#one of these is obviously funniest btw

[batsplat]

back 2 regularly scheduled casey + vale text posts (8/?)

[darkcircles4lyfe]

framing this and hanging it in my office etc etc

[pickaropoprocks]

Day 47!! Chiikawa!!

[dolokhoded]

simon peter is the funniest apostle to work with because in theory he's the most loyal, most by-the-book of the apostles so you'd expect him to be the most logical and collected one but 80% of his concerns (pre crucifixion then everything went downhill and they all died) are that he has a crush on every person he encounters

[ham1lton]

NOT A CHILL GIRL.

pairings: lewis hamilton x chronically online fiancée!yn

faceclaim: jordana brewster

summary: chronically online, funniest on the grid, and the proud owner of a face card that never declines—at least, according to yourself. your fiancé might raise an eyebrow at the first claim, the world might debate the second, but no one’s arguing with the third.

warnings: just jokes. don’t take any of this seriously.

author’s note: hope u enjoy bunny anon! :D

— small smau spinoff !

────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────

liked by lewishamilton, yourinstagram and 187,938 others.

ham1ltonshaderoom: celebrity stylist, and fiancée of f1 legend lewis hamilton, yn yln took to instagram stories to share some concerning posts. what do we think about these captions, ham1ltons?

view all 23,837 comments

yourinstagram MAMA I MADE IT

— user1 yn you have dressed some of the top celebrities and this is what you’re excited over??

— user2 forget that. she’s fucking LEWIS HAMILTON!!! and this is what she’s excited over???

user3 this is a v tame post for yn LMFAO

— user4 like she’s posted worse 😭

user5 she’s so unserious i’m obsessed

— user6 my fav wag

user7 i love the fact she’s dressing zendaya, showing up to her hot fiancé’s races and still finds time to shitpost

— user8 she’s so me

user9 she should be embarrassed. she’s grown

— user10 she will never see this btw

user11 i need to know lewis’ thoughts on these posts

user12 she’s the moment. i want to be her so bad.

— user13 successful in her own right AND secured the bag. #needtoBEthat

────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────

────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────

INSTAGRAM LIVE

yn i’m using lewis’ ninja creami to make slushies and sydney isn’t picking up her phone because she’s on set. so entertain me, my little gladiators.

user1 what flavour slushie are you making and why is it pure tequila

yn no. it’s a margarita mix. mostly anyways. all about balance babes.

user2 worst red carpet outfit request you’ve ever gotten?

yn girl some actor asked me to dress him up in head to toe camo… i wanted to be sick.

user3 yn, when’s the wedding? lewis is literally ready to propose again.

yn not until jungkook confirms he’s off the market. i need to know i’m not leaving options on the table.

user4 did you see lando’s post underneath your birthday post to lewis.

yn i did and i’m angry. how dare he be funnier than me on my own shitpost.

user5 who’s better at gift-giving, you or lewis?

yn me. obviously. lewis once got me a pen because “it looked sleek.” it was a nice pen, but still a pen.

user6 yn, if you could style anyone in history, who would it be?

yn harry styles but in 2012. imagine the chaos if he let me near those blazers.

user7 how did you guys meet?

yn via a mutual friend at a party. i thought his choice of shoes was disastrous and he thought i was funny. so obviously i went home with him that night. then i fell in love or whatever.

user8 you are literally the blueprint for chaotic but lovable. never change.

yn never will, little gladiator. never will.

────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────

────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────

liked by yourinstagram, thirstystan1 and 1,098,125 others.

lewishamilton: sunday best, thank you theststyle

view all 19,827 comments

yourinstagram why won’t this damn app swipe RIGHT?!?!?

— lewishamilton wrong app sweetheart

— yourinstagram oh shit 😓 can you show me how to download the right one? ever since ashley madison shut down and farmersonly.com banned me for “unsolicited flirting,” it’s been tough out here.

— lewishamilton maybe try clownsonly.com—heard they’re taking new members.

— yourinstagram wow. this from the guy who once googled “how to impress a bad bitch” and got caught.

— lewishamilton a bad bitch was impressed, wasn’t she? checkmate.

— yourinstagram yeah, well, don’t get used to it. also, happy valentine’s, loser. 💖

— lewishamilton happy valentine’s, clown. ❤️

— user1 y’all are some weirdos 😭🩷

user2 YN GIVE HIM TO MEEEEEE

user3 #NEEDTHAT

— yourinstagram #TOOBAD

— user3 YN PLEASE 😭😭😭😭😭😭

user4 need this relationship NOW

────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────

────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────

— all works taglist: @luvsforme @yelenasloverrrrr @donttouchthegnote @chelle1306 @bloodyymaryy @km-23mr @stinkyjax @f1kenzzz @ctrlyomomma @aliciaablueprint @theblueblub @namgification @tallrock35 @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @ariellovelynn @shhhchriss @lifeless-firefly @xylinasdiary @evie-119 @itseightbeats @landososcar @velentine @m1892 @blushmimi @evans-dejong @nixisracing @lethalvenus @sainzluvrr @santanasaintmendes @idontknowlmaoo @sainzluvrr @tetetoni @ssprayberrythings @heavy-vettel @tashisgf @daniskywalkersolo @c-losur3 @lestappenslover @linoscrly (see yourself tagged when you don’t wanna be? or you want to be and don’t see yourself? send me an ask!)

