#or the stupidest gag imaginable

[thestuffedalligator]

It's been said before, but goddammit I love the material components for spells in D&D. They're so stupid.

Detect Thoughts requires a copper to cast. Gust of Wind needs beans. Sunbeam requires a magnifying glass. Passwall uses sesame seeds.

Darkvision needs fucking. Carrots.

[kissingrhi]

i can’t stop thinking about remer with a size kink TAKE MY PHONE AWAY

this request actually awakened something in my soul

matt's 6'2 [weeps] [wails] [falls to the ground]

definitely realized it in one of the dumbest ways imaginable and was Super embarrassed

like you were probably just comparing hand sizes with him and in his mind he's like "am i attracted to this???"

spoiler alert: he absolutely is

while he is very crude sometimes, he can actually be very gentlemanly!

so he had nothing to do but sit and blush (at least in the beginning) when you would playfully poke fun at how "gargantuanly tall" he is or ask him to carry you everywhere

only way you got it out of him was during an extremely drunk make out session at 4 am

you two smelt like liquor and sweat and you can vaguely recall him mumbling something about how easy you are to move, how "pliant you are in his hands" (his excuse: he's an emotional drunk!)

even though the next day when you brought it up he was absolutely mortified and threw a pillow so hard he thought he'd knocked you out, the secret was out

from that point forward, he was basically shameless

giggles like a mad man at the sight of his hand against your ass, even in the most intimate scenarios

"it's like i can cup both your cheeks with just my fingers" "please shut the hell up"

whenever you wear his clothes he loses it

"you should know better. last time i slammed you into the wall so hard i think there's a dent."

the KING of goofy dirty talk

he'd bust out laughing while fingering you and be like, "aren't you just so precious and small? snookums." with a pinch to your cheek while you're literally grinding against his fingers and begging for him to touch you

once when you were on top you dragged his hand up to grasp around your throat and you're sure you've never seen him that aroused in your life

his eyes darkened and he squeezed a gentle push into one of your pulse points and the same exact time he thrusted up into you, proceeding to ravage you just from how much of your body his palms could cover

whenever you two fight, which is a lot and usually over very stupid shit, it'll most likely end with him pushing you against the wall and fucking you right there

"keep mouthing off and i'll show you how small you are next to me"

such an ass about the difference in your sizes in and out of the bedroom

100000% uses you as a headrest

finds it very endearing and very pleasing when you gag on his length

"no, no it's okay, baby - i'm too big for you, aren't i?" with the stupidest grin on his face

in his sellout era he was the cockiest of all, swinging you over his shoulder and giving your ass a firm smack whenever you'd frustrate him, all while laughing maniacally (it is extremely hard for him to take sex seriously!)

he holds both your wrists in one of his hands during doggystyle

he gets extremely aroused when you take control and the size difference even catches him when he's feeling more submissive

like when he's panting while making out with you and grinding his clothed cock against your knee and you mumble, "not so big and bad now?" into his mouth and against his tongue.....he cannot handle it. will cream his pants. has creamed his pants. doesn't wanna talk about it.

him holding your entire body and moving you while fucking you!!!!! the control does wild things to him

"i can just have you however i want, huh?"

he is so cocky and goofy in bed i cannot stress this enough

[little-emerald-snake]

Leander Prewett x f!MC + exhibitionism?

Exhibitionism - Leander Prewett X F!MC

🔥NSFW 🔞 MDNI

Warnings: fwb, exhibitionism (but sorta not), mentions of many kinky acts, hickeys, unprotected p-in-v, light nipple play, dirty talk

1.3k words

Leander knew this was likely one of the stupidest plans he’s ever had but he was determined to fulfill her fantasy of having sex somewhere risky during a quidditch game.

He couldn’t deny the idea had sounded rather hot to him when she’d first propositioned him. He was also determined to help her fulfill all her crazy fantasies in hopes that maybe one day they’d be more than friends with benefits with her.

The idea of having sex out in the open felt taboo but he still found the idea hot. A lot of the things she wanted to try with him were taboo. Like fucking in an empty classroom, getting fingered while in class, sucking him off during lunch in the great hall.

And that only covered the odd places she liked. Half of the times she’d ask him to try something new it would be something he wouldn’t have imagined in his wildest of fantasies.

Tying her up, gagging her with her underwear, spanking her till she was soaking wet then edging her with his fingers till she cries. The wildest to date was when she had him steal a candle so he could drip the hot wax across her breasts and ass before spanking the wax off and fucking her.

She’d taken him from an inexperienced virgin to a sex fiend in only a matter of months. All after a silly game of truth or drink where she admitted she wanted a FWB to try things out with and a bold moment after the game where he’d offered and she’d happily accepted.

But even now as he trudged across the pitch, putting every last ounce of his faith in the captain of his quidditch team that, though visible, they wouldn't be noticed if they used this specific space under the quidditch bleachers.

He met her there, doing his best to appear at ease even though the sight of people filling the bleachers had his stomach in anxious knots. The last thing he needed was to get caught having sex with her but he wanted to be the one helping her fulfill these fantasies so he could impress her.

He pulled her close, sitting down on a bench and having her straddle his lap, kissing her as he slid a hand under her robes to palm her breasts. Her back faced the ripped banner that exposed them as she sat on his lap and nipped at the skin under his ear.

He had scoped it out from the outside and knew that nobody would see in unless they were on a broom. Of course but even then, the players would be so focused on the game, quickly flying around, it was almost impossible for them to be caught.

He let himself give in to the pleasure as she sucked gently at his pulse point. It wouldn’t be the first hickey she’d given him but she always loved leaving her mark on him, even if he did use a spell to hide them every time she gave him another one.

She ground against him, his cock stiffening to attention in his pants as she kissed him and moved her beautiful body against him. He let himself get lost in the feeling of her as he stripped off her robe, letting it fall behind her.

He worked her clothes off one piece at a time stripping her down till all she wore was her stockings. He stood her up, taking his own robe, vest, and tie off, leaving his white shirt unbuttoned all the way down but still over his shoulders.

He put her into position, leaning her hands on the beams that had become exposed from the tear in the canvas that covered the support beams. She whimpered, looking out to see the crowds of people.

Leander chuckled at her whine. “Oh don’t tell me you’re all shy now…not after you told me how you wanted to be put on display while I fucked you so good.”

She shivered, making him chuckle from behind her. He undid his pants, pulling out his stiff erection and admiring her excitement flushed cheeks. She looked shy and innocent which was a total 180 from her usual bold, daring personality.

She was clearly nervous about this idea now that they got down to it but the wetness between her legs betrayed her, showing just how into it she was. He slid the head of his cock between her folds and she hummed pleasantly.

He put his hands on her hips, pushing forward into her tight heat, groaning as her pussy swallowed him. She was a wet little vice around his cock, causing him to tip his head back and savor each thrust.

He started at a casual pace, just enjoying her cunt slowly milking him and working up to a pace where their skin slapped together aggressively. She cried out shyly as his balls slapped against her clit.

He could tell she was holding back on making sounds, nervous that the flyers outside would hear her. At this point his nerves had calmed and he made it a mission to get her too worked up to care. He wanted to hear her as she came on his cock.

He leaned over to whisper in her ear, hand coming up to fist her hair and yank her head back. “Pretty slut, if you think I’m gonna let you cum without hearing you moan for me, you’re sadly mistaken. Everyone in these bloody stands better hear you when you cum for me.”

She cried out, pussy clamping down around him in excitement as he egged her on. He reached down to pinch her nipples as he filled her. “That’s right, you were the one who wanted to be a little exhibitionist slut, getting fucked by me for the whole school to see, hm?”

She clamped down again, her pussy fluttering and rippling around him. He knew any moment she would lose herself to the pleasure. “That’s right, moan my name for everyone to hear. Let everyone know whose cock you cum for the hardest. Who’s cum is gonna be dripping out of this cunt when you lay in bed tonight and relive this moment while you tease that sensitive little clit.”

She stood on her tiptoes, pussy clenching down around him as a loud cry erupted past her lips, her tits bouncing with every wild thrust into her. Her cries of his name were loud enough he was concerned maybe someone had heard her, but in this moment his only mission was to fuck her through this orgasm and fill her pussy with his load.

She rode out the orgasm, his thrust halting as he stilled inside of her and pumped her full of his essence. She could only mewl and weakly hang onto the beam in front of her as he filled her.

Once they’d come down from the high he pulled out of her and stepped back, helping her up and holding her close. She gave him a lazy smile, letting him hold her. “I gotta give you credit, Lee. I think this blew my expectations out of the water. I really thought you were going to tell me to stuff it with this one.”

Leander was very glad to hear her praise. He’d finally felt like he’d made it somewhere by impressing her. That was till the next day rumors of them hooking up were all over the school. Members of the Hufflepuff team and Slytherin team congratulated him till he finally pulled one aside and asked about the rumors. “Well, half the damn school heard you guys shagging yesterday. We just thought you guys had finally gotten together since you spent so much time together.”

He was mortified to face her after the news was all over school but when she finally cornered him at lunch and the first thing she did was lean in to kiss him, his heart felt like it would explode. “Hey there boyfriend, wanna go to the Three Broomsticks with my friends and I later and share a butterbeer?”

[thestalwartheart]

care

Rating: Mature/Explicit Words: 1,376 Relationship: James Bond/Q Tags: Hurt/comfort, PTSD, sex, allusions to cbt (and that scene in Casino Royale). Summary:

In bed, things don't go exactly to plan. Inspired by the following anon prompt I got from this list forever ago: one person turning the other off. [Read on AO3.]

Like most men, it’s right on the edge of an orgasm that Q lets slip his stupidest thoughts.

It’s even worse after he’s been denied, as he has been now. He and Bond have been in bed for an age. A long, languid, wonderful age full of teasing and laughing and kisses like treacle, as inescapable as the sticky tree sap Q had worked with in the lab last week.

And now Q is cresting, burning. Falling. He feels like he’s being entirely undone until—

Bond’s fingers circle like a vice around the base of Q’s cock, putting a vicious and immediate stop to the wave overcoming him. Q makes a sound that, in the light of day to come, he will never ever admit to making.

