#only to be replaced with other assassin dudes...

[murmishhy]

I had this headcanon that Orin makes these bloodthirsty remarks to Gortash because that's how Durge used to talk to him. She is trying to torture Gortash with the same lines Durge used on him, hoping to break him, but since Durge is gone, Gortash rarely loses control. The same lines that used to provoke him now make him want to throw up. Gortash is still a tyrant, and the loss of his dearest probably upsets him. However, he was alone but fine before them, so he will be fine after them, again. He's so close to triumph that he probably isn't considering his plans could even fail. A rogue true soul? He thinks they are just a hindrance, but once that true soul shows up at his door, he's doomed. He can work alone and achieve his goals, but once Durge enters Wyrm's Rock Castle, he remembers how much he doesn't want to be alone anymore. How much he wants to share the triumph with his equal, his nearest, his dearest. He doesn't care if they remember; he doesn't care if they want to stop him. He still wants them by his side, even though all their actions are against the Absolute. He still offers them a share in his victory. Like, my dude, your lovely assassin just killed Ketheric, an immortal general who is Myrkul's Chosen. They don't care about your plan; they're coming for you next. Plus, Durge is one hell of a charmer; they singlehandedly convinced all their enemies to kill themselves. Gortash must know how they can deceive their enemies, yet he still chooses to trust they’ll work with him. He's definitely lost control at this point. He's no longer fine with Orin usurping Durge's place. He's no longer fine with Orin being alive. He doesn't even see that his equal isn't looking at him the same way they used to. He doesn't realize that his equal's eyes turn to one of their companions, seeking comfort and advice when he offers to be partners again. He doesn't pick up on hints he normally would because once Durge, the only one he considers his equal, enters the hall, he's no longer Bane's Chosen, the terrifying tyrant, or the brilliant inventor. He's the child abandoned by his parents, the child who craves love and appreciation, the child who blindly trusts the adults in his life. Gortash thrives when he's alone; he uses people, makes plans, and follows through. That's his coping mechanism; he was always alone, and he doesn't trust others as a result. But Durge changes something in him, something he's not even aware is there. He trusts them, almost childishly, to be by his side, just like a child believes their parents will always be there for them. Deep down, Gortash is still the same child who's terrified of being alone. He's still the same child who thinks his parents actually loved him, hoping they would come back and take him away from Raphael. Just like his parents never came to save him, Durge, too, won't save him, ever again. Gortash isn't offering Durge an agreement to use them or to replace the unpredictable Orin; he offers them a place by his side because he needs them. Because he's lost control and because he's still the same child who wants to be loved. Just like how Durge once lost control and with it, their life, Gortash is doomed to follow in their footsteps. They are just children who were not loved and who were used. One broke free of the cycle. One healed, was forgiven, and even found a healthier love. But the other wasn't given a choice. The other didn't have a chance to change and be forgiven. The other had to die alone and suffer for eternity, just as he suffered his whole life.

And now I'm crying.

[mmani-e]

Can you tell us more about Sparkling Justice in your Talentswap AU?

Sure thing! Sparkling Justice is Makoto's murderous serial killer alter in the AU, and unlike Genocide Jill, Sparkling Justice is unnerving and silent most the time, with a near ever-present smile. Unlike Makoto, who uses his words to make the world a nicer, happier place, Sparkling Justice is pure action, and fights and kills all the evil folk Makoto feels are deserving of justice deep, deep down.

He was created as a result of a long, long time of suppressing bad emotions, the catalyst of which was a kidnapping Makoto suffered when he was a child, ever since then he'd found it much easier to just push away bad feelings rather than act on them, distracting himself with happy stories he'd write to convince himself the world is as nice as he is. When it's not and things get too hard to bear, Sparkling Justice shows up to act on all the things Makoto secretly believes the worst of society is deserving of.

Just like in canon, he only targets serial killers, though this time opting to stalk them for prolonged periods of time before ending them swiftly with his so-called "truth bullets."

In the events of the first killing game, Kyoko - after some conversation with Makoto - deduces his identity as the framed Sparkling Justice, who - despite her protests - decides to reveal his true identity in the class trial, wherein he says almost nothing...

All the while staring menacingly at Mukuro the whole time...

His design is vaguely inspired by Takumi Hajirahara (heavily implied to be the real sparkling justice) and Makoto from Kodaka's other game, Rain Code.

Along with Swordsman Nagito, who pretends to be Genocider Syo in Demix 2, and Geriatric Caretaker Kiibo, who is discovered to be the ultimate Assassin via the discovery of his sleeper agent codeword by Tenko in Demix V3 (name still tba), are part of the "serial killer dudes" type of character that replace Toko, Peko, and Maki in the main series.

[princessvickie]

PERSONAL STRIKER HEADCANNONS ♡‧₊˚

(general, romantic, physical.)

note : ahh i’ve been wanting to write about him for a while :,3333 my little snake dude !!!-!-!!—!! i freaking love him sm !! might write about him and my oc sooooown;)) this isn’t proof read sorry:(

THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR HELLUVA BOSS EPS IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY WATCHED THE SHOW.

General

୨୧ I feel like Striker would be demisexual/romantic. He’d probably only be intimate with somebody after he put his whole trust and faith in them. It’s implied by S2 Ep4 that he’s lost the people that he cared about before, so It’s an explanation for his hostility. I also think he’d be Bisexual like js look at that one scene in Harvest Moon like i know he was trying to manipulate Blitz butttt;))..

୨୧ Loves mud fights and fist fights, won’t elaborate on this;).

୨୧ While rewatching Harvest Moon Festival, Striker looks a bit old fashioned and traditional compared to the other Imps. So i believe that he def gets his style from watching old western movies when he has the time.

୨୧ Constantly trying to get money for business phones, but he always breaks all of them in a fit of rage (a little canon).

୨୧ Fucking loves Bombproof with every fiber in his body and treats him like a baby in private, also I feel like he’d own more horses and call them his family.

୨୧ FAWKING LOVES HORSERIDING COMPETITIONS!!!! he almost always wins and then shows off Bombproof but never lets anybody touch him.

୨୧ Bombproof is def his main way of transportation but he’d probably have to drive a car once in a while. (he’s absolutely reckless and his vehicle is literally on life support and barely even working)

୨୧ His gold tooth is a souvenir and shines insanely bright.. he also wants to lose more teeth to replace them with prosthetic gold ones.

୨୧ Decent penmanship, despite his reckless and crazy personality. It’s not the best.. but at-least it’s legible…

Romantic

୨୧ In the scenario that he’d be in a relationship with somebody, he’d probably be a bit harsh/ or even cruel at first. He hasn’t experienced that type of shit in a while so he’s grown to know intimacy as a stranger. Striker has a tough shell.

୨୧ Once he’s warmed up to that person, he’d be super overprotective. He doesn’t want to lose another person, and to experience that grief again. Striker wouldn’t be the perfect partner because he still has some flaws within his personality due to being previously scarred, but he’d def ensure that the person he’s romantically involved in is comfortable and reciprocates the same feelings as well.

୨୧ Overall, Striker’s a bit inexperienced with romantic concepts but not completely unfamiliar with it. He wouldn’t mind showing affection, such as occasional cuddles or words of praise.

୨୧ also extra if he were to be your roommate, he’d be extremely messy.. like look at his lair shit is everywhere 😭.

Physical

୨୧ DEF MORE ROUGH AND MESSY HAIRRR. Work gets in the way of his personal hygiene and sometimes he forgets to cut it, making it grow a bit longer. Also fighting takes a lot of effort so no doubt it’s messy 😭.

୨୧ Longer gloves, maybe even normal non-fingerless ones. Striker kills people for a living and he’s legally wanted so I don’t think he’d leave his fingerprints behind that easily.

୨୧ Doesn’t always fight with his jacket, sometimes fights get messsyyy and he doesn’t have the time to keep washing it.

୨୧ okay sorry if I get bashed on this but I prefer norman reedus as his va.. NO HATE TO EDDD I FREAKING LOVE HIM BUT I LIKE THE HIGHER, RASPIER VOICE..

୨୧ snake-imp. Personally I don’t believe Striker to be half shark but everybody has their own headcannons. I also think he’d possess more animalistic features, such as moving around more snake-like and slithery.. def does this to confuse his targets,, like one moment he’s here and then u blink and he’s literally gone.

୨୧ honestly I feel like he’d have more scars on his body, especially his forearm/general arm area. He’s a literal assassin it’d be a little unbelievable if he didn’t have any remarkable scars.. and I also feel like he’d have one specific scar he’d show off and forget about all the other ones he has. but this is just my humble opinion!!!

[mediumstrength]

SXF MANGA REREAD: CHAPTER 1

The conclusion of the second season has left me alone and bereft please join me as I fill the void.

We start with some bitchin spy action

oh shit

Truly the first few chapters are why I think you see so many people upset about the series settling into a slow burn family comedy. You start off with some juicy Hollywood movie shit here. Assassination! Straight off the bat! Cars careening off bridges! Great stuff.

Now, it’s time for a little quick exposition. We got two countries, they don’t like each other, they are using spies, blah blah.

