#oscar: oh...i just ate lunch...too bad...

[musubiki]

witches brew ???!!

[oscars-wifeyyy]

Chapter 3 (The Innocent)

The next day came around, Cesar, Monse, and Elizabeth were walking to school. The three were talking when Jamal and Ruby rode past them with their bikes.

“Get out the way,” Ruby called out as Jamal imitated a care engine.

Elizabeth chuckled, but gags when Cesar kissed Monse, “I love y’all, but don’t do that in front of me,”

“Eli, shut up,” Cesar rolled his eyes, “you and my brother probably do that when you’re alone,”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Elizabeth looked at him confused.

“Nothing,” Cesar shrugged as the three continued on their way to school.

Elizabeth was in class with Ruby and Olivia when the intercom came on with the announcements, “Attention, students. One last reminder to buy your tickets to tonight’s homecoming dance. A magical night of wonder, excitement, and romance can be yours for only $10.99,”

“So…” Ruby trailed off, “you going?”

“Yeah,” Olivia smiled, “Do you…”

“Do you…” Ruby started at the same time as Olivia, “you go first,”

“Do you need any underwear?” Elizabeth started laughing at the turn of events.

“What?” Ruby asked, horrified.

“ Your mom’s at Costco,” Olivia explained.

“Um…” Ruby turned to look straight, “I’m good,”

“Ok,” Olivia turned back to her phone, “also, they ran out of your gummy vitamins so your mom got you small easy to swallow pills. That cool?”

Ruby hummed in embarrassment while Elizabeth couldn’t breathe and began weezing at the turn of events. She had to contain herself when Ruby turned and glared at her so she looked down and took out her notebook with her lips sealed, but still let out a few laughs. The teacher arrived inside the class and began the lesson so Elizabeth listened and took notes as her eyes drifted towards the clock to see how long left until class is over.

Lunch came around and Elizabeth was the first one to get to the table with her food, she sat with her food in front of her and a book. A few pages turned and a couple bites into her food, the group finally came to the table so she put away her book and looked to the group, but an awkward pause passed.

“I’m wearing indigo tonight,” Ruby interrupted the silence, “I thought we should claim colors to avoid outfit clases. Indigo? Any objections?”

“Nah, Ruby. All you, man,” Elizabeth chuckled.

“Oh, and my pants have red pockets. I know, it sounds weird, but it works,” Ruby continued.

“What are the pockets for?” Olivia asked before she leaned towards Monse, “Roofies?”

The boys and Elizabeth looked at them weird, “so what time should we meet?” Cesar asked the group.

“Yeah, let’s get that in the books. More specific, the better,” Jamal said, “what are you guys thinking, like 8? 8:05? 8:10?”

“I’m gonna play it by ear,” Olivia replied, “I don’t think I’m feeling it,”

“What? Why?” Ruby asked.

“Not sure I’m in the mood to be objectified,” Olivia smiled sarcastically, “if I want to see boners, I’ll look online,”

“Didn’t you hear Principle Serge? Dance is a no-bone zone,” Jamal brought up the announcement.

“Are you kidding me? Dances are cesspools of bad behavior,” Cesar shook his head at Monse’s strategy, “I don’t wanna go,”

“Yeah, people get freaky, but what’s wrong with that?” Ruby shrugged, “I don’t get it,”

“Yeah, Monse. Why don’t you wanna go? Explain it to us. You were pretty excited this morning,” Cesar pried into Monse.

“That was before I remembered that dances are lame,” Monse glared at the boy, “and maybe we’re not in the mood,”

“Oh,” Ruby looked as if he realized something, “is it your menses?”

Elizabeth started laughing while Olivia looked at him weird, “her what?”

“Her lady pond runneth red,” Ruby said before Jamal hit him on his arm to stop.

“My what?” Monse glared at Ruby.

“What?” Ruby looked genuinely confused, “what am I saying wrong?”

“Everything!” The two girls exclaimed at the confused friend.

“You guys just don’t understand what it’s like to be a woman and treated like an object,” Monse looked at the guys, “we have hearts!”

“And minds,” Olivia added, “so take out any question that we’re going tonight. The answer is no. with a period, ‘cause that’s what it’s actually called,”

“Girls, let’s dine in a less hostile environment,” Monse stood up.

“You read my mind,” Olivia rolled her eyes.

“I gotta go anyway to finish some assignments,” Elizabeth chuckled as she grabbed her backpack, “I don’t know what happened, but I’ll see y’all later,”

The day went by as classes dragged on until the last bell rang and students flooded the halls to leave the place they personally called hell. Elizabeth was part of the last few people in the flood since she needed to go to her locker and pick up her homework, but when she walked out and saw the feared gang leader inside his beloved cherry red Impala. She wanted to turn back and exit through the back; however, he already saw her when he got out and leaned his back into the car, staring at her. The girl decided to try to ignore him and walk past without a glance. She was about to walk past until he gently held her right hand before she walked past.

“Mamita,” Oscar smirked at the girl, “you ain’t getting rid of me easy so get in the car,”

Elizabeth glared at the older man in front of her, “nah, I got some shit to focus on so I’ll catch up with Ruby and Jamal,”

Oscar’s smirked dropped as he quickly, but gently pushed her against his car, resting his hands on the top of the car, “they may be tu amigos pero I’m not afraid to beat their asses,”

Elizabeth felt everyone’s eyes on them so she rolled her eyes and complied, not wanting to be the center of everyone’s attention. Oscar smirked and kissed her forehead before moving to open the passenger door for her. The gang leader went to the driver’s side and turned to his passenger.

“Where do you wanna go?” Oscar took the blunt behind his ear.

“Home,” Elizabeth’s stomach decided to rumble at that moment.

Oscar chuckled, “Nah, we stoppin’ somewhere to eat. Whatchu feelin’?”

“Nuggets. Chicken nuggets. Let’s go to McDonald’s and you’re paying since you’re kinda kidnapping me,” Elizabeth glared at Oscar.

“Alright, mamita. Whatever you say,” Oscar smirked at the irritated girl as he turned into the parking lot of a McDonald’s.

The two got out once he parked and went inside to put in their order. While the two were waiting, she got a text from the girls group chat asking if she was going to the dance with them. She didn’t know that Oscar moved to stand right behind her, chest touching back, and saw the text.

“You goin’ to the dance?” Oscar asked.

“Don’t know,” Elizabeth shrugged, turning to face him, “might pick up an extra shift that night at the restaurant,”

“Nope. You’re not because you study too much and work too much,” Oscar shook his head and laid a hand on her waist, “you and I are hanging out tonight,”

“I need to, ‘Scar,” Elizabeth rolled her eyes as she pushed his hand off her waist, “deje de tratar de tocarme,”

“Por que, bebita? I can’t help myself. eres demasiado hermosa,” Oscar smirked as he wrapped an arm around her neck and walked to the register to order their food.

“Hello. Welcome to McDonald’s. What can I get you guys?”

“Let’s get the 20 piece chicken nuggets combo and a number one,” Oscar took out his wallet and brought out two twenties.

Oscar got his change as Elizabeth went to the soda fountain and chose her drink, Oscar coming up from behind and choosing his. They decided to take a sit next to the pick up counter and small talked their way until the food came out.

Elizabeth looked down at her food as she dipped her nugget in ranch, “Oscar, why are you trying so hard to get at me? I’m nothing special and there are a lot of other girls that want you and will make time for you. I’m not gonna lie, I barely have time to even hang out with my friends so I’m barely gonna have time for you,”

Oscar swallowed the food in his mouth, “Well, I want you because there is something about you. No me importa si apenas tienes tiempo, siempre y cuando me des algo de tu tiempo. Let me claim you as mine, bebe,”

The two ate their food, moving past the subject, and made their way home, but Oscar passed Elizabeth’s house and continued making his way farther from her house.

“Oscar, where are you going? We passed my house,” Elizabeth was getting confused.

“I just wanna show you something,” Oscar glance at her.

Oscar drove in silence as his right arm had moved to rest behind Elizabeth, his hand lightly touching her right shoulder. Elizabeth felt her heartbeat increase in her chest and it was foreign feeling to her because she never felt like that towards anybody. However, she pushed it aside and focused on the road when she realized that they ended up at the beach. The moment Oscar parked the car, Elizabeth got out and stood in front of the car with a huge smile on her face, turning to Oscar and giving him the sight of her smiling face with the son behind her. It was quite a beautiful sight to the scary leader.

“Why did you take me here?” Elizabeth asked, smile stuck on her face.

“This is the place I go to when I need to think and want to get away from Freeridge. The openness and sounds of the oceans help me think and relax,” Oscar stared at the never ending blue ocean as Elizabeth admired the man from the side.

Elizabeth was surprised by his answer, “so you took me to your secret place?”

Oscar nodded, “I want to show you that I am serious about you and that I want you to be mine. Why do you work so hard? Why do you hustle that much?”

Elizabeth took a pause to contemplate telling him, “my dad was a construction worker so he would be in dangerous areas. One day, he was on ground level doing his job when something happened and he got hit in the head. Ever since then he has been messed up and goes to hospital visits to check on his head. Hospital bills build up and the compensation that he got was used on his bills and appointment he needs to go to so I work to help my mom out with bills and I get some extra money for myself and the future,”

Oscar cleared his throat and moved in front of Elizabeth to hold both of her hands while interlocking their fingers, “I’m here if you need anything, mamita,”

“Gracias, ‘Scar,” Elizabeth had a soft smile on her face, “Let’s take things slow and maybe I’ll be yours,”

The two smiled at each other as they moved to look at the sunset, but it seemed like the two of them were enchanted with the other.

“Tell me about you,” Elizabeth stared at the man next to her, “why did you choose this life? Just tell me everything about you,”

“When I was young, my father was killed and my mother was a drug addict. That left me to take care of Cesar so I did all I could to take care of him. I mean, I had an opportunity to go to this fancy school in Pasadena and I had recommendation letters written from the principal and teachers, but I didn’t want Cesar alone so I gave it up and got jumped in because of ‘destiny’ of the Diaz familia,” Oscar scoffed, “it’s hard. I think about what could have been, but I don’t regret not going because Cesar is here,”

Elizabeth smiled at the love that was so evident in his eyes and tone when he talked about his little brother, “thanks for sharing, ‘scar. I didn’t know you were smart,”

“Pendeja,” Oscar chuckled with Elizabeth while wrapping his arm around her and kissing her head.

@love-me-91393

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

BUSINESS AND PLEASURE

Johnny “Coco” Cruz x Chibs Telford’ daughter!Reader

“What if you should move to Santo Padre for two months...”

Chapter one.

Word count: 3.4k

Author comments: I hope you all enjoy. English isn’t my first language, so I’m sorry if I have some mistakes with grammar. Gif credits: @angels-reyes.

Thanks to my lovely beta reader and partner in crime with this one, @chibsytelford 💘

Tag list: @starrynite7114 @dazzledamazon @chibsytelford @mara-mpou @sammskellington 💥 (if you wanna be tagged, send me a message!)

Since you've been forced to move from Glasgow to Charming, your life has been a roller coaster with noisy falls into hell. Some days you were fine, the rest you were only available to create chaos around you. Your mother died because of a terminal disease, after fighting for two years, and the last time you saw your father before that it was when you were a child. Came to live with him after twelve years without no contact, except for a few calls every month, it was hard. Harder than he could imagine. 

The first days you were locked in the room he enabled to you in his house, where you only had a bed, a nightstand and a wardrobe. No picture, no colors around, nothing. It was kinda depressing. At least, he tried. He tried to re-build the good relationship you two have had in the past, before your mother kicked his ass out of Scotland, when Clay said he needed him at California, with the Sons'. 

Filip used to cook your favourite dishes, having had to learn to cook before. At first you only ate two or three bites, until one morning when you woke up hearing him screaming in scottish. You've never heard him so angry, and that scared you. Barefoot and silently, you went out of your room, sticking your head by the door frame of the kitchen. Unbelievable. He was arguing with his phone. Specifically with YouTube. You could see how he was watching a recipe of baked fish. It sounded easy, right? The problem was the sauce. Apparently he forgot to add some ingredients, and he had to repeat it from the start.

“Shit!” He shouted hitting the marble countertop, supporting his fist on it with his head down and a sigh in his mouth. “Fuckin' pepper and fuckin' lemon”.

“I don't like”. You said in a whisper, getting out of your hiding place. 

He turned at you frowned and upset, leaning against the furniture. Cross-armed, he shook his head with his gaze on the floor. You knew how frustrated he was, trying to kick you out of that sadness that it was consuming you. You lost your mother, you had to move out of your country, from the cold to the heat. And you truly hated sunny days. 

“I just... wanna make you feel like you're at home”. He said kinda desperately, scratching his head hard, completely disheveled. “I know this is not Scotland, nor your house. It's ok if you miss it, but this situation is killing me too. So, please, give me a break...”

You heard every word he told you, feeling the same knot he felt on his chest, and his voice about to drown in tears. You walked slowly towards him, looking inside your head for the correct things to say.

“I like the way you cook, but you scared the shit out of me, 'cause I didn't know you were shouting at YouTube”. You thought maybe some kind of joke could help, while he was holding your hands. “I don't like pepper, nor lemon, so it's fine. Maybe... we could have lunch together, if you're not busy with the club”.

“Fuc' da' club, caileag”. For the first time, you saw him smiling and it was amazing. “Do you think everything will be fine?” He sounded sad, simply sad. But you nodded without any doubt.

“We will be fine, athair”.

That was all he needed to hear. Chibs leaned towards you, placing a hand behind your head to leave a kiss on your forehead. Your hands held on his waist in a warm hug that you were wanting to give him since you arrived to Cali.

━━━━━━ (One year later) ━━━━━━

But what happened next was totally unexpected. You hear Happy talking with his prospect, around the corner of the workshop, about a dangerous mission they have to take care of, keeping them for two months out of Charming. And by Chibs decision, you're not coming. But he didn't tell you anything about it, before. Walking in the front yard, you find six motorbikes and a van you don't recognize from your charter, but belong to an MC. You're angry, so angry. Your steps are heavy and big, going faster to the clubhouse, taking off the rings of your fingers to keep them inside the pocket. You open the door suddenly, without warning the men who seems mexican sitting closer to your father. You only can see that fucking scottish who made a promise he's not gonna keep. And he sees the fury burning in your orbs. 

“Oh, shit”. It's everything he can say before one of your fists go straight to his face.

“Woah, woah, take it easy, chamaca!” One of the unknown man talks, trying to walk next to you, until you point it at him with the gun you had tucked under your shirt. All the men raise their hands with their eyes so much opened, letting you know that they're not gonna interfere again.

Time have passed. Some wounds has been closed and you have got used to the heat of the coast. Now, you're not who you used to be. SAMCRO changed you, having its good things and its bad things. You lost all the innocence you had, learning to defend yourself by fighting body-to-body and shooting weapons of different calibers. Happy and Tig usually try to catch you by surprise hitting you, but your faster than their old asses, blocking every hit that comes from nowhere. And sometimes you ‘play’ paintball with Juice on his free day. You're one of the Redwood family, being included in every mission one way or another, working hand by hand with the prospect; with the minimal difference that your father is your sponsor. This gives you two some problems because of the strong character you have inherited from him. And there are some times when you end up being beaten. The crew is used to it.

You turn to your father, who is rubbing his right cheek between some groans, supporting a hand on the pool table. You're breathing distressed with your eyes full of tears. You know how it works. When he leaves Charming, you don't have any notices for almost one week. You live every day with the pain of not knowing if he's still alive or not. Two months is too long. You can't even live without him at this point of your life, how are you supposed to do it?

“You promised me!” You yell at him pointing your chest with your own forefinger. “You said ‘us against the world’! You said it!”

Your voice is breaking, drowned by the tears that run down your face and your neck.

“You're a fucking liar! You're doin' the same you did thirteen years ago!” Yes, you can see how your words are affecting him, but you don't care. 

“Baby, listen...” He tries to give some steps towards you, receiving a push on his chest.

“I don' wanna hear more bullshit”. Putting the gun again behind your back, you turn to the front door, with a slight pause next to the other charter. “By the way”. You stare to the man you pointed seconds ago. “Next time I'm talking to my father, you shut the fuck up...” Reading his patch, you raise your eyes at him. “Presidente”.

You slam the door shut after you leave, seeing Happy next to your motorbike. He knows you know what is gonna happen by the tears running your cheeks. But even if you don't wanna talk with him, being your confidant since you came to Charming, he wraps strongly your body with his arms before you can run away from him. Crying inconsolably, you hide your face on his chest without moving your arms, only supporting your weight against him. Happy rest his chin on your head with a sigh, 'cause he knows well how much you suffer when your father attends a mission out of town.

“Are you leaving too?” You finally ask, even when you don't wanna hear the answer. He nods slowly, cleaning your tears with his long fingers.

“I'm sorry. I promise I'll try to write you”. He says hoarsely. “I'm sure you didn't let Chibs explain himself, but listen… Not even my prospect is coming. It's really dangerous for you two, we're gonna be ok, (Y/N)”.

“Who are they? What are they doing here?”

“They're Mayans, from Santo Padre. Oscar and Canche ‘family’. We can't leave you here, alone, without any protection. So, Chibs asked them to take care of you while we're out”.

Now you understand what's happening. It's suppose you should move from Charming to the south Cali, surrounded by men you don't know. Leave your house, again. Your cry appears again, shaking your head with some sobs stuck on your throat.

“Baby, listen, listen”. Happy try to have your attention cupping your face between his hands. “They're good men, they're gonna take care of you. And Canche will go to Santo Padre every week to see you”.

“I don' wanna go, Happy. I wanna go with you, please”. You beg in tears, with your lips trembling.

“(Y/N), you can't”. He sentences, trying not to sound too rude. He snort closing his eyes for a second. “Listen, they also have a car scrapping. You can work there. You like cars and you studied to be mechanic. 'Am sure these two months gonna' pass so fast that you're not gonna notice it”.

The front door of the club house gets opened. You turn for a while, just to see how the men gets out of it. You sigh, looking at Happy again. And you nod, even when you don't want to do it. Pulling yourself away from him, you're heading towards your motorcycle. In silence, after fastening the helmet, you start the engine. If you have to leave Charming you wanna do it as soon as possible. So, it's time to pack your stuff.

And that is what you're doing, when you hear your father's keys opening the door. His footsteps coming close to you, watching sideways how he leans against the door frame arm-crossed. Your basic clothes are already inside the suitcase on the bed, closing the zip after checking again that you have taken everything you could need. In the bag next to it, you keep your laptop, your headphones and all the chargers, in addition to other things.

“Please, talk to me”. Chibs says, but there's no answer from you. “I didn't know how to tell you, and I'm sorry, honey. But I promise...”

“Don't”. You turn at him raising your forefinger. “Don't make any promise you're not gonna keep, Filip”.

He knows you're truly sad when you call him by his real name. Chibs walks towards you, holding your hands slowly hoping that you're not gonna push him away again.

“Bishop and his guys 'gonna take care of you. And Happy said he told you about ‘Romero and Brothers’. I'm pretty sure you're gonna have fun there”. He's trying to make you understand.

“I don' care. I'm gonna be away from you”. You finally say, letting go all the pain you have inside your chest, oppressing your heart. “And you're not allowed to text me, nor call me. Could you imagine how distressing it feels?”

“'You think it isn't for me? I'm not stone cold, even if sometimes it's what it looks like, (Y/N). I think about you all the time. About what you're doing at any moment. If you're eating well, if you're sleeping... All the fucking time”. He replies trying to hide his anger. “But I need to protect you. And there aren't better hands than Bishop's”.

You nod. You don't want to continue arguing with him. Filip hugs you tightly, hiding your face on his neck, trying to not break in cry again. Your hands clinging on the back of his shirt. You're not sure how many time you have been like this, when your father decides that he should call the Mayans to pick you up.

The roars of motorcycles, coming just in time, have your attention. You take your stuff, rolling the suitcase over the floor till you find them outside. Your father takes it to keep it inside the van, before saying goodbye.

“They're gonna take care of you, ok?” He says again, holding your cheeks between his hands. You nod in silence about to cry. Leaving a kiss in your forehead, he hugs you. “If I can, I will text you. I promise. And I'll keep that one”.

“Two months?” You ask raising your gaze at him.

“I'll be back before your birthday”. Assures you. “I love ya' more than anything. You know, rai'?”

You nod again swallowing, before leaving one last caresses in your left cheek, cleaning the tear that falls down through it.

“You're going with my man, Coco”. Bishop talks, with the helmet covering his head while he wears both leather gloves. 

“And my bike?” You turn to your father with more dramatism than necessary.

“It's in the van too, don' worry”. Chibs answers, hitting twice one of the doors. “Canche could need you”.

“Or us”. The Mayans president add with a soft smile on his lips.

