#or at least bad for morrowind

[aladaylessecondblog]

Discovery (fallen star AU)

Author's Note: Alright here it is. Messy but w/e. If you are reading Fallen Star and DON'T want spoilers for future events, consider this your LAST WARNING.

-------------------

There were good days and bad days, and today was a bad day for Sadara.

The injuries the Ordinators had given her were healing on their own--slowly, but they were healing. The wounds were beginning to close at last, and yet they still ached.

Inside, outside....everything hurts.

Her joints, her wounds, the arm that they'd finally taken out of the splint just last week. Everything was still tender, everything still hurt, and she was so fatigued that most days were spent sleeping. It might have been bearable, though...if not for the rounded belly her hands now rested on.

It had been a surprise, as she was desperately trying to hide from the ordinators. Roasted food she cooked with a fire spell had suddenly grown disgusting, pains in her belly, and other such things had cropped up. When she'd managed to talk to a healer they'd given her a smile.

"You're with child."

The look of horror had been hard to mask, and yet she'd managed it. The healer took it to be more nausea, and offered her a potion to settle her stomach. It hadn't done her much good...and between that and the wounds she'd found sleep hard to get. And that was when she DID get it. The ordinators were always sniffing around for her, and she moved often, barely avoiding being sighted by them when she went close to anything resembling civilization.

After another hard fight where she'd taken a particularly bad wound to her leg, and barely managed to kill the ordinator involved, she didn't sleep at all for the two days it took her to get to the Argonian Mission and explain everything.

Well. Not EVERYTHING. She didn't tell them she'd gone to bed with the enemy of all Morrowind, that it was HIS child--in the end she decided to blame the Dark Brotherhood, and said they'd given her a poisoned wound that had somehow stopped her being able to heal herself up. When they questioned her about the pregnancy she blamed some handsome rogue, a moment of weakness and an indulgence in comfort when she'd needed it.

As she'd helped hide and rescue several slaves they took her in gladly, and were further sweetened when she turned over her weapon bag. Arrows, daggers, a regular old steel sword, they'd all sell well enough to pay for her room and board and the effort it would take to keep her hidden. She kept the smattering of jewels she'd kept for potion making, a set of armor, and a few other weapons. And her gold, too. She would not be deprived of so much as she had been growing up. She would NOT let her child grow in the poverty she'd been forced through.

Cyrodiil...or maybe Skyrim. I could be an alchemist, it wouldn't be too suspicious. Not like I can use them otherwise. People always need healing potions...

She'd left her lute in Red Mountain...quite by accident, of course, in her rush to leave before she could talk herself out of doing it. She blamed the grief of the situation--of having to lose Voryn, being attacked at every turn, of knowing she would have to go through this pregnancy alone. It all hurt so badly she finally understood a lover in a song she'd sung many times claiming he would never sing again for the grief of losing his lover.

At last she understood the songs. Love so grand it took everything when it was gone...a great light that when it was snuffed out left only a darkness that felt inescapable. Loneliness, isolation...

At least I have you, she thought, stroking the swell of her stomach. Five months, she guessed. Four more and she would no longer feel so alone. Four more and she would have the only spot of joy remaining to her in all this misery. Even if the child resembled their father...the only people to remember the face would be in Morrowind. All she had to do was simply...never return, once she'd left.

They would figure out their own destinies, she'd determined. They'd make their OWN way, free of the prophecy, free of Azura and her demands, free of the --

A fuss, somewhere in the upstairs. Sadara cringed on hearing a shout--it wasn't too often that it happened, but it did happen, she assumed because of the Twin Lamps. It didn't take a Dwemer scientist to know there would be some connection between them and the Argonians. It wasn't until the footsteps upstairs began to move downstairs that she began to worry.

I was just staying here because it was quiet, she started to invent the excuse, That's all. I'm not feeling well and they are quite hospitable to paying guests.

Yes. A good excuse. A wonderful excuse. All the same...

Sadara jolted upright into a sitting position and felt a wave of nausea and dizziness nearly overtake her in the process. Then the sound of yelling outside the door, which was swiftly opened.

"You've been trafficking my escaped slaves, and I won't have it."

The angry Orvas Dren stepped through. Sadara couldn't move quickly enough to get into the closet, so all she could do was sit on the bed and wait.

He was stunned, to say the least.

"You," he said, his voice a quiet accusation, "I expected slaves, but YOU--"

She couldn't figure out what to say. Had he been anyone else she would have been able to snow them over about staying here as it was quiet, but HE knew her, and more importantly she KNEW he was a loyal follower of Voryn's.

"Lord Dagoth's been looking for you."

"I--" she stumbled over her words. No, this couldn't be it. She couldn't--but Orvas was LOYAL to him.

Gods.

"Of course these wretched beasts would be keeping you from our lord. After I've taken care of them I'll take you to a healer, and then back to Red Mountain."

You've been caught, she thought to herself, Best to minimize the damage. The ordinators. The wounds. You meant to go for Wraithguard but had to hide for your own safety.

"My injuries--I can't heal with potions or spells." Sadara swallowed, looking up and then away as she tripped over her words. "Azura is--angry with me. V...HE can, but I can't exactly go to him when I'm in this kind of shape, not with everything that lies between here and--and there. And the Argonians didn't do this to me. The...the ordinators did--Lord Vivec wants me dead. If you try to take me out there now they'll kill me and I can't--our..."

It was over. It was over. In the state she was in she could barely move without pain. Something in the back of her mind whispered that it was best to give in now, and another corner screamed in opposition that she must resist.

Azura, how am I meant to do that in THIS STATE? You wouldn't protect me from the Ordinators and you won't protect me now.

Sometimes one gambled and lost...and it was best, she thought, fear seeping into her mind, to attempt to make the loss hurt as little as possible. Azura meant to destroy her, but Voryn--

"Calm yourself, my lady," Orvas walked forward and lowered his spear as he moved. "With my connections I can find a way to get you there without the ordinators or even the buoyant armigers being aware of it."

"Moon sugar and ash statues are one thing," Sadara replied, "But a whole woman?"

"You underestimate my connections." He smirked. "And when it comes to that which my lord desires, I am always ready to deliver. How fortunate that I've managed to save you."

You haven't saved me, she thought fearfully, You've damned me.

-----------------------------

True to his word - Orvas managed it. Sadara had to spend an uncomfortable few days mostly confined to a large crate in the back of a silt strider, but he got her as far as Ald'ruhn unseen. Getting to the Ghostgate was more difficult, but they managed it thanks to Orvas's scouts. Once there, he had his men stand guard while another cast an illusion spell over her.

"It will not last long," he said, "But it will last long enough to get us to the Shrine of Pride, and once we're inside..."

"Does...does he know we're coming?" Sadara asked. She was trembling, having gone over what she'd say once Orvas had delivered her back. Voryn, I'm so sorry, I was injured, and the Argonians hid me. I wanted to get Wraithguard but my wounds were so terrible, and I was so afraid. "What about the corprus creatures?"

"He has assured me that they will be no problem today." Three others came forward now, and Sadara recognized them as Sleepers, ones she'd met before. "We shall all go in as a group."

"I hope you've got your cure disease potions ready," she replied, "The blight winds never stop inside the Ghostfence."

But Orvas was always prepared.

-----------------------------------

Getting past the Ghost Fence was easy enough, but walking further was more painful with every step. After the Shrine of Pride they made straight for the building Dagoth Ur.

The closer they got the more nervous Sadara felt. Would Voryn believe her? Suppose he was angry? And what of the child...what if he slew them both?

No. No, she reassured herself, he'd never do such a thing. Perhaps he might want you to forget a time you were not his, but he would not outright harm you, he wants you too much.

Her vision grew a bit blurry, the half-healed wound in her leg sprouted into agony. But on she walked.

Voryn might consider this penance enough, if he is angry.

Not until they were inside did she feel the first inklings of relief. She was tired enough she barely registered the voices about her, only thinking of being able to lay down and rest again. Within her the child kicked, moving almost eagerly.

Hands reaching for her own, then one that moved over her belly. She stumbled and then was lifted from her feet, and all she could think was, thank goodness, I can rest.

Because it was finally over.

It was all over.

She was asleep before she could think anything more.

----------------------------------------

Sadara's dreams were jumbled, cloudy, even now. She could swear she saw Voryn, but then there was Azura, reaching out, and the fog rose to blot her out. The dreams continued like this, things from the outside--Vivec, Azura, Almalexia, Caius even--appearing just within arm's reach before vanishing again.

She opened her eyes, rubbing the sleep from them, and recognize the room that she'd slept in so often before. Her wounds, when she looked at them--were all closed, all healed over.

Groggily she sat up, feeling more rested than she had in months. There was a dryness in her mouth, and thankfully when she looked there was a flask of water on the bedtable. As she was drinking it the door opened, and in rushed--

"Oh, by my name, you're awake," Voryn's hands were on her the instant he was close enough to touch her, "You've no idea how worried I was. How afraid I was that they had managed to poison you against me, or..."

"They--they didn't," Sadara lied, "Orvas...Orvas told you, I'm sure, but the ordinators attacked me, and...I've been running from place to place, hiding, and please--however angry you might be at me, don't harm the Argonians. If it weren't for them I would already be dead."

"Angry?" he started, "Angry? I could never be so at you for trying to preserve your life. But Nerevar--how much you have suffered during your flight. If I had only thought of it before you left, I would have..."

So he was willing to believe her, that was good. Or maybe so long as she played along with the narrative he was creating, he would overlook any possibility of anything outside what he wanted.

"Your wounds were so terrible, Nerevar, and to think you have had to let them heal on their own...that you suffered without me there to save you..."

"Voryn," she said quietly, "You need not worry, everything...everything is alright now. I'm here. Safe."

Damned, she thought. But if she must be damned...at least his variety was softer and kinder than the other sort. But before she could think for more she had to be sure he believed her, or as sure as possible in this case.