────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────

[juicebuck]

the funniest thing ever to me would be buddie getting married platonically and then realising they're in love. because like, they would have done premarital everything—premarital marriage, premarital raising a child together, premarital divorce—EXCEPT premarital sex 😭😭😭😭😭 this would turn them on so much in a multitude of ways btw. it is super hot to them that they have only ever had married sex, obviously. because they're so horny for domesticity and marriage it's honestly quite embarrassing. but also sometimes they roleplay as themselves but years ago. so they can have premarital sex. at one point during the premarital sex roleplay buck's like, maybe we should get divorced so we can do it for real. and eddie's like, we could do divorced sex at the same time. and buck's like, god i love you, will you marry me? after our divorce i mean. and eddie's like, yeah baby. and they both come so hard.

[cityofmeliora]

Secondo lied about being able to speak Swedish, and Terzo lied about *not* being able to speak Swedish

this is honestly one of the funniest things i've noticed in the Ghost lore 😂

when Secondo performed live in Sweden, he would speak some broken / mispronounced Swedish words and phrases on stage.

at Terzo's very first concert, he called out Secondo for lying. Secondo couldn't actually speak Swedish. he was just trolling, and Terzo thought that was a stupid prank. unlike his brother, Terzo admitted he did not speak Swedish, and he asserted he would not troll the audience by attempting to speak Swedish on stage. he re-iterated this several times at concerts in Sweden.

PAPA EMERITUS III: My imbecile brother has somehow fooled you into thinking he can speak some fucking Swedish– pidgin Swedish. No more of that! I do not speak Swedish, OK? Linköping, Sweden (June 3, 2015) via Youtube and Instagram

PAPA EMERITUS III: How are you doing? It's nice to see so many of you here. What has it been, a little over a year? My brother told me about you. And you do know that I'm not gonna trick you with any fucking pidgin Swedish, huh? I know he fooled you into believing he could talk. He sounded like a fucking asshole. Stockholm, Sweden (November 13, 2015)

... except Terzo was also totally lying because later in the same concert in Stockholm, Terzo yells at the audience in fluent Swedish.

PAPA EMERITUS III: FATTA DET HÄR FÖR HELVETE! Stockholm, Sweden (November 13, 2015)

"FATTA DET HÄR FÖR HELVETE!" translates to something like "UNDERSTAND THIS, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!"

Terzo was so bad at maintaining this lie about not speaking Swedish. he continually insisted that he could not speak Swedish, but he also kept demonstrating that not only was he a fluent Swedish speaker, he was very familiar with the culture.

PAPA EMERITUS III: Good evening. How do you do? Alright, let me get this straight to you now: Despite the band being a Swedish band, I don’t speak Swedish, OK? But I can try. You wanna hear me try? You know, we got some awards which we are very thankful for, obviously. So I can say, “Jag är kåt, glad, och tacksam.” And I can say, “Plopp.” “Kexchoklad.” Bandit Rock Awards 2016 (January 19, 2016)

“Jag är kåt, glad, och tacksam.” means "I am horny, happy, and thankful."

"Plopp" and "Kexchoklad" are the names of two Swedish chocolate candies.

PAPA EMERITUS III: I know for a fact that here in Skåne you like your potatoes, huh? Spettekaka. How fitting, because this song we’re gonna do right now does have a culinary theme that you might like. Malmö, Sweden (February 25, 2016)

Skåne is the county of Sweden where this concert was performed.

Spettekaka is a Swedish dessert.

unless they're already very familiar with Swedish, an English speaker wouldn't know how to pronounce most of these words correctly, and Terzo does.

obviously, this is all because TF is Swedish and had trouble staying in character. but the lore implications are hilarious for Terzo HAHAHA. he loves to lie and he's so bad at it.

(BTW i actually don't speak Swedish! if you are a fluent speaker, feel free to correct my translations!)

[zhoras-bitch]

Inspired by the recent reddit post, but referencing the discussion in general.

The male MC discourse in RC is stupid, and I'm tired of pretending otherwise. I am a girl who usually likes to play as a girl in my games and I hope I can keep playing as a girl in the future--here, I can say it without gatekeeping an entire genre and starting a freaking gender war.

First and foremost, why are we acting like visual novels are a limited resource that we need to fight men for, less they 'overtake' it with male MCs? If the target audience for the game grows to include more men, that just means more paying customers -> more different books. Or, more likely, they can make separate games that are targeted at men from the beginning, which you won't have to ever interact with if you don't want to.

When this conversation comes up, people always try to give some big ideological reason why RC has to be for girls. Usually they'll bring up how games (by which they always mean high-profile PC action FPS or RPG games) used to only have male protagonists, until finally Choices and RC (mobile romantic visual novels) came around, and I just have to laugh at that. These are obviously such different genres targeted at entirely separate audiences that barely intersect. RC did not solve the problem of female representation in gaming. That would be like saying that lack of female superheroes in 2010s Marvel is solved because female led romcoms exist. Come on now.

And the funniest thing is that the 'threat' of men overtaking RC is non-existent, really. RC will continue to make mostly female led stories, for the same reasons mainstream games in 2000s and 2010s continued to make male led ones--structural sexism and gender stereotypes. Games were 'for boys', so girls didn't play them and companies didn't market them to girls, reinforcing the cycle further. Now it's 'romance games are for girls', so that's who RC caters--and will continue to cater to--until men stop thinking that 'girly things are gay and cringe'. All you are doing by yelling at men to get out of 'women's spaces' is upholding this status quo. (Also I cannot with people calling a fandom or a hobby 'women's space', but that's a whole other story.)

