#oops extra art today

[astronomodome]

hard working momther

[pearlymel]

"The Masks We Wear"

Summary: as a journalist, you are itching to find the identity of this mysterious hero. But could it be that the hero is closer to you than you think?

Wc: 7.3k eat up

Warnings: Wriothesley x afab!reader, gn! reader, modern au, hero and villian au (one of each), reader is a journalist/cameraman, fluff, making out, crack (i laughed a lot writing this), angst (oops), one small sex scene, slightly under the influence, cursing, it's pretty unrealistic, petnames used: sunshine, love, and sweetheart.

Notes: i poured my heart and soul into this, i think it's my best piece so far ^^ give it a chance, maybe you'll love it. (Pleasepleasepleaseplease) Rbs are greatly appreciated!

Credits: banner art by the great @/danijaci

Click!

The city is absolutely beautiful today. No, no. It’s not because of the lights that makes the place brighter and a bit more magical, how it seems livelier with a group of teenagers laughing together while buying street foods together, or the old couple that seem still very much in love, the gentleman kneeling down and tying her shoes just to make sure she wouldn’t trip this time.

Humans can be cute, you think.

But of course, among those innocent ‘humans’ are those who desire destruction.

This time, you think you might have caught something in the shadows, and you stare intently at your camera, zooming it in to see the faintest color blending in with the darkness. Hair? A part of clothes? You don’t know, but you got it.

you have this obsession of finding out who the hero of this city was, or even the villian. Although, you would be technically be walking into death if you try finding out who the villian is.

Where did this hero come from? No one knows. Sure the crime rate has lowered, but it felt like the world became even more messed up.

It all started a couple of years ago when you were in your college days, one day almost dying from a falling building, and you thought you saw the scythe waiting to take your soul at that very moment but, no.

The mysterious hero of the city that you never thought you would never encounter carried the building with his super strength power, apparently.

He who has no name, took your hand and lead you into a safer area with the police.

cliché story, right. But that’s what got you into journalism and media now.

And let’s say… you’re too far into the deep black hole to back down now.

The almost blinding light made you come back to your senses, the sounds of engine roaring in the air as the bike approached you, and your shoulders were already slumped.

“How did you find me?” You raise your voice due to the loud engine running, covering parts of your vision from the light.

“Lucky guess.” Wriothesley replied gruffly, pulling his helmet off and shaking his head slightly to fix up his messy strands.

“Care to explain what on earth are you doing here in this shady alleyway? At nine thirty where the moon is out and wolves could be coming for you?” He starts scolding you, quirking an eyebrow when you give him the bored expression, and he immediately mimics it back.

“Taking pictures.”

“Of the rats?”

“Wriothesley.” You shoot him a look and he raises his hands in the air. “I understand your… obsession. But it could hurt you in the process, mentally and physically.”

You know he’s saying all this because he cares so much about you. Loves you too much that it would break his soul piece by piece if one day what you’re doing will hurt you.

“Hop in, sweetheart.” He hands you the extra helmet, and you take it with a sigh. Securing it around your head before taking your place behind him, wrapping your arms around his waist as he revved the engine.

The whole ride back was silent, yet traffic, which entirely ruined the whole mood. With the constant car horns ringing in your ear.

You tap at his thigh to grab his attention, “Why’s it traffic?” You grumble, rising yourself from the seat to look at the row of cars trying to get through.

“Not any holidays or events i can think of,” he responds back to you.

Red mixed with orange fills your vision, suddenly the car at the very front explodes. The car parts flying in the air and landing at the other vehicles which makes you frozen in shock.

Wriothesley’s clenches his hands tightly as he turns the bike around, speeding his way far away from the scene. “Hold onto me tight, and don’t look back, you hear?” He yells enough to grab your attention, and your arms tightens around him, but you have your head turned around to see the people yelling and dashing out of the vehicles. You want to capture the moment with your phone so you could submit it in for the news, but you know more than to ignore Wriothesley right now.

It’s not rare to see destruction happen in your city, it’s just… terrifying every time anybody witnesses it.

Maybe it wasn’t an accident, maybe it was planned.

“You’re not allowed to go out after seven.” Wriothesley makes it clear to you with his firm tone as you both step inside your shared apartment, locking the apartment with a click. He then tosses his keys into a bowl on a small table, before turning to look at you.

“Are you seriously setting a curfew for me? Please. what happened was not new—”

Your face is now being cradled by his rough hands, but the way he swipes a thumb under your eyebags really makes you melt. And you forget what you were going to say when his lips curl the slightest.

“I don't want anything happening to you. Ever.” He takes you in his arms, holding you like you were the most precious thing he ever held. “I didn't mean to pressure you like that. I'd hate it if you were in the position of those injured people.”

You pat his back to reassure him that hopefully nothing like that will happen. “And, if, hypothetically, something like that happened; What would y—”

“I'll kill everyone.” he doesn't even let you continue before he answers, though the chuckle against your hair followed after makes your tense shoulders relax.

“maybe not to that extent,” he lifts your head up to lean in and press a tender kiss on your forehead.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

“what is it?”

“… something or someone.”

Your boss gives you a nonchalant sharp look when you eagerly showed him the bits you managed to capture last night before you were interrupted by your great boyfriend.

His eyes squints at the more of a blurred photo that sits on the display of your camera, taking the glasses that hanged from his collar.

The sigh afterwards makes you feel discouraged when he hands you back your camera.

“i see it.” He starts and you perk up immediately.

“it looks like a blurred image of a fucking bird taking a shit on the electrical cords.” You press your lips into a thin line at his description. Too detailed of a description,

what a bastard.

It.. certainly didn't look like that.

You clear your throat, pinching the bridge of your nose to compose yourself.

“You're lucky i like your determination or you would've been fired,” he utters out in a lax tone, resting his glasses on his big bald head that you want to spill with ketchup.

“Keep looking, i need the hero's face, details, anything. Just think of the money you and i could both earn.” He seems too enthusiastic about it, showing you determination with his fists pressing together and his wide ear to ear smile.

You leave work early that day, starting your daily walk of looking around for at least two hours or—one hour?

No, Wriothesley would be too worried if you came back after… nine. Your words not his.

You need to rearrange a schedule in your head.

Step one: somehow convince your boss that you need to leave early everyday.

Step two: search every nook and cranny of the city, ask every shady person if they get to talk to the hero in person or got a glimpse of his name.

Step three: go to the dark web— is that car flying infront of you right now?!

Shit. Just why does everything have to go down wherever path you go?

The people around you panics, and you equally panic with them because you're no fucking hero to tell them to get away from that flying car.

You take your camera out hurriedly from its case that slung around your shoulder, pressing record while frantically looking around. The ground shakes, it shakes so much that it feels like an earthquake almost.

“it's him! The villian!” Someone shouts from the distance, and just like that the screams that follows are in sync.

You know why the ground shook, the street has become a battlefield for the hero and villain fighting together with all their strengths, the air is filled with tension as they both clash in an epic confrontation. The ground trembles beneath your feet again as they traded blows, sending shockwaves through the battlefield. The once tranquil street has now been transformed into a chaotic arena of power and destruction. As the battle rages on. The hero and villain continue their fight, each strike more powerful than the last, their movements a blur of speed and precision.

You try capturing anything with your camera, but your hand shakes that it was impossible. When the villian lands a powerful punch on the hero’s shoulder, sending him way back, it makes you think it's time to leave.

You run with the rest without stubbornness this time. You should've listened to Wriothesley, why did you always have to be so curious about everything?

This curiousity will kill you next after the cat.

“Taxi!” You shout, waving your hand at the yellow vehicle, but every taxi seems to ignore the people's pleas, determined to save themselves instead.

Guess it's time to burn calories and run back home.

You were a panting mess once you reached back to your comfort space, eyes zeroing at the running television in the living room. Watching the newscaster talk about today's battle and how it affected the shops and buildings.

It seems like the battle lasted twenty minutes before the villian gave up and fled away.

Your head snaps to the bathroom once you hear the sink water drip, you didn't even think if he would be here this early.

“Wriothesley,” you say breathlessly when you swing the door open, arms squeezing his side as you take a deep breath in.

“woah, easy there. What happened?” He takes you in, hand rubbing at your arm.

“i was…” nevermind. Maybe you shouldn't tell him what you have witnessed, he'll know once he checks the news.

You only realise that he was chest bared at the moment, and you furrow your eyebrows once you see a bruise on his shoulder.

“What happened?” It was your turn to ask, talking a gentle finger and running it over the bruise, earning a hiss from him.

“was changing the car oil at the repair shop.” He mumbles, gaze turning to the mirror, “then accidentally hit my shoulder once i got up.” he turns his arm, swinging it slowly.

“but you don't work at a car repair shop?”

“it's a side hustle, sunshine.”

“why didn't you tell me?” You press on, and he hangs his head low, both of his hands gripping the sink bowl.

Okay, maybe you have annoyed him a little too much now. Upon sensing your incoming apology, Wriothesley smiles at you.

“don't worry your pretty little head too much. The bruise will fade.”

“i can massage you later?” You offer, and he lets out a breathy chuckle. “You're the best.” He gives you a chaste kiss on your lips on his way out, which makes you feel a little fuzzy.

The evening gave way to the night sky, and you found yourself lying on the bed, replaying the video captured on your camera. The footage was far from perfect, shaky and lacking in clarity, but it still managed to capture fragments of the intense confrontation between the hero and the villain. You couldn't help but feel a sense of excitement as you watched the brief glimpses of the clash that had taken place earlier.

How the villian managed to blow a punch on the hero’s shoulder, sending him way back. Must've hurted.

It's almost like the same spot Wriothesley got his bruise on.

…

Wait, the same spot?  You sit up on the mattress, replaying the video on repeat of their fight.

The hero was about the same height as him, the same physique, same cake—

You shake your head, focus. Wriothesley can't be the hero, no that's impossible. He was a busy man, doing… side jobs and whatnot.

Sure he was kind, always helping everyone, even walking the neighbors dog because they got sick one day.

But then again… you never saw Wriothesley and the hero at the same time,

Or was it merely a coincidence, a random alignment of physical features?

“Sunshine?” You gasp when you snap your head up to find Wriothesley leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed.

“y-yes?” You set the camera aside on top of the drawer. He moves closer, seating himself on the edge of the bed, his eyes fixated on you then glancing at he camera.

“dinner's ready.”

You nod, silence fills the room after. You know he's waiting for you tell him more, on why you were so shocked.

“was looking at the hero's pictures.”

“not mine? I'm wounded.”

You roll your eyes, a slow smile creeping up your face, and he loves it. He takes it as an invitation to lean closer, suddenly pinning you down on the bed to capture your lips with his.