SHODDY WORLDBUILDING:

In Japanese they are straight up written Eastern Country and Western Country (with “Ostania” and “Westalis”) in furigana. Tatsuya Endo, please.

There is one spy who’s the best tho

Here he is!! It’s our boy!!

He’s bamboozled that bad guy out of those silly pictures!! Time to also be mean to the dude’s daughter.

lol what a dick

A NOTE ON FASHION:

“Robert” is not as fashionable as “Loid,” the double breasted suit was already on the way out in the early 60s (The SXF vibe seems to be early 60s? Except when it isn’t?) being replaced by the single breasted suits we generally see him wearing. Edgar also is wearing a double breasted suit, but he doesn’t seem like the type to worry about fashion trends.

Loid however does seem to really care about looking sharp, and I’m proud of him for that. It’s basically his only non spy-related interest. Maybe someday he will have two interests!

Loid gives Karen a new complex, and then waltzes out of her life. Onto the next mission!

SHODDY WORDBUILDING:

Berlint 😂

On the train to Berlint, Loid learns that he has to become a fake dad for silly bullshit reasons that are vital to world peace. This silly bullshit is called Operation Strix, and it is so, so important. The most important mission ever.

I wonder if there’s some significance to the name Strix? It’s a mythological creature, but also a genus of owl. In Japanese it’s written 梟, which literally means owl, so maybe the mythological part is not intended?? I want to know more.

The early art is weird at times

ON THE SPELLING “LOID”:

I hate it.

The real estate guy asks him if he has a girl or a boy, and he says he doesn’t know yet. I feel like I should hate these jokes where Loid says something mind-blowingly suspicious, but I actually love it every time.

Anyhow! On to step two: secure a child.

Tatsuya Endo has a real talents for making just the most detestable jerks. I love to hate you, drunk shitty orphanage guy!

It’s her!! It’s Anya!! The early art is, again, a little weird here.

The absurdly hard crossword puzzle is such a good gag.

Daughter acquired!

ON THE TRANSLATION “PAPA”:

I love it. There’s no real equivalent to “chichi” in English, so they went with something that means dad, but is also a little weird and a little baby talk-y. Perfect. I watched a couple episodes of a fan sub of the anime, and they translated it as “Daddy” which is cute but is simply not weird enough. Anya is a Weird Little Girl.

Anya immediately begins helping, by acting deeply weird and suspicious. We love it.

I love that Spy Wars is just always on somehow.

Onwards! They go out and do some shopping! Anya is a lot! Loid doesn’t understand her! He goes to his local library about it, which is kind of adorable? And gives an early glimpse into a fundamental aspect of his character. With enough information, Loid can accomplish anything. He is certain of this. He has built his whole life around this concept.

LOID HAS NEVER HAD FUN IN HIS LIFE:

You are accidentally playing hide and seek with your daughter somehow, with no idea that it is even happening. Amazing.

Anyhow he finally barricades her in the fucking house lol

It’s Franky!! I love you, Franky.

He tells Loid that his new kid legally does not exist, and has been returned to the orphanage 4 times, and Loid decides not to look further into any of that. Greatest spy in the west.

Meanwhile Anya is causing problems. I love her.

Edgar is back, which doesn’t make sense because the Edgar stuff was happening in another city, but I guess Edgar is just also in Berlint now for some reason.

We get a brief flashback to Anya’s time as an Eleven-style lab rat, which is sad. What does “studying” entail? I think we will all be sad when we find out ☹️

Loid returns and we are treated to a sick. ass. fight. Loid takes a guy out with a can of tuna. He breaks a chair over a dude’s head. I think there was some commentary from Endo (maybe in Eyes Only?) about how using improvised weapons just hits harder. We know more about cans of tuna than guns or whatever. We can imagine what taking a tuna can to the face would feel like.

What a dick.

Anyhow, Loid bamboozles the same guy with the same trick a second time, bravely rescuing Anya, and now it is time for a sad flashback

Don’t cry, little german boy.

Anyhow, the world where kids don’t cry thing should be so corny, but they really pull it off somehow.

For some reason he decides to walk back into danger and beat those guys up?

When did he have time to set these traps??

Sick

Loid kicks everyone’s asses, and then, there’s Anya waiting for him, and she wants to stay with him. This is the moment. This is the moment where he realized, subconsciously, that he loves her. Consciously is still a work in progress. But like, he already cares about her so much. It’s been been like 2 days, and he’s gone from “I hate kids” to “I can’t abandon this little girl who I callously adopted to use for my own purposes”

(…This is the plot of the Despicable Me, isn’t it?)

This little scene on the streetcar warms my heart. Papa is a cool liar.

Ok, jesus christ this chapter is long. I didn’t realize that we also have getting into Eden happening the first chapter??

Anya takes the entrance exam, her cheating plan, as usual, does not really work out, but she does her best and she passes.

Loid experiences a single moment of relief and collapses 😂 The man is so powered by sheer anxiety that his body doesn’t know how to react.

Anya gets the mail, there is a little cute cuddling, and then, the kicker! We need a mama!!

Chapter rating 4/5

A little too much stuff happens in this first chapter, on reread. The streetcar scene is such a logical ending! The Eden test, and then the subsequent complication of needing 2 parents felt tacked on, almost like that should have been padded out a little and made its own chapter, but also I am eager to get to my girl Yor so 🤷‍♀️

Looking back on some of their earlier interactions, Loid has not been thinking through Strix logically from the start. This kid has no birth certificate, and she has been repeatedly returned to the orphanage like a naughty puppy for no obvious reason. She is (allegedly) 6 and she solved a crossword where one of the words was “symplectomorphism” with no adult assistance?? There are some questions he should be asking here, but instead he’s buying her posters and snacks.

He hasn’t had anything to love in so long, you guys. He’s going to love this kid with everything he has, it’s just going to be a long, long time before he understands that it’s love.

[unforth]

I'm reading this manhua on Bilibili called "The Reincarnation of the Influential Courtier," which is a historical transmigration BL political drama. The mc is an imperial examinee with lots of promise...but he gets replaced by a modern guy who only has the vaguest idea what he's doing, and is managing using his wits and the thousand-some-odd years of culture he's vaguely familiar with that haven't happened yet.

I'm enjoying it...except all the potential gongs, of whom there are at least 5 so far (the emperor, the crown prince, the other imperial prince, the assassin he saved, and the creepy guard) look basically the same, so I can't for the life of me figure out which of these men is the ml. 🤣

Like, this is the cover:

And these are pictures of FIVE DIFFERENT CHARACTERS. YES REALLY.

Who is the gong???

I have absolutely no idea. The one who most resembles the picture is the creepy guard, which seems unlikely. The crown prince has been flirting, the imperial prince assaulted him, the assassin has offered to kill for him, and the emperor just had him beaten then tried to promote him. Like, dude is absolutely gathering himself a harem. I just wish I could figure out based on the cover who wins. 🤣🤣🤣

[the-archangel]

It's My (Halloween) Party

Halloween fluff (mostly) with a NSFW middle bit!

“It’s fine V, honestly, it’s fine. I knew that in the end this is what would have to happen and so did you. I’m ready, it’s fine.”

V looks Johnny in the eye, the usual smug look had been replaced with one more sombre and thoughtful.

“Shit Johnny, I’m so sorry, but don’t you think you’re over-reacting the tiniest bit? I mean, I’m literally going to be gone for three days, I promise I’ll spend the day with you on Friday.”

“But it’s Hallowe’en tomorrow V, I wanted to take it all in, dress up and shit, y’know?”

“I know, I do, but you can always decorate the apartment. Hey, why not have a party? Get dressed up, invite your friends, it’ll be fun.”

Johnny huffs non-committally, he does love a party, he might struggle with the friends part though. “I got a costume, see what you think?”

V nods and settles back on the couch and a few minutes later a subtly changed Johnny re-enters the room. V looks at his friend’s black suit, shirt and tie combo quizzically, “Who’re you supposed to be?”

“I’m an old-school assassin, like in that movie we saw where he killed that dude with a library book.”

“Shit yeah! That’s pretty good. If you put away the shit-eating grin and worked on harassed and homicidal you’d look just like him.” V laughs.

“Thank you for your valuable feedback.” Johnny spits before stalking back to the wardrobe.

-

Kerry is also in a wardrobe, albeit a much larger, more glamourous one. This Hallowe’en is going to be epic and he and V need outfits to match. There is already a pretty impressive pile of discarded clothes and exotic costumes, but nothing seems quite right.

V had tried helping at first, unearthing pirate costumes and elegant military gear from long-forgotten videos and declaring it all perfect, but hot as V looked in the sexy highwayman outfit, none of it was vibing with Kerry so the outfit was abandoned with the rest – only a little torn by its somewhat hasty removal. So, V is returning home in good spirits, oblivious to the increasingly frustrated mood of his husband.

“Hey Ker, you still upstairs?” V shouts.