The reality of how many people (not just men btw) are actually genuinely interested in reading a RC book with an MMC is clearly reflected in the fact that out of 47 books in RC, a total of 1 (one) has a male MC. And it didn't cause men to take over RC or the fandom to fall apart or whatever.

I've been in this fandom for a while, and I've only seen a handful of guys coming out to say that while they like the app already (otherwise they wouldn't be here, duh), they'd enjoy playing as dude once in a while. And no matter how nice they are about this, someone will always go 'Boo, this game isn't for you, go play Call of Duty!' and I just. What are we doing here. 

This is not the guy who mocked you for saying you'd like to play as a girl in the Witcher. Nor is it the guy who had a meltdown over there being 'too many women in video games'. Those types are not playing RC, never have and never will. They would not touch RC with a ten foot pole, because they are too afraid their dicks would fall off immediately from overexposure to the color pink.

When a person here comes out and says, 'I wish there were more contemporary books in RC because I like contemporary books', fantasy lovers in the comments respond with, 'Idk, I am kind of here for fantasy, I don't read contemporary books usually,' and that's the entire conversation. But replace 'contemporary books' with 'male MC books', and suddenly it's a Discourse (tm), and I'm so tired of it.

[eddiegettingshot]

yeah they could 'have buck act normal and get with Tommy' except it's a procedural drama so they wouldn't take that boring easy route. there will obviously be conflict and making one of the characters insecure is a conflict between them that can be resolved by them shutting down buddie for good and focusing on bucktommy. btw I say this as someone who likes buddie but I don't understand the blind delusion about this episode

okay i lied because this is literally the funniest thing i have ever read ever possibly now i see what you are. you are so correct actually. they must have done this to focus on bucktommy. buck is going to beg tommy to take him back for a THIRD TIME in 8x14 and say tommy please please please i SWEAR i’m not in love with eddie he’s STRAIGHT please let’s get back together i promise i don’t even care about eddie that much he’s not even that hot plus he just told me he’s moving to nashville. we can even make eddie’s house a home ❤️ and then the helicopter will explode or maybe tommy will rappel out of it to land the plane that’s crashing ❤️

[mamawasatesttube]

one of the funniest aro traits i have is that i NEVER notice people i know being romantically into each other. they can be the most obviously pining couple in the world flirting ridiculously hard right in front of me and ill just be like wow, look at us three besties all just hanging out :) and then they'll be like btw we're dating now! and ill go WHAT???? oh that was romance??? WHOA. like yay happy for you!!! i just didn't clock it at all whatsoever!!!! (part of this is that im just an affectionate person with my friends and ill happily flirt with my besties and physically lay all over them with absolutely no romantic intent. so i forget that sometimes people are flirty or always concerned with each other for romantic reasons. like. EVERY time it's just oh YEAH... i forgor again...)

anyways, i like to hand this to bart allen, aroace extraordinaire. guy who just straight up forgets romance is real and not something they made up for video games with romanceable companions. he's happy for his friends when they say they're dating someone, bc they're happy so yay! but until they come out and say it he will NOT clock any sort of romance going on.

now i also like to imagine that when the gang are all like in their late teens to early 20s, there's some RIDICULOUS lesbian drama going on. cassie and cissie have been kinda sorta dancing around each order for ages, but then after kon's death and resurrection cassie got distant and cissie and anita started spending more and more time together, and cassie isn't proud to admit it but she maaaay have gotten jealous and fucked rose about it, and now cissie is giving her the cold shoulder. and rose keeps flirting with cissie even though she and cassie keep having unplanned hookups, and anita just asked cassie to be her plus one to a wedding and cassie is shocked she didn't ask cissie and what's going on?! is anita hitting on her??? omg??? wait but what's going on with cissie?? and....

anyway, all of this to say cassie is going the fuck Through it and it's a mess that she keeps bemoaning to kon while languishing on his couch and eating all his ice cream (kon is listening wide-eyed like "wow. if i ever need romantic advice, i'll ask you and then do the exact opposite of whatever you say.") this whole ridiculous affair is going on for months.

until one day there's a core four sleepover and kon is like soooo is it the time of night where we start unpacking the latest developments in cassie's love life? and cassie goes AUURGHGHRHH!!!! yes but oh my god shut up don't say it like that auugghhhh

and bart just looks at her and tilts his head like a puppy dog and asks "wait. you have a love life?? since when???"

silence.

cassie gawks. kon looks positively gleeful.

and then tim starts laughing so hard he doubles over and accidentally slams his head into the corner of the coffee table hard enough to get a mild concussion. bart's aro swag claims yet another victim

[batsplat]

"looks at his bike longingly and wonders about consummating his revival" "life with flavour. this is the reckoning. eat it. taste it" so what DID valentino's 2008 title celebrations look like

btw at le mans 2013 some vale fans had a huge (cringey ofc) banner which went like

yzr-m1: someday my prince will come

vale badly photoshoped as a prince: sorry babe

here’s how we can tie this to rgu and the whole prince&princess theme

also remember how in rgu the movie utena turns into a car and all? well what if valentino had some weird (vaguely erotic) dreams in that vein…….