Things starts to change, when you're conscious that you will continue working with the charters even if yours isn't present. So, at least, it's not gonna be that bad as you thought. 

“I'm sorry 'I pointed you with my gun”.

“What I can expect from Chibs' daughter? It would have scared me more if you hadn't, after everything we've heard from you”. Your father chuckles because of the words of the Mayan. “Ready?”

You hug him again, taking some seconds to memorize his smell to not forget it at all.

“I love you”. You whisper, pulling him away softly, before walk to the front passenger seat of the van.

But, before the man could start the car, your father makes a last appearance, pointing with the forefinger to all the men presents there.

“If anyone of you touch my daughter, I'll cut off your cock and make you eat it”. The Mayans know that it's not a joke, so they nod agreeing.

“I've a daughter. Her name is Letti”. The mexican accent, camouflaged in the foreign language, pushes you out of your thoughts. “She's sixteen, but I think you could be fren'”. 

━━━━━━ ﹅ ━━━━━━

The sun is falling when you leave the ‘Welcome to Charming’ sign behind the van. You sigh heavily settling in your seat. The fresh air that enters by the open window makes fly some strands of your hair, supporting both arms against the door, with your chin on it, to watch out of the car the sunset on the horizon. It's gonna be hard, you know it, but at least you will have Canche visiting you every week. Maybe Oscar comes from Stockton too.

“Yea', maybe...” You say, turning for a second.

Coco turns the radio, hoping that music makes you feel better, looking for a channel without interferences. Then, you hear your favourite song, turning to the hand that is moving the calibrator. The man stares at you with curiosity, before turning up the volume. The melody continues, while you go back to your position leaving your cheek this time and closing your eyes to focus in the song.

“Hey, oh, listen what I say, oh! I got your hey, oh! Now listen what I say, oh!”

You're about to give him the silent treatment, but that only has bad points in your favor. You'll have to live and work together for the next months, so sooner or later, you're gonna have to talk him.

The first time you listened that song, you were living with your parents in Glasgow. You can remember your father singing it to you all the time, before go to Charming. So, listen to it again causes you bittersweet feelings.

“I like the Red Hot' too”. Coco says trying to be kind, while his fingers drum the steering wheel to the beat of the music. You have to say that he has a funny voice and hearing him singing sounds like a dying cat. That makes you chuckle. “Hey! What's up, mami? Don' laugh on me!”

“Sweet Jesus Christ, you're gonna make it rain”. Your laughter is loud now, capturing president attention who slows down to reach your window.

“It's everything ok, uh?” He shouts over the sound his motorbikes does.

“I hope he has a good aim, 'cause he couldn't work as singer!” You say in laughs.

“He's a veteran Marine, kid! What do you think?” Bishop accelerates to return to his place, while you turn to the driver, truly surprised. He has a triumphal smile on his face and his gaze in front.

“These motherfuckers discharged me because I used a rifle to shoot a cigar out of an officer's mouth”. He tells you. “I was three hundred meters from him”.

This is amazing and you feel the curiosity growing inside you. Curling your legs on the seat, putting around them your arms, you stare at the Mayan.

“Can you tell me about it?”

“'Bout wha'?” He asks looking at you for a second a little confused.

“About the Marine”.

He frowns, looking at you again.

“You wanna hear 'bout it?”

“I'm not asking you about the Area Fifty One”. You say with a sharp voice shrugging.

“I'm pretty sure that would be a good talk too”.

“C'mon! It's a long travel!” It almost seems like you're starting to beg, but the topic of the Navy and Marine has always interested you.

“It's weird!”

“Why?”

“Cuz' nobody has asked me 'bout it before”. He says with the same confusion you saw on him before.

“So bad is it...?”

“No, it's... cool. Pretty cool”. He replies with a slight smile on his face.

“I wanted to enlist in the British Army, but my mother said it was too dangerous for me. So, I didn't”. Your voice trembles for a second, and he realizes it.

“Sorre' 'bout your mom, Chibs told us”. He says after a moment in silent. “I killed mine”.

Your face shows a similar gesture of horror, he shrugs exaggeratedly.

“That bitch hit my daughter, and hurt her so bad. She also forced her to have a ‘bad life’, 'you know what I mean. She deserved it”. The calm with which he explains overwhelms you.

You're starting to think he hasn't had a good life. But who in their right mind would work for an MC? Not you, neither does he.

“And your mother hate you so bad that she called you ‘Coconut’?” You try to finish the tension installed inside the van with somewhat bad joke.

“The fuck told you that's my name?” He breaks in laughter, shaking his head, accidentally giving a flywheel. 

“Oh, shit”. Both say in unison. The charter looks back.

“My bad!” He shouts sticking his head out the window for a moment.

“Then? What's your name?”

“Johnny Cruz. And everyone calls me Coco”.

“Why?”

“We're not in that level yet, mami”. He imitates the sharp voice you used before.

“Ok, but, are you gonna tell me about the Marine?”

He sighs rolling his eyes, before showing you again his smile. So, there you are, lying on your seat stretching legs crossed on the dashboard of the van. He starts to talk, of course with the funny story of how he enlisted and all the chaos he created, compensating for it with his good aim. His voice is so calm, that if you close your eyes, you could think is one of those podcast people use to sleep; without the part of shooting, murdering, and all the bloody stuff. 

Actually, you did. You closed your eyes, opening it when the night has fallen. You yawn, putting your legs on the floor of the van.

“Sorry, I didn't sleep last night”. You apologize with flushed cheeks, rubbing your eyes.

“It's ok, mami. Te ves bonita mientras duermes”. (You look pretty while you're sleeping). He says.

“What did you say?” You ask, pretending that you don't speak spanish, but the truth is that you studied it for three years while you were living in Scotland.

“That you were drooling everything”. He lies so bad that he's a little nervous. “We're almost reaching to Santo Padre”.

“Great... Home, sweet home, isn'it?”

[noobsomeexagerjunk]

Left Undone

Ted didn’t want to babysit Bill’s daughter. He didn’t like Bill, and Bill didn’t like him. Why did he have to be the only one in the office who was free for the weekend? Alice didn’t exactly want to be babysat either. She’s too old for that!

Little did Ted and Alice know how much fun they were going to have.

(AU wherein Alice has not dated Deb yet, Bill hasn’t divorced yet either; MASSIVE SPOILERS for BoJack Horseman Season 3 and Moulin Rouge! are discussed)

Friday Prologue | Saturday Chapter | Sunday Chapter | Monday Epilogue

Alice woke up fairly well-rested Saturday morning, forgetting for a second that she wasn’t in her own house.

Ted Spankoffski’s house had 3 bedrooms. One was a master bedroom where Ted slept and also did any other non-CCRP related work. Another was a room where Ted’s nerdy brother stayed for the Summer; ever since Ted got himself a house, his younger brother would stay over at his place during holidays and academic breaks.

Then there was the spare guest bedroom Alice was in where Ted had to set up for her the previous evening. It was very plain.

She went downstairs, explored a little, then found no one. She went back up, knocking on Ted’s bedroom door. No response.

Alice then decided to wash up instead, to feel fresh in the morning. She did all the work in the downstairs bathroom (Ted specifically told her to use that particular bathroom), leaving it as neat as it was before she came to the house.

She tried to knock on the door again, the increased strength of her rapping revealing to her that the room had not been locked, or closed properly for that matter.

She peeked in to find Ted who was still asleep, clutching a laptop like a stuffed toy. His shirt, boxers, and socks tied together with his slumped figure, which also seemed intertwined with the bedsheets. There were used tissues all over the bed, some on the floor making a trail to a semi-used paper towel roll. There were an empty bowl and two empty beer bottles on the bedside table. It reeked of Corona and clearly imported Honey Butter Chips.

Alice stepped in to try to wake Ted up, but the floor creaking below her was enough to make him jolt awake.

“Who the fu-“ Ted calmed down from the shock of waking up so suddenly, “A-Alice?!  Shit, I forgot you’re here,”

“I-Is there anything I can eat?”

Ted rose from his position, sitting upward on his bed, “...are you allergic to eggs? Milk?”

“No, I’m not allergic to either.”

“Good,” Ted yawned, getting up and stretching, “because my fridge is fucking empty.”

“I noticed.”

That was hyperbole...sort of. The only breakfast that could be made from Ted’s pantry was egg toast and cereal. There was enough for both of them to finish all of said egg toast and cereal.

“What were you watching last night?” Alice asked Ted, playing with her fruit loops a little.

“Hm?” He swallowed the last bite of his toast with instant coffee.

“You were crying for about thirty minutes; I couldn't sleep-”

“I-It was a sad episode, alright?!” Ted was slightly embarrassed, hesitating to take another sip of coffee, “That fucking baby seahorse will never know...”

Alice raised a brow, unaware of the reference. She ate some more cereal.

“Don’t give me that look, Alice!” That was Bill’s glare, alright, “BoJack Horseman is a very good show!”

“And you binged the whole thing last night?”

“It’s the new season. I’ve got two episodes left before I finish.” Ted then proceeded to chug down what was left of his coffee.

“My laptop died during my binge but it was late and I was just,” He blew a raspberry, “...I needed to sleep.”

“I’ve done that before, not gonna lie,” Alice place down the spoon, done with her breakfast, “Though, the show I watched was kinda...yeah, it was kinda shitty,”

“Let me guess: you’ve watched it because someone hot’s in it,”

Alice blushed, “I-It’s not just that!”

“Hey hey hey,” Ted chuckled, “I’m guilty of that, I ain’t judging.”

Alice hmphed, “Should I watch that—what’s that show?”

“BoJack Horseman?”

“Yeah.”

“Hm,” Ted then began cleaning up by taking Alice’s utensils, stacking them with his, “it starts weak but gets so much better, like real fucking better. Dunno if you’re old enough to watch it though,”

“I’ve seen some pretty adult stuff! Mom makes me watch Tarantino movies with her, at least whenever Dad's not around sometimes,"

Ted nodded at Alice’s mother’s taste in film, “Aight, but that show just...it just hits somewhere really hard when you’re in your early thirties full of regret and with no discernible life direction but, hey! If you can take it, I’d be impressed.”

Alice blinked, “What? Is it like, psychological horror? The kind rooted in some comedically timed socio-political commentary?”

“Well, arguably.” Ted then got up to bring the dishes in his hands into the kitchen.

“...where can I find it?” She asked with mild interest.

“Netflix,” The sound of dishes landing in a sink was heard from Alice’s seat, “It’s a cartoon too, and like, about a bunch of animals, if those kinds of things float your boat.”

Alice never made it past Episode 1 when she tried to watch it herself, convinced Ted’s taste was shit. Personally, she will regret that.

The rest of that morning left Alice and Ted to their own individual devices. Alice typed away some interesting plots and ideas on her phone. Ted went to finish the last episodes of that sad horse show.

An hour before the time Alice would usually eat lunch, she had been cycling around various plotlines for a potential...well, something. Alice knew she just had to write something.

She was in the living area of the house when she heard Ted sloppily walk down the stairs. His eyes were teary.

"Are you alright, Mr. Spankoffski?" She looked at him with concern.

Ted shakily neared her, hesitating to sit on the couch next to her. He instead placed a languid hand on one of the couch's armrests.

"Please don't die on me, Alice, oh my God..."

He broke into sobs. Alice could only stare at this behavior in confusion.

"Did something bad happen in the show, or...?"

"Fuck, it got worse!" He sniffled, "A-And not, like, n-not in a bad writing context--that show's writing is the shit, Alice! But fuck! F-Fuck!"

Sarah Lynn was not supposed to die, but she did die and the fact left Ted devastated. A part of him knew it was gonna happen as he saw the old man, er, horse, and the poor girl in the motel, missing the Oscars. (Then again, that show had a penchant for hollowing, tragic endings per episode.)

Even in entertainment, in his favorite shows to watch, Ted Spankoffski knew better than to hope. It was more realistic for him.

"You can sit down," Alice moved aside to give Ted space to sit.

Ted cried as he sat next to her, "God, I'm sorry y-you had to see me like this,"

"I've...I-I've had worse breakdowns over a show. I-It's all good."

TV and Movie homophobia still haunted the teenage girl.

It's things like that, whether extravagant or subtle in delivery, that prompted her to write and clarify in any way that she could if only to fight. Alice Woodward was the kind of girl who refused to despair.

"Yeah, A-Alice?"

"Mhm," She nodded, quickly writing "character gets sucked into a tv show???" in her phone's Notes app.

"What if we watched something less depressing instead? You can watch it with me, Alice!" Ted breathed, "You're not bored, are you?"

She added "literally? figuratively? ehhh let the watchers decide??? kshfukdhivg" then kept her phone.

"No! N-No, I know how to keep myself, um, b-busy," Alice then shifted herself into a more comfortable position, "What movies do you have?"

Ted paused before answering, realizing he was hungry.

“You pick,” He said, getting up, “You want pizza with that?”

Alice nodded eagerly, watching Ted head for his phone.

“Wait, what am I supposed to pick?”

“There’s a bunch of CD cases in the drawer under the center table—it’s right in front of you!” Ted's voice decrescendoed as he headed upstairs.

“Drawer?” Alice wondered to herself, bending down to inspect the described center table. There was in fact a drawer.

She pulled it open to find bunches of CD cases, charging wires, and what clearly seemed to be unusable gadgets or “e-junk” as her father would, in a terribly corny way, put it.

Alice noticed a notable amount of movie musicals in one bundle of CD cases. The one that got her attention was Moulin Rouge!, unfamiliar with the title and very taken by the red-haired beauty printed on the cover. There was Jesus Christ Superstar, West Side Story, Rocky Horror Picture Show, and a bunch of Disney Princess movies. Upon further inspection of the non-musical movies, Ted had a diverse taste in film, though it was primarily pretty basic in Alice's opinion, minus a few exceptions.

She closed the drawer, further inspecting the Moulin Rouge CD cover by reading the synopsis on the back. An aspiring writer falls in love with a courtesan but other things get in the way? Alice could not blame the writer, in fact, she was quick to identify with him, even if she had not seen the movie yet.

“Alice?” Ted called from upstairs, “Are you allergic to anything I should know?”

“No,” She called back, playing with the CD cover.

“Good! I’m getting us a Bacon Surprise,”

“Alright,” Apparently Ted chose to order from that  Witchwood Ovens Shop downtown.

“What movie do you wanna watch?” Ted asked as he went back down. Alice showed him the CD cover.

“Moulin Rouge?” He mispronounced, “I actually have that in there?”

Alice handed the cover to Ted as he approached her, “I don’t think I’ve seen this one,”

“No shit, Alice. This movie’s got prostitution; if I know your Dad enough,” He stared at the cover, trying to remember when he got it, "he would make sure you'd never see it. God, I remember seeing this in the theater, like, when I was about your—h-how old are you again?"

"Fifteen, but I'll be sixteen later this year,"

"Eh, close enough," Ted then placed the CD cover down, ready to set up the television set in the living room.

"Nicole Kidman, man..." Ted dusted the CD player, plugging the TV into it, "She was the fucking best in that thing."

"Do you even know what happens in it?" Alice asked as she watched Ted at work, "Or were you just hoping Nicole Kidman would step on you?"

"Don't you fucking shame me, Alice!" Ted gasped back as he blushed, "If you had any taste in women, you'd want the same Goddamn thing."

Ted guessed correctly, keeping the girl from returning his snark.

It was around the Elephant Love Medley when the pizza arrived. Ted was kind enough to pause for Alice as he went to get the pizza. Alice was still recovering from the exhilaration of the past few songs, overwhelmed with the crowd-like effect of the cheesy-Jukebox mashups that introduced Christian to that infamous dancehall, the gratuitous use of slow-mo effects, and the ridiculous use of that Can-Can. It was "Spectacular Spectacular" indeed!

Alice almost choked on her pizza during the Like A Virgin scene. It was also very clear to her, as they watched, that Ted must've forgotten a lot of what had happened in the film given some of his reactions. Ted cursed The Duke repeatedly, particularly at that scene when he found out about the true nature of Christian's play.

Ted believed that he should've seen Satine dying coming. He saw this movie before. The movie literally said so right at the start!

Why, as he watched, did he want that happy ending when the opposite was inevitably going to happen?!

Something about Satine charmed Ted, in a particularly nightmarish way. The idea of further thinking about it was repressed repeatedly, refusing to confront the roots of it all. Surely it was just him being a horny bastard, right? Right?

This totally had nothing to do with the fact that Satine had vibrant red hair, cerulean eyes, polished milky skin, and a beautiful figure.

This totally had nothing to do with how familiar this fictional character seemed to be, resembling someone Ted remembered with intense, bittersweet longing.

This totally had nothing to do with the sight of Satine breathing her last breath on a bed of roses reminding Ted of a memory that he swore hadn't happened yet.

Or it did happen?

Why debate when it happened when it shouldn't have happened at all? It wasn't supposed to happen, whatever that thing was that Ted didn't need to remember at the moment. And yet...

She didn't make a sound. Heartbreak was never so loud.

Alice's sniffling brought Ted back to reality. Ted put a hand on her shoulder.

"God, I-I look so stupid," Alice chuckled out from her tears, rubbing her teary eyes, "they literally say it in the beginning, ugh!"

Ted coddled her closer to him so he could hug her but Alice recoiled back.

"T-Thanks, but we both smell like pizza," Ted nodded back in response.

As he cleaned up the living area, he asked Alice, "How was the movie?"

"It was pretty cheesy," She pulled out her phone again, inspired to write, "but kinda fun? Like, you don't get fun movies with this much energy, at least, when I try to compare, well. You know what I mean."

"Yeah," Ted replied absent-mindedly, "It certainly brings back memories of, well,  certain times."

"I think it kinda comes off as an epic-like piece,"

"No need to wax academic, Alice,"

"You asked for it!"

"I asked about how it was, not for an essay about its themes and shit!" Ted straightened himself up with a chuckle, "It's just a movie, after all."

"It hits different though," She spat back, focused now on her phone.

Witchwood Oven Shop pizzas were notably heavier on the stomach compared to their competitors. Any leftover pizza the two had for lunch that day, Ted proceeded to reheat for dinner. He scavenged his refrigerator for any packs of instant lemonade, which were thankfully there, and prepared two glasses for the two of them.

It was a shitty excuse for dinner, but Alice didn't seem to mind. She was very concentrated on her phone.

"What'cha writing about?"

Alice tilted her phone as to hide it, "It's not really much yet. It's all a bunch of prompts so far."

"You can pitch me stuff," He swallowed a bite, "Which ones really get to you?"

"Well," She hesitated.

"Well?"

"I-I've got a traveling adventure in a fancy, cultured but mysterious new town..."

"Anything else?"

"Still deciding whether I should make it a horror or a comedy. Besides that, it's all gonna rest on a foundation of romance between our main character, and, well..."

"Who?"

"I don't know! It's all I got so far!"

"Hey, it's not bad," Ted sipped his lemonade, "You know, I bet with enough time, it can become something really fucking great. I'd be invested if this was a movie or a staged production of sorts, I don't know,"

"Y-You think it's good, Mr. Spankoffski?"

"Oh hell yeah," He placed the glass down, "Not to be cheesy, but romance really gets me."

"Yeah, same."

"Have you considered making it some sort of horror-comedy romance? I would love it if you could pull it off."

[animefan299110]

My RWBY Future Predictions

Backstory: Salem and her goonies are defeated (with the exception of Emerald, who realized her mistake to trust Cinder and aided Team RWBY and their comrades) and Ozpin’s soul has left Oscar’s body.

10 years later...

Ren:

Ren walks around the remade and repoluated Kuroyuri.  He smiles at how his childhood town was returned to it’s former glory.

???: Hey Ren.

Ren turns to see his wife running towards him and smiles.

Ren: Hey Nora; how are things on the south end?

Nora: Great! You good on the north end?

Ren: Yes, no sign of Grimm anywhere.

Nora: Great.  By the way, there’s something I want to tell you...something important.

Ren: What is it?

Nora: Ren...I’m pregnant.

Ren: That’s...That’s incredible!

Ren wraps her arms around her and spins her around.

Weiss:

Weiss (riding in a car while talking on her Scroll): And how are our factories in the south, Mr. Coal?

Mr. Coal: Doing well, Mrs. Schnee.  Production is right on schedule and the workers are reported to have been well treated.

Weiss: Glad to hear.  Thank you for letting me know, Mr. Coal.  Tell Flynt I said hi.

Mr. Coal: Will do, Mrs. Schnee. (hangs up)

The car arrives at a lavish mansion. Weiss steps out and smiles at how well she’s maintained her life.  Upon entering, she is greeted by a butler with white hair and a kind smile.

Weiss: Good afternoon, Klein.

Klein: Good afternoon to you, my dear.

???: Mother!

Weiss looks up the stairs to see a little girl running down the grand stairs. She smiles and swoops the girl into her arms.

Weiss: Hello Willow, how was your day?

Willow: Great. And yours?

