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marvelouslycaptivating · 3 months

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A Swarm of Butterflies

Masterlist

Part 8: The Mission

Pairing: Steve Rogers X Reader

Summary: The team goes on their urgent mission and Steve uncovers some unnerving information.

Authors Note: Wow. It’s been awhile. I’m so sorry to leave you all hanging for so long. I have been dealing with all kinds of real life things. I’ve lacked inspiration, and honestly almost gave up writing altogether. Those of you that have hung around…thank you so much. It’s you who’ve inspired me to continue. Just a few parts left in this series!! My other stories will also be getting finished up as soon as possible!!

Click the masterlist link above to read other parts! I’m no longer doing a tag list as it’s hard for me to keep up with. If you’d like to know when a new part is released turn on those notifications!! I love you all dearly.

Steve walked out of your apartment building with a broad smile on his face. His heart felt as though it were about to take flight. He couldn't recall a moment in his life that he'd felt happier.

He unlocked his car and quickly opened the door, tossing his duffle bag on the passenger seat. He slid into the driver's seat and put the key into the ignition, turning it to bring the old car to life.

He took a deep breath in and looked up through the dew-covered windshield. The sun was painting the sky with the vibrant shades of pink, much like the sunrise the two of you had shared the morning you met. He couldn't stop thinking about taking you on a date after that morning, and now he couldn't stop thinking about watching every sunrise for the rest of his life with you.

He reluctantly tore his eyes away from the artistry before him and threw the car in reverse.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

About fifteen minutes later he pulled the car into his designated parking space at the compound and killed the engine. He quickly got out and grabbed his bag, slinging it over his muscular shoulder. He walked across the damp pavement and yanked the door open.

As soon as he stepped inside, he was met by the teams new secretary, Maggie. She was a young intern Tony had hired to help with administrative work. She was studying microbiology. She was always on time, professional, and a huge help to the team.

She had deep expresso eyes and a mane of spiraling curls.

"Morning Maggie." Steve offered her a smile.

"Morning Captain Rogers. Tony asked me to bring you straight to the hangar," She explained, extending a manilla file to him. He took in her perfectly manicured nails. They dark fuchsia shade popped against her skin. He wondered if the color would look good on y/n.

He took the file from her with furrowed brows. He flipped it open in his large hands.

"Straight to the hangar, huh? Must be important." He mused.

"Yes sir, I believe it's Hydra related." She replied, her heels clacking loudly across the marble floor as they walked.

His heart dropped as soon as she said Hydra. He looked down at the folder as he walked, quickly scanning over the mission brief.

A potential Hydra base near a village in the mountains. Villagers have been reported mysteriously missing for months. An informant believes that they are being abducted for experiments.

His palms began to sweat, and his heart rate increased immediately. A feeling of dread pooled in his stomach. He picked up his pace and Maggie struggled behind him to keep up with his inhuman strides.

"I've got it from here Maggie. Thank you!" he called over his shoulder, causing the young interns steps to falter and then retreat back down the hallway.

He reached the hangar in record time. Everyone else was already suited up and arming themselves. Natasha shot him a tight lipped smile. Tony wore a look of concern, and Bucky looked as uncomfortable as he was sure he did.

"Morning sunshine." Nat sing-songed in an attempt to ease his mood.

He tried to force a smile, but he couldn't hide the tension in his shoulders.

"Morning," he clipped, "We ready?" he asked.

"Waiting on you, Loverboy." Tony teased, tapping the front of his armor.

Steve sighed, running a hand through his perfectly styled hair. Bucky slapped a comforting hand on his shoulder signaling that he wasn't alone in how he was feeling.

"Right. Let me suit up then." he muttered robotically as he turned and headed towards the locker room.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Three hours later he was standing at the front of the Quinjet in his suit. His shield gleamed on his back and his gloved hands were in tight fists at his sides. Tony stood beside him explaining everyone's roles.

"Nat you find the control room. Hack into the system and download any files and information you can find on this hard drive. It will automatically upload your findings to Friday." Tony explained, handing the spy a small, metal drive.

"Barnes you and Rogers will go in first. You'll start clearing out any goons and then try to find the villagers that are being held hostage. Get them out and to safety. Sam you'll be our eye in the sky. We need to be prepared if they send for back up."

Steve stared ahead. His mind on a pretty girl back at home. He'd never been so distracted on a mission.

Tony glanced at him before continuing, "I'll go find the center of the base and I'll be placing explosives. After they're set, we'll only have about fifteen minutes before the go off. The blast will be large enough to bring the entire base down, so we need to be quick in and out."

Bucky offered a nod in understanding, Natasha blurted a quick "yes sir", and Sam just started moving. Steve stayed rooted in place his mind still adrift.

"Cap." Tony called, "Cap!"

Steve offered no response. Still staring into the abyss.

Tony's concern only grew as he took in his friends rigid stance.

"Steve." Tony laid a gentle hand on the super soldier's shoulder.

Finally, Steves eyes snapped over to Tony. His brows furrowed and his plump lips pulled into a frown.

"What is going on with you? You never zone out like that." Tony inquired, voice calm.

Steve released the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He shook his head and looked down at his combat boots. Shame colored his features. He was normally a strong leader, but this mission felt different. He couldn't place why, but he was on edge.

"I don't know Tony. Normally I feel confident going into a mission, but ever sense I read that file this morning I've just felt this anxiety that I can't seem to shake." He confessed.

Tony nodded slowly, trying to understand.

"Look, I know Hydra puts you and Barnes on edge, but hundreds of people have gone missing, and they need our help. I wouldn't have called you in on your weekend off if I didn't need you." Tony explained.

Steve sighed. "I know."

"Alright, let's think of something positive to help get your mind off things. Tell me something good Rogers." Tony began to walk toward the back of the Jet. His armor whirring with every step.

Steve smiled for the first time since he'd arrived at the compound. His ocean eyes crinkling at the corners.

"She told me she loved me this morning." Steve confessed, heart fluttering once again.

Tony chuckled as he adjusted his armor.

"Finally," he exclaimed, "If I had to watch you guys give each other puppy eyes for another movie night I think I would've exploded." He joked.

Steve let out a laugh, reaching down to fiddle with the collar of his suit.

“It was different Ton.” Steve tried to explain, his voice shyly dropping an octave.

Tony turned eyes trained on his friend. Steve, the most level headed man he knew, wore a besotted smile. A glow emanated from him, and for the first time since Tony had met him…he looked at peace. He looked happy, and Tony’s heart felt warm.

“She isn’t just another girl. She’s everything, Tony.” He confided, “My heart couldn’t beat without her. She is everything I have searched for all these years. She is the other half of me that I thought was lost in that ice all those years ago.” Steve’s voice was thick with emotion, and his strong hands trembled slightly.

“I have to get home to her. For the first time in a long time home doesn’t feel far away.” His eyes finally rose to meet Tony’s, and tears brimmed his lower lash line.

Tony smiled a genuine, heartfelt smile as he strolled over.

“Don’t you worry. I’ll make sure you make it back, I swear it.” Tony promised, his hand squeezing Steve’s shoulder.

Steve offered him a smile and discreetly wiped at his eyes as Tony turned and called out to the rest of the team.

“Approaching our target in ten. Let’s do this!” He closed his helmet as he readied for the danger ahead.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

As soon as the team entered the facility things went sideways. Hundreds of Hydra soldiers poured in from every angle, effectively trapping them at the entrance. They spent what felt like ages trying to take them down.

By the time every soldier had been eliminated they were all breathless and filthy. Natasha had a slight limp, Steve's lip was split, and Tony's armor was covered in dents.

"Alright." Tony breathed, hands on his hips. "Lets get this done. Stick to the plan. If you run into trouble ask for help over the comms." He ordered, taking off down a dimly lit path Friday suggested would take him to the center of the base.

Steve looked over at Natasha. The redhead was in pain, although she'd never admit it.

"I'm gonna go with Nat. You got this Buck?" Steve asked, eyes swinging over to his childhood friend.

Bucky nodded confidently reloading the gun in his hands.

"I don't need you to babysit me, Cap." Natasha sassed, brushing dirt from her uniform.

"Course not." he smiled, turning to take off down the hallway opposite of the direction Tony had gone.

He moved briskly down the abandoned corridor. The lights flickered eerily overhead, and he felt goosebumps explode over his arms. His stomach churned; something didn't feel right.

They swept a dozen empty rooms before finding the control room. Natasha hobbled over to the computers. She hacked into the system as quickly as her shaking hands would allow as Steve stood watch at the door.

He took a few deep breaths in a feeble attempt to calm his racing heart. His mind wondering to the girl he’d left behind at home. What were you doing right now? Were you finishing the book you’d started last week? Were you cuddled up on the couch in your pajamas watching the movies you were supposed to watch together this weekend? Did you miss him as much as he missed you?

He pictured your breathtaking smile as you gazed up at him before he left the apartment. He remembered the way his heart felt as though it were going to burst. He couldn’t wait to make it home to you.

He was suddenly snapped from his thoughts when Natasha spoke.

“Cap, get over here.” Her voice was laced with urgency.

Steve pushed himself away from the cold concrete wall behind him and strolled over to the spy. His boots made heavy thuds in the tile floor.

“Hydra has been running tests on locals just like we thought, but their experiments are failing. Every person they’ve used in their trials have died.” She explained, her eyes cold.

Steve sucked in a breath and ran a hand over his face. This was not what he wanted to hear.

“They can’t seem to get their super soldier serum right.” She explained further.

He eyes the words in the screen. They were all in Russian. He couldn’t read them. He knew Nat was sparing him all the gruesome details.

Suddenly she reached out and grabbed his forearm softly. Her eyes bore into his own. The look on her face made his heart speed up.

“Hydra has a plan to kidnap Y/N.” She stated calmly.

His heart stopped inside his chest. His lungs constricted and all of a sudden he couldn’t breathe. Had he heard her correctly?

“What?” He croaked out breathlessly.

“They plan to abduct her. They know that you’ll turn yourself in to free her.”

His large hands began to tremble. He could feel sweat beading in his furrowed brows.

His girl was in danger. The love of his life was in serious danger…because of him.

“No.” He whispered, his throat betraying him. He began to shake his head rapidly. His mind was spiraling out of control.

He began to pace the floor. His hands reaching up to tug at the golden strands of hair on his head.

If Hydra got ahold of Y/N there’s no telling what they’d do. He couldn’t stomach the thought.

His mind raced as alarm bells blared in his head. His blood ran cold.

This was a set up. This mission was a decoy. Hydra knew that the Avengers would show up if they suspected that civilians needed rescuing, but there was no one left to rescue.

That was why there were soldiers upon entry, but no back up had been called. No alarms went off. They practically waltzed right in and got into their database easily.

They were distracting them so that they could abduct Y/N.

His pacing immediately ceased.

“Damn it!” He bellowed, his fist colliding with the wall. Little pieces of concrete rained to the floor.

“This was a set up!” He turned toward Nat, chest heaving. “We’ve gotta get back. They’re going after her now.” He seethed.

Nats mouth opened and closed rapidly, but no words escaped. She turned and yanked the hard drive from the computer before effectively typing in a code to destroy the system.

“Let’s go!” She demanded as she strolled across the room.

She pressed her delicate fingers to the piece of equipment in her ear.

“Back to the jet, now. We’ve gotta get back.” She barked the command as she led Steve back the way they came.

“What?” Bucky questioned a minute later. “I haven’t found the hostages yet.”

Steve sighed and reached up to his own ear piece.

“There aren’t any. They’re all dead. This was a set up.” He stated flatly.

Nat spared him a concerned glance. His shoulders were rigid. His lips pressed into a thin line.

“What? What are you talking about?” Tony demanded, sounding out of breath.

Steve’s hands clenched into fists at his side.

“Hydra sent us here as a diversion. They’re going to abduct Y/N.” Natasha explained as Steve’s fist flew into another wall.

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sadadaptive-daydreaming · 2 years

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Baby on the way | Steve Rogers x Reader

Word Count: 2k +

Summary: Being pregnant with Steve’s child hasn't halted your need for him, in fact it's only made it stronger. But Steve isn't so on board with the idea of getting intimate until you convince him otherwise ;)

Warning: 18+ Fluffy, light smut. Intimacy during pregnancy. (Everything described/implied in this oneshot is consensual.)

He couldn't wait to go home. He couldn't wait to see you. And yet, much like all day, another impromptu meeting was hindering him from driving to the Brooklyn apartment you had bought together and spending the evening with you.

“Mr. Rogers, you’re needed in conference room two.”

The words suffocated him as they swarmed about the tiny boxed-in cubicle he had wandered into following what he had hoped would be his last summit for the day.

When the words stopped ringing in his ears, he searched for their owner and met the eyes of a fiery red head who stood in the doorway of the makeshift office.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t,” Steve said, shrugging his blazer onto his body and when it was fitted to him properly, he adjusted his blue tie.

His blunt response had procured a look of confusion from the woman who just so happened to be the assistant of Thaddeus Ross, the US Secretary of State. But Ross was much more than just his title. He was in fact the driving force behind pushing Steve and the rest of the Avengers to sign the Sokovia Accords—an agreement that would see enhanced individuals governed by the United Nations.

Steve understood the urgency of taking responsibility for one’s actions, he was never in dispute of that. This was largely the only reason he was willing to hear out the UN’s proposal for governance, but he was nowhere ready to sign a contract without understanding what sovereignty he and his fellow Avengers would lose in the process.

And so all day, he was in meeting after meeting listening to UN officials coax him into signing his name on the same dotted line—each discussion more sugar coated than the last. Now that the clock had finally struck 5pm, he was ready for it all to end for the day. He was willing to come back tomorrow and acquire more information, but he couldn’t listen to another word when his brain was full of you.

Being Captain America wasn’t a responsibility he took lightly. Using his strength, agility and courageousness was a choice he made every day. It was a commitment that overwhelmed the majority of his time. He didn't have time for himself. He didn't have time for friends. He especially didn't have time for relationships. But that all changed when he met you.

“But sir,” Ross’ assistant began again, her long ginger curls swaying as she shook her head. “Mr. Stark will be attending the conference as well.”

This made Steve laugh. It erupted loudly from his stomach.

“I’m sure Tony won’t need me there,” he sneered.

And it was true, he didn’t. Tony had already made up his mind about obtaining accountability for the actions of the Avengers, and the Vienna bombing at a UN ceremony that killed twelve people, including T’Chaka, the former King of Wakanda, only solidified his stance.

“He does,” she reassured as Steve began to walk towards her in an attempt to slip right past her and out of the office.

Steve shrugged. “Well he'll have to do without me this evening.”

And then he was off, leaving her in the distance as he walked his way through the New York UN building until he found his Harley-Davidson parked outside.

He mounted the bike and turned it on, a loud purr notifying anyone in the parking lot that he was leaving. With one hand pulling at the throttle and the other adjusting the motorcycle’s small circular mirror, Steve began his journey home to you.

⍟ ⍟ ⍟

There wasn't enough time in the day to go to work, grade a month’s worth of assignments, prep lessons for the rest of the working week and then come home and make your husband a five-course meal. It just couldn't happen, and so as you stood in line waiting for your order of Chinese takeout, you hoped Steve would be alright with yet another dinner picked up on your way home from Midwood High School.

The first year of your marriage had been full of home-cooked meals prepared with enough love to drown cupid. But as you transitioned from a middle school teacher to a high school English instructor and Steve found himself wrapped up in conflict after conflict, neither of you had time for cooking by your third year wed. But that didn't mean you two still couldn't squeeze in a moment of your busy lives for each other.

As you finally reached your apartment after a long walk from Panda Express, the food gripped tightly to your side, you had half expected your home to be filled with the clanging of plates and cutlery as Steve set the dining table in anticipation of your arrival. But when you pushed open your front door, only silence greeted you.

“Steve?” you called out.

And when no response returned, you set the takeout on the kitchen island and walked over to the landline, the answering machine blinking brightly. With a quick press of the play button, Steve’s voice as sultry as ever filled the small room, honking cars sounding all around him.

“Hi honey, it's me. I'm stuck on the FDR parkway and I'm going to be home late. I should have left work earlier but I've had one of those days. I'll tell you all about it when I get home. I love you.”

A soft click chimed and then his voice was gone.

“Oh Steve, again?” you whispered to yourself.

You knew what you were getting yourself into by marrying the Captain America, and yet nothing could have prepared you for all the nights spent completely alone and the nonstop worrying while Steve was off fighting yet another outer-worldly threat to humanity. You couldn't fault him for putting his duty to protecting others first—that was just the kind of man he was, and it was one of the many reasons you married him in the first place.

But still you couldn’t hide your disappointment as you watched his dinner go cold or went through celebratory moments by yourself. Finding out you were a few weeks pregnant should have been the happiest day of your life, but instead it was as isolating as ever with Steve away in Austria and it broke your heart to deliver the news to him over the phone. He couldn’t kiss you, caress you, or even rub his hand along your belly, feeling the spot that would house his child for nine months. But he was home now, and being an hour late was far better than being oceans away.

Even though you had a long work day, you still wanted to make tonight special. It wasn't an anniversary; you didn't have any more surprising news to share. Today was a typical spring day, but whenever Steve was in town, you cherished every waking moment together.

You kept the takeout warm in the bag as you set the table for two. The small dining room just off of the even smaller kitchen oozed sensualness as you lit an array of white tea candles scattered around the porcelain dinnerware. Once all was to your taste, you headed to the master bedroom.

