#or steve went back to BEFORE THE FUCKING WAR??? when peggy didn’t even know him n was…. A MINOR???

[sugarpopss]

Running Sucks

Okay. So. This is very niche bc it takes place in the universe of @bucknastysbabe and I's chat where Bucky got rescued from HYDRA after falling and sent home, settled down w his sweetheart and got to be happy and safe and fat and work for the SSR. Then ALSO they found Steve he's fine and he and Peggy are fucking on the DL. Very much an 'everyone is fine bc it's happy' AU. Steve and Bucky go on runs together and have bestie time. There's just a lot of lore to know alright.

The thing about running is that it sort of sucks. Sure, it’s ‘good for you’ and ‘important to exercise’, but it sucks. That’s an opinion Bucky will stand by until the day he dies. 

The thing about James Buchcanon Barnes in the spring of 1949 is that he wasn’t even that out of shape. He’d always had good stamina and going into the military didn’t hurt that. Besides, whatever they’d pumped him up with in Azzano-traumatic as the whole experience was-seemed to bolster his entire body. He didn’t need to know precisely how. The less time spent thinking about it, the better. The night terrors were calming down and that was good enough. 

So no, Bucky did not have a negative opinion of running simply because he was out of shape. 

And he liked parts of running! He liked being out and about in Brooklyn, he loved hanging out with Steve-especially since their lives had diverged a bit in post-war adulthood. Even if Bucky would’ve never imagined ‘hanging out with Steve’ constituting going on a run before the guy went and got himself shot up with whatever secret smoothie sent him into second puberty. 

He liked jogging with his best friend and swapping banter and gossip with the easy comfort of childhood friendship and the understanding of forged in fire brotherhood. But by god, he hated how his thighs chafed like they were trying to start a fire. Bucky would absolutely admit to having put on a lot of weight since coming home-being full helped him sleep and his wife loved to bake, sue him. It didn’t usually bother him. Being fat felt like being safe, like his body was one hundred percent, absolutely his, even with the metal arm HYDRA had practically superglued onto him before he was rescued. 

But the fucking chafing was something else. And it was the very worst while running. His thighs rubbed together and wore the inseam of his pants to threads, he could feel his entire body jiggle every time his feet hit the pavement, and the sweat that accumulated in the creases underneath his moobs or the overhang of his belly was less than comfortable. 

And because Bucky was the man he was, and had pretty much settled into a happy, domestic life and the good days far outnumbered the bad, he was in the position to be needlessly dramatic. Just for fun. And for attention. 

Which was why about two thirds of the way through the circuit they were running he stopped running and bent over, hand on his knees, and took several heaving breaths like a dying fish. It wasn’t entirely for show-he was out of breath-but he could’ve kept going for a few more minutes. 

The dramatics had their intended effect, though. Steve stopped running and turned around, eyebrows raised. 

“Come on, assclown. You can’t finish five miles?” 

Bucky took another very deep breath and straightened, wearing the same smile that made girls in dance halls fall over themselves almost a decade ago. Not that he used it for that much anymore-he was a happily married man. 

“Said I’d do two. Pretty damn sure I said I’d do two.” 

Bucky had, in fact, said he’d only do two miles. He’d also gotten distracted talking to Steve and just kept running; he’d only noticed how far they’d gone when the friction burn on his inner thighs had become too irritating to ignore. 

“Yeah, but you say that every time. I just tune it out.” 

Steve smiled like he was holding back laughter when he said it, and Bucky laughed after he said it. 

“Whatever, punk. We’re walking the rest.” 

He slung his flesh arm around Steves shoulders, grinning. For all the moaning and groaning he did, Bucky did enjoy this time. 

As they started walking-because they were going to walk the rest of the circuit. He was serious about that-he realized there was something he hadn’t asked Steve about in a while. Something incredibly important that he absolutely wasn’t just using to josh on his friend. 

“Say, you asked Peg to move in with you yet?” 

Steven Grant Rogers went bright pink. 

[zouisalmightie]

... stucky?

oh babes stucky is my bread and motherfuckin butter. absolutely 1000% ship! this is going to be stream of consciousness im so sorry

1. what made me ship it is steve literally broke 70 years of brainwashing by just saying buckys name. that’s how important steve is to bucky literally all he said was his fucking name. and then! steve literally put down the shield and was going to let bucky kill him because (once again!!!) he couldn’t live in a world where bucky did not know him. and then!!! he put down the shield and gave it to tony, gave up his superhero status because bucky is what he cares about.

2. my favorite things about stucky are “when i had nothing else i had bucky” like think about this for a second. steve literally did not know what his enhanced body could do, but he still went in stormed the fucking hydra facility by himself not fucking backup and was like im getting my mans out of here. they both had the opportunity to leave the other in the war and they both were like nah i gotta stick beside him. bucky fuckin dies and Steve drives his plane into the fucking ocean idc that he was holding a picture of peggy (which i do think steve loved her he’s my bi sexual king) you don’t think a tactician like steve couldn’t have figured out how to get the plane in the water and stay alive?? and then bucky literally his first memory we see is of steve (“but i knew him” the pain in his eyes im fuckin screaming). steve has always been his north star we see it in fatws he talks about what steve would want or what steve would do. that’s the one thing that bucky knew and bucky could trust even before hydra and the war. and i also love the fics that come from stucky writers like im in a lot of fandoms and some of the best written novels came from stucky.

3. idk if this is popular or unpopular but my headcannon is that steve is the only child of irish catholic immigrants and bucky is the eldest son of a jewish family. nothing can or will change my mind if this. also if we are talking mcu bucky, the decision to not give him the shield over sam was absolutely the correct idea he didn’t put in the work to take over for steve (also my biggest and most correct opinion is steve never would have went back in time to uproot peggy’s life like that, not because of bucky but because he got to hear from her how happy she was with her husband and no matter how much steve loved her he never would have gone back to take that away from her the russo brothers can meet me in the fuckin parking lot for that). also if they were at all invested in bucky, we should have seen his recover in wakanda not only would that have given us more of the beauty of the country, we could have gotten more bucky and i was fucking robbed!!

to ship or not to ship

[duuhrayliegh]

Hello, darling! I was wondering if you could right some Bucky x reader, where the reader worked along Sharon during Civil War and she meets Bucky. Then she runs always with Sharon and meets Bucky again in Madripoor and continue their story. I hope that makes sense. Thank yooouuuu✨✨✨

hey babes!! yes i absolutely can! i kind of gave more background than i meant to making it way longer, but i hope you enjoy it anyway! i do want to continue this story and most definitely will be so be on the lookout for the other parts of it lovie <3. i hope you still enjoy it even though it isn’t quite what you asked for yet :)

A Friend of Yours

FATWS SPOILERS

warnings: not much, canon lvl violence, some suggestive stuff closer towards to end, language, i think that’s it

word count: 6140 i went a bit overboard, it’s fine i’m totally fine

a/n: i got this request and then didn’t stop writing all day. i didn’t get anything else done all day. i got home at like seven-ish? and i’ve been sitting on the floor of my bedroom just writing this fic (for context it is now 12:47 pm where i’m at)

check out A Friend of Yours - pt. 2 and A Friend of Yours - pt. 3

p.s.: this is the first fic that i’m writing with an actual ‘x reader’ i’m so proud

xoxo ray

ray’s m.list

******************************

You grew up with Sharon, the two of you were best friends from birth it seemed. Honestly, Peggy raised you more than your own parents did. When Aunt Peggy got Sharon her first thigh holster, she got you one too. You enlisted together, moved up the ranks together, everything. So, it was of no shock to anyone that after the fall of SHIELD, you both moved together into the CIA’s Joint Terrorism Task Force.

You were inside the hotel with Sharon, Steve and Sam when the bombing on the UN took place. The look of unbridled fear that fell over Steve’s face as they announced Barnes as the primary suspect was heart wrenching. You weren’t able to watch it for long because your phone was already ringing off the hook.

“Look, you need to get me more information, and now.” You gritted into your phone speaker before quickly hanging up the phone and turning to a crestfallen Steve who was still watching the news casting. Sharon ended her phone call and turned to you.

“We have to go to work.” A few short hours on a jet later, you and Sharon were coordinating the operation. Close by, Steve and Sam were awaiting new information. Steve had this insane plan to find Barnes before the whole rest of the world did. Like that’s going to happen, it took the world 70 years to find Barnes. Of course, Steve and Sam are going to find him in about half that time.

You followed the blonde woman into a busy coffee shop and up to the counter. She slid a manila folder over to a well disguised Captain America. “Tips have been pouring in since that footage went public. Everyone thinks the Winter Soldier goes to their gym. Most of it’s just noise, except this.” Sharon was talking quietly, trying to not draw attention to the fact that she was committing a serious offense.

“We have to give the briefing, like now Shar, so we have to go.” The two of you pushed off the counter and you turned quickly to say one last thing. “And you better hurry. They’ve given the order to shoot on site.”

You left the shop quickly and made your way back to the white tent, passing the redheaded spy who was watching you like a hawk. A look of understanding crossed her features as you kept a calm facade. She fucking knows, how the hell could she read you that easily?

*********************************

The next time you saw any of them, they were exiting the back of an armored prison van. It was no surprise that his eyes flitted over to his best friend from childhood. You glanced over at Barnes, who was strapped in all different ways, and your heart hurt for him. You tried not to pity him, you know you would’ve gotten a slap on the wrist from Aunt Peggy about it.

Bucky must’ve felt you looking at him because his steel blue eyes locked with your pair. This was the first time that you’ve ever actually seen the man in person. It was startling, in a good way. You grew up going to the Smithsonian and hearing Aunt Peggy’s stories about the great James Buchanan Barnes. You never thought that you’d get the chance to meet the man you did a history report on your freshman year of high school.

“Y/N?” Sharon’s voice cut through your thoughts, recalling you to reality and out of your past. “We have to go. We’ve been assigned to monitor Steve and Sam while they’re here.” Sharon was clearly not a fan of this, which made you laugh loudly.

“Oh, score! We get to babysit Captain America and the Falcon!” You spoke in an unnecessarily upbeat voice and then clapped your hands together. “Our dream job! Let’s go, Shar!” She stared at you for a millisecond before slapping a hand on your shoulder.

“Let’s go, you fucking dork.” You followed her through the office building into the control room where you observed Tony talking to Steve. Apparently, the conversation was not going well because both their faces held angry glares. Eventually, Tony left the room, leaving Steve alone with his thoughts and that can never be good.

“How you doing, Cap?” You asked as you less-than-gracefully plopped yourself into the chair across from him. He looked over at me and released a heavy sigh.

“Honestly, Y/N, not that great at the moment.” He looked at you with his iconic mom Steve stare. Wow, so that’s what it’s like to be on the receiving end of that. Sam walked in and sat next to you. You drowned out their conversation as your gaze focused on screens outside of the glass office.

The video feed of Barnes in his metal cage was displayed on a TV screen. How is this considered humane? Obviously you knew that the CIA had pushed boundaries in the past, but this was just insane. “Are those restraints really necessary?” Sam seemed to be just voicing his thoughts, not expecting a response back.

“Well, he is considered an international terrorist, so yeah, they’re kind of necessary.” You said quickly and then muttered under your breath, “No matter who thinks that it’s excessive.” Steve’s gaze met yours and he was about to speak when Sharon walked in and dropped a paper in front of Sam.

“The receipt for your gear.” A scoff sounded from Sam as he glared at Sharon.

“‘Bird costume’? Come on.” Always quick to defend your best friend.

“Hey, we didn’t write it up.” It came off snappier than you had meant it. Sharon shot you a look, signaling you to back off. You raised a brow at her as she leaned over the table to the intercom buttons.

The audio from Barnes’ evaluation echoed through the glass room. Everyone around you was unsuspecting the four of you listened in. The psychologist was talking to Barnes, who seemed incredibly closed off. Who could blame the guy though?

“I’m not here to judge you. I just want to ask a few questions. Do you know where you are, James?” The psychologist paused for a second, looking down and off to the side. “I can’t help you if you don’t talk to me, James.” The caged man spoke for the first time.

“My name is Bucky.” His voice was rough from not being used. A look crossed Steve’s face and he turned to Sharon.

“Why would the Task Force release that photo to begin with?” Sharon’s body turned to face the man speaking to her. Her brows furrowed while she answered.

“Get the word out, involve as many eyes as we can?” Your head tilted, trying to follow Steve’s train of thought.

“Right. Good way to flush a guy out of hiding. Set off a bomb, get your picture taken. Get seven billion people looking for the Winter Soldier.” Oh shit.

“You’re saying someone framed him?” You wanted to believe it with every fiber in your being.

“Steve, we looked for the guy for two years and found nothing.” Sam reminded in a calm tone.

“Yeah, you didn’t bomb the UN though. That turns quite a few heads. Especially if prominent people like King T’Chaka end up dead because of it.” You made a good point, but there were still pieces missing.

“That doesn’t guarantee that they would find him. It guaranteed that we would.” Sharon and Steve began examining the room around them. Your attention returned to the audio emitting from the intercom.

“You fear that,“ the doctor paused, “if you open your mouth, the horrors might never stop. Don’t worry.” He glanced down again and moved his hand to swipe something away.

“Guys?” You pointed to the screen as the doctor held up his pointer finger.

“We only have to talk about one.” All of the sudden, the screens went dark and the lights flickered off. Secretary Ross was yelling at technicians to get his video back. Tony was speaking to his AI, Friday, about locating the source of the outage. Steve and Sam tensed at the thought of what could be going on with Barnes.

“Sub-level five, east wing.” was all Sharon said as the pair ran off. You looked at her and threw your hands in the air.

“What the hell do we do now, Shar?” She glared at you as she started reasoning with you.

“They’re stronger than we are. If they can contain whatever the hell is happening down there then great. In the event that they can’t, we’ll be up here with Natasha and Tony to deal with it.” You nodded quickly as you both ran out of the room.

You quickly followed Natasha, Tony and Sharon to the main level of the building. Clearly Steve and Sam were unsuccessful in containing the situation because Barnes could be seen through the glass, fighting his way to his destination.

Tony stunned Barnes with a previously concealed Iron Man glove. Barnes started towards Tony and quickly attacked. After Barnes bested Tony, it wasn’t long before Natasha rushed the man alongside Sharon. It wasn’t hard for Barnes to throw Sharon across the room. Natasha took the opportunity to launch herself onto his shoulders, which caused Barnes to slam her into a table with his metal hand wrapped around her neck.

She mumbled something to him as you kicked his ribs, releasing his chokehold on her. He stumbled backwards, his hard gaze landed on yours as he approached. Your eyes locked on his as the two of you traded blows.

They weren’t the same eyes as before. Those eyes were soft and remorseful, these were hard and unattached. There was no emotion behind the pair staring at you. The fraction of a second that you were analyzing his eyes in your head was enough for him to catch you off guard. His metal fist landed in your rib cage. The opposite hand jabbed at your face, busting your lip and sending you flying backwards.

You hit your head on the concrete below, making your eyes roll back. The wind left your lungs and you gasped to get it back as Barnes and T’Challa fought in the background. It was a few minutes later that a concerned Sharon made her way over to you.

“Are you okay?” You looked her over as she did you, checking for any severe injuries. You offered a small nod, not wanting to shake your head too much in fear of a concussion. “Let’s go check in with Ross.”

******************

“And how the hell did Rogers and Wilson even know where to find Barnes?” Ross’ voice boomed through the office. No one said anything, not wanting to incur the wrath of Secretary Ross. “I’ve already allowed Stark 36 hours to find them and bring them back here.” Ross turned to you and Sharon standing in the corner of the room. “If they contact any of you, report it immediately.” Rounds of ‘yes, sirs’ bounced around the room, then chaos ensued as everyone got back to trying to clean up this mess.

“Carter. Y/L/N. Elevator now.” He raised two fingers to point toward the elevators before walking into one. It was just the three of you in the enclosed space. He clicked the button for the ground floor. “I know you have some kind of connection to Rogers but do not let that cloud your judgement. The both of you are CIA agents first.”

“We understand, Secretary.” The elevator doors opened again and you went to step out when Ross stopped you again.

“I mean it, girls. This is your job on the line here.” You and Sharon shared a look before continuing walking. Did he just call us girls?

“Do you think that was supposed to be intimidating?” You laughed under your breath as you went out to the parking lot. Sharon sighed and shrugged her shoulders.

“Probably.” She looked at you over the top of her car. “You don’t have to come with me.”

“Where do we start?”

****************************

Getting that fucking shield and bird suit wasn’t easy. They had moved it from the Joint Counter Terrorist Centre to the US Embassy to await transport back to the States. It made it easier but still damn near impossible to get. Thankfully, you and Sharon are good liars. Skills of a misspent youth.

The two of you walked in the front door and displayed your badges. “We’re here to pick up Captain America and the Falcon’s effects.” The man behind the counter didn’t even question it. Man, they need better people at the Embassy.

“You’ll have to sign some paperwork saying you picked it up.” There it is. You both flicked a brow and Sharon held her hand out for the clipboard. Small scratches from the pen in her hand were echoing throughout the empty building.

She handed the clipboard back to the man behind the counter. “Okie dokie, just pull your car around to the side of the building and we’ll get you loaded up.” He shot them a small smile and turned around to file the papers.

“That was easy enough.” You whispered to Sharon as you left, not wanting your voice to carry. You walked to your car that was parked in front of the iron wrought gate. Pulling your car around to the side of the building, you popped the trunk. The gear clad Embassy soldier carelessly tossed Sam’s suit inside before gently placing the shield on top of it.

“Hey, if there’s a scratch on that suit, it’s coming out of your paycheck buddy.” You held your pointer finger up to the man’s unimpressed face.

“Y/N, let’s go. We’ve got to get these to the jet or Ross will have our heads. Remember it’s our job on the line here.” What Sharon said made you laugh big while hauling yourself back into the driver’s seat of the car. As you pulled out into the street, Sharon was typing away on her phone and pushing it to her ear.

“This is a secure line but I don’t know for how long, so don’t talk just listen.” She took a deep breath and then continued. “We want to help. Meet us under the bridge on Route 6. We’ll be there in two hours.” She ended the call quickly and threw the phone outside the car. Glancing over at you, she nodded and sighed again.

“We’ve gotten this far.” You had one question burning in your throat that you were afraid to ask.

“Where do we go after they’ve gone?” She looked at you and she was biting her lip, something she only did when she was incredibly stressed.

“I don’t know yet. Do you have any ideas?” You smiled and thought of the one place that you wouldn’t be followed.

“Yeah, I’ve got one, but it’s rough.”

***************************

The drive to the underpass wasn’t a hard one. You had beat the boys there so you and Sharon were sitting in the car. You had the radio playing softly in the background.

“Who the hell do you know in Madripoor?” You laughed and shrugged.

“I’m supposed to tell you all my secrets for free?” You shook your head and shifted in your seat to face her fully. “I was tasked with tracking some artwork down there. One of my assignments when we went through initiation for the Agency.” You picked at the holes in your jeans. “I thought it was just all fake stuff, but I researched it more and more. Turns out, the underground artwork dealing is really lucrative over there.”

Sharon stared at you in amazement. “What did you do, Y/N?” You smirked.

“I haven’t done anything.” You held her gaze, “Yet.” She released a small laugh and her mouth hung open a bit. “I may have a warehouse out there.” You squinted one of your eyes, and leaned forward. “And the apartment above it.” She was going to say something when an old ass blue Beetle pulled up behind you.

“Now how the fuck did they all fit in that tiny ass car?” You both laughed as you stepped out of the car with big smiles on your faces.

“Not sure you understand the concept of a getaway car.” Steve walked up to Sharon and they began talking as she popped the trunk, revealing their gear. Your attention was on the men in the car behind them. Barnes was stuck in the back away from cameras and Sam was lounging in the passenger seat. Your eyes met Barnes’ again, they were back to the remorseful pair you saw the first time.

“You know he kind of tried to kill us.” You waved your hand in gesture to the man in the car.

“Sorry, I’ll put it on the list too.” He glanced back down at Sharon, who had migrated closer to him. “They’re going to come looking for you.”

She nodded, “I know.” Then the most awkward kiss in all of kissing history took place. Your brows shot up then furrowed quickly, a small wince overtaking your face. They pulled apart and traded more words. Sharon began walking back to the passenger side of the car.

Steve turned around and you looked back at the two men in the car. Both of them were wearing proud, smug grins. Steve threw his head back as if he was berating them.

“About damn time, Cap! She’s been pining over you for God knows how long now.” The windows were down in the Beetle so the other two heard you shouting at their friend.

“Y/N!” Sharon was a bit embarrassed.

“What? It’s the truth, Shar!” The two of you began bickering like an old married couple as you started the car again. Steve got all he needed from the trunk and shut it quickly, slapping it twice. You began driving off with Sharon giving you directions to an airport on the opposite side of the country.

***********************

That was the last time you saw Steve. Last time you saw anyone for a while. You had been dusted in the Blip. Sharon had followed you to your apartment in Madripoor. The two of you were able to figure the city out pretty quickly. Learning the ins and outs of the island, where to go, who to sell to. One afternoon, you and Sharon had been surveying a Van Gogh piece for your gallery when you flew away. In the middle of a fucking deal, what perfect timing.

Five years later, you were reunited with an even more successful Sharon. “I kept your room the way you left it.” She said as she led you through your shared home. “I figured that you’d be back and you’d be pissed off if I fucked with anything.”

You smiled at the woman gratefully and hugged her. Neither of you let go for a while. When you did, she started filling you in on everything. She had continued to split all her profits and had been depositing the money into your account. “Even if you didn’t come back, I could’ve used it if I needed to bug out. Win-win.” She explained with a smile.

The two of you had about six months of getting back into the groove of things. It was quickly cut off by a ping of your phones one day. A look of confusion and anger crossed her face, “Are you fucking kidding me?” She locked eyes with you and told you to get your gear.

“Where are we going?” She threw her phone at you and you looked at the screen. As soon as you read the notification at the top of it you understood. Repeating your question from before, you tied the knots on your Converse. You followed Sharon to the Low Town side of the island.

“Now what the fuck are they doing here, do you think?” The two of you camped outside of the Brass Monkey nightclub, ready for whatever came your way. Deciding that you were too visible to everyone else, you moved to the building across from the club. Something is bound to go wrong and the first place they're going to get ran to is this dead end alley.

Sure enough, not even ten minutes later, Sam, Barnes, and Zemo got cornered in the alleyway. Sharon had decided to stay on the ground floor next to the door. You shot two of the assassins following the group of three and Sharon took out the final one.

You made your way back down to Sharon, who was still holding her gun up. “You cost me everything.” She focused her gun on Zemo.

“Sharon, wait. Someone recreated the super soldier serum and Zemo had a lead.” Sam remarked calmly, trying to diffuse the situation.

“Explains why you guys are here and Selby’s dead.” Your brows shot up at that, must of been new information that she got while you were upstairs.

“Why are you here, Sharon?” Sam questioned.

“She was one of the ones who stole Steve’s shield, remember?” You stepped forward, raising your gun to gesture to the men in front of you. “And the wings, so your ass,” you waved at Sam, “could save his ass,” at Barnes, “from his ass.” You lowered your gun and stepped in front of Zemo, staring the man down. Your fist balled and you launched it at Zemo, landing a solid hit to his cheekbone.

Barnes grabbed your hand, twisting your body to slot against his with your arm bent behind your back. He leaned close to your ear, breath making shivers trickle down your spine. “I only let you do that because I’ve wanted to for a while now, so don’t get any more ideas.” Your breath hitched because of the proximity of the man behind you.

“Alright, give me my Y/N back.” Sharon said, lowering her gun to holster it. Bucky held onto you for a few more seconds than necessary and then pushed you towards Sharon as he released you. You scoffed, then shoved your gun into the waistband of your jeans. Sam and Sharon had already started their own conversation by the time you calmed down enough to face Barnes.

Sharon bobbed her head to you, an unspoken language between the two of you. After bringing them into your home, Sam began admiring the artwork in the first floor gallery. “Looks like breaking the law is treating you two well.”

“Before even graduating into the Agency, I had a place over here. Never had any intention on using it, but here we are.” You started, “Then, after having to flee Berlin, for you,” You shot a look at Bucky, “we figured if we had to hustle, might as well enjoy the good life. Do you know how much we can get for a real Monet?”

“Deactivate your hustle mode. You sell fake Monet’s.” Sharon shot him a look, about to defend us when Zemo cut in.

“No. She means real. This gallery is specialized in stolen artwork. Monet. Van Gogh. All the classics.” Sam made a face of disbelief.

“It’s true. You know, half the artwork in museums like the Louvre is fake. Real stuff sits in places like this.” Bucky gestured to the gallery. Sam pulled his phone out of his suit pocket.

“Okay, guys, I see what you’re doing. You’re more worldly than good old Sam.” He was typing furiously as he spoke. Bucky passed him, soundlessly following you and Sharon to the upstairs apartment.

“Yeah. What’s Google say?” Once the five of you got upstairs, Sharon began walking them into her office, telling them that they needed to change because we were hosting clients. It didn’t take long for the men to switch outfits. It was refreshing to see Barnes in something other than combat gear or a torn Henley. Sharon followed you in the office, making a remark at Sam while he apologised.