Weiss: Things are well with the company. Did your father behave himself today?

???: Yes, he did.

Weiss turns to see her husband smiling at her and combing his fingers through his blue hair.

Weiss: Oh really?

Neptune: Yep; didn't look at any women at all today. Besides, (walks up to Weiss) the girl I need to look at is you.

Weiss gives a small smile and pecks him on the lips.

Willow: Mother, will you be able to come to my ballet recital this tomorrow?

Weiss: Yes, I was able to push some things over and I'll be able to there with your father.

Willow: Yah!

Blake:

Blake sighs as she writes out her speech for the next United Races meeting, a organization comprised of representatives from each race to discuss and aid those in need. Blake helps to represent Faunus and their rights. Though they still had a ways to go, relations between humans and Faunus have gotten better since the death of Salem.

The sound of her window opening catches her attention. She looks up just in time to see her husband leap through the open window.

Blake: sigh Would it kill you to use the front door?

Sun: Give me credit; at least I'm not crashing through the roof. Anyways, I thought I'd bring you lunch (holds up a picnic basket) and (turns around to show a little girl with cat ears clinging to his shirt) lil' Melanie wanted to see you.

Melanie: Hi Mommy.

Blake (smiling): Hi Sweetie.

Sun opens the basket and pulls out a bento box and hands it to Blake. He then pulls out a sandwich for Melanie before getting a bento box for himself.

Sun: So how are things going with that speech?

Blake: Almost done; just have to make a few revisions. I should still be able to join you and Melanie for dinner at Mom and Dad's.

Melanie: Yah! Dinner at Grandma and Grandpa's!

Sun and Blake chuckle/giggle at their daughter's cuteness.

Sun: And Emerald is set to be your escort?

Blake: Yes (her features sadden a bit) I feel bad for her, though. She still feels as if she needs to redeem herself for all that she's done. Personally, I feel like she already redeemed herself by helping us defeat Salem.

Sun: When she feels that she has redeemed herself, we'll be there for her. (Blake nods in agreement) By the way, we received a letter in the mail from Ilia. Seems like she and Coco are doing well in Vale.

Blake: I'm just glad she was able to find someone who could make her happy.

Sun: Just like you.

Blake: Yes.

She walks over to Sun and kisses him lovingly.

Jaune:

At the newly built Beacon Academy...

Jaune: Remember, being a leader means having to look out for your teammates. You also need to interact with them; find things to do that you all enjoy. Having good relations with your teammates can help strengthen the bond between you and the others.

The bell rings for the end of classes.

Jaune: Okay; remember. On Monday, I want your journals handed in. I want to see what activities and interactions you and your have done.

The class leaves and Jaune turns to the blackboard to wipe off the chalk.

???: Nice end to the lesson, Professor Arc.

Jaune (not turning around): Ah; Professor Xiao Long. I take it Combat Training went well today?

Yang: Yep; knew that pack of Boarbatusks would be useful one day.

Jaune (smirking): Always one to make things harder for the first years, huh?

Yang: They need to learn quick. Otherwise, they won't learn at all.

Jaune (turning around): Whatever you say, Ya- (stops when he sees Yang wearing something similar to the combat outfit she wore as a student)

Yang: Yeah; I figured I'd throw on something retro. A little blast from the past. So what do you think?

Jaune: What do I think? (places both hands on the table behind Yang, trapping her) I think we better get out of here before my fiance sees you.

Yang laughs as Jaune kisses her neck.

Jaune: It looks great, Sunshine.

Yang: Knew you'd like it, Lover Boy.

They kiss passionately with Jaune's hands grabbing Yang's butt cheeks. Yang responds by wrapping her legs around his waist and running her fingers through his hair.

???: Ahem.

Jaune and Yang stop their kissing and look at the front door to see Glynda Goodwitch, the headmistress of Beacon Academy, glaring at them.

Glynda: While I do not mind if you two show affection for each other, I will ask that you do not show it in the classrooms, even when students aren't around.

Jaune: S-Sorry professor. Won't happen again.

Glynda: Hmph. (walks away)

Jaune: phew That was close.

Yang: Yeah; maybe we should take this somewhere more...private. I know a nice apartment we can use.

Jaune: Well then, (holds out his hand) lead the way.

Ruby:

Ruby walked through the woods after taking care of a Grimm problem in Mistrel. There were still Grimm roaming the land, even after Salem's defeat. But they were few and scarce, so the jobs were becoming easier.

She soon sees a house with a garden. As she comes out of the woods, she smiles when she sees the door opened.

???: Mommy!

A six year old boy named Dipper and a three old girl named Pyrrha rush out. Ruby scoops both of them up and hugs them.

Pyrrha: Mommy, I ate a bug today.

Ruby: Oh really? Does that mean your dad's been cooking again? (whispers) Don't tell him I said that.

???: I heard that.

Ruby's husband walks out the door, leans down, and kisses Ruby.

???: Hi Ruby.

Ruby: Hi Oscar. (looks down at their kids) Hey you two, why don't you both get ready for dinner?

Dipper and Pyrrha: Okay.

As the kids race into the house, Oscar hugs Ruby into his chest, which she gladly returns.

Oscar: So how was the job?

Ruby: Good; the Grimm were easy to deal with.

Ruby then notices Oscar looking down at her and smiling.

Ruby: What is it?

Oscar: Just counting my blessings. (he kisses her) I love you, Rubes.

Ruby: I love you too, Cookie.

[pugoata]

Day 7 - Growing Old Together/Future

Nora was huge.

Blake could see Yang’s look of mild alarm, and squeezed her hand. But even her size couldn’t stop Nora. She took one look at them, squealed excitedly, and bustled over, and Blake had the vague impression that she and Yang were only pins to this red-headed bowling ball.

“It’s been so long!” Nora exclaimed, throwing her arms around both of them at once, her belly sliding between them as if the gap had been made for it. “I never see you anymore!”

“It is harder now that you haven’t been able to go on missions,” Blake replied, shooting Yang a smile. “We’ve been keeping up with your pictures, though.”

Nora laughed. “Well, I haven’t had much else to do other than take pictures. I’m thinking I should just quit huntressing altogether and just become a food photographer or something.”

As she talked, her hand moved to her stomach, settling there with idle protectiveness. New habits popped up with pregnancy, and that slight movement was familiar enough to Nora to be one of them. Yang’s eyes lingered on her hand just a bit too long, the gaze soft, and her hand twitched, though only Blake noticed that subtle shift. Before anyone else could, she snapped her attention back to Nora’s face with a relaxed smile.

“I somehow doubt that. You’re not good at sitting still.”

“And the pregnancy definitely hasn’t changed that,” Ren said with a sigh, coming up to them. “Good to see you.”

“Congratulations, dad,” Yang said, lightly punching his arm. “Thanks for inviting us.”

“Well, technically, it was Weiss who did that,” he corrected, gesturing with his head to where Weiss stood amid a gaggle of their friends. “She organized this whole thing.”

“She would,” Yang replied, amused. The formality of the invitations alone had led them to thinking that Weiss had played some role in the baby shower; the foil font, the embossing, all screamed Weiss. If it had been Nora’s doing, Blake figured there probably would have been more colors and more confetti. “She’s always loved anything that had to do with babies.”

“Ugh, well, once he’s born, she’s welcome to him. I’ve had enough of the heartburn.” Nora made a face, then leaned in. “And my tits feel like they’re gonna explode.”

Unexpectedly, Blake laughed, and though Yang smiled drolly, she didn’t join in. Again, Blake squeezed her hand.

“Well, I gotta make the rounds. We’ll catch up in a bit, okay?” Nora grinned at them, gave them one more belly-bumping hug, and marched off, a pronounced waddle in her step.

“Rounds,” Yang snorted, watching Nora go straight to the snacks. “Well, some things don’t change.”

“She woke me up in the middle of the night last week to make her a fruit salad,” Ren replied with a sigh. “And then she cried because there were blueberries in it.”

At this, Yang did laugh. “Other than that, everything’s going well?” Blake asked.

“The doctor says it’s a textbook pregnancy,” he replied, and a small smile curled on his lips. “But we’re both ready for him to come out. Nora’s just about had enough with being pregnant.”

“I could see that,” Blake murmured.

“So, you’re ready?” Yang repeated, almost skeptical. “I didn’t know that was a thing.”

“Probably not.” Ren laughed. “I don’t think we could ever be as ready as we’d want to be. But the love’s ready, and that’s the most important part. We’ll figure the rest out as we go.”

“You make it sound easy.” Blake’s words were light, but a touch dry. Yang, sensitive to her tones, looked up at her with a raised eyebrow.

“Well, it can’t be any harder than taking down an evil, immortal queen.” Ren chuckled at his own joke. “It hasn’t been easy, and it’s only going to get harder once the baby’s here, but it’s not really different than fighting on a team. We’ll work together and we’ll flourish, just like we’ve always done.”

Ren’s words were so calm, so confident, that Blake couldn’t help but feel a little more at ease. He’d always been the sensible one, and he wouldn’t say something he didn’t mean. It was steadying, in a way, even though he didn’t know it.

“Oh, we brought this.” Blake held up the gift bag, decorated with pastel animals. “Where should we put it?”

“Oh, thank you. Weiss has a table set up for gifts, but I can take it there. I need to greet a few more people, anyway.” He smiled again as he took the bag. “I’m so glad you could come.”

“We wouldn’t miss it for the world!” Yang gave him one more light punch on the arm. “Dad.”

After he set off down the hall, Blake and Yang moved across the living room, hand in hand. Most of the people here were ones they recognized; Ruby, Weiss, Jaune and his date, Oscar, and, outside by the pool, the entirety of Team CFVY. Other huntsmen, too, more acquaintances than friends to Blake and Yang, milled around, making smalltalk. For not having any blood family, Nora and Ren had filled their house with family of their own making.

“I hope Weiss isn’t going to make us do any of those stupid baby shower games,” Blake commented as she dug around in a tub of drinks and ice. She grabbed a cider for herself. “Want anything to drink?”

“Just a water. Thanks, babe.” She took it, though she didn’t uncap it yet. She scanned the crowd, looking for other people she recognized. “Oh, hey, Saph! Gods, Adrian, how old are you now?”

Blake sat back, letting Yang take the reins on the conversations. Even now, Yang could carry on like nothing was different. She still spoke just as naturally with others, still laughed in the same way. Really, it had only when she’d spoken to Nora that Blake had seen some of her anxiety poke through. While they had talked, Yang had lifted a hand inward, making as if to touch her own stomach in the comfortable way Nora had done. Just as quickly, Yang’s hand had settled back by her side, nothing different.

As Yang talked, Blake put together a small plate of crackers, deli meats, and the blander cheeses. Anything smellier than cheddar was bound to make Yang’s stomach roil, and they wouldn’t risk that at the party. Blake gave a regretful look to the wedge of Roquefort cheese before making her way back to Yang.

“Hungry?” she asked Yang, holding up the plate.

“You know it!” With a final nod to the Cotta-Arcs, they wove their way through the other guests, making their way outside. “God, I’m hungry.”

“And we just ate lunch.”

“So?” Yang plopped herself onto a chair by the patio table, giving a brief wave to Coco and the others before zeroing in on her food. “Well, at least I’ve got a reason for it. Ruby has no excuse. Did you see her shoving that whole cupcake in her mouth? She’s gonna choke.”

Blake took the chair beside her, content to watch as Yang piled cheese and pepperoni on one of the crackers. She was one to talk about choking, she thought, amused, as Yang popped the whole thing in her mouth.

“So? Is it weird for you?” Yang asked when she’d finished chewing. Already, she was making up another cracker.

“For?”

Yang looked over her shoulder at Team CFVY and lowered her voice. “You sounded a little nervous when we were talking to Ren.”

“Oh.” Blake shrugged. “Well… I don’t know. You know how I am.”

Smiling, Yang nodded and bit into her cracker. She chewed it thoughtfully, then swallowed. “It’s all right to be nervous. Hell, seeing Nora like that makes me nervous. Am I gonna be that big?”

“You could be twice that size and still be beautiful,” Blake teased, propping her elbow on the table and resting her chin in her hand. “Seriously.”

“You have to say that ‘cause we’re married.” Yang laughed. “But, still. It looks uncomfortable, and she’s still got another month. I can’t even imagine--”

“You were the one who wanted to carry,” Blake pointed out.

“I know, I know. I’m just teasing. I’m not changing my mind or anything.”

“Good, since you can’t.”

With a wicked grin, Yang placed a daring palm against her abdomen, finally giving in to that tempting touch. Her back was to Team CFVY, so nobody else was there to question her. Still, Blake looked around worriedly. Someone else’s baby shower would be a bad time to announce their own pregnancy, and it was still early enough that they didn’t want to publicize the news yet.

“So?” Yang asked softly. “In a few months, we’ll be having a baby shower of our own.”

“And Weiss will be begging to emboss the invitations.”

At this, Yang laughed, loud enough to draw the attention of Team CFVY. Fortunately, she’d taken her hand off her stomach, and when Coco looked at them over her shades, there was only amusement, not suspicion.

“Something funny, Xiao Long?” Coco called.

“Oh, we’re just laughing at Weiss’s expense again.” Yang waved her hand dismissively. Coco rolled her eyes and pushed her sunglasses back up.

“Just like every other day.”

Yang snorted at this, then turned back to her food. Blake nabbed a cracker and nibbled on it. They ate in silence for a few minutes, the music and the chatter of the party inside comfortably dull. She knew they’d have to go in at some point, to face Ruby and Weiss and deal with whatever party games they were forced to play, but for now, they could enjoy the peace and sunshine. For just these few minutes, it was only them.

“Yang?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think we’re ready?”

Yang’s brows quirked at the question as she swallowed her last bite of crackers. “Well,” she said slowly, “I don’t think we would’ve gone through it if we weren’t.”

Despite her anxiety, Blake smiled. “Oh, I know. It’s just… Seeing them, in there… it’s different. Like... it wasn’t real before. But seeing them… I’m starting to see it now.”

“I know what you mean.” Yang’s smile was gentle. “It’s easy to envision it one way, but seeing it in person really makes you nervous about it. I mean, when Nora said that thing about her boobs--”

Blake laughed, which Yang had seemed to be going for. Her smile brightened. “But like Ren was saying… we’re a team. And as a team, we can handle whatever life throws at us. Even if our baby acts like a little Ursa sometimes, it’s something I know we can manage. Even on our hardest days, there’ll always be love. That’ll get us through.”

“Yeah.” Blake’s mouth had gone dry, but she leaned in anyway, brushing a kiss against Yang’s lips. “There’ll always be love.”

With a quick glance at CFVY, Blake slipped a hand onto Yang’s stomach. For now, her abs were still tight and sculpted. There was no sign of life underneath them, though she knew that would change. They’d listened to the heartbeat at their first appointment, that strange new sound that would soon bring a different kind of purpose to their lives.

For the brief time they’d been able to hear it, Blake could almost see the future. With the sound of that heartbeat in her ears, she could envision Yang months from now, sweaty and exhausted, bringing their child into the world. She could imagine holding this child-- their child-- in their arms, rocking them to sleep, reading them books, watching them grow...

But for now, Yang’s stomach kept the truth hidden. For now, their baby was little more than a new thought. For now, it was a secret for them alone.

“We should probably go in,” Blake finally said, dragging her hand away from that growing life. “Be good guests, or whatever.”

“So overrated,” Yang said, with a sigh, pushing her chair back. “At least we can take notes of what we don’t want Weiss to do, right?”

“Right.” Blake laughed. Yang gave her another kiss, then led her back into the house, and they readied themselves against the excitement and bubbly happiness that the baby shower would bring. Soon, that same happiness would be theirs. Still holding her hand, Yang looked back at her, her smile open and bright.

Scratch that.

It already was.

[this-is-freeridge]

The Air Between Us

Chapter Seven: Mari turns eighteen and Oscar finally lets her in.

Warning: this fic deals with dark themes, including but not limited to teen pregnancy, rape, drug abuse, murder, abortion, underage drinking and underage sex.

Read the other chapters here

I wrote 90% of this when I was sick and by the time I finished I couldn’t be bothered going back to proofread so I apologise if parts of it don’t make sense.

The Martinez house was full - Mari didn’t know this many people could fit in this tiny four-bedroom. That was part of the problem though. It was Saturday night, Mari’s birthday. Abuelita had made her a gorgeous dress - deep red, crushed velour with spaghetti straps and a hem that fell just above the floor - though Ruby took part of the credit as he bragged about how he snaked Mari’s phone and scrolled her Pinterest boards for inspiration. She felt beautiful, like a star, she was far from the centre of attention.

Most everyone here was extended Martinez family and Ruby’s friends and while she appreciated the effort Ruby had made, she really didn’t know what to do with herself. When people would come to speak to her, it was usually a friend or family member of Geny’s who only wanted to get the scoop on Ruben’s long lost daughter.

She felt suffocated and overwhelmed, but at the same time she felt alone. She couldn’t shake the feeling that she had eyes on her everywhere she went, yet no one seemed to be taking the time to get to know her. She never thought she’d miss the birthdays she spent alone at her mother’s house, but at least there, she didn’t feel like a sideshow act.

She hadn’t heard from her mother since the other day, though she also had made a point of not answering private numbers. She blocked her mother’s number and she didn’t mention to anyone because she didn’t want to make a big deal of it. She was fine here, at least that’s what she kept telling herself.

“Fuck,” she muttered to herself as she glanced around the room, desperate for a distraction, something to keep her mind occupied, her hands busy and her nerves down.

Just as the thought crossed her mind, Jasmine - one of Ruby’s classmates that she had met earlier tonight - walked past with a plate of what looked like mini fajitas.

‘Food, perfect!’ She thought, reaching out an arm to stop Jasmine.

“Girl,” she said, taking the plate from Jasmine’s hands, “gimme that food,”

Without hesitation, Mari bit the fajita off the toothpick in one clean bite. And then the second, and the third. And the fourth. And the-

“Damn, girl!” Jasmin said with a smile. “I gotta admit, you looked like another one of them skinny bitches but shit, you can eat! Oh, but girl, don’t worry; I’m into it, I’m into it,”

“Jasmine, these are so good!” Mari said, eating a few more. She liked Jasmine, the girl seemed genuinely interested in knowing Mari - when she wasn’t trying to get the goss, anyway.

“I know right!” Jasmine replied, popping one in her mouth, “my mom made them a couple weeks ago and she was just going to throw them out but I was like damn, what a waste! So I just reheated ‘em girl, no big deal,”

Mari stopped eating immediately. “Wait, weeks? Jasmine, this is chicken - how old are these?”

Jasmine shrugged, “like two, three weeks? Don’t worry though, I heated them up for lunch yesterday, they’re fine!”

“Yesterday? How many times have they been reheated?” Mari shook her head, “actually, no. I don’t wanna know,”

Resigning herself to the fact that she probably just contracted salmonella or something,  Mari headed for the bathroom.

“Mari!”

Ruby. She really didn’t know if she could deal with his right now - there were too many people she didn’t know staring and whispering about her and she just ate three-week-old chicken.

“Ruby, I’m pretty sure I just got food poisoning from Jasmine’s chicken fajitas so I really need to go and vomit now,” she said, exasperated. She didn’t mean to be rude, but she was over it. “Is this important?”

“No, that’s perfect!” Ruby said, eyes lighting up. He grabbed a nearby chair and climbed onto it, standing so that he could yell above the crowd, “Yo, everyone! Mari ain’t feeling well so she’s gonna go throw up! I’d avoid the bathroom until she comes out!”

Mari gaped at him until he clambered back down.

“Ruby, what the hell?”

“It’s fine,” he said as he opened the bathroom door and shoved her inside, “have fun!”

The door closed behind her and she stood for a moment, unsure what the hell just happened, and then she noticed something.

To the side of the window that was opposite the door, there was a piece of lined notebook paper stuck to the wall. Written in colourful markers, that paper read “EXIT THIS WAY”, complete with hand-drawn arrows pointing to the window. Beneath that was a chair with another note atop it. She made her way over to the chair and picked up the sticky note.

The note read: I know it’s small, but it’s the only window without bars on it. Sorry! :(

Mari giggled and curiosity got the best of her. She dragged the chair to the window and, though it took a bit of contortion, she shimmied her way out. When she was finally outside (and breathing fresh air for what felt like the first time in years) she looked around and couldn’t help the laugh that escaped when she saw what was waiting for her.

Standing near the gate was Oscar, clad in his usual shorts and white socks, complete with a black wife-beater, but in his hands was a small cake with a handful of candles on top.

“Ruby thought you would be feeling a bit out of place,” Spooky said plainly, as though just the sight of him wasn’t making her heart beat so hard it could break her ribcage.

What was he doing here? After everything that had happened between them that week, the last thing she was expecting was Spooky to turn up.

“So he arranged me a...you? With a cake?” She asked with a laugh as she walked over to him.