A muffled, “M,hm,” comes from somewhere above him. Taking the steps two at a time and entering the closet, V tries not to smirk at the picture before him: world-famous Rockerboy Kerry Eurodyne sat in his underpants and a black feather boa pouting in a maelstrom of abandoned ideas.

V carefully picks his way over to the comically dejected looking man and sits behind wrapping his arms around his shoulders and grimaces through the pain of the coat hanger currently digging into his upper thigh. “It’s OK Ker, I’ll drive us into the City Center, buy lunch, look for costumes…”

Kerry cuts him off, “No! There’s something here, I can feel it, I just can’t find it.”

V pulls him closer burying his face in the older man’s neck, mostly to hide the chuckle. “Ditch this for a couple of hours, we can come back to it later, we need to pack for tomorrow’s trip.”

The other man looks momentarily startled, he’d been trying to forget about the record company shindig in NY he’d agreed to host, only finally agreeing because there’d be chooms there he hadn’t seen in a few years – and because of the preem Hallowe-en party of course. “Sure, I suppose,” he says, reluctantly letting the boa fall to the floor and allowing V to help him up, not that he needed help of course.

-

V flicks a note to Johnny when they’re on the way to the airport, Kerry sighing and rolling his eyes as he does so. “I just don’t want him to worry.” Explains the ex-merc.

“You don’t want him bugging you all day asking if you’ve set off yet ya mean.” Mutters the Rockerboy.

Johnny reads the message sullenly, last Hallowe’en was a wash out what with hospital stays (him), hissy fits (Kerry) and psychological evaluations by the bucketful (him and V), he wanted this one to count. Asking around various bars had given him a few leads to some preem parties, but none of them were quite what he was looking for, too controlled, not enough mayhem, maybe he wouldn’t bother after all, just throw himself into some work and forget about the whole thing. Fucking Kerry spoiling his fun again.

The Afterlife is buzzing, especially for a Tuesday morning which is often the quietest part of the week, prolly everyone wanting to conclude business before the evening shenanigans begin Johnny thinks curling his lip. He heads towards a couple of chooms in a corner booth and begins to talk biz.

-

Dragging the cases to the cab whilst Kerry expansively describes the hotel they’ll be staying in, V quickly pings off another message to Johnny, ‘En route to hotel, any plans yet?’ but no reply is immediately forthcoming so he takes his seat and looks out at the crumbling skyscrapers of New York that remind him so much of home.

Kerry’s voice brings him back to the moment, “Do you think we made the right choice?”

Baffled, V looks for clues in his husband’s face, does he mean in coming to NY, or picking this hotel, or getting a cat, or, well the list is pretty long of things they may regret one day. “Nope, you’ve lost me.”

“Of costumes ya gonk, what else could I be talking about?”

V lets out a breath and grins, “Course, everyone’s gonna be blown away.”

“Ya think? It’s not going to come across as a little, I dunno, low effort?”

V grips Kerry’s hand even tighter than he already is, “Babe, no one is gonna care about anything other than how fucking awesome we look, it’s not even worth thinking about.”

Sinking into his husband’s arms, Kerry smiles and looks up into the ex-merc’s eyes, “You’re one choice I’m never gonna regret,” he whispers huskily before planting a kiss on V’s bearded chin and snoozing for the rest of the ride.

-

Back in NC, Johnny is in the shower after a seemingly straightforward gig that turned unexpectedly messy. Picking the bits of Scav bone out of his matted hair is taking longer than he anticipated, he grunts with satisfaction as each one hits the floor of the shower.

Finally feeling reasonably presentable he searches the apartment for his jacket, he’s finally found the perfect party, he’s ditched the costume, he very much wants to look recognisable as himself when he walks in. “Fucking thing, where’s it gone?” he mutters to himself as he turns the room upside-down. Sitting on the bed and scanning the room, he frowns as he notices V’s battered old ‘Second Conflict’, jacket on the back of the chair, the October air is too cool to go jacketless, so “Fuck,” he sighs as he shrugs on the offending item and leaves into the Hallowe’en afternoon smog.

-

For the more formal, earlier part of the evening, Kerry has chosen a powder blue shot-silk evening suit and for V a matching one in teal, V is leaning heavily on the dressing table clinging onto the edge with one hand and gently stroking Kerry’s hair with the other as the Rockerboy expertly and enthusiastically sucks on his cock. “You look so hot in that suit Ker,” V purrs between gasps, “hope I didn’t hurt your knees pushing you down on the floor like that.”

Kerry pulls away from the object of his obsession for a moment, a string of drool and precum connecting them still, “You know I’d crawl over broken glass to get to your dick,” he smirks running his tongue up the underside and grinning as V shivers, “but I will get my own back ‘bout the crack about my knees later.” V chuckles, then gasps as his length disappears into Kerry’s warm, willing mouth.

“Five-minute call Mr. Eurodyne,” a runner calls through the door just as V groans and Kerry swallows, he licks his lips and kisses his husband deeply.

-

Johnny is on the street looking over at the warehouse where the party is to be held in a few hours’ time. He’s rolled up pretty early since he’s unfamiliar with this part of Watson and wants to make sure he makes a big entrance dead on time later. Satisfied that he has identified the main entrance and any exits he may need for whatever reason he retires to a nearby bar, orders a tequila and checks his messages.

Despite still being pretty pissed at V for disappearing over the holidays, he grins when he sees his message, “Heck yeah!!” he replies and settles in for a couple of hours while he waits for the party to begin.

-

V basks in the reflected glow from his husband as Kerry charmingly ad-libs his way through introductions and conversations, finishing with him disappearing in a puff of smoke whilst a spooky instrumental version of Dark Matter is played allowing him to grab V and rush back to the dressing room to get changed for the party proper.

“Still not sure about this Vince,” says Kerry pulling on and adjusting the wig he spent many hours choosing and having styled just right, “but it is spooky how much you look like him, got his mannerisms down and everything. Gives me the creeps if I’m honest.”

Looking in the mirror, V has to agree that the make-up artist, who is now working on Kerry, has done a preem job, unsettlingly so in fact. “It’s supposed to give you the creeps, it’s Hallowe’eeeeeen,” he replies in his best spooky voice. After a last critical look in the mirror V grabs his jacket and leans on the doorframe having a smoke waiting for Kerry to be ready. The make up guy does a couple of last adjustments and stands back whilst Kerry plays with his Kiroshis to get just the right eye color and stands to look in the full-length mirror.

He's almost mesmerised by what he sees there, “You’re a fucking genius Terry,” he tells the make-up guy, eyes never leaving the mirror.

V comes up behind him and slips his arms around his waist, “I honestly don’t know if it’s wrong to feel like this, but you look so fucking hot right now.”

Kerry turns in his arms and looks for V’s eyes, but finds only his own reflection in the lenses of his glasses, “V honey, it’s never wrong to tell me I look hot.”

-

 People have started arriving to the party in Watson, Johnny nurses his drink and watches through the grimy window of the bar, waiting for the perfect time to make his entrance. He checks the pistol in his jacket, hefts his duffel bag onto his shoulder and makes his way over, avoiding being seen until he reaches the camera over the doorway to which he gives a one-fingered salute before heading inside.

It's maybe not what most people would call a party, mostly there are heavily chromed Maelstrommers hunched over laptops or having heavy conversations at tables, but as far as Johnny Silverhand is concerned anywhere where you can drink and have fun is a party, he’s already done the drinking part, now he’s ready for the fun.

He’d made it in and up the stairs without being spotted, clearly they’re all too busy to check the cameras, good. Standing just inside the doorway to the goon-filled open space beyond Johnny drops the bag pulling out V’s favourite SMG, Fenrir – perfect for these over-chromed gonks – and with something less flashy as a backup he kicks open the door, spraying bullets as he strides forwards.

Not being complete idiots, most of the gangers flee through the fire exit and disperse into the night, that’s fine, he’s not here to kill particularly, he’s here to collect. A couple of crumpled bodies impede his entrance slightly, but he grins as a metallic voice whines, “Shit, it’s Johnny Silverhand,” he makes his way towards the injured goon.

A couple of the guys don’t seem to have got the message, a well-placed bullet re-acquaints them with it, a couple more decide to try to be heroes, a casually hurled grenade finishes them off, finally it’s just Johnny and his quarry and a nervous woman who appears to be the girlfriend.

“You Taser?” the merc asks lighting a cigarette, well-aware of how this illuminates his scowling face.

“Leave him alone,” the woman shrieks coming at Johnny with impressively sharp steel nails unsheathed, “or I’ll fuck that pretty face right up.”

“Aw, she thinks I’m pretty,” Johnny says as he slows her down with a spray of bullets to the legs.

“Shit, dude!” screams Taser covering his head with his arms and smearing the blood dripping from his chest over his face.

Johnny looks into a face that is mostly polished chrome with two red pin-pricks that he guesses must be eyes. “Brick says you owe him, and you owe him big. He wants his Eddies.”

Taser gulps, “But…” Johnny’s pistol presses uncomfortably into his abdomen, “Shit, fine,” his eyes glow violet for a moment, “it’s done, tell him it’s fucking done.”

“We thank you for your co-operation,” Johnny offers as he leaves.