If you were going to put in this much effort into an improvised dinner date, you might as well dress the part too. You scoured through your closet looking for the scarlet V-neck dress you had worn on only one other occasion—you’re second date with Steve to a winery. When you finally located it, you undressed before your full-length mirror examining your growing belly in the reflection. In less than five months, you would be holding your newborn who was now just about the size of an avocado in your belly. You gave your stomach one last rub before slipping the dress on, and to your surprise, it fit right over your growing bump. You didn’t appreciate it then, but now you were oh-so-grateful for the dress’ stretchy fabric.

You did your best to zip the back up as far as you could. Then you departed back to the kitchen and waited for Steve.

⍟ ⍟ ⍟

After being stuck in traffic for what felt like hours, Steve was finally home. He set his keys on the entryway console table and took off his shoes.

“Honey!” he called to you. “Are you around?”

He was still upset from his work day as he looked up and undid the top button of his white dress shirt, then he loosened his tie. But that all changed as you walked into the tiny foyer of your apartment that just had enough room for the two of you.

“Wow.”

That was all Steve could say as he took you in top to bottom.

He stammered, “you look—”

It brought butterflies to your stomach knowing that you could still make him speechless even after all this time.

“Pregnant,” you finished for him.

He laughed and then shook his head.

“I was going to say beautiful.”

You could feel your cheeks flush as Steve moved towards you. And with one swift movement, he had pulled you into him, his muscular arms wrapped around you.

“I've wanted to do this all day,” he whispered.

As he spoke, you could feel his chest vibrate against your cheek where your head was resting. If he could hold you like this forever, you would die happy.

He loosened his hold around you and took a step back.

“What?” you questioned, searching as far into his deep blue eyes as they'd allow.

He positioned his hand under your face and pushed your chin up.

“And I've wanted to do this,” he said before planting his lips on yours.

It was sweet and gentle. No matter how many times you kissed him, each felt like the very first time. He made you helplessly giddy and when his hands explored your body, he sent shivers down every last inch of your body.

“Steve...” you breathed into his mouth, gasping for air.

You could feel him smile against your lips. He loved when he got you all hot and bothered.

“Shh,” he mouthed, silencing you back into submission, back to mingling your tongue with his.

And for a while it worked until you pulled away.

“Steve,” you stammered between uneven breaths, “I've gotten Chinese takeout for us.”

He grinned at how flustered he had made you.

You continued after another deep breath, “It's already cold.”

He tugged you back into his chest and held you there.

“Well it'll just have to stay cold,” he teased, his breath hot against the top of your head. “I'm not finished with you yet.”

If his voice was tangible it would have stripped you of your clothes right then and there. Steve was so effortlessly sensual it was surprising that you were able to get anything done around him. How could you not want to jump his bones all day every day when he looked so good and said all the right things? The answer was simple: you couldn't.

You loosened yourself from Steve’s strong grip. Then you reached for his hand, pulling him along with you through your apartment’s main hallway towards your bedroom.

When you walked through the doorway you didn’t need to say anything, you both knew what was about to go down.

You stood in front of your bed, your back towards him.

“Unzip me,” you whispered and Steve was happy to oblige.

He moved slow. One hand pulled down the zipper as far as it could, the other was planted on your hip. He placed kisses on the back of your neck, working his way down your spine. As goosebumps prickled at your skin, he helped you step out of the red fabric. Completely exposed, he spun you around so he could take in your bare front.

“God you're beautiful,” he gushed, his eyes trailing over every inch of you.

Then he bent down on his knees so that he was eye-level to your stomach. He placed both of his palms against your belly, his hands warm against your skin.

“I hope they look just like you,” Steve whispered.

You snaked your hands through his hair and smiled down at him.

“Oh Steve.” His name poured off your lips slowly, the way honey oozes from a spoon.

And that was enough to make his eyes haze over with desire. He wanted you right here, right now and you'd be lying to yourself if you said you weren't craving the same.

You pulled at Steve’s biceps, urging him to stand back up. And when he had done so, you got to work unbuttoning his dress shirt as he yanked off his tie. Your hands ran up and down his exposed chest, tracing over every dip and crevice of his muscular upper half. Once they brushed upon the top of his pants, you maintained eye contact with him as you began toying with his belt, teasing him.

“Y/n...” he groaned. He hated when you made him wait.

“Is this what you want?” you teased, fondling his large buldge begging to burst through his pants.

He sighed loudly and you took it as a yes.

After undoing his belt buckle and unzipping his pants, you reached your hand deep into his boxers. You had Steve growling your name as your worked him to a point of no return. Over and over, he threw his head back and you smiled at your handiwork. But before he could reach his end, he grabbed at your hand.

“On the bed,” he demanded.

His voice was far to stern and salacious to not obey and so you found yourself mounting the mattress with haste, your back tingling at the contact of the cold sheets.

It didn't take him long to spread you open and give his full attention to your most intimate parts. He had you screaming his name as he kissed in between your thighs, his tongue brushing all the right spots.

When you finally dug your fingers into his dirty blonde strands, pulling him closer to where you needed him to be, he decided that it was time to quit before he lacked the strength to control himself. Steve was the definition of self-restraint but around you, composure flew out the window.

“Noooo,” you pouted, “don't stop.”

Steve shook his head and then stood up, taking a step from the bed. If he could put some distance between you and him, he might just be able to hold out.

You sat upright and reached for his hand. “I need you.”

“I can't,” he protested, shaking his hand free of yours. “I'm going to hurt you.”

You stood and moved towards him, pressing your front against his.

“You won't,” you assured.

Steve glared down at your belly and like a lightbulb sparking to life above your head, you finally realized where his hesitation was stemming from.

You brushed your hand against his arm.

“You won't hurt the baby either, Steve.”

He shook his head again, that was all he could think to do.

“We just have to go slow and be gentle,” you said.

The thought of him slowly pumping into you brought chills to your skin. You wanted him so bad you could barely contain it anymore.

“But you know I can't do that,” he answered.

“Steve!”

“I’m sorry.”

And he was, truly. He couldn't live with himself if he hurt you or the baby.

“Babe, I promise you we'll be fine,” you protested.

“How do you know that?” he questioned.

You grabbed both of his hands and positioned them on your protruding bump.

“Because I know you couldn't hurt us even if you tried,” you said.

Steve’s gaze was fixed on your stomach, he couldn't focus on anything else.

“But if you don't want to do it, you don't have to,” you continued, caressing his cheek in your hand. “Steve, we can wait. I promise I won't be upset.”

Finally, he eyes shifted from your belly and trailed up to your face. Something had shifted in him and his gorgeously lustful look returned.

“If you feel even the slightest bit of discomfort, you have to tell me. Deal?” he propositioned, wrapping his hands around your waist.

You stretched as tall as you could reach on your tippy-toes and kissed him softly.

“Deal,” you smiled into his lips.

Steve walked you backwards until your legs hit the front of the mattress. Then he gently lifted you up and lowered you carefully onto the bed. Your stomach performed a routine of backflips as you watched him lick his hand and then stroke it on himself. He positioned his pelvis at your entrance and with the smallest of thrusts, he was inside you.

You both sighed instantly at the friction.

“Is this okay?” he asked, maintaining a slow pace.

“Perfect...” you moaned, gripping at the bedsheets to either side of your hands.

You two continued in this gentle rhythm together, working each other’s body until all that was left was pure bliss. Steve was doing his best to control himself, so much so that you could feel him clenching inside you as you straddled him. That couldn't have been pleasurable you rationed and though your body said otherwise, you forced yourself to roll off of him.

“What's wrong?” he asked in a panic. “I knew I was going to hurt you.”

You rested down beside him. And once you were comfortable, you began massaging his chest slowly to calm him.

“You didn't baby,” you assured. Then you sighed, “I'm the one hurting you.”

Steve rolled onto his side to meet you face to face.

“You haven't,” he said. “How could you hurt me?”

If he weren't Captain freakin’ America, you would have been offended by such a statement. The man you were just atop of was practically invincible, and yet he was exhausting himself in an effort to not knock the wind right out of you.

“I’m making you strain yourself and I don't want that,” you sighed. “Let me just help you finish.”

Before he could protest, you dove towards his groin and took him all in. His body twitched at the sensation and you grinned in satisfaction. You bunched your hair into a ponytail and motioned him to take it. Without hesitation, he did, guiding you until he was cursing profanities.

When you could finally speak again, you teased him. “Language, Mr. Rogers, language.”

“I would mind my language if I could,” he answered, nearly breathless.

“Was I that good?” you taunted.

He swung his arms towards the headrest and propped his hands under his head. “Hell yes.”

“Steve!” you laughed, “you've become a full on potty-mouth.”

You rolled onto your side and gazed at his side profile as he laughed along with you. You couldn't help but admire how perfect he looked when he was his most candid self. If father time would let you, you could stay right here and stare at him for the rest of infinity.

“Should we go eat now,” Steve smirked, halting your fantasies. “Or would you like to stare at me some more?”

Of course, you denied his accusation. “I was not starring, Steve.”

But that was as far from the truth as humanly possible. You couldn’t help but stare at him in amazement that he was all yours, and when you brought your little bundle of joy into the world, you had no doubt that you would fell just the same towards them.

332 notes · View notes

andydrysdalerogers · 2 years

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Memory ~ Steve Rogers

Summary: When you come back from a mission injured, you don't remember anything... or anyone...

Word Count: 5k+

Songs:

Remember Me – Performed by Nick Pitera The Scientist – Coldplay - performed by Corinne Bailey Rae Good Thing – Reel Big Fish Kiss Me – Ed Sheeran

Warnings: traumatic brain injury, angst, fluff, a really cute teddy bear and really smad Steve...

YN, where are you?

"I'm on my way. Thirty seconds." You were running towards the jet, the mission a complete failure. The rest of your team on this mission, Tony, Rhodey and Sam were already there, waiting for you. You were separated and got caught on your own. You had been lucky so far, managing to take down all the HYDRA agents you encountered. You could see the jet in your line of vision and your thoughts drifted to Steve. That tiny distraction allowed an explosion to throw you against a tree, hitting your head.

YN!

That was the last thing you heard before darkness engulfed you.

Steve waited anxiously for the jet to arrive. It was hard enough for you and him to be on separate missions but his needed to be a deep cover mission while yours was supposed to be easy. Sam and Tony promised they would watch over you. He rocked on his heels and then his heart leaped into his throat when he saw the jet approaching. Bruce appeared with the gurney and Bucky came to stand by Steve. "She'll be ok, punk." Steve merely nodded.

The jet landed and the men rushed forward. You were lying on the center table, a bandage wrapped around your head, cuts and bruises decorating your arms and face. Steve picked you up to place you in the gurney. "Baby, can you hear me?"

"She hasn't responded since the explosion Cap," Sam explains. "Her vitals have been ok but so far no response."

"Let's get her to medical and run the scans," Bruce said. Bucky, Steve, Sam and Bruce pushed the gurney to medical with Tony and Rhodey following closely. Bruce immediately drew blood and started to push you towards the MRI. He stopped Steve from entering. "I can't let you in there, Steve. It will be about half an hour for the scans and then another hour for the results. I'll let you back in when we are done."

Steve nodded and went back to the living room where the rest of the team waited. Tony had poured himself a drink, trying to calm his nerves. Natasha, Wanda and Vision had joined the guys, waiting for news. "Bruce is running test. We won't know for a while," Steve explained. He paced the floor, deep in thought.

Nat was the first to speak. "What happened? I mean, it was supposed to be an easy recon mission."

Tony threw back the drink in his hand. "We got separated. I went in with her and they were waiting. I went to cover her and she got pushed into another hallway. She did great until we got out in the open. Then I don't know how they got the drop on her. The rest of the us had made it to the jet. I saw her and a second later there was an explosion and then she flew into the tree."

Hearing the story made Steve snap. "You were supposed to be watching her," he muttered. He looked up. "You fucking promised me that you would take care of her."

Bucky got up seeing the rage building in Steve's face. "Steve, breathe man." He grabbed for Steve's arm but Steve shook him off.

"They all promised me that she would be safe, that my fiancé would come home to me in one piece." Steve had fury in his eyes, the veins bulging in his arms and neck.

"Steve, we're sorry. We didn't know," Sam tried to explain.

"I trusted you Sam. I fucking trusted you. You're supposed to be my best friend. You fucking promised me that you would have her six! So why is she in the god damn med bay?!"

Nat stood up. "Steve, that's enough." He whipped his head at Nat. "It was an accident, Steve. She's alive and they brought her home," she said gently.

Finally, Steve broke down. Nat wrapped her arms around Steve as he started to cry. "I almost lost her."

Bruce walked back in. "She's stable but still unconscious. Steve, if you want, you can sit by her bedside."

Steve went in and saw you in the medical bed, an IV in your arm, oxygen in your nose. You looked so small but peaceful. Steve leaned in and kiss your forehead. "I'm here love."

For a week, Bucky, Sam and Steve kept vigil at your bedside, while the rest of the team handled everything else. Steve rarely left your side, holding your hand. Sam and Bucky had to convince him to eat something, rest, shower, reminding him how angry you would be if he didn't take care of himself.

On the eighth day, Steve was finally sleeping, exhaustion taking over him. Sam sat by your bedside, reading a book to you. He heard a noise and looked down at you, shock hitting him as your YEC eyes stared up at him. "Holy shit."

"Where am I?" you demanded.

"You are in the medical bay. Let me get Bruce." Sam rushed out of the room while you laid on the bed, looking around.

Bruce came in with Sam. "Hi, welcome back." He started to check everything over. "How do you feel?"

"Sore." Bruce went to check on your heart but you recoiled. "Don't touch me!"

Bruce stepped back. Sam moved forward. "YN, sweetheart, we are just trying to check on you."

"Who the hell is YN?"

Sam's mouth dropped open and looked at Bruce. Bruce looked at you, sympathy crossing his face. "Ok, my name is Bruce. This is Sam. We are part of the Avengers. Just like you. Your name is YN. You are an agent."

You looked into this gentle man's face and understood that he wasn't lying to you. "My name is YN?"

"Yes. You took a blow to your head about a week ago and you have been unconscious since then. Do you remember that?"

You shook your head. You sat up and pushed yourself to the corner of the bed and hugged your knees, scared of what was happening.

"We need to get the team together."

"Ok," Sam approached you again. "I'm going to talk with the rest of the team so we can introduce you slowly to them. Bruce is going to check you. I'll be right back." He left the room to wake Steve and the others. "Steve, man. Wake up." He gently shook the super soldier.

"Sam, what is it?" Steve asked groggily.

"It's YN."

Steve sat up quickly. "Is she ok? Did something happen? Oh god, I knew sleeping was a bad idea." He started to rush to pull on pants and a shirt.

"Steve, calm down. I need you to be calm."

"Sam, what happened."

"She's awake. But there is a problem."

"A problem?"

"She doesn't know who she is or who we are. Bruce had to tell her what her name is. She didn't remember him, or me, or what had happened."

Steve's face fell. "She doesn't remember?"

"No, it doesn't look like it. Bruce is checking her over. We need to tell everyone else. She's scared. Steve," Sam placed his hand on Steve's shoulder, "I know you want to see her but if she doesn't remember who she is, she may not remember you."

Steve felt his heart break. "Ok. I just want to see her."

Sam sighed. "Let's just get the team together and then see what Bruce recommends. This has to be overwhelming for her."

The team was gathered with Nat and Bucky sitting with Steve. Bruce came in. "She had severe memory loss. It may be temporary." He looked at Steve. "It may not. I think it best we just introduce ourselves one by one. Let's not overwhelm her more than she already is. Umm..." he hesitated.

"Bruce, please just tell us." Steve pleaded with the doctor.

"She has asked for Sam to stay with her."

Sam's eyes widen with surprise. "Me?"

"I think this is like imprinting. Your face was the first one she saw. She may not trust you but you were there. I would go back in and tell her about yourself and then we can start introducing everyone else."

Sam looked at Steve. "I'm sorry."

"No, it's ok. Just take care of her. But I would like to be next to be introduced."

"Yeah, of course man." Sam stood up and went to the medical room.

You sat there, chewing your thumb. Bruce explained what had happened. It explained why your head hurt but it didn't explain how you ended up here. You just chanted in your head, My name is YN and I am an Avenger. The door opened and the same guy as before came back in. What was his name again?

"Hi YN," he said. "Do you remember me from earlier?" You nodded. "My name is Sam."

"Sam," you repeated. "You were here when I woke up."

"Yes, I was. We've been taking turns."

"We?"

"Others that you will meet very soon." He sat by your bedside. "How are you feeling?"

"My head hurts and I'm a little nervous, confused. What are you to me?"

"I'm your friend." Sam offered you a smile. "I'm one of your best friends." He took your hand.

"You called me sweetheart earlier. And I have this ring," you showed him your left hand. "Does that mean we are engaged?"

Sam stopped breathing. He took a moment to think about what to say. He didn't want you to panic. "No, YN, we are not engaged. It's... a promise ring. You made a promise and you put on the ring to remember."

"Oh. But you like me?"

"Of course."

"And you'll stay beside me?"

"Always YN. I'll be here for you always." Sam stood up. "I'm going to get the next person for you to meet. I'll be right back."

You finally smiled. "OK. Thank you, Sam."

"You're welcome sweet... YN." Sam finally realized why you were now making assumptions. He stepped out of the room and leaned against the wall. Steve came down and saw him there.

"Sam?"

"Steve. We have a bigger problem." Sam closed his eyes. "I am so sorry."

"Sorry? Sorry for what?"

