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#one of them belongs to someone else
poorly-drawn-mdzs · 11 months
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MDZS Disco Elysium AU part 2 - Psyche Skills
Part 1 - Part 3
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#disco elysium#MDZS disco elysium au#jiang cheng#jiang yanli#yu ziyuan#While it's more in vogue to draw a character's skill roster tailored to them -#One of the more subtle details I love in DE is how some of the skill portraits parallel character portraits of people hbd associates with.#Theres somethine rather poetic to be said about how other people shape out thoughts and sometimes act as a 'voice' in our head.#How we are in part a collection of impressions other people left behind on us.#I am a huge Skillhead (Those are my friends! My party members! They love me! They have their own agendas and alliances!)#so of course a healthy portion of this AU is dedicated to them <3#the Int skills go basically unchanged from DE. Psy as well (with changes to a few quirks in voice).#Fys skills though...well...wwx is in a different body! Those voices belong to Someone Else.#Esp electrochem (MXY in this AU also partied to near death. WWX is withdrawing and craving substances he's never even heard of before)#While I personally don't fully subscribe to Volition Jean I *do* see Volition Jiang Cheng. The voice of your Not Brother keeping you afloat#All three of these parallels make me unbelievably sad. They are also both purple. Art is like that sometimes.#Empathy Jiang Yanli...oh man do I have a lot of thoughts about her. Disco fans Who Know....you can probably see what I'm cooking.#Authority is a really interesting skill in DE because *yes* its about power and intimidation - but it's also about finesse and respect#Titus Hardie and YZY both abuse *and* finesse how they establish their authority - in a way that leaves quite an impression.#2 more mdzs disco posts that I *need* to create and then I'm off to working on raffles <3
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just-null · 1 year
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are you oka- oh.
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felrend · 3 months
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Pure love
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i love psychoanalyzing the entire hargreeves family
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note-boom · 2 years
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Just some thoughts again for this episode sorry but....
Kyouka protecting Atsushi
Tanizaki getting triggered when they hurt Kenji (maybe not as unhinged as he is with Naomi but HE WAS PROTECTIVE OF KENJI)
The way the water the ADA stood next to rippled as soon as they stood up and decided to choose the path that led to less loss of lives...a ripple effect??
YOSANO'S BUTTERFLIES ANIMATED I AM OBSESSED
ALL the character moments like Kenji encouraging the ADA, Tanizaki being frustrated and protective, Kunikida never letting any of them die, Yosano saving them all with her ability, Kyouka going back for Atsushi, poor Atsushi being so out of the loop -
I wonder where the hideout Yosano was going to take them to was going to be....
#also idk if this belongs in the main post but i am obsessed with the way each agency member has a similar aged parallel to them#like a parallel within the agency that really plays off the whole life/death symbolism#like yosano/ranpo....dazai/kunikida....kyouka/kenji....and atsushi/tanizaki#hear me out the first have yosano as an angel of death and ranpo in his backstory confront an angel of death#yosano with a bloodstained past and ranpo with a fairy happy one#and then obviously kunikida with his ideals for life and dazai with his ideal to die#kyouka with her past as an assassin and kenji with his past as a farmer (cultivating life)#and then atsushi and tanizaki being....rather extremists but also just slightly ambiguous where they stand in this dichotomy#like atsushi obviously seems like life and tanizaki seems to be death but theyre both...well there is something anyway#BUT how in the end all of them choose life (yes even dazai) and how all of them still understand the deadliness and death of the world#armed detective agency my beloveds honestly#i cherish them all so much#and also even though the similar aged thing doesnt really work out here im gonna say fukuzawa and naomi can be a parallel#for the sole reasons that both are here really because of someone else even if one is the pres and the other a clerk#but fukuzawa is all about 'you are CHILDREN please be safe'#and naomi is like 'im gonna die with you or not try and stop me'#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd season 4#bsd s4 spoilers#bsd spoilers#spitting nonsense#bsd musings#armed detective agency#rambling in the tags sorry
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brehaaorgana · 9 months
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People joke about ADHD all the time, even swear up and down they totally think they also have it, but then if you ask for an accommodation, to please please please provide things in fucking writing, EXACTLY what they want and need, you will even work it out WITH them, like they promised they would do �� repeatedly over and over, and then you don't get it people really will fucking be like:
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I am using the incorrect bathroom (TM) to place my shelving and store my things. Homegirl literally removed various sundries and toiletries from a CLOSED CABINET and SHELF because she's interested in boundaries and accountability for my mess.
