#one of whom I live with and one of whom I’ve been friends w for. many years at this point

[morgenlich]

do ppl actually talk to each other in online spaces bc I’ve never felt weird for not doing so but eddy was surprised when I said I p much talk to them and two other people and no one else

[minustwofingers]

exoplanet p.1

masterlist

ellie williams x fem! reader (ur kind of a girly girl in this one sorry)

summary: you’re one of the luckiest people in the world as one of the few families that managed to gain entrance to the most exclusive safezone on earth. after living 19 years of your life in a soft and forgiving world, a lab accident sends you across the country to jackson, wyoming, entirely unprepared and unaware of what awaits you in the real world. its a good thing u run into a hot lesbian wink wink nudge nudge

a/n: now listen now hear me out i know this plot sounds kooky asf and im sorry i literally thought this shit up in a covid fever dream. but anyway i basically blacked out at the keyboard and have about 6k words to show for this weekend and no completed hw. i can’t believe im writing. this im so sorry

warnings: ellie is mean asf at first, reader is clueless and cannot do a pushup, you’re also a little bit of a snob and have a fixation on etiquette.  i promise it gets better just bear w me lMAO. she/her pronouns for the reader, v vanilla violence and explicit language. kinda enemies to lovers vibe

im so sorry u guys idk what got into me this is the goofiest au i’ve ever written ok but i just want ellie to get to learn abt the stars and shit after all she’s been thru she deserves it ok enjoy part 2 coming whenever i finish it.

wc: 6k

It wasn’t that you didn’t know that something bad had happened to the rest of the world. You did. Of course you did. You’d have to be a special kind of stupid to not realize that there was maybe something else going on when no one was allowed outside of the walls and anyone who returned told hushed stories of decimated buildings and piles of corpses.

It was just difficult to grasp the idea of the world you knew no longer existing outside the bounds of the city. To anyone before the pandemic, you’re sure that you lead what seemed like a normal life for any privileged kid.

You had two parents, both of whom loved you very much. You went to an elementary school, then a middle school, and then eventually high school and university. You went shopping with your friends. You watched movies and ate shitty junk food and had first kisses and went on ice cream dates. You studied what captivated your interest the most—space—and threw your soul into learning about the physics of the universe.

You laid on your dorm bed, playing with the edges of your pink comforter as you gossiped with your roommate, Irena, about the professor that she thought was hot and the boy who tried to harass you for your number after you’d finished up getting lunch.

You lived a normal life, which is pretty ironic, because the only reason you got to say that was because you were born to not-normal people who had been at the right place at the right time when the world fell apart.

You see, when everyone got sick, some areas got hit harder than others. And your parents, who were vacationing in some swanky exclusive Canadian resort that only the elite knew about, happened to hit the jackpot.

Not only was their vacation spot the one area in North America with a significant metropolitan population that managed to get enough time to adequately prepare, they happened to be traveling with some big-wig execs that knew a guy who knew a guy who was in the process of evacuating and putting the final touches on a safe zone, Terranova, intended for only the highest rungs of North American society.

So, there you were. Some 25 years or so after the world as your ancestors knew it fell to shit—and you were sipping cappuccinos and getting facials without a care in the world. All because of a lucky vacation.

And, for the record, it’s not that you were ungrateful. You knew that you were lucky to be living in the last place on earth with a semblance of normalcy. What you didn’t know, however, was just how lucky you were, and you didn’t find this out until you made that one stupid mistake in Gunther’s lab.

~

“Morning, Y/N!” called out Professor Gunther, a short, squatty man with a receding hairline so impressive that his forehead now ended halfway up his scalp.

“Morning, Professor,” you said, setting your bag down on the desk, winding your long scarf from around your neck and running a hand through your hair to get the tangles out. The wind outside had been especially fierce for February, which was not ideal given that you'd forgotten your hat at home.

“Guess what I’ve got?” Gunther was smiling, his teeth perfect white squares.

You gasped. “No. It’s already here?”

He said nothing; instead, he pushed forward a slightly battered box with dents and various smudges and marks that were telltale indicators for outside shipments.

“No way,” you said, pulling it into your hands. For a moment you debated using your nails to open the seam, but you’d just gotten them done, so you reached for a pair of scissors on the table.

“This is even more than we need,” you told Gunther, reaching in to pull out a spool of wire that shimmered under the lab lights. “Can I just hook it up now? Or is there something else I should do?”

There was, in fact, something that you should’ve done before going with your pliers and wire. Something about your model wasn’t quite right, but you’d figure that out a little too late.

You see, you and old Professor Gunther were attempting to build a prototype that would enable travel at the speed of light. It did sound insane—and you should’ve known that it was a pipe dream—but you were a space nerd with nearly limitless funding and support from one of the most famous surviving professors in the world. It had been Gunther’s pet project, one that you joined as a research assistant in your first year at the university. Once you’d caught wind of it, you couldn’t stay away, and you two quickly began to form a connection only understood by lonely and isolated academics.

“Go for it,” said Gunther, waving his hand dismissively.

Excitedly, you approached the table, your hands almost shaking as you held the wire. It was a fairly new invention, first used in the creation of Terranova and its walls to effectively make it invisible to the outside world. It boasted a variety of properties that made it academically fascinating and functionally useful. Gunther had had a suspicion that it would be useful in stabilizing the process of disseminating atoms to make light speed travel possible, so you’d placed the order for a couple of spools.

“And I think that’s it,” you said, using your pliers to shape the blunt edge that you had just clipped and plugging it into the circuit board. A purple sheen seemed to vibrate around the bundle of wires and boxes.

Gunther leaned over your shoulder, peering at everything through the spectacles perched on his pudgy nose. “Well done, dear. Say, before we turn this thing on and start running some preliminary tests, would you mind grabbing us some tea from the caf? My treat.”

“Of course,” you said, standing up and brushing your hands off. “Lapsang?”

He nodded. “And anything you’d like.”

You pulled my scarf back on, pulling it snugly around your neck and snatching your bag from the table. The walk to the cafeteria was short, but it was cold enough to require suiting up again. You ordered, paid with Gunther’s card, and sat quietly as you watched the snow fall outside.

It was a beautiful morning. The wind had died down, leaving the snow to fall from the gray skies in fat, puffy flakes. The city outside was quiet, with only the gentle hum of the occasional car to break the silence.

“Y/N! A Lapsang Souchong and a Jasmine Green?”

You leapt up and grabbed the two disposable cups, smiling widely at the barista. “Hey, would you mind throwing a bag of coffee in too?”

“Anything specific?” he asked.

“I don’t know anything about coffee,” you admitted. “Anything that isn’t decaf. It’s for my roommate.”

He nodded and rang you up for the coffee, and you were back on your way.

“My dear!” boomed Gunther when you came back, throwing the lab door open and nearly floating off the ground in excitement.

“Lapsang with a spot of honey, as always,” you said, passing the cup into his hands. The bite from the heat slowly faded from your palm—the barista had forgotten to put a sleeve on his cup.

“Lovely,” he said, setting it down next to you. “I’m just going to go ahead and flip the switch…keep your wits about you! Haha.”

“Ha,” you said, though suddenly you were getting more nervous. The longer you looked at the wires, the less sense they made. And was that two uncovered wires touching? ”Hey, wait, actually—”

Click.

A hum filled the room as the power flicked on. The bright white overhead lights flickered once, twice, and then went out. Something that smelled suspiciously like smoke filled the room.

“Fuck!” Gunther fumbled for the switch. You, similarly, lunged forward to see if you could manually disconnect the wires from the input. “It’s short circ—”

As soon as you made contact with the input wire, you heard the sound of a cup tipping over seconds before the splashing of hot tea.

Then everything went black.

~

When you awoke, it was because you were shaking so hard that your teeth were clicking painfully together.

Slowly, you pulled open my eyelids to see a brilliantly blue sky without a cloud in sight, wide and unimpeded by any skyscrapers. This was definitely not Gunther’s lab.

You groaned as feeling began to return to your body, along with a thudding headache and soreness in every joint. Gently, you pressed your weight into your fingers and slowly sat yourself up, making observations as you went.

You were not dead. Your heart was still beating and your nerves still functioned as usual. You had no idea how long you'd been lying on the ground, but it had to have been at least an hour given that the sun was almost in the middle of the sky.

Another observation: you were nowhere near Terranova.

Instead, you were in the clearing of a forest, surrounded by trees with unfamiliar trunk patterns and leaves. A thick bed of white snow coated everything in sight except for you.

You were well and truly fucked. There was nowhere even remotely nearby the city that you knew was in a fully forested area.

Though at least now you held the title of the first person alive to travel at light speed. It was a small comfort, but it was something to cling to.

A shriek sounded behind you, and you spun around, still seated on the ground. The forest line was clear, but you could hear rustling. For a moment you considered that it could be an animal, but it didn’t sound like any woodland creature. It sounded unmistakably human.

“Hello?” you called out.

The shriek came again, accompanied by more crunching—both much closer this time.

“Are you alright?” you asked, hoping your voice would carry to whoever it was. “Are you hurt?”

A mangled man suddenly came into sight as he fell into the clearing from a lopsided sprint, barreling right towards you. One of his knees was bent outwards as he went, so badly it looked broken, but it wasn’t enough to slow him down as he ran towards you.

You screamed, a real and proper one that pierced the frigid air. There was no time for to run as the man closed the gap and rammed into you, his filthy hands gripping your arms through your heavy jacket as his snapping teeth and rancid breath lunged for your neck.

Bang!

A single shot rang out. The man fell limp, slumping on top of you as you frantically snapped into motion and scrambled out from under him.

“Who the fuck are you?”

You whipped back around to see a girl standing at the other side of the clearing, a revolver in her hand and an incredibly cross expression etched into her features. She must’ve been around your age, and she had short auburn hair that barely brushed her shoulders and was being tossed about by the wind. There was a spattering of freckles across her face, muted against the backdrop of her cheeks reddened from exertion.

“Hi,” you said, your voice small and pathetic. You couldn’t stop shaking. “I’m Y/N.”

The girl just stared at you for a few more beats before turning back. “Jesse! Dina! Some help?”

You pulled your knees into your chest as you waited for whatever was to come. Now that the man was off of you, you could see that there was blood trickling from his gaping maw. Something that looked almost like shards had sprouted, like little spring buds, in little areas around his face. Even his normal, unshard-ed skin was a pallor that looked like death. Something wasn’t right here.

“Okay,” said the girl, gruffer this time. “Listen, I don’t know who the fuck you think you are just waltzing in like this, but this isn’t open to the public, alright? You’re trespassing.”

“Sorry,” you said, shrinking further into yourself as you thumbed the edges of your scarf. “I didn’t know.”

“Get the hell out of here,” she said, grabbing your backpack from the ground near her feet and throwing it at you.

Two other people emerged from the trees, another girl and one guy. They all seemed roughly the same age—early 20s, maybe—and were all carrying various weapons ranging from guns to knives.

To say you were on edge would be the understatement of the century.

They spoke in hushed tones as they approached the first girl.

“I don’t understand,” the other girl said, long black locks escaping from her ponytail. “We literally just patrolled this area. There’s no way to get here without either going through the town or going over the pass, and no one’s done that.”

“And you’re sure you didn’t see her then?” The boy looked curiously at you.

“Fucking obviously,” snapped the first girl. “I think we would’ve noticed.” Then, directed at you: “Hey. How’d you even wind up here?”

“Uh….” Your mouth became dry. “Where am I again?”

The girl rolled her eyes. “You’re telling me you don’t even know?”

“Ellie,” warned the other girl. “Maybe she’s been out here for a while. Hypothermia can make you think crazy things.”

“She doesn’t look like she’s been out here for long,” pointed out the first girl, presumably Ellie.

“You’re right outside Jackson,” said the other girl helpfully.

“How close am I to Terranova?”

“The fuck is Terra-whatta?” Ellie frowned at you.

“Where I live,” you said. “I—I’m a student there. I was working on a project and something went wrong and then all of a sudden I woke up here and—what is that thing?” You gestured frantically at the limp body of the man beside you, the shock slowly subsiding as reality set in. “He almost killed me!”

Ellie gaped at you along with her two friends. “What do you mean, what is that thing? Have you never seen a runner before?”

