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#or am I just talking to myself down here?
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devotion. l General Marcus Acacius
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Summary:  he returned to Rome in glory, he returned to you
Warnings:  smut, angst, unprotected sex (don't do it!), fingering, mention of pregnancy, a few nasty words
A/N: that was a quick shot. i hope you'll be gentle with me. your feedback is very important to me and I thank you for all the reblogs, comments and likes. 🖤 sorry for all the mistakes
You saw perfectly how his brown eyes widened when he saw you in the crowd of guests in the Emperor's palace. The golden wreath on his curly dark hair, the sun-kissed body dressed in white and gold - he looked like one of the Gods you could worship in a temple. 
And wasn't he one of them? One of those legendary heroes? The one who brought glory to the Roman Empire. One of your Emperor's favorites.
Wasn't he the man you had loved for so long?
When he crossed the threshold of your home late in the evening, you could finally fall into each other's arms. In that moment, he was your Marcus, the man you loved more than life, to whom you had promised loyalty, to whom you had promised eternal devotion and faithfulness.
His warm, plush lips crushed against yours in a kiss full of longing and love that you had to keep so far from each other. Strong arms wrapped around you like vines, but you clung to him with your whole body, yearning for his closeness so much.
"Almost four years..." he sighed as he rested his forehead against yours "I counted every day, my love. And every day was unimaginable torture."
Your hand stroked his bearded cheek "I knew you would return. The Gods promised to give you back to me, and here you are. Safe and sound." Your fingers tenderly stroked the scar on his cheek, slipping into his hair interwoven with silver threads "I can't believe you're finally here."
Marcus' hands tightened around your waist "Tell me you're not just a beautiful dream..."
"I'm here, my love." You whispered, tenderly touching his lips "All yours." He pressed his lips to yours as if he had to make sure that you weren't a dream, laughing, you pulled away from him slightly "Marcus, we need to talk, so much has happened..."
"We have the whole next day, our whole lives for this. Please... Let's not talk tonight. I want to love you, adore you, caress your body." He sounded like a man possessed, hungry for your body "I need to remind myself of every curve of your body. I want to taste you and immerse myself in your sweetness. I beg you, my beloved..."
You couldn't refuse him, you didn't want to. The dream of the warmth and closeness of his body had haunted you almost since he left for that cursed war. You couldn't wait any longer.
The heavy door of your chamber closed, and after a moment you were both taking off your robes. Hands craving a familiar touch, lips searching for each other. Hot lips wandered around your neck when you felt the cool sheet under your fingers. Marcus raised himself on his shoulders, his dark as night eyes roaming your body.
"Give me a moment..." he said as you tried to pull him closer to you. "You're more beautiful than I remember you."
You laughed quietly, a little embarrassed by his confession. "I'm definitely older."
"As am I. But to me you'll always be equal to the goddesses."
"Don't say that, Marcus. Don't incur the wrath of the Gods, they can be jealous."
A mocking smile appeared on his face. "I'm not afraid! The earth could open up beneath me and swallow me alive, but I won't stop repeating it. You are a goddess, my love. I dedicate my life to serving you. Only you."
"Then do it. Use your body and all your strength to do it."
You didn't have to repeat it twice. Your lips connected again in a strong and deep kiss. His tongue invaded between your lips, extracting from you those sweet moans that returned to him during sleepless nights. 
His hard cock rested on your thigh, and you felt excitement and fear, it had been so long since you felt him inside but  you wanted him so much.
Marcus' lips slid down to your sternum, then your breast. He kissed it and bit it lightly, despite the time he still remembered everything that made your body tremble. When the nipple disappeared in his mouth you felt your walls tighten slightly, giving you a signal that you couldn't wait any longer. But it was Marcus who dominated you, doing whatever he wanted with your body.
When his long fingers moved over your slippery folds you moaned shamelessly.
"So thirsty..." he whispered, his lips brushing your belly "Let me prepare you first, love. Let me..." two fingers slid inside you with incredible ease, all the way to his knuckles "I've got you."
Your body arched like a string, the stretch felt so good. Marcus pulled his fingers out and after a moment he pushed them back in, watching your reaction with great pleasure.
"If you could see it." he kissed the inside of your thigh tenderly "So hungry, so greedy."
"Harder..." you moaned, grabbing his wrist and trying to take control, but he wouldn't let you.
He grabbed yours with his other hand, quickly brushed it with his lips, and then his fingers started moving faster and harder. You heard that lewd sound that showed how wet you were and how your body reacted to his caresses.
"Give me everything. Cum on my fingers, love." Marcus panted, feeling his hard cock throb at the sight of your body. "Don't torture yourself like that, love. Cum."
And you did. Your thighs clenched as a shiver of pleasure ran through your body, and a sweet moan escaped your throat. You squeezed your eyes shut, feeling your head buzzing, but suddenly Marcus took control again. 
His strong arms spread your thighs, and his hard cock slid inside you without warning. You lost your breath. Your eyes rolled back under your eyelids, and when his strong body pinned you to the bed, you knew there was no escape.
"Fuck..." he moaned loudly, dazed by the feeling. "You're so tight, so warm..."
"Marcus... I feel like you're going to tear me apart..." you moaned, taking his face in your hands and kissing him. "Gods!"
"Don't summon them, love." he mumbled quietly, brushing your lips "They'll be jealous of us."
His hand grabbed your leg under the knee and he lifted it slightly, thrusting into you even deeper. You didn't know how on earth it was possible, but his cock seemed to dig into you even more with each thrust. 
His body, his strength intoxicated you. Your beloved transformed under your fingers into a barbarian who came to your bed just to fuck you and use your body as he wished.
You felt another orgasm building inside you and you wanted to tell him that, but in an instant Marcus lifted himself up. Without leaving you he pulled you with him and sat on his heels, you fell onto his thighs, impaling yourself on him even more.
Your arms wrapped around his neck tighter, fingers entangled in his hair as he lifted your body and used it as he wanted to, to get what he came for.
"I'm so close, so close." he breathed into your ear. "I want to feel you again, give it to me. Give it to me!"
As if on command, your body gave in. Your walls trembled and squeezed around his manhood, you clung to him tighter as he now pressed you hard and violently against his cock. But Marcus was close too and soon you felt his body tense up and he poured into you, filling you up with his warm seed.
You were both panting, your bodies still sweaty and hot. His heartbeat mixed with yours and no matter how many breaths you took, it still wasn't enough.
"You're definitely not a dream." he murmured, kissing your shoulder gently.
"How can you be so sure?" you giggled, looking fondly at his blissful face.
"The Gods would have to be incredibly cruel if they let me experience immortality with you and then ordered me to return to mortal life." his fingers tenderly stroked your back "You have to be real." 
You kissed him tenderly feeling indescribable love for this man. At the same time, however, a small flame of anxiety rose in your heart thinking about the upcoming day.
He was torn from his sleep by the quiet sound of the door closing, and then your footsteps on the stone floor. He lazily rubbed his eyelids and opened them, noticing you pouring yourself a glass of water.
"Why did you get dressed?" His voice was hoarse, and it gave you shivers "I didn't say I was done with you."
You smiled, walking over to the bed and sitting on its edge "You were done with me at least three times last night, General." you noticed, leaning down and kissing his soft lips "You should rest your loins."
"I'll rest after death. Right now, I just want to keep my cock between your thighs, where it belongs." he replied "I've been thinking about it for almost four years and I have no intention of giving you up now."
Marcus noticed the smile disappearing from your face, and your gaze wandered to the window open to the garden. He knew that look. Something was worrying you and occupying your mind.
He sat down on the bed, his hand tenderly stroking your arm. "What's wrong, my dear? Something's on your mind."
"Marcus... So much has happened since you left." You said quietly. "I don't even know where to start... It all scares me so much."
"What do you mean?" he asked. "Tell me, because I can see how much you're struggling."
He saw you nervously squeezing your fingers, and your eyes avoiding his gaze. Finally, you stood up and took a few steps. Marcus watched you carefully as he put on his robe, a strange fear growing in his heart. 
What if this was all just a dream? What if you tell him to wake up now?
You were already opening your mouth to say something when a commotion in the hallway and quick footsteps tore your attention away. The door opened wide and a small boy rushed into the room.
"Mommy!" he called, running up to you and wrapping his small arms around your legs. 
Right behind him, a woman in a servant's robe ran in, apologizing from the entrance. "My lady, he wanted to see you so much. I told him you had a guest, but he..."
"Nothing happened, Tullia." You replied, smiling faintly, clearly embarrassed. "Please, take him to the garden." You ran your fingers through the boy's dark, curly hair. "I'll see you in a moment, okay, little bug?"
The boy smiled and grabbed the servant's hand, gave Marcus a quick glance with his brown eyes, and left the room, leaving you in complete silence.
You could clearly feel the tension that had grown between you. You wrapped your arms around yourself, as if you wanted to hide, and looked up at Marcus. Surprise was written on his face. His dark eyebrows furrowed, and his jaw clenched. He stared at the door, and only your voice made him look at you.
"I didn't know how to tell you this..." you whispered "I've been planning this in my head for almost four years, and now I'm standing in front of you and I'm speechless."
"You're a mother." His voice was low, you nodded "All this time I thought you were waiting for me, and you..."
"Marcus, let me explain, please." You wanted to approach him, but he just raised his hand, and you froze.
He swallowed, and his dark eyes were fixed on you like daggers ready to attack "Before I left we promised each other... You promised me that you would wait for me. That you would be faithful to me."
"And I was." You groaned.
"Don't lie to me!" he roared, and you stepped back, scared "For four years I lived only thanks to the thought that you were waiting for me, that you loved me despite everything. And now? You promised me!"
"Let me explain, Marcus." Your eyes stung from the tears that were seeping into your eyelids. "You don't understand..."
He was like a beast locked in a cage. His eyes darkened and his hands clenched into fists. It was the first time he looked at you with such contempt and disappointment, and your heart was breaking with every passing second.
"I thought you were devoted to me. That you committed to waiting for me, if I knew you were just a whore..."
These words were the last straw that broke the camel's back. You suddenly straightened up and raised your head, looking at Marcus defiantly.
"Don't talk to me about commitment, devotion and loyalty when that's what I've been doing for four years." you said sharply, you saw that he opened his mouth, but this time you didn't let him get a word in. "I was pregnant when you left Rome with the army. For many months I hid it from my surroundings, but I still heard the whispers and gossip. I carried him under my heart, gave birth to him and I raised him alone, despite everything. Despite the lack of guarantee that you'll come back. So you have no right to talk to me about commitment and loyalty, or judge me without knowing everything! Julius is your son. You can either accept it or leave." 
Marcus looked as if you had stabbed him at that moment. There was silence and only the laughter coming from the garden tore you out of this freeze. The General approached the door leading to the garden. Between the bushes and flowers he saw the silhouettes of a few boys playing, including the one who called you mother.
"I didn't know..." he said quietly, his eyes following the boy carefully.
"How were you supposed to know?"
"Call him."
"Marcus, please..." you whispered, a cold shiver running down your spine.
He looked at you, but you couldn't read anything on his face. "Call him, please. Or I will." He could see, however, that you were unable to utter a word. "Julius! Come here, boy."
The sounds of fun faded away and after a moment you heard the shuffling of sandals as the boy approached you, dragging a wooden sword behind him. He stopped in front of Marcus, but his frightened gaze went straight to you, afraid that he had done something wrong.
Marcus looked at him carefully, towering over the boy. Finally, he spoke.
"Do you know who I am?"
Julius's eyes went to the man's face. He nodded.
"A general. Mom told me." he said quietly. "A soldier. Like my dad."
You saw Marcus give you a quick look, but he couldn't resist asking another question. "Where's your father, boy?"
"At war. Far away." He looked down and shuffled his shoes. "Mom says he's brave."
"And are you brave?"
You covered your mouth with your hand to hold back a sob as Julius shook his head.
"I'm not. Sometimes I'm scared, so then I go to mom."
Marcus crouched down in front of the boy so that their faces were at the same height. Your heart skipped a beat at the sight of the resemblance between them.
"Where did you get that sword?" Marcus continued.
Julius visibly perked up. "Mom gave it to me. To make me brave."
"Will you show it to me?"
The boy handed him his wooden sword and Marcus looked at it. "It's a very good sword." Julius' face lit up with a smile.
He accepted the sword back from the General and you had the impression that he stood more straight and proud. Marcus looked at him for a moment longer, then ruffled his hair asking him to go back to playing.
"I didn't know what to tell him when he started asking about his father." You started quietly as Marcus watched the boy who had already run after his friends. "I didn't know if you'd ever come back... I wanted to believe it, but he needed answers. That's all I could give him."
"He is..."
"Perfect." You finished for him. "He's smart, empathetic, sensitive and not at all as cowardly as he says. He's afraid of storms, so he comes to me at night."
Marcus turned around looking at you with tenderness. You noticed tears in his eyes and after a moment they ran down your cheeks.
"I wanted him to be safe." You sobbed. "I thought that when you came back and saw him... Every day I saw you in his eyes."
Warm hands grabbed your face as Marcus put his forehead to yours. You placed your hands on his, trying to calm your breathing.
"I'm sorry..." he whispered "I beg you, forgive me for doubting you. I didn't expect this. The thought that you could marry someone else, give him children..."
"How could I do that? I gave my heart to you, Marcus. For eternity."
Warm lips brushed yours.
"You gave me a son. You're so brave. Too good for me... I don’t deserve you and him." he whispered "I'm sorry I doubted you, my love."
"Please, don't talk about it anymore. Just get to know him, and you'll surely love him too."
"But will he love me?" doubt sounded in his voice "Julius doesn't know his father."
You tenderly stroked his face, wanting to erase all worries from him.
"Julius knows his father is brave, strong, and that he loved me more than anything in his life. He will welcome you with open arms, Marcus. Just give yourself a chance. Give us all a chance." 
He nodded and snuggled up to you with all his might. When he returned to Rome in glory, his greatest dream was to see you again. And you gave him so much more. You gave him more than the Emperor could.
You gave him life.
☆☆☆
Thank you for your time.
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ashwhowrites · 2 days
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Yay! Your request is open!! 🥰 I hope this makes sense to you. I don’t see any rules that you don’t write for but I’m going to giving try. If you’re not comfortable with, ignore it.
Rockstar!Eddie x pregnant!reader: angst/fluff; eddie have gone pretty much all over the world for the band. He kept the promise that he’ll be home to his wife before a baby comes but the flight was delayed and worried he won’t be home. He really needs a miracle.
I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it. Thank you for requesting 🫶🏻
Dad's promise
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Eddie was having the time of his life on tour with his band. They traveled all over the world and had their last show. He couldn't wait to be home with his wife. She was amazing and supported Eddie's dream. She only had one rule- he HAD to be home for the birth.
He promised he would not miss the birth of their first child and he did everything in his power to stand by that. He was rushing the band to the airport, refusing to let any of them stop for snacks or even use the bathroom. He wanted to be on the flight on time and go home to his wife.
He talked to her every day and he missed her like crazy. He got her and the baby a gift from every stop on the tour, he didn't care that he had to pay for another carry-on. His phone was blowing up from Y/N, alerting him that she was going into labor and he needed to get home as fast as he could.
He was sitting in his seat, practically shaking as he looked around. A flight attendant walked past and he was quick to call out to her.
"Excuse me, how long until we take off?"
"Should be any minute, sir." She said, a big smile on her face as she walked away. Eddie groaned but accepted the answer. He tried to calm himself down but it was clear he was panicking.
"We'll get you there as fast as we can, kid." Eddie's manager said as he placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"I have to make it back. If I don't she'll never forgive me and I won't forgive myself." Eddie said he closed his eyes as he tried to keep his breathing stable.
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your pilot speaking. We are looking at an hour delay and will continue to give updates throughout the hour. Thank you."
"Are you fucking serious?" Eddie groaned, and a few people turned to look at him with a disapproving look. But he didn't care, he was about to have a panic attack.
"Just breathe, Eddie. There's a chance she still might be in labor by the time we arrive." His manager said but Eddie was unbuckling from his seat.
"Not a chance I'm willing to take. I made a promise and I'm not letting her do this alone." Eddie snapped, grabbing his bags and demanding for the doors to open.
~~~
"Where is he?" Y/N cried, sweat covering her body as she screamed out. The pain was becoming unbearable and she was getting scared Eddie wasn't going to make it.
"I'm sure he'll be here any minute. Keep breathing," the nurse said as she allowed Y/N to grip her hand.
"How close am I?" Y/N asked, her eyes traveled to the door.
"The baby is ready now," the doctor said, Y/N shook her head no as he sat down.
"No, no. We have to wait for my husband! He's coming!" She panicked
"I'm sorry but we can't wait," the doctor said. Y/N begged and begged but the doctor continued to prep for the baby.
Y/N cried but did what she had to do. She gripped the nurse's hand and began to push.
~
Eddie ran into the hospital, smacking into the front desk as he frantically asked for his wife's room.
"I'll take you there and prep you"
Eddie breathed a sigh of relief that he made it in time, following behind the lady as she took him through the doors.
He listened carefully as the lady told him what to do and how to wear the appropriate clothes. His hands were shaking, wishing the lady would stop talking and let him in the damn room.
Once she told him the number, he was running down the hallway. His eyes scanned the numbers as fast as he could.
~
Y/N screamed as she continued to push, her sweat and tears mixing as they fell down her neck.
"I see the head, keep pushing, Y/N. You got this!" The doctor encouraged. Y/N nodded and took a second to breathe.
The door burst open, and Eddie came running in. Once they made eye contact, they both sighed with relief.
"Oh, thank God," Y/N laughed. Eddie smiled and was quick to switch spots with the nurse. He grabbed her hand and gave it a small kiss.
"I'm here, I'm here. You can do it, love." He whispered to her, but she kept her eyes on him. She smiled through her tears and nodded.
"I tried to make them wait"
Eddie chucked at her words, "That's okay. I'm here so let's do this, yeah? Have us a baby?"
She nodded and turned back to the doctor, her hand holding Eddie's as she began to push again. She felt far less scared now that he was here.
With a few final pushes, the sound of a baby crying filled the room. Eddie kept his hand with her but moved to see the baby.