“The cake was my idea,” he said and handed it to her, “it’s red velvet; the red colour comes from beetroot, sounds weird but it tastes good,”

She smiled down at the cake, too embarrassed to face him with her bright red face. He made her a cake? What was he doing to her?

“Well, Ruby knows me well,” Mari said, “I couldn’t wait to get out of there,”

Spooky gave a half shrug and offered a simple solution. “So, lets get out of here,”

From the moment he said it, Mari knew she shouldn’t leave with him. It would be rude - to Ruby, who planned this, and Geny, who was letting all these people trash her house, and Ruben who would be so worried - but the idea of going back in there made her throat close up. 

The answer was simple; she wasn’t about to pass up some time with Oscar.

“Let’s go,” she said with a nod and a smile. It was a bad idea, she was only going to cause herself more embarrassment and heartache, but he had this power over her and she couldn’t stay away.

“You look good in that dress, mami,” he said. He was taking care to stay about a foot away from her, but she didn’t miss the way he eyed her up and down, “real good,”

“Thanks, Abuelita made it for me,”

He cleared his throat and said, “it, uh, fits real well,”

“You didn’t have to do this,” she said.

“I wanted to,”

The line gave her all kinds of contradicting feelings; a deep heat in her stomach and a cold, icy hand that wrapped around her heart and squeezed.

She couldn’t keep this up, she needed to get over him and he wasn’t helping.

Mari stopped walking and turned to him. “Then what I mean is you can’t keep doing this,”

He paused and asked: “and why is that?”

And then he continued walking. With a sigh, Mari walked with him. Maybe this conversation would be easier if they weren’t facing each other.

“Surprising me,” she said, “the cake, telling me you aren’t involved, letting me know I look good. You know I’m into you and you’ve made it clear you aren’t into me. Doing all of this shit isn’t helping me get over you,”

At some point as she spoke they had reached Oscar’s house. The lights were on but the place was quiet; Mari suspected that this was a rare occasion no one was home. Spooky didn’t say anything as he unlocked the door. Neither did Mari.

Did she want to know what he was thinking? Yes. He looked so deep in thought though, cute frown on his face and a small pout, and Mari didn’t want to push him in case she pushed too hard and he put those walls up.

He led her inside and locked the door behind him. Oscar took the cake from Mari’s hands and set it on the kitchen bench on their way through. His hand was pressed against her lower back as they walked through the vaguely familiar hall to his room. His hand was warm and Mari was loving the feeling of his hands on her. The tingles were back.

“When did I say I wasn’t into you?” He asked as Mari sat on the edge of his bed, making herself comfortable.

“At the party, when I kissed you,” she answered.

He made his way over to her and sat beside her. This situation was all too familiar and she was starting to get antsy. Why did this feel so intimate?

Spooky looked at her, he was so close she could feel his warm breath on her face as he spoke. “I said it wasn’t a good idea; I never said I didn’t want it,”

“So...what are you saying now?”

“That,” Spooky shrugged and looked away, “maybe you triggered my chemical reaction too,”

It suddenly became too hot and Mari’s hands were getting clammy, her heart racing. What is he saying? She shut up as he continued.

“I didn’t know for sure at first, that I was into you. I knew you were fine,” he raked his eyes down her body, “and I knew I wanted a piece, but it wasn’t until I saw you at the store the other day. I was with you, and then she walked in and it just sorta clicked in my brain. I wasn’t interested in her. Not when you were around,”

Mari’s world was spinning. Her feelings were returned - she wasn’t crazy! She wanted to kiss him again, but she wouldn’t risk it yet. He had to make the first move this time.

Instead, she asked: “and what does that mean for us now?”

His answer broke her heart all over again.

“It means I still don’t think it’s a good idea,”

“Why?” She snapped. She couldn’t keep doing this. She wanted to leave, and she was definitely going to, but she needed answers to get closure, “Is it my age? My family? What is it?”

“It’s my life!” He yelled back, “You can’t be safe with me, Mari. The Prophet$...they’re unpredictable. Yeah, most of the time they won’t shoot when your woman is around, but that don’t mean they won’t use you to get to me. I won’t risk you,”

Mari wanted to argue, but she couldn’t. He had good reasons and she had to respect his decision.

But she couldn’t deny she still wanted him.

Maybe they couldn’t be together long-term, or in any sort of serious capacity, but did that mean they couldn’t be together at all? She wanted him, that much was simple, and he wanted her back.

“One night,” she said, turning to him and letting her hands rest on his knees, “just give me one night. I like you, you like me. Sex has never been presented to me as a positive thing and I want to change that. I want my first time to be with someone I trust. It doesn’t have to be a thing, no strings and...no feelings. Tomorrow we can act like nothing happened and go back to being just friends,”

“I don’t know, Mari,” he said, “Aren’t there already feelings,”

“So,” she said as she scooted closer, “call it closure,”

Oscar paused and glanced at her lips, covered in a thin layer of gloss all plump and shimmering. He knew it was a bad idea, but he wanted her. One night wouldn’t hurt, right? Closure. Right. One night with her and then he would know what it was like to be with her and he could finally get it out of his head.

Right?

The devil on his shoulder won out once again as he cupped her cheek and captured her lips with his. The gloss tasted like strawberry and her lips were softer than he had imagined. She let out a small whimper as she melted into the kiss. The sound urged Spooky on and he took it as an invitation to swipe his tongue across her lower lip and slide it into her mouth.

She fumbled a little but picked it up quickly as she returned the kiss with fervour. She pressed her body closer to his and he let his hand fall to her hips. He grabbed her tight and pulled her onto his lap as they kissed. She knelt across him, knees on either side of his legs and dress pushed up to her thighs.

Spooky’s hands found their way to her ass and slid under her dress, pushing the dress up further and grabbing handfuls of her thick backside as she started to slowly grind against him. Oscar’s hands fumbled with the zipper on her dress as he relished in the friction she was creating.

“Look at me, mami,” Oscar’s gravelly voice ordered, sending shivers down her spine. She obeyed, meeting his hooded eyes with her own.

He stood from the bed with her in his arms and kissed her once more before he set her down gently. The spaghetti straps slid over her shoulders and the dress fell to the floor in a cascade of crushed velour. In only a pair of peach, nylon-seamfree panties, she would’ve felt embarrassed were it not for the way Spooky’s eyes darkened with lust at the sight of her. Instinctually, she brought her arm up to cover her chest.

“Your turn,” she ordered, feeling brave despite her pounding heart.

Mari enjoyed the show as Oscar removed his own clothing. She noticed the way each of his muscles moved as he pulled the wife-beater over his head, revealing his tan skin. The sight sent heat pooling to her core, she could already feel the wetness between her legs. Once he was clad in only his briefs, he bridged the distance between them. His arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her body into his. Mari felt his erection press against her and she wondered briefly if he is going to be gentle with her. He took her face in his hands and pressed a soft kiss to her lips, that alone was enough to dispel any doubt.

Oscar’s blood boiled as he felt her breasts press against his chest. Her black hair was still perfectly curled, but her cheeks were rosy, her lipgloss was smeared and her lips were kiss-swollen. She was truly beautiful and for just a moment, he wondered what the hell she was doing here with him. He brushed the thought aside quickly. He couldn’t think of a time he had wanted anyone else this badly. He wanted to rip off that dress, turn her around and take her. If it were up to him he would have, but this wasn’t up to him. This was Mari’s night and he wanted to make sure he took his time worshipping her.

Feeling bold, she slid her hand down his chest, past his stomach to his growing bulge. She touched him gently at first, but the way he began to press into her hand urged her on. Mari closed her eyes and let her head drop to his shoulder so he couldn’t see her blush as her instincts took over and she moved her hand up and down. He moaned softly into her ear and she could feel his thick length pulse.

With a growl, he threw her back onto the bed, as she landed she let out a small giggle. The sound was music to his ears and he smiled as he climbed over her, propping himself up on his elbow. His free hand tangled in her hair and he pulled her back for another kiss. She tasted like cheap champagne and cherry lip gloss and it was addictive. He kissed her hard, with confidence, but she could feel the hesitation on his tongue as it glided over her own.

“Don’t do that,” she whispered against his lips. “Don’t hold back. Kiss me like you mean it,”

He didn’t need to be told twice. All hesitation gone, he kissed her like it might be the last chance he got. His hand left her hair and found its way to her knee. His fingertips tickled the skin of her inner thigh as it trailed higher, higher, until he found the elastic of her panties. Pushing them aside, he let his fingers slide over her wet heat.

Mari’s hips bucked into his hand, begging for more friction. She had never felt anything like this, her body was on fire in the best way. Oscar sucked and nipped at the skin of Mari’s neck, then slid his tongue over her skin to soothe it. He repeated this as his fingers entered her, doing his best to distract her from the unfamiliar sensation. She cried out, a little in pain but mostly in pleasure.

“Want me to stop?” Oscar mumbled against her ear.

Mari shook her head.

“No, I want it,” she said. He continued pumping in and out of her, slowly at first but picking up speed as her hesitant whines turned to needy cries. Her back arched off the bed, her eyes closed and her mouth slightly open. He couldn’t help but think about what it would be like to hear dirty words coming from that pretty mouth of hers. As much as he’d love it, he didn’t dwell on it. He wanted her to be comfortable, not pressured or pushed outside of her comfort zone.

A needy whimper escaped her lips when his fingers left her. She had never felt anything like that in her life, so euphoric and intimate and she never wanted it to end. Still, she couldn’t wait for what was still to come. When she glanced down, between her knees she could see the outline of his length straining against his briefs. From what she could make out it wasn’t too long, not that she had much to compare to, but he was thick and she wanted to feel him.

Oscar started to move off the bed and within a second Mari had grabbed his arm to stop him.

Where was he going? Was he having regrets? Did he not like it?

Mari’s mind, the part that is so afraid of rejection and being alone that she usually hides so well, was on overdrive.

“Where are you going?”

She hated the way her voice shook as she asked but then he looked at her with a soft smile, as though he was reading her mind. Warm, chapped lips met her forehead with a small kiss, something that felt both too innocent and too intimate in the moment.

“I’m getting a condom, baby,”

Mari tried to ignore the butterflies she got when he called her baby as she replied. “I’m on the pill, it’s okay,”

She wasn’t sure where the courage to say that came from, but she didn’t care when a cheeky smile spread across his face.

“You sure?” He asked, cocking an eyebrow in that way that makes Mari melt because she doesn’t understand how a single person can be that attractive. She could only nod, pulling him back to his position between her thighs.

She hooked her fingers around the band of his underwear, tugging them down as far as she could in his kneeled position. His cock sprang out of the cotton confines; he was bigger than she had thought and it excited her, but it also scared her. She bit her lip a little too hard to get rid of any hesitation and grabbed the base of his length, stroking him with a steady confidence, reminding herself it’s okay she has no skills because he already wants her.

Oscar hissed a “fuck” under his breath and, curious, Mari looked up at him to gauge his reaction. His brow was furrowed, but his mouth was slightly open and his deep brown eyes were staring at her with an intense hunger. Oscar made a low, guttural sound and grabbed Mari’s thighs hard. She almost hoped he’d leave bruises in the shape of his fingerprints so that when she wakes up tomorrow she has some tangible proof that this actually happened, for just one night she had him.

“Take off your panties,” he ordered and she was quick to obey, watching with a wanting gaze as he removed his own briefs. “Lie down,”

He hovered over her, forearm by her head to hold himself up.

“Is this okay?” He asked.

“Yeah,” she said, “this is good. I-Is this good for you? Don’t guys like-”

He cut her off with a kiss and she could feel him aligning himself with her entrance.

“I like this,” he said, “I want you to be comfortable,”

“Oh, okay,” she exhaled into a smile and wrapped her legs around Spooky, locking her ankles behind his back and pressing him into her. “I’d like you to fuck me now, Oscar,”

And then he kissed her again, though it wasn’t enough to completely distract from the sting of pain she felt as he presses into her. He filled her up completely and though it was a foreign feeling, she loved it.

“You good, mami?” He asked.

“Yeah, I- Oscar, I need more,” she whined, using her legs to pull him closer to her.

The pain persisted but Mari focused her attention on the feeling of Oscar’s tongue on her neck and the smell of cigars and Corona on his breath until she barely noticed the sting. She pressed a kiss to the Santos cross on his neck, tasting the sweat on his skin as she traced the ink with her tongue.

Oscar touched every inch of skin he could reach until he settled between her legs once more. He rubbed her with practiced movements while he thrusted into her, steadily losing the pace he had built up.

Mari’s orgasm crashed over her like a wave. She cried out, almost worried that the neighbours would hear but not caring enough to do anything about it. Her legs shook and her back arched off the bed as her nails raked down Oscar’s arms.

“Shit, Mari, I’m gonna fucking come,” he warned, and the sound that Mari made in response tipped him over the edge as he reached his climax, spilling into her.

Once he’d come down, he looked at her and brushed a stray curl from her face.

“How do you feel?” He asked, his eyes searching her face for an answer before she spoke.

Mari met his gaze and felt her face burn. “I feel good. I feel really good,”

He smiled and kissed her gently. She could still feel him inside her; was a strange feeling, stranger still when he pulled out of her - she felt disconnected, like the intimacy between them was gone and the curtain had been pulled back to expose the reality that they were still no more than friends. But that was her idea, so she has no right to feel so hurt about it. This was what she wanted, what she asked for, and he had been perfect.

Oscar took some time to clean her up with an old t-shirt that had been draped over a chair by his bed by a bookshelf (full of books that Mari wanted to ask about, but felt that wasn’t the time) before he went to his dresser and handed her a large tee. She felt a funny sense of deja vu - the last time he did that was right before he rejected her advances and now here they were.

“Thank you,” she said as she slipped it over her head.

He nodded and grabbed a half-smoked cigar from the ashtray atop the dresser. He had already put it between his lips and had started to light it when he spoke.

“The bathroom is just across the hall,” he said, and then, “you should probably go,”

Mari felt like a bucket of ice had just been poured over her as the words hit her.

Only friends. Just sex. She reminded herself.

“Okay, yeah, uh, I should get home,” she agreed, trying to act cool as she sat up in the bed and scanned the room to find her clothes, “everyone is probably wondering where I am,”

Spooky laughed. He sat on the side of the bed and pulled her to him. She hit his solid shoulder with a soft thud and let out a small “oof”.

He tilted her chin so that she was looking at him and scooped down to capture her lips in a languid kiss. It was different to all the others they had shared that night, somehow. It wasn’t as hasty, as needy, as desperate. It was slow, all plump lips and warm tongues, like a beautiful dance instead of the battle it had been before. She liked it and she couldn’t help but think that it didn’t feel like a one-last-time.

“Mariana,” he breathed her name as he broke the kiss, “I meant you should go to the bathroom, not go. I want you to stay tonight,”

And she wanted to stay too. So that’s just what she did. She ran to the bathroom and rushed back to him, not wanting to waste any of the time she had convinced him to allow her. That night, as she lay in his arms, she felt warm and safe and so very not alone. She couldn’t help but hope that, just for this perfect night, the nightmares wouldn’t come.

.

Taglist: @grayberrydolan @lostgirl219 @kseniainneverland @ravengreystone @weediskindabad @moistdollerbills @javoqetal @kenzie44469 @goddessate @blackdepressoexpresso @classyputa @babygirl-htx @wonderlandlovelove @agent-femmefatale @elliesshitofablog @daydreamer0307 @lucyfuh @harduy @elizabeth-santana-98 @lonelyyblues

Message me if you’d like to be added to the list - if you have already done so and haven’t been tagged it’s because Tumblr won’t let me, sorry!

Also, I just want to remind everyone that this is a side blog so if you have any questions about the story/plot/characters please send me an ask so I can reply xxx

[thewritenerd]

Victor and Adam: NaNoWriMo Day 27

(no day 26 as it was deleted)

Adam

After a sleepless night of sitting up in the too small hospital bed and being randomly grabbed and poked by the night nurse with no warning Adam spent the morning learning to play chess with an app on Victor’s tablet. When visiting hours arrived Victor came to see him just as he had promised. Justine came to. ‘How are you doing?’ she asked sitting down in the seat by Adam’s bad arm. ‘Fine.’ He answered. ‘Didn’t sleep last night. The bed’s too small.’ ‘Well never mind.’ Victor said taking a seat next to him. ‘It should only be one more night and you’ll be back at home with your own bed.’ He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of Adam’s earbuds. ‘Figured you’d want this.’ Adam took them with a nod of thanks. ‘Ah there it is.’ He turned his head to see Justine was holding a pen in the air. ‘Come on now I want to be the first to sign your cast.’ ‘Sign it?’ Adam asked confused. ‘Yeah. It’s traditional. Come on hold still.’ He watched as she began to write Justine on his arm in big blocky lettering. ‘There all done.’ She held the pen out to Victor. ‘You want to do it?’ she asked. He shook his head. ‘I don’t do that kind of thing.’ ‘You did it for Lizzie that one time.’ ‘Yes. When she was six and cried when I refused.’ Justine chuckled. ‘Okay you’ve got me there.’ She put the lid back of the pen and slipped it back into her bag. Victor also gave Adam a Tupperware box with two small pies inside. 

‘From Igor. He figured you could do with cheering up.’ Adam asked him to thank Igor for him and placed the box on the bedside table. The rest of the visit was spent with Adam and Victor playing chess while Justine watched. Not long after they left a doctor came to do another check up on Adam before lunch. When Adam saw the only thing they had were two kinds of sandwiches he was a bit disappointed. Reluctantly he chose the ham. When the lady had left he tried to take a bite out of it but ended up spitting it back out. No matter how much he tried he just couldn’t stomach bread. Not wanting to go hungry he pulled the meat out of the sandwich and ate that instead. Something didn’t taste right about it. As well as the sandwich he also had a tiny pot of yogurt, or maybe it just seemed tiny to him, and an apple. Adam’s apple, he thought laughing a little at his own joke. It was clear to him this place only did one portion size for their meals, which meant Adam who needed to eat a bit more than most, was still hungry when he’d finished. Turning to the pies Victor had brought him he pulled open the lid and grabbed one. Biting in he realised it was gooseberry, his favourite. Igor tended to not put a lot of sugar in his desserts so the pies were really sharp just how he liked them. Originally he’d planned to only eat one then save the second for tomorrow. But he’d been so hungry he’d ended up eating both. At least they seemed to do the job of filling him up. After lunch he tried to read one of the books Victor had brought for him but soon gave up. It may have been the painkillers and lack of sleep but Adam found as much as he liked Shakespeare’s poetry he couldn’t get his head around reading plays. Then again the similar names and constant name changing didn’t help. Seriously calling two characters Gumbo and Gambino or whatever their names were in the same story you were just asking to confuse people. Deciding to give up on reading Adam got the tablet back out and tried to find something to watch. He found a movie Nate had said was his favourite, Enter the Dragon, and decided to give it a watch only to quit out of boredom halfway through. He was just about to start looking for something else to watch when he heard someone knocking on the wall. Turning to see Chelsea, Nate, Shreya and Oscar standing there he felt his face break into the biggest grin of his, admittedly short, life. ‘Hey you miss us.’ Chelsea asked making nir way over and giving him an awkward one-armed hug. ‘Nah I’ve actually enjoyed the peace and quiet. Needed a break from you two bickering.’ He teased. Chelsea pulled a face at him and took the seat nearest the door. Shreya raced to the chair on the other side of the bed leaving Nate and Oscar to try and perch on the bed itself. ‘You got a pen?’ Shreya asked. Adam handed one to her and she started writing her name. ‘Well I suppose this is one way to get out of Chemistry.’ Oscar joked. ‘Oh by the way Maram says hi. She would have come to but she’s not big on hospitals.’ Adam nodded. ‘They’re not my favourite place to be.’ He admitted. ‘So how did it happen?’ Shreya asked gesturing to his arm. Adam explained what had happened, quickly updating Shreya and Oscar on the whole intruder situation. ‘Well at least your dad believes you now.’ Chelsea said as ne took the pen from Shreya who was frowning thoughtfully. ‘You have to wonder though. Who is this person trying to get into the lab?’ Oscar shook his head. ‘They might not be trying to get into the lab.’ ‘What do you mean?’ Chelsea asked. ‘You said you found a maze of tunnels down there that you didn’t explore. And that castle has been there for centuries. It’s possible the tunnels have been there long before Adam’s dad bought it. And in that time anyone could have hidden anything down there.’ Shreya nodded. ‘Cool. So this guy’s probably looking for some hidden treasure or something?’ Shreya asked. ‘We should go looking for it. We’d be like treasure hunters. Like the famous five.’ Chelsea cried. ‘Yeah you’d be Timmy.’ Nate teased. Chelsea cocked nir head to one side and shrugged. ‘Normally I’d be offended. But seeing as the only other options are the three guys and one girl I’ll take it.’ ‘Uh George is a girl.’ Nate pointed out. ‘No way. He is definitely a trans boy.’ Chelsea argued back. Oscar looked up from writing his name on Adam’s arm and pointed the pen at nir. ‘You are speaking my language.’ He said. Confused Adam looked over to Shreya to see if she had any idea what they were talking about but she looked as confused as he felt. ‘So we’re agreed?’ Chelsea asked. ‘As soon as Adam’s better we’ll go down there and explore those tunnels. See if we can find anything.’ ‘Except one problem. My arm probably won’t be better until January.’ Adam pointed out. ‘And well…’ ‘And we can’t open the trapdoor without you.’ Shreya finished sounding disappointed. Adam nodded. ‘Well that sucks.’ Chelsea sighed leaning back in nir seat. ‘Maybe there’s another way in?’ Oscar suggested. ‘Old castles are supposed to be full of secret passageways. So people could easily defend or escape if they were under siege. There’s got to be more than one way into those tunnels.’ ‘If there is I haven’t seen it.’ ‘Well obviously. The point of a secret tunnel is that the entrance is hard to spot.’ ‘The trapdoor was easy to find.’ Nate pointed out. ‘It probably used to have something over it to keep it hidden. Would be easier to guess what if we knew what the room was for but it would have been something easy to remove.’ The others nodded agreeing that it made sense. ‘Well as soon as my ankles better I’ll see if I can find anything.’ Adam said his mind made up. If the only way to get rid of this intruder was to get to whatever it was they were after first then so be it. He’d help however he could even if it was just to put his mind at ease.