"You didn't visit my dreams so I was worried you'd...that you'd decided if I wasn't strong enough that you didn't...want my service."

"Nothing could be farther from the truth," Voryn went on, "Do you hear me? You are so full of anxiety from all this running and hiding, you really should be resting. Simply lay back, sleep, and let me care for you."

Sadara took a deep breath. He didn't yet seem aware, or perhaps he was waiting to be told...so she took both his hands and laid them on her belly.

"Voryn," she said quietly, "I'm not sure you've noticed, but...when I left to retrieve Wraithguard, I...I didn't leave alone."

She could not see through the mask, but she could certainly feel the joy as it radiated off him.

One hand stayed at her belly, and the other moved up to cup her cheek.

"Such a gift you give me, moon-and-star," he said gently, "You must stay here. I won't risk the safety of either of you, do you hear me?"

She soon went back to sleep, held against Voryn's chest, with one arm around her, and the other stroking at her belly.

If she was damned to Oblivion by this...at least her captor was tender, and her sentence light.

It was all over now.

Voryn was going to win. It was only a matter of time.

[da3drat]

I’m not even that drunk (Halloween party) and yet I keep getting fucking Morrowind poked by the most bullshit thing my roommate said “caldera” and I thought Caldara and then someone said “something is happening with the heart” and I went OF LORKHAN???

I am the worst kind of person

[jonstarks]

dovahkiin with their spouse and kids, popular with folks, had a lot of friends, while hero of kvatch just... traumatized quest after quest until turn into a literal mad god.... I don't know what happened with nerevarine bc i haven't finished it (i got lost in a video game, help) but after what happened with them pre reincarnation, I'm sure it wasn't as bad as that

[transmascdagothur]

Idk how to say this but I'm kinda tired of uwuifying every single aspect of Elder Scrolls and Dagoth Ur especially. I know the transmasc dagoth ur blog has been pretty funny so far but you know, TES lore by nature is insanely dark and i don't see many people appreciate that over here on tumblr. I want to see more horror. I want to portray Dagoth Ur as a fucked up husk of a sad man, I want him to be an absolutely horrifying monster. There's nothing wrong with taking terrifying characters and turning them into comfort characters because at the end of the day it's just fictional shit like go off monarchs, you want miraak to have a chiseled jawline and sheogorath to have a family, like that's cool and whatever. Tbh I love it when people use their imagination and come up with shit like that.

BUT. Personally I find it insanely cool when people can take a villain as a comfort as well as portraying them as just that: villains. Like can we all agree that if you portray a comfort oc as inherently evil or at least morally grey, IT DOESN'T MAKE YOU A BAD PERSON. You can like Dagoth Ur as the fucked up thing he is in game, you don't have to ignore that he literally wanted to drive out all the other races from morrowind and take over tamriel with a god robot. It doesn't mean you support ideas like that if you like the character. Idk why I need to say that.

It's not just Dagoth Ur, I see it with all the other evil characters too. Miraak, Mannimarco, all the daedric princes, Alduin, the tribunal, like ESPECIALLY the tribunal. I don't wanna hear anyone go like "nooo my babygirl Vivec has done nothing wrong" to me he is a bug eyed little freak and I LOVE HIM BUT HE ALSO BETRAYED AND SPEARED NEREVAR ALIVE. I'm looking at all of you rn. lol

Anyway so if you disagree with this idc, this is just my opinion. I'm just saying, I'm gonna focus on more darker aspects of this franchise from now on, at least with my other nerevarine oc Kazakir. But yall can still ask stuff about Dravas and his super romanticized AU with Dagoth Ur! Remember to hydrate and stretch your legs, rant over.

[hollowtones]

first yiik impressions?

Hi. Thanks for your message. I've been thinking about this for days. I wrote paragraphs. Here you go!

Everyone talks up how the game is bad, but I've never looked into it much myself, so I went in with an expectation along the lines of "people whose opinions I often agree with think it was an awful mess, I'll likely think something similar". Expectations were low. Even then I wasn't really ready.

"YIIK" is a game of tedium. I don't think it's a game about tedium, that's something different (though it could be, if it was a different video game altogether; "what if the world was made of pudding" etc). To some degree I think the tedium is by design but I'm not really sure what it's in service of.

I don't think tedium in a video game is a bad thing. "Morrowind" and "Breath of the Wild" are two video games I like very much, and some of my favourite memories of those games are of slowly wandering through empty expanses, or having to suddenly deal with equipment degrading or supplies dwindling because I forgot to prepare. Moments like that feel thoughtful! They're interesting moments of reprieve or of tension that feel thoughtfully and intentionally designed! "YIIK" feels like trudging through chest-deep molasses so it can shout "hey did you know you're stuck in my molasses right now? that's weird, why are you stuck in my molasses right now? did you notice?" directly into your ear.

You'll notice this is a pattern.

Combat is turn-based and involves completing little minigames, timing button prompts or hitting targets or some such. It's a cute idea that wears out its welcome when you start realizing how long every single one takes to resolve, especially when you have multiple party members, and sometimes multiple enemies (I'm told this part specifically gets more egregious as the game goes on). I don't think it's awful or unsalvageable but I'm not super into it as of the point we're at.

This is a pattern.

Leveling up is a manual process that you have to unlock, and it involves going to a save point (any save point? we didn't check), to enter the Mind Dungeon, to enter the actual Mind Dungeon, to walk down a set of stairs and enter individual doors one-by-one, so that you can choose how you want to allocate stat increases, so that you can walk down a different set of stairs to commit your choices and spend your banked experience to level up. I think "you can only power up at specific points / times / locations" and the granularity of stat growth are interesting ideas, and the environment they made for it are a charming idea, and I don't think it needed to be a "Hotel Mario" level that you had to slowly walk through. It could have been a menu. They could have used the resources for a nice background or backdrop for a menu that accomplishes the same thing.

This is a pattern.

I haven't really mentioned anything about the story or writing yet. The protagonist's name is Alex and he's a very self-important nerdy misanthropic dickhead white man (a very specific kind of guy that I've definitely met at least once or twice) who is obsessed with a paranormal message board populated by people like him and desperate to find out more about the disappearance of a woman he witnessed. (The woman & her disappearance are based on the real life death of Elisa Lam & aren't handled with a whole lot of tact, IMO, but other people have put this into better words than I can right now. It sucks. It keeps coming up and it makes me bristle every time.) Alex is a bad person. I know he is. You know he is. The game knows he is. I've seen some reviews say a negative point of the game is "the main characters aren't likeable", which I don't really get, because that's the point of the characters, as far as I can tell. The issue, then, is how much time the game takes to exposit at you how bad the characters are. It's exhausting. Every time Alex has a monologue, it feels like it sums up to 10 minutes of "I am a bad person. I am a bad person. Alex is a bad person. This character is a bad person. Do you get it? He's a bad person. Alex is a bad person. Do you understand yet, player? Alex is a bad person. You should know that he's a bad person. Do you get it?"

This is a pattern.

(I don't know how interested I am in bringing up the game's lead writer right now, if at all, but there's a well-known anecdote where he talks about wanting to write a story about a bad person who is forced to grapple with himself and do better, and how the reason why his game wasn't well-received was because people who play video games didn't get it & weren't ready for a story like that. I dunno. I can understand being upset about negative reception to something you poured time and sweat into, and saying something hasty because of it. "Final Fantasy 4" is a beloved RPG classic, though, and "Disco Elysium" came out the same year to overwhelming praise. I haven't played either of these yet, though, so I'll admit maybe I'm off the mark here.)

The characters we've met so far (i.e. the ones that aren't unnamed NPCs) are… well. There's a smarmy younger kid who idolizes(?) Alex & also made the aforementioned paranormal website. So far it seems like he mostly exists to go "hey fuck you Alex, you dickhead" and immediately say something even more insensitive. There's the insensitive based-on-a-real=ass-dead-woman elevator woman, who immediately disappeared from the narrative while still being an essential part of the narrative. There was a dead(?) robot in a bedroom, who had a choir of ominous hooded people monologue about how weird and sad and strange and uncanny the scene is. What the!? There's a woman who works at the arcade and has Powers. Her design's cute. (I feel like, generally, the game's visuals are Fine. The audio, too. That all ranges from Just Fine to Surprisingly Neat. I don't really have much issue with those aspects of the game, but I don't have much to say about them either.) Alex and Kid Whose Name I Didn't Care To Remember are constantly very uncomfortable to her, because she's a woman and because she isn't white, in the 15 or so minutes we've seen her on-screen, and she gets to tell them off, but then immediately kind of goes "well whatever I can smile and put up with this and hang out with you". It feels misogynistic. I know to some degree Alex is misogynistic on purpose, because the game is bludgeoning your skull in and yelling "ALEX IS SHITTY TO WOMEN! AND PEOPLE OF COLOUR! DO YOU GET IT? HE'S SELF ABSORBED IN A SHITTY WAY! DO YOU GET IT, PLAYER? YOU UNDERSTAND THAT ALEX SUCKS ASS YET? MAYBE 10 MORE MINUTES OF THIS WILL MAKE IT CLICK?" But for a woman of colour (the only one we've seen so far who isn't Probably Just Dead) to finally tell him off for being a shithead, only to turn around and go "well it's ok, you're cool now, let's hang out now because it's narratively convenient and you're the protagonist" is pretty damn egregious!

This is a pattern.