“I’ll have your balls for that,” Q gasps, incensed. “I should have brought a whip. I’ve got one, you know.”

(Never mind that he’d got it as a gag gift when he was promoted to Quartermaster — from Tanner, of all people — and that, even if Q had any real intention of using it, the thing probably holds no sting at all. Bond needn’t know that.)

Q expects a joke in turn. At the very least, a pithy comment. A sounds delightful, or a you’re welcome to try your hardest, darling, but Bond says nothing. It takes a moment for Q’s brain to return to full awareness, and when it does, something doesn’t quite feel right.

Q is no agent, but he hopes he’s considerate enough in bed that he knows when his partner is having a bad time. Bond is doing a very good impression of someone who wants to keep calm and carry on, but there’s a tightness in his that Q is only used to seeing after very bad missions and in meetings with Mallory that aren’t going his way. Never has he looked like this in bed. At least, not in the dozen or so times he’s occupied the same one as Q.

“Ah. Was that terribly unfunny?” asks Q. “I suppose cock and ball torture is a bit of a niche subject for comedic relief. The crown jewels are probably in enough danger out in the field.”

“Yes,” replies Bond carefully. His hand lets go of Q.

There’s a look Bond usually gets when they talk about things to try in bed. It’s a cheeky, heated spark that usually sets Q’s brain (as well as one other, far less cerebral organ) into overdrive. After all, Bond has an extensive back catalogue of lovers and, at nearly forty, Q’s no blushing maiden either. So the look happens fairly often, and it usually leads to an hour or so of furious passion where they try to outdo their own imaginations or memories as much as each other.

That look is nowhere to be found now, which must mean—

Oh. Oh, God.

Q wonders if it was a mission, and if so, which one it was, and whether it was in bed or during some less overtly sexual horror show outside of it. Stupidly, he also wonders whether it was a woman or a man. Would that have mattered to Bond at the time? He imagines it probably didn’t — getting one’s cock and balls smashed to smithereens probably shuts down most higher brain functioning related to things like gender. The thought of it happening at all turns Q’s stomach. Even before they’d started sleeping together, he’d never been very good at witnessing Bond in agony.

Before he can move off Bond’s lap and ask any more questions, Q finds himself being flipped until he’s under a wall of muscle. Bond wastes no time in kissing a path down Q’s neck. It’s usually one of Q’s very favourite things, particularly now that Bond seems to have memorised every sensitive spot, but now, it’s a lost cause. The delicious burn of earlier has faded to ash.

“James—”

“Relax.”

The affected smoothness of that voice is nothing but a front. Q only knows it is because Bond never talks to him that way, not anymore.

“No. No, you’re upset.”

“I’m not.”

Q swears as Bond licks around his nipple. It feels much too pleasurable for the moment. “You are. I’ve upset you.”

“I don’t get upset.”

“Oh, bullshit. You have a tell, you know.”

Bond huffs incredulously into Q’s chest. “You’re hardly one to be talking about tells.”

“You don’t have to be good at hiding them to recognise one. And yours is—”

“Shut up, Q.”

Bond’s tongue snakes over his other nipple. At any other time, this would feel luscious. Now, it only provokes an unpleasant shiver.

“Stop. Just stop. I’m not…” Q can feel his cock lolling against his leg. He’s not even half-hard anymore. “I’d really rather talk about this.”

Bond looks up at him with a bit of cold steel in his eye. “I wouldn’t.”

“I understand that, but…”

He trails off as Bond sits up, his thighs framing Q’s skinny hips, and gives him an awful look — a kind of sardonic smile that speaks volumes about how much he thinks Q understands. Q’s mouth goes dry at the sight of it.

“No, you don’t.”

“All right, then. I don’t.”

Bond’s fingers dig in around his wrist, where they’ve been playing pleasantly since Bond flipped him over. It’s no longer very pleasant.

“You’re hurting me,” says Q, even though Bond isn’t, really. Not physically.

The pressure on his wrist abates. Bond looks towards the door, and Q thinks about all the times they’ve mapped exit points from missions gone wrong. He makes a sound low in his throat.

“Wait,” he says, shifting over so there is space to the right of him. “Here, just…I won’t make you talk about it, but I don't—”

I don't want you to leave.

“You don’t want to fuck me anymore.”

Q sighs. “There’s no need to pout. I’m sure my resistance will last all of fifteen minutes.”

Bond tries a smile and a quip about what danger MI6 will be in if Q is ever pressed for information, but his humour is short-lived. As he lies down beside Q, his muscles are tight. Q kneads at them gently, feeling the handful of bicep sitting in his palm; the mole on the meaty part of Bond’s shoulder blade, which, paired with the thin scar from a knife, forms the dot to a gruesome exclamation mark; the tight band of muscle stretching over the radius bone while Bond’s fist clenches in between his chest and Q’s.

One by one, Q loosens his fingers from that fist and twines them with his own.

He longs to say something helpful, but he isn’t sure anything he says would help at the minute, and Bond is a man who seems to prefer the language of touch. So he keeps his mouth shut and his fingers moving in slow motion and breathes a little sigh of relief when, eventually, Bond tilts his head forward and grunts into his shoulder.

“I don’t enjoy pain, Q. Not anywhere, but especially not there.”

“That’s fortunate, then. I don’t enjoy seeing you in pain.” With a touch to Bond’s bottom lip, Q whispers, “I apologise for the terrible joke. And it was just a joke. Unlike some people, I try to be gentle with the equipment in my care.”

“And I’m in your care, am I?”

Ah. Right. Q worries his lip between his teeth. They’ve never ventured this far into the realm of feelings and emotions. But there’s a smile tugging at the corners of Bond’s mouth, one that wouldn’t be there if he were completely allergic to the idea of Q caring for him.

“Perhaps since we sat down in front of that Turner painting,” says Q, feeling as if he’s standing on the edge of a rooftop. “Are you, erm—is that—?”

Q’s answer is a long, insistent kiss that Q feels down to his toes. A few very pleasurable hours later, it’s also a “thank you” whispered in the dark that Q isn’t sure he was meant to hear at all.

He presses a kiss to Bond’s shoulder and makes a mental note to throw out the whip hidden at the back of the bedroom cupboard.

[vallikes79]

Meet my oc Bandoah! Who’s main gag is that he’s serious and a hard working mechanic at the rainbow factory, but he has the stupidest shirts imaginable. Also I really just made him to ship with Rf Wally bc he’s a guilty pleasure, but ended loving him

[paunchsalazar]

I have read a lot of Ouran High School Host Club in the last few days… as a bored queer 23 year old now and it is so good… i kind of wish I read this as a kid although I’m sure it would be a whole different experience.

I don’t know!!! i think that the characters grow so much as it goes on and while it is stupid and silly it only gets more sincere?? I can’t think of a better way to put it

It is still a satire, it embraces tropes, it subverts them? it winks at you and yet it feels more snd more grounded as it goes on! I feel like absolutely everyone starts as a caricature and gains depth… in terms of the way they’re written? but also in-universe - this is haruhi’s first year of high school, this is a group getting to know each other better, of course there’s more to everybody and it can be such a lovely surprise (it’s all a good experience!! Tamaki says this) and people are funny!!

of course it was 2002 but idk as I read on it felt like there were a lot of places where I thought it would go for the lowest joke or disappoint lol, garner an eye roll, but I feel like it improves as it goes on but is never cruel? again, what starts as a one off gag might be given surprising depth? affection? everyone starts as a caricature anyway and gets a little more to them every time. and i feel like the joke is never on queer people… there are canonical queer characters that are loved and interesting!!! and even at its stupidest I am reminded that they are high schoolers?

idk I think a group of 15-17 year olds will learn so much and they already do during this very long school year lol. they are having epiphanies all the time. regarding really obvious shit… these are their first real friends, they just figured out they could be themselves even a little… they’re learning to be honest with others and with themselves, only now have the words for things. they already learn so much and look back thinking they’re stupid. they grow and want to grow and only seem like they’ll continue to. idk like I cannot fathom a world where Tamaki rejects anyone, even if he makes an ass of himself at times. people are stupid!! our worlds keep expanding, at a rapid rate at such an age, so much of this is new…

perhaps all of that is to say that it is (in my opinion) rather friendly to a queer reading… I really think that some of those characters are gay. it’s just so! and they’ll figure that out and I can’t imagine any sort of discovery being met with anything but compassion. they will realize stuff and visualize it with beautiful motifs and their worlds will keep expanding. As it goes on it feels like something of a love letter to making real friends and being yourself and being accepted for it. this story feels so loving!!! it loves friendship so much, it is a found family story at its core and it’s full of a lot of kindness

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 324: Is There a Force Field Around Him??