 Victor

After two more nights Victor was finally able to take Adam home from the hospital. Once they got home he took Adam to the dinning room so he could get some proper food. Igor gave him a little more than usual the whole time grumbling about how they had probably starved him. Adam ate without a word, or even really Victor thought a breath. After inhaling an entire bowl of soup, five rolls of bread and several slices of melon Adam asked if he could go to bed as he was very tired. ‘You slept in the car.’ Victor pointed out. Adam nodded. ‘I know and that was the first sleep I got in three nights. You try sleeping sitting up when people keep grabbing you in the middle of the night.’ Victor went to scold him for his tone but stopped himself. The boy had every right to be grumpy. ‘Very well. Do you need help getting up the stairs?’ Adam stood up shaking his head. ‘No I’ll be fine. I’ll need someone to bring my bag up.’ He added. He left leaving Victor and Justine to finish eating. ‘Well at least his ankle shouldn’t take too long to heal.’ Justine commented. ‘Yes. And the doctor said he has an eerily high pain tolerance.’ Justine raised an eyebrow. ‘So is was that deliberate or did you just not wire his nerves together properly?’ Victor thought for a moment. ‘It’s possible some could have been damaged somewhere in the process. Or it could be psychological. Maybe his brain doesn’t register pain as much as ours do.’ Justine sighed and set down her spoon. ‘I’ve been putting off asking this but I’d really like to know.’ She paused as if unsure how to phrase the next part. ‘Where did you get Adam’s brain from.’ Victor frowned at her. ‘Why do you want to know?’ he asked in a tone that suggested she should be very careful about pushing the matter. Justine looked at him her expression made it clear she was not going to start backing down. ‘Because if Adam’s brain once belonged to another boy, doesn’t that in a way make him that same boy.’ Victor frowned. ‘Adam has no memory from before I gave him life. As far as I’m concerned his brain may have once belonged to someone else it’s now Adam’s. The boy it belonged to is dead, he doesn’t need it anymore. I made use of something that would otherwise have been left to rot.’ Justine was quite for a moment as she turned what he’d said in her head. ‘I believe we are our brains. I don’t believe in a soul, and a body is just a tool to be used. So by my logic Adam is that boy just given a second chance of life.’ She sighed and lead back. ‘But I suppose we can’t ever really know. Adam is the first, and as of right now the only, of his kind and the science, psychology and philosophy of the matter leave such a tangled web I doubt anyone could ever come to a right opinion. If there even is one.’ Victor nodded. ‘Since when were you smart?’ he asked. She rolled her eyes at him and stood up. ‘Gee thanks. You’re a really supportive big brother you know that right? Anyway I’m going to use your study. College applications aren’t self-writing you know.’ She disappeared just as Igor came in to collect their bowls. ‘I didn’t know she was applying to college.’ Victor muttered to himself as he got up to leave. Upon seeing Adam’s bag hanging from the banister, where Victor had put it so it would be out of the way, he decided to take it up to Adam’s room. At the top of the stairs he went to knock before remembering Adam would be asleep. Taking care not to make too much noise he turned the handle slowly so the click was barley audible and pushed the door open. He stepped inside to see Adam was indeed asleep in his bed. He was fully dressed, including his shoes, and had thrown the duvet onto the floor. Victor put the bag down with a sigh. What was he thinking wearing shoes in bed, Igor would throw a fit if he saw and a man his age couldn’t afford such a strain. And if he slept that night with no cover he’d surely freeze. Taking care not to wake him Victor crept over and pulled Adam’s shoes off. Adam gave no sign he was aware someone was in his room except a small movement as he tightened his grip on the shirt he was holding. Victor supposed he should start thinking of it as Adam’s shirt. He then picked up the duvet, which was a fair bit heavier than his own having been specially designed for the bed, and pulled it over Adam. For a moment he just stood there watching him. He wasn’t sure why but he found himself reaching forward to brush a strand of hair out of his face. As he did so the frown on Adam’s sleeping face eased up a little. ‘Goodnight Adam.’ He said under his breath. Standing up he headed out of the room only looking back to close the door. As he did so he could have sworn just for a second that one of Adam’s eye was open.

[alainawriteswwe]

Pride and Prejudice and Wrestling - Part 6

Characters: Seth Rollins x Reader, The gang from Raw

Summary: When a superstar Hollywood actress (The Reader), interacts with WWE Superstar Seth Rollins at Monday Night Raw, sparks fly. Can Rollins overcome his pride and convince the reader to take a chance on him when she’s still recovering from a nasty scandal caused by her cheating fiancé?

Warnings: Lots of flirting, angsty longing and maybe some bad words

Tags: @caramara3

Chapter 6

Three Weeks Later

“Are you sure you don’t want to do the movie? It’s a juicy role and could lead to some nice accolades during award season.”

My publicist Michelle swirled the striped straw in her unsweetened, locally sourced organic iced tea.

Michelle was a gem and a contradiction. She was always stylish but never in a Hollywood way. An older woman, she wore her chic hair in a long bob and took pride in the wide swaths of gray there when everyone was dying their hair blond to desperately keep looking like they were 27. She was a hard smoker but was refraining right now, even though we were in the open air, because I hated the smell.

She would scoff at my calling her motherly but she had been an incredible mentor to me. And, she had gotten me this far in my career in Hollywood. When I came here with $700 bucks in my pocket and no contacts, she had taken a chance on me, seeing something in me a lot of casting directors didn’t at the time. But her long term hunch paid off and she earned her money back in spades, 15% at a time.

“I am happy saying no to offers right now,” I replied, sipping from my Coke. The waitress seemed amazed it wasn’t Diet. “I want a sabbatical. Some time to sort myself out. A few months at most.” We were eating lunch at a swanky New York City hotspot. And by eating lunch, I mean being seen eating lunch at a exclusive spot outdoors in Soho while I pushed a colorfully, exotic salad around my plate.

Wouldn’t Seth laugh at me about this while he ate some healthy meal he carted around the country with him while wrestling. He would probably call my fancy salad, food fit for a rabbit princess. Or I bet he was eating ice cream right now. Asshole. Secretly I was following him on his Instagram, and he wasn’t joking about ice cream being a guilty pleasure for him.

“But this movie stars Michael Fassbender. You always said you wanted to work with him.”

“I know. I just need a break.”

Michelle sighed. It was a passive aggressive sigh. “This is about your fiancé, right? You’re ex-fiancé. You got to get your head out your ass about that and keep moving forward honey. You are embarrassed to be seen out. We are out right now. Eating at this ridiculous restaurant so we can be seen and have paparazzi shots on all the blogs. I mean we could be at my house on the Island, eating juicy steaks.”

I laughed at that. Michelle was an amazing cook. It was something I wanted to learn to do. Maybe I would do it now. I had the time.

I pushed my plate with its exotic micro grain salad away from me. “I told you I don’t need paparazzi declarations of my happiness in photo form. Also, a steak sounds amazing. As does a rest right now.”

Michelle put her hands up in capitulation. “Okay, okay. Well I will hold down the fort until you come back.”

Suddenly I was relieved. I pushed my Coke away.

“I will let the producer know that it’s a no from you.” She tapped at her iPad. “I think that’s it.” She tapped and swiped some more at her tablet. “Last thing I need to do for you is just respond to WWE. They have been insanely persistent.”

I was motioning to the waitress for the check when Michelle spoke and I could have gotten whiplash when I heard the word, “WWE”.

“Wait. What?”

“The wrestling people. They have not stopped calling.”

My heart was hammering at that. My mouth went dry. “Uh, what did they want?” Did that sound casual? Oh God. I was losing it. Be calm. Surely Seth wouldn’t use such a formal way to contact me.

“First, they wanted a coordinated response about the elevator incident and l told them the same thing I told TMZ. No comment. Then they called with a job offer. Can you imagine? You with two Oscars, working for WWE! So I told them ‘no’.

“Oh. Well, maybe we should hear them out.” I sipped my Coke again. I shrugged my shoulders and tried to sound flippant, when I was really shaky and nervous inside. “Just to see what the offer is.”

Michelle gasped. She seemed apoplectic. She was literally clutching the pearl necklace that was draped around her neck in a triple strand. “You turn down a role that could win you a third Oscar but you are interested in a offer from a wrestling company?”

I shrugged again. “Could be fun during my sabbatical.”

Michelle shook her head. “A fun way to destroy your career. You can’t take this offer seriously, hon. You would be laughed out of Hollywood.”

“But it’s something different.”

She narrowed her eyes at me. “Damn it. This is about the elevator guy, isn’t it? He’s a wrestler. What was his name? Shane? Sean?

I rolled my eyes. She knew his name. “Seth. His name is Seth.”

“Yeah, and his dick must be magic if you are thinking about ruining everything you’ve worked for over this job.”

“You don’t even know what the job is? You turned it down without even telling me what it was. Surely they don’t want me to wrestle. Aren’t you curious about what it could be?”

“I don’t bother you with jobs that are a waste of your time,” she answered in a haughty tone.

“But the job might not be a waste of my time. It could be a good distraction.” I paused. “And yes, his dick was magic.”I was joking with Michelle but not really.

Finally Michelle looked impressed and she laughed. “Well that’s something. At least you are getting some dick. I told you that would do wonders after that debacle with that louse you were engaged to. Get back up on the horse and ride it all night and all that.”

“Like you know about all that. I think your wife would take umbrage with you riding other horses, Michelle.”

“Never you mind me and my fabulous love life, my dear. It’s your love life I’m concerned about. And I admit I’m confused. You told me nothing was going on there, with Sean after the elevator incident.”

I bit my lower lip. “Maybe I was wrong there. About … Seth.” More like maybe I couldn’t help touching my hand on the hot stove even though I knew it would burn me.

“Unfinished business?”

Sure. If unfinished business meant constantly thinking about him for three weeks and constantly wondering if I should have left him without a word.

So why was I considering whatever WWE was offering? Because I was hoping it was Seth behind all this. And what would that serve if he was behind it? We couldn’t enjoy anything long term? He wasn’t suited for it with all the cheating in his past. And short term? I was so confused. But I missed Seth. I just wanted the chance to be near him and get to know him better.

I was so lost in my own world I had forgotten Michelle and her question. “Yes. I guess there is something unfinished there,” I finally responded.

“All right, hon.” She covered my hand with hers. “I will set up a meeting.” She looked me in the eye. “I hope he’s worth it.”

I didn’t answer because I didn’t want to think about the answer.

Later that night, Michelle called me to say I had a meeting at WWE HQ in Connecticut to discuss this job proposition and a car would pick me up the next morning. Michelle, in showing her displeasure at the situation could only say that I had a meeting with a guy who had way too many “H”s in his myriad of names. That made me chuckle.

But there was nothing to chuckle about as I made my way into WWE headquarters. It was serious business, with everyone in their corporate attire. I don’t know why I felt there would be people running around power bombing coworkers at the water cooler but I was disappointed that folks there were just as normal and boring as people in any office building in America. At least I didn’t feel out of place in my black slacks and simple silk blouse.

There were some gorgeous replica championship belts on display in the impressive glass encased lobby though and some larger than life photos of the various superstars lining the walls of the hallways. I tried to hide a smile as I passed the life sized picture of Seth on the wall in his shiny black ring gear, hair wet and devious smirk on his handsome face. His hands were clasped together like he was up to no good. The sexy devil. Damn him.

Triple H greeted me warmly in his gigantic corporate office with its lovely view of a manmade lake behind him. Pictures of his kids and of course Stephanie lined his large oak desk.

Despite the hand cut Italian suit, and the charismatic charm of his demeanor, Triple H looked as if he could cast off that corporate veneer and unleash some violence when necessary. Which had been proven at many a PPV and even the most recent Mania against Seth. I know because I watched it. I had been watching a lot of Seth’s old matches recently. It was a poor stand-in for being near the real thing.

“Thank you for meeting me.” His voice was authoritative with just a hint of gravel but it was also charming and welcoming. “And for coming out here to Connecticut. I thought you might hear the pitch better if you see how we operate.”

I put my business mode smile on. “You have a very impressive operation here.”

“Thank you. We are very happy when we achieve our goal of putting smiles on people’s faces.”

I couldn’t help a little smirk. “Yes, and profits in shareholders bank accounts.”

“Exactly. That’s why you’re here.

“You think I can make a profit for WWE? I’m not a wrestler.”

“True. But you do have something we can let’s say, use to our advantage.”

I had to admit I was intrigued here.

“Your hosting Raw was very well received not just here in the States but also around the world. Your movies do extremely well internationally and you have a very loyal fanbase in those countries that the corporation is looking to expand in via our television presence. We thought it might be a good idea to have you be a part of Raw more often. You could be an “in” for new viewers in those countries. They know you and your brand. They would be interested in the show and what you are doing on it. That could expose the WWE brand to more people worldwide. More smiles on people’s faces.”

I took a moment to let all that soak in. Then I channeled Michelle’s skepticism again.

“It could also diminish my brand. My fans could become confused. I’m a actress one day, and on a wrestling show the next. Why should I do this?” Michelle would be happy I was somehow channeling her so much.

Triple H got up and walked around his desk to lean against the front of it. He looked at me intently.

“I like to read people. Figure out how they tick and what works for them. It is a strategy that worked for me in the ring and in business.

“It’s no secret you have had a tough time in the press lately. I think you could use a break from Hollywood. I also heard you ‘clicked’ with many of our Superstars.”

I shook my head, disappointed in this line of conversation. Would he say this if I was a man? I couldn’t disguise the attitude in my voice. “You mean Seth.”

“I meant Sasha and Bayley but sure, Seth too.”

Okay. So I walked into that one. “I’m not saying I would do it but what would this job entail.”

Triple H tried to keep his victorious smile at a minimum.

“Something I think you will enjoy. You’re going to work with Seth. Creative has written a storyline where you are dating. I thought that would be easy for you two to pull off. It would sell better with the audience if you live that in and out of the ring. Travel together. Like a real couple. It would be for a couple months, three at most. All the way through Summer Slam.”

“So I’m what, Seth’s pretend girlfriend and his valet.” I remembered Seth’s harsh words to me that he didn’t need a valet. “I don’t think Seth will go for that.”

“Well why don’t we ask him.”

My heart skipped several beats.

My mouth went dry. “What? Seth. He’s here?”

“Yes. I thought it would be good to talk to you first before we all sat down together to discuss this. That is if you are interested. I don’t want to waste your time.”

Sly, sly man. They called him The Cerebral Assassin for a reason. I didn’t want to play all my cards right away so I tried to sound neutral.

“Sure. Why not, since I’m here and everything.”

Triple H led me through to the adjoining conference room. It was all shiny and modern and reminded me of a Bond villain’s lair. A wall of glass floor to ceiling windows took up one side with a view of the corporate park and the man made lake. Complete with geese.

And then there was Seth. He was standing, looking out the window. His hands shoved in the pants pockets of the immaculate black suit he wore. His hair pulled back in a low man bun. His dark hair seemed just a touch fuzzy at top and just a touch unruly still. Corporate Seth was not as comfortable as Tap Out sweatpants and baseball cap Seth.

He still looked amazing though. Sexy. Powerful. Immediately, I wanted him. My body responding to his presence in the most primal and basic ways, reminding me it had been three weeks since I was in his bed.

I smiled at him but Seth didn’t return that gesture. I swallowed hard. Something was wrong. He looked shocked to see me and just a touch unsure. So unlike himself compared to the cocky, over confident guy I met almost a month ago.

“I don’t think we need introductions. We all know each other,” Triple H announced. He sat at the head of the large conference table. The king on his throne. I sat across from Seth. He seemed a mile away sitting across the wide wooden expanse.

“So, Seth. I asked you to come by HQ today because Creative has a new storyline I think you would be very interested in. It involves this lady here.” Trips motioned to me.

“Now I know you will help me try and convince her to come on board with us and be a part of that storyline and our WWE family.”

“Okay,” Seth responded. He tapped his fingers on the table. “Creative don’t let go of their secrets easily or in advance so it must be big.”

Triple H grinned. “It is big, son.”

I was finally through with waiting. “Okay what are all the details?”

“A championship run for Seth. Multiple titles. And we are going to make our lovely guest here the new General Manager of Raw.”

I couldn’t help laughing out loud at that. If I had been drinking something it would have definitely been a spit take.

I touched my hand to my chest in disbelief. “Me. General Manager of Raw. I have no experience in wrestling. It’s crazy.”

Triple H nodded. “Yes. It’s so crazy it’s brilliant. No one will see that coming.”

I just blinked at the unbelievable news. Was this somehow a prank show? I hated practical jokes. “How? I mean in what world could I become General Manager?”

“Creative will figure out the details. The thing is this. If we have you and Seth date on the show, have that played outside the ring as well, the WWE universe will accept you and you will be over as we say.

“Plus, with you as GM, it will provide some interesting story plots. Part of Seth’s arc recently has been his redeeming himself from his time with me in The Authority where his title opportunities were handed to him. So what happens when it turns out his girlfriend is in charge and can hand him those opportunities again? Does he keep going on his own path as a face doing things the proper way or give in to those old heelish tendencies to take the easier path?”

I had to admit that did sound interesting. Seth, for his part was silent. Absorbing what was said. He was turning all the angles over in his head before he spoke. When he finally did he got to the point.

“Which titles?”

“Tag team with Dean leading into a battle between you two for the Intercontinental. If you win that you will be a Grand Champion. That’s exalted company as you know.”

I didn’t know what a Grand Champion was but Seth seemed to be satisfied. I realized how hard it was for him to be at the top of the company and have it all taken away due to your own body rebelling through injury. To find yourself having to fight your way back up the ladder. New contenders coming in everyday who were also fighting for your spot. It sounded a lot like Hollywood.

“And we have to date?” Seth asked, pointing to me.

Triple H nodded. “Oh yes. It’s integral to the storyline. Like I said, this story needs to stick inside and outside the ring. I think you two can do that. Unless there is a problem I am not aware of. Then we can call the whole thing off.”

Seth was silent again. I didn’t know what to say. What was wrong? Seth was cold, distant. He refused to look at me unless he absolutely had to out of politeness.

I tried to fill the gap of silence. “Well it does sound like a lot of work but I must admit I’m interested.”

Triple H was pleased. “Great. I must ask a really personal question then. You’re not seeing anyone currently? Someone who could blow this storyline up.”

Seth finally looked over at me. Even though he said nothing, I could tell he was interested in my answer.

“No. Maybe you should ask him,” I remarked pointing over to Seth across the conference table.

“I already know his situation. He’s clear. One more question for you my dear and I am afraid its even more personal than my first one. We can’t have you around the ring if you’re pregnant. So you would need to bow out now if that’s the case.”

Seth tilted his head. His eyes now showed expression. Curiosity.

I looked at Seth as I spoke. “No. I am not pregnant.”

Satisfied, Triple H motioned over to a leather folio. He passed it to me. “Inside is the contract. I don’t expect you to sign it right now but you can read it. I will have electronic copies sent to your agent and your legal team.”

I opened the folio. “I have some requirements.”

Seth scoffed but Triple H nodded. “Name them.”

“I get to approve all parts of any storyline I am a part of. I also control what I wear and how I look. My name and likeness will always belong to me.”

Triple H thought about it and then put his hand out for me to shake. “Deal.” He paused a moment. “I like you. You’re tough.”

I must admit I was proud to hear him say that.

“Aren’t you going to ask Seth here if he’s going to do this?”

