#one of them was a ball python. you can’t just keep a ball python in a drawer. even i know that

[fingertipsmp3]

The other thing that’s happened is I had a dream last night that wasn’t really sad or a nightmare but it really disturbed me anyway and I’ve spent the last like 2-3 hours just thinking about it

[revelboo]

>.> if we can share non-cats-and-dogs then i must present my son

hes almost 5 now and honestly very small because when he came into the shelter i worked at we didnt think he was going to make it because he wouldnt eat. I hand [assist] fed this dude as a baby and he didnt always keep it down so hes small for his age (i had to learn about snakes on the fly), he hung out with me while i did college and now he likes to come hang out when i watch youtube <3 i have 3 other snakes now too, but who are not nearly as friendly and i love using him to show people snakes arent scary because hes super friendly and isnt scared of kids because he grew up in a house full of them.

(Hes a Bee morph Ball Python. It is NOT an ethical breed; i do NOT condone breeding any variation of Spider morph [which a Bee is one]. i ONLY got him because i wouldnt let them put him up for adoption to be bred and make more.

Awww! He’s just a little guy

Affection

TFP Wheeljack

• “Hey, doll,” he growls, spark aching when you look up at him, but don’t greet him. Giving him the silent treatment, not that it’s anything new. You never say hi. Never smile. Hates this obsession with you, that he can’t let you go. That he’s hurting both of you because you don’t want to be here and a part of him resents his fixation. “Oh, yeah,” he mutters, pretending you’d answered him, asked him about his day like a real mate. “I kicked some Decepticon aft today. Found something for you, too.”

• Why? Why does he have to act out this charade? You never play along, but he won’t stop just like he won’t let you go. Unresisting as he joins you on the berth, pulling a plush blanket from subspace and draping it in your lap. And your eyes close when he brushes his servo against your hair. So tired of fighting him all the time, of refusing to talk to him. “Thank you,” you mutter, fingers fisting in the blanket. Because maybe honey might work better.

• Freezing, he stares at you. Because you never thank him for anything. Just stare at him and his spark hums, as he warms. “You like it then?” And you smile at him. Reaching, his hand stops short of touching you. Asking for permission. Servos trembling faintly when you lean forward, letting him cup your cheek. Finally giving him a chance.

• He’s shockingly gentle as his servos brush along the bridge of your nose, trace an eyebrow, run along your bottom lip. Like he’s memorizing you. “It’s soft,” you whisper, unsure what to make of this Wheeljack. That he’s not strung tight with frustration and barely leashed anger right now. That he’s not so intimidating.

• “Can I hold you? Nothing else,” he adds when you hesitate and lean away. Those eyes looking up at him uncertainly and his door wings drop. Shouldn’t have pushed for more. You’re going to say no, close off from him again. But then you stand and come to him and he doesn’t know what shifted between you, but he’s so thankful as he opens his arms for you. And you feel so right as you cautiously settle against him, fitting against him like ours where you were always meant to be.

[wisteriagoesvroom]

LOL I can imagine for vampire au Lando starting to third wheel Carcar and so even though turning Franco is a complete accident he can’t feel too guilty bc he uses it as an excuse to hang around someone else, and somehow he learns more about vampirism lore through a human grad student than he’s learned in his whole life (he’s lived a long time, lots of info to absorb). Then also, if you don’t mind my ask, what do they all do for jobs/how do they get money and would Franco keep studying ?

HELP this is so cute. ok. norpinto-frando vampire au for those who aren't up to speed...

Lando starting to third wheel Carcar and so even though turning Franco is a complete accident, [Lando] can’t feel too guilty bc he uses it as an excuse to hang around someone else -> screaming cus, absolutely. random associated headcanons for this... i'll rewind a bit:

carlos is the oldest vampire, like, moorish/medieval era. he met lando while they were both at a masquerade ball in the early 1600s and smelled each other right away (carlos like wood and ink, lando like gas lamps and wet stone).

lando is an tudor era vampire. like he actually knew shakespeare and said he was one of the best viral marketers of the era

oscar was turned in the early days of the australian penal colony, he's like first or second generation white australian but he refuses to be called british. he moved in to the house because the rent was cheap and he doesn't feel the need to live extravagantly -- even though he, too, is $$ loaded $$

oscar didn't move in until about two decades ago - very short by vampire standards, to them it feels like yesterday - but carlos and oscar are basically They Were Roommates atp even though they squabble con-stant-ly

their neighbours think they are a new age-y polyam group but because the people who live opposite them are students, nobody ever hangs around longer than a year to remember them or dig deeper

so franco definitely brings a fun funky fresh dynamic

he learns more about vampirism lore through a human grad student than he’s learned in his whole life (he’s lived a long time, lots of info to absorb) -> things that baby vamp!franco teaches lando include

tiktok trends, like how to make ur teeth comically large in photos. lando finds this hilarious

how to use venmo

creating a roster on google docs for who needs to do what house chores

jailbreaking an apple watch so it doesn't read their pulses (they don't have any), but it will remind them of the moon phases and when they might be extra hungry to feed

at one point franco actually puts his academic skills to use and helps lando hunt down some of his family tree, because since lando was turned and it's been so long, he doesn't remember much about them : ( so one of franco's little gifts to lando is helping him trace his heritage

what do they all do for jobs/how do they get money and would Franco keep studying ? -> i love how practical-minded you are. um well let's say this fictional supernatural creatures' market mostly runs on barter trades and goodwill agreements. the entire house sometimes just gets lazy tbh so lando or carlos will just dig into one of the old chests of random shit and pull out an antique and go: "do we think this is worth anything?" then they take it to an antiques dealer who is also a mage (alex albon) and there is a 1 in 25 chance that the antique is actually is worth something, so that bankrolls them for another half a year or whatever.

carlos makes a lot of noise about being "an art dealer" just because he sold a goya painting to a museum once.

oscar is a man of industry, of the "newer" world (australia) etc etc so he spent the 80s and 90s learning C++ and Java and Python so he legit just codes for a living. or when he feels like it. oscar has helped launch at least a dozen startups under various pseudonyms and one of them is even a blue chip company by now. he doesn't do it for money tho. he just does it cus he likes a challenge, and otherwise fights with carlos too much. when he isn't coding he likes to tinker and fix things just for fun. like, he legit knows how to fix a boiler and stuff. his familiar is definitely a grumpy orange neighbourhood cat.

franco keeps studying!! he is such a nerd that he's like "i can totally learn everything about anything now, and i could in theory do like 20 masters degrees, and nobody can stop me"!! then lando is like, "well you might get bored of it after a while or burn out". but franco insists he will not. in fact with his enhanced neurological abilities he goes on an academic bender trying to fast forward through an entire harvard's undergrad degree's worth of material in a week, and he ends up faceplanting on his desk. and then poor lando has to go and find a fresh chicken or something to kill and revive franco 'cus franco wore himself out too fast being a bb vampire with accelerated mind powers.

franco promises never to do that again (but of course he will continue to do it once in a while, and everyone still looks after him in his lil study hangovers because he is so very nice. also he taught them how to use venmo.)

and. one time. franco is like. "i can't find this rare sonnet do you know what library i could maybe locate it in" and lando is like "wait i know that one" and pulls out an honest to god original copy that he at some point got laminated in the early 80s. and franco is like. "um i think this should be in a museum??" and lando is like "yeah but i gave them a copy of this, cus i spilled ink on the corner of this in 1603 after a really good night out" and franco is like "???? ok ????"

then lando swans off to moodily stare at the moon or some shit.