"When YN woke up and was panicking, I tried to call her down. I called her 'sweetheart' on reflex. You know I've called her that all the time." Steve nodded. "She took that as I was her partner."

Steve looked at him confused until it clicked. "She thinks you two are in a relationship. Did you correct her?"

"She looked at her ring on her hand and ask if we were engaged. I said no that it was a promise ring. I didn't want her to panic more. That's why she wants me to stick with her. I'm sorry. It was a reflex."

"No, no it's ok." Steve rubbed his neck. "I want to see her, but we can't tell her yet, can we?"

"We should ask Bruce if it will affect her recovery."

"Sure ok. Umm, let me just see her. I won't say anything." Sam nodded and led him into the room.

"YN, this is Steve. He's our team leader."

You looked at the attractive blonde and smiled. "Hi Steve. I'm YN. But you know that."

Steve smiled, trying to keep his composure. "Hi YN. How are you feeling?"

"I'm ok. A little confused." Steve came to sit by you. "Are you my friend?"

Steve felt the stab of pain in his heart. He swallowed. "Yes, I am. All of us are very good friends."

"All?"

"Oh, sorry. You haven't met the others but you will. We are a pretty tight group here."

"That's nice. I live here?"

"Yes, you have a room here. I can take you when Bruce releases you."

"Do I live with Sam?"

Sam quickly jumped in when he saw the look on Steve's face. "No, we don't live together. You have your own room because... because you wanted to have your own space until you got married."

"Oh. That sounds smart. Don't want to be involved with someone who might leave," you said with a smile.

Sam smiled back. "YN, we have to get the next person, but we'll be back." The pair stood up and walked out of the room. Steve sagged against the wall. "Are you ok Steve?"

"Yes, I just... I just wasn't ready for how much that would hurt. She doesn't know me. Three years and it's all gone. And what about her room? Our room. She... I..."

"Ok, one step at a time. We talk to the team first, we'll get a room ready for her, and then we work on getting the truth to her. Everything is going to work itself out, you'll see."

Over the next few days, you met the team and started to spend more time with them. As promised, Sam walked you to your room. It had photos of the team, little knick-knacks that you loved, according to him. You were right in the middle of the floor between Steve and Sam. Steve accompanied you, an unknown look on his face. You made yourself a note to ask Sam but promptly forgot it as soon as your head hit the comfortable bed.

Bucky was the one who helped you navigate learning the tech in your room since he had gone through the learning processes the most recently. But you stuck to Sam as much as you could while he was home. When he left for a mission, you would stick to Steve, Bucky or Natasha. They made sure someone was home with you.

Tony eventually made you a tracking bracelet as you would get lost so much. One incident had you leaving the compound for a walk and not finding your way back through the trees. You thought Steve would cry when he found you a few hours later. Steve was very protective of you, even if you didn't understand why.

A few weeks after the accident found the team in the living room for movie night. You had fallen asleep on Sam's shoulder, much to the ire of Steve. His jaw was hard, staring at you and the closeness of Sam to you. Sam had wrapped an arm around you to keep you comfortable. Steve sighed and got up to get another beer. Bucky had been watching and followed.

"Punk, you need to relax."

"I can't Bucky. He gets to hold her. He gets to comfort her. What do I get? I feel like I am losing her. Like I've already lost her. I love her and she doesn't even know." Steve braced himself on the counter, his head bowed.

"You never know, she could wake up from this fog she's in." Bucky stood next to Steve with his arms crossed. "It's not Sam's fault. It's not her fault. It isn't anyone's fault."

"I miss her Bucky. I miss sleeping next to her, I miss her shampoo in my bathroom. Our stupid stuffed bear she... she insists on sleeping with even though I'm there. I just... miss her."

You stood just outside of the door, overhearing bit of the conversation. You had gotten up to get some water when you heard the boys talking. Instead of going in, you headed to your room. You sat on the couch where a bear was sitting. You looked at it closely, not sure if this is the bear Steve was talking about. You saw some stitching on the paw of the bear.

Steve + YN

Sam knocked on your door a few minutes later. "Come in."

"Hey YN, whatcha doing?"

You held up the bear. "What does this mean?"

Sam sucked in air. Everyone knew about that bear. Steve had gotten it for you after your first fight. He had brought it to you with a smoothie and flowers. You had stitched his name and yours on it and gave it back to him on your first anniversary. From then on, it was "our" bear. "Umm...."

"Sam, please, just tell me."

Sam closed the door and sat across from you. "YN, you and I were not a couple. Friends, yes. But not a couple."

"Oh." You remembered the looks that Steve would get. "Why does Steve look sad all the time? Why does he act weird around me?"

Sam took your hand. "Steve and you were a couple. Before your accident." You looked at him open mouthed. "Your ring... it is an engagement ring. From Steve."

You stood up and backed away from Sam. "You lied."

"No sweetheart, I just bent the truth. I didn't want to overwhelm you with information. You were so scared that first day. I wanted to build trust. I am one of your best friends and the five of us, Steve, Nat Bucky, me and you are the closest of friends."

You started to cry. "You lied. I don't believe you." Why didn't he tell me?

"We just wanted to help you recover, YN." Sam tried to take your hands put you pulled away.

"Get out."

"YN, please..."

"No Sam, get out!" You screamed. Steve and Bucky heard you and rushed into your room. You looked at them, the tears still falling. You locked eyes with Steve. He looked like he wanted to comfort you but you just wanted to be alone. "Get. Out!"

Sam backed away out of the room, sadness filling his face. Bucky followed but Steve hesitated. He didn't know why you were upset but it killed him to see you so distraught. "YN..."

"I can't talk about this right now. Just please, give me some time." Steve resigned in defeat and walked out, closing the door behind him. You laid down and wailed. You didn't know what to trust. You couldn't trust your mind and the one person who you though you could trust was lying the whole time.

Steve, Bucky, and Sam went back to the living room, the rest of the team waiting for them to return. "Sam, what happened?" Steve asked.

"I dunno. When she didn't come back from getting her drink of water, I went to look for her and I found her in her room looking at your bear. She asked me about it."

"Wait, she got up to get water? I didn't see her in the kitchen... oh," Bucky said.

The same thought hit Steve. "You think she overheard me?"

"I think so," Bucky said. He ran a hand through his hair. "Why was she screaming?"

Sam sighed. "She thinks I am a liar for not telling her the complete truth."

It took a day before you came out of your room. Steve left food by your door asking FRIDAY to tell you that there was a snack by the door. You always waited a few minutes before asking FRIDAY is anyone was in the hallway before taking the food. It was curious. You loved the food brought to you, unsure as to why.

Finally, Tony approached your door the next day. "YN, its Tony. Can I talk to you?"

You got up and opened your door slightly. "Are you alone?"

"Yes, sweetie. Can I come in?"

You let him in and sat on the middle of your bed as Tony leaned on the dresser. "You know, the day I met you, you kicked my ass." He smirked at you. "You had to have been the toughest agent in your class. Steve and I were so impressed. When we brought you in for a tryout, Natasha and Clint begged us to let you on the team."

"Why are you telling me this Tony?"

"So you know how much you mean to us. I still remember the day Rogers went to ask you out. He was so nervous. But you didn't make him feel bad or embarrassed. You were so patient with him. He looked like he won the lottery when you accepted."

You felt a tear forming in your eye. "Why does it hurt that everyone lied?"

"Because you don't know what to trust right now. It's my fault for losing sight of you that day. I promised Steve I would take care of you, and we failed. We just wanted to make it right. You were so scared those first few days."

"Sam should have told me. Instead of lying."

"Probably, but knowing what you know now, do you think you would have been able to handle knowing you were engaged to someone you remembered nothing about?"

You stopped and thought for a moment. "No, I don't think I could."

Tony finally sat down next to you. "What do you want to know?"

"Is he a good man?"

"The best."

"How long?"

"Three years. Two together. One engaged. Your wedding is in about three months."

"He's still planning it?" This shocked you.

"Yep. Something to hold on to when he was scared." Tony remembered the encouragement the team psychologist had given to help him hold on to hope. Hope that you would be better soon.

"The bear?"

"A gift from him after your first fight."

You hesitated on the next question, but you wanted to know. "Am I in love?"

Tony smiled. "I think you fell in love with him after the second date."

"Is he here?"

"He's in the gym. Want me to take you to him?"

You had to see him. "Yes please."

Tony got up and took your hand. He led you down to the gym where Steve was punching the heavy bag, his back towards the door. "Hey Cap, you have a visitor."

Steve turned around and his face turned to surprise. "Hi YN."

"Hi. Can we talk?"

"Sure." He sat down and started to unwrap his hands.

Tony left the room and you sat next to him. "We're engaged," you said simply.

"Yes, we were. I – I don't know where we are right now."

You chewed your lip. "I want to trust you and get to know you again. I just don't know how to do that."

Steve thought for a moment. "How about I re-create our first date?"

"You remember?"

"Of course. I remember the dress and where I took you; what we talked about and how it ended. I could do that for you."

"Really?"

"Really. Tonight?"

"Ok. Sure. Yes, ok. First date redux."

"Perfect." He looked at his phone. "I'll come by your room in three hours, ok?"

"Ok." You got up and started to walk out. You turned back around. "I'm excited," you said with a smile.

"So am I." Steve flashed you a real smile for the first time. It gave you butterflies.

You ran into Nat on your way to your room. "Nat, do you remember what I wore on my first date with Steve?"

"Of course. We went shopping for it. Why?"

"Steve, he, uhh, wants to re-create our first date. I want to try and trust him." You blushed, remembering the smile he gave you.

Nat smiled. She took your hand. "How much time do we have?"

"Three hours."

"Plenty. C'mon." She pulled you along to your room before stopping Bucky. "Hey Buck, can you go into Steve's room and grab that dress from the closet?"

"A dress. Nat c'mon..." he looked at your face. "Her dress?"

"Yeah."

"I'll be in her room in two minutes." He ran off towards Steve's room. Nat pushed you into yours and made you get into the shower. As you came out in your robe, she sat you down and started to do your hair and makeup. After what felt like forever, she stepped out to allow you to change. The dress on your bed was beautiful. A simple skater dress in navy blue with lace sleeves to your elbows and matching flats. Nat even laid out a necklace and earrings and your ring. You looked in the mirror at your side sweep hair and easy makeup. Nothing dramatic which you liked.

Nat and Bucky came back in, you twirl for them and they immediately smile. "You look beautiful YN," Bucky says. "You're gonna knock his socks off."

You blush. "Thanks Bucky." There is a knock the door and you suddenly get nervous. Bucky kisses your cheek. "You guys are meant to be," he whispers before pulling the door open for Steve. "Hey punk."

"Bucky? What are you doing here?"

"Helping your girl get confident. She's a little nervous." He stepped aside and Steve inhaled, taking in the image of you. "Wow," he breathed out.

"Hi Steve."

"Hi doll. You ready?"

"Umm... sure." Nat pressed a clutch in your hand. "Lip gloss and tissue, just in case," she whispers.

"Thanks Nat." Steve offers you his elbow and you take it with a glance at Bucky and Nat. They smiled and watched you walk out. He led you through the living room to the door, surprise the team that had been gathered there. Sam watched and offered you a smile. You smiled back, hoping that when you get back you can apologize to Sam.

Steve drove you to a little town near the compound and to a cute little restaurant. He took you to a table in the back. "I don't know if you want me to order for you or if you want to pick something different."

You thought back to the food left for you the last day. You loved everything brought to you and you assumed Steve had done that. "You order. You seem to know what I like."

Steve ordered for you and himself along with a bottle of wine. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Tell me everything."

He described the first time he saw you, similar to the same story Tony told you. Except he described his feelings. How he felt like he was in a dream watching you move. How sassy you were. How expressive your eyes were when he asked if you would come for a trial with the Avengers. You both ate and laughed. You were finally comfortable with him.

After dinner, you went for a walk around the little town. He stopped in front of a closed business. "This is a concert venue. Small but fun. We saw a band play here that night. I couldn't find another one but I thought I would at least bring you here."

"Oh, did I like the band?"

"Yes, it is or was, one of your favorites. I can play you one of their songs." You nodded and he pulled out his phone. The music was upbeat and fun. The song was about not wanting to see the love end. How fitting for the moment.

"This explains the flats," you say. Steve laughed. "It was a lot of dancing and bouncing. C'mon," he took your hand and you walked with him to a roof top bar. It overlooked the town, the lights twinkling.

"Technically this part was part of the second date but since we are missing the band, I figured this was a good substitute." He went to the bar and brought you a drink while he had a beer. You looked curiously at the drink. "It's your favorite," he explained. You took a sip and smiled. It was delicious.

You kept talking. "Tell me about how you proposed."

Steve smiled. "I did it while we were in bed. You had had an argument with Bucky, who was being extra annoying that night. You kept huffing as you got dressed for bed, muttering about how you were going to kill him in the morning." Steve chuckled. "I knew then, I never wanted to experience another night without you. I had the ring for about a month by then. I wasn't sure how I would do it. But in that moment, with you, your hair in pigtails and your cute angry face, in pink pajamas, I knew. You climbed into bed and just cuddled into me. I stroked your hair to calm you as you laid on my chest. It just came out. Marry me."

You felt a tear forming, wishing you could remember the day. "How did I take it?"

"You were stunned, for sure. You sat up to look at me and when you turned, I had the ring out for you. You didn't say a word. You just launched yourself at me, kissing me. I didn't need you to say yes. You said it just like that." Steve could see the heartache of not being able to remember on your face. He took the glass from your hand. "C'mon, one more stop."

He drove you back to the compound but not to the building but to the lake. There was a little dock there that you walked out on. You looked at the moon reflecting on the water. Steve wrapped his arms around you from behind, resting his chin on your head. "This is where we had our first kiss."

You turned in his arms, wrapping your own around his neck. He caressed your cheek, the butterflies forming again in your belly. "May I kiss you YN?" You nodded and closed your eyes. He leaned down and pressed his lips gently on yours. It warm and soft, like a blanket wrapping around you in comfort. It was home, your favorite place to be, in Steve's arms. You remembered this feeling, the love for him, for your relationship. All the hopes and dreams that you shared.

When he pulled back, you smiled. "Your kisses were always my favorite, Grant."

Steve froze. "What did you call me?"

You frowned. "Grant. Am I not supposed to?"

Steve smiled. "What's your favorite color?"

"It's blue, Steve, why are you asking..." You stopped. "Oh my god. I remember." You looked around. "I remember it all."

Steve pulled you up and swung you around, both of your laughs filling the air. He set you back down and you pulled him in for a searing kiss. You breathlessly pulled away. "I'm so sorry Stevie. I'm sorry I forgot you."

"Hey its ok. I just hoped that going back to the start would help and it did. Nobody said it would be easy. I missed you so much. I love you."

"I love you too. We're getting married here on the dock, right?"

"That's how I planned it." He kissed you again. "C'mon doll. I'm taking my girl back to my bed. You, me and that stupid bear."

"Our bear."

"Always."

#andy's hea #andy's shenanigans #steve rogers #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fluff #chris evans fic #chris evans #steve rogers story #avengers au #smad steve rogers #captain america #captain america x reader #no smut sorry #teddy bear #Sam trying to be a good bro

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sunnysidevans · 2 years

Text

Sunshine & Cowboy Hats (2) - S.Rogers

Synopsis: After your divorce, you are pushed to the country side of upstate new york for the summer. A summer of rebuilding and love.

Pairing: Cowboy!Steve Rogers x Singlemom!reader. Warnings: FLUFF NATION. some angst mostly towards the end. Sweet cowboy steve.

Previous Part. + Main Masterlist

a/n: I'm so sorry for the long wait on this. I hit such a writers block and doubted myself alot with this. I did end up falling in love with the my writing again. So please enjoy. One more part to follow! :)

The summer days began to run together. Vivian wanted to be with Steve every single hour of the day and the horses. Soon she was learning just as you did as a kid, wanting to compete in horse shows. “You know” looking over at the voice, smiling at Natasha. “What’s that?” you ask, looking back out to watch as Vivian sat high on Bucky’s clydesdale. “I think you should let Vivian hang out with us for a while and go on that date with Steve” you can’t help but laugh as you face her again. “Is he asking me?” with a raised brow your eyes meet the cowboy in question as he makes his way into the barn, his own horse in tow.

Captain, a beautiful spotted mare. “Talkin about me?” he smirks, walking past you. Your eyes can’t help to watch as he passes by. “Yeah, I want to know when you’re taking her on this date you’ve been talking about” his laugh can be heard from the stalls away. “When I ask Romanoff” she scoffs, shaking her head as she sends you a wink, making her way out to the ring with Bucky and Vivian.

Looking between the stall and your daughter, you knew she would be okay for a few minutes. Strolling over to Steve, biting your lip. “You want to take me on a date huh?” he turns at the sound of your voice, pushing his hat up on his head and out of his eyes. You can’t help the flutter at the sight of the blue eyes. Steve had been the comfort you needed in the last few weeks. “Uh, I- '' the blush on his cheeks noticeable, scratching the back of his neck nervously as he chuckled. “I do” he nods, making his way out of the stall, closing and locking it behind him, standing infront of you. Smiling up at him you nod, biting your lip. “When?” tilting your head as he chuckles, his blushed cheeks getting even redder.

“How about tomorrow night?” you bite your lip, nodding. Standing on your tippy toes, kissing his already warm cheeks, sending a wink over your shoulder. “Pick me up at 5” he nods eagerly, with a soft chuckle. “Will do Ma’am” you stop, turning on your heels. “No ma’am” nodding again as he sends you a smile. “Okay gorgeous” you blush then, nodding.