It's slow, and gentle. It makes you hum softly, taking his face in your hands to kiss him back, moving your lips together until you were gasping for air.

You forget you were even suspicious of him a second ago.

Your fingers lightly trace his jawline and you feel the pricks of his growing facial hair. A small smile plays on your lips as you inform him in a soft tone, "You need to shave." Wriothesley chuckles softly, the sound warm and low. He reaches up to your hand, gently taking hold of it and bringing it to his lips, pressing a kiss on your palm. "Is that why you stopped kissing me?" He says, the corners of his eyes crinkling. "No! I find you more.. attractive. Plus it.. yeah, it feels like little needles on my face.” you admit quietly.

Wriothesley presses his face into your neck, his lips tracing soft kisses along your skin. His hands begin roving your body, each touch sending a gentle shiver across your flesh. He whispers quietly next to your ear, his voice low and smooth as he responds, "I'll shave after dinner." The sensations of his lips against your neck and his hands exploring your body mix together, creating a heady combination that heightens your senses and ignites a slow fire within you.

“I'll.. help.” You whisper, bringing both of your arms to wrap them around his back. “What a sweetheart.” he uttered out, voice muffled from trying to mold into your skin.

Your mind stops working for a second when he presses his knee gently between your legs to pull them apart, “Wriothesley, what about dinner?” You frantically ask him, tugging his hair up so both of your gazes could meet. And the almost drunken expression he has on makes you let out a shaky breath.

“later,” he drawls, his fingers tracing lazily along your sides.

Hero? Pftt, what hero? This is just your wriothesley, it's quite impossible for him to be the hero.

You snap out of your daydream when your colleague hands you a cup of coffee, he raises an eyebrow at you and you smile back awkwardly.

A sip of the coffee to get a bit of energy, but only just a bit, since too much caffeine makes you nervous.

“You filmed the crazy battle yesterday?” Your colleague sneaks from behind you, watching the video replay again on your camera.

“they do movies about them now, insane huh?”

“well atleast the hero knows he's popular.” You reply bluntly, taking anothsr sip from your hot beverage.

“flash news, someone heard that his name starts with the letter ‘W’ or som—”

You spit out your coffee all over your white attire. You both exchange surprised looks, but you quickly wipe your mouth using the back of your hand.

“where exactly did you hear that?” You get straight to the point, gesturing them to sit next to you.

“from my father's friend’s cousin sister.”

His reply makes your eyes twitch, from who and who?

“Okay…” you whisper, turning around and thinking of the utter nonsense they spouted.

“you don't believe me.” he sighed, “I've been telling this to everyone in the building but no one is believing me! Just tryna’ do my job here.”

Let's say maybe you believe him. But the dots are connecting too fast that you want to refuse from believing it.

Was your target closer to you than you had expected?

“I'm clocking out, can you cover for me today?” You inform your colleague, and he crosses his arms while eyeing you up and down.

Your roll your eyes, “I'll be the cameraman for next week. So you could get three days off.” You force a smile and they smile back enthusiastically.

Wriothesley is definitely home. Earlier than the usual time he'd be back.

Oh, he's asleep on the couch. Leaning back tiredly with an almost stern expression on, but his body seems relaxed.

Now is the time to do anything. Investigate? Go through his things without his permission? That sounded all awful… surely he's not hiding any—

“go search his things.” You furrow your eyebrows when the devil on your left shoulder speaks, it makes you rub your face in annoyance.

Then a sudden white little angel poofs on your right shoulder with a disappointed face, “no, don't do it. He's a little scary when he gets mad. But he'd never betray you!” you feel reassured at it's words and you nod in agreement.

“don't listen to it. He could hurt you if you keep it a secret.” The red devil whispers again and it makes you shiver a bit.

“he would never hurt you.” The angel frowns.

“yes he would, he's a man.”

“a good man.”

“yeah? You're no better than me, you just want that—”

“okay shut up both of you. Shoo.” You brush both of your shoulders off before taking a deep breath to brace yourself.

You'll just search his.. clothes.

You feel guilty once you pocket his jackets and pants in his side of the wardrobe, checking every hidden pocket thoroughly while glancing at the door once in a while to make sure he doesn't wake up.

As your fingers brush against his jacket, you notice an unusual sensation – a cool, metal feeling hidden underneath the fabric. Your eyes widen in surprise as you recognize it to be the form of a gun's handle. A mixture of curiosity and concern floods through you, freezing you in place.

It really is a gun. You study it carefully, turning it around and feeling it's heaviness in your palm.

But you feel your heart run out of your ribcage when two pairs of arms wrap tightly around you, his chin resting on your shoulder.

Shit.

“hi,” he whispers next to your ear, but you're too nervous to even look back at him.

“nice thing you got there.” He muses, and you feel like you're losing oxygen once he tightens his grip around you even more.

“… i just found it.” You mutter, mostly to yourself. Your head hanging too low to avoid his eyes.

“Could've just asked me, no?” He clicks his tongue, almost in disappointment.

“i have it on me because—”

“because you use it for the good, right? Because you're the hero?” Your voice is shaky when you ask, the gun in your hand shaking with you, and you're afraid to drop it.

“hero?” Wriothesley repeats, shaking you gently awake and you gasp harshly, taking in big breaths, your boyfriend immediately trying to soothe you.

it was a dream.

“you were mumbling something about a hero in your sleep. Are you okay?” He asks in concern, brushing a strand off your face. You were sweating too much for your liking.

“when did i get here?” You look around, taking your palms to rub the sleepiness off. “Right when you got off work. You slept on the bed without changing your clothes.”

Oh… so you never checked his clothes. Deciding to just sleep instead.

Your head turns back to the wardrobe, staring at it intently. Could the jacket be in the same arrangement as you found it in your dream? Or will the gun also be there?

“you're going to poke a hole through it if you keep staring.” He stifles a laugh, and you couldn't help but try to smile as well. “Drink up. Slow sips.” He offers you a glass of water, and you hold the glass firmly in your hand.

“so… what was your dream about? Even this hero appears in your dreams? Can't say I'm not jealous.”

“You'll have grey hairs too early from overthinking.” You tease, sitting upright in bed, “oh no, you already do, old man.” you frown, tracing the grey strands along with his black hair. He watches in amusement.

Wriothesley lets out a deep sigh, “give your old man a break. They're a badge of wisdom and experience,” he rests his head on your lap, nuzzling close as you massage his scalp.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

“Breaking news: the ‘’lola” flower shop sets on fire just three hours ago. Our dear hero saves the day yet again, protecting the old lady just in time before her shop explodes. The cause of the fire is still unknown…”

Destruction out of nowhere again. Accidents out of nowhere again.

The voice of the newscaster on the television fades away in this little diner you're in. You drive your attention away from it, instead focusing now on the Polaroid pictures laid out infront of you.

The hero always wore a mask to cover his identity, obviously. But even after watching the countless of interviews he had, the deep tone slightly matches Wriothesley’s voice, or maybe he's changing his tone on purpose. You can see it by zooming in on the video, how he's catching his breath everytime he speaks when he's just sitting down.

Asthma? Nah.

You tap your fingers impatiently on the table, this is not helping at all, and the slightest itch in your brain worsens as the time goes by.

You think about giving up on this, but the possibility of finding the answer on how or why did all of this happen is probably closer to you than you think.

“Bad guys never end with their schemes. Bunch of attention seekers.” The hero speaks on the television, and you hum curiously as the hero salutes the camera playfully before disappearing from the crowd.

Is it possible that there are multiple heros? Working all together in some basement and taking turns to go out and do a better job than the police?

Possibly, and you write down your new theories down on your little notepad.

You check your phone next, Wriothesley still hasn't answered you back from your most recent text to him.

It's nothing to worry about, but the thought that he's busy saving the city is gnawing at you.

Batman?

You shake your head again, gathering your things to stand up from your seat. You should be blunt asking him about it tonight.

It's cold. Colder than usual. Was the air conditioning on? No. But the windows are sure wide open. You look around the living room before closing the windows and curtains from the outside world, as you draw the curtains, the outside world becomes obscured, leaving the room in a soft semi-darkness.

“Wriothesley, honey?” You call out softly, peeking through the bathroom, not there. The bedroom? Nope.

That leaves the kitchen, you slowly peek your head in he kitchen, and sure enough, he was there.

Wriothesley was rubbing his face in exhaustion while mumbling words under his breath that you can't quite hear. Having one singular glass of some drink in his hand.

“hero this.. hero that..” you finally listen to his mumbles, which makes you furrow your eyebrows together.

"Wrio...?" You call out softly, flipping the switch to turn on the light. His sharp eyes immediately dart up to look at you, and you can't help but shiver under his intense stare. You let out a small gasp of surprise as he suddenly stands up, the glass in his hand slipping from his grip and shattering on the ground along with its contents.

Taken aback by his sudden movement, you instinctively take a step back as he approaches you. But before you can even register what's happening, he crashes his lips against yours in a hasty, rushed kiss. Caught off guard, you cling tightly to him, desperately seeking support to prevent yourself from toppling over.

“You love me,” Wriothesley's voice breaks through the heated kiss, his words coming out in a low, guttural groan. He grips the back of your thighs, hoisting you up against the wall and wrapping your legs around his waist. “right?” His voice holds a hint of vulnerability and desperation, as if seeking reassurance and affirmation of your feelings for him.

And when you don't answer him right away, he takes your lower lip between his teeth, nipping at it gently, “answer me.” He almost growls.

“love, what are you taking about? Are you drunk?” You ask breathlessly in concern, your lips feeling swollen.

His jaw clenches, “Why can't you say it?” he inhales your perfume, your scent filling him that it makes him groan, his mouth lavishing your neck and collarbone, leaving kisses and littering marks then soothing the area with his tongue that it makes your pant softly, pressing your face into his hair while your fingers weaving through his black-greyish strands.

“i love you,” you utter quietly, and it suddenly makes him start grinding his hardened length against you. “I'm sorry in advance, sweetheart.”

One minute you're confused about his words, and then the next he's pounding so hard into you like there was no tomorrow.

Strings of “don't leave me,” and “i love you’s,” are echoed in the air. Wriothesley's mouth moves against yours with a sense of urgency and haste, his tongue gliding and tangling with yours in a fervent dance. The bed creaks so loud underneath you that you think it might break anytime, the embarrassment of the headboard banging against the wall immediately gone once he hits your sweet spot rapidly.

Poor neighbors

"Wrio... Wriothesley?” you slowly flutter your eyes open, still in the hazy realm between sleep and wakefulness. The sunlight streams through the curtains, casting a soft glow across the room, and you blink a few times as you take in your surroundings. A quiet sense of contentment washes over you as you remember the events of the night before, the memories of Wriothesley's body against yours and his lips on yours still fresh in your mind.