-

Over in New York, the party is also in full swing, the media swarm around the red-carpeted entrance to the ballroom cooing over the guest’s costumes and analysing their choices. The short journey from their room to the party is a tense one for Kerry, still unsure if anyone will even get their costumes, never mind dig them. Hand in hand, he and V leave the elevator and turn the corner onto the carpet, dozens of heads turn, they’d been waiting for his arrival, not only is he a huge star, but his costume never disappoints. He wasn’t sure what he expected, but the gasps, laughs and applause are not unwelcome.

For the occasion, V has replaced his synth-skin chrome arm for an older, silver model, red shades and a dark, shoulder-length wig add to the look, but it’s the ‘borrowed’ clothes – leather trousers, Samurai tank and the iconic jacket – and immaculate mannerisms that really make the resemblance extraordinary.

Kerry had spent ages getting the bandana just so around his thick, curly dark hair. Terry had done an amazing job with the facial hair and tattoos and somehow made him look thirty all over again. The moment of inspiration had come as he put the pile of clothes back into the closet the previous day, his old leather vest had slipped from its hanger as he shuffled past with his armful of rejected outfits and on picking it up something akin to a lighting bolt hit him, Kerry Eurodyne and Johnny Silverhand finally together again after fifty years.

The crowd lapped it up, especially when they stop for a very wet, passionate and long kiss, tomorrow’s screamsheet headlines are just writing themselves.

-

Having collected his payment for a job well done, Johnny makes his way through town, stopping briefly to change before making his way to the Afterlife and the private party he was about to crash. The feeds on the street caught his eye, he stands clenching has cigarette between thin lips as he watches the footage beamed from New York, he was definitely going to have to have a very serious word with V later.

-

The party was awesome, Kerry had kept his crown as the King of Hallowe’en and V was having a lot of fun channelling Johnny again for one night. Back in their room, the Rockerboy throws himself onto the bed chatting animatedly about how awesome the evening was while V sits beside him, smiling at how happy they both are and remembering how lucky he is.

“Y’know,” says V resting his hand on his husband’s chest, “Rock God Kerry is my guy, but this version is still doing it for me.” Kerry scowls at first, but is soon smiling again as V’s hand slides down his torso and into his jeans, “Keep the costume on for a while huh?” he asks, running his tongue around a pert nipple.

Kerry closes his eyes and moans softly, but then opens them and pulls himself up into a seated position, evicting a confused V from his chest, “You’re gonna have to get changed, the thought of Johnny anywhere near my cock is putting me off,” he growls.

V snickers, Johnny would love to know he was cock-blocking him from the other side of the country, “Course Ker, gimme a minute.” The ‘borrowed’ clothes drop to the floor, the shades and wig come off and the make-up is wiped away, a few minutes later a fresh-faced V comes back to four angry messages from Johnny and a gently snoring husband, it’s OK he decides curling up next to his man, it can all wait til morning.

[a-s-levynn]

JOOO you used to sell swords?? That's so cool!!! If you feel like reminiscing and using this as an opportunity to tell everyone about that very awsome sounding job, I would love to hear about it :D if not just take this as me being a tumblr mutual who wants to be your friend now even more 😂 swords are so cooool

I sure did! Oooh my god. You have no ide what sort of pandora's box you've opened. I love talking weaponry. I also spent an unreasonably long time trying to dig up old pics.

So i snatched this unreal job by a total accident. During uni, a friend of a friend of mine were preparing to go to study abroad for a few months and needed a temporary replacement. And when we met for the first time, half jokingly asked if i liked swords. Yes, yes i do find all kinds of blades incredibly sexy thank you very much. And not a lot of time later i was sitting behind the counter. And stayed there for roughly three years.

It was a sword and decorational weaponry shop. I mean it still is. But i may talk about it past tense because i'm not there anymore. 😭 We had like functional swords and daggers for HEMA and other traditional stuff. Lots and lots of katanas and a few wakizashis and tantos for martial arts or just for decour. We even had like the long ones.. what are they called.. odachi and nodachi! And that sort of spear like a guandao, naginata. There were khukri knives as well. Modern knives.. A lot of stuff. And then decorational stuff from movies, anime or video games for just to put on a wall or elevate a cosplay.

Even decorational fire arms up until modern stuff. Altho fire arms where strictly decorational items, manufactures in ways that they were safe and unchangable into usable stuff. And a fewfigures, jewellery and some tarot cards and some other nick-nacks that fit the theme.

I don't have access to my drives at the moment but i found some old pictures.

Okay so this was the second showroom, i can't find picture of the old one, i liked that one better but there was a location change and this one is smaller, less packed. But still the important parts are there. These pictures are about 3 years old as well at this point.

Please note the little knight with the megaphone in the corner on the monitor. I designed that one. Precious friend shaped little dude.

This picture is Ezio's dagger from Assassin's Creed. It's not dirty just freshly out of the shipping box, swimming in grease to protect it from rusting. This one was a functional piece. The handle seems wide but it's not disproportionate, only my hands are small.

But we had like.. i dunno sabers of many kinds..and chinese swords with rigid blades to those weird but really fun floppy ones as well.

That green wall belonged to the old showroom my beloved 😭

Also there were pieces of armour and all. Not just full but chainmails and roman style, shields. Bows and Crossbows. Basically everything.

And like besides the selling and online customer service stuff, i did a lot of polishing, i probably enjoyed that the most. Of course the heavier damage or problems were handled by proper craftsmen but a simple polishing job? Gimme! -insert grubby hands- I'm gonna spend half a day on it but you gonna see yourself in it. Like this below. The left side is still unpolished, all foggy, but see the right? You can see the red shirt guy pretty good already. This helmet was so pretty after i was finished with it. I was so proud. 😭

And then there were some modern stuff. With these i also did the smaller mechanical epairs like a jammed spring or a loose trigger and the like.

This beretta was the first i took apart but i conquered it like a champ 😂 I was asking my boss if i could give it a try and he said as long as i don't break any additional parts go a head. Needless to say the second little guy landed in my lap without any question.

And there were so many other little highlights. I loved so many of the customers. I loved talking about their stuff or just listening to their stories. Uhh i miss it so much i can't even begin.

[bitegore]

new game + 33 and 100 pls?

33: Every Lie by My Darkest Days

This is a really generic breakup song but I like to sort of deliberately side-interpret things that aren't explicitly ruled against, and I was forced to read a biography that was 80% cheesy spy novel bullshit instead of factual yesterday so it's on the mind and I just watched an interesting g1 episode with Mirage, so all of that comes together to mean that I'd like to interpret shit like

Surrounded by every lie that won't come true Now you wanna take the time, now why would you? Think you're gonna make it right, but how could you? So I can't stay, surrounded by (surrounded by) every lie

through the (to-me) more interesting lens of spy shit.

Jazz is kind of the archetypal Bondian spy, and if you tie yourself into knots (read the lyrics closely while ignoring the tone for point and idea, then flip the pronouns from "I" to "you" and use that for tone) a little bit, you can make the case for this being a Bondian "cool epic gigachad coolguy dude gets the secrets and also finds the hottest girl in the building and has sex with her and she turns out to be an enemy spy who falls in love with him and can't do her job right" type story, and just focus in on that last bit.

Making Soundwave the Bond girl is immediately appealing but also really low-hanging and not that interesting. So I'm leaning toward either Rumble and/or Frenzy or Ravage, suddenly discovering their loyalties are under much more strain than they thought they were. And of course Megatron is Mr Evil Genius or whatever and shit.

From there it's all about writing Jazz and Jazz and not Jazz as Mr James Bond In Metal Now, and playing up the contrast between the actual plot (tv drama goofy shit) and his brain ("am i supposed to be believing this? did you get this idea from a tv drama?") for humor

100: A Little Faster by There For Tomorrow

There is literally nowhere I can go with this that doesn't end at Starscream -> Megatron in some way. I think what I'm thinking is. like. Early IDW, so a break from the new normal from me, I suppose, lol - in the very brief era where Starscream was an apparent fanboy of Megatron's work in the gladiatorial ring.

Starscream and Megatron are distant friends and close coworkers. Megatron is a figurehead already, and Starscream is efficient and effective and they work less as Megatron over Starscream so much as Megatron+Starscream - one team, planning things out. In these days Starscream and Megatron are equals.

There's a sequence of this - five or six scenes, maybe, at most a thousand words - detailing Megatron asking Starscream's advice, them slowly getting to know each other, Starscream being turned to before Megatron as the military voice in the room alongside Soundwave. Power clustering where Starscream believes he deserves it, around his fingers.

Then we skip ahead - to the early-mid war period, before Cybertron is uninhabitable but reaching a point for certain. This one is short - Starscream looking out across Cybertron's melting skyline, over the heads of a bunch of other commanders in a meeting, as everyone clamors for Megatron's opinion on some tactic and no one asks him. He's not the only mission commander any more, and he's not the only military mind. He's not irreplaceable, and he's finding that out as he's being replaced.

Then toward later, near the beginning of what happens on Earth with the whole serious-assassination-attempt deal.

