TW: discussion of something approximating suicidal tendencies but with the usual crack programming of this blog
“Ah, High General Windu”, says Fox, pleasantly. “So we meet again.”
High General Windu raises an unimpressed eyebrow at him, Fox thinks, though it’s getting hard to tell with all the blood rushing to his head. “If I let you go, will you try to throw yourself out of another window?”
Fox makes a vague shrugging motion - or tries to, anyways. It’s hard to tell where any of his limbs are going, hanging upside down in the air as he is. “I am willing to discuss terms.” A bridge will do just fine.
Impossibly, the High General’s eyebrows climb even further up his forehead. “A compromise, then, esteemed Commander.” And so, he righths Fox the head way up in the air, but leaves him floating just above the ground, at which point several painted shells come skidding around the corner followed by billowing robes and screeches.
“WHAT”, says Kote, calmly, “THE BANTHA-KARKED, FORCE-LOVING KRIFF, FOX.”
“You’ll short out your helmet mic”, Fox advises him, sagely. Fondly, he thinks back to decimating his own on only his second time in the newly-christened official Coruscant Guard Scream Closet. He’d just received the comm about the Zillo Beast being transported to 000, and made sure to take his bucket off thereafter to improve the quality of his closet time.
High General Windu’s face does something complicated between sympathy and constipation.
Because the Galaxy doesn’t hate Fox enough already and Cody wasn’t enough on his own, Wolffe elbows his way through their batch to plant himself in front of him, shoulders squared and shaking with repressed rage. “If you try that again, dickhead”, he begins, in a low growl that quite frankly sounds more cringe that intimidating, “I’m going to resurrect you and then kill you again.”
“Ah, Wolffe”, Plo Koon says, in his deep, shivery timbre, “Remember our conversations about effective conflict resolution and communication of needs?”
Wolffe’s eyes narrow at Fox, because all non-Guard are sweet summer children who walk around buckets off on 000 like absolute lunatics. Fox prays they never have to find out why that’s a bad idea. “I feel”, his ori’vod presses out between clenched teeth, “that if you make me watch you throw yourself out of another window, I’m going to jump after you and strangle you on the way down, you little bitch.”
“That’s fair”, says Fox, and watches High General Kenobi bury his face in his hands. Wolffe twitches in place and makes an aborted groaning noise, the hypocrite.
“Excuse me, High Marshall Commander Fox, but I fail to see what’s so dire about this situation that the Jedi High Council and your brothers cannot help you solve”, says Windu, the only sane one left on this Force-forsaken bloated corpse of a planet. Behind the gaggle of Jedi and ori’vode already gathered in front of Fox, the rest of them come veering around the corner in a commotion that’s quite frankly embarrassing. High General Yoda is mounted on Skywalker’s back like he’s a race-Eopie, which is Fox’ only consolation.
He got up this morning at 0300, bleary-eyed and with a pounding headache as always, and all was right in the world. And then Fox got called into the Jedi High Council’s chambers and was ceremoniously informed that in the wake of Chancellor Palpatine’s unfortunate demise (hah), and through the emergency state of the Senate, as well as several invented promotions foisted on Fox to make the delegation of any and all paperwork less shady, he was now next in the chain of command and-
Well, Fox is the acting Chancellor, in short.
Haha, he had said, and been meet with several seconds of silence, until it got both awkward and exceedingly painful. Wait, he’d said. You’re kriffing serious.
Kriffing serious, we are, had said High General Yoda, and thus Fox launched himself out the first best window with a maniacal cackle of, you’ll have to catch me first!
And catch him, High General Windu sure did.
“The will of the Force this is”, Yoda interrupts Fox’ train of thought. He scans him thoughtfully from beneath his wizened brow, and hems to himself. “Shake things up, this will. Determine the fate of the Galaxy, this shall. A feeling, I have, that a good Chancellor you will make. A better one, hmmm.”
“That’d be high praise, if not for the fact that a dead lemming would make for a better Chancellor than the last one”, says Fox, drawing and indignant gasp from Skywalker. He doesn’t bother with either that or the green goblin’s cackle, lost in the deep sense of resignation that settles over his shoulders like a suffocating blanket.
“Alright, then, get me Thorn on the comm. As my first act in office, I’m firing all the Jedi. No offense, but you’re kind of a disaster. Then, someone get me to the Chancellor’s office, I’m calling Dooku to let him know the war’s off. And please get me Judicial, they’ll be up all night working on my datafolders - I’m having the Senate arrested.”
“Who - is - arresting - “, Bly pants, hands on his knees from where he’s just come sprinting around the corner with his Jedi.
Underneath his bucket, Fox smiles a smile that’s all teeth. “The Senate”, he says, sweetly, wondering if he’s just imagined the shiver that’s gone through the room. “I’m suing the Senate, and taking them all into temporary custody for abuse of sentient rights.”
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“You keep me awake at night,” they said, But why? How?
Piles go from up to down, pictures are drawn by me, everything is literally by me. And I do not consent to my work being used by third parties in other websites as well.
Now. Breathe in with me, and then breathe out. Picked your pile? Let’s find out what are the answers. PAC idea by @nikolaiiy btw I need to give my niece some recognition here too.