Previously on BnHA: Flashback!Rat Principal was all “please tell Midoriya that I spent a concerningly small amount of money upgrading U.A. into a wacky physics-defying funtime grid so as to make the final battle much more confusing for everyone.” Present Day!Mic (or Present!Mic, if you will) and Jeanist were all “if only somebody could deescalate this dangerously unhinged mob, we’ve tried nothing and we’re all out of ideas.” Ochako was all “LISTEN UP PEOPLE.” The mob was all, “god??” Ochako was all, “NO, IT’S ME, OCHAKO. I’M REALLY HIGH UP ON THIS BUILDING AND THE VISIBILITY IS LOW DUE TO THE RAIN, SO I CAN SEE HOW YOU MIGHT MAKE THAT MISTAKE. ANYWAYS, DEKU WAS OUT THERE RISKING HIS LIFE FOR YOU CLOWNS EVEN THOUGH HE’S JUST A KID, SO I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IF YOU COULD ALL REMEMBER HOW TO BE DECENT HUMAN BEINGS, THANKS.” Let’s see if her Big Scolding Energy has any impact.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “so I have this speech planned out, and it’s really good, but it also only really needs about 6 to 8 pages, but I’m gonna see if I can stretch it out to 17 pages so I can kill time before we get to the next volume cliffhanger two weeks from now.” Anyway but it really is a good speech though. There are feels, and tears, and more talk about how Deku is so in need of a shower that just looking at him requires a tetanus booster, and more feels, and more tears, and bonus ship drama, and an iconic callback to the very first chapter which reframes the entire series in a new context in a totally epic and moving way, and it’s all very good. Except that Horikoshi is determined to never let anyone actually give this kid a hug. Who hurt you, dude.

omg we are opening on a callback to chapter 212, a.k.a. the chapter with by far the cutest flashback that doesn’t involve any baby Todorokis

baby Ochako is lethally cute. she could literally murder someone with her cuteness. I just want to scoop her up and play airplane with her until she accidentally activates her quirk while we’re spinning around and we both helicopter up into the air never to be seen again

“a child’s insistence” huh well that’s all well and good, but I sure hope this doesn’t mean we’re going to drag out the whole “sternly lecture the obnoxious citizens” plot for another whole chapter. no offense but I think we’re good

so page 2 is just continuing the whole happy/worried faces monologue, which of course is very important to Ochako’s character as it provides the context for why “who protects the heroes” ended up becoming her thing. and this is making me think we actually are in for a whole second chapter of this sob. when will my boy finally get to rest

OH MY GOD SUDDENLY THESE PEOPLE HAVE EYES IMAGINE THAT

HORIKOSHI: [reaches for a box of tissues while tearfully penning an homage to his beloved Spider-Man 2, specifically the train scene where the crowd sees Peter without his mask and they suddenly realize just how young he is]

HORIKOSHI’S HOMAGE SCENE: “COME TO THINK OF IT, I GUESS IT WAS KIND OF MEAN FOR US TO PICK ON THIS TEN YEAR OLD KID WHO WEIGHS 75 POUNDS AND LOOKS LIKE HE LOST A FIGHT WITH SATAN’S MOLDY OLD BASEMENT”

lol at this one guy who can feel the mood of the crowd shifting and is all “WAIT, NO, I WANTED TO KEEP BEING AN ASSHOLE DAMMIT”

as many pointed out last week, this man is wearing an All Might shirt. that’s some fantastic irony there

-- SDKFJWIGKS

“LITTLE GIRL, I HOPE YOU’RE NOT SUGGESTING THAT WE SHOULD ALL BE WALKING AROUND DRESSED LIKE A SOVIET-ERA BUS STOP.” heh. last week I said I was ashamed of BnHA being my favorite manga. that was a lie, actually

(ETA: in the original Japanese Ochako’s next two lines are basically “the only ones covered in mud will be us heroes!” followed by “please give us some time to get rid of the mud”, with that second line basically being the single funniest thing I’ve ever read rdslkjl. Ochako thank you so much for supporting my running gags. “YEAH WE KNOW HE’S DIRTY. WE ARE GONNA TRY AND CLEAN HIM UP, BUT IT MAY TAKE A WHILE, I’M JUST SAYING. I MEAN LOOK AT HIM. HE LOOKS LIKE AN ASBESTOS COSPLAY.”)

doesn’t the megaphone kind of look ever so slightly like an axe that she’s wielding maniacally here

easy there Lizzie Borden

also that’s a really bold claim to make there. and not one she necessarily should have to make, either. but as we all know, there’s nothing that shounen manga likes more than having its heroes bravely hoist heavy burdens of responsibility like good self-sacrificing citizens

p.s. lowkey loving how Kacchan is positioned here standing slightly behind Deku. not presuming to stand in front of him all overprotectively (because he would hate if anyone ever did that to him), and kind of being unobtrusive and letting others take center stage -- but still being close enough to Deku that he can catch him if he stumbles or passes out again

(ETA: or maybe not lmao.

DEKU: [falls to his knees]

KACCHAN: [glancing up from his phone a few minutes later] “someone just sent me the stupidest meme about milk crates -- oh. uh. you good...?”

really, son. “the burdens you can’t carry, we’ll carry them for you. ...later, I mean. right now it’s late, and we’re all cold and wet.”)

also lowkey loving this OchaTsu moment here

I was going back and binging Ochako chapters this past week for reasons, and I gotta say it really stuck out to me just how often these two are paired with each other. they do everything together. it’s a really sweet friendship that often goes unappreciated but it’s very cute

meanwhile, not to be outdone by the OchaTsu, Iida is staring at Ochako with open admiration talking about how she’s fighting too. it’s been so long since we’ve had any IidaRaka you guys. I was starving and I didn’t even know it

oh my lord IT’S FINALLY HAPPENING

THE LIGHT IS BACK. he finally looks like him again. what a cathartic fucking moment omg

ffklkdw

“I KNOW YOU ARE ALL SCARED, BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS, WE DEFINITELY CANNOT GUARANTEE YOUR SAFETY AND WE ARE ALL SCARED TOO!” good pep talk there kiddo

BUT, jokes aside, truth be told this is the exact right approach to take imo, and something that’s long overdue. I’ve said this before, but this new generation of heroes is shaping up to be much more transparent than the All Might generation. they’re basically abandoning the almighty, untouchable Superman “heroes as gods” concept in favor of the more nuanced “heroes as people” concept instead. and that’s a good thing. seeing their heroes as humans, with human limitations and weaknesses and flaws, will hopefully not only lead to more scrutiny and accountability, but also more awareness of how hard some of them are working and how much they’re sacrificing. that’s something All Might never quite grasped back at the start of the series -- that the weak, vulnerable, injured him could be just as inspiring as the mighty, invincible him -- perhaps even more so. there’s a power in seeing otherwise ordinary people show extraordinary bravery and compassion. it inspires others to try and do the same

SSDLHK AIZAWA SIGHTING AAHHHHHH

so he was still back at the hospital this whole time?? smdh at this disrespect. that feeling when your sexy self-insert character’s powers of rationality are too strong, and so you have to nerf him so that he doesn’t ruin your Deku Angst arc twice over by (1) immediately talking some sense into Deku and making him come home Right This Instant Young Man, and (2) not allowing him to leave U.A. in the first fucking place. excuse me, you want to do WHAT now, Midoriya?? that’s it, go to your room

also living for Katsuki and Hawks’s soft expressions. Shouto’s too, although his is tinier and harder to see. and Jeanist’s 12-foot-long neck. imagine Jeanist’s head with Mic’s hair. maybe Jeanist had a mohawk back in the day and that’s why U.A.’s doors are so big now

speaking of soft faces, Enji’s is also excellent

what could this random close-up possibly imply?? hell if I know. but Horikoshi truly fears no discourse and that’s what I love about him

OMGGGG

“smh my child is so dumb.” poor Ochadad. your child is cute af count your blessings

SDOFFHSMH

I’m telling you guys. lethally, catastrophically cute

this speech is still ongoing lol. Horikoshi you’re doing so good but I think we get the point now my dude. you gotta learn how to transition out of these things

UNEXPECTED TOGA WHAT

“there we go” Horikoshi says, crossing off the last line on his list of Ochako ships. “that’s all of ‘em”

poor Ochako is just repeating the same “LET HIM REST, PLEASE, WITH EVERYONE’S COOPERATION, IF YOU DON’T MIND, WE APPRECIATE IT” talking points over and over again hoping someone will throw her a bone and acknowledge her already. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP HER

literally they’re all just staring up at her silently omg. work with me people!!

now she’s saying it for the 56th time but more dramatically all of a sudden

they got so dramatic that for a minute I thought she had suddenly leaped off the building or something

look, not to rush you or anything Horikoshi, but I’m starting to get the feeling that this is yet another one of those “the volume is ending soon so I need to either hurry things up or slow things down in order to make sure we end it on my perfect cliffhanger ending” chapters where you go to ridiculous lengths to drag things out much to the exasperation of your week-to-week readers

(ETA: ftr, volume 31 ended on chapter 306, and I’m predicting that vol. 32 will end with chapter 316 (a.k.a. “you’re next!” [explodes]). I’m guessing vol. 33 will follow suit and likely end on chapter 326, so keep your eyes peeled for a big cliffhanger in two weeks’ time. Deku’s dad?? All Might in peril?? U.A. traitor at long fucking last?? we shall see.)

is Deku straight up falling in love with Ochako right on the spot lol what is happening

I know I just said that I enjoy when Horikoshi gives zero fucks about discourse, but shipping discourse is a whole different beast lol. I hope he’s prepared

(ETA: and for the record, I have no interest in shipping discourse either, as always. and I think this scene can be interpreted as platonic, tbh, with the context being that Ochako was literally introduced as someone who was willing to help him so casually without a second thought, and now here she is saving him again.

I don’t think it really fully hit Deku until this moment how much he needed saving. like I said in another meta somewhere, selflessness is basically just selfishness on behalf of others. and Deku is selfless to a fault, but that’s okay, and it doesn’t mean he needs to change -- he just needs friends who are willing to be be selfish on his behalf in turn. and I think the full emotion of what it means to have friends like that just hit him at last. everything his friends have done for him, how much he needed it and didn’t even realize, and how grateful he is. anyways what a terrible day for rain.)

-- son of a --

is he apologizing?? or pleading?? please tell me that’s not the case, because what the actual fuck. Deku you beautiful precious radiant selfless child, this is the exact opposite of how this should be. all these motherfuckers should be on their knees apologizing to you

DEKU WHY

I DIDN’T ASK FOR THIS FREAKING BOMBARDMENT OF EMOTIONS GODDAMIT. OUT HERE ARMED WITH YOUR FREAKING TREBUCHET OF FEELS TO LAUNCH AT ME UNPROVOKED. WHAT’S WITH THAT

FREAKING CHRIST. THIS BOY IS CRYING HIS EYES OUT AND HORIKOSHI IS JUST ZOOMING IN WITH THE CAMERA, LIKE CAN WE JUST CUT HIM A BREAK ALREADY. ENOUGH OF THIS. HE’S SO YOUNG AND HE TRIES SO HARD AND I JUST NEED HIM TO FEEL SAFE, HORIKOSHI PLEASE CAN YOU JUST GIVE ME THAT ALREADY WHAT IS THE FREAKING HOLD UP!!

GIGANTIC FOX LADY!!!

GIGANTIC FOX LADY PLEASE BE MY HUGGER BY PROXY!! SERIOUSLY GIRL IF YOU JUST HOLD YOUR UMBRELLA OVER HIM OR SOMETHING AND DON’T GO THE EXTRA MILE I’M ABOUT TO LODGE AN OFFICIAL COMPLAINT. THIS IS GETTING RIDICULOUS NOW

!!!!