[50cal-fullauto-astarion]

König HC’s ii

part one

Back in black bitches, hello again. CW: I make allusions to shooting an orangutan, but none are actually shot. Is that kind of day here at König Brainrot HQ.

Queer.

His name is Leopold Königsbacher bc I feel Leopold is a horrid name to saddle a gawky weird-ass little kid with, and it doesn’t get much better as an adult. Hates being called Leopold or Leo, someone called him Poldy once and he never talked to that person again, but he depending on the person, he will answer to Lee.

I personally see his face as looking something like Jeremy Allen White’s, but y’know. Significantly more roughed up.

Sub-point: he could honestly be any weird lookin’ white guy with creepy eyes, it doesn’t matter.

Unlike the data mined Ghost face reveal, which I love with all of my heart and keep in a locket on my neck, I can’t accept the data mined König face reveal bc it looks too much like dudes I grew up with. All I can think is, “That man has dip in his lip and a spit bottle in his shirt pocket.” Which is a shame bc it is a good face.

Callsigns as I understand them aren’t really supposed to be related to a person’s actual name, but they can be kind of mocking in nature. So I picture him getting König from his last name was intended for mockery and to degrade him. King of a pile of shit, basically.

Hyper aware of doing anything that could be seen as embarrassing by other people. Movements, weird vocal tics or flubs, how he’s standing, what he’s looking at. Breathing. Avoids doing it if he can, but if that’s impossible, he’ll do them aggressively, bc generally people will avoid someone aggro. When an asshole does something embarrassing assholeishly it becomes scary.

Crooked ears.

Just kinda crashing through life with half-assed ideas instead of plans. He was really banking on becoming a sniper, and that achieving it would suddenly kick some enlightenment and maturity into his ass thereby fixing him. Probably expected that he’d have a house, spouse, and fam by now in the alternate reality where he succeeded. Since he didn’t, he’s just sorta fuckin’ around in a holding pattern as a bachelor in a suburban rental he pays too much for.

Ambivalent towards cats. True neutral. Can take them or leave them.

Fuckin’ loves bears though. Loves a dumbass lookin’ sun bear and will chew your ear off with sun bear atrocity stories.

Also is a rat/ferret/lizard/snake dude. Tell me he has any distinct feelings on feeding pinkies to an albino morph ball python and I will assert that he is thinking, “Food f��r baby 😊”

Oh my god did everyone else know that emojis could get smalled? Am I the last person to find this out?

I’m giving him this one from me too: he will shoot an orangutan on sight. Hates them. Creep him out hardcore. All other primates are good to go, but orangutans are born destined to rot hell.

Starcraft player, former disgusting League of Legends player. S.T.A.L.K.E.R., Metro, and CS:GO aficionado. VTMB and Fallout 1, 2, and New Vegas lover.

Doesn’t fuck with alcohol or alcoholics, but had/has a binge drinking problem - the duality of man. LOOOOVES uppers though, and doesn’t know that Battle Rage is just Military Meth, he’s somewhat strung out on it when he doesnt take leave as often as he should.

Buys shoes and clothes in bulk when he finds them in his size. Has 3 sets of tennis shoes in the back of his closet and 6 pairs of hiking boots/regular boots for KorTac work.

My lunch is getting cold, love you, bye.

[candy-floss-crazy]

There are some weird funfair foods available at funfairs around the world. Some of them quite interesting and possibly viable in the UK. Others just plain strange. Many of our offerings such as Candy Floss Carts or Corn Dogs can trace their heritage back to the USA. So we are always on the lookout for new lines Stateside. Here are a selection of our favourite Stateside offerings ; The Texans actually won an award for this one, proving just about anything can be deep fried. Kansas State Fair's frozen pickle brine. I bet this one is super sour. One enterprising vendor added grilled python to his offerings when he heard California's State Fair was demanding more adventurous food offerings. Only in Florida. A cheeseburger with deep fried ice cream. Mains and dessert all in one. From the State of Ohio, what is it with Americans and heart attack inducing food. Called a muddy pie, it is fried bacon coated in chocolate. Alabama make their attempt at clogging your arteries with this concoction. A hamburger served between two Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Illinois offer this, alligator on a stick. So you can visit the State Fair's alligator show, then eat the stars. Take a bow Oregon, with their entry, deep fried road kill. We aren't sure if it is actual road kill, or just the name, but we wouldn't put anything past those crazy Yanks. Another entry from the Golden State. Chocolate covered Scorpions. I suppose if you have a local resource you might as well make use of it. South Carolina's answer to the texas deep fried beer. They inject balls of fried dough with Pepsi syrup, dust them in sugar and add more syrup as a topping. Is there anything the Americans won't deep fry? San Diego offered up your favourite coffee brand fried into doughballs. The Calgary Stampede saw the introduction of the $100 hot dog. Yep, that's right, a whole $100 for a foot long dog. WTF, I hear you ask, how does a hot dog get to be $100. Well, it might be the use of Kobe beef. A high end Japanese delicacy. Or perhaps the Louis XIII brandy that the beef is soaked in (that's about £2500 a bottle). And the truffle and lobster topping doesn't help in keeping the price down. So whilst we will keep an eye on the weird funfair foods available across the pond, I can't see us actually using any of the current offerings. If you fancy something more sensible, say hot dog cart hire then get in touch. Read the full article

[harperonni]

NSR Oc’s!! here we go lads!! I’m gonna put more info about them under read more bc asdfg I just wanna yell about them! might even open up to questions about them bc I just would love love to share more omg, so feel free to ask about them if you like Also all three are trans and very queer

Left to right: Valli Styrene

She/Her, 29, trans, lesbian

Tattoo artist. Farah was one of her first customers, and her popularity rocketed after she did EVE’s thigh tattoo.

Only has one tattoo, as she’s a big perfectionist. She has lots of ideas on what she’d like, but just can’t seem to follow through on them

Often goes to EVE’s art gallaries when she can. She studied Fine art at uni, though dropped out the course on her last year. Took her a lot of retail jobs and apprenticeships before she got to where she is now. 

Fangs run in the family, but she’s not a vampire. 

Her favourite animals are actually snakes. She has a pet Ball python (despite the place where they’re renting having a no pets policy) and her name is Carmilla

Still paints from time to time, likes using gouache the most.

