Everyone: *is standing around the broken coffee maker*
Equius: D-> So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just want to know.
Everyone: ...
Feferi: ...i did. I broke it.
Equius: D-> No, no y00 didn't. Eridan?
Eridan: don't look at me. look at nepeta
Nepeta: >:00< what?! i didn't break it.
Eridan: huh, that's wweird. howw'd you evven knoww it wwas broken?
Nepeta: >://< beclaws it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.
Eridan: suspicious.
Nepeta: >:((< no, it's not!
Aradia: if it matters, pr0bably n0t, but s0llux was the last 0ne t0 use it.
Sollux: liiar! ii don't even driink that crap!
Aradia: 0h really? then what were y0u d0ing by the c0ffee cart earlier?
Sollux: ii u2e the wooden 2tiirrer2 two help feed my miind honey bee2. everyone know2 that, aradiia!
Feferi: orcay let's not fight. i broke it. let me pay for it, ---Equius.
Equius: D-> No! Who broke it!?
Everyone: ....
Aradia: equius... eridan's been awfully quiet 0-0
Eridan: rEALLY?!
Everyone: *starts arguing*
Equius, to the side: D-> I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.
Equius: D-> I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.
Equius: D-> ...
Equius: D-> G00d. It was getting a little t00 chummy around here.
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Some writing form a game
So in a rather ridiculous online game I was in, my city of heretics and demonologists was inexplicably allowed to summon their patron, and then complete the massive doomsday ‘utterly destroy the main Good faction so we can win the game’ ritual. And since I wrote a thousand words of high fantasy purple prose to describe it, figured I might as well post it here.
Deicide
In the very centre of Khasal, directly below the False Sun, there is a spire, needle-thin, sustained only through the City’s thorough subjugation of all the earth and sky within its borders.
And as the sun set over Hanrui, it unfurled, the four vast and sprawling chambers that had been folded within it at last free under the open sky. Each was led by a different grand celebrant, and each glowed with a different light. But as they orbited the False Sun, casting truly frightful lights and shadows across the night sky, the flows of power between them were obvious.
The first and furthest vista was Life, as red as old Balam. Seven times seven sacrifices hung suspended above intricately carved patterns, their bodies healing too fast to ever die as they were endlessly bled. As the blood filled in the mystic runes they began to glow a ruddy and sullen light. Above and between the sanguine lines, what had once been bare granite teemed with life, carpeted with flowers of a thousand different varieties, each a brilliant and unnatural hue. Five troops of dancers leapt and revelled amidst the crimson chaos, tearing free of each skin as they died a carnal death and donning a new face-freely taken, through force or fraud-in perfect time for each new verse. Three covens sat at three cauldrons, mixing reagents and all the curses of frail mortality in boiling concoctions, overflowing freely into the bloody streams of power. And at the centre stood the masterwork of the Architect’s beloved, conductor and chorus both, singing with a dozen mouths and cutting with a hundred hands.
And off the edges the ruddy, glowing rivers of lifesblood poured, imbued with all the glorious, fervent strength of a dying and desperate beast. No matter gravity’s opinion, they fell unerringly towards the Sun.
Next was Fire, many coloured and painful to behold. The platform was glass, stained and warped to give the smallest spark the reflection of an inferno. There stood upon it a great multitude- warpriests and lantern-bearers, devotees of a dozen different cults, and all the addicts of the pyre. They chanted ceaselessly as they worked, tending the pits and alcoves onto which they poured incense and alchemy, ten thousand smokeless lights billowing up and dancing across the sky. The heat was intense beyond all reason, scorching flesh and burning cloth and feathers both. More than one unfortunate grew overwhelmed and entranced, and threw themselves on the pyre-a painless death, at least, spared from their gods opinion of suicide by the same incinerating heat that left no flesh or bone. The greatest was in the centre, of course, attended by orcai clerics and mystics, pouring all their devotion and fervour into the invocations of their saviour, their plumage growing more glossy and vibrant with each endless and torturous hour spent attending the Pyre, as their Arch-Cleric sanctified sacrifice after sacrifice, each purified to colourless ash in less than a heartbeat, blessing the countless pyres with all the heat of Heaven and Hell.
