#or going to school with people whose parents were only 13-17 years older than them

[romericas]

having thoughts about Arthur, Francis, and Antonio being relatively young teenagers when they start colonizing the world, like Antonio only being around 15 or so physically, Francis somewhere around the same, and Arthur only being like 13. this is not a "feel bad for the colonizers because they were babies UwU" this is a "being an adolescent and believing wholeheartedly that you are correct in your perceptions of the world and those around you and being encouraged by the adults in your government, but still not being mentally old enough to understand the full weight of your actions and then later refusing to acknowledge the full realities of the atrocities you committed at such a young age and the tragedy of that because it's hard"

I'm talking about thirteen-year-old Arthur deciding he's mature enough to take care of a literal child and is startled by how much he's forced to physically and emotionally grow up in the process of trying to raise Alfred only to watch him later follow in Arthur's imperialist footsteps. I'm talking about Francis being a shitty and distant parental figure to Matthew because he was too immature for the responsibility, shedding it at the first opportunity and still not understanding the full extent of the harm he's caused as an adult. Antonio taking on more and more kids because he likes having people who look up to him and don't call him on his shitty actions, who are little enough that he can just ignore them if/when they do and say things that he doesn't like, pretending that he's being a perfect parent to feed his ego and letting the fact that parenting is difficult excuse his shitty actions so he doesn't have to think about them too hard

like also imagine how it changes the dynamic during the revolutionary war if Arthur is barely 18, still a teenager in most regards himself, fighting against a physically 13 year old Alfred and the amount of cognitive dissonance happening for him to say that Alfred isn't old enough to be independent, when he himself was trying to raise a child at the same developmental age

just them being young and thinking that they're doing terrible things because it's all for the right reasons and not knowing how to confront that as adult, especially when faced with their adult children who reflect all their actions back at them

[xuyaa]

Age gaps

Ahh... I dread this but I'll speak anyway. I keep seeing people have a problem with big age gap couple in fandom. Now before your nostrils all fluff up let me say this, if you can't have an open mind or too fragile for my input please take your leave. This would be wasted on you.

About age gap on fandoms couple (canon or crack) I personally have no problem as long as both parties consent (without child grooming or forced relationship aspect) and considered legal at the start of their relationship and the legality here is not referring to our modern standard but on the couple's world and time. I'll try to explain but it might get long and boring but if you're still okay, continue.

I'll give an example, during the age of samurai if the situation permits like Uesugi Kenshin they can join battle at age 13 and there are still other examples of other famous child samurai. We call it child now because time change but during that time they were considered an adult once they enter battlefield. Why? They already trained years prior to kill and to protect their lord. Example of this in anime would be Himura Kenshin from Rurouni Kenshin. His first marriage was when he's around 16 and that was an acceptable age at that era since he was considered adult at age 14. So even though I find it icky if modern day teenager marry at that age, I can understand Kenshin's situation. If I'm still okay reading about him killing people around at even younger age I'm not gonna complain about him wanting to marry (although it's not that simple white and black for him).

You get what I'm trying to say?

More example of the acceptable norms in past era. During certain era in certain place like for example Victorian England and prior, 14 year old boys and 12 year old girls are passable for marriage depends on whether the family want it or not as it's more political than anything else. Same in China for example during the Manchurian Dynasty 14 year old girl is considered adult enough for marriage. And usually the age of the husband is always older by few years up to few decades (officials and emperor). But of course over time all of the above would change. Not by much maybe? Depend on the country I say.

Still we can't just hold the old days custom and norms on our modern day standard that would be akin to the present you calling your two or three year-old self a moron for defecating and not wiping your own ass. Or like when you do something stupid at your young age (pick whatever stupid situation that you have take as a lesson. Done?). You just didn't know better back then but now you do and from your failure you learn, although it would be better if you learn from other's lesson but I say pain is an effective lesson for oneself. Would you rather have that memories of your lesson be removed or ignored? I wouldn't. I don't know if I might do the stupid thing again just to find out whether I can or not. Same as this this whole age gap, young age marriage in the past and present in some customs thing. Don't erase the fact, don't gloss it over because people have and can still learn from them. My grandma married at young age and I came to be as the result of her choice.

Have you ever seen high schooler called Robert D Jr handsome? I've seen it recently on youtube. They call him very handsome and another video talked about cool and handsome senior male models. I've scrolled through the comments and no one seems offended that these high school girls simping for male old enough to be their granddad. These girls called them daddy and commenting how hot they are and the comments either agree or saying the girls reactions are cute. Huh... reverse the situation if these old models commenting female korean idol for example and calling them cute or hot what would people think? "creepy" "pedobear" even though senior female might think the same lines, heck maybe even we think the same lines. See the double standard people use? Maybe not everyone, but the loud ones are there. They're so loud I don't even know if they're majority or minority. I have celebrity crush too when I was young and as it happen, he's my father's age and to be frank, I would not mind an older partner if said partner is compatible and emotionaly mature. My sister is 17 years younger than her husband and they turn out well because her husband is matured enough to understand her ups and downs emotion back when they're dating, even before. Are all men mature emotionally as they became older then? No, just as not all oranges is sweet. My sister is 10 years my senior but she's more bratty than I am sometimes. Is it wrong of my bro in law to be with my sis?

Oh you're just trying to defend pedophilia anywayヽ(`Д´)ﾉ.

No stupid, I'm trying to make you think. I don't accept pedophilia, shotacon or lolicon. My sis is old enough to be called spinster when they go out. Anyway, when you follow a certain series, try to see it from their era and custom's perspective. Some era is okay with 16 year old marrying. Some tribes in Asia allow marriage between cousins while others and the majority of the world frown upon them. That's just how they see and do things. For me as long as both side consent without pressure and not in the case of 'parents sending their child for marriage without their input' thing I'm okay to leave that alone, I'm pretty much sure we're on the same page there. I hope.

So, just as when you come to another country, you adhere to their rules and norms or you have no right to complain if they deport you out for not learning beforehand and breaking their rules. Or when you have a guest come to your home and they suddenly start demanding you to do stuff their way, you should kick them out if not slapping their face. Or if you want to be kind, explain how you do things in your home and hoping they would understand and respect it.

I'm jumping around but see what I'm trying to say? I'll get to another anime example.

In Naruto for instance, they became genin at 12 and killing people left and right. People are okay with that right? Yeah well, since it was soo popular I suppose... besides it's pretty glossed over in both manga and anime. But the same people that's okay with children killing left and right, would they be okay if suddenly the mangaka put in story about one of the chara going on seduction mission? If it's carried out well as in the chara being bamf, maybe no problem. But if things went south for the chara? I'm sure there will be outrage, especially if that's a female chara or worse if it's one of the main like Sakura. See? People hold the characters, the series and the mangaka to their own convenient double standards. Back to the age gap when shipping, I pick Naruto as example because apparently Sakura was just so shippable that people actually ship her with Kakashi and even Madara and she makes easy example. Don't ask me why she's shipped with Madara and I don't ship any of the two with Sakura. Anyway, if Sakura is mature enough to choose to kill as a teenager (and don't give me crap about Sakura never killing on screen. Their line of work involves lots of death and she's been through war) she's mature enough to decide her romantic partner even if it's suddenly Orochimaru(ㆆ_ㆆ) (did they even exist?). You can say her taste is terrible because he's an asshole but don't say it's gross cause the age difference because apparently Orochimaru can just rejuvenated to new body and be as good as a babe (I wish I could too). Anyway saying it's about age on these kind of chara is just straight up lie on people's part. Another example I can think of atm is snk. I've seen people against pairing the 104th with the veterans because of age gap. Now I'm not trying to be rude, but hear me if you please. The whole 104th are trained child soldiers and they're killing titans and even humans. You're all okay with that? If you still follow the series far enough and liking it maybe you enjoy seeing the action sequence, drama and intrigue? The fact that you still come back to the series after this long proves that you're still okay with all the gores and blood spilled with all the glorious child soldier most of all. They become soldier because of circumstances you say? I'm glad you think so too! Although I must point out, the 104th did CHOOSE to be soldiers (just as Naruto and co choose to be ninja). They could be farmers or thugs for all we know. All the soldiers in snk choose their occupation, thay all trained and decide to join the Survey Corps, in fact the only one that join reluctantly in the first place is the former thug although he continues in the end. That aside, their circumstances certainly are different than us don't they? They don't even know a car and blip exist before Marley... They must have a whole lot of different mindset and norms than ours too for a civilization whose life are about survival against titans that's 100 years behind than other civilization in their world. Ever think of that?

Seeing modern day teenage in romantic lights are indeed hard as I'm sure the majority can't even survive without their gadget and parents' money. I certainly can't at that age. Immature. Even those in their twenties and thirties are immature these days. But now when one of those child soldier who have a whole lot of different mindset and maturity level is being shipped with older chara, you're against it. Okay. Maybe it's indeed easier for you to see 15 year olds regardless of their profession to commit act of violence and even kill than to love... (does that sounds okay to you?)

...I'm not saying killing mindlessly is alright because it is NOT. But that would need a whole lot different threads and time to spare and maybe someone else can do it or already done it before me.

But here's the good thing, even when the ship starts when they grow and at the modern legal age of 18 and 19, or even far above like centuries, it's still not okay for some people to ship them. I don't mind if it's your preference and you don't go disturbing other's corner when they don't even enforce their ship as words of god and even acknowledging that 'yes, maybe it's not canon and just our bits of fun' but sometimes it got to the point of belittling those who do ship age gap couple and treat them like a criminal in need of help or wishing them death. Seriously? Yes. People are that immature.

If you don't like a ship because you think your own is better, fine. Do your thing in your corner but don't go to other people's corner just to talk shit without even knowing why they ship what they ship. Most of this ship is just in our head in the end, and even if your ship is canon it does not make you any greater in real life.

I can't think of anything else to say now, but thanks for reading with open mind. ◝(⑅•ᴗ•⑅)◜..°♡

Now before anyone waste their time typing out comments, I refer to my first paragraph. Here's some imaginary flower for you all🌷

Apparently I'm not clear enough so I fix my wording. I'm here not defending minor and old people relationship but age gap couple who happen to be aged up to acceptable age despite their profession. Here's some choco🍫

[iwanthermidnightz]

When she was 18, Taylor Swift wrote a song called “Fifteen.” “Back then I swore I was going to marry him someday, but I realized some bigger dreams of mine,” she sang, sounding more like a wizened great-grandmother than a rising senior.

“Fifteen” is evocative, if a little sanitized: Nimble mandolin strums mimic the nervous-excited butterflies of the first day of high school, as Swift sings of wide-eyed hope that “one of those senior boys will wink at you and say, ‘You know I haven’t seen you around before.’”

There was a certain emotional truth to the lyrics — do several years’ age difference ever seem more consequential than when you’re a teenager? — but some older listeners were skeptical. “You applaud her skill,” wrote a critic for the Guardian in a mixed review of Swift’s second album, “Fearless,” “while feeling slightly unsettled by the thought of a teenager pontificating away like Yoda.”

Swift, now 31, sings, “When you are young they assume you know nothing,” on “Folklore,” an LP that is both compositionally mature and braided throughout with references to the specific, oft-denigrated wisdom of teenagers. By the end of that song, “Cardigan,” the narrator has excavated such a heap of florid but emotionally lucid memories that she must conclude, with the force of a sudden revelation, “I knew everything when I was young.”

Though it’s not as flashy a topic as exes, fame or A-list celebrity feuds, age has long been a recurring theme in Swift’s work. A numerology enthusiast with a particular attachment to 13, Swift has also released a handful of songs whose titles refer to specific ages: “Seven,” “Fifteen,” and, of course, “22,” the chatty “Red” hit on which she summed up that particular junction of emerging adulthood as feeling “happy, free, confused and lonely at the same time.” Like her contemporary Adele, Swift seems to enjoy time-stamping her music, sometimes presenting it like a public-facing scrapbook that will always remind her what it felt like to be a certain age — even if, with their millions of fans and armfuls of Grammys, neither of these women is exactly typical.

Swift’s critics have often seemed even more hyper attuned to her age. Perhaps because precocity played such a role in her story from the beginning — at 14, she became the youngest artist to sign a publishing deal with Sony/ATV; at 20, she became the youngest to win the album of the year Grammy — many listeners have been fascinated with how her evolution into adulthood has, or hasn’t, played out in her songs. People comb Swift’s lyrics for allusions to sex, alcohol and profanity as meticulously as MPAA representatives do a borderline-PG movie. Particular attention was paid to her 2017 album “Reputation” and its several mentions of drunkenness and dive bars — even though Swift was 27 when it came out.

The relative puritanism of Swift’s music up until “Reputation” did feel like an intentional decision: Unlike the female pop stars who broadcast their “loss of innocence” as a sudden and irrevocable transformation, Swift seemed acutely conscious that she did not want to repel younger listeners — or lose the approval of their parents. At best, it felt like an acceptance of her status as a role model; at worst, it had the whiff of a marketing strategy.

But the mounting obsession with whether Swift was “acting her age” also reflected a larger societal double standard. Famous or not, women face much more intense scrutiny around age, whether it’s those constant cultural reminders of the biological clock’s supposed ticking or the imperative that women of all ages stay “fresh-faced” or risk their own obsolescence. (“People say I’m controversial,” Madonna said in 2016. “But I think the most controversial thing I have ever done is to stick around.”) And while girlish youth and ingenuity are rewarded in some contexts, they’re also easily dismissed as silly and frivolous as soon as that girl strays too close to the sun — as Swift has experienced time and again.

Despite having once been a teenage girl myself (unlike a lot of music critics), I confess that I am not completely free of these internalized biases. I was initially dismissive of “Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince,” a song that appeared on Swift’s 2019 album “Lover.” The first few times I heard it, I wondered what a grown woman on the cusp of 30 was doing still writing about homecoming queens and teenage gossip.

But over time, I’ve come to appreciate the song and its dark vision, which acknowledges cruelty, depression and the threat of sexual violence (“Boys will be boys then, where are the wise men?”) more directly than any of the songs Swift wrote when she was an actual teenager. The senior boys in this song are not the sort who wink and say to freshman girls wholesome things like, “Haven’t seen you around before” — which, unfortunately, makes them feel more authentic. Even the title “Miss Americana” alludes to a larger world outside the high school walls, and the greater systemic forces that keep such patterns repeating well into adulthood.

“Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince” now feels like a precursor to some of the richest songs on “Folklore,” which finds Swift returning once again to her school days with the keen, selectively observant eye of an adult. Consider “Seven,” an impressionistic recreation of her perspective at that age. The second verse, charmingly, plays like a first-grader’s breathless sequence of unguarded observations:

“And I’ve been meaning to tell you, I think your house is haunted, your dad is always mad and that must be why/And I think you should come live with me and we can be pirates, then you won’t have to cry.”

But “Seven” is not cutesy so much as poignant, because of the tensions that result when Swift’s adult perspective interjects. “Please, picture me in the trees, before I learned civility,” she sings in a yearning soprano, prompting the listener to wonder what sorts of feral pleasure she — and all of us — have exchanged for the supposed “civility” of adulthood.

Quite a few songs on “Evermore,” Swift’s second release of 2020, also toggle between past and present, conscious of what is lost and gained by the passage of time. The playful “Long Story Short” passes a note to Swift’s younger self (“Past me, I wanna tell you not to get lost in these petty things”), while “Dorothea,” like “Seven,” revisits a fevered childhood friendship from the cool perspective of adulthood.

Most striking is the bonus track “Right Where You Left Me,” a twangy tale of a “girl who got frozen” (“Time went on for everybody else, she won’t know it/She’s still 23, inside her fantasy”). That language echoes something Swift admits in the 2020 Netflix documentary “Miss Americana”: “There’s this thing people say about celebrities, that they’re frozen at the age they got famous. And that’s kind of what happened to me. I had a lot of growing up to do just trying to catch up to 29.”

But Swift’s recent songs, at their best, understand that “growing up” isn’t always a linear progression in the direction of something more valuable. Take the “Folklore” songs “Cardigan” and “Betty,” which use an interconnected set of characters to chronicle teenage drama and celebrate the heightened emotional knowledge of youth. “I’m only 17, I don’t know anything, but I know I miss you,” Swift sings in the voice of James, a high schooler who broke Betty’s heart and has shown up on her doorstep to ask forgiveness. Maybe that is a melodramatic thing to do; maybe it is the sort of thing adults could stand to do more often. Swift’s music helps us to remember that growing up doesn’t automatically mean growing wiser — it can just as easily mean compromise, self-denial and growing numb to emotions we once felt with bracing intensity.