“A runner?” You stared back. “These things are normal enough for you to have a name for them?”

“Oh my god,” said Ellie, pinching the bridge of her nose between her fingers. “Have you, like, never been outside before?”

“No,” you said, honestly. “I’ve never left the city walls.”

“We have got to take her back with us,” said the other girl.

“Dina.” Ellie scowled. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Dina’s right,” said the guy, finally chiming in. “We can’t just leave her out here. She doesn’t even know what a runner is. She’s gonna be killed like that.”

Ellie considered, gnawing her lip. “Fine. Consider this your lucky day, Y/N. Get up.”

The first thing you did upon reaching your feet was faint once again.

~

“I told you, Joel, we just found her like this! Lying on the ground, with nothing but her bag.”

A man said something that you couldn’t quite catch.

“Yes. I went through it. No weapons, just…weird things. Like this.”

Your eyes snapped open to see Dina rooting around in your backpack, pulling out your laptop. You were laid horizontally on a table in some warmly lit home.

“Hey!” you said. She turned around, along with a tall, buff man at her side. “Be careful with that. That has all my homework on it.”

“See?” Dina whispered. “Do you think she hit her head or something, Joel?”

Joel frowned, picking up your laptop despite your protests. “I haven’t seen one of these in…I can’t even remember how long. And I’ve never seen one this slim before. Where’d you say you got this, er…”

“Y/N,” Dina supplied.

“From my university,” you said. There was a fire that crackled somewhere behind you, and it sounded comforting. “They provide all students with laptops. That’s how we do most of our schoolwork.”

“Let me guess,” said Joel. “You from the North? A place called Terra Something?”

“That’s a real thing?” Ellie came from around the corner, standing with her arms crossed. She’d changed out of her heavy winter coat and was instead wearing a dark gray hoodie with the strings tied into a bow.

“Never been there myself,” he said. “But when I was doing supply runs back in Boston we always heard whispers of a safezone in Canada. For rich assholes who had some even richer survivalist friends. The Fireflies attempted to break in for years, but they could never find it.”

“So, like a QZ?” asked Ellie, looking genuinely curious.

“What’s a QZ?” you asked. No one acknowledged it.

“Not quite,” said Joel. “No FEDRA. With no military presence, I’m sure it was a hell of a lot cushier living there. Wasn’t it, Y/N?”

“I don’t have anything to compare it to,” you said. “But, yeah. I guess it was nice. It was just normal, I guess. Nothing extraordinary.”

“You’re wearing a cashmere scarf,” Joel pointed out. “That’s not what I’d call normal in the apocalypse.”

You blushed, pulling at the fringes of said black scarf. The fabric was thin and soft, impossibly warm against your bare neck. “It didn’t—it doesn’t feel like the apocalypse in Terranova.”

“And how’d you make it all the way out here?”

“I’m a research assistant for a professor attempting to invent travel at the speed of light,” you said. “We just hooked it up to a different wire today. It short-circuited and when my professor and I rushed to shut it off, he spilled his tea on me and the prototype. Next thing I knew, I woke up here.”

Joel blinked. “What now?”

“I know it sounds crazy,” you said, defensively pulling your knees to your chest. “But I’m telling the truth, honestly. Plus, look at me.” You let go of your scarf and held out your hands, letting the glow of the fire catch the immaculate pearl polish on your fingers. “Do I look like someone who’s traveled from Canada to wherever I am now?”

“She’s got a point,” said Dina, nodding thoughtfully. “It really must be nice where you come from to have hands like that. It doesn’t look like you’ve done a day of work in your life. Reckon you could take us back with you?”

Joel sent her a stern look. “What did you parents do to gain access to a place like that? You the daughter of the president or something?”

“No. They just got lucky,” you explained. “They were summering in Canada and happened to befriend the founders of Terranova right before outbreak day.”

“‘Summering’,” repeated Joel. “It’s been a while since I heard someone use a season as a verb. Somehow it’s not been long enough.”

You cringed.

“I’m not gonna lie, it’s a little disappointing to hear that folks like your parents are still living in the lap of luxury, even after the world ended,” said Joel. “A part of me hoped that karma would get ‘em.”

“I didn’t realize how bad it was out here,” you said defensively. “They didn’t even tell me about…what was that that tried to kill me out there? Walkers?”

“Runners,” Ellie supplied. She watched you quietly from her position leaning up against the couch.

“You ran into one?” asked Joel, another wrinkle appearing in his forehead. “Ellie, have you checked her for bites?”

Ellie’s freckled face paled as she swore. “Fuck. No, I forgot. I should’ve done it in the clearing.”

“Well, better now than never. Listen, I gotta meet up with Tommy. You check ‘er. You got a gun ready, just in case?”

“Excuse me?” you scoffed, looking thoroughly scandalized. “What do you mean, just in case?”

“I’ll be outside,” said Dina, following Joel as he left the door.

“How come it’s my job?” Ellie called after them. “No one asked me how I felt about this!”

The door banged shut in reply. She turned back to face you, her lips set into a firm line. “Fine. Take your coat off. Let’s make this quick.”

“I didn’t feel anything bite me,” you said, grabbing your knees tighter to your chest. Ellie was intimidating and scary, and you rather liked how you currently wore an extra layer of protection.

“Yeah, yeah, that’s what they all say.” She walked over to you, grabbing your scarf and unwinding it from your neck. “Shit. Is this what Joel called cashmere?”

“Yeah,” you said, watching as she stared at the fabric pooled in her hands. “It’s nothing special, really. Everyone wears them in Terranova.”

Ellie stared at you. “Can you stop saying Terranova? I swear it’s every third word that comes out of your mouth. I honestly couldn’t give a shit about whatever fantasyland you grew up in while the rest of us dealt with the real world.”

You opened your mouth, then thought better of it and closed it. It was discombobulating to hear a stranger swear so often at you.

Ellie knocked your hands from your knees and stared down at you. “Are you actually gonna make me take off everything myself? Do they have hired help to unzip your coats in Terra Novella?”

“Terranova.”

Ellie let out a sharp sigh, then lunged for the zipper near your throat.

“Okay, okay, fine,” you said, yanking yourself away and pulling your zipper down to reveal your standard lab outfit—a satiny button up shirt tucked into slacks. You pulled the rest of your puffer off, letting it drop in a pile next to you.

“So,” you said as Ellie grabbed your arm, gently rolling up the fabric of your blouse and turning your forearm back and forth, “Is this, like, a normal thing? To have deranged people in the woods attack you like that?”

“They’re not people,” she said quietly. Satisfied with your left arm, she moved to the next and let your unbuttoned sleeve fall. “Not anymore.”

“What do you mean?”

Ellie’s fingers encircled your right wrist as she fiddled with your sleeve. They were warm as they brushed across your skin, just barely touching you. “You really don’t know? I thought you at least knew about outbreak day.”

“Of course I know about outbreak day,” you said defensively. “I’m not stupid.”

Ellie arched a brow.

“They told us that it was a virus,” you added. “That it was lethal and incredibly infectious. Is that not what happened?”

“It’s not a virus, it’s a fungus,” corrected Ellie, letting go of your sleeve and stepping back as you redid the buttons at your wrist. “And it doesn’t just kill. It turns you into—into something like what you saw today. You lose your mind. The only thing that matters to you is biting everyone and spreading the infection.”

“Oh.”

“I saw you get tackled. Did your legs get scratched up at all?”

“No,” you responded, feeling thankful that you wouldn’t need to take your pants off. In that moment, literally nothing seemed more embarrassing. Your hands had begun to shake again.

“Didn’t think so.”

“If it had bitten me, would that mean that I…I would get sick too?”

“Nice going, Sherlock,” said Ellie, returning to her spot against the couch. “Really stellar reasoning skills there.”

You pulled your knees back into your chest, the gravity of the situation sinking in. All this time you’d thought it was just a virus—a measly virus that killed. That it could be anything else had never occurred to you.

“Keep shaking and I’m going to start to think that you were bitten.” She smiled thinly at you from across the room.

“I’m sorry,” you said, your teeth bouncing against each other once before you clenched your jaw. “Please cut me some slack. This is just a lot to take in. If you’ll recall, I’ve just been the first person in history to undergo atomic dissolution and reassembly. It’s a wonder I’m still alive.”

“Welcome to the club,” said Ellie, her eyes narrowed. “It’s a wonder any of us are alive.”

Your lips pressed tightly together as you sat, trying your best not to lose it at her. You’d always been brought up to be kind, to be forgiving and sweet and polite. After all, there was never any reason not to be. Terranova’s culture put a heavy emphasis on keeping the peace no matter what. Your parents rarely ever raised their voices. Your professors kindly and respectfully asked their pupils to settle down if they were too noisy, but since you were all brought up with impeccable manners, such instances were few and far between. It just wasn’t a thing to chew strangers out. Such behavior was only reserved for extraordinary situations of the like you’d never experienced. Speaking of manners…

“Thank you,” you said, finally. Yeah, you could be the bigger person.

Ellie’s gaze snapped up to you, her brow furrowed. “Huh?”

“For saving me,” you clarified, avoiding her eyes. They were uncomfortably piercing. “Sorry. I should’ve thanked you earlier. That was rude of me. And I’m also sorry for just barging in here. I promise it wasn’t on purpose. Trust me, I would do anything to be back home right now.”

“I bet you would.” Her eyes dropped briefly to your hands, unblemished and smooth as they clutched your knees. Not even a cuticle was out of place, a result of your weekly manicures and daily lotion habit.

“Sorry,” you said again, feeling heat rise in your cheeks once again. “I probably sound so insufferable and spoiled to you.”  

“Just—” She paused, frowning. “Just stop apologizing. It’s fine. It’s not your fault, or whatever.” The words seemed to pain her.

“What’s a QZ?” you asked. Now that you’d had a moment to draw in a few deep breaths, your hands were steady once again.

“Quarantine Zone,” said Ellie. “Established by what was left of the government for those of us normal people. There are a couple scattered around the country in the big cities.”

“Did you live in one? What’re they like?”

She was about to answer when the door banged open.

“Ellie!” Dina’s voice was breathless. “Joel wants me and you to go out and finish the patrol route together. She alright?”

“I’m fine,” you said quickly, hanging your legs off the table and reaching for your puffer.

“God, I fucking love that shirt,” said Dina. “Can I touch it? It looks so soft.”

You had a feeling that you would get on well with her. “Sure.”

“It’s not that soft,” said Ellie from the couch.

“Shut up, Ellie!” Dina walked over to you, grabbing the dangling fabric from your loose sleeves and letting it thread through her fingers. “Sorry about her, Y/N. She’s just like that sometimes.”

“Dina!”

Dina ignored Ellie’s protests, giving you a look full of mirth as she stepped back. “For the record, it was that soft.”

“You couldn’t wear it anywhere,” argued Ellie. “It looks ridiculous. Infected would just snag right onto the sleeves. That’s only if you didn’t get tangled up in a tree from all that loose fabric first.”

“There’s not an abundance of trees or sick fungus people in my research lab,” you said awkwardly. “So that’s not really something that crossed my mind when I got ready this morning.”

“Ha!” Dina’s eyes scrunched. “Ellie, be nice. Maybe she’ll claim us both as her long-lost sisters and get us into wherever she came from, but she’s not gonna if you keep acting like this.”

“It’s okay,” you said, shrugging. “I get it. I can’t even begin to imagine how much different your lives are out here. And, I mean, I probably could if you wanted. I’m pretty sure that all you need is a connection and a negative test for whatever the fungus is called.”

“See?” Dina gestured towards you. “Listen to her. She’s so wholesome.”

“I’d be wholesome too if I led the kind of life where I didn’t know about the infected and got to wear dumb shirts like that all day.”

Dina huffed. “Listen, Y/N, Ellie and I are gonna finish up with patrolling. I’m assuming you want to stay in Jackson until you figure everything out?”

You nodded. “If that’s alright. I don’t mean to impose.”

“We’ll talk to Maria and Tommy once we get back and see about getting you set up somewhere temporarily,” said Dina. “For now, you can just stay at Ellie’s until we finish up. Sound good?”

“Dina!” protested Ellie. “You’re just gonna leave her here unattended without even asking me?”

“What’s she gonna do? Ransack the town? With what weapon, Ellie? Her bare hands? She looks like she’d be blown over if I breathed too hard in her direction.”

