off.  All the same, the t-shirt did offer a nice view of his flat chest and belly, and the long, toned muscles of his arms.  

As he'd got closer Ed had filled in more details: straight black hair that fell to the tops of his ears, the shine of it a silver halo lit by the streetlight above, a stark contrast to the paleness of his skin.  His eyes were dark and alert, flickering to each of the evening travellers as they passed him by, assessing them intently.  He was the sort of good-looking that Ed found most attractive - sharp, lean and confident, with just a hint of danger about him.  The heat of want flared in the pit of his belly, startling him with its intensity - it was rare that Ed felt so attracted to anyone on first sight.  

It had taken Ed an embarrassingly long time to realise that the guy was a hooker.  He'd already passed several men loitering along the street who had watched him go by with the same contemplative gaze, but he hadn't really thought anything of it.  It wasn't until he found himself in front of the guy that all the pieces fell into place.  A few moments later he realised he was standing there staring like an imbecile, and was receiving an assessing look in return.  

"Can I help you?"  The guy had asked in a rich, smooth tenor.  He was well-spoken, his accent precise and refined - not what Ed had expected from a street worker, and for a few moments he was taken aback.

And then, without any actual input from his brain, he'd blurted: "How much?"

Ed was caught somewhere between horrified and aghast at his own impulsiveness.  Of all the stupid, impetuous things he'd ever done, this had to rank up there with the best of them.   What the hell was he thinking?  Had his dick somehow taken total control of his brain?  He'd never even had sex before, much less with a guy, and now he was suddenly deciding to proposition a gay hooker?

But the desire was still there, bright and hot and growing as he stood transfixed by the guy's dark, astute gaze.  Ed wanted him, wanted to feel the warmth of his mouth and solidness of his body against Ed's own.  So why the hell shouldn't he hire a hooker, if he wanted?  It wasn't a crime.  It wouldn't hurt anybody.  It's what the guy did for a living - there shouldn't be any shame in it, for either of them.  Ed had to lose his virginity some time, so he might as well do it in a way that let him call the shots.

And he had the money, sitting in the bank account he and Al jointly shared.  The legacy of their absent father, he and Al had sworn never to resort to it out of need - and they'd fucking stuck to it, supported themselves without any help from the asshole's pity cash.  But that meant the money was still just sitting there, and Ed felt a satisfying sense of pleasure at the thought of how displeased the bastard would be to know his son was contemplating using it to hire a gay hooker.

Meanwhile, said hooker was giving him the once over - and calling him a goddamn fucking kid.  Well, if Ed hadn't been resolved to go through with this before, he certainly was now.  If there was one thing he was good at, it was pushing back against assholes who thought he was too young to do something.  He was old enough to drink, drive, and hire a goddamn hooker if he wanted, and he'd damn well prove it if he had to, despite the indignity of being carded by a sex worker.

Once they'd sorted the details, Ed had a moment of sobering realisation - having sex with this guy was going to mean getting naked.  Which - yes, ok - should have been obvious from the outset, but forward thinking had never been Ed's strong suit.  He had no idea how the guy was going to react to his prostheses.  It wasn't like he was ashamed of his artificial limbs; they were hella useful, and he'd have a much fucking harder time managing without them.  But the looks and comments and questions got damn tiresome after a while, so he typically went gloved simply to avoid the hassle.  It wasn't something he'd could avoid if he was going to fuck this guy, though, and he had no idea how the guy was going to react to a double amputee.  

But Ed wasn't a coward, and he wasn't going to let fear get in the way of something he wanted.  He took a deep breath, lifted his head, and pulled off the glove - putting it all out there for the guy to see, even as he braced for the reaction.  

But none of the expressions he expected - distaste, awkwardness, or worst of all, pity - materialised.  The guy looked thoughtful for a moment, and then met his gaze evenly and said it wasn't a problem.  Ed wasn't always the best at reading people, but he knew a genuine reaction when he saw one.  The guy had seen his disability, acknowledged it, and accepted it - without any kind of judgement.