You prop yourself up using your elbows, only to look down at the sight of your sleeping lover with his head pressed up on your chest. You collapse back on the bed with a tired sigh.

You still couldn't understand the reasoning behind his.. desperate actions last night. He seemed so pent up and stressed, you'll forgive him this time.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• It's the day where you're covering for your colleague, being the cameraman for tonight's news. Yes, tonight.

Wriothesley would kill you if he knew you were working so late at night, but only because he cares about your safety. Good thing he's out of the city for a day.

Or he claims to be out of the city for some important work.

You press the button on your video camera, adjusting the lens to focus on the newscaster standing in front of the camera, holding the microphone with a serious expression. The news van is parked in front of a desolate, run-down neighborhood known for its high crime rate and dangerous reputation. The newscaster speaks into the camera, her eyes boring into the lens as she reports on the neighborhood.

“We are now standing in the heart of one of the most dangerous areas in the city. This neighborhood is notorious for its high crime rate and volatile atmosphere.”

Your senses are heightened at this rate and you really try to focus but the moment you hear the faint crunch of leaves, you lose composure just a bit.

Okay you're a bit scared, but as long as your workmates are he—

a group of armed gang members suddenly appear from the alleyways between the buildings, surrounding the news van and the camera crew. The newscaster, taken off guard, gasps and steps back.

The gang members brandish their weapons, circling the news crew menacingly. One of them shouts at the newscaster, waving his gun in the air. “Hold it right there, pretty lady. This is our turf! You ain’t gonna be broadcasting nothing about us!”

You're about to shit your pants for real this time.

“Drop your cameras and get outta here, or things are gonna get real ugly real fast,” he growls, and one of them points the gun right on your camera.

“I'm talkin’ to you too.”

Yeah, you're not going to fight anyone and act all big. You simply drop the camera on the ground to raise your hands in the air.

As the gang members close in on the news crew, the atmosphere is suddenly shattered by the sound of footsteps pounding against the pavement. Everyone turns to see a tall, muscular figure approaching from the distance.

It's the hero.

You watch in awe as the hero strides towards the group of armed gang members, his movements fluid and precise. With a swift swing of his fist, he lands a powerful punch on the leader's face, sending him stumbling backwards. The other gang members are taken aback by his sudden appearance and the display of force, their eyes widening in surprise and fear. They exchange nervous looks, realizing they're facing a much stronger opponent than they anticipated.

“Hey, let's go!” Your workmate calls for your name. Her hand waving at you so you could all retreat back to the van.

And before you could follow, the van explodes.

The sudden explosion catches you off guard, jolting you out of your stupor. Shouting in surprise, you recoil from the loud blast, ducking instinctively as debris and fragments fly through the air. Your colleague, sitting next to you in the van, lets out a terrified yell as the force of the explosion propels the driver backward. The van shudders and lurches from the impact, the windows shattering and various objects sent flying.

“in the building! Let's go!” All three of you dash to protect yourselves inside this tall company building.

“I will call the police,”

“but the hero is here!” the driver of the van speaks, almost yelling in frustration.

“the hero is also a human. Just a strong one. We can't rely on him—” but before you could continue, you all cover your ears once you hear gunshots come from outside.

Ohmygosh. It’s—it could possibly be Wriothesley who's getting hurt right now. What are even the chances?!

“Fine! Just call the fucking police!” The driver gives up, leaning back against the wall while breathing heavily.

You want to go out there. You want to see. It's your chance to see who the hero is if he got hurt. Just to get the crumbs of news in exchange for your life apparently.

When it grows quiet, you peek outside, “it's clear, I'll take a look—”

“No, you're not.” her hand is firm as she grips your wrist, “just let them go.” He, on the other hand, scowls.

“Be safe!” She shouts at you as you make a run for it, running down the alleyway while looking left and right.

Someone's in the area.

You dart behind the nearby dumpster, heart pounding in your chest as adrenaline courses through your veins. Hiding as best you can, you press yourself against the rough metal, trying to keep your breathing steady and quiet. Peeking out from behind the dumpster, you cautiously scan the surroundings, trying to catch a glimpse of someone nearby. For now, the area seems to be clear, but you can't shake the feeling that someone is in the vicinity, lurking in the shadows.

“Where ya at, lil’ birdie?” You cover your mouth when you hear someone speak, it sends a chill down your spine and you can feel your heart drumming in your ears.

Your sharp eyes turn to your side to find a metal rod, you don't hesitate to grab it before smacking the shit out of the guy.

No that did not happen, but you wish it did.

Instead, the minute you see his feet pass the dumpster, with a swift movement, you grab hold of both of his ankles, using your weight and leverage to pull them out from under him. He lets out a pained shriek as he suddenly loses his balance and topples to the ground, his body hitting the pavement with a thud.

Alright, you can be cool sometimes.

Stepping at his hands to hear him cry again, you run put of the place, making turns and finally spotting the hero sitting down against the building wall while panting, seemingly exhausted.

“…” you take slow steps once you approach him, looking down at him with your eyes already glistening.

This is it, you just have to confirm it.

Your hand pulls at his mask, “Wrio—”

Huh?

This…

Is not

Wriothesley.

“Ah, what the fuck?” He grunts, the blonde grabbing the mask from your hands and you take a step back.

“Elias?!” You yell out in confusion, it's your colleague that you're covering for supposedly today's shoot.

“You're the hero??”

“not a word. Scram, you freak.” he mutters, eyes diverting away from you and staring up at the roof. “The roof,” he whispers to himself, making the effort to stand back at his knees.

Is this bitch serious? He's the last person you expected to be the hero. With his stupidly arrogant and lax attitude.

You give him an almost death stare, studying his features again before making your way out.

You need to check the other people that were with you.

But when you arrive back at the building, they were gone.

Did the police arrive? You don't hear any sirens. Could they have possibly went up on one of the floors to hide?

You find yourself in the elevator next, watching as the doors close with your hands clasped infront of you nervously.

You take deep breaths, trying to calm your racing heart and steady your nerves. Hey, at least there's nice elevator music.

As the elevator comes to a halt, the doors slide open with a soft ding, revealing the rooftop and the figure standing in the open space.

There's a figure standing at the edge of the building, you can see the person's silhouette clearly now, but you can't make out their features just yet.

Your steps are hesitant as you slowly approach the figure, the wind gently billowing around you. The city lights twinkle below, but your attention is entirely focused on the person standing at the edge of the roof. You take a deep breath, steeling yourself for whatever may come, and call out tentatively, "Hello?”

Your voice rings in the air, that the person's shoulders tense.

When they look around, you're met by the same blue eyes you've known for three years now.

“Wriothesley.” You whisper, in shock, breathlessly under your breath.

He's holding.. a gun? The same gun you remember seeing in your dream.

Something in his mind snaps when you turn around, in fear. Like it was a mistake to ever see him in the first place.

Wriothesley doesn’t even give himself time to think before his body suddenly reacts, suddenly reaching out and circling his hand around your wrist to forcibly tug you back.

He yanks hard enough that you lose your balance and fall against him, his other arm coming up to wrap around your shoulders, preventing you from going anywhere.

“W-wrio—”

“think it's time we talk, sunshine.” He speak into your ear.

When you try to move the slightest from his hold, he grips you around him tighter. You figure it's best to stay still for now.

“what? Are you going to kidnap me now?” You manage to chuckle out, nervously though, your voice coming out more shaky than you intended to.

“Is that going to satisfy your little fantasy? What, I should play into it and shove you into a corner, keep you under my thumb until you’re begging me to set you free? Or no… you want to be saved by the hero.”

"You know you're not helping with your case, right? You really sound like the bad guy now.”

You’ve definitely found his breaking point because that comment makes him snap.

Wriothesley suddenly whirls you around so you’re facing him before he’s pinning you against the nearest wall, his body practically covering your own.

“Well…” He whisper, raising an eyebrow calmly in the way you look being at his mercy. “Aren’t I?”

Your jaw practically hangs at his words. Is he... Playing the bad guy now?

Or was he really… not the opposite of the hero?

He sees the shiver you try so hard to suppress and smirks at that, clearly satisfied with your reaction, “What’s wrong, sunshine? Finally realize that the man you’ve been dating isn’t the hero you've obsessing over?” He chuckles.

“i… i knew it—”

“You didn’t,” he says, his tone suddenly becoming cool and firm.

Wriothesley leans forward, pressing into you so that you’re smashed between him and the wall. His hand suddenly comes up, cupping your jaw so that he tilts your chin up to look directly into his eyes.

“If you’d known, you’d never have come within twenty feet of me. You’d never have been alone with me or spent a single night in our bed.”

He's right. And you hate it. You feel betrayed, lied to, even.

It makes you rethink your life choices.

You've gotten too comfortable with him that you didn't even think about him being the villian. You've gotten too close while you were being a complete idiot.

“you hid it.”

Wriothesley laughs, the sound almost sounding cold, “of course I hid it, sunshine. I wasn’t going to just come strutting in wearing a big, red sign saying ‘look at me, I’m a bad guy!’ was I?”

You clench your fists together, “you tricked me.”

“Tricked? No.” He shakes his head slightly. “I simply… left out key details.”

“Why?”

“ah, there it is.” He steps back, giving you space to breath, to recollect your thoughts.

“why? Because the hero isn't a hero. He started all of this destruction. Why? To get fame, recognition, power, and to be seen, to look like he's doing something when he's not.” He lets out all in one breath, and you lips part again.

“four years ago when the building almost fell on you? He did that, on purpose. then saved you to make it look like he's the one that everyone needs.”

What the hell?

“Wriothesley, we were strangers to each other four years ago. How did you know?” You don't hesitate to step closer to get more answers out of him, but he only stares at you.

You swallow thickly when he draws infront of you once again, “i did this all for you, love. I-i will do everything in my power to stop him, i will kill him so you wouldn't get hurt—”

“Okay, fucker. Out of my way,” Elias, the ’hero’, suddenly barks, and without warning, a gunshot rings out. The bullet pierces through Wriothesley's shoulder, causing him to flinch and stagger backwards.

Your eyes widen in horror as you watch the scene unfold. "Wriothesley!" you cry out, watching as he turns around despite the injury and charges towards Elias.

Despite the pain he must be in, Wriothesley doesn't relent. Ignoring the gunshot wound, he barrels towards Elias with unmatched determination, closing the distance between them.

"Bastard," Wriothesley manages to grit out as he collides with Elias, knocking him off his feet and sending them both crashing to the ground.

You don't hesitate to rush forward, with adrenaline fueling your actions, you move quickly towards them as they roll dangerously close to the edge of the roof.

"Stop!" you shout, your voice filled with desperation. "You'll fall!”