Shutting the car door, you turn to face the couple behind you. Both holding a smirk as they look over your face. “What?” looking between the two of them as Natasha makes her way to you. “I will watch Vivian tomorrow” nodding, biting your lip as you narrow your eyes at bucky. “Why is he smirking at me?” you whisper as she laughs. “Steve finally got the balls to ask you” you blush, pushing a hair behind your ear as you nod. “I’ll take good care of her, I always do” he adds, as you smirk. “As she was scared of you a few weeks ago” he groans, hands on his hips.

“Not fair” sending another smirk to the both of them, you grin. “I’ll see you both tomorrow” you smile, climbing into the car. Vivian rolls the window down as soon as the car starts, waving to the couple. “Bye Uncle Bucky and auntie tasha!” you hear Natasha coo as you drive away, a small smile on your face. “Did you have a good time today?” looking in the rearview at your daughter as she nods. “I like uncle bucky” you chuckle, smiling as you continue down the dirt road. The silence of the ride was soothing.

The wind was flowing through the windows as the sun was beginning to set. You smile as you notice Vivan has fallen asleep, you know the day was a good day, happy she had bucky and natasha who seemed to make her just as happy as she made them. You had a feeling they were gonna mean alot to you by the end of the summer.

Pushing the car door gently with your hip, carrying Vivan up the steps and into the house. Shutting both doors quietly, making it up the creaky stairs slowly to the bedroom to lay her in bed. Cursing softly to yourself as your ringtone began to play softly in the back pocket of your shorts. Pulling the covers back, pulling off her sandals you tuck her in, kissing her forehead.

Shutting the bedroom door as quietly as you opened it, pulling the phone from your pocket you roll your eyes. With reluctance, the red button looked more and more appealing. You accept the call. “What do you want?” you seeth, making your way down to the bedroom at the end of the hall. “Where are you and where is my daughter?” His voice sent chills down your spine. “I am not telling you that” you chuckle. “I hope you know I have my ways” rolling your eyes, hand on you hip as you look around the room. “I don’t care what you do, MY daughter and I are safe and that is all I can care about” he scoffs on the other line. “I will find the both of you, I want my family back” you roll your eyes again, surprised they hadn’t rolled into the back of your head at this point. “I don’t care” hanging up the phone you toss it on the bed, pushing your hair back. Falling face first into the covers, you can’t help but scream into the pillow. You knew he was able to find you, you just hoped he wouldn’t.

The morning sun shined in faster than you expected. The small padding of feet awake at an hour you had not expected. Holding the mug to your chest, sipping the cup slowly as you can see Vivian from your peripheral. “Good morning” you look over with a raised brow. “You are awake early” she shrugs, making her way over to the counter beside you. “Can I ask you something?” looking down to meet her eyes staring up at you, the feeling in your chest erupting like butterflies. She never failed to make you happy.

Picking her up to sit beside you on the counter,nodding and sipping the coffee from the mug. “Do you like Steve?” she mumbles, legs swinging beneath her. Licking your lips as you set the mug down, nodding slowly. “I do Viv, I think he is a good man” she nods, meeting your eyes. “I like him too mommy” you smile, nodding. “I like him alot cuz, you smile when you see him” you feel that clench in your chest again, wrapping her in your arms. “Get over here” you give her a playful squeeze as she starts giggling. “I like uncle bucky too” she mumbles against your chest. Laughing at that, you give her another squeeze, “I’m so glad honey”.

Setting the two bowls of cereal in the sink, you can’t help the smile that makes its way to your face. You were extremely thankful your daughter felt comfortable with Steve as well as his friends, friends who have become yours. The buzz of your phone pulled you from your thoughts, smiling down at it.

Steve: Can’t wait for tonight. Is 5 okay?

You smile, the butterflies in your stomach making themselves known, even after a simple text. Biting your lip you quickly typed a reply.

You: Five is perfect. Can’t wait!

Steve sat with bated breath as he watched the three bubbles on the screen. He bit his lip as he waited for a reply. He felt crazy for sitting to watch as you read and replied to his text but he was even more nervous you changed your mind.

He knew he was probably nothing compared to what you’ve had in the past, maybe not even your type for all he knew. He liked you, he liked vivian. He was hoping he didn’t overlook the whole thing of the shy smile and the blush on your cheeks at the stables.

With a deep breath, he smiled at your text, tucking the phone into his back pocket as he grinned up at the horse infront of him. The horse just huffed infront of him as he placed his hands on his hips. “Stop it will you, you are worse than bucky '' he shakes his head as the horse nods as in almost a laugh.

Within hours Nat was at your door, a smirk on her lips. “Nat?” standing in the doorway with your brows furrowed. “You didn’t think I was gonna let you get ready for this date alone? What kind of friend would I be?” you laugh, ushering her in. “I appreciate this” you smile as she shakes her head. “I don’t have many gal pals as they call them” she shrugs, smirking. You can’t help your own smirk, “am I a gal pal?” she laughs with a nod. “Let's get you ready! Steve is a very punctual man” you laugh following her to the bathroom. Sitting down on the bed, she makes her way to your closet, biting her lip.

“What are we thinking?” you shrug. “I was gonna wear that” you point to the green sundress she had her hand on, pulling it out, she holds it up. Looking over her face you shake your head, “Is that gonna be no?”. She shakes her head, smiling. “I actually think it’s perfect” biting your lip, nodding. “Okay you made me worried” she chuckles, shaking her head as she lays it on the bed beside you. “He’ll love it,” you smile, blushing. With your ex, you never had the feelings Steve gave you. The butterflies in the lower part of your stomach. He also did nothing to take you on a date, let alone something thought out and meaningful. “Okay” you are pulled from your thoughts at Natasha’s voice. “Get in the shower and we will get you all pretty for Steve!” you shake your head with a laugh, shutting the bathroom door behind you.

Looking in the mirror at the redhead and brunette behind you, studying you. “Okay, spill it” the pair laughs, Vivan speaking up first. “I think you look so pretty” you smile, turning around in the small vanity stool to face your now gal pal and daughter. “You do baby?” she nods eagerly, holding tightly to the redheads shoulders. They both nod as you look at the clock. “4:58, lets see-'' just as you spoke, a knock made its way through the house. “Steve!” Vivan squealed, running down the stairs.

You laugh, sliding your shoes on as you quickly followed behind her. The door pulled open to reveal not one but two cowboys. “Hi Vivan” Steve smiles, crouching down to meet her height as Bucky makes his way in the house to meet Natasha. You stand at the end of the steps, waiting as you watch the two. “Hi Steve!” she grins, moving closer to the blonde as she notices the flowers in his arms, “Are those for mommy?” she whispers. He nods, smiling as he picks one out of the bouquet, handing one to the girl in front of him. Steve notes he will not forget the look of excitement on her face at the one small wildflower in her fingers. “Thank you” she whispers, arms wrapping around his neck as she hugs him tight. He thinks it may be one of the most comforting hugs he has received in years. “Mommy looks pretty” he is pulled from his thoughts at the girl, smiling. “Yeah? I can’t wait to see” you make your presence known then, making your way to the two of them. “Vivian” she looks up at you as Steve’s eyes fall to you. His breath was pulled from his chest, you looked straight out of one of his wildest dreams. “(y/n), I- Wow” he spits, stumbling over his words as the five year old at his side smirks, “told you”. She runs over to meet her uncle, who failed to make his presence known until now. “These are for you” he holds the bouquet of wildflowers out to you. “Thank you, they are so beautiful” you smile, sniffing them as you hold them out to Natasha. “Thank you” you mouth as she nods,shooing the both of you out the door.

Steve held the truck door open for you, a smile on his face as you held his hand and climbed into the passenger side. Your eyes followed him, admiring the simple jeans boots and button down he wore, the navy button down almost perfect on him.

The black hat adorning his head as he sends a nod to the couple on the porch, a wave to your daughter. That made not only you but your heart smile. Climbing in the driver's side, he can feel his heart hammering against his chest. He hadn’t been on a date in years. “So, what is the plan?” he grins, looking over at you as he makes his way to the dirt road. “You’ll see,” he smiles. Sitting back in the passenger seat, you can’t help but watch as the trees pass by. “Can I know now?” you ask, he chuckles from beside you as you look over to meet his eye. “No” he smirks as you huff, falling back against the seat.

Soon your eyes fall on the sign,

“STARK RANCH” you can’t help the smirk on your lips. “You brought me here?” you ask as he chuckles with a nod. “I know you used to ride, I wanna see what you got” you blush, taking his hand as he stands at the passenger side door, looking at you as if you held the world. You can’t help the blush on your cheeks as he follows beside you, hand on the small of your back.

“I also thought, a nice little picnic would be nice” he motions to the basket in front of him, you smile. “Did you make it yourself?” he hums, watching as you scratch under the horse's chin, who huffs in delight. “Yes I did,” you smile, looking at him over your shoulder. “So, can I ride Bucky's horse?” you make your way to the stall, the horse's head perking up from the bale of hay infront of him. Steve chuckles, a smile on his lips. “I have plenty of others you can, you can ride captain if you’d like” he clears his throat then, smiling. You nod, biting your lip.

“That sounds nice,” he nods, walking towards the closet at the end of the stalls, pulling the saddle out with ease. He held the saddle as if it weighed nothing. Saddling up the mare you can’t help but watch in awe.

“You know” looking over at the sound of your voice, Steve can’t help the smile making it’s way on his lips. “I haven’t done this in years” the soft steps of the horse were almost soothing. “Why’s that?” he asks beside you, watching as you shrug, pushing the piece of hair behind your ear. “Vivian’s father” you mutter, looking over at him with a shy smile. “He’s not in the picture?” he asks, gently nuding his horse to keep up with you, riding beside you. “He was,” you nod, biting your lip looking over to meet his eye.

“We actually um, got divorced” he nods in understanding, “I did too” you look over at that, shaking your head. “You got divorced?” chuckling softly he nods, slowly coming to a stop. “I did, we thought we were highschool sweethearts” he swings his leg over the horse, stepping down as he makes his way to your side. “We were not,” he chuckles, his hand falling to your knee with a shy smile.

“Hungry?” nodding slowly, your hands fall to his shoulder to stabilize yourself. You note his hands were softer than they looked, the callosuses adding a nice tough but soft feeling. HIs hands on your waist as he helps your feet touch the ground.

The purples and oranges were littered along the sky. The sun was setting slowly. “You know” licking the chocolate off your finger, you meet his eyes. The comfortable silence was wonderful, something you never expected. “I really haven’t dated since my divorce” you smile, nudging him, “Aw steve, am I your first?” he laughs at that, a blush on his cheeks. “I-uh-” you shake your head, “I didn’t think I’d find anyone in the recent times of my divorce, it was only final about five months ago” he nods, smiling.

“Marriage is weird,” he notes, as you can’t help to giggle behind the soda can. “You are not kidding”. Your head falls to his shoulder, looking over the sky as the sun continues to fall behind the mountains. “I really liked this..” you admit in a whisper, he smiles to himself. “I’m glad” he looks down at you, smiling as his head rests ontop of yours. “I’m also really glad Vivian likes you” he chuckles, his arm falling around you to bring you into his side as he sighs softly. “Me too, she’s a pretty great girl, just like her mom” you blush at that, slapping his chest gently. “You flatter me” he smirks, looking back out at the sky, “I know that’s kinda my job”.

Listening to the quiet chirp of the crickets, you stay there, tucked into his side. “You ready?” he asks softly, the sun now fully set. Nodding, he holds his hand out to you to take, slowly helping you up. You stand then, leaning up to kiss his cheek gently. “Thank you,” you whisper smirking at the blush on his cheeks. “You-You’re welcome” he smiles, kissing your forehead just as gently.

The ride back to the ranch was quiet, minimal small talk as you keep stealing glances at one another, grinning. It seemed the smile on your face was etched into your skin, trying to bite back the growing smile. Closing the stable door, you smile at the mare who huffs infront of you. “You were a great companion Captain” he huffs again, turning to the hay in his stall.

“He likes you” Steve says from behind you, a smile on his face. “Well good I like him too” turning to face him with a smile. “Oh do you?” he asks, moving closer to you. You smile, hands falling on his belt, he grins. “I do, I mean, I do kinda.. Like his rider just a bit more”, his smile seemed to double in size. “Well” he grins, his breath fanning your face as you look up to meet his eye. “He likes you too” he whispers, biting your lip, standing on your toes you lean into him, your lips colliding.

Pulling Steve closer to you, his hands fall to your cheeks, pulling your face closer to him to kiss you, kissing you seemed so easy, it felt natural. Pulling away slowly, you bite your lip. “Wow” you whisper, he grins, lips falling to your forehead. The vibration in your pocket pulls you from the thoughts in your head, the idea of kissing him again tempting. “I’m sorry” you whisper, pulling the phone from your pocket, furrowing your brows.

“Nat?” you can hear the cries on the other line, hand falling to grip Steve's arm. “Nat what’s going on?” soon bucky’s words run together, gripping Steve tighter. “I’ll- Okay I’ll be right there” hanging up quickly, you meet Steve’s concerned eye. “Something’s wrong with Vivian, they-they took her to the hospital I-” he shakes his head, “c’mon I will take you” nodding slowly, as if the world stopped.

“Nat” you run in the doors, eyes falling on her. “(y/n)” she sniffles, taking your hands into hers. “What is going on with my daughter?” you ask, looking between her and her own husband who moves to talk to Steve. “She was fine, she was playing outside and then all the sudden she- she just fell, I don’t know what is going on” nodding slowly, you wrap her in your arms, sniffling.

“I am so sorry I swear I-” shaking your head you hug her tighter, “no, you did nothing wrong”. She shakes her head, pulling you two to sit. Taking her hand you give it a squeeze. “She’ll be okay,” you whisper. Soon Bucky was in your sight, smiling sadly at you. The look in his eye was enough for you to swap seats with him, standing to make your way beside Steve. He takes your hand in his, giving it a squeeze as you smile sadly at him. “She’s beating herself up pretty bad” you whisper he nods, ‘she does that, she looks tough on the outside but she’s putty on the inside.

Chuckling softly you look over, noticing her falling asleep on Bucky’s shoulder. “Thank you” he looks over at the sound of your voice, neither of you talking for several minutes. “For?” he asks as you smile sadly. “Tonight” you smile, nodding slowly “bringing me here and staying here” he nods slowly. “I care about you and Vivian, very much” you smile sadly at that, head falling to his shoulder for the second time that night.

After what felt like hours a man catches your eye, making his way out of the double doors, white coat and goatee. “I’m looking for the parents of Vivian.” you make your way to him quickly. “I’m Vivian's mother” he nods slowly, looking at you with a sad smile. “I’m Dr.Stephen Strange” he holds his hand out to you with a smile. Shaking his hand you sniffle, nodding.

“What is going on with my daughter?” his hand falls to your shoulder. “She’s suffered a severe case of heat exhaustion” you sigh, hand on your forehead, nodding. “Okay, so what- what happened?” you ask as he nods. “Her body was so exhausted, it basically gave out on her” you nod slowly looking at him. “I don’t understand though I made sure she had plenty of water and I know she was well taken care of” he nods slowly. “Heat exhaustion is one of those things that, it takes over the body, she will be okay after some fluid-'' he stops, the doors of the emergency department opening.

“(y/n)!” your body runs cold at the sound of your name falling from his lips. Steve can see your body language from across the waiting room, quickly making his way to you. Turning around you meet Steve's chest. “You are okay” he whispers, you bite your lip, swallowing the lump in your throat as you move past him. “(y/n) oh my god! Thank god” soon the arms you found comfort in at a time now felt like a prison around your body.

Steve see’s the way you tense up. “Hello Ransom” you move from his arms, standing straighter. “What is going on?” Steve moves beside you, hand falling to your waist as you sigh.

Eyes on the man in front of you, jacket on his body as if he took the time to find his wardrobe before driving the hour to find you.

“This is Ransom, my ex husband”

----

a/n prt 2: ooooooooo now you all know who the ex husband is. Let me know what you think!!!

see you soon. <333

#likes and reblogs appreciated #steve rogers #steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fic #steve rogers story #steve rogers smut #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers angst #steve rogers au #cowboy!steve #chris evans #christopher robert evans #sunshineandcowboyhats

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gay-jewish-bucky · 1 month

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Happy 10th Anniversary to the Premiere of the MCU's Greatest Love Story

#marvel #mcu #stevebucky #stucky #steve rogers #steven grant rogers #bucky #bucky barnes #james bucky barnes #james buchanan barnes #captain america #captain america: the winter soldier #ca:tws #ca: tws #catws #''the fact is it's a love story''

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steveybucky · 2 months

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Them: oh yeah, the winter soldier is a great movie

Me internally: okay stay calm. It’s been 10 years. You are an adult now. You can have an adult conversation about this without going on a 3 hour rant about why Steve and Bucky are soulmates and how you would die for Bucky Barnes

#stucky #bucky barnes #the winter soldier #steve rogers #based on a true story of a conversation I had yesterday lol

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avengerscompound · 4 months

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Steve and Sarah Rogers

Captain America (2023) #1

#marvel #avengers #marveledit #comicedit #steverogersedit #captainamericaedit #steve rogers #captain america #sarah rogers #captain america (2023)#j michael straczynski #jesus saiz #marvel comics #616 #avengerscompoundedit #kinda strange to include this in a story about steve when his dad was the way he was

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ivuhe · 1 month

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Me when a character looks like they're one push towards the light

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artgroves · 7 days

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Steve Rogers Learns to Fly by @gutterandthestars

#Stucky #Steve Rogers #Bucky Barnes #Sam Wilson #Peggy Carter #This fic is absolutely smashing #as far as AUs go it's just so fun and so engaging #it's WW1 folks!#This art was never posted together here I can't recall now why I didn't do a masterpost back in 2019 when these were made for the Cap Bang #but here they are! Almost all of the art for this story minus one that was lovingly nicknamed:#There was only one barn #Thank you to GutterAndTheStars for this wonderful AU!