That's when Ed realised that he was kinda gone on the guy.  It was entirely ridiculous - it wasn't as if he really knew anything about him: they'd spent five minutes together and barely exchanged a handful of words.  But even the little he'd seen made Ed think that Roy was someone worth getting to know, and he'd found himself wanting to, just as much as he wanted to fuck the guy.

It wasn't a smart thing to want, not from a hooker he was paying to spend the night with and then would probably never see again. He tried to resign himself to the fact that Roy would be gone come morning - all they'd ever have, most likely, would be this one too-short night.

But then again, he thought, his irrepressible optimism twisting it back around - they had this night.  Even if they never had anything beyond tonight, he was still going to be able to talk to Roy, touch him, connect their bodies in the closest way possible and get to know him as well as anyone could in a span of only hours.  This night was his and he wasn't going to squander it, or waste time wishing it was something more than what it was.  

He was going to spend the night with Roy, and that was pretty fucking awesome, no matter what happened afterwards.  

"Shall we?"  Roy asks, breaking him from his reverie, and they set off down the street together.

So that's how Ed finds himself escorting a hooker back to his apartment one freezing Monday evening.  It might not be the most well-thought-out plan he's embarked on, but he doesn't think he's going to regret it. He darts a glance at Roy, and finds Roy looking back at him - Ed flushes with nervous embarrassment and Roy gives him a knowing smirk that gets him flushing for an entirely different reason.  Ed's not sure how even just the curve of Roy's lips can be so damn sexy.

Even if Al does kill him, Ed thinks this might be worth it.

[walters-tampon-string]

There’s Hope for You Yet...

Fandom: Batman

Rating: K

Warnings: Past Relationships, a bit sad but has an uplifting ending.

Characters: Jonathan Crane/Scarecrow, Edward Nygma/Riddler.

Relationships: Scriddler (Past Relationship but Hopeful Possible Reconciliation at the end) (No smooching or anything in this story though, sorry). 

Description: Edward was a part of Jonathan’s past he wanted to forget. Too bad Edward won’t let him.

Extra Notes: P.I. Riddler!!!

“What a surprise. Jonathan Crane still holing himself up in abandoned warehouses instead of investing in an actual warehouse like every other rogue. Really Crane, if you’re going to be a villain at least stop and rob the Gotham Bank like everyone else has at least once so you can afford a place with working electricity…”

Jonathan Crane flinched violently at the sudden voice, nearly dropping the test tube full of chemicals he had in his hand. That certainly wouldn’t have been good. Once he composed himself, he gritted his teeth to control his temper as he gently placed the tube back in the test tube rack. He had been hidden away in this warehouse for about a month now, tirelessly trying to concoct a new chemical formula for his fear toxin to make it extra potent and easier to manipulate. After all, there were still grudges that he needed to settle, and he might as well make it so his lab rats suffered all the more.

He thought he was the only one who knew of his dealings here. He had been careful to make it like that after all. He hadn’t hired any henchmen (he would hire some when he was actually ready to hit the streets of Gotham with his chemicals and when he could actually afford to splurge some cash on them), got all chemicals and ingredients from providers miles away from Gotham, and had interacted with no other rogue since his escape from Arkham. When he went out, he used a fake ID and wore sunglasses and other such things to hide his face. He had done everything in his power to make sure that he wasn’t a blip on the map.

There were only two people in his life who seemed to constantly know where he was no matter what he did… and he had to say, when he found himself actually wishing it was Batman he was dealing with instead, then that was a bad sign. At least Batman wasn’t chatty… and at least he and Batman didn’t have a certain kind of history that Jonathan would very like to erase from the fabric of his mind.

Oh how he wish he had a syringe right now…

Keeping his voice cold and tight, he turned around to face the green-clad man in front of him and said, “Hello Edward, still loud and as obnoxious as ever I see… care to tell me how you found this place?”

Edward’s face was annoyed at the insult but Jonathan watched as it eventually morphed into a proud and smug expression. No doubt the man was eager to explain how he brilliantly managed to figure out where Jonathan was hidden, just like Jonathan knew he would be. For a man who prided himself on being an enigma, he was awfully predictable once you got to know him a little better. Jonathan still couldn’t believe he used to find this man so intriguing.