And as the smokeless fire danced into the night sky, it rose unerring towards the Muse of Glory, no matter which direction more pedestrian minds might have expected.
The penultimate vista was Space, all the vast and endless distance which attenuates the bond between Heaven and Earth. Its original design was forgotten as it revealed itself, unfolding into labyrinth and impossible spirals and rings around the False Sun, through which fire and blood could easily slip. Companies of spell-eaters and warmages marches tirelessly down those roads, freed from all other demands from their first step, their every stride an incantation, every bead of sweat a sacrifice. From a distance the roads seem unerringly straight and flat, but in person there are cliffs and mountains to spare, the many-faceted crystal from which they are cut changing shape to match every traveller’s perception. But every spell-eater, and every pilgrim, knew their duty-and they chanted and evoked as they walked, empowering the zephyr which flowed boundlessly around them, pushing out the road ahead of them, stretching and moulding it into ever more impossible designs. And surrounded and entombed by that crystal, sculpting it and swimming within it, was a serpent, cutting the world even finer behind her as she drew the newest ring ever closer to the radiant Unbinder.
And innermost of all, there was the Divine. Song and light made manifest by nine choirs of the chosen, as sacred and close the Voice as any space could be. On it were seven thrones, and on each of them an honoured and senior Voice of the Church, plucked form their pulpits or beds by changelings and shades. Each was cleansed and consecrated, anointed in holy oils, their soul reinforced and opened by the greatest psychics and astral scholars Hanrui had to offer, happy to be aiding an ally instead of disreputable mercenary work.
This last vista was within the False Sun, and as these seven finally awoke, their minds mercifully refused to perceive it. Instead they saw themselves as an oasis of light and song amidst oblivion, textured only by the constant rain of stars from the firmament.
And then the whispers began, sharp enough to make them bleed, in every voice they knew, whispering doom and terror, breathlessly listing all the tortures they could inflict, denouncing them for not being there to protect or comfort, begging for the mercy of death-
They prayed, of course they did, they invoked their Goddess, and the world leapt to assist them, and welcome her. Calling upon miracles to tear their prison asunder, and set the creation aright.
And then blood lanced through the sky, into their eyes and ears. And fire down their throat. And inches became miles became eternities.
And Vetali the Unbinder, Muse of Glory, Unbinder of Days, Demon of Hubris, spoke. And mirrors suffused with her light, carefully scattered throughout the dominions of the Voice, burst forth into their full radiance, her sibilant tones echoing through them.
I Love the Flame for its Heat
And Life for its Passions
And the World for its Vastness
Your Voice is a Plague
A Hollow Soul and a Slavish Tongue
And a Dead and Sterile World
I am the Chorus of Falling Stars
And I deny You
Let your every tongue boil
And your every letter burn
I bar Your passage from the Sky
Let every Soul you have Ruined
Be a Lance in Your flesh
And a Brand upon Your eyes
Your words will be drowned by the rush of Blood
Your commandments lost to the Pyre
Your holy places desolate in the Vastness of Creation
If You may not die
Then for an Age
Be silent
And learn the language of pain
And then, throughout the world, those who had heard the voice fell to the ground, as their souls began to burn.
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Hello, all who are tagged in this post!! I just wanted to get this one-month reminder to you at least in some form before the day of got any closer.
I’ve been sending them out individually but have run into an unforeseen hiccup which is that Tumblr only allows me 50 new message conversations per day. With this handicap, it will take me another 8 days to send them to all of you. I will still be sending them to you over these next 8 days (which will prevent this from happening again with the 1 week left reminders), so, please keep an eye out for that! Dont hesitate to send me a message if you have any questions!
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