And surely enough, Your two hand clamps down on Wriothesley's, desperately grasping onto anything you can to prevent him from plunging off the edge.

Meanwhile, Elias grips Wriothesley's leg, using his strength to anchor him in place. The three of you hang there, suspended over the city, Wriothesley's body along with Elias’s dangling in the air.

“Sweetheart—”

“shut the fuck up I'm not letting go.” They're both too heavy, the feel of his fingers slipping away from yours increases everytime you try to pull them up.

Elias is purposely pulling Wriothesley's leg down to drop them both, your lips quiver, crying when two of his fingers slip now.

“hey,” his voice is soothing when he calls for you.

“at least… i protected you till the very end, right?” He tries smiling but it only makes the lump in your throat grow.

“i love you.”

“Wriothesley!”

…

“Wriothesley—!” You gasp harshly when you open your eyes so wide, finding that your hand was already reaching out for nothing.

You rest your hand on your chest before leaning back on your seat.

“are you okay?” The newscaster, the friend you made, offers you her handkerchief so you could swipe the sweat off your face.

“i think… continuesly searching about this, is making you stressed.” She points out, looking at the papers and drawings splayed out on your desk.

More theories of the disappearances of the hero and villian. Not their death. Their bodies were never found.

“it's been a year.”

The realization is like a punch to the gut as you bring a sweaty palm to rub at your temples.

“This is not over.” You whisper, more to yourself than to her. “We got no more trouble. No more heroic or bad guy news. The world is back to normal, almost like they never existed huh?”

Never existed.

She then suddenly gasps, which catches you off gaurd, “are engaged??” She eyes at the gem resting on your left ring finger.

The ring you found in one of his jacket pockets when you sorted his things out.

“yeah…” you decide to drawl out before sitting upright on your seat.

“now, if you'll excuse me, i got work to do.”

You're never going to stop searching, to find another answer of the question; 'why?'

Even if it will mean risking your life this time.

[amimuu]

“Had I found you sooner—“

Dtiys submission…from June—oops

BLEHH GOAT ART BE UPON YE!!!

More doodles under the cut

Boy oh boy! Proceeds to sweat nervously

Imagine forgetting to post some art for months. Haha. Couldn’t be me. Nope. Not at all. Sweats even more

Sooo this is actually my participation for when Mikey held a dtiys back in June and I participated (told em I’d find a way to make it angsty. Did I succeed?). Was originally planning to post it after results were in but uhm. I. Forgot. But since I’m currently in the middle of an ✨artblock✨ you get it now. Yippee!

There’s also some more recent doodles sneaked in here for the sillies including this one

Aka, how Chime and Callum’s (The Lamb and the Goat) “first” meeting went like. Technically, it’s the first time they’ve seen each other. Technically. Let’s not forget these guys are from different dimensions. And like isn’t that Callum guy dead or something?

Cuz if you were to ask them, they’d tell you they go a looooong way back. Perhaps too long.

Welp. Anyway, that’s all from me today. As always inbox is open for anyone to come by and say hi, I always love a nice chit-chat. Until next time!

Extra: non-colored ver + sketch

[downmainstreet]

fly me to the moon ⋆ k. leehan. part i.

⤷ film major!leehan x gn!reader. college au, sort of one-sided academic rivals to lovers, non!idol bnd. possible warnings. cussing, use of leehan’s government name for fic purposes, oops. lowercase intended. there’ll probably be another part to this, since it got to be longer than i expected it to! wc. 1.6k words.

synopsis ⋆ kim donghyun, or leehan to his friends, was hybe u’s golden boy. honors student, dashing smile, charming personality. it drove people mad, but specially you, moon y/n, and definitely not for the same reason. ever since you could remember, leehan had been better. more popular, more memorable, more knowledgeable. it made you sick. so, what happens when you get assigned to a project together and there’s no way out?

⤷ author's note ✩ hello! very excited for this little au. there'll definitely be another part to this because i love a cliffhanger. also, a quick thank u to moni @gluion for beta-reading this for me! the story is even better thanks to their suggestions. i hope you all enjoy reading it as much as i did writing it. do leave your feedback in comments or asks if you can, they're very much appreciated!

if anybody were to ask you how you were doing today, you’d say you were fantastic. you’d woken up earlier than usual, worked out, and even had time to get a lavender latte from that new café close to campus. one would say you were almost skipping giddily into class—which sungho, your best friend, didn’t fail to point out—because of your good mood.

“can’t one be happy without a reason?” you throw the question at your best friend in a teasing manner, the corners of your lips rising ever so slightly as you take your seat inside the auditorium.

according to ms. kim, today’s supposed to be a big day for hybe u. the joint project between the arts and humanities department is around the corner. with the assignments counting as extra credit for english majors, you weren’t taking any chances. 

once you sat down, your best friend playfully rolling his eyes at you, your mood turned sour completely—not from the sight but from the familiar sound of his voice.

the leehan effect—some freshman went as far as calling it—but he couldn’t move you to the slightest bit.

you never quite understood his appeal. people went on and on about how his hair flowed whenever his fingers ran through it, how he walked with grace and confidence no matter where he went, or the gentle smile that he’d sport. 

you scoff as you take your laptop out of your bag. so much for a good mood, you thought.

sungho looks at you with a smirk, fully expecting your reaction, before nudging your shoulder slightly, “now, yn, be nice.” 

sungho had been friends with leehan for a while now. you couldn’t say you loved it, but at least he knew not to mention the boy’s name around you. (though at the start of their friendship, you told sungho to call him voldemort, to which he replied, “that defeats the whole purpose of the no-name-saying agenda.”) 

when sungho told you to be nice to his friend, you didn’t think it was literal, but you should’ve known better than to take your best friend’s words with a grain of salt. because there he was, leehan in the flesh, walking up to the seat beside you. there were dozens of empty seats in the auditorium, but of course leehan, the leehan, chose to sit beside you. what a ride.

the first thing you notice as he sits down is the smell of citrus that lingers around him. it’s weird. you never pay attention to these types of things, especially not about leehan. 

you see, leehan is a double major student—theatre and film, to be precise. you’d been classmates since freshman year of high school, and somehow he was always… better. it didn’t matter if you got an A on an exam, because surely leehan got an A+. you had a perfect score? he went over the maximum score with some extra credit he did. it was as if the universe was keen on making you his runner up, but your pride never really allowed it.

the worst part? this competition of yours isn’t even a competition. a competition needs two or more people to function. this thing between the two of you was only something you knew about; he didn’t even bother. you had come to the conclusion that you weren’t good enough to even be in his radar. 

you swore that would change during college, but it was no different. when you found out leehan was also going to hybe u, you were somehow ecstatic. now, you could show people who the best was. but leehan gained his reputation in the new landscape with a rather high score, starting with beating you in the entrance exams. since then, you haven’t really built your momentum back. at all.

your self-wallowing moment ends quick enough when a significantly familiar voice whispers next to you, “is it okay with you if i sit here?”

with furrowed eyebrows, you lock eyes with him only to be greeted with that annoying trademark smile of his.  you aren’t sure why he’s whispering until you notice that the auditorium had gone quiet as ms. kim and mr. hyun go through some papers by the podium. you shift uncomfortably in your seat. leehan had never spoken to you—at least not directly—but you had spoken to him back in senior year only once. you’re sure he probably doesn’t even remember. 

all you do is nod, not wanting to interact too much. plus, the professors were starting to speak, and you didn’t want to miss a word. 

“good morning to you all. this with me is mr. hyun, who will be helping me make the assignment announcement! as you all know, this year there’ll be a joint assignment between majors. each of you will be divided in pairs based on your majors to compete in this year’s hybe u artistique festival.”

“following up with what ms. kim said, you will have this entire term to make the exhibition of your choice. whether it is a film, a short story, an art gallery with pieces of your own making. the top three winners will be shown at the festival.”

“we have just posted your partners in your hybe u student pages. make sure to find them before you leave the auditorium!”

you’re quick to open up the website as you anticipate your partner.  you really hope it’s someone on film. you’d been polishing your script-writing skills and hoped to put them to good use. excitement bubbles up inside you as you press open.

yet, the name on the screen has your smile faltering. 

pair #12 — film and theatre major kim donghyun & english major moon yn. 

your breath hitches in your throat. as you meet his gaze once more, there’s a lingering smirk on his features as he says, “hello, partner.” 

you were fucked, weren’t you?

⋆

today’s the first day you and leehan agreed to work together on the project. you told yourself you would enjoy this, that not even voldemort could ruin it for you. (sungho couldn’t help but laugh at your words.) 

you both texted each other the day before to arrange where you’d meet, deciding on the campus’ park. it isn’t too crowded at this time of the day, thank god. as you two had morning classes, you agreed to meet after 5pm. you got there before him, though, so you found a nice place to sit in. 

it feels like being in another world, this whole working with leehan thing, but you are willing to compromise. it’s a huge opportunity. plus, you heard leehan is one of the best filmmakers in his year. you don’t doubt it but you still have your thoughts about working with him. although, sungho said something that made lots of sense earlier in class that day.

“just give yourself the chance to get to know him, yn. you never know, he could surprise you,” he said while you sighed for the nth time that day, sulking and whining on and on about your unlucky streak. 

and so that’s what you decided to do—get to know him from scratch, even though it felt extremely disloyal to the freshman year of high school yn who vowed to be better than kim donghyun by any means possible. it’s for the extra credit, you told that version of yourself. a compromise. nothing more.

“hey,” leehan interrupts your train of thought, seemingly materializing out of thin air. he looks different today. his long hair is pulled back into a man-bun and he’s wearing a checkered flannel. he always looks put together, and today was no exception, but he looked relaxed. comfortable. it made something inside you churn. in a bad way, though, right?

you nod as a way to greet him as he sat down beside you. 

“sorry, i’m late. today’s been a bit crazy,” he apologizes, almost to himself. it’s unlike him. everything about him right now is not the leehan you know—the bags under his eyes are a little too prominent and his hair is a bit too disheveled. you thought you’d enjoy seeing him like this, all weak. but all it does is make your chest ache, for some reason you weren’t ready to even fathom yet. 

“you okay?” you ask rather awkwardly, deciding that would be the adequate thing to say. and it seemed it was, because he looks at you, really looks at you, and smiles. you swear you saw his eyes sparkle for a moment. you almost laugh but you hold back. you weren’t going to give into the leehan effect. you weren’t.

and yet... 

“didn’t know you cared,” he glances at you with curiosity as a ghost of a smile still wanders on his lips. he relaxes into his seat, a soft sigh leaving him. “but yes, i am okay, yn.”

your name on his lips made time stop for you. he never said it before. (and if he did, you would have remembered, surely.)

you pursed your lips as best as you could to hide the fluttering feelings that were invading you in the moment and scoffed. “i don’t care, just being polite.” leehan raises an eyebrow at your reaction, expectant. “but i’m glad you’re okay.” 