Farah Sol

They/She, 36, Non-binary, Pansexual

Comes from a biiigg family. Two mums, five siblings, and now five nieces/nephews. Is very close to their family, and frequently visits home (Valli and Speckle have been brought into the familly circle too, given how the three live togehter and had been friends since meeting at uni).

NSR artist - ElectroSwing (Still unsure if they have a district in the future, like if they get that popular. Maybe, only because it would be fun to imagine asdfg) 

They’re also a semi-successful author, though they go by a pseudonym (Sol Bacho) because they want their books to be read becuase they’re good, not because they’re an NSR artist. Some of their best sellers include: Vinyl City, a music foundation, RETDEX: What once was, and  Stars Aline (a romance they honestly hadn’t expected to get popular lol)

Adores cats. If she could have cats in their no pet house they would not hesitate. For now though, she goes to DJ SS’s house and snuggles his cats instead lol

(also kinda shipped them with DJ Subatomic as a joke but now it’s not a joke help)

Speckle Darling

He/Him, 35, Trans, Gay

Architect, has worked outside and in Vinyl city and over saw some of the more lived in areas, (as in, homes where people could live lol) and if I decide Farah’s a charter with their own district, is def the man Farah hires to help design their district.

Arcitecture and DIY is this mans passion! He will talk hours over the differences and imporatnace of specific window panes. 

He also relaxes with simulator games, like the sims (this man would only ever build houses, he never plays with any actual families). He would also unironically enjoy truck simulator too. He’s a simple man with simple pleasures.

He uses a cane to help walk, primarily with his left foot which is robotic. He was born without his left leg, and didn’t really get his first prosthetic until his teens years.

Is a single and divorced dad, too. Maybe a year after Farah becomes a charter, there’s a celebration on one of Farah’s songs being a big hit. Speckle drank too much and woke up in another city, married to a guy he didn’t know. The two enjoyed eachothers company, but decided to divorce. Speckle heads home, vowing to not drink again after all that happened. Three weeks later he finds out hes pregnant, and decides to keep the baby. Then, Sandi Darling was born

He adores his daughter so much, and Farah and Valli are co-godparents to Sandi. They’re reffered to as Aunt Far, and aunt Val

[tauforged]

honestly, and i can truly say this with my chest now that i don’t work for the bastards anymore, but more people need to know that buying a hamster or a gecko from petco is synonymous with buying a puppy from a mill breeder. unless they’ve made a major u-turn in the months since i quit after years of refusing to change suppliers (spoiler: they haven’t) their animals are always gonna be sourced from breeders who don’t outcross their animals, breed them too young, send them out as young as legally possible, don’t do health checks or even monitor animals for disease before they’re shipped to the fucking store (we’ve had incredibly young mice show up with cataracts, visible and impairing birth defects, active neurological issues like spiraling or self injury, stuff you should be able to pick out IMMEDIATELY and cull. guinea pigs and hamsters were constantly arriving with ringworm and wet tail. reptiles would come right out the box with mites, stuck shed that led to amputated toes or feet due to lost circulation (in one case a panther chameleon lost an entire leg!!). we had fish that arrived with massive tumors on their face that obscured their mouths and made it impossible to eat, fish lice, ich, fungal infections, kinked spines, malfunctioning or thoroughly nonfunctional swim bladders, missing eyes, pretty much anything that could happen to an animal due to bad breeding showed up at my old location at least once. we kept insisting they stop sending us spider ball pythons because their neurological issues were so bad we had to have every single one euthed because it couldn’t eat or navigate without injuring itself. the result? they stopped individually labeling morphs and sent us ‘assorted fancy’ ball pythons instead. they didn’t remove the spider gene from their breeding stock. we started seeing BPs without visible spider morph traits that were corkscrewing and stargazing. our manager got fed up with taking our animals to the vet constantly and removed a bunch of shit from our planogram, but that didn’t stop them from sending animals we didn’t ask for.

the animals supplied to petco (i can’t speak for other chains, but i’d imagine this is par for the course elsewhere) are badly bred, overpriced, and not cared for properly in the stores BY DESIGN - i got written up multiple times for ‘breaking policy’ because i would give animals extra hides, proper substrates, extra enrichment, just to keep them from cowering in the fucking corner at all times. i was told by our district manager that “you’re treating these animals like they’re pets, and they’re not. they’re merchandise.” i tried to complain about this statement, but nobody gave a shit.

don’t buy animals from chain stores unless you know how to look for sick/injured/badly bred animals and are prepared to deal with the potential vet bills and even having to put the poor thing down. even if you are, like. i guess i can’t stop you? but i’m not sure why you’d do that.

and for the love of all that’s fucking holy, STOP PITY BUYING ANIMALS. stop buying sad, sick looking animals to ‘rescue’ them. i know it’s hard to see them suffer, but putting money in the company’s pocket will only encourage them to continue. these companies are well aware that pity buys are a big market, especially when it comes to small animals like bettas or other fish. if you feel strongly about how an animal is being treated, by all means make a stink about it, complain to corporate, bring it to the employees’ attention (although there won’t be much, if anything, they’ll be capable of doing about it, sadly), hell, post about it online or whatever, but don’t fucking buy the animal to make yourself feel better about “saving” it. if you wanna rescue an animal so badly, visit a shelter or look into rehoming or rehab programs. consider fostering. just…. stop giving these companies your money. they’re overcharging you for the absolute bottom of the barrel, and they’re outright refusing to change because people are still buying what they’re selling no matter what.

[snugglebeans3000]

I finally decided to post my beyblade OC!!! They’ve been sitting in my sketchbook for so so long, I should’ve posted it sooner but eH

Some HCs about them so you can get to know them better:

Elliot:

Can knit, however they’re only fond of making stuffed animals. They have a lot of projects going on that they never completely finish because they have a bad habit of picking up projects on the fly. However, when they’re done, you can tell that it’s made with love and detail.

Really has an insane love for horror movies. He grew up with them as a kid and whether she needs something to bring comfort into his life he turns on a movie marathon of horror for hours. Doesn’t talk about it a lot so people won’t be freaked out, but there will be obvious signs since they’ve got a lot of merchandise with horror characters on them. They go really hardcore with their tastes. Oh you think Halloween is scary????? Have you heard of a movie called HEREDITARY or MIDSOMMAR? Elliot DIES for disturbing shit— and the more fucked up it is and gorier the BETTER. Analog horror is their favorite genre, though they admit some of its materials are a little bit overused.

Has super curly hair but combs it out to put it back in a braid. Their real hair is something more like Merida from Brave, but they hate being compared to it all the time so they decide to leave it behind. Needless to say, Merida is his least favorite Disney princess because of this fact.