Only now do we come to the part that makes this song relevant:

I'm sure it tasted oh so sweet But it was never good enough for me I bit the tongue behind my teeth ... You said you'd always keep your word Show me what you're after I thought you promised me the world Tell me what you're after Go on and take it way too far Cause here we are, waiting once again Show me what you're after Just a little faster, now

See what I mean?

Starscream takes a step to go get what he's been waiting for. Faster didn't come fast enough. Basically an Infiltration retelling from Starscream's point of view, and he is PISSED.

[pearblossommina]

ToG Read-A-Long, Tower of Dawn, day 6

Ch 27

What the shit. What is this valg after Yrene for. Specifically her? Why? She’s a magic weilder, but I’m sure there are others!

Why does it just want her?

Ch 28

Yeah hell yeah stay with Chaol

You’re so scared and you didn’t know where else to go

And there’s - of course there’s only one bed

All aboard, toot toot, the Yrene x Chaol ship 😏

“She had snuggled deep into his bed, her attention fixed wholly on him.

"What about you? What do you deserve?"

"Nothing. I deserve nothing."

Yrene studied him. "I don't agree at all," she murmured, eyelids drooping.”

I DON’T EITHER, lmao

CHAOL - can you just be normal!

You’re so hard on yourself. It’s time to take a deep breath. It’s time to lay your sorrows aside and let your heart feel lighter. You need to believe that things can get better… that they WILL get better. Because they will!

“He replaced the pain that rippled through him at the sight of the exercising guards, the sight of this private training space, so similar to the one in which he'd spent so many hours of his life, with the image of Shen's artificial arm, the unwavering, quiet strength he'd felt supporting him while he'd mounted his horse. No less a man without that arm - no less a guard.”

*wipes away single tear* YES BABY, EVERYONE LOVES YOU! NOW IT’S TIME FOR YOU TO LOVE YOURSELF!

NOW IT’S TIME FOR PART TWO

Ch 29

Nesryn and Sartaq, breathless flight over the mountains, arms around her waist, legs bracketing hers, this is the next ship, and they’re at the dock picking up passengers

Should I recognize this guy? Falkan Ennar? He seems kinda sinister and/or suspicious

Also I can’t shake the feeling I’ve met him before and can’t remember. What was the name of that dude who Celaena met in Assassin’s Blade! The one who sold his life to the dream spiders! Is this him!

Ch 30

Nesryn firing arrows like a certified Robin Hood

Hell yeah I love badass ladytypes

“But Falkan nodded. And he replied, voice barely audible above the flame, “we call then stygian spiders.”

It IS that guy

Haha, hey!

(Nice to see you again)

(Sorry for thinking you were suspicious for a minute there)

Ch 31

The plot returned.

I actually don’t think I mind.

I’ve had a nice time, being emotional, and feeling my feelings. I feel good about getting back into the plot, now feels like a good time for it.

[dangermousie]

So, my Three Kingdoms 2010 rewatch - eps 1 and 2

Ep 1 revolves largely around Cao Cao's aborted attempt to assassinate Dong Zhuo, who is the de facto ruler of the Han Empire. Cao Cao, a cavalry general, becomes very close to Dong Zhuo but decides to kill him, whether out of ambition, thirst for glory, or some mix of the two. However, the attempt fails and the enraged Dong Zhuo sends his adopted son, warlord Lu Bu, to hunt Cao Cao down like a dog while taking a side trip to eradicate his household (they really weren't kidding about the whole "if you go against the government, they will kill everyone related to you, down to the meanest slave." Let's hope Cao Cao was single and childless and wasn't too fond of any of his retainers.) And thus the story is set in motion…

Anyway, here are the mains we meet in eps 1-2 (most of them will disappear soon enough to be replaced by others, but Cao Cao will remain for most of it.)

Cao Cao. He's my favorite character in the drama, being clever, unscrupulous and larger than life. He's almost irresistibly magnetic. If I traveled back in time, he's the one I'd pick to be concubine n. 75 to.

Dong Zhuo, the warlord who installed a puppet child Emperor and rules the empire. He seems very susceptible to flattery and has interesting ways to get rid of people he doesn't like (see below). He's also supposed to like sleeping in the Emperor's bed (not when Emperor is there, thankfully) and raping palace ladies, though I am not sure I buy that last one because this is in the days before viagra and he's pretty darn old. He's also about to be catfished/honeytrapped together with his adopted son by the beauteous Diao Chan and her dad. His grooming is questionable.

Lu Bu, Dong Zhuo's adopted son. Or as I like to call him "psycho Legolas." Legolas because of the hair and the hotness, and psycho because - well - he comes across as scary-dangerous. I kept thinking he was going to stab his adopted daddy with that nifty armor-piercing dagger for the entirety of their conversation. Not that there was anything said about it but the vibe was eeeek. Eventually, one half of my top 10 cdrama OTPs of all time.

The other half of said OTP is Diaochan, whose beauty and scheming will bring down Dong Zhuo in a honeytrap of legendary deliciousness.

Gaotai, the official who follows Cao Cao into rebellion. He's a bit of a POV character/narrator, and an epic wet blanket.

Minister of Blah, Diao Chan's adopted dad. He is a bit of a rabbit-looking wet blanket but pretty sharp. Hobbies include prostituting adopted daughters to elderly warlords so warlord's adopted son would go murder daddy to protect the woman he fancies. I am not fond of the man.

Minister reminds me that if you want a drama that has men treat women as equal or even with care, this is not the drama for you. Psycho Legolas is about the only dude who views a woman as more than a specific kind of domestic animal until many many eps later we get Zhuge Liang. This drama has few women in prominent roles tbh, which is quite historic. This is largely a man's world.

Anyway, when I say they don't make them like this any more, they really don't. And I don't just mean close to 100 eps running length or the fact that the censors would never let any of these topics through now. It's also adult, gorgeous and with so much money poured in.

The other thing is, this drama is dark! Dark dark dark. For example, as early as ep 2, we get a scene where Cao Cao and his friend on the run hide out with a relative, assume his servants want to kill them and slaughter them, only to find out that the killing the peasants were talking about was slaughtering a pig in their honor. Sometimes this drama is depressing enough to make me want to eat my own head. It is certainly a world cavalier about killing. It's horrifying.

Bonus, for fellow Peter Ho fangirls...

[hircinesring]

on that topic tho i like martin as a character and his relationship with HOF, but really only through the lens of what i see them as and not how the original plot and charaterisation has it all be.

in my and cel's canon, it's made pretty clear to cel and martin that they dont actually have a choice and this is what's going to happen- because jauffre, the blades, and the rest of the council want it to be this way. martin never wanted to be emperor, he still doesnt want to be, he doesnt think he SHOULD be, his apparent heritage means nothing to him because it was never a part of his life at all, and while he WILL do research into stopping the oblivion crisis he just doesnt. want. to be emperor. it's neither something he wants nor believes is right. but he's going to be, because now he doesnt really have a choice, the blades are around him 24/7 so he cant LEAVE, and everyone is telling him this is what he HAS to do and he might as well accept it. it's his divine right and destinyyyyyy! why else would he be drawn to akatosh? seeeeee it was meant to be all along!!!!

and cel is literally only there due to being the dude that gave the necklace to jauffre hoping he'd get paid, and went to go find the next emperor again hoping he'd get paid or at least some sort of nice pay off from the empire. and he got neither! and now he's being paraded around as the errand boy-hero who will restore the empire and help save the world from the tyranny of the daedra and uphold the empire's values, too scared to leave for fear of being chased down, and also the guilt of abandoning martin to what HE dragged him into, and also what if theyre right and this IS the only way?? its not, i wholly believe there are other ways to end the oblivion crisis, but this is what cel is scared into believing.

basically, youre going on that throne whether you like it or not, youre not going to be able to look for an alternative route to stop mehrunes dagon, and youre going to be good boys and hold up the status quo or they WILL find another convenient bastard and hero to replace you two and if they dont then its all your fault the world ends <3

its what draws them together throughout the entire oblivion crisis, not knowing how to escape what theyve got themselves into, they only have each other and they share their feelings of being trapped. and it ends with martin dying for something he didnt really believe in and cel becoming the madgod.

and afterwards? everything about them is sanitized into something more palatable as martyrs and heroes to be sold to the populace. martin's past with daedric cults and sanguine is smoothed over, cel's life as an assassin and necromancer is watered down, all so that the empire can continue to hold them up as 'bastions of empirical ideals', because look! they may have had some sordid past but they saw the light and got on the right path and became good members of society! you too can be a good member of society just like these two! theyre ideals to strive towards!

their whole thing is just fucking tragic. and way more fun for me.

[goddamnwebcomics]

Since you've talked about the five rejected stories you've encountered in webcomics, what are the top 5 or so webcomics that had the most weirdest retcons you've encountered?

Oooh this is a great idea, let me think.

5. Luna knows dark magic (Dominic Deegan)

This is definitely a retcon, and Dominic Deegan is bad with "plot twists so out of the left field they pretty much quality as retcons".. You would think Luna's knowledge of dark magic would've been implied at earlier point in the comic, and how it could've conflicted with Dominic's hatred of dark magicians. It's a bullshit twist that only serves to give Luna black hair for some reason.