I said months ago I wanted to improve things for her comfort level and needed a written list of what precisely that fucking looked like in order to achieve it and not miss anything she deemed important. I explained how ADHD works, why I needed a written reference. Why I had to have it laid out, and if something needed changing we needed to write it all out. I would've made the list myself, but they said they would make it for the whole house to hold up their end of things. And, thinking this was a very reasonable adult solution to keeping the house in good shape, I said okay, come up with the list of expectations and what is needed and that way we can update how we handle chores. Awesome. I will do that to uphold my end.
No list ever gets made or drafted or anything despite my bringing it up, knowing we need to do it, but I DO get berated for failing to meet expectations and boundaries that were never fucking provided or delivered and include "don't store toiletries in this particular bathroom because I don't like it."
I can't believe I am a goddamn adult who gets treated like an idiot child for expecting adult communication instead of snide ass passive aggressive bullshit and basic respect for my things.
Because when I fucking get home, my shelving has been removed and a cabinet emptied of my things and placed in the "correct" bathroom.
🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
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Oh shit she solved it, this doesn't look cluttered at all!
What a vast improvement to storing things in appropriate storage!
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bunnihearted · 30 days
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꒰୨୧꒱
#the thing is that even if i always long for a relastionship...#i've never even been in one and idk how they work & im so scared of many things#i have sm troubles and issues with touch. i've gotten to a place where i cant even stand my own sisters or mom bumping into me#and outside i cant stand when someone accidentally walks into me or touching someone's legs on the bus#i hate it. it's not only feeling uncomfortable i feel distressed and scared and sick#smth that seems very normal in like all couples is that youre 'allowed' to touch eo all thge time whenever#that scares me a lot. like touch is so scary for me. and when youre in a relationship theres just this silent agreement that you can touch#eo all the time and thats like... how it's supposed to be.... ://#thats so scary to me. that theres this expectation and demand that if im someones gf they should be allowed to touch me whnever#and like i've never been in love and been in a relationship and been touched by that person so idk#maybe it wouldnt be an issue. but just thinking that.. i dont belong completely to myself and therefore give up#the right to not be touched if and when i feel distressed or uneasy is too scary for me#maybe i could learn to feel safe with them and want their touch but rn it scares me skskks#what if they kiss me when im feeling extremely sex reoulsed and wanna kill myself bc of my inner agony#and they get hurt when i try to pull away?#bc regardless of what ppl say... it is a truth that in a relationship youre exoected to want physical touch at all times#and it is seen as an insult to your partner if there are other forces within u (like trauma etc) that makes u sometimes uncomfortable w it#but yeah idk... the problem is that... in humanity and society#consent is one of the least important and prioritized things. as a humanbeing living u will have your consent disregarded countless times#and for me personally consent is one of the most important things. & thats one of the reasons why its so hard for me to live in this society#like yes i do want to have a partner and touch and be touched#but what if we're in the store and im feeling particularly bad that day and feel like#i need to turn myself inside out and peel my skin off and feel anxious and scared#and they just casually grab my ass?? then i will go home and kill myself :) or have a breakdown in the store lol#i dont want to go thru this but i also dont wanna put someone else thru it#and like it would be different if they asked first if i was ok being touched and i said yes#and if i said no theyd respect me and not get hurt#but like be for real.... almost nobody does that. and almost everyone thinks thats lame#in most relationships nobody asks eo. youre expected to just always be ok with it. if u want to be asked youre silly and demanding#nobody asks their partner abt that. that just dont happen lmao. so idk. :((( i wish i was normal
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fooltofancy · 5 months
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how much of ilya's acquiescence in shb is resignation in the wake of recognition (and the consequences thereof), like. it's not looking in a mirror, looking at zenos, because even in the nihilism there's a drive, right. but maybe there's a flicker of something in your heart that wants to let him be right about you so that you're something more than a tool.
it can't be "maybe i am just a thing full of hunger, instinct and want and teeth" because instead it's "maybe it's better that someone else holds the leash."
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wereh0gz · 9 months
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Coral cave act 1&2 mix playing in the bg
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sleeperagentclone · 4 months
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Going to my first concert tommorow, I've identified my coolest shirts and pants but I still don't know what to wear
Mutuals pls help
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We got diy wolf tank top with either loud ass shorts or brown work pants (with oversized flannel??)
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Diy cat tank top (flannel????)
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Oddly specific vintage baseball tee
I'm gonna wear my brown docs and some gay socks no matter what
This is who I'm seeing if that's relevant
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eclipsecrowned · 4 days
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goes into tags for one of my fandoms. watches that one fandom's wheel of fortune swing back around to 'why are m*rder hornets building nests on my blog?'