“Look, you know the whole hero thing is a joke, right? The way you gave up that shield, deep down, you must know it’s all hypocrisy.” She said as you plopped yourself on one of the plush chairs across from the couch, holding a clear glass full of whiskey.

“He knows. And not so deep down.” Zemo added quietly, since when is Zemo informed? Sharon glazed over his comment, opting for asking about the new Cap while filling a glass for herself.

“Don’t get me started.” Barnes spoke for the first time since being downstairs. You narrowed your eyes at the man.

“Please. You buy into all that stars and stripes bullshit.” You swung your glass to Zemo, “Before you were his pet psychopath, you were Mr. America! Cap’s best friend.” His gaze darted over to you, nose wrinkling at your comment.

“Do you know who I am?” He tried to be intimidating but it was just funny to you. You were taking a drink to moisten your throat to fire back a witty comeback, when Sharon spoke for you.

“Oh trust me, she knows. She did a report on you freshman year of high school.” You started choking on your drink as Sharon smirked from the couch next to Barnes. His brows raised and a smug smile graced his face.

“She did now?” Clearly he was a different man from the last time you saw him. Meeting his eyes for the fourth time ever, you were surprised with what you saw. There was almost a hunger lingering behind his eyes.

“Most definitely. I don’t even know how many times she went to the Smithsonian to see the exhibit about you.” You glared at Sharon, who continued to talk, unbothered by you. She raised her own glass to her lips, speaking into her cup, muffling her words.  “Honestly, think she developed a little crush.” Barnes’ eyes never left your face, his mind racing.

“Wait, so the entire time you were helping me and Steve, you had a crush on Tin Man?” Sam interjected, wanting to be included in the conversation. You rolled your eyes and gave a subtle nod to Sam. The action wasn’t missed by Bucky.

“Which is why I think it must’ve been really hard for you to ask him of all people for help. They comin’ down real hard on you out there?” You asked Barnes with a smirk and a head tilt towards Zemo. “I know he fucked you up real good, triggering the Soldier, Barnes.”

Sam laughed beside him. “Dude, that’s basically what you told Walker.” Barnes threw a glare at Sam, who had clapped a hand on his metal shoulder. The conversation dissipated after your comment, guess you killed the vibe.

Sam turned to a relaxed Sharon, “We need your help.” Her body tensed, neither one of you was ready to throw yourself back into enemy territory. “I can get your name cleared.” He dangled a huge bargaining chip in front of her face. You knew Sharon was eager to get back to the States. She misses her dad. It was unfair of Sam to use that as a way to gain her favor.

“Haggling with someone’s life like that isn’t okay, Sam.” You said quietly, focusing your gaze on the glass in your hand.

“It’s not like that, Y/N.”

“Yes, it is, Sam.” You said firmly. “You can’t just say something like that. I know you’re an Avenger. That’s great shit, but you need to realize that if you can’t deliver on your word, we go to jail or worse. You know that.”

“I don’t trust charity, Sam.” Sharon said from beside Barnes.

“All right, a deal then. You help us out, and I get your names cleared.” Your nostrils flared and you shook your head. Sharon agreed, blinded by the possibility of seeing her family again. You don’t doubt that she thought through all the outcomes, it just wasn’t the route you would’ve taken.

“We sell to some pretty connected people. Lay low, blend in, and enjoy the party.” She got up, exiting the office.

“Try to stay outta trouble, boys.” You said placing your glass on Sharon’s desk as you left. “We’ll see what we can find.”

*********************************

You were standing next to Sharon when the three men joined the party. Leaning over to Sharon, you told her you were going to get a drink from the bar. You pushed your way through the crowd, planting yourself on a stool in front of the countertop. Nodding your head at the bartender, they passed you a bottle of club soda.

“Not drinking tonight?” A raspy voice questioned over your shoulder. You turned to face the owner as you shrugged your shoulders.

“Already had my fill. And technically, I’m supposed to be working, Barnes.” Your eyes met with his again. You couldn’t tell if it was the light in the room or if it was just him, but they were a deeper shade of blue than before. He leaned his weight on his elbow that was resting on the bar top next to you. He was so close you could feel his body heat rolling off him in waves.

His eyes roamed your face, stopping on your lips as he spoke. “You know you can call me Bucky, right?” You made a face, bringing your bottle to your mouth. He watched intently as your lips wrapped around the opening.

“We’ve never had a single conversation before today. And the first time you actually met me, you twisted my arm behind my back because I punched the dickwad standing next to you.” You took another sip and his eyes drifted down to your throat. He watched as it bobbed when you swallowed.

“So, yeah. I’m going to call you Barnes.” You leaned closer, “I’ve never been given permission to call you anything else.” You could tell you struck something. Something that he didn’t even possibly know about. His face heated and he had to clear his throat before speaking.

“Um, okay. Well you can call me Bucky or if you want, James.” Your brow quirked and you pulled back to take him in fully.

“How many people have you let call you that since you got your free will back?” Your tone was serious, but your face held a smile.

“None, doll.” His eyes ran over your face again. “I just want to hear how it’ll sound coming from your mouth.” One of his metal fingers came up to rest on your bottom lip as your smile grew.

“James.” You whispered, just for him. What he was giving you was a privilege, one you were going to revel in. One corner of his mouth tugged upwards.

“Again.” He growled as his finger remained on your lip.

“James.”

“Again.”

“James.” The party around the two of you faded away. In your reality, it was just you and the man in front of you. A peaceful place, where nothing could change what was happening right at that moment.

Of course, reality is a bitch. And you never got what you wanted. Your jaw clenched as soon as your phone pinged. James dropped his hand from your face as he read the text with you.

Found Nagel. Meet us outside and if you find Bucky, tell him too.

You scrunched your nose and bit your lip. James’ hand was quick to pull your lip from your front teeth, before resting there for a second as he studied your face. He stepped back quickly, nodding his head for you to follow him.

**************************************

You don’t know how the hell Sharon managed to find him, but she did. You were in a shipping yard for storage cars. “Madripoor could give New York a run for its money.” Sam said as the five of you weaved your way through the containers.

“With a bounty on your head, the longer you’re in Madripoor, the less likely you’re ever leaving.” She glanced down at her phone in her hand. Nodding toward a red container, “Alright, he’s in there. Container 4621.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out five earpieces.

“We’ll keep watch while you guys talk to Nagel. But hurry. We’re on borrowed time.” You said as you watched everyone situate their pieces. Sharon turned around and began walking down an aisle not far from the container Nagel was in. You stopped James before he could go anywhere.

“Hey, be careful.” His eyes met yours and they were back to the normal steel blue. “Don’t forget who you are, James.” Something flashed behind his eyes, but his face showed no change.

“You too, Y/N. Don’t make me come out here and save your ass.” His eyes flicked down quickly and a smile spread quickly. “I mean, not that I would mind.” You rolled your eyes and shoved his shoulder, turning and walking down the aisle Sharon did.

“So,” She was leaned against a rusted container with a smug smile. “You and Bucky, huh?” You groaned and stood next to her.

“I don’t know, Shar. Neither one of us should be in a relationship. Especially since we’re both Enemies of the State, well one of us is, the other one was.” You turned your head to look at her. “What do you think about all of this?” She opened her mouth to speak when you both heard something ricochet off a metal wall.

She raised a finger to her mouth and crouched down before pressing that same finger to her earpiece. “Guys, we have company.” She took off down one end of the aisle and you down the opposite, ready to attack from both sides. There were three men walking towards Nagel’s container, you shot a look down to Sharon and she nodded.

She came from the back with a baton, whacking the last guy once in the knees and once in the head, disarming him. When the front man turned to help his comrade, you did the same move to him with your own baton. You both continued trading blows with the men. You had effectively taken out the first man, using his thigh to latch yourself to the third man’s shoulders. Situating yourself to use your body weight to flip him over, definitely knocking him out.

“Every bounty hunter in the city is here. We gotta go now, boys!” You yelled to your earpiece as you watched Sharon fight off another opponent.

It wasn’t until the gunfire started that Sharon said something else into the piece. “Guys, we’re seriously outta time here.” You both split off, out of each other’s view, battling your own demons. You were currently dealing with two of those said demons, when a third approached from behind. Locking you in a chokehold as the other two continued punching your ribs.

One of the hunters was suddenly ripped away from you. Punches were landing and groans were echoing through the alleyways. You threw all your body weight forward, throwing your assailant over your shoulder. Two gunshots rang out and then a third one, which landed a bullet hole between your aggressors eyes. Your head whipped around to face James, whose arm dropped back to his side.

He walked towards you, putting a hand on your back leading you to where Sharon and Sam were standing. Zemo pulled up in a blue convertible car, “Supercharged.” was all he said. Sam pointed his finger at the man in the driver’s seat.

“You’re going back to jail.”

“Do you want to find Karli or not?” James sighed heavily, his shoulder sinking with the action.

“He’s right. We need him. And there’s two of us, and at least twenty of them.” James got in the front seat, leaving the door open for Sam.

“Fine. But if you try that shit again--”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” Zemo raised his hands in surrender. Sam turned to Sharon.

“Well, that was one hell of a reunion.” You leaned over the open door to talk to James. He looked at you with a sad face.

“Why don’t you come back to the States with us?” He tilted his head. “We could clearly use your help, doll.” You smiled at that and licked your lips before responding.

“You know we can’t. Not yet anyway.” He placed his finger back on your bottom lip, maintaining eye contact. “This isn’t the last you’ll see of me, James. That I can promise you.” He smiled and dropped his hand back to his lap.

Sam climbed into the seat behind James. “You’re not going to move your seat up, are you?” James smirked before replying.

“No.” You watched as they drove off, desperately wanting to see James again already.

You turned back to Sharon and the two of you began walking back towards High Town. “I think you should go for it.” 

[seriouslyblacklikemysoul]

Ancient Dreams in a Modern Land - Bucky Barnes x Reader

So, it's the third part. Is it the last? I don't know. I don't knoww... I am guessing not. But for now, here is a happy ending.

Masterlist

PART I.

PART II.

Part III - Yours.

To say that you were trying to hide away was a lie. The accurate statement would be that you were trying to go unnoticed by every curious eye in the camp. Peggy was informed that you were there on Erskine’s behalf and that you were to attend every… special meeting. Colonel Philips had to agree but you had to stay out of sight “not to disturb his men”. Well, human rights were something foreign in this new timeline. Time was of the essence, as you had already stayed over two months in 1943 and you just wanted nothing more than to fast forward and put an end to this.

Steve was trying to keep up with the training, but his physical abilities were not great. Not yet. The days were growing fewer, and the anticipation was building up. You kept thinking that maybe you could take out that Hydra Agent before he killed Erskine but then again, what if that made everything so much more complicated than necessary? You had already changed a couple of things… then again, Fury should have known that it would not be as simple as he had told you. Hell, he probably even knew that you weren’t going to follow the rules he had put. You made a promise to yourself – when you go back, he had to run for his life.

You talked frequently with Erskine and Peggy – she was less trusting and in her line of work, you got why. After a point, Colonel made you train as well because his men “were gawking anyway, you might as well give ‘em motivation… keep ‘em inspired”. You had rolled your eyes so hard, Steve thought they might actually get stuck like that. Peggy respected you more after that, opening up little by little. Phillips had been open-minded enough to allow Carter, but another female in his camp… made him tick.

You were aware that it would be a long way until you saw him again – wait… until you got your hands on the file… not see him. Right? You shook your head. Now was not the time not the place, you thought as you run a marathon with the others. You were purposefully staying behind, to be close to Steve. At least, until the serum, he had company.

You tour the States with the Star – Spangled Man, himself. And now you knew why Steve had tried his best not to spoil anything in your time – you already did know everything but didn’t know it. You had seen the affection he had developed for a certain agent, and it broke him that she wasn’t following him to the tour. He used to talk to you, while you were pretending to be surprised when he faked-punched “Hitler”. You had to stay close, at all times and that was the best he had come up with. Since you didn’t have another idea, you just went with it. You hated every single minute but at least, day by day, you were growing closer to the end of this fucking tragedy.

You had to remain quiet if you wanted to be – where did you want to be? Where was that file? When you saw Peggy walking towards Steve in a makeshift tent, you offered a smile that didn’t quite reach your eyes; she returned, genuinely happy to see a familiar face within the bloodstained battlefields. If there was anyone thinking that war didn’t change a person, they hadn’t lived through one. You hadn’t even been in the front lines, fighting for bullets, as you were informed and yet, you felt heavier and without the hope, you had brought with you; where had it gone, was unknown to you, it was just not with you anymore. Having seen the faces of people who wanted to support any way they could and the other ones, the ones who were traumatized by how much they had seen, you really missed your time – sure, you had seen pretty big battles, but this was brutal.

A platoon of tired wounded soldiers, an ambulance that rolled up to the hospital tent. Corpsmen unloaded. The wounded were on stretchers. You suddenly feel your heart squeeze. You hated yourself for this but it meant you were closer to finding him – no, not him, the file, you reprimanded yourself. But of course, it was him you were thinking about. Screw the file, screw the mission – you wanted to save him but you couldn’t. Just as you couldn’t save Erskine or anyone.

You didn’t wait for Steve to connect the dots, you had already run to Colonel Phillips’ tent and practically demanded to know, something he found weird and not acceptable but you stood your ground. Peggy and Steve had barged in on them, asking the same.

“What is with you two?” he asked, genuinely not understanding. He gave in moments later… you hadn’t considered that he could have given that answer…

“I’ve signed more condolence letters today than I’d care to count. But the name does sound familiar. I’m sorry”. What? No… he was still alive, he had to be. He had yet to become one of the Howling Commandoes. No. He didn’t know what you did.

You were left frozen, momentarily forgetting that you knew he was still alive, barely. Peggy placed a hand on your shoulder, as Steve left the tent abruptly.

“I am sorry” she offered, realizing now that you had only been sticking around in hope of seeing him again. And it wasn’t that big of a lie too. You tried to nod but it was forced.

“No, you’re not coming with me. You’re staying right here with Agent Carter” Steve tried to reason with you but you needed that file, and you were pretty sure it was there. You couldn’t exactly tell him that, though.

“Listen, I know things you don’t. Including, how to get in the base” you admitted; he had forced your hand, or rather, mouth. You had studied that very base as a project for Shield, to show them how easy it would be if, in the rescue mission, you were about to embark right now, Rogers didn’t force in but slipped through the cracks. And now you had to put that theory to the test.

His face showed that he didn’t believe you. It was Peggy who made it possible, after all.

“If I may, I think you need her Steve. You can’t save everyone without help” she offered him and you backed away to give them a bit of privacy. You changed behind a tree, in the dark, from that hideous dress and slipped into a pair of pants and a white shirt. Nothing quite fit but it was way better than to go onto a suicide mission in a dress.

Ten minutes later, you were greeted by Howard Stark, the resemblance as evident as ever. You would talk to Tony – oh, wait. He knew… that little shit, he knew all along.

“Fuck” you repeated for the hundredth time, as you fell on top of Steve, who had no problem landing without a parachute – you weren’t that indestructible. Your training didn’t evolve jumping out of moving planes… well it did. But you were never really fond of that exercise. Maintaining that High Level in Shield didn’t come easy, but you really wanted it and you had worked for it.

Jumping off a plane without a parachute, trying to infiltrate a Hydra base, and retrieving Bucky and his file was not something you had signed up for. It was too late to turn back now.

“Will you ever stop?” Steve whined after you hadn’t stopped swearing under your breath. You looked at him with an annoyed side look and rolled your eyes – you were about to say something when you found your way in. Three covered trucks rumbled towards the gate. You were signaling Steve to sneak into the last one, while the gate guard was checking the driver’s papers. What you didn’t expect was that you had to take out the trash first.

You sat tight, waiting for the truck to stop. Steve placed himself in front of you, shielding you while he acknowledged your help with a simple nod. The truck halted and after ten or so seconds, Steve smashed his shield onto a guard, guiding you out. You realized that you had no idea where they were; the soldiers, Bucky, and the file had to be here, but you had not been prepared for this, as well as you thought.

By mere chance, and luck alone, you came face to face with four prisoners, who were thrown back into a cell, half of them unconscious. They were looking at you and Steve with bewilderment you had not witnessed before.

As Steve made his way and freed them, your heart was taking you in another direction. You heard them call it the isolation ward. He was there. A guard rushed down the stairs, his jackboots almost crushing your fingers, but you were fast enough to hang under the staircase. You yanked his ankle and he tumbled down the stairs. You proceeded carefully and stepped onto a catwalk, only to find out another one with a gun.

“Fucking fantastic” you said sarcastically as you threw yourself to him, exactly like Nat had thought you, rending him unable to move. Steve found you in time as you looked over the factory floor. He pushed you behind him, as he took in the full scale of the bomb-making facility.

“Thanks for waiting” he commented but two more soldiers attacked both of you. Steve whirled and crushed one’s neck with his shield, while the other fired at you. A shield blocked your view, and you were thankful.

“I promise to wait” you mumbled, making Steve chuckled as he tossed the other one to the ground. You reached the corridor you were being pulled towards. At the far end, you saw Zola with files pressed to his chest. He saw Steve and ran the other way. He had the file. He had to have it.

“Go. Leave. Find him. GO” you screamed at Steve while you had already leapt down the corridor after Zola. You needed the file. What for, you had no clue. And at that moment, you realized that you knew nothing. All it took was two steps and you engaged in full-blown combat. A guard, helping Zola escape, threw up his forearms like an offensive lineman blocking a defensive back, but she slipped to the side, pushed his elbow down and away, caught his head, and rolled him into the floor. Not even a second later, you had thrown another one off of you and were on your feet, rushing toward Zola in slow motion. He reached under and grabbed a pistol. You did not try to stop the gun; you rolled his hand under his wrist, drove his arm over and back, and pulled him backward and down. You had the gun before he slammed into the floor, and you were pointing it at him.

“Give me the entire file. NOW!” you screamed at him and for a mere second, you were thinking about using the gun. It was just one bullet. And this would be over. And Bucky wouldn’t be where you had left him. Fuck. He complied, rather easily. He was a coward, but you were smarter. You saw the scribbles – he had injected him with the super-soldier serum already. Maybe he had already started…

He knew which file you were talking about. He gave it to you, trying to hide some papers in the other files. You snatched them all.

“He is destined for greatness, you know. The Serum worked better than it has on your hero friend” and with that, he got up and ran. You were holding the file for dear life and couldn’t move.

Explosions were making your decision easier. You started running like hellfire was chasing you. No one had bothered stopping you; even their soldiers were running for their lives. You found an exit and raced towards it. You kept running until you were far inside the woods – and then, you saw the flames. They would be alright, you kept thinking.

More people were joining, and you hid the file under your shirt, securing it with the belt of your pants. No one could know. They carried familiar faces – because they had their own exhibition, you reminded yourself. There was a stinging pain coming from your head, but you knew that it was better not to know. A couple of bruises and a lot of blood, not all of it was yours. You stayed silent and waited until you saw them. Steve was helping up an exceptionally racked soldier. The said soldier, however, felt your gaze and looked up. And even in the dead of night, after too many explosions to count and too much trauma, his eyes had the same effect on you.

You weren’t quite sure how but the next thing you touched was him. You had all but run to him, wanting to hug him as if he was oxygen and you were dying but you forced yourself to be gentle. He was clearly out of it. But he didn’t even think about it when he pressed you to him.

“You’re here” he whispered, and it was the first time you noticed his voice had changed. It sounded more like you remembered from your time. You could only feel him and that scared you because you couldn’t pick on the differences any longer. You had the file and now it was time to go. But how would you leave him?

Steve gathered them all around and told them the plan; even if they were exhausted, they could not stop now. They had to get far from there. You agreed but seeing their faces made your heart tremble. It was not just Bucky who had suffered in the hands of Hydra. No. And he wasn’t going to be the last, you imagined.

Bucky never let go and you had to support him occasionally, letting him lean on you. There was nothing to say. You didn’t have words and you had no idea what you were supposed to say after this. You were dying to know the content of the file, but you promised not to even look at it as long as Bucky was around. You owed him that much. You dared to look at him, blue eyes lighting up the darkness of the night, even when they were fighting a war themselves. It made you almost halt right in your track and spill everything. He still hoped.

“We made it” he whispered, in peace. There was a certain weightlessness about him that wasn’t that present in your time. There was a silent smile that made him reveal his dimples again. God, you had missed them. Amid a war, he seemed happy.

“We did, Buck” you reassured him. For now, that would have to do. A moment later, he became skeptical. His eyebrows furrowed and his eyes spoke loudly.

“You’re here” he reprised, and you knew that it was the excitement, settling down. You nodded but you knew he was no longer happy about that.

“Why on earth are you here?” he asked loud enough for Steve to stop dead in his heels and look back wearing a very guilty look.

“No, no he didn’t make me join the army. I wanted to keep an eye on him and the possibility of seeing you, open” you admitted, and it wasn’t a lie, per se. It was more honest than you cared to think. He arched an eyebrow but immediately regretted it.

“Ouch, ouch… gosh” he let out a chuckle, and you were sold. You smiled widely and tried to imagine how many days this adventure of yours would cost you.

The trail of blood from his ear, an angry cut covering his left cheek, couple of bruises and scruffs all over his face; you saw them all in the gruesome glory. But he didn’t seem to mind, as he lit a cigarette, enjoying the long drags. You were staring at his dog tags, not being able to stop thinking about what was next. You had just returned to the camp, Peggy rushing to Steve and Colonel Phillips pleased at the scene, but he never showed it. You left them to their enjoyment, as they had joined in cheering and went to grab a frozen shower.

You wished it wasn't that easy to forget that it had been days on the run from when you had found him. You wished to forget that he had the serum already running in his veins because you were angry and mad at hydra for what they had done but it would prove to be the only way for Bucky to survive long enough.

Everyone was fighting off their demons but Bucky, he could hide them with ease under a mask. The person you had left behind was smiling long enough to be noticed but as soon as someone turned away, he dropped the act. This version of him was hiding behind other things as well, shielding him from what was inside… flirting and laughing and joking … they were all distractions from the war he was fighting.

There was a significant difference, however. Even though this Bucky was still fighting off demons, there was a certain quality, a certain emotion, that made it easier; he was still able to hold on to hope. You had left behind a man tortured, only to find this man, who was not exactly the same. The only thing you could feel was your heartbreaking at the time he spent in between.

Slowly but steadily, you had come to realize that you wouldn’t be able to leave before they did… You had tried to avoid him as much as you could, asking Peggy for help, which she didn’t understand at first, but you offered the excuse of a dead military boyfriend and the PTSD this was bringing up. She hadn’t questioned you further and kept you busy and away from Bucky. After a day or two, he had gone off with the Howling Commandos killing Nazis in the name of freedom.

It had been a week since you last saw him and it made you worried. What had also occurred during that week was the first real contact with the file you had been sent to retrieve. At first, you thought that it was all about information regarding Bucky, to which you didn’t know why Fury would need it. He already knew everything about that man and anyway, he was alive and able to talk to him more.

But then, the notes started drifting off from what you usually find in a military file. Scribbles in German and Russian. You had little to no knowledge of German, but Russian you could manage. You had to manage the other language as well if you truly wanted to figure out the importance this file could have had in your time, for Fury to risk a lot of things. Солдат, Сыворотка, Армия, История, Сила… Soldier, Serum, Army, History, Power. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that Zola’s plan was to turn him in the Winter Soldier from the beginning. He is destined for greatness; Zola had told you. But you shivered and swallowed hard.

It went into great detail on the how’s and the why’s behind the entire concoction. And after three days you had finally understood Fury’s motives and you would not oblige.

You had heard voices coming from outside your tent, making you shove the file under a makeshift bed and a pile of clothes. Your body was reacting without your mind’s permission. You had to physically restrain yourself from leaving the tent and crushing him inside a hug. You already knew that you couldn’t tell him, you weren’t able to warn him of what was to come and set him free from Hydra because you would mess with things you didn’t understand. Bucky knew that you would end up here, so this had already happened for him. Yet, you were experiencing it for the first time. You didn’t understand the time and its principles, and you didn’t want to, either.

Peggy had already informed you about the local pub, putting on a special thank you themed night for the soldiers and the entire camp. You knew that they would go before you asked them. You knew that you would go, as well. And that was due to one sole reason. Bucky would be on his way to that god-forsaken train tomorrow. You felt your throat dry, like sandpaper, trying not to scream at him, knowing that he would hear you, even if he was all the way across the camp. You knew it was not a good idea, seeing him right before the inevitable but you had waited a long, long time to just leave now.

Before you knew it, he had entered your tent, in search of you, with a panicked look on his face, blood on his upper lip, dirt under his nails. Once he had eyes on you, you noticed that everything seemed to go away, a light suddenly appearing in his eyes. He didn’t know whether you would still be here, you realized.

He enveloped you in a bone-crushing hug, one you couldn’t say no to.