He was really mad at himself on the fact that he still kind of did.

“It was merely simple deduction, Crane. I knew you never went to the effort of making a proper lair before, so I quickly pinpointed all of the abandoned warehouses and farms and such in Gotham. Then, once I did that, I thought to myself, ‘Hm, now which of these buildings is located somewhere around the outskirts of the city and in a seedy or reclusive area where no one would question someone going in and out of a warehouse?’ Badaboom, and voila! I found this place!”

Edward’s chest was actually puffed out with pride, as if he was expecting praise of some kind. Unfortunately for him, Jonathan wasn’t willing to give it.

“My my, very impressive, Edward. Now are you going to get on your knees and lick the law’s feet by arresting me or are you just going to hang around and waste my time as per usual?”

He saw a flash of anger shoot through Edward’s face for a brief moment, and Jonathan prepared himself to hear Edward yell or perhaps have the man call the police and cameramen over so they could film his arrest, but he was surprised to see Edward quickly managed to collect himself by closing his eyes and letting out a breath. Jonathan had to admit, he was somewhat intrigued. Edward would’ve never done that before. That coma really must have changed the man somewhat.

Once Edward seemed to deem it safe to open his eyes, he proceeded to flash Jonathan an infuriatingly cocky grin. He took his last statement back. That coma hadn’t changed him enough. At this point, Jonathan was tempted to finish the job that the person who placed Edward in a coma failed to do, but he controlled himself once more. Temper, temper. He knew physical confrontation wasn’t his strong suit and quite frankly he found such methods immature. Once his toxin became more refined however…

“Charming as ever I see, Crane. However, my reason for coming here is neither of those things.”

Jonathan couldn’t help the annoyance that seeped through his voice like a poison, “Then tell me, Nygma, why ARE you here?”

He suddenly saw Edward’s green eyes dart away from his gaze. The man bit his lip and began playing with his hands… almost as if he was… unsure of something. It was a rare expression to see on Edward and despite a large part of Jonathan wanting to say ‘fuck it’ and slosh the chemical he made into Edward’s face and record what happened when the incomplete formula was administered through the eyes, he couldn’t help but feel curious on what had gotten the usually over-confident man so antsy. A very, very small, shriveled up part of him hidden deep within the confines of his flesh actually felt a flicker of hope. A hope that maybe Edward would hushedly whisper to him that this whole private investigator thing was merely an act and that this was all part of some elaborate ruse that he wanted Jonathan to partake in.

Jonathan couldn’t help but inwardly roll his eyes at his own optimism. Yeah, and pigs would suddenly develop the ability to fly and Edward would get on his knees and beg him to forgive him and let them rekindle whatever it was they once had way back in the day. He knew from personal experience that good things like that didn’t conveniently and neatly plop on his lap like that. They never had and they probably never would. Even if Edward did such an out-of-character thing, what would he even do? Would he reject Edward and walk away with the satisfaction of knowing he had gotten the last laugh… or would he agree to go back with him?

He can’t believe he had gotten himself in a situation where he would even have thoughts like that. It made him even more mad that he didn’t have a solid answer to that question. Thankfully, Nygma spared him from thinking too hard about it as he interrupted Jonathan’s thought process by saying, “I came here to see if I could perhaps convince you to perhaps consider joining Quinzel and I in perhaps reforming.”

Jonathan’s jaw clenched. So that was what this was about. He should’ve known that it would be something stupid. So why was this obnoxious feeling of bitter disappointment in his chest?

Keeping his voice even, he let out a cold chuckle and shook his head. Turning back around to the table full of lab equipment, he said, “I knew you would only come here to waste my time. Sorry to say, Nygma, but I am afraid I will have to refuse your offer of suddenly becoming buddy-buddy with the law.”