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sleepisaturn · 2 years

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the beard needs to go

PAIRING—steve rogers x gf!reader

SUMMARY—You badly want to be the one who shaves Steve's beard off

WARNINGS—pure fluff, allusions to sexy times but no actual smut, the plot is mostly about Steve's beard lol

A/N—random but this was inspired by that scene of Me Before You where Will let's Lou shave his beard, also that movie will never not break me , pure heartbreak! 😭😭

In the bathroom, infront of the mirror as the morning sun rose, the couple found themselves in a very difficult situation, well you found it difficult.

" do we have to? "

" we have to ... "

" but I love your beard! and it's great in the bedroom! " You whined while cupping his face, his beard slightly tickling the palm of your hands. You sat on the counter, back against the mirror as Steve's hands rested on your hips.

" so you just love it because it makes the sex good? " Steve asked with a laugh, teasingly while tilting his head on the side.

" of course not, I love it because it makes you and the sex hotter " You reply with enthusiasm and a teasing grin in return as Steve chuckles back.

" glad to know, but unfortunately it has to go, so say goodbye because I'm shaving it tonight baby " He said with fake sadness in his tone as he sighs while cupping your face and giving your soft lips a long kiss.

" nooo! at least let me shave it "

" absolutely not "

" oh come on! please babe?? " you beg lightly while doing puppy dog eyes paired with your cute lips pouting hoping to persuade the super soldier.

" yeah that's not working " He exits the bathroom leaving you pouting as you sit on the counter top.

" bring me coffee! " You shout as you hear the bedroom door close. Steve's always the one who makes breakfast and your favorite coffee will always be the one made by him.

The rest of the day goes on with you trying your best to persuade Steve to let you shave his beard. Even as the two of you drank the morning coffee you still annoyed him with the question of let me shave off your beard?

The couple chose to go to a mall, having a mall date for the rest of the afternoon. You bought some clothes for both Steve and yourself even if he insisted he didn't need any more clothes. You even bought a couple pairs of lingerie that you knew he would enjoy, secretly that is for the surprise effect. Steve bought a couple of art supplies, hoping to start painting more for the rest of his technically retirement days.

You and Steve chose to eat at a pizza shop that wasn't too busy, a big plate of cheesy pizza paired with two glasses of cold cola.

" my beard so long I have to pick food out of it "

" I could pick the food out of it for you! "

" you're joking "

" I'm totally joking " You say with a laugh as you continue taking a bite out of your cheesy pizza slice.

Steve was washing the dishes after dinner, the plain white tee he wore getting splashed a bit by the water. He turned off the faucet as he had done half of the dirty dishes.

" Oh Steve~ " You say in a sing-song tune as you untie your robe in which you had nothing underneath catching the blonde Captain who was washing the dishes off-guard, the dirty dishes now abandoned.

He quickly captures your lips with a deep moan as you giggle, almost stumbling back with the impact of his large body. His large hands immediately held on tightly to your waist, lifting you up with no effort as he leads the two of you to the bedroom.

As you calm your breath after the great countless orgams, you rest your head on his bare chest with a smile while your hands wrap around his torso and his arms wrap automatically around your shoulders. The two of you smile with bliss as the two of you even out your breathings, still a bit red and sweaty from the tiring activity.

" You did that to convince me to let you shave my beard didn't you? " Steve says after a couple minutes with a little laugh at the end. He gripped your form tighter as his head rested on top of yours.

" would you let me shave it now? " Of course it wasn't about that but your eyes are still filled with hope as you ask him about shaving his beard. You were sad he wants it gone but you should be atleast the one to get rid of it.

" fine, I'll let you "

" I love you "

" I love you too " He replies kissing you back as you smile with his lips attached to yours.

The two were back to the position they were the previous morning after getting dressed, not the one they did on the bed much to Steve's dismay but he did find it cute how much you wanted to be the one to shave his beard and so he caved. It gave him a big domestic feeling as he looked down on your hands that were applying shaving cream.

" you're really going to do it? " Steve asked but saying it as more of a fact as you were done applying the shaving cream on half his face.

" I—I'm really gonna do this " you say nervously as you get rid of the brush you used to apply the cream for his beard. You giggle with nervousness as you slowly inch the razor closer to his face.

" just don't shave my eyebrows off, baby "

" trust the professional Rogers "

" I'm serious, don't " he said sternly but with an obvious hint of playfulness as he points a finger at you in which you point elsewhere going back to focusing on the task at hand.

He closed his eyes, his brows furrowed slightly but relaxing a second later. He trusts you with his life, completely but maybe not much on shaving his beard.

You smile in victory as you successfully shaved a part of his beard in one stroke, a bit of a stubble left behind as his beard was quite thick. Steve opened his eyes a couple times, seeing you so concentrated that the tip of your tongue stuck out made him smile in which you grumble that his smile made you distracted.

Many trips of the razor to the bowl of water, you completely shaved off the two years worth of beard that Steve grew out. You grin widely with your success, putting down the razor on the counter as you made Steve open his eyes.

" please tell me you didn't shave my eyebrows off " He asked teasingly, looking at you before looking at himself in the mirror. Traces of shaving cream left that he carefully wiped away using a clean cloth.

" nice job, doll " He said with a big smile that could reach his ocean blue eyes and continued with a quick peck to your lips. You smile after the quick kiss as you rest your head on his shoulder. Your hands are sneaking on both his sides, clasping your hands together to give him one big hug.

" I told you baby, a professional "

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marvelouslycaptivating · 2 years

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A Swarm of Butterflies

Masterlist

Part Seven: Morning Light

Pairing: Steve Rogers X Reader

Summary: Steve leaves for a mission and you confess some big feelings.

Authors Note: Wow, it’s nice to be back. I’m sorry I was gone for so long. My life has been a chaotic mess the last year. I welcomed my 3rd child and opened a small business (that is not doing great and is taking most of my time.). I’m going through a bit of a self discovery journey, which sounds strange since I’m in my late 20’s. But I’ve realized I love writing and I wanna make it my career so I can support my family. If you have any suggestions let me know in the comments!

Thank you to everyone for the continued support. I hope you love it!! Reblog and share!! I’m also no logger doing tag lists as it takes so long…if you’d like updates on my work follow me and set it up to be notified any time I post!! Love you all. Xxx

**Three months later**

“Y/N” Steve whispered as he gave your shoulder a gentle shake. “Baby, I’ve gotta go.”

He shook you a few more times, a soft chuckle falling from his lips when you hardly stirred.

“Sweetheart, wake up.” He pleaded. His warm hands rubbing your bicep.

Slowly you forced your heavy eyelids open. Steve sat beside you on your bed. He was dressed in jeans and a navy t-shirt. His hair was damp and a smile tugged at the corner of his lips.

“There’s my girl.” He cooed, moving his slender fingers to brush the hair away from your eyes.

You smiled sleepily and turned your head slightly to look at the clock on your bedside table. 6:04 AM.

He had always been an early riser, but it was his weekend off. Normally he spent the morning beside you in bed even if he was awake. He’d lay there and hold you in his arms until you decided to wake up.

“Steve, what are you doing up?” you asked, reaching out to take his hand in your own much smaller one.

He blew out a sigh and cast his eyes down to the duvet.

“I got a phone call an hour ago. It was Fury. I’ve gotta go.” He explained, giving your hand a gentle squeeze.

You groaned and squeezed your eyes closed. The two of you had planned to stay at inside and watch movies all weekend. He’d been extremely busy the last month and you hadn’t had much time to spend together.

“I know, doll.” He whispered, guilt lacing his tone. You knew he felt horribly.

You opened your eyes and sat up in bed. You scooted closer to him, reaching both hands up to run through his golden hair.

His gaze finally met your own. His blue eyes looked uncharacteristically dull. His brows were furrowed and little wrinkles formed on his forehead. He was afraid you’d be disappointed, and Steve hated disappointing people.

“It’s okay.” You reassured, “I’m sure the world needs you a little bit more than I do. I have to learn to share.” You chuckled.

He swallowed roughly and brought his hands up to stroke your arms.

“I know you were looking forward to this weekend.” He smiled sadly. “I was too. I’m sorry.” He apologized.

“Hey, it’s okay. We can have a movie night when you get back. I’ll even bake those brownies you love so much.” You promised, letting your hands fall from his hair and into your lap.

“I wish I didn’t have to go, but it’s a quick mission.” He assured, still feeling the need to explain himself.

You chuckled flinging the duvet off of your body and climbing out of bed to stand in front of the soldier.

“Stevie, it’s okay. Just make sure you come home to me.” You spoke, stepping between his legs and lacing your arms around his neck. Your warm breath fanned over his face.

He looked up at you through thick lashes. His hands moving to cup the backs of your thighs, pulling you closer.

“I’ll always come home to you, baby.” He promised, his voice soft.

Steve went on missions all the time. He would leave and be gone for a few days and then he’d come back. You were used to it. You knew it was his job and it had never bothered you before, but this time was different.

This time you had something you wanted to tell him. Something you’d been dying to say for months, but could never seem to find the courage to.

Suddenly standing in front of him in your bedroom as the sun began to peak over the horizon it seemed like the perfect time to confess.

“Steve..” you whispered, voice trembling slightly.

His brows furrowed as he looked at you with concern. He could see tears gathering in your eyes. He could feel your hands trembling behind his neck.

“What’s wrong, y/n/n?” He asked. He traced circles on your skin with his thumbs. He knew the small gesture would bring you some kind of comfort.

You cleared your throat which felt impossibly dry.

“Steve..there’s something I’ve been wanting to say for awhile now.” Your voice was all but a whisper.

He nodded as he gazed adoringly into your eyes. He was listening intently, his head tilted slightly to the side.

“I love you.” You swallowed thickly. “I am hopelessly, desperately, irrevocably in love with you Steven Grant Rogers and I’ve known that for a while now. Hell, I think I knew the moment we met.” You confessed with an emotional chuckle.

Steve stared at you with wide, tear filled eyes. His calloused fingertips clutched your thighs.

“Y/N…” he whispered, his own voice held the slightest tremble now.

You shook your head with a watery smile. You wanted to finish your thought before your sudden surge of courage dissipated into thin air.

“I’m not done.” You giggled, a few tears sliding down your rosy cheeks.

“You are the most remarkable human being I have ever met. You are all that is good in the world. You are kind, brave, and loyal. You are everything I strive to be. You are truly selfless, the pure definition of a good man. You are everything I have ever wished for.” You cooed, stroking your thumbs over the stubble on his cheeks.

You felt breathless. You desperately hoped he understood how much he meant to you. How special you thought he was. He deserved to know that.

Your heart was hammering in your chest and your legs felt like jello as you gazed down at him, awaiting his reaction.

A wide smile spread across his face, and he turned his head to kiss your palm. He stood slowly, his chest brushing your own. He brought his hands up to cup your cheeks.

“Y/F/N Y/L/N…you have no idea how long I’ve been dying to tell you the same thing.” He whispered, his cerulean eyes glimmering in the sunlight that was beginning to trickle through your bedroom curtains.

“You have no idea the depth of my love for you, doll.” He continued, “After Peggy I thought that I’d spend my life alone. I figured that I’d already had my great love, and that I was destined to spend the rest of my days protecting everyone else’s…but then one morning I ran into this girl at the park. The most beautiful creature I have ever in a hundred years laid eyes on, and I knew in that moment that you were my destiny. You are my greatest love. Of course I loved Peggy. She helped shape me into the man I am…the man I was meant to be, for you. The love I have for you is far deeper than anything else I’ve ever felt in my life. It’s terrifying and exhilarating. It takes my breath away, and I never want to live without that feeling.” His voice cracked slightly, his eyes watering.

A large tear fell down his right cheek and trickled down to his jawline. You let out a soft sob, unable to contain your emotions any longer.

“I’m in love with you Y/N, and I never want to spend a single moment without you by my side.” He confessed, leaning over to press a gentle kiss to your forehead.

You wrapped your arms around his torso and looked up at him through hooded eyes. Tears still staining your flushed cheeks.

“Move in with me.” You commanded.

You watched his eyes widen slightly before a grin broke out over his plush, pink lips.

“As soon as I get home.” He chuckled without even a moments hesitation.

You reached up on your tippy toes and connected your chapped lips with his. Your lips slotted together perfectly. Your fingers reached up to tangle in his hair and his hands gripped your waist tightly.

You both poured every ounce of emotion you felt into that kiss as you stood in the beam of morning sunlight. Your stomach swirled and your heart pounded.

Steve pulled away too soon for your liking. A silly smile decorated his face and his cheeks were rosy. You moved your hands to rest on his chest. You could feel his thundering heartbeat beneath your fingertips.

“I’ve gotta go, doll.” He took a step back his hand reaching for yours.

The last thing you wanted was for him to leave, especially after you’d finally confessed the depth of your feelings.

“Okay.” You nodded, a sad smile on your face as tears clouded your vision once more.

He stepped closer taking your face in his hands. His thumbs stroked over your cheeks catching the tears that had begun to fall.

“Hey, none of that. I’ll be back in a few days. Then we’ll pack up all my stuff and I’ll be here with my girl all the time.” He reminded you.

You smiled and nodded, clutching his shirt in your hands.

He leaned in for another kiss. It was quick but it was his promise to you that he’d return.

“I love you.” He smiled as he stroked your hair.

“I love you too.” You leaned in for one more hug.

He stepped away and grabbed his bag, turning back to look at you over his shoulder as he reached for the door knob.

“Go back to bed, baby. I’ll be back before you know it.” He smiled, turning the knob and walking out into the dark hallway.

You sighed as the door closed and crawled back into bed, pulling the wrinkled duvet up to your chin.

You were sad that Steve had to go, but you were also over the moon that the man that you adored felt the same way. The sweet words he’d showered you with made you feel as though you were soaring, and you’d never been more proud.

So you closed your eyes and drifted back off to sleep with visions of a blue eyed super soldier dancing through your mind.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

#steve rogers imagine #chris evans #chris evans fluff #captain america x reader #captain america fanfiction #captain america #captain america imagine #steve rogers x f!reader #steve rogers story #steve rogers imagines #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers angst #marvel story #avengers imagine #marvel fanfiction #marvel fanfic #marvel imagine #avengers x reader

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simmerandwrite · 27 days

Text

Sink Into Me - 09 - mob!Steve Rogers x plus size!reader

Pairing: mob boss! Steve Rogers x plus size! reader

Summary: You were simply doing a good deed, pulling the handsome stranger out of the way when a car jumped the curb. Little did you know that the life you saved belonged to Steve Rogers, the Army veteran turned art dealer with connections to the Brooklyn crime syndicate.

Steve Rogers, who won’t stop calling you his guardian angel.

Steve Rogers, whose new goal in life just might be repaying his debt to you.

Steve Rogers, who isn’t shy until it comes to his feelings and will stop at nothing to keep you safe.

Chapters: 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 08 09

Wordcount: 11k

Warnings: angst, allusions to dog fighting (but no mention of any kind of abuse), smut

Notes: here we go!! I have so much to say but I'll summarize it with a big thank you!! to everyone who read, reblogged and followed along for the journey. y'all made this so much more fun! can't wait to hear your thoughts!! and while this is the end of Sink Into Me, this universe may stick around for a while. a few more notes on this at the end ;) thank you thank you thank you! enjoy!!

“Hi,” you said quietly, meeting his eyes in the low light streaming in from his lamp.

“Are you okay?” Steve asked, scanning you for any signs of distress.

You shrugged, taking in a deep breath. Then Steve took a step back, waving his arm to invite you in. You released your lungs slowly, nodding and following him inside. Wordlessly, he climbed into the bed and offered the open blanket to you, arms wide.

You just nodded again, crawling under the comforter and finding a spot - your spot - underneath his arms.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, you pulled away from him. A strange empty laugh escaped you.

“I can’t believe… an hour ago… I was being held at gunpoint. That’s crazy. Isn’t that crazy?” The whole thing suddenly hit you like a ton of bricks, all of it. The ambush on your way home, the brute force, the cold rain, the gun.

“Sweetheart..” Steve sat up the same way you did.

You shook your head and shuffled to the side of the bed and planted your feet on the floor, sitting there as you caught your breath.

“Hey, hey. Just breathe, okay?” He scrambled off the bed, coming around the kneel in front of you. With one hand, he reached out and placed it on your knee. You dropped yours onto his and squeezed it. “I’m.. baby, I’m so sorry.”

You closed your eyes, taking in a few deep breaths.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered your name, brushing his thumb against your knee. “I’m sorry for everything. Ever since that day.. On the street, outside the restaurant, just by saving me - you had a target on your back and it’s my fault. I hurt you and put you in danger and it’s my fault.”

The silence washed over you both again.

Steve continued, quieter. “Is there anything I can do or say right now to help you? I know you’re probably scared and I can’t fix that but… your well being, that’s all that matters to me.”

You exhaled and opened your eyes. “I.. I’m hungry.”

Steve blinked. “Uh, okay. Sure. I can order a pizza or we could..” His lips twitched into a brief smile. “How about grilled cheese?”