Triple H looked at me as if this was a crazy question. “Seth is a company man. He will do the storyline. It’s you that has to make the decision if you will be involved and if the storyline goes forward.”

Ok. So no pressure. If I say no, I could stall Seth’s career.

Suddenly Seth spoke up. “Maybe we can have a moment alone, Hunter. To discuss all this.”

With a nod, Triple H left the conference room.

I could have sighed. Finally. Time alone with Seth. I had so many questions for him. Mundane stuff. How was he? Was he excited about the storyline? How should we play it? Whether this love story was going to really go on offscreen as well? Could it? Because if I was honest with myself, I wanted it to. Even if he broke my heart. Which, let’s face it was likely.

There was so much to talk about and this new life on the road would provide the perfect opportunity for all that. I was risking everything for this opportunity, but nothing in life is ever gained without risk.

I opened my mouth to start to put some of my jumbled thoughts into words when Seth cut me off with a wave of his hand.

“Look Princess, don’t say yes to this job if you’re not going to take it seriously. If you’re gonna leave in the middle of the storyline’s run because you can’t handle it or how grueling life is on the road. You need to tell Hunter ‘no’ right now.

“You have to make a lot of sacrifices in WWE. Something I’m sure you are not used to in Hollywood where your every want is spoon fed to you. There are no personal assistants on the road. You carry your own luggage. You take care of yourself and the people you are working with.”

The balloon of thoughts and hopes where Seth was concerned popped. How could he say this of me? I worked as hard as anyone on the set of my movies. I had a assistant but I could damn well live my life without him doing everything for me.

I crossed my arms over my chest in my seat, ready for a fight. Bring it on Kingslayer. “You don’t think I will work hard?”

He laughed. That horrible hyena laugh of his. “Princess, I know you are going to run when the going gets tough. That’s what you do isn’t it. I bet you think all this is a joke.”

He waved his arm around the room.

“Wrestling is as serious an art as your precious acting. I’ve dedicated my entire life to it. Twelve years I’ve thrown my body around in the ring to get to where I am today. I won’t have that ruined because you run out on all of us and this storyline. I won’t have you disappoint Hunter that way either. He doesn’t know what you’re like. I do.”

Each word, each accusation from his gorgeous pursed lips was a poison arrow to my body. My heart stammered in my chest. I had to drag myself to pull in air to breathe as I started to hyperventilate. This was a different Seth than the one I left in Miami.

I got up from my seat and went to his side of the table where he was still seated. The wall of glass behind him.

“Why are you being like this Seth? What exactly have I done to you? Spell it out.”

“I just see you for what you are. It took awhile. Too bad I didn’t see it sooner.”

Soon the penny dropped and I was furious once I made the connection. “You’re mad because you think I rejected you in Miami. Why? Because in your playboy mind you didn’t get to kick a clinging Hollywood starlet from your bed? And now your preciously fragile male ego can’t take it.”

I shook my head. Of course this was the outcome. Why should I believe I would ever have anything different where men and I were concerned. Seth was just living up to his reputation as a player now.

“I bet you still told it that way to your friends when you bragged about bedding me. I bet you told them I begged you to stay before you firmly put me out of your hotel room, like some discarded room service tray.”

I was so pissed off I could feel the energy of my anger shimmer through me. Growing in waves. I walked over to the window. Away from Seth so I couldn’t do him in with violence. How dare he be mad at me.

“Always the playboy aren’t you Seth. I should have listened to Finn. He warned me about you.”

That got a rise from Seth. Literally. He got up from his seat and stood in front of me at the window. He narrowed his eyes at me. His mouth a grim line. “Don’t you dare mention his name and compare him to me.”

I poked him in that solidly muscular chest of his. “Well too bad. Besides, you need to learn the lesson that everything isn’t about you, Seth. Even though you desperately want to ‘believe that’. Well, I don’t need you. You’re not some irresistible adonis.”

That is a damned lie, my body screamed as it responded to his sexual power on display just a touch in front of me, even as the words fell from my mouth.

I poked him in the chest again. Harder this time. “I don’t need you as a friend and I don’t need you in my bed.” Another god damn lie. “That’s something you should remember while we act out this farce for the cameras and the WWE universe.”

Seth was silent a moment. The smug, cocky grin on his face growing rapidly. “I don’t need a fuck buddy, Princess. I’ve got plenty of those in my phone’s contacts. All we have to do is try to be civil, try not to embarrass each other and stick to the storyline even outside the ring. That’s it.”

He paused before looking me up and down and shaking his head as if he was disgusted by what he saw.

“And you don’t have to worry about me making advances at you. You made it quite clear you had no desire to continue what started in Miami.”

He almost snorted in disgust. “You’re a Hollywood Princess.” He choked out the last word as if he didn’t even want it to pass his lips. “It’s quite a come down to find yourself waking up in bed next to what you considered a mere Iowa farm boy.”

I shook my head at that. “Seth stop.”

Something about these words seemed worse than his earlier taunts. They were twisting the knife he had already buried in my heart earlier. I was doing well in hiding my emotions but now the tears that were threatening to escape my eyes were very close to achieving their goal. And I would rather cut off my arm than have him see me wipe them away.

“No!” He answered defiantly, his voice grave. “You’re gonna hear what I have to say, Princess.”

“Okay Seth. So you want to do this now, do you? In this cold sterile conference room with a view of a fake corporate lake and people eating lunch on little picnic tables below us.”

Seth didn’t seem to care. “We don’t have to do anything. We are not going to do anything. We’re going to stick to the script and do what we are told. If Creative says I have to kiss you in public then I am going to pucker up with a smile and bear it the best I can because there is a title at stake, man. That is the only thing that matters here. The only thing that matters to me.” There was nothing I could say to that. How could I counter his accusations when my only defense was something I could never tell him. Would never tell him after realizing how he felt about me just now.

That what we shared in Miami was more than just sex. That I knew I was losing my heart to him that very morning, after only one night, and I was terrified of being hurt.

But I was also being hurt now. Being near Seth, knowing that he hated me was killing me. All that bravado and ego he displayed inside the ring and out just masked a deep insecurity in him. I realized that now as he lashed out at me verbally. It made sense that he was always striving to prove himself, to be The Man. The Champ. To draw in all that energy from the WWE universe where they loved him or loved to hate him.

I wanted to reach out to him. To touch him. Wrap my arms around that muscular chest of his and hug him tight. I hurt him by leaving him without a word that morning in Miami, and I hated myself for that. But at that moment, after our wonderful night together, protecting my heart was key after my cheating fiancé.

Seth had been a cheating fiancé. I didn’t want to have him tell me it would be different with me this time. Only to find him awkwardly sexting some new girl from NXT or some beautiful WWE groupie who was hoping for a come up.

How could I just minutes ago have thought we could make this work and have a relationship? A real relationship. I must have been crazy.

And now we were going to pretend to be a couple for the cameras. Travel together, all the while pretending to be madly in love for three months . It would kill me.

But I realized in that moment that I had to do it. I understood how much Seth wanted that title shot. Just like how I desperately wanted a Oscar when I came to Hollywood. Winning two didn’t diminish that desire in me. It actually made me hungrier for it.

I understood how much Seth needed that title for his career and I would sacrifice some of my lauded Hollywood actress reputation to get that for him even though he hated me. I wanted him to have that success he worked so hard for and that was cruelly taken away after so many injuries.

That was love wasn’t it? That word I tried to banish but could not with Seth. Pretending to hate him and trying not to fall for him further would be the hardest acting role I ever had.

I couldn’t look at him when I spoke so I turned and looked out at the geese roaming the corporate park below us. “Right. Message received, Rollins. You want a pretend girlfriend then you got it, Seth. I will batt my eyelashes at you and hang off your arm and look up at you as if you set the moon and the stars for me. People will be envious of how much it looks like I love you.” Because I do love you. And you’re breaking my heart right now.

“They will think we are the luckiest couple in the world. And you will win that title Seth. Then maybe once you do, you can turn heel and ‘cheat’ on me with someone in the women’s division and that will end our storyline. And then you will be free of me.”

I could feel the heat of Seth’s gaze upon me but when I turned my attention to him, his normally expressive eyes seemed inscrutable. It was almost like he was looking through me.

“I know you hate me Seth. You have your reasons. I won’t argue that. I wounded your ego and hurt your pride in Miami but let’s just try and get through this okay.”

I turned to walk out the room but Seth stopped me. His hand snaked out to grab my hand. Not hard. His fingers just encircled my wrist. His thumb gently stroked my pulse. Inwardly I sighed. A natural reaction. Each touch was sheer heaven.

Seth’s voice was low, serious. “Why are you doing this? Joining Raw? You don’t have to do it. What’s in it for you?”

His face searched mine for an answer, there was something oddly hopeful in his dark eyes.

I couldn’t give him the truth. My truth. That would be my secret, always. So I lied. “For the publicity of course.”

His hand fell away. He didn’t have to say a word for me to feel his disgust.

–

[thisislizheather]

February Feats 2020

I write this from underneath two blankets, perched atop three pillows. This is day three of being sick (Nathan just joined me in illness yesterday) and I think I’m getting better but that could just be blind hope. In any case, I still have to tell you what went on last month. Forgive the tone of this post, it might be… affected.

I heard that Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker are going to be in the Paul Simon play Plaza Suite together and so I casually thought “Ooo, might be nice to catch” so I looked it up and tickets START at $700. So I guess fuck me then. I swear to god, this fucking city.

The best cover so far this year:

Above Photo: Brian Stauffer, The New Yorker

I rewatched a movie I love: The Door In The Floor and it really holds up well. Kim Basinger and Jeff Bridges and both too good at what they do. Love this movie so much.

I rewatched The Evil Dead and look I understand it’s probably a “good horror movie” especially for its time and budget, but I fucking hated it, maybe even more so than the last time that I saw it. Never again. Why do I keep rewatching things that I hate? I don’t have to like everything. I must repeat this to myself daily.

I had lunch at Daily Provisions and their lemon cruller was really good and light and the chicken club sandwich was good, too. Always a solid morning/afternoon place.

Favourite tweets of the month.

I tried Trader Joe’s Whole Wheat Couscous and maaaaan, it was so good. So I guess all couscous is good? Gotta get my hands on that pearly couscous. That seems like the money cousocus.

I made this Greek Couscous Salad for lunches for a week and didn’t get sick of it at all, I gotta remember to keep this in the rotation. I also kept the salad and the couscous separate until I wanted to eat, and then I’d join them together.

I can’t believe I hadn’t seen this sketch before (calling someone a “goofy bitch” just about killed me), also ignore how bad an actress Cardi B is.

I finished watching The Good Place and yes it was a good show. I don’t think l liked it as much as pretty much everyone else in my life who loved it, but it was definitely a good show. This scene was the best part of the finale, for sure. That song used in the scene will always elicit tears, I remember falling in love with it when it was used in the movie that everyone hated but me, Swept Away.

Again, I visited Everlane and it still disappoints. Why do I keep thinking it’ll be different each time? What the fuck is wrong with me?

I saw Parasite and it was wonderful and everyone who hasn’t seen it should see it. I haven’t heard from one person who didn’t like it. Universally liked!

I listened to the new Strokes single and hated it, so that’s something. Growth?

I haven’t seen the whole episode yet, but I really liked RuPaul’s SNL monologue.

Why isn’t everyone putting pickles on grilled cheese? Makes no sense. Fucking taste explosion.

I finally tried the (off-menu, must be requested when it’s not brunch) Cacio E Pepe at L’Artusi and holy christ, it might be better than their mushroom ragu. I KNOW. Such wild developments! (They also started serving at lunch, but only lunch delivery, not dine-in. SO this means nothing to me.)

I think I will officially stop buying candles from Bath & Body Works. The ones at Marshalls are cheaper, last longer and the variety of scents is endless. I have a candle from Marshalls right now simply called STORM and it really does kinda smell like stormy weather. Obviously I’m waiting for a thunderstorm to light that mother. I have mental issues?

I watched the newest season of Shrill (no big spoilers ahead) and loved it, obviously. The disappointing-ness of parents is so nicely shown (that moment at the restaurant when she asks her dad what he thinks of her boyfriend and he’s so indifferent, ugh so perfect), I absolutely LOVED the wedding episode (infact all of the episodes following that one are the best ones, I think I just love the episodes not centered about this not-great relationship with her and her boyfriend), the WEHAM episode is perfect (finally someone making fun of makeup for for legs), and I continue to love the character Fran. Really hoping for a third season, especially based on the season finale.

Don’t ask me why, but I watched most of the Police Academy movies and I think the Miami one might be the best one?? I couldn’t make it twenty minutes into the Moscow one, so I feel like you might want to trust me when I say that I know what I’m talking about.

These are my new favourite leggings of all time, they feel like you’re wearing nothing at all.

Cannot get over the beauty of these women and these outfits.

Above Photo: Camila Mendes

Above Photo: Nyma Tang

I watched the Michelle Carter documentary and I don’t know how other people feel, but it’s absolutely unreal that she was found guilty. Of course Nathan disagrees.

I ate at Frank for the first time in over a decade with the one and only Irene and it’s still great. Love that they do the opposite of al dente pasta here. Photos below.

Above Photo: Tagliatelle special, at Frank

Above Photo: Roasted garlic bread, at Frank

Above Photo: Mushroom pappardelle special, at Frank

I can’t find a link for them online, but I bought some reusable Leak Proof Snack Bags by Kitchen Details at Nordstrom Rack and they’re perfect since we typically use a million of those disposable ones for holding sunflower seeds and almonds

I threw out a lot of clothing/shoes/bags, so I went out and bought some things that I absolutely love. I now have a faux fur, brown evening coat that I’ve long dreamed of owning, a new everyday purse, a vintage, gold, mesh evening purse, new everyday shoes, more sunglasses and some new wedges that may or may not replace the older wedges I’ve had since 2006 (the ones lovingly referred to as my Terminators because of the massive fall that I took in them upon exiting the movie Terminator Salvation). I could show you all of the new pieces, but I’d much rather slide into a room you’re in to show you my new fur coat. However if it annoys you not to see any of these new things that bring my joy, here are two of them.

Above Photo: Classic Reeboks from DSW

Above Photo: I also got them in blue

I’ve actually started using tiny drops of facial oil mixed with my nighttime face lotion and even though I’ve only just started to do this, my face is already way less dry when waking up. I don’t know if I can do this in the hotter weather, but for now I’ll keep it up.

I know all of these are old songs, but I recently heard and fell in love with this Taylor Swift song. And this one. And this one. Oh and this one too.

I went to Giorgio’s of Gramercy again (the last time was a few years ago with Nathan) and it’s still great! I haven’t had a steak in awhile, but the one here? Holy hell. Magnificent.

I went to see the new Kubrick 2001 exhibit at the Museum of the Moving Image and it was pretty neat. They have one of his Oscars on display in a case, which was actually really cool to see.

I read and reviewed a biography of Johnny Carson that truly sucked.

So Nathan and I are in the middle of watching McMillion$ and can I just say: boooooooooooooooo. I’ve never seen a “documentary” more over-produced, self-indulgent, superfluous and WILDLY overdone. It’s a bloody six part series that could’ve EASILY been an hour and a half movie. If you ever need proof of a documentary having too much money spend, my god have you found it. Of COURSE Mark Wahlberg has something to do with it, this man needs to fucking STOP. I know they are countless other men attached to the project too, but it’s much easier to shit on just him. God, what a waste of time. The Wikipedia page is more succinct.

I watched To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before 2: P.S. I Still Love You and it was everything I wanted it to be and more. Loved the Adventures in Babysitting reference right off the top (I’ll forever love that movie and it doesn’t get talked about enough), I loved pretty much every musical choice (these are my top three songs from the movie), and I loved the idea of doing another Thanksgiving in March (although I’m pretty sure Chrissy Teigen did this a few years ago and planted that great seed in my head). Definitely the best thing on Netflix at the moment.

Seeing this restored footage of NYC in 1911 is both exciting and eerie as hell, for some reason.

Nathan and I went to the Raptors game that ended their winning streak, sorry about that.

I’ve been consumed with reading so much stuff about what’s going on right now and this was a little helpful: 4 Practical Ways to Prepare Your Home for a Pandemic. Don’t judge me for sharing this link! I’m delirious.

Things that I’m looking forward to this month: visiting Collingwood and going skiing with my family, I might splurge and get that mini birthday cake from Momofuku Milk Bar, and the new season of On My Block comes out on the 11th. I’m pretty into the idea of turning 35, usually I’m more jacked about my birthday month but I think I’m too down to care at the moment. Caring coming soon.

If you’ve got any interest in reading last month’s roundup, you can see what went down in January over here.

[nancypullen]

Hell or High Water, Maybe Both

Guys, we’ve had two sunny days in a row now!  After what felt like weeks of rain, flash floods, closed schools, closed roads, dire warnings, and the constant drumming of rain on the roof - I see blue sky!  I’m doing a happy dance!  I’m a weather lover; I love a good blizzard or some dramatic thunder and lightning.  But variety is truly the spice of life and rain every dang day is just a drag. Everything is soggy and squishy.  Our forecast looks promising, so we may just have a chance to dry out a little 

Last Friday we had a fun FaceTime session with Matt, celebrating his 34th birthday.  I’ve stopped doing the lengthy birthday tributes on this blog (I don’t think anyone reads them) but gosh, his birthday makes me so happy.  He was my first baby and the day he arrived changed my world forever.  I love him so.  Matt is everything you’d want your child to grow up to be - I’m one lucky mom. Besides celebrating Matt’s day and treading water, I’ve made some pretty tasty meals.  I’ll eventually share it all here, but I’l start with last night’s yummy dinner.  I found this recipe on Jessica Seinfeld’s Instagram.  I absolutely love her cookbook, Food Swings.  This recipe was easy and packed a wallop of flavor.  It can be a meal by itself or used as a side.  Behold, Black Beans and Cauliflower Rice!

Oh my word, this was SO GOOD.  It’s super good for you too!  Sorry, I only took a few pics while I cooked - mostly because this comes together so quickly.  I’ll post the recipe below. First, I cut a head of cauliflower in half and lopped off the florets.  I put half into my food processor and riced them, dumped that in a bowl and did the other half.  You don’t have to use a food processor, you could finely chop it (which would take a while) or use the large side of your grater (which might give you carpal tunnel), or just buy a bag of cauliflower rice in your produce section (we have a winner!).  It was easiest for me to just chunk up a head of cauliflower and let the machine do the work.  Only took a few seconds. Anywayyyy, once that’s done everything else is a piece of cake.  Finely dice a yellow onion and toss it into a pot with some olive oil and salt.  Once that onion is tender just add two cans of (drained and rinsed) black beans, some cumin, and a little water. I added three shakes from a bottle of hot sauce.  You do you. Let all of that goodness simmer. Looks like mud, but don’t let that fool you.

Add olive oil to a large skillet and add that yummy cauliflower.  Cook some of the moisture out and get it just tender. Add chili powder, salt, and chopped cilantro and toss it all.

You’re done.  It really is that easy for a delicious, healthy, oh-so-flavorful meal. Plate that, add some salsa on top and avocado if that’s your thing (it’s mine) and dig in!  Last night I broiled some tilapia fillets and served this as a side.

 Today I ate the leftovers beans and cauli rice for lunch with more avocado.  It was divine. If you’re cooking for one this recipe could easily be halved.  The original recipe calls for a whole head of cauliflower and two cans of beans.  You could do a bag of cauli rice and one can of beans and adjust your spices accordingly.  Easy Peasy.  Here’s the recipe: INGREDIENTS For the beans:

1 yellow onion

2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil

½ teaspoon kosher salt

1 teaspoon ground cumin

2 15-ounce cans black beans, drained and rinsed

A few shakes of your favorite hot sauce (optional)

For the cauliflower rice:

1 head cauliflower

3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil

¾ teaspoon chili powder

½ teaspoon kosher salt

¼ cup chopped fresh cilantro

Sliced avocado and salsa, for serving INSTRUCTIONS For the beans, finely chop the onion. In a medium saucepan, heat the oil over medium-high heat. Add the onion and salt and cook 7 to 8 minutes, stirring often, until blonde and very soft. Add the cumin and cook for about 30 seconds, stirring, or until fragrant. Add the beans, a few shakes of hot sauce, and ⅓ cup of water.  Reduce the heat to low and simmer for 5 minutes, or until heated through.