(x, x) kermit at that poster not at the ask, to be clear!! weird ass sport

anyway, let's talk more about how to apply surrealist anime rgu to motogp! and yes, again, we are kinda stripping rgu from a lot of the stuff it was Actually About, but y'know on the other hand it'd also be flattening that particular artwork if your stance is that the 'only' things the story is relevant to is like. cycles of abuse. structural patriarchy. on-screen depictions of sibling relationships designed to make you extremely uncomfortable. all that stuff. so we are taking it as read for the rest of this post that rgu deals with more serious stuff than competitive sports and work from there

the car stuff!! anthy's prince literally turns into a vehicle to allow her to escape! it ends with both of them like... intertwined on the remaining husk of that vehicle, riding off into freedom. also the car looks cool

this isn't super relevant, I was just thinking about how much fun they made that car. like they made sidepod-wings into horsies. eat your heart out, ducati

now, in the film this is basically a metaphor for growing up, right. anthy is finally breaking out of the school and embracing her revolution by quite literally freeing herself from the prison she had both been entrapped in and had continued to entrap herself in. and isn't that... isn't that basically what valentino is doing when he's leaving honda for yamaha. well, no, obviously it's nothing like that. but say that it was like that, and that essentially this is the process of growing up, coming of age, growing into his own or whatever you want to call it. self-actualisation. a spiritual journey to a different bike manufacturer. valentino does think he's like... imprisoned in honda, it's his whole theme that year, he does a cute callback when he's won the title. brno 2003 is both the prisoner celebration and where he signs for yamaha, like he's not really being subtle about this. and the only way he can fully become himself is standing on his own two feet, thrive or fail, at yamaha. because now he's no longer following the path that's been set out for him. honda was comfortable in many ways, it was a very pretty prison - even if he felt underappreciated, he was still the golden boy at The Most Successful Manufacturer, he'd inherited doohan's team, he was building up a dynasty of his own. he was leaving behind basically... a completely guaranteed title for 2004 and most likely years beyond that for something far less secure

there is a kinda. obvious point here. and it's that according to this framing, valentino is implicitly being cast in the role of the princess. and the bike is the prince, who is being ridden to safety. which fits into the idea that there's like,, a deeply possessive element, of the bike towards the rider, and that's basically the key prince trait beyond lip service commitment to 'nobility'. I think that does kinda... work, not just because the contrast with the expected gender roles makes it more interesting, but also because 'seeing a vehicle as a symbol of liberation' inherently feels like a very valentino thing. the thing about anthy is that it's always a bit unclear how much power she has over what's happening, but when you rewatch the show enough times you do increasingly go 'huh has she been psychologically tormenting all of these characters for over thirty episodes as a diversion from the horrors of existence'. and the film very much then becomes... her version of events, if you will, where her brother the devil (that guy sure keeps cropping up in these asks) has become this defanged parody of himself,, and it really becomes more about her using utena to make the final step. or something!! obviously this is only one interpretation etc etc. but idk I think there's a fun element of this dual role of 'princess' and 'witch' where you've got a character who increasingly exerts autonomy over their own narrative and plays god a little bit and can also force other characters into slightly sadistic mini-arcs where they get turned into cows and who eventually brute forces their own vision on the world. because they do have power, and they are the instigator of the entire plot

so. so. I think one of my favourite things about valentino is... okay, so I don't actually really like when athletes are that good. with both valentino and marc, I have a very begrudging attitude towards just how successful they are, because that level of dominance is extremely 'meh' to me as a sports fan. they're really the exception here as far as I'm concerned, I'm very tenuously okay with their title count but it is also A Bit Much. but the thing about valentino, right, is that he mostly gets around that bit of my brain by also seemingly have a bit of an issue with dominance. the way he progressed through the ranks to the premier class is like,, nowadays, doesn't even stand out as notable because that's Just How Feeder Series Work, but back then it wasn't as guaranteed because they weren't feeder series!! it's not necessarily like clearing a level... you can just stick around to win more than one of these titles, and valentino was seriously considering doing as much but decided to move up anyway. I think there's something fun about how he kinda needs a certain difficulty level to get his brain into it. he's flirting with depression after 2002, writing in his autobiography about how AWFUL it is that winning isn't FUN any more, does his insane little yamaha switch which somehow worked out for him, got really into his f1 flirtations until quite literally when he starts losing again... he needs a bit of drama, he needs enemies, he needs MEANING!! I think inherently he's very suited to any role that casts him as a quasi-malicious storyteller, especially one that's searching for like,, some kind of Growth and progression. and also playthings. which then regularly feeds into a set of callous behaviours towards The Competition when it's seen as necessary. or just satisfying

the way this works when you. y'know. personify the bike into the prince,, is that inherently the prince's pov on this is also quite selfish, right, like it's a saviour complex and thinking you are The One who can claim the princess as your own. the prince can keep the princess safe... who can be used by the princess/witch as a tool to bring about world revolution, and so on. the prince attempts to control the princess, and the princess is devoted to the prince. and also, they can make each other worse!! it's kind of... eventually as a duo they can become so dedicated to this sick game they're playing that basically any act is excusable as long as it helps them win. anyway crucially I do think if you did a surrealism on valentino's brain, some blue haired girl personification of the m1 rocking up to save him from his shackles and allow him to finally attain revolution by turning into a vehicle and literally carrying him to safety... does sound about right, yeah. weird erotic bike fantasies and all

[anghraine]

Speaking of the poll and the Stewards' background etc, I think the funniest part of the whole "well obviously Húrin of Emyn Arnen was of royal origin..." thing is that this is never explained in LOTR proper. So Pippin is just like, "hmm, Denethor looks a lot like Aragorn for some reason. And I feel like he has some kind of weird kinship with... Gandalf?"