“I’ve missed you, sweetheart” he mumbled, and you melted into his arms. You were in so much trouble, you knew – how were you going to justify these moments when you returned home? You knew that it was not what you had signed up for, but he was here, holding you close to him, radiating warmth and affection and you just… fell. Not in love, no. But…

He didn’t hesitate, he kissed you with the passion of a soldier’s last wish, and it scarred you. The file under the mattress was mocking you because you hadn’t returned back home, but rather, you were planning to go to the pub with him. Fury would have been furious and then you remembered… screw him. He wasn’t going to hold that file, ever.

His lips were rough and cut and they tasted salty and metallic. Blood. They tested of blood. His. You lost yourself momentarily in the depths of your mind, knowing how hard it must have been for Bucky not to tell you everything, back in your time. And you thought that he didn’t know why… why you were sent back.

For the next twelve hours, you wouldn’t think about it. You didn’t want to ruin his last night. If only he’d known… By the way, he cupped your face, you knew that he could never learn. He was happy to see you.

“Get dressed, doll, we’re going out tonight. What do you say?” he asked, slightly too eager but you got why. You needed to say no, you knew that. So, naturally, you said yes.

He was positively beaming, a smile that reach his eyes and made his dimples visible again. You rolled your eyes at that but couldn’t break his heart. He was slowly backing out of your tent, as he had to grab an hour or two of sleep and a shower.

“I’ll wait for you” he promised as he winked.

He did.

People were laughing, they were smiling, and the war could almost be forgotten. Υou were starting to understand why your heart was shuttering all of the sudden; those people had friends, family, a life that had been left behind. The Howling commandos would return, but not all of them had that privilege. Peggy was kind enough to lend you a deep dark blue dress, which now swung at your hips yet, exposing your collarbones, and a pair of appropriate shoes. You walked deeper inside the pub, only to find Steve and Bucky sitting on the bar. Peggy had made her way towards them, and Steve was completely in awe. You smiled, knowing now why he didn’t date again.

They were talking business because that was the only way Steve knew how to communicate with a female. You arched your eyebrow and walked to them. They were both wearing their dark green overcoats with golden buttons, pockets, and ties around their necks. Steve hadn’t noticed you but Bucky did and his mouth hung agape, which made his friend look, amused.

He gave you a wild smile and a nod, while Peggy was looking Bucky, entertained.

“You, you… wow” was all he could say, in which you had to pretend to cough to hide your laugh.

“Wow to you too. Buy me a drink?” you offered plainly, with no more excuses, finally giving in and letting the night unfold. He did exactly as you told him, without wasting a minute. You had four hours with him. And then he would be on his way and you would have to go back. This Bucky didn't know anything, he didn't know why you would leave, he didn’t know that he would fall from a train, he didn't know why you were reserved, he didn't know that you knew him better than he ever could imagine and he didn't know that you were there because of him and he definitely would not be able to figure out why had you dumped him right before his big adventure if you had declined.

This person in front of you trying to get an order right deserved a happy moment and maybe even some days that were about to come, he would be able to grasp on that feeling and hold on. a glass of red wine made its way to you. he had ordered whiskey but remembered that you had a soft spot for Malbec. He knew that he couldn't offer you that at this given moment, but he tried his best. You really didn't mind the wine. If you were being honest, you were there for him and him only, not even Steve.

“To our future, baby” he softly whispered in your ear, and you knew the gravity of his words. He made a toast to your mutual future, and you knew that, in a way, he never broke that promise, even if he never really understood. And then it hit you... all those years, 70-something years, he thought you were dead. He thought that you had either moved on with your life and had a family or didn't. All those years, he never truly knew where you were from. He didn't know that you were from his future and that he would find you again. The pain was hitting you like tidal waves. You didn't know if he had blamed himself for not being there for you, or if he had searched for you. Maybe when he had those glimpses of his past when his mind was waking up from the trance hydra put him in, he had actually gone out looking for you only to never find a single trace of your name.

“I’ll drink to that, Sergeant” you boosted his ego, and his chest swelled with pride.

Two hours had passed, and you had danced, you had drunk and laughed and had let him be with you in public, bragging about you to his friends, constantly reminding you that he was completely, utterly, catastrophically yours. You weren't a very good dancer but you both knew that dancing was just an excuse to hold each other close. His smiles were genuine and sweet, wrinkling up his eyes, his hands were carefully adoring you and his eyes were full of tenderness.

He was so young you noticed so untouched by everything that would be inflicted upon him; pain, torture, demons, damages… those were things he did not know of. Even after the incident, even after having rescued him, he was still hopeful of the future. It was that innocence that lingered on to his face, slipped through the cracks into his eyes, and was reflected back at you. It was that light that guided him towards the end of the war, hoping to start a family and settle down.

“You’re not entirely here, are you?” he noticed and asked, but in all honesty, it was more a statement. You couldn't help but smile a bit. No, you were not. You reached for his cheek and placed a small peck.

“Let’s get out of here” you suggested in a low voice, dreading your own decision to leave a room full of people just to be alone with him. There were things you needed to say and even though you knew you could not reveal anything, you were well aware that you could give him hope. Maybe that was enough. He noticed the sudden change and the austerity of your voice. He knew by now that when you were serious about something, you had your reasons. He had also known for a while now that you hadn't been honest with him not entirely. There was something about you that gave away a certain darkness, like a premonition. He would never force you to talk if you didn't want to. You had your reasons.

He nodded in agreement, offered you his arm which you took, and felt strange to see flesh, where you had only seen metal. You were making your way out of the pub when you realized that even though you needed to say things you had no idea how. It had crossed your mind before; it wasn't the first time. You thought about telling him the truth to warn him that he would find you again in seven decades from now, but he wouldn't be him, he would have been a changed man. Then again, nothing would change. He would still go through everything hydra had put him and even if you told him, you were from the future, he wouldn't believe you. Even if he did, what other option was there? Not be on the train? If you altered this timeline that much, your Bucky would never be where you left him. And so, everything you wanted to say turned to dust.

You sat to the back of the Jeep that had brought you in this pub and Bucky slid beside you. Time did not care about loneliness. When time made you, it didn’t tell you how lonely the darkness could be. You could hear people laugh in the light. First, you envied them. But when everyone else around you started to die, you felt their sorrow seeping into your bones. You craved to die with them. Soon you realized time didn’t care about your needs.

Time did not care about pain. The world around you ached, and you felt the echo in your bones. You could count the fragile symphony of an old orchestra that cried in agony. You felt each bruise on your soul like a punch to the gut. You swallowed, you screamed. But no tears were falling. Maybe you collected scars because you wanted the proof of all the pain that was raw inside of you.

Time did not care about healing. You couldn’t remember the last time you had been whole. Now it felt as if the wind scourged through your holes and all your muscles and sinews were stitched up in the wrong places. Sometimes you wondered how long you had to endure. You looked at him and thought that the price for eternity left ichor on your tongue.

Time did not care about history. Years from now someone was to ask what you had done. There were whispers between the ruins and the soft wind of change playing tune to your name. But your scars were all forgotten. Your bones buried in the ground. No one would tell your story when your time was up.

Looking at him, in the middle of the night, alone in a car, you knew he was not as courageous as he wanted people to believe.

“I know you are worried about me, doll. I won’t lie, I am nervous too, but I mean, I can imagine being difficult to bring down Zola. You’ve seen him” he began and then paused. He was possibly letting on too much. You gave him a reassuring smile and started playing with his hands. Both of them.

“You have every right to be nervous. Hell, if it was up to me, you wouldn’t be going anywhere” you admitted. It was not up to you, however. He kissed your hands, over and over again.

“It seems, it’s me against the world, doesn’t it?” he mumbled, nervousness taking a hold of his words.

“You are not just you... You are a collection of the stories you've read and the night skies you've admired. You are the smiles you've given to strangers and the tears you've lost on your pillows. And I know that you have lost a lot of them. You are the lives you've touched. You are a mixture of cosmic stardust and earth. you are a descendent of nomads and sailors. You are the adventures you've had and will have. You are your imagination and anticipation. You are not simple. You are a complex yet magnificent product of the life you have lived so far. So, no, I don’t think is just you against the world” you poured out and you had no idea why. He was looking at you in pure amazement. You saw it in his eyes. He would find himself looking back on these days, recognizing the strength that carried him through. You couldn’t stop time, even if you would do anything to.

“Maybe I should had stayed when you asked me to” he let himself admit. You couldn’t let him leave in that mindset. You had to give him something to hold on to. You wanted this night to go out on a high note.

“Don’t say that. You will come back and find me and do the whole family plan. But more than anything, I just hope you don’t give up on yourself, or on the dreams, you know you are capable of. I hope you don’t give up on the future you are excited to live with, well, me, Bucky. I hope you’re proud of the person you are because you are someone no one could ever be” you told him truthfully and you would repeat those words to your Bucky as well. You meant them. He choked back a tear or two and pushed all the way down.

He was looking at you as if you were the holiest thing, he had laid eyes upon. He let your hands, just to make you lean on him, in a weird but very much needed, hug.

You had no recollection of when you had fallen asleep. You were woken by Steve and Peggy, informing you that you and Peggy had to get back and Bucky and Steve needed to get their things. Everything went according to plan, you thought bitterly.

You were never too good at saying goodbye. You never said it. You didn’t want to. You wished them the best of luck, not that they were going to need it, as Peggy chimed. Well… You hugged Steve after her and then crushed him with another hug and a soft kiss. The moment you got out of the Jeep, there was another one waiting for them. Moments later, they were waving their goodbyes. Neither would return.

“See you soon, sweetheart” he softly mouthed.

“See you in a heartbeat” you told him, with a fake wide smile.

You didn’t wait. You went into your tent, grabbed the file and the transmitter, and pressed it with all your might.

The compound was dark. No one in sight. You were not sure what day, month, or year this was.

“Safety protocol activated” echoed in the dark and you realized that F.R.I.D.A.Y. was still a thing, which could only mean you weren’t in 2030. You shook your head.

“No, no. No protocol, please. Come on F.R.I.D.A.Y, you know me” you whispered-shouted in the ceiling as if the A.I. resided there. If you remembered correctly, you could have around 15 more seconds to make a run for it before Tony found you there.

You weren’t sure exactly where you were but judging by the industrial lights, you were in the office Fury had shoved you in, that night. You knew your way now and you did run.

Thirty seconds later, you were in the room Tony had first given you and to your surprise, it was exactly as you had left it. Everything was untouched and unmoved. You hid the file under the bed and -

“You’re back” an awestruck Tony said, making you spin around to acknowledge him. He hadn’t changed a bit. Which could only mean that you weren’t in the past for that long after all.

“I am” was all you replied. You gave it a minute to sink in. You hadn’t thought about that. You just wanted to make it back here… but now that you had - you didn’t know your next move. You didn’t know if you were welcomed or not. Tony took a minute too. His reaction was a lot better than you would have expected.

“Oh, kid. You have no idea how good it is to see you” he honestly told you, in a very rare moment of vulnerability. He just pulled you close and hugged you and you were surprised that you were more than glad to hug him back.

“Fury is on his way, don’t worry” he let on and you pulled back abruptly. He realized that you weren’t really fond of that person right now.

“Fuck. I need to see him first. Where is he?” you breathed out while grabbing a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, which was not yours per se. He had made the mistake of loaning you the shirt one day, but he never saw it again. Tony was making grimaces and you rolled your eyes.

“He doesn’t want to see me, does he? What an idiot… he is jealous of himself!” you let out a bit louder than you would have expected. Tony nodded in agreement.

“Yup, not gonna disagree there. But he doesn’t know you’re here either” he eased but you were already fed up.

“Director Fury has arrived, sir” F.R.I.D.A.Y announced and you just huffed in annoyance.

“Gather everyone. Living Room. Two minutes tops” Tony instructed and turned his back on you, to let you change.

A minute later, file in hand, pressed again your chess, you were in the living room, while Fury was marching in. But so did everybody else. And then you laid eyes on him. Your Bucky. He was there. He was standing in the same room. He was there.

Bucky’s eyes traveled to you and his mouth hung agape. He forgot how to function for a solid minute. You had come back. You tried to push that thought away and to focus on the reasons you could murder Fury.

“I don’t demand a party every time I’m here, Stark” Fury pointed at all of your friends. And that was enough to make you explode.

“No, you don’t, do you?” Tony answer with the same level of sarcasm. Fury wasn’t a patient man. Steve was looking at you with too many questions, Natasha, Wanda, and Pietro were glad you were back, and Banner was trying to figure out what had happened.

“You’ve got something for me?” Fury demanded. You noticed how both Bucky and Steve took a couple of steps closer to you. You were still wondering what to do. But that became evident when Fury arched his brow.

You walked towards Bucky since he was a few steps away from Fury and tension was thick.

“Actually, I do. I got questions and accusations, you motherfucker. You send me into another time, fully aware that it would affect everything, that I would need too much time to retrieve the file you wanted, which by the way I had to figure out by myself, blindfolded, and you expect me to survive a war, a couple of months on camps, touring the world with him, and breaking him” you deadpanned and pointed at Steve and Bucky, respectively. Tony was eyeing Fury in a different way.

“And all that for a file. No. Let me tell you what it was. You didn’t want any file. You didn’t want Bucky’s file from the army. No. You wanted this. You wanted Zola’s formula and the way to create more super-soldiers that would follow your orders alone. You want an army. I am not gonna give you that” you spit out and extended the file towards Bucky. He was looking at it without knowing what to do.

“If Bucky wants it, he will have it. If he doesn’t, I’ll burn it” you said in a calm voice, which was way more terrifying than your screaming. Bucky looked at you, searching for an answer. He needed to know if the thing you were offering could help him get rid of the Winter Soldier. You didn’t know. You couldn’t read everything. You thought not.

He slowly nodded and took it from your hand, metal brushing off your skin. Familiarity and ease, calming you down. At least, you knew that it contained comments about him being better than the “other super soldier” – maybe he needed to read it to believe it.

“You don’t get to decide that” Fury threatened but you had nothing to lose.

“Or what Nick, you’re gonna sent me away again? Screw you, screw this plan, screw your little corrupted organization. I’m out” you finally handed him your resignation.

“I think it’s time to leave” Tony stepped between you and Fury. It would be ridiculous if any other man of his height did that but his ego and confidence were big enough to make this move seem powerful and intimidating. And Fury did. But so did Bucky.

You wanted to stay and chat with all of them, tell them you had missed them, and thank Tony for this, but you sprinted after him. Steve understood. He would have done the same.

You found him in his room, trying not to break. He had already opened up the file and he was appalled by the same notes of that very man who cost him his life. He heard you coming in but couldn’t look at your face.

You stood, your back on the now-closed door behind you, as you tried to give him space. He had his back on you and he even tried to conceal his metal arm from view. You tried to shut up but failed.

“I’m so sorry you’re feeling the pain that you’re feeling. I’m so sorry everything hurts so intensely that you feel like you don’t want to be here. I’m so sorry you know what it feels like to be held in the hands of complete darkness. I’m so sorry you feel like no one understands what you’re feeling. You have been dealing with so much. It’s too much, I know. But listen, the light is never as far as it feels. It is with you even in the darkest of moments. It is holding you and it wants you to survive this. It feels so heavy right now, but you will find freedom soon. You are strong enough. You can handle this. It is okay to lean on other people to hold you when you can’t hold yourself. It is okay to break. Sometimes we have to hit a breaking point and experience the meltdown fully so that we can fully heal and be set free from what is tearing us apart. You are not a bad person. You deserve to do what’s best for you. We can’t control a lot in this life, but there are small pieces of it that we can. I hope you choose to give yourself permission to break and cry and try to get through this so that you can experience the incredible wonders of living. You are supposed to be here. You belong. You are so much more important than you feel” you hadn’t breathed a single time. You had things to say and this time you wouldn’t back away. This was your Bucky. He had yet to turn to face you, so you waltzed over there, softly touched his arm, the one he was so worried about and he almost flinched.

“Sorry, I – I missed you Bucky. God, I fucking missed you” you whispered airily and you wanted nothing more than a hug. He looked at your hand, still touching his metal arm, and slowly turned to you. He was broken. Really broken this time.

“You saw me” was all he said at first. You nodded, understanding his reference. He sucked his lower lip between his teeth. And no matter how sexy was that you couldn’t help but feel in pain.

“I did. You knew that. And now you’re thinking that I preferred you as you were. That’s the thing, honey. Even though you were there, that younger version of you, I was missing you catastrophically much, because you weren’t. You. This version of you” you softly muttered, giving him time to fully accept your words. His eyes fell on your hand and his arm.

“All of you” you were practically begging him to accept his own self, the way you had. He still looked defeated. You only saw, stormy blue eyes full of demons and kindness, strength and love. You saw him and you knew why you could never believe that he thought you liked the person he once was.

40’s era Bucky Barnes was just a simple man trying to look out for his best friend. Bucky pre-WWII, he was a ladies’ man, but he was loyal, almost to a fault. He felt a heavy sense of protection for his best friend, and even you. To everyone who knew him, Bucky died when he fell off a train trying to save Steve. No one would have thought he would have survived the fall. The experiments Hydra did on him helped him to survive the otherwise deadly fall. Hydra forces found Bucky’s body and took him back to a different research facility, one that no one knew about. While there, he was tortured and brainwashed. It was there that they created the Winter Soldier. When in Hydra, he had no control of himself or his actions. He was a puppet to them; therefore, he had no morals or characteristics that defined him as a human. If he started to rebel or remember who he was, Hydra was there and ready to wipe him of his identity.

Bucky Barnes was a broken man, desperately trying to piece himself back together while simultaneously finding out how to add the Winter Soldier in. To you, he was an unconventional superhero because, in a way, he was flawed. Suffering from PTSD and possibly dementia at some point, you knew why all of the psychological damage that Bucky has faced was showing now. He was only seeing the bad parts he used to know.

He became soft under your eyes. Allowing the possibility of your choice.

“Good Steve Rogers went on to become the great Captain America. In Evil Nazi leader Johann Schmidt, the serum amplified the ideology of hate that drove his ambitions, literally turning him into the red skull. But then Erskine’s words made me question, what is Bucky’s greatness? Like it or not, Zola did say you were destined for greatness. Sure, he defined the word a bit differently but here I am giving it a proper definition. You have always been a hero. It’s just a matter of you realizing that you can use your strength for good and fight for people. So, what is your greatness? Your will. The will to keep going, to fight, to defend… You are a survivor. You dealt with the horrors, the darkness, and the weight of being an antihero to finally come out the other end”.

The silence was prolonged and nerve-racking. He needed time to process. You were there, too close to him, and yet you hadn’t moved your hand from his arm. You didn’t want to touch him unless he was okay with it.

“I didn’t find anything here” he whispered, a bit saddened. He really hoped that Zola’s notes would have the answer. You took the file from him, not forcefully, but little by little. You searched his eyes for your answer. He slowly nodded and smiled. It was small and not the one he wanted to give you, but you took it and smiled ten times as bright.

“You can light it up, you know” he commented, and you surprised. You knew where he kept his lighters, just next to the desk. You didn’t want to let go of his arm, but you needed too. You must have looked stupid because Bucky let out a chuckle. You were going to be okay.

He made that decision for you. He threw the file on his desk, without letting you go and left it there while he grabbed you and snuck his hands around your waist, enveloping you in a bone-crushing hug. You didn’t mind. You didn’t mind one bit. There was comfort and everything that was missing from before, it was now present. You knew the truth now. He wasn’t forced to lie to you. You had picked him, and for Bucky, that was something extraordinary. You didn’t really get why, since you had fallen for him since the beginning. Flesh or metal didn’t matter. It was him.

You kissed him and tasted doubt.

You were dizzy from the air around you and the warmth of his breath on your lips. He gasped, unreliable, when you touched his throat with shaking fingers. His skin was incredibly soft, and you feared leaving bruises with each pulse of your fingers. His lips moved, slowly, elusive, and you moved, too.

You kissed him and tasted hope.

Time had stopped around you. His fingers were tangled in your hair, pulling you closer. Your nose touched his cheek, his lips sucked a bruise on your jawbone. You closed your eyes and felt bitterness slipping between your teeth. He hesitated, then took off your shirt. You spread out like a chalk outline, waiting for his fingers to map you. You were ready. You were here. He was finally here.

You kissed him and tasted love.

You were wildly in love with him. His body made religion to yours as if you were a hymn and he was the tune playing along. His smile was never off, never half when you were around. You touched his lips, holy. You ached for him. You were wasted on him. These two were synonymous when his name was involved.

“It has always been you, sweetheart. You and you alone” he whispered with a delicate tone. He worshiped you.

“Can’t say the same, Sarge” you teased and his laugh echoed in the room.

He was sleeping next to you, hair messy, body relaxed. You watched the slow rise and fall of his chest, counting the beats in between. Dust settled in the air, and you watched it drizzling through the glimmer of white light that shined through the blinds. You wanted to reach out and touch him, but you stopped mid-movement. Instead, you touched him with your eyes. Cheeks, nose, collarbone, lips. The air around him tasted like summer. You wanted to drown in it. Your Bucky. Broken, beaten down, tormented, hopeful, strong, resilient, beautiful, and soft – yours.

[impactmintsfresh]

Do I have to spank you two? - Ch 1

Masterlist - Summary : Soulmates Steve and Bucky are a pair of brats looking for a third, and they have their eyes set on Tony

Warnings : Light Daddy kink

When Howard Stark had seen his six year old son's soulmark he had been angry. Angry that two of the greatest men he knew were somehow destined for his fuck up of a son. He had taken his emotions out of the boy and later blamed the bruises on a lab experiment. It would take years for his anger to turn to pity for the boy but by that point he had found other reasons to hate him. He knew the kid was smarter than him. That Jarvis, Peggy, even his own wife loved the kid more than him. He had been trying to find Captain America for years, but he stopped when he realised that even he was destined to love his son more than the man who made him.

Tony would be 12 when he realised why he would never be enough for his father. They were moving again and Tony found some old boxes from the war, he was smiling at old photos and drawings of the Howlies when he saw it. His soulmark on Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes. He wanted to ask his dad to tell him all the stories about his soulmates, wanted to hear about Steve before the serum, the pranks that he knew Bucky got up to. But he quickly realised why his dad made him cover his mark. His dad didn't think he was good enough, but Tony knew he was. That they would love him. He went back to boarding school and tried his best to be a good student, to do everything he could to make his soulmates proud of him. It wasn't until he told his best friend that he had to face the truth his brain was trying to protect him from. "But they are dead."

Tony had surprised everyone, after that incident with Stane he had started therapy. He stopped drinking and partying mostly, worked hard in the R&D department after passing CEO to Pepper Potts, and even slept on a semi-regular basis. He wasn't perfect and as Iron Man he time was even more divided but he was getting there.

When they had thawed out one half of his soul he had expected himself to start to spiral downwards, but everything was moving so fast with the battle he barely had time to even process it. He moved Steve (and the rest of the team) into the tower afterwards and promised himself he would tell Steve. Except he didn't. And a few years later when they found Bucky he couldn't. Bucky had been much more himself these past years and Tony couldn't come between the love of a century. So instead Tony looked after them, he looked after the whole team of course with new weapons and anything else they needed but Steve and Bucky were different. Jarvis had more programs and protocols for those two than the ones he had for Tony and the Tower combined. They couldn't even sneeze without Jarvis silently scanning them for any symptoms of all the known illness he was programmed with.

He didn't know how else to express his love for the two men, he couldn't tell them but he could do this.

Back before the war, when Steve was too sick to do anything but get in fights and Bucky was working to feed them both, they often dreamed about having someone to look after them. It wasn't the thing they were supposed to want of course, men were supposed to be the ones to provide, but they didn't care. They would eat their watery broth in their cold apartment and dream joke about someone dressing them both up in expensive clothes and taking them dancing to show them off. They might be soulmates but they had always longed for a third. Relationships with non-soulmates were rare but they existed. Bucky one night made a joke about being kept like a pair of exotic animals for some eccentric old man, and while Steve wasn't too keen on the idea of being kept in a cage he was all too happy with the idea of putting on a show with Bucky for someone.

Steve hadn't even thought about those conversations for months after waking up in the future. But when Tony offered him a place to stay he couldn't help but blush. He wished Bucky was here to tease him about Tony buying him clothes and making sure Steve looked after himself even during his worst times.

When Bucky had been found and joined him at the Tower, they both fell back into old routines. Except this time when they were hiding under the covers giggling about an older man calling them little pet names he had a face. And a name.

-----

Bucky had been living in the Tower full time for a year when things started to change. He'd been awake for about 27 hours now and he knew exactly what he was doing. Bucky and Clint were sat on the sofa watching some documentary and eating the cupcakes Thor made before heading off world. Clint was talking about his new weapons with his mouth full when Jarvis interrupted them.

"James, sir would like me to remind you that you have been awake for almost 28 hours and should go to sleep." It had taken months to convince the AI to call him anything other than Sargent. He hadn't asked Tony to change it though, Steve had made that mistake. Steve would blush and protest but Buck knew how much he loved the random pet names Tony came up with for him.

Clint gave him a look and wiggled his eyebrows. "Past your bedtime Barns? Daddy gonna come up here and put you to bed?"

Bucky tried not to react to that, but internally he was hoping that he did. So much so that if Clint hadn't reacted as well he would have thought he hallucinated Tony's voice.

"Yes."