In a gesture to regain control of her songs, Swift is currently rerecording her first six albums (her master recordings were recently sold by Scooter Braun’s Ithaca Holdings to the investment firm Shamrock Capital). Last month she released a note-for-note update of her early hit “Love Story,” and has promised to release an entire new-old version of “Fearless (Taylor’s Version)” later this year. It has been amusing to think of Swift going back and inhabiting the voice of her teenage self: On the face of it, “Fifteen” is particularly surreal to imagine her singing as an adult.

In another way, though, “Fifteen” — with its distant reflections on the youthful folly of expectations — makes more sense and carries more emotional weight being sung by a 30-something than it does an 18-year-old. Perhaps Swift was preparing for such an exercise when she made “Folklore,” an album that shakes off years of scrutiny and finds her reveling in the creative freedom to be as young or as old as she wants to be.

[fiveisnumber1]

Timeless - Five Hargreeves x Reader Side Story

I’m in the process of working on the next part of the main story of Timeless but I decided to write this short little side story so I hope y’all enjoy!

Main story parts:

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28

_________________________

The Tattoo - “A Family Reunion” Side Story

January 17th, 2014:

After a long day at school, Diego had come to pick you up. Holding the straps of your backpack you walked towards his car. Although the Umbrella Academy had pretty much faded out of the collective thoughts of the public, Diego still tried to keep a low profile for you. You never knew if there were any die-hard fans around so it was better to be safe than sorry. Getting into the passenger seat Diego happily ruffles your hair saying,

“Hey kiddo, you made it to Friday. Congrats on finishing your second school week.”

“Thanks.” You replied softly

It had been hard starting school again. You had been there for only ten days in total and it was completely different from what you knew. Public school was nothing like the private school your parents used to send you to. It was loud and rambunctious and there was never a quiet moment. It was good because you were never alone with your thoughts but the semi-structured environment wasn’t something you were equipped for. And on top of it, you were surrounded by kids your age but they weren’t your friends. You didn’t have friends anymore. As Diego drove away from the school you looked out the window watching the other kids pass by as they got on busses or into their family’s cars. Turning back to sit straight Diego asks,

“Anything interesting happen today?” 

“I pulled a knife on a kid at lunch.” You reply nonchalantly

“I’m not saying you were wrong. But why?” Diego asks

“He had a bow and arrow on him and startled me.” you responded

You hadn’t expected anyone to come up to you during lunch. You typically minded your own business and sat alone. Well, not completely alone. You sat at the same table as a girl from your music class. You knew she played the viola but other than that was quiet and reserved. You two never really talked but every once in a while you’d glance at each other. The kid that approached you though was more outgoing and made his presence known. He was in your gym class and always seen with a taller blond boy. You didn’t know why he had decided to come over to you but nevertheless, he did and even after you had pulled a knife on him he decided to sit down across from you and start talking. You didn’t really respond but you did listen to him. He kind of reminded you of Diego but maybe this would be just a one-off experience. 

Diego had thought about your response for just a quick second before responding,

“That’s reasonable. I’m proud of you for protecting yourself.”

“He didn’t seem like too much of a threat but okay.” you stated

Diego let out a small laugh. Of course, you wouldn’t see some 13-year old with a bow as a threat. Diego continued to drive as you told him about your classes and what you were studying. He listened happily as you discussed the experiments you were doing in Science class and how you were writing poetry in English. The two of you soon came to a stop as you arrived at the boxing club you were both a part of. On Friday’s you would come along with him before going back to the academy the next day. Entering the building you sat down on a nearby chair and started working on your homework as Diego trained with another member. Typically, he would work with you but because he had a match coming up soon he needed to focus on himself. 

Every once in a while though you would go up to the side of the ring and ask for help with a part of your homework. Sometimes you actually needed help but other times you just enjoyed the way your brother’s eyes lit up when you told him you needed him and the proud look on his face when you finally solved the problem. When you had finished your homework you would drag the chair to the side of the ring to watch your brother spar. Swinging your feet back and forth as you sat on the chair you tried to study the practice fight so you could improve your own fighting skills. During the fight though you would catch quick glimpses of Diego’s wrist and the Umbrella Academy tattoo that resided on it. You hated the sight. It was as if Reginald permanently branded him, connecting him to something he never decided to be a part of in the first place. It was a marking that would never go away just like the childhood he was robbed of as part of the Umbrella Academy.

The hours passed and soon it was time to close the club down for the day. Most other club members left and Diego grabbed the mop and bucket from the corner to start cleaning. Cleaning up the club was his livelihood. Al, the owner, was kind enough to let him turn the boiler room into a bedroom and give him a decent wage in exchange for training people during the day and cleaning up at night. You were always so proud of him. Your brother worked hard, harder than anyone else you knew. Even during his time in the Umbrella Academy he always pushed himself to do his best and then some. You admired it and wanted to work just as hard as he did. 

As he cleaned, you tried to help him though. Using your powers you did your best to liquefy the dried sweat and blood so it would be easier to clean. By the time he had finished, it was late and you had grown tired. Diego puts the mop and bucket away before coming over to you and saying,

“I think it’s time you get to sleep.” 

You nodded your head and let out a yawn standing up so you could head to the boiler room that Diego called home. Placing a hand on your back Diego guided you there. You rubbed your eyes before climbing into the bed. Diego tucked you in nicely before sitting on the edge of the bed and stroking your hair until you fell asleep. Once he knew you were completely asleep he carefully got up and went over to a chair across the room. He sat and watched you for a while to make sure you were okay but soon enough he drifted off too.

You started to toss and turn in your sleep. A chill creeping into your bones as images of snow rushed into your mind. The voices of your parents and friends surrounding you. Frantically you look around for them and see silhouettes. Familiar figures extending their hands as they call our your name, beckoning you to them. You rush towards the figures but the snow starts to pick up. The figures become obscured. You run around calling out their names but no one responds. From behind you, you hear the sound of snow crunching as if someone was running away. You turn around from the direction your family and friends were and follow the footsteps in the snow. Up ahead you see a figure that grows clearer the closer you get. 

“Five.”

You pushed yourself to run harder. To try and catch him. When you feel you’re close enough you extend your hand to grab his jacket but just as you do he vanishes. You trip and fall to the ground.

“No!” You called out as you sat up straight in bed.

Your body shook as tears started to prick your eyes. You looked around only to see the boiler room and Diego sitting on his chair off to the side. No snow, no figures, no Five. You took a few breaths before quietly getting up from the bed and heading over towards Diego. Carefully, you shake his arm quietly calling,

“Eggo. Eggoooo.”

Diego wakes up startled but soon calms down when he sees you there. He can see the tears building up in your eyes glisten from the light of the lamp. He always left the lamp on because he thought it would ease the nightmares but they still seemed to happen.

“Bad dream?” He questioned softly

You nodded your head in response. Diego opened his arms allowing you to sit in his lap before he held you close. You were so small and you didn’t deserve all this pain you were going through. He knew from his own experience of how difficult it was to be young and struggling with the pain of traumatic events. Tears slipped from your eyes as you dealt with the fallout of another nightmare. Diego slowly rocked you as he held you, the same way mom did for him when he was still small. When your vision cleared slightly you could see the image of the tattoo on Diego’s wrist. You reached out and using your pointer finger you began to trace the image over and over. Diego noticed what you were doing and questioned,

“Princess, why do you keep tracing that?”

You looked away from the tattoo and up at your older brother.

“If I trace it enough times maybe I can erase it away.” you explain quietly

“Unfortunately, that’s not how it works.” Diego responds

“But heat breaks down ink, if I can just vibrate the molecules enough I can make it go away. I know I can.” You elaborate 

“I’ve come to terms with it you don’t need to make it go away.” Diego softly replies

He hadn’t come to terms with it though. It was an awful reminder of the despicable man who he called his father. The same one whose roof you were now living under. Diego wished that he made more money, that he had a place where he could keep you safe from that man, but he didn’t. He knew you were fiercely independent and smart, but so was Five and their dad still did enough damage to make him run away through time. Five was the whole reason you were even in this mess. Diego wanted to seem strong for you though so he kept his feelings to himself on the matter. He might not have come to terms with it but you were the focus now, his focus, and his residual problems matter much less than making sure you would be okay.

“The one day I wasn’t able to be there...I went with my dad to bring your child to work day and yours did this.” You stated as you continued to look at the marking

It’s true. He did pick the one day where you were busy. You had talked all the week before about bring your child to work day and how it worked. You had gone every year with him since you were 3. He and his siblings were all excited to hear what it was like when you visited the next day but that excitement was ruined by the permanent scar they all received. 

Diego remembered that day in vivid detail. They were all summoned to the parlor and before they knew it the carnage began. Klaus got his tattoo first as punishment for being intoxicated. It was a vicious punishment for such a minor action. Allison went next and cried the whole time. When she finished Klaus held her as she continued to spill tears. Then it was his turn. The needle scared him but he put on a tough face to show that he had the mental fortitude to be a leader. He didn’t even accept comfort from his own mother. Luther and Ben went next and then Five was last. Five had looked at the front door the whole time, probably hoping you would show up unannounced and stop it before he was marked. It didn’t happen. All of them knew that their father chose this day on purpose. It was cruel. Diego looked off in the distance as the memories replayed in his head. He still tried to cheer up the conversation though by lightly joking,

“If he did it on a day you were around you would’ve burned the house down.” 

His joking didn’t work though as you sadly followed up,

“All of you hid it from me. Why?”

“We all knew you’d feel exactly like this, like it was your fault. We made a pact not to say anything because it would hurt your feelings and I’m sure you could guess who led the efforts on that idea.” Diego responded honestly

You nodded your head. Of course, he didn’t want to hurt your feelings.

“I always felt like you knew, but you never said anything so I wasn’t sure. How did you find out?” Diego added

“Vanya.” You respond with a yawn

“Of course it was Vanya.” Diego mumbles

You could feel yourself growing tired again. Your eyelids started to droop as you explained,

“She had drawn the image in black marker on her wrist and when I asked why she told me. He didn’t say anything until I brought it up.”

You didn’t like referring to Five by his name. You barely mentioned him because the wound of his loss was still too much. Diego didn’t understand how someone who cared for you so much could cut you so deeply. It didn’t make sense, but he couldn’t change the past.

“I could’ve protected you all...” You mumbled before falling back asleep

“It wasn’t your job to protect us.” Diego quietly replied

He held your small sleeping figure closer to him and rocked you once more.

“But it’s my job to protect you.”

[ladydarklord]

The Mighty Boosh on the business of being silly

The Times, November 15 2008

What began as a cult cocktail of daft poems, surreal characters and fantastical storylines has turned into the comedy juggernaut that is the Mighty Boosh. Janice Turner hangs out with creators Noel Fielding, Julian Barratt and the extended Boosh family to discuss the serious business of being silly

In the thin drizzle of a Monday night in Sheffield, a crowd of young women are waiting for the Mighty Boosh or, more precisely, one half of it. Big-boned Yorkshire lasses, jacketless and unshivering despite the autumn nip, they look ready to devour the object of their desire, the fey, androgynous Noel Fielding, if he puts a lamé boot outside the stage door. “Ooh, I do love a man in eyeliner,” sighs Natalie from Rotherham. She’ll be throwing sickies at work to see the Boosh show 13 times on their tour, plus attend the Boosh after-show parties and Boosh book signings. “My life is dead dull without them,” she says.

Nearby, mobiles primed, a pair of sixth-formers trade favourite Boosh lines. “What is your name?” asks Jessica. “I go by many names, sir,” Victoria replies portentously. A prison warden called Davena survives long days with high-security villains intoning, “It’s an outrage!” in the gravelly voice of Boosh character Tony Harrison, a being whose head is a testicle.

Apart from Fielding, what they all love most about the Boosh is that half their mates don’t get it. They see a bloke in a gorilla suit, a shaman called Naboo, silly rhymes about soup, stories involving shipwrecked men seducing coconuts “and they’re like, ‘This is bloody rubbish,’” says Jessica. “So you feel special because you do get it. You’re part of a club.”

Except the Mighty Boosh club is now more like a movement. What began as an Edinburgh fringe show starring Fielding and his partner Julian Barratt and later became an obscure BBC3 series has grown into a box-set flogging, mega-merchandising, 80-date touring Boosh inc. There was a Boosh festival last summer, now talk of a Boosh movie and Boosh in America. An impasse seems to have been reached: either the Boosh will expand globally or, like other mass comedy cults before it – Vic and Bob, Newman and Baddiel – slowly begin to deflate.

But for the moment, the fans still wait in the rain for heroes who’ve already left the building. I find the Boosh gang gathered in their hotel bar, high on post-gig adrenalin. Barratt, blokishly handsome with his ring-master moustache, if a tad paunchy these days, blends in with the crew. But Fielding is never truly “off”. All day he has been channelling A Clockwork Orange in thick black eyeliner (now smudged into panda rings) and a bowler hat, which he wears with polka-dot leggings, gold boots and a long, neon-green fur-collared PVC trenchcoat. He has, as those women outside put it, “something about him”: a carefully-wrought rock-god danger mixed with an amiable sweetness. Sexy yet approachable. Which is why, perched on a barstool, is a great slab of security called Danny.

“He stops people getting in our faces,” says Fielding. “He does massive stars like P. Diddy and Madonna and he says that considering how we’re viewed in the media as a cult phenomenon, we get much more attention in the street than, say, Girls Aloud. Danny says we’re on the same level as Russell Brand, who can’t walk from the door to the car without ten people speaking to him.”

This barometer of fame appears to fascinate and thrill Fielding. Although he complains he can’t eat dinner with his girlfriend (Dee Plume from the band Robots in Disguise) unmolested, he parties hard and publicly with paparazzi-magnets like Courtney Love and Amy Winehouse. He claims he’s tried wearing a baseball cap but fans still recognise him. Hearing this, Julian Barratt smiles wryly: “Noel is never going to dress down.”

It is clear on meeting them that their Boosh characters Vince Noir (Fielding), the narcissistic extrovert, and Howard Moon (Barratt), the serious, socially awkward jazz obsessive, are comic exaggerations of their own personalities. At the afternoon photo shoot, Fielding breaks free of the hair and make-up lady, sprays most of a can of Elnett on to his Bolan feather-cut and teases it to his satisfaction. Very Vince. “It is an art-life crossover,” says Barratt.

At 40, five years older than Fielding, Barratt exhibits the profound weariness of a man trying to balance a five-month national tour with new-fatherhood. After every Saturday night show he returns home to his 18-month-old twins, Arthur and Walter, and his partner Julia Davis (the creator-star of Nighty Night) and today he was up at 5am pushing a pram on Hampstead Heath before taking the train north to rejoin the Boosh. “I go back so the boys remember who I am. But it’s harder to leave them every time,” he says. “It is totally schizophrenic, totally opposite mental states: all this self-obsession and then them.”

About two nights a week on tour, Fielding doesn’t go to bed, parties through the night and performs the next evening having not slept at all. Barratt often retreats to his room to plough through box sets of The Wire. “It’s a bit gritty, but that is in itself an escape, because what we do is so fantastical.”

But mostly it is hard to resist the instant party provided by a large cast, crew and band. Indeed, drinking with them, it appears Fielding and Barratt are but the most famous members of a close collective of artists, musicians and old mates. Fielding’s brother Michael, who previously worked in a bowling alley, plays Naboo the shaman. “He is late every single day,” complains Noel. “He’s mad and useless, but I’m quite protective of him, quite parental.” Michael is always arguing with Bollo the gorilla, aka Fielding’s best mate, Dave Brown, a graphic artist relieved to remove his costume – “It’s so hot in there I fear I may never father children” – to design the Boosh book. One of the lighting crew worked as male nanny to Barratt’s twins and was in Michael’s class at school: “The first time I met you,” he says to Noel, “you gave me a dead arm.” “You were 9,” Fielding replies. “And you were messing with my stuff.”

This gang aren’t hangers-on but the wellspring of the Boosh’s originality and its strange, homespun, degree-show aesthetic: a character called Mr Susan is made out of chamois leathers, the Hitcher has a giant Polo Mint for an eye. When they need a tour poster they ignore the promoter’s suggestions and call in their old mate, Nige.