4. Nature of the Dice (Alien Dice)

It's clear to me at this point Tiffany just refuses to explain what the dices are supposed to be. When we first started this comic, the dice were their own consciousness that went to possess the first animal they met, effectively replacing them. This explained why these animals had memories of Lexx in the past. However as the comic went on, this line got blurred more and more, to the point it's now implied that Dice and their animal bodies share the same memories and consciousness. Also, whether or not they are computer programs similar to Digimon or actual living breathing organisms that are just capable of advanced hyper evolution has constantly changed over the last ten years of the comic. And that's not even getting to the abandoned "Lexx is a dice" plot line.

3. Everyone has superforms now (Crash Bandicoot Retold 2)

Here's a non-blog example. SuperSaiyanCrash's magnum opus Crash Bandicoot Retold saga started with Crash being the only hero character capable of turning into a Super Bandicoot. Starting with next comic, not just Bandicoots, but EVERYONE are capable of becoming Super Saiyan type superforms, making Crash a lot less special. He is still more OP than the rest of them (except Derukui and Megamix) but everyone else turning into superform made the series a lot more generic and took away the odd charm the first comic had.

2. Any Design Retcons

This is almost universal in webcomics. Some character gets redesigned completely for no reason, clashing with their previous appearance. Sometimes it happens because artist changes, or because the artist just feels like their old design was either "too generic" or something. The problem is, in reboots and new continuities this is fine (one thing Dumok got right) but in linear comic, it's confusing and downright irritating, especially if the new design is a lot worse than the older one.

Above are the most infamous examples, Damian from Alien Dice somehow gained a massive puppet nose and in general dude looks way too cartoony for the comic, Melna and other orcs from Dominic Deegan receives a pig nose out of nowhere, Sahira became more stereotypical and even changed her personality (thankfully it was reverted) and I can't even begin to describe what happened with Sarah from Console Girl. This is why you need REFERENCES.

1. Siegfried's Racism and Downfall (Dominic Deegan)

The worst retcon will always be what happened to poor Siegfried, and yes, it was retcon, all because Mookie is a petty little bitch. Siegfried was originally a honourable knight, who had his moments of aggression because of his position, but he was not afraid to call out corruption among his ranks. All of a sudden that changed because ladies loved Siggy more than they loved Deegan, so Mookie took the extreme path and turned Siggy into a hardcore orc racist who always hated orcs and because he hung a family of orcs, he became a Hell Nazi who now works as Karnak's silent assassin, and everyone in the comic hates him now! This will always be the stupidest retcon of all time.

[cockbiteindustries]

So recently I got a new boardgame called Black Orchestra, a game based on real actual plots to kill Hitler during WWII. while reading the character cards in the game, they are worded like a lil biography of the actual nazis and such that tried to kill this idiot, and so I got curious as to if these were legit people, and then i discovered that its some fucking clown shit on some of these assassination attempts, and that Hitler was just some lucky ass fuck. like the highlights I found were: Nazi General tries to kill Hitler with a bomb that blows up in his plane, disguised as expensive liquor. the gift is stored in the cargo hold and the fucking mechanism for explosion freezes. after discovering this the dude then called the ground crew and told him to hold on unloading, and flew himself there to unload the package to not be discovered, and then supposedly bought new booze for Hitler, another account says the drinks were for a bet he lost to a friend but also a gift so im not 100% on that Another nazi general was involved in a previously failed attempt and so he was ready to suicide hug hitler during a museum tour and blow himself up. the tour would take 30mins minimum, and he had gotten 2 bombs on 10min timers that he was going to activate at the start, and then death-grip hitler to kill him. Hitler then SPEEDRUNS the museum finishing in less than 10 mins, the guy then nervously waves goodbye to hitler and then SPRINTS to the Bathroom to either actually defuse the bombs or flush them down the toilet at the last second so as to not fucking die for nothing, again conflicting info.

another attempt is some dude straight up bought a gun and just tried, stalking Hitler till he could pop him, and never could, citing that at one specific parade as hitler arrived, the crowd went fucking ballistic and stood up waiving flags and he such and he couldn't get a clear shot. he abandoned this plan cause he ran out of money to stalk hitler

another plot was to show off a new nazi uniform by some like, 6ft+ blue eyed, blonde haired dude who hated hitler with a landmine in his backpack to kill him, and the reason this one was cancelled was cause the allies did a bombing run on berlin and blew up the new uniforms.

there was actually a scouted out and planned mission to snipe hitler while he was on a walk that the british forces planned out, and then the americans straight up told them no too because they realized that hitler is actually a fucking idiot and that if they killed him he might be replaced by someone competent and make the war harder (again i found some conflicting stuff here as well)

And the final one I will share is that a communist carpenter who hated Hitler had been sneaking into a Beer Hall that Hitler did many speeches in over several days, to drill a hole and plant a bomb that would go off in 144hrs to coincide perfectly with a speech hitler was giving off in the middle of it. THEN WWII BREAKS OUT, Hitler moved his speech up, and left early, missing the bomb by only 13 Minutes.

This is some fucking clown shit, so many people tried to kill this dude, many of whom were actual nazis who found him either too stupid to lead, or after legit seeing the atrocities they were committing went, “Oh fuck, we are the bad guys” and planned to stop Hitler. only 42 attempts on his life have been proved, there’s probably more, probably some other fucking clown shit out there that happened. They did list more than one attempt was made with uniform show off with a bomb but those kept getting cancelled. anyways theres my info dumb on hitler murder attempts due to me getting curious about the facts in a boardgame where the idea is to kill Hitler

[doom-nerdo-666]

MetaDoom explained part 5, check this tag to catch up.

Demons:

Much like weapons and items, they get progress randomization and some monsters are combinations of things too.

Because some enemy types are just redesigns of the same monster, they take Doom RPG enemies from otherwise palette swaps

ZOMBIEMAN:

He has new/changed sounds and hitscan replaced with tracers and these changes apply to other zombie types

HELL RAZER:

D4 monster who has more health than Zombieman and charges a laser that deals continuous damage

SHOTGUN GUY:

See Zombieman

Z-SEC:

Based off D3's Z Sec, with a shotgun, rifle zombie's helmet and the ability to roll, which according to Doomwiki, is from the pistol zombie

Has D64/PSX sounds

FORMER LIEUTENANT:

Works as a replacement for the normal chaingunner, but his name and blue armor represent a blue zombieman from DRPG, while he carries the assault rifle

FORMER COMMANDO:

Carries the chaingun and his red armor indicates he's in fact the Doom 2 heavy weapon dude, despite the differences

FORMER ASSASSIN:

Based off Doom 3's commando zombies (both types), so he has both a chaingun and a tentacle arm that can pull you towards him

Lines may as well be beta Doom 3 stuff (he yells “YOUR KIND ARE OVER” as opposed to “you.. die…” for example)

IMP:

Mostly unchanged but he has one new sound when hurt

NIGHTMARE IMP:

Can replace Imp in darker areas and he works faithfully enough (Faster, transparent, faster projectiles) he even gets specific spawns in Consolation Prize's D64 maps

IMP LORD:

D4 imp, who is faster and can teleport as an homage to the cancelled D4 (he predates Eternal’s Prowler)

Name may be taken from orange DRPG imp

PINKY AND SPECTRE:

These two have "revamped" sounds, even one possibly taken from D4's Pinky

Pinky keeps vanilla design but Spectre’s sprites are based off D4 Pinky

HELLHOUND:

DRPG dog enemy who works as a faster, but low health Pinky, that can be a weapon with the Dog Collar

DEMONDOG:

Same as above but blue and strafes/moves sideways a lot

CERBERUS:

Another dog, this one is red and jumps around

These dog types seem to use Wolfenstein 3D/Quake sounds, with Cerberus being a Quake Fiend reference

Dog enemies may also have a high chance to replace Pinkies if zombiemen types are nearby

BULL DEMON:

D3 Pinky named after DRPG yellow pinky, who has a charge attack inspired by D4 pinky

NIGHTMARE SPECTRE:

Exclusive PSX enemy that can replace Spectre in darker areas and as expected, he's faster and has more health

He uses D64 Pinky sprites but the blue/inverted color effect still makes him Nightmare Spectre

TRITES:

Doom 3 spiders who can replace Spectres in darker areas

Three of them spawn at once and they're small, fast melee monsters who at times can attach to the ceiling and walking on it (Inspired by a Strife enemy)

They can only spawn in early levels before never showing up again

Sometimes they don't show up at all

They have their own special toggle option due to possible arachnophobia

SAWCUBUS:

D2RPG chainsaw enemy, based off the green variant Great Sawcubus (Using the Java look)

Replaces Spectre and does the chainsaw attack on you (Duh)

If gibbed, he may drop a chainsaw

Sounds are meant to be Doom 3 Sawyer related, but they might be Beta D3 stuff (Actually, they were in D2RPG itself and i think that’s a source for a lot of other sounds here)

CACODEMON:

Seemingly unchanged but he can be gibbed and drop some unique gore sprites while also bleeding blue

Has "revamped" sounds (From original source materials) and a specific crushed death sprite

MALWRATH:

D64 Caco named after yellow DRPG Caco that shoots three balls at once

The concept of 3 fireballs at once can be traced to an attack the Hell guard had in 2016, Eternal's Prowler and i guess the real fire attack of the Mother Demon

May or may not D3 related sounds

WRETCHED:

D4 Caco named after DRPG blue Caco who has a tongue attack (Taken from D4 MP) similar to Former Assassin's tentacle arm (I think this tentacle/tongue thing may be based off Strife's Loremaster); edit as of 2024 April, turns out the 2016 Caco has a cut attack like this but it's more of a "magnet/plasma beam" sort of.

