#or 'no kink on pride cause what HOMOPHOBES will think of us because of your weirdos'

[pageofheartdj]

Reading all the complaints about microlabels it seems like people have an idea that ‘you just want to feel opressed’.

Which is. No!

That’s not what microlabels are for. And honestly it feels pretty offensive to assume that you are the way you are just to be opressed. This is the core part of your identity and if you are not opressed or not as oppressed as others, you are not valid.

Labels are words. And you know what words are for? That’s right, to desribe something in the most accurate way.

Labels give people a sense of belonging and community. A sense of understanding and being understood.

When you don’t have to build this massive explanation, when you can say one word and this is you.

They are acting like we will rip away their spot light of poor opressed victim. Or we will take their piece of a pie by also being here jfc.

We are people and we are all living our lifes and you don’t get to order how we do it. We aren’t touching you and you leave us alone.

[r3starttt]

PUT AWAY THE PRIDE

SUMMARY: fucking ur bff who's in a relationship with a man, ew!

CW: hate sex. comphet abby. homophobic bf ew!!!!. dom!abby sub!reader. fingering. sissoring. pet names. (baby, pretty girl) finger sucking. prasing kink(?

creds to @atyourmerci for the Abby pic!!!

If you want it, you can have it. If you need it, we can make it

"Are you fucking- god abby" he'd crossed the line. That line that was invisible to you but still the thiniest for abby, until now, or so you wished because she'd go back to him once you've made your 'shoulder to cry on' function.

Abby was mad, even behind a phone you could feel how she couldn't bare him for now. You had no clue what happened just knew Abby's boyfriend had fucked it all again and she needed you, again.

The usual routine you forced yourself to not get used to but somehow became it, a routine. "Yeah, you know you can always.... just hurry" you ended the call abruptly. Otherwise, abby would not only be mad at that man, and nor you or her could take that kind of encounter currently.

You knew she was on her way already. So once more, with legs crossed on top of your coffee table, you did nothing but wait for her to arrive at your appartment. It always made you feel pathetic.

Her boyfriend despised you to say the least, from the moment you first met. And honestly you never knew why, even though you begged abby at one point to ask him herself just to not cause any trouble yourself. It didn't work.

You've had some alone encounters with him whenever Abby took you out and he had to be there. Nicely asking how his week or day had been, trying to make a small conversation with the typical 'long time no see, huh' or directly asking him - at one point, what the fuck was his problem with you. He was so stupidly manlish with his demeanor towards you it made you think if maybe abby wasn't using the proper words to describe you. Like he wasn't the problem.

On the other hand, your relationship with abby became confusing as her relationship with him grew bigger. Like it's toxicity was slowly getting to her, to you.

And not the type to ruin the friendship forever but just ruin the platonic. The one where sometimes spending time alone ends up in you drunk not moving your eyes away from her lips as she speak, or the one that makes her rest her hands somewhere on your body whenever you go out with friends. The one that ends in a weird exchange of words whenever you try to talk about it.

It was still unbearable tho. Always third-wheeling, then fighting with eyes only every time you made accidental eye contact with him, and eye fucking abby whenever he didn't pay attention to her, or you. Or feeling abby eating you alive with the eyes, just for denying it all later but not completely because you two had always been in the type of friendship where you're close with your friend to a point there's no shame about anything and you can make those type of jokes.

Jokes that somehow turned passive aggressive, not only between you two but also between abby and that men you equally despise.

"The fuck did he do now, mhm?" You sighed, resting your face on top of your shoulder, letting all your weight press over the shared couch. Drunk eyes paying detailed attention to Abby as she spoke. "I'm a fucking mess, that's all" she seemed off, something that genuinely troubled you considering how stubborn she was. "You're not, well, a... decent, nice mess" her laugh was gorgeous, it made you smile the moment you hear it. Her eyes met yours, as if you could talk with just that, a look. "Thanks"

"He's the problem. Even with that personality of yours, you've done no wrong" she pouted, it could only mean this was getting awkward for her. You couldn't care any less. "You're fucking charming abby, and it kills me youre with such person. Also, a man? Be for real" it was a joke, but that look on her face, it wasn't such simple for her. "I'm just saying, you're hot and so young and you have so much shit to live, he's holding you from that"

Abby turned around, her usual braided hair danced along her back, resting near her face. A sudden smile elicted on her face, she was about to bother you. "You think so?" You furrowed your brows, confused at what she meant "I'm hot?" She cleared herself. You just laughed, nodding while desperately trying to readjust yourself in a less compromised position, so near to her. "I know so"

"Yeah?" She left the glass with alcohol in it resting somewhere beside her. You smiled back at her, feeling her weight get overwhelming over you every second. You had to stop it. "Want more?" You didn't know bit alcohol would eventually become your one salvation from sin and fall into temptation.

Abby went home that night, just to hear him talking shit about you, and it clicked. She tried hard to give him a chance, because that meant she could have a chance as well. A chance for what? To prove she wasn't fantasizing about you in a way more than a friendship, to give all but you a taste and make her mind on what she liked and how she liked it. It failed, abruptly.

Because she lost time and wasted her persona in such men like him. And after running to you every time she couldn't bare it anymore, looking at your hands, neck, lips, eyes whenever she got drunk, after having so many late night talks with you whenever the awkwardness she felt wasn't rough enough to not keep her sober, she realized she could not run away from you, in fact, she needed you and needed to run in your direction every time. She had to give you a chance now.

That's the reason behind his hate towards you. No matter what, you'd always be her biggest priority. And god, she changed so much when she was with you, she'd transform into the girl he fell in love with, the one he lost once they actually started dating.

You had such a delightful effect on her, and he hated the idea of not being able to be the one for her.

Yet whenever he'd ask about you, abby would only say how close you two were since forever and how you wouldn't be a bother in the relationship. All of that was pure lies to keep it calm.

And those replies eventually got to you, like a day after that night you swore she wanted to kiss you. "I was drunk, doesn't mean anything" "what? You think I'll kiss you?" You wanted to dragg her back home with that man she'd found and make it clear you wouldn't let her be such an asshole. You didn't of course, both just laughed it off.

Until now, you couldn't wait for her to come and make it all clear, she was mad and it might not be the greatest idea but why should you care if she's not in the mood? You weren't the one behind that mood, not guilty of any of her shit.

Or that was the plan, because seeing the tears contained on the corner of her eyes, right about to fall and make a mess on her face. You simply couldn't.

"What did he do?" It wasn't the typical scenario. This was an unexplored rage, as if there was some sort of attraction that grew stronger as every second passed by. Maybe this was it, you thought.

Abby's red eyes met yours in such a relieved way, like she'd found something she felt eager to find. It was just you.

It caught you out of guard the way her hands travelled to the sides of your arms. " I realized I needed you"

The only thing you could come up with was a stupid 'huh'. Wandering your eyes all over her face and body. Abby had her own locked on you, probably as confused as you.

She had to. Her salty lips pressed on you, followed by the palms of her hands. You reciprocated, standing still but trusting your lips to do all the work necessary.

It's sloppy and messed, a silent fight between the silence that fills the ignored pain you're feeling and the anger she's been carrying all the way here.

It was miserable, her palms on your body, trying to find a way to bring you closer as you tried- not to step back but to prevent yourself from getting into it. Abby was only yours for a couple of hours and it was painful to have her so close to you but not having the actual chance to claim her yours.

"Fucking hate you for this" you murmured. Her eyebrows scrunched, there was such an euphoric feeling inside her, a mix of fear, confusion and anger. All for you

"Yeah?" She mocked you, resting her hands on the inside of your clothed stomach. "It could've been different"

"It will be" her lips smacked aggressively over yours again, trailing a path down your jawline.

Her fingers moved up your back, getting rid of your bra in such a pathetic way. You took her shirt off, trying to take the closest and clearest look of what you would never be able to have you you craved so much.

She laughed at it, doing the same for you. Her hands swayed all the way down your ass, gripping it with such force it burned. You let out a chocked breath, feeling her lips move on their own way down your body.

Her knee stepped in between your legs, so easily you could feel the vibration from her chuckle right in the middle your breasts. Fucking torture you've got yourself into.

She couldn't get enough but had to, running her fingers along your waist, down your cunt. Her fingers slide in between your slicked folds, slowly outside your cloathed arousal, begging for her.

Her palms slapped over it severely times, eliciting open mouth whimpers out of you, deliciously filled with her tongue against yours to shut you.

You tried to get her to stop, only receiving groans as a response. Until she got tired of it "fucking shut up and take it, be good, can't you?"

There wasn't a specific idea on her mind but take as much as possible out of you, to make a memory in honor to that gross man she ever felt the slightest of attraction to. Mocking you and him for her own pleasure, once in her whole life she thought.

Her fingers finally touched your clit, ager for it. The circles over it were so slow, you kept bucking your hips on her hands, attempting to get more friction. "Fucking stay still" abby groaned, thrusting her fingers inside you. God it felt glorious.

You voiced the most perfect whimpers for her, the way her name came out of your mouth, followed by the most prettiest pleads. It was driving her insane.