Writing in general feels stilted and long-winded. Most of the main characters feel like they don't talk like people do. Alex gets to feel like a person but that's mostly because he gets to talk to himself so damn much. Most of his monologues feel like overly flowery prose, like someone padded it out with identical adjectives to meet a school essay word count. There's an interesting idea or premise or setpiece every now and then. There's a spark. A glint of something compelling. Every single time this has happened so far I find it immediately snuffed out by an over-blown "oh my god!!!!!!! how weird!!!!!!', or a very long plot dump, or a Joss Whedon-ass quip. There can be no small moment of joy. No story element or visual element can stand on its own legs. There can be no room for ideas to breathe. No space for the player to wonder, to dream, to play in the space. The narrative is compelled to suffocate iself on itself, to take up all space, to swallow itself whole in its making. One very minor (so far?) side character has some interesting dialogue in this one dream world, and I think "oh that's neat", and then I learn they're lines taken wholesale from a book (and I think that's fine, reference is fine, but I have a bit of a chuckle over the fact that this character is the reason why the game has a giant REFERENCES option in the main menu). The literal first minute of the game is a bird telling you "oh my god, the title of this game, right? why'd they spell it like that? so fucking dumb, am I right!" It feels insecure. It reads like the writing has no confidence in itself. It has to make a comment about how silly and video-gamey it is, roll its eyes at itself, mock itself for the thing it's doing while continuing to do it without addressing it or discussing it or doing anything with it.

This is a pattern.

There's a specific part of "YIIK", at this early point in the game (we're only around the start[?] of chapter 2), that feels emblematic of the thing as a whole up to this point. Alex is getting phone calls from a stranger. They're confusing and weird and sound a little like something you might hear in a dream. They make references to some shared past, some childhood, some understanding of Alex, or maybe of you, the player. They've come up a few times. Every single time, I'm left thinking about what it could mean, how it fits in with everything we've seen so far & what the game seems to be talking about, with regards to connecting to other people and to yourself. It's a neat little thing. It's a neat idea. I'm charmed by it. As much as my thoughts on this game are largely negative, I still try to look at it fairly, to understand it, to talk about it, to let myself be surprised by it. As soon as I find myself thinking about this, my thoughts are immediately drowned out by Alex telling me how weird the phone call is, how random and uncanny and dumb this is, and how he's rolling his proverbial eyes about it, in spite of all the other paranormal happenings around him, for another period of Just Too Long. And I am sapped of all strength and I crumble to dust.

I'm genuinely transfixed. I'm transfixed! Maybe the fact that I wrote Paragraphs about the 4-or-5 hours I've seen of the game can tell you as much, even if you skip everything I wrote in them.

I can't wait to see more.

This, too, is a pattern.

[venacoeurva]

Let’s play the game of

[toskarin]

Since Bethesda was so insistent on moving away from Morrowind's combat system for Oblivion and Skyrim, what would you have replaced it with?

contrary to what it might seem, I don't think replacing the skyrim combat system wholesale with sekiro or dark souls is really a viable solution to the problem, because it's fun for a mod load order, but it definitely makes the game feel unskyrim

so I'd approach this more from the angle of "what needs to be added to fill the void left behind by the simplified combat"

design rambles below the break. this is less of me offering actual solutions and more of me just saying what I'd do if I were given all the resources and executive power in the world for it, from an armchair. and it goes without saying these are all just Opinions

one of the largest basic design issues with modern bethesda melee combat is that it's tied really hard into melee being a single button input. if they want to stick with that, they should at least implement directional attacks and blocking (which I'll mention now is not something new for TES) with a simple aiming scheme, possibly similar to mount&blade's

stealing something else from m&b while I'm at it, two attacks colliding from the same direction within a tight frame window should clash

enemies need to have attacks you don't want to get hit by. somewhere in their list of moves, enemies need to do something different that necessitates either dodging, blocking, or otherwise reacting in any way. they also need to gapclose, but that's a given

healing consumables need to have a cooldown. as funny as cramming items in your face by the stack during combat is, it's a bandaid to an enormous design flaw in melee combat not being interesting. if you really wanted, you could keep some of that flow by having a skill for mixing preexisting potions together into single doses

addendum to that previous point, players should have a hotbar that allows lower cooldown consumption of certain items, which cannot be reconfigured in combat

magic needs to be stronger and riskier. heavy armour should eat into your damage and efficiency significantly, medium armour should do it just a little bit, and casting past your magicka pool should start consuming health at twice the rate it consumes magicka

blocking should have a higher damage reduction cap (it is currently 85%-95% DR depending on armour) but scale depending on how precisely you block an attack and eat into your stamina much more (with a stagger at zero, to steal another mechanic)

as they are, the entire shout system is a symptom of bad design. having a cooldown-based system that gives non-magic characters spells removes the strongest incentive to play magic characters. I'm actually not sure what to even do about this one that doesn't involve cutting all of the overlapping skills and keeping its focus on weird utilities? as a rule, I kind of hate every gameplay concept that uses "this is something only the player can do" as its skeleton, so this is a tough one for me to poke at

hitstop

[the-elder-polls]

salem pls pls pls go on the rant about Neverar's death I NEED it

oh how thou enable mine soul. i apologize in advance because i am scatter brained and bad at formulating my thoughts (doesn't help that this topic is so weird) but here we go.

OKAY. so. i'm gonna start with foundations that i'll reference throughout this. starting with seht, specifically, seht's eso dialogue. i will link the uesp page HERE (ref point 1) to keep from having to copy-paste big swaths of text. i'll also link ayem (ref point 2) and vehk's (ref point 3), PLUS ayem (ref point 4) and vehk's (ref point 5) morrowind pages. if anyone wants me to snip the exact dialogue i'm referencing, please just lemme know.

SO. some main principles i want to draw from all of those are:

seht is upset about but accepts his place as a npc. he knows he is a npc, he knows he cannot change this, he just seeks to try to affect what he can. (ref point 1)

vehk knows he is a NPC and wants to be the Prisoner, aka the player character, because the Prisoner can be anyone, whereas he can only be vehk. (ref point 1)

almalexia seems to share the same knowledge as the other two, but denies it in favor of attempting to create her own narrative. (ref point 1, 4, and 5)

next, we'll talk about our beloved lorkahn, freak extraordinaire, god of mortals, spirit of nirn. his uesp page will be ref point 6.

obviously, lorkhan's heart is tied to nerevar's fate. it's tied to SO many fates--the tribunal, the nerevarine, dagoth ur, nerevar, the dwemer, etc which is rather fitting for the god of mortals i think. (i also won't go into my ramble about nerevar's parallels with lorkhan because that's a whole other ordeal)

vehk claims that nerevar and dumac fought and fell from the wounds inflicted upon each other. simultaneously, vehk straight up admits to killing nerevar (ref point 5), then just as easily says no, they didn't, actually (ref point 5) and says that that's just a lie spread by alandro sul. vehk is an infamously unreliable source. he lies as easy as he breathes, if not easier.

the battle of red mountain is an entire fucking thing. i really cannot even try to explain what happened during it because of the conflicting sources (see: the previous paragraph where vehk vehks ominously) but we DO at the very least know that the heart was struck, the dwemer disappeared, and nerevar died. whether or not he died DURING the battle or AFTER isn't entirely clear; again, conflicting sources.

aaaaaaaand then, there's dagoth ur. he loves nerevar, he hates nerevar. nerevar betrayed him, he betrayed nerevar. again. conflicting fucking sources. yet another "entire fucking thing" that i can't really go into detail on because i would derail myself so fast.

whatever happened at the battle of red mountain, at least two things are certain: nerevar died and the dwemer disappeared. we genuinely do not know what happened. is it likely the tribunal killed nerevar? yes, it's incredibly likely. but we do not have a 110% concrete answer of "yes, the tribunal absolutely killed nerevar" because even the tribunal don't seem to genuinely know. i think it's part of what is driving them out of their minds. even they don't know. because, like seht mentions/implies, they are bound to the will of the writers and the writers have not given any concrete answers.

i am personally a fan of the idea that it was a dragon break kind of situation, where all realities are simultaneously true and false, because it just feels the most...right, to me.

i had to significantly trim this because oh my god i rambled so much but. tldr we don't know and probably never will. also please nobody yell at me it's 4 am here and i'm just doing this

[southernreaches]

tag game! make a poll with your top 5 favourite antagonists and ask your followers to vote for their favourite!

i wanted to make a new tag game specifically about Bad GuysTM because i think your favourite says a lot about you .. it's interesting at least :D !! i also think people can be a bit Weird about Bad GuysTM likers so... some positivity :3c

it doesn't have to be a true bad character btw just someone you/the characters go Against in whatever media it is !! so villain.. antagonist.. friend to enemy... enemy to friend.. etc etc it all counts !

i also wanted to put ardbert and hermes from ffxiv on here but i figured one ffxiv character is enough heheheh

tagging people who liked this post undercut!! if u weren't tagged consider this me tagging you :3

@aeducanthaig @roseeway @nokstella @rosenfey

@hellionsheart @pawnguild @orzamara @wormskul

@azatas @ikarons @onewingedangels @gallusneve

@vitanithepure @heinrix @luttara @ellwyns

@swordcoasts @ratscrap @mt07131 @claudiawolf

@lestatlioncunt @nepheliloux @arborstone @warrior-of-sunlight

@jerichoes @hungryblackbird @vanoefucks @drakefisher

@eluvixns <- i dont remember if u interacted with this but i want u to do it HEHE

[falmerbrook]

People have probably asked you this before but what is your personal interpretation of The Battle of Red Mountain? Personally, I love the idea of Dagoth being tempted by the heart despite him being the one guy to urge the tools not be used. (Nerevar too to an extent but he’s bad at making decisions)

I just love my tragic six council.

*rubbing my hands together* This is the perfect question for me! I have already given this much thought because I too love drama. So you're getting a bit of an essay; I hope you are ok with that :D. Skip down a bit if you just want just my thoughts on my interpretation, but I'm gonna start by laying out the options and my thoughts on some of the different interpretations first.

So first of all, I don't think there is a canon for it. Both in the sense that I don't think Bethesada or the Morrowind team actually have a solid canon idea of what went down, and that I don't think any one retelling has overwhelming evidence that blows the others out of the water completely (although some have more merit to me than others).