Owns 3 snakes, all ball pythons. Their names are Ripley, Elton and Lucy. They are his BABIES AND IF ANYONE HURTS THEM—

Has an amazing singing voice. Like no joke. If Elliot was brave (or drunk) enough to do karaoke he’d blow eVERyOnE away. I like to imagine their voice being really dynamic, but for the most part, her voice sounds like the singer from Florence and the machine or Belle.

Can draw but hasn’t done so in years. They specialize in drawing dragons and animals, but they never really got the hang of drawing humans (those fucking hANDS—). They don’t mention it because no one ever asks but I feel like Ryuga or some other blader saw her drawing like a beast and was like ‘can you draw me something?’ To which they might say yes, if they like said person.

Very much a nerd in the pop culture sense. She’s intelligent, but she doesn’t like to flaunt it, but when you’re talking about D&D he is THERE and READY to make characters. This has happened on more than one occasion— mainly to Kyoya because he’s the only one who actually really likes the idea and wants to try it out— however that doesn’t keep them from trying to connect to people through references and quotes.

Their favorite animal is a manatee. No further explanation.

He is on the autism/neurodivergent spectrum so they’ve always struggled with making friends. They don’t have many as a result but of the few he does have they’re the world to them. Their loyalty knows no bounds and they would sacrifice themselves to save their friends.

Enjoys being around animals more than people— LOVES sea life but is terrified of swimming in open water where they can’t see. If you take them to an aquarium or zoo they will explode with joy.

This bean can swim like the devil. His backstroke is INSANE. Everybody jokes about how she’s half fish because she spends so much time in the water. Used to compete in swimming leagues when she was younger, but sadly had to drop it due to personal reasons.

Very comfortable in cold weather. It could be so cold in their room that you could see their breath, and they would just be like ‘ah, perfect for sleeping’. However this is good for them because that means that they get to wear sweaters all the time, thus being the resident human heater

Made their beyblade themselves, took about a year plus to get everything to work correctly.

Has considerable Norse and Scandinavian roots, has their one Bunad (this is like a traditional celebration dress or garments) and has rune stones that they know how to read, though they do not do it often as fortune telling with runes are only used in times of dire need. Almost everybody will assume he’s Irish or Scottish because of the red hair, and this is probably one of their worst pet peeves. They hate it when people assume his nationality.

Works for the WBBA as a medical assistant for when the Bladers get injured during battles. They worked as an MA in Norway before they got recommended by one of the main Bladers for helping them out when they were badly injured. Then they immigrated over and they’ve worked there ever since.

I alot of people would get along with Elliot, but I feel like Elliot would really hang with Ryuga, Tsubasa, Or Kyoya the most since they see them so often during their work. They would probably come in for patching up at least twice a week.

Elliot is a mom friend, but more in the way of a grandma. They love you, but most of the time they’re too tired to stop you from making dumb decisions. Will warn you once and then help you afterwards with bandaging your wounds.

Are definitely the type of character that is very kind, but if you fuck with their friends they will turn into a Dark Souls Boss to whoop the ever loving SHIT out of some bitch.

That’s all I can think for now, but this is essentially what his personality is.

[lokidokeyartichoki]

Excuse me, what?? You fought a huge python???? You can't just drop that in the tags and not explain how that happened

Lmaoooo I forget not all of you were here in 2015.

This all happened in the very exotic area of the northern suburbs of Chicago. I used to pet sit for a guy who owned a reptile roadshow, and he had like 2 black throat monitor lizards, a few ball pythons, a couple of boa constrictors, a sulcata tortoise, some more lizards and snakes, a tarantula, a snapping turtle and an African millipede. Anyway, I got to feed the smaller animals because they needed to be fed more often but the Burmese python (pictured above) and the adult monitor lizard were fed before he left every time.

They’re all show animals, so they were trained that they were only getting food in their enclosures to minimize incidents at shows. I misunderstood the directions to mist the python’s moss bed and stuck my hand and squeeze bottle into the Burmese’s enclosure.

At the time I had two small dogs and I wasn’t a familiar smell so I don’t blame the snake at all, but it struck my left hand and threw coils around my arm. The snake constricted and let me tell you that thing was 80lbs of pure muscle. Pythons have four rows of teeth on the roof of their mouth and they’re all hooked back to aide in moving food down their throat. So I’m like, “fuck okay” and started pushing my hand back further into its mouth to unhook the teeth.

By the time I managed to get the snake off my arm (it was turning purple) I hadn’t figured out how I was going to close the sliding glass door and my grip weakened enough for it to turn around and bite my right wrist. Which is my dominant arm and all I can remember thinking was “oh okay I guess this is happening now” in the calmest and most resigned way possible. So now the 17ft snake has thrown coils again, is constricting my dominant arm, immobilizing a joint and I’m like “wtf did Jeff corwin and Steve Irwin teach you dumbass”. So I struggled with the snake as gently but firmly as I could until I unhooked it again from my arm. I’m talking prying a hand sized snake head off my limb with my usually useless left hand. It was all in all a 20 minute fight that ended with me getting the snake off and quickly locking the enclosure.

(I did not realize it at the time but if I had stood up and tried to use gravity to get the snake off or moved it out of the enclosure so I had more room I could easily have died if it decided to throw coils and constrict my chest. But that comes into play later.)

ANYWAY, I then wash all my puncture wounds out with antibacterial soap and call my mom who was hysterical and told me to go to the ER. There’s nothing quite like showing up to the ER in a suburb like “yeah I got bit by a very large nonvenomous snake 😔” and they’re like “?????” So all my punctures get washed out with saline and then they take X-rays to make sure no teeth broke off inside my arms.

The funny bit, the funniest part of this whole thing was I was in an intensive out patient group therapy program at the time. Imagine your new patient of like 2 weeks suddenly walks into group one Thursday morning with their forearms and hands all professionally wrapped up with gauze and shit. They were all like “did you self harm” and I was all “no I got bit by a 17ft 80lb snake” and they were like “we haven’t heard that before but we need to unwrap them to verify”. But I was like “Peggy you don’t understand if you unwrap them I can’t wrap them up again and the doctors told me to keep them covered” but Peggy was like “I need to make sure you didn’t cut or self harm” so she unwrapped my arms and was very surprised to find out I had, in fact, been attacked by a large snake instead of lying about it.

Anyway, I then found out that I’m more terrified of open communication and conversation about relationships than possibly dying fighting a snake so I learned a lot about myself that week lmao.