PAIN ELEMENTAL:

If you get too close, he can bite you now

BEHOLDER:

Eternal PE but painted green (to resemble DRPG monster he’s based off) and lacks arms because originally, he was an armless green PE when there was no other PE variant besides the 64 one

Spews smaller LS's named Forgotten Ones (name taken from RoE) in a group

When he dies, the Forgotten Ones die with him, a behaviour taken from Eternal’s PE that makes the Beholder less annoying

RAVOHART:

Doom 64 PE named after DRPG blue PE who spits two LS's at once

LOST SOUL:

Sprites are changed so his flames look more "authentic"

PHANTOM:

Cut/alpha LS sprites with green flames (Possibly to reference the Invulnerability sphere since it used his sprites)

Named after green LS from DRPG and uses D4 sounds (They were altered to sound robotic)

Can strafe, has a projectile attack and has higher infighting chance

FORGOTTEN ONES:

Smaller LS's meant to represent human skulls named after an LS from D3 Resurrection of Evil

They're small and swarm around, while only originating from Beholder

MANCUBUS:

His attack shakes the screen for some reason

BEHEMOTH:

D64 Manc named after DRPG blue Manc, who spits travelling streams of flames based off D4's Manc's flamethrower

May use D3 sounds

CYBER MANCUBUS:

D4 CyberManc with more health, who (Continuously) shoots green sticky stuff that sticks to the level and explodes shortly after (as opposed to pools of acid)

Unique death animation where he explodes shortly after dying and this only harms enemies

Shoots continuously but has a chance to stop

ARACHNOTRON:

His attack has a different sound

SPIBORG:

D64 Arachno who's name is made up due to lack of RPG Arachnos

His attack his charging a powerful fast Plasma ball

Originally in D64, he shoots two plasma balls five times and charging a Plasma ball is more of a D4 possessed soldier thing

TITANTULA:

Eternal Arachnotron, whose sprites are an edited classic Arachno (borrowing 64 legs) and has another made up name, referencing the Titans

Main fire is the same but with orange colored projectiles

When he loses enough health, he’s portrayed as losing his turret, indicating a second phase and simulating the weak spot system in Eternal

Second phase makes him shoot 2 grenades at a time, based off the grenades attack he has in Eternal

He also bleeds blue

Meant to show up after map 20 (Or 5 in episodes/certain shorter mapsets)

REVENANT:

Uses PSX Doom sounds but i'm not sure about the beeping homing rocket noise

FIEND:

D4 Revenant (He's pretty much a regular Rev with fleshy/bloody bones right now) who can shoot streams of micromissiles and jump with jetpack

He still has Rev's normal attacks and is named after blue Rev from DRPG

ARCHVILE:

If you kill him, he drops BFG ammo

Has "revamped" sounds

SUMMONER:

D4's take on Archie who has less health than him, but still retains his attacks

Summoner can teleport and summon Unwilling, by throwing D2 Spawn cubes in the air and let them drop in the floor, to spawn said Unwilling

Also drops BFG ammo after and i don't know about his alert noise

UNWILLING:

Inspired by zombie type enemies from D4/3, they can also throw blood pieces like Quake 1's Zombies

Even D2RPG zombies technically threw stuff at you.

They're weak and their sounds might be the D3 fat zombie ones

INFERNIS:

Eternal Archie by design and sounds, with name taken from DRPG red Arch

Has the 2 abilities from Archviles and 2 new unique ones when he can’t see you

First one is taken from the Diabolist from Supercharge: The fire follows the player and multiplies into 4 stationary fires (based on where he goes) that don’t stick to the player but they can explode a few times

These flames make it seem like the player is unintentionally creating his own firey death, even when they seem easier to avoid at first, while also potentially hurting other foes or keeping Infernis busy

(You can also make it as a reference to his Eternal fire lake)

The other ability is summoning Demonic Troopers

He also drops BFG ammo after death

Meant to show up after map 20 (Or 5 in episodes/certain shorter mapsets)

DEMONIC TROOPERS:

The obviously rushed, 2016 MP skin wearing guys from The Ancient Gods Part 2

Only summoned by Infernis, when he can’t see you

Design-wise, they’re the resistance guys from Strife for some reason but not sure about their sounds

They shoot red basic lasers at you

They gib when they die, even with basic attacks

HELLKNIGHT:

Based off D4, by design and ground slam ability, while using D3 sound for alert noise and retaining D2 death sound

BARON OF HELL:

D4 version, who's bigger than HK and still bleeds green like his vanilla version

He has a stronger ground slam (It forms like 4 red triangles that hurt for a bit) and shoots red fireballs that split into four green fireballs

Has a unique crushed death sprite

CYBERDEMON:

D64 sprites and D3 sounds

Can strafe, shoot while walking and may have more health

Slide ability from D4 and can kick you if close enough (May be a Doom bible thing)

Slide ability may also somewhat take something from Heretic's Maulotaur (Maybe)

Before his slide, he stomps his hoof/foot like 2 times to indicate he’s doing it

HARBINGER OF DOOM (Optional boss):

That one boss from Wolfenstein RPG/Pre-Cyber Cyberdemon

His main attack is a green fireball that splits in fire balls that split in more fire balls (An extreme version of this mod’s Baron’s attack)

His death animation is his death from Wolf RPG where he loses his limbs and teleports away

Replaces the Cyberdemon in map 32 Grosse, may or may not be based around the presence of nazis

SPIDER MASTERMIND:

Unique design meant to combine old and new versions of the monster, while looking like it's coming out of D64

Main attack is rapid fire Plasma balls

Second attack (when closer) is shooting fireballs to different directions through the floor, possibly based off D64 Mother Demon's fire attack or a D4 attack where she'd shock the floor with blue lightning (I think it even uses that sound)

These balls also have physics, so they fall

She also does a pose from a cut magic attack sprite in the second attack

HELL GUARD (Optional Boss):

One of those guys from D4

Main attack is 5 green fire balls

They have some Z-Sec side roll thing

Sounds may be from Doom 2 RPG’s Watcher types because of a playthrough i remember and because i don’t recall these sounds in 2016’s Hell Guards

Two of them replace the two SMM’s in 2’s Map 28

MOTHER DEMON (Optional Boss):

D64’s final boss, whose sprites are stylized after classic Doom (As a parallel to this mod’s SMM being stylized after 64 and also, these come from D64FD2)

Her 4 fire barriers attack is still the same but her homing rockets sort of stop homing and go foward (This was written before i remembered her fire attack being different lol)

Not sure about her sounds

Replaces SMM in Thy Flesh Consumed’s E4M8 and Consolation Prize (as in, where you should typically fight her)

MARAUDER (Optional boss with specific spawning system, doesn’t replace anyone):

The axe throwing horned warrior from Eternal

Design-wise, he’s fused with an Acolyte soldier from Strife (might be because both Sentinels and Strife had a medieval sci-fi theme going on)

He has a lot of health, runs fast, can jump and strafe

Get too far, he throws fast axe projectiles

Too close, shotgun attack borrowed from shotgunners

Right distance, he performs a green flash from his eyes, to indicate a melee attack and the window of opportunity to actually stagger him

If you succeed, he stays in a staggered pose for a short time and even cries (water droplets from Holy Water Pistol)

He can pull up his Sentinel shield, which when shot, makes him summon 2 Spirit Wolves (even uses IOS cubes because of course)

When killed, he drops BFG ammo and ammo/armor/health/items

His main spawning method is dependent on if you pick up the most powerful weapons

WHERE he spawns depends but he can take a while to show up, giving you an opportunity to see his portal and him coming out of it

One main factor behind his spawn locations is Deathmatch spawn points placed by the level designer

A good strategy is to make sure you have the Artifact and use it when he does the green flash

SPIRIT WOLVES:

Can only spawn from Marauders

They are green, even though the Marauder’s wolves are orange and green wolves are friendly, by Eternal’s lore, but you know…

Their sounds and gameplay are borrowed from Cerberus

Death animation is just a teleportation effect

When you kill a Marauder, they die with him

This mod also has an unused Dr Kronos boss where he supposedly uses the Quake Vore's homing projectile and even the Mother Demon's rockets.