And that would be a lot in itself, but it's wilder because Sam had the exact same reaction to Faramir, to the point of contrasting Faramir's wizard vibes with Elvishness as if it's something distinct from that, but there's no explanation, beyond it being some sort of maybe Númenórean thing.

Pippin at least has the advantage of Gandalf's vague explanation that Denethor has a fundamentally different background than Théoden that gives him certain powers and prestige. Tolkien's intent was for this to indicate that Gandalf doesn't know the details of Denethor's family history and doesn't really need to; he can tell Denethor is a descendant of Elros because it's just kind of written all over him and Faramir, as Gandalf sees things.

Now, it makes sense that nobody is going to get into this with hobbits because they have much more important and urgent matters at hand and there's no reason for most characters to suppose people of this unknown species would care at all, or possibly even have the context needed to get what "royal origin" has to do with "weird similarities to Gandalf." So instead the hobbits just receive these passing hints of some connection that no one bothers to clearly explain.

But the thing is, the hobbit protagonists are super enthusiastic about 1) Elves, 2) Gandalf, and most importantly, 3) elaborate genealogical charts.

Pippin would probably love an infodump about Melian and Lúthien's eldritch adventures and how Denethor and Aragorn are related to them and each other. It's just that no one in LOTR ever explains that wizards are Maiar, or what Maiar are, or that Gandalf and Sauron and the Balrog are all the same kind of being, as was Lúthien's mother, and sometimes her remote descendants still have that bit of Maia about them and it makes them strange and wizardly.

This is not a criticism of LOTR as written btw; it would not actually be interesting to most of the original audience of LOTR as a novel. But I think that in-story, the hobbits themselves would be thrilled to know that their pal Strider and the scary old Steward and, in a way, Gandalf are all related in a way that could be more or less charted out according to standard hobbit genealogical templates if they had enough paper and time.

[lobotomy-lady]

goddd this post is the funniest most out of touch with reality shit I've seen in ages. "it's increasingly harder to get these people (any woman who doesn't perfectly conform to their views on men & gender, of course) to reengage with the world" I mean they really have convinced themselves that we're a bunch of basement dwellers who don't have jobs or social lives rather than a group of mostly normal & successful women (unlike the gender fandom, who are incredibly prone to being terminally online, socially dysfunctional, mentally unstable, & overdramatic).

do you think they know that it's possible for most people to be friends with those whose views differ from their own? idk about you guys but most of my close friends/family are normie liberals & they truly don't give a shit about my politics. TRAs rly have no idea how little the average person who isn't extremely engaged in online discourse actually cares about the evil terfs huh (if they even know what the hell a "terf" is supposed to be). it is actually incredibly easy for us to fit in with society even if we DON'T go out of our way to hide our opinions, which is also incredibly easy btw-I do it at work with 0 problems. amazing how 6 years of having thes views hasn't impeded my life at all, sorry to be the one to tell you this but your weird revenge fantasies about us dying alone are very obviously a cope.

[pardonmydelays]

clancy tour, łødź 2025 - essay by pøppy

[warning: the essay is written in three parts, because i wanted to describe all three days we spent in łódź. if you only want to read about my concert experience, that's part two. feel free to just skip the first day. or read the whole thing. i don't care.]

[025 04MOON 08 - DAY ONE]

if there's one thing i'm constantly thinking about, it's definitely the clique. i've been walking around my own city in my diy sahlo folina jacket for god knows how long now, and i've never met a single person who would recognize it. well, maybe there are no clikkies in poland after all? wrong. there's more than you could ever think of. but i didn't know that, and bel didn't know either, so imagine how exciting and surprising it must have been for us to see so many of them on our train to łódź. you can tell. you can always tell, because every person has at least one piece of... well, tøp coded something? i can't really call the red tape a part of merch (or can i...?). but anyway. red tape everywhere. so imagine: a whole carriage full of clikkies and we are all on our way to see those two idiots from columbus, ohio. insane.

we arrived around noon and we still had plenty of time to waste (the concert was supposed to be tomorrow), so we obviously went to eat something and grab some coffee. in mcdonald's we saw a girl in skeleton hoodie and i will probably remember her for the rest of my life, just because every clikkie is like a family to me.

after that we decided to go to the arena to see if they have any billboards with boys there, but also, we wanted to check if what we've heard before was true: clikkies already started forming the fan line... to our surprise, over ten people were already there, and it was literally more than 24h before the concert (y'all are crazy btw). panic. panic and calculation. panic, because we had a plan, but the plan was kinda ruined now, we just didn't expect them to show up this early. calculation, because if ten people are already there and it's literally 1pm, do we still have a chance to get our wristbands around 5am tomorrow? much to think about...

so the rest of the afternoon was pretty much the most stressful event of our lives, because we were trying to relax a bit at the hotel (while watching pretty much all their music videos, because we had a tv there), but it wasn't easy. i kept refreshing twitter for any kind of information about the queue. 120 people after 7pm. again, panic. we need a new plan. we couldn't really sleep and we basically got up in the middle of the night. i checked twitter once again. somebody said people stopped showing up, so we decided to go back to sleep for one more hour. 3:50, we're at the bus stop, on our way to the arena, freezing. according to twitter, 280 people are already there. we arrived after 4am and we finally got our numbers - 318 for bel and 319 for me. we're home.

okay, now what? now we wait in the cold till 8am for the official wristbands from the team. we spent some of this time singing saturday, a few clikkies complimented our jackets, one little girl who remembered us from the train found us there and gave us friendship bracelets (bel picked sai and i picked truce, because i was singing "the sun will rise and we will try again" while waiting for the sun to finally show up, because, again, it was so damn cold that night), then somehow we formed a group of five people and we basically adopted the funniest and the most chaotic girl we've ever met. the team was late (like. two hours late), so we got our wristbands around 10am and it was time to finally go back to the hotel to get some rest, eat something and get ready for the show. we were exhausted, yeah, but it was all worth it.

