#original: the office

[callsign-daydream]

Rooster: We don't normally download films illegally. Because we're honest, hard-working people. Phoenix: And we don’t know how. Rooster: But Bob does.

[itsagentromanoff]

Tony: Steve's been looking at me kind of a lot all week. I would be creeped out by it, but it's nothing compared to the way Barnes looks at me.

[Bucky in the background watching Tony]

[forumjutsu]

Sasuke *after he returns*: I understand that you are angry.

Sakura: It´s fine.

Sasuke: No, I mean, I deserve it.

Sakura: Just let it go.

Sasuke: I need atonishment. What do you want?

Sakura: I really don´t...

Sasuke: Come on, what is it? What do you want? You want my sword? You want me to stop using chidori? You want to hit me? You want me to beg you...

Sakura: I wanna hit you.

Sasuke: What?

Sakura: I wanna hit you. I´ll do that.

Sasuke: Eeeh... okay? Like... right now or...?

Sakura: No, I´m working now.

Sasuke:

Sakura: We´ll do it at night. In the Hokage Tower. In front of everyone.

Sasuke: Okay...

Sakura: I’m going to hit you as hard as I can.

Sasuke: ...Okay.

Sakura: See you then.

Sasuke:

Sasuke: See you.

[incorrectx-menquotes]

Emma Frost: I'd lie for you. Scott Summers: Yeah, but you lie all the time. You lie for no reason. Emma, you just like to lie.

[scottishaccentsareawesome]

Poseidon: The stress of my modern life has caused me to go into a depression. Zeus: Depression? Isn't that just a fancy word for feeling "bummed out"? Poseidon: Zeus, you ignorant slut!

[incorrectstarwarslegendsquotes]

Jaina Solo: I've figured out why you're such a jerk: you have updog.

Kyp Durron: What's updog?

Jaina Solo: Jacen, get in here! I told you I could do it!

[incorrectnancydrewquotes]

Today, I saved a life - my own. Am I a hero? I really can’t say. But yes.

-Brady Armstrong (canceling the demolition after the case), The Final Scene

[incorrectpnatquotes]

Isabel: *clicking her mouse* Isaac: Stop it. Isabel: Stop what? Isaac: You're talking about me in Morse Code. Joke's on you because I know Morse Code. HA! Isabel: *sarcastically* Yeah, that's EXACTLY what Ed and I doing. In our VERY LIMITED free time. Ed: *also sarcastically* We went out and took a class on a very outdated and very unnecessary form of communication just so we could talk about you in front of you. [Off Screen] Isabel: That's exactly what we did.

[incorrectlasthours]

*James, trying to plan with the Merry Thieves how to tell Cordelia he loves her for real in Chain of Thorns*

James: How about this: throw a corpse, dressed like me, off the roof

Thomas: *puts his head in his hands*

Christopher: *nodding along thoughtfully*

Lucie: *sitting there with her arms crossed*

Jesse, who just met these people and is filling in while Matthew is in Paris: Um-

James: It hits the ground and the head pops off. This leads to me saying the line: “I lost my head when I fell in love with you.”

Thomas: *grimacing*

Lucie: *sarcastically* Well that is guaranteed to work.

James: And it’s easy enough to get a corpse! We just go to the silent city and ask Uncle Jem.

Jesse, looking at the camera like he’s Jim on The Office:

[letitrainathousandflames]

Boba: I suggested we flipped a credit to decide who was gonna lead the assault, and Bo-Katan said she doesn't gamble. Of course, by saying that, she was gambling that I wouldn't smack her.

[random-musings-of-life]

Death Note Incorrect Quote #1

*Disclaimer: The entirety of my knowledge of Death Note comes from memes and assumptions based on a few screencaps, so this may not be totally accurate, but I thought it was funny*

Light: Wow, it's a little early for ice cream, don't you think?

L: It's never too early for ice cream, Kira.

[callsign-daydream]

Bob: You’re looking at the master of leaving parties early. I don’t mean to brag, but New Year’s Eve? I was home by 2100.

[itsagentromanoff]

Tony: Why does Strange like Christine?

Bucky: Doll, look, all I know is that if I was a girl, and I had to choose between the tall dude who loved Cloak of Levitation, and the you looking dude who loves rocker tees and wearing rocker tees…I’d choose you.

Tony: That’s really nice. Thank you.

Bucky: And I’d blow your mind.

[jamiewintons]

Dave: You use your brain too much.

Jamie: I’m sorry, are you advocating that I use it less?

Dave: Sometimes the smartest people don't think at all.

Jamie: You just came up with that.

Dave: As I was saying it.

[fourleafisland]

i designed office worker ocs while studying fashion photos and joked about writing an office worker yuri but guys i dont think its a joke anymore

[incorrectstarwarslegendsquotes]

Luke Skywalker: The New Republic has given Kyp two strikes. They are very, very upset with him. So, as a disciplinary measure, he is going to have to issue a formal apology. Kyp, have you prepared your statement of regret?

Kyp Durron: I have.

Luke Skywalker: Let’s hear it.

Kyp Durron: [unfolds piece of paper and reads from it] I state my regret.

Corran Horn: You couldn’t have memorized that?

Kyp Durron: I could not because I do not feel it.