[wibble-wobbegong]

Can I have some Micheal headcanons pretty please 🤸‍♂️

number one headcanon: he can and will be a fan of system of the down bc it’s literally autism metal with specific critique of the us government. Literally him but metal

because of this drawing will made, i like to think he and will’s favorite movie as younger kids was monty python and the holy grail!! the way will drew the man being eaten is pretty similar to the black knight from the movie after he loses his limbs

idk it has the type of stupid humor i think they’d love, plus all the fantasy elements.

i feel like they would also both pretend to gag and throw up whenever the house of virgins scenes started because ewwwwww girls have cooties 😝 and they watch it when they’re older but instead of gagging like little kids they make fun of the clear over exaggerations and stereotypes. neither of them could imagine any of the women in their lives being like that

i think mike can draw a little bit. he’s by no means Will Byers but i think he’s been doing little sketches in the margins of his notebooks his whole life so he was bound to learn how to draw some things. he can’t do crazy dynamic stuff, but he’s got a stupid cartoon orc he draws all over the place and he tried to copy different comic book art styles for fun sometimes so he’s got a unique little doodle style. when he gets really into one of his worlds while writing and can’t think of a way to describe a certain thing, he tries to do a mini sketch of it at the top right of the notebook paper so he can envision it a little more easily

SPEAKING OF he totally spent like 30 minutes trying to master the skater S to impress will (he’s known how to do it for months and hasn’t told mike)

he color codes his class materials and gets pissed when anyone disagrees with the colors he assigned to each class. lucas said english was yellow and he didn’t talk to him for like 3 days (they still passed notes during chemistry when lucas needed help with the math or mike couldn’t remember a chemical formula)

he has physical files he keeps of his friends, like reference notes and concerns and reminders, and they all sit under his bed. if you ask him this is Completely Normal behavior

when he and will move out to the city, he finds out he loves the ballroom scene. he never participates because he would trip and fall if he tried to do anything those people do but he adopts the flashiness into his style a little bit, kinda like how he sucked a little bit of eddie into his new look. like kirby. anyway i think he flares things up a little when he moves out to the city with bracelets and long shirts with flares at the wrists and his rhinestone belt over jeans and boots he got for $5 and they have a two inch heel to make him even taller. i don’t know anything about fashion but i think he adopts some ballroom flair into his look in the 90’s

he gets the heart+crown tattooed over the scar he got trying to sacrifice himself to save will

hates beer but drinks it as a teenager anyway if it’s an option, but as he gets older and into his more “fuck it we ball” attitude he learns that he REALLY likes mimosas and just any kind of wine

shockingly good at table tennis. He should not be good at table tennis the way he plays but he Is and it’s Weird

he can do the thing with your finger where you bend it to make it looks like it’s broken and he used it as a kid to make dustin feel a little better about his own stuff

HAAAAAATES shrimp. Absolutely despises it.

whenever he revisits hawkins he lays a flower down on the field for bob, barb, and eddie and tells them he hopes they’re doing okay wherever they are. sometimes he holds eddie’s flower a little longer and thanks him for all his help and talks about his latest dnd campaign or date plans with will (he likes to think eddie would be proud that he finally accepted it and even managed to win will’s heart back)

👍👍👍👍

[cedobols]

please please please work this has to be seen it’s the origin source of multiple seb infos + news alert as well as previous knowledge that he talks about his own balls a lot seb also talks about other driver’s balls a lot I’m. Wha. What. I can’t fester alone help meeee:

If I link it the ask won’t work but- Ah wHAT It’s literally gone from results Oh No!! Well if I find it again I’ll send another ask but it had dated entries of Spanish and English f1 articles circa 2013. I just searched a quote from this article to find it:

By Adam Hay-Nicholls 10 October 13

Sebastian Vettel is just 26 years old, yet in less than four years he's won three world titles and is staring down a fourth. He's won more races than anyone else on the current grid, and is only behind Michael Schumacher, Alain Prost and Ayrton Senna in the all-time standings. Scary thing is, he's still got at least ten years' shelf life to go. Schumacher was 43 when he finally called it quits.

Now, I favour underdogs in sport, and therefore this prodigal success is a massive turn off. Still, it doesn't fully explain why the Red Bull driver keeps getting booed by the crowd.

Vettel's eight wins so far this season mean the results are predictable, and any race where the German tears off into the lead through the first corner - i.e most of them - is making a lot of people get up off the couch, make the tea, make some more tea, and then return in time to see Vettel wave his index finger at the cameras, signifying that he's number one.

That's the most annoying thing about Vettel. That, and his screeching "Yes! Yes! And yes again!" over the radio as he crosses the finish line. It's not that it's arrogant, it's that it's forced. Which is strange, because Vettel is actually one of the most genuine drivers in an environment where many are out of touch with reality (Exhibit A: Lewis Hamilton).

I've known Vettel since he was 16. I warmed to him because he enjoyed the Beatles, Led Zeppelin, and British comedy shows like Fawlty Towers andMonty Python, to which he'd been introduced while living in Northampton in the junior formulae. He had more maturity than his years but could also be extremely childish. One time in Barcelona he gave me a lift from the circuit to the airport in his BMW, paused at a motorway tollbooth and said something in Spanish that made the coin collector burst out laughing. What had he said? "I told him I have a small penis!"

Vettel's language skills are well documented. He has a habit of using the F-word in press conferences, and likes to discuss other drivers' testicles. He's the Lenny Bruce of F1.

Well, sort of. He was actually incredibly shy around the ladies when he first came on the scene. At 19, his debut year in F1, he attended a Red Bull party in Sao Paulo, wearing a black turtleneck and looking like he'd stepped out of a Milk Tray ad. He had his eye on some girl who was there but he was so nervous about approaching her that his trainer and I had to physically drag him over. Not long afterwards, having won his first grand prix, a reporter asked him if it was the best day of his life. He replied: "You obviously weren't there [on the night] when I lost my virginity". I reckon I probably was.

It's at odds with the man Vettel is most commonly compared to, due to nationality as much as his sleep-inducing dominance of the sport: Michael Schumacher. After all, the first thing Schumacher did when he arrived in F1 was set about stealing another driver's girlfriend.

Schumacher and Fernando Alonso were, like Vettel, once seen as pantomime villains due to their ruthlessness, but that's what it takes to be a winner at this level and don't expect them to be a bag of laughs when they lose. "Schumi", in particular, was a shockingly bad sportsman - and utterly humourless.

The biggest blot on the comparatively charismatic Vettel's copybook was the Malaysian Grand Prix this year, when he ignored team orders to snatch victory from Mark Webber. It was ungentlemanly, but Schumacher, Alonso, Prost and Senna would all have done the same.

They were the bad boys of F1 in their younger days, but once they passed into legend they became hugely popular. Senna, by virtue of death, is sainted.

Perhaps the reason for Vettel's unpopularity is his precocious youth, and the jealousy of others. After all those risky moves and bold performances, people expect to see more wrinkles.