You flushed. Sure, you’d never really seen much of a point of bulking up and working out when you were nothing but a student who spent all of her time goofing off with wires and telescopes, but it was humbling to have it pointed out so blatantly.

“She wouldn’t make it a day outside,” continued Dina. “I don’t think she’s stupid enough to try anything. Isn’t that right, Y/N?”

You blinked. “I mean, yeah. I’ve never spent a day without electricity and hot running water, so I’m not really clambering to leave and live in the woods.”

Ellie sighed sharply. “Fine. Cool. Whatever. Just stay where you are, okay? And don’t even think about touching anything.”

~

By the time that she returned with Joel, you were sitting at the table, 2 chapters deep into the one textbook you’d brought along with you for one of your courses.

“Glad to see the house still standing,” Joel quipped as he worked his heavy coat off his shoulders and pulled his boots off. Ellie trailed behind him, hanging up her coat and pulling off a pair of black gloves. “Ellie was concerned you’d raze the whole town.”

“I’m honored that she thinks me so capable,” you said in response, wincing as you had to dogear your textbook, your bookmarks and sticky notes tucked safely in your dorm desk far away.

Ellie sent you an irritated look before her gaze dropped to the textbook in your lap. It lingered for a moment, just long enough for you to know that she was reading the title Exoplanetary Systems.

“Tommy and Maria have decided to let you stay until you get back on your feet,” said Joel, oblivious to the hostility coming from Ellie. “There’s a cottage down the street that’ll be ready for you to move into soon. For now, you can stay with us. There’s an extra room across the hall from Ellie’s.”

“That’s too kind of you,” you said, your voice smooth and gracious after years of having your manners picked apart by your parents.  

Joel looked mildly uncomfortable. “Uh, yeah. Don’t mention it. You know how to ride a horse?”

“Yeah, a little.”

“Good,” said Joel. “Can you shoot, too?”

You stared. “Uh, shoot what?”

“A gun,” said Ellie slowly. Her arms were crossed tightly over her chest, her mouth contorted into a scowl. She did not seem overjoyed at the prospect of a new housemate.

“No,” you said. Your ears felt like they were on fire. “There’s, uh, a strict ban on guns in Terr–where I grew up. There was no reason to shoot anything.”

Joel whistled. “Well, imagine that. So maybe we won’t put you on patrol just yet. We’ll find something else for you to do. Got any other skills?”

Before you answered, Joel picked up your bag and peered inside of it. “Say, is this a bag of coffee?”

He pulled out the bag of coffee grinds that you’d picked up at the cafe.

“Yeah!” you said. “Before the, uh, accident, my professor sent me to get him tea from the cafeteria. I ended up picking those up since my roommate and I were out. You drink coffee?”

“Not much anymore,” said Joel, picking up the bag and weighing it back and forth. “It’s hard to come by out here. You have to pay an arm and a leg to get just a bit. I haven’t seen a bag like this since before the outbreak.”

“It’s yours,” you said quickly. “I don’t even really like coffee. I just drank it because my roommate would make me a cup.”

Joel shook his head and placed it back in your bag. “No, I couldn’t do that. I’d probably have to trade my whole arsenal plus a horse to get something this big.”

“Please, I insist,” you said. “It’s the least I can do. It’s just going to sit in my bag anyway. You’d appreciate it more.”

“Well…” Joel gave you a considering look. “I s’pose this could cover your work for a few weeks until either we find another job for you or Ellie teaches you to shoot.”

“Joel!” Ellie interjected. “I have my own shit to do.���

“That’s really generous of you,” you said, smiling at Joel. “But you could honestly just take the bag—no need to offer any reimbursement.”

Joel grunted and picked the bag up again, slinging it onto the counter behind him. “Maria’s never gonna believe me until she sees this. Full bag of monsoon malabar…didn’t even think they had that shit anymore…” He continued to mumble to himself as he shuffled around, opening and closing cabinets behind you.

When you looked back up, Ellie was staring again at your book, a line in her brow.

“You can borrow it, if you’d like.” You pushed the book towards her as a poor attempt to call a truce between you two. “It’s not like I actually need to do the reading anymore. I’m already missing lecture.”

You winced at the thought of getting behind in your classes. In the very likely case you weren’t getting back in the next few days, you’d probably need to take a gap semester and return in the fall, delaying your graduation date another 4 months. Your parents were going to kill you. This was going to create an unfillable hole in your resume. “Shooting a gun” and “riding horses” were not acceptable activities to explain away why you took a whole season off.

“No thanks,” said Ellie, pushing it back to you. “Keep it. I don’t want it.”

“It’s about solar systems outside of our locale,” you continued. “There’s a bunch of them. It’s actually really interesting.”

“It doesn’t really sound like it,” she said, but there was no venom behind her voice—just something that sounded like exhaustion.  

“Maybe not.” You sighed, deflated. So much for a white flag. “I guess it must seem pretty ridiculous to you.”

Ellie stood there, her arms still crossed and her frown deep. “Joel,” she said, speaking over your shoulder, “I’m going out. I’ll see you later.”

“Don’t do anything stupid,” said Joel. You could hear him bustling around in what you assumed was a kitchen, filling a kettle with water and lighting the gas top stove.

When you turned back around, Ellie was already out the door, coat slung over her arm as she shut it.

Before the door closed entirely, her eyes snapped up to meet yours like she knew you’d been watching her.

She was gone before you had the chance to lift your hand to wave goodbye.

again apologies for this if you’ve made it this far. please confiscate my laptop. part 2 coming soon (?) if u want also im not an astrophysics student im a thickheaded cs student who barely survived ap physics so im sorry if i’m doing a disservice to the academic field of astronomy idk shit about it 

[abdulraveman]

You can't tell whether a person is having a hard time or not just by your standards. Talking with Ryo Nishikido about his tv drama.

-The only thing I'd say to actor Ryo Nishikido is "Congratulations?" Welcome back?"-

As it is your first TV drama appearance in four years since becoming independent. ...... Congratulations? Welcome back? What kind of words do you feel comfortable being called?

Nishikido: Anything is fine (laughs). But it's not like it was my goal to be in a drama, so when people say 'congratulations', it might seem a bit strange. It's not a negative feeling. I am simply happy to be congratulated.

However, for me, I need to focus on how I can reach the audience, rather than being satisfied with the environment I've been provided. So the news of my performance is not the goal, but I hope that people will see my work.

I heard that you decided to appear in the film as soon as you read the script. What was the deciding factor?

Nishikido: First of all, I was happy that I was offered the role at this point in my life. I was also attracted by the script, which depicted a fascinating protagonist and her family. From the outside, the family looks very difficult..... I just said "very difficult," but I feel sorry to use such a word to describe them.

It's difficult to put into words because it's an 'almost' true story based on a real family.

Nishikido: Yes. It's not a "We have a family like this, so let's all do our best" story. For me, I just wanted to be there like a piece of the puzzle to make the drama work, without giving it a strange meaning. That's all I wanted to do.

-“A Powerful Family” are the result and what others think-

I think one of the themes of this work is not to judge other people's "happiness" or "unhappiness" based on one's own standards.

Nishikido: I think so. Nanami (the main character) lost her father when she was in junior high school, and her mother is now paralyzed in her lower body after a major life-and-death surgery, and she is also concerned about her mentally handicapped younger brother and elderly grandmother.

If I just heard that, I think I’ll want to say, "You've worked very hard," or "You did great”. But there is a part of me that thinks, "What is that all about?” I wonder if I can tell if someone is having a hard time or not by my own criteria, or if I can give them the words they want to hear. I think it is important to imagine how you would like to be treated and how you and the other person are different.

That’s right.

Nishikido: I think the Kishimoto family in the drama is a family that is looking firmly forward despite their complicated circumstances. But I think that is also a result. They are all just living their lives to the fullest to their best of their ability. When a third party like us look at them from the outside, we think they were a powerful family.

In the end, it's not about how other people categorise them. It's all about how each of us perceives things. The Kishimoto family doesn't think, "We are doing this because we want someone else to be this way".

It is up to each person to decide how they feel about the drama

Nishikido: Of course, the intention of the production is the intention of the production, so it is up to the scriptwriter and director to decide how they want to deliver the drama and what kind of feelings they want to put into it. All I can do is fulfil my role in the drama.

-Now I go straight to the hospital-

I would also like to ask about Mr Nishikido himself. You are the same age as Kosuke, the father of the Kishimoto family, whom you played, and I think you have more responsibility now that you are independent. Has your awareness of your own health care changed in any way?

Nishikido: I think it's time to take better care of my health, but I haven't managed to change my lifestyle. The only exercise I do is occasionally going golfing with friends or doing yoga at home while watching YouTube. I eat more than before, but rather than being very particular about what I eat, I've changed my mindset to eat three meals a day. I go to the hospital earlier now. Before, I used to take it lightly and think, "I don't need to go to the hospital for this," but now I go immediately if I feel something is wrong.

How about sleep?　

Nishikido: If I want to do something, I spend more time on that than on sleep. I live my life according to my desires.

That sounds like a good way to avoid unnecessary stress.

Nishikido: I sleep when I'm tired.

What is the synergy between your music career and acting?

Is there any kind of synergy between your musical activities and acting? For example, by simulating someone else's life, you get inspiration for your creation (of music).

Nishikido: No there isn’t

Instant answer!

Nishikido: I have wished I could do that, but I am not skillfull enough to do so. I've had the experience of getting ideas from films and books, or having a refresher, but I don't have that kind of experience with the films I've been in. I guess I can't look at it objectively, or it's a different thing.

I see. When I read the lyrics of your music, I got the impression that you value what you are feeling at that moment. That's why I predicted that your resolution for "family" might have increased during this shoot.

Nishikido: that’s right. I think there is something that accumulates in a latent place through participation in a work. I guess that is something that naturally accumulates when a man named Ryo Nishikido is living, right?

It means that it comes out only after you acquire it as your own language.

-I want you to remember even the most casual scenes.-

I will return to the subject of the interview again. Kosuke is a mysterious figure that appears in the play even though he is dead. Can you give us a few hints as to how he will be involved in the story?

Nishikido: Kosuke appears in some scenes where you don't know whether he is there or not, or in family reminiscences. There is also foreshadowing in the drama; for example, a scene used in the first half of the episode comes up a few episodes later, and you know that behind that smile, he was thinking about this. By watching all the episodes, you can get a sense of depth. So I hope you will remember even the most casual scenes.

Do you have any expectations for the viewers of ‘Kazokazo’?　

Nishikido: Ideally, it would be nice if I could create some time to talk about my impressions with my family. If we live far away from each other, it would be nice to make a few phone calls.

At my age, I realize that neither I nor my parents will live forever. The Fuji Cemetery, where we went on location this time, was just at the time when the cherry blossoms were at their best. While watching the cherry blossoms, I thought about my parents. I wanted to talk to them as parents about how they want to live in the future.

You think about the time you spend with your parents, don't you? Especially when you live apart from them.

Nishikido: Yes. There are things we should talk about, and I would like to ask them about wishes that can be fulfilled while they are still able to. You can only do that while they're still alive.

[jaegerisim]

Hey El! I was just wondering, are you out to people in ur life irl (like ur parents, friends, ect)? If so, what was your process of coming out to them, and how did you deal with people who were a little homophobic or even a lot? If not, do you ever think you will, and why? I’ve been in the closet irl for almost a year and a half now because of homophobic parents, so I’d really like to hear ur story 🙂

Hi nonny! Well, I’ve officially come out to my mom, my brothers, my bff, my fiancé and a couple of other close friends. They know I’m bi, but they don’t know I’m a demigirl, and honestly, they never will. I don’t feel comfortable telling them that, tbh. I don’t rlly fancy the idea of me telling them that, especially when the concept of “gender” is something pretty difficult for many Asians to grasp (at least in my experience, don’t come at me, ok? 😭😭😭😭😭)

ok so I came out to my mom one day when I was still a teen. We were talking about one of my closest friends, at the time, my mom told me the girl had very pretty eyes and I went on this ramble about all the beautiful things things the girl had. My mom was just kinda staring at me like “😯”. So I just straight up went and said “Mom, I like girls as well as boys. I’m bisexual” and my mom (who I knew wouldn’t be homophobic abt it) said “cool, now go clean the dishes! 🥰 or ur lazy ass gonna get whooped” (typical Asian mom, smh). I never told my dad cuz his family is much more conservative and my halmeoni from his side think “gay” is synonymous to “mental illness”. I think my dad kinda guessed it, he’s never said anything about it, tho. My older brother came out as pan a few years before me, when he introduced his bf. Then a few years after me, my twin came out as aroace. They preferred to come out to my dad and I preferred my mom. That’s just how shit is. U tell who u wanna tell, and if ur parents are homophobic then they can go fuck themselves tbh. u can tell whoever u want to ok, nonny? And despite what the str8 media tells u about ur parents needing to be the first to know, it doesn’t have to be like that if u don’t want to. Your friends can be the first to know and ur parents could be the last. Your parents don’t even have to know if u don’t want to.

