#only to realize it wasnt what she imagined it to be and learning to be ok with it

[milfcamilanoceda]

Toh is about idealistic dreams, learning that the real thing is far from perfect, and then learning to be ok with it by either finding beauty in the imperfections or letting it go.

[d1s1ntegrated]

Imagine Shigaraki with shy bookworm reader, who just hides her face blushes behind a book when she feels like he’s nearby?🤭

bookworm (nsfw)

shigaraki x shy!reader oneshot

summary: shigaraki catches you reading a verrryyyy dirty novella, and makes those chapters feel real.

btw this wasnt proofread, sorry if there are some minor mistakes!

cw: dirty talk, p/v, rough sex, overstimulation, corruption kink, slight breeding kink?, oral (fem rec), groping, shiggy is a hugeeee perv, mean shiggy, shy reader, missionary, teasing, dacryphilia, begging, minimal use of y/n, degradation, slight book abuse (sorry! but its for the plot)

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.

"what are you doing?" shigaraki's voice cuts through the paragraph you were halfway through, causing you to jump. you slide your bookmark slowly between the pages.

"just reading" you answer him softly, and he scoffs.

"tch, again?" he rolls his eyes, "are you gonna do anything else today?"

you shake your head, reopening to the page you left off on. "probably not. it just got good" you retort, and refocus your eyes onto the dramatic scene. you look up at him over the top of the book- he's perched up on the arm of the old couch, picking at the already-ripped hangnails on his calloused hands. you watch him secretly for a few seconds before you plant your nose back into the book again, sighing contentedly. he suddenly interrupts you again by sliding down the arm and plopping down onto the worn seat. he audibly sighs and groans, and you tilt your head at him.

"is something wrong, shigaraki?" you ask innocently, and he huffs.

"tch. no. i'll leave you be" he slinks off the couch and heads over to the bar. you watch as he runs his slender fingers through his baby blue hair, and smile to yourself. he throws himself onto a barstool dramatically and you giggle lightly, but catch yourself.

"you know" he starts from across the room, "if you spent half as much time with the league as you do reading, you might actually learn something useful" he says matter-of-factly, and you bite your lip, fighting the urge to say something back.

its not that you weren't involved with the leagues missions- you were their perfect alibi. a small bookshop owner who just so happened to settle into the wrong part of town. it wasn't your fault the league found you useful, and it certainly wasn't your fault that their bribe was far too good to pass up. keep the shop, and you, out of chaos's way, and they use your place as not only a hideout, but a resource for information.

over the past few months playing pretend with them, you actually grew comfortable with the villains. toga came to the shop regularly with magne to read every trashy romance novel and gossip with you about boys. kurogiri would pop in and out on the premise of "needing information per tomura's request", and twice and spinner both enjoyed the comic section from time to time. you didn't see much of dabi, but when you did, he'd flit through the horror section, then secretly the romance section, ultimately to leave without a word, with a few books tucked under his coat. you acted like you didn't notice, because after a week or so, they'd return to their spots on the shelves. the only one you didn't see regularly was shigaraki.

shigaraki avoided seeing you as much as possible, and you subconsciously did the same. he liked to stay in his secluded hideaway, left to his own devices (literally, his devices. aka his PC). but when you started living at their base because your lease ended, and you didn't have the money to renew it AND keep the bookshop running (undercover work is hard, y'know!), you realized fast why exactly you didn't like coming face to face with tomura.

not only was he kind of an asshole, not to mention competitive, with a sharp and venomous tongue, he was so, so hot. his scars decorated his face like little strokes of paint on a canvas. his angular nose and carmine eyes were placed so perfectly on his pale skin. his thin lips dragging upwards into a predatory grin whenever he spoke of all things horrid. withal, the little birthmark just below those lips, that you found yourself fantasizing about kissing from time to time. just to see what it'd be like, of course. pure curiosity, nothing more. overall, the man was a picture-perfect portrait of your worst nightmare antagonist from the books you loved so much.

you weren't afraid of him per se, but you damn sure were intimidated. so you kept your head low, and your voice down around him. you were typically the quiet type, but something about him made you silent. as if one wrong word would cause him to turn and grip you tightly with all five fingers, turning you to nothing more than a fleeting memory.

he got off on your timidity. he looked at you like a helpless bunny, and he was the big scary wolf. you'd never admit it, but you got off on it equally the same. so when he'd approach you, you'd shove your face further into the pages of your book, as if getting closer to the words would save you from his vermillion gaze.

"i'm sorry, shigaraki. i just figured the further i stay away from the league's...well, anything, it would be safer for us overall." you masterfully answer him as to not provoke him. he stands from his seat and cracks his knuckles, dragging out his next reply.

"that doesn't mean you have to be completely oblivious to the world around you." he slowly approaches the back of the couch, and you feel yourself heat up at the proximity. he leans over the couch slightly to get closer, and you instinctively raise the book to cover everything up to your eyes. you blink at him and he smirks.

"what are you reading, anyways?" he snatches the book from your hands with three fingers and flips through it, eyes widening at the passage he lands on. he raises his eyebrows and you sink into yourself, covering your face with the sleeves of your oversized jumper.

"please," you croak out, "can i have it back?". your pleading sends a devilish smile to creep onto his face, and he shoves the book back into your hands.

"i didn't know our perfect little y/n was so, so filthy" he draws your name out with a teasing tone.

your face flushes and he chuckles.

"and here i thought you were the spitting image of innocence. seems as though i thought wrong for once" his face is inches from yours, his fingers tapping against the back of the couch. you can smell the combination of redbull and musky cologne on him, he's so close. you inhale sharply, breath hitching in your chest as he saunters around, swinging himself back over onto the unoccupied seat of the couch.

you don't answer as he asks another tantalizing question, causing him to lean over onto your legs, repeating it.

"i said," he raises his eyes to meet yours, "why'd you turn so quiet all of a sudden?"

you shake your head and look up at him, hovering over you.

"i'm always quiet..." you reply shakily, and he laughs.

"you're so pitiful, y/n, you know that?" he snakes a hand up to your thigh, drumming four fingers against the exposed skin under your shorts.

you nod and try to ignore him best as possible by reopening the book. this makes him even bolder, as he pinches your thigh, between thumb and forefinger, causing you to gasp out from behind the novel.

"don't act like i didn't see what you were reading there, slut." his voice is lower now, and his words slice through the core of your stomach and send pangs of heat through you. you giggle nervously as he creeps further, covering your very obvious desire with chapter 32 of your now clearly smutty book. he chuckles and drags his fingers under your sweater, tucking his ring finger down as not to hurt you. he trails up, underneath the hem of your bra, and forcefully pinches at one of your already-puffy nipples. you stifle a moan as you feel your core liquify, and he groans at the contact of your soft flesh on his cold, rough fingers. he pushes himself on top of you, your legs automatically spreading open for him as he drives his still-clothed hips down to meet yours. the friction alone drives you both wild, and he growls.

"you ever read any books where the villain gets the girl?" he asks, his voice thick with lust. you don't answer, but peer at him over the top of the book again and nod.