For the cauliflower rice, cut the cauliflower into florets. Add half of the florets to a food processor. Pulse several times until very finely chopped. Transfer to a bowl and repeat with the remaining cauliflower. In a large skillet, heat the oil over medium-high heat. Add the cauliflower and cook for 5 to 6 minutes, stirring often, until the rawness and some of the water from the cauliflower cooks out (but you still want it to be al dente, not completely soft). Stir in the chili powder, salt, and cilantro. Divide the beans and rice among bowls. Top with avocado and salsa. I could eat this stuff every day.  In fact, I just might make a batch and divide it into my meal prep containers for my lunches next week.  It’s just that good.  Of course, for everything good there’s an evil counterpart.  It was Oscars night last night and I hadn’t made a special treat for our private viewing party.  Probably because we don’t need a special treat.  I did know that the mister would want something sweet after being force fed fish and vegetables.  I didn’t want to bake a batch of anything because then we’d eat a batch of something.  Neither one of us can be trusted.  Pinterest to the rescue!  Have you heard of Marshmallow Popcorn? I hadn’t.  Basically you melt some marshmallows, brown sugar, and butter in a saucepan and then drizzle all of that over popcorn.  I’ve never been a fan of marshmallows in any form, but this stuff was like crack.  I had a small bowl and could have put my face in the rest.  The mister made a feast of it (though he did admit that the sugar coma aftermath was not pleasant).  Again, it couldn’t have been easier - 64 mini marshmallows, 1/2 cup brown sugar, 1/4 cup butter melted together, poured over one bag of microwave popcorn and tossed.  It wasn’t sticky or gooey, it quickly turned into a delicious caramel corn.  Makes my teeth hurt just thinking about it now, but as an easy sweet treat it was a win. Not much news from the Pullen spread.  We have survived the floods and even have daffodils blooming!

We’ve got a nice patch back in the tree line but no blooms yet.  I’ve decided that my gardens this year, and from now on, will be mainly for bees.  Whatever will attract and support them will be my focus.  After seeing news that the EPA okayed dumping bee-killing pesticide on over 16 million acres I hope everyone plants something for the bees.   https://www.ecowatch.com/trump-epa-pesticides--2629292283.html Those sweet, fuzzy buzzers pollinate a third of the world’s food supply and we’ll be in bad shape without them.  But that’s another soapbox for another day.   For now just eat ya’ some beans and cauliflower and make it a good day! XOXOXO  

[dubiousjourney]

1/14/19

Log 4

Mental: I just slept in and sat in my room all day. I just don’t want to talk to anybody or try anymore, but I’m aware of it and I can fight it. I know I can, I just need to do it. I spent the night watching Freerunning videos and looking at dance classes that I’ve always wanted to attend. I just need to push myself and do it, that’s the hardest part. How bad do I want it? I’m starting to feel like everybody is just out for themselves, not caring about other people. If someone exhibits unusual behavior, if they throw you a bone, you’ll stop asking questions. 

Heath: I can do 35 push ups without having to rest, which is close to my limit but not it. I can keep going. When I do it, I can feel some motivation coming back to me, so I feel like I should. I only ate once today, which was Original Crispers from Chilis put into flour tortillas with ancho ranch. I didn’t even finish it, and I felt kinda full. Still chain vaping, I notice how mellow it makes me, but I think I like it. I should stop and just put that energy towards working out. 

Love: So I unfriended Talia on Snapchat and just deleted the app. She noticed and asked if everything was ok basically, and I just told her I appreciated her, which she seemed satisfied with. I really care about her, and I don’t want anything bad to happen to her, but I need to work on my poker face first. I’m pretty sure it’ll still hurt if I go into those depths with her. I’ll just talk to her about Oscar and keep my distance emotionally. I need to make photography and film my passion and love, I can’t get invested in dumbass feelings. Those never work out it seems, I just get too clingy and that’s not part of the game at all. I don’t want to love.

Work: Alexa saw my face and called it a “poop face”, I just dismissed it with another small retort calling her a poop face. I didn’t mind picking up her last table, just trying to get her out. Talked to Mark about my score and he saw that I dropped, but my comments were all good. I said “don’t worry”, he said he wasn’t but I was. Nolan was all about helping me out a lot, I’m suspicious, thinking Nick told him about how I just gave him a lot of money and he was trying to get into that too. If that’s his objective, I wasn’t into it. Was visited by Amanda and Tiffany at work though and just talked to them. Since it was so slow, I could feel myself slipping with my attentiveness, but it was just tonight. I need to stop being so distracted.

Social: Sam and Shaiann reached out to me, as well as Ivy. I set up lunch with Shaiann and texted Ivy that I was sorry for isolating myself. She understood and said her house is always open. I just don’t know how to speak out about my feelings when I don’t even know them myself. I called Jenn to make sure she was good, which she said she was. I also called Jake and he said so as well. It was good to focus on their happiness; it was a nice distraction. 

Financial: I spent money on Uncle Dante’s photography book and bought food, but that’s pretty much it. Oh, I also emptied my funds in my account to go towards my credit card. After work, I brought it back up to around $200, which was a good jump. As long as I make around $100 a night, and work at least 4 days a week, things should be going up. 

[cynthiajayusa]

The Tasty Star of Netflix’s ‘Queer Eye’ Talks Fluid Sexuality

Antoni Porowski is known for his avocados. But on a recent afternoon he was contemplating the coconut, mapping every sultry detail of the tropical fruit as if it were the body of a new lover: the fleshy inside, the milky nectar.

It’s the first day of June when the Polish-Canadian wine-and-dine expert on Netflix’s Queer Eye reboot rings and, oh right, we’re talking about food. But gay America isn’t hungry: It’s thirsty AF.

And because real lives are being changed thanks to Porowski, designer Bobby Berk, culture advisor Karamo Brown, stylist Tan France, and groomer Jonathan Van Ness, it is also joyfully crying.

Season 2 of Queer Eye — note the dropped qualifier, a nod to the show’s new inclusivity — doesn’t skimp on opportunities for you to feel good about this otherwise not-good world, as the Fab Five imparts their best-life insight and general gay wisdom to a diverse group of clients, including the franchise’s first woman and transgender man.

As Porowski continues to process the experience, and the attendant upswing in gay male thirst and avocado sex puns, the 34-year-old subject of culinary controversy talked critics and why variety truly is the spice of life.

In the new promo video for the show, with Betty Who singing the theme, you’re cradling avocados and wearing a crop top. The avocado dick puns have been out in full force.

I guess I asked for it, right? I’m literally wearing a crop top and unsuccessfully trying to juggle avocados, so I shouldn’t be surprised.

WATCH:

I must say, I do hope the crop top becomes your signature look in the third season.

[Laughs.] Thanks! I do have to give credit where it’s due, and that was 100 percent Tan France.

When it comes to you, the thirst is real. What is that kind of attention like from the gay community?

I do maintain a certain amount of ignorance to it — and a kind of detachment. There’s been a lot of really amazing and positive attention from the show. But with that, there’s also gonna be haters. If I’m gonna take the good, I have to take the bad, so I’ve decided to take neither.

I just try to focus on what my next move is with this show, with press that we’re working on, living out of hotels for the past couple of months, and hoping that people really enjoy [this season] as much as they did the first.

When you’re living out of hotels, how do you maintain a healthy diet?

I don’t! That’s the honest truth. I’m not one to deny myself the pleasures of, like, a good ripe stinky cheese on a crusty slice of fresh-baked bread in Paris.

Oh, I’ve seen you indulge on the show.

It happens.

You’re not afraid of some macaroni salad.

There ya go! Well, but that wasn’t my recipe.

It wasn’t, but you still ate it.

Oh, I ate it. I’ll try anything twice.

Are you still trying to wrap your head around your overnight fame?

Yeah. I mean, it certainly hits in waves. We were just in London, and when you experience people who’ve been waiting outside of your hotel with magazines to sign, it’s kind of like, “Wow, you’re a human with a life and a job, presumably, who wanted to wait to have a moment.” I’m grateful for it, but it’s not something I want to be too comfortable with. It’s very bizarre and very overwhelming.

What my therapist tells me is, “Don’t trust your feelings right now because you’re constantly basically running on adrenaline — your life right now is pure adrenaline.” It’s been like overdrive, so it’s just, take everything very lightly.

What are your gay fan interactions outside of hotels like?

I feel like I’m pretty good at reading people, but with fans, the energy and the direction of it is very different. So my thing is: Ask them a question about themselves, try to make this a human interaction, and try to normalize it, just to make sure that the person has a nice, meaningful experience and they can leave happy.

[But] sometimes I’m left, like, taking care of people. They’ll come up, and their mouths open and they don’t say anything. I have to kind of take care of them and be like, “Are you OK? It’s fine. Here, do you want a hug? Do you want a photo?”

You don’t just go right in for the hug?

No, I’m a little — yeah, I have more of a European sensibility. We like to kiss twice. Or, I don’t know, healthy boundaries?

Kiss twice, though? Everyone must just enjoy meeting you.

[Laughs.]

How has helping other people on this show changed your approach to your own life?

I’ve had many passions: I studied psychology; I worked as a gallery director; I photographed vintage furniture. And on the acting side of things, that was something that was always very ego[-driven]. I wanted people to look and see and feel my presence, whereas with the show, it actually isn’t that at all. The energy is directed in the other direction, so it’s really us being of service to this person that we’re helping.

We see that happen in the first episode of Season 2, with Mama Tammye

Mama Tammye is an example who spun it on us, and doesn’t even take care of herself and shows up as a teacher and as a member of her church, and for the five of us.

You cried at the end of that episode. Of the Fab Five, who cries the most?

You’re talking to him! When you hear somebody’s struggle, or especially when they’ve overcome something or made a choice like Tammye — there was a lot of pain and a lot of fear and borderline hateful feelings toward gays, and she realized that it was her perspective that was wrong, and she’s a beacon of hope for people.

It’s possible at any age. If you have people like Tammye who were able to figure it out, there’s no excuse for the rest of us.

Even though you’ve been with men and women, you’ve said that you don’t like to call yourself bisexual. Have you found the best way to explain your sexual orientation to people yet?

Not really. And it’s not something I feel too pressured to figure out.

I have very strong opinions about how to cook a filet of salmon so the skin remains crispy and doesn’t stick to the pan, but with a lot of things, I don’t like being the expert. I’d rather go in and be like, “I don’t know.” There’s a power in that for me. It’s sort of like going in with humility and saying, “I’m still trying to figure it out.”

While I don’t think I’m trying to figure out my sexuality, I’m just not as concerned with it anymore. It’s this dynamic process. I’d just rather keep it open and fluid, because that’s how I am with the books that I read, the music that I listen to. All of my interests are always changing, and it’s a constant dynamic process, and so is my sexuality.

Is today June 1?

Today is June 1.

It has me thinking about Pride and what Pride means: the ability to be the truest version of yourself without any negative consequence or fear of being persecuted or judged or criticized or hurt for it. And whatever that is for a person, however you define yourself or don’t define yourself, you should be able to do that with total freedom.

I read that you were a private chef for some high-profile clients.

It was something that kind of happened accidentally, cooking for people. I’m not a classically trained chef, where I’m in a kitchen and I’m doing my own thing; I’m an entertainer, that’s who I am. And I love food, and I love playing with it, and I love preparing it for people. It’s how I show my love.

It wasn’t an everyday thing, where I showed up and made breakfast, lunch, and dinner for someone. I’ve always had, like, 10 different things going on at the same time.

If you could cook for any celebrity, who would it be and what would you cook?

Dead or alive?

They can be dead.

I would take something off of the menu at Voltaire in Paris, and I would prepare it for Oscar Wilde. I would slap my copy of De Profundis in front of him and be like, “We’re gonna talk about this for five hours, and I’m gonna feed your belly, and I’m gonna get you drunk, and you’re just gonna tell me everything and answer all of my questions.”

You’re on a desert island and you have to survive on just one food: What is it?

I love a fresh coconut. You crack it and you have the milk, which is so delicious, but the flesh too. There’s that creamy part on the inside that you can scoop with a spoon, and then there’s the really hard shell part that, if you roast it with sugar, it gets caramelized and really nice and crunchy.

So, I think coconuts. I’d get fed up with them after a week, but I don’t know what food I wouldn’t get fed up about, truly. Ask me again tomorrow.

I’ve never thought about the flesh of a coconut until now, and it sounds weirdly sexy.

[Laughs.] Oh, think about it. Go buy a fresh coconut and think of me.

WATCH:

source https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2018/06/28/the-tasty-star-of-netflixs-queer-eye-talks-fluid-sexuality/ from Hot Spots Magazine https://hotspotsmagazin.blogspot.com/2018/06/the-tasty-star-of-netflixs-queer-eye.html

[demitgibbs]

The Tasty Star of Netflix’s ‘Queer Eye’ Talks Fluid Sexuality

Antoni Porowski is known for his avocados. But on a recent afternoon he was contemplating the coconut, mapping every sultry detail of the tropical fruit as if it were the body of a new lover: the fleshy inside, the milky nectar.

It’s the first day of June when the Polish-Canadian wine-and-dine expert on Netflix’s Queer Eye reboot rings and, oh right, we’re talking about food. But gay America isn’t hungry: It’s thirsty AF.

And because real lives are being changed thanks to Porowski, designer Bobby Berk, culture advisor Karamo Brown, stylist Tan France, and groomer Jonathan Van Ness, it is also joyfully crying.

Season 2 of Queer Eye — note the dropped qualifier, a nod to the show’s new inclusivity — doesn’t skimp on opportunities for you to feel good about this otherwise not-good world, as the Fab Five imparts their best-life insight and general gay wisdom to a diverse group of clients, including the franchise’s first woman and transgender man.

As Porowski continues to process the experience, and the attendant upswing in gay male thirst and avocado sex puns, the 34-year-old subject of culinary controversy talked critics and why variety truly is the spice of life.

In the new promo video for the show, with Betty Who singing the theme, you’re cradling avocados and wearing a crop top. The avocado dick puns have been out in full force.

I guess I asked for it, right? I’m literally wearing a crop top and unsuccessfully trying to juggle avocados, so I shouldn’t be surprised.

WATCH:

I must say, I do hope the crop top becomes your signature look in the third season.

[Laughs.] Thanks! I do have to give credit where it’s due, and that was 100 percent Tan France.

When it comes to you, the thirst is real. What is that kind of attention like from the gay community?

I do maintain a certain amount of ignorance to it — and a kind of detachment. There’s been a lot of really amazing and positive attention from the show. But with that, there’s also gonna be haters. If I’m gonna take the good, I have to take the bad, so I’ve decided to take neither.

I just try to focus on what my next move is with this show, with press that we’re working on, living out of hotels for the past couple of months, and hoping that people really enjoy [this season] as much as they did the first.

When you’re living out of hotels, how do you maintain a healthy diet?

I don’t! That’s the honest truth. I’m not one to deny myself the pleasures of, like, a good ripe stinky cheese on a crusty slice of fresh-baked bread in Paris.

Oh, I’ve seen you indulge on the show.

It happens.

You’re not afraid of some macaroni salad.

There ya go! Well, but that wasn’t my recipe.

It wasn’t, but you still ate it.

Oh, I ate it. I’ll try anything twice.

Are you still trying to wrap your head around your overnight fame?

Yeah. I mean, it certainly hits in waves. We were just in London, and when you experience people who’ve been waiting outside of your hotel with magazines to sign, it’s kind of like, “Wow, you’re a human with a life and a job, presumably, who wanted to wait to have a moment.” I’m grateful for it, but it’s not something I want to be too comfortable with. It’s very bizarre and very overwhelming.

What my therapist tells me is, “Don’t trust your feelings right now because you’re constantly basically running on adrenaline — your life right now is pure adrenaline.” It’s been like overdrive, so it’s just, take everything very lightly.

What are your gay fan interactions outside of hotels like?

I feel like I’m pretty good at reading people, but with fans, the energy and the direction of it is very different. So my thing is: Ask them a question about themselves, try to make this a human interaction, and try to normalize it, just to make sure that the person has a nice, meaningful experience and they can leave happy.

[But] sometimes I’m left, like, taking care of people. They’ll come up, and their mouths open and they don’t say anything. I have to kind of take care of them and be like, “Are you OK? It’s fine. Here, do you want a hug? Do you want a photo?”

You don’t just go right in for the hug?

No, I’m a little — yeah, I have more of a European sensibility. We like to kiss twice. Or, I don’t know, healthy boundaries?

Kiss twice, though? Everyone must just enjoy meeting you.

[Laughs.]

How has helping other people on this show changed your approach to your own life?

I’ve had many passions: I studied psychology; I worked as a gallery director; I photographed vintage furniture. And on the acting side of things, that was something that was always very ego[-driven]. I wanted people to look and see and feel my presence, whereas with the show, it actually isn’t that at all. The energy is directed in the other direction, so it’s really us being of service to this person that we’re helping.

We see that happen in the first episode of Season 2, with Mama Tammye

Mama Tammye is an example who spun it on us, and doesn’t even take care of herself and shows up as a teacher and as a member of her church, and for the five of us.

You cried at the end of that episode. Of the Fab Five, who cries the most?

You’re talking to him! When you hear somebody’s struggle, or especially when they’ve overcome something or made a choice like Tammye — there was a lot of pain and a lot of fear and borderline hateful feelings toward gays, and she realized that it was her perspective that was wrong, and she’s a beacon of hope for people.

It’s possible at any age. If you have people like Tammye who were able to figure it out, there’s no excuse for the rest of us.

Even though you’ve been with men and women, you’ve said that you don’t like to call yourself bisexual. Have you found the best way to explain your sexual orientation to people yet?

Not really. And it’s not something I feel too pressured to figure out.

I have very strong opinions about how to cook a filet of salmon so the skin remains crispy and doesn’t stick to the pan, but with a lot of things, I don’t like being the expert. I’d rather go in and be like, “I don’t know.” There’s a power in that for me. It’s sort of like going in with humility and saying, “I’m still trying to figure it out.”

While I don’t think I’m trying to figure out my sexuality, I’m just not as concerned with it anymore. It’s this dynamic process. I’d just rather keep it open and fluid, because that’s how I am with the books that I read, the music that I listen to. All of my interests are always changing, and it’s a constant dynamic process, and so is my sexuality.

Is today June 1?

Today is June 1.

It has me thinking about Pride and what Pride means: the ability to be the truest version of yourself without any negative consequence or fear of being persecuted or judged or criticized or hurt for it. And whatever that is for a person, however you define yourself or don’t define yourself, you should be able to do that with total freedom.

I read that you were a private chef for some high-profile clients.

It was something that kind of happened accidentally, cooking for people. I’m not a classically trained chef, where I’m in a kitchen and I’m doing my own thing; I’m an entertainer, that’s who I am. And I love food, and I love playing with it, and I love preparing it for people. It’s how I show my love.

It wasn’t an everyday thing, where I showed up and made breakfast, lunch, and dinner for someone. I’ve always had, like, 10 different things going on at the same time.

If you could cook for any celebrity, who would it be and what would you cook?

Dead or alive?

They can be dead.

I would take something off of the menu at Voltaire in Paris, and I would prepare it for Oscar Wilde. I would slap my copy of De Profundis in front of him and be like, “We’re gonna talk about this for five hours, and I’m gonna feed your belly, and I’m gonna get you drunk, and you’re just gonna tell me everything and answer all of my questions.”

You’re on a desert island and you have to survive on just one food: What is it?

I love a fresh coconut. You crack it and you have the milk, which is so delicious, but the flesh too. There’s that creamy part on the inside that you can scoop with a spoon, and then there’s the really hard shell part that, if you roast it with sugar, it gets caramelized and really nice and crunchy.

So, I think coconuts. I’d get fed up with them after a week, but I don’t know what food I wouldn’t get fed up about, truly. Ask me again tomorrow.

I’ve never thought about the flesh of a coconut until now, and it sounds weirdly sexy.

[Laughs.] Oh, think about it. Go buy a fresh coconut and think of me.

WATCH:

from Hotspots! Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2018/06/28/the-tasty-star-of-netflixs-queer-eye-talks-fluid-sexuality/ from Hot Spots Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.tumblr.com/post/175340031015

[hotspotsmagazine]

The Tasty Star of Netflix’s ‘Queer Eye’ Talks Fluid Sexuality

Antoni Porowski is known for his avocados. But on a recent afternoon he was contemplating the coconut, mapping every sultry detail of the tropical fruit as if it were the body of a new lover: the fleshy inside, the milky nectar.

It’s the first day of June when the Polish-Canadian wine-and-dine expert on Netflix’s Queer Eye reboot rings and, oh right, we’re talking about food. But gay America isn’t hungry: It’s thirsty AF.

And because real lives are being changed thanks to Porowski, designer Bobby Berk, culture advisor Karamo Brown, stylist Tan France, and groomer Jonathan Van Ness, it is also joyfully crying.

Season 2 of Queer Eye — note the dropped qualifier, a nod to the show’s new inclusivity — doesn’t skimp on opportunities for you to feel good about this otherwise not-good world, as the Fab Five imparts their best-life insight and general gay wisdom to a diverse group of clients, including the franchise’s first woman and transgender man.

As Porowski continues to process the experience, and the attendant upswing in gay male thirst and avocado sex puns, the 34-year-old subject of culinary controversy talked critics and why variety truly is the spice of life.