I came out to my friends and while all of them weren’t homophobic to my face or in that moment, many of them showed their true colors with time.

When you come out, you never really know how they’re gonna react. So you gotta learn to not gaf abt their say on this bc they don’t get one. Plus, at the end of the day, this is about u not them, don’t let them twist you’re coming out into something about them. You don’t have to even tell them and if u do tell them, u r doing it for u, not them. You don’t own anyone anything.

If you wanna know, I‘ve never really learned how to deal w the homophobia and I don’t think I ever will. Homophobia, is not something u assume and it doesn’t always present itself in the same way. Sometimes it’s a comment abt how bi ppl are sluts, other times it’s “joking” comment about being able to have as many threesomes as I want, another time it can be someone straight up calling u a slur. You never know, when or how or from whom the homophobia may come and personally I can’t live with having my guard constantly up. So sometimes I fight back, other times I feel like just ignoring them and maybe a couple of times I break down and cry about it. 🤷🏻‍♀️ sometimes the most “innocent” comment can be my breaking point while some days and don’t even mind them. Honestly? I find pretty scary the fact that sometimes I realize that I have assumed receiving homophobia and slurs to a very deep level.

Anyway, nonny, I hope this ramble answered ur question! 💕🌈

[10blue10]

TNR: What Could Have Been

I decided to continue from my previous THW post and come up with a new version of The Nine Realms. This spin off show would take place a thousand years (give or take) after the events of the AU version of THW. I’ve changed the characters names but feel free to picture them as they appear in the show.

Title: Flight Club

Premise: the characters live in Canada, and their parents work for a nonprofit called DRACO - Dragon Research And Conservation Organisation. The members of this org believe dragons should be treated as wild animals - they should be studied and protected, but not ridden or trained by humans. The five teens want to ride dragons however so they start a secret ‘Flight Club’ for it.

Protagonists

Leader: Kory Kullersen

Kory is short for Hickory, which is a source of amusement for everyone except him.

He knows he’s descended from Hiccup (he took a DNA test one time) and decides that he too is going to befriend and learn to ride a Night Fury.

He ends up befriending a Night Light (M) who is mostly black with a white stripe all around its body. This is why Kory names his dragon Oreo.

As a kid he was a member of the Scouts and knows how to survive in the wilderness. Which helps when he and his friends go off ‘camping’.

His uncle Robert (who may or may not be descended from Gobber) is a mechanic and taught him how to use tools/fix machines.

He sucks at using computers. He can manage his phone but that’s it.

Lancer: Julian ‘Ian’ Feng

Ian and his big sister are adopted and have two mums. One of whom is a Canadian named April and the other is a Chinese-American named Mai.

Even though he prefers being called Ian, his sister teases him by calling him July. They both joke that a third sibling will be called Augustus.

The two of them can read and write Chinese and use it to communicate in a secret sibling code (secret to everyone except Mei, of course).

Ian bonds with a Hobblegrunt (F) he names Hob-Nob. Kory gets annoyed that his idea to name a dragon after a cookie was stolen.

Ian loves aircraft and plays on flight simulators. It’s Kory’s idea to ride dragons, but it’s Ian who figures out the best way to do that.

He and Kory have a ‘vitriolic besties’ kind of relationship. They bonded over having stupid first names but also tease each other about it.

Heart: June Feng

June is the most organised of the group. She’s fond of calling her brother and friends idiots (affectionate) and reminding them to take first aid stuff, snacks, water and to go to the toilet before they start flying around.

She’s a big history/dragons buff and loves pestering Kory about his heroic ancestor. He keeps telling her it’s really not that big a deal.

Her dragon is a Windwalker (M) she decides to name Gary, as in gharial, a species of crocodilian native to Asia that the dragon resembles.

June is very passionate about protecting dragons and will swear like a sailor, in both English and Chinese, at anyone trying to hurt them.

This contrasts nicely with her well groomed, fashionable appearance. Which also contrasts with her brother, who is kind of a slob.

Between their mums, June is closer to April than to Mei, since April is a bit more supportive of her interests whereas Mei thinks she should focus on her studies.

Big Guy: Michael ‘Mick’ Angelo Gonzalez

He has a big brother called Leonardo, a little brother called Raphael and a little sister called Donna.

In case it wasn’t obvious, his parents are big fans of TMNT. Mick…not so much. He doesn’t hate the cartoon, he just thinks his parents went a bit overboard naming their kids after the main characters.

As their strongest friend, Mick is the ‘lifter and carrier’ of the group. He likes to be useful, but wishes he wasn’t seen as just ‘the strong guy’.

Mick rides a Thunderclaw (M) he names Rhino, because he loves animals.

He’s the one who suspects the dragons aren’t merely intelligent, but full on sapient, and with Alexa’s help comes up with ways to test this hypothesis.

Mick has a crush on June and thinks she’s the prettiest girl he knows.

Smart Gal: Alexa Baker

She’s the techie of the group, and her friends like to joke that Amazon’s Alexa was named after her.

Out of all the five, Alexa is the most nervous around dragons. She is particularly anxious when it comes to the more aggressive species.

The irony is that her dragon ends up being a Changewing (F) that she names Maple.

She likes to challenge herself by sneaking past her dad, who is head of security at the research institute they’re staying at.

Her dad and Kory’s mum seem to have a thing for each other, which is super awkward, because Alexa has a crush on Kory and definitely doesn’t see him as a step-brother.

Alexa has a great love of detective stories, escape rooms and other puzzle solving games.

The Dragons

Oreo: an adventurous and stubborn male Night Light who’s father is a Light Fury and mother is a Night Fury. Oreo grew up on New Berk until he set off to explore. He meets Kory when the boy is out hiking. Oreo isn’t scared of humans, but has no interest in having a rider. Kory’s persistence pays off however and he ends up rescuing the boy from a territorial Whispering Death.

Hob-Nob: a gentle and skittish female Hobblegrunt who is caught and studied by the researchers at DRACO, to learn more about her species colour change abilities. When Ian realises how desperate she is to be free, he lets her out of her cage. In her rush to leave she accidentally snags him and carries him back to her nest. He earns her trust by freeing her and also not harming her babies.

Gary: a playful and daring male Windwalker who is rescued from poachers but left with an injured wing. He splashes June with water from his pool when she walks by. She splashes him right back and the two of them quickly become friends. When she realises that he’s lonely without his pod, June spends more time with Gary, earning his trust until he offers to let her ride on his back.

Rhino: a grumpy and tenacious male Thunderclaw who is also rescued from poachers. He was left behind by his migrating flock and needs to recover from a broken leg before he can catch up. Mick is the one who takes care of him whilst he’s recovering, and whilst Rhino takes a while to warm up to the teen, they bond eventually. Rhino then decides to stick around with Mick after that.

Maple: a mischievous and inquisitive female Changewing who turns up to explore the research facility. She sees Alexa sneaking out and follows the girl. At first Alexa is really nervous and keeps trying to shoo her away, but it’s no good. Eventually the staff catch Maple and plan to relocate her. Alexa, not wanting her new friend to be sent far away, lets her out of the cage instead.

Antagonists

The Bully: Lee ‘Buzzcut’ Burns

An old bully/ rival of Kory and Ian, he shows up in the area on holiday (supposedly) and discovers the gang are riding dragons.

He demands a dragon of his own in exchange for keeping the secret.

Lee secretly plans to use said dragon to make money.

The gang do their best to keep him from both getting a dragon to abuse and from revealing their secret club to the adults at DRACO.

The Smuggler: Damien Evans

The leader of a smuggling/poaching ring that captures and sells wild dragons to various, often illegal, zoos and menageries.

He is an enemy of the flight club members by extension of being in conflict with DRACO. However, since they’re teens he doesn’t take them seriously.

Their first encounter with him is when they rescue a baby Featherhide that he’s smuggled from Brazil, even though it’s too cold in Canada for her.

Damien is greedy and arrogant. He thinks his connections will be enough to keep him from going to prison. Kory and the others become determined to prove him wrong and put him behind bars for good.

The Bounty Hunter: Jacque ‘The Ripper’ Kennedy

He claims dragons are dangerous beasts that must be culled for the good of society and the ‘ecosystem’, despite not really caring about nature.

This is really just a thinly veiled justification for his desire to kill dragons for glory and prove how tough he is.

Jacque is convinced he is descended from the Normans, who in turn are descended from Vikings, and sees himself as ‘continuing their legacy’.

The fact that it was Vikings who fought against dragon hunters isn’t something he wants to acknowledge. He doesn’t see the original Berkians as ‘real Vikings’. His idea of ‘real Vikings’ are white supremacists.

[nexfarious]

hi! i finished binging dq recently and i wanted to share some of my thoughts bc the brainrot it has given me is literally insane like. You dont understand. i didnt want to put this probably gigantic block of text in the ao3 comments so i figured id send it here so you can decide if you want it posted or not!

back to the topic i need to put thief in a blender (said with as much affection as possible btw). theyre soo painfully realistic and have a very unique perspective on the killing game which isnt rlly explored in fanfics so im eating it up! their talent is so cool and i cant wait to see them use it more later on. i also love how despite their paranoia and distrust they are still. Kind. Like they still reached out to ryouma and it literally saved his life!!!!! btw i think not killing him off in ch2 was a really good writing choice bc i think him dying after That scene with thief would just destroy them entirely -but on the topic of ryouma! im very glad you decided to give more spotlight to characters that werent given much of it in canon (or fanon ngl). him and tsumugi are characters that im rlly interested in but the game straight up gave them next to nothing, which i guess is very usual for danganronpa but yknow. Its still disappointing

thief and saiharas relationship makes me want to use both of them as a chew toy bc theyre so. So!!!!! im literally obsessed w them. we are still pretty early in the killing game but so many of their moments are already rotating in my mind At All Times. from the detective/criminal dynamic, to how much they care abt each other (thief obviously having a soft spot for shu despite not trusting people is soooo cute i need them gone). though that one scene in ch19 (i think?) where its said that their situation wld be considered romantic if it thief didnt have a knife at his throat is Life Changing and ive been thinking abt it so much -the contrast is just so good and the scene itself is so sad. also "Maybe this really was truly Shuichi, another side reflected to all of you, gleaming in the light like shards of a prism. Maybe you couldn’t see all of the sides right now, in this moment, but what you could see was so wonderful, spots danced in the back of your eyes." is such a beautifully written paragraph but the fact that thief thought this in the middle of a trial is so hilarious to me but i still support them. sometimes you really need to admire your Friend in a life or death situation to be able to push through. I get it

ok enough of those two. i love how you take the time to explore thief's relationships w other people as well. the break up scene between them and tsumugi had me blankly staring at my screen for good 30 seconds i think. the brief thief/ouma collab was great as well. i already mentioned ryouma but he is so dear to me head in hands.......cant wait for ch3 to physically beat the shit out of me

i have more thoughts but i also think this is too long already so ill stop it here. anyways i love your writing so much and im looking forward to more of dq! take care of yourself and have a nice day/night!

hi umm . this ask destroyed me emotionally, threw me out the window and then stole my lunch money /pos

this is genuinely so so lovely to read, i can’t believe you would take the time out of your day to come and tell me what you think of my fic,,, that’s so sweet <3

thief is my little freak whom i need to microwave at the highest temperatures. i think a lot of people should be more selfish in the killing game tbh, there’s a lot of characters who are ready to throw away everything for each other, i mean even a lot of the killers have selfless motives (kirumi, kaede) which is totally fine but!!! where my selfish bitches at where are the guys who just want to survive. despite all their paranoia though, they are a good person at heart which is something i’ve always found compelling in writing them.