A KOUTA IS GOOD TOO!!! oh my god if Kouta hugs him I will seriously 100% straight up cry. go on and test me

FOR THE LOVE OF --

is this man expressly forbidden from drawing hugs in his contract or something. DO YOU DO IT JUST TO SPITE ME?? this is tyranny, sir

AND I KNOW, THIS PAGE ACTUALLY CHALLENGED THE VERY PREMISE OF THE SERIES ITSELF, AND HERE I AM COMPLAINING ABOUT HUGS, OR THE LACK THEREOF. “this is the story of how we all became the greatest heroes.” and just like that, he waves a polite middle finger at all of the Strongest Greatest Chosen One shounen protags of old, in favor of something much less conventional, much more interesting, and much more suited to Deku’s character. because if that one sentence doesn’t just sum up Deku to a T. he gladly relinquishes his Greatest Hero status in favor of acknowledging the hero in everyone. what a class act. that’s my protagonist

I love this kid so fucking much I swear. only just PLEASE. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. GIVE HIM HIS HUG

[el-jarado]

Look, I imagine Caitlyn doesn’t wear her LoL hat in Arcane because it’s not really appropriate to the style she’s projecting as “young Caitlyn, no-nonsense rookie” (and the fact her hat just doesn’t tend to make it into adaptations because it’s too silly), but that doesn’t necessarily mean the hat doesn’t still exist. 

I personally think it would be a fantastic running gag in season 2 if Caitlyn at some point wears her hat, discovers “Vi thinks it is the stupidest thing she has seen in her entire life” and “Vi loves it” can be true at the same time, and must now exist in the special hell of the girl she’s caught feelings for refusing to let her live down her incredibly silly hat. 

[jonkentt]

can’t spell handsome without Sam...

Ao3

Sam and Bucky are sitting at the end of the dock. Bucky’s absently swinging his legs over the water and looking at the horizon.

“So this cute guy gave me his number while I was at the cornerstore just now,” Sam says.

“Yeah? Captain America fanboy?” Bucky seems disinterested.

“If he was he didn’t say.” Bucky grunts noncommittally. “He seemed chill actually. Cute too.”

“You mentioned that already.”

“I think I’ll call him.”

“Really?”

Sam shrugs and keeps his tone light. “Yeah, I mean why not? Could be fun.”

“Sure.” Bucky deadpans. “Go for it.”

“You think so?”

Bucky turns to Sam then, incredulous. “No!” he snaps. As if Sam just said the stupidest thing imaginable. Sam bites back a laugh.

“Oh? I’m a grown man, I’m capable of choosing who I date.”

“We’re talking about dating now? Just some random groupie?” Bucky’s getting worked up now and Sam is enjoying himself immensely. “He could be a creep, Sam! A grown dumbass is what you are.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah, it is.”

“Feels like you’re projecting here, Buck. You have some social insecurities you wanna talk about?”

Bucky scoffs. “I’m not the socially inept one here, Sam. So he just saw you over the snack aisle and handed you his number on a napkin? The guy could get to know you first.”

“That’s literally the point of sharing a phone number, Bucky. But I guess you wouldn’t know that since you can’t even reply to a text.”

“That is not what we’re talking about.”

“No, you were just saying I’m not fine enough to pick up guys over the snack aisle.”

“Don’t be absurd, I would never say that! You’re fine as hell and anyone that says otherwise is a fucking idiot because you literally can’t spell handsome without Sam.” Sam guffaws.

“Can’t spell—? Jesus, Bucky, your flirting is a disaster.”

“Well you’re such a jerk, you should be grateful you have me to flirt with!”

“I’m about ready to find someone else!”

“Good fucking luck! No one’s going to adore you more than I do!”

“Well ask me out yourself then!”

“I will!”

“Fine.”

“Fine!”

Bucky gets up and storms off. Sam gives him till the end of the dock but clearly that was putting too much faith in Bucky. He stomps at least another ten paces before freezing mid-step. Bucky slowly lowers his boot and a peel of laughter does escape Sam then. He tries to pull himself together as Bucky backtracks but his shoulders are still shaking with suppressed laughs when Bucky plops down beside him again. This time Bucky doesn’t leave room for personal space. Sam snorts.

“You made that up didn’t you. Wanna go on a date with me that bad, huh?”

“First of all, I absolutely did not make that up—“

“No one says ‘cornerstore,’ Sam, I don’t think those even exist anymore.”

“And second of all, you’re the one who wants to date me. You’ve been pining so much I feel bad for your sorry ass.” Bucky raises an eyebrow. “But now that we both know, you don’t have to be embarrassed about asking me out.”

“Golly, you’re a real hero, Sam.”

“I know it.”

Bucky swings his legs onto Sam’s lap and wraps his arms around Sam’s neck. He leans in real close and says in a husky voice, “So will you go on a date with me?” Sam holds his gaze, dragging out the silence, his eyes still sparkling with amusement.

“Nah.”

“I thought you felt bad for me?”

“Not that bad.”

Bucky narrows his eyes. Sam is unfazed by Bucky’s murder glare. He wraps his arms around Bucky’s waist and grins like a challenge. Then Bucky throws his weight off the edge of the dock and takes Sam with him.

Bucky is already cackling when Sam’s head breaks the surface, spitting out water. “You—!” Sam lunges for him but Bucky’s faster. He dodges and sends a wave of water into the side of Sam’s face. Bucky swims circles around Sam, throwing water at him from every direction. Sam gets a couple successful splashes at Bucky but ends up just trying to shield his face while laughing uncontrollably. “Man, stop—!” Another wave of water catches Sam in the mouth. He gags at the grimy taste on his tongue and hears Bucky tease him. Another splash. “Cut it out!”

Sam’s smiling so hard his cheeks hurt and finally Bucky relents. He swims closer and when Sam has finished scrubbing water out of his eyes, Bucky is right in front of him, grinning. Sam laughs as he wraps his legs around Bucky’s waist.

“Let me make you dinner.”

“Yeah, alright.” They’re both grinning goofily at each other and Sam runs his hand through Bucky’s wet hair.

“Don’t worry,” Bucky says seriously. “I won’t forget you’re only doing this out of pity.” Sam hums his agreement.

“Well, no one else could put up with you for so long.”

“Careful, Wilson. That almost sounded like you like me.”

Sam cups Bucky’s face and looks at him fondly. He watches a droplet of water slide down Bucky’s cheek and get caught in the crook of his smile.

“Maybe I do. Just a little.” Sam leans in and kisses Bucky tenderly. Bucky kisses him back.

[nkhrchuwuya]

Lmao, I could just imagine all the embarrassing stuff Chuuya says/ does to his s/o while drunk. Like imagine him trying to tipsy finger you whilst saying the CORNIEST shit. Also at a club, I can imagine him like grinding on you on the dance floor, but in a drunk way. Also the amount of bar fights he gets into.

Alsoooo, I can imagine Chuuya trying vodka for the first time at the sheep, and he’s trying to act all cool but can’t help but gag and make the stupidest face at the taste.

ahaha yeah i can see that! the sheep definitely got into things they shouldn't at that tender an age. this is a scene from something else i'm writing, but just imagine them finding some bottle of alcohol and passing it around like some rite of passage on that day. just kids being kids- whoever backs out is a loser. (and chuuya will be damned before he's called one lol)

as for drunk chuuya.... i see what you mean, but in my head careless drunk chuuya is on the younger side. maybe 17-19? and he did all the shenanigans. he's gotten banned from certain bars/clubs, gotten into a fistfight with a bouncer, maybe fucked the bartender to get an extra drink- just, careless drunk chuuya living his life.

trying so hard right now not to ride the metaphorical "chuuya is the perfect s/o" dick but i believe as he's grown up with alcohol he just gets a better relationship with it over time, lightweight and all. i mean sure there are times (usually social) where the need to drink and drink arises but on his own i like to think he takes the time to truly treasure each sip and the ~feeling~ it gives him.

if we're talking sexy drunk chuuya though, he's 10x the bigger dirty talker after having the lightest bit of alcohol. for sure.

[thatringboy]

Sea of Thieves - TWST AU

Based off of @ihavebecomeapenguin‘s Role Swap AU where the First year gang and their respective dorm heads all swap years! This is my second attempt at writing this fic, so I hope you enjoy!

Word count: 2,130 (another record???)

Warnings: Cursing, fight scenes, Azul Angst because this is chapter three

Getting the leader of Savanaclaw to agree with their plan was easy enough for Yuu Prefect. Jack seemed to have the idea in his head that he was obligated to help the Ramshackle student because of how the recent overblot incident went down. Yuu didn’t dislike the help they were receiving, but Jack’s insistence that they slept in his dorm while Yuu fought to get Ramshackle back from the Octavinelle leaders was a little much.

However, convincing their new friend Leona would be a much more difficult ordeal.

“That has got to be the stupidest plan I’ve ever heard.”

“Well I don’t see you coming up with any ideas! I’ve only got a few hours left!” Yuu leaned against the door as Leona flipped the page on his magazine.

“It’s not really my problem, Herbivore.” He sighed and adjusted how he laid on his bed. “What could I do?”

Yuu stood up straight. “What’s wrong with you? You were all up for raiding the vault before, what’s changed now?”

Leona shut the magazine and tossed it aside, crossing his arms and sitting deeper into his pillows. “I don’t know, maybe I’m just tired of getting my ass handed to me by walking sushi!”

Grim snorted on Yuu’s shoulder, but the Prefect was not amused. “It’s a shame, really,” they began, “Think about how people will react when they hear that the second prince of the Afterglow Savanna turned his back on his friend. What would your nephew think of that?”

Yuu knew they struck a chord deep within Leona. He was on his feet in an instant and if looks could kill, Yuu would be dead where they stood. The beastman scowled at the human before him. “Fine, but we do this my way. Your plans suck.”