"Congratulations, you have a baby girl"
Eddie leaned over and kissed Y/N's sweaty forehead, pushing back her hair.
"You did it!" He smiled, kissing her again and again.
Once they cleared the baby up, the doctor passed her to Y/N.
"She's beautiful," Y/N gasped. She held the tiny baby in her arms, her heart full.
"Just like you," Eddie whispered, speaking as softly as he could. He reached over and softly touched the baby's head.
"I can't believe I'm a girl Dad"
Y/N looked up at him, watching as his eyes filled with tears. Eddie felt her staring and looked back at her. He never thought he'd have his own little family in a million years, but here he was.
"You two are going to be my whole world"
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moonlight-prose · 2 days
Text
RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT ME
➛ 07. BENEATH THE STAINS OF TIME
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a/n: wow i stalled on writing this chapter until the last minute. i think i really just didn't want to put them through this, but also i love the angst so it's an internal war i fought with myself. this is the pinnacle of the entire series. the one thing i plotted when i first came up with the story. so grab your tissues, a blanket, and a comfort fic for afterwards. because i am sorry for what's about to happen.
summary: he never liked the variant from your universe; the be all end all hero. but in the depths of anger and pain, logan howlett is forced to make a choice his variant self once made. save your soul and the people you might harm...or save the you he loves.
word count: 9.5k+
pairing: logan howlett x f!reader
warnings: DARK THEMES AHEAD BE WARNED, angst, pain, ptsd, talk of drowning, insanity, tw: torture, tw: blood, tw: death, grief, violence, wade wilson breaking the fourth wall, deadpool & wolverine energy, laura kinney has enetered the chat y'all, father daughter bonding, wade wilson's commentary, sacrifice, time.
PREVIOUS CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER | SERIES MASTERLIST
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He couldn't breathe.
Logan had been underwater before, felt the press of the ocean against his chest and struggled for oxygen. Battling for breath, no matter how small. He understood what it felt like to drown—sink to the bottom and never get up. His adamantium skeleton had been the cause of him drowning far too many times in his life; until he'd grown accustomed to the sensation of fighting for air.
This felt magnified. As if he'd been at the bottom of the Atlantic—straight down the Mariana Trench—for centuries.
Was this how it felt to be buried alive? To find yourself in a grave six feet deep with no way of clawing to the surface.
He never thought he'd understand the sensation that kept him up at night; the prospect of death was too little a threat for him to actually worry about. Unimportant to a man who had spent two centuries of his life barely finding any meaning to it. After all, what was the fucking point when he wound up right back here. In the shallow end of his grave, waiting to lay down and exhale his final breath.
Time fell back into place the moment you left. Fortuna. Someone he never thought would find him here; now brought him to his knees with one simple act.
There was misery in love. He knew this the moment he fell in his own universe. He understood the cost of what might come from you using your powers without restrictions; what Charles told you. Yet he fell anyway. He allowed his heart to open up and give you leeway into the broken pieces of his mind—a part of himself he chose to ignore.
He should have fucking known better than to repeat history here.
He should have ignored the strings that bound his heart to yours and left you alone.
He should have, he should have, he should have...
But he didn't.
Now he bore the brunt of consequences he knew would one day show up.
Your apartment door slammed open, nearly getting torn off the hinges as a familiar echo of heavy boots thumped across the hardwood floor. He felt his spine tense where he still knelt—hands clutching the pieces of your shattered mug. Fortuna wouldn't be returning. He knew her tricks, knew her endgame, and coming back to the scene of disaster was never her forte.
The scent of vanilla and Ambrose filled his senses, stinging his nose, as a familiar dark browned girl rushed to his aid. A backpack hit the ground, sunglasses discarded on the counter, as his variant's daughter clutched his hands in hers. He couldn't bring himself to look at her. Not when he broke right there in a place that held such happiness.
She seemed to understand. Peeling the porcelain out of his palms and placing it back on the table; finding what other shards she could to put them all together. The silence felt safe. Familiar.
Logan found himself suddenly thankful for the variant that once existed in her world. She could see the cues before they even washed across his face; the bitter grief that her father once went through. He knew from when he met her in the Void, he couldn't be that person for her. But when she looked at him like that—a daughter willing to fight alongside her father—he hoped that maybe...he could.
"Althea called me," she said softly, hands wrapped around his wrists. "Whoever she is attacked Wade's place first."
His head rose, anger trickling in his chest as Laura's brown eyes mirrored his own. "She's..."
"I know," she muttered, pulling him to his feet. "Wade filled me in."
"Is he-"
"Takes a lot more than that to kill a Deadpool." She grimly kicked shattered glass to the side, shoving it to a corner as he staggered to his full height. He wore a neutral expression—somber even. But Laura could see the pain in his eyes; an exact replica of the older man she once clung to as a child—begging him to live for her sake. "He sounded pissed. Althea hung up before he could fill me in on the gory details."
"Fortuna," he sighed, eyes fixed on the demolished window. He'd have to help you fix it after all was said and done—after he apologized for dragging you into a mess that was never meant to touch you. "She found me."
Laura's nose scrunched, brows furrowed. "You're ex? I thought she could control time, not...multiverses."
"Charles's theory was that she wasn't exactly controlling time. More like what made up the universe as a whole."
She nodded. "Time included."
"Time included," he repeated. "I didn't think she'd...get this bad."
"You left her behind," she stated, rummaging in your fridge for something to drink. "I guess a part of me can understand her anger."
He knew she wasn't talking about him, but rather the man she once looked up to. Nonetheless the words still stung the same.
In a different world Logan could picture her here on nights not spent at the mansion studying and training. He could see you bonding with Laura—teaching her the history of the X-Men. Showing her the love of a mother she never had.
The image punched him in the chest until his breath became nonexistent and suddenly...he was drowning again. A choked noise echoed in the back of his throat. Laura's head snapped in his direction with concern etched across her face. Any other day he'd loathe that look, but tonight he couldn't dig his way out fast enough to care.
The soda can she tossed his way nearly smacked him in the head; effectively snapping him out of whatever fucking stupor his own mind was intent on trapping him in. He caught it, breath rushing back to his lungs, and gulped down the shitty sugary crap his own kid loved.
"That's fuckin' disgusting," he bit out, watching her smile into her own can.
"I like it."
He winced as the taste hit the back of his throat. "You're a kid. You'll grow out of it."
"You've said that before Dad. And I'm not a kid-" She tensed as the word left her mouth. The title that was never meant to fall upon his shoulders; never supposed to tie him to another person.
Something hesitant flashed in her eyes, mouth now a thin line as she waited for his inevitable reaction to her slip up. The words he uttered beside the fire no doubt on the tip of his tongue: Whoever you think I am...you got the wrong guy. But standing there, watching his kid hold hope in her eyes that he might say something different this time, made him finally understand what the fucking point was.
He didn't want to be the wrong guy.
He just wanted to be what she needed. What you needed.
"No," he sighed, lips curling into a smile that said enough. You can call me Dad. You can give me that responsibility and know I'll fight like hell to make sure I live up to his legacy. "I guess you're not."
They allowed the silence to sit in their chest for a brief moment. A moment of understanding passed in their grim smiles that held so much more. He'd tell it all to her one day. How he once longed for a life exactly like this, for a kid of his own. How he never believed himself worthy of the title Dad. How he'd lay down his entire being if she asked it of him.
Today though, they shed the titles of father and daughter and donned one they knew all too well. Wolverine. Ironic that the one thing he loathed would one day be given to a girl who wielded it with pride.
"What are you gonna do?" she asked, pushing off the counter and reaching for her bag.
"Find her."
"And when you do?"
His heart paused as the realization of what was to come began to reenter his mind. Fortuna had you captive, dangling you on a string in the hopes he would latch on to rescue the person who held his heart. Logan felt the urge to leap. Save you from the clutches of someone willing to kill you just to bring him unimaginable pain.
To get even for what he couldn't do that night.
But he also knew...Fortuna didn't deserve what happened. The humans destroyed what the X-Men built. They were the cause of everything that occurred since he left. He couldn't let their trauma bring down the woman he once loved. Even if she was so adamant on watching him give over his life for a version of her not yet broken by unimaginable pain.
"I don't fuckin' know," he admitted.
She took another sip, crushed the can in her palm and tossed it to the bin in the corner of your kitchen. "Wade's gonna want to speak to you. Find out what happened here."
He nodded. "You got everythin'?"
"I'm set."
"You know you don't have to do this kid. It's not your fight."
Her eyes narrowed, the firm set of her mouth so much like his own. She was a fucking mirror he never thought he'd have; showing him pieces of himself he once thought too ugly to be seen. Yet they were the reason she shined so bright. He could see the stubbornness ingrained into her very own DNA. A testament to his own unwillingness to let things go; to take on the battle for someone else as long as they didn't get hurt.
So much like him. So identical.
He felt a streak of fear run down his spine at that thought alone. She'd have to suffer for it. Just as he did. But goddammit if he wasn't going to do everything in his power to save her from the pain of bearing the title Wolverine.
"You love her," she stated plainly, as if nothing else mattered in this world but those three words. "Which means she's my family. We protect our own."
She didn't give him a chance to respond, scooping up her sunglasses and propping them on her nose with a huff. Maybe she didn't notice how he stood there, eyes wide as something pricked his heart. Maybe she ignored it for his sake—so uncomfortable with being vulnerable like him. But either way he couldn't deny the fact that stared right at him in big shiny letters.
She was his daughter. Through and through.
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"She took my arms!" Wade's voice echoed down the hallway, giving Logan pause as Laura took the lead. "Do you know how petty that is? When I find that Scarlet Witch carbon copy I'm gonna shove my katana down her throat as I dance to dub-step-"
"Hi Wade," Laura said, cutting him off from what was about to be an impressive rant.
He spun, baby arms swinging limply at his side. "Oh good. The clone of the man I actually need. Tell me, did you find your father cause mommy has to speak to him."
Logan took that chance to follow her through the open door. His eyes took in the destruction of a once nice living room. Burn marks stretched from floor to ceiling in multiple places where Fortuna's whip had made contact. He spotted two limbs in a pile by the couch, blood pooling on the carpet as Wade steamed with enough fury to sharpen his senses.
She’d come here first looking for him. Which means she somehow knew exactly where to find him.
"Peanut!" he shouted, eyes narrowed and baby fists clenched. "Did you have a nice morning? Get some good head? Because I was attacked by the long lost daughter of Princess Diana."
Laura's head cocked to the side, brows furrowed. "Diana Prince."
"Whatever!"
"Wade." His greeting could have been better. Though he was never one for handing out sympathy to the nearest victim.
Wade ceremoniously collapsed to the floor on his back, thumping his head against the carpet as Logan stepped further into the room. The window was ripped clean out of the wall, glass scattered everywhere which showed how Fortuna found out about her variant self. Logan could practically see the fight happen in the present time.
It made his stomach sour—his heart a rapid beat against his chest.
"How long will it take for those to finish?" He gestured to the arms that currently pointed two middle fingers in his direction.
"Couple hours. Why do you ask? Want a handy?"
"Ew," Laura sighed. "I'm gonna find some food. Want anything?" When Logan shook his head, she quickly dipped back out into the hallway, leaving him to deal with the wallowing lump on the floor.
He sighed, stepped over Wade and grabbed him. "Alright c'mon."
"I'm half the man I used to be. Literally. She took the only good thing I had until Ness got back." The limp wave of small hands in his face had Logan cringing back.
"So she came here first then."
Wade barked out a laugh. "Oh you mean your ex? Sabrina the teenage BITCH!"
Logan huffed, dragged him to the couch that had long chunks ripped out of the fabric. "She's a lot older than you think mouth."
"Sorry my bad. We didn't exchange your preferred blowjob tips and trade secrets about you when she was cutting off my arms!" The roll of his eyes was involuntary, barely there, but Wade latched onto it like a dog with a bone. "Did you just-"
He turned his head, exasperation bleeding into the air. "Did he just roll his eyes at me?"
The room went still as the gears in Logan's head began to turn. The fear was now palpable enough for Wade to figure out exactly what was happening. He sat up straight, gaze latched onto the apartment across the street. The wall gaped like a wound, leaving a trail of ghastliness in its wake. Wade was surprised to see minimal bloodshed, merely the path of destruction left by a being with too much power, but the inkling of you in pain made his stomach churn.
The amount of information he extracted out of Fortuna was slim to none, but it didn't take a genius to figure out what she went after once she was done wreaking havoc in his home.
"Logan," he started, anger trickling into his heart. "Where is sweet angel?"
He sagged into the couch—grief cutting into his chest as images of your smiling face plagued his mind. No answer would have been good enough to explain what happened. His face stricken with despair—the way he clutched his hands into fists on his knees—told Wade everything he needed to know.
Fortuna wasn't here to only kill Logan. Why dismantle one life when she could bring an end to the memory of Logan Howlett in this universe too? She'd take all of them down with her if it meant enacting her revenge.
Starting with you.
"No," he breathed.
"I don't know where they would have-" He bit down on the inside of his cheek until copper burst on his tongue. "Where they'd be."
The longer he sat there, the more he felt himself sink into the despondent pit in his mind. Yet no matter how he struggled to claw at the ground, it continued to drag him in earnest. The sharp peal of laughter—of taunting words that set his teeth on edge—mimicked the sound of Fortuna.
He wanted to scream, but who would be there to listen? Who would be there to drag him from the darkness now that you were gone?
A bag was tossed to the couch, barely breaking through the murkiness in his own mind. Laura dragged the only working chair in the kitchen closer to the couch. The snap and hiss of a Coke being opened filled the dire silence. Giving Logan something to latch onto. He might tell her one day how being near her settled the raging storm in his head; the calm he could never quite acquire somehow flowing through her with ease.
He had people to help him find you; people who cared for your well being.
People who would die to bring you home.
There would be no end for them where you weren't safe. Where they didn't offer themselves up on your behalf. You were the best of them. It certainly wasn’t your fault you fell in love with a man too twisted and mangled by pain to offer you even the illusion of peace.
"I know someone who might be able to help," she said, chewing thoughtfully on a granola bar. "You may not like it."
Wade's sigh was deafening, his body flopping back onto the couch with a groan. "We are not dragging McAvoy into this. Not when Stewart is better drama wise."
She took another bite, distant gaze stuck to a busted picture frame of Wade and Vanessa on an anniversary of some sorts. Wade wore red, Vanessa wore black. They resembled a couple others might look up to. Logan used to stare at it often in his fitful nights of sleep. More so when you wandered into his life; thoughts of a future tantalizingly close to the tips of his fingers.
He wanted that with you. A life worth more than every battle he fought, every scar that didn't stick. All the fucked up things he did evaporated like steam floating off water the second he met your eyes.
You and your honey-like smile; your hand a soft yet sturdy grip in his.
"Is your universe similar to this one?" Laura inquired, back in the moment as her mind reeled with possibilities.
"Somewhat."
"In what way?"
"Places and people still exist. It's pieces of time that are different. History isn't the same here." He could recall you begging him to explain his past. What wars he fought in, what happened for him to get to this point. Yet whatever you recorded wouldn't match the history books housed in your library.
Laura nodded, downing the last of her soda. "So places. Anywhere special she might have gone that might mean something to you?"
His mind fell to the one place even he couldn’t approach. The space that housed so many memories—so much agony. But going back there would mean facing the other X-Men and Fortuna wasn't stupid enough to risk falling into that trap.
"The mansion is too risky."
He thought back to your shared room. The walls that once flickered blue with Fortuna's power as he held her through the nightmares. He thought of a small two story farmhouse that sat on the outskirts of the property line. A home Charles offered. One he intended to rebuild with the promise of holding onto a love so permanent.
His heart dropped, laying in the base of his stomach like a stone he never intended to swallow. "I know where they are."
Wade perked up, arms an inch longer than before. "Mind sharing with the class peanut?"
Logan couldn't hear him over the noise in his head; the knowledge that Fortuna would pull such a heinous act of revenge. Taking you to the place he promised her. It made for the perfect ending to her already tragic story. Logan wasn't sure if he wanted to rip his claws into the couch below, or charge out the door with no plan.
He settled for heading to the hall closet, yanking the door open with more force than intended. It slammed against the wall as he tugged free a black unlabeled duffle bag from the top shelf. After the battle to save Wade's universe, he didn't think he would need this old yellow suit anymore. At the time he was tempted to throw it out and forget it existed.
He eventually came to his senses.
Salvaging what he could and rebuilding small pieces in case the time came formed an amalgamation of what once resembled an X-Men suit. His fingers traced the silver X attached to the belt. The symbol that once held so much hope. Fortuna wore the same. A tie that kept them forever bound; forever each other's equal even in a different universe.
"You're going after her," Laura said.
"Of course he is." Wade stumbled to his feet. "We're finally getting that family road trip."
"Would now be the wrong time to say Avenger's Assemble? Or should we wait for the third act battle sequence?"
Logan felt the gaping maw of his heart grow the longer you were apart from him. An itch formed beneath his skin. The source was indeterminable but he knew what caused it to start. His entire being called out to you, begged you to survive until he managed to carry you to safety. Yet the biting horror of reality began to settle like a frozen chill in his veins.
What if he finally destroyed the only good thing about his life?
What if he was too late?
What if...you didn't survive?
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You couldn't differentiate night from day anymore. After the first two hours, you were left with a stabbing pain in the side of your head—turning your vision blurry. After what felt like five or six (or perhaps eight) you gave up on trying to keep count. The veins were prominent against your hands as blood steadily dripped to the floor.
A pool of crimson agony that you could practically see yourself in.
If you opened your eyes, would you see the broken parts of a soul she seemed intent on dragging out? Would they match hers? The sound of her gravel lilted voice murmured in the corner of the room where she waited. A stoic figure of patience. Seeking penance for the harm caused to someone so innocent.
You both knew this was a fight meant for Logan. You knew only one of them walked away from whatever age old hatred still burned bright enough to burn the skin off your body.
That didn't stop you from wishing you could shoulder the burden for him. The words collateral damage didn't mean anything to you before. Merely things spouted to harm your already vulnerable and emotional state. But the longer you gave them time to sink in, the more you accepted her veracity. You would cease to exist one way or another come tomorrow morning.
This was the ugly undeniable truth.