Fielding and Barratt met ten years ago at a comedy night in a North London pub. The former had just left Croydon Art College, the latter had dropped out of an American Studies degree at Reading to try stand-up, although he was so terrified at his first gig that he ran off stage and had to be dragged back by the compere.

While superficially different, their childhoods have a common theme: both had artistic, bohemian parents who exercised benign neglect. Fielding’s folks were only 17 when he was born: “They were just kids really. Hippies. Though more into Black Sabbath and Led Zep. There were lots of parties and crazy times. They loved dressing up. And there was a big gap between me and my brother – about nine years – so I was an only child for a long time, hanging out with them, lots of weird stuff going on.

“The great thing about my mum and dad is they let me do anything I wanted as a kid as long as I wasn’t misbehaving. I could eat and go to bed when I liked. I used to spend a lot of time drawing and painting and reading. In my own world, I guess.”

Growing up in Mitcham, South London, his father was a postmaster, while his mother now works for the Home Office. Work was merely the means to fund a good time. “When your dad is into David Bowie, how do you rebel against that? You can’t really. They come to all the gigs. They’ve been in America for the past three weeks. I’m ringing my mum really excited because we’re hanging out with Jim Sheridan, who directed In the Name of the Father, and the Edge from U2, and she said, ‘We’re hanging with Jack White,’ whom they met through a friend of mine. Trumped again!”

Barratt’s father was a Leeds art teacher, his mother an artist later turned businesswoman. “Dad was a bit more strict and academic. Mum would let me do anything I wanted, didn’t mind whether I went to school.” Through his father he became obsessed with Monty Python, went to jazz and Spike Milligan gigs, learnt about sex from his dad’s leatherbound volumes of Penthouse.

Barratt joined bands and assumed he would become a musician (he does all the Boosh’s musical arrangements); Fielding hoped to become an artist (he designed the Boosh book cover and throughout our interview sketches obsessively). Instead they threw their talents into comedy. Barratt: “It is a great means of getting your ideas over instantly.” Fielding: “Yes, it is quite punk in that way.”

Their 1998 Edinburgh Fringe show called The Mighty Boosh was named, obscurely, after a friend’s description of Michael Fielding’s huge childhood Afro: “A mighty bush.” While their double-act banter has an old-fashioned dynamic, redolent of Morecambe and Wise, the show threw in weird characters and a fantasy storyline in which they played a pair of zookeepers. They are very serious about their influences. “Magritte, Rousseau...” says Fielding. “I like Rousseau’s made-up worlds: his jungle has all the things you’d want in a jungle, even though he’d never been in one so it was an imaginary place.”

Eclectic, weird and, crucially, unprepared to compromise their aesthetic sensibilities, it was 2004 before, championed by Steve Coogan’s Baby Cow production company, their first series aired on BBC3. Through repeats and DVD sales the second series, in which the pair have left the zoo and are living above Naboo’s shop, found a bigger audience. Last year the first episode of series three had one million viewers. But perhaps the Boosh’s true breakthrough into mainstream came in June when George Bush visited Belfast and a child presented him with a plant labelled “The Mighty Bush”. Assuming it was a tribute to his greatness, the president proudly displayed it for the cameras, while the rest of Britain tittered.

A Boosh audience these days is quite a mix. In Sheffield the front row is rammed with teenage indie girls, heavy on the eyeliner, who fancy Fielding. But there are children, too: my own sons can recite whole “crimps” (the Boosh’s silly, very English version of rap) word for word. And there are older, respectable types who, when I interview them, all apologise for having such boring jobs. They’re accountants, IT workers, human resources officers and civil servants. But probe deeper and you find ten years ago they excelled at art A level or played in a band, and now puzzle how their lives turned out so square. For them, the Boosh embody their former dreams. And their DIY comedy, shambolic air, the slightly crap costumes, the melding of fantasy with the everyday, feels like something they could still knock up at home.

Indeed, many fans come to gigs in costume. At the Mighty Boosh Festival 15,000 people came dressed up to watch bands and absurdity in a Kent field. And in Sheffield I meet a father-and-son combo dressed as Howard Moon and Bob Fossil – general manager of the zoo – plus a gang of thirty-something parents elaborately attired as Crack Fox, Spirit of Jazz, a granny called Nanageddon, and Amy Housemouse. “I love the Boosh because it’s total escapism,” says Laura Hargreaves, an employment manager dressed as an Electro Fairy. “It’s not all perfect and people these days worry too much that things aren’t perfect. It’s just pure fun.”

But how to retain that appealingly amateur art-school quality now that the Boosh is a mega comedy brand? Noel Fielding is adamant that they haven’t grown cynical, that The Mighty Book of Boosh was a long-term project, not a money-spinner chucked out for Christmas: “There is a lot of heart in what we do,” he says. Barratt adds: “It’s been hard this year to do everything we’ve wanted, to a standard we’re proud of... Which is why we’re worn to shreds.”

Comedy is most powerful in intimate spaces, but the Boosh show, with its huge set, requires major venues. “We’ve lost money every day on the tour,” says Fielding. “The crew and the props and what it costs to take them on the road – it’s ridiculous. Small gigs would lose millions of pounds.”

The live show is a kind of Mighty Boosh panto, with old favourites – Bob Fossil, Bollo, Tony Harrison, etc – coming on to cheers of recognition. But it lacks the escapism to the perfectly conceived world of the TV show. They have told the BBC they don’t want a fourth series: they want a movie. They would also, as with Little Britain USA, like a crack at the States, where they run on BBC America. Clearly the Boosh needs to keep evolving or it will die.

Already other artists are telling Fielding and Barratt to make their money now: “They say this is our time, which is quite frightening.” I recall Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer, who dominated the Nineties with Big Night Out and Shooting Stars. “Yes, they were massive,” says Fielding. “A number one record...” And now Reeves presents Brainiac. “If you have longer-term goals, it’s not scary,” says Barratt. “To me, I’m heading somewhere else – to direct, make films, write stuff – and at the moment it’s all gone mental. I’m sort of enjoying this as an outsider. It was Noel who had this desire to reach more people.”

Indeed, the old cliché that comedy is the new rock’n’roll is closest to being realised in Noel Fielding. Watching him perform the thrash metal numbers in the Boosh live show, he is half ironic comic performer, half frustrated rock god. His heroes weren’t comics but androgynous musicians: Jagger, Bowie, Syd Barrett. (Although he liked Peter Cook’s style and looks.)

“I like clothes and make-up, I like the transformation,” he says. Does it puzzle him that women find this so sexually attractive? “I was reading a book the other day about the New York Dolls and David Johansen was saying that none of them were gay or even bisexual, and that when they started dressing in stilettos and leather pants, women got it straight away with no explanation. But a lot of men had problems. It’s one of those strange things. A man will go, ‘You f***ing queer.’ And you just think, ‘Well, your girlfriend fancies me.’”

The Boosh stopped signing autographs outside stage doors when it started taking two hours a night. At recent book signings up to 1,500 people have shown up, some sleeping overnight in the queue. And on this tour, the Boosh took control of the after-show parties, once run as money-spinners by the promoters, and now show up in person to do DJ slots. I ask if they like to meet their fans, and they laugh nervously.

Fielding: “We have to be behind a fence.”

Barratt: “They try to rip your clothes off your body.”

Fielding: “The other day my girlfriend gave me this ring. And, doing the rock numbers at the end, I held out my hands and the crowd just ripped it off.”

Barratt: “I see it as a thing which is going to go away. A moment when people are really excited about you. And it can’t last.”

He recalls a man in York grabbing him for a photo, saying, “I’d love to be you, it must be so amazing.” And Barratt says he thought, “Yes, it is. But all the while I was trying to duck into this doorway to avoid the next person.” He’s trying to enjoy the Boosh’s moment, knows it will pass, but all the same?

In the hotel bar, a young woman fan has dodged past Danny and comes brazenly over to Fielding. Head cocked attentively like a glossy bird, he chats, signs various items, submits to photos, speaks to her mate on her phone. The rest of the Boosh crew eye her steelily. They know how it will end. “You have five minutes then you go,” hisses one. “I feel really stupid now,” says the girl. It is hard not to squirm at the awful obeisance of fandom. But still she milks the encounter, demands Fielding come outside to meet her friend. When he demurs she is outraged, and Danny intercedes. Fielding returns to his seat slightly unsettled. “What more does she want?” he mutters, reaching for his wine glass. “A skin sample?”

[the-cat-at-the-theatre-door]

Gus and Skimbleshanks for the character ask!

All of them?? Oh, gee, okay um...

I'll tell you what - I'll answer all of them for Gus for now, and then perhaps answer them all for Skimble in the future (depending on interest level).

Alright, let’s see...

Gus

Already answered 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10 here!

1. Something this character is truly proud of

Gus is extremely proud of his accomplishments throughout his life, and extremely proud of how he worked up from nothing to get where he is - and he will humbly boast about these accomplishments until the cows come home, ask anyone in his proximity.

But, if I may take a moment to be as sappy as a possibly can, what Gus is *most* proud of is his legacy - aka, his children and his grandchildren. Though he never thought he’d be the nurturing type, and he still really isn’t, there is not a soul alive that has come into contact with Gus the Theatre Cat that does not know of his son and daughter, and later, his group of grandkittens. That’s why he’s always lamenting at the young ones that they “think they’re smart” when they do the bare minimum when he *knows* that they’re able to accomplish more than that.

2.Who they want to please the most.

Gus is, quite literally, a crowd pleaser. He’s a showman, so of course he is. He wants to please his audience, his director, his fellow castmates...all at once. He is also very proud when he manages to please his fellow cats or people in his family - for making a name for himself, for getting somewhere, for reaching such prominence as just a *cat* for crying out loud. He’s made it, and that makes him feel happier than anything else considering where he started.

When kittens tell him that they want to be like him someday, he positively beams.

3. Who depends on them.

His children depended on him for the longest time, but he kinda blew it with that one for a good chunk of their lives - and by the time he had started to come around, they were already independent, and it’s one of his biggest regrets that he didn’t come around sooner.

Nowadays, no one really depends on Gus for physical things or favours, but there are many members of the tribe that depend on him to listen and to talk to them. Gus has a way of spinning situations simply so that they make sense, an eccentric conversation style that is both pleasant and distracting, and is able to read the room *extremely* easily. It’s a little spooky how easily Gus can pick up on a situation, with very little conversation, and how smoothly he can transition conversation/interaction style if necessary. Gus can be rather blunt and honest to a fault, but you’d be hard-pressed to find better life advice than from him.

(If we go with my Gus and Bella are siblings, theory, she used to depend on him a lot when they were young, since their parents also weren’t around much - what goes around and all that - to protect her and watch her)

4. What they would do if they had one month to live

Well...I mean...what is he doing now?

Sorry. A younger Gus would have said he would press on with whatever he was doing at the time. He’d want to be back in the pub with his friends, late into the night. He’d love to get a final dramatic monologue in, a final curtain call; die doing what he loves instead of caught up in a bed.

Now, well, Gus is well aware - somewhere in the back of his mind - that he’s not going to live a long time. He knows the end is nearing. All he really wants is quiet - after a life lived out loud, if he could just collect himself enough to sort everything out one thing at a time, and quietly work through each day he would be grateful. Bored to death, perhaps, but grateful.

He’d like to maybe see Bella again, before he goes.

5. A cherished personal belonging.

The blanket Gus began to wear around his shoulders used to be where his wife and children slept and where his grandchildren currently play, and it has a whole cacophony of different scents attached to it. He hates being parted with it. When things get overwhelming for him, he buries himself in it, curling himself under a literal blanket of familiarity - even if he isn’t quite sure *why* it’s familiar.

11. This character’s favorite piece or pieces of clothing.

He has a pair of gloves that his wife also made for him that Jelly has patched over the years because they’ve worn thin. She ended up having to cut the fingers off and hem them when they became more hole than glove.

He also has a scarf given to him by one of the theatre patrons from an earlier show of his - a little girl with her mother who was only truly fascinated with the cat on stage, and didn’t understand why they didn’t give him a costume as well. She was helping by giving him hers.

12. How they sleep.

He snores and mutters in his sleep, to the point where he seems to have entire conversations with himself. He’s also rather fitful. The kittens are wary of sleeping anywhere near him, since he has been known to jerk awake suddenly and kick out in alarm (and doesn’t he feel guilty the few times that *has* caught a few of them in the ribs or the legs)

13. What kind of parent they would be.

Well he *is* one, and the answer to that question would be not a *great* one, but not a *bad* one either. Gus is a fun parent, a loving parent, a proud parent, but he isn’t the best parental figure. He isn’t so great with discipline, nor is he great for showing up to anything on time.

I’d say Gus’ strength as a parent came from his unfailing willingness to go along with whatever scenario his children would cook up - from pirates to knights and princesses to aliens - Gus was always willing to jump into the game should they invite him to play with them. And you know he threw his entire self into it, too.

14. How they did in school

Gus would have a been a “graduated from Juilliard” kinda guy, if the timeline matched up - or if he could have afforded it.

As it stands, he didn’t really finish school. Not necessarily out of any inability to do so, but a complete and total lack of interest. He held odd jobs mostly, to support his family, which led him to quietly quitting school. He figured anything he wanted to learn would be just as good coming from direct experience or working under a mentor than a formal education - and it got him where he is today, so all in all not bad.

15. What cologne or perfume they would use

There is a very specific one that my grandfather uses that smells exactly like something Gus would wear - it’s that standard older gentleman scent - kind of like...Aqua Velva but softer - that is slightly on the pricy side, but not ridiculously so. He doesn’t bathe in it, but he uses it religiously.

He *used* to dip into a Chanel perfume that one of his actress friends gave to him after one of their shows wrapped, that he *kinda* thought just smelled a lot like lightly spicy rubbing alcohol but felt it polite to at least...use it - when that finally ran out and he curiously checked on its price...he never even looked at it again.

(”Ridiculous...I may as well douse myself in a bottle of gin it’ll give off the same effect!”)

16. Their sexuality

Gus is bisexual and biromantic, with a preference for Queens, but he’s had several trysts with Toms as well. He was quite the paramour in his younger days.

17. What they’d sing at karaoke

Gus finds karaoke to be absolutely *dreadful* in that he legitimately does not see the fun in it OR its purpose.  And that’s coming from a cat whose whole job it is to perform.

So count him out of that. He’ll monologue on the spot for you, though, if he is so inclined.

18. Special talents they have

Gus used to be extremely good at remembering people’s names - even after just one introduction or overhearing it once (Jelly gets that from him).

He's very good at patter songs and tongue twisters. He also used to delight his kits by speeding through the alphabet backwards.

He can clock a person's personality within literally seconds of knowing them - and he's usually right.

He plays piano and was the one who taught Jelly to play. He can’t so much anymore with his shaking hands.

19. When they feel safest

Gus feels safest in the light when he's able to see everything. He never got stage fright, per say, but would get waves of nerves when he was directly in a spotlight - with the rest of the stage dark around him...like he was being swallowed. He would get nervous to move out of it - the lighting techs needed to be *very* on the ball if the director called for a total blackout (he only really trusted two of them).

20. Household chore they hate the most

Cooking. 100%. Can't stand it. Does not know how the oven works. Cannot adjust to picky palettes well. Definitely a take out dad.

21. Their fondest childhood memory

(Sibling AU) When Gus and Grizabella were children, they put on “Cinderella” (which Bella insisted would be changed to “Cinderbella” because of course. Gus goes along with it because *whatever fine his mother told him that he was the big brother and had to be nice to her*) as one of their very first collaborative plays together - they were around 8 and 6 respectively. They had already put on dozens of little skits and read-throughs and imaginary games, and they loved doing it.

Bella *refused* to be anyone other than Cinderella and Gus refused to play the prince (because it meant he had to *kiss his sister yuck*), so instead it was really “Staring Grizabella as Cinderella and Asparagus as *literally every other part except for Prince Charming*.- they spent hours trying to figure out how the quick changes would work, and making script changes, and hanging sheets behind them for curtains, and Bella glued together a tiny little suit for her teddy bear who would play the prince instead.

All in all, it went about as well as they could have expected - a bit of a disaster. They put it on for their father, who watched with tired eyes and a patient smile, and applauded enthusiastically at the end - and they both decided right then and there that that was what they would do for the rest of their lives.

He considers that his first stage credit.