The other strong opinion I have is that I dislike the Dragon Break explanation (at least in the way I see most people present it). Despite Dragon Breaks being one of the more interesting pieces of lore (and one of my favorite watsonian explanations for an in-game thing ever), I think it is the most boring interpretation of the BoRM. I know there's some canon support for it, but it just doesn't speak to me. Like, if every version of the battle could have happened "simultaneously" because of a Dragon Break, then that means that there's a chance no one is lying because the version they tell is truly how they experienced it, even if someone else experienced something else. Where's the fun in that? We're here for tragedy and lies and drama.

So I sort of see there being 6 main versions of what happened that we've been given (with some details changed depending on the exact source): 1) the Ashlander version (descended from the account of Alandro Sul, 2) the Temple version, 3) the Nord version (from the Five Songs of King Wulfharth), 4) the version in the 36 Lessons of Vivec, 5) Vivec's version (as told to the Dissident Priests and the Nerevarine), and 6) Dagoth Ur's version.

The Ashlander version (x) (x) (x) has the Tribunal outside of the mountain fending off the Dwemer army while Nerevar and Voryn fought Dumac and Kagrenac in the Heart Chamber. These put Voryn (and presumably House Dagoth) on the side of the Chimer. Progress of Truth claims the Dwemer destroyed themselves, while Nerevar at Red Mountain claims Azura showed Nerevar how to "use the tools to separate the power of the Heart from the Dwemer people" (whatever that means) and turned them to dust. After that, Nerevar is kinda fucked up, so while Voryn urges him to destroy the tools, he tells Voryn to guard them while he get's the Tribunal's opinion. They're like "let's keep 'em" and he's like "actually never mind I want Azura's opinion" so they poison him, take the tools, and kill Voryn. This one is interesting because the Ashlander mythology and culture seems to be mostly based on oral tradition, so the versions we see of their accounts have been written by scholarly outsiders (obscuring the truth even further). Additionally, they claim this version was passed down from the the account of Alandro Sul, but that leaves a lot of time for this version of the story to change and morph. These are probably, like, 30th level accounts of what happened.

The official Temple version (x) (x) (x) (x) (x) claims Nerevar was martyred in the BoRM, dying of his injuries, and puts House Dagoth and Voryn on the side of the Dwemer. Most of these claim Nerevar killed Dumac and then died from his own injuries (Saint Nerevar specifically claims these were injuries inflicted by Voryn), but don't specify what happened to Voryn or what was going on with the Tribunal during the battle. This version is much more vague about pretty much everything than the Ashlander or Vivec versions. The thing to note with these sources is they are either obviously biased propaganda from the Tribunal Temple or are drawing from obviously biased propaganda from the Tribunal Temple.

The Nord version (x) is way different from the others and for that reason I kinda ignore it to be honest. So in this version (as far as I can tell?) after the War of the First Council kicks up, Voryn drags the Nords into it by telling them he knew where the Heart of Shor (Lorkhan) was. This version seems to put the Nords and House Daogth (including Voryn) on one side and the Chimer and Dwemer on the other. Nerevar and Dumac are still buddies here and fight Voryn and Wulfharth in the Heart Chamber. Voryn kills Dumac. Nerevar kills Voryn. Lorkhan kills Nerevar. Nerevar kills Lorkhan. Alandro Sul is blind now. Vivec might be there.

The 36 Lessons of Vivec version (x) is also one I kinda ignore in terms of what happened during the BoRM since it too is essentially propaganda and largely lies (also I have a hard time understanding it). From my understanding, Vivec puts the Dwemer and Nords against the Chimer. There's sort of an overall placing of the "Sharmat" against the Chimer/Nerevar as well, but no explicit mention of what Voryn or House Dagoth is doing. The Tribunal destroy the Dwemer and "remove them from the world", while Nerever "went too far inside [Red Mountain], seeking the Sharmat [Voryn]" as it exploded. I guess that's how Nerevar dies? Of course, there is also that infamous secret message in the lessons: "He was not born a god. His destiny did not lead him to this crime. He chose this path of his own free will. He stole the godhood and murdered the Hortator. Vivec wrote this."

Vivec's version to the Dissident Priests (x) is probably the most detailed, and one of two that are first hand accounts. In this version, he claims that during the battle Nerevar and Voryn went into the Heart Chamber and fought Dumac and Co., where Nerevar killed him. Kagrenac did something with the Heart and *poof* all of the Dwemer are gone. Voryn tells Nerevar they should destroy the tools, but Nerevar wants to get the Tribunal's opinion. They tell him to keep them, and he agreed under the condition that "the tools would never be used in the profane manner that the Dwemer had intended". Nerevar and the Tribunal go to get the tools from Voryn, but he refuses to give them up, so the gang fights him, gets the tools back, and Voryn escapes. The Tribunal keep their oath for years (Nerevar nebulously stops existing during this time) before using them and pissing off Azura.

Daogth Ur's version (x), claims that he loyally served Nerevar until the end, and Nerevar betrayed him by killing him after telling to him to guard the tools. "Yet beneath Red Mountain, you struck me down as I guarded the treasure you bound me by oath to defend. It was a cruel blow, a bitter betrayal, to be felled by your hand." What a wordsmith!

The one depiction we have of Nerevar's murder is a sketch Kirkbride did for Morrowind's 10th anniversary and it doesn't match a single one of the other versions we have, but because it's visual (and dramatic) it is burned into the fandom zeitgeist so it's worth mentioning.

So none of these line up completely, but there is some significant overlap between a few.

Interestingly, the Ashlander version of the build up to the War of the First Council and the events of the battle itself up until Nerevar goes to chat with the Tribunal is pretty much the same (with the exception of how the Dwemer disappeared) as Vivec's account to the Dissident Priests. Where they differ is in what happened to the Dwemer, Voryn, and Nerevar. To me that makes that sequence of events the most likely of all of the options from a "which is most likely canon" perspective, and the differences between the two come down to bias, with the Alandro Sul and the Ashlanders trying to bolster Nerevar's accomplishments and portray the Tribunal poorly, and Vivec trying to dissuade any suspicion that he killed Nerevar.

Also interestingly, Dagoth Ur's account matches Vivec's pretty closely, with Vivec claiming Nerevar (and the Tribunal) had to fight Voryn to get the tools back, and Dagoth Ur claiming Nerevar killed him (presumably to get the tools back), despite their completely opposing biases. That's gotta mean something. I'm not sure Voryn ever actually says the Tribunal murdered Nerevar now that I'm thinking about it (please correct me if I'm wrong), rather just implies they betrayed him (which could of course include murder though). Meanwhile, Vivec's secret message in the 36 Lessons is basically a murder confession.

This is so messy (in the best way).

SKIP HERE FOR JUST MY THOUGHTS!

So which one do I like? It depends. Like I've said before, I'm here for interpersonal tragedy among Nerevar and Co., so the version I prefer depends on what part of the tragedy you want to focus on. If I want an interpretation of the story that focuses mostly on Nerevar and the Tribunal's relationship, the Ashlander version where they murder him is the most juicy. But a version where he dies from his fight with Voryn, and the Tribunal watch him die, might be the most tragic. If I want the focus on Nerevar and Voryn's messiness, then perhaps his version where Nerevar kills him is the best fit. If I want a focus on Nerevar and Dumac, perhaps Nerevar dies from those wounds. One of my favorite things about Morrowind is that there is no right interpretation, so you can mix and match for the circumstances of what kind of story you want to tell! You don't even have to be consistent. So much angst potential! So much fun to be had!

If I had to create a best ""canon"" interpretation though based on all of those versions I just detailed, it would be this: Following the Ashlanders' and Vivec's account of the build up to the battle, with the Dwemer (and Nords and Orcs are there too I guess idc) on one side and all of the Chimer houses and tribes on the other, Nerevar, Voryn, and Alandro Sul (among others) end up in the Heart Chamber while the Tribunal lead the charge against the bulk of the Dwemer army outside of the mountain. During the fight in the Heart Chamber, Nerevar and Dumac fight one-on-one, ending with Nerevar very injured, but having killed Dumac (it's tragic and emotional. Poor Nerevar). With Dumac's death, the direction of the battle turns to Kagrenac, who is messing with the tools and the Heart. Knowing everything is about to close in on him, Kagrenac does... something... to the Heart and the Dwemer all disappear (I personally like to think it was a lot less planned and perfected than most like to think. It was a panic move). His tools are left behind, and Voryn gets them and tells Nerevar they should destroy them, considering what they just saw and what he knows personally of Kagrenac. Nerevar is pretty delirious and distressed, and doesn't trust himself enough to make the decision. Knowing he hadn't trusted the Tribunal as much as he should have about the Dwemer leading up to this point, he decides it would be best to get their input. He tells Voryn to stay with the tools, and while Voryn is hesitant to be there alone (that could be because he is nervous to be in the presence of the Heart with the tools, or because he doesn't want Nerevar alone with the Tribunal or getting their advice), Nerevar trusts him fully. He is helped out of the mountain and to the Tribunal, who are dealing with the aftermath of the Dwemer disappearing. Note that at this point in their lives, they are annoyed and frustrated with his leadership, and don't trust his decision making too much. They urge him to keep the tools, and he is not thrilled about it, but relents because he is tired. They all rest a few hours, and then go back into Red Mountain to get Voryn and the tools. There, for whatever reason, Voryn won't give them back (I'll get back to why in a minute), and things escalate very quickly, with the situation ending with Nerevar having killed him. Nerevar, now having killed two of his closest friends over this, changes his mind and decides against using the tools, making the Tribunal swear an oath to never use them, period. They aren't thrilled about this, and their animosity towards Nerevar just grows. They either bide their time and wait for Nerevar to die, or kill him themselves sometime after this, after which they use the tools and piss off Azura.

So back to the topic of Voryn, your point about him is interesting. I feel like there's so many ways to interpret him in this situation and how exactly he was invovled. How did he find out about what the Dwemer (or at least Kagrenac) were doing? What side was he on during the war? Was House Dagoth on his side? Did he mess with the tools when he was left alone with them? If he did, why?