WHY DIDN’T RYOMA LIVE IN CANON!!! you’re telling me a major theme of the game is overcoming yourself and pushing through despite hopelessness and then you just . kill off the other guy who’s canonically suicidal? it kinda left a bad taste in my mouth tbh. “oh you have nothing left to live for? die” i love ryoma i love mugi (obviously) and they deserve better than what the game gave them

they haven’t had much time for each other because we’re not even halfway through the game but UGH thiefhara means so much to me . thief wants to keep everyone at arm’s length but is actually way too soft to go through with it because there’s a detective with pretty eyes (which is so real btw) . i cant tell you anything about the plot but let it be known that chapter three is gonna have quite a few important moments in their relationship!!!

tbh the knife scene was something i just came up with as i was writing and thought “yeah okay that would be funny” and now people seem to love it,,, good thing i love it too

thief’s friends are so incredibly important to me btw . tsumugi who just wanted to be their friend but was rejected and has turned to angie and tenko, ryoma who still doesn’t have a reason to keep going but wants to try because there is someone who cares enough to reach out, kokichi (derogatory/with love), kaede who betrayed them in thief’s mind and still haunts them - someone who broke their trust after they went out on a line for someone, kaito whom i need thief to spend more time with because honestly he deserves more scenes

i hope chapter three slam dunks you into another dimension anon (said with so much sincerity and love), we got major canon divergence incoming ^-^

ANYWAY !!! don’t ever apologise for sending me your thoughts it’s actively encouraged and motivates me to write!! if you ever have anything more to say you are more than welcome to leave a comment or another ask i promise it makes me giggle and do a little spin in my chair of evil . hope you’re doing well too anon

[wearequeer-andwearehere]

so uhhh i've been iding as a trans guy for two years and the thing is even now i haven't managed to pick a name for myself. i know i don't like my deadname but i keep going through names and even the ones i like none of them feel like they fit after a while ( and worse still there's no one to call me that irl even the few friends, all of them cishet, that i am out to use my deadname ) and i know it takes a while to find a name but (1/2)

the other day i was telling 1 of my friends about how i was thinking of trying another name ( to online friends i've tried 3 names in total, with irl ones i've kept the same one i first used ) and she said 'you can't find one you like because your deadname is your real name' and it's been bothering me so much ever since and i've always been wary of trying out new names because i don't want to bother any of my friends, most of whom bar one are all cis and it's just been bothering me a lot :( (2/2

that’s completely okay!! take your time my friend!! i have tried out so many names before settling on the one i like, i have trans friends who’ve taken months or years. dw about it my dude!! take yr time

Ohh dude I’m so sorry that’s shit 🫂 

Remember that while this situation can be shitty it’ll pass!!! I hope the day you can be yourself comes quickly <333

YO WHAT? dude that’s fucked up what the fuckkk. she sounds really shitty—bad friends aren’t friends worth having. i learnt from experience its better to be alone than hang out w people who make you feel like shit.

Bestie. Bestie. Bestie. 

You are who you are. You live in a world that’s shitty to people like you and people like me. You are trying to discover yourself, and you have a right to be and know who you are. If your friends love and support you, they will use your names and be happy to try out different ones for you, because that’s what friends do, they’re supportive.

My friends have always been happy to try diff names for me, I’ve been happy to keep up with their name changes. That’s what friends are supposed to be, be loving and supportive and there for you. If your friends aren’t, you might want to rethink who you’re friends with.

There can be two possible scenarios here. One, all your friends could be like that one girl, and might be shitty, in which case, you might wanna rethink your friends.

Second, not all of them might be like her, and your fear might have been conjured by social anxiety. That’s happened to me too, and I found out that my friends just said sure and started using my new name!!!

You are finding yourself in a world that doesn’t let you. It is your right to know and be who you are, remember that, okay? And if your friends don’t like that, then fuck em. 

[rosie-rosem]

things are rough but i push through. - the sad truth w/ rosie.

tw: suicide, death, animals, death of loved ones, depression, anxiety, cancer, self harm, school.

i feel like my life keeps falling apart.

in may, 2021 my dad passed away suddenly which was very difficult for me because i was very close with my dad. it still hurts to this day.

in october that same year, i lost one of my uncles whom i wasn’t super close with but i still loved deeply.

the beginning of December we had to put our dog down due to her being aggressive towards people after my dad passed away because she was more protective over the rest of my family.

on the last day of 2021, December 31, one of my very close friends whom i considered an older brother commited sucide. i never thought one year could be so miserable, but i was wrong.

i was so determined to have a better year, and hope for the best in 2022.

in 2022, i was still grieving from all the deaths i had gone through. i hid my feelings behind a big hoodie and mask everyday at school. nobody new the pain i was going through each day, i had no intention for anyone to know.

and in november 2022, my aunt who was like a second mom to me passed away due to cancer. i was a little less depressed before i found out about my aunt. I still am in disbelief about her death even though it was 9 months ago.

i was struggling in school for the past years because of my anxiety and depression so i escaped by getting more involved with Kpop. i’ve been a Kpop fan since 2018 but i these past few years, i’ve connected with it way more.

i have thankfully never thought about harming myself because of how much it hurt when i found out about my friend. yes, there are days i just don’t want to exist but i want to live on and experience life, even though i’m scared. (if you have thoughts of harming yourself or anything worse please reach out to someone close or a professional to get help, you are not alone. <3)

i just feel like my life is falling apart each day and i don’t know what can help. everyone thinks i’m doing okay, but i’m not.

———

however, i really enjoy writing and i love getting peoples feedback, i love that you guys have been enjoying my work! it makes me very happy!!

this is just another reminder to “not judge a book by its cover,” except in this case, it’s people because you never know what someone is hiding behind a smile or their heart.

sorry this wasn’t probably the update you were looking for, but i wanted to share, and you guys are welcome to share your story too! (if comfortable ofc)

——

that’s my story, rosie </3

[foxy-not-pirate]

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DISTRACT YOU SO THAT I CAN ATTACK YOU WHILE YOUR BACK IS TURNED.

A-Z FANDOM RELTAED QUESTIONS (YOU DON'T ALLOW LINKS): ALL OF THEM. IN OTHER WORDS: A, B, C, D, E , F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, AND Z!

Sweet baby Jesus what have I gotten myself into

Ok let’s go!

Otp: i have a special place in my heart for Lumity

a pairing I just can’t get behind: I actually don’t have one. I either really like a ship or I don’t like (at least in toh)

my very first fandom contribution was on here! I just saw people making posts that were half fic, half au and idea collaboration and just kinda. Joined in?

I have never made a crack fic

The longest I’ve ever been in a fandom might be toh, I remember reading fics right around the end of season one, but otherwise probably gravity falls

My first fandom was definitely gravity falls. I continue to love thinking about the shenanigans Pacifica and the twins could have gotten up to if they were friends earlier on when I’m bored. I prefer animated tv over live action

I don’t think tumblr has ruined any fandom for me, but I love the block button

I didn’t particularly care about any game fandoms until I saw them on tumblr, but I bought hollow knight today and I bought Stardew Valley a month or so ago and I’m having lots of fun

I feel pretty good about the people I choose to interact with in fandom, but like I said earlier, the block button is a good friend of mine

I actually did have someone I really like make a fic I wanted, but that was more a we put together an idea together and then he wrote a fic for it. (Hi, Teddy, if you’re reading this, I’m talking about you)

An irl friend of mine, @fizzywizzard, (their Christian parents found their tumblr, rest in peace) peer pressured me into watching the first anime I ever watched, so thanks dude

my favorite fandom to interact with is my single pjo mutual (hi again teddy) and their mutuals circle, whom occasionally enjoy my deranged bullshit

I know it says pick a song at random but I don’t care I think the song I do adore by Mindy Gledhill is pretty Solangelo

Invent a random au: hoo au that’s a typical uni au except that every character is a different type of nonhuman: Will is a med student vampire, Nico is a mortuary student ghost who’s been trying to pass one of the core classes for the last decade, Leo is your basic demon while Jason is your basic angel and they are studying engineering and architecture respectively, Percy is, obviously, a Mer studying marine preservation, Grover stays the same and is studying nature preservation with Percy, Piper is a Siren (which is different than a Mer) studying business, Annabeth is a harpy (she looks like an owl) and is studying architecture with Jason, Reyna is a witch studying politics, Frank is a shapeshifter studying psychology, and Hazel is a Fae studying archaeology. Hedge is a staff member who is fed up with their bullshit.

I’m going to stop here because I’ve been writing for about an hour but if you made it this far feel free to send me an ask from the list. A single letter though, or I’ll just delete it

[purplesurveys]

1656

A) What does the last text you sent say? And to whom? Anyone who still reads this already knows at this point that I hate checking my texts, so I’ll use my Messenger history instead – last message I sent was “People pt. 2 live perf!” to Angela and Reena.

B) What does the last text you recieved say? And from whom?  “Woozi also reposted” from Reena in our groupchat as a reply to Angela who was sharing that SVT Hoshi posted about People pt 2.

C) What time do you wake up most mornings?  My body clock has slightly shifted recently, waking me up at 6 AM.

D) Are you afraid of walking alone at night? Yes, I will very very rarely do so.

E) What do you do to relax at the end of a stressful day? I just immediately go on YouTube and click autoplay on any one of my favorite channels. Background noise calms me down more than anything.

F) Where did your last kiss take place and with whom?  It was with my partner at the time, right outside my house if I’m not mistaken.

G) Do/did you get into trouble a lot at school?  Never did. I never liked to make my presence known in school in general; meaning to say I didn’t get in trouble, and I never recited or asked questions either.

H) Do you enjoy your job? If unemployed, are you content being so?  I’m content and I’m continuing to learn, I’ll say that much.

I) Do you often pick up on double entendres and innuendos?  Sure.

J) Have you ever been offered drugs but declined?  I will occasionally get offered the brownie kind but have always said no.

K) Have you ever met someone who has completely altered your way of thinking?  Not met, just encountered. BTS turned my life entirely for the better starting 2021 and I’ve adopted much better and healthier ways of thinking since then.

L) Have you ever been offered drugs and accepted?  Once.

M) Tell us something weird that turns you on.  Smoking is a gross habit but people look good doing it, lmao.

N) When did someone last admit romantic or sexual feelings for you? Was the feeling mutual?  Years ago, and yep.

O) What is something you have given a lot of thought to lately?  Mostly just worrying about the Yoongi concert and wanting to make sure all 4 of us get to attend.

P) When did you last swallow your beliefs to avoid an argument or confrontation?  A few weeks ago when my mom forced me to put a jacket on because she believed my top was too ‘short.’

Q) Do you usually initiate hugs?  Depends on the person. I will only do this with close friends.

R) Are you a very affectionate person?  Only with Angela.

S) Can you roll your own cigarettes?  Nope.

T) What are you looking forward to?  My birthday, which also happens to be the same day as D-DAY drop!

U) Do you have any tattoos. Do you want any/more?  I don’t have any. I have a couple designs in mind but don’t really have any plans to act on them because...needles.

V) Are you mentally strong?  For the most part.

W) Are you physically strong?  Nah.

X) Do you think you’re a good person?  I try to be.

Y) Name one thing you wish you could change about your life right now.  I WISH ALL OF US HAD THE DAMN TICKETS

Z) What do you usually eat for breakfast?  I prepare a cup of coffee and that’s it.

[journeydb]

March 28 2022 Barcelona

Tania has been giving me massages every week for many years whenever we are here in Barcelona.  She’s a physical therapist but has struggled finding work in her field so she became a massage therapist, which she likes, but which is very physically demanding.  She has worked at hotel spas and is now working in a fitness center.  We have our own table that I bought from Javier, the physical therapist who used to visit us here at the apartment, and I always set up a spa atmosphere with soft music to relax us both.  We have become close friends over the years and I was also friends with her mother, Luisa, who died last November.

Tania is a delightful person.  She is always happy and smiling, even though she has been saddened by the loss of her mother, to whom she was devoted.  She lives with her boyfriend, Jordi, in an apartment in our neighborhood, where she also has a room for massages for her clients who visit her there.  I look forward every week to her visit and my body is in better shape because of her loving care.