Disclaimer: This is solely for my entertainment purposes. Take only whatever you feel like it. If it doesn’t resonate, it’s okay to just drop it.
Content warning: Mentions of sex without details. Just to let y’all know beforehand.
Decks used: Luna Cat Tarot Deck (Major Arcana), Kawaii Tarot Deck, Starcodes Astro Oracle Deck, self made decks.
Pile 1
Hey Pile 1! Your person thinks of you as their whole world, and that you’re their source of joy and beauty. You bring colours into their lives but this person of yours but they just… Don’t know how to deal with it. See, they have a lot of conflicting thoughts, and sometimes you guys have arguments that can be pretty harsh, creating discomfort between you two. You both have legit points but sometimes it just happens. And in late nights when they’re all alone, they will be replaying the scenes, trying to see it from your point of view, trying to see how they can make it up to you if it’s their mistake.
You remind them of their childhood, probably their ideal type when they were a kid, since we have a childhood card here. They probably had a dream of dancing with their future spouse and just wanted to ask you out for a dance some day, though I have no idea how and when but yeah. Or maybe you can ask them out for a dance in the living room with some nice music playing. That would be great too!
Your person doesn’t tell you their thoughts, their fantasies they have for you cuz they’re afraid of you judging them, so there’s this fear that I’m seeing where they worry if you leave them, since you’re such an amazing person and there may be other suitors who are interested in you. They’re a sensitive person and can be slightly low in their self-esteem, questioning how someone as wonderful as you would be interested in them.
Dear Pile 1, I hope you understand that these MAY be the thoughts that goes through the mind of your person, and I wish and pray that you’ll be able to give them the assurance they need and help them little by little with their self esteem. As someone who’s been through that, personally, I know that self esteem is something that can’t be built overnight. Your person is also working on it with the Magician at the bottom of the deck. It will work if you both work together.
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Pile 2
Hello Pile 2! Your person is a huuuuuge sweetheart who’s deadass thinking of getting married to you. They think of you as their whole world and just want to proceed into the next stage of life/relationship with you even in the earlier months of dating. I honestly have no idea what else to say. The cards flipped themselves out and just wanted you to know that your person loves you like there’s no tomorrow, as the Lovers and Two of Cups came out. These two cards are one of the best to pop up when there’s a love related reading and… Here they are!
Not to mention there’s also Juno, a card that talks about partnership, which further solidifies my suspicions of them wanting to marry you. They honestly can’t wait and may even practice marriage proposals inside their head. They are imagining how the lives of you two together may be, how it’s like for them to be walking into a new future with you, how it is like to achieve a common goal (family) together.
You make them weak. The thought of you just makes them have giddy smiles all over, not giving a single care if anyone sees them looking like a starstruck fool. It makes sense tho, seeing how you’ve freed them from whatever that has been holding them back, allowing them to charge forward to pursue you.
Your person is shy to ask for the reciprocation of their feelings. It’s like… They love you a lot, and a little love from you can keep them continuing to love you more and more as the days pass by. They won’t feel defeated as long as you’re by their side. Remember to love them as much as they love you okay?
For some reason, it feels like your person has an air of authority and mystery over them? They’re probably someone who’s also authoritative at work or the more dominant person in the relationship, steering and guiding you through the ups and downs of this relationship.
Dear Pile 2, I can see your person is really reaaalllllyyyyy wanting to marry you You’ll need to remember to voice out your thoughts if you’re not interested in marriage, or you’re not ready for that yet.
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Pile 3
Yo Pile 3! Not gonna lie, your pile is giving me sexy and nsfw vibes. Your person is probably someone older than you and much experienced in you in any and every way, life or even sex. This pile literally made me have that 👀 eyes cuz the cards are giving me that energy (cues KAI’s Mmmh). They wanted to do so many things to you, but they had to hold back, because they know you’re still inexperienced. They had to stop themselves from thinking about it cuz it makes them slightly upset that they got to take things slow even when they love you so much, but they’re willing to wait. They’re willing to court you. They mean it. They love you so much that they’re willing to put their wants aside.
You make them weak in the knees, they’re literally weak for you. There will be some indecisiveness on thinking where do they want to bring you, or what y’all should do for the next date, or what to eat when y’all hang out the next time. This is because they want to give you the best, not to mention that you’re always in their head. In the end, they’ll just stop being indecisive and decide that doing all of them would be the best option.
As smart as they may be, they’re always imagining scenes in their head and practicing the words they want to say to you. It’s like they have no idea how to really charm you with their words when you’re with them and they’re determined to do it better. The best way to do it? Imaginary practice. Though they still might fail cuz I have a feeling that you’re the type to act slightly different from what they expected.
Dear Pile 3, you are their source of fun, their source of joy, and they just want to achieve every single happiness and to enjoy them with you, their beloved. They just want to experience everything with you and want you by their side to be participating in their life. It’s a cute energy yet a hot one at the same time I don’t know how this is possible.
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Thanks for reading until the end! Feedbacks and reblogs are appreciated!
Y’all can drop by my Instagram here if you’re interested as well! I’ll be posting different types of PACs over there in the future but will also post more here I guess lmAO
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