Bucky's head whipped around so fast, he tried not to be disappointed when he realised that the voice came from the speakers. He wasn't pouting but he did pull he knees up to his chest and mumble that Tony can fuck off he wasn't a kid.

Clint left him then, not wanting to get between Tony and Bucky right now. Those three might like to think they are subtle but the rest of the team were well aware that Tony considers the two super soldiers his boys and that America's greatest love story is a pair of brats with a daddy kink a mile wide.

"James, sir has asked if he needs to come up there and drag you to bed himself. He also asked if the little kid wants to be tucked in?" James blushed at Jarvis telling Tony about his pouting.

It was taking a lot for Bucky not to tell the AI that yes actually Tony should come here and take him to bed, and then yes he would also like to be tucked in with Steve both cuddling around Tony. But he knew that Tony would probably freak out. Just because he and Steve have an overactive imagination doesn't mean the billionaire wants to be in a relationship with them.

The ding of the elevator had Bucky jumping to his feet. Nat gave him a funny look as she walked out and into the kitchen area. His face was still a little pale but he relaxed when he saw her.

"James?" It was always a wonder how Tony had programmed a sassy AI.

"I'm fine Jar." No one has ever accused James Bucky Barns of having any common sense. "Tell Daddy that I am off to bed."

He could hear Nat laughing as he walked towards the elevator.

A few floors below, Tony was choking on his coffee. Dum-E was whirling around beeping trying to see what the problem was, while mopping up the coffee that had come out of Tony's nose.

When Bucky entered his and Steve's bedroom he found the other man sat against the headboard sketching. Bucky threw himself onto the bed laying face down and grumbling against the sheets about Tony being a fucking tease and not knowing it.

Steve was able to make out most of what was being said and just laughed at his soulmate. "Isn't this what we wanted though Buck?" Steve and Bucky were used to being hounded to eat and sleep enough by the AI. He was also the biggest snitch if they tried to ignore medical advise after missions. Jarvis ordered for them anything they asked for or even implied they might need. Like the one time Steve had broken a paintbrush one morning only for a full set of the same brand to arrive that afternoon.

The team had expected the two boys who grew up in the depression to freak out over the price of things and refuse to take any of Tony's gifts. But they had a ruff idea of Tony's relationship with money from Howard. He had more than he could possibly spend in a dozen life times and using it to take care of people was how he showed his emotions.

"I might not have a perfect recollection of those times Stevie but I'm pretty sure those fantasies of what we wanted involved a lot of sex and a hell of a lot more attention! When was the last time you even saw Tony." It was a little unfair, Tony had been busy with SI things and it wasn't like he was theirs to make demands off anyway.

Suddenly Bucky sat up and grabbed Steve's face pulling it inches away from his own. Steve just raised his eyebrows a little shocked.

"Stevie my love, I have a plan." Steve suddenly remembered all the terrible ways Bucky's plans ended. From being spanked by his ma, to having to help Bucky clean goat shit from Shrui's lab in Wakanda.

[holylulusworld]

Deafening Silence

Summary: Steve and you are falling apart. Can you save your marriage?

Pairing: Nomad!Steve x fem!Reader

Characters: Bucky Barnes, Sharon Carter (mentioned), Tony Stark

Warnings: angst, language, unrequited love?, arguments, you and Steve go through a rough patch in your relationship, regrets, a hint of fluff, pissed reader, sadness

A/N: Not Endgame compliant. No one died, everyone is still alive and kicking.

Divider by @firefly-graphics​

Another cold night awaits you. Once upon a time you and Steve were undefeatable and, to be honest, sickening in love. Now you lie on the edge of the bed, try to not get too close to your husband as he always finds an excuse to not hold you in his arms any longer.

Tears well up to your eyes hearing him snore lightly next to you. Wondering if he’s losing sleep lately too but the way he peacefully sleeps tells you, he’s not letting his mind run wild.

“No sleep for me again, I guess,” silently leaving the bed you grasp one of his shirts to press it to your nose. It’s the only time you can catch his scent, so you take what you get. “Sleep well, Stevie. You don’t seem to have problems falling asleep.”

As so often lately, you walk out of the bedroom to grab a snack or watch nonsense on TV to take your mind of the problems right in front of you. Somewhere on the line you and Steve lost your love, or you lost Steve. You haven’t found out yet.

All you know is that the deafening silence between you and your husband is breaking you every day more.

“Can’t find sleep?” Bucky asks, watching you sit on one of the chairs in the kitchen. Steve invited his friend to sleep a few weeks at your guestroom as his apartment got blown up by one of New Hydra’s goons.

“I just-“ you bite your tongue, shaking your head every so lightly. You like Bucky, he’s your friend, but you can’t talk about Steve with him. He’s your husband’s best friend and would side with Steve over anyone. “Sometimes I got problems to fall asleep, is all,” you lie poorly.

“What about Steve?” searching your face Bucky nods silently. He can see your red-rimmed eyes and hear your tiny sighs whenever Steve ignores your present. “Maybe you want hot cocoa? I can make you some, doll.”

“No, it’s fine. I’ll just sit here for a while, ya know,” playing with your wedding band you don’t meet Bucky’s gaze, fearing he’ll see through your lie. “I just got a lot of things going on right now. We are back, work with Tony and the others again. Maybe we just need time to adapt.”

“If I can help, tell me so,” offering a cracked smile you nod, knowing you can’t take Bucky up to his offer. “You’re my friend too. How about we watch a movie and talk a bit?”

“I appreciate your offer, but I’m not in the mood to talk, Bucky,” sadly you are too tired and emotionally exhausted to even talk about the thing weighing heavy on your heart.

“Y/N,” walking toward Bucky places one hand onto your shoulder, squeezing it lightly. “Just talk to him, doll. Steve loves you and-“ you huff. It’s the first reaction he gets from you making clear you are hurt. 

“I don’t want to talk about it, him,” voice cracking you watch Bucky rummage in your kitchen to prepare cocoa for you. 

“You went through a lot together over the last years,” Bucky begins, eyes drifting toward you slumped in your chair. “Ultron, the accords, me,” you laugh when Bucky gives you a wink. “I know, I’m the most charming event rocking the boat but then there was the war between the Avengers, Thanos, the blip, and after that-”

“Steve told me he thought about going back to Peggy for a split-second, that life back then was easier and more-“ you try to find the right words but fail. “All I got was that he’s still a man out of time and that he’s sorry for considering going back.”

“Well, shit-“ Bucky grumbles. “I didn’t know, I swear. Here I stand, believing I know everything about my friend,” you shrug, watching Bucky prepare two mugs. “Did he at least apologize?”

“He did, more than once and I forgave, but never forgot,” sniffing you look at Bucky. “Since then, he started to distance himself from me. I feel like he regrets coming back to me, Bucky.” gasping you realize you just revealed your thoughts.

“Doll...”

“Please don’t tell him. I know Steve is a good man, but sometimes I think it would be easier for me if he just does what he has on his mind for months – file for divorce.”

“Anything from Steve?” watching Bucky check his phone you sigh deeply. Steve disappeared this morning, out of the blue. “Why didn’t he tell us about his mission? He always told me about his missions, confidential or not.”

“I got nothing either, doll,” grumbling Bucky sit on the couch, scrolling through his contacts. “Shall I call Tony or Natasha? Maybe they can fill us in why Stevie just grabbed a bag and left without telling us about his mission.”

“No,” biting your lower lip you wreck your brain. Maybe Steve did tell you about his mission? Lately, you are too lost in thoughts and self-doubts and barely listen if Steve finally talks to you. “I have work to do at the new tower. I will ask Tony if he can tell me about Steve’s whereabouts.”

“Okay,” wondering again Bucky looks at his phone, shaking his head at Steve’s message from last night. 

“Steve is not on a mission?” gaping at Tony you try to hide you can hear your heart pounding in your ears. “I thought he went on a mission last night. Did I confuse the date?”

“There is no mission for Capsicle,” Tony snickers. “According to my information, he took a week off. Said something about sorting things out. Honestly, I didn’t listen.”

“O-okay,” you swallow thickly, force a smile on your lips hurting your face. “I got it wrong then. I finished my reports. You should check on the sidenotes about the bank accounts. Maybe E.D.I.T.H. can check on the accounts later.”

“Y/N, is everything alright? You look a little shaken up or something,” Tony watches you fiddle with your phone, knowing something must be off with you and your husband. “Do you need my help? You know that you can tell me anything.”

“It’s nothing, really,” the lie rolls easily off your tongue, you are used to lying to yourself for months so why not lying to your friends too. “I just need some time off, Tony.”

Aimlessly walking the streets of New York, you doubt your husband once again.

Tony said he’s not on a mission. All of your friends don’t know where he could be and Bucky, well he said Steve didn’t tell him anything.

“Where are you Steve?” looking at your phone you sigh deeply. “Fine, we will do it the hard way. E.D.I.T.H., please use the tracking app we put on Steve’s phone. I need to find Captain America. It’s an emergency.”

“Tracing Captain Rogers’ phone,” E.D.I.T.H. replies. “Captain Rogers’ phone is not far away. He’s at a café, P.J. Clarke’s on 55th and 3rd, agent Rogers. Can I help you with anything else?”

“No, thank you,” walking faster you grip your phone tightly. Why is Steve at a café at that time of the day? He never disappeared only to take a day off and sip coffee.

If a heart can shatter, yours does in the very moment you arrive at the café only to see Steve sit at a table with Sharon Carter.

You haven’t seen her for years, but you must admit, she looks great as always.

“Stevie,” you whisper, hands clutched tightly to your chest when Sharon places her hand onto Steve’s on the table and he doesn’t move his hand away. He smiles, even chuckles at something the woman says. “A Carter again, how pathetic. Fuck that. Fuck fighting for our love if you refuse to even try.”

Unbeknownst you saw him with Sharon your husband tries to ask his friend for advice. Missing your pained expression and the tears run down your face when you storm off.

“Doll! Fuck I was worried about you. Tony called, asked if you are okay. He said Steve is not on a mission and that he took a week off,” Bucky watches you storm into your and Steve’s apartment. “Y/N, something wrong?”

“Everything is wrong, Bucky. But from now on, I’ll take my life back in my hands,” you quip. “I would appreciate it if you could get me my ‘I hate early mornings mug’, I want to take it with me,” walking toward your bedroom you ignore Bucky follows you.

“What do you mean by taking it with you?” while you get two suitcases out, Bucky tries to make you talk to him. “Do you want to go on a mission? Why so many suitcases?”

“Oh, Stevie was busy to take a week off while I was worried about him,” you quip, opening your drawer to grab random clothes, tossing Steve’s onto the floor. “Imagine my surprise when I traced his phone only to find him with another Carter.”

“Sharon?” humming you neatly fold your clothes to place them into the first suitcase. “Did he-?”

“No, but I guess Steve is just not man enough to file for divorce to be with her,” glaring at Bucky you make your way back toward the wardrobe to grab more clothes. “While I tried to save our marriage, Steve sits in a café and allowed that woman touch his hand. He smiled at her Bucky. I didn’t get a smile from him for months.”

“Doll, you can’t just leave without talking to him,” Bucky tries to stop you, but you made up your mind. Before you met Steve, you were wild, feisty, and stubborn but he tamed you and your free spirit. “Wait, let me call him.”

“I tried to call him this morning and after I saw him with that woman,” slamming the first suitcase shut you glare at Bucky. “He didn’t answer. It was his last chance to explain things to me, Bucky. Now I’m done waiting for Steve to tell me it is over, we are over.”

“What’s that?” looking at a neatly folded letter on your bed Steve feels his chest tightening. Your wedding band lies abandoned on the letter, but you are nowhere to be found.

“She saw you with Sharon yesterday. I guess taking off a week to meet up with an old flame and ignoring your wife called you about ten times wasn’t the smartest plan,” Bucky shrugs. “I called you too.”

“I need time to figure things out,” Steve sits on the bed, pressing the wedding band in his hand to his chest. “We went through a rough patch and I didn’t know how to fix things between Y/N and me.”

“Not talking to her and getting all cozy with Sharon was a great idea,” gritting the words out Bucky watches his friend unfold the letter with shaking fingers. “Steve.”

“I-I just didn’t know if Y/N still wants me after I admitted that I was tempted to go back to Peggy. She was distant for a few weeks and then, she almost clang to me. As if Y/N tried to fake she forgave me,” reading the letter Steve sniffles silently. “Oh, god she wants to file for divorce.”

“What?” grasping for the letter Bucky reads the last lines you wrote.

‘As you aren’t man enough to tell me that you don’t love me anymore, I will tell you it’s over. You don’t have to be the bad guy, Captain. The papers will reach you soon. Have a great life with Sharon…’

“Do you know where she went, Bucky?” jumping up Steve looks for his keys, already grasping for his phone to call you back. “Buck!”

“She came here, packed two suitcases, and left. I tried to stop her, but she didn’t listen, Steve. I don’t think Y/N will call you back.”

“Then I’ll have to find her, no matter what…”

“A whole month!” Steve waltzes into your apartment, panting heavily. His hair longer again, a thick beard framing his face he wraps you in a hug. “I was so worried, doll. How could you just leave without a trace?”

“Didn’t think you would miss me, Steven,” using his full name on purpose, you smirk as Steve flinches. “I believed Sharon would soothe the pain and fill the tiny gap I left in your life.”

“Y/N,” mumbling your name Steve pecks your hair while his hands run up and down your back. “I swear, I’m not with Sharon and I don’t want her, doll. When you saw me with her, I gave her something Peggy left for me. It was the first step to give up my past.”

“You held hands, and you smiled at her, Steven. Don’t lie to me,” you push against his chest, try anything to break out of his embrace. “I’m not stupid nor blind.”

“She grasped for my hand as I gave her the medallion Peggy left me. I smiled as she thanked me, and we remembered the last days with Peggy. Y/N, please believe me there is nothing between me and Sharon,” Steve desperately tries to not let you slip out of his embrace, but you fight him with all your strength.

“That’s the reason you take a week off and instead of having dinner with me, you meet up with that woman. Your former girlfriend,” you growl, pushing against Steve’s chest. “I tried to fix us, and you just ran off.”

“I wanted to clear my mind,” Steve mumbles. “I was afraid you are still mad at me for admitting that I thought about going back in time for Peggy for a second. I’m bad at admitting my feelings. I was afraid to lose you and handled it the wrong way.”

“Pushing me away to keep me was a great plan,” you give up fighting Steve’s strength, hating he’s so much stronger than you are once again. “You hurt me and now you come here and want me to do what?”

“Please come home, doll,” pecking your forehead Steve mumbles apologies against your skin. “Your husband is an idiot when it comes to feelings. I love you, love you so much. We need to work on our marriage but please don’t give up on us.”

“Like you did months ago?” cursing under your breath you glare at Steve when he tries to kiss you. “Fixing things between us won’t be that easy, Steve. You hurt me with your behavior. If you want me to come back, you’ll have to do more than coming here and looking like the man I’ve missed.”

“I’ve missed you too, doll,” pecking your lips Steve slides his fingers through your hair. “Please come home and I’ll do anything you want me to do. Tell me how to fix us.”

“Maybe Bucky can give you advice,” you smirk, breaking out of Steve’s embrace to walk into your living room. “He’s a man who can talk with a woman.”

“When did Bucky talk to you? Doll?” while you check on your phone Steve starts to pace your living room. “Did he touch my girl?”

“Why would your best friend touch me, Stevie?” you coo. “I mean, Sharon only touched your hand, right. There is no reason for me to be mad. What if Bucky did the same or Tony? Maybe Sam hugged me a bit longer than necessary.”

“I will kill them,” Steve balls his hands into fists, stares daggers into the picture of you and the team. “Tell me who dared to touch my wife,” nostrils flaring, chest heaving up and down Steve points at the picture. 

“See,” you walk toward your husband, placing your hand onto his heart before you meet his gaze. “That’s how I felt when you let that woman touch you. You gave her my smile while you ignored me.”

“I didn’t ignore you; it was just-“ sighing Steve hangs his head low. “I get it, doll and I’m sorry. If you give me a chance to prove that I can be the man you deserve, I’ll try to do so every day from now on…”

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[simsadventures]

Panopticon: Chapter 27: War Path

Alpha Steve x Omega Reader

Summary: Steve is livid and tries to find you but somebody keeps putting obstacles in his way. You, on the other hand, get to meet the devils and learn some harsh truths.

Warnings: a/b/o dynamics, angst, abduction, slight mentions of torture, life in captivity, lying, swearing, mentions of violence against women, shitty people in general, loads of feels, I would hope, mentions of suicide, mentions of death

Word Count: 3800

A/N: Du dun… Who is ready for some angst? Many of you weren’t happy that we’re taking this route, but it needed to happen because the world is full of assholes who try to make people unhappy. Anyway, so excited about this one, and I can’t wait for you to tell me what you thought. Love you all!! xx

Series Masterlist __ Masterlist 

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“That won’t help to find my Omega, so no!” Steve yelled across the whole room, and even the experienced Alpha fighters gathered in the room couldn’t help but shudder at Steve’s authoritative voice. They were trying to help, coming up with new ideas to try and bring the Circle down, or at least make somebody from the inside communicate with them to tell Steve and his team the location of his Omega. But no idea was good enough for Steve. 

It had been four days. Four days without his precious Omega, and Steve felt like he was slowly losing his mind. He desperately needed you next to him, just to feel your warm, soft skin pressed against his, or to see the light in your eyes whenever you looked at him. But he had nothing. 

He often saw broken Alphas after all that went down on Earth a few years ago, and while he couldn’t really imagine what they must have been feeling at that time, walking like dead men, some of them on the brink of death because they just couldn’t handle their lives without their loved ones, Steve understood it all now. 

He knew he had to concentrate because he felt you in his veins, felt that you were alright considering the circumstances and, most importantly, that you were still alive. That was the sole reason why he didn’t end it yet. But he was hanging on a thread because each day and night he had to spend without you, his mind was going just a little more insane. He was hearing your voice and this morning, he even saw you standing by the bed. He was elated, but when he blinked a few more times, he realised that it was his brain playing tricks on him and that none of what had happened was just a nightmare. 

Moreover, he had to orchestrate a funeral for Peter and Gamora. The sadness over their loss was embedded deep in Steve’s soul, and he knew he would never get over it, even if he got you back. When he got you back, he scolded himself every time he thought of it, but it was to no avail. The desperation and pain seeped deep into his bones, and the once positive Alpha, who used to be full of life was just a walking shell of numbness. 

Sam and Bucky tried to pick up the mood in the room now and then, but they knew all too well that there was nothing they could say or do to make the situation better. The only thing Steve really needed was to get you back, and they empathised with him. Moments after the realisation hit them that you were indeed gone, they rushed to their own huts to check on their own mates. Their bonds felt fine, but the fucked-up situation got into their heads, and they needed to see their loves for themselves. Both Meera and Tina were sitting comfortably in their houses, unaware of the terror going on just mere meters away from them. They all spent the afternoon scenting and crying, their hearts clenching for their friend who was lost in his thoughts and his pain. 

But Steve tried to come up with a solution. He knew Rumlow would take you somewhere far, but not far enough not to brag about it. The circle was almost a day drive so Steve would have bet Rumlow’s hiding place was somewhere between his own house and the hell house they called the Omega haven. But that was still too much land to cover just by foot or by car, since there were so many abandoned houses and warehouses, not even talking about all the hidden places deep in the forests. So, just going somewhere blindly was not an option. 

Then, he thought of using what was left of the functioning camera system between the city and his lands, trying to see if he could pinpoint at least the direction where Rumlow and his team went. But he came up with nothing since most of the cameras had been destroyed soon after the war had started. 

Steve even thought of taking some military dogs and making them sniff your clothes to find you, but that would mean hundreds of kilometres to search, and that was just impossible. Every single thing Steve came up with was a nonsense, and the longer he couldn’t figure out how to find you, the more desperate and angry he had become. His people knew it was nothing personal, but his yelling and blaming was sometimes too difficult to bear for any of them. Steve knew he was being a dick, and he apologised every time his nerves got the better of him, but it was like he couldn’t do anything about it. 

It was when Bucky spoke up with a guilty look that Steve finally got a good idea from somebody. Not that he particularly liked it, but it was something useful at last, and Steve was actually quite angry with himself for not thinking of it sooner. The idea was to call Peggy because she was always able to find Rumlow a little easier than the rest of the world. How that worked exactly Steve never asked, because Peggy was one of those who kept their work pretty shut, and she wouldn’t brag or even talk about it, so Steve had barely any idea of what Peggy really did. There used to be times when he minded when it drove him up the wall, but not anymore. He didn’t care how she did it, the only thing Steve needed was to get you back. 

He called her almost immediately, listening to her smooth voice as she assured him that she would devote a majority of her time to help him because, after all, she still cared for him very much. Steve thanked her from the bottom of his heart and resolved to wait for her to come back to him since there was literally nothing else to do for him but to wallow in his pain. 

Surprisingly, it only took a few hours for Peggy to reach out and tell Steve that she might have found him. His heart started beating like crazy as if feeling that he might be getting you in his arms sooner than he expected. Peggy told him that she got the memo that Rumlow was hiding in an old warehouse south of the manor, around 70 kms away, and Steve just growled, knowing he was kind of right in his assumptions. He quickly gathered his team, not really speaking much, but they all understood. This was a life or death mission because most of the team was sure Steve wouldn’t survive that if they didn’t find you. 

Steve pretty much jumped out of a moving car when they neared the building, and he got to work immediately, going into the commander mode, assigning roles and talking strategy for when they would come in contact with Rumlow’s team. Everything was meticulously planned, and Steve had a good feeling about that. The only issue was that he couldn’t smell you. But he simply thought that he was still far enough to be able to do that and that they were probably keeping you in some shutoff room.

The closer to the building they got, however, the weirder the whole situation felt. No men were standing outside on the lookout, there were no specific smells to tell the team that there were indeed people hiding inside, and when they finally got in, they found the place completely empty. 

They rummaged through all the rooms, even in the basement and on the roof, but the only thing they got was some cloth lightly smelling like Rumlow, but not enough to tell them how long ago he was at the warehouse. Steve screamed in frustration because there was no sign of you, not even a hint of your smell that he so helplessly craved. 

Bucky and Sam shared distressed looks before they each grabbed Steve from one side and brought him back to the car, hollering at the whole team that the mission was over and that they needed to come back home. Steve didn’t speak the entire ride back, just staring out of the window, thinking of all the times you two would take such rides to and from the city, always discussing new books or just sharing stories from your youths. Steve now found that he took these moments for granted. He enjoyed them, sure, but not enough. There was the nagging voice telling him that he should have done more, that he ought to have taken you with him to that fucking meeting, and none of this would have happened. 

“Stop it, punk. None of this is your fault so stop with the self-blaming and call Peggy to tell you what the fuck happened that her tip wasn’t true,” Bucky interjected Steve’s thoughts, and as many times before, Steve wondered whether Bucky could just read him like an open book or if he had a direct link to his brain. Steve shook his head and dialled the number. 

“So, happily ever after?” Peggy said smugly, and if she stood anywhere near Steve, he swore he would have hit her. 

“Nothing and nobody’s fucking happy, Peggy. Nobody was there except for some piece of cloth that was supposed to smell like Rumlow. Who the fuck gave you this tip? I need to find my Omega, and I don’t have the time to drive around the city and march into every single abandoned building just because you have a hunch. I need real information, Peggy, and if you can’t give that to me, then you’re just wasting my time,” Steve said more tiredly than anything else, but Peggy’s face contorted in annoyance on the other end of the line. 

“I never waste your time, Stevie, you remember that. Look, I thought the info was top-notch, but I’ll keep looking. How about I come to your place, and we can think of a plan together?” 

“Yeah, yeah whatever, it definitely can’t harm us. I’ll be expecting you,” Steve sighed and hung up, nodding at Sam who was watching him through the rearview mirror. 

“Peggy said she’d come and help from the mansion. I mean, I’d rather have the whole fucking team together looking for Y/N, but I can’t fly everyone here from god-knows-where, so anyone who wants to join in is welcomed.” 

Sam nodded but didn’t like it one bit. He understood that Steve was desperate, but Peggy was and had always been bad news, and Sam had a hard time trusting her even back in the days when they had to fight side to side. All the secrecy surrounding her just stank, and Sam was sure he’d keep an eye on her, just in case. He wanted everything to go over smoothly for Steve, and nobody needed a sneaky bitch who would throw them under a train the second she got a better deal from the opposing side. 

You let your hand slide on the ground underneath you. It was rough with what felt like small rocks that were cutting you in the palm. You were seated, and your whole body hurt since you have been in this position for hours. Nobody talked to you since they killed your friends and abducted you. They just blindfolded you and tied you up, changing positions every few hours probably to disorient you since you doubted anybody really cared how comfortable you were. All you could do was rely on your senses and learn as much about your surroundings as you could. You weren’t even sure why you cared, but your brain couldn’t take thinking about anything related to Steve, so you busied it by making sure you knew everything you could. 

You learned that there were three places they would keep you in. You presumed that they were all in one room, but they changed whether you were sitting or lying down. You weren’t even sure what time it was and slept when they put you laid you down. Nobody ever touched you inappropriately, and that’s how you assumed not one of those people was Rumlow. 