"is this one of them?" he flicks the back of the book and you jump, but nod again.

he hums passionately at your reaction and answer. then, without warning, he grips onto the hem of your shorts with all five fingers, sending them off of you into a pile of dust. your eyes widen, and you frown slightly. at least they were old, and already kind of ready to be replaced. he laughs and undoes the button of his jeans, yanking his pants and boxers down with them. you watch as his cock springs free, taken aback by the sheer size of it. it's not huge, but it's lengthy still, with a pretty dusty rose tint to the tip. it glistens with precum already, and he strokes it with three fingers as he watches you squirm, body clearly acting faster than your mind.

he grinds his dick down between your legs, brushing against the soft cotton of your underwear. he exhales sharply at the contact, and you bite your lip, feeling your wetness pressed against the material.

he pushed the seam of your panties to the side and dips a slender finger inside of you, and you gasp. he curls it, massaging one of your spots before promptly removing the finger and placing it into his mouth, sucking your essence off his finger with a slick pop, moaning.

"fuck, you taste better than i expected" he grumbles, and you whimper out a "hmm?"

"i don't know why i expected you to taste like paper or somethin'" he snickers and lowers his head down to your heat, licking your clit lazily. you moan out loud this time, with breathy little pants as his tongue dips into you. where he learned this, you're unsure, but his devouring sends your head back against the arm of the couch, unable to stifle your desperation anymore. he shoves a finger back inside while his mouth licks and nips at your swollen clit, and you feel yourself cresting towards orgasm. your eyes flutter shut as the tension inside of you builds, further and further, driving you insane. you whimper at his rapid movements, and the tight strings inside of you snap suddenly, sending white-hot currents to ripple through you. you clench tightly around his finger and he laps up your cum greedily, groaning at your collapse.

"i'm gonna show you why it's so important to pay attention to the outside world, baby" he whispers in your ear as he positions his cock to your opening. you nod and he presses the tip in slowly, emitting a small gasp from the both of you. he shudders as he slips it in, feeling you already clenched around his length.

he yanks the book from your hands, uncovering your face. he tosses the book to the floor and wraps four fingers around your neck gently.

"need you to pay attention to me baby, those words aren't gonna fuck you like i will" he thrusts into you hard, disallowing you to adjust fully. he pulls out and you breathe deeply, but he doesn't wait. he shoves it back in forcefully, the tip smacking against your cervix. you groan out in a mix of pleasure and pain, and he tightens the grasp on your neck slightly.

"look so good like this, slut, taking the big villains cock like this" he grumbles out into your ear, and you melt into a pool of desire. his words are enough to send you, but you hold back, craving more of him. he begins rutting into you rhythmically, slamming into your core with soft "slaps". he brings his hand off your neck to grab your face, pressing his cracked lips to yours. he shoves his tongue into your mouth and you taste yourself, sending a shiver down your spine. his moans tangle with yours as he picks up speed, and you feel as he sequentially grinds against your clit, the soft hair creating friction on your sensitive spot. you whimper at the contact and he bites on your lower lip.

"tell me how much you like this, filthy whore. tell me how badly you want my vile seed inside of you." he growls against your lips and you shiver again.

"i, shigaraki, please, i need it" you stutter out, and he groans.

"you're so pathetic. you want me to ruin you, huh?" he ends the question with a hard thrust, a shockwave of pain coursing through you. you nod and he continues, "what a depraved thing you are. you sit in front of me every fucking day and tease me, you know that?" he snarls.

"yes, i'm sorry, shigaraki, i'm sorry for being so filthy" you cry out, and he sends a swift slap to your thigh.

"don't apologize. i don't need an apology. i want to hear you beg." he sneers.

"please, shigaraki, please" you follow his orders dutifully, and he smiles wide.

"please what, wicked baby?" he thrusts into you hard and fast, his breathing staggering.

"please, let me cum, please, i need it, i need you to break me" you admit with tears rolling down your cheeks. he growls again and smacks your thigh again, digging four fingers into the pliable flesh again.

"break you? oh no, slut. i'm going to make it so that even the gods will turn their backs to you. you're mine, and by that, you're just as sick as i am now" he snaps, his voice a raspy and heavy breath. you clench tightly around him, his cock stretching you painfully still as you feel every ounce of purity in you dissipate. your moans and cries permeate the air with a sharpness that the whole city could hear, and you shatter forcefully around him, wrapping your arms around him and pulling him closer as your hips buck up, riding up to the intensity of the orgasm with a rushed mantra of "fucks, please's, and yes's." your own voice shocks you as the peak hits you, causing you to shout his name out with offensive indulgence.

"fuck, tomu, oh fuckfuckfuck, tomura" his name spills from your lips like honey, and he fractures inside of you at the sound. he pushes himself as deep as he can, hissing as he spills inside of you. the heat seeps through your entire body, feeling the stickiness coating your walls deeply. he twitches inside of you as he crashes down from his own orgasm, and sucks in air sharply as he pulls out slowly. the pain immediately hits you, choking a sharp cry out of you.

he hovers over you still, nipping at your neck. you sob out from overstimulation as he pumps his cum inside you more with a finger again for a few seconds before pulling it out.

"had to make sure it was really in there" he whispers, and you huff weakly.

"so?" he asks quietly, growling next to your ear, "was it comparable to your shitty book?" he teases. you nod and glance at the book strewn on the floor.

"better than." your voice is strained from the screaming, and he chuckles. you reach down and grab the title off the floor, shoving it into his hands, and on instinct he grabs hold of it with only a few fingers. you shake your head and motion with your hands.

"get rid of it." you say dismissively, and he gives you a confused look.

"it was only a placeholder for you anyways" you shrug, and with a snicker, he wraps his hands fully around the book as it crumbles to dust in his hands.

"does this mean you're done with the reading?" he asks snarkily, and you shake your head.

"no, it just means i'm done trying to compare you to a few chapters."

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.

eeeenjoy! i went kinda hard with this one ngl. i lowkey really wanted a reason to write a little out of my usual loser!shiggy style, and something took over me for this.

thank you as always for the request <3

[marunalu]

This is kind of an joke post (KIND OF) so dont take it to seriously. Its just my brain comming up with ridiculous ideas, so feel free to ignore me.

So you know, even long before the latest released chapter I always wondered as a dfo fan why afo married inko, because even if you consider some of the more popular conspiracy theories like the inko shimura or quirk marriage theory, afo NEVER had to MARRY her in the end. So why did he do it?

And after the latest chapter I think I finally got my answer: Dude lowkey hadnt realized that he had fallen in love. 🤣

Okay hear me out. The latest chapter confirmed that afo has no context or grasp what (selfless) love is, because he never experienced it himself. No parents, other guardians or friends to show him what love is or people in generell who showed and teached him kindness. Only a little weakly brother he felt a connection with he didnt fully understand and refused to let go since he was the only "possession" he had. Afo is unable to see the difference between (selfless) love and possession. Its not really something you can blame him for, thanks to the horrible enviroment he had to grow up in. To him possessing something means "love". He wants everyone to live for his sake just like yoichi. In other words he wants to feel loved and wants to love. But since he doesnt understand the difference between love and possession it seems so fucked up to us while for him it is normal.

Now back to inko. I have no idea how they could have meet. Maybe afo had his reasons to lay his eyes on her or maybe it was just a simple coincidence. No matter what it was, I like to believe that inko was not only the first person who showed afo kindness and support without the wish to gain something from him in return (like most of his followers do), but also was the first person who showed him what love (NOT possession) actually feels like.