The one thing Logan could not save you from.
"I know you're awake."
Fear curled around your heart like a fist as your eyes cracked open sluggishly—triggering a dull pain in your skull. The ability to speak was stripped from you after an hour of screaming. The hoarse echo of your voice sent a throbbing knife down your throat you chose to ignore.
So you stared at her; watched while she paced the floor in front of you—blue rolling off of her like waves from the ocean.
"He's gonna come for you," she muttered more to herself. "He'll show up."
You groaned and watched her stiffen—milky eyes flashing cerulean. The burn of the rope on your skin counteracted the searing ache in your torso. Her whip hung around her waist—coated in a dried layer of your blood. The sight sent bile up your throat even though your stomach remained empty. She stared at you as if you were someone else entirely; someone from a past life you'd never know about.
The need to inquire—to know more—began to build under your skin. But your body would no longer respond to what you wanted. The depletion of your energy affected more than your ability to speak; it tore at what little movement you had, ripping everything to shreds on the inside. You knew you looked half dead—felt like it too—but she could see the slight twitch of your mouth almost ready to open.
"Charles would have liked you," she revealed as if it were a small secret meant to be kept between the two of you. "He always had an affinity for those interested in mutant powers."
Sucking in a breath, you managed to force your voice to work. "I-I know the history."
"I bet you would." She glanced at the window where dusk crept into the late afternoon sky; brilliant hues of orange and red mimicking the pain in your body. "I didn't think I'd exist in this universe."
"You don't," you croaked. "I'm not a mutant."
Her lips curled, a small laugh exhaling from her mouth. "Yeah. I guess you're not. Maybe that's what he likes about you."
Logan's face seeped into the back of your mind; the tender smile he wore when you woke up together. The hope in his eyes that this might remain a consistent part of his life. That he may have lucked out on the prospect of getting to have you for as long as you chose to keep him.
Suddenly that part of your life felt a million miles away. Just barely out of reach, growing further in distance the harder you tried to capture it.
"I-I'm you," you mumbled, head tipping to the side. "That's why."
"No. You're not me." She regarded you with a look of pity, lips down turned in a mock pout. Ire burned in your chest with the embers of a flame lit by Logan. "You're weak."
You huffed, digging your nails into your palms to divert your attention from the pain. "I survived you."
The slap that whipped across your face was unexpected. You cried out—head falling back against the chair—as she stood over you. Power emanating from her stance. This wasn't someone to toy with. You could see how she craved to rip your tongue from your mouth; the need to silence her variant crawling beneath her skin.
But something held her back from approaching that final line.
Something scared her.
"You won't die if you do it," you wheezed, struggling to breath through a nose so clotted with dried blood. "That's not how this works."
She sneered. "And you're smart enough to know how all of this works."
"So it seems."
Her fingers gripped your wrist, nails boring into your already sliced open skin, as she leaned over you. "The Logan in this universe is dead." You stuttered out a halfhearted breath; body ringing with a plea to stop. To put an end to this fucking torture. "How did he die?"
You winced, leveling her glare with one of your own. "He sacrificed himself."
"You're fucking with me," she laughed, the sound shrill and hoarse.
Neither of you heard the creak behind her. You could barely register anything other than the rush of blood that pounded against your eardrums. She seemed to be enjoying how your body slowly deteriorated beneath the strain of the pain. Far too distracted to notice the person creeping into the house—sunglasses on her face—claws extended in a stance of defense.
"Who garnered enough fucking attention from Logan Howlett for him to sacrifice himself?" she jeered.
"His daughter."
Fortuna spun whip in hand, as a young woman stood mere feet away. Her head was cocked in interest as if she'd never quite seen two identical people in the same room. You knew her name the second your eyes locked on her form. The same dark hair, same grim tight lipped frown. The same silver claws and stubborn streak.
The sight of Laura Kinney took your breath away.
She stood before you every bit the girl that Logan made her out to be as he spoke about her in shared conversations at your kitchen table. You could see the mirror image of her father in each expression, each small twitch of her body that prepared to fight. And something flared to life in your chest.
You were angry that Fortuna was about to hurt her. Logan's daughter was ready to put her life on the line to rescue someone she'd never met before.
A missing detail which didn't appear to matter to her. Logan loved you. That was certainly enough for her.
Fortuna gaped at her—astounded by the familiar details and hints that Laura was indeed telling the truth. Not only had Logan Howlett died in this world, but he left behind a legacy that would live on for him. He saved the only important thing in his life so she could one day do the same for the version of her father who would stay.
"He's here isn't he?" she asked calmer than you expected. The whip snapped to the ground. You flinched at the sound. A fact that Laura clocked within seconds—her head tilted in your direction.
Though you couldn't see her eyes behind the pink sunglasses, you knew that fury burned in them as they would her father's.
"He sends his regards." Laura's fingers curled into fists.
"A child," she spit. "He sent a child to do his bidding?"
She shrugged, lips curling into a false grin. "Don't worry. I'm more than capable of killing you."
You felt pride flicker in your heart as Logan's cocksureness bled through her words. Where Laura went, Logan wasn't too far behind. You pulled at the restraints, the burn of ropes dragging along open wounds, but you refused to let Laura do this on her own. It seemed that the both of you had turned to the same page—her head nodding in your direction subtly.
"Well." Fortuna stepped forward, sapphire pouring off her body. "I suppose Logan's legacy won't last long in this universe."
Laura charged forward with a scream, claws slicing at Fortuna's middle only for the whip to wrap itself around her arm. With a shout, Fortuna flung her to the side—watching with an unhinged smile as Laura hit the wall hard enough to make you wince. You tugged at the rope—a hoarse cry ripping from your throat when a boot slammed into the legs of the chair.
"Don't tell me you're ready to leave," she shouted. "We were bonding."
"Fuck you," you snapped.
"Ouch." Her hand gripped your chin, lifting you to meet her expressionless eyes. "Is that the best you can do, human?"
"No," you gasped, hand scrambling for the knife at her thigh. "This is."
It embedded in her arm, slicing open skin as she shouted in rage, stumbling back into Laura's vicinity. Claws ripped through the back of her leg, cutting open her calf, as a familiar dark head of hair slid past her, crouching in front of your chair with a roar.
"You bitch!" Fortuna tossed the blade to the side, her hand forming around the open wound.
It clattered against the floor seconds before the door burst open—a man in red bursting through and flinging yet another baby knife towards Fortuna's healing body. She ducked, whip coiling like a snake in the air, slamming down with a crack. Wade shrieked, flipping to the side and ducking behind the broken couch as the familiar click of a bullet falling into the chamber resonated in the air.
"I'd say I'll put my hands up but you'd probably tie them together huh. You kinky minx!"
You winced through the grin, Laura's eyes tracked Fortuna's movements like a predator waiting when to strike. Whatever the plan was, Logan was sure to make sure someone was on you at all times. If only to get you out of the house and into the forest safely. From there it was quick to disappear.
Wade seemed to be the distraction in this case. Fitting.
His head peeked over the couch—the whip slicing over him with a sound that pierced through you. "You die tonight Deadpool."
"You don't want me. You want my buddy right outside this house." He stood, finger pulling the trigger quicker than you expected. Only for a silver and blue whip to slice through it—the fragmented pieces of a smoking bullet hitting the floor and rolling away.
"Surrender you walking condom."
"Pump the hate brakes Wanda Maximoff." Another bullet slid into place. "Peanut junior? Would you like to take it away?"
Launching herself into the air, Laura toppled Fortuna to the side with a scream, her claws slashing to get her pound of flesh. Wade laughed, striding towards you—boot effortlessly kicking his knife up and into his hand. You’d never wanted to hug the man more.
He winced at the sight of your puffy face; your right eye was nearly swollen shut from where Fortuna decided to land her hits. A pastime she seemed to enjoy, simply to hear you scream.
You wondered if you took off the mask, would you see Wade's face bleeding with rage. Or did he too wear an expression of pity.
"Logan's gonna kill her," he muttered, crouching in front of you and sliding the knife through the ropes with ease. "I've got ya sweet angel."
"W-Where is he?" You staggered to your feet, Wade's arm wrapped tightly around your waist to keep you upright. "He can't be here. She'll kill him Wade."
He clicked his tongue, leading you to the front steps, past where Laura was busy twisting Fortuna's whip around her own neck. "He knows what's at risk, angel. Believe me. I offered to be the noble sacrifice but I played that card when it came to saving this universe and there's no take backs."
"He's gonna die," you rasped, your knees buckling as he got you over the last step. "H-He can't die."
Wade gripped your arms, settling you to the ground with a grunt. "You forget who you're fucking sweet angel. He's the Wolverine."
"But she's-"
"A toxic ex who can't seem to take no for an answer. We've all got one of those."
You huffed. "She's more than an ex."
"I know." Pulling the gun free from his thigh, he made sure you were safe before stepping back to the front stoop. "But that doesn't mean this isn't a daytime soap opera." He turned to the treeline with a sigh. "You coming, your majesty or should I roll out the red carpet?"
A glimpse of the man in question stopped your heart, the breath catching in your throat, as Logan finally stepped forth. His suit was sewn with pieces of black leather (no doubt from Wade's leftover stash), a yellow X stretched across his chest now became the sole focus. Yet that isn’t what filled your body with warmth.
This time he wore the suit with pride. A glint of determination was in his eyes that once never used to exist. He stepped forward the X-Man this world needed; ready and willing to take on the legacy of a man he once loathed. You felt your heart twist violently at the sight—love pouring into your chest faster than you could stop it.
"Honey," he breathed, rushing over—hesitation and a storm of outrage clashing together in his hazel eyes.
"I'm okay."
He huffed through his nose, hands gathering you gently in his arms. "Don't bullshit me honey."
Wade's cough was exaggerated, his hands gesturing to the doorway. Laura's shouts and the crashing of furniture being demolished spilled through the broken windows—her rage matching her father's right down to the familiar lilt of her roar. She was a fighter. Just like the man who held you as if you were glass. Your pain, now a reflection in his eyes as he took in what Fortuna did to you.
"You can't kill her. She’s too powerful," you stated.
“You’re safe.” He didn’t seem to comprehend your words. Opting to press you close enough to feel his body heat sink into your frigid form. “That’s all that matters.”
Wade ducked down, pressing his face close to Logan's. "Yeah. I don't mean to interrupt your romantic hero kiss the girl moment. But what the fuck are we gonna do?"
"She can't keep going like this," Logan replied. "Eventually she's gonna have to tap out."
"Of course! Makes perfect sense. Mind elaborating for the audience honey badger?"
Logan sighed, his hand cupping your face with a pained noise in the back of his throat. "Her energy will run out. Same as Charles and...Jean. They couldn't keep up the fight forever."
"Okay but the whole freezing time business." He glanced to the side, shoulders lifting in a perfunctory shrug. "I know right, we really could have explained this earlier."
"Mutants are aware." Logan rose to his feet, leaving you to sit on the ground, your hand outstretched to keep him here. "We have to struggle but we can break free if she's weak enough."
"Wow." Wade sagged, a muffled groan coming through the mask. "That's just lazy writing."
You gripped Logan's hand, forcing him to step closer. "You're not going in there."
"Honey-"
"No." Gripping the stair railing, you struggled to your feet—eyes blazing with a headstrong fighting spirit Logan loved you for. "She'll kill you Logan. I can't lose you. I-I won’t."
His breath was heavy, hand curling around the back of your neck to press his forehead to yours. "You're not gonna lose me alright? Not today."
"Logan-"
Wade gripped your arm, drawing your gaze to him. "Don't worry sweet angel. He's got a bodyguard." You leveled him with a glare that would have sent him six feet under if his mutant power wasn't regeneration. "Have I ever mentioned that your eyes are the perfect shade of rage and violence. It's like a beautiful fucked lava lamp from the eighties."
You weren't sure if he was paying you a compliment or trying to lighten the mood. Logan sighed against your cheek, disappointment practically bleeding through his words.
"Seventies Wade."
"He would know. He's from 753 B.D." He turned. "Before Deadpool."
"A.D.," you spit, fighting the hint of a grin that threatened to bloom across your face.
"Not in this universe."
A shout tore through the small sliver of peace as Laura was thrown from the house, landing in a bloodied heap on the grass. Mere seconds passed before she was flipping to her feet again, claws extended and glasses forgotten about in the dirt. You wondered if the surge of warmth in your chest was pride or something else entirely.
Perhaps one day you'd get the chance to figure it out.
"Time to go do what heroes do," Wade said, nudging Logan as Fortuna floated through the open doorway, landing mere feet away from where you stood.
"Wolverine," she crooned, her boots a steady thump against the wooden porch. "Come to rescue the human I see."
Logan gripped your waist, moving you away from the house with quick steps. You clawed at his back to get him to stop. To keep him from leaving you behind. But Laura's hands on your shoulders forced you to remain calm—to remain on the edge of the property and watch as the man your heart screamed for walked away.
"Logan!" you shouted, fighting against the girl's hold, but the wasted energy was all for naught. There was no breaking away from a determined Wolverine.
He rejoined Wade with a darkened grimace. His claws ripping through the flesh of his knuckles as Wade pulled free the katanas strapped to his back. Your voice shouting his name set his entire body on edge; the urge to go to you, comfort the panic that filled your veins, nearly breaking his spirit.
But this was not your war and Logan would go down fighting before he let another person he loved fall into the hands of death.
"Alright," Wade grunted, cracking his neck. "Maximum effort."
Fortuna's whip snapped in the air, slicing a gaping hole in time as Logan and Wade charged. She leapt forward, boot pushing off the railing and toppling into them with a shout—a stolen knife carving into Logan's shoulder. He shoved her off, claws swiping for her neck, teeth bared in a snarl.
She ducked, foot slamming into Wade's stomach, rupturing the surrounding area with a blast that sent Logan sliding back into the dirt. He grunted, claws burying into the soil as Wade reached for his guns. A single katana forgotten on the ground.
"Pathetic," she sneered.
"Look who's talking McFly." Wade fired off three rounds, watching her roll to avoid the bullets, her hands crushing the dead grass beneath her.
She pointed to Wade. "You're first."
He laughed. "Bring it on you witch bitch."
Fortuna scoffed, glancing at Logan. "Does he ever shut the fuck up."
"Ha! Good luck with that. I can go on forever."
The whip unraveled from her wrist, rapidly slicing towards Wade—wrapping around his arm in a dramatic rendition of what already happened. This time he was prepared. Sprinting towards Logan, he rolled to the side as claws dragged down your arm. Opening a wound in her arm; blood pouring down her skin, dripping onto the grass.
“Fuck!” she snapped, knife lodging into Wade’s back as she leapt towards Logan.
His knee met her stomach, slamming her a few feet back until she landed on the ground. A groan reverberating in her chest.
Time flickered, punching them in the chest as they fought to move. Air rushed to his lungs as she stumbled to her feet—time falling back into place. Wade grabbed the second gun strapped to his thigh with a huff. The shot went off, the bullet finding its mark in Fortuna's wounded arm.
She screamed, falling to one knee—waves of blue pouring into the ground, forming a bubble of safety. She plucked at the fabrics of the universe, pulling them towards her as Wade pulled the trigger until the mag was empty. A pile of bullets by her body now trapped in light.
"Fuck!" Wade tossed his gun to the side.
Logan turned to see Laura holding you back, your face stricken in fear as you watched them battle it out. It was a struggle to have you here. To keep himself sane. He longed for you to be you close. What he wouldn’t give to take you away from all of this carnage. But you weren't safe as long as Fortuna was around.
She would always be a step behind, ready to chase him to the ends of this universe simply to watch him burn. He knew what he had to do. But the cost of making that choice weighed heavy on his chest—choking the very breath from his lungs. Wade could see it clear as day even as Fortuna began to build enough strength to keep herself going—to pull one final move.
With a shout, she swung her arms out, forcing enough energy their way to fling them into the air. Logan watched as spots began to form on his skin—time ripping away the very makeup of his DNA as she swung her whip in the air. It latched to his waist, dragging him forward until he was on his knees—body struggling to heal from something so unknown.
"Is she worth it?" she sneered, fingers curling into his hair to maneuver his head to keep his eyes on you. The struggle you put up to free yourself from Laura's grasp. "I'm going to kill her next Logan."
"No." He pushed against the vice of your whip, eyes latching onto the white streak hidden in your hair. A sign of what Fortuna had already started.
"I'll age her day by day, year by year, until she's dust."
"NO!"
She laughed, her lips brushing his cheek. "And you? You will have to live without her."
Tears stung his eyes when you finally managed to slip through Laura's hold, legs trembling as you forced your body to sprint his way. The sight of Logan's hair graying, wrinkles carving across his skin, brought you to the edge of your sanity. It ripped at your chest until blood poured from your heart. Staining the ground beneath you.
You couldn't lose him; you didn't know how to breathe without him. And you refused to watch him die from the sins of his past; actions he did not commit.
"Wait!" Laura shouted, running after you as Wade staggered to his feet.
"Angel!"
There was no thought process to your actions, no sense why you did what you did. All you could think about—all that filled your heart with dread—was the knowledge that Logan wouldn't survive this. He wouldn't be there to love you, give you the future you desperately ached for. He would never know you loved him.
That alone drove you forward with a pained cry.
Flinging yourself onto Fortuna, you sent the both of you flying a few feet away as Wade and Laura ran to rip her off you. But time stopped. Every sound stilled, and they were forced to stand and watch as Fortuna straddled your waist—her hands reaching for your throat.
"What do you have huh?" she snarled. "What the fuck do you have that I don't?"
"Please!" You punched her wherever you could reach, desperate to get her off of you. "He-"
"He what?"
"He wouldn't want you to do this Fortuna."
She laughed, manic enough to chill your heart with fear. "Who Logan? You think I fucking care? I would kill him in a-"
"CHARLES!" She froze, eyes flashing sapphire as her grip loosened. Giving you a chance to suck in air. "H-He loved you. Logan told me."
"Charles," she mumbled—a glimpse of your shared original color of her eyes coming through the expanse of white. "He's..."
"Dead." You gasped, turning to see three people you'd die for struggling against time—their bodies battling the power of someone far too corrupt. Someone who forgot where they came from; who their home was. "Your family...my family...they wouldn't want you to become this. P-Please. Charles, Jean, Storm. They didn’t want this for you."