22. How they spend their money.

Honestly, Gus’ money spending habits are very strange. He will buy himself a new car *once* and then run the thing into the ground until it physically can’t run anymore, won't buy new clothes until you can see through the old ones, will *always* weasel his way out of paying for alcohol at a bar (he has *many* tricks up his sleeve for this one), and he will refuse to spend his money on other frivolous things, but you bet your dollar that he is literally always shelling out money to his grandchildren just because - saying it would be their little secret, and one time bought a bird house because it "spoke to him" but never bothered to hang it up or actually use it.

23. What kind of alcohol they drink

Well, he used to be a “whatever I am given I will drink and I will probably drink *too much*” kind of guy, but since cutting back he’ll moreso partake in brandy or gin, but only in very small doses.

24. What they wish they could change about themselves

There are several things that Gus wishes he could change from the past, but the one thing he wishes he could truly change about himself in the present is how much of a burden he feels he’s become to the others (he's not but he feels that way). Gus is a proud cat, he will admit that. And with that pride comes mourning of his own independence.

Sometimes, when Jelly is helping him do things - like button up his coat or helping him to eat - he just looks at her forlornly and murmurs “My poor dear. You shouldn’t have to do any of this.”

He also wishes that there wasn’t a period of time that his familial relationships were so strained because of him putting his career first, but he can’t really change that so much as try his best to make up for it.

25. What other people wish they could change about them

Gus has the tendency to be a little...let’s say *long-winded*. And a little hypercritical. He holds himself to a high - near-impossible - standard, so he also has a bad habit of holding others to that same standard.

[fundielicious-simblr]

Character Recap! Gen 2

After a good break to sort my life out, I decided that it would be good to do an update on everybody (yup, this is one of those posts) Why, you ask? Because I enjoy driving myself crazy by creating unnecessary amounts of work for myself - but y’all knew that already 😂 Keeping in line with that theme, one night at 4am I decided that I wanted to revamp my character pages (which ended up being my whole Tumblr theme) which would require updated pictures of everybody. I don’t know what possessed me to dredge up my old coding knowledge - if you can even call it knowledge- but I’m still in the process of finishing the character pages for gen 3 because there’s so many of them. 😅

Even though we’re on gen 3 officially, these characters are still mentioned in some parts of the story, and I also find it hard to let go of these since they’re my OG 8, the first sims born in game that I’ve ‘raised’. I’ve only just had the time to sit down and calculate peoples ages, meaning that the first 2 couples should technically still be adults, but I’m not reversing the aging process - we’re too far in 😂

I’ve updated my character’s page for gen 2 (gen 3 is almost done, but this isn’t about them 😂) I decided to add the ‘labels’ for each couples (where they fall on the fundie scale) because then it would align with what I do for gen 3′s character pages and how I label them. I tried to summarize all the ‘yikes’ bits of the relationships with the bulletpoints to truly highlight the 🥴-iness of it all you know? 

Allan & Casandra 

Meet Allan (54) and Casandra Collins (51) - Here’s a quick recap of their relationship:

They met at Family Bible Camp at 22 and 18 respectively, and were married 5 months later - both had their first kiss at the altar.

They continued to live as quiverfull fundamentalists after their marriage, subscribing to conservative biblical modesty standards, meaning that Casandra (and their subsequent daughters) wear skirts and dresses. They pledged to allow the Lord to decide their family size which led to 15 children - 13 living and 2 miscarriages.

Allan works as the Head Pastor at Newcrest Baptist Church along with being on the Board of Directors for the Centre For Learning and Life, whilst Casandra homeschools their children still at home and ministers to the women of the church in her duties as the Pastor’s wife. When she’s not doing that she’s visiting her grandchildren that live in town, or traveling to see the children and grandchildren that live elsewhere.

Here they are with all their children:

Back L-R: Adalynn (32), Barrett (31), Macie (31), Zoe (29), Maggie (25), Reece (24), Beckett (23)

Front L-R: Amira (22), Priscilla (20), Annette (20), Allan (54), Casandra (51), Charles (18), Parker (17), Ashton (15)

Branden & Lea

Meet Branden (52) and Lea (50) Collins - A recap of their relationship

They met when Lea’s family visited Newcrest Baptist so her father could give the sermon as the visiting pastor when he was 17 and she was 16, and they were married a year later - they saved their first kiss for their wedding day.

They had trouble having children for the first year and a half of their marriage, eventually having their twin girls Abbey and Brittany (28), their son Tanner (25) joined the family 3 years later.

Branden is now a retired Christian novelist, whose books have been bestsellers and he travels from church to church to run writing seminars for authors who are hoping to make it in the business. Lea stays at home and tends to her garden now that all their children are grown. She started the garden in their time before children and that garden has grown to be a local hit - she’s been selling the honey made by their bees and runs workshops to teach young women how to start their gardens to promote healthy eating. She travels along with Branden when he's teaching somewhere, and if she doesn’t she’s visiting her grandchildren.

Here they are with their children:

Front L-R: Abbey (28), Brittany (28), and Tanner (25)

Claire & Ryan

Meet Claire (51) and Ryan Paulson (55) - Here’s their recap:

They met when Claire travelled with a music group to perform at Ryan’s home church when she was 20 and he was 24, they were engaged 3 months later and married 3 months after that - they too had their first kiss at the altar.

They too pledged to allow the Lord to decide their family size and ended up having 10 children, like their parents they subscribe to conservative biblical modesty standards, meaning that the girls in the family wear skirts and dresses only.

Ryan runs his own IT business whilst Claire is a renowned Christian musician. Despite her immense talent, Claire’s main focus was and still is homeschooling her children and being a keeper of the home. As Ryan is his own boss, he is able to travel with Claire whenever she travels to teach of perform, she’s taught their children (who’ve seemingly inherited her talent) and the family performs at various events.

Here they are with their children:

Back L-R: Carter (30), Valentina (28), Alan (27), Celeste (26), Kristyn (24), Sabrina (24)

Front L-R: Jarrod (20), Zachary (18), Conner (15), Jarrett (15)

Danielle & Sebastian

Meet Danielle (51) and Sebastian (53) Hunt - Here’s a recap of their lives:

They met when he moved to Newcrest for his Veterinary residency and started attending their church, where during their courtship they both realised they had a shared love of nature and animals. 6 months later they were married, at the ages of 28 and 30.

They struggled to have children, and when Danielle did get pregnant 3 years into the marriage they ended up losing that pregnancy in the 3rd trimester - Danielle was pregnant with a baby girl they named Sarah. The next year they got pregnant and had their son James (19), and 4 years later they had their daughter Gabriela (15).

Sebastian runs a Vet Clinic in Brindleton Bay and Danielle stays at home to homeschool Gabriela, she does work at the clinic when she has the time and is responsible for the bookkeeping.

Here’s their family:

Elaine & Taylor

Meet Elaine (48) and Taylor (49) Godwin - Here’s a recap of their lives so far:

They met when Taylor moved to Newcrest to be a commuter into the city for his job as an engineer, and started attending their church. They courted for a year before marrying at the ages of  24 and 25.

They had their daughter Kyra (23) a year into their marriage, followed by twins Rory and Ruby Rae (17) 6 years later, Ava Grace (15) was born 2 years after the twins, and the youngest Amelia (11) was born 4 years after Ava.

Taylor works as a mechanical engineer whilst Elaine uses her teaching degree to homeschool the children and teach at the local homeschool co-op. Elaine wanted her children to have the experience of being taught by more than one person, but wanted control of their curriculum, meaning that the co-op was the best thing for them.

Here’s their family:

Fletcher & Cara

Here’s Fletcher (45) and Cara Collins (44) - Here’s a recap of their lives:

They met at Cara’s university when Fletcher was 22 and Cara was 20 and married 3 years later at the ages of 24 and 23 respectively. They set their own standards and therefore kissed before marriage. 7 years into their marriage they had their only child, a son that names James Lee (14)

Whilst Fletcher was raised in a conservative, fundamentalist household, Cara was raised in a less strict conservative Christian home and they chose to realign with less strict rules for their lives. 

Fletcher works as a Sergeant for the Newcrest Police Department and Cara works as a fundraising specialist for the local Conservative party in Newcrest. 

Here’s their family:

Grayson and Keira

Meet Grayson (42) and Keira (40) Collins - Here’s a recap of their lives:

They met when Keira moved to Newcrest to work as a Nurse in the pediatrics ward at Newcrest General hospital, Grayson had begun his rotations and they were in the same orientation group. Keira also joined Newcrest Baptist, their relationship blossomed from there and married after dating for a year and a half at the ages of 26 and 24.

They were open to having as many children as the Lord saw fit to provide, and they had their son Matthew (14)  2 years into their marriage, followed by their son Archie (11) 3 years later. There were complications during Archie’s birth that lead to Keira having a partial hysterectomy to save her life, meaning that their family is complete with their 2 boys.

Grayson works as an Obstetrician/Gynaecologist at Newcrest General, and Keira worked as a Nurse until they had their children. They’ve chosen to homeschool their children until high school, after which they enroll them in a private Christian high school. Once Archie the youngest moves into high school, Keira plans to return back to work at the hospital.

Here’s their family:

Harley & Gabriel

Meet Harley (42) and Gabriel (45) Barnard - Here’s a recap of their relationship:

They met at a dinner party in San Myshuno, they became fast friends and started dating a year after they met. They dated for 2 years before getting married at the ages of 28 and 21.

Harley was the first of her female siblings to go to college, she has a 1st class degree in Fine Arts with a focus on Fashion. She’s also the first of her female siblings to work a full time job. After going to college, Harley realised she was more like her older brother Fletcher and his wife in terms of beliefs, so when she married Gabriel they both agreed that in terms of beliefs that they’d attend a conservative non-fundamentalist church in San Myshuno. They both chose not to have children, so they spend time with their nieces and nephews, as well as the children their nieces and nephews.

Gabriel works as the Head Chef of a 5 star restaurant in the city, and Harley is the Editor-in-Chief of the popular fashion magazine ‘Myshuno Madness’

Gen 2 total: 8 sims (16 if you count the spouses)

Aaaand that is the first reintroduction post! Posts will restart after this one, mostly because I need queue some things up before doing the gen 3 posts so that I don’t need to worry about spoilers 😂

[prosopopeya]

New Year’s Meme

this survey has been a tradition among my friend group for YEARS, but i haven’t filled it out since 2015 apparently. i’m not entirely sure why except 2016 was the year a lot of stuff changed for me, namely in that i finally got out of school in some form and started a new job, but i also had a few health problems that kept plaguing me (thyroid medicine being off, vitamin d) and my anxiety was all over the place. so here we go i’m doing it again and feel free to do it too if you want!!

1. What did you do in 2020 that you’d never done before? tried on wedding dresses. taught virtually. dealt (poorly) with drunk teenagers. performed in a pep rally. wore face masks all the time. i’m going to lump in living with someone. jon moved in october 2019, but i don’t think i did this quiz last year so. taught ap.

2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions and will you make more for next year? i don’t really like resolutions. they put too much pressure on me and i am a fragile person when it comes to setting expectations and living up to them. i did want to try to read more this year, and i maintained that until the pandemic, and then just kind of gave up requiring myself to do anything but live.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? i don’t think so. a coworker did.

4. Did anyone close to you die? jon’s cousin committed suicide in march or april. the circumstances were pretty upsetting. um. andy died in february, very suddenly. andy was my high school boyfriend for four years with whom i had a very... he scarred me in a lot of ways when it comes to sex and consent. it’s taken me a long time to unpack all of that. and i struggle with how much any of that was his fault or just bc he was a stupid kid too. our mutual friends had nothing but nice things to say about him on fb. anyway. he would guilt me into saying he’d kill himself if we broke up, and jon’s cousin killed himself over his girlfriend. so that was a complex part of the year.

5. What countries did you visit? none. literally the week before the quarantine, we went to asheville to visit jon’s cousin.

6. What would you like to have in 2021 that you lacked in 2020? maybe a different job? or at least some peace at doing mine.

7. What date from 2020 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? march 13 we cancelled classes and had a technology training day; the 15th we had another one, and then we were virtual the rest of the term. it was such a sudden shift and while i so loved working from home tbh, it was such a relief after a supremely shitty january/february work-wise, i still had a lot of keyed-up, stressful days centered around transitioning to being the senior upper school spanish teacher. i hate it!

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? writing 50k in the month of november. i have literally never done that before and actively reject nano as being typically unhealthy for how my mind works, so it was nice to do it entirely by accident.

9. What was your biggest failure? mishandling the drunken teenagers on that field trip in january.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? i sit crosslegged in my virtual teaching chair and i did it so much that my ankle hurt for the entire summer.

11. What was the best thing you bought? we put a deposit on our elopement in ireland. jon’s wedding ring. (i didn’t buy my wedding dress.)

12. Whose behavior merited celebration? my best friend at work who keeps me sane and is represented by benny in my au, which other than the fact that he is not my sidepiece, is perfect he is crucial to my survival at work and i love him so much. (also he is gay and the french teacher so the benny parallels just keep coming). everyone who tore down a statue in virginia (and other places, but especially monument avenue). everyone putting their lives on the line during this pandemic.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? guess! but aside from all the obvious, i found out a friend of mine at work voted for trump. my work bff and i had been trying for years to sway his politics, but that had us both deciding to give up on him.

14. Where did most of your money go?  food, ALCOHOL. god., our savings account. i did a pretty excellent job saving this year, though a good deal of that is because jon moved in and makes more money than me, and also we split all the bills.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? my wedding dress but strangely only when i went to try it on after it came in bc after the purchase i was so sure i’d made every mistake possible. my wedding band. wellbutrin changing my whole life. and, last but certainly not least, the gay angel and the bi(lingual) hunter. i wouldn’t have survived nov-dec in school without that distraction. the election.

16. What song(s) will always remind you of 2020? the entirety of taylor swift’s oeuvre this year, maybe specifically “this is me trying”

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:  i. Happier or sadder? happier, i suppose, perhaps contrary to what should be the case, but wellbutrin is a hell of a drug. ii. Older or wiser? wiser. ii. Richer or poorer? richer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? reading. cleaning. exercising.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? stressing. chaperoning.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? so, an update; last year was the first year i didn’t go to my mom’s for christmas. i was supposed to see her for thanksgiving last year, but she basically told us not to come bc she wasn’t feeling up to it (cool!), and we went to jon’s for christmas and my mom’s for new year’s. 

this year, obviously we couldn’t go to my mom’s. instead, we rented a little cabin by the lake. it was perfect; it was really really nice inside, the beds were SO SOFT, the pillows were the best things i have ever laid my head on, like i took off the pillowcases to try to find the brand. we had a little tiny christmas tree with tiny ornaments from walmart that we decorated. the 23rd, we went and picked up our wedding bands. we slept two nights in the (cold) back bedroom so i could wake up and look out at the lake. it snowed for christmas. :)

we opened presents on christmas eve, per jon’s family’s tradition. on christmas eve, we also went to his family farm and sat outside and hung out a little. every year his family does like a secret santa sort of thing and i got my first present in that exchange, which is notable bc jon and i are not yet officially married. i got a remote control car -- jon’s idea bc i couldn’t think of anything, and he was so delighted to hear that i loved playing with rc cars when we went to the beach as a kid.

christmas morning we facetimed my parents and opened some presents together. then jon and i marathoned mandalorian (after spending the previous few days watching several die hard movies), and then we watched wonder woman 1984 which was a bad movie.

21. How will you be spending New Year’s Eve? ok LAST year for new year’s, we were in a hotel room, so that was nice, bc it meant minimal stress with my parents. i had always wanted to go to this restaurant near us that has a special new year’s menu, so we did that. the night before or after i think we went to cheesecake factory, which was also amazing.

this year currently i’m tumbling and he’s playing pokemon, and in a bit we’ll try to time it so we finish schitt’s creek in time for the new year.

22. Did you fall in love in 2020? i re-fell in love with supernatural so that was nice.

23. How many one-night stands? 0. i submit we should randomly change question 23 each year to something more relevant to any of our life experiences.

24. What was your favorite TV program? what did i even watch this year. schitt’s creek. mandalorian. i mean obviously we know supernatural. the circle. are you the one (the queer season). pose. unsolved mysteries. we’re here! perry mason. watchmen. oh maybe that mcdonald’s monopoly fraud documentary. avenue 5. i’ll be gone in the dark. of those i think my favorite maybe is... pose or we’re here.