“mh, that’s more like you.” you can hear the smile on him now, it drives you mad.

“excuse me?”

“well, you’ve never really liked me, have you, yn?” you’d think he’d look sad over this, but that stupid smile of his is still plastered on his lips as he looks at you, his arm resting on the back of the bench.

and, well, it was very easy to tell you weren’t fucked.

you were extremely, irrevocably fucked.

@onedoornet ➳ all credits go to ©downmainstreet on tumblr, 2024.

[strxbrymochi]

i know im quite late but this has been stuck in my head and i need to get it out so here are my 12am impulse thoughts,,,

how i imagine nct dream would be on valentine's day;

note: this is just the vibes i get from seeing them and 100% based on my delusional imagination

mark;

i am extra delulu for this man rn its so bad

i feel like he would be such a wholesome valentine date

straight up imagined some sort of serenading going on bc hello guitar skills?? and his voice??

i'd imagine he'd gift you some sort of designer thing (just cause i think he's the type to spoil u for special occasions bc ur his girl yk screams)

i think good food = good talks = just enjoying each other's company; type of guy i genuinely feel like you can have hour hour hours long convos and not get bored

lots of laughs bc hearing his laugh >>>

feel more home date vibes where you take out your fave foods and just jam out love songs in pjs but i can also see late night walks or going to some lowkey resto so yalls dont get spotted

renjun;

this guy is for real a deep down romantic aint no way with that face and attitude have you seen how he speaks to some of the dreamies??

defs would serenade u if u ask him to (imagine him shy at first but giving it his all aww)

hands down will gift u something he custom made i do not doubt this given he made custom hoodies for the rest of dream but yours defo will be extra special and made with care <3

can imagine some sort of art date or a quiet night for the two of yalls, him spoiling u a bit cause valentines is extra reason to do so

honestly if i was on a date w him i'd just stare at him ... oops

i think u guys should do the "draw each other" trend as a gift and ur drawing of him looks horrendous (bc u are not as gifted in the arts-- if you are good for u) while his of you looks majestic but he keeps it anyways bc u made it (hearing his beautiful laugh makes it worth ut too anyways)

jeno;

ok look i think jeno's v acts of service-y

wouldn't question if he attempts to cook for you or do things for you a lot more often on valentines to show his love for u (wake up to meals and a clean house yessir-- only for today tho GAHAHAHAHA)

another one i think would spoil you with designer stuff and just imagine the little cute smile on his face when he watched you open the gifts cause he's out here looking at u w pure genuine love (must be nice)

my man's a gamer would probs challenge u to a game or two before heading out

ice cream !!!!!! i have seen 2 vlogs w him looking for and eating ice cream i think you guys will defs have an ice cream taster or smtg (he's so me!!)

idk bro i love jeno any boyfriend fantasy i have in my dreams is played out by him. TT

haechan;

nah yea atp they'd all spoil you (pls dream is full of loving green forest men)

i can imagine deep talks about your future together like wouldnt be surprised if mans doesnt just propose to you alr thats how much he loves you

clingy clingy boy and he is not afraid to show you and let you know how much he loves u !

would hands down take you to the BEST restos and yalls would have insanely good food

can see some karaoke or bowling or idk just an activity yalls can do together before going home for a quiet night of the talks and just enjoying each other's presence

where do i find one genuine question

jaemin;

royalty treatment all the way

breakfast in bed: check with four course meal, flowers: check, gifts: check, chore-free house: check say less

i feel like jaemin is a very big words of affirmation guy so he will not stop complimenting you or saying he loves you

takes a lot of pictures of you too

yk also i think he'd actually send his mom flowers for valentine's day too

staring at you for hours with that stupid cute grin of his, eyes full of adoration

would have all your wants and preferences memorised hes so attentive you actually dont need to worry or do anything all day (just appreciate it bc u deserve him and his love!!!)

chenle;

(there were like no chenle gifs wtf)

PRESIDENT ZHONG CHENLE!!!!! money moves fr name what u want and u got it, spoiled level 1000 on valentine's day

if he could go around freely i think he's the type to take you to fancy ass restaurants like those rich hotel ones (but like if not that's ok he'll spoil you through other means)

he's a menace sometimes i think he'd joke around and try to get on your nerves a bit for fun like imagine him rocking up and being like what day is it today? oh it's valentine's? what's that idk what that is. was i meant to do smtg for u? (him and haechan fr would be the type to tease u so bad) all that just for laughs i can alr imagine the look on his face

as sweet as he is i think at one point he'd either make you do smtg so stupid w him or get a random ass matching present just for the lols (he rlly doesn't gaf he's so real and u love him for it)

jisung;

my sweet sweet child (we're like the same age)

i feel like he'd be so babie trying to prep everything and making sure everything is perfect for u awwwie

tries to act all tough and cool but melts on the inside, compliment him once he shows that smile of his and he's down forever

would be the type to get advice from his hyungs on what to do but be so shy when asked (sksks hes adorable pls)

i feel like he would make you a custom gift like something you can take w u always but also get u something expensive idk unless ur not into that stuff GAHAHA

IMAGINE he tries cooking for u but oblivious kiddo ended up burning it but its ok he tried, yalls got takeout instead

OK ALSO think him trying to teach u how to dance that'd be so cute or yalls can end it w a movie just in each other's presence and u fall asleep next to each other on the couch (BYE SO CUTE IM DED)

ok that's it im done i need to sleep good night (stay delulu besties <3)

[myfriendpokey]

tunnel notes

i wrote some extra little notes and thoughts for the bonus tunnels in anthology of the killer, and then removed them before release; i didn't like the prescriptive feeling of leaving that stuff in the "final package" as if it was something people should feel obligated to engage with. but as of today it's been 30 days since the loader came out, so i figured i'd dump some of them online, for the benefit of whoever is interested in these things.

History: HISTORY IS A NIGHTMARE FROM WHICH I AM TRYING TO AWAKE is one of many famous zingers given to Stephen in Ulysses and I’ve always wondered if it’s especially Irish as a sentiment, Ireland sort of feeling like the “Oops! All Peasants” edition of European history as a whole – same misery, exploitation and death minus the occasional episodes of feudal colour or triumphant empire-building that seem to make the past tolerable for other people, and give them their own sense of demarcated time. But then I’ve never been much good on Irish history, which has always just felt like an interminable, indistinguishable series of massacres and betrayals and missed shots. Was I not paying attention or was this how it was taught in school? Well, it would have fit the style at the time – I was born in 1989, smack at the start of the famous end of history era. The 90s in Ireland meant the peace process and infusion of American capital to our backwards shores, all the more reason to cosign the idea of an abrupt and permanent break with a history notably lacking in the non-depressing or picturesque. All our history textbooks seemed to trail off at the point we’d joined the EEA. And even as this new modernity just started seeming like the monstrous antiquity dressed up in different clothes – hooded prisoners transported to torture sites through Shannon airport, our patchy social infrastructure dismantled by burghers, ghost estates and half-completed monuments scattered around like the ruin theory of value with more leprechaun imagery – there was still a sense that any change was off the table. You didn’t want to drag us back into history, did you? History seemed to have “ended” in the same sense Freddy Krueger did – done away with in ways that none of the grown-ups ever wanted to talk about, and now officially a non-presence, even if all the kids in town were mysteriously disappearing.

--

Art: One reason I wanted to do an episodic series is just to see what would turn up, if any recurring interests would build despite a minimum of planning. One of the themes turned out to be, “art” – or specifically modernist art – and I am curious about why that would be. A recurring tendency in modernism was the idea that only by destroying the world as it currently existed could we clear space for anything better to emerge. Under the cobblestones, the beach! But this was always attended by a kind of fear: that clearing away the old structures would just allow something even worse to emerge, unmasked. Under the cobblestones, more corpses! And that the bleakest tendencies of the period would now run free without even the emptiest symbolic constraints to chafe against. Max Ernst’s painting of the fascist victory in Spain, of a huge, grinning oaf rampaging over the landscape like a kaiju while a miserable birdlike figure remains haplessly grafted to its leg – is titled both “The Angel Of Hearth And Home” and “The Triumph Of Surrealism”. As if to suggest that these are each the same thing, as though a cause of creative liberation worth devoting your life to and an empty cliché of domestic repression had so little light between them as to not even be worth the effort of distinguishing.

Part of the reason works like that make their way into the games in little ways is because I just like them, and go back to thinking about them. But the status of modernism in the 21st century is an odd one; the most tentative and inventive parts got dropped, while the brashest and stupidest aspects curdled into a kind of official state ideology – the idea of “creative destruction”, which just seems to mean a vague sense that it’s punk rock to create ridesharing apps. The monkey’s paw curled and the emptiest version of the modernist credo became something we all have to live with.. and yet I still can’t help but be moved by the source works and the goofy, ridiculous temerity of that wish to transfigure the world. sometimes it feels like only way to keep faith with those ideas is to travesty them, to try returning to them some of that sense of fear and doubt without which they just sound like so many web design agency manifestos. Kept alive in the breast of so many grimacing waxworks, underground.

Another reason to put this stuff in a horror game: to try getting at that feeling in a dream of looking in the eyes of people you know, people you love, and seeing nothing there anymore, seeing them look right past you. An earlier horror game idea I used to think about would have ended with the protagonist being dismembered and eaten by Gertrude Stein.

--

The moral: I’ve seen people express a sense, now, that merely working in the negative is not enough; to just outline what’s bad without also trying to give a vision of the good, some glimpsed utopia to shoot for. For the benefit of these people here is an epilogue. Imagine it’s the future and the long nightmare of prehistory is over; history proper unfolds as the full expression of human powers unhindered by material subjugation. Some students are given an assignment by a professor to investigate the meaning of a term that no longer exists, the meaning of horror. Well, the students do their best: they watch lots of old movies, put on rubber masks, comb through old fragments of the world that was. They’re enjoying themselves and that enjoyment warps the process, they keep drifting into pleasure, unsure what’s meant to be funny and what’s not. They get lost, get confused, lose the thread, famous faces appear under the wrong names, espousing things that are the opposite of whatever they believed. In the end they all have to admit defeat: they hand in their assignment with a note saying that in the new world, we can’t even imagine what horror may have been. The professor reads their findings, nods, and gives them all an F. No moral.

[image source: James Ensor, "The Intrigue"]

[hoe4sports]

Your love lifts me up like helium

Ruesha Littlejohn x reader

A/N: Just wanted to do a little something with this song. Listen to it if you’d like, it was the inspo for this piece of art.

Trigger warning: Depression like feelings, mentions of feeling like there is no hope. Mentions of ending life. Panic attacks. Fluff end.