#the metaphor is thus: someone in fandom wants to create a hornet character. no one wants to interact with hornets.#bc they sting and hurt irl. some people in comm might even belong to cultures where hornets hurt their relatives or themselves.#the hornet fan gets mad. we're oppressing them! we're mean because we won't write with them! then they think they hit a hail mary:#'how can you be mad at me writing a hornet when you guys play dragons and 0wlbears? they're way more deadly.'#and so we all shut up sit back and watch the hornet fan begin to panic that actual irl stinging hornets start circling their content#and entrenching themselves in fandom after a long winter hiatus bc everyone else sprayed them with pesticide last time they rolled up.#the whole house is infested. the hornet fan has to run. abandon blog. they swear they're not an actual hornet and don't understand why#their hornet-aligned content attracted real life hornets.#they realize the difference between irl hornets and the fictional dragons and 0wlbears.#all a metaphor for an irl h*te group that for some reason people want to romanticize/make cool villains around...#in a fandom based around the dragons and 0wlbears killing and eating hornets.#fuckin wild it's happening again.#out of stories#SIPPING MY MILK AS I SHAKE UP A BIG CAN OF FASH-B-GONE BC THE EDGY COLLEGE KIDS DON'T REALIZE SOME CONTENT IS ALWAYS GONNA BE P0LITICAL#AN ACTUAL MEMBER OF THAT GROUP IS JUST GONNA SEE PROPAGANDA WHEN YOU DRAW YOUR KAWAII OC IN THE UNIFORM --#WE'RE NOT TRYING TO BE RUDE WE'VE DONE THIS DANCE TO DEATH WHENEVER THIS SHIT EMBOLDENS THE ACTUAL ASSHOLES.#WHEN WE SAY 'HEY DON'T DO THAT' IT'S NOT COMING FROM A PLACE OF CENSORSHIP IT'S 'HEY YOU'RE GONNA GET STUNG WE DON'T WANT THAT.'#vent //#tbd //
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luvsavos · 8 months
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random vent(?) in the tags, feel free to ignore i just have a lot of pent up emotions to get out today apparently
#mar.txt#it's weird being aro(?) and yet also longing for a relationship. maybe its just bc almost all of my friends are in one#maybe it's bc of how easily jealous i get#maybe its the fact that i'm constantly being reminded that i am nobody's most important person. there's always someone more important.#maybe it's just the all-consuming,gaping hole of loneliness within me#idk.#i don't even know if i AM actually aro or if i'm just so demi that i may as well be aro or if ive just had so many bad experiences that it#feels impossible for me to feel romantic attraction#a few of my ocs (shara and the alatreon) are how i think i'd describe myself; aro,but willing to be in a relationship provided the other#person isn't bothered by them being aro,bc they have their own equivalent to romantic feelings#i know i'll never have one though. for all my confidence and whatnot i still very much am insecure about my own loveability. because the#only thing life has shown me is that i very much am not loveable. all the way back in first grade ppl were already using me instead of#actually caring#'dating' me to make someone else jealous. so they could have a drug buddie. a fuck buddie. so they could try to manipulate me into things#because i was a young teenager desperate for validation and to feel like i mattered and belonged and they were nearly adults who knew they#could exploit that. i'm surprised i never had anything happen to me beyond being pressured into trying chew tobacco (awful and disgusting)#and doing it every time i was around my 'boyfriend' and his friends#the only two genuine relationships i had didn't last either; one lost feelings after three years and the other just sorta stopped talking to#me and iirc eventually picked up a boyfriend that was actually local instead of long distance#i am not worthy of love. i will never be loved in the way that my friends are. hell i won't ever even find a qpp(?). and that makes me sad.#to know i will always be alone. that i'm destined to die alone. but it is what it is i guess. i just wish it didn't bother me so much.#i wish i could be content in my loneliness and not be jealous of everyone around me. i wish i could accept that i will never be anybody's#most important person. that the only person i can or will ever be the most important to is myself. self love,yeah? ha.#maybe 2024 will have something in store for me. god i hope it does. but i doubt it will. more of my friends will get into relationships,#those already in them will stay in them and/or take a step forward in their relationship. and i will remain alone. just as i always have.#anyways. sorry vent over i'm just. ugh. upset today. emotions are stupid and i want a refund on them. i did not ask to be saddled with the#burden of feeling such intense,suffocating displacement and loneliness. i did not ask to feel these negative emotions so strongly.#i just want to be someone's most important person. i just want to matter.