Yuu’s face formed a mischievous smile. Azul Ashengrotto had crossed a line and by the Seven there would be hell to pay. Oh yes, everything was coming together nicely.

~~~

Riddle paced back and forth and twiddled his thumbs while Trey cleaned his glasses again.

“I have a bad feeling about this--”

“You always have a bad feeling.” Trey put his glasses back on.

“No, seriously! What if Trappola-Senpai finds out that we’re gone? What if we’re too late? What if Leona doesn’t agree to help the Prefect? What if we’re caught out of bed? What if--”

Trey held up a hand. “Riddle, please. Everything is gonna be ok. Just breathe and let the chips fall where they may. Speaking of which...”

The mirror to Savanaclaw lit up and four people stepped out. Leona and Yuu approached the Heartslabyul first years while Ruggie and Jack hung back, already filled in.

As Yuu explained the plan, Riddle’s nervousness slipped away. That is, until his part in the operation was explained.

“You want us to do what?” Riddle’s eyebrows shot up.

Leona smirked. “What, you scared or something?”

“N-No!” He turned bright red. “I just don’t know if I have the skills to pull this off.”

Trey put a hand on his shoulder. “You’ll do fine.”

“Thank you, Trey.”

Grim gagged, the anemone on his head wobbling. “Ew! Get a room, you two!”

Leona reached over and flicked the blue appendage. “Shut up, be glad they’re here.”

Yuu rolled their eyes. “So, then everyone knows their parts? Good, then we can get going. The sooner we finish this, the better.”

The first years nodded and passed around the potion that would allow them to breathe underwater. Jack and Ruggie disappeared back into their dorm’s mirror while Yuu and company approached the dark mirror.

In a second, they found themselves in the Coral Sea near the Alantica Memorial Museum. As per usual, a merman guard was posted outside the door. The group looked around for the infamous Leech twins and swam towards the building when they saw that the coast was clear.

Yuu might have had their iconic resting bitch face plastered for their friends to see, but the fact that no one had tried to stop them yet worried the Prefect. Trey swam ahead of the group and approached the guard while the others took cover behind a rock. Yuu could hear Trey spit out a convincing lie about wanting to explore the Museum, only to be denied by the guard. Of course, this was expected and Trey struck up a conversation between the guard, giving a small signal that it was okay for his friends to make a break for the door.

They swam behind the guard while he was distracted and pulled at the entrance, only to discover that it was locked. Leona rolled his eyes and pushed up his sleeve, activating his Unique Magic.

“I am hunger, I am thirst, I am that which steals your tomorrow. Now kneel before me, Kings Roar.”

The door handle turned to sand and he pulled the door open, earning a glare from Riddle. They swam inside the door while Trey continued to keep the attention of the guard. Yuu had to admit Trey’s ability to lie on cue was unsettling, but not unwelcomed.

Finding the picture Yuu risked their dorm for wasn’t a hard task. However, they’d forgotten that the only other reasonable person was still outside sweet talking the guard, so you can imagine how Yuu felt when Riddle took his magic pen and smashed the glass casing around the photo without a second thought.

An alarm went off somewhere in the building and it occurred to Yuu that the last time they were here, there were two guards. A Merman in armor swam around the corner and almost called for backup, but Leona gave him a swift kick to the head and knocked him out.

Maybe hanging around with himbos isn’t such a bad thing. Yuu thought to themself. They almost laughed at the mental image of calling Leona a himbo, but remained focused on the situation at hand. The four swam back out of the Museum and signaled for Trey to wrap up the conversation that he was way too invested in.

They made their escape and began to swim back to the mirror spot, but two dark shadows in the water blocked their path. The Leech brothers eyed the photo in Riddle’s hand with amusement and smiled, calculated toothy grins. Floyd’s voice ripped through the cold water and sent chills down the spines of the first years.

“That doesn’t belong to you, Shrimpy-Chan~”

~~~

Azul watched the first years sneak through the mirror and instructed the twins to give them an hour to retrieve the photo. What he hadn’t seen was the Savanaclaw leadership watching him from their respective mirror.

The Octomer returned to the Mostro Lounge and felt that the establishment lack a certain atmosphere, but then remembered that the Leech twins were off preparing to collect on his most recent contract. He kept himself busy and waved the twins off when they departed, but found his tasks boring when they left.

The Lounge didn’t open for a few minutes, but Azul could see a line forming outside. He grabbed a first year from Scarabia that he had enslaved was helping out that day and positioned him to be the host. The doors opened and Azul noticed that a large amount of customers were from Savanaclaw, but thought nothing of it.

He returned to the VIP room and checked his phone for messages before sitting down behind his large desk. Azul looked over the papers on his desk and noticed that jade had dropped off collateral on a recent contract. Azul spun around in his chair like a supervillain - which he privately enjoyed doing - and stood to open his vault. He had barley cracked the door open when a first year from his own dorm stepped into the VIP room looking distressed.

“What could possibly be so important that you come in here unannounced?”

“It’s a mad house out there, Senpai!” The first year was out of breath,

“Excuse m--”

“There’s too many of them, we can’t keep serving them!”

“Show me.”

Azul followed the first year out to the Lounge’s restaurant area and stopped. Those students from Savanaclaw who were crowding the door? They had taken up every seat! They were yelling and cursing out his waiters and throwing glasses and sending back food they deemed inedible! And of course, the smug faces of Ruggie Bucchi and Jack Howl leaned against the door frame without a care in the world.

“Mister Howl, what is the meaning of this?” Azul tried his hardest not to scream in frustration.

“That’s Howl-Senpai to you, tentacles!” Ruggie snickered.

“I haven’t the slightest idea what you mean.” Jack had a smug expression.

Someone called Azul’s name from the kitchen and yelled that they needed assistance. Jack’s smile turned sinister. “That sounds urgent, you wouldn’t want to upset your customers, would you?”

Azul’s face burned red as he struggled not to explode on them. After all, he had a reputation; one bad day couldn’t ruin that. But he did find it suspicious that this happened as soon as the twins had left. Azul returned to the kitchen and kept his eye on the Savanaclaw leaders until he stepped behind the swinging door, narrowly running into a Heartslabyul student carrying a tray of tea.

Once he was gone, Jack nodded to Ruggie and the second year made a break for the VIP room. Phase one was complete.

~~~

If this was any other circumstance, Yuu would say that the eels swimming around them was majestic. However, in this moment, Yuu struggled not to show fear.

“What should we do with the little Shrimpy and Koebe-Chan and Lionfish and their little friends, Jade?” Floyd’s nicknames for them made Riddle flush.

“I don’t know, what if you gave them a squeeze?” Jade swam a little too close to Leona and almost got slashed across the face by long nails. Yuu looked to the Heartslabyul duo and nodded. The two had their pens out in a flash and went back to back. This part of the plan required concentration and almost perfect timing. If one of them messed up, they may just become fish food.

Floyd caught on to what they were doing. “Hah! What, is little Koebe-Chan going hit me with his little necklaces?”

Riddle turned even more red, but surprisingly didn’t lash out. Yuu looked over for a second and noticed that Trey was holding his hand to keep him calm. Yuu turned their attention back to Jade as Leona swiped at him again. Leona attempted to fire a bolt of magic at him, but Jade was too quick, easily avoiding and laughing at the attempt.

Yuu grabbed Leona’s sleeve. “Floyd’s magic! We can’t touch them!”

Leona swung his head around, smacking Grim in the face with his ponytail, and snarled at Trey and Riddle. “Hurry up, goddamnit!”

Riddle broke his concentration and glared at Leona. “I’m doing my best you useless pussy!”

Trey and Yuu made eye contact and knew that the plan was falling apart. Trey rolled his eyes and pointed his wand at Floyd. “Oh for the Seven!”

He activated his Unique Magic and suddenly Floyd’s smile fell. His multi colored eyes widened with rage and Trey gulped. “Riddle, now!”

Riddle spun around and pointed his pen at Floyd as well. “Don’t tell me what to do! Off with your head!”

The all too familiar clicking sound could be heard and Floyd grabbed at his neck. Riddle’s iconic neck lock was holding onto the merman and based on the violent thrashing from Floyd, it wasn’t budging. Floyd glared daggers into Riddle and lunged at him with a loud shriek, but Leona had crossed the distance between them and booted him in the side of the head.

“Floyd!” Jade rushed to his brother’s side and was relieved that Floyd was only knocked unconscious. He looked at the first years and down at the neck brace on his twin. “Just... go.”

They didn’t hesitate to swim back to the mirror spot and teleport back to Night Raven College. When they had finally caught their breath from swimming so fast, Riddle look down at his hands.

“I.... I just used my magic to harm an upperclassman. Leona, you kicked an upperclassman in the head!”

“Yeah and I’ll do it again.” Leona picked between his teeth with his pinky finger. Yuu looked at Trey. “So, how did you do that? The plan was for you two to cast that combo spell that Crowley showed you.”

Trey rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, I panicked and realized that my Doodle Suite might have been able to make Floyd-Senpai’s shield just not work.”

“Genius, even for a human like you!” Grim jumped onto the green haired boy’s shoulder with a smile.

“Thank you?”

“Don’t take that as a compliment!” Riddle squinted his eyes at Grim. Leona pulled out his phone and was amazed that it wasn’t dead. “So, Jack and Ruggie-Senpai should be done by now, should we head over to the Lounge?”

Yuu sighed and realized how tired they were. “Let’s.”

~~~

When he managed to get the last beastman out of his restaurant, Azul almost collapsed against the door. He got to his feet and almost stumbled back to the VIP room, but stopped dead in his tracks. His blood turned to ice and his glasses fell off his face. Azul made an undignified sound and spun around, discarding his glasses in his haste. He tore down the hall back to the Lounge, leaving the VIP room and the open, empty vault within.

Azul threw open the doors to the Lounge and saw Ruggie leaning against a wall, cleaning out his teeth with a toothpick.

“What have you done?!” Azul’s voice was nothing more than a hushed whisper.

Ruggie ignored him. “You know, I tried takoyaki for the first time today, it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.”

Azul turned a furious red. “You mangy beast! Where are they?!”

“Is that any way to talk to a classmate, Azul-kun?” Jack stepped out from behind a corner, a large stack of yellow papers in his hands. “I thought that you would have more tact.”