She turned, gaze softening. "You would die for them."
Hot tears burned your frigid skin—falling down your temples and into your hair. "I would."
Stuttering out a breath, she fixed you with a gaze of someone you might have recognized in the mirror. A woman so broken by what time did to her. What the humans caused all because of her DNA. You wanted to promise that life might have turned out different if Logan stayed; that she would be safe. But even you knew it would be a lie.
There would be no saving her from the one thing that created her.
Time.
Leaning down, she pressed her forehead to yours—defeat curving around her shoulders, weighing heavy against her heart.
"Tell him I'm sorry," she murmured.
Pain detonated under your skin before you could open your mouth to respond, forcing your body to convulse in her tight grip. Scarred hands pressed tightly to your face, pinning you to the ground as her whip latched around your chest. Logan's roar became a distant buzzing sound that surrounded you as blue washed over your twisted bodies.
Her brows furrowed, eyes bleeding white as her iris began to form once more—the long lost color that matched your own gaze.
A mirror you wanted to shatter. Damn the bad luck that might befall you; this remained too agonizing to endure.
Her lips pressed to your ear, the pain ebbing from your veins with each pulsing wave. You clawed at her wrists, nails slicing through calloused skin as a scream erupted from the depths of your chest. Piercing the air and slamming directly into three chests.
People who were ripping at the ground to get to you—pulling their bodies across dirt as the curse of time began to lift from the air.
"Do better than me," she whispered, the hot drip of her tears mixing with your own.
Someone yanked her off of you, hurling her to the side with a familiar rumbled growl. You gasped for air, dragging your half limp body away from where Logan stood over her—claws a silver shine emanating with a promise.
"No!" Laura and Wade's hands clamped on your shoulders—keeping you at a safe enough distance. This time refusing to give you any leniency in your movements.
Logan lowered himself to one knee, chest heaving with stunted breaths as Fortuna lay before him—eyes wide with fear. He knew you were behind him. He could feel the burn of your gaze. But all the pain Fortuna caused began to splinter at what little mercy he might have held onto. Yet still the familiar fist of grief wrapped around his heart, reminding him of who Fortuna was.
The woman he once loved.
The woman he couldn't save.
"P-Please," she sighed, hand gripping onto his wrist, tugging his claws against her chest. "Before I hurt you Logan. Before I hurt her."
"I-" He squeezed his eyes shut to the sight of a you so broken—so defeated. "I'm sorry."
She grinned, eyes clear for the first time—weightless after such suffering. "It’s okay. I-I’ll get to see them again. Charles. Jean. Storm."
A sob wracked his body as he dragged her into his lap, hand cupping her face with the tenderness she deserved. "Tell them I'm sorry. Tell them..."
"I will," she murmured, allowing him the freedom to break the final vow of their love. "Till death huh baby?"
Your shouts of his name echoed in the background—Wade's voice mixing with Laura's—and suddenly Logan understood why he found himself here. Why he would stay.
They weren't just his family. They were pieces of his heart sliced open and bared to the ravages of the world. And he would be their protector. The one to meet what danger threatened them head on; willing to fight till his last breath.
He'd be the person he could never be for her.
"Of course," he sighed, tears streaking down his cheeks. "Till death."
"Love her," she breathed, cupping his cheek and forcing his claws to pierce her chest. He sliced through her with a choked shout, the warmth of her blood spilling over his hands. Tainting him further; breaking his already tormented heart. "Love her how you couldn't love me Logan."
"I will honey." Her eyes dragged to how you lay on the ground, Wade's body practically covering yours to keep you from getting any closer. "I promise."
Light flickered in her vision—white and blue and perfect—as Logan clutched her close. Sobbing over a woman he would forever hold the memory of. The last of his family that he couldn't save. Her lips curled into a smile—serenity glistening in her eyes—as a familiar voice echoed in her mind. Tugging her close into welcoming arms.
"Hello Fortuna."
She stuttered out what little breath remained in her chest, a tear slipping down her cheek. "Charles."
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"I like it," a voice mumbled, breaking through the darkness that shrouded your body. "And not just cause Ness has one."
A girl hummed. "It's cool."
"Very superhero."
You groaned, body battling any slight movement as your eyes fluttered open with a wince. Light streamed through a grand window, the bed too soft to be yours, yet you knew who sat beside you. Even through the blurred haze of vision, Wade's face was unmistakable. Shifting, you felt everything in you lock up—a hoarse cry falling past your lips.
Hands pushed you back down, steadying you gently as you were finally able to see the other person sitting on a table, munching on some fries. She had a shake beside her—feet propped up on the back of Wade's chair. The sunglasses she lost in the dirt were back atop her head, keeping her hair back.
"Whoa there angel face." He fluffed the pillow violently, jolting you slightly. "You've got two broken ribs and a wound across your torso that would give me being ripped in half by Juggernaut a run for my money."
"W-Where's-"
"Shhh." He raised a crystal glass of water to your lips. "Nurse Wade is here to take care of you. Sorry I don't have the outfit. I couldn't get to a Spirit Halloween in time."
Laura snorted into her food. "It's July."
"That doesn't matter. Those stores are like herpes. You can't ever get rid of that fucker."
"Where's Logan," you said through a broken whisper.
The silence isn't what scared you. No, you'd been through too much to be scared by the threat of nothing but melancholy looks in favor of telling you the truth. You could handle the quiet. What sent terror into your heart was the fact that you knew before you even opened your eyes where he was. His warmth was nowhere to be found in this bedroom; it barely lingered on your own body.
The man who held your heart, who promised to always protect you, was gone.
"No," you breathed, tears welling up and once again blurring your vision.
"He didn't want to go," Laura interjected.
You blinked furiously to keep them at bay. "What do you mean?"
"Fortuna." She pointed to the window that overlooked an expanse of green.
With a pained gasp, you turned to see what she was directing you towards—eyes fixing on a clearly buried grave covered in fresh dirt. A shovel stood straight, plunged a foot into the ground—the handle covered in a stain of deep brown.
Laura exhaled heavily. "She's dead. Logan buried her after he...killed her."
The breath rushed from your lungs, anguish slicing through your heart. "He..."
Wade nodded, somber and horrifyingly quiet. "He wanted to stay sweet angel. We forced him to go."
"Why?" you exclaimed, your body trembling under the stress of waking up too soon. "If he wanted to stay-"
"He was broken. I thought when I found him it was bad. This was worse angel face." Wade gathered your hands in his, drawing you close with a sigh. "He needs to grieve her."
"But I love him," you whimpered, unashamed by how fast the tears were falling. Laura watched you with the eyes of her father—striking your heart in a way that split you in two. "I-I didn't get to tell him."
"He knew," she murmured softly. "Trust me."
Wade pressed a swift kiss to your hands. "He'll come home. I made him fucking promise to return to you. But right now he's gotta figure some shit out."
Laura slipped off the table, curled onto the end of the bed and handed you something folded and crumpled—streaked in stains of blood and ink that bled through the thin notebook paper. You took it with a shaky breath, cold hands closing around hers with a grim smile. Something to let her know that you were thankful for everything she did.
She wasn't your daughter. This you knew. But you wouldn't mind if she bestowed that title on you one day.
In fact...you hoped she would.
"He told me to give that to you," she said, eyes brighter than before.
You sucked in a painful breath, unfolding the letter with trembling hands. Seeing his handwriting was like a punch to your chest. The smudged words and crossed out lines as he attempted to explain himself in words for the first time. This wasn't his forte—you understood that—but the fact that he tried filled your chest with warmth.
Honey,
Don't hate Wade or even my kid for me not being there. Believe me I fuckin' wanted to. Almost ripped him to pieces when he told me I had to go for your sake. But they were right. You Fortuna was the only family I had left. I have to remember what loving her felt like. I need to let her go.
Wade and Laura are there to protect you, care for you like I can't right now. But I made a promise to you and her. So you can expect me back one day.
I care about you
I love you.
So much.
I'll love you till the end honey. Don't forget that.
-Logan
You clutched the paper to your chest, salt coating your taste buds as you sobbed for the man that you failed to protect. You would have died for him. He knew this. Perhaps that's why he left; to give you a chance to heal without him. To return as the Logan you met, not the one mangled by grief.
Laura moved closer, her hand shifting to clutch yours as tears glistened in her eyes. A solemn smile on her face. This is what Logan offered you. People who loved you; people who would die for you. Logan made sure that even in his absence you'd be safe—protected.
He gave you the one thing he couldn't keep for himself. The one aspect of his life he had to learn to accept.
Logan left you a family.
note: my brain is mush but i love you guys. it will get better i promise!
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reidmarieprentiss · 2 days
Text
Good Boy
Summary: Based on this post from @reidsdimples ! Spencer is being a brat, you put him in his place.
Pairing: sub!Spencer Reid x Unit Chief fem!reader
Category: smut (18+)
Warnings/Includes: smut (18+) additional warnings under the cut, bratty Spencer, boss/subordinate relationship, mommy kink
Word count: 5.6k
a/n: for you @lovingreaderfangirl <333 this is basically pure smut ,, don't like it don't read it
main masterlist
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Additional warnings: sub!spencer, dom!reader, mommy!kink, handjob, edging (male receiving), overstimulation, unprotected PinV (wrap it before you tap it), oral (fem receiving), choking, slapping, slight nursing
You were the unit chief, and while your relationship with your boyfriend, Spencer, usually stayed out of your work life, today was different. Spencer had made a mistake, and to make things worse, he was acting out—whether it was from embarrassment or just a bad attitude, you weren’t sure, but you weren’t going to tolerate it.
"You will go back to that house and do another sweep," you said firmly, not looking up from the open case file on your desk.
Spencer scoffed, crossing his arms in defiance. "That's ridiculous, Y/N! Morgan’s already there," he snapped, his voice sharp.
Your head shot up at his words, your eyes narrowing in disbelief. "Ridiculous?" you repeated, incredulous. "No, Spencer. What's ridiculous is you missing a massive piece of evidence and then standing here arguing with me about it." Your tone dropped, icy and stern. "You will go back to that house and search it from top to bottom. I don’t care if it takes all night. Am I making myself clear?"
Spencer’s eyes flared with frustration, and he bit back, “So, what, you’re punishing me now?”
The edge in his voice wasn’t something you were used to hearing from your usually sweet, thoughtful Spencer. You stood up, moving around your desk with deliberate steps until you were standing close enough to feel the tension between you.
"Are you talking back to me?" you asked, your voice dangerously low, your authority unmistakable. 
Spencer swallowed, a flicker of uncertainty in his eyes as he realized how serious you were. He wasn’t used to seeing you like this—so angry, so venomous—but even though he was nervous, his stubbornness kept him from backing down just yet. 
Spencer straightened his posture, though his nerves betrayed him, making his hands fidget at his sides. He'd never seen you this mad before—at least, not directed at him—and he wasn’t sure how to handle it. But he felt too deep in this argument to backpedal now.
"I’m not talking back to you," Spencer muttered, though his tone remained defiant. "I’m just saying Morgan’s already there. There’s no reason for me to go too. We’re wasting time!" His voice escalated again, but it wavered slightly, showing the anxiety bubbling under his frustration.
You were having none of it.
“Wasting time? Is that what you think we’re doing here?” you snapped, each word clipped and precise, your gaze locked onto him with an intensity that made him shift uncomfortably. You were so close now that Spencer could see the tension in your jaw, feel the weight of your authority in the room. You weren’t his girlfriend in this moment—you were his boss, and you were demanding respect.
“Spencer,” your voice dropped, quieter but no less dangerous, “I don’t care how you feel about going back to that house. You missed something crucial, and you need to fix it. You messed up, and you know it. So stop acting like a petulant child and do your damn job.”
The words stung, more than he wanted to admit. His shoulders tensed, and he clenched his fists by his sides, but he couldn’t find the right words to argue back. He was embarrassed—not just because of his mistake, but because he knew you were right. But his pride was wounded, and that was hard to swallow.
"I... I just—" he started, but you cut him off sharply.
“No more excuses, Spencer. You will go to that house, and you will make sure every inch of it has been checked. And if I hear another word of backtalk from you, you’ll be off this case completely. Is that understood?"
Spencer’s breath hitched, his defiance slipping further away with each word you threw at him. He could feel the weight of the situation bearing down on him, and for the first time, he realized just how much he had crossed a line. But he was still too stubborn to admit it.
“Yes, Ma’am,” he muttered, his voice barely above a whisper, the edge of sarcasm still lingering, but now laced with a thread of defeat.
You stepped even closer, eyes narrowing as you stared him down. "What was that?"
Spencer swallowed hard, realizing he wasn’t in a position to push any further. “I understand,” he said more clearly, his tone softening. He wanted to reach for you, to find some semblance of the warmth he was used to from you, but he knew better. Right now, you weren’t his to reach for.
Without another word, he turned on his heel and stormed out of the office, leaving behind the tension that lingered like a storm cloud. You stood there for a moment, watching the door swing shut, anger still simmering beneath your skin, but also a twinge of sadness. Spencer had never acted out like that before, and though you knew you had to be stern, it hurt to see him so distant and defiant.
But this was work. Personal feelings would have to wait.
However, there was a time and place for personal feelings to come to the surface, and that time was now—in the privacy of your shared apartment with Spencer.
You had gotten home first. Spencer was still out, likely combing through the crime scene after you’d sent him back to fix his earlier mistake. Frustrated by the lingering tension between you two, you huffed your way through your evening routine. You made dinner, though you knew Spencer would probably be too upset to eat when he got home. He could have the leftovers later. After that, you showered and curled up in bed with a book, waiting for him to return.
When Spencer finally came home, his anger was palpable. He slammed the front door behind him, muttering under his breath as he left a trail of clothes through the hallway on his way to the shower. The bathroom door slammed shut as well, echoing through the apartment. You sighed and rolled your eyes—if Spencer thought his attitude would go unaddressed, he was mistaken. He was in for a real punishment tonight.
After what felt like forever, Spencer emerged from the bathroom, his hair damp and towel wrapped loosely around his waist. At least he had the sense to show a hint of submission, you thought.
Without looking up from your book, your voice calm and controlled, you gave your command. "Kneel."
Spencer froze, taken aback by the sudden authority in your tone. He turned his head, his confusion evident. "What?"
You set your book down slowly and fixed him with a steady gaze. "Did you not hear me? Or are you talking back again?" There was a warning in your voice, a promise that you weren’t playing games tonight. "I really don’t want to make your punishment worse, baby."
Spencer hesitated for a brief moment, the weight of the situation settling in, knowing you were in complete control now. He lowered his gaze, the tension between you thick, as he finally obeyed, dropping to his knees.
You stood up from the bed, your movements deliberate as you slowly circled around Spencer, letting your eyes roam over him with a quiet intensity. The soft sound of your bare feet against the floor was the only thing breaking the silence as you took in his posture—tense, but submissive, waiting for what was coming next. 
When you stopped in front of him, you reached down and tilted his chin up with a single finger, forcing him to meet your gaze. His eyes were defiant, even now. You smiled, but it didn’t reach your eyes.
"You know you’re in trouble, right, baby?" you asked, your voice sweet but laced with warning.
Spencer didn’t respond right away; instead, he narrowed his eyes at you, his lips pressed into a thin line, as if testing how far he could push. Without hesitation, you slapped his face lightly, the quick sting enough to make him let out a soft whimper. His eyes widened in surprise, but he still held his ground.
Roughly, you grabbed his cheeks in one hand, squeezing his face so he had no choice but to focus on you. "I asked you a question, brat."
“Yes, Mommy," he mumbled, his voice small and obedient now, the fight in him fading. "I know I’m in trouble."
"Hmm, good," you said, releasing his face with a satisfied hum. You began pacing around him again, like a predator stalking its prey, before stopping just behind him, leaning close enough that your breath tickled his ear. "And why are you in trouble, smart boy?"
Spencer swallowed hard, his throat bobbing. "Because I argued with you. I was disrespectful. I–I acted like a brat."
A smirk tugged at the corner of your lips. "That’s right." You stood up straight again, looking down at him. "And now, you're going to make it up to me, aren’t you?"
Spencer nodded, his face falling into a sad expression, clearly regretting how he had acted earlier. He was always your good boy, and he knew that punishment was rare because he hardly ever misbehaved. The realization of how far he'd pushed you today weighed on him, leaving him feeling small and upset.
"Why are you pouting, baby?" you asked, your tone softening just a touch as you stood in front of him, looking down at his bowed head.
Spencer shrugged, his eyes fixed on the floor, unable to meet your gaze. He shifted uncomfortably, his hands fidgeting slightly in his lap, but still, he said nothing.
"Words, Spencer," you reminded him firmly. "Speak up."
He hesitated for a moment before finally looking up at you, his eyes filled with guilt. "I hate that I disappointed you," he admitted, his voice barely a whisper. "I don’t like being punished… you never have to do this. I’m supposed to be your good boy."
You felt a flicker of sympathy for him, knowing how much he valued pleasing you, but you held firm. "Yes, you are supposed to be my good boy," you agreed, leaning down slightly so that your eyes were level with his. "But today, you weren’t. Today, you acted like a bad boy, and now, you have to accept the consequences."
Spencer bit his lip, nodding again, the weight of his actions settling in further. "I know… I’m sorry."
You placed a gentle hand on his cheek, stroking it softly for just a moment before pulling back. "Thank you for apologizing. But you still need to learn."
“Stand up. Don’t keep the towel,” you ordered, your voice cold and almost bored, leaving no room for hesitation. Spencer flinched at the command, the sharp tone slicing through the air as he scrambled to comply. The towel slipped from his body, falling to the floor as he stood there, bare and vulnerable.
“Get on the bed,” you continued, moving with a quiet precision as you retrieved something from the dresser, your back turned to him. “Hands above your head.”
Spencer couldn’t see what you were holding, and that only added to his nervousness. He climbed onto the bed, his heart racing, and stretched his arms above his head, just as you instructed. 
When you finally turned back toward him, he caught sight of the ties and lube in your hands, and his body reacted instantly—a slight twitch of excitement mixed with fear. His breath quickened, but his eyes never left yours. He hated the feeling of being restrained, of not being able to touch you, to feel you close. But there was something intoxicating about the power dynamic, about giving himself over to you completely.