The sounds coming out of you were so obscene. Abby couldn't be in such good paradise

She made sure to curl her fingers at every thrust, speeding enough to make it painfully confusing for you.

Her lips kept busy shushing you, taking a taste of your nipples, your clavicle, every inch of your body.

"Shit- c'here" you demanded, dragging her by the jawline as the knot on your stomach grew overwhelmingly fast. She tastes better than anything you've ever had in your life, something worth the pain it'll cause you later when she's gone.

You let out a loud cry at the abruptly of her actions, leaving you empty. "Open" her middle and index finger fully covered in your wetness. You obeyed, feeling the palms of her fingers rest in your tongue, forcing you to take a taste. "Doing so good f' me, such a pretty girl"

She dragged you to the couch, the one that brought you closer that day she'd first approach to you in this way, whatever this was. The one that brought you closer when she left that day, and whe she laughed this off. Such an ironic situation.

It all brought a series of conflicting thoughts to your mind. Distracting you from such pleasure you should be enjoying.

Her hands grabbed the hooks of your jeans, dragging them down your legs. She made sure to get in charge of all the hard work, you should've notice-

Her weight was already on top of you. The way her eyes wandered all over you face, it was different. Your hands got locked by hers, breathing heavily at the sudden sight and feeling that ran through your body, that made you forget whatever was keeping your mind busy some seconds ago.

"Spread 'em open, be a good girl f'me" Abby groaned the moment she could finally get to be so close to you. Letting all of her weight rest over your body, aggressively humping in between your legs, rubbing her clit against yours.

Your ears were filled by her whimpers, groans whenever she got too overwhelmed. There was nothing you could to but let her use you for her own pleasure, not that you weren't use to it.

"Fuck baby... so good f'me, so so good" she whined, speeding her moves in between your legs. There could never be a better sight than this.

Some locks of her hair starting to stick on her forehead, the sweat covering her abs, her arms flexing to support her own way and oh, all this just for you to see. Sure he'd never seen such scenario.

She sounded so fucking pretty, on top of you, crying at how deliciously your clits rubbed together. You, on the other hand, felt like just cumming by the sight, by the idea of her body displayed like this.

Your thighs were ridiculously covered in both your and her slick, it increased at her every move, sloppy and messy, such a desperate disaster.

Your pleads and whines were completely ignored, she'd already given you what you needed and ni longer cared about whatever you felt you needed or deserved. This was about her.

Still you managed to wrap around her, feeling her drench your thighs even more as a breathless 'fuck' came out of her lips, letting go of your hands, already getting numb at her grip.

"See? Promised you it'll get better"

[butchpeace]

Here’s what I think about the discussion surrounding pride.

Do I think there should be public indecency or kink at pride? No. Do I think corporations and alcohol companies should get the hell out of our parades? Yes.

Do I like the fact that so many straight people think it’s a fun conversation to talk shit about pride parades or pride month? Not at all. Because that rhetoric is coming from the conservative media, and it’s just the tip of the iceberg of what they really want to say.

Conservative politicians and influencers have a proven track record of saying things that feel reasonable on the surface, getting people on their side, and then upping the ante once they have their claws in you.

We could lose gay marriage. Look what’s happening to abortion. Conservatives right now talk big about how they’re “cool with the gays, but the trans and kink stuff goes too far”. They talk big about how TIMs especially are sexual predators.

How long do you think it’s gonna take for their goalposts to shift after they ban gender transition for kids? How long until the government goes after gay rights? How long until they start shifting the conversation and indoctrinating people into the belief that gay people are predators?

We still live in a predominantly Christian country. All abrahamic religions are homophobic at their core, or have homophobic sects. And even without religion, people tend to hate what they don’t understand. Laws or no laws, we’re still being discriminated against. We’re still losing our jobs. We’re still being bullied and called slurs.

We don’t actually have equality until we’re treated with respect by everyone we meet.

Just the fact that transition is happening so much is connected to how conservative and religious this country has become. There are parents out there who would rather their kids transition than just be gay. Many transitioning people have religious trauma in the list of causes for their transition. You know where else in the world that’s happening? Iran.

We think the US is so progressive, so we agree with people who say it’s “progressed too much”, but is that really what’s happened? Transition, at least in homosexuals, is regressive. And we will go back to the stone age of “protecting the nuclear family from the lavender menace” if conservatives get their way.

And here’s the thing - There’s probably a reason they’re only going after transition for minors. They’re probably not going to ban it for adults. First of all because transition is big business, and second of all because it actually benefits their ideology for us to trans the gay away.

Maybe your conservative uncle or neighbor will still be okay with gay people. But what about your nieces and nephews? What about all these kids now who are getting brainwashed by the conservative influencers on social media? It only takes one generation to send us backwards by decades.

So yeah, I think pride should be more kid friendly, and we should keep people with creepy motives out. But I also don’t think someone wearing leather or a dog collar is the biggest problem in our community right now, and I sure as hell won’t be buddy buddy with conservatives when I know for a fact many of them are lying through their teeth when they say they support us.

In reality, most straight conservative people who parrot these complaints have never been to a pride parade, and don’t want to. They have no need to be involved. So it’s suspicious to me to see them criticizing our community like it’s just some hot topic to gossip about.

The conservatives spreading this rhetoric are just saying what they think they can get away with, and they’ll start saying shit about gays again too when it becomes acceptable.

[autolenaphilia]

I’m not the first person to notice there are some people on this site who view themselves as queer, but still have some very sexually conservative views. They are gay, trans or non-binary, but for example are very disgusted by other queers doing kink, causing the never-ending kink at pride discourse. Call them puriteens (some of them are in fact not teens), tenderqueers, whatever, they are a thing, a real genre of person

A lot of them seem to have baggage from a specifically American Christian evangelical upbringing, and it’s purity culture, or different but similar religious backgrounds. That makes a lot of sense for how these people tick. These people realize they are queer in some way, and that leads to a break with their religious upbringing, but they still have a lot of ingrained prejudice from that upbringing, especially about queer people who are different from them.

And even if you grow up in a secular or fairly relaxed religious environment, mainstream culture is filled with homophobic, misogynist and transphobic messaging that you will internalize. If you grew up in an environment that sees even kinky cis gay people as disgusting and trans women in general as predatory perverts, that is going to linger, even if you have struggled to accept your own queerness.

The problem is that a lot of (especially white) queers think because they are queer now, their views and even their immediate emotional responses are automatically progressive and liberatory. They forget that they have been raised with prejudice and bigotry, and that it might be ingrained in how they think and react to things. If you only rejected the religion and ideology of your conservative upbringing because you discovered you were queer yourself, it is easy to not challenge bigotry against people unlike yourself.

They also forget that even if queerness is a useful umbrella term to describe what we have in common, we are not a monolith. Some queer people have privilege over other queer people, and that gives them material benefits to continue certain forms of oppression. So they are incentivized by society to not challenge certain systemic oppression, which makes even sincere self-criticism of that ingrained prejudice even harder. Cis gays have cis privilege over trans people and TME trans people have privilege over transfems. Queer men are not exempt from male privilege, and misogyny is a problem in queer communities. Our communities are dominated by white people, and we need to acknowledge that systemic racism exists, and that white queer people like me have white privilege, especially over queer people of colour.

When you benefit from systemic oppression, it’s easier to not challenge bigotry and prejudice. And it’s hard to do so even if you want to. The brain functions so that you get an emotion about a thing first, and then it comes up with rationalizations for why you feel that way. A religious person finds something weird and disgusting and thinks it’s because “it’s against God’s will.” It’s similarly easy for a person who finds queer kinky people disgusting to find non-religious reasons to rationalize that disgust. Typically it’s through some tortured logic to argue it’s somehow child sexual abuse. That method is even used by religious people trying to rationalize homo- and transphobia, since CSA is something that pretty much everybody thinks is evil and disgusting (for good reasons).

So you find self-described queer people arguing that kink at pride is somehow “grooming” of children, mindlessly regurgitating the age-old “queer people recruit and sexually abuse children” trope. Or leading callout campaigns against transfem after transfem, calling them pedophiles for things that are not pedophilia, like having weird kinks or liking the wrong kid’s cartoon. It’s the old method of disposing of transfems by falsely painting them as predatory, as described in “Hot Allostatic Load”. Being transfem is often painted as being a fetish in itself (as I wrote about here), so being “kink-critical” easily turns to transmisogyny. Yet the people doing it often defend themselves by arguing that it is not transmisogyny, because “i’m trans myself”, and it’s about the crimes of “this individual transfem, not transfems as a group” (despite doing this ritual of callouts, isolation and disposal in succession against transfem after transfem on fake charges).

And all this is nothing new, young queer folks on tumblr did not pioneer any of this. It’s the age-old tactic of queer assimilationism and homonormativity. Queers who think they are more palatable to the cishet majority try to vie for acceptance by throwing more “weird” and marginalized queer people to the wolves. “I’m one of the good ones, those other queers are disgusting perverts.” Distancing yourself from the queer people who do kink and polyamory is a major tactic of this.