“Help me out of this hell. Your love lifts me up like helium”

Two days prior to this moment, the Republic of Ireland had touched down in Australia. The squad had a week before the actual fifa program would start. It was great as it gave you time to explore Australia and it let you adapt to the warm climate. The practices had been going great, and you were trying to fit in as much touristy things as you possibly could. You wanted to make the most of this trip. Ruesha on the other hand, had seen Katie and Caitlin Foord walk out of Katie’s hotelroom together at 5 in the morning leaving the gorgeous blonde once again crushed to pieces. And how was you doing in this? Well, you and Ruesha were sharing a room. You weren’t getting much sleep, and for all the wrong reasons.

“Yeah, I wanted to play tough. Thought I could do all just on my own. But even Superwoman. Sometimes needed Superman's soul.”

You got woken up just after midnight by Ruesha’s crying. “It was 6 years of my life” Ruesha sulked as you tried to comfort her again. She was leaning against you while you were both camping out on her bed. “6 years I’ll never get back..” she kept going. “Nobody is ever gonna love me like her, I’m too old now” she said as she sniffed and wiped her nose on her sleeves. “Ruesh, you’ll find someone” you said as you yawned. “What if she also cheats? I’m pathetic. I’m never gonna be enough for a lifetime” she sulked as i wanted to rolled my eyes. “Okay, maybe little Rushie needs to go to sleep, yeh? Here, I’ll help you.” You mumbled as you forced her to lay down on the soft mattress. “Sometimes feelings get bigger at nighttime. That’s why you should be gettin’ some sleep” you said as a stroked her hair softly. You tried to stand up slowly as she closed her eyes and her muscles relaxed, only to make it to the end of your bed before she started sobbing again. She hadn’t slept alone for 6 years, and for the last week she had been sleeping next to you. “Okay, pretty girl, how about we sleep next to eachother?” you said as you scooted in and held her as her sobs quietly stopped. She was fast asleep, even snoring as you kissed the top of her head. “I’m gonna get you through this Rushie”

“I'm trying but I keep falling down. I cry out but nothing comes now”

The next nights were followed by the same crying, only it was escalating every night. Sobbing turned into crying turned into hysterically crying. The worst night was night 7, and the following day you were playing against Australia and Katie’s new girlfriend. Ruesha had skipped breakfast, lunch and dinner today, and you felt extra worried. Her normally bright eyes were tired and heavy. Her clothes fitting visibly looser now than just 7 days ago. “I’m never gonna be happy again” . That was the first sign of her nightly crying. “Nobody will ever love me again, I’m unloveable.” she continued. “I don’t have a house, a job or even a girlfriend anymore” you sighted as you could hear her starting to rumble. You cut her off. Ruesh, I think you need to see a psychologist.” Oops, that came out harder than what you wanted. She looked at me with fear in her eyes and she snapped immediately. “I don’t need no psychiatrist or whatever!”. She crossed her arms, and looked like you had just offered her drugs. “LEAVE ME ALONE!” She shouted as she threw a pillow at you. You couldn’t stand it anymore seeing as you were getting 3-4 hours sleep every night because of McBastard and her new toy. You turned your back towards Ruesha as you fell asleep covering your ear with a pillow to dim her cries while the guilt was eating you alive.

“But when the fear comes and I drift towards the ground, I am lucky that you're around.”

You were woken up violently two hours later by Ruesha being out of breath. She was hyperventilating, ugly crying and was hysterical. She was screaming and wheezing at the same time shaking as if her last day had arrived. You assessed her for a few seconds to figure out what the hell was going on. “Rushie?” You asked carefully as she looked desperately at me. Oh my, she was having a full blown panic attack. You hopped out of bed and sprinted across the room to get to her as quickly as you could. You sat myself behind her and held her tight while trying to decompress her. “Breathe Rushie, take a deep breath.” You encouraged as she shook her head. You had panic attacks as a young teen, and you used to drink something to get it to stop. The feeling of liquid and flavor distracting you. You desperately looked around you and grabbed the closest bottle you could find. You flicked the cap off causing it to fly into the room. “Here, drink Ruesha. It will help, I promise!” You said as she shook her head once again. “N-no!’ I’m n-not! I-I-I don’t deserv-“ she cried as the panic continued and took over her breathing. Jesus, Katie had really ruined her making her believe that she didn’t deserve fucking oxygen. “Hey, hey, you, come here Rue rue” you said as you sat yourself infront of her. “Touch my hands please” you said as I you reached out your hands. She grabbed my hands quickly as she panicked. “Squeeze my hands, as hard as you can” you commanded and she squeezed. “Now, put your hands on your head” you said as you demonstrated the movement hoping it would open her lungs up like when you push too hard at the gym. She moved her hands and placed them on her head while still desperately trying to catch her breath. You scooted closer to her, so your noses touched. “Ruesha, it’s okay. It’s just a panic attack. We are gonna get through this.” You said as you stared into her tired yet stunning eyes. You couldn’t even grasp how her eyes were so beautiful even at her worst. I you reached out and pulled her into your lap, as you squeezed her moving the attention away from the breathing. You stroke her back with decent pressure and kept forcing her to breathe in a square. After a few mins of breathing together, she calmed down and flopped toward you. Her body starved of energy. You sat there in silence while you held her tight.

“Rue?”

“Mm?”

“We are gonna get through this together. I’m not leaving you, ever.” You said as you kissed the top of her head. “But tomorrow morning, we are going to talk to the coaches about this, okay?” You said as she nodded and laid down.

She turned herself towards you laying in your warm embrace with her face close to mine as she fell asleep. You waited a good 30 minutes before you dared to fall asleep fearing that she might start panicking again. You spent the time admiring her features. You could tell if even one freckle had moved a centimetre. She was just so beautiful. When she slept soundly, you allowed yourself some rest. But before i you fell asleep you touched her peaceful face. You leaned in towards her ear and whispered;

“When you hit the ground, I’ll be all you need Rue. I’ll love you,everyday. At your worst and at your best. I pinky promise..”

“When I've hit the ground. You're all I need. Cause your love lifts me up like helium.”

*Ruesha pov*

I woke up at 7.30 confused. What had happened last night? I was confused as it hit me as a train. Panic attacks. Crying. Feeling like I didn’t deserve air. I turned around in the single bed finding Y/N holding me as she slept soundly. She had been my bestfriend forever, even before I met Katie. I admired her before touching her face. It was first now that I noticed how beautiful her face was. Tan skin. Light pink full lips, all natural. Not like Katie, Katie had injections in her lips and she would make fun of Y/N for not getting the same fillers. Y/N didn’t need them thought. Her light blue eyes shut as she slept. I decided to hold her as she turned around in her sleep. I realised that she had slept less than me as she was trying to fix what Katie had broken. I leaned in towards her ear and whispered; “Your love lifts me up like helium. I love you forever”

Perhaps if I practiced while she slept, then I might work up the courage to tell her one day..

[dlsau]

Hey solar, how you holding up being drawn like shit (btw your art style is cute mod it's better than mine from a year ago :3 )

Drawn like—? Is that why my hands look like this?

(Ty! I’m not super solid on the way I want to draw so it switches up a lot. And I havent had a ton of practice doing different poses or anything. The quality of work I produce varies a lot. Sometimes it’s decent, other times it’s… well, shit. Lmfao)

Edit: oops! That was supposed to go in the queue. Oh well extra post for y’all today

[floatingxendlessly]

Day 24, reds

Don't mind the sun? in the background, I was too lazy to remove it (couldn't find the layer oop). -w-

Here's the next installment of fanfic inspired arts. It does get spicy and has some violent descriptions so read at your own discretion. But then again, anything involving the Remnants isn't exactly fluffy.

I love seeing other people's interpretation of the Remnants and I wanna explore them too, but that'll be for later. Sorry, I got nothing extra to add. I do, just don't know how to word it atm :/ :D

[fulgurbugs]

Doll mail!

today, i got my kikagoods package, i ordered two different dolls because i wanted to get one of my friend (who had been eyeing one of them) and i wasn’t sure which one she’d like more. and i kept the other one

they were the one of the Antu tidal secret language mermaids, and one of the Kukaka insect cafe girls!

first, the Antu mermaid

i have less pics of her, because she is wasn’t for me, but here’s the box. it’s very large. if you’ve gotten a bjd blind box before, you’ll notice how much bigger it is

my friend got gang coral, the purple one! i don’t have a pic of all the contents of the box, but they come with

-a seashell bra (and mini sticky dots to attach them to the doll)

-two extra sets of hands

-a set of hip fins that peg into the tail

-a dress (different patterns for each doll)

-the usual faceplates (1 face, 1 front hair, 1 back hair)

-a flexible coral crown

i’ll say very worth the price compared to what you get for other bjds blind boxes, plus the fact they’re huge.

they are not super easy to display (very top heavy, no legs) but they can kind of “sit up” on their tail. (i have a pic later on)

next up, the maid cafe insect girls!

i was very excited to get this one, they’re very unique looking and you all know i’m big on bug girls

apparently i didn’t take a picture of the box this time, oops.

here we can see all the parts, as well as the unique body sculpt these girls have!

this takes the cartoony proportions of the series 2 bonnies and pushes them up to 11. i adore their giant hands and feet

here’s their extra hands next to the antu mermaid extra hands, for reference.

here’s her dressed! i did have to take the hands off to fit her sleeves, and they were quite difficult to put on again. a good amount of trying to re-string her with a wire and holding my breath and hoping i wouldn’t drop the string and dissemble her further.

the dress is open for her abdomen and magnetic wings to show. it only velcros a small amount

here she is! i got the white moth, rongrong. she was my third choice (behind orchid mantis and scarab) but seeing these now, there’s not a single one that could have disappointed me.

here’s some more pictures of her (and her photocard, which has some really lovely art)

here’s her next to the antu mermaid

(they are girlfriends)

anyways, here’s the obligatory.5 shot.

anyways, there’s some more bjds i have my eyes on, so i’m sure i’ll be back for more in the future. super super happy with the insect cafe girls!