In the new promo video for the show, with Betty Who singing the theme, you’re cradling avocados and wearing a crop top. The avocado dick puns have been out in full force.

I guess I asked for it, right? I’m literally wearing a crop top and unsuccessfully trying to juggle avocados, so I shouldn’t be surprised.

WATCH:

I must say, I do hope the crop top becomes your signature look in the third season.

[Laughs.] Thanks! I do have to give credit where it’s due, and that was 100 percent Tan France.

When it comes to you, the thirst is real. What is that kind of attention like from the gay community?

I do maintain a certain amount of ignorance to it — and a kind of detachment. There’s been a lot of really amazing and positive attention from the show. But with that, there’s also gonna be haters. If I’m gonna take the good, I have to take the bad, so I’ve decided to take neither.

I just try to focus on what my next move is with this show, with press that we’re working on, living out of hotels for the past couple of months, and hoping that people really enjoy [this season] as much as they did the first.

When you’re living out of hotels, how do you maintain a healthy diet?

I don’t! That’s the honest truth. I’m not one to deny myself the pleasures of, like, a good ripe stinky cheese on a crusty slice of fresh-baked bread in Paris.

Oh, I’ve seen you indulge on the show.

It happens.

You’re not afraid of some macaroni salad.

There ya go! Well, but that wasn’t my recipe.

It wasn’t, but you still ate it.

Oh, I ate it. I’ll try anything twice.

Are you still trying to wrap your head around your overnight fame?

Yeah. I mean, it certainly hits in waves. We were just in London, and when you experience people who’ve been waiting outside of your hotel with magazines to sign, it’s kind of like, “Wow, you’re a human with a life and a job, presumably, who wanted to wait to have a moment.” I’m grateful for it, but it’s not something I want to be too comfortable with. It’s very bizarre and very overwhelming.

What my therapist tells me is, “Don’t trust your feelings right now because you’re constantly basically running on adrenaline — your life right now is pure adrenaline.” It’s been like overdrive, so it’s just, take everything very lightly.

What are your gay fan interactions outside of hotels like?

I feel like I’m pretty good at reading people, but with fans, the energy and the direction of it is very different. So my thing is: Ask them a question about themselves, try to make this a human interaction, and try to normalize it, just to make sure that the person has a nice, meaningful experience and they can leave happy.

[But] sometimes I’m left, like, taking care of people. They’ll come up, and their mouths open and they don’t say anything. I have to kind of take care of them and be like, “Are you OK? It’s fine. Here, do you want a hug? Do you want a photo?”

You don’t just go right in for the hug?

No, I’m a little — yeah, I have more of a European sensibility. We like to kiss twice. Or, I don’t know, healthy boundaries?

Kiss twice, though? Everyone must just enjoy meeting you.

[Laughs.]

How has helping other people on this show changed your approach to your own life?

I’ve had many passions: I studied psychology; I worked as a gallery director; I photographed vintage furniture. And on the acting side of things, that was something that was always very ego[-driven]. I wanted people to look and see and feel my presence, whereas with the show, it actually isn’t that at all. The energy is directed in the other direction, so it’s really us being of service to this person that we’re helping.

We see that happen in the first episode of Season 2, with Mama Tammye

Mama Tammye is an example who spun it on us, and doesn’t even take care of herself and shows up as a teacher and as a member of her church, and for the five of us.

You cried at the end of that episode. Of the Fab Five, who cries the most?

You’re talking to him! When you hear somebody’s struggle, or especially when they’ve overcome something or made a choice like Tammye — there was a lot of pain and a lot of fear and borderline hateful feelings toward gays, and she realized that it was her perspective that was wrong, and she’s a beacon of hope for people.

It’s possible at any age. If you have people like Tammye who were able to figure it out, there’s no excuse for the rest of us.

Even though you’ve been with men and women, you’ve said that you don’t like to call yourself bisexual. Have you found the best way to explain your sexual orientation to people yet?

Not really. And it’s not something I feel too pressured to figure out.

I have very strong opinions about how to cook a filet of salmon so the skin remains crispy and doesn’t stick to the pan, but with a lot of things, I don’t like being the expert. I’d rather go in and be like, “I don’t know.” There’s a power in that for me. It’s sort of like going in with humility and saying, “I’m still trying to figure it out.”

While I don’t think I’m trying to figure out my sexuality, I’m just not as concerned with it anymore. It’s this dynamic process. I’d just rather keep it open and fluid, because that’s how I am with the books that I read, the music that I listen to. All of my interests are always changing, and it’s a constant dynamic process, and so is my sexuality.

Is today June 1?

Today is June 1.

It has me thinking about Pride and what Pride means: the ability to be the truest version of yourself without any negative consequence or fear of being persecuted or judged or criticized or hurt for it. And whatever that is for a person, however you define yourself or don’t define yourself, you should be able to do that with total freedom.

I read that you were a private chef for some high-profile clients.

It was something that kind of happened accidentally, cooking for people. I’m not a classically trained chef, where I’m in a kitchen and I’m doing my own thing; I’m an entertainer, that’s who I am. And I love food, and I love playing with it, and I love preparing it for people. It’s how I show my love.

It wasn’t an everyday thing, where I showed up and made breakfast, lunch, and dinner for someone. I’ve always had, like, 10 different things going on at the same time.

If you could cook for any celebrity, who would it be and what would you cook?

Dead or alive?

They can be dead.

I would take something off of the menu at Voltaire in Paris, and I would prepare it for Oscar Wilde. I would slap my copy of De Profundis in front of him and be like, “We’re gonna talk about this for five hours, and I’m gonna feed your belly, and I’m gonna get you drunk, and you’re just gonna tell me everything and answer all of my questions.”

You’re on a desert island and you have to survive on just one food: What is it?

I love a fresh coconut. You crack it and you have the milk, which is so delicious, but the flesh too. There’s that creamy part on the inside that you can scoop with a spoon, and then there’s the really hard shell part that, if you roast it with sugar, it gets caramelized and really nice and crunchy.

So, I think coconuts. I’d get fed up with them after a week, but I don’t know what food I wouldn’t get fed up about, truly. Ask me again tomorrow.

I’ve never thought about the flesh of a coconut until now, and it sounds weirdly sexy.

[Laughs.] Oh, think about it. Go buy a fresh coconut and think of me.

WATCH:

from Hotspots! Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2018/06/28/the-tasty-star-of-netflixs-queer-eye-talks-fluid-sexuality/

[thewritenerd]

Victor and Adam: NaNoWriMo Day 22 & 23

‘You don’t know if you like her?’ Maram suggested. Adam nodded. ‘I’m still new to a lot of things. And there are a lot of things I’m still figuring out.’ Marram looked thoughtful. ‘We need to get to class now. But we’ll talk more at break.’ With that she and Oscar said goodbye to Adam and went off down the hall as Adam made his way up the stairs. ‘Hey Adam.’ Shreya said as she came over to him. ‘So who was that you were talking to?’ ‘Oh just some kids from science.’ Shreya nodded. They didn’t say anything as they made their way to the computer rooms. Adam wanted to say something to her but what? Should he ask about the book? Or would she be upset he hadn’t figured out what it had meant? Shreya stopped just outside her classroom and turned to face Adam. ‘Uh Adam, I was wondering. Do you any chance want to do something together this weekend? There’s going to be a funfair just outside of town. Or if the weathers bad we could just get a drink?’ she cocked her head to one side and looked up at him with a small smile on her face. The thought of spending a day with Shreya did sound nice. But the thought of going into town made him want to be sick. He shook his head. ‘Sorry I don’t really feel like doing that sort of thing. You’ll have to ask someone else.’ Shreya’s smile fell. ‘Oh well never mind.’ She said as she slipped into her class without another word. Unsure what had just happened Adam made his way to his class two doors down. Once inside he spotted Chelsea in their usual spot and took a seat next to it. 

‘So how was Chem?’ Chelsea asked. ‘Fine.’ He said. Chelsea frowned at him. ‘Something happened didn’t it?’ He shrugged. ‘I’m not sure.’ ‘Adam.’ He sighed and explained what had happened in the hallway and what Maram and Oscar had told him. When he was done Chelsea just sat staring at him. Then slowly it began to shake its head at him. ‘You are an idiot.’ Adam frowned. ‘I’m not…’ ‘A girl asks you on a date and your response is ask someone else?’ It was Adam’s turn to shake his head. ‘She didn’t ask me if she wanted to go on a date, just…’ ‘Just go out together just the two of you with no one else?’ ‘Yeah.’ ‘While openly flirting as she did so?’ He shrugged, truthfully he hadn’t been entirely sure what she’d been doing had been flirting. Though thinking back maybe it should have been more obvious to him. ‘Well should you really go out with someone if you don’t know if you like them?’ Chelsea looked thoughtful. ‘Well not if you know you don’t. But if you’re not sure sometimes it’s good to give it a go. If it turns out you were wrong you break up. Maybe someone cries about it. Then you both move on. But if you don’t give it a go then you’ll never know.’ ‘I don’t want to make anyone cry.’ ‘No one does. But it may be too late to worry about that.’ Adam looked down at his hands. His mind was running in circles. He probably did like Shreya. But he was scared. And how could they be a couple if he couldn’t even go anywhere without being yelled at in the street. ‘Just think about it okay.’ Chelsea said turning to its computer screen.

***

It was Victor who picked Adam up from school at lunch. He explained he’d had a meeting and as he had the car he and Igor had figured it would be easier if he picked Adam up. Adam didn’t say anything in response instead he just sat staring out of the window. ‘I brought you some lunch. Seeing as you didn’t have any breakfast. Adam looked at the paper bag and pulled it open. A strong greasy scent emitted from the bag. It shouldn’t have been appetising but it made Adam’s stomach growl. ‘You’d better eat it now. If Igor finds out I’ve given you junk food we’ll both be in trouble.’ He glanced over to Adam. ‘Thanks.’ He said as he reached in and opened one of the cardboard boxes. It wasn’t until he’d started eating that he realised just how hungry he had been. By the time Victor parked the car he had eaten everything but the chicken bones. ‘Thought you’d be hungry.’ Adam nodded. ‘Yeah. Thanks again.’ Victor began to climb out. ‘Go and throw all that away. In the outside bin. Then you can just go and do whatever you like.’ Adam stepped out of the car and made his way over to the bins which sat just behind where the car was parked. Making his way inside he wondered what to do now. He supposed he should use his free time working on his invention. He’d lost two days of work already and he’d promised Dr Ramaker he’d have it done in a month.

 Victor

Justine arrived on Wednesday not long after Igor had left to pick Adam up from school. Victor had seen the taxicab drive up and had come out to great her. She quickly made her way over and threw her arms around him. ‘How are you?’ he asked once she’d released him from her grip. ‘Better now I know I’ll have some time away from all… that.’ Victor nodded. ‘Well Igor’s not here but I can help you with your bags and show you your room.’ He picked up his sister’s old high school gym bag and a plastic carrier bag filled with her various soaps and perfumes. Justine took out her suitcase and swung her backpack onto her back. She called her thanks to the taxi driver, who gave her a thumbs up before driving off, before turning to follow Victor inside. He lead her up the stairs and along the hallway. ‘My room is just around the corner.’ He said as he pushed the door to her new room open. And at the end of that hallway you’ll find the stairs leading to Igor’s quarters. If you ever need either of us.’ Justine nodded and set her bags down on the bed. ‘We usually eat dinner at six.’ Victor continued. ‘Igor insists we all eat together unless I’m on a deadline for work. Speaking of which I’m sure this goes without saying but while I’m in my office I expect everyone to be quiet while moving around the ground floor.’ Justine nodded smiling a bit. ‘You really haven’t changed.’ She teased. Victor shook his head. ‘Well I’ll leave you to unpack.’ With that he left. It wasn’t long before he heard Adam and Igor coming through the front door. Making his way to the front door he nearly got knocked over by Adam who was rushing past. ‘Sorry.’ Adam called as he ran off. ‘Don’t run in… And he’s gone.’ Victor turned to face Igor. ‘What was all that about?’ ‘He asked if he could go to the ruins. I said he could as long as he was back in time to washup for dinner.’ ‘Right. Doesn’t explain why he’s in such a hurry but never mind. Anyway speaking of dinner Justine’s here and I’d like you to make Coq Au Vin. It’s her favourite you see.’ Igor nodded. ‘Of course sir.’ With that he left to begin preparing the meal.

***

Come dinner time Victor found himself being the last to arrive. Adam was already sat at his usual seat at one end of the table and Justine had been seated somewhere in the middle. ‘Sorry I’m late. Had to make a phone call.’ Victor explained as he took his seat at the other end of the table. Justine reassured him it was fine, Adam simply shrugged. Igor served the food and poured the wine for Victor before turning to Justine. ‘Any wine for the lady?’ he asked. Justine blinked. ‘Uh. Yeah sure go on.’ Igor poured her drink before leaving to put the bottle away. Justine sniffed at the red liquid before taking a sip. ‘Hmm.’ She said nodding to herself. ‘Not bad. So what’s the occasion?’ she asked Victor. ‘Nothing.’ He replied as he picked up his fork. ‘I always have a glass at dinner sometimes a little more on a weekend. I’m not a big drinker but I find it adds something to the meal.’ Justine nodded before turning to Adam. ‘What about you? You ever drink?’ ‘Adam is underage.’ Victor said a little more snappily than he would have liked. Quickly he composed himself before continuing. ‘I doubt Igor would approve of me giving a minor alcohol.’ Justine gave him a look that said, I’m not falling for it. He hated that look mainly because whatever conclusion she had come to usually turned out to be undeniably correct. Even when Victor didn’t know it himself. The majority of the dinner conversation was taken up by Adam and Justine who had asked him to call her Auntie Justine. Adam had seemed delighted at this. Once they’d finished eating and waited for dessert, fruit salad with a dollop of cream, Justine asked Adam if he’d ever seen any ghosts. ‘Ghosts?’ Adam asked looking from Justine to Victor. ‘Yeah ghosts old building like this must have some. I saw a ghost once.’ Victor let out a long sigh. ‘For the last time that wasn’t a ghost. That was Elizabeth getting a glass of water. You and your friend scared yourselves over nothing.’ ‘That’s what you think. But how do you explain it happening just after we’d summoned a ghost.’ ‘Coincidence. You used that Ouija board at the same time Elizabeth always goes downstairs for a drink.’ Justine shook her head. ‘I’m telling you it wasn’t Liz.’ ‘I’m sorry but could someone please tell me what a ghost is?’ Adam asked. Jusine turned to look at him. ‘You’ve never heard of ghosts. A ghost is the spirit of a dead person who hasn’t moved on to the otherside. Some are pretty peaceful just wandering around the place they died. But some are really aggressive. Attacking anyone who comes near. Or even just specific people. But what these ghosts really want is to reap their revenge on the one or ones who wronged them. And until then they’ll never know peace.’ ‘Justine that’s enough!’ Victor said slamming his fist down. He turned to Adam who had started to shake. ‘It’s all nonsense ignorant people thought up when they scared themselves over thinking every little shadow. There are no such thing as ghosts. Justine’s just trying to scare you.’ ‘Well it worked.’ Adam said sounding close to tears. ‘Oh sweetie I didn’t mean to freak you out so much. I was only messing around.’ Adam nodded but wouldn’t look at her. He ate his dessert quicker than usual before standing up and rushing out without a word. ‘What the hell was that about?’ Victor hissed at Justine the moment he was gone. ‘Telling him all that nonsense. Especially after…’ ‘I know. I’m sorry I wasn’t thinking about that.’ ‘I don’t think you were thinking at all.’ Victor scolded. He knew he should probably drop the subject but he couldn’t stop thinking about how scared Adam had seemed. ‘The boy has enough trouble sleeping. I don’t need you to make things worse.’ Justine simply nodded and finished her fruit in silence.  Once he’d finished Victor decided to make his way up to Adam’s room to see if he was okay. He found him sitting at his desk working on another invention. This one looked like it was quite far along and Victor was surprised Adam hadn’t mentioned it. ‘What’s that?’ he asked. Adam jumped snapping the small strip of metal he’d been holding in two. ‘Shit.’ Adam hissed before turning round. ‘Uh it’s nothing.’ Victor raised an eyebrow. ‘I’ll pretend I didn’t hear you cursing. Anyway you don’t usually refer to your inventions as nothing.’ Adam shrugged. ‘It’s not an invention perse. I’m just experimenting with different mechanisms.’ Victor nodded. ‘So what have you found out?’ Adam shrugged looking at the ground. ‘Well there’s no point doing experiments if you can’t even remember what you learnt from them. You need to write this stuff down. I could get you some notebooks, that one you’ve got is probably getting pretty full by now and it’s best to keep your notes separate. Would you like that?’ Adam simply nodded but didn’t say anything. Victor sighed. ‘Justine didn’t mean to scare you so much. Though I suspect she wanted to scare you a little. I’ve had a word with her about pulling something like that.’ ‘Did you tell her about, about me going to therapy?’ Adam asked. Victor shook his head. ‘It didn’t seem relevant.’ ‘Good. Because I don’t want people knowing. They already think I’m… I don’t want to give them anymore reason to treat me like…’ ‘Justine wouldn’t do that. But if you want to keep it quiet then that’s what we’ll do.’ He turned to leave before stopping. ‘Oh and I got a call from your school. Something about destroying one of the science rooms?’ ‘It was one bench. And it wasn’t deliberate. An experiment went wrong.’ Victor chuckled a bit at the indignation in the boys voice. ‘Yeah I figured as much. Don’t worry I’ve dealt with it.’ He left and headed back downstairs.

Adam

Adam woke up with a start after another nightmare. This was a new one. He’d dreamt he’d looked out of his bedroom window and seen that little girl looking up at him. He’d taken a step back away from the window and heard a horrifying crunch from underneath him. Looking down he’d see William lying on the floor with his skull completely crushed under Adam’s foot. The dream had been so vivid even now he was fully awake Adam could swear he could feel the brains between his toes. He started pacing up and down his room clawing at his wrists as he did so. He should really take his meds, but had it been six hours since the last dose? And if he took them now he’d only be able to take them one more time over the next 24 hours. And with another Chemistry lesson and English and a therapist appointment all he would probably need two doses over the course of the day tomorrow. Deciding he needed to save his pills and too worked up to try and sleep he sat down at his computer. He found two new follow requests on Instagram from Maram and Oliver which he accepted straight away. He found links to another couple of sites on Oliver’s account so he clicked on them and followed them. One turned out to be a youtube channel and to Adam’s surprise he found he’d posted a few videos. They seemed to be mostly educational with titles like; Dating a Hijabi Muslim (ft. My Girlfriend), How to Use an Epi Pen and Trans Male vs Trans Masc What’s The Difference. There were also a couple of gaming videos. Adam decided to give one of those a watch as he didn’t feel like anything too heavy. He found a video of Oscar playing a dating sim. This sim was about a man who had moved house with his daughter to a street where most of the people living there were also single dads. He remembered Nate had played it himself and kept going on at Adam and Chelsea to play it. ‘I thought you were aromantic?’ Chelsea had joked. ‘Yeah so? That doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy a good love story.’ Adam still had no desire to play the game himself, but he was curious as to what it was like. He clicked play on the video and sat back to watch. It was clearly an older video, Oliver had no braces and notably less piercings than Adam was used to seeing him with. His hair was also orange and pink rather than the various shades of blue it had been the other day. Though Adam noted the haircut was the same. He’d only meant to watch a couple of episodes to get his head to calm down but before he’d known it the sun was coming up and he was still awake. Well at least I got some sleep. He thought as he got up. There was no point even trying to go to bed now but it would be a while until Igor made breakfast. Deciding to take another trip to the ruins Adam quickly got dressed. And made his way downstairs, taking care to tiptoe when passing Justine’s door. Once outside he started to make his way to the trapdoor. He wasn’t going to go down it, not again. He’d been down there the night before to see if he could find a couple of things to use in his invention in Victor’s lab. Technically it was stealing, but they were such small items he doubted Victor would miss them. No he wouldn’t risk going down there so soon after he’d just done so but he did want to see that trapdoor again. As he approached though he suddenly saw something, or should that be someone darting across the ruins. Now there was no doubt in his mind he had been seeing someone. This person was as solid and as real as the stones around them. Adam couldn’t see their face as they had their back to him and they wore a dark blue hoody, the hood up concealing their hair. But he could tell they were not a skinny individual. Though anyone who would assume this figure would be slow because of this they would have soon changed their mind upon seeing them run. Adam charged after them but couldn’t quite catch up. The chase ended when he tripped over a small pile of stone and the stranger disappeared into the woods. ‘Shit.’ Adam hissed as he tried to sit up. ‘Ahh! Shit shit shit.’ He said a little louder at the pain that went up his left arm as he put weight on it. Trying his best not to lean on it he struggled to his feet using his right arm to push himself up and made his way in doors.