Adam Hay-Nicholls is the Formula One correspondent for Metro. Follow him on twitter@AdamHayNicholls (http://www.twitter.com/AdamHayNicholls)

http://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/comment/articles/2013-10/10/f1-sebastian-vettel-results

ok im going to very likely destroy the dash but i think this calls for it

anon. first of all: FFUUCCUUCKCCKKCKEWKKFDF

second of all: wow i need to lay down! so i knew about the virgin portion of this excerpt thanks to tumblr user hakkinen who knew my heart would stop beating but still sent it to me anyway. actually may have written a uh... fic about that night but involving mark bc i mean its ME

but i did not ...know about.... seb's affinity for discussing other driver's balls. thats really something huh. ud think with how often he talks abt their balls he'd accidentally slip in a dick comment right i mean theyre right next to each toher

i also didnt know he lived in northampton and that it was there he discovered his love for british comedy!!!!! thats so cute!!!!! i want to hear stories about him living in england....please please please i know he got up to so much shit .

what really caught my attention was adam saying seb is the lenny bruce of f1 ... oh he reminds you of a comedian known for covering satire, sex and vulgarity in his routine? is that so?

may i include some quotes i found interesting and familiar

"In May 1945, after a comedic performance for his shipmates in which he was dressed in drag, his commanding officers became upset. He defiantly convinced his ship's medical officer that he was experiencing homosexual urges."

"Many of Bruce's later routines reflected his meticulous schooling at the hands of Ancis.[18] According to Bruce's biographer Albert Goldman, Ancis's humor involved stream-of-consciousness sexual fantasies and references to jazz."

adam saying seb can behave childish while still being mature. so true bestie u can say that again! the only time seb has lied to us is when he said he didn't like cats . so im gonna go ahead and take his little spanish interaction as fact thank you very much.

may i add: that last paragraph is mwah mwah mwah 

hats off to u anon. this is exactly what we all need this week. thank you for showing me the whole article bc id never read it . and wow!!!! lots to think about! will be thinking for a long time!

[feralaot]

random scouts hcs!

I did a post like this for the warriors my beloved (here) and people seemed to like it so here's one for the scouts :) had some input from @afrival for this one luv u

no warnings I think

eren

if he had twitter he would have a vaporwave bart simpson profile picture and tweet lil peep lyrics. also uses way too many hashtags

he's scared of snakes and hates armin's ball python

his eyes are probably crusty as hell and mikasa has to wipe em for him because he won't

when he's losing an argument he goes "ooh you wanna kiss me so bad" and it always escalates things but he doesn't stop

almost exclusively wears american eagle

"what's a pronoun".mp3

uses the 💯 emoji in every other text message he sends

armin

sends his friends pictures of cats cuddling/hanging out and says "me n you <3"

genuinely can't stand when people have dirt under their fingernails. he gets so mad at eren bc his nails are dirty asf and armin forces him to clean them

he calls himself sexy a lot (e.g. "that was really sexy of me")

chews on bottle caps then is like hmm why do my teeth hurt

he hates feet. toes look weird to him. nobody in his house is allowed to take their socks off

unironically uses faces like ^-^ and :3

acne :(

mikasa

she's really bad at giving advice. don't go to her for help she'll literally be like "that's tough"

probably has like 4 instagram accounts made just to follow eren

solid black profile picture and no bio

maybe now and then she'll put a my chemical romance quote on her story but that's about it, she doesn't respond to dms or anything

doesn't wash that damn scarf so it's probably stinky

sticks staples, pins, etc through the tips of her fingers for no reason other than she likes freaking people out

probably hisses at people

jean

the only possible relationship dynamic somebody can have with him is rivals to lovers

very short social fuse and has to stay home for several days after public events bc it's just exhausting

he's an introvert adopted by extroverts (connie and sasha) and has to deal with their shenanigans. truly the mom figure between the three of them

marco has to listen to him ranting about connie and sasha's foolery and doesn't have much advice to offer bc he doesn't know either

for a long time he only knew "straight" and "gay" and when he found out about the concept of bisexuality his mind almost imploded

he sighs and yawns a lot and doesn't even realize he does it. people always think he's either annoyed or tired

probably dresses like a diet e-boy. crewneck king

connie

the kind of kid in your high school gym class that wears mismatching neon clothes. bonus points if it's nike

also the most likely to start a food fight for funsies

he doesn't yell often because his voice cracks when he does and it's embarrassing

sasha and him hate cafeteria food so he always brings an ungodly amount of food in his backpack instead to share with sasha. connie's backpack is 90% food

unironically says things like "pogchamp" and "rad"

he works at zumiez and probably lives there. always rocking their latest drip

jumps up and slaps exit signs

sasha

randomly breaks into song (usually disney songs) and connie will automatically duet

manages to fall asleep in any situation. on buses, while watching movies, sometimes even mid conversation if she's zoned out enough

tried to take armin fishing one time but he almost cried because he felt so bad about it

at least reiner will fish with her though. the himbos always come through

her instagram is all pictures of fish she caught and now and then there's an awkward candid pic of niccolo

stayed overnight in a walmart one time and got away and brags about it but she won't admit it was an accident. panicked and spent the night eating snacks off the shelves to "survive"

while she's talking her voice slowly gets louder and louder and she doesn't realize it until people tell her to stop yelling

historia

pulls people by the ears to bring them down to her level

also kicks people in the shins a lot, if she's arguing with someone they'll usually keep their distance to avoid getting shin kicked

loves climbing on ymir's back and just being carried around like the little creature she is

posts inspirational quotes on her story

would definitely be a cheerleader in high school. nobody would guess a prep like her is dating some grunge girl w a pretty much opposite personality

she always has bandaids with her for some reason. if someone gets scraped she'll whip out a bandaid immediately. her friends call her "mom" sometimes

hates grilled cheese so god damn much. can't stand it

ymir

"damn I don't remember asking".mp3

is always the first one to comment on historia's instagram posts. her comments range from "beautiful my queen!!!" to "damn ma yo ass fat"

she always called reiner gay as a joke then he came out as gay and for a while she thought it was her fault

her and reiner have wlw and mlm solidarity, they're bffs for that matter

if someone tells her that her music is too loud she'll say "huh?" and turn it up

similarly if someone scolds her for something she'll go "hm? repeat that, I'm a little deaf in this ear"

"bro stfu you always tell me you're gonna fire me for being late"

levi

really really hates cooking pasta because straining the water is for some reason more difficult than it should be

"do not underestimate me, bitches"

always refuses to get his hair cut at places in shopping centers. especially walmart great clips

makes monkey noises when he sees something he likes. he started doing this as a joke to mock zeke but it evolved and now he can't stop doing it randomly

will not hesitate to knock someone on their ass if they're talking shit

coffee makes him jittery so he drinks tea instead but won't admit to anyone that he lowkey also has a redbull addiction

hange calls him a catboy but he doesn't know what that means so he's always like "yeah" bc he thinks it means he's a cat person

hange

buys levi shoes from the kids section and doesnt tell him bc he likes them anyway

such a millennial, they say shit like "doggo" and "adulting"