Even the tactic of rehabilitating your own ingrained religious sexual conservatism by giving it a feminist and progressive coat of paint is nothing new. In fact I think this is what a lot of the old terfs did. Early influential terfs had a catholic background, and it shows in their works.

For example Janice Raymond was the woman who did more than anyone else to create a coherent transmisogynist “feminist” ideologywith her 1979 book The Transsexual Empire, (elements of it existed before her, but she gave its first coherent expression). Raymond was once a catholic nun, a member of the Sisters of Mercy (the Catholic order of nuns, not the awesome goth rock band). She is now a lesbian, which is clearly why she broke with the Catholic church, yet she has retained suspiciously catholic opinions on both trans women and sex workers. She still agrees with the Catholic Church that both should be eradicated, except Raymond would claim she wants them gone for feminist reasons. She is very much the archetype of a cis middle-class queer who still retains the bigotry against trans women and sex workers from her religious upbringing, now justified in feminist terms. And she never had reason to challenge that bigotry, because as a woman with cis privilege who has a comfortable academic career, she benefits from it.

Raymond’s The Transsexual Empire originated as her dissertation under her professor, Mary Daly, who is an even clearer example of this, and an influential early TERF. Daly taught at the Jesuit-run Boston College, and started off as a “feminist theologian”, trying to reconcile feminism and catholic theology. She eventually abandoned this project for obvious reasons, but strong traces of catholic thinking remained in her work.

Her arguments in her book Gyn/Ecology about how “transsexual surgeries” are a violation of the boundaries of the natural body are very close to the transphobic arguments made by true-believing catholics today. This argument is made in the context of a wider anti-technology, anti-industrial and anti-urban argument in the book that science and technology are a “Frankenstein phenomenon”, male attempts to mimic women’s ability to create life, which can only destroy. This all echoes the arguments of older reactionary catholic writers from De Maistre to Tolkien, in its gender essentialism, the idea that modern industry and urban life is destructive to humanity’s natural way of life, creating sexual degeneracy like transsexuality. For in this extremely religious ideology, there is no real progress, because we humans can’t constructively add to what is already created. Daly only gives this reactionary argument a superficial feminist and environmentalist coat of paint.

And this specifically Catholic influence on the terf movement has continued to this day. The idea of “gender ideology” and being “anti-gender” that is so common in terf rthetoric comes from 90s Catholic theologians. Of course, terf connections to the religious right go beyond catholicism, dating back at least to Raymond’s work with the Reagan adminstration in the early 80s, and has only accelerated to direct connections to the fascist revival in the last ten years, especially as the movement has expanded beyond it’s original base of cis lesbians.

The fate of the terfs, to be co-opted into a fascist movement, shows clearly where this kind of movement among queer people is heading. We have no reason to think today’s young queers who have a proven track record of falling for transmisogynist nonsense and ingrained anti-kink and assimilationist impulses will end up anywhere different. The ironic thing is that these people often view themselves as being “anti-terf” while repeating old terf arguments against kinky queer people and their old transmisogynist tactics to dispose of trans women. In fact, the kink at pride discourse was in fact created by 4chan fascists and these people fell for it.

It’s a self-defeating politics, of course. No matter how many concessions to cisheteronormativity a queer person does, no matter how many other queer people they throw to the wolves, you can only delay your own persecution, not prevent it. All alliances with fascism will end in you being stabbed in the back. The benefits you derive from furthering homo- and transphobia, racism and misogyny against other queer people are limited. It’s motivated by self-interest, but those interests are better served by solidarity and fighting back against patriarchy and cishetnormativity.

[foxfairy06]

Look around you. Do you see where “No Kink At Pride” has led? Being transgender is illegal now. Exactly what people said would happen. You know what’s going to be next? Being gay is going to be illegal. Because being gay is not “respecting straight people’s boundaries”. They don’t want to see you. They want to kill you. The reason Republicans are getting so far by criminalizing drag and trans people is because they convinced the general public crossdressing is a sexual act (i.e. kink). To homophobes, queer people existing is a kink.

Look around you. 'no kink at pride' has literally nothing to do with that. That literally has nothing to do with it. Conservatives will always see us as predators. FENCE SITTERS do not. Do you know what conservatives use as ammunition to pull fence sitters to their side? Children seeing gimps and dildos at pride events. Children being surrounded by penis popsicles at pride stalls that aren't labeled 18+. That is the shit that CAUSES conservatives to be born.

Think about those who are important. The queer children. The queer people who aren't mature enough to see that kind of thing. No kink at pride has nothing to do with what we are, and everything to do with not giving predatory behavior space in our community, protecting lesbian, gay, bi, and trans kids, and making pride a safe environment for everyone.

Think for five seconds about how stupid your argument is, and how many conclusions it jumps too.

[fandomshatelgbtqpeople]

It’s often hard to find posts that are pro-kink and pro-ace, so I decided to make one.

I was going to start this off with a list of statements that “can and should coexist” but for much the same reason that this post is going to be an essay unto itself, it is too complicated a subject to condense into such a nice pithy format. Recently I have reblogged some posts in favor of the presence of kink at pride. I have not changed on this regard but unfortunately this issue is also used by exclusionists to direct attacks at a-spec people. As such it is often hard to find posts that are pro-kink and pro-ace, so I decided to make one.

The queer community is a massive and diverse group and with that diversity comes conflict. There is no one size fits all solution. What helps one part of the community will not necessarily benefit another. Gay bars are a great place to meet people. They are also loud, crowded, and serve alcohol which makes them difficult for people with sensory over stimulation or substance abuse issues. So people who want these spaces are often accused of being prudes and people who want to include kink at pride are often accused of being deviants. And oddly I can think of a historical figure who has had both of these accusations leveled at him. Cue historical flashback for a Very Special Episode.

Richard Berkowitz was in his own words an S&M Hustler. He was a sex worker and professional Dom. He is Jewish, lives in New York, has a degree in Journalism from Rutgers and called his mom in New Jersey everyday. He is also one of the co-inventors of Safe Sex.

In the early 80s he was diagnosed with GRID. Gay Related Immunodeficiency which would later be called AIDS. He was a patient of Dr Joseph Sonnabend along with another man Michael Callen. Sonnabend was himself a gay man and an immunologist. Sonnabend hypothesized that GRID was spread through sex and was caused by “immune overload.” This was a hypothesis that was not popular in the gay community at large because many felt it validated the homophobic abuse that was constantly flung at the community. Sonnabend was not giften with words and was terrible as a science educator so Berkowitz and Callen teamed up to help him get the word out.

While the 60’s was known for the Free Love movement for straight people the seventies saw the repeal of many anti sodomy laws and it was the decade of free love for gay people. Many saw promiscuity as a part of that liberation. It should also be noted that at the time I am talking about no one knew yet what caused GRID, so the hypothesis that it was caused by promiscuity was viewed as tantamount to blasphemy. I should also note that Dr. Sonnabend was not claiming to be above promiscuity. He himself frequented gay bathhouses where many gay men would meet to have sex. Berkowitz and Callen met through Sonnabend and together worked to help Sonnabend to spread the word. Their first attempt was an article in the New York Native a local gay newspaper titled “We Know Who We Are.” The Native editorial staff insisted on a subtitle, “Two Gay Men Declare War on Promiscuity.”

Berkowitz and Callen were immediately reviled by the gay community of New York. They were accused of being prudes and self hating gay men. But they kept following Dr. Sonnabend and helping him communicate his findings and theories to the populace even if no one would listen to them. The next year was hard of them and journalism work wasn’t paying the bills for Berkowitz. He eventually returned to work as a Dom. However this time he worked with clients who wanted to be Dominated but not penetrated. As time went on he found ways of doing his job that minimized risk for both him and his clients. This led him and Callen to write a pamphlet on sexual health called “How to Have Sex in an Epidemic: One Approach” In it they explained the basics of Safe Sex that are now taught in Health Classrooms in the US. One of my favorite tips they gave was to love your partner even if it is just for one night. If you love them you won’t want to risk hurting them and you will be more careful.

The fate of different gay venues would continue to be a hot button issue in the community even to this day. There were arguments made about closing gay bars, sex clubs, and bathhouses in the name of public health. And there were arguments made to keep them open because many feared if they closed down they would never open again.  

So what am I getting at here? Well really I just wanted to highlight how the needs of the community can conflict with themselves. And how that conflict has always been part of the community. We need a diversity of spaces in order to embrace the diversity of our community. We need non sexual spaces. We need them for our a-spec siblings and so that I can go on a nice date with a guy and talk in peace and safety without having my ears blown out by a subwoofer. We need loud party spaces. We need places we can dance and grind and flirt with strangers. We need sexual spaces where people who are interested in kink can explore that interest with like minded people.