The Octavinelle student glared daggers into Jack’s soul. It was a little unsettling. The beastmen could just feel the anger seething out of him. Footsteps could be heard approaching the three.

“I can’t wait to see the look on that Octo-punk’s face when we give him the stupid photo!”

“I’ve never said anything bad against an upperclassman before, but I hope he looses it!”

“Like how you lost it with Floyd?”

“Shut up, or I’ll forcefully remove that anemone myself, you little beast!”

The first years turned the corner Jack was standing behind and stopped. Yuu held up a preemptive hand to stop any wise comments about Azul’s clearly enraged behaviour. With their other hand, they held out the photograph. “Here, so you can’t say we didn’t pull through our end of the deal.”

Azul just stared at the photo and began to laugh softly. “You... You think you’ve won? You steal my contracts, you destroy my Lounge and you bring me my photo to rub it in, huh? I see the twins have failed yet again.”

“Yet again?” Called a voice from down the hall. The students present turned their heads to see the human forms of the Leech brothers coming their way. Floyd still had Riddle’s neck lock on and held an ice pack to his temple.

Jade’s eyes looked Azul up and down. “It seems you’re the one who failed here.”

Azul scoffed. “Oh please, I gave you one task: keep them from returning the photo to me! You couldn’t even do that!”

Floyd stood up taller and took the ice pack away from his head. “You know, I don’t like that tone you’ve got. Makes me want to squeeze it out of you.”

Azul seemed to mentally backpedal. “Well, what I meant to say was--”

Jack waved the contracts in the air to get the mermen’s attention. “Do you want these or not?”

Azul’s anger turned to desperation. “Yes! Hand them over this instant!”

“No I don’t think I will.” Jack sneered. Yuu realized that he was just toying with Azul. They almost felt bad for the second year dorm head, but at the same time, he had enslaved over two hundred students simply because they wanted a cheat sheet for finals. Jack looked over the documents in his hand and passed them to Leona. “Do what you want, I just wanted to see him squirm.”

Leona gladly took the contracts and Yuu realized what he was about to do. They made no move to stop him, but Jade’s eyes opened uncharacteristically large.

“I am hunger, I am thirst, I am that which steals your tomorrow. Now kneel before me, Kings Roar!” 

The golden contracts crumbled into sand between his fingers. Azul shrieked again and fell to his knees, watching as Leona kicked the pile of sand at his feet to solidify that the papers were gone. Yuu looked to Grim and saw that the anemone on his head was gone, however the next sound Azul made got them to return their focus on the situation.

“You... you monsters!” Azul slowly got to his feet.

“Yeah what?” Grim grinned. “You gotta be a bit more specific.”

Leona rolled his eyes and turned to go. “C’mon, I’ve got practice to get to. I don’t wanna throw a pity party for that mess.”

Riddle raised his pen and the neck brace around Floyd vanished. He rubbed his neck and smiled at Riddle. “Thank you, Koebe-chan! No hard feelings for trying to eat you?”

Riddle made a disgusted face that Trey snorted at. Azul watched them start to leave with horror in his eyes. “No, wait! Fix this mess! Grim, I helped you pass your exam!”

“You also used me as a sponge!”

Floyd pursed his lips and crossed his arms. “You’re acting pretty lame right now, you know that right?”

Jade nodded and shrugged his shoulders. “Desperation isn’t a good look for you.”

Azul looked around for something, anything to make the situation better. Yuu sighed. “Azul, you did this to yourself. Now, if you excuse us--”

Azul got to his feet with a strange expression on his face. “Wait wait wait wait wait wait wait! I can turn this around! Just watch, I’m not boring at all!”

The door to the Mostro Lounge creaked open and a timid looking Scarabia student stepped out, patting his head where Yuu assumed an anemone had been resting. Azul reached out his hand and a small ball of light flew out of the chest of the poor student and into Azul’s. He stood up with a crazed smile and looked around the group as the Scarabia boy collapsed.

“See?! I may not be what I once was, but I am still leagues above you all!”

Leona groaned and spun around on his heels. “Okay, now you’re taking this too far--”

He was interrupted by Azul’s laugh and a snap of the second year’s fingers. Ruggie pushed Leona down and the ball of light Yuu assumed was Ruggie’s magic flew to Azul. Jack pulled out his staff and growled as he watched Ruggie faint.

“You’ll pay for that, Ashengrotto.” He snarled.

Azul’s laugh grew dark and menacing. “Oh really, Jack-Senpai?”  the title oozing off of his tongue like poison. “Why don’t you just lighten up and Dance with me!”

Jack dropped the staff and became rigid, but soon regained control of his body. Azul turned to Floyd, who’s eyebrows were furrowed in concentration. All of the commotion had drawn the attention of the other Octavinelle dorm residents, all of which fell prey to Azul’s greedy glare.

Yuu watched in horror as Azul absorbed the magic of every student who had unknowingly stepped into their worst nightmare, but it wasn’t over. Yuu looked Azul up and down and saw his purple gem becoming more clouded by the second.

Riddle noticed this too and raised his pen to stop the nonsense, but Trey tackled him out of Azul’s line of sight. It occurred to Yuu that if Azul got is hands on the magic of their friends, the fight would turn from bad to ugly.

Of course, as per usual, the coming tide was already among them. Jade dashed to put himself between the first years and the crazed Azul, but got smacked to the side by a large black tentacle that had formed from Azul’s cane.

The overblotting version of Azul stood over the first years, but while their friends saw the anger in those cold blue eyes, Yuu recognized loneliness and fear. This was by far the worst case of overblotting Yuu had seen when comparing the Heartslabyul and Savanaclaw incident together, and they had no idea what to do now.

[pastelpaperplanes]

Based off that ask about Anong Us, who in any of your kiddos would be the worst player? Who’s the best?

Satori: stares at the cameras the entire time and doesn’t do any of their fucking tasks, they’re the unofficial security guard

Envoy: Begs to use the buddy system, always winds up pairing himself with an imposter

Reiki: Does all her tasks at the speed of light and mains as red, she won’t play unless she’s red

Katydid: the stupidest imposter ever, will kill right in front of another and yet somehow stills get that person ejected

Datum: loosing his mind bc he can’t do the card swipe task

Razzmatazz: Spinning in circles in the meeting room having a blast

Mayfly: the best liar imaginable and the most calculated and ruthless imposter out there

Shamus: Gets booted every game for no reason other than the group cherishes that running gag. Shamus is a good sport about it but WHY

Snare: spends the entire time as imposter running through the vents. He likes the plant hat

Flug: by far the most vocal rage quitter imaginable, he will bully you in chat if you take yellow from him

Panzer: miraculously gets chosen as imposter everytime and hates it, unfortunately he’s rly good at that role tho and if you have him as a partner you’re sure to get pretty far, pair him with Mayfly and you don’t have a fucking chance

Paladin: is a little shit and spams the chat the whole time. He doesn’t even know that tasks are a thing

Cozen: buys as many of those mini crew mate members as he possibly can

Bunco: hardly know the difference between imposter and crew mate. The first one to get ejected nearly everytime next to shamus bc he asks ‘why do I have a murderous kill button I don’t like this’

Crusade: convinces everyone to name themselves as a different color than their main, chaos ensues and they’re having a blast destroying the chat

[cumaeansibyl]

obviously since you have already welcomed me i am going to ask about the stupidest idea you have ever had

“this is the stupidest idea i have ever had you’re welcome” (Good Omens, Aziraphale/Crowley)

among those in the fandom who believe that Aziraphale and Crowley had sex with humans, the most common pairings are Aziraphale with Oscar Wilde (because he has so many Wilde first editions) and Crowley with Freddie Mercury (because of the gag about all tapes left in a car for more than two weeks turning into Best of Queen)

naturally I decided that Aziraphale fucked Freddie Mercury and Crowley was furious about it and the Bentley started playing Queen songs to make fun of him 

This one is on hiatus because it was going in a direction of “everyone is embarrassed and upset for comedy purposes” which is not a form of comedy I enjoy, but I do like the first half where the comedy is mostly “Crowley is terrible at feelings and flips out about it.” I’ll figure out where it goes instead, at some point.

Crowley didn’t want to get out of the car. 

The Bentley’s cooling engine ticked at him, pointedly, but he refused to move. The world’s injustice hung heavily on his shoulders, and he suspected God had just laughed Herself off her throne.

He looked at the sign over the nightclub door again, sighed, and banged his head thrice on the steering wheel in his customary ritual to appease whatever supernatural forces kept doing things like this to him. The Bentley ticked again, tsk-tsk-tsk.

It just fucking figured that Freddie Mercury had picked up an angel in Heaven.

(Heaven is a real gay superclub in London and you can imagine how loud I screamed when I found that in my research.)

[thomothysdoodles]

1, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 14, 17, 18, 20, 23, 26, 17, 28, 31, 32, 35, 37, 38, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, 62, 63, 64, 65, 66, 67,, 68, 69, 70, 71, 73, 74, 75, 85, 86, 87, 88, 90, 92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 98

I am so sorry, I literally have no idea what came over me

Wow Lulu you really said ‘let’s ask this bitch EVERYTHING’. I love it tho lmao. Since it’s long imma put it under the cut tho

4. How did your elementary school teachers describe you?

“A pleasure to have in class, a bit lost in their mind, if they committed and focused more they’d excell but they settle for good grades”

From elementary to high school lol

5. Do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

I like soda cans

6. Pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

Somewhere between tomboy and grunge I think

8. Movies or tv shows?

Tv shows

9. Favorite smell in the summer?

Sunscreen and freshly baked bread

11. What do you have for breakfast on an average day?

A cup of milk with some cereal or biscuits. For the past month I’ve been following the keto diet tho, and I usually are some ricotta with peanut butter for breakfast

12. Name of your favorite playlist?

“Sad but vibing” lol

14. Favorite non chocolate candy?

Strawberry lollipops

17. Most frequently worn pair of shoes?

A black vans pair, I bought em in August but the left one already got a hole on the front ��

18. Ideal weather?

Cloudy but not too windy or cold. I just don’t like the sunlight in my face

20. Preferred place to write?

On my phone’s notes app lol, I’ve got almost two thousand notes in here

23. Strange habits?

I hide stuff in my room with no apparent reason. I’ve got money stashed around my room in four different points lol

26. Favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Given the chance, I like to race with my bike to get some refreshing wind

27. Favorite activity to do in cold weather?

Cozy up in a blanket and watch some tv

28. Five songs to describe you.

Karma— AJR

Ultimately— Khai Dreams

Putting a spin on Slow Dancing in the Dark— egg

Mars— YungBlud

Gotta be a Reason— Alec Benjamin

31. What outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

Black jeans, black sturdy boots, and a silly little hoodie lmao

32. Top five favorite vines?

‘DONT FUCK WITH ME, IVE GOT THE POWER OF GOD AND ANIME ON MY SIDE— AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA’

‘Let me see what you have!’ ‘A KNIFE!’ ‘NO!!!’