Knowing he was probably closer with Dumac and Kagrenac (whether that be personally and/or politically) than most other Chimer, that could explain how he knew about the heart. I've had a thought in the past that perhaps one of them straight up showed him the Heart and the Numidium, which spurred him to warn Nerevar about it. What if that exposure to it fucked with his head a little, like radiation? Afterwards, he could always feels it's pull and beating, and it only got stronger when he got closer to the mountain. It's like a drug that gets you hooked instantly. My thought was perhaps that was the reason why 1) he is hesitant to watch the tools (and be alone with the Heart), 2) wanted the tools destroyed, knowing first hand how maddeningly powerful the Heart is, and 3) he gave in and messed with the Heart when left alone. There is a delightful irony to him being the first of the Chimer to use the tools despite being the one to most strongly urge not to.

On the other hand, it is from Vivec's account to the Dissident Priests that we get the idea that he had messed with the tools when left alone with them, and of course Vivec has reason to portray Dagoth Ur as insane and unreasonable and corrupted by the Heart to the priests. Perhaps though, Voryn had been faithful and hadn't done anything with them, and was instead unwilling to give the tools to Nerevar because he didn't want them in the hands of the Tribunal, who he believed wouldn't be so noble. Vivec only depicts this as an irrational and power hungry move as projection. On that note, I wish we could've gotten Almalexia and Sotha Sil's account of what happened. I'm sure they'd be just as dubious as Vivec's, but they would've been fun to analyze.

One last thing, I've always been curious about House Dagoth's involvement in the War of the First Council. While the Temple puts them on the side of the Dwemer, it's pretty safe to say this is a form of propaganda to make them look bad after their house was disbanded and essentially erased from history. Other sources give little mention of House Dagoth, but mention their leader, Voryn, as serving under Nerevar, so it's likely the house was on his side as well. I have had the curious idea before though that perhaps House Dagoth, having been more closely aligned and politically/culturally similar to the Dwemer compared to the other houses, had a fracturing caused by the war, with some following Voryn's leadership on the side of the Chimer, and others following the Dwemer. This could explain the conflicting accounts of whose side they were on (ignoring the propaganda angle). But that's more AU than a headcanon.

Anyway, TLDR: it depends! There is no one account that is particularly more canon than others (although i think some are more reliable than others). Different scenarios maximize different drama for different characters, so my interpretation depends on what you want to get out of depicting that battle!

Oh my god I am so sorry this is so long. I'm sure you didn't want this much, but I just have so many thoughts and I figured his would be a good opportunity to vomit them all into the world. If anyone actually read this whole thing, I appreciate you greatly!!

[chameleonspell]

HTDC commentary - 2: labels

[Looking back at HTDC after nearly ten years: comments on lore, character notes, influences, art, whatever. May contain spoilers for later chapters.]

chapter text: 2: labels

Another chapter where I made no concessions to anyone who hadn't played Morrowind! It's just an extended riff on the character generation questionnaire. I think I simultaneously felt like I had to include it, but also thought it was boring and obvious to narrate gameplay mechanics everyone knew about, so I just... made Ire say a lot of silly things about licking sugar off boys, rather than have him answer any of the questions properly. Oh well, at least it's established that Ire hates his ma. Also that Iriel likes sugar, but that fact will soon become apparent.

Really, though, while this scene is played for laughs, it's true that this is the first conversation Iriel has had in more than a year where what he says actually matters, and he is expected to act like a normal person, exercising concepts like social propriety. He is pulling his entire personality out of mothballs, having not used it for a very long time. This was how he survived jail - depersonalisation, entering a state where he could say or do anything he liked, because it wasn't real, he wasn't real. He calls it madness, here, and later says of it: 

"It’s a funny old place, jail. In odd ways, it frees you. From shame, for example. Shame is for people with something left to lose, somewhere further to fall."

Freedom means personhood. Freedom means that Iriel has to deal with shame again, and now he's gonna get hit full force.

This is purely a psychometric test, designed to illuminate character.” Iriel immediately looked five times as terrified as before.

Personhood... feels bad. Feels dangerous and embarrassing, like he's trying to smuggle a ferret made of Semtex and razor blades through customs, inside his vest.

Iriel is frantically scrabbling to regain control of what information he is revealing about himself to others, failing utterly, and convinced that everything about him is awful. The fact Socucius is being nice to him only makes it worse, because that means the point where he turns angrily on Ire is still to come! Guilt as inherent personality trait, because your entire personality is something to feel guilty about.

Speaking of Personality, as an illusion mage, Iriel technically had a very high Personality stat, in-game. In this scene, we establish that this is not because of any great beauty or charismatic facility with speech on his part. No, Iriel gets people to help him through the sheer, pleading, pathetic power of his big, wet, puppydog eyes. Clearly, this is why he has to sit under tables - because he's too tall to look up at people, now, so he needs to crawl down low, and blink owlishly up at them.

Ire was wrinkling his nose. “No, no, I heard you. I just can’t picture myself choosing any of those options. If you’d ever met my mother, you’d understand.”

For the non-Morrowinders present, there is a chargen question about what action you would take to save your mother from being hit by a burning pipe. There is no option to answer "I would cheerfully let my mother get hit by a burning pipe, because we have the sort of relationship where that is my idea of a good time."

I still don’t understand why you reject the label of “mage” or “sorcerer”, when you were a student of magic both at the Crystal Tower in the Summerset Isles and the Arcane University in Cyrodiil."

Absolutely intentional choice on my part to choose to write a scholar, because it gives me free rein to make them say silly academic vocabulary, and generally indulge my love of that sort of character voice. Not yet, as Ire's still regaining his mind, but definitely later on.

Iriel keeps it grounded and proves he's actually common as muck with the constant, reflexive swearing, which I just thought was funny. My previous TES writing project had been PG and in strict lore-compliant limits, so I wanted to let elves say "fuck", now. Saying "fuck" is cool, actually, and makes you sound really grown-up.

Anyway, what's Iriel got against labels? Well, a label's what you use to broadcast information about yourself, which is clearly a horrible idea.

Iriel twisted a strand of his hair. It was a nervous habit, but one he was secretly happy to regain, since they had shaved his head - under screaming, sobbing protest - on admittance to the Imperial Prison, and on a monthly basis, thereafter.

This was not just Iriel being a dramatic baby. It was a massive and traumatic violation to him, and would have been for most Altmer. I think long hair is very important to Altmeri cultural ideals of beauty, regardless of gender, but most of all, it's hugely tied to social status. Having short hair is not merely common, it's gross. It's like having fleas, or a skin condition - you understand some people can't help it, but it's still awful to contemplate. Iriel explains this, much later:

Hair is a very serious business, where I’m from. It’s a sign of class, position, lifestyle. Nobody above merchant caste would ever cut their hair voluntarily, it implies you’re not in a position to take proper care of it. Or your occupation involves tasks so unbearably practical that even braiding isn’t enough. My pa cut his hair - too much wind and seawater not to. Ma wouldn’t let him cut mine. She wanted better for me.” 

Hands you felt safe in. I don’t have hands like that.

Iriel's belief that there are two kinds of people, safe ones and unsafe ones, this is inherent and predetermined, and he is not one of them. Very Altmeri of him: goodness and badness is in the blood, there's nothing you can do to change it.

In more practical, narrative terms, healing magic is such a get out of jail free card, in a story. It was so much easier for me to bring the drama, if I made sure that Iriel was very bad at it, and couldn't be splashing it around all the time, to solve his problems.

There had been instructions about duties, but by that stage, Ire had regressed back into the disconnected state he privately called “the numb”, and it had all washed over him meaninglessly.

Established: reason we're gonna totally ignore the main quest for as long as possible.

He stared at the damp little village before him. Buildings. People walking about. Turning around. Looking at him. He clutched the bag to his chest and tried to concentrate.

All right, Ire. You need supplies and directions. Get yourself oriented. Talk to the locals, find a shop, get used to how things work here. You can do this.

More people began to notice him and send him curious glances. A Bosmer man smiled encouragingly, and seemed on the verge of coming over to initiate conversation.

He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t do any of it.

Ire made a small, despairing noise, pointed himself in a random direction and walked straight out of the village into the swamp.

So, this is kind of where my original Morrowind playthrough stopped being me playing the game like a gamer, and became a character exploration, instead. When I started, I was just going to play Morrowind, do all the quests, go wherever seemed fun or useful, based on my extensive knowledge as an experienced player. I was in Seyda Neen, so I would go through the standard motions: sell the limeware platter, give Fargoth his ring, buy some spells and equipment, all the usual things you do in the starter town, to set yourself up for the game.

But when I stepped out of the Census Office, I was already far enough into Iriel's head that I could only feel his sense of being totally socially and sensorially overwhelmed, something that was very familiar to me, and I realised this was going to be a very different kind of playthrough.

This was my reply to a question asked of me by pigeonfancier on tumblr:

What inspired you to write the fic this way?

It started out because I needed to. I was suffering from intermittent bouts of mental horrible, my social anxiety was getting unmanageable and I kept fantasising about invisibility. Worse, I kept losing words. It felt like my brain was disintegrating.

Morrowind is my favourite game, my comfort zone, my happy place. I started a new game, and put some of my stresses into the character. And when he refused point blank to talk to anyone in Seyda Neen, and just ran off into the swamp, I thought, maybe this is a story. And maybe if I write it, I can put lots of words into it, so that I don’t lose them. And maybe I can explore ways to survive in a world that often seems very frightening.

next: 3: breathe previous: 1: numb

[priafey]

AO3 Twenty Questions

tagged by @ladytanithia. a big thank you, as always!

tagging @inkoherentwriting, @azures-grace and YOU, dear reader

(copy/paste for the questions below the cut)

1 – How many works do you have on AO3?