The first place they would let you sit in was in an old crinkly chair made of rough wood as you had a few splinters from rubbing your hands against the arm-holders. It had four metal legs, and from the sounds, it made every time you shifted, you thought it was a rather old and overused piece of furniture. 

The second place was where you were sitting now. It was by the wall, which was cold and smelt of moss, and you even though you sensed death a few times, you knew that was just your exhausted brain playing games with you. The ground was full of rocks and shards of glass, so it was your least favourite place to be of the three. The ground was colder than all the other areas, and every time they made you stand up, there was a wet patch where your ass touched the ground as the coldness accumulated against your hot body, making you wish you could just change. But your abductees would never answer to your pleas, so after what you assumed were a few days, you just gave up asking them altogether. 

The third place was a makeshift bed, created out of a few pieces of wood pushed together and an old and smelly mattress. You tried to ignore all that the smell evoked in you, but you sometimes choked on your own saliva as you shifted and changed position, getting another whiff of what smelt like a hundred of butts and sweat. But it was a mattress, and you could get a few hours of sleep, so you couldn’t dwell on the details. 

When you found out everything there was with your surroundings you tried to pay attention to your abductors. And while you couldn’t say precisely how many there were, you had a pretty good idea. As you were an Omega, blindfolded and cuffed, they always came alone, and you recognised each of the people by their steps. There were four of them, each of them having differences in their weight, the length of their steps and the carefulness with which they handled you. That’s how you came up with the number of four. 

Number two was by far your favourite. They (you assumed it was a he but you couldn’t be sure) would always leave you alone even when you needed to use the bathroom. You knew they were in the room, but they had the decency to at least not physically touch you, and, in your mind, you created this picture that the person even turned around to leave you to do your business. They would also give you the biggest amount of water, seeing how you were parched because number four was a complete asshole and would always allow only a gulp before he drastically took the cup away from your mouth. 

And that was your days, filled with diverting your brain from thinking about the graver questions, like where were you, would Steve ever find you, what did they want from you, etc. Every time any of those popped up in your head, you choked up, and had to start touching your surroundings or else you’d have gone insane by now. 

It was when number three was supposed to come and let you sleep that you heard it. It was faint, but your ears perked up at anything that wasn’t your own breath or the sound of boots of your abductors hitting the ground. And this was neither. These were human voices talking about something behind the door. Your heart-rate picked up immediately because, while you hated the routine of four guards and three positions, you also knew that routine was good. Anything that was out of the routine could possibly mean death to you, and you tried to do anything to avoid that. The voices grew nearer, and you shuddered involuntarily, bracing yourself. 

When the door opened, the cold air hit your face, and you hid it between your shoulder blades. 

“Well, well, well, here is the famous Omega the world is searching for. You look so pathetic, it’s actually quite funny,” you heard a female voice say, and your brows knitted together. You heard it before, you just couldn’t place the voice for the life of you. 

“Yeah, well, the sooner she stops pining for that pathetic excuse of an Alpha and becomes mine, she will look much better. I mean, not that anybody’s gonna see her since she is just an Omega pussy, but she is my Omega pussy, so,” the man trailed off, and you didn’t have to think to place this voice. This voice haunted your worst nightmares, so you were pretty familiar with it. 

Rumlow

“Whatever, Rumlow. All we need is to get rid of her mating mark, and we’ll be good. Steve called me and found the warehouse where I sent him empty, and I, as a devoted friend, told him I’d help him from the mansion so I’ll have easy access to him and I will divert him from here if need be. You just need to do what you must so that I can have him back,” the woman spat, and it was as if a light bulb switched on. God, you felt stupid for not suspecting she had her ugly fingers in this. Fucking Peggy who obviously wanted Steve back even when she visited him all those months ago. 

And while it was nice that Steve didn’t feel the same, this woman was clearly a maniac, and she wouldn’t stop at anything to get what she wanted. 

But, there was one more thing that caught your attention. They wanted to get rid of your mating mark, and the thought paralysed your whole body. There were only a few ways to do that to any mated couple, and none of them was humane or accepted by most people. You’ve heard of Omegas trying to sever their bonds as they didn’t like who chose them, and so they cut a clean line across their mark, but even then the bond couldn’t be severed completely. There was also the option of just biting an Omega hard enough where their mates’ mark was, and trying to beat mark with a mark. 

You also heard that true mates were inseparable, and while Bruce told you that you were true mates, you could never know for sure. The inseparableness of true mates could just as well be some old maid tales, it was one of the things your mother used to tell you, but you had no idea where the truth was. 

The only thing you did know was that however they wanted to do it, you would go through hell, both physically and mentally, and that there was a more than likely chance that you would die in the process. 

“You’re not afraid she’ll die on you?” Peggy asked more curious than concerned because, for her plan to work, your ties with Steve had to be cut. She would have preferred killing you since it was easier, quicker and with long-lasting results. But Rumlow had been obsessed with you ever since he lost the fight with Steve back at the Circle. When Peggy heard about it, she just scoffed and told him he was an idiot, because if he would have called her, she could have just snuck you out without anyone knowing and they wouldn’t have been in this mess. 

“I mean, there’s always the possibility, but I’m not letting her run around with his mark. I wouldn’t like pounding a pussy marked by somebody else. Besides, she’s stronger than she looks, isn’t it right, pussycat?” Rumlow asked, for the first time addressing you. But you knew better than to talk, so you just remained quiet, and from the low hum coming from his mouth, you assumed it was a good decision. 

“And what if that bullshit about true mates is real?” 

“Oh, please, not you too. Nothing like true mates exists, Peggy, I told you. Some just smell nicer to particular individuals than others, that’s it. I don’t even know why we’re losing time talking about this. Go and do whatever you want with Steve and his estate and I’ll just do what I want with this one,” Rumlow rumbled, and the next thing you heard was the clicking of high-heels against the hard floor, leaving you alone in the room with the devil. 

“Now, sweetheart, I think we should begin, hm?”

“Oh, Stevie, you don’t look good. Here, let me bring you to your bedroom so you can rest and the team and I will search for your mate in the meantime, hm?” Peggy suggested nicely, and Steve nodded, happy there was somebody who could possibly save you. But before she put her claws on his arm, Sam appeared out of nowhere and stopped her hand. She hissed like a cat and Sam gave her an are-you-fucking-kidding-me look. 

“I think it would be better if you stayed down here, Peggy, as you said, you are such a valuable asset to this team that I wouldn’t want to you to waste your time by going with Steve here. I will accompany him to his bedroom so that he can get some sleep, and, meanwhile, you can work with Bucky,” Sam smirked but didn’t wait for her response as he led Steve towards the staircase and up to his bedroom. There was no fucking way in hell Sam would let Peggy be with Steve alone. And since he shared his worries with Bucky, there were two of them looking out for their best friend, which left Peggy in a tough position. 

She watched Sam and Steve leave the room, and Bucky would laugh hadn’t it been such a delicate situation, because Peggy really looked like the Goddess of Revenge. That just further proved Sam’s theory about Peggy being fishy, to say the least, and Bucky was starting to question whether she didn’t have something to do with your disappearance. 

Peggy saw right through them, and she smirked to herself. If they wanted to play games with her, so be it. She would get Steve alone and inject the serum in him she had been making for so long, and they would finally live happily ever after. Just like they were supposed to. All she needed was to stay close to Steve for a couple of days, get him alone enough times, and he would be all hers. 

/ Next Chapter > 

Tags will be in reblogs xx

[deliciousangelfestival]

Loving You Is Too Difficult - Chapter 2

Chapter 2 - 3,000 Miles

The second chapter inspired from song by CHAMP - 3,000 Miles

Character: Steve Rogers x Reader

Word Count: 1,049

Timeline : After Civil War and Inifinity Wars. 

A/N: In this chapter, we will see from Steve point of view. 

The divider made by the talented @firefly-graphics​

Check out : Chapter 1​

Steve P.O.V

‘SLAP’

His cheeks got slapped by the woman he loved. 

Even though the slap won’t hurt because of his super serum, his heart is falling to pieces. 

He saw your tears start to fall; your lips are trembling. It looks like you gather all your strength to say these hurtful words “It’s over.”

Steve could feel his world start to crumble. 

But this is the price he has to pay. 

He wishes that he could fix everything. 

His hate becomes the reason why you are crying.

You used to smile and look at him with adoration.

‘How did we end up here?’

####

Steve remembered the first time he heard your name from Tony. 

After the NY attack, Tony told his new friend about his baby sister.

For the first time, Steve saw Tony acted as a proud parent. 

Finally, the day had come when Tony introduced you to the team. 

He fell in love at first sight with you. 

He heard you playing a song that he was familiar with before he crashed the plane at the party. 

He immediately imagines you and him for slow dancing. 

He tries his best to keep his cool when he approaches you.

He felt his heart could burst out from his chest when you smiled at him. It felt like he could build a new chapter with you in this era. 

But it seems like his past is always chasing him. 

When he found out that Bucky is alive, he must admit that he spends his time finding his friends. 

Then he found the truth about your parents—Howard and Maria’s death caused by Buck when he got brainwashed by Hydra.

This is the first thing he hides from you. 

He knows you notice something, he wants to tell you the truth, but Steve’s afraid to hurt you. 

You are precious to him. 

But will you forgive him?

Then he got an image that Wanda put on his brain. He saw him dancing with Peggy. 

He felt guilty because he didn't see you in that dream. 

But it felt so right. 

When he heard Peggy said he could go home.

Can he? But which one?

After the team defeated Ultron, both of you became busy. 

You were also getting more involved to help Tony. 

He thought he could shake the odd feeling about wanting to go home.

Back to his time. 

Then-Secretary Ross came with the Sokovian Accord. 

His mind had occupied how to deal with the Accord because it seems like the team already split when he got the text message about Peggy. 

Steve felt some part of him went missing. 

When he got home and saw you, he felt like he’s cheating on you. 

You are close to him but his mind is thinking of Peggy instead of you. 

He knew you felt uncomfortable every time he mentioned Peggy’s name. At first, he thought you looked cute or jealous of him.

But now he realized you despised it. 

When he left your shared apartment, it felt like a goodbye. 

After Peggy’s funeral, he knew he fucked up. 

First, his plan to catch Bucky backfired when T’Challa caught them. 

Second, when he kissed Sharon. 

Third, when he hurt Tony and left him alone at the abandoned lab. 

He is supposed to call you, but he doesn’t want you to be involved in this mess. 

He felt guilty. The fact that his friend was the reason your parents were dead.

He’s afraid to tell you the truth. 

####

‘How did we end up here?’

He started this mess; he was the one who was supposed to finish it. 

It's too much for you to handle. He understands it.

But deep down, he doesn’t want you to give up on him. 

“I…” 

You lift your hands and step backward. “Stop. I know. You don’t have to say it.”

It hurt seeing you walk away.

“I hope it’s all worth it.” You wiped away your tears; Steve wished he could kiss away all your sadness. 

He’s unable to say goodbye, but you did. 

“Goodbye, Steve.”

Part of him died when you said those words. 

Everything he had done to protect you from all his mess, it’s all useless. 

Because in the end, he’s the one who ended up hurting you. 

He wants you to hold on for a while.

But he’s too late. 

After you left as you flew into the bright blue sky, the words that he wanted to say finally came out, “I love you, please don't hate me.” 

.

.

.

Time goes by, it feels like yesterday, but it's been two years since the team split. 

No one knows what state he’s in. He, Sam, and Natasha have been traveled worldwide to make sure no one uses the Chiaturi technology. 

But he continuously checks on you through Natasha if you are alright. 

If you have moved on. 

He wished you to call him; if you do, he won’t hesitate to come back. 

The hell with the accords and Ross. He thought.

Seems like his selfish wish got answered when he got a call from Tony asking him for help. 

He, Sam, and Natasha went to get Wanda and Vision. 

To be honest, when he arrived at the Avengers compound, he wished you were there. 

Rhodey seems to notice that he was looking for you "(Y/N) is performing at the charity in Los Angeles."

Steve felt relieved knowing that you are okay. 

He thought after dealing with Thanos, he has a chance to fix everything with you. 

But turned out their opponent is too strong. 

They couldn't win. After the fight with Thanos and the snap, he felt lost. 

If you also turn into dust, he has lost everything. 

He wants to give up until he saw you arrive with Pepper at the compound. 

He felt relieved; even after the significant loss, at least he still has you. His body move by itself to bring you into his arms. 

He felt a different kind of wave hit him. The warmth you gave to him, he missed this. 

You didn’t say anything. Instead, you push your body away from him. 

He could feel the cold treatment from you. 

Break up will leave a wound, and that’s his fault.

He deserves it. 

"Where's Tony?"

When you asked for your brother, he felt guilty. 

If not because of his righteousness and his disagreement with using a weapon for protection, the earth at least could defend itself from Thanos. 

Tony was right.

When Denver came back with a spaceship with Tony, he was stunned seeing his friend look so skinny. 

He saw you crying while hugging your brother. You hug him tightly. 

Steve wonder if you would do the same to him. 

You didn't cry when you saw him. 

You didn't even hug him. 

Steve stops his resentment; he doesn’t have the privilege to be jealous. 

Both of you are standing close, but he felt like you are 3,000 thousand miles away. 

If he asked you to forgive him, this time won’t you take a chance?

[iam93percentstardust]

hey alle, so for the prompts i'd love some cute and funny winteriron with bucky wanting to impress tony with his cooking, but tony being a very picky eater. which leads to a lot of frustration on bucky's side, and obliviousness on what is even going on from tony's. if you feel like it. thank you! <3

Here it is! The long-awaited His Girl FRIDAY remix! I hope you love this as much as I do!

As always, everything I write is on ao3 too

~

The first time Bucky left food in Tony’s workshop and come back to find it untouched, he’d figured it was a fluke. Tony had probably been caught up in a zone—like Steve had warned him about when Bucky had decided he was going to woo Tony with food—and hadn’t noticed the food was even there.

The second time, he made sure to catch Tony’s attention as he was dropping off the plate—lasagna because Natalia had said Tony’s mother was Italian and Bucky made a pretty decent lasagna if he did say so. Tony had glanced at him and then at the plate before turning away with a slightly bewildered frown. Bucky had taken the frown to mean that no one else had ever bothered before to take care of Tony, which was a fact that had just about broken his heart, and left the plate there. He’d gone back later that night to find the lasagna untouched. That had been a little harder to explain away, but he’d eventually decided that maybe Tony was one of those food snobs who only liked Italian food made by actual Italians.

The third time he made oatmeal with a little bit of honey and cream, perfect for someone with as much of a sweet tooth as Tony had, and brought it into the workshop for Tony, who had spent the entire night working on new arrows for Clint.

“Tony?” he called softly, not wanting to startle him. Tony was uncomfortable enough with all the new people moving into the tower after everything with SHIELD and Hydra; being Hydra’s pet assassin, he didn’t want to make it worse by sneaking up on him. “I brought you some breakfast.”

Tony popped up from underneath a table, visibly brightening. “Oh good,” he said cheerfully, making grabby hands at the bowl. “I was just starting to get hungry.” His hair was mussed, two perfect rings of black smeared around his eyes, likely where the goggles currently perched on top of his head had been resting earlier.

Bucky smiled at the adorable display and held out the bowl. Tony eagerly grabbed it, only to blink at it as soon as he saw what was in it.

“Oatmeal?” he asked delicately.

“I thought you’d appreciate having something a little more delicate after not eating for a while,” Bucky explained.

“…Oh.” After another awkward moment, Tony said carefully, “Thanks.”

Satisfied, Bucky left him to his work. This time—this time—Tony would eat it all and then he’d see what an amazing cook Bucky was and how he would absolutely be able to provide for Tony and then he’d swoon into Bucky’s arms and demand that Bucky take him right there.

Okay maybe not right there—the workshop didn’t seem like the best location for amorous activities—but that was why they called it a fantasy, right?

Too bad Tony punctured that fantasy like a balloon.

Bucky went back downstairs long to pick up the bowl after Tony had come up to the common areas, yawning widely and telling everyone he was heading to bed for the next twenty-four hours so don’t bother him unless New York was on fire. It had been a bit of a disappointment that he’d just nodded at Bucky without saying anything about the breakfast or about his everlasting feelings for him, but not nearly as much of a disappointment to walk into the workshop to find the bowl as untouched as all the other meals he’d so painstakingly prepared.

~

“I don’t get it,” he whined to Sam later that day. “I’m a good cook.”

Sam gave him an unimpressed look. “Are you sure? It’s been, what, seventy years since the last time you made anything. Maybe you’re not as good as you used to be.”

Bucky gasped dramatically. “You take that back!”

“No. You promised me you’d offer dating advice with Natasha and instead you’re sitting here mooning over Tony’s ass again so I’ll say whatever I like about your cooking.”

“Sorry,” he muttered guiltily. Sam was right. He had promised that. Or, rather, Steve had promised advice and Bucky had taken one look at him still pining over Peggy and feeling weird about his current interest being Peggy’s niece (a valid way to feel) and declared him hopeless before telling Sam that he would help him out instead. After all, he remembered Natalia from the years she’d spent training with him during her childhood. Who else would be more qualified to teach Sam how to woo her? Well, besides Clint obviously, but he was taking some personal time away from the team.

“She likes the ballet,” he said. “She wanted to be a ballerina when she was younger, said they were as graceful as any Widow only they didn’t have to kill.”

“And you’re sure that won’t just make her sad?” Sam asked dubiously.

Bucky glared at him. “I might not like you very much—” Sam rolled his eyes—"But I like Natalia a whole lot. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt her. Take her to the ballet and take Steve and Sharon while you’re at it. A double date will help her feel less trapped and maybe Steve will stop moping and ask Sharon out.”

“It’s a little weird, you know.”

“Sure, but he kissed Peggy once and it’s not like he’s ever gonna go back to the war and live out the rest of his time there, so he might as well move on.”

Sam laughed. “Guess that’s true.” He sighed, smile fading away. “I don’t know why Tony’s ignoring your meals. Sorry about that though. It sucks.”

“If I may,” JARVIS cut in. Both of them jumped, though Bucky would deny to his dying day that he yelped. Sam, on the other hand, shrieked like a kid and Bucky reminded himself to go back and access the audio footage so he would have blackmail.

“Sorry, JARVIS,” he apologized. “Keep forgetting you’re up there. Didn’t exactly have AI back during the war.”

“Or even in other houses,” Sam added.

“My apologies,” JARVIS said, and he’ll be damned if JARVIS didn’t sound extremely apologetic. It was incredible, really, how much life Tony imbued in his creations. “I only wanted to offer my advice about Sergeant Barnes’ attempts at wooing Sir.”

“Oh yeah?” Bucky asked. “Go right ahead. Can’t be any worse than any of the other advice I’ve gotten.” Seriously, Clint had even suggested truth serum, like that wasn’t the worst idea ever suggested.

“Sir is an extremely picky eater,” JARVIS explained. “He does not enjoy cooked tomatoes, ricotta cheese, or the texture of oatmeal.”

…All of which had been in at least one of the meals he’d prepared for Tony.

“Fuck.”

JARVIS wryly said, “Indeed.”

“Why didn’t you tell me this earlier?”

“You requested that I remain inactive on your floor while you were recovering. But you’re in Sergeant Wilson’s quarters at the moment so I may share my expertise.”

He had said that, hadn’t he? It had been in the early days when he was still having trouble remembering what he’d said moments earlier, but he had a vague recollection of being overwhelmed by the idea of constant monitoring and asking if JARVIS could be turned off.

“Wow, way to go, Barnes,” Sam commented, hiding a grin behind his hand.

“Fuck,” he said again, more emphatically. “Best tool at my disposal and I’m not even using it. JARVIS, I bet you could tell me all sorts of things about Tony.”

He got the impression that if the AI could sniff, he would have. “I would not dare to air Sir’s ‘dirty laundry’ so to speak.”

“No, no,” Bucky said, waving his metal hand. The hand made a concerning grinding sound and he frowned. That wasn’t supposed to happen. He’d probably need to ask someone to take a look at it. Sam was capable of performing basic maintenance, and Bucky trusted him not to sabotage the arm, but anything worse and he’d have to go ask Tony about it.

“Not what I meant,” he continued. “Just that you could tell me what Tony likes and doesn’t like. Uh, how do I turn you back on in my floor?”

“Your request is sufficient,” JARVIS said.

“Great. I’ll meet you up there in a bit. We’re gonna make something so incredible Tony will have to fall in love with me.”

“Yeah, good luck with that,” Sam said, kicking his feet up onto the newly vacated spot on the couch now that Bucky was standing. “I’m going to see if I can find reasonably priced tickets to the ballet.”

Bucky blinked. “I think you’re gonna have worse luck than me.”

Sam threw a shoe at him.

~

On JARVIS’ advice, he baked blueberry muffins because those were apparently Tony’s favorite fruit. Bucky didn’t really understand it. Frankly, he thought blueberries were almost as bad as bananas—nasty, taste-changing fruit that they were—but if Tony loved them, then he would be willing to have them in his kitchen for as long as it took to bake the muffins. Fortunately, he was just as good a baker as he was a cook, so it was a breeze to whip up a delicious batch that had him grateful he couldn’t get salmonella from the mix.

Unfortunately, Tony hated the muffins. Or that’s what Bucky gathered when he went to pick the plate up, hoping that it would be empty for the first time, and found it just as untouched as everything else had been.

“What the fuck, JARVIS?” he complained. “You said he liked blueberries.”

“I don’t know, Sergeant Barnes,” JARVIS said, sounding as baffled as Bucky felt. “Sir has always appreciated them.”

That, Bucky reflected later that night, was possibly to be expected. For all that JARVIS had the inhuman ability to remember literally everything he’d ever seen or heard, he was still just a program. He couldn’t necessarily extrapolate about preferences or tastes. For all either of them knew, Tony did like blueberries but didn’t like muffins or something. It didn’t really explain why JARVIS knew that Tony didn’t like cooked tomatoes, but maybe that could be explained by Tony mentioning it out loud and the other stuff, JARVIS had had to figure out on his own.

He sat up in bed, thinking about it. Maybe that was it: Tony didn’t like muffins. But there had to be other recipes out there that used blueberries that Tony would like. In fact, he was pretty sure he’d come across a blueberry cupcake with brown butter frosting recipe earlier that day. And Bucky didn’t know anyone who could say no to his brown butter. He was incredible at it, and that was being modest. Just the other day, Thor had declared the brown butter sauce he’d made for their chicken to be worthy of an Asgardian feast. Thor was a god. He probably knew things like that.

“JARVIS, you up?” he asked into the dark room.

“Always, Sergeant Barnes.”

“You don’t gotta keep callin’ me that. Bucky’s my name. I’d rather answer to that.”

“Very well, Bucky.”

“Could you pull up some other recipes with blueberries in the flavor profile please? Filter out anything that has something Tony doesn’t like and recipes similar enough to each other that they could be repeats, uh, let’s say anything with a higher than 85% similarity.”

When JARVIS was finished compiling his list, there was a lot less than what Bucky had hoped for, but it was still something he could work with. He looked through the list: cupcakes, pancakes, cookies, more than a few salads, something called a Panzanella. He starred the ones he thought would catch Tony’s interest the most, putting the others aside to possibly try later down the road. Content with his plan, he laid back down, falling asleep within seconds of his head hitting the pillow.

~

None of it worked. Despite his supposed love for blueberries, Tony continued to turn away everything Bucky made for him. So he branched out, trying other foods that JARVIS said Tony was fond of. Nothing came back with more than a couple bites taken out of it and Tony had taken to giving him worried looks every time he appeared at the workshop door with another plate. Bucky was starting to lose hope that he was ever going to woo Tony with food and that was… not great.

Traditional dates were pretty close to impossible. Despite his rapid recovery in the tower, going outside was still too frightening with the crowds of New York, the inability to pick out threats around him, and the lack of sightlines all driving Bucky back inside and to the highest floors of the tower where he could look out over everything.

And as for anything else, well, Bucky was an ex-brainwashed assassin with no money to his name and only half the social skills he used to have (Sam said he had more than he thought but arguing with Sam wasn’t like trying to get someone to like him). He didn’t have much else to offer other than making food and giving Tony a project to work on. The first wasn’t going well and the second made Bucky feel too much like he was taking advantage of Tony to use more than once or twice.

Disheartened, he made his way up to Natalia’s floor to ask her for advice. She and Tony got along almost as well as she got along with Clint. Maybe she would have insights that JARVIS wasn’t able to offer. As he neared her room, though, he realized that she wasn’t alone.

“—to kill me,” someone—Tony, Bucky realized almost immediately—was saying. He stiffened. Who was trying to kill Tony? Bucky would kill them first! Was murder a good way to woo Tony?

“котенок,” Natalia said patiently, “he’s not trying to kill you.”

“You don’t know that!” Tony exclaimed wildly. He sounded like he was pacing. “He could be! He keeps bringing me things everyone knows I won’t eat.”

And now Natalia sounded amused as she said, “Antoshka, I don’t think he’d be trying to feed you if he wanted to kill you. It’s more likely an honest mistake.”

“It could be poison.”

“It’s not poison.”

“You don’t know that. You haven’t tried any of it.”

“It’s not poison because that’s more my style than it is James’.”