[025 04MOON 09 - THE SHOW]

we came back to the arena around 4pm, all dressed up and with our new bandito friend. we actually formed the same group, all five of us, and one of our new friends was playing twenty one pilots songs on kazoo this whole time and we were supposed to guess the track. so much fun.

there is also one thing that everybody knows for sure: clikkies are the most creative and talented people on planet earth. i'm still super proud of our outfits, but i just wanted to mention that every single person looked absolutely incredible. i love you, clikkies.

so we're finally there. exhausted, but alive. and we can't believe how close we actually are. we knew our view was going to be sick, but damn, this was even better than we expected. the support band, balu brigada, was absolutely amazing. i guess i understand now why they were picked. they finished, it's quiet, now we wait.

8:45pm. "what's your eta?", we hear tyler's voice. "2 minutes!", we yell back. my stomach hurts and i'm sweating.

trust me when i tell you that you can watch thousands of livestreams of the same show and you may think you are well prepared, but the truth is, you're not ready for what's coming. hearing the first notes of overcompensate, screaming "i created this world to feel some control (...)" with the entire arena, first time seeing josh on the drums... i cannot even describe this feeling. goosebumps. tears in my eyes. head empty, just them. i'm home, i'm home, i'm home...

then all of a sudden a motherfucking cat jumps out from behind the piano. i recognize this kitty. tyler joseph. i wish i could say something entirely different about the first time i saw him that night, but my very first thought was "he's so smol, this cat" and "his dancing is even funnier in real life oh my god". i promise i'm not making fun of him, it's adorable actually.

before the show i had a dilemma: do i want to record videos or do i want to be present in the moment? turns out you can do both. multitasking at its finest. so i recorded tyler's jump and i also had so much fun seeing it with my own eyes (i was basically just holding my phone in the air, i wasn't watching the show through the screen, i was just zooming sometimes but i was mostly focused on what was happening on stage, so that's why most of the photos are blurry but some of them accidentally turned out perfect, somehow).

holding on to you. crowd stand. tyler is so close to us i can barely breathe. he's so tiny, tiny kitty with his sick microphone. and he's rapping. holding on to you is one of my favourite songs, because i'm a basic bitch. he's back on stage. hoty backflip. joshua william dun, i love you. the transition to vignette. i scream so loud, i don't even know what's happening. where do i go from here?! neil banging out the tunes. little kitty on the floor with his little cat piano. oh god. i'm home. car radio. disappearing trick. little guy clancy shows up... higher than we expected. sick dude. face reveal. tyler joseph is not bald, and thank god, he's fluffier than ever. am i really here? what is happening???

the judge. i can finally start breathing, because here's a fan video mark recorded outside the arena before the show. everybody looks amazing. it's one of my favourite parts of the show, because we are included and it's awesome. we sing the first verse of the judge, the chorus, now tyler shows up. i can finally see his face, because he took off the clancy mask. and, oh god, he's even more beautiful in real life.

the thing about me is that i was never the biggest fan of cut my lip, i like it, sure, but it's not my favourite song. however, it is my sister's favourite, so i promised her a video. and thank god i did, because i accidentally recorded everything tyler said to us. first of all, he was actually making fun of josh's outfit and the entire interaction between boys was super cute. second of all, he learned to pronounce the name of our city, and since łódź sounds very similar to "would ya (just without the a)", he had to make fun of it as well (he actually said "łódź ya? uwu" which was definitely not on my bingo card, but oh well). he also said he loves poland, but what else is new (łódź is the new columbus. just move here already).

i'm not going to post any videos here, but look at my ukulele boy.

moving on.

the craving. i already want to cry, because i absolutely love all jenna's songs. tear in my heart. super fun. i love how silly and aggressive he always gets during the bridge. backslide. everybody shut up, it's my song. bel, start recording right fucking now. the motherfucking chair. tyler joseph what the fuck are you doing. close your legs. the chorus. i want to cry. i can't believe i'm here. kinda wishing that i never did saturday. shut up tyler. again, what is he doing. the emotional ending. THE SCREAM. backslide, backslide, backslide... i wanna give him a hug and tell him it's going to be okay. actually i want to hug the song. i don't know.

shy away is super fun, thank you for the scream. heathens. you know what that means. the transition from heathens to next semester is my favourite thing in the world and i also promised bel to record next semester for her, so that's what i'm doing. the end of the song. tyler is not moving. what is going on. is this part of the lore, is he pretending to be a statue, is he posing for a photo, who the fuck knows. the song ends. bel is crying. i feel so happy, because she gets it. we're home.

routines in the night means we're slowly moving to the b stage. i still know nothing about the bomb tyler is going to drop on us later, so i just enjoy the song. we're actually far from b stage, but that's okay. routines is fun, we are vibing. the end of the song. tyler is playing the piano. he suddenly stops. some guy standing next to us yells at him: "DON'T". "i like you guys", tyler says. "i'd like to tell you something real quick", he starts. my stomach hurts. i want to throw up and i'm sweating. i know something is coming, i just don't know what, but i unlock my phone and i start recording.