Four, not counting the work I published as a reference list for my OCs.

2 – What's your total AO3 word count?

84,627

3 – What fandoms do you write for?

Just TES:Skyrim for the moment. Sadly, I haven't been able to play any of the other games just yet.

4 – What are your top five fics by kudos?

I'm dying for Among the Many Lost Souls to surpass Sought and Found. It was my first venture into longform writing and it shows. Bleh.

5 – Do you respond to comments?

Almost always. If I don't respond, it's usually because I tried my darndest and couldn't think of a constructive or meaningful response.

6 – What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

The one I'm writing right now :3c (Among the Many Lost Souls). I'm putting Gwilin through the wringer and then I'm gonna hang him out to dry.

7 – What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Sought and Found, I suppose.

8 – Do you get hate on fics?

No, I don't. I lowkey wish I did. Firstly, because haters can be remarkably perceptive, and, secondly, because I am as interested in what makes someone scrunch up their nose or click away from my fic as I am about hearing people's thoughts on what was well-executed about them. I think my stuff is too niche to really draw a lot of negative attention (right now, at least).

9 – Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Always, my man! I consider it my moral duty to make my characters fuck nasty. Why? BECAUSE IT'S HOT DUHHH

10 – Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

People who write crossovers scare me so bad. I can barely limp my way through having to structure a plot around already-existing lore and making sure everything that happens in the story is congruent with in-universe rules, meanwhile there are people out there writing Skyrim x The Walking Dead crossovers. It's cocobananas.

11 – Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not as far as I know. I don't really give a fuck if people steal my shit. Fighting with someone over authorship of a work that is principally riding on the coattails of an existing IP, which can't even be monetized, mind you, feels like a real 'race to the bottom' situation to me. I'm well aware of the quality of my work and I'm proud to have the drive to constantly better my skills. That's all that matters.

12 – Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope. Though I did start translating Sought and Found into Spanish, I dropped it when I started writing Among the Many Lost Souls. In any case, I would be so, so touched if someone decided to translate a fic of mine.

13 – Have you ever co-written a fic?

Also nope. Never tried collaborative writing outside of an academic setting. Totally open to it, though!

14 – What's your all-time favorite ship?

Uh, I'm not real big on shipping existing characters. I mostly just think about my OCs, or my friend's OCs, with each other. Aside from Gwilin x [pretty much every other NPC in Skyrim], I think thoughts about @abstractredd's guys, Hedgrod and Athrar, quite often.

15 – What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Fic-related WIP? Just one. I wanted to write another romance fic (like Sought and Found) featuring a netch farmer who's a cowboy-type character. Sexy Dunmer with a southwestern accent. Brokeback Mountain: Morrowind Edition. You get the picture.

I might still finish it, but I'm reluctant to even touch it because I haven't played Morrowind, and would have to do a real deep-dive into everything related to Dunmer in TES lore to write it. I know a lot already, but I never feel like I know enough, y'know?

16 – What are your writing strengths?

I've been told I'm good at setting a scene and painting a picture. This is, I think, a new ability I acquired in the past year or so. I've also been told my smut-writing abilities are pretty good, which is always nice to hear :) If I had to list what I consider to be my own strengths, I'd add that I've gotten a lot better at cutting the fat out of my writing (especially from dialogue tags and in describing facial expressions and body language).

17 – What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue is a bitch a half for me to write. It's probably the thing I most obsessively tweak before publishing. I think my dialogue tends to fall short.

Pacing is another issue. I often criticize, in other fic author's works, that they present an interesting image or idea and then leave me hungry because they don't elaborate on it, but I am the biggest culprit of this if I don't constantly remind myself that, yes, people want to hear more about this or that. They want you to mystify it, justify it, make it sexy, make it like a puzzle for them to solve. You can't just leave it cut-and-dry, much as my autism compels to do because "It's quite literally saying the same thing". Like, that's great, bestie, but you have to elaborate! Say the same thing just make it sound cooler than it is!

18 – Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

This is cool. I don't mind busting out Google Translate to enjoy a fic. That mouse-hovering feature that lets you add alternative text to a fic on ao3 is super useful for this sort of thing.

19 – First fandom you wrote for?

My first, and only other, fandom: My Little Pony. I was 12.

20 – Favorite fic you've written?

I love them all for different reasons, BUT Among the Many Souls has blood and sex and drama in it, so yeah. It's in the lead.

1 – How many works do you have on AO3?

2 – What's your total AO3 word count?

3 – What fandoms do you write for?

4 – What are your top five fics by kudos?

5 – Do you respond to comments?

6 – What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

7 – What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

8 – Do you get hate on fics?

9 – Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

10 – Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

11 – Have you ever had a fic stolen?

12 – Have you ever had a fic translated?

13 – Have you ever co-written a fic?

14 – What's your all-time favorite ship?

15 – What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

16 – What are your writing strengths?

17 – What are your writing weaknesses?

18 – Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

19 – First fandom you wrote for?

20 – Favorite fic you've written?

[aladaylessecondblog]

Red Mountain Waffle House Pt. 1

A job, the skooma-head (or sugartooth around here) had said. But she'd have to come up with some cover by doing some favors for the Fighters' Guild and Mages' Guild. And collect some information from them, too...honestly, it was such a load of shit and the guy looked so crazy Sadara could only make quick excuses before rushing out the door.

A spymaster for the Blades? That guy was crazy, and obviously lying. And that package, who knew what was actually in it. Probably she was just made into some kind of drug mule, and she wasn't eager to get into THAT business, however profitable it might be. That business about the Emperor was obviously some kind of front.

Why the port at Seyda Neen had insisted on giving her those papers and what they meant - it wasn't going to be HER problem any longer. She'd find her own way just like she always had.

Emperor my ass, that was probably a smuggler taking a lofty title.

Guarshit. Absolute guarshit. She didn't feel the least bit bad about lifting a couple cigarettes from Caius's stash--not like he was using them anyway, not from how dusty they were and how blistered that spoon under his bed looked.

Jiub, she had to find Jiub. If that man was good at anything it was finding a way to land on his feet. Murder charges - what did that really matter, he'd been charged with murder before and gotten off every time.

Sadara found herself mainly hunting cliffracers for awhile, remembering Jiub saying now and then in a skooma-induced haze that he had a dream to eradicate them. Not that she would herself, but it was a profitable venture, even if it did result in a few new scars. Between Balmora and Ald'ruhn she'd trek, selling the plumes and anything else she might have found on the way there.

Not a glamorous living, but she'd see Jiub every now and then in Ald'ruhn and a friend she saw now and then was better than nothing. He was pursuing a similar course of action on a different track, though when she mentioned she'd like to have an actual job and not just live by freelancing, he promised to keep an ear out for something.

In this cycle did she live for several months before finding that, on a new visit to Ald'ruhn, Jiub wasn't where he'd usually be.

A letter waited for her instead.

Sadara,

Remember how you said you wanted a steady job that didn't involve freelancing? I've got something that might suit you. They just opened up a Waffle House in the Red Mountain region. Shithole neighborhood, but it's steady work and they'll take basically anyone, even if you've got priors. Lucky for me, huh?

Anyway, I told the manager I had someone in mind and they're willing to hold a job for you. Just show up, try not to be too drunk, and the job's yours. (I'll be honest, I'm looking for someone to split the rent on my new place with too, and it's not a good idea to live alone here anyway.)

P.S. I included some gold, buy me a pack of Balmora Lights before you head up here.

-----------------------------

There weren't that many houses and such on the outside of the Ghostfence...as if civilization just stopped at its border. The silt strider stop was covered in graffiti, and someone was asleep underneath the bench at the foot of the stairs.

"Has the tower fallen?" a male voice called out. He lifted his head. "The red tower! It burns!"

Oh, so not asleep just yet.

"Tower's fine, man, go back to sleep."

That seemed to satisfy the mer, and he went quiet again. Sadara headed on to the Ghostgate entrance itself, and after being warned about the blight winds for what had to be the millionth time so far since she arrived in Morrowind, she pulled her turtleneck up, tilted her hat down, and tried to keep her eyes on the directions on her phone screen.

It really is just like home.

Now she was on the road to it, though, she was at leisure to think about why the Empire would put a Waffle House in the Red Mountain region anyway. Sure there were other restaurants, but mainly hole-in-the-wall type places catering to the ebony miners and buoyant armigers. Local places. A Waffle House was an Imperial thing, and it seemed like this was the LAST place they'd want to have one. This wasn't exactly Hlaalu territory.

It was a Hlaalu kind of move, though, to put Imperial stuff where it wasn't--

The building appeared in her sight when she rounded a corner. The blight winds didn't ease up a bit, but it was hard to miss the glaring yellow of the sign overhead -

WAFFLE HOUSE

A lighthouse in the red fog of this absolute wasteland.

Sadara struggled forward, thinking only of getting out of the dusty wind, and--

--nearly fell on her ass.

Groaning, she looked down, noting a brief glitter among the red grit at her feet. She reached down and picked up...a ring? Pretty polished silver with a moon, a burned bronze star, and a small diamond (or a fake, it was hard to tell) set in the middle. It looked valuable and she couldn't figure why it would be out here. Maybe someone was stealing it and just happened to drop it here while on the rung?

It slipped so nicely onto the ring finger of her right hand, too.

She decided to consider it a gift from above, and headed on into the Waffle House before she wasted any more time out in the storm.

----------------------------------------------------------

Jiub was right. The manager, a thin elderly Dunmer woman, seemed fairly reasonable about her application.

"My name's Nibani Maesa, I'm the manager here. You didn't show up drunk or blasted out of your mind, that's already a point in your favor. Have you waited tables before?"

"Yeah, a few times. Once for a place in Bravil and then a couple different places in Leyawiin."

"Have you got priors?"

"A few bar fights." Sadara paused when the woman gave her a look. "Being drunk in public...possession."

"Can you handle yourself if you're attacked?"