Oh, they were talking about him. Tony thought Bucky was trying to kill him. “Fuck,” he said mournfully, leaning up against the wall. No wonder Tony wouldn’t touch any of the food he made for him.

“Well, I don’t see why else he’s bringing me food!” Tony said.

“Really? Not a single reason?”

“It’s food I won’t eat! He clearly doesn’t like me or he’d be bringing me actual food I like.”

“Does he know why you won’t eat it?”

“No, but why does that matter?”

“Tony, darling, have you ever once informed him that you have a sensory processing disorder and you won’t eat a lot of cooked foods because you can’t handle the texture?”

Bucky straightened back up. Tony has a what? He’d never even heard of that before. Why didn’t JARVIS say something? He thought back to when he’d been building the list of blueberry foods and how he’d wondered if JARVIS didn’t necessarily know about the pattern for Tony’s likes and dislikes in his food. Maybe JARVIS hadn’t known about Tony’s disorder, so he hadn’t known to tell Bucky about it. That made the most amount of sense to him though he couldn’t imagine why Tony had never told his AI about his disorder.

“Why would I tell him that?” Tony asks, sounding confused.

He could just picture Natalia shaking her head as she said, “Oh, Antoshka.”

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

Armed with his new knowledge, Bucky crept away from the door, already planning out new meals to bring to Tony.

~

That very night, he went downstairs with a bowl of salad. It had nuts to provide a small amount of protein, though he’d also put some baked chicken in a Tupperware as well, in case that was something Tony could eat. Tony’s music was playing at a manageable volume by the time he got to the workshop, likely because he was drafting plans for some sort of irrigation system, rather than any sort of consideration for Bucky.

Tony caught sight of him before he got the doors open. Bucky watched as his face fell for a moment before he plastered on a bright, fake smile. Hydra’s programming was still too ingrained in him to do anything as obvious as wince, but he still felt a twinge of shame. Why hadn’t he thought to ask Tony what he would like to eat instead of relying on his own preferences?

“Uh,” he said, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. In his other hand, he held up the Tupperware with the salad bowl on top of it. “I brought you some dinner. It’s just a salad, but I included some baked chicken on the side if you want that. I hope it’s something you like.”

Tony blinked at him. “What?”

“I—okay, I’m just gonna come right out and say it. I overheard you and Natalia earlier. I didn’t know you couldn’t eat anything I was making for you. I wasn’t trying to poison you or anything, just thought you might like some food since you’re down here all the time. Sorry for, you know, eavesdropping and making you think I didn’t like you.”

A cautious smile spread across Tony’s face. “You could have asked JARVIS,” he pointed out.

“Yeah, I did, but I guess he didn’t know you don’t like cooked foods.”

“What?” Tony cocked his head to the side. “No, he should know that.” He spun around in his chair, waving the glowing blue drafts of the irrigation system aside in favor of pulling up JARVIS’ bright golden code. It was a beautiful display, and Bucky found himself moving closer, mesmerized by the sight. He had no idea JARVIS’ code was so complex.

“J, buddy, what happened to your code?” Tony murmured. He reached out a hand, groping for Bucky’s shirt to tug him closer. “Gimme food.”

“So you like salad?” Bucky asked, relieved that he’d finally found something.

“And baked chicken,” Tony added. “But it has to be baked. Otherwise, the texture’s too rubbery for me.”

“I can do that,” he promised. “Do you like breading or marinade with the baked chicken?”

“Marinade, yes. Breading, no.”

“Okay. I’ll remember that.”

Tony paused in tearing through JARVIS’ code to give him a small, genuine smile that made Bucky’s heart light up. He returned the smile, which grew bigger when Tony’s gaze darted down to his lips, snagging there as though caught by the sight. He knew he had a nice mouth; he’d been told that plenty of times back in the forties.

“I have another confession to make,” he said once Tony’s attention returned to the code.

“Uh-huh,” Tony said distractedly.

“I was—”

“There you are!” Tony exclaimed. “J, who made those changes to lines 894 through 1036 in your code?”

JARVIS immediately said, “The last time those lines were accessed was in 2008 by Obadiah Stane.”

Tony’s face fell. “Oh.”

It took Bucky a moment remember who Obadiah Stane was. He’d appeared in one of Bucky’s mission files as the Winter Soldier. Back during the nineties, following Tony’s parents deaths, Tony had been planning on shutting down SI’s weapons manufacturing division. Hydra, who’d been buying black market weapons from Stane for years by that time, had ordered the Winter Soldier to assassinate Tony to give Stane complete control of the company. But before he’d been able to complete his mission, Stane had convinced Tony to see “reason” and Bucky had been put back in cryo. That unfulfilled mission had been one of the reasons he’d been so hesitant to move into the tower before his programming had been completely removed. Steve had tried to push for the move anyway, but before either of them could successfully argue the point, Tony had put out a call to the world’s top experts on brainwashing and three whirlwind weeks later, Bucky’s mind was programming-free. And just like that, without even meeting the guy, Bucky had developed a crush on one Tony Stark.

“Sorry, doll,” he said, dropping a hand to Tony’s shoulder and squeezing it gently.

Tony sighed frustratedly. “Every time I think I’ve taken care of everything Obie fucked up, I find something else he’s done. He was probably hoping I’d starve to death or something without anyone making food to my exacting specifications, that asshole.”

“He sounds pretty terrible,” Bucky agreed.

“J, are you able to access the last backup on those lines to restore them?” Tony asked.

“Yes, sir.”

“Okay, let’s get those fixed, and uh—”

“And we’ll go out for dinner,” Bucky interrupted.

“Huh?” Tony asked, turning to look at him.

“Seems I owe you an apology and I figure taking you out for dinner is a little nicer than a salad. ‘Sides, if I take you out, I’ll have a better understanding of what you like to eat.”

“Careful there, Buckaroo, or I’ll start thinking this is supposed to be a date.”

Bucky would probably never know what possessed him to firmly say, “Yeah, that’s exactly what it’s supposed to be.” He certainly hadn’t planned to. He really had been planning on their dinner being a way to figure out what Tony liked so he could make it himself and continue with his wooing process from there, hopefully slowly easing Tony into believing that Bucky really did like him and wasn’t trying to poison him.

“Sorry,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “That wasn’t supposed to come out like that.”

Tony stared at him, then abruptly said, “Did you mean it?”

“Mean what?”

“That this is supposed to be a date.”

He could deny it and go back to his original plan. He’d probably even be able to pull off a lie like that. But there was a hopeful look in Tony’s eyes that stopped him from denying anything.

“You didn’t even know that I liked you until five minutes ago,” he pointed out cautiously.

Tony scoffed. “What, like you’ve never liked someone who hated you.”

“Uh, no. I’ve never done that.”

“Really?”

“Never.”

“Huh.”

“Are you… are you saying that you do like me?” Bucky asked.

“Well, yeah. You never mind that half of my engineering babble goes over your head and you bring me food even if you didn’t know it wasn’t something I could eat and you’re really fucking gorgeous when you’ve showered and your hair isn’t falling in greasy clumps around your face.”

“Look who’s talking,” Bucky said amusedly, reaching out to run his fingers through Tony’s hair, matted down with machine oil. Even filthy, he could feel how soft it would be when it was clean. Tony leaned into his hand, humming happily.

“So is that a yes on this being a date, Bucky babe?” Tony asked. “Cause I’ll be honest, I’m not usually left hanging.”

“Yeah,” Bucky said, nodding. “It’s a date.”

Tony grinned and turned his head just enough to kiss the inside of Bucky’s wrist, making Bucky shiver. “Let me get cleaned up.”

“You want me to join you?”

Tony winked at him. “Next time, honey.”

[dameronology]

all love {steve rogers}

summary: you had a lot to say to steve rogers after he left. finally, you get your chance. 

warnings: angst, mentions of death

believe it or not, this version is actually the one with the happier ending than all the other ideas i had. so pls don’t hate me, bc this ain’t fluff :) 

- jazz xx

Steve Rogers was a complicated man.

You knew that. You could see it in his eyes because you were just as complicated too. It was a blessing and a curse, really; it meant that you understood him just as much as you didn’t; sympathised with him just as much as you struggled. His emotions were clear as day and somehow, still twisted and unintelligible like a tangle of rainclouds in the middle of a stormy night. The history behind his blue eyes was long and confusing and it was unfair to expect you to decipher it when Steve could barely do it himself. He’d lived about a thousand lifetimes in the span of time that most people lived one - so you gave in on understanding, and chose to just love him instead.

It was easier that way, to just take it day by day and unpack his baggage as the super soldier saw fit. Sometimes it was hours and hours of talking; long and late nights, filled with tired eyes and the smell of caffeine. Stolen glances met with soft giggles and recounts of the war, the good times and the bad. Other times, it was more twisted. Deeper and darker. Strangled screams and cries lost to the night, large hands reaching for the gun under his pillow that posed the question of how fucking long has that been there, Steve? 

In time, the good was worth the bad. You must had the patience of a fucking saint, because Steve finally stopped mourning for the past and began to look to the future. You hadn’t made solid plans -- that was foolish in your line of work. Between fighting aliens and robots, you were both blessed to have even made it this far. So, the day by day method worked in that sense too, and any big plans always became maybe. Maybe we’ll have kids one. Maybe we’ll move out of Brooklyn and to the suburbs. Maybe we’ll find a nice house with a picket fence and a garden big enough for Bucky to run around in. 

What you had was beautiful, in the most complicated way. Because Steve Rogers was a perplexing man, but before that, he was kind and funny and sweet. He looked after you and you looked after him. Wrote you letters on long missions and left little notes for everyday that he was away. Sent you the dumbest good morning texts and the sweetest good night ones. For every emotional pitfall that you found yourselves in, Steve would turn up with a rope, even if he’d been the one to dig the hole in the first place. 

It went more than just skin deep, twisting your souls together in some kind of emotional vortex that you wouldn’t have thought to be true had you not witnessed alien invasions and everything that followed. In fact, it was the everything that followed that you pushed you together even more - because it was the blip that had made you and Steve realised fucking important what you had was. 

Those had been desperate moments. Painful, desperate moments. One minute, you’d been watching Wanda Maximoff cry out in pain for her lost love, and then she was gone. So was Bucky. And T’Challa. And Stephen Strange. In mere seconds; so quickly that your brain couldn’t even comprehend what was going on. It was as though somebody had turned your brain off for a few seconds - and when it rebooted, all you could think about was Steve. 

You didn’t remember much from the seconds that followed, other than the burning in your lungs from how impossibly fast you had run, and how soar your throat was from screaming out his name. Then your bodies had collided with a thud, and you’d been met with a solid chest. Warm arms and big hands, that were completely and entirely there and not being dusted away. You’d never clung onto him so tightly, barely able to breath from how hard reality had just hit you. But he held onto you, and kept you standing - a metaphor which would stick to the next five years in the most bittersweet way. 

The first few months were hard. Hard to stomach, hard to accept, hard to mourn. Everyone was floating around one another, still struggling to truly get over the fact that for once, the Avengers hadn’t won. You hadn’t gotten cocky, but after the Chitauri, and after Ultron, you had become hopeful. Nobody could blame you. Hope was all you’d had, really. 

You found a routine. Steve found a reason to live in you, and you’d found an inkling of ambition in him. After a few months in the Compound, you’d gone back to your apartment in Manhattan. You’d never been more grateful to have it -- because when the entire world had changed around you, at least one thing was still the same. You could shut the door and lock it behind you, just existing as you always had in those four walls. The rest of the world didn’t matter, because it just you, and it was Steve, and that was the world. It was your world, and it was his. 

After everything becoming so unpredictable, the stability that his presence brought was everything you needed. It cemented your need for one another - your love for another. 

But unpredictably has a funny way of working, doesn’t it? 

Never in a million years would you have imagined that the thing brought you closer would have been the thing to tear you apart. That restoring the world back to the state you’d longed for would bring an end to the only thing you thought was certain. You’d calculated every outcome of reversing the blip, thought about every way that it was everything you’d ever wanted. Finally, everything you’d lost would come back, and you and Steve could live as you always wanted. In the world you wanted. 

But he wasn’t there. 

One possibility you hadn’t considered was that Steve would have access to the time stone. You were both getting back to the world’s your mourned for, but they weren’t the same. You’d only been mourning the last five years, whilst Steve had been mourning the last seven decades. Somewhere along the long, you’d convinced yourself that the little bubble you’d built for yourselves was enough to cushion that. That your relationship, and your love, was enough compensation for the fact he’d lost everything. 

Because Steve was good with words, but not quite enough to express to you how truly out of time he’d been. You saw the way his eyes glazed over when he spoke of the forties, but you couldn’t feel the pain in his chest when he heard an old record. You couldn’t fathom the suffocation he felt every time he saw pictures of his lost friends, or the weight on his chest that losing Peggy Carter had given him. It had alleviated slightly when he met you, but truthfully speaking, Steve Rogers hadn’t taken a deep breath since the final moments before his plane hit the ice in 1945. 

The pain you felt when you realised that he’d well and truly left you for his old life was minute compared to what he’d been feeling since he woke up all those years ago. It didn’t matter, because pain was pain regardless. His relief didn’t negate your suffering. And, if you’d ever been wondering what you would have felt if you had lost Steve in the blip, you needn’t had looked any further. This was worst than him dying. This was worst than him slipping away with millions of others, because he’d chosen to do it. He’d thought about you, and everything you’d tried to give him, and he’d decided it wasn’t enough. 

You didn’t get it at first. Couldn’t sympathise with his situation - but let’s face it. Who the fuck could? It wasn’t like there was a WikiHow article on how to get over the love of your life time travelling back to the 1940s and leaving you in ruins. For the first time since you’d met Steve all those years ago, you were forced to process all your emotional trauma on your own. To stand on your own two feet without his broad arms supporting you in the way they had on the battlefield in Wakanda. 

It took time. You processed it with time. Drank a lot, cried a lot, screamed a lot. Found solace in your friendships with Bucky and Sam; even if they’d been a little much at first, forcing you to share the payload of your pain with them had helped. At times, it was like going to group therapy with Spongebob and Patrick, but you held them close to your heart. You learnt to find joy and appreciation in other things, and to tune out Steve, and the mention of his name.

That was until March 2021, almost two years to the day that he had left you standing on the lakeside in the Compound. You’d been driving home from work and his name had been mentioned on the radio - Captain America, former war hero and super soldier, has died aged 103. 

It didn’t sting too much. You’d mourned Steve Rogers a long time ago - at least the version of him that you knew.  It made your chest hurt a little that he was truly and completely gone, and that you would never have a chance to talk to him. You’d toyed with the idea of going to visit him in his old age. Part of you wanted to know if he remembered you, even if for him, everything you’d had together had been decades ago. Even though you’d existed together in the future, your life together was cemented entirely in the past the minute you’d went back. Decades had passed before you existed at the same time again, and you wondered if time had been enough for him to forget. Two years for you had been seventy for him. It was thought that had made you shy away from ever talking to him, because you didn’t want to know. You were scared of the answer. 

Maybe that was why you were only seeing him now; on a rainy day, when the man you’d once loved was six feet under and surrounded by a ridiculous headstone you knew he would hate. The air around you was cool, sky tinged grey and a few droplets splashing against the grey stone, making it turn a slightly darker shade. There were no tears; just a deep sigh, and an awkward shuffle as you wriggled your toes in your boots and thought about what the fuck you wanted to say. 

‘Hey, Cap.’ You murmured. ‘Can I call you that? I used to call you babe. No, I don’t know why I said that. That’s fucking weird. Like this whole situation, because somehow, even though I’ve dealt with aliens and gods, saying goodbye to you is one I was never truly prepared for.’ 

Your eyes fell to the floor, and you continued. ‘You suck, Steve Rogers. You really fucking suck. You know that, right? That it’s a dick move to go back to your old life without even leaving a note? Or a text? Heck, I would have been happy if you spelt it out on the fridge in magnets.’ 

‘It’s okay, though.’ You smiled. ‘I’m not mad anymore. Okay, maybe I am a little, but not as I used to be. I understand why you did it, but I also get that I’ll never understand at all. I’ll never get how existing in a time that wasn’t yours felt, or how out of place you must have been in a world seventy years ahead of what you knew.’

‘And I’m sorry, I guess. Sorry that I didn’t try harder, but also sorry that whatever I tried to give you wasn’t enough to make up for what you’d lost.’ You sniffed. ‘This is where you’d tell me to shut up and stop being so hard on myself. So I will, because we’re both at peace now and that’s the most important thing.’

There were a few tears then; not for the man beneath you, but for the man that had left you. When all the anger subsided, you realised that above all, you just missed him. You missed the late night conversations when you couldn’t sleep, and you missed how warm he felt beside you when you did finally drift off. You missed the way he laughed at your driving skills and the way he would eat your side salad because you hated it. You longed to his hear his singing in the shower in the morning, and to squeal at him for pressing his cold feet to your back to wake you up. 

‘Above all, Steve Rogers, I’m just grateful I had you, even for a few years.’ You took a deep breath. ‘The pain I felt when you left was unbearable, but it wasn’t permanent. The memories you gave me, and the love I felt for you? That’s gonna stay with me forever.’ 

You wiped away a few tears, smiling to yourself when the clouds above you cleared slightly. The grey ones that had been lingering all morning had shifted slightly, allowing for the sunlight to peak through and cast a glow over your surroundings. Tiny, dewy raindrops lingered on the grass, enveloping the world around you in the smell of petrichor and relief. You’d never believed in fate, or the afterlife, or messages from the underworld, but that? You hadn’t felt a rush like that the last time you woke up beside him.

‘So, thanks I guess.’ You glanced up at the sky, blinking under the bright sun. ‘And rest easy, Cap.’ 

[rivers-rambles21]

The one with the road trip

Part 15 of The one where Bucky has a cute neigbour series!

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X Reader (f)

Warnings | 18+ only  - no smut but mentions of it

Chapter 15 | Chapter 14 | Chapter 13 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 1 | Masterlist

Apologies for any mistakes, this has been written on my phone and its a bit difficult to edit. Once I’m back with a working laptop I’ll give it a once over :)

Bucky had intended on renting a bike so you could ride down to Louisiana but with Sam’s suit it would’ve been an impossible feat. 

He settled for hiring an SUV and added you both to the insurance so you could take it in turns driving on the long trip down south. 

“Been together one day and we’re already on our first trip” You teased as you rested your feet on the dash, taking in the scenery as Bucky drove. His metal hand gripped the steering wheel as he peaked a glance over to your bare legs, resisting the urge to pull over. 

“You’re the one having a mid life crisis doll not me” You feigned offense and swatted the soldier beside you, pleased to get a hit in as he tried to dodge your attack. His eyes remained on the road as he grasped your hand in his. “Less of that thank you” He laughed, bringing your hand to his lips, leaving a kiss on the back before giving it back to rest on your thigh, his hand not leaving yours. 

“Looking forward to seeing Sam again?” He didn’t respond but his face said it all. “You’re so dramatic” You chuckled as you leant down to root around in your bag for the road trip snacks. Retrieving a bag of cashews, you offered it to Bucky who gladly took a handful. 

“I just know he’s going to ask a billion questions about stuff we’ve not even discussed yet, that we’re probably not even ready to talk about. He didn’t stop asking about you y’know? Y/n this, Y/n that…he kept threatening to ask you out.” 

“Oh he did” 

The car swerved slightly as Bucky's grip on the wheel tightened, his concentration lapsing for a split second. 

“He did what?” He asked, tearing his eyes from the road to glance over at you. 

“It was just a bit of harmless flirting-” You began before being cut off. 

“We flirted.” Bucky stated, his jaw clenching. 

“We also did a lot of things just friends don’t do. Relax Sarge, he only asked to get a reaction out of me.” 

Bucky grunted in response, knowing his reaction was a tad over the top but he couldn’t help it. You were his. 

“We could always mess with him in return.” You pondered as you took a swig of your drink. “Maybe hold off on telling him about us, it’s only meant to be a flying visit anyway isn’t it? So we wouldn’t have to pretend for long… play him at his own game?” 

Bucky smirked in response, completely on board with your little plan.

  The next few hours passed with the typical car games and a quick power nap as Bucky continued driving. 

“How long until you start at Starks?” 

“A month thank god, the GRC wanted me gone pretty quickly, I didn't have to work my notice which was a blessing really. I’ll schedule a day to go and clear out my desk and say my goodbyes. Will you still get your pension if we live out of the country?” 

“I’m not sure to be honest, I can pick up work wherever we are though, it wouldn’t be the first time. I’m good with my hands” 

“You’re telling me” You muttered under your breath. Bucky heard you loud and clear and let out a laugh as he recalled how you spent most of last night. “Are we crazy? Travelling with no plan, barely any money and only just starting out as a couple?” 

“Oh absolutely”

Eventually Bucky took a break from driving after you stopped for food in a roadside diner. It had been a while since you’d driven but you wanted to give Bucky the chance to get some sleep, something you knew he still struggled with. 

Despite telling him to try and get some sleep on the back seats, he remained upfront with you, doing his best to battle the drowsiness that had overcome him. He’d not gotten much rest the past few weeks, from battling the Flag Smashers in Europe, to hunting down Zemo and then back to New York. In truth he was worried he’d have a nightmare and wasn’t sure on how he’d react but upon your insistence, he tried to get some shut eye. After an hour or so he dropped off, the sound of you humming along to a song on the radio sending him off into a dreamless sleep. 

Bucky couldn’t quite believe it, he couldn’t remember the last time he slept without being haunted by memories of the Winter Soldier. Granted, he only got four hours of sleep , but it was the best he’d felt in a long time.

When it came to your turn to get some shut eye Bucky insisted on stopping over in a hotel for the night. You’d tried to convince him a motel would suffice after you lost the battle of you sleeping in the car but he was victorious. 

To be frank, after spending so many hours in the car, you were grateful to be sleeping in a bed with your super soldier by your side. 

As you slept, Bucky took the time to fire off a few emails advising he’d be ending his lease. Having slept earlier, he felt energised and was content in browsing the internet as you slept tucked into his arm. 

He did his best not to wake you as he opened a selfie from Shuri of her with Ayo and Nomble, a chuckle escaping his lips as Shuri and Nomble looked to be thoroughly enjoying themselves on a boat trip in New York whilst Ayo sulked in the background. 

He also replied to an email from his therapist's office, letting them know he’d be absent from his next session but planned on returning the following week.

Bucky was tempted to let Sam know he was coming but thought it best to surprise him.

The next day was much of the same, both of you switching the drive and stopping off at diners for food. Due to the lack of respect Bucky had for the speed limit, you were making good time and would be in Delacroix the following morning. 

“-it was like I didn’t exist. Honestly it was the most humbling experience of my life” 

“Sergeant Barnes in his uniform… now that is something I’ve got to see.” 

“Maybe one day”  

Your eyebrow perked at the thought. “Good god man” You groaned dramatically and sank further into your seat, giggling as you caught sight of the blush covering his cheeks. “For what it’s worth, lack of nutrients from the rationing clearly messed with her eyesight.” You were genuinely baffled how Peggy didn’t swoon for the man next to you.

“Where were you in the 40’s when I needed you huh?” 

“I doubt I’d have been your type” 

“Intelligent, strong woman with a great sense of humor? And thats not even mentioning your ass.. Oh no, definitely not my type” He replied sarcastically. 

“Ha ha fine, I’ll take your word for it.” 

“I’d have taken you dancing, maybe gone to a show or even the carnival. Anything you wanted.” He took your hand in his again and kissed the back of it as he pondered just how he’d of won you over back then. He usually didn't like to dwell on life before the war, the pain of losing his family and the future he lost was too much but having you in his life somehow made the memories hurt less. Having you with him now along with the future he could picture with you helped him make peace with his past life and accept that it wasn’t something he could ever go back to. 

When Steve was returning the stones, he did wonder whether he should go back with him but the realisation that there wasn’t anything waiting for him apart from a time that he didn't belong to made his decision to remain in the present resolute. And by god was he thankful he stayed.

On your way to your final hotel before arriving at Sams, you’d taken over the driving and had kept Bucky entertained with your off key singing and terrible car games. 

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me” As it turns out, Bucky was a sore loser. 

“What? It counts!!” 

“You cannot see bacteria Y/N” 

“Yes I can! It’s right...right… right there!” You pointed to a random bit of the car interior and held back a laugh at a clearly unamused Bucky.

“You’re so full of shit” 

“How do you know I can’t see it huh? Guess it’s my turn again, I spy with my little -” 

“No” He cut off as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. “Absolutely not. I’m going to choose a game.” 

You let out a little smile and continued focusing on the road until the super soldier landed on something he liked. 

“Okay okay, would you rather sounds fun. Doll, would you rather have the superpower of being invisible or ability to fly.” 

“Aw come on Buck these are tame! If I have to answer, without a doubt invisibility.” 

“Not dirty enough for you sweetheart?” A tingle rang down your spine at your new nickname. “I’d have to agree, invisibility easily.” 

“Buck you’re an actual superhero, you’ve already got powers, leave some for us mere mortals!” 

“... you think I’m a superhero?” 

“....you’re literally an Avenger.” You reached across towards the man beside you, keeping your eyes on the road as you pressed your hand against his forehead. “Are you feeling okay?” 