—

Truthfully, Steve wasn’t always stocked up on the basics but this time he was grateful for what few groceries remained in his fridge. There was a strange silence as you headed to the kitchen. Steve got to work grabbing what he needed for grilled cheese making while you sat at his small dining room table.

Hercules followed you closely, finding a new place to sleep at your feet.

You fiddled with the tag of the tea bag in your cup of chamomile, quiet. The frying pan sizzled.

“Steve?”

Your voice drew his attention away from his task at hand. He turned. “Yeah?”

“Why didn’t you tell me about the fire? At, uh, your mom’s clinic?”

He stilled then turned back towards the stovetop. He flicked off the element and plated the sandwiches, joining you at the table. He slid a plate across to you.

“I would have, eventually. I didn’t want to scare you,” he finally replied, biting on his lip before he continued. “There was a street gang making a big mess in Brooklyn years ago now. In this type of work, uh, gangs usually coexist. Not always peacefully, of course.”

You took a bite of your sandwich and watched Steve carefully.

“This particular group - called themselves the Red Skulls, led by this absolute menace Johann Schmidt.”

“Oh,” you tipped your head to the side, nodding. “I think I remember hearing about him in the news a few years ago.”

“Probably. They were fucking messy. Schmidt was a piece of work especially. There are a lot of things I do not tolerate in my city and he crossed a very serious line.” Steve rolled his neck. God, maybe he shouldn’t be telling you this. But what did he have to lose now? Honesty was all he had left. “Long story short - we took down one of the Red Skulls trafficking operations. They were kidnapping sex workers.” He took in a sharp breath, eyes closing at the resurfacing memories. “Ma looked after everyone we helped escape and Schmidt retaliated by setting fire to the clinic...”

And Steve had been at some fucking club that night. Volleying between shots of liquor and lines of coke, he nearly missed the most important phone call of his goddamn life.

Steve lost himself in his downward spiral of thoughts as memories of his mother’s recovery flashed through his mind. When he came back to reality, you were looking at him. There was a strange sadness in your eyes.

“That wasn’t your fault, Steve,” you said quietly, tearing off another piece of your sandwich.

He laughed, shaking his head. “The people I care about, the ones I love - you, included now - there is a target on their back, on your back. Forever. I pushed you away and for what? They still..” He dragged both of his hands down his face, head shaking again. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. For.. everything.”

You blinked again, then looked down at your plate. “When you called me and broke up with – that day. What you said to me, it was so careless and..”

“Mean?” Steve finished for you. That’s what you had said. He was mean. No, he had been worse than mean. It was cruel and he had done it on purpose.

“Yeah. Why couldn’t you just be honest? If you care about me so much, how could you say those things?”

He wasn’t sure if he should answer, if he could. But you were looking at him and waiting.

“I don’t know,” he replied quietly, leaning back in his chair and gazing out towards the window. “Because I wasn’t thinking straight. I was emotionally compromised. Natasha barely talked to me for weeks after that night. That was another constant reminder that I really fucked up..”

You sighed. After a few beats, you finally found some words. “What do we do now?”

He looked back at you. “I know I hurt you. I think about it every single fucking day and I can’t undo it, I wish I could undo it.” He took in a hard breath. “I can’t even ask for you to forgive me because it isn’t fair. Not after tonight. Because after all this, how could you ever?” An empty, somber laugh rumbled through him. “I’m just.. I’m sorry, sweetheart. I wish I could press reset.”

The silence hung between you both again. You finished your sandwich and looked back at Steve.

“I’m tired,” you said softly, stifling a yawn. “Can I.. sleep beside you?”

Steve nodded. “Of course.”

–

You woke up the next morning in Steve’s bed, alone. Somewhere far away, probably in the kitchen, you could hear him on the phone. With a deep sigh, you got up and put yourself back together.

Hercules trotted towards you as you departed from Steve’s room. You followed him back towards the kitchen where Steve had put a modest little breakfast together. He ended his phone call when he saw you, then joined you at the table with a pot of coffee.

Your conversation was minimal. You briefly panicked as you recalled the fake meeting Ward had arranged for you with Hammond, but Steve was quick to tell you he had dealt with it.

Eventually, after your quiet breakfast, you asked to return to your own apartment. Steve insisted on driving you there and walking you to your door. When you got to your building, you noticed an additional security guard posted near the front desk.

You wondered if Steve had something to do with that.

When you got to your door, you opened it and let Hercules in before you turned to Steve.

You didn’t know what to say. You weren’t sure what was supposed to happen now. Truthfully, nothing felt real.

You felt numb.

“Are you gonna be okay here?” Steve asked, tipping his head just slightly to search your face. “If you wanted to stay at a hotel or–”

“No,” you cut him off. “I’ll be fine, I’m sure. I’m just tired. I’m going to take the rest of the day to try and clear my mind.”

“Well, if you need anything at all, call me. Please.”

You hesitated. What were you and Steve now? Friends? Exes? Something more? Something less? You couldn’t figure it out and you were too scared to ask. What did you even want with him?

“Did you unblock my number then?” Your lips twitched into a momentary smile.

Steve didn’t smile back. He was serious and for a second, you watched as he hesitated to reply too. “Of course I did. I never should have..” He closed his eyes. “Call me, anytime. For anything. If something ever feels wrong or someone..” Releasing a long breath, he met your eyes once more. Your name left his lips, quiet, like a whisper. “I can’t figure out what else to say other than that I’m sorry. Again. I just.. I wish I could fix everything and erase what happened last night and.. I’ll be sorry for the rest of my life.”

You squeezed his closest hand. You didn’t know what to say. You raised yourself up slightly onto your toes and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. Then you disappeared into your apartment.

You called your mom that afternoon. And while you didn’t give her any details about what had happened in the last 24 hours of your life, you found it necessary to still call her and tell her how much you loved her. She didn’t ask why you were reaching out or question the way your voice cracked, but you knew she was concerned.

The rest of the day, you slept on and off. Eventually, you ordered in for dinner and forced yourself to sit with the feelings you were wrestling with. What was it? What was going on?

Were you scared? Yes, sure. Even though the incident had been isolated and specific, even though the men responsible were either in custody with law enforcement or being kept directly underneath Steve’s foot, you had reason to feel unsettled.

How could you deal with it though? Enough rational thought brought your heart rate down enough to strategize if anything ever happened again. Pepper spray on keychain, maybe one of those spikey keyrings that doubled as defense weapons.. A self defense class? Maria told you she had taken one before and she found it empowering. Maybe you needed to feel empowered, too.

It was strange though, as you let your mind fester over your feelings, one constant helped keep you steady and walked you back from your edge of anxiety. Steve. When you felt unsafe, Steve had helped you, protected you, saved you.

You didn’t even know what you were to him anymore and yet, he carried on as if you were the most important thing in the world. That helping, protecting, saving you was a responsibility he didn’t take lightly. Steve.. He just.. You just..

Steve. Steve was calling. You shook off your layer of feelings analysis and answered your buzzing phone, sitting up on the couch as you brought it to your ear. It was late.

“Hello?”

“Hey.. thanks for.. I wanted to check in, see how you’re doing. If I’m overstepping, feel free to hang up on me, though.”

You let out a quiet laugh. “You’re not overstepping.” You’re being Steve. “I’m okay, yeah. Calm and mostly relaxed. I’m..”

“I’m glad to hear that.” He paused and you swore you could hear him overthinking what to say next. “Would you tell me the truth though? If you weren’t.. Okay?”

You nodded, even though he couldn’t see you. “I would.”

“I appreciate that, really. I know you don’t owe me anything but I’m worried.”

You smiled to yourself. “I’m okay.” You knew repeating it may not reassure him, but it helped you. “Oh, actually. I was thinking about something.. Uhm, when they..” You breathed in slowly. “When they took Hercules, they mentioned some weird threat about him fighting. Is that.. Does that mean they.. That there is a dog fighting, uhm, thing or..” You couldn’t even bear to finish what you were thinking.

“Bucky is already investigating, sweetheart. If that exists, we’re going to stop it. I promise you.”

–––

The next evening, Steve called again. To check in and make sure you were still okay. It was funny - because you had a feeling that his phone calls weren’t the only thing Steve had implemented when it came to ensuring your wellbeing. A new lock system had been installed at the front of your building and that same security guard was patrolling when you left for work that morning too.

The next night he called to see how you were. Then the next and the next and the next.

One night, after you told Steve that you were okay, again, you felt an urge to keep him on the line. For some reason, your conversation started to feel like they used to when you first met - friendly, but a hint of something else, something more. But did you want that? Did he?

“While I have you, though. I was wondering if I had to ask Clint for permission if I wanted to paint my apartment - do you know? Or is it like free reign?”

Steve laughed on his side of the phone. “I can get Clint to find you a painter tomorrow, if you want.”

“Oh, no.” You dismissed that idea quickly. “I want to do it myself. I think it would be fun.”

“Well then, since it’s my building, consider this your permission to paint whatever you want. And if you need some extra hands, I’d be happy to help.”

–––

A week later, you answered another late call from Steve.

“It’s late, I can let you go. I’m sure Hercules is already asleep beside the bed waiting for you..”

You smiled to yourself briefly, then sighed. “I’ve been in bed for a while, actually.”

“Oh.” You heard Steve pause. “You didn’t have to take my call.”

“I can’t sleep tonight.”

He paused again. His voice was slower this time, softer. “Is something wrong?”

“No, I just..” It was probably just the late day coffee you had or the tight stress you were holding in your body. “..can’t sleep, I guess.”

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Maybe you could.. I don’t know, just talk a bit. Tell me a story? From your childhood or high school or something?” You stifled a yawn. “Anything..”

After another beat, Steve’s voice returned in your ear. “Okay. Let’s see. Technically I’m forbidden to share this story but me and Buck had to take a theater class in high school and..”

–––

Steve called you pretty early one night, just as you were coming home from picking up Hercules.

You dropped onto your couch and quickly pulled on the nearest throw blanket the moment you walked into the apartment. When you noticed Steve on the caller ID, you answered right away.

“Hi,” you said through a yawn, laying flat on the cushions. It sounded like Steve sighed in relief on the other end of the phone. “Steve? Everything okay?”

“Yeah, sorry. Hey sweetheart,” he continued quickly. Damn. When he slipped in the sweetheart pet name, your heart got really confused. “Just nice to hear your voice.”

“Are you okay?” You repeated the question, sitting up from your lounging position.

“I am,” he confirmed. “There’s just something I need to tell you, before you hear about it on the news.”

“Okay..”

“Rumlow - Brock Rumlow.. You remember him?” Before you could answer, Steve laughed. “That’s a stupid question. I’m sure you haven’t forgotten Rumlow.”

You couldn’t help but smile at Steve’s commentary. “No, I haven’t forgotten Brock Rumlow.” Your momentary elation soon disappeared when you considered why Steve might be mentioning Rumlow by name. “What about him?”

“He died today.”

A silence fell between you. “In prison?”

“Yes. Considering how high profile his arrest was, it will likely make the evening news. Maybe it’s already published, I don’t know. I just wanted to warn you before you heard.”

“Okay.” You paused again. “Steve - did you–”

“This had nothing to do with me, surprisingly.” He let out some weird exaggerated laugh again. “I wasn’t his only enemy.” That was Steve choosing what to say and you supposed that was fine. The nitty gritty details really weren’t needed. “Sweetheart, are you okay?”

Even though he couldn’t see you, you shrugged, laying back down. “I don’t know, I guess I’m just.. it’s weird to say relieved but..I shouldn’t feel relief over someone’s death, right? Maybe I don’t know how to react.”

“That’s normal, I’d say.” He paused. “I don’t want you to be scared.”

“I do get scared. I think about that night a lot.” You sighed. “But I’ve lived in New York long enough to know that the weird person on the subway probably doesn’t give a shit about me, so I shouldn’t be worried about them.”

“What weird person on the subway?” Steve asked quickly. You could hear him shuffling, maybe going from sitting to standing. “Where did you see–”

“Steve.” You cut him off, with a quiet laugh. “That was hypothetical. I’ve been alright lately, I promise. And remember, I said I would tell you if I wasn’t.”

You heard him let out a long sigh. “Okay.”

“Thank you for calling me and giving me a heads up though,” you continued. “Maybe I’ll mute my news feeds for a few days.”

–––

You [7:01PM]: what do you think? It has taken a few weeks from start to finish but…

You [7:01PM]: (IMG_9116) S Rogers [7:02PM]: that’s a great colour S Rogers [7:03PM]: so. what was the ratio of paint on wall vs paint on you? You [7:03PM]: wow! Rude. You [7:03PM]: 90/10 You [7:04PM]: (IMG_9121) S Rogers [7:06PM]: very cute S Rogers [7:06PM]: even with paint in your hair ;)

–––

Thanksgiving wasn’t your favourite holiday. The food was fine and sure, it was a great excuse for some time off work.

Into adulthood, you were really appreciative of the friendsgiving tradition instead. Especially because your mother was spending the holiday in Jacksonville with her cousin, leaving you mostly without plans for the big day.

Friendsgiving you took seriously. Claire was hosting this year, the weekend before Thanksgiving since she had to work on the holiday, and you had been tasked with dessert making, which was totally up your alley. Maria had offered assistance, so together you were spending your Friday night making the most out of your oven and counter space.

It was going well, although you had started a lot later than planned. It made for a late night but you were in good company with Maria. Having a night in with one of your closest friends wasn’t something you took for granted. Between flour measurements and preparing fruit, you and Maria spent the entire night talking. It was exactly what you needed.

Just before midnight, you were taking the pecan pie out of the oven and Maria was finishing off the dishes. Just as you turned to join her at the sink, a loud banging started at your door. You gasped, probably too loudly for a sane person, and met Maria’s wide confused stare.

Hercules awoke from his bed in your room and trotted towards the door, cautious.

You walked over behind him, holding your breath as another knock echoed.

“Jesus, Barnes - you’re going to scare her to death..”

Barnes? Was that.. Clint’s voice?

Maria followed behind you, pausing as you looked through the peephole.

“Who is knocking on your door at midnight?” Maria asked quietly.

You sighed. Bucky and Clint, apparently. What on earth?

After unlocking the door, you opened it, stopping the bickering men in the middle of their conversation.

“Hello?” You returned their awkward greetings with a small wave. “Can I help you?”

“What is that smell?” Clint’s eyes widened, looking over your shoulder into the apartment. “Are you baking?”

“Can I help you?” You repeated, turning your attention to Bucky directly. “What are you doing here?”

Bucky let out a breath before dragging a hand down his jaw. “So, here’s the thing, doll. My good friend Steve - you know Steve, right? He’s currently spiraling because you haven’t answered your phone or any of his messages all night..” He stood up a bit straighter, looking between you and Maria. “Given the uh..well, he’s just worried about you. Sent us up to check in.. And, since you are clearly very alive and safe, we should..” He paused. “Do I smell snickerdoodles?”

“Oh my god,” you rolled your eyes, inviting the men inside. Maria grabbed the container of fresh cookies and offered them each one.

“If Steve is concerned, why isn’t he at the door?” Maria wondered out loud.

“Boundaries,” Clint answered with a mouth full of cookies.

Bucky thwacked him on the shoulder. “Manners, Barton.” Bucky waited to bite his own cookie, then nodded. “He’s politely keeping his distance.”

You sighed, then looked over at Maria. You had filled your friend in on most of the details about you and Steve and what your recent reconnection looked like. Minus the whole warehouse rooftop situation. You weren’t sure how to share that. But the confusing new feelings and conversations.. They had proved difficult to process alone.

Not to mention that after you and Steve had broken up, your friends had loyally become very anti-Steve. Which you very much appreciated and if the roles were reversed, you’d have done the same for them. But people and relationships were complicated. You weren’t sure how your friends would react to the whole thing.

Maria, for example, had been incredibly cautious and resistant when you filled her in. Not that she didn’t believe in giving people second chances - but instead held true to the fact that all men were just big clueless morons who never did the right thing. You couldn’t fault her for that opinion either. But even if you figured out your own feelings and walls, you’d never be able to really date Steve again if your friends hated him.

“Hmm,” Maria leaned against your counter, removing the dish cloth from her shoulder as she organized her things. “Well, you should walk me out.” She turned to you. “Points to Steve for respecting boundaries and still caring about you, but I’d feel better seeing him grovel up close.”

Clint let out a belly laugh. “Me too”

While Maria and Clint headed out, you took the opportunity to put Hercules’ leash on for one last trip outside before bed. When you stepped into the hallway, Bucky was waiting for you.

“This isn’t my place and I know you’re smart enough,” he started slowly, dropping his hand down to accept a lick from Hercules. “But you know you don’t owe Steve anything right? I told him that the day might come where you don’t answer his phone calls and he has to deal with it on his own. If you close the door, he will keep his distance.”

You scrunched up your face, then shrugged. “Thanks, Bucky. Sounds like you’ve been doing a lot of emotional support for him.”

“You have no idea, doll. It’s part of my role as lifelong best friend, unfortunately. It’s a heavy burden to bear,” Bucky laughed, shrugging too. “He’s got some demons to work through - I guess we all do. Right now with you though? He’s trying real hard not to look like he’s trying.”

You caught up with Clint and Maria at the elevator then headed to the lobby. As you walked out, you spotted Sam leaning against the front desk, chatting with the overnight doorman. And then there was Steve - standing at attention, hands locked behind his back, an equal distance between the front entrance and the elevators. He was dressed in what you considered his normal attire - a crisp navy suit over a plain shirt, no tie. He made effortless look so damn good and you sort of hated it.