OKAY UM. on my 2014 version of this there were a bunch of questions about tv shows that i’m putting back in if only for the memories:

25. Which TV shows did you start watching in 2020? the haunting of bly manor, which we still need to finish. derry girls.

26. Which TV shows did you let go of in 2020? HERE’S WHY I WANTED TO RESURRECT THESE. here was my answer in 2015: “supernatural. goodbye, my sweet prince.” CAN YOU EVEN FUCKING BELIEVE

27. Which TV shows did you mean to get into but didn’t in 2020? Why? so far, queen’s gambit and that one on hulu with catherine the great. EVENTUALLY. 28. Which TV shows do you intend on checking out in 2020? fleabag. queen’s gambit. 29. Which TV show do you think you might let go of in 2020 unless things significantly improve? idk i drop things pretty regularly if they don’t entertain me 30. Which TV show impressed you least in 2020? GUYS HERE’S MY ORIGINAL 2015 ANSWER: “supernatural. :(”

anyway back to the rest of the quiz:

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? every person who refuses to listen to facts and information.

26. What was the best book you read? killers of the flower moon: the osage murders and the birth of the fbi, or the his dark materials series.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? well i knew about tswift so i’m not going to count her albums. i will count this song that jon played for me once in the car that got stuck in my head for two weeks straight and led me down into a great related-songs spotify playlist: through the roof ‘n underground.

28. What did you want and get? a wedding dress and a very specific kind of wedding band. a gay angel. a christmas getaway. animal crossing.

29. What was your favorite film of this year? idk i don’t know how many films i saw this year. maybe mucho mucho amor: the legend of walter mercado

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? i was 32. we went to an escape room with a BUNCH of people -- work bff, my old work bff and his wife (old bc he quit and we’ve fallen out of touch :(), the cool new physics teacher and his fiancee, and the aforementioned trump voter and his wife, before we knew... we went out for brunch/lunch after. it was pretty great!

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? not having to chaperone that school trip in january. dean being bi in english as well as spanish. cas just ilke, appearing in 15x20. not having to physically go back to work this fall.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2020? no! real! pants!

34. What kept you sane? jon. supernatural (in a way?). animal crossing for a while. wellbutrin! i haven’t really been able to detail this yet, but finally i did something about tumblr and my therapist making me think about adhd. my doctor gave me wellbutrin (bc i lack any official diagnosis and was on anxiety meds anyway, and he was like let’s try this!) and it’s fucking. it’s a fucking godsend. surprisingly enough, my students. trying to provide them a safe space has been a calming thing for me.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? jensen ackles’ silence. misha collins again, i guess.

36. What political issue stirred you the most? the summer was so fucking intense. i guess though it was me trying to exert my influence in a responsible way with my students without trying to try to make them feel uncomfortable but then one kid was a vocally upset trump supporter after the election and i had to try to defuse that situation.

37. Who did you miss? my old work bff. several old friends that i’ve fallen out of touch with bc i have no object permanence.

38. Who was the best new person you met? people i met through the spn resurgence!

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2020: if you manifest it in an au, it will come. no really though. maybe that expectations are only as important as i make them out to be.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: usually i have a hard time coming up with anything for this and i default to looking at my most played songs of the year. my most played song of the year received each and every one of its plays within the month of november and you can guess why. anyway see if this works

I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met I don't know what I'm supposed to do Haunted by the ghost of you Take me back to the night we met - the night we met, lord huron

[purplesurveys]

1090

survey by --ranboweyes--

1.] What age is your youngest aunt? I have a relative who’s technically my aunt since she’s a cousin of my mom, but she’s like 3 years younger which makes her 18-19ish, I think. 

2.] Do you miss someone right now? The only thing I’m missing is the weekend which is quickly ending lol.

3.] What can you see to the Northwest to you? I can see our living room couch.

4.] Do you like bowling? I love bowling. I wish I could do it all the time, only if a session wasn’t so expensive.

5.] Can you pronounce Italian words? I mean I can try saying the words but I know I’m definitely not pronouncing them in the native accent. @justsurveys​ definitely can though, heh.

6.] Do you prefer black or beige colored jackets? I have more black ones, but I’m not opposed to trying out beige.

7.] Do you own a hoodie? Yes, I’m wearing one right now because it’s pretty chilly tonight.

8.] Do you like roasting marshmallows on a bonfire? I’ve only done this once, which was in like Grade 3 when we had an overnight thingy in school and our teacher planned a bonfire for us. But I’m not a fan of marshmallows at all so the answer to this is no.

9.] Do you like cheesy puffs? No. I prefer other snacks.

10.] What's your name without vowels? Rbyn or Rbn, if we’re counting out the letter y.

11.] How many layers of clothing are you wearing? Just two, which is always the case if I do have to wear more than one layer; I have a shirt under my zipped-up hoodie. I’ve only ever had to wear multiple layers once; it was when we were in Sagada and I had to wear 4 or 5 layers if I didn’t want to shiver to death.

12.] When was the last time you got a takeaway? What did you have? I usually dine in the restaurant altogether or go to the drive-thru, but never takeout. Today, though, I did order a chicken barbecue at Starbucks originally meant to be for dine-in; but I got sad in the middle of my time there so I only had a few bites and brought the rest home. Which I guess technically counts as takeout.

13.] If you could climb any mountain or range which would you chose? Mount Pulag because I’ve heard so much about it and it’d be nice to experience it for myself.

14.] Do you alphabetically arrange anything in your room? What? Nope.

15.] Have you ever visited fat-pie.com? No.

16.] Do you prefer sweet or sour fruits? Sweet.

17.] Do you like Flo Rida? Which song of his? I mean, not really. There are a few songs he’s featured in that I find catchy, like Right Round, but I don’t like like them.

18.] How's your dancing skills? There aren’t any to speak of. 

19.] What is your favorite number? I don’t have any. The idea of favorite numbers personally never made sense to me, but I do recognize that they can mean a lot to some people.

20.] Describe your best friend to me? She’s incredibly smart and creative, very motherly and responsible, and always knows the right questions to ask when her friends are troubled and what advice to give.

21.] What is your favorite alcoholic drink? Peach soju, Long Island Iced Tea, Zombie, and tequila are some of my favorites. I’m generally a fan of cocktails though, and I love it whenever bars have their own lineup because it lets me see how creative they get and because it also allows me to try their own spin on mixed drinks.

22.] Do you do any sports or have you done any sport professionally? I play table tennis, but I never played professionally or had formal training. It was a club I joined in middle school just because Angela dragged me but I ended up enjoying it, so I played and played until I unconsciously got better.

23.] What is your ringtone? Just the default Apple ringtones; I never changed them.

24.] Do you like chili flavored chips/crisps? Sure! Chili peanuts are great, too.

25.] Do you curl or straighten your hair? I don’t do either with my hair unless I’m headed to a special/fancy occasion.

26.] What's the nicest smell of shampoo? We used to have this brand that housed black shampoo and it smelled super elegant and nice, but I have no idea how to describe the scent.

27.] What smell turns you on? How about turns you off? It’s generally a turn-on when people make an effort to smell nice, e.g. applying perfume several times a day. BO and the smell of the sun are my main turn-offs.

28.] Whose your favorite comedian? I’ve only been able to watch a couple of her skits but Sindhu Vee is pretty high up on my list. I’m not really too big on comedians, though.

29.] RnB or Reggae? R&B, by a mile.

30.] What brand of batteries do you usually get? I/We haven’t had to use batteries in such a long time.

31.] Are any of your friends pregnant or have kids? A good number of people from my high school now have kids, but I don’t consider any of them friends.

32.] What is in your medicine cabinet? We don’t have one since no one in the family needs to regularly take meds. We do have a jar in the kitchen for multivitamins that my parents take every night.

33.] What's your favorite aspect of the natural world? The ocean. < I’d say so too. Mountain ranges are also beautiful.

34.] What's your favorite man made thing? Probs the internet.

35.] Can you whistle properly? Yasss.

36.] What song do you think is the most widely heard in the world? Happy Birthday or some Christmas jingle.

37.] Where's the strangest place a fast food restaurant was located? I mean...I think fast food restaurants are ubiquitous by nature, so I’ve never seen one and went, “That’s not supposed to be there,” lol. Whenever I spot a fast food restaurant, I’m usually able to make out the reasoning behind positioning it wherever it happens to be.

38.] What countries surround your country? Or are you not land locked? We’re an archipelago, so. Not land-locked. But the nearest countries are Malaysia, Vietnam, Taiwan, and Indonesia.

39.] Do you own binoculars or nonoculars? What do you use them for? I don’t own either.

40.] Do you ever wish you had a telescope on the roof or attic to stargaze? I have always wanted one, yeah. I’ve always dreamed of placing it in my future living room, though.

41.] What's your favorite chocolate bar? Not a bar, but I like Reese’s peanut butter cups the most.

42.] Do you fall asleep easy in cars? How about planes, trains and boats? Unless I am extremely tired, it’s usually hard for me to fall asleep while in transport.

43.] Would you rather live a year of your life in every major country or stay in the same place you live forever without vacations? The latter sounds like an unfulfilling life to me, to be honest. Like I can’t even take vacations??? As much as I like routine, I do enjoy a bit of spontaneity and I think moving to a new country every year can do that for me.

44.] What will you not tolerate in a person? Someone who will make you feel stupid for asking a question. Also those who always have something mean to say about everyone.

45.] Do you forgive others easier or yourself? Why is this? Forgiving isn’t really in my vocabulary to be honest. Hahaha. I’ve always been more at peace this way.

46.] How was God made, if he exists? Key word here is if, so I’m skipping this question because it’s irrelevant to me.

47.] Have you ever done aqua aerobics or polo? Yeah we had to do a bit of water polo in swimming classes in high school.

48.] What age were you when you learned how to swim? I guess around 2? I have baby photos from when I was that age wherein I was having fun in our old inflatable pool. Swimming came naturally to me and I don’t think I ever had trouble with the water.

49.] What shows or characters scared you as a child? You know how older cartoons only featured the legs of some characters, like the housemaid in Tom & Jerry or the lady from Powerpuff Girls? The uncertainty of those characters always made me feel unsettled as a kid.

50.] Do you stay up all night on New Years Eve/Day or go to bed after 12am? I always go to bed well after 12 AM since my family usually holds a get-together for it.

51.] What's currently in your fridge? Some leftovers, some vegetables, essentials like bread and eggs, some condiments that need to be kept refrigerated.

52.] How about your freezer? Frozen goods like hotdogs and ham.

53.] What could you be doing now that is more productive? I should be working out but I’m skipping it for tonight because I hate Sundays, and I don’t want to make myself more tired than I already am.

54.] Give me some lyrics from the song that's stuck in your head? “Red lights, stop signs, I still see your face in the white cars, front yards...”

55.] What's your favorite type of firework? The grander the design the better for me, tbh.

[a-fritterer]

@mytalkingraccoon ​, I thought I’ll slide it because of the number of questions but ended up doing it anyway 👀 Thank you!!! 🤗🥰gonna tag @literallybina , @purrrrrrr @supergeek1999

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? I think my father said that to me, so of course he meant it.

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now? I’m an aro, dating doesn’t interest me. Also that person would be a child compared to me.

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time? Can’t recall.

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger? I’m quite shy.

5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? I don’t think so.

6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today? no

7. What exactly are you wearing right now? a BBC Sherlock t-shirt and trousers

8. How often do you listen to music? everyday

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more? jeans

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2014? I hate my life before 2014 (not entirely but mostly) and my life started changing after 2014.

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person? social with friends, anti-social with relatives and others.

12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’? does my dad count?

13. What about ‘R’? never kissed anyone other than my family 😶

14. Can you drive a stick shift? I can't drive but want to learn it.

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you? I hate myself so fucking much but I can’t care less about others hating on me. 

16. Are you going out of town soon? No

17. When was the last time you cried? Just now. Demons from my past paid me a visit uwu and my life is shit rn.

18. Have you ever told someone you loved them? told my friends

19. If you could change your eye color, would you? I’ve black eyes which feels mundane. I wish  I had eyes like Benedict Cumberbatch.

20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for? for some friends’ I think.

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having. Not being enough productive and being caught up in misunderstanding and unnecessary drama.

22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead? How can I know? 👀

23. Are you dating the last person you talked to? I never dated anyone

24. What are you sitting on right now? my bed

25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you? no

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have? BTS Ot7 and Benedict Cumberbatch

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night? a friend, on facebook

28. Do you get a lot of colds? I’ve sinusities so yeah

29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from? an online shop run by a batchmate of mine

30. Does anyone hate you? May be. My brain says that I’m someone to be hated

31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room? I never drink

32. Do you like watching scary movies? I’m a horror junkie

33. Do you want your tongue pierced? nooooooo

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be? I think this one

35. Did you have a dream last night? I forgot already

36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them? can’t really recall

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years? I don’t want to be married in my life

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you? I don’t think so

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? nah

40. Did you have a good day yesterday? nope

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship? no

42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl? no

43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you? yes

44. What’s the best part about school? nothing. my school life pretty much sucked and I hate that version of me who went to school.

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook? I do

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school? that was a long time ago, can’t recall.

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head? all the fucking time

48. Were you single over the last summer? I’m forever happily single 🥰

49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago? nope

50. What are you supposed to be doing right now? go to sleep

51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with? nope. He’s a really good friend of mine.

52. Are you nice to everyone? I try to be. 

53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? not romantically but yes

54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat? I don’t want to be in one in the first place.

55. Are you good at hiding your feelings? sometimes

56. Do you think you like someone? nope

57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’? never

58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys? Boys. I find them cool to talk with.

59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry? yes

60. Do you hate anyone? only myself and myself only

61. How’s your heart? morbidly fine

62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? yes

63. Have you ever cried over a guy? never

64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now? Really don’t know

65. Are your toenails painted pink? i don’t use nailpolish

66. Will your next kiss be a mistake? not interested in kissing anyone

67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct? I have no idea

68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public? nope

69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with? a friend of mine

70. How do you look right now? ugly

71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around? yes

72. Can you commit to one person? i feel suffocated to imagine it even

73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? no

74. Have you ever felt replaced? yes

75. Did you wake up cranky? no

76. Are you a jealous person? no

77. Are relationships ever worth it? i don’t know cause i have no experience

78. Anyone you’re giving up on? no

79. Currently wanting to see anyone? no

80. Name something you have to do tomorrow? help my mom to learn how to use the new electric oven

81. Last person you cried in front of? mom

82. Is there someone you will never forget? quite a few

83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you? I’ve no feelings for anybody 😅

84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now? Yoongi?  I’d faint 

85. Are you over your past? i think i can never 🙃

86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex? never.

87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to? no

88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept? i never had anyone like that

89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in? when i was a child i kissed my parents and that’s it 😶that was more than 16 years ago lol

90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? no

91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months? never 😂😂😂

92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael? in my country there’s no chance to meet someone named like that

93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew? never 👀

94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going? I was in a dark place in January 🖕

95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March? I didn’t like anybody in March

96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive? she’s beautiful

97. Who do you have texts from? mobile operator, banks and some friends

98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? 🤷‍♀️

99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you? i never kissed anyone lol

100. Who’s in your profile picture with you? my profile picture is Min Yoonji 

101. Ever kissed under fireworks? never even if I’d the chance

102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies? honestly can’t remember

[lovemesomesurveys]

1. have you ever gotten soap in your mouth for cursing? do you think that’s right to do to kids who curse?: Nope. I didn’t say any curse words as a kid for one, but also I’m pretty sure my parents wouldn’t have done that if I did. They would have just talked to me about it and tell me not to say them. I personally don’t like the soap punishment, I think it’s dumb. I’ve heard of some parents who use hot sauce instead, which is just horrible. I understand if you don’t want your kid to curse, but you don’t have to torture them. Just talk with them and explain why it’s not nice to say and that kids shouldn’t speak that way or whatever. Don’t make too big a deal about it. Try not to curse around them either, that’s where they likely hear it and you can be an example for them. If talking doesn’t work then take something away like a toy or some computer time or whatever. I think it’s also important to reward kids when they’re behaving, even just acknowledging it. That can go a long way.

2. what age do you think is appropriate for kids to start watching horror movies with lots of gore?: Well, I personally don’t think kids should watch that at all. I’d say wait until they’re in high school. 