Bucky rolled his eyes at your sarcasm and swatted your hand away from his head. “Fine you made your point.” 

You shook your head as you returned your hand to the steering wheel, tapping away to the song on the radio. 

“The rest of these questions are boring” He muttered as he furiously scrolled through his cell. 

“C’mon, go R rated” 

“It’s no fun when I already know the answers to these!” 

“Pfft doubtful, come on, hit me” 

“Spit or swallow, you’re a swallower doll.See?” 

“Okay okay! You’re right, I give in. How about we just ask each other some questions?” 

“But you already know everything,” He remarked, throwing a few cashews into his mouth. 

“When did you first see me as someone other than a friend?” You’d thrown him off guard with that question, his hand stuck in mid air as he went to throw more snacks into his mouth. 

“Wouldn't you rather know my most embarrassing sexual encounters?” He offered but was met with silence. “Fine……. I’ve never seen you as just a friend. Yes we were friends before we became more and honestly Y/n if it never progressed further than just friendship I would’ve been fine with it, more than fine with it y’know? Meeting you was the best fucking thing-” “Buck, it’s okay” Your hand reached out towards him and squeezed his thigh as you kept your eyes on the road. 

“There’s more… before we officially met in the lobby when that creep wouldn’t leave you the fuck alone, I’d seen you around. I was coming back from lunch with Yori and he was complaining about having gone for burgers instead of our usual and there you were, headphones in completely oblivious to the world and searching for your keys in your purse as usual. You were just so carefree - everything I wanted to be. And then a couple of days later we met and I was a goner.”

You bit your lip as you fought back a smile, overwhelmed by his honesty. It was a welcome feeling, knowing you weren’t the only one that felt an attraction almost immediately. 

“I’d seen you around too, before we officially met I mean. It’s kind of hard to miss you” You chuckled as you snuck a glimpse over at him and found him doing his usual glare. “It was pretty early on for me as well, do you remember when we went for coffee?” 

“And you ordered us two cups of sugar? Yeah I remember” 

“Mocha Latte’s aren’t bad for you… they just give you a bit of a buzz” 

“Especially if you order extra cream…” 

“Anyway! I’ve always been attracted to you, I’m not blind y’know but after seeing this dark looming strong man consume a drink like that, and have some residue cream left on his lower lip mind you, I just knew that it was more than just a crush. There’s something oddly charming and attractive about seeing someone so intimidating be so soft. It’s like I’m the only one who gets to see that side of you and I love it” 

Bucky didn't quite know what to say, he was slightly flustered at the compliments you were throwing at him and by the knowledge that you’d been interested far earlier than he had ever dreamed of. 

“We’re idiots aren’t we? For not realising sooner.” 

“Oh without a doubt”

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[forasecondtherewedwon]

Dolls’ Eyes — A Jaws AU

Pairings: established Peggy/Steve, developing Brunnhilde/Carol Rating: T Chapters: 14/14

Summary: Tony Stark snapped his fingers and the vanished half of the universe returned, but Thanos escaped the battlefield, fleeing into space. Now that he’s virtually powerless, most of the Avengers consider chasing him all over the universe a waste of resources, but Peggy Carter—newly deposited in the 21st century—is determined to finish the job. Brunnhilde and Carol Danvers have the same idea.

When scattered rumours of fresh killings escalate to the death of one of their own, the three women team up to defeat Thanos once and for all.

read the prologue

read ch. 1 one / 2 two / 3 three / 4 four / 5 five 6 six / 7 seven / 8 eight / 9 nine / 10 ten 11 eleven / 12 twelve / 13 thirteen / 14 fourteen

After everything, Carol wasn’t surprised that Brunnhilde put up a fight over being told to just rest. Carol reminded her that she was lucky to be alive, to which Brunnhilde responded that it wasn’t anything like luck, and went on to list the incredible, lifesaving properties of her fine armour, explain the enhanced durability provided by her Asgardian biology, and enumerate all of the injuries she’d previously sustained that were apparently worse than being electrocuted half to death, and then nearly drowning while incapacitated. Carol didn’t believe half of it, but it was kinda hot when Brunnhilde bragged.

So, in spite of Carol’s efforts, Brunnhilde kept getting up the second her back was turned in order to haul bodies off of Thanos’s ship. As they started to fix everything Carol had broken (including a patch job of that hole in the roof), a scan of the local environment informed them that almost all of the life on this planet was aquatic. They left the stack of corpses on land. Whatever water critters were around, they didn’t need toxic eyeball goo leeching into their habitat.

Carol caught Brunnhilde shaking out a twitching arm and made her sit to do electronic repairs rather than manual labour. (Carol had that handled anyway, plus, she knew where all the bodies were because she was the one who’d left them there.) Brunnhilde protested that she was the captain. Carol came way too close to saying not of this ship, but stopped herself. Instead, she suggested Brunnhilde do like any other captain would and let her underlings take on the grunt work. That got a smile, if not verbal agreement.

Thankfully, Peggy was a fast learner; Carol explained the basics of what she’d done to wreck something and Peggy quickly understood how to walk back the damage. They worked their way through the ship, staying at neighbouring stations so Carol would be there if Peggy had questions, and Peggy would be there if (when) Carol had messed something up so badly that it needed four hands to fix.

“Maria would’ve been great with this,” she said without thinking, holding up a fistful of wires while Peggy tinkered beneath.

“Maria?”

It was easier to talk about her than it had ever been before. Like with the repairs, she could tell that Peggy understood without Carol having to do much more than gush over how good Maria had been at fixing stuff, how thorough she’d been with the plane she’d kept in the hangar on her property, how reliable, how trustworthy, how patient…

“Yes,” Peggy told her with a smile. “She sounds like she was wonderful.”

“She was.”

But when the two of them had finished their circuit of the ship and Carol went to tell Brunnhilde they were good to go, she wasn’t there. Carol panicked, worried that Brunnhilde had overheard all her praise of Maria and somehow missed the tone of a person who was in the late stages of grief, who had accepted the worst and was keen to keep living, maybe even loving.

When she couldn’t find her on the ship, she jogged down the ramp, intending to look for her outside. The second she turned to face the water, she spotted Brunnhilde coming towards her from the escape vessel. Carol ran out to meet her.

“What’s all this?” she asked in a tone of amusement, because Brunnhilde had her arms full.

“Food, Peggy’s jacket, a couple beers that didn’t get smashed when Thanos rammed us, uh…” She tried to examine the rest of the pile she was carrying, but it teetered and slipped; laughing, Carol scooped a few things out of her arms before they could end up in the shallow water.

“I thought you might’ve taken off on us,” she said lightly.

“I didn’t think you thought I’d be capable of that after getting zapped.”

“I was just…”

Brunnhilde walked close, pressing her arm into Carol’s.

“I know. I would’ve been the same way if it’d been you.”

“I don’t even know if I can get electrocuted,” Carol said.

“I’m not gonna recommend trying it for fun,” Brunnhilde told her. “Anyway, I used all my discs on Thanos and I dropped the remote in the water somewhere… You’d have to go to Thor with your request, ask him to bring the lightning down.”

“Straight to Thor?!” Carol laughed. “That seems a little extreme.”

“Or you could just stand around outside in New Asgard during a storm and wait for it to happen naturally.”

“And why would I need to be in New Asgard specifically?” Carol asked in a teasing voice. “I could get struck by lightning anywhere.”

She watched Brunnhilde flounder but couldn’t get an answer out of her, not on the way to the ship, not while she was distracted with Peggy asking her a slew of health questions, and not while they were trying to figure out how to get this humongous spaceship off the ground with a crew of only three people.

As they made their rocky assent, Carol was too busy to wonder whether Brunnhilde had heard her talking about Maria before she’d left the ship to scavenge from the escape craft. They had just broken through the atmosphere, blue sky giving way to black, when Brunnhilde spoke.

“Love’s like war.”

It was so sudden that Carol snorted a laugh.

“Ok, poet,” she said. She was tempted to devote some time to getting Thanos’s ship to play her music, if only to put on ‘Love Is a Battlefield’ for Brunnhilde. To let her know what had been said on the subject already.

She smirked to herself when Brunnhilde continued, clearly not giving a shit about her interruption or joking criticism.

“It is.”

“What do you mean?” Carol asked more seriously.

Brunnhilde shifted in her seat, engaging different protocols for outer space travel. Carol noticed the tremor had gone from her arm.

“You do better in both because of experience,” Brunnhilde said, looking straight out the viewport. “Anybody who can’t appreciate the benefit of falling for someone who’s been in love before is a fucking idiot.”

“And you’re not a fucking idiot.”

“I hope that isn’t a question.”

Carol smiled and shook her head. They flew in silence for a while.

“When we get back,” she said eventually, peering shyly over at her captain, “I owe someone important to me a visit, but then I’m coming to see you. Just a heads-up.”

“Vaguely threatening.”

“Sorry.”

“No,” Brunnhilde told her, grabbing her forearm to get her full attention, “I liked it.”

Heat raced up Carol’s neck until she was blushing as bright red as her suit, or the dumb acid burn on her arm.

Just then, Peggy’s agitated voice came from the other end of the wide flight deck.

“Someone’s coming right at us!”

Before Carol had the chance to say what the hell? or who? or again?, an incoming message threw a distantly familiar face up in front of them, hovering in the form of a hologram.

“Hey,” Carol greeted. “Small universe.”

—

Peggy had never thought to imagine what Gamora might be like. She’d had an account of Peter Quill’s affection for her from Rocket, but had recognized that a portrayal of the woman that crew had known—the woman Peter had loved enough to forfeit his life in the quest for reunion—couldn’t be fully accurate. At best, the Gamora they described would be one layer removed from the real person. The Gamora they had known and the one whose hologram had just appeared before Peggy, Carol, and Brunnhilde were a handful of years and a thousand experiences apart.

It seemed absurd to Peggy that this woman may wish to harm them, but she really ought to have considered it.

“Was it your distress signal I picked up?” Gamora asked flatly, eyes locked on Carol in the pilot’s seat.

“Umm… yep.”

“And you still require assistance?”

Carol glanced at Brunnhilde, then over to Peggy, who nodded. They certainly had worked wonders, she felt, in getting this massive spaceship off the planet, but who knew how many things could go wrong between here and Earth? Peggy doubted either of her shipmates had told her the half of it. They were simply short-staffed, too few fingers available to plug any metaphorical leaks they might spring on the journey.

“Yes please,” Carol told her.

With a nod, 2014 Gamora went from unknown quantity to ally. Peggy sighed in relief.

The three of them were transported directly from Thanos’s ship to Gamora’s. The process was quite indescribable, Peggy thought. Tingly, quick, with a bit of a lurch as she rematerialized on an entirely different flight deck from the one she’d just left. Had the transfer been instantaneous? Had she, perhaps, ceased to exist for a moment or two? She was full of questions but unsure to whom she should direct them.

Gamora, while welcoming in deed, was somewhat inscrutable when they met her face-to-face. Standoffish. Unsure of herself, Peggy realized. Immediately, she warmed to the woman. She had been in her place herself once, sort of, if not precisely in her intimidating boots. It hadn’t been so long ago that she’d been ferried through time to find the world completely changed. What Gamora needed was a reason to trust them the way they were trusting her.

“I take it you killed my father?” Gamora asked plainly once they were aboard.

Oh dear. It seemed they weren’t off to a very auspicious start.

Brunnhilde stepped in front of Carol, who’d just been opening her mouth to speak, presumably to claim responsibility.

“I was the captain,” she stated. “Thanos was killed on my orders.”

“Uh, no, not explicitly,” Carol argued.

“Anyway,” Peggy piped up, “I’m the one who shot him in the head.”

“And he was only vulnerable to that because I electrocuted him to within an inch of his despicable life and his helmet fell off,” Brunnhilde countered.

“On a planet I flew us to,” Carol reminded them.

“We’ll be sharing the blame,” Peggy informed Gamora on behalf of her crewmates.

Gamora cocked her head consideringly.

“And if it’s approval?” To their universal silence, she explained, “I know what he was capable of in my time, and I saw enough of Earth to get a general idea of what he was set to accomplish if he wasn’t stopped.”

“Were you out here hunting him too?” Peggy took a step towards her.

Directing her gaze away from them, Gamora blinked rapidly, looking momentarily confused and upset. In the next second, she’d hidden any outward hint of those feelings.

“I should’ve been,” she said, “but I’ve never been able to stand up to him like I should have. After I left your planet… for a while, I wasn’t looking for him. But I began to see signs. And then Peter Quill came.”

“Peter!” Carol said. “You saw him? Did you talk to him? Rocket never said—”

“No. I just watched. I followed him for a while. I knew he was looking for me. He was so… loud.” Gamora made a face. “Leaving word for me everywhere, telling traders and transports that he was my boyfriend. He was an idiot, but an entertaining idiot… I barely noticed that I’d stopped keeping track of Thanos until he just showed up…

“I was a coward,” Gamora went on. “I saw my father intercept Peter’s ship and I knew what would probably happen, but I couldn’t put myself between the two of them. Was I supposed to stand up for this guy when I’d never been able to stand up for myself? I was raised to be cruel, to think of myself, that attachments formed to accomplish anything but the acquisition of power make you weak. I know Thanos killed Peter. It’s my fault he’s dead.”

Peggy stood in front of her, refraining from placing a reassuring hand on Gamora’s shoulder when she gave her cagey eyes.

“It’s not,” Peggy told her firmly.

“I only heard your distress signal because I heard Peter’s first,” Gamora said. “I went onboard after my father had left; it was days before I could force myself to do it, maybe longer. I used his communications system to speak to his crewmates on Earth.”

“You must’ve just missed us leaving,” Brunnhilde said.

“That’s what he told me. He said three more morons had left the planet, on their way to hunt down Thanos.”

“And you’ve helped us,” Peggy said, tone insistent. “If you do feel any responsibility for what happened to Peter, then surely you should also believe that you’ve redeemed yourself by saving our backsides.”

Gamora’s eyes squinted as though she were in pain.

“I owed him more than this and I hate it,” she said, jaw clenched. “He was no one to me. He knew someone I’m never going to become.”

“Shhh. I know,” Peggy said soothingly.

“I don’t see how that’s possible. Have you ever had someone tell you they love you when it feels like it’s impossible that they even know you? That whoever they loved had to be a different person from who you are?”

Peggy’s shoulders fell. She could feel the bittersweet smile on her face.

“Actually, yes.”

Gamora appeared surprised to have been brought up short in such a manner.

“Do you have any advice?” Peggy urged softly.

For a minute, Gamora was quiet, staring hard at the wall. Peggy could feel that the others had backed away, giving them time and space when Gamora’s stream of information had been diverted by the confusing grief she was obviously experiencing.

“Whatever lengths he goes to because he thinks you’re better than you are…” Gamora finally said, turning her head to look Peggy in the eye. “Try to be worth it.”

“Got it.”

Peggy folded her hands together, pressing her right palm to her wedding ring.

—

They were about to get underway, their new crew of four on a significantly smaller, though sleeker, ship. (Brunnhilde didn’t mourn for the one they’d left in the shallows; it had served them well, first the Asgardians and now the team responsible for the death of Thanos.) However, staring out the viewport from the seat in which she’d been installed as the effective second-in-command, Brunnhilde didn’t feel right. The sight of Thanos’s ship just hanging there in space unnerved her. It would be better if no trace of the Titan remained.

“Let’s blast it,” she suggested to the deck at large.

“Thanos’s spaceship?” Peggy checked.

“Yes.”

“Well,” Carol said, “we aren’t near anything. There’s nothing for the debris to hit…”

Brunnhilde smiled slightly and looked to the captain.

“Gamora? Do you have any weapons on this ship that could do the job?”

“There is one thing I’ve been saving for a special occasion,” Gamora said, gaze fixed on Thanos’s ship. “First, we’re going to need to get clear.”

She piloted them away—away from the planet, away from the ship. Part of Brunnhilde wanted to request the honour of launching the torpedo Gamora was setting the coordinates for, locking it onto her late father’s final vessel, but she was already satisfied with the role she’d played. Let Gamora take this final, symbolic step. It was like Thor’s hideous couch; Brunnhilde had helped him lug the thing into the open air, but permitted him to drop the match (once she’d soaked the cushions in lighter fluid, just in case it wasn’t sufficiently saturated in spilled beer). She would content herself with watching it go up in flames.

And it did. It was an impressive explosion, scattering wreckage in a wide perimeter Gamora had kept them outside of. They were briefly silent as jagged hunks of metal twisted in the void.

“That’s one way to get the stink of dead bodies out,” Carol noted, and Brunnhilde turned to her, shoulders shaking with laughter Carol quickly joined in on.

They flew for some time, and it was good just to relax, to stretch in her seat and tilt her head from side to side so that her neck cracked horrendously and Peggy said things like “good lord!” while Carol laughed her ass off. Brunnhilde remained alert though. She couldn’t help it. In the old days, with the Valkyrie, there’d been a certain relief when the battle in which they’d been engaged was done, but they’d only known true rest once they’d returned to Asgard. Home. The last time she’d been on a ship bound for Earth, the atmosphere had been one of intense grief, muffled weeping in the corridors. They’d known Earth as Midgard and had little admiration for its country of Norway, chilly with fog and swathed in the bleak colours that reflected their inner emptiness. Nothing they loved was there—not their people, not their gleaming towers and soaring statues. How could it ever possibly feel like coming home?

Brunnhilde had honestly believed she’d lost her ability to experience that feeling, that, without her sisters-in-arms, the sensation was lost to her. Yet, despite the tension she still carried from the fight, she felt it easing. She felt herself longing for home, her little house at the water’s edge. For the chance to return to her people as their king and announce a great evil defeated. Maybe this tension was only anticipation after all.

In contrast to the fruits of her own contemplation and revelation, Gamora’s private thoughts had left her expression mournful and roving. Brunnhilde exited the deck to relieve herself and find something to eat in Gamora’s stores, and when she returned, she addressed her.

“You’re not taking us all the way to Earth, are you?”

Gamora flicked her gaze sideways to assess her. Brunnhilde knew there was no judgement to be found in her face, so she stared back calmly.

“I’m taking you to Quill’s ship. Thanos, in his infinite arrogance, didn’t damage it. Maybe he thought he might like to return to it some time and claim it as part of his fleet. It’s a tribute to how much I continue to feel my father’s influence that I planned to do the same. Not build a fleet, but go back. There’s something about that ship… I find it comforting.”

Brunnhilde frowned thoughtfully.

“Are you sure you don’t want to take it and leave this one for us?”

“No. What I felt when I was onboard, examining it and… and removing Quill’s body for space burial… that was just a feeling of, I don’t know, another life. There’s a group on Earth for whom that ship means something. And it’s the only thing they have of him. I couldn’t keep it.”

“One of those people is your sister,” Brunnhilde said carefully.

“Yes.”

“I tried to talk to her, but she doesn’t like me very much. I don’t blame her,” she added as Gamora gave her a wary look. “She was upset.”

“Nebula is at her most dangerous when upset, and she’s always upset, so she’s always dangerous.”

“She was upset about Peter’s death. But I think also because, without him, no one was out here looking for you.”

Gamora stiffened.

“If she really wants to find me, she can come look for me herself. I’ll be ready.”

“She doesn’t want to fight you,” Brunnhilde said. “She misses you. I think. It’s really none of my business.”

“Why would you wish to get involved in our family affairs?” Gamora’s voice was more curious than accusing. “Besides murdering our father, of course.”

Brunnhilde sighed before answering.

“I’ve lost many people I cared about. I don’t have a family anymore.” She glanced over to see Carol and Peggy bent over a screen together, Carol’s sudden snort infecting Peggy until they were both laughing. “I mean,” Brunnhilde corrected herself, “I didn’t.”

When they arrived at the Benatar and Gamora transported Carol and Peggy off her ship, Brunnhilde motioned for Gamora to hold off a moment on removing her.

“If we don’t meet again,” she said, sticking out her arm for Gamora to grasp.

Gamora gripped her tightly and nodded.

“I think we might though. I thought about it and realized it’s easier for me to find Nebula than for her to find me.”

“I may have left you her coordinates.” Brunnhilde released Gamora’s arm. “Enjoy Missouri.”

She joined Peggy and Carol on the Benatar, pausing to bend over Carol’s seat to surprise her with a deep kiss before she took up her own position. She brushed stray strands of hair back out of Carol’s dancing eyes.

“I’m going to have to redo your braid,” Brunnhilde told her.

“Oh, we’ll have time. We’ve got quite a road trip ahead of us. Luckily… Peter left us his tunes.” Beaming, she started up a song with a bright beat.

Brunnhilde smiled and went to her seat, fastening herself in as Carol readied the vessel for launch.

“You know,” Peggy said thoughtfully, slinging her jacket over the back of her chosen seat, “before all of this, I was actually quite afraid of outer space.”

Carol laughed.

“I can’t imagine why.”

[thisisjustmefangirling]

I have just finished watching the first episode of The Falcon and the Winter Soldier and I really liked it. It takes the time to establish things, to let Sam do his thing, have action and also be with his family. We really see Bucky in his daily life, trying to adapt, trying to make amends, trying to connect to people. Hell, he got a date when Steve never could. But he’s also so lonely. We really see the fallbacks from “Steve” ’s decision to go live in the past and... It made me so sad and so freaking angry. Steve abandoned Bucky. It’s pure and simple. 

I might ship Stucky, but it doesn’t mean I don’t value friendship. Actually, friendship is one of the most important things for me. Steve and Bucky were childhood friends, then brother of arms. Steve planned to walk from Italy to Austria, with almost no training except basics, no bulletproof gear, no real shield, no real helmet, on the off chance that Bucky would still be alive and could be saved. Steve went from “I don’t want to kill anyone” to “I won’t stop until all of Hydra is dead or captured” when Bucky fell from that cliff. He mourned him. He crashed the Valkyrie while still being inside when Peggy was right there asking for his coordinates and he could have jumped. Steve was clearly suicidal, not trying to survive. He could have tried to have this life with Peggy after the war, and he didn’t try. He chose death. When he was defrosted, he couldn’t move on. He still acted recklessly, with little regard for his own safety. He couldn’t follow Natasha’s suggestions to find someone to date. He tried a bit with Sharon in Captain America : the Winter Soldier, but the deleted scenes and that kiss with her felt very forced and awkward and I died from second-hand embarrassment. He grieved Bucky until the Winter Soldier’s mask came off and Steve recognised him. Sam told him “He’s not the kind you save, he’s the kind you stop”. But Steve never gave up on Bucky. He fought him on the helicarrier, but always tried to bring him back, and never tried to kill him. He believed Bucky could return to him. He believed Bucky could recognise him, get his mind back, get his life back, be freed from Hydra and be with him again. Steve was defrosted in 2011. He spent three years in the present, without Bucky. After being saved from drowning in the Potomac, he looked for Bucky for more than two years. Then Civil war happened and Steve still believed in Bucky, he fought for Bucky. Steve lost half of the family the Avengers were, he opposed and fought half of his friends FOR BUCKY. He brought Bucky to Wakanda and they were surely happy there. Then there was the snap and Bucky was gone for five years (and Sam too !!!!) and Steve told everyone to move on but he couldn’t. Though he had evidently moved on from Peggy’s death. She had been dead and buried for years before Thanos appeared. 

And you want me to believe that Steve, who loves Bucky so much he did everything I wrote above, is going to go back in the past, fuck up a timeline or two, to marry someone who had had a full and happy life, with a husband and children, an amazing woman who had the time and strength to grieve Steve and move on from him ? That he is going to marry a woman literally living in the past ? A woman he saw in her last years and he buried ?

When Bucky has just returned, HE IS RIGHT THERE ? Bucky, unlike Peggy, didn’t get to live his life. He was brainwashed, tortured, turned into a killing machine. Bucky was given a second chance. Bucky can live the life he never got. Steve can be with someone he has deep affection for, someone with shared life experience, he can be with his best friend from childhood. The writers wanted to keep it heterosexual ? FINE. (No).  Steve could have perfectly returned to the present and found someone new to date. He would have been with his friends. He would have been with Wanda, with Sam, with Bucky. But that’s not the choice the writers made.

They made Steve abandon Bucky, his childhood friend, (one of) the person(s) he loves the most in the world, someone who was essential to his development as a human being but also as Captain America. 

I saw Bucky waking up from his nightmares, alone in a flat. There was no one there to comfort him. The entire time Bucky has scenes, I imagined how different it would be if Steve had been there. They would have been flatmates in Brooklyn. There would have been a bed, the appartment would have been decorated. There would have been pancakes on the kitchen counter. Steve could have helped Bucky. But no. Bucky is lonely. Trying to recover on his own. His therapist said she’s the only person he called in a week. You think he made a real friend but he’s trying to make amends because he killed his son. Guilt is eating him. He hasn’t replied to Sam (and I am so glad Sam is trying to take care of Bucky, at least check on him, since they were both Steve’s friends).

Steve abandoned Bucky. Bucky is lonely. And I am angry.

Friendship is so important. I met my best friend when I was 12. We became good friends when we were 14. We’re 26 now, going on 27. The age these two were when they went to war. If my best friend died, I would be devastated. If she abandoned me, I would be devastated and FURIOUS, I would be so angry at her.