We don’t watch much television but we are always watching at least one series in the evening after dinner.  When “Glee” first aired we watched it because I had seen the pilot on an airplane and was instantly captivated by it.  We watched the first four seasons but have never seen the last two seasons because it was too hard to watch it after Cory Montieth, who played Finn, our favorite character, died.  Now we have begun watching it again and I’m reading a book about the actors and how they joined the series, in Spanish.

If you have never seen “Glee” then I highly recommend you give it a look, especially if you like musical theater.  There has never been a series like “Glee” before and it was VERY successful and won many awards.  The characters are complex and endearing, the story lines are compelling, and the cast are all amazing singers and dancers.

“Glee” is about a small town high school and the glee club and its members, but it’s so much more.  We became invested emotionally with the characters and looked forward every night to finding out what was happening in their lives, as well as enjoying the musical numbers.  Now that we are watching it again it feels like “coming home” to old friends we have missed.

“Glee” explores the lives of high school students and also addresses many societal issues, including sexuality and homophobia, family relationships, racism, sexism, ableism, and bullying.  The characters are all a bit quirky and most of them are “misfits’ and have never found their “tribe” until they became members of the glee club. 

I immediately related to these kids because, even though I was a cheerleader and dancer, some of the more popular “jocks” and “beauty queens” didn’t like the fact that I was friends with some of the more academic “brainy” kids, who weren’t part of the “inner circle”, so they shunned me. 

“Glee”  speaks to those of us who were different than the “regular” kids and I could relate to that, because I’ve always had ideas which were different from many people.  That’s why I became a vegetarian and we vegetarians/vegans represent only about 2% of the population.  I think that’s another reason I love this show so much, because I empathize with the characters, especially when they are bullied and I celebrate their successes because I understand how hard they worked to overcome the challenges they faced.

The cast members of “Glee” were mostly very good friends offscreen, too.  Lea Michele, who played Rachel, and Cory Montieth became a couple early on and were still together when he died.  When the series ended most continued building their careers in the entertainment industry and stayed friends.

Unfortunately, and as is so true in real life, there was a lot of tragedy for this group of friends. 

 In 2013 Cory Montieth, who played Finn, died of an overdose in a hotel room in Canada.  He had struggled with substance abuse and been in and out of rehab for many years.

In 2018 Mark Salling, who played Puck, took his own life at the age of 35.  He was facing years in prison for the possession of child pornography and his career had never really developed after the end of “Glee”, so he was probably severely depressed.

In 2020 Naya Rivera, who played Santana, died while swimming with her son, whose life she saved by putting him back on the boat they had rented on a lake in California.  Members of the Glee cast reunited to honor Naya on the shore of the lake where she died and later online by ZOOM.

To learn more about the “Glee” cast members lives and what they are doing now, read the article at this link:

https://people.com/tv/glee-cast-where-are-they-now/

[themelancholyhill]

I haven’t had the courage to send you an ask for a while. Part of it is because one of my mutuals-turned-irl friend told me someone sent her an ask on anon and the blog url actually came up for a moment as she posted her answer. It was most likely a glitch but still, i’d like to be anon to you for as long as possible, i think it’s better this way. Whenever i see your reblogs on my dash i always want to send you an ask just to see how you are.

So how are you really? Tell me.

I’m not doing well…i’ve hurt someone i care very much about very deeply. I had to cut her out of my life, in a way that i know will scar her for a long time. I knew where her vulnerability was and i used it, not to hurt her intentionally, but i didn’t see another way for us to continue our friendship. She is an online friend. I’ve had quite a bit of issues with people i’ve met over the internet that i don’t know if befriending someone in this way is the best thing for me mentally. It’s weird, coz i’ve met some wonderful people (like you❤️) and my mutual/irl friend but there are also things and people i’ve experienced online that i’d rather not remember. Have you had something similar like this happen to you online?

Or is this just life and i’ve just been too sheltered and safe all this time?

V✖️

Don't worry about wanting to remain anonymous. If you feel like it's the best option then I won't pressure you to reveal your username either here or on any other platform. Not that I was going to or it means that I don't care if you show it or not, but just go with whatever suits your fancy. We've been talking for this long like this and it's a sign that it's working, so keep it up since it's your best option.

I've met wonderful people (you included, of course, and you being anonymous sets you apart delightfully) and I've met some of them which is nice and all! They're a couple of online friends whom I wish I could meet irl, but despite living in the same country, we live in different areas so it's tricky to meet and hang out. Idk, I might organise something w one of them whom I know for more than 10 years!

However, I met a guy online a month ago and we'd decided to meet irl. Here's the thing, he's nice and all but he's got this tendency of noticing every detail and he'd shown jealous behavior despite us not going out at all. We met at my uni campus cause my mom doesn't want me to exceed this parameter and he was like: "that's not fair for me, I want us to go somewhere else!"

I told him that maybe I'd get to do that some day and he left me on seen—it's been a month now!

I'm not fazed by it at all, but coming from someone my age, it just disappoints me!

Apart from that, I'm doing well. I've seen Ray on couple of occasions. He came off of the same classroom I study in. He saw me and that was it. How weird is it to see someone you care so much about become a complete stranger?! I'm slowly coping with this situation, and it's tedious!

As for your situation, I solely believe that you did it because it was the best thing to do. Sometimes, harsh decisions have got to be made. I also believe that our online space should be safe for us to just breathe, and if someone is there to suck all the air, well then, it's best to cut tights w them!

I'm super glad to hear from you, I've been reblogging stuff that are rather random, but know for sure that you cross my mind very very often!

I hope that by the time you read this you'll be feeling much much better!

[crystalcow]

𝑀𝑦 𝑎𝑟𝑚𝑠 𝑝𝑡 2//𝑊𝑖𝑙𝑏𝑢𝑟𝑠 𝐶ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑑

Masterlist//child reader//pt one

Wilburs x reader !blurb !p !child reader

Pronouns used: they/them

Warnings: swearing, blood, death, angst

━。゜✿ฺ✿ฺ゜。━

Wilburs pov

I looked up in shock, tears welling in my eyes and blood seeped through onto my shirt, yet it wasn’t even my own. I slowly felt myself, falling and falling until I was on my knees, holding my little star close.

The weight of their dead, cold lifeless body in my arms, I watched as my “son” stood there. “Little Champion, how could you?” I laughed staring out at him as everyone around stared in shock, my eyes bloodshot with darkness.

He just stood there, paralyzed in place while his sibling slowly faded away in my arms. Tommy, Tubbo, Ranboo! They watched, they saw it all happen.

His nibling, their friend, my child! They watched as Y/n died in my fucking arms, shot by their very own brother.

“I know how it is in that place, the constant rail road tracks blaring in my ears. I hoped, I prayed that one day someone would just show up! That someone would be there to experience the same, selfish pain I did. But never, never did I want it to be them!”

I shouted, I called out at the very top of my lungs, forcing my chest to hold up instead of shriveling apart.

How could he do this to me? How could be do this to them, I knew he never liked them when they were younger but I watched.. I watched as over the years they grew closer and closer, Y/n sneaking into Fundys room in the middle of the night whenever he had nightmares.

I may have been a terrible father but I raised my children for love.

Not for treacherous, constant underlying pain.

Dream did me that favor once, maybe he’ll be up to do it again. I just hope the book isn’t completely fucked yet.

Shit

They were just in my arms, the blood of my one love drenching my shirt. Those who surrounded me were all those I loved, those whom had experience pain constantly.

Im sorry to all those I have hurt, my brother one of them. I wanted them to live, me by their side. Why did I let this happen, why can’t things go right for once.

I was gifted such a wondrous gift, the ability to live and continue my overlying legacy. The second I returned, the very first step I’ve taken in this world I fucked it up again.

Now everything rushing through my head, I can’t get these faint voices to stop. Screams of terror and cries of sadness, begging for someone to save them.

The train tracks never stop

━。゜✿ฺ✿ฺ゜。━

One of the shittiest things I’ve written recently and I’m sorry, I’ll try to be more frequent!

Taglist: @creatorofstars @georgenctfound @samistheidiot @smolfuckingblob @ghostlysenses @stellarinstigator @bobaducky @the-swageyama-tobiyolo @uwucorpse @chaoticotaku @k-l-a-w-s @denkisclown @arson-404 @koicat

[raziroo]

Ma

Pairing: Naruto Uzumaki x motherfigure!reader

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: None, as far as I recall

Word count: 1398

Author's Note: Y'all i suck at titles i was so close to just naming this shit The Smile™. anywho enjoy this piece of motherly love churned out in like forty minutes.

She remembered how she’d found him. There was only the smallest crowd surrounding him, murmurs and whispers flitting back and forth. She’d been on her way to get groceries, initially ignoring the group of people herself, when the name ‘Naruto’ attracted her attention.

Naruto. Minato and Kushina’s son.

Instantly she’d stopped in her tracks, changing directions as to investigate what exactly was up. And oh, the condition the boy was in was enough to tug at her heartstrings - gashes and bruises were scattered across his body, peeking out from under the torn tatters of his clothes; blood seeped from his nose, his split lip, the multiple cuts his body had.

Shifting the bag so that it hung on her shoulder, the woman lifted the frail, clearly undernourished child up, and paying no heed to the villagers who were clearly appalled at the sight in front of them, she’d hurried to Konoha’s hospital.

It was while she paid for his medical expenses did the woman decide – she wouldn’t trust the poor child at the Hokage’s hands. However great a Kage may be, in the end of the day, he too was nothing at the hands of the people and politics. The villagers of the Leaf were bent on not accepting the boy solely because he was a Jinchuriki; a fate bestowed upon him by the Fourth Hokage, his father, the man the village worshipped. It truly was strange seeing all these mature adults resent a mere toddler just because he had the Kyuubi sealed inside of him. They didn’t realise that he was protecting them in a manner ever so sacrificial; they didn’t care that the Nine Tails would probably harm the boy more than it would ever them.

He’d woken up (jumped up, rather), began pestering her with questions. It was truly so sorrowful; the boy couldn’t – he simply wouldn’t – believe that someone would actually try to help him. When she’d told him that he was going to be living with her from then on, that she would be his guardian; oh, the sheer, unadulterated joy on his face shook the woman to her core. In all her years, in her entire thirty-three-year lifespan, never had the female witnessed an expression so pure – his euphoria shone through the shocked look on his face, and then through the face-splitting grin he wore.

He’d hugged her. She’d been surprised. After all, no child, even a four-year-old, hugged a stranger this freely.

She’d hugged him back anyways.

“Well, introduce yourself. It’s bad manners not to.”

“I’m Naruto Uzumaki, believe it! I’m going to become Hokage someday, you’ll see! The strongest Hokage ever!

“Oh?”

“Yes! I’ll save the village, and then its people will give me ramen!”

“Oh… you’re quite ambitious. Very determined too. I’m sure you’ll be Hokage, but for now, why don’t we get you something to eat? What would you like?”

“Ramen!”

She remembered the first time he’d called her ‘ma’. He’d been seven-years-old. She’d been putting him to bed, telling him fables of the Yondaime Hokage and his adventures. She hadn’t thought it wise to tell him that she’d been a mentor of his. That was a tale for another time.

She had crossed the threshold when she heard the little child’s voice call out to her.

“Yes, Naruto?”

“…Who were my parents? What were they like?”

“…”

“I - I’m sorry if you don’t wanna say it!”

“Your parents, Naruto, were two of the kindest, bravest people I’ve met. Your father was very charming, and your mother was beautiful. They were like prince and princess.”

“Oh. So… if they were prince and princess, then what am I?”

“Well, that would make you a prince, won’t it? When a prince and princess grow up, they become king and queen. So you’re prince.”

“Oh. You’re so intelligent! So you’re a queen too then?”

“Well… that depends. Would you want me to be queen?”

“Yes! I’m the prince, and the mother of a prince is a queen, isn’t she?”

“…Do you think of me as your mother, Naruto?”

“Of course! You take care of me, make food for me, buy clothes for me, tell me stories, put me in bed at night. That’s everything a mother does!”

“…”

“You’re my Ma, believe it!”

She’d kissed him goodnight. She might have shed a tear or two, too.