And finally we need to acknowledge that kink is an integral part of our community. Our community was built by sex workers and we need them. First and foremost they are a part of our community and they are valuable in their own right. But further, for many reasons that are too numerous to name many members of our community will experience their first time with a professional. Many queer people will for numerous reason be sex workers. Their involvement in our movement can help make us resistant to those who would sanitize Pride. It can make our events advertiser unfriendly and help keep corporate greed from monetizing our identities. We have to remember that although our community is becoming more respected, that respectability is not the goal. Liberation is the goal.

The First Pride was Riot.

[applesdrowned-a]

PRIDE EDITION !

as  promised   here   are   some   pride   headcanons  .   the  questions  are  from  an   image  i   found  (  revised  for  rp  purposes  )   ,   feel   free  to  use  for  your  own  hcs  !

1. what is your muses sexuality ? : chad is a homoromantic demi-homosexual !

2. what gender does your muse identify as ? : cismale.

3. how long have they been aware of their sexuality and or gender ? : chad knew he was gay pretty much his entire life. he never had to think about it. he just knew "yeah i like boys" and that was that. he got kicked out of private school at age 10 for hospitalizing one of his bullies who called him a gay slur

4. do they have any preferences ? : not sure what this is asking, i assume it means gender preference ? but since my muse is gay it doesn't apply. 

5. share a positive memory of your muse coming out : chad came out to his brother and sister when he was ten. his parents found out chad was being called gay slurs at school after he hospitalized his bully. it was only fair he told his siblings. his sister took a while to wrap her head around the concept being younger, but she just wanted chad happy. his older brother was also extremely accepting of his brothers sexual identity. chad became even closer to his siblings that day.

6. how do they feel about pride month ? : chad loves pride month and is super obnoxious about celebrating it. he suppressed his sexuality throughout high school to avoid ridicule so like once he got away from that and felt more comfortable in his own skin. he is not shy about letting people know he is very happy to be gay.

7. do they participate in pride related events / any other events ? : my boy loves pride events. he went to his first pride parade in los angeles in university with his third boyfriend ( they were friends still at the time ) luca russo. chad wore the flag face paint and carried his little flag around. he was in awe of the festivities. he never had the guts to go to a parade before alone. 

since then chad has attended pride every year. even if he was single at the time. he does not miss a chance to embrace his identity.

8. how does your muse feel about lgbtq+ roles in media ? : seeing his community represented in media is very important to chad. as long as its done respectfully he is always happy to see queer folk in tv and movies. and like pretty much every person in the community, he hates queer baiting with a passion. the second he sniffs it chad will stop watching the program. he can tell  the difference between that and slow burn.

9. do they feel pride in who they are ? : chad struggled with his sexuality for a long time in fear of facing ridicule. it wasn't until he finally left home did he really embrace who he was. there was no reason to hide it anymore. in his adult life chad very much has pride for his sexuality and his community. 

hes heard stories from people in the past who wish they were different if only to stop the abuse. but chad has never wanted to be anyone else then the gay man he is. if given the chance he will provide a confidence booster in this regard. born this way by lady gaga is a huge inspiration for him.  ( yes i know it came out after he canonly died but on this blog we say fuck canon ) but lets clear the room, well chad is not insecure about his sexuality, he is overall stupidly insecure otherwise.

10. who has been your muses supportive idol in their self discovery ? : as chad didn't really have to struggle with finding his sexuality he never found reason to admire anyone. he does however look up to anyone who is comfortable with their identity and or a positive influence for the lgbtq+ community.

11. who was your muses first crush ? : chad was twelve when he started crushing on a boy in his history class. it wasn't anything more then wanting to hold his hand and sit next to him and smile. it was a fleeting fancy that chad got over in a short time. chad would often get soft feelings inside his chest for boys that would even simply smile at him.  but he once again would always suppress his desire for boys, never allowing himself to actually ask one out.

12. what advice does your muse have for lgbtq+ teens ? : if chad could go back and do it all again, he likely wouldn't have repressed himself. he would tell any teen in the community to never be afraid of who they are, if people didn't accept them then fuck those people. you are born who you are, and the real ones will love you for it.

13. has your muse come out to friends and family ? : yes he has. his parents and siblings know. ( see five ) chad never had friends really so there was no need to come out. most people who meet him in his college life onward, could just tell he was gay.

14. how does your muse feel about the phrase "coming out" ? :  chad sees this as letting your colours show. before you were kinda black & white like everyone else, the same, uniform. but then you let your colours come out & were seen as different.

15. do they believe there is a closet to come out of ? :  yes. the closet in his opinion is something you hide in until you feel safe to emerge. like if someone broke into your house, you hide until the danger has past. for some the danger might never pass, but if they stay in the closet forever they won’t have a chance to really live. sure they be alive but you won’t be living your life. being in the closet is safest, but its not really living. 

16. what's your muses biggest pet peeve when it comes to lgbtq+ characterization in media ? : harmful stereotypes. mostly because as a gay man chad can attest to certain things being common, and he knows he doesn't fit into a lot of those commonalities. particularly where sex is concerned. so it makes him a wee bit insecure. 

17. what's their favourite part when it comes to lgbtq+ characterization in media ? : finding someone he can relate too. he likes when gay men are portrayed for more reason then to be a token gay character. he likes a story with an actual backbone. something real. 

18. do they practice safe sex with the same gender ? : yes and no. he is very adamant about both parties being safe and comfortable but chad for most of his sexual career was a sub/bottom. he took it rather than gave it. his first boyfriend didn't like condoms, and chad being naive and fearful of him didn't ask him to wear one. the fact his boyfriend was uncovered was not what was making him the most uncomfortable so it wasn't really on his mind.

his following sexual relationship with boyfriend three fell into a similar pattern. chad didn't give he took,  and when he gave there was no coverage. since they were exclusive neither saw a need for protection. chad didn't see an issue with it.

boyfriend four insisted on wearing one most of the time, but since chad never penetrated him he never had to wear one.

patrick didn't give a fuck, a reason why chad insisted patrick wear a condom in the beginning of halloween part 1 cause he was worried about disease. in fact i hc they were unprotected until chad suspected cheating and got his boyfriend to cover up. although pat never asked chad too.

tldr; chad has little experience with protective sex but will always want to make things as safe as possible for his partner. so boy will wear the condom if asked.

19. what are their turn offs with the same gender ? what are their turn ons : turn ons are older men of authority. chad is very dominant in personality, but also has an extreme submissive side that can come out with the right partner. this part that longs to be taken care of is what attracts him to men in control. he also likes a man who knows what he wants, and has some culture behind him. ( talk dirty to him in another language and he will melt ) oh and praise is another huge turn on, he loves validation 

turn offs are pain. he doesn't like it. anything hardcore BDSM will have him running for the hills. no S&M. and anything demeaning, don't call him slut, whore etc. it makes him uncomfy. in terms of actual personality traits from men, anyone that acts like his first boyfriend ( leather biker, hot shot type ) will have him nopping out.

20. how does your muse feel about lgbtq+ clubs/apps/websites ? : this is a grey area for him as he is certainly in support of gay web content, its how its used that effects him. like, his experience with connecting with the community in any kind is limited to a general kink website which his boyfriend used to chest on him. so his feelings around that are a little uncomfortable. 

21. how do they feel about the term "queer" ? : chad has no issues with this word. he doesn't have anything deeper to say about it, other than it sounds close to queen in his opinion and he wears that label proud.

22. what tips would they give to heterosexual/cisgendered people looking to better understand the community and news surrounding it ? : chad would tell them to be open minded and not look at it with bias. forget about the hetronormative society you live in and just be open to another view. 

23. whats the most annoying question your muse has ever gotten for being lgbtq+ ? :  the most annoying question chad gets is when people ask who is the woman in the relationship. it really grinds his gears as something like that implies either he or his partner isn't a real man. it also makes him insecure as he is neither a masculine or effeminate gay. hes kinda of in between and it really rubs people the wrong way sometimes. because they expect him to act a certain way.

he acts gay, but hes more gay, and less gay depending on what people are seeing. so when people ask him if hes the man or the woman it brings out his rage over the fact that thats a homophobic af comment, and also his dilemma on what type of gay he is.

24. how do they feel about receiving questions about their sexuality and or gender ? : chad is overall not a super friendly person. i mean he can be, but his second language is bitch so be careful lol. so it really depends on who is asking and what they are asking. if a stranger is asking dumb shit he won't be inclined to give more than a "fuck off" but if someone he knows has some curiosities he wouldn't mind, depending on how invasive it is.

[fangroyal]

WIP Meme

Okay, so hear me out, but I’m gonna start by giving a big thank you to @doubleappled​ for this one. You said you were tagging anyone who hadn’t gotten around to doing this yet, and I happen to be one of those, so I took that message to heart. Haha! I’d secretly been wanting someone to tag me in this for awhile, but it hadn’t happened yet, and I finally decided fuck it, I’m just gonna do it myself. I’ve not written in months because of this weird illness I’ve been dealing with, and I’ve been wanting to go through my WIP to kind of...try to get myself back into it? So here goes.

The Rules: Post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous.

Now here’s another thing. I don’t have a single WIP folder. I have MANY, all split up into different categories. So I’m gonna list them as such.