3. do you know what the word “polyamorous” means? and did you ever hear that song by breaking benjamin?: Yes I know what it means, no I haven’t heard that particular song by them.

4. how many bug bites do you currently have?:  Zero.

5. what’s one word you always have trouble spelling and can’t remember the correct spelling of?: Whenever a question like this comes up, “onomatopoeia” always comes to mind. That’s a word I never use except for these questions haha, but yeah I can never seem to remember the spelling, I have to Google it each time.

6. what’s one band that really sucks live?: I’ve never seen a bad live performance, but I’ve heard things about some bands that I haven’t seen, such as Maroon 5. I’ve heard they’re pretty bad. :X

7. do you go to warped tour? why or why not?:  I’ve never been.

8. do you have any wind chimes outside your house? how many?: Yes, a couple. 

9. do you know someone who actually had someone give them a bouquet of real roses and one fake one, and tell them they’ll love them until the last one dies?:  I’ve never heard of that lol but awww how corny and sweet.

10. which do you like better, firefox or internet explorer?: Firefox out of the two, but I use Chrome.

11. who is the most attractive person on your street?: I haven’t seen all my neighbors, but I don’t find the few I have seen attractive. 

12. do you have a flat stomach? would you ever wear a belly shirt to show it off?:  I have a flat stomach, but noooo you’ll never see me in a crop top. I’m waaaaay too self-conscious for that.

13. which do you prefer on yourself, long or short hair?: Long, which is what I have, but it takes more energy and maintenance than I can give right now and I should just cut it short again. :/ I just can’t bring myself to do it for some reason, though.

14. what about on your preferred sex? long or short?:  Short.

15. with eyebrow piercings, do you prefer the ring or the curved barbell?:  I don’t care for eyebrow piercings, personally.

16. have you ever pierced something yourself? why and what was it?: Nooooo. I would never. I’m terrified of needles and don’t do well at all when getting blood work done, and that’s by professionals. I could never attempt to pierce myself with no experience at all. I’d also be scared of doing something wrong or causing an infection.

17. would you date someone who was five years older than you?:  Maybe. I think that’s the oldest I would go.

18. i heard of a girl whose boyfriend cheated on her with a 13yearold (he’s 18) and got her pregnant, so she left him. what would you have done if you were in her situation?:  Omg. I’d have left him, too, but I also would have reported him.

19. how old was the youngest person you ever found attractive? and how old were you?:  Just a year younger than me.

20. isn’t it annoying when you’re trying to start conversation with someone and all they say is “yup” or “really now” or something like that?: Ugh, yes. If they’re clearly not into it or they’e distracted then forget it, what’s the point? I can’t keep a conversation going if the other person isn’t putting anything into it nor would I want to even try.

21. if you have aim, do you have any linked screen names? how many?: AIM died.

22. which of your favorite bands released a new album last?: Hmm. I’m blanking at the moment.

23. are you waiting for any bands to release new albums? which ones?:  Not in particular, but I’m always down for new music.

24. what’s your favorite store for buying cds and such at?:  I haven’t bought a CD since like 2011. I usually just went to like Walmart or Target. I also bought a few CDs from a place that sold old records/albums/cassettes, though. That’s also the place I sold all my CDs to.

25. what’s the point in buying dvds like “girls gone wild” and other porn if you can get tons more online for free?: I don’t know, ask someone who watches porn. 26. if you had to have one drug (illegal ones, like marijuana and cocaine and all of them) right now, what would it be?: Marijuana is legal here, but that’s the only drug I would do.

27. would you ever get a sleeve or a half sleeve on your arm (we’re talking about tattoos)?:  No. I only want one little one.

28. do you have a wireless mouse and/or keyboard?: I have a laptop, so it has a built-in trackpad and keyboard. 

29. do you think your biological parents love each other?: Yes.

30. do you have callouses on your feet?:  No.

31. did you see the commercial for that “foot grater” on tv that basically shaves the callouses off of your feet? isn’t that nasty to think about?: Gahhh, yes. 🤢 It was so gross.

31. what’s your favorite color combination (ex. pink and purple)?: I love pastel colors together.

32. ever been to watchmovies.net? what do you think of the quality of the movies there?:  Yeah, back in the day. I totally forgot about that. The quality wasn’t too, too bad on the ones I saw.

33. what’s one movie you’re dying to see but haven’t had the chance to see yet?: There’s a few movies that were supposed to come out this year that I wanted to see, but that’s obviously not going to happen. 34. would you rather live alone in a huge mansion or alone in a small studio apartment?: I don’t want to live alone at all, but if I had to choose I’d definitely choose the small studio apartment. I wouldn’t want to live in some huge house by myself. That would make me a lot more anxious and uncomfortable. I don’t even want a big house like that for my family and I, it’s just so unnecessary. We’d only need a house big enough for 4 adults and a doggo to live in. 

35. if you came across child porn on your computer, what would you do?:  Omg, that would mean I was hacked somehow. I’d be disgusted and horrified and try to get rid of it as quickly as possible. Are you supposed to report that kind of thing? I would think so, so that it could be taken down and hopefully catch whoever distributed it.

36. what’s the last computer game you played?: The Sims 4. It’s been a couple years, though. I get urges to play, but I’m too lazy.

37. what’s the name of the street you live on?: I’m definitely not sharing that.

38. would you ever dye your entire head blonde?:  No.

39. what’s the randomest thing you ever heard of someone collecting?:  *shrug* I have a rock collection, so who am I to judge. lol.

40. how often do you use “<3” or “:]”?: I don’t use :], I use :) Anyway, I don’t use emojis or smiley faces super often, but sometimes when I feel they’re fitting. I know some people who get a little carried with them.

41. isn’t it annoying how people walk around thinking hollister logo tshirts and ripped jeans are preppy, even though those things would never be allowed in a prepatory school because of the dress code?: >> *stares blankly in “I don’t care”* <<< Hahaha, for real. 

42. how do you feel about abortion?:

43. what’s one thing your grandmother does that you can’t stand?:  She doesn’t do anything that I can’t stand. My grandmothers were/are (my maternal grandmother sadly passed away 15 years ago) sweet, loving, and adorable. haha.

44. did you ever notice how it’s more tragic if a younger person dies than an older person, even if they both died of the same cause?:  Loss of my grandparents was heartbreaking for me, I had a really hard time with their loss. Them being older didn’t make it any easier. I think why people find it even more devastating when a child dies is because they were so young and hadn’t even had a chance, yet, like their life had just begun. There was so much still to experience. They should have had a lot more time. Even a young adult because it’s like their life is also kind of just beginning in a way, perhaps they just started or finished college, were about to start a new job, or were about to get married and start a family. They, too, have so much still to experience and should have had more time. But still, losing someone who is older is still just as sad. I think some people just can sometimes find a little comfort in the fact that they had lived a long life and got to experience a lot. 

45. when’s the last time you snuck around, and where did you go?: I don’t have to sneak around. Never have.

46. how often do you wash your hair?: Every couple days.

47. do you think the price for a movie ticket is too high these days?: Well, these days movie theaters aren’t even open. However, I don’t think it’s the movie ticket price that’s too high, it’s getting stuff at the concession stand that racks it up. The food and drinks are ridiculously overpriced. I just have to get some popcorn, though. I miss movie theater popcorn with salt and lots of butter.  48. have you ever been to a drive-in movie theater?:  Yeah, a few times as a kid. Actually, the last time I went was to see the Willy Wonka movie with Johnny Depp when it came out. I wish they still had drive in theaters where I live. I think they should make a big comeback, I mean that’s perfect for social distancing. We can stay in our own cars, closed off from others, but still enjoy movies on the big screen.

49. what’s your favorite musical?:  Sweeney Todd (the one with Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter). 

50. what do you think of dr. seuss?: I was a fan as a kid, I loved his books. They’re classics. I actually have a Star-belly Sneetch stuffed animal, which is a character from his book, The Sneetches. 

[binkysteebnpewter]

All of them 😤

Ehehe 😂💗

1. What’s your middle name, and do you like it?

Grace is actually my middle name, and somewhat. I just don’t like it when my family calls me by first and middle together.

2. are you artistic?

Somewhat?

3. Have you had your first kiss?

Yes

4. What is your life goal?

It’s cheesy and a little cliche, but I want to find Home.

5. Do you have any experiences with a famous person?

Nope

6. Do you play any sports?

Not anymore but I used to play football and I was on the wrestling team in HS

7. What’s your worst fear?

I have two that are sort of equal with another but I’m afraid of losing the people I care about and people seeing me the way I see myself.

8. Who’s your biggest inspiration?

My late Nana, Gloria.

9. Do you have any cool talents?

Answered in previous ask

10. are you a morning person?

Not at all

11. How do you feel about pet names?

I love them

12. Do you like to read?

Absolutely

13. Name a list of shows that have changed your life.

NCIS, Criminal Minds, and any marvel movie

14. Do you care about your follower count?

Not really, I’ll celebrate milestones but that’s just to show everyone I appreciate them following my trash pile. I didn’t start writing to have a high following, I started writing to better my skill and also make people happy.

15. What’s the best dream you’ve had?

I don’t remember most of my happy dreams

16. Have you ever kissed someone of your same gender?

Yep!

17. Do you have any pets?

I have three dogs 🥺💗

18. Are you religious?

No. They only thing I actually believe in is ghosts.

19. Are you a people person?

Not really

20. Are you considered popular?

Nope, and I don’t care to be

21. What is one of your bad habits?

Overthinking

22. What’s something that makes you feel vulnerable?

Opening up my emotions to other people

23. What would you name your children?

No clue

24. Who’s your celebrity crush?

There’s a bunch ig

25. What’s your best subject?

Science and history

26. Dogs or cats?

Dogs, I love cats but I’m super allergic

27. most used social media besides tumblr?

I don’t use a lot of social media tbh, so tumblr is probably my most used unless you count youtube

28. best friends name

Duke

29. who does your main family consist of

My friends and my brother. Family isn’t just blood

30. Chocolate or sugar

Both

31. have you ever been on a date?

Yep

32. Do you like rollercosters?

Absolutely love them

33. Can you swim?

Yes 💗

34. What would you do in the event of an apocolypse?

Clearly, I’d do what everyone else does. Panic and try to survive.

35. Have you struggled with any kind of mental disorder?

Yes, I struggle with anxiety and depression

36. Are your parents together?

Nope.

37. What’s your favourite colour?

Dark green and Dark Blue

38. What country are you from/do you live in?

Unfortunately, the U.S

39. Favourite singer?

Uh... there’s too many to list? But my favorite people to listen to is The Oh Hellos

40. Do you see yourself being famous some day?

Nope, I run from being the center of attention.

41. Do you like dresses?

Not really

42. Favourite song right now?

Fly Me To The Moon by Frank Sinatra

43. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Sort of.

44. How old were you when you first got your period?

No clue, I don’t remember

45. Have you ever shot a gun?

Yep

46. Have you ever done yoga?

No

47. Are you a horror girl?

YES 😈

48. Are you good at giving advice?

I suppose I am?

49. Tell us a story about your childhood.

I don’t have a lot of happy memories but one that sticks out is: I used to go to a private Christian academy and I was in first grade when this boy in eighth grade (the entire school was k-12) came over to me during my lunch. I was super scared and shy as a kid so my schedule was tailored so I was able to eat lunch with my brother whose nine years older than me. Our mom forgot to pack our lunches so we were gonna just get some stuff from the vending machine, well my brother gave me my money to get something and this boy came over to me before I could put it in the vending machine. He hit me and took my money, buying himself something with it. My brother seen it and got into a fight with him.

50. How are you doing today?

Eh

51. Were you a cute kid?

I looked like Shirley Temple when I was a kid

52. Can you dance?

I can swing dance and slow dance, but that’s it.

53. Is there anything you do that you can’t remember ever not doing?

I always look for exits and bathrooms when I go somewhere, I’ve always done it 🤷🏻‍♀️

54. Have you ever dyed your hair?

No because I’m a ginger. I can’t just dye it back if I end up not liking the color I dyed it to.

55. What colour are your eyes?

Brown

56. What’s your favourite animal?

Answered in previous ask

57. Have you ever made a huge fool of yourself?

Multiple times

58. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

My relationship with my dad is rocky but my relationship with my mother went up in flames a few yeaes ago 🤷🏻‍♀️

59. Do you have good friends?

I have some amazing friends🥺💗

60. Are you close with anyone of the lgbtq+ group?

Yep!

61. What’s your favourite class?

My favorite class was Psychology

62. List all the tv shows you are watching.

I’m rewatching Criminal Minds right now.

63. Are you organized?

Somewhat?

64. What was the last movie you saw? Opinion?

I don’t know if it counts as a movie but I just finished a Ted Bundy Tapes Documentary. I think Bundy was a little bit of an idiot.

67. Which tv character do you relate to most?

Spencer Reid

68. What are some things that stand between you and complete happiness?

Anxiety, Depression, overthinking

69. If you received enough money to never need to work again, what would you spend your time doing?

I would probably still work, I’m not a fan of sitting around and doing nothing for large amounts of time.

70. What would you change about your life if you knew you would never die?

Find a way to die, I don’t want to live forever. That’s just torture 👀

71. What would you do differently if you knew that no one was judging you?

Nothing. I’ll act the same as I always have because I am who I am, there’s no reason to change yourself from when someone is watching and when someone isn’t.

72. If you could start over, what would you do differently?

A lot 😂

73. Would you break the law to save a loved one?

Yep

74. When was the last time you travelled somewhere new?

I went to Disney with my Chorus Class in Junior Year of HS, it was my first time to Disney.

75. When you think of your home, what immediately comes to mind?

Nothing, I’m looking for Home. Home will be someone I feel safe with, someone I can be completely myself with— someone I love wholly.

76. What have you done to pursue your dreams lately? How about today?

I— idk?

77. What did you want to be when you were a kid?

I wanted to be a nurse 🤦🏻‍♀️

78. If you dropped everything to pursue your dreams, what would you be risking?

Im not sure

79. When did you not speak up, when you know you really should have?

Ooh... uh, something happened to me all through 7th, 8th, and 9th grade that I should’ve spoken up about but was too scared.

80. Describe the next five years of your life, and your plans, in a single sentence.

I will work hard to love myself and pursue my dream job.

81. What would happen if you never wasted another minute of your life, what would that look like?

No clue tbh

82. If you could live forever, how would you spend eternity?

I don’t want to live forever but I guess I’d find a way to take away my immortality or find someone else who is immortal to love

83. How would you spend a billion dollars?

Id put a lot into important causes and then save some with interest.

84. If you could time travel, would you go to the past or the future?

I’m not sure, I think I wouldn’t go anywhere because I want to live in the moment. Except 2020, fuck 2020.

85. What motivates you to succeed?

Failure motivates me to succeed.

86. What dream that you’ve had has resonated with you the most?

I don’t remember most of my happy dream, I usually can only remember the nightmares 🤷🏻‍♀️

87. Would you rather live in the city or the woods? Why?

Woods, its peaceful.

88. Do you believe in life after death?

I don’t really believe in anything 🤷🏻‍♀️

89. What teacher inspired you the most? How did they?

I had a teacher named Ms Eagan and she inspired me to always be myself.

90. What’s your fondest childhood memory?

Meeting Lily

91. If you could have dinner with any one person, living or dead, who would they be and why?

Lily, because I really miss her.

92. What would you have to see to cry tears of joy?

Anyone being nice to me makes me cry—

93. What is the hardest lesson you had to learn in life?

Sometimes the people you call family don’t truly love you.

94. What do you think happens after we die?

Idk and idrc either tbh

95. What would you do if you would be invisible?

I’d probably scare some people

96. What’s something you can’t do no matter how hard you try?

Speak in public or ask for something at restaurants

97. Would you want to choose the sex and appearance of your offspring?

Eh

98. How did your first crush develop?

They were nice to me when no one else was

99. Is there a feeling you are trying to ignore? What is it?

Yes, I’m trying to ignore how upset some people can really make me.

100. Do you live or do you just exist?

I think I’m somewhere in between, where sometimes I’m just existing and sometimes I’m living.

[alonely-dreamer]

Dangerous Creatures | Chapter 23: The Holy Forest - Part 2: Heidi Beauregard

Summary: Mackenzie Alemaund is an unlucky 18 year old teenager whose life changes drastically after she gets kidnapped by two vampires and learns, in the same day, that she is not human.