[mittensmorgul]

so today is my kid’s 23rd birthday, so we went down to dc to see the sights and take in a few museums (kid’s choice). this was probably our first mistake. it was over 100f out there today. meltin’ weather!

we went right for the air and space museum because we love that place, but it’s still having major renovations done and we didn’t realize you need a TIMED ADMISSION PASS to get in right now. they were all gone for today. so we didn’t go in.

so we went across the mall to the national gallery of art. which is also undergoing extensive renovations and it would’ve been nice to know the main entrance was closed before we hiked down there only to find we had to hike back to the opposite end of the massive building in the 100 degree heat. but we made it. i got to see dali’s sacrament of the last supper, hieronymus bosch’s death and the miser, assorted rembrandts, and the only painting by leonardo da vinci in north america. always fun! but we were hungry, and in our hunger half our group was confused about our plans. this led to miscommunication that led to half our group not realizing we’d gone for lunch. oops. eventually everyone ate, and we decided collectively to head toward the natural history museum.

the natural history museum was... really crowded. as expected. but it was also getting on everyone’s last nerves. so we decided to skip the american history museum and just start for home and relaxation.

so we hiked back to the metro, waited for the train, made it about halfway back when they started holding us for an extra two minutes at every stop. fine, weird, but not too bad yet.

and then we hit the Medical Center station between NIH and the Naval Hospital... i used to work there, and forgot how long that escalator is lol, but i got a refresher on it today. Because they stopped the train and were like OKAY EVERYONE OUT WE CAN’T GO ANY FURTHER BECAUSE THE TRACK IS ON FIRE AHEAD.

THE TRACK. WAS ON FIRE.

this is how hot it was today.

like you could smell the weird burning smell in the station tunnel. this led (with a full early rush-hour crowd on the train) to Mass Confusion. Wait why are we getting off here? Where do we go now? Apparently where we went was onto busses that ferried us two train stations further up the line where we could get on a train again.

And those busses were running through... DC rush hour traffic! which meant the two station jaunt that would’ve taken 5 minutes on the train took half an hour! but again, i got to see the old stomping grounds a bit, so annoying as it was, it wasn’t horrific.

We finally got off, found our car, and headed into the final leg of our journey home. Through rush hour traffic! And a thunderstorm that apparently knocked down some trees! and an accident that closed all but one lane on the expressway!

but at least it’s now 30 degrees cooler, and i’m finally home again. i didn’t even get a new picture of myself with my favorite giant ground sloth skeleton. :(

But i had a delicious quiche lorraine in the sculpture garden cafe and got a really superb photo of mr mittens eating a sandwich, so have that i guess :’D

hopefully i won’t have to leave the house at all tomorrow...

[gumballavocadoharry]

Harry and River;

Unwelcomed:

Today I was excited. No, beyond excited, I was ecstatic that I was going to be a volunteer art teacher for the day at River's preschool. I didn't tell him because I wanted to surprise him. I packed a sweet note in his lunchbox today along with a yummy cupcake and his favorite sandwich and a capri sun juice pouch.

River had noticed, I packed extra things in the trunk the night before and questioned me on it. "Well, I'm going somewhere very special." I said with a big smile on my face. River became excited too. He started jumping up and down asking me what the surprise was.

"It wouldn't be a surprise if I told would it?" River thought for a moment before nodding. I rubbed his head and took him upstairs for bed. "You're gonna love it! I'll give you a hint...what's something you always wished would happen while you're at school?"

"A giant dinosaur comes and plays with us!" I looked slightly disappointed.

"You'll see." I tucked him in and placed a soundly smooch on his forehead. "See you in the morning sweetie." "Goodnight daddy."

The next morning, I fixed River cereal with toast and orange juice and then got everything ready for his day at school.

Once we pulled up in the parking deck, I saw River off as he was walking inside. Then once he was out of sight, I went into the trunk and pulled out the easels and paint palettes in the two big bags along with some other painting supplies.

I went in through the back door and set up the equipment in the art room. I could hear the teacher in the other room getting ready to introduce me. I started to get butterflies in my tummy as the time was getting closer. "River is going to be so happy to see me." I said to myself.

"Okay class, this is Mr. Styles. He's going to be our art teacher for today." I looked over to see River surprised. I smiled even harder. The teacher left and I took the kids into the art room. " Hello everyone. I'm your teacher for today and we're gonna have fun. Some of you may have seen me around because I'm rivie's daddy!"

River looked aghast after I said that and a couple of kids started laughing and looking at him. I didn't even realize I used his nickname until I had already said it. I handed everyone a bunch of different color paints and their own paintbrushes with paint palettes.

"Alright kids, Today I want you to paint anything you want and go crazy and have fun!" I set up easels for everyone and turned on some relaxing music to set the mood. "If you guys need anything, I'm right here at my desk."

I went over to River's easel and gave him a big bear hug and a sloppy loud kiss on his cheek that echoed through the room. "Oh my little teddy bear. I bet you're surprised to see me aren't you?" Before River could respond, I saw I had left a bit of saliva on his cheek.

"Oops, I got a little spit all over your cheek. Here let me clean that off." I said softly before cupping his face into my hand and using my thumb as a tissue and wiping his face. "There all clean."

River looked down shamefully with a crooked smile across his face. "What's wrong? Is it your tummy?" I gently put my hand over his tummy to feel for anything. By habit I picked him up and held him up to me so I could see him. "Hm? Do you have to go potty?"

"Dadaaddy!" River said quietly. I set him back down. "Okay, but let me know if anything's wrong." I kissed his nose and went back to my desk.

Later on at recess, I sat in the teacher's lounge eating my lunch while the kids played outside. The cafeteria was where I walked around making sure the kids ate nicely. I was anxious to see if River read the note I put in his lunch. He did along with the rest of the table as they were snickering. It didn't hit me that maybe River didn't really need the extra love in his lunchbox.

All the note said was: I made this lunch with extra love for my little baby boo boo bear.

Eat up! Love daddy!

I just thought River would enjoy such affection from his daddy. The cheers and laughter of children playing was invigorating to say the least. But it wasn't until a loud thud and a cry was heard, that I abruptly sat up and rushed outside. From there I saw my little River rubbing his forehead, while laying on the ground sniffling.

I didn't think twice and just dashed over, instantly picking him up and wrapping him in my arms and suffocated him in kisses. "It's okay, daddy's here. Is your head all better? or do you need more kissies?" I said in a baby voice. I wasn't even paying attention to the other kids staring and watching the whole scene and I was still tightly hugging River in my arms like a toddler clinging to their teddy bear.

River was looking down, face red from embarrassment, but did I get the memo? Nope.

Instead, I pressed another soundly kiss to his already blushing cheek and smiled softly at him, completely protective of the little boy in my arms. Ring! The bell rang and it was time for everyone to go back to class. I took River's hand inside and led him to his classroom. "I'll be here if you need anything, okay pumpkin?" I whispered before letting him go.

He nodded and went back to his homeroom class. I went back into the art room and cleaned up the rest of the art supplies before putting it inside the trunk of my car. I went back inside the school and popped my head inside River's homeroom class to see how he was getting on. "Daddy's boy!" The children chanted. River's face blooming bright firetruck red, head buried over his desk with splotches of tears dripping down like rain drops.

My heart sank in my stomach. A spiky lump caught my breath while I leaned against the pane of the door. What have I done? I thought. I guess my excitement caught the better of me and I didn't have social awareness to River's feelings. After school, River ran to the car before anyone could tease him. I was tongue tied on what to say so I figured the best route was to apologize.

"I'm sorry for accidentally embarrassing you, baby. Daddy was just so happy to see you that he didn't realize that....you're a big boy now and that daddy doesn't need to give you huggies or kissies in public anymore." River looked down. "Yeah," he glanced towards the window. "At home it's okay....at school or in front of my friends... just a high five maybe."

"I think a high five could suffice." And with that, we drove home.

[ask-obt]

Place your orders here! Or, get the digital version here! At last, the physical copies for OBT's first book have arrived! It was really exciting getting to open up this package today, I'll never get over how special it feels to hold all of the effort I've put into this project right in my hands. I was quite overwhelmed with the immediate support when I opened the first wave of pre-orders- I've actually already sold out of the first wave of books! I'll be holding a second wave immediately, and will place orders for the next wave in about a week or so as I estimate how many copies to get. Like with the previous announcement, this is for pre-orders of this next wave, so books will be about 4-6 weeks out depending on production/shipping times! I also finally set up the ability to purchase physical prints through Gumroad, so I'll be redirecting new purchases there instead of the Google Form since it'll be more convenient so y'all don't have to wait for me to process your invoice! (It'll also be nice so I can put a limit on copies available once pre-orders are finished!) Already placed your order through Google Forms? I've contacted all buyers with payment information at this time! Books will be shipped the following business day after payment has been received. It appears I forgot to post information from the previous announcement on Tumblr, oops! Anyway, I’ll post all of that below the cut, but it should also be on Gumroad’s product page.

This book includes all of OBT's current chapters all the way through Chapter 6 (yes, including the pages that haven't released yet)! In addition to that, it also includes concept art, extras, gameplay notes, trivia, and features the beautiful Fan Art Feature section so many folks participated in! All in all, it's about 320 pages of juicy OBT content. This print run will be not-for-profit, meaning that the cost of each book is relegated strictly to what it takes to produce and ship. I, the artist, will not be receiving any revenue from this. OBT is a derivative work, and I don't wanna risk getting in hot water legally. But I do get the satisfaction of holding a physical copy of something I made, so that's more than enough payment for me! (Though if you'd like to tip me as an artist, consider donating to my Ko-Fi or Patreon!) This first print run will be ongoing as supplies last, though more waves may be held depending on interest. You are also welcome to order copies of Born Yesterday outside of the print run, but please note that prices substantially increase for print-to-order copies vs bulk (not my choice obviously lmao, just what the supplier charges). I'll update this post if the bulk copies run out of stock. I'm also willing to hold books for folks who can't pay right away, though ready-to-pay customers will get priority. Unlike Dielle's Wish, these orders are pre-orders, so I can more accurately gauge how many copies to order (these books cost a decent amount more than Dielle's Wish, so I'd like to avoid overstocking as much as possible haha). As such, delivery estimates can range from 4-6 weeks depending on duration of production time. I'll be sure to notify buyers when their order ships! Prices During Print Run Paperback: $38 Price includes production/shipping within the US, and books will be shipped via USPS media mail. Outside of Print Run Paperback: $75 Price includes production/shipping within the US, and books will be shipped via USPS media mail. Price of print-to-order copies varies with number of copies ordered. For non-US countries and territories, the production cost of each book during the print run is $35.67 per book, and shipping estimates start at $20 and can reach up to $35. Buyers are also welcome to DM me for a private invoice! Feel free to PM or comment with questions!

[planet-magic-land]

going to try and get the first page of Kirbot's Comic done and posted by the end of this week, the digital aspect of the 1st page of the comic itself is done and coloured, still tryna figure out the textures bc ideally I don't want to spend too long working on each page so I can get the pages done and posted at a decent rate, and texturing art Too Much can slow that down a lot so might just be sticking to singular textures for now, but the 1st page itself is done but only reason it's not posted yet is bc there's also some photography that's going along with it so, hoping to get that done today, also now an extra bit of digital art involving a Minecraft screenshot oops lol

one thing I took away from my appointments with my Health Coach that's helping a lot is setting myself realistic deadlines for when I can get things done by, bc a lot of the time I have a lot of free time that I could 100% be using to actually get stuff done instead of letting tasks and projects gather dust, it helped me complete and post the previous Jack and Daryl pieces I've done which made me feel really good and I'd like to continue that energy hopefully

[pbandjesse]

I felt better in some ways today. Worse in others. The same in the rest. It wasn't a bad day. I am just tired.