Harry Potter

(Untitled Broship 01) and (02) - some dumb Draco & Pansy ideas I had like three years ago

(Untitled Krumwood) - What it says on the tin. I think I was gonna do this for some comment kink type fest awhile ago and just....never....did???

Pride - back when I used to be obsessed with Oliver/Draco. x’D I was planning on incorporating some Ginsy as well. Basically, I’d gotten super inspired by a picture similar to this one (can’t find the original now), and fell in love with idea of them hooking up at a wizarding pride parade, covered in rainbow paint/chalk/whatever.

Harry Potter > Requests

Jersey - So you all know, I name any request type WIP docs after the requester. Just a way to help me remember. Anyway, this is for my Draise fake dating fic The Wedding Date, which I’d originally started writing..........a year and a half ago..........for the amazing Jersey’s (aka @kevinsnowday​) bday in 2017. I managed to post chapter one on her bday just fine, and then......never.....got around.....to the rest........Sorry, boo. ^^’ I really, really want to get back to this one eventually.

Harry Potter > Requests > Gay!Draco Challenge > Round 2

kreeblimsabs - Another really old one I want to get back to, my god.....I got this request a fucking year ago this very week, I think........This was from, as the folder names say, round two of my Gay!Draco Challenge. kreeblimsabs (who I’m not sure if they’re still on Tumblr, it won’t let me tag them for some reason) requested I write them a Dron drabble inspired by my favorite Disney song. Well, I’m gonna tell you all now...my favorite Disney song happens to be Hellfire from Hunchback of Notre Dame. So yeah. Haha! The ONLY reason I haven’t written this yet is because that’s such a dark and iconic song, that I wanted to do it when the mood really struck me, which unfortunately hasn’t happened yet. Hopefully someday!

Harry Potter > A Weasel and His Ferret (my Dron exclusive folder ‘cause I’m obsessed, get it? Haha! x’DDD)

(Unnamed Dron 01), (02), (03), and (04) - some random little snippets I always keep around, either to throw into another fic at some point, or to build up into their own

An Unconventional Marriage - GUYS, listen! LISTEN. I have been wanting to write this idea for YEEEAAARRRSSSS. YEARS I TELL YOU!! I think I was still in fucking college when I came up with this, and I’ve never been able to work it out. This is my idea for a Drastoria fake marriage type deal, where they’re the bestest of best friends who decide they’re gonna play the game both their families want by marrying each other, but they’re gonna stay just friends...while fucking whoever they hell they want on the down low. Obviously culminating in Dron on the Draco side of it. I want it. I need it. I CRAVE IT. I hope I actually do it someday.

Because Blaise Zabini Is An Asshole - inspired by this Tumblr post

Chocolate and Sass - A quick little oneshot idea of them meeting as little little kids, no prejudice between them, sharing a chocolate frog. Cut to them fucking, drunk on chocolate liquor as adults. Yeah. I know. But I thought it’d be fun.

I Want To Warm Her Heart - Inspired by one of my favorite White Stripes songs, I Want to be the Boy to Warm your Mother’s Heart, which has always made me think of Dron. Ron’s experiences with a very...icy (*cough*homophobic*cough*) Narcissa over the course of his relationship with Draco.

Like Fathers, Like Sons - A mid hook up Ron and Draco (post divorce, no infidelity here) walking in on a mid hook up Scorpius and Hugo.

Support - Oh my god, you guys, this one is annnnnciiiieeennnttt. I’m pretty sure I started writing it directly after my very first fic posted to AO3, like holy shit. The title is a redemption for me on a fic I wrote at 15 (which still exists on FFN, and also just so happened to be a Dron as well, but please don’t bother looking it up, haha). Lucius was assassinated in Azkaban post-war, and there’s a death threat out on Draco. Auror!Ron is assigned as his body guard during the weeks surrounding the investigation and his father’s funeral.

The Measure Of It All - a crack fic about Ron’s huge cock

TLC - Equally as ancient. Draco’s a masseuse. Ron goes to get a massage, surprised to discover who it’s with. Smut ensues. Enough said.

What Happens In Muggle London - sequel to my fic What Happens In The Forbidden Forest, in which eighth year sneaking out to go clubbing in - you guessed it - Muggle London fuckery ensues

A Match Made In Hogwarts - a multi chapter post-war matchmaker will-they-won’t-they

A Very Fine Line - the second thing I ever posted to AO3, and will probably never finish

Keeping The Faith - That time I really wanted to do a wizarding version of Jones Town.......Don’t look at me........

One Week - I remember nothing of this other than that they were going to be Auror partners, and it was going to be a challenge to myself to see how many cliches I could fit into one fic. Haha.

Switching Sides - What if Draco ended up defecting and becoming a part of the Camping Extravaganza of Deathly Hallows.........Yuuuuup.

Wishful Thinking - Can you believe I’d at one time planned on adding three more chapters to this fic? Yeah, me neither...

19 Days

(Untitled ChengYi) - Yeah, I don’t know either.

It’s Exactly What You Think - sequel to my fic It’s Not What You Think, in which I’d intended for some actual Tianshan to happen

Who I’ve Been Waiting For - I’m so out of the loop with writing for this fandom these days, I don’t fucking know...All I remember is this is supposed to be when they’re adults and Jian Yi returns. Zhengxi’s been hooking up with He Tian in the meantime. They were gonna turn into a poly thing at some point. I don’t fucking know, you guys.

Batman

(Untitled Jaydick) - What it says on the tin. Post Arkham Knight angst, reuniting, and smut.

JTHM (Johnny the Homicidal Maniac)

You Make Me Sick -  Yooouuuuu guuuuyyyyysssssss!! You have no idea how badly I want to write thiiiiiisssssssss!!!! WHERE MY DISCIPLINE AT, LIKE GODDAMN. The title is a play on the Devi spin off comic, I Feel Sick. (I hope you JTHM fans out there got that, ‘cause I’m super proud of it, haha.) IF I EVER FUCKING WRITE IT, this is gonna be a Nny/Squee, but....not really. ;) Basically, the idea is that Squee kind of....discovered his sexuality? Because of Nny??? And grew into a very gay, very pain centric, confused young adult with a major crush on his old next door neighbor. Has had numerous torrid love affairs because of this that never ever ended well. It’ll start with him seeing Nny for the first time again in, like, twenty years and going into a spiral over it.

South Park

The Walking Conformists - GUUUYYYYSSSSS. Sorry to keep “guys”ing you, haha, but this. THIIIIISSSSSSSSSS. If i ever buckle down and WRITE THIS BITCH, I swear it’ll be my holy fucking grail. At least to me. CuRed. Goth kids. Road trips. Zombies. What more could you want?! I’m happy to discuss privately with any one of you who’s interested, because it’s way too much to put here, and this post is long enough as it is.

What We’ve Got - sequel to my fic What We Can’t Have

(Rockstar!Michael) - What it says on the tin. CuRed, obviously.

(Untitled Religious Boys) - Bradley/Gary Harrison. Sexual discovery. Yaaassss.

Everybody Knows - CuRed where everybody thinks they’re already dating, and of course I mean everybody knows they’re meant for each other but Michael and Pete ;)

Nobody Needs To Know - Another old as fuck WIP inspired by the SADDEST SONG IN THE WORLD from the musical The Last Five Years. If you know anything about that musical and this song, you can guess what this fic would be about. Michael cheating on Pete with Firkle. Adults all! No chan here, bitches, you know me, c’mon.

The First Step - CuRed. Holding hands on the school bus. Will be the purest thing I’ve ever written if I ever finish it. It’s a drabble, and I swear to you it’s, like, two paragraphs from being done, and I’ve just never gotten down to it.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT, I have a lot of WIP...Don’t have anything in my Fests/Challenges folders at the moment, because it’s, uh, been awhile, heh heh.

I’m gonna tag my love, @violetbehaviour​, because I think we’re the only two left who haven’t been tagged for this. xD But if any of you reading this are like me, and haven’t been tagged yet but really really want to be, please consider this me tagging you!

[tapdancinglorax]

A Rant

Ohhhhhhh I love how phantis go "you fetishizing str8 girls just want everything to be all 'real life yaoi' don't you" even though the phandom is so diverse and most phannies I've met aren't straight.

Can we please stop the shipping = fetishizing narrative because it just furthers hetreonormativity by making any gay relationship seen cute by anyone "unacceptable" and furthers the idea you can't see gay and straight relationships as equal. Straight relationships are acceptable to ship no matter what but shipping something gay will get you called a "fetishizing idiot" and that's not ok. It furthers the idea straight relationships are somehow less problematic than gay ones.

We don't want it to be "real life yaoi." I fucking hate yaoi. It over sexualizes gay men for the enjoyment of straight girls, forced hetreonormativity onto gay men, and is often abusive. I don't ship it because I think it's "hot" I ship it because I can see two men who genuinely love and care for each other and I think that's beautiful.