nothing ever prepares you for this kind of announcement. it's fun to see it on your screen while watching livestreams, sure. but experiencing something like this live stays with you forever. "we would like to announce here in poland that we are gonna officially release the demo version of doubt". what the actual fuck. what the actual fuck. "we're gonna play it right now". what. "i'm just kidding. we're just releasing it. we don't know how to play it." oh. you think you're so funny tyler.

i can't exactly remember if the announcement was before or after the line. either way the line live sounds absolutely amazing. tyler is killing it. his voice sounds so soft i want to kill myself actually. moving on to mulberry street. the flashlight game is always super fun, but looks even better when you're actually there. mul-berry-street. sogoodtoseeyou. "alright, save your battery", tyler says. the song ends. lore time.

the amount of people who were actually surprised when they saw torchie and clancy walking to the stage side by side literally shocked me. i thought everyone saw the show at least once on a grainy livestream. anyway. when dema started burning, people were screaming "YEAH!!!", it was actually incredible. yes, burn it to the ground, boys! everybody cheered.

hearing navigating live is something so personal actually. imagine screaming your tumblr url at the top of your lungs with the entire arena. fun times. at the beginning of it tyler looks so happy. i think he's smiling. he loves the song now, we changed it for him. the bridge. i think tyler is crying, his voice is shaking. my poor baby. i love you navigating, i love you tyler joseph, i love you i love you i love you.

nico and the niners/heavydirtysoul. dema visuals are actually sick. i am so normal about the lore. hahaha. no i'm not. anyway. my blood. it was never my favourite, but i love this song now. "if you find yourself in a lion's den i'll jump right in and pull my pin... in poooooland". i love you tyler. i'm going to jump off a cliff.

the end of the song. i think i know the setlist. i think i know what's coming next. the lights go out. everything is red. tyler is just sitting on the floor. he's wearing the skeleton mask. i can feel my heart in my throat. suddenly i'm too hot, i can't breathe, i'm sweating, i want to cry. what is going on. this is not on the setlist, what is happening. what. what?!

doubt demo. oh, for fuck's sake.

this is the kind of thing that stays with you forever, like i said. this motherfucker not only announced the song here in poland, they also decided to perform it here for the first time. how am i supposed to recover from that. people died. i am people. i am very very dead right now. y'all are invited to my funeral by the way.

it's official now. doubt demo is the new polish national anthem. it is ours now. i don't make the rules.

the transition from guns for hands to lavish is something that should be illegal. but anyway. i'm emotional now. guns for hands might be one of the most important songs ever. we cry. welcome to the new way of living... stupid fucking sunglasses. capri suns spotted in the pit. jOsH iS sHiRtLeSs. tyler is sooooo happy about it, apparently. i can't blame him. bel takes the best picture of the boys i've ever seen. i record the entire song. the wedding. hashtag joshler is real. josh is throwing the boquet his t-shirt at some guy, we're gonna find him later. tyler is dancing macarena. lavish live is a gift for society. we don't deserve it. take all my money. this is the best day of my life.

ride. somebody throws four pokemon plushies on stage. they are for tommy, tyler's son. it's his birthday, so we sing happy birthday for him, but in polish. tyler is confused and he doesn't know what to do, so he's just improvising. he kicks out two of them. the other two can stay. good. now he sings with this little girl named laura (or "naura" if you wish). he compliments her shirt with ned. she says nothing. he's being adorable about it. the lore again.

the ukulele during paladin strait sounds so lovely in real life i'm actually going to pass out. i need tyler to hit me in the head. josh's vocals. what the fuck. i can't be alone, guess i never told you so... making my way towards you. the bridge. the bridge. the bridge. tyler is still singing paladin, while josh is singing bandito. i'm going to die. we're all going to die. what in the lore... josh on the platform. i cry. he's so close. i don't even pay attention to tyler anymore. they finish first part of the song. the birds are chirping. the most unexpected thing happens: the entire arena is singing leave the city and i think i'm going to die, because this was my biggest dream. all flashlights on. "in time i will leave the city, for now i will stay alive...", we keep repeating. i have tears in my eyes. i love you clikkies. we did it. this is the best thing that ever happened. what the fuck. the sound of ukulele comes back. on the ground are banditos, fighting while i find nico... the song is almost finished. so few, so proud, so emotional. hello clancy. now jumpsuit. "THE COAT", i scream.

and jumpsuit is actually insane. trench visuals? yellow petals falling from the ceiling? the motherfucking coat? the energy? this is one of my favourite songs. i take some of the best pictures i've ever taken. one of them will be my lockscreen pic. i will never change it. this is sick. what am i even doing here.

tyler is taking off the coat. midwest indigo. it's fun, we're vibing. stressed out. if stressed out has no fans, it means i'm dead etc. the visuals are sick. tyler in red beanie. bel is going insane. josh is singing too. this version is sick. what the fuck. what the fuck. what the fuck.

trees.

red circle on the fucking floor. you know what that means.

everyone always says that trees in the pit with the band is a religious experience and they are actually right. you cannot even describe it. you just have to be there. and holy fuck, i'm actually here right now. in the pit. so close to tyler and he's so pretty. what the fuck. we start to sing. i want to cry. "moooooooy death" is still alive. it makes me so happy. here we, here we, here we fucking go. tyler splashes some water on me. this will be my biggest flex for the rest of forever. the last part of the song is fucking insane. i want to record it, but i also want to fully experience it so i just hold my phone in the air and it's the most chaotic trees video you've ever seen. i can barely breathe, i'm sweating, confetti falls into my mouth and i don't know what's going on anymore, but i've never felt happier. i want to know you, i want to see, i want to say... hello.

i love you trees. i love you forever.

unfortunately that was the last song. but we managed to steal some confetti from the pit. we also found the guy in josh's t-shirt. we took the photos with the bishops outside the arena. and we were going back to the hotel during fucking snowstorm around 1am, completely exhausted. insane.

but if you think this is the end... well. does it sound like the end?