Pairing: Elijah x OC

Words: 1723

A/N: Please, note that I am French so there might be some mistakes here and there, besides I couldn’t have it edited! I hope you’ll like it!

Masterlist

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 15 | Chapter 16 | Chapter 17 | Chapter 18 | Chapter 19 | Chapter 20 | Chapter 21 | Chapter 22 | Chapter 23: Part 1

The weather inside the Forest was identical to the one of the open world. As cold and as humid, as grey and as depressing.

Heidi was sitting on the passenger seat of Alex’ black Mercedes, her partner at her side, his hands on the wheel, an original vampire behind him and an ultimate behind her. The witch’s eyes fell on the mirror outside her window and she caught a glimpse of her goddaughter. The elemental was half asleep, her head resting on the vampire’s shoulder. The silence and the steady road had allowed her to fall asleep as her unexpected fear of flying had kept her wide awake on the plane. No one would dare wake her now.

As they drove past the black iron gates, the red brick wall appeared in the mirror and Heidi knew she was home. The city had an old aura, she recognized it easily. She watched the old houses and the old buildings as Alex drove past them slowly. The street was narrow and there was just enough space for the car to drive through it.

Elijah watched the houses too, with a sad nostalgia, thinking back to the time of black houses and buildings made of wood, back when he was still by Niklaus’ side. He recognized the different architecture styles, the oldest one from five centuries ago. The city was a mixed of old and new, but even the old didn’t seem affected by time. The wood and the bricks seemed new, as if it had just been built. The vampire caught a glimpse of what was inside the businesses: a coffee shop, a restaurant, a library… What he saw inside surprised him. It wasn’t what one would expect when they saw the buildings from outside. It wasn’t any different from any coffee shops in cities like Berlin, Paris or even New-York. It was the same with the people walking the streets. Dressed in different fashions, like Heidi and Alexander, some obviously had preferred to keep the clothes from their century, but their corsets didn’t stop the women to use smartphones, nor did their top hats stop the men from doing the same. It was a sight to behold, and Elijah knew he still had a lot to discover.

Heidi knew the Forest perfectly well. She knew every secret it held, every person it hosted, everything and anything, just like Margo did, just like Alex would if he paid attention to this sort of things. She knew that Margo would make them wait before she received the four of them in the throne room. She knew she would judge their clothes, the way they stood on their feet, their every word. She knew the questions she was going to ask. And Heidi was arrogant enough to think she already knew the answers.

She had spent the last four hundred years there, with Margo. The last two with Alexander. She had made herself one of the most powerful witches on Earth. Not more powerful than Margo, certainly not stronger than Pandora or Ambrosia, though she doubted anyone was more powerful than the two sisters. They were older than the Mikaelsons. Probably the eldest people alive. Former slaves in Athens, back when democracy was the norm but slavery, ironically, was too, they had been rescued by witches and had been empowered by their rage and their want for revenge. But now, over two thousand years later, maybe they were tired of people, maybe they were simply tired of life, as they always retreated in a secret place, disappeared for years, even centuries, only to be summoned by people they trusted, people powerful enough to summon them, when they had no other solution to their problems. Heidi was one of those people. As was Margo.

Heidi had gotten strong the same way. Empowered by rage and the want for revenge, after her village burnt her mother alive for being a witch. Marguerite, her mother, accused of using witchcraft to seduce Jean, the lawyer’s son, Heidi’s father, didn’t even get any chance to defend herself as the villagers got the rope and the pitchforks and the torches and through her in the pyre, way too happy to kill a witch, to kill the woman that had been a sister to them, a midwife to their wives, a doctor to their children. So Heidi did the same thing to them. She burnt them all alive as well, one night, exactly a month after her mother’s death. She burnt their houses while they were sleeping, burnt her “friends”, their parents and their children. The lawyer’s son and his entire family. Every single one of them. Even the church and the school and the house where they kept the sick and injured. She ignited the flames with a smile and witnessed them die with a laugh.

She didn’t flee France like Margo fled Spain. She left it behind, left everything behind, knowing if she crossed the path of other superstitious little bastards she would do the same thing to them. She got to Germany, found the Forest, found Margo, and she had stayed there, where no one would even think about burning a witch, where she wouldn’t cross the path of superstitious little bastards.

Two centuries in the Forest, a life of her own, settled comfortably in the castle, with more power than she needed, she met Alexander, who too had left everything behind and found the Forest. He was a little bastard but at least he wasn’t superstitious. And he made her smile. And he made her laugh. And she was in love with him, so in love in fact that after only a year later, she asked herself how, how did she ever live without him?

The car stopped in front of the castle, two guards posted on each side of the huge opened front door, a page ready to open the car doors and another ready to take their luggage from the trunk. The page bowed to her as she exited the vehicle and he was almost hit by Mackenzie’s door as she opened it. Elijah was by her side in a flash, helping her out of the car. She looked awful, obviously exhausted, and maybe a little hungry. If not starving.

“Lady Beauregard,” the page greeted. “Welcome back. Her Majesty will see you in an hour.”

Heidi didn’t bother with a reply and it’s Alexander who thanked the servant and dismissed him. She looked up to the sky, her eyes slowly travelling on the castle’s façade. The white stones looked like marble and she knew it would be cold inside. She shivered already at the thought of entering her home. She followed Alexander inside, walked between two columns with Mackenzie and Elijah by her side before stepping in the hall.

Nothing had changed. The carpet was still red, covering the white marble floor that they had renovated a century earlier. The guards were still wearing the same uniform, posted at the same place, holding the same weapons. The servants walked around silently, stopped to bow to them before resuming their task.

“I’m going to change,” she informed them, without looking at any of her travelling companions before walking away.

Mackenzie and Elijah watched her leave, and their attention was called away from the witch’s back as their heard Alexander chuckle.

“I think she hates this place, but she’ll never admit it. Probably because she doesn’t know it.”

“Is she okay?”

“She’ll be fine,” he nodded. “She’s impatient, she hasn’t talked to Margo in months.”

“Are they close?” Elijah asked.

“They’re best friends.”

“You are nobility here?”

“If you can call us that,” he shrugged. “Sure, I guess. So are you, by the way,” he winked at Mackenzie.

The elemental, who just wanted to find a bed and slid under the covers, didn’t realize he was being serious and chuckled at his joke.

“Don’t laugh, Lady Alemaund,” he mocked. “You might just be the most powerful creature here.”

“Don’t remind me,” she sighed, which made Elijah smile.

“I don’t think anyone is going to let you forget it.”

“Sir Davidson,” a page interrupted them. “The rooms are ready. A package is waiting for Lady Alemaund in her chambers.”

“Is it as we asked?”

“Yes, sir, they are in neighboring rooms. In the main wing.”

“Then I’ll show them myself, thank you.”

The page bowed again before walking away without saying another word.

“We were afraid they’d send you off to the guest wing,” the heretic told the original vampire, “we made sure you weren’t too far away from each other.”

“I appreciate that,” Elijah nodded.

“We just got here. Who sent me a package?”

Alexander chuckled. “The queen, silly. It’s probably a dress, or a crown… or both,” he grinned mischievously.

“I… Am I… expected to wear a crown?” she stuttered.

“I’m kidding,” he laughed. “A crown is given in a coronation. You haven’t had one of those… yet.”

“Stop it!” she told him as she slapped his arm, making him step back with a laugh.

“Alright, alright,” he said. “Let’s go then. We can’t be late.”

“What should we expect from…” Elijah paused, looking for the right word, “Her Majesty?”

“Margo’s not a tyrant. You can expect her to be as friendly as Heidi,” he shrugged. “She’ll be asking you questions, and she’ll be expecting answers. Don’t lie to her, she’ll know. Be respectful, of course, she’s a queen, she expects to be treated like one. But why don’t you just see for yourself, uh?”

“I’ve met less reasonable queens,” Elijah told him. “But none as powerful as her, I expect.”

“You’re right about that, friend,” Alex said as he put his hand on Elijah’s shoulder.

The original vampire let the heretic tap his shoulder in silence, then watched him walk away from them, following Heidi’s footsteps. He looked down at the elemental who was repressing an amused smile. He raised an eyebrow at her, which made her laugh.

“Look at you,” she said. “You made a new friend.”

“Did I?”

“You two are going to get plenty of time alone later,” Alex called from the hallway, “come on!”

“Come on,” she repeated with a grin.

He smiled back at her as he stepped forward, took her hand in his and let her drag him to her godfather.

**********

Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it!!

Tags: @thepoet1975 @nerdysandwichqueen @catchmeupimgettingoutofhere @raegan-hale @captainam-erika-trash @silver424 @monetfatalia @vaniileiinkeks @valeria-winchester @favimag @colie87 @hamiltonmadesomemistakes @s0nh4dorasblog @poemfreak306 @white-chocolate-mocha-fan @thegingerthatwaited @therealwatermelon @dark-night-sky-99@aubri1313 @jardinsecos @gymnastgal1997-blog @thearaviagrace77blog @caelst13​ @casedoina

[silencedrage]

Because me and @ofvalor were talking about things:

Starting in the summer after her 5th year ( after the Ministry Battle ), Hermione begins to delve deeper into dark magic and the Dark Arts as a discipline. She knew from the moment that Voldemort came back, that they would eventually have to fight fire with fire, and bless Ron and Harry, but they have absolutely no aptitude for research.

She starts with the books they confiscated from the Black family library. Molly Weasley didn’t turned away any help when they tried to make Grimmauld Place habitable, and Hermione used that time to secret away some books with interesting titles ( and/or properties ). They live in a box under her bed at home, spelled with anti-Muggle detection charms so her parents don’t accidentally open them up, forgotten until she returns, bruised and battered and feeling much older than she had when she left for the school year.

A perk of being one of the ‘brightest witches of her age’ is that few people blink twice when she has questions. Perhaps when she was younger, her precociousness and tenacity in chasing after answers made people realize that handing her a book was far easier and less time-consuming than answering all of her questions. The habit persists even now, and it only takes a quick bit of flattery and a smuggled out steak and kidney pie to get Madam Pince to let her into the Restricted Section. “For a class project, of course.” Complete with a letter signed by Professor Binns, well, a very good forgery of his signature anyways. 

But one doesn’t steep themselves in darkness without blurring those edges of dark and light. The things that seemed so defined and clear-cut before start to fade into shades of gray. She sees it in her actions, in the way she confounds Cormac McLaggen at the Quidditch tryouts for Ron. But perhaps that darkness has always been a part of her. ( She did set Snape on fire her first year. ) Many nights are spent with the curtains drawn around her four-poster bed, reading over forbidden books while she should have been sleeping. Searching for any mention of Horcruxes or soul splitting or any of the things Harry tells her. 

She looks for the things he doesn’t tell her about too. Things that aren’t pressing at the moment, but could be. Curses that make her stomach turn and hexes whose effects seem worse than death. She studies lycanthropy and how it infects the body, and the known ways to kill a vampire. Her arsenal fills with deadly spells and underhanded strategies, the gears in her brain spinning at full speed so she can make sure that they all make it out alive. She knows they probably won’t, that there will most definitely be casualties, but Hermione has to do everything she possibly can to try. 

As she prepares and trains, the image of her 7th year slowly shifts. No longer does it feature a shiny Head Girl badge, and the scent of fresh parchment. It becomes a gray-green forest, endlessly trudging and hiding and running in circles as three teenagers try to save the world. And at the center of it all is a locket, burning into her chest and whispering reminders of all the dark things she has read and absorbed over the last several years. It stokes the flames of malcontent, making her irritable and snappy and feeling taken for granted. She feels as though the darkness is swallowing her whole, and yet Ron and Harry can’t stop bickering long enough to notice. They simply rely on her to save the day and take credi- No.

She beats back the darkness, and it recedes almost completely when one of the boys finally notices her sullen mood and takes the locket from her. But then Ron leaves and the rests aren’t as restful anymore. It almost becomes a comfort to have that darkness in the back of her head, vindicating her hurt and feelings of betrayal, though she never brings it up to Harry. Her best friend has plenty to worry about without her adding to the mix. 

But Ron comes back and the locket is destroyed, and part of her is sad to feel it go. Still, the trio is whole once more, and Hermione takes solace in that. It’s almost enough to make her forget the grim world they are in. That changes once the Snatchers come, and her brain muddles through the entire ordeal at Malfoy Manor, an apparent attempt to protect her, but it fuels the darkness that had been simmering deep inside. The war is coming to a head and Hermione is so tired of running and fighting. 

At the Battle of Hogwarts, she doesn’t hold back. She disables more than a few Death Eaters, and kills many more. The girl she was at 11, when she first walked through these halls, would be appalled at her, but 17 year old Hermione has been touched by war and darkness and knows that the only way to fight back sometimes is with fire. She fires off a trip jinx quickly followed up with a bone breaking curse and relishes briefly in the screams of the Death Eater whose spine she shatters before moving onto the next. 

For years after the Battle, Hermione wakes in a cold sweat as her nightmares remind of the way she had embraced that Darkness. Whether it was for a good reason or not, there is still blood on her hands, and more than there needed to be. And the darkness never fully goes away. It lingers on the edge of her vision, when she wants to throw a pen ( yes a pen, and not a bloody quill ) at a politician’s face because he thinks her a young foolish girl. It lives in the shadows, and sometimes it erupts as well. When she is standing on the floor of the Wizengamot and feels like the same girl scolded for being a know it all by Snape at 13 instead of the Minister for Magic and the most powerful woman in Wizarding Britain. 

She lets it wrap around her like a glove in those moments, giving her the steel and might necessary to shove legislation through despite the sneers of men past their prime. It gives her the insight, the ability to see all of the angles and not just the ones that make the optics good. But she uses it sparingly, only when it is necessary. At least that’s what she keeps telling herself.

[eldritchsurveys]

862.

1. have you ever gotten soap in your mouth for cursing? do you think that’s right to do to kids who curse?: >> I did get soap in my mouth, but not for cursing; for “talking back” or being “fresh”, mostly. I was (understandably...) too afraid to do anything as brash as curse. I don’t think it’s an appropriate disciplinary measure at all, unless your mission is to confuse and frighten your child into obedience... which, apparently, is a lot of parents’ ultimate goal, it seems.

2. what age do you think is appropriate for kids to start watching horror movies with lots of gore?: >> I really don’t have a solid opinion about this. I tend to skew a little unorthodox on this front, which is probably best left unexplored (fortunately, this is all hypothetical and I’ll never have to address this situation in real life).

3. do you know what the word “polyamorous” means? and did you ever hear that song by breaking benjamin?: >> I know what it means, and I do remember the Breaking Benjamin song.

4. how many bug bites do you currently have?: >> Zero.

5. what’s one word you always have trouble spelling and can’t remember the correct spelling of?: >> I don’t think there’s any word like that. Spelling and phonics is one of my few strong suits.

6. what’s one band that really sucks live?: >> I don’t know, I haven’t seen any that I thought sucked performance-wise (I have seen a few whose music I just didn’t care for, like some opening acts, but that has nothing to do with the quality of their performance).

7. do you go to warped tour? why or why not?: >> I have never been to Warped Tour. I just never got an opportunity to go, or I was never interested, or whatever.

8. do you have any wind chimes outside your house? how many?: >> No. Some neighbours have them, I think.

9. do you know someone who actually had someone give them a bouquet of real roses and one fake one, and tell them they’ll love them until the last one dies?: >> I’ve never even heard of that.

10. which do you like better, firefox or internet explorer?: >> Firefox.

11. who is the most attractive person on your street?: >> ---

12. do you have a flat stomach? would you ever wear a belly shirt to show it off?: >> I no longer have a flat stomach, and you wouldn’t catch me dead in a crop top.

13. which do you prefer on yourself, long or short hair?: >> I like how I look with long hair, but I prefer the low maintenance of short hair. So, I buzz my head, and I wear wigs when I feel like it. Best of both worlds.

14. what about on your preferred sex? long or short?: >> ---

15. with eyebrow piercings, do you prefer the ring or the curved barbell?: >> I have no opinion.

16. have you ever pierced something yourself? why and what was it?: >> Yeah, I pierced my ears a few times. I did it because I wanted to? And also because I couldn’t afford to have them professionally done. I also did it when I was 16 because my father wouldn’t let me get a cartilage piercing, so I pierced my own ear at work one day. (My father eventually noticed because I put the most ridiculously obvious jewelry in it... hold on, I’m going to find a photo of what I’m talking about because like... what did I expect to happen)

looked something like that. I straight up deserved to get caught.