[gravityfalls-amirite]

Started watching a playthrough of jet set radio because boredom and wanted to understand why everyone keeps taking about the music. And while I was pleasantly surprised to unlock a memory that I actually played a bit of this game as a kid without realizing (played it at an older cousins house but found the game too hard at the time and never played it again haha) and that the music indeed slaps, I still don't understand the professor k/dj dude

Like, I have at least a half hour left of this vid so I'm well aware this guy is supposed to be a narrator for the players to guide the story and all but... I dunno, he doesn't make sense to me in the sense of why he's doing the broadcasts in the first place as well as why he's gotta be yelling 'JET SET RAAadiOOOOOO!!!!' at any given moment. Like I thought you were a guerrilla radio station and were supposed to be kinda on the hush-hush instead of letting your neighbours know you're doing a thing in your basement but then again, he also has those blaring speakers so.... idk XD

[shurisneakers]

harmless (i)

Summary: Bucky volunteers to go stop a small time villain, but nothing can prepare him for what exactly he has to deal with. (Bucky x villain!reader)

Warnings: cursing, nonsense writing

Word count: 1.5k 

A/N: listen i just needed something to keep my mind busy and a perry the platypus!bucky and dr. doofenshmirtz!reader was the only thing i could think of. dont have any high expectations from this series, you will be sorely disappointed.

If you have any ideas for this series, lemme know!! it’d be cute to write!!

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Series Masterlist

Bucky Barnes, for all intents and purposes, is edgy. 

His SHIELD salary is definitely enough to afford him a simple beanie, gloves even if he’s that eager. His long hair, though a spectacle in itself, isn’t as good at keeping away the cold as he claims it to be. 

It’s a personal choice, a fashion statement even, to be roaming the streets in a long flimsy t-shirt that does nothing to accentuate his broad shoulders, and tactical pants that look a little too comfortable. 

It’s cold. He says he likes it, to appease his blond haired best friend who insisted that he wear a cardigan at least. He won’t like it in a while, but he would never admit it.

The bike ride to the other side of town for a minor mission takes longer than he expected. The wind rushing by gets his adrenaline racing. 

Official missions are long and gruelling, and oftentimes not fun. But it gives him a purpose.

It’s easy, therefore, to find him brooding when he’s not on one. 

No one wants their room to be on the receiving end of Bucky’s stress-cleaning sessions. His baking is more appreciated.

So when there’s news of a small time villain creating havoc again, it made sense that he volunteered to go sort it out. No one else wanted the job. They’d all been at it before. 

SHIELD didn’t seem particularly bothered either. 

“It’s not that serious, Barnes.”

“I’m going.”

“Just stop her from doing whatever dumb plan she has today. She seems to have a new one every week.”

“Can I-”

“This is not an assassination mission.”

“Fine. Can I-”

“No.”

“Fine.”

He didn’t know what to expect. He had an idea of how they should be. Smaller villains tended to be more aggressive, vicious to prove their point. They were here to stay.

He wears his regular gear. Enough knives to make a butcher look away in shame, and guns including, but not limited to, his biceps.

He finally pulls the bike to a stop a few metres away, leaving it out of reach in case things got too out of hand. He didn’t want to have to walk back to the Tower, and his friends, as much as they loved him, would never go out of their way to pick him up. Little shits. 

The address is a dingy, plain concrete house near an old construction site. It was flat and felt more like an afterthought than an actual building. It looked more like an abandoned Walmart than an actual villain lair. 

The only entrance is the door in the front. He counts to three, lifting his leg to kick it down.

It falls down ungracefully, loud and creaky like it was bound to the doorframe by rust. 

The only light source inside is a green light. All the way at the other end on an elevated platform is a desk and a chair facing away from him. He can’t see much other than that.

Someone’s laughter comes back loud and booming. He raises his gun, feet apart in a defensive stance. 

“I’ve been expecti-” the voice pauses mid-sentence- “Did you just kick down my door?”

He looks behind him to where the wooden piece is on the floor. He certainly did.

He can finally see you as you stand up, green light illuminating your face. You reach over to the side, pressing a few switches. 

He squints when all the lights turn on, pulling the both of you from darkness. 

“Dude!” you cry out, face twisting into what only could be described as a mix of horror and disdain. “What’d you do that for?”

He doesn’t say anything but he doesn’t lower his gun either.

“You’re an Avenger, just fuckin’ pick the lock or something. This is expensive!” 

He only watches as you whine, looking beyond him at your now demolished entrance. You take a few steps closer, jumping down from the elevated platform.

“Insurance isn’t going to cover this.” You drag your palm across your fist before extending it towards him. “Pay up.”

He wasn’t sure if he heard you right.

“What?” he finally asked, voice gruff.

“All you superheroes go around, destroying walls and cars in the name of world peace like you own the damn thing. Not today, bitch boy. Pay up.”

He doesn’t have his wallet with him. He didn’t expect to need it.

“I’m supposed to be stopping you.” 

“You can do that once you pay for my door.” 

You sound resolute, unshaken. A little annoyed. There’s what appears to be a gun in your hand, although it’s unlike any weapon he’s seen before.

“What’s your plan?” Bucky looks at your hand. Your stare follows his. You lift the thing up and he tenses.

“I was going to freeze some jerk but now my plan is to get you cancelled on Twitter.” 

“Why?” his eyebrows knit together in confusion.

“Local superhero destroys property of tax paying citizen for no good reason.”

“I mean-” he shakes his head, discarding what you’re saying, “-why were you going to freeze someone?”

“Because I wanted to. But you’ve ruined the mood now, so that won’t happen.”

He blinks, lowering his weapon when he realises you weren’t making any attempt to move. “What’s your ulterior motive?”

“Nothing! I just wanted to mildly inconvenience that stupid fuck for being such a prick.”

He doesn’t know what to say. 

“Is that the freeze ray?” Bucky asks instead, raising his gun when he realises there’s a very real chance he could end up like his best friend. 

“You got a problem with it?” You hold it up carelessly. 

“I can’t let you use that.”

“That’s all you’re going to do?” you huff, “Is this what you call an intervention? This is so boring.”

“Give me the freeze ray and no one has to get hurt.” 

“No one was going to get hurt in the first place, genius. All this does is slow him down for 5 minutes so he misses the subway.”

There’s nothing technically that evil about what you’re doing. He doesn’t even know how you ended up on SHIELD’s radar. He gets why no one was particularly driven to take this seriously.

“And for fuck’s sake put that gun away. You’re not scaring me.” 

He doesn’t oblige, even though something tugs at him, telling him that you’re speaking the truth. 

“Here, take the stupid thing.” You don’t bother waiting for his response, bending over and sliding the gun towards his feet. “I’ll find another way to get back at that dickhead.”

It hits his boot with a small thud. He looks down. Its design is ridiculously comical, like you ripped it straight out of a kid’s TV show. 

“Next time, bring some drama. Wear a cape or something.” You wave him off. “Now get out of my lair. I need to fix the door.”

“You don’t have another one of these lying around, do you?”

“Why, do your friends want one too?” The glare you give him is dangerous. He doesn’t react to it. “No, it’s limited edition. I don’t build the same thing twice.”

“You have others?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy?” A smile grows on your face, dropping as quickly as it arrives. “SHIELD will tell you if I do. Now leave.”

Bucky looks at the freeze ray in his hand. He supposes his job is done. He was told to stop you, but you didn’t seem to have any inclination to go on with your plan.

“You can ask them if you want, they know about me.” You roll your eyes. “Go ahead, call them.”

He doesn’t want to take a chance. As odd as the situation is, it’s still novel and he isn’t quite sure how to deal with it.

He tucks your weapon under his arm, pressing his phone to his ear.

“Yes, Sergeant Barnes?” Maria’s voice is crisp as ever.

“I confiscated a... freeze ray.” He feels ridiculous even saying it. “But I’m going to bring her in to SHIELD headquarter-”

“That won’t be necessary.”

“But we can’t trust-”

“We’ve been keeping tabs on her for a while. She’s more or less harmless. You can take the rest of the night off, Sergeant.”

He cuts the call, not entirely at ease with the smug, expectant look on your face. 

Still, he couldn’t disobey direct orders.

“I’m gonna... go.” He mentions towards the gaping hole in the wall.

“That would be ideal, yes.” You nod, crossing your arm over your chest.

“Okay.” He hesitates, but finally takes a step backwards. He peeks over his shoulder as he leaves, but finds you swivelled away from him again. 

He steps back outside. The cold greets him again like an old friend. The weight of his weapons feels stupidly embarrassing now. 

It’s a long drive back to the Tower. He keeps replaying the entire story in his mind. He’s unsure of whether he made the right call, but no one else really seemed to care. 

He had seen weirder things. It came with the gig.

He leaves it at that.

“How’d it go?” Steve asks him when he walks into the living room.

“T’was fine,” he answers, toying with the stupid device he took from you. Maybe he would test it on Clint. He had been getting annoying lately. Breathing too much in Bucky’s general direction.

A part of him feels guilty for his carelessness towards your building. The other part is just bewildered. 

That night he looks up the cost it takes to replace a door, making a mental note to draw some money from the ATM soon.

Next part