"for practical reasons I don't exist. do not perceive me"

probably wants to marry mothman

levi has had to scold them on several different occasions for bringing live animals into the house

legally isn't allowed to cook bc they can and they will blow something up

goes on tipsy rants almost nightly

erwin

white skechers king

hosts barbecues in those white skechers. he talks shit about people with nile and pyxis like a bunch of gossiping middle aged fath- wait

his profile pictures on social media are probably pictures of himself taken from awkward angles with an empty expression. it's always posted like six times as well

when levi is getting Out Of Hand he'll pick him up from under the arms and carry him away like "okay, that's enough" and levi kicks around but can't escape

rubs his hands together a lot like a fly. nobody knows why he does it. what are you scheming

falls asleep on couches while watching sports games

[swinging his keys around his finger] "let's rock and roll"

[phaticserpent]

Ultron hc ask here! I really really love your writing! However i can just never picture Ultron having a human companion with his hatred and such, but what about a pet companion? Like a cat or dog! I personally think he'd be a bird guy (so he can teach them to talk and say snarky remarks and fly around little tools for him in their little talons 🥺) maybe some headcanons for that? <3

I get where you're coming from! However, I think his dislike was specifically geared to the Avengers and not people in general :0 but this is a cute headcanon, I hope you like it!

Ultron thought he could handle the Isolation, but he often found himself yearning comfort and company

Sometimes he would venture out to a park, sit where he would be hard to spot and just watch nature

He would listen to the birds sing, the water running, look at the fishes, sometimes hold out his arm for frogs or lizards

Deers would often slowly stalk towards him if he stayed still

This convinced him to get a pet, however he couldn't just waltz into a pet store

He took the time to research different pets and animals. Unfortunately, they don't ship dogs or cats

Ultron decided to start small, fishes/bearded dragons

He would help them accommodate into their new habits and hopefully bond with them

"Hm, I do get why humans find animals cute." Ultron smiled

The water from the tank helped him calm down, especially when he was up working on his projects

As to how he would get dogs or cats? One time, Ultron was scavenging for parts when he noticed a box. He peered inside to see a batch of cats/dogs

Obviously, he brought them home to research what breeds they were and what they needed

So, he ordered dog/cat foods

I can definitely see him liking reptiles like snakes, usually dogs or cats like to lick their owners to show affection and it might be hard if they try to lick Ultron

He found ball pythons oddly adorable

"How can people hate these creatures? How can people abandon dogs/cats? The cruelty and inhumanity."

Sometimes he would let the ball python roam all over his body, it was a strange sensation yet comforting

"I wish I could feel your soft fur." He would sigh, the dog or cat just tilted their head at him. "I bet my metal hand doesn't feel too good."

Ultron then starts to feel pity and guilt, dogs needed to be walked and Ultron can't be seen walking around. So he anonymously sends them to a no-kill animal shelter

Cats were more calm and lax, they didn't have to be walked and maintained cat litter was somewhat easy

They did tend to scratch everything, but luckily Ultron was metal. Unluckily, it made a very nasty sound that the other animals were stressed out about

So he quickly got cat towers for them to scratch to their heart's content and patched himself up

"Don't you dare knock that off!"

*CLANG*

"Oh for fucks sake."

He loves them and the mischief they cause, it keeps him busy and he missed that type of feeling

Ultron would definitely name his cats depending on their attitude, but before that they were all "baby, baby one, baby two, baby three–"

He taught his bearded dragon how to fetch for stuff

Sometimes there were the occasional bug intruders, so he sets his bearded dragon free (of course researching beforehand)

If the bug is harmful to the bearded dragon, he captures it and releases it

He wonders if he should get a bird and researches the different types

"Don't these things crap on something shiny?"

He doesn't want to take the chance of dealing with that, plus he would feel bad if they spent majority of their lives in a cage.....since his entire lab is filled with shiny metal parts

[candy-floss-crazy]

There are some weird funfair foods available at funfairs around the world. Some of them quite interesting and possibly viable in the UK. Others just plain strange. Many of our offerings such as Candy Floss Carts or Corn Dogs can trace their heritage back to the USA. So we are always on the lookout for new lines Stateside. Here are a selection of our favourite Stateside offerings ; The Texans actually won an award for this one, proving just about anything can be deep fried. Kansas State Fair's frozen pickle brine. I bet this one is super sour. One enterprising vendor added grilled python to his offerings when he heard California's State Fair was demanding more adventurous food offerings. Only in Florida. A cheeseburger with deep fried ice cream. Mains and dessert all in one. From the State of Ohio, what is it with Americans and heart attack inducing food. Called a muddy pie, it is fried bacon coated in chocolate. Alabama make their attempt at clogging your arteries with this concoction. A hamburger served between two Krispy Kreme doughnuts. Illinois offer this, alligator on a stick. So you can visit the State Fair's alligator show, then eat the stars. Take a bow Oregon, with their entry, deep fried road kill. We aren't sure if it is actual road kill, or just the name, but we wouldn't put anything past those crazy Yanks. Another entry from the Golden State. Chocolate covered Scorpions. I suppose if you have a local resource you might as well make use of it. South Carolina's answer to the texas deep fried beer. They inject balls of fried dough with Pepsi syrup, dust them in sugar and add more syrup as a topping. Is there anything the Americans won't deep fry? San Diego offered up your favourite coffee brand fried into doughballs. The Calgary Stampede saw the introduction of the $100 hot dog. Yep, that's right, a whole $100 for a foot long dog. WTF, I hear you ask, how does a hot dog get to be $100. Well, it might be the use of Kobe beef. A high end Japanese delicacy. Or perhaps the Louis XIII brandy that the beef is soaked in (that's about £2500 a bottle). And the truffle and lobster topping doesn't help in keeping the price down. So whilst we will keep an eye on the weird funfair foods available across the pond, I can't see us actually using any of the current offerings. If you fancy something more sensible, say hot dog cart hire then get in touch. Read the full article

[tenthgrove]

Hello! Can I request La Squadra with a new teammate that's a reptile enthusiast? Talks constantly about reptiles, keeps turtles, tortoises, lizards, snakes, etc. as pets. Probably keeps 2 huge ball pythons named Linguine and Fettucine, and teammate constantly walks around the base with one or both loosely wrapped around their arms or neck.

La Squadra with a Reptile Enthusiast

La Squadra x Reader, Platonic/Romantic (Interpretable), SFW

Formaggio- He finds reptiles totally neat, and he loves that you’ve brought them here. The snakes are his favourite, because he’s fascinated with how they eat and is morbidly intrigued about whether they could ingest a human. Secretly, he sometimes hopes for an intruder to break in so he could put that theory to the test. (You tell him that Ball Pythons aren’t actually dangerous to humans and he’s very disappointed). Just… please… whatever you do, don’t leave the snakes around his cats. Even if it’s mostly irrational he does worry about them sometimes.

Illuso- Likes the fact that, unlike with Formaggio’s cats, he can hold your pets without getting fur all over his precious clothes. He thinks your pets make him look cool and likes them for the aesthetic, so you’ll be surprised how amicable the usually standoffish man is to your reptiles. He names half of them himself before he realises you’ve already got names for them, and continues to get mixed up between your names and his own.