17. would you date someone who was five years older than you?: >> I don’t date, but that wouldn’t be a dealbreaker if I did.

18. i heard of a girl whose boyfriend cheated on her with a 13yearold (he’s 18) and got her pregnant, so she left him. what would you have done if you were in her situation?: >> I... just can’t imagine being in this situation, sorry.

19. how old was the youngest person you ever found attractive? and how old were you?: >> Oh, I don’t know. Probably not much younger than myself; my tastes always skewed older (oftentimes much older).

20. isn’t it annoying when you’re trying to start conversation with someone and all they say is “yup” or “really now” or something like that?: >> Not necessarily, unless they’re usually much more exuberant and participatory than that. Then I’d wonder if something was wrong (and if it was my fault).

21. if you have aim, do you have any linked screen names? how many?: >> ---

22. which of your favorite bands released a new album last?: >> I’m not sure.

23. are you waiting for any bands to release new albums? which ones?: >> No.

24. what’s your favorite store for buying cds and such at?: >> Back in the day when that was my primary mode of listening to music, my favourite music stores were Virgin Megastore and Tower Records. Ah, nostalgia.

25. what’s the point in buying dvds like “girls gone wild” and other porn if you can get tons more online for free?: >> Well, people generally do watch more porn online nowadays, I think. But the benefit of having a DVD is that... you never have to worry about the video being taken down, and you always have it available (so, even if you don’t have internet connection, etc). It’s the same argument for having paper books or movies/shows on DVD, really.

26. if you had to have one drug (illegal ones, like marijuana and cocaine and all of them) right now, what would it be?: >> Well, marijuana is technically legal here (although I think new recreational dispensary openings in this city have been kinda interrupted by the whole pandemic business, so it’s still a bit hard to access for now). The only drugs I’m even interested in anymore (besides maybe a little low-THC weed, just to see) are psychedelics, and I don’t just want to take them casually, I want a tripsitter or a therapist present. So it’s more complicated than just “getting the drug”.

27. would you ever get a sleeve or a half sleeve on your arm (we’re talking about tattoos)?: >> I would love that. I have had the idea to have a tree-rings tattoo down my left arm like the astronaut character in The Fountain for years.

28. do you have a wireless mouse and/or keyboard?: >> No, my keyboard and mouse are both wired, which is logical. Wouldn’t it suck if I was in the middle of a boss fight in FFXIV and the battery in my keyboard or mouse just fuckin died? Yikes.

29. do you think your biological parents love each other?: >> They did not love each other, from my perspective. I don’t even know if my father is capable of loving anyone, the way he fucking acts.

30. do you have callouses on your feet?: >> No.

31. did you see the commercial for that “foot grater” on tv that basically shaves the callouses off of your feet? isn’t that nasty to think about?: >> That is nasty to think about, and I don’t think it’s even necessary. Anything to make a buck, I guess.

31. what’s your favorite color combination (ex. pink and purple)?: >> I don’t know, I like a lot of colour combinations.

32. ever been to watchmovies.net? what do you think of the quality of the movies there?: >> Yeah. I don’t like sites like that because I can never get good subtitles and also they’re always buffering and shit. I can’t put up with that anymore, I paid my dues back in my literally-broke days.

33. what’s one movie you’re dying to see but haven’t had the chance to see yet?: >> Everything on my watchlists across the four streaming services I patronise. I just don’t always have movie-watching energy (or time), so it’s slow going to get through all my watchlists.

34. would you rather live alone in a huge mansion or alone in a small studio apartment?: >> Alone in a small studio apartment. Unless the huge mansion had a staff, because I really can’t fucking imagine keeping a mansion clean and maintained otherwise. But... huge mansions often come with a lot of acreage... and no neighbours... that’d be nice.

35. if you came across child porn on your computer, what would you do?: >> How the fuck would that even happen? Let’s not get silly here.

36. what’s the last computer game you played?: >> Final Fantasy XIV.

37. what’s the name of the street you live on?: >> Eh, let’s not.

38. would you ever dye your entire head blonde?: >> No.

39. what’s the randomest thing you ever heard of someone collecting?: >> I don’t know, most things people collect seem random to me.

40. how often do you use “<3” or “:]”?: >> Rarely.

41. isn’t it annoying how people walk around thinking hollister logo tshirts and ripped jeans are preppy, even though those things would never be allowed in a prepatory school because of the dress code?: >> *stares blankly in “I don’t care”*

42. how do you feel about abortion?: >> I am pro-choice.

43. what’s one thing your grandmother does that you can’t stand?: >> ---

44. did you ever notice how it’s more tragic if a younger person dies than an older person, even if they both died of the same cause?: >> It does seem that way to people, but I don’t see it that way myself. Of course I’d rather die when I’m old than, like, right now, but hey. It be like that.

45. when’s the last time you snuck around, and where did you go?: >> I don’t have to sneak around.

46. how often do you wash your hair?: >> Once a week, provided I remember.

47. do you think the price for a movie ticket is too high these days?: >> Not here, it isn’t. In NYC, it was fucking astronomical.

48. have you ever been to a drive-in movie theater?: >> No. I’d like to one day, that seems fun. But only if I have a convertible, lol.

49. what’s your favorite musical?: >> Phantom of the Opera.

50. what do you think of dr. seuss?: >> I’ve never read him (that I can remember) and I don’t care.

[scarletwelly-boots]

Books Read 2019

It’s time again for my annual books read post (a little earlier than usual, but I couldn’t wait). I read 24 books in 2019, 4 books more than last year, though two are in progress and I expect to finish them by the new year.

It is year four of the reading challenge from Popsugar. There were 48 categories this year, so I got 50% again. Unlike last year, I did not change any categories, but I may have taken liberties with some again, we’ll see. So, without further ado, let’s begin the list. [Under the cut]

1. How to Train Your Dragon, by Cressida Cowell (A book becoming a movie in 2019). Okay, so there have already been two movies in this series, but the last one (*sob*) came out this year, so it counts. I read this book and a few of the others in the series a few years ago, but revisited the first one this year. It’s really good, but don’t go into it expecting it to be like the movies. The character names are the same, but that’s about it. If you can get your hands on the audiobook version, it’s read by David Tennant, which is excellent. Definitely recommend; it’s just as good as the movies.

2. Little House in the Big Woods, by Laura Ingalls Wilder (A book that makes you nostalgic). This is another reread. My dad read the whole series aloud to my sister and I when we were barely older than Laura is in the first book. It was the series he read before the Harry Potter books came out, and we both got sucked into that series. So yeah, very nostalgic. This is a series of semi-autobiographical stories chronicling Wilder’s pioneer childhood, and this is the first in the series. Some of the language doesn’t really age well, but for the most part it’s a delightful book.

3. An Absolutely Remarkable Thing, by Hank Green (a book you think should be turned into a movie). Holy. Shit. I was very, very pleasantly surprised by Hank Green’s debut novel (and yes, John Green is his brother). This is a mysterious book about first encounters and internet fame, with a queer young adult (like, really YA, as in post-college) protagonist. She’s kind of shitty sometimes, but I would argue all twenty-somethings are shitty sometimes (I mean, I literally typed “*sob*” two entries up, like I’m channeling my 2009 self, and I didn’t delete it.). I would highly, highly recommend. And apparently, SOMEDAY, there’s supposed to be a sequel, thank GOD.

4. Loki: Agent of Asgard, by Jason Ewing (a reread of a favorite book). I could actually get away with a reread for this one! I love this graphic novel series. I love how they depict Loki, how he finally gets a goddamn redemption arc. It’s a really fun read. Check it out.

5. The Beast Within, by Serena Valentino (a book inspired by mythology, legend, or folklore). A companion novel to Disney’s Beauty and the Beast. I don’t really remember much about this book. It was weird. But like, it plays with the timeline and the curse a little bit, where the beast gets cursed but doesn’t become a beast immediately. He slowly transforms as his behavior gets worse and more cruel. Apparently he used to be friends with Gaston, but Gaston forgot about him once he finally transformed. Really weird. If you’re obsessed with this fairytale like I am, give it a shot. If not, it probably won’t be that interesting.

6. Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen (a book you see someone reading on TV or in a movie). Another reread. I know it’s a classic, but I seriously just love this book. 

7. Howl’s Moving Castle, by Diane Wynne Jones (a book about someone with a superpower). Another reread of a favorite book, what can I say. The movie is my favorite movie, but the book is better.

8. Carry On, by Rainbow Rowell (a book told from multiple character POV’s). Okay, listen. I had to reread this book, because it had been a few years and the sequel came out this year. Think of this as generic brand Harry Potter if Draco was a vampire, was Harry’s roommate, and helplessly in love with Harry. I’m serious, it’s generic brand. But damn if I don’t love it. @JKR, this could be us but Harry had to be the jock that married his high school sweetheart and grew up to be a cop. Definitely read.

9. Franny and Zooey, by JD Salinger (a book with no chapters/unusual chapter headings/unconventionally numbered chapters). My brother got me this book for my birthday. Before this I had only read Catcher in the Rye, which I started out hating when I was fourteen but turned into loving when I was nineteen. Honestly I think this novel is better than that one. I really loved it. Highly recommend. What’s it about? Who the fuck knows? But to quote my brother: “At its core, I think this book is about a smart brother and a smart sister. I think we can relate.” So read it and buy it for the smart brother or sister or sibling in your life.

10. 1916, by Tim Pat Coogan (read a book during the season it is set in). This is an Irish history book about the Easter Rising of 1916 and (what I didn’t know when I started reading it in April) everything that came after that can trace its cause back to the rebellion, all the way to the centennial of the Rising. The Easter Rising was the catalyst of Irish freedom. It was like the Boston Tea Party of Ireland, rather than the Battle of Yorktown (as in it kickstarted the War for Independence but didn’t immediately result in freedom), that is, if the instigators of the Boston Tea Party were rounded up, imprisoned in Kilmainham Gaol, and a week later almost all executed by firing squad. It’s a tedious read if you’re not into Irish history or history in general, but I enjoyed it.

11. Loki: Where Mischief Lies, by Mackenzi Lee (a book set in space). Okay, technically it takes place on Asgard and Earth, but those are planets, and planets are in space, so it counts! I’m still reading it, but I really like it so far. (Honestly I maybe just like the idea of Loki in knee high black boots marketed towards women and black nails. I never promised not to be gay.)

12. Norse Mythology, by Neil Gaiman (a book set in Scandinavia). I’m sorry! I read this book every year. Neil Gaiman is an amazing writer, and we all know I’m gay as shit for some good Loki tales. 

13. Artemis Fowl, by Eoin Colfer (a book that takes place in a single day). Okay, I know people love this fantasy series, and since it’s Irish I fully expected to, too. But I didn’t like any of the characters enough to read the rest of the series, least of all Artemis himself. I struggle to enjoy stories if I don’t like the main character, and Artemis was kind of a shit. Sorry, I did not like this one.

14. Skulduggery Pleasant, by Derek Landy (a debut novel). I just started this one, too, but I really like it already. I think the audiobook is read by the same guy that read Artemis Fowl, but already this is way better than that one. The characters are likable, for one (god, the bar is so low for fantasy books for me right now). It’s a mystery and a fantasy, and the main-ish character is literally an anthropomorphic skeleton detective. It’s excellent. I’m going to read the whole series. (I have to; my mom accidentally got me the 12th installment for my birthday.)

15. Red, White, and Royal Blue, by Casey McQuiston (a book that’s published in 2019). I read this twice. It’s so beautiful. I really expected it to be a shitty YA novel, but it wasn’t! It was very romantic (once they stopped “hating” each other), and gay. The premise sounds far-fetched: First Son of the United States falls for the Crown Prince of England. But, guys, it’s soooo gooooood. Highly, highly, highly recommend. 

16. The Wisconsin Road Guide to Mysterious Creatures, by Chad Lewis (a book featuring an extinct or imaginary creature). I mean, you can make your own decision whether these cryptids are real or imaginary. This is a travel guide to cryptids in Wisconsin, which I got on vacation earlier this year. I liked it, but reading a road guide for pleasure is admittedly kind of weird. Recommend if you’re planning a road trip through Wisconsin and want to stop at some cryptid, ghostly, or Nessie-like hotspots. Or if you just want to fuck Mothman, like me. (Dustybae’s not in this particular travel book though.)

17. Take Me With You, by Andrea Gibson (a book recommended by a celebrity you admire). Okay, so it was by a celeb I admire, not recommended by. This is a very quick read, of quotes from Gibson’s poetry. They are a queer spoken word poet with some really good pieces. They’re on spotify and apple music, probably among other sources. Recommend their work, but the book is very short, so maybe only purchase if you enjoy their work.

18. This is How it Always Is, by Laurie Frankel (a book about a family). This book was really, really good. It was passed around the aunts in my family until it got to my mom and I, which was really kind of a magical thing. It’s about a family navigating the challenges and gifts of raising a trans child. I cried a couple times, and it was so good. It’s written by a parent of a trans child, so it came from a place of understanding, and it was interesting to read this type of narrative from a parent’s perspective, when usually being genderfluid myself, I tend to consume media that is from the perspective of trans characters themselves. I had some very interesting conversations with my aunts and mom about it, and I really think this book changed my family a little bit, and I didn’t expect it to change me, too. Highly recommend. 

19. Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, by Suzanne Clark (a book that includes a wedding). So the wedding is at the very beginning, and sadly not between Strange and Norrell. But it’s really good. Lots of magic, lots of regency-era Britishness. The book is huge, but there is a miniseries on Netflix based on the novel and that’s really good too. Highly recommend, and still in love with my man John Childermass. Hnng.

20. Wayward Son, by Rainbow Rowell (a book by an author whose first and last names start with the same letter). Sequel to Carry On. Sheer madness. I loved it. Think of it as generic brand Harry Potter post-DH, if Harry sprouted dragon wings during the final battle, is gay as shit for Draco, and a year later Harry, Draco, and Hermione are set loose on America with .5 seconds of research, severe culture shock, one cell phone between them, and a half-assed plan to rescue Ginny who may or may not want to be rescued. Shit show, but well done and I’m fully invested and ready for the third installment.

21. Good Omens, by Neil Gaiman (a book with a two-word title). I’m sorry, I need to shift to caps for this. GUYS I FUCKING LOVE THIS STORY YOU HAVE NO IDEA IT IS THE GREATEST THING THAT HAS EVER COME INTO MY WORLD! I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE WATCHED THE AMAZON SERIES THIRTEEN TIMES TO DATE AND IMMEDIATELY DEVOURED THE BOOK IN THREE DAYS. You don’t know what it’s about? Where have you BEEN?! An angel and a demon who are gay as shit for each other and love humanity way more than either of their respective sides. One downside is that as the miniseries came out like twenty years after the novel, my two favorite parts were only written for the series, and are not in the novel. But the book is still very, very good. 15/10.

22. Dumplin’, by Julie Murphy (a book revolving around a puzzle or game). I took game to mean competition, so this is about a beauty competition. I watched the Netflix movie first. I honesty thought I was not gonna like it, but holy shit it was amazing. Admittedly I think the movie was better (despite having Jennifer Aniston in it), but the book was really good, too. Recommend.

23. The Picture of Dorian Gray, by Oscar Wilde (your favorite prompt from a past Popsugar reading challenge; a book with a queer protagonist). God, please read this book. This has been up there in my list of favorite books since I was fourteen. Oscar Wilde is a master storyteller, and Dorian Gray is intriguing and despicable and beautiful. I’ve already read this, but I love it too much not to.

24. Terrible Queer Creatures, by Brian Lacey (a book set in an abbey, cloister, monastery, vicarage, or convent). Okay, so it’s not set there for the whole book, but gay monks and nuns are things. This was another birthday present, and an absolute hit. Combining two of my favorite things: Irish history and queer history. I had no idea a book like this existed. I’m still really excited about it. The only issue I have is that most of the one chapter dedicated to gay women involve biographies of people that were actually probably trans men, like Dr. Barry. They could have probably had a separate chapter and then a chapter of the clear lesbians and bisexual women (including trans women, of course). Lumping them in with the women in a chapter specifically dedicated to queer women did not seem particularly inclusive. But overall I really enjoyed the book.

Top Ten Books of 2019 post will be forthcoming.