It could be something incredible simple like touching his hand or his cheek in a caring/loving way and since nobody ever did that (if we consider his jealous reaction when he sees kudou and yoichi "holding hands" which I bet the brothers never did even as children) he would be so confused and wondering why that felt so nice and wants more of it. So he starts to obsess over her, because he enjoyed how she made him feel good (while still not getting what it actually is because he is just a mess 😅). They start to spend more time together while afo tries to find out what kind of miracle she is, what that strange feeling is when he is close to her, why his stomach feels funny and why he starts babbling nonsense every time she tries to hold smalltalk with him. 😆😆😆

So then imagine at one point afo does something kind to her in return (because he is slowly learning from her) and inko gives him a little kiss on the cheek and he is all like: WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPEND??? WHAT DID SHE DO??? WHAT WAS THAT??? IS THAT SOMETHING PEOPLE DO??? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW??? AND WHY DID THAT FEEL SO GOOD??? SHOULD I SAY THANK YOU??? WHY DO I WANT MORE OF IT??? I WASNT PREPARED FOR SOMETHING LIKE THAT!!!End result: brain.exe stopped working.

Afterwards he visits dr garaki and rants about all this strange feelings he has recently and believes he is actually sick and garaki is like: dude.... youre just in love and afo reacts like: OOOHHHHH............ and now? So after garaki explains to him VERY cautious that normally two people who are in love with each other would start to live together, marry, get children and always be there for each other afo IMMEDIATELY responses with: I WANT THAT!!! and runs back to inko to propose to her "You will marry me!" (No nos and no buts!)

[sunny-three]

My personal backstory on the wesninski-hatford crime family.

Nathan - I imagine he grew up middle class a fairly normal upbringing a banker father and stay at home he was an only child. He was always good at math/numbers so he goes to university majoring in like accounting or some shit. This was taken from the books I’m p sure Neil mentions it. Anyways Nathan’s always enjoyed fighting like his blood pumping he was actually on the hockey team in high school but kicked off for violence. He meets kengo his first year of university when he got into bar fight and ended up permanently maiming some guys eye with a broken bottle. Anyways all charges against him get dropped bc as turns out the guy that Nathan maimed was one of kengos bodyguards. Kengo introduces himself and offers Nathan some low level work. Nathan agrees and slowly rises though the ranks by doing things for the moriyamas ex. Pushing steroids which actually how Nathan meets Patrick dicmaccio who was on his university’s football team.

Mary - grew as a child in a crime family younges child with some older cousins and one older brother. Her mother died when she was about 14 because of an assination. While Mary’s parents were never really abusive towards her growing up in a crime absolutely impacted her in ways she didn’t realize till she had Neil ex. The paranoid the fear etc. Mary’s parents were never abusive to her but her upbringing was far from normal and damaging to her she never realizes that till Neil’s born. I imagine she saw a lot herself in Neil not just in his personality but in his upbringing as being born in a crime family his isolation as child makes her realizesher own isolation and I think that colours a lot of her dynamic with him. I always assumed that her marriage to Nathan was something that basically arranged/some thing that had to be done which is why she’s so reluctant to trust her family after running away bc they were onboard for the marriage in the first place.

The marriage - I always believed their marriage was a the first attempt at moriyama- hatford alliance it was basically an arranged marriage as kengo didn’t have any kids but Nathan was one of his most trusted subordinates. I think at first the marriage was fine Mary grew up in a crime family she’s been playing this game her whole life and Nathan liked the idea that he was building something of his own the alliance with Hatfords happened bc of him he’s carving out his territory in Baltimore and they’ve stated calling him the butcher. Then Mary gets pregnant and they both think why not? But Neil born everything changes.

Mary doesn’t want Neil in this life at all she’s never realized that how she grew up wasnt normal till Neil was born Nathan doesn’t really like Neil at all he doesn’t pay attention to Neil when he’s a baby and when Neil reaches like toddler age Nathan begins to hate him he liked the idea of having the legend of the butcher of Baltimore continue but practice he finds that he doesn’t really care for the idea of child that squirms during police raids or looks scared when Lola brings him down to the basement etc Mary doesn’t help at all Nathan doesn’t understand why she objects to him taking junior to the basement he never stops Lola from having her fun because junior will need to learn to handle sharp objects at some pint Mary runs away before Lola can properly begin show junior how use the knives . What’s really important to me about Nathan and Mary is that Nathan chose this life and Mary was born into it and while that might sound similar it is vastly different and why they would never really work out.

[catchyhuh]

my fave lupin iii blog .... give me your wisdom

cologne / perfume scents for the gang

i had to do an embarrassing amount of research on this one. mostly because perfume lore goes a lot deeper than i ever could have imagined and i wanted to give you something GOOD so ALL THAT SAID if any of you disagree with this you may be right. i did five quizzes, read up on multiple blogs from the 2000s, learned the "scent families" and at the end of the day just gave up and typed "douchiest colognes" into google

lupin: generally speaking, regardless of WHAT he's getting, any "subtle" notes are going to now have the force of a freight train the way he's practically bathing in this stuff. which is pretty rough when already coupled with really strong, amber-y scent type shit. lupin's cologne does not smell light and pleasant, it smells like you walked into a dark red cloud, which is ironic considering the conclusion i came to was dolce and gabbana light blue. people fucking hate this smell, despite parts of it sounding good in theory, and since lupin's shitty cologne has been addressed canonically numerous times, i feel this is it. even a tiny bit of this perfume makes so many people seem to wither like flowers in the sun so i can only imagine what happens when a guy who's been dunktanking himself in this walks in the room

jigen: again, its kind of overpowering. not because he overdoes it like lupin, but again, these are just not very subtle people, and even if jigen does SEEM reserved, he likes making a scene just as much as the others in the right environment. like, a mix of amber and woodsy types. i ended up on dior fahrenheit on this one and it made me realize both lupin and jigen using like, excessively common brands makes sense. for lupin its brand recognition, for jigen it's convenience. he probably smelled this in the fucking 90s and just committed to it since

fujiko: this was simultaneously the hardest and easiest, because i kept looking trying so damn hard to figure this out, to pinpoint what would SCREAM fujiko while still being unique enough to appeal to her lavish tastes, but NORMIE enough that i would be able to read up the notes on perfume reddit (they seem to know what they're talking about there) only to realize. wait. this is the same bitch who won't even keep her hair dyed the same color all the time. fujiko has no specific fashion sense beyond "stylish and with the current times" and i feel that's what applies to her perfume too. well and. hot. i guess. stylish, current, and hot. that's like 50 bottles right off the bat. regardless, it'll always be bold. thats right baby we're at amber AGAIN, but because she doesn't wanna scare off potential prey there's always a faint undertone of sweet flowers. she's smart like that even her perfume is calculated.

goemon: my man does not wear cologne on any occasion. he thinks its silly because you can smell good for free if you just fucking. bathe. why pay 80 dollars to smell bad? HOWEVER (as just established) goemon is bathing and 90% of shampoos/bodywashes have a scent. and goemon's is very... crisp. kinda citrus-y at times? this is the most mundane answer (and the most accessible they got this shit at walmart) but you know that mint teatree shampoo? he's got the faintest hint of that specific scent lingering on him

zenigata: this is going to sound so funny and mean but like. imagine if a smell was trying to look cool but just kind of making an ass of itself. i feel like that's what he'd have, regardless of if the cologne did actually smell good on anyone else, it'd feel just a bit overzealous on him. it was way difficult to find something that made sense to me but wasnt like, again, 80 fucking dollars, because you know for a fact he's spending 15 tops. and that's if he even remembers to wear it. at best, for some reason, i feel like he'd be a sandalwood guy but i can't really place why? honestly i was kinda ready to give up until i saw GREY FUCKING FLANNEL BABY!!! THIS SHIT IS DIRT CHEAP HAS BEEN AROUND SINCE THE 70S AND APPARENTLY EVERYBODY'S DAD KNEW SOMEBODY WHO WORE THIS! AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S IN IT? SANDALWOOD!!!!!!