"I lived on the Waterfront in the Imperial City for two years, I can handle anything with my fists."

That seemed to satisfy her and after a few questions more the woman gave a nod. "You've got the job. Whatever Jiub told you, though, we've got rules. Don't fuck in the freezer, don't sleep in the storage, and if you absolutely HAVE to smoke skooma, do it in the bathroom like a civilized mer. We clear?"

"Yeah, but...people fuck in the freezer?" Sadara's hands came up as she laughed.

"Don't ask. So long as..." Nibani's exasperated tone faded off rather suddenly, and her gaze was directed at Sadara's right hand. "That ring, where did you get it?"

"Huh? Oh, is it yours?" She held her right hand out. "I found it outside...looks nice, doesn't it?"

She started to take it off, but was surprised when Nibani stopped her.

"No, no, it's not mine, but you might want to be careful showing it off around here, especially if the buoyant armigers drop by."

The woman muttered something else under her breath, something Sadara was certain she wasn't intended to hear.

"Azura preserve me..."

"What about the corprus monsters everyone keeps saying are all over the place?"

"Oh no, the corprus monsters are easy by comparison. Lesson one - put something on the jukebox that's catchy with an easy repeating beat, and they'll forget what they were mad about."

"What about, uh...the smarter ones? I've heard there are..."

"Be polite and they're fine. And try to ignore the religious proselytizing they're doing, no matter how nice the pamphlets are or how much you might like the painting on the covers. Seems every year they get an artist to add another set of abs to the picture of their god on the front."

"They WHAT."

"Rule number two," Nibani lit up a cigarette, "Don't ask anyone that follows him about the devil of Dagoth. They'll keep you at their table half the night and do nothing but say how glorious you could be in his service and how we're all meant to serve a higher power. Some nonsense about dreams, that sort of thing. You understand."

"Suppose I accidentally get roped into the conversation?"

"Be polite...but noncommittal. And don't get your hands too close to their mouths - the ones that still have a mouth, anyway. They'll bite you and you'll catch corprus. We've got gloves for when we need to serve people that've got it."

"Why not just stop them coming in?"

"Because their gold spends just as well as anyone else's...and if they bring in one of their amulets, we take those too. They're symbols of that devil but they're valuable enough to pay your rent for a few months."

"So..." Sadara paused, a a little awkwardly. "When do I start?"

"Tomorrow," Nibani replied, "You're rooming with Jiub, right? How do you feel about the night shift? Would be safer for you to go back and forth in this neck of the woods if you've got someone to go with."

"Night shift's fine...and thanks. For thinking about my safety."

[trickstarbrave]

i havent proofread this but

here is the first part to 'hortator of the sharmat'

i might go back and fix a lot of stuff but im excited so far bc i love this little messed up idea

--

The Sixth House broke out of Vvardenfell first, and then escaped out from the mainland, slowly but surely infecting the greater empire. The Tribunal’s power was waning, and the empire had no idea what to do about the strange plague ravaging the lands.

Most of the Sixth House preferred to move in shadows or hiding in plain sight. They had squirmed their way into the heart of the empire and beyond, but they didn’t move without a purpose.

Many, when they didn’t live in old ruins or in the wilds, instead opened up orphanages far and wide. There was always an unfortunate abundance of orphans in the Empire, except in Morrowind where the temple’s charity took care of anyone displaced or abandoned. Churches in Cyrodiil were always flooded with too many mouths to feed, so it was no wonder they readily accepted help from outsiders wearing the robes of the Nine Divines. In fact, many were former priests or nuns who, when exposed to ash statues, suddenly took up an interest in opening their own orphanages with the help of some ‘kind and generous souls’.

Neht was one of the orphans the Sixth House picked up. At first it wasn’t all bad; he was no longer hungry all the time and no longer being kicked around on the street by people who looked at scruffy children like they did diseased rats. He thought that, surely, they must be good people from how kindly they treated the children, despite the strange iconography beneath the surface that didn’t belong to any divines or the way they constantly muttered to themselves and sleepwalked.

And then he became a young adult, and he saw what really happened.

Typically a young Dunmer of his age just started with physical labor. Usually the orphanage would send older kids out to work in fields for a couple of hours a day to help out and even bring back some coin. Neht thought that was why they sent him and a few other kids away by wagon. Only this wasn’t a short excursion; what he thought was only going to be a few hours at most quickly ended well past nightfall. The other kids were confused, talking among themselves.

There was one thing they all had in common, they realized: all of them had been born under the thief sign. 

Finally, they were all ushered inside an old ruin, greeted inside by the black and blood red iconography they’d see at the orphanage. Only this time it was everywhere, blood red candles lighting their way.

The Bosmer, two years older than Neht, muttered to his friend wondering if they were daedra worshippers. 

From there they were divided up and told why they were there. There were no Nine Divines, at least, not in that they were worthy of worship. Even the living gods of the Tribunal were false gods. No, there was one real god: the god of Morrowind, the Dreamer, Dagoth Ur, and the Good Daedra of Morrowind ruthlessly dethroned. All betrayed and abandoned by their people. All in service of a higher cause.

None of them knew what to think. Neht remembered several didn’t take it seriously. Others planned to escape, not underestimating how difficult it would be. 

They were told they met certain conditions to be Dagoth Ur’s champion, Saint Nerevar Moon-and-Star reborn. Lord Dagoth’s greatest strength, and his destined consort. And through various trials, the Nerevarine would be revealed and brought to him to finally cleanse Morrowind and begin his expansion in earnest.

And the first trial was one of the worst: the trial of flesh. To become free from aging and blight. The true start of their trials and cut them off from the rest of the world. 

The blight, corprus, the strange new plague that was a huge thorn in the empire’s side. Whatever you called it, the divine disease was the same: many infected became not too dissimilar to zombies, though magic targeting the undead didn’t work on them. They never decayed past a certain point either, and showed no mindless desire to infect others. Instead they seemed to just… Walk. They wandered and moved into the wilderness, wherein they seemed to disappear. Some infected others, but the empire seemed relieved they weren’t overrunning cities at least.

One by one they were all infected with it. None of them could escape, though many tried. If any did so, they were dragged back alive, forced to endure it. 

Most of them became the common corprus beast, lumbering around aimlessly, looking decayed. Others lost the color of their skin entirely and became a different kind of mindless creature, looking waxen as a corpse. A few of the unlucky ones had their skulls cave in and growths form out of it, though they were taken away more quickly.

The rest of them waited through pained fevers, nightmares, and pure agony. To Neht it felt like he endured the pain of dying over and over again, only finding relief from physical pain when he closed his eyes. Most of the time he dreamed though it was nightmares: dreams he was being ripped to pieces. Dreams that he was being poisoned. Dreams that he had been betrayed.

A few more of them succumbed to the strange transformations, but weeks after that…

Their fevers instead began breaking. The aches and pains subsided. The nightmares became less and less common. They no longer looked visibly ill. And as they would soon learn: they no longer aged. Luckily they were all physically mature, but there was something somber about how they would remain like this either forever, or until they mentally deteriorated into becoming the ash creatures they saw before.

The other trials were tests of skill. They were trained with various weapons and even magic, before their tutors found their strengths and honed in on them. Neht’s life became getting up, eating, and working his body doing more grueling training than even the arena apprentices were given, and then finally passing out.

Then they were tasked with surviving Ayleid traps. Then killing monsters. Then killing hostages like stray blades agents that learned too much or people who went lurking in homes to find treasure. Then killing each other to narrow it down further.

Neht didn’t even know why he was fighting except to just not die. He was overworked, stressed, and numb. Perhaps death would have been a blessing, but he couldn’t bring himself to overcome his base instinct to survive.

The other ‘potential incarnates’ as they were called, took different perspects. Many became, as you’d expect, enraged and planned to kill their way out of there one day or succumbed to despair. However what was more surprising was that the majority didn’t fall into one of those categories, but instead a different kind: those that wanted so desperately to be Nerevar Reborn. Those that started saying they knew they were his incarnation and often fought with each other about who was truly Nerevar. They became ruthless, killing each other in jealousy and to prove they were the ones who were ‘truly’ Nerevar. 

But without fail, there was one thing that they all stumbled over: the trial of the moon and star. The moon and star ring was a relic of the good daedra—the definitive proof of Nerevar’s identity. The dwarven brass ring was enchanted to kill all those except for Nerevar and Nerevar alone.

After a certain point of accessing their skills, the higher ups of the Sixth house would have a ceremony under the watchful eyes of the statue of Azura, and were told to put it on.

And one after the other, they all died. Blood leaked from their eyes, their noses, their mouths, before they even burst into flames choking on their own blood.

Some were still cocky thinking they were the real Nerevarine. Others would scream and try to fight away from the leaders to avoid wearing the ring. But Neht knew both camps were foolish. Begging and pleading or trying to escape wouldn’t stop them and none of them were Nerevar reborn. But it seemed delusion and fear clouded their senses. 

If there was a way out, Neht would have found it by now. But instead it seemed it was ‘his’ turn; his time was up so some god in a volcano could foolishly search for his ‘destined’ bride or groom, no matter how many had to die. Maybe the blood and fire would be better than succumbing to the madness late and becoming an ash ghoul after all like the Altmer around his age did two years ago.

They woke him at dawn, taking him to bathe. Only this time the maids scrubbed him town; something they usually only got on the 25th of evening star, Nerevar’s birthday and this their new collective birthday whether it was the same or not. It was to cleanse them for prayer, their bodies being washed with a specialty ash soap imported from Vvardenfell. The scent always made Neht a little nostalgic; it was perfumed with a blend he’d never smelled anywhere else before, but it overwhelmed him every time. When he closed his eyes he felt like he was somewhere far away, familiar and alien all at once. Perhaps that was the intended use of the soap—to make his mind go hazy, almost covered in a fog as the stress melted off his muscles.

Then he was dressed in black and red robes. They were soft and luxurious, though only two thin layers. They were costly and most of them died, after all.