We all know if one of them was a girl there wouldn't be these conversations going on. But they may have also been openly together from the start. Another thing phantis don't seem to understand (probably cause they haven't ever dealt with it) is coming out is fucking hard. It takes me months sometimes to come out to people who I know will take it well. Coming out to my family- it'll be years. The entire internet? Where anyone in the world can know I'm LGBTQIA? Even the people who would kill me or beat me or rape me to "fix me." I don't think I could do it. So yes, they aren't out, but also, that's a fucking terrifying thought, being out, and I know Dan at the very least plays that through his head all the time. Hes starting a journey of being out and more open and I'm giving a shit ton of applause. That's hard as hell. Hes screaming "Hey I'm LGBT" to what's potentially 7 billion people and that's fucking metal as hell. He doesn't know how those 7 billion people think. He can't control them. But he's braving it for the chance he'll help his fans or others and to be an open person who can give the people what they want.

Maybe phan is real and maybe it isn't. But either way it's not ok to be an asshole to people who just have an opinion on the topic. And it's not ok to actually bully people online. You can't send death threats and be an asshole to Phantis. But Phantis have to do that to. Stop calling all shippers "fetishizing yaoi loving straight girls" and stop calling them delusional or naive. I'm not fucking naive. I've stared death in the motherfucking face several times. I know what's happening in the world and that's hard as hell. So stop making fun of me for using Dan and Phil as an escape from the fact I was huddled under a table telling my friends I loved them in case I died, carefully calculating how easy it would be to shoot me, missing the girl I loved because I chose today to go to the late lunch with my other group of friends and if she dies and I never get to tell her- or if I die- I'll never forgive myself. I don't have a lot of escapes. I can't because I can't really enjoy two things at once because my brain has to fucking hyperobsess over minute little things. And yet I've somehow had Phan through it all though. Even when I'm sobbing I can open up this stupid app and read a silly fic about Dan and Phil washing dishes and I can smile again.

People love in this fanbase and I'm so glad of that. But we're big, and that means our 1 percent is big too. And it's on both ends- the one percent is. The Demons and the Phantis. Both are bad, but in different ways. The Demons stalk Dan and Phil to prove they're gay (hint hint, if anyone's fetishizing, it's these asses) and are the ones who refuse to admit they might be just friends. I've seen Demons harass non shippers, but not near as much as I've seen Phantis harass shippers. Phantis do the same shit. They twist everything to be heteronormative and fit the idea that Dan and Phil are best buds. They refuse to admit they could be a couple. They in turn ridicule and harass shippers who ask simple things, like why they think that, by mocking them and telling them they aren't mature and grown up. I've seen Phantis asked to keep the hateful comments they make about shippers out of the phan tag to which they respond, "i don't care how you feel I'm going to do what I want because it's the internet and I have rights" but then insist that shipping on the internet is harmful and it's not ok, even thought that argument you just made about why you can be an ass can be turned on it's head and used against you.

99% of shippers would never take it off the internet, because shockingly they love Dan and Phil for who they are and don't care about Phan as much as Phantis make them out to. If Dan and Phil randomly dropped a video talking about they're signifigant others joe and sue I'd congratulate them, support then 100%, and stop shipping. Because I love Dan and Phil. They've gotten me through a lot. They haven't done that, though.

They haven't explicitly ever said to stop shipping. Hell, Cornelia, Martyn's girlfriend, asked for the link to a phanfic KNOWING IT WAS A PHANFIC. They don't really seem to care or they'd tell us to stop. They wouldn't be posting "Phil's Sugar Baby" as Dan's Alternative Job if YouTube Crashes at II.

Ultimately, I'm just mad shipping two men becomes fetishizing because it's two men being shipped. That's homophobic. If they were if the opposite sex (this is in general) it wouldn't be fetishizing- it would be problematic at worst. PROBLEMATIC is much less aggressive and bad sounding than FETISHIZING. Problematic makes you think it's a split ship, 45% like, 45% don't, 10% don't care. Fetishizing makes you think your making this ship into your kink, that you don't care about the ship for anything but their sex life. And yes, people fetishize, but it's actually a thousand times worse with lesbians. Lesbians are mostly played off in movies as sexy to men. That's fetishizing. Thinking two men (or women) make (or would make) a cute couple isn't fetishizing. But I never see people yell about fetishizing straight relationships- it's simply problematic. I'll see people shipping brothers and sisters and yet that gets a nicer title than two unrelated men. I hate that.

Phantis- one more thing. You so often argue that Dan and Phil are straight because they don't yell their sexualities for the world. 1) read the above about how the internet can influence people's view of you. 2) They've stated they're bi but don't like labels at one point or another. Implying that to be LGBT you have to keep us all updated on your sexuality isn't ok. Implying not saying "I'm gay, ok" once a year makes you straight is fucking homophobic. If they don't like fucking labels than let's not label them BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE THEM STRAIGHT. People can take pride in who they are and dance about in tutus at pride parades, but some people want to keep that in. In their families, in their friend groups, maybe just in them. That's ok. People have a right to privacy, and to imply they're any less LGBTQIA because of that is homophobic. Why? Two reasons. One, it's implying all LGBTQIA people have that privilege and want to flaunt their identities to the world, and have constantly talk about it. Two, you're saying to be a gay or trans or bi person you have to tell the world and fuck that. We can take pride in that we can be who we are, but we also shouldn't be told we have to flaunt it to be LGBT because straight people don't have to do that. They get to walk by and be presumed to be who they are because they have that privilege. That's not fair. That's heteronormative and I really want it to stop. But first we need to stop saying if you haven't said what you are your straight. That's not fair. To closeted people, and to people who don't feel like being flamboyant, and to people who dont want death threats over their sexuality because theyre in the public eye. It's ok to not want to scream about it.

Bottom line- don't be an asshole. Don't make fun of others. Shippers aren't inherently fetishizing. Don't invade others privacy. Don't presume people are straight. Phan may or may not be real and it doesn't really matter because we'll love them no matter what. And- once more for good measure- DON'T BE AN ASSHOLE.

[stimmyvillainarchive]

WHY does the android app gotta suck so much, when i click the faq link it just like refreshes the page,,,, this happens with all links in bios on the andoird app :[

NNNN lovin this broke ass app.

I’mma go ahead and paste the FAQ just under the cut, hopefully you should be able to read it now :’))

(FAQ is written by Mod Joker)

“Are requests open?”

We get this ask a lot. And while I don’t mind answering, it does get a lilll annoying sometimes since we’re essentially repeating ourselves constantly. Before you ask, please check our ask box! It will ALWAYS give our request status!

From now on if we receive requests when they’re closed, we’re going to delete the message entirely. You’re free to ask again when they’re open, but we need breaks!

“Can allistic/neurotypical people follow?”

Yes! So long as you’re respectful of stimming and understand it’s not an aesthetic or something to make fun of.

“It says there’s two mods, but I only really see Mod Joker post.”

There is! But Mod Boo is rather, well, shy. We both are, tbh. I’ve just gotten used to talking a lot on this blog. And to tell ya the truth I invited her to mod this with me because she considered making a blog but wasn’t sure how she’d do it, and was worried she’d be too awkward/quiet. But she actually tends to see your messages a lot! She just tends to let me handle things. But if you ever wanna talk to her, just say the message is specifically for her and I’m sure she’ll get back to you. She’s very friendly and tbh one of the best people to talk to!!

“How do you make gifs?”

I use the same method stimmybby uses! His tutorial’s right here!

“How do you make banners?”

I use photoshop and for backgrounds (depending on what type of background), I use paint tool SAI. I made a tutorial on how I do it here!

“Can we use your banners for posts that aren’t stim related?”

Absolutely! So long as credit is given and you’re not in our dni, then use it as you like! Discourse posts, art, vent posts, promo posts, whatever floats your boat!

“Can I use your gif/s?”

As long as there’s credit to us for the gif/s and you don’t apply to our dni, you’re free to!

“How can I credit you?”

There’s a few ways! Such as

- Including the credit in the post and/or under the cut (this is the best way people can access the original post and see the credit!

- Include the credit in the post’s captions

- Include the credit in the tags

- Include a link in the post to another post that has the credits in it

- Saying you got the gif/s from us in the post

“What are bad/wrong ways to ”“credit”“ you?”

- Saying “I don’t own these gifs”

- Saying “credit to the original owner(s)/gifmaker(s)

- Straight up not saying you took these gifs from people/including in no credits

- Claiming the gif/s are yours/you made them

If I see any of these I WILL publicly call you out on it and you WILL be blocked immediately thereafter. That block will not be lifted.

“What does REG mean?”

Reactionary Exclusionary Gatekeeper. Meaning people who try to exclude certain queer people from queer spaces. Such a biphobes, transphobes, aphobes, panphobes, and so on.

“What does TERF mean?”

Trans/Transgender Exclusionary Radical Feminist. Meaning radfems who are transphobic and are violent towards trans people (especially trans women).

“What does SWERF mean?”

Sex Worker Exclusionary Radical Feminist. They’re radfems who try to exclude sex worker from their feminism and often treat women attracted to men as less worthy.

“What’s the ADT community?”

ADT stands for “Actually Dysphoric Trans/Transgender” and was created by transmedicalists/truscum to break off from the trans community. It’s an insult to the trans community, an insult to the creator of the transgender pride flag (it’s removed the white that was there for people who ID as non-binary/outside the gender binary), and is there purely to start drama and create rifts in a community that’s already got enough enemies for simply existing in a transphobic world

“He/Him lesbians don’t exist/they’re transphobic towards trans men”

As a trans man who doesn’t think the world revolves around me and who understands that what lesbians decide to do it literally none of my goddamn business: get the fuck over yourself you whiny pissbaby

“What do you mean by people in the true crime community?”

People who sexualize, romanticize, excuse, and/or support serial killers and their actions/crimes. This doesn’t include people who are INTERESTED in the topic of crimes, serial killers, etc but acknowledging how these people are disgusting and their actions are unforgivable.

“Why are you anti-cgl?”

Cause we hate pedophiles and are decent human beings.

“You’re bigoted to kinksters just like homophobes are bigoted to gay people!”

I hate to break it to ya bud but I’m proudly kinkphobic and you’re a giant homophobe!!

“I’m a SFW cgl(re)/littlespace blog so I’m following/interacting uwu”

No the fuck you aren’t!! You’re a kink blog, there’s no such thing as a “sfw kink” even if you’re remaining two braincells are too busy fighting over the last pacifier to tell you some fuckin common sense. Your ass is getting blocked and I’ll also be using your blog to take a look at the people you interact and block them too just for safe measure! Eat a cactus, fuck nugget

“You hate lesbians if you hate TERFs”

You owe every lesbian an apology for assuming they’re all mysogynistic, LGBT+phobic pieces of horseshit like you are. Eat a dick.

“aces/aros aren’t LGBT uwu”

Wow… that’s so wrong Alexa play Fuck You by Lily Allen

“Me/Someone I know/(insert user/s) has been blocked. Why?”

There can be a number of reasons why you’re blocked, and I’m not afraid to block people as I want this place comfortable and safe for the mods and followers. So there’s several reasons as to why.

- You apply to our DNI (see BYF)

- You’re a (insert harmless children’s cartoon) critical blog (I tend to block those due to them saying LGBT+phobic things)

- You get into kin drama

- You’re an ace discourse, pan discourse, bi discourse, and/or overall REG discourse blog (this does not mean I block inherently block discourse blogs! I block the shitty ones)

- You’re a spam/porn/etc bot (if I’ve gotten this wrong, lemme know! I tend to block shady and empty blogs for this reason unless their desc/url/etc says it’s empty/weird for a reason)

- You’re a blog that frequently posts/centers around one or more of my triggers

- You’re an aesthetic blog (though I tend to soft block for them. But this is NOT an aesthetic blog and stimmy is NOT an aesthetic)

- You’re an “anyone can interact” stim blog

- You’re a stim blog that steals/doesn’t credit the gifs they use

- I feel you and I are going to argue and I’m just saving us the trouble of future unpleasant encounter/s

- You’ve been shitty to my friends or just been shitty to people in general and I’ve noticed it

HOWEVER I’ve made slip ups in the past! If you feel you don’t apply to any of these, you can contact me through my main and ask why. Sometimes I don’t always remember why I blocked somebody (sadly there’s a lot of shitheads on this site I’ve needed to block) or I’ve confused one blog for another person’s blog. Or maybe the person was more chill than I thought. Please contact me yourself rather than ask somebody else to do it though so I can get all the details! Even if I don’t lift the block, I won’t report you for block evading or anything.

“You used to be kidheart friendly and now you’re not, why’s that?”

Sadly, Raven (the creator of Kidhearts) has proven to be a bully sympathizer and feels it’s okay to compare agere to kinks/cgl and sides with regressionuncensored. She condones bullying/harassment/the sexualization of minors and I am not nor will ever be okay with that.

“But Raven sai-”

I don’t care what she says. She made it abundantly clear that she supports regressionuncensored and I don’t care that it came back to bite her in the ass. Bullies deserve no support, no sympathy, no nothing. And if you side with her than don’t come near this blog. This is agere safe and I will not allow people who support sexualizing it to interact. Kidhearts WILL be blocked on the spot, no questions asked.

“I’ve left a community on the dni list, can I follow/interact?”

Yes!

“Why are you anti-(insert thing on blacklist here)?”

Camp Camp: It’s racist + antisemitic

Dragon Maid: It’s pedophilic

Killing Stalking: It’s homophobic, ableist, sexist, perpetuates rape culture, and fetishizes abuse

Your Lie in April: It romanticizes child abuse and it literally starts off with a gross pedo joke when we meet the love interest in episode one

Split: It’s ableist

Hetalia: It’s antisemitic

Harry Potter/J.K. Rowling’s works: Actually there’s nothing inherently bad about the story. I just don’t like it. HOWEVER: I can’t stand J.K. Rowling as she’s a TERF/overall LGBT+phobe, and racist. So none of her creations will be featured here.

Sonic Boom: Nothing inherently problematic. I just can’t stand the show because it just fuckin sucks

13 Reasons Why: It romanticizes suicide and the creators refused to listen to actual mental health experts and have made the show potentially dangerous to anyone who even slightly deals with suicidal thoughts/urges

Detroit Become Human: It’s racist + antisemitic

Voltron: Legendary Defender: It queerbaits/it’s LGBT+phobic

“REG is a transphobic term”

I, Mod Joker, am trans. Try again.

“A-specs aren’t LG-”

*buzzer sound* wrong. So sad for you

“You’re not LGBT+ because you DARED disagree with me because you actually acknowledged that tumblr didn’t credit the community sweaty uwu”

We get this shit because a lot of you assume I’m ace or at the very least a-spec. And… Ya couldn’t be far from it. I’m a pan, genderfluid trans man. Even with all your gatekeeper (sorry, BULLSHIT) logic; I’d still be attracted to multiple genders and not be cis. I’m p queer. So no matter which way you slice it, I’m part of LGBT+. Die mad about it.

“You’re comparing aphobes to TERFs and SWERFs you fucking transphobe!”

Wow I didn’t realize setting boundaries meant that I viewed y'all in the EXACT same light. I’m so glad I have the lovely aphobes that have told my friends that they should kill themselves to set me straight.

Asking people not to interact doesn’t inherently mean I think they’re the EXACT same thing.

“Mod Joker is a gif-thief and reposts people’s content without properly crediting them!”

I have made this entire post explaining that’s wrong. Idrc if the post is too lengthy for you. Don’t talk shit if you don’t even have all the details.

Additionally, if you send me somethin about this in a negative light I’m IP blocking you. One strike and you’re out. If you want to believe people with false info and false accusations then that’s your baggage. Not mine.

HOWEVER if I’ve accidentally mis-credited, forgot to/messed up on crediting a person for their gif/video, or so on let me know! I’ll make mistakes, but I never do it intentionally.

[softlydaydreaming]

Rules

Do Not Interact

Basically if you meet the usual dni material:

If you’re ddlg/nsfw/kink/cgl(re) (this includes sfw ddlg/cgl(re))

A terf/swerf/homophobic/aphobic/

racist/antisemitic

A map/nomap/supporter of any of this

Even if your blog is “sfw” I don’t want you interacting, just don’t

If you age regress only for coping reasons/mental health, it’s fine. But only that, if it’s even a smidge nsfw or ddlg please don’t interact.

General

I’m fine with people who are kin and stuff requesting things, this is completely a kin friendly blog

This is a discourse free zone. So I won’t post any negativity. I want this blog to be a positive, happy place. And please be kind to one another as well!

I accept fandom related aesthetic requests, so please send them in! You can find the fandoms I’m in under “da rules” tag.

I do accept requests for ships, however, I will ask that all people in the ship are of age, or around the same age. This means no student/teacher relationships or adult/teen/kid stuff. I also ask that the ships are not incest.

Feel free to send asks in that are just to chat! I’d love to chat with you all! Feel free to recommend stuff for me to read/watch as well!

Posting may be a bit slow during the school year because I’m a college student who’s on an academic scholarship my grades are my most important thing.

Do not interact or request if your ddlg, etc

No drv3/ndrv3 spoilers, please! I haven’t finished the game yet (as I’m playing through it with my brother, so we’re taking our time).

I won’t take requests involving drugs/drug abuse, just cause those topics make me a bit uncomfortable.

I won’t take requests involving certain characters/questions. Please look at the Banned Questions/Characters section before requesting if you think your request may violate it.

I have the right to turn away any request, please respect that. If I warn you that your request is against the rules, and you send in a similar request, you will be blocked.

Aesthetic and Moodboard

Please be specific as possible

I definitely will do ship requests

It doesn’t have to be fandom or kin related, but it can be as well! You can request any type of aesthetic or moodboard

Pride aesthetics/moodboards are open for Pride month!

Icons

Please be specific

I will do icons for ships and kin as well!

I’m also open to doing icons that aren’t fandom related

Also, pride icons are open as long as icon requests are open!

Sprite Edits

I will do edits for Fire Emblem, Danganronpa, and the Fate Series

These requests will take the longest, so please be patient. The more complex the request, the longer it is going to take.

I’m open to doing expression edits, color/palette swaps, talent swaps, and other edits

I’m new to the sprite editing scene so they may not be 100% perfect, but please be patient with me as I learn!

Tarot Readings

If your inquiry is about love or general relationships, please include your sun sign, the sun sign of who you’re inquiring about, or their initials

Please specify the type of reading you want. I can do a general one card reading or a past/present/future reading.

If your request is kin related, please keep in mind that you know best!

Remember that in general, these readings are not set in stone, they cannot predict the future. Your decisions are what control your path, these are just for guidance.

Pendulum Readings

I use a pendulum board from @/infinitethreads

Please keep pendulum readings to yes/no questions

Remember that you know best! These readings are just for guidance. Only you can forge your future.

My pendulum’s name is AZ, so if you see “AZ/Az gave me a...” that is who I am referring to!

Also remember that I am not a relationship expert, and neither is my pendulum. If you’re having relationship issues, please talk to your partner, not me. A pendulum reading is not a solution to these issues, verbal communication and trust are.

You may get answers that you don’t like, but remember that a pendulum is not always accurate.

Emoji Spells

Please tell me what you’d like the spell for

Please remember that likes charge the spell and reblogs cast it.

Self Care Kits

These kits are for kin and non kin! And if you want to base your kit around a character please include it in the request.

Include the currency you want to use. If it’s not included I’m just going to use USD, as that’s the currency I use.

Include what things you’d like in the kit. It can be anything from character merch to squishies, or anything that makes you happy!

Tell me if you don’t want certain things as well, like things that make you uncomfortable.

If you want a price limit, please tell me that as well!

Canon Calls

Please include your source in your canon call!

Please include if you’re a minor or an adult (actual age isn’t necessary, but please include which you are)

Include the ages your comfortable with (this is optional)

If you canon call on anon, please tell the people you're looking for how to contact you (such as discord [with your discord], a blog, or by liking/reblogging the post)

No hate will be tolerated! Meaning, please do not include double hate! If your ask includes this, it will be deleted.

Please include as much detail as possible.

You can also submit these if you feel that it would be better.

Banned Questions/Characters

I will not answer requests with these questions/characters because they make me uncomfortable, and I believe I’m setting up a false expectation that may never happen. If you send in a request with any of this, know that it will be promptly deleted.

Pendulum and tarot requests containing the following questions, or any variations of them, are banned:

Does x like/love me?/Will x ever love me?

Are x and I soul mates/twin flames/meant to be?

Will x and I/y stay together forever/last?

Does x still think about me/still want me?

Is x cheating on me?

Will x break up with y?

Is x falling in love with me?

Will x and I ever date (again)?

I will not answer requests containing the following characters, as they make me uncomfortable:

Endeavor (bnha)

Mineta (bnha)

[freedom-of-fanfic]

I can't for the life of me understand the weird overlap between ace discoursers and kink discoursers on Tumblr. It makes sense with homophobic Christians, but not on a place like Tumblr fandom. How do discoursers put these together, rhetorical styles aside?

What a good question.  Let me see if I can explain my understanding of this in less than a 10K-word essay for once.

A one-sentence summary of the overlap would be kinky people and ace people are both seen as invaders of LGBT spaces. (I’ll be using ‘LGBT’ as opposed to ‘LGBT+/queer’ to refer to non-straight/non-cis spaces that exclude people who identify as queer.)

This concept that kink communities and ace people are suddenly trying to get in on the LGBT fun is ahistorical.  Having a kink doesn’t make you queer, but kink communities have long been a haven for LGBT+/queer people and have many non-straight/non-cis people in their clubs, bars, and communities. they provide good spaces for questioning people to explore their sexual/romantic interests.  And ace people, frequently identifying themselves as bisexual as the ace identity was so invisible, have long been part of LGBT+/queer communities. 

However, this is how exclusionists perceive them. They see kinky people and ace people as kind of like flip sides of a coin, so the talking points for each group are strikingly similar:

kinky people & ace/aro people don’t experience social stigma or harm for being kinky/ace. ‘nobody cares about your sex life,’ exclusionists scoff, while simultaneously caring a lot about their sex lives. (This is predicated on misunderstanding ace identities as being synonymous with celibacy or sex-repulsion. In reality, asexuality is simply not experiencing sexual attraction to others.) In reality, both kinky people and ace/aro people experience lots of social stigma, and ace people are sometimes singled out for harm because of their identity.

kinky people & ace/aro people can both be ‘cishet’, so they do not belong in LGBT spaces. kinky people may be only attracted to the ‘opposite’ gender & identify with their birth-designated sex & gender. ace people may be only romantically interested in people of the ‘opposite’ gender and identify with their birth-designated sex & gender. Because some ace/kinky people are like this, all kinky people and all ace people are either outright excluded or carefully screened for the proper qualifications to be LGBT.

kink communities and ace/aro communities create alternative spaces where ‘real’ LGBT people are encouraged to deny their true identity.  to ensure LGBT people are forced to come to terms with their true identity, the communities they hide in must be kept distinct from LGBT spaces. This is ironic because kinky spaces have long provided a space for questioning people to explore non-straight or non-cis experiences without being forced to immediately ‘choose a side’, and ace communities are frequently very encouraging of people to move in and out of the identity as they discover themselves.

the fresh rise of purity culture in the US through a combination of factors causing ’abnormal’ sexual acts and ’abnormal’ sexual desire to be perceived as  forbidden, scary, and dirty in a way it wasn’t for a decade or two has had its own weird part to play in this. (Though ‘abnormal’ no longer always includes monogamous cis mlm and wlw the way it used to.) the tl;dr version is ace people are overly prudish and kinky people are overly sexual rather than staying between the Acceptable Sexual Interests/Displays boundaries.

sexual myth 1: ace/aros think LGBT people are disgusting for wanting sexual relationships but want to be in the LGBT Cool Club anyway. through a combination of factors including but not limited to misunderstandings of what asexuality is, some ace people making bigoted or unthinking statements that have been virally spread, and the pure/prude dichotomy of being perceived as sexually abstinent (sex is dirty, but not wanting sex is inhuman), ace-identifying people have a reputation for looking down on and disdaining LGBT people for being ‘dirty allos’ while simultaneously wanting in on the ‘special’ status of LGBT circles. This is a weirdly self-contradictory myth - why would you want to be part of a community with people you despise? - but there you are.

sexual myth 2: suggesting a minor may be asexual is inappropriately sexualizing them. asexuality is the realization of an absence of sexual desire, which can make it hard to identify. some people argue that implying a minor can identify as asexual is inappropriate. Minors aren’t yet sexually aware enough of themselves to make that assessment. If a minor thinks they might be asexual, it’s more likely they just haven’t matured enough to have sexual interest.  In reality, a minor might already know - and if not, they are always free to identify differently later.

sexual myth 3: kink communities are entirely made up of sexual abusers and their self-deluded prey. In this reductive and mistaken view, all kinky relationships are abusive. clg and ddlg are indistinguishable from csa, bdsm is physical abuse, pet play is beastiality … and you’ve exhausted the concepts of ‘kink’ that most anti-kink people have. LGBT circles aren’t safe spaces for these abusers!  But in reality kink is much more broad than these circles and when handled and negotiated correctly, clg/ddlg/bdsm/etc are enjoyable and safe for all participants.

sexual myth 4: public LGBT+/queer demonstrations, parades, etc should always be child-friendly/safe spaces, so kink is unwelcome. ace/aro people are too prudish for LGBT communities, but kinky people are too flamboyant. the example I see over and over again is ‘imagine a kid going to a pride parade and seeing a guy on a leash and collar crawling around on all fours. How will you explain that to them!?’ This shows some severe lack of awareness of how nsfw Pride demonstrations could once get!  But when you take away the alarmist ‘think of the children!’ language, it’s clearly a game of respectability politics - specifically, Pride making itself respectable to the straight, cis(, non-kinky) majority. A kinky mlm couple - while gay, and clearly LGBT - would not find it is acceptable to be kinky in a public Pride space anymore because the image of Pride has cleaned up. 

All this care about how sexuality is expressed in LGBT+/queer spaces is because in its most mainstream form, Pride is no longer presented as counter-culture. Pride displays are more often aimed at ‘we’re just like you [cishets]!’ acceptability now, rather than the sometimes vulgar displays demanding recognition that they exist (and aren’t going away).

(This is also why shedding the ‘queer’ label is important. ‘Queer’ has come to represent ‘people who aren’t straight and/or cis, but also aren’t necessarily fitting any label.’ These are mostly people still struggling against invisibility, being counter-culture to keep from fading from existence - but they’re not helping the respectability angle too much.)

long story short, both kinky people and ace people are socially unacceptable to LGBT exclusionary groups for mirroring reasons, resulting in vetting practices that harm questioning people and purity demands that weirdly echo … well, homophobic Christians.

(All that to get right back where we started.)