When he saw you, he took a few strides forward.

Bucky and Clint joined Sam to the side while Maria lingered behind your shoulder. Hercules tugged on his leash and pulled you towards Steve immediately, clearly overjoyed to see him.

“Hey,” you started as you approached. “I unintentionally ignored your calls, I’m sorry. Just plugged my phone in and forgot about it for a while.”

Steve shook his head quickly. You couldn’t help but see his resolve lighten, as if seeing you caused his shoulders to relax. “You don’t have to apologize. I shouldn’t have dragged everyone here, there was just this..” Whatever Steve was going to say, he seemed to change his mind. He blinked twice then scanned you. “Is that.. flour?” He reached and brushed your shoulder clean.

“We’ve been baking,” you filled in quickly, doing your best to try and read him. “Claire is hosting us for Friendsgiving tomorrow and–”

“You should come!” Maria blurted out from behind you.

With wide eyes, you looked over your shoulder at her. ‘What?’ you mouthed.

Now it was Maria’s turn to shrug. “Claire said her cousin had to bail so there’s an extra seat and..” She took a step forward, nodding at you in reassurance before looking at Steve. “And Luke will be there. So.. you know, you’ll have a friend..”

“I thought Claire invited Matt?” You couldn’t help but ask as your brain caught up to you. “That doesn’t..” You turned back to Steve. “You are more than welcome to come. I know you’re busy and have a lot of–”

“I’d love to,” Steve answered slowly, as if trying to make sure you were even okay with the concept. You reached out and grabbed his nearest hand, with a squeeze. That seemed to be reassurance enough. “What can I bring?”

Steve and his crew left shortly after, not before Steve gave you a soft kiss on the cheek. You forced Maria to join you outside with Hercules before her Uber showed up. The fresh air was something you really needed to cool down.

“So,” You turned to Maria, tipping your head to the side dramatically. “What the hell was that?”

Maria whined out your name, shaking her head. “That guy is in love with you. And trust me, he has a long way to go before I will trust him again, but damn. He looks at you like you’re the most important person on the planet. And I think you love him too.”

“Maria..” You sighed, leaning your head onto her shoulder. “I don’t know how things got so complicated.”

“I just want you to be happy and safe,” she carried on, giving you a small pat on the head. “I get that not everyone is into second chances but.. I don’t know, life is short. If you feel comfortable giving the guy another chance, then we could too. Maybe. Wanda for sure can get on board, Claire might have some reservations.”

“And inviting Steve tomorrow is supposed to be some test?”

“Obviously,” Maria smirked, looking like you had said the most ridiculous thing in the world. “I think it’s only fair for us to really get to know him.”

–––

Claire lived in a beautiful rent controlled apartment in the middle of Harlem. She complained about the location every now and then - it wasn’t the smoothest commute for her to get to work - but at the end of the day, it was functional and roomy.

Which was good, considering you, Claire and Maria had rearranged most of her living room and kitchen area to host a dozen people for Friendsgiving. With a set of borrowed chairs and a folding table from Claire’s downstairs neighbour, you managed to set up the area just in time before everyone started to arrive.

When Maria had spilled in the group chat about inviting Steve to dinner, Claire had been apprehensive but on board, for your sake. And although you had been grateful for your friends’ open mindedness when it came to Steve, you were suddenly nervous about the whole thing.

Mostly because - oh god, what if he had a terrible time? Or what if he got a phone call in the middle of dinner and had to disappear? Was he going to bring a gun with him? Jesus, you hadn’t even thought about that and what if-

Claire dropped a hand on your shoulder. “Girl, you need to chill.” She urged a glass of your preferred wine into your free hand and sent you away from the kitchen area. “He’s just a man, remember.”

You laughed and clinked your glass with hers. Claire was always a good voice of reason, which you appreciated. You turned to her with a smile. “A good reminder, thank you. But speaking of men - why did you invite both your current fling and your ex to this?”

Before Claire could defend her own actions, Maria was answering a knock at the door and guests started to arrive. After a few arrivals, you were the one greeting at the door and you couldn’t hold back your smile when Steve showed up, with Luke at his side.

“Hey,” you said, politely stepping aside to let Luke in while you lingered in the doorway with Steve. “You look nice.” It felt silly to say but you couldn’t help yourself. Steve had traded his typical suit for a pair of dark brown slacks and a knitted red striped polo. His hair was perfectly coiffed and you just wanted to… kiss him. Damnit.

Steve smirked in response, pulling you into a side hug. “You look nice, sweetheart.” Okay, yes, you had picked out one of your favourite dresses. But that was because you wanted to dress up for Friendsgiving, that was the only reason.

After he shed his coat, you noticed Steve was carrying flowers. You didn’t even have a moment to comment on them before he headed towards the kitchen, where he presented the bouquet directly to Claire. She accepted them with a smile, and when he turned away, you caught her eye. She pointed towards the flowers and mouthed ‘Ten points!’

It didn’t surprise you that Steve managed to socialize effectively with everyone he just met, but he truly did such an impressive job holding conversations. Before dinner, he engrossed himself in a chat with Claire’s on-again-off-again ex-boyfriend Matt, the lawyer, and his coworker Foggy. They seemed to have some common interests in certain legal matters that mostly sounded incredibly boring to you.

Steve stayed within your orbit and even when you were in the kitchen finalizing a few things with Claire, you caught him looking your way. Why did that make your heart beat so fast?

You sat at his side for dinner and when everyone was going around sharing what they were thankful for, Steve’s hand found your knee under the table. When you said you were thankful for all the people in your life (and your dog, of course), Steve gave you a delicate squeeze and rubbed his thumb against your thigh.

After dinner, he found you in the kitchen.

“You know, Bucky was bragging all night about your cookies,” Steve saddled up beside you as you leaned against the kitchen counter, while you nibbled at the last piece of apple pie. Steve grabbed a spare fork and joined you. “They ain’t got nothing on this pie.”

You smiled. “Glad you liked it.”

“Apple is my favourite,” Steve replied, licking his lip after cleaning off his fork. “Ma makes a good one but I think she has some competition.”

“That seems like really high praise,” you laughed, leaning against the counter. Steve mirrored you, resting his hand behind your back. It was subtle, maybe even barely noticeable, but he very slowly started to trace circles against the soft fabric of your dress. You were melting. “I’m really glad you came. Hopefully it wasn’t too painful for you.”

He tipped his head to look at you. “We will have to thank Maria for inviting me.”

When Steve politely offered you a ride home, you couldn’t say no. Since you were both heading towards the same area of Brooklyn, it made a lot more sense than taking the subway. As you were leaving, Clarie, Maria and Wanda all gave you the same friendly judgemental look. You accepted that as approval for your actions, departing with a small smile and Steve’s hand at your back.

In typical Steve fashion, he walked you inside and to your apartment door. And then he even happily joined as you took Hercules outside for some air.

Then, well, the night was over. Steve had come to dinner, Steve had brought you home. What else was there to do?

“You can share those cookies with Bucky,” you said with a smile as you stood in the hallway, between Steve and your door. You were sending him home with the rest of the snickerdoodles. “Or keep them all to yourself.”

Steve smiled, raising his hand to brush it through his hair. God, that was sexy. Had that always been sexy? What was going on? Why were you feeling this way?

“Thank you again for letting me join you tonight,” he said slowly, then his feet shuffled forward half a step closer to you. “Hopefully your friends don’t hate me.”

You laughed, sliding your tongue across your lips. You watched his eyes dart down, watching carefully. You swallowed the lump in your throat. “Steve..”

Then he leaned in, holding your hips with his hands, and pressed his lips… to your cheek. You tried not to deflate.

His palms lingered against you for a moment, then he pulled back. You couldn’t read his face.

“Goodnight, sweetheart.”

–

You texted him well after midnight.

You [1:12AM]: are you awake? S Rogers [1:12AM]: yes

Steve answered your call after the first ring. “Is everything okay?”

You couldn’t believe you had actually hit ‘call’ but something deep within you compelled you to. It was dark in your bedroom and you couldn’t stop thinking about Steve. You had been restless in bed for over an hour as his face flashed through your mind. Steve with his broad shoulders. Steve with his lingering hands. The way his chain bounced on his chest, how he growled when he came…

Just moments ago you had reached into your bedside table for your little vibrating toy. It wasn’t the first time you had put it to use thinking about Steve. But this time, you were imagining him tearing off that knit polo, the lingering smell of his aftershave, his weight on you.

If you couldn’t feel him, maybe you could hear him.

“I’m fine..” You said slowly. “Are you at home?” It occurred to you he might have gone directly to Shield after he dropped you off.

Your name left his lips, drawing your attention back to the call. “I’m home. What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

“What’s wrong is..” You tried to steady your breathing. Your voice dropped down. “.. you’re not in bed beside me.”

Silence. Then, you heard his breath hitch. “Baby..”

“I can’t..” You were whining into the phone. “I want to come, Steve. Will you help me? Please?.”

He chuckled, lowering his voice. “I can’t say no to that request, sweetheart. Tell me - what are you doing? You using that toy?”

“Uh huh,” you preened back. You had been sliding it across your skin, teasing yourself for as long as you could. “I’ve been thinking about you, Stevie. You and me.”

“Me too, baby. Fuck.” You could hear more shuffling on his side. Christ. Was he touching himself too? “Listen to me, I’m going to help you. Bet you’re already wet, aren’t you?”

You just whined in response.

“Turn that toy up a notch, baby. Circle your clit real slow. And what about your nipples? God, if I was there–”

“Tell me, please. If you were here..”

Half an hour later, as your laboured breathing settled after two quivering orgasms, Steve wished you goodnight and sweet dreams.

–––

Given it was the night before Thanksgiving, your boss has been flexible when you had to dash out early. The frantic call from Kate at the dog daycare had been surprising, but thankfully your heart rate steadied out when you learned that Hercules was okay. They hadn’t spared any other details, but politely asked owners to come collect their dogs earlier than usual.

Truthfully, you had barely been functional at work all week anyway. Sure, you went through the motions and got your tasks done but before a long weekend, most people were half-assing their responsibilities anyway. And your mind was still racing after Friendsgiving dinner and the phone call with Steve and… Steve.

Fuck.

You were one of the last to arrive at the daycare, patiently waiting in line to check Hercules out. Once you had him, leash in hand, you turned to leave. Then you spotted Natasha and Yelena chatting quietly to the side of the room, and, well, you couldn’t help but follow your gut.

You saw Yelena there quite often, but Natasha was a rare sighting. Ever since your conversation with Steve after the whole warehouse incident, something had been pricking at the back of your mind.

“..Natasha barely talked to me for weeks after that night..”

Taking a deep breath, you headed toward the sisters. Luckily, it seemed like their conversation had come to an end anyway as Yelena rushed past you with a hurried hello, then joined Kate somewhere behind the scenes. Nataha remained planted where she stood, scanning over her phone. She tipped her head up as you approached.

“Hey,” you started out slowly, offering a reluctant smile.

Nat crouched briefly, greeting Hercules with a few head scratches before she met your gaze again. “How are you?”

“I was wondering if.. you had like two minutes to chat?” You asked, eyes closed tight as you anticipated her answer. You weren’t sure what it was about Natasha, but she intimated you immensely. You weren’t scared of her but something made you want to impress her.

Natasha looked at her phone again, eyes narrowed, then back to you. “I can give you five.” With a nod of her head, you followed her behind the front desk and into the small staff kitchen area opposite the main daycare space.

While Natasha dropped onto one of the well worn couches, quickly joined by Hercules as you let go of his leash, you couldn’t steady yourself. All at once, your burning questions and thoughts swirled around in your mind. Then, you took a deep breath and opened your mouth.

“Steve told me a few weeks ago, that when we broke up.. he said you stopped talking to him for a while. I wanted to ask you why..” You raised a shoulder up to shrug, then watched Natasha from across the room.

After a few beats, she let out a quiet laugh. Then, she leaned forward on the couch, elbow resting on her knees, and she stared at you. “Can I be frank with you?”

You swallowed, then found a chair to sit on near a small table. “I’d rather you be Natasha..” When that clearly shielded attempt at humour landed no response, you cleared your throat and nodded. “Yes, please.”

Natasha sighed. “Steve trusts me and when he asks me for advice, I don’t sugar coat it. Dating Steve is not an easy task and your wellbeing is his top priority. So I get why he made his decision. But I did firmly advise him not to be an asshole about it. It was going to hurt you either way, but it was up to him to control the delivery.”

You rolled your eyes. “Yeah, well, he did a terrible job.” It didn’t sting as much anymore – really. Given how much your friendship or whatever had evolved with him now, the words didn’t echo through your mind like they used to. You understood why he had made his choices and you could see his remorse in every interaction you’ve had since. Of course, it wasn’t possible to erase what had happened but you and Steve both looked back at it differently now.

Natasha relaxed again, pressing her back into the couch. “I have known Steve for a long time and I have rarely seen him act as selfishly as he did. You deserved better than a breakup over a phone call. Jesus, when he told me what he said – I should have gut punched him. In an attempt to protect you, he fucked up something good for you both. It’s bullshit and embarrassing.” Another sigh escaped her. “And, you didn’t hear this from me, but Steve has never let himself be happy. Because this world and this work can really leave you numb. He was so different once you came into his life, it was something else. So, I was rooting for you two.”

You couldn’t help but feel your cheeks warm up with her last sentence. This seemed like something rare, a secret revealed from someone prone to privacy.

“I see why he made his self sacrifice with you. It is classic Steve, if he cares about something, he cares deeply and shows it.” She pinned you with a stare, giving you another once over. “Here’s the thing. You get to decide if you want to forgive him but if you look back over everything – every single moment with Steve – was there a pattern that makes forgiveness worth it?” Her phone, which had been resting on the couch beside her leg, started to vibrate. “Shit. I’ve gotta take this.”

Natasha stepped away briefly, keeping her tone hushed.

Christ, you probably need a therapist to start unpacking everything that Natasha had just presented. Was there a pattern?

Yes.

Every single action from Steve since the beginning had been, well, selfless. He was constantly putting your needs above everything else. The day you saved him outside the restaurant, he took you to the one person he trusted the most for care. When you called him in distress during your apartment break in, he didn’t hesitate to come help you.

He picked up on your subtleties, your fears and concerns. He moved you to a safer apartment, he protected you from unsavoury people, he pleaded for your understanding, he always left you feeling satisfied. More importantly, he let himself be himself around you. You loved seeing the personal, soft side of Steve. You.. you loved Steve. And maybe it was time to take the leap of faith again - because you missed him when he wasn’t around.

Fuck.

Before your logical brain could catch up and decide what to do with this revelation, Natasha was standing in front of you again. Her eyes were hiding something.

You held your breath when she finally spoke.

“So, speaking of Steve…”

–––

Ever since that night, at the abandoned warehouse, on that rooftop.. Steve had been on edge. More than before. You were constantly on his mind, and despite his efforts to ensure you were safe, he couldn’t settle.

Well, until he got to hear your voice every night. That… that started to mean more to him than he could explain. It was different this time around - the slow build to flirting, wrapped underneath a foundation of familiarity.

But it felt like that spark from before had returned, though he couldn’t act on it.

He couldn’t. He wouldn’t.

Bucky had been his voice of reason through all of the confusing feelings. He kept Steve grounded in reality - that the ball was in your court only, forever. If you were ever going to humour Steve again, it was your choice, at your pace. And maybe it would never happen. Bucky had reminded Steve more than once.

Every agonizing decision Steve was making lately had you at the forefront. Maybe it wouldn’t end up how he wanted it, but if you were safe and secure and happy, nothing else mattered.

Though it had been completely irrational for Steve to make the crew rush to your apartment on a Friday night, the precautionary gamble ended up paying off. Not only were you perfectly safe, but Steve had somehow managed to end up with an invitation to dinner with your friends.

And dinner had gone surprisingly well too. The moments with you and in your world, away from his own, had been so calming. A reminder that life existed outside of the seedy underbelly, where friendly conversation and good food were the only reason why people got together. God, he had enjoyed every minute of it. But more than anything, he was happy to be at your side.

Leaving your doorway that night with just a simple kiss on the cheek had been hard for him to do. But everything needed to go at your pace. If that meant an inappropriate late night phone call, he’d help you out, too.

He was fucked.

Admittedly, the past few days had been a welcome distraction following Saturday night. Some events in his business life ended up escalating way quicker than Steve had anticipated - which largely meant ignoring other priorities (and thoughts of you) to assist Bucky with his latest project - the dog fighting ring investigation.

Steve had kept Rhodes in the loop about their plan, much to the former DA’s dismay. Steve had made it his own personal mission to take down this underground operation and he promised Rhodes the public credit. But Steve needed the NYPD to turn a blind eye to their plan.

The ambush took place that Wednesday afternoon, with Bucky, Steve, Sam and a few additional men breaking into an abandoned facility in north Queens and going in with plenty of ammunition. They recovered nearly a dozen dogs, most of which immediately went to a veterinary hospital to be checked out. The pups who didn’t need overnight care were to be transferred to Kate’s facility for the weekend, with the costs covered by Steve.

But, after all was said and done, not everyone had left unscathed. Four of the people organizing the dog fighting were sent to a hospital with some severe wounds thanks to Bucky. And Steve, out of all people, had ended up with a pretty dramatic gash in his left arm from one of the dogs. He didn’t blame the poor animal for the situation, of course. But medical attention was necessary.

That was how he ended up at his mom’s clinic - once again. Sarah Rogers had, of course, greeted him warmly then delivered a firm lecture to him about his personal safety.