You approached him slowly, deliberately, the ties dangling from your fingers like a silent promise of what was to come. Without saying a word, you moved to the head of the bed, taking his wrists gently but firmly and securing them to the bedposts. Spencer’s chest rose and fell rapidly as the ties tightened around his wrists, his muscles straining, already longing to break free.
His eyes searched yours, desperate for any hint of softness, but he found none. You were in control, and he knew it.
"Mommy," Spencer whimpered softly, his voice barely above a whisper, full of need and desperation.
You glanced down at him, your gaze calm and measured. "Yes, baby?"
His eyes flickered with longing as he whined, "I want to touch you."
A sigh escaped your lips, and you leaned down slightly, your fingers brushing lightly along his arm, teasing but not giving him what he wanted. "I want that too, my love," you murmured, your voice laced with a touch of sympathy, though your expression remained stern. "But I can't give you a reward quite yet."
"Yet?" Spencer perked up, excitement sparking in his eyes, the word like a glimmer of hope he clung to.
You smirked at his eagerness, trailing your hand down his chest in a feather-light touch, just enough to make him squirm. "Yet," you confirmed. "But you'll have to earn it, baby. That means no whining, no more attitude. Understand?"
Spencer nodded eagerly, his eyes wide with anticipation, but you could see the struggle in him—how hard it was for him to hold back, to stay restrained when all he wanted was to feel you. "I’ll be good," he promised, his voice shaky. "Please, I’ll be good."
You smiled, your fingers trailing lower. "We'll see, baby. We'll see."
Spencer squirmed involuntarily as your fingers teased his stomach, his muscles tensing beneath your touch. "Keep still, Spence," you instructed, your voice firm but calm, watching as he took deep, shaky breaths in an attempt to regain control over his body.
His wide eyes followed your every move as you reached for the bottle of lube on the bedside table, and he watched, anticipation building, as you squirted some of its contents into your hand. The cool sensation made his breath hitch the moment your hand wrapped around him, his back arching off the bed instinctively.
Without missing a beat, you placed your other hand on his hips, pressing him back down into the mattress. "Spencer, be good," you warned, your tone leaving no room for disobedience.
His body trembled, caught between the overwhelming sensation and the need to obey you. "I’m trying," he whispered, his voice strained as he fought to stay still, his knuckles turning white as he gripped the ties. His chest heaved, desperate to be good for you, but the pleasure was intoxicating, testing his restraint.
You smirked, knowing exactly how far you could push him. "Good boy," you murmured, your hand moving slowly, deliberately, keeping his hips pinned down as he tried not to writhe beneath you, every muscle in his body begging for release, but you weren’t done with him yet. Not even close.
After almost an hour of torture, Spencer was doing everything in his power to follow your rules, his body taut with tension as he tried to stay still beneath your touch. His breath came in ragged gasps, his wrists pulling at the ties as he strained not to buck his hips against you. But you were making it so hard for him—each time your hand changed pace, it sent him spiraling, his mind spinning out of control. You could feel his body tightening, every muscle coiling as he teetered on the edge.
And just when you knew he was close, so close, you let go.
A desperate sound tore from his throat, half whine, half groan, as you pulled your hand away, denying him the release he so desperately craved. His eyes were wide, his chest heaving as he looked up at you, practically begging for mercy.
"Please," he whimpered, his voice cracking under the weight of his desperation. "Please, I want—"
You shushed him gently, running your hand down his chest in a soothing gesture. "Spencer," you said softly but firmly, your eyes locking onto his. "What did I say about being good?"
"I-I’m trying," he gasped, his voice shaky as he fought to hold on. "I’m really trying."
You could see him unraveling, his mind quickly losing grip on any sense of control. And that was exactly where you wanted him.
"Then keep trying, baby," you whispered, leaning down to press a soft kiss to his chest. "You’ll get what you want when I’m ready to give it to you. Not a moment before."
You sped your hand up, focusing all your attention on the sensitive tip, moving with quick, intense strokes. Spencer's body reacted immediately, his back arching violently off the bed as a scream tore from his chest.
"Mommy! Please!" His voice cracked, high and desperate, tears beginning to stream from his eyes as he lost all composure. "I’m going to come!"
But instead of granting him mercy, you snapped sharply, "No!" The command echoed in the room, and Spencer flinched at your tone. "If you come," you warned, your eyes dark and unwavering, "I’m not stopping."
His breath hitched, and his sobs grew more frantic. He fought to control himself, but the sensation was overwhelming, his mind teetering on the brink of bliss and despair. The threat of what would come if he disobeyed hung heavy in the air, fueling his panic as he tried, with every ounce of strength, to hold back the release his body so desperately craved.
"Please," Spencer sobbed, his tears mixing with the sweat on his face as his entire body trembled beneath your relentless touch. "I-I can’t… I can’t hold on…"
"Yes, you can," you whispered, your voice soft but commanding as you leaned closer. "You will, or you’ll regret it, baby. Be good for me."
He choked out a whimper, his muscles straining, teetering on the edge of breaking as your hand continued its torturous rhythm, and every nerve in his body screamed for release. But you were in control, and Spencer knew there would be no relief until you decided. 
You pressed your palm firmly against the sensitive tip, rubbing harsh circles that sent shockwaves through Spencer’s body. He couldn't hold it any longer—a guttural scream tore from his throat as his orgasm ripped through him, his release spilling across his stomach in hot, frantic bursts.
But there was no mercy in your eyes as you watched him unravel beneath you.
"Oh… bad boy, baby," you tutted softly, your voice laced with both disappointment and a dark edge of amusement. Without missing a beat, you gripped him tightly, continuing your mean, relentless rhythm even as his body spasmed from the intensity.
Spencer writhed beneath you, his sobs louder now as the overstimulation set in, his body too sensitive to handle the unyielding pace of your hand. "Please, please!" he begged, his voice hoarse, his tears mixing with the sweat on his face. "I-I can’t—please stop, I’m sorry!"
But you only leaned in closer, your hand maintaining its punishing rhythm. "I told you, baby," you whispered, your breath hot against his ear, "if you came, I wouldn’t stop. And bad boys don’t get to decide when it’s over."
Spencer whimpered helplessly, his entire body shaking as he endured the overwhelming sensations, unable to escape the torment of your touch. The line between pleasure and pain had long since blurred, leaving him at your mercy. And you weren't done with him yet. 
You suddenly let go of Spencer, pulling your hand away from him. For a brief moment, he thought the torture had finally ended, and he took deep, strained breaths, his chest heaving as tears continued to spill from his eyes. 
"Thank you, Mommy," he whispered, his voice barely audible as he sighed in relief, closing his eyes as if he could finally rest.
But just as he began to relax, his eyes shot open, wide with shock, as he felt you sinking down on top of him, your body enveloping him in an overwhelming rush of sensation. The overstimulation hit him like a bolt of electricity, and his body reacted instantly, thrashing beneath you in a desperate attempt to escape the intensity.
"Mommy!" he cried out, his voice ragged and broken as his body twisted under yours. His muscles tensed, his movements frantic, but there was no escape.
"Shut up," you seethed, your voice low and dangerous as you wrapped your hand around his throat, tightening your grip just enough to still him. His breath hitched, and his panicked eyes met yours. "I’m in charge," you reminded him, the weight of your authority pressing down on him as surely as your body did.
Spencer whimpered beneath your grip, his mind a haze of overstimulation and helplessness, but he knew better than to argue with you. His resistance faded as he realized you weren’t done with him yet—not until you decided.
"Tell me, baby," you panted, your body moving rhythmically as you rode Spencer, chasing your own release with relentless intensity. Every roll of your hips drove him deeper into overstimulation, but you were in control, and you weren’t letting up. "How does it feel?"
Spencer sniffled, his voice shaky and tear-filled. "S-so good, Mommy," he stammered, struggling to hold himself together as his body continued to tremble beneath you.
You laughed, the sound sharp and mean as you continued, "Thought you couldn’t take it." There was a mocking edge to your voice as you rode him harder, the sensation overwhelming his senses. "Were you lying?"
"No!" Spencer cried, his voice breaking as he clung to the edge of his composure. "It—it hurts, Mommy, but I like it!"
"Yes, yes, you do," you taunted, your tone dripping with satisfaction as you gazed down at him, your pathetic, brainless boy. "You like it when Mommy uses you, don’t you?"
"Yes!" he nearly screamed, his body shaking uncontrollably, caught between pain and pleasure. "Please! Just want to be good for you," he sobbed, his desperation palpable as he surrendered completely to your control.
You leaned forward, your lips brushing against his ear as you whispered, "Then be good, baby, and take everything I give you." Your body continued to grind down on him, mercilessly chasing your own release, pushing him further past the point of no return.
By the time you reached your release, Spencer was a wreck beneath you, his body trembling as sobs wracked his chest. He cried out in desperation as your muscles tightened around him, sending him further into an abyss of overstimulation. Each second felt like an eternity for him, trapped between the aching pleasure and the need to obey you.
Just when he thought relief was finally coming, you lifted yourself off of him, hovering just above him, denying him that final push he needed. Spencer’s whine was pitiful, filled with frustration and longing. "Mommy! Please!" he whimpered, his voice cracking as tears continued to stream down his face.
"Please what?" you asked, your tone deliberately condescending as you leaned back, watching him squirm beneath you. "Use your words, dumb baby."
Spencer swallowed hard, his body twitching with anticipation, his mind too clouded to do anything but beg. "Please let me come," he sobbed, his voice raw and desperate. "Please, Mommy."
You smirked, your eyes dark with amusement as you leaned forward just enough to tease him with the possibility of what he wanted. "Hmm… okay, baby," you said, your voice dripping with false sweetness. "But you’re cleaning it up after."
Spencer twitched at your words, his entire body lighting up with excitement at the promise. The thought of finally getting the release he so desperately needed was enough to make him shiver. "Yes, Mommy," he gasped, nodding eagerly as his breath hitched in anticipation, his mind already surrendering completely to your control.
You lowered yourself back down onto Spencer, and his loud, desperate moan filled the room as he watched you take him in again, the sight alone enough to push him closer to the edge. His body was trembling, every nerve on fire as you rode him hard and fast, the intensity of your movements leaving him powerless to do anything but submit. 
His hands tugged against the restraints, his eyes squeezed shut, and with a strangled cry, he found his release, his body jerking as he filled you up. The sensation of you pinching and tugging at his nipples sent him over the edge, his cries growing louder as his body finally gave in completely.
You slowed your pace, riding out the last of his climax, before finally relaxing on top of him, your breath steadying. Spencer lay beneath you, panting and exhausted, his chest heaving as he came down from the overwhelming high.
With a soft sigh, you pulled off him, moving up his body with a deliberate slowness, positioning yourself directly over his face. You looked down at him, your fingers gently brushing through his hair as you smiled wickedly. "Ready to clean up your mess, baby?"
Spencer’s eyes widened, his mouth already watering at the thought, and he nodded eagerly, his voice breathless and submissive. "Yes, Mommy, please," he whispered, his eyes full of adoration as he awaited your command, ready to obey, to please, and to make up for every bit of his earlier defiance.
You lowered yourself onto Spencer's waiting mouth, threading your fingers through his hair as you settled into a steady rhythm, guiding his movements with gentle yet firm pressure. His tongue worked eagerly, desperate to please you, to clean up every bit of the mess he'd made.
“Oh, Spence,” you sighed, your head falling back slightly as you rode his face, each stroke of his tongue sending waves of pleasure through your body. "Your mouth is so good, baby."
Spencer whimpered in response, his efforts growing more determined with every sound of approval that escaped your lips. You could feel the way he was trying so hard to be good for you, to make you proud, and it only fueled your desire to push him further.
"Making Mommy so proud," you praised, your voice laced with satisfaction as you tugged gently at his hair, controlling his pace. His tongue flicked faster, more desperate to hear those words again, and you couldn't help the soft moans escaping you as you continued to ride his face, letting the sensation build.
With each passing second, Spencer's mouth worked harder, your praise driving him to do anything for you. His whimpers were muffled by your body, but the eagerness in his touch and the way he responded to your every command made it clear—he was willing to do anything to make you proud.
You continued to ride Spencer’s face, your fingers tightening in his hair as you guided him, making sure he stayed exactly where you needed him. His tongue flicked and swirled in all the right places, and the sounds of your pleasure spurred him on, his hands instinctively tugging against the restraints as he longed to touch you, to feel your body against his.
"That’s it, baby," you breathed, your voice a mix of praise and moans as you pressed down harder, your body shivering from the sensations he was creating. "You’re making Mommy feel so good."
Spencer whimpered beneath you, the vibrations of his muffled cries only adding to your pleasure as you ground down onto him, riding his mouth with a newfound urgency. Your hips moved faster, chasing the climax that was building inside you, each stroke of his tongue sending you closer to the edge.
"You like this, don’t you?" you asked, your voice breathless but firm. "You like being my toy, Spence?"
His desperate whimpers were the only answer you needed. You tugged harder at his hair, pulling his face closer, your pace quickening as the pleasure began to overwhelm you. Spencer’s tongue moved in perfect rhythm with your hips, eager to push you to your peak.
As the tension built, you gasped, your body trembling as you felt yourself nearing the brink. "I’m so proud of you, baby," you whispered, your voice strained as you rode out the waves of pleasure. "So proud…"
With a final, desperate grind against his mouth, the climax washed over you, your body convulsing as you cried out, the release crashing through you in waves. Spencer didn't stop, his tongue continuing to work, not wanting you to take away his favorite treat. 
His mouth and tongue continued their relentless work, his eagerness only spurring you on as your cries grew louder. "Oh! Good boy!" you gasped, the praise slipping from your lips as your hips thrust faster against his mouth, riding the wave of pleasure that was building once again.
"You like tasting yourself?" you panted, your breath coming in short, sharp bursts as your body moved with a desperate rhythm. Spencer moaned beneath you, his muffled response sending vibrations through your core, and it only drove you to push harder against him.
"Like it coming out of me?" you taunted, your voice strained and full of need as you felt his tongue lapping eagerly at the mess you had made together. The idea of him cleaning up his own release, desperate to please you, sent shivers down your spine, adding to the already overwhelming sensation.
Spencer whimpered beneath you, his body reacting to your words even as he remained restrained, helpless to do anything but obey. The combination of your command, the praise, and the undeniable power you held over him had him lost in submission, and you could feel the tension building in both of you again.
"Such a good boy," you praised, your voice trembling with the intensity of your pleasure. "So good at doing exactly what Mommy needs." You rode him harder, your body nearing its limit once more as Spencer's tongue worked tirelessly beneath you.
The room was filled with the sounds of your panting breaths, your moans mixing with Spencer's muffled noises as he continued to drive you closer to the edge. Your body trembled uncontrollably, your hips grinding down faster, chasing that final release.
With a breathless cry, your third climax crashed through you, your entire body quivering as Spencer’s tongue carried you over the edge once again. You moaned his name, gripping his hair tightly as you rode out the waves of pleasure, not slowing until every last bit of satisfaction had pulsed through you.
You pulled yourself off of Spencer, and immediately he let out a whine, his lips pouting in protest, not wanting you to take his favorite treat away, he could eat you out for hours. His neediness tugged at your heart, and you couldn’t help but smile as you gently stroked his hair.
"Baby, Mommy is sensitive," you said softly, your voice filled with affection. 
Spencer pouted even more, his eyes big and round as he mumbled, "I just wanna make you feel good."
"You did make me feel so good, baby," you reassured him, your smile widening as you saw his face light up, the joy radiating from his eyes.
"Am I your good boy again?" he asked, his voice tinged with hope and a bit of that endearing vulnerability that always made you melt.
Your heart softened instantly, and you leaned down, cupping his face in your hands as you pressed a tender kiss to his lips. "You’re always my good boy," you whispered against his mouth. "I love you so much."
"I love you too, Mommy," he murmured, his voice thick with emotion, eyes full of adoration.
After you untied him, you took your time massaging his arms and wrists, soothing the slight redness left behind by the ties. You helped him into the shower with you, gently guiding him as he leaned heavily against you, still needing your care. The warm water cascaded over both of you as you softly washed his body, your touches gentle and nurturing. Spencer rested his head against your shoulder, completely relying on your strength, his exhaustion clear as he sighed softly, content in your embrace.
Once you were both dried off and dressed for bed, you brought him back to the comfort of your bed, where you massaged lotion into his arms, making sure he felt taken care of. Your lips peppered soft kisses over his skin as you worked, your voice a soothing murmur as you whispered how good he was, how proud you were of him.
"You’re so good, Spencer," you murmured between kisses. "Always my good boy."
Spencer sighed, his body fully relaxed now as he basked in your affection, letting your words and touch wash over him like a warm blanket. His eyes fluttered closed, a small smile playing on his lips as you continued to kiss and praise him, reminding him of just how much he meant to you.
“Mommy…” Spencer’s voice was soft, hesitant, as he lay beside you, his head resting on your chest.
“Mhm?” you murmured back, feeling the weight of tiredness pulling at you, though still present enough to listen to him.
“Can I suck…?” His voice trailed off, filled with uncertainty.
You giggled softly, a wave of affection washing over you for your needy little baby. "Of course, Spence," you murmured, lifting your shirt to give him the comfort he craved.
Without hesitation, Spencer nestled his head underneath, latching onto your breast with a soft sigh. His body relaxed against yours, and you could feel the tension melt away as he suckled gently, his breathing becoming slow and steady.
You stroked his hair lovingly, the intimate moment between you quiet and peaceful. “You’re such a good boy,” you whispered softly, letting him find the comfort he needed as you both slowly drifted off to sleep, his head resting safely against your chest.