Prosciutto- When you first move in, Prosciutto hates the fact you had to bring all your pets with you. You waste so much of your time dealing with them, and surely it’s making you less efficient as an assassin. Prosciutto is hardly a fan of the wriggly things themselves either. What changes things is simple exposure. Prosciutto can only be mad about something for so long. He particularly comes to tolerate your turtles- they’re very well-behaved creatures and the rest of your squad could really learn from them.

Pesci- Is kind of terrified at first because he’s heard that snakes are dangerous, but once he’s assured that nothing you own is dangerous to anyone over the age of 1, he calms down. Reptiles are strange to him because he’s never really seen many in person, but he’ll watch them curiously to observe how they move. Sometimes he’ll touch them nervously before stumbling back again. He might be shy at first, but it doesn’t take Pesci long to come around. He’s also more than happy to hear you talk about your pets, since the chance to talk about anything that isn’t murder is a relief to him.

Melone- Don’t ask him why, but snakes give Melone a bad case of Déjà vu. It’s almost like a memory from another universe… Anyway, Melone is definitely the sort to have an affinity for unconventional pets, so he loves all your little scale babies unconditionally. You’ll often catch him giving the turtles a little kiss on their noses. He really can’t help himself on that front. The second you move in, Melone is researching everything about reptile care since things like that really fascinate him, so he’ll be a surprisingly good choice for babysitting your pets when you’re away.

Ghiaccio- Very much prefers reptiles to pets like dogs, cats or birds since there’s less chance of sudden loud noises which knaw at Ghiaccio’s sensory issues. He’s very surprised when he finds out how many you own, and that surprise might come off as judgement, but really, he doesn’t mind at all. His favourites are the lizards. He likes to feed them just to watch them. He loves the way their little eyes roll.

Risotto- Your capo can certainly admire your guts in keeping such creatures, as well as the effort you put into caring for them. He has a particular bond with your pythons, and one day you walked in on him lying down next to them like a child and petting their scales. He got up in a start and nothing more was said of it, but you know what you saw. Nobody else knows how he manages not to flinch whenever one of them slivers off your shoulder and onto his. Risotto simply smiles, and gives the python a little scratch on it’s forehead before resuming whatever he was doing. He’ll even do his office work like that. TLDR, Linguine and Fettucine are Risotto’s daughters now and you’ll just have to live with that fact.

Sorbet and Gelato- Gelato has a confession to make, he really likes reptiles too. He just loves their goofy little faces and the texture of their skin. His favourites are lizards because he loves their little zoomies. Sorbet, though not as entrenched as Gelato, also has an affinity for the creatures. They are quieter than most pets, which he can certainly approve of. It also helps that he’s one of the few bitches in this house with any semblance of executive function, so he’s probably your best bet for taking on cleaning duties when you’re away on a mission. Just… do prepare yourself. You may come home to find the eccentric couple feeding your pets… well, human meat. They just wanted to know what would happen.

[ani-also-ashton]

Hulu’s taking off Kamisama Kiss soon so here’s me reacting to it X3 - Part 3

Season one, Episode Four

that hug always fricken gets me ToT

*the episode starts off with people freaking out over a harmless snake* *disapproving reptile enthusiast noises*

Nanami: “white snakes are said to be messengers of the gods, you guys are risking divine retribution.” You tell ‘em girl!!

my girl Nanami be both matchmaking and advocating for humane wildlife treatment *wipes tear*

I swear this episode is the reason Imma pay $400 someday for a BEL ball python XDDD

lmao I love the juxtaposition from Nanami simply wondering about her arm to “THE GOD IS   K I D N A P P E D”—-

and of course my boi be making a five star meal for best girl TwT

damn this is making me realize how attractive good cooking is—

and of course Tomoe goes straight from slandering Nanami to inspecting her arm—

Tomoe is all “pffst! You think I truly care for you outside my familiar duties, even in the sligh– what is that come here give me your arm I need to help you”—

bruh how does Tomoe know about the marital mark of snakes so well?? Is there something you aren’t telling us Tomoe—

oh snap and then he acting jealous mmhmm he know too well 'bout this—

I can’t tell if he’s more mad at the snake or at Nanami—

Tomoe all “I need to rescue Nanami or I’ll lose my reputation” mhmm there isn’t  a n y other reason you wanna keep her safe—

ahahah and now Tomoe’s all “it’s amazing how many dramatic scenarios you humans can create” after reading her manga, okay pot calling the kettle black–

teacher: “this is our transfer student, Tomoe Mikage” OMG HE USED IT AS HIS LAST NAME MY  H E A R T—-

*Nanami’s classmates crowding around Tomoe* OOP now she the jealous one—

NOT TOMOE RECITING THE NAMES OF  A L L  HER CLASSMATES—

NOT TOMOE CALLING NANAMI HIS 'MISTRESS" IN FRONT OF THEM——

ahh but such a wholesome studying scene after uwu

dammnn and then a sick burn on Mizuki from his own goddess ouch—

ok,,,,, and I mean this in the nicest way possible,,,,,, but those shrine spirits look like Kirishima—

DAWW AND THEY’RE JUST SO EXCITED TO MEET NANAMI TwT

*Nanami thinking of Tomoe’s promise to protect her* “……he lied” ASDUSDHSADHHFISUHDSKHFSHFKASFHKDK—

Nanami: Do you know Tomoe?

Mizuki: I’ve known him for a lot longer than you have…

👀  👀  👀

omfg I can FEEL Mizuki’s heart breaking when Nanami gently pushes him away—

I mean he was being invasive so I get it bUT STILL—

…okay nevermind he’s officially being a creep—

and AWWW SHIT,  THE BOI’S HERE—

mizuki’s face literally went D:

*inhale*

THE   H U U U U U U U U U U U G G G G G G G G G G G G

Tomoe: “you’re safe now, thank goodness…” Nanami, teary eyed: “…. you’re late"—

HHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGG—–

damn Tomoe be dealing with the same fox slandering from Zootopia wtf—

oh shit Tomoe be burning Mizuki both literally and figuratively—

WOAH JESUS CALM DOWN BOI—

aw damn a sad dramatic flashback U_U

OMFG THE TREE D:

Mizuki, smiling: “It’s the most precious thing I own because she loved it…” …..damn onions—-

AWWW AND NANAMI GENTLY TELLS TOMOE TO STOP,,, BEST GIRL—-

……and I have nothing else to say that last scene was a masterpeice and I loved it 💯💯💯

okay so I know I just said in the last post I didn’t know when I’d be able to keep these up …….. but I wanted to do just a couple more XDD This is probably gonna be the last one for now, but don’t be surprised if the next one pops up real soon. Tysm for reading!!! :)

(also this is a repost to fix some spelling mistakes lmao X3)