He heard Nygma take a step forward as he exclaimed, “Jonathan, wait! You know it can’t be this way forever right? I mean look at you! Your lurking around in abandoned, dusty warehouses like some sort of street rat… obsessively pouring over your chemicals day after day, thinking that this time you have done it. You came up with the perfect plan to foil the Bat and all of those who stand in your way. And maybe at the beginning, your plan will work at first…”

God, did he ever shut up? Jonathan considered telling him to do so, but it wasn’t like Edward ever listened. So Jonathan continued to pretend like he wasn’t listening and that he wasn’t getting angrier and angrier by the second and that the grip on the flask wasn’t getting tighter than necessary…

“But we all know how it ends Jon. The Bat or someone else will beat you up or foil your plan and you’ll be sent back to Arkham Asylum and have to deal with all of that until you finally get your opening to escape once more. Rinse and repeat. And you're so convinced… that this is it. This is the plan. You’ve ironed out all the flaws. You’ve grown wiser. But you know what… so has the Bat and all of his Robins.

Shut up. Shut up. Shut up!

That was the mantra going on his head right now. He was beginning to see red almost… and he could feel the early inclinations of the Scarecrow starting to show through already… wanting so badly to make Edward scream until his heart gave out if it just meant he would stop talking.

If it meant that he would just stop confirming all the thoughts that Jonathan had thought before but had tried so hard to deny.

If it meant that Edward Nygma would stop being right.

No… no. He wasn’t right. That was a quitter's attitude. Jonathan’s research was so close… his revenge list almost done… he had come so far. He couldn’t give up now. Not at the pinnacle. So what if he died? At least it would be doing it to spread the message of fear all over the place. What did Nygma know, huh?

“I know this because I was just like you right before the coma,” Edward said in a tone so sad that Jonathan couldn’t help but deflate a little bit at it. All of the anger seemed to vanish from his lanky frame and all of a sudden he was just left feeling… tired.

When Jonathan finally gathered up his bearings, he turned around to give Edward a withering look as he asked, “Why are you telling me this, Nygma?”

Edward took another step forward, face encouraging as he said, “Because it doesn’t have to be like this Crane. You can do better for yourself, I know you can. You’re one of the smartest rogues in Gotham. Got a lick more sense than everyone else… and hey, if I can get a successful job, who says you can’t? Perhaps you can even go back to teaching…”

“Nygma,” Crane cut off, closing his eyes… trying to stop all of this false optimism, all this fake positivity from deluding him. But of course, Nygma didn’t listen.

“No Crane, really. I talked to the staff of the asylum and they actually think they are making progress with you. Of course you still have some issues to work through… I think we all do. But I genuinely believe you can do this. If you just go back to the Asylum and get your sanity card out of there… perhaps you can move on and do something with the rest of us. The rogue life… it has no conclusion. It’s a never ending cycle and you got to break out of it.”

Jonathan remained in contemplative silence for a moment. Part of him eyed Edward, wondering if this was a trap. This was all just a ploy of Edward’s to emotionally manipulate him to going back to the asylum so he could reap the glory of capturing the infamous Scarecrow and sending him back to Arkham to his fans. He was about to say as much when Nygma interrupted once more.

“I don’t want us to be enemies anymore, Jon.”

Fuck. Why did he have to say that? Jonathan stood there in silence, trying to formulate what to say to all of this without sounding too emotional. The memories of Edward coming to him that one last time and explaining how their lives were too different now… how they couldn’t keep whatever it was they had going… seeing him leave him behind. He used to be so mad at Edward for all of it. Used to hate him. Now he wasn’t sure what he felt anymore and he wasn’t sure how to react to that.

Thankfully, it seemed Jonathan didn’t have to say anything because Edward simply diplomatically tipped his head and said, “Of course, I am not going to force the decision on you… I just want you to know my side of the argument. And who knows. Maybe if you head back there I can give a word in for you or something… and if you get out, maybe we can work together… that is, if you would allow. Well… that was all I had to say… goodbye, Crane.”

As he turned around to walk away though, Jonathan couldn’t help but feel dissatisfied that that was how they were leaving things off. So… before his mind could stop him by thinking about it too hard, he said, “I’ll… consider your proposition, Nygma. No promises.”

He turned around before he could gauge Edward’s reaction, but he swore he could hear the smile on Edward’s face as he said, “Well then… maybe there is hope for you yet, Jonathan.”