‘Hey bro, what do you wanna eat?’ (‘The souuuls of my enemies’) ‘A bagel’ (‘NOOO’) ‘..two bagels.’

FR E SH A VOCA DO

‘Two shots of vodka..’ *pours half a bottle of vodka*

35. Average time you fall asleep?

I am terrible at this. I love sleeping but I also love feeling ✨ unbothered ✨ doing whatever I want in the middle of the night. So, never before 3am usually

37. Suitcase or duffel bag?

Suitcase

38. Lemonade or tea?

Tea

40. Weirdest thing to happen at your school?

I dunno how weird it is, but I always found peculiar that there were cigarette butts on the ceiling of the bathrooms. Like, seven feet tall ceilings. How did those cigs get there??

41. Last person you texted?

My best friend to tell her that my sister found a way to let me watch supernatural on American Netflix >:3c

42. Jacket pockets or pant pockets?

Jacket pockets

43. Hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

Hoodie and/or jean jacket

44. Favorite scent for soap?

I dunno. Talcum powder I think

45. Which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Superhero

46. Most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Tee and boxers. Sometimes socks too

48. If you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

Umh. Clementines maybe. Easy to peel, sweet but also not, sometimes with seeds.. and some people loathe the little white stripes they have and they spend hours peeling those away

49. What saying or quote do you live by?

“Like any / unloved thing, I don’t know if I’m real /when I’m not being touched.” —Natalie Wee

50. What made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

My best friends always make me wheeze, it can be the stupidest dumbest thing ever, I’m really fucking easy to amuse lol

51. current stresses?

My driver license my driver license my driver license my driver license my driver license my d

52. Favorite font?

I have no idea. This one? Lol

53. What is the current state of your hands?

Good. I just cut my nails, I really wanna put some nail polish but my dad comes back home tomorrow and he always looks me weird when I put it

55. Favorite fairy tail?

The little mermaid

56. Favorite tradition?

A tradition I have with my friends is that when we celebrate someone’s birthday, we go to the thrift shop and buy them stupid stuff to wear or put on. On my birthday a couple days ago I had to wear playboy bunny ears and a black glittery bow tie lol. Once I bought my best friend a tiny pirate hat, and for another my friend took a boa with pink feathers lol

57. The 3 biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

Mmmh

I’m having a hard time with my parents since I dropped out of uni but I think I’m starting to overcome it finally

When my parents were about to divorce and in was dreading the idea of moving from this city

That time in middle school I spent a couple weeks at the hospital to run a bunch of neurological tests

58. Four talents you’re proud having?

I’m pretty good at multitasking

It’s very difficult to enrage me (yes I consider it a talent)

I can juggle lol

I can read in moving cars/trains etc without getting sick :D

59. If you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“What the f—“

61. Favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/ etc?

“Happiness isn't in the having. It's just in the being. It's in just saying it.” Aka Castiel’s love confession (OF COURSE I WAS GONNA SAY SOMETHING DESTIEL RELATED)

62. Seven characters you relate to?

No specific order:

Dean Winchester

Eric Derekson

Jake Peralta

Doug Eiffel (👀)

Tony Stark

Klaus Hargreeves

Diego Hargreeves

63. Five songs that would play in your club?

Anything from P!ATD

Bang!— AJR

Natural— Imagine Dragons

Anything from Set It Off

Maniac— Conan Gray

64. Favorite website from your childhood?

I didn’t use computers in my childhood lol

66. Favorite flower(s)?

Fresias 💕

67. Good luck charms?

I used to keep in my pocket a little hazelnut my dad gave me once telling me that it was a good luck charm. I took it away tho. I dunno, maybe my rings

68. Worst flavor of any food of drink you’ve ever tried?

I have to admit I never tasted it, but the smell of truffle literally makes me gag, so that

69. A fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?

Apparently your love language is both the one you give AND want love, and also the one you most lacked growing up. So. Mull that over.

70. Left or right handed?

Rightie

71. Least favorite pattern?

Holey ones. Make my sight go double

74. At what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an Advil of ibuprofen?

A seven I guess. I usually try to sleep off anything I have, I hate to take medicines, and loathe to call the doctor lol

75. When did you lose your first tooth?

Around.. six I think?

85. Fairy tails or mythology?

Mythology forever

86. Cookies or cupcakes?

Cookies 🍪

87. Your greatest fear?

That the other shoe will drop and I’ll be alone and lonely

88. Your greatest wish?

To have enough stubbornness to do what I wish to do without getting demoralized so easily

90. Luckiest mistake?

Me and one of my best friends got to know each other through other common friends, and once they both couldn’t come and we ended up spending the day together. We had lots of fun, but we also got drunk and I lost my mcfreaking watch lmao

92. Lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Lamps

94. Favorite season?

Winter ❄️

95. Favorite app on your phone?

Tumblr! (And the music one. And the podcasts one. And— jk lol)

[haiky-u-lously]

King Kuroo and the Red Knight (8)

Summary:

A Camelot AU where King Arthur is Kuroo Tetsuro, and the Knights of the Roundtable of characters from seasons 1-4 of the HQ anime. Eventual Kuroo X Reader.

Themes:

Action/fighting/killing, dead bodies, Fluff, Angst, Humor, Eventual Romance

Warnings:

Mentions of stalking and abuse of power, Language, Angst in feelings, Gore and fighting, mention of explosion, mention of seeing dead bodies

Word Count:

For Chapter: ~2700words                

Questions/Comments/Concerns/Ideas welcome as always.

So let me just say, I am an actual idiot. Like, not only are the twins not third years, but neither are 3 of my favorites to write for in this story. Like Futa, Teru and Aone are all actually second years as well as the twins! And, this, this was facts that I knew! How ridiculous is that, huh? I just deemed 5 second years third years in my mind in order to include them. Oh well though hahah.

I'm not changing the characters. I just changed the descriptions hahah.

Anywho, Hope you all liked the random/differentness that was this chapter. 

Let me know your thoughts and such, i love getting comments on this and have been trying pretty hard to respond every time (whether on AO3 or tumblr).

Enjoy!

–Admin Red

Chapter 8: Enemy Meeting

Daishou stepped away from the slain body, a smile on his features as he moved towards the main hall of the castle, to await meeting with the King and others.

He’d passed a few windows overlooking the front square and did a double take at the amount of bodies littered on Camelot’s grounds. 

‘This can’t be!’ His thoughts shouted at him. Looking over the fallen he counted less than twenty palace guards. Not a single knight of Camelot, nor the Red Knight or their squire. ‘What happened? We had surprise on our side! How did none of them die?!’

Daishou, in his anger, flared his hands and mini explosions were heard as his power crashed into the sides of the wall near them. He took a few breaths to calm himself before moving on, readying his mind to take the idiotic King’s prideful boasting and his knights’ encouraging about the oh-so-great power of Camelot. Gagging a bit, he made to the room he’d intended to reach from the get go.

Not seeing any sign of his actual enemies having failed in their defenses on his trek to the center of the castle made the Lord’s mood sour further, but when he entered the War Hall to see it empty he’d regained some confidence. “Mayhaps the idiots needed help in the South. Hopefully a few were cut down.”

Hearing some scuffle, Daishou stopped speaking to himself and cursed a spell on the door to see who passed, listening in on the conversation held by the approaching group.

“I will be telling our King about your recklessness, let him deal with your stupidity.” The silver haired guest said, anger clear on his face as he walked in front of the Red Knight. “That was actually the worst decision you could have possibly had. Jumping into the middle of the fray from a hole in the third story. Are you that much of an idiot? That eager to fight? Idiot. Absolute imbecile and the undisputed champion of stupid decision making. You will not receive breakfast tomorrow either. Take that as a punishment. See if I leave you any chocolates in your baggage either.”

Daishou watched as the Knight was clearly displeased with the stolen sweet comment the most as he reached out and stopped his companion directly in front of the mirrored door the Lord had generated.

The squire turned once he was brought to a halt. “Fine, I won’t take your stupid chocolates. But I will come up with two additional punishments to your not getting breakfast.”

Nodding in acceptance, the Red Knight motioned for his squire to continue moving. 

“Actually, I have a question.” The King’s servant faced the pair, letting Daishou continue his eavesdropping as none moved from his portal view. Futakuchi faced the pair, “You agreed to participate in the festival the King proposed as a make-shift apology. But didn’t speak to your squire before accepting to be fighters. Which really does make it seem like you may just be impatient to fight, but here is my question. And, I hope you take no offense to it. But, is it really enough that he put on a tournament to appease the grievances done against you?”

Though he only had a slight understanding of what the servant referred to, Daishou was honestly awaiting an answer as well. If the actions towards the pair were so unjust that they’d considered leaving their mission unfinished, why could something so simple turn the tide.

The squire looked to his Knight before facing the servant once more, apparently answering for the pair. “Though this is the first I’ve heard of it, I can tell you now that Yomimasu’s intentions are not about the fighting aspect. Though I guess I am the one who just said they were eager to fight…” He seemed to think a moment before continuing, “After we left the dinning hall and returned to our current rooms, we discussed things. And, we came to the decision that you all had just as much a point in being upset with us as we’d gotten with you. We are guests of Camelot, despite any pretense of our mission or who we are in the Red Knight Order, that is who we are here. Guests. And, upon our arrival we gave demands with hardly any explanation. Then continued to demand privacy for our belongings. Having wanted to keep a secret the lineage amongst us. Since we were as much to blame about a bad start, the two of us determined the best course of action was to make amends first thing in the morning. Neither of us expected tonight’s outcome. And if given the chance to rectify our initial opinions of one another so soon, I can see why the Red Knight would agree without consulting me.”