now i can finally close all these fucking perfumania tabs

[merwynsartblog]

THISSS IS GONNA BE A LIL WEIRDDDD- BUTTTT its not like gross or anything its just sweet stuff im sorry if what i write seems weird

MARCO HAS BODY ISSUES. I RLLY HEAVILY THINK THAT SINCE JAZ SORTA....FORCED HIM TO GET FAT...so ofc marco is sorta..feeling very off about his body and dislikes it alot- he has more fat than muscle and he sorta gave up losing weight but he doessss...feel like hes ugly and not good enough EVEN THOUGH HE SHOULDNT BC HES BEAUTIFUL-

So i sortaaaa like to think his boyfriends sorta..like..always say sweet things about his body and always saying things like "But i love my personal warm pillow :(" and silly things like that *Looking at kevin and radford MOTHER FUCKING TWIGS/SILLY*

Rick when marco gets comfortable with him with touch i really think he wouldddd sorta kiss his stomach and hug him and it just makes marco melt alot- rick i dont see him as a talker so marco sorta...learns what hes trying to say by his actions so the first time hes confused but after a few more times he slowly gets it and just...MELTS- ITS SWEET TO HIM fhdhdj

RLLY LIKE TO THINK RADFORD WOULD TALK ABOUT ALOT OF ADVANTAGES ABOUT HIS BODY AND TELL HIM LIKE- "your a healthy amount of fat- you do know there is a healthy amount of fat right?" bc i hc radford as the thinnest in the group, and i sorta hc him having to research on body stuff a long tim ago bc he wasnt getting so much weight- AND I LIKE TO THINK HE LOVESSSSS LAYING HIS HEAD ON MARCO CHEST/STOMACH AND JUST RAMBLING TO HIM LIKE A SILLY GOOF HE IS/POS

STREBER- i can imagine him actually sorta asking questions like "why do you think your ugly?" and stuff like that and slowlyyyy realizing oh shit her ex was a ass- and just.. basically having a real talk about how she fine how he looks and if shes fat and ugly then he is ugly- as a light hearted silly thing and marco just..sorta giggles and tells him "your not ugly" and streber probably would go "well your not ugly either!-" and it sorta makes marco feels better- i likeeeeeeeee to think streber likes laying on top of marco- it just feels nice tbh-

KEVINNNN- like i said i hc him as not a good comforter or at least not used to it so hes sorta awkward about it- BUTTTTT!! HES ONE OF THE ONLY ONE WHO HAD BODY ISSUES HIMSELF- (i think streber didnt really have any and rick doesnt talk much so he cant really comfort like that and radford doesnt deal with that too often so he cany say anything about it) BUT KEVIN- THE TRANS ICON- he would sorta know hoe to comfort him about it- hes very gentle about it too and basically listing alot of nice things about marco and basically telling him hes fine and perfect and wouldn't trade him for anything in the world fhfhd ALSOOO..i sortaaaaa...think he likes it when marco lays on him like a weighted blanket- its nice! and he likes just kissing his chest and arms- which the arms sorta get marco giggling bcccc- uh....*Looking away in a silly way/silly)

but yeah they all be good sweet boyfriends

@totally-not-a-tickle-blog @jonesy-squish

[big-greer]

I know i dont usually post stuff like this, for the longest time if you had asked me what my gender was id say i was a regular guy..but in truth i say that but i never really felt like i "Fit" with the term guy. Like in my brain whenever i think of myself i never really think specifically about being a male. Before i just assumed "oh its cause i am one, obviously i wouldnt consciously think of that. its sort of a given" but looking back that clearly wasnt the case, always joked how i barely counted as a guy and most people either would laugh like its a joke but a few days ago a coworker asked why..and i sort of froze up cause i had never really stopped and asked myself why? Like i knew i didnt act like a normal guy, i didnt think like one, i never had that attachment to the title of being male. so i always felt this disconnect from manhood, and even when my father tried to teach me to be a man it always felt like i was just an outsider looking in and learning a lesson through a window or something. he tried all kinds of stuff you would expect a "manly" guy to know, hell he even taught me how to track through a forest (would cut notches in trees and we walked from the top of a mountain to the bottom and had me lead us back following the marks he made. yeah dad take your like 14 year old to the fucking bottom of a mountain and make me track cut marks like some legendary hunter lol). and he would always explain what manhood was and i just....it never connected to me you know? i always chocked that up to the fact my dad was never really around (after he and ma divorced he sorta slowly dissapeared from my life till he was dead one day) and so i figured i wasnt like a regular guy cause i was raised by like, 95% woman only so i thought that might be why? but as ive come to realize it isnt that and ive just never really vibed with the idea of being just a guy, its never clicked for me.

Now dont get me wrong, the idea of using she/her pronouns actually is uncomftorable to me so now i feel like im sort of just floating here? in between gender in my own sort of like...little world and im worried about doing it right. Yeah i know "oh i want to do good at gender which is a logical and reasonable thing that can be done" i know i know. But like, i dont want to wear makeup and dresses and stuff (though nail polish would be nice, perhaps a good black would be cool.) and i feel like i dont particularly want to wear any womans clothing? i like guy clothes, there comfy, fit me nice, and for obvious reasons they are all i got lol. Also i like having my goatee and facial hair so thats also a thing. i just worry that after browsing the nonbinary tag that cause of stuff like this i wouldnt be good at being nonbinary, or that i would do it wrong. OH also that i would still be comfortable with people using he/him pronouns as well as they/them but wouldnt feel comftorable with somebody using she/her ones (perhaps this is just cause he/him pronouns are all ive known my entire life and thats why im more comfy with them). yeah all that makes me worried id be doing nonbinary wrong, which i know is a dumb sentence cause nobody can do gender "wrong" and that its a personal thing that is up to only the person whose gender its about feelings on the situation. but that lingering doubt is still in my mind, that i will be some sort of fraud or not ACTUALLY nonbinary and stuff. cause lord knows alot of tumblr views nonbinary as just "WOMAN 2" and if you arnt some hyper androgynous person you arnt actually nonbinary and i know i know, i shouldnt care what fuckin morons on tumblr say.

But gender stuff is new to me, VERY knew. Lord knows i still have strange feelings towards being ace and sometimes worry im not "ACE" enough to be considered ace. so im def still fighting some internal demons about this stuff. But having good friends around is helping out alot and i cant even imagine how id handle dealing with this sort of stuff alone (cause lord knows what little family i got left wouldnt be the most...supportive) anyway uh, gender is fuckin wild and confusing and stupid and simple and everything and nothing and lord does it give me a headache.