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shewantsitall · 4 months
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HELLO FRIENDS THIS IS YOUR REMINDER TO DO THINGS EVEN IF YOU DO THEM ALONE! DOING THEM ALONE IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN JUST NOT DOING THEM!!!
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coridallasmultipass · 1 month
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I am once again begging online shop payment processing companies to allow me to enter a separate name for shipping and separate name for billing!!
It's the same address, I'm just trans and have not legally changed my personal name, but I still prefer to receive mail as my preferred name! Like it's literally my professional name, I do business as my preferred name.
Annoying as fuck, and I don't want to chance my bank rejecting the payment (though I'm sure someone at my bank has put a note to allow it on my account by now, since I've contacted them a couple times before when I realized too late that the billing section didn't let me input another "address/name" section, and they said the payment was fine in those cases.)
Anyway, legal name changes should be free and non-advertised for everyone. Tbh, you should get a free name change every time you file your taxes on time as an incentive for good citizen behaviour. Once I am elected pres-
#i think the one i just used didnt even have a separate billing address option which makes no sense#guess they dont want anyone giving any gifts making the buyer pay twice for shipping like that#maybe it was a fault of the mobile browser but i highly doubt it since many desktop sites look like mobile browsers these days#just so fucking frustrating. what if i lived somewhere where my legal name would out me? (im in the closet rn so doesnt matter)#i dont want to fucking see my legal name. im already forced to see it everywhere else.#i dont wanna ruin my mood on a day when im supposed to be getting a package which should be a happy thing yknow#vent#transphobia#speaking of like i would change my name but i dont want to and cant afford the fucking ridiculous price for it#and i dont wanna advertise it in a newspaper either! shits expensive as fuck on top of the hundreds to file the court paperwork!#i already tried to do it once with money in hand and the receptionist told me that even tho it was for gender identity i could not...#...avoid the newspaper thing unless i also changed my legal gender marker. and i had to back out bc i have reproductive health problems#i dont want a gender marker change to fuck with my getting healthcare#(i did change the gender letter on my ID card later tho which only took a signature on a paper no hassle with anything)#it really really fucking sucks how all these little things add up all the time#especially when im closeted while living w family who wont even use my preferred name#the real kicker is that. both my dad and his dad used preferred names. my dad used his middle name#and i use part of my middle name. yet my dad even in death still gets the dignity of being called his preferred name and i dont#sexism at its finest#reasons why i dont even hint at being trans around my moms side bc i already got bullied by them for wanting to use my middle name#ive literally been asking them to call me my mid name since i was 12. and theyve been acting like im trying to be someone else#its the same middle name on my birth certificate they gave me. i dont understand why they wouldnt want me to use it#but yeah i stay closeted bc i dont wanna deal with the name drama amplified exponentially for gender#prob get kicked out too cuz theyre queerphobic as fuck and i cant work rn and dont have a car#id have to just go full feral and live in the woods with the lizards where i belong#Cori.exe#Post.exe#fuck lol just looked it up and u cant change ur first name if u get married. i cant avoid the fucking fee man. let me be cori#literally why is it cheaper to get married than change ur first name! bullshit! marriage has so much more legal implications#transphobic queerphobic aromanticphobic privacyphobic poorphobic shit ass fucking state ive literally been cori most of my life ffs cmon
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lingeringscars · 1 year
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i just think there is something about how nat could never forgive herself for javi sacrificing himself for her. she was worse than all of them because she let this kid, her somewhat boyfriend's brother, her own family, her friend, die in her place. it was supposed to be her, she heard the cries from javi and watched him die nonetheless.
but now she didn't watch. she didn't watch at all when it came to lisa. she stole the fish. she intervened with her family. she died in her place. nat healed a part of her when sacrificing herself for lisa. it wasn't right. it wasn't her time. she didn't want to go, but she got to finally pay forward javi's sacrifice in a way that she's never been able to do and always been punishing herself for. she got to heal her inner child by saving lisa. ( the irony is that it may not have happened had she not gone to try and save lisa to begin with. not tipped her off to something happening. these are the consequences of the girls actions. they wanted a hunt through the woods, they got one. they went after shauna and called off services, nat pays the price. misty tries to solve the problem the way she has been but she's not a perfect serial killer and she missed. they covered up the wrong guy at the end of last season. they killed the wrong person at the end of this one. ).
travis didn't break the pact, but neither did she. she did better. (btw travis was on the plane <3)
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aggravatedanarchy · 2 months
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I need this bloodwork thing to be done already I CANNOT keep stressing about this
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