She remembered all their friendly banter. The quarrels over ramen, how she’d become a little stern, how he’d apologise fervently.

“Ma?”

“Mm-hm?”

“Can we have ramen for dinner today? Please?”

“Didn’t we have ramen for lunch yesterday? You can’t eat that all the time, you need to eat other stuff too, you know. Vegetables, fish, rice, miso -”

“But none of it is as good as ramen!”

“Really? You think so?”

“Yes! Believe it!”

“I do believe you, you knucklehead. But since you value ramen over my healthy, home cooked food, why don’t you make food for the rest of the week?”

“…Hah? No! Ma, I was kidding, believe it! Please, your food is great, it’s the best!”

“…Better than ramen, then?”

“Well, no, but -!”

She remembered when he left the village for training with Jiraiya. She couldn’t help but compare the scene of Naruto beside Jiraiya to Minato beside Jiraiya.

“Don’t be sad at all Ma! I’m gonna get stronger after training with Pervy Sage, and I’m gonna bring back Sasuke, believe it! I’ll save him from Orochimaru, that bastard -”

“Language, Naruto.”

“Sorry! But anyways, I’m gonna go now. Goodbye, Konoha! I know you’ll miss me! Bye, M – Ma? Ma, what -?”

“It’s nothing, you idiot. I’m your mother, aren’t I? Can’t I hug my boy goodbye?”

She remembered when he’d encountered Sasuke and Orochimaru.

“I was useless, Ma, useless! I couldn’t do a thing! I preached of bringing him back, but in the end, I turned out to be nothing but a pathetic loser who can’t even save his own friend! How am I ever gonna become Hokage?!”

“…”

“…Ma…?”

“…”

“…”

“Naruto, did you know I was part of ANBU?”

“W – wha -?”

“While my time there, I had many a companion, many a comrade. I remember them all to this day. There was one, though, one shinobi who stood out among all of us. When any of us would doubt ourselves, would try to blame ourself for a mission’s failure, he smacked us across the face. Be it girl or boy, he did not tolerate self-doubt and deprecation at any cost. He said that if we wished to be worthy shinobi, then pride mattered. If there was something that each and every human shares, it’s the sense of dignity and self-respect. No matter how big or how scarce, everyone has that. He taught me to never let my dignity be stripped of me. Because in the end, even when a man has nothing, he can always hold onto dignity. People who lose their sense of self and self-respect end up becoming like that Kabuto Yakushi. Don’t you ever, Naruto, ever think that you’re not worthy. You, my child, are the bravest, most kind-hearted shinobi I’ve met. It’s understandable that you’d feel weak after defeat at the hands of someone you call a rival, but I can assure you, you will bring Sasuke back. That’s something you can quote me on.”

She remembered how devastated and grief stricken he'd been when Jiraiya died, and how she had hugged him the tightest she'd ever hugged anyone. She remembered how he’d saved her, the Hokage, his friends and so many others when Pain had attacked. She remembered how he’d saved the village over and over. How he’d brought Sasuke back. How he’d rescued Hinata from the moon. How he’d come out victorious against Madara Uchiha, for God’s sake.

She remembered feeling struck when he’d smiled at her on his wedding day. Her boy had grown up, become tall, mature, become a man. But when he smiled at her, all she saw was the four-year-old whom she’d announced to that he was going to live with her.

It hadn’t been much of a surprise when that same blinding smile adorned his features when he had Boruto.

It was expected of him to smile at her that way when he had Himawari.

She felt so proud of him when he gave her the smile when he became Hokage.

Truly, her boy had grown up. He was the strongest shinobi to ever live, surpassing the God of Shinobi, his Master, his father.

Naruto Uzumaki. Her son.

[katsidhe]

i know ur mainly a sam focused blog so feel free to ignore this question if it doesn’t suit you. do you think dean knows that sam loved him (in a platonic way)? i’ve been seeing some posts talking about how all dean wanted was to be loved and the finale killed him off before he could experience that and i’m so confused bc… sam is right there? i know in the earlier seasons there was a lot of insecurity between the two of them, with dean thinking that sam just wanted to go back to stanford but i always thought by the later seasons the brothers were more secure in their relationship w each other. do you have any thoughts on this?

I’m always down for SPN questions, Sam-focused or not! Though I’d say this is absolutely a Sam-focused question, in that way where the essentials of Sam and Dean are absolutely inextricable from their relationship with each other. Anyway, as you may have guessed, I think that particular critique of the finale is deeply, deeply silly, because it implies that both a) Sam’s brand of love wasn’t ~enough and b) despite the unassailably true fact that this show was chock full of people who loved Dean and told him so to his face, it was somehow contingent on them to figure out how to get it through Dean’s head and the fact that they didn’t do it ~properly~ was a moral or narrative failing. 

anyway. Dean’s perspective on whether or not Sam loves him is, well, a little difficult, because I think both that Dean intertwines “love” with “need” to an unhealthy extent, and that Dean expects unconditional “loyalty”--which is often simply obedience--from his family, in a way he also deeply associates with “love”. 

I think Dean views a declaration of the structural relationship of “family” to already be, in its most essential form, a declaration of love. Saying that Sam is his brother and that he loves Sam is tautological for him: the same is true for Mary and John, and even extends to the friends whom he names as family, such as  Bobby, Cas, and Charlie. 

His early seasons insecurities with Sam are founded on the idea not that Sam doesn’t necessarily have strong feelings for him, but that Sam does not need Dean the way Dean needs Sam. I don’t think Dean is ever insecure about some idea that Sam, like, hates him and would push him away because of that (note that this is not true of Sam, whose fears of Dean’s abandonment are based specifically in Dean’s moral judgment). But early seasons Dean is afraid that Sam doesn’t respect him. He’s terrified at the idea that Sam not only can live without Dean, but that he’d prefer to--that hunting and Dean’s way of life (which Dean views as intrinsic to his identity, and which he cannot compromise on) is dragging Sam down. This is why Dean views the attempts for Sam to change the way they do things, and transition to a life where they don’t need to hunt, as a personal attack. I do think Dean is confident that Sam “loves” him, and also deeply terrified that Sam doesn’t love him enough, and completely enough, to stay loyal to Dean’s idea of family. Sam has always had a much different relationship to the structural idea of family (and therefore to Dean’s idea of love) than Dean has, which makes this particular insecurity so insidious. 

In s4, this mounts into a mutual feeling of betrayal. Dean views Sam choosing Ruby as both Sam relinquishing Dean’s ability to take care of him/protect him (Sam even calls him weak, which doesn’t, yknow, help this paradigm) and as another attempt to leave. Sam views Dean’s inflexibility as Dean’s inability to accept Sam as he is, and as a moral judgment (which it absolutely is). In s5, Sam is the one to accept compromise: Dean allows him back into the fold on the condition that Sam stay in a particular spot in the family moral hierarchy, which lingers through s6 and s7. Sam’s compromised state in s6 and s7 (and even s5 to an extent) makes him far more reliant on Dean than he was in eg s3. i think that Dean finds this comforting to his idea of Sam’s love for him. 

In s8, though, that compromised state vanishes. Sam is now independent enough not only to not need Dean, but to not even bring him back from the dead. Dean naturally views this as a complete betrayal. But in mid-s8 Sam chooses Dean over Amelia, and Dean chooses Sam over Benny. The Trials are a gesture of sacrifice for Dean, and they put Sam in a vulnerable state again. There’s no way late-s8 Sam is gallivanting off to college, and Dean knows it. 

Dean’s betrayal in s9, followed by him leaving and taking the Mark once his crime is discovered, is in some ways a toxic kind of wallowing self-vilification: he assigns himself blame and forces himself to leave before Sam has a chance to leave him. When Sam says he’s not ready to be brothers again, Dean absolutely takes it as a declaration that Sam does not love him. 

But Sam’s abasement and self-destruction in s10... kinda settles the matter. I think s9 is the last time Dean has real insecurity about Sam’s loyalty to family, and therefore Sam’s love for him, and I think that’s because of how far overboard Sam goes in s10, the lengths to which Sam goes to save him despite Dean treating him terribly. That’s the core thing Dean recognizes and remembers in s11. 

S11 heralds the holding pattern of a heightened sense of security in the status of their relationship. It’s still deeply unhealthy, but it is definitely more stable than it was in nearly every way: this promise that things won’t change is, I think, the keystone of Dean’s confidence in Sam’s love. 

[euterpessi]

Romance Manhwa/Manga Recommendations:

Historical Manhwa/Manga:

Death Is The Only Ending For The Villainess

I’ve reincarnated as the reverse harem game’s villainess, the one and only adopted daughter of the ducal Eckart family.

But the difficulty just has to be the worst!

Everything I do will only lead me to death.

I must be paired with one of the main male characters from the heroine’s harem before the ‘real daughter’ of the duke family appears!

Two older brothers who always pick a fight with me on every little thing.

The insane crown prince whose route will always lead to my death.

‘I only see the heroine and no one else’s wizard, and also her loyal slave knight, too!

‘First, let’s take some of them which I see no hope in, out of the list!’

“I didn’t know my place up until now. From now on, I’ll live as quiet as a mouse so you wouldn’t care the slightest bit!

But why do their interests in me keep on rising every time I draw the line?!

The Villainess is a Marionette

Cayena, the Imperial Princess, was known as the most beautiful woman in the Empire. She was a woman who knew nothing but evil and luxury.

However, she was destined for ruin: she would be used as a chess piece by her younger brother to secure his throne and killed by her crazy husband.

“I’ll make you the Emperor.”

“… Sister, are you referring to me?”

“In exchange, give me freedom.”

She had to change things before she became that Cayena.

The Reason Why Raeliana Ended Up At The Duke’S Mansion

Poisoned to death by her own betrothed?! Eunha didn’t wake up in a novel’s story just to get killed off again as an unfortunate extra! To change her story she needs a cover… 6 months pretending to be the fake fiancée of the novel’s male protagonist, Duke Noah Wynknight. But will this cold-hearted, angel-faced demon of a man really help her avoid another ill-fated ending?!

Your Throne / I Want to Be You, Just For A Day

The story follows main characters Medea Solon and Psyche Callista, who become archenemies after competing for the position of crown princess of the Vasilios Empire. On the day of the Yearly Prayer, Medea and Psyche accidentally switch bodies.

The Remarried Empress

Navier was the perfect empress, however, the Emperor wanted a wife, not a colleague. And so, the Emperor abandoned Empress Navier and placed an enslaved girl beside him. That was fine until Navier heard the Emperor promise the slave the Empress’ position. After many ups and downs, Navier decided she would accept being the Queen of the neighbouring country and remarry.

Kill The Villainess

Eris Mizerian was the villainess of a novel. The only daughter of a marquis, she got executed after scheming against the pure and lovely protagonist, Helena. My only goal, after possessing her, is simply to leave this world and go home. I am prepared to face even death, but the laws of this world keep stopping me.

A changed Eris begins to draw the attention of three men who once loathed her; the Crown Prince, the High Priest, and the Knight.

"It doesn't matter. I will never be able to love this world."

Even if the only way out is death,

even if the only way out is make a deal with a witch...

I will absolutely leave this world!

This is the story of the villainess who defies fate, Eris, and her escape from this world!

The Way To Protect The Female Lead's Older Brother

I accidentally took possession of someone in a 19+ reverse harem novel.

The problem is that I became Roxana Agriche, the older sister of the sub-villain. My damn father kidnapped the heroine’s brother. Now, is the only thing left to meet a terrible end from the vengeance of the heroine?

But what if I can avoid that horrible development?

“I’m also interested in this toy.”

“I’ll protect you until you can get out of here safely.”

The heroine’s brother, Cassis Pedalian, will definitely be able to pay me back later.

Shadow Queen

“Can you be my daughter for me?”

By his offer, Elena became Duke of Franceschi’s fake daughter.

She became the queen and gave birth to Crown Prince’s son.

Then suddenly, Princess Veronica who was assumed dead came back.

She was only just a toy.

But eventually, Elena gets her son taken and is murdered.

However, she went back to the past.

“I’ll destroy all of you.”

I’ll never live as a toy again.

Elena decides to seeks revenge.

Under the Oak Tree

The daughter of a duke, the stuttering Maximilian, married a knight of lowly status at her father’s coercion.

After their first night, her husband departed for an expedition without another word.