[pansy-picnics]

i would love to see and here more about emery !

old ask i just dug up but oughhghh em emmy my beloved…,,,..ive been trying to work on alina development recently as well as a few other things but ACTUALLY now that u mention it i just realized i don’t think i ever talked abt florence here!!! she’s emery’s bio mom!!!

honestly when i first made emery i told myself i wasnt gonna develop anyone from her bio family mostly because i KNEW i would get attached to them. but alas i DID and i HAVE.

don’t ask me about her dad tho. he’s out of the picture and idk what he did but whatever it was he was probably the problem. em’s ginger genes run strong but otherwise thats the only remnant of his existence

florence (flora for short) was very spiritual and hardworking, as well as open minded, down to earth and creative….she was a talented writer and enjoyed dabbling in poetry and fiction. flora was struggling, but she did her best to care for emery with what she had, and would always try to make up for the times she couldn’t be there.

she was only alive for the first few years of her daughter’s life, so she didn’t get to encounter the. frankly gorier side of emery’s passions; but emery was a curious kid who asked a lot of questions about everything and florence was always happy to answer. she would’ve supported them just as much as varian and hugo do, though she’d definitely be a bit unsure of how she would’ve tried her best. em loves florence very much and always has very fond memories of her, she basically gave up everything for emery :’3

i’m not exactly sure how florence died but it was definitely something related to an illness,,,, flora was already in poor health before emery was born and they weren’t well off enough to afford any extensive medical care. seeing their mom like this impacted emery in a lot of ways, and it subconsciously ended up pushing her towards her interests in biology and medicine.

when they do officially adopt emery varian and hugo try to dig up as much information as possible on florence as well. they see that em has that strong connection with their mom and they can’t bear to imagine them just growing up and forgetting about it,,,, so they spend a lot of time in the library learning as much as possible and telling her about it, to make sure she never forgets where she came from :((( <3

all that said though don’t worry bc flora is in fact alive and well in a modern au…i think for some reason she wasn’t able to take care of em full time, so varian and hugo coparent with her. her and rapunzel are best friends and she and emery get to hang out a few times a month so flora can take her out for lunch and emery can infodump about neurosurgery procedures or something

they watch gray’s anatomy and make fun of it together

[tin-cant]

I've been thinking about the Brenattos recently

I've been engaging with the cr fandom for maybe a year or so, particularly in Veth centric parts of it and I've noticed two groups. The "veth×yeza is a perfect ship and I adore them and they deserve everything" and the "They have serious unresolved issues in their marriage that the fandom ignores" group. I follow both groups because honestly anyone who calls themselves a veth stan is cool in my book and has amazing taste.

But the thing is I kinda agree with both? I adored them when I was first watching c2 but I've seen some great meta and things Sam has said on talks that makes it pretty clear they have problems. Maybe im so conflicted because I like them both or I like the concept of these two parents being put through so much and coming back to eachother. Maybe it's just a matter of taste and I'm a little baby im denial who can only handle so much relationship angst.

It could also be because of how it was handled in c2. Mostly they were treated as this adorable couple with a message of acceptance, but then we'd get hints that Veth wasnt happy. I believe Sam even mentioned that he expected Yeza to get confrontational and was disappointed when he didn't. The campaign just kinda ended without tackling any of it. It felt like it was all set up and no payoff or even addressing of said setup. All of the neins ending were very clearly meant to be good and them settling down pretty much permanently. So Veth being stuck in an unhappy marriage just doesn't seem right to me but an offscreen divorce that was never mentioned during the end of c2 also feels really lame.

Where does this put me personally as someone who wants to see the angst and the wholesomeness? Personally I adore the idea of them promising to be more open with eachother and slowly improving over the years. Can you imagine if there was a scene somewhere around the end of c2 where Yeza finally breaks down and admits how scared Veth leaving constantly makes him and Veth explaining to him why the idea of being a housewife again doesn't make her happy? Them both acknowledging that they kept these things to themselves because they're scared of hurting eachother. That leading into them discussing what Veth can do in the future that will actually make her happy without leaving constantly or putting herself in danger. Veth thinking on it and deciding to open the camp. Veth realizing how lonely Yeza can get and taking breaks when she gets to caught up in work to spend time with him. Them paying attention to when it sounds a little bit to much like the other is saying things just to make them happy and calling eachother out for it. For me at least that's way more interesting than the idea of a post canon divorce or a perfect couple that has zero problems. (Probably cause I'm an overly optimistic sucker for people learning how to be happy together again)

This unfortunatly isnt a take that I've seen others have yet so I'm releasing this rambly post into the wild with the hopes someone will eat it up. Maybe even write a fic cause you can probably tell from this post I'm no writer.

[yellowbluemoonshine]

Wish there was more Shiggy/Toga stuff. :)

ShigaToga; Great Compatibility

Sure but first, i would like to say that i wasnt shipping them at first or expected to ship them because well, to me, Shigaraki was always redeemable villain and Toga was crazy yandere girl. I used to not pay attention to their relationship or any other league relationship before MVA arc. And honestly, it was hard to imagine Shigaraki having romantic partner or involving any romance but biggest reason is their age. At beginning, we didnt know their age so i thought Shigaraki was like 23-24 at least and Toga is high school girl so lol but then he turned out 20 years old, a lot younger than i expected. He is the one who has closest age to Toga in league, 3 years age difference isnt actually much, if it was 4 or more, it would be but 3 years age difference depends. Especially in Shigaraki and Toga's case, since they are not your usual 20 years old or 17 years old. Shigaraki is literally Afo's hostage since he was 5 years old and Toga is living in streets since her middle school so yeah. And 'average 20 years old would have to take care of Shigaraki and average 17 years old could easiely take advantage of someone like Toga too. (And the thing is; I am pretty sure that people wouldnt mind shipping Twice with Toga, if Twice was 20 years old but suddenly its a problem because it is Shigaraki, even though, it should be other way around and Shigaraki isnt really big brother to her, yeah). I think its not a problematic ship. I think it is very good ship with potential and also, there is kinda set up but well, i wish we get more lov interactions.

Also, i would like to say that the only reason i ship is because i truly believe that Shigaraki and Toga can actually develop healthy romantic relationship. And honestly, its hard not to ship after realizing their canon interaction, Toga's character and how much Toga is fond of him. Anyway, lets continue.

It is even more interesting since they are written to be compatible with each other. Their dynamic is like murderous couple, not in a way 'we make each other worse' but in a way 'we make each other better'.

Their characterization is inspired by Joker and Harley Quinn. All it takes is one bad day. Though, Shigaraki is opposite of Joker. He is not Toga's abuser. He is her healer.

They have the opposite attracts energy.

When i think about those two together, I realize how healthy and compatible their relationship would be.

Since they are both murderers and since they both became like this despite being good people/they tried their best until reaching breaking point, they wouldn't judge each other for this. Their life has been destroyed both causes of their quirk and environment so they would understand each other.

Who Toga really is was ignored her whole life, and that's why in the end, Toga controlled her all relationship. She always stalks people, having side relationships to have absolute control. Even with her relationship with Twice, she has more control over her relationships. So what Toga needs to do is give control to her partner too, she shouldn't try to control their life. She should be letting that person s taking decisions too. Shigaraki is the opposite. His life was always controlled by others. He didn't make decisions in his life so he needs to take control of his own life. Shigaraki needs to make decisions in his relationships too. Shigaraki wants to be a leader in the group while Toga has no interest in being a leader, she is ok with being a helper. Shigaraki became a villain cause of pain, and hate. His life is full of pain, this is why he needs to see good things in life. Toga became a villain cause of pleasure and love. Her life is full of pleasure but she shouldn't ignore the pain of life. They are both equal children, this is why they would be equal in a relationship, they could learn how to deal with life and grow together. Toga is living in her world, she doesn't see people, only she is there. Meanwhile, Shigaraki only sees other people, he doesn't see himself, even in his memories.