From there they styled his hair, brushing it back into a large braid. The older woman covered in scars braiding his hair back always muttered to herself as though in a trance, but this time Neht could understand a few of her words.

“… Perhaps we got it right… Perhaps this time I can style St Nerevar’s hair properly rather than cut the braid of a false incarnate…”

All of their braids were kept, bound tightly, revered by the sixth house. Even though they were false incarnates, they were ‘blessed’ supposedly by Dagoth Ur and Azura and would be at peace in Moonshadow for all eternity.

Neht sighed, a red tie being used to secure the braid, before he was moved to the final room.

He hesitated slightly, before he continued walking, numb now as he knew he marched to his death. Panic would only make it worse, he imagined, and wouldn’t save him regardless. 

The highest member of the cult smiled at him, her grin almost unnerving. She was a middle aged woman who always put him on edge; one moment she was smiling brightly at them, but the moment one of them died her eyes became cold and uncaring, her expression only one of mild disgust and disappointment. The only reason she regarded any of them positively was because they might be the Nerevarine. Likely none of them were, but there was a possibility. 

“Come forth, incarnate. It is time for your next trial.” Her voice echoed across the room. Others couldn’t see, but they could all hear in these ruins when voices echoed so freely. 

Neht stepped forward as the woman beckoned for his hand. He hesitated once more, before sighing and handing it to her.

He breathed in the perfume still clinging to his skin, trying to seek one last reprieve of comfort before his senses were swallowed up by blood and fire. Metal touched his skin as the ring slipped on, and Neht shut his eyes tightly, waiting for the agony.

Seconds slipped by, unable to breathe as he braced himself for pain, but… It hadn’t come. He wondered how long he’d have to wait, before he heard whispers and he looked down at his hand. No bruising was visible like on the other false incarnates. He reached up, touching his face, not feeling any blood.

Panic finally ran through him as the realization crashed over him, now wishing more than anything that he’d been killed.

“Ah,” the head priest looked at him with pure glee in her eyes, “I’ve finally done it… I found the Nerevarine.”

“I—“ Neht’s breathing was quick now. “What if this is a fake ring?” Something else inside him however, denied it the moment it left his mouth. No, the ring felt too familiar on his hand. It felt too right, like he’d worn it for centuries.

“It is no fake,” She laughed a bit too loudly. “I check it personally for the enchantment the moment before I put it on an incarnate…” Her eyes were still staring at him half crazed. “It’s really you, St Nerevar.”

“I-I’m…” His voice trembled as he backed away, before the head priest clapped her hands.

“Prepare Saint Nerevar properly.” She ordered, as maids and guards surrounded him. “He must be groomed and dressed appropriately. Then we prepare to travel to Vvardenfell him to Lord Dagoth.”

It couldn’t be true.

He couldn’t be Nerevar.

Neht punched the nearest guard, before the others quickly subdued him with magic. All the while the maids cooed over him, stroking his hair and singing hymns, delighted it was ‘Nerevar in the flesh’.

Neht didn’t know what happened to the rest of the incarnates. He never saw them after that. 

[elderscrollsconceptart]

how many tes games have you played, what was your first build/character in each, and why did you pick those skills/traits/etc?

Hi and thank you!

I've played admittedly not a lot of Arena. Its hard to get into due to its age 🧙‍♂️ Love Jeff Perrymans work on the game though!

I've played a good amount of Daggerfall! I played a bit of it ~13(?) years ago but it was the original version so like Arena it was super hard to both play and get into it. I was actually doing a classic "sword and board" play through via Daggerfall Unity just last year and was having fun until my saves got corrupted somehow 🥲

I actually touched Redguard for the first time this year but I'm holding off until I finish my current Morrowind playthrough 🏴‍☠️

Battlespire I've actually never touched despite owning it. Its weird because I've POURED over that games wiki and its actually my favorite old school TES game based purely on aesthetics and its designs. A full play through is on my to do list for this year!

All the old TES mobile games, shadowkey, Oblivion Mobile, etc. I have limited experience with. I've seen them IRL on friends phones back in the day but never got hands on since I actually didn't have a phone until later in Highschool. I think the internet archive has at least a few of them playable? I'd have to check, maybe it's worth checking out!

Morrowind...ahh morrowind :) its my fav TES game in terms of quests. My first play through was not a full one, it was at a friends house on the XBOX version way way back in the day. For my first REAL play through it was on my first gaming PC and I played an athletics focused halberd wielding orc who bonked people on the head 😂

Oblivion..This one PAINS me..I've only actually played though it entirely a single time and it was ages ago on the Xbox 360 and I played a...stealth archer 😵‍💫..It wasn't a meme at the time I swear! I just liked sneaking and archery! When I got it on PC, every time I tried setting it up with or without mods I had technical issues. I've mentioned it before but I absolutely loathe the bad draw distance and pop in that plagues even "ultra" settings on PC. OpenMorrowind on PC is a technical marvel. I wish they'd do something similar for Oblivion or port a stable version of Oblivion to PC. I really want to do a full playthrough again!

Skyrim. Fun fact I calculated it one time and I'm certain I collectively have 3,000+ hours in Skyrim over the past 13 years. Possibly close to 4,000 but thats from my Xbox 360 playthoughs and I don't remember the exact times for that. The base game is long worn out for me but god damn is Skyrim's modding community incredible. Thanks to mods, the game has remained fresh in various ways for the past 13 years and at this rate I'll probably add another 1k hours before TES 6 comes out 😁

ESO. I'm gonna be 100% upfront here. I got the game when it came out and had lots of issues with it. The game had a rocky start and I wasn't ever a big fan of MMOs to begin with. That said! Zenimax has done amazing things over the past 10 years and really kept that game alive with continuous improvement. I haven't kept up with it the past few years ago outside of the lore (and art) stuff but I think after I give the older TES games another go, I'll probably hop back in to ESO.

Legends. I've never played it! TBH don't like card games, Hearthestone, Gwent, etc. Legends doesn't have much going for it besides the art BUT BUT BUT...Legends art is fucking incredible 😍😍😍 Seriously, after Perhaps Skyrim's concept art, the various artists of Legends are my 2nd fav to look at. I can ignore the actual gameplay but I really wish we knew more about who actually has created all the Legends art. We only have hints such as studio names for vast portions of the art, or straight up ZERO sources for who made a lot of the core decks and original release era art. I keep my head on a swivel for that stuff because its so amazing and beautiful!

Lastly, TES Blades. I'm not a huge fan of the game since I don't like touchscreen controls (eg. I play Morrowind on my phone but with a controller). I've played a fair amount but never beat it since the controls are bleh and gameplay doesn't appeal to me a ton. Most of the stuff that interests me about blades is the armor designs and the fact it gives us a super small glimpse into the period between The Great War and Skyrim.

Sorry this went a Lil long but thanks for your ask!

[wra1thguards]

Hello Mia, just wanna tell you I love Galis very much <3 and I love dad Galis, too. Is that mean Fehn is a demigod? Or she is adopted? Do they hang out a lot on Nirn? Or on the Isles?

hi!!! i’m so happy that you like galis, and thank you so much for the question! i love talking about my characters lol. i’m going to try to explain this to the best of my ability, but my personal canon and timeline is VERY messy so you might have to bear with me a bit. 😅

this also turned into a bit of a long explanation, so i put it under a cut. i apologize in advance haha

fehn appeared to and was adopted by galis and martin sometime near the end of the third era. since this is the case, galis and fehn’s canon is contingent upon some sort of martin lives au (but not for long lmao) OR an au where the oblivion crisis lasted for at least a couple decades, so fehn has time to grow up. i’m imagining that fehn was no older than a toddler when martin approached galis with her like “hey akatosh is giving us this baby” and galis was like “um………?”

anyway fehn grows up, they do a great job being dads all things considered. (though not without its flaws, fehn and galis generally had an excellent relationship. he taught her how to fight and how to survive out in the world) and when fehn’s around 25, martin mantles akatosh and (as is his fate) dies.

galis is devastated by this loss and cannot cope with it, and he begins spiraling hard. while losing martin is the catalyst to his descent into madness, the fear of losing fehn (who they believe to be dragonborn) to a similar fate is another thing that keeps him spiraling downwards.

naturally, he more or less falls into the influence of sheogorath. both out of fear of losing fehn, and, like, his rampant desire for control over the narrative, he freezes fehn in time by putting her in this magic amber in a tomb in morrowind somewhere. this keeps fehn in state where she doesn’t age and just sleeps until galis or someone breaks her free of it.

galis kills the elder council and takes other strides to violently destabilize the empire (what’s the point of any of this without martin, after all), then shivering isles events take place. galis mantles sheogorath and comes up with a plan to drag akatosh back to nirn and kill him and/or rip martin free of him. whatever that means. he believes that fehn is the key to this, and that he can use her to get akatosh to manifest back on nirn, but he needs to wait for the opportune time for it.

4e201 comes around and the dragon crisis begins. sheo!galis finds out about the ldb prophecy and finds this to be perfect time to unleash fehn upon the world to be the one to fulfill that prophecy. there’s that idea of soul-stacking in tes, right? if fehn absorbs enough dragon souls, she grows closer to akatosh, she can find a way to summon him, galis kills him and gets what he wants. after he kills akatosh, he wants to put fehn and martin in a fake universe that he has absolute control of where nothing bad ever happens ever but that’s neither here nor there.

the whole fehn being trapped in magic amber for 200 years thing feels kind of silly when i state it, but i also think it’s interesting how this lets her mirror serana and also, in a way, miraak. i also don’t think she’s _actually_ the one the prophecy spoke of (it was miraak’s “fate” to kill alduin in my canon but he fumbled so fucking badly), but by galis’s design and her being dragonborn, she was able to complete it.

i’m so sorry this got so long. thank you so much for being interested (and reading this!) and i hope you have a wonderful day!