Apparently Futakuchi accepted the explanation, because Daishou watched the three leave his field of vision and no longer heard their conversations.

He cursed that the pair obviously helped in the fight, and cursed further that someone had fired a shot warning those inside to the attack earlier than had they just stormed the castle as directed.

_______________________________

“Kuroo, please excuse my sudden shift in decision, but I’ve just been called by another Lord to assist with a problem down south. My journey will not permit me to be here for your tournament.” Daishou commented to his half-brother amidst the celebratory drinks the Knights of Camelot were having in the War Hall.

The King just smiled at the Lord, “Of course! Do you need anyone to assist in your journey, brother?”

Smiling over a thinly veiled scowl, Daishou shook his head, “Thank you for the offer, your Highness. But recusing myself from the tournament could already be a slight towards your guests, and I’d hate to make it worse by taking some of your best and most entertaining knights.” The pair of men laughed at the joke before the Lord continued his practiced lie, “Besides, Camelot is just coming off of a strong win in defending her walls. Let the men enjoy themselves.”

“Your concern for their happiness is well noted, and much appreciated, Daishou. I’m just sorry I didn’t think to send someone to you in the heat of the battle. I never thought they’d stray to your part of the castle.” Kuroo seemed to be thoroughly apologetic, but he quickly resumed grinning and held his goblet up to stand for a toast, “Men! Let us cheer! To the power of Camelot’s forces, to your power, and to the prosperity of a great tournament to come!”

“Yes!”

“CHEERS!”

“To Camelot!”

“To victory!”

“To the fight!”

“To the King!”

Different shouts were heard across the room. But once someone shouted to the king, the rest followed. Until Daishou whispered under his breath, in a way only he could hear himself amongst all the joyous rokous, “Yes, to the true King of Camelot.”

_________________________________

Days later, Daishou was facing the ruins of a century old castle atop his perfect steed. 

The horse whinnied at the overwhelming dark presence before it and reared as he took a few paces back. Obviously fearful of the unseen energy before him.

Dismounting and tying his steed to a post, Daishou made his own way into the castle’s grounds.

“You’re late.” A voice called to him from the shadows of the interior square.

Facing the caller before responding, Daishou smiled, “Yes, well. You couldn’t very well expect me to lead the men the King had following me here, could you?”

“Does the idiot King actually have a brain cell to distrust you?” The man commented back, sticking to the shadows until hearing a preferred answer.

Camelot’s Lord laughed out towards the sky, “Never, he wanted me to have extra protection as I have gone to help our ally.”

“He really is the stupidest King to take Camelot’s throne,” The male voiced as he finally stepped into the light shining into the square. “I take it you bring news too delicate to message?”

Nodding, the Lord motioned for his companion to lead them somewhere they could sit comfortably while they spoke.

__________________________________

“Daishou, I thought only one Red Knight and a squire came to Camelot?” The light-brown-haired male questioned, “And, you said Ushijima and Asahi, two of Camelot’s strongest, were not there. We held the element of surprise, and yet only twenty men made it back to the strong hold. Twenty, out of eight-hundred. What the hell happened?”

Daishou winced at the tone he was being addressed with, but recovered quickly as he’d expected the reaction, “One of the men ruined the art of surprise by blowing a hole in the castle wall directly in view of the square where the main forces were targeting. I imagine only three-hundred ever made it inside the castle from that poor decision. And the knights had been spread out, the fight became child’s play to them.” He scowled as he recalled the bodies littered in the front of Camelot’s main gate and thought of the guests who fought in Camelot’s defense even after being scorned by the so-called-King. “The Red Knight and his man were the most bothersome though. Killing nearly a third of forces between just them two. How is that possible? You didn’t tell me they’d be that strong.”

The partner’s eyes blew back in surprise, hearing how many men fell to the hands of his old home’s people, getting a strange look on his face after he thought for a moment. “What can you tell me of the Red Knight? Or rather, his squire since I assume he hasn’t revealed much of anything of himself yet.”

“May I, Oikawa?” The Lord questioned, hand already reaching for the head of the person sitting next to him.

Nodding his allowance, the male kept his head stationary, as to accept the visual memories of his companion.

Daishou whispered a phrase beneath his breath and Oikawa’s head shot back as visions filled his mind of just who had attended Camelot as a squire to the Red Knight in visiting Camelot.

When the pair separated, both had heaving chests, as they were trying to regulate their breathing after an intense trade of magic.

“No, it couldn’t have been…” Oikawa whispered to himself.

“You know him?” Daishou questioned as he scooted further in his seat away from his supposed companion.

Oikawa shook his head, “I knew him when I lived with the Order. But he’d never left his cousin’s side. I can’t imagine who'd he follow out to Camelot. And to have him, one of the smartest Knights in the Order regulated to nothing but a squire, must mean this Red Knight is in a class of their own. I can’t imagine who it would be though.” The circling thoughts seemed to attack Oikawa’s mind as his eyes moved from side to side in his confusion, his voice dissipated into nothing as he spoke in circles, and he fell deaf to Daishou’s calls.

Before he let the confusion last too long, Daishou leaned in and captured Oikawa’s lips with his own, kissing the man back to his own self. When the Lord felt the kiss being returned with twice as much force, he pulled away. “I don’t mind, whatever the issue. Just let me in on it so I can help. We want the same thing. You to be knighted in Camelot, and I to sit upon the throne. These things will only come to pass if you let me in though.”

“Yes, you are correct.” Oikawa recognized before sighing deeply and explaining to the best of his ability. “Before I was exiled from the Order, that man, the squire, his name is Sugawara. He was on a fast track to become the youngest Red Knight since the King’s grandfather. Everyone praised his intelligence, ability to stay calm, and to keep others refreshed in the heat of battle. But, his downfall is that he wouldn’t leave his cousin’s side. She was the Princess, and for a time we were all close. But, when my mother tried to assassinate the King, and she just happened to get hurt playing with me the next day, the King took it to mean I was trying to kill her. She didn’t believe that was the case and convinced her father to exile me instead of killing me, but in my rage I attacked Sugawara. I left with everyone believing I was a traitor. But no one held more control over Sugawara than the Princess. And her father was adamant she’d never be a Red Knight. I recall that in journeys, the one presented as the Red Knight is supposed to be the strongest, while the one presented as the squire is still technically a Red Knight, just not as strong. With all their rules about not talking and such, it makes sense to have someone free to discuss openly with others. If Sugawara is demoted to squire for this journey, I have no clue who could be marked as the Red Knight. Had I known it was Sugawara fighting, I would have drastically changed things, maybe as far as recalling the attack order.”

Daishou had to take a few moments to process everything he’d just heard. He’d try to start a comment back multiple times, but every one of them failed as the words got caught in his throat or his mind wandered to trying to prioritize a different idea. It was a full five minutes until he’d responded coherently.

“So, these Knights could prove to be worse adversaries than anyone in Camelot?” He asked tentatively.

“Yes.” Oikawa responded matter-of-factly.

Daishou shook his head, and stood to pace a bit, “If Camelot ends up reconnecting with them, and gets the Order on his side, things would be even harder, wouldn’t they?”

“Yes,” Oikawa repeated in the exact same manner.

“Then we have no choice,” Daishou turned to face the sitting male, “We must rebuild our forces, and come up with a plan that will utterly destroy each the Red Knight, his squire, and Camelot’s Knights before the King gets his wish of reuniting with the order.”

Looking up at the smiling face of his companion, Oikawa thought he saw the outline of a horned serpent. The evil thoughts protruding from his mind clear for anyone to see, just as his own once were.

“Agreed, but for now, we should take the time provided to us by your deceit to Kuroo. How long can you stay this time?”

“Perhaps a week.” Daishou answered off handedly, already thinking through different attack strategies. “Do you think we could call upon the Sphinx? He owes us for getting his stupidly simple riddle correct last time. Mayhaps he would devour the idiots of Camelot for us.”

Oikawa shook his head before he went to the side of his companion, wrapped his arms around the dark-haired male’s waist and whispered in his ear, “Mayhaps, it is time to retire this line of thought for another day and to go relax and...catch up.”

Daishou half turned to face the smiling light-haired man leaning against his backside. He grinned back, “Agreed, we can discuss Camelot’s and Kuroo’s downfall tomorrow.”

The pair entered the passages leading inside the castle’s ruins, neither male regarding the rolling dark clouds approaching their hideout as they ignored the outside world for a few hours.

_____________________________________

“Oikawa,” Daishou called his retreating partner from atop his steed, “You harbor no feelings towards the members of the Order, correct? Because if you do, all of this is for naught. Tell me now, was all this for nothing?”

The light-haired brunette thought of his old home, everyone he knew as a young boy, and how his life progressed since being exiled. “The only person I would ever listen to from the Order would never leave. There is no doubt in my mind, when we strike Camelot next time, they won’t stand in our way. You will be King, Daishou.”

“And you, a proper knight. Until we meet again, Oikawa.” The Lord responded before kicking his horse in high gear and dashing deep into the forest, returning at once to Camelot after more than a week gone.

_______________________________________________

Table of contents:

Chapter 7                                                      Chapter 9

[glossedchaos]

okay but imagine watching aaood with zion.

assigning a pm boy to each 1d character

him perfectly reciting the “introducing TAC-O’s” ad

“i thought that song was about drugs though” the biggest fucking stupidest grin grows on his face

him losing his shit at the cat name gag

imitating harry going “noooooo” for an hour

you appreciating harry’s puns while he doesn’t

laughing at louis hitting harry to hit the high note while zion’s trying to be cool and stifle a laugh.

he’d probably be the one to laugh at lord faptoguys (idk how to spell) and april’s excessively massive boobies.

pussy magnet

watching niall use zayn’s quiff as a ramp to skate out of the garbage and nick walks into the room at that. very. moment. with his hair all done up. oof y’all aren’t sparing any feelings.

in conclusion, i would like to link up with directioner zion kuwonu