Normally, Toga acts close to other people but in reality, she is too cold and acts logically cause she wasn't loved. Meanwhile, Shigaraki normally seems too cold and cautious but actually, he is very warm and emotional. when someone pushes him, he acts emotionally, unlike Toga who acts logically. And even though, Toga is more emotionally intelligence than Shigaraki (and many other characters), Shigaraki is a lot better at socially interacting with others and making friends. Again, since Toga was never really loved, she would afraid of being loved, hugged, being touched, at first. While Shigaraki lost his family with his own hands, he would afraid of loving, hugging, and touching someone. Shigaraki has always had a relationship with someone but since his all relationship is abusive towards him, he has no interest in having a partner, also he is like asexual. While Toga never had a relationship with someone, all she wants is to have a partner, also she is like bisexual. Shigaraki has no one in his life as his lover while Toga has many lovers in her mind. Shigaraki is always being chased after, and controlled by people while Toga always stalks people. All Toga want is to be accepted by someone, and belonging to somewhere. While Tenko’s hero dream is literally about giving a place to outcasts like Toga.

Toga always sees people as things but she needs to see people as people. Meanwhile, Shigaraki was treated as a thing his whole life, he needs to see himself as a human being, not a thing. Toga needs to see worth in other people while Shigaraki needs to see worth in his life. Shigaraki needs someone who will be beside him, loyal to him, someone who will fight beside him, even against the whole world. Toga needs loyalty towards someone, a person who will inspire her and since she heals with Shigaraki’s kindness, she would fight beside him, even against the whole world, since they are both outcasts as equals. Shigaraki needs support, and Toga needs inspiration, just like their foils Deku and Uraraka. Shigaraki is very destructive and he always hurts himself he needs to learn to care about his life. Toga enjoys someone’s bleeding, and getting hurt, she needs to care about other people’s pain.

Toga likes spicy food, and Shigaraki likes sweet things, kinda funny. Both Shigaraki and Toga don't want anyone to do their thing, Toga cause she wants to choose what she wants on her own, for Shigaraki, he doesn't want to be a payer to someone.

Shigaraki is youngest child of his family, he has that kinda spoiled kid energy and very codependant and he always needs a babysitter to take care of him while Toga (and Dabi) is oldest child of her family, she is very independent girl. Even though, she is the youngest in league, she tends to take care of people around her too and she is living in streets on her own since middle school.

I am sure that there is more. They are written to oppose each other in every way but also in a good way and it is really entertaining. They have murderous couple energy with amazing chemistry but at the same time, its is unexpectedly very stable for them. This post is actually kinda old but whatever, it is fun to think about it.

[evilmagician430]

concept art/character design for an acachalla centric horror story i've been brainstorming since last school year ^_^ still havent finalized any of these designs, i feel like they need a little more tweaking...

WARNING: blood, body horror, the mangled corpse of a dead animal, guns, crowbars, medical equipment and general medical imagery, and all around just weird and gross stuff

ADDITIONAL WARNING: really fucking long

story and images under the cut:

i imagine the premise is that sue, at the police station, gets a call from the acachallas like in canon. she decides to go to their house to help, alone because her coworkers are all busy/hate her (theyve been in the force long enough to go corrupt while sue still tries to do whats right)

when she goes in she discovers that the acachallas have been dead for like 10 years and their bodies are barely even intact. she also notices that their house is trashed, not only does it seem completely reclaimed by nature, covered in fungus and insects and blood, but a lot of their furniture and appliances are missing. their rooms look like theyre missing all that wouldve signaled the character of whomever inhabited it, and she thinks, well, maybe the house was looted after they died, but that doesn't explain who called...

then she accidentally steps in a pile of fungus. which wasnt there before. she turns around and a man, fully formed, has sprouted out of the ground. he is made almost entirely out of mushrooms and he has 2 shotguns for arms. he tells her to leave his house. she starts to run but then another figure stops her. a very tall woman who speaks in the same voice that called the police department. her form is indiscernible in the dark, but soon sue comes to realize this woman is not human.

she's not even alive.

sue meets the others and, sure enough, they all seem to be amalgamations of various household objects, both inorganic and organic matter, forming crude fascimiles of who they once were. there are 5 bodies and 5 of them, so they must be possessed by the immortal spirits of the acachallas...!

of course, it turns out they never needed help. it was merely a trap to lure sue home.

they accept her and care for her far more than her biological family or "friends" at work ever did. but being with them takes a toll on sue's body. eventually she dies and they build a new body for her. she wakes up as a beautiful monster. she wakes up as herself.

you're going to notice none of these drawings are of sue- that's because she's still just a regular human in this. by the end she might become a horrifying monster like the rest of them, but i havent designed her.

i took inspiration from a variety of sources, but i can only remember some of them off the top of my head:

undertale (lorewise the whole thing about monsters dust being spread on their favorite object so they can live in it, also photoshop flowey designwise was a huge inspiration)

deltarune (largely just the enemy designs)

dont hug me i'm scared (the teacher's designs, general vibes, also lamp's explanation of what happens when someone dies in episode 2 of the tv show)

tipping point (literally just stylistically. i need to learn digital collage to properly portray these designs)

tokusatsu (the costumes for the gorma in gosei sentai dairanger are like. really good. i enjoy their designs severely)

communications era ghost and pals mvs (the collage stuff speaks to my soul)

and thats all i can remember rn. now heres the first pictures i drew of each member of the family (on my world history notes) and the most recent draft of their designs (in mspaint) this is basically all of the drawings of them.

beginning with spencer, he's the smallest of the family at only 4 feet tall. he is made out of his computer and manga collection basically. on each of these i left a lot of notes in the pictures breaking down what each part of the body is made out of. i wanted to incorporate figurines and action figures into his design too but i decided to keep it more focused. but all these designs are still subject to change. a teacher walked by as i was drawing him and said she liked how it was "very industrial but feminine" or something like that.

sally! im not entirely sure what that first sketch is but as you can tell i wanted her to be wearing a doll mask from the start. i gave her this big poofy princess dress to conceal where godzilla connects to the shelves that act as her legs because it looked very strange and did not look like the shelves were her legs. the dress turns into curtains which are draped over her shelves. she was very hard to design but very fun. also i just chose random dolls and stuff i know g3 draculaura and kylie and pnp sasha are like recent dolls that wouldnt exist yet. its a mockup ok

next we got billy who is built out of his own medical supplies. i wanted to make his body one of those IV drip stands, although that means both him and spencer have very similar lower halves, with the wheels. hes the only one who doesnt really wear any clothes because billy doesnt really have an iconic outfit; the only thing i remember he wears is obviously his medic outfit but thats like. a whole outfit. i dont understand the layers of it so i can just put part of it on this thing. maybe i shouldve just given him scrubs. or what i think billy would wear that represents him

gertrude having a dead cat as her hair is a reference to a really specific one-off joke i read about on the wiki but dont actually remember from any of the videos. i think hair is a very important part of self expression so they would want to recreate their hairstyles with whatever they could find. it was hard as hell getting that cat into a shape that made literally any sense but i think i figured it out. her outfit is a combination of what she normally wore and her old costume as the crowbar, which i was inspired to design my version of as well (will post that drawing later). i think its very interesting how gertrude seems to exist to trap and keep safe or detain/kill various dangerous beings. shes like a shepherd but also an executioner.

papa acachalla doesnt have a draft cause this was literally the first time i tried drawing him in this story because i was stuck on trying to imagine what hed be made out of and how he would look like. then i remembered fungus comes in all shapes and forms and also works as a metaphor for his connection with his family and his roots. also his arms are guns LOL! i wanted to make him more catholic but i couldnt come up with how while still having him look like papa acachalla. maybe adding that priest collar cause i think father grigori has it anyways but its hard to draw stuff around his neck area.

[lexysstorm]

Live thoughts while reading Thunder:

- why did frostpaw just use the word hours?