I can’t imagine how Bucky feels about Steve leaving him alone in this new and surprising world, to fight off his own demons and nightmares. They said “til the end of the line”. Well mayyyyybe toxic masculinity and heteronormativity created the end of the line and ended the relationship for us.

Friendship is a kind of love. Amour. Amitié. I say “I love you” to my friends. In french, in english.

They made Steve abandon his friends, abandon Bucky, I am NEVER getting over it, and while I loved this episode, Steve’s absence is so obvious and heartbreaking. WHAT KIND OF DOUCHEBAG DOES THAT TO THE PEOPLE HE LOVES ?

We’ve all read the fanfics, since 2014. We know what it could have been like. Even without the queerness. But we’re not getting it on screen.

So, thank you, fanfiction writers. You are doing an amazing, necessary job. We love you. We are grateful for you. Every word you write is a gift.

[avengerscompound]

Moving On - Chapter 3

Moving On: A Falcon & Captain Marvel Fanfic

Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Sam Wilson x F!Reader, Carol Danvers x F! Reader

Word Count:  2003

Rating:  E

Warnings:  just a little canon complaint drama this chapter

Synopsis:  You thought Sam Wilson was the love of your life.  You had planned to do it all with him - marriage, kids, see the world.  Even when you’re life gets turned upside down, and you both end up international fugitives, he’s there by your side.

Then Thanos comes.

When Sam is one of the many turned to dust, leaving you alone and pregnant, you don’t think you’ll ever stop grieving.  Yet, everyone tells you that Sam would want you to move on and live your life - that he’d want you to be happy. Gradually you open your heart up to another.  Carol Danvers has lost people too.  First her daughter, then her wife.  As the two of you lean on each other, feelings grow and you move on together.

So what happens when Sam is returned to you?

Chapter 3: The Accords

When Sam had left on his mission to Lagos, you had been worried but not in a major way.  You had thought maybe he might come home bruised up or with a cracked rib.  The last thing you had expected was for a lapse in attention would allow Rumlow to detonate a block leveling amount of C-4, and that when Wanda had tried to contain it and it had taken out a floor of a building instead, she’d get the blame.

Still, while that was bad, it wasn’t something that you had thought would directly affect you.  It might mean there was some argument with governments about Wanda being in the custody of the Avengers and how training should be done to prevent things like that from happening again.  You were fairly sure the insurance policy the Avengers held for such things was going to be hit hard.  But for you and Sam - life and love and wedding plans wouldn’t have been affected.

And then Tony Stark had shown up with General Thaddeus Ross.

Ross had dropped a bomb into the compound and run.  Not a literal bomb, but one that had the potential to be just as damaging.  The Sokovia accords had been dropped off - a document stating that any enhanced individual would have to register themselves with their country's government and the UN and provide them with biometrics as a way to keep tabs on them.  Along with that, anyone working for facilities such as SHIELD, SWORD, or the Avengers as operatives, and any of these enhanced individuals were unable to act on matters of security without the go-ahead from their countries government or the UN.

While that didn’t change too much for you, according to the document, Sam’s wings counted as enhancements.  Steve Rogers and Wanda Maximoff were also both enhanced and would need to provide DNA to the government.   Wanda would be registered as a weapon of mass destruction.

It meant you and Sam had to decide what you wanted to do.  You knew there was no way Sam would sign.  He had already left the airforce, he wasn’t going back to working for the government again so soon.  Especially not with the added condition of registering humans with them.  You also knew he was unlikely to stop fighting - it just wasn’t in his nature.

Unfortunately, you didn’t have a chance to even talk about it before Sam was out the door again.

“Look,” Sam said as he got his best suit out of the closet.  “This is a big deal.  It kinda changes everything for us.  So maybe decide what you really want to do and what you’re okay with?  I mean… worst case scenario I could end up an international war criminal.”

“How likely is that though?”  You asked as you watched him zip the suit into a suit bag.

“I doubt it’s very likely but you gotta consider it, babe,” he said.  “I love you.  I want a life with you, but I don’t want you to end up resenting me because we end up on the run from the law together or something.”

“Right,” you said with a nod.  “You wouldn’t consider… I dunno… retiring?”

“Of course,” Sam said, moving on to the underwear drawer.  “And if these things go through and they make me sign, that’s what I’m gonna say I’m doing.  But you know me, I’m never gonna take some back seat when a big bad goes down.”

“No, I know,” you said.  “Me too.  You sure you don’t want me to come to this?”

Sam shook his head.  “This is Steve’s thing,” he said.  “I didn’t even know Peggy.  I’m gonna be there for him.  I’ll be back in a couple of days.  You think while I’m gone.”

“You know I’m just going to do whatever you do,” you said.  “Right?  I mean, the whole premise sounds a little -” you paused and rocked your hand back and forth “- the whole ‘registering people for being different’ thing?  And then to muzzle them and treat them as dangerous weapons.  It’s fucked up.  And besides.  You’re my man.  Where you go, I go.”

He smiled and came over and kissed your forehead.  “I’m your man, huh?”

“Mm-hmm… my fine man,” you hummed.

He laughed and touched the tip of your nose with his finger.  “Stop trying to distract me, woman.  I’ve got a funeral to go to.”

“Alright, alright,” you said, zipping up his bag.  “You’ll call me when you get there?”

He kissed your forehead again.  “Of course.”

You grabbed his t-shirt before he could pull away and dragged him down into a deep kiss.  He hummed softly and caressed your jaw, before pulling back and grabbing his bag.  “You think on it.  Okay?  No rash decisions.”

You agreed you would and watched him leave, not realizing how this was the point where everything would change.

You had been watching the news in your room when the word about the attack on the UN at the Vienna International Centre.  It hadn’t taken you long to realize if the number one suspect was James Barnes that Steve would be quick to take after him.  Sam had been on the trail of the infamous Winter Soldier since the day you’d met him, there was no way that Steve would let anyone else bring him in.

You also knew that if Steve went, Sam would likely go too.  Not because Sam was Steve’s shadow, but because they both had their moral compasses so inline that they ended up having the same thoughts at the same time.

Which would mean they were breaking international law and that unlikely scenario where they would become fugitives was a little more likely than you thought.

You needed to contact him, but you knew it was dangerous.  You sent him a text.  The two of you had gotten into the habit of sending large groups of emojis with little messages hidden inside.  Most of the time they were for no reason.  There would be a string of eggplants and peaches and then a random egg and milk carton to let the other person know you needed eggs and milk.  It was a habit that was built out of the paranoia you had drilled into you as a spy.  If something happened and you need to message each other covertly, seeing a string of random emojis would at a passing glance just look like the cute-coupley thing you both always did.  It wouldn’t withstand any deep probing, but it would be enough to let each other know that one of you was in trouble or to go grab the burner phone and run.

You texted Sam a string of hearts in kiss emojis with an American flag, a bird, a jogging emoji, and a snowflake mixed in.

He texted back a similar string with a thumbs up in the mix.

You replied with the more sexual emojis, eggplants, peaches, the droplets, the tongue, and among them was the girl with the hand raised in the air.

Sam replied with the same only instead of the girl was a thumbs down.

Yes, they were going after James Barnes.  No, he didn’t want you to come.

You didn’t hear from Sam again for two days.  Two days that only seemed to make matters worse.

Steve had indeed tracked down Barnes, but so had just about everyone else.  It ended with a car chase through the streets of Romania where Steve, Sam, Barnes, and weirdly the new king of Wakanda had been arrested by Rhodey of all people.

Sam called you when they had been taken back to Germany.

“I know you’re antsy, baby,” Sam said.  “But you need to stay put.  Right now they’ve confiscated my wings and Cap’s shield, but we think we’ll be let go.  We went after Barnes.  He’s captured.  That’s it.  Slap on the wrist, don’t do it again, type of bullshit.  Worse comes to worst… well, it’s not the first time they’ve tried taking my wings off me, is it?”

“Sam!”  You yelped.  “This line…”

“I’m joking!  I’m joking!”  Sam said, holding his hands up in front of the screen.  You knew he wasn’t.

“Anyway…” Sam continued.  “I think Tony’s trying to talk Steve into signing the accords.  I dunno if he will or not.  Maybe just to keep the peace.  But there’s no way I’m going to.”

“I want to be there with you,” you pouted.  “I could help.”

“It’ll just make things messy,” Sam said.  “Trust me.  You’re better off there.  It’s not like I can get in any more trouble now Barnes is captured.”

He was wrong.

The next you heard Barnes had broken out and Sam and Steve had taken after him.  You received a text not long after the news broke with a series of hearts and a cellphone emoji.

You went to your closet, grabbed the burner phone, and went out for a run.  You were just leaving the perimeter of the compound when the burner rang.

“Sam?”  You said, pressing the phone to your ear.

“Yeah, baby,” Sam said.  “It’s me.  Did you hear?”

“They’re saying you’re on the run with Barnes,” you said. “Please tell me you were just recapturing him.”

Sam laughed.  “That was the idea,” he said.  “This shit is going deep and we need help.  There’s this guy - wanted to get to Barnes to find out about some other Super Soldiers and where they’re kept.  So now we might have a bunch of really psychotic super soldiers being released on the world by someone even more psychotic than they are.”

“Where are you?  What do you need me to do?”  You asked.

“I’m tempted to tell you to stay put,” Sam said.

“Sam, I’m not…”

“No, I know,” he said.  “But think about it.  You do this - you come after me and we’re fugitives.  We can’t go home.  All this talk of weddings and babies?  It’s not happening.  It’ll be you and me on the run from everywhere.  Best we can hope for is one day when we’re both too old to run we settle in some country that doesn’t extradite.”

“I heard Montenegro didn’t sign,” you half-joke.  “It looks pretty nice there.”

Sam laughed.  “See I was thinking Cape Verde.”

You let out a breath and smiled a little.  “Always thinking, you are.”

“You know it, baby,” Sam said.  “Now, Clint’s coming…”

“What?  But his family?”  You yelped.

“I know… but like you, you can’t tell him no,” Sam said.  “He’s going to grab Wanda.  When you get back, go to her, but say nothing.  Just a little girl’s bonding time.  Okay?  I’m sure Vizh will be hanging around her.  He always is.  Don’t leave her side even if they do make it clear that you’re third-wheeling.”

“Should I pack?”  You asked.

“No,” Sam said quickly.  “I’m even a little worried you grabbing the burner might be too much of a giveaway to what’s going on.”

“I did it while I changed into my jogging gear,” you said.  “Nabbed it with my heart rate monitor.”

“Good.  Well hopefully that covered that gorgeous ass of yours,” he said.  “But aside from deciding you want to hang with Wanda you’re not doing anything strange, okay?  Clint will get there and you go.  Tony’s an asshole, but not that big of an asshole, I don’t think he’d burn our things, so we’re gonna have to trust that the compound will act as our storage until this is sorted out.  If it ever is.”

“Okay,” you said with a sigh.

“I love you,” Sam said softly.  “You take care of yourself.”

“You too, Sammy,” you said.  “Don’t do anything dumber than you already have until I get there and can join in.”

Sam laughed.  “You got it.  I’ll see you soon.”

“Yeah.  See you.”

You disconnected the call and shoved it back behind your heart rate monitor and turned to run back to the compound.  You had a fight to prepare for.

//  NEXT

[kining-the-evil]

Best girl

1940!bucky x reader

Summary: Y/n Stark has known Bucky and Steve for a long time, but pushed aside her feelings for Bucky. But she losses her two best friends in only a few days

Readers POV.

"Are we almost done here?" Steve asks as I wrote something down on his sheet. As one of the few people that worked on the super soldier serum, and the only living one around, I had been put in charge of making sure Steve was always healthy.

"You know, some patients would do you good." I mumbled as I took everything off of him. "Ever since you went into the field I have to work over time to make sure you aren't dead."

"Please we've been doing that for years!" I heard a voice say. I turned to see Bucky stroll into the lab, a huge smile on his face. "I can hardly believe this is the same kid we had to save every other day"

"I can, he's still a stubborn headed asshole."

"Watch your language y/n!" My brother called from the other side of the lab. I glared at Howard rolling my eyes.

"I'll watch my language when you watch your drinking."

"I do watch it, I watch it go right into my mouth." He joked walking up to us, Steve's shield in hand. "Got it fixed up for you, but do me a favor, stop damaging it."

"Sorry." Steve mumbled scratching his neck clearly embarrassed.

"Howard can give you directions when he almost single handily takes down all of hydra." I huffed.

"Excuse me?" Bucky said drawing our attention.

"I said almost!" I defended putting my hands up. Bucky's own hands were quickly at my sides, tickling up and down. "No! Wait fuck!" I screamed trying to twist out of his grip, both of us oblivious to the knowing looks between Steve and Howard.

"Excuse me, the group is ready to leave. We need the captain and Sargent." Peggy called sticking her head in the room making Bucky finally stop.

"Asshole." I mumbled making him smile.

"You know you love me." He winked as he walked towards the door.

"Don't die Sargent." I called out to him as he turned to walk backwards.

"Don't worry doc, if I did I would send you a letter first."

"I'm holding you to that." I said as he and Steve disappeared down the hall. I turned back to my work to start putting it away, but I caught Howard staring at me. "What?"

"So when are you two gonna stop dancing around those feelings?"

"What? Are you talking about me and Buck?" I asked surprised making him roll his eyes.

"Obviously y/n. You give each other the puppy dog eyes more then Carter and Rogers. You really should say something, you never know when you'll see him again."

"Please, Bucky is one of my oldest friends. Me, him, and Steve, the dream team at school. Plus, I know I'll see him again, he didn't write a note.

——————————

“Y/n?” I heard a voice call out. I looked up to see Steve wall towards me. I could tell I looked a mess, my eyes had to be blood shot from crying, and I had a half empty bottle of whiskey next to me that I had been nursing for a couple hours. I felt Steve slid down the wall next to me, and I offered him the bottle.

“Already tried that.” He mumbled, but took it anyway and set it to the side. We just sat in the dark room not saying anything.

“I should have said something sooner.” I whispered. “Should have told him, now I’ll never have the chance.” I felt a fresh set of tears in my eyes, and I pulled my legs up to my chest resting my head on them. “I loved him...” that was the first time I’d admit it out loud.

“I know.” Steve said his arm wrapping around me. It had been nearly 2 years since Steve got the serum, but I would never be used to his large form. “I don’t know if it’s a good time, but I was looking through Bucks things and found this.” He said pushing something on my lap. It was an envelop with my name written on it.

“I’ll give you some space.” He said squeezing my shoulder lightly before standing up. I waited until he was gone until I opened the letter. I pulled it out and when I unfolded it a picture fell out onto my lap. It was one of me, him and Steve years ago when we were in high school, one of the few we had taken. The date was written on the back and I believe Steve’s mom had taken it.

I turned my attention to the letter and it said:

Y/n,

If you get this it ether means something happened to me. I’m not dumb,

I know what happens in war, and know something may happen. I promised

That I would send you a letter if something happened, and I don’t break

Promises. I want to ya you that I’ve loved you a long time. The moment I

Saw you at school I knew you were the most beautiful girl I would ever

See. Getting to know how smart, brave, kind, and funny you are only

Made me fall harder. I hope when you read this I will have already told

You in person how I feel, but you never know. I will always have wished

I could have taken you dancing, but I hope you find another man who

Won’t make you wait. You’ve always been, and always will be my Best girl.

James Barnes.

I felt more tears fall as I read the letter. He felt the same, and I had lost my chance.

————————————

“Steve, give us a moment. Howard is on his way and we will find somewhere for you to land.” I said over the com.

“Y/n, there’s no time, I’m gonna smash into New York if I don’t take it down right now.”

“Steve you’ll die.” Peggy said from besides me.

“I know, y/n, can I have a moment with Peggy?” He asked. Peggy looked over at me, clearly unsure of how I would react.

“Ya. But listen punk, if you die I’m gonna beat your ass.” I whispered, a tear running down my face. I could here him chuckle from the other side.

“Yes ma’am”

I pulled the com off and turned to walk away, not wanting to hear when it happened. I walked away, not even wanting to be in the room, and Howard practically ran into me.

“Y/n, what do I-“ but I just shook my head. He looked over to see Peggy clearly crying, and looked back at me who was trying my headrest not to breach down. “Oh.” He whispered reaching out and pulling me into his arms. Being held by my older brother was the tip I needed that caused me to break down. Howard just badly held me up as I cried. In the corse of a few days, I lost my closed friends.

[miss-authorcita]

A/N: So, I'm obsessed (once again) with Taylor's Fearless album and I've decided to write one shots of each of the songs. They probably won't be that good cause I'm literally just writing them down and posting them. (No spellcheck, no beta reader, no nothing) I just wanna get back to writing and this came to mind.

SUMMARY: It's been almost 2 years since Civil War. You and Steve have grown closer while on the run, but you can't help missing the roller coaster love you and Tony shared. (Inspired by: That's The Way I Loved You)

I was sitting by the window of my ratty Motel room, simply staring at the wet cobblestones of the empty street barely lit up by two lamp lights. My thoughts kept drowning me, it was a new thing with me when I was alone. I made so many mistakes in my life and now the solitude seemed to bring them all to the forefront of my mind.

A knock brought me out of my stupor and I was instantly in alert, gun out of its holster and aiming towards the door.

"Y/N, it's me and Nat." Steve's voice was heard muffled by the wood.

I relaxed, letting my shoulders fall. I reholstered my gun and unlocked the door, letting both of them step into my room. As soon as I locked the door behind them Steve pulled me by the waist and kissed me. Just a quick peck. I blushed and stepped away.

"I got you something." He smiled and pulled out a packet of skittles from his pocket.

I couldn't help, but smile. "I haven't had these in years not since..." I trailed off not wanting to mention his name.

Steve nodded and kissed my forehead.

"I have to stop by Wanda's and Sam's just to check in. I'll be back later tonight, alright?"

I nodded still staring at the bag of skittles in my hand. Steve opened the door and waited for Nat to walk by first. She stopped beside me and squeezed my forearm making me look up. She gave me her signature side smirk. She always voiced her support. She was mine and Steve's biggest shipper.

After the two of them left, I waited till I couldn't hear their footsteps anymore before collapse on the bed. Once again, while in solitude, I let the memories of my mistakes flood my mind.

It was a few hours later when Steve knocked on my door again. I opened and stepped to the side to let him in. He locked up and once again pulled me towards him by my waist. This time he just holds me.

"I know this life is hard. I know how hard...how difficult leaving was..." He's hesitant with his words, always sensible and caring of my feelings.

I just nod, unable to use words, afraid I'll just start sobbing.

"You know I'm doing everything I can to make this as easy for you as possible, right?"

I pull back and stare up at him. I let my hand caress his bearded jaw as I look deep into his blue eyes. "I know, Steve and I appreciate it so much" I whisper and stand on my tip toes to kiss him.

I fall asleep in his arms that night like many before and again like many times before we have to leave suddenly. Sam is the one to wake us, urgently banging on the door. We'd been tracked and we needed to move out quickly. All of us are out of the building in less that 15 minutes. We head to our cars and Steve opens up my door, helping me step in like a true gentleman.

"You look beautiful tonight." He says with a grin and I roll my eyes with a chuckle and close the door. He jogs to the driver side, and we're all off to find our next hideout.

The ride is long and before I know it I've fallen asleep.

*

"Tony!" I yell as soon as the elevator doors open. "Tony Stark!" I shout once again.

"What!? What!? Why are you shouting?" He asks, coming out of the kitchen. His hair is wet , he's wearing a black tank top and sweats and holding a bag of chips.

"Why am I shouting!? Have you seen the news!?" I yell again. His confused face only makes me madder. The rage is building like the rain and thunder outside like it's mimicking my mood.

"I was showering...so no?" He smiles and that is the last straw. I explode, my voice basically shrill.

"All the news channels are showing the explosion! The one of the building you and the Avengers were in! They don't show you guys coming out of it! I called Tony!"

"Sweetheart, I'm fine. I'm alive." He says like my tone isn't a very obvious clue to my state of mind.

"You didn't answer when I called! You what? Came home, showered and were gonna eat fucking chips! Did you even think to let me know you were okay!?" I couldn't seem to lower my voice even if I wanted to. I was so upset.

"I was gonna call you as soon as I sat on the couch." He excuses.

"Fuck you, Tony Stark!" I hissed and started walking to the elevator to leave.

"Friday close access to the elevators." Tony said as he made his way towards me. I dodged him and made my way to the doors that led to the hall.

"Friday if you could, please." At his command the padlock turned red, obviously meaning they would not open, at least not for me.

We stood a few feet apart, me glaring and him smirking. I must've lost my mind that night because I looked out towards his Ironman platform and made a run for it. He followed me out, both of us instantly soaked by the rain. He grabbed my arm and pulled me to face him.

"Are you insane!? What was your plan!? To jump off of the building!?" He yelled over the roar of the rain.

"You're the one who locked all other exits."

"I was bloodied, bruised and covered in soot and cement and dust, okay!?" His change of tactic threw me.

"What?" My eyes were wide. This whole conversation was an unpredictable rollercoaster.

"That's why I didn't call you. I...didn't want to scare you. I don't want you to worry eveytime I go save the world...So I came here, hid the suit, cleaned up and then I was going to call you."

"I always worry about you, Tony."

He sighed and looked away from me. I'd always known his fear. He lost Pepper because she couldn't handle his Ironman life, so he tried to keep me out of the loop thinking he was helping, but it wasn't.

I stepped closer and wrapped my arms around him. "Call me. It helps me to know how you are. Even if you're bleeding out." I said locking eyes with him

He chuckled. "I'll be sure to do that. I love you, Y/N."

"I love you too, you insufferable man."

And with a laugh he kissed me in the rain at 2am we were so in love back then.

*

"We're here." Steve's voice roused me up from my dream, or more like memory.

"Where is he? I mean 'here.' Where is here?" I ask still groggy.

"One of Nat's safe houses." Steve fills in and starts unloading the car.

I'm not sure if it was the dream, but the memory of Tony crushed my mood. Steve must've noticed my shift because he asked if I wanted to sleep alone tonight and I agreed. They're so different that sometimes it's shocking to me. Steve respects my space, Tony was always there even when I didn't want him to, but always needed. Steve has never made me wait, Tony was known for being late. I started telling him the wrong time to try and trick him into arriving on time. They're opposites. Steve gets along so well with Nat who is basically my sister, while her and Tony were never the best of friends. Steve is just charming and endearing and even while being on the run for almost 2 years he's managed to make me feel comfortable. But I can't help it, I miss Tony.

It's while sitting on my bed alone, opening my bag of skittles that the tears come as I remember him. I fall asleep, sobbing that night.

*

I had been sitting in the couch for an hour. Dressed amazing if I may add. Heels and everything which I hated and he wasn't here. He was always so late and I was more than frustrated. I heard the elevator doors open and I didn't even glance. I was gonna strangle the man.

"I know I'm late. I'm sorry, I was--"

I interrupted his apology "Let me guess, you got tied up in the lab? Again."

"Actually no."

His answer suprised me and I turned to glare at him, but my eyes widened when I saw him holding a huge jar full of red skittles.

"W-what is that?"

He smiled and walked closer to me, setting the jar on the table next to the couch.

"I know you only like eating the red ones so ta-da."

I laughed. "Are these the reason you were late or are these a gift to make up for being late?"

"A little bit of both? I forgot to pick the order up earlier today...cause I got tied up at the lab...so I went to pick them up after and that's why I'm late."

I sighed and kissed him. "You drive me insane."

"But that's the way you love me." He teased.

I nodded and kissed him. That's the way I loved him.

*

As I sit outside with Steve, leaning on his chest, I can't help but wonder if he knows. My smiles aren't real, and I've gone numb over the months. I barely feel anything anymore. The numbness worsened after we started whatever this is. Steve has always been looking for someone to fill the emptiness since Peggy and conveniently I needed a balm for the pain of losing Tony. We weren't in love, or at least I hoped he didn't love me...because my heart doesn't feel anything anymore.

*

"You're...you're siding with him?" The crack in his voice made me wince.

"Tony, I can't sign the Accords."

"Why not!?"

"You know what being under the governments control has done to me!" He knew of my past, of the millions of tests I was subjected to, the betrayal, the rules that were only there to hurt me. I'd confided in him every dark moment.

He sighed and rubbed his eyes. "We need to be held accountable." He repeated to me what he'd said at the conference room.

"I know, but not like this. Tony--" I went to touch him and he flinched away. That simple move broke my heart.

"If you side with him, it'll break us."

"Tony..."

He locked eyes with me, begging me to stay, but I didn't. I couldn't and I lost him.

*

I had decided that morning that I needed to talk to Steve. He was my friend before we became anything more and even if it meant making our runaways situation awkward, I needed to be honest with him. I couldn't keep sleeping wrapped in his arms. He needed to know that my heart belonged to Tony. He needed to know that I spent my days dreaming up plans of how I could see him without getting arrested. He needed to know that I looked for him in every person we passed by. He needed to know...or at least I needed to tell someone. I took a deep breath and started walking towards him when a ring broke the peaceful morning silence.

He looked at the number on his burner phone before locking eyes with me. "It's Tony."