He comes back three years later, this time as a famous knight in the whole continent.

How would Maximilian face him on his return?

"The more I think of you, the more lonely and lonely I become. I don't know why I can't quit even though it's so painful."

I'm Stanning The Prince

Angela’s fanfic became such a sensation that it even reached the Imperial Family, leading her to get arrested on charges of treason. Nevertheless, her fanfic improved the First Prince’s image, and his sister, the Princess, decides to take political advantage of this and keep Angela by their side. 

The heroine who can now fangirl to her heart’s content, and the Prince who doesn’t know how to act around her. As they bicker back and forth, they start growing closer…

Miss Not-So Sidekick

Hyejung loved to read to escape her daily stress. But that’s before she woke up inside the bizarre world of her favorite novel! Instead of the main heroine who courts three eligible men, she is now Latte Ectrie – a minor villain that everyone hates?! One way or another, it’s a chance to live out her most beloved storyline, with popcorn in hand to watch all the drama! Taking charge of the narrative takes on a whole new meaning!

Even Though I’M The Villainess, I’ll Become The Heroine!

I wasn’t able to overcome the harassment and took my life, but I was reincarnated with the perpetrator? The perpetrator is the heroine, Florre, and I am the villainess, Dahlia, who’s going to die horribly.

“They said you are a villain with neither blood nor tears, but unlike the rumors, you often shed tears.”

“Your Highness must believe all the nonsense the idiots are talking about, huh?”

Grand Duke of Cervian, the half brother of the Male lead and who will be punished for treason afterwards. He approached me. I can’t lose the man who will be my greatest ally.

“Your Highness, would you marry me?”

“Now…… what did you say?”

“And take revenge together.”

A similar situation, a fixed ending. The heroine is not the only one who knows the ending of the novel. I took a long and arduous path of revenge.

Who Made Me A Princess

The beautiful Athanasia was killed at the hands of her own biological father, Claude de Alger Obelia, the cold-blooded emperor! It’s just a silly bedtime story… until one woman wakes up to suddenly find she’s become that unfortunate princess! She needs a plan to survive her doomed fate, and time is running out. Will she go with Plan A, live as quietly as possible without being noticed by the infamous emperor? Plan B, collect enough money to escape the palace? Or will she be stuck with Plan C, sweet-talking her way into her father’s good graces?!

The Villainess Reverses the Hourglass

With the marriage of her prostitute mother to the Count, Aria’s status in society skyrocketed immediately. After leading a life of luxury, Aria unfairly meets death because of her sister Mielle’s schemes. And right before she dies, she sees an hourglass fall as if it were a fantasy. And just like that, she was miraculously brought back to the past.

“I want to become a very elegant person, just like my sister, Mielle.”

In order to face the villainess, she must become an even more wicked villainess. This was the new path Aria chose to take revenge on Mielle who murdered both her and her mother.

The Evil Lady's Hero

Junipe Magnolia, a villainess friend of the heroine in this novel called Rael Cania.

The Junipe inside the novel has always loved the male lead, Iseed. To the point where she harassed Rael out of jealousy because she's loved by Iseed.

And thus, Junipe is destinied to die in the hands of the male lead of this novel.

But one day.

"Why did I become Junipe?!"

But let's think about it, it's still one year away from the time Junipe is going to get killed by Iseed. So, I have to meet Iseed and Rael first, I'll be able to find a way out of my death if I do so.

Yeah, let's meet them first!

But, this man is just so tender-hearted and kind. Would Junipe be able to escape from this man?!

I Tamed a Tyrant and Ran Away

God gave me a chance to relive my life. Before the rebirth, I had been used for the past 400 years as the empire's sword. And so, I swore to destroy the empire. I found the young prince of the country and became his teacher. I taught him how to become a tyrant and asked for the country.

"I will do the lady's will."

He conquered the whole empire for me, and I ran away.

"I came to take you, Charlize Ronan." Dylan became a perfect tyrant and searched the entire empire for me.

"You tamed me, so why did you run away?"

Untouchable Lady

“Please, Hilise. Please die in place of Gabrielle.” My always dignified brother begged me for the first time. He wants me to die for our stepsister, whom we don't even share a drop of blood with. “For the first and last time, I ask you this.” I've always been miserable, and there is no exception this time. The seventh time that I was betrayed and killed, I was completely free of lingering feelings. “I'm glad that you're a scumbag until the end.” I won't be swayed by love anymore. It's my turn to abandon them first.

I’ll Live On As A Villainess

I reincarnated as the villainess in a book!

The one who dared to commit attempted murder on the heroine is the owner of this body?

Let's just live in a quiet place where we have fun and eat! That's what I thought for a while.

It was so, so, so cold here in the north, where I was kicked out as a punishment.

Before I froze to death, I called the Great Demon of Fire and set fire to the fireplace but...

Why isn't he going back? If you've done the job, shouldn't you go back?!

I was flustered to find out that I had signed a life contract with a demon just to start a fire but to think that I'd be responsible for relieving his desires!

The bickering romance between a big puppy demon and a small villainess lady!

It Looks Like I’Ve Fallen Into The World Of A Reverse Harem Game

When I opened my eyes, I was in a different world. I had become the game’s villainous princess who was feared by all. Not to mention… Completely naked men I didn’t even know were approaching me left and right! “Are you cold? Shall I warm you up with a hug?” “Oh? Have you not had enough yet?” Seriously, what’s up with this situation? And just how the hell am I going to get out of this freaking game?!

Father, I Don't Want to Get Married!

I’m Jubelian? The daughter of the duke and the villainess of this novel?

I managed to avoid my death with some previous knowledge about my life, as this was my second time at it. Now, I should be able to live a peaceful life!

“I’m not going to marry a man unless he has everything. I want the most wealthy, famous, and competent man there is.”

I dreamt of a glamorous life as the daughter of the duke, but my father tells me the Crown Prince who is known to be a lunatic is to be my husband! As an extraordinary measure, I couldn’t help but start a contract relationship. That is, with a handsome side character that looks better than the main one.

“Why are you trying to avoid being engaged to the prince?”

“He’s scary. I heard that he even kills his own entourage if he doesn’t like them.”

A few days later, the prince sent a terrible letter to me.

“I will not kill you.”

Oh no, did I set up another death trap for myself?

Like A Wind On A Dry Branch

"Hi, You."

Count Casarius fell victim to a plague and died suddenly, leaving behind a will stating that Rietta, his beautiful young widow of the manor, whom he tried to use as a concubine, be buried alive alongside him. Just before Rietta is buried, Archduke Axias, rumored to be a cruel tyrant, arrives at the funeral to collect the enormous debt Count Casarius still owes him.

“Everyone here seems to feel sorry for her, and I still have a debt to collect from Casarius… If I take her instead of debt, I think all of you here should be happy," he smiled.

"Hello, Temptress."

Everything was a Mistake

Roa Valrose reincarnated as villainess in the book. In order to avoid the fate of being burned at the stake, she approaches the hero, Nocton Edgar.

It hurts every time she gets closer to him. Nevertheless, for her survival, she does everything he wants her to do.

“Come again, Valrose.”

The mysterious Nocton unexpectedly sought her out every day.

Then one day, her friend for 10 years says something unknown to her.

“Actually, I have a dream. The Duke of Edgar is a terrible villain!”

He is not the hero, but the villain?

As soon as she realized that she had misinterpreted the role, she decided to get away from Nocton.

“Let’s not meet anymore.”

But the villain’s reaction was strange.

“Don’t go. You’ve always been special to me.”

She was suspicious of his sudden change of attitude.

Will she able to get rid of Nocton safely?

I Became the Tyrant's Secretary

I became the secretary of a tyrant in place of my clumsy brother to survive.

But I have so much potential for it. I’m so darn good at my job. Because I served the tyrant so well, ‘Everyone has a happy ending’.

Well then, shall I quit being a secretary and live a leisurely life now?

“Rosaline, tell me what you want.” He asked as he stepped down from his chair.

“I want to quit.”

His eyebrows twitched slightly.

“Do you want to die?”

Your highness, you never hold on to people who want to leave, so why’re you being like this to me?

Seduce the Villainess Father

After being in a bus crash, I woke up to the world of my favourite web novel.

Not only that, It was before the protagonists were born, to their parents’ world!

To stop the incoming multiple bad events.

I tried to prevent the kidnapping of the sister who is pregnant with the female lead!

But I got kidnapped instead?!

It's depressing to be kidnapped, but my body couldn't handle the mana and became a sunfish-like state

But... if I am next to the emperor who kidnapped me, my body becomes normal!

Right! The way to save that man from marrying a witch and getting killed by his son, and for someone who is vulnerable to mana such as myself to live, is for us to get married!

The Villains Savior

Set on a path to tragedy and misfortune from a young age, Aseph Randell is doomed to die a villain. That is, until the mysterious Elzay Tiathe appears in his life with a promise: "I can save you." After having vivid visions of him for so long, can Elzay untangle the twisted fate tied to Aseph... or will they both be dragged down together?

Contemporary Manhwa/Manga:

Night Crying Crow

This woman; who is she?

If something was action, it'd be action. If something was romance, it’d be romance. The A-list actor Cheon Woo Kang, who's great at every (genre), had his heart stolen away by an unknown woman who’d broken into his house!

“We'll meet again.~"

Woo Kang contracted an over imaginative illness as he drew the woman, whose name he didn't even know. In front of Woo Kang, she reappeared as the police officer Park Tae... Could the shadow of the crisis that appeared in front of them be a coincidence?

Raise wa Tanin ga Ii

Yoshino Somei would have been a normal high-schooler if not for the fact that she is the granddaughter of the leader of the Osaka-based Somei Group, the Kansai region's largest yakuza organization. One day, Yoshino hurries home after hearing of the news about the unification of Kansai and Kanto's biggest syndicates, the Somei and the Miyama groups. This, according to the article, will result in a marriage of the leaders' grandchildren—one of whom is Yoshino herself! Despite her best efforts to annul the arrangement, Yoshino has to go to Tokyo to visit her fiancé, Kirishima Miyama, who is unexpectedly nice and charming.

During their first meeting, Yoshino is swept up in various events and becomes unable to refuse moving to Tokyo, which is why, half a year later, she now lives with the Miyama group. At school, she soon realizes that Kirishima is very popular, so her relationship with him garners the hate of his fangirls and subsequently results in bullying. To make matters worse, Kirishima could not be further away from her prince charming since he, after all, was born to be a yakuza member.

Raise wa Tanin ga Ii follows Yoshino and her new life in Tokyo that is filled with nothing but troubles connected to the underworld. However, though she wishes to be as far from it as possible, this isn't Yoshino's first time dealing with the world of the Yakuza...

Positively Yours

To Hee-won’s dismay, the BFF she crushed on and her other BFF are now dating! Seriously bummed, Hee-won decides to go wild just one time, and find solace with a handsome stranger. A very satisfying one night affair has now turned into more — she’s pregnant! Fate brings them together again, and now the regimented Doo-joon is determined to do the right thing and marry her. But they’re basically strangers! Except... their bodies have been very intimately acquainted. What’s this mother-to-be to do?

True Beauty

After binge-watching beauty videos online, a shy comic book fan masters the art of makeup and sees her social standing skyrocket as she becomes her school’s prettiest pretty girl overnight. But will her elite status be short-lived? How long can she keep her real self a secret? And what about that cute boy who knows her secret?

Cheese In the Trap

Hong Sul is a ordinary college student. Yoo Jung is the school's most popular upperclass man. He's good looking, rich, smart, and even nice. However, Hong Sul thinks there's more to Yoo Jung than what meets the eye…

SPY x FAMILY

The master spy codenamed has spent his days on undercover missions, all for the dream of a better world. But one day, he receives a particularly difficult new order from command. For his mission, he must form a temporary family and start a new life?! A Spy/Action/Comedy about a one-of-a-kind family!

Doppio Senso (18+)

“What are you thinking about?”

“I’m thinking about a guy.”

KyungHyun stopped in the middle of a deep kiss and sighed. His lips began to form a smile, but his fierce glare said otherwise. Possessiveness and jealousy spread across his sculpted face.

“Will you tell me his name?”

His easygoing and languid voice reached her ears.

“Why?”

“So that I can shoot him down.”