- please gay frostwhistle please

- goosegrass? I think thats a new one.

- AAAAAA i just want to read frostpaw pov shes the only one im interested in but ill give the others a shot

- LILYHEARTTTT queen

- if squif doesnt become leader i will be very unhappy

- OMG IVYPOOL DEPUTY????

- ok but why is night going with them i dont see a point

- i really really really hate the decision to pair sun with night it doesnt feel earned. Just let sun be in shadow its so much more interesting there

- ok sunbeam show me whatcha got

- stop being stinky lionblaze

- BAHAHHA BERRYHEART????

- ok she kinda right tho- does look kinda desperate sun im sorry girl you dont need no man

- ok i like spark and finch WOOO

- really love how berryheart trespassed just to whine at sun for leaving

- FROSTPAWWWW

- i dont remember smoky being this nice but ok

- FROSTPAW KIDNAPPED BY PEOPLE???

- FINALLY someone brings tree up in all this

- thats a HILARIOUS trial idea actually

- THE KIT SWEARING LMAOO

- finchsun please

- i think its kinda dumb that riverstar is here ngl- then again i didn't read his super edition

- OH MY GOD SHE GOT SPAYED?? IM

- theres goes my frostwhistle😭😭😭

- another traveling book im

- LMAOOOO NIGHTHEART IS SUCH A BAD CAT???? Hes going for fame😭😭😭😭BROOO

- oh my GODDDDD sunbeam girlie PLEASEEEEEE LEAVE HIS ASS AFTER THIS IM BEGGING

- OH MY GOD SQUIRRELSTAR????? HOLY FUCK

- STOP BEING A BITCH LIGHTLEAP

- i am actually very interested to see what tree comes up with for a solution

- what if frostpaw brings a cat back from the forest territories to be riverclans leader wouldnt that be STUPID

- OTTER MOMENT

- usual nightheart L

- ok i have a pool and a cat that goes outside and the pool cover does NOT bend under her weight💀💀💀theyre made to support a humans weight just in case (i think, dont try that)

- yeah frost is kind of carrying you night step up ur game

- dovewing ur right to be defensive queen- kind of shitty of ivy to be kind of trying to use her like that even if i do like ivy,,,

- omg "im not letting you manipulate me into manipulating him!" PERIOD QUEEN

- berryhearttttttt whatre you planninggggg

- cherry fall is right just give it a lil shove- im sure they could aim the rock to not hit a den

- i bet the black cat that refused to eat with the park cats will be rcs next leader but that's a crack theory

- meditating cats

- ok well. Why cant she just. Learn everything she needs to abt meditation real quick then go back to rc

- WERENT YOU SHADOWCLAN LAST WEEK HAHAHAHAH FROSTPAW

- YOURE NOT GOING TO SHOW US HOW SHE REALIZED??????????? HELLO?????

- oh nevermind okay

- "ive always known" SUREEEE unless im forgetting something from previous books, you didnt suspect a THING frost

- ok so her name is rook, ill remember that

- wait. Waffle. Waffle that won the contest? WAFFLEPAW????

- Worse than you imagined??? what does THAT mean

- READY AS ILL EVER BE

- cherrfall sus

- Cherryfall?????

- OH MY GOD QUEEN SHIT SUNBEAM HOLY SHIT

- sunbeam u really need to tell someone what youve seen and heard istg

- wow the big reveal nobody saw coming. HEY i DO like the idea though! Frost getting manipulated by her mother and a cat she loved is pretty fun to read, more interesting than nightheart. Even sunbeams pov has been pretty fun. Honestly if night didnt have a pov/wasnt a main character i would love this arc a lot more! And if sun didnt switch clans smh MAKE HER GAY HUNTERS

- ok well. Frostpaw. Dont. Do it. In rc camp??? Do it at a gathering- so EVERYONE knows

- oh my god is she actually gonna do that?? Lets go????

- oh my GOD NO WAY ARE THEY GOING TO VOTE HIM OUT??? TIGERSTAR II IMPEACHMENT????????

- wait dont the medcats have to be w the impeachment squad or am i misremembering

- ok good someone brought it up, but there should be a rule that if the medcat is closely related to leader they should be excused bc of conflict of interest right?

- YESSSS PUDDLESHINE

- uhuh SUREEEEE podlight

- NONONONONONONONONONONONONO

- THATS IT?????? BRUHHHH

[majocelot]

I wonder how Ocelot thinks of The Boss sometimes. Surely, he later learns that's his mother. Obviously, he never knew before she died (well, I guess "assumedly" is better).

... As someone who grew up without my mother for most of my life, I think I project my own experience.

Apathy, unchecked bitterness, avoidance. Trauma, especially of the absence of parents, is hard to describe.

Ocelot's upbringing is intentionally convoluted, though I more so believe the idea The Philosophers kept a hold on him for the majority of his childhood/adolescence. Did he have an assigned guardian, was he brought up in a Philosopher run orphanage? It's all untouched by canon, as is similar with MOST childhoods of MGS characters.

Growing up without guardianship, however, feels most relevant to his personality. Cool, controlled, calculated. Raising yourself, being both father/mother, you cannot afford to be a child. Especially being puppeted around by an unseen group.

... I could imagine his growing disgust. To be alone in the world, a blank slate, only to be immediately and eagerly consumed by an omnipresence looming over you.

He's defection makes sense, a form of rebellion to leave the nest where he nurtured himself all alone. Like a juvenile bird, he began to sore. It was less of dedication to a nation, in fact it was about the disinterest in any nation. Double agent, flying from tree-to-tree.

He lived wrecklessly. Uncaring. No support, no strings... trying to find purpose.

Now, I love bosselot. I do believe Ocelot felt deeply for Big Boss... but I think that was only a part of his own philosophy to disengage from the world.

Ocelot learning of his mother would have been such an interesting character arc, that of course wouldn't properly be touched on given MGS's storytelling style in regards to emotion (show, don't tell). It must have been the true turning point, but it could have also taken years to digest.

Being forced through the stages of grief, perhaps even prolonged given the scenario of him meeting her and being unaware until after she was gone.

Hate, bitterness, disgust, pain.

In more civilian scenarios, a son would likely partake in wreckless behaviors such as drinking, driving, and drugs. I believe it would have been similar for Ocelot, but factoring in that his world was and had always been tailored, planned, and omnipresent.

The gap between Portable Ops and MGSV, I think that would have been his digestion period upon realizing. Given how calculated he had been, believing to be above all his superiors, beyond nations... to realize he was still just a pawn in the end, a pawn that was born to become a pawn, it must have over took him.

I theorize it was a very ugly period for himself. Chaotic, manic and so forth. Very out of style for the MGS story style, thus unbrushed (i mean of course, probably wasnt even considered. but still fun to imagine).

Ocelot letting his world go in those years, fighting and trying to figure out who the hell he was and what he wanted to be. How to become his own... I want that to be played with more in fanon for my own catharsis. LOL.

[narutomaki]

i don't think orochimaru's kids are 100% clones, I think there's a mix of different dna there, so no, I don't think their kids would also be... his... (at least I think so....) but do tell more about this OC!!

THANK YOU! I have no desire to watch Boruto to gather information for minimal stuff when I don't even like Canon leading up to the war arc so bless your heart

The OC is the child of one of Saradas kids (So Sasuke-> Sarada-> her kid -> oc) and now with ur clarification I can ignore my impulse to make her one of Orochimarus kids kids and add that extra generation in there that I wanted.