I slept. Fine. When I woke up I wasn't thrilled but I was trying to remain positive. I slept with my hair in a braid last night and that made my hair looked really nice so I was pretty pleased. I really liked my outfit. This is my new denim/chambray romper and my denim shirt I got a few weeks ago. I felt real cute.

James would give me hugs and some cold medicine and I would get ready to go. When I got outside though I was very surprised that there was containers of tomato sauce all over and a bunch of it was splattered on our car??? Very very strange. I called James and they came outside to see and we were both very confused.

I would drive to camp and grabbed some baby wipes to clean the sauce. It was very strange. But it's cleaned now.

I was not having fun. I didn't feel great. The medicine would eventually kick in and I was a lot better but my body was really tired. And I had to push myself a lot today.

My parents chaperones started showing up and they were all so lovely. We had some confusion with some parents going to the lodge by accident. But I would walk my first group over to their station, and then back to collect the other half.

It was fun. They were all so nice. And they would do such a good job!! I was really thrilled with this group of parent volunteers.

While I was showing my last couple parents their station I got called on the walkie that the school was here. So off I went. I was a little annoyed because I am only one person and it is pretty hard to get the parents sorted and the kids sorted but I got over there and Elizabeth had directed them into the building. I thanked her and went to find the teacher.

I was a little frazzled and went through my intro to quickly. Oops. But it was fine. I would realize I went to fast and since I actually remembered to bring the story book I was able to read that and fill some time. And while this group was really big (77 students!) they were a really sweet group.

I would walk them to their stations to use some more time. The first block has 10 extra minutes but it was fine. My parents volunteers were rockstar and didn't complain at all.

I would have to take a lot of breaks. I sat on the office porch. I sat on the bench near arts and crafts. I sat on the field stairs. I would make my rounds but overall everyone seemed fine and didn't need me. So I didn't bother them to much. They seemed like they were doing good.

And I was thrilled about that. It makes my life a lot easier.

It was tense in the office though. I think it was known how upset I had been that I had to come in. But it felt very very awkward in the office. I would later on talk to Heather about how the tone of the texts I got on Friday upset me. And she said maybe the tone wasn't intentional. And maybe that is true. I was still a little upset. But I was trying to let it go.

Elizabeth would ask if I wanted Friday off. Yes. So I agreed to do the other field trip this week. Which I was going to do anyway but since I lost my day off today I am glad I will still have one this week. Even if it isn't with James.

At lunch there was an issue with the toilets just continuously flushing. Heather would walk with me to learn to turn the water pressure lower. And now I know how to do that so that's neat.

The last hour of the day went fine. Except when a kid didn't listen to my warnings and ran down the hill and ate shit. Absolutely destroyed the skin on her knees. I felt terrible. Her teachers cleaned her up and got her ice and bandaids but man did I felt bad. Poor girl. And right at the end of the day! The worst.

During the last half hour I was sitting on the stairs and the pollen in the air was crazy. It was making the world hazy. And while my sore throat has gone away, the pollen is still making me snotty and coughing. Really obnoxious. It's wild so thick it was in the air.

At the end of the program everyone came back to the hacienda and I gave them a short quiz. And thanked them all for coming. And then they were off.

And I needed to be as well. I would collect the trash. And then off the lights. But I didn't go and check anything at the sites because I had to go to the doctors and I didn't have a ton of time.

The rhumatologist is actually about 40 minutes away. But it always takes longer. So I was in the car by 215. And would arrive at 305. So now the worst but not the best. The traffic was only slightly stressful because the ETA kept creeping up. Thankfully I had given myself the full hour. And was on time.

I got taken back pretty quickly. They had the new will and grace show on the TV and it is just so cringe. Like I really liked will and grace when I was a kid but the humor just doesn't hit right in the modern world. Felt icky. But whatever.

The girl who did my injections was fabulous. I didn't feel it at all!! 10/10. And then I had to get labs done so they took my blood. Which hurt slightly but was fine. I joked with the receptionist about them taking my money and my blood. And then showed her some pictures from Africa. It was nice to see everyone again. Been so long!

I went home after that. I had texted James and asked if we could go to Mathews for dinner. And they said yes. So when we got home I changed shoes and put some lotion on my face and we were off.

We walked around the park and talked. It was nice. I was really thirsty and was very excited to be at the restaurant.

We got our normal order and had a quiet meal. Just chatting and sharing recipes and making a grocery list. It was a nice afternoon. I was happy and with my husband.

The walk back was a little harder. I got a hard core pain in my stomach. James distracted me by started a game where we tracked window animals. James got a point for dogs, I got points for cats. The final score was 11 dogs and 8 cats. So they won. It was a fun little game. And while I wasn't having the best time walking, a little to hot, a little to much hurty, I was happy and having fun.

When we got home I went and quickly took a shower and washed my hair and I have basically been resting since then. James brought Ruby upstairs and I was amused by her getting stuck on stuff. I painted my toes and picked some outfits for this week. We have two dinners to go to! Charlotte's birthday on Thursday and then Paul and Sam are hosting a dinner on Friday. I am looking forward to them both.

James came to lay with me. And we have just been watching TikToks and having a nice time. My stomach still hurts but it's not as bad. I think I just would like to sleep.

I have another Native American field trip tomorrow. This one starts a little early. I really hope it goes smoothly. Its a much smaller group so I have high hopes but you never know. Fingers crossed.

Now I am going to go rinse off my face because my allergies are bothering me. And then sleep. I hope you all sleep good. I love you all. Goodnight!

[blamemma]

Top 5 Maxiel headcanons you've come up with

this is going under the cut because it got waaayyy too long to quickly (also this very quickly divulged into headcanons vs. au's oops sorry) (also that first one i could really expand more on if i had any brain power whizzing through my head today)

max is obsessed with daniels tattoos but not in the sense of them being sexy and hot (he likes them also in that way, plz keep writing it into fics xx ) but in an appreciation way....i truly believe max would love museums and art galleries (more traditional than new wave kinda ones, at those he'd be like 'but daniel, i could easily make that, why is it £1,000,000)....idea stems from his love of geography and maps and history but I can honestly see him wandering around the national portrait gallery or the rijksmuseum and admiring these portraits and statues of historical figures and just spouting his facts that he somehow knows and enquiring about how they were made...LIKE SORRY imagine max with one of those lil headset things with the really bad headphones which are often so tiny they fit over no ones head that you get and you type the number in that corresponds to the art you're currently looking at and it tells you all about it hE'D LOVE IT (i think idk i'm hypothesising about a man i dont know) i just think max likes the slower things in life from what he says in his interviews and stuff and I think if he knew he could just wander around and not be noticed and take his time admiring things...he would..sO anyway back to the tattoos got a bit distracted I think Max likes Daniel's tattoos because they're all different...you've got his massive thigh tattoo which is traditional/neo-classical style full of colour and bright and has dedications to family and home...and then you've got text ones but a lot of them are done in different fonts, some more minimalist than others and then you've got the astronaut and the cupid which so obviously have stories behind them and max would love to be told those stories, repeatedly, never tires of hearing daniel explain his tattoos to him and i think he just likes that daniel has art all over him that HE gets to admire....when daniel gets new ones he sits and shows max the designs and asks what he thinks (same with his merch) and max is just straight-up honest and helps daniel tweak things

2. an ode to mine and ray's single dad daniel au but its truly one of the things i now think about most often because its loving someone and their someone!! knowing that loving them means loving their child and their family and that not being a problem!! for max, that is so easy, because it's daniel's child, he loves daniel (even though he doesn't really realise it yet) and so it is easy to love henry??! max literally does not second guess it all whereas daniel is panicking, has seen max and henry get along since he first introduced them (henry really hasn't known a life without max also being there) but adding this extra dimension, where max is something more to him, a partner/lover, and therefore something else to henry terrifies him - he backs out of taking the next step with max SO often because he would rather continue to get these little family moments of him max and henry which he can watch over and pretend they're a real family than take a risk on a relationship with max and truly ruin it and leave henry without max and ultimately leave himself without max!! it's about your priorities as a parent and sometimes thinking you're making the best decision when ur not!!

3. daniel is obsessed with max...u literally just have to refer to the countless interviews where he mentions him, unprovoked, and the way his face lights up!! loves to worship his body, loves seeing how it has changed....THE THESIS (thank you @fourmula1 for ur service)....and i obviously think max is also obsessed with daniel....but its just different idk words are evading me but like daniel knew max as a teenager as a spritely 17 year old and he's now seeing him as a man at 25 winning two world championships already??!?!!?? eyah there's gotta be a bit of admiration and obsession.

4. things got frosty in the middle part of this season between them both because they can't communicate. daniel will hide behind jokes, often self-depreciating, when times get realllyyy tough, and max just wants honesty. wants daniel to lay his cards on the table and tell max how he feels. wants to see daniel punch a wall if that will make him feel better. and so they just....weren't talking....because anytime max asked, he just wouldn't get the truth and then when he'd call daniel out on it daniel would get defensive....i dont think max would want to help with the situation... they know their boundaries when it comes to racing and their teams and what they can and can't say to each other...but I think essentially what happened was just a breakdown in communication and max just feeling like he was being left on the sidelines with a depressed bf who he didn't know how to help...they regressed for a little bit....spent time apart....daniel went to montana and then perth...max spent time in monaco with his friends, rode jet skis, partied etc. they missed each other, they pined for each other, they got advice off their friends, they kissed they talked now they're ok again etc etc. and daniel knows that he CAN tell max anything and max will listen or give advice, whatever daniel wants, but he just needs to know

5. ...they're both vers... like what you like read what you wanna read enjoy what you enjoy we're all writing and reading about these men for our own enjoyment and I also like reading different people's takes on either/or... BUT i just think sometimes a man needs to fuck and sometimes he needs to be fucked and there's different reasons why and its whatever the moment calls for but we go back to number 3 and the obsession daniel has with how max has changed and its just another way for him to enjoy and obsess over this change in max....i do think they would have started with daniel topping but as max becomes more confident in his skin and LOVES what daniel does to him he wants to give daniel the same....max lOVES to make people happy, daniel fucking him makes him so happy and content and he knows that makes daniel happy to but he wants to try it the other way, try something new etc etc. it's about them pleasing each other at the end of the day and just being able to serve each others needs....