[025 04MOON 10 - THE MORNING AFTER]

here we, here we, here we fucking go... it's all i can hear in my head when i wake up.

you can't really call it post concert depression. it was different this time. it was the best day of our lives and i actually woke up happier than ever. i got to experience all of this with my best friend and not just because she wanted to go there with me, but because these boys are also her favourite band now (trust me, guys, it's different to go with someone who actually gets it).

they saved our lives in ways they will never know.

but it's not just about music. it's about community and finding the reason to stay alive.

we got matching tattoos. cøver me for me, cøvering you for bel. we showed them to this girl we met at the restaurant when we were waiting for our bus. she was sitting alone, but we invited her to sit with us. we're all one big family after all, clikkies. it's insane, because i always describe myself as the biggest introvert. but i love all of them. every single person i interacted with during those three days, you will remain forever in my heart.

and i can't help but think now: everything that happened in my life just because i decided to join this fandom, if this isn't the reason to stay alive, i don't know what is. all these friends i've made along the way, the music that helped me make sense of who i actually am, knowing that i truly belong somewhere, because in trench i'm not alone... i will cherish it forever.

we've made it this far, kid. thank you for reading my thoughts. thank you for being my friend. thank you, thank you, thank you.

it's a cycle. now let's stay alive long enough to experience this again. and again and again.

⊬

[meteortrails]

btw I do think one of the funniest options with kakashi is to have him be upset about the concept of child soldiers, but have his perspective of what counts as a child soldier be completely skewed LMAO. he is FIRMLY against child soldiers - no killing until their baby teeth are all out!! obviously his childhood was fucked up, you should be waiting until AFTER potty training to start real weapons training, duh. as far as he’s concerned team 7 were all at just about the right age to start learning about the horrors of war. like I just don’t feel like we’re making enough of a meal out of the fact that his frame of reference for ‘exposed to violence at too young of an age’ is fighting in a war while he still had all his baby teeth and people joining the ninja black ops before hitting puberty

[cloudcountry]

Aur naur requests are open!

Can I request Vil,Leona and Azul (separate) with a fem!reader s/o reading a horror novel and they ask what she's reading and she explains in great detail the terrifying disturbing things in the novel. I'm reading the novel Misery and I'd recommend it. It's a great horror novel!

SUMMARY: Their S/O describes something morbid from a book they're reading.

WARNINGS: Death (Azul, Vil.) Torture (Vil.) and Murder (Azul.)

COMMENTS: i pulled out my own horror novels for this (and some really freaky history shit. i'm going to talk about the bloody countess btw)

ALSO IF YOU CATCH WHAT IM REFERENCING IN LEONA'S I LOVE YOU

i took vil's in a different direction because i was inspired so yeah

When Leona asked you what you were reading, he didn’t expect you to absolutely light up. You scoot close to him and place the book on his thigh, and Leona decides to humor you even if he was trying to nap.

“One of the characters is running for their life right now.” you say, giggling like it’s the funniest thing in the world, “There’s this creature that he’s hallucinating due to a goopy thing that got injected into him on a bridge—no I’m not going to explain so don’t ask—and it leaves goopy footprints everywhere. It goes from just standing there to running after him and when he looks back there are handprints on the ground too. It’s so creepy to think of something bounding after him that he can’t even see!”

Leona pauses to soak in the information you just dumped on him before groaning. If that’s what you’re into, he’s not going to judge. Just as long as you stop giggling so he can sleep.

When Azul asks you what you’re reading, it’s a simple attempt at small talk. He rests his arm on the booth you’re sitting at and leans over your shoulder, curious.

“This is a good part,” you beam, scooting over in the booth so he can sit down, “This guy just got killed and his corpse is all bloated. It’s like water has been forced under his skin and filled up his lungs as he gargled for mercy...his mouth is still open and everything too, and it's like his jaw has been stretched by all his screaming. His limbs are all twisted up and his eyes are rolled back and oh, don’t worry about it!! He was shitty and I hated him. He deserved it!”

Azul blinks, slowly processing everything you just told him. Ah, so that’s what you like to read. Very interesting, however morbid it may be. Perhaps you should talk to Jade, no? He would find this just as fascinating as you.

When Vil asks you what you’re reading, he does it as a way to start a conversation with you. You seem very intrigued by what you’re reading, scribbling down notes on a separate sheet of paper.

“It’s a biography on the Queen of Hearts.” you explain, not looking up from your paper, “I read a lot of novels about women who killed back in my world, so I wanted to compare her to them since she executed her citizens without much consideration for their lives. See, the Bloody Countess is one of the more notable ones, torturing her servant girls by pouring honey on their bodies and letting bugs bite them in the spring. In the winter, she would pour cold water on their bodies and watch them freeze. She would also jam sharp objects under their nails and—”

Vil nods along to what you’re saying, intrigued by your train of thought. He obviously isn’t aware of what your world holds, so hearing about it in relation to his world is fascinating.