She's eccentric and loud and doesn't have much of a filter so she's 1) not great Shinobi material so she never received any (OFFICIAL) training and 2) doesn't have a lot of friends so she does cling to her mentor figures a lot. Unfortunately for those around her her mentor figure is Orochimaru and she's very happy to be a test subject as long as she also gets unbarred access to all the information coming out of that. He's mostly stopped the vivisection and human experimentation by now and is winding down wrt "wah wah I wanna be immortal to learn everything" because he's coming to realize there is no way he COULD know everything because of the inherent ability of humans to be creative and inventive.

ANY WAY

Orochimaru lives pretty much the same way he did circa Naruto Era so she does as well not really important just a note.

SO.

one day she gets sick of something coming up from the "outside world" and just bemoans that she can't go back in time and fix some shit so that the world here was different. Orochimaru chastises her because if she went back in time she would never be able to see how she had affected the future because she has no desires for immortality and he's nearing the end of his tolerance for it.

So she's thinking thay night as she's sorting through stuff to do the next day and she goes. Well I am a seal master in training... I do have all this knowledge and abilities... I could ask for a research access pass to the Nidaime and Yondaime time space seals... hmmm

Long story short she goes back in time after convincing Orochimaru no no this is TOTALLY a good idea imagine the studies we could write.

She overshoots by a couple dozen years.

The Warring States period. Which neither of them have any knowledge of actually living in. This w9uld be fine they could adapt and figure it out. IF. SHE HAD ANY IMPULSE CONTROL WHAT-SO-EVER. AND OROCHIMARU WASNT NOW INTERESTED IN WATCHING HER TRAIN WRECK THE TIMELINE.

She seals away Zetsu. Fucks around and finds out. Ykno. The usual. She's having a grand old time. Minor issue.

To seal away Zetsu she had to pretty much get into the Uchiha compound bcus that's where he was lurking when she go a feel on him.

Major issue.

She and Orochimaru got caught.

Even more major issue. Instead if letting Orochimaru fight or talk their way out of it she blurts out "WE'RE FROM THE FUTURE I HAVE PROOF."

Chaos ensues. She whispers secrets on he knows to Madara and secrets only he knows to Izuna. They are forced to beleive that she is either an exceptional spy willing to work for them or that she's telling the truth.

Orochimaru is pretty much just like. watching that all unfold. waiting for the split second time frame he'll have to yank them out of there should things go south.

However apparently Izuna is far too fascinated by this and insists on not harming them and picking their brains for info. Orochimaru has to cope with this. He's stuck there. He has invested way too much time and effort and (eugh) affection into helping raise and inevitably taking in (vague mumbles a name).

Hijinks.

[tittysuckersworld]

okay okay okay being evil and talking about this au and plot structures im making. no one can stop me. i am not done designing everything yet but yk is ya. okay now pls pls pls someone read this and ask me about the au more-

see more to see this gay go insane

so!!! you have clicked further!! that was your first mistake. for the first little bit its them at 15/16, dazai was a child actor that moved to be a idol. her main thing is her acting abilities, branding and mystery around her(shes alwase covered one of her eyes and worn the bandages so it gets questions going)

wile chuuya is the lead singer of a small band called the sheeps. she grew up hanging out at this music shop her big sister worked in a lot and learned how to play multible instruments when young. heres what happened with them as kids because semi made scenes for em.

this is where they first meet, at a band contest hosted by dazais company. dazai is sitting taking up a whole bench in disguise. and chuuya is not having it. i imagine they fight a bit, have chuuya play in first round of competition with the sheeps, then end up with dazai and chuuya doing some stuff outside of the competition. like duking it out at the arcade. when all of round 1 is done its revealed that theres only 2 positions that a person from a band could fil for the company. chuuya dosent hear of this cause her and dazai are still goofing around.

once thats all over and they realize the time, the two get back to the contest. chuuya has to head backstage cause the sheep made it to next round! she takes off her gloves when getting ready and they "dissapear". the other 2 in the sheep have already finnished and left by the time chuuya realizes.(in this chuuya has hand scars from an incident when she was young. it was pretty bad and her hands arnt the prettiest so she hides them under gloves. that was all i could come up with sryy-)

as the performances go on, dazai sees the sheep start playing but dosent see chuuya with em. curious she looks around backstage only to find chuuya crying(chuuya still dosent know who dazai is).

chuuya acuses dazai of stealing her gloves wile she wasnt looking so she could win instead. dont have all the details for here, but uhh gay stuff happens posibly. im sorry i dont like writing ppl being mean-

but yeah they calm down and as dazais cleaning up chuuyas face, she hears her name being called to the stage. so she takes off her mask, puts it on chuuya, gives her hands a little kiss and takes care of competition stuff.

so suprize suprize! the contest was secretly about findinf some people to debut with dazai! as she would be becoming an idol soon. dazai was going to just find a way to get out of it til she found chuuya. aha ehe and then yeah. uhh she reduses down the winning slot to one person and announces she already has her winner backstage. mabey after says smth to sheeps??? idk idk idk again i cant write good and dont have much- but i hope i made things sorta clear. pls pls pls ask me more about this au because im putting my heart and soul into this

[anita-is-not-here-for-a-while]

We are human, what do we know about the future.

Here im writing another paragraph for you that I thought i would never do.

Life is full of mystery. Hours ago, i could still feel your skin against mine, now were miles away, Im on the sky.

We shared ourtime together today, but tonight when you recieve this message, were already in different timezone.

If i look back at myself 2 month ago before i came to bali, i was a different person. Day by day passed, i did enjoy every single day in bali whether or not it exhilarates.

Yes, i forced my self to enjoy and forget how messed up i was, trying to escape from my life, brought me there floating in the middle of nescience, loosing my direction surrounded by ignorances. Looking for something i didnt even know.

My second month of my stay was different.

June, 28th.

I met him.

I would never forget our first conversation that he was asking me 3 times if i wanted to learn how to play chess. And i replied with 3 words “i love chess”

I thought from the beginning it was clear enough how weird we could be.

I know i was impressed. By his chess.

But i didnt realize at first how my heart, mind, and body were impressed more than only by his chess.

Anita, she wasnt looking for someone to fall for. She thought love was not for her. So that it is hard for her to get attracted by a guy but it seems so easy the way you did.

I know that i had never given you compliments bcs this feeling is strange for me and i wasnt sure. Imagine getting an extreme levels of comfort from someone who you shared weird experience with before when your brain couldnt even process the logic.

For sure it doesnt mean i didnt see anything good in him.

If i have to say everything that i like about him, i promise he gotta fly so high, even higher then where i am right now.

He is more than what I have ever expected how a perfect guy could be. I thought my definition of a gentle man was too high and that kind of person doesnt exist. But now i know it wasnt true.

Days spent with you.

Slowly my lifestyle fixed, my mind relaxed, and my eyes opened. I didnt have to force to enjoy every moment anymore. I enjoyed anyway.

Youve changed my monochromatic days into pink, blue, yellow, and red. Now it is as beautiful as a kids drawing with limitless imagination. You impact my life in many good ways.

Most of my best experiences in bali was when me and him were becoming us.

I love the way he does me, i couldnt ask for more. I love the way i do him. I wouldnt get sick of it.

I felt his warm touching my cold eyes and now its melting into tears. I cant define if it is sorrow or pleasure, perhaps both but i need that.

With all of my heart i am saying thank-you for taking some parts on my life, i am glad.

im proud of you.

Promise me you will always keep being yourself.

With Love

-Random crazy girl