Just as Sarah was finishing up cleaning his arm and applying a few temporary sutures to the area, there was a small commotion happening somewhere beyond their room at the entrance.

Steve didn’t hesitate to rush towards the lobby area, finding the intake nurse addressing someone at the door. That’s when he saw who that someone was - you.

Maybe he had lost more blood than he thought, but damn. With the late afternoon sunset streaming in, backlighting you perfectly, it looked like a halo of light. A perfect ring of light framing you, like an angel - as you desperately asked the front desk nurse about Steve, where he was, if he was okay.

The nurse was caught in a repetitive loop, explaining that she couldn’t say who was at the clinic and insisting that dogs weren’t allowed in the building and you needed to leave and –

Steve took a few steps forward, calling out your name.

Sarah hurried behind the desk and calmed down the girl who sat there, quietly pulling her to the side to leave Steve alone. With you.

“Steve!” You blinked twice and rushed towards him, stopping yourself before you crashed into his chest. “Natasha told me you were here and.. What happened?” You reached out and carefully grabbed his arm, where fresh gauze covered the bite.

Steve answered quickly, removing your hand from his arm and raising it up to kiss the back. “It looks worse than it is, I promise.”

You smiled at him and nodded. “Okay. Good.” Then you took a deep breath. “And all the dogs - they’re safe?”

“Yes, sweetheart. All receiving the care and rest they deserve.” Before Steve realized what was happening, you were throwing your arms around him. He whispered your name softly, rubbing a hand down your back.

You pulled back and met his soft gaze. “Steve..” You scanned over him again, as if double checking what he said was true. Aside from the bandaging on his arm, Steve truthfully was unharmed. His emotions had been a rollercoaster but for some reason, seeing you had helped settle most of that.

His hand moved and cradled your jaw for just a moment, before brushing against your cheek. “Did you rush all the way here because you were worried about me?”

Your eyes widened before you shook your head. “What? No. I’m not.. It was Hercules, actually, who wanted to make sure all the dogs were okay.”

Steve couldn’t hold back his grin. “Right.”

“We-” You motioned your head towards Hercules, who was sitting patiently nearby - “weren’t sure what Natasha meant when she said you were injured and..” A long slow breath escaped you. “I just needed to see you.”

Steve could understand your panic, given how he had dramatically rushed to your apartment building over the weekend. Those parallels weren’t lost on him. It had to mean something, right? It all had to mean something.

Your reunion was interrupted by Steve’s ringing phone, where he cursed under his breath before moving his hands from you. “I’ve gotta take this, I’m sorry.”

While Steve took his call from Bucky, you were quickly greeted by an excited Sarah, who grabbed your hand and pulled you away to catch up.

–––

Following your reunion at the clinic, Steve had one of his hands on you. Behind your back, holding your hand, his own hand on your knee on the drive back. He only let go briefly to let you hug Sarah goodbye, after you accepted her invitation to Thanksgiving dinner the next day.

Now, back at your apartment, all you could think about was what was Steve, Steve, Steve. His phone had buzzed with another call from Bucky the moment you stepped inside. He apologized before answering, and you could have sworn you heard him cursing his friend out.

You refreshed Hercules water and food bowls then went into your bedroom, trying to tidy the place up. When you went to pull your blinds down, you couldn’t help but find yourself distracted by the city. Although your view wasn’t as impressive as Steve’s penthouse, you could see into the Brooklyn streets below. At the right angle, you could even see the final orange glow of the sunset through some of the buildings.

It had proved to be a big enough distraction because you didn’t even hear Steve end his call or walk into the room behind you. Instead, you felt his hands on your shoulders, slowly wrapping around and pulling you against his chest. His lips brushed the top of your head.

“Everything good?” You murmured as his hands started to trail their way down your body.

“Mmhmm,” Steve replied quietly, dipping his head down, breathing hot against the side of your neck. “Is this okay?”

You closed your eyes. “Yes but..” It took everything in you to pause, but you turned around in his arms and did just that. “Wait.”

He immediately stopped what he was doing, removing his hands from you as he searched your face. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” you answered too quickly.

He said your name knowingly then repeated himself. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

“Okay, okay. I’m just going to say it. Steve, I want this again - with you. I want us to press reset but I’m really fucking scared.”

You watched Steve absorb your words. Telling the truth was something you knew you had to do, but you hoped Steve understood. He was still, but you could see his brain computing.

“And it’s not about the… rooftop thing. Although.. I definitely don’t think back to that night fondly.” You shook your head as you continued. “I’m scared you’re going to change your mind again. Because I don’t know if I can feel like that again. I’ve convinced myself that the good feelings outweigh that risk but..” Your voice cracked. “I’m scared.”

Steve grabbed your hands and turned you enough to help you sit on the bed. He crouched down in front of you, tracing his thumbs across your knees. “Sweetheart. Hurting you was the biggest regret of my life. I know my words can only mean so much but I want you to hear me.” You met his gaze and nodded. “I’m an idiot. An idiot who will do everything in his power to prove to you how much you mean to me. I can’t undo what I said and resetting doesn’t make it go away. But I love you and want to make this work for us if you’ll give me this chance.”

You raised your hands and cradled his face. “That was quite the speech.”

He smirked. “I mean it, baby. Every word.”

“Okay.” You took in another breath then let it out slowly.

“Okay?” Steve asked.

“Okay, let’s reset.” Your hands left his cheeks, carding through his hair as your lips crashed into his. Kissing Steve didn’t feel like going back to the beginning though - it felt like picking up where you left off.

Steve didn’t waste a moment responding, hands traveling to the back of your neck to steady you as he pushed you down on the bed. Everything happening now, in that moment, was all that mattered to you both. Steve wanted you, you wanted him. Nothing else needed to make sense.

Your hands roamed down Steve’s torso as he hovered over you, pulling at his shirt and trying to make quick work of the buttons. Steve shed his shirt without his lips leaving you, pressing hot wet kisses against your cheek, down towards your neck. Your eyes fluttered shut at the sensation, gasping when his teeth grazed your shoulder.

“Less clothes,” he whined out, removing himself from you long enough for your top to come off. He stood off the bed briefly to slip out of his pants, while you shimmied out of your jeans. You were left in just your underwear, some very unsexy unmatched set.

But lord, the way Steve looked at you.

“You’re so beautiful,” he said firmly, crawling back over you on the bed. He braced himself above you again, tracing a finger up your jaw to tip your chin up.

You felt your cheeks grow warm. “Steve..”

‘“I’m sorry if what I said… on that phone call - if it ever made you doubt how fucking beautiful you are.” He dipped his head down and met your lips again, softer this time. “I love you, the shape of your body..” He trailed his kisses down you again, towards your chest. “Your heart..” His hands moved down the same way, tracing gently across your chest, along your soft stomach, on top of every single piece of you that you didn’t always love. “I love all of you.”

“Steve,” you whimpered under his touch, squeezing your eyes shut. “Please don’t make me cry.” You choked out a laugh, tipping your head back to mind your happy tears. When you looked back, he was staring at you with a lovestruck smile again. “Thank you. I love you too.”

He grinned, once again leaning down to press his lips to your skin. This time, it was just above your belly button. “It’s okay to cry, sweetheart. But how about I make you come instead?”

How could you argue with that?

Steve surveyed your form intently as he got back to work, hands and lips peppering against your skin. He slid his fingers under the waistband of your underwear and slid them down your legs. You helped to kick them away, just as Steve was licking his lips.

His eyes flicked to you. “Lay back, baby. Get comfortable.”

You were quick to shift on the bed, into your pillows. Just as you rested your head back, you felt the bed sink slightly just between your legs. Then the soft kisses that had been decorating your skin were inside your thighs. And then–

You let out a whimper when his mouth met your center. You knew you were already wet, but when Steve growled against your clit and slid a finger into you, it felt like a flood.

“Oh my g-god, Steve.” With one hand, you grasped at his hair. The other dragged across your chest, pulling your own bra down to grab your nipples. “Yes, yes, please.”

Your eyes squeezed shut, breathless as Steve continued stroking, suctioning against your clit as your moans grew louder. When another finger entered you, crooked inside in search of just the right spot, you nearly combusted. And when you did careen over the edge just moments later, Steve didn’t slow down.

In a daze you sat up slightly to watch him work. He was drowning in you, his own hips grinding against the bed as he consumed you. Jesus fucking Christ - that was hot. Steve was hot. This - this was hot.

“Steve,” you called for him as his mouth finally slowed down, returning to slow kisses against the inside of your thighs again. He looked up and met your eyes, drunk with love and contentment. “I need to feel you - please.”

“Okay, baby,” he replied with a soft smile. “Let me take care of you.” He shucked off his boxers and crawled up the bed again, hovering above you once more.

You raked your hands over his chest when he was close enough, gripping his hips as you pulled him down and kissed him. Your own taste lingered on his lips and tongue as he breathed into you.

“You ready?” He asked softly, reaching between your waists to position himself.

“Mmhmm,” you whispered, pressing another kiss against him. “Please.”

“Fuck,” Steve cursed out, eyes closing as he pushed himself in. God, you fit together so well. Once he felt comfortable, watching you for the right signs of pleasure, he moved out slowly before finding a rhythm.

“Steve, I missed you so much..” You wrapped your hands around his neck, in an attempt to keep him as close to you as possible. With one hand, he held one of your legs up, just enough to elicit better friction. And with the other, he cradled the back of your neck. “Missed this - this stretch..”

You could feel him smiling as he kissed you again. His hips sped up, adding just enough extra pressure that you could really feel him. You’d feel him tomorrow, too.

“My girl,” he said breathlessly against your neck. “Always. Mine..” His mouth ravaged your neck and shoulders. “Want this forever.. Want you forever..” He slowed down momentarily. “Wanna fill you up, baby.”

“Yes, yes please..” you said in return, scratching across his back with your hands as you braced yourself. A low growl escaped him as he came. He tensed up as he finished, weight heavy on top of you as you both caught your breaths.

As his head rested near yours, his lips pressed against your earlobe. “You’re so beautiful, sweetheart. I love you.”

You were still laying in a daze when Steve returned to you in the bed after cleaning up, placing a cup of tea on the bedside table closest to you. His own matching cup rested in his hands. You sat up, pulling up the sheet with you as you rested against the headboard.

Shifting slightly, you pivoted to look at him. “I really missed you.”

He grinned. “So you said.”

“No, not just that.” You gave his shoulder a small nudge, careful not to jostle his tea. “I just like being around you.”

His smile softened. “Me too.” He drew in a long breath and moved his cup to the side table before continuing. He said your name, drawing your gaze to his. “Resetting doesn’t make who I am go away.”

You gulped. “I know.” He seemed to be searching for what to say next, so you continued instead. “I can’t pretend to understand why you do what you do. And I don’t decide what is right and wrong. Neither of us do.” You took a deep breath. “But I want to be with you. That makes me feel a little bit crazy but maybe that’s part of being in love.”

Steve laughed. “You’re in love, huh.”

Rolling your eyes, you fell into his side. “Yeah, unfortunately.”

“And I love you, baby.” He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you against his chest, against his heart. He kissed your forehead. “I’m going to keep my professional life at bay. I won’t be able to stop it from bleeding into this but I promise you I will do everything in my power to keep you safe. I take that privilege seriously.” You felt him squeeze you a bit tighter. “Though I do think there are some precautions we can take, too.”

“We?” You pulled back slightly and watched him.

“I’m going to get you something for your keys and pepper spray for your bag. How would you feel about taking a self-defense class?”

You scrunched up your face as you considered. “It has been on my to-do list for a long time.” Even without a high profile partner like Steve, knowing you feel prepared in times of danger was something you knew was important. You probably should have prioritized it sooner, really.

“Natasha teaches a class, actually. At her gym.”

“Natasha has a gym?” You nodded. “Yeah, okay. I could do that. Will you take the class with me?”

Steve laughed again. “I don’t need self-defense training, sweetheart.”

“But then we can practice together. C’mon, pleeease.”

Steve groaned, but it was evident very quickly he’d do anything you asked. So, he nodded. “Fine.”

You paused. “You’re not going to make me carry a gun, are you?”

“First of all, I’d never make you do anything.” He sat up a bit straighter, face stern. “And no, absolutely not. I hope you are never in a position where that kind of defense is required.”

You settled against him again. Big conversations like this were expected and you knew it made sense to feel a bit scared still. But, that wasn’t the feeling lingering in your stomach anymore. No, it was more like… safety, contentment, familiarity.

It was something akin to being home.

–––

Shield closed down on Christmas Eve and reopened on New Years Eve, so you weren’t sure why Steve needed to check in there in the middle of the holiday week. Sure, his office was upstairs but he had vowed to do as little work as possible over your days off together. And yet, after a lovely dinner together, he apologetically announced there was something there he needed to check in on.

You had shared a few delicious plates at May’s, a small Italian place in Queens. Steve had given you a history of the restaurant on your way - it was one of the first properties he invested in years ago so it was clearly a special place. When you arrived, the server had immediately showed you to a more intimate table tucked away in the back corner.

Wine and food arrived at the table without a menu or many words exchanged between the server and Steve. After you had finished eating - polishing off one of the best tiramisus you had ever tasted - the restaurant owner, May, came out to say hello.

When you left without mentioning a bill, you had a feeling that the business Steve did with May extended beyond just being a landlord. You didn’t ask any questions though.

Over the last month with Steve, the questionable moments were quite rare. He really did maintain the boundary between his personal life and everything else, with only a bit of a crossover. You had joined him at the club a few times - because you realized dating the club owner eliminated all the awful things you hated about going out. You never had to wait for entrance or for a drink ever again. Your friends especially liked the free drinks and safe rides home, too.

That was only a fringe benefit of being with Steve though. What really stood out to you was just Steve. Getting to know each other all over again had been exciting and fulfilling, in many ways.

You kept up your nightly phone calls. Well, when you weren’t crashing at his or him dropping into your bed, you kept up the calls. You had spent Thanksgiving with him at Sarah’s and were greeted with boxes of childhood photos to fawn over. For Christmas, you, Steve and Sarah had all travelled up to Albany to spend the day cooking and celebrating with your mom.

Slowly, it seemed your worlds would be blending together. And you weren’t really sure what the future was going to hold and how that might transpire, but you decided it was worth seeing what could happen. Because being with Steve seemed worth it.

“I promise this won’t take too long,” Steve’s voice broke you from your thoughts, as he parked his car near the back exit of the club. It was a small lot reserved for Steve and Shield staff members only, currently only occupied by one other black car. You weren’t sure who that belonged to. Maybe Natasha was there doing inventory of the bar before New Years.

You gave him a smile from the passenger seat, leaning over to meet his lips for a kiss. “Remember that we have a big day of sleeping in without an alarm tomorrow so..” He smirked. “Take all the time you need.”

Steve bounded out of the car and raced around to help you out, extending his hand to ensure you stepped safely onto the asphalt. You had dressed up for dinner, picking out your favourite black dress paired with some heels that didn’t cause you too much pain to walk in. Steve had grinned like a schoolboy when he picked you up, which made you feel, well, beautiful. You had paired the dress with your Christmas gift from him - a stunning gold and diamond pendant, shaped like a wing. A matching wing now sat with the chain on his neck, too.

You clutched Steve’s hand as you headed through the backdoor of the club. From the dark back hallway, you could have sworn you could hear music playing somewhere. Maybe it was just the memory of whatever song was just playing in Steve’s car.

As you twisted down the hallway, past the back office, storage rooms, and the back stairs up towards the second floor, the music grew a bit louder. You definitely heard music. You tried to ask Steve what was going on but he just squeezed your hand, threw a mischievous grin over his shoulder and carried on.

When you finally made it to the main club area, it was still pitch black. The music kept playing. You grasped both of Steve’s hands in a panic and by the time you had formed a sentence to ask a worried question, the lights powered on.

But it wasn’t the regular industrial overhead lights. Nor was it the multicoloured pot lights that danced around to match the beat of the club music. No, this was something else.

Above you, the multicoloured lights were steady and emitting just a soft blue tone. Across the open railings above, partitioning off the downstairs area from the VIPs upstairs, various strands of string lights were hung and illuminated. It made the club area feel almost intimate.

You dropped Steve’s hands and turned around, speechless as you took it all in. On the end of the bar, you spotted a bottle of champagne sitting on ice with two matching glasses waiting. The music playing above you switched to something softer. An old song crackled through the speakers.

You turned back to Steve, who was gazing at you.

He stepped towards you, hand extended. “Dance with me, sweetheart?”

How could you say no to that request?

Steve helped you take off your coat and discarded his own. Then he pulled you towards the very center of the room, under a now spinning disco ball that splashed flickers of light around the space.

“Steve,” you started, resting your head against his chest. One of his palms cradled the small of your back while the other grasped your hand, hovering in the air as he led you in slow circles.. “Did you do this all just for me?”

He chuckled. You could feel it rumble through him. “Bucky helped me out.”

You smiled, squeezing his hand in response. You didn’t know what to say.

And maybe that was okay, because at that moment, it was just you and Steve. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “I promise I’ll always dance with you.”

FIN

-----

Author's Note: Thank you again so much for reading! I have a few ideas for additional one shots in this AU, including a smutty little threesome fic and a small story with Bucky and a girl from the club. if you have any questions or want to know more about this universe or Steve and Reader, please please drop into my inbox or the comments!! love you all!!

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x plus size reader #steve rogers x plus sized reader #steve rogers x you #mob boss steve rogers #mob boss steve rogers x reader #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers #story: sink into me #simmerandwrite #simmerandcry

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