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tag list <333 @dirtytissuebox @yokaimoon @noelliece @dreamsarebig @sleepey-looney @cocobean16 @placidus @criminalmindssworld @lilu842 @greatoperawombategg @charismatic-writer @fxoxo @hearts4spensco @furrybouquettrash @kathrynlakestone @chaneladdicted @time-himself @mentallyunwellsposts @sapph1re @idefktbh17 @gilwm @reggieswriter @loumouse @spencerreidsreads @i-live-in-spite @fanfic-viewer @bootylovers44 @atheniandrinkscoffee @niktwazny303 @dead-universe @hbwrelic @kniselle @cynbx @danielle143 @katemusic @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @laurakirsten0502 @geepinky @mxlviaa @libraprincessfairy @fortheloveofgubler @super-nerd22 @k-illdarlings @softestqueeen @eliscannotdance
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olderthannetfic · 2 days
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I accidentally killed my own desire to write, and I need some advice. To be really blunt about it, what's the point of writing? When I would spend lots of time laboring over making a good story with a plot and characters who were in-character and connecting all the dots narratively so payoffs were satisfying, my reward was dead silence and virtually no clicks. I posted some mindless smut to my side account one day and got more hits in a day than most of my other works combined got in a year. I know, I know. "Write for ~*~yourself~*~" is the common response. It's the "be yourself!" of writing. It's supposed to be a magical phrase that'll make everything okay. But... I don't like knowing that something I spend months working on won't be read by anyone while something I write in a car while bored got thousands of clicks. I don't like making something I'm proud of and then no one ever looks at it. That's not fun for me. It's not fulfilling.
For a solid decade, I've tried to ignore how the level of interactivity in fandom is falling. Fewer comments. Fewer kudos. No comments in the bookmarks. You put your tumblr and Discord in the AN and get a handful of asks and one person who adds you, talks to you twice and then ghosts you. Most of the comments are "well, actuallys", made even more annoying by them being wrong as opposed to actually correcting an error. I avoid fandom drama, wank, and infighting. I don't engage with things I know will make me unhappy. I try to be happy over in my own little corner. I comment on every single work I read. I want people to enjoy fandom. I used to.
Some dumb smut I wrote in 40 minutes gets five times the hits of the writing I'm most proud of, and it gets it in just under three months. I am not a great smut writer. I haven't stumbled onto an incredible talent I had that makes it so the issue is that I'm so amazing my smut brings all the boys to the yard. People just don't like what I write and put effort into. It's very likely that despite 20 years of writing fic, I suck at writing. And people enjoy my writing most when they don't have to put up with anything substantial and can just skip to the sex.
So for the last eight months, when I write, I just sort of give up. Close the Word doc without saving. No one will read this. No one cares about this. There is no fan eagerly awaiting every update like I await updates from my favorite authors. There's not even someone saying, "update soon!" Close the Word doc. Delete old WIPs. There's no point. I do not tell stories worth reading. I used to. In the FFN days people genuinely enjoyed my work. I'd never have had an opportunity to do the 'I won't update until I get 3 reviews' thing because getting that many on a chapter was usually something I'd do overnight. Post before bed. Wake up. Read the reviews before school. I peaked in high school, I guess.
And now I'm just sort of lost. I still have lots of ideas. Ideas for fics fall into my head all the time. That's never been a problem. What I don't have is any motivation to write them. What's the point of writing? If no one else is reading, I guess the point would be so I could go back and read my own story and have fun with it. Write for myself. But I can review the story and have fun with it in my head without writing it down. It's substantially faster and more importantly, isn't incredibly depressing.
So, at the risk of definitely being calld the second-coming of True Art Anon or a troll or validation-seeking or haha mentally ill haha... what's the point of writing?
--
Okay, so write porn in a car while you're bored.
Look, you can whine all you want about my response, but what you've written here is blatantly about depression.
Lots of people in fandom are still interacting. And no, it isn't just on fics that are objectively written to some pro fiction standard or whatever. Teenagers still breathlessly review poorly spelled cracky masterpieces about this year's big anime and so forth.
Yes, there may be reasons why you in particular are in a slump when it comes to fandom friendships or "plz update" comments. We can talk about that. But this ask is all gloom about fandom in general. That's not realism: that's you having a problem.
--
As for why a person should write: because the actual hours you spend doing the writing are fun.
If they aren't pleasurable in some way, find another hobby.
--
But if you want an answer to the age old "Why did my 5 minute fic get 1000000x more asspats", I've seen meta about this for literally decades.
The most likely reason is that the fic we write quickly and without much thought often feels fresher and more fun. The things we labor over endlessly can feel overworked. Even in cases where they don't, they're often heavier subject matter or more niche subject matter. On top of all that, we just care more, so even a high level of feedback doesn't really feel like enough for the effort and care we put in.
--
Do you really need me to tell you why you don't feel the same as in high school when things were fresh and new?
Go read up on combatting burnout or dealing with post-college anxiety or managing stress in a dead-end job in your 30s or finding meaning in your 40s or whatever is going on.
Everyone goes through fallow periods in fandom and in life.
Feeling reinvigorated has to do with internal factors and some general life circumstance stuff. It doesn't have that much to do with number of kudos. That's just the surface trigger for a mood that was already there.
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mbsneur · 1 day
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Game on: Love in play
Aggie Beever-Jones x Reader
hey my love i have a new fic for you and i hope you like it i am open to any kind of opinion and i would love to hear your wishes!🩵
Summary: Since Aggie started playing FIFA, she has neglected your sex life.
WC: 1033
Warnings: Smut18+ minors DNI, someone might notice the sex, Cunnilingus, swallow
My Masterlist
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You have been going out with Aggie for 2 years, you share a flat and your sex life is good, until Aggie started playing FIFA with her friends a few weeks ago.
You craved sex, her strong hand around your neck, her bright blue eyes looking at you when you came. You didn't even remember how her fingers felt inside you. It all made you frustrated. She came home from training, sat in front of the TV, waited for dinner and came to bed late. She had no time for sexual activity at all.
You have called her a few times, or asked her to go to bed earlier, or put on the underwear she loves so much, or tried to have sleepy morning sex, but Aggie has no time, not even for cuddles.
Just like today, when Aggie came home from training and sat down in front of her console, you're so common you're about to touch yourself if Aggie doesn't come to bed with you.
you make your way from the kitchen to aggie on the couch, you make your last attempt to make physical contact with her as you reach the living room a cosy aggie greets you, she smiles tenderly at you "wait a minute y/n is here" she says to her friends, muting her microphone
You crawl over to her on the couch and she lifts her arm so you can lie underneath it and gives you a gentle kiss on the forehead, "Aggie, I miss you," you say, putting your hand around her cheek and spreading little kisses on her neck.
"I'm coming to bed early tonight," she says with a sigh, trying to push you away, "Aggie, please, I need you so bad," you say, breathing lightly and taking her earlobe between your teeth.
"Just this one more round and then I'm all yours, okay?" she says softly as you put your hand on her controller to switch the silent mode, she gives you a grumpy look before you climb on top of her and start kissing her neck again. "Yes, I'm back," Aggie says laughing to her friends.
You pluck at her white top and kiss the exposed skin of Aggie's shoulders. She hasn't stopped talking to her friends for a second. In the meantime, she kicks the blanket away with her feet. "Do you want to play with me?" she says after she has put herself back on mute. You look at her tenderly. "Aggie, I want you to fuck me and that's the only way I get what I want," you say in a raspy voice.
Aggie puts her bottom lip between her teeth, turns her head and smiles. "You better hurry up then," she says. You smile at her, your eyes holding hers for a moment before turning back to her belly and pulling her top upwards.
you kiss her belly passionately, and she squirms under you on top you stifle her grunts with your free hands. You pull her shorts off her legs she helps you to do it
You remove her shorts and kiss her thighs, keeping as quiet as possible. You push her legs further apart and find her limp against you. She is still playing fifa and her friends have just scored a goal against her.
You look at her and wait for approval. Your fingers play with Aggie’s underwear. You slip your finger under the waistband of her underwear and smile at her in a confident, turned-on way. You let the waistband snap against her bare skin. Aggie flinches and lets out a soft whimper.
She shakes her head and takes your mouth between her hands, "You better finish this before I fuck myself, I‘m serious," she says after muting her microphone again.
„Yeah, it's okay," you roll your eyes. Finally, you pull her underwear down her legs.
She moves a little and tries to hold back. You smell her, the smell you missed so much, full of hunger. You work your way from her inner thigh to her core. You mark her everywhere you could find space. She grunts under you and bites her lips. She tries to put sentences together to talk to her friends. Her breathing becomes irregular the higher you go. You lick from her wet hole to her swollen clitoris, and her legs twitch around you. All you can think of is Aggie coming. You moan about her taste and take it all teasingly.
You didn't want to tease her further and start working more precisely on her pussy, she throw her head back and whimpers. She was so turned on she could hardly concentrate on the game, it was hard to be quiet. You spin firm circles around her hole, and with every bump your nose tip hits her clitoris.
Aggie hisses and closes her legs a little more. You squeeze your hands between her legs and look up at her. Your nose is covered with her juices. "Swallow it," she whispers to you, and you begin to take in every drop of liquid and swallow. The sounds you make as you do so make Aggie moan for you as she longs for release.
You push your tongue harder into her hole and thrust into her as she wriggles under you. You realise she's getting closer and you know how to make her climax. She struggles to hold the controller in her hand. Her friends have been annoyed with her a few times for missing passes. She squirms under you and breathes heavily with her mouth open. Her pussy clenches around your tongue. Her hips start to bounce in time with your tongue and you moan at her taste. One of her hands lets go of the controller and reaches into your hair. She pushes you closer to where she needs you most. Her hand tightens against your scalp until her hands finally leave the controller and she comes. Her leg muscles tighten and clench around your head. The veins in her neck stand out. Her hips jut up against your face and you guide her through her orgasm until she pushes your head away with the hand that was tangled in your hair.
when she has recovered a little you look at her dishevelled, your face wet 'i'm calling it a day, see you tomorrow at training' she says to her friends, putting down her microphone she closes the game before jumping over to you you jump up squealing and screaming as aggie runs after you
Tell me your opinion <33
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gerogerigaogaigar · 3 days
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Phineas and Ferb fascinates me from a structural standpoint. I'll admit I haven't watched the show front to back, but I've caught the odd episode here and there and I certainly get the gist of it.
The first time I saw P&F it seemed charming but unremarkable, the second and probably third time it became obvious that it was a clever but formulaic show. At some point it clicked. Children's shows are usually formulaic, Dee Dee will destroy Dexter's invention, Elmer Fudd will fail to hunt the Wabbit, He-Man will defeat Skeletor, and Sisyphus will roll that boulder up that hill. Phineas and Ferb asks not just that we imagine Sisyphus happy, but that we imagine that he is ecstatic to see that boulder roll down the hill.
Where the status quo is an unspoken rule of older cartoons it is the explicit law of the P&F universe. There is a roadmap to every episode, you probably already know it but I will spell it out regardless. Phineas will say the phrase "I know what we're gonna do today" thus kicking off their project for the episode. Candace will try and fail to get them "busted". There will be a musical number. Meanwhile Doofenshmirtz will have made an -inator that Perry will be called upon to destroy. Perry will get caught, Doofenshmirtz will explain his plan, Perry will escape, destroy the -inator and the ensuing chaos will clean up Phineas and Ferb's backyard shenanigans just in time for their mom to get home. Ferb says something at the very end, often his only line in the whole episode. The end.
There are stock lines that must be said. "I know what we're gonna do today" "I wonder where Perry is" "Busted" "🎵Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated🎶". The show doesn't just have a cartoon status quo, the universe operates off of the laws of cartoon status quo to the extent that characters actively notice when the cycle doesn't complete correctly. The characters seemingly know that their world operates on cartoon physics, but to them it's just physics. In P&F a giant whirlwind carrying away a giant backyard amusement park is as natural as gravity.
Candace's place as the character who knows this is all insane must be a tortuous existence considering the whole world is conspired against her. Not out of a cosmic meanness but a deep thematic kindness. Candace is the only character whose intent is to cause purposeful harm and the universe will not let her get away with it.
Truly this is one of the most unerringly kind shows I've ever seen. It is unreal how much faith it puts into wordplay, running jokes, and raw absurdity to carry itself while never stepping into the realm of cartoon cruelty.
You know cartoon cruelty. It's why Tom gets punished for Jerry's actions and why the Trix rabbit can never eat his own damn cereal. At its best cartoon cruelty manifests as Ed, Edd n Eddy or the Looney Tunes short Duck Amok where there is catharsis in seeing the characters hoisted by their own petard. At its worst you get CatDog which is so intensely cruel to the character of Cat that I can't comprehend what the writers were going for.
The confident lack of irony is part of what makes Phineas And Ferb work. The show is a parade of cartoon cliches and dad jokes and it never it never winks at the viewer or lampshades how silly this is. It just has absolute faith that the corniest jokes ever really are that funny. And so they are. I actually laugh out loud every time they do the "Aren't you a little young for this?" "Yes, yes I am" bit. Maybe it's the delivery, maybe it's just the confidence in the bit. Probably a bit of both. I am smiling to myself just thinking of this dumb running joke.
But what this all amounts to is what every bit of fandom wankery amounts to. I am of course talking about shipping. For my money the best bit in the show is the romantic framing of Doofenshmirtz and Perry's rivalry. This is where the show's cartoon logic and unrepentant kindness synthesize perfectly. The homoerotic undertones of the spy/supervillain dynamic are an extremely tired observation and are usually only emphasized in an ironic sense to poke fun at pieces that never intended the gay subtext. P&F flips this joke by not being even a little bit ironic about it, but still adhering to the unspoken nature of the gag.
The end result is that Perry and Doofenshmirtz's status as a romantic couple is tacitly understood to be part of the shows status quo, but never commented on. The world of P&F is too inherently kind to be homophobic (homophobia being a key component of the joke) but it still has a joke shaped hole to fill. So it does the funniest possible thing and fills the hole with nothing. The joke is the lack of a joke. The expectation of a joke that is met with a shrug from the show's own internal logic. And that's really funny. An evil scientist and a platypus are in a loving relationship that happens to also be a hero/villain rivalry. Don't worry about it. It's not the weirdest thing happening in the tri state area I promise.
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theamazingmuse · 1 day
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Does anyone said WINTER ARC ?
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─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ─
I know that you know this term, especially on TikTok . Men love to talk about this period (October - November - December). I always said this in my posts. When you see those morning routines, how to be this or that, you don't need do those things if it's not for you.
Remember that this your life and you decide the rules.
-> This a guided plan to succeed your winter arc . No BS.
1 -Look at what you've done so far. Take a piece of paper and be blunt. What worked ? What didn't ? How did you feel this year ?
2 - What can you achieve in 3 months ? See it on a long term scale. It's useless to do things fast fast fast. You're going to lose it as fast as you reached it. For exemple, being more cultivate. Start with 3 topics that you like and look for documentary / articles about that.
3 - yes, start slow. We have so much expectations especially at the beginning (of the year) thinking that we can achieve everything. No, our old version of yourself is still here and we need to start slow to not shock this version.
4 - I guess you do this winter arc to improve yourself. You heard it before. Who you want to be ? What that version of you have ? They have an aura ? They know how to paint ? A good eloquence ? What ? Not gonna tell you to act like this version because it difficult but make some choices (slow), yet intentional choices towards this person. (the hardest part to change)
5 - If you want to be in shape, start with YouTube videos. No need to take a pilates class there is everything at home (unless you have the money to take a class). Going to the gym is easy but having the discipline is definitely not. Have a workout program, know what you want to train. There is a bunch of gym creators with your dream body.
(do not put too much pressure on yourself , it has to be enjoyable so you can stick to it)
-> practice 80/20 in you alimentation. Look at what is good for you. Regarding sugar
6 - Waking up early is for the people that don't have school or don't work traditionally. If you're a student, take some rest and be organized if you want to do this. And know what you're gonna do as an early bird
7 - if you wanna star reading, I recommend you a sky beyond the storm. This is a dystopia and I loved it. I need to read the fourth volume but it is not available for now. If you are into self development start with the 7 habits of highly effective people or the compound effect. Go with the flow, even if you read one page.
8 - Take care of yourself. Do some selfcare, massage, meditation, breath work. Learn how to do things on you own like nails, epilation, improve your makeup
9 - track what you did. On each day write down what you did and how you feel. At the start there is nothing but on December you're gonna be like WOW
10 - Lastly, at end on each week write good things that happened that week in your life. Whatever. I started by doing that and it's so peaceful. For exemple, last week I succeeded in parking the car by myself. I struggle with this pls I am just a girl . Writing this made me so happy
This period is perfect for growth. You're gonna know what you like and who you are.
I hope you stay discipline toward the person you wanna become (I wish myself that too). Everything is not gonna be perfect but always do 1%.
(if you didn't do something, be easy on yourself but don't let more that 2 days pass, get back on track)
Its gonna be challenging, not gonna lie this is hard to change. So hard. I am here to tell the truth. You're here with that version of you that you have for many years, with traumas that people gave you and now you have to deal with it alone.
There is no other choice to evolve otherwise you're gonna be the same. Go for it. I believe in you
─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ─
The end. I don't like traditional rules in those type of challenge. There is some of these things that might be true YES but it seems like you're gonna die if you don't take a cold shower or if you don't wake up early omg
I hope that is period is gonna be a good way for you end up 2024. By reading this you are a step ahead of everyone who waits 2025 lol
I love you wherever you are
theamazingmuse 🫐
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jewish-vents · 19 hours
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i’m a teacher and i had a kid draw a swastika in my classroom on like. the second day of school. so one of our admin came in to two of my classes the next day to talk about it. and she started by telling this story about how she had a hijabi student. and a boy in the class was “really curious about what her hair looked like.” and had the students guess what happened next (pulled the hijab off, gross and awful) and how that might have made the hijabi student feel. at this point i’m sitting at my desk like “it’s been five minutes are we going to talk about the swastika” and then she finally goes “yesterday someone drew a symbol that represents division. and hate. and those aren’t things we stand for” and a kid (of course) was like what was it? and this fucking woman turns to me and goes “are you comfortable sharing what it was?”
?????? i thought that’s why you were here?? i thought you were here to explain why swastikas are not okay, and we are seven minutes into your little presentation and you haven’t said the word swastika or even jewish. so i said it was a swastika and several of the kids didn’t know what that was. which was disturbing on its own as i teach middle school but i digress. i said no way in hell am i drawing one so my admin looks at me and is like “could you google a picture?”
can’t believe i did this but i didn’t know what else to do in the moment so i pulled up a google image search of swastikas and projected it on the board. at no point did the admin say “hey you can take that down now” it just sat up there until i got uncomfortable and sick to my stomach enough to close it myself. and then she came back the next period and did the WHOLE song and dance again (no jewish, no antisemitism, not even the word NAZI which is insane to me) and STILL told the opening story about the hijabi girl even with two hijabi girls sitting in the class this time who were clearly uncomfortable.
this was like three weeks ago and it’s been quietly bothering me for a while and i finally told my (nonjewish) work friends about it and they were all like “holy shit that’s so fucked that she asked you to do that” and i told my (jewish) partner and he went “she couldn’t have picked up a fucking marker??” and that was when it really hit me.
maybe she didn’t want to be in a situation where she drew a swastika on a jewish teachers whiteboard. ok. but she apparently didn’t consider the WORSE implications of asking that same jewish teacher to google an image of a swastika and project a google image search of a page FULL of swastikas on her board.
AND she never once checked in with me after that. she left the class without talking to me again and hasn’t said a word about it since. i remember i even asked her “do you want me to leave the room” beforehand because im thinking i don’t want to have to look at swastikas but she asked me to stay because “the impact is real and they need to see it” which. uh. i’ve been pushing this experience down for weeks bc at the end of the day it “wasn’t that bad” but like. holy shit. she really wanted to put my trauma on display for the students instead of just asking me to leave and explaining what a swastika is/showing them one. and it took her nearly ten minutes to get to the actual swastika!! i’m just. so done
.
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ikilledyvette · 2 days
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(Part II of my seriously condensed 9-1-1 fic is here! Hope people enjoy, even though it's all a bit rushed!)
Part I
Sunday afternoon, Father’s Day. It’s always a hard day for Bobby, but usually, working helps him get through it. Today has been ... worse, and not just for him. Bobby finds Eddie on the couch, staring blankly into nothing. Bobby sits down beside him, a silent invitation to talk. Eddie doesn’t always take him up on it.
Today, Eddie says, “He hasn’t called,” and Bobby reminds him the day isn’t over yet. Eddie asks, “What if he doesn’t call?” and Bobby reminds him about tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that. 
“Every day you’re both alive is another chance to make things right,” Bobby says. “Don’t give up on tomorrow just yet, Eddie.”
Buck comes by then, and Eddie takes off to give the two some space. Buck says, “So, I had dinner with my parents the other night.” Bobby asks how it went, and Buck says, “Yeah, not great. They had, uh. A lot to say about me, you know. Going through a gay phase, or something. Wanting attention. Getting too old for, I don’t know. Making stuff up, I guess.”
Bobby nods. Cautiously, he says, “Sounds to me like they still don’t know you very well.”
Buck huffs a quiet laugh. “Yeah. Thing is, everything they said ... it’s all stuff I’ve thought too, you know? Like, I’ve always done stupid things to get people’s attention. Their attention, Tommy’s. Yours. And if ... if what I’m feeling, who I am, is ... is real ... how could I have not known before, right? And I, I do know how I feel about Tommy—I like him so much, Bobby, you don’t even know—”
Bobby knows. Everyone knows. Buck’s joy is not subtle; it shines through him, a thing to behold.
“—but sometimes I still—” Buck breaks off and sighs. “Well, maybe that’s why I reacted so badly last night. Cause sometimes, I worry they’re right.”
“They’re not,” Bobby says immediately.
“How do you know that?”
And Bobby hesitates, not sure Buck is going to want to hear this right now. But still, he says, “Because I know you, kid.”
“Yeah,” Buck says, smiling a little. “You do. Bobby, I’m. I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to—”
“I do. Cause that night we talked about Tommy? You didn’t ask me to, to explain myself, or suggest maybe I wasn’t thinking things through. You didn’t need me to prove anything. You just accepted it, Tommy and me. You accepted me.” Buck shakes his head. “I told this to Maddie once, but sometimes it’s easier to lash out at the person you know is always going to forgive you. My parents, that’s not them, never will be. But you, uh. You’re safe.”
Bobby swallows a little at that. He wants to be that person for Buck—but Bobby know he isn’t, can’t be. He’s the reason his family is dead; he’s the reason so many people are dead. 
“I know I hurt you,” Bobby says. “If I hadn’t left the way I did, Gerrard would never have been captain, and—”
“You think this is about Gerrard? Maybe you don’t know me as well as you thought.” But Buck’s voice is teasing, lessening the sting. “Yeah, I mean, working under Gerrard was ... rough, for a lot reasons. But that’s not ... Hen was the one mad at you for that.”
Bobby is aware. Hen had forgiven him pretty quickly, but her attitude towards Bobby on his first day back had been ... cool, to say the least. Bobby understands why, had prepared himself for Hen’s anger, potentially Chimney’s, too. They both went through a lot, working under Gerrard the first time around. Bobby had expected them to be upset.
He’s not sure why he hadn’t expected Buck to be.
“I’m not mad about Gerrard,” Buck tells him. “I’m mad that you lied. You—you were saying goodbye all day, only we didn’t know, I didn’t know. And you just—you were just going to leave?”
“I didn’t want—”
“You didn’t want us to change your mind,” Buck says, now visibly upset. “You—you said goodbye, Bobby. I didn’t realize it then, what you were doing, but—if you were gone, if you left, and I could have done something to stop it, stop you from, from—"
And Bobby realizes suddenly that Buck isn’t just talking about Bobby quitting.
“Hey,” Bobby says. “Listen. I’m not going anywhere, okay?”
“For how long?” Buck asks, and it’s not mockery this time. It’s pleading. Anxious. Young. For as much Buck has been through, for as much progress he’s made over the last seven years, Bobby is struck every now and then by how young Buck still is.
“That’s not up to me,” Bobby says and points up, skyward, at the man upstairs. “And listen, Buck, I won’t deny I was ... I was in a pretty dark place a couple of months ago. I should’ve been more honest about that. But I’m here, and I mean to stay here as long as I can. Okay? I’m not going anywhere without a fight, I promise.”
Buck inhales, a deep, shuddery breath, and Bobby hugs him, and Buck hugs Bobby back. 
“I’m sorry,” Buck says again. “I think, maybe. I think I’ve just been really scared.”
Bobby hugs him a little tighter and says, “I’ve got you. I’ve got you, kid.”
Footsteps on the stairs interrupt them a few minutes later. “Not to break up this long overdue moment,” Chimney says, “but Buck, you’ve got another visitor.”
Buck turns with a little dread, expecting his parents and not sure he’s ready to face them just yet—but it’s Maddie. This time, it’s Bobby and Chimney who disappear downstairs to give the Buckley siblings some space.
Maddie tells Buck that their parents are flying home. “I told them to go,” she says. “And not to come back.”
“Chimney told you,” Buck realizes, resigned and more than a little annoyed.
“Of course, he did,” Maddie says. She’s slightly exasperated but mostly worried. “Why didn’t you?” 
She thinks he’ll say something about not wanting to ruin Maddie’s relationship with their parents or Jee Yun’s relationships with her grandparents, and Buck does lead with that. But mostly, Buck’s ashamed of how he petty it was, bringing up Daniel. “I didn’t want you to think that I, I resented him,” he says. “I really don’t, Maddie. He was just a kid, and he never got the chance to grow up and, and I wish I could’ve given him that chance. I wish I could’ve met the person he would’ve become.”
“I know,” Maddie tells him, and reminds him that it’s not his fault; it was never his responsibility to save Daniel. Buck says he doesn’t blame their mom for slapping him after what he said, and Maddie, steely, says, “Well, I do. For that, and also for how they talked to you—no, it’s not okay. What if Jee grows up and realizes she likes both boys and girls someday? I don't want Mom talking to her like that. Do you?"
Buck recoils a little, and Maddie nods. “Would you be okay if Mom ever hit Jee Yun?” she asks. “Even if she said something terrible? Even if she deserved it?”
“She could never deserve it,” Buck says, knowing what Maddie’s doing but unable to keep quiet, not when his sister looks so upset, not with the ghost of Doug so heavy in the air. He hates to think of how many times Doug must have told Maddie that she was to blame for everything he did to her. “But Maddie, I don’t think Mom or Dad would ever—”
“Maybe not,” Maddie says, “but that doesn’t make them safe. They screw up, and they always feel bad about it, but they never really apologize. They never put in the work. They just ... make excuses and expect that we’ll forgive them, but I think I’m done with that now. I’m done with relationships where it’s only my responsibility to try harder, to smooth things over, to say the right thing, to always forgive. Maybe someday, if Mom and Dad actually work on themselves, but for right now ..." Maddie shakes her head. "Enough is enough.”
Buck gets that, he does. But he admits he isn’t sure he’s ready to cut off his parents yet, isn’t sure he wants too. He still wants to keep trying, and Maddie says that’s okay. What matters is, they still have each other. And she won’t try to change his mind if he doesn’t try to change hers.
Buck offers her a pinky swear. Maddie smiles and hooks her finger around his.
*
Meanwhile, downstairs, a phone rings.
“Christopher?” Eddie says, and takes a few steps, turning away from everyone. 
It is Christopher. He calls to wish his dad a happy Father’s Day, but also to say he loves him, and while he’s not quite ready to come home yet, he still wants to come home, and maybe soon.
“I miss you,” Christopher tells him. “I don’t want to miss you anymore. But you have to stop lying to me.”
“I can do that,” Eddie promises.
“And go back to therapy.”
Eddie laughs. “Already on top of that one, bud. Maybe ... we could go together, sometime, when you come home?”
“Yeah,” Christopher says. “I’d like that. I love you, Dad.”
“Love you too, Chris,” Eddie says. He hangs up, takes a breath before turning around, and announces, “Christopher called!" as if everyone—including Maddie and Buck, leaning over the balcony—weren’t badly pretending not to eavesdrop.
Everyone cheers and rushes Eddie. 
“What did I tell you?” Bobby asks him. “What did I tell you?” Hen asks, too, and Eddie says, “Yeah, yeah,” to both of them, with wet eyes and a shaky, hopeful smile.
“This calls for champagne!” Chimney announces. “But since we’re all on duty ... cheap coffee and leftover Ding Dong, Gerrard is Gone cake it is!”
—All in all, it’s the best Father’s Day the 118 has had in a long, long time. 
(And that's it! Apologies, fellow Tommy fans, that he didn’t make it into Part 2—but you know. If Tommy’s at the fire house, who’s flying the plane? Actually, Tommy’s too busy babysitting Jee Yun, and—to both Buck and Chimney’s horror—introducing her to all the worst Star Wars movies. She loves them.)
Tag List @lavenderleahy @v88sy
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jadeylovesmarvelxo · 2 days
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on the flipside what about fuckgirl reader that falls for steve? maybe billy and eddie are after her too? 🫣😳🙈
Request by anon. (I hope you like this anon, I haven't written anything like before so it's a little bit soft and sweet)
mdni.
❤️
Steve is fast asleep beside you. It's early morning and you should be tired but you've been having trouble relaxing, ever since you had that small epiphany last night.
You liked Steve. You really liked Steve. This was just meant to be incredible sex and then the two of you would move on. Maybe you'd date Billy or that cutie Eddie Munson. Your fling with Steve was meant to be no strings, just like the rest of your relationships.
There was something about Steve that made you soft and eager for more of him. You wanted to know everything there was about Steve, you wanted to wake up every morning and find him beside you and fall asleep beside him every night.
This feeling was dangerous, you had never felt it before but Steve's sweetness, his kind and loving nature had brought down all of your walls. You had fallen deeply for him.
Steve moans as he wakes up, when he catches you staring and a warm blush coats his cheeks and he pulls you close to him so you're flush against his chest. You would never get tired of this feeling.
"Hey beautiful, you aren't leaving are you? It's cold out and I'll miss my sweet girl. I'll be lonely in this bed by myself" you giggle and press a kiss to his lips.
"I have a shift soon but I don't have to leave yet" you're perfectly happy to cuddle into his chest and stay here all day if you could.
Work comes calling eventually and when you leave a sleeping Steve it's like your heart is aching at the very thought. This was ridiculous. You'd see him tonight.
But it didn't stop you missing him as soon as you left.
❤️
Billy hasn't left you alone since you started your shift at the local library, he's been bugging you for the last half hour and normally you'd flirt back with him.
But now? Now the thought of flirting with Billy turned your stomach. Steve's handsome face would flash through your mind and you ignored Billy.
All you could think about was Steve. Did he even feel the same way? This was new territory for you and it was terrifying, how could you open up about your feelings when you were scared that Steve would reject you.
"Come on babe. Let's have some fun" Billy smirks and you shake your head as you return some books to their original place.
"No, I think you should leave me alone Billy" you snap and he backs off, holding his hands up.
"What's up with you? Don't tell me you're actually faking for a pretty boy like Harrington?" He snorts and the disdain in his voice irritated you.
"So what if I am? He's amazing so you can go to hell with that stupid attitude of yours" Billy holds up his hands looking stunned.
"Whatever. I'm out of here" he storms out and your brief a sigh of relief. That relief is short lived as you realise that the feelings you have for Steve are stronger than you thought.
Maybe you really did need to tell Steve how you felt?
❤️
It's late when you head back to Steve's, you had been plucking up the courage to talk to him all day and had avoided seeing him until you knew what to say.
The perfectly planned speech you had came up with disappears as soon as you see Steve. He's poring over lessons for his kindergarten class, trying to think up fun things to do that were also educational.
He had been working as a teacher for two years now and you knew it brought him a lot of joy.
You also knew that he was serious about having a whole brood of his own and for the first time you imagine having a child of your own with Steve.
Instead of scaring you, like thoughts of the future usually did, the very idea filled you with so much longing.
Instead of your carefully thought out planning about what you're going to say to Steve, you merely take a deep breath and settle on his lap.
His arms around you felt like coming home and you knew without a doubt you wanted this for the rest of your life. "Give me two minutes babe then I'm all yours" he assured you but the next words out of your mouth had his complete attention.
"I love you Steve. It's crazy because I've never been in love until now and I understand if you don't feel the same but I just needed to say it"
The look of shock on Steve's features melts away to a blissful smile.
Steve softens. "I'm crazy about you honey, I love you too and I know this is all new for you but we'll take it slow, we're a team and we'll do things together" he strokes your cheek and the elation you feel is incredible.
Together. You liked the sound of that.
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giddythekitty · 3 days
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Let’s talk about scripting for a moment.
Disclaimer: I’m not telling you what to script, this is something genuinely important. Btw it’s important for baby shifters especially.
So, as a baby shifter, or even an experienced shifter, we all have our DRs. We all script for them, wether it’s mental, digital, written down, etc.
Sometimes we see a new show or read a new book and we want to shift there, right? We make a backstory, a personality, a faceclaim, powers, friendships, whatever you want in there.
And this is why you need to think, and I mean really think about what you script.
Let me give an example, bacause it’s important to visualize and ask yourself if you want it:
I’ve deleted like 10 of my scripts and modified a few others for one simple reason—projection. And it wasn’t because I was bored or because I didn’t like them, it’s because I either didn’t actually want them, I made them too traumatizing, and/or wrote down my issues and view on this reality as a script.
Let’s go with something simple: wings and flight. And think about it really well. Did you get those wings or were you born with them? Did you learn how to fly, did you already know, or do you still don’t know how to fly and are yet to learn?
If you answer with “still dont know how to fly and are yet to learn”, let’s expand on that(even if you didn’t, please keep reading because it’s relevant).
Say this is the first one with wings and you genuinely want to learn. After that you can have other drs where you have wings and you’ll be fine, right? You learned it, so you know it. But if this is a reoccurring pattern, and you are still yet to fly in two or more drs, then it might just be how you feel. Trapped. After all, the saying goes “a flightless bird is a dead bird” or maybe “a flightless dragon is a dead dragon”. You might be feeling like you have no way out of this reality, like you’ll never shift, and so on.
So how do we fix that? Words of affirmation.
They are important for a reason. Remember, your 4D matters more than the 3D because your subconscious can’t feel or see or hear the same as you do. If you say you’re pretty, then you’re gorgeous or handsome or whatever is inbetween. If you say you can shift, you can shift. And the longer you repeat that to yourself, wether written down, said out loud or even in front of a mirror, your mindset will change. “Gaslight yourself till you believe it”, “It’s the law of assumption” they are all the same.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, you are the god of your own reality. What you say is true matters more than what others say. Your word is final, and no one will ever change that.
I have yet to see people adress this kind of important information about shifting, and I decided to do it myself.
Remember, shifting is a path of self-discovery. It takes your hand and gets you back on your feet, it gets you away from the edge of depression or anything else that’s negative or even self destructive. It gets you your confidence back, it boosts your self-esteem, because you are the key to your reality. Not dr, not cr, nor wr. Your reality. Your truth.
I am begging you, keep going. Don’t give up. Do not give up. Shifting came to you for a reason, and you are special. Not everyone can comprehend the reality of just how powerful they are, and here you are. And no matter how hard your life is, how hard you work to open your eyes there, I am proud of you. You deserve so much, and this reality has done you no justice. “If you want it done right, do it yourself”. So be your own savior, because you deserve to be happy.
Happy shifting
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prinzrupprecht · 19 hours
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To Live or Die
Chapter 5 - the truth and acceptance
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I’m back to my next level of Okita stage coping since the leaks. If you’re new here, read the previous parts!
Synopsis Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4
TW: hurt/comfort
WC: 965
Kondo-san and your uncle were in another room talking. You assumed they were practically catching up over the years. Souji was quiet like you were. Were you both waiting for the other to break the silence? You sighed while deciding that Souji won this game with the awkward tension. “It’s been a while…” you mumbled while keeping your head down.
You couldn’t even make eye contact with him. He was just as shy and nervous as you were. “How have you been?” he asked. It was better to change the subject for the better. His question made you think after the war you didn’t honestly expect to see him again. His words struck you before how he wanted to help his friends in battle fighting for their lives and beliefs. Souji said if he were to die then it would be in a spectacular battle. What changed?
“I’m… doing okay. What about you?” You had no idea whether you were telling the truth. Were you okay? Probably not. Your heart started fluttering again. You casually brought one of your fingers up to your cheekbone while awkwardly smiling. You tilted your head a bit to get a good look at him.
“I told you already with the letter I sent.” He muttered as if he was more disappointed with your response. You looked down and thought for a moment what he said. Was he hinting how he missed you?
“Sorry, I’m not great with words.” You muttered and it was silent for a good minute between you two. You didn’t really give him much about your new life in your letter. You wanted to ask him things as he did but neither of you knew how to talk to one another properly like before. Were things completely ruined between you two?
“Are you still mad at me?” he gripped the top of his knees unsure if what he did would ever be forgivable to you.
“To you? No. I am with myself. You shouldn’t apologize when I can’t even properly give you one.” Your words affected him when he knew you all too well. You still somewhat resented him for leaving and choosing to fight in a war that wasn’t winnable. What did you mean by that? He has already long forgiven the things you said.
You were closing yourself off from people getting close to you again. “No. I can’t ever make up for the past. I don’t regret choosing my beliefs and keeping my promises to the others, and Kondo-san. I still always cared about you, it was just the wrong place at the wrong time for both of us.” Okita realized what he was saying would hurt you, but he couldn’t lie either.
You kept silent and pursued your lips from getting emotional. “But— but we’re here now right?” Okita saw how saddened you were. You tried to crack a smile at his enthusiasm.
“Ya… I suppose,” you quietly said. Kondo-san and your uncle returned laughing with one another. You and Souji looked at them wondering what they talked about.
“What is going on?” you had asked and your uncle looked at Kondo.
“I think you should go back with them,” your uncle broke the tension in the room. You stared at him with confusion.
“Huh?” You were wondering why. You looked at Okita who didn’t make eye contact with you.
“I don’t… understand?” This was difficult for Arashi to explain to you how the area is consumed with illegal gangs and former members of Tosa have migrated down to Yokohama to operate their crimes in the dark.
“You’re just not safe here, if you can at least give them a chance… you’ll find that closure but it won’t be here. I know things have been hard for you.” He stopped and saw you looking down at your hands. Kondo stood back in silence while he was relatively glad you weren’t resisting the temptation to stay in Yokohama.
“What about you?” you asked. Your uncle sucked in a breath before looking at Kondo.
“After you got attacked earlier, that man knows your face and the gang he associates with… it’s too dangerous for you to stay here.” He avoided your question and it was difficult for you to decide.
You wanted some time to decide whether you would risk your life staying in Yokohama or go back with Kondo and Souji. “You didn’t answer my question.” You chewed the inside of your cheek.
“I’ll— I’ll be fine, I promise. Your life is more in jeopardy than mine. I run the docks down here, they won’t come for me.” Arashi ruffled your hair a bit making you pout. You had no idea if he was telling you the truth or just making the situation sound less bad than what it already was.
“If anything we’ll come back if Arashi-san is in trouble, right Kondo-san?” Souji spoke up. You crossed your arms but thought of it as him trying to get you to leave but maybe he was right and that your life is in danger now. Who would be better to keep you safe? The obvious answer would be Kondo and Souji.
“Fine, when do we leave?” You looked at Kondo and back to Souji.
“Soon, I have to get back to the department in a day or so since I’m here without proper clearance.” You briefly looked at your uncle and excused yourself to grab a few of your things.
How did things have to turn out this way? Now you’re returning to live with them again like old times? It feels incredibly odd and not real. The war took that from you, right? You were hurt still but maybe over time you’ll heal again and move on. Only time can do that.
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mj-iza-writer · 23 hours
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Idrk if this is a good whump thing but whumper who only gives whumpee clothes they hate.
Like transmasc whumpee only being allowed in dresses and skirts.
Transfemme whumpee getting the baggiest clothes in the most stereotypical masculine style.
Or if whumpee accidentally makes a face when given a clothing item, then that’s all they can wear.
Bonus if whumper always presents this as a reward, or infront of friends to show off how well whumpee has been behaving. Any sign of discomfort is bound to be punished. Especially since all whumpers friends are here.
I may have put myself in this a little. Warning for creepy whumper, nudity and homophobia. Sorry about the wait. This is a great prompt, just took me a while to think of an ending. -MJ
Whumpee took a step back when Whumper held up a bright red dress.
"You better stop moving away from me", Whumper warned, "you won't like the punishment."
Whumpee looked at the dress uncomfortably, "does it have to be so bright? Can't it be black or something?"
"Nope. I think this will look darling on you", Whumper sighed and stepped closer and held the dress up against Whumpee.
Whumpee mumbled under their breath, causing Whumper to give a warning glare.
"If you don't behave and appreciate this, I will take away every piece of clothing you own. You will either have to wear this or go nude. Am I clear?"
Whumpee gulped and nodded.
"You can look feminine every once in a while... for me... can't you?", Whumper smirked. They knew Whumpee was easy to guilt trip.
"Ugh fine", Whumpee looked at the dress closer. "Can it not be so tight and revealing, at least?"
"I did say this was for me, didn't I"?, Whumper smirked mischievously, "you can go back to your frumpy clothes once the party is over at the end of this month. Just let me enjoy this."
Whumpee looked down, "they're not frumpy. I prefer a more masculine look. You know that."
"I know dear, that's why I have to enjoy this... every moment", Whumper sighed, "until you stop with that nonsense at least ."
"It's not nonsense", Whumpee looked down, "I-its who I am", they whispered.
"Right, only when I let you", Whumper chuckled, "we're getting this dress."
"Great", Whumpee looked at it sadly, "exactly what I was wanting."
Whumpee looked longingly at some of the clothes marketed for men.
"Can I at least pick something for myself off of that rack?", Whumpee pointed but cowarded back when they saw the disgust on Whumper's face.
"Uh, nev-never mind", Whumpee gulped, "sorry", they squeaked out.
Whumper talked to the cashier excitedly about the party dress while they were being rung up.
Whumpee only smiled and nodded every time a comment was directed at them.
Until they shouldn't have at least. They had dissociated out of the moment, and answered wrong. Whumper was clearly pissed, Whumpee could only imagine how bad this punishment would be.
"Bathroom now", Whumper threw the items on the counter when they arrived home, "strip everything off."
"Wh-what are you going to do?", Whumpee couldn't stop themself from asking.
"You'll see. You've embarrassed me for the last time."
Whumpee stood in the bathroom. They desperately tried to cover themself up with their hands.
Whumper came in and swiped their hands away.
Whumpee winced as their nude body was on display.
"I've thrown every article of your clothing into a trashbag", Whumper grinned, "you now have to earn it all again. It starts with that dress we just bought. If you don't earn that back, you'll be at the party completely naked. Am I clear?", Whumper pushed Whumpee to the floor, "you are a girl. Your body, your genetics. You are a female. This stupidity of wanting to be a male was cute before, but I am over it now."
Whumpee whimpered as they covered their face to hide their tears.
"Go ahead and cry... about all you're good for", Whumper yelled louder, "can't ever let me have my time. You ruin everything."
Whumpee rolled themself into tight ball and cried.
"I just want to be myself", Whumpee sobbed.
"It doesn't matter what you want", Whumper leaned down and slapped Whumpee's cheek, "no one cares."
Whumper left Whumpee laying there while they went and cleaned up the dress they had just bought.
Whumpee could hear Whumper humming happily a few rooms over.
"I-I didn't choose to be like this", Whumpee whispered, "it's not a choice."
Whumpee sat quietly and thought.
"If I'm to escape, I need to survive. Appease Whumper until you can get away", Whumpee whispered, "it's the only way."
Whumpee swore they would do everything in their power to escape this mess they were in. Even if they had to hide their identity for a while. It was the only way to keep themself safe.
Thankyou for the request. I really hope you enjoyed. -MJ
Taglist. As always please let me know if you want to be added or taken off of the list. It's not a problem at all.
@villainsandheroes @the-beasts-have-arrived
@sacredwrath @porschethemermaid
@monarchthefirst @generic-whumperz
@bloodyandfrightened @freefallingup13
@notpeppermint @cyborg0109
@idontreallyexistyet @painfulplots
@whumpbump @everythingsscary
@skittles-the-whumpee @expressionless-fr
@theforeverdyingperson @legendarydelusiongoatee
@candleshopmenace @whumpanthems
@lavndvrr @ivymyers
@starfields08000 @a-living-canvas
@lumpofsand @watermeezer
@indigoviolet311 @whumpy-mountains
@3-2-whump @risk606
@electrons2006 @paperprinxe
@whumprince @kaz-of-crows
@mis-graves @decaffeinatedtimetraveler94
@sausages-things @ragin-cajun-fangirl
@isikedmyself878 @daffyduckcommittedtaxfraud
@valravnthefrenchie @glennemerald
@jasperthecapser @does-directions
@deafeninglittlecrown
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bloopitynoot · 2 days
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Reading SVSSS: Chapter 16
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For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!
If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.
Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.
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Hello! Another day, another chapter!
I really don't have much to ramble about today, but I am back on my tea. This is a new one from the ren faire this year- vanilla chai with sugar and milk. The cup is from the same ren faire (but purchased last year).
let's go let's let's go- I am already impatient to get into this chapter.
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Last chapter we ended on a cliffhanger with Luo Binghe totally unconscious- we start this chapter with Shen QIngqiu ready to rescue his man and escape!
It's really so upsetting that he is going back to trash (two bar) spiritually energy in this body when he was so used to his mushroom Unlimited Power p65
RIP Luo Binghe's skull LOL he is really being tossed around like a rag doll. SQQ needs to be more careful. p66
MXTX said forget the only one bed trope, I raise you -> There Was Only One Coffin p67
Fuck. This is actually so scary 10/10 I would pee myself if a little skeletal arm was worming it's way into the coffin I was temporarily occupying (really anything in this book's reality would make me die of fright. as an aside I was talking to my partner about this while watching MDZS donghua yesterday, in the world of cultivators I would be a dumpling stall owner. I could never with the sword training and literal corpses). pp67-68
I CANT 'extenuating circumstances'. SQQ definitely: I just HAD to kiss his cute little forehead to save our lives. p68
i'm crying LOL "a person's abdomen is supposed to be the softest spot on their body, but Luo Binghe's was uncomfortably hard against Shen Qingqiu's stomach. The farther down he pulled him, the more he was sure that Luo Binghe had an eight-pack. Was that a rock slab down there?" p70
this keeps getting worse LMAO
OOOOO Meng Mo is back! Is it weird that I kind of love this guy? He has such a cool power and is a bit of a dick, but in the best and worst of ways. Him and Airplane give similar energy and I am not mad about it. p72
oh gosh! LBH is either "fatally ill" or "close to death" p72
wait- adding to the above point. he could also be mentally very unwell :( poor buddy -> it's likely this option. p72
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so even though SQQ is processing nothing , I think SQQ admitting (not naming the feeling but admitting) that he is feeling a mess of emotions about Luo Binghe is a big step for him! p73
Meng Mo seems to have a lot of feelings about LBH. I am not sure if it's just pride or what but whatever it is he is correct here, "The way this elder sees it, he (LBH) should either kill you (SQQ) or do you!" p74
PLEASE OH NO
I AM WHEEZING
+1000 Protagonist Satisfaction Points for touching LBH's "Heavenly Pillar" p76
IM DYING OH NO
WHY IS THIS EVEN A THOUGHT IF HE THINKS HE'S STRAIGHT "He couldn't exactly help Luo Binghe jerk off under these circumstances, right?!" p76 But like if not these circumstances he is cool with doing it in other circumstances???????????
oh no! SQQ blocking the blades with his bare hand for LBH p79
Dang. the Old Palace Master has been through some shit. p80
Are we getting more of Shen jiu's story??? We have Qiu Haitang here too! p81 (just as an aside because my notes did not revisit this, we do not get more of his story just weird little hints. That I hope Shang Qinghua clears up later). p81
What a terrible combo. Old Palace master is just butthurt Luo Binghe doesn't want him as a teacher or to marry his daughter and Qiu Haitang seems to be just a vile woman with a grudge against SQQ for some reason. pp82-83
Okay but as horrible as OPM is, that cultivation he's doing with his voice is kind of cool. p85
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Wait. Did the Old Palace Master have a thing for Su Xiyan? This is so fucking weird for LBH and he's not even conscious pp86-87
reading further the above point got so much worse omg :(((((((((((( I'm so upset for Su Xiyun. p87
It got even worse with the implications of what it meant for Luo Binghe in that sect. That terrible terrible man deserved that horrifying death. Fuck that guy! pp 89-90
OMG SQQ, basically half dead carrying LBH, barely got away from the death flower room, and here we have Tianglang-jun back on his bullshit. p94
SQQ is in such a bad state :o pp94-95
Is this another dime??? Our demon blood piggy bank for SQQ is now at $0.40 p97
YAY! Luo Binghe is awake! (is he going to be okay mentally though??)p 99
Why is Luo Binghe so mad? Like this man just nearly died trying to get you the fuck out of there p100
Fucking finally okay, it got better LBH is realizing what SQQ did while he was unconscious pp102-103
I'm glad they cleared that up (even though there was the other added miscommunication about LBH thinking SQQ was crying when he was actually just in a fuck ton of pain). p104
I am actually so glad that the discussion was interrupted before LBH found out about the dick touching being real LOL p108
MORE DEMON BLOOD. -> SQQ's dime bank is at $0.50
How many times does this man get kidnapped?
We really ended with him being kidnapped again and with Luo Binghe being conned by his own dad. That was so rough. -500 dignity points (not really but it sure feels like it)
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lilsoftext · 3 days
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•~* WHISPERS IN THE DARK *~•
-chris sturniolo x female reader
-summery: late night talks
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It was 2 AM, and the city outside was quiet. The apartment was dimly lit, with only the soft glow of streetlights filtering through the curtains. Chris and Sof lay in bed, wide awake, even though they both had an early start the next day.
Sof was curled up against Chris’s side, her head resting on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. Chris had one arm around her, his fingers absentmindedly playing with her hair. It was one of those nights where neither of them could sleep, and neither of them minded.
“Tell me something,” Sof murmured, her voice barely above a whisper.
Chris shifted slightly, glancing down at her. “Like what?”
“Anything,” she said. “Something about you. Something I don’t know.”
Chris chuckled softly, his chest rumbling beneath her head. “You already know everything about me.”
Sof smiled, her fingers tracing slow circles on his chest. “I’m sure there’s something.”
He was quiet for a moment, thinking. Then he spoke, his voice soft in the stillness of the room. “Alright. When I was a kid, I used to have this crazy dream that I could fly. Not like a superhero—more like I’d just run and jump, and suddenly, I was floating. I had that dream for years. Every time I’d get upset about something, I’d close my eyes and imagine I could just take off and fly away.”
Sof lifted her head to look at him, her eyes sparkling with interest. “Really? How come you never told me that before?”
Chris shrugged, a small smile tugging at his lips. “I don’t know. It was just one of those things I kept to myself. Guess I felt silly about it.”
Sof’s smile softened, and she reached up to brush a stray lock of hair from his forehead. “I think it’s sweet. You still dream about flying?”
“Not anymore,” Chris said with a chuckle. “But sometimes, when I’m having a really bad day, I’ll think about it. It’s like this weird, comforting memory.”
Sof’s hand rested on his cheek, her thumb gently stroking his skin. “I like knowing that.”
Chris turned his head slightly, kissing her palm. “Your turn. Tell me something.”
Sof bit her lip, her brow furrowing as she thought. “Okay. When I was in high school, I used to sneak out at night and go up to the roof of my house. I’d just sit there, looking at the stars, trying to figure everything out.”
Chris raised an eyebrow, his interest piqued. “Sneaking out? Sounds like you were a bit of a rebel.”
Sof laughed softly. “Not really. I wasn’t doing anything crazy. I just needed time to think, you know? Life felt so overwhelming back then, like everything was so much bigger than me. Being up there, alone with the stars, made it all feel... smaller. More manageable.”
Chris’s hand moved to cup her cheek, his thumb brushing across her skin. “I wish I could’ve been there with you.”
Sof leaned into his touch, her eyes soft. “I think I needed that time to myself. But I’m glad you’re here now.”
There was a comfortable silence between them for a while, the kind that only comes from two people who are completely at ease with each other. Sof settled back against Chris’s chest, feeling his heartbeat slow and steady beneath her.
“Do you ever wonder where we’ll be in five years?” Sof asked quietly, her voice thoughtful.
Chris was silent for a moment, then he smiled, his hand resting on the small of her back. “I don’t know exactly where we’ll be, but I know I’ll still be with you. That’s the only part that matters to me.”
Sof’s heart swelled at his words, and she felt a warmth spread through her chest. She tilted her head up to look at him, her eyes searching his face.
“You really think we’ll last that long?” she asked softly, her voice tinged with a hint of vulnerability.
Chris looked down at her, his expression serious. “I know we will. I’m all in, Sof. Whatever happens, I’m not going anywhere.”
Sof’s eyes filled with emotion, and she blinked back the tears that threatened to spill over. She reached up to cup his face in her hands, pulling him down for a slow, tender kiss.
When they pulled apart, she rested her forehead against his, her voice barely a whisper. “I’m all in too.”
Chris smiled, his eyes soft as he looked at her. “Good.”
For a while, they lay there in the quiet, holding each other, lost in the intimacy of the moment. The world outside faded away, leaving just the two of them in their own little bubble.
Sof broke the silence after a while, her voice playful. “Okay, but seriously, where do you see us in five years?”
Chris laughed, the sound low and warm in the dark room. “Alright, alright. Let me think.” He paused for a moment, then grinned. “I see us in a house—not too big, but cozy. With a backyard and maybe a dog. We’ll have more time to ourselves, and maybe we’ll finally take that trip to Italy you’ve been talking about.”
Sof smiled, her heart fluttering at the thought. “That sounds perfect.”
“And you’ll still be sneaking up to rooftops to look at the stars,” Chris added with a wink.
Sof laughed, shaking her head. “Only if you come with me.”
Chris pulled her closer, his lips brushing against her forehead. “Always.”
They fell silent again, the weight of their words settling between them like a promise. The night stretched on, but neither of them were in a hurry to fall asleep. They were content just being there, in each other’s arms, talking about dreams and memories and the future.
As Sof drifted off, her head resting on Chris’s chest, she realized that no matter where life took them, as long as they had each other, everything would be okay.
And that was more than enough.
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i hope you enjoyed it.if you have any requests